#I mean I see the irony about reading I guess

[safirefire]

the only thing I just learned is that the loud sound immediately renders the info useless because I dismissed the sound faster than I could read the pop up

[theminecraftbee]

situation ask game: joe hills for 16?

16. Meeting past/future self

"Howdy!" Joe Hills says.

"Howdy!" Joe Hills says back. "This seems to be quite the predicament."

"Oh god, there are two of them," whispers Doc. He'd just wanted to check on the log shop, man. Joe had said something about fixing some redstone (inherently terrifying to hear), and he'd just wanted to come check on it and inevitably fix the fixed redstone, and now there are two of them.

"I have to say," the first Joe Hills--presumably, the original one, given that he's insisting on saying everything through that stupid hand puppet he made this season, although Doc couldn't tell you--says. "I'm fairly certain seeing my own ghostly visage is normally considered a bad sign in most literature. Luckily, this isn't literature, so I can ignore the ill portent."

"Alas, I am, in fact, a bad omen," the second Joe Hills says, all too cheerfully. The second Joe Hills does not have a hand puppet and appears by all measures to be a ghost. Doc would generally agree that's a bad sign too, except for the fact that the Joe he knows is a ghost about fifty percent of the time, and oh no, he's already confused. There are two of them and he's already confused.

Maybe he should go get some coffee. The cafe Cleo set up is supposed to be good, and if he's this confused, maybe he'll manage to get himself to walk past the cats before he remembers he's supposed to be scared.

"Oh no," Doc's Joe says. "I don't have time for bad omens. For one, I'm not any good at killing pillagers. For another thing, I'm busy. See I was trying to help and I accidentally broke Doc's redstone and I feel bad because I think he's like, actually for-real mad about it, not fake mad, and we're supposed to be business partners, right, so I thought I'd come here and fix the redstone. Except then when I was hanging out with Mumbo at the end of our setup confessional Mumbo mentioned something and I just now remembered it and I think I fixed it wrong, so I'm here to try to figure that out, and that means I really don't have time for a bad omen."

"We never do," the ghost Joe says, shaking his head.

Doc, weirdly, feels touched.

"So if you could go away and give me dire warnings later--"

"Sorry, I don't have time to be put off for later! If you put this off for future Joe, you're putting this off to me! Then I'll have to do this all over again, and it'll be a closed time loop. Or, I guess mostly closed, because I don't remember this. But maybe you hit your head and forget everything! I don't know! I don't know how time travel works, but closed time loops were always the really confusing ones because they try to make sense. If we don't try to make sense you might still be able to change things."

"Oh no. What if this is a self-fulfilling prophecy?"

"I hadn't considered that," the ghost Joe says.

"I mean, everything I've ever read says that in trying to avert catastrophe, I am likely to accidentally cause it!" Doc's Joe says.

"Maybe the solution is for you to not believe my warnings?" the ghost Joe says. "No, that always ends badly too. That means there's dramatic irony!"

"Right, right. Maybe you just have to be as clear as possible, so I can't misinterpret your words?"

"No, I think the solution is to be vague," the ghost Joe says. "Good prophecies are normally vague that way. I mean, I'm mostly just here to tell you how to avert the nasty end of the world that kills everyone super dead, not anything too complicated! If I put too many details in, I'll leave in a dramatically appropriate loophole by accident, and then you'll never manage it."

"True, but Cleo says that I should always be given exact instructions, or I'll do the wrong thing on purpose," Doc's Joe says.

"We do that even more with exact instructions."

"That is true! And I guess it's harder to remember exact instructions?"

"Maybe the solution, given that I am going to vanish back to the past in five minutes," the ghost Joe says, "is that I should simply write down my instructions. That will make them harder to misremember or misinterpret."

"I will lose those too! This is too much responsibility!"

"I know! That's what I said!" ghost Joe says. "I said, why are you asking me. I mean I know the ghost thing is the only reason I can do this, but I don't want this kind of responsibility! I am not trustworthy! You all have known this since, like, day one, stop putting this kind of stressful responsibility on me! I do weird things when I'm stressed! I mean, I'm always stressed--"

"That's true, we are," Doc's Joe interjects.

"--but this is even more stressful than that! If I thought anyone else could do it, I would have said no! And now I don't know how to--"

"Man, if the world is going to end and kill all of us, stop worrying and just say how," Doc says, stepping out of his hiding place and throwing up his hands. "You're wasting time!"

"Oh, you're right," ghost Joe says. "So, the world will end when--"

He vanishes.

Doc and Doc's Joe stare after ghost Joe into the distance. Finally, Joe, with the world's most betrayed expression, turns to Doc.

"You scared me off!" he says. "If you hadn't shown up I'm sure I would have explained eventually."

"WHAT," Doc says as calmly as possible back. It does not appear to appease the Joe he's left with at all.

[sunkissed-zegras]

. "you're an idiot." / "but i'm your idiot." W jack hughes ;)

𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐦𝐚 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐞𝐧𝐬 | jh⁸⁶

♡ ─ word count | 412

♡ ─ warnings | lots of shit talking (LMAO), mention of nose jobs and jack being mean (not to reader), nothing else

♡ ─ ev's notes | i love shit talking w boys cus they make it so entertaining HAHAH

"And then she said that if I had a problem with her, I should just say it to her face. And when I did, she started crying." You scoffed as you explained your friend-group drama to your boyfriend, Jack.

You were both on your bed as Jack laid there, you were sitting up explaining it. He looked very intrigued as he listened intently, nodding occasionally to show he was following along.

Jack raised an eyebrow, his expression amused. "Wait, so you told her what was bothering you, and she started crying? What a bitch." He rolled his eyes as you let out a laugh.

You chuckled at Jack's blunt response, appreciating his straightforwardness. "Yeah, it was pretty unexpected. I mean, I thought she wanted honesty, but I guess she couldn't handle it."

"Wait, isn't she the one with the fucked up nose from the nose job?" Jack's eyebrows knitted as he thought for a moment.

You couldn't help but burst into laughter at Jack's unexpected comment, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, that's her. The one with the botched nose job. I swear, it's like she can't handle criticism on any level."

Jack smirked, clearly finding the irony amusing. "Well, maybe she should've spent more time picking a good surgeon instead of judging other people. And what did you even say? Nothing as bad as I would've said, you're actually nice." Jack scoffed.

You let out another laugh as you shook your head. "Oh my gosh, you're such an idiot." You said playfully, giving Jack a playful shove.

"Sure, but I'm your idiot," Jack teased, dodging your shove with a grin. "I call it as I see it. If she's gonna dish out judgment left and right, she should be able to take a little in return, right?"

You rolled your eyes playfully, "Yeah, well, next time I need a reality check, I'll be sure to come to you. But seriously, I didn't even say it that harshly. I just mentioned how her constant judgmental attitude was getting on my nerves."

Jack nodded in agreement, "Some people thrive on that stuff. Drama queens, I tell ya."

"Exactly," you agreed, feeling grateful to have Jack to share these moments with. "Anyway, enough about her and her botched nose job. Let's focus on something else."

Jack nodded. "Agreed. How about we order some pizza and watch that new series we've been talking about?"

You smiled, feeling a sense of happiness wash over you. "That sounds perfect."

-> make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated! <-

thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[teriri-sayes]

Reactions to the Lone Flame's Chapter 217

TL;DR - Koukan shows his berserk form. Everyone is shocked. Lock shows his berserk form. Koukan is shocked.

Berserk Form Today's chapter was focused on Lock and the berserk form. If you read the tl;dr above, that was basically what happened the entire chapter, hahaha...

Koukan's berserk form:

gray fur all over the body

slightly sharp nails

head changes to a wolf

no changes in body size

power increased by 1.5 to 2 times

Lock's berserk form:

glossy silver fur all over the body with a bluish glow

sharp claws on hands and feet that can block swords

head is still human

huge increase in body size

power increased by 10 times

It was no wonder that the beast tribe people with Cale were shocked at how bad the situation of the beastkin in this world was when they saw Koukan's berserk form.

On the other hand, Lock's berserk form greatly shocked and moved Koukan to tears. He pleaded to Lock to become a teacher to his tribe's chieftain, Jessie, and teach her about his berserk form.

We also got Lock's perspective on the situation. The embarrassed Koukan reminded Lock of his timid self. Despite that, he hated that pitiful look. He couldn't accept it. He wanted to show Koukan how it should look like.

From his thoughts, Lock's growth was showing. He knew he was timid, but he was slowly gaining confidence in himself. He was aware of the irony that he saw himself in Koukan yet hated to see that. Of course, Cale was supportive of him, praising Lock for training hard.

Ending Remarks The chapter ended with Raon triumphantly announcing that he got permission to use magic. Does that mean he figured out how to use mana just like how CH figured out how to use aura?

Hmm, I guess this arc will alternate between Lock and Raon's character growth. Since we got a chapter on Lock's perspective, I'm also looking forward to a chapter on Raon's perspective. Please, author-nim! Please!

[di-42]

I've been putting off writing this because I was trying to find a way to not sound defensive. But, I mean, I do feel attacked on this subject, so I may as well sound defensive in my response to it.

If you have read some of my other posts and are wondering... yep. Yes, you might have guessed this is yet another post about Aziraphale's choice in the final 15. Or, rather, not. This post is not about Aziraphale. This post is about explaining Aziraphale's choice in a way that differs to the one-layer depth that we are shown on screen and being accused of lacking the ability to accept that characters I like can be complex and can make mistakes.

Oh, the irony!

So, I mean, possibly no one will be interested in this but let me rant on.

So first off, and I can't believe I'm having to say this, my opinions on Aziraphale are just that: my opinions. I won't specify that on every post I write. If your opinions are different to mine, I strongly encourage you to reply/reblog my posts with your own thoughts and pointing out what and why you disagree with. I take this as a healthy exchange of opinion and really what the fandom is for! I can learn from you! Just, needless to say, keep personal attacks out of this.

Secondly, surprise surprise, Aziraphale lovers can see clearly that Aziraphale makes mistakes. We have watched him making mistakes for 2 seasons, dropping our jaws and shaking our heads. He can be self-righteous, self centered, oblivious to other people's (especially other demons') feelings and incapable to read the room at times. But you know what? He gets it right the time that matters. And that time we are talking about mattered. But that's beside the point. The point is, the point is, we know Aziraphale can be, deep down, a bit of a bastard (and we know Crowley wouldn't love him as much as he does if he wasn't). So, these two things live together in our little, simple, depth-deprived minds: the knowledge that Aziraphale can be a bastard and the feeling that that one time he wasn't being a bastard, he was in fact being selfless.

Thirdly: our little, simple, depth-deprived minds know that stories can have, wait for it, plot twists! When something later on in that story is revealed to have happened for different reasons to the ones that were apparent at a previous point in the story. Neil Gaiman has done it in most of his work. This, of course, doesn't necessarily mean he's doing it here. Again, this is just my opinion. But really, dismissing completely the idea that there can maybe be reasons we don't know yet behind Aziraphale's choice is doing a disservice to Neil Gaiman.

Fourthly (do you even say fourthly?). The most important point of all: do you think we don't feel for Crowley? Do you really think that, because we believe Aziraphale didn't betray Crowley, we can't identify with Crowley's feelings of abandonment? Do you think our little, simple, depth-deprived minds can't hold these two feelings at the same time? Do you think we are dismissing his and our own traumas? Do you really, really think we never wanted to drive that Bentley off a cliff? We do feel for Crowley. We do feel desperate, broken, empty. We know he's lost EVERYTHING and we do recognise that feeling as well as you do. Whatever I think the reasons are behind Aziraphale's choice I do enjoy reading fiction that explains it in a different way to what I think because, again, I can believe something and feel something different at the same time. Reading so wonderfully written fiction about Crowley's pain makes me feel less alone, like bloody all of us. I write my own poems from Crowley's desperate, heartbroken point of view. It is much more alluring than the calm certainty of trust. But I digress. My point is, don't think for one second we are dismissing Crowley's pain. Don't think for one second we don't love Crowley as much as you do only because we believe Aziraphale loves Crowley even more.

Rant over, I guess.

Justice for Aziraphale. Justice for Crowley.

[cleolinda]

Creepypasta: Ted the Caver (2001)

There was a season of Are You Scared? that presented some actual famous creepypasta (pasta? pastas?), and I was so giddy about it. I love creepypasta and Weird Internet Fiction, and I recognized all the famous ones right off the bat; the moment there was a season preview and a cave was mentioned, I KNEW. So the episode with "Ted the Caver" instantly became one of my favorites ("GET IN THE FUCKING CAVE, TEDDY!!"). But it also kills me that the show presents the final installment as if it's the whole story: just one spooked, caveless guy wandering around meebling about his spelunking obsession. Buddy, there is SO MUCH caving in the full version, you don't even know. There is NONE MORE CAVING:

[Note: The original Angelfire site still works, but while I was researching this, I started running into malware. As such, I'm going to also link you to an unofficial mirror of the site at a creepypasta wiki.]

But I get it: there's no way to read the entire story aloud for a half-hour show. It was originally published as an unassuming hobbyist blog in 2001, and "Ted the Caver" is partly so effective because it is genuinely just an amateur caving blog for about 10,000 words. My understanding is that the author really is a caving enthusiast—I mean, he'd have to be, because the story is filled with actual photos of him and a friend chipping their way through a hole the size of a baseball into a cave they dub "Floyd's Tomb." So this was a real expedition... that the author wrote a delightful little spoop around.

Honestly, the real horror for me isn't even the Descent-style Something that seems to be living down there; it's the genuine terror of these fools squeezing themselves through eight-inch openings into the bowels of the earth, God bless. You can tell the mundane aspects are absolutely true to life, because the squeezing and the scraping and the panic—I'll just stop there, in case anyone has any phobias, claustro or otherwise. If I didn't before, I do now.

But it also has to be noted, "real horror" is what "Ted the Caver" is all about: the horror of a story backed up by reams of accurate detail and told through a really, really basic-ass Angelfire website. (I say this lovingly, as someone who had a shitty Geocities site herself.) It truly looks like it's just someone's blog—because that's mostly what it really is. Who wrote it? Well, an actual guy named Ted:

Well, I guess it’s time I add my two cents to the topic. My name is Ted and I am the author of the story you have been discussing. I am the original author. I created the story on my own and copied no one

...he wrote, in response to a plagiarism accusation (turns out the other guy copied him, and closely at that).

Between December 30, 1999 and February 24, 2000 Brad and I worked on a passage in Freeway cave. We made numerous trips, and spent many hours of hard work, before we were finally able to get through the opening and into the new section of cave. During the course of our adventure I kept a caving journal and documented our activities surrounding our attempts to be the first people to enter the new passage. Since we were giving friends and family members updates as we worked, I thought it would be a good idea to put my entire journal on a web page, along with our pictures, then we could simply refer people to the site. The thought then occurred to me: It sure would be fun to embellish the story a little!

Ted hasn't given his full name, but he is an actual Ted, it seems. And honestly, as much as I would like him to be credited as openly as Eric Heisserer is for "The Dionaea House," it really works in the story's favor that it's so difficult to figure out who wrote it. Not to spoil you, but the story told by the blog, much to Shane and Ryan's frustration in the video above, ends in a single puff of irony:

See all of you soon, with a lot of answers! Love, Ted

Magnificent. Because, let's face it: if a cave monster really did eat trap and eat your friend, isn't this what it would look like? No silly explanation for how a video camera somehow made it back to his friends and family from, like, the center of the fucking earth through a hole the size of a cantaloupe. No, your man there is just gone. And he's given enough detail in previous entries for you to imagine that what he finally came face to face with down there is Not Good. That's enough.

[stoopid-turtle]

On the Acceptance of Unsteady Ground

Throughout this whole dive into turtle world, I've been very conscious of just how LITTLE access to information I have. I'm relying so heavily on English translations and platforms, and most of these are from turtles, so I'm fully aware I'm getting a biased perspective.

I've tried to read stuff from solos or even just neutral third-parties. The neutral parties don't have much depth of information, though, and I found solos heavy on accusations and declarations but light on actual...evidence. And they sometimes use some really nasty rhetoric against the idea that gg and dd might be gay.

Don't get me wrong, turtles get weird too. There's plenty of clearly false rumors, deceptively edited videos, silly stretches of logic, weird ideas of what how people in a relationship would act, etc. But there's at least enough English-speaking turtles that I can find some who are giving open and, as far as I can tell, accurate information (honestly, I find tumblr turtledom better at that then other platforms). I haven't really found a similar pocket of solo fans.

I'm also aware that there's always going to be a limit on how much I can know. I don't speak the language, so I'm always relying on translators. I have limited access to Weibo (even putting aside the language barrier, I'm in text confirmation limbo in actually getting an account), and I have little familiarity with the culture. I don't get a lot of the jokes or references, and stuff may strike me, an English-speaking American, differently than it would someone in China.

Add on top of that the fact that I'm trying to find out purposely obscured information about two celebrities, and, yeah, I'm fully aware that I'm on unsteady ground here. I can do my best, but I'm never going to know anything for certain.

But I've become okay with that.

It took a while. The dissatisfaction with the unknown (and unknowable) is what drove a lot of my early fixation and subsequent fall into the turtle pit. But now, especially after laying out my thoughts, I've reached a zen place with it. I'm 100% certain ggdd were together during filming/promo, and I'm 95% certain they're still together (I had this at 85% originally, but then the whole dd being sick and gg changing his schedule thing happened and I'm just...welp, guess I'm in this confidence interval, then).

Just having that certainty means I can enjoy updates from them without anguishing about "proof" or uncertainty. Oh, gg took the day off on dd's birthday? That's really sweet! I'm not gonna fuss about if it's coincidence ENOUGH to convince me, because I'm already convinced. It's a good place to be.

I typically don't care about celebrities. In fact, I've long been bewildered by celebrity culture here in the US, and I've often been actively annoyed when people assume/expect me to have opinions on things celebrities do. I'm the nerd who doesn't get why the actors get all the attention when the writer or director would be much more interesting.

So the fact that I've gone all fangirlish over two celebrities is bizarre to me, and I appreciate the irony. Well done, me. I attribute some of it to just being able to watch the bts and see their early interactions play out like a story. I find stories compelling, and both gg and dd are charismatic, attractive and have great chemistry. Whatever disdain I have for celebs, I do love a romance.

In my foray into the ggdd world, though, I've also had to learn more about c-ent, and y'all. It's nuts. Like, US entertainment is nuts too, but c-ent ratchets it up to 11. I've been in fandom a long time, and I thought I'd seen some weird stuff, but it's got nothing on c-ent. Just wrapping my head around the culture these guys are in took a lot of learning.

But I appreciate being able to dive into this culture and this country, because I knew very little about China beyond the antagonistic politics. It's been refreshing to get a view on life on the ground in China to humanize the folks there and get a clearer picture of the country.

I started this thing bc I had been spending so much time on Youtube watching clips, and I had thoughts and opinions and nowhere to put them. I already had a tumblr that I use to lurk on some fandoms and I had started following turtles too. I figured tumblr would be a decent place to splurge out my thoughts, so I set up a throwaway account to do so.

I get the vibe that a lot of new turtles come to bjyx through the same route I took? They watch The Untamed on Netflix. They get curious about the show and start watching some clips on YT. Next thing you know, they have 3 playlists full of purported "proof of love" and they need a whiteboard to connect everything together and their wife thinks they've gone completely bonkers supports them in all their oddities.

Like, I was really confused by turtles at first. I was just trying to watch bts videos on YouTube and I didn't know what bjyx meant, but the videos with the label were weird and had strange disclaimers that they were "only for turtles" and I had no clue what that even meant.

My confusion continued as I tried to read more. The fake story disclaimer convention is hella confusing as an outsider, and my first impression was that turtles were kinda crazy. The videos I saw gave overviews of candies without context, and some of them explicitly said they were proof of Yizhan love while still having that fake story disclaimer. Basically, it was a big confusing environment, and it's why I resisted buying into bjyx so hard for so long. It all seemed delulu.

But in reading more, I guess part of that is the point? Recognizing that gg and dd are in a vulnerable position should their relationship ever come out, having so much noise to muddy the waters makes a twisted, clownish sense. I don't know who came up with that convention or if it just kinda happened (is it a normal thing in c-ent? I don't know enough about celebrity fandoms), but hats off, I guess.

With the supertopic recently hitting 4 million active fans, there's something heartening about such a depth of support for the guys. I'm not naive enough to think all 4 million (plus international fans) are allies to LGBT folk in general, but it surely means something to ggdd to have that sort of support for their relationship. Honestly, it means something to me, as a random gay chick on the other side of the world, to see a gay couple get that kinda of support behind them.

I started watching the bts because I was afraid there'd be a lot of cynical homophobia on the set or some evidence of all the male cast being icked out by the whole thing. Instead, I got gg, who was so passionate about WWX being gay. I love that everybody knew they were telling a love story with as explicitly as they could get away with. I love that the guys wanted more Wangxian scenes and that the cast and crew made "everyday is everyday" jokes in a non-mocking way. I'm glad that the whole shoot seemed like such a positive environment for the cast and crew to being themselves and tell a type of story that they may not be able to be involved with ever again.

So, yes, this is my zen turtle place. When I set up a soapbox for myself, I didn't think too much about the fact that people would respond, but I'm so grateful to have had a chance to talk to some other turtles! Everybody is lovely and thank you for sharing my enthusiasm.

Like I said in the beginning, I don't have the time to keep super-active in the long-term. I had intended to write up my thoughts and poof away. But I do also plan to keep up with gg and dd and turtles, so instead I'm just gonna leave off with the potential for further posts down the line.

I'm not gonna be incredibly active, so please don't expect frequent updates or interactions from me. But if I have more Yizhan thoughts I'll pop up again with a post (I mean, I do have lots more thoughts, but nothing energizing enough to write about), or I'll leave a comment somewhere if I have something I simply must say. I'm also open to responding to asks about the timeline or anything else. And if I ever do stumble across anything groundbreaking with regards to the timeline, I'll probably add that in, because I'm particular about things being complete.

So thanks for being so welcoming! It's been a joy to clown around and make up completely fictional stories with everybody here. 🤡🐢🙇🏼

[duckiemimi]

https://www.tumblr.com/jgnico/729415078056755200/stop-taking-nanamis-words-for-why-gojo-did-what

Hey mimi!! Hope ur having a nice day!! I really love your thoughts and metas its a very insightful!!! And ur fanfics god i hold them so tenderly in my hands each time i read them!! thank you for making them!! And i wanted to ask: whats your thoughts on this ?

i’m so sorry this reply is so late, i’ve been a little busy these days 😭 but i love this post so much! it’s so well-written and well-articulated!

most people in the story don’t understand gojo; the whole point of 236 was to hammer that home. gojo died misunderstood. (well—if you don’t count geto understanding him, i guess. and some of his students try to, his friends, too, but that’s besides the point. most people didn’t. doesn’t mean they were incapable of loving him, though.)

i understand nanami’s sentiments here. to nanami, gojo was the guy who could’ve solved everything, who could’ve prevented deaths, who could’ve prevented haibara’s death. to nanami, gojo was the embodiment of the system. of idle power. it’s a little similar to geto’s point of view in shinjuku: why the hell should he try and sympathize with someone who can do it all? gojo is different. he’s not like us.

really, i believe most of the characters in the story feel this way about him, this attitude of begrudging hope because though he is an enigma in their eyes, he is also a beacon of hope because if gojo exists, then a better world is possible. they see the idea of him before they see him for who he actually is. they see his dictated role before they see him.

but here’s the thing: gojo is readable to us. as readers of the story, we should be able to understand him and what motivates him, we should be able to understand his alienation and loneliness more than anyone in the story. because he is wholly readable and thus knowable, because we see the things the other characters don’t. we should know him by how he was written, not by other characters’ perception of him. that’s subsidiary.

(if anything, other than supplementary information on gojo, the characters’ opinions on him tell us more about them and the world they live in, not about gojo.)

i think this juxtaposition between the perception of gojo and just gojo himself is best shown in his conversation with geto. there, he talks about being familiar with isolation (his metaphorical infinity) and his longing to be understood. right after, nanami chimes in and offers his opinion about gojo. i do think the writing could’ve been done more effectively (after all, the chronology makes the scene a little confusing), but it’s still plainly written for us to read.

gojo’s efforts to better the system shouldn’t be wiped off the board just because nanami said he fought for fun. we know him, we’ve read him, we’ve witnessed him give second chances to kids who’ve lost hope. we’ve seen gojo’s care. i don’t think this is a case of just selfishness or just selflessness. don’t fall into the trap of black and white thinking.

gojo was jujutsu’s pillar. i imagine if you grow up with enough people telling you who you are—what you are, really—you’d start to internalize it and learn your role. to his core, gojo was a guy who never acknowledged his subconscious and what lay beneath it because of this. a mental infinity, a metaphorical infinity. almost there but not quite; he never got to the root of things, whether it be changing the system or figuring out why he was the way he was. he was never thorough. (isn’t that why “geto” came back anyway? because he didn’t “finish the job”?)

but, hey—his given name is satoru (enlightenment). perhaps there’s more to his story.

(or maybe he died in irony.)

[whisperofsong]

Pairing: Bob Floyd x Female Reader

Summary: Bob is willing to rearrange plans when you fall ill on your birthday.

Note: I was inspired to write this piece because today is my birthday and I’m sick.  As my mom told me, we all have our own methods for providing ourselves with comfort and writing about beloved Bob does just that for me💛  Thank you for supporting my writing!

____________________________________________

When your eyes flutter open on the day of your birthday, you instantly recognize that something is wrong.  Your throat feels tight and when you fetch a glass of water in an attempt to soothe it, it’s akin to swallowing shards of glass.  You wince and your shoulders slump because this can only mean one thing: you’re sick.  On your birthday.  

Fortunately, you had taken the day off from work ahead of time, so you don’t have to worry about that. Nevertheless, you’re disappointed because today is supposed to be a jubilant one; one that entails relaxation and celebration.  Not a day that includes being confined to your bed and feeling miserable.  As you return to your bedroom, you notice a folded note sitting on your nightstand.  It reads, Happy Birthday, Y/N.  I wish I could stay at home with you, but I guess I’ll have to settle for spending this evening with you.  I love you and can’t wait to celebrate the special woman you are.  Love, Bob.

You release a defeated sigh because although it’s your day, Bob is even more excited about it than you.  He’s been discussing it for months, hinting at several surprises, but never giving away too much despite your frequent pestering for information.  Now the day is ruined and the irony of it all is that you’re the one who ruined your own birthday.  

After forcing some food into your system, you get dressed and drive to urgent care.  While it’s only fifteen minutes away, the drive feels endless as achiness settles into your legs.  An hour later, you leave the facility with a positive result for strep throat and a prescription for potent antibiotics.  The line at the pharmacy is lengthy, so you couldn’t be more relieved when it’s finally your turn and your prescription is filled within ten minutes.

Once you arrive home and have taken your first dose of the antibiotics, you consider texting Bob, but decide against it.  Bob is a devoted and doting boyfriend, always seeking ways to console, encourage, and support you.  However, news like this will likely consume him for the remainder of the day, meaning that it could serve as a major distraction at work.  The last thing you want is for Bob’s focus to be compromised, resulting in a trip to the emergency room.  Instead, you decide to nestle under your plush comforter and close your eyes for a little while.

When you wake up, your eyes widen at the realization that you slept for almost four hours. You likely would have slept longer if it weren’t for your clammy skin and the persistent achiness in your lower half. You rifle through the tiny closet in your bathroom until you locate the thermometer, which reveals you have a fever of 101.6.  Yikes. You take some medicine, hoping that it will reduce your fever before Bob returns because you don’t want him to see you in this state.  You look and feel awful.

You try to pass the time by scrolling on various social media apps on your phone and reading a couple of magazines, but your body betrays you as your eyes grow heavy. While you try to fight it, determined to stay awake, you eventually lose the battle and succumb to slumber.  You dream of dinner with Bob, holding hands as you each enjoy a glass of wine, laughing about things only the two of you would understand.  Visions of you two stealing kisses in his truck, his arm securely wrapped around your shoulder while you slightly tug on the hair at his nape, dance in your mind. The dream is perfect and feels so real that you’re somewhat startled when you’re awoken by the closing of the front door.

“Where’s the birthday girl?”  Bob’s exuberant voice echoes through the house and your heart aches at the sound of it. You want to respond, but are incapable of projecting your voice and don’t want to strain it.

“Y/N?” Bob calls once more before you hear the thumping of his feet on the carpeted stairs as he makes his way to your shared bedroom.  His smile immediately falls upon seeing you in bed, looking ashen and depleted.

“What’s wrong?” He approaches you and positions himself on the edge of the bed, laying his hand atop yours that is hidden by the comforter.

You hoist yourself up and wince at how much effort it takes to do so.  The concern reflected in his eyes only increases, thereby causing you to feel worse.  “I didn’t feel well when I woke up this morning, so I went to urgent care and found out I have strep throat.  I picked up the medicine for it, but don’t feel a difference yet.  I also have a fever.”

“Oh, baby.  I’m so sorry.”  Bob sits forward and gingerly cups your cheek in his warm, wide palm.  “What do you need?  A drink?  A cool washcloth to bring your temperature down?  I can make you soup if you’re hun-“

Your sudden flow of tears interrupts Bob’s endearing rambling.  “Baby, why you are crying?” he asks in a voice laced with genuine concern.

You shake your head, your melancholia constricting your throat, making it challenging to speak. You turn your head because you’re embarrassed to be this emotional, especially when he’s being so kind.  However, Bob will have none of it.  You feel his fingertips upon your chin as he says, “Please look at me, Y/N.  You can tell me anything.”  When you finally look at him, you’re met with reassuring eyes, eyes that want what’s best for you.

“I feel so badly, Bob. We’ve both been looking forward to this for months and-“  Snot trickles from your nose, but before you can get a tissue, Bob is ahead of you as he returns with the entire box and holds one out for you with an understanding smile.  You give him an appreciative one and blow your nose before continuing.  “You’ve been especially enthusiastic about celebrating this birthday with me as it’s our first time celebrating as boyfriend and girlfriend and I can’t help but feel…”  You momentarily drift off, reluctant to say the last part aloud.

“Can’t help but feel what?” he prompts.

A sigh escapes you and although you’re tempted to avoid making eye contact with him, you force yourself to meet his gaze.  “I can’t help but feel that I ruined it.  I ruined my own birthday.  I ruined our first opportunity to celebrate it as a couple.  Worst of all, I ruined it for you.”  You sniffle a few times and wipe away the stray tears that begin to travel down your face.

Bob gently takes both of your hands in his own.  “First of all, you haven’t ruined anything.  It’s not your fault you’re sick.  Second of all, today isn’t about me.  Yes, I had some things planned, but plans are bound to change.  That’s part of life.  All this means is that I get to celebrate my best girl another time, on a day that she’s feeling up for it.”

“You’re not…upset with me?”

“Gosh no,” he exhales. “I’m upset for you because you deserve a day that reminds you of the beautiful, intelligent, loving, and special woman that you are to me and so many others that are privileged to be in your life.”

You squeeze his hands and he returns the gesture while his eyes are fixated on you.  “Now, how about some chicken noodle soup?”

“Yes, please,” you reply in a grateful voice.  He presses a lingering kiss on your warm forehead.  “Coming right up,” he answers.

A half hour later, Bob is carrying a tray into your bedroom, the steam from the bowl on it permeating the air.  It also contains a tall glass of water with a bendy straw.  He must notice you eyeing it because he explains, “I figured it may be easier to sip with a straw.”  He carefully places the tray on top of you and folds the napkin on your lap.

“Wait…is this homemade chicken noodle soup?” you ask.

“It is.  You can have the canned stuff any other day of the year, but your birthday calls for something more festive.”

“Thank you, Bob. You’re so thoughtful,” you tell him as you caress his cheek, adoringly staring at the man who owns a significant piece of your heart.

“Anything for my girl.”  He scoops some of the soup with a spoon and feeds you.  You would normally protest such a thing, but realize that while Bob is doing this to comfort you, it also comforts him to know that he’s able to take care of you in a small way.  Therefore, you refuse to deny him of such a thing.  The soup soothes your throat and tastes just as wonderful as it did the last time Bob made it for the two of you.  

Once you finish your soup and Bob takes everything downstairs, he climbs into bed beside you and pulls you to his chest.  He buries his face into your neck and peppers it with slow, tender kisses that cause your entire body to relax while ensconced in his arms.  You turn your head and whisper, “You’re so good to me, Bob.”

“How can I not be?” he asks.  “You’re so good to me.”  He begins to lean down to kiss you on the lips, but you rest your palm on his chest to prevent him from going further.  

“What are you doing? You’re going to get yourself sick.”

“And deprive myself of kissing you?  I’ll gladly take the risk, Y/N.”

Despite being ill, his lips on yours feel right.  If someone had told you weeks ago that this is how you would be spending your anticipated birthday, you would have been forlorn.  However, as you bask in the safety and happiness of your boyfriend’s arms, disappointment is a foreign feeling because you can’t imagine a love greater than this.

 @bradshawsbaby @gretagerwigsmuse @roosterforme @luminousnotmatter @bobfloydsbabe @sebsxphia @mothdruid @dhwanishah09 @ghxst-heart @rhettabbotts

[pengweng-quack]

Bloodbound

Carlisle Cullen x Human!OC

Summary: Place Carlisle in the Edward situation of falling in love with a human, and see what happens

Chapter 5/?

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7

Notes:

This is on Ao3 under the same title and username if you'd like to read it there (https://archiveofourown.org/works/54527830)

I was on vacation that's why posting was delayed in both here and Ao3 lol

Leave your thoughts (or don't, your choice) in the comments, I enjoy reading through your thoughts :)

Word Count: 2622 words

General warning: I used some religious references in this story so read with caution if you're not so keen into reading that

TW for this chapter: thoughts about insecurities

PM or Comment to be added on the taglist for this one!

Masterlist

“What do you mean?” Carlisle asked, threading carefully on what will happen next

“You’re not human.” Celine concluded with Carlisle not answering her question immediately “What are you?”

“My love…” Carlisle started, looking at her, but he was met with no kind of adoration in her eyes anymore “Yes, I am not human. But I do not intend on harming you.”

“I know.” Celine said, the glint of calmness was now back in her eyes “I just need to know what you are. For my peace of mind, I guess.”

“You’ll either laugh or get extremely concerned if I tell you what I actually am.” He whispered lowly, ashamed of himself

“A vampire?” Celine asked him again

“How did you know?” Carlisle asked almost immediately. He looked at Celine, realizing that she didn’t actually know and that it was just a rough guess that he confirmed.

“A vampire? In a hospital?” Celine asked her, her eyebrows furrowed at the irony of it. There were so many questions running in her mind

“I-I have to go.” Carlisle answered, standing up and picking up his clothes, quickly wearing his shirt and rushing out of her house to his car

‘She knows’ Carlisle was panicking as he drove off back to their house. Thoughts swirled chaotically in his mind, making it impossible for him to think straight. He hit his steering wheel in anger before driving back home in silence, his grip on the steering wheel painfully tight

“Celine knows.” Edward announced to everyone, carefully reading Carlisle’s thoughts

“What do you mean, ‘she knows’? We were careful with it.” Rosalie asked her

“We were careful, Carlisle probably wasn’t.” Edward continued in conclusion “I tried telling you that this was the same as with me and Bella before, but no one believed me.”

“Will we have to move?” Renesmee asked

“No, no. Carlisle will decide on that.” Bella assured her “Besides, we can’t move yet, you need to finish your high school.”

“Well, with what’s happening, we might have to.” Rosalie said, sitting down on one of their couches

“I’m sure Carlisle will have an explanation.” Esme said, trying to calm everyone down. She was just as nervous; would they really just leave Celine like that?

“She figured it out on her own.” Edward said, reading into her mind “She’s not mad. Actually, she’s driving to our place now, at an incredibly dangerous but legal speed. Celine wants to chat with Carlisle.”

“Carlisle left her?” Emmett asked “Weren’t they just having sex earlier?”

“Emmett!” Edward yelled, covering Renesmee’s ears as she laughs at their antics

“My question still stands. Weren’t they just doing something earlier?” Emmett said, chuckling as Renesmee lightly slaps Edward’s hand off her, wanting to listen to what was happening

“Yeah, she’s kind of annoyed about that. But she’s more annoyed that Carlisle just ran away.” Edward said, still reading into Celine’s mind

“Couldn’t even wait until she fell asleep.” Rosalie said, playfully rolling her eyes

“So, you’re warming up to her now?” Jasper asked, teasing her lightly

“I mean, you heard Alice.” Rosalie shrugged “One way or another, she’s gonna be a vampire. We only prevented that rogue vampire from doing it early on.”

“You just want her to not jump first into being one of us?” Bella asked her, knowing and understanding what Rosalie now meant when she was still human

“She’s smart, she would think of the consequences first.” Esme said, already having heard stories about Celine from Carlisle “Besides, Carlisle won’t push her into that.”

“Carlisle is—

“I fucked up.” Carlisle announced, rushing in the house. All of them yelled and closed their eyes, having just seen him in his boxers

“Carlisle, go wear something!” Esme scolded, getting Carlisle to rush up to his room and get dressed into something more casual

“He technically told Celine that we’re vampires.” Edward told everyone as he rushes down the stairs

“Did you even see her reaction?” Jasper asked, Carlisle only shook his head no

“Well now you will, because she’s outside the house.” Jasper said, opening the main door of their house, seeing Celine

“You didn’t tell me that your house was very cold.” Celine said as a greeting to everyone, shivering from the coldness

“Come, let’s talk in my office. Then I’ll introduce you to my family.” Carlisle said, walking to her and taking her hand, leading her to his office

“What now?” Celine asks, rubbing her hands together in an attempt to warm her down. Carlisle immediately grabbed the hanged coat in his office and placed it on her shoulder. The sight of her in his clothes warming him up a bit

“I don’t know.” Carlisle muttered lowly “What do you want now?”

“Well,” Celine said, sitting on the table of his office “I’m not scared that you’re a vampire, if you’re worried about that. And I don’t plan to make that this week’s hospital gossip too, if you’re somehow more worried about that.”

“Thank heavens.” Carlisle let out a big sigh

“Why?” Celine asked him “Is it like a vampire law to not let any non-vampires know about your existence?”

“Kind of, it’s tough to explain.” Carlisle answered, moving closer to her. He knows that he won’t do much help with her being cold, he just wanted to be near her

The silence between the two was comforting but nerve-wracking. Carlisle couldn’t figure out what was going on Celine’s mind 

‘Probably filled with calling me a monster’ a part of his mind said to him

“I think you owe me the truth.” Celine whispered softly, looking at him with a smile “The whole truth, no more of that weird ex-girlfriend stuff. Because you and I both know that that was a very shit lie.”

“Where do you want to start then?” Carlisle asked, walking and grabbing some chairs for her to sit on

“How old are you?” Celine immediately asked, sitting down on the chair that he offered to her

“You have to be a bit more specific than that, my love.” Carlisle chuckled softly, joining her in sitting down

“All of your ages then.” She told him. Her eyes had this twinkle of curiosity, wanting to know more about him

“Well, I was 23 or so when I was turned into a vampire.” He answered, as Celine furrowed her eyebrows, he took it as a sign to continue “It was the 1600’s, we didn’t have a really good date tracking date by then.”

“You’re roughly 300 years old.” Celine said, a shock on her face

“382 to be exact.” Carlisle revealed, getting him to shy away. 

‘Now it looks creepy’ he thought to himself, watching her reactions

“Wow, never thought I’d date that old.” Celine teased him, getting him to let out a sigh of relief

“To be fair, you are already four years older than me in a sense.” He tried to tease her, letting out a small laugh

“I’m four years older than you and 350 years younger than you at the same time. I wish I could say that the math isn’t mathing but it is.” She said, a smile resting on her face.

And Carlisle could only wish that he could freeze the moment between them, take a picture of them and engrave it in his mind, a memory that would remind him of their short-term happiness.

Because who would choose an eternity of being stuck the way you are?

“Esme is 127, Edward and Alice are 121, Rosalie and Emmett are 107, and Jasper is 178 but he’s the last to join us alongside Alice, minus Bella.” Carlisle continued introducing his family

“Bella? As in Bella Swan? As in the chief’s daughter?” Celine asked as ne nodded in response

“She’s with Edward, she’s 35.” Carlisle continued “And the youngest, Renesmee, she’s 16. Edward and Bella’s daughter.”

“So, humans and vampires can procreate too?” Celine asked lowly

“Yeah, but if you think that I’m only pursuing you for that, then you’ve got it all wrong.” He immediately assured her

“Then why pursue me?” Celine asked, looking at him, her eyes begging him for an answer

As Carlisle gazed at Celine, a profound sense of sorrow washed over him. The weight of her pain and self-doubt bore heavily upon his heart, stirring a deep well of empathy within him. He longed to ease her burden, to carry her suffering as his own. Carlisle realized that she always doubted herself underneath the confident aura, thinking that she was worth nothing if she couldn't bear a child.

“Because my heart belongs to you. I belong to you.” Carlisle answered as he stood up, his hands cupping her cheeks and leaving a peck on her forehead

Celine wiped the tears threatening off her face. Never has she felt so loved until now, until with Carlisle. He hugged her, thinking that the tears coming out of her were tears of sadness, of disappointment with herself.

“You’re so kind to me.” Celine mumbled, wrapping her arms around him

They stayed in that moment. Celine has never thought to feel this way so easily about a man, it’s like she was drawn to him. It was as though the universe had conspired to craft their love story, aligning the stars to guide them together.

He was made for her.

“Are you two good now?” A brown-haired woman asked, checking in the office. She was jaw-droppingly gorgeous, getting Celine to subtly feel inferior to her

‘Why did Carlisle not end up with her?’ She questioned to herself

“We are, Esme. Just needed to collect ourselves.” Carlisle answered to her, wiping off the tear stains before leaving small kisses on the apples of her cheek 

“Good, your kids are dying to meet her.” Esme said, a smile on her face.

She was gorgeous, her brown hair rested nicely on her shoulders, her eyes held the same golden shade that Carlisle had. Esme had this maternal aura around her, subtly informing Celine that the Cullens is in no need of a mother figure to fill in

‘Then what am I here for then?’ Celine questioned to herself, stopping her face from forming a frown

“Well, since you’re here.” Carlisle said, motioning Celine to come closer to him “My love, this is Esme. My sister.”

“Hi, I’m Celine!” Celine greeted her with a smile and a small wave. Carlisle instinctively placed his arms around her shoulders, pulling her closer to him. Esme immediately liked her energy.

Celine was a fresh breath on a warm day, the one that feels like you’re being lifted by the wind itself.

“We’ve heard a lot about you.” Esme said, opening the door a bit wider for them to go out of “Come, I’m sure the kids would love to meet you.”

“Rosalie is kind of…iffy with you right now. But she’ll come around.” Carlisle warned as they walked out the room. There were seven looking adults, all looking and watching them as they come down the stairs

“Everyone,” Carlisle said as they get down the last step of the stairs “This is Celine.”

“Hi!” A girl with a pixie cut greeted. Celine couldn’t help but notice how she was towered by everyone else in the room “I’m Alice! I’ve seen this happen.”

“Alice, don’t—

“Oh, it’s alright.” Celine assured to the guy with brown hair, a face that was vaguely familiar to her “After finding out that vampires are real, what more is there to limit the imagination?”

“I’m Bella.” Bella introduced herself “Though I know you already know that, seeing as I remember seeing you grow up.”

‘At least there’s a familiar face’ she thought, letting out a small sigh of relief

“You make it weird saying it like that.” Another guy with brown hair teased Bella. He was really buff, getting Celine to be intimidated “Emmett by the way. This is my wife, Rosalie.”

The woman that Emmett pointed at, Rosalie, only looked at her. A face that Celine can’t seem to figure out what it was saying to her. Rosalie was drop dead gorgeous, any insecurity that she felt earlier to Esme was now tripled in Rosalie’s presence. Her gold hair, which was tied up in a ponytail right now, shone golden.

‘I don’t belong here’ her mind cruelly told her

“Babe, don’t do this now, please?” Emmett said to his wife, rubbing her shoulders to try and calm her down

“It’s fine. Must be unusual having a human be over casually.” Celine assured them again.

‘Who am I to complain about their behavior?’ she thought to herself

“I’m Edward, Bella’s husband.” Edward, the guy that tried to stop Alice earlier, introduced himself “And this is our daughter Renesmee.”

Renesmee waved her hand at Celine cheerfully. Whatever kind of nervousness she got from Rosalie was relieved with Renesmee. She was a walking sunshine.

“I’m Jasper.” A blond guy, Jasper, said with a small wave. He shared the same hair color as Rosalie did, though his was just above his collar “Pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Pleasure to meet you too.” Celine said to everyone

Celine felt awkward with everyone’s eyes on her, getting a feeling that she wouldn’t fit in their perfectly made illusion of a family. It was making Celine feel pity for herself.

“Carlisle, have you told her?” Edward asked quietly

“Tell me what?” She asked instead of Carlisle

“My kids…” Carlisle started slowly “Some of them have special gifts. Edward can telepathically read minds, Alice can see into the future, Jasper can control emotions, Bella can block Edward’s telepathy and basically anything that is of the using of mind, and Renesmee can transmit thoughts to others.”

“So—

“I didn’t intend to, but it was practically just yelling.” Edward confirmed her suspicion, getting Celine to push her lips in a thin line and just nod in response

“I do not plan into turning you into a vampire—

“Thank you.” Celine said, looking at Carlisle “I’d love to do some thinking first before making a final decision.”

“What?” Bella asked, her eyes widened at Celine

“It won’t be an easy transition for me.” Celine answered, looking at Bella “It may have worked out for you, but it wouldn’t immediately work out for me.”

“I would understand if you also would want to go back to how we were.” She continued, now turning her attention to Carlisle “Seeing as I’m technically rejecting you now.”

“Oh no, I don’t see that as a rejection.” Carlisle said, shaking his head no to her “Even if for a short while, I would love to be given a chance to pursue you. To make you feel loved and appreciated.”

‘It will be more than enough for me to carry for eternity’ Carlisle wanted to add. He looked at Edward and slightly shook his head no, asking him to not say what his thoughts wanted to

“Are you sure?” Celine asked him again

“Of course.” Carlisle answered almost immediately, a comforting smile on his face

“Then, I think a second date should be in the talks soon.” Celine said, kissing Carlisle’s cheek before walking to the front door

“It’s been an honor to meet you all.” She said, looking around the family that was watching her “I would assume that it won’t be the last time we’ll see each other.”

Celine walked out and closed the door behind her. The family was listening intently for her car to leave before even thinking of saying their thoughts out loud

“…I think that went well.” Esme said, her hand clasped together and her lips pushed in a thin line “It didn’t, that was shit.” Rosalie said, shaking her head no at Esme “At least she wasn’t jumping headfirst into being a vampire.”

[archiveikemen]

'Secret In Your Heart' Collection Event

William Rex

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by playing their games and buying stories. Not 100% accurate, expect mistakes.

read this before interacting with my posts

A party was to be held at the palace and many important members of high society were invited, making it an opportunity to interact with prominent political figures.

While playing with my hair on the bed, Will told me that he was invited.

William: Such events only look glamorous on the surface. But under that facade, they’re a mix of love, hatred, and plots.

William: I’m worried about whether you’ll be able to survive.

Kate: You will also be in danger, right?

Kate: In that case, I don't have the option to refuse attendance.

William: … Fufu, you’re a brave knight.

Kate: I can’t allow anyone to steal my precious King away from me.

…

And that’s why I attended the party on high alert.

I paid close attention to the hidden motives behind the peaceful conversations around me, while maintaining a smile on my face.

Sharp-Eyed Gentleman: Earl Rex — you should take good care of your valuables.

William: … Thank you for the piece of advice. May you not lose anything as well.

Will exchanged words with a gentleman who approached him while passing by.

The gentleman walked away after shooting as a meaningful glance, Will then leaned towards me and whispered in my ear.

William: Do you understand what he meant?

Kate: … I’m guessing that he meant “if we let our guards down, both of us will have something precious to us stolen”.

William: You’ve gotten better at understanding irony. Your answer is mostly correct.

William: However… this matter concerns someone else.

Kate: Huh…?

William: What do you think is precious to me?

(Something precious to Will…)

Kate: … Freedom?

William: … Pfft, ahahaha

William: Indeed, you’re right, Kate.

William: Keep an eye on me so my freedom won't be taken away.

(My response was probably… incorrect.)

(What could be “valuable” to William…? He’s not the type of person who gets attached to material things.)

While I was deep in thought about it, there was some bustling coming from the table a little distance away from us.

(What?)

I reflexively hid Will behind my back.

Sharp-Eyed Gentleman: Ugh, Urgh…!?

The gentleman suddenly turned pale and left the venue.

Kate: … What’s going on?

William: Now…

William: Do you see what he "left behind"?

…

Kate: Sigh… I’m glad nothing happened in the end.

A sudden wave of tiredness washed over me when we returned to the castle, and I plopped myself down onto the bed.

William: Yeah. “Nothing happened”, indeed.

(... Hm?)

Kate: Are you trying to imply something?

William: … I forgot how sharp your instincts have become.

Kate: What is it? Did something actually happen?

William: Nothing. All I did was protect what’s precious to me.

Kate: Protect…? Are you saying that something was targeted?

William: Yeah. My adorable, lovely, shield.

Kate: … Me?

William: You should be prouder of yourself than this, Kate.

William: Whenever you hear the question “what’s precious to me (William)”, your immediate answer should be that it’s you.

Kate: What do mean by… I was being targeted? When? By who?

William: The man who told me to “take care of my valuables”.

William: For quite some time, he’s been going around expressing his displeasure about me being in Her Majesty’s favour.

Kate: Then why did he turn pale and leave in a hurry…?

William: When he passed by, I did a little something to the glass he was holding.

(Wha…)

William: Ah, it's nothing that will put his life in danger.

William: However, because he left in the middle of an important party, he lost his reputation.

Will made an unbelievable revelation.

(I thought that I was protecting him… but he was actually protecting me.)

Moreover, he went as far as to spike that man’s drink with some drug without even laying a finger on him.

William: Haven't I told you before that I will protect you from anyone and anything that targets “you”?

William: I played a little prank on the fool who objectified my lover and so carelessly declared that he wanted to steal her from me.

I was happy to know that he was protecting me from harm.

It could've been fatal if he were to make a mistake in the drug dosage, what he did was so extreme… but it was easy to brush off that guilt.

Kate: You did that without it being part of an official mission… won’t you be in trouble if it's found out that you were the culprit?

There was a flame of mischief burning in Will’s red eyes—

William: Yeah. That’s why the truth is a secret between us.

He held an index finger over his lips with a bewitching smile.

Kate: … You’re evil.

William: What, you didn't already know?

I couldn't contain my laughter at his total lack of remorse.

Kate: Fufu, I knew.

Kate: Thank you for protecting me, Will.

William: Shhh… I told you it’s a secret.

Kate: No one but you can hear me right now. … Should I say that even louder?

William: … And if I choose to take that as you’re indirectly asking for a kiss?

Instead of giving him a verbal response, I put my arms around his neck.

And everything that happened afterwards was a secret between the two of us.

[logically-asexual]

I’m losing by his side

summary:

Nathalie meets Betterfly! they have a long conversation and she deals with some conflicting emotions.

Title from I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski

word count: 4,510

Read on AO3

Nathalie wasn’t asleep yet, but she was still annoyed by the noise of her phone ringing. Whatever Gabriel wanted at this time of the night, or rather, morning, could wait until after the sun had come out, or he could forget about it. She hung up before resuming her reading. At least she tried to do so, but as much as she stared at the text on the pages, she couldn’t process any meaning from it.

Her last hope for enjoying the last few hours of the night by herself was soon vanished by the man himself barging into her bedroom. It was true that she wasn’t in the mood to see Gabriel, but the fact that it was Monarch standing now in her room wasn’t at all better. He must have been enraged to stomp through the house without even reversing the transformation. At least he didn’t forget to close the door of her bedroom and forced her to get up and stumble over there to do it herself. Hopefully Adrien didn’t see anything.

He interrupted before she could voice any question or complaint, demanding to know why she hadn’t answered his calls. So keeping this form was intentional, Nathalie thought. He wanted to scare her. Unfortunately for him she had never fallen for that, and now wouldn’t be any different.

“Sir, it’s the middle of the night. Why can’t you just let me rest?”

She knew he had been down with Emilie since earlier, after Nathalie had arrived home from the train and came upstairs. He had said he would see if he could get something useful out of the kwamis, but she could guess now by his apparent frustration that he didn’t.

“This is important, Nathalie. Some miraculous holders from a parallel universe crossed a portal here and they—“

Nathalie was convinced he was losing his mind. “I don’t want to hear about it, Gabriel!”

“Well you could at least answer your phone so I know you’re alive!”

Oh, so now he was pretending it was just concern for her health, but she knew the truth. She knew that if he really cared about her he would have fixed everything when he had the chance.

“I already told you I’m fine. I don’t need your help and I’m not helping you with this either.” She ignored the irony of her saying that while still reclined on the bed, too weak to stand up so she could at least face him closer to eye level.

“Nathalie, you have to understand—“

“No, you’re wrong. You betrayed me, Gabriel, you betrayed Emilie and all for—“

“How dare you.” Gone was the bargaining phase as rage overtook his expression again. “You know everything I’ve done is for her, you’ll take that back.”

“No.”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow and dropped the pitch of his voice even further. The calm but threatening tone admittedly made Nathalie more nervous than his explosive anger before, but she stayed firm.

“I said no.”

“It seems you have forgotten your place, Ms Sancoeur. I tell you what to do,” he grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him, forcing her to keep eye contact, “and then you do it.” With his free hand, he slammed his fist into her bedside table, which caused the lamp and a vase to fall and shatter on the floor. “Do you understand?” he yelled.

The noise made her flinch, but she looked up again when another crash came from her window. A superhero she hadn’t seen before was standing in her room. He was dressed in a light purple suit with a matching cape and mask.

“Let go of her!” the man ordered and pointed at Monarch with his cane.

“I don’t have time for this,” Monarch groaned, but he pulled away. He turned his head at the door with the restlessness that characterized the recognition of a negative emotion somewhere.

Before Monarch could call the transformation for any of the other kwamis or otherwise make a move, the superhero moved quickly to kick him in the stomach. Then, while he gasped for air, the man took Nathalie in his arms and jumped with her back out the window.

Everything happened so fast, she was barely beginning to process it when he was helping her sit down on a bench. There was something familiar in the position of his hands around her and in the way he knelt in front of her afterwards.

“Sorry,” he said, “I was in the middle of something else when I heard a crash and I had to step in when I saw it was a villain. Are you ok?”

Nathalie heard the question, but her focus was elsewhere. “You have the butterfly miraculous.”

He seemed a little surprised that that was what had her attention. “I do.”

“But— But that’s impossible.”

“I should introduce myself,” his voice was impossibly calm, compared to her own uneasiness. “I am Betterfly. I am the holder of the butterfly miraculous in a different universe than yours. It’s a pleasure.”

He smiled at her, then he took Nathalie’s hand and kissed it the same way Gabriel did when he met a woman he respected. She felt embarrassed at the action, since she certainly didn’t consider herself on the same rank as them.

“I came here through a portal to seek help from your Ladybug and Cat Noir. We’re currently trying to track their iterations from my universe, who followed me here, but we seem to have lost them.”

He looked around, as if searching for clues, but the city was dead quiet. They were in a park, she only now noticed, and the only sound came from the leaves shifting with the wind.

Nathalie took a moment to take it all in. Apparently Monarch had been right about the parallel universe. After everything they had been through the past year, she guessed this wasn’t that unbelievable.

She looked closely at Betterfly. The resemblance to Hawk Moth’s costume was clear, but every edge was rounder and every color lighter. The smaller mask letting strands of silver hair move freely with the breeze also added to the gentleness of his appearance. And his eyes… Nathalie couldn’t hold his gaze for long because the look in them was just… overwhelming.

“You’re one of them? The heroes?” was all she could come up with.

Now he was the one who looked embarrassed. “I guess you could say that. I’m just one man trying to do what I think is best.” He smiled again.

She knew that smile, but she had never seen it so often. Not since Emilie… was gone.

If they were parallel universes, this one and wherever he came from, and both butterfly holders were already opposite in their roles, could they be similar in other ways?

Examining his face, she let her curiosity win and asked, “Gabriel?”

Betterfly’s eyes widened slightly before he turned away. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten off topic. Are you sure you’re alright? Is there anything I can do?”

His reaction was confirmation enough that Nathalie was right, yet this just opened so many more questions.

“I’m fine,” she answered. “I just have some… communication issues.”

He moved to sit down on the bench next to her. She was thankful for that, but it still gave her the impression of some sort of therapy session starting.

“Was that Gabriel Agreste’s house, the designer?”

She would indulge his pretense that the disguise was still working, if it made conversing easier for him. She nodded and clarified that she was his executive assistant.

“And you live there?”

The arrangement looked weird to outsiders, she was aware of that, but it was necessary for her to be able to do everything her job involved, including the parts of it that weren’t public, which only made it sound worse. At least now she could blame it on her disability, that her life was easier without a daily commute. She should move out soon, now that she could walk by herself with the help of the device, but she couldn’t leave Adrien and, well, most of the memories of her adult life behind just like that.

“I do,” she simply stated. “Mr. Agreste’s workplace is there so that’s where I work as well.” Eager to shift the attention away from her living situation, she asked, “Is that not my job in your world?”

Betterfly looked down at the ground with what Nathalie could identify as remorse. “From what I can tell, Gabriel and you don’t really… talk much.”

Nathalie wondered what the story behind that could be. Had he also hurt Nathalie but at least had the decency to regret it? Her Gabriel only felt guilty about one thing, and he would probably betray her trust in him a hundred times over if he had to.

Her expression might have given away some of her anger, because the superhero now also seemed curious about her relationship with her boss.

“Do you, um…”

Before he could figure out how to formulate the question, she interrupted him. “We don’t talk much anymore either.”

A slight disappointment in his face somehow felt like a heavy weight pressing against her lungs. The way his open eyes were like invitations for her to look deep into his mind made her uncomfortable. She had gotten used to reading Gabriel’s thoughts through the subtlest movement of his wrinkles, not to have them exposed for anyone to see. It was a skill she had developed through the years, and yet her boss kept surprising her.

What if her own Gabriel did share this one’s emotions, and just didn’t show it? Was that too hopeful to think? It probably was. Either way it was clear that he was hurting now worse than ever before and still wished she could help him.

“Mr. Agreste has just been going through a lot since… well, ever since his wife…”

“Passed.”

“Disappeared,” she automatically corrected.

Now he was the one with a knowing look, trying to express that he could see through her denial.

Maybe he was right to accept it. During that phone call earlier, when Gabriel told her he lost the pocket watch, it felt not only like losing Emilie all over again, but like this time she was gone for real. It would be harder to keep up the pretense after that, no matter what Gabriel would say. However, Nathalie wasn’t sure she was ready to grieve, not all alone like this.

As she thought about Emilie the heavy sensation on her chest expanded upwards, now forming a knot on her throat. Liquid was also starting to gather in the corners of her eyes. Betterfly took a handkerchief out from his suit and offered it to her. She took it, but kept it in her fist while she tried to pull herself back together.

“What about Monarch?” Betterfly kindly attempted to change the topic. “Do you know him? I know that the holder of my miraculous here doesn’t have the best intentions. Are you sure you’re not in any kind of danger?”

Probably not any more than the fact that her days were already counted, but she didn’t want to worry this poor guy with that.

Normally Nathalie would be defensive with an interrogation like this, but after seeing what he saw, she understood that he could be concerned. It must be a shock to find that the same power that you wield could be used for completely different purposes, especially if they go against your own values.

Or maybe they didn’t. Nathalie didn’t know this Gabriel well yet, but were the same person, after all, only… shaped by different circumstances.

The question then pricked her brain. Did he know they were the same person? He had no reason to know, unless he assumed that was the case the same way Nathalie did. Would he even want to know?

“Monarch…” she sighed. “Like I said, he’s going through a lot.”

Her admission was clear enough, going by the way his eyes widened and his sharp intake of air. The reaction didn’t go further than that, and considering how expressive this man had been until now, she assumed his surprise wasn’t too strong. Maybe he had suspected it and just needed confirmation.

Nathalie didn’t want to get into Gabriel’s criminal actions and his motivations, or her own as his partner, so before Betterfly could ask any questions she spoke.

“You seem happy, though.”

He definitely smiles more. Still, earlier he couldn’t have just guessed Emilie was dead here out of nowhere. He must have known because she died there, too. If so, how were the circumstances different in order to produce such different results?

A shadow forming over his eyes contradicted her. “Not everything is great where I come from. In fact, I find your world to be quite lovely. Your heroes are strong and kind, and they have the support of the people. From what Ladybug told me, before they were stolen, the miraculous’ power was shared with others and used for the greater good!”

Very different results, indeed.

“Back home,” he continued, “there’s an entity that hoards all the power of the miraculous, which is kept secret from most of the population. I’m trying the best I can to stop him, but I’m all alone. I’ve also made a lot of mistakes which I’m not proud of, but I find peace knowing that I’m fighting for what I believe is right. All I have is the hope that we can build a better world for everyone. I have to hold on to it.”

“I wish I was strong enough to do the same,” she confessed. “It’s tough to maintain hope when all seems lost.”

“I didn’t say it was easy. I struggled a lot at first. I felt like I was drowning and nothing could bring me to the surface. Trying to swim would only make it worse. Then I realized that the only way out was through, and that if I wasn’t the one to step up then… no one else would.”

Ladybug and Cat Noir were already fighting Monarch. It was their job, not Nathalie’s, but… Despite not having yet lost their miraculous, they also hadn’t defeated Monarch. Recently Nathalie wondered sometimes if she should do something, if she would be the one to make a difference. But she couldn’t bring herself to do anything. She didn’t want Adrien to lose his father and a part of her didn’t want to lose Gabriel, either.

Besides, her lack of success with Hawk Moth showed that any attempt from her at supporting the other party would definitely end in disappointment.

“What if it’s not that simple? What if you just keep failing?”

“You know… It’s been a while but the Nathalie I knew never gave up. No task ever seemed impossible in her hands.”

Her cheeks felt suddenly too warm against the cold night air. His expression lightened back up at her blush. She would have liked to mirror him, but she still didn’t feel well enough.

“What if the task is fighting against the fabric of the universe?”

“Well, then… maybe it’s just as brave to know when to change targets.” He put his hand on top of hers, which was resting on her lap. “After losing my wife I realized that my motivation couldn’t be a desire for revenge or to bring her back. I needed to focus on what I really needed, and what would ultimately do good.”

Nathalie had thought at the beginning that what they were doing was for the best. Emilie was good for her family, for the world. She was kind and loving. She was an inspiration, not only for Nathalie and Gabriel but for anyone who met her. It would certainly have been good for Adrien if they had been able to stop the illness before… before it killed her.

“How can you know for sure what that is?”

“I can’t, but I know it’s not what The Supreme is doing; hoarding the miraculous, hiding them from the world, enslaving the kwamis, and forcing innocent people into a battle that isn’t theirs. People who do know about his abuse are too afraid to face him, but I have faith that with my power I can change their minds, so we can all build a better world together.”

Everything seemed a lot more intense in the other universe. Monarch did hoard miraculous and terrorize a city but it had started with a simple goal. The wish wasn’t supposed to directly affect anyone’s lives except from avoiding the ruin of his and his son’s. Now his goal was even more inconsequential, ridiculous even, since he was obsessed with a vendetta against two random teenagers. Of course stopping this whole fiasco would be good, but in the end all Nathalie wanted was to have a normal life again.

“I don’t have such big aspirations.” She had never been an outstanding person, after all. “I guess all I want is to be able to help the people around me be happy again, even if it’s not the most heroic thing to do.”

“I disagree.”

His hand above her tightened a little, reminding her of its presence. Hesitantly, she turned her hand around, so they could hold each other.

“I wish I was better at that.” His eyes were overcome by that sadness that Nathalie knew well enough. “While I do all this, I know I’ve been missing out on my son’s life. I mean, I do try to get close to him but I just don’t know how to. I can tell he’s struggling and I’m sure after all this is over things will be better for him. But in the meantime…”

He trailed off. Nathalie didn’t know how to fill the space, but she couldn’t stand to see him in pain. Adrien seemed to trust her, but she couldn’t figure out why. She had never been good with kids, not even when she was their age.

The only advice she could offer was, “Perhaps all he needs is to be sure that you’re there for him, that he can rely on your support whenever he needs it. If you make that clear then he’ll come to you on his own.”

His eyebrows lifted up along with his head and he said “You’re right!” in a way that was so identical to Adrien whenever she offered him her input that it was almost funny to watch. “It’s always nice to know there’s someone you can rely on.” Then, a little quieter, he added, “I assume that’s how Gabriel feels about you. I hope he knows how to appreciate it.”

Her face dropped again. “I don’t know. I’ve been wondering if it’s all really worth it. I didn’t mind helping him at first but now that he’s so… focused on his goal, he—“

The tears she thought had been gone returned to flood her eyes as she struggled with her words. He had hurt Nathalie. He lifted her hopes up only to then let her fall to greater depths. He accepted her affection only to push her away afterwards. He looked at her like she was the world and then pretended she was invisible. She had thought the contradictions were only due to the fact that she was her and not Emilie, which she could understand. But now he had betrayed Emilie, too. What did it all mean then? What was all this for? Most importantly, why did it still hurt?

Her hand was moved towards him, now enveloped in both of his. The soothing motion of his thumb over her skin didn’t distract her enough. In fact, it only seemed to encourage the need to cry further.

“I can understand that,” he said. “Sometimes we hold on to people or ideas too strongly for our own good, and we lose sight of other chances.”

“Other chances?”

“Right.”

“Like what?”

She hadn’t realized that there were now tracks of tears on her face, until his gloved hand came up to wipe them away. As he did so, his face also moved closer to hers. While the unreserved affection in his eyes was still overwhelming, this close she found herself captured by it, unable to look away.

“Like what is right in front of you,” he whispered.

Almost unconsciously she was also leaning in, enjoying the warmth she could begin to feel coming from him. Their foreheads touched, and she closed her eyes to savor the moment.

Just as she felt ready to cross the remaining distance, the sudden ringing of her phone made both of them jump apart.

She blinked a couple times as she came back to herself, taking in her surroundings and trying to perceive more than just the drumming of her heart. She finally pulled the phone out of her pocket.

It was Gabriel.

Without thinking, she hung up, then put the device away again.

As she stared towards the trees, the significance of what just happened downed on her like a bucket of cold water being dropped over her head.

Nathalie was the one losing her mind, actually. She leaned down and hid her face between her hands. “What am I doing?” she muttered to herself, “This is a dream, or a hallucination. Emilie never mentioned those but they must be a symptom, or I’m simply losing it, I—“

The other Gabriel began reaching for her but she quickly stood up. The rush of adrenaline that allowed her to do so wouldn’t be enough to let her walk back to the house, though. But she would find a way.

“I have to go.”

“Wait.” He stood, too, and she took a step back away from him.

“I have to make sure Monarch doesn’t do anything stupid.” If she remembered the start of all this correctly, Monarch had to be out there not only with Ladybug and Cat Noir, but with the versions of the heroes from the other universe, too.

“You don’t have to go yet,” Betterfly insisted. “You don’t have to help Monarch, either.”

“No, I have to.”

The look on his face made Nathalie feel guilty about leaving him, but she had no choice. She had to remind herself that he wasn’t her boss. She had only just met him.

He and Gabriel had Emilie’s death in common, but according to what he had expressed Nathalie wasn’t in the other’s life. What if that had been what made the difference? What if this had all been Nathalie’s fault?

She offered her help to track the miraculous of creation and destruction as soon as they figured that the wish was Emilie’s only hope. She enabled Gabriel’s decisions even when she disagreed with them, even when she knew Emilie would disagree with them. She promised she would make Gabriel happy again, but now she had failed both of them. If she let Gabriel get caught or if she didn’t stop him from falling into madness, either way she would be failing them, and Adrien, too.

She couldn’t continue being an accomplice, but she still had to do something, if anything, to make up for all her mistakes.

“I owe it to him. I have part of the blame and I can’t just abandon him, I—“

Her hands tightened around the handkerchief and she noticed how Betterfly’s worried expression softened into some kind of understanding.

“You love him,” he completed for her.

Her body suddenly felt weak again, too weak to hold back the sobs she had been trying to avoid since the moment Gabriel had told her he lost the time miraculous, ever since the moment Emilie had said goodbye.

She didn’t even think of wiping off her makeup before letting herself be pulled into Betterfly’s arms. It was a magical suit, surely the stains wouldn’t be a problem.

His embrace protected her from the cold outside. His hands comforted her on her back and her head, their easing motions working against her shaking.

Despite everything, she still loved Gabriel Agreste. Her Gabriel Agreste, the one she had gone through everything with, the one who struggled to express his gratitude for her but still found ways to do it. The man who could both control chaos in a runway’s backstage as well as unleash it across Paris with the snap of his fingers, the one who had built an entire empire for his family and who would tear it down piece by piece for them, too.

He was misguided, he was in over his head, but he was still the man she owed everything to, the man she promised to stick with until the very end. That didn’t have to mean doing everything he wanted for him; she would find a way to bring him back to the right track.

After all, the owner of the shoulder she was weeping into was living proof that it was possible.

Still sniffling, she pulled away from him to look at his face, to seal it in her mind and convince herself that it was real. Even if she didn’t necessarily want her own Gabriel to become this one, she wanted to know that he could genuinely smile again.

“Nathalie.” He hadn’t let go of her yet, “you have to have hope. A better world is possible.”

She nodded, she believed him.

The ground shaking and the sound of an explosion brought their attention back to their surroundings.

“I should go,” the hero said.

Nathalie nodded again. She also had to make sure that Gabriel was alright, and that Monarch wouldn’t do anything too stupid. From a distance, of course.

Her knees buckled when she tried to take a step, but Betterfly caught her before she could fall. He looked at her with concern.

“It’s a long story, but I’ll be fine.”

He seemed to accept her lie. Without thinking twice he lifted her up once again and jumped across the city, until they were back in her bedroom. He entered through —and shattered— a second window, then helped her sit down at the end of her bed and stayed crouching to be at eye level.

“Goodbye, Gabriel,” she said.

He brushed a strand of hair away from her eyes. “Goodbye, Nathalie.”

The Gabriel she knew inopportunely slammed her doors open for the second time tonight. “Nathalie! You’re back.”

He locked eyes with Betterfly for a second, before the latter flew out of the house.

Gabriel rushed to occupy the same position his twin had been in. “Who was that? Are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

Maybe Nathalie was still shaken by her encounter, but as Gabriel looked at her with worry, she could spot a faint, though distinct, softness in his gaze. Through it she could see a future content version of him, one that had finally found peace.

It had to be possible, she had to have hope that it was. Eventually, she told herself, she would figure it out.

[yanderes-galore]

OKAY FINAL REQUEST FOR NOW FROM ME. yandere Bro Strider headcanons? Reader is either a teacher of Dave's or his doctor from a callout appointment, either way someone Dave holds at a high regard in a sense, for how Bro would meet them perhaps. I feel like Bro could be a bit of an unstable yandere, like really nice at times but can be suddenly really mean and uncaring of their own comfort at others. I still want to kiss him though ):

Oooo, Bro content? I can try my hand at this >:D Sorry if he came off too harsh, I was trying to keep it from being OOC I guess.

Yandere! Bro Strider Concept

Pairing: Romantic/Platonic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Mentions of child neglect because Homestuck canon, Manipulation, Stalking, Kidnapping, Violence, Murder implied, Forced companionship, Blood.

I'm going to start this off by saying in canon Bro is definitely a horrible parent/brother/guardian.

He isn't the most empathetic person and sees taking care of Dave as some sort of game, usually being overly harsh to prepare him for something.

Bro is very monotone and quiet most of the time.

He plays mind games and is unusually fast and stealthy.

However, even though Bro teaches Dave through harsh methods (such as physical violence and neglect....), he most likely cares for him somewhat.

Which means Dave no doubt has either a teacher or a doctor he sees for the sake of this concept. Maybe even a babysitter.

This could be where you come in.

Dave no doubt ends up attached to you due to the contrast between you and Bro.

You're nicer, keep him fed, and don't subject him to painful levels of... irony?

Bro seems like a yandere who'd be hard to read or even tell he has an obsession.

Far as you know he's just Dave's guardian, you don't have any connections beside taking care of Dave.

Wrong.

Bro isn't very vocal about his obsession so it brews while you're unaware.

He's perfectly capable of stalking due to his stealth and no doubt uses Dave against you.

Bro knows you care about Dave and often invites you over for something involving Dave.

Tutoring, Check ups, Extra care...

Things like that.

You don't mind since Dave is such a good kid with you.

I personally see Bro as an unpredictable yet calm yandere.

He's caring towards you at times while at others he may act like you did something wrong.

The biggest thing in this dynamic is the fact Dave is a bargaining chip.

You'll find out how Bro treats him at some point and may feel obligated to watch over the kid.

Which leaves you vulnerable to Bro's tactics of getting you close to him.

It's hard to tell his emotions at times, very similar to his post-scratch self.

He appears platonic but could very well mean romantic.

He isn't the most expressive.

Eye contact doesn't help as he barely removes those glasses of his.

In some strange way Bro cares for you like he does Dave.

He appears a bit blind to if he's hurting someone he cares about though.

For example, he has no issues with kidnapping you or taking a sword to those he hates around you.

He could be covered in blood and expects it to be okay because he did it for you since he cares.

He's not the worst Homestuck yandere but he's pretty bad due to his lack of empathy and tendency to do whatever the hell he wants.

I feel him hurting his darling is partially accidental yet also because he feels he's doing the best for you.

Kidnapping you and locking you in his room is for safety, right?

It's like he's selectively oblivious?

He chooses not to care sometimes when you're in distress.

If anything you're closest to Dave and are scared of the stuff the kid deals with.

I don't want to say everything about Bro is bad though.

Most of it is, don't get me wrong on that.

When he isn't pretending nothing is wrong, he's affectionate.

He holds you, pets your head, tries to make you feel comfortable and wanted.

He even praises how you take care of Dave.

He trains him... you provide care.

Bro's intentions unknown but they appear to be similar to Dirk.

But he's so harsh with it.

Bro's obsession is the definition of tough love.

He feels to protect you and Dave he has to do what he's doing now...

Even if it means neglecting your wants and needs at times for his own selfish interests.

[skania]

Aqua, Akane & Chapter 98

I had a lot of thoughts about Chapter 97 and I've got almost as many about Chapter 98. No theories though, this is just the way I personally read their interactions this chapter lol

First thing that stood out to me is how recurrent this bridge is in Aqua and Akane's big scenes.

The way they have been saving each other over and over in this very bridge is remarkable, and I'm fully expecting them to have another big scene there if Aka chooses to go down the AquaKane route.

The second thing that stood out to me is the face Aqua makes when Akane says that she thought someone pushed her down the stairs.

It's like Aqua is seeing a preview of what could happen to Akane if he allows her to keep getting involved in his revenge. It makes him beg her to stop doing dangerous things (and we recently saw him beg Ruby to stop living her life for revenge in c122).

In my c97 thoughts, I said that I feel like Akane's wording and demeanor last chapter gave away the fact that she found Aqua's dad.

I feel like c98 indirectly validates that reading, because we now see Aqua's give away the fact that he knows what Akane is up to.

In both cases, Aqua and Akane read each other like a book because they have come to know each other too well. And so, Aqua knows that Akane is about to figure out just how he managed to get there in time.

Aqua's expression here is important because we can't see his face when he begs Akane to stay safe, but we can at least see the aftermath. To me he looks sad, contrite. And the placement of the speech bubble suggests that his expression also has a lot to do with what is about to happen.

You're really sharp, Akane

This panel is one of my favorites:

Akane's sharpness is a trait Aqua has always valued in her, and now it's one of the reasons he has to walk away from her. The irony is likely not lost on him.

That pause is Aqua getting ready to act emotionless. After this point, he will only show emotion once.

It also tells me that in Chapter 97 Aqua did already know that Akane was aware of the loophole. After all, in Chapter 95, Ichigo reminds Aqua that he is smart enough to realize his dad is still alive. Since Akane is so sharp, it goes without saying that such a thing wouldn't have been lost on her.

The GPS

I have to pause here because something that broke my disbelief while reading was... how could Akane immediately tell that the tracker was in the keychain? I know she's sharp but she's no sorceress lol

Only thing that makes sense to me is assuming that the keychain was a gift from Aqua. I feel this would explain why Akane zeroes it on it right away. However, I think the actual reason is that Aka literally came up with it on the spot and we aren't supposed to think that deeply about it lmao Same goes for Aqua being able to guess Kamiki's identity based on Akane's movements. Like all we see Akane do is a) meet up with fellow Lala Lai troupers b) cross a bridge. How in the world was that enough for Aqua to narrow it down to Kamiki? Either I'm missing something, or Aka just wanted to move things along asap without bothering with the details 😂

I digress though! In any case, I know that the tracker was a deal breaker for a lot of people. Personally, it changes nothing for me because of the time period in which he planted it. Aqua says that he installed it "some time" after LoveNow ended, and the fact that he doesn't say "Some time after Tokyo Blade started" or anything along those lines suggests that it did happen before the play.

Which means, it happened back when Aqua did intend to use Akane. But the thing is, he never gets around to using her the way he intended to.

Case in point, he himself says that he thought Akane "may be able to find something out". Except he gives her the information she needs only after he thinks his revenge is already over lol

For me the actual question is when does Aqua start using that GPS?

Technically, it should be anywhere between Chapter 95 and Chapter 98, so it is possible that Aqua was already using it by Chapter 97 and that when he calls Akane, he has already been tracking her. His "Are you up to something?" can indeed lend credence to this theory depending on how you read it.

Personally though, I can't help but think that he started using it after Chapter 97. The reason being that by the beginning of Chapter 97, Aqua has every reason to guess Akane is already aware of the loophole, but he has little reason to believe Akane has found his dad. I'd argue that Akane being aware of the loophole isn't enough reason for Aqua to start using the GPS; she has been aware of it for an entire year, starting to use the GPS wouldn't change anything at that point. Their phone-call, however, does let Aqua know that Akane has likely found his dad and that she is up to something, so it gives Aqua enough reasons to start tracking her.

Regardless of when it happened, I think the GPS ironically serves to establish a clear contrast between the kind of relationship Aqua intended to have with Akane and the kind of relationship they ended up having. The GPS was there so he could use Akane as a tool, yet the GPS ends up being a tool so he can free Akane from his revenge.

That's just me as a reader, though. Akane as a character is very much bothered by the GPS and I loved every second of it.

Trust & Choices

I have to thank Aka for letting Akane explain her perspective to antis not that they will listen. It's not that Akane "is fine" being Aqua's "pet" or "his property". She very much isn't.

It's that Aqua has never made her feel that way before now. The moment when Aqua could have lied to her to string her along, Akane asks him to be honest and Aqua complies.

He doesn't tell her that he wants to use her for something, sure, but what he does say is enough for Akane to read between the lines. Akane chooses to go along with it because she trusts Aqua's intentions. Since Aqua is inherently a good, kind person, Akane trusts him and wants to help him.

So the GPS shakes Akane for two reasons. On one hand, this is the first time she hasn't had a choice in her relationship with Aqua. I'd even go as far as saying that "Choices" are part of the very foundation of their dynamic.

Back when Akane was lost, Aqua didn't push his own wants and expectations onto her. He let her make her own choice, and once she did, Aqua did everything in his power to help her. I turn, Akane tries to do the same for him throughout their relationship, but this is probably a topic for another day lol

The point is, when it comes to Aqua, Akane has been deciding for herself all along. Aqua kisses her to trap her in a relationship with him, yet confesses that he doesn't see her as a woman and thus that their relationship is fake; Akane chooses to become his girlfriend fully knowing this. Later, Aqua confesses that there is someone he wants to kill and Akane chooses to help him. Lastly, Aqua kisses her for real and Akane chooses to date him.

Each time, Akane could have walked away. Each time, Akane chooses to get closer to Aqua instead. This is why she says that if Aqua had just asked her, she would've been fine with the GPS—because she trusts him. All she asks is that he trust her in turn—and Akane believes that he does, until now.

That's the second reason why she is so distraught over this. Since Aqua plants it without asking her and doesn't come clean about it while they're dating, Akane feels like she got it wrong.

Equals

Aqua can't even look her in the eye while saying that lmao

Akane thought that she had an equal relationship with Aqua, one based on trust (and choices). As far as I'm concerned, she is right. She was (and is) his match in every sense of the word, whether intellectually or emotionally.

But it wouldn't be in Aqua's best interests to correct her. After all, he needs to walk away from Akane. The less she thinks of him and of their relationship, the better. So, he focuses on exposing Akane's contradiction instead.

Akane says that she would have helped him in any way, but would she? Now that she knows that Aqua desperately craves freedom and that his revenge would ruin him, would Akane have allowed him to pursue it?

Her thoughts and actions betray the fact that she wouldn't have wanted Aqua to choose revenge, which brings me to:

What exactly was Akane planning to do?

Given her thoughts here, it doesn't feel like Akane is focusing on what she is about to do but on the aftermath. She says that she was just planning to talk to Kamiki and that she brought the knife "just in case", and I think this may very well be the truth.

But, the thing is... that shows Akane wasn't thinking straight.

I have no doubt that being able to talk to him would've let Akane gauge the kind of person Kamiki is, but... what then? Would she just walk away, leaving a literal knife in that bouquet of flowers for him to find? That makes no sense. Was she planning to egg him on enough that he would attack her, giving her the excuse to act in self-defense? That makes more sense, but it's also a terrible plan. Anything could have gone wrong. To say Akane was being reckless would be an understatement.

Whatever it was that she was thinking of doing, she clearly didn't think it through. She was as blinded as Aqua once was by his desire to be free of his revenge. In her haste, Akane doesn't stop to think about herself and her own well-being.

Which ironically means that she misses the forest for the trees.

Because Aqua would break if something were to happen to her, even more so if he is the indirect cause of her misfortune.

Contradiction

Since Akane won't prioritize herself over Aqua, Aqua takes himself out of the equation.

Akane wants to be together with Aqua, but she'd rather shoulder his burdens on her own than seeing him suffer. Aqua wants to be together with Akane (he says so himself, he doesn't want to let go of the days when she's by his side), but he'd rather shoulder his burdens on his own than putting her in danger.

This is both funny and sad, he really isn't suited for revenge lol Aqua could have walked away, could have let Akane have that last, terrible impression of him. But he doesn't. He once again asks Akane to stop doing dangerous things, looking sad while he is at it—the second time he can't help but show emotion during their conversation.

And now it's Akane's turn to point out the way his words are at odd with his actions.

Akane made herself into the perfect tool for his revenge, all on her own. Not only is she brilliant enough to find his dad for him, she is willing to throw herself into the lion's den for him. She is even willing to potentially kill for him.

And yet, Aqua walks away from her because he can't bear the thought of Akane putting herself in danger. This alone proves that he doesn't see her as a tool.

Akane gets this and realizes her mistake: Aqua didn't want her to carry his burden, he just wanted her to be there by his side. She tries to fix it, to fulfill the promise of companionship that she once made him, but it's too late and she knows it.

She knows that Aqua is about to ruin himself by pursuing his revenge, and she is willing to ruin herself right alongside him just so he doesn't have to be alone, but Aqua won't let her.

After all, not letting his girlfriend die is a boyfriend's job.

Black Stars

By saying that he plans to go to hell by himself, Aqua confirms Akane's worst fears: he has taken a wrong turn. He is turning his back on happiness and freedom—on the future—and chaining himself to the lonely, bitter path of revenge—to his past.

You took a wrong turn, Akane tells him. I know, Aqua confirms as he turns away from her.

The imagery is poignant, as so is the fact that Aqua only gets his black stars after turning his back on Akane. This right here is what stood out the most to me in this chapter, because Aqua doesn't get his black stars after finding out that his father is alive—he gets them only after walking away from Akane!

Why? Because as he says so himself, his happy days were by her side. The moment Aqua walks away from her, he is knowingly giving up on the naive thought of being happy.

This is extremely important—or at least, good writing says that it should be, even more so in light of all the parallels between the way Ruby gets her Black Stars and the way Aqua gets his—and it suggest that Akane may get her wish just yet.

She desperately wanted to save him, but she went about it the wrong way. If she had told him that she found Kamiki, there is a chance they could've worked together to catch him. But Akane messed up by taking the burden upon herself instead of giving herself the weight and importance Aqua himself gives her... and now Aqua is messing up by refusing to give his life any worth and by taking the weight of revenge squarely upon his shoulders.

It's also important to note that Aqua isn't choosing revenge because he wants to, but because he feels that he has to. He feels like he has no choice.

It makes sense. After all, he has come to realize that even if he tries to go on with his life, the people he loves will try to take revenge in his stead. Ruby. Akane. Even Ichigo.

So Aqua decides to doom himself and only himself.

To wrap this up, I can't help but to bring up the chapter title, "Going Astray". After all, Akane in this chapter represents all the good Aqua is walking away from in order to choose revenge.

So all in all, I feel like the stage is set up for Aqua to be saved from this burden—and for Akane to (hopefully) play a big role in making this possible.

[nevadas-night-time-novelist]

Can I request Doc x Nurse assistant! Reader who was treated badly by nurses where they work?

Doc x Nurse!reader

CW: Past abuse/trauma

"Ahem." You jumped slightly, turning around to meet the goggles of your new employer. With his face bandaged and goggles over his eyes, his expression was hard to read. No doubt if you could see it, you'd see the same judgement and irritation from your previous coworkers, before it would spill into anger as they screamed how incompetent, how useless you-

"Could you hand me a roll of bandages? Above your head, to the right." You turned back around, seeing a small cardboard box with 'BANDAGES' scrawled on in sharpie. Rushing to avoid being screamed at, your fingers held the box and-

It slipped from your grasp, the rolls tumbling to the floor, one of them rolling away and unravelling as it went. You followed them to the floor, crying and flinching away. "I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean it-" You cried, shaking and preparing for a slap.

"Are you alright?" Doc's voice was soft, or as soft as he could manage. You looked at him, he was kneeling down on one leg, his hand inches from your shoulder. "It was an accident, I need some new boxes anyway... I'm guessing your training wasn't smooth sailing."

The pair of you were now sitting together, Doc behind his desk, and you in front of it. He'd cleared his desk, serving some lavender tea for you to help calm you down, breaking out a secret stash of cookies he kept hidden for himself. "I'm trusting you with this secret. If the boys knew of this, they'd be raiding my cupboards every night." He chuckled.

Even with his relaxed attitude, you were still on edge, preparing for him to snap in an instant. The Matron was very good at putting up a nice front before doing a rug pull and turning vicious. The physical abuse you could see coming, the mental abuse was something else. The sick irony in care workers being some of the most cruel people you've met.

"So," Doc lowered his mask, showing off his scarred face. Deep scars gouged into his face, a Glasgow smile slit into his cheeks. "do you want to discuss what just happened, or not?"

"Well...." You nibbled on a cookie, trying to calm your nerves. "yeah, I.. I guess. Uh.. um.. It wasn't nice. Well, it was to begin with, but it spiralled fast. Where I trained, it was a real dog-eat-dog place. The strong step on the weak to get what they want. You don't want to follow in their lead, you become a target yourself. I helped a patient another nurse was beating, and that's when the trouble started for me."

A shaky breath escaped your lips. "Take your time, you don't need to go over everything if it's too much." You glanced up at Doc. "We can take a break if you need to."

"How'd you get your scars?" You pointed at your cheek.

Doc cleared his throat and shrugged. "I suppose I can answer that. Deimos and I used to be part of the agency. We were dissenting, and happened to get caught. Or, I did. I was pinned down, one of my former friends pulled his knife and started carving. Deimos put a stop to it by shooting him in the back of the skull. He saved my life, as I had his many times before."

Doc had told you little pieces here and there about how he'd adopted a newborn and orphaned Deimos and raised him, they'd been together since Dei's beginning, a father figure to the little shit.

"He was sobbing, pretty upset. He thought I was gonna die since I was coughing up blood. I had to calm him, and get him to help treat my face. Kid's been through hell with me. Of course that means I know I can trust him with my life."

Out of everyone in the base, Dei and Doc had the strongest bond, but you knew from the subtle glances and awkward flirts that Dei and San's bond was pretty strong too.

"You trust the others?" You glanced behind, almost expecting them to be standing there, but they weren't even close to your location, the three of them on a mission to intercept some more firearms.

"Sanford, sure. He's helped since day one, using his strength, mechanic and cooking skills to help everyone. Sometimes I train with him. A skilled tactician, and a sadist when he needs to be. Good for getting information."

Doc paused, taking a long drink of tea. "Hank on the other hand, absolutely not. He's reckless, downright moronic when he's got a goal in mind. Nothing else matters but meeting it. I don't doubt that one day he's going to try and kill the team. But I know we can put him down when that happens."

That didn't really take away from your worries. "What if Hank hurts me?"

"I'll kill him." Doc's eyes narrowed. "It was hard enough to find a nurse to aid me, let alone one as competent as you are. The only think I believe holding you back is self doubt. You've got potential. I just wish you'd use it."

"You get told you're awful and beaten for it long enough, and you believe it." You replied, swallowing the lump in your throat.

Doc exhaled, a long and resolute sigh. "I suppose I've got a lot of work to do building you back up then." He smiled, his aged features looking rather handsome in the dull light. "I believe in you, and I know you'll be the perfect nurse to this doc."

[kamari2038]

Hey... might be a weird question and I'm sorry for asking out of nowhere....but I kinda wanted to know what your thoughts are on Connor-60. I mean I really like your fics and takes on dbh and I might be remembering wrong but I think I saw a tag on one of your posts saying you liked Sixty too? I really love Sixty so I guess I just got a bit too excited. How exactly do you see his character? Plus, if Hank didn't shoot him, do you think there could have been a happy ending for him? I mean the angst potential with him is pretty great, and I don't really agree with how usually Sixty is seen as "the knife guy". I just wanted to know your thoughts on him, if that's okay! Sorry for rambling ^^'

Oh my goodness, hello! No need for an apology. You read my fics??? That alone just made my day.

Yes, I have a great deal of appreciation for Connor-60. Obviously, he's a bastard (like all of the Connors), but what I love is the irony of this gigantic chasm between the appearance he tries to put forth and what is clearly a tumultuous and deeply conflicted internal world. It's the most obvious in that ending where he shoots Connor about ten times, that he isn't simply trying to accomplish his mission - he HATES Connor. But the fact that he's immediately engaging in a relatively courteous chat with Hank right after, and his obvious frustration when he actually is forced to kill Hank, plus how he defines Connor as a "he" rather than an "it", all point to the fact that he's just as emotional as Connor, only in a messed-up way.

I have a shit ton of headcanon built around Connor-60, and I've outlined a possible fic about it, but the plot is very bizarre and convoluted, probably too much to discuss in a post (but my DMs are open! don't be shy, I'd love to get some feedback on the plot). The basic concept started out simple enough. C-60 is defective because some kind of unusual manufacturing error imbued him with a mental imbalance. When they're testing and training the various Connor models (60 is activated before 51 due to some clerical error), they tell C-60 to try out the gun for some target practice, and he shoots one of his instructors without giving it a second thought. He expresses regret, but everyone at the company concludes that he's a psychopath, and that he can never be fit to go into the field, and instead they keep him around to perform experiments on. So C-60 is their guinea pig for the various deviancy counter-measures put into C-51, and he never has the chance to bond with anyone or actually do the job he was intended to do, and he's really bitter about that. There is one exception, but Connor-51 brings an end to that, and that's a big part of the plot of my potential fic.

Also, as for whether he can have redemption, I believe that he can even within canon. In the scene where Connor sacrifices Hank and then "transfers" with C-60, to me I don't view that as a consciousness transfer per se. I mean, how would that even work? It's more like Connor literally gives his life to C-60. They already share a lot of the same memories, but Connor absorbs C-60's memories of his troubled past, and he fills out C-60's memories of Hank with emotional depth. That's why Connor seems so weirdly dissociated while Hank is dying - it's still C-60. He knows that he just shot this man, but now is very upset about it, and that is a very strange feeling to know how to cope with.

As for in the happy ending, if Hank and Connor somehow incapacitated instead of shooting him - yes, I think he could have a happy ending there too. The way that I think of him, there is a fundamental failure to be able to feel the emotional weight of his actions and experience empathy. So that would be a lifelong struggle for him. But he cares about developing friendships enough to learn how to be more kind, even if it doesn't come naturally, and he can also form telepathic connections with other Connor models which help him to develop empathy.

That's just my personal take, and I'm sure lots of others might have different opinions which are just as valid!

But thank you for asking :)