#I only flipped my canvas twice :)

[idl3lane]

here’s a quick doodle of moros from hades 2 I will not finish this lol had fun doing this lil thing

[cuteniaarts]

Rough concept of 14-year-old Haya, which I’d call a quick sketch if I hadn’t spent almost two hours on it

Alternatively: Photos taken moments before disaster (read as: a few months before her parents died)

[strawberries-and-summer-days]

clarisse la rue x reader where the reader and clarisse are bsfs and reader is being bullied by a couple of aphrodite girls, and clarisse find out and flips out then clarisse confesses :))) i love your writing!!

THATS MY BEST FRIEND....RIGHT? . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁

pairing: clarisse la rue x iris!fem!reader

warnings: swearing, violence (mentions of physical assault - clarisse calling the girls out), teenagers being bitches and calling ppl names

a/n: this was soo cute to write omg. this also would've been out sooner but then tumblr shut down before i had the chance to save it 😭

if you walked up to any camper and asked them which two campers were best friends every single on of them would go clarisse and y/n.

it was like a second nature to them by now.

clarisse a daughter of ares and y/n a daughter of iris. not the most likely duo, but you fit. you clicked in a way you hadn't with anyone else.

you were the only person who could talk clarisse down when she was worked up. and she was the only person who could break through to you when you were lost in your world of paints and colors.

you had first met clarisse your third week at camp. you were sitting in the stands watching campers spar - well watching was a stretch, you were actually painting - and clarisse had finished up with the camper she was fighting. she had walked up the stands and plopped straight down next to you with a huge grin on her face. it had been almost irresistible to not look back up at her with a matching smile.

that was the first time someone had ever managed to pull you away from your paintings. it wasn't the last.

from then on you and clarisse had practically been inseparable. you were the camp's unofficial official bsf's.

clarisse.

your mind often drifts to clarisse when you paint. her soft skin, curly luscious hair, and adorable smile. they constantly popped into your mind - it was hard not to paint something clarisse related honestly.

"hey you." a presence drops beside you on the grass.

"hi," you offer softly, looking up from your painting which surprise surprise was a painting of clarisse.

"ooh i like this one," she says pointing at the now dry canvas - how long were you staring at it?? "it really brings out my eyes."

you dip your head blushing. "uh thanks."

"hey," clarisse says tilting your head up. "don't be embarrassed. i love it. its one hundred percent going with my collection." her gentle touch sends tingles through your skin and causes you to blush even more.

she grins and picks up the painting, "im gonna put it with the others in my cabin, i'll be right back." clarisse picks the painting up not even listening to your protests of how its technically not finished and races off to her cabin.

you sit the and pull out another canvas, determined to not paint clarisse twice in one morning, its happened before.

"look at the ugly ass painter and her little canvas," a sneer comes from in front of you. you don't hear them already lost in your world of paints.

"what shit painting are you doing now?"

you still don't hear them. the only way you could notice their presence was the shadow above you - but again you're still wrapped in a world of colors merging and dancing over the canvas.

you're painting a bouquet of wildflowers. the colors blending perfectly together. you're immensely happy with they ways its turning out but then voices start to break through your haze.

"hey bitch? are you ignoring me?"

"art slut? did you hear me? that's the ugliest thing ever and i'm not talking about the painting."

a hand whips across your face and someone rips you away from the painting. "you in there art bitch?" you finally notice the four aphrodite girls standing in front of your.

the same four girls have been terrorising you for months. and they're careful, never coming up to you whenever clarisse is around. right now? perfect example.

two hands grip you arms to keep you back and the main girl, ellie, steps forward picking up your painting and a handful of dirt.

"NO!" you shriek lurching forward.

"what you don't like my improvements? i made it match. the dirt is the same color of this shit." she looks at you with malice. "and for the final touch," she stabs a nearby stick straight through ripping the painting to shreds.

tears are springing to you eyes.

your painting. YOUR PAINTING.

"aww are you crying?" ellie smirks and then steps forward picking your paints up and pouring them straight onto you. she steps forward and smears it across you writing slut and bitch across your front. you try and squirm as the second girl steps forward with handfuls of dirt and sprinkles it over you.

tears are freely streaming down your face now and you slump, the fight leaving you quickly.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" a loud voice booms behind you all.

the four girls freeze, letting you go.

you fall forwards a sob escaping your mouth at the sight of your painting.

your painting.

"what the ever loving hell are you doing?" clarisse's voice is deadly calm and she stalks towards y/n collapsed on the ground.

the aphrodite girls all step back from you and clarisse takes a single step forward. "we weren't doing anything!" the two who were holding you say panicked.

"no you were doing something," clarisse stalks closer the girls back pedalling in fear. "you were holding my best friend back while those two bitches assaulted her."

"we weren't assaulting her!" the girl beside ellie shrieks. "it was just a joke!"

"you one hundred were assaulting her." clarisse points to you. "does this look like someone who thinks its a joke?"

"well if she wasn't such a bitch and listened to me the first time i talked we wouldn't have had to," ellie seethes.

clarisse snaps.

she practically flies on top of the girls - and yes girls, plural. clarisse crash tackles ellie and the other girl to the ground sending punches to their faces. "motherfucking bitches," she spits and she yanks on a handful of hair.

shrieks and cries come from the girls causing campers to come over and watch the scene unfold. now look, you're not exactly an extremely popular camper, but everyone knows you and likes you, your sweet to nearly everybody you meet so when they see you on the ground covered in paint and dirt, their surprised looks turn into egging clarisse on to get a better hit. some other ares kids join in happy to put some bitchy aphrodites back in their place.

your siblings gasp in unison when they see you helping you off the ground and picking up the strewn paint bottles and shredded painting sending death glares that hades would be proud of.

"why is this such a big deal?" ellie laughs from beneath clarisse. "you act like you're in love with her."

"of course i am!" clarisse all but roars sending more punches into her. only stopping when several of her siblings hauled her off ellie because chiron and mr d had shown up.

they both - well chiron - looked at you with sympathetic eyes telling your siblings to help you get cleaned up and to lay down for a while.

you didn't hear them. you didn't hear anything but clarisse's voice.

you act like you're in love with her.

of course i am.

of course i am.

of course i am.

you couldn't think of anything else as you showered, washing away the paint, dirt and tears. you didn't think of anything else when your siblings guided you back into your cabin and into bed. you didn't think of anything else as you fell asleep.

you didn't think of anything else until you felt the mattress dip next to you, a warm hand stroking your forehead, stirring you from your sleep.

"hey you," clarisse smiles down at you.

"hi," you whisper.

"today's been shit huh?" she looks down at you with concern.

"yeah..."

"how are you feeling?"

"better," you smile gently, it fades when you work up the nerve to say. "hey about earlier-"

"i'm sorry for flipping out," clarisse says. "its just that she was saying all that shit about you, and i hated it, you looked so broken and small on the ground and i, just snapped, im so sorry, really, i am. i shouldn't have done that without checking on you first but i knew if i did that, that bitch was going to get away with it. im so so sorry, y/n. please forg-" you cut her off in a moment of boldness sitting up and placing a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

clarisse sits there stunned, her mouth slightly gapes open and you smile at her.

"did you mean it?" you ask hoping she understand you were talking about her earlier 'of course i am' outbreak.

she closes her mouth and nods speaking softly, in a nervous way. "yeah, i meant it."

"good. because i feel the same way."

clarisse lights up at that, a huge grin spreading across her face. "really?"

"really."

you intertwine your hands together grateful then that the cabin was empty - clarisse probably cleared it out when she came to visit. you'd never admit this to her, but quiet a few of your siblings are scared of her.

you grin back at her and pull her face down to connect with yours feeling the colors explode into the world, light dancing around the two of you in a beautiful circle.

maybe today hasn't been too bad after all.

a/n: unedited! this made me giggle and smile wayyyy to much lmao

©strawberries-and-summer-days please do not steal, use or repost my works.

[deadboyfriendd]

Cochise V: Fin

Summary: A dinner party turns into forever.

Warnings: Fem!Reader, Outlaw/Doc Holliday!Eddie Munson x Reader, wild west/Tombstone!AU, drug use, drug overdose (apparent suicide), death of minor character by hanging, period-appropriate death and violence, angst, fluff, smut

My content is 18+ Minors DNI

Word Count: 869

“You figure we should get married?” He’d asked, turning his head to look at you. 

A gilded light streams steady through heavy canvas drapery and spills on to the floor in an abundant, golden puddle. The heat of the sun is already beginning to warm the floor in which it shines. A wide smile beams up at you, from the daguerreotype daughter of southwest Arkansas. She sits, hand and hand, still in a dance alongside Wilhelm. Tight-lipped smile wrapping itself around a wireframe structure– just the way you had left him. 

Your thumb traces the indent of twine over your ring finger, where the gold of your wedding band once sat. It rolls over itself, now worn and soft over your skin. You know that, later today, a string from the same expanse would be passed over the same way by chips and cards in a game of Faro. You recount the memory of moments past;

“No. Do you?” You’d replied, truthfully. 

“You don’t think about it?” He asked again, turning over onto his side. 

You flipped over in synchrony, eyes meeting his, “We’ve both done this before.” 

We both know how it ends.

“But not with each other.” 

You wouldn’t meet his eye. Instead, you turned, willing back the tears that always came too late. Eddie had habituated the upstairs home in coexistence with the hollowness of Wilhelm’s presence. 

His boots sat in the same place by the front door, though, one sat toppled over in the remnant memory of a sloppy, chaste dance from the night before, chair at the table left out turned sideways from bearing the same sloppy weight moments after. 

You think back to that smile. The glimmer of it is drowned by the refraction of light off of the remnants of your wedding band– blinding. The silt of violence stirs within you at the thought of these things in their place, placating sadness and the same hollowness of a second dead husband– how the world was cruel in that nature, to rob you of this peace twice. 

You thought to distrust it, though, you would still marry Wilhelm again knowing the way it ended. 

There would be no white dress, no poppies in spring covering the vast expanse of the wildflower west. There would be no veil to cover a face gleaming with innocence. No, this land was too harsh for that. 

Your brain settles on a place far off in the dissonance. A table that resembled your own with four chairs. Christine is charming, you’d decided. She was funny in a way that was almost mean. She was hardened– but not as much as you. You imagined yourself as friends. 

Your brain etches in the details of Wilhelm’s face. Kind eyes that you would never forget, laugh lines that you filled in after the fact. You’d swore you’d never forget, though, as it seems, time had cast a vignette around him. He would clap Eddie on the shoulder, whisper things for men’s ears only to Eddie– in which Eddie would fill you in after dinner. Wilhelm would know this, as well. 

You think of bidding them farewell. Of a hug and a promise of more dinner plans to come. But for now, it was goodbye. They would retreat back to their home past where the sun set. You would stay alight in its blaze. 

“I’m not promising you forever.”

“Is this for better or for worse?”

“We’ve already lived through the worst. Just us. Don’t give me your covenants,” He’d bartered quietly. He hesitated to touch you, “Please, honey, just a promise.” 

��A promise?” You’d asked, finally, turning back over your shoulder to look at him. “I can make a promise.” 

He’d nodded, sifting through your sewing box until he settled upon it. A thin leather twine. No covenant. No superstition. 

The west would be won, but not by him. Not now. 

Eddie settles in that same place, though, it is after dinner. He waits beneath the softness of your sheets. They no longer smell foreign.

He watched the way your skin rippled at your lower back as your bare skin pressed against your vanity stool, and the way your skin stretched over your shoulder blades as you pulled your hair to the side, raking through it with the brush in front of you. Your lips fell into a supple pout in concentration, and your lashes kissed your cheeks as you looked down. He allowed himself to free-float into the stagnant desert air. 

“Hey, Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“What did Wilhelm say to you? After dinner?” 

He sat back at that table. You had been correct. Wilhelm was tall, much taller than him. He was intelligent and not as gruff. In the beginning, he’d wondered why you’d chosen to love him after someone like Wilhelm. Something in the orange told him that they would return home soon. Wilhelm knew this, too. 

His hand was a comfort, clasped against his shoulder, his voice a gilden song. 

“Tell her I said it’s okay.” He’d whispered to Eddie, and he was filled with a sense of knowing. 

His eyes met yours once more, the darkness of night prevailing casted a shadow over your features. 

“It’s okay, Nellie.” 

[made-nondescript]

looking back at all my old timelapses and the most noticable thing is that i did not flip the canvas ONCE.then i started doing it last year and its only gotten progressively worse. june of last year i was doing it once or twice when something looked off and NOW every drawing i do is doing a silly little dance bc i cant stop flipping it over and over and over and ov

[cricutmachinemaker]

How to Use Cricut Explore 3: An Easy Guide for Beginners

Greetings to all my lovely crafters; I hope you are enjoying the festive season by creating a variety of custom projects with your Cricut machine. Hey, are you a new DIYer and searching for how to use Cricut Explore 3? I am Luna Lovegood, and I am going to be your guardian angel. It's been three years, but it seems like yesterday I bought my Cricut machine and did a lot of research before using it.

I know you might have thousands of questions running through your mind regarding this Cricut machine, but you can't find any exact answer. In this blog, I will share with you the details about this machine. Cricut Explore 3 is now smarter & faster and cuts more than 100+ materials with ease and precision. Besides, it works with 6 different tools and cuts twice as fast as other Cricut models.

How to Setup Cricut Explore 3 on a Computer?

Before gaining info on how to use Cricut Explore 3 to make a DIY project, you need to set it up with a PC. Being your guardian, I must make you aware of the machine setup process with the Windows or Mac operating system. Carefully go through the details given below:

After successfully learning about the Explore 3 setup process, it's time for you to create DIY projects out of this Cricut product.

How to Use Cricut Explore 3 for the First Time?

Following the completion of the machine setup with the computer, I need to ensure that you are well aware of how to use a Cricut Explore 3 machine. Many customized crafts can be made out of this machine within a few minutes. In this section, I am going to share with you the steps of creating a personalized cupcake topper with this craft machine.

Step 1: Sign in Cricut App and Create Your Design

As you can see, I start the process by signing into the Cricut app using my Cricut ID and password.

Alt Text: Enter your login details and sign in to the Cricut app

Now, press the New Project option, and you will land on your new canvas. Next, tick the Images tool and choose the image by entering its code inside the Search field. Following this, click the image and then tap the Insert Image option.

Next, I will select the image and then change its size as per my choice. Afterward, I am going to open the Flip Dropbox and choose the Print option. Following this, I will press the Flatten button under the bottom of the Layers section.

After flattening the design, I am going to select the design and press the Duplicate. Now, I will flip the design to the horizontal given under the Flip Dropbox. I can paste these duplicate designs on both sides of the toothpick.

Step 2: Print Stickers and Choose the Material

After completing the design, I will press the Make It option present on the top right side of the canvas. Now, I will type 24 under the Project Copies and hit the Apply option. Next, I will press the Continue button and hit the Send to Printer option.

Following this, the printer pop-up window will appear on my screen. On the screen, I will get to see my printer model, & total copies and will enable Add Bleed along with the Use System Dialog toggle.

Now, I will wait till my printer is printing the stickers on the sheet. When the process comes to an end, I will unload the sheet from the printer. Simultaneously, I will reopen Design Space and choose the Light Cardstock from the Set Material section. After doing that, I will keep the pressure as default only without any changes.

Step 3: Cut and Weed Out Sticker

After finishing the above-said steps of how to use Cricut Explore 3, I will paste the material on my cutting mat using the brayer tool. Next, I will insert my cutting mat into Explore 3 and press the flashing light to start the cutting process. At this point, I will wait till the cutting process is going on. Following the completion of the cutting process, I am going to bend my mat backward and remove all the stickers one by one.

Step 4: Stick Your Final Design on the Toothpick

In the final stage of how to use Cricut Explore 3, I will take the glue gun and stick both the stickers together. Further, I will apply glue at the bottom of the sticker and place a toothpick in between. Now, I will gently put a little pressure on the cupcake topper correctly, leave it for a few minutes, and let the glue set properly.

After a few minutes, I am going to place my customized topper on your cupcake. Finally, I will distribute them among the kids and let them have this tasty dessert and enjoy the party.

With the help of my cutting machine, Cricut app, and supplies, I was capable of grabbing the majority of content regarding how to use Cricut Explore 3. Other than that, it also enlightened me with my inner talent.

Frequently Asked Questions

Question: What Supplies Come With Cricut Explore 3?

Answer: Along with this Cricut product, you will also get different supplies that will help you in forming the crafts of your choice. However, it's crucial to ensure that you are correctly using the supplies without any mistakes. Have a look at the supply name below:

Question: What Crafts Can I Make From My Cricut Explore 3 Machine?

Answer: Cricut Explore 3 is an ultimate cutting machine that is capable enough to cut 100+ materials with accuracy. Some of the customized crafts that can be made out of this craft machine are as follows:

Question: Is Cricut Explore 3 Worth Buying as a Cutting Machine?

Answer: This Cricut product offers excellent versatility and is an all-rounder while creating customized projects. It can cut every material from thinnest to thickest with its shard-edge blades and tools. Besides, it's two times faster speed and latest updates make it more outstanding as compared to other models. Other than that, Explore 3 works with six different tools and is compatible with the Design Space app.

Visit: cricut.com/setup

Source: https://cricutdesignapp.wordpress.com/2023/12/09/how-to-use-cricut-explore-3-an-easy-guide-for-beginners/

[butchwaifu]

I really like your style and think u have alot of potential and i thought to give some pointers for if u plan to do commissions,

Try makeing your work in higher resolution so that your work is nice and crispy instead of crunchy (crunchy is not bad if pixelation is done in a purposeful way) try 300dpi

Messing around with poses and proportions is fun! But make sure your character feels balanced. Try flipping your canvas while u work or makeing the pose yourself, you yourself are always the most available pose model after all!

Backgrounds are hard and not necessary unless the commission asks for one, but avoid leaving characters floating in a void, add a drop shadow and maybe make the background a colour or shape. Simple and doesn't take away from the character/focal point are the main background rules!

Make sure that you have a contract for commission, while most ppl are cool there are always those who take advantage of artists. Have them sign an agreement to make sure u are paid for your time! That and haveing this will make the scamers think twice before doing anything.

Have fun and i wish u luck with your commissions!

So! This is just in case my friendly anon you ever see me answer this!

I'm actually an artist of 10+ years I just admittedly with my Very cartoony and simple style and especially the stuff I've been uploaded recently makes it look so, so the potential bit I get I'm sure as I draw more and more I'll get even better but unfortunately I've been at this so long this Is my potential after 10 years of serious practice and the whole blood sweat and tears bit it took me so long to get Here and it'll take me so much longer to get even further but I'll never stop trucking!

As for quality I actually draw the lineart traditionally and use an online app to erase the background color!

Before -> After

When I do this is SIGNIFICANTLY shrinks the image which I can't control and haven't figured out just yet how to fix But! I'll figure it out some day, as for now it's gonna be pixely.

As for posing and such I'm sure this is about drawing my oc Sunny crooked the intention was she was standing upright and leaning back (with a lot of responses I've gotten I realize this wasn't as obvious as I thought it'd be) otherwise all my art is Very ancient centeted and I do do dynamic poses and stuff!

(Sunny) / (Dynamic funsie doodles)

While this is not the BEST of my abilities it's only because I'm practicing digitally coloring basically doodles rn!

As for the background coloring or shadows I take that in deep consideration! I just like transparent images (: they remind me of stickers ☆

Contracts are definitely something I'll have to consider! Usually something written out and agreed upon in text is a binding contract and usually how I work when I commission other artists!

Thank you for your time, compliments and hopes in me anon! Ever since I posted my poll I've been getting a good vibe from a small but noteworthy amount of people thay make me feel good about my art!

I hope you see this!

[sukko-reblogs-funnies]

I am a very curious person. Digital artists that happen to read this:

[scuttling]

Happy Accidents

Fandom: Criminal Minds Pairings: Aaron Hotchner/Female Reader Word Count: 6,300 Tags: 18+, NSFW, Art, Neighbor Hotch, Shy and Oblivious Hotch, Flirting, It's soo sappy I'm sorry, Oral sex, Unprotected sex Summary: Aaron's new neighbor is out of his league for so many reasons: she's young, beautiful, artistic, unique, free-spirited, the kind of person who turns heads when she walks down the street. It's no wonder he ends up falling in love with her. *Requested by anon Link to A03 or read below! Against all of his better judgement, Aaron is kind of creeping on his new next door neighbor.

He is absolutely the type of man, any other time, to approach a woman he’s interested in and introduce himself, look for a way to connect, some common ground, but this is no ordinary woman.

She is out of his league in so many ways: young, beautiful, unique, free-spirited, the type of person who turns heads when she walks down the street. There’s not a chance in hell she would look twice at an old, stuffy, monotone suit with a seven year old son and perpetual bags under his eyes. That’s not him feeling bad about himself, it’s just the way the world works.

The first time he saw her, she was getting on the elevator while he was getting off of it, and they’d bumped into each other; she was wearing a short, flowy dress, and she’d smiled at him, apologized, eyes sparkling, smelling like she’d spent all day in the sunshine. It was the only time since Haley he’d ever entertained the idea of love at first sight.

She keeps to herself most of the time, gives off the air of being really cool and mysterious; their paths have crossed a few times since then—at the bank of mailboxes downstairs, in the hallway they share, once during a false alarm fire alarm—but he enjoys watching her paint more than anything.

They have balconies next to each other, and one night when he was tending to his herb garden—Jack enjoys watching the plants grow, and picking the herbs, Aaron likes to eat them—he spotted her standing on hers, facing away from him, in cut off jean shorts and a baggy t-shirt, barefoot. She’d been painting the city, the sky, with the sunset glowing behind her like she was the work of art, and he actually felt an ache in his chest, the feeling of missing someone he’s never really met.

Since that night, he’s started taking his work outside in the evenings after Jack goes to bed, and sitting in near silence while she paints, hums—sometimes songs he knows, sometimes songs he doesn’t. The first time he goes out before she does, she says hello when she drags her easel out, so he starts to say hello to her when she beats him there, too, but that’s pretty much the extent of their interaction. One evening when Aaron and Jack are getting home from dinner, she is lugging a canvas bigger than she is through the hallway and Jack almost runs headfirst into it; when he looks up, he exclaims about how big it is, and pretty—it’s covered with colors, something abstract and cheerful, and even if he’d seen it on the side of the road, he would have just known that she painted it. (That may be a good indicator that he’s getting in a little too deep.)

“Wow, that’s the biggest painting I’ve ever seen! And so many colors,” Jack says, awed. Aaron puts his hands on his shoulders to keep him out of her way; they’re already bothering her enough, when she’s clearly trying to get that giant thing home.

“It’s pretty cool, isn’t it? I carry bigger pieces around at my studio, believe it or not,” she says to him, poking her head around the side to look at him.

“You have a studio?” His eyes are wide with interest; his favorite subject has always been art, as evidenced by their refrigerator, which is covered in drawings. She offers him an even brighter smile.

“I do! It’s not far from here; it’s called Live in Color. There’s a big rainbow painted on the side.”

“That’s so cool; it must be awesome to have your own studio.” Aaron loves that Jack seems to be so passionate about this, but the way they are obviously holding her up has him feeling awkward; he tugs gently on Jack’s backpack.

“That is really cool, bud, but we should let her go. I’m sure that’s heavy.” She smiles, shrugs.

“It’s no trouble. Hey, actually, we have some children’s art classes at the studio, and you look like you’d fit right in with the Green group—ages 7-9?” She looks up at Aaron, who nods. “Maybe we can talk dad into bringing you down sometime. We do painting, drawing, and crafts, it’s really fun.” She’s still looking right at Aaron, gives him a little wink, and he swears to god he gets butterflies in his stomach.

He’s a grown man. A federal agent. With butterflies. It’s insane.

“Oh man, dad, please? Can I take classes at her studio pleeease?” Jack tugs on the sleeve of his suit, and he nods, smiles down at him.

“Yeah, absolutely, Jack. We’ll go down and get more information tomorrow?” he offers, to both placate him and finally free the poor girl from the conversation; he nods excitedly, and she smiles, looks sweet, genuinely happy Jack is so excited to take the class.

“Cool, I look forward to seeing you guys there. Actually, if you give me one sec, I can grab my card for you.” She passes them, carrying the canvas and looking effortless while she does it; she props it up against the wall to get her keys out, unlocks her door and heads in, pops back out with a business card in a vivid watercolor yellow. “It has the address and phone number for the studio on the front, and I put my cell on the back; I figured it couldn’t hurt, considering we live next door to each other. Now you know who to call if you ever have an art emergency.”

He takes the card from her fingers, flips it over just to see the handwritten name and number; he knew her script would be lovely, and it is, easy and flowing and natural. It suits her. He tries not to grin, or flush, or otherwise be awkward about the fact that she just gave him her phone number, however innocently.

“Thank you. We’ll see you tomorrow.” They turn to head for their apartment, and she clears her throat; he smiles a little, turns back, and she’s leaning casually up against the canvas with her arms crossed.

“You know my name now. What’s yours?” She’s just being polite, but he gets the goddamn butterflies again.

“Aaron.” She smiles, something beautiful and a little wild.

“Okay, Aaron. See you outside.” From then on, most of their free time, be it evenings or weekends, is spent at the studio. Aaron isn’t the only parent who sticks around—it’s an art class, not a daycare, he doesn’t feel right just dropping Jack off and leaving him there—and he’s also not the only parent, it seems, who is aware of his beautiful young neighbor.

“She’s incredible, right?” another dad says to him one evening, over by the coffee. Aaron looks him over briefly—it’s a job hazard, he sizes up everyone, but he already has a weird feeling about this guy. “I’ve been bringing my kid here for a month just to look at that little ass running around. My wife just thinks our daughter is just really into art.” He says it with a laugh, like that’s a ridiculous concept. Aaron feels himself start to boil.

“You shouldn’t be disrespectful. She’s doing a great thing here, for the children; she’s not doing it for you to ogle her.” He feels a little hypocritical, because he is also looking, but not like this guy. He knows guys like this. He puts away guys like this.

He glances over at Aaron, looking a little taken aback that someone actually commented on his behavior, then rolls his eyes.

“She doesn’t need you to defend her honor, buddy. She wouldn’t run around here in those overalls if she didn’t want us looking. It’s job security.” She’s wearing the overalls tonight, denim shorts with one of the straps unhooked, a t-shirt underneath, but it’s not as if she’s performing a striptease. She just looks like an artist, covered in drips of paint, smiling as she looks at the kids’ pictures over their shoulders. Aaron really, really hates this guy.

“In my experience, women usually dress for themselves; they probably have pockets, easier to keep things at hand that she may need, and it’s warm in here, so she’s likely dressing for comfort. She’s certainly not dressing for you.”

As if she can sense the tension, she looks over at them, flicks her eyes over Aaron, then the other guy, and walks over with a soft smile on her face.

“Hey, Aaron, Jack really wanted you to see what he’s working on.” She reaches out a hand, wraps it around his wrist and guides him over to Jack’s table. “I figured I’d save you,” she says when they’re out of earshot. “That guy sucks. He’s always saying creepy things to me and Alaina.”

“You should ask him to leave if he makes you uncomfortable,” he says, looking down at her with worry. “I can do it.” She shrugs.

“I would, but his daughter really does enjoy the class, and it’s not fair to her that her dad’s disgusting. It’s nothing we can’t handle.” She squeezes his wrist lightly. “Thanks, though. Hey Jack, show dad your project.” He peers over his shoulder, and it’s a pink and orange skyline, much like the one he saw her painting that first time on the balcony. “I asked the kids to paint my favorite thing today, and that’s sunset.”

“I saw you painting this one night,” he says, and then he feels abruptly like an idiot. She just smiles at him though, nods.

“Yeah, I’m a sucker for a beautiful sunset. It makes you feel like, just because the day ends, it doesn’t have to mean things are over; it’s just one of life’s beautiful natural transitions. And the colors are to die for: peach, coral, jasmine, rose, tiger’s eye.” He finds himself unexpectedly touched by her description, smiles softly to shake himself of the emotions.

“The way you see the world is extraordinary. To me it’s just kind of… orange.” She returns his expression, but softer, and squeezes his wrist again; he didn’t even realize she was still holding it.

“Sounds like you need some art in your heart. I give lessons for adults, too; you could even come over and paint with me on my balcony, some time. Special neighbor privileges.”

The thought of being with her on her balcony while she paints is almost overwhelming, which he finds funny, considering he currently sits no more than twenty feet away. There is an intimacy about it, while they both do their work in the cool, quiet breeze, but standing like this, close enough to touch, with the late day sun on her face while she talks about colors… he’s not sure he could handle it without falling in love.

She pats him on the back, moves on to another child, and he tells Jack what a great job he’s doing; his face is lit up, so happy, and regardless of the neighbor, he’s glad they stumbled upon this hobby.

When they pack up to leave, the jerk from earlier comes up to him, leans in to speak in a hushed voice. “You should have just told me you were fucking her. I would have backed off.” He blinks, but the guy and his daughter are walking out the door before he finds himself able to do more than that. About a week later, he goes over for that lesson almost by accident. Jack is at Jessica’s for the night at his request, and Aaron was planning to order takeout and have a paperwork cramming session, but when goes out onto the balcony, phone in hand to place an order, his neighbor is standing on hers like she’s waiting for him.

“Hey. I saw you don’t have Jack; I made some pasta with vodka sauce, if you’re hungry. I always prepare too much.” He sets his phone on the table, walks over to the railing to get a little closer.

“Uh. Sure. I have fresh basil growing here; trade?” She smiles, nods.

“Yeah, sounds delicious. I’ll be right back.” She ducks inside, returns a few moments later with two dishes of steaming, saucy pasta, sets one down on her table and gets right up against her railing, hands the other over to him across his. “That one’s for you,” she says, handing him an orange plate, and he sets it down, picks a few good looking leaves from his basil plant and tears them up, drops them on top. “And this one’s for me.” She reaches, holds a green plate over the gap between their porches, and he adds some basil to it before she pulls it back, takes a deep sniff. “God, it smells so good and fresh. Thank you, Aaron.”

“Thank you, it looks great.” He goes to sit at his table with it, but she scoots her chair closer to the railing, closer to his balcony, so he does the same. They make easy small talk while they eat, mostly about Jack, a little about her studio and his work.

“FBI, huh? I can definitely see that, with your suits, and your… neutrals.” She cringes when she says it, and it makes him laugh.

“I’m sorry I can’t wear paint covered overalls to the office,” he teases, and she shoots him a playfully affronted look, grins.

“You love my paint covered overalls—and for the record, you’d look great in them. You should find a pair. Preferably not black.” He flushes a little at that, but she doesn’t notice, just finishes up her pasta with a sigh of contentment. “That was so good, thanks again for the basil.”

“You’re welcome; thanks for feeding me something other than the takeout I planned to have.” He stands up, gestures to his apartment. “I’ll wash the plate and then hand it back over.”

“Why don’t you just bring it over and come paint with me for a little while? If you want,” she tacks on, and for the first time she seems a little nervous. “I’m not trying to be pushy, I just think it would be fun.”

It’s not that he doesn’t want to; it would be amazing to watch her paint up close and personal. He’s just also afraid he’ll pass the point of no return if he does it, and he can’t handle any more heartache. He only very recently got to a place where just waking up in the morning no longer causes him agony.

It’s the look on her face, though, soft and sweet and open, that makes his decision for him.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like that.” She grins.

“I’ll unlock the door.”

She’s dragging out her easel when he walks through the door; her apartment is stark white walls with vibrant furniture, artwork, canvases propped up against every bare spot along the wall, paints and brushes and charcoal and pencils on every surface. It’s exactly what he would have expected, warm and lived-in and comforting, very unlike the mostly black and gray interior of his own apartment. She smiles when she sees him.

“Hey! Can you grab that tray of paint on your way out?” she asks, and he picks up what looks kind of like an ice cube tray filled with many different colors, carries it out to the balcony with him. She has a canvas propped up, a little larger than a computer monitor, and she’s gotten started, but he can’t tell what it’s going to be just yet. When he hands her the paint she looks down at it, peers around the edge of the canvas like she’s comparing something. He’s so intrigued, curious about the way her mind works, what she’s thinking.

“What are you painting?” he asks when she picks up a brush, sets it down, picks up another. She smiles at him.

“Well, we’re painting that.” She points to the street, where there’s a rusty, pale blue antique car parked—he says that loosely, because it looks broken down—in the alley. Aaron chuckles softly.

“We’re going to paint that? It’s a little… grim.”

“Yes. It’s part of a series I just decided to create: ‘Beauty in the Ordinary.’” She sighs, and he’s surprised to see that her eyes are a little wet. She wipes the back of her hand over her eyes. “You know Bob Ross, right? Everyone knows Bob Ross.” He nods.

“Yes; the guy who paints the happy trees on PBS.”

“Right. I used to watch him growing up, and I vividly remember something he said once, about needing both darkness and light in life and in painting. ‘You have to have a little sadness once in a while to know when the good times come. I’m waiting on the good times now.’” She sniffles, exhales softly. “I’m waiting on the good times too. Sometimes looking at things like this car, and forcing myself to find something beautiful in it, is the easiest way to get through the day. Does that make sense?” He swallows hard when she looks up at him, because aside from Jack, she has been the lightest part of his life since the first time they passed each other on the elevator.

“Yeah, it really does.” She shoots him a soft, slightly sadder smile, and then explains about the paints a little, shows him the difference in the brushes, lets him feel the weight of them, the textures of the bristles.

She starts painting the car—the background is mostly finished—and he’s more than happy to watch, to hear her talk about her process. She asks if she can use his forearm to mix paints, and he turns it over, wrist up, tries not to smile too hard when she puts some dark blue on him, then white, mixing them and then comparing them to the car on the street. He looks down at her, the concentration on her face, the softness in her eyes, and is met with the sudden desire to brush a line of paint over her nose and make her laugh and kiss her breathless.

“Okay, your turn,” she says when she’s about halfway done with the car. She puts her hands on the backs of his arms, pulls him in front of the canvas so she’s between him and the railing. “You’ve been watching me, so you know what to do.” He has been watching her, but not necessarily for her technique, so he’s a little nervous; he dips the brush in the blue paint but hesitates to make a stroke. “I have faith in you, Aaron. Here.”

She wraps her fingers around his hand, guides him toward the canvas, and together they make a wide, curved line, rounding out the bumper. It doesn’t look half bad.

“It gets easier once you understand the relationship between specific paint, specific brushes, and your hands,” she says softly, and she helps him paint another line. “Are you having fun? You look stressed,” she teases, and he makes it a point to relax his face.

“I’m having a lot of fun,” he says, looking down at her; they make eye contact for a long moment, and she leans a little closer, and he leans a little closer, and then he accidentally dabs a blob of blue onto the canvas. He pulls back, grimaces, deflates. “I made a mistake. You can’t erase paint, right?” She laughs softly, takes the brush from his hand.

“No, you can’t erase paint, but as Mr. Ross would say, ‘There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.’” She gets her fingers close to the tip of the brush, makes a few quick movements, then grabs another brush, dips it in green. When she pulls back, there is a little blue flower growing out of a patch of grass where his blob used to be. He exhales, a little amazed.

“If only the mistakes we make in life were that easy to fix,” he says, and she nods.

“Yeah, that would be nice, but a lot of the time we find a way to turn them into beautiful things eventually. Are you willing to give it another shot?” He says yes, and she guides his hand for a while, then just hovers near it, then just instructs him on what to do. It’s dark before their painting is finished, and she carries it inside to dry, then takes him to the kitchen sink to scrub the paint off of his arm.

“Thanks for having me over; I had a really good time,” he murmurs as she dries his clean skin. She looks up, smiles softly, nods her head.

“I had a really good time too. I’m glad you came over; you’re welcome to join me any time.”

He says goodbye, heads home, looks at his stack of work with a groan, and brews a pot of coffee. He’s in for a long night, but he wouldn’t change his evening for anything. Life is much the same for the next few weeks: school and work, Jack’s art class at the studio a couple times a week, painting on the balcony on the weekend, with and without Jack. When Jack joins them for the first time, she pulls out a big box of markers and thick sheets of paper and he draws elaborate scenes while they talk and paint together. When Aaron makes mistakes, she’s never upset, just turns them into perfect little details that end up being his favorite parts of the paintings.

“What ever happened with your ‘Beauty in the Ordinary’ series?” he asks one evening while they’re painting some ocean waves. “Did I cause you enough trouble with the car to give up?” She looks down at the ground, looks a little shy, then shakes her head and smiles.

“No, you didn’t make me want to give up. I’ve been working on it at the studio. You’ll see it when it’s all done, I plan to hang them there.”

“Looking forward to it,” he tells her, and then Jack tugs on her shorts, shows them the picture he drew of the ocean, too.

Later that week, the team takes a case, and on the day he’s set to come home, Jessica drops Jack off at the studio with the plan that Aaron will pick him up when his flight lands. Due to some weather between where the team is and home, they get a little delayed; he doesn’t want to make Jessica head back out that way almost immediately after dropping him off, but he’s not sure who else he could ask to pick Jack up. It’s almost a stupid length of time before it dawns on him to call the studio.

“Life in Color, this is Alaina.”

“Alaina, hi, this is Jack’s dad—” He has his whole spiel prepared, but she cuts him off.

“Oh, sure, hang on a sec, she’s right here. It’s Jack’s dad,” she says, but it sounds further away, like she’s trying to cover the receiver. After a moment, his neighbor picks up.

“Aaron, hi. Jack said you were working.”

“Yeah, I was, and I’m supposed to pick him up after class, but our flight was delayed.” He doesn’t know how to ask for help with Jack; even with all the time they’ve been spending together, she still makes him a little nervous. Luckily, he doesn’t have to figure that part out on his own.

“Hey, that’s no problem. If it’s okay with you, I’ll just take him home with me. I’ll order pizza, we’ll draw, and you can just stop by when you’re home and pick him up.” He breathes a sigh of relief, runs a hand over the back of his head.

“That would be perfect. Thank you—I’ll owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything. Hanging out with your mini me is reward enough; he’s painting something special for you today, won’t let me see it.” That makes him smile, and he feels so warm at the prospect of picking him up from her bright apartment, seeing his artwork, her smile. After a long, draining day like this one, it’s exactly what he needs.

“I’ll have to remain in suspense until tonight, I guess. Can you let him know I said hi? And thank you, I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Of course. We’ll see you then.”

It’s late, after nine, by the time he makes it home. He doesn’t even take his bags inside, just drops them outside his door and knocks softly on hers. She answers with a smile, ushers him in, asks him if he’d like a drink and gets them each a beer.

Jack is in her room, asleep, so they have a little time to chat; she asks about his flight, his case, and he asks about the studio, and she gets a little shy when it comes to that topic, clears her throat.

“Um. I have Jack’s secret project, if you want to see it. He said I could show you.” He’s not sure why that would make her nervous—at least, until he sees it.

The background is all watercolors, a gradient of rainbow colors starting with pink at the top and ending with a soft purple at the bottom. Over that, in black marker, he’s drawn the three of them, with a big heart around them.

“Tonight’s theme was the thing that makes you the happiest, and he said he’s the happiest when the three of us are on the balcony together. It was… really, really sweet.” She looks up at him, brushes a hand over the crown of her head. “If I’m being honest, that’s when I’m the happiest, too.” He takes the picture from her hands, runs his fingers over it, and smiles, feeling a warm ache in his chest—not like before, not like losing someone he’s never really met, but like finding something he never really planned on.

“That’s when I’m the happiest, too,” he agrees, and when he looks up, she looks determined, like she does when trying to find just the right shade of paint. She takes Jack’s picture out of his hand, sets it on the counter, and then pulls him down by the lapels of his suit, kisses him long and slow. His hands move to her waist, keeping her close, and eventually she pauses for breath, looks at him again, and then wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him some more.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since the first time I saw you—tall and dark and serious, striding out of the elevator. So intriguing, mysterious,” she breathes when they separate again. “I wanted to know everything about you.”

“Are you kidding?” he asks, huffing a laugh. “I’m boring, but you are so vibrant, so full of life; I felt like you were everything I wasn’t, and I wanted to know you so badly.”

“You know me now; would you like to keep getting to know me?” It’s one of the easiest questions he’s ever been asked; he nods, and she beams, and he lifts her into his arms and carries her to the couch, drapes himself over her while she leans back against the cushions, pulling him closer.

They make out like neither of them have a care in the world—god, how long has it been since he’s made out with someone?—her fingers scraping through his hair, his hands on her bare waist when her shirt rides up, and she’s in the process of pushing his jacket off his shoulders when they hear a sound from the other room that startles them apart. Jack.

“I’ll go check on him,” Aaron says, and when he goes into her room Jack is still snuggled up on her bed sound asleep. It looks like some canvases fell over, though, and he stoops to pick them up, then spots the car they painted together. He turns and she’s right behind him, skids to a stop. “I thought you said these were at the studio?”

“They were,” she says, and she looks nervous again. “But I changed my mind about hanging them there. They felt too personal.” He runs his hand over the car and sees where she’s coming from; this one feels personal to him, too.

“Can I see the rest?” he asks. “Only if you want to show me them.”

“You’re the only one I want to show them to,” she says with a soft smile, and she grabs a few more canvases, carries them into the light of the living room. “Beauty in the ordinary, remember.” He remembers, could never forget.

She turns one over, and it’s a kitchen sink, and in the kitchen sink is an orange plate with a fork resting on it—like the plate she’d given him with the pasta on it. She turns one over and it’s a man’s hand, holding a paintbrush, with pale blue paint on his forearm. The next one is a little herb garden on a balcony; the next one is a view from above, of a sandy haired boy with markers all around him. The last one is an open elevator—ripe with possibilities.

When he looks up at her, she’s got tears in her eyes, and one slips down her cheek.

“So, I think I’ve found my good times.” She smiles through her tears, and he takes her face in his hands and kisses the salt from her lips. “I love you,” she says when he pulls back to wipe her face with his sleeve, and he kisses her softly, again and again, and tells her he loves her, too. The next weekend, Jack is at Jessica’s for a sleepover, and Aaron has been enlisted to help with an art project. He walks next door, knocks lightly, and enters the living room; he is met with a very deep, passionate kiss and a smile, and instructions to help move the furniture out of the way.

“I’m really curious what kind of art requires this much floor space,” he says, shoving her couch back against the wall, and she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, a move he has been unable to resist since she did it the first time they had sex. She knows it’s a weakness, exploits it, and he loves every minute of it.

“You’ll see, but I promise you’re going to like it.” When they clear the floor, she grabs a large, rolled-up fabric canvas and lays it out in the middle of the room, then drops three bottles of paint—one is yellow (jasmine), one is orange (peach), and one is kind of pink (coral? He’s still not sure.)—onto it. “You can obviously say no if you want, but I wanted something over my bed with the sunset colors, and I found this…” She steps closer to him, runs her hands down his chest, guides him down for a kiss so delicious he loses his train of thought. “It’s sex art; we put the paint on the canvas, and on ourselves, and… you know, go at it. What do you think?”

He thinks he really, really loves art now, even more than he thought possible.

“So we have paint-covered sex and then you just hang it on the wall? Like regular art?”

“Yep, I got the supplies I’ll need to hang it; letting it dry will probably take the longest. I figured we could shower while it’s drying, maybe go for round two, if you’re up for it.” She moves her hand to his waist, slips it inside his shorts, and he pulls her closer to his body. “Are you up for it, Aaron?”

That is an understatement.

Undressing happens extremely fast, because this is really sexy and they’re kind of in a phase where they can’t keep their hands off of each other anyway. She pulls her hair up onto the top of her head to try to minimize the amount of paint in it, and then she pours paint on the canvas, turns around and drizzles some on his back and tells him to lay down.

“I think we should probably change positions often so we get a lot of motion on the canvas; I apologize to your old knees in advance,” she teases, but she soothes the sting of her words by pouring paint on herself and then laying between his legs and licking at his dick. “Do some stuff with your hands; I want to see those big handprints on my wall,” she murmurs, and he groans, puts his palms down in the paint and drags them through it.

She leans up a little, sliding her knees through some yellow paint, sucks him fully, deeply into her mouth for couple of minutes, and then stretches forward and puts an orange hand right in the middle of his chest; the look in her eyes is playful, and he reaches out with one finger, hooks it under her chin, and guides her off and up so they can kiss.

“Your turn,” he says with a smirk, and then he gets her onto her back and ducks between her legs, hopes she doesn’t grab for his hair like she usually does. He rubs his pointed tongue over her clit, waits for the mmm it always elicits, and looks up at her, covers each of her breasts with a paint-covered palm and squeezes. “Leave handprints for me,” he leans up and reminds her, kissing her stomach, and she plants her hands, then presses up and grabs his shoulder, smearing pink down his back. “Oh, you wanted more of that?”

“Don’t tease me, the paint will dry,” she whines, and he spreads her thighs wider with his elbows and licks her pussy quickly, until she’s squirming against the canvas and panting for more. “Come here, come here.”

He’s not ready for that, though, paint or not, wants her to come from this; he takes his hands off of her, dips them in the paint again and presses down, then puts his hands under her ass and brings her closer so he can fuck her with his tongue, quick and deep and slick.

“Aaron, Aaron, god.” She slides her hands down his arms, over his neck, digs her nails in when she comes moaning like music.

While she catches her breath, so gorgeous, she sticks her arms out like she’s making a snow angel, and he catches her while she’s off guard and turns her onto her stomach, puts his hands on the smears of paint he’s already left on her ass, and slides inside.

“Oh my god; I was trying to impress you with this sexy art project, but you’re rocking my world.” She’s breathless, pressing back into his thrusts and painting with her entire body. God, he loves her mind.

“You know I always take your projects very seriously,” he says, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, and she groans, laughs.

“Yes you do. From the side? Let’s lay diagonally.” They shift, and he hooks his chin over her shoulder, kisses her neck and huffs hot against her hair. “Hmm, love it like this,” she sighs, and she reaches back to press her hand to his hip, holding him while he moves inside her. “I love you.”

“Love you. I want you to finish on top of me,” he instructs with a wet kiss to her throat, and she nods against his lips.

“Yeah, next; I’m getting close.” A few more strokes and she gets up onto her knees, lets him lay back, propped up on his arms, and climbs on top of him; she kisses him slow and dirty and then runs her hands over him, sits back on his dick and glides up and down. “You wanna come like this too? I owe you a little world rocking,” she says with a flick of her tongue over his bottom lip, and he nods, squeezes her thigh.

“It’s the least you can do after making me move all the heavy furniture.” She rolls her eyes but kisses his chin, down his throat, and bounces harder on him, all delicious eye contact and moans. “Mmm. Just like that, baby, come for me.”

“Fuck. I will, I will.” She wraps a hand around the back of his neck, kisses him kind of rough and with lots of tongue, and then tips her head back and climaxes, clenches, wrings his orgasm out of him so quickly it’s almost jarring. “Oh, yes Aaron. So good,” she mumbles, and then he lays back, out of breath, and she slides out of his lap and lays beside him, out of breath too.

After a moment, she looks over at him, smiles, and swipes a pink fingertip over his cheek.

“This is the hottest thing I’ve ever done with anyone. I’m glad I got to do it with you.” He rolls on top of her, presses a kiss to her nose, and nods.

“Me too. You know,” he adds after a moment, “my bedroom could use some artwork, too.” She grins, wraps her arms around him and squeezes tight.

“You’re right; I think we should do yours in blue: liberty, that’s dark blue; periwinkle, that’s light blue; maybe steel gray, too.”

“You’re the expert. I’m just your paintbrush.” Her hands smooth up his back, and contentment washes over him like a warm breeze.

“Hmm. I like the sound of that. Want to get cleaned up?”

Cleaning up is almost as fun as making the mess, because they’re well and truly covered, and when the canvas dries, the sunset colors are almost as beautiful as the ones she used the first time he ever saw her paint. Taglist ❤️: @arsonhotchner @mrsh0tchner @ssahotchie @sleepyreaderreads @mintphoenix @meghannnnnn @disgruntledchowchow @azenpal @g-l-pierce @my-rosegold-soul @ssamorganhotchner @heliotropehotch @angelhotchner @qtip-blog @gspenc

[sarah-in-disguise]

Open It

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Female Reader (Knives Out AU - no murder here!)

Warnings: swear words, shouting, multiple medical terms and phrases (PCOS, cancer, mass, fertility, pregnancy, etc.), angst, fluff, soft!Ransom (at least with the reader).  Flashbacks in italics.

Summary: Over the course of a few short hours, your life flipped upside down.  Plans for yourself.  Your future with Ransom.  All the pieces you’d used to build a foundation for your future, blown away in the breeze.  What does your future look like now?  And, most importantly, will Ransom be in it?

Word Count: 3032

A/N: This story is very personal for me, but I know a lot of you here on Tumblr can relate.  It was a very cathartic process to write it all down and get it all out.  While I have a great support system of family and friends to help me through this situation (read more about what’s going on here), I can’t help but daydream and wonder how one of my favorite CE characters would react.  I love soft!Ransom, so I hope this delivered!

Disclaimer: I do NOT consent to have my work posted, translated or published to any third-party site or app.  This is a work of fiction and I do not own any characters in this story.  By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.  Moodboard picture sources are Google and Canva.

Make sure to check out my masterlist!

Numb.

You didn’t know any other word to describe how you were feeling right now.  Over the course of a few short hours, your life flipped upside down.  Plans for yourself.  Your future with Ransom.  All the pieces you’d used to build a foundation for your future, blown away in the breeze.

A few months ago, your PCOS started acting up.  This wasn’t all that uncommon - most people with PCOS noticed different symptoms every few years as their hormone levels changed.  Originally, your symptoms had been more of an inconvenience than anything else.  Long, heavy periods, an occasional migraine, a bit more facial hair.  Everything was easy to fix with a birth control pill and a mild hormone replacement pill that you took twice a day.

When you started seeing Ransom two years ago, you didn’t even mention it to him at first.  Ransom’s reputation clearly preceded himself, and neither of you were looking for anything serious.  A year into your relationship, you forced him to at least sit down and discuss where this was headed.  After admitting to each other that you’d never been happier, you set aside a few days for a long weekend getaway to discuss things further.

Surprisingly, both of you were open to marriage and to the idea of kids someday.  You also agreed that neither of you were ready for those steps anytime soon - you were both relatively young, and he didn’t want to rush in and have this relationship turn out like his toxic parents or other family members.  The only piece you were adamant about was that you wanted to be married before having kids, and Ransom didn’t have any problems with that, either.

He’d even given you his pinky ring that weekend as a promise ring of sorts, telling you to keep it until he had something more permanent for you in the future.

You’d brought up your PCOS that weekend, and even after talking about how it might impact your fertility someday, Ransom assured you it wasn’t an issue.  In his words, “I’ve got money if we need to go down that road, sweet girl.  Don’t worry about it”

And you hadn’t, until a few hours ago.

When you went in for your yearly checkup with your OBGYN last month, you’d brought up a few new symptoms you had experienced.  Again, this wasn’t uncommon to have changing symptoms as you got older, so your doctor ordered a few tests to see what was up.  “Just a formality,” she explained.  “It will help us rule a few things out so we know what our next steps should be.”

Except this morning, you found out that the tests didn’t rule anything out.  Instead, they found the culprit - a softball-sized mass on one of your ovaries.

The good news was that it wasn’t likely cancerous, but they would biopsy it when it was removed just to make sure.

The bad news was…more complicated.

“Since you have history on both sides of your family of endometrial and ovarian cancer, plus you have history in your family of getting cancer at an early age, I strongly recommend you get a full hysterectomy in the next two to three years.”

Your mind was swimming with information and everything was coming at you so fast, but the only response suitable for this situation was simple.

“What?”

With a look of sympathy, your doctor continued.  “I know we’d discussed how your PCOS would work with your future plans for having kids in five or six years, but based on how fast this mass came up, I’m strongly suggesting we move that plan up if we can.  There’s just too much risk waiting around a few extra years when they will likely lead to another mass and a high risk for cancer.”

“Oh.”  Looking down at your hands, you nervously start fiddling with Ransom’s pinky ring.  It was a nervous habit of yours - one Ransom learned soon after he gave you that ring.  Unfortunately, Ransom wasn’t there to notice.

Sitting on your bed, you were still twisting that ring around your finger.  Ransom would be home soon, and you still didn’t have any idea how you were going to tell him.  Sure, he knew you were going into the doctor, but you were both expecting this to be a minor appointment.  An adjustment to a medication.  Maybe even a few more tests to narrow results down.

Not a softball-sized mass and a hysterectomy in two or three years, effectively cutting your timeline for marriage and kids in half.

While you should be worrying about your health, you were more concerned with how Ransom would react.  What if he wasn’t ready for this timeline?  Would he want to take kids off the table?  If he was stuck on the timeline and didn’t want to give up kids, how did you fit in that future?

After all this, do you even fit at all?

When you left your doctor’s office, those thoughts were a mere whisper.  You knew Ransom, and you were just starting to convince yourself that there was nothing to worry about.

That is until you ran into Linda on the way out to your car.

Exiting the medical plaza, you sit down on a bench outside the front entrance, close your eyes, and take a deep breath.  You want to call Ransom, but you know he is in a meeting with a potential new author he and Harlan wanted to bring into Blood Like Wine.  He’d drop the meeting for you in a heartbeat, but after a few more deep breaths, you convince yourself you can wait until he gets home.

Fate, however, wanted to throw you one last curveball.

Standing up, you start walking to your car.  As you dig in your purse for your keys, you accidentally bump into someone, causing your appointment notes and surgery details to scatter on the ground.

“Excuse me!  Do you not have eyes?  Do you know who I am?”  You knew that disgusted voice anywhere.

Linda.

Before you even think about collecting the paper scattered around you, you muster up a small smile and look up at Ransom’s mother.

“I’m so sorry, Linda.  I wasn’t paying attention and I was looking for my keys.”

“Oh, it’s you.”  As you start collecting your paperwork, Linda continues.  “You look like shit.”

Huffing out a laugh, you continue stuffing papers into your folder.  Ransom’s parents, especially Linda, made it very clear from the beginning that they didn’t approve of you.  Unlike the endless line of women Linda paraded in front of her only son, you didn’t have a wealthy, well-known family to fall back on.

What you did have was your education, a stable job, and parents who actually loved you - but that didn’t matter to Richard and Linda.

Just then, a breeze came and caused your last piece of paper to take flight.  Before it could get too far, Linda used her designer shoe to stomp it to the ground.  As you were reaching for it, the paper was snatched up in Linda’s eager hands.

“What even has you so preoccupied that you can’t -”

At Linda’s abrupt stop, your face pales.  Your mind scrambles as you stand up.  Trying to figure out what piece of paper she managed to snatch up, all thoughts stop as she starts laughing.

Your heart sinks as you confirm your fears, spotting your appointment summary sheet in her hands.

After a few seconds, her laughter dies down.  Throwing the paper in your direction, you catch it as she leaves her parting words.

“Ransom was so blind before, but he won’t be able to ignore this.  The only reason he’s kept you around is to warm his bed and pop out a few kids when the time comes.  Now that you can’t even do that, maybe he’ll see you for what you really are.  Worthless.”

Worthless.

That’s the word your mind was playing on repeat as you sat on your bed, spinning that ring round and round.

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the front door slam shut or Ransom’s loud footsteps as they climbed the stairs to your shared bedroom.  In fact, you didn’t register anything until your own bedroom door was thrown open, colliding with the wall behind it.  Ransom quickly started to pace the room, mumbling incoherent thoughts under his breath.  From previous experience, you knew it was best to let him pace and blow off some steam - but you had too much swimming around in your head to remember that today.

“Ran, are you OK?”

Stopping dead in his tracks, he spins to look at you before shouting, “DOES IT LOOK LIKE I’M OK TO YOU?!”

The next events were ones you’d seen early on in your relationship, long before you knew it was best to let him pace and calm himself down.  If you let him do that, he’d eventually come to you in an hour or so to calmly discuss his frustrations.  If you didn’t let him do that, he often screamed and shouted at whoever was closest and would listen.

Today, that person was you.

“There we were, Harlan and I, meeting with this new author.  Everything was going well until Walt walked in and fucked everything up.  We almost had the contract finalized before that shithead waltzed in and started bitching about terms of the deal he didn’t even have any fucking say over.  Can you believe it?”

On a normal day, you knew whatever Ransom mumbled under his breath wasn’t directed at you.

Unfortunately, today wasn’t normal.

“What a worthless piece of shit.”

A small gasp leaves your mouth as you look up at Ransom.  There’s that word again.  Worthless.  Using the little strength you have left, you look at him and whisper, “what?”

Huffing, he turns to look at you before yelling, “I said, WHAT A WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!”

Faster than your mind can think, your legs carry you to the bathroom.  Slamming and locking the door behind you, you collapse to the hard tile as the first sob rips from your chest.  

Slowly, Ransom recovers from the initial shock of your reaction and rushes to the bathroom door.  Jiggling the handle, he swears under his breath.

“Kitten?  I’m sorry for yelling, sweet girl.  Can you open up the door for me?”  You can’t even hear him over your sobs.

Over the next few minutes, your crying dies down and you finally hear Ransom apologizing and asking you to open the door.  Standing up, you scoff at your tear-stained face and puffy eyes in the mirror, but it’s too late to do anything about that now.  Slowly, you walk over to the door and open it up, meeting a very concerned Ransom.

Instantly, you’re wrapped in his strong arms, causing the tears to start again.  When he starts pressing kisses to your hair, you wrap your own arms around his abdomen and hang on for dear life.  Eventually, he picks you up bridal style and sits down on the bed, settling you on his lap.  After a few more minutes holding each other in silence, he clears his throat and tips your eyes up to meet his.

“I’m so sorry, kitten.  There’s no excuse for blowing up at you like that.  You don’t deserve to be treated like that by anyone, let alone me.”

Sensing his regret, you start apologizing as well.  “It’s OK, Ransom.  You have every right to be frustrated, and I’m usually better about reading the situation and knowing when to leave you alone to calm down.  I should’ve just walked away when you came in.  It’s just,” sighing, you look down at your hands and start spinning Ransom's ring.  “I’ve got too many other things to think about today.”

After a few seconds, Ransom places one large hand over yours to stop your spinning.  Using his other hand to tilt your head up to look into his eyes, he responds.

“Stop apologizing, sweet girl.  You did nothing wrong.  Now,” lifting your hand up, he places a kiss on his ring.  “You’ve been spinning this ring since I got home.  What’s wrong?”

Looking down at your linked hands, you answer.  “Did you remember that I had my follow up appointment with my OBGYN today?”

“Yeah, you mentioned that this morning.  What did your doctor say?”

You take a deep breath and let it out and take a moment to study his perfectly blue eyes before you continue.  “They found a mass on one of my ovaries.”

Ransom, for once in his life, is speechless.

Taking his silence as an opportunity to continue, you push on.  “It’s about the size of a softball, and they’re going to have to surgically remove it and the ovary in a few weeks.  They don’t think it’s cancer, but they’ll do a biopsy after surgery to make sure.”

Breathing out a sigh of relief, Ransom smiles and kisses you on your forehead.  “Hey, we can get through this, kitten.  Surgery isn’t great, but at least the outcome looks good, right?”

Tears start brimming your eyes again and you force yourself to look away from his excited features.  Once again, his hands stop yours from twirling his ring.  This time, he doesn’t immediately make you look up at him.

“What else is it?”

A few tears roll down your cheeks, but Ransom turns your face towards his to cup your cheeks and wipe them away.  “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it.”  Pressing his lips to yours for a quick kiss, he pulls back.  “I promise.”

Bracing for the worst and hoping for the best, you start the harder half of the conversation.

“Do you remember that trip we took last year when we talked about the future?  Like if we were open to marriage, kids, stuff like that?”

“Of course, I do.”  It was Ransom’s turn to start fiddling with the ring on your finger.  “That’s the trip that I gave you my ring.”

For a brief moment, you catch yourself smiling at the memory.  Unfortunately, just as quick as the smile came, it fades away.

“What I’m about to tell you is going to throw a wrench in those plans, Ransom, and I want you to know that I understand if this is a dealbreaker for you.  If things are moving too fast and you want someone else who fits the plan we agreed on, I’ll completely understand…”

“KITTEN!”  You flinch at Ransom’s sudden outburst, but he’s quick to apologize.  “Sorry, but you’ve got to tell me what’s going on.  This talking in circles isn’t helping anyone.”

Welp, you think.  Here goes nothing.

“Since I have a history of endometrial and ovarian cancer on both sides of my family, my doctor is strongly recommending I get a hysterectomy in the next few years.”

You’re met with silence as Ransom processes through this new information.

“How many years is a few years?”

“Two, maybe three.  I don’t think you know this, but I’ve had two female cousins and one aunt get cancer before they turned 30.  Because of that, she’s concerned I’ll get cancer at a young age, too.  I can’t get ovarian or endometrial cancer if I don’t have those parts inside me anymore, so the sooner I get rid of them, the better.  Ultimately, if I want a chance at carrying my own biological children, I need to start trying now.”

Immediately and without any explanation, Ransom dumps you off his lap, gets off the bed, and walks directly into his closet.  You jump when you hear a drawer slam, but before you can fully react, Ransom’s back at the bed.  Pulling you to sit on the edge, he drops down on one knee in front of you.

Tears fill your eyes as he shows you the ring box in his hand.

“You’ve had to do a lot of talking today, sweet girl, so it’s only fair I get to talk for a while, OK?”

Nodding your head up and down, he smiles.

“Even though we decided on that trip last year we were going to wait and take our time before getting engaged, I knew you were the one.  The day after we got back, I contacted our jeweler so we had plenty of time to design the perfect engagement ring.  After sending in some pictures of your jewelry and giving some input of my own, we came up with this.”  Lifting the closed box up a few inches, he continued.

“The minute I saw it, I immediately knew this ring was meant for this finger.”  Picking up your hand, he placed a light kiss on your left ring finger.  “I knew right then and there I was ready to marry you.  Hell, I’ve almost proposed twice in the last few months, but I knew we had a plan - and I know you well enough by now that once you make a plan, you stick to it.  But you know what I think?”

“What?”

With a smug grin, he responds.  “I think this is the universe’s way of telling our plan to fuck off.”

For the first time all day, you release a full blown laugh - and the smile on Ransom’s face couldn’t get any bigger.

“We can get married today, we can get married next month, or we could wait ten years.  No matter when it happens, I know for a fact that I’ll always choose you.  So, we can throw our plans out the window or I can put this box away and save it for a few years down the road.  Either way, I’ll always end up with you, sweet girl.  So, what do you say?  Am I opening this or not?”

Without thinking, you pull Ransom’s face to yours and devour his lips with an eager kiss.  Tangling your hands in his hair to pull him closer, he wraps his arms around your waist to draw you in.  Your body buzzes from the passion and lack of air, and soon you’re forced to break apart to breathe.

It isn’t a hard decision, so why wait?

“Open it.”

[cryptiql]

smoke signals

pairing: dabi/m!reader

warnings: smoking, mentions of anxiety and abuse, but otherwise okay. please do not read forward if any of the listed warnings might trigger you in any way, and stay safe <3

words: 6.5k

a/n: this is my first ever mha fic and the fact that i decided to do dabi first shows i have some massive balls but i'm giving it a try! if he seems ooc at all or i get some facts wrong, please lmk and i'll fix them. (heavily inspired by smoke signals by phoebe bridgers—would recommend listening to it or any of her other songs while reading)

dabi found the meaning of life in a simple strum of chords; a melody twisted by melancholy tunes that resonated deep within the gates of his mind. they haunt him—either by breaking his conscious from a much needed rest to bring him tossing and turning in the damp air of the loft, or making sure that he stayed wide awake during the late hours of the night and well into the creeping day. the lyrics are so surreal that he has to sit down and contemplate their meaning like an english teacher would to the color red, but they're painted saccharine and drip with honey flowing from the mouth that sings them and he hates it. he hates that he's wasted moments better spent wrecking havoc just to understand that stupid little ditty that clings to his heart like a leech. but this song did not come from his own craft—no.

dabi had known the putrid stench of sweat and vermillion blood when the flames licked at his skin, breaching the coarse flesh of his palms to rain hellfire upon all those who dared oppress him. he could weave lies with knots that would take years to unravel, and set whole cities ablaze with a mere finger. clawing oneself from a well built to drown them in their trauma does tend to leave scars on ones hands, and dabi's body was practically a canvas for mutilation, so he could consider himself an expert on the matter. he could attempt to make such a song by strapping in with his many hours of free time and diligent persona, but his hands were not made for music; neither delicate, sonorous tunes or dark, grating strains. they were made for war.

so if anyone had asks, "no" is his answer. "i don't play." and yes, it is while he's drumming a rhythmic beat that he claims this to be true, but the last thing he thinks about is donning a set of drums during his free time. he's far too distracted by the image of your taper fingers curled around the neck of your guitar to consider anything else.

the gentle but keen plucking of chords startles him from yet another ridiculously long-winded spiel by shigaraki, and dabi swallows a strangled groan behind his grinding teeth. it's in his head, now, and so far the only thing that has succeeded in reaping it from his memory—if only for a few minutes—is the blood stained battlefield that he's found himself fighting on far too many times this month alone.

what's he complaining about, though? it's not as though he minds getting down in the dirt. in fact, he's ecstatic to dig his claws into any gruesome ordeal so long as it benefits him in some way, so why is he so invested in this little to and fro game of twenty questions with the likes of you; someone as significant in the world as a paperclip without paper to hold? why come back, despite there being nothing in it for him besides a series of migraines?

not from you, a voice answers from inside. you're an absolute pleasure.

dabi nearly snarls at the confirmation that his own mind is turning against him, and as he does this, a plume of smoke erupts from his lips, billowing and curving to create intricate patters before dissipating into the atmosphere. a second time. a third. a fourth drag from the cigarette has completely obscured his face from anyone's view, and he relishes in the instant of privacy it gives him. however, it has also blocked him from seeing everyone else in the room, and while he normally would have considered that a blessing, it appears tomura has had enough of it.

you get headaches because you smoke too much, comes a second voice; yours, scolding in a way he'd only expect from a worried mother. dabi only has a split second to register it before shigaraki's head pokes through the fumes, red eyes alight with rage and lips pulled back into a snarl.

"would you quit doing that inside? it's fogging up my brain and i can't think straight." he grates.

"strange—i assumed there wasn't a brain in there to fog up in the first place." tomura's nostrils flare and dabi's pride spikes.

"besides, you came in here and looked directly at me as i was smoking—why didn't you ask me to stop then?"

"i was telling you with my eyes, idiot. you should know when it's time to either take it outside or put the damn thing out. there are ashtrays for a reason, and not everyone here wants to inhale that shit." he interrupts their intense staring contest only to wave his hand to clear the smog. now he can see the rest of the league clearly (oh joy, he thinks) and gives an indignant grunt when spotting toga at the bar table, covering her mouth and nose as a pitiful aim to block her lungs from the smoke. twice, who had unfortunately used up the last pack of his own cigarettes that morning, leans forward to take a whiff, exhaling soon after with satisfaction.

kurogiri stands at his usual spot behind the bar, seemingly unaffected as he idly scrubs away at grime infested glasses, while sako lounges at the opposite end of the room. his mask is on, leaving dabi to wonder if it's been like that all day, or if he just recently put it on to better fend off the fumes. he doesn't really care, whatever the case.

after a beat of silence, dabi wets his lips to respond, a lopsided smirk growing on his features.

"oh, i'm sorry your frail body hasn't adapted to a bit of vapor in the air. and with that flakey skin of yours, it's no wonder you're extra sensitive—"

shigaraki's hands come flying through the next waft to slam against the tabletop where dabi's feet lie, causing it to wobble and creak in protest. the ravenette doesn't even flinch as the harsh, raspy words are spat in his face.

"if you're not going to pay attention, then leave. actually, i'd prefer you do that either way."

and dabi would have happily disregarded his request if not for the faint ringing in his ears, rising higher and higher before receding back into his skull like the tide. a scowl morphs its way onto his once vacant expression as he puts pressure on his temple, rubbing softly where his eyebrows knit together. just for today, he'll indulge his so-called boss's whims. the piercing screech that emits from below when he pushes his chair back does nothing to help with the ever-growing headache, but it hardly matters now that he's headed out the exit. he's able to catch the last fragments of shigaraki's raving before the door closes, leaving him to stand amid the tumult of the city in all of its glory.

the alleyway is dark with looming shadows, but people are still milling about, so dabi considers himself lucky for already being dressed in his disguise. he flips his hood up, pulls the surgical mask over his nose and quickly slides on his sunglasses for good measure before slipping out into the traffic, sometimes going with the flow and then weaving past those moving too slow for his liking.

right now, his patience is a mere thread; hair thin and on the edge of snapping whenever someone bumps his shoulder. their negligence is infuriating, and he's tempted to roast them into a charred, mangled mess then and there—the consequences of blowing his cover be damned—but by some miracle, he manages to refrain from doing so. it takes about five minutes for his temper to shorten to the length of a matchstick, and he knows that one more shove will be what strikes it. dabi pauses for a moment to crane his neck, allowing the sea of people to flow around him like a stream to a rock as he searches for an alternative route. it appears as though he'll have to take his chances with the crowd until he hears the repetitive ringing of a bell and a man's voice calling for passengers to board. public transport was risky, what with him being a menace to society, but he can't possibly be the single most shady dressing person on the train, right?

he wouldn't bother answering his own question when daylight was burning, so dabi pushes himself from the swarm and leaps for the streetcar just as it begins pulling away from the stop. there's a shuddering jolt before the passengers settle in for their departure, and as his palms squeeze the metal railing in response, he notices the peeling red paint clinging to the car's exterior and finds himself staring at it for a ludicrous amount of time, not thinking about anything in particular.

the rickety trolley is semi-packed with civilians, none of whom regard his presence with anything more than a noncommittal glance. good—that makes his job ten times easier. to his chagrin, it runs over more than a few opposing train tracks or crudely paved bumps in the road, and this causes the whole cart to jostle before stilling completely, the process repeating itself over and over.

the knowledge that his trip to the outskirts of town is a short one is the only thing that calms his nerves.

when dabi finally arrives at his destination, the sun is gradually descending from its peak in the sky, and the clouds are more like wispy tufts than the luscious, cotton candy lumps they were just hours earlier. overhead, the baby blue hues turn to shades of opal; a forewarning of rain. the feelings of irritation and malice from earlier are still bound to him like chains that threaten to snap him in half when drawn too tight. the crippling weight causes his feet to drag along the gravel path at a sluggish pace, his own hot breaths fanning against his face from behind the mask. if anyone actually lived out here and they were to see him, their first impression would be that a living corpse had just waltzed onto their property. it was just his luck, then, that you were the only person out here, and by extent, the only one not deterred by his appearance.

even so, dabi's mind kicks into gear. was this a good idea? he doesn't even know why he came here—he just needed a place to blow off steam and his body had already made the choice on its own. this isn't any different from all the other times, though, and he can't ignore the fact when it sits in the pit of his stomach like an anchor. you're always the first person he goes to at times like these (dabi subconsciously rules out the man working at the local 7/11 who sells his liquor cheap, though he's still appreciative of the bottle to numb his thoughts). that tells him more than he wants to know.

your house is quaint, like those old country cottages he sometimes sees pictures of, and squats on a large, grassy mound of earth surrounded by heaps of rocks and sand from the neighboring beach. it merges with a towering lighthouse, and dabi notes that there must not be any sailors due to make port yet, otherwise the light would be on. the second thing he takes in are the flowerbeds sitting under your two front windows, and how they look withered and close to death.

"i wanted to add some color, but i can't keep plants alive for shit." you had said, huffing in amusement to yourself as you tended to the weeping alliums. "succulents are the only exception."

a small pot of them sits on the windowsill, but they seem to have gotten to big for it; the rubbery leaves spilling over the cracked rim. he hardly registers how much of a stalker he must look like until he stands on your welcome mat, peering through the dirty glass panes to find you nowhere in sight. the lights aren't on, so he can only see the outlines of furniture when bands of light stream in to reveal them.

sitting back on the balls of his feet, dabi curses under his breath. it's not like he was expecting anything. how was he supposed to know whether or not you were home when you had no way of telling him?

"jesus, patch!" a shout startles him from his brooding, but he doesn't let it show as he looks towards to ocean. you're hauling yourself over a large rock to wave him over, wearing a familiar grin. so that's why he couldn't see you. dabi makes careful work of leaping over jagged stones and threatening to bake any nosy seagulls as he makes his way to where you sit, with your favored instrument slung over your shoulder. the ghost of a smile graces his lips when he recalls how you would have scolded him for being mean to the birds, but that was before last week.

"pesky fucking bastards—they keep shitting on my music sheets!" another seagull waddles into your vicinity, only to squawk in distress as you shoo it away with your foot. "i wonder if this is natures way of telling me to quit while i'm behind. . ."

after breaching the treacherous terrain and nearly scraping himself in the process, dabi squats on the stone beside yours, looking up at you with hooded eyes. you meet his gaze with nothing short of merriment and a shake of your head.

"if someone had seen you, you would have been arrested on the spot for being a peeping tom." you chuckle, combing a hand through your hair with a smirk. "what? you lookin' you catch me in the nude or something?"

dabi scowls, choosing to ignore the question rather than give into the bait. as if i would be satisfied by looking at anyone but you in that state. he swats the air as if it would drive the notion from his mind like a bothersome fly.

"in the middle of fuck-ass nowhere? i'd never get caught."

"aw, don't be like that. if you really wanted a peek you could've just asked." the mocking tone in your voice spurs him to smack your thigh, which earns a hearty laugh in reply.

"ooh, don't treat me so roughly, or i might begin to like it!"

dabi has had more than enough experience with your flirtatious tendencies, and he feels he should have gotten used to it by now, but his heart still clenches every damn time. the worse part? he can't say that he minds. you don't give him a chance to respond, but dabi hasn't a clue what he would have said, so he lets you continue, watching intently as you rifle through your bag to fish out a guitar pick. shifting into a crisscross position, you perch the guitar on your lap and begin tuning the strings, idly talking about how uneventful the past days have been. dabi pretends not to have heard that it was because he wasn't there to visit, and instead gives his attention to the lighthouse in hopes that you won't see the faintest of reds dusting his ears.

five minutes pass before you actually start playing, and even then, it's only a few experimental notes here and there that help you build towards the perfected melody.

it's too sweet for his taste; dabi swears that's why his stomach turns so ferociously and prompts him to lean against the boulder to his right for some sort of stability. he won't even humor the idea that it's because of the way your lips twitch into a near half-smile before melding back into a concentrated frown the moment you strike a wrong cord. an embarrassed flush captures your cheeks as you study the music sheets, briefly pressing down on them when a sudden breeze flutters the pages. the pencil that was once tucked behind your ear now sticks out from one corner of your mouth, a flash of pink and orange melding together when you go to absentmindedly gnaw on the wood.

many more minutes fly by, and you've long since abandoned the new tune just to pick up an old one. dabi's back straightens at the first set of strings you pluck, and he recognizes them as the same ones that have been playing on repeat in his head since the day you met.

dabi's heart hammers in tune with every footfall that slaps against the pavement, tearing through the small pools of water that grow with every second. it hasn't stopped raining since the chase began, and there isn't an inch of him that hasn't been soaked through. still, something good must come from this little dilemma—the burning sensation that clings to his arms has almost settled down. the silhouettes of trees merge with inky blackness when he blinks, and he reaches with trembling hands to wipe the droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes.

a yellow square of what assumes to be light shines in the distance, contrasting wildly adverse to the darkness that sweeps him up from under his feet and pushes him forward. the sound of police sirens has been reduced to a mere memory in the time that was running, but he isn't about to risk going back to the league's base in fear of a stakeout waiting to get the jump on them. besides, why stop there when the possibility of shelter awaits him?

the bottoms of dabi's shoes are slick with mud, and blades of grass have snuck their way under the cuffs of his jeans to scratch at his skin. the sensations paired with the numbing cold are beyond uncomfortable, but he won't have to worry about that once he gets inside—that being if the person inside doesn't put up a fight.

he'd expect them to be mad if they did anything except that, no matter how welcoming the house looked. dabi's instincts tell him that someone out this far from the city doesn't a have a lot of connections, and thus killing them wouldn't cause an uprising if it were needed, but the minute he grips the doorknob, a thought occurs. if they have a quirk, its power could level my own or even surpass it. . . he grits his teeth. but like hell i'm going to let them win.

the hesitation vanishes in an instant as dabi turns the knob and thrusts himself inside, wielding a blue flame in his dominant hand to further illuminate the room. the wind is so fierce that it pulls the door shut for him, and the villain finds himself staring down the unperturbed figure of another man, perhaps around his age, hunched over a stove and glaring at a steaming kettle. they lock gazes, and almost immediately, the kettle gives a high pitched whistle. you look away first, lifting the pot and turning the burner off whilst opening the cupboard overhead to pull out two mugs, both of which adorn ugly christmas-themed patterns that dabi wishes he could forget ever seeing.

his glare hardens when you move to the table in the far corner and begin pouring what he assumes to be tea, taking one cup into your own grasp and leaving the other at his own disposal. your one mistake is grabbing your phone from the counter, but when dabi's flame enlarges, you hold your arms up in defense. then, before he can even formulate a proper threat, you toss the phone to him. he catches it easily and observes the dark screen, masking his astonishment with a more sinister expression.

the only other move you make is to drape yourself across a cushion on the window seat with an acoustic guitar in hand. you look more relaxed by the second despite being cornered by a dangerous criminal, and dabi has to refrain from voicing his shock when you address him with an almost bored tone.

"if the tea isn't to your taste, there's more in the cabinet. shower is down the hall to your left, and there's a spare bedroom upstairs to the right. do whatever the hell you want, just don't burn the place down or touch my freddie mercury records."

dabi is stuck to the spot for one of three reasons, he determines. one, your attitude has surprised him into a stupor that not even hiw own will can break. two, his refusal to believe that you're handling this situation in a calm manner is really just his defense mechanism kicking in, and he won't move until proven that you won't do anything when his back is turned. and three, you're quirk is similar to that of madusa's and you've successfully turned him into a fleshy mannequin.

"if you're worried about me calling the cops, what you're holding is the only working phone here. the power is out due to the storm, so my landline is dead, and the nearest form of help is a crippled old widow five miles west. i'm not going to risk running when i'm up against someone with a quirk."

dabi considers everything said, but never once allows his fire to dim. he took the surrounding area into account while making his escape, and he can see the landline is in fact out of service, so the male's assurances checked out. hell, the light source that guided him here was nothing but an old-timey oil lamp. the fact that you're quirkless does him a great amount of good as well.

with cautious steps, dabi makes a beeline for the bathroom, but he stops halfway to stare at you again. you respond by quirking a brow and kicking your feet up, something akin to mischief in your guise.

"i can take the shower with you since you're so afraid i'll make a break for it." you drawl, and dabi snarls, a fowl cuss bubbling in his throat as heat crawls its way up his neck.

"why, with a blush like that you might not need any drying off~."

dabi decides that he's had enough and storms down the hall, already peeling off his dripping clothes and and silently promising that he'll burn the guy to a crisp if he so much as tries to catch a peek. he can hear you calling out in hilarity even as he slinks into the shower and attempts to drown you out with the static-filled haze that captures his senses.

"the name's, y/n, by the way!"

try as he might, dabi had never been able to keep from coming back. now the reason why has been revealed to him on a silver platter, and he won't even spare it a glance.

your soft singing snaps him from his reminiscing as he stretches his legs, stifling a groan when something pops as not to disturb you. while digging through his pockets for a cigarette, he stops momentarily for fear of forgetting how to breathe when he lays his sights on you. you're in your own little world; everything else—him included— seems to have disappeared as you play from the heart. you need no standing ovation, no adoring fans or fantastic lightshows. you've said it once, that fame and glory mean nothing to you, and that you have all you could ever want or need right here, nestled in the beachside view of what you call home.

"and i have you." a cool breeze ruffles your dirt stained overalls as you reach up to wipe a bead of sweat from your forehead. the sun beats down on you, never shining half as bright as your smile, and the shore kisses the boulders with waxing and waning waves of aquamarine; frothy, foamy masses washing up with it to carry lone strands of seaweed. "otherwise i'd go mad without your company."

okay, that was lie. the truth is right there, practically spitting in his face how much of an idiot he is for trying to deny it, and dabi is glaring right back at it. he feels like an impatient kid on christmas eve, sneaking glimpses of gifts under the tree and feeling like he's committed a felony after getting caught. and you do catch him.

"penny for your thoughts, patch?" there it is—that stupid nickname. it's always been laced with mirth when you call him as such, but now it's replaced by genuine curiosity. and is that a hit of concern he hears? you study him with pursed lips and stony features that gradually morphs into that of concern when the silence stretches on. dabi forces himself to sneer at you, and something stirs inside his chest when you don't flinch.

he hates it. he hates you.

dabi nods to the sky, a guarded noise building in the back of his throat as he tugs on his earlobe.

"s'gonna rain." your jaw visibly clenches, but you humor his evasive habits just like you always have, looking to the clouds, which have darkened considerably in the last hour or so. it's around this time that the weather patterns become more unpredictable, but you've noticed the distinct lack of rainfall in spite of the gathering storm brewing overhead. you could sit out here for a while longer without much activity in the sky, and it would take more than a little shower to drive you inside, especially when you finally had the chance to enjoy some quality time with dabi. you notice the way his shoulders droop and the tension from his facial muscles all but disappears when he sits amidst the smell of fresh salt water and unpolluted air—the weight of his past slowly but surely ebbing away. you'd like to hope you have some part in that. oh god, do you ever hope.

you plead to whatever omnipresent being above that he's not just here to hit a blunt without getting reprimanded for it, or that he's making these daily visits out of pity.

"nah. it's been like this for a little while—looks like a storm will hit, but then it passes before it even begins." you sling the guitar back over your shoulder and gather up your music sheets, eyeing dabi from your perch. you're challenging him now, and normally you would never dare force him to speak if he didn't want to, but something about his aura is off. you can sense it in his words; the very air he breathes; and it compels you to hold him close, if only he would let you.

"so, you gonna tell me why you're avoiding the ques—" a deep rumble interrupts you, and dabi lets out a sigh of relief that you're thankfully too distracted to hear. a single drop of water hits your nose, followed by another, and another, and—

"you were saying?"

"oh shut it." you don't get to finish speaking, for a crack of lightning strikes the far end of the beach, scattering sand in every direction. you just barely manage to scoop up your belongings before sliding from the rock, but your footing betrays you and send you stumbling to the ground. dabi is there to catch you, wasting no more time in hauling you to your feet and rushing you as carefully as possible through the jagged maze. he can't refrain from smiling when you splutter a string of profanities pass poorly hidden laughter, an unmistakable "FUCK ME!" spilling into the cold evening when you accidentally stub your toe on a particularly sharp stone. it's pouring within seconds, and no sooner do you reach the doorstep do you both realize how sopping wet you are.

the last thing you think of is your chattering teeth, however, when you see dabi's spiky tufts of hair dripping with residue and his electric blue eyes gazing into yours. what you do think is that for the first time in your painfully ordinary life; your twenty three years of mediocrity and progressive isolation from the world around you; you have found the single person who understands your struggles and has chosen—for some unfathomable reason—not to abandon you. you wish you could say your parents were the same, but you also have scars from a distant childhood that brought you to this place.

this old lighthouse is your home, yes, but dabi is your sanctuary. he might as well be a god by how often you worship him from afar, wondering if ever you'd be so lucky; so eternally blessed; as to call him yours.

you don't register that he's opened the door to let you both inside until a cozy warmth envelopes you. no, wait, that's dabi's fire. it should terrify you that the same man who threatened you with those flames is now at arms length, but you trust him not to hurt you in any way, and so you lean into the gentle licking of heat on your skin, humming in content as your shivering comes to a halt.

dabi's fear of burning you diminishes when you flash him a grateful smile, a whisper of thanks echoing across the walls and pummeling his heart without resistance. he averts his eyes with a curt nod, a feeling like molasses weighing down his tongue and drowning the words he wants to say.

"you're welcome." is all he can muster.

half an hour later, your guitar is drying by the hearth and the two of you are huddled on the window seat, nursing cups of coffee and watching the storm in a comfortable silence. you haven't blinked in a while, meaning you've wandered off the tracks of consciousness as suspected, and pretty soon, you start singing quietly to yourself; the deep crooning used as background noise to your aimless meditation. dabi nudges your calf with his foot and is rewarded with a brief quirk of your lips and a nudge back. he doesn't have the patience nor the brain power to decipher how long this goes on for, but it doesn't matter.

this is fine. the image of red hair and a tall, intimidating figure invades his train of thought, and dabi curls inwards on himself. this is fine.

but it's not.

trembling, he places his mug on the table before retracting back into his seat, clasping his hands together. he tries visualizing the ties of his life coming together to form a rope. the fingers on his left—memories from his past—linking together with those from his right—memories made with you. his palms connect, bringing instant relief with the knowledge that he's here now, practically nestled between your legs, out of harms way. you're both fine.

dabi takes the swelling anxiety and pretends to crush it within his fist; clenching and unclenching it until his peace of mind returns.

"penny for your thoughts, patch?" you ask again, still in somewhat of a trance. this time, dabi answers.

"why do you call me that?"

you're caught of guard, half expecting him to ask why you haven't turned him in to the authorities. you've seen him without his disguise, you know his name, and for the past eight months you've been socializing with him like normal human beings do. that's more than both of you could have said in the past. of all the burning questions, he chose that one? "i've heard 'patchwork' and 'staples' and just about everything in between. why shorten it to patch?"

you gape at him, opening your mouth, then closing it, and so on. the pitter patter of rain against the window has ascended into relentless pelting. it sounds like gunfire to dabi; assaulting his ears in floods; but to you, it's nothing more than a waterfall hindering your view of the ocean. the deep breath you take seems to put more suspense in the atmosphere than needed, and it makes dabi's heartrate quicken for an entirely different reason, yet he makes no sign of stopping you.

"because my first thought whenever i see you is how much you remind me of a doll." oh. what?

you can tell by dabi's reaction that that wasn't what he was expecting, so you gesture for him to wait. he isn't sure he likes the forlorn expression you're wearing.

"typically, when kids first get a doll, they treat it like glass and make sure to tend to it with love. other times, doll owners are reckless and tear them apart just to stitch them back together like nothing happened. you use that camouflaged to blend in with the public, and i'm lucky enough to see what's under it. . .but sometimes i wish you'd keep the mask on so i don't have to see you upset."

upset? a fizzing sound erupts from his palms that he struggles to put out. he's not upset.

"don't try to hide it. you're always scowling when you think i'm not looking, or when you forget i'm even here, and i know it's because someone broke you without the intent of fixing you up."

once more, red clouds dabi's vision, and he moves to stand up.

"you had to clean up after their mistakes because no one else would, but instead of reusing the bits and pieces of your old self, you burned them. you destroyed any and all evidence of who you used to be and now you're patching yourself together with parts that aren't your own, because you don't want to hold onto what happened. though, something tells me you still haven't let go, otherwise you wouldn't be so angry."

"you don't know that!" he snaps, but he knows it's not true.

your hand closes around his wrist, and dabi recoils with such strength that it yanks you from your seat. dabi doesn't want you to let go, no matter how much he thrashes in place, because the sensation of your skin on his grounds him. somehow you know this, and you give a comforting squeeze to his pulse.

"but that's not all i see. because dolls are beautiful, and it's the ones who still love them after they're broken that they need the most. no one's told you they think you're beautiful, have they?"

dabi shakes his head, refusing to meet your gaze even when you cup his cheek with your free hand tilt it towards you. every touch is filled with hesitancy; feather light and more intimate than anything dabi has ever witnessed, let alone experienced personally. with the way you hold him like he's water in your hands, your eyes overflowing with a love he hasn't known in forever, dabi knows he won't find another feeling like it. you're not the embodiment of good—at least not by society's strict standards—but at least you can sit there and say you've committed a crime. you've never bloodied your hands by hurting others, much less gotten a thrill from doing so, and that's why he pulls away. he has to, because dabi is a harbinger of war, and if he holds you any closer it will only be to kill you.

he says something; a snarl mixed with a broken plea that he prays will make you stop; and you do. his silent victory doesn't last for long, though, because then you're using both hands to cradle his face and fuck, the pads of your thumbs grazing his scars feel like heaven. "won't you let me be the first?" how could he say no? how, when the taste of honey and whiskey is so addictive that he's already drooling into the kiss and willing to beg for more; when your mouth slots perfectly with his and dabi begins to wonder if he's stumbled right into the scene of a cliché wattpad story. the idea causes him to huff out a growl, and although neither of you can talk, he can imagine how strongly you must want to poke fun at him for the action. he can feel you smirking—the smug little bastard you are—and dabi ponders how long it will take to reduce that attitude of yours until you're submitting to him.

not yet. he chastises himself, completely unaware that you're currently thinking the same thing. dabi kneads the flesh of your hips through your jeans while you comb your fingers through his hair, gasping sharply between bruising, wet kisses and keening when he leans down to nurse your lips with soft pecks afterword. you're still trying to process the fact that you've coerced this devious criminal into making out with you in the pale glow of your seaside residence, but for the moment, you need not concern yourself with the details. you've forgotten all about dabi's ego and how this whole situation is no doubt feeding its flames. his grip on your waist is making you too delirious to care.

"fuck." dabi's breath is staggering when you finally pull back, an aura of clarity and desire hanging between the two of you.

"y-yeah. . .that was. . ." you can't produce a word, or even a paragraph to describe it. you know you're going to hit yourself later for admitting such a banal phrase in the midst of what could be classified as your very first kiss, but that is neither here nor there, and you would rather suffer an agonizing death than let dabi find out that he stole your first. you're too preoccupied envisioning all the other firsts to come, so you don't notice the way he stares at you like some precious jewel, but his fingertips brushing your bottom lip succeed in snapping you out of it.

"hm?"

dabi goes quiet, contemplating what to say as the thunder moves abroad and the rain comes to an end, leaving the house in a numbing state of tranquility.

"why not call me doll, then? it'd be easier."

you chuckle in response, playing with the hairs at the base of dabi's neck and making sure not to miss the way he melts into the affection. "i thought that'd be moving too fast." and dabi; still drugged from your kiss and what he can only hope is love; rasps out a genuine laugh, cupping your jaw with a tenderness that makes your knees weak.

"you offered to take a shower with me the night we met, and you think a nickname is moving too fast?"

you stick your tongue out at him, and dabi resists the urge to grab it, even if it's just a bluff.

"would you have let me call you that anyways?" you ask, something hopeful ridden in your tone. dabi feigns consideration as he looks to the ceiling, snickering when you smack his chest. eventually, he murmurs what you audibly hear as "brat" before resting his forehead on yours, an impish glint in his gaze.

"no."

you turn your chin up at him, giggling when he nips at the skin. dabi knows just as well that your attempts at escaping him are halfhearted, so he encircles his arms around your waist tighter, delighting in the flush that paints your cheeks.

"then i think i'll settle for my love, or darling, if that's alright with you."

dabi can't fend off the blush for his life, but he's not afraid if you acknowledge it. he can get you back easily, and he plans to. "fine by me, doll."

[angeli-marco-writes]

Dean & Seamus - At Last

A/N - 1.8k word blurb I completely forgot I wrote. Bringing this out of the archives, enjoy.

Warnings - slight cursing and angst, fluff, mutual pining.

Summary - Years of tiptoeing around one another and hidden feelings come to a head when Seamus finds a stack of art beneath Dean's bed. At last, something might happen.

“Hey Dean?” Seamus calls, breaking the silence of the half empty common room.

The two of them sitting together on opposite ends of a very comfortable and very small sofa with feet entangled in a contorted knot is not a rare occurrence, and everyone knows that the two like to be as close as possible. Dean has a notepad on the arm of the sofa, artistic pencils on the coffee table as he sketches away to his heart's content, while Seamus has a pack of muggle cards, teaching himself card tricks.

“What is it?” Dean replies, glancing up from his notepad to meet Seamus’ sympathetic gaze.

“Do you still have that muggle magic book? This isn’t going great.”

Dean chuckles, rubbing sleep from his eyes with the heel of his palm, deep brown eyes twinkling under the dim light from the candles. The way he watches Seamus when he isn’t looking is with nothing but pure adoration, not necessarily the way that friends should look at one another.

“Dean?” Seamus calls, suddenly much closer than before, kneeling in front of Dean’s legs now curled beneath him without his knowledge of putting them there.

“Uhm, the book? Yeah, it's under my bed. Careful you don’t find a banshee under there.” Dean says jokingly, curving his arm around Seamus’ torso to bring him closer, discarding his art for a moment, savouring the sound of Seamus’ laugh like music to his ears.

He stops thinking, and just exists for a second, only able to do that when Seamus is so close to him, chests pressed together, hearts beating as one, breath mingling and all inhibitions lowered. If he had a little more belief that Seamus shared his crush then he’d go the final step, bringing their lips together for more than a fleeting moment. If only he knew that Seamus in fact felt the same, equally as strong, equally as lovesick and just as scared of rejection. So for the meantime, they stuck to their own personal affections.

“I’ll be back in a minute, and I’ll call you if there’s a banshee.”

With a fleeting kiss that Dean pressed to Seamus’ cheek, the latter had disappeared up the stone stairs to the dorms.

On his way up, Seamus finds himself thinking non stop of the way Dean’s soft lips felt pressed against his cheek. Not like they haven’t kissed before, but every time it excites him, still bringing butterflies to his stomach after four years.

Their first kiss was in a game of juvenile truth or dare in second year, where Seamus revealed he’d never been kissed, and Dean was then dared to kiss him. That was the moment, for Seamus at least, that he’d realised he was gay - or at the very least, not straight.

It was half way through third year that the two had grown accustomed to holding hands and sharing clothes, stealing cheek kisses and cuddling on the odd night. None of this changed, even now they’ve become sixth years.

Seamus throws the door open to the dorm and leaps across to Dean’s bed, forever more comfortable than his own. He lies over it, inhaling Dean’s scent that he’s so used to wrapping him up whenever he sleeps. Oak and paint. The strangest perfection. After a moment of thought, he pulls up the west ham blanket, the oversized knitted quilt that the two made one Christmas night when they got far too cold, and finally the red sheets so that he gets a better look beneath the bed, which just so happens to be crammed full of random shit.

“Bloody hell Dean,” he sighs with a gentle smile, lighting his wand and sliding off the bed onto the wooden floor, preparing himself for a search.

Seamus sits and sifts through piles of books covered in dust, albeit in neat piles and just about alphabetised (all much more organised than his own), and a couple of boxes before he finds their old magic book.

Just as he moves to put everything back in its place, he comes across a locked trunk of chestnut wood and gold edges. It’s triple locked by the looks of padlocks atop the built in securities. But Seamus can’t help thinking, what does Dean have to hide from him? He’s always said “what’s mine is yours”, and that they know everything about one another. What could Dean possibly be so ashamed of that he didn’t even want Seamus to see? Chuckling at the first immediate thought, he pulls the box out and peers through a crack. It looks like… old notebooks?

“Cistem Aperio.” he utters the words used to unlock the trunk, only to find out that the padlock is a fake one and that the box itself only had one lock. Maybe the faux measures were to stop the other boys finding it, and not Seamus, but once opened, he’s astounded.

Piles of notepads and sketch pads fill the border of the box, but what’s in the centre is the most disconcerting. It’s Seamus, on canvas, ten times over. All from different angles, painted with watercolour or acrylics, all at different stages of completion because on some, the pencil lines are still apparent. Sure, Seamus knows that Dean is a bloody good artist, and Dean’s asked him to be a model once or twice, but this is another level. And even though he probably should, he can’t find it creepy.

He turns over a couple of the older canvases dating back to the bottom one, a mix of acrylic paint and heavy pencil shading. ‘Seamus, 7th April 1994; I wonder if you think of me half as often as I think of you.’

His heart stops just for a moment. Does dean… no chance. No way, there’s no way that Dean fancies him too. He could have anyone in the school, why would he fancy his dorky Irish friend?

He takes out a couple of the pads, opening to reveal pages of sketches of Seamus. The two together, Seamus at the lunch table, by the lake, with other people or asleep in Dean’s bed. Just the sight of Dean’s talent makes his belly flip. The curved pencil lines, the soft brushes of his coloured pencils, the perfect shading wherever it needs to be in the different photos. Each one has Dean’s signature, a date and a title in the bottom right hand corner., but some are a little more smudged with, tears?

He grabs the most recent sketchpad and tucks it beneath his arm, going to open a note pad filled with dozens of poems and quotes, but the most common one hits him hard.

‘You have to let it all go. The way he kissed you, the way he smelled, the way he touched your waist and pulled you in. You have to let it go and you have to let him go. Because he’ll never love you that way, he’ll always be your friend, and he’ll never be yours.’

That’s essentially all the confirmation that Seamus needs to realise that Dean’s liked him all this time. How could they have been so stupid, avoiding each other and never confessing?

He rips the page out of the notebook and runs out the door, the leather bound sketch pad bouncing in his clutch. He bounds down the stairs as ungracefully as possible, taking them two by two, his shoes resounding on the stone and hereby making a racket that the whole common room can here.

Seamus appears at the bottom, breathless and flushed as opposed to covered in soot, but his eyes are filled with a new flame.

“Dean,” he pants, eyes darting over to where he's curled up in the same spot as before, knees tucked under his chin with an art pad on the arm of the sofa, tucking his extortionately expensive pencil behind his ear when he sees Seamus all hot and bothered.

He stands, towering over everyone as he takes quick strides across the room, his breath hitching when he sees the sketchpad tucked haphazardly beneath Seamus’ small arm.

“Sea, please,” he begs, eyes brimming with tears to match Seamus’.

They stand an awkward distance from each other for a minute before Seamus takes the final step and closes the gap, gripping Dean’s tie and pulling him a little closer to his own height.

“Did you draw these of me?” Seamus asks with a raspy, trembling voice, filled with anguish and longing.

“Yes.” Dean murmurs softly.

“Did you write these poems about me?” he waves the tear stained page of perfect ink in front of Dean, making the taller boy swallow thickly.

“Yes.”

“Were you ever going to tell or show me?”

“Maybe one day.” Dean says guiltily, averting his eyes to the floor for only a second before meeting Seamus’ intense gaze once more, the flames behind the freckles on his cheeks a little intimidating.

“Do you, do you love me?” Seamus asks finally, taking a leap of faith, one that is finally reciprocated.

“Yes. Yes, so much.”

That’s all the ammunition that Seamus needs to tug Dean’s lips to his own, crushing them together and engaging in a fiery kiss of nothing but long awaited passion and love. Their tears dissipate as Seamus weaves his arms around Dean’s neck, and his curl around Seamus’ waist, lifting him up like he weighs nothing. Seamus deepens the kiss, licking along Dean's bottom lip to request an entrance which is more than eagerly granted, allowing them to explore each other's mouths finally. Dean lets out a muffled moan when Seamus bites down on his lower lip, the most heavenly sound Seamus has ever heard. Dean squeezes the ass that rests on his hips just for a moment before sliding his hands beneath his jumper, his dark palms running over Seamus’ milky skin, the perfect contradiction.

They become so enveloped in their bubble of passion, tongues dancing tantalisingly together, that they forget they’re in the common room, awkwardly withdrawing when the need for oxygen becomes too dire.

However, instead of the angry shouts and disgruntled faces they expect, it’s actually faces of sheer relief and lazy smiles all around.

“About bloody time!” Ron shouts.

Dean chuckles softly, lowering Seamus to the ground. The pair scrabble for their stuff, grasping it in uncoordinated handfuls, stuttering apologies before darting upstairs. Once at their dorm, they slam the door shut and throw their belongings elsewhere without a care, fighting over who gets to pin the other against the door.

“Have we really been dancing around our feelings since we were twelve?” Dean asks, trying to keep his focus on the time being while Seamus works tirelessly at the bottoms of his shirt, leaving kisses everywhere in his wake.

“Yes we have. And that means we have five years to make up for now.” Seamus quips, bringing Dean’s lips to his own once more, moving to enjoy their time together, at last.

[star-puff]

for all the time we’ve passed by one another ;

futakuchi kenji x reader

warnings: agent!au ; mentions of alcohol consumption, swearing, might cause flipping of tables, futakuchi being a little shithead

wc: 1k

to the number one futakuchi fucker i know, @seijch ​ i l*ve you 🤬🤬🤬 anyway this was all born out of a full word vom session i had with ari at like 3am when i was supposed to be asleep but instead she just gave me kenji brainrot . no one can love that little slug man like you can bestie <3

pt. 1 of 2

If yesterday you were told you’d have one last day at this unfairly gorgeous beach resort, you’d be hard-pressed to believe it would ever end with you sitting on the sand with Futakuchi, watching the sun set beneath the edge of the sea.

“Good work," he says, clinking his cocktail glass against yours. "Even if I did most of the job."

You give him an incredulous stare before retorting. "I'm not gonna hear it from the guy who thought the gardener did it for most of the week."

“Excuse me, you’re telling me you heard that he disappears into town every weekend and didn’t think something was up? If anything I was being the most analytical about the whole thing.”

“Futakuchi, he’s sixty-five and has four grandkids that live there.”

“And he willingly spends time with them?” Futakuchi takes a swig of his drink. “Like I said, suspicious.”

You roll your eyes, taking a sip of your own. “Well, just be glad we got the real culprit before we handcuffed an elderly man for tourism fraud.”

"You know what they say! What is life without the tears of rich people quenching the thirst of the poor."

"Futakuchi."

"I'm kidding."

You frown, doubt written on your face. "If there's another case at the bureau about rich people getting scammed within the next month, just know you'll be the first person we’re questioning."

He has the gall to look offended, his jaw dropping as he sets his glass down on the sand, nestling it carefully in its own little pocket before continuing. "Me? After all I've done for you? I'll have you know I didn't save our asses last December just to have you accuse me of criminal activity.”

You snort. “Right, saving my ass after you fell on yours and gave away our location while we were trying to corner him. A lifesaver, truly.”

“It was icy!” he protests, letting out an indignant noise. “You fell twice before we even got to the scene, I just got unlucky at the worst time.” Futakuchi huffs, leaning back on his hands as he stares into the horizon.

The sun is already halfway sunken, the sky a wash of pastels on a cloudless canvas as the day comes to a close. You hear a few birds tweet in the distance, the soft push and pull of the water that you can almost feel on your toes. Maybe it’s the alcohol you’ve been drinking for the past hour that loosens your tongue, or the peace and quiet that rarely comes after a day's work, but you feel as though if you don’t say your piece now, a chance like this will never come again.

“We did good today,” you acknowledge quietly. There’s a tinge of seasalt in the air. “Both of us.” You pause for a moment, not even wanting to look at the man next to you. “And thanks. For always having my back.”

You ready yourself for his teasing, but it never comes. When you peer at Futakuchi from the corner of your eye, he smiles a bit, half grin, half smirk, something genuine in the way the corners of his lips turn. “Any time. What are partners for, right?”

He turns to look back at you, a ring of gold glowing behind him, and the sound of the waves comes to a halt.

He’s your partner, your other half. The only person that knows you like the back of his hand, who’s ingrained in himself your small quirks, your habits, your preferences for even the tiniest of things. The one who knows exactly which buttons he needs to press to get on your nerves, who understands what makes you tick, just like you do for him. Even if you could spend a lifetime arguing with him about the pettiest of things, this fact would remain forever unchanged.

Somewhere, somehow, Futakuchi had become an irreplaceable part of your life, an anchor in a sea of chaos. 

Your breath hitches—you blink once, twice, before you realize that Futakuchi is closer than before. You’re afraid to move, to even breathe, already anticipating the inevitable second that this small moment of intimacy shatters at your feet.

But time has come to stand still, you realize distantly as Futakuchi leans in further, his hand coming to rest on your cheek. There’s the faint smell of citrus and alcohol in his breath, his palm warm as it gently touches your face. You wonder if he can see the rosy pinks and golds of the sky in your eyes like you can in his. 

Time begins once more.

You take the final plunge, leaning in until your lips graze his. And then, his hands slip to your shoulders, and he jerks away.

"We can't," Futakuchi says, more force than what you're used to hearing from him. You try not to let the hurt show. We can't, but what he means is he can't. 

"I, I don't—"

"We can't," he repeats, quieter this time. The words are static on his tongue. "We're partners."

Your heart drops at the reminder, reality ramming into you at full speed. Partners, and not in the way you want to be.

He’s not yours. Not in the way that has him inviting you out for dinner on weekends, not in the way where you know what his relationship with his parents and older sister is like, what his favorite color is, what he likes to do after the day is over and he goes home to his shitty one-bedroom apartment.

(But you thought you knew. You thought you knew without needing him to tell you, and maybe that was the entire problem.)

You can still feel the ghost of his lips on yours, the heat of his gaze under the warmth of the setting sun. Not that it matters much anymore, not when all that’s transpired in the last few minutes is only seen as a mistake.

“Right,” you say faintly, barely even a whisper. “Right, sorry. Guess the alcohol got to me a little. Just forget about it, okay?”

Futakuchi opens his mouth to say something else, but you’ve already gotten up from your spot and turned away, clutching your drink tightly in your hand. The ice has long melted into the liquid, condensation slick on your fingertips.

A cold breeze blows past; the sun has long fallen.

[actress4him]

Overexposure - Punishment

(Prompt #3 for Whump of July)

I haven’t been in a writing mood much lately. Then suddenly last night, I realized writing wasn’t the issue, the issue was that everything I was working on or had planned was angst, and as much as I like angst, I was in the mood to beat the crap out of somebody. Ellery seemed like a good candidate. Sorry Ellery (but not really). This also happened to line up with today’s Whump of July prompt!

Taglist: @inky-whump , @michelleswhumpyreblogs Previous | Next | Masterlist

Warnings: lady whumpee (male whumper), creepy/intimate whumper, restraints, gag, claustrophobia, broken ribs, mild blood, torture, graphic burns, mild gore, mild emeto, mild dehumanization

.

.

He hadn’t even bothered to uncuff her or remove the gag. What seemed like hours had passed inside that tiny, dark closet, curled up uncomfortably on the floor with bottles and broom handles pressing into her from all sides and waiting for Lucas to come back for her. When he had finally appeared, he had yanked her up and herded her out to his car, popping the trunk and shoving her inside. It was terrifying. Not only because she’d never been locked in a trunk before, but because she knew he was still furious at her. Whatever she was headed back to, it was going to be bad.

Now they’re back at his house, she’s out of the trunk, but by the way he’s dragging her by the arm through the halls she almost wishes she was back in it. He opens the door to the basement and maneuvers her until she’s in front, still propelling her forward despite the fact that she’s fighting not to stumble in her one heel and one bare foot.

One moment his grip is leaving finger-shaped bruises in her skin. The next moment she’s pitching forward and his hand is gone. Ellery only has a split second to panic before she’s hitting the stairs, hard, pain shooting up through her hip, but then she’s flipping and tumbling and sliding and it’s all just a blur of falling and hurt until she comes to an abrupt halt by slamming into the concrete floor at the bottom. 

Then she screams through her gag.

Everything hurts. Whatever meager healing her ribs had been able to manage has been completely undone, her whole side is on fire. It’s very possible that there are even more broken ones now than before. Her stomach hurts, her arms hurt, her legs hurt, she’s pretty sure she caught her foot on a step at some point because her ankle really, actually feels twisted now. Something is making the side of her head feel warm, and it’s doubtful it’s anything good.

Lucas drops into a crouch next to her, looking her body up and down before settling his gaze on her face. “You’re incredibly lucky that I was able to come up with a convincing lie tonight, Princess. But a breakdown like that, in public, can’t ever happen again. Once, I can make them buy anything. Twice, it’s gonna be a lot harder. Which means I’ve gotta make sure that you remember your lesson tonight.”

She nods, vigorously, despite the stabbing pain in her temple at the motion. Yes, yes, I’ve learned my lesson, please… but Lucas isn’t even watching her. He’s already stood and moved away to the shelving unit, browsing to see what kind of torture tool he can find. 

“Ooh! Haven’t tried this yet.”

The phrase makes her heart stop beating without even knowing what he’s referring to. But when he turns and strides back toward her with a candle lighter held proudly in his hand, it kicks into double time. 

No no no no, please, don’t, please no… It all comes out as a pathetic series of grunts and moans as she kicks against the floor, trying and failing to move away from him. Lucas straddles her, still standing and holding that lighter, and reaches down to flip her over by her arm. There’s suddenly far too much air hitting her bare back. Ellery sobs, still futilely pulling at the cuffs as if she can somehow escape her fate. 

She’s not at all prepared for the flame to hit her skin. She’s been burned before, of course she has, she likes to cook and burns come along with that. But those were quick. Accidental. The brief touch of a finger to a pot fresh off the stove, the bump of an arm against an oven door. 

Lucas flicks on the lighter, brings it up to her shoulder blade, and holds it there. Holds it while she screams and cries, while her skin begins to bubble and char. Sits down on her legs to keep her still so she can’t squirm away from him.

“Fascinating.” He leans in closer, studying the mess he’s made. Ellery has to assume that the lighter is turned off now, but she can’t feel it. Her shoulder hurts just as much now as it did a few seconds ago, and the smell of burnt flesh makes her retch.

“I’ve never gotten to watch something like that before. You know, I’ve never been much of a drawing, painting type of artist, but I bet…”

The lighter turns back on. She knows for sure now, because it drags across her back, slowly, leaving a scorched line behind it. The only good news is that it draws her mind away from the pain of the first burn. Without being fully aware that she’s doing it, she tries again to pull away. It’s instinctual. Something is hurting her, and her body wants to escape. But Lucas just uses his free hand to press her shoulder down into the concrete, and continues the waving motions over her back. Between the tears and the pain, she can’t see straight, can’t even think. All she can do is sob and choke out broken off wails and pray that it will end soon.

It doesn’t.

Nearly every inch of her back has been burned by the time Lucas finally gets off of her. He even yanked at and ripped the dress at one point to get to more skin. She’s not sure how she’s still conscious. She wishes she wasn’t.

Standing, Lucas stretches, cracks his knuckles, and admires his work. “Hm. Not necessarily professional quality, but not half-bad, I’d say. Can’t wait to see how it looks tomorrow, or when it scars. Gonna make some interesting photos, that’s for sure.” He yawns, stretches again. “I’m beat tonight, though. Come on, Princess.”

He leans down and grabs her by the arm again, actually being slightly patient as she struggles to get up now that he’s got the anger out of his system. Every movement, no matter how small, sends burning waves rippling across her back, and more tears slipping down her cheeks. Guiding her back into her cell, he finally unlocks the cuffs, though bringing her arms around to the front makes her dizzy with pain. 

“Be good in the morning and maybe I’ll get you some cream for those. Don’t wanna do it too soon, though, ‘cause I wanna make sure they scar good.”

The door closes and locks, and Ellery sinks slowly, stiffly, onto her bed, trembling all over, his words echoing in her head. She’d been naïve to think that she’d get out of this place without any scars.

Maybe she’s naïve to think she’ll get out of here at all.

For the longest time she just sits there on the edge of the bed, consumed by the pain, unable to make herself move. It feels like it’s burning through her core, eating away at her insides, that soon she’ll be able to look down and see the front of her dress bursting into flames. She’s never felt so much pain at once in her life. 

Eventually, she convinces one arm to lift, to gently, slowly tug off the glove on her sleeveless arm that hid her broken finger. It hurts, but she does it. Lifting both arms to remove the necklace hurts worse, but she does it, too. When she tries to stand, though, desperately needing a drink of water from the sink in the corner, it’s too much. She falls immediately back to her knees and loses the meager contents of her stomach. 

The combined pain from her back and broken ribs is finally enough to send her over the edge and into blissful unconsciousness.

It’s not until the next day, when she’s able to glance over her shoulder at her reflection upstairs while she’s prepped for photos, that she sees fully what he did to her. Angry, raised red lines cover her back in an intricate, swirling pattern. Like she’s a canvas. An object, simply there to decorate and be decorated. It’s the way Lucas has always treated her. 

And maybe he’s right. Maybe that’s all she really is.

[some-kindofgnome]

Kinktober #11: A Little Restraint: Eijirou Kirishima

Kirishima buys you a new toy. Then he asks you to use it on him. 

Characters: Eijirou Kirishima x f!Reader

Warnings: smut (18+ please!), bondage, aged up characters, oral sex (m and f-receiving), vaginal sex, dom!reader and soft sub!Kirishima, aftercare

Notes: I’m running out of title ideas. Did I say that yesterday? Doubly so today. But I haven’t posted anything with Kirishima since day one!! This dude is one of my favourite comfort characters, honestly. We stan a hero who drinks his respect-women-juice 💖 

Today’s prompt was “restraints,” and I honestly thought about Kirishima tying you up, but... this way sounded so much more fun. 

Kinktober Masterlist 

Sex with Kirishima never gets boring.

When you first started dating, you couldn’t keep your hands off one another. You were fucking at least twice a day; desperate to make up for all the time you hadn’t known one another. Now, six months later, you’re starting to think that desire might never fade.

Granted, real life has gotten in the way of your twice-daily boning sessions, but the want is still there. Proven every time you stumble in the door in a tangle of limbs. Every time you creep through the quiet morning, picking up the trail of clothes you left behind the night before.

Tonight, he’s handsier than usual. It’s giving you ideas.

“Got somethin’ for ya, babe,” he’d said to you one night, appearing in the living room with a shipping box in his hands. You’d made it pretty clear in the past that you didn’t need him to earn your favour with gifts, but he’d looked so excited to show this one to you- you couldn’t help your curiosity.

You’d flipped open the cardboard flaps, only to be faced with a pair of thick leather handcuffs in the bottom of the box.

“You planning on arresting me anytime soon?” You’d teased, though you remember the way your cheeks instantly heated, too. You weren’t stupid. Those were no standard-issue cuffs.

“Naw, I thought…” His cheeks were red, too, as he waved you off. But he’s brave and he trusts you, so he kept going. “I thought we could use ‘em in the bedroom.”

“On me? Sure, I-I’ve never really done that before, but…”

“No.” When you looked up at him again you caught a swell of intent in his gaze. “On me.”

Oh. Oh.  

Kiri’s usually the one to take control when the two of you get into bed. He likes setting the pace of things, worshipping you from head to toe. Taking his time. But, as it turned out, he’d been thinking about this for a while. He loves it when you get on top. And he has to exercise such control in his day-to-day life… he wants to give it up every once in a while, to somebody he trusts.

When he’d first put it like that, there was no way you could refuse. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t have some switch tendencies, anyway.

That’s why tonight, as he’s laying you down on the bed, you grab his wrists. Hard. He stops, looking down at you in a moment of flustered confusion.

“Why don’t we keep your hands off tonight?” You growl. You see the realization take over his expression, and he swoops down and catches your lips with a fleeting but very loving kiss.

“I love you,” he growls, tucking his face into your neck and kissing you there.

“Love you, too,” you mumble back, curling your fingers in the front of his shirt. You give his chest a little push, forcing him back. “Now undress.”

The blush is creeping decadently down the back of his neck as he steps away from the edge of the bed, tugging off his shirt and letting it flutter to the ground. Before it even touches the floorboards, he’s fumbling with his belt, tugging it open and shoving his pants to the ground. When he comes back to you in just a pair of crimson boxer-briefs, it’s with the promising swell of his growing erection tucked against one thigh.

He climbs onto the bed, falling onto his back. He looks up at you with the light of adoration in his gaze. Christ, you’re so lucky to have him.

You climb off the bed, stripping down as you cross to the dresser. The cuffs are tucked into the bottom drawer, and by the time you turn back with them stretched between your fingers, you’re clad only in your bra and thong.

From across the room you can hear the growl ripping from his chest. He props himself up on one elbow, watching you take your time as you come back to him.

“Damn,” he chuckles, reaching for you. You slap his hands away and take a step back.

“Are we gonna have a problem?” You hold the cuffs out in front of you. He swallows hard and lays back against the pillows.

“Wait… no,” you sigh. “Roll over. On your belly.”

You can tell he’s losing sight of where you’re taking this, but he rolls over anyway. He trusts you so fully it’s almost heartbreaking. You promise yourself not to misuse that.

As you kneel beside him, he turns to rest his cheek on the pillow. He continues to stare- you can feel his eyes flicking over your body, even as you reach over and carefully buckle one of his wrists into the cuff.

“Tight enough?” You ask, and he gives a low hum. A quick nod.

“Too tight?” He shakes his head, eyes falling shut. You smile. You love it when he gets soft like this. If only you’d known that he was trying to bring out that side of himself again.

You slowly draw his hand into the small of his back and swing a leg over his thighs, straddling them. He lets out a little grunt, his hips pushing into the mattress. You let him stay that way, figuring he’s only going to get himself more excited. You wrap your fingers around his other wrist and tug it to meet the other one.

“This okay?” You press.

“God, yes,” he grunts. The sound comes right from the barrel of his chest- you can feel it vibrate along his spine. This is going to be good.

You buckle his other wrist into the cuffs, running a finger between the padded leather and his skin. You prompt him with the same gentle questions as before, keeping him talking. Making sure he’s still with you.

“Okay,” you whisper, and you climb off of him. “Get up to your knees, now.”

He struggles a little to get his knees underneath his torso, but he’s all hard muscle and raw power and gets upright with little effort. The powerful muscles of his core work visibly as he sits up and you’re practically drooling by the time he comes to rest in front of you- legs spread, erection jutting down one leg of his undershorts, chest heaving ever so slightly.

“Fuck,” you catch yourself gasping as you watch his shoulders work to acknowledge the restraints. Biting your lip, you indulge, reaching in and palming the swell of his erection. He lets out a little grunt and shoots you a crooked grin.

“Somethin’ tells me I’m gonna regret this,” he purrs. You crawl between his thighs and kiss his lips, long and slow and sweet.

“Baby,” you growl, “you’re not gonna regret a thing.”

You make him eat you out first, spreading out on the pillows while he wiggles himself back onto his belly between your thighs. Normally his hands would be roaming all over your body while he tongues your pussy- he’d slide his fingers across your thighs, pinch your nipples, palm your breasts. You can see the disappointment lining his gaze as his arms strain, but he licks you diligently, and it’s not long before your thighs are clamping down around his face as you cum.

You wipe his mouth for him, making him sit up again. In the meantime, you rid him of his shorts, and as he settles onto the sheets his erection bobs between his legs, drooling a thin stream of fluid and framed by a trimmed patch of dark hair.

You lick your lips. You can’t help it. He’s delectable like this. A blank canvas, ready for you to play.

You stroke him first, painstakingly slow. Your fingers are curled loose around him, but every time he tries to thrust his hips into your grip, you squeeze tightly and stop dead. He’s whimpering your name by now, chewing hard on his lower lip as he peers up at you.

“Please,” he mumbles. “More.”

“Since you asked so nicely,” you coo. You slide onto your stomach between his thighs and don’t waste any time. You swallow him down.

He howls, throwing his head back as his thighs draw tight. His hips are trembling, and you can tell he’s trying his best not to thrust right to the back of your throat. Good, you think. He’s already learning.

You plant your hands on his thighs and start to suck. You keep the same painstakingly slow pace as before, planning to draw his pleasure out as slowly as possible, before letting him expel it all at once.

You can feel the tightness catch in his body when he finds a wave of pleasure. You let him ride it for a few more strokes but pull away sloppy and harsh before he can get too far. And he looks up at you with such betrayal in his eyes you seriously think about stopping.

“You with me?” You breathe, sliding your hands up and down his thighs. He’s flushed and broken for you, but he nods with a tightness squaring his jaw.

“Keep going,” he insists.

He’s been holding on long enough.

“Time for your reward,” you mumble. You lean in and pepper kisses down his collarbone. He rises his shoulder into your touch, but he doesn’t perk up just yet.

“C’mere,” you hum, sliding a hand to his shoulder blades. “On your knees again. Nice and tall. Just like that.”

You crawl around in front of him, dropping onto all fours. As soon as you spread your legs he’s gasping and pushing forward, wanting the wet, maddening heat you’re offering to him. You slide a hand between your legs and wrap it around his thick shaft, lining him up with your entrance.

“Slowly,” you urge, and he’s trembling but he complies, easing himself forward into you. You’re soaking and sloppy from before, still sensitive and tight as ha fist around his cock. He bottoms out diligently, slowly, and holds himself there.

“Please,” he gasps, voice breaking. You make him stay there for another few heartbeats. Then you smirk.

“Fuck me.”

He complies with renewed vigor, rearing back and slamming his hips into yours. His thrusts are erratic and sharp, but you meet him beat-for-beat, sliding your hips back as he pushes forward. Your ass slaps tantalizingly against his hips and you know he wants to touch it. Fuck, you should have done this sooner. You can picture him already, straining against those cuffs and aching to palm you.

The sharp cry of your name rouses you. His thrusts are getting shaky, and you realize he’s already getting ready to cum.

“Not… gonna last,” he whimpers. “Please, lemme…”

“It’s okay,” you whisper. “Cum for me, Kiri. I wanna feel all of you.”

His peak hits as if on command, and he lets out a feral shout as it rips through him. He fucks himself madly into your body, humping you through his desperate desire. He keeps pumping into you through the spurts of his orgasm, covering his cock and pulling drips of fluid from your body.

When it’s over you slump forward, panting and breathless, but he’s still drawn tight behind you.

“Kiri?” You hum, pushing yourself upright and sliding off his softening cock. He’s still got the desperate flush of desire covering his cheeks, and for a second, you’re worried.

“Let me…” he pleads, “let me touch you.”

“Jesus- here.” You race forward, reaching behind him and freeing him from the cuffs as fast as you can. You don’t even get the chance to drop them off the side of the bed before he flattens you to the bed. His hands glide all over your body, sliding down to your hips and over your breasts. He cards his fingers through your hair and pulls softly, making up for all the contact he couldn’t have before.

“It’s okay,” you murmur, but he’s already slipping a hand between your legs. He pushes one finger into your messy slit, drawing handfuls of cum out as he adds a second and curls his fingers.

He pulls a third orgasm from you before he’s finally satisfied, collapsing beside you and letting you wrap him up in your arms. You stay there for a long while, rubbing his back, letting him continue to slide his hands over all your bare skin.

“I’m sorry, baby,” you mumble after a long moment of silence. He frowns, lifting his head to meet your eyes.

“For what?”

“That was too much. I should’ve…” You don’t get to finish your sentence, because he’s silencing you with a kiss.

“That was the best sex I’ve ever had,” he chuckles against your lips. “Hands down. If you don’t do that to me again soon, I’m gonna be the one punishing you.”

He pulls a smile from you, and you pull him in a little tighter.

“I wouldn’t mind that so much.”

[nestable]

BRING IT ON HOME NESSIAN ONESHOT

Bring it on Home to me by Sam Cooke is on of my favorite songs in the word and I highly recommend you go have a listen if you havent heard it, I promise you wont regret it. I was listening to it the other day and instantly thought of how these lyrics resonated with nessian, cassian more especially and couldn't resist writing this fic. Just a little soft, SFW, domestic Nessian. 🥺😭

"Nes." Cassian groaned as he rolled closer to her side of the bed. "Nesta?"

After being met with stark silence, Cassian outstretched his hand only for it to collapse onto cold sheets.

No Nesta, he realized with a start.

Though he and his Nesta have been mated for some months now, all of which have been without an incident, he can't help but worry.

Each night he reassures himself with the knowledge of their bond, the heat of her body pressed against his own, the words of love and loyalty she ensures he hears everyday, that she is safe and finally happy.

Not miserable and balancing on the cusp of oblivion where he found her last year. Juggling between drowning her sorrows and indulging in sub-par sex just to feel something, just to deny the connection they share because she felt that she wasnt worthy of him. No, that was all over now, but he can't help when the memories resurface.

The memory of Nesta writhing and arched in her bed as silver flames wreathed her body like a shroud. The screams of pain and anguish that left her lips only to be swallowed by starless night and Deaths flames. How the very mountain trembled beneath their feet, bracing itself for the potential explotion that Cassian could sense building up. Somehow he knew that Velaris would've been crumpled to dust that night and become a fond memory. He felt it in his gut. Just the same way he felt her night terrors take hold of her for her powers to bask in centre stage. And in the same breath, he also felt that he could stop it. Whether that was pure male arrogance or the suspicion of the bond that lay between them, that was yet to be found. And it was...the moment her powers seized in intensity when he said her name. Once, twice, just enough for Rhys to gain control and save them all.

No, he would never forget that and he'd be damned if it were to happen again and catch him in a helpless position as the first time he witnessed the extent of her power. A power that mostly returned back to the Cauldron, only to be replaced by 3 Dread troves and the Mothers favour. A different sort of threat perhaps. One sweeter, kinder, even benign from what he's witnessed.

Nesta barely speaks about the power the same way she did with her Cauldron gifts. She reassures him that these were different, these she understands and smiled every time he enquired about her connection with the Mother. He wishes to know more, his body yearns for it, but his mate has always loved surprises.

Cassian threw on a pair of his undershorts before leaving his and Nestas new room. Though the House of Wind has become their shared abode, its ill advised to walk around naked with the possibility of Azriel becoming an unwilling spectator with his prowling around the halls in the dead of night like he's been doing for the past year.

Cassian loves his brother, sometimes more than kin normally do, he believes sometimes, but he'll never forgive him for that night he ruined his birthday night when he walked in on Nesta modelling her new negligee in the library. He's never jumped from one intense emotion to another so quickly. Blinded by the red lace of her silk garments only to see red of a different kind when the blue of Azriels siphon opened the door.

The territorial male part of him nearly took over that night and he was inclined to let it ride him had Nesta not winnowed them to their room and pushed him onto the bed. The anger, the curiosity he had as to how Nesta was able to winnow around the House when no one else could were obscured then turned insignificant by the view of Nesta sitting astride on his thighs.

Cassian followed the music swimming through the hall which brought him to a new lounge area that didn't present itself in the centuries that he's been living here until Nesta inherited the place.

Many new things have made their presence known and sprung to life since Nestas made the House her home. Hidden rooms have materialized, troves have opened and a gorgeous garden has flourished on the top of the mountain. As if in preparation of someone, or little someone's who might need it.

Cassian isn't blind to the fact that the House makes things available according to Nestas hopes, dreams and wishes. All of which make Cassian excited for the future and a forever with his mate even more.

Nesta was leaning against the cream white wall that she and Cassian painted just last night, holding an A2 canvas painting in both hands. He couldn't decipher her facial expression or read some of the wild thoughts that were evidently bouncing around her head as Nesta was inclined to raising her mental walls to him when she was stressed. He'd once asked why and she told him that she didnt want to plague him with her problems. Didnt want to bother him. Little did she know that Cassian was built for her, problems and all. Nothing about Nesta could bother him. Not even the parts that bothered her.

"Hi." He whispered which startled Nesta before she composed herself. For her to be so drawn into her thoughts that she didnt notice him approaching, instantly put him on edge him.

"Hi." She said, plastering a lazy smile onto her face.

Cassian took that as an invitation to enter. His eyes swept across the room, taking in the organized clutter. From the closed boxes filling the lounge, the half hung snow white gossamer curtains blowing in from the open balcony, to the slightly dusty white marble tiles that were installed just last week.

Cassian was a bit skeptical when Nesta told him of her plans to decorate this room in all white. White cushions, white couches, white walls, white flower arrangements, white chandeliers and white fur carpets felt like a fever dream to Cassian, but now that it's all coming to life, he can see the vision of beauty that Nesta had in mind. A vision not only limited to this lounge but the entire House of Wind that Nesta will decorate herself with the input of the House itself to revitalize the place. All of which will be paid for by Rhys.

How the Cauldron matched him to such a female, not mere female but god, he'll never know. All he can do is be grateful and work to be worthy and deserve the gift to draw breath in her presence.

Now that Nestas accepted her Human emissary role and is the courts newly appointed courtier, she's recieving the same fat salary like the rest of the IC, but Cassian doubts that Rhysand will ever let Nesta access her funds because he insists on paying for everything for her. Which goes to show that Rhys' gratitude for Nesta runs very far. Or guilt, or both.

What Nesta did for Feyre, Nyx and Rhys was something that couldnt be described with words. She saved their lives and in doing so the entire court. Rhys failed to tell his family about him and Feyres decision and never left a plan of action to follow after his death. Had he died, the role of High Lord could've fallen to anyone. Probably Keir or one of Mors detestable brothers because they are Rhys closest male blood relatives. What they would've done to Velaris, done to the entire court....Cassian seldom contemplates that. Nestas sacrifice and mercy saved them all and in doing so, opened herself to a higher form of being that is yet to be seen.

"What are you doing up so late?"

"I had a lot on my mind. I couldn't sleep so I decided to come and get this room in order." She explained, flipping her golden brown hair over her shoulder.

"What's been on your mind?" Cassian asked casually, taking a step closer.

He'd have embraced her and held her against his chest if it weren't for the massive painting in her hands. A painting that he can feel is the source of all her trepidation.

Nesta bit her lip before turning the canvas toward him and placing it in his hands. "Feyre finally finished that and it was delivered yesterday afternoon. I was too afraid to open it then- but I figured that I wouldn't be able to sleep until I saw it."

At first glance, anyone would assume that the muse was Nesta. From the steel eyes to the clear skin and poise in the pose. But upon further inspection, the age of the woman, the beauty spot beneath her right eye and slight darker tresses reveals the truth.

"This is your mother..." Cassian said lowly. The weight of the image, not the canvas itself but the obvious memories, pain and loss the painting held settled on him.

"Was." She uttered a bit sharply. Her throat bobbing up and down.

Cassians eyes darted between Nesta and the painting. Surprise and admiration pouring into him in droves. Her sisters did mention more than once that Nesta is their mothers spitting image, but this...it was as though the same person had been born twice.

"You stole her whole face." He chuckled, bringing a sweet curve to Nestas lip.

"I know...I know." She shrugged.

Cassian lay the painting carefully against the wall then wrapped his arms around his mates shoulders. Her own found their home around his waist as she rested her chin atop his chest so that their eyes could meet.

If it were a few months ago, a year, she would've furiously blinked away the tears that have settled in her eyes, or rejected their proximity entirely. Only to retain a semblance of control that shes strived so hard to maintain. But now shes opened herself to him entirely. Made him a part of both her happiness and pain, loss and gain, victories and failure. Just as their mating vows ordered.

"Talk to me." He whispered, dragging his fingers through her hair.

"I- I just...I know that my mother was not the best of mothers, nor did she love us in the ways that a mother should but....but that doesn't make me love her any less. She might've trained me instead of raised me, saw me as a ticket to wealth and leisure or lived vicariously through me but she was still my mother." Her tears fell down her cheeks as if a damn had been broken. "There were good moments as well as bad and I'm not going to pretend that she was never loving or good to me. Elain and Feyre might've forgotten her, but I can't... I wont."

Cassian lowered his head to press soft kisses to her cheeks where her tears left stains. "I know." He murmured. "You dont share the same memories as Elain and Feyre, it's only natural that you saw her much differently and remember her in a better light than they do." He rubbed feather light circles on the back of her neck in an attempt to assuage her from her pain.

"It broke my heart when I walked through Feyres house that day and didn't see a piece of myself or her. It felt like I was being erased, forgotten. Now I've found my place in that hall but she hasn't. I couldn't allow that to happen. I couldn't let her be erased just like that."

"And she wont be, not if you will it. I'll remember her with you." Cassians lips found Nestas and before they knew it, the couple found themselves descending into a deep kiss that only a mating bond could conjure.

"You know that's one of the reasons I love you?" He stated, to which Nesta replied with a raised brow. "Your compassion, your massive heart, your loyalty... these are all qualities that you motivate me to pursue everyday. You've kept your soft side hidden for a long time and now we're starting to see it." She smiled. By far the most beautiful sight he's ever seen. "That sweet love. Just bring it on home to me."

A giggle was shared between them as soon as the words left his mouth. The lyrics of a song, their song, that came on the day of their mating ceremony that they had on repeat for 2 hours straight. Cassian had never heard a song that spoke to him and his experience with love the way that one did. One that Nesta knew would speak to his very marrow and chose not to warn him in advance, only to see his reaction.

"You're insufferable." She said, only to hug him tighter and lay her head on his chest.

"Well then you're going to have to get used to it, Nes. We only have forever left together."

Just when Cassian expected Nesta to respond, the soft melody of a piano begun in the corner of the room from Nesta symphoniam, followed by the ever true lyrics that might've been written for them, that might as well have been their wedding and mating vows.

If you ever change your mind

About leaving, leaving me behind

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Nesta begun the dance. Cassian followed with no hesitation. Though it was a far cry from the pulsating waltz they'd done in Hewn city or other court events thereafter. It was far more intimate, passionate. Just a sway of the hips and foot movements that reforged and strengthened the golden bond that surged through them on Winter Solstice and polished it to a shimmer. Their bond was not a mere tether, not a chain. It was a rainbow. Shimmering through storms and sunny days. It didnt only make its presence known or surge when they were in the throes of passion, it became more sentient when they were upset with each other. It was the musical and colourful road that led mate back to mate. Self back to self.

I know I laughed when you left

But now I know I only hurt myself

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

His heart cracked at the words and the truth they carry. The memories when they were so at odds with each other that they could barely be in the same room longer than necessary. The nights when he thought the immense sadness and grief at the prospect of losing her entirely would drown him and suffocate him. When he wished that he could rip his heart out of his chest only to get a reprieve from his anguish. Anguish he attempted to expunge with throwing himself into work and training only to realize that the further they moved from one another, the further they moved from themselves.

As if Nesta could hear and feel those memories, she held onto him tighter. This female, his tether to reality, his anchor, the tree that was able to weather a thunderstorm that left the land decimated only to come back and continue to grow with fruits and flowers on display for all to see.

I'll give you jewellery and money, too

That ain't all, that ain't all I'll do for you

Oh, if you bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian knew that from the moment he met Nesta, there was nothing in the world that he wouldn't do for her. Nothing too out of reach that if she should request, he would give. He was already hers in mind, body and soul. Their bond might've snapped into being after she emerged from the cauldeon, but the draw he felt toward her was infinite. Like their souls were made from the same essence but placed on earth in different time periods so that they know life without the other, to appreciate being together more.

You know I'll always be your slave

'Til I'm buried, buried in my grave

Oh honey, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian held up Nestas hand so that he may look upon the wedding and mating band. She requested that she have both and went to the best jeweler in Velaris to fuse both choices so that they sit as one on her finger. Both were made of rose gold, the slimmer wedding ring was imbued with three tanzanite diamonds and the larger mating band sports just one giant diamond that would need it's own security team. Cassian knew his mate loved nice things and made him pay a pretty penny to get it. He'd do again if only to see the stars that twinkled in her eyes when they chose the bands at the jeweler.

He looked at his own jeweled finger. A simple silver band that stood out more than he expected it to. He wanted to get black carbon fiber but Nesta threatened not to speak to him again if he had. Now he can't stop looking at it. He loves how it makes an appearance even though he's bedecked in full illyrian armour. He'll never forget the swell of pride he felt when his soldiers eyes zoned in on the piece of metal that could've easily been obscured by the red siphon that rests atop his hand, but chose to stand out and make its presence known. A symbol of his immature bachelorhood dead and gone, giving life to a new stage in his life. A stage he's waited for longer than he cares to admit.

He remembers using the word 'shackled' when describing his mating bond with Nesta when he was upset with her, but now that word seems appropriate. If the pieces of metal sitting on their matching fingers are the shackles of which he spoke, then he'd wear his shackles with pride.

One more thing

I tried to treat you right

But you stayed out, stayed out at night

But I forgive you, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me

Yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah) yeah (yeah)

Cassian rarely thinks about the time they spent apart. When resentment, self punishment and grief pulled them apart only because those memories are nothing in comparison to the centuries he spent without her.

Living life believing the words of the ignorant and seeing oneself as a inferior and undeserving of the love that he relishes in now. The love that has somehow wiped away centuries of self hate and lack of self awareness. He figures that the reason why he used to be the first to throw himself into deadly missions were all desperate plea to prove himself, to put it into stone that he isn't a mere worthless bastard but is someone worthy of respect. But now his outlook has completely shifted. He is no longer living only for himself, but for another. He remembers the blind terror he felt when he thought that Nesta was swallowed by the black water in the Bog, or how she screamed when she thought that she lost him on Mount Ramiel.

He doesnt want either of them to go through that again. To be without the other. To feel that their very heart was ripped out of their chest, when both had taken permanent residence in the other.

He saw how Feyre reacted when Rhys died, and heard when Rhys screamed when Feyre was on deaths doorstop. The mere thought of Nesta experiencing that pain or him has softened his daring heart.

He will live, he will love and he will do it with Nesta in his arms.

As the song drew to a close, Nesta shifted from her position on his chest, too look upon him again. She brought her slim fingers to his cheeks and smiled. "Forever."

He could offer nothing but the same. A truth that had been both a promise and a prayer from the moment they met, "Forever."

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