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#I only went to bed this morning to lie down for an hour. bc I was feeling so unmotivated and everything
running-in-the-dark · 4 months
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annnnd I slept all day again.... 😬
that's 12 hours. I was awake for 3 before that. and slept for 8 hours before that.
yeah I don't know I think I'm giving up.
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apomaro-mellow · 8 months
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Wrong Number 2
Someone said they liked when authors put their super-specific jobs in fics so I hope ya like Steve havin a (kinda romanticized) past job of mine.
For the first time in his life, Steve felt like the stereotypical young person who was always glued to his phone. Every time it made a noise or vibrated, his arm shot out like lightning, hoping with every fiber of his being that it was the mystery number.
It had been about five days since he'd sent that first message and he'd been worried about their conversations being stale. But that wasn't an issue. The only times their talks lulled was when they went to bed.
And even that was after texting late into the night. Steve would watch the clock go from 9 to 10 and promise to get to sleep at a reasonable hour. And then it would be midnight and what was a few minutes after that? Then he'd look up and it would be 2 in the morning.
Texting this guy had become the highlight of Steve's days. To the point where he didn't even realize Friday had come until one of his students mentioned it.
Then, purely out of habit, he asked: "Any weekend plans?"
"I've got a soccer game", Zach answered.
"My parents are having date night", Belinda said.
And normally Steve himself would be thinking about going out and finding someone for the night. But the idea hadn't come to him for once. He knew why, but he didn't fully process it until he got home to Robin, who was in the middle of cooking breakfast for dinner it seemed.
Steve was in the middle of replying to a text sent during lunch.
(12:15) I just realized you know about my off the wall job (12:17) But I have no idea what your 9 to 5 is (12:18) Your legally required to tell me if ur famous (12:18) Not bc im a clout chaser (12:19) But bc I might not have a clue who you are
[4:13] Not famous. Don't worry. I'm a teacher.
(4:15) As a former student I apologize
Robin opened the cabinet, looking for pancake mix. “Are you and that girl still texting?”
“Me and the who?”, Steve looked up from his phone.
“That girl? I assume you're finally setting up a date for this weekend?"
"She-" Steve racked his brain for a good excuse. But it was hard to do when the person who knew him the most was staring right at him.
"Whatever flaws of hers you're about to make up, I'm gonna call bullshit because your phone hasn't stopped pinging for days." She started mixing the pancake batter.
Steve looked down at the words on his screen. The one flaw of this guy was that they couldn't meet in person. But maybe it was time to close the distance just a bit.
"She's shy. Might just text a bit more before she's ready."
[4:19] No need for sorries. All my kids are great. But that's probably because I teach their favorite class.
(4:21) Oooh their favorite? (4:21) It's gotta be something like art rite? (4:22) Or are you being a smart ass cuz you teach like calculus or something?
[4:23] I teach cooking 😛
(4:23) Oh shit. (4:24) You're actually the favorite
[4:25] Toldja. Hey quick question and then possibly many more questions.
(4:26) Go ooooon
[4:27] How would you feel about spending the night playing 20 questions? Like are you free tonight?
Eddie bit his lip as he looked at Steve's words. He had picked his shifts this weekend to make sure he had plenty of time to talk to Steve. Which meant he was in fact free tonight. He replied as such and Steve said he wanted a little time to take a shower and then he'd be ready.
And because he was a little shit, Eddie took advantage of him being away from his phone.
(4:35) Since you're in the shower, I'm taking the first question. Boxers or briefs?
[4:54] Cheater. And I prefer boxer briefs. My turn?
(4:55) Go for it
Eddie was curled up on his couch, tv low and in the background as he waited for Steve's question.
[4:55] What's your name?
(4:56) THATS your first question? (4:56) Wait we've been texting for days haven't you saved my number? (4:57) What do you have me as?
Steve bit his lip, wishing he could lie to this guy, but he couldn’t. Instead he sent a screenshot of his phone.
(4:59) Misty? That’s the name of the chick?
[5:00] Yeah. But I guess I should put your actual name now, right?
It was a gamble. But this guy already knew Steve’s name. And by this point they’d been texting for nearly a week. He just wanted to know his name. He pushed back the part of himself that said he needed to know.
(5:00) It's Eddie.
Eddie. The guy he'd been talking to was named Eddie. Eddie with the long curly hair and the chunky rings who threw axes for a living. He was a far cry from the soft girls he usually dated. Or the preppy guys he usually dated.
(5:02) Favorite bug?
The question threw Steve for a moment but he decided to humor him.
[5:04] Bees 🐝I like how fuzzy they are. And I like honey. [5:05] What rings do you have?
A couple minutes later, Eddie replied with an image. It was taken from above and showed his hands lying flat on a coffee table. Steve zoomed to make out the details of each ring. He was also able to see a watch and a couple of wristbands on him.
[5:08] How did you take that picture? With your mouth? 🦭
(5:09) Did you did you just compare me to a seal???
[5:09] What other animal catches things in their mouths?
'I can be an animal with my mouth'. Thankfully, Eddie's fingers weren't as fast as his brain and he didn't send that to Steve. Eddie had in fact put his phone in his mouth the take the picture, having a real 'no thoughts, head empty moment' when Steve asked about his rings.
Steve was letting his own mind wander as he gazed at the picture. Eddie's hands were...his hands were...well they were-
(5:10) Favorite youtuber?
The adoration of Eddie's hands were interrupted by Eddie himself as their question and answers continued. The picture continued as well. Steve sent pics of his favorite pair of shoes, his hair products, and of his neck when Eddie said he didn't believe he had all these moles.
Eddie had sent pictures of one arm, covered in tats, his acoustic guitar, and a super worn copy of Peter Pan.
The hour was growing late and both of them were feeling more bold but at the same time hesitant because it felt like they were close to crossing a line.
Needing an outside opinion, Eddie consulted with The Council (the discord server with his band mates) about whether or not he should shoot his shot. Gareth told him to go for it, what harm could it do? Grant said to do it because it could potentially be the funniest catfishing story. Jeff agreed that he should, if only because their guitarist getting murdered would be a great back story.
With their unanimous approval, Eddie decided to start actively flirting with Steve.
(8:37) Soooooo ya like jazz?
[8:38] I do actually. I really love the piano.
Okay, that one was just practice. Be smooth. Be suave. None of that was in Eddie's wheelhouse but thankfully nothing he said turned Steve away. He always seemed just as eager to reply back.
(9:10) What's your oldest piece of clothing?
Eddie was thinking of his own oldest article a t-shirt that had started out overgrown on his tiny eight year old body but he'd grown into and kept over the years. It was super faded but filled with the memory of the first time he spent more than a couple of days with his uncle.
[9:12] I'd show you, but I'm wearing them right now.
Steve had closed his bedroom door before sending the text. There wasn't anything scandalous but it seemed like it could very quickly veer into that territory. All Eddie had to do was ask. If he wanted to see them, Steve would show it.
'I would like to see it.'
(9:12) I would like to see it
Eddie knew it could be anything. Maybe a holey sock. Or maybe he also had a super faded t-shirt with deep sewn-in memories as well. Maybe he was wearing a class ring?
[9:14] image.jpeg
Eddie was treated (and goddamn what a treat it was) to Steve Harrington's bottom half, barely covered in shorts with a school's logo on them. Thick thighs covered in hair. And a bulge that was there. It was very there. Eddie couldn't overstate how there it was.
He palmed his own crotch before remembering he was looking at a guy's junk and about to jerk off to it in his living room. And he had yet to answer. What was the most respectful way to say 'humina humina humina-wolf whistle-awooga'?
(9:16) Are you trying to kill me Steve?
[9:17] Do you like it?
'Awooga.'
(9:18) ❤️‍🔥 🔥 🥵
Eddie tried to think of any other way to tell Steve how hot he made him but it felt like typing words just wasn't enough.
(9:19) Can I do something insane? (9:20) And feel free to ignore me if it's too much
Steve was lying in his bed, phone of his charger now. Nothing Eddie could do would be too much. He could knock on his door and he would let him in.
[9:21] Go ahead
A second after he sent that, Steve's phone started to ring. It was Eddie. He stared for about five seconds before picking up.
"Hey."
"Hey."
If possible, Steve melted more into his bed. Eddie's voice...he didn't know what he expected but it wasn't that. He said one word and Steve wanted to wrap himself in it.
"That was pretty naughty of you, sending me that pic. I could show up to your school."
"You'd be a few years too late. These are my oldest shorts, remember?"
"Tiniest shorts maybe."
Steve laughed and Eddie was on cloud nine. He was so lost in bliss, he miscalculated and fell off the couch.
"What was that?"
"I uh, I fell. Off my couch."
"Did you fall hard?"
Eddie beamed as he got up and turned off the tv. Now that he had his voice, all he wanted to hear was the man on the other line.
"Oh super hard."
Steve let out a sound from the back of his throat and he wondered if Eddie had heard it. It was honestly amazing how the smallest things got him going. Or maybe he was just that into Eddie.
"You still there Steve?"
....."Yeah. I'm still here."
Part 4
Tag Team (closed)
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If you were tagged but it didn't show up in your notifications, lemme know and I'll do that thing where I tag you in a reblog instead. I know tumblr can't be trusted to function XD
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keerysfreckles · 6 months
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stay here - mike schmidt
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pairing: mike schmidt x f!reader
warnings: use of y/n and she/her pronouns (no movie spoilers bc i haven't seen it yet im just obsessed with mike) fluff! fluff! fluff! like one makeout scene but thats it
enjoy!
to say babysitting michael schmidt's little sister, abby, was easy would be a lie. mike called you earlier that day, right before his shift started, and asked if you could look over abby until he got home. at the end of the call he mentioned his hours were shorter, and earlier than normal, so he wouldn't be home too late.
it was currently eleven pm. abby's supposed to be in bed by ten-thirty, and nothing was working. y/n tried calming her down with a disney movie. she even colored with her in her makeshift fort in her room. but nothing worked, she was as hyper as ever.
"abby, please! we both know you're going to be tired tomorrow and you have school," y/n pleads.
"but i'm not tired," abby groans, rolling over dramatically on the couch.
"you know what? fine. i'll just tell mike you weren't listening to me," y/n sends abby an evil smile. abby perks up, and sits up to lean on the arm of the couch to look at y/n.
"no! no no no! he said if i was good all week he'd buy me something from the store."
y/n crosses her arms and leans against the hallway wall, opposite of the couch. "looks like you're going to have to listen to me afterall."
"but i'm still not tired," abby groans again, but walks over towards y/n.
y/n looked down at the girl in front of her. she saw the small bags under her eyes, and noticed her eyes kept closing every so often.
an idea popped into y/n's head, "why don't you go lay down, and i'll be in in ten minutes, yeah?"
abby nodded, confused by the request, but still nodded nonetheless and walked down the hallway and towards her room. y/n watched for a moment before abby was fully inside her room. she knew abby was most likely to fall asleep once her head hit the pillow. now she only had to kill two hours until mike would be home.
y/n and mike have known each other for three years. y/n moved into the one story house that was unoccupied in mike's neighborhood. the town wasn't used to newcomers, so of course y/n was the talk of the town for her first two weeks there.
it wasn't until a month later when y/n was on her morning run on a saturday, and had bumped into michael. she was instantly confused when she noticed he was in his work uniform, and on the way back to his house. the two made light conversation, and ended up at y/n's that night for a movie marathon.
about a month after that, mike knocked on y/n's front door, and properly asked her if she wanted to go on a date with him. of course the girl agreed, and that was the first date of many for the couple.
which leaves y/n in the position she's in - babysitting abby.
when mike and y/n officially started dating abby interrogated the girl. asking her a bunch of questions, some more personal than others, which mike quickly interjected. abby gave mike the idea of having y/n watch over her, instead of having to pay random strangers. mike obviously agreed.
y/n settled herself on the couch and put on a random horror movie that was on tv. she couldn't even get past the opening as her eyes closed and her body went limp from tiredness.
she grabbed the blanket at the other end of the couch before fully letting sleep embrace her.
the only time y/n woke up was when she heard the doorknob rattling. she turned slightly, to look over the back of the couch, and saw her boyfriend walking through the doorway.
"shit, were you sleeping?" mike asked, taking off his jacket and throwing it by the front door.
y/n sat up and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, "yeah, but i can go. abby's asleep so i did my job pretty well," she chuckles.
"thank you again. and you know you can stay babe, i don't mind the comapny," michael smiles.
y/n couldn't help but notice how on edge mike looked as soon as he walked inside.
"are you okay?" she asks softly, still sitting on the couch.
mike nods as he sits down beside her, "yeah, just a long night." he leans over and kisses her cheek, causing y/n's cheeks to turn pink.
"do you want to talk about it?" y/n moves her leg to rest her chin on her knee, as mike's eyes glaze over the tv screen before turning fully towards his girlfriend.
"william was just on my ass before my shift, and vanessa had so much energy tonight, i just couldn't handle it. and it felt like time was going so slow tonight," mike's voice was quiet. y/n could tell he had a rough night as he rubbed his eyes.
y/n leans forward and turns off the tv, making mike slightly confused. "is there anything i can do to cheer you up?" y/n stands in front of mike and holds her hands out. he immediately takes her hands in his as he stands with her. mike leans forward and kisses y/n's forehead.
"can you just stay here tonight?" mike's voice almost seems desperate, as if y/n's presence was the only thing keeping him going right now.
y/n nods, "i'll always stay if you ask me to," she smiles as mike closes his eyes and rests his forehead against hers.
"was abby okay tonight?" mike asked, pulling away, but still keeping their hands connected.
"she was good, until trying to get her to go to bed. but you didn't hear that from me," this caused mike to let out a small laugh.
the couple, with one of their hands linked with each other's, went down the hallway. mike stopped y/n and opened abby's bedroom door quietly. y/n stood beside mike and held onto his arm with her free hand, resting her cheek on his shoulder.
the pair were met with abby sleeping under her blanket. small snores escaped her lips. y/n leaned up and kissed mike's jaw, before whispering, "c'mon, i know you need sleep just as much as she does."
y/n pulls mike into his room, which was at this point their shared room. mike had two drawers of his dresser specifically for y/n, vice verse in y/n's room. mike stepped into the bathroom and they both got ready for the night, in the most comfortable clothes they own.
y/n was already laying down under the sheets once mike came out of the bathroom. even laying there, he thought y/n looked so effortlessly beautiful.
"why are you staring at me like that?" y/n asks as she watches mike slide into the bed next to her.
"what? i can't stare at my pretty girl?" mike leans forward and kisses y/n on the lips, as he brings his left hand to her cheek. he rolls over, so his right arm is on the mattress, as he hovers over y/n. her hands move to his waist, slowing moving to his lower back.
their lips molded with one another's, and y/n could almost sense the stress leaving mike's body.
mike barely pulled away, leaving little to no space in between the two, "i love you so much."
y/n smiled, "i love you too."
she leaned up to kiss him once more, and mike playfully rolled his eyes while moving to lay down beside the girl. mike loved falling asleep while holding onto y/n's waist, because he knew she was safe.
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girliekore · 8 months
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SPIDERWOMAN! HAZEL:
( how did hazel callahan got her spider powers
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hazel was the nerdiest nerd ever and was extremely excited with the new exhibition at the science museum. it was something about insects and arachnids sponsored by OSCORP
they had genetically modified butterflies, bees, centipedes and spiders. which was really cool to hazel, so she spended the whole week begging to pj and josie to go with her.
which they eventually agreed to bc hazel promised she would buy them food right after.
hazel was loving every single second at the museum and really didn't mind when pj shoved her in the direction of the spider aquarium (or tank? i don't know the name guys, english isn't my first language anyways...) after all, the whole thing was covered by thick glass.
or was it?
hazel didn't have many reaction when she felt the spider bitting her, she did read about the species and it wasn't venomous. whoever, the museum intern right beside her let out an small "shit!" before grabbing her hand and dragging her away from her friends
she wasn't very used to pretty girls dragging her around. and that one was very pretty. even with knitted browns and pouting lips.
"oh my god i'm so fucked!! are you okay?"
"no biggie, they aren't venomous right? i'll be fine"
"they are genetically modified! you should be falling dead now!" the girl keep holding hazel's hand, the frown deep in her beautiful face " why you still alive?"
"because they weren't...
"they are fucking radioactive! you should be dead!" the girl finally turned her eyes to hazel face, the frown softening for a bit "i mean, that's good that you're alive. but i'm kinda confused... look, i have to go because there's a radioactive spider running around and y'know, intern stuff. all this hard work got pushed to me but... " the girl took off a paper from her pocket, writing something very quickly "call me if you notice something weird, i really should go after that spider now hum.... bye!
hazel couldn't wait to tell pj & josie about the pretty intern, that according to the paper was called y/n.
the girls obviously laughed about the whole thing, saying that hazel was getting absolutely crazy and that she should sleep the "bitting" off.
hazel went home and all she could think about was calling the girl, but she really didn't have a reason other than thinking she was pretty, smelled nice and had soft hands. definitely, not the reason y/n allowed her to call.
that was until the next morning.
hazel woke up with her head pounding, she was sweating and most important, she was upsidedown in the roof.
her first instinct was scream, then fall into her bed, then scream a little more and then she called y/n.
"hi, i'm hazel. the girl from museum, from yesterday..."
"oh my god you're still alive? thank god!"
"yeah. hum, so... something happened..."
"let's meet up! i'll send you the address!"
that's how hazel finds herself in a small apartment in the otherside of the city. the prettiest girl she ever seen staring at her as if she was a monster with seven heads.
from what hazel understood, the spider was radioactive and hazel should've died in the first half hour after the bite, but now she was having "spider things" as y/n called.
she was writing down all stuff hazel said. which honestly made her even more pretty in hazel opinion.
"does someone know about the spider bitting you?"
"pj and josie. but they didn't really care, at least not about the spider part"
which wasn't a lie. they really ignored the whole part of "guys, a genetically modified slider bite me" and focused only on "the intern took me to a quiet to room and held my hand before giving me her number"
y/n nodded at that. writing something else down, before clapping her hands.
"i'm gonna be honest with you hazel. you didn't die but, your life will be pretty miserable..."
"oh, wow. thank you" hazel said, y/n got up from the chair, kneeling close to hazel on the couch. a single look from that girl made hazel want to hide in a hole frim how much nervous she got.
"i should've told my supervisor about you. about the whole spider thing, they were trying new drugs in that things, it was supposed to make people stronger, faster, give people powers. which was great but, all those were directed to the wrong people, bad guys y'know" y/n grabbed hazel hands, mindlessly playing with her rings while observing where the spider bit hazel. "all the people that were candidates to trying it out, didn't survive but you did. you're special hazel."
"i'm just lucky "hazel whispered, not knowing why she was whispering
"you need to stay close to me, so i can help you with that. because if they catch you hazel, they will turn you into a laboratory rat only to benefit bad people. if you stay with me, we can help people out, i can help you out"
and how could hazel say no to a pretty girl?
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soobinsupreme · 9 months
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how long?
Angst.
Warnings: Mentions of cheating. Not proofread.
a/n: i literally dont remember writing this but here ya go. sorry hyunjin stans. i love him. i just used him as the person bc ig he was who i thought of at the time lol.
You looked up, pain and sadness written all over your face. You thought about the memories and the laughs you shared. Now, everything was different. Your relationship only causes misery and stress.
“Tell me when,” You started, trying to keep your voice stable. “When was the first time you met with her?”
Hyunjin looked at you with shock. You had known about her for a while now, Hyunjin had no clue. 
You noticed the different behavior about two months ago, but you brushed it off. Until you couldn't anymore. That's why you started digging. You noticed a particular girl he followed and recognized her name. Hyunjin had spoken about her before. They were coworkers at the time. You had scrolled through her page and found that Hyunjin had liked every single one of her pictures, even commenting on one. A simple heart. That's what got you. That's how Hyunjin made his move on you. Just a single heart on one of your posts. He proceeded to DM you after that. You knew he had made his move. So you found her other socials and went through it all.
Hours went by as you went through her socials. Just as you were ready to call it quits, you found it. A picture of her kissing a man. A man who was covered with shades and a hat. But it was painfully obvious to you, after all you had been together for 4 years. Hwang Hyunjin. The man in the photo, your supposed boyfriend, kissing her. 
That's what led you here, two weeks later, pestering your boyfriend about where he had been. Coming in late was normal for him as of lately. You usually would fall asleep before he got home, but you had finally decided to stay up. You wanted to see what time he actually came home. He always would tell you he worked late and got home at 11. He knew you fell asleep early so the lie worked for a while, until you stayed up late one night finishing your extra credit paper from your professor, finally going to bed at 11:30. Hyunjin had told you he got home at 11. Lie. So when he finally arrived, at 2:30 in the morning, he looked at you in shock. You simply smiled.
“You’re home late.” You said as sweetly as you could. “Where were you?”
Hyunjin coughed, as he slid his shoes off, walking further into the living room. “I was working, trying to finish up everything I was behind on.” He smiled walking towards you.
He leaned down, pressing a kiss to your cheek. As he did you could smell the sickly sweet vanilla perfume coming off his clothes. You moved yourself away.
“New perfume?” You smiled, turning your head to the side to eye him for any evidence.
His face contorted into one of confusion.
“What?”
He moved his arm up to his nose, breathing in the scent. His eyes widened at the realization.
“Uh, yeah, I got it a few weeks ago.” He lied through his teeth.
“It's awfully feminine, Hyunjin.” You replied. “Where have you really been?”
“I just told you I was at work, I was given a few assignments that needed my approval.” Hyunjin said.
You laughed, “What? I thought you said you were behind on assignments? Now it was approving other papers?”
His eyes widened once more.
“No-, Yeah-, I-, I was behind on approvals, tha-”
“Just stop.” You cut him off, “Just tell me something.”
“Tell me when,” You looked at him, “When was the first time you met with her?”
“What?” Hyunjin looked at you, shock all over his features. “What are you talking about?”
You picked your phone up off the coffee table, pulling the picture up. You turned it towards him.
“Do you think I'm that stupid, Hyunjin? Seriously.” You stood up throwing your phone onto the couch.
“Why can’t you just be fucking honest. If you had just told me you didn’t want to be with me anymore, I wouldn’t have had to go through all this pain and bullshit. 4 years really means nothing to you.”
“Y/n, please, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’m sorry.” Hyunjin stepped closer, reaching out to touch your arm.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” You looked up at him, swatting his hand away. “You didn’t mean to hurt me? Was I supposed to be happy that you’re cheating on me? And no, Hyunjin, you aren’t sorry because you hurt me. You’re sorry because you got caught.”
“I’m sorry, Y/n, please.” He whispered.
“No.” You backed away from him. “Get out of my house. We’re done.”
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pewterwizard · 2 years
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Woke up at 3am to my cat pissing on me n basically my whole bed 😒 cleaned everything up and went to bed then woke up at 4-5 to my mom literally screaming at my cat bc she won't eat and proceeded to scream at my cat for like 2 more hours THEN at me when she realized I was awake and now suddenly I gotta take an Uber to work bc I said hey.. maybe chill the fuck out since the situation doesn't warrant anything going on rn lol that I got actually pissed on last night and I'm not screaming????
Just after I wrote this she started telling me I'm abusive and this is one of her worst relationships and all I do is put her down bc I said she was being an asshole this morning.
She told me she would drive me to work if I "scheduled a time to talk about this relationship" because she "can't be in this relationship anymore since she takes care of everything that has to do with me from taking me to appointments to cleaning" and I was like wow actually I'll take the $30 Uber since you want to actually fucking lie
I deep cleaned the whole kitchen and mopped the entire house literally two days ago, and am the only person that cleans the bathroom but God forbid she does some of my dishes lol God forbid I don't have a car and can't afford a 100$ Uber ONE WAY into Phoenix
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comfortbucky · 3 years
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𝗻𝗼𝘁-𝘀𝗼-𝘀𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 ⋆。˚ ☁︎ ˚。⋆。˚☽
WAIT HI HELLO HEADCANON OF (tfatws!bucky) ROOMMATE!BUCKY SECRETLY CONFESSING HIS FEELINGS TO THE READER WHILE THEY'RE SLEEPING BUT HE DOESN’T KNOW THEY HEARD HIM
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gif credit: @buckysbarnes
pairing: roommate!bucky x gender neutral!reader
tags: roommate!bucky, soft!bucky, friends to lovers, fluff
A/N: BESTIES THIS IS SO LONG LMAO MY B
my masterlist!
u landed a dream job in ur dream location: brooklyn, ny
and u were absolutely ecstatic
the only issue was money
the cost of living in nyc is ridiculous
so u needed a roommate
it just so happened that around the same time, that a certain super soldier was looking for a place in his hometown brooklyn, as he was finally starting a “normal life” or whatever dr raynor said
so u found a 2 bedroom apartment and put signs up around the surrounding area in search of a roommate
u keep it super simple, not wanting to reveal too much about urself bc u figure that might attract creeps
ur friends called u old fashioned for that, but u figured posting online on craigslist would result with u, on the news, dead, bc u ended up living with a serial killer
bucky is walking around the familiar, but very different, streets when he comes across ur roommate ad and decides to go for it (he’s already lost steve what else does he have to lose)
so he takes a number and waits until he gets to the hotel room he’s been staying at to call
ur simultaneously nervous and excited about ur first, and only, response to ur roommate ad bc u have no idea what to expect but also desperate to find anyone who can help split the cost
“hello?” ur question is met by a low, husky voice
bucky is thrown off by the softness of ur voice but quickly pulls it together
“hi, i’m bucky. i saw ur flyer for a roommate.”
u are really glad this is being done over the phone because this man’s voice alone is making ur cheeks heat up
u guys plan a time for bucky to come over and take a look at the place before he finalizes his decision
the day arrives and u feel ur stomach doing flips when u hear him knock at ur door
u open the door are immediately drawn to his piercing, ocean-blue eyes
bucky is immediately captivated by ur beauty, he avoids ur gaze for a moment, looks back up when u greet him
“hey.” u give him a small smile and he returns it
“hi.”
u move to the side to let him in
this man literally had no criteria in mind for finding an apartment other than it being close to a park for his walks at ungodly hours of the night
so he accepts
ur friendship starts off… slow
at first, u both mind ur business, living ur lives and barely speaking
everytime bucky came back to the apartment he would just walk into his room, shut the door and stay there
u rarely saw him, and honestly wondered when he ate because he was literally never in the common areas of ur apartment
but u were preoccupied with starting ur job that u didn’t mind at all because he was a good roommate, never made a mess, paid on top, and was fairly quiet
sometimes u would hear him wake up in the middle of the night and leave, closing the door to ur apartment so gently, as to not wake u up
the first time u guys spent time together was when he went on his first date
he didn’t tell u about it beforehand, of course, but u were sat on the couch, binge watching new girl when he walked out of his room and headed straight for the exit, saying nothing
u could smell the cologne he put on (it smelt like pine trees) and had a feeling it was a date bc u had never smelled that cologne before and he had spent like an hour in the bathroom right before he left
it must have been 45 minutes tops before he stormed back into the apartment and went to the kitchen to grab a beer
u immediately knew something was off and that he was upset from his body language and the fact that his date lasted less than an hour
“hey, u okay?” ur question is met with a grunt
u see bucky start to retreat from the kitchen to his room and u decide to say something again
“do u wanna watch tv with me?”
bucky pauses in front of his bedroom door before he turns around, nods, and plops himself on the couch next to u
he makes sure to leave some space between u guys, wanting to be respectful
u both sit in silence for a bit until a joke is made onscreen and u giggle
bucky turns to u and can’t help the soft smile that forms on his lips
he falls asleep that night, dreaming about what he could do or say to hear the sound of ur laugh again and doesn’t have a nightmare
from then on, movie nights became a regular occurrence in the apartment (once a week MINIMUM)
ur regular bonding experience helps u form a stronger friendship with bucky, having thoughtful conversations with each other
he’s thankful that u don’t ever push him into talking about something he’s uncomfortable with or not ready to talk about
u always just offer a smile and shift the conversation
u see him more in the common areas, even just to sit at the dining room table to read a book in silence
and the gap that once existed between u guys gets smaller and smaller every movie night
for a bit, nothing more ever happened other than ur thighs touching each other, side by side
until one night when u had a really long day at work and end up falling asleep during the movie, ur head landing right on bucky’s shoulder
at first he’s startled by it but looks down to see the light from the screen making ur skin glow in the dark
he’s taken by ur beauty, observing every little detail from the shape of ur nose to ur soft lips
and then he immediately snaps out of it bc he realizes how creepy he must be
and now he’s panicking internally bc he doesn’t know what to do
he doesn’t want to wake u up because u had just told him about ur exhausting day at work
but he also doesn’t want to let u fall asleep in this position bc he knows ur neck is going to be sore in the morning
he makes the decision to try and shift ur body so that ur laying on the couch
and as he’s being so careful to move u, scared that he might wake u, u start to stir and he freezes
u remain asleep and end up snuggling up closer to him and he feels his heart skip a beat
with ur repositioning, he’s able to easily pick u up, bridal style, and carries u to ur room and lays u down onto ur bed
as he’s starting to stand up, he stops, realizing ur hand has a firm grip on his sleeve
u mumble, so softly, that if he didn’t have super soldier hearing he probably wouldn’t have understood it
“stay.”
bucky feels his heart racing and can’t help but smile
he gently shifts u over, making room to lie down on his side next to u
he leaves a little bit of space bc he’s nervous he misheard u or something
but then u move ur body closer to his, resting ur head on his chest and draping an arm across his side to pull urself closer and let out a content sigh
ur half-awake at this point, but u don’t let bucky know that, selfishly wanting to do anything to remain in his arms
bucky is frozen in absolute shock
he can’t remember the last time he cuddled with someone
let alone someone he started to develop feelings for
he quickly snaps out of his thoughts to wrap his arm around u, holding u close to him and rests his chin on the top of ur head
he places his other hand on the top of ur head, gently stroking ur head
bucky thinks he must be dreaming
he places a gentle, soft kiss on ur forehead, before whispering his confession
“wish i could call u mine, doll.”
bucky’s heart literally stops as he sees ur eyes flutter open to look up and see him, paralyzed in fear
u smile and kiss him on the cheek
“u should.”
all of bucky’s worries immediately faded away as soon as u smiled at him
he smiles back, feeling the most happy he’s felt in 90 years
he replies by gently tipping ur chin up to him and placing a soft kiss on ur lips
“so happy ur mine.”
568 notes · View notes
zukump3 · 3 years
Text
ignoring them for 24 hours ✧ hc
you ignore your boys for 24 hours. or, at least, you try to.
genre: fluff
requested: yes! i added todoroki just cause
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as perceptive as he is
izuku probably notices immediately how you’re avoiding him
you two wake up at similar times because you go to sleep at similar times, but this time you woke up before him
he gave you a sweet “good morning” and kissed your cheek, but you only smiled and went to the bathroom
he thought that was strange. you usually say good morning back
but then again, it was such a small thing that he didn’t really overreact over it
however, when you left his dorm without saying goodbye or anything like that he got a little worried
once classes were beginning, he went to your dorm to pick you up and walk you to class like usual but
you were already gone.
“what the...” he would murmur to himself, frowning now
what was up with you? were you ignoring him or something?
what even annoyed him further was that you spent the whole day with fucking bakusquad!
bakugo didn’t seem to like it of course, but kirishima and the others accepted your company like it was nothing
he tried to sit next to you at lunch but once bakugo noticed his presence, he immediately yelled at the green haired boy to “fucking beat it!”
“but i-“
“WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!”
the fact that you didn’t even come to his defense kind of hurt him
he didn’t even eat at lunch
he was so bummed out that he just poked at his food with a frown on his face
of course you noticed this. you had been watching him all day and it broke your heart to see your baby like this omg ㅠㅠ
you couldn’t do it anymore. you got up and sat next to him at lunch and you swear he shined brighter than the sun when he saw you
“y/n! i-you-“
“i was trying to praaank you,” you pouted. “but you looked so upset after what that bomb bitch said-i couldn’t do it anymore.”
his pout matched yours.
“don’t do that again... i was seriously worried!”
he makes you stay by him for the rest of the day 😭
ignoring him for 24 hours challenge: failed.
y/n only lasted 5-6 hours.
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todoroki literally doesn’t notice at all
he doesn’t talk much, and seeing that you don’t talk to him much in the morning doesn’t really bother him
he just assumed you were tired and didn’t really care
you two usually got coffee together in the morning but as he went to the common room to wait for you, he was a bit peeved that you didn’t show up
he just assumed you fell asleep or something, or maybe you weren’t in the mood
not gonna lie, he was already missing your presence but he wouldn’t push you to interact with him if you weren’t in the mood
when he goes to class though, he sees you laughing and smiling with the rest of dekusquad
having a good time, apparently
he sits with you guys and listens, and his brows furrowed when he heard you say
“i wish i would’ve gotten coffee this morning. really wanted some mocha.”
...?
did you forget that you two got coffee literally every morning?
okay, whatever. something was definitely wrong with you but he wouldn’t push.
you two also sit together during lunch but you sat between tsu and izuku instead
he’s like
what. the fuck.
he stares at you for the entirety of lunch time 😭
he doesn’t even mean to, he’s just so confused?
like why are you ignoring him? you guys didn’t fight or anything last night so ?? why??
the day continues like that
whenever he comes around you leave, whenever he talks you look away from him
he’s a mixture of irritated and annoyed
irritated bc he doesn’t know why you’re acting this way, and annoyed because he wants to fucking talk to you
you’re one of the only people in this class he talks to on a daily basis and you’re pushing him away??
he only says something when it’s kind of late and everyone is tucked away in their dorms
he has a key to your dorm room don’t ask why so he goes ahead and enters
you’re on your bed, giggling about how well the prank is going to mina when you hear the doorknob jiggle and your boyfriend enter the room
“shoto!”
“we need to talk, y/n.”
you make a face. “actually, i-“
“y/n.”
the sternness in his voice makes you look up at him, kinda scared at just how serious he looks
“you’ve been ignoring me all day. why? did i do something?”
“i—“
“if i did, please tell me. communication is important in every relationship and our relationship is very special. if you do not talk to me, i have no way of knowing what i did to hurt you and-“
“shoto! oh my god, it was just a prank!” you tell him quickly, standing up and holding out your arms.
he lowkey makes a 🤨 face.
“a prank...?”
“yeah. ignore your boyfriend for 24 hours prank,” you sigh. “i was so close.”
he sighs with you, walking over to hug you tightly, which feels so good after today.
“it’s a very stupid prank.”
you giggle against his chest.
“yeah. very stupid.”
ignoring him for 24 hours challenge: failed.
y/n only lasted 18 hours.
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another one that notices immediately
you went the extra mile as to leave his dorm way earlier than he wakes up, which-
how tf did you do that
he automatically doesn’t fucking like that.
“y/n?!” he’ll yell out into his bathroom and grumble when you aren’t in there, or anywhere else in his room
he doesn’t even see you until class starts, sitting and laughing with fucking dekusquad
not only that, with midoriya
“hey dumbass, why’d you leave my dorm so early today?!” he asks you, and your eyes don’t even meet his.
you just continue scribbling at your desk.
his eyes turn white.
“i’m talking to you!”
“bakugo, please go have a seat. you’re being incredibly too loud.” aizawa would tell him, slipping his face out of his yellow sleeping bag.
he looks at his teacher, then at you, then back at his teacher before cursing and marching to his desk
probably always glancing at you through the day
the fact that you’re smiling and laughing with fucking deku
that just makes his mood even worse
you’re supposed to be smiling and laughing with him, not that crybaby
obviously his friends notice how mad he is
“dude, why so pent up?” kirishima would ask him and bakugo would literally snark
the red head smirks. “oooh—its y/n isn’t it.”
bakugo pauses.
“how the fuck did you know-“
“you know she’s pranking you, right?” kirishima would laugh at the look of anger that crosses bakugo’s face.
you’re ignoring him for a... a...
a PRANK?!
he’s livid.
during training he will not hesitate to march up to you
“you think it’s funny to ignore your boyfriend for a stupid prank, huh?! you think that’s so funny don’t you?!”
“bakugo, i-“
“SILENCEEEE!” he’ll literally roar at you and blast you like 10 feet away 😭
cue him being your partner and beating you up for practice
ignoring him for 24 hours challenge: failed.
y/n only lasted 5 hours.
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kirishima understands the concept of “personal space”
he knows that sometimes, you don’t wanna be bothered
and sometimes, he doesn’t wanna be bothered
but sometimes he doesn’t care about that concept.
he will poke and pester at you if you do this challenge.
if you wake up and don’t say anything to him, he’ll yank you down to the bed and whine at you until you manage to squirm out of his arms and go to your own dorm room
he’ll stand right next to you during breakfast
and i mean he will always be standing next to you.
no matter how many times you move around the tables, he’ll somehow end up next to you
like ?? does he have super speed or something 😭
he will not tolerate you ignoring him
like not at all
during class if he cracks a few jokes and you don’t respond to them he’ll probably fake cry
“y/n, you’re making me feel very unmanly right now!”
you swear you didn’t know it would be this hard
he probably notices it’s a prank though when he’s walking next to you in the halls and you’re not even speaking to him, just staring forward
“ahh... you’re trying to play a little joke on me or something? well, we’ll see how long you keep that up!”
retorts to making you jealous the entire day.
hangs out with literally every girl, even the fucking invisible bitch
you can’t take it anymore when it nears 6pm and he asks uraraka to come back to his dorm and watch movies with him
being the amazing girlfriend you are, you get up, land in his lap, and cuddle up to him tightly
he grins at you, preppering you with kisses
“told you you wouldn’t last, y/n.”
ignoring your boyfriend for 24 hours challenge: failed.
y/n only lasted 11 hours.
2K notes · View notes
donald4spiderman · 3 years
Note
Ok hear me out. Spencer is dating Reader and she’s always hated that she’s been more chubby/curvy. And one night in the middle of a case she calls him crying and Spencer just gets really soft and calms her down after a bad nightmare. And his heart breaks cause his loving girlfriend hates her body. So Spencer plans this elaborate date and proposes maybe? You can decide if the team have met her or not. I’d like it to be the original team but if you wanna combine the original and new teams together that’s cool too!
no bc my body image issues have been rampant lately so this is personal as hell to me. I work out a lot and i’m fit but i’ve never been SKINNY like i have thick legs and muscular arms andnnfnfjndjnffn so this is personal.
I modified this a bit but it’s still the same premises hope you like it! ***BTW IN THIS UNIVERSE THE S3-7 CAST EXISTS FOR THE ENTIRE SHOW— SO THE LATER SEASONS HAVE MORGAN AND HOTCH.
also sorry this is a long
TW: body image issues, discussions of food & weight, insecurity, crying, kissing
WC: 1.5k
-
You know, pragmatically, that you have nothing to worry about. Spencer chose you. And for the past four years, Spencer has worshipped you every day— again and again. He is the most loving, considerate, and tender partner you could ever wish for. He is near perfection.
You’ve met Spencer's friends many times. You’re not close with either of your parents, so the team of profilers welcomed you into their arms with grace and care. Each and every one of them is beautifully amazing and exceptionally brilliant.
Spencer‘s friends are not only badass, but they’re also gorgeous. JJ, Emily, and Garcia are national treasures— so visually stunning it’s almost sickening.
You knew he used to have a crush on JJ way before he met you. You’ve also heard the tale of Lila Archer, the celebrity actress who made out with your boyfriend in a pool. Spencer’s had an eventful life, full of beautiful, sweet, magnificent women— so why does he choose you?
You view yourself as bland in comparison. What do you have to offer Spencer that he can’t find elsewhere? You don’t have toned abs, slim hips, and slender arms. You’re not striking in any way.
Spencer calls you every night when he’s away on a case. He’s never missed a call, even when he got shot in the neck and kidnapped by a murderous cult. He’s reliable and consistent, and that eases your worries a little bit.
It’s eleven pm in D.C. and your phone rings right as your getting in bed.
“Hi, my love,” Spencer says breathily, his voice slightly muffled by the phone. He’s away in Ohio for a case.
“Hey.” You reply, the sweetness in his voice soured by your mood. “How’s the case going?”
“Good. JJ and I are about to pass out in our beds— we’re so tired.”
You can’t help the way your face drops. “Oh. Well, get rest.”
Your about to hang up before he interjects. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Why?” You know better than to lie to your boyfriend, who happens to be an expert on human behavior.
“Okay, I know a lie when I hear one. (Y/N), baby, what’s wrong?” He pleads.
You can’t help the tear that rolls down your cheek. “God, I’m sorry. I just miss you so much. You always know what to do when I’m feeling like shit.”
Spencer knows how much you struggle with self and bodily acceptance. He hates the world for making you feel anything less than incredible, both inside and out.
“I miss you too, so much, (Y/N).” His voice is thick as if he’s going to start crying too. “I love you so much, so fucking much. You have no idea how beautiful and amazing you are.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.” He laughs through a sob that wrecks his body. “You deserve everything in this world. I promise to give you everything you’ve ever wanted. You are the love of my life.”
You wipe the tears from underneath your eyes. “Sorry for keeping you up. You must be tired.”
“Never, if it means I get to talk to you.”
“I love you, Spencer.”
“I love you too, (Y/N). More than you’ll ever know.”
-
Spencer wakes up the next day with a newfound determination. The team solves the case as fast as possible, and by the end of the night, they’ve boarded the jet back home.
Spencer has more than enough hours to think about you and how much you mean to him. Hotch is seated directly across from him, rereading the case files.
“Hotch?” The wiser man looks up from his files, raising an eyebrow.
Spencer pauses for a moment. Maybe he’d be better asking Morgan or JJ for advice, considering Hotch’s tragic circumstances regarding Haley.
But no one loves like Hotch does-- sincerely, passionately-- stronger than anything else in the world. Spencer decides there’s no one better to ask.
“How uh did you know that Haley was the one?”
Hotch’s eyes soften for a bit. He clears his throat. “I knew since the day I met her that I would love her for the rest of my life unconditionally. She makes me complete. Do you feel that (Y/N) makes you complete?”
He already knows why Spencer is asking for his advice, steering the conversation in that direction.
“Yes. She’s my world.” Spencer whispers.
“Then it’s simple, really. Love doesn’t need to be complicated and precise. It’s what you do with it that matters.”
“I want to marry her, Hotch. I want to be with her for the rest of my life.”
Hotch smiles, “Then do it.”
Spencer feels the rush of excitement as he gathers everyone on the jet, including the prior sleeping passengers, filling them in on his big plans.
“I need all of your guys’ help.”
-
There’s a firm knock on your door at four in the morning. You know it isn’t Spencer because he has a key, but who could it be?
You take a cautious look out of your peephole to find Penelope, Emily, and JJ outside.
“What are you guys doing here?” You yawn. “For god's sake, it’s four am.”
“We know, and we’re sorry.” Penelope smiles.
“Is Spencer alright?” You ask, wondering if things suddenly went wrong during the case.
But by the joyous look on their face, you know nothing somber occurred.
“Spencer’s completely fine. But, we need to you to get changed and come with us. FBI’s orders.” JJ chuckles.
You change into warmer clothes in minutes, and the BAU ladies usher you into Emily’s car as fast as possible.
“So, no ones gonna tell me what’s going on?”
They shake their heads, “We’re just... running a quick errand.”
After a few more minutes of driving, Emily parks on the side of a dimly lit street.
“I need you to put this on.” She says, holding up a blindfold.
“Are you guys gonna murder me?” You joke, slipping the fabric over your eyes with little resistance.
“Quite the opposite, actually.” You don’t have time to think about what Penelope means before you’re being yanked out of the car.
You walk, guided by JJ, for four minutes. The grass beneath you crushes below your boots, and the hushed whispers of Emily and Penelope behind you do nothing to calm your nerves.
“Okay,” JJ says, halting to a stop. “You can take off your blindfold now.”
You hesitantly slip the blindfold off, revealing a brightly lit table in the middle of a secluded field. Morgan, Hotch, and Rossi are standing off to the sides.
Suddenly, Spencer emerges from behind a tree, dusting the leaves and dirt off his adorable sweater.
“Hi?” You laugh, utterly confused by this situation. “What’s going on?”
His hands are shaking, and he has to swallow a few times before he can speak. “I-I uh got y-you apple pie— uh your favorite.”
Spencer walks you towards the table, where a small slice of warm pie sits lonely on the table.
“Y-you should um... eat it.” He urges, pointing at the knife and fork next to it.
You glance around, trying to gauge the emotions of everyone around you, but fail. Stupid profilers and their poker faces.
Your fork cuts into the heavenly smelling pie, and you scoop up a bite into your mouth.
“It’s... good? I’ll pretty much eat any pie you give me, Spencer.”
He smiles, “I know that. But t-this is a special pie.”
“Okay...”
“You should t-take a closer look— at the pie.”
You inspect the dessert, completely puzzled until a glinting piece of silver catches your eye. Spencer notices the shock in your face and catches the plate that almost falls out of your hand.
Morgan hands him a napkin, and when Spencer pulls an apple-covered ring from the slice of pie, you almost faint.
“No way.” You gasp; tears spring to your eyes as Spencer wipes the ring clean.
He holds it tightly between two fingers, bending to kneel on one knee.
“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) (Y/L/N), I knew from the moment I met you that you were the most special woman I’d have the pleasure of meeting. A month later, you asked me out for our first date, and I couldn’t believe that someone as gorgeous and amazing as you would settle for someone like me.” You scoff at his humility.
“I spend every moment loving every part of you, (Y/N). None of my love will ever stop— ever. I promise to share my heart with you until the very end. There is absolutely no one I would rather be bonded to for the rest of my life. You are better than my dream girl because you’re real. You’re here, and you chose to love me every day— the good, the bad, and the ugly. (Y/N), will you do me the honor and great privilege of allowing me to become your husband?” You silently sob.
“Please say yes.” Spencer smiles.
“Yes!” You exclaim, pulling him up to hug him. “How could I say anything but!”
The dam breaks, and the entire team begins to cry as you and Spencer share a passionate kiss, almost collapsing down onto the grass from the sheer force of your love. He slips the ring onto your finger; it belongs there.
“I choose you, (Y/N).” He repeats.
“I choose you, Spencer, always.” You whisper into the crook of his neck.
Nothing’s ever felt so right.
279 notes · View notes
ynscrazylife · 3 years
Note
hi there! so i saw that you write about the mcu and dceu which is super cool bc i have this amazing idea of a story between me, the avengers, the guardians and the justice league (platonic ofc!) i was thinking about the three teams were preparing my birthday in a yard and while they are preparing everything, bruce banner is picking me up and him and i could get closer in a romantic way (mostly because he's my fav), and when i arrive everyone is suprising me and then we have a lot of fun 1/2
The Surprise Party | avengers, guardians, justice league fluff fic
Summary: Ignoring how they’re from different universes, the superheroes throw their friend an amazing surprise birthday party.
Authors Note: Thanks for requesting & happy birthday!
Request to be on a taglist (or multiple) here! (Taglists are at the end of the fic)
MCU Masterlist #1 | MCU Masterlist #2 | DCEU Masterlist |  Main Masterlist
PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.
header c @/gagalacrax on twitter
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There was a reason why the Avengers, the Guardians of the Galaxy, and the Justice League didn’t all get together: with that many superheroes, in one space, chaos was bound to break out. That chaos could be, quite literally, anything. From Iron Man challenging the Flash to an arm wrestling contest to Aquaman attacking Groot when he thought he was an enemy. Long story short, it just wasn’t a good idea . . . Until they found out that besides saving the world, all three teams had one thing in common: Y/N Y/LN.
Y/N had, to everyone’s astonishment, been on all three teams. Born as a Metahuman, she had started out on the Justice League team. Then, on a solo mission, she accidentally entered a black hole and bam! she found herself in another universe, and quickly bonded with the Guardians of the Galaxy. Eventually, it was determined that the Guardians couldn’t help her return to her home world - or universe - so she bid them goodbye and sought out the Avengers.
Y/N was the reason they had met. The reason that they knew of each other's universes. Now, seeing as her birthday was rapidly approaching, she was the reason they were coming together once more. Each superhero had their own connection with Y/N and adored her. Batman and Captain America were like father figures while Black Widow, Mera, and Wonder Woman were her mother figures, Furthermore, Aquaman and Thor were her mentors, Starlord, Iron Man, and Superman were like her big brothers, Gamora and Scarlet Witch were like her sisters, and Falcon, Rocket, Groot, Hawkeye, and Drax were her best friends.
There was someone else who fit into Y/N’s life in an entirely different way, though. That was the Hulk, aka Bruce Banner, who Y/N had a growing crush on. Coincidentally, his role in their birthday surprise was to be the distractor. He’d take Y/N out and about, staying as far away as possible from the Avengers Tower, while the other superheroes set up.
As expected, the planning hardly went smoothly.
Tony and Barry got into another confrontation, this time over Y/N’s choice of music (which went on until Mera and Wanda butted in with the music Y/N actually enjoyed), Arthur began to get on Natasha’s last nerves, and Rocket almost started eating her cake . . . and that was only a bit of what happened in the first half of the day.
Meanwhile, Bruce kept Y/N occupied. He took her out to her favorite breakfast place and breakfast was on him and then they filled the day at a carnival park. Bruce happily accompanied her on all the rides she wanted to go on (despite almost Hulking out multiple times) and even won Y/N some stuffed animals by throwing rings. He even got her lots and lots of cotton candy and then let her ride on his back when she got a stomach ache. All in all, though, it was a fun time. So fun that Bruce almost forgot that they had a party to get to!
Which is exactly why he frantically texted the groupchat that they were on their way and had to practically drag Y/N away from wanting to go on the ferris wheel for the third time. When confronted with questions, the lie that there was an emergency mission slipped off the brunette’s tongue -- probably not the smartest lie because Y/N had declared weeks before that if there were any missions on the week of her birthday, she wasn’t going -- but it worked long enough to keep her distracted, even if she was too busy with pouting and grumbling.
As they got closer and closer, Bruce could barely contain his excitement. Not only had he had a fantastic game, he was about to spend the night partying with the woman he had a crush on and celebrating her birthday. Who knows - maybe he’d even ask her out?!
When they got there, Y/N was ready to march inside and suit up, but Bruce tugging on her arm made her stop. Ignoring her endless questions and cries of frustration, he took his time leading her through the tower and into the backyard so the superheroes would have time to hide. Bruce let Y/N go before him and the moment she opened the doors, everyone jumped out wearing party hats and yelled: “SURPRISE!”
To say she was surprised would be a total understatement. In fact, she was so surprised that she stumbled back, directly into the scientist, and with his quick reflexes he steadied her and lightly nudged her forward and out of her shocked state. She had let out the biggest gasp that any of them had ever heard, her eyes went wide, and her hands flew over her mouth.
Slowly, she walked forward, overwhelmed by the sight before her. Not only were all her teammates - her friends, even family - together, but the place looked amazing. There were streamers, a big sign saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY, balloons, even a fake throne that Tony and Bruce had constructed earlier that week!
“Oh-oh my god, you guys . . . Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” She cried out, jumping up and down.
Everyone smiled. “Of course, sweetheart,” Arthur said.
“Go sit on your throne - presents are up first!” Tony added.
Y/N immediately ran and jumped onto the big throne.
“Aren’t presents supposed to be last or something?” Clint muttered to Steve as they walked over.
“Yeah, but Tony keeps boasting on how good his present is,” Steve replied.
Everyone mingled on over there and Tony presented his birthday present, which was definitely over-wrapped, first. After the squeals she emitted, the others were next. Everyone had gotten her their own birthday present, but Arthur and Mera went over the top when they joined together with their powers to make Y/N something super special.
Afterwards, they spent the rest of the time absolutely PARTYING! They had a dance contest which JARVIS was the judge of and Y/N won, but the next round Y/N co-judged with JARVIS and they determined that Rocket and Barry were tied for first place, Peter and Clint tied for second place, and Bruce got third place. Then, they moved onto playing games (Y/N and Bruce teamed up and they CRUSHED everyone else, because they already had experience working together at the carnival that day) and finally, it was time for cake. Y/N got the biggest piece and, of course, Rocket and Arthur fought over the cake (Groot smacked them).
They partied until the sun came up, where everyone either fell asleep or had someone fall asleep on them. In the morning, everyone awoke, only to see Y/N still asleep, her head resting on Bruce’s shoulder and a blanket wrapped around them both. It was the most adorable sight they had ever witnessed and Bruce carried her to bed while Natasha took her shoes off. The superheroes left her to sleep in and she came downstairs a couple hours later, a breakfast full of waffles, pancakes, anything you could imagine waiting for her.
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chrisevansgoodgirl · 3 years
Text
killing peggy carter
summary: you want revenge bc steve’s a bitch. (happy times, save for steve’s disappearance. everyone’s alive tho)
warnings: a darker steve. rough smut, a little questionable at times. a lot of angst bc i was in a mood.
pairing: steve rogers x reader, peggy carter x reader for a sec, and some steve x peggy ( 🤢 )
word count: about 9,800
a/n: not tagging anyone bc no one asked for this, i literally just wrote it like forever ago and decided to post it bc i haven’t posted in forever. also, if you go back far enough on my blog, you will see that i watch riverdale and honestly, i came up with this title before jughead wrote his emo story in the finale.
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When Steve left, it was nothing short of devastating.
Your world had stopped. How could it not? You had been under the impression that someone was in love with you as much as you were in love with them. And god, you were so damn in love with Steve Rogers.
It had been a year and it still hurt just like it had that first day. You were better at hiding it now, using that as the only entertainment in your life. Being an Avenger wasn’t the same as it used to be. The world was good, you weren’t needed. Especially not while all these feelings of anger and resentment were growing inside you.
When Steve left, he took a lot. He took your heart, your soul, your fucking will to love and let yourself be loved, and he took your ability to be a hero. No hero had the darkness you had. No hero stayed out most nights dancing in sweaty and noisy clubs, being groped by strangers she couldn’t even take home because she was the definition of damaged. You had trust issues for days, and they weren’t going anywhere any time soon, if ever.
Bucky tried to help and sometimes, you had the energy to fake it. It always made him so happy to see you smiling or just talking to other men who clearly were attracted to you. But nothing would come of it. You couldn’t believe a word that any one of them said.
Steve used to look at you, tell you he loved you, tell he needed you, that he couldn’t do any of this without you. Then he had the chance to go back to Peggy Carter and he took it in a second, no hesitation. He didn’t even say goodbye.
You stayed out on the lake for three months, figuring he’d just gotten tied up. He would come back, you told yourself that every night. What finally broke you was when Nat and Bucky sat you down and told you it wasn’t going to happen. You’d always known but with confirmation from the two people that knew him best, you had to face reality. He’d left you and he wasn’t coming back.
It was a huge hit to your self-esteem. Maybe if you had been prettier. Smarter. Stronger. Better. But you were just you. Petty, small, aching. Ironically, that was how he had found you as well. The Avengers liked to bring in team members who had already been through too much. You hadn’t realized how vulnerable your past trauma made you to their type of coercion. You would do anything any of them asked. With Steve, it was different. More. And he had always known.
There was this pain in your chest that never went away. Sometimes you woke up gasping in the middle of the night, usually after a nightmare. It was as if there had been a hand around your neck. But there wasn’t because you were as alone as anyone could possibly be.
You didn’t mind it anymore. Hell, it was the only thing that you still had left of Steve. You burned everything else and not even that made you feel better. This was all much to Bucky’s dismay.
You would never tell a soul that you couldn’t part with his sketchbooks, that you had them hidden in a box underneath your bed. It was no one’s right to know. This pain was your own, the only thing you still had possession of.
You hadn’t been touched in his absence, even by yourself. It reminded you of all those times he would kiss along your skin and sing praises to your beauty. Sometimes, you wished you were ugly. Sometimes, you wished you could just get so ugly that no one would even want to look at you.
But that was not the case. You were that beautiful, strong, and caring woman Steve had fallen in love with, so they claimed. You were their responsibility. Their project. They would get you through this if it was the last thing they did. Nat, Bucky, and Sam tried merely out of their loyalty to Steve. Tony followed that lead and that meant Peter tried as well as he could. Wanda, still consumed by her own lost love, attempted, but she was probably the only person who could see you for what you were.
Thrown out trash. Abandoned, sharp pieces that could and would cut anyone who tried to help. You hated all the rest of them for not seeing it. You hated all the rest of them because in their eyes, you were still Steve’s girl.
You no longer had a boyfriend, a family, or friends. He took all of that away from you. And one day, when you were so sick of having nothing to do but feel sorry for yourself, you decided that you were going to return that favor.
Steve Rogers deserved to be just as heartbroken and empty as you. It drove you crazy. He had been the one to pursue you. He had been the one to insist that you were his, even said you were the best thing to ever happen to him.
Talking Bruce into helping was laughably easy. You claimed to need closure. You claimed you just wanted to know that Steve was happy. You wanted to tell him you forgave him. Bruce hadn’t seen you look this happy in a long while so he did what anyone would and said yes.
You wanted to wait. Steve was always so sentimental, the anniversary of the day he met Peggy was probably a day of extreme affection in their house. He probably made her breakfast, bought her some piece of jewelry that she wouldn’t even like, and spent all day telling her how much he loved her. You wanted to crash the party.
Part of you wished there was another way to do this, but there just wasn’t. Killing Peggy was the only way to take anything from him, and you had these dark fantasies that he would then kill you in retaliation. What a beautiful way to go, you hoped he would strangle you. You hoped he would set you on his lap one final time, wrap his hands around your neck, and stare into your eyes until you were gone.
Peggy was a great person, that much you felt bad about. But hadn’t Steve practically murdered you? And you were a great person before all of this. An eye for an eye. Did he think you were just going to disappear? No, he wasn’t going to get away with this any longer. He wasn’t going to get his happiness after he had ruined your whole life.
You wanted some years on them, you told Bruce ten years. Steve would be just shy of 50. You wondered what he’d look like. When he left, he had just started to get some gray hairs. You could remember that morning vividly. You wouldn’t have noticed if the sun hadn’t been shining in through the blinds perfectly onto his blonde hair. He blushed about 7 shades of red, but you promised him you didn’t mind. Because you loved him. He said he loved you back. Like an idiot, you believed him.
You arrived in his time with little care to how you looked. You weren’t here for anyone but him. You didn’t mind that everyone was staring at you oddly because instead of some huge, ugly dress, you were wearing black pants, a low-cut t-shirt, and a leather jacket.
You did need a weapon, however. Guns were cowardly. Poison could be fun. A knife, though. A knife would certainly get the point across. You tucked it into your boot and then you were on your way.
You found Peggy’s house easily. Bruce had made sure you knew where you were going and what to do if they had moved or anything like that. You’d known they would be in the same place. You’d known Steve would want to live in this domestic, pathetic lie.
There was a window that looked into the living room. It was mid-day, you figured Peggy was at work. What did Steve even do? Was there a specific activity he liked pairing with all the pure nothingness he was doing while his best friend suffered in Hydra’s hands?
You saw him sitting in a recliner in what you assumed was the living room. His hair was almost all gray, he’d cut it much shorter. Like how he used to have it, before everything with Tony and Bucky. Like how he had it when you met him. His beard was just as light and he had a few prominent wrinkles on his forehead and around his mouth. But that was as far as his aging went. His arms were still huge, his shoulders so broad, and you had the strongest feeling that that ass had held up.
You were about to go in, make your presence known when you realized he was reading a book. Your favorite book. He must have taken it with him because that looked distinctly like one of your many copies you hadn’t seen for quite some time.
You were furious, shaking and seeing red. No matter how hard you tried to breathe, you just couldn’t. You were going to cut Peggy’s heart about and show it to him. You were going to cover that ugly house with her blood. You were going to wreck him just as much as he wrecked you.
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You watched Steve for three months and came to the harrowing conclusion that he was severely unhappy. Peggy would come home and they wouldn’t speak. They would sit down for dinner and say maybe five sentences to one another. They went to bed together, sometimes they had sex. You never stuck around for that because not only was that a major violation of her privacy, but damn, they were fucking boring.
When she woke up in the morning, he wouldn’t get up until she was gone. Then he would go for his run, you followed a couple of times as best you could to see if there was a piece of this puzzle you were missing. When he returned home, he would read or watch television, he went for a second run a few hours later, and returned home to do absolutely nothing but await her return.
Should this have made you happy? It didn’t. He would rather be unhappy with her than happy with you. But that was for one reason: his pride. He didn’t want to crawl back to you and admit that he made a mistake.
Your goals changed. You wanted to make him admit it. Not with words, he would never do that. But Steve was a faithful man. If you got him to stray, it would be indisputable.
You waited one morning until he was out on his run, then snuck into the house. You went through their kitchen, sometimes you moved things just to be a bitch. You went through their bedroom and discovered that Peggy had a terrible contraption that had the audacity to call itself a sex toy. That would be nice to throw in Steve’s face.
You tossed it onto the bed and got undressed as you made your way to the shower. Steve wouldn’t be gone much longer. And he would know something was very wrong when he saw your clothes.
You washed your hair, used Peggy’s soap, and only had to wait a couple of minutes after that. You heard him call out her name a few times. But then he got to the bedroom and you heard his steps hesitating.
“Peggy?”
He wouldn’t say your name, not ever. Because he could be wrong, he could be delusional. And to admit that he was still thinking about you after all this time, that was his idea of a loss.
You didn’t grab a towel as you pulled the shower curtain back and shut off the water. Dripping wet, you carefully padded across the tile floor and then out to the bedroom.
His eyes widened and he dropped to his knees. “What...what are you doing here?”
You shrugged, glancing around. “Thought I deserved a vacation.”
“Y/N, I am so—”
“Pathetic? Weak? Yeah, don’t worry, I know.” You moved closer to him, eyeing him pitifully. You were glad that you hadn’t crumbled. Months ago, you would have given anything just to hear his voice, just to see his fucking eyes. God, you hated him now.
“You’re angry, I understand.”
“Angry?” you scoffed. “Add dumb to the list.”
“I’m sorry that I hurt you—”
“You didn’t hurt me, you piece of shit. You destroyed me, you ruined my life. For all intents and purposes, you killed me. And I’m here to get my revenge.”
His eyebrows pulled together. “Revenge?”
You reached out to touch his face, trailed your fingers along his bottom lip. “Yeah, payback. I’m going to make sure I make you feel what you made me feel.”
He glared up at you. “Are you threatening me?”
“Yes.”
He finally stood, towering over you.
“Mmm, how I’ve missed this body.” You pressed yourself against him and as much as he acted like he didn’t like it, he never pulled away or tried to push you back. You were getting him wet and his shirt was starting to cling to his abs. You let your hands wander for a moment before they dropped down to his pants.
“Stop,” he said quietly.
And you did because you were never going to allow him to lie. Your turned up to him and stepped back.
He looked torn apart, confused. “Why are you here?”
You shrugged. “Why not?”
“That’s not an answer.”
“Well, it’s all you’re getting. You don’t need any other answer.”
“So, what’s the plan? How are you going to get your revenge?”
“I know you, Steve, I know that you believe in being a good and faithful man. I just want you to fuck me. That’s all.”
“Well, you know that’s not going to happen. You know I would never—”
“Cheat? So, then you’ve never fucked Peggy?”
“What?”
“You never left me, you never told me we were done. You, like the coward you are, just didn’t come back. Every time you’ve been with her is a lie, a cheat. You are a cheater.”
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?! You keep acting like there was just one thing! There were a million things, Steve. You ruined everything that we were building. And you can apologize all you want, but until I return at least half of it, I’m stuck here with you.”
“I won’t fuck you.”
“Yet,” you pointed out. “Well, I should be going.”
He grabbed your arm. “Go home.”
“I am home, baby. You’re here and you’re my home.”
He frowned.
You yanked yourself out of his hold, bending over to grab your clothing all over the room. He wasn’t going to fuck you but that did not mean he wasn’t going to look at you. So, you gave him quite the show, just like you had in the past upon his request.
You disappeared into the bathroom as if it was so natural, as if it was your own. He made no moves to follow and said nothing. As you dried yourself off, you decided now was as good a time as any. “See that terrible thing on your bed?”
You heard him step a few times, then nothing.
You scoffed. “Maybe it has to do with your age.”
“It doesn’t.”
“Still. Pretty creepy you came back to a much younger Peggy.”
“I came back to the one I left.”
“Whatever you need to tell yourself.” You sauntered out and sent him one last smile before exiting the bedroom.
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Peggy and Steve had a fight, so Peggy ducked out to some small diner. If you couldn’t get to him, you decided you were going to get to her. Peggy was sweet from the second you began speaking to her, feigning concern for her situation.
The first night you guys went out together, you wanted her to talk shit about Steve. She didn’t, she just got drunk and tried to get you much the same. You were taking her home because you truly were fearful of what would become of her without your help. And she kissed you. At first, you were startled, you pulled away out of fear and shock. She wasn’t Steve. In all your life since you’d met him, you never thought someone else was going to kiss you.
But then she looked terrified. Had she been reading you wrong? Had she messed everything up? Nah, you were adaptable. You kissed her back, explained you’d been hurt by some loser and it had been a while. She understood, or said she did, and then she was disappearing inside.
You were left wondering if Steve heard you, but not many lights in the house were on. He probably wasn’t home. Confirmed by your unlocked hotel door when you returned home just a couple of hours before sunrise.
Knowing it was him didn’t mean you weren’t going to pull your gun as you entered. He was sitting in one of the chairs at the tiny table near the tiny kitchen.
He arched an eyebrow. “That necessary?”
“I should have shot you the second I got here.” But you still tossed it onto the bed. “You know...this paints quite a scene, doesn’t it? You’re here, angry at me for being out late.” You let your purse fall to the floor, then your hideous cardigan. You had only shown up with one outfit, so shopping was necessary to keep up appearances. You didn’t know a lot about the 40s, but you didn’t want them to start burning women at the stake again because of you.
You made your way to him, straddling his lap as you took his face in your hands. “Are you upset that I broke curfew, daddy?”
He didn’t even bat an eye, but you knew that would get to him. “Where were you?”
“Out with your future wife.” One of many kickers, they had yet to get married. Peggy said it was because she wanted to wait. “Thought she would be willing to talk shit about you...thought it would make me feel better.”
“And? Did she give you anything you can use against me in the future?”
“Nah. She didn’t want to talk about you at all.”
He glared. “When are you going home?”
She shrugged. “Whenever I feel like it.” Your eyes moved over his face as you felt the deeply etched lines on his skin. “You don’t look 50 but I never thought... You remember when I found your gray hair?”
“Yeah... Thought you would leave me...that you’d want someone your age.”
“I like you like this, you know. Twice my age.”
“Have there been others?”
And just like that, the end of your friendly conversation. You pulled your hands away from him but stayed on top of him. “Others?”
“People...men you’ve let close.”
You scoffed. “Why would I do that?”
“I wanted...I thought you would move on.”
“People lie,” you pointed out. “You told me you loved me every day and then you just left. I can’t adequately explain to you how tired I am. I can’t do it again, I can’t even let myself try. I can’t get close to people the way I was close to you. I can’t move on. I can’t love someone else. I can’t do anything but hate you as much as I loved you.”
“I wasn’t lying—”
“You left. If you loved me as much as you said you did, you wouldn’t have been able to.”
“I do love you—”
You immediately pulled off him, rushing to get your feet back on the floor. No, no fucking way, he was not going to lie to you again. He was simply not allowed to anymore. You would not tolerate it.
“Y/N—”
“Get out of my hotel!” You pointed to the door. “Now, Steve, or I swear I will shoot you.”
He scoffed. “For what? Loving you?”
“You piece of shit.” You didn’t wait for him to say anything else. You stormed to the bathroom and locked the door before he could intrude yet again.
He knew you wouldn’t come back out, not while he was still there. All he could do was leave. For safe measure, he at least unloaded your gun and set it on the bedside table. Maybe if you had to find it and load again, you would lose some of your anger and not ended up taking a shot at him.
How dare he? He had no right to say that to you, no right to use that word. It meant nothing coming from him because there was the implied ‘but’ along with it. Before, he just loved you. Period. Now? He loved you. But what? He loved Peggy more? He loved this time more?
You thought you had been angry before. Even though the time you were spending with Peggy was diffusing that somewhat. Still, you never lost sight of what you wanted. Needed. The idea of Steve’s heartbreak was the only thing that could get you up in the morning.
He threw you off for a few days. Every time you tried to leave the hotel room just to do something a tad evil, you would end up in bed crying. Steve thankfully didn’t try to come back, you hated the thought of him seeing you like this, letting him know that he could still do this to you.
Peggy called. You gave her the number, just in case, and she used it to express her concern for you. It wasn’t like you not to want to hang out or to just be around and bump into her “randomly”. She invited you out for breakfast the first day, then lunch the next. You said you weren’t feeling well.
An excuse she stopped taking the third night. She wanted to go dancing with you, all while her asshole boyfriend stayed at home. How could you say no? You shouldn’t, this was the entire reason you were here.
You would kill her tonight. This time was a drag and you wanted to get home. To a place where you could wear pants or a t-shirt. A place where there weren’t so many preppy men in pastels or college sweaters.
Peggy picked you up, she wouldn’t stop staring. Had it been any other day, you might have even questioned why. But you weren’t going to enjoy this as much as you thought you would. It sucked, and honestly, it made you hate Steve even more. He was your downfall, he was also her downfall, but at least he would soon be utterly alone.
It had been hours. You were just trying to dance and let the music fill your mind, but this music was shit. If you had to hear one more man sing about wanting to hold a woman’s hand… Truly, you missed the filth of your time.
Peggy was the one that wanted to leave. Peggy was the one that wanted to walk away from all the noise of the city. Peggy was the one that took you to some sleazy motel, where she gave you the briefest of looks when she’d stopped you both on the sidewalk. She was also the one that kissed you when you didn’t say anything because what did you have to actually say?
Nothing. Not one thing. You had no idea how this plan had spiraled so terribly. You were meant to come here, kill her, throw it in Steve’s face, then bolt back home like none of it ever happened.
But you couldn’t kill her, not anymore, not after seeing what a miserable life she had with Steve. You hoped she would leave him, and not just to hurt him, but to help herself. You remembered the life she had in your world, the one she had created with your husband. It was so much better than the hell she was living in here.
So, you let her take you to a room. You let her kiss you, you let her tear your dress off, push you onto the bed, and crawl on top of you. Her lips moved everywhere over your legs, arms, and stomach, and they felt like fire because they belonged to someone who wasn’t Steve.
You hated how guilty you felt. You hated that your mind was seriously considering this a betrayal, cheating. But you were trying to be kinder to yourself. It wasn’t your fault that you had fallen so hard for someone and that you had made plans because someone had promised you forever.
She knew you were thinking about him. Not Steve, of course, but the someone you had once mentioned. She didn’t mind, she just promised she would try to make you forget. You forced yourself to be present, you turned off your mind when you could. She didn’t ask a lot of you, in reality.
She wanted to be on top, she wanted you to say her name and wouldn’t let you come until you asked nicely. It was probably around the third orgasm that you stopped feeling so awful, that all of those familiar sensations weren’t triggering memories and bitter resentment. That was what she gave you with her mouth alone and didn’t move until it was evident that your thoughts had simply melted away.
When she crawled back up to kiss you, she buried her fingers inside you. At that point, who the hell even was Steve Rogers? A distant, dull pain. Peggy was here, on top of you, biting your lip, telling you to come one more time, because she knew you had it in you.
She told you that you were beautiful, that she’d never seen a body like yours. She told you that you made her feel things Steve couldn’t, that you were fun and warm and kind, and she loved spending time with you.
You were covered in sweat, your skin painted with her lipstick and bites and other marks she left all over your skin. She hadn’t come yet and refused any offers you made her, she claimed she just wanted to focus on you for a moment.
When she finally pressed her soaking center against yours, you were in an odd amount of pain. You longed for something, so much, but you had no idea what. She pulled your hair, began kissing your neck, and rolled her hips hard. You pulled her hair back, pressed your hips up when she pressed down, whimpered her name, and told her she felt so good. It was when she started fucking you harder and faster, and you were getting really close once again, that you got the sick idea to rake your nails down her back. Hard enough to leave marks.
After her finish, she collapsed onto her side next to you. The way she looked at you was kind of scary, like you were worth a lot more than you knew you were. She also looked satisfied and you hadn’t seen that look since you’d shown up. And what a fucking crime that was. Yes, Steve was a dick, but fuck, that man could seriously fuck. Why was he denying her that?
You shoved her onto her back and sat on her face because you didn’t want to be thinking about him. She kept you there until you were shaking and so fuzzy you couldn’t even sit up on your own. A tad haphazardly, you insisted on getting your mouth on her. After some convincing on your part and a few pitying laughs from her as you nearly fell over the edge of the mattress because you were still dizzy, your tongue was sliding against her skin and her hands were locked in your hair.
She needed to get home, back to her boyfriend before he started to worry. You stuck around for a bit, reluctant to return to your apartment. Maybe this was it, maybe this was all you needed. Maybe it was just time to fucking go home.
You truly worried about all of the Bucky lectures you were going to get, all of those Natasha looks, those small ‘tsk’ sounds when Thor was not only upset but disappointed in you, the judgmental eyebrows Tony would be sending your way, and those puppy dog eyes from Peter. Goodness, you were sure Peter missed you. Bruce would never trust you again, no surprise there, you had lied to him. You hadn’t thought about the consequences of your actions when you first did this. You hated, at the time, that you didn’t care if you hurt anyone.
Game over. You weren’t going home not without having scored some points, but to win, you would just end up losing more. More, you now understood that you had taken all of it for granted. Yes, your friends were constant reminders of Steve and they had been acting like you were some mission they needed to complete, but at least they loved you. That was more than a lot of people had and you would let them know about all these epiphanies if they didn’t kill you as soon as you returned.
When you made it back to your apartment, it was only to get the necklace Wanda had given you a few years back for your birthday. It was this huge stone you never remembered the name of, something you rarely took off regardless of that.
The last thing you expected was to find Steve. He looked furious and maybe, just maybe, you were going to get the satisfaction of seeing that you hurt him before you left. “What the hell are you doing here?”
He was at the table again, jaw set, glaring at the wall straight ahead of him. You were trying to think if you’d ever seen him this angry, if you’d ever even heard stories of it. Probably not. He liked to act like you were so damn delicate. Though, maybe he had been onto something.
“Hey,” you snapped after receiving no response, “Why the fuck are you in my hotel room?”
Finally, he turned to you and for the first time ever, you were scared of him.
You kept your distance, you even began moving toward your bedside table where you had your gun stashed.
“I hope you’re not looking for this.” He reached down for a moment then tossed it onto the table noisily.
Shit. “Steve…”
“You fucked her.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He stood quickly, storming over to you. For a moment, you had been stunned, and it was enough for him to get several upper hands. It wasn’t as if he needed them to begin with, but with your delayed scattering back, he was able to grab you and pin you to the wall. You were completely defenseless in stupid, impractical heels and an ugly, impractical dress.
“Tell me you didn’t fuck her.”
You said nothing.
He scoffed harshly. “I fucking smelled you all over her…and now I smell her on you. You left those scratches on her back because you wanted me to know.”
“Honestly, I thought I would be gone by the time you found out or by the time you decided to confront me. In fact, if you leave now, I’ll be gone and you’ll never have to see me again.”
He narrowed his eyes.
“What? Isn’t that what you wanted?”
He didn’t say anything, instead, he grabbed the neckline of your dress and tore it open. He paid no mind to your startled shoving at his chest. His eyes moved over your skin quickly, you could tell he was getting angrier with every bruise he found.
You were going to play this off, bat away at his feelings just long enough for you to escape. “Steve, I—”
He grabbed your jaw and you immediately shut up. “Go take a shower.”
Your eyebrows pulled together.
“Now.”
“No, you fucking—”
“You can do it on your own or I can do it for you. But to be clear, I will not ask again, and I’m gonna count to ten before I really lose my patience. One, two, three—”
“Steve,” you tried softly. He was still holding you there, so tight that the idea of moving was laughable.
“Four, five—”
“Steve,” you were a tad more frantic, pushing at his forearm.
“Six, seven.” He finally pulled away from you and you bolted to the bathroom without a second thought. He told you to leave the door open and you listened because you no longer had the desire to push him.
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You came out in a towel several minutes later. Most of your shower was spent just trying to calm down, the rest was using any product you had to try to get rid of her scent. You didn’t want to risk further angering him with any lingering mentions of Peggy.
He was just feet away from the door when you stepped out and once again, he showed no hesitation in ripping away what covered your body. He looked you over again, briefer this time, obviously displeased with what he saw. He’d hoped most of it was just the lipstick Peggy always wore.
“Are you wet?”
“What?”
“Your pussy. Are you wet?” He was condescendingly slow with every single word and your hand suddenly itched with the need to smack him.
“No.”
“Well, you’re a liar, so I don’t believe you,” he countered. “Check.”
“What?”
“Check,” he repeated. “Now. And if I have to keep repeating myself, you’re not going to like the way this night plays out.”
You averted your gaze as you brought your hand to your center. Your breath caught audibly as you ran your fingers through. Yes, he was an ass, but your body would never stop craving his touch.
“Show me.”
Begrudgingly, you brought your hand back to him.
“Wow, how did I know you were lying? Touch yourself. Keep touching yourself until you come.”
You snorted. “Eww, no—”
He slammed his hand against the wall behind you and you fell silent again. “The same rules apply. Do it or I will do it for you.”
He had never spoken to you like this. Sure, there were the bad missions. There were the times when he just needed to fuck you to forget all the shit he had to deal with. But there was never a moment where you wondered if he would lose control, if he would hurt you unintentionally. Right now, maybe it wasn’t so much that you thought he would. You had known him long enough, loved him long enough, that you knew exactly what kind of man he was. Maybe, right now, it was that you wanted him to hurt you.
Nothing could be worse than when he left you. Nothing he did was going to hurt more than when you went back home and you were, once more, without him. Meaning that you wanted to take everything that you possibly could from this moment. All the pain, all the bruises, all those emotional scars that would add to the ones from before that you had idiotically convinced yourself you could ever get rid of.
He knew you were considering your next move and arched an eyebrow at your continuing silence.
You shook your head. “No.”
One of his hands shot up to wrap around your neck, the other hand went to your cunt where he slid two fingers into you with embarrassing ease.
You brought your hands up to his forearm and dug your nails into his skin. The harder you scratched him, the harder he would choke you—it was something established early on in your relationship. And if he was choking you, you couldn’t moan or whine like he wanted you to.
For a moment, you both stayed still. For an entire second, it wasn’t that he had left you, that you had to track him down, that you fucked his girlfriend and he was fucking furious about it. For a second, it was just you and him, like it was all the times before.
The problem was pride. It wasn’t like before and neither one of you wanted to let the other pretend. He hurt you. You hurt him. Before no longer mattered. So, you shut your eyes and turned your face away from him.
He thrust his fingers just slightly harder than you would have liked, slightly harder than he would have liked. It would sting in the morning, but you wouldn’t hate it. Crescent-shaped cuts would be found everywhere on his skin and he would mourn that they were healing too fast. Both of you knew that this was it. The end.
You were wet, that obscene sound drowning out your choked noises. He absolutely loved this, loved you. He had thought being with Peggy again would make him feel like he was finally home. It took him so long to figure out that he was wrong, to realize that you were one of the few people that actually felt like home. You and Bucky, Nat, Sam, Tony, Wanda, Thor. Not Peggy.
And he could no longer pretend when he felt you tighten around his fingers. He was fucked up and he ruined things a lot of the time. It was just in his DNA, even the fucking serum couldn’t fix that. But prior to leaving, he’d never ruined anything with you. He hadn’t realized how much he missed fucking you because he always did that right.
“Open your eyes,” he ordered.
Instead, you pushed harder at his arm and turned further away from him. Your hips started to buck against his hand, and he knew you wanted this, but he knew you were not going to give in without some fight.
“Open your fucking eyes, Y/N.”
You were not going to. After all the hell he’d put you through? Fuck that, fuck him. You were never going to give him anything he wanted ever again.
He yanked his hand away from your pussy and grabbed your jaw to turn your face to him. He knew that wouldn’t work alone and in a move of desperation, kissed you. A move to get you to let your guard down—a weak move that would not work. As his knee came up to your cunt and you began grinding against it, he started biting your lip.
You buried one hand in his hair and started pulling harder than you should have. He released your jaw to do the same to you. This was much different than how he usually touched you. He’d always been rough, but this hurt, actually hurt.
You rode his thigh with no assistance from him. He let your face go and dropped your hair in search of another tactic. You were no longer kissing, you instead rested your head on his shoulder, eyes still squeezed shut. Even when he grabbed your ass painfully, and when he smacked you after all you did was scream. Even when he grabbed your breasts and pulled on your nipples.
You kept your eyes shut the entire time and he was growing furious. He wasn’t going to let you feel anything even resembling pleasure if you weren’t going to give into him. He pulled away and grabbed your hips.
You opened your eyes then, concerned about what he was doing to you next. He grabbed your shoulder and shoved you onto the bed before you could say a word. You were on your stomach, facing away from him, busy lamenting the loss of your finish. You heard him undressing as you attempted to regain your breath and composure.
He was on top of you before that happened, yanking your legs open before he crawled up, hands stopping on either side of your head. He wasn’t going to tease, he was going to fuck you like the brat you were—hard, mean, unforgiving. He lowered his hips until his cock was lined up with your entrance and then thrust in.
Your scream must have scared the hell out of the neighbors. You wouldn’t be surprised if the cops were being called right then. It wasn’t a pleasurable scream, you certainly liked that he was inside you, but that was just your body. Your heart ached in a way that it never had. You’d thought you were never going to feel him again, but it wasn’t some beautiful feeling of reconnection. You were at square one, you would have to crave his body all over again once this was over. You would go through those same agonizing withdrawals that had truly destroyed you those first few months.
Steve grabbed your hair again and shoved your face into the mattress. He didn’t care about taking it slow, making sure that you, his precious, sweet girlfriend, were okay. He felt just as torn up as you and he couldn’t afford emotional consideration when he was so fucked up. He only knew what he wanted, for you to look at him like you used to. He would do whatever he had to do to get it. Part of him didn’t care how low he would have to go. He wasn’t Captain America here, he didn’t have to live up to the same standards.
You blindly reached back to try to catch his arm, but your attempts never even touched him. He didn’t seem to care about what you were attempting, he just fucked you. He held you down as his hips slammed against your ass and he moaned loudly, shamelessly, selfishly. You finally caught a hold of his arm and used the heel of your palm to push, but since you were out of breath and had been for quite some time, you doubted that there was any real force behind it.
“Can’t breathe, baby?” he wondered, hips still snapping, the head of his cock reaching that delicious spot inside you.
You dug your nails into his skin even though it was an uncomfortable stretch and your muscles were screaming. You were screaming, too, despite everything, despite the lack of strategy in that, but this felt too good not to. You hadn’t been fucked like this in so long, this was what you knew you would never get from someone else. This deep, soul-level connection was a one-time deal. No one else was ever going to be able to give you this.
“If I let you up, you better fucking look at me. I’m not kidding, Y/N. I’ll fucking hold you down again until I fucking come.”
Once his hand lifted from your head, you turned up and gasped for air. It was a short-lived relief as soon as his hand pressed into your neck and angled your head back. It wasn’t that you were scared, and you should have been because you wholeheartedly believed his threat, it was that you were happy to have an excuse to give in. He was stronger than you, right? No one could blame you for giving in, hell, you were just trying to save yourself. Right?
Your eyes met his and his hips stuttered. A ragged breath fell from his lips, you felt it on your hair. That hard look in his eyes softened, he looked a lot like that man that had promised you he would come back to you.
“I love you,” he breathed.
Your eyes instantly filled with tears and you clamped your mouth shut. Both hands were buried in the bedsheets because you needed something to hold, something to tear at, something to destroy to cope with the burning anger that was consuming you.
“I’m sorry, I love you.” His body moved erratically against yours, desperate for all the things he’d longed for since he’d left you. The two of you were sick together, desperate, twisted people that proved it in bed. Peggy wasn’t like that and he was drowning trying to act like he was normal, like he was that same man that she had been with what felt like centuries ago.
He collapsed, chin pressing into the bend of your neck, and you felt his cum spilling into you. His arms wrapped around you, holding you tight as he rode out his finish. He didn’t stop, however, now he wanted to get you off. He wanted to feel those same pathetic, proud things he experienced whenever he played your body like an instrument.
You didn’t resist, what would be the point? You fucking deserved an orgasm, at the very least. You were ashamed to admit that you wanted it, needed it. You hadn’t honestly felt alive since he left you, but this reminded you what that was like.
He groaned when he felt you tightening around him, his hand wedging between you and the mattress to get to your clit. When he did, it was over and you crashed like a wave against the shore, and you saw stars, and you felt all those things you felt when you were happily in love with a man you thought loved you back.
So, in conclusion, you felt lies.
If he thought he could fuck reality out of your mind, he was sadly mistaken. You were coming down when your hand started sliding across the mattress. Your gun was not the only precaution you took—you’d known Natasha for years and she would strangle you if that was your only form of protection.
He was kissing down your spine when you located your knife, and he had just started to speak when you turned back and just stabbed. You had a general awareness of where he was, you knew you weren’t going to kill him, and you didn’t want to. You just needed to get away, before he started talking, apologizing, making more promises.
You didn’t wait to see where you stabbed, you simply clawed away from him until you could jump from the bed. He cried out and you heard him grabbing for you, but you couldn’t stop for anything. On your bedstand was the necklace you had shown up for, you grabbed it, along with your long coat and then you were on your way out the door.
Running around completely naked in the 40s, clutching a trench coat you knew you weren’t going to leave without, shoeless, dripping sweat and cum—you’d never thought your beautiful life with Steve Rogers would take you here.
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A Bucky Barnes lecture was the last thing you wanted, but it was the only thing you would be receiving for probably several months. Well, when he was done with his silent treatment. He was furious when you returned, he didn’t say a word to you. Everyone else had completely fawned over you. They hugged you, pet your hair, told you how proud they were that you came home.
Bucky just stared at you and when they all parted so he could speak to you, he simply stormed out of Bruce’s lab. But yes, Bruce was a tad betrayed, your expectation on that had been correct. You apologized profusely and brought him coffee every day, several times a day until he stopped looking at you like a kicked baby animal.
Tony was disappointed, but not to Bucky’s extent. He simply could not fathom the hold Steve had on you still, told you as much. You admitted that you were wrong, and well, with Tony, that was really all he needed. He wanted to be right and he wanted you to tell him that you learned your lesson. To the untrained eye, he would look like a narcissist. But you knew him better, you knew he was just scared of losing you. Again. He merely wanted to know that you were sticking around and that was what you conveyed when you told him you had made a mistake going in the first place. He dropped it, like it never happened.
Natasha didn’t let you out of her sight for almost two complete weeks. She watched you and you felt her watching you, but she wasn’t going to pry. She was angry, but she was still handling you with gloves on. She wasn’t going to push you emotionally no matter how badly she wanted to. She also wasn’t going to ask questions, scared that prying would move you further away. You told her you saw Steve and that you got what you needed, she nodded, and that was the end of it. She still watched you, but she was slyer about it. She made sure you were in your room when she woke up and went to bed, but she took up Tony’s pretending routine as well.
Wanda didn’t need to ask anything; she knew because she read your thoughts. She knew because she had been outraged that you left without a goodbye, so she felt entitled to those thoughts. Not because she needed to know what happened but because she needed to know if you were going to try anything else again. She stopped being mad at you one day when you were making Bruce coffee. You hadn’t heard her, you were there in the kitchen, stuck in your own thoughts. She hugged you tight, didn’t say a word, but just like that, it was over.
Almost everyone had gotten over it in record time. You knew you were an asshole and you apologized, and you meant it, but even if you hadn’t, it wasn’t like they were ever going to hold it against you. Sometimes, knowing that, it made you feel worse because these people loved you and just like Steve had done to you, you hurt them. In the exact same way. You left.
Sam was in a much more difficult position. He felt a duty to you as one of Steve’s closest friends, but he also felt for Bucky. You’d really hurt Bucky and Sam could forgive you for being reckless, psychotic almost, even selfish. But the look on Bucky’s face when they discovered that you were gone was a hard thing to shake.
He stopped ignoring you after a couple of days, but the conversations were short, shallow. He didn’t ask about your time there and he didn’t ask about your feelings after. It was all small talk and polite conversation, it seemed like you barely knew each other at all. But sometimes, you would catch him watching you, like he was looking for signs of something that he couldn’t ask you. He wanted to know if you were still torn up by this Steve thing.
You were. You cried a lot, as if it happened all over again. Technically, in a way, it did. But you didn’t show them that, it was no longer their burden to bear. You had caused them pain when they tried to take yours away. You waited until you were alone or out of the tower, you cried quietly and quickly. You did not allow yourself those days where you would just hole up in your room. You were always awake early, asleep late, and you took care of yourself because you owed them all at least that.
You knew when Bucky was less angry, but you weren’t going to approach him. You were totally fine just waiting for him to let you know when he wanted to speak to you, which was one random morning after you’d finished sparring with Nat.
He was waiting outside the gym, muttered that he wanted to speak to you, and even Natasha had the good sense to get lost. It wasn’t going to be pretty, that much was clear. It was in his tone, his eyes, his tense posture.
He took you back to your room and ordered you to sit on the foot of your bed. He paced for a long time and you didn’t say a word or make a sound. When he finally looked at you, you seriously worried he might kill you. He was angry all over again, had worked himself up with his thoughts but you weren’t sure why entirely.
“Did you see him?”
You nodded.
“You talked to him.”
“About…everything? Um, no, not really.” There hadn’t been that conversation. Any attempts on Steve’s part were expertly diverted by you, with all your ill intentions and knowledge of how to get under Steve’s skin.
He nodded curtly. “So, this was for nothing then? You put me through all of this shit for nothing?”
“Bucky, I’m really so—”
He was storming out of the room before you finished your sentence.
You didn’t see him for two days, and when you did, it was clear again, you would be getting more silence. You told yourself you couldn’t be that hurt. You’d hurt him first, that meant he had the right to express his feelings even if that resulted in him not speaking to you.
Several days later, Bucky dropped his Winter Solider persona and became a worried, bitter mother hen. You were sick, it wasn’t something that you thought was a big deal. He’d come to speak to you again and with his enhanced hearing, heard you puking in the bathroom.
When you were done, he forced you back into bed and got Bruce. Bruce did the usual, it wasn’t as if anyone was worried, he was just too scared not to indulge Bucky. Speaking of, he was off in the corner of the room, claiming that you’d probably gotten some kind of time-traveling bug. He was being dramatic, and you became aware of what exactly had drawn him and Steve together all those years ago. Extra bitches.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Bruce assured. “Her temperature is fine.”
“Take her blood, test it for time-traveling bugs.”
You rolled your eyes, and because Bruce had heard of the Winter Soldier, he did as was directed. Even though you were pretty sure that Bucky wasn’t serious. Not completely. Once Bruce had the excuse of focusing on your blood, that left you and Bucky alone.
“Why did you even go?”
This was not going to go over well. “Um…I had a plan…”
“A plan,” he repeated. “To do what?”
“I was sort of…kind of, just a little bit, going to kill Peggy.”
His mouth dropped.
You rolled your eyes. “I know that was stupid—”
“You’re insane!”
You glared. “Bucky.”
“You didn’t do it, right?!”
“No,” you huffed. “I should have, would have been putting her out of her misery. He’s such a fucking tool.”
He dragged his hand down his face, holding his jaw as he leaned over in his chair and pressed his elbows to the tops of his thighs. He was silent for a very long time before saying, “Yeah…he is. Did he hurt you?”
The bruises had been painfully obvious, there was no way to hide them, and you knew they could all guess what they came from. You felt your skin getting hot as you shook your head. “No. He wouldn’t do that, Bucky.”
He scoffed. “I thought that…but he did leave you and I never thought he could do that.”
“He’s…not different,” you claimed. “Just…”
“A fucking tool.” He nodded. “I know.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I know.”
“No, I’m really sorry, Bucky. I’m not just sorry for leaving and upsetting you. I’m sorry for everything, I’m sorry that you wasted months trying to make me feel better and then I just left. I’m sorry that I took you guys for granted, I’m sorry that I didn’t know how fortunate I was to have people who love me as much as you guys do. I know I betrayed your trust so it’s not going to mean much, but I will never do anything like that again.”
His eyes flit up from the floor to your face. “I do love you. So fucking much. You’re my only connection to him. And you left and I didn’t have that, I didn’t have you and I didn’t have him, and I was just…lost.”
You felt those familiar pricks in the back of your eyes, but you told yourself not to cry, you didn’t have the right. But just as soon as his eyes filled with tears, you couldn’t hold back your own anymore. He practically flung himself off the chair to rush to you, arms wrapping tightly around your shoulders.
You weren’t sure how long you both stayed there, just clinging to each other. This felt like the end of all the tension, though. This felt like a fresh start and you and Bucky were just going to have to move on without Steve. You pondered that for a while. You would have to try to find him a girlfriend or a boyfriend so he wouldn’t try to find you someone. It was going to be a little give and take, probably a major power-struggle every now and then, but it was going to be good.
The only reason you two pulled away was because both a frantic Bruce and Natasha ran into the room. They’d made all the noise two people could possibly make as they did so, crashing into each other because the doorway wasn’t big enough for the both of them.
They were wide-eyed, out of breath, both looking like they had just seen a ghost. But a much different ghost since they both regarded one another with a look of confusion.
“What is it?” Bucky demanded. “Wait, she doesn’t really have a time-traveling bug, does she?”
“Oh!” Bruce scoffed awkwardly, “I’d say so!”
You narrowed your eyes. “What the hell does that mean?”
“That can wait!” Natasha declared.
“No, it certainly cannot!” Bruce insisted.
These were two people who were normally soft-spoken, not because they were meek or soft in any general sense—hello, Black Widow and the Hulk—but in that they didn’t like drawing so much attention to themselves.
As they both started hissing arguments back at each other, Bucky sighed.
You glanced at him and he shrugged at you in response. Things were all better one second, but the very next, the world was ending.
Both Bruce and Natasha turned back to you with resolute looks on their faces. Natasha only spoke loudly this time because she was hoping to yell over Bruce, “Steve is back!” And Bruce yelled in a completely indelicate manner because he was shocked, horrified, extremely concerned, “You’re pregnant!”
Oh, shit.
Natasha and Bruce took a second to process what the other said and then gasped, turning to one another to share a look. They faced you again and decided to repeat the news only, Bruce screamed about Steve being back and Natasha more so framed it as a shrieking question you’re pregnant?!
You glanced at Bucky.
His jaw was set, his eyes narrowed just slightly. He merely nodded once then stood, throwing his hands up in the air. “Well, I’m gonna fucking kill him.”
Yep, the world was most certainly ending.
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dameronology · 3 years
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can i request from your agnst song lyrics list 1) "i had all of you, most of you, some and now none of you" - the night we met, lord huron? maybe from nat’s perspective bc she lost reader please? 🥺
of course!! i hope u enjoy <3 this came out in a weird format but ?? we move
natasha romanoff + ""i had all of you, most of you, some and now none of you"
Natasha could count the five occasions on her right hand during which she knew she was going to lose you. As each one passed, she could tell that you were slipping away bit by bit; at first, it was just a little. A tiny bit of distance, but something you could bounce back from. Then it became a deeper and deeper divide, until she'd passed the point of no return and lost you completely. The worst part was that she knew it was happening. She was fully aware that you were slipping through her fingers and she had done nothing to stop. There was only one person to blame, and Nat knew who it was.
The first time she knew was when she'd missed an important dinner date - a cliche, really. It had happened to everyone at some point or another but this one? It had been a particularly important one. A big PR night for the Avengers, where she'd promised to be by your side and help put on a united front. You'd set a reminder on her phone, written it on the calendar in her office, and even sent her a final text on the big day. Then her meeting had overran, and she had a conference call, and four hours later, the realisation hit her like a truck. She'd forgotten. She'd taken on too much work and let you down.
"I am so sorry!" Nat burst in the room, fiery hair all over the place. She had quickly come in a rush, and her less than subtle entrance only brought more embarrassment to the warmth on your cheeks. "I was working, and I lost track of time-"
"- you had one job, Natasha," you hissed. Standing up from the dinner table, you awkwardly moved over to her and shoved a glass of champagne in her hands. "You said you had booked the day off weeks ago."
"There isn't a day off when you're an Avenger," she softly reminded you. But, the presence of Bucky, Steve, Tony, Peter and literally every other fucking super-hero in New York told you other-wise.
"Yeah, I know," you murmured. "C'mon, let's just sit down."
"I really am sorry, honey," Nat pushed.
"I know," you repeated. "Just...be on your best behaviour for the rest of the evening."
You'd written it off as a blip; so what if Natasha had made a mistake? Despite all her prior accomplishments, she was a human being. Work was important to her and you totally got that. It was important to you as well, and you had always supported each other.
More than anything, you were just grateful it had been a work related incident than anything. The first few months of your relationship had been plagued with Nat pushing you away and consistently shutting you out - it had taken a long time for her to open up to you, and even longer for her to trust you. You were glad whatever argument had come her mess-up hadn't been her doing the same all over again.
Or so you'd hoped - because the second time she felt you slipping away? It was a little more serious.
"Natasha," you sighed, "you need to tell me these things."
"It's nothing, I promise," she murmured.
"A gunshot wound isn't nothing!" you countered. "The worst part is that I found out about it from Bucky's Snapchat story."
She frowned. "Bucky has Snapchat?"
"Yeah, he meant to to send it to Steve, but accidentally posted it publicly instead," you gave a derivative snort. "But that aside, you can't keep things like that from me. I thought we didn't have secrets. Nat."
"We don't, sweetheart," Nat replied. "I just didn't want to scare you."
"You scared me more by not telling me," you shot back. "Just...please tell me next time? Don't keep me out the loop."
She forced a smile. "I won't."
But she did.
So much so, in fact, that you found yourself almost losing Natasha completely. She would no longer tell you about where she was going on missions, or when she would be back - it was all just a giant question mark. And not that dissimilar from how it had been at the beginning of your relationship. She'd been secretive, then; keeping you out the loop and not opening up when she clearly experienced something traumatic.
You'd always been there for her, but you didn't want to force it either. You were just hyperaware that you were the only person you spoke too, and if she stopped talking to you? That meant she was bottling it all up. That was never healthy.
"Steve said there were deaths," you called after Natasha, helplessly following her through your shared apartment. "Five men down, Nat, and you don't even want to talk about it a little?"
"I'm not good at talking," Nat muttered. She stalked through to the bedroom, throwing her go-bag into the back of the wardrobe. "Don't force me."
You stopped in your tracks. "You're right. I'm sorry. I just...I don't want you to bottle it up, y'know? That's not good for you. I guess I'm just letting you know that the offer is there."
"Thank you," Nat forced a smile. Again. "I appreciate it."
"I also don't want you to shut me out," you continued. "I've been through that with you before and I don't want to do it again. It almost killed both of us."
"Hey, I'm sorry," her face fell, and she softly reached out, pulling you into a hug. "I won't shut you out. I promise."
Natasha managed to break both of her promises; the one about keeping you in the loop, the one about not shutting you out.
It came naturally to her, you see. She was a solitary person; raised by design to be self-sufficient and to not let anyone in. At the Red Room, finding support in others had been a sign of weakness and try as she might, Natasha couldn't shake the habits that were engrained into her brain. She wanted to - for you, she really did - but it was hard.
It didn't take long for things to come to a head. You weren't an idiot; you knew when Natasha was icing you out. It had hurt too much the first time round and there was no guarantee that you'd have it in you to see it through a second time. You figured that space might be good - not a break up, but just some time apart.
"Natasha, we need to talk."
She hated the words as soon as they left your mouth - so did you. There was never a good conversation that started with we need to talk. It was always either a separation or an ultimatum, and you were too tired for the latter. Proposing a break seemed like the best thing for you both.
Nat frowned. "What's up?"
"I won't beat around the bush," you began. "I think we should take some time apart."
You could see Natasha's face fall instantly, but she couldn't deny it that it hadn't come as a shock. Something - a trial separation, a break-up, an argument - had been brewing for a while. She was just good at dancing around it.
"Really?"
"Yeah," you admitted. "We're both tired and it feels like we're slipping back towards how things used to be."
"You're right," she agreed. "I'm sorry. You know I love you, right?"
You smiled. "I know - I figured you could use the time to work out what you want. See if you wanna talk to someone professionally, or if you just want to...y'know."
"Know what?"
"If you want to break-up permanently," you finished the sentence with a wobble in your voice. "Ball's in your court, Nat."
The ball was in her court - and she basically let it deflate.
Because for Natasha, emotions were scary. You'd left the apartment with a promise between you that she would be the one to make the final call.
A month and I'll call you, is she what she had said.
A month and I'll call you, is she what she had promised.
It was a slow month. You didn't hear from Natasha at all; when you went to collect your mail from the apartment, she was out. She barely showed her face at the office these days and her presence on social media was gone. Her name no longer popped up on the viewers list for your Instagram or Snapchat story. There were no more good morning texts.
Then that slow month turned in a slow five weeks. Then six. Then seven. Then two months had passed, and you hadn't heard a single thing.
Not until a cold Monday evening, when you were holed up in your new apartment watching an old episode of Seinfeld. The presence of your friends, paired with old sitcoms, was the only thing getting you through the Natasha-induced drought. A knock on the door only made it worst.
"One second!" you called.
Throwing your blanket aside, you put down your soup and shuffled over to the front door. Out of habit (one that Nat had taught you), you peered through the peephole - your heart practically stopped when you saw a head of red hair and green eyes. It was unmistakably your Natasha.
"Nat," you greeted her with a cold tone as you opened the door. "Fancy you making an appearance."
"I am so sorry," she began. "I just needed time. I needed time to think-"
"- I gave you a month!" you cut her off. "And I would have given you more if...if you had just asked. If you had just spoken to me, or communicated with me."
"I know," she murmured.
"No, Nat," you firmly said. "I don't think you do. I don't think you know at all - about what you're doing or how you're making me feel."
"I..." she trailed off. "I love you."
"You don't fucking act like it," you snorted. "I could deal with at first - all the miscommunications and random disappearances, but I'm done now."
"I just want one more chance - please?"
"No," you snapped. "You've made your bed. Now lie in it."
And she would; she would lie in it alone.
133 notes · View notes
headheartbellarke · 3 years
Text
I Wish You Would | CHARLIE GILLESPIE
Requested by anon: “hello🌼 could u please write a charlie x reader imagine when he posts a picture on his instagram story with a girl to makes his crush jealous, but she end up distancing herself from him bc she's hurt and respect what she thinks is his relationship” PAIRING(s): Charlie Gillespie x fem!reader WORDS: 2,445 WARNING(s): angst w a happy ending, some language SUMMARY: “I wish you knew that I'd never forget you as long as I'd live."
A/N: hi, everyone!! really, really sorry that this took so long. haven’t had the best march tbh, and writer’s block is a bitch. && this isn’t very good, either, but i had to get something done. love u <3
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TEN HOURS EARLIER
“And… post!” Charlie taps his phone, grinning brightly.
Owen cheers from behind him, his voice meshing into the humdrum of the bar they’re currently at. “I’m so proud of you!”
His friend laughs, spinning around in the bar stool to face him. “She’ll finally understand what it feels like!”
Owen nods frantically, taking another sip of the drink in his hand.
Charlie copies his movement – a part of him knows that he is absolutely hammered, but the bigger part of him doesn’t care. He’s had a long day, and he deserves this.
Besides, how else would he and his best friend have thought of this wonderful plan if they didn’t have a billion drinks in their system?
PRESENT
A knock on the door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. “Come in!” She yells, but her voice comes out feeble and hoarse, probably from all the crying she’s been doing for the past hour.
As the door swings open, her best friend, Savannah, pokes her head in. “Hey, babe. You all right?”
Y/N sniffs. “M’fine.”
Savannah enters the room, closing the door softly behind her. She walks to the window, opening the curtains, and Y/N groans when light floods into the previously dark room.
She sits on the bed beside Y/N, and Y/N rests her head on her shoulder as she pulls the covers up to cover their bodies.
“I’m sure that they’re not dating.” Savannah says, wrapping an arm around her best friend.
Y/N chuckles sadly. “You don’t have to lie to make me feel better, Sav. I mean, in the photo, he was kissing her cheek. Literally. And he put a heart between them.”
Savannah sighs. “That’s so not Charlie, you know… kissing random girls in bars and posting pictures with them.”
“Yeah, that’s so not Charlie, because she’s not a random girl. Her name’s Francesca and she went to high school with him, so, technically, she’s known him longer, and probably better than me.”
“I – I had no idea.”
“Yeah.”
“Y/N, babe, just tell him about how you feel. I’m sure that he likes you too.”
“If he liked me, then he wouldn’t be kissing Francesca!”
Y/N exhales, as Savannah gulps, not knowing what to respond. “Y/N, I – I swear, he’s crazy about you. I don’t know what happened between last Friday and today, but I swear – the Charlie that I know – has eyes for no one but you.”
Y/N rolls her eyes, feeling a pang in her heart at Savannah’s words. “Savannah, we kissed and then he ghosted me for a day and now he’s posting pictures of him kissing another girl! I think he has eyes for everyone!”
Savannah bites her lower lip, not knowing what to respond, again. Her best friend feels tears prick at the back of her eyes when she says, “Maybe I’m a bad kisser.”
Savannah’s eyes widen, and she sits up, straight. “No. No. Babe, no. Don’t say that, ever. You’re a great kisser, okay! You’re an amazing kisser. Your lips are fine as hell, believe me. He’s the one with crusty ass lips. They’re not even lips, they look like… like… peanuts.”
Y/N stares at her best friend for a moment, before saying, “Peanuts, Sav? Really?”
“It’s the first thing that came into my mind!” She says defensively, before the girls break into a fit of laughter.
“I’m never talking to him again, ever.” Y/N says after they’ve calmed down. “I’m never even gonna look in his direction. Fucking asshole.”
*
Charlie sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. It’s eight in the morning, and he’s normally a morning person – he loves the mornings, the peace, the quiet, and the feeling that comes along with it more than anything, but right now, he just feels… sad.
On regular days, he would be talking to his best friend, Y/N, about everything that’s on his mind. But today’s different.
Last Friday, Y/N kissed him, and long story sort, it was the best thing that’s ever happened to him. After work that day, they went to get some food at a drive through, like they usually do. All throughout the ride, they made plans to go hiking once the production for season two finishes. She drove the car to a lookout, and oh, god, it was so pretty. The midnight sky was littered with stars, and since they were at the edge of town, there was less pollution, and they could see bits of the galaxy, too.
But, for some reason, the girl next to him seemed more beautiful than anything he’s ever seen, and after they finished eating, he just sat and stared at her talk about the last book that she’d read, for a while. He knows that it was terrible that he wasn’t listening – but how could he pay attention to anything when she looked like that, especially with passion illuminating her face like times square on New Year’s Eve?
She had looked at him as if he’d just grown a third head. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Li – like what?” He’d asked, embarrassed to be blatantly caught.
“Like that…” She’d said and kissed him, and it felt like he was seeing colour for the first time. Although, the next day, everything turned to shit.
Now, it’s Monday, and she’s nowhere to be seen. He desperately wants to know if his and Owen’s plan actually worked (no reason that it wouldn’t), and he feels so impatient right now, and he misses her. Also, his massive hangover isn’t helping, either.
He hears his name being called, and sees Kenny smiling at him.
“Hey, so we’re gonna do a different scene today, since Y/N and Savannah are out, is that okay with you?”
His heart races. “What happened to them?”
“Y/N’s sick, and Savannah’s taking care of her.”
“Oh. Yeah, it’s okay with me.” He says, feeling his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach.
*
“This is the last time I’m asking you this…” Y/N sings, wiping her nose with the sleeve of her sweater.
“Put my name at the top of your list!” Savannah sings, using Y/N’s straightener as a mic.
“This is the last time I’m asking you why!” Madison joins.
“You break my heart in the blink of an eye, eye, eye!” Jadah sings, jumping on the bed.
As the second verse comes on, the girls sit on Y/N’s bed, huddled close to each other.
“You know, I’m feeling better now than I did when I woke up.” Y/N says, resting her chin on her knees.
“Taylor Swift can fix anything.” Madison says, leaning her head on Y/N’s shoulder.
She nods. “And y’all. Thanks for being here.”
Jadah grins, wrapping an arm around her. “We couldn’t let you have a pity party all alone!”
Savannah laughs. “I’m gonna kill him, I swear.”
“As relieving as that would be, don’t. I’ve decided what I should do.”
Madison quirks a brow. “You’re gonna kill him yourself?”
“Madi! No. I’m gonna distance myself.”
Savannah tilts her head. “I think that maybe you two should talk it out.”
“I don’t think so. I need space, time to figure it out. My head feels like a mess. And I respect him and Francesca, and I’m not gonna dip my toes between them.”
The other girls solemnly nod their head.
“You do realize that that’s not actually the saying?” Jadah says, after a while.
“Don’t embarrass me, kid.”
*
Charlie exhales, watching his breath crystallize to tiny ice particles in front of him. Even though, he’s a Canadian, he still feels cold. Although maybe it’s not due to the weather, but due to the coldness in Y/N’s eyes.
He watches her chat with Jeremy a few feet away, both of them discussing something that is out of bounds to him. He knows that it’s probably decisions regarding their characters, considering Y/N’s character is Jeremy’s character, Reggie’s love interest, but a part of him feels like it’s shit about him.
He has no reason to feel that way, of course. He hasn’t spoken to Y/N in four days, and this morning, when he saw her after for what feels to be eternity, he was blatantly ignored. He had only watched helplessly as Y/N exited the room the moment he entered and had sunk into his chair feeling like absolute shit, especially with everyone’s pitiful stares.
Charlie’s mind keeps replaying each moment, torturing over every tiny detail, wondering what he did wrong.
And that’s when it hits him: she really doesn’t want him anymore.
Last Saturday, he had hopelessly watched her with her long-term boyfriend of god-knows-how-long – he had come to surprise her on set, and it was Charlie that was more surprised. Because he thought that they were over, for good. And it wasn’t like they seemed like they weren’t dating. They were acting just like they used to when they were dating, and he was too close to her for his comfort. They still laughed the same, joked around the same, and were just as inseparable as they used to be.
A question kept rising in Charlie’s mind, like an icicle to his heart: why would she kiss him when she already had someone else? Why would she give him hope, and then take it all away? Why would she dangle his hurt in front of him?
So, he decided to give her a taste of her own medicine, and posted a picture with Francesca, his high school friend, who he had run into that night.
Owen sinks into the chair beside Charlie. “You okay?”
“I’m starting to believe that our plan didn’t work.”
*
“Hey, uh, Y/N?”
The girl in question hears Charlie’s voice, and turns around, avoiding looking into his eyes.
“Can we talk?” He says, and for a moment, her defences are down again. He looks so… tired, almost like he’s going through the same things that she is. Almost like there’s an explanation as to why he broke her heart, why he ruined something that had the potential to be extraordinary, why he made her feel so bad about herself.
And she almost believes it, too. Like the fool she is.
She presses her lips into a thin line, and says, “Nothing to talk about.”
As Charlie opens his mouth to protest, she smiles and walks away.
*
“Okay, Charlie, you two need to talk it out. This is too much. Both of you are obviously hurting, and there’s obviously some serious miscommunication here.”
Charlie shakes his head at Savannah’s words. “She hates me.”
“No. She could never hate you.” She says, thrusting her phone in Charlie’s face. His eyes squint to read the text on the screen – from Y/N.
Sorry – forgot to leave a note. Drove down to Dad’s, gonna stay here for a while. It’s too painful – honestly, you know what? I’m still very, very, very mad at him. But I’m also missing him very, very, very much. So, I need to flush it out. Flush him out. He might be a jerk, but he’s still one of the best people that I’ve ever met. Love you, okay? Will return when the time is right.
Charlie’s eyes widen, and he stares at Savannah’s face for a while. “There – there is still hope!”
She nods frantically. “You should call her –”
“I’m gonna drive down to her dad’s house, too!”
“That works, too.”
*
A frantic knock on the front door pulls Y/N from her thoughts. She stops typing on her keyboard, and flips the lid shut, keeping it on the dining table in front of her.
She runs to her dad’s door, knowing that it’s him, back from his shopping. She opens the door, saying, “Let me take those for – Charlie?!”
Y/N’s heart swells at his sight as he grins sheepishly.
“So, there’s been some misunderstandings… can I come in?” He asks, and Y/N pauses, considering.
He sighs, and adds, “Please?”
She stares at him.
He juts his bottom lip out. “Pretty please?”
“Fine, come in.”
He closes the door behind him, wordlessly following Y/N, who feels like she might hurl right now. They sit on the couch, and it’s really, really awkward for a few seconds.
Y/N sighs. “You said you –”
“Yes. Yes, yeah. OK, so – I, uh, I –”
She couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Why would you do that to me? Do I really mean that little to you?”
“I could say the same about you!”
“Really?”
“Yes! I saw you with Shahid that day, I know that you two are back together –”
“Shahid?!”
“Yes!”
She stares at him, baffled.
“So…so… Francesca….”
“I only posted the picture to make you jealous! She asked me if I wanted to go out with her and the rest of my high school friends, and of course I went, and she saw that I was being a little… unsocial. So, I told her about how the girl that I’m completely crazy about has a boyfriend! And a long term one at that, too! And then Owen came up with a brilliant plan, and I guess you know what it was. Now, I’m realizing that it might not have worked.”
She stares at him for a moment, before she bursts out laughing. Charlie throws her a confused look.
“You – you thought that Shahid – Shahid, my best friend since we were in nappies, Shahid who is married to this amazing man, and at whose wedding I was the maid of honour – you thought that I was dating him?”
“He’s gay?!”
“Bisexual. Oh my god, I have to tell him. This is hilarious.”
Charlie bites the corner of his lower lip, feeling his cheeks heat up. “This is really embarrassing. But you two act like you’re dating!”
“No, we don’t. You’re just being insecure and jealous. I’ve known him forever, and yes, I am the most comfortable around him. Because he’s my family. He’s my brother. Oh, god, I can’t believe that you were jealous of him – wait, have you thought that we were dating this whole time?”
“Kind of. I thought you guys broke up when he didn’t visit you on set during the first two months of production.”
“He was helping feed kids in Somali.”
“Oh. Oh. God, I feel so –”
“Dumb? That’s because you are.”
He grins sheepishly, his cheeks crimson.
Y/N smiles. “But I forgive you. And I wouldn’t mind if you took me on a proper date this time.”
“Deal. Also, promise that we’ll always talk it out before… you know… doing anything?”
She laughs, and nods. He wraps his pinkie finger around hers.
“Well, Owen’s plan did kind of work, though.”
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272 notes · View notes
junicai · 3 years
Text
Aria + Periods + 127 = Chaos
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Taeil
taeil has a younger sister, so he didn’t need her to explain anything to her
honestly, he’s one of the members she’ll go to first if she needs anything
the least likely to make a big deal out of it
just kinda
shrugs
and does what is needed of him
sometimes pain meds don’t do anything for aria’s cramps they get so bad
and on those days, she’ll slid into his bed and either
A: snuggle with him and let him cuddle her
or B: just curl up underneath his sheets until he gets back from wherever he was and then do option A
he really hates her periods
like, more than she does
because she’s always a little deflated in the upcoming days, and for the first two of the actual periods
and he hates seeing her in pain or be sad
even if the thing she’s sad at is the advertisement of the cute dog
definitely chuckles at her when she comes to him with slightly teary eyes and whines that she misses her dog now
but opens his arms willingly anyway, letting his maknae plonk herself in his lap and rest her head on his chest
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Johnny
there is no better man to try and make aria feel better
that’s actually a lie
aria will point blank avoid him on her periods
he read once
once
in an article that physical exercise helps with cramps and the other pms-ing symptoms
and now every single time she opens her mouth to complain about her uterus trying to eject itself from her body
johnny’s right there with an invitation to the gym
he’s literally packed and changed, they can go right now
truth be told aria took him up on the offer once
never again
she couldn’t walk afterwards
he had to carry her out
asides from that though
he’s pretty okay with everything?
like obviously, he doesn’t really get it all too much, but if she wants someone to massage her back, then he’ll offer without too many questions
but when she’s crying about something?
oh ho ho ho
bear hugs
just a big ol’ swaddling hug that makes aria feel warm n safe n content
they heal everything
it’s aria’s life philosophy
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Taeyong
totally understanding
she needs pads? he’s either already bought them, or will go out to buy them for her
doesn’t have a tracker for her, but somehow knows when she’s cramping the week before its due
once came up with the innovative idea of using their handwarmers as a makeshift hot water bottle when they were on a schedule and aria was suffering :(
aria gets really bad lower back cramps, and its super common to just see him gently pushing her onto the couch
so he can try and massage some of the tension
keeps pads in his travelling bags
completely unprompted - it just started being something he’d pack
like heat packs and pain patches and bandages;
period supplies just eventually got added to the list
was a little uncomfy with the whole thing at the start
but his older sister yelled at him
told him to stop “being a baby” and “she’s your responsibility, act like it.”
aria felt really bad for burdening him with it all
lowkey wished she was a boy for inconveniencing everyone with it
and taeyong had to sit her down and tell her no baby
it was natural and it didn’t bother anybody
that she didn’t have to hide it
that she could come to them if she was in pain because of it
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Yuta
oh this man
when he found out that aria was getting lightheaded on her periods
when he found out that she passed out once on her period
did so much research on why that might have happened and how to help
literally stayed up all night and came to aria the next morning like
“are you eating enough iron?”
the answer was no, btw
made it his mission to make sure aria did after that
always has a little bag of nuts or something else in a side pocket of his bag if he knows aria’s on her period
gets concerned asf when she misses her periods
because he knows it’s because of unnecessary diets or her putting in extra time in the practice room
aria loves going to his room when she’s feeling miserable
he’s always down to watch a movie or just lay down with her
he’ll plait her hair or just lay together and press a lil kiss to her forehead when she whines about the cramps
hates hates hates when she cries
he knows it’s because of hormones, he has two sisters
but that doesn’t make it easier
will do absolutely anything to get her to stop crying
once went out at 3am to get her ice-cream
which actually made her cry harder
bc she felt bad that she couldn’t eat it because she’s lactose-intolerant
he just felt worse
that was not a good night
now the freezer in the dorms has a little tub of non-dairy ice-cream with aria’s name on it
curtesy of yuta
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Doyoung
when aria first moved into the 127 dorms
he bought a little pink box with a lid that he then proceeded to fill with tampons and pads; the whole shebang
which he then put in the locker beneath the sink
and told anyone that if they made a big deal out if it, he’d kill them :)
incredibly perceptive
knows when aria’s on her period before aria knows
“hey do u need a pad?” “ why do i need a pad?”
*an hour later*
“oppa do u have any pads”
he’s less of a come here and i’ll comfort you type
and more of a, i’m going to help you from the sidelines without ever actually acknowledging it’s existence
like perceiving it makes it worse
honestly aria’s pretty thankful he’s like this
she loves that the other members take care of her like they do, don’t get her wrong
but its like, for five days - she can do no wrong, she’s accommodated, and sometimes walked on eggshells around
it’s nice to have someone who’s going to treat her like normal
to balance it out
does that stop her pulling the “i’m in pain” card when she’s about to get scolded?
no
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Jaehyun
jaehyun doesn’t have any siblings, so he was really learning from scratch with aria
however
that was actually a good thing
because it meant that whatever aria told him; he did
if she needed a heating pack - he’d go find one for her
if she needed to just lie down for a bit - he’d take her into her room and close the curtains to let her take a nap
now, she didn’t take advantage of this
much
but she just thought it was really sweet of him
and tells him as much
and every time, he’ll just pat her head
maybe a lil kiss on the forehead
and pull the blanket up to her chin before leaving and flicking off the lights
that’s kind of the extent of what he’ll do
mainly because the other members have a lot of it covered already
but it’s pretty common for him to give her a piggyback ride somewhere
if her back is cramping a lot and she doesn’t/can’t walk
no complaints
he just kneels down and aria asks him is he sure
like she’s heavy or something
and he’ll just carry her to wherever they’re going
there’s a lot of fantaken pictures from these moments
people speculate that she’s injured or sick
it happens so regularly that nctzens are genuinely convinced that aria just doesn’t possess an immune system
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Jungwoo
jungwoo was surprisingly well prepared when aria first bent over from a sudden onset of cramps
man was ready and knew what to do
he had hyuck going out of the room for water
and had a hand placed on her lower back rubbing gently
never really makes a big deal out of it all
although has told her to play it up once or twice because he wanted to go to bed and practice was running late
she did, and they did end practice almost immediately after
honestly, aria’s pretty convinced that all of jungwoo’s information on how to deal with girls on their periods came from a wikihow article
but that did mean that he had taken the time to look up a wikihow article
so she guesses she can forgive him
and honestly, the fact that he takes it upon himself to do a little of her chores?
she’s not complaining
after the first three times she felt bad enough to tell him to stop though
he didn’t
and now it’s just normal
is very conversational about it all
has no problem with asking her what she needs, instead of hovering around and guessing
which makes it easier on aria as well
the first few times, she felt quite burdensome
and jungwoo levelled her with a look when she told him this
“the only way you’d be burdensome, is if you didn’t talk to the rest of us and suffered silently - in pain.”
that was the end of that really
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Mark
unfortunately for mark
aria got her first period when she was with him
poor boy thought she was going to die
“ohmygod you’re bleeding - you’re BLEEDING-”
aria had to calm him down before going to the bathroom
he is pretty oblivious as to what exactly goes on
aria complained once that she missed her last two periods because of the stupid diet she was on
mark literally thought she was going to die
very concerned
she had to sit him down and tell him that no, she wasn’t going to die  
he’s gotten better over the years
as a topic, he’s still pretty uncomfortable with discussing it
but its less of a “i’m a man and this isn’t a manly topic” and more of a “i don’t know anything about this subject and i don’t want to offend somebody, help”
he did by her her first hot water bottle cover though
up until then, she had been using hot water bottles wrapped in towels to prevent her skin from burning
but mark showed up one morning
with a yellow fuzzy thing hidden behind her back
it was a winnie the pooh cover :(
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Donghyuck
cuddle buddies
that’s his main role
aria on her period? donghyuck’s pulling out the fluffy blankets and making a pile of her plushies on his bed
time to pull out netflix and cuddle
aria could cry every single time she walks into his room and he’s just opening the covers for her to slip underneath
he does it every time
and somehow she’s still not expecting it
it’s been five years bestie
has accidentally made her cry on more than once occasion though
he doesn’t mean to!
sometimes he’ll say something in passing
and aria will get upset but won’t show it
because she knows she’s not actually upset - it’s just hormones
so she doesn’t tell him she’s upset
and just leaves to go to her own room
does that stop doyoung telling hyuck off for being insensitive?
no
not at all
but he’s normally really good! especially after the first few times
living together has generally made him more preceptive
also just growing up in general
if her cramps are really bad she’ll wake up during the night
and if she had slept in hyuck’s bed the night before
then he usually takes it upon himself to go get her pain meds and a hot water bottle
he’ll rub her back and help her fall back asleep
and then he’ll make sure to write down in his phone that she took x brand of pain meds, so in the morning she’ll have to take y instead
155 notes · View notes
goldensstateofgrace · 3 years
Text
Dream Of How You (Tasted) - Chapter One -
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(So... my first Series!!! I’ll be working on this a lot, and i want you to know it’s not gonna be perfect because I’m not perfect and my writings definitely not perfect, so bare with me on this journey please!! Who’s ready for some Camgirl!y/n??)
A story about Y/N becoming a camgirl because she needs the money but also because she gets off on the praise she gets from total strangers. She enjoys helping other’s get off while doing so herself. When talk about a one on one session with a guy who always watches her streams becomes reality, what happens when she finds out it was her crush/best friend all along?
I hope you guys are excited!! bc I know I am!! Hope you enjoy, happy reading!!
(Also, i picture Harry as long haired harry, but you can picture him however you’d like!!!)
Word count: 1.7k (4 pages) (i promise the other chapters will be longer!)
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Y/n didn’t know college could be so expensive, her job at the coffee shop on campus just wasn’t cutting it anymore. She needed to find something else to help pay for school and her rent. 
She’s in her second year of uni, all the book costs and the rent for having an apartment so close to campus is outrageous. She tried to find a second job to help with the money problem she was currently having, but couldn't find anything that could work around her classes and coffee shop schedule. 
Her best friend, Harry, tried to get her a job alongside him at his job, but again the schedule didn’t work for her and they couldn’t change it. So now, she's stuck trying to find something to do so close when she needs to pay her rent. 
It was outrageous how much the rent was for a one bedroom apartment close to campus, it’s a thousand - some dollars a month just to be close to campus, but that’s including her light and water bill so she can’t complain too much. 
Harry had offered to let her move in with him to cut down the cost, so she could save some money for school. But she declined because her boyfriend at the time didn’t feel comfortable with it, only to find out on their one year anniversary that he had been cheating on her for a while. Asshole. 
Nothing has been said since, but she wished he would. Moving out of her apartment would help so much, but she didn’t want to ask. 
Lost in her thoughts she didn’t even notice Harry walking beside her, as she walked across the courtyard to class. 
“Why so glum” he nudged her in the side with his elbow, startling her out of her thoughts. She slaps in on the arm, chuckling, “Harry! Don’t do that!”
“You didn’t answer the question, What’s wrong? And don’t give me the ‘Nothing im fine!’ thing you do,” he says, mimicking a higher pitched girly voice, chuckling once he was done. 
“Heyy! I don’t sound like that you twat!” you backhand his abdomen making him rub his stomach area as he grimaces in slight pain. 
“But” she starts, “i’ve just been struggling again, i tried looking for a job but, just like last time the schedule didn’t line up with any of my classes or with when i was working at the coffee shop.” she says, huffing in annoyance. 
Harry nods his head as she talks, listening to her, wishing he could help in some way. He tried before, but she turned him down, she didn’t even tell him why. He figured it had something to do with that cheating ex of hers. 
“Y/n, if you need help, all you have to do is ask. I’ll always be her to help you in any way I can,” he tells her, his eyes flickering over her face, showing nothing but seriousness, a drastic change from his happy light hearted self he was just a few minutes ago.
She casts her eyes away from him, focusing her eyes on the pavement under her feet as she walks. She doesn’t say anything for a while, but eventually she looks up at him, tears filling her eyes. 
“I know” she nods, “Thank you, Harry. You don’t have to, but thank you,” she says, the tears in her eyes threatening to spill down her cheek but they don’t get the chance as she wipes them away before they do. 
Harry wraps his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side and placing a kiss to her head, “I may not have to, but i want to.” he mumbles into the top of her head. 
Her arm wraps around his middle as they continue to walk to their second class of that morning, “Thank you.” 
--------------
“You know what you should do?” Harry's friend Niall says as y/n, Harry, Niall and y/n’s friend Amy sit around a table in the coffee shop having lunch. Y/n quirks her eyebrow up as she takes a bite of her turkey sandwich, motioning him to go on.
Y/n had just got finished telling them about how she was in search of another job, and about how she needed the money to pay rent soon. 
“You should do only fans, or p*** h**, they make lots of money and that way you get something out of it other than stress and tiredness.” he says, making her almost choke on her sandwich. 
“W-what!”  y/n says just as Harry says “Dude! No!” 
“What’s the big deal? Lots of people do it, and you don’t even have to show your face. You could even go by a different name!” Niall reasons. 
Y/n was shocked by his suggestion, but she wouldn’t lie and say she was put off by the idea. Nobody would know it was her, and he did have a point about her not having to go by her own name. 
She couldn’t believe she was actually considering this but, you have to do what you have to do. 
“yeah uh” she clears her throat, “good suggestion Ni, but i think i’ll just stick with trying to find a job near campus” she says, chuckling as she takes another bite of her sandwich. 
“eh, it was worth a shot,” he laughs, before the conversation steers to assignments everyone had to get done and ones they’ve already done. 
After they all finish eating they sit around talking for a little bit before Y/n and Harry had to head for their last class of the day. 
As they walk to class, Harry’s arm that’s thrown over y/n’s pulls her into his side, “You know Niall was coming from a good place, right. He didn’t mean to offend you or anything,” he says, making you look up at him with your brows furrowed in confusion. 
“yeah , i know. I didn’t take any offence to it, but…” she trailed off, “What?” harry asks, motioning for her to continue as they walk past a group of people blocking the sidewalk. 
“Would it be so bad? I mean he had a point about me not having to show my face or use my actual name” she said, her eyes flicking over his face for some kind of clue into what he thought of it all. 
Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, it’s just as they were about to walk into their class that he pulled her to the side and let their other classmates go in first, “I don’t have a problem with it, it’s your body, you have the right to do whatever you want with it. If you decide that that’s what you want to do to make the money you need i’ll support you 100%, if not i’ll still support you, no matter what,” He tells her, looking into her eyes with nothing but seriousness splayed across his face. 
Y/n nods, standing up on her tiptoes and reaching her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, “Thank you, Harry. I honestly don’t know what i’d do without you!” she mumbles into his neck as his arms wrap around her waist pulling her impossibly closer to his chest. 
“I don’t either honestly” he laughs, pulling away from her with a huge contagious smile across his face, only making her laugh and smile too. 
“Come on, let's go to class,” he said, throwing his arm back around her shoulder and leading her through the classroom doors. 
----------------
It was later that night, y/n couldn’t sleep. Her thoughts running wild with what could happen if she did decide to become a camgirl, or whatever it was called these days. 
She was laying in bed, trying to find out more about what comes with being a camgirl, what she needed to do and what other people were looking to watch. 
She had found a girl, her page consisting of videos showing off her curves and sexy lingerie, along with videos of her using toys on herself. All of the videos have over thousands of views, y/n decided that she would message the women who went by ‘daddiespet20’. 
Rewrote her message so many times she lost count before she finally found what she wanted to ask and sent the message,“Hey! I’m y/n, i was wondering if you could maybe help me, i’ve been looking into getting into only fans. Could you maybe help me with some questions I have?”
She waited a while for a reply back, along with going down a tiktok rabbit hole, laughing at the stupid tiktoks Harry posted the other day. Her phone finally pinged with a notification, she quickly pulled the notification bar down to see it was a reply from the women she had messaged, “Daddiespet20: Hi! Yes ofc, ask away.”
She honestly wasn’t expecting to get a reply back, thinking the women must have thousands of people messaging her all day every day. 
Y/n quickly wrote out a message of the main questions she wanted answered, “Thank you sm! It’s only a few questions, 1: does the amount you get paid rely on the amount of views you get on each of your videos?, 2: how did you gain your audience, and keep them interested in what you were putting out?, 3: Do you have any tips on where to start (seeing as I'm new to all of this)?”
The woman answers all of y/n’s questions with no problem, along with telling her some tips on how to get started and how to gain followers. The conversion ends after messaging back and forth for almost an hour, y/n’s walking away with all the information she was looking for plus more. 
Talking to her really helped y/n come to the decision that this is what she was going to do, she was going to make videos of her showing off her body and pleasuring herself. Never in a million years did she think she would come to this just so she could keep a roof over her head and stay in school. 
Now all she had to do was buy some sexy lingerie and some toys, well more toys. What? She’s not a prude!
 It was getting late so she decided she would go to bed and figure everything out tomorrow, along with ordering her underwear and the toys online. She definitely didn’t need anyone from school seeing her by that stuff. God, she could just imagine the embarrassment she would feel if that happened. 
---------------
Feed back is highly appreciated!! Hope you enjoyed 🥺🥰
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some ian/mickey prompts! (this is not a demand, just some ideas☺️)
• waking up/going to sleep
• cuddling
• domestic scenes in general
• hurt/comfort scenarios
• being in each other’s company (like ur recent fic) and falling in love with each other again
I really don’t know how to describe but I hope these are enough?
<3 ah thank u so much for these ideas anon! i couldn’t fall asleep last night bc i was stressed about a bunch of stuff, so i started to write this little bit of nighttime fluff that seems to fit with your requests:) i hope u enjoy!!
a drabble where ian can’t sleep, and mickey comforts him (can be set as a little coda to 11x05)
--
It was the dead of night at the Gallagher house— Ian was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes trying pierce through the blanket of darkness to count the cracks in the crumbling plaster above him and listening for something, anything, to distract his mind and finally get him to go the fuck to sleep. But it was no use— it was so late that even the usual summer chatter that bubbled up from the South Side street corners into open windows on wafts of summer air had stilled, leaving Ian sweaty and tired and restlessly laying in bed. Ian was more than tired; he was fucking exhausted, his eyes red-rimmed and scratchy and his muscles tense and rigid. Most nights Ian slept well, or slept okay at the least—he kind of had to learn to sleep in any situation after sharing a room with Lip and Carl and Liam for his entire childhood, always plagued with slamming doors and shouting voices. It wasn’t noise that usually kept Ian awake on nights like tonight, it was silence— a deafening, pounding silence that felt like it was crawling under his skin.
He looked over at Mickey, curled tightly on the opposite side of the bed, facing the wall with his arms around his chest and the covers practically up to his chin, the only really visible part of him the sliver of pale skin at the back of his neck that reflected the gauzy moonlight that was streaming in through the blinds. Ian noticed how comfortably Mickey’s face was pressed into the pillow, with even breaths escaping his half-open mouth, and instantly felt a pang of envy. That was the thing about Mickey—he never really had trouble sleeping. Mickey could always drift off the second he hit the sheets, whatever voices that lived inside his head easily quieting when the lights were dim and the world was still. Ian didn’t get it—the voices in his head always ramped up when the lights turned off, always churned and swirled and made him question his entire existence in the stagnant, pitch-black silence— and usually Ian could quiet them, after a little while, but on a night like tonight Ian knew he’d be stuck in the spiral, with his heart racing, until the sun came up. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to will his body to relax.
Ian could feel an odd sense of panic bubbling up in his throat as he laid there unmoving, feeling suffocated by the heat of the deep, dark night pressing in on him. His legs felt tingly and restless, and his head was throbbing because of how tired he was but the static in his mind kept whirring, like a broken radio set to the wrong frequency. He sighed loudly, letting the air burning in his lungs fizzle out of him, just wanting to penetrate the thick silence. He just wanted to be asleep—he was supposed to get up early to put the coffee on before Lip had a job interview, and then he wanted to go for a jog before he and Mickey had a shit ton of weed runs to do that would jam-pack the entire day tomorrow…
Beside him, Mickey shuffled beneath the covers. Ian froze. Fuck, he did not want to wake Mickey up right now. Mickey was crabby and groggy on the best of mornings, but when he didn’t get enough sleep he was truly a force to be reckoned with.
Unfortunately, Ian’s prayers went unanswered. Mickey drew in a deep breath, rustling under the sheets once more.
“Okay Gallagher, what’re you sighing for?” Mickey’s flat, muffled voice piped up from under his blanket cocoon, low and throaty and full of sleep. He sounded exasperated and deflated, and definitely not fully awake.
Ian let out another long breath, more quietly this time. “Nothing, Mick. Go back to sleep.”
But of course, instead of listening, Mickey aggressively yawned and turned over, stretching to shift his body weight and turn onto his opposite side to face Ian. Ian just remained where he was laying, his head lying limp and heavy on the pillow while he stared up at the ceiling.
Mickey dazedly rubbed his eyes, noticing that Ian was fully awake. Immediately, Mickey shook off the sleep that was clouding his eyes. He stared at Ian for a moment, his eyes wide and searching. After a moment, almost on reflex, he carded a quick, gentle hand through the front of Ian’s hair as he leaned in closer.
“You feeling okay?” Mickey’s voice was distant and drowsy, like he was still half-asleep but trying to will himself to wake up.
Am I feeling okay? There was so much latent meaning wrapped up in that question, and Ian felt a cavernous gratefulness bloom in his chest that this was the way Mickey asked—he wasn’t assuming that Ian being manic was the reason that he couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t rule it out either. Mickey was just waiting for Ian to tell him what he was feeling, what he needed, without assuming anything about Ian’s brain before Ian did.
Am I feeling okay?
Ian swallowed, his glassy eyes still fixated on the cracks in the ceiling that he could barely make out in the dark.
“Yeah. S’not anything to worry about, I’ve been taking my meds. I’m just… stressed out I guess.” Ian could hear the fatigue dripping from his voice as it glided across the darkness.
Mickey was still staring at Ian, his gaze piercing and concerned.
“Stressed out?” Mickey questioned lowly, like he’d never heard the two words before.
“Yes, Mickey, stressed out. I don’t know, it’s fucking stupid, just go back to bed.” Ian sighed in frustration.
Instead, Mickey shifted again, propping himself up on his elbow and leaning fully on his side, looking like a teenage girl at a sleepover who was ready to hear some juicy gossip.
“Well I’m awake now, mouth-breather, so why don’t you tell me what you’re worried about?”
Ian gave a quiet, strangled chuckle. What the fuck was he supposed to say? It just fucking sucked to not be able to sleep, to lie there frustrated with dry eyes and a parched throat, grasped tight in the clutches of whatever worries were lying hollow and dark in the pit of his stomach and not being able to do anything about it.
Ian knew it was stupid, but for the last few months he had been pretty much the only one worrying about keeping things together— getting steady money, putting aside fucking savings, trying to keep the house intact and fill the gaping hole Fiona left behind that Ian still just didn’t fit into right, for the sake of Liam and Franny and Carl now that Lip had moved out. Ian had never really given a shit about money, until he had to start caring about everyone else—and it didn’t bother him, it really didn’t, but now that Ian was caught in this fucking sticky silence, he realized how much worrying about taking care of everyone else was actually wearing him down, grinding away at him bit by bit without him noticing.
He exhaled a heavy, trembling breath.
“Just. I don’t know. Worried about money, I guess? And worried about our job. I know we agreed on guns, and I totally fucking get that now, but I’ve never done a job that’s so… dangerous? And then I’m panicking because what if we make total asses of ourselves with this business bullshit and fail and lose everything, and then we’d be back to square one…”
Mickey just sat there perched on his elbow, listening. He wordlessly reached to press the pad of his thumb to Ian’s forehead, above his eyebrows, smoothing the worry lines and creases that started to bloom there as Ian spoke.
“And I just… I don’t know, my heart’s just fucking racing for some reason tonight and I can’t make it stop.”
Mickey continued to silently run his thumb gently on Ian’s face, tracing above his eyebrow and the side of his temple in a soothing pattern that made Ian’s eyes want to flutter shut for the first time in hours.
“S’there anything I can do?” Mickey’s gravelly, sleepy voice cut through the darkness.
Ian peeled his eyes from the ceiling, and shifted them to meet Mickey’s. He was still staring down at Ian with searing concern, like Ian’s stupid fucking worries were a big deal if they were making him feel this distressed.
“It’s fine, Mick. Just get some sleep.” Ian held Mickey’s gaze for a moment, expecting him to turn back over and wrap the blankets around himself.
Instead, Mickey curled closer, draping a heavy arm over Ian’s waist, followed by a thick and heavier thigh between Ian’s legs, his nose nuzzling into the side of Ian’s neck. Ian froze, just for a moment—Mickey definitely usually wasn’t the one to initiate tender touches of intimacy, but he was half-asleep and he knew how much Ian needed this right now, knew it would calm his racing heart down to a steady beat. Instantly, Ian felt something, some heaviness that was burrowed deep in his chest, dissipate at Mickey’s touch.
“Mick,” Ian said. There was something in his lungs, in his throat, on his tongue. He didn’t know what it was. All he knew is that his heartbeat was slowing, his blood was running through his veins at a normal speed again, and the pressure building in his head starting to dissipate.
“This okay?” Mickey was almost asleep again, and mumbled the words into the crook of Ian’s neck, his breath tickling Ian’s chin.
Ian breathed out with relief, curling a hand over Mickey’s shoulders and drinking in the feeling of Mickey’s warm skin nestled against his, a grounding, solid weight holding him at bay. “Yeah, this is good.”
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