#I purposely avoided being too negative on this blog

[rubys-domain]

I'm a little conflicted on who the last member of my cyno-baizhu team should be

[anshelsgendercrisis]

I appreciate learning from your blogs (both transmasc stuff and Jewish stuff), so if it's not overstepping, I am interested in your thoughts on something. Knowing that the terms Zionism and Zionist are being misused so frequently, I did some introductory reading from a few sources, one of which was the ADL. I've found their Hate Symbols Database helpful in the past, and I was looking into their anti-bias training resources since the school I work for has been failing (spectacularly) at such training. Reading their page on Zionism answered some basic questions, and their Myths and Facts about the ADL page also mentioned that "anti-Zionism equates to antisemitism".

Knowing that you (if I am remembering the specifics correctly, sorry if I'm misremembering) are an anarchist and against the existence of all states (including a Jewish one, thus you have explained you are neither Zionist nor anti-Zionist), I was wondering what your general thoughts are of the ADL's perspective on Zionism, and on the ADL as an organization. I hope this question doesn't come off negatively; I know I'm lacking a lot of knowledge, so I'm very grateful to be corrected on anything I said that's wrong/hurtful/ignorant/naive.

Once I get my recent medical stuff figured out, I look forward to signing up to your Patreon and giving more consistently than here-and-there Kofi donations :)

a little background on the adl: it was founded after the conviction and lynching of leo frank. its original purpose was to pressure media and businesses who engaged in antisemitic discrimination or defamation (hence the name). some of the things they engaged in early on were boycotts, demanding prior review of theater productions to screen for antisemitic content, and pressuring advertisers who relied on antisemitic stereotypes. this was in the time leading up to the holocaust, when violence and discrimination against jews was surging all over the world, so it makes a lot of sense why an organization like this was founded.

in terms of the modern organization, i have mixed feelings. i think their hate symbols database can be helpful, and i think some of the data collection is good as well, but there are a lot of stances they have and statements they've made that i really do not agree with, and some of which i think are harmful. that, for me, is why i don't generally use the adl as a primary or sole source for any news or info. i always double check multiple sources and try to use pages like myjewishlearning for educational things.

the adl is also very explicitly pro israel, as in supportive of the current state and government of israel, which is something i'm very much not. as you mentioned, i am an anarchist so i oppose the concept of states in general, including israel, and i'm also highly critical of the current israeli government.

their page on zionism is...accurate from their point of view, and from a lot of progressive zionists' points of view. but i think it paints a rosy picture of zionism that avoids any of the problematics or history of political zionism, which is just not helpful at this point. they're correct that for most people, zionism means advocating for jewish statehood in eretz yisrael, and that there has absolutely been a sort of "yearning for zion" in the diaspora for hundreds of years. and they are correct that there are many zionists who do not support the current israeli government or who advocate for a two state solution.

i also staunchly disagree that antizionism is in and of itself antisemitism. i think it is an ideology and movement that does very easily and too often fall into antisemitism, just because of the nature of how intertwined the conversation is with jewish identity and the jewish people, and we have seen many examples of this over the past month. however, because of the nebulous nature of the definition of zionism, the definition of antizionism is also going to be nebulous. if someone says "i'm a zionist", unless they elaborate i'm not going to know if i'm talking to someone who thinks that jewish people should be able to live peacefully in eretz yisrael alongside other indigenous people or to someone who wants a sovereign jewish state where jews are the ones in power. if someone says "i'm an antizionist", unless they elaborate i'm not going to know if i'm talking to someone who opposes the current state and government of israel and the occupation or someone who thinks (((zionists))) control the media and the banks and that jewish people as a collective are killing palestinian babies for fun. so for me, the terms "zionism" and "antizionism" are kind of useless unless the person i'm talking to further explains their stance, which means trying to label either zionism or antizionism as entirely inherently Bad is counterintuitive to any goal.

so to wrap this up, for me, an unwillingness to tackle the problematics is why i tend to clash with a lot of zionists and zionist institutions and organizations, and it's why i don't generally trust the adl on anything related to israel without other sources to verify.

[celabi]

been having scummy scara brainrot thanks to u and i cannot stop thinking about that one scenario where reader is also a yandere. love when two little freaks find each other <3 i actually uhh started writing a fic about it but like. idk. i never finish anything. i was hoping i could share some of it (all that i have rn) with u since it is directly inspired by ur blog lol. it's nothing special or interesting so feel free to ignore if u want but here's: scummy scara. from scummy reader's pov :)

~

Scaramouche is obsessed with you. You’re certain of it.

He’s so obvious sometimes that you have to wonder if he wants you to notice. The way his face flushes and his intense gaze flits away every time you make eye contact. The way he shivers and shifts his position every time you innocently tap him on the shoulder or brush against his arm. The way his typical insults stutter and fizzle out whenever you smile at him. The way he seems to inhale the slightest bit deeper when he’s in your presence.

(Just for fun, you had ruffled his hair once and called him a good boy. It was absolutely comical, the strangled noise that left his throat and the instantaneous widening of his eyes as he shot up from his seat and practically bolted to the bathroom. It took everything you had to school your expression into sympathetic concern - or at least, something other than the smug grin threatening to break through - when he came back several minutes later, all sweaty bangs and wobbly legs, mumbling something about a sudden stomachache.)

He’s so cute, how can you resist indulging him now and then? It doesn’t hurt to leave your used napkins and chewed gum at the top of the trashcan for him to pilfer when he thinks you’re not looking, does it? They’d just go to waste anyway! And so what if you started leaving your blinds cracked or switched out your curtains for more translucent ones? You’re just trying to let in more sunlight, and if that just so happens to make it easier for him to take his little photos - well, what’s the harm in that, really?

Of course, you had to make sure it was only you that he loved before rewarding him too much. Although you’ve painstakingly ensured that his reputation is just negative enough for most others to avoid him, the occasional rumor here and there, surely it’d only be a matter of time before someone realized how adorable he really was. His eyes had sparkled with nothing but awe and reverence for you when you gave him that cat plushie for his birthday, too infatuated with you to even think about checking it for the listening device you implanted inside. Ever since then, you’d gotten your confirmation many times over; every night, as a matter of fact, with a symphony of sweet, pathetic moans and whimpers of your name into the plushie - accompanied by very familiar slick, wet sounds - until his voice was hoarse. (It was a shame you hadn’t installed a camera instead, but you’d been worried about it being too conspicuous.)

But no matter how utterly endearing his obsession with you is, you can’t help feeling frustrated. Just a bit. Because if he’s really this enamored of you, why hasn’t he made a damn move yet? He hasn’t asked you out, hasn’t even attempted to drug or kidnap you, and he’s only broken into your apartment twice. You’d even done him the courtesy of pretending you were asleep, but the following mornings, the only notable changes you’d discovered each time were that a few pairs of dirty underwear had disappeared from the laundry hamper, and a few new cameras had been hidden around your bedroom. Not a single mysterious stain on your pajamas or inexplicable mark on your skin. It was almost insulting.

At this rate, you might just have to take matters into your own hands.

~

Oh wow this is hot 🫣 he’s so cute jfc, I’m in love with this ??1!1? Your writing is 💋, and you captured him perfectly what 😭😭 and reader knowing of his obsession and purposely teasing him??? 🤭🤭 I love it so much, thank you for sending this!!

sorry for replying so late, I’m not feeling too good atm. <33

[elitehanitje]

Everyone has the right to express their opinions, but I find it irritating AF when they do so condescendingly. Some people seem to have something negative to say every time they post. While they are entitled to their opinions, I've decided to mute them to avoid seeing their comments. I don't appreciate their constant negativity on every post (especially against AEW all the time).

People are creating GIFs of their favorite wrestlers to share with others and reblog them. We're sharing happiness! I'm on Twitter too, but of course, I block all of those toxic stans.

I've noticed that some dudes enjoy posting negative comments about Eddie Kingston, Willow Nightingale, Deonna Purrazzo, and JD Drake, criticizing their weight and suggesting that only wrestlers with a body like Hulk Hogan/Sable are athletes. I'm willing to bet that all of them could outrun everyone while these so-called fans struggle to catch their breath after lifting themselves off the toilet.

They also disguised their opinion by starting as "sympathetic" and then talked about a wrestler's finisher by saying things like, "I'm sorry, I know the wrestler has faced a lot of tragedy, but I think his finisher is stupid, and it's surprising that people still buy into it in the 21st century, let alone believe in it." And then added, "The finisher is weak and unrealistic. It couldn't possibly kill or even injure a human being, so it's not believable."

Hello, fella - do you wish to see a wrestler kill other wrestlers in the ring? Like a genuine murder? After reading the comment, I got the impression that they believe something is only valuable if it causes harm in real life.

Pro Wrestling is entertainment with characters who have unusual abilities like cursing, spewing black goo, and Peacock Power. Sadly, some fans take it too seriously and want to see harm done. This is NOT pure boxing, MMA/mixed martial arts competition, fellas. It is a form of sports + entertainment that involves predetermined outcomes, storytelling, and various character tropes. I don't understand why some fans dislike fun and wish the wrestlers to get hurt on purpose.

I seriously don't care if they said it on their own blogs. I care when people write long rants about a company they dislike on reblogs. It's not your post! Leave it! Also, asking others about how much they hate AEW to some AEW fans is pointless. The reason why they are doing it is because nobody is interacting with them. So they submit (anonymous) questions to bait the Tumblr fans.

"Oh - so you only want positive comments instead of criticism?" Uhhh, YES. I want good vibes on my blog. Also, DEATH THREATS to minority groups is not a criticism, you miscreants.

Nonetheless, I accept criticism about the companies or pro wrestling: the most valid criticism is the toxic environment behind the scenes. I will block these toxic stans who defend rapists whenever they defend sexual harassment, assault, rape, or even murder within the wrestling community.

Some people on social media believe that wrestlers deserve to die for having a finishing move they dislike or how "woke" the posts are. I saw some of the profiles of these "fans" - Yikes, big nope. What is it with those fans defending questionable individuals?

Please keep in mind that it is not okay to criticize someone for identifying as gender fluid or to deny someone the title of an athlete because they don't fit your personal physical preferences or even sexual preferences. If you hate AEW, it's your choice. Just stop invading our space and spout hate for the show you don't even watch. Let's block each other so we don't have to see each other.

I'm not saying people shouldn't reblog and say that they hate some of the characters - that's how fandom works sometimes, but holy shet, fellas. When those haters just hate for the sake of hate, it's time to avoid them.

[rpcburnbook]

Honestly wasn't sure if you should submit ask or post so I did both. Opps sorry!

I won't post anon and no I am not an admin over on OJ just a memeber. When speaking and talking about others maybe think about your actions and words. ALSO FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GET OFF ANON. You're just showing how scared you are to admit it outloud. Tearing people down on Tumblr when you are over the age of 20 is ridiculous. So here you go. Let's answer some questions about OJ.

what the fuck is orange juice?

A site.... pretty sure that is obvious babe.

Re: OJ; lmao ik you gotta lick your wounds cause you lost some great plots but this is so not the vibe 😂 // not the OP but plots weren't even mentioned?? I'm on OJ and trying to fit in but it's NOT EASY. Clear they all know each other from somewhere and aren't super accepting of new people. All I see on OJ is smut anyway and I want actual plots.

I am on OJ and have written plenty non smutty plots. There are several friend and family requests up. Join one. 

If you are jealous just say so love. Posting anon makes you a coward and given the age range on these sites I know you are way too old for that shit. You don't need to be there if you don't want to be and we honestly don't want your shit ass attitude anyway darling. Keep the negativity out of our server please and thank you.

who on oj is toxic? who should i be avoiding?? got me worried, i joined recently….

Legit nobody that I know of. Go make friends and put yourself out there. Keep in mind not everyone will be for you and that is fine. We are on the internet not in a room with these people. Most of the members have been rping for over a year together so it may not feel easy to reach out but I promise everyone is nice. I do not know a single person who would be like go away if you messaged them.

re: OJ: aka all of the people who say they're inclusive and not in a clique lmao glad they left the site that i'm on byeeeeeeeeeee //lmao ik you gotta lick your wounds cause you lost some great plots but this is so not the vibe 😂

I am on the site ur on babe. I stayed even after hopping on over to OJ and I can say the vibes are 10/10 over on OJ when comparing both. Love both sites but this isn't cute and gives a bad rep to UP (cause it only makes sense that this is the site you are on)  that their members are over here tearing down another site and it's memebers. It is okay to leave a site that no longer serves it's purpose. It also SUCKS when you are on a site and every decent face has been claimed. Stay over there and enjoy your plots. Leave OJ to the people who actually enjoy it. You don't need to be negative at all. It's okay to move on from people who no longer serve you in life including RP partners. RP is a hobby and this is not high-school. Clearly some people haven't lost their mean girl/boy streak since then. Also on the other site NOBODY has reached out to me for plots like they do on OJ. I've had to be the one to reach out almost every single time to do or start anything. It's frustrating. As someone on three seperate sites each site works different for individual people. The people who left the other site left because they did not feel valued or did not click with it anymore. It's okay to do that and the fact people are whining about it is hilarious and frankly immature af. There are 10000's of jcink rp sites. This is not a compeition.

MORAL OF THE STORY. Shut up, go role-playing and stop being rude af on a tumblr blog. It's old.....Like 2010 old and you sound ridiculous. DO BETTER.

.###

[pragmatic-optimist]

An Appeal re: Anon Asks

For the last week (although honestly, the last six months), I've been having conversations on and off about the responsibility of answering asks on your blog and the impact it has on fandom as a community. 

At some point during Season 2 of Lone Star, the Anon asks, in particular, got truly out of control, and it's only gotten worse over time. Your blogs are your blogs, and I respect that. At the same time, as a fandom community, we share this space. Whether or not we all know one another, we're all coexisting in the tags and on this site. It takes a lot of emotional labor and time to filter and block on Tumblr, especially when folks don't tag consistently or correctly. Like many in this fandom, I also want to have fun while I'm here, but it's hard to do that when there seems to be little to no discernment in answering asks or properly tagging them.  

When it comes to unnecessary negative comments on fanfic, we often say, "it's not hard to close out of something if you don't like it." The spirit of that applies here, too. It's easy not to answer an ask, especially an Anon ask.

If someone isn't putting their name on something they're asking you to post to your blog, I would argue it requires an additional second and third look and careful consideration of how you answer it. (Certain asks are answered flippantly and then tagged for all to see, but that is an entirely separate post I won't be writing). 

Everything you share gets eyes; how many depends on how loud of a voice you're considered in the fandom. And it's been my experience that the louder the voice, the more substantial the likelihood you'll find problematic Anon asks in your inbox. Answering these asks on your blog gives them a platform, and tagging them gives them an audience outside of your followers. If you're a "big blog," it increases the odds that some of us will also be subjected to these problematic asks through reblogs. All of this broadly impacts fandom conversation because now it's deemed acceptable to send XYZ type of ask, use XYZ word(s), bring up XYZ topic, or talk about XYZ actor(s) or character(s) in any type of way.

The whole "this is Tumblr, it's not that serious" argument is privileged because some of this stuff is serious for someone like me (and others in this space). I can't just pretend someone isn't implicitly making it seem okay to say certain things, especially if their blog is looked at as a popular fandom source.

This ask is just one example of what I'm talking about:

It's the use of a racialized fetish term, and honestly, it's super cringe. Seeing this in the show tag is deeply uncomfortable as a Latinx person. What was the point of answering this ask and then tagging it? It serves no purpose and hangs out in the show tag like we all just throw it around (we don’t). It's been brought to attention, and still, it lingers. 

A fandom community should be safe and fun for all, but we don't live in a perfect world, so it takes work. Part of being in a community and doing the work is kindly holding people accountable to make it that way and being willing to have constructive conversations when concerns are raised. It's not accountability if you only show "remorse" when your friends bring something to your attention, and then nothing changes.

Accountability also ceases to exist when the fandom community chooses deep avoidance, handwaving things away whenever someone tries to share a concern. I have no idea why this keeps happening here, but I do know that every time it happens, it is profoundly isolating and makes it clear that fandom is only meant to be fun for some. The rest of us have to either put up with it or leave. 

If that's the message the Lone Star fandom intends to send, it's being received loud and clear. 

****

(Edit: the post is finally down, but I’ve shared a screenshot because it took three days and more than one person to address it publicly and this is exactly what I’m talking about.)

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! How are you doing? I wanted to ask since you've been in the fandom for a long time, what are you what are some of your favorite sites to interact with other mystic messenger fans? Do you have any advice on how to deal with fans who are a little too extreme or a bully? I have played MM since it came out but only this year have I interacted with the fandom and I've had so much whiplash compared to other fandom spaces.

So far I think Tumblr is the best. I find the people here are a lot calmer and nice. I like to tweet but I don't have many mutuals there who share my interest and reddit is just... Toxic. Its odd because most of the subs I'm on are very mellow and even if there is a disagreement I don't get downvoted to oblivion but the MM sub can be high tension. There have been times where I say something like "Ray is cute" or I could be saying similar things as others who have upvotes and be in the negatives. I can at least understand more controversial opinions like "I want a Rika route" or something but it feels like once you get a "bad" opinion You're just gonna get downvoted forever even on other threads. It's a shame because I think the format of reddit makes it easier to talk to people but I feel very discouraged. I wanted to give the Amino a shot but I've heard very bad things about it so I've been avoiding it.

In that sense I appreciate your blog. Even if there's a character or a route you don't like youre very nice and understanding and you're very inclusive in your writing. It really makes my day to see your character analysis and head canons. I wish there were more forum sites without a like or upvote/downvote system. I don't want my opinions to be ranked, I just want to blab about my silly little favs. Any advice or words of encouragement would be appreciated. Thanks for your time 🙂 🩷

I interact with people on Tumblr and Discord! Discord can be tough to navigate since you can't check out a community before you join it, however, I can vouch for SapphireIceCream's server if you ever want to join a Discord community. But, outside of that, I'm comfortable in this cozy space on Tumblr! It's quiet, but that's not a bad thing. That isn't a sign of there being nobody in the fandom here, we're just here in our space, relaxing and enjoying the game without worrying about this or that.

I have a Twitter, but I mainly use it retweet other artists. I don't talk on there even though there's an active fan base over there. Sometimes I see debate, but given who I follow, it tends to be warranted analysis and/or criticism as opposed to old themes the fandom already dealt with over the years.

I haven't gone onto Reddit for the game before and I don't intend to, because I don't want to see the same arguments play out fifty times that we've already had here on Tumblr years ago and have settled in a comfortable place of peace and quiet knowing where we all stand in those conversations. I'm not sure about TikTok or who's active there, though I don't post there outside of a cosplay or two, so I can't speak to what goes on there.

I would never suggest Amino. I've heard a lot of horror stories about that place and never tried it myself because of that, not just for this fandom but for many others.

If you want my advice about avoiding conflict in a fandom, start blocking people. I think people feel like blocking is only served for extreme purposes, but that's not the case, block people who annoy you. You don't have to have an explanation as to why you blocked somebody.

They don't even have to be a bad person, maybe you don't like their opinions or what have you, and that's okay. To cultivate a space in a fandom for yourself, you have to make it enjoyable for yourself, and that means using a feature that is there for you to do whatever you want with it. 

Or, if you feel as though it's too extreme to block somebody, just scroll past them. Don't engage with something that makes you upset because it's just going to sully your experience. I can give you a good example, if I see anybody write content where Saeran and Saeyoung are consuming alcohol, I either A) block them or B) scroll past the post because I simply can’t handle seeing someone disrespect the boundaries those boys have with alcohol. It feels like a slap in to the face, especially for someone with similar trauma as them.

Because, unfortunately, when I see it written, it's not somebody doing a character introspective where one of them wants to try a sip of alcohol because they want to better understand why their mother would do everything she did just for a drink that tastes like piss. It's a piece where the characters are at a damn bar and they are happily consuming alcohol with no regard to their trauma as if it was never something to begin with. For my comfort, I block or move past those people.

It's not going to do me any good emotionally to comment or reblog a post like that to start a conflict. So, I either ignore that or block the person who wrote it. After all, I can't tell anybody that they're not allowed to write something, people can create whatever the hell they want to create, but I don't have to consume or see it. That's a part of cultivating a healthy experience in fandom. The old motto: Don't like, don't read. That’s something great about Ao3. I can plug in “Exclude: this, this, this”, and I never have to worry about reading a story where something happens that gives me the ick.

People are going to have opinions, and we're not always going to agree about each other's opinions, but you have to make sure that you are in a place where you can engage with other people without feeling like you're going to get an egg thrown at your head. Like, I get people who get very angry at me for trying to understand who Rika Kim is as a person a lot. I get it, she's a controversial character, and you either love her or hate her, there aren't a lot of people who are in-between.

I want to know why she has done what she's done because I think she's interesting as an antagonist, but that doesn’t equate to me condoning or supporting her crimes. Just because you like a specific character who isn’t a good person doesn’t mean you support their wrongdoings.

There seem to be brewing problems with people’s media literacy in that regard as of late. The world isn’t black and white, it's shades of grey. It’s complicated, messy, and difficult in every sense of the word. There is good and evil in this world, and there are times when there is a sense of right and wrong with no middle ground between it—because what was done was either unforgivable and wrong or the right thing to do. But, to apply black and white thinking to every situation you've come across is a detriment to your health and world view.

I think it’s important to say you can hate and judge Rika for committing countless crimes, but it’s okay if you empathize or even sympathize with the trauma she suffered as a child, too. When I think about her as a character, I want her to face as much jail time as she deserves for everything she's done, but I also want her to be able to find a therapist who can help her find peace from what she suffered as a child. I can want her to face justice but also hope that she finds peace someday.

The nuance of Saeran's After Ending can be a minefield when it comes to online discussions and I've seen everything you could possibly think of.

People get angry with him because he decided that he wanted to forgive everyone who hurt him. But, that's another long conversation to be had about what we’re taught about forgiveness. It's also not a case of extreme thinking where you either forgive someone and let them back in or hold onto the anger forever and scorn them. Those are just part of the story of forgiveness and judgment.

Those examples are a part of what people can choose to find peace, but they’re not the only path. Saeran decided to be someone who forgives. He doesn't forgive because he wants to let those people back into his life, he wants to forgive them so that he can learn how to forgive himself, because every ugly, bitter thought and action he committed was an echo of what they had done to him, and if he could find it in himself to forgive them, he could forgive himself for what he did to the player. 

He wants nothing to do with his Saejoong, V, or Rika. He just needed closure by forgiving them and finding peace his own way.

I understand why people feel upset with him because they've been taught that forgiveness is something where the only option is to forgive and forget. He chose to forgive, but he will never forget. He chose to forgive, but he will never allow them the opportunity to hurt him ever again. If you're not the kind of person who would choose to forgive somebody, he would respect you and your decision.

That's the great thing about his after ending compared to what happened to Jihyun, who got the short end of the stick. It makes it abundantly clear that no matter what you decide to do, it is your decision to make as a victim and nobody will ever take away that decision from you or make you feel like you have to choose one thing or another. 

But, you can see how these conversations are filled with a lot of nuance, and it takes a little bit of time and self-reflection to understand why we feel a visceral reaction to these kinds of stories as people. It's easy for a conversation to get carried away when we're talking about something heavy, and it's even easier for us to get angry at other people as we're having these discussions.

I'm sorry you haven't been able to have a lot of fun discussing the game and everything in it, but, if you start posting around here, I'm sure you'll find a sense of comfort and community from those of us who are here. 

Fandom can be hard to get into when you're trying to learn the nuances of how to interact with other people, but make sure that you're making an experience that's created for yourself first and foremost. Don't hesitate to use that block button. 

[beautifulhigh]

I have a question for you that I really hope you'll answer. But if you think it might start discourse you'd rather avoid, I understand if you ignore this.

So I love both OG and LS and I follow a bunch of popular blogs in both fandoms. but so many of those folks watch only one of the two shows and are pretty rude about the other one, by insulting cast members and making fun of even the popular well-received storylines. often they don't tag such posts in any particular way so there's no way to filter those out. I sent a few of them asks requesting if they'd tag such posts. Some agreed to but they haven't actually done it. I've seen you interact in a pretty friendly way with some of those accounts and I'm wondering, how do you do it? Everyone always says to unfollow but I genuinely don't want to miss out on the other posts these ppl share. I enjoy those other posts. It's just these particular posts that diss the shows that I want to avoid but can't. I've tried ignoring it, I've tried laughing it off, but I don't think I'm very good at managing my emotions because I always still end up feeling low and negative when I see such posts. How do you manage to interact with people with opinions you clearly don't share? I'd really appreciate any tips. I really don't want to withdraw from these two fandoms but I don't know how to remain while also maintaining a healthy emotional state.

Firstly, I'm sorry this has happened to you. I really am. And I want to stress that this reply is 100% around my experience and the way I have curated my fandom experience, and YMMV. I hope that it doesn't vary too much but this is how I deal with it. I'm going to tag a few people in this, people who I have on my dash, purely to illustrate the diversity and how you can approach things.

I'm also going to pre-empt things and say that if you read a line and you get mad at me for that one line, I want you to do two things. Firstly, I want you to go outside and touch grass. Secondly, I want you to maybe read the full thing and engage some level of critical thinking before you start yelling at me that I'm being inconsiderate because you have a grass allergy so how DARE I tell you to go touch grass?

Also, because I want this to have a bit of a reach and I know people do curate their dashes, I'm going to be a bit sneaky with how I refer to things to actively circumvent any filters. Should make sense what I'm actually referring to but if you're not sure then please ask.

Step one

Curate your experience. I mean this. One of the few joys of this hellsite is that you are in control over your dash. You can't control who people on your dash reblog but you can start with who is on your dash. If you don't want to block anyone then you can filter by blog names and install add ons like Tumblr Savior.

Step two

Remember why you're on this hellsite in the first place. Chances are it's for fandom purposes. And, given the premise of your ask, I'm going to focus on the TV element of it. So you're here because you like one or both of the weewoo shows and you want to share thoughts and ideas and reblogs of gif sets of people who are WAY too pretty to just be out there like normal people. And because we're hardwired that way, we want to seek connections with people. So we follow blogs and we talk to people and we have our mutuals and we message then and chat with them and we develop relationships with them because we all watch the same TV show.

But – and this is the point that I think a lot of fandom forgets. It's a fucking TV show. That's it. A silly little show which is 99% designed for entertainment and distraction. I am not ignoring the fact that there will be parts of both shows which have impact above and beyond the show, but Ryan Murphy et al did not set out to make shows with the primary goals of changing people's lives.

It is a TV show. It isn't actually life or death. So the first thing you need to ask yourself I have represented in a nice little flow chart with ALT text:

Negative and hateful ideas

Yes, it's a TV show. But that doesn't stop shitty people saying shitty things. I love that both OG and LS have a diverse cast. I love that both of them explore difficult issues such as addiction and a sense of self-worth. I love that both of them have characters who are tragedy magnets and are both dealing with an entire back story of guilt and grief and a sense of failure and so we are rooting for them to find the self-worth that we know they deserve. Is this Evan? Tyler Kennedy? Both of them? Maybe Eduado, or Carlos? Both captains have their tragedy stories.

But what I'm talking about here is people making comments that are, no matter your views or stances, way out of line. Be them about the characters or the actors, you know exactly the kind that I mean. Commenting on the ethnicity, gender, sexuality of characters/actors. Making statements about race or religion. The Big Stuff that most of us know is way out of line.

So if someone is hating on "Buddy" because one of them is of Latinex descent? Screw you, step on a Lego. If you're hating on "Tarlus" because both of the actors are queer? You can fuck right off now. If you dislike Hen's storylines because she's a proud, queer black woman? Sit on a spike. If you want Paul to shut up and go away because he's trans? Walk off a short pier.

If you wish Owen had less seggsy and screen time? You'll find friends in both camps! But that's about the character and the storytelling.

A good rule of thumb is: can it be changed? If no, don't be a bitch about it. Oliver can't change his birthmark, Alisha can't change her skin colour, Rafael can't change his sexuality, Brian can't change his gender identity.

But they could write "Buddy" as queer. They could write Owen not drooling over some woman. And so we are going to have and express opinions over this.

We know where those lines are and those are the ones we have to draw. We have to shut down those voices and make it clear that they are not welcome because a) we need to make sure there are more safe spaces than there aren't, and b) we need to send the message that this kind of hate isn't OK.

Now where fandom seems to have an issue is where it comes to different opinions. This is because we equate what we like with who we are, and for many people fandom is a part of their identity as a person. There are so many reasons for this – good and otherwise. You see yourself represented in the show, the characters. The storylines resonate with you. It got you through the worst time in your life. You met amazing people because of it. Fandom is a good thing, it truly is, and it exists BECAUSE people take shows and characters and storylines to heart.

So if you come at the fandom then it feels like you're under attack. But you're not. Have another flow chart, also with alt text.

And I'm going to tag my wonderful friend @capseycartwright in this because she hates LS with a passion. I would go so far as to say it's probably visceral? Still follow her, still love her, and I still read her "Buddy" fics because she's an amazing writer. And the reason for this is because there isn't a single comment she makes about LS that is personal or hateful or spiteful. She just doesn't like it.

Now even if she did make a post saying "anyone who watches LS is dumb" I'll still follow her. Because if I follow my flow chart, even though I would call her a friend and maybe say I know her? She's not someone I'm related to and I don't have to deal with her on the day to day. Also she's not saying "Jen is dumb for liking LS". Even if she was, still not related so whatevs.

I'm also going to tag @paperstorm who isn't an OG fan, doesn't watch it at all, isn't at all shy in expressing her opinions on anything. If OG stuff crosses her dash she doesn’t engage. [Edited to clarify]

Now when @capseycartwright makes a post about LS, one of two things happen. Most of the time I just keep on scrolling. She's expressing her opinion about a show she doesn't watch, doesn't like, and has picked up on something that she's commenting on. She's not saying anything awful that would be picked up on the first flow chart so why do I care? I'm not going to get her to change her mind and honestly? It doesn't matter if she does or she doesn't.

I may comment – like I did on her wedding post – if I feel I can offer something to help explain something. She posted about "Tarlus" not cancelling the wedding so, as someone who has watched the episodes and had the information, I pointed out that they were absolutely going to do that but even the grieving widow was all for them having it go ahead.

The trick here is to be respectful. If I come at her with "well ACTUALLY" then it's not going to work. I just dropped in, said my bit, then left. People are still going to think the wedding shouldn't have happened - hell, there's people in the LS fandom who feel like that.

Could it have been written differently? Yes. So opinions get to be had and respected so long as they're respectful, as per the first flow chart.

We can debate if they should have gotten married in the episode. I'm not debating their right to get married.

When @paperstorm responds to an OG ask about something, same principle. Is she being hateful? No. Can I add anything to help explain/clarify? If yes, do it then move on. [Edited for clarity]

Be the change etc etc

If I wanted to start a fight, I could drop into the tags "OMG Buddy/Tarlus is awful and the characters deserve so much better". And people who have made fandom a huge part of who they are will take that a lot more to heart than people who haven't. Only you know where you fall on that spectrum.

Most people are not going to change their minds. I'm not going to be able to convince @capseycartwright that Tarlus are endgame and get her signed up to the "Peaches and Cherries" crew. I'm not going to convince @paperstorm that the OG crew are a wonderful example of how the love of your found family can help you rebuild and find strength with your blood family. And neither of them are going to convince me to bail on the other show!

Fandom doesn't recruit through arguments. Fandom recruits through gif sets and fics and metas and all of the good stuff that comes out of enjoying a show. Fandom grows through people sharing their love of a show and the characters involved in it. It doesn't recruit and it doesn't grow through arguments.

So if people are saying stuff you don't agree with, so long as they are not hurting anyone? Let them. Why are you ruining your peace and your enjoyment yelling into the wind? If you don't follow them and you're only coming across them because they are tagging their hate so it shows in the tags, then realise they're doing it to get the reaction from you. I'm not letting that petty win so I will keep on scrolling. And if it's on my dash? Well then I will just check that they've not decided to indulge in some -ism statements, and then I will keep on scrolling.

Because fandom is supposed to be fun. It's supposed to be uplifting. And there is enough shit out there in the world right now without yucking someone else's yum. Even if you don't understand it. (I don't understand how anyone can eat mushrooms, but I'm not running around a restaurant knocking them off people's plates.)

We like different things. We like what others dislike. And there are so many ways for you to find room and balance those things in your life if you want to. If they don't want to then that's their issue, not yours. Think about the friends you have IRL – do you share every single interest with them? Some of my closest friends are huge Drag Race fans, but not once have I had an issue with them discussing it in our group chat or making plans which exclude me for them to go and see shows.

I don't care that @capseycartwright is a huge Buddy fan. She loves them, it brings her joy, and so I love that for her. I love that she has something in this world which brings her enjoyment, even if I don't share it.

I don't care that @paperstorm doesn't like OG, and I'm pretty certain she doesn't care that I do.

What I do care about is whether it matters in the grand scheme of things. And honestly? More of fandom doesn't matter in the Big Picture than does. It matters when we use it to do great things. It matters when it helps people feel seen and heard and represented. It doesn't matter when your ship isn't canon/gets married.

tl;dr – if people are being deliberately shitty then the block button is your friend. Otherwise, why does it matter if someone has a different opinion to you?

I know this has gotten stupid long, but I wanted to do it justice because you seem to be struggling with it. And if you ever want to talk to me off anon then please do.

[fractoluminescence]

I keep getting the urge to start a blog or something that just analyzes awesome fics, but I also don't want to risk bringing attention to fics from people that weren't the target audience, since they wouldn't have explicitly looked for them, yunno? I could ask the authors, but I'm mostly on AO3 and too many wouldn't see the comment by the time I lose interest... I'm even more on the fence about it since so many authors, even ones that have a lot of experience, might not be be comfortable with their works being dissected and possibly criticizes in certain aspects. It'd all be in good fun, I'm not fond of dunking on works in the first place and tend to focus on the strength of a work, but if I want it to be usable as a learning resource of sorts I can't completely gloss over the downsides of fics either. I also risk spoiling a lot of the plot and stuff, and I know I don't follow the advice of watching a movie before listening to someone comment on it in a lot of cases, so I would assume a lot of people would do the same for this...

Hhh, I dunno. I love dissecting fics so much. But if it's gonna come with negative effects for other people, I don't know if it's worth it. The last thing I want is risk damaging the very thing I am trying to celebrate...

I could take suggestions for people's own fics, because that way I'd be sure the author would agree to the whole thing, but I struggle to keep up with things like this, since I tend to write long posts on a whim. I worry that the suggestions would just pile up and most of them would never get looked at by me at all...

There's also the issue of fics that are prime examples of what not to do. The only person who can decide that a story wasn't worth writing is its author imo, but that doesn't stop some fics from being paragons of massive flaws that could be used as studies for other people to avoid the particular issues they display. But again, I'm not very comfortable with the ethics of that. Some of the authors for these fics could be young, or insecure, or have a relationship to their writing that is very personal, and certain types of flaws could send a lot of hate their way. But referencing a fic without naming it or describing it enough that people can look it up can make the criticism so vague at times that it no longer serves the purpose it was written out for.

I just. I've been thinking about this for months, and all I can come up with is that if I ever do really start trying to help advise fic writers in their journey to improve their craft, I might have to vaguely refer to things I have witnessed at most without ever giving concrete examples. But it might work, who knows. Or I could use my own writing, but there are only so many flaws and successes I can demonstrate with the writing of a single person.

Man, I dunno. Would love to have second opinions about this, if anyone has any

[cuntryhuman]

CONTACT YOUR GOVERNMENT AND DEMAND A CEASEFIRE FOR PALESTINE

For Eu look up:

Voices in Europe for peace

For Usa look up:

US campaign for Palestinian rights

BOYCOTT FOR PALESTINE

FOA (Friends of Al-Aqsa) have organized a boycott in support of palestine. Here are the key companies to boycott:

HP (Hewlett Packard)

Coca-Cola

Israeli produce

We will be ending our call to boycott PUMA once the contract with IFA officially dissolves in 2024. Until then, we encourage you to continue boycotting PUMA products.

Please help to spread the word by sending this copypasta to as many blogs as you can and/or going to FOAs website where you can find posters to download and print out

I have. I have hundreds of times. But also as if now im trying to disconnect from the news because im fucking sick on the daily to the point i cannot move most days. I understand your reasoning, but also consider

I AM A CHILD

A CHRONICALLY ILL CHILD who KNOWS hes dying at twenty. I don't buy from the brands period because 1, i dont weird expensive/brand shoes, as im poor, i get my shit from handmedowns. 2, i *mostly* try to eat healthy through whatever the food pantry has.

Listen, i understand talking about it. it's a genocide. But you also have to consider

It's a genocide

Not everyones in the mental headspace to hear about it everyday, like myself. Right now im avoiding topic like this for several reason, me being sick for one, two im currently dealing with legal stuff relating to my moms ex boyfriend who SAed me, while being attacked on another blog and accused of faking my own race. Yes, it's bad. But god bringing awareness like this will only harm its purpose, especially for blogs like me that are personal blogs meant as a self escape.

Im trying, ok? But right now, im putting myself above all else as it's something I've never done, and it hurt me. Im trying to heal myself. This is the equivalent of those slideshows on TikTok that are " swipe 4 cute animal" then show you the most god awful things going on. again i acknowledge, this shts fucking AWFUL. but I as a human genuinely don't have an affect because im 1, too poor to afford first hand items. 2, too sick to be able to deal with myself and the stress of constant negative bombardment.

[kpopwerewolf]

Introduction Post

So, I figured I probably should write this

SO! I'm a neurodivergent dragon (/lh /nsrs) that has a whole mess of conditions (described at the end of the post) and has a passion for reading, writing, fanfiction, languages, conlanging, animals, random factoids I'll never have an occasion to use, and mythical creatures! (Hence the "neurodivergent dragon.")

I don't like to give out my ""real"" name (by that i mean birth name) over the internet, but you can call me Skye because I like her (Agents of SHIELD tv show).

I made a tumblr account on accident, tbh. (I think i was trying to bypass a paywall??) But it works because I've been curious about joining for a while now.

Feel free to send me random factoids (especially about language or animals!) and anything conlang-related!

If you have any mythical creatures you want to share (either from pre-existing mythology or ones you just made up), I'll gladly welcome that, too!

------

Please do NOT send me anything asking for money or links to a gofundme. I sympathize with whatever situation you're going through, but it makes me very anxious to receive such asks and I get paranoid about which ones are real versus scams.

-----

The userboxes below are credited to @critter-stuff(link), @inclusysboxes(link), and @plural-this-user-is(link). (Sorry about the ping! If you want me to remove it, let me know!)

Our system-specific (and rather inactive) blog is @werewolf-pack-system(link)

We also started an emoji blog (mainly for aac purposes): @wolf-pack-emojis(link)

(Also, I'm not a minor, but please treat me as one in the manner of if you wouldn't send it to a minor, don't send it to me. I'm very sensitive and have some religious beliefs that make it awkward for me to see NSFW or related material.)

----------

[ID: a userbox that says "This system user alter and headmate interchangeably" //end ID]

[ID: a userbox that says "This system doesn't switch often" //end ID]

[ID: a userbox that says "This system does not participate on Syscourse." //end ID]

(information/discussion of neurodivergencies under the cut)

(Warning! CW self-harm and suicide; eating disorder mention; brief, vague mentions of unreality; potentially other triggering material)

-----------

Sensory processing disorder

Diagnosed when i was about to enter 4th grade.

Lots of negative auditory triggers, with crowds beings sensory misery

LOVE SPINNING LOVE SWINGING [PT: love spinning love swinging //end PT]

Rain. Just... rain. Rain on my face, my arms, just rain all the time.

If i touch a Bad Texture(tm), i must immediately rub the after-touch feeling off my hand

I like going without socks, but only on carpet. If i walk on hard surfaces, then i start feeling grit under my feet and that's just not cool.

Pain and temperature sensitive

I have many stims, mostly proprioceptive (such as rocking [my fave!]), but also have a few visual and tactile stims as well. Fewer auditory stims, but i do use music to help me calm down after i get stressed

Anxiety

Was self-diagnosed for many years; got my official diagnosis a few years ago

Mix of social anxiety and GAD

Makes it hard for me to talk/initiate in conversations

Doesn't help i'm introverted

Depression

Comorbid with the anxiety

Was a bit of a surprise honestly (though i am a bit suicidal and have self-harmed)

Not really a whole lot to go here as i'm still working to understand my depression

PTSD

Diagnosed along with the anxiety

I don't personally see it, but i also kinda do

Diagnosed due to an incident that happened in 5th grade

(Public school is terrible, btw)

Also not a whole lot to go here as i don't really understand my PTSD either

Avoidant Personality Disorder

Also dxed with the anxiety

Don't know much about it, but having it has made me curious about personality disorders in general, so i hope to learn more in the future!

Synesthesia

I'm sure you've noticed the way each disorder has been colored. That's because I'm synesthesia color matching! (Word-color approximations)

I also have pain-color (mostly red; when it's magenta or pink, it's bad; i've only had white once and i hope to never have it again)

(Later edit: I'm now experiencing pain in my jaw that is orange. It's more mild than red, but also sorta worse somehow 'cause it lingers? That's not really the right word, but it's the closest I can come to)

Emotion-color

Ticker-tape (though this has sorta faded)

Chromesthesia/sound-color -- only certain sounds, though, primarily music. Each song has it's own "color" and i tend to align my music preferences along that (for example, i pefer "dark" songs [those that have a black background color] over "bright" songs [those that tend to have a white or similarly-bright colored background])

Associator. Sometimes wish i was a projector

Fascinated by all things synesthesia

Plurality

Syscovery occured in June 2023

We have non-disordered mixed traumagenic and endogenic origins (we don't like to use traumaendo for ourselves)

There are a little over 35 of us that we're aware of, but I (Skye) am the primary one to use this site :) (The others may make their own accounts if they're interested)

Schizotypal Personality Disorder

Confident enough now to officially say I'm self-diagnosing this one

I started thinking it was a possibility when I realized that I tend to have various paranoid ideations and delusions ((tw) such as thinking that the dogs barking as I'm walking home from the park are telling Them where i am [no clue who "Them" would be]), superstitious-like beliefs, and a distinct repulsion of anything social (separate from anxiety or AvPD; just a "i don't feel like dealing with people" kinda weariness)

Schizoid Personality Disorder

Confident enough to now name this one, too.

The things which make me question it include a strong need for isolation to regain energy, periods of finding everything boring and uninteresting, general vague distrust of others, and just a very intense repulsion of human interaction.

---

Eating Disorder?

I've been dealing with something that (from what i've been able to find) looks a lot like ARFID, but I don't really know if i have it

I consider it more "ARFID questioning" i guess

One of the more concerning aspects of this is that I've started to become physically nauseous by the smell of food, even stuff I like. I eat much less than I should and have in the past, and if I try to eat more, I feel sick. I've tried talking to my mom about it, but she just tells me I need to eat at more regular times and all (lately, I've been skipping breakfast and waiting until ~2 in the afternoon to eat because it feels like if I get food any sooner, I'll be sick)

Advice on dealing with disordered eating would be very welcomed

[fandomfluffandfuck]

the way you’re so onboard with alba just shows that you’re most likely a white person who doesn’t care about nazism and racism. y’know, cuz those things don’t affect you, right?

btw your “angel” posted her own nudes on ig for everyone, including chris’ underage nieces, to see. glad to know that’s who you’re supporting.

check your privilege please

related to this

Normally, I don't engage in stuff like this for a variety of reasons... anon critique and/or hate tends to be motivated purely to solicit a reaction, yet there's only a small chance the person that sent this will actually ever see (or read, for that matter) my response, I'm not a gossip blog, nor am I the place people come for hard-hitting discussions on issues like racism, antisemitism, homophobia/transphobia, sexism, misogyny, ableism, or any of the other awful human-made categories of hate that plague us. I'm a fantasy blog--hence the fact that I do fictional as well as real person ships. But, I do occasionally post stuff about the real lives of the people that I include in this fantasy blog--that's what the tag "real life real people" is. It's for others to filter if they want. That's why I tag those kinds of posts in such a way. (Alba is also always tagged, filter that way, too, if you like). I occasionally post that kind of stuff because sometimes, it's fun to post about the real lives of these people I have a parasocial relationship to. And its fun to have somewhere for people to express their excitement of/for those people. Personally, I'm much more partial to allowing excitement than negativity. It's my space, I do curate it extensively.

That being said, yes, I'm white. I'm a man, and I'm mostly straight-passing unless I deliberately out myself to others. I have a lot of privileges. I won't and don't deny that.

Nor will I deny that I haven't done really any research on Alba--the tags for her and Chris these days are nearly always full of hate or extensive theories when I check them, so... I avoid them. It's my peragotive to mostly stay out of the tags, though. I know that. I don't know Alba. For that fact, I don't know Chris. All I have to go off of is appearances. I do hope they're happy. They're just people. I also hope she's not still saying the awful, harmful things she has in the past--leaning to your side, and assuming that there are receipts. I hope she's listening and learning.

As far as posting her nudes to her Instagram--she's a grown woman. It's her body, her account, and the internet has always had places that are unsafe for children. She doesn't control who follows her, and she's famous. Many people follow her. I don't assume she wanted children to stumble across those photos. And if they did, that truly sucks. Children being unwantedly exposed to sexual content is not to be taken lightly. I can see how damaging that might be (God knows I've had a shit ton of experiences like that myself, from my younger years with even less protections on social media) even while holding the overarching opinion that bodies are bodies and nudity shouldn't be so sexualized as it is in our puritanical society. Although, yes, of course, nude photos intended to be sexually charged are much different to bodies being bodies.

While I'm very unsure that you will see this, let alone read it, I will conclude this post saying that this is as much as I want to post about this: I understand the underlying frustration you have, and I hear you. I do. I could--I can do much more to be a better ally as a white man to dismantling racist systems and holding racist people accountable. I am always trying, truly. However, for the purpose of this blog, I don't want to engage further.

Thank you.

[troonwolf]

I found your blog going through the anti-endo tag (idk I get bored sometimes) and im sorry all this is going on. I hesitate to call myself a cult survivor because what I dealt with never felt severe enough to call it that and the “cult” word makes me flinch at times, but I do agree that the endo stuff that I’ve seen is atrocious and lines up with what you describe. I’m primarily anti-endo due to the whole “sysmed” concept and the harmful aspects of endos, before I ever found out I was a system.

When I did discover our system and they felt more comfortable explaining system stuff like that, one of our alters had came to the fore explaining their reasons for disliking them, which although we avoided endo spaces like the plague (anyone who calls a trauma survivor names like “sysmed” or god forbid, “traumascum”, is automatically horrifically awful), what we did read from accounts about people who were in endo spaces is horrific.

I don’t have much else to say tbh, just that I hope you have better days and nights ahead of you, whatever that means for you.

Thank you for putting in the effort to share this with me, anon. Especially since I know I do not come across as the most approachable person in the world when I'm stuck on frustration mode and questioning existence because someone annoyed me lol.

Your alter has such good instincts for immediately catching the red flags like that. Funnily enough back when we first got involved in all this (literally like a decade ago) although the discourse did exist in a lesser form, it hadn't become so vitriolic that people were being called "traumascum" and "sysmed". That part is honestly pretty recent. Back when I was on the endo side, we just called people "antis", which is like the generic moniker people on the internet use in general when they have discourse.

"Anti" is pretty neutral when compared to "sysmed" or "traumascum". What people don't realise is this is a purposeful manipulation tactic, so that people will associate this argument with trans people and transmeds. This in itself is literally a cult tactic and the only reason people don't want to call it what it is, is because it makes them uncomfortable. Not because it's not applicable. They think what they're doing is for good and justified reasons, but it's still toxic.

And it's not one or two or a few endos using this term. It's almost all of them. They will fight tooth and nail for the "permission" (for lack of a better word, sorry lol) to call anti-endos, who are often trans themselves and often have negative experiences with transmeds, the "system equivalent of transmed". They don't care if it's triggering or if it comes across as transphobic or ableist, what matters is it has the impact they want it to have.

The community has actively gotten worse and more extreme tbh.

The rest under the cut because it involves some details on my own trauma and I don't want people to accidentally skim and get triggered. Tw doomsday cult experiences.

When we first got involved with the endo community, we were literally fresh out of a doomsday cult. We were in it because of our mother, and it was the sort of thing that started off small and innocent seeming in early childhood, but became more extreme and dangerous as years passed.

I'm not going to get into too much detail, but eventually we were in a scenario where the cult had relocated to an isolated area in the middle of the mountains. The conditions were very bad. The things that happened there were very bad. It had already been bad but this was like, "oh someone is gonna fucking die" bad. (Someone almost did die eventually, because of the refusal to take them to the hospital. It turned into the sort of thing where it's considered a miracle they're still alive. Their sickness had become almost terminal due to neglect.)

Anyway, when we finally were able to escape, we didn't leave because we stopped believing the world was gonna end. We 100% still believed the world was gonna end. We just decided we would rather go down from the mountain, re-enter civilisation, and die there with the rest of society instead of being stuck on that compound.

We didn't tell anyone this though. Honestly we struggled for years to understand what happened to us and name it what it is. At the time, our mindset was that we were just going to live life in visible normalcy, and not mention to anyone the world was ending. We did this again not because we didn't think it was true, but because we wanted to spare everyone the stress of Knowing like we did.

It was during this period of being escaped from the cult but still not having shed our programming, that we found the soulbonding community. We had already worked out we were a system, but not really the specifics. And our prior history of being in a cult where medicine and psychiatry was rejected, and replaced with spirituality, crazy natural remedies, etc, meant some of us were very hesitant about the idea of DID or any other disorder.

There's a certain alter in here who is the most programmed out of the rest of us, and it was him who immediately became attached to the notion of soulbonding. At first he didn't really care TOO much about it, but constantly having it drilled into him that "soulbonds" (and then "endogenics", when that term was coined) were "real people from other dimensions" and that "DID alters are just symptoms", appealed to the same fantasy-based programming that had already been coded into him. Us being naive, we didn't do anything to stop him at first. It was only when we'd finally begun to detangle our cult programming and trauma, that we were also able to detangle the terrible mindset that he'd been influenced to adopt.

And as I mentioned in my other post, it really did negatively impact him and the system in many ways. After seeing what he/we went through, there's no way anyone can convince me endogenic beliefs aren't inherently damaging and cultish. Any belief that rejects medicine and tries to replace it with some woo-woo shit that has no basis in known science or known reality, is damaging and cultish.

This is what I'm trying to explain to people, but no one is reading what I actually said lol. If you are raised in certain kinds of environments, even environments that aren't as extreme as the one I outlined, you can be prone to fantastical thinking and toxic spiritual programming, which is the same kind seen in endo spaces.

Meaning that, you may have DID, but like my alter here, you are unable to unpack that, and when you come across an ideology that feels more comforting than the truth, it's easy for prior programming to sway you towards that ideology. If you have already been programmed, you can be programmed again very easily if you're not aware of your own programming and how to overcome it.

People think me calling them a cult means I'm calling them all malicious abusers, when the only people acting like that's what a cult is, are the people vaguing and attacking me. I genuinely feel like all I've done is try to raise awareness on something obvious, for the benefit of survivors of spiritual abuse inside and outside the endo community, but because of a petty little word choice like "cult", no one will even read what I said to hear where I'm coming from.

People have also tried to use the existence of cult survivors in the endo community as a way to dismiss me, But That's Literally What I'm Saying! Of course there are cult survivors in the endo community! WE were a cult survivor in the endo community! Endo beliefs appeal very strongly to certain kinds of cult programming, that's literally what I'm trying to say my mans!

And no matter how well-meaning someone is or believes themselves to be, that programming is still unhealthy. They don't understand that, because of their programming, and that programming causes harm to others due to the spread of the ideology. That person is still a victim of programming, and their programming causes them to unwittingly create more victims. That's how cults WORK.

All this nuance can indeed exist at once, and everyone would know that's what I'm saying if they actually read my posts.

[cooketu]

Anyways, welcome to the official Poptale (page? Idk what to call it honestly) below I will be listing standard information so that you’ll know that (y’know, I don’t bite)

Standard Information

Q: How old are you, what can we call you?

A: My age range is 16-18, you can call me MCanthom (or anything along those lines). Don’t worry about pronouns (I don’t really care what you use to refer to me as)

Q: Are you a frequent poster/updater?

A: No, drawing takes some time and I don’t wanna just make this (page?) just words. Plus I’m going to be posting about Poptale and that’s going to be pretty lengthy and taxing.

Q: What should be avoided on this page?

A: Racism, discrimination, and anything along those lines are not welcome here. If I were to commit one of these I would want someone to tell me. So, in order to prevent any (bad negatives) on this blog, don’t do any of the stuff mentioned above (this also applies for jokes).

Q: Are requests allowed?

A: yes, but they’ll switch between being opened and closed.

Q: What can I expect to see?

A: You can expect to see drawings of Poptale, my (probably multiple Fnaf aus cause why not?), and sometimes other things (not too much though).

Ok, so that’s that. Now here’s the rules:

1.) DONT repost my art (if it’s to share with others then fine, but give credit or smth at least)

2.) DONT request for art (nothing against y’all, but I have my own stuff I need to do)

3.) DONT be racist, homophobic (or the likes), harass, etc.. to other people on this page

4.) (Not really a rule but) please don’t request anything 18+ related

(what do I mean by that?):

(1) Gore, blood, angst, violence, and anything along those lines are fine

(2) I will not be drawing s3x scenes, nudity (for sexual intention purpose), fetish art, or hate art because it’s uncomfortable to draw

And I’ll just put this here as a disclaimer:

Some ships will be included (because I like to have the best of both worlds) so if you feel uncomfortable with the ships that I will list, don’t worry because they won’t appear often (and I’ll probably make most of them platonic), also you can just skip over them.

Ships (I’ll be abbreviating them, you’ll find out what they are later):

Safedreams

Penumbraspirit

Wiretangled

Florida (yes, I’m being serious, that’s the name I chose)

Closeteers

Pinkyplush

Temperedglitch

Tangledcloset

Trashlane

Roll n’ Rock

Passingblight

And no, I will not be shipping minors (only if it’s a platonic pairing) because it kinda creeps me out

[pe4nutastic]

More old RP babbling. Under the cut to keep people's dashes clean + to make this easily skippable.

Blotted out a few details, on the off-chance that my very small blog has someone reading these ramblings, I don't want to throw anyone into the spotlight like that --this is just here for the purposes of my ramblings + reflection on how I've portrayed Giegue in the past.

Anyhow... I really like this A LOT for many reasons, the main one being that he's dead-on about Giegue's actual nature at this point in time.

To be fair to Giegue, and to add a little clarification in general, the character is actually missing some context here in that the reason why Giegue treats the two scenarios differently is because the circumstances were different. Mainly because before, Giegue's life wasn't in immediate danger so he tried to play it safe and avoid doing anything major and just play along with Giygas' whims at the time. But by the end of the whole thing? that changed because Giygas then revealed what his true intentions were this whole time and threatened to kill Giegue after Giegue confirms his intent to oppose him; no point in lying because he figures that Giygas would know anyways, being the same person, separated only by different continuities, and all.

ofc Giegue doesn't want to die because he has his own goals to fulfill so he fights back. Initially it's out of necessity so that he can get tf out and back to the proper point in time, but as the fight goes on and his self-hatred bleeds through, it becomes self-serving and personal.

So while there is context that the character is missing when he says all this, it fundamentally doesn't really matter because he's, again, absolutely dead-on about Giegue anyways.

At this point in time, Giegue is incredibly self-serving. He does things based on his personal feelings rather than the general good. On what will benefit his own goals and ideals, even if it hurts others. He has this twisted perception of what Maria would have wanted that's ultimately marred by his Psion nature and the way that his experiences (i.e denying his own wants, needs, wishes, and instead just existing as a 'tool' for the Psions with no wants, needs, or wishes of his own) have altogether caused him to overcorrect by being extremely self-centered and selfish.

A twisted perception and the personal feelings that fuel it, which he places above everything else --so in a sense, in order to do 'good' by Maria or be 'good', he feels that he must do whatever is the most 'rational' and 'efficient' (like a Psion would) because it's the best way to honour that. He rationalizes any negative consequences on others as a 'necessary sacrifice' or 'necessary collateral damage' or just fails to really think about it altogether because he's so blinded by his own goals, that even though he's not trying to be evil or anything, he ends up causing a lot of damage anyways by how selfish and myopic he opts to go about all of this.

Case in point here. He hurts Lucas (different RP + continuity), not because he had some super evil plot under his sleeve, but because he didn't think about his feelings. He didn't see Lucas and couldn't fully appreciate the kindness he was shown at the time... --he only saw his goals and how to best reach them. He could only see how he could leverage trust and kindness to continue fulfilling what he thinks Maria would have wanted/in an effort to be 'good'. The problem is, it isn't just about wanting to be good or having a good goal --it's not just about achieving a 'good' end result. What happens in-between matters too and speaks a lot more to being good than the end result because the end result is just a moment, the in-between stuff is a lot more and so it really isn't just about the end result, everything else be damned.

Which, in turn, makes it all the more fitting that he's contrasted against characters that are both heroic, with conflicts that stem from his decidedly un-heroic traits and his twisted perception of good (focusing on end results, like a proper results-oriented Psion would be, to an extreme) against the more complete understanding that the heroic characters have of what it means to be good.

In this light, a conflict was kind of inevitable and yet ironically, Giegue is the most drawn to heroic and good characters at the same time anyways, as opposed to un-heroic ones. It's usually because they feel 'safer' to be around + interact with (i.e it's easier to count on them to not backstab him), but it also has a lot to with the exact fact that they have the heroism that he lacks yet idealizes as something to strive towards. In the end, he has a lot of respect for true heroes and genuinely admires the good qualities that that entails.

[virentdivision]

self review

these are all tags from one post here a couple months ago

#but i think what i've been trying to do is STOP fixing my art and just learn to make more drawings and move on

I have leant into this belief ✅ and it's good, though nuanced... as I don't want to start a lot of drawings, I like to take my time even on flawed artwork, ideally. I'm more leisurely. I try to avoid negative feelings, and if I truly feel a lack of interest, I will just erase it and start over. I try to build healthy attachments and relationships with my artworks.

#because everything i ever draw i dont post. i spend days on fixing it. ... I still do this but I have less of an issue about it due to me placing incentives that allow legroom while still putting a bit of pressure. Such as, "I have to queue up something for captaindark once every week..." It's subjective and easygoing enough, but is a tangible structure for me to take solace in. I'm not all or nothing incentives anymore. ... and i lose interest because i got new ideas during it... cycle repea#thats why i have 1000 wips / unposted art This is only an issue SOMETIMES! Since most days I am actually weaponizing this positively for my OC projects. The only time in recent times this happened negatively was when I was drawing in front of people and distracted myself. I can't tell if that's net negative or net positive, but I did still do stuff that I considered productive during it, and ultimately, all art has meaning. I just wouldn't want to go overboard and abandon the projects that have MORE meaning to me (and others) personally. #and i hope that i develop the artstyles i want#which is what i've been thinking about a lot lately ❌ No and Yes ?? ✅ ❌: I'm starting to not care about drawing to obtain style. When I start drawing things that make me think this way, I try to avoid this way of thinking and push past it into whatever style comes naturally in that moment. It actually takes a lot of mental effort to disengage with such perfectionist habitual thought, but I'm in a creative high so it's easier than before. As in, it's still hard, but I have more creative energy to spend instead of having to give up too soon. ✅: I've realized I have a style. I just might not like it, and honestly, the reasons for why I don't like it are kind of nebulous and stupid and based in perfectionist thought, so I'm active on uprooting that. Hopefully I see fruition of my efforts soon! I would love to see some abundant visible change on it, have wanted to for months or maybe years regarding my captaindark blog artworks specifically. #there will be no progress if i dont post. ❌ No, and I've learned this thanks to my OC projects giving me a tangible sense of progress even if I'm actively avoiding showing what I'm doing. And that mindset has crossed over to everything else I do. When I start working on those other things, I maintain my creative high outlook and realize "oh, so it's this way, here too" right? I kind of don't know yet since I haven't started a bunch of work in other stuff (which is a good thing right now) but that's what makes sense, and I'll probably purposely make the realization happen.

#i just don't want posting to feel forced...)

I have leant into this belief ✅ and it's good, though nuanced... Same with my art, I'm trying to "build healthy attachments and relationships" with my blogs. I don't like twt, so I'll just post there in a way that makes me forget about it. Even if there's value to posting there, I just don't feel like it, so I compromise and do what I want. That way, when I get nice reactions, it's a pleasant surprise that I don't have to dwell on about.

even if i don't have anyone looking#(that's mostly a faultdue to me being shy and not posting to where people will see it... I actually still think about my lack of audience sometimes, but it's such a mixed train of thought. Because... I like being reserved and "safe" ... but I want to build something for myself, too. Then I imagine, what if I release a game and pretty much no one bothers to play it? But I don't really believe that thought, since an artwork as well rounded and tangible as a game existing in my gallery is a building block to something that will attract attention eventually. Even if it's only the few people you care about and directly told them to play. Even if people don't understand the message or didn't like it that much. I think I would still overall feel pretty good about it, since I'm practical about gaining experience. We'll see.