#I really honestly truly am so used and OKAY with having all my class because they are little Angel babies for me

[heaven4lostgirls]

Hi, hello, hope you're doing great :)

I just wanted to ask if its okay to request a fluffy Barty Crouch Jr x reader? Something in their hogwarts years, maybe something with the two practising for quidditch together even though they're in different houses (or something of the sort)

If you don't end up doing this that's completely fine, he just needs more fics if u ask me

nobody knows me like you

barty crouch jr x hufflepuff!reader

warnings: fluff!! fluff!!! so much fluff, barty is so soft

a/n: i loved this ask!! sorry it took so long to get out x

The wind was loud and harsh the higher that you flew, your quidditch robes did little to nothing for warmth however it seemed that it didn’t even seem to faze Barty as he laughed manically at your shivering almost pale form. It’s not that you didn’t enjoy quidditch it was more the harsh winter conditions that didn’t agree with your body however your boyfriend seemed to have no problem with it.

“I told you we should have just snuck into the kitchens, its literally right next to Hufflepuff’s common room” you complained through chattering teeth however all Barty did was grin at you slyly. “Then how would I beat your ass at quidditch?” he winked, and you had the urge to push him off of his broom, but you knew that idiot would probably find it funny. He truly was your greatest annoyance however for some reason you two worked together, how that happened you and everyone in Hogwarts were left confused.

It truly started after a potions class were you two were paired up, Barty and his usual dumbass ideas lead to something going wrong and both of you in the hospital wing for the next week. At first you were rightly annoyed at him for messing up your mark however after a heartfelt apology and midnight whispered chats in each other’s beds you soon found out that Barty was actually an alright person, he was funny, a little psychotic but very sweet when he wanted to be. Honestly the both of you just clicked the moment you both started getting to know one another.

“C’mon we only have a couple of minutes before we have to get ready for dinner” he whined as you slowly flew around the pitch, you rolled your eyes but conceded. You played for Hufflepuff as one of the best seekers Hogwarts had seen while Barty was truly a ruthless beater, he had only gotten into quidditch because of Regulus who was Slytherin’s seeker. You both flew around and spent some time throwing some bludgers to Barty to help him practice his swing. He looked really good sweaty and panting but you knew bringing that up would only inflate his ego, which truly was already big enough as is.

“Let’s head back, my arm is starting to hurt from catching your bloody wild bludgers Crouch” you say while rotating your arm. “Those wild bloody bludgers are going to take your teammates out next match love” he smirks as he flies closer to you before snatching your am closer to take a look if you’ve been bruised or hurt in any way. “Not with your shit aim” his smile drops before he yanks you onto his broom. You squeal before you meet his pout with a cold glare. “Bastard, I could’ve fallen” you grumble, and you see his lips twitch before his pout becomes bigger.

“Tell me I have good aim or I’m not letting you shower before dinner” his puppy dog eyes have come into play at this point. You smirk amused “if you do that you realise neither of us are going to shower right?”. He nods seriously and you have to hold yourself back from letting out a sign. You are an idiot is practically what your smile says. I know his grin answers back. “Your aim is not that shit” you say begrudgingly. His smile is almost blinding, not many people see this side to your boyfriend, the most they get really is a few laughs and smiles around Cas, Ev, Reg and Pan but otherwise he’s mostly known as a stone cold Slytherin whose father is the Minister of Magic.

“I’m going to ignore that you didn’t say what I asked you to say in favour of kissing you” he declares before pressing his lips against yours. You’re not shocked because this is generally typically how most of your physical affection happens, it used to bother you before when he didn’t ask but after a quick talk with him you often found yourself finding it surprisingly sweet. You smile into the kiss and wrap your arms around his neck before you remember you’re literally a couple hundred feet above ground and you pull away.

“Get me down right now before I hex you” he smirks “...Bartemius” it drops. You cackle playfully as he carries you both to the pitch with an annoyed huff. Once you reach the ground you try to run off to the Hufflepuff common room in order to hopefully shower before heading to the great hall, but Barty has other plans as he wraps his arms around your waist. “Shower together?” he muses as if he’s in thought. You’re about to tell him no because you both know you won’t get anything done and before you can he nods and picks you up. “I think so”.

[justanothershippingcan]

My thoughts on the Ritsu&Shou related parts in the Fanbook

because I am kinda going insane.

The way ONE was able to melt all the gays down in one go should be studied, analysed and locked deep in the black void of Shou’s black shirt in the Cultural Festival scene in the manga, because there’s no way. 

As a warning, while I’ll be mostly talking about their relationship in terms of friendship anyway, I ship them, so this is kinda biased on this side of things. Enjoy what I have to say under the cut.

Okay, so, with the premise that the translations around on Twitter aren’t official so the info might not be 100% accurate, I am still more than willing to trust our beloved fantranslators and their hard work. Let’s actually begin this slide deep into the tunnel headed to Copium Land, shall we?

• To the question "Who are your friends, excluding your brother?" Ritsu just answers with Student Council Members and Classmates. And that we (readers) don't have to worry, since he has many people he can ask about the weather to. Now.

We... never see him hang out with his classmates, nor his Council members. Ever. Except for the whole S1 "Middle school criminals purge" fiasco and even then, it ended up with him breaking through the Student Council President Kamuro’s house. When I say Ritsu isn't normal, I mean it (go off, King). 

Ritsu is the same person who asked the other Psychic kids from the Awakening Lab their names only after they were all kidnapped. And solely for the sake of escaping. He... doesn't know how to socialize well or doesn't particularly care. 

To him, friends are ones he can ask the weather to. I honestly feel like, no matter how popular he is (mostly, due to his looks... let’s remember how he is the one among the kids in the cast who gets the most chocolate on Valentine’s Day, but he finds it a nuisance) he doesn’t really know how-to-friend and how-to-people. And partially, he isn’t too focused on that due to the many things he has going on. 

I truly appreciate the idea of autistic Ritsu, because it would explain many things tbh, and this difficulty of approaching others/making friends/even having a basic understanding of friendships and what they mean would be clearer. 

Now, onto Shou. We have two questions to take into account:

• To the "What do you like doing with your friends?" he answers mentioning only Ritsu. Not even the kids that call him leader in S2,nor any classmate. Just Ritsu. And he mentions how Ritsu doesn’t like crowded spaces and noise (I'll return to that later) and how they went fishing together and Ritsu didn't manage to catch anything. From this we have: 

THEY WENT FISHING TOGETHER. Even with the whole text thing later, Ritsu still cared enough to go out with him. Without Mob being involved at all. I think it's important. They canonically hang out together.

Shou cares so much that he wanted to go to a place where Ritsu would feel comfy. Fishing is probably not an activity Shou prefers among others. But Ritsu might appreciate it and that's enough. 

Ritsu is bad at fishing and this is honestly a fun detail lol. 

• Through the same question, we have the whole text bit with Shou saying he texts Ritsu from time to time, but Ritsu answers slowly/not frequently. So-

For one, Ritsu does answer. He is a busy person with Student Council matters and he is, yk. At the top 10 of the best students in the school, in his first year competing with third years. And yet, he still answers these messages. 

Shou goes to school THIS IS A WIN BTW I KNEW IT, Shou literally emits the energy of that one kid who is actually totally listening during class, remembers everything and gets damn good marks, called it. Anyway, Shou probably isn't a slow texter like Ritsu is and has another perception of time lol, not to mention how he probably isn’t as busy. Can relate to Ritsu here. 

They still text. That's pretty good in my book (copium). 

Again, noise. They should have 2012-13 flip phones and now, I have used them in the past, but forgive me, I forgot what I did yesterday, imagine remembering 2012 phones, but I believe they did have an option to turn off notifications. And with Ritsu disliking noise... it's no wonder he would. It also helps with studying. 

•  There was a question about the Cultural Festival bit. Shou says that Ritsu didn’t ask him to come personally, he just caught wind of it and thought “why not?”, which makes more sense now that we are 100% sure he goes to school. Honestly, it’s no wonder Ritsu didn't ask Shou to go and see him. He was uncomfy with that outfit and the whole Maid idea. But as soon as Shou caught on that, he just. Went. Without honestly any other reason if not to see him. Still fruity enough in my book. 

• Last but not least. Ritsu does call Shou a friend in the World Domination Arc. And, truly, I am not willing to believe they aren’t on friendly terms after them texting together, hanging out together (fishing) and Ritsu just... accepting Shou burnt down his house and going along with his plan without a second thought lol. Hence why:

Either Ritsu truly just doesn't know where to place Shou in his mind. Thinking back also on Shou's VA interview helps with this.

Or, since he was mentioned as a friend in Shou’s profile, ONE believed it would have been redundant to put him in Ritsu’s as well. Which I believe is actually a fair point, since Ritsu wouldn’t have added that much insight, knowing him lol.

Or, regarding them being established as friends in World Domination Arc... ONE forgor. And truly, it has been years since he finished that arc, and he has written so many drafts of manga (ONE PUNCH, the rest of Mob), the new upcoming one and all of the extras since then. Wouldn’t blame him.

There is also this little important DETAIL of ONE just casually mentioning he would like a spin-off with Ritsu AND Shou. Together. Can’t separate, idc.

And... gosh, I think this is all. Thanks to all the ones that translated the bits that came out with this book and Katya’s translations of all the other interviews! Between this, the whole deal with Teru (aka his freaking terrible fashion sense and especially his parents), Reigen’s family, Serizawa’s pay, a few peculiar ages being revealed... this fanbook has been a trip and a half. But just in case, thank you all for coming to my Pep Talk, feel free to add anything if you want.

UPDATE 18/11

NEW INFO IS OUT and I reblogged this post of mine with all of such info compiled and my thoughts on it! It kinda changes a few of my highlights here and for the better. I’d say... we ultimately truly won. 

[rosewaterandivy]

I love your writing style and after stalking your blog I found out that you studied English. Got any writing advice for someone who's still trying to figure out and develop their own style? I feel like I have so many ideas but the execution is 👎

Hello sweet thing! 🥰 Thanks for reading and a quick disclaimer before I dive in here: I don’t really even understand my own process/style yet and that is perfectly fine. I think it’s important to take risks in writing to develop skills and see what vibes with you and what doesn’t. So, while I have two degrees in English, I’ve never taken a creative writing class— just wanna get that out there. Now, onto the advice!

Read. Read often and voraciously. This method is tried and true for a reason, and that’s because it works. When I’m lacking in the inspiration department, I read poetry, novels, non-fiction, works by other writers in the community, maybe do a deep-dive with some lyrical analysis— if you know, you know. Seeking out other voices to inspire and teach is paramount.

(Continued under the cut)

To grow as a writer (or, really as a person), you can’t exist in your own silo. You need to engage with other stories. On some level, you should be listening to other’s voices and studying their styles. Otherwise, you’ll stunt your development as a writer. You could also, inadvertently, reinforce bad writing habits, if you’re not expanding your horizons by consuming other author’s works.

And this conversation has been making its run in the community as well as my corner of academia, but I’d be remiss not to touch on it here: there is no such thing as originality in literature. Everything from the Carolingian Cycle to Homeric Hymns to tropes, etc. has already been said and done. But what matters here, truly, is how you can put your spin on something. Have soulmate AUs been done to death? Yes. Is that gonna stop me? Hell to the no! I love that shit, of course I want to engage with that trope and see what I can do with it.

Rhythm. Cadence, flow, whatever you call it— this is crucial to me as a writer and academic. And honestly? I’m still figuring this one out for myself. I tend to talk or ramble as I write, mostly to test out dialogue for how it sounds but also as an editing trick. I tell my students all the time, read your work out loud before assuming it’s all said and done! You’d be amazed at how many things you’ll catch by stumbling over words and phrases that the eye would skip over.

I think a lot of this comes from patterns I’ve picked up from reading. Because I read and listen to other author’s voices and styles, I’m more equipped to see mistakes in my own syntax and voice because I’ve diversified my exposure to other styles of sentence structure, etc. So, yes, this does go back to reading and finding other voices— but it truly does help!

Feel it out. First and foremost, I am a chaotic writer— my GDrive is a mess and I can’t even imagine how many WIPs I have that are just a single sentence or phrase at this point. But everyone has to start somewhere, and for most of us, that takes the form of a sentence, phrase, or occasionally, a single word.

I just kind of just go for it in the docs, to be honest. I’ll get frustrated, walk away, delete (keep a doc designated as a graveyard/junkyard for this purpose, trust me!), get distracted, etc. But that’s okay and to be expected with the creative process. Flow can’t happen without a little resistance at first.

Play with syntax. Would a longer sentence be more meaningful here? Shorter? What about repetition? Think about word choice as well— identify the tone and mood you want to project.

Word Choice. Specific words are used for a calculated focus or effect— think about it. Would you want to hear the smacking of lips from a few tables over on a first date? Or hear the sounds of your roommate going to town on an apple while you’re putting the moves on that hottie from said first date?

Readers can feel the significance and weight of a word, how much space it occupies in a sentence: they have real influence. It’s not just morphemes and phonemes and phonetics; words project experience and sensation, so it’s important to tie your words to your intent or the mood you’re attempting to create.

If I’m writing an intimate scene, I’m not going to use abrasive words that will jar the reader from the tone I’m working so hard to craft. I’ll choose soft words, immersive words — a little repetition, as a treat, so we can sink more gently into the scene. Mention light, texture, employ the softness the surrounds the characters and kinesthetic imagery (imagery describing the actions or movements of the body), but above all, keep it soft.

Synonyms are a wonderful thing! Have a word that’s too clunky for that specific phrase? Find a shorter one; too harsh, find a gentler one; so on and so forth.

This is where reading other stories will help (she says, circling back to point 1). Inevitably, it will diversify your personal vocabularly and your ability to string words together in sentences. The tricks I’ve absorbed by just reading? Innumerous, incalculable and lucky for me, they’re instinct by now.

Format. What’s the goal? If the scene is action heavy, keep the sentences short. Urgent. Focus on the senses we should be aware of in a fight scene. Looking for something more intimate? Stretch things out, suspend time and let people ease into the moment gently.

Short sentences can narrow your focus; longer sentences, the ones that ebb and flow and gather multiple senses, those are some of my favorites— so enriching and immersive.

What view is most important in a given scene? Would a character be more focused on the feel of their beloved’s skin against theirs or the how the hurt reflects in their eyes?

Synesthesia. Ah, yes, my favorite. Synesthasia is a technique adopted by writers to present ideas, characters, or places in such a manner that they appeal to more than one sense, like hearing, sight, smell, and touch at a given time. I am guilty of using this whenever I possibly can because I think being able to embody a scene is crucial to effective writing.

Sensory experience is something that helps me find my way in a narrative. It allows me to settle in. Think about the various qualities of differing sensory experiences, and their consequence. Every sense doesn’t need to be included, just because you can does not mean you should.

Plus, it’s quite convenient for implying intimacy. A character who notices that another character smells of bergamot, cinnamon, or home accomplishes a lot of things in a few words. It immerses the reader in the scene in a very real way; it’s a quick, easy avenue into establishing a history and a relationship between the two characters; and it implies something deeper than a passing acquaintance/platonic interest.

But, I’m also an olfactory snob, so what do I know!

Oof, yeesh, sorry for the ramble here! I think the truth of it is this: I don’t make a lot of these choices consciously. I get stuck somewhere and feel my way around until I can make sense of it again, laying puzzle pieces or clues that I hope others will be able to find when they read it.

I guess my main advice is to read. Read often and well, experience other voices and styles, go outside your comfort zone! If you lock yourself away in that silo or echo chamber, you’ll only reinforce one style or approach— you’ll miss out on so much beauty and creative experiences that the world has to offer!

To close, I’m going to list and tag a few works and authors I’ve found to be instrumental in my reading and writing experience.

Best of luck anon!

QuinAnderson’s The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic

@loveshotzz , @carolmunson, @jo-harrington, @wroteclassicaly , @stevenose , @bettyfrommars (and I’m sure I’m forgetting some at this moment!! I’m sorry 😩) have their own special way of weaving a story, breathing emotion and life into it.

My fic rec tag

Poetry:

Crush by Richard Siken

Postcolonial Love Poem by Natalie Diaz

Night Sky With Exit Wounds & Time Is A Mother by Ocean Vuong

The works of Louise Gluck, Elizabeth Bishop, Gloria Anzaldua, Slyvia Plath, Rilke, Ilya Kaminsky, and Jeanette Winslterson

Movies:

In the Mood for Love

Y tu mamá también

Moonlight

Atonement

[polyamorouspunk]

So I (24, nonbinary) have been casually seeing this guy (38) that I've know for quite some time; I lost my virginity to him and it was fun and easy and honestly things had been great.

And then I was a little bit too high and confessed that I love him and he was super sweet in the moment and just held me and told me he's not comfortable saying the same because he's not sure

That was a couple weeks ago, the last time I spent the weekend. A few days ago I asked if he wanted to hang out again soon, but he didn't respond until today. He had a lot going on and also had to put his thoughts in coherent order, which I can respect. But reading his texts this morning has fucked up my whole day.

He's been really gentle in trying to let me down easy, I know he's still fucked up over his last relationship, and he's got two kids (both under 16) to think about; not to mention that I know he's worried about the age gap (he mentioned that I have so many possibilities ahead of me and I wanted to throw my phone).

I've got issues so I'm taking it really hard. Like this is definitely something I expected and yet I'm still super hurt. I don't really have anyone I'm comfortable talking about this with, and I'm sorry for dumping it all on you but I saw your little sleepover post and I could honestly use a hug and some positive vibes right now.

Okay okay okay so I know you know this is a LOT to unpack.

Mkay so I am 24 also (hi) some form of not cis (hi) and do have a crush on someone a fair bit older than me (33, not 38 though).

I love the idea of being with older men. The last guy I was seeing was 2 years older than me so like 26 now. Loved it. Love when older guys are interested in me. He was also going through a divorce and his son had just been born. It was a lot. I liveblogged the whole thing on here.

Dating older men comes with issues like that. And I have bpd so as soon as I FP someone yeah I’m instantly in love with them.

Dating older men can be hard when they say things about your future and shit like that- and I GET it, like it IS good advice even if you don’t want to hear it. I mean, when WE were under 16 how many people gave US good advice we didn’t want to hear at the time.

It sucks when you fuck up a good thing you had by confessing that you’re in love with someone who is not mutually in love with you. It reeeeally fucking sucks. Because either you hold that inside of you and you push it down and push it down and push it down, or you finally release it, let it go, and it fucks everything up.

There is no reason for you not to be hurt/upset about it even if you did expect it. Grieve. Let yourself grieve. Come into my inbox and dump all of this on me. Let people around you help you heal. Let me send you some love. I am holding your hand. I am telling you to some degree I have been there. To some degree I am there. And I know it gets better. Some day you’ll be like me, and you’ll be driving to work, and you’ll put on a new Fall Out Boy album that just came out, and you’ll cry, and you’ll realize through all the bad things, through all the shit and the hurt, this is why you stayed alive. You lived to be 23 so that you can hear Fall Out Boy put out new music.

And then you’ll be 24 and you’ll meet someone and they’ll change your world. And you think about how amazing it is that someone like this touched your life in some way, and that you can touch yours back. And you’ll meet up with old friends and make new ones.

And we’re so young, we’re SO young. It’s fucking wild to imagine this year (or next year) we’ll be half way to 50. That’s batshit insane. But like oh my god. The healing process that I’m going through is beautiful. Sure, there is a lot of stress. I’m failing the last class I need to graduate. My job stress is through the roof. I’m chronically ill. But outside of that I truly am continuing to live my best life every day.

I don’t know if you plan to try and keep on seeing him casually or if this really is the end for you. Either way this is just a bump in the road. 38 is so young too. We’re going to be okay. It’s a bad day. It’s gonna be a bad week. It might even be a bad month. Hell it might even be a bad year. But goddamn it if they don’t mean it when they say it’s not a bad life. It’s supposed to be almost 70 later today. I’m going to go work outside in the sun. My heartbreaks can’t stop me from creating art that I love. I saw a butterfly yesterday. Life is beautiful. Love is beautiful. Emotions are messy. They are disgusting. I hate them. But they’re poetic too.

Hell maybe this is all some Kumbaya bullshit I’m spouting. Idk. But I believe it. I really do. It takes work to believe in this shit. But it feels so much better when you do. Probably why cults work so well. Anyway!

It’s amazing that you got a chance to be with someone who is 38! I hope you look back on it fondly in a few years. And if you don’t then you’ll look back on yourself with kind eyes and think that at least in that moment you were happy and felt like it was what was best for you.

[seonpremacy]

The Childe (Movie Review)

hi omg. so i just recently watched the latest korean film from dir. park hoon jung, the creator of the witch film series, which is called "the childe". i am not a movie expert or anything so take my advice with a grain of salt. let's talk about the cons first. the pacing of the first 30 minutes of the movie, wherein the characters are slowly being introduced. it was a bit slow and unorganized. there were some scenes in the beginning that can be considered as filler scenes, which adds to the slowness of the pacing of the film, and the character of go ara was not really fleshed out well, which is a missed opportunity. now the pros. okay, the plot is simple with a few plot twists and there, pretty much john wick vibes except it's asian LMAO because of the main conflict of the show. i was a bit confused in one of the revelations of the show but caught up quickly anyway. next is the comedy. actually, this was one of my fears to this film. comedy being used in action films are usually forced, and a bit cringeworthy, but SURPRISINGLY, seonho did it naturally. the comedic timing was so smooth and i genuinely laughed. it's like the icebreaker for the seriousness of the film. no forced jokes. there could be some lines that are cheesy for other people, but it's still tolerable. and i think the what excelled the most in the film is the line delivery of each character, and how they contributed to the overall ambiance of the film. Each of the major characters had contributed enough in their delivery of their dialogues. However, i would like to emphasize two actors: kang tae ju and kim seonho.

kang tae-ju really did an amazing job for his character. the desperation and the fear of the character were obviously portrayed accurately by him, and he had such a good chemistry with seonho. his english accent is topnotch ofc. he has the potential to become the next thing. and now of course, kim seonho. the kim seonho. oh my god. never have i ever thought, that he would also be fitting in the action genre. throughout the film, i tried to observe if there are resemblance of any past characters that he did e.g. han ji pyeong from start-up and hong du sik from hometown cha-cha-cha, and guess what? there was no resemblance AT ALL. i mean why am i surprised he studied theater acting for 10 fucking years before debuting in a small screen. of course, micro-expressions were obviously visible throughout the film i mean come on IT'S GIVEN already. next is his American English accent. oh. my. god. i truly lost it when he delivered his english lines in the movie. he literally has the potential to become really proficient in english. god he was so hot. the thought that he probably only took english classes for a short period of time... oh my god. again, the way he delivered his comedic lines throughout the film was just *chef's kiss, no more further explanation on that. of course, that popular filipino line that he said on the film, i mean, as a filo, it wasn't that bad actually, particularly the first filipino line, the filipino accent was present. and lastly, the fact that he filmed this, only weeks or months after that unfortunate controversy, blows my mind. dealing with that kind of stuff is so mentally draining and could obviously affect one's mental health but no, he insisted. he needed to continue what he's good at, which is acting. his passion to his craft is honestly one of the reasons why i just fall in love with this korean actor everyday. he had to act like the RENT WAS DUE.

now, is the childe a MINDBLOWING korean film? obviously not. but this just paved the way for seonho's comeback, and the exposure for his versatile acting. he should, at least be nominated honestly. the childe rating: 8.0 of 10.

[queer-queries]

Soo, I’m not really sure how to ask this question. But I’m a *girl*, but I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy. And honestly sometimes being called a girl feels wrong, like I guess I identify with tomboy more than I do girl? But not always, sometimes I like being called a girl. Idk its weird and I’m just not acknowledging that atm

But because of my short hair and the way I dress, people often confuse me for a boy and call me he or young man. And it doesnt bother me? Actually sometimes I prefer it being called she. But I dont like when people use neutral words for me like they or person, it makes me feel bad and Im not sure why. So I guess my question is can I be a girl and use both he and she? Or at least is it okay if I don’t mind that people sometimes think I’m a boy?

Thank you in advance - 🍕

hey lovely anon! you know what, gender is very personal. sure, there are broad labels and understandings we put on it, but at the end of the day, we can't possibly put the entirety of human gender diversity into a broad general label.

for example, i get dysphoria with my chest and with being thought of as a woman, but i am 100% comfortable with the fact that i'm a girl, just in a genderqueer way. i want to be seen as a boy-girl, but i am extremely uncomfortable with the terms masc, transmasc, and boy/guy/man for myself. i want to be as butch as i can but i hate he/him pronouns for myself just as much as i hate the term 'woman' for myself, but i am not non-binary. all of this might confuse others, but it's just who i am.

i'm saying this to show that gender has fuck-all to do with how we TRY to understand it in a broader context, and much more to do with just how we personally define it for ourselves. i personally have seen hundreds of women on this site who use he/him pronouns- some exclusively, some along with other pronouns! i'm not sure if you are a lesbian or identify with that term personally, but if you are or if you're sapphic in some way, not necessarily just lesbian sapphics, then there is a HUGE history of challenging gender norms. in fact, Leslie Feinberg, one of the most influential thinkers of early American lesbian, trans, and queer activism, used he/him pronouns, she/her pronouns, and the pronouns ze/hir as well as part of hir stone butch identity!

pronouns are really personal and they can be arbitrary but my point is- yes yes yes, you can ABSOLUTELY be a girl/tomboy who uses both he/him and she/her pronouns. you can use them as alternates, use one set at a certain time and another at different times, be fluid between them, you can truly do what you want when it comes to your queer identity. i recommend this reading to everyone, but especially queer girls/queer people who identify at least somewhat with lesbianism/sapphicism/queer womanhood, to read Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg. It's truly a seminal work, and along with exploring butch identity, it is also an exploration of lesbian and trans class struggle!

if you struggle with reading, language, or anything like that, then you can let me know and i'd be happy to give you a summary of Stone Butch Blues as well as some of my favorite quotes/themes!

[fanfiction-artist-prototype]

20 questions for writers, tagged by @aobawilliams

how many works do you have on ao3? 76!! If i hadn't purged a few a couple years ago (and they truly were ones that needed to be gone forever and i feel no guilt bc they all had like 3 views and i think they were all mine tbh.) it'd probably be nearly 200 by now.

what's your total ao3 word count? 1,126,631... hm. Maybe i have a problem? nah. I'm sure it's fine.

What fandoms do you write for? My Hero Acadamia; Trash of the Count's Family; Person 5; Batman; Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild; Danny Phantom; Justice League; Miraculous Ladybug; Fire Emblem: Three Houses; SK8 the Infinity; Megamind; Kiss the Abyss; White Collar; Dio Field; Scum Villain Self-saving System

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1) The old bait and switch 2) Uncle John 3) #NewestWayne is trending 4) Blood Stains the skin red 5) Rooks and Bishops don't get to choose their moves

Do you respond to comments? why/why not? I do occasionally. I guess it depends on what kind of comment it is? If it's a 'More!' or 'Update?' comment i just ignore it. I also tend to leave like emoji comments on their own bc honestly like thank you for giving me an emoji but i am a bit lost as to what I'm exactly meant to respond with you know? Longer comments or compound sentence comments are the ones i tend to respond to purely because there tends to be something to respond to!

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh god... uh. I had to have a quick glance and... i don't really know? There's a few options okay! You have 'Fine, I'll do it Myself' as a strong contender because of the whole 'the person you most love is trapped an entire universe away and you have to wait years to see him again' vibe going on. There's 'Blood Stains the Skin red' because it's literally about what if shit was even more fucked than canon and Midoriya had blood in his hands. Oh! Or "We Don't Remember a Boat in a Bottle" which damn... forget how angsty that one was ngl. I mean there's also 'Group hug' where the champions reunite post BOTW only for Link to die in their arms... (These are the especially angsty ones like the question asked bc honestly... most of my fics are angsty.. hehe.)

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Between 'well then...' and 'This is Love' both Trash of the count's family fics. Well Then is a strong contender because it's just a silly little 'identity reveal is so misconstrued everyone thinks there's *so* much angst and the protag is just vibing. like cale literally starts having a canon-typical spiral bc he thinks people are trying to intimidate him and it's kike a 17 year old being like 'im telling my adopted dad/adopted big brother about all the fun me and my younger siblings have had!' And 'This is Love' is still in progress but each chapter end is a comedy so ya know.

Do you get hate on fics? I used to. I don't really clean my fics up all that well since i tend to miss things so i just stopped and the only times i ever tried to get a beta i got blew off so.. Anyway. I used to get shit and told my work was so horrendous that I was lying about english being my first language. Even looking back at it now it's horseshit that it was 'that bad' bc it really wasn't. I also got this one guy who got really pressed because he didn't have the reading comp to see the tags 'canon divergence' and 'crack treated seriously' and then understand why the characters in the fic weren't acting canon compliant.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind? I do, kind of? Like I've written something that *I* would class as smut but it's not like *full on* explicit descriptions of stuff so it is smut but not in the way people would probably normally think? It's my fic 'pretty boy' and im not even going to lie it was my excuse to write a praise kink fic for Cloeph/Cale.

Do you write crossovers? what's the craziest one? OH DO I. I don't publish nearly as many crossovers as I used to. When I had a wattpad that bitch was almost nothing BUT crossovers. I've written: Ass Class/OHSHC, Ass Class/BNHA, DC/MLB. Those are my tame ones. I have 2 in the works and i think they fit the 'craziest crossovers you've written.' They are: Scum Villain/Trash of the Counts family (aka woke up as a scum villain show down) and Persona 5/BNHA (aka i make Akechi's life so much worse)

have you ever had a fic stolen? Yeah, I had one of my Miraculous Ladybug fics stolen, but i contacted AO3 and it got taken down.

have you ever had a fic translated? No, not with my permission at least. I've had a few people as permission that I've given but they haven't been uploaded so. I have a rule that if it's translated i'd like it to stay on ao3 and unfortunately not a lot of the people interested in translating my fics want to translate them on the archive so i've said no a bunch of times.

have you ever co-written a fic? Yep. A friend-insert fic from when i was 12 with my friend cookie on wattpad. Alas, it is lost to time.

what's your all-time fave ship? There is not a singular answer to this so imma pass-

what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? All of them. But probably my Persona 5/BNHA crossover. Like I really want to write it but every time i open the document i just sit there like 'eugh.'

what are your writing strengths? According to my creative writing class leader, it's my descriptions and suspense build ups.

writing weaknesses? Again, according to my class leader, it's my inability to resist telling rather than showing. Also I sometimes make my sentences too long, when i could cut them shorter.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? It depends? For example if it's something that *absolutely* must be there - for example if I was to write a Percy Jackson fanfic and some exchange in the book was in broken greek/english then YES, but if its not something like that then no i just slap the text in italics and make sure it's obvious somewhere in text a non-english language is being spoken.

first fandom you wrote for? Batman. Self insert fan fic.

fave fic you've ever written?

Ooh..mm.

So. Proper hard question here because like how am i supposed to choose ya know?

It comes down to though, when im pushed to answer, probably 'the old bait and switch'.

I wrote that bitch in the car to high school and between revising for exams so it holds a special place in my heart.

---

Tagging...........

@gremlin-bot , @grubus (hope its okay to tag you), @salaapaoo and @vveirdnobdy

[scoonsalicious]

I'm up late because of school stuff and I visited your page to see that you updated early with three parts! and I thought, you know what, I'll have this as my bedtime story (poor judgment because we all know I get so amped up reading this and for sure won't get sleep until I send you my essay) so here I was reading the first three parts of Chapter 26, had my thoughts, went on your page to send an ask and then saw part 5 and I was like....wait what. YOU POSTED TWO MORE? so you ma'am are a blessing (for feeding us all this goodness) and a curse (to my poor sleeping schedule). Thankfully my class isn't until the afternoon. BUT ANYWAYS. what did I say. I FUCKING KNEW IT !!! I KNEW SHE WAS HYDRA. I KNEW SHE HAD ONE OBJECTIVE TO BRING BACK THE WINTER SOLDIER AND SHE WILL STOP AT NOTHING TO GET IT! but okay, let me rewind first.

Can I just say that burgers and fries are the absolute loves of my life and the chocolate milkshake is our son? Please, when he brought that in I was a puddle. I'm a simple girl. Just feed me them crispy potatoes and I'm yours. But seriously, though, he was being so sweet. I mean, I'm not going to applaud him or kiss his feet because it's the least he could've done. But, good on him for taking care of Pocket, not because she asked to, but simply because that's just him. Also, that little snippet of Bucky being jealous yes absolutely. But it's nice to see them in such a calm domestic setting and there's not even a lingering pressure or anything. They're just being friends right now and I'm glad because that's the healthiest way for them to start anew.

Now, Pocket jumping his bones. I mean, I can't blame her. I would've done the same thing. If I had a Bucky in real life I honestly would ride him to the sunset. BUT ANYWAY. Again, I'm not applauding him because it's the bare minimum but I am glad to see Bucky placing that boundary. It truly does show his growth and how much he truly cares about her. Because let's be real, if they had continued and ended up having sex, Pocket is going to regret it right after. It's going to end up hurting them both and they're going to be taking steps back. Bucky made points. Sex between the two of them is never going to be meaningless and right now is definitely not a good time for it because Pocket is still so vulnerable emotionally. If they went ahead, Pocket would've been so so angry at herself and so hurt right after. And I think Bucky realized that and he wasn't going to put her in that position again. Plus he was honest with what he wanted too. And he respects Pocket so much to know that she should be sure of what she wants before he even tries anything. Because after everything, this is all Pocket's call. Everything is going to be at her pace going forward. So good on him for recognizing and respecting that.

But please Nat's cryptic texts like girl just SPILL ALREADY WHY THE DRAMA. I mean it's Nat but still. ANYWAY NOW THE TRUTH IS OUT. JUDAS IS WITH HYDRA. and if I recall correctly, I did say that while she might be in Hydra, she still has an agenda of her own because she truly wanted Bucky for herself too. I mean, Pocket said it. Plenty of opportunities in Russia to take him but she didn't. There could be something more to it (i know there is and Chapter 27 is coming next. SCREAM). But yeah, it is kinda sad how Bucky thinks no one truly wants him or cares about him unless there's some agenda because that truly has been his life for so long.

The sweet interaction between them, the admitance of feelings, that soft little kiss AND Bucky still setting that boundary until Pocket is truly sure of her own wants and needs. I love how confused Pocket is when he doesn't cuddle up with her. Like, girly he's trying to be respectful and wait for you to process things and get your head and emotions straight so there's no confusion or misunderstanding between you two and what you want this relationship to be anymore. He's giving you the time really have a think if you're going to forgive him or not and not try to muddle your opinion with some good ass vitamin D. All jokes aside, Bucky truly is giving her the space and the time to come to terms with her decision all on her own and not at all influence it because whatever she decides, he's going to accept it and respect it. Growth, everyone.

Though I doubt she'd be able to process it any time soon because well. Bucky keeping her in bed to protect her because we all know where Jolenne is heading. I can practically hear the Jaws theme in the back of my head when Nat said she disappeared. But god, it's like the before everything is about to blow up and I don't know if I should thank you for this little breather or be scared about this cruelty because I know shit's about to go down tomorrow and I cannot wait!

Have no idea how I'm going to bed I'm so hyped right now. But hey, consequences of my own actions. I don't regret it at all. You're amazing and thank you for always feeding us with this amazing story. Lots of Love!

— Jnon 🤍

Hi Bestie Jnon!

I'm sorry to have kept you up last night, but if you thought Chapter 26 fed you well, please enjoy all EIGHT parts of Chapter 27 today!

Burgers and fries with a chocolate shake are the surefire way to my heart, most definitely, lol. And Bucky is doing these things because he wants to, not because he expects anything from her, or because he's trying to gain "good boy points," or anything like that. He just wants to take care of her. That's all.

He's definitely putting all the balls in Pocket's court, letting her call the shots and make the decisions. He just wants her to be happy, so he's going to take all his cues from her, but at the same time, he's not going to encourage her to do anything with him unless they're both 100% sure that she wants to. He doesn't want her ever having to regret things with him, again. He would LOVE to give her the Vitamin D, practically to overdose levels, lol, but he knows she's not in the best headspace right now, with everything that went on, and he's not keen on her making bad decisions with him.

And Nat is the QUEEN of drama. She loved having information but hated being ignored, lol. That's why she's such a good spy, lol. Jefferson is pretty much running her own agenda now. Yeah, Hydra sent her to bring back Bucky, but she's too far gone; she wants him for herself, which is why she didn't bring him back to Hydra when she had him in Russia. She just wants him.

Please enjoy Chapter 27!!! <3 I love you!

[tacroyy]

first week of school. also want to add that ill try to do content warnings better for these! haven’t done a good job of that at all. mentions of racial and ableist slurs, discussion of stressed kids, food insecurity, institutional neglect and harm, general discussion of trauma

ok, thursday and friday weren’t bad other than me being beyond exhausted. i truly couldn’t have functioned without my adhd meds. the seventh graders are fucking amazing and we had The Best discussion, totally out of the blue, about prejudicial language, specifically the n-word and the r-word (both are problems at our school 🙃). i basically don’t have classroom management over them rn (or at least am not bothering to Exert It) bc their other teachers are Overreacting and being Too Intense bc it’s the start of the year so since they already know me it’s all steam blowing off in my class but honestly that’s fine. they don’t have to be non-feral until next week bc i just want them to Relax right now. the sixth graders just got lockers and are Going Through It emotionally so there’s a lot of “breathe, try again” and “nobody is doing tardies right now” bc some of them literally haven’t developed their fine motor skills enough yet and our locks and lockers are, no lie!!!!!, forty years old and Cranky. so that’s a lot of unregulated stress to channel off. i think i say this twice a week but i Do Not Understand how ANYONE teaches elementary school. makes No sense to me. beginning of sixth grade is often too young for me, really; so many of them haven’t developed that, like, independent rationality yet, and it’s A Lot when there are So Many of them.

the ideal way to end this first week would have been to have like a half day for prep so we could meet w teachers, contact parents/guardians, do sped referrals, seating chart upheavals, etc. there’s a lot of “ah, okay, here’s what This batch needs” even 3 or 4 days in, and it would just be so lovely and useful and productive and overall good for everyone to have that. for example i overheard a convo that made it clear that a family hadn’t signed their kid up for free lunch this year and so the kid didn’t get lunch so i had to run around and tell the right people (teachers don’t have access to that info) and make sure they got fed and all but it took my whole prep, and im obviously delighted to do that, but then i didn’t have any prep time and did my last three classes on the fly. not that this kind of thing doesn’t happen most days. it’s just that more prep time is imo the number one thing we need as a profession. i cant begin to express how much it would help everyone.

plus there are, as always, the kids that i just want to have a four hour productive meeting about every single day, where we hash out an Actual Plan. with a social worker, a reading specialist, a developmental psychologist, a pediatrician, a therapist, a sped expert, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, a case manager, a para AND an ea and a secretary for notes. instead it’s me and the counselor who has a 250 kid caseload for ten minutes in the hall.

ive had a dream for a while, since grad school actually, of studying the affect of referred trauma on kids’ peers and school faculty and staff, especially peers and faculty and staff who also have trauma. the amount of shit that slides off of me now because you Have to grow the most perfectly balanced shield of “i will Act on this and Not ignore it” and “i must Remain Calm” and “I’ve just heard the Worst Thing Ever and have to teach for another four hours”. what does it do to you long term? what about the ones who get inured? and the ones who don’t? how can we actually help people handle this well? i know there’s So much stuff out there about secondary/vicarious trauma, and trauma informed education, and i want to be able to know if it’s at all useful or if it’s too tainted to use, like i now expect from basically all educational academia. to be clear i have already done a lot of work in this area but not for a while, and i wanted to reframe the fundamentals.

so glad we have a three day weekend now.

[invisiblegarters]

Be My Favorite Ep 4

I have to say again, I did not expect to like this show this much, but well, here we are, I guess. My 2023 BL watching has been sporadic at best, and it does feel good to get back into following a show as it airs. Good prep for the glut we're gonna get later in the year, right? :D

All right I think I am going to like Max and Kawi together. Max seems like a straight shooter but not in a mean way. Kawi needs that, I think.

Okay, no, I definitely like these two together.

Man, though. I sometimes think about what I'd do differently if I could go back in time - I think it's something most people have thought about at least once or twice - and there's some, but maybe not as much as I like to think. The dad thing just gets to me, here. More than everything else. Just right in the chest.

I just really don't love hazing stuff. Don't care if it's "all in good fun" or not, it just doesn't sit well with me.

And now we all know that Piseang is going to show up, because we have room sharing shenanigans to get to.

Knot is the worst, guys. Just, genuinely. Aw, I like that at least one of them thought to ask Kawi if he needs or wants help with Pear. I mean, he totally needs help haha the poor boy is just useless at this, but I don't think he needs the seniors specific help. I don't trust them at all, mostly because Knot is involved and as I said, he's the worst.

And a wild Pisaeng appears to save the day! Bet that Kawi does not appreciate this.

Oof, this is awkward. These people are so awful, ugh.

Honestly, neither of them deserve this. This is so painful and it really doesn't need to be heard by a bunch of jerks who think that Kawi's punching above his weight class, so to speak.

Oh, honey. Although I have to say I do admire his guts in confessing. But it stings.

I have to say though that this love triangle cracks me up a little.

Okay I am Pisaeng in the bar sceen. Pisaeng is me. Kawi, no. Kawi, stop. Except I'm not also fueled by jealousy, ha.

Oh. Oh, hey, I kind of love the fight that Pisaeng and Kawi have. Because Kawi isn't wrong, is he? Pisaeng knows how Pear feels about him and he's ignoring it for whatever reason - my guess is to keep peace and to keep his childhood friend staying around/trying to keep from hurting her because he cares for her even if he can't like her back - but in the long run all he's doing is prolonging the inevitable. Then again he does marry her in the future, but yeesh, that's not great either. Because they've pretty much told us that he doesn't grow to love her. He just...apparently keeps keeping on the buddy role, taking care of her. Pear is a sweetheart and she deserves someone who truly loves her. Both of them deserve to be with people they want and who want them back.

I am glad that he did listen and tell Pear the truth, finally. Man, all these rejections in this episode.

Guys, I really like Pear. She is so awesome. Although aaaah, I really don't know if I'm into her being sweet with Kawi directly after she rejected him. I do think that she's just trying to be nice and that she is probably also making a very clear statement to assholes about where her own loyalties lie, but also please don't confuse him, girl, you were doing so well. Then again it's not her fault if he mistakes being nice for feelings. I hope that they can actually settle into a friendship, because I think they'd be good ones.

Wait, is Pisaeng gonna do one of his own confessions next ep? I was kind of waiting for it this one, not gonna lie. Might as well go for the trifecta.

...all right. I admit it. I'm hooked. Definitely in for whatever comes next.

[superblycaffeinated]

We're back and ready to share the new and re-written story! I hope those that were reading the original So Far, So Goode are still with me, and for those of you that are new, welcome 🧡 I can't wait to hear what people think and I hope you enjoy it! Head on over to the So Far, So Goode masterlist here for information on the story, general warnings, and last, but certainly not least - the music. I'll be posting here and on Ao3 (under superbcoffeedrinkersubparwriter) - but you need to be a registered user to read over there. CW: description of guns

Chapter One:

To be honest with you, I used to think I was the furthest a person could possibly be from lonely. 

Which, I suppose, is because I had never really been alone long enough to ponder the true depth of all that surrounds the word, feeling - state. The more I think about it, the more I start to doubt if I’ve even touched the surface of what it means to be alone. 

I’m a triplet, so I haven’t been physically alone even before birth, save for the one minute and forty seven seconds both my brothers were out in the world before I arrived. Also, not only am I a triplet, but one of five Goode kids. Plus, there are my two cousins, and all of the Goodes that aren’t Goodes, but hell, yell the name in a room and they’ll all be turning their heads (a phenomenon I’m told goes well into the past). Long story short, I have a lot of family, making it almost impossible to ever be alone. 

Since there are so many of us, I guess I should clarify which Goode I am for the official record or whatever? Believe it or not, I haven’t actually written a formal CoveOps report before this. Despite receiving a superior education in the field I wish to enter, I’ve never once encountered any training on how to write one of these things. My educators (and family) claim paperwork is the worst part of the job, so maybe they hold off until it’s too late and it just never gets taught? I don’t know. All this is to say, don’t judge me it’s not up to, like, professional standards, okay? 

My name is Joelene Macey Goode, but everyone calls me Joey or Jo. I know most people hate nicknames, but I honestly prefer it over my full one. Not that Joelene is a bad name, but you try living eighteen years with people singing terribly offkey at you while you stand there awkwardly. So, no offense to Dolly, but I can’t hear Jolene without wincing now (but if you read this Ms. Parton, from one Gallagher Girl to another - you rule!). 

And yup, that’s me. A Gallagher Girl. My identity, my cover, my school - all for the last five and half years of my life. 

Since you’re reading this, I’m sure you know exactly who we are and what we do at The Gallagher Academy for Exceptional Young Women, and you may be thinking you know all there is to know about us Gallagher Girls, but I am no ordinary one. 

I’m a legacy, a fourth generation one to be exact. Meaning, a lot of Goodes (in one form or another) have walked those hallowed halls. They slept in the same rooms, they took the same classes, they ate the same creme brulee and then crushed records or did impressive enough things to end up with their pictures in our hallways and their names in our history textbooks (the ones that tell the real history that is). And they did it all before graduating. 

It’d be one thing if it was just their accomplishments to live up to, but it’s the footsteps attached to the person attached to the name, that I’m truly scrambling behind. 

Because, yes, you’ve been reading that last name correctly. 

Goode. 

Maybe you’ve heard of us? The best family in the biz, as Grandpa likes to boast.

I don’t like to phrase it quite that way too often as Grandpa usually gets a look from Grandma and mom that could kill him. And I mean, literally kill him, if Peter and I hadn’t accidentally broken the specific pair of glasses meant for such a thing on our fourteenth birthday. 

Because, as I’m sure you’re very aware of, by the “biz”, Grandpa and I mean that martini shaking and pouring while dodging a bullet, running from the explosion in a suit hand in hand with a girl in heels, passionate kiss or dramatic monologue before jumping out of the moving train kind of stuff. 

Spy craft. 

Espionage. 

The cool shit. 

But don’t worry, I know that stuff doesn’t really happen and it’s all for the cinematic experience. 

Why my Grandpa gets the looks, is because saying that “we’re the best in the biz” goes against everything my parents have told me and my four siblings our entire lives. That the name doesn’t mean we carry and wield this magical power. Being a Goode doesn’t allow us to assume we’re the best without working towards anything. 

My parents weren’t wrong, and I’ve never, ever, once taken my last name to mean I could do what I wanted with zero consequences. In fact, it’s made me believe the exact opposite. It isn’t zero consequences when we mess up, it’s an astronomical amount. Because, when you’re a Goode, you’re not just messing up, all Goodes are too. 

Instead of skating by on the merit of the name, I’ve spent my entire adolescence feeling as if I need to rise and thensome to earn the name that was simply just given to me because of my blood. 

Oh you’re their daughter? So you can do this like that? Why yes, as a matter of fact I am the daughter of agents Morgan and Luke Goode, and while I can do it like that, I’ve been forbidden from doing it in the house, or from using it on my brothers, thanks for asking. 

Also, yeah, you read those names correctly too. The best agents (in my totally unbiased opinion of course) the CIA has ever seen, are my parents. 

So, you see, I’ve got Goode blood, and not just any. I have to do this. I have boots to fill and make my own impressive steps with -  a name I have to live up to. 

I’ll admit though, that the name, the legacy of it all, the movies I love, the training - none of it compares to the real reason I have to be a spy. 

It’s a word, pretty well known around these parts, maybe you’ve heard of it?

Classified. 

Now, I don’t know about you, but when someone tells me I can’t know or that I can’t do something, I cannot rest until I know all the information or I do the thing. 

I’m told this lovely trait of mine comes from my mother, and a little bit of my dad, and potentially a whole lot from a great grandmother I’ll never know. So, I take breaks. I've learned when it’s time to take a step back - a breather - before I let the need to know or do swallow me whole. But I can’t let it go fully, not really, not until it’s done. 

Which is why I have to be a spy, and not only a spy, but the best. Because if I’m the best, then that word is never going to be in my way again. Knowledge is power, and power is privilege, and privilege is responsibility. 

So, when my mother was home for my entire Summer break, I knew it was my responsibility to -

Hold on. Let me backup. I don’t think that came out with the emphasis it requires to get my point across. 

My mother, current and working agent Morgan Goode, of The CIA was home, doing “nothing”. All. Summer. 

Something stunk, and it wasn’t just Andy and Peter’s disgusting socks that quite literally could have been radioactive. 

All summer, the feeling that my great grandpa - Grandpa Joe  - always tells me to never ignore, sat heavy in my gut. 

A spy’s gut is their number one weapon, Joelene, and the longer mine felt off, my nerves frayed and sparked until the slow, incessant heat of something wrong, finally caught fire and I couldn’t ignore the burn any longer. 

As mom took hushed phone calls and locked herself in the office of our safe house for hours, I felt the inside of that room and its contents calling to me like a flame does to a moth, or in my case, the opposite. I was the flame, engulfed, consumed by my need to know and that office and what was happening behind its closed door was the moth I was destined to devour. 

And that was all before she used that awful, horrible, no good for shit word. 

The classified of it all would have tipped me over the edge regardless, but it was the fact that it was my mom who said it that really sealed my fate. 

I can count, on my two hands, the total number of times my mother has said that something was classified to me, without my dad prompting her to do so. She’s always been a little…shall we say looser? with information. She is the one who always sort of half answers our questions until dad is stepping in. He’s constantly reminding her that her children are not supposed to know that she stopped a bomb in Brazil or saved an ambassador to France and that she’s, “making us think it’s okay for them to sneak out of their heavily guarded and safe schools and fly to foreign countries when it is absolutely not okay and don’t even think about it.”

I’ve heard dad’s speech so many times, that I promise you, even if I wasn’t trained to recall intimate details and information, I would still be able to tell you it verbatim.

That speech wasn’t gonna stop me because it never has, and, as I’ve previously stated, I have that trait that makes it so I can’t let things go. 

My dad shoved puzzles and code-breaking books at me all Summer. I beat Peter and Andy at Super Mario Brothers (the old one, from the 80’s, as Luigi - do you know how hard that is?). I beat Grandpa at Scrabble twice (which, okay, wasn’t that hard to do), and was forbidden from playing Monopoly with Peter inside the house ever again. I watched twenty-two spy movies, sixteen rom-coms, and five westerns. I learned the dance to Push It by Salt ‘n’ Pepa, mastered the Swift maneuver (that’s Taylor, by the way) and none of it worked. 

At my wit’s end is when mom caught me staring at a vent in the hallway between bites of Fruit Loops. Calculations and assumptions of what would stand between me and the other side seemingly apparent on my thinking face as my milk turned pink and the cereal turned squishy, because mom shook her head slowly without lifting her eyes from a newspaper. 

While, when she did lift her gaze, there was a distinct glint in her green eyes that could have you believing she was amused, her tone told me all I needed to know when she said, “Don’t even think about it if you love your eyebrows.” Which I really do (I have part of my namesake to thank for that - she never once let me take a tweezers to them no matter what the trends said) so, Operation Vent was out. 

But a threat such as this was an obstacle of child’s play proportions. Potential eyebrow removal standing between me and information? It was fuel to an already raging fire, a carrot in front of a bunny, a tailored suit and a shaken not stirred martini before the finest double o seven. 

So, on the morning of my mother’s birthday, the day before me and my brothers were to head off to school for our Senior year, I knew it was my last chance. 

I was careful to avoid the creak of the floorboard directly to the left of my bed as I semi-rolled off of it. 

Landing on socked feet, I held my breath as I glanced up at the bed across from mine. The eldest of all my siblings and us Goode kids, my sister Collins, was still asleep. Her chest rose and fell evenly under a buttercup yellow duvet and flat palms, her straight brown hair fanned over her pillow and framed her peaceful face. 

She looked like a goddamn Disney princess even in her sleep and I’ve hated her since we were kids for it. 

I hated her even more when my fingers had barely touched the cool metal of our door knob and her whisper sliced through the silence sharper than any knife my Grandpa had taught us to throw. 

“Whatever it is you’re about to do, it’s not a good idea and you should go back to sleep.”

“I’m just going pee,” I lied easily. 

She rolled her gorgeous eyes from her pillow, still laying on her side. 

Collins, of all my siblings, is the most made to be a pavement artist. She is a natural at blending, at becoming whoever she needs to be, but her eyes have always given her away. They’re a soft and warm brown most of the time, but depending on what she’s wearing or the lighting around her, touches of green and blue come out. But no matter what color they are, they’re far too expressive. 

Amusement and maybe a little pride shown in them then, her hands roamed under her cheek and her legs tucked up under the sheets as she spoke. “You have your lucky shirt on, and your lock picking set in your pocket. But sure, you’re going to the bathroom.”

“You never saw me,” I whispered, and practically somersaulted (to avoid the door hinges squeaking) out of the closest thing either of us had known to a childhood bedroom.

Spies aren’t totally devoid of feeling and emotion like the movies and novels would like you to think. They’re humans too, and crave and need a place to call home - they just need to be more careful about it, is all. 

Growing up, we moved around DC a lot, but I’m sure our actual address was in California or Idaho or something. Grandma and Grandpa took care of us quite a bit when we were really little. One of my earliest memories is Grandpa teaching me the signs for when grilled cheese is ready to flip while also teaching me the exact spot to press with a precise pressure that makes your enemy release without control (a method he so humbly calls The Zach Attack, by the way) at their ranch in the Midwest. 

There, and here, are the only two safe houses I’ve returned to. This one, close enough to school and DC, but not too close, is my childhood home if the life of a spy allowed such a thing. Sometimes, when I think about this place, I’m filled with an undeniable grief that makes my chest ache with something heavy. Because I know that one day, and maybe one not so far off, I’ll never return to it. 

This is not where, if I choose to have them, my kids will take their first steps. A boyfriend won’t show up on this doorstep with flowers and a handshake for my dad. There aren’t lines of mine and my siblings' heights tracked, there aren’t framed photos hung on the walls, there is no attic full of boxes of baby clothes or memories too fond to get rid of. 

Sure, there’s still little touches of our family here though. A dent in Andy and Peter’s room from where I flung open the door repeatedly hitting the knob into the wall. Peeling stickers of rock bands Peter and I plastered on the underside of the shelf in my closet. Scratches and scuffs on the hardwood from chairs being pushed away from the huge gathering table. A bright blue nail polish stain on the carpet in mom and dad’s room where Leia and I spilt it. We all give the fridge an extra bump with our hip to make sure it stays closed and we hit the top of the entrance to the living room as we pass underneath it. 

It’s my home. And like any girl in her home, and like any spy, I know its sounds, its tricks and secrets, its shadows. 

And sure, Collins caught me before I even left the bedroom, but that didn’t matter. If I avoided certain floor boards, if I kept low, and I worked slowly, I was convinced I could break into the office without anyone, particularly my mother, ever knowing. 

I had managed to slip down the entire hallway without a hitch, and was knelt in front of the office door with my compact lock picking set (an actual compact with the ability to unlock anything, thanks to my Aunt Macey) when I heard something. 

Hearing something, in the early hours of the morning, before the sky has really even transitioned from black to indigo, isn’t out of the ordinary. 

But hearing something, at a remote safe house, when your entire family should be asleep, is out of the ordinary. 

While I noticed the noise outside, I had failed to notice things, plural - my family’s number one rule. 

Because I failed to notice the lack of a competing snore with Peter’s and the smell of cinnamon, I’m not proud to admit I jumped when my mother’s figure slipped around the corner from the kitchen and her voice calmly and quietly asked me, “Did you hear that?”

“Yes,” I answered immediately, because I knew if my mother was clarifying if she wasn’t alone in hearing something, it was serious. There would be time to discuss how I was literally caught in the act of breaking and entering later. 

My mother stood at the end of the hallway, a steaming cup of coffee nestled between her hands. I snort and roll my eyes whenever anyone tells me I look like her. My mother is gorgeous, undeniably so, and while I may have her dark brown curls and green eyes, there’s no way I look like her.

Especially then, when she looked so much like a regular mom. My dad’s old SIX sweatshirt hung from tense shoulders. Worn navy fabric engulfed her frame, slightly covering rumpled pajama pants covered in penguins. Her brown curls were piled high on top of her head, loose pieces falling free and erratic.

But I knew about the scars under the sleeves, and the prosthetic beneath the penguins, and the look behind the green eyes. She was the furthest thing from a regular mom, especially when a louder thunk happened outside in what could be considered our driveway. 

Mom knelt slowly, her gaze on the front of the house that I couldn’t see, as the door knob in front of me started to twist. Before I could even tell her, she calmly and quietly just said, “Dad.”

I’ve always known my parents were good spies, but I never thought I’d see it in action, like this. 

The office door slowly opened, and dad barely looked at me, completely unphased as he called, “Morgan?”

He was equally fresh from sleep. A Blackthorne shirt pulled tight across his chest where letters faded and his plaid pajama pants wrinkled, looking so exceptionally dad, except for the black pistol in his hand. 

I was suddenly and acutely aware of a real threat. This was not CoveOps. This wasn’t P & E. This wasn’t a fun field trip Grandma had taken us on to Roseville with Uncle Matt. The gun without a safety ready to shoot in my father’s hand spoke the words I’d been fearing for years - this is real, and you’re not prepared, are you Joelene?

“Here, I’m fi-”

Two doors at the end of the hallway opened, cutting her off. 

My brothers blinked, heavy lids opening and closing sleepily but awake enough to assess the severity of the situation. Shirtless torsos tense as they both stared at the gun in my father’s hand and then at me with matching hard frowns. Their expressions were the beginning and end of their similarities. Peter’s brown hair was disheveled, curls flattened in some spots and sticking straight out in others. Andy’s blond was slightly less askew, if only because it was shorter. His green eyes landed exactly two inches taller than Peter’s brown, but his shoulders took up far less space in the doorway than Peter’s broad frame. One made to slip in and out of places he wasn’t supposed to and the other to barrel into anything that got in his way in the process. 

Collins, who must have determined I’d need the assist, was dressed for the occasion in all black and glaring at me from her spot crouched in our doorway. 

“I told you it was a bad-”

The front door knob rattled and my father was pushing me behind him as he stepped out of the office fully. He quickly made his way down the hallway, and I felt more than heard the steps of three of my siblings backing me up. 

Dad made to grab for my mother until she held her hand up, all of us freezing at her silent command.  

I’m convinced my parents have two different bodies. 

There’s the mom and dad bodies. The soft spot on my dad’s chest that’s perfect for a cheek to rest while listening to him read Shakespeare. The hands my mom gently runs over our heads, carefully detangling my curls. Arms and hands that twirl bodies around the kitchen in time with old music, heads that throw back in laughter with ease. 

Then, there are their highly trained take no shit I’ve seen things you can’t even imagine spy bodies. 

I hadn’t really seen these versions of my parents until then. Sure, I’d seen them fight, we all have dad to thank for our own stances. But this was different. These were shoulders and hips that stood with purpose, strong, planted, but ready to move. Arms that held a gun steady and sure. Eyes that communicated with each other without mouths saying a word. Bodies that were inherently made to protect, to fight. 

To kill. 

It was in less time than it took me to blink that their bodies transformed back into their mom and dad versions. 

The gun dropped to my dad’s side, their shoulders fell, tears quickly made my mom’s eyes glassy and both of them breathed out a name in the way only parents can. 

“Leia.”

I’d never seen my dad move so quickly, disappearing around the corner before my mom could. 

A quiet and familiar giggle burst out from the entryway, thick with tears as she whispered, “Hi, daddy.”

The four of us barreled down the hallway, tripping over each other and shoving, not believing it was her without seeing it for ourselves. 

Mom disappeared next, accompanied by the voice that couldn’t possibly be there, louder, and happier than her first words, “Happy Birthday!”

“What is wrong with you? Why didn’t you call? Why didn’t you tell us? Your dad could have -”

“Because it was a surprise,” my other sister interrupted my mother in a way I’ve never been brave enough to do so and I knew it was really her. Here. Especially when she said, “Where are the idiots?”

If Collins was made to blend, Leia was born to stand out. Even in an olive green t-shirt and camo government issued pants, Leia Goode sparkled, she glowed. Her blonde curls were pulled into a uniform low bun, and I had never seen her so tan, or her muscles so defined. Her green eyes practically glittered when the four of us rounded the corner, and her dimple poked out on her cheek and her freckled covered nose scrunched as she smiled. 

Collins managed to reach her first, but we all slammed into her, tripping over the two large green duffles at her feet as we all fell to the ground in a laughing and crying heap of chaos - our speciality. 

Leia winced under all of us, quick and quiet enough that if we weren’t who we all were, if we weren’t all still a little on edge, we wouldn’t have noticed. 

“Are you hurt?” Collins pushed all of us out of the way, gaze roaming over Leia protectively. Nurse Collins activated and assessing. 

“No,” Leia shrugged. But not the kind of shrug that admits you’re lying, the kind that, delivered properly, and with the right expression she currently wore, made you think you were crazy for asking. Of course she wasn’t hurt, why would you think such a thing? 

Normally, this expert lie delivery could win awards, and I’m sure Leia thought she was in the clear, on her way to The Academy to collect hers. But, the thing is, our parents are not normal parents. And while many parents seem to have this, like, engrained skill to suss out a lie, spy parents are worse. 

Way worse.

Each of them took a step closer, crossing their arms as they stared down at Leia like they weren’t thrilled to have her home. 

It was a shared look we’d all come to know extremely well. Without moving or saying anything, they seemed to circle you, pulling out your lie with only their eyes, making you spill your guts easily. 

They were good and highly trained, and we were no match for them. We all knew it was easier to fold - don’t lie when you’ve already been caught, don’t lie to the people who know your tells better than you do. 

But Leia stood with ease, and smiled. She shrugged again and looked at my parents without wavering. 

“I’m fin-”

“Don’t,” my mom narrowed her eyes with the word. She sucked in a breath, and I knew a speech was coming, but Leia threw her hands up in the air with a groan. 

“Alright! There was a tiny incident. It’s already healing.”

Andy’s fist clenched at his side, his jaw pulsing as he asked, “What happened?”

Leia pinched the bridge of her nose with her forefinger and thumb, closing her eyes in the process so she couldn’t see how my mom’s lips twitched in the fight of a smile or how her gaze made pointed contact with my dad’s. 

It was something we’d all seen him do a hundred times at least and before Leia could answer, Peter snorted, hands covering his mouth as his shoulder shook. 

Collins bit her lip, unable to hide her grin. Andy shivered, muttering “That’s scary.” I sucked in a breath, fighting a wheeze and Peter fell against me, laughing harder. 

Leia’s eyes flew open, looking around with a frown. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” my mom shook her head, tucking one of Leia’s stray curls back behind her ear, “What happened?”

Leia frowned, placed her hands on her hips and huffed. 

“It’s classified.”

Mom snorted and we all lost it. Dad grinned and kissed Leia’s forehead right above where her eyebrows knit together as she whined about how she didn’t get it and that someone needed to tell her what was so funny right now. 

It didn’t matter why she was home, or that she hadn’t answered the question, not really. It didn’t matter that I still didn't know what was going on in the office all summer. It didn’t matter that my dad had a gun and had been ready to use it. 

All that mattered was that we were laughing, and safe, and together for the first time in a long time. 

[galaxycunt]

15 Questions for 15 Mutuals

Figured it’d be fun to get to know ppl on here :) tagged by @alphedhel

Tagging @captastra @gayafsatan @clonesupport @the-lastcall @the-laridian @kirjanikv6ilill @socially-awkward-skeleton @incognito-insomniac @darkfire1177 @goatyoat @galaxymermaid214 @toads-treasures @roofgeese @strangefable

If you are not comfortable with putting any information you may use something like “Nice try FBI,” because it’s funny.

1. Are you named after anyone?

Bianca from Taming Of The Shrew

2. When was the last time you cried?

Literally last week when Evan puked from dehydration even tho we weren’t even in the backcountry and had plenty of water and salty food lmao he cried so I cried bc I was worried he was gonna force himself to hike down and pass out. Men are so dumb!!!! Drink water!!!!

3. Do you have kids?

No, but I’m currently trying. Which is the least gross way of saying it bc Evan like to make gross jokes about it bc it’s true lmao

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

I’m a weirdo who thinks sarcasm is super not funny lmao like ok I get it ha ha u got the whole club laughing rn 😐

5. What sports do you play/have you played?

I used to play baseball/softball with friends, soccer but not on a real team just with kids at school lmao as an adult I do rock climbing and I played rugby once with my brother in law is running in races a sport? Then I guess that too

6. What’s the first thing you notice about other people?

I like looking at peoples faces

7. Eye Color?

Dark brown the most beautiful color in da world baby 😎😎😎

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Hey man most scary movies have happy endings bc at least someone lives lmao watching yellowjackets rn and I don’t think no one got a happy ending so far

9. Any Special talents?

Used to be able to swallow objects bc I learned sword swallowing on tv lmao I don’t think I have any actual talents for things

10. Where were you born?

Reno 😎 Don’t let the marketing fool u the whip guy lives on!!!!

11. Free space (there was no 11 on the prompt I received)

I am not the best artist even tho I went to art school imo but I do love to paint mini canvas oil paintings of clouds I have them hidden in my room they are okay, alright even. I maybe should’ve gone to the copywriter focus of my ad major Lmao

12. Do you have any pets?

I have my little Iggy boy. My cat biscuit died last year of heart problems no one knew about bc she was barely 5. Odie i had since I was 10 and he died at 18. So yeah doing the strategy of feeding Iggy Mexican food bc odie lived so long on that lmao (not really don’t worry) I just let him eat small tiny bites of my food hehehe

13. How tall are you?

5’4 😔

14. Favorite subject in school?

I wasn’t really a fan of school but I did enjoy my film and acting classes. Had one cool creative writing class senior year. I use this knowledge to nod knowingly to video essays. In college I took a mycology class that was cool bc we brewed beer and baked bread. I also enjoyed my media studies classes and my professor was a porn historian who’s main focus was home video evolution and even more narrowly Betamax. Basically most inventions truly are made for porn and that sets the tone. lmaoo

15. Dream Job?

Me and Evan discussed retiring to be a park ranger and honestly that’s it. Would love to camp all day and just sit in a booth or lead nature walks. Like yeah lots of young people up on the trails doing the hard stuff but I have a friend who was a ranger in Big Bend and loved it and before getting her job in the White House was gonna hop around the parks a bit and that’s living the dream man

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hey, i started a therapy a few weeks ago so i am doing a lot of paperwork, surveys and all the stuff you need in the beginning. and my therapist (and me) were a bit surprised, because the results of the surveys (the ones i filled myself) weren't as bad as i feel and as she believes me to feel. so i thought about it and (i am having some dissociation issues, maybe that also plays a part in it) i have a specific "mindset" (unintentionally) when i go there, to be polite, vaguely honest, have a high class wording, be positive etc. things i learned that you should do and have when talking to "strangers" (or, not friends and family). so i noticed that, when i filled those surveys honestly, the answers were lies? it is a situation of "i feel good now" so my bad feelings are out of sight out of mind?

"panic attack? i haven't in years!" and when i go back home i am like "years? I haven't in 4 days". you know, i am not intentionally lying, and i feel like i am honest, in this moment. there is also something of "i am so used to feeling bad, that i don't notice it anymore". but also, "i don't insult myself, i am honest when i tell my shitty self how much i suck". there are many reasons but the end result is, that it isn't true.

i would need some nice, validating words to be honest because this feels pretty bad to me. and also, should i tell my therapist about this or do you think she knows, expects it, or will find out anyways? she (vaguely) knows about my dissociation isuees.

while i don't particularly distrust her, i also don't trust her enough yet to comfortably tell her the background of all of this, you know?

Hi anon,

The way that these evaluations are completed or the results they show could signify something to explore in therapy, like having a hard time being truly honest with yourself or reflecting on times you've struggled. I also think that there's inevitably some kind of mask we wear, our social persona, that may not necessarily reflect how we really feel or the gravity of our issues. I know that in therapy I tend to laugh a lot, even when it's not funny, just to soften the blow of the things I'm saying. This could be another thing that a therapist can work with you on, if you resonate with that.

I struggle with this too and something that helps me is to jot down the issue as I'm having it so that I can bring it to the session. I personally will make a little bullet list, my "agenda" of things that came up between the sessions that I wanted to discuss. I don't know if you would find this helpful but that is one possibility. That being said, it's okay to feel uncomfortable being fully honest with your therapist, especially since the relationship is new. Give your therapist some time to build rapport and create the space, and if you still feel uncomfortable then perhaps a different therapist could make you more comfortable.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[owfanfiction1]

• Quidditch Tales (title in progress sorry lol)

Hey everyone. As I said before i only started writing this fic because I was bored but I ended up writing more so I'll end up posting them anyway. Thanks for all the likes the first part got. Sorry again if this sucks or if it has any inconsistencies with the OG HP. Hope you like it either way! xx

Part I

Oliver Wood (Gryffindor) x Aurora Lynch (Ravenclaw)

In which the main character comes from a family of famous Quidditch players and meets the most Quidditch-obssessed person in all of Hogwarts during their first year at the magic school.

°•° First Year - 1987/1988 - Part II 

   Aurora felt like everyone was staring at her for the next two days, though Isabelle reassured her many times that was not the case. Isabelle had calmed her down so much the last few hours, Aurora could truly see she was a friend, and she felt immensely glad. They had avoided sitting down close to David or Luke during meal times (though they already sat a little far away themselves), and Aurora felt like she would carry on avoiding contact with other people, especially non-Ravenclaws, until she felt she had truly recovered from the disappointment.

   When she entered the Great Hall for lunch, her stomach froze as she saw Oliver. He was such a nice guy, but he was probably using her too; David himself said he is interested in playing for Gryffindor, he probably thought Aurora could help him with it. When the students were heading back to their classrooms after lunch finished, Oliver had smiled and tried to approach her and Isabelle, but Aurora took her hand and sprinted to their next lesson before Oliver had the chance to catch up.

   Aurora got away with ignoring Oliver two other times, until the first year students were all standing, waiting outside Professor Flitwick's classroom to come inside, and he tapped her shoulder.

 - Hellooo! - he said loudly. Aurora could feel she was blushing. Isabelle's eyes widened, but she waited for Aurora's reaction first.

 - Hi, Oliver - Aurora, said turning away.

 - Well, how are you girls? Haven't seen you in days...

 - Fine - Aurora replied.

 - Did you... read QVW this week? - he asked slowly.

 - Yup.

 - Are you all right? Isabelle, is she okay?

 - We're FINE, Oliver, okay? We are fine! - Aurora spoke louder than she needed to. Oliver looked at her, in shock. He then took her wrist, muttered "Come here!" and dragged her a bit farther away from where the Ravenclaws and Gryffindors were waiting to come in, with Isabelle at their heels.

 - What is up with you?

 - Nothing! Nothing is up with me! All I'll tell you is that you can drop your little act, okay, Wood? I know you only want one thing! And it's not happening!

 - What? What do I want?

 - You're pretending to be my friend to make into the Gryffindor team, okay?! I know all about it! I am NOT helping you, I dont even KNOW the Quidditch Captains here! And I'm NOT-

 - Wait... - he held up his hands - You think... Why would I think being friends with you would help me become a Quidditch player?

 - Because... Well... - she stuttered as she watched his confused face. He really, honestly had no idea.

 - I mean... - he continued, muttering - Peter Lovejoy is my cousin and he plays for my house... That is why your little boyfriend said he saw me sticking up to his arse... He's my mum's nephew, I absolutely hate him, but well, he is Captain...

   Aurora looked at Isabelle, widening her eyes. Isabelle shrugged.

 - But what does Quidditch have to do with you? - Oliver repeated.

 - Well... some people thought I knew the Ravenclaw captain... Everyone thinks I know everyone in Quidditch, actually... - she replied.

 - Why? I mean would they-- Wait, do they think you are related to Adrian Lynch?

 - I am. He's my father.

   Oliver gasped, shaking his arms in shock.

 - What?! I had no-! Of course! That is SO COOL! Your dad... - He then straightened his posture, coughing - I mean he's all right... Oh, look, the class is going in, come on...

   Aurora had to stifle a laugh at that last comment. Oliver truly had to be brave to insult Aurora's own father right to her face. She could feel her cheeks were still crimson at the fact she had ignored and been so rude to Oliver for no reason. She looked at Isabelle, who whispered: "You should apologise to him...", and Aurora nodded.

   As soon as the class was as loud as it could be, Aurora considered Oliver.

 - I'm sorry... For... Everything. I shouldn't have done that - she finally said.

 - Well, it's all right. I understand why you'd think that... I mean some people might say it's nepotism or something when I get on the Gryffindor team, so...

 - Oh, come on... How do you know you'll get on the team?

    Oliver scoffed.

   Oliver did not manage to get on the team. A seventh year named Redding had taken the place of keeper instead. Aurora had teased Oliver so much about it in the Great Hall the day they found out, his face turned as red as the colour of his tie. He couldn't have been that disappointed though, everybody knew first years never made the team, and she reassured him he could try it next year.

 - I know. Definitely. Tryouts are next week, you'll see...

   They still kept their own little competition going on in their Flying lessons, though all of the students were getting pretty good at it at that stage. On a side note, both Aurora and Isabelle agreed that Oliver's mood improved slightly when she told him she was no longer speaking to David, though Aurora chose not to tell him what he had done.

   Towards mid-October, David had clearly put his revenge plan in action, which Aurora had been dreading for a few weeks. One day, she had simply left her homework on one of the tables in the Ravenclaw Common Room to go upstairs pick up a book, and when she came back, her homework was gone. She looked thoroughly for it, but it didn't seem to be anywhere. The only person Aurora knew in the room was David, though of course Aurora could not prove it was him; the worst part is she couldn't curse him in retaliation, because she would then be punished. She had cried all afternoon locked in the girls' bathroom - not only because she had to re-do her homework, but because she did not see what she had done wrong, she felt so alone and a wave of despair and anger went through her every time she saw David for a week.

   Quidditch had finally started in the first week of November, and the first match was Slytherin versus Hufflepuff - Aurora could not wait for a way to distract herself from David's bullying, as well as homework. But she just couldn't wait for Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw; and now that the teams were officially lined up, she could compare notes with Oliver. In Gryffindor, Peter Lovejoy was a good Chaser, but he, one of the Beaters and the Seeker were the only senior players in the team - the other two Chasers, the Keeper and the other Beater were all new additions and no one knew how they would play out in a real match; meanwhile, the only addition for Ravenclaw was a new Chaser, the position David had wanted which had gone to a really short fourth year.

   Aurora basically had Quidditch running through her veins; she thought no one could be more in love with it than her, until of course she heard Oliver talking about it. He had told Aurora he would sneak out to watch the Gryffindors train at the pitch whenever he could - and that was only Hogwarts Quidditch; he thoroughly read every edition of QVW and she found out his dad frequently wrote to him with details of the matches so he could know the statistics of the actual Quidditch League. Aurora found it completely hilarious and fascinating, and that was becoming the strong part of their relationship - they were very good friends, but they constantly teased each other about the Quidditch League and/or the Hogwarts Cup. Ravenclaw ended up beating Gryffindor when they faced each other, and Oliver refused to speak to Isabelle and Aurora for a whole day, which Aurora found hilarious.

   It was a Saturday mid-November, Aurora was getting told off by Isabelle, who was demanding her to go talk to Professor Flitwick. David's new plan had taken place in their dormitory, and it was obvious he had put one of his girl friends up for the job. Aurora had put on a pair of trousers to spend the day, which had obviously been jinxed, and levitated her up, loudly and strongly banging her head against the ceiling. Aurora had immediately started crying, feeling completely humiliated, and threatened. After calming down, she told Isabelle what had happened the first time, which led to Isabelle lending Aurora one pair of her own trousers, seizing her strongly by the arm and pulling her towards Prof. Flitwick's office.

   There, she had explained everything that happened, sobbing between sentences, and Isabelle served as a witness. Professor Flitwick then called David, as well as Professor McGonagall, the Deputy Headmistress, to his office, which made Aurora freeze and feel even more nervous.

 - Sir, I'd never do that to anyone's homework. And how do you explain how your pants were jinxed? Guys aren't allowed in girls' dormitories - David scoffed, after Professor Flitwick explained why he was there.

 - You asked one of your friends to do it, obviously! - Isabelle shouted.

 - Ha! - David scowled - Professor Flitwick, you know I am a model student. All students and teachers can confirm this. I don't know where she has got this idea from.

   Aurora's eyes filled with tears again.

 - You are mad I didn't help you get in the Ravenclaw team!

 - Wh-Why would I be MAD? - David acted offended - I tried to get in, yes, but I am not MAD at anyone.

 - I HEARD you saying she would regret it if she didn't help you!

 - I did NOT!

 - You did, too! - Aurora screamed, sobbing.

 - Enough! - Professor McGonagall's voice echoed loudly - We shall go up to Ms. Lynch's room. I want to examine her clothes.

   The five of them walked up to the Ravenclaw Common Room. The Ravenclaws all looked surprised to see Professor McGonagall there, who just strode up to the female second years' room. Aurora showed her her clothes, praying for the teacher to believe her.

   They went down to meet David and Professor Flitwick at the bottom of the stairs, and walked out of the Room again towards the corridor, and Professor McGonagall asked, strictly:

 - Mr. Simmons, have you jinxed Ms. Lynch's clothes?

 - No!

   She considered David.

 - Asked one of your girl friends to do that for you?

 - No, ma'am!

   She sighed.

 - I do not want to see you anywhere near Ms. Lynch from now on, do you understand me, Mr. Simmons? If Ms. Lynch has any more complaints about you, they will be dealt with personally by Professor Dumbledore, do you understand?

 - Professor! - David protested.

 - Do you understand, Mr Simmons?!

 - Yes, ma'am - David answered in a small voice.

 - Well. Ms. Lynch, please do not hesitate to contact me if anything else goes wrong... Or use self-defence spells - she insinuated this sentence, eyeing David. - And that is twenty points from Ravenclaw. For lack of solidarity.

   Isabelle protested quietly, and David looked to Aurora once again, raising his right eyebrow. He did not say anything, though, and just walked downstairs.

   Aurora did her best to shake off how desperate and afraid she felt, but David seemed like she would not annoy Aurora again, especially because Professor McGonagall watched him like a hawk for many seconds whenever he came inside the Great Hall for over a week. Aurora had not told anyone, not even Oliver, what had happened, but once, a few of the girls that were part of David's gang were pointing at Aurora, who was waiting outside the Charms room with Isabelle and Oliver and laughing hardly at some nasty comments that Aurora made out to be "Have you seen the state of her hair?!".

 - What are those girls laughing at? - Oliver asked curiously.

 - Probably me.

 - Why would they be laughing at you?

 - Probably David put them up for it. Rory, don't let him bully you! - Isabelle said.

 - Wait... Bully you?! That piece of s... That git is bullying you?

 - He's not! - lied Aurora - They're just stupid okay? I really don't care. Don't worry about it.

   However, the next day, Paul Clark, a second year from Ravenclaw told everybody he saw David hopping around the corridor outside the Great Hall because of a body-binding curse someone had put on him and Aurora secretly wondered if Oliver had anything to do with that.

   The rest year, thankfully, went on swiftly, Aurora's friendship with both Isabelle and Oliver becoming stronger and stronger, the subjects getting harder though she enjoyed every minute of it, and Hogwarts truly became her favourite place on Earth, her home. The best parts were, of course, when she could tease Oliver after Gryffindor or the Tornados faced a defeat, as she loved to watch Oliver's ears turning red. Ravenclaw did lose once, to Slytherin, and Oliver finally had a chance to tease Aurora back. However, both turned out level when Slytherin won the House Cup that year, and they were too disappointed to even fight.

   The final exams were stressful and completely detested by all, but Aurora and Isabelle stayed true to their Ravenclaw hearts, and studied hard for every one of them. Oliver was shocked to see Aurora even revised for their Flying final exam; he claimed there couldn't possibly be something to revise for if Flying was so natural to her, but Aurora just couldn't leave any subject untouched. Unsurprisingly, Flying ended up being the easiest final exam - Madame Hooch just asked students to fly up and perform a few tricks up in the air. For Aurora, the worst final exam was definitely Potions - Professor Snape was her least favourite teacher, who always seemed to be in a mood. But she pushed through it with the help of Isabelle and her roommates, who also proved they were truly Ravenclaws at heart.

   Aurora did not want the last day of school to come, but it did. She had spent 2 days packing up everything she had before they had to be at the Hogsmeade station, on the last day of term, catching the train at 10am. She had spent her last night at Hogwarts trying Every Flavour Beans with her friends, talking about their favourite parts of the year and what they would do over the summer. As soon as they reached King's Cross, she had hugged Isabelle tightly goodbye, having already exchanged addresses so they could maintain contact over the summer. She also hugged Charlie, Penelope and Georgia, after also promising to stay in touch. Aurora spotted her parents in a corner, and she knew as soon as they finished hugging, they would leave the platform, but she had not yet said goodbye to Oliver - and she had a hard time admitting it, but she would miss him. Luckily, before she stepped out the train, Oliver had placed his arm around her shoulders, just like David used to, but with him, it felt genuine and comfortable.

 - Have a good summer, eh, Ace?

 - I will. And don't call me that. Here... - Aurora handed him the last piece of paper with her address on.

 - Is that...

 - Yes. Write to me. Don't be a stranger.

   Aurora hugged him again and jumped off the train onto the platform. She then finally hugged and kissed her parents, who helped her with her luggage. Aurora looked back, taking in the last image of Hogwarts she would have for the next couple of months; her mother took her hand and together they ran into the wall and out into King's Cross Station.

[dangertoozmanykids101]

This is a MUST LISTEN!

I promise you. You're going to love this story! You think our little collaborative challenges are fun within the writing groups here on Tumblr? Well the story of Naked Came The Stranger is going to have you in stitches. You must listen to it. About 20min.

You will never even believe the trail of tangents that brought me to this story tonight so I won't even try to explain, but I am giddy with what a whopper of a tale I stumbled on.

In 1969 a number of reporters at the Newsday Headquarters collaborated to write the worst bestselling erotic novel that they could muster under the pseudonym of Penelope Ashe.

AND THEY DID IT! SUCCESS!

Trust me, you need to listen to this story. It has voice clips of a bunch of the people originally involved and their memories of this caper. It is such a fun listen. I PROMISE!! While you're driving to the grocery store or doing the dishes or driving to work, this is a fun listen. The producers rated this PG because there's nothing really untoward in it, but still probably NSFW, as a woman quotes a couple lines from the book in a breathy sultry voice like: "Together like garden snakes, they contorted, moaned, gasped, clenched and throbbed." Or how the man says something like "who knew there was more to think about on Saturdays than mowing the lawn." Or a line in a similar vein. I laughed so hard!

The tone of voice in those clips is more what would be NSFW, but there are just a few instances when they quote from the book. There's nothing else to really worry about.

Twenty-four reporters submitted chapters. Some submittals were too good! Some chapters had to be dumbed down and made more trashy, less eloquent - the talent had to be carefully extracted from the writing. The guys admitted that it took a lot of work to truly write something that was honestly badly written.

They didn't want 'good.' You can't submit that.

Give it a listen and let me know what you think. And don't miss - further down the page is a bonus audio of 1 min and 23 secs where the guys comment about the movie that was made of the book.

"Sex in suburbia... It isn't all it seems to be."

My favorite part of the story was about "Penelope Ashe, the demure Long Island housewife". A first time writer, she even went around the country promoting her first break-out novel. Radio and TV interviews.

"Attractive, smart (as in fashionable and intelligent) upper middle class housewife Penelope Ashe became a literary sensation in 1969 with the publication of her adult novel Naked Came the Stranger. Ashe was the perfect person to become a pop culture sensation – a wholesome, pretty brunette suburbanite wife, possessing a mind spinning with hot, sexy, forbidden fantasies. The prior year Glenn Campbell had the hit “The Dreams of the Everyday Housewife”, elaborating on the pathetic notion that once a woman gives up her freedom to become a housewife she has nothing left in life but to fantasize about what might have been;..."

"Virginity is like a Tiffany Lamp."

Omg, this is my new favorite quote! I'm going to use it all the time from now on - I'll slip it into everything I write!!!

“And what does that mean?” they will wonder.

“Well, if you don't know then you obviously haven't read my book.”

Oooo!!! I'll name my first story in the series Beckoned By Tiffany's Beacon. Set in a phallic shaped lighthouse where she lures sailors like a siren! GASP! Filled with heaps of cream colored cable knit sweaters!!!

No. No. Maybe Sex In The Lamp Light With Tiffany. Or An Illuminating Breakfast At Tiffany's. Or Tiffany Takes the Torch. Or “Light the Tapers,” said Tiffany.

Okay now I'm just getting silly and plain stupid - dead on loopy!!

There's no way we can allow this story to just sit here without going wild with inspiration, right? My mind is reeling with ideas, and I'm dying to research everything from that time period now. Or about that time period.

Did any of y'all watch the series Minx?

It was a great show! I hope someone else picks it up for season two. I want to watch it again now, as well as rewatch Boogie Nights. AND I want to rewatch Frost Nixon!!

Did you catch that they went on the David Frost Show??? "Would you now meet the authoress of Naked Came The Stranger, Penelope Ashe". and out walks ..... Damn it. I can't find the recording of the actual episode yet.

I will close to this post with one last nugget to hopefully tickle your fancy, or at least tickle your funny bone, and I pray it will kickstart some mojo for y'all. This is a delightful song written and performed by one of my all-time favorites, Tom Lehrer called Smut during a live performance in 1967. So this is only two years before the 1969 fiasco of Naked Came The Stranger. Very appropriate, don't you think? :-) He presents his song by first saying:

"Now I would like to say something about pornography or as we call it in the United States 'smut'. Wonderful word, yes. There have been many cases in the American courts recently about this very problem. The United States Supreme Court, for example, has decided that a book or a film can be banned if it arouses the prurient interests of the average person. Prurient now - and I look that up - it means having itching morbid or lewd and lascivious desires. Now surely that describes all of us here tonight. But I disagree with this principle because I really enjoy having my prurient interests aroused. And in fact there's only one thing I enjoy more than having them aroused and that is having them gratified. So, as I say, I'm opposed to this. But we have marches now for peace and marches for civil rights. So I thought I would have a march for smut."

Here's a handful of friends I think might get a kick out of this. Actually I think all of you might!! So pass it on!!! Because this is a fun one!

@messy-insomniac-bookgirl (remember how you were JUST talking about the crazy places rabbit holes can spit you out???)

@ladyoftheteaandblood @caffiend-queen @nildespirandum @emeraldrosequartz @latent-thoughts @just-the-hiddles @kind-of-crazy-butthatsokay @maiden-of-asgard @tilltheendwilliwrite @jtargaryen18 @myoxisbroken @imanuglywombat @redfoxwritesstuff @alexakeyloveloki @talklokitome @wolfsmom1 @nonsensicalobsessions @mastreworld @mooncat163 @shiningloki @gigglingtigger @lokisgoodgirl @xorpsbane @deceitfuldevout @boredbrooder @lokilickedme @texmexdarling @pedeka @searchforanotherway @peaches1958 @holymultiplefandomsbatman @christhickevans @sidepartskinnyjeans @spectre-posts @villainousshakespeare @fictive-sl0th @what-is-your-plan-today @ghotifishreads @saiyanprincessswanie @punemy-spotted @cockslutpadalecki @springdandelixn

[maddies-chronicles]

jayden.

jayden james finnegan (he/him) is an oc of mine based on a real person (PLEASE do not come for me i know i have a problem ok i KNOW). he originally comes from a whodunnit story i wrote about a series of arsons in a high school. i shared a lot of the enemies-to-lovers arc he has with his in-story love interest, morgan fay (they/them), who is basically just me in another font. despite this, i still manage to be jealous of them when i write scenes. his face claim is akeem osborne (which, he's not a totally correct pick for jayden, technically the ethnicities don't match up, but akeem was the closest person i could find physical features-wise).

(read more bc this is a long post)

i meet jayden in fourth grade, when he befriends my longtime friend named joel corbyn (he/him). joel and i stop talking shortly after, and for a while, i kind of view jayden as the reason (even though he is well and truly not). cue some CR trauma involving another ex-friend's meddling, and boom! jayden and i hate each other.

in fifth grade, jayden and i have two separate conflicts that both involve us getting expelled from our previous school, and we both end up in seacoast boarding academy's probatio program. we're less than thrilled to see each other, but after some character development on my part and his, we become friends in or around ninth grade. eventually, around eleventh grade he asks me out and i say yes.

jayden is kind of an asshole (lmao), but not really in an evil way so much as a funny way. really he's only mean to people who deserve it, but he's very witty and goofy. he's definitely a class clown type of person, and he's extremely popular, whereas for most of my life i am not. he's on the football team, he's a skater boy, and he's "too cool for school" (read: he has ADHD and dyslexia- the school system has failed him and he feels like he's just stupid, makes an attempt to convince himself and other people that his failure to meet academic expectations is a conscious choice and not a personal failing. also yes he and i make demigod jokes, because i have ADHD and dyscalculia. he jokes that he's a greek demigod, i joke that i'm a roman demigod). he does really good in one class though- any math class. this is because the math classrooms have access to audio pens, and highlighted words can be read out loud to the user through headphones. despite usually being a brilliant situational observer, jayden somehow never makes a connection between the audio pens and his success in the classes.

jayden's family life is insanely complicated. his parents have been divorced since early childhood. his father is a violent alcoholic and has been jailed several times. his mom remarried a guy named stephane, and jayden now has one full-blood older brother (kaden, he/him, two years older), one step-sister sharing no blood relation to him (genevieve, she/her, three years younger), and one maternal half-sister (rosalie, she/her, five years younger). his dad moves back in with them when we're about seventeen, causes many problems, and his mom and stephane briefly separate during this time (everything ends up being okay with them, though). jayden has a pretty strained relationship with his dad, and during this period of time he definitely comes to stay with me or another friend more often than not. his family's not rich necessarily, but they would be considered pretty good living standards for middle class.

he's a disaster bisexual. he loves wearing maxi skirts, painting his nails black, and when i do his eyeliner. he loves red roses and hoodies and those little goofy valentine's day teddy bears. despite being on the football team, he's a fairly wiry, thin guy, and i'm definitely stronger than him physically lol. he's honestly probably better suited to soccer than football, but i guess his friends are all on the football team. he's 5'10", which means that even though my DR self is taller than my CR self, he is still very much taller than me. we both love coffee dates, and we frequently go out to just sit and talk in a coffee shop for literal hours. he gets a latte and i get a black iced coffee and every single time he makes some kind of joke about it and me being nuts and i make a joke back about him being a wimp. i love him so much and i'm definitely going to make an entire second post talking about this man because he's just so awesome and amazing and i love him ok bye