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micha-writes · 3 years

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I never posted this ficlet on here, so ... a little teen!au destiel ficlet that I wrote :) (ao3 link)

That Thing About Best Friends

The thing about best friends is, you can tell them anything. Your best friend, that’s someone who understands you – sometimes even better than you understand yourself. It’s someone who cares about you, someone you can trust, even with your darkest secret. No matter what’s on your mind, no matter what keeps you awake at night, you can tell your best friend, and they’ll be there for you. Maybe they’ll just listen, because sometimes that’s what you need. Maybe you’ll talk about the problem and try to think of a solution together, or maybe they’ll make you change your mind and see things differently. That’s things best friends do.

Most of the time best friends just have fun together, of course. They maybe play a video game together and insult each other over Mario Kart, or they do silly little things like making up funny dances to their favourite music or falling off the couch laughing about inside jokes they come up with while watching a bad movie. Best friends are, first and foremost, friends, of course. Friends who spend time together, have fun and laugh together.

But life’s not always just fun and games, Dean has learned that the hard way. No, life’s not always easy. Life has rough parts, it can be hard sometimes; and because life isn’t all fun and games, the thing about best friends isn’t either.

And in those times, when life isn’t fun at all, your best friend is still there. Sometimes you just need a hug, a supportive smile, a shoulder to cry on or an open ear to listen to your rant. That’s things best friends do: They’re there even when the road gets bumpy.

That’s another thing Dean has learned: That your best friend is there even when you expect them not to be. Even when you think you’ve scared them away with all your complaints about life or your constant anger, even when you think this time you’ve gone too far and ruined your relationship, they’re still there.

Yes, Dean has been there. Dean has yelled at his best friend for no reason, Dean has blamed his best friend for various bad things happening in his life, and still, his best friend is always there.

Cas is always there for Dean. He has always been, for as long as Dean can remember, all his life. In fact, Cas is a part of most of Dean’s earliest memories. He remembers that Cas was there back in the day when it all still was nothing but fun and games, when they were just little kids running around the park or building little castles in the sandbox.

Dean didn’t think of Cas as his best friend back then, he probably didn’t even know the concept yet. He didn’t call him that, but looking back, Cas still was his best friend, even back then, even at only a few years old. One of the clearest and at the same time most important memories Dean has of Cas is of the day of his mother’s funeral. Dean was only 4 years old back then, and he doesn’t remember a lot from that day. But one of the things he remembers clearly is Cas being there next to him, and Cas, just a little kid himself, trying to comfort his friend as good as possible, Cas pulling his little arms around Dean and hugging him as he noticed his silent tears.

Cas has been a constant in Dean’s life ever since. And even though Dean is only 16 years old, his life has been a lot so far. But no matter what happened, no matter how much it was at certain points, Cas has always been there. Ever since that day back then when Dean lost his mother and his home the same night, Cas hasn’t let him down a single time.

Dean trusts Cas, he trusts him more than he trusts any other person in the entire world. Cas has always been the person Dean went to with his deepest secrets, his most personal doubts and concerns, and all his worries.

Cas has always been the one person who knew that Dean’s broken arm wasn’t the result of falling out off a tree, and the black and blue marks all over his arms and upper body didn’t come from Dean fighting with his brother either. Dean and his brother Sam barely fight, and when they do, their weapons of choice are words.

Dean has never talked to anyone except Cas about his father. Not even to Sam, even though Sam of course knows where the marks on his brother’s body come from, he obviously knows where the broken bones that Dean has had multiple times come from, but he also knows that Dean doesn’t want to talk about it. That is, he doesn’t want to talk about it to anyone except Cas.

Dean likes to pretend he’s tough. He likes to pretend he’s strong and manly and hasn’t cried a single time in his entire life, but he doesn’t do it with Cas. Not all the time, at least. Because no matter how tough Dean pretends to be every single day in the school corridors, Cas has seen him cry a lot when they’re hanging out after school, just lying together on their backs in the grass on the field behind their school, just talking. That’s the times Dean talks about his father, and his broken bones, and the marks all over his body.

Dean has told Cas about pretty much every secret he’s ever had in his entire life, and he’s rather sure that Cas has done the same thing. Dean knows a lot of things about Cas, and many of those are things about which Cas has made him swear he’d never tell anyone about it.

The biggest secret Dean is keeping for Cas probably is the one he told him just a few months ago. Dean still remembers that day very well, maybe because it happened not that long ago, but probably rather because hearing Cas say what he said did cause him an undefinable chaos of emotions that he still doesn’t really know how to handle.

Dean still thinks about it now and then, sometimes when he’s alone and thinking, he leans back and remembers how Cas looked at him with that insecure look in his eyes and quietly said “I think I might be gay”, and then he thinks about the weird feeling that single phrase planted in his chest.

That feeling is the only thing Dean never told Cas about. It’s not that Dean has any kind of problem with his best friend’s sexuality, he absolutely doesn’t. He’s not his father, after all – even though he has taken on some of his bad traits, like the anger issue, but homophobia isn’t one of them.

No, Dean is fine with it, and he and Cas have talked about it, about Cas’s doubts concerning his sexuality and his realization that maybe he’s just not straight. They have talked about it, and Dean has really tried his best to be helpful, as good as that was possible with that insane and weird feeling sitting there in his chest, refusing to leave.

Dean didn’t know back then what the feeling was, but he knew that for some reason, he didn’t want Cas to know about it. Today, he’s still not entirely sure what the feeling is about, but by now he has figured out why he doesn’t want Cas to know.

Because today, Dean has understood that the feeling came not directly from Cas telling him he might be gay, no, it came from Dean taking that in and thinking a step (or two) further: Cas likes guys, was the initial thought of understanding, and then Dean thought … could he like me?

Now that, again, isn’t a question Dean asks himself because it would freak him out if it was true, no. Dean knows by now, after countless of sleepless nights spent thinking about it, that he asks himself that question because a part of him wants Cas to like him that way.

And now that is the point of confusing thoughts and doubts where Dean would normally go and talk to Cas about it. Because that’s the thing with best friends, you can tell them anything, they keep your secrets, and they help you figuring stuff like that out. Yes, Dean would love to talk to Cas about it, listen to Cas’s advice, because it’s always great, but the thing is, he can’t talk to Cas about it.

He can’t talk to Cas, because that would include having to tell Cas about those other thoughts Dean has had. Telling Cas would include telling him about those late nights Dean has been lying awake thinking about how it would feel to kiss Cas, thinking about how they could just walk down the street holding hands or about how they could cuddle up when watching a movie together. If he would tell Cas about his doubts regarding his own sexuality, it would sooner or later lead to that conversation, Dean is sure about that, and it scares him.

Dean doesn’t want Cas to know because he doesn’t want to ruin what they have right now. Cas is his best and oldest friend, and as much as he lies awake sometimes, fantasizing about a different kind of relationship with him, he doesn’t want to lose the friend he has right now. Dean is scared of a number of possible outcomes of this situation.

He’s aware of course that just because Cas is probably gay, that doesn’t mean he has to be into Dean. Cas could just as well be gay and not be interested in him at all, Dean knows that, and it’s one of his fears: Telling Cas about all his thoughts, telling him about his sexuality and his confusing feelings, just to have Cas tell him he doesn’t like him that way. That would hurt. It would hurt a lot.

What Dean is also scared about is disappointing Cas. Unknowingly leading him on, playing with his friend’s feelings. Because just hypothetically, if Dean tells him he likes him, and Cas happens to feel the same way, and they give it a try but Dean realizes he doesn’t actually like Cas … Dean is scared of unknowingly “faking it”, he’s scared of misinterpreting his own thoughts and feelings, and he’s so so scared of hurting Cas, breaking his heart and losing him as his friend.

And that’s what it all comes down to: Cas being his friend. His oldest friend, his best friend. The one person he trusts unconditionally, the one who’s always there for him, the one who always listens and gives the best advice, the one he shares all his insecurities and secrets with.

And that, yes, that’s the point. Because Cas is, and always has been, the one person Dean could talk about everything with. No matter what it is, Cas always makes time and room for Dean, Cas is always there to listen.

And now that’s the other thing about best friends: If they’re the one and only person you talk about all your problems with, that’s all perfectly fine and works well, as long as your best friend isn’t the reason you need someone to talk. It’s all fine telling your best friend about your most personal thoughts and dreams, it’s all fine telling them about that person you’re falling for, spending hours trying to convince them your crush really is as amazing as you believe them to be and being made fun of for your blush whenever you’re talking about them, that’s all good fun, until you look at your best friend and realize they’re the one you’re falling for.

Because what do you do if you have that one person you tell everything, but the one thing that’s on your mind the most is also the one thing you can’t discuss with them, because it’s about them? Yes, what do you do when you need to talk about your need-to-talk person? What do you do when you can’t really tell your tell-me-everything person everything?

What do you do when you fall in love with your best friend?

Dean is insecure, he’s scared and he’s incredibly anxious about what might happen, but finally, he decides to talk to Cas. Because it is Cas, after all.

It’s Cas, who has always listened and understood Dean, all his life. It’s Cas, who has always been calm and supportive, no matter what. It’s Cas, just Cas. It’s his best friend.

And that’s another thing about best friends.

They’re always there, and you can always talk about anything.

You might fall in love with your best friend, or you might not. But either way, you love them.

And they love you.

They want nothing but the best for you, just like you do for them. And you can talk to them, even when you’re insecure about their reaction to what you’ve got to say. You can talk to them, they won’t rip off your head.

Because they care about you, just like you care about them. And they’re probably about as scared of hurting you as you are of hurting them. They are, just like you, trying to protect the person they care about.

Because that’s what best friends do.

#it's just me throwing thoughts onto paper #my writing #mic writes #destiel #destiel au #destiel ficlet #ficlet #fanfic #dean winchester #castiel novak #TLDR: Dean is in love with Cas but is scared to tell him

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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years

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In a world where Bruce Wayne raised Damian since birth - Ficlets part 2/3

And here we are. So. Yeah. I got extremely carried away again so I guess I’m cutting this “last part” in two ^^'. The last part (so the third one) is therefor already written and will be posted soon after a few other stories I got to update ! Thanks for reading, hope you’ll like this and boom :

PART 1

My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives

TW : mentions of blood in the “The day he learned what death meant” part ! Also, loss of a close family member... + drowning in “The Pond incident”.

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******

"No more Robins.”

Bruce couldn’t bring himself to explain to Damian what happened to Jason.

Of course, he knew that one day, he would have to. And that the sooner the better. Especially since the boy was asking more and more when his brother would come back.

Bruce was pretty sure his boy thought that Jason went to form his own “Teen Titans”, like Dick did years ago.

Damian kept asking to video conference Jason, when he’d call, why didn't he kiss him goodbye, or when he’d come back to have dinner with them…Yes. Yes the boy most likely thought his older brother did what his oldest brother did.

Went away for a little while, definitely not forever.

Bruce wondered how long he would be able to wisthand his son’s questions.

Every time the little one would ask « When is Zayson calling/coming back ? », Bruce felt his heart shrivel more and more, and flashes of Jason’s body in his arms kept coming back and-

He couldn’t. Bruce couldn’t. How the hell could he say anything ?

How could he explain to his baby son that his beloved brother would never come home again ? Would never call ?And that everything was his own father’s fault…He couldn’t break his son’s heart like that. He couldn’t bear to..

But he would have to. One day or another.

“The sooner the better”, Dick said. And Bruce knew he was right. But it was too hard.

And then suddenly, as if summoned by his thought, there he was.

Little Damian.

Except this was clearly not the right time to tell him what truly happened to Jason, as the boy seemed mildly annoyed and was…Wearing his coat and shoes ? Where was he going ? And who was that other kid with him ?

The newcomer seemed to be around twelve, and was smiling widely, clearly excited to be here. Before he could speak though :

“Daddy, he knows you’re Batman.”

Damian said, very matter of factly, as if it wasn’t really a surprise. And maybe to a six years old growing up knowing his dad was Batman, it wasn’t ?

Although in this case, it was more the fact that Damian’s mind was monopolized by where Jason went, than him not being surprised someone guessed who Batman was. In other circumstances, and if he was older than barely six, maybe he would’ve been very impressed...Later on in his life, Tim would genuinely impress him many times with his intellect.

Damian never told anyone, because since he was very young, Bruce, Alfred, Dick and Jason told him not to. Because it was a secret. And it became natural for him, to not talk about this to anyone. He was basically conditioned to never even mention the Dark Knight.

“Batman” was part of the boy’s life since birth, to him, he was nothing special except for the fact it was his beloved dad. He was always more of a “Robin” fan anyway, as he regarded both his brothers in awe...

Which made him think, where was Jason ?!

The thought of him brought Damian back to his initial idea, which was to go to Jason’s school (wherever that was) and look for him. As he thought about it, he realized there was a big flaw in his plan for sure. Where was his brother’s school ? And also, it was Winter’s vacation ? Why would he be there ?

Then...Where was he ?

Now, Damian was even more annoyed at this dude who knocked on their door. Not only did he wrecked his plans to go to Jason’s school (before he could truly think about it), but now he was monopolizing his dad’s attention so Damian, who was taught basic politeness by Alfred, couldn’t even cut him off to ask where Jason was !

This had slowly become Damian’s obsession, to know where his brother was. He’s never been so focus on only one thing in his entire short life.

“...and that’s how I found out you were most definitely him, The Batman !”

Damian didn’t really listen to what “Tim” said. He didn’t care that much how he found out that his dad was Batman, all he wanted was...Oh, but wait a minute.

Tim discovered who Batman really was.

All on his own. While everyone in Gotham seemed oblivious to that fact. This must mean...

“Hey ! You must know where Jason went ?”

Damian was maybe young, but he was smarter than a lot of adults would give children credits for. He often easily put two and two together anyway (thanks to the many puzzles his father turned into games and made him solve, along with his brothers), and if that Tim could find out who Batman really was when everyone else was in the dark (even Superman, and he met both Batman AND Bruce Wayne rather often), he could probably find Jace !

Tim turned to Damian, and looked at him with a sorry look in his eyes and...Why ? But the boy never had time to ask that question as his father said :

“Damian, go to your room please. Timothy and I have to talk.”

“But I want to-”

“No buts. I’ll come by your room when I’m done. Please, do as I say, Damian.”

There was something in his father’s tone, that made Damian sort-of forget about asking where Jason was. Something grave, as if the man he admired the most on this Earth would suddenly shatter.

There was something in his father’s tone that made him not want to argue, and to just listen. Something that just sounded quiet and heavy. And so without trying to argue further, Damian went to his room, and waited.

Waited for what seemed hours, for his father to come tell him whatever he wanted to tell him.

But Bruce never came to explain anything. Or to tell what happened between him and Tim. He couldn’t. He just didn’t have the strength yet. Especially not after he told Tim off, and told him to forget about Batman and go on on his own ways.

Not after he told Tim that there was : “no more Robins”.

************

The Pond Incident.

It didn’t seem his dad wanted to explain to him much about what happened with Tim, or talk about Jason at all.

In fact, since yesterday and Tim’s impromptu arrival, Damian hadn’t seen his father at all. Nor did he see Dick (later, he’d learn than both men were together, working a case and trying to focus on it to take their pain away...Later, the boy would learn his father just couldn’t face him just yet).

When Damian asked “Fafred” (Alfred), the butler told him they were both busy. The boy didn’t even bother, this time, to ask where Jason was. He knew he’d get no satisfying answers. So he decided, just like the day before before he got interrupted by Tim and then spend the entire day waiting for his dad in his room, well he decided to take things in his own hands.

Now, there was only one solution to this “Where is Jason ?” problem.

Well, this was the last solution.

The most logical and obvious one, to Damian’s little six years old eyes.

Nobody seemed to want to tell him where Jason went, even after two full weeks now ! And Damian looked EVERYWHERE for his brother.

Now, Jason has always been the best at “hide and seek”.

It was easy to find Dick, he always used his acrobat background to find the least likely places to hid in...Which made it the most obvious of places to look in, all you had to do, is look in places normal people couldn’t access, and you’d find Dick ! But Jason...Jason was a true master of the art. He always managed to find the best hidden places !

But he never stayed hidden for that long ! The most he went on was about two hours, and then he got tired of waiting and went to eat some cookies in the kitchen, which is where Damian finally found him !

So if Jason wasn’t in school, if he didn’t have his own Titans, if he wasn’t playing hide and seek...Then there was only one place left where he could be !

The infamous and scary “Pond”.

Both Jason and Dick warned Damian multiple time to not go near it, telling him a monster lived in it so he would keep away.

Of course, the monster story was a lie. A white one. So they’d keep their baby brother safe. Because that pond was rather treacherous. Even if you were a good swimmer, falling in it, with all the water weed at the bottom, could become fatal rather quickly.

And so the “Pond Monster” was born. Damian was truly terrified of it, which sometimes made his brothers feel guilty that they invented such a terrifying cryptid. But at the same time, anything to keep him out of danger.

But today, as the boy thought this was the last place his brother could be, and that maybe the Pond Monster had him, Damian didn’t feel fear.

On the contrary, he felt rather resolved. And here he was, six years old Damian, slipping away discreetly in the garden, as everyone in the house was too busy and weighted down by their pain to notice...

He approached the water slowly, carefully. He wasn’t about to get snatch easily like that by the monster. Picking a stick from the floor, Damian walked to the pond with wary steps, ready to fight.

Only the thought that maybe Jason was there kept him going.

Hey, maybe that’s why nobody was really telling him where Jason was ? Because the Pond Monster was holding him prisoner and they were all afraid it’d take Damian too ?

“M’not ‘fraid !”

Damian yelled at the pond, letting the monster know he was, indeed, not afraid. Or maybe, trying to convince himself.

And here he was, near the murky water. He looked at it, and waited for a few minutes. Waited for the monster. But it never came, so he said :

“If you have my brother, you have to let him go now.”

Silence.

“Please ?”

Silence. Damian hits the water with his stick.

“We can trade, you take me and you let Zayson go ?”

Damian knew that Jason would never let the monster take him, and intended to trick it so he would let Jason free enough so they could both escape !

But the pond desperately stayed silent. And the boy now found himself wishing that monster was real. He approached the water even more, and bend above it.

He couldn’t see anything, and so he walked closer still, and then...

There was a reason, both Dick and Jason made sure that their little brother would never come near that pond. In fact, Bruce planned to take it out years ago but never quite got to it...

The sides were directly quite deep, for a pond. Deep enough for a small six years old boy to...

“Woaaaah !”

Damian slipped, and fell right in the water.

First, before he could even struggle to stay above the water, he felt the cold of it. New Jersey, that time of the year, was cold and unforgiving...

And as Damian’s adrenaline kicked in, making him unaware of the cold, he started to struggle. But the long grass filling the pond were already tangling around him, dragging him down and down, as if they had a mind of their own.

Damian knew how to swim, he learned fast, as his father was truly terrified anything would happen to his kids...But the panic made the boy get tangled even more in those thick grass, and his little six years old body couldn’t win.

He couldn’t win.

His head was beneath the water now, and everything was dark and cold. He cold feel the bottom of the pond, and he could see he wasn’t that much shorter than the depth of it...But the thick water grass wouldn’t let go of him, and he couldn’t reach the surface that was oh so close. It felt that the more he struggled, the more he got tangled.

And it was cold. So cold.

“Damian...”

Jason ? Was that Jason ? Damian could recognize his brother’s voice anywhere.

“Damian what are you doing here ?”

It was cold, and he couldn’t breathe anymore.

“Damian, you’re not supposed to be here. You have to go Damian, you have to go, you hear me ?”

The boy wasn’t quite sure anymore, but he thought he saw the silhouette of a man next to him, helping him out of the water and...Jason ! This was really Jason’s voice ! Jason was saving him !

Probably because of the water, Damian felt like there were two people with him. One that was trying to lift him up above water, and a sort of brighter one, who was slowly fading now...Doesn’t matter.

Jason was saving him.

He knew it, Damian knew Jason would never leave him alone.

Everything was cold and dark, but he felt warm arms get a hold of him, drag him out of the water.

“Good. Good. Go Damian, go. And I don’t want to see you up until you’re very, very, very old...”

The boy did not understand those last few words. Wasn’t even sure he heard them. All of a sudden, he was out of the water, coughing and trembling. And someone was wrapping a warm hoodie around him, trying to get him warm.

“You have to be careful buddy, you have to be careful !”

This wasn’t Jason’s voice.

The water slowly clearing out of his vision, Damian looked at whoever saved him and...

It was the one from yesterday.

Tim.

He was wearing a t-shirt, and was soaked, his hair sticking on his forehead. And he was desperately trying to keep the little boy warm, enveloping him carefully in his own hoodie and coat, that he must’ve taken off before jumping in the pond to rescue Damian. Tim’s own lips were blue, but he didn’t seem to care.

“Are you ok ? Are you ok ? We have to get back you back to the manor, to where it’s warm ok ? I’m going to carry you ok ? Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you I just want to-”

“What happened here ?!”

Damian was still not really sure what was happening, still a bit numbed from the cold water and the fear and...Was it really Jason he heard ?

His little six years old mind couldn’t understand everything, right now. Except that the one who asked what was happening was his dad.

And indeed, as Damian turned to the voice...

“Oh my God what happened ?!”

“I’m sorry sir, I know you told me you didn’t want any help or another Robin or anything but I was um...In your forrest by accident- yes that’s it, by accident-, when I saw your son going straight to that pond and then he fell and-”

A large hand on his shoulder is what stopped Tim’s anxious rant. And Bruce’s kind and understanding eyes what made him feel safe.

“It’s alright boy, come on in tell me all about it around a cup of hot cocoa.”

It didn’t take a genius to gather that Tim had just saved Damian. Taking his own coat off, Bruce put it around Tim’s shoulders, and picked up his youngest son his arms.

“You’re okay to walk ?”

“Yes sir, yes I am.”

“Tough little one.”

Bruce smiled at Tim, trying to reassure him. It was clear the boy had adrenaline rushing through his veins and his heart was still beating fast, unable to quite catch whatever happened there...

Bruce knew. Bruce knew what happened. And it chilled him to the bones.

He couldn’t send Tim away again, not after what the boy just did.

************

Some fresh warm clothes and a cup of hot cocoa later...

What Damian said that day, and what Tim told Bruce, froze the Batman’s blood in his veins.

What if Tim hadn’t been so stubborn, not wanting to give up helping Batman, and Damian would’ve...he would’ve...

It was time now.

Not knowing where his brother went almost cost him his life, that’s how the little one desperately wanted to find Jason back.

It was time now.

Bruce had to tell him. He had to...

The day he understood what “Death” meant.

"Damian, buddy, I have to...I have to show you something.”

Comfortably wrapped in a blanket, little Burrito Damian turned to his father and...was shocked by how serious, tired, sad and old he looked.

Sure, his dad haven’t been the same much lately. Since Jason left. But he also was a little quieter when he let Dick go join the Titans, so Damian didn’t worry too much !

Except right now, it’s as if he truly didn’t recognized his dad. Like it was another man in front of him, who was broken.

When Bruce would look at Damian, at any of his children really, there was always a spark in his eyes. A spark, that was nowhere to be seen right now.

Which worried the little boy.

Bruce turned to Tim, and said :

“Chum, would you mind waiting for us here ? I have to...To...”

“It’s ok Mr. Wayne, I know. I will go home and-”

“Please no. Wait here, there is...There is probably some old clothes that belonged to Dick or...Or Jason, somewhere in the house. Dry clothes. Alfred will take care of things. Finish your cocoa, I will be back and we can...We can talk about Robin. If you’d like.”

Tim’s eyes brightened and opened wide, he excitedly shook his head and said :

“I’d love that sir !”

The pure joy radiating from the boy made Bruce’s heart feel a little warmer, and gave him the last push of bravery he needed to take his youngest son...There.

To take Damian to Jason’s grave.

After asking Alfred to take care of Tim, Bruce took Damian outside again, in the back garden. So deep in the estate, Damian actually realized he never went there.

Holding his father’s hand, the boy stayed silent as he walked along side his dad, walked...Somewhere.

Damian had a bad feeling about this, he didn’t like how wet his father’s eyes were, and how serious he looked. He asked :

“Where are we going daddy ?”

“I have things to explain to you.”

“What things ?”

“Where...Where Jason went.”

“It’s ok, it’s ok, we can wait tomorrow ?”

All of a sudden, Damian didn’t want to know where Jason was. A scary and uneasy feeling he couldn’t quite pinpoint as he never felt it before was creeping his way in his heart, and he was suddenly taken over by a fear of what was waiting for them beyond the woods at the back of Wayne’s garden.

Damian didn’t even know their backyard was so big. He always assumed the forrest was the end of it, but no. No. The forrest was part of it. And beyond the woods laid...

Two weirdly carved stones ?

Damian didn’t like this place. He didn’t like it at all.

“Where is Zayson ?”

He asked, worried, wishing very hard his older brother would pop out from behind one of the stone and everything was just a prank.

“He’s...He’s there.”

Bruce pointed at one of the stone, and Damian didn’t understand.

“Where ?”

“Under.”

“Under ? Why ?”

Bruce realized this was a mistake. How the hell will he explain what happened ? Why didn’t he do it sooner ? Why ? Why why why ? He wished Dick and Alfred would be here. But deep down, Bruce knew this was something he had to do on his own.

That he owned that much to his son.

“Why is he under there, daddy ?”

“He’s..He’s sleeping.”

No. No this was wrong. Don’t give the boy false hope. Tell him right away why his brother is buried three feet under...

“Well, when will he wake up then ? Is it weally safe for him to sleep under the gwound ?”

“He won’t wake up Damian. He...He’s...”

Say it Bruce. Say it. You have to. Don’t beat around the bushes. Tell him. Don’t let him think there’s a chance for him to ever see his beloved brother again.

Say it. Say it. Say it.

Bruce had to gather all his will, courage and strength to finally say it :

“He’s dead, son. Jason is dead.”

It took a little bit for Damian to start to understand what this meant.

A little bit for the boy to have sudden flashbacks of Simba’s dad, in “The Lion King”, whom Dick said was “sleeping”. Of why Nemo’s mom wasn’t around after that scary fish attacked. Or why Little Feet had to cross the Land Before Time all alone, without his mama. Why Bing Bong, in “Inside Out”, disappeared. What happened to the Iron Giant...

For him to remember Harry Potter’s parents, who were “killed” by Voldemort. For the first time, he slowly understood what it truly meant. Harry Potter never saw his parents, except when they were...ghosts ? But they were gone.

Harry Potter’s parents were gone. He couldn’t see them. Ever. They were in a place no one alive could go.

And all of a sudden, he realizes that both his brother’s real parents were “gone”. Somewhere no one could follow them. Somewhere they would never see them again. Somewhere that would sometimes make Dick and Jason sad, because they couldn’t see them ever again.

For the boy to realize his dad’s parents too, left and were...Dead.

Which is why he never met his grandparents. And why his dad was Batman. And why-

“No.”

Damian heard himself say. His little six years old brain refusing to accept that his brother was like Simba’s dad, like Bing Bong, or like...like...

“Damian, yo-”

“No !”

Damian walked to where his dad said Jason was buried, and although he couldn’t quite read yet, he recognized the name “Jason” being written on the stone. His brother taught him how to write it, because the boy drew a lot of things for him and he wanted to address it to him properly...

“Lies ! LIES !!”

Damian screamed, trying to scratch away the name carved deep in the stone.

“Zayson is not dead, he’s not dead ! He would never leave me ! He said so !”

“Damian-”

“Lies daddy, lies ! You’re lying, it’s not nice to lie !!”

Damian kept screaming, tears slowly welling up in his eyes. His little finger tips where starting to get bloody, as he tried to erase his brother’s name off of this damn “grave”...

“Damian, son, ca-”

“ZAYSON IS NOT UNDER THERE ! HE’S NOT ! HE’S NOT ! HE’S NOT !! He’ll come back Daddy, he will ! We have to take the stone away daddy, or he’ll think we forgot him !”

Blood was tinting the cold marble of the tomb now. And Bruce quickly grabbed a hold of his boy but...

Kids were so squirmy.

That’s one of the first lesson Bruce ever learned, when Damian was still a baby and it was such a struggle to put his clothes on, or to change a diaper, as he would squirm all around joyfully.

Except now, far were the times when Dick and/or Jason would mock him because Damian caught a tuff of his hair and wouldn’t let go, far were the funny moments and laughters as baby Damian literally peed on him more than once, making his older sons laugh too much...

Now, Damian was squirming away from his grasp, crying, screaming...

Heart broken.

“No daddy, no !!”

There was a time too, when Damian would say that. Whenever Bruce would scold Dick, for example. Damian would hug his brother tightly, and, barely speaking a few words, would yell at Bruce : “No dadda, no !”, scolding him in turn because no one was allowed to “yell” at his big brother.

But now, now Damian wasn’t hugging Dick. Wasn’t clinging cutely to his brother. Instead, he had latched his arms and legs around Jason’s grave as best he could, and was now screaming :

“We can’t leave him here daddy, we can’t leave him alone ! He’s so far fwom us daddy, he doesn’t like it when he’s alone ! You know it, you know it. Zayson hates to be alone, pwease daddy pwease ! We have to bwing him back with us ! He’s ok, he’s ok he’s waiting for us to take him home ! Pwease daddy ! Pwease !”

Tears were running down the boy’s face now. Down Bruce’s face, too, as he tried to unlatch his son from around the tomb...

“Noooooo ! Noooo ! No no no !! Let go ! Let go ! Zayson !! Zayson !! JASSSONNNNNNNNNNN !!!!!!”

Damian kicked and screamed and cried all the way back to the manor. Kicked Bruce for taking him away from Jason. Screamed that they couldn’t leave him. Cried because he finally understood...

He finally understood what death meant.

Robin’s Training.

From that day, and although he never cared for it, Damian demanded to be trained like his brothers were.

Stubborn as ever, he would literally harass his father

And in many ways, the resolution of his little six years old boy, is what made Bruce open his eyes about young Timothy Drake.

Both of them wanted to be Robin. One to help, the other because of his brother’s death...

Damian decided “Robins again”, and Bruce complied.

Although, he started to train Damian making it clear that the boy was under no circumstances going to leave as Robin before he reached the age of 10/11 at least.

Damian agreed, and that’s how him and Tim started to train under the tutelage of The batman...

“You’re my brother now.”

Tim wasn’t like Dick, who wanted to make sense of his parents’ death.

Or like Jason, who never had anyone to care for him and who had to make sense of his own life.

Or even like Damian, destined to become a “Robin” because of who his father is, but also because of who his mother is.

Tim didn’t have any personal motive.

He still had his parents, he was from a rather wealthy family, he...He was just a kid, who was a huge Batman fan, and who wanted to help.

That’s what Tim was to the core, a highly intelligent child who just wanted to help. And that’s what he did.

He listened to Bruce, became good at fighting, an expert in tactics, and took a completely renewed Robin mantel...

He would go every night back to his parents’ house, where they’d barely acknowledge his existence. How ? How can such a lack of care and love create such a selfless boy ? Bruce didn’t know, but he was proud. And was it bad, that he started to see little Timothy as his own son ?

The boy would spend most days with him anyway now. With him, and with Damian.

Which was important. Tim had become the only one who managed to make Damian laugh, at this time. As expected, the boy and his discovery of what death truly was changed him...But Tim. Tim, he could bring back the Damian Bruce and Dick knew.

Additionally, them being rather competitive, they would bicker often, which would take Damian’s mind off of his pain.

Damian never bickered with Dick nor Jason. But he bickered a lot with Tim. Closer in age, maybe. They came to quickly care for each others, and were acting like brothers before becoming officially ones.

Some could think that the shock of losing his older Brother Jason would make Damian not want a new brother, not want a “replacement”...But Tim and Jason were so different, Tim was definitely not a replacement. And it didn’t feel right to Damian anymore, to not have two older brothers..

Tim became part of the family before he was adopted. Before his parents died.

And when a tragedy occurred, as it often happened in Gotham. When Tim lost his parents...Bruce and his family were ready to welcome him.

Bruce knew he’d never replace Tim’s real parents, no matter how bad and careless they were, and such. Yet...Yet when Tim stepped foot in the Manor, and had his own bedroom in it, and saw the official adoption papers...

Tim became Robin because he wanted to help.

He became part of the family because he was always here to help, to care, to love.

“You’re my brother now.”

Damian simply stated, but with a lot of emotions in his voice, hugging him as a way of giving him his condolences, and officially invite him in the house...

“You’re my brother now.”

A simple sentence, a heartfelt one full of promises of never letting one another down.

Yes. Yes. Tim Drake went from “only child” to brother of two.

The Mastermind behind the Cookie’ rapt.

Lighter days occurred, after this. Jason’s disappearance would forever leave a hole in their heart, of course, but they were all ready to

“Ok agent Damdam, are everything in order ?”

“Yes agent Tim, it is !”

“Codename agent Damdam !”

“Oh, sorry. Yes agent TOm, it is !”

“Good. Now, it’s time to put everything in action.”

Tim became a permanent member of the Wayne family very easily. He fitted right in.

He LOVED Dick and was a huge fan of his Robin, and as a child, of the “Flying Graysons”. And now, he got to be his little brother and they would get along very well. Dick was living in Bludhäven now, but would often come by.

And with Damian ? Well, he didn’t have that many years of difference with his brother, and although they bickered often, they also got along very easily.

Especially when it was about organizing stealth mission to steal cookies after dinner...

Alfred pretended he didn’t notice, and would always refill the cookie jar to make sure those little secret agent “DamDam” and “TOm” had a way to bond further, and something to steal.

Is a sister different than a brother ?

Cass came in soon after Tim did. About six months after. Bruce knew of her prior to her being adopted of course, or rather, he knew about her parents.

He knew what kind of life she lead. He knew how lonely, painful and...Of course, Bruce couldn’t leave her alone. Couldn’t leave her at her father’s mercy. Couldn’t let her stay a weapon.

They knew each other for a while, when Bruce asked her if she wanted to change, to get better, to break free of the chains her parents forged for her.

In Cass, Bruce saw a lot what Damian could’ve become. And there was no way he wouldn’t try to save her, if she was willing to be saved.

And she was. She was.

And in due time, after many adventures on her own and as a spy for Bruce...She was officially adopted. Just like all his other kids,

By that point, Damian was used to have new siblings, but he was a little worried...

Is a sister different than a Brother ?

No. Damian came to that conclusion very quickly. He loved Cass the same way he loved his brothers. She was important to him, and he wanted to be around her when he felt sad.

In fact, Cass became his shield against “Jason Blues”. That’s how he would come to call it one day. The very specific sadness little Damian felt when he was enjoying something, and wanted to go to Jason because he’d be sure he would enjoy it too...

Jason was always the fun, and funny brother. The one that would let Damian do anything to him, including the times Damian was being a little rough or obnoxious. Jason never said “no” to playing with Damian, like Dick would sometimes do (see previous chapter for more details about all this).

And even if Jason didn’t have any interest in whatever Damian wanted to do, he’d say “sure buddy”, and would play with him nonetheless. Tim wouldn’t do that either, they were close of course, and had a lot of common interest, but neither Tim nor Dick would just let Damian do whatever he wanted. At least, not all the time. Of course, they would often let him chose...

And so when something happened that Damian really wanted to share with Jason, only to realize that his brother was gone (he’d forget sometimes, that’s how surreal this felt), he would go to Cass.

Because Cass had a knack to be soothing. To find the right words, to...Maybe it was because she didn’t speak much ? Because she never had to and was taught to never feel ? Maybe that’s why, she always found the exact right short few words to cheer her little brother up again.

Wether it was a simple “love you”, or “believe in you”, or even “will always be in your heart” (the longest sentence she ever pronounced at the time), she just knew what to say. What to do.

Cass was extremely touched starved. Her father, of course, wanting an emotionless perfect weapon, would never touch her for anything else than to hurt her. And when Bruce gave her his first hug, she realized...She needed it.

It made her feel better, made her feel safe and warm.

And so she wouldn’t shy away from hugging her little brother, wether in public or not, when she felt he was sad.

Sometimes, he wouldn’t even had anything to say. She’d just know.

She’d tell him what he needed to hear, hug him, and be there as much as she could, trying to fill the void Jason left behind.

« I’m learning how to read Cass ! »

« Hello Cass ! Cass ! Cass ! Caaaass ! »

Damian was six. And the school year just started. And clearly, something very exciting happened at school, today.

And that exciting thing was...

“Cass, I’m learning how to read Cass, I’m learning how to read ! I can read you bed time stories now if you want ?”

Tim was the one in charged of bed time stories, as Dick lived in Bludhäven now. And neither Damian nor Cass knew how to read.

Cass being heavily dyslexic, she was slower in learning it, and would often become frustrated...Only with Bruce, would she make progress, as he was patient, forgiving, and wasn’t about to give up on her. Ever.

It touched Cass, that the first thought Damian had, as he was about to learn how to read, was that now, he too would be able to read her bed time stories.

Cass loved bed time stories. Many would say she was too old for them now, but she missed out on an entire childhood. She never had anyone tell her stories. So now, she had to catch up.

“Look, I brought my first book from the school’s library.”

Damian showed her, excitement overwhelming him a bit as he wasn’t able to stand still, and kept jumping from one foot to the other. Cass took the book, and opened it.

It was one of those stories that had very few words, and big images. Perfect to begin. Struggling, she managed to read the three first words, and when she turned to Damian...There were stars in his eyes.

“Wooow you read so well already ! Hey, what if we learn together ? It’s funner right ? Right ? Right ? I bet dad would say yes, what about you Cass, you wanna learn with me ? Uh ?”

It was adorable, how excited Damian was. Cass couldn’t help but think about what Bruce told her once, how his life could’ve been completely different, if he had stayed with the Al Ghuls...

Would he be as excited to learn how to read ? As impressed she managed to read three words ? Would he be that happy over those small things ?

Knowing her own experience, and how similar it was to what Ras had in mind for the boy...she knew that no, no he’d probably be an entire different child.

But hey, right now, her little brother’s excitement was quickly spreading to her. Proof that even children with broken childhood such as her, had a chance to change. To have a redemption arc.

And so here they sat, the both of them, trying to read this new book Damian brought, congratulating and praising each others, and being happy about small things they could’ve never noticed if Bruce hadn’t taken them away from a certain way of life...

Not that everything was perfect with Bruce. He had many flaws. But at least, he never did anything to stop them from having fun, or enjoying childish things. He never forced them to do anything they did not want to do. He never...

Bruce had many flaws, but they would never want any other father.

The Red Hood.

Two years after Cass was adopted, Damian was eight now and things were good. Well. Except for...

Bruce didn’t want to believe it, but now, faced with him, he had to admit it.

There was no doubt in his mind, that this was...this was...

Unfocused, unable to fight properly against him, he took a bad right hook to the face, which broke one of his mask’s lens.

Jason.

The way he moved, the way he fought.

This was Jason.

He was sure.

He’d have his suspicion for a while now, seeing videos of the infamous “Red Hood”, and encountering him a few times.

The man seemed to have a personal vendetta against The Batman, and now, Bruce knew why.

Jason. It was Jason.

And Bruce found himself unable to fight him properly. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t hurt his own son...Especially since he himself, thought he deserved all the punches and kick Jason was giving him.

After all, it was his fault if the boy died..

Years of guilt weighted Bruce down. And he let Jason give him the beating of his life...

“Defend yourself old man ! Don’t humiliate me by doing nothing, come on, defend yourself or I’ll-”

“ZAYSON !!”

Jason froze, as he was about to punch Bruce, and turned around. What...What was he doing here ?!

“Zayson Zayson !!”

The little boy, down there, kept yelling his name, and suddenly, Jason felt his heart beat faster. Felt his heart start again. All the memories...All the memories...

Bruce looked at his son, in Dick’s arms, and understood immediately what happened.

Dick knew his brother. He knew him very well. And he knew that seeing their youngest sibling would awaken something in him. It seemed like it worked, as Jason’s eyes filled with tears, and he let go of Bruce.

“Damian...”

Jason fell to his knees, and Dick put Damian on the floor. The little boy didn’t waste a second, he ran to his big brother, screaming excitedly “Zayson !!” along the way. He jumped into his brother’s opened arms, and started to cry-giggle uncontrollably.

“Zayson, I knew you wou’d come back ! I knew I said to Dad but he said you wou’dn’t but you did Zayson ! You did ! You’re back !”

Tears were running down the face of the little boy, tears of joy. And that giggle Jason sometimes heard, in his darkest moment, reminding him he was still human, still there...Jason’s hold on his little brother tightened, as the boy couldn’t stop his rambling about how he always knew he’d come back.

The Memories that saved him.

He could feel the warm tears of happiness from his little brother warming his cheek, as the boy held onto him.

He was taller than last time he saw him. Of course.

Not much taller, but still, he had a little growth spur, in those two years.

He was eight now. eight…Just a little younger than Jason was when Bruce adopted him…

And suddenly, a surge of memory came back to him. From that first day he met little 3 years old Damian, to his death…

“Hewwo Zayson”, the boy would say every morning, jumping on his bed to wake him up, bright smile and giggles. When he was three, he always struggled to climb onto the bed, and it would take him a hot minute to do so. Jason would pretend he was still asleep, as the boy would finally jump up and say “Hewwo Zayson !”. Over the years, Damian learned how to properly pronounced “Jason”, but just like “Fafred” those cute childish mispronunciation just stuck...And so, the boy was maybe able to talk properly and climb his brother’s bed more easily, he’d still say “Zayson” each times.

“I drew you Zayson !”, he’d say excitedly, already showing incredible skills and talent at art, regularly giving drawings as gifts to Jay. Jason’s bedroom’s walls could be a “Damian Wayne’s art gallery”.

“Catch me Zayson, catch me !”, he’d say, running around the manor or the Batcave, and Jason would pretend that he was too fast for him.

“Zayson, it hurts !”, he’d cry after a fall, and Jason would give him a magic kiss that’d make everything feel better, and a hug. Then he’d make him laugh, and Damian would forget all about his pain.

Flashes of memories, one after another. Birthdays in his family, finally loved and home. Making the pain of feeling betrayed by Bruce who did not avenge him even stronger...Yet this hurt couldn’t taint everything.

It couldn’t taint Damian’s smiles. It couldn’t taint how the boy absolutely adored his big brother Jason. It couldn’t taint being woken up every day by giggles and a mischievous smile. It couldn’t taint years of trying to be the best older brother, to such a sweet boy as Damian.

It couldn’t taint Dick’s teasing. It couldn’t taint how much his older brother worried for him, and told him to be careful when Jason didn’t take things too seriously. It couldn’t taint the nights of fear, being comforted by his older brother, just like Jason would comfort Damian...It couldn’t taint those nights feeling safe and warm, home, knowing his brothers were there.

And it couldn’t taint Bruce’s pride and love for him. It couldn't taint all the moments the man praised him, took care of him when he was hurt (both mentally and physically), gave him this new home and clearly tried to...tried to...

It couldn’t taint how Bruce truly cared...But if he did, why didn’t he kill the Joker ? Why didn’t he do it ? For him ? Just for him ? Maybe...Maybe there was a valid reason ? Maybe...

And it’s those precious untainted memories that made him hug his little brother back. That made him

Talia did it for them.

“I know you did it.”

He says, as if talking to no one in particular.

But then, out of the shadow, a figure appears.

The figure of a woman.

Talia.

Bruce turns to her, but she doesn’t look at him. Instead, she says :

“I did it for him. For Damian. And for you, too. But...”

“But it didn’t go as you planned.”

“No. It didn’t. He stood up from that pit lost and confused, and with no memories of who he was. And when he finally got them back...”

“Is that why you did not tell me what you did ?”

“Yes.”

“How long ?”

“Right after you buried him. We took him with us, to a Lazarus pit.”

“Was it his idea ?”

“Ras ?”

“Yes.”

“No. It was mine. I did it for Damian. And for you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me anything ? For two years ?”

“He lost his memory. I was afraid the shock...He didn’t know who he was. He was not your son anymore.”

“What did you do to him, then ?”

Silence.

“Talia, what did you do to my son ?”

“What would’ve happened to Damian if you didn’t take him...”

“What did you do ?”

“Ras turned him into his personal weapon. Jason was trained already, his brain remembered fighting, but his heart couldn’t remember his life.”

“For two years ?”

“A little less. He-he got hurt on a mission. Hurt pretty bad. And he-”

“He remembered.”

“Yes.”

“Four months ago ? When Red Hood appeared in Gotham ?”

“Yes.”

There’s a long silence, as Bruce tries to process those new informations.

So, Talia was the one to bring his son back. And she did it for Damian, for him. But things didn’t go as planned. Jason couldn’t remember, and Ras got a hold of him...Up until...

Up until a few months ago, when a shock brought back the trauma. The memories. And Jason came back to Gotham.

Jason came back home, only to realize the Joker was still alive. That Bruce didn’t kill him. Not even for him...And so Red Hood was born.

Bruce’s jaw clenches, as he feels a surge of pain. How much more was this boy going to endure ? Once again, the Batman was reminded of how important his children were in his life. Of how Damian changed his all world.

And changed Jason’s. How long would’ve Jason fight ? Would he have hit Bruce, that night ? If Damian didn’t arrive, what would’ve happened ? More and more anger, hate, frustration, pain and sadness ?

Bruce knew Jason didn’t forgive him yet, and only calmed down because of Damian (and Dick). And the Batman was determined to make amend. Amend that would start with a...

“Thank you.”

Bruce could not be mad at Talia. He could see that her intentions were good. That she really did this for Damian and for him. That she cared. That she loved them. But unfortunately, what kept them separated all those years ago was still the reason they couldn’t be together now.

Talia couldn’t break free from her father’s grasp. At least, not yet. But at the same time, didn’t she let Bruce take Damian and give him a better life ? Didn’t she use her father’s precious Lazarus pit to bring Jason back ? And wasn’t she here, right now, telling him the truth ?

There was still some good in Talia, and Bruce would never give up on it. But for now...For now, just like 9 years ago, she wasn’t ready to let go of her father’s legacy. Of her upbringing.

And so Bruce, without a look back, jumped away in the night, disappearing in the darkness.

“Thank you.”

Were the last words he said that night, and Talia watched him go, her heart heavy and wishing things...Wishing she had Damian’s chance when she was a baby, and that someone would’ve taken her away from Ras Al’Ghul.

Home Again.

Jason wasn’t ready.

No. He wasn’t ready to forgive Bruce yet. He wasn’t ready to call him “dad” again. He wasn’t ready to come back to the Manor.

He wasn’t ready.

The pain and anger was too fresh.

“You started to train him ? Him, Bruce ?! And you took a new Robin ?!”

“Before you get mad at me for this too, please listen to me. Your brother...After you died, and after he understood what happened to you, there was no way of keeping him away from this. You saw how I tried to have him have as little to do with Batman affairs as possible. I never trained him, I never...The only reason he hung out in the cave was because we were there, and it was better than a nanny. Clearly. You know how he hated being away from us. But I never, I can assure you Jason, I never intended for him to want to be Robin. It’s just...You died, and there was no trying to convince him to not want to be. As for Tim, it just happened. He’s a wonderful little boy who just wanted to help and...I’m not gonna let what happened to you happen again. I didn’t let them go out there right away, I trained them for years first. I told Cass. I told her.”

There’s a silence, where Jason looks around to his siblings (he somehow gained two, in his absence). He wanted to talk more about how wrong it was to have another Robin, to train Damian to...Instead he said :

“I still haven’t forgiven you. You have a lot to answer for.”

“I know.”

“I’m just here for Damian.”

“I know.”

“And for Dick.”

“I know.”

“I’m just here because I couldn’t beat your ass in front of them.”

“I know.”

“Don’t push your luck though.”

“I won’t.”

“Right. Well then. I’m off for now, I have things to do and-”

Damian grabbed Jason’s sleeves, panicked.

“You’re not leaving now, are you ??”

The boy didn’t care at all, wether Jason was “Red Hood” or not, wether he killed many criminels, wether...

“We’re watching Harry Potter, yes ?”

They used to watch Harry Potter a lot, when he was still alive. When he...

“You’re staying right ? And meet Tim and Cass more ? They’re your brother and sister, too.”

Brother ? Sister ? New ones ?

Jason wanted to leave. He didn’t want Damian to know how much he still loathed their father. But...But deep down, he knew he didn’t hate Bruce. He was just...So hurt. Hurt it didn’t seem he mattered enough to...

“Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix ? Your favorite ? Yes ? And with cookies from Alfred !”

Jason had never been able to resist his little brother. Today wasn’t an exception...And so he stayed.

He ended up staying all night, marathoning Harry Potter movies. He ended up picking Damian up, and going to put him in his bed, tucking him in, as he did often years ago.

He didn’t talk to Bruce, but he stayed. He stayed, and met his new brother and sister. He stayed because of Dick. Because of Damian. Because of Alfred. Definitely not because of Bruce...

He stayed. And ended up crashing in his old bedroom, which didn’t change one bit. And for the first time in those two frightening, scary and painful years...

He felt home.

************

When Damian woke up, he was suddenly overcame with the fear that his brother might not be here anymore ! That him not being dead was just a beautiful, beautiful dream.

So, just like he did 3 years ago now, he jumped out of his bed, and the first thing he did was to run to Jason’s room.

The way was longer now. After Jay’s death, they all decided to move in the East Wing, and the West wing became sort of abandoned. In the end, only Alfred would go there to keep the place up. Sometimes, Bruce would silently go to Jason’s room, left untouched since he died, and it would be so painful...

The West Wing was pretty much abandoned. Jason’s absence resonated too much, in it.

And so, as Damian jumped out of his bed, he had to cross the entire manor to go to Jason’s bedroom, who kept the one he used to have.

But last night was nice. It felt nice, to be with his brothers (and sister too, now !). It felt...it felt...It felt like home.

This time also allowed him to get more acquainted with both Tim and Cass, and it was clear from that point on, the three of them would become just as close as Jason was with Dick and Damian.

Jason’s “big brother instincts” had always been rather developed.

But anyway, Damian was finally reaching his room and...He stopped in front of it. What if, just like it happened three years ago, he’d open the door to find the room empty.

The bed still made.

As if Jason never came back. As if Jason would never come back.

What if indeed, them being reunited and all this Red Hood business was just a dream ?

What if...

The bedroom’s door open, letting some light in the dark corridor, and a silhouette appears in its frame.

“Oh hey little bugger, thought I heard your footsteps closing in. What’re you doing up so early ? And what are you standing there without-”

Before Jason could finish his sentence, Damian had jumped in his arms.

This wasn’t a dream ! This wasn’t a dream !

Jason was really back !

He was taller, had an odd white streak in his hair, and was more of a man now, than the teen Damian remembered, but his brother was back !

He truly was !

Now, now his family was full again. There wasn’t a huge gap in their lives. A taboo subject no one ever talked about in fear of hurting their family.

Jason’s name was rarely uttered, in the Wayne’s household. For Bruce, Alfred, Dick and Damian, it was too painful. For Tim and Cass, it was the constant fear of bringing up too many bad memories.

But it was fine now, he could say his name, they could joke about how he had trouble pronouncing it and “Zayson” seemed to have stuck even now. They could try to mend the pieces of their heart now, they could really try.

The family was bigger than when Jason left, but it only made his return stronger ! Or at least, that’s how Damian viewed it.

And so here he was, clinging to him.

**********

A little while later, Jason walked down to the kitchen to have breakfast, holding Damian in his arms, who just refused to let go.

The kitchen was empty, but for Bruce, who was eating ice cream straight out of the tub. Talk about a breakfast...

“Are you pregnant ?”

Bruce rolled his eyes, but took two more spoons to give to his sons. Jason sat Damian on the counter, and sat a seat away from his dad, stealing the ice scream tub from him.

The road would be long, before Jason could even begin to forgive his dad...But Bruce was hopeful. He was hopeful that Jason would understand.

His son had always been understanding, forgiving and empathic. Always.

Maybe that’s why the pain of thinking Bruce didn’t care was so grand ? Probably. But Bruce was determined to fix things. He was.

The road would be long, but as Bruce looked at his sons smiling and talking about things as if Jason was never gone, Bruce was hopeful.

Even if his boy would never forgive him, at least...At least his kids were reunited.

************

Final Crisis.

Jason was back.

The family was full again.

The siblings were as close as ever. It wasn’t always easy, and there were fights and misunderstanding and bickering...But even if just like any other family, they had their little differences, things were good. Really good.

Bruce was a proud father, and trusted them enough that he left Dick in charge of taking care of Gotham, as important matters called him elsewhere and...

That’s when it happened.

They received a call from the Justice League Watchtower. From Superman. And what he had to say

“I-...I don’t know how to say this guys. I-Your father he-I...Your father is gone.”

To be continued..

__________________________________________________

I hope you liked it, see you soon with the final part, and don’t hesitate to leave some feedback and to reblog, it’s always beyond appreciated <3.Ok phew, it’s 2 am, off to bed. Sorry for any horrible typo or if it’s not great.

Before I get any question about this, YES, of course Steph and Duke will appear too ! Oh and Babs DUH ! (She was actually supposed to appear earlier but I ended up scratching the idea as it felt out of place in this chapter). They will all appear in the final part, as this took way longer than I initially thought ^^' and I wanna write all of them right (and not just write two paragraph because I fear it’s getting too long and wanna cut to the chase, know what I mean ?). For both Babs and Steph I’ll use flashbacks to talk about how they’ve been in the Bats family for a while, I just really didn’t know how to fit them there right now, it didn’t fit the mood, and for Duke, well he does appear quite late in the Bats stories as he’s a fairly new character so it fits there). By the way, if you have any questions about ages and such in this fic, the explanation is at the end of chapter 1, I went into details about everything.

PS : for people not really reading comics very quickly : in Final Crisis Bruce is rumored dead (he obviously comes back later...with a new costume hahahaha). It’s personally not one of my favorite run, but I do like Dick as Batman and his relationship to Damian is interesting. Now obviously here there’s a MASSIVE change, since Damian normally comes in Bruce’s life not long before his “death”. So I’ll talk about this in the next chapter hehe. More Talia too. Anyway I was saying, Final Crisis and whatever happens in New 52 afterward and all = really not my fav. However, that’s when Duke appears and co (fairly new character, 2014 eh) so if we want him in, we have to go through some events from New 52 and co I guess....ANYWAY HERE WE ARE. Finally coming to an age we first truly discovered Damian hehe, when he was around 10 :). That’s when the true differences begin.

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septembercfawkes · 4 years

Text

Save the Cat! Explained: The End

With the beginning and the middle covered, it's time to finish up, with the end of the Save the Cat! story structure.

Break into Three (85)

After the hero is at his lowest low, he eventually comes to a realization--which came from the B story, from the conversations and experiences there, as well as from his last best attempt to defeat the bad guys.

Both the A story and the B story seem to meet and intertwine ("synthesize" as Snyder likes to call it), bringing forth a solution that the hero now needs to apply.

A great thing that can happen at this moment, is that the epiphany may actually solve the problems of both plotlines.

This moment breaks us into Act III, the end.

In Spider-verse

As Miles sits tied up, what he's heard and learned from his experiences (including those of the B story with Peter) come together. He has deep personal insight as the thematic statements coalesce. Miles doesn't need to fear that he won't meet others' expectations; it's his choice what to do and become; and that choice is put into action by a leap of faith. Empowered with these epiphanies, he's ready to be Spider-man.

Finale (85 - 110)

This is the bulk of Act III. It's where the lessons learned are applied. The character flaws are overcome and new skills are proven to be mastered.

It shows major change that will create a new world (or as I like to say, a "new normal.")

Snyder adds a point that others don't. Antagonists are typically addressed in ascending order. First, henchman die, then leaders, and up and up to the boss, the main source of the problem, whether that's a person or a thing. It must be defeated completely in order for a new world to exist successfully.

A new society must be born. "It's not enough for the hero to triumph," Snyder says, "he must change the world."

And however this is carried out, it must be done in an emotionally satisfying way.

It should be noted that this doesn't only contain the climax, but often part of the falling action (depending on the story).

There is a lot I could add on my opinion of the end, but nothing about this structure in particular that I haven't already discussed elsewhere on my blog. In the future, I'll bring all those thoughts together into one place.

There are loads of great examples that fit here, whether it's from a Disney movie like Mulan, or a Harry Potter book, or Interstellar. What the hero has learned will be used to defeat threats in ascending order, typically.

In Spider-verse

At the collider, one by one, the heroes take on the villains--in ascending order to Doc Ock and then Kinpin--as they begin to go back to their proper dimensions (notice, too that the most important Spider people go last). Then, it's just Miles and Kingpin, where Miles proves he's learned his lesson in that he gets back up and perseveres. This makes way for a new world, which we see taking shape.

Final Image (110)

This is the counterpoint to the Opening Image. It's part of the falling action, but it's the last scene. This needs to embody how the protagonist and/or world has changed. If you can't show that in a scene, chances are, something is off about your story.

This is usually pretty brief. Buddy with his family in New York in Elf. Or a couple happily together. Or Scrooge being generous.

My Thoughts:

I'd like to note that some stories are about how things don't change. This is rarer, but in a case like this, the Final Image may show a lack of change.

In Spider-verse

In a montage, the audience sees Miles applying what he learned (perseverance) to his life as he talks about how much better he is doing; it ends with him in his room at school (the same school he wanted to quit), recalling all his friends, one of which, seems to be able to connect with him, despite their distance.

Save the Cat! Evaluated

Save the Cat! is a highly effective story structure that resonates with many writers and includes basically the most important pieces of a story. Frankly, it's pretty similar to the Hero's Journey structure, but feels more modernized, which I think might make it easier for some learners to grasp. I like that it makes a point to include a B story in the structure and a thematic beat in the opening, as well as highlighting the importance of delivering on the "promise of the premise" in Fun & Games. It also includes some techniques that I haven't really seen anywhere else, and I appreciate Snyder's definition of a midpoint.

With that said, I also think it has some weaknesses. While I feel that the Hero's Journey uses too specific of terms (which makes it seem difficult to grasp at times), I sometimes feel that Save the Cat! uses too vague of terms and definitions. Don't get me wrong, some are as clear as day. But others leave me wanting. And sometimes when Snyder defines certain ones, it feels like he's just relying on examples, rather than explaining what it actually is. Sort of like "Well, it's like this and this," and at a couple of points he even says, "I don't know why." That's fine, I mean, story structure is really difficult to nail down and explain because it feels so incorporeal, and I'm sure I do the same thing quite a bit. But I would have liked to have had some of the concepts refined more, using language that is more specific. Save the Cat! is definitely a story structure worth being familiar with, and another one you can use to troubleshoot problems. And if it really resonates with you--perfect! But I hope by now you are starting to see, that surprisingly, a lot of these so-called "different" story structures, actually have similarities 🤔🤔, and the same story can actually fit multiple structures. . . . So is this structure really the last one you'll ever need, as it claims? For some people, perhaps. For me, it is not enough. I'd like some more refining, and I think it's actually missing some pieces that could make it better. Is it comprehensive? Probably not. Helpful? Yes. It should be mentioned, though, that the book Save the Cat! is also full of a bunch of other techniques and teachings, in addition to the actual story structure. You can pick up a copy here.

#writing tips #writing tips and tricks #writeblr #save the cat #story structure #fanfic #nanowrimo

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terramythos · 3 years

Text

I beat Prey yesterday! here are the general thoughts i scribbled down.

i thought the opening was super strong. When you break the glass on the apartment window? *chef's kiss*

i’ve never played system shock 2 but understand this is heavily influenced by it. I've played Bioshock though so I did pick up on some of the similarities by proxy.

generally I liked combat. In the first half it's pretty tense and survival horror-y and there's certainly a difficulty curve. I liked using limited resources and thinking up creative solutions to problems.

However, most stuff became trivial halfway through. The shotgun is just busted after a couple upgrades. Once you know a surefire way to deal with each enemy type, the game gets pretty easy. from what I understand the difficulty settings do not affect this much (I played on normal). You can make the game more tedious, but not necessarily harder.

i wish there were more horror elements in the mid to late game. There are some genuinely great jump scares early on but they're basically gone past a certain point.

main quest in general was a treadmill of “go to point a, do x thing, oh no something stopped you from doing x thing, you need to go to point y and do b thing so you can go back and do x thing”. kind of disappointing; it mostly served as a way to get around and find more interesting stuff (with a few exceptions). i liked the side quests more.

the voice acting was great. In particular, Benedict Wong's performance as Alex stuck out to me.

the visual and world design was fantastic, too. I think its impressive that Talos I had a unifying design but each area still felt distinct.

visually the Looking Glass stuff was super cool. I think that Arkane developed this with the time travel Dishonored 2 mission and it was cool there too.

there's an impressive amount of extra flavor. All of the art, audio logs, emails, books, and even the ability to explore a bit in space. Just cool details that helped make it all feel real and believable. It adds a lot.

i wanted neuromods to be more like the plasmids in bioshock. While they are the same thing story-wise, in game they function as a talent tree. And some just don’t make sense. Like... how would jamming 4 neuromods in my eye make me physically better at lifting stuff? Why is it an incremental skill I have to invest in 3 times? This makes a little more sense with the Typhon powers since those are basically magic, but not the Human ones.

the ending and some of the mid story is clearly rushed, although I'm glad there's more stuff after the credits.

despite the underwhelming endings (pre credits) I do think the developers put an impressive amount of thought into the circumstances various playthroughs would have surrounding them. I looked it up and there's a boggling number of variations on what's basically two endings.

startlingly few bugs! Just some clipping stuff for me, mostly.

there were some cool small details. I like that if you go someplace before the main story officially tells you to, January will act surprised that you knew ahead of time to go there for the next step. This only happened to me once (on accident), but I imagine it's fun for replays.

SPOILER THOUGHTS BELOW THE CUT

LOVE the meta commentary on identity and autonomy in video games. Morgan is a little different between each reset in the early simulation, even though theoretically that shouldn't be possible. Characters constantly compare you to the Morgan they knew, whatever that means to them. Morgan the player character is a silent protagonist. Morgan the narrative character has several audio and video logs from their past and multiple robots with their voice. More broadly, each player will play a video game differently, even if they make similar choices. So is any playable character the same person between playthroughs? Is the player character narratively that person, or are they simply a vehicle that reflects what the player wants? It's no "would you kindly" but it's still interesting.

in theory i like the Nightmare. kind of a pyramid head type thing but more random. however there’s little incentive to defeat it and it’s easy to avoid, so it turned into a “wait for a 3 min timer to count down” simulator. also, if you accidentally spawn it in certain areas it can WRECK your ending (though it’s easy to reload).

so the Big Twist hints were pretty heavy handed. I figured it out early. It occurred to me after the first level that if the tutorial was a simulation, anything could be, and that was basically the big twisterino. Stuff like January saying "well good thing you're not an alien" in a super ironic tone of voice made me laugh out loud. Also, I did the Obvious Bad Ending for shits and giggles and it spoiled the whole thing. Really wish it had just cut to black since you can access it early. This potentially ruins any shock value for a lot of people.

on some level I like that the ending explains away certain "plot holes". Probably the most obvious is Morgan not remembering any of their past, which is... not how the neuromod memory loss works. But of course they wouldn't remember it, because the player is a Typhon going through a simulation, not the real Morgan.

you can also view the ending from the perspective of humans desperately trying to convince an alien they're worth saving, despite some "bad actors" (read: war crimes in space). Hence the sometimes on-the-nose moral choices and optional side quests. Even the fact that Morgan and Alex are characterized as total assholes in the past-- yet Alex in game and post credits is gentle and compassionate. Perhaps Alex in real life is trying to atone for his mistakes?

i kept expecting mirrors to be relevant? The Phantoms whisper about "what you see in the mirror", promo material shows Morgan looking at themself in the mirror, the Looking Glass tech, and the fact that mirrors are all over the place and DO NOT actually reflect Morgan. Which isn't a technical limitation since the Looking Glass is a whole thing. There's the whole mirror neuron thing but that's such a tiny line of dialogue I'm not sure it matters. Have to wonder if this was a story concept that got cut.

in a similar vein to "crap Phantoms say", there's a minor human character who just... says a bunch of Phantom lines in a row once you complete a quest. He’s seemingly unaware that he's echoing them. What was the purpose of this? Was this an abandoned plot thread?

why wasn't Dahl a bigger part of the story? or Alex and Morgan's parents? I assume it's due to a time crunch, but it just feels like a missed opportunity.

small detail: I love that one of the main story quests has you fake someone's voice using audio logs, and someone MUCH later uses the same trick against you.

another small detail which I missed: flying out to the space billboard to get an early horror twist about the fucking escape pods. there are lots of little things like that all over the place.

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ibijau · 4 years

Text

Worst engagement AU // on AO3

It is Lan Xichen’s turn to get a visitor, giving the chance to clarify a misunderstanding

When Nie Huaisang’s first letter arrives to the Cloud Recesses, Lan Xichen is so giddy he can't stop smiling all day. The letter, to other eyes, would be painfully banal: some gossip from Qinghe, complaints against Nie Mingjue’s expectations, and mentions of the ways Nie Huaisang has occupied his free time lately. Still Lan Xichen finds himself rereading it so many times that he knows it almost by heart.

Problems arise when Lan Xichen tries to write an answer. His first few attempts are, for lack of a better term, sentimental. He can't allow that, of course. Although things have improved with Nie Huaisang, faster and to a degree Lan Xichen would not have expected, he's not foolish enough to consider romancing his fiancé, certain to be rejected. And yet, it's hard to contain his emotions when he has his brush in hand. The urge to tell Nie Huaisang how much he loves and misses him is nearly uncontrollable. In the end he has to pretend he is writing to Nie Mingjue to come up with a letter that, hopefully, won't make his fiancé uncomfortable.

It's possible that in trying to be reasonable, Lan Xichen went too far. Nie Huaisang’s next letter teases him mercilessly about sounding like a Night Hunt report, and jokes about falling asleep while reading.

In his response, Lan Xichen makes efforts to be a little warmer. It is a fine line to walk between too much and too little, but he tries his best. After explaining that Lan Qiren seems a little bored this year with the much calmer guest disciples they have welcomes Lan Xichen boldly allows himself to mention that he too finds the Cloud Recesses too quiet, and that he misses Nie Huaisang. He goes so far as to say that though they did not always go well, he enjoyed their meetings and hopes they have other chances to chat soon.

He shows that letter to his brother before sending it, so he can get a second opinion and ensure it isn't too much. Lan Wangji rolls his eyes at him.

"Brother worries too much," he says, the only comment Lan Xichen can get out of him on that matter.

Perhaps Lan Wangji is right. When Nie Huaisang answers, he mentions that he is going to Lotus Piers for a couple of weeks, and that he'd love to drop by the Cloud Recesses on his way home. He asks that the answer be sent to Yunmeng, since he will be long gone from the Unclean Realm when his letter reaches Lan Xichen, and is quite insistent that he will be very disappointed if he should be denied this small request.

Lan Xichen, of course, readily agrees. He would never pass a chance for some time with his fiancé.

It feels like ages pass before, one day, Lan Xichen gets word that Nie Huaisang is finally on his way to the Cloud Recesses. By a cruel coincidence, his fiancé is set to arrive on a day when Lan Xichen is busy helping his uncle deal with the leaders of some nearby small clans. Not wanting to appear avoidant, Lan Xichen convinces his brother to greet Nie Huaisang for him and to explain the situation. Lan Wangji is only too happy to help, glad as well to have a little time with his friend.

Even like this, Lan Xichen finds himself anxious all morning. He can barely focus on the conversations at hand, and has to ask for certain details to be repeated multiple times. When the lunch they take in his uncle's office is over, Lan Qiren orders him to see that tea be brought to them, then tells him he's free for the afternoon.

"Go meet that damn Nie boy," he orders. "But you'd better be back to normal tomorrow, you hear me?"

"Of course, uncle," Lan Xichen replies, ready to promise almost anything. "I'll see you later."

He does not run home, because running is forbidden and unbecoming, but this is the fastest Lan Xichen has ever walked in his life. He only slows down once he reaches the door, taking a moment to compose himself and make sure he doesn't look like someone who nearly ran across the Cloud Recesses.

When Lan Xichen enters the house, he finds Nie Huaisang and Lan Wangji sitting together. They look rather more serious than two friends should after a long separation, and though they are silent when he comes in, Lan Xichen can't shake the impression that they must have been talking about something before the door opened. Nie Huaisang’s expression in particular is oddly dark, though he quickly brightens and jumps to his feet to greet his fiancé.

"Lan gongzi, at last! I can't believe I came all this way for you, and you made me wait. Are you perhaps playing hard to get?"

The idea is so ridiculous that Lan Xichen can only laugh.

"It would be a dangerous game to play when Nie gongzi finds me hard to want," he retorts, which makes Nie Huaisang laugh as well. "I'm sure Wangji explained what happened?"

Lan Wangji, who also stood up, nods at his brother while Nie Huaisang rolls his eyes.

“He did tell me. How boring… but I suppose all of this is to train you for your future role, right? Da-ge is awful about that these days, always saying I need to be more active in the sect… I can’t tell you how glad I was to get a break from that. It was so nice to spend time with Jiang Cheng again… and Wei Wuxian too, of course.”

Instantly Lan Wangji stiffens and frowns, as if simply hearing the name of the other boy were painful to him. Lan Xichen has to refrain from smiling. It’s been over a year since his brother last saw Wei Wuxian, and yet his crush seems to be going as strong as ever. When Lan Wangji makes his excuses and quickly leaves the house, Lan Xichen and Nie Huaisang exchange a glance and they both grin.

“Some things don’t change,” Lan Xichen says, even when he knows he should have a little more sympathy than that for his brother’s poor heart.

“I guess so. What else is going to be the same as before?” Nie Huaisang asks, tilting his head as his grin widens. “Lan gongzi, are you going to make me tea and light an incense stick to make sure I don’t bother you too long?”

“Nie gongzi knows I enjoy his conversation. But if you’d rather limit your time with me to a minimum, I’ll do as you please of course.”

Nie Huaisang laughs, his cheeks colouring slightly, but he seems very pleased with that answer. When he moves to sit down again, Lan Xichen stops him with a gesture.

“Actually, I have something to show you outside,” Lan Xichen says, smiling to hide his nerves. “It'll be quick, I just don't want to forget, and you might give me your input on it while you're here. If you would follow me?"

Nie Huaisang nods, looking intrigued, but he doesn’t say a word as they leave the house and walk to a nearby tree which Lan Xichen carefully selected for his purposes. It had to be a little surdy, and well visible from the porch and from inside the house. After choosing this one Lan Xichen made the necessary preparations, namely a bowl filled with seeds which securely hangs from a branch facing the house.

"That’s what you wanted to show me?” Nie Huaisang asks, puzzled but clearly trying his best to remain polite.

“I thought it might please you,” Lan Xichen explains. “A compromise of sorts."

His fiancé’s puzzlement only grows. He narrows his eyes, clearly trying to figure out what the bowl is supposed to be. Lan Xichen is about to explain when Nie Huaisang gasps.

"A bird feeder? Really?"

His tone is so disbelieving that Lan Xichen feels seized by a cold anxiety even as he nods. It’s not enough. Of course it’s not enough, but it’s the best he can do without breaking rules and he doesn't have yet the authority to attempt that.

"I thought it would be unfair that I found a way for Wangji to keep his rabbits but you’d lose your birds,” he quickly explains. “It’s not a permanent solution, I am trying to find a way to let you have tame birds as well, but until then…"

He trails off, unwilling to make promises he might not be able to keep. His uncle denied him when he asked for an exception to be made. There will be no caged birds in their immediate future, and Lan Xichen doesn’t know any other way to keep birds. But Nie Huaisang might, and Lan Xichen will do his best to help with that.

Nie Huaisang who looks at the bowl with great attention, his lips pinched.

"Is it unsatisfactory?” Lan Xichen asks at last, ready to hear he failed again to do the right thing.

“No, it’s great,” Nie Huaisang replies, barely a whisper, bringing a hand to the bowl and brushing his fingers against it as if it were the most precious thing in the world. “It's… thank you. Even the types of seeds are well chosen. Did you research this?"

"I asked around. I was hoping some birds might already get into the habit of eating here so that they are accustomed to it by the time we…"

Lan Xichen doesn’t dare finish, still unsure how Nie Huaisang might react at the reminder of what’s to come. Last time, in Qinghe, Nie Huaisang made it clear that the idea of their marriage is still distressing to him, even if they get along a little better now. It worries Lan Xichen more than he would admit to anyone. There is no set date yet, but Lan Qiren has said that he’ll probably start preparations after that conference in Nightless City.

"Thank you, Xichen,” Nie Huaisang quietly says, staring at the bird feeder. “This is… I can’t explain how much it means to me.”

“It’s the least I can do. I know how much you love your birds, so of course…"

"I don’t mean just this,” Nie Huaisang interrupts, turning his eyes to his fiancé. “Thank you for… for thinking about that sort of things. For trying to make this more comfortable for me. Thank you for trying to make this feel like I could call it home."

"I hope you might someday,” Lan Xichen replies, too earnest even to his own ears.

He expects a frown or pinched lips, some kind of negative reaction in answer to the emotions he can never seem to restrain as well as he should. But Nie Huaisang only smiles, his expression softer than Lan Xichen has ever seen on him.

“I hope as well,” Nie Huaisang says. “Home… Yes, I think I will get used to that."

The way he says it, so calm and certain, makes Lan Xichen hopeful as well. This will be a marriage between friends and nothing else, but if he can make Nie Huaisang happy at his side, he won't ask for more.

With Lan Xichen's surprise revealed, the two of them return inside. Ever the perfect host, Lan Xichen prepares some tea, and brings some biscuits. Not the usual ones that are normally served to guests, but some that he went to buy in Gusu when Nie Huaisang wrote that he would be coming. His fiancé notices the difference and grins.

"Should we play Go?" Lan Xichen asks, unable to resist what now feels like a joke between them.

Nie Huaisang picks a biscuit and shakes his head.

"Let's chat instead," he suggests, his expression suddenly turning serious and nibbles on the treat. "Lan Wangji was telling me about something when you arrived, but he admitted he didn't have all the elements. You do, though, and I want to hear it from you."

Without thinking, Lan Xichen smiles while frantically trying to guess what his brother might have said. He wonders if this is about the rabbits painting, if Lan Wangji decided to share his brother's initial reaction to it. It was petty and stupid of him to have turned around the instant he'd heard the painting was from Nie Huaisang, but hopefully at this point he has more than proved his sincere admiration for his fiancé's skill, and… and he'll apologise of course, but surely Nie Huaisang won't be upset, surely…

"Wangji says you were punished for kissing someone at the end of last year."

Hearing this, Lan Xichen wishes it had been about the painting after all. He feels his entire body go rigid just from these few words, terrified that Nie Huaisang might make wrongful assumptions.

When his fiancé stays silent too long, Nie Huaisang frowns and resumes speaking. "I know you're too honourable to have kissed someone else," he states, which does ease some of Lan Xichen’s tension. "So I'm guessing this is about… about what happened between us?"

His hands tightening around his cup of tea, Lan Xichen looks down in shame and nods once, forcing his smile away.

"Lan gongzi, that's… I thought kissing was fine," Nie Huaisang says hesitantly. "if it's in private, anyway. I've copied the rules of Gusu Lan many, many times at this point, I don't remember seeing anywhere that kissing is forbidden."

"But assault is,” Lan Xichen whispers, closing his eyes.

Nie Huaisang gasps.

“Lan gongzi, that’s… that’s not at all what happened!” he exclaims, putting one hand above Lan Xichen’s in a comforting gesture. “You didn’t force me!”

Lan Xichen’s eyes snap open and he stares at Nie Huaisang who looks distressed, as if he were the one to have done something wrong.

“That time, you said…” Lan Xichen starts, only to stop when Nie Huaisang pulls on his hand to force it from the tea cup and holds it in both of his, a serious look on his face.

“Lan gongzi, that time I said a lot of awful things to you,” Nie Huaisang sighs, keeping his eyes on their hands. “Some of it was true, because I was so angry at you for the way you used to be. But other things… Lan gongzi, even if you made the first move for it, in the end, wasn't I the one to actually kiss you?”

"What?"

Nie Huaisang frowns as his face turns a deep shade of red, his eyes still avoiding Lan Xichen's.

"Well, that's how I remember it anyway," he mutters with a forced laugh. "I was so annoyed at myself for it, too. At that time, I really wanted to hate you, but you were looking at me like that, and I really do like kissing. And then you made it worse because you were actually very nice to kiss!"

"I'm sorry?" Lan Xichen mumbles, feeling rather confused.

Of course, for him the kiss had been extremely nice, at least before it was abruptly ended. But with the way Nie Huaisang reacted to it, he had assumed that for his fiancé it must have been deeply unpleasant, repulsing even. So he has tried not to dwell too much on how good it felt to feel Nie Huaisang’s lips on his, warm and soft, tasting slightly of tea. That kiss is on a list of memories Lan Xichen wants to forget, along with that vision of Nie Huaisang in wet, translucent robes by the river, or the way he looked in Qinghe after changing so hastily that his robes hung too loosely and revealed more skin than they should have, or…

Nie Huaisang's hands tighten around his.

"Lan gongzi, I'm very happy you've started apologising for those time you treated me badly," he says. "But just because you've done me wrong for certain things doesn't mean everything was your fault. I carry my share of blame as well, and I can't let you feel guilty over that."

"You didn't realise…"

"I did. I wanted to hurt you," Nie Huaisang admits. "That's why I started kissing other people, and why I first thought I'd try to sleep with someone. I knew even if you didn't care at all about me, it would surely hurt you to be married to someone who had done things like that."

"Oh."

Suddenly feeling like he cannot breathe well, Lan Xichen lets his eyes fall on his cup of tea, if only to give them something to rest on. It had never occurred to him that Nie Huaisang’s dalliances might be more than his fiancé seeking a little fun, the way he's seen even other Lan boys do when they can get away with it.

It had hurt to realise that Nie Huaisang would rather go to other people than to him for these things. It now hurts even more to hear it was a deliberate choice, intended to cause him exactly the sort of pain he's now feeling. He doesn't think it will ever stop hurting, the degree to which Nie Huaisang grew to hate him.

"I'm really sorry," Nie Huaisang says. "I shouldn't have acted like this. Being angry doesn't excuse my behaviour."

Taking a deep breath, Lan Xichen smiles again.

"I understand. It's fine, you were…."

"Please, don't do that!" Nie Huaisang urgently begs. "If you're angry at me, say it. You have every right to be angry, and promised you'd be more open, so do it for this as well. It's not fair if I'm the only one who gets to be upset."

"I'm not angry," Lan Xichen sighs, forcing the words out. "I'm just… sad. Do you really hate me this much?"

"Not anymore," Nie Huaisang gently replies, squeezing his hand.

Meaning he used to. But of course, Lan Xichen already knows that.

"I wouldn't do that anymore," Nie Huaisang babbles on. "Even back then, I knew it was bad. It could have ruined things with Jin Zixuan too, how stupid! I really want to slap myself for that. I can't believe I just went and…"

"It's fine with me if you do it again," Lan Xichen cuts him, spitting out the words as if they were made of acid.

Nie Huaisang’s grip on his hand tightens to the point of being painful.

"What do you mean?"

"You did not choose this," Lan Xichen whispers, words that he's prepared hundreds of times in his mind, yet can barely bring himself to utter out loud. "This engagement, this marriage... I won't make demands of you. If you find a person you like… as long as you are discreet… If It makes you happy, I won't stop you."

"But that would hurt you."

Lan Xichen scoffs at that understatement.

"It's irrelevant."

"It's not!" Nie Huaisang protests, sounding distressed. "Lan gongzi, Xichen, I… no matter how things were before, this is now, and everything is different. I wouldn't do that again, I mean it. The thought of hurting you like that again, it's unbearable."

Lan Xichen looks up for his cup of tea, their eyes meeting for the first time since they started on that subject. Nie Huaisang does look upset, his eyes shining as if the very thought of hurting Lan Xichen might make him cry.

"I won't do that to you," Nie Huaisang repeats fiercely. "Not even with your permission."

"Thank you," Lan Xichen whispers, moving his hand so he can properly hold one of Nie Huaisang's.

He is fearful, at first, that he is taking more than his fiancé is willing to offer, but Nie Huaisang doesn't move his hand away. On the contrary he smiles and brushes his thumb against the back of Lan Xichen's hand. It is nice to be like this, quiet in a different way from when they fell silent during their meetings last year. Lan Xichen wouldn't mind spending the rest of the afternoon like this, though when before long Nie Huaisang starts chatting again, he doesn't mind that either.

"I'm thinking of something," Nie Huaisang announces. "That time… was it really your first kiss?"

"It was."

"And I've ruined it," Nie Huaisang pouts, his expression exaggerated but his tone earnest. "I'm sorry for that. You deserve a nicer first kiss than that."

Lan Xichen looks away, his cheeks burning as he wonders how to explain that, even if things went so bad, he doesn't regret that kiss at all. Not now that he knows Nie Huaisang was willing.

"How will I ever make it up to you?" Nie Huaisang sighs, his voice turning playful. "Ah! I know!" he announces with a devilish smile. "There's going to be an archery contest for junior disciples at that conference the Wens are hosting, right?"

A little worried as to where this is going, Lan Xichen nods.

"Well, here's my offer: if you win first place, I'll give you a real first kiss, to replace that other one."

Lan Xichen's eyes go wide with surprise, while his cheeks turn redder than cherries at this bold proposition. To be so casually offered such a thing is…

"If it's to compensate for what happened, shouldn't you just kiss me without condition?" Lan Xichen hears himself say, without any input from his brain.

Nie Huaisang, blushing heavily as well, snickers at that comment and smirks at him.

"I can't make things too easy for you!" he protests. "Besides, aren't I worth the effort? And you're such a strong archer, I'm sure it will be quite easy for you."

"There will be other strong competitors," Lan Xichen protests, a little ashamed to be taking this joke so seriously but unable to stop himself when Nie Huaisang is pretending to offer him exactly the thing he most wants. "Wangji is probably even better than me, and Wei Wuxian is serious competition as well."

"Already looking for excuses?" Nie Huaisang teases, squeezing his hand. "Lan gongzi, just say you don't want to kiss me."

"I did not say that," Lan Xichen protests too quickly, which makes his fiancé burst out laughing. Lan Xichen can't decide if he's embarrassed or glad that this is apparently something they can joke about, now that they've clarified things between them.

"Lan gongzi, you're so easy to tease these days!" Nie Huaisang chuckles. "I like it, it's more fun than when you tried to be serious."

"I'm glad I can entertain Nie gongzi."

"I wish everyone took it as well as you do. Jiang Cheng kept complaining about how awful I am, when I was in Lotus Piers. He said I was worse than Wei Wuxian, can you believe that?"

"I can imagine him saying that, certainly. How are they both doing?" Lan Xichen asks, eager to move to a less dangerous topic.

That is all the prompting Nie Huaisang needs to start chatting about his stay in Yunmeng, and what great fun he had there. Now that he is not distressed by other subjects, Lan Xichen is free to observe his fiancé and finds him to be in a much better state than he was in Qinghe. Loneliness does not suit Nie Huaisang, and Lan Xichen is glad Nie Mingjue listened when he suggested to let his brother travel to see his friends. He will still offer to play music for Nie Huaisang later, but the need for it seems less urgent than last time.

They continue talking as the afternoon pass (or rather Nie Huaisang chatters while Lan Xichen makes comments here and there), never noticing the time. They are only brought back to the world around them when, as the shadows start growing longer, Lan Qiren briefly comes into the house.

"I forgot some documents I was working on," he grumbles, striding past them without bothering to greet his nephew's guest. "I'll only be a moment, so…"

Lan Qiren trails off, stopping on his tracks and suddenly staring at them as if they've both grown a second head. An ugly one at that, judging by his expression. It's rare to see him so disconcerted and Lan Xichen wonders what could be upsetting him. Following his uncle's gaze, he realises that this entire time, Nie Huaisang and him never let go of each other's hand.

For a moment, Lan Xichen fears that Nie Huaisang will realises and move away. That fear is assuaged when instead, his fiancé gently squeezes his fingers and resumes his anecdote about one of Wei Wuxian's bouts of mischief, as if Lan Qiren weren't there. In turn Lan Qiren seems to recover from his shock. Without another word he goes to pick up his documents and leaves as quickly as he had arrived, his expression unreadable. Lan Xichen can't help staring at the door a moment, wondering what his uncle must think of this, until Nie Huaisang tugs at his hand, demanding his attention.

"Lan gongzi, am I boring you?" he asks with a pout.

"You never could," Lan Xichen replies. "So what did he do after stealing that boat?"

Nie Huaisang grins. "Well, first of all, he got yelled at by Jiang Wanyin of course! And then he grabbed me and forced me to jump in, and…"

Lan Xichen smiles, and listens with amused horror to a wild story that ends with all three boys falling in the water and punished by Madam Yu.

It took too long and caused so much pain to both of them, but it is nice to finally be friend with Nie Huaisang.

#xisang #worst engagement au #jau writes #nhs is a tease and lxc is confused but they're still making progress #I don't know how happy I am with this one but it's there anyway!

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salenakingston · 3 years

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Mystery March Day 4 - Storm

When it came to the weather in Tempo, there wasn’t much difference to tell the passage of each season. All that seemed to change was the temperature in the air, and even then it didn’t fluctuate that much. What else would you expect from a desert town? At least on the plus side, it meant the people living there didn’t have too much to worry about. Maybe sandstorms? Tornadoes? Well, those were probably more likely, but so was any state practically bordering Texas, especially when going further north.

Rain came, as it always did. Wouldn’t be much vegetation if that wasn’t the case right? Even while the rain poured from the heavens, generally nothing bad ever happened. The van had good traction, so slick roads were handled. Umbrellas were always kept in the back, just on the off chance they were required, though half the time Vivi would just make a run for it.

That was a luxury Arthur couldn’t really afford. As advanced as his arm was, water was still the greatest weakness it held.

Thank goodness the others were alright with waiting for him whenever that happened.

Considering the most recent circumstances, some aspects of their dynamic began to rise back to the surface. Not all of Lewis’ temper disappeared, not that any of them expected it to. There were moments when anger tended to get the better of him, and his relationship with Arthur was still filled with annoyed looks. Sometimes even glares.

Yet despite all that, it was clear he was making an effort.

The boys could still sometimes chat like they used to, even crack a smile in one another’s direction. When effort was given, it was received in turn. Vivi found it much easier to trust the ghost, even if not fully. She could trust him with the most basic things; however, since the Mystery Skulls were back in action, she wasn’t so sure she could trust him to have their back when it counted. Frankly, she could say the same for Mystery, but he was forgiven far more easily for a couple reasons.

For one, he was actually around in the time when Lewis was not. He had been there when they needed him. For two, he hadn’t purposefully tried to kill anyone. He truly was like Arthur, holding guilt for an action of harm against another, but in the kitsune’s case, his only goal was to save their friend, not kill him.

Lewis had done that deed.

Blond man and dog had already begun to mend the wound caused by that injury, and in a way, having Mystery there helped to ease his own fears. Both of them had suffered at the hands of the same entity, and could find comfort in one another’s shared experience.

As far as Arthur himself went, he tried to be much more open with his friends, both of them. While there were still instances where he held his emotions under lock and key, or even ignored Vivi when she tried to get in contact with him, he still worked to break the habit of letting them know when something was bothering him.

Small steps.

Point being, the consideration hadn’t gone unnoticed. Rain they had down pat. It was a whole ‘nother ball game when it came to snow.

White covering the ground in Tempo, or even anywhere around Tempo for that matter, was quite rare. Rarer still was getting enough height to the point where vehicles could not drive down the road, let alone get out from where they were parked. And so that’s how the four of them were now stuck at Vivi’s place, having gone over there to discuss some cases. When the snow started coming down, no one suspected it would turn out this bad.

The temperature was already beginning to drop, the chill appearing to seep through the walls. Of course, Lewis and Mystery didn’t seem at all bothered by this fact; although, the same could not be said for Vivi and Arthur. While the former of the two often wore a sweater year round, even she could feel the difference. The latter of the two was another issue.

Arthur’s vest might have been warm, but it wasn’t exactly covering all parts of his body. He should have been smart enough to wear something a little warmer given it was the middle of winter, but old habits must truly die hard. Same could be said for the shirt he wore. At least he had pants on.

Even so, that wasn’t the most pressing problem.

None of them had taken into account how the blond’s metal arm would take to the cold, not even Arthur himself. It wasn’t like the other three knew the first thing about how it all worked. Whenever it was explained to them, it was almost like he was speaking a foreign language. All they could do was nod their heads, as if they were following along with absolute clarity.

Arthur was another matter.

He couldn’t help but kick himself mentally for this oversight. He should have known better. Was it for the lack of a real ‘winter cold?’ Was it truly just something he forgot about? He knew heat had an effect on the arm, so why wouldn’t the cold? Great, now he was going to have to figure out a solution for this. As if he didn’t already have enough ‘arm upgrade projects’ to juggle around.

For now, it didn’t seem like the limb was bothering him that much. Sure, it felt colder than usual, but as long as the heater in the Yukino home was running, there was nothing to worry about.

As if God himself had been listening to the blond’s thoughts, that was the moment when the power decided to flicker out.

Just great.

It had long since been deemed unsafe for any of them to try and make their way home with the storm hitting this hard, but now that decision was definitive. No member of the Yukino family thought it wise to try sending those boys out on their own, most of all Vivi. Arthur made sure to call his uncle to let him know where he was before passing the phone to Lewis. The ghost seemed to give a look of confusion.

The blond just seemed to tilt his head back, “Aren’t you going to call your family?”

Eyes narrowed. Oh that wasn’t a good sign. He began to hand the phone back, “Arthur you know I ca-”

He was cut off by the blond motioning to Vivi’s family. Of course, what would they think if he didn’t at least inform them of his whereabouts? He’d been purposefully avoiding them, and it was a wonder that not only had the two families not already informed the Peppers about their son’s return to Tempo, but also the passersby who knew him.

Maybe it was the sunglasses? Maybe it was the suit he would sometimes be wearing rather than his normal outfit? Or maybe they already knew and were giving him space? Regardless, he had to play his part. Stepping to the side, he ‘called’ his family.

Then he finally gave the phone back.

Day dragged into night.

The Yukinos were kind, providing a meal for the boys stuck hunkering down in their home. They were important to Vivi. Lewis did his best sneaking food to the other three, making it look like he was eating what was provided to them. It seemed to work for the most part.

When the darkness became too much, the collective deemed it was time for bed. With any luck, the storm should pass through the night, then it was a matter of waiting for the roads to clear. With the four of them working together, they could surely dig the van out enough to allow Arthur to return to Kingsmen Mechanics.

Lewis could just return to his mansion under the cloak of invisibility.

Arthur insisted the ghost stay with Vivi in her room while he took the couch. He couldn’t very well kick the Yukinos out of their respective rooms, and as far as any of them were aware, the bluenette and ghost were still dating. It only made sense they would want to share a room. All about keeping the act up. He would be fine on the couch. Sure wouldn’t be the first time.

When the duo finally agreed, they slipped off in the darkness of the home. Arthur stood in place until he heard the sound of the door shutting.

The blond exhaled the breath he had been holding in, feeling relief wash off him. Talking to Lewis was indeed getting easier, but even the smallest disagreements, or plans he disagreed with could lead to that temper rearing its ugly head. He was overjoyed nothing bad happened this time.

After lowering himself to the couch, he worked to remove his vest and shirt, a task that normally wouldn’t seem like the chore it was now. Where metal connected to skin had begun to feel numb hours ago. It was another case of keeping something to himself rather than worry his friends. Guess the mindset of “I can totally handle this for the rest of the day” came back to bite him in the ass. Well, the sooner he got it off now, the better.

First, he tied a knot in the left sleeve of the shirt.

Arthur rested the arm against the coffee table in front of him, then slipped the shirt back on. With a lack of any other garments to change into, he was left to sleep in the same clothes he wore during the day. He couldn’t dress down for the fear of freezing, and the pants would give him some warmth. At least he also had a blanket.

Too bad it could only warm him up so much.

He mentally cursed every home that didn’t have a fireplace.

The removal of his metal limb had helped, but just barely. The end of his shoulder still felt numb, and whenever there was a feeling, it was tight. It was like the muscles tensed, and could not relax themselves, creating a less than favorable combination of discomfort. Would he even be able to get to sleep were it not for the freezing temperatures?

Arthur wasn’t sure how much time had passed when he felt a sudden weight near his legs. That had to be Mystery, coming to help warm him up. As considerate as the kitsune was in this gesture, there was little he would truly be able to do. A giant fox with multiple tails wasn’t exactly hiding in plain sight as a dog if he took on his true form to offer the blond more warmth. A small whine echoed from the other end of the couch, earning a whisper from the man, “I know… t-thanks a-anyw-way Mystery.”

Damn the slight stutter from the cold.

Guess he should be happy his teeth weren’t joining in with it.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed this time before he saw a small light hovering above him. Did someone light a candle or something? Maybe he could huddle close to it, or at least his shoulder could. When tired eyes brought the room into some semblance of order, he could see it wasn’t a candle, but rather the flaming pompadour on top of a floating skull. What was he doing out here? Wait, was he having some kind of dream, or nightmare, and he wasn’t aware of it? That would make sense.

Lewis was probably here to finish the job.

His body trembled, not simply from the lack of heat. He never was good at hiding how scared he became, especially when it came to their otherworldly friend. Part of him just wanted the ghost to get it over with, rather than drag this out longer than it needed to.

He reached out towards Arthur.

Arms wrapped around him.

The blond felt himself being lifted from the couch.

Resting in Lewis’ arms.

Floating down the hall....

Stopping in front of Vivi’s bedroom door…

Wait… wait a minute… What was going on?

Lewis adjusted his hold on Arthur, twisting the knob to open the door, the squeaking of wood echoing from his attempt to create as little noise as possible. Once the three of them were in the room, because of course Mystery followed them, the door was shut once again. The blond couldn’t take it anymore, whispering up at his captor, “Lewis, what’s going on?”

The ghost said nothing.

Just dropped him down on the other side of Vivi’s bed. Were it not for the ghost quickly laying the pulled sheets and blankets over him, Arthur was sure he would have sprung right back out. He shouldn’t be here. He shouldn’t be here.

“Lewis wha-”

“Hush Arthur. Get some sleep.”

“But-”

Lewis placed a finger against the blond’s lips, floating over him. There wasn’t much space between him and Vivi, yet Lewis somehow found a way to snuggly fit. He could feel Mystery hop onto the bed, body pressed against his legs. Where he once felt cold, a warm seemed to wash over him; although, he couldn’t tell if that was from Lewis’ unnatural heat, or the comfort of his friends.

Finally, he found his eyes closing, sleep taking him to escape the storm.

#MysteryMarch2021 #mystery skulls animated #my writing #my submission #I think I remember Tempo being in Texas #Also a little shoutout to a headcanon by lottafandoms

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fanficaficionado · 3 years

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this post was not one that was very premeditated. when i made this blog i had no intentions on criticizing any specific writers on their styles outside of individual works. however, one writer has a specific writing style that prevents me from finishing any of their stories more than once. so, i decided to tackle it all in one go instead of trying to trudge through three whole multi-chapter fanworks, one of which is honest to god over a million words. i had a word-for-word plan for what i was going to say in this post at one point, however due to the fact that i am the only one i've ever met with impeccable timing i got a call from my girlfriend right as i was gearing up to sit down and write this post and forgot every fucking thing i was going to say, and then when i finally wrote it i proceeded to procrastinate on editing it for half a year, so this post is literally so unplanned that any plan that might have existed has been consumed by the void. but!! i'm doing it anyway, and not even i can stop me!!

This is the thing about Unda

featuring M.C. Escher that's my favorite MC, Dayhve's Broken Diamond Club, and Alternate Universe by Unda

((spoilers, obviously))

The thing that all these stories have in common, besides being written by the same person of course, is that at some point while reading i got sick and fucking tired of them and couldn't push myself to keep going. For mc escher, it was during my reread when new characters with new relationship dramas were presented right at what i thought would be the climax, causing the story to drag on for longer after i thought that the story would be wrapping up. For DBDC, it was when sollux made a stupid decision during a confrontation with the FUCKING condesce, which i knew was going to delay the ending of the story for even longer, because he was obviously going to get captured, which would probably lead to a decent amount of the rest of them getting captured and then whoo dee fucking doo time for jailbreaks/rescue attempts. I then attempted to reread it, only to stop right when dayhve finds out about the mutant chucklevoodoos because this story is genuinely so long that prolonged amounts of time reading it has effects on my mental health ((i honestly will not blame unda for this one, it's just proof that they're good at writing emotional turmoil and mental health struggles)). For AU it was fairly fucking early, when the dramatic scenes with satan himself popping out of the actual fucking moon and then karkat confronting aradia who is literally the embodiment of death about getting sollux back all lead to a goddamn roadtrip at the end of the world. This was where i drew the line because i could just fucking tell that it was going to drag on into infinity.

These stories are fucking LONG, okay?? They are incredibly, beautifully, wretchedly long. When i first read DBDC i had a game going with my parents where we'd guess what chapter we thought i was on and compare it to where i actually was, and every time it was under ten despite the amount of words i just read leading my tiny little brain to believe otherwise.

In my personal opinion?? These stories cannot and should not go on for longer than what one would think to be the final climax, for the sake of their own lifespan. Because at some point one of these false climaxes are going to make people really fucking overwhelmed, really fucking tired of your shit, and/or really fucking pissed. These stories are primed and ready to collapse under their own weight and it is a sad fucking sight, like that video of the morbidly obese chiweenie i saw. They drag on for so long that at some point you stop forgiving the characters' idiotic decisions and just want things to get to the fucking point.

Now i didnt come here just to rag on unda's writing, believe it or not despite their overwhelming nature i genuinely really like these stories. They just drag on and on and on, and get more convoluted and confusing the longer they go.

But doesn't that sound familiar?? Haven't you read a story in the past, written by someone else, that did the exact same thing??

That's right baby, we are getting meta up in this bitch. I didnt come here just to talk about unda, no, i came here to use unda as an example. We're talking about fanfiction as a whole and the problem with a whole lot of fics. Namely that they just do not know where to stop. These crazy trains have no fucking breaks and everyone is scrambling trying to build some. Then they get half welded on before the conducter says "oh no, that's not right." So they just keep welding on more and more parts and sometimes it works, but at other times it completely breaks under itself, and at other other times it becomes a whole entire goddamn computer inhabited by a fully sentient ai before anyone can figure out how to stop the fucking train.

A lot of stories are like this, in that they drag on and waffle about. This is often caused by people taking a writing formula that works better for slice of life, where things just happen and the characters are just along for the ride, and applying it to big overarching stories. They try to make the plot with a big bad and extremely high stakes fit into this type of pacing, and it starts feeling like each arc is incredibly disconnected. You aren't done with your characters, and you have more ideas for conflicts, so to keep things going you have to keep cranking the stakes higher and higher. Then your reader starts wondering how we went from supernatural college au to Let's Go Kill The Devil, and why the fuck we're spending extra time and attention on a roadtrip when the literal devil just showed up and committed at least three separate war crimes. It's a constant rising and falling of the momentum, big crazy climactic things happen and then suddenly we're slowing down again to build up the next Big Thing.

The problem with this is that eventually you get to a point where no ending you come up with will feel very satisfying, because your reader has been strung along for such a long time that they'll probably feel more like they just ran a marathon trying to get away from a hoard of angry snakes than like they read a story. Unda is a more extreme example, because their standard chapter length and the sheer amount of chapters poured into each story makes a task that is normally kinda frustrating feel like pushing a boulder up a mountain for eternity. These sorts of stories are hard to keep up with when they're delivered in fairly bite sized chunks, but when you deliver your story in four course gourmet meals it just gets actively draining watching a character make another decision that leads to more plot and more relationship drama and more development and always fucking more. There's no ceiling on creativity but this stuff makes me wish there was sometimes, because then maybe these stories would get to a point where they didn't have anywhere else to go and so they'd end sooner on a more satisfying conclusion.

I think the solution to these sorts of conundrums would be splitting these stories over multiple works. Conclude one plot, finish the story, move on to the next using the same characters and premise from where the first work left off and keep going. It might lead to some cliffhangers every now and again but cliffhangers arent so bad when you know there's more to come, and it'd help people not get completely fucking lost.

I know it sounds like im getting on unda's case with all the vitriol of the literature version of Ego from ratatouille, and i know that some people write for fun and others write for practice. I don't know which category unda falls in, but either way when you post something on the internet it's gonna be perceived. I treat both types of writing the exact same way because examining a for fun story with the same analytical eye as i would use for a story that was written with the intent of receiving constructive criticism leads me to find examples of things that work and things that don't, which i can then dissect and share on the internet for people who want to improve to learn from. Experimentation is the root of progress after all, and stories written for fun tend to be full of that sort of stuff, so taking a closer look helps progress storytelling as a whole!! It's a learning experience. Above all, it's fun to tear stories apart, and fanfiction is especially fun because you don't have to spend the emotion to get invested and judge new characters that you've never seen before. I am in no way saying unda should upheave their entire style of writing, or that their stories are shitty. I am actually a pretty big fan of unda's work!! I hope to see more writing from them, in whatever form it takes, and i will gleefully dissect it all the same.

#homestuck #homestuck fanfic #fanfiction #fanfiction critique #the thing about writing #<- made a tag for whatever the fuck this is because i know damn well its gonna happen again #i had a characteristic ramble in the tags but it disappeared and i dont remember half of what it said #something about why i havent posted since last year #honestly im sick of looking at this because im starting to get the urge to rewrite it completely #and i do NOT want to do that #so im just sending it out into the world as is #i hope my points come across well and that my overuse of my weird humor doesnt come off as too mean spirited #godspeed my shitty tumblr post. godspeed.

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moodyoranged · 3 years

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westley and zachary

big spoon/little spoon: zachary big spoon as height dictates and also because he just prefers it but also the handful of times westley have been big spoon he certainly hasn’t been mad at.

favorite non-sexual activity: well gaming first off. but also there’s this post on their pinboard that i think of a lot because i think that’s their true favorite thing to do together just sit and share a bag of midgees talking about random stuff they’re massively interested in in a way that’s not even explicitly transactional like i think they’re on a similar enough wavelength that they have a genuine interest in whatever the other is going on about and they just kinda go back and forth on vaguely related niche topics.

who uses all the hot water: westley. he just feels like a long hot shower kind of guy if because he likes them long or he just gets distracted and doesn’t realize how much time has passed. zachary also just keeps em pretty brisk they’re warm but he doesn’t dally.

most trivial thing they fight over: hmm food maybe? i feel like they’re both pretty picky eaters that are set in their ways and trying to get on the same page about like what snacks to keep stocked at their place or where to go to dinner could be a bit of a minefield. hc personally that they aren’t a go out to dinner for special occasions kind of couple for that reason they just both order what they want from different places and eat it together at home <3

what has a season pass on their dvr/who controls the netflix queue: in general i think they’re both the type to multitask while watching something or like just have it on in the background while they’re doing other stuff. zachary probably picks but just because he’s the one that likes it as white noise and westley doesn’t really care either way ( though it can get him off task sometimes when he feels the need to share fun facts about whatever’s been picked ).

who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: well first off they’d both probably rather die. zachary but he’s not happy about it for a minute.

who steals the blankets: i think zachary did but again they’re ever the practical kind of couple and just started layering a few blankets whenever it gets cold to try and mitigate that. he still does it a little but not as bad.

who leaves their stuff around: zachary. he’s a nightmare he really is. he’s the kind of person to believe in organized chaos and the fact that even if his space looks insane he knows where everything is. but that also means he just leaves shit all over the place. westley feels like he’s be more organized even if it’s in a way that only makes sense to him and 3 other people he’s thoroughly explained it too ( who even then still only half get it ).

who remembers to buy the milk: literally westley even though zachary works at an entire grocery store.

who remembers anniversaries: westley. zachary only remembers because he’s got reminders set where ever he could possible set a reminder about something like that.

who cooks normally?: neither of them <3 they’re a frozen meals/eating out kind of couple, or zachary just brings like premade hot stuff from the superstore home. neither of them is just dying to get in the kitchen.

how often do they fight?: not often. i think they’re both like solution-oriented and fighting just isn’t a solution. like there could be some bickering but ultimately they’re direct and rather than letting things blow up whether they agree with an accusation or not they look for ways to solve the problem and move on rather than try and figure out who’s right.

what do they do when they’re away from each other?: talk on discord chat for gamers, obviously. which is half a joke but also true. they keep in touch via text or discord and if they’re apart for an extended period of time, have been known to do a little gaming together even. they were internet friends first so they know how to navigate being apart pretty well.

nicknames for each other?: i don’t think they really do a lot of pet names. i think zachary might from time to time just because it feels like the thing to do but it’s hardly ever just like a natural inclination. westley is the only person zachary would let call him just zach.

what would they get each other for gifts?: i feel like they’re a little corny about gifts but ultimately they fall into the camp of like sweet and practical. in general, i see them as the type to get each other multiple small things instead of one big thing unless there’s something really specific they know the other would want. like little toys or books or fun graphic t-shirts or cool snacks just stuff like that that they wouldn’t buy themselves but would like to have.

who kissed who first?: zachary but not til he was well and sure it was appropriate make no mistake.

who made the first move?: online westley offline zachary another trivial thing they fight about is who really and actually made the first move with that in mind.

who remembers things?: westley. zachary remembers a lot of things big and little but i still feel like westley has the most comprehensive memory like he just seems the type that would just be able to recall things when zachary has to work more for it.

who cusses more?: i don’t think either of them cuss a notable amount. maybe zachary a little more but also like they just aren’t big on it idk.

#loveback #meme reply.#westley & zachary.

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2ofswords · 4 years

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for your analysis meme: clara

This is going to be so much fun and so very tough, because Clara is such an amazingly complicated character! God, I love her so much but part of that is because she is very ambivalent and hard to describe. She is one of these characters where you can find an opposite trait for every other one she has (which is kind of the point of her). Also: I still haven’t played the Changeling route in Patho1 and I have a stronger understanding of the Patho2 universe… so bear with me. I will try my best to analyse our favorite saint.

their biggest strength

I needed to think a while about this one and the term that stuck with me was attentive cleverness. Because I really couldn’t decide if I wanted to call her attentive or clever and luckily these two can be combined into something, I find pretty precise for what I want to describe. Clara is very clever and has a lot of knowledge that not really anyone else in the patho-universe can gain (or at least the amount of it, people share bits and pieces). She is the healer most aware of the meta-narrative and at least in routes that aren’t hers is telling you either that she knows more than you do or straight out telling you something, you needed to know (and probably didn’t want to). As is obvious by her focus on hands and talking her main skill is also interaction with other people… but I think a lot of it comes from the fact, that Clara is a good listener. Which seems to be counter-intuitive because listening is assigned as Artemy’s domain in the artbook, but I think the other word used – rhythms – is pretty important here. Artemy’s skill is finding connections, intuit solutions as well as similarities and differences (there is a reason he realizes his similarities to Aglaya’s description of the inquisition) and gaining cultural knowledge that he then transforms into practical and usable abilities. Clara’s “listening” is more about singular people’s well-being and personal struggle. (She is like a good therapist. If your therapist wanted to convert you into a sacrificial religion. ^^) She interacts with her surroundings directly and attentively. I mean, she is very well informed very early on without really having a live before that or at least not in town (again, I did not play the changeling route yet and do not know her origins or how ambiguous they are kept at the end. Either way, she arrives in town at the beginning of the game and navigates her way pretty well.) However only calling her attentive sounds like the trait is a passive one which is not something I mean. Both her personas as a saint and a thief use her knowledge that is gained by being attentive in unconventional ways and/or for unconventional means. As noted in the beginning, Clara is very clever and that in combination with her noticing even small discrepancies and listening to people makes her able to peek behind the curtain of the game in the first place. It also helps to get yourself into places people normally wouldn’t want a teenage girl to be and Clara knows and is fully willing to use this ability. It is both the reason why she knows so much more about the greater scope of the disaster and also why she always seems to be able to get into any place she wants to. By the way, just as an afterthought: Of course that ability doesn’t come and is in fact enhanced by empathy. I do not think, Clara is listening to people only to use them and to gain information. You can genuinely be willing to listen to someone and still use the information you get out of these conversations. Listening carefully and actively engaging with other people is a great part of that strength!

their greatest weakness

Does “not being able to hold a knife when the town wants you dead” count as a weakness? Okay seriously, I have a really hard time to put what I consider her weakness into one expressive term. So I will talk about it first at length and then we will see. What caught my mind first was ironically Clara’s problems with communication. That might be the case because, yes, I still haven’t played her route, so I am working mostly on her ways of communication with the other healers. But Clara really has a lot of strong points that she has trouble getting across or acknowledged. Sometimes that is definitely not her fault and one of her problems is, that she is not taken seriously by other people. But trying to persuade someone to their cause and emphasizing the reason with an elaborate monologue how the other healers are demons. Daniil was genuinely asking, why you wrote your letter about your destiny, it’s fine! Same happens in Pathologic 2. Saying someone to stay put when they are in a pretty bad spot already is not a bad idea and Artemy is pretty open to both warnings and clairvoyance in general but saying. “Nope, do literally nothing even if you know you want to, I am a better doctor anyways” is… yeah hurting him in his professional pride isn’t exactly a smart move. Often it feels like she really has a chance to explain and the other healers would probably listen but then there is just a terrible miscommunication. (Which is a thing for all of the healers but Clara I-am-going-to-call-your-father-a-horrible-person-while-we-are-at-his-funeral Saburova… Look, it might be true but it is also hilarious.) But putting communication skills here would still be weird, since… you know… she is pretty good at communicating in different ways! And also all three healers are pretty prone to miscommunication albeit in different ways and for different reasons… So I think we have to dig a bit deeper still… So why is this happening and hindering her? There are multiple reasons to come to this conclusion. One I would call childlike stubbornness. (Which btw. Is also one of her strengths, but… it is Clara, everything is also its opposite. God I love her so much, she is just so hard to describe, it’s amazing!) Even with all of her wisdom and cleverness… Clara is still a child. As she should be, it makes her so much more interesting! But she also has this childlike quality of just… assuming people will completely understand and accept what she is trying to see and getting frustrated the moment it doesn’t happen. This is one of her contradictions. She is so very attentive, and she can touch other people with her hands as well as her words, but she also is inexperienced and doesn’t really know a lot about the world or about how to socially approach people which can be a big problem, if she desperately needs someone to listen. The other argument would be about her role in the plot and the way she regards her own role as well as the other healers. She is the most aware one and she does indeed know a solution to the dilemma of the story (if we do not conclude that this is a three way battle, but I exclude my thoughts about the factions themselves for this. She definitely though knows how to get rid of the town vs. polyhedron conflict) but this also puts her in direct opposition to both healers. Which… you know is completely fair and not a weakness. But, she is very uncompromising about this and while all of them are – at least when they are not the main protagonists – Clara is the most unmoving and also uncompromising of the three, telling everyone always very directly how she things the others are shit. Which again, is very justified but becomes a big problem when she needs help and makes it harder for her to express her own thoughts, even if they are very justified and might even help all parties. Speaking in riddles and of concepts beyond something we would see as our reality surely doesn’t help there either.

a headcanon about their childhood

Oh dear, tbh I am not even sure how metaphorical she just crawled out of the earth at the beginning of the game and if she even has a proper childhood… I think it is pretty literal but there are allusions in Patho2 that she actually has a past? At least she speaks about it and I guess it can be as made up as real. (A classic Clara move ^^) And having no defined past is kind of a big thing for her so… sorry, no childhood headcanon here.

a headcanon about their future (if they have one)

Again, I am not really sure if she stays in town or leaves with Block and I have read fanfiction with both, so I am not sure if there is a consensus in fandom either… If she stays in town I imagine her still being with the Saburovs but I do not know, if I really like this headcanon, since abandoning your newly found orphan in the middle of a plague is really something that should revoke parent rights… But on the other thing the position among the mistresses seems to still be pretty defined at least in the endings in Patho 2. I like to see her travelling with Block at least for a while. Maybe not at the front, that would be just… bad. But she also seems like the person who would just poke their head around at random intervals and nobody really knows, when she will get back and somehow Clara still knows exactly what is going on in town… Still she also seems pretty bound to the place and she has business there… it’s a tough call. She will definitely fire up the rivalry of the mistresses by a lot though. Probably even if she is just there for a second, she would definitely sow some mischief between Capella and Maria! Another triad of petty politics for her! Yay?

a small detail/scene that leaves a great impact

Oh dear, every scene she is in is just so impactful! (Also never knowing which Clara is with you right now (if there even is a difference) doesn’t make this easier...) I really like her quest in Artemy’s run, where she is upset about not knowing what exactly she is in the first place… but that is not really a small details or scene. Same goes for the cathedral and her offer to meet the inquisitor together with Dankovsky to stand up for that whole disaster. Which is still a really heroic but also not really a small scene and there is nothing to talk about there aside from “man, is Clara brave and set on doing the right thing!” I also think the letter about her ending is really interesting because it is just so out there and giving all of her bound a demonic nickname is just so over the top, but tbh all of the ending letters are very… passionate. So this might be more the games writing even if they lampshade it and talk to each other like the other one is the only healer in town who wrote a completely insane letter… But I digress. While I love Clara’s Patho1 design, I will say that I love her shaved hair in Patho2 and the commentary the artbook has for it. Seeing it as a sign of sickness or a deliberate mark of sainthood is just so on point for her! It is a really nice visual piece for her characterization and I also think putting the beany on top of it makes it even better. It is contradicting but firstly she deliberately kind of tries to hide her own contradictions (I mean, it is not part of her! It is just the sister, she is wrong!), which is also a nice added detail. Also, she might combine contradicting elements, but god, she is doing it with style!

their philosophy/worldview (or part of it) described in one neat little sentence

I am throwing the towel! How should this even work with Clara??? She has different philosophies and worldviews! Also, I think they differ a bit between the first and second game. The first one aligns a lot with the humble faction from what we hear but in the second game her dialogue alludes more vaguely to touching and changing people and not necessarily to “The right people must die for our world to continue” which is most of what I heard from her. Hm… How about: A saint’s duty is to touch the immoral and diseased, thus one can never rid themselves of all dirt. I am not that happy with this one, but… at least it has the whole touching other people thing in it and it is about good people not being pure, which also is a theme with her. It still sounds a bit judgemental and I don’t really like this emphasis of the “dirtied” but… I mean this is what Clara talks about in her letter, so I still think it fits, even if I would dare to say that she shows a lot more compassion than this sentence shows.

#pathologic #pathologic clara #the changeling #Clara Saburova #Which tags are we using for Clara???

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alltheangstmygifttoyou · 3 years

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Chicken

A/N: Hello! I took some prompts for Learn To Be shorts and came up with three little not canon babies. This one is the saddest so I’m posting it first. It’s also the least canon. The titles are the prompts.

Summery: Jesse gets into a fight with Jester, Malcolm, Elena, and Noah.

Word Count: 1661

TW: panic attack, death, sexist language, implied suicide

"You're a chicken!" A child shouted, they couldn't be older than ten. Jesse whipped around and glared in their direction but there were too many people around to tell who could have said it. He was surrounded in a circle, and on the other side of him stood his sister who just looked tired, Lockhart who looked as pissed as all hell, the Taski girl who looked ready for a fight, and that stupid scrawny twerp that had been hanging around Jester, the cause of this whole mess. All Jesse had said was he was going to tell his father about Jesters new boyfriend, sure she'd get in a lot of trouble for having a boyfriend, something he didn't even know was true or not, but he had only expected to deal with Jesters wrath. He thought maybe Malcolm would have laughed with him. Instead he had pushed Jesse to the floor and stepped in front of the rest of them. Yelling something at Jesse about how stupid and selfish he was. Jesse didn't really get what the hell was going on but he had tried to walk away only to see that a circle had formed around them. Malcolm had been stupid enough to pick a fight with him in the common hall during dinner, everyone was fucking here, watching. Malcolm had started it. He would be the one to get in trouble. Jesse would just defend himself. He would be fine. He was in section one.

"Come on Jesse show these losers who's boss!" One of the other boys from section one shouted. Jesse frowned and crossed his arms and faced the group against him.

"You sure are feeling stupid today aren't you Lockhart? Picking a fight with me in the common hall. You just want to be taken away by authorities." Jesse said, keeping his hands tight around his arm to keep them from tapping.

"You better keep your mouth shut Jesse, I don't want to have to hurt you, but I will." Malcolm responded and Jesse felt a sharp pain in his chest. He wondered if Malcolm had jerked a bone.

"Like you can. I'll do as I please Lockhart." Jesse said before pressing fear into Malcolm. He pressed fear into him hard and fast and Malcolm collapsed gasping. He scratched at his own face yelling and kicking out with his legs. It didn't feel good to watch. Not like it did with Jester or other weakling who decided to try and fuck with him. Then the screaming started, jester winced, so did Elena, but there were other people screaming in the circle around them, falling to their knees or on their back. Then Jesse heard before he felt a crack and his arm exploded into pain. He gasped and stepped back and tried to focus on keeping the tears in his eyes. Malcolm was lashing out randomly with his power in an attempt to make the fear go away. He'd seen others do the same. Elena glared at Jesse and sent a line of flame at him which Jesse jumped out of the way of only to run into another line of flame which set his shirt and pants on fire. He got to the ground and rolled and couldn't stop the gasps of pain from his arm. By the time he was out Elena was standing over him. She didn't look happy, but she didn't look particularly anything. She just looked down at him.

"Stop it Jesse. Don't say anything about Noah and this will be over." She said and Jesse did want this to be over. But he couldn't lose to a bunch of losers.

"Go cry about it bitch." Jesse spat and started pressing fear into her too. She stood there for a long time, much too long for a normal person. He pressed harder into her and she brought up a hand that was shaking slightly and Jesse pressed harder into her than he had into anyone before, and she dropped to the floor limp.

"Elena! Jesse! What did you do?!" Jester shouted, there were still people screaming and crying out and the circle had long since thinned out to only people who could handle getting hurt. Where were the teachers?

"Fuck you bitch." Jesse responded and pressed into her. Jester grabbed her head.

"Goddammit why are you so insistent on ruining my life?!" Jester shouted with ragged breath and squeezed eyes.

"Maybe because you're always trying to ruin mine? Now why don't you curl up and cry like a good girl?" He said standing back up. There was another explosion of pain in his arm and he pressed hard into Malcolm until he too fell limp. He hadn't done that to people before. It seemed useful. At least he had gotten something out of this. Jester curled into a ball on the floor. All that was left was the twig that this had all been about. Noah stared at him with wide eyes and tears running down his face. Jesse forced small pushes of fear into Jester causing her to scream before she too fell limp. Jesse smiled. "Your turn." He told Noah, but the bottle was looking to the floor at his fallen friends.

"Did you kill them?" He asked. Jesse prayed to God that he hadn't. He didn't ever want to kill anyone. It wasn't right. They were probably just sleeping. But Noah didn't need to know that.

"Maybe, not like you're going to do anything about it." Jesse said. He felt some of the others from section one creeping up behind him, one of them put their arm on his good shoulder.

"You killed your own sister?" Noah asked, his voice hollow.

"She deserved it. Now it's your turn." Jesse said.

"Do it Jesse." One of the other boys whispered.

"Take him down." Another said. Jesse pressed fear into the small boy. He expected it to take a little amount to make the boy collapse, he was already always shaking and crying. Instead the boy started shaking, his fists tighter and he growled. His eyes locked on Jesse.

"Stop." And Jesse did. He stopped everything. No more fear, and no more moving. Noah was still shaking though, his fists tight and his teeth showing through his snarl.

"Jesse what's going on man?" Someone asked from behind him. Noah's eyes flashed to them.

"Stop!" He shouted, his voice choked from tears. Noah stopped right in front of Jesse. "You think this is fun? You think this is a game Jesse? Life and death?" Noah asked, spit splattering on Jesse's face as the taller boy looked down on him. Jesse wanted to shake his head no. "You think you have all the power. But you're wrong. They just didn't want to hurt you. Because they cared about you. But now they're gone. You killed them." Noah went on, his muscles seemed to relax all at once and he lost his snarl. He looked over to his limp friend's bodies again. "You made them die terrified. And some of them you made it slow. Do you want to know what it feels like to die slow?" Noah asked and despite not being able to move Jesse felt the chill run through his body.

"Get on your knees." Noah ordered and Jesse fought hard against it but he did it, his body didn't even hesitate. There was no shaking to indicate his struggle. There was nothing to show he was even struggling. "Raise your heart beat." And Jesse felt his heart start beating faster. "Hyperventilate." Noah said and Jesse was, fast and quick and it was like there wasn't enough air. And his heart was starting to beat faster and he couldn't breath.

"You can cry if you want to." And Jesse didn't want to cry but now he was and he couldn't stop. His chest hurt and his knees ached and his head felt light headed. His entire body burned.

"Scream." And Jesse screamed so hard that his throat felt like it was tearing. He screamed until he choked and coughed and screamed again. "That's enough." Jesse wanted to take a deep breath but he was sent right back into hyperventilating. Noah watched him, and then sat down crossed legged in front of him.

"It hurts doesn't it? This is what you do to people. This is what you put them through. I don't need you to go through this. I do it all on my own. But they were helping me through it. And they're gone now. Because of you. Because of your over driving need to be better than anyone else. You think you're better than them because you killed them? Jesse, with one word I could kill everyone in this room. That doesn't make me better. That makes me worse. And you've just been making yourself worse and worse until you did this. Unforgivable action, not only taking one life, but taking three. Just because they were trying to protect me from your family. I didn't want to believe them about what your father would do. But after seeing what you've done, I believe it. I believe the danger. But I'm not like them, I don't have hope like they do. I know there's only one solution to take care of the me problem. But before I take care of that. “Suffocate." Noah said, and all the air came out of Jesse, and no matter what he did he couldn't get any to come back in, his body collapsed to the ground and seemed to be under his own control again. He spasmed and clawed at his throat and chest trying to inhale but nothing would happen. He looked up and saw Noah staring down at him with cold eyes. And before his vision went black his ears registered sounds outside his own spasms, and it was the sound of multiple other limbs smacking against the floor too.

#learn to be #original fiction #writeblr #TW panic attack #tw sexism #tw death #tw implied suicide

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bestearbuds · 3 years

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Tips and best practices for optimizing your smart home

You’ve figured out the basics of setting up your smart home, now it’s time to raise your game. I’ve spent years installing, configuring, and tweaking dozens of smart home products in virtually every product category. Along the way I’ve figured out a lot of the secrets they don’t tell you in the manual or the FAQs, ranging from modest suggestions that can make your smart home configuration less complex, to essential decisions that can save you from having to start over from scratch a few years later.

Here’s my best advice on how to optimize your smart home tools, top tips and best practices.

1. Choose a master platform at the start These days, an Amazon or Google/Nest smart speaker or smart display can fill the role of a smart home hub (and some Amazon Echo devices are equipped with Zigbee radios).

There are three major smart home platforms on the market, and your smart home will probably have at least one of them installed: Amazon Alexa, Google Assistant, or Apple Home Kit. The industry now revolves around these three systems, and virtually every significant smart home device that hits the market will support at least one of them, if not all three.

These platforms are different, of course. Alexa and Google Assistant are voice assistants/smart speakers first, but the addition of features that can control your smart devices has become a key selling point for each. Home Kit is a different animal, designed as more of a hub that streamlines setup and management. But since Home Kit interacts , it too offers voice assistant features provided you have your iPhone in hand or have an Apple Home Pod.

All three of these platforms will peacefully coexist, but you definitely don’t need both Alexa and Google Assistant in the same home, and managing both will become an ordeal as your smart home grows larger. It’s also completely fine to use Home Kit for setting up products and then using Alexa or Google Assistant for control. If you have a Home Kit hub device (either an AppleTV or a Home Pod), you’ll want to use it, as it really does simplify setup.

2. You don’t necessarily need a smart home hub In the early days of the smart home, two wireless standards, Zigbee and Z-Wave, were going to be the future. These low-power radios offer mesh networking features that are designed to make it easy to cover your whole home with smart devices without needing to worry about coverage gaps or congestion issues.

The main problem with Zigbee and Z-Wave devices is that they require a special hub that acts as a bridge to your Wi-Fi network, so you can interact with them using a smartphone, tablet, or your computer (while you’re home and when you’re away, via the internet). Samsung SmartThings is the only worthwhile DIY product in this category at present; its only credible competitor used to be Wink, a company that is now on its third owner and which has a questionable future at best. The Ring Alarm system has both Z-Wave radios onboard, but it’s much more focused on home security than home control.

As simple as Smart Things and Ring Alarm are, you’ll still face a learning curve to master them, and if your home-control aspirations are basic, you might find it easier to use devices (and the apps that control them) that connect directly to your Wi-Fi network and rely on one of the three platforms mentioned above for integration. It’s worth noting here than the 800-pound gorilla in the smart lighting world—Signify, with its Philips Hue product line now offers families of smart bulbs that rely on Bluetooth instead, so they don’t require the $50 Hue Bridge.

That said, however, you’re limited to controlling 10 Hue bulbs over Bluetooth. The Hue Bridge is required beyond that, and it’s also required if you set up Hue lighting fixtures, including its outdoor lighting line.

The bottom line on this point: Unless you want to build out a highly sophisticated smart home system, I recommend sticking with products that connect directly to your network via Wi-Fi, rendering a central hub unnecessary.

3. Range issues can create big problems

The downside of installing Wi-Fi only gear is that everything in the house will need to connect directly to your router. If your router isn’t centrally located and your house is spread out, this can create range issues, particularly in areas where interference is heavy: the kitchen, bathrooms, and anything outside.

Your best bet is to check your Wi-Fi coverage both inside and outside the house before you start installing gear. Make a map of dead zones and decide whether you can live with them. If not, you’ll want to consider relocating your router or moving up to a mesh Wi-Fi network with two or more nodes. You can read more about mesh Wi-Fi networks here.

Interference can also be a troubling problem that changes over time. If your next-door neighbor upgrades or moves his router, you may find that an area of the house with a once-solid signal has suddenly become erratic. You can tinker with the Wi-Fi channel settings in your router’s administration tool, but deploying a mesh network is a more sure-fire solution. Netgear even has an Orbi mesh node that can be installed outdoors to cover your backyard.

4. You don’t need smart gear everywhere

Many a smart home enthusiast has dreamed of wiring his entire home from top to bottom with smart products. A smart switch in every room and a smart outlet on every wall sounds like a high-tech dream; in reality, it can spiral into a nightmare.

The biggest problem is that while smart gear can be amazingly convenient, it also adds complexity to your environment because all of it must be carefully managed. Does installing 50 firmware updates sound like a great way to spend the weekend? Or troubleshooting that one switch that just won’t suddenly connect properly? Deploying smart speakers all over house, so you don’t need to yell for one to hear you, sounds like a great idea, too—that is, until the speakers have difficulty deciding exactly which one you’re talking to.

Devices such as Leviton’s Decora Smart Voice Dimmer with Amazon Alexa make it easy to put Amazon’s digital assistant in every room, which sounds like a great idea until they start fighting each other to answer your commands. In choosing where to install smart gear, think first about necessity. The hard-to-reach socket where you always plug in your Christmas tree is a perfect place for a smart outlet that can be set on a recurring schedule. The kitchen is a great option for voice control, so you don’t need to touch anything with dirty hands. My living room feature is lighted by three lamps which would normally have to be turned off and on individually; with smart bulbs and Alexa, it’s easy to power them on with a couple of spoken words. But does the overhead light in the master closet really need to have any of these features?

And finally, there’s the obvious issue: Smart gear isn’t cheap, and outfitting a large home with smart gear can quickly become exorbitantly expensive. Think about what happens when your gear becomes outdated (and out of warranty)?

The bottom line: While it’s a great idea to install everything you think you’re going to use at the start of your project, don’t overdo it. You can always add on to your system down the road. Install smart gear only where you legitimately know you will use it.

5. Consolidate vendors It might sound like common knowledge to suggest you try to stick with a single vendor when it comes to all your switches or light bulbs, but it’s easy to be wooed by a product that promises new features or better performance. Avoid taking the bait: Over time, bouncing from one vendor to the next will leave you managing multiple apps, and you’ll likely get confused about which one goes with which device.

Many smart outlets and switches don’t carry a visible brand logo, so it isn’t always as easy as just checking the hardware itself to see where you should go. (Making matters worse, many smart products use a management app with a name that that has no relation to the hardware’s name.) And while most HomeKit-capable apps can control other vendors’ Home Kit devices, you’ll still usually need the official app to get things set up initially and to perform regular maintenance.

The good news is that Tech Hive has plenty of buying guides in almost every smart home category to help take the guesswork out of figuring out which brands to build your home around, so you needn’t experiment to find the best products on the market.

6. Give your gear short, logical names By default, many smart products will give themselves a name during setup that consists of generic terms and random digits, none of which will be helpful to you in identifying them later. It’s best to give your gear a short but logical and easy-to-remember name when you first set it up.

Start by giving all the rooms in your house a name in the management app, even if they don’t have any gear in them. (You might install equipment there later.) “Bedroom” is not a good name unless you only have only one. You’ll want to use the most logical but unique names possible here: “Master bedroom,” “Zoe’s bedroom,” “Guest bedroom,” and so on.

Now, when you install a product, standardize names using both the room name and a description of the item—or what the item controls. For example: “Master bedroom overhead lights” for a wall switch or “Office desk lamp” for a smart plug connected to said lamp. In rooms where you have multiple products, you can use a longer descriptor, numerical ID (1, 2, 3…), or something similar. In my living room, the three lamp smart bulbs are named Living room lamp left, center, and right, so if one isn’t working in the app, it’s easy for me to figure out which is which.

Doing this work up front will save you time if and when you connect your gear to a voice assistant. Not only does having a standardized, logical naming system make it easy for you to remember what to say, changing the name of a product in its app generally means having to re-discover the product within your voice assistant app, which is a hassle.

7. Wiring never looks like it does in the pictures

Manuals and online guides always make in-wall wiring look like a standard, well-organized affair, but I can assure you that many an electrician has taken some significant liberties with the way that switches and outlets are wired in the average home. Don’t be surprised to find multiple black line/load wires when you expected to find just two, strange in-wall hardware that doesn’t look like the picture, and wiring that simply doesn’t make sense.

The neutral wire required by the vast majority of smart switches and outlets is typically white. So which of these two white wires is the neutral? Of course, you can always experiment as long as you’re patient. There’s little risk of damaging the product if you miswire it the first time. Just make sure you’re turning the power off at the circuit breaker before you touch anything.

As a last tip on wiring, note that neutral (typically white) wiring is essential for most of the smart switches on the market. If there is no neutral wire in the electrical box where you want to install a smart switch, you’ll need to seek out the handful smart switches and dimmers that don’t require a neutral wire, like these C by GE models or certain switches.

8. Expect problems to emerge without warning

You know how your computer suddenly starts crashing every day, or your printer abruptly vanishes from the network? The same kind of things happen to smart home gear, which, after all, are miniature computers of their own, all prone to the same types of issues. Expect the occasional product to abruptly disconnect from your network, vanish from the management app, or stop working altogether—even after months or years of otherwise trouble-free operation, without any discernable reason. In many cases, you’ll need to manually reset the product to get it to reconnect to the app. Sometimes the app will guide you through this process, otherwise a quick Google search can get you squared away.

9. Pay attention to battery life

Devices not attached directly to the grid rely on battery power to operate. Door/window and motion sensors, smart locks, smart doorbells, many cameras, smoke alarms, and more are all likely to require regular battery replacements or recharging, and while many devices claim to last for multiple months or even years, the reality is often shorter than that.

Take stock of the batteries each of these devices use—some are truly oddball cells that you won’t have in the junk drawer—and keep spares on hand for when they die. Devices that use a rechargeable battery like the Ring Doorbell are supposed to alert you via the app when the battery is running low, so you can recharge it before it goes totally dead, but my experience is that these alerts are rarely actually delivered (or end up being ignored).

If your Ring Video Doorbell’s battery is dead, you’ll never know if someone’s ringing the bell (which, in my case, usually means a “missed delivery” slip from FedEx). I check my Ring’s battery life in the app once a week (it’s under Device Health), and when it hits about 35 percent, I remove the cell and charge it back up (you can also buy spare Ring batteries and just swap a dying battery for a freshly charged one).

10. Dimmers can be particularly problematic

Electrical dimmers like the old-school wall-mounted dial type work by lowering the amount of electrical current being sent to the load device, which will, say, lower the brightness of an incandescent bulb or slow down a fan. Unfortunately, dimmers pose particular problems for many devices. Smart home devices are especially problematic when dimmers are attached, because they contain electronics and radios that simply won’t work if the power isn’t coming through at full strength. As such, it’s a bad idea to connect devices like smart light bulbs to circuits that are connected to a dimmer.

On a similar front, you’ll need to be especially observant if you replace an old toggle switch with a smart dimmer. As a shortcut, sometimes switches are wired with pass-through circuitry that is meant to pass along current to other devices (such as a nearby power outlet). If you swap out this switch with a dimmer, you might inadvertently connect the dimmer to those outlets, causing them to lose all or partial power, making for a complex troubleshooting session.

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misssunflowersandsangria · 4 years

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The Arrangement

Chapter 8: The Challenge

Hello my darling readers! This chapter took me so long but it’s finally here! I hope that you enjoy it!

Summary: The final ritual.

Flashback

“The last one, fuck.” Shikamaru just stared, Temari looked a little rattled.

“You have to take on Garra.”

His eyes widened. “What the hell? What do you mean I have to take on Garra.”

“You have to beat him in a challenge.”

“You realize that this is the Kazekage, former Jinchuriki that literally has no weaknesses and I have shadows?”

“You don’t have to physically fight him, you get to choose the type of challenge. Normally you would have to challenge my father but thankfully that’s not the case so Garra it is.”

“You’re acting like he’s that much better of an option.”

“Trust me, he is.”

Shikamaru looked unconvinced. “Is there anything that guarantees that I get out of this alive?”

Temari just rolled her eyes. “Stop being dramatic. You issue the challenge, win, then this whole thing is over. The council gets what it wanted no one is the wiser. Then we go back to our regular lives. Everyone wins.” And yet the idea of life without him again felt so painful.

Her face took on a contemplative quality. “Believe me, if there was a way that I could challenge Garra myself for my freedom, I would, but unfortunately this is the only way.”

Shikamaru paused his complaints. Her statement brought him back to Earth, reminding him of what was actually important. He knew how much it must upset her to have to rely on him to get out of this situation. He needed to do this for her and when all was said and done, together they’d find a better way.

Temari could tell that he was wracking his brain for a solution and it made her smile. Her genius strategist. As much as he might complain she could rely on him when it mattered. They’d get through this.

She placed her hand over his that formed a circle. “Hey, you’re a lot stronger than you think. Kazekage or not I always told you that you could have become the Hokage if you really wanted to. The whole purpose is to show that the man I chose isn’t weak. He can stand side by side with the Kazekage. You can do this.”

She could see the stress leave his body her vote of confidence encouraging his resolve. “Thanks, Tem, it means a lot for you to say that.”

He paused reflecting on all the things that they’d have to do, it was a lot but it wasn't impossible and it was important.

“We can do this Temari, you believe in me and I have faith in you. We’ll get through this because you and I are great partners, we always have been.”

Temari nodded agreeing to the sentiment. They had always been much more successful working together. Her fate was in his hands and despite all that was at stake, she trusted him to come through for her.

End Flashback

“Man the food here is amazing! We’ve gotta come back when you’re not busy doing all this.” Chouji was surprised to see Shikamaru scrutinizing a Shogi board in front of him this late at night. He was probably overthinking again. Chouji took the seat across from him pouring a drink for both of them.

“Nervous about tomorrow?” Chouji asked, moving a piece. He never enjoyed playing but would indulge Shikamaru from time to time.

Shikamaru shrugged. “A little.”

Now that he and Temari admitted how they felt there was more at stake. He couldn’t let anything stand between them being together.

Chouji just waved off his concerns. “Don’t be, no one can beat you. This is your game.”

“I guess...” There were no guarantees and it would be foolish to assume he’d win easily. Neither of them was quite sure what would happen if he wasn’t able to defeat Gaara. He could only imagine that The Council would attempt to invalidate their relationship somehow. Then they would most definitely arrange another relationship for her.

“Hey, you and Temari are two of the smartest people I know. Whether you win tomorrow or not I know that if you want to be together nothing will stop you. You'll figure out a way, you always do.” There was sheer confidence in those familiar eyes.

“Thanks, Chouji, for everything.”

“We’ve all had a good time being here. It was kind of nice seeing you take on this role. As your best friend who has seen this relationship grow and heard all the complaints turn into something different, I’m happy for you and Temari. You’re good for each other, she makes you really happy. You both deserve that.” Chouji appreciated Temari’s presence in their life. Shikamaru had been through a lot and his best friend deserved to have a partner that would love and encourage him.

Shikamaru smiled at his friend, thankful for his support and friendship over the years.

They both toasted their cups tossing back a drink. “Here’s to growing up.”

“Ready for this?” Temari asked, placing an encouraging kiss on his cheek.

Shikamaru smiled with a nod pulling her into his arms, taking a moment to breathe her in. Trying to assure them both that it would all be okay.

He took a deep breath and nodded. “I think so.”

Temari’s hands reached up to cradle his face between her palms. Confidence and pride shining in her teal eyes. “Whatever happens in there it’s you and I in the end.”

Shikamaru met Garra at the center of a training room the academy students would use. The spectators all watched from above. Temari was seated between Kankurou and Yoshino, Chouji and Ino behind her. They could all tell that she was nervous and tried to be as supportive as possible.

Yoshino patted Temari’s hand affectionately. “Don’t fret my child, if he’s anything like his father, he won’t let anything stand in his way.”

Temari leaned into her, appreciating the reassurance. “Thank you, mother.”

They stared as Gaara turned to address Shikamaru.

“Nara Shikamaru, you have come this far but we will not simply give our Princess to you. You must prove yourself strong and capable, a man that is deserving of her. And so I ask you, what challenge have you brought today.”

Unwilling to shrink under the pressure Shikamaru stood there tall and confident. “I present to you a challenge that tests your critical thinking, strategy, and intellect. Qualities that are necessary for a worthy partner. Lord Gaara, I humbly request a Shogi match.”

Gaara just nodded, not at all surprised. “Your request has been granted.”

“You are better than I expected. I assumed your responsibilities as Kazekage would have prevented you from being able to play.” Shikamaru couldn’t help but compliment him.

“After you taught Temari she’d demand that Kankuro and I play with her to practice so that she could beat you one day. Our moves were constantly scrutinized compared to yours.”

Shikamaru just chuckled, of course, she did.

“Besides, after she concocted this whole plan I guessed that this was the route that you were going to go. So I planned ahead.” He was quite shrewd.

“I know that this didn’t start off real but I’m thankful that it worked out the way that it did. That you both figured out what you mean to each other.”

Shikamaru appreciated the opportunity that they had to talk to one another. “It’s been an experience. I’ve know Temari for a while now but I got to see a different side of her and Suna. I feel like I’m getting so much more out of this.”

“Take care of her for us okay?” Shikamaru looked up at him surprised by the request.

“Always.”

“Princess or not she hasn’t had the easiest life, I’m sure that you know that. You make her happy. She feels safe with you. That means a lot. She’s sacrificed so much for us and Suna. If she hadn’t met you she probably would have sacrificed her happiness as well. You’re the one selfish thing that she demanded for herself. As the Kazekage, but more importantly as her brother, thank you. I know that she can be difficult, but I know that the two of you will be very happy.”

Shikamaru didn’t have siblings growing up. The closest comparison would be his relationship with Ino and Choji. He could only begin to imagine the bond that Temari shared with her brothers, especially considering all that they’d been through. It was an honor to be welcomed into that fold.

“Can you do me a favor though?”

“Sure, anything.”

“I know that you’re so many moves ahead of me. Can you prolong the game a little longer? It wouldn’t look too good if the Kazekage loses so easily.” Garra requested with a grin. He knew that Shikamaru had him beat from the beginning but it wouldn’t do well to just have admitted defeat.

Shikamaru nodded with a smile. Garra played just like Temari did and unfortunately for him, he had multiple strategies to counter her moves.

“Not a problem. It will be a little funny to see everyone stress about it.”

“Why is this taking so long? When we play he can’t wait to show me up. Now all of a sudden he doesn’t know what to do?” Temari complained aloud. She didn’t even think that it was a possibility that Garra could beat him. What would happen if that was the case?

“Tem calm down, I know you want to ride off into the sunset with your prince but it’s kind of exciting considering it’s just a Shogi match and not a fight to the death.” She just glared in response forcing Kankuro to scoot away from her.

She looked down at where Shikamaru and Gaara were seated, annoyed, and worried. She couldn’t see the Shogi board from where they were. Shikamaru should have had Garra beat by now.

The two males in question could feel her intense glare.

Shikamaru feared meeting her gaze. “We should probably finish this up or she might actually come down here.”

“You’re right. She must really love you to be this worried.” Shikamaru blushed, rubbing the back of his neck.

They went back and forth a few more times before Shikamaru made his final move ending the game they both stood bowing respectfully to the other signaling the end.

“Nara Shikamaru you proved yourself a worthy opponent and have won this challenge.”

They were both surprised by the cheers that erupted. It seems that everyone was rooting for this outcome. Temari collapsed into her chair relieved, releasing a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. They did it. It had all managed to work out. She wanted to run down there but now came the last step, their presentation to Suna.

Temari looked up, seeing the door open revealing Shikamaru. She ran up towards him, meeting him for a kiss. After this, he was wholly and completely hers, and the world would know it too.

“How do I look?” She smiled her hands tracing over his shoulders to adjust his coat. He’d been given a set of Suna clothing to wear for their formal presentation to the village. Long fitted buttoned dark green coat with intricate gold embroidery along the seams, a swath of gold fabric hung over his shoulder. Together in her own gold silk dress with elaborate beading and jeweled crown they looked like quite a royal couple. This wasn’t how either of them were used to dressing but it was nice for just a little bit.

“You look very handsome.” There was no snark or follow up, just a genuine compliment to which he couldn’t help but kiss her.

“I love you Tem.”

Even now the statement left her breathless. Her arms wrapped tighter around him trying to take in the moment. This crazy plan of hers had worked out in such a wonderful and unexpected way.

“I love you too Shikamaru.”

* **

Gaara stood at the balcony looking over a sea of people who were waiting with eager anticipation. He was happy to see and feel the enthusiasm and joy that had been absent from his people for so long.

“People of Suna, it is my privilege to present to you our Princess Temari and Nara Shikamaru the man that she has chosen to share her life with.”

Hand in hand they stepped forward to deafening cheers and shouts of excitement.

“He has demonstrated himself as capable, embracing our people and culture. He has shown his strength and intellect through which I trust him to stand shoulder to shoulder with me. He has proven himself worthy of our Princess. Shikamaru, Temari, I along with the Council and the people of Suna, and Konoha approve and bless this relationship. It is our hope that it will only continue to strengthen and that we may see your example of love as one that inspires all of us.”

The crowd began to cheer and celebrate wildly excited for their relationship and it’s influence and effect on Suna.

Temari and Shikamaru smiled and waved, neither one enjoying the attention but humbled by the support. Shikamaru was thankful that the land and people that Temari loved so much could accept him as one of their own.

They remained there for a few moments longer before stepping away and retreating into her room. They had one family dinner left and this would all be done.

Away from the crowds, and cheers, the silence was welcoming. It was also a stark reminder that he’d be going home soon, they’d both be returning to their daily lives

“Come here.” Temari slid into his open arms, head rested against her favorite spot on his chest. She took a moment to savor the feeling of his arms around her and the steady beat of his heart. Why did it take them so long to figure this out? They had years to sort out their feelings and once they finally had he was leaving.

“I don’t want you to go.” She knew that he couldn’t stay. He’d already put his entire life on hold for her for a month but that didn’t stop the selfish request.

“I know Tem, I hate that we’re so far apart.” Saying goodbye to her always hurt but especially now. He didn’t care about what they had to do next. He’d happily go through it if that meant they could always be together. Shikamaru pulled back to take her hand in his before placing them on the pendant of her necklace.

“I’m always right here.”

She squeezed her eyes tightly refusing to let those tears fall. She wasn’t losing him, he was finally hers. They would just need to be apart for a little, it would make being together that much sweeter.

“Shika after dinner tonight can you come back here?” She asked shyly a blush painted across her cheeks. She needed to soak in as much time together as possible.

He nodded before his lips met hers. His tongue tracing the seam of her lips before they parted allowing him to explore her mouth. He felt himself becoming drunk off her taste and sweet sighs of contentment. His hands grasped along the curve of her waist, her warm skin beneath his fingertips. She was incredible. His troublesome, perfect Sand Princess.

“Nothing could keep me away.”

The Arrangement:

Chapter 1: The Set- Up

Chapter 2: The Proposition

Chapter 3: The Participants

Chapter 4: The Declaration

Chapter 5: The Fear

Chapter 6: The Performance

Chapter 7: The Meaning

Chapter 8: The Challenge

Do you ever like refall in love with characters? I feel like that happened while I read through my previous chapters and while writing this one. I love these two so much!!!

We’re almost to the end. I think the next update might come even slower than this one...I’m going back and forth between a few ideas and I might write a smutty chapter as a follow-up but that’s still to be seen. At most there should only be three more chapters then this story will be all done. I hope that you’re all doing okay, healthy, and well. Keep taking care of yourself and others! Love you!

#shikatema #shikatem #shikamaru x temari #princess temari #fake dating #sand siblings #nara clan #fanfic

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cardandpixel · 4 years

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RocketBook Flip - a rare review and it’s not a game!

Before I go any further, I feel I must point out that I don’t have any financial connection to RocketBook whatsoever – this isn’t a piece that was requested or courted by RocketBook or affiliates and I’m not receiving any reward or sponsorship either in product or direct payment for this article. I just like the damn thing and love it when an innovative piece of tech (in this case quite low key) just works. Hi I’m Paul, and I have a bit of a problem with notebooks – A4 lined, sketch, reporters, Black & Reds (ohhhh the sheer number of B&Rs), goofy ones, serious work ones, battered ones, pristine ‘for best only’ ones – and they all fill at an alarming rate. I make notes on everything. Working as a sound engineer and designer, there’s always mix notes, soundscape plots, ideas, VO notes and scripts, SFX ideas etc etc. At home it’s a very different story – it’s much worse. Game notes; blog notes; hurriedly scribbled quiz questions spurred by watching another episode of Mental Floss’ 500 facts about cheese; RPG notes and story ideas; my own script writing; world building; sketches; other creative ideas; song/music notes and ideas; and that’s before we get to to-do lists; and the dreaded ‘things I must remember’. So my journal life is many, varied and plenty. The usual issue is… ‘what frakking journal did I put that amazing idea in????’, and that’s way before we get to the utter horror that is possibly losing a whole journal or forgetting to bring one home from work. I’m 53, I forget more than I recall, and journals help bring some semblance of order to a massively chaotic and fertile brain. What I’ve needed for a long time is some way of organising all this info or centralising it in some way. Sure I’ve looked at apps – I used Things, Evernote, Notes, and One Note for years, and they are really, really good, but they relied on either having a charged device exactly when I need it (yeah – me too) or net access, which for a new-ish theatre, is surprisingly a bit of an issue at work. And the most important part – I actually enjoy the physical act of handwriting long-hand. I still write actual physical letters to people, it’s adorable and a bit creepy in this age, but I call it charming and leave it at that. Handwriting, for me, allows me time to think and process in a way that typing just doesn’t. Handwriting is slower, I rarely cross anything out, and so I always have the whole of the thought. So what I’ve ideally wanted for years, was a reliable way of organising all my notes and storing them electronically so I have access even without the actual journal, with OCR so they’re editable, and still being a tactile handwritten experience. I’m naturally a sceptic (I actually subscribe to Fortean Times – yeah – I card carry!) and so online ads and particularly FaceAche ads are a field day for critical thinking triggers. I don’t think I’ve ever received from Wish, exactly what I ordered from Wish. And so when an ad from RocketBook constantly kept popping up on my timeline a few weeks ago, I was naturally “it’ll never work” But their website looked legit enough – they had a dedicated UK shop, it was relatively steep to buy in but not so wild that if it didn’t work I wouldn’t be crying too much about the money wasted, and at the end of the day it was a 10th the price of a ReMarkable 2 which is actually what I thought would solve my problem. I’m furloughed at the mo and though I could argue the case for £300+ notebook (test me, I could), I just couldn’t justify it now. And RocketBook had a good summer intro offer. I ordered on the Wednesday, and the impressively glitzy and graphic-design-playbook poly package was dropped on my doorstep just 2 days later by my cheery postie who yelled up the drive “Package for ya, looks very exciting!!!!” I like that our postal service is still invested in the hopes and dreams of their customers. It was exciting. All the instructions for getting started with my new Teal RocketBook A4 Flip were right there before you even open it. The main body houses the pad and a cleaning cloth, and a clever little side pocket houses the supplied Pilot Frixion pen.

RocketBooks come in several models, all configured slightly differently. I have the Flip which is a top spiral-bound softback pad with 21 double sided ‘pages’ giving 42 pages in total. The Flip has lined paper one side, and dot paper on the reverse (great for D&D maps, impromptu tables, mixer channel plots etc)

DELIVERY & FIRST IMPRESSIONS The pads are nicely made, with sturdy covers (available in some really nice colours too) and a solid, thick plastic ring binding. Initially, The RocketBook does feel a bit odd. Its ‘pages’ are actually a synthetic polyester blend and feel quite shiny to the touch. The sort of surface you just instantly feel is not going to be great for ink! Each page is edge-to-edge lined or dotted with a heavy black border. At the bottom is a prominent QR code used for scanning and some very feint icons. These 7 icons are the key to the ease of use of the RocketBook series. But more later.

THE APP

The pads work with a companion app, that is absolutely free and available for Apple & Android. In fact, RB even do downloadable printable pages so you can try the whole system absolutely free before you buy – I didn’t, I just bought one, y’know. The app allows you to set up your destination locations, your preferences and does the actual scanning. Just one quick note, I have the app on both my phone and iPad and had to set-up the app the same for both, there appears to be no way of swapping preference settings between devices, though I can see why this may be intentional.

Currently, the RocketBook allows you to choose from the following locations to send files to: GoogleDrive, box, EverNote, DropBox, slack, OneNote, iCloud, OneDrive as well as simply to an email (or multiple) addresses and iMessage. Impressively, these are not fixed either, so you could choose your 7 destinations to be 7 email addresses of team members. These 7 locations are the icons at the bottom of each page. To select a destination for your file, you just make a mark in that icon box (tick, circle, something unsavoury) and that page will be sent to whichever you select. This makes the system very flexible indeed as not every page is necessarily sent to every destination. You always decide every time you fill a page. Change your mind on a second revision? No problem, add or change icons at any time and re-upload.

There’s a really handy table on the inside front cover for you to note what icon sends what where. This is also wipeable, so can be changed anytime.

I have mine set by default to:

Rocket > main email address (either as PDF, JPG, OCR embedded or as separate txt file)

Diamond > GoogleDrive (you can specify exactly what folder too)

Apple > iMessage

Bell > OneNote

That actually still leaves me 3 spare: shamrock; star; and horseshoe.

The app took me maybe 20mins to set-up, that included decision time for destinations and setting up a few target folders. It also included a few ‘test firings’. I didn’t get everything right first time and a few things didn’t send, but crucially, a tiny bit of digging revealed very simple troubleshooting (including the aforementioned issue with no sync’ing of phone and iPad), and all in I was finding the files in all the right destinations within about 30 mins. The website, FAQs and community are immensely helpful with any other issues as well. I had a tiny issue with OneNote seeming to take ages to sync, but I think that’s an issue with my OneNote settings, everything else was almost instantaneous. You can also handily set the app to auto-send as soon as it scans, or allow for manual review.

CLEAN UP ON AISLE ROCKETPAD The main reason I wanted to look at the RocketBook was the issue of reusability. My journal shenanigans are by no means the biggest ecological disaster on the planet, but if we are to believe Tesco (who probably issue as many receipts at our local Tesco Express in a day as journals I’ve ever used), every little helps. If I could find an ecologically better solution, I should at least take a look. The RocketPads work by partnering with Pilot pens called Frixion. The really clever bit is RB’s paper technology and how it works with the Frixion ink. At present, the pads only work with the Frixion pens – except the RB Colour which works with Crayola’s dry-erase crayons. When you write on the ‘paper’ with a Frixion pen, it remains wet for a few seconds and then dries pretty quickly. There’s no smudging whatsoever in transit, which is pretty cool. From then on, it may as well be permanent, until you have transmitted your page and decide you don’t want the text anymore. To wipe the page clean, you can dampen the supplied cloth and just wipe the surface clean, it’s weird but it works! But then damp cloth in your bag? So I use kitchen roll to dampen, then wipe dry with theirs. Others even have an adorably kitsch spray bottle in their kit. RB reckon if you are not going to use the pad for a few months, to clean the pages as the ink can get trickier to shift after a long time, but for day-to-day use, I’ve tried writing and wiping well over 20x and the page hasn’t become discoloured or tarnished at all. The only pad different in the range is the Wave which cleans by microwaving! Do NOT do this with any of the others, bad things will happen. The ink doesn’t take scrubbing or any time to come up, I clean my pages in about 10-15s. The page can feel a little tacky when it’s damp, but leave a minute or so and the page will be back to normal. RB do say that odd things can happen if the book is left near a heatsource or in a hot car, vis-à-vis, the ink can completely disappear horrifyingly enough. They say that putting the pen or the pad in the freezer for a little while will actually restore the ink, but I’ve not tried it yet so can’t confirm or deny how that goes. Handy for spies in hot countries though, so there’s another target market. If you are always going to send your pages to the same places, then don’t erase the marked icons, and the page is ready for new notes straight away, otherwise, scrub them too.

I CAN’T READ YOUR WRITING – ARE YOU A DOCTOR? Initially, the RB pads send their files as scans of the pages in high contrast monochrome (colour is available) when you snap the page in the app (which auto-frames for you and takes maybe 10s to capture). The formats are either as images or PDF. If that had been it, I would have been quite happy, but the RB pads have another trick up their sleeve. Firstly, they have a function called ‘Smart Titles’ which allows you to name your files directly from the page by writing a filename between double hashtags ie ## this is my scrawl 24/8/20 ## and the file will pop up in your destinations with the filename “this is my scrawl 24/08/20” – this is insanely handy – there’s no protocol except your own and the hashtags, and it makes your files super easy to search. You can even send groups of pages as a single PDF. But the notebooks go even further. They actually offer full searchable OCR which the app can be set to send embedded in the PDF or image, or more usefully, as a companion separate .txt file. Now, my handwriting isn’t the neatest, but it’s not bad so I was prepared for some editing to be necessary, but impressively again, the OCR was about 90-95% accurate. In a page of text it missed maybe 3 or 4 words and even those not badly. This is all considering their full OCR is still only in beta! It gets confused with diagrams on the page, but that’s to be expected.

Text Generated by OCR: ## Blog post och test Aug 2020 ## This is a little demonstration of the OCR capabilities of the Rocket Book pads and app. I've told the lovely people that the hit rate is about 90-95% so please dant let me down here flip pad. Hopefully the file name will also prove another point further up in the section and not make me look like some charlatan or snake-oil salesman.Hope you enjoyed this demonstrahen, now go away and leave me to write the next great novella.Bye!

HOW MUCH? On average, I pay anywhere from £4-8 for a decent A4 notebook/journal, so at £30-37 (dependent on model), the RocketBook pads are not a whim purchase. That said, I get through a lot of journals in a year, and given that I would expect to easily get 2-3 years out of a RocketBook pad, then I’ve saved money. Will it replace all my notebooks? No. You need to be thinking of carrying this round as a kit: pad, Frixion pen (at least 2), and cloth. RB do a series of portfolio sleeves for the pads but it does push the price up a bit still, but for a rep, engineer or salesperson, this still makes sense. They’re less bulky than a normal A4 pad too. What I would say is Tesco and Sainsbury’s currently stock Frixion pens and at much better prices than buying them from RB directly, I just paid £3 for 3 pens on offer at Tesco compared to £10 from RB. You get one pen with the pad, but you’re going to want more soon, so stock up next time you’re shopping for truffle oil crisps. If you use whiteboards a lot, RB also have you covered. Instead of the pad, £16 will get you a 4 pack of ‘beacons’ – little self-adhesive triangles that effectively do the same thing as the QR code in the pad. You don’t have the icon options obviously, but if you’re looking to distribute quick meeting or group notes, this would be a boon. CONCLUSION Considering this was a fairly speculative purchase on my part, my early experiences with the RocketBook Flip have been really impressive. The flexibility, the ability to store every page in a different location if you really wanted to make it fantastic for organising my notes, which can save me hours of finding the right ^^$&^$&$ notebook in the first place, then scouring that for the one paragraph I was looking for etc etc. The searchable text facility, in-app history for re-sending etc and last but no way least, functional handwriting OCR, makes the RocketBook not only novel, but actually useable! Would I buy another? As a second notebook – yes. I look forward to seeing what the actual longevity of the product is once I come off furlough and start cramming my day bag with all my junk and a notepad again, but yes, I’d probably just have one at home, and one for work, but make the last 5 mins of each day, scanning and sending work notes so I have them with me wherever. Impressively, the RocketBook Flip just works and it works well. ‘Er Across The Table has already sold several folk at her work on the idea and she doesn’t even have one herself yet! I love it. It’s taking a little adjusting to, but it’s all good. The most important thing though is the writing experience, and I have to say, the combination of the Frixion pen/ink and the polymer technology of the Flip, again, just works. It’s smooth, doesn’t skip or smudge for me (I know some right to left users and left handers have reported some issues) and feels great to write on. If anything I have to slow down a bit as the contact is so smooth that your writing can get a bit ahead of you! RocketBook have produced a cracker of a product. It might not seem like much, but if practical working journals are your thing (ie not create and keep things) then I can highly recommend the RocketBook series.

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