#I wonder what happens if I do. Kim still would have to be my partner

[bluastro-yellow]

there's only one end-of-the-day debrief :'( ?!?

[daisyvisions]

hey bestie do you have any thoughts on boyfriend hyunjae letting his best friend sunwoo fuck you bc he knows sunwoo has the biggest crush on his partner 🥺 asking for a friend… quite literally 🐶

A/N: with pleasure 😘 say hi to your friend for me 😉

Anything For My Bestest Friend

Members: Lee Hyunjae & Kim Sunwoo

Warnings: Smut (18+, minors DNI), p in v sex, squirting, mentions of eating, semi voyeurism themes, a lil possessive Hyunjae, lil pervy Sunwoo, pet names (sweetheart, bunny, etc), mentions of breeding ‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆. ✧˚₊‧⋆‧‧⋆ ✧˚₊‧⋆.

How Hyunjae found out about Sunwoo’s fat crush on you was rather… unexpected.

You’d think maybe Hyunjae noticed the way Sunwoo was looking at you or how his face would light up whenever you entered the room, but it was none of that at all. In fact, it happened one day when Hyunjae came over Sunwoo’s place.

While Hyunjae waited for Sunwoo to get out of the shower, he noticed Sunwoo’s porn tab wasn’t closed (typical). Hyunjae was amused at first, wondering what kind of shit his best friend watches.

But what Hyunjae didn’t expect was that the woman in the video looked incredibly similar to you. At first Hyunjae thought it was just his imagination, but he decided to see if his theory was true by bringing up his sex life later during dinner.

This obviously caught Sunwoo by surprise to say the least. Hyunjae can be quite the blabber mouth but not when it’s about you especially intimate information like the sensitive spots on your neck, and the position that makes you squirt.

What the fuck is Sunwoo supposed to do with this information now? But Hyunjae was just having the time of his life seeing Sunwoo get all nervous.

He doesn't know where it came from but he suddenly thought of maybe even letting Sunwoo get a taste of you just one time (which was rather uncommon for him since Hyunjae can be quite…. possessive).

“C’mon sweetheart, it will be fun I promise.” Hyunjae coos in your ear while fucking you against the kitchen counter.

“Fuck- D-do we really have to talk about this now?” you whine. Why was Hyunjae even proposing his plan to let Sunwoo fuck you while he was pounding you at this moment was beyond you.

“Please, I just- I just wanna make my best friend happy okay? And what better way to let him get a taste of your sweet sweet pussy hm?” he drives a particularly hard thrust as he says the last word.

But you can hear the sincerity behind it. You know how Hyunjae is when it comes to his friends. They always come first in his list and that’s something you’d always admired about him.

Eventually you agreed to the little plan he had for Sunwoo.

“Remember, he can’t cum inside you. Okay?” Hyunjae whispers to you as he pumped his fingers in and out of your wet cunt prepping you for Sunwoo’s arrival.

“Y-yes… He won’t. That’s only for you-” you moan as you slowly come down from your high.

“Good bunny.” Hyunjae replies.

-----------------

When Sunwoo had gotten home, he was surprised to see Hyunjae sitting and waiting on the couch. “Perfect you’re home! We’ve been waiting for you” Hyunjae exclaims.

“W-we?” Sunwoo questions.

“Yes! Your gift is just waiting in your room. Go see for yourself…” Hyunjae grins from ear-to-ear.

The moment Sunwoo opened his door he was expecting to see clothes, new parts for his pc, etc. He did not expect to see your naked body sprawled out on his bed AT ALL.

“OH MY GOD!” Sunwoo immediately covers his eyes, in a state of shock at the sight before him. He felt his cock throb so hard seeing a glimpse of your tits and soft curves, the very image he often thinks about at night when he’s pumping his cock harshly with his fist.

But before Sunwoo has time to make a run for it, Hyunjae shoves him inside his room and locks the door, leaving him and you alone.

“Hyung what the fuck!” Sunwoo shouts, his hands still covering his eyes though he desperately wants to peek through his fingers to see your body again.

“Sunwoo…” you call out for his name in a sing-song manner. “Open your eyes honey, it’s okay.”

He slowly uncovers his eyes and he’s greeted by your naked figure sitting at the edge of the bed. He’s trying so hard not to freak out about the situation but it’s so hard when all he’s thinking about is sucking on your tits.

“What the hell is going on?” Sunwoo asks you.

“Honestly? I’m not sure but Hyunjae told me about this plan so here I am. Like what you see?” You smile prettily at him.

Sunwoo doesn’t move from his spot, still in shock at everything that’s happen so far.

“Sunwoo… won't you come play with me. Please?” You pout and give him your most doe-eyed look. How can he say no especially when you look at him that way and call at his name like that?

“Fuck it-” Sunwoo mutters under his breath as he quickly strips down naked and kneels down in front of you to finally have a taste of your sweet cunt.

It’s been a couple of minutes since Hyunjae left you both alone, watching tv while he waits for this to be over and done with. He could hear your sweet sweet moans through the wall. The moans that fuel the fire inside him.

Though for some reason your moans were sounding a little too sweet… not even as sweet as when you two are together. So he goes and checks in on you and Sunwoo for “safe” measure.

Hyunjae knocks on the door and peeks in and is greeted by the sight of Sunwoo pounding you from behind which locking you in place with his arm wrapped around your neck.

“How's my best friend doing? Enjoying yourself?” Hyunjae asks Sunwoo. But all he gets in reply are low grunts and groans as Sunwoo’s eyes flutter shut from the tightness of your cunt wrapping around his cock.

“And what about you sweetheart? Enjoying yourself too?” Knowing Hyunjae, that was a trick question.

“Y-yeah. But not as good as your cock H-hyunjae…” And that’s exactly what Hyunjae wanted to hear from you.

“Sunwoo, I told you how to get her to squirt right? You should try it. It’s quite a sight to see” You squint your eyes at Hyunjae while he smirks back at you in response. You mentally curse him for telling Sunwoo about that very intimate detail.

Sunwoo wastes no time and quickly pulls his cock out, flips you around and lays you down on the bed. He holds your thighs down folding you like a pretzel and immediately pushes his length inside you once again.

And just like clockwork, you do end up squirting all over Sunwoo’s cock and on his sheets (which he won’t be washing for a while). He returns the favor by releasing his load all over your stomach, painting your soft skin with his hot white cum.

As Sunwoo starts putting back his clothes on and leaving his room, Hyunjae stops him.

“Where do you think you're going?” You and Sunwoo both look at Hyunjae in confusion.

“Since you like watching porn of women that look like Y/n-” He pauses for a brief moment, looking into Sunwoo’s embarrassed eyes.

“-Why don’t you sit down and watch me fuck her this time? I swear, she’s got the prettiest look on her face when I breed her like my little bunny…”

[moonbyulsstuff]

May I request how they react when their gf meet her ex bf and they get jealous? The characters are Jake, Hudson, Jihan, & Diego. Thanks!

They Get Jealous After Meeting Your Ex.

Female Reader.

Requested.

Masterlist.

Request Rules.

Diego Kang:

The two were out on a date, Diego was wearing a cover-up since the both of them don't want a commotion and want a peaceful date.

He pulled down his mask and took a sip from his drink as [Name] were telling him a story about what happened in herr workplace but then someone called out her name.

"[Name]?"

She looked up and saw her ex Yuk JIn-Sang, the two of them smiled. "Jin-Sang! How you been?" She stood up and hugged the male who hugged back. "I have been doing fine, how about you?" He asked as the two let go while Diego watched with jealousy.

He wondered as who this man was and what his relationship with [Name] is, he gritted his teeth as the two converse happily but then Jin-Sang noticed Diego. "Oh, and who is this?" He asked as Diego stood up and held out his hand.

"Hello, my name is Go Daewon, [Name] boyfriend."

"Nice to meet you, Daewon."

The two shook hands as Diego had a fake smile plastered on his face, they let go as Jin-Sang looked at [Name]. "Welp, I gotta go now. See you two." Jin-Sang said as [Name] nodded as the male walked away.

"Who was that?"

Diego asked as the two sat back down. "Oh that was my ex." Diego eye twitched as he basically learned that the two used to date, [Name] chuckled at Diego reaction and kissed his cheek.

"Don't worry, he's already dating someone else."

"I'm not jealous." "Yeah, keep saying that."

Jihan Kwak:

"[Name]!" The two looked around and [Name] was immediately in the air as a pair of arms wrapped around her, she looked down and saw her ex.

"Chin-Hwa!" The male put her down as [Name] hugged him. "How are you?" She pulled away from the hug as Jihan watched in jealousy, he had known of the male from the start as he met him a couple of months ago. He didn't expect that she were friends with her ex.

But the two broke up in good terms, he fell out of love, [Name] fell out of love. So the two broke up but still remained as friends as there were no grudges towards each other.

Even though Jihan knows that Chin-Hwa already has a partner, he still can't help but get jealous when her ex is really friendly.

He walked towards them and pulled [Name] to him. "Well, see you soon Chin-Hwa! Me and [Name] have better stuff to do." He said as she looked at him as jealousy was clear as day when she looked at his face, [Name] internally chuckled.

"Well, you see soon!" "Bye!" The two walked away as she chuckled making Jihan look at you. "What's funny?" She looked with him a sly smile. "Nothing, you just look so cute being all jealous." "I am not." "You were." "Not." "You were."

Hudson Ahn:

Hak-Kun sweatdropped as he felt Hudson stare at him, [Name] were introducing the two to each other since it was their first time meeting each other.

"And Hak-Kun, this is my boyfriend Hudson Ahn." "Nice to meet you Hudson." He held out his hand as Hudson stared at it before shaking their hands. "Nice to meet you to.." Hak-Kun can just feel the jealousy emitting from the man in front of him.

They pulled their hands away as Hak-kun decided it would be best if he should get away since he could that Hudson practically wants to murder him right now.

"Well, then I'll get going now... bye." He ran as you sighed and glared at Hudson who looked at you. "What?" She sighed and shook her head.

"You're jealous.." "And what if I am?" "And I told you to be less threatening about it, you know that Hak-Kun loves someone else now." Hudson sighed and hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Sorry darlin', I promise I would... try to be friendly with him at the very least."

"I hope you can.

Jake Kim:

Even though Jake was smiling right now, anyone can feel the jealousy emitting from him.

His unchanging smile and his crossed arms as he watched, [Name], his girlfriend converse with someone. He was gripping tightly the bag he was holding as he also learned that this person she were carelessly talking with is your ex boyfriend.

He was glad that it wasn't a toxic ex or an abusive one, he was glad that both left on good terms, but it still made him jealous actually.

"So, yeah. That's how I met Jake." August nodded. "I'm glad you were able to find someone [Name], how about I invite the two of you next time on a double date along with my girlfriend?" He offered as she nodded.

"Sure! I also would like to meet your girlfriend!" "You two would go along great."

[Name] chuckled as August bid his farewell and left, she looked back to Jake and saw jealousy coming from him. She smirked and walked towards him. "Let's go Jake." The two continued to walk around until the silence was broken by [Name]. "Don't be jealous Jake, he already has a girlfriend."

"I'm not." "Yeah, keep sayin' that."

[remcycl333]

What does Kim Velez say about inner conversations in the video? What made it easy for you to manifest in this video? My English is so bad that I want to watch the video but I don't understand anything. Could you briefly summarize what Kim Velez said? If you don't mind, could you summarize the Dylan James video please?

grateful for everything💘

hi! i'd be happy to do that for you :)

disclaimer: it's been a while since i've watched these videos so this is just a summary of the things that i took from them and got results from and use to this day!

this is the Kim Velez video that really helped me for anyone who wants to watch it (it starts at 3:20 lol). it helped me specifically with manifesting a specific person, but you can apply this to any of your desires. at the time i was watching Sammy Ingram and had the belief that i had to repeat the same exact affirmation over and over again every second of the day (example: my SP is constantly texting me). i would monotonously repeat the same affirmation all day long and had the limiting belief that you could only manifest if you use the same exact wording every time. this is NOT TRUE! but Sammy had instilled this limiting belief in my mind at the time. in this video by Kim, she talks about how saying affirmations all day long with the intent to create something and bring it into your 3D is not sustainable. part of the reason is because you're not fully living in the end. you're saying affirmations obsessively in order to get something instead of accepting the fact that it's already yours and creation is already finished.

[disclaimer: if repeating the same exact affirmations all day long works for you, continue doing this. but if you feel like this isn't working for you because you feel like you're obsessively saying affirmations in order to get something and you would like to change that, maybe this will help you. in the video, Kim points out that those types of affirmations work and will still get you what you want, but she suggests that you test out inner conversations and choose for yourself which feels better]

this is where the inner conversations come in. inner conversations are how you are talking to yourself in your mind throughout the day. it's your inner monologue. you want to manufacture inner conversations that you would naturally have if you already had your desire.

for instance, whenever i was manifesting my SP, this is an example of one of the conversations i would create in my mind:

"i love my SP so much, he is the best boyfriend i could ever have asked for. he is just so loving and attentive and perfect. i seriously can't wait to see him tomorrow. we're gonna have so much fun! we're gonna go on a cute little date and have a picnic! omg, i wonder what i should wear? maybe i'll wear my pink skirt..." and then i'd go on to plan my outfit and think about things that would happen on the date.

this literally helped me so much. i know it sounds kinda silly to plan an outfit in your head lol, but i remembered the inner conversations i would have when i was dating someone in the past and tried to recreate those. you don't have to plan an outfit or date if that doesn’t feel natural to you. that’s just what i did.

here is a transcript of what Kim Velez’s example of an inner conversation is in her video:

 “oh my god I’m in the best relationship of my life. I am so fucking amazing, I love the way this person loves me. I feel so loved and supported and valued and I am the fucking best. man it feels so good, no one can compare to me. I am such an amazing partner, my person appreciates me so fucking much. it is just so magnificent waking up to this person every day. i literally have the life that i fucking dreamed of.”

obviously Kim’s version is a lot more mature sounding than mine lol cuz i have the inner monologue of a young Gen Z girl. but that’s what i mean! don’t just repeat mine or Kim’s inner conversations in your mind, craft them to sound like thoughts/conversations you would naturally have! if you want you can write down a little script in your notes app or in a journal to give you an idea of what to say. but don’t repeat it monotonously every time, you can add random details every time.

obviously this takes a little more focus than just repeating the same exact affirmations over and over again, so i would do this while doing mindless activities such as dishes, cleaning, laundry, working out, showering, etc.

💛⭐️🌼🐝🍌🌙🍋🌟🌻

now for the summary of the Dylan James videos. I won’t link a specific one because this is what I learned from watching multiple videos of his. but Dylan really emphasizes the idea of it is done. what he recommends is when your desire pops into your mind to simply say “it is done” and force yourself to think about something else. this idea was kinda shocking to me at first because--like i said before--i had the limiting belief of having to repeat affirmations all day long. but i tried it out and it got me results SO. FAST.

basically the idea behind this is that you’re subconscious mind already knows what you want. you don’t have to keep telling it, it knows. declaring that you have something once is enough for it to manifest.

this is an analogy that has been used so many times but i love it so much. think of your affirmations as a seed. you declare “i have my desire.” that is you planting the seed. you have to trust that the seed will grow into a flower. in real life, if you plant a seed, it will not grow if you keep digging it up and making sure that it’s there and that the stuff you are doing to help it grow is working. manifesting is the same. if you keep thinking “it is working? is it coming soon? is it here yet?” you will be putting focus on the fact that it’s not here yet, instead of the fact that it is done and finished.

another thing Dylan emphasizes in his video is Trust. you have to trust that your manifestation is coming. you have to trust your subconscious mind, trust the process. you can’t keep obsessively worrying about it and whether or not it will happen/manifest. you have to trust that it’s done.

in his videos, Dylan encourages people to distract themselves throughout the day and to not think about your desire. like i said earlier, if you find yourself thinking about your desire, stop yourself and say “it’s done. it is so done I don’t even have to think about it” and force yourself to think about something else.

what i think is really helpful about this technique is that if you don’t think about your desire at all, then you don’t think negative thoughts about it. also by trusting the law and yourself so much that you can’t even be bothered to think about it is like a serious confidence and self-concept boost i swear. this is how i manifest most things because it literally works so fast for me. like within a day.

These two different “techniques” (for the lack of a better word), inner conversations and distracting yourself, can either be used together or separately. if you just want to do inner conversations, you can. if you want to do inner conversations during mindless activities and distract yourself and say “it is done” for the rest of the day, you can. or if you just want to throw yourself completely into never thinking about your desire anymore like Dylan James suggests you can do that.

or you can do none of these things! these are just the things that finally helped me to start manifesting consistently and gave me a huge breakthrough last year. if they resonate with you, great! if they don’t, you don’t have to do them. whatever feels natural and right to you :)

i’m sorry for the super long response LOL i didn’t expect to write this much. but i really hope this helps and makes sense! feel free to ask any further questions you may have :) !

[nerdacious]

So now that the fic has been finished for a bit I have some questions about the making of Partners and Paper Trails. I'm just curious about what it was like to write it (and wondering whether my experiences writing for this fandom are universal). No pressure to answer!

Generally speaking, did you find Harry's chapters or Kim's chapters harder/easier to write?

Which parts of the fic (either POV) were your favorite to write? Alternatively, which parts were unexpectedly frustrating?

From what I understand, you wrote the entire fic ahead of time and then edited it as you went along, but didn't start publishing it until the first draft was entirely finished. Do you have any advice for someone who's attempting to write a long fic following a similar process?

(as a secret fourth question, if there's any hidden lore/details that people didn't seem to pick up on/something else fic related you want to share and haven't had the opportunity to, I'm all ears. love me some secret lore 👀)

Sorry it took me so long to respond, I was working on my response instead of working and then I was like crap, I should probably do work, and then I actually went out and did stuff with people irl for once lol. So now I'm back home and can answer this!

Generally speaking, did you find Harry's chapters or Kim's chapters harder/easier to write?

There were aspects of both that were difficult. I spent a whole other fic in Kim's head so I had more practice with him, but I think Harry ended up being a little easier or at least more fun. I could break up reactions and thoughts into each of his aspects vs the solid paragraphs of Kim's chapters. You also can just do more wacky stuff with Harry and his skills. However, it was hard to remember all of the skills. Like, I did Encyclopedia so dirty. After a point I kind of just forgot about him or didn't feel like thinking up facts for him to chime in about lol

Which parts of the fic (either POV) were your favorite to write? Alternatively, which parts were unexpectedly frustrating?

My favorite thing to write is dialogue, especially when Kim and Harry are really getting into the groove of the case and when they get their little banters going. I also really like competence porn so Harry wasn't nearly as much of a mess as he could be in game. It was a bit of a wish fulfillment fic in that I wanted to see Harry doing better for himself and not just for Kim. I think directly after Martinaise he probably was doing worse than the point he's at in the start of the fic.

The hardest part was writing the case and trying not to make it too obvious (but it definitely was so I had to hope people enjoyed it regardless haha). I'd never done a mystery before so coming up with what happened and how/what they discovered was challenging. So I guess that's not really unexpectedly difficult. Writing the actual porn was unexpectedly frustrating! A majority of what I write is smut so it was like "why is this so difficult???". I had to get that last chapter perfect (I still don't think it is, but what writer ever does) because I dragged it out long enough and I didn't want to let anyone down. It's very different from what I originally had. I also had never written d/s before, thankfully my editor has experience in that realm so he had really good pointers even though it's really light in the fic lol. I still don't know how successful I was with the smut for this one.

From what I understand, you wrote the entire fic ahead of time and then edited it as you went along, but didn't start publishing it until the first draft was entirely finished. Do you have any advice for someone who's attempting to write a long fic following a similar process?

Some people can just write and post as they go, but I have way too much anxiety to start posting something that isn't finished. I also have way too much ADHD to trust that once I started something I actually would finish it. I've also seen too many fics that don't know or don't want to quit so they just keep going past the point where it would have been a good/interesting ending (not really in this fandom, I just mean in general). So, yes, I finished it, had my editor do an initial read, made some general edits based on his feedback, and then he did a more in-depth edit of the first few chapters and then I started posting them. Some chapters I added a lot more to them during this stage and some chapters stayed pretty much the same. There are a few chapters that haven't been edited because he was unexpectedly unavailable for an extended period of time and I didn't want to stop the momentum. I didn't really have a beta reader for this one, but I asked a few people to beta specific chapters. It's not something I typically would want, I'd have preferred to have a beta for all of it, but it is what it is (or was rather). So all of that is to say, you don't have to do it that way lol, but I would at least have an outline and stopping point and stick to it. And if you want a beta reader, find someone who's opinion you trust and who you can trust will be honest with you. Also don't get rid of anything entirely. If you like something, but it doesn't work, cut it and paste it in a separate document because you might find a way to bring it back or parts of it back in other places. Also make copies for version control. Once I finished it, I made a copy so if I changed something too much in the final version but didn't like it, I could either refer back to or restore parts from the original.

As for secret lore/things no one mentioned:

In the first chapter, when Mollins first flips the siren on, Harry has an adverse reaction to the sound because of his encounter with The Pigs. Then there's an Esprit De Corps check about her listening to her police shows. (Hilarious fact: I couldn't remember her real name correctly at first and before I double checked the wiki I thought it was Marine Le Pen loool)

This goes back to the first fic, but Kim bought a book on how to support someone in addiction recovery and the receipt shows he bought it when he first started as a detective with Eyes. If you take the radiation drug in the game, there's mention of Kim possibly having had a partner with addiction. Also based on his many comments on seeing officers in much worse condition and having only one partner, I'm guessing he's talking about Eyes so I went with that. I still have no idea what exactly happened with Eyes in my story, though.

Shivers helps Kim open the door to the Linnea.

The reason Johnny's body was dropped off in the Harbor is because there had been a bank robbery in Jamrock at the time and there were cops everywhere looking for anything suspicious. That's a tidbit that didn't make it into the text.

The people in Harry's Shivers check in the first part of his final POV chapter are the people that would have been targeted next.

Thanks for asking these questions, they were fun to answer!

[whoseafraidofliloleme]

Enhypen as Taylor Swift Songs...

So @anotherimaginesaccount did something similar and gave a wonderful shoutout to my smau You Belong With Me. And so I have given myself this challenge. Let's go 😊.

Done this on my phone so no word count 😂, I'll get round to putting this through word and grammarly at some point.

Lee Heeseung as Begin Again from Red.

Hear me out on this. So begin again is all about starting again with someone new right.

This fits to Heeseung cause he had to watch TXT, ppl he trained with debut and then started again with i-land, that to with the chance that he still might not debut thru this survival show.

Literally he's had to begin again but finding the members became the people he believed he could begin again with.

Not just that, in the song there's a big emphasis on Blondies previous partner *cough Jake gynaecologist cough* being the worst and how this new person is the opposite.

To me Heeseung is the new person to each member.

He was the legendary trainee but he showed everyone thru the show how much of a wonderful guy he was.

His dynamics with each member is just so sweet and heartwarming. He's everyone's safe space and I love that for him 😭😭😭.

He's just amazing and Begin Again fits so well fight me on this.

I refuse to believe that someone hasn't had a crush on Jay atleast once.

Park Jay as gold rush from evermore:

He just has that look about him. The high school crush, everyone's friend. The happy guy in class.

But only those closest know him well and that's the members.

He's the mood maker of the group and he really does that so well.

Not just that but he's out here being the one to make sure all his 6 children are fed. (Jay in so so fun comparing himself to his mother who only had to deal with him while he's a mother to 6 kids 😂😂😂)

The lyric everybody wants you is Jay. Fight me on that.

His love for the member is so pure and true, they really are his family and it shows in how he treats them.

Literally all us engenes are the line everybody wonders what it would be like to love you 😭😭.

He's literally the thing that brings us out of our sadness.

Sim Jake as Enchanted from Speak Now:

You can't not just smile looking at Jake.

We're all wishing he isn't in love with someone else 😂😭.

Like Heeseung he has different dynamics with each member.

He literally plays with Niki and tries to make sure Niki doesn't miss out on his childhood. He's such a good person I can't.

Seeing Jake interact with members and fans is so heartwarming.

He's just a bright light in the group and deserves so much more love.

The embodiment of it was enchanting to meet you.

Man is boyfriend material to the T.

Park Sunghoon as Our Song from Taylor Swift:

He is out here making sure that the members are taking care of themselves and just being a sweetheart.

He seems like he doesnt care but he's just shy and those visuals are out of the world obviously.

I definitely feel like he would be doing everything to take care of the things he cares for.

The loudest introvert ever but that's just another one of his many sides.

Definitely think he would be the one to call a significant other baby 😂. Don't ask why cause honestly I don't know.

He gives off first love vibes and that's literally our song.

Being so in love that you don't think any song out there can measure up to your feelings.

That's how I think he feels about the members, he teases and messes with them but that's just his way of showing them he cares and loves them.

And now I want to write a first love Sunghoon fic... Great 😂😭.

The lyric the best people in life are free. That sums up Sunoo.

Kim Sunoo as New Romantics from 1989:

He is sassy and carefree, he does what he wants and doesn't care about others opinions. As he should.

I didn't even have to think about this one. That lyric just sums up Sunoo so well I can't even explain it 😂.

No matter what happens, he never gives up.

He's always smiling and he's unapologetic in what he likes which is such a breath of fresh air.

He doesn't let anything define him, he's always surprising everyone.

Sure he's known for being the cute one but that's just one side and I can't wait to see more sides of Sunoo as he grows and evolves as an idol.

He's got a lot of responsibility on his shoulders but he handles it so well.

Yang Jungwon as Delicate from reputation:

He knows his hyungs and engenes are there for him but it's still all about finding that balance.

He's made his mark as the youngest leader of a group and enha themselves have a building reputation in the industry.

He knows how important keeping up the reputation for the group is but he's out here being himself.

Loving the members, taking care of them and being taken cared of by them.

He's delicate in the sense that he has so much to learn and he's already making us all so proud of him.

But the members are here for when he needs a break, when it all gets too much.

The media and gp wouldn't wait a second to turn on the group and he knows it's a delicate line of being loved rn but then being torn down just as viciously.

But he knows that no matter how delicate the situation is, he's got the members and engenes on his side.

He is who he is and doesn't care what others think of him.

Nishimura Niki as ME! from Lover:

He's already got the accolades of being one of the best 4th gen dancers or atleast he could get to that level.

He may be the maknae but he has shown so much maturity and growth in only the last 2 years of the group.

The lyric Troubles gonna follow where I go is literally a description of Niki 😂.

For being a teenager, he is savage and still hilarious but that doesn't stop him from overanalyzing and being critical of himself.

In those moments the members are there to let him know it's okay to make mistakes. They all still love him. The fandom still loves him.

The staff and members let him do whatever he wants and that is how it should be.

Though he acts like a troll, he cares in the most basic ways and goes out of his way to show his love for the members.

His dynamics with the members vary but they all love him so much and he loves them just as much.

His self confidence is through the roof as it should be and he deserves the praise he gets.

Hed be the type to fight but then immediately make up cause he doesn't want anyone angry at him or to be angry at anyone himself.

Tagging the permanent taglist cause I did this for fun but I am kinda proud of it (took a day or 2 but I did tag y'all eventually 😂) so would love to know any differing opinions or just thoughts on this please 🥺.

And that's it. Thoughts and opinions if anyone has any.

Permanent Taglist: @doodlewon @chirokookie @yjwnoot @clar-iii @centheodd @prdxinvade @hiqhkey @junnniiieee07 @love-4-keum @acciomylove @sproutswonies @youkwim @kpoplover718

[runwithwolvcs]

Right Where You Left Me - Part Thirteen

Play or Get Played Merry Christmas :)

As soon as the bell rang, I rushed to my locker. I was hoping to catch Paul before he got to the cafeteria to convince him to add a quick makeout session to our lunch period.My plans were slightly derailed as a boy in my grade, Trystan, stopped me at my locker as I was switching out my books. We had organic chemistry together this semester, but were old astronomy partners, having been stuck together after Tessa bailed for Brayden Parker.

That relationship lasted all of two weeks.

Looking past Trystan I could see Paul with Jared at Kims locker, an unfamiliar look on his face as Trystan spoke to me.  I silently wondered if he’s listening to us, 

“Saskia?” Trystans voice broke my train of thought.

“Hm?”

I looked back to Trystan, not hearing a word he had said, so he repeated himself. “I asked if you wanted to go? With me?”

“I, uhm, can I get back to you?” I said awkwardly, “I have to make sure someone can watch my sister first..” I lied. I wanted to go, just not with him. 

“Yeah, just let me know. Uh, here..” He wrote down his number on a piece of paper and handed it to me. “Text me.”

I nod and watch him walk off down the hall, before my view is blocked by Paul, “What did Trystan want?”

“He just invited me to this thing.” I said, shoving my things into my locker.

“And you said yes.” Paul pressed. 

“I said I’d think about it.” I tell him honestly, muttering,  “Maybe something else will come up.”

Paul scoffed, “Like what?”

“I don’t know..” I shrug my shoulders,“Something.”

 I hoped he would get what I was hinting at, that I really wanted to hang out with him. Even if it meant not going to see the meteors. But Paul trudged forward, ignoring my cues and finding a new annoyance in Trystan, though they never had a problem before now.

“ He likes you.” He said with disgust, “He was all nervous and sweaty. I thought he was going to have a heart attack with how fast his heart was beating.”

“He was not.” I rolled my eyes, shutting my locker  a little harder than I had intended to. “Are you coming to lunch?”

“I gotta go. Sam needs me.” 

“I’ll see you..?” I trailed off,

“Tomorrow, maybe..” He said with uncertainty,  “I’ll text you later though, okay?”

I sighed but nodded regardless. This distance thing he wanted to try seemed to take more of a toll on me, than him.

He pulled me in for a gentle hug, wary of my abdomen still adorning multiple stitches and he whispered, “Please try and get some sleep tonight. No more all nighters.”

My eyebrow quirked at that request. Easier said than done. Especially when I know he's just a knock on the window away, but I’ve respected his boundary. 

“Make sure you wear ear plugs tonight then.” I couldn’t help but say snarkily, “Be safe.”

“Saskia,” His tone was uneven.

I shook my head, “You’ve got to go. So go. Text me when you’re ready to see me again.”

“Hey wait,” Paul grabbed my hand, and my face flushed at the sparks the little gesture caused in my finger tips. Get a hold of yourself, Saskia, I think to myself.

“Yeah?” I ask, unsure of what he was going to say.

His face is marred with confliction, before he rushed out, “Don’t go on that thing with Trystan.”

“Why?”

“Just please..” He pleaded, a rarity for him. Usually he saved the grovelling for help with his homework, or the last slice of pizza. Not to tell me not to go out with someone else, as innocent as Trystan's offer was.

I crossed my arms, subsequently pulling my hand from his, “I’m going to need a better reason than that, Paul.” 

“I’ll take you to see the meteors.” He said with promise, showing he had been listening to the conversation.

My eyes widened, “What?” 

“It’s at the beach, yeah?” He sounded hopeful, but I already know hope is for fools, “I’ll make it happen.”

“It’s tonight, Paul.” His face fell, and I know that if I go with Trystan that I’d just be hurting him. I can’t bring myself to do that, even if it means missing this once in a lifetime phenomenon. I sigh and squeeze his hand reassuringly,  “I just won’t go. It’s fine.”

He pulled me closer, leaning down to ghost his lips over mine, ‘I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

--

“Was Jared like this?” I asked with a groan. Kims the only one who would understand, another teen imprint thrown into the world of mysterious creatures. Jared Cameron had imprinted on her soon after he had joined the pack. Jared and Paul had become quick friends soon after they both had shifted due to the isolation that had to be had from the rest of school, but it worked out well in my favour, because now Kim and I were lunch buddies. Rather than sitting alone, I would sit with her and we could gossip freely about the dumb stuff our imprints got up to.

“No, not at all but we weren’t friends before he phased, maybe that's why it’s different for you and Paul. There was already a friendship there.” Kim explained.

I stabbed my food with my fork, mumbling, “Maybe, but he won’t even have sex with me now. I just, do you think there's another girl?”

“There's no way he's hooking up with another girl, have you seen the way that boy looks at you?” Kim asked, shocked that I would even think that.

“That's just the imprint.” I argued.

“Nu-uh, that's all him. He was all googly eyed at you before he phased too, now he’s just more obvious about it.” The other girl said with a grin. Clearly finding it amusing that I wasn’t believing any of what she was saying. 

I opened my mouth in shock, “He was not googly eyed at me before.”

Kim chuckled, “Oh, my naive friend, Paul has had a claim on you long before you were his imprint. Why do you think he got kicked off the soccer team?”

“Because he got into a fight with Shiloh.” I said with confidence. I was the first person he told.

“Wrong. I mean, technically that is part of the reason, but that was just a warning to the team.” Kim explained, “Last semester, I had chemistry with him, Niko and Dakota in Mr. Tralons class, he was his coach at the time. They were talking about how you were single and that they finally had a shot with you or whatever. Paul was having none of it. Told them they didn’t have a shot and that if they even tried to get close to you, they’d regret it.”

My eyes widened at the news, “I didn’t know any of this.”

“I figured, but that's what I mean. He scared all the boys from even looking in your direction. He clearly likes you.” Kim said with a smirk.

-

It was long after I had gotten home from school that Paul had sent me a strange text, telling me to stay inside until he came knocking. That could only mean one thing, vampires.

I paced around the house, too nervous for him, but also my sister who had yet to return from school. No amount of distractions could keep my attention.

As soon as I saw him break the treeline, I was out the back door.

“Paul!”I said with relief, running to him and throwing my arms around his neck tightly with a breath of relief. Screw the distance boundary he's put in place.

“What’s with the dramatics?” He joked.

“You can’t text me things like that.” I said, pushing against him gently with the palms of my hands.  “Don’t worry, but I need you to stay inside, really?” 

“What did you want me to say? Give you the whole rundown of what's going on everytime something goes on?” He asked teasingly, but I didn’t find it funny.

“I need context.” I told him seriously,  “My sister is still on a field trip in Forks, what if..?” I trailed off and began hyperventilating at the thought.

“Hey, woah. Breathe, Sask. Nothings going to happen to Delta, I promise. She’s safe, you’re safe.” He promised, holding me by my shoulders to keep me steady as I tried to control my breathing.

“But,” I start.

“No buts. He’s gone. Chased him all the way to the Canadian border.” He reassured, cradling my head to his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re okay?” I asked, worriedly cupping his cheeks and giving him a once over, looking for any sign of injuries much like he did with me when Bella decided she wanted to become an adrenaline junkie. I can see what looks to be fading scars on his chest and I can’t help but grimace. Tracing one of them lightly with my index finger. 

He laughed softly, “I’m okay, Sask,” he said, before pressing his lips to my forehead. I freeze at the intimate gesture. He’s never done that before. Friends don’t do that.

“O-okay, that’s good, yeah,” I fumbled my words, backing away from him, “I’ll let you go wind down or whatever it is you do. Text me when you want to hang out..”

“Saskia!” He called and I looked over my shoulder, “Emily dropped some muffins off yesterday for me and my dad if you want to come over and have one.” He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, “You can fill me in on what I missed today.”

“You sure?” I asked with uncertainty.

-

“You know, Kim told me something today at lunch.” I mention mid way through our movie, bored of the plotless dramedy he had picked. This is what we’ve become. Friends with benefits that never get to the benefits. So just friends, I suppose. 

“What did Kimberely tell you,” Paul muttered, he had said she was a handful to deal with, given how much she talked his ear off, though I thought she was really nice.

With furrowed brows, I tell him what Kim told me,“That you threatened Niko and Dakota last semester to stay away from me.”

“They way they were talking about you..” He took a deep breath, “Like you were some sort of fucking prize to be won. I couldn't stand it, so I put a stop to it.”

“It got you kicked off the soccer team.” I stated with disdain. I knew how much he loved soccer, that was the whole reason I started tutoring him in the first place.

“So what?”

“Why would you jeopardise yourself?” I asked genuinely. He had no reason to then, it's not like he knew I was his imprint before he had shifted.

“You’re mad that I stopped them?” He asked, looking at me with a shocked expression, “ I knew everything that you were going through, this was the last thing you should have had to deal with, Saskia. I was protecting you.”

“That's not why I’m upset, Paul.” I couldn’t help but roll my eyes, I didn’t need him to protect me from highschool boys with too many hormones, “I just don't understand why you felt the need to do it, whether you felt like you were protecting me or not.”

He scoffed, “My apologies, I won't do it again.”

“You’re not listening to me.” I grumbled, wishing he would listen to what I was saying and not what he chose to hear.

He sits up straight so that we are face to face, “Go ahead, speak. I'm all ears.”

“You got yourself kicked off the soccer team, something that you loved to do, because two guys in our grade said that they thought they had a shot with me so you threatened them. Where do you see yourself protecting me? All I’m hearing is that you got yourself in trouble because you were jealous.” I told him, just like he was jealous of Jacob,something he openly admitted.

“Jealous?” He asked with a scoff of disbelief. 

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“I could get any girl I want, Saskia. Whether it's Beth, or Rachel or you. It’s not that hard, it’s not like I had to compete with Niko or Dakota for your attention. I already had it.” Whether he intended for his words to hurt or  not, I felt like I had just been stabbed. Right in the heart.

 Kim was so wrong.

“So you were just fucking me because I was willing.” It's not a question, I just needed to hear him confirm what I've been insecure about this entire time.

“I didn’t say that.” He said plainly. 

“Well you’re not exactly denying it either.”

“Saskia,” 

“Have fun on patrol tonight, Paul.”  I shook my head in disbelief.

“Where are you going?” He asked as I grabbed my phone.

“To text Trystan and tell him I want to go to the meteor shower with him.” I scoffed, heading for the window.

“No, no..”Paul tried to stop me, “Saskia,”

Looking at him with angry eyes, I asked, “Tell me the truth, was I just another girl to you?”

“Does it matter? You’re my imprint, my soulmate.” He stressed.

“If it didn’t matter, I wouldn't have asked.” I said forcefully. Being his imprint didn’t matter if he had only been using me from the start.

[246sn]

﹒SUNNY DAYS ˒ ˓ O2 𖥦 do you wanna be my partner ? 𓈒 ꔛ ˙ ˖ word count : 1.3k

⋆ NEXT ⫾ kim sunoo is a popular student. so popular in fact that he has numerous fan accounts, but he only cares about one: an anonymous user who posts encouraging messages every morning before school. his goal is to figure out who this mysterious person is but what would happen if one betrayal reveals this user’s “true identity”? would they rather fight for love or stay with the person who has been with them since the beginning?

the entirety of decelis academy were in a frenzy following jungwon’s sudden announcement of a party he was throwing at the end of this year. usually, jungwon’s parties were exclusive — only his inner circles would’ve been able to attend yet they would still be the talk of the school for weeks. 

this party, however, was different. a non-exclusive party meant everyone and anyone could have a chance to get into jungwon’s inner circle. this gave anyone a free pass on going up the ranks in popularity as seen by some students such as nishimura riki who had only moved into town the summer before their sophomore year started.

this was also why your friend, yeoreum, was so desperate to attend this party in the first place. she has always wanted to be inside jungwon’s inner circle, which is why you assumed she was really close to sunoo.

hi the rest of the story is below!

to stop the glitch T~T

you, on the other hand, already knew what happens during these parties since jungwon was practically obsessed with your older brother.

and of course, being the “responsible” older brother that he was, heeseung brought you and haewon to one when your parents were out of town. unfortunately, he did go missing while wandering through jungwon’s crazy big house and left jake to take care of the both of you.

all the people attending really did was gather themselves up into smaller groups and interact within that smaller circle, which wasn’t exactly an ideal place for either you and haewon.

especially after a slightly (very) tipsy sunghoon had tried to ask you out on a date that day, mistaking you as irene, and jake ultimately pushing him away, you and haewon swore you both would never attend a school party (especially the ones held by jungwon and his friends) ever again.

walking through the halls of your school, on the way to your classroom while listening to all the students frantically finding partners for jungwon’s year-end-party made you wonder if it wasn’t worth missing out on.

sure, you and haewon swore to never attend one of jungwon’s “lame” parties, but maybe it was time for a change?

as you entered your classroom, you noticed yeoreum waving at you excitedly. right when you neared her, she asked, “have you thought about it yet?”

“about what?” you asked while setting down your bag on the desk and sitting down to face her.

“the party at the end of the month, silly!”

“oh, uhm… not yet, actually! i still need to ask haewon if she could go with us.”

with that, the smile that seemed to be practically glued onto yeoreum’s face had dropped and disappeared.

“why do you have to ask haewon anyways? can’t we just go together?” her voice was clearly filled with anger.

“i thought we were a trio—“

“no! i’m nowhere near as close to haewon than i am to you… honestly, i don’t feel comfortable with that b— i mean, with her than i am with you…”

“oh, i’m so sorry. uh, i’ll have to think about us going without haewon though… uhm but i’ll let you know as soon as possible!”

“let me know quickly though.”

“i’ll try…”

jungwon’s party was all yeoreum could talk about and frankly, you were tired of hearing it. you realized that yeoreum could be a great salesperson since she spent the past two days since jungwon’s announcement practically advertising why you should go with her.

instead of listening to yeoreum talk your ears off about jungwon’s party, you decided to just find ways of entertaining yourself through youtube.

with only 5 minutes left of class to spare before heading out to lunch, you were already ready to pack your bag when your teacher had some final announcements to make.

“we will be having a final project for this week’s lesson which will take up 20% of your final grades. you are able to choose your partners for this project but please submit a paper with a list of your proposals and both of your names on or before school ends on monday. with that being said, class dismissed.”

it was silent for a good 5 seconds while watching your teacher exit the classroom before the entire class went crazy while on the hunt for a partner.

you looked back, expecting yeoreum to look right back at you but she was instead looking at sunoo who was surprisingly looking at you.

“sun—“ yeoreum began but was immediately cut off by sunoo.

“do you wanna be my partner?” sunoo asked you with a small smile on his face.

“me?” you pointed to yourself, almost in disbelief while watching sunoo nod happily.

“uhm, sure!”

“cool.” he said before bringing out his phone and handing it to you, “could i have your number? let’s discuss our proposals through text.” he continued.

“oh yeah, okay!” you weren’t exactly sure why your hands were shaking while typing in your number. the fear of giving sunoo a wrong number rushed through your mind as you read your phone number over and over again in nervousness.

sure, sunoo has always been nice to you since the beginning but honestly, he’s kind to everyone. 

sometimes, it seemed like he read your mind and tried cutting your (kind of annoying and repetitive) conversations with yeoreum short and always knew how to make you laugh instead. which is the main reason why you like him so much.

you tried your best to get even closer to sunoo and maybe even have him feel the same things you’re feeling but to no avail. 

he would constantly walk past you in the corridors whenever you tried saying hello as if you weren’t someone he constantly tried to casually talk to during class.

him ignoring you outside of class terrified you to try building up a friendship with him, which is why you secretly began sunnydays. it was an anonymous way of having a conversation with the boy who fascinated you and learning more about him as well.

you never crossed his boundaries like other fan accounts who would practically follow him just to get closer which is the reason why you guessed sunoo had only really replied to your tweets since the beginning.

everytime sunnydays would ask sunoo how his day was and give him words of encouragement, you would always read the perfectly worded response sunoo would comment about his day.

it was always about him spending time with his friends and sometimes, how he was stressed out about some classes. 

it made you recall how sunoo had told sunnydays that jake helped him with his physics homework, the same one he helped you in. 

as sunoo had said, “surprisingly, jake knew how to answer all of the questions! when i asked him, he said he helped a friend out with the same thing only a few hours before and then accidentally blurted out that it was a girl :0 ! do you think he has a girlfriend? jake would never help just anyone out in physics even if he’s a genius in it.”

that comment always made you laugh, jake was like an older brother to you. of course, he couldn’t beat the pro heeseung, but he could definitely make you smile even when heeseung couldn’t.

“are you done, yn?” yeoreum asked in a somewhat annoyed tone while crossing her arms which immediately cut your train of thought.

“huh? oh, yeah! sorry, sunoo… i must’ve spaced out while double checking my number. here.” you said as you gave sunoo back his phone.

you checked the opened door to see jake and heeseung talking to jungwon while haewon was glaring holes into the your class president.

“i should go, see you!” you grabbed your bag in a hurry and ran towards the door, not forgetting to wave to sunoo and yeoreum on the way.

little did you know, sunoo had muttered a silent “cute” while watching you exit and hug your friends before finally walking away, which he swore only he could hear. that was until yeoreum looked at him with wide eyes which were already filling up with tears before storming out of the room while whispering nonsense about how you never deserved sunoo.

⋆ NOTE ⫾ my power to construct good sentences has left my body… anyways, i hope you enjoyed this :’) <3

TAGLIST ﹑@ja4hyvn @mymomsdisappointment @acciomylove @staysstrays @soobin-chois @gyufxc @hiqhkey @enhacolor @yizhoutv @butterflyy-ningg @cparqx @heavenforatlas @junhaodni @bearseulgs @yjwnoot @nova-xae @trsrina @kazuhugs @arizejkt19 @lovnayeon @soobins-gf @hokuuusk @callme-kami @thaliese @c9tnoos @y4ngjungw0nz @prince-mingki @viagumi @ferxanda @iamsimplyasimp @wonieleles @beans-and-jeanes

[petrichoraline]

🔥 choose violence ask game 🔥 thingy

2,12,23 and 25

choose violence ask game!

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

i feel like a fish out of water here wow. i keep going through my faves and they all seem like they'd do both? like im thinking about one straight couple and even there things could get interesting but anyways

naoya from mr.unlucky is never doing either cause with the tempo at which kouta is moving they'd both die from old age before they ever get there

masumi and ritsu from bokushoku both love their dynamic (and why wouldn't they, they seem to be having the most enjoyable sex ever) and they're never changing partners so they're defiinitely sticking to their roles (ig masumi could be curious cause yknow how ritsu is basically his only partner ever but i doubt ritsu would be down? and also if the end of the world didn't get them to try switching i don't think it's likely to happen)

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

as i said, i take so many outcasts under my wing lol like the more hated he is, the more i empathise. like LM mark or even tonhon (i KNOW)

this question implies it's someone people are feel neutral/negative towards so i'll ignore my boy jiha from all the liquors though i haven't seen an ounce of love for him because i just think the show didn't get posted about much in general. he is cute, he keeps it real, he is the bestie the gives advice but actually sucks at relationships, low sense of self-worth - he's just perfect. and also those lips boyy he's so beautiful. anyways

i kept this question for kim actually but now that i'm here i wonder if i should even bother. like people have had a long time to sort out their feelings.

this just kind of ties with my dislike(?) of porschay, people just ganged up on kim as if the way he acted wasn't an act of protection - a poor choice but coming from a good place nonetheless. in my eyes he's such an antisocial loser that he's not that much more mature than chay who, in some way, i'm sure could outsmart kim easily, not to mention manipulate him if necessary. so with the whole pathetic factor going on idk how at least the tumblr fandom didn't instantly get his pov. i saw so many threats against this guy even long after the finale had aired, some were like ''i get it but i still want to smash him with a hammer for hurting chay'' which ok fair ig if you love porschay i can see where the anger comes from. but still. kim has grown up around the mafia, learnt to always keep his guard up. he tries to solve a mystery all by himself except for the help of a bodyguard who, ultimately, works for his dad, not for him. who can he trust except for himself? he's in the entertainment industry, ppl are interested in him for his family, looks, money or his fame. what he can give them. when he ain't sniffing around and wrecking his brains, he's in the recording studio. that man does not know how to act around his crush, we know how he subtly he gets info out of chay or how he's delighted to see a wall plastered with his face. that man is pathetic, lonely, paranoid, he'd kill anyone who's a threat to chay instantly (>leaves like a dozen corpses in a bar similar to a cat bringing rats to its owner) but will wallow in misery, write a song and serenade him through a text. HE DOES NOT GET HUMANS. he went to that bar, got told off and stormed off, he is so clueless, somebody please help him.

i actually read plenty of posts on kim and that's why i feel strongly about him (thank you everyone who defended him in such articulate ways❤️) and i don't even like him that much!! i just need the hate train to stop

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

i know what the question means but like i usually try to like ships, it's easier this way, no? lol so it's not really unwillingly..but i think haruka and rin is a good answer lmao

i was a haruka/makoto girlie for years but watching free! with friends made me realise the harurin appeal

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

i thought i wouldn't have much to say here but omg i have to pick just one? skipping over the controversial ones, i'll have to go for hate for songs in bls lol

i'll start off by saying a lot of my mutuals are of this opinion and i respect it <33 that being said - bro. i know they could be a bit much especially when the actors aren't that good or the song is a bit bland or if it just feels very out of place? i understand it's sort of become the norm to hate on these performances because '''bl boy whips out guitar'' is a fandom joke at this point. and people are so loud and proud about skipping every single scene with a song in it. but it results in takes like "omg why did win and team sing their confessions they sounded so bad, so off-key, i barely made it".. that's the point? they are overwhelmed with emotions, snot is running down their face, after months of inner turmoil they finally reach the point where they just have to let it all out and yeah, the song would sound much weirder if they played a studio version on top of the footage lmao (example: the autotune on top of akkayan's bday performance that was so horrendous it turned out funny)

it's not that i haven't been tempted to skip through a boring song. i'm not saying it's a baseless complaint. i just find the way it's expressed usually annoying.

[felicitysmoaksx]

Hi everyone! You're all probably wondering what this story is. Or if you're following me on Tumblr you might already know what is happening with this story. But the gist of it is I was rereading the original story about a month ago and decided that while I liked the writing there, I knew I could do better.

So that's what I did. I redid the entire outline and completely rebuilt the story. Now some of the story is the same. But I think with the extra scenes I've added and the scenes I've reordered/and or taken away, it's a lot better.

But I guess you will all be the judge of that. Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoy it and I appreciate any feedback you have! 

Summary: With Adam and Hailey still together, what if after the crossover episodes, Kim went home with Jay instead?

Word Count: 4.7k

Warnings: Vague allusions to a kidnapping and sexual abuse case. But don't go into great detail.

Read On AO3 | Fic Playlist

It Was a One Night Stand Until I Woke Up Next to You

Kim was busy packing up her stuff after a long, long, long three days of work. One long for each day she couldn’t go home because of this stupid case. She had just opened her locker when Hailey called her name.

“We’re going to Molly’s for a beer, you want to join us?” The blonde offered. Glancing at Upton’s and Ruzek’s joined hands, Kim gave the new couple a tight smile.

“Thanks, but I think I just want my couch, a beer, and a quiet night in.” It wasn’t a complete lie, Kim just didn’t tell them that she also didn’t want to be a third wheel to her ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend. (Even though she was completely okay with them being a them by now. But it was still weird to be going on what seemed like a date for them)

“Okay if you’re sure,” Upton gave her another smile before Adam pulled her away and out the back door, “See you on Monday, Burgess.”

“Bye Kim,” Adam called on their way out. Shaking her head, Kim started to gather her things when Jay walked in with a bandaged hand.

“They released you, already?” Kim questioned when she saw Jay walk into the locker room. She thought for sure they would keep him overnight for observation.

“Perks of having a doctor for a brother. I talked him into talking my actual doctor into discharging me early. It was just a few stitches anyway. You all got to me before I could actually spray anything into it. Plus they needed the bed.” Jay explained, showing her his hand before he started to pack up his things for the night.

“Well, you just missed Hailey and Adam. They were going to Molly’s if you want to catch up with them.” Kim slung her bag over her shoulder with a sigh. It had been a long night and a lot of overtime. (Two nights worth to be exact)

“Why didn’t you go with them?”

“Didn’t want to be a third wheel.”

“And you think I do?” Jay asked incredulously.

“I’m fine with them being a them, but I’m still Adam’s ex-girlfriend. It wouldn’t be that awkward for you. You’re Upton’s old partner. Not her ex-boyfriend.”

Kim heard the detective yawn, “It’s been a long night. I think I just want my couch and a beer.”

“That’s my plan too.” She told him, swinging her locker door shut, “I have to stop and buy some though. Kev drank the last of mine.”

“You could come over to my place if you want to.” Jay offered as Kim started to turn the corner of a row of lockers.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. That way you wouldn’t have to stop and I don’t think any of us should be by ourselves anyway. At least not tonight.”

So that’s how she ended up following Jay back to his apartment and sitting on his couch as he got them both a beer.

A few hours later and another beer later, Kim was laughing at him as he told her a story about Mouse dragging his ass around one day in basic training because he was a stupid twenty-one-year-old who didn’t know his limit yet. They were swapping stories-him about his ranger days and her about being a flight attendant. Another few hours. Another beer.

Kim had been laughing at another one of his stories, sitting with her legs crossed on top of the couch, facing him so it wasn’t a wonder that amid her laughter, she had started to topple over. His hands were there steadying her as he also chuckled. Then it tapered off and faded completely. She glanced up at him just in time to see him lick his lips, and okay maybe liquid courage helped her lean up and press her lips against his.

Jay responded immediately, wrapping his arms around her waist. His hand slipped under her shirt, so it was touching the bare skin of her back as he brought her to sit on his lap.

“Wait...What are...we...doing?” Kim panted in between kisses. Jay pulled away to look at her. He exhaled and she felt it on her lips. Goosebumps started pebbling all over her arms. She shivered in his arms at the warming chill that ran down her spine.

“I don’t know,” he admitted to her, “But after the last few days, this feels right.”

Kim nodded her head. She understood what he was saying. After this last case, they needed something to remind them that no matter what evil they saw on their job, they had something to remind them everything wasn’t evil. Was this a healthy coping mechanism? Probably not. But right now, it wasn’t about that. It was about feeling something. She leaned in to kiss him again and he returned it eagerly before he pulled away to study her, when she started to pull his shirt up.

“How drunk are you? Are you sure you want to do this? I don’t want you regretting this tomorrow.” He told her. Kim shook her head. She wasn’t drunk. Every beer she had that night, had been spaced out enough that she hadn’t gotten drunk. Just buzzed.

“Buzzed. Just enough to be brave enough to do this.” She answered, before turning the question back on him.

“Same, I just wanted to check before we got any farther.” He answered, then he leaned in to kiss her neck. Jay gripped the back of her thighs before he was standing and making his way to his bedroom. Should they have been concerned that they forgot about protection? Probably, but it was fine. Kim was on birth control… If only Kim hadn’t forgotten to take it in the midst of everything that had happened today.

After that night, Kim and Jay went back to normal more or less. They had no reason to drag it out or act out of the ordinary. They both agreed that night was about comfort for them and nothing else. Until four weeks later, when Kim was chasing a suspect for a case and had gone through a fence, cutting her arm open. It wasn’t a cut that deep, but Voight still insisted she go get it stitched up.

At Med, a standard blood workout revealed a lot more than Kim was ready for that morning.

“Congratulations are in order.” Her ER doctor told her with a warm smile. Then at Kim’s look of confusion, the doctor explained. “Your HBC levels are elevated.”

“I’m sorry?” Kim asked confusedly, Her doctor’s smile broadened, “Whenever someone comes into the ED we do a general work-up. It’s standard procedure, but your HBC levels are slightly elevated. It means your pregnant Ms. Burgess.”

“I-what? Pregnant? Are you sure? Because I’m on birth control and besides I haven’t had sex in…” Kim trailed off. She was about to say she hadn’t had sex in months. Not since Matt...but that wasn’t true.

She had slept with Jay four weeks ago. She met the doctor’s now slightly concerned stare again. “Are you sure?”

The other woman nodded, “Yes. These tests are fairly accurate. By your levels, I’d say, you’re-” she glanced back down at Kim’s chart, “-Four weeks along?”

Kim’s hand fell to her stomach subconsciously. She knew that if she was pregnant, who the father would be. She had only slept with one guy recently. She was carrying a Baby Halstead.

Their case had somehow turned into a SA  case before she could even leave the hospital. A girl had been held in a storm cellar for four years. She had been seventeen when she was taken. She got a call that Hailey would meet her at the hospital because they needed to interview the victim that had been taken to Med.

“You okay?” Hailey asked when Kim found her. Kim nodded, but the other woman stared at her, looking unsure. “You sure? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

She hadn’t. Instead, she had seen the opposite of a ghost, but she guessed the expressions looked the same.

“Yeah,” she nodded. Then again more firmly, “Yeah, I’m good. What do we got? Kev just said it was a SA case now.”

“And a kidnapping. Vic was seventeen when she was taken.” Hailey explained as they walked to the victim’s hospital room. And it gets worse, we also have a missing four-year-old too. And the kid needs insulin every few hours or he goes into shock. Our offender, also the dad, didn’t take it when he left with the boy.”  

Kim shook her head, trying to get a grip on this case as well as dealing with being pregnant. She always wanted kids, to be a mother someday. When she had been engaged to Adam, they had always…And now was not the time to have that thought with Ruzek’s current girlfriend standing right next to her. The point was, yeah. She wanted kids, but she never pictured it like this.

Kim bit her lip as her eyes followed Jay as he made his way out of the bullpen that night. It had been weighing on her mind since she found out this morning. She was about four weeks pregnant...with baby Halstead. And she needed to tell the father.

“Hey!” Kim called after she stood and hurried after him because if she didn’t do it now, she’d chicken out later, “Jay! Wait up!”

It was better just to rip the bandaid off.

“Hey, can I talk to you? In private? It’s important.” She told him when she reached the bottom step of the stairs. He nodded in the direction of the parking lot. “Walk with me to my car?”

Rip the bandaid off. Rip the bandaid off. Rip the bandaid off. She repeated the mantra in her head as she followed him to his truck.

“You okay? You’re being a little quiet.” Kim looked up to see the detective eyeing her. She swallowed the nerves that appeared in her throat...Or was that nausea? Did morning sickness start this early in the pregnancy? She needed to buy one of those books now.

“Kim?”

“I’m pregnant.” She blurted out before she winced at her ungraceful delivery of the news. At least she had ripped the bandaid off. Kim shook her head at herself and then continued, not daring to look up at Jay and see his reaction. Instead, she chose to look at her shoes.

“They told me today at the hospital. When I was getting my stitches done after my run-in with the fence, they did a standard blood workup and my HBC levels whatever those mean, came back elevated, and with how elevated they estimated around four weeks-”

“Which would make them mine.” Jay finished her ramble softly because it had been four weeks since they slept together. Now she looked up at him, at his face. To his credit, she couldn’t see a negative reaction in his face.  Not even a whisper of one. Instead, his blue eyes (would their child have his blue eyes or her brown ones) were thoughtful as he processed the information.

“Yeah,” Kim nodded, answering in a quiet voice, even though he hadn’t asked a question.

“Are you keeping them?”

Kim nodded. Though she might have had some lingering doubts before, the case today with Claire and Henry. Seeing how that mother and son had interacted solidified her decision. “Yeah. Yes, I am.”

“Then do you want to go somewhere and talk? About how we’re going to do this?”

Kim felt the tension release from her shoulders. She knew Jay was a good guy. The type of guy who would take responsibility and step up. The kind of guy that wouldn’t let her do this by herself, especially with this baby being his. But there was a difference between knowing that and hearing that she wasn’t going to be on her own were two different things.

“You could drive me home? I carpooled with Upton and Rojas today. And we could order dinner?” She offered and he nodded.

“Okay just let me go clock out and let them know while I’m in there.”

“Do you want a beer? Water? Or something else? I think I have some kind of soda?” She offered when they reached her apartment. Jay walked in behind her, setting their greasy takeout food from the burger place they had stopped at, on her kitchen table.

“Sure,” Jay said, accepting the plates she was giving him. He separated their food while she went to her fridge.

“So,” she said as she came back with two bottles in her hands, one a plastic water bottle and one a glass beer bottle. She handed him the beer before she took a seat across from him. “I’m not actually sure where to go from here. I know you said you wanted to be involved, but I’m not expecting-”

“Kim, I’m going to stop you right there. I don’t want an out with this. It took both of us to make that baby. We both chose to sleep together that night, so we’re in this together. Everything that comes with it. Doctor appointments, getting the nursery ready, 3 am calls where you call me because you have cravings, those stupid classes that teach you how to breathe if you want to take them…all of it.”

“…We won’t be able to hear the heartbeat until the next appointment at the earliest,” Jay said, reading information about her first official appointment on his phone. Kim blinked, she didn’t know where or why that day had resurfaced.

“Yeah, that's not till the next appointment at twelve weeks. This appointment is to just basically make sure that the baby is healthy and safe, growing at the rate they should be, and to talk about our family’s health histories and they address any concerns we have.” Kim explained, remembering what she had read last night in her new book about pregnancy and babies.

She had put off reading for the last two weeks, yet when the appointment reminder popped up on her phone yesterday, she realized she didn’t know what she was walking into. She absolutely hated not feeling prepared. It was like walking into a suspect’s house without knowing what to expect.

“You didn’t have to come you know. It’s not like it’s a huge appointment.” Kim told them nonchalantly as she began to flick through a magazine before she abandoned it in favor of playing a game on her phone.

“Every appointment Kim. No matter how big or small.” He told her, staring at the pictures of babies, “Because we’re-”

“-In this together. You know, you’re going to sound like a broken record by the time this whole pregnancy is over with.”

Soon Kim’s name was called and they were ushered back into a room. They didn’t even see her OB for this appointment. A technician conducted the ultrasound. The baby as expected was growing and progressing right on schedule.

“We’ll see you for the next appointment.” The tech said as she smiled, handing Kim a set of pictures, “Six weeks from today you can schedule it with the woman at the front desk.”

“So Burgess, what is up with you and Halstead? I noticed you and him have been a little…closer lately. Anything you want to tell me?” Kevin pointed at her with his fork. Kim rolled her eyes at her best friend’s roundabout way of asking if she and Jay were dating, without actually asking.

It was her and Kevin’s dinner that they did every month since their patrol partnership ended six years ago. Spearing her hamburger patty (Because she had entered the eighth week of her pregnancy and with that came morning sickness with a vengeance. Her baby seemed to have an aversion to bread she learned thanks to dinner with Jay at the beginning of the week) with her own fork, she popped the piece of meat into her mouth. Then she shrugged.

“Nothing to tell,” she told him and when he gave her his own eye roll, Kim laughed, “I’m serious. We’re friends. Look, with Adam and Hailey together now and you and Rojas having a vibe. We didn’t want to be third wheels. So we just started hanging out with each other.”

“Mhmm and are you and your friend participating in some friendlier extracurriculars?” Kevin smirked. Kim felt her cheeks burn at the question. “No,”

And that was the truth. Besides that one night of comfort, that had resulted in a baby there was nothing between them like what Kevin was implying.

The next day at work, when she and Jay were on their way to interview a witness, she made an appointment with her doctor to see if they had anything that could help with her nausea. The nausea had been the most violent today. Though it helped to be in the vehicle with her baby daddy, who knew about her morning sickness and kept her window cracked and passed her a water bottle after water bottle, and kept the air conditioning pressed against her to help.

Thankfully, she made it through the day without throwing up, despite the smell that wafted around the office and never left. Did someone order a fish sandwich with pickles...and was that mustard? Or tabasco sauce?

At the end of the day, Kim waved to Platt as she started to walk out with Jay and Hailey when the desk sergeant called her back.

“What’s up?”

“Internet said it was an appropriate gift,” Platt said as she pulled a mug with the words: MOM COP with the CPD symbol painted on it in a pretty soft blue color.

Kim’s eyes widened when she saw it. They weren’t telling anyone yet. How did the desk sergeant of their district know? Kim reached for it quickly, hiding it under her jacket.

“How’d you know?” She asked.

“I’ve been a cop for a long time,” the older woman’s answer was soft, “Plus, I overheard you and Halstead talking the other day.”

“Am I crazy?” Kim asked.

“Maybe. But some of the best things in life start as crazy... So go with your gut Burgess.” Platt’s lips twitched upward, “And I’ll deny I ever said this if you tell him, but Halstead is one of the good ones.”

Then she patted Kim’s shoulder and walked away. Kim stared after Platt, the woman who had been and continued to be her mentor since she stepped foot in the 21st. Then she turned and made her way back up to the Intelligence bullpen. She had some news she needed to share with Voight.

“Sarge?” Kim knocked on the door frame of Voight’s office. Voight looked up surprised to see his officer there.

“Burgess? I thought you had gone home for the night.”

“I did, but I…” Kim broke off and sighed heavily. She knew that there was a chance that this would change things for her here in Intelligence. That she could even lose her spot up here, but that didn’t matter anymore because it wasn’t just here she had to think about anymore. “Can I talk to you about something? It’s important.” Hank waved a hand in her direction and Kim knew that was her queue to go ahead.

“I’m pregnant. About eight weeks along and I understand. I understand that my place here will possibly change in Intelligence. But I just...I had to tell you.” She hurried out in a rush. She didn’t know what she expected from her Sargent. A few questions maybe. Some paperwork needed to be filled out. But she wasn’t expecting Hank to get up, make the way around his desk, or for his arms to encircle her into an embrace.

“Kim, I’m so happy for you.” His voice was warm and it brought a smile to Kim’s lips. Only for it to drop a minute later when he brought up how excited Adam must be. Then it hit her. Sergeant Voight thought Adam was the father and if Voight thought so, everyone else would too.

“Sarge, no. It’s not Adam’s. He and Hailey are still together. It’s uh...Jay’s actually.”

Voight pulled back some to look at her. His gaze was sharp as he licked his lips.  He finally asked in a fairly soft voice, “Does he know?”

Kim nodded. “He does. He wanted to be here with me when I told you but he didn’t know I was going to tell you tonight….I didn’t know I was going to tell you until Platt gave me this gift.” She held up the coffee cup for her Sargent to see. It was a simple gift but it had reshifted and refocused Kim’s world.

She was going to be someone’s mother.

Hank nodded, that quiet look on his face he got when he was trying to retrace a criminal’s steps.

“Okay, we’ll talk about this more tomorrow. It’s late. Go home, Kim. Get some sleep,” he said finally. His tone of voice was clear. It was an order from a sergeant to his officer. She nodded, “Yes Sarge.”

“Burgess, Halstead. My office,” Everyone looked up at the sound of Voight’s voice, the next day looking confused. Everyone except the two people he was calling for. The unlikely duo made their way into the office as Hank shut the door behind him.

“I’m going to be brief, but the first thing I want to know is why you didn’t disclose your relationship when it got serious because I would think out of the two of you and your history with me, you would know that I like to have all the facts.”

��Sarge-” they both started to speak at the same time before they glanced at each other and Kim ended up finishing her thought first. She shook her head, “Sarge, it’s not like that for us.”

Nodding Jay agreed with her before he gestured to Kim’s stomach. “Yeah, it’s like Kim said. It’s not like that. They were just a surprise that came after a day of too many close calls and needing some comfort that we found in each other.”

Voight asked another question, but the officer couldn’t hear anything her sergeant or her partner said because that horrid smell from yesterday was back and it made her stomach roll violently.

“Burgess?” Hank asked concerned as he watched the woman wrap her arms around her stomach and put her head in between her knees. Jay turned, looking too, and had started to rub a hand up and down her back because he knew what was probably happening.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good sarge. Just a little morning sickness nausea.” Kim finally managed to reassure him with a shaky thumbs up. But that wasn’t the wisest choice because as soon as the words came out of her mouth, her stomach gave another turbulent roll and she jumped up, giving in to the urge to run to the bathroom.

“Excuse me,” she thought she said the words, but she couldn’t be sure as she turned. The door was yanked open before Kim tore through the bullpen, ignoring the alarmed calls of her team.

Reaching the bathroom, she skidded to a stop on her knees in front of the porcelain bowl just before she coughed up the contents of her breakfast that morning. A second behind her, Jay dropped to his knees just at her back. He grabbed her hair pulling it back, so it wasn’t dangling in her face as he rubbed her back again.

“Okay?” Jay asked when he didn’t hear heaving anymore. Kim coughed and nodded, “I think so. For right now at least.”

So Jay stood and grabbed some paper towels as he ran them under the faucet and handed them to her. Then he waited while she wiped her face and pulled her to her feet.

“Still okay?” He asked. When she nodded, he continued, “I don’t think you heard him but Voight said he’s switching up partners again. He also asked if you wanted to be detailed to light duty early. I answered that for you. Hope you don’t mind.”

“As long as you said no,” Kim mumbled, her baby daddy nodded to her relief. “I said you didn’t want to be out until you absolutely had to be. He also said it’s up to us as to when we wanted to tell the team.”

“I’ll leave that up to you since I told Voight without you. If you don’t want to tell them today though, I hope you have a reason you followed me, besides you know, the truth.”

“We can tell them. Besides, they’ll want to know why you’re moving to light duty in two weeks.”

Kim blinked at him. There was no way…she was that close to moving to light duty. Though, looking down at her stomach, Kim knew it had to be true. Morning sickness didn’t start until she was at least eight weeks along, according to her book.

“Is it going to be that bad every time?”  Kim asked quietly as Jay continued to rub her back. He was still rubbing her back as they walked back to the bullpen. Kim shook her head as she told him quietly, “That was just as rough as when we figured out your child doesn’t like bread and I have to deal with that till the end of the second trimester? Can I go on a liquid diet then?”

“I don’t think that’ll help. You’ll still throw up. You just won’t taste everything you eat.” He laughed, just as quietly. Then his hand stopped its gentle movements on her back completely and she looked up to see the unit plus Voight staring at them.  

“Everything alright, Kim?” Kevin asked. Before she answered, the brunette glanced up at Jay, who nodded.

“Yeah, Kev. Just some slight morning sickness,” she told him sheepishly. Everyone glanced at each other. Then it was Hailey who asked, “Wait. Morning sickness? So that means you’re pregnant?”

“About eight weeks along,” Kim nodded with an unconscious hand lifting to her flat stomach.

“Hold up. Hold up. Is this why you ordered a burger without the bun on Saturday?” Kevin asked. Kim shrugged at her former partner, “They don’t like bread right now. I’m hoping they’ll get over it soon.”

“And how does Jay fit into this?” Adam asked from where he sat at his desk. Jay gave a slight smirk as he explained in a sarcastic tone, “Well Ruz, it kind of makes two people to make a baby.”

“Wait so you two…” Rojas trailed off as she dragged a finger between the two of them. Kim shrugged, “We’re not together but it was one night. The night after we closed the infection case.”

Rojas whistled, “Damn. Y'all weren’t kidding when you said this unit is close.”

Then there was a beat of silence while Hank stepped away to take a call. Another look was shared between the team. Then their unit was rushing forward. Hailey and Vanessa wrapped Kim in one hug while Kevin patted Jay on the back. Then her former partner wrapped her in a tight bear hug. It was only when Kevin had pulled away and the other two girls had Jay’s attention that Adam pulled her into a hug of his own.

“Congratulations,” he told her quietly, sincerely. Then he squeezed her again, “Are you happy?”

“It’s not quite how I planned on becoming a mother. But yeah, yeah I am.” She told the man, who in another life could’ve been the father of her children. Had she actually kept the ring, but Adam wasn’t ready for that kind of commitment and that was okay.

She wasn’t meant for Adam but maybe Hailey Upton would be the one for him instead.

“Good. That’s all I want for you Kim.” He let go of her, squeezing her hand. Then he moved to Jay, boasting loudly.

“Okay, we can continue the celebration later. Right now we have a case and given the circumstances, I’m reassigning partners. But temporarily? Atwater and Burgess, Rojas and Ruzek, and Upton and Halstead. I'll reassess later but right now we need to move.”

TAGGING: @maddyjb @sowrongitslottie @thewannabewriter @leeleeboo​ @chalstead86 

[pink-sparkly-witch]

Soulmates: Chapter Twenty-Seven – Goodbye, Supernatural! (Part 2) – Finale

Summary: On November 19th, 2020, Supernatural aired its last episode. Ava takes to social media to publicly say goodbye and thank the cast, crew, and fans who changed her and her husband’s lives.

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Ava Ackles (OFC)

Warnings: Language, fluff

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Well, this is it, guys! The final part of this saga. If you’ve got this far, thank you for sticking with me and reading through to the end! I hope you enjoyed it! The picture used is taken from Pinterest. This hasn’t been beta’d, and all mistakes are mine.

You can catch up here!

My Masterlist     AO3    Ko-Fi

November 2020

Liked by jensenackles, jaredpadalecki, genpadalecki, bigbaldhead, misha, officialbrianab, hilarieburton, jeffreydeanmorgan and 647,389 others

avaackles This is the first ever photo of Jensen and me. It was taken during my week on the Supernatural set in June 2005. That 24-year-old girl had no idea the 27-year-old boy standing beside her would become her whole world.

Over the next year, these young, clueless kids became best friends or, more accurately: partners in crime. The summer and fall of 2006 saw a shift in their relationship, and they became more. So much more. Lovers, partners, soulmates. If someone had told me the day this photo was taken where we’d be in 15 years, I’d have died laughing.

When I left SPN in 2010, it was as 29-year-old Ava Broussard. When I filmed my last ever scene as Hannah Singer on September 10th, 2020 (see @jensenackles post to see the last photo taken of the two of us on set), it was as Ava Ackles, wife of ten years, mother to four wonderful children who was exactly one week away from turning forty… How the fuck did that happen??

This entire ride has been totally and utterly life-changing. It’s been humbling and elating. It’s also been overwhelming and terrifying at times. But none of that compares to how blessed and honoured I am to have been a small part of this phenomenal journey. To still hold a place in the hearts of you, the fans, after a DECADE away from Supernatural (minus a few pop-ups here and there!) completely blows my mind. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you have given me, my family and, of course, my husband. 

So many families have been born from this modest show. Including those of the two leading men! But the friendships? They are something special and will stand the test of time. The crew are one of the best in the business, and I’m a lucky woman to call so many of you a friend. None of the past 15 years could’ve been possible without your dedication. Special mention to Eric Kripke - I mean this wholeheartedly when I say I wouldn’t be where I am if it wasn’t for you and our dear and deeply missed friend, Kim Manners. All it took was one conversation with you guys in line at the WB’s studio café about The Bachelor and Jeopardy for you to invite me to audition for a role I honestly wasn’t sure I could give justice to. I’m glad I did Hannah, and you proud. I am floored by the kindness and compassion you have always shown me and everyone else who’s ever had a part, big or small, in the cast and crew of Supernatural.

Mark P, Mark S, Kevin, Matt, Ruth, Felicia, DJ, Emily, Alex, Briana, Kim, and Sam. I haven’t even worked with most of you, yet you are some of my closest friends. So, to you and the many others I know I’ve forgotten to mention, I extend my thanks for keeping my boys safe and happy. I hope our paths cross someday on a set somewhere. Until then, we’ll always have the Con circuits!

Jason, Rob, and Richard. Man! You made Cons super fun! They’re already fun, but you guys know how to throw a good karaoke party and Saturday Night Special! I should probably leave being a rock star to Jensen but hit me up if you want to record anything. Another duet with @officialbrianab, anyone? 👀🎤👯‍♀️

Jared. What the fuck can I say about you, Sasquatch? Words fail me. They really do. You are the brother I never had (or wanted!), and you mean so much to me. Thank you for not only being my confidant but my husband’s too. You are good and pure, and I love you so much. I am proud of you. The dedication in you, the strength you have, the sacrifices you have made, and the unyielding faith you have in everything you do shows what type of person you are under all of that ridiculous floppy hair. I love you, Texas! My adorably dorky little brother from another mother! Always Keep Fighting, Bitch.

To my screen dad, Jim: you are a gentleman of epically mega proportions, and I am truly blessed to know you. I’m a better person for having you in my life. Taking me on as a surrogate daughter is one of your most selfless acts. And trust me - you have done so many things that make you the epitome of a selfless man! You taught me so much about so many things, and I will forever be in your debt. I remember when I first met you, we had a very long and heartfelt conversation that had us spilling our hearts out to each other. Because of that, and because of you, I found the courage to turn the young girl in this photo into the woman she became and still is today. Thank you, Jim. I am so lucky to have your unconditional love, and you will always have mine. You have no idea what you truly mean to me and I can never repay all the compassion you have shown me.

Misha. Misha, Misha, Misha! We have a saying, us Bostonians, you know the one I’m talking about - you know you’re one of the good guys when we use an insult instead of your name. But the name I gave you when we met in 2008 is not repeatable on social media or anywhere! But know that it’s still true, and that’s still your name on my phone! Thank you, Misha. For everything. But especially for keeping your promise to take care of my boys upon my departure as Hannah. You did good! You are a great friend and a beautiful human being. When you said you wanted to be open-hearted, kind, and true like Castiel - you don’t need to fret, Mish. You already are.

Alright, I thought I was lost for words with Jared! Well, I’m even more lost when it comes to his better half - Genevieve. We formed our never-ending, always strengthening bond over pitchers of margaritas and extra greasy burgers in a sports bar during a Pats game. Despite the extremely unladylike horror I subjected you to, you still wanted to be my friend. Thank you for that - I know it wasn’t pretty. You are my guardian angel. Before we left the show together, we talked for hours about how we would stop each other from falling apart while we tried to figure out what happened next. We talked about every scenario we could come up with, but boy - we were so wrong and unprepared for it! We knew what being a part of this show was like. We lived it as actors and then later as wives. Still, it didn’t make it any easier to make a home and have a family when our husbands worked away for nine months of the year, so I thank you for being there for my kids and me. Always. No questions asked, no matter the circumstances, the reason or the distance between us. I will always be there to do the same for you. I adore you and your beautiful family.

I’ve saved the best for last - Jensen. Love of my life. My light in the darkness. My one and only. My person. My North Star. My home. The better part of me. Thank you for everything you do for our family. Thank you for giving me a family. I love you. So, fucking much, baby. The professionalism, dedication and sacrifices you have given to this show and its fans over the last 15 years stun me. I am in awe of you. Always have been and always will be. You carry yourself with grace and dignity, selflessly helping others in any way you can. Even if it’s in the smallest way. You care about everyone you meet, and your heart is so big and filled with love for what you do and for the people who love what you do. You are the most extraordinary man I know. Never change, Cowboy. Ever. Your love and support for me and our family knows no bounds, and I am truly the luckiest woman on the planet to be able to call you mine. You are the best husband and an amazing father, and I often wonder what I did to deserve you and our perfect babies. I won’t pretend it’s always been easy, nothing worth having ever is, but the shit we’ve been through has only served in making you stronger, making me stronger and making us stronger. We can conquer anything together, and I know I can take on the world because I have you by my side. I’m so blessed to be able to spend my life with my soulmate, and I cannot wait to start this new chapter with you. Time to Supe up, baby! 🦸 

I can sit here and say that I was ready to watch the series finale tonight. But I wasn’t. It’s over, and I’m still not ready. This show, these characters, and the fans have been a massive part of my life and my family for 15 YEARS! It’s a long damn time, and although the end has been in the making for 18 months, I just can’t find it in me to say goodbye. That word is too final, and I don’t think anyone in the SPN world is ready for that; yet. So, I sign off with arrivederci and leave it at “until we meet again”.

Family don’t end with blood. It never has. And to all the people I’ve mentioned in this long-ass note (sorry!), I’ve shown that. And trust me, there are so many more people in my family that I’ve privately thanked. I love you all ❤️

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jensenackles Wow! You got me right in the feels there, baby girl! I love you more than words can ever say. You are an inspiration to me, and trust me, it’s me who’s the lucky one because you chose me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your unfaltering patience, infinite understanding, unyielding support, and unconditional love throughout this journey. I couldn’t have done any of it without you by my side, Princess! Oh man, where did all this dust come from? Making my eyes water! I love you, Ava. Always and forever xx

jaredpadalecki You always had a beautiful way with words, Boston! I share Jensen’s sentiments about this dusty room aggravating my eyes! I am a better man because I know you. Thank you. I love you!

genpadalecki Ava, I love you girl! I’ll always love you! You don’t come out the other side of watching a Pats game with a superfan and just throw someone so passionate and loyal away! Thank you for walking right by my side through this crazy ride, even as you embarked on an even crazier one 🧟‍♂️

officialbrianab Uhmmm, another duet with you? WHERE DO I SIGN UP???

misha I can’t even right now. Your words have hit me hard and deeply. Once I’ve composed myself better, you’ll be hearing from me, Mrs Ackles! I love you, Ava.

THE END

Jensen / Dean Tags: @akshi8278 @deanwanddamons @siospins2 @sexyvixen7 @leigh70

Soulmates Tags: @deans-baby-momma

[all-for-geek]

I Lost You Once - Chapter Three: Taking Down the Man

Chapter 2

Chapter 4

Warning: Very Brief Mention of the Word Suicide

Word Count: 1465

Fandom: Alex Bale/Don’t Feed The Muse

Summary: ...Revenge. It’s the only thing on Ramona’s mind. But Kim has some misgivings. The sheer power of HMF, sure, but there’s another secret lurking above them.

Kim sat dumbfounded in her chair. Ramona had stated the most dangerous and hair-brained thing that she had ever heard as if Ramona was discussing going to get milk. Kim could still remember the inhuman things that nearly killed her the last time she was there. She could see what Ramona had become for standing against them already. There was only one thought in Kim’s mind.

“Are you out of your mind?” 

“I know it sounds crazy-”

“No, we past crazy about seven years ago. What you’re talking about: It’s closer to suicide.”

“I am not the only creature that escaped. It is not exactly an intelligent creature, but if we find it, along with the tapes and myself, we could expose what they’re doing.”

“Or we’ll die. And get fed to this “Mother” thing.”

“That’s what will happen anyway if we do nothing.”

Kim squinted at Ramona’s proclamation. “What are you talking about?”

“They’ve been expanding. Planning. A full on Little Shop of Horror with Mother starring as Audrey II. They’ve already started infiltrating. Recruiting others like they did me-”

“ Oh my god. Their sponsorship program.”

Ramona stepped off of her soapbox and stared at Kim. “You know about that?”

Kim sighed. She hadn’t meant to say what she did aloud. She considered trying to convince Ramona that she had said something different. Then she wouldn’t have to get involved in the madness more than she already was. She destroyed her old life to hide from those black gooey…things and she doubted that she would be lucky enough to get away a second time. But there was a spark in the dark, dark green holes that Ramona now called eyes. A spark that Kim had not seen since an old friend of hers had come to her with an idea for a sustainable meat farm. Ramona was doing this whether it was a good idea or not. Kim might as well help.

“I’ve been keeping track of it. The farm. Enough to know where to stay away from. I’ve been making a list of anyone I’ve found that is connected to Happy Meat Farms. It started as companies to avoid, but I dug a little and discovered that they were branching out into sponsorship programs. I added them to the list just to be safe.”

“Those people are in danger. We have to find them.” 

“Wait why?”

“They aren’t sponsorship partners. They’re targets. HR finds people vulnerable and gullible enough to work with them…and…and” Black tears once again poured out Ramona’s facial pores. Kim gently held her tentacle. She didn’t need Ramona to spell out the specifics. She figured whatever it was was bad.

“We’ll find them,” Kim promised. “The list is in my office. Let me clean up and I’ll show you.”

Ramona nodded quietly and slowly stood up to move into the hallway. Kim gathered the cups and placed them in the sink. Her eyes fell to the bag of groceries on the counter. She had to tell Ramona. Soon. She wondered how Ramona would react. Would she be mad? Scared? God, should she just rip off the band-aid now? But what if Ramona tries to attack her or storms off? Kim got her best friend back, and if she lost her again so soon, knowing what is going on now-

Kim opened the fridge and threw the whole bag in before slamming the door shut. The gust of cool air shocked her senses and stopped her train of thought in its tracks.

“Tomorrow,” Kim thought, “I’ll talk to Connie tonight. And tell Ramona tomorrow.” Kim walked out into the hallway praying that Ramona hadn’t noticed her absence. Or the refrigerator door slam.

Ramona barely noticed Kim walking up next to her. She was transfixed on the table in the hallway. More specifically, the picture of the two of them that Kim had been staring at just this morning. 

“We were so young back then,” Ramona whispered to herself.

“It feels like that picture was taken a lifetime ago.”

“It was. We aren’t those women anymore.” 

Ramona continued to stare at the photo. Kim stood there watching her, not knowing what to say.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I’m sorry. For everything. If I hadn’t been so stupid and taken Mother’s deal, then-”

“You couldn’t have known-”

“If a giant blob monster offers you your greatest desire in exchange for meat you should know where that leads. But I was so scared of the farm failing that I sacrificed you, my soul, the entire planet! I just…I know it will never be enough…but I am sorry.”

Kim put her hand on what she assumed was Ramon’s shoulder. “You didn’t know how bad it would get, and now that you do, you are doing everything you can to stop them. You fucked up. Royally. But now, you and I are going to make those assholes pay. And for what it’s worth, I never blamed you,” Kim lied. She recalled the nights she’d lay awake at night. The nights where her mind convinced her that those creatures, the children, were at her door ready to drag her back. The nights where her anger lashed out at Ramona because of it. The nights she felt guilty after. But that couldn’t matter now. Ramona was here, and they had work to do.

“Come on,” she continued, “My office is through here.” Kim opened a door to the right of the table. Her “office” as she put it was more like a detective’s cork board went through a tornado. Various papers and documents were strewn across the floor and desk at seemingly reckless abandon with the filing cabinet in the corner being filled to the brim. Ironically, the only organized part of the room was the actual cork board on the opposite wall from the door. Newspaper clippings and Facebook profile pictures were pinned to it with the Happy Meat Farms logo connecting everything in the middle. Ramona’s eye holes widened at the sight.

“How do you…”

“I do,” was the only response. Kim lifted up a few papers to reveal a loose floorboard. Inside was a personal safe that she swiftly unlocked. “This is where I keep anything that I definitely don’t want anyone finding.”

Kim took out a manilla folder labeled “STAY AWAY”. She took out the first page and showed Ramona a piece of paper with the names of various companies and people. A few names were scratched off or had question marks next to them. Kim pointed to the three names at the bottom.

“These are the only confirmed sponsorship partners I’ve found. I have suspicions that there are more, but these are the only ones that have gone public about it.”

“We’ll need to get into contact with them as soon as possible. If they’ve already been targeted then they could be taken at any time.” Ramona continued to scan the list as her jaw unhinged, revealing her rows of teeth as she yawned. Kim glanced at the clock on the wall startled that it was already past midnight.

“We’ll see if we can track them down tomorrow and go from there. It’s getting late. We can both use some sleep.”

Ramona nodded and allowed herself to be led to Kim’s room. She put up little resistance to being offered Kim’s bed before falling asleep almost immediately. Kim wondered how long she had been since she had properly slept.

Kim exited her room and eyed the trapdoor to the attic. She sighed. A part of her felt guilty for not telling Ramona, especially after all that had happened, but she couldn’t in good conscience reveal Connie before warning her first.

Kim slowly opened the trapdoor and winced as it creaked. She paused to ensure that she could still hear Ramona’s snores. She thanked the fact Ramona had always been a sound sleeper.

Connie was facing away from Kim when she entered the attic. The single lightbulb casted shadows on the sparse furniture and silhouetted her in the corner. The only response she gave were pencil scratches on her notebook. A single page was slid into the light.

                                  I heard voices. Who is here?

“Yeah that’s actually why I’m up here. We need to talk.”

The silhouetted figure stood up from the corner and slowly moved towards the light. It was always uncanny when the two of them stood face-to-face. Connie’s long, black hair and brown eyes. Her slacked jawline and tanned skin. Even the yellow sweatshirt she wore that had been a Christmas present from Kim’s grandmother. She was an exact copy of Kim from seven years ago.

She wiped black residue from her nose before doing a series of hand gestures. Kim recognized the ASL that she had taught Connie.

“What is it?”

[gdays]

6/14/2022

Well it's been 3 months since I've posted here, but maybe I'll start again!

I broke up with gin about a month and a half ago, maybe 2. Things were getting worse and worse between us and I couldn't do it anymore. He was extremely toxic after the break up (grabbed my face to force me to kiss him, posted a ton of mean stuff about me, still continues to beg me to fuck him while also posting mean things about me, and more). I'm honestly just relieved that I'm single again! But today he emailed me(hes blocked everywhere else) saying he really wants to tell everyone all my secrets but that he wont. I feel like its gunna be blackmail for him to use to try to get me to come see him at his aunt's house. I really hope not.

Since the breakup, I had a brief fwb thing with this guy greg but it turned out he doesnt support black lives matter so I cut him off. I've also been sleeping with and seeing willem, the person me and gin had a 3 way with at one point, and I've become the fwb to mike and kim, the couple I met off whisper who are super cool. I'm in love with willem, I cant stop thinking about them and we actually do go out on dates and cuddle and stuff but we've talked about how we wanna take things really slow and not get into any serious kind of relationship so they dont know I love them and I'm gunna keep taking things slow and just treasuring any time I get with them. Willem lives in souix city so I drive up to visit them about once a week and I look forward to it so much every time.

I've realized I'm really liking this seeing multiple people thing so I think I'm gunna stop allowing myself to get into monogamous relationships and I'm going to be poly for good. I've always said I can either be poly or monogamous but I think monogamy isn't for me. I talked to willem about it and they said they dont want anything monogamous either, so if they do become my partner (I really really hope so) I've already had that talk with them about it!

I'm so so so happy now that im out of the relationship with gin. Of course I loved him and I do think about him/miss him from time to time, but the lack of toxicity in my life has been wonderful. I do what I want when I want and I dont have to answer to anyone. I am allowed to actually have private things that are only for me and that never happened when I was with gin. Like I dont feel obligated to tell my various partners about everything going on because some of it is just for me and i love that!! Plus I get so much alone time that I had craved when gin lived here. It's amazing.

I also recently had my left hand surgery for the carpel tunnel and my right hand is coming up at the end of the month. My left is finally not keeping me up all night, it's only the right one that does now, so I'm confident that after the second surgery I'll actually get a good nights sleep after all this time of having this damn carpet tunnel!

Im still at red lobster and I love it just as much as before. Im also going to metro for culinary school starting in september and I'm hoping that'll get me a better paying cooking job! I'd get to do what I love and make extra money, itll be so great if I can make it thru the school part! I really hope so honestly, it's only supposed to take 2 years if you go full time. This first semester I'm only taking 3 classes but after that I'm supposed to be on a full time schedule. I know mom and dad would still support me and still let me live here if I do end up needing to take longer than 2 years for culinary school tho, which is great. Oh and also they're not making me move out until I'm done with school so I'll be here for quite a while longer, but honestly I'm grateful. Moving is extremely stressful, plus if I went to school and had to work full time to try to make rent too I just know I'd end up quitting school due to the stress. So my parents are doing me a colossal favor by letting me stay until I'm out of school. I'm eternally grateful.

Now that I'm thinking of it, maybe I should get them a big gift for letting me stay! I could start paying for a disney plus subscription that they can use and then maybe get something nice for them both separately too. I am absolutely gunna do that cuz I don't show them enough that I love them anyways.

Mady is nonbinary and using they or she for pronouns. They say they're officially done with Darius (they had gotten back together for a while) and she actually hasn't seen him for like a month now and shes seeing some other dudes, so maybe she really wont take d bag back! But I wont keep my hopes up on that. Them and Taylor moved in together but both are really struggling to make rent because they dont have jobs like mine where the paycheck is consistent since doordash doesnt give a regular pay to the drivers, they just make money based off of each delivery and it's not that much money compared to the insane gas prices right now ($4.80 a gallon today when I went to fill up). I'm worried for mady especially because she is planning on trying to live alone when their lease is up in a few months even tho she cant afford to live with a roommate. I hope she decides to come stay with us for a while before getting a new places because idk how she could afford it. I know this sounds bad, but I really hope they meet a nice rich man who will take care of them and let her be a stay at home mom like they've always wanted. Like that's been mady's dream since she was a kid and I think being a mom is the only passion they've ever really had so I hope it happens for them soon so that they dont have to keep struggling to hold a job when their autism already makes that extremely difficult.

Max is going to uno in the fall instead of Lincoln because he hates it there. I'm happy for him, I think more of his friends are here in Omaha so being here will be good for him I think.

Also 2 days ago the family got a new dog named ellie short for eloise 😁shes so fucking tiny, a little 10 year old maltese. Shes been sticking to her little dog bed since she got here, but she'll slowly warm up to us I believe.

[btsqualityy]

Truth or Drink: A Run!BTS Special Part 3

Namjoon x Reader

Genre/Rate: 18+, fluff, crack

Summary: You and your husband play a game of Truth or Drink for Run BTS

Warnings: Some sexual questions and mentions of depression.

WC: 1.3K

“Namjoon, Y/N, thank you for coming to play Truth or Drink for Run BTS,” the producer began. “Are either of you nervous?”

“I think we both kind are,” Namjoon chuckled.

“Just some introductory questions to start us off,” the producer said. “How long have the two of you been together?”

“9 years,” you smiled. 

“And how did you meet?”

“We met at the underground hip hop club that Namjoon used to perform at all the time, predebut,” you told him. 

“Ok so we’re gonna jump right into the game,” the producer continued. “The two of you will ask each other questions and the other can either answer it truthfully or take a drink and not have to answer the question. We have a lovely selection of spirits right next to you on the table, as well as some regular juice and water as well. Sound good?”

“Easy enough,” Namjoon smiled. 

“Alright Namjoon, you start us off then,” the producer said. 

“Ok,” he nodded, reaching out and picking up a card. “We all have relationship deal breakers, so what’s the one thing that would make you end our relationship?”

“Wow, starting off heavy,” you joked, making Namjoon laugh. “Uh, I don’t know. Probably...attempted murder?”

“Think of something a little less extreme,” the producer laughed. “Like, what about cheating?”

“You know, I could probably forgive Namjoon if he did that,” you said.

“Really?” Namjoon murmured in surprise. “Huh.”

“That doesn’t mean go do it, though.”

“Obviously,” Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Your turn.”

“Would you ever want me to have cosmetic surgery or plastic surgery, and on what part of my body and why?” You asked. 

“I like your body the way that it is,” he responded. 

“So you wouldn’t change anything?”

“Nope. I don’t have any complaints,” he laughed. “Would you change something about yourself?”

“I’d get a boob job,” you confessed. “My boobs dropped when I breastfed the kids and they never went back.”

“Well, you still look beautiful jagi,” Namjoon told you. 

“Thanks,” you blushed. “Next question.”

“What was the wildest kink you have ever done or that you'd like to do with your partner?” He questioned.

“We’ve talked about this before but I want to try having sex somewhere semi-public,” you revealed. “The only thing is trying to figure out a way to do it where we won’t get caught and go to jail.”

“Exactly,” Namjoon cackled as he grabbed a new card. “I’m down for it though, you know that. Alright, onto the next one. Who was your best sexual partner?” Without even saying anything, you just grabbed the bottle of soju and began to pour yourself the shot. Namjoon watched in silence as you slammed the shot back, cringing afterwards at the taste. 

“Well, I guess that answers that,” Namjoon huffed as he set his card off to the side while you grabbed one. 

“Is there something that you love that you’ve sacrificed for me?”

“To a certain degree, my music,” he replied. “I love being in Bangtan and making music that I love but I can’t be as dedicated to it as I used to be before I married you and before we had the kids.”

“Are you alright with that?” The producer wondered.

“Yeah, because I knew it would happen when I decided to have a family,” Namjoon said. “And I think the trade-off is pretty damn good. I may not get to spend as much time in the studio but it’s because I’m at home with my girl and my son and my daughter so it’s pretty even in my mind. Plus, I enjoy getting to be just Kim Namjoon more often. I don’t always have to be RM, leader of BTS.”

“Y/N, did you know he felt like this?”

“Mmhm,” you nodded. “Whenever Namjoon’s thinking of something pretty serious, he’ll usually come to me to verbalize his thoughts so I knew how he was feeling. His first love in life was music though, and I’m very comfortable with him honoring that when and if he needs to.”

“Ok, moving on,” Namjoon said. “If there was one thing you could say to me right now that you’ve been keeping from me, what would it be?”

“I’m not keeping anything from you so nothing,” you replied before grabbing a new card. “Oh, this is interesting. Who’s smarter, me or you?”

“I’m not touching that one,” he scoffed, grabbing the bottle of soju and pouring himself a drink.

“Oh, come on!” You giggled. “You’re really not gonna answer it?”

“Nope,” he muttered before swallowing the alcohol and taking a new card from the pile. “Who is your bias in BTS?”

“It’s Yoongi,” you laughed. 

“Does that both you Namjoon?” The producer questioned. 

“It used to because if she’s gonna like someone from rapline, I’d prefer it be me,” Namjoon chuckled. “But I’ve gotten over it over the years.”

“Ok, next question,” you said. “When did you realize that you were in love with me?”

“I think we had been dating for about four months and we were at the park that we like to go to, and I just looked over at you and that’s when I realized,” Namjoon explained. 

“Just like that?” You smiled. 

“Just like that,” he nodded as he grabbed a new card. “It was that simple for me. Now, new question. Have you ever thought about cheating on me?”

“Nope, not even once,” you stated firmly. “Have you?”

“No,” he shook his head. 

“Not even when I had postpartum?”

“Did you really just ask me that?” He tsked. 

“Can either of you elaborate on this please?” The producer requested. 

“When Y/N had our son, Mason, she had postpartum depression and she is silently convinced that I cheated on her during that time period,” Namjoon explained.

“Why else would you have stayed?” You chuckled ruefully. “You said so yourself that you fell out of love with me during that period, we weren’t affectionate with each other really and we damn sure weren’t having sex so you had to have been getting it from somewhere.”

“Did I fall out of love with you at the time? Yes, but that wasn’t because of you,” he began. “It was because the depression changed you. I never faulted you for that though which is why I stayed, besides the fact that you’re also the love of my life. I knew that with time and work and patience, you would go back to the Y/N-ah that I married and you did. I’d never cheat on you while you were going through something like that though, ever and it’s annoying that you think so.”

“I’m sorry Joon,” you apologized. “I just...can’t help but to think those things sometimes, you know?”

“I know, and I know that you’re still trying,” he murmured, reaching across the table and grabbing your hands in his. “But one thing you never have to worry about is doubting me, ok?”

“Ok,” you nodded, giggling when Namjoon reached out and booped your nose.

“Come on, we have one last question,” he said as he released your hands and picked up the last card. “Have you ever seriously considered breaking up with me?”

“Only once, and it was when I was having postpartum depression,” you confessed. “I just felt like both him and Mason deserved so much better than I could give them at the time, so I thought I should just leave.”

“What made you change your mind?” The producer asked. 

“I saw the two of them playing together and I realized what I’d be leaving behind,” you said. “They were my family and even though it was fucking hard, I just had to tough it out because it would get better eventually. And it did, luckily. Now, we have an amazing son who’s super smart and a daughter who’s the sweetest person ever. I could’ve never hoped for anything more.”

“I agree,” Namjoon nodded. “And I’m so proud of you for preserving for our family Y/N-ah.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, leaning over the table and kissing him gently.

“Thank you both for coming and playing, as well as being so transparent,” the producer said.

“We were probably a little too transparent,” you giggled. 

“Wanna take a shot for making it through?” Namjoon asked and you nodded your head, watching as Namjoon quickly poured you both shots. 

“To us,” he toasted and you both clinked the glasses together before downing the alcohol. 

[chateautae]

maybe i do | kth. I

➵ summary :  maybe you love each other, maybe you don’t. when a deal between your fathers leaves you forcefully wedding kim taehyung, arguably seoul’s most powerful CEO, you’re prepared for a loveless marriage of eternal regret and unhappiness. but maybe, it doesn’t turn out that way after all.

↳  part of the high-class series!

➵ pairing : taehyung x reader

➵ genre :  arranged marriage!au, ceo!tae, s2l!au, eventual smut, fluff, angst 

➵ rating : 18+

➵ word count : 11k

➵ warnings : swearing, alcohol consumption, anxiety, lots of feels about marriage, a stupid ex (reader’s), mentions of bad sexual experiences with ex (there’s consent, just bad sex that makes the reader feel shitty), does ceo tae count as a warning? 

➵ a/n: hello my first fic of my favourite trope arranged marriage, AND with kim taehyung?? yes pls !! this will be a series and I’ll be actively working on it so you don’t have to wait too long for chapters, i hope you can follow this series with me <33

chapter one : “my forever’s falling down”  

prev. ↞ || ↠ next  || masterlist

“Another one, Father? I thought I told you my secretary would be handling marriage profiles from now on. Stop concerning yourself with who I marry.” 

“But I do, son. Trust me, I know this girl, she’s the daughter of a trusted friend and I think she’s a good match.” 

“Father, everyone you choose for me I dislike and it’s distracting me from my work. I don’t need this right now.” 

“She’s different, Taehyung. I personally know her and I’m certain you won’t say no.” 

“And why is that?” 

“There’s something about her you won’t refuse, son, you’ll notice it when you meet her.” 

“I don’t want to meet her, Father. Like I said, I need to work.” 

“I just knew you’d act this way. Want to know something, son? I’ve made her part of a business deal, you can’t back out of this.”

“What? You made her part of a business deal?! Why would you-”

“Because you wouldn’t have given her a chance otherwise, you haven’t been giving anyone a chance since I’ve been setting up potential partners for you and I’m sick of it. You said you were open to an arranged marriage, where’s that attitude now?”

“Because, Father, I have a company to run and that’s-”

“No. I will not allow you to reduce your life to just this company. There are far more enjoyable things in life than a business.”

“But Father-”

“No, Taehyung. One thing you need to learn is balance. If you don’t give anyone or anything a chance you will live a lonely life behind your desk. Even in this cutthroat world of business where you can lose money or be betrayed by anyone at any moment, the most painful thing to suffer is loneliness, and I won’t let you live in this world alone.”

“Dad-”

“You will meet this girl, Taehyung, end of discussion.” 

“Dad! I told you I want nothing to do with your company, how could you let me get dragged into this?!” 

“Y/N-ie, I know you value the life you have without any of my help, but let me help just this once, especially with finding a husband. I’m being offered the deal of a lifetime and I can’t refuse, he just happens to be part of it. I need this for the company, please.”

“But Dad, I don’t even know him. And if he’s the CEO of some rich company he’s probably an asshole, I’m not doing this.” 

“Y/N-ie, trust me, I know his son. He’s a sincere, hard-working man, I promise.”

“Yeah, right. Even if that’s the case, I still don’t know him, let alone love him, Dad. How can you make me marry someone I don’t love?”

“Because you can learn to love him. There are no rules concerning the way two people should fall in love, love doesn’t always need to come first.”

“But Dad-”

“My daughter, I have not asked you for many things in my life, but this is one thing I must ask of you. Please, just meet him, don’t say no without even trying.”

“Dad, I don’t know-”

“Please, Y.N, do it for me. If not for the company or money, please do it for me.”

And here you were, fidgeting with the tips of your nails, tuning in and out of the present world and overthinking every aspect of your life that somehow lead you to this moment. Sitting on a Leather Italia couch in what was described to be Mr. Kim’s study; listening to your father’s incessant, albeit wholesome chatter next to you with your future in-laws across. 

And next to them was their suave, unreadable son sitting in a relaxed manner, flipping his attention between your fathers’ conversation and anything else in the room.

You on the other hand, were utterly high strung due to the fact that your father failed to mention your future fiancé’s identity until 30 minutes before arriving here, having done a quick search in the car to unveil who he exactly was.

And that’s when it hit you. You weren’t marrying just anyone, you were getting married to Kim Taehyung. The infamous CEO of Kim Enterprises—Korea’s largest software development and manufacturing company, rivaling to be one of the largest in the world. He was part of Seoul’s most prestigious circle of businessmen, having made multiple Forbes international lists of Most Successful, Youngest, Richest, and is even one of Korea’s most eligible bachelors, not just Seoul.

If this wasn’t already taking you out, then it was definitely the fact that his photos through a measly Google search did him absolutely, utterly and completely no justice. They simply could never capture the truth of just how handsome Kim Taehyung was in real life. You couldn’t deny it, he wasn’t just good-looking, he was stunning, gorgeous, seemed as though God had created the universe, heaven and hell in 6 days and left the 7th just to create him. 

He was like a work of art, worthy of being placed in the finest of museums and left untouched, unsodden by the ugliness of humanity. It made you feel extremely inferior to him in an instant. It was sickening, he was sickening, intoxicating, and quite frankly, intimidating.

It was his look, his undivided stare when he eventually settled his sight on you. It didn’t matter his dark hair that landed and perfectly curled above his eyes, the way he occasionally licked his plush lips or how his long, tall legs spread out before him, it was his look that made you want to turn tail and run.  

It seemed to reach into your soul, peer straight through whatever façade, walls or defense mechanisms you could spend years building only to have his simple look tear it down in minutes. He was alluring, captivating, left you wanting to cower into whatever hole you could dig yourself into or discover all the secrets he hid behind those enchanting eyes.

Kim Taehyung was many things you couldn’t quite wrap your head around, though you assessed your priorities and decided they didn’t just include him, but mainly the significance of the current meeting taking place right now. 

It wasn’t a mere one-time business deal to discuss a project, it was a meeting that entailed the partnership of both your family companies and would define the next however many years of your life. More specifically, spending it with the exact same man that looked at you without a single readable expression on his face. 

You distracted yourself by trying to observe as many useless things as you could, flitting around the room many times before suddenly glancing at Taehyung’s index finger coming up to rest against his lips.

You zeroed your vision in more. 

Is that a cut on his finger?

“Jae-in, of course! This is just as important to me as it is to you, your son is a remarkable CEO, and I’m sure he’ll make an amazing husband.” 

“Aish, Namhyun, you flatter me too much. My son may be handsome, though your daughter is even more beautiful. I’m very sure she will make a wonderful wife.”

“Yes, Namhyun, your daughter is absolutely gorgeous! Just as gorgeous as her mother. I know she wasn’t able to make it, though may I ask where your wife is tonight?” 

“Ah, unfortunately, she’s out of the country. Though I was hoping my presence would be enough to fill in for her, am I doing a bad job?” 

Laughter erupted from the parents in the room, meanwhile, Taehyung couldn’t help but notice the way you immediately winced at the mention of your mother. Something he definitely wouldn’t miss with the way he found himself examining your every move. 

It was habitual to him, something born out of his roots in business, only for the purpose of calculating and reading people like an open book. 

He knew you’d also become victim to that habit, though oddly enough, he found himself quite interested in observing you. He had already figured you out; you hated business, there was a clear disconnection between yourself and your father’s company and you reeked of a sense of independence that funnily contradicted the antsy way you bounced your leg. 

Your way of speech, however, mannerisms, gestures, your look; it was all professional enough you clearly have some sort of background in business. You seemed like an heiress to Taehyung, which you were, though you oddly had no interest in business?   

All these details piqued his interest, curious of just who you exactly were, but he was mainly intrigued by the mysterious claim his father made upon mentioning you for the first time. 

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

That had raked Taehyung’s brain consistently for the past hour now, crossing his legs loosely and his arms folded over his chest, contemplating over and over again as he looked at you, what’s so damn special about her? 

‘You’ll notice it when you meet her,’ the words rang in his ears.

That was the driving force behind his calculation, observation, near inability to take his eyes off of you as he learned new things nearly every minute and led him closer to understanding his father.  

He could tell you were an anxious person, though hid it behind a persona of false confidence. You had a tendency to stick close to your father despite observing you don’t rely on him for much of anything, even less your mother. The softness behind your every movement despite being from a business background where you should be harsh, rigid, rough around the edges, and yet you seemed entirely different.

Taehyung then realized how inherently dissimilar you were to many of the other women he met. They were all relatively of the same cut and look. Cold, sharp, cunning. All women of pure business; daughters, granddaughters or straight CEOs of wealthy companies, simply interested in marriage as a deal or an advantage rather than a commitment. 

And there was absolutely nothing wrong with that. Taehyung was a man of business himself, married to his work, his home behind a desk and the company the only thought occupying his mind 24/7.

But with you, you were interesting, unlike the others and it made him curious.

Taehyung also couldn’t help but notice you were...pretty. You weren’t too overly sexy nor too innocent, you were pretty. There was an elegance to your looks, features like your hair and eyes complementing you as a whole, and he couldn’t miss that you felt oddly...warm.

Taehyung found himself beginning to understand his father’s original viewpoint, considering the possibility he could’ve been correct. 

You just seemed different. 

“Ah, that seems to be everything. Exact details about the wedding have already been put in place by us.”

“Yes! We’ve been waiting for our TaeTae to get married for so long. We’ve had plans for months now and we can finally move forward with them! You and Y/N don’t need to worry about anything!” 

“Mom, did you really just call me that in front of my future fiancé?” 

“Oh, let it go, son. It won't be long before she calls you that, too!” 

Taehyung could only playfully roll his eyes at his overly excited mother, you scrunching your nose at the embarrassment.

“That’s incredibly generous of you, Mr. and Mrs. Kim, though my conscience is not one to let such things go. My family should contribute to the wedding in some way. Y/N and I would be happy to do so.”

“Why don’t we discuss that outside? I believe we should give the future couple some time alone, shall we?” 

You and Taehyung exchanged a quick look before standing up and respectively addressing either’s parents, Taehyung shutting the door behind them once they exited and having turned to look at you, an awkward silence piercing the air. 

There it was again, his look. It was irrefutably the one reason you avoided eye contact with him, you felt he would swallow you up if you shared even 5 seconds between each other.

“So...” Taehyung suddenly broke the ice, eyeing you.

“So...” 

“Marriage, huh?” 

“Yeah, marriage. Never done that one before.” If there wasn’t a time you vehemently hated yourself, then it was undoubtedly now. You internally facepalmed at your dumb comment, adding a laugh at the end in embarrassment only to look away. 

“Uh..yeah.” Taehyung laughed awkwardly. “Me neither, if you didn’t already know.” He tucked his hands into his pockets and looked away, you fidgeting by the couches everyone previously occupied. 

A beat of silence passed as you both exchanged looks between objects in the room and each other, either of you pursing your lips or blowing light raspberries to cut the awkwardness. 

“I wanted to ask you something.” 

“Hm?” You turned towards him, lips just a pout as your doe-eyes awaited him. 

Taehyung didn’t miss that at all. 

“Um, your mother. I apologize if this is intrusive of me, though I couldn’t help but notice I’ve never actually met her. May I ask where she is?” 

You let out a dry chuckle before answering, another detail that didn’t slip Taehyung’s attention. “Trust me, Taehyung, one thing you’ll never have to worry about during this entire ordeal is my mother. She should be the last thing on your mind.” You assured him with what he could tell was your fakest smile, distracting him from the realization you’d said his name for the first time.

“Are you sure? I’ll be meeting her at the wedding so-”

“You won’t. I don’t think you will. Even if she does make it, it takes very little to impress her, just be yourself and she’ll love you.” You stated with a sense of finality, as though the topic should be dropped. 

“Be myself? I’m one of the best businessmen in Korea. It’s my job to get people to like me, easy stuff.” He casually gloated. 

“You don’t only have to be a businessman to do that,” you paused and looked at him, “you can just be Kim Taehyung, too.” You spoke nonchalantly, eyes lingering with his for longer than 5 seconds and he, in fact, had not swallowed you yet. 

Taehyung instantly furrowed his eyebrows, taken aback as if your suggestion was something outlandish, absurd, maybe even offending.

Nobody has ever said such a thing to him, not throughout the entirety of his life. 

Taehyung tried his best to recover, searching for another topic of conversation before he was cut off by your rather soft voice, he noticed. 

“Oh, I wanted to give you this.” You stepped towards him, reaching into your purse and retrieving something Taehyung couldn’t quite see. You strided over and extended your hand, Taehyung finding himself even more confused.

“A bandage?” 

“Mhm. For the cut on your finger. You should probably clean it and apply something before putting this on.” You stated nonchalantly once again, offering him a small smile whilst holding out the bandage. 

“Uh...” Taehyung started but couldn’t complete his sentence, lost on how you even observed something as small as his cut and spoke of treating it like it was an actual injury.  

After his struggle to form a sentence, you grew bold enough to gently remove his hand from his pocket and place the bandage in his palm, looking back up at him. You shared a momentary look with his chocolate eyes, instantly scrambling after realizing your hand was still in his.

He has really big hands. 

“We should um...probably go.” You avoided his eyes, stepping aside quickly to pull the door open.

Taehyung’s mind felt displaced, eyebrows furrowed in confusion at the fact that someone had actually left him with nothing to say, an extremely rare occurrence in his book.

He was even more displaced looking at the measly wrapper in his hand, then at the cut on the side of his finger, playing through the last 5 minutes of what just happened.

He scoffed to himself.

‘There’s something about her you won’t refuse.’

It had been 3 weeks since that meeting, not having seen Taehyung once as you wasted your time enjoying single life luxuries before you prepared for one of marriage.

It still felt odd to say such a thing, marriage, because it didn’t even feel like one, or a real one at that. It was forced, fake, a pressured one out of convenience. It felt more like a deal, something Taehyung and yourself had to settle for in order to keep your parents’ minds at ease.

That thought racked your brain all those 3 weeks; Taehyung had to settle for you, he didn’t choose you, just as much as you settled for him and didn’t choose him either. You both had ultimately agreed to the marriage only in an effort to optimize your parents’ happiness, not your own.

You had no clue how he felt, a mystery as much as the Bermuda Triangle, knowing he most certainly had a grand pick of women to choose from and you were most definitely his worst option.

You knew you were suddenly dumped on him, leaving him no choice in the matter as you learned your marriage entailed a beneficial business deal between your fathers’ companies, and Taehyung couldn’t really refuse you with so much on the line.

You had already felt inferior to Taehyung since the moment you met him, though your insecurities seeped further into the crevices of your doubtful mind the more you thought over that sad fact, contemplating a married life with him. In your opinion you were pretty much undesirable to him, Taehyung probably kicking himself knowing he had to unwillingly call you his wife for the rest of his life. 

You just knew you weren’t good enough for him, you would never measure up no matter how hard you’d try and that utterly terrified you. You were confident and independent when it came to yourself, though wedding a near perfect being regarded as one of Seoul’s finest in terms of a CEO and a man? 

Confidence be damned, this dude was intimidating. 

These were the feelings that swarmed your head as you sulked at your over-the-top engagement party, set up in a prestigious buildings’ gorgeous 37th floor riddled with baroque styling and embellishments, classical music gracing some of Seoul’s wealthiest patrons as their flutes clinked and snobby chatter filled the hall. 

It was all extremely high-status, reeking of upper class supremacy and quite frankly, it made you want to throw up.

You distracted yourself by bringing any and all types of alcohol to your lips, trying to focus on anything but your daunting thoughts.

The entire night you hadn’t talked to Taehyung, both of you having been too occupied with the numerous amounts of people meeting and congratulating you. This became a genuine nuisance as you’d mentioned before, this marriage was of convenience, one that brought families and companies together merrily and constituted hundreds of people attending your engagement party you didn’t really know.

Your friends were excited, over-the-moon you bagged a man like Taehyung and chastised you for not having told them about your engagement to him earlier. Your relatives similarly scolded you, pinching your cheeks and praising Taehyung like he was a God while they scrunched their noses at you for concealing him.

How could I tell you when I didn’t even know myself?, you thought.

It was funny they praised your ‘choice’ of a fiancé, positive nobody was saying the same to Taehyung without at least lying. The public only knew of you as your father’s daughter, never having seen you due to your vehement absence from anything remotely related to his company, and much of the business world in general. 

You weren’t part of that world, a world of greed and money-driven lunatics. It just wasn't you. It never suited you, left you with a bad taste in your mouth you constantly grimaced at and thought maybe you were the insane one for not understanding its flavour. As you grew older, however, you came to realize it simply wasn’t the path meant for you, someone who valued the independence and achievement of earning something for yourself, by yourself.

Ever since the inception of that principal, your young teenage self resolved you didn’t want to rely on your father’s wealth, especially not his influence or power to achieve your own place in life.

Your father had worked determinedly hard for years in order to stand as high he does now, warranting your acute admiration for your role model of a father, his now successful architecture business landing him a few buildings part of the Seoul skyline.

And after finally achieving his dream, it suddenly morphed into your own aspiration. His hard work drove you to want your own design part of Seoul’s breathtaking scenery as well, by means of your own effort, your own hard work. You didn’t want your father’s help. It felt wrong, like you were cheating if you used him to gain your place and so you condemned your life to one that separated yours and his. 

So you lived, worked and earned money without any of his influence.

You worked for an average architecture company where you felt comfortable, happy that you were away from the suffocating high-status business of your family. And although your detachment left your identity a mystery to many, your situation on the other hand was an extremely infamous one.

‘The-runaway-heiress’, was your staple trademark. The judgmental comments about your choice of life and the insults it warranted were never-ending, subjected to that criticism all your life.

There was no doubt Taehyung was hearing all of that, people probably warning him to step out of the marriage before it was too late. You weren’t like Taehyung, who was perfect, desirable, someone everyone either wanted or wanted to be. It left you glad and quite frankly, proud to be wedding a man of such caliber and incredibility, though left you wondering why in God’s name he would ever agree to marry someone like you; average, average and well, average.

“That’s your 5th shot, Y/N, slow the fuck down.” Your best friend Hana’s voice pulled you out of your thoughts, snatching the shot glass from your grasp. “It wouldn’t be cool if you were trashed at your own party, dummy.” 

Her sudden appearance brought a smile to your face. “I know, I just don’t feel well.” You sighed by the counter of the bar, seated atop a stool as you circled an empty shot glass mindlessly. 

“I get you, there’s like, hundreds of people here and you’re probably hearing a lot of different shit.” Hana appealed to you, having read your emotions like an open book. “Speaking of people, I wanted to ask, what’s up with Taehyung and his stare?”

You stifled a snort, looking at Hana’s incredulous face. “It’s just a habit of his. He stares at everyone.”

“Okay... sure, but I didn’t mean everyone, I meant you.” Hana emphasized, comically pointing.

You furrowed your eyebrows at her, arm leaning against the bar’s counter as you questioned, “What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t really stop staring at you, which is kinda weird. Unless you like that, I don’t judge people’s kinks.” Hana mockingly held her hands up in surrender, gauging a reaction out of you. 

You instantly grimaced, “It’s not a kink, Hana. Nice joke by the way, wanna sign up for SNL with that one?”

“I’m serious! I’ve been catching him just looking at you and I don’t know if it’s weird or hot.” Hana informed as you became more puzzled, her becoming oddly excited, “Awh, maybe he’s concerned with how much you keep drinking! That’s so romantic.” She chimed, looking off into the distance dreamily.

“Shut the fuck up, he wouldn’t do that.” You smacked her arm, snatching your shot glass back from her. “Besides, you’re one of the rare people who knows this marriage is fake, you know he doesn’t care.”

“Jheez, way to kill romance?” Hana rolled her eyes, smacking your arm in rebuttal before continuing. “I’m serious, though. This may be fake but he really does keep looking at you, and I don’t know what it means.” Hana speculated, contorting her lips as if in thought.

“It means nothing, Hana. You’re just seeing things.”

“Then why has he been staring at you depressed by the bar for the last half an hour?”

You nearly spit out your drink, “What?”

“Are you clueless or just dumb? He’s been talking to someone for 30 minutes but most of the time he’s been looking at you, and he still is, how haven’t you noticed?”

You creased your eyebrows in surprise as you slowly lowered your shot glass. You turned away from Hana to scan the small crowds of people mingling, eating, drinking in the hall.

You searched the room, drink still in hand until your eyes caught tall, dark and handsome in his finely pressed suit, casually standing with a drink in his hand by a table speaking to someone. You nearly jumped when your eyes locked with Taehyung’s, every cell in your body caught off guard.

What made your heart specifically race was the way he didn’t even look away from you. He held your gaze, casually conversing with the person in front of him, eyeing you until he finally cracked a small smirk before turning back to his companion.

Your eyebrows practically shot up to the sky.

“See, weird or hot? Am I even allowed to say hot?” Hana blurted as she reveled in your reaction. “And you really thought I was joking. You don’t believe anything I say, I could tell you the world’s ending and you wouldn’t believe me. I could tell you aliens finally invaded the planet and you wouldn’t believe me until the green motherfuckers knocked on your door themselves and-”

“Hana, shut the fuck up.” You cut her off abruptly and made a face at her. “Why did you even come here?”

“Grumpy, aren’t we?” She flashed you a sarcastic look before sighing. “Your dad wanted me to find you. You and Taehyung have to meet someone important, so you should stop drinking like an alcoholic, dumbass.” Hana informed hastily as she grabbed the shot glass from you and downed it herself.

“Your dad’s by the entrance, go before he gets mad!” She shooed you away, pushing you up until you whisper-yelled and smacked at her to let you go. 

You began stepping towards the entrance, smoothing over your dress and this was the moment you realized you may have drank a little too much. You were quick to reprimand yourself, cursing your unprofessional behavior as your inner equilibrium became slightly woozy, senses drowning out a bit, every sound hazed over with a buzz in your veins.

You sucked in a breath to pull yourself together, knowing your dad valued this person enough you and Taehyung had to meet them together. 

Taehyung.

You decided to glance in his direction, lips pursing seeing he wasn’t in his previous spot. You chose to ignore it, walking along until you felt a looming presence behind you, almost having time to acknowledge it before a hand suddenly touched the small of your back. 

“Looking for me?”

You nearly squealed, jumping with a hand ready to punish before calming down at the sight of Taehyung, sighing with relief. “Jheez, could you use my name? I thought you were a stranger.” 

“Well, hello to you too.” Taehyung quipped sarcastically. “And why would a stranger touch your back? Of course it’d be the only man in this room marrying you.” Taehyung narrowly eyed you, scrutinizing your reaction with his hand still pressed to you.

“People do a lot of whatever the hell they want, Taehyung.” You responded turning away from him, heels clacking as you continued to pace towards where your father stood. “W-why’d you do that, anyway?” 

Taehyung furrowed his eyebrows. “Because we’re engaged?”

“It’s not real, though.”

“It’s as real as it gets.” Taehyung finalized, making it a statement to smile at everyone you passed, to which you realized just how many pairs of eyes glued themselves to you. “This may not feel like a real marriage to us, but to the rest of the world it is.” 

He then suddenly leaned himself down to your height and lowered his tone, breath just ghosting your ear. “Y/N, we have to make this seem real, it’s the only way we’ll survive.” Taehyung was the closest he’s ever been to you, and the deep baritone of his voice as he called your name did absolutely nothing but manifest butterflies in your chest. 

Why was his voice so deep?

You shook the thought out of your head, ultimately choosing not to say anything because he was in fact, correct. You grinned widely continuing to mask the truth of your arrangements, leaning into him more as you settled for his hand on your back.

You’d noticed it before, but his hand felt particularly large against you now that he was so close. You glanced at his other hand resting by his side, impressed by how masculine they appeared; long fingers with running veins and a roughness to them, sculpted so well you were sure they deserved to be referred to as art. It tickled your giddy side for a second when they seemed to perfectly contrast your more feminine and smaller hands. 

It was kinda cute. 

You neglected your thoughts once you neared your father, warm-heartedly conversing with a well-dressed man you just about recognized. 

“Ah, there you both are!” Your father cheered, reaching out his arm so he could envelop you in a side-hug, returning Taehyung’s bow and addressment.  

“Dad, I heard you wanted us to meet someone?” You perked up in a superficial tone, at least attempting to act as though everything was fine and dandy in your life; maybe owing it to the alcohol to endure all the falsehoods.

“Yes, Y/N-ie, I wanted you to meet Mr. Won. Chang-in, my lovely daughter and whom I guess you already know, her fiancé and CEO of Kim Enterprises, Kim Taehyung.” Your father proudly presented you both.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Won, Kim Taehyung.” Taehyung was the first to address the man, extending his hand and bowing as he greeted him. You were almost taken aback by how polite he could be, the way his charming smile graced his features and attractively displayed his perfect teeth. His manner of speech and etiquette were all refined with a high degree of professionalism as well, internally gawking at his duality.  

Wasn’t he acting all entitled with you just now? 

“Nice to meet you as well!” You collected yourself and cheered, a little baffled as to why Taehyung still rested his hand against your back. “I’m hoping my father has only said good things.” You earned a laugh from the group, Mr. Won responding by receiving your hand with a firm shake. 

“Ah, Namhyun, you forgot to mention how beautiful your daughter has grown, and your future son-in-law has me jealous! What a handsome and accomplished young man, the perfect match, the two of them.” Mr. Won praised you both kindly.

You and Taehyung both smiled and thanked him humbly, feeling some heat collect in your cheeks upon Mr. Won’s words. You two? The perfect match? Unless he believes a rock and a Greek statue belong together, then he’s absolutely correct. 

Other than that, you chest swarms with butterflies thinking you’re now referred to as ‘two’. 

Taehyung for some odd reason encircles the curve of your waist suddenly, pulling you closer to him. You last minute sputter at the intimate action before leaning into him, one arm nervously encasing his torso as the other rests against his chest. 

You feel him tense underneath you. 

“Aish, you’re such a flatterer. Y/N-ie, do you remember Mr. Won? My friend from university? You haven’t seen him in a while.” Your father rested a hand on your shoulder, trying to jog your memory. 

“Oh, you mean Mr. Won from SNU?” You suddenly remembered, looking to your father for confirmation. 

“Yes, so you do remember!” 

“Of course I do, how could I forget!” You smiled brightly and returned your gaze to the familiar man. “Mr. Won used to sneak me ice cream when you wouldn’t let me have any, Dad.” You scolded him with a playful jab to his arm, inviting more laughter. “I apologize for not recognizing you right away, it’s been a long time, Mr. Won, forgive me.” You solemnly apologized, Mr. Won giving you a look of understanding. 

“Ah, forget it, Y/N. Don’t worry about it, although since it’s been a long time I hope you remember my son? He should be here somewhere..” Mr. Won trailed as his eyes fished over the grand hall, scanning around. 

“Your son..” You repeated to yourself, realizing there was a familiar connection itching at your mind, he was your age actually-

Wait. 

Oh God, not him. 

Anything but him. 

You felt raw panic seep into the spaces between your ribs, your chest filling with a constricting feeling of anxiety you couldn't shake off. Your heart picked up speed and the alcohol coursing through your veins didn’t help your judgement or memory at all, mind fogged over with the poison we dare call alcohol.  

You felt stupid, so utterly stupid. How could you forget Mr. Won and who his Godforsaken son was? 

You felt an anxiety attack riddling you, shifting your weight on your feet as you tried to bite back your uneven breathing. You just couldn’t see this man, especially in a situation where you were standing next to your husband-to-be. 

Taehyung wasn’t so invested in the conversation before him, mindlessly nodding along before he felt you physically freeze next to him, his glance to the side confirming your pale look, watching as your panicked eyes faltered to the floor and revealed... fear? 

He registered your odd shifting and your failed attempts at plastering a smile, confused if you knew this guy and if you did, why were you freaking out so much?

Were you in love with him or something? 

The thought minutely bugged him until he watched you turn straight up uncomfortable, horrified when Mr. Won called out his son’s name. 

“Kiseok-ah! Come here!” 

You stopped breathing when you heard the name, eyes going wide as you avoided eye contact with anyone in the group, but caught Taehyung’s undivided attention. He grew curious when Kiseok sauntered over to the group, your hand on his chest suddenly squeezing his suit as the mysterious man greeted everyone respectfully.

Taehyung watched as his intrigued eyes locked on you, eyebrows perking up amusedly as his lips curved into a smile Taehyung honestly couldn’t admit to liking. 

“Y/N? Wow, long time no see. It’s been what, a year?” The man Kiseok called out happily, like there was absolutely no problem occurring here but as Taehyung felt your hand clutch onto his suit, lips just about quivering before you forced a smile, he knew there was most certainly a problem. 

“Yeah.” Your voice was weak, small, and Taehyung found himself wondering how a courageous person like you was all of a sudden cowering. 

He’d heard it all night, all the accounts of your other life away from the business world. He wasn’t going to lie, he heard a multitude of opinions concerning you, many of which including either looking down on you or telling Taehyung there’s many other, more powerful women in business he could’ve been marrying instead. 

But Taehyung didn’t care for their opinions, he found you the most powerful woman he could ever marry, and agreed to do so because of that very prospect. Sure, you were estranged from the business scene and practically abandoned any role you’d play in your father’s company in order to pursue your own personal aspirations, but if anything, Taehyung found it highly commendable. 

Taehyung knew it took guts to do what you did, a bold and daring act that no other heir or future heir of a wealthy company could ever think of doing, including himself. 

What he found to appreciate most was your unwillingness to give in, where you had to have heard all the back-handed and snobby comments, yet you still held your head up high, remained rooted and adamant in keeping your current way of life. It instantly signaled to him you were courageous, fearless, unable to be stopped in your tracks.

So when he watched you become smaller and smaller the more you stood in the vicinity of this Kiseok, he knew something was sincerely wrong. 

“Ah yes, it’s been quite some time. Why don’t we step away from you three? You could do some catching up.” Your father urged as he motioned Mr. Won to step away with him. You lightly addressed them only to have your hands neglect Taehyung entirely and start fidgeting, attempting to calm your nerves as the alcohol inebriated your system and magnified your anxiety by tenfold. 

“Ah, yes, Kim Taehyung, CEO of Kim Enterprises. I’ve been meaning to meet you.” Kiseok extended his hand as his voice irked you with every syllable, trying your best to seem like absolutely nothing was wrong. 

Taehyung reached out his hand in response uneagerly, giving a small shake while wondering why you let him go. “That’s news to me, nice to meet you.” Taehyung responded, already feeling an intense aura of discomfort and tension between you both, sensing he was missing out on something that seemed 6 ft deep. 

“Likewise. Y/N..” Kiseok suddenly turned towards you, making you wince. You painted on your smile as you lifted your vision. “Kiseok.” 

“How’ve you been?” 

“Better than ever. You?” 

“Marvelous, just wondering what your life’s looked like since I haven’t been in it.”

“I believe I said better than ever, didn’t I?”

Kiseok scoffed unamused, “So a year, huh? In all that time you suddenly found yourself a fiancé, and Kim Taehyung at that?” Kiseok seemed to be making light-hearted conversation to anyone outside of your group, though you knew deep down the hostility behind his words.

“Yeah, I did. It just happened.” You shrugged, gaining the confidence to counter him. “And you? Plan on putting a ring on any of your girls? Maybe the 5th or 7th one you liked?” You sarcastically questioned, furrowing your brows in mock contemplation. 

“No, you know I’ve always had my eye on one girl when it came to marriage.” Kiseok eyed you knowingly, purposefully, like he was trying to make it obvious.

You snorted and glared at him, “If I remember correctly, your attitude said otherwise.” hatred began boiling under your skin. You felt yourself growing angrier by the second, memories between you two coming back in flashes. You didn’t even realize you were shaking until Taehyung’s hand suddenly entangled with yours, pulling you towards him almost defensively. 

You were surprised, looking at your connected hands and back up at Taehyung. He returned your look, peering down at you as he smiled warmly, affectionately. 

“I’m sorry, Kisook? Was it? My future wife and I have plans for tonight. May you excuse us?” Taehyung didn’t even let Kiseok respond before he was pulling you away, in complete shock at his first lack of manners you’d ever seen. You were only left to watch Taehyung as he lead you along, gaining the timely opportunity to realize he was taller than Kiseok, and in fact significantly taller than you. 

Taehyung was a large man in general, you noticed. His shoulders looked broad from behind, accentuated by the fit of his suit which also emphasized the expanse of his chest, tastefully exposing his sculpted neck. His legs were long, proportioned perfectly in accordance with the rest of his model-like figure, which was ideally fit and contained just the right amount of muscle. 

Dear God, you took your time with this one. 

You didn’t even realize Taehyung had pulled you into a secluded hallway or that you were ogling him when he suddenly stopped, turning in your direction and snapping you out of a near fever dream. 

Yeah, alcohol was not a good idea tonight. 

“Who the fuck was that?” 

“What?”

“That douche, who was that?” Taehyung inquired slightly pissed, in need of the asshole’s identity after watching whatever shitshow he didn’t pay for. 

“Nobody, Taehyung, he shouldn’t concern you.” You looked away from him, pouting in a way that made Taehyung momentarily notice the plush of your lips. 

Again?, was all he could think, first, your mother, and now this guy? Just how many people did you have bad connections with and he needed to ignore? 

Why were there so many intricate pieces to you? 

“Are you kidding me? He concerns me now, your mother I can understand but this guy? Nothing to me. I could step on him.” Taehyung proclaimed confidently and stood up broader, conviction written all over his face.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his remark, resembling the thought you had earlier. “I was just thinking, you’re a lot taller than him.” 

Taehyung couldn’t help but bite back a smile, watching you giggle like a shy high schooler and his ears gladly welcomed the soft sound. “Damn straight I am.” He adjusted the jacket of his suit suavely. It was then he remembered what his other hand was doing; still holding yours. 

His eyes suddenly gleamed with mischief. 

He squeezed your hand a little tighter and yanked you towards him, bodies just centimeters apart as you crashed into him, all up in each other’s personal space.

Your eyes widened in complete surprise. 

 “So you were thinking about me, huh?” Taehyung teased with a stupidly lowered tone, a smug grin decorating his face. 

You ignored the electricity shooting through you, rolling your eyes and playfully sneering at him. “Shut up, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see you’re taller.” You forced space between you two and tried snatching your hand from him, but his grip transformed into an iron lock. 

“Says the one who was thinking about me.” 

“Taehyung, shut-” You almost huffed out but as soon as you stepped away, your copious consumption of alcohol suddenly attacked you all at once, vertigo making you lose your balance until Taehyung reached out to steady you. 

“Jheez, did you have to drink tonight?” Taehyung chastised you as you fell into him, head spinning with disorientation and growing flimsier by the second. “You’re probably a lightweight at your size.”

“I am not a lightweight. You don’t even know how much I drank, it was a lot.” You bit back in rebuttal, hooking onto his taut forearms as he supported you. 

“But I did see.” He voiced barely above a whisper, causing you to snap your vision up at him incredulously. “What?” 

“Nothing, it shouldn’t concern you.” Taehyung mocked, though still tried to fix you onto your own footing.  

You didn’t even get to scrutinize him further when you felt another round of dizziness plague you, balance faltering again. Taehyung huffed out and finally flanked you on his side, arm encasing your shoulders as he adjusted you. “Okay Miss I’m-Not-A-Lightweight, you should eat something.” He fit you beside him, beginning to walk you towards the main hall. 

Taehyung in this moment didn’t understand what he was doing, utterly clueless as to what was fueling his actions. He was uncertain why he found himself.. caring? He didn’t even know you, yet he couldn’t help but become a little concerned when he watched you down drinks like it was New Year’s Eve. 

How can all that alcohol fit into one tiny person?

What was he even thinking when he dragged you away from that Kisuk guy? Why did he feel like protecting you all of a sudden? A near sense of possessiveness? He wasn’t even your real husband. 

It started giving Taehyung a headache. This was all strange, a foreign concept he wasn’t familiar with and he didn’t know if it was the result of his considerate personality or only manifested solely because of you.

The same way Taehyung dealt with his inner turmoil, you dealt with yours; you were always so adamant on independence though ironically found yourself leaning on Taehyung.

Oddly, you let him carefully guide you back into the hall with no protests. 

It was the day of the wedding. 

You wish you could recall your emotions throughout the day, certain there would be at least a sliver of a positive one. Though as you remained unmoving, nearly catatonic, unresponsive to your surroundings, you knew there wouldn’t be a single happy memory in the tsunami of sorrow that attacked you today. 

Emotions of grief plagued consistently as you realized the loss of everything you valued most in your life. Your happiness, your freedom, your ability to choose. The stripping of all those bundled into an stifling wad in your chest that left you in a perpetual state of wanting to cry.

The sting in your heart when you realized your mother didn’t bother to come, the excruciating smile you forced onto your features when Taehyung’s mother delicately placed the veil atop your head, the secret tears you shed after adorning your body with a wedding dress you didn’t even choose; it all left you internalizing feelings of utter agony. 

And none of it was your real choice. 

Even the flowers at the wedding weren’t your favourite. 

This day was horrifying. You couldn’t believe you prided yourself on your independence, refusing to give in despite numerous challenges and never taking a word of what anyone said to you. Even when someone begged you to change or come back to your old life, you always chose for yourself. You never allowed someone to push you around, seldom coerced into anything solely based on the wishes of another. 

Yet here you were, standing just before the grand doors of a wedding you never asked for, having easily followed every word of your father’s and sacrificed your deepest principles in order to make him happy, to appease and live up to his expectations that weren’t your own. 

It was utterly frightening, appalling. As if you had lost the one true commendable feature of the intricate character you were, suddenly lost the acclamation of others even if they didn’t know the true nature of your marriage. 

But what disgusted you the most was truly, that you had lost respect for yourself. 

These grim thoughts were the ones that attached themselves to you as you hesitantly hooked your arm with your father’s. You used every ounce of strength to not flee, to remain here, to still walk down that isle with your head held high like you always have despite abandoning every foundation of the character you’d spent years working on.  

You didn’t care that your eyes watered, masking them with the facade of happy tears from the blushing bride. You didn’t care when your father looked incredibly concerned and wondered what was so wrong, you didn’t care how sorrowful you may have appeared to anyone at this ironically glamorous event. 

Though what you did care for was that you couldn’t hold your head up as you walked down the isle, vision fixated on the ground as your tears betrayed you, spilling out at the traumatizing feeling of not being able to stand tall like you always did, something stripping you of your self-reassurance, your strength, your confidence.  

It all spelled the requiem of your soul as you reached the end, dwelling in the impossibility this was happening to you until you felt the touch of Taehyung’s fingertips, guiding you up the stairs. It was then confirmed to you this was in fact real, part of your new reality you had no choice but to accept. 

You suddenly felt eternal gratitude for the veil that now covered your face, hiding the tears you cried at mourning the loss of everything you worked for.

While the priest’s words were read, you didn’t exchange a single look with Taehyung, knowing you’d only want to evaporate into the air, to run away at light speed or have someone in a turn-of-events suddenly take your life, just so you didn't have to face the humility of giving up the life you’d spent blood, sweat and tears building if you looked him in the eye. 

You felt the weight of your unknown future crushing you, pushing you towards the precipice as you gripped Taehyung’s hands harder to ground yourself. 

You were to rely on Taehyung, to share a bond with him you had never spent time cultivating, expected to live a life next to him while never being able to truly understand him, know him, love him. The natural process of falling in love now tainted with the coercion of a pressurized marriage, losing the opportunity to achieve any true sense of love. You’d never experience finding the one anymore, your soulmate, the other end of your red string of fate. 

That realization made your tears spill harder, disconnecting your hand from Taehyung’s to prevent your choked sobs becoming audible, holding your palm against your quivering lips. 

To anyone beyond you and Taehyung, it would look as though you were crying tears of happiness, joyously weeping at your matrimony with the love of your life, though as Taehyung felt the shaking of your hands, your refusal to meet his gaze as you reluctantly walked down the isle, the agonizing pain he could see through the sheer of your veil, he knew you were far from happy. 

He couldn’t help but purse his lips together tightly, knowing you were probably swallowing insurmountable torment down your throat because of this marriage, and tears pricked at his own eyes finding himself able to relate. 

He wasn’t just upset for you or himself, it was the entire situation, quite frankly the fucking world. The fact that the universe planned this as your destiny, his destiny, that the happiness of your parents and two companies came at the expense of both yours and his.

He knew you didn’t hate him, that he wasn’t the reason just as much as you weren’t the reason either, it was the arbitrary nature of the arrangement. That whatever version of true love and happily ever after you and Taehyung had separately dreamed of, it could never come to life. 

Even if the company meant everything to Taehyung, his CEO position more important than whatever position he’d play as some husband, seldom having time to consider love and relationships, he still harboured the same wants and desires any human would. A partner, a companion he truly loved with whom he’d start a family eventually, create a life for them and himself defined by love and comfort.

Though Taehyung only knew now you would both die with your decision-making capabilities robbed of you, bound to each other forcibly without the ardor of real love. 

Taehyung’s every thought was proven correct when the two of you exchanged your vows in near strangled chokes and shaky tones, appearing as happy emotions to the guests of the wedding though only you two knowledgeable of each other’s suffering. 

Your vision finally met Taehyung’s once you heard the rawness in his voice, your miserable emotions doubling when you registered he was just in the same pain as you. It was in that moment the priest’s words became audible and rang loud in both your ears, suddenly grounding you two to earth and reminding you of your reality. 

“You may kiss the bride.”

Both of your eyes grievously locked for a moment of horrified realization; that you were seconds away from going through with this, throwing each other’s lives away for the utilitarian benefit, abandoning any sense of choice in whom you both would spend a lifetime with.

Taehyung swallowed thickly as he removed your veil, feeling his eyes fill with tears again when he laid them upon your utterly devastated, tear-stained face. You were using every nerve in your body to stop yourself from sobbing and caving into the ominous thought of fleeing the ceremony.  

Taehyung’s sight wondered to your lips as they still quivered, nearly swollen red at the intensity in which you bit them, awaiting the kiss you were certain would be filled with frustration and hatred, hatred for the mud you were dragging him through, hatred for pressuring him into suddenly valuing something more than his work and his company, to suddenly become a husband to you. 

Though as he watched the terror flashing through your eyes, tears watering your lash line, he knew he could never feel anything so ardently negative towards you, remembering exactly what he was stripping you of. 

The life you built on your own, defying any and everyone’s expectations of yourself, cursing your heir status to hell, your strength, your independence. Now? Your life was bound to his, bound to one where you were obliged to sacrifice yourself for your father’s company and the upper class cesspool you’d spent so long trying to run away from. 

So as Taehyung began closing the gap between you two, nearing your shaking figure, he resolved he wouldn’t make this hard. He would try, try to accept that his life now entailed you, would try to work towards the balance his father insisted he needed, try to understand that you were now part of his priorities and could never simply ignore you.  

He glided his thumbs against the back of your hands that held his pacifyingly, leaning down until he was just inches from your lips as you squeezed your eyes shut. He unexpectedly spoke quietly, meaningfully, seconds away from sealing the deal of an uncertain future, though, remained certain of this one thing. 

“I’ll take care of you, Y/N, I promise.” And he kissed you in a single breath, no haste, no pressure, only the gentle touch of his lips as they met yours, soft and light. 

Maybe Taehyung didn’t know the exact feelings behind his promise, but he knew the meaning; that no matter the arrangement, the non-existent feelings, the loss of choice, he would at least take care of you like any husband would, a good husband.  

He at least owed you that.  

You were left shocked at the nature of his kiss, Taehyung’s warm lips connecting with yours tenderly. You were convinced the tears you saw in his eyes were enough to assert he hated this, frustrated he had to sell his soul, wishing to only rush the kiss so he could call it a day and ignore you for the rest of his life. 

Though what you never expected was the promise he made, or the way he kissed you with such intimacy you found yourself melting into his touch, reciprocating. He kissed you like you were fragile, locking your lips in a way that solidified his promise, as if out of all the empty vows you spoke today, this was the one, true vow he would keep. His lips felt plush against yours, catching his mouth just a little more before the bittersweet disconnection. 

You and Taehyung exchanged a poignant look, small smiles decorating both your faces with a mutual understanding swimming in your eyes as you gripped each other’s hands. You let his promise permeate the air between you two, finding solace in his words as the applause of everyone attending the ceremony filled the hall.   

Maybe it was the warm way Taehyung always pressed his hand to the small of your back when you spoke to others the whole night, maybe the way he veered you away from excessive amounts of alcohol with a light-hearted scolding considering that last time you drank, or maybe even the way he gently held you during your first dance..

Maybe it was all these considerate, kinds act that made you view Taehyung in a less negative light and rather a favourable one, that maybe he wouldn’t be the asshole CEO you’d first accused him of being.  

You would also be an idiot to not mention how completely and utterly handsome he was, looks carved by the Greeks themselves, quite possibly the hottest, most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. 

And maybe all that accumulated into your assured opinion that when it came to consummating your marriage with Taehyung, you’d have no qualms or worries whatsoever. You would be absolutely willing, ready to take the night on and maybe even have some fun for yourself with whom you could tell was a really, really nice guy.

Though as Taehyung walked calmly in front of you towards your hotel suite, reaching into his suit pocket for the card key he’d retrieved at the front desk to swipe against the lock, your chest clogged with a crushing feeling of anxiety you couldn’t subdue. 

These weren’t the same nerves of maybe being not pretty enough, body insecurities or fear of what to expect from Taehyung, no, these nerves came from the utter panic of having to experience sex with another man.

Especially since your last partner. 

It always started with your permission, that wasn’t the issue, Though what left you afraid, so utterly frightened with the thought of spending a night with a man like this came from the treatment you received from that partner. 

Safe to say, you weren’t treated kindly. Far from that, actually, you were treated as though you had no needs or were a means of simple use. Your last partner was the opposite of giving, he was selfish, self-absorbed and only concerned himself with his own pleasure, going on and on only until he was satisfied and neglected you in every sense of the word, sometimes even refusing to listen to you if you protested. 

To make matters worse, he wasn’t faithful. 

You knew he slept around, a lot, it was the number one reason you never agreed to actually date him, never make things official. 

But the reason you would end up sleeping with him was because of the most perfectly imperfect concept among the human race; love. You believed every time with him was a new chance to make that love real, that it was the genuine manifestation of your feelings for one another, thinking maybe he wasn’t the asshole he always portrayed himself as and could man up enough to love you unconditionally. 

And he completely reeled you in, made you fall in love too quickly and made you believe he was capable of love. This grew exponentially when you were often described as ‘the different one’, the one he always came back to, that you were special. You clung onto those words as much as you could, convinced each time you were in fact the one for him, that maybe one day, he’d wake up and abandon his fuckboy lifestyle and mature.

But everyday that went by, every promise that was never fulfilled, every word that wasn’t met with an action, and especially after every hook up that resulted in nothing new, you began to understand you were everyone’s favourite role in a Shakespearean play. 

The fool. 

You were a joke to believe anything he said, the most naive person on earth to think you were any different from the others, when every night simply ended in rough fucks, virtually no orgasm and miniscule aftercare.

It left you essentially scarred, traumatized that every man in the world was built like this. It didn’t help that whenever you look back, many of your ex partners were of the same cut, the same trope of assholes that don’t seem as bad but end up being exactly so. 

It was what made you swallow thickly as Taehyung opened the door to the suite, holding it open as he moved aside to let you enter first. You walked forward and unintentionally brushed against him, realizing how much smaller you were in comparison to him all over again. 

He towered over you, and it made you more nervous. 

You looked up at him momentarily and quietly thanked him as you stepped inside, setting your sights on the large, king sized bed situated on one side of the room, a lounging area with couches to the other side which lead to a bathroom. Seoul’s breathtaking skyline was visible in the dark of the night through wall-to-ceiling windows opposite to you, covered by flowy, sheer curtains. 

You took a deep breath, trying to remind yourself Taehyung was not the same. Not all men are the same, you can’t inflict the mistakes and wrongdoings of one man onto another, categorize them into one kind. You wanted to think this way, and you knew it was the humane way to think. 

But as the memories of those heart-aching nights filled your head, the empty words, the lack of care or concern, the neglect, the feelings of pure abandonment and use only caused your heart to beat profusely in your chest, clutching onto the neckline of your dress to breathe. 

What if Taehyung really was no different?

It then suddenly hit you you didn’t know him. All you knew of Taehyung was that he was a fiercely successful business man, sitting atop Seoul’s most prestigious with Godly looks and a stare that could kill a man. You remembered your initial feelings about him; his stare in fact intimidated you, quite frankly all of him intimidated you, he was the epitome of perfection and you were far from that very notion. It left you thinking you didn’t measure up, and that he could view you in a dissimilar light than you viewed him; an unfavorable one. 

He could simply not want you, but is forced to.  

You’d observed his kind behavior and actions over the odd two days you met him, though that was exactly the inculpatory factor; you had only met him twice. You didn’t know what he would be like alone, when it was just the two of you, when there weren’t eyes scrutinizing him and cameras snapping shots of his every move. 

You didn’t know how he would be like in the bedroom, either. 

Your mind raced as you conflicted with yourself, trying to understand that Taehyung could be different, though apprehensive with the miniscule knowledge you actually had of him. 

You discerned after that last asshole of a partner you needed the love and care of a real partner, someone who would tend to your needs, adore you in the midst of their actions, be a giver and not just a receiver.  

And you didn’t know if Taehyung would be that partner. 

“Y/N...” Taehyung called out to you rather softly as he removed his suit jacket, the rustling of the cloth signaling he had indeed done so. His footsteps were hard to miss, the soles of his shoes sounding against the hardwood floor as he neared your lonesome figure standing in the middle of the room. 

Your breathing quickened with nearly every step he took, attempting to resolve the civil war you were battling within. You were trying to convince yourself Taehyung would be a nice man, a nice husband; though couldn’t help but feel deflated by the fact it was all mainly coerced out of him.

Your thoughts overwhelmed you as Taehyung finally stood behind you, mere inches from your back as he watched you from behind, unbeknownst of any feelings or thoughts currently riddling you.

He hesitated, though gently placed his hand against your bare arm, the sudden warmth of his hand against your skin causing you to flinch. He peered down at your smaller self squarely focusing in front of you, anticipating your response. He grew slightly soft when you tentatively looked over your shoulders, clearly teary-eyed. 

Taehyung couldn’t miss how scared you seemed, and he his heart inexplicably stung at the thought you were afraid of him. 

“We don’t have to do this.” Taehyung’s voice was low and resembled warm honey, reverberating in a way that made you ease up. 

You worked towards a stable voice. “W-we don’t?” 

“No, we don’t” His voice held no disappointment, only the intention of seemingly wanting to assure you, firm and oddly comforting. 

“I’m sorry, Taehyung. I’m really sorry.” It was hard to keep your tone leveled, clutching your hand over your mouth as you swallowed your emotions. 

“Don’t be sorry, there’s nothing for you to apologize for.” 

You strangely felt the desire to hold his hand that rested against you, though you ignored the urge and simply stepped out of his touch, clutching your chest tightly in an effort to cower away from him. But it was here you suddenly remembered that he kissed you, and the way he did so. 

It made your cheeks fill with a rosy blush. 

“Do you mean that?” You’d finally turned to meet his eyes, his face only visible by the moonlight illuminating the room. He seemed to have retracted his hand and stood with both tucked in his pockets, relaxed. 

This became the first time you noticed just how ravishing he looked tonight. 

His dark hair was slicked back loosely and left enough pieces to fall as a comma, graciously exposing his forehead, his Tom Ford suit attractively hugged his model-like body, watch and accessories accentuating his expensive look. 

His features were casted over by soft lighting, somehow adding to his beauty as the glow made him appear... less intimidating, dare you say warm or inviting. 

His expression was funnily enough, one that you could actually read. He held no contempt, no impatience or anger, only a hint of consideration as his calm eyes looked at you. His face may have been predominantly blank, void of a smile, though certainty held a form of reassurance.  

“Of course I do, why would I do anything with an unwilling person?”

You scoffed lightly, “Not a lot of people would say that.” Your eyes faltered from Taehyung’s and clutched yourself tighter, expression completely telling of trauma.

Taehyung instantly picked up on it, eyebrows slightly furrowing at your words though softening once registering their weight. He felt an overwhelming sense of apology take him, thinking of his next sentence before his mind oddly flashed back to the night of the engagement party.

“Y/N, did Kiseok..?” Taehyung trailed hesitantly. 

You winced at his line of thinking, “No, no...not what you’re thinking,” you immediately denied. “Just, shitty experiences.”

“Shitty, as in...?”

“As in only seeking self-satisfaction, neglect, lies, infidelity. Can we go to sleep?” You deflected with a heavy sigh and a hand at your temple, the day’s events catching up to you.

Taehyung nodded in agreement, “Yeah, sleep. We both need that.” His eyes then landed on the bed, registering even if it were large enough you two could sleep apart, he still opted for caution. 

“Um.. you can take the bed, by the way. I’ll sleep on the couch-”

“No, don’t do that.” You replied quickly. “I can’t sleep on a king-sized bed all by myself, it’s huge.” You side-eyed the massive mattress and laughed a little, lightening the heavy aura casted over the room. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Don’t worry, Taehyung. You don’t make me feel uncomfortable.” You smiled at him lightly and received a small one from him, both your eyes mirroring the same sense of understanding you exchanged at the altar. 

“I’ll let you wash up first, your overnight bag should be in the bathroom closet.” Taehyung informed, pointing towards the direction of your things. 

“Thank you.” You voiced with an amount of warmth that made Taehyung want to genuinely smile, though crushed the weird urge and nodded agreeably instead.

You began walking away from him until a nuisance suddenly occurred to you, cursing yourself as you came to a full stop. “Um, Taehyung.. I forgot but could you..?” You angled your back towards him to call out to the ribbons tying the back of your dress, knowing you would’ve taken 20 years just to untie your bodice yourself. 

The fact that you weren’t looking directly at Taehyung made him feel relieved, glad he wouldn’t embarrass himself with the his eyes slightly widened. He was quick to reprimand himself, it’s just a woman’s dress, why the hell are you shocked? 

Taehyung swallowed dryly before replying, “Uh, yeah I’ll--I’ll do that.” He walked towards you sparingly and positioned himself behind you.

He’d noticed it before, but you were relatively small compared to him in size and it continued to poke at his brain, maybe even momentarily think it was cute. 

Cute? When have I ever found a girl cute?

Taehyung exhaled before his hands carefully made for the silk ribbons, his tentative fingers fiddling with the ties until he eventually began loosening each one. He started unlooping your bodice, breathing out considerably when each loop began exposing your back inch by inch.  

Taehyung’s sweet, hot breath fanned your skin, tensing each time as your every nerve went haywire feeling just how close he was. His slender fingers brushed against your bare skin here and there, making heat collect in your face.

You grew even hotter when your kiss with him suddenly crept back into your mind, unknowing of the reason why excitement and electricity shot throughout your body because of it. The way his soft, full lips met yours, mouthed at you tastefully repeated in your head, making you extremely nervous at how much a measly kiss from him was occupying your mind; it was just a kiss. 

Taehyung found himself tensing by the intimacy of the moment, remembering the way he so boldly kissed you. He found that he liked the plush of your lips, the way he had to bend down to your smaller height to lock lips; and it made him feel strange. 

How the hell was he taking interest in something other than his work? No, this isn’t interest, Taehyung thought, and would spend however long denying it. 

He’d finished the task throughout all his thinking, unrealizing of how proximal he was to you. He oddly hated that the moment was over, coming back down to Earth.

“There you go.” He cleared his voice and stepped away from you. 

You held your bodice up against your chest, realizing Taehyung had a full-access view of your back and you grew 10x hotter. You gulped at the thought before hastily turning around to thank him, quickly disappearing into the bathroom for a moment of reprieve. 

You shut the door and instantly breathed out a breath you didn’t remember holding, looking at your hot mess of a face in the mirror trying to cool down, reliving the last 10 minutes of what just happened. 

You took a deep breath. 

Maybe Taehyung is different after all. 

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[spectral-kitkat]

Miraculous Rant.

Where the hell do I begin…

Season 1:

The show was decent in season 1. Some episodes were just mindless filler and probably weren’t needed in the grand scheme of things but they helped us get introduced to the characters, we got to know the plot and the world our characters inhabit. It was good. The love story between Adrien and Marinette was cute and off to a touching and fluffy start.

Season 2:

This season was immediately better than season 1. It had character development, it went more into detail about the lore surrounding the Miraculous and we got to learn more about our characters and their families and the villian’s motives. (HM really went from “I wanna destroy the world” to “I wanna wake my wife from the coma she’s in”).

We got to see new heroes which was fun! We got new characters like Luka and Kagami.

The season finale was epic! The Miraculous team all taking down all the previous villains in the show was awesome. At the end we even got Mari kissing Adrien on the cheek. It was great! (Even though it clearly reset itself in season 3 cause it’s never mentioned again)

I really enjoyed season 2 and it’s probably my favourite out of the 4.

Season 3:

Season 3 was kinda good and kinda bad. We had some great episodes but this is where the show took the wrong turn.

Marinette lost some of her character in season 3. This was the start of her descent into being the Queen of Mary Sues. It’s also where she was crowned the Queen of Stalkers! Her character took a fucking nose dive in this season. We had so many moments that just creeped me the fuck out.

1. The ENTIRETY of Puppeteer 2 🤢🤢🤢 I could not stand that episode. When we reached the dreaded statue scene I physically had to pause it like 10 times. That scene takes about 3 minutes to watch… it took me about 20. I cringed so fucking hard because of the secondhand embarrassment I was feeling. That was not sweet, it wasn’t romantic, it wasn’t the least bit cute… it was a train wreck! It was creepy and stalkerish and it’s a wonder Adrien even spoke to her again after that atrocity!

2. LB delivering the present in Chat Blanc. Two words: STALKER BEHAVIOUR!!! I genuinely could not believe my eyes when I saw LB run her hand across everything in his room and then actually SNIFF Adrien’s pillow. Like WTF!!! 🤮 I’m pretty sure whoever was responsible for that scene clearly thought it was the equivalent of when someone gets their S/O’s jumper or something and it still smells like them. But this turned it up to the nth degree and way passed the line of sanity.

Adrien was extremely under-utilised in this season. He didn’t really do anything. The only episodes we got about him didn’t really focus on him. ‘Felix’ whilst focusing on Adrien’s family didn’t really feature him. ‘Party Crasher’ while a beautiful mess was more about Mari trying to get into the party than the party itself. ‘Chat Blanc’ again focused more on Mari trying to fix her mistake.

We got even more heroes in season 3, not in the right order but they were there. It was fun seeing everyone’s transformations.

Season 3 was also the season of destroying redemptions. The big one obviously being Chloe. Season 2 was setting up this amazing redemption for her and before it could go anywhere it was wiped off the face of the earth during the finale (and don’t worry we’ll get to that dumpster fire later). Gabriel also had any remaining sympathy ripped away from him. How did the guy who stopped Gorizilla from letting Adrien die when he only thought he was CN go from that to using his son like fucking baseball in Chat Blanc when he knew his son was CN. Like I knew you were a shit father but you still cared about Adrien in some way shape or form but after that episode I can see I was clearly mistaken!

Before we get to the finale I want to talk about probably my 2 least favourite episodes from this season: Desperada and Reflekdoll

Desperada:

I fucking hated this episode! The only good thing was Luka getting to be Viperion, other than that this episode was awful!

Marinette was a selfish cringey bitch. Completely ignoring Luka to gush about Adrien to Jagged. Brushing Luka off as soon as Adrien turns up. Immediately cuddling up to Aspik and flirting with him when she needed to focus on the akuma (something which she has told CN not to do many times before)

Adrien, I love you kid but Jesus Christ you were a dumbass in this episode! Aspik’s design was terrible! Aspik himself was awful. I know Adrien tried his best but dude you were given the Black Cat miraculous for a reason! He shouldn’t have tried to be Aspik but even when he did he should’ve called it quits after like 5 resets not 25,913 times.

The only person with a brain this episode was Luka. So well done guitar boy, gold star!

Reflekdoll:

This episode was annoying! It was basically the start of the Marinette can do no wrong streak! When they have to swap miraculous I was happy cause it meant we got to see new outfits and see how they each handle the different powers. It would also serve as a way to get LB and CN to see what their partners role is first hand. Until we actually get to it…

LadyNoire is of course amazing and needs no introduction to using this new miraculous that she’s never used before. She’s cocky and confident and basically just LB in Chat’s costume with his powers.

Mister Bug on the other hand is just useless. He struggles with this new miraculous (like anyone would!) and is stupid and goofy. He has to rely on LadyNoire to solve the lucky charm. They swapped miraculous so shouldn’t that mean that Mister Bug should get the lucky vision and the creative powers that the earrings give him.

Overall Reflekdoll is awful. It was shitty writing and the start of Adrien getting the short end of the stick.

And now the season 3 finale… Just what the fuck. That is my only reaction: what the fuck!

Chloe you poor fucking child! What did they do to you!!! So much potential SQUANDERED!!!!

What was the point in bringing in all these different superheros with unique skill sets, costumes and transformations if you were just going to immediately reveal them to the main villian so they can’t be used again. That’s stupid! If you wanted the shock value that is “Oh no HM knows some of the heroes identities!” Then keep it as only some. Have like Max, Kim and Kagami outside trying to find somewhere to hide but unfortunately they get hit. Or Nino and Alya are hiding but the windows open and they get hit. Have some of the heroes hide so they’re fine! Taking away every ally of LB and CN’s was a stupid move! (Even if they wanted Alya to become a spy have her as part of the like 4 that get revealed or something, it’s not that difficult)

Season 3 was 50/50 for me

Season 4:

So I know season 4 isn’t even halfway through yet but so much is wrong with this season already that I need to vent!

So my biggest problem with this season of Miraculous: Tales of Ladybitch and Rena Rouge, I mean Rena Furtive… shit, Chat Noir! Is that CN is basically pointless! Adrien has been flung over a rainbow and is only remembered when he’s needed as

1. Marinette’s love interest

2. Someone for LB to shout at

3. A plot device

He has basically been sidelined. Partners my ASS!!!

Adrien is being blown off by pretty much EVERYONE! It’s coming to a point where this poor sweet summer child is going to crack! And it is not gonna be pretty… I definitely feel like the writers are leading up to a big fight between CN and LB which will probably end with Chat Blanc 2.0.

I REALLY HATE MARINETTE/LADYBUG!!!! In Season 3 I said it was the beginning of her descent, well in season 4 she’s done it. She’s descended, she has hit rock fucking bottom. She is so unlikable I don’t actually care about her as a person. She has entered full blown stalker territory it’s only a matter of time before she starts killing people for even looking at Adrien! Not to mention that Miss Mary Sue here can’t do anything wrong! She never has to suffer the consequences of her actions, she is always perfect no matter what she does… it pisses me off!)

She’s the Guardian now big whoop. I know what it feels like to be stressed and under pressure so I do understand why she needed to tell someone about it all. I just don’t see why that person had to Alya! Especially considering she has someone by her side every akuma attack going through pretty much the exact same thing. I know she’s worried about CB happening again but as I said before the more she leaves him out the more she is actually pushing that to become a possibility! Plus it makes sense for them to reveal their identities now since LB is now the guardian it’s probably a good idea to know who holds the cat miraculous, she knows everyone else’s identities!

Even if she didn’t want to tell CN her identity she could still explain the situation to him. If she didn’t want to tell him anything (which she doesn’t anyway) then instead of Alya she should’ve talked to Luka! Her boyfriend for all of half an episode (thanks writers��). He’s so sweet and caring and clearly loves her so much! If she wanted someone to confide in then why not choose the person you clearly wanted to date but couldn’t because of that very reason! (Yeah I know it’s kinda a moot point now since Luka knows both identities but still). He wanted to try and comfort her so it would’ve been the perfect moment for it. That way you could still date him and he’d know why you had to suddenly leave dates halfway through! But no break the boys heart instead!

Adrien and Marinette were both such fucking idiots in the first 2 episodes. Like why would you start a relationship with someone when you know your heart isn’t in it! That’s called leading someone on and is a really shitty thing to do to someone! No wonder Kagami and Luka ended up akumatized!

Another aspect of season 4 I don’t like is Rena Furtive. Yes ok having a spy for your side is a good strategy but when said spy basically tells an important member of a duo that the 2 person job doesn’t involve them… it just really ticks me off! Alya you are the sidekick to LB and CN! Chat isn’t!

Miraculous specials:

The Miraculous World specials suck! Shanghai is better than NY but still has its problems. Both specials add nothing to the overall plot/lore of the show apart from trying to set up some weird cinematic universe…

NY special:

One of the worst things I’ve ever had to sit through! The plane scene alone I paused a few times. I want to say well done to Mari for trying to move on from Adrien (especially considering I’m pretty sure she’s dating Luka at this point) but I can’t help but think it’s just to give her character some pointless development that goes nowhere and doesn’t actually develop anything!

LB can pretty much fuck off at this point! I hate her! She put all this shit on CN (like she doesn’t know exactly how that feels). It’s like why does she get to go off on holiday but CN can’t. LB should’ve stayed in Paris for 3 reasons:

1. She’s recently become the guardian meaning it would probably be best that she stayed with the Mircle Box

2. She’s the only one who can purity the akumas

3. If she’s so sure about being the boss then she should take responsibility of Paris and the citizens.

What really pisses me off about her is what she says to CN during the big fight. “I can’t trust you”… surely you could have this conversation afterwards since you’re supposed to be focusing on taking down the villian! Plus everyone bashes Adrien for giving his miraculous up in this episode but look at it from his point of view: His partner and best friend just said she couldn’t trust him which in turn caused him to cataclysm someone and essentially kill them. That’s gonna take a toll on anyone, especially a 14 year old! He probably thought in that moment. “Ladybug needs a partner she can trust and someone who won’t mess up and kill someone. She needs a better partner.” It makes sense he renounces his miraculous! I’m just upset that in doing so he loses Plagg who is pretty much his only friend who actually understands what Adrien goes through at home.

When Uncanny gets CN to come back, LB acts like it’s not her fault in the first place that he feels inadequate! She didn’t even apologise for saying what she did! He apologised for lying about not being in Paris but nope LB wasn’t in the wrong at all and didn’t have anything to apologise for 🙄… (yes the LadyNoir hug was amazing but I just wish it was under different circumstances!)

Also are we not gonna mention Gabriel Agreste almost starting WW3??? He wanted to launch a fucking missile!!!

Shanghai:

As I said before, this special is way better for several reasons.

We got MariChat! (Best side to the love square imo). This special actually had some semblance on a plot. Fei, whilst a bit op, was a cool character. It was nice to see Wang Cheng again.

However once again there were many problems.

A big one being Marinette yet again! (What a shock! 😒 I’ll come back to this). Another was that once again HM’s motivation has changed. How is getting the Prodigious gonna help bring back Emilie??

Back to Marinette… The fact that the words “Huh?! There must be some kind of mistake! I always know what's up with Adrien! … His 5 first names and every corresponding name date, his yearly schedule, even his shoe size! If there were anything to know about him, I would know it!” come out of her mouth whilst she is flipping through his schedule that she keeps in her pocketbook is a hugh red flag!!! That is not cute or adorable! That’s messed up and Adrien needs to fucking run and maybe possibly go into witness protection… Marinette is a full blown stalker! Not to mention the GPS she has (that could just be the find my friends app on iphone but still).

It also is extremely rude of her to use not only her great uncle’s birthday but also a lie about wanting to know her Chinese heritage in order to go to Shanghai to stalk her obsession, I mean crush. This could’ve been avoided if the Dupain-Chengs were going to Shanghai for the purpose of celebrating Wang Cheng’s bday and then Adrien just so happened to be in Shanghai.

Also this means LB left Paris without telling CN! I know CN did the same but again he can’t purify the akumas. Plus he has a reason he couldn’t stay in Paris, Mari just went cause her crush did. Great guardianship there Marinette.

This was also the last time CN actually did something. Even if it was for a short while before LB and her female partner took over (the beginning of a theme…)

Other things:

There are 2 other things that I wanna say but felt they needed a separate bit.

In Furious Fu, Su-Han has a rule book that he uses to tell Marinette which rules she has broken. At the end of the episode he tells her that is she breaks 1 more rule that he will take the Miraculous and the Miracle Box off her, which fair enough but wouldn’t it be helpful to leave the rule book with her?! How can she be wary of not breaking anymore rules when she doesn’t even know what the rules are??

Now the big one: Master Fu…

Where do I even start with him. He is so fucking manipulative!! He is Asian Dumbledore!

He decides to leave these extremely powerful jewels in the hands of 13 year olds! Surely leaving the miraculous to someone in their 20s would’ve been better!

He clearly favours LB over CN even though the Ladybug and Black Cat are supposed to be partners! Wouldn’t it make sense for them both to be in contact with the guardian from the start?? He randomly started introducing rules such as if LB and CN find out each other’s identities they would lose their miraculous… what kind of bullshit rule is that? It also came out of fucking nowhere!

Final Thoughts:

But to summarise all of that: Miraculous is on quite a steep decline but I’m invested at this point and I am genuinely curious as to where the fuck this will go.

Marinette needs professional fucking help before the writers even consider canonising Adrienette cause at the moment she is not what Adrien needs!

Adrien needs to stand up for himself! He needs to pull LB to the side and tell her what he feels and what he’s going through cause he is on the precipice of a breakdown!

(Small point that’s more to do with the fandom: when searching for fanfics it’s really annoying that Adrien Agreste/Chat Noir Bashing is a tag but Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Ladybug Bashing isn’t. Why does everyone think Marinette can do no wrong???)