#I really thought it would just die down but basically everyone in china who even knew who she was has turned on her

[liu-yu-xin]

Really fascinating that the group of ppl who have the most problem with lisa doing the burlesque show are chinese ppl (u would not believe how many video essays have been made about this from the moment it was announced to now the topic is literally inescapable everywhere u look and theyre acting like this single event is setting feminism back 50 years) BUT guess who were the ppl searching lisa 疯马秀 on twt for video footage and flooded the tag with porn bots. ALSO chinese ppl. The fucking irony of it all. Now i am aware these are probably not the same ppl and the pearl clutching group probably takes the most issue with the second group but this is YOUR fucking problem in YOUR society and youve decided to have this fight over the body of a woman who is a) not chinese b) not active in china c) not doing this performance in china like why do u even care??? And its gotten to the point where theres outrage about the two chinese actresses who went to fashion week and also went to lisa’s show saying they should be blacklisted and theyve ruined their career by associating with this like its just ridiculous

[beauty-and-passion]

Time to talk about the flower shirt

You read the title. Time to talk about this.

This is the infamous flower shirt Thomas put on in his store and, since the fandom is the fandom, everyone started to speculate about those flowers.

At first, I didn’t want to do it. They’re just flowers and other people already talked about them, so what could I possibly add to the conversation?

But while I was writing about Orange, I had to talk a moment about the orange flower. It was supposed to be a small parenthesis, just a couple of words about that.

But then I looked at the other flowers and what other people told/not told about them and how some didn’t find Patton’s flower... so here I am, adding my two cents to this theme.

You needed it? Probably not. Well, I’m writing it anyway.

So let’s take a closer look at those flowers and see each one in detail:

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Roman: Red rose

Should I really explain why it’s perfect for Roman? Red roses are the universal symbol of love. Basically in all cultures red roses symbolize passion, true love, romance and desire. Also, according to this website, even the shade has a meaning! In fact, the deeper the red shade is, the stronger is the passion.

And even the number of red roses has a meaning! In this case, we have only one single red rose and that "represents love at first sight, or if it’s coming from a long-term partner, they are saying “you are still the one”.”

You know what that made me think? About Thomas telling Roman “You’re my hero”. A perfect symbol that he was “still the one” for Thomas.

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Orange: Lantana camara

This is an incredibly peculiar flower.

Lantana Camara symbolizes severity and rigour. And this alone can be analyzed in all possible ways, but there are other interesting details about this plant I think it's worth mentioning.

Lantana is toxic for livestock, such as cattle, sheep, horses, dogs and goats. According to Wikipedia, previous studies suggested it could be toxic for humans too, especially the green unripe berries. However "other studies have found evidence which suggests that its fruit poses no risk to humans".

Lantana is a freaking invasive plant. In some areas, it's so predominant, to reduce biodiversity, because its presence "can significantly slow down the regeneration of forests, by preventing the growth of new trees". Also, as if this isn't enough, this plant can also produce toxic chemicals which inhibit other plant species.

Lantana has also a great adaptability, that helped it to be so invasive: it can live in a wide range of different environmental conditions, it can survive long periods without water, heck it's even resistant to fire. It's not a plant you can underestimate. Like Orange, I assume.

But Lantana isn't just an invasive plant. Lantana has always been used for medical purposes, because it showed good antimicrobial, fungicidal and insecticidal properties and its extract helps against respiratory infections and ulcers.

Also, since it doesn't have many pests or diseases, lantana became a common ornamental plant. It even attracts butterflies!

In other words: isn't that the perfect plant to symbolize the double nature of a dark side? It can be a threat, change the environment, destroy and even kill. But it can also be a medicine, something useful, something beautiful.

Whoever Orange is, Lantana camara tells us that, whithout a doubt, he’s a dark side.

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Janus: Sunflower

Do you think Janus isn't perfect enough as he is? Do you think there's not enough husband material in the snek?

Well, you’re wrong and the sunflower is here to prove it.

Sunflower symbolizes loyalty, adoration, longevity, vitality, worship. Now add this up to the sunflower’s behaviour and how it follows the sun... and you’ll get Janus. Janus literally acts like a sunflower: Thomas is his sun and everything Janus does is for him. His whole existence is centered around Thomas.

But we already knew that, because it's the same message that shone through his playlist.��Everything about Janus tells us how much he adores Thomas, from his canonical behavior in the series, to his playlist, to this flower.

Oh, do you need another proof that this is flower is perfect for Janus? Some societies use sunflowers as religious symbols. Ah, some good ol' reference to religion: it’s like being in his playlist all over again.

And, of course, sunflowers are used for a variety of reasons, like cooking oils, skin care and so on. Even the flower says self care.

This man is perfect.

__________________________________

Remus: Green chrysanthemum

Here's another interesting flower.

Chrysanthemum symbolizes death and it’s the typical flower used for funerals. And I thought this was its universal meaning. It was perfect for Remus just like that.

But then I found out that Europeans use chrysanthemums for funerals and to honor the dead. This flower actually has a whole lot of meanings, some completely different from this.

In China, for example, chrysanthemums are associated with wealth, prosperity and long life. Also they're symbols of new life and reincarnations, so they're the perfect gift for old people or newborns.

While in Japan chrysanthemums are symbols of power and royalty. And that's even more fitting for Remus, because he's a Duke, so he is royalty.

But chrysanthemum also symbolizes friendship - and not just "a friendship", but a meaningful one. It's a symbol of loyalty, devotion, romantic/platonic love and, in general, positive energy. It's a flower with an incredibly strong meaning, so it can't be given too lightly.

And this makes it even more perfect for Remus. It's a flower with a huge plurality of meanings, it's both associated with life and death, it's powerful and it's royalty.

Also, you can eat it. Isn't that the perfect Remus flower?

(On a side note: please notice how chrysanthemums and sunflowers are both associated with joy, loyalty and devotion. I would have never considered "joy" a common trait between Janus and Remus while loyalty and devotion... well, they both care about Thomas and his career and they both work for him despite not being accepted, so I can see why those are common traits.)

__________________________________

Patton: Nemophila

Surprise surprise, this flower wasn't easy to find. I’ve never heard of it, so I had to search among endless lists of blue flowers, hoping to find one that would perfectly match the one on the shirt.

And that’s how I found nemophila.

First of all: nemophila is also known as "Baby Blue Eyes" and it's an extremely rare color to find in nature. It’s very famous in Japan, thanks to the Hitachi Seaside Park. Open this link: it’s a literal sea of blue and it’s absolutely gorgeous. Of course, it attracts people every year.

Nemophila represents prosperity, congratulations on success and victory. Not the first things you would associate with Patton, right?

Well, while I was searching more informations about this flower, I found out this website about the essence of Baby Blue Eyes and the passage I quoted down below has the exact same words you can find on that link:

With its pronounced affinity for water, the Baby Blue Eyes flower essences addresses qualities of tender sensitivity, innocence and trust associated one’s early childhood relationship to the father, or other significant masculine figures that are in some way disturbed.

Very often the father was absent, or there was a lack of support or genuine presence. The Baby Blue Eyes type attempts over time to cover this wound of vulnerability with a false “hardening,” such as emotional distancing, mistrust, cynicism or spiritual alienation. It is a flower that can be equally helpful for men or women, although it is especially needed for many men who struggle to become strong, by disowning their pain.

So nemophilia’s essence has qualities associated with childhood, to the father figure and attempts to “repress” and hide emotions.

That’s Patton. That’s him, period. The childhood-related emotions, that are linked to Patton’s longing for “a simpler time”. The mentions of a father figure - who migh be absent or showing lack of support (like, idk, suggesting you should die so your friends live?). And the attempt to “cover the vulnerability” doesn’t remind you anything? Like the Nostalgia episodes?

This flower is Patton.

__________________________________

Logan: Blue petunia

I would like to say, from the bottom of my heart, a huge "FUCK YOU" to this flower, because I spent TWO DAYS searching all the blue flowers in the world and all possible variants, asking myself why this goddamn flower looked so familiar and why it was so hard to find. Blue isn't even a common color in nature, so why couldn't I find it?

I've learned more about blue flowers in these two days than in my entire life. I've searched among flowers I never saw before, like glandora diffusa, leschenaultia and omphalodes verna. I was so desperate to consider this flower a new species, with the petals of a bellflower and the corolla of a morning glory. I even found a goddamn chinese variant of the morning glory that was somehow similar but not that much and why, WHY this was so hard to find?!

And then, after two days and a lot more desperation, I remembered: my dear friend @reptilianwithscallions​ told me about a post they made, regarding this shirt and the flowers. Maybe they had some idea about Logan's flower?

Well, let's all thank my saviour and this post, because otherwise I would've kept searching until the end of my days.

Long story short, Logan's flower is a fucking blue petunia.

And it's a very peculiar choice, because petunias have multiple meanings, several of which can be contradictory.

In general, petunia symbolizes anger and resentment. It reminds someone that you're still angry or disappointed by their actions and you haven’t gotten over the things that caused these feelings.

Oh my, I didn't know we were back in Logan's playlist. It's basically what he kept expressing towards Thomas with his songs: that he was angry at Thomas for his decision, that he doesn't approve that Thomas hasn't "a real job" and so on. Petunia is a flower that screams passive-aggressive, so it's perfect for Logan.

But petunia's meaning deeply changes, depending on the color of the flower. And while petunia in general symbolizes anger, a blue petunia is a symbol of peacefulness, intimacy and deep trust, shared between two or more people. It's so wholesome, because the deep trust reminds me - again - of Logan's playlist and how it ended: no matter what, he and Thomas are always best friends.

Also, petunia flowers have even a secret meaning behind. Since they’re also gifted to new neighbors or to people who have just moved into a new home, they represent a perfect welcome and a way to express affection and kindness to others.

You’re lucky to be so wholesome, you tricky flower.

__________________________________

Virgil: Perennial Geranium

Geranium is a confused flower.

Some of the other flowers have conflicted meanings, but not as much as this flower. These are the most common meanings I found:

Folly or Stupidity

Gentility and kind nature

Clever minds

Ingenuity

Melancholy

Perfect gift for a bride

You can gift it to someone with whom you have planned a meeting 

You can gift it to someone with whom you haven't planned a meeting, just to make them feel welcomed

True Friendship

See? It’s confused.

Aside from jokes, this variety of meanings is due to its great diffusion: since geraniums grow everywhere, every culture gave them a different meaning. And sometimes these meanings depend on the situation too.

Awww, isn't it perfect for Virgil? He can be good and bad at the same time. Anxiety can be bad for Thomas and detrimental for his life, but it can also be the alarm Thomas needs. It depends on the situation.

And, just like geraniums in general symbolize positive emotions, happiness and friendship, so Virgil is in general a good guy. All he does is for Thomas' wellbeing, not against him.

And this is confirmed by the vast use of geranium's essential oil. It's one of the most popular and it has a ton of properties: anti-viral, anti-bacterial, anti-inflammatory, anti-depressant, decongestant, relaxing and so on. Just like our Virge boy can be incredibly useful under the right circumstances. (Did someone say "Flirting with social Anxiety"?)

Also, geraniums are simple, humble flowers that usually grow outside, but then we take them and make them part of our homes. Once again, it’s Virgil: he's an outsider, he's humble, he talks bad about himself - but Thomas and the others took him and made him part of the famILY anyway.

__________________________________

Thomas: Cherry blossom

I searched this flower everywhere and the only one that looks like the one on the shirt is the cherry blossom. Why did Thomas make a cherry blossom with eight petals, when they all have five? I have no idea. Is this a different flower, maybe? Maybe, but I’m done: I've looked at enough flowers and I don’t have any strength left.

As you probably already know, cherry blossoms are extremely important in Japan. They're beautiful, they're everywhere and they're meaningful.

Why? Because cherry blossoms are considered the perfect metaphor for human existence. When they blossom it's a pink ocean, a party, people go to admire them - but they’re short lived, because in two weeks, the blossoms start to fall. It's just like human life: a small, rich, glorious parenthesis in the void. Something little and precious that ends soon.

But cherry blossoms also symbolize rebirth, optimism, hopes and dreams. When they bloom, it means springtime is coming and spring has always been associated with renewal.

That’s a very good choice for character Thomas. He’s basically a cherry blossom, the whole series is: something that reminds us how beautiful life is, how multi-faceted, how important. Just like Thomas' single being encompasses seven different sides of himself, so life presents a wide range of choices, of aspects, of flavours. All beautiful, all worthy of appreciation, no matter how different they can be from you and your experience.

And this becomes even more important, in relation to the passage of time and the transience of life. Because life is short and, after that, there won't be any more time to appreciate anything.

In addition to that, I would like to point out how the theme of passage of time is something we already saw in the series. And not just one time, but several. Since the first season, we have episodes all around the concept of growing up, growing old, not being a child anymore, becoming an adult. And the last Aside keeps going in this direction. It's clear this is a big theme and its connection with the cherry blossoms proves it.

But why is the flower so different on the shirt? Because Thomas wanted to mess up with us? Probably. Almost certainly. Once again, thank you Mr. Sanders for making me question everything.

The floor is (figuratively) yours now: if you have any other information, thoughts or opinions, feel free to share them.

_______________________________

TAGLIST:

@willpowerwisps @royalprinceroman @reesiereads @mudpuddlenl @shelby-711 @allmycrushesaredead @aquatedia @sweetkirbi @whatishappeningrightnow  @effortiswhatmatters  @atlasistryingherbest @bella-in-a-bag  @doydoune  @miasheer  @forever-third-wheeling @mishanthropist  @corndot @payte @mcang3l  @geekyapollokid  @kawaiipotatuh  @hypnossanders  @idontreallyknow24  @imcrushedbyarainbow  @simplyapannightmare  @patton-cake

@riseofthewerewolf @frog-candy-bee @bosspotato01  @rosesandlove44 @methaley @sololad  @firey-alex  @sashootkahoot​ @chewy-rubies @groaaaaan  @croftergamer​ @misty-the-girlflux-mess​  @thedevilseyes​  @arya-skywalker​  @csi-baker-street-babes​ @queen-of-all-things-snuggly

@virgildarknessdementiaravenway​ @mishanthropist​  @dracayd-universe​  @unknown-artworks​   @lonelyfangirl453​  @starlightnyx​ @alienvamp-hesitantflowerface​ @stubbornness-and-spite​  @alittletoo-extra​ @averykedavra  @iloveeverytjing123 @bookedforevermore @joyrose-fandomer @anachronismes @the-cloud-14  @mihaela-tbg @igonnatalknothing

@thatoneloudowl​  @grayson-22​  @softangryfuckingdepressed​ @theotherella​  @boopypasta​ @nevenastark​ @varthandi @floofyconfusednerd @nothing-worth-mentioning @mikalya12 @roses-bubbles @cuter-on-the-inside  @coldbookworm  @orchidstanslogan  @snixxxsmythe  @frog-candy-bee  @holleratyour-buoyancy @alexowlndra  @fadingbagelbananapatrol  @our-bloody-mari666  @cxsmospooks @we-need-more-empathy  @riverraysong

[entropic-introspection]

Final Fantasy XIV: A Quick(ish) Summary As Told By Someone Too Lazy To Recheck Exact Times/Things

1.0- We don't talk about it

A Realm Reborn (ARR)- for some strange reason the world got like, completely blown up 5 years ago, crazy! You are some dumb kid from nowhere in particular, with nothing but the clothes on your back and a weapon that is little more than a chunk of wood, or a book. Possibly just your fists. You have got 50 levels and a shitload of lore to get through until you reach the first expansion.

Essentially: you don't have enough money for chicken nuggets, your fashion game is nonexistent, and every high level player calls you a sprout and exhibits Concern about your every action (they mean well).

Garlemald bad, Ascians bad, Eorzea uhhh trying to be good but kinda racist/capitalist/pirates with a history of colonialism, Coerthas is French Catholic and in the Crusades with the dragons. Hydaelin... good? Confusing, for sure, often referred to as Mother in text. Primals bad and scary, but fortunately you are immune to their mind-fuckery techniques thanks to Crystal Mom and surprisingly good at kicking their asses. Garleans mad that you ""savages"" keep killing Primals, despite having a whole mandate against Primals and Primal summoning. Ascians mad that you keep killing Primals because Ascians are dicks. People die, there is an amnesia plot, some annoying twerp is annoyingly right about a lot of things and also you can't get rid of him, Moogles, possession, fucking Ancient Aliens Allagans (if it's a problem in ARR, it's Ascians or Allagans aight), and hey ho you go and kick Garlean asses until they throw a giant machine at you that they stuffed full of Primal juice. Such devastation-!

Then there is the slightly post ARR stuff, where we're still level 50-ish but not really into the next expansion. So basically, we meet Dragon Dad who slaps Crystal Mom's blessing off of you to build character, Ascians are once again dicks, Who The Hell Names These Things, wow Lysanderoth you're definitely not suspicious at all, and our annoying twerp is dabbling in politics and for some reason you're getting fond of him?? Just in time for...

Heavensward (Lvl 50-60)- Congratulations, you are now an enemy of the state! We return/flee to French Catholic Coerthas/Ishgard, where we get to room with our Dear Friend, Haurchefant.

Don't mind how all the high leveled players have started crying. This expansion is emotionally devastating, has a great storyline, and also features canonical consensual dragon vore as a plot point. You know that tweet that's all "Church bad because they won't let you fuck dragons"? Yes, that's Heavensward. You will still cry. We embark on an epic road trip with the annoying twerp (ft his existential teenage crisis), a famous dragon killer and sadboi, and a famous lady who advocates peace/fucking dragons. Somehow, none of you kill each other. Instead, you murder a weirdly attractive bug-man with good music and a desire for violence, a giant flying whale, and some old dudes. You also beat up the same Ascian from the first bit, again. And again, in his final(?) form. Dragon Dad has come along to watch your progress, and also check on his kids cause he's actually, y'know, the entire progenitor of the dragon race. Wow! His family is very sad, mostly. But he does like you, so hey, he can adopt you and have one kid that turned out ok and happy! Hahahahha there's no therapists in Eorzea :')

Then we get to deal with "Hey we ended your like 500 year+ Crusade and kind of upended your social structures, y'all good?" (no), something something Warriors of Darkness, something something Urianger sus, then ALISAIE JOINS THE PARTY. I love her ok, let me have this. She's the annoying twerp's twin, and she's more inclined to hitting things that politics and philosophy. She's also kind of crushing on you. Also Minfillia kinda fucks off to nowhere, which is weird, b/c she has been Important but also Not Involved with the plot for like. 8 years.

Stormblood (Lvl 60-70)- Return of Lysanderoth! Briefly. Before he fucks you over, again. And a bunch of other people, honestly. But hey, this puts Eorzea in open contention with Garlemald for the first time in years, instead of them hovering in an uneasy cold war. For the first goddamn time in the game, you canonically get your ass kicked. Hard. So hard you decide fuck it! And go overseas to Fantasy Japan/China to visit some nice people you helped out earlier. You get catfished. You meet a weeb. There's some pirates, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There's Ravana take 2, this time in a slightly more 'Forever 21' phase. Wild, young, free, REJOICE.

You attempt to inspire rebellion (since your character doesn't talk much, this is quite difficult). Garleans crack down, and hey look, the dude who kicked your ass is back! Prince Zenos Yae Galvus, as by this point you've hopefully learned, even if you're bad with names like me. He kicks your ass again, but this time we break his helmet, and wait shit is he... kind of hot? Maybe? Fuck?? He pins you to a wall and tells you to find him later, it's all confusing and prompts strange butterflies in stomachs. (Side note: as a lesbian, I am making some assumptions here. Mostly based off of how I reacted to the idea of Tsukuyomi doing the same. Mm.)

Then he promptly fucks off, and to work off that sexual tension you square up and work with local friends on Rebellion! You get help from some neighboring nomads after proving you're cool enough to tame a bird, and this proves enough to free the area from Garlean control (for now). We go back to Eorzea, and prepare to kick Zenos' head in. He's playing hard to get though, so we gotta get through some other folks, learn hard lessons about war/colonization, and feel bad. AND THEN WE KICK HIS- oh no wait. Is he... coming on to us again? Oh jesus man, get a therapist, oh my god, this is awkward for us both. Turns out he's kinda depressed and just wants you. To fight him. To the death. There is some bullshittery and he becomes dragon. Fails to kill you, so he kills himself. (Spoiler: it doesn't stick)

The Garlean Empire is now pissed off at you, and Eorzea in general. Everyone is kung-fu fighting, but oops, Garlemald is preparing to commit ~war crimes~! Someone is doing something weird, which is making your Scion friends fall into comas, which is both very convenient and highly inconvenient, cause all of you are kinda needed right now! Zenos, or something in his body, is causing trouble as well. Look, even when we thought he was dead he was causing trouble.

Shadowbringers (Lvl 70-80): We find out what's been making our friends pass out- someone from another dimension has been trying to yoink you over to them, and like all attempts at using the Rescue spell, it just sometimes leads to hilarious accidents. In this case, some epic lag, so although your friends have only been out of it for a week or two at most, they've been in this other world for 5 whole years in some cases. Turns out, Garlean war crimes are all an Ascian plot (what isn't, by this point), and mysterious Crystal Exarch is hoping you can save this world and your own.

At this point, Yoshi P, the lead developer, pulls out a gun and asks if you've been doing all those side-quests and optional 48 man raids. He worked very hard on those, you know. He put in lots of lore. Then he asks if you remember all those dangling plot hooks from previous expansions. We're addressing a lot of those. And adding more. You are sweating and nodding frantically while scrolling a wiki on your phone.

You get to feel like you're in an Otome game, because there's two dudes being weirdly polite and interested in you, but also real snappish to each other in terms of "fuck off she's mine". Alisaie and Alphinaud off-screen character development. Urianger still sus. Thancred now a dad? Y'shtola still so good. A lot of things happen, and you get progressively sadder as the expansion goes on. You get a nice, great big burst of hope and love, and then SOMEONE is a DICK with a GUN. (It is not Yoshi P.)

Now you just feel bad. Your character feels bad. This is all build up for the A) some motherfucking revelations and B) the utter catharsis of "If you could take one more step... would you?" "What, all by myself?" "THROW WIDE THE GATE"

I have shed legitimate tears over Shadowbringers ok, between the music, story, and pacing it is an Experience. Oh my god tho, all the music from Shadowbringers is so good. La-HEE

[lamortexiii]

Cryptic Mystic: In the End

To bounce off of the previous blog posting, I thought it would be fun to just hop right on into the topic of what happens after we die. After all, we just finished talking about souls and a bit of astral projection last time. From transcending to another place/dimension to reincarnation, there truly is a lot to cover when you start diving into the many beliefs and ideas that surround death and mortality/immortality. But what differentiates the scientific facts from myths and stories of olden days? For those who believe in one defined means to an end for us all, how do you know for a fact that what you believe is true? Have you ever questioned what is life after death? Hell, is there a life after death? Or maybe… it’s something else… something so obscure that our tiny human brains are nowhere near possessing the capabilities to understand it. In the end, readers can decide for themselves what is more likely to be true, or maybe… the answer to this cryptic question has been right in front of us all along? Maybe it is a combination of what we know but do not yet understand. Let’s talk shop, shall we?

Death. Happy for some, a time of joy and celebration for others, but likely a time of sadness and grief for most. Some welcome death with open arms, while yet others fear their mortality. The numerous speculations on what happens after we die is overwhelming. There are far too many ideas and beliefs that people hold in this regard. I’ll briefly cover a few of the more popular beliefs as to not make this blog super lengthy - because, ya know, your attention span and whatnot. 

Scientifically, there are two types of death: clinical death and brain death. Clinical death is characterized by major organ failure (e.g. heart, liver, kidneys, etc.) until the body is completely rendered of functioning and the individual is officially pronounced dead. In brain death, solely the brain stops functioning, but the other organs within the body continue to work within their normal capacities. Creepy fun fact for you: the heart can beat for up to 30 minutes on its own after all brain cells have died. Once the heart stops it’s adios amigo. The remaining major organs that were barely hanging on have now lost blood flow, and life has ended. More creepy death fun facts: the gastrointestinal tract can live on its own for up to 3 days, and the complete decomposition of a body takes roughly 30 years! Crazy science stuff. 

Now let’s take a look at some common beliefs and speculations of what happens when/after we die. Again, I want to remind you, readers, that in my eyes there is no right or wrong answer here. I am a firm believer in everyone having their own beliefs and respect all of them regardless of how obscure some naysayers may think that they are. I enjoy hearing stories from followers that help to further broaden my thought processes. If you ever have an interesting story or want to chime in with your thoughts please feel free to leave a comment here or shoot on over to Instagram and we can rap about it. 

The belief that we transcend to another realm/dimension has been around for thousands of years and has been studied for decades. There is a lot to uncover here between recent scientific discoveries and human belief. Many people believe that many other dimensions exist, however, scientific exploration hasn’t fully found the golden answer to if and what these other dimensions may contain if they do indeed exist. We know that Earth has at least three dimensions: space—length, width, and depth—and one dimension of time. Modern physics posits that there is at least a fourth dimension of space, but that we can’t experience it. Maybe we can? Maybe we do but just haven’t put a label on it? Maybe the odd phenomena that happen across the world that people describe as being ghosts, aliens, and other paranormal activities are actually from the next dimension or another. There has been speculation that extraterrestrials come from another dimension through a portal that is already here on Earth rather than from the sky (outer space). 

Give me an R! Give me an E! Hell, this word is too long and I’m not going to put you through reading a silly cheer for 5 minutes. Reincarnation - yet another commonly held belief of what happens when we die. For those of you who may have never heard of reincarnation, here is the quick and dirty version of the definition. Reincarnation posits that when we die our spirit/soul/whatever you want to call it, moves on to a new host. This host could be a human baby that is born the very second that you die OR you could possibly find yourself reincarnated as an animal, tree, flower, or any other living thing that you can find on Earth. Interesting concept indeed.

My favorite belief, that we go to Heaven or somewhere similar, is one that is believed by millions of people across the world. Wouldn’t it be nice to die and go to another world/place where nothing can do you harm, and just live out the rest of your existence in peace? Well, if you can believe it then it may just happen that way - or maybe not. I am fairly certain I have mentioned this in previous blogs, but religion can be thought of as a coping mechanism for that which we do not know or understand; the human way of putting a label on something to make ourselves feel better or like we are a part of something divine and much greater than us. Which, in all actuality, we very well may be a part of something divine and much greater than us, however, it is my personal opinion that we honestly have no fucking clue about the extent to which that is. 

Now, this next one I threw in here because I personally found it to be interesting. In 2017 I was having a conversation with a friend about mystical things such as portals, extraterrestrials, etc. My friend informed me of a research video on YouTube about a company called CERN. He described this Swiss company as having built a circular-shaped machine that when you throw something into its core it disappears. However, other items have come through this machine and into the room from… wherever the other side is? Basically, these people have created a portal and no one knows about it. You’re welcome for the information. Within this research video, the guy who was describing all of this stuff went on to talk about how China had gifted the statue that sits in front of the CERN building. This particular statue is reported to represent the end of time and hell on Earth. There is a whole mythical background story about this statue - you need to check it out. The irony between the statue and this machine they made is uncanny. It made my jaw drop. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I haven’t been able to find the YouTube video again, so I am not sure if it got taken down because the guy exposed something that was supposed to be secret, or maybe I just suck at YouTube searches. Either way, I encourage you to do some digging on this one, because this type of information could potentially support the whole soul/spirit transcending into another realm/dimension belief. I am not a physicist, so I could be explaining this all wrong. You’ll just have to check out their website for yourself and see what it’s all about. → home.cern

There is also the belief that when we die nothing happens. We are dead and it is the end of who we once were. This belief is often held by Atheists and some Satanists if we’re using labels. However, many people believe this who aren’t subscribed to a religion or don’t want to necessarily put a label on who they are/what they believe. This is the grim reality of our existence. Maybe it all means… nothing… Now isn’t that depressing. 

Then there are near-death experiences, which brings a whole different perspective into the mix. People all over the world have encountered near-death experiences. Many report shockingly similar experiences and stories. Some say they see a white light and follow it to a place of peace. I have heard people say that while they were legally deceased they found themself in a field of flowers or floating within the cosmos. A common theme found within these individuals is that once they have had their near-death experience, they aren’t afraid of death anymore - they welcome it with open arms. One woman on a documentary that I watched even went as far as to say that she didn’t want to come back from where she was and was disappointed when she was revived. These experiences could possibly support the theory of transcending to other dimensions or that there is a “heaven.” I can’t explain it, but I still find the information interesting to ponder upon. 

Our mortality is evident, but what really happens when we die? These are just a short collection of ideas and beliefs that have been around for ages, however, there are many more to consider I’m sure. What do you think? Or should I say: what do you want to believe? Ultimately it’s your choice. Whatever brings you peace, serves you well, and is the right answer for you is what I advise you to turn to. This flesh and blood will decay for each of us one day - it’s inevitable. It is for this very reason why I say live life to the fullest. Regret nothing. Do what best serves you. Do what makes you happy. Take chances. Above all else - be the best version of yourself that makes you happy.

Cryptic Mystic Blog by PsychVVitch

www.LaMorteXiii.com

[wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey]

Kdrama recs Part 2

Hello @camsthisky and anyone else who cares! I do apologize for the delay on this post--it has only been 84 years since Part I of my kdrama recs, I know, and I thought about going for a full century but this is me finding a way to de-stress after watching the first episode of I-Land alkdjfadlksj I’m gonna die of heartbreak but whatever

Speaking of heartbreak, there is a lot to be found in Korea’s wonderful historical dramas, so like, be warned—or, if you are an angst-loving monster like me, settle down for hot guys and good cries

Let us begin! (or, if you want romantic modern dramas see Part 1)

1. Scarlet Heart Ryeo/Moonlovers: 

aha ahahahahahaha *weeps* You may have heard people talk about this show. You may have heard ME talk about this show. This thing was my first kdrama ever and it RUINED ME 

Disclaimer: I have seen this show once and rewatched it twice and on the rewatches I can never quite make myself watch the last 4 or 5 episodes because things get tragic and messy and I get mad. HOWEVER there is a lot of good in the first part of the show and because this thing was all the rage in everywhere but Korea itself, there’s like over 300 fanfic for it and several good fix-its, including one by my good friend @thelonelybrilliance

Ok so anyway this show which could also be called An Abundance of Princes starts with a young woman from modern times getting thrown back into ancient Goryeo during an eclipse and finds herself in the body of Hae Soo, the cousin of the wife of one of the princes, and thus she gets embroiled in royal affairs which are, quite frankly, a mess. See, the evil eyeliner prince (whom I love even when he’s the worst) is plotting with his mom to get the Crown Prince out of the way aka dead BUT who should return to the Palace but the 4th Prince, Wang So, who has spent at least half his life living as hostage to a powerful family. 

So has a scar that cuts across his eye and which in this society makes him a horror to look at or smthing idk he just looks extra hot to me but anyway he wears a mask and is known as the wolf dog (or as the MURDER ANGST CUPCAKE thanks @abadpoetwithdreams). He might seem a little rough around the edges at first because his life has been hell but he really just wants to love and be loved okay people need to be nice to him wtf

Other princes include: 

    1.  the Crown Prince, Wang Mu, a good egg, not particularly charismatic but he tried to protect his lil bro when no one else would

    2.  the 8th prince, Wang Wook, who reminds me of a fellow named Shane and I don’t mean the cowboy

    3.  the 10th prince, Wang Eun, a dumb adorable spoiled bby (played by Baekhyun from EXO)

    4.  the 13th prince, Baek Ah, a tol soft boi, an artist, a BAE, a BRO, a SHIPPER ON DECK

    5.  the 14th prince, Wang Jung this son will fight everyone he’ll fight himself he just loves to fight! Not always wise but he’s a good boy and I like him a lot 

    6.  just realized I skipped the 9th prince but nobody cares 

One quick note is that IU plays Hae Soo, and I enjoy her a lot in the first half of the show where she is still spunky and rebellious...sadly her character kind of falls apart/gets too weak for my liking as the episodes progress

The MAIN reason why I feel it my duty to recommend this show to everyone despite the fact I have never met anyone who wasn’t traumatized by it is LEE JOON GI

Yes, this man:

 I mentioned him in the previous rec post—he played Bong Sang Pil in Lawless Lawyer (AND IS NOW CURRENTLY STARRING IN FLOWER OF EVIL WHICH WILL BE ON ANOTHER POST AHDFOIASDHGALDSKJF FRIQ I AM IN LOVE WITH THAT MAN) 

BUT SERIOUSLY LOOK AT HIS PHOENIX EYES!!! HIS RAZOR SHARP FEATURES! HIS BIG ADORABLE EARS! HIS BEAUTIFUL EXCESSIVE BANGS! 4TH PRINCE WANG SO LOVE OF MY LIFE

SOMEONE PROTECT THIS BBY

2. Hwarang: Ok so right off the bat I am going to smack down a disclaimer that I can’t stand the female lead. TRULY CANNOT. Thus, I don’t like the romance, and only care about the love triangle as far as it just shows how sad and lonely one of the guys is. (Also there are scenes of dumb old men plotting and I don’t like them either). At the end of the show, I am happy that the one guy is NOT stuck with the female lead as his wife. Good for you sir

Sounds like a show to steer clear of then, right? WRONG. This is a show that you skip through because the scenes that are good? Are GREAT

Picture this: It is the Silla era of Korea, and the queen is ruling as regent in place of her son, who has been hiding all his life because everyone wants to kill him. Well, son is now grown and must soon come into the light and take the throne. Queen who both wants her son as king but also really likes being queen decides to do everyone a favor and form an elite fighting squad out of all the prettiest and most talented sons of nobles in the land, with the idea that they will be loyal only to the throne, and thereby keep their dads from plotting to destroy everything. 

Let me tell you something, these ARE the prettiest boys in the land. Good hair, good jawlines, beautiful smiles—the cast lineup includes Park Hyung Sik and his cute lil elf ear, Park Seo Joon, Taehyung (yes from BTS!), and Choi Minho from Shinee, plus two other actors who are lesser known but who are drop-dead gorgeous. Anyway. Sorry, but they really are all beautiful. 

The fun thing is they don’t all get along right away, a few of them are VERY much opposed to the other for various reasons, but they all have to bond and become brothers in arms. And what they don’t know is that the real king snuck in and is one of them. 10/10 I would die for the boys! (also Tae has an older half-brother who is a lower rank than him but whom he looks up to and that makes for cuteness and pain) Once you skip the boring or annoying parts of the show, the rest has so much delight, laughter, and oops pain, lots of pain. I want to go re-watch. 

Two other things I should mention about the show: a super soft side romance between secondary characters and a game of, as they call it in the show, HOT SOCCER 

^pretty boy 1 (with the cute elf ear sadly on the other side of his head)

^pretty boy 2 (sad cheekbone bby) and pretty boy 3 (happy cheekbone bby)

^pretty boy 4 (the prettiest of them all, and he knows it!)

^pretty boy 5 (aka Taehyung danced around the set of a historical drama and made everyone adopt him as their bby) 

3. Faith/The Great Doctor: This is a longer kdrama at 24 episodes and they didn’t have much of a budget so special effects aren’t the best or anything but I just got really attached to all the characters? This is another modern girl goes back in time but UNLIKE SHR it actually has a happy ending, so if you need a historical drama cleanse after that tearjerker/enrager, this could be it for you

Eun Soo has to navigate the ancient kingdom, keep people believing she is a heavenly doctor with special powers, and keep Choi Young alive so he can fulfill his promise of returning her to her own time. The problem with that is Choi Young does have kind of a death wish because of reasons—

Eun Soo is a plastic surgeon who would really like a rich handsome husband one day but them’s the breaks for you, aka she has had no luck in that department. Back in ancient Korea, Choi Young (played by Lee Minho in sadly the only role I really love him in) is a high-ranking beloved captain who can fall asleep anywhere. Oh he can also make electricity with his hands! :D

The story begins when the sleepy sad captain tries to escort the new king and queen to their palace. This was during the time period when ancient Korea was basically a puppet kingdom/tributary of ancient China (Yuan). The king (who is very smol and lacks confidence, but still has a good heart for his country) lived as a hostage in Yuan for many years, and his wise tol queen is a princess of that land, and someone needs to sit them down and make them talk because they actually love each other a lot. Anyway, when the queen gets injured by assassins, Choi Young goes searching for a legendary doctor, winds up in modern Korea, and steals both Eun Soo and a SWAT shield, because hey, it looked cool I guess

Lots of fun things in the show: Choi Young has a crew of soldiers who are BEYOND loyal to him, and while he doesn’t think much of the king at first because he’s been burned by kings before, they slowly become bros and shippers on deck for each other. Eun Soo does not lose her spunk or loyalty unlike other people I could mention *cough*HaeSoofromScarletHeartRyeo*, and it cracks me up when she curses people out. There are also a bunch of people (mostly bad guys) running around with special powers or gifts, including a flame lady and a flute boy, and the latter wears delightful anime wigs, keeps his sword in his flute, and plays his flute to kill—literally! I love flute boy very much 

sorry it’s black and white but DO YOU SEE THE SWAT SHIELD

4. My Country: A New Age:

ANGST ANGST ANGST PAAAAAIN BUT ALSO BEST INTRO BEST FAVES BEST ACTORS

Picture this: two young men, who both hail from childhoods of trauma, who grew up together and are best friends, and who are tragically forced apart and end up on opposite sides of a conflict that threatens to upend the current rule of the kingdom. This IS the star-crossed brotp you’ve been waiting for!

Seo Hwi is the son of a general who died a criminal, and all he wants is to live simply and earn enough rice take care of his younger sister, who has seizures and a sweet crush on Hwi’s bestie. Hwi is the best softest most loyal boy with a good and true heart, a great deal of courage, and a talent for wielding a sword, and just wait till you see the best one-shot fight scene ever of him in battle, it is INCREDIBLE! (He is played by Yang Se Jong, who I now want to see more of) Hwi has an abundance of charisma points in that he picks up a small band of loyal soldier friends and they become the best little found family, lots of brotp-ness in this crew—do not mess with any of them because they will all FIGHT you

Seon Ho meanwhile is the illegitimate despised son of a powerful nobleman, only tolerated because the legitimate son died. Seon Ho loves his friend and is very protective of his friend’s little sister who crushes on him but his dad is a high class grade A power-hungry jerk and that causes complications of course. Seon Ho also has a good heart, he’s a gentle soul really, but he always gets stuck in bad positions and unfortunately makes a couple of difficult/bad choices so he hardens himself as much as he can but the consequences always kill him and he just wants to save his friends and destroy his dad and the stupid hierarchy that treats bastards as lesser. WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? 

Seon Ho he is played by Woo Do Hwan who has so much talent I die so many times over in this show just because of the way he portrays Seon Ho like that sad sad boy is one of my favorite characters evER! Is he problematic? At times maybe but I am HERE for him he just needs LOVE AND AFFECTION AND AN ABUNDANCE OF GOOD FRIENDS BUT INSTEAD (SOMETIMES THRU HIS OWN FAULT BUT HE ADMITS THAT) HE JUST SUFFERS AND SO I SUFFERRRR

*grabs a towel and dries up my tears*

Hwi also falls in love with a woman named Hui Jae (or was it Hee Jae i can’t remember) and they are very cute together, she’s pretty cool but the show’s one failing is arguably that they kind of underuse her in the plot as the story goes on? But I still like her and she still has a good role, and she is both brave and kind and not afraid to step in or tell people off, also keep a weather eye open for patching up scenes! 

Oh yeah, eVERYONE in this gets hurt/stabbed/shot/bloody, such a shame they have to take their shirts off to clean and bandage the wounds ;)

Last character I must mention is Bang Won, played by Jang Hyuk in his second interpretation of the historical figure. Bang Won is the fifth? son of the guy who becomes emperor/king, and he has his own plans for the country, so when Hwi catches his eye, he recruits him to his cause.  What you need to know about him is that he has issues with his dad, is slightly unhinged, and cannot and should not be parted from the fan that he constantly carries around with him. Gotta say, Jang Hyuk is FANTASTIC (heheheheheheh) in the role, able to convey all kinds of emotion in the rise and fall of his voice, in the tilt of his head, the tears of his eyes, the flick of his fan. Give this actor all the awards! 

To sum up: if you like to cry for days after watching a drama, if you like excellent heart-wrenching brotps, if you like conflicted characters, if you like amazing music and setting and plot, if you like guys with good hair and arm muscles (and 

abs, thank you shirtless scenes what) this show is a Must Watch 

DID I SAY STAR-CROSSED BROTP I MEANT SWORD-CROSSED BROTP ADKJFADLSKJFLKJDFALKDGKLJL </3

~

Ok I was going to leave the historical drama post at this for now but...I’m going to cheat a little and include the one historical C!drama I just finished.Yes folks I am talking about:

5. Nirvana in Fire:

Ok so maybe the switch from kdrama to cdrama makes you uncertain. Maybe the fact that this show has FIFTY-FOUR EPISODES makes you go hell no I don’t have enough time for that. Well if you overlook this show for those reasons, you are making, and I do not exaggerate, the greatest mistake of your show-watching life!

Look, first, this drama has one of the best, most intricate, most satisfying plots in history, with like 20 characters you would die for, and second, the episodes are only about 42 minutes each, which is shorter than most kdrama episodes, so you can deal.

Once upon a time there was a general/family who were just too good to exist in corrupt old China, so naturally they were framed for treason and there was a giant massacre and everybody died, including the eldest prince who was like um dad maybe this is all a horrible mistake and the king was like no u are the mistake. Sad times.

One of the many younger princes named Jing (A NOBLE HEART, if not always the cleverest) returns home from wherever he was, finds out that not only did his prince brother die, but so did his best friend/brother in the whole wide world, Lin Shu, son of the general. Because he insists on the innocence of said bros/family, Jing becomes an outcast prince and is shuffled off to fight in wars where he can’t cause any trouble. Meanwhile, Princess Nihuang, Lin Shu’s brave, awesome, amazing, wise, incredible girlfriend, refuses to marry anyone else, and because she is too cool to be messed with, nobody tries to banish her

Cut to I think eleven years later, when the two most powerful princes are vying to be the crown prince and heir to the throne. They both try to recruit the aid of a renowned clever and sassy strategist named Mei Changsu, to help them with plotting and PR and such.

Well little do they know that Mei Changsu is actually the not-dead Lin Shu, with a completely new face (for reasons), and that Mei Changsu is a chess master setting up a long con for the dual purpose of obtaining revenge/justice for the dead and of raising Prince Jing to the throne, since Prince Jing is the only man with a good enough heart and strong enough will to make China a better place for all the people. But just to make it hard on everybody, Mei Changsu is dead set on not telling anyone who he really is—again, for reasons. He is not always successful in keeping his secret.

I literally don’t know what else to say because there is so MUCH to say, so many characters to love, and I mean LOVE. How do you get a cast this good? How is everyone so different yet so important? How do you feel bad for the emperor even when he’s slimy? How do you have to stop yourself from rooting for the prince who would destroy some of your faves? I can’t praise the charisma and acting talent in this show enough! And the music! IS GORGEOUS!

1 strategist too sassy for his own good and too clever for everyone else’s good + 1 prince who loves his mom and his dead best friend and his dead older brother more than anything else in the world + 1 gentle wise mom + 1 eternally loyal princess who would defend her loved ones with the sword if necessary + 1 sassy Elrond healer man + 1 grumpy sulky baby who loves being a better fighter than almost everyone + 1 loyal to the death, brave badass general who is going to have a stress breakdown if the strategist doesn’t take better care of himself + not 1 but 2 good boys who deserve to be protected but who are willing to throw themselves into battle if necessary + 1 antagonist tiger prince who I love and am not ashamed to say it = THE BEST OF TIMES

^he hardly ever wears his hair down but when he does <33333333

*checks calendar* how soon is too soon rewatch something, asking for a friend

[kimmyyang]

My views on ‘The Untamed 陈情令’

I never thought I would write a review on a drama although I have watched a lot of dramas of different genres for about 15/16 years. There is something about ‘The Untamed’ that made me want to write a review or at least write out my feelings. I’m not going to write too deep and get into all the details. But I guess this could be a way for me to get out of this trap or try to get it off my chest. 

I’m not a fan of the original novel (well, not yet) as I don’t like reading so I haven’t read it yet. However, I have decided to read it as I have finished the drama and couldn’t get over it no matter how much I want to escape from it. 

Trust me, I don’t usually get THIS attached to a drama or any characters, I mean yeah, the casts are handsome and all, but I stayed for the plot and the characters, not just the good looks of those actors. Especially if it’s 50 episodes long, I wouldn’t stay for someone’s visuals like I ain’t got time for that – I can just watch the cuts of that actor lol. I’m quite picky because I have seen A LOT of dramas, if I watch 2 episodes and it bores me then bye and I don't like long dramas. But after the 50 episodes, I felt so empty like I wanted more??? I know that's normal since I have experienced that before but this time was slightly different.

I personally think everyone portrayed their characters very well, despite most of them are young actors/ actresses. I usually skip or play supporting characters’ parts in 1.5 speed if they’re not as interesting as the main characters. But they kept me riveted throughout the entire drama, I didn’t skip one bit. Most characters hit me at some point during the drama, and I loved it (while shedding buckets of tears haha). 

Apart from WWX and LWJ, my FAVORITE character is Jiang Yan Li - notice how I capitalized the word and it's in bold, that’s how much I loved her. She’s the best shijie/ sister that anyone could ask for. I feel like she’s WWX’s half mother, she takes care of him. She is a gentle and polite woman. She isn’t powerful in the Cultivation World (she mainly just focused on cooking tbh lol it's cute tho) but she doesn’t hesitate to protect WWX. She stood up for him even in front of her future mother-in-law, she trusted him until the end even when everyone went against him, and when her parents got killed, she didn’t blame him (it wasn’t his fault anyway) and eventually sacrificed her life for him. Her death was just so tragic like I was bawling my eyes out, she didn’t deserve it, she really didn’t. She was just a simple girl that wanted the best for her family. But she is the last straw that broke the camel’s back aka WWX, if she didn’t die for him, he probably wouldn’t get out of control. It was so cruel to WWX but I kind of understand why the author did it. 

I also enjoyed the cinematography, scenery and OST, all of it was so astounding. Even the name of the locations were beautiful like 云深不知处 – it sounds so poetic. I loved how each sect had their own colors which reflected their characteristics in the Cultivation World. The characters also had their own OST, my favorite ones are Wen Ning’s & Jiang Yan Li’s songs – it still hurts when I listen to them, and I nearly cried few times (yes, I have a soft spot for Wen Ning, too.) I want to add that Jiang Yan Li & Jin Zi Xuan's song hurts a lot as well, the lyrics are like a fucking knife stabbing me in the chest. I thought I was strong enough to watch the MV, but I couldn't control my tears gdi. You know when you're cutting onions and tears just streaming down your face, that's what happened to me - except there were no onions.  *I was a fan of the singer when I was younger so watching him singing the song on the stage also took me back to the old days ah~ This song gave me double feels lol ;~; 

A part of me regrets that I didn’t watch it last year but a part of me is thankful that I finally got to watch it this year. It was already a hot topic before it even aired in China, so of course I have heard about it and I know briefly what it is based on. But I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon and be like I’m a huge fan of the drama just because it’s popular (it’s hard to explain but I’m quite stubborn sometimes lol). Many said that you wouldn’t understand the story or the little details in the drama if you haven’t read the novel (I watched the animation before the drama, so I know a bit of the story). I don’t like reading anyway so I didn’t bother with it. Also, the genre of the novel isn’t something that I would read so that’s another reason why I left it. I’m not against any type of love, I just feel a bit iffy about reading it, which is kind of stupid now that I think about it lol. Another reason is that I don’t like depressing dramas, I used to watch a lot of those in my younger days, most of the plots are quite cliche. Although 'The Untamed' is sad, there were sweet, happy moments and it has a happy ending, so I loved it.

A lot of people didn’t like the ending, but I think it was a good ending. I mean they can’t really do much as they have to pass the censorship. My interpretation of the ending is that LWJ went to sort out everything in the Cultivation World so that he could be with (or protect) WWX later. He found WWX (maybe a few years) later and called WWX’s name. In that scene, WWX’s black outfit is different to when they parted, so it can’t be LWJ came back to WWX right after they went separate ways – that would very irresponsible to do since he is the Chief Cultivator. It’s an open-ended ending, so it’s up to the audience’s imagination, you can interpret it however you like. The camera didn’t show LWJ at the end so it could also be WWX imagined that LWJ called his name. But I believe that they got together, you can just tell just by looking at WWX’s facial expressions. It isn’t that difficult to figure it out, the novel has a happy ending so yeah. I also read it somewhere that when LWJ went to meet up with WWX, he also changed his outfit but apparently that part didn't pass the censorship (wtf?) so maybe that's why they didn't show LWJ at the end. 

I guess the good thing is that I can’t get all the related merch, if I watched it last year, I would definitely ask one of my relatives to buy and send everything over for me lmao goodbye my money. But I would buy the physical novel when I get the chance. If a drama left a big impact on me, I would buy the novel (if it has one of course).

I think I need a long cool-off period after this drama, I don’t want to watch anything else except their bts, interviews (even supporting actors’ interviews, I usually don’t watch those), crack videos lol, variety shows, fan meeting – basically everything that I can find, I don't think I have watched everything though. When I watched a cut of the cast saying goodbye to their characters on the fan meeting, I cried again (ffs just get over it). It’s definitely one of the best dramas I’ve ever watched and would definitely recommend to those who likes Chinese dramas. Not that anyone cares, but I would rate it 9/10 (if shijie was alive, I would give another 0.5 lol). I don’t know how good the subtitles are, but I did see some odd bits here and there (I watched it without the English subtitles). Sometimes it’s really hard to translate Chinese especially when it’s a xianxia drama – making it even more difficult. Anyway, if I get to finish reading the novel, I might write my views on the novel if I can be bothered lol – I’m a very lazy person XD

I kind of want to write another post just about WWX and LWJ, and how good Xiao Zhan & Yibo’s acting skills were. Basically, complimenting them for 2 pages haha. Ngl, I did fell for Xiao Zhan. I might watch it again just to focus on them a bit more. From the interviews I have seen, Xiao Zhan seems like a very humble, kind, genuine person – you can just tell from his eyes. He’s definitely a treasure boy (硬翻'宝藏男孩'). I don’t think I need to say much about Yibo, he’s super talented, I was already a fan of UNIQ when they were active. The character really suited Yibo and he did a great job portraying LWJ.

Anyway, it’s time for me to say goodbye to 'The Untamed', I don’t know how long I will feel attached to this drama but hopefully there’s another masterpiece that could help me to get over it.

忘羡一曲远，曲终人不散。

[0nho]

raw wip I started last year. tried working on it some more. it actually got really long. university fluff mostly. a dilemma where everyone is a bottom (or are they?), minho pov. very rare occasion I try to use all 5 in a story...

---

Kim Kibum is now the co-president of the university's one and only pride club, actually. Kibum and Jonghyun get along quite well; similar interests and tastes from fashion to men. They do a good job of keeping the club running despite its opposition. 

"Eat ass.." Minho mumbles, not in the mood at all for Kibum banter yet. 

"Gladly," Kibum smiles, flicking his dyed brown and blond highlight haircut that looks like a mullet, "I actually get laid."

Minho can't stand Kibum's fox-like grin, and never has. It mocks him. "I see the westerner's '80s fashion threw up on your big head."

Kibum's full attention is drawn away from his phone. "What did you just say, alien-bug-looking-face, receding-hairline-big-ass-forehead-looking-prick!" 

Minho uses his palm to brush his short fringe forward, brows furrowed, feeling that exchange was below the belt. No need to go after each other's complexes. 

"Kibum says he got dicked in the military.." Jonghyun says, changing the subject back to dicks, naturally, proud of the younger man regardless of the risks involved with that sort of engagement. 

Minho looks dumbfounded, shocked anyone would walk that line considering at worst a prison cell awaits. "You didn't!" 

Kibum's expression, like some cheshire cat, doesn't give away if he's lying or not. 

"I did," Jonghyun raises his hand, always proud of his exploits, at least the ones he tells. "The risk was worth the reward. He was a cute virgin," the man remenses. "My weakness for cute faces will be my undoing.."

Minho looks with horror at both men. His own personal crush was a superior officer with a little chub padding well built muscly arms, height making Minho feel almost short, voice a deep growl yelling at the soldiers to keep up and do better. Whenever the officer told Minho he was doing good and leading by example, Minho pushed to be even better, as if he could have certainly climbed any mountain weighed down by heavy gear or swim the ocean from Korea to China for that superior officer if it meant he could be held in those strong, bulky arms for a moment without judgment. Filthy, dirty wet dreams had visited some nights, making those early morning rises worse than just having to get up early as a non-morning person. But he had never considered pursuing relations in the military. 

"You guys are crazy."

Jonghyun sounds too proudly cheeky. "You'd be surprised how many gay men are in the military at one time. Or the curious and missing a lady's touch. Way too much morning wood in those barracks." 

"I was skeptical about Jonghyun sunbae's experience because he's a known liar.." Kibum side-eyes Jonghyun, "But once I was there.. well, things happened."

Minho went to an alternate reality military, clearly. Maybe his division branch had been that different after all. 

"Maybe if you were a power bottom you would attract more attention and offers," Jonghyun gives advice. ".. I'll teach you, no charge."

Minho leans back in his seat, arms crossed and eyes rolled. "No thanks.." he's not interested in the structure of a power bottom or the ideal and expectations it carries. Minho's a simple, kind of vanilla, bottom into being softly dominated and doted on and eager to please a partner's desires. Maybe a little rougher now and then, with someone he is comfortable with. 

"He's so plain and boring.." Kibum sighs, taking out his phone to browse. "I see why it's hard to find a partner."

Minho's face falls, not amused at all. 

"He has a unique type.. it's difficult to find."

Kibum rests his chin in hand, looking bored, gaze still on his cellphone. "You mean his ideal type is basically himself but a top."

Jonghyun tries to stifle a laugh. "It is.. but I didn't want to say it."

Minho's frown depends. He's is in no mood to be mocked, so he leaves the table for the couch at the far end of the room, practically huffing, hands through his short hair he hopes grows back faster so he looks cuter and to attract potential tops. 

"You made him sulk," Jonghyun scolds Kibum. 

"When is he not? And why do you keep bothering him anyway, he's not into you."

"Or you.."

"Shut up. He's the worst type of bottom.."

"And you're a slutty, bossy bottom."

"Sunbae! You wanna die?!" 

Kibum grows grouchy while Jonghyun smiles, looking towards the door repeatedly, as if waiting for someone still. While there are other members, attendance is infrequent and many show up once and then withdraw. There's a lot of social factors that keep the pride club on a blacklist and on the brink of shutdown. 

As the club door swings open, Minho passing by it, he freezes, spooked by a familiar, and notable pretty, face. 

"Oh.. that sunbae is here too?" 

"Taeminnie…" Jonghyun coos, urging the new face to the club, in Minho's case due to recent absence, over to the table. 

"You know Minho?" Kibum asks, suddenly very curious. 

The young student closes the door behind himself, shrugging off a backpack and tucking lengthy hair behind an ear, a dangling earring suiting the young man's pretty face and slender figure. He doesn't really smile with his reply, side glancing at Minho looking at the youth dumbfounded. ".. not really. We just bumped into each other earlier."

Taemin's explanation is very simplified. 

Minho had been adjusting to being back at school, and in an environment that being outed wouldn't lead right to prison, that when a new face on campus, surely a freshman, kept popping up around him and glancing at him, he had become certain the young man was a bottom on the prowl. It was a sense, an uneasy one. 

When Taemin approached Minho in the hallway, after a demoralizing discussion with a professor urging Minho to keep his head in the game and study to improve his grades from before time off for conscription, a man who knows Minho's father no less, Minho had flushed with insensible panic. 

Taemin had stood nearly as tall as Minho, but with a face and figure right out of a boys' love comic drawn by female artists; an impressive sight to be honest. "Excuse me, sunbae.. could I talk to you about something?" 

Minho took a breath, hands on his unsightly hair that's still simply too short and probably made him look like a masculine top ready for booty action. "I'm not a pitcher! I'm a catcher, okay! I can't help you!" 

Taemin had looked bewildered to say the least, as if another language had just been thrown on him. 

Minho had hurried past the young man as other students filled the hallway. Minho decided he needed to go to the pride club room and see his friends, even if they don't understand him that well either. He had come to miss them a lot and they had become more of a security than he ever thought they could. 

In looking back, that moment had been quite embarrassing on his part. It is too soon to run into the young man again. Some days Minho has the worst luck. 

Jonghyun calls Taemin to sit beside him at the table, practically clinging to the younger man. Taemin carries a small smile, a bit bashful. He pets Jonghyun's head playfully. 

"Taemin, don't trust that sunbae so easily," Kibum warns of Jonghyun. 

"Why do you try to sabotage my happiness? Do you hate me, Kibum?" Jonghyun pouts, snuggling Taemin's shoulder. 

"Sunbae, who could hate you?" Kibum flashes a wide, fake smile. "This club has dwindled enough in members lately. Don't scare more away."

"I'm okay…" Taemin speaks up, voice a little small. 

"Taeminnie…" Jonghyun calls out, joyful and receiving more pats on the head. 

"Sunbae, you're his dog."

"It's great." Jonghyun exclaims. 

Taemin sinks into his seat, embarrassed where the conversation could lead. He changes the mood, "I was wanting to ask Minho sunbae something but now I forgot what it was…" he laughs. "But he's like you guys said. I was shocked he almost made a scene."

"He thought you a bottom hitting on him?" Kibum has a hardy laugh. 

"I.." Taemin's voice gets smaller, like he doesn't want to make anyone feel bad, especially a senior. "I guess so.."

[words-writ-in-starlight]

the untamed is on netflix, right? i think i've seen it. i'm enjoying your posts about it and my mom would love if i watched a chinese show (it looks chinese, i might be wrong though) but i'm kinda short on time so please pitch to me why i should watch it so i will be convinced and look past the lack fo time

Anonymous asked:

ok the untamed looks cool af how doesone watch it 

A L L R I G H T I’m finally going to make a rec post, I’ve put this off long enough.  You’ve definitely already started to watch it, clever, so please forgive me for using this as an excuse to pitch this show.

So, for starters, Anon, The Untamed is indeed on Netflix!  It is in Chinese!  If you (like me) do not understand Mandarin Chinese, the Netflix English subbing is…fine, it’s fine, but I recommend poking around in the fandom because every single form of address is changed to the character’s full name.  And maybe I just spent too much time doing translations for my old Spanish and Chinese and especially Latin classes, but I think there are some things that, A, shouldn’t be translated or, B, should be translated awkwardly over being translated incoherently.  

I digress.  My thoughts about maintaining forms of address in their native language for the sake of clarifying levels of respect/etc are not relevant here.  Chuck a note in my inbox if/when you get confused about everyone’s three names and I’ll write/link you a guide.

POINT IS.  The Untamed is an adaptation of the novel Mo Dao Zu Shi, which is generally translated as “The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation,” and my quick pitch for it is: There’s a plot, sure sure, it’s the story of Wei Wuxian (his fall from grace to Most Hated Person In Magic!China, and then his resurrection and efforts to solve a murder), and if you like character-driven fantasy narratives you Will Like This

B U T

You know that post “but is he…you know…your narrative foil?”  That’s this show.  If what you crave is “one character committedly pines over another for twenty years even when the entire world hates that person,” please let me interest you in Lan Wangji, the love interest.  They have a kid together.  It’s a great romance.  Literally what else do you want from me.  I love a narrative foil, I love a tragedy, I love an epic love story, I love a found family.  And good GOD do I love a character who self-destructs in an effort to do the right thing.

Wei Wuxian isn’t evil.  He’s not even especially malicious.  But when the chips were down and he needed to survive, and to save people, and to figure something out, he took the only avenue left to him, and it was—it was inevitable, really, that it make him the villain of the piece.  He saved a lot of lives.  Everyone except Lan Wangji hates him for it.  He’s already thoroughly despised by the time he starts actually doing things that are objectively bad.  Talk to me about it forever.

My usual list of free-form associative Things I Like That You Will Probably Also Like under the cut:

Wei Wuxian!  I know he’s the main character but I love him so much that he gets a bullet point!  He’s the kind of lighthearted goofball who’s perfected the “I Would Honestly Die Before Showing Emotion To Anyone, How Dare You Imply That I Am Not Sincere In My Perpetual Good Humor” mask, and it hits like a sledgehammer when that mask cracks.  I would watch this actor flip between smiles and homicidal rage all day.  He gets a hug from Son Boy in the last episode and I almost cried.  50000/10.

Lan Wangji!  A great love interest!  Noble to the core!  Incredibly bitchy!  I want five more just like him!

This is where I mention that China has strict censorship laws, so, despite the fact that they kiss and have sex and get married and the whole nine in the book, the show is all Intense Staring And Love Declarations Where They Never Say The L-Word.  But like.  Please trust me, it’s actually So Romance.  If anything I think I like the  romance in the show better.

Wen Ning!

I don’t have anything else to say about him, I just love him so goddamn much.  He and his sister Wen Qing are stars and the rest of these sinners don’t deserve them.

COMPETENT. VILLAINS.  I’ve spilled a lot of ink on this one lately, but I love competent villainy, I love villains who have Goals and plan to Achieve Them and actually pull it off.  Jin Guangyao, the big bad of the “present”(the part where Wei Wuxian is resurrected and kicking around trying to solve a murder), is actually phenomenally good at his job and I support him even though I enjoyed watching him go down in flames.  There are enough villains in this show for everyone to have their preferred type of villain, from Devoted Right Hand Man to Megalomaniacal Overlord to Freewheeling Engine Of Death.  GREAT villains in this show.  Which brings me to…

YI! CITY! ARC!  I’m not going to tell you that much about it, but it’s dark and tragic and features my very favorite villain in the entire show, Xue Yang, who is just.  *chef kiss*  A horrible monster of a man.  An unapologetic, cold-eyed shriek of a villain.  The very best at what he does, and what he does is absolutely horrible, and I would watch an entire series about this five-ish episode arc.  Also, I’ve adopted Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen from the Tragic Ships Shelter and someone should toss me a headcanon ask for them.  Any AU your little heart desires.  I love them.

THE MAGIC!  I know it took me a long time to get here, but it’s a very character driven show and I am a very character driven person and I just wanted to yell about characters for a minute.  But anyway, I’m told that the Untamed is a great onboarding point for this genre of Chinese fantasy novel, because they do a really good job of making the necessary points accessible.  I had no familiarity with wuxia/xianxia/etc when I started watching this and everything about cultivation made sense to me, or at least enough sense to be going on with.  It’s very lovely and fascinating and it’s where they put their Entire Non-Clothing Budget.

This is where I mention that their effects department clearly used their entire funding for, like, cool sword stunts and beautiful clothing.  The wolf puppet in particular is just.  Almost adorably terrible.  If that’s going to severely impact your enjoyment, Idk what to tell you, man.

Related to the above, I love plotlines about characters losing control of their magic.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.

Unreliable narrators, baby! They set up a lot of concrete facts about Wei Wuxian in the first two episodes that become obvious as complete bullshit as you go on, and it’s very satisfying to watch!  See also, Nie Huaisang, the most unreliable narrator of them all, whom I adore.

Beyond all those things…it’s just got a lot of great relationships in it.  It’s hugely driven by the affection people have for each other, or the places they feel they’vebeen deprived of that affection.  It has a lot of iterations of the same relationship in wildly distinct ways, if that makes sense—offhand, there are maybe four major sets of siblings, five if you count the Jins, and they are all radically different and insanely compelling.  The basic structure of Wei Wuxian/Lan Wangji, the “black cultivator/white cultivator on a crusade to change the world” thing, appears a lot of times, and goes horribly awry in a slightly different way for all of them.  That kind of in-universe repetition of themes, doing the same thing over and over again looking for the Right Path, is one of my favorite things to appear in a story—see also, the Kencyrath (twins, Dreamweavers, Knorth lords, loyal Kendar, etc), the Animorphs (warrior teams, deaths on the field, etc), any number of other things I yell about.

TL;DR: The story is great and the cultivation is fascinatingand the schemes are elaborate, but

[watch-grok-brainrot]

Hi! So I saw some of your commentary on translation and decided it's worth a shot to ask. Sorry if it's a bother! What is, in your opinion, the most faithful translation of this line? "Who cares about the crowded, broad road? I'll stick to my single-log bridge until it's dark". I've seen a few variations, including "into the dark". It's a minor difference, I guess, but it's such an important line, I want to know as much as possible!

Not a bother at all! I’m so honored someone would ask my opinion of a translation! And your question is delightfully open ended. i’ve been needing an excuse to go down a rabbit hole of chinese and cql! That means if i wander and end up super off topic, it’s ok! (also, this is the first ask i’ve gotten about something not due to a tumblr game so i’m really excited!) 

Any-hoot! The line in question is:

管他熙熙攘攘阳关道 我偏要一条独木桥走到黑

In short, both “into dark” and “until dark” work. But let’s talk a bit in depth about the elements of the line since you want to know as much as possible. Also, translation, IMO, is personal so you can decide what you prefer. Hopefully i��ll give you enough information to help you form an opinion. 

管他 - guan ta -  no matter, who cares. 管 has a lot of meanings: tube, pipe, valve, manage, control, care, jurisdiction, etc. 他 is him/other. In this case, together, the phrase is a VERY casual (borderline rude) way of saying who cares -- fitting of WWX’s relaxed speech pattern.

熙熙攘攘 - xi xi rang rang -  bustling/full of people. Per Baidu, this is a 成语 (1)  referring to a line from 《史记·货殖列传》: “天下熙熙，皆为利来；天下攘攘，皆为利往”. 史记 is commonly thought of as China’s first “biolographical history”. Written in the Han Dynasty, it chronicles all Pre-Han dynasties and kingdoms. It set the precedent of not discussing the current dynasty in a piece of history writing because under the circumstances one cannot be impartial (i.e you can say whatever you want about previous rulers but not those related to the current ones lest you want to risk decapitation). The passage the term is from is a section that discusses merchants. The line can be translated as “Everyone [under heaven] is happy, all arriving for profits; everyone [under heaven] is troubled, all leaving for profits.” The coming and going captured from the source is reflected by the current usage of the term as bustling/full of people. 

阳关道 - yang guan dao - character by character: sunny, pass, path/way/road. 阳关道 is a reference to a road going through a pass on the Silk Road. There were two options onto the silk road back in the Han Dynasty. The north road forces you through 玉门关 (Yu men guan). The south road forces you through 阳关. Located in modern day Gansu Province, 阳关道 is said to have been 120 meters wide (which is massive even by today’s standards!). Within this context, it indicates a well known, well traveled, busy, broad road. (2) (3)

我偏要 - wo pian yao - character by character: i, wilfully, want. So, in short, “i insist on”. Like 管他, WWX is just being casual in his speech here. The idea of willful, though, is important as a character trait for him. He will do what’s right; he will follow his path; come hell or high water. 

一条 - yi tiao - a. Seriously, the first character is one. The second is a measure word for a stick-like thing. This is a fun (aka highly frustrating for non-native speakers) part of chinese! When you refer to an object that can be counted, you need to use measure words. You use the wrong one, and the implications get odd. Sometimes I would translate measure words via “a [measure word] of [something]”. E.g. A unit of person. A head of cattle. A cup of water. BUT! If you use the wrong measure word, it seems really weird. E.g. A cup of person. A stick of water. 

独木桥 - du mu qiao - character by character: single, wood, bridge. Aka a single plank bridge. It is often paired with 阳关道 since they contrast so well. There is also a chinese saying: “你走你的阳关道，我走我的独木桥” which basically says you walk your broad path, I’ll walk my single plank bridge. It means to each their own. This is definitely part of what WWX is trying to do. He saved the Wens. He’s exiled himself from the Jiangs and the cultivation world. He says to Jiang Cheng that he just wants to be left alone to live out his life. And that sentiment is reflected in this statement about busy broad paths and single plank bridges. 

走到黑 - zou dao hei - character by character: walk, reach/until, black/dark. In this case, the color black indicates an ending. I’m thinking death or some sort of fall from grace. Usage-wise, it can just refer to the end of an alley (alleys existed even in the Tang Dynasty since cities were organized in grids). Sometimes, in a slightly longer phrasing, the wording can mean stubbornly choosing to do something without looking back. So how do we want to interpret this part of the line? Based on context of WWX, his stubbornness, and his 独木桥, I would say he is mindfully heading towards the end. For that reason, I prefer “into the dark” over “until dark”. (4)

That said, we can also be less literal with our translations! Let me offer this as an option of a fairly liberal translation that still captures the essence and the tone: “Who cares! To each their own!  I’ll walk my own path come hell or high water!”

And I’d like to leave you with the idea of LWJ saying to WWX: The feeling of “walking my own path come hell or high water” isn’t bad indeed.

Footnotes: 

成语s are idioms and are usually 4 characters long. They are super common in modern chinese. As a child, you either pick up their meanings from context or are taught the meaning. Oftentimes, the meaning derives from a story or a literary reference that are only tangentially related to the characters of the idiom. 

It’s actually a modern day tourist attraction! In my wanderings on Baidu, i saw a picture of modern day 阳关道. There was a picture of a stone memorial and the writing on the stone literally said former location of 阳关. I don’t know why i found this so funny... oh, well. 

Both  阳关 and  玉门关 are well known to Chinese children due to their presence in Tang Dynasty poetry.  For example: 送元二使安西 作者：唐 王维 (Sending Off Yuan Er Towards Xi’an by tang poet Wang Wei) 渭城朝雨浥轻尘，客舍青青柳色新。劝君更尽一杯酒，西出阳关无故人。(Morning rain in Weicheng dampens the light dust ， Making the inn verdant and freshening the willows’ color 。 I implore you to drink one more cup of wine ， Once west of Yang Guan you will have no more familiar people 。)

Full disclaimer: I might be partial to into the dark because of that Deathcab for Cutie song “I will follow you into the dark”. Also, uh… LWJ’s mood when he named LSZ (5), right?!  “Love of mine, someday you will die/But I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark” FOLLOW YOU INTO THE DARK. I AM SCREAMING. What are wangxian feels?! Why are they EVERYWHERE. 

In case you don’t know, LSZ’s S and Z are 思 (si, to think/miss) and 追 (zhui, to follow/chase). LWJ explains it as 思君不可追, 念君何时归. People (i think both in chinese and english speaking fandom) explain it as “missing you but can’t go after/be near you, thinking about you and wondering when you’ll return.” I always interpreted this line very dramatically: LWJ wanted to follow WWX into death but could not because of this child. By bestowing the name on the child, he expresses his desire to chase after WWX. (also, WTF does my footnote have a footnote?!)

(I want to say I consider myself a native Chinese speaker but I grew up outside of China. I didn't go to school in China but I did manage to work my way through textbooks (aka my dad sat me down nearly every day for 10 years to teach me the language) so that I have at least a late middle school/early high school reading level. I have read the unabridged/simplified Journey to the West but none of the other famous 4 novels. From interacting with people, I believe I have good language sense. I also pick up wordings and phrases pretty easily. The language makes sense to me. However, I am not well read or well studied.) 

Welp, @ ho-heystranger let me know if you’re happy with this. If not, feel free to follow up in the notes or something. oof. this got way longer than i anticipated!

[perfectlywisedelusions]

The Live Action Mulan Is Unintentionally Hilarious

There are some things I liked about the live action remake of Mulan. The cinematography is excellent, and the locations are beautiful. The action is well choreographed and shot, for the most part. Like all Disney remakes, the sets and costumes are excellent. The score is pretty good. The movie looks nice. Now, it’s time for the things that came across as hilarious.

The acting is consistently mediocre. The best actors are the guy who played the one love interest, and Bhori Khan. Everyone else is really mediocre or bad, or we don’t see enough of them to judge. (I am leaving Rosalind Chao out of this because my Trekkie heart wants to defend her, but she has to try and cover up her very American accent and it’s pretty funny.) Mulan really never shows any emotion, nor does anyone else. (Although the actress who played Mulan was really good at martial arts and did a lot of the stunts, so she gets some acting forgiveness.) Our main characters are faced with death, and they never react at all. By far the worst actor is the emperor, who is supposed to be wise and stern but comes across kind of like a robot. When he’s in the throne room, his line delivery is hilarious. He kind of sounds like a not angry version of Anthony Hopkins in Thor: The Dark World. 

The CGI in this movie is atrocious. It is funny how bad it is. The phoenix looks awful. At the end of the movie, there’s this CGI molten metal that looks really bad. There’s a scene where Mulan’s battalion discovers a group of dead soldiers, and they tried to turn the sky gray in post. It looks so bad, especially since the dead soldiers don’t look good either. It’s supposed to be a sad scene, and it’s funny instead. The witch transforms into birds a lot, but the CGI is so bad that they have to cut away or only show reflections of her full transformations. This happens almost every time she transforms and it’s hilarious once you notice it. 

Even the characters’ actions are kind of funny. Mulan never thinks to tell the Matchmaker that there is a spider under the teapot, even though it is a good excuse for why she moved it in the first place. There is no reason for her to keep it secret. The general decides to take his entire army out of a fortified garrison to fight mounted troops on a battlefield. His army has, like 6 cavalrymen, and he still goes out and fights. Facing down an army on horseback when you’re on the ground will not end well. This decision is so stupid and destined to fail it’s funny. The Chinese Army doesn’t even have gunpowder or ranged weapons aside from archers, which the bad guys have, too. (Even though China had gunpowder at the time of the Silk Roads.) Anyway, the whopping 6 cavalrymen all die, and Mulan decides to go after the twelve horsemen who killed them. She follows them, at a slow pace, into a geothermal area where the horsemen have disappeared and she fights the witch. She is on what I’m guessing is a buildup of sulfur or other minerals, and we see it beginning to crack. There is a shot devoted to showing that the ground is breaking. Rather than using this to her advantage while fighting the witch, Mulan gets thrown against a wall. All she had to do was to plunge her sword into the ground. She might die, but she’d at least take the witch with her. After fighting Mulan, the witch turns into a bunch of small birds and goes to “attack” the Chinese Army. She turns the movie into Birdemic temporarily, and the army hides out under their shields. They are literally being dive-bombed by sparrows. Worst case scenario they have a few scratches. Then Mulan, rather than going after the twelve horsemen she was after in the first place, decides to go help her friends who she doesn’t know are in real danger. She gets the enemy soldiers to shoot their catapult at her, but the operator is off by 2,000 feet at least. He shoots nowhere near where he thinks the enemy is. He is so off of his target that it’s funny. Mulan returns to her friends and has to leave, but would rather be executed than sent home. She doesn’t consider that her family might want her back alive, and instead wants to die. (She later gets praised for her devotion to her family. And while this is trying to make a point about honor, we never see exactly what dishonor does to a family. The characters say dishonor is bad, but we don’t know why.) Anyway, Mulan then meets the witch again, who says that Bhori Khan is going to take the Imperial City and kill the emperor. That is all that the witch says. This is basically what Bhori Khan’s plan would have been in the first place. He’s trying to conquer China. He’ll probably go for the capital city and the ruler. But Mulan takes this to mean that Bhori Khan and his army are at the gates of the Imperial City, and no army is close enough to stop them. I have no idea how she arrived at this conclusion. Upon being told that the people conquering China were going to take over the center of power, without being given a specific time frame as to when this will happen, Mulan somehow believes that Bhori Khan is right outside the Imperial City and that no one is close enough to stop them. HOW DID SHE COME UP WITH THIS? She manages to get her 6 friends to go help defend the city.(Note-six people will be no help against an invading army.) There’s already a small army inside the city, and then six people show up to help. It’s so pathetic when they show it in the movie. The emperor gets kidnapped and taken to this building that is currently being constructed. Bhori Khan decides to burn him alive by tying him to the top of the building, then he melts metal? He has a vat of melted metal and then three pipes of fire. First of all, it’s impossible to get metal heated to the point where it is liquid without proper equipment. Bhori Khan didn’t have any equipment. Also, what was his plan? Was he going to let the melting metal catch the building on fire? He could have just set the building on fire but instead he wanted molten metal to slowly catch it on fire. Seriously. The molten metal is so random that it’s funny. IT LITERALLY HAS NO PURPOSE TO BE THERE EXCEPT TO DESTROY MULAN’S SWORD AND IT’S SO LAZY. I thought that Bhori Khan was going to pour molten metal down the emperor’s throat, because that happened in history before. But no. The metal is just randomly there. Then Mulan and Bhori Khan fight. The end fight is literally the fight in the blacksmith shop in Pirates of the Caribbean but in a building. Melting metal? Check. Balancing on the rafters? Check. Sword fight? Check. Characters launching themselves up and grabbing onto said rafters? Check. In the end, to kill Bhori Khan, the emperor grabs an arrow and uses Mulan for an assist combo kill. He literally tosses her an arrow so she can kick it. It was really stupid. The end where Mulan returns home is okay. That’s it. 

The humor was not great. The one lighthearted, “funny” scene was that of Mulan getting ready for the Matchmaker, and it felt really out of place. There were some fun moments, but not much. One of the “jokes” was when one of the characters, a young, innocent boy started crying at the beginning of training. To me, this was a really relatable moment. This kid had been forced to leave home and had to train very hard under the impending threat of death. Anyone might have cried in that moment. Then the general went “Is he crying?” like that was ridiculous. It was supposed to be a joke, but that moment was literally the most connected I ever felt to any character and they made it out like his crying was stupid. I felt attacked. This movie had very little personality. The characters had very little personality. They weren’t relatable in the slightest, and when they were, they were shunned for it. Any of the strong characters, like Mulan, were special and basically had magic. It was a decent action movie, but it tried too hard to remind fans of the original. If they had tried to make it their own war movie about a girl who had to hide her skills and overcome the sexism of Ancient China while fighting in a war against a witch, it could have been okay. However, they tried to include scenes from the original that didn’t work with the tone or concept. For instance, Mulan creates an avalanche by tricking enemy soldiers into shooting a catapult at her. This shows that she might be smart, but she doesn’t think about using the terrain to her advantage when fighting the witch. She could have broken the ground, or at the very least hidden in the steam around her and used surprise. The avalanche scene is the only scene where Mulan uses her smarts, and it’s only in the movie because it was in the original. Basically Disney tried to fuse their vision with enough scenes from the original to keep fans happy. It did not work. The only sad scenes were the ones that were supposed to be funny, and the sad and dark scenes were actually pretty hilarious. The end result? Disney lost $130 million.

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

Overpopulation, Ecofascism, and Covid-19

There’s a lot of posts going around right now about the effects of isolation due to Covid-19 on the environment, ranging from misinformed to really, truly alarming. They are all, to put it mildy, utter bullshit. And since I now have a lot of free time and am just weeks away from a degree in both environmental studies and anthropology, I’m here to shut this shit down.

The “Overpopulation Issue” is incorrect and rooted in eugenics.

So, the idea of overpopulation is frequently touted as the primary threat to the environment. It usually cites birth rates in place such as India, China, and sub-Saharan Africa, arguing that if we want to keep a livable planet, we need to dramatically cut back on human reproduction. This is astoundingly incorrect. 

It’s generally agreed by environmental scientists today that the problem isn’t overpopulation, it’s overconsumption. Overpopulation arguments are based on an idea that everyone consumes the same amount of food, materials, energy, etc, and as a result has the same impact on the environment. This is blatantly untrue. For just one starting set of data, the United Nations Environment Programme states that the United States produces more greenhouse gas emissions than the continents of South America and Africa combined. In a year, the average European consumes seven times as much material as the average African, also according to the UN. The average United States inhabitant consumes thirty-six times as much as the average Indian. Uneven consumption, and the consumption levels in the US and Europe in particular, have much more drastic environmental impacts than the consumption in regions like India with dramatically higher populations. 

But where did this idea of overpopulation as the root issue come from? One starting point is with Thomas Malthus’s “An Essay on the Principle of Population” in 1798. Malthus argued that human population was growing at such a rate that within decades, our rate of food consumption would outstrip our rate of food production, causing widespread famines. The solution to this problem would be a combination of lowering birth rates and increasing death rates. As you can imagine, this didn’t go over very well at the time, and we know now, over 200 years later, that his estimates were absurdly incorrect. However, Malthus laid the groundwork for later arguments.

Here’s the bit where it gets pretty yikes. The overpopulation movement as we know it kicked off in the 20th century - with the rise of the western eugenics movement. The ideas of overpopulation were becoming common, but with a twist; it was not overpopulation in general that was an issue, but the increasing populations of certain ethnicities and nationalities. Does that sound like the Nazis to you? It should, because this is the same ideology that brought them to power. Though targets varied by individual group, the eugenics movement tended to focus on people of color, those with physical and intellectual disabilities, and religious minorities. 

Paul Ehrlich’s book The Population Bomb, written in 1968, builds upon the groundwork placed by Malthus, and that created by the eugenics movement. Like Malthus, Ehrlich predicted widespread famine in the 1970s - and was again utterly wrong - but he takes it a step further than his predecessor. Ehrlich’s book focused on specific countries that he believed would be hardest hit by overpopulation - in particular, India, but overall much of the “global south.” Ehrlich believed the United States should lead foreign policy in this regard, and a variety of measures (including refusing food aid in famines to countries that didn’t meet the US’s standards of population control) should be implemented and enforced by the nation. 

Ehrlich’s book was published just two years before the start of the US environmental movement, and shaped a large portion of its ideology. This is where ecofascism comes in. 

The rise and dangers of ecofascism.

Ecofascism, as a concept, has been around for decades. Its formal origins are thought to again begin with the Nazi party’s ideas regarding the link between racial purity and connection to their homeland. Over the years, it has morphed into an ideology formed of a fusion between environmentalism and white nationalism. Though it presents in a variety of ways amongst differing groups, the main takeaway is that lowering the population, specifically by eliminating non-white races or ethnicities, is the only way to save the planet. This is exemplified by Garrett Hardin, best known for his idea of the Tragedy of the Commons but here relevant for his support for Finnish ecologist Pentti Linkola’s idea of “lifeboat ethics.” Linkola’s idea, because I’m nauseated by trying to summarize it, is as follows. 

“What to do, when a ship carrying a hundred passengers suddenly capsizes and there is only one lifeboat? When the lifeboat is full, those who hate life will try to load it with more people and sink the lot. Those who love and respect life will take the ship's axe and sever the extra hands that cling to the sides.”

Yeah. It’s notable that Hardin was a known white supremacist, and his writing makes it clear exactly who he expects to be in the lifeboat and who is on the sides. 

Ecofascism has had real and lasting damage, especially in the past few years. Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, wrote ecofascist manifestos as his way of justifying his actions. With a fictionalized Netflix series released in 2017, Kaczynski's ideas were brought to the forefront again, and have been growing since. The 2019 Christchurch shooter wrote a manifesto where he explicitly declared himself an ecofascist, again as a justification for his actions. 

How is this relevant to Covid-19?

There have been a wide variety of posts going around in the last few weeks about the results of Covid-19 and quarantining. The one about Venice’s clean canals is a pretty popular one, as well as various posts about animals “reclaiming” cities as people shelter in place. These posts are generally linked with a few key points at the end, including “this is what we could have without people in the way,” “humans are the real virus,” and even “we should let Covid-19 take its course for the good of the planet.” 

I don’t think I need to explain at this point how these tie into overpopulation ideology. However, there are two key details that you should remember. First, especially at its beginning, Covid-19 was heavily associated with China and Asia, a frequent target of overpopulation debates and also, you know, generally populated by not white people. Second, if Covid-19 “takes its course,” the people who die will be the poor, the disenfranchised, those without access to healthcare or with existing medical risks. Based on demographics regarding race and poverty in the US, that primarily means people of color and people with disabilities.  

Okay, so yikes on all fronts. It’s worth noting that a lot of people expressing these sentiments are not aware they’re sharing fascist and white supremacist ideology. The “Overpopulation Issue” is still a very widespread idea, especially within environmental groups. However, it generally exists as the vague idea of “less people is good, maybe.” It takes a bit of research, and the knowledge that you should be looking for something, to uncover its eugenicist roots. 

That is not to say that all people sharing these sentiments are innocent. White supremacists and people with other forms of fascist ideologies are pretty good at sharing mostly innocuous versions of their beliefs, things that your average, non-fascist person might agree with. It’s a quiet way of getting you over to their sides, getting you adjusted to their ideas so that you may not notice or not care when they start to ramp them up to more explicitly genocidal. And it’s very easy for ecofascists to take advantage of the widespread fear right now, to spread the environmental results of quarantine as a spot of lightness in the encompassing darkness.  

Basically, what I’m saying is be careful. Be skeptical of these posts, of the ideas of overpopulation as a danger or mass deaths as a benefit. Read critically, keep an eye out, and don’t fall into eugenicist mindsets. Look for lightness in the dark, but don’t accidentally spread support of ecofascism.

[fireflyfish]

Hop on the Wen Chao Haterade Express!

Hahah! I hope you weren’t expecting something about Tano and Kenobi right? Because I have thoughts that must be shared with others and you are all my unwilling victims. Can one be a willing victim? 

Episode 17: Wei Wuxian goes to the Ancient China Google School of Medicine

After Episode 16: Running and Crying; Now with Running and Crying In The Rain we left our hero sitting in a boat having an existential crisis because that’s what happens in boats in ancient China. Crises and crying. Nothing good happens in boats in Ancient Fantasy China. Wen Chao was probably born in a boat. 

Wen Ning is flawless and really strong for the local Woobie Badass and carries our 200 lbs of whoopass and Mommy issues to the crisis boat and Wei Wuxian with the promise that everyone back in Lotus Pier is drugged off their asses and will wake up with the same headache I have every morning when I remember the state of the world I’m living in.

There is no ibuprofen that can save you Wen Chao. I hope you suffer you unmitigated twat. I hope you trip on every loose board in Lotus Pier and break all your toes. I hope your hideously tacky and vicious little bloodsucking mosquito of a girlfriend lands face first into a pile of fire ants. I hope... 

Woah... I’m not even sure I hate Palpatine that much. Wow. Fire ants... damn. I need to calm down. 

Eh-hem. So When-Will-His-Face-Make-an-Expression Zhuli is very zen about the whole thing and I just don’t get his character. What is going on? Why is he all :| when he is serving the Wen Clan? He seems so annoyed by Wen Chao, which automatically makes him better than all the other Evil Wens, but he still goes around melting cores and killing Beloved Parental Figures and having respectful dialogue like he’s not the bag man for the WORST heir to a fantasy throne since Game of Thrones. I bet he and Joffrey when to some kind of evil royal boarding school together. Ramsay Bolton was probably there too.

Then we float on a boat of sadness and pick up Yanli, who is understandably sad and say goodbye to an old lady who I think is going to die off screen? Who are you? Where did you come from? Does Jiang Cheng need to avenge you too? 

The boat floats on until it transforms into a cool box carriage thing and My Perfect Son Who Gives Me Echo Vibes smuggles our beleaguered family into the earth kingdom Yiling which hold up! Isn’t that where Wei Wuxian is supposed to be like the Great and Terrible Yiling Patriarch? Where he did such horrible things like make a compass that detects ghosts and cool goth varsity flags that summon ghosts? I feel like this place is important and LOOK AT ALL THE TREES!!! *cries in Central Texan about trees* 

My Other Equally Perfect Son Who Does Not Deserve This Jiang Cheng is sick and feverish and Wei Wuxian decides this is the perfect time to get him a blinging black cape with red accents and I swear I am hearing the Imperial March in the background. The I-Do-Bad-Things-For-Reasons-I-Think-Are-Good-But-Are-Ultimately-Bad-And-My-Light-Side-Boyfriend-Gets-His-Heartbroken-Because-Of-It vibe is very strong.

Anyway, Dr Wen Qing Medicine Woman shows up and looks at her baby brother and understandably gives into that sweet innocent face because Wen Ning Has Done Nothing Wrong In His Life. AND WHY THE HELL IS HE THE GHOST GENERAL?? WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY PRECIOUS SON WEI WUXIAN??? DO I NEED JIANG CHENG TO STAB YOU AGAIN?

After some ancient Chinese medicine, which looks so much more pleasant than my last visit to the GP, The Radiant Goddess Wen Qing explains that Jiang Cheng has no golden core and that’s clearly bad but it isn’t until Jiang Cheng wakes up and tries to apparently suckerpunch Wei Wuxian with all his spiritual energy that we learn the truth.

Wen Zhuli is a Monster and He Hurt My Precious Child. Madam Yu energy intensifies.

So then Wei Wuxian basically badgers Wen Qing into letting him look at all her medical books and of we go into a studying monologue where time is measured in stubble and plates of uneaten food. Wen Qing is being very patient and gorgeous about the whole thing even though she knows there’s Nothing You Can Do Anakin Wei Wuxian. You Cannot Keep People From Dying Rebuild People’s Golden Cores After The Palm d’Or of Death Smacks Them. 

Then Wei Wuxian makes Yanli cry and he is on my List now because Yanli is Perfect and Flawless and none of you bastards deserve her, except you Wen Ning or possibly Meng Yao WHERE IS HE? HOW DID HE NOT DIE FROM BEING STABBED IN THE CHEST? QUI-GON JINN FELL OVER LIKE A SACK OF BAD POTATOES BUT MENG YAO IS JUST OUT THERE LOOKING FOR WORK WITH A BLEEDING CHEST WOUND?

Then Wei Wuxian mentions Lan Zhan and Yanli tells him “Listen, Asshole. ACheng is Sick and trapped in an acupuncture coma because he won’t sleep, I am ominously coughing and you have HIDEOUS stubble. Your Robot Bunny Boyfriend will just have to wait. We are the A plotline in this story, not your bromance with the reserved and gorgeous nerd in the back of the classroom who knows all the answers because he’s already finished the text book. Focus on my face and my tears you idiot. You made me cry!”

Wei Wuxian understandably feels bad, sleeps, shaves and then goes back to studying after Wen “I am so going to regret this in two episodes” Qing picks up her library and decides that someone with ACTUAL medical experience should be doing some research. 

Also... what is going on with those pots that Yanli and Wen Ning keep fanning? What is in those? Medicine? Ox bone soup? Poison I can give to Wen Chao?

After some more lovely shots of Yiling that REALLY make me want to hire their set designer to build my dream house, Wei Wuxian finds the wooden scroll book “How to Give Your Core To Your Adopted Brother Because You Have SO Much Guilt And Also Your Promised Your Adopted Father Figure You Would Take Care of Him And They Don’t Have Talk Therapy In Fantasy China Yet”. 

There is some dramatic sitting, some dramatic “Hell No I am not doing this” on Wen Qing’s part and lots of “No, really, you have to do this. I am totally okay sacrificing for the Jiangs because it’s REALLY going to make everything hurt so much worse later on when ACheng murders me to death on the edge of a cliff on Mustafar Quishan” 

Wen Qing is probably thinking of all the horrible ways this could go south and is trying to be An Adult when Wen Ning shows up and is pure and good and full of faith and devotion to Wei Wuxian and I think I need to send a clone extraction team to rescue my poor baby boy. 

Unable to withstand the purity of Wen Ning’s smile and because the script says she has to Wen Qing agrees and gives us some ominous stats and Wei Wuxian is cool with that because “It might work and if it doesn’t who cares? Wen Chao is going to show up at any minute to murder us and probably you and Wen Ning and then Lan Zhan will show up with his Guzheng (yes I did have to google that) Of Pretty Magical Death and then we’ll just have to wait for the next episode after that where everybody magically survives except all the people *I* like because that’s how these things go.”

WHEN DOES WEN CHAO DIE? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO GET FROM LOTUS PIER TO YILING BECAUSE IT FEELS LIKE IT’S TAKING WAY TOO LONG AND I AM SO VERY WORRIED ABOUT YANLI’S COUGHING. WHAT IS THE STYGIAN TIGER AMULET AND WHEN DO WE GO BACK TO THE FUTURE?? 

WHEN DOES WEN CHAO DIE?????? 

[a-cai-jpg]

this is the most honest i know how to be.

as we walk down the streets of boston at 5:30 am, the air is cool and sweet. 

i breathe in, and i'm in indiana, at camp, dragging myself from my cabin to the main lodge and trying to hide my weariness from my campers. their laughter filters through the cotton grogginess of my mind. i lean towards it as we eat. on the train, the trees rush past my window. we didn't even notice when the train started moving, but then suddenly we were out of boston.

the last time i took ground transport to somewhere else, it was october, maybe. i was with hannah then, and we talked about traveling. it was 5 hours of conversation, and from that day, i knew i had to keep her. you were on my mind then too.

the early morning sunlight shifts through the trees. i'm reminded of rural england, 16 years old, something wild rearing its head in my chest, a shadow of which i still feel if i try hard to look for it. i'm writing a postcard to a friend. "the forest looks like a place for fae," i write. i received a letter from him last year and spent too long thinking of a reply.

so here it is--we are at the end. i was cooking at casi's stove yesterday night, and i said, "why can't we just rewind to orientation?" and the fear comes out as a whine. we are walking across a bridge towards brown university today, and i think about why humans are afraid of death.

"people are afraid of the unknown," i say as we wait for our starbucks drinks. "i think that's why we are scared of death."

i'm responding to her fear of unnaturally large things. i don't think this is what she meant.

but i'm thinking about how and why we are on this earth. to what do we become once we die? are we afraid of the unknown, or are we afraid to become no more? how many of us are remembered when we pass, how many of us are worth being remembered? for what do we live?

i think the questions in my head, but i don't speak them aloud. we walk past a canopied path that she says reminds her of haikyuu.

i am both weary and restless. i want to crawl out of my skin and take a nap somewhere for a few decades, but instead i'm trapped on a 6 hour flight back home. i'm scared of going home.

the plane is warm, i can't breathe, and i wait for my earbuds to charge so i can continue watching television. i think my thoughts in coherent sentences so they do not wander, and so here i am, writing this on my phone. i glance up at the map sometimes, and chuckle inwardly as i realize i can't actually recognize the states without labels. which one is arizona and which one is new mexico? it's a 4 hour drive to arizona so it must be closer to california, i think to myself. or did i make that up?

i think traveling will help, but i wander different cities and mountains and cliffs and lakes, and i want to go back home.

but it's weird, because home is a feeling. god i've written about this before, but home is a feeling. a route that i walk without thinking, feet moving to the beat of my music. shrieks of laughter as we watch television. the calm silence as we eat dinner. i can count back the hours and days to which i last felt at home.

when did you last feel like yourself? daniel asks.

sometime today, i think. not when we were driving up the north shore. probably the arboretum. it's familiar, and i am grounded. i was actually thinking about this today, i joke. i don't know when it was, but i thought, wow the crystal really worked.

but god, the last time i felt at home.

i ask daniel to put my cot in his room because i'm scared to sleep alone. i sit in casi's living room for as long as possible, and play with the idea of asking whether i can sleep over. she offers, but i decline, because how long can i push it off? for the first time, i'm annoyed that my basically-stepfather lives with us now, because i can no longer crawl into my mother's bed. i haven't done that in years.

ten, twenty, thirty minutes pass, and i allow myself two teardrops and tell daniel my most irrational fear. what the fuck? he says in reply. i know it's irrational, but if it happens, i'm going to be so fucking pissed. yeah, it's irrational. it's easier now that someone else holds it with me, even if he thinks i'm crazy for even having the thought.

a few years back, i wrote a piece about not finding your home in people. people change, your home crumbles. i wrote this after meeting an old friend in ginza. i got a new haircut that day, and he dyed his hair brown. i never found a home in him, but i did in others that we once shared. i thought about change and college and what comes next, and as i looked at him in wonder, i was nostalgic and wistful and hopeful.

i tell my therapist that i identify myself in relation to people. when they are gone, i am lost, or i spend too long looking for myself again, and when i find the self, i'm not sure i like her. she doesn't understand, because i smile and joke and talk about the theory of the reflexive self, but i'm so fucking scared.

i don't know, i muse. see, i think the problem is this. i'd created an expectation for who i wanted to become. but i don't think i became her, so now i've disappointed myself.

i'm watching a korean drama right now, but i keep thinking about a japanese movie i watched with my aunt in china. it's called hanamizuki, and i'm not too sure what about it stuck with me. 花水木. maybe the poignancy of loss? of the happy ending not working out?

i've written stories in my head all my life, and i'd tried to write a script for my own life. i would joke i'm the tragic greek hero, trying and failing to defy the gods, but if there is a god out there, he'd probably just smile sadly at me.

i'm not unhappy. i'm happy.

i keep asking the people around me this question, and everyone says, "i'm not unhappy, but i'm not happy."

i can definitively say i'm happy. i've had so much fun this past month, i don't know if i deserve it. it's just sometimes, i want more. life is an exercise in being content with what you have, but i'm still learning the steps towards that.

i don't expect all the days to be good. one day, i know i will be definitively unhappy. but i also (do i dare?) don't expect all the days to be bad. one day, i know i will be definitively happy again.

but at the same time, i don't know how to respond when people ask, "how are you? what's new? tell me what happened."

i realized i'm terrible at lying, because i want people to see me for my full self, but at the same time, i'm terrified of that.

jason pulls up a picture on my instagram and says, this doesn't look like you. i'm almost offended and laugh, until he says, you look too happy here. did i not look happy in the pictures you took of me today? i ask. no, you did. but you look genuinely happy here. i've never seen you look like that before.

i don't know how to respond, so i just shrug and say, it was a good day.

it was after an exam and the weather was warm. i could wear a dress and a light jacket. i really like that dress. i remember something about a watch. my ankle ached because of where i'd rolled it a few years back, but yeah, i guess i was happy.

people ask, how are you? i'm okay, i say after a pause, not reflexively. my professor says he's sure i am well, and i smile.

i'm okay. i began the year okay, and am ending the year okay. i'm happy, and life is good even if it's not ideal. i'm going to hawaii and going ziplining even though i my own lungs suffocate me when i'm high up. look, it will all be okay. the world loses its color, but gains some back.

the world does not end.

i'm sure i will go to bed melancholic. i will watch television until my eyelids grow heavy, and i'll reach over to lock my ipad and pray that i will fall asleep. i might wake up melancholic, probably from a dream that will seem childish in a few months time. but i have to wake early tomorrow, and have things to do and people to meet, so i will be okay.

non-daily song rec: 郭頂 - 水星记

[kyrrahbird]

Ky’s 琅琊榜 Nirvana in Fire/Lang Ya Bang liveblog experience

EPISODE 3

OKAY EP 3 THE ONE YOU REALLY NEED TO STICK IT OUT TO

if u havent watched this show *please do*!! And maybe dont read this liveblog lmaoo

i forget entirely how much goes into each ep. but anyways to get this show on the road: this one starts with the child being beaten :( ...

Education in your serf class is bad obviously

I admire the gall of the eunuch to say “Prince Jing cant help you now” when Prince Jing is Right There

poetic justice

this is ALSO

dun dun

the first meeting of the DREAM TEAM 

!!

(Jingyan, Mei Changsu and Nihuang)

OOOH BOY THE UNDERCURRENTS

MCS goes straight to comforting the slave boy and i just feel,,, its sincere but there are,,, SO MANY layers of machinations going on here

like its manipulation of Every Person in this scene and i both hate and admire that cold blooded calculation

ESPECIALLY WHEN HE’S MEETING JINGYAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TWELVE YEARS ;A;

Just an update: this man is still Dead Inside™. And so distrustful i die too

Quick aside to the terrible princes:

I would also like to note, and its been said before but

Prince Yu is NOT SUBTLE in his aspirations. if i had to say who was the crown prince i might be confused??

and back-

Nihuang and MCS just pulled a mean pincer maneuver on Jingyan and hes being equally pointy back. Stop being mean to my prince :(((

i do wonder if nihuang is clued in, bc if she is, she puts a hell of a lot of trust in mcs. or maybe its all just subconscious, and they’re falling back into their old dynamic 

this scene KILLS ME

bc Prince Jing is trying so hard to protect tingsheng but he really has such limited power and he knows it

(i should read the book)

The first time i watched i did not realise HOW YOUNG mu qing is supposed to be. i love a protective younger bro ;;n;;

I also appreciate the flashbacks to relevant information. just so we know whats important to mcs

MENG DA-GE

-just saved that dude’s ass

Fei Liu was ready to wreck him

This didnt need to be so ominous but i appreciate their dedication to the Melodrama™

EVEN THE TALKING WHILE NOT LOOKING AT EACH OTHER

Nothing sus going on here. look they’re even facing different directions

MENG DA-GE LITERALLY SAID MOVE INTO MY HOUSE

bless

He’s worried!!! His mother hen tendencies are coming out!!

No he doesnt. No thoughts, only protecc

like a puppy

I also love the fact that despite all her fancy headdresses and pretty outfits, we never forget Nihuang is a martial general. Its the way she holds herself and moves i think

“This person is a mystery” > cut to sir su napping in a chair

Theres definitely comedy here. quite a lot of it!!! and i adore it

Never fear, Meng da-ge is here to join the “Force Mei Changsu to look after himself” gang

Side note - I kind of take it for granted as the kind of person Meng da-ge is, but i do think its symptomatic of the empire that one guy can just rock up and basically suborn the entire royal guard. like. your majesty. u done fucked.

70,000 is a staggering number of your own people to kill in one go. Like. I can’t actually wrap my head around it.

And all those people would have had families and friends and sure, they’re mostly just common but. most likely a bunch of the prominent families were killed too. im just wondering if there were like. riots? Or everyone just kept their head down and were like “guess it must be treachery”  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Consort Yue is so goddamn transparent in her manipulation but also like - there’s layers there

Because I feel like the emperor sees through the first layer (having an interest in who Nihuang marries) but is completely incapable of seeing beyond that

Or he doesnt want to. I mean the man does encourage competition in his court

Anyways we find out that he’s going to choose Sir Su to judge the written part of the challenge

This is great because it means Su-xiansheng is going to COURT :D

why do i keep changing how i refer to him? its whatever fits the vibe baby

Man’s got too many names anyways

gotta keep them in rotation

Oh we just found out Baili Qi might be top of the Langya list. good to know the system isnt infallible

I love everyones reactions like

what

the fuck

SOMEBODY FIX THIS

LMAO

Yujin is here to drop Jingrui’s badass backstory

And why he has the name and surname of a prince

I do wonder what its like, for jingrui. Like sure, hes son of two families... but heir of neither? He’s the oldest child but hes also known his whole life that he wont inherit the title. 

idk must be weird

hes incredibly good natured given all that shit

Lin Shu gege just humouring them by listening to a story that hes totally never head before /s

if only they had a dna test

Who’s My Daddy™ ancient fantasy china

ghufdghuisrgu Mu Qing u cant just SAY that

Update: Mu Qing has kidnapped sir Su

OMG

HES ENTERING THE ROYAL COURT

I REPEAT LIN SHU/MEI CHANGSU IS ENTERING THE COURT

i need to just-

the fkn music man

i die

Like i said the first time, i didnt know the full scope of the big deal but i KNEW. that this was it

These were the stakes. All the way up to the emperor

theres gon be some PARALLELS

“You no longer need to refer to yourself as a commoner”

oof

(i would like to say now that i love Liyang

like, A Lot

Second only to Nihuang)

LMAO mcs giving the crown prince a subtle head shake

His POWER

This ep ends on Baili Qi beating the absolute fuck out of Jingrui while Su-xiansheng just peels and eats an orange smirks like the absolute shit he is

like a beyblade

I’m going to stop putting links in these bc i know tumblr doesnt like them, but ill keep up the tagging. I might not get to one ep a day, but every couple of days or so seems doable! i just love dumping my train of thoughts into walls of text :D

TTFN

[arlingtonpark]

SNK 130 Review

For the first time, thanks to this chapter, SNK is more popular than Domestic Na Kanojo, a manga about a love triangle between a dude and his step-sisters, one of whom is his teacher.

We did it fam. Mission accomplished.

I feel like the scenario where the outside world and Paradis are kept apart with Paradis threatening to rumble the world if there’s any interference is something of an equilibrium point.

They say that nature has a balance to it. A natural rhythm that it follows on its own.

Predators hunt prey, so naturally there are less predators than prey, lest the prey population be wiped out. When predators are too many and prey is too few, the lack of food causes predators to leave the area or die off, which prompts the prey population to rebound.

So there’s a certain point at which things balance out. This is an equilibrium.

Social situations are like that too.  

People have desires and preferences, and in a social situation, a dynamic will form that satisfies as much of those desires as possible.

Because the equilibrium point is the state of affairs at which as many people as possible are satisfied, in the long term any disruption to that equilibrium will be corrected.

Not because of magic or anything, but just because it’s the scenario that most people prefer, so the state of affairs will trend towards it over time.

This is a really long way of saying that I think that some variation on the King Fritz scenario is the best outcome everyone can hope for.

Everyone gets to live and go about their lives.

The downside is that there’ll always be an undercurrent of resentment. And, oh yeah, becoming titans and eating children is necessary to make the wall titans work as a threat. That’s bad, but a natural balance isn’t a utopia.

It’s a testament to how much the SNK world sucks that *this* is the outcome that allows the most people to be happy.

Rape, parents eating children, all of it indefinitely.

That’s one of the most frustrating things about this chapter.

Just…what even is the message of this story anymore?

Attack on Titan is a series about freedom and striving for freedom. Eren has embodied that struggle the whole time.

But now?

Eren is a lunatic who’s about to crush the whole world.

The Cringevengers are fighting for freedom, but not their own. Stopping Eren will only open a pathway for the world to retaliate against Paradis for the failed rumbling. Their mission is one of self-destruction.

That’s noble, but it’s looking more and more like the cringevengers are going to lose. They’re physically and mentally exhausted, and they don’t really have much personal stake in this anymore.

So I guess we’re heading for an ending where Eren destroys the world.

If that’s the case, then…what’s the message?

Is this a tragedy?

Tragedies are about characters failing to rise above their flaws, but they’re also supposed to be constructive.

Tragedies work when they show the audience that a happy ending could have happened but for the character’s flaws.

Romeo and Juliet could have lived if it weren’t for their feuding families, for example. The story ended sadly, but there was a clear path to a happy ending.

What is the path forward in Attack on Titan?

The Marleyans are shit. They’re racist colonialists out to dominate the world. They coral Eldians into camps, use them as weapons, and want to build a global empire. Their long term motivation is to preserve their global dominance.

Eren is a lunatic. ‘Nuff said.

The Cringevengers have the moral high ground, but…if they win, the Eldians still die. So…go Cringevengers?

Who is the hero of this story right now?

Which path is the right one?

What is even the message anymore?

The answer is that there is none.

The situation is clearly designed to make this outcome inevitable.

The world is going down this bad path because almost everyone has the same flaw: they are willing to kill people for the sake of their own prejudices.

If only a couple of characters had that flaw, this would be fine, but making this flaw so widespread makes it seem that humans in general are like this, and that’s wrong.

Most people are not like this.

I think the fact that humanity has not self-immolated yet speaks for itself.

I don’t know what’s going on in Isayama’s mind, but I wonder if maybe he’s a bit paranoid about tensions between Japan, and China, and the Koreas.

The possible social commentary in SNK is always interesting to think about, but I’m just going to skip over that here.

…

Ugh, I guess I have to talk about the pregnancy now.

So first off, my starting point when thinking about the pregnancy is that whatever happened, it didn’t involve rape.

That’s maybe something we shouldn’t assume, but I don’t think Isayama will cross that line. Having Historia go through that trauma for basically no reason is viscerally disgusting and I trust that Isayama knows that.

Attack on Titan is ostensibly about freedom; being forced to carry a child to term is not that.

Clearly.

So I take it as a given that there was no rape.

Once you do that, thinking about the pregnancy becomes much simpler.

There are really only two possible explanations:

1. That Historia fell in love with a man, decided to have a family…and that Isayama is playing up the possibility of rape for shock value.

Or.

2. The pregnancy is somehow fake.

So which is more believable?

Honestly, I lean towards (1), though I’d prefer it be fake.

Before this chapter came out, I never felt it was likely the pregnancy was fake. There was an aura of suspicion around it, but that doesn’t prove much.

We know the pregnancy was inexplicably advantageous to Zeke, and we know that Eren and Historia were up to something right before Eren disappeared.

Isayama is clearly hiding something, but a fake pregnancy specifically?

I see no reason why it would be that and not, say, a secret romance.

That’s what really scares me though.

Most people can explain why callous depictions of rape are bad. The number of people who can explain why callous depictions of queer people are bad is much smaller.

I ship yumikuri. In fact, it’s one of the few pairs I ship.

So call me biased if you want, but the bottom line is that Ymir explicitly loved Historia, and most people would at least say Historia might have reciprocated. I personally would say she definitely did.

Ymir loved Historia.

She loved her enough to reach out to her and try to save her from her own fate.

Enough to jump from the tower and fight off the titans.

Enough to make Bertolt and Reiner turn back to get her.

Ymir did all this because she loved Historia.

But Isayama, it seems, wrote it into his story that Ymir loved Historia just to move the plot forward.

And once Ymir’s purpose as a character was fulfilled, she was removed from the story and killed off screen.

That’s a really shitty thing to do.

Establishing a queer romance just so the characters have motivation to go from Point A to B and nothing more is fucking low.

It’s cheap as hell.

It’s offensive.

But, I have to point out, not as offensive as a rape victim carrying their child to term.

I think that’s important to keep in mind.

People have written about women’s rights for centuries. Those principles are well established, if not always followed.

Gay rights just aren’t.

Most people can tell you why reducing rape to cheap drama is bad; most people cannot tell you why reducing lesbian romance to a plot device is bad.

(The answer is that they both trivialize their subjects, albeit in slightly different ways.)

I bring this up because I think people underestimate the chances that in-universe Historia is pregnant because she wants to be pregnant.

We can infer from what we know that Historia is pregnant because it’s part of a plan to help Zeke or Paradis, but we can also infer that this is not exactly the case.

It’s not directly established that Historia is pregnant because of Paradis’ or Zeke’s machinations. All we know is that these people were plotting to use her to make babies. We haven’t seen the point where she was roped into those schemes.

So I don’t think it can be discounted that Isayama plans to pair Historia up with a guy, most likely either Eren or Farm boy. Unfortunately.

Gay people don’t have many allies in this world. Unfortunately, that means Isayama is likely to *not* be one of those allies.

SNK’s record of depicting gay relationships speaks for itself.

That was all what I thought before this chapter came out.

I still think that.

So.

Now I guess I have to talk about Historia in this chapter now.

So Historia’s scene opens with her having resigned herself to a future of rape and Eren telling her she’s a human being who has rights.

…

……

I almost can’t bring myself to talk about this.

You know, back when Attack on Titan first become popular, it got a lot of praise for how feminist it was.

It was a post-apocalyptic survival horror show, and it really stood out how many prominent women there were.

Hange, Annie, Mikasa, Sasha, Historia, Rico. These people saw real action and had real characters, and a lot of people appreciated that.

Yep.

Good times. Good times.

How did we get here?

What happened?

Historia’s character is all about agency.

She wanted to end her life because she thought she was a burden. In the cavern she was prepared to take on the same burden she’s taking on right now, but she chose to live for herself.

She saved herself from that fate.

She rejected her family’s burden and chose to forge her own path.

Now it’s like that never happened.

She’s back to killing herself for everyone else’s sake, except now she’s also a damsel who needs Eren to save her.

So Eren reveals his plan to her, and she’s totally distraught over it. She tries to reason with him, and Eren just glares at her like she’s Reiner or something.

Finally we get to the most eyebrow raising moment in this exchange: when Historia invokes Ymir to justify opposing Eren.

I think Ymir is supposed to be seen as a tragic figure in Attack on Titan.

She didn’t have to take the fall for those Eldian cultists. They plucked her out of nowhere and randomly decided to worship her. She didn’t ask for any of this trouble.

But regardless, she took the fall for them.

When she got a new lease on life, she chose to live for herself. She’d put herself before everyone else for a change. She’d let no one else’s fate decide her’s.

But it never turned out that way.

I think Ymir’s tragic flaw is that she cares too much for her own good.

She was always going out of her way for others and doing more than she needed to. Helping Connie, helping Historia, helping Reiner and Bertolt.

Her enemies.

Ymir is a good person at heart, and that’s not bad, but according to Attack on Titan’s morality, being “good” to the point of self-sacrifice is bad.

I think one of the morals of Attack on Titan is that if you sacrifice yourself for other people’s sake……you end up sacrificing yourself.

Ymir could have left Reiner and Bertolt to their fates and returned to the walls. She could have lived a happy life with her friends and the girl she loved.

But she didn’t.

She knew that returning to Marley would mean death for her, and guessed what happened?

She did the thing that would likely kill her and she was killed.

Ymir couldn’t help but be a “good girl” and for that she was punished.

Thus endeth the tragedy of Ymir.

Now we come to Historia.

“If I don’t do everything in my power to stop you, I can’t live with my head held high!”

Historia is using Ymir’s words, but she’s actually betraying Ymir right now.

Ymir meant those words in the sense of living for yourself and not others. In the sense of not being self-sacrificial.

As far as Historia is concerned, in her current situation, she only has two options.

Let them rape her for the sake of her people, or let Eren destroy the world.

That’s it.

As far as Historia is concerned, to oppose Eren is to tacitly support the rape option.

So Historia is using Ymir’s words, but really it’s an insult because she’s using them to defend what Ymir would have hated.

Her self-sacrifice.

One thing that’s interesting about Attack on Titan is what it says about standing up for yourself.

In the story, not being self-sacrificial ironically requires you to make sacrifices.

If Ymir had not helped Reiner and Bertolt, they would have been in a lot more trouble with Marley. In a way, if she had not gone with them, she would have been sacrificing them, in the sense that she would have been throwing them under the bus.

When Historia chooses to live for herself in the cavern, she screams about how she’ll happily throw humanity under the bus if it means saving herself.

That’s why she calls herself “the worst girl in history.”

As opposed to Krista, who is a “good girl.”

I think that’s what Isayama is going for here.

Krista is the “good girl” who’ll gladly take a bullet for you.

Historia is the “bad girl” who’ll gladly throw you overboard if it meant she didn’t have to debase herself.

Yeah, Historia later claimed she was in the moment when she said that, but that doesn’t mean much.

When you’re in the heat of the moment, and you’re acting on pure instinct, you’re likelier to reveal parts of yourself you wouldn’t otherwise.

Being in the moment doesn’t mean Historia doesn’t identify with what she said, it means she was speaking her mind with no filter.

In 130, Historia and Eren are superficially at odds with each other, but deep down Historia thinks Eren is right.

She doesn’t want to sacrifice herself, and I’m sure she feels she shouldn’t have to, just on principle.

The only reason she accepts this fate is because she feels she has to.

So when Eren asks Historia to not oppose him, and she refuses, he tells her she has it in her to do it because she’s “the worst girl in history.”

I think Historia is the kind of person who’d throw you under the bus if she knew it’d save what she values most: her friends, yes, but also herself.

But Historia is acting more like Krista, someone who’d throw their life away to save yours.

Eren is saying she needs to start acting like herself again.

He’s trying to remind Historia of who she is and what she used to think was most important to her.

(This scene is *so* misogynistic. I’m going to puke.)

The flashbacks in this chapter were presented as vignettes, so it’s hard to say how Eren’s scene with Historia ended.

One thing that stood out to me though was the clear through line that connected all the various scenes.

The first one is Eren talking to Yelena about Zeke’s plan.

Next scene is Eren and Floch talking about the real plan.

Then it’s Eren and Historia talking about the plan.

Then back to Eren and Floch for Eren’s reveal of what he’s really doing.

Back to Historia as Eren tries to win her over.

Then we cut to Zeke and Eren talking about Mikasa.

Finally, we go back to Historia.

This flow is important because we don’t know much about Eren’s talk with Historia, but I think we can tease out some clues based on what scenes we see when.

Historia is put on the spot. Eren has revealed his plan, and she opposes it. They argue back and forth, and we reach a point where Historia is at a loss for words, and doesn’t seem to know what to do.

Then we inexplicably cut to a conversation between Zeke and Eren.

A conversation about loyalty, affection, and standing by your friends.

The implications for what this hints at are huge.

Eren asks Zeke if Mikasa cares about him so much because of some Ackermann genetics.

Zeke replies there’s no proof of that, and Mikasa probably just loves him.

Finally, Historia speaks, and she asks Eren about getting pregnant.

She doesn’t go to such great lengths for Eren because she’s a slave!

She doesn’t subject herself to this because she’s being coerced!!

It’s because she  L O V E S  him ! ! !

Fuck this! Fuck me! Fuck everything!

[nokomiss]

deadtedkord replied to your post “taking prompts!”

more excellent jaysteph bonding please you're stuff for them is amazing!!

Even in Gotham, it’s hard to get takeout at 4am.  

So after a particularly grueling night fighting crime -- not Arkham-escape bad, but involving the Condiment King teaming up with Mad Hatter for easily one of the grossest in every imaginable way nights Steph could remember -- the troops all ended up at the Cave, fighting over who got into the showers first. The troops in question being Bruce, Damian, Tim, Jason and herself. Steph saw the writing on the wall immediately and booked it up stairs to shower in luxury before Bruce could complain about ketchup in his fancypants rich people showers.

After convincing herself that she couldn’t, actually, just live in the bathroom at Wayne Manor for the rest of her life, Steph reluctantly got out, wondering if she could convince Bruce that installing the same shower at her decidedly less luxurious home was actually a necessary crime fighting expense. The water pressure alone had relieved a few lingering muscle aches she’d been nursing a few days.  

She ransacked various rooms for a new, mustard-free outfit -- she had clothes stashed away somewhere, but everyone knew other people’s clothes are far superior, especially when they were Selina’s yoga pants, which she was never returning because damn they were amazing, Cass’ fuzzy socks and Tim’s softest hoodie.

By the time she returned to the cave, smelling like coconut and feeling like a champ, the boys had managed to clean themselves up and were bickering about food.

“I got Stromboli’s to deliver at 3 last week,” Damian was insisting, even though the Batcomputer clearly showed that they were closed.

“Maybe we could bribe someone at Batburger? They’re open all night,” Tim suggested, sounding doubtful about the prospect.

“There’s food here,” Steph suggested, because she, too, was starving.

Silence for a moment, then Bruce said, in a voice that almost sounded sheepish, “Alfred isn’t here.”

Steph felt a little bad about the smears of ketchup she’d undoubtedly left in the bathroom. “Did he… did he take the kitchen with him?”

“Pennyworth is the only one permitted to use the kitchen,” Damian said loftily while also not looking at anyone directly.

“Yeah, but… we’re hungry,” Steph pointed out.

“They don’t know how to cook,” Tim said, gesturing towards Bruce and Damian. “They’re really bad at it.”

“Like you’re any better,” Damian snapped. “Remember when you set the microwave on fire?”

“I didn’t realize there was still a spoon in the bowl!” The tops of Tim’s ears were turning bright red.

Steph looked at the only person in the room not howling about their own ineptitude in the kitchen. “Please tell me you’re not as useless as they are.”

“I’m insulted that you would think I am,” Jason replied. “I certainly didn’t grow up with a butler.”

Steph sighed, and said, “Wanna go make some food?”

Jason looked at the other three, who were suddenly very focused on writing the night’s mission report. “If it means we’re done with the paperwork, yeah.”

So she climbed the steps to up to the manor for the second time that night, and when she entered the kitchen she suddenly understood the silence and sheepish looks.

“I have seen active crime scenes less disastrous than this kitchen,” Jason said with an awed tone.

“How long has Alfred been gone? A year?” Steph said, staring. “And the question is, is he ever gonna return if he knows this is waiting on him?”

 “Probably he will, but he’ll finally snap and murder them all in a dishes-fueled rage,” Jason said, poking at the mountain of dirty china piled haphazardly in and around the sink.  He poked at a dish. “I’m pretty sure someone ate Spaghetti-Os out of fine china. Is this a real silver spoon?”

The spoon in question had curdled milk clinging to it.

“Okay so ten minutes ago, I would have told you there was no way anything could be grosser than Mad Hatter flopping around in a pool of mayonnaise,” Steph said, “but oh, how I have been proven wrong.”

“How do they even function as human beings?” Jason wondered. “Was it always this bad? I mean, I lived here. I know Bruce is an absolute moron in the kitchen. But…”  He looked around. “Wow.”

“Do you suddenly feel so much better about yourself as a person?” Steph said. “Because I gotta say. Really feeling good about myself right now.”

Jason offered a hand to high five, and Steph did, happily. They rummaged through the pantry side-by-side and found that the staples were still intact, though anything ready-made had been ransacked.  The fridge offered up similar bounty -- takeout leftovers of questionable providence, some wilting produce, and basics.  

“Pancakes?” Steph suggested once she saw the state of the waffle iron -- had someone tried to make a grilled cheese on it? -- and pulled out the dry ingredients. “I’m not willing to eat anything that requires a condiment right now.”  Thankfully maple syrup had not been one of Condiment King’s weapons of choice.

“I’ll make eggs,” Jason said, pulling out a carton. “And there’s some fake bacon of Damian’s.”

“We are a breakfast-making machine,” Steph said. It was true, too -- away from the chaos of crime fighting, she found that working alongside Jason in the kitchen was surprisingly easy. Steph stared at the sink again, and said, “I think that it’s time that certain vigilantes learned the domestic arts.”

“Yeah, we can’t let Alfred come back to this,” Jason said. “He’s too valuable. If he quit--”

“We’d never have his cookies ever again,” Steph said in horror. 

“Maybe we could steal Alfred,” Jason said after a pause. “Like, let nature take its course, then swoop in and take Alfred for our own.”

“Share custody of him,” Steph said, nodding. “We could put him on a rotating schedule, and give him days off, and… I don’t know. Let him join a book club, instead of spending all his time with these disasters.”

They spent a few moments in quiet contemplation of a life where Alfred showed up and made creme brulee at any hour of the day.  Then Steph sighed, giving the pancake batter one last stir before letting it sit and moving to the stove, clearing off several crystal goblets with what looked like coffee dregs in them before finding a griddle.  “There’s only one flaw with our plan.”

“The thing where Alfred loves Bruce like a son and would never abandon him to die alone and hungry in his filthy mansion?” Jason flipped the fake bacon.

“That’s the one,” Steph said, deciding the griddle was hot enough and spooning pancake batter onto it in cute little shapes. She thought that Damian’s should be hearts, and she experimented with bat-shapes for Bruce. 

Jason peered over and saw what she was doing. “I want stars.”

“Of course you do,” Steph said, though she tried to make one as soon as Damian’s hearts were done. It turned out a little wonky, but still recognizable. She was awesome. “Gotta be difficult, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Jason replied, cracking eggs into a bowl.  He glanced at the kitchen door. “Are they hiding in the cave in shame?”

“Like, it’s wrong, but the fact that I think they are makes me really happy,” Steph said. “Like, kind of makes up for all those times they acted like I was a moron for not knowing something.”

“Right?” Jason said. 

“I mean, how do you master dozens of different kinds of kung fu, but never once master the grilled cheese? I was making my own grilled cheese in kindergarten!”

“There are only three ingredients,” Jason agreed. “It’s a true embarrassment.”

“We should nominate him for Worst Cooks In America,” Steph said. “I really want to see Bruce on reality television, and that would be comedy gold.”

“Just seeing him get an invitation to be one of the worst of anything would be fucking amazing,” Jason said. “Like, congratulations, sir, you suck at this.”

“You suck so hard we want to feature you on television,” Steph snickered.  She flipped the last of Bruce’s pancakes onto a plate before they burned, and began making Tim’s. She tried to make a coffee mug shape, but it turned out looking like a blob, so she made teddy bears instead.  

“I mean, I kind of get why they’re so terrible at it,” Steph said, “given their upbringings. But I would have literally starved if I hadn’t figured out how to cook early on. Takeout was not an option.”

“Right? Only for special occasions,” Jason said. “The rest of the time, you had to make shit yourself.”

“Exactly,” Steph nodded. They didn’t really talk much about how they were the ones in the family who’d grown up poor, who’d spent a lot of time raising themselves because their parents hadn’t been capable of it. She knew it was why Bruce had compared them so much -- there was a startling amount of similarities between their childhoods, from their mothers’ drug problems to their fathers’ criminal inclinations -- and for once, it felt nice to be the ones with the necessary skills while everyone else floundered. 

They grinned at each other, then put the last of the food onto the plates.  Steph grabbed the maple syrup, and stopped short, staring at the calendar on the fridge. “Four days!”

“What?” Jason said through a mouthful of fake bacon.

“Alfred has only been gone four days,” Steph said, pointing to the note on the fridge, “and he left prepared meals.”  

They gazed in wonder at the chaos around them. 

“He’s going to be back tomorrow,” Jason said suddenly, pointing.  

“Okay, so we feed the troops, then we start Mission: Learn to Do the Damn Dishes,” Steph said. Sleep was for the weak. 

“Yes, ma’am,” Jason said, and followed her to the breakfast nook, setting down Tim and Damian’s plates and going back for the rest. “Wanna tell them now?”

“Let them have a final meal first,” Steph said. “Then we’ll light a fire under them.”

Jason grinned. By the time Bruce, Tim and Damian came out of the Cave, she and Jason had polished off half of their meal, and Steph had to admit that delivering a lecture to Batman about chores was one of the highlights of her week.  Possibly the entire month.

It took until dawn, but Alfred came home to a kitchen that no longer looked like it had witnessed the collapse of civilization.