#I see people who’s brains were hit so hard they don’t have the ability to read up close because their eyes can’t form one image anymore

[nocturneofrecollection]

I think mostly car culture but also the internet has irreparably stunted people’s ability and care to drive well it’s insane how many people will openly brag about being a dangerous driver like it’s fun and quirky and not something that gets people killed in the thousands every year. Some laws are unjust but i promise you distracted driving and speeding laws are there for a reason not just to make your day a teeeeny bit harder

[mangekyuou]

May I request separately for luffy and/or shanks where they are fighting strong opponent with a teleportation ability and when they were about to land the final hit they teleport the reader(female) and take the full hit whether they survive or not ill leave it to you.Feel free to ignore this and love your writing ❤❤

✸  headcanons  %  when they accidentally hurt you.

✸    characters! . . .  luffy & shanks.

✸    cw(s)! . . .  mentions of violence, blood, wounds, death(?). no pronouns used. not proofread.

✸    notes! . . .  i wanted to try to keep the endings ambiguous...don’t think i did a good job on that though. i don’t write angst that much anymore, so this itched a spot in my brain, thank you for that <3333 thank you so much for requesting !!

the fight was finally drawing to its close. his opponent was out of breath, stumbling back and forth, struggling to stay on their feet. luffy cocked his fist back, coating it with haki

this was the final hit, he was going to give it his all. he charged, but he failed to see the devilish grin written on his opponent’s features

as he threw the punch, a brief flash of colors appeared before him. emerging from the colors was you

he’d never ever forget that look of horror on your face, as the both of you realized what was happening

he couldn’t stop himself. his fist just barely collided with your abdomen, sending you meters away, hitting the hard ground with a loud thud

guilt immediately consumes him

he’s shaking, unable to even move from the spot he was in. the world around him goes silent. he only sees you on the ground on your side, not moving

he fears the worst. he didn’t...he couldn’t have...could he?

after what feels like forever, he takes one step...then another...then another. his vision blurring with tears

he had dropped to his knees, flipping you on your back when he finally sees the blood trickling from the corner of your mouth

he presses his ear against your chest, looking for the sound of your beating heart. it was fleeting 

if he wasn’t panicked already, he was genuinely panicked now. he picks you up and shakes you, screaming your name

you have to get up. you NEED to get up

he can’t lose you too. he’s screaming to chopper. he HAS to save you. you can’t die on him, not like this

through his tears he’s reminding you of the promises that you made to him

most importantly, the assurance that you would be by his side until the very end

your eyes flutter open. the first thing you see is him over you, tears flooding his cheeks, he is absolutely devastated

through your pain you try to give him a small smile. if this was truly the end, there was something you wanted him to know. but it was so painful to speak 

“i...love...” you could only mutter the two words, using the last bit of your strength to pick up your shaky hand, pressing the tip of your pointer finger to his chest, where his heart rested

“i love you too” he whispered holding onto your hand, closing his eyes tightly

shanks is a dangerous man whose full potential is still unknown to most people. including his current opponent, he had just had enough of

it wasn’t often shanks had gotten so mad to the point of starting a fight. but they had involved you. he didn’t care if they bothered him, but you were another story

and they were definitely learning this from the beatdown they were receiving from him

“shanks, that’s enough. i’m fine” you grabbed his arm, trying to stop him. this was going way further than you wanted it to. you didn’t wish for shanks to get himself into any more trouble behind you

but he wasn’t hearing any of it. he wasn’t finished, shrugging you off and looking back to his opponent, who had finally climbed to their feet. something about the sly grin on their face alarmed shanks

they had something up their sleeve, but he wasn’t sure what it was. that is what worried him

he couldn’t allow whatever it was they had planned to happen. he was going to end this now. with his sword, he charged. but they had not moved, instead welcoming his attack

as the sharp tip of the sword had nearly touched them, a sudden flash of colors passed him by. now in front of him was you, pierced by his sword

shock overtook you, looking down at your abdomen and seeing your lover’s sword through you, all the way through your back

the rest of the red hair pirates screams of your name had not reached your ears. you could not hear them, focused on the blade that you were sure had punctured something on the inside

you don’t know what happened. shanks didn’t know what happened

he was trying his best not to panic on the outside, knowing everyone is awaiting his orders. on the inside, he’s terrified, he’s blaming himself

he wished he had listened to you. then this would have never happened

you weren’t thinking rationally, it was hard to after being stabbed. you had pulled yourself off of the blade, holding the open wound still in shock

shanks had dropped his sword, allowing you to fall into his embrace. he finally finds the voice to bark out orders, telling the others to grab the teleporting bastard and yelling for hongo to go grab his equipment to help you

he slowly settles on the ground with you. he fumbles around, trying to apply pressure to the wound to try to stop the bleeding. the blood that is seeping through your shirt is becoming harder and harder to ignore

you had begun to take long blinks

“hey, stay with me, okay? keep your eyes open...please. you’re going to be okay” though his words were for you, they were also for him. 

he needed to give himself hope, to convince himself that everything was going to be okay, that you would be okay. even if he could feel you fading away underneath him

© MANGEKYUOU.

[kamianya-ttv]

You’re not lazy, you’re neurodivergent:

A post on executive dysfunction, ADHD inattentiveness and hyperfocus, and whatever else occurred to me as related as I originally wrote this for twitter.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been called lazy by people in your life. But the thing is, there’s almost no-one (if anyone) who’s actually lazy. And I promise you, if you’ve felt guilty because there are things you should be doing and can’t get them done? You are NOT lazy.

I'll get to executive dysfunction, the main focus of this thread in a moment. Because I want to start by talking about ADHD and hyperfocus.

Is it hard for you to pay attention to things you don't enjoy, but can focus for hours on things you do?

Does the world ever disappear to the point you forget to eat/drink while you're working? Can you suddenly get days worth of work done in a short amount of time, but only once it's the last minute, or when you get into the zone? But you don't necessarily have control over getting into that mode?

Hyperfocus

The reason this is related to this thread is that often this is the "proof" that you're lazy. Look, if you're interested you get things done! Look at how much you can do when you "just make yourself" or "just focus"! Clearly you just don't want to do the thing.

I can't tell you how many days I've sat there trying to get into a zone that's eluding me, losing sleep and feeling guilty, just to finally hyperfocus in the final day and pull out a miracle.

But I have ZERO ability to force it (I have tricks! but it's not the same).

Hyperfocus often gets brought up as a "you can't have ADHD, look how focus on the things you enjoy! Look what happens when you do focus!"

But actually, it's a major aspect of inattentive ADHD!

So, that's why hyperfocus matters in this convo.

Now onto Executive Dysfunction.

To start with, a quick note: Executive dysfucntion is not just an ADHD thing. It's an aspect of a lot of different neurodivergencies.

Also, this is primarily from my perspective as a person with ADHD, I'd love to hear your versions of these experiences!)

I like to describe executive dysfunction as "the start button isn't there."

Also, this isn't just for chores or boring things.

Have you ever sat there going "I want to game" but it just never happens?

I sure have!

When you have executive dysfunction, this means that starting tasks can be near impossible. You just can't get yourself to start it. Often, you may sit there staring at the document with the blinking cursor, or looking at the stove, or glancing at the full laundry basket, etc

But again, there's no start button. You just can't do the thing. Which makes it really hard when people tell you to just focus, or that you could do it if you just cared, or that you're just lazy.

Because we want to do the thing! We do!

(I mean, okay, want may be a strong word sometimes, I never WANT to do chores, but it's still not an intentional putting it off. It's more an "I need to do this thing, I know I need to, I want it to be done, but I can't get myself to do it")

Now for me, and many with ADHD, once someone points out you haven't done the thing, or when the deadline comes close, suddenly the start button appears

Which again, people use as proof you totally could have done the thing the whole time.

So clearly you were just lazy & are only doing it cause you got yelled at/prodded/nagged.

But this isn't true, there was no start button!

@adhd-alien has a PERFECT comic on this: https://twitter.com/ADHD_Alien/status/1138475368191598594

Now, we learn tricks to deal with this. Or meds may help.

For me, I find ways to enforce outside deadlines, or I'm more likely to have. a start button for something I'm doing with/for other people.

But ultimately, our brains just don't work the same.

So for someone where the start buttons are always there, who assumes everyone is the same as them, it looks like we're actively making the choice not to hit start.

So they call us lazy, unable to see us desperately trying to hit a button that's just. Not. There.

Now, add on to this all the other comorbidities that come with neurodivergency, we almost never have just one thing. Add on physical disabilities or chronic/invisible illnesses or chronic pain or fatigue.

All of these make it so much harder.

There are SO many things that affect our abilities to get things done.

For example, I had a doctor appointment four days in a row (OT, neurologist, OT, infusion). I also helped schedule an event, and did a stream.

Before MS and chronic pain that would be nothing.

I could have done SO much more, filled my days with getting things done.

Now? I'm spending today on the couch, recovering before my stream tonight.

And I have to fight so much guilt, because I feel like I should be doing more. But my body just CAN'T.

So.

Do you feel guilty, but you just can't start the thing?

Is there no start button?

Are you exhausted and your body is insisting you rest?

There are so many things that affect our ability to do things.

Brains, bodies, the world we live in.

But you're not lazy.

[wsdanon]

i feel like this will be quite niche, mostly because i'm not sure how many ordem fans are in my sphere but also because it's not about the main cast lol

but below the cut is an osnf fic \o/! many spoilers for that season. it's based on a canon divergent au me and @factorialsotherfandoms came up with and this one in particular involves the helper and the gatekeeper!

also below the cut for anyone who hasn't seen ordem but is curious about the fic is a brief summary of some world-building elements that will help with understanding the fic \o/ but not the plot because that will take too long lol

reblogs appreciated \o/!! hope you guys enjoy

brief worldbuilding stuff: the helper and the gatekeeper are from a town called santo berço which was a seemingly perfect town apart from the fact that the people are brainwashed to some degree into wanting to stay there and there's a parasite (the saint/a god) feeding on some of them. everyone in the town uses their work titles as their names, and they have an alien-ish appearance (Luzidio) but can switch into a human appearance (Ignaro) at will. the crystals mentioned are healing crystals that have the ability to knock people out if ingested. i can't explain buttery butter. blame felps for this creation

--

The Helper stands in front of the mirror, his Ignaro form staring back. Technically he doesn’t need to be in it right now, but he’ll need to get used to it eventually, so… he’s practicing. 

The eyes are maybe the strangest bit about it. They feel smaller. The familiar blackness now shrunk down and encased by other colours—brown and white. 

He leans closer to the mirror and pokes at his cheek where his markings would be. Maybe if he looks close enough he’ll still be able to see the faint shadow of them—

“Why are you acting like it’s new?” The Gatekeeper says. “You’ve seen this form before.” 

The Helper jumps at the sudden appearance of his voice, and spins around to face him. He doesn’t like having people behind him anymore—an alien distrust crawling through his body at even the thought of it. 

“I know, I’m just… getting used to it. You know?” He shrugs, and tries to force himself to relax. “I never used to use it much before, but now it’s going to be pretty much constant, right?”

“That’s true.” 

Cautiously, the Gatekeeper drifts closer. They don’t have the crystals anymore, and he’s not holding a weapon so it should be fine. 

Really, he wishes his brain would stop thinking so hard about it. He’s one of the few people who actually managed to survive and that was because of the Gatekeeper. 

It’s just… 

It’s hard to put the memory out of his mind of the Gatekeeper approaching him with a knife and wrestling crystals into his mouth.

“It is strange.” The Gatekeeper admits with a small smile as he stops close in front of him. “I only ever saw you like this when we were messing around.”

“And you went on lots of Pilgrimages, right?” The Helper says, knocking their shoulders together gently with a smile that doesn’t quite feel real crossing his face. He doesn’t like it, but no attempts at widening the smile make it feel realer. “So you’re probably dealing fine, huh?” 

“Eh…” The Gatekeeper shrugs. “With this, yeah.” 

He’s in his Luzidio form now. It’s nice. A tiny bit of familiarity to cling onto. 

“What if we lose it?” The Gatekeeper continues, something nervous seeping into his tone. 

“What?” The Helper tilts his head, eyebrows furrowing. “What do you mean?” 

“This form.” He points to himself. “We only had this because of the Saint’s influence. What if we lose it now?” 

“Well, we—“ He cuts himself off as the full implications hit him, a hollow feeling settling into his chest. It’s uncomfortable. He never used to feel this way in Santo Berço, but now it’s almost all he can feel. “We—We get used to it, I guess.” 

The Gatekeeper reaches a hand up—slowly, but the Helper can’t help but flinch away a little. All he does, though, is settle it onto his cheek. Doesn’t try to pry his mouth open. Doesn’t try to force the anaesthesia down his throat. 

“You should, uh…” The Gatekeeper shifts his thumb to line up with where the Helper’s markings would be. Presses down firmly, but not enough to hurt. “You should get them tattooed.”

“Okay.” This smile feels a little more real. “Would you?”

“Ah, maybe.” He shrugs. “I’m still not… sure how I feel about, uh, all of it.” 

“I like them.” The Helper brings a finger up to trace down one before letting it drop to his side again. “I’d miss them.”

“O-Okay.” The Gatekeeper looks away, his cheeks darkening. “Maybe for you, then.”

The Helper frowns. He misses Santo Berço. Misses the simplicity of it. Everything out here just feels like a mess—the selfish desire to keep at least one thing the same, versus the guilt of forcing the Gatekeeper to do something he doesn’t particularly want to do. 

“Only if it’s for you, too.” He tries another smile. “From what you’ve said, it sounds like it’s about time you do things for yourself, hm?” 

The Gatekeeper is still cupping his cheek, so he can feel the moment his hands start shaking. He wonders if they shook when he spilled his blood to fake his death. 

“I…” His voice cracks. He drops his hand from the Helper’s face so he can wrap him in a tight hug instead. “I’m so glad you’re here. My god, I’m so glad you’re here, Helper, I… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

The Helper hugs him back.

“It’s okay. Everything’s okay now.”

For a while they stand there. The Gatekeeper isn’t quite crying, but he is trembling in the Helper’s arms—murmuring things that he can’t make out, but are probably apologies. 

When he pulls away he doesn’t go far. And he’s still trembling a little—his eyes shiny with unshed tears—but he seems more put together than he was a moment ago. 

“I’ll—I’ll figure out how to make buttery butter, okay?” The Gatekeeper promises. 

“Oh, how cool!” For the first time since they got here, a spark of excitement ignites in him. “We can all experiment together! I’m sure we’ll get it right eventually, you know?”

“Hopefully.” The Gatekeeper sends him a watery smile. “I just—I know how much you like it. You did always say it was the best part of Santo Berço.”

That was when he still had Santo Berço. When he didn’t have to miss it. But the sentiment is sweet, and he is clawing for any scrap of familiarity. 

For the Collector and the Nurse it isn’t so bad, he thinks. As much as they might miss it, they know what it’s like to live without it. All they’ll need is a readjustment period. 

The Gatekeeper is in his boat, but it’s different. He’s always hated Santo Berço—apparently. And he’s probably been on enough Pilgrimages to understand how the world outside is. 

“Thank you.” It’s worth being optimistic, though. “I think between the four of us we’ll get close!”

“We will.” The Gatekeeper declares—an intensity to him that the situation doesn’t really require. “I promise.”

They should maybe talk about that. The devotion he feels for them. 

The Helper knows the Nurse doesn’t like it. He’s aware of her wariness every time the Gatekeeper is around. But they all saw the fates of the people still connected to the Saint, and the Helper finds it difficult to hate his friend for his original plan. 

He doesn’t want to open up the discussion and find out she has a reason to still be worried, though. It’s a strange enough thing to know your friend would kill you to prevent your suffering. To not be able to shake the fear that came with the certainty you were about to die by his hands. 

He doesn’t want it to be made worse. He’s lost too much to lose the Gatekeeper now.

“Come on.” The Helper says, nudging the Gatekeeper into action. “The Nurse said you should be resting, and you know she knows what she’s talking about.” 

“If you could say that with less infatuation in your voice I’d be more inclined to believe you, you know?” The Gatekeeper says teasingly. “But you’re right—she’s right—I am tired. Maybe you could carry me?”

The Gatekeeper had collapsed when the Saint was killed. Dropped like a stone before any of them could catch him. It wasn’t as worrying as bursting into flames, but it was still terrifying. 

The Helper had carried him to safety. Held on tightly to him—almost afraid he’d disappear in front of him, just like his dad had. 

“Yeah, okay.” 

And then he scoops him up. 

It’s as easy to carry him as last time, but this time feels nicer. Less terrifying. Instead of being limp and unconscious in his arms, the Gatekeeper clings back to him immediately—his eyes widening in shock.

The Helper laughs. The Gatekeeper clearly wasn’t expecting the request to be taken seriously, but he doesn’t complain or ask to be put down and it’s—it’s nice. 

It’s a short walk to the spare room, but the Gatekeeper is already dozing off. He lays him down in bed gently, but the Gatekeeper grabs his arm before he can leave. 

“Wait, can you—can you stay?” He asks, his voice shaky with something the Helper would label as fear. “Please? Just until I fall asleep.”

“Okay.” 

He was going to wait up until the Nurse got back from her shift, but that won’t be for a few more hours. 

So, he gets into bed, but doesn’t lay down—unwilling to tempt sleep. Just sits there and lets the Gatekeeper curl up against him. It’s a bit of a tight fit, but he doesn’t mind. The closeness is nice, actually. 

“Goodnight.” He cards a hand through the Gatekeeper’s hair. Like this, it’s hard to imagine he could be capable of murder. “Sleep well.” 

“Thank you. Goodnight.” 

The Gatekeeper falls asleep quickly, but the Helper doesn’t leave yet. It’s peaceful. And it wouldn’t hurt to keep an eye on the Gatekeeper’s health. 

The Nurse had said he’ll probably need more time to recover than them, but she had also asked the Helper to tell her if he seemed to be getting worse. 

He was his dad’s assistant before the Blacksmith’s, after all. And while he definitely doesn’t have the knack for it that the Nurse does, he thinks he could at least figure out if she needs to reassess his condition. 

But the Gatekeeper seems fine for now, and he has a couple of hours to kill. So, he grabs the book on the bedside table that the Gatekeeper’s been reading through and starts reading it himself.

--

hope you guys enjoyed \o/!! i'm happy to talk more about the au's details if anyone's curious

[granulesofsand]

Ableism for DID

🗝️🏷️ I’m mad and wrote a short essay about it. Therapy goals, RAMCOA mentions, angry tone

It’s not good practice to be pushing integration the way people are. Not fusion, integration — memories, abilities, experiences. The treatment is still taking a system and forcing them close enough together to pass as a singlet.

Some systems probably need that, maybe if members aren’t being responsible with the body while out or flashbacks only stop by putting together pieces. But not every system will. Even communication across the system might not be a priority.

Integration does remove dissociative barriers, but it also risks flooding alters into one another when they really don’t want that. It should be thought out as much as any treatment goal, and having it as a standard only serves to undermine a clients authority over their own therapy.

Big System

The way we find out about system members is mostly exponential. I’m not convinced it ever ends, I think if you kept following alters who knew alters you would just end up overcrowded into the abyss.

We knew about 8 people the first time we thought we were done. It was 20 by the time we got through that sidesystem, not including their nested subsystems. When we learned about those, it went up to 40ish, then 60. We haven’t actually found everyone there yet, it goes pretty deep.

We were scared and excited when we found 100. That was a whole other sidesystem, plus a few from elsewhere. People kept logging until we hit 200, then 300. We only just decided to keep track of fragments, which is kind of nightmarish itself, and so far we have like 20 of them that are stable and take front often.

I know of several hundred fragments. Some are connected to alters, some are memory holders, some specific skills or traits unique to them. There is onegroup that are all shapeshifters, but they take the same form throughout so it’s hard to tell if it’s one alter with duplication abilities or like 30. We call them Omen, they are like our tornado sirens.

There are so many of them. We’re figuring out patterns and programs, so that’s been great and helpful. Getting to know everyone is huge, and it has dark sides. Not everyone knows they are a person, or that they are allowed to elaborate.

It takes a lot of faith on their part to take the leap and feel like themselves. We work on separation and healing with each person, and we don’t need more convincing that we aren’t. It was a big part of our trauma to not be a person, and some of it was based on our multiplicity. None of us could be a person, so none of us got human rights. That’s not okay.

Individuality

We have a lot of alter groups that are all elaborated. They all seem like full people, each with several hobbies and a life history and worldview that has changed throughout their existence. Sometimes subsystems are more part-like, but sometimes there are 5 iterations of a fractal and all of them are whole, solid people.

I know that we share a body. I know that we could have been one person, given better circumstances. But it still hasn’t been our experience that having a lot of us equals each of us having less. We use different parts of the brain differently, but we don’t literally occupy that space.

I don’t see why we can’t be individuals on the alter level. Integration, either of alters or of memories and skills, is such a priority for healing. We don’t see it that way. Our therapist doesn’t see it that way. Our boundaries between system members are largely the same as between our body and outsiders. It would be better for us if we could interact system member to singlet, but that would require us being seen as more than one.

It’s so much harder to get people to treat us as separate when the goal is to act like one person. We’ve been healing one-on-one in therapy, and we put memories together like authors of a book, restricted to those who need to see.

We don’t want to share memories or feel bad we don’t work like a singlet, because we’re not. And the size of our system doesn’t make us any less. It isn’t better than how singlets are, it just isn’t the same. It’s inherently a different experience, and forcing a system to function differently feels the same as when we had to put away our autism for allistics.

Stop making us bad for being different. Stop making us hide away the ugly. Stop forcing us into little boxes that we already know the whole group doesn’t fit, let alone a system with extensive trauma. Even without the trauma, it costs nothing but mental energy to treat us as we ask. If you can’t do that, don’t bother interacting with us at all.

TL;DR: systems/alters also deserve autonomy and the right to set boundaries. If that’s too hard, don’t be friends with that system.

[pedrito-friskito]

❤️‍🔥 could i please request:

❝  i would do anything for you.  all my lines and rules.  they mean nothing when it comes to you.  it’d cross and break them all just to make you happy.  ❞

❝  you need someone.  let me be that person.  let me be what you need.  ❞

with matt murdock? maybe a best friends to lovers situation

whatever nonnie wants, nonnie gets. ♥️

love me some yearning matt murdock!!!

🔥friday night fever!🔥

You never thought that being friends with Matt Murdock would be dangerous.

Sure, he’s dangerously attractive and he’s so quick-witted it gives you whiplash sometimes and he has this odd ability of knowing what you’re feeling and thinking before you even say anything, but he’s just a friend. You’re just friends. Period. Despite Foggy’s constant litany of jokes and comments that the two of you would look really sweet together, or Karen’s gentle prodding of are you sure you’re just friends? I see the way he looks at you.

Yes, it’s a little hard sometimes, because it’s hard to deny the attraction when there’s just something about him that draws you in, but you know better. Past experience has taught you well, and honestly, you don’t know if there’s anything that could be worth losing him. So, yes, just friends. And it’s enough.

But you never thought it would be dangerous.

They grabbed you on the street right outside your apartment, a cloth over your mouth and a thick arm around your throat. You didn’t have time to react, to even scream before the world went black, your body falling limp. You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you came to, but you woke in a damp room, a stained mattress on the floor, flickering lights buzzing overhead. Your hands were bound, stuffed into the corner of the room, and there were other people too. Other girls were packed into the room, some of them moaning and whimpering, all with their hands bound just like yours, rags tied around their heads, streaked makeup and ruddy faces looking back at you.

Definitely not good.

You try your best to stay alert, to figure out who took you, what they’re doing with you, how much time you have. They took your phone, obviously, and the other girls have the same or similar stories as you — taken outside their homes, drugged unconscious, woke up in the room. After a while, a few days of barely any food and paltry amounts of water, you’re starting to lose hope. This is your worst nightmare; you’ll never see your family again, never see your friends.

You’ll never see Matt again.

It aches, the feeling sitting high in your chest and leaving you shaking, the last dregs of hope in your heart sinking away with every moment that passes. You try to comfort some of the younger girls, but it doesn’t help much. You’re all feeling something similar, and with each day that comes and goes, every harsh word from your kidnappers, it’s more and more obvious that no one is coming and none of you are safe.

It’s been three days, you think, the nights and days blurring together but you’re trying your hardest to stay alert. You’ve stopped listening to the questions, trying to figure out an escape route or a way to disarm the people holding you hostage. You’re half asleep in the corner of the room, completely drained, but then you hear it.

Grunting, shouting, gunfire. The impact of bodies hitting the floor, fists hitting skin, a low growl that sends a chill down your spine. The other girls are scared, gathering together while you wander towards the door, stumbling back a step when it’s broken open, revealing…

Your throat goes dry. He’s tall, dressed all in black, a mask covering his eyes, showing only a strong, stubbly jaw and the tip of proud nose. Something in the back of your brain twinges, but you ignore it, throwing an arm out, trying to protect the girls behind you. “Who are you?”

“I’m here to help,” a gravelly voice says, and something ticks in your mind again. Something…familiar? No. “Come on, I’m getting you out of here.” He pauses, swallowing so hard his throat bobs, gesturing around the room. “All of you.” He extends his hand towards you and slowly, almost hesitantly, you take it. “You’re safe now, I promise.”

The world outside is dark as the masked man leads you through the building. It’s a storage facility, out on the docks, right on the edge of Hell’s Kitchen. The rest of the girls follow, and you’re doing your best to keep up, but you feel so weak, your legs giving out the farther you go. Before you can fall, there’s a muscled arm around your waist, and he’s keeping you upright, letting you lean your weight onto him.

“It’s all right,” he says softly to you, “I promise, everything is gonna be all right.”

Once you taste the night air, most of the girls disperse, running off into the night, but you don’t know where to go, disorientation getting the best of you. You let out a tiny noise, and the masked man tightens his grip on you. “Come with me.”

You let him lead you away from the building, clinging to him now, and as soon as you’re down an alleyway, the moon the only light overhead, no one around to see, the mask comes off.

“M…Matt?”

“Hi.”

You can’t say a word, throwing your arms around his neck and pulling him close with what little strength you have left. He lets out a quiet chuckle, hugging you back tightly. He smells like cooper, the sharp tang of blood, and it makes you pull back, realizing that his nose is bleeding, a cut higher on his forehead that had been covered by the mask. “You’re bleeding.”

“I’m fine.” His eyes are shining in the moonlight, deep pools of brown that move over you without seeing you, his hands moving over your arms and shoulders. “Did they hurt you?”

You shake your head slowly, but you’re still processing. The mask, the violent noises you had heart. Matt’s…blind. Isn’t he? “You came for me.”

His brow pinches slightly, tiny grin pulling at his lips. “Of course I did.”

“You’re a lawyer.”

He laughs. “Something like that.”

“You…” You just trail off, shaking your head. This seems surreal. He’s… “You could have gotten yourself killed, Matt. For me?” You shake your head again. “No, no, you can’t, I don’t—”

“I would do anything for you,” he says instantly, and his hands are on your cheeks now, brushing softly over your skin. It makes your heart stutter in your chest. “All my lines and rules, they mean nothing when it comes to you. I’d cross and break them all just to make you happy, just to keep you safe. You…” His mouth quirks again, that handsome smile you’ve come to know so well appearing. “You mean the world to me, you know that?”

You just stare back at him.

He turns sheepish, but he doesn’t move, still holding you close, letting you lean into him. “Sorry, probably not the best time for grand confessions.”

“Matt, I…”

“When I found out they had taken you,” he says, his voice going tight. “I didn’t…I should have said this to you so long ago, and I realize that now. I just…You need someone,” he continues, the words faster, like they need to be out of his head and reaching your ears. “We all need someone, and I…I want to be that someone for you. Let me be that person. Let be what you need.”

You just stare back at him.

“You don’t have to say anything,” he keeps talking, but he’s still holding you. “Let me…let me get you home, get you some food and a hot shower and—”

You kiss him.

It’s soft and it’s gentle and everything in you is already aching, but it melts slowly into another kind of ache. You’re sure your mouth tastes like the worst kind of morning breath, but you can’t bring yourself to care as you sink into the kiss. It’s…everything. It’s safety and it’s softness and it’s every emotion and feeling you’ve been stuffing down when it comes to Matt Murdock. Your saviour. Your best friend.

And as you draw back, his mouth still chasing yours, leaving one last delicate kiss on your lips, you think, he’s even more than that. He is that someone. He’s exactly what you need.

—————

I have a taglist! if you’d like to be tagged in future works, please fill out this form!💕

matt murdock tags: @saintmurd0ck0 @lazyxsquirrel @moonlarking @mindidjarin @freshabogados @steadyasthe-flowers @whosfrankie @ancientbeing10 @plutoneu @grounderprincesslookspissed @hoewkeyesblue @simple_lovebot @glowstick-lesbian @itwasthereaminuteago @williamjzanders @e-dubbc11 @lunarpenumbra @minxsblog @bluestuesday @eatommo @a-zterisk @randomwords3000 @i-simp-much @kirsteng42 @loonymagizoologist @pariahsparadise @greeneyedblondie44 @sparklysandstorm @dead-pool-simp @ruhro7 @alyona-romanova @dropsofprecipitation @peterman-spideyparker @hellskitchenswhore @inthehouse0fflies @shadowzena43 @arson-tm @apageinthecastle @december16-1991 @urmomdotcom5678 @pastafossa @dropsofprecipitation @m00nkn1ghts @andrewlovebot @trickstersp8 @a-hopeless-fan @dracosluvbot @billyhargrovesprincess @detectivecarisi-1 @idrinkcoffeeandobsess @murnsondock

[utilitycaster]

What are your opinions on analysing CR as a story vs a D&D game? Something I've been pondering a lot recently. E.g. people saying we should've known Bor'dor was evil when he killed the cleric, or the Dawnfather sent the angel because a Ruby Vanguard was the one who killed the cleric, and my brain goes "No! They were all attacking him, it was random chance he got the HDYWDT!" But then I step back and think it's not wrong to see the story for the story alone, like a "death of the rulebook"??? idk

Hi anon,

It’s actually my belief that you can - and should - analyze it through both lenses. Critical Role is a story, and it is told through the medium of D&D. You need to take both the realities of D&D (characters have specific abilities; random chance is a significant factor; this is improvised) and storytelling (characters will make choices based on their motivations rather than optimization) into account to draw insightful conclusions. You cannot separate them out in a meaningful manner. With that said: an understanding of D&D (or the game being played) will enhance your understanding of actual play, but as long as you understand that the actors are playing a game with rules that guide the nature of the story, you’ll be fine. If you don’t have an understanding of narrative, however, you’re fucked. Or rather, everyone who has to listen to you is fucked.

The examples you give are interesting because I happen to disagree with the first one and agree with the second, and I don’t think either is a case of leaning in too hard to D&D over story. We know from D&D that Bor’Dor getting the hit is ultimately luck of the draw, but it does make for a good story, and I don’t think it indicates he’s evil either way. But that would be true if this were a scripted work as well: does it matter if he’s evil? What matters is he’s opposed to the angel ideologically and not just because it’s attacking him, but we didn’t know about the ideology yet.

On the other hand I like the idea that the Dawnfather specifically sent the angel. That’s just a theory, and prior to knowing about Bor’Dor I assumed a D&D explanation for it (ie, it’s a spell) but again, the two are inseparable. If this were scripted, you’d write either “Kiro cast a spell at the moment of her death to call upon an angel to avenge her” or “Upon Kiro’s death, the Dawnfather, seeing one of his clerics killed by a member of the Vanguard, sent an angel”. Both are stories. Both work within D&D; the former as Planar Ally or similar and the latter because RP is a part of D&D and the gods have broad and deliberately vague powers.

So: there’s no death of the rulebook. I think a lot of people fail to understand that a major part of the rulebook is “the DM has a certain degree of leeway”. Critical Role is both a D&D game and a story, and good analysis acknowledges both these things.

[give-soup-please]

Hello! I wanted to see of you could do the narrator helping a stressed out college student wind down after a long day in classes? absolutely love your writings btw!

Narrator helping reader destress from college classes (platonic or romantic)

Last class of the day… and you were absolutely exhausted. You stumble home, head full of new knowledge, and brain empty. You almost trip over the front door on your way in, and the narrator is there waiting.

You’ve asked him not to tail you to classes, as he has a tendency to interrupt the professor and get you in trouble. He understands that your education is important to you, and stays put. It’s not like he has anyone else he wants to spend time with, so he does his best to make sure you come home to a space that’s warm and welcoming.

The air conditioning and heating is set to your specifications and preferences for the season, your papers have been reorganized, and the windows are letting a gentle breeze in. You collapse on the couch, tossing your backpack to one side. 

You can hear the amusement in his voice. “Rough day, reader?”

You let out a low groan and close your eyes.

“You can rest easy now. Take a load off, and relax- you’ve earned it.” You glance up at him, slightly suspicious. It was hard to believe that you’d earned anything when all you did was scrawl a few notes down and try to look focused.

“I mean it! Take some time off, and don’t uh- erm- How does that phrase go? ‘Hit the books’- yes- Don’t ‘hit the books’ quite so soon. You’re clearly exhausted, and what better way to ease the tension than to listen to my melodic voice?”

You’re half waiting for the other shoe to drop, but not in a serious way. For as long as the narrator had existed on this side of reality, he’d never done you any harm.

“Indeed, I think you should take all of your attention off of school for a moment, and focus on what’s truly important- Me!”

You’re grinning. Of course he was a bit attention starved. You’ve been so focused on working hard lately, that maybe it’s time you took it easy for once.

He double checks that you’re listening, and then launches into his theater persona- All the best jokes and stories that he can come up with. In a few minutes, you’re laughing and chatting and commentating along.

The two of you are in perfect harmony. He’s got the uncanny ability to know what you need to hear. Maybe his ability to read Stanley’s thoughts transferred over to this reality as well, and his insight is more than just insight. Who can say?

Careful about your workload, reader. He’s excellent at convincing people to rest. It’s the perfect opportunity for him to work his magic on a willing audience member. Of course he’s going to do something like this, especially when it benefits him to have a listener, and it benefits you to destress. Only you will be able to make the determination on when to get back to work.

He’ll also listen to you if you need to talk the stressful day out. You’re giving him the attention he craves, and you listen when he offers advice and comfort. 

“Oh dear, that does sound like a dreadful day- and those assignments- What does your teacher think they’re playing at, assigning work over the weekend? What nonsense. Someone should-” He’ll rant away about the education system if you let him. 

All told, he’s excellent at helping you if you’ve had an exhausting day, even if his methods and reasons are a little unconventional.  

[socialbunny]

BOLD THE FACTS: My OG pookums >:3

I was tagged by this by some people actually, but I'm going to do it like. two more times (in two more posts with Darleen and Darren & Skip and Brandi and ??? maybe some other premades who're relevant in the DCU (dirk cinematic universe)) who really knows I might forget about doing the rest right after I post this so 😭

Starting with my pookies Dirk and Dustin, because I love copying nixie they're my original loves. these aren't concrete i change stuff a lot and a lot of these questions (?) i wasnt so sure on so whatverrrr :)

PERSONAL

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

FAMILY

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

*i guess there's no place for parental relationships which whateverrrrrr. dirk and darren have a complicated relationship to me, one that's right in-between the pleasant's and the broke's. the death of darleen affected both dirk and darren greatly, of course, but it hit darren especially hard. darren did some shit that traumatized dirk badly and it left their relationship on the rocks up to present time. i don't think dirk takes darren seriously as his actual parent At All, and sees him as more of a liability than anything. THAT SOUNDS VERY MEAN BUT YOU NEED TO GET INSIDE MY BRAIN.

◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between

♦ disorganized / organized / in between

♦ close minded / open-minded / in between

♦ calm / anxious / in between

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between

♦ cautious / reckless / in between

♦ outspoken / reserved / in between

♦ patient / impatient / in between

♦ leader / follower / in between

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

♦ traditional / modern / in between ??? dont really get this one

♦ hard-working / lazy / in between

♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ??

♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown (his "loyalty" is highly debatable. he's definitely not disloyal but the bar is kinda low)

♦ reliable / unreliable / unknown

BELIEFS

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic ?

☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious ?

❀ Philosophical: yes / no

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious

❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

the last two bullets that were here are irrelevant to me he's bisexual ;)

ABILITIES

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

HABITS

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic

☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker

✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict

✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess *he does not take his meds lmaoooo

☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

$ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

PERSONAL

$ Financial: wealthy / moderate / poor / in poverty

✚ Medical: fit / moderate / sickly / disabled / disadvantaged / non applicable

✪ Class or Caste: upper / middle / working / unsure / other

✔ Education: qualified / unqualified / studying / other

✖ Criminal Record: yes, for major crimes / yes, for minor crimes / no / has committed crimes, but not caught yet / yes, but charges were dismissed

FAMILY

◒ Children: had a child or children / has no children / wants children

◑ Relationship with Family: close with sibling(s) / not close with sibling(s) / has no siblings / sibling(s) is deceased

◔ Affiliation: orphaned / adopted / disowned / raised by birth parent / not applicable

TRAITS + TENDENCIES

♦ extroverted / introverted / in between

♦ disorganized / organized / in between

♦ close minded / open-minded / in between

♦ calm / anxious / in between

♦ disagreeable / agreeable / in between

♦ cautious / reckless / in between

♦ outspoken / reserved / in between

♦ patient / impatient / in between

♦ leader / follower / in between

♦ empathetic / vicious bastard / in between

♦ optimistic / pessimistic / in between

♦ traditional / modern / in between ??? dont really get this one

♦ hard-working / lazy / in between

♦ cultured / uncultured / in between / unknown ??

♦ loyal / disloyal / unknown

♦ reliable / unreliable / unknown / DEPENDSSS

BELIEFS

★ Faith: monotheist / polytheist / atheist / agnostic / n/a ??

☆ Belief in Ghosts or Spirits: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✮ Belief in an Afterlife: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✯ Belief in Reincarnation: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

❃ Belief in Aliens: yes / no / don’t know / don’t care

✧ Religious: orthodox / liberal / in between / not religious

❀ Philosophical: yes / no

the broke's are ethnically jewish (brandi's side), but aren't really religious to me.

SEXUALITY & ROMANTIC INCLINATION

❤ Sexuality: heterosexual / homosexual / bisexual / asexual / pansexual

❥ Sex: sex repulsed / sex neutral / sex favorable / naive and clueless

♥ Romance: romance repulsed / romance neutral / romance favorable / naive and clueless / romance suspicious

❣ Sexually: adventurous / experienced / naive / inexperienced / curious

the last two bullets that were here are irrelevant to me he's bisexual ;)

ABILITIES

☠ Combat Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

≡ Literacy Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✍ Artistic Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

✂ Technical Skills: excellent / good / moderate / poor / none

HABITS

☕ Drinking Alcohol: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / alcoholic

☁ Smoking: tried it / trying to quit / quit / never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / chain-smoker

✿ Recreational Drugs: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / addict

✌ Medicinal Drugs: never / no longer needs medication / some medication needed / frequently / to excess

☻ Unhealthy Food: never / special occasions / sometimes / frequently / binge eater

$ Splurge Spending: never / sometimes / frequently / shopaholic

♣ Gambling: never / rarely / sometimes / frequently / compulsive gambler

[anauro]

Ok so I googled real quick the effects of heroine on 🍆 because when you said that James may not be able to get it up a second time bc of years of drug abuse, I was like "but what about Remus and Sirius doing devil's tango every single day (do they?)? And apparently, "people addicted to heroin can experience decreased sexual function resulting from the effect of the drug on the brain." Like a lack of libido or erectile dysfunctions. 🥲😟 - 🧋

Aghahwh, I knew this would peak your interest, French anon 😚

So yes.

I have thoughts too. And research. And a really long post, so I do apologise. There’s a TL;DR at the bottom.

I think the main point here is that drug abuse, especially heroin, can cause erectile dysfunction and this persists even after abstinence. Sounds like this isn’t the cause for other drug-induced impotence and could potentially be an issue in recovery if the addicted man has the awareness his sex life might not improve. Especially if using drugs can just dull the need to have sex at all and hence kind of deal with this issue.

So yeah, point number one is: James could definitely struggle with sex, be it erectile dysfunction or premature ejaculation or maybe some other issues like decreased libido.

But it looks like men with erectile dysfunction can still have and enjoy sex, especially if it’s anal sex. I think he could still bottom and reach orgasm, even if he doesn’t necessarily get hard or maintains an erection sufficient for penetration. If that were to happen in Dass, I think it can be a learning opportunity for both of them. Regulus is used to fast and easy sex and James is just so self conscious about pretty much every little aspect of his existence. One can learn that there’s more to sex than just prep and quick chase for the release and the other one can finally be given the love and attention he deserves. I don’t know, I think it’d be cute, no?

Now Remus and Sirius.

I’m glad and also scared you brought them up.

When I said which condition Remus has (congenital adrenal hyperplasia) I have hinted heavily (I think) in my explanation and the article attached (see also here) that he’s not a genetic male. Aka his karyotype is XX and he was born with ambiguous genitalia. After a ton of research, I’ve decided to leave it open to interpretation as to which external genitals he has. The bottom line is, he’s a man and has been functioning in the society as a man since he hit puberty. In my mind, he does not have a functioning penis and uses a prosthetic, but also he could have had a surgery at a young age to give him male external genitalia. I’ve decided the research for this is beyond my abilities and what’s in his pants is not relevant much to the story. I just wanted to raise awareness about ambiguous genitalia and the fact that you can have a male phenotype with a female genotype purely naturally and hence gender = sex argument is fundamentally flawed. In my experience, transphobes often use the argument that god/nature make no mistakes and the natural existence of XX babies who look like XY babies seemed like a nice little “fuck you” to their logic.

TL;DR: James can have erectile dysfunction and Jegulus can explore what it means and how to have a fully functional relationship despite that. Remus’ karyotype is XX.

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #15P: Euryale

Now that Gudaguda’s done and dusted, we can get back to going back to older servants in pathfinder! Today we’re showing off Euryale’s new form, where she’s become a Starlit Span Magus to combine her skill with a bow and arrow with her natural charms. Those charms are also why we pop into the Celebrity and Captivator archetypes, and once we run out of stuff from there we’ll head to the Archer archetype once more to arch slightly better.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet over here!

Next up: Can PF2E do suicide attacks better than D&D? We’re about to find out the hard way!

Ancestry and Background

When we were making the snek sisters in D&D, Yuan-tis did a lot of heavy lifting for them. Unfortunately, Yuant-ti don’t exist in pathfinder. But if you want to make a small mischievous person who messes with people using magic it’s hard to go wrong with the Sprite. While this means you take a dip to your strength, you make up for that with an extra boost, giving you +2 in Intelligence, Dexterity, and Charisma. You also have to put up with a slower speed than most, but your low-light vision is helpful, and your Magical Strikes will make every hit you make a little more special even after you’ve run out of spells.

You’re also tiny, which is a little too small for our taste. Instead, become a Pixie so you’re only Small sized instead. You also gain Evanescent Wings, letting you reach higher shelves. Euryale doesn’t really fly, but some of those flips she does in her animations are clearly defying gravity.

At level 5 you can whistle a Catchy Tune as an action, making a performance check against enemy wills. If you succeed, they’ll slow down and become flat-footed for a round. It’s basically a charm without being a charm effect.

At level nine you can put on a Fey Disguise, casting illusory disguise once per day, allowing you to better match the beauty standards of those around you, what with you being the “perfect idol” and all. At seventh level this will disguise your sounds and scent as well, and at 9th you can even copy individuals perfectly if they’re the same size as you.

At level 13 you can use a Sprite’s Spark as an attack if you run out of arrows. It’s a ranged unarmed attack that deals 1d4 mental damage.

Finally at level 17 you can Energize Wings, giving you a proper flying speed of 30’ for one minute each hour. I mean you’re practically cupid, might as well be able to fly properly.

While “literal goddess” still isn’t a background in pathfinder, you can at least be Blessed by one. This gives you another boost in Charisma and Intelligence, and you become trained in the lore of the goddess who blessed you. So… Euryale Lore. Or maybe Stheno, it’s hard to tell. Either way, you can also cast Guidance at will, or maybe your DM will come up with something else for you. It’s an extra +1 bonus for a creature once per hour per creature, and that’s never a bad thing.

Class Levels

1. Euryale hits people with arrows and charms them, that’s a Magus if ever I did see one. This gives you another boost to Dexterity as your key ability, you also get trained in Perception, Arcana, Reflex saves, weapons, and unarmored, light, and medium armor. You’ll also get training in Religion and Diplomacy now, and Stealth, Deception, Occultism, Nature, and Society as your brain gets bigger. tbh I’m not sure if Euryale magic counts as religion or occultism, but you’ve got both now so whatever. On top of that, you’re an expert in fortitude and will saves, goddess core and all that.

Anyways, onto the important stuff. At level 1 you get another Ability Boost in Dexterity, Intelligence, Constitution, and Charisma. You gain some funky Arcane Spellcasting from a spellbook you carry around with eight cantrips and four 1st level spells, plus two more spells every time you level up. Much like a wizard, you can copy spells you find in later, but unlike a wizard you have very, very few spell slots. Two in your highest level of casting and two in your next highest level, to be specific. For most of the build anyway, make sure you check your handbook for the exact slots per level. You can heighten spells to cast them with the higher level slots, though.

The big part of the class is your Spellstrike, which lets you use a spell attack and a weapon attack at the same time. The attack takes two actions, and recharging for another spellstrike takes one action, or when you cast a focus spell. Right now you can only use spells that attack a single target, but we’ll mix things up in a second.

Normally spellstrikes have to be melee, but since you trained in the Starlit Span, you can use ranged attacks as well if you’re targeting something within the first range increment. For a shortbow, that’s 60’. Your focus spell lets you make a Shooting Star, a ranged strike that ignores concealment and reduces the effectiveness of cover. If it hits, then every attack against that creature gets the same bonuses for a round. Pink glowy arrows, right out the gate!

You can also enter an Arcane Cascade after you cast a spell or make a spellstrike to add extra damage to your weapon attacks. Your melee weapon attacks. So yeah, it’s useless here.

Finally, we have to talk about actual spells. You get eight cantrips and four spells, but you can only prepare 5 cantrips and one spell cast each day, at least for now. We’re only going to bring up four cantrips here, since that’s how many really fit, but we’ll talk about all the spells you get.

For cantrips, grab Detect Magic to sense magic. It would be awkward if you and your sister got in each other’s way, right? You also get Prestidigitation for minor magical effects, Time Sense for a perfect sense of time (… look they can’t all be super cool), and Protect Companion to improve Asterios’ AC when you fight by his side. In the same vein, Ant Haul will beef up his carrying capacity for a few hours, and Mage Armor increases your AC while you’re not wearing armor. You can wear armor, but that clashes with your look. Aside from that, you can Befuddle and Charm enemies, confusing or, well, charming them respectively.

2. At second level your Expansive Spellstrike lets you use spells that don’t directly attack a creature, so now you can charmlock motherfuckers while hitting them in the face at the same time.

Once you run out of spell slots, you’re still a Charming Liar, letting you make an impression at the same time you lie, as long as it makes sense for the lie to puff up your importance. You’re a goddess, make sure everyone knows it. Even if you’re only level 2.

This is also the first time we can take an archetype, like the Celebrity Dedication, letting you Upstage enemies as a reaction, making the same skill check they did. If you do better than they did, you get a +1 bonus to attacks, checks, and saves for a round. You also Earn Income more easily by mentally enslaving some poor shmucks.

We also get more combat-oriented spells like True Strike for advantage on one attack and Magic Weapon for improved odds with all your attacks. Though, all your attacks are already magic, so it’s not quite as big a deal as usual.

3. If you want to upstage people, you need to be good at just about everything. Fortunately, you’re a goddess, so your Untrained Improvisation is on point. That gives you half your level as a bonus on untrained checks, and at level 7 that increases to your full level.

Also, your Diplomacy gets a little better. We can mind control people, but that’ll eat through your spell slots so fast it isn’t funny. Best have a backup.

You can also play Mind Games to stun an enemy, making them lose a few actions each time they fail a save. We also pick up the first of your vampirism options this level. I don’t know why you’re a vampire, but you are. Umbral Mindtheft is weird, but it kind of fits the bill- you can make a steal action to take a lore skill from a creature- on a success you deal psychic damage, and you gain that knowledge. Is that what NP charge is? Probably not, but it’s cool.

4. At level four your Steady Spellcasting makes it a little easier to prevent disruptions while concentrating on spells. Losing mind control when you’re relying on it is super bad, don’t do it.

Even better, win people over without spells by Glad-Handing them as soon as you meet them. You get a demerit to the check, but you can try again at the usual time anyway so there’s literally no harm in trying.

Finally, as a celeb you Never Tire, letting you push off being fatigued for up to a minute. Again, goddess core baybee. No negative status effects allowed!

These spells are literally just Goddess Core again- Endure Elements protects you from either severe heat or cold, and Slough Skin helps you remove persistent damage and you get a bonus against contact poison. It’s gross, but you are snek after all.

5. Fifth level’s easy. an Ability Boost in Constitution, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma. Also, your Lightning Reflexes increase your reflex saves to expert, and you also gain expertise in Arcana and weapon attacks.

Fifth level also gets you third level spells, and it’s time for Vampiric Touch. It’s actual vampirism, with the only downside being that you have to be in touch range to- oh, what’s that? You can literally shoot spells at people? Well, isn’t that just dandy! You can also Enthrall people. It’s neat, they have a hard time noticing anyone else.

6. At sixth level, your Knowledge is Power. If you critically succeed at recalling knowledge on a creature, you get a +1 bonus on your next attack on them, to your AC on their next attack against you, and your next save from their effect- you can even give this to your allies! It works once per option, but lasts a minute. I mostly wanted it for the save boost, but the whole kit’s nice.

You can also Trick Magic Items, letting you use your Arcana, Nature, Occultism, or Religion to use a magic item that you normally wouldn’t. You spend an action, and if you succeed, you can use your other actions to use the item. We’re only getting Arcane and Occult spellcasting in this build, so this’ll help you reach godhood.

Finally, something more directly Euryale-ish. Your Mesmerizing Gaze can fascinate a creature who fails their will save once you lock eyes on them. It’s not stone vision, but it’s still pretty stunning, if I say so myself.

For your other third level spells, Hypnotic Pattern and Distracting Chatter will both ruin someone’s life- the former works in a specific area, hypnotizing anyone inside. The latter forces some poor sap to hear dozens of voices from nowhere, generally interrupting his day.

7. At seventh level, your Arcane Sense lets you detect magic innately. You’re just better than other people. Also, this way you and your sister don’t stumble into each other’s magical nonsense.

You also get better at lying to people about which sister you are thanks to your expertise in Deception, and if that doesn’t work you can shoot them harder with your Weapon Specialization.

The unique thing this level is your Studious Spells, which give you two extra 2nd level spell slots which can only be used on a reduced list of spells. The only important ones right now are True Strike and Darkvision. These slots also level up as you do, and we’ll go over them again when that happens.

You’ve gotten so convincing you can tell people something has a False Nature and they’ll naturally believe you. Call a piece of wood stone and everyone who didn’t see it before will immediately agree with you until they break the illusion the old-fashioned way. If someone sees you do this they get a save, but that’s still not a guarantee they won’t fall for it.

You also gain some Reflective Scales, giving you resistance against one type of elemental damage. As they block damage, they store that energy- as a two action move, you can end the spell early to blast that energy out in an area around you. The explosion isn’t very Euryale, but the protection’s nice.

8. Eighth level makes your Arcane Cascade actually do something for a change- while in the stance, your Starlit Eyes lower the DC to target hidden and concealed creatures, removing the check entirely for striking a hidden creature with Shooting Star.

You also learn how to Sow Rumors during your downtime, altering other peoples’ ability to gather information on a subject. Rumors like how tall your sister is, for one.

We’ll also pop into a new archetype this level as a Captivator. This will make you a master of Deception, and you can Daze and Phase Bolt enemies innately.

You also get more magus spells- Dimensional Anchor prevents a creature from leaving this plane, attempting to counteract any teleporting spells cast on them for up to an hour. This is meant to be used to keep slippery enemies from escaping, but there’s nothing preventing you from using it for extra protection against spellcasters.

You can also use Enervation to weaken people. This doesn’t quite have the 100% vampirism we’re doing for, but any excuse to weaken an enemy is a good one.

9. Another fast one. Your Resolve makes you a master at will saves, and your successes are always critical. All the others are flat increases- expert in Perception and Arcane Spells, master in Diplomacy.

You can use that extra spell power to create a Blood Feast. The flavor is terrifying, but it’s basically big vampirism- deal a bunch of piercing damage, gain temporary HP for a minute, and you can even deal persistent bleed damage on a crit. While this is another touch spell, you’ve got a bow.

For a more standard Euryale spell, check out Glimmer of Charm. You gain an aura for a minute- any creature ending its turn near you needs to make a will save or they’ll like you more and can’t take hostile actions against you.

10. Tenth level is another beast entirely. You get an Ability Boost in Dexterity, Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma, and your Rapid Recharge lets you refill your spellstrike as a free action once per day.

You might use that extra action to let out a Bon Mot, distracting an enemy with a clever insult, reducing their will saves for up to a minute, or until they have a proper comeback. You’re good at needling people, and this weakens their saves against your charms. Win-win! If we’re counting you as both halves of the win. Which we should!

You also get Basic Captivator Spellcasting, letting you cast a first, second, and third level spell for free once a day. Basically it’s three more spell slots, which we desperately need. Command and Enthrall are pretty self-explanatory, but we also grab Touch of Idiocy to dumb down anyone hanging out too close to us. If they fail a wisdom save, they’re stupefied, reducing all their brain-based checks and saves. On top of that, they have to pass a check to cast any spells.

You can also put on a Cloak of Colors for protection from most attacks. Nearby creatures are dazzled by your glory, and any creature making a melee attack against you needs to make a will save or become blinded, or even stunned for a round.

For a slightly closer to FGO rendition of vampirism, Shadow Siphon eats away at magical power as a reaction, attempting to counteract a spell and make it deal half damage. Since it’s only half a counterspell, it gets a bonus to its counteract check too.

11. At eleventh level, your Doublespeak means people who don’t travel with you regularly can miss out on what you really mean. God know I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about in your interludes. Also you’re an expert in Armor and Religion.

On top of that, your studious spells are third level now. You get more, but none of them are really needed for the Euryale experience, so just keep upcasting.

Eleventh level magi get sixth level spells. True Seeing is detect magic on steroid, letting you see through any illusions nearby. We’ll also give you Flesh to Stone for shits and giggles.

12. At twelfth level you grow a Spirit Sheath, which I’m desperately trying to not make a joke about its name. It’s a secret compartment for your weapons, and it’s hard to notice, giving you a bonus to concealing items in it. It’s still possible to get owo what’s this’d, but it’s harder. You can also draw your weapon as part of the same actions you use to spellstrike.

If you need to lie about your sheath, your Slippery Secrets will make that a lot easier since it lets you make a deception check to lie to even magical effects.

Speaking of magic, Expert Captivator Spells. Same as last time, but higher level. You get Subconscious Suggestion now, another brain bender, as well as Mirror’s Misfortune. Summon Stheno to an adjacent space, creating an exact copy of you. If an enemy hits Stheno instead of you, they get to make a Will save, taking disadvantage on their next few attacks if they fail.

Vampiric Exsanguination is probably a little too powerful for Vampirism C, but screw it, let’s live a little. You deal negative damage to creatures in a 30’ cone, and gain temporary HP based on the creature you hurt the most.

If you prefer a little subtlety, Vibrant Pattern creates a floating pattern that lasts up toa minute, dazzling creatures inside. Additionally, creatures inside need to make a will save, or they become blinded for up to a minute.

13. Thirteenth level is another one of those “more of what you got” levels. Mastery in Arcana and your Weapons, plus your Studious Spells are fourth level now, and you can pick Freedom of Movement as well. You ever try holding onto a child? It’s impossible.

Contingency is neat if you need to slip on some magic in a pinch, though using two slots for one spell is a high price to pay when that’s half your best slots gone in one go.

Also, your Entrancing Eyes can force a will save on creatures, stupefying and fascinating them if they fail a will save.

14. If you’ve spent time this turn casting spells, you can turn that magic into an Arcane Shroud, giving you an Arcane Cascade as well as a free copy of a spell based on the school of the spell you just cast.

You also get Assurance in Deception, so you can ignore any positives and negatives affecting the roll and just take a 10 plus your proficiency bonus. It’s cost-effective magic.

Speaking of effective magic, your Effortless Captivation lets you sustain illusion and enchantment spells as a free action, so now you really can mix fighting and casting without missing a beat.

Your Prismatic Armor protects you from every elemental option at once, and can even blind attackers instead of dazzling them. Again, we’re mostly here for the resistances but it’s free blinding, who doesn’t love free blinding?

Your charm magic gets powerful enough to Warp Minds, forcing a will save on a target creature- without the option of using counterspells, might I add. Depending on how badly they roll, they could be confused for an action, a minute, or forever.

15. At level 15 you get an Ability Boost in all your soft stats and constitution. You’re also a Juggernaut now, making you a master of fortitude saves, and your successful saves are always critical. You don’t look the part, but when in doubt blame Goddess Core.

You’re also an expert in Stealth and know Greater Weapon Specialization. It’s more damage.

For something new, you can now make utterly Shameless Requests of others, reducing the DC needed to succeed on outrageous requests, and preventing a loss of standing if you critically fail.

This is where we start reaching the awkward point of spellcasting. To be honest, we simply don’t need the highest level spells to emulate Euryale, so feel free to take what you want. Though Scintillating Pattern is still a good option. Again, it makes an illusionary area, confusing or stunning creatures inside.

16. At sixteenth level you can make a Hasted Assault as a focus spell, giving you an extra action each turn that must be used to strike for a minute.

Off the battlefield, you’re a Confabulator, making it a bit easier for you to cover for lies that didn’t go the way you planned.

You can also Command Attention as an action, giving nearby creatures stronger saves against visual effects (because they’re too busy looking at you) and giving anyone using visual attacks a hard time if they try to target someone else (because they’re looking at you). Being the center of attention isn’t easy, but it’s your destiny.

17. At seventeenth level you become a Master Spellcaster, making all your charms harder to resist. You also become a master with your Armor, and an expert in Occultism as well.

We also get ninth level spells, and there are a few I want, actually. Last ones though, promise. Bilocation lets you summon Stheno properly, giving you a second body to move around in. They share the same HP pool, and you don’t get any extra actions, but they can move at the same time, and when the spell ends or is dismissed, you can pick which body sticks around. It also only lasts 10 minutes, but that’s ten minutes of Shining-tier twin time, baby!

You can also use Divinity Leech to eat away at the godliness of a divine spellcaster. Every time they try to cast a divine spell, you gain HP, and have a chance to destroy or weaken the spell in the process. This is the closest we can get to FGO’s vampirism, though sadly this doesn’t give you more spell slots.

18. At eighteenth level you can perform a Cascade Countermeasure once you’re in an Arcane Cascade, giving you resistance 5 against spells. Goddess core and all that, you get it by now.

You can also shadow Mark using a Shadow Mark, making it harder for people to notice you following them. You snuck into Chaldea at some point around the second singularity and we never noticed you since. Very sneaky!

Finally, once per day you can make your target Look Again to recast an innate enchantment or illusion spell. You have to call your shot, but it makes risky moves slightly less risky. It’s worth noting this doesn’t work with Spellstrike.

19. Speaking of spellstrikes, at nineteenth level you can make a Double Spellstrike- when you cast a spell with spellstrike, the next time you use it in the next minute you can spellstrike again with the same spell, no slot required.

You can also make A Home in Every Port thanks to being humanity’s perfect idol. Spend 8 hours, and you’ll find someone willing to put up with you and your friends for a full day at no cost. To help you along, you’re now legendary in Diplomacy.

20. Our final level nets you a Supreme Spellstrike, giving you a permanent extra action that must be used to attack or spellstrike. The flavor text says you make it look effortless, which makes sense since again, god.

For your final mind trick, your Legendary Negotiation lets you make an impression even on people you’re actively fighting. It’s not exactly mindbending magic, but it’s pretty close.

Finally, since we ran out of stuff to give you from the other archetypes, you might as well get the Archer Dedication to separate you from Stheno. It gives you your Critical Specialization with bows and arrows- if you score a crit, the enemy gets posted into a nearby wall by the arrow, taking an action to break free.

Pros and Cons

Pros:

Thanks to your spellstrikes, all your spells have enhanced range, hitting up to 60’ away no problem. Turning your head into a giant mouth and eating people who get to close is scary. Doing all that from across the room is terrifying. Also, since you’re attacking and casting at the same time, you’ve got more flexibility when it comes to the moment-to-moment combat.

High level enemies probably have strong debuff resist, but you’ve got a ton of debuffs to work with, so odds are at least one of them can get through. Worst case scenario, you just go with the greatest debuff of all- death!

You have good AC, you can fly, you can heal yourself, and you don’t have to get into melee range to fight effectively. All this means you are a terror to take down. And that’s before we get into the twin shenanigans you can pull off.

Cons:

You have six slots from being a magus and six from being a captivator. While you do have some focus spells to help out too, that’s not a lot of casting to get you through a full day. While you can bend reality to your whims, you’ll have to pace yourself.

Ranged attacks and casting spells are both things that can be interrupted by melee fighters. We haven’t gotten to Asterios yet, so for now anyone who can keep up with you will be a big hassle. And keeping up  with you is easy when you can fly, since your stubby little legs don’t move too fast.

Your limited spell slots require you to plan ahead, preparing your magus slots down to the exact spell each will cast. Even with doubled spellstrikes, that means you have no flexibility after you’ve made your choice for the day. Who would have thought an intelligence caster would require a big brain to play?

[another-whump-sideblog]

Jane’s Pets Chapter 13: Things Jane Says

TWs in the tags

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Masterlist

Next

You’re starting to think that maybe you shouldn’t have tried to run away.

“Do you know what this is, Bunny?”

You can guess. Jane holds a long stick with two metal bits coming out of one end.

“Is it a cattle prod, master?”

“Yes! I have a few other tools for causing electric shocks, but we’ll just use this for now.”

The cattle prod buzzes, and Jane presses it into your left leg.

Why did it have to be your leg? Your muscles contract painfully, and your leg feels like it’s on fire. It’s hard to tell how much of the pain is from the cattle prod and how much is from your broken leg being jostled.

Your heart pounds. The exhaustion that made it hard to care about the pain has been dispelled, and despite days without sleep, you’re wide awake.

You don’t bother to beg. It won't do anything but put more strain on your throat.

—

When you first met Jane, she was nothing but kind. She said you looked hungry, said she’d get you any food you wanted. You thought she was just a little kid, at first. You said she was a good kid, but that she didn’t have to worry about you.

She demonstrated her ability to teleport for you, and you thought you were hallucinating. She said again that she would get you any food you wanted.

Figuring you had nothing to lose, you asked for ice cream. Out of thin air, she conjured a carton of your favorite kind, mint chocolate chip, and a spoon.

The fact that she knew what kind was your favorite seemed just as weird as everything else, so you didn’t question it. The carton was solid and cold, and it was hard to believe it was just a product of your brain misfiring.

—

“This is your fault, Bunny. If you’d just listened, I wouldn’t have to do this. It’s okay, though. You’ll learn.”

Jane presses the cattle prod into your stomach.

You’re never going to get out of this. Your head slams against the ground as your body spasms.

—

As you scarfed down the ice cream, Jane told you about herself. She said that she’d been alive for a long time, and was trying to use her powers to help people.

She said it was hard to help, looking like a 12-year-old. People didn’t listen to her. She couldn’t save the world from climate change or fix flawed governments, but she could do smaller things. She could provide a safe home to the people who needed it the most.

She said that she’d been keeping an eye on you for a while. That she felt that you needed her help, and, if you wanted, that you could come live with her and two other people she’d been helping.

—

“You just need some discipline, little Bunny. Then you’ll be just as good as Puppy and Kitty.”

Jane pokes your shoulder with the cattle prod. Your entire arm tingles and twitches. You scream and scream and scream.

—

She told you about the other people at the house, Kit and Dollie. How they’d both been horribly abused before she saved them, and had some weird habits as a result. How Dollie didn’t speak or sign or write, and Kit was extremely paranoid. She said that she picked you because she could tell that you were a very compassionate person who wouldn’t make their issues worse. She said you were special.

She said they always had enough food, and that the house was big enough that you’d get your own room.

She said that, if you decided to come with her, you’d be under her protection. She wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.

—

“Really, it’s my fault. I expected too much of you. I thought you were smart enough to obey without pain. But you’re not, and that’s okay.”

Jane hits the palm of your hand with the cattle prod. You keep thinking it can’t get worse, but it always can, she can always do worse.

“Let’s do three more, and then we can get out the drill.”

—

Of course, you decided to go with her. Even if it was some kind of dream, it was a very nice one, and you didn’t see any harm in playing along.

It took several days to get to the house. She produced money for hotel rooms, and then camping gear when you were hiking through the woods.

She said it was easier to be far from civilization. She said that it was safer.

—

Jane shocks your chest and then your thigh, one after the other. All in all, the actual shocks hurt less than the aftermath. Your muscles are painfully sore, and your fingers are growing numb. Just one more. You don’t know if that thought is one of dread or one of hope, given her claim that you’ll be drilled next.

“We’ve made a lot of progress already. By the time I’m done with you, you won’t be able to think about leaving without crying. Darling Bunny. You’re going to be so good, I just know it.”

She shocks your broken leg again, for much longer than you think is necessary. You’re starting to lose your voice. Your screaming breaks off into coughing, which jolts your leg even more.

Jane combs her fingers through your hair and wipes your tears away.

“Don’t worry. Don’t worry, I’m not going to drill you, Bunny. Puppy will.”

A/N: Let me know if I should tag anything else!

Tag list: @eatyourdamnpears @ghostsinthecloset

[sagaciouscejai]

I was making a Touhoustuck Youmu write-up but i hit a snag where I’m not feeling confident in my understanding of Heirs after so long.

It’s mostly that i wasnt sure how much John was influencial due to his aspect or class, as we can easily see him rubbing off in very minor ways on his friends in pre-game logs, especially when you look to things like Dave’s change in shades. It becomes more pronounced later with things like sharing Nick Cage with Vriska or being someone who had the right sort of impact to allow future Terezi to fuck with her past self with all the retcons.

Like... it feels the further you get into Homestuck, the less John is subtly influencing people as much as being given the power and freedom to be effective when placed in situations like the Retcon stuff. He’s really only inflencial because Terezi directs him to punch Vriska out, diffusing the tension of the situation and allowing the two to just stop trying to kill each other on the meteor. In a sense, the messing around of past Terezi is most likely to keep her from trying to kill Vriska after John leaves too, especially since she’s a lot more confused and willing to think things over in the Retcon timeline by the end of murderstuck.

So its very much that John can influence in smaller ways, but can only really be at his most effective when being directed by another’s influence. It’s how he so effectively kills himself via Terezi’s direction once given the jetpack, and then needed both Dave and Davesprite to push him not to just go to the final boss on a lark. Vriska pushes him to do a huge windy thing to blow out the green flames covering his land, and later to go to his quest bed to get killed and subsequently God Tier. He can channel his aspect and become it, but when he inherits it from others it becomes way more potent.

Equius is also tricky as an heir, because Void is an aspect that can literally be like “You inherit emptiness and darkness and obfuscation” in one sense, but also regularly means “You inherit nothing, don’t even inherit anything”. It’s why for a stealing class like Roxy’s, she doesn’t steal anything because most likely what she would steal is the scant few things the other players have, or potentially alcohol in some sense if she were to try and go back to that empty vice. She also is tasked with trying to steal the void away from her void session as well, alongside the void surrounding her life with the blackouts and all that, but it all goes hand in hand.

Equius inherits the void, but he shouldn’t inherit anything. He has way too much strength, way too much pride on his blood and its ‘inherent superiority’, too much centaur porn adorning his life. These are the Void of his life, and they are things he should not inherit. Instead, he should go out into an empty land, a quiet land, to reflect and learn to control himself. He starts to get there, as we see on the meteor, but his upbringing still had too much of a hold on him  when Gamzee finally tries to subjugate him. If he did, he most likely would’ve been a perfect check to Vriska’s relevancy as she gathered all of that Light, just in the same way he unintentionally was being her neighbor pre-entry.

Mituna is hard to parse, mostly because all we know is that at one point he does a heroic act that fries his brain and Kurloz was around to see it. We don’t even know if it was before or during the game, so we have no indication if the way Aranea describes him before that event was relevant to his character arc given by SGRUB, or was just necessary setup for who he needed to be in the game, similar to how the FLARP stuff set up how all 4 of those Alternians needed to be prior to entry. There’s more confusion to be had as to whether having a mental disability is considered having Doom or lacking it, which goes alongside the ability to have prophetic visions being a sign of or of not having any Doom. These could also be just Goldblood/Captor traits, but both fit will with the ideas of Doom not to discount, it’s just with their classes and the dynamics therein, its unclear what counts as an abundance or lack of the Aspect.

[books-are-my-life-stuff]

Let me enjoy this fleeting moment to be happy over the Champion Stadium that I’ve always been waiting for, and jamming over the extremely sick music, before I cry and weep over the Master Mode next week.

In this post I took notes of things that I noticed through the fight. I used this warm-up session of Hoenn CS to understand the mechanics and gimmicks of each stages. Which is why I stalled some of the fights to post sync, and by some I meant Sidney and Glacia’s stages...the rest of the fight were over too quickly I regretted it.

Sidney set up Go Viral 9 Thunder Wave before he sync, and he had Furious Brain. Similar to Grimsley’s stage...I think Bug-weak Grimsley also had paralysis too. Taking him down before he did that is required unless I have something to counter his Paralysis, like dodging it with Fly, or Status Immunity passives. Which makes the already tight time to finish the fight even tighter. Also maybe my Diantha is not a great choice here. All that said, I LOVE SIDNEY SOOO MUCH!! Not only he hard-carried my team through Dark-weak stages, his Japanese and English VA are amazing (bravo ProZD), he went to 5/5 way before I even got a second copy of Masked Royal, his nuke is very easy to set up and very strong, and his theme is so damn cool, my favorite among the four! Sidney certainly stood out to me more after Pokemas, knowing that he’s actually a very chill guy despite his appearance made you think otherwise...is amazing. Love this dude. And even though he probably won’t get a chance to shine (because Dark-weak Phoebe has Sentry Entry x2), I still have the utmost pleasure in battling him...so far, anyway.

Glacia set up Hail before she sync, and Hail activates a myriad of defensive, healing, and possibly offensive (?) passives. Getting rid of her hail as soon as possible is mandatory to end the match quickly. I also noted through Absol’s notes that she had Master Healer 2 for her Draining Kiss, but she hadn’t used that through the match...probably post-sync after she used her Trainer Move? Either way, she needed to be taken down fast before she recovers too much HP for the team to catch up. I think the usual SS Morty/Anni N/SS Red might work here, because the team has so much offensive pressure. Well, let’s see how the real fight goes when that time comes...

Drake set Rain upon entry, activating a whole host of offensive passives related to Rain, including Raging Rain 5. Also he has Acute Senses 4, status change is mandatory to get through the fight.. So, I think this stage is made with SS Ethan in mind, or SS Serena. Which are Master Fairs. God damn it. That said, Zinnia and Rayquaza might also be able to defeat him since she took advantage of any weather condition, but she needs someone to apply status changes--preferably trap, according to the tips. I used BP Zinnia here because she is miles easier to use, but I think Zinnia and Rayquaza is much better because I have SC Lillie to take hits. I don’t think Hilbert can take much offensive pressure boosted with rain passives. Seems like Drake and his companions also prefer using special moves? Hard to say, he was spamming special moves but I took him down two turns before he sync...I regretted it, really.

Phoebe buffs both defenses upon entry, and she also will buff her Attack before sync with her Trainer Move. Because of the parameter I’ve chosen, Phoebe was spamming special moves, though she also did physical occasionally. Because I have Halloween Caitlin with Adrenaline 1, the fight is guaranteed to end pre-sync, especially with Masked Royal’s help to constantly debuff attack and defenses, for Halloween Morty’s nuke. I think Halloween Morty is still the right choice for this stage. Which is great, Phoebe and Morty are fellow ghost type specialists who have abilities to see things that normal people can’t see, and Morty has something to say to Phoebe if you team him up with her, so they’re friends alongside Allister! I’m sure Morty is happy to have a match against or alongside Phoebe. Also, I think I can forego Ghost Zone for Masked Royal’s help to set up Morty’s nuke, though it depends on how consistent the debuffs are, and how Master Mode fight goes. When push comes to shove, I can always change his build to Burn-only nuke (which is more defensive because he has Sync Regen in this build) and use SSR Cynthia to help out with Ghost Zone and powerful Shadow Force.

Steven’s stage...uh, I honestly don’t know. I haven’t seen anything special from him other than spamming strong moves and buffs Accuracy by +2 upon entry, but maybe that’s because SS Serena quickly defeated him before he did anything crazy. However, according to Absol’s notes, Steven has Toughen Up 9 and Tighten Up 9, and he has Endure, possibly from his trainer move just like the real OG Steven. So from this information, he has a chance to likely stall out the match for far too long because he constantly buffs himself, and he has Endure to boot, which is kinda bad except for those lucky souls who have SS Giovanni and Maxie. If the combined offensive pressure isn’t enough, Steven might be able to last long enough to apply Endure and sync, which makes the fight harder, and he also spam strong moves like Iron Head and Hammer Arm, which is especially bad if the fight goes longer. And Ground is pretty scarce as a type too, so...needless to say, I’m not looking forward to face Steven in Master Mode.

[kallard]

A typical night / the flight test

(( The following contains subject material that may be triggering to some, featuring a brief mention of sexual assault, graphic violence and drug use. Read at your own discretion. ))

I'm not afraid to embrace the pain nor the hate

This is who I am, it's who I am

Please don't try to save me

Let me slip, slip away

Kallard and Marilini’s apartment, Ul’dah

After yet another sleepless night, Kallard found himself sitting on the leather sofa he used as a bed in his cramped workshop. He leaned into the plush cushions, staring straight ahead with a blank look on his face. His mind was a chaotic mess, memories tearing through his brain at breakneck speeds. After his recent trip to Garlemald the former soldier was having a difficult time with the sudden resurgence of his past, often getting lost in the flow of memories. It all felt so real, so intense, often tearing him away from reality, past traumas keeping him stuck in the past.

As Kallard was lost in the sea of memories, his twin sister, Marilini, was sound asleep in her bed, snoring quietly. She was covered in a blanket of various plush toys, something she had started doing recently to help cope. Her brother wasn’t always around to help her when things got hard and all of her friends were either dead or dying back home. The twins both felt intensely lonely, living in a land that did not want them.

Marilini had accepted this as her new reality after they had fled their post and country. After her commanding officer violated her, she had completely withdrawn into herself and stopped talking as a result of this. Kallard did what he could to make sure she was okay, but it was difficult when both of them suffered from severe cases of PTSD. Neither of them were capable of functioning like normal people, Kallard hitting the bottle hard and Marilini unable to care of herself as a result of the depression she dealt with on a daily basis.

The only thing driving the twins forward was their bond. Neither of them wanted to see the other suffer so they took turns taking care of each other to the best of their ability. It had been like this since the twins were children, having no one to count on but each other. Life had been hard for them, but they kept fighting, hoping that one day they will find the peace they so desperately want. Their time of service had come to an end and for the first time in their lives, the twins were free to do as they please.

Back in the cluttered workshop, Kallard finally snapped out of his daze. He shuffled down the sofa towards his desk, blindly grabbing a pack of cigarettes and his lighter. One of the cigarettes was placed between his lips, lighting the tip with a flick of his lighter. Kallard puffed on the cancer stick and placed the pack back on the desk before rising to his feet. He reached down and buttoned up his shirt, stopping at the third button from the top, leaving his neck and chest exposed.

After stepping into his clunk work books, he grabbed one of his long coats at random and shrugged it on. He reached up with his right hand, taking hold of the revolver holstered under his left armpit and drew the weapon. Using his thumb, Kallard cocked back the hammer and cycled the chamber with a few soft clicks. Dark blue eyes peered down at the weapon, quickly counting the rounds loaded into the cylinder before he slipped the weapon back into its holster, disabling the hammer as he did so.

Kallard did a quick pocket check, making sure he had a pack of cigarettes, matches, spare ammunition and finally a book to read. Once he was sure he had everything he needed for the day Kallard quietly opened the door to his workshop and stepped out into the main room of the apartment. He kept the door ajar, casting a wedge of light into the dark hallway that fed into the rest of their small home.

Moving over to the chalkboard they kept next to the door, Kallard picked up a small piece of pink chalk. He used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe the board clean before jotting down a quick note to let Marilini know he’s gone and will be back later. Once finished writing the chalk was returned to its slot on the board and Kallard unlocked the front door, opened it and stepped out into the building hallway. He had plans on heading to his workshop but first he needed to pick up some more Somnus, having snorted the rest of his supply last night.

-----

Pearl Lane, Ul’dah

Jameson let out a yawn as he took a seat on the stairs leading into his apartment building, smoking an unfiltered cigarette. His bloodshot eyes looked up and down the Lane which was empty for the most part, save for a few stragglers who had nothing better to do than loiter at the early hours of the morning. The Somnus dealer had gotten a linkpearl call from one of his best clients, Kallard, and had rolled out of bed to serve the man. Normally he wouldn’t roll out of bed this early but Kal was one of his best buyers, so it felt stupid to ignore his linkpearl call.

Eventually Kallard rounded the corner and moved into sight, casually strolling down the street smoking his own cigarette. As he drew closer a single hand was brought up into the air as way of saying hello. Once they were close enough, Jameson reached out and fist bumped Kallard as he yawned loudly.

“Sorry for waking you,” Kallard said as he dropped down to sit next to his dealer.

“No big deal,” came the dealer’s reply. “You buy a lot, which helps me.”

“Well, I appreciate it,” Kal said, truly thankful. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a coin purse filled to the brim with Gil. “Here, this is yours.”

The two quickly exchanged the money for an equal portion of Somnus which was stored in a folded up piece of paper. Kallard undid one section of the fold and poured a small amount of the white powder onto the back of his hand and brought it up to his nose. He quickly snorted the substance and let out a sight of content as he felt a soothing warm feeling wash over his body. It didn’t take long for the Somnus to kick in, washing away his woes.

“How’s that hot sister of yours?” Jameson asked as he watched some of his product vanish into Kal’s nose.

“She’s fine,” Kal snapped back, glaring at the dealer. “Do not refer to her as hot. She has a name.”

“Awww, c’mon man! Can you hook me up? I’ll give you some grade A shit if you do.”

“She’s not a whore, jackass, and neither am I her pimp. I wouldn’t let you within ten feet of her, you scummy piece of shit.”

Jameson’s expression quickly turned dark as he abruptly rose to his feet and balled his hands into tight, white knuckled fists. He turned to face Kallard proper and without warning launched a punch at him. Without moving, Kal took the punch to his face without much of a reaction as he was struck once and then twice. He heard his nose snap as it was broken, his head jerking back from the force of the attack.

Kallard casually rose to his feet and stepped out of a third punch just in time for it to graze the side of his head. His right hand shot up and grabbed Jameson by the wrist and drove his left fist into the crook of the dealer’s elbow. There was a sickening crunch as the joint was forced to bend in a way it was not designed to. Jameson howled in agony as he stumbled backward only to have Kallard grab him by the collar of his shirt.

The two men crashed to the ground, Kallard on top of Jameson. Not content with just a broken arm Kallard would repeatedly punch his dealer in the face a dozen times, adding more power with each blow. In just a matter of seconds Jameson’s face was swollen and bleeding from a handful of lacerations. The dealer let out a pained groan as he rolled around on the ground, cradling his disfigured face with both hands.

“If you ever talk about my sister like that again I will fucking kill you. Do you understand?” Kallard asked as he kicked Jameson in the ribs with one of his steel toe boots, stopping only when he heard one of the man’s rib’s crack.

“’Uck ‘ou!” Jameson managed to get out between gasps for air. He pried one of his hands off his face and raised his middle finger at Kallard.

“Gods, you’re so stupid,” came his reply as he reached out, took Jameson’s hand with his own and pushed back against his middle finger. After hearing the soft POP of the finger being broken Kallard released the dealer’s hand, shrugged and walked off. Enough fun, it was time to get back to work.

----

Kallard’s workshop, Ul’dah

After beating the snot out of his dealer, Kallard quickly retreated to the workshop he had stolen from his now dead commanding officer. Since then he had been slowly removing everything from the storage unit that had been converted into a workshop. It had taken several trips but now the only thing remaining in the storage unit was the prototype Gabriel Alpha.

Thanks to a Hrothgar named Cvetko, Kallard had obtained the final part he needed in order to get the transforming robot to work. He had exchanged one of his old scopes for a circuit board, and after verifying that everything worked, Kallard was finally ready to give this a test drive. The robot let out a soft hum after he toggled the power switch, watching as it ran through its internal startup checklist.

“Good morning,” the machine said after a few moments of silence. The pair of eyes lit up on the robot’s face, studying Kallard with a light blue glue. While the two were locked in a staring contest Clank did a final check of its system by testing the mobility of its arms and legs while also testing the flaps on its wings. “Preflight checklist complete. Where are we headed today?”

“Nothing fancy, Clank. We’re just going to do a test of your movement and flight modes. Are you able to transform now that I’ve replaced your logic board?” Kallard asked as he backed out of the workshop and into the ally outside.

“Correct, this unit is now prepared for flight. Will you be joining me during the test?” Clank asked with its metallic voice as it made its way out of the garage and out into the street.

“Yeah, I’m gonna be on your back. Can you check to see if the controls I added are functional?”

“Correct. The controls you added for manual flight all check out. This unit praises its owner’s technical prowess.”

“Go ahead and transform. We’ll complete the flight test outside the city,” Kallard said, keeping a close eye on the machine.

Clank jumped up into the air and his jets flared to life, going from a quiet fan to a small rocket engine in the span of five seconds. In what could easily be described as a blur, the once bipedal robot backflipped and realigned its joints so that it resembled a flying machine. Due to the placement of the jets, Clank was able to hover in place, swaying back and forth gently. Kallard let out a low whistle and clapped his hands together.

“Cvetko, I owe you a drink,” Kallard said with a toothy grin. “Alright, Clank, just give me a minute to get on board and we can get the test underway. You ready?��

“Affirmative,” came the machine’s reply.

Kallard moved around the robot and made his way onto its back with a little help from Clank. He laid down flat and strapped himself in before taking hold of the controls but let the machine do the work for now. Once they were airborne he would test the flight stick and weapon controls, not wanting to do either in the city. It was bad enough he was powering the engine, most likely waking up half the city with how loud the jets were. Not wanting to draw attention Kallard got comfortable on the back of Clank, situated between the wings.

“Alright, let’s move,” Kallard said with a nod of his head.

Even though he knew it was coming, Kallard let out a whoop of air as Clank suddenly surged upwards. It rose over the buildings in a blink of an eye, suddenly going from street level to hovering above Ul’dah. Were Kallard afraid of heights, this alone would’ve been enough to break him. But, he wasn’t. If anything he enjoyed the thrill, knowing that if either him or the machine made one wrong move they’d both be dead.

The moment the two were above the tallest building in Ul’dah Clank opened up the throttle and took off flying east. Kallard was suddenly very thankful he got his harness enchanted so that it wouldn’t break, even under extreme stress.  If he had gone the cheap route the cabling would’ve snapped just now and he would’ve fallen to his death.

“Whoooa, fuck!’ Kallard let out as Clank applied the throttle once more, putting the harness to work. He could feel his body pressing up against it, suddenly feeling like it wasn’t going to be enough. The idea of using magnets crossed through his mind as Clank did a barrel roll, Kallard’s stomach jumping up to his throat.

It appeared as if Clank knew what to do for a flight test, making sure it tested all functionalities at a safe speed. The last thing the machine wanted was to kill its owner during something as simple as a flight test. How long would it be before it found another suitable owner? It had spent a great deal of time in storage and something deep in its programming enjoyed the freedom. Clank then decided that he would keep Kallard alive, knowing that without him this feeling of freedom would die with him.

It didn’t take long for Kal to realize just how much fun this was. He’d flown a few times but nothing felt as exhilarating as this. Maybe it was due to how dangerous it was to fly around with just a harness keeping you in place. Kallard pushed the thoughts out of his mind and simply enjoyed being in the moment. He trusted Clank not to do anything stupid, knowing that it must have some kind of self preservation.

The seconds became minutes and eventually, several hours later, Clank returned the pair to Ul’dah, setting down before the gates. Kallard undid the straps keeping him tethered to the machine and hopped off once he was free. His hair was an absolute mess, slicked back due to the drag his body created during flight. Kal reached up and ruffled his hair, returning it to its usual unkempt appearance.

“That was fun,” he said, looking up at Clank. “How’s your fuel?”

“Depleted. I require more if you intend on flying me again,” Clank replied, affixing its glowing eyes on its owner. “Should I expect to be used on a regular basis?”

“Oh, yes, of course. I’ve been making bullets for your machine gun this past week. I should have enough to fill your reserves in a few more days. Damn shame the automation of Garlemald doesn’t exist, otherwise I’d just buy the fucking things.”

Clank just stared at Kallard, unable to offer a response.

“Right. So, I’m going to keep you somewhere new. I’m working on building a new workshop in my employer’s estate. I’ve already input the location into your system, so you should be able to find it without any issue. Oh, and I also got your remote to work. I’ll ping you if I ever need your help.”

“Affirmative. I will make my way over to the estate now,” Clank said as it started walking in the direction of the Goblet.

“Right. I’ll call you if I need you. Be safe!” Kallard called out, watching the robot saunter away.  He then turned towards the city gates and made his way back into Ul’dah, still feeling the effects of the natural high he got while flying.

For now, it was time to loiter and see if anything interesting was happening.

[kyovtani]

𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒚𝒐𝒖 – 𝒊𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒛𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒉𝒂𝒋𝒊𝒎𝒆

࿏ pairing: iwaizumi hajime x chubby female reader ࿏ genre: fluff, smut, angst; best friends to lovers!AU ࿏ word count: 11.6k (at this point i have no explanation, im sorry) ࿏ warnings: swearing, mentions of body image issues, self doubts, anxiety, bullying, fat shaming; as well as violence and blood (iwa gets into a fight mwah); ddlg (daddy dom-little girl) dynamics, soft dom!iwa, body worship, praising, sugarcoated degradation, spitting, choking, fingering, face riding, unprotected sex

࿏ Summary: After four years of trying to get over your stupid crush on your best friend, said male finally comes back home and all of a sudden all of those plans are thrown overboard...

Even though you‘ve known about it for so long now, you still feel your heart skip a beat when Matsukawa mentions his return to Japan and no matter how hard you try to, you can‘t help the way the disgusting mixture of anxiety, nervousness and excitement starts filling your veins.

After all it‘s been literal years since you‘ve last seen him.

Iwaizumi Hajime, former Seijoh Ace, now freshly majored athletic trainer, your best friend of ten years and — love of your life.

However, of course he doesn‘t know about the latter and as pathetic as it may sound, you‘re quite proud of yourself for hiding your feelings for him so well that he hasn‘t suspected anything in all these years the two of you have been friends.

Of course it‘s painful and basically nothing but literal torture to watch the guy you‘ve lost your heart to years ago, move on with his life thinking he‘s nothing but a friend to you, but you know you‘d always choose this pain over the one of rejection and shame.

Because after all you‘re not his type or what he looks for in a partner and you're very much aware of it.

And no matter how many times you daydream about a life as his girlfriend, you won’t ever forget about the fact that Iwaizumi Hajime, basically a literal athlete, would never date someone who looked like you.

Growing up on the bigger side, physically wise, has always been difficult and something you're struggling with to this day. You had always hoped for those extra pounds to disappear once you hit puberty, just like it had happened to all of your friends but those hopes were quickly destroyed when you still found yourself hiding from full length mirrors to avoid having to look at your own body in your third year of High School.

By the time you turned eighteen, you had tried every kind of diet in hopes of losing weight but all of them just ended with you losing motivation and every bit of your happiness and even though you still struggle with it in your mid-twenties, you‘ve come to terms with it.

This is who you are and despite taking literal decades to realize it, you‘ve slowly but surely started accepting it.

However, when it comes to relationships, you‘ve given up completely.

After years and years of being rejected, hidden, fat shamed and disrespected by men who hated their own attraction to bigger women, you stopped wasting your time and energy on dating. If you wanted to hear someone shame you for being big, you could just go home to your family or back in your memory to remember all those mean things the skinny girls in your school had thrown at you.

Or you could just look in the mirror and let your brain do the job after eating literally anything.

Just thinking about a guy like Iwaizumi looking at you in that way has you chuckling coldly and every time you imagine confessing to him, it ends with a broken heart on your side because your brain loves to keep things realistic and never once have you considered the possibility of him liking you back.

It‘s not that Iwaizumi, or any of the Seijoh Volleyball boys, have treated you badly or even slightly differently in the three years you were their manager, but after having to deal with fat shaming your whole life, it has become quite difficult for you to believe that anyone found you attractive at all.

Especially people like the widely known Seijoh third years who also happen to – still – be your closest friends.

And unfortunately, as glad as you are that Iwaizumi remains rather oblivious to your year-long crush on him, the other boys, including the professional athlete to be, Oikawa Tōru who’s currently living his best life in Argentina are pretty much aware of your feelings for the trainer.

So, just as usual whenever the topic of Iwaizumi Hajime enters the conversation between the other two, you’re met with pitying stares from Takahiro and a lot of teasing coming from Issei. But at this point you’ve gotten quite used to it and don’t mind the brunette’s words, whereas you still find yourself growing absolutely annoyed at the way Makki stared at you.

“Stop staring at me like that, Hiro!”, you hiss and roll your eyes, the pity in his face so evident, if you didn’t know any better you’d think he’s mocking you.

“Just confess to him already!”, the strawberryblonde hisses, running one of his pale hands through his locks before he takes a big sip from his beer.

“Yeah, sure!”, you spit back, your words dripping in sarcasm and annoyance as you try to avoid your chest from growing even heavier at the thought of your best friend coming back after all those years.

“He broke up with that blondie months ago”, Matsukawa begins, his naturally sleepy gaze roaming your face attentively, “and he’s coming back to Japan. Now you really have no excuse left, Y/N”, and just as usual his words hit the right spot and all you can do is let out a shaky sigh before the intensity of your insecurities breaks down onto you like a huge wave.

“I‘m not his type, Mattsun”, you hiss, the bitter taste of reality coating the muscle of your tongue in the worst way possible, “and I‘ve had enough males reject and– or fat shame me. If I have to add Hajime to that list as well, it’s going to break me.”

You feel the two males’ soft gazes on you, whereas you can‘t help but focus on the napkin in between your fingers in hopes of distracting yourself from all those dark thoughts by nervously pulling at it.

“Iwa‘s not like that, Y/N”, Makki replies, brows furrowed in irritation; something you've grown quite used to seeing whenever the topic of your body image issues occured.

“Has he ever dated a big girl before, hm?”, you reply and look at him with arched brows and your lips pressed into a thin line. At the lack of response from the two men in front of you, you just lean back and nod.

“That‘s the point”, you take another deep, shaky breath; the tears threatening to spill from your glossy eyes at the thought of your pretty faced best friend and only men in your heart, “nobody likes women who look like me in that certain way, my loves. Every guy I‘ve been and slept with wanted to hide me or the relationship we had because they didn‘t want to be seen with a big girl.”

Suddenly you‘re hit with the memory of all those times you went home after any kind of intercourse with a male who had brought your hopes up with sugarcoated lies. Only to receive a harsh reality check when they asked you to not tell anyone about it, knowing it‘s simply because of the fact you aren‘t part of society‘s beauty standards.

“Y/N, we-”, “I‘m not talking about you two”, you‘re quick to interrupt Hanamaki, giving him a soft smile, “I know you don‘t care about it and sometimes I find myself wishing I would have fallen for one of you instead of the professional trainer”, you let out an empty, coldhearted chuckle before you finish your glass of wine in one go.

“I would fuck you without hesitation”, Mattsun shrugs, his plump lips stretching into a playful smirk and the tiny hint of seriousness in his gaze has you rolling your eyes with a soft scoff.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Issei”, Makki hisses and gives his best friend the same reaction as you.

“What? I‘m being serious! You know this isn‘t the first time I‘m offering this to you, pretty one”, the brunette replies and this time you can‘t help but chuckle softly at his words, showing him your appreciation for his ability to make such heavy topics vanish from the surface so easily.

“Thank you, Issei but that guy I met on Tinder has been ghosting me for two weeks after we fucked and that‘s why I‘ve had enough dick for now”, and just when you let your gaze roam over the brunette‘s handsome face, you watch Hanamaki‘s face brighten up suddenly and furrow your brows in confusion.

“Hearing Y/N talk about dick is definitely not what I was expecting to come back to but it‘s surely a surprise!”

And upon hearing the familiar voice of your best friend, you understand the reason behind the change in Makki’s expression.

You watch the other two get up from their chairs, approaching the freshly majored trainer with the biggest smiles plastered on their faces whereas you try your best to stay as calm as possible.

However, the simple thought of Iwaizumi coming back had already stressed you out and having him stand behind you in all his glory made the tightness in your chest and the struggle to take proper breaths intensify just like that.

After what feels like an eternity you finally get yourself to stand up as well, turning around literally convinced you‘re ready to see him again after all these years only for it to be the exact opposite.

Your heart skips a whole beat at the sight of Iwaizumi and for a quick second you feel yourself getting dizzy from the lack of oxygen in your lungs.

“Hey”, he mumbles, his voice deep and raspy, something you‘re used to since the two of you have been talking regularly on the phone over the time yet hearing it in person again sends a jolt of hot arousal right into your core.

You nervously let your eyes roam his face; taking in the sight of his features, which have become even sharper during his absence. A soft sigh falls past your lips when you find the little scar right underneath his eyebrow which he had gotten back in middle school during one of his volleyball practices. The familiarity and feeling of security in the soft expression of his pretty, dark green eyes calms you down in an instant and by the time you feel your muscles ease up a bit, he‘s already approaching you with open arms.

Different than you’ve expected from yourself, you‘re quick to wrap your arms around his slim waist, taking him into your embrace with the intention of never letting him go again and at the feeling of his big hands on your body, you can‘t help but tear up a little.

You sniffle softly against the crook of his neck, Iwaizumi letting out a breathy chuckle at your sweet reaction as he caresses your back gently, subconsciously massaging your soft flesh to calm you down even more.

“Seems like someone missed me a lot more than she wanted to admit on the phone, hm?”, Iwa mumbles softly, placing the sweetest kiss on the top of your head as he holds you tight.

Matsukawa and Hanamaki let out a row of deep chuckles, partly laughing at your obvious reaction and partly because of their best friend‘s blatant oblivion.

“Shut up”, you reply with a sniff, taking in the light yet intense smell of his aftershave as well as the scent of detergent you had missed oh so much.

“Enough now, Y/N”, Mattsun huffs, “you can cuddle his stupid ass some other time, let‘s catch up with Mister America”, he adds and you know too well the tall brunette simply does it to stop you from falling even further into this dark hole you‘ve dug yourself; all those years ago.

Throughout the whole night, you stay rather quiet; listening to Iwaizumi‘s stories, more so to his voice but definitely his stories, too.

And every time he mentions some random girl he hooked up with or one of his ex girlfriends, you can literally feel the way he‘s avoiding your gaze; his eyes moving away from your face to focus on the guys as his voice turns a little less enthusiastic. You try your best not to read anything into it, knowing he‘s always been more hesitant towards you when it came to topics like this and in some way you find yourself appreciating it because it definitely helps to make the pain in your chest a little less heavy.

The atmosphere between the four of you remains calm; the familiarity something you‘ve always missed despite you and the other two boys spending just as much time together as you used to back in High School. Having Iwaizumi in your little circle again definitely has changed the air and it‘s in times like these you realize just how close you all actually are.

However, when Hanamaki and Matsukawa both stand up, cigarettes firmly placed between their plump lips, telling the two of you to give them a few minutes, you feel yourself slowly wandering into a state of anxiousness and slight panic.

It‘s not like you haven‘t talked to him alone during his stay in America, but the thought of having to look him in the eyes as you speak has always been something you‘ve struggled with.

Iwaizumi has this certain expression in his beautiful, dark green eyes, which makes it so much harder to not fall for him even more.

You don‘t know if it‘s the confidence and lack of insecurity or the mixture of softness and home which have the butterflies in your stomach go absolutely crazy.

Neither of you say anything for a good minute, your eyes glued to your phone screen which continuously lights up; Oikawa‘s name appearing several times.

You excuse yourself to give the professional athlete the responses he‘s waiting for, rolling your eyes at his way of telling you to shoot your shot at Iwa and “get that D”.

“Are you still talking to that one guy you told me about?”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his eyes never once leaving yours and with a soft chuckle, you shake your head; enjoying the amount of protectiveness dripping from his words.

“We fucked and then he ghosted me”, you say casually, not realizing that it‘s not one of the other two boys you‘re talking to and with a soft gasp of embarrassment you try to mumble your way out of the situation.

“Iwa, I‘m-”, “Why the fuck would he even do that? Give me his fucking address so I can introduve his kneecaps to my baseball bat”, he‘s quick to interrupt you harshly, his tone filled with anger as his eyes gleam with wrath.

“It‘s okay”, you smile softly, placing your hand on his balled fists to calm him down again, “he told me not to tell anyone that we did it so his intentions have never been good. And on top of that – his dick game was so bad, I didn‘t even get to finish but had to take care of it myself, so it‘s definitely not worth the headache.”

You watch Iwaizumi‘s expression darken even further, his beautiful dark green eyes roaming your face with irritation oozing from his gaze and for a second you like to believe that there‘s even a hint of jealousy in between all those intense emotions but just as usual you find yourself shaking it off rather quickly.

“Why did he ask you not to tell anyone? What the fuck is even wrong with that guy?”, the brunette spits, downing the rest of his beer in one go.

You know why he‘s this angry and at this point you can’t even blame him anymore. Iwaizumi has never really understood why you put up with guys who treated you like absolute shit; continuously telling you how you deserved so much better and even though you wanted to agree, you simply couldn‘t. Because in your head, all those men who were ashamed of being with you yet still found their way to your door were exactly what was meant to be your life.

“Because being with a woman like me isn‘t anything he‘s proud of, Iwa”, you sigh, the words heavy and bitter on your tongue as you struggle to voice the hard reality.

“A woman like you?”, he replies and you see the genuine confusion on his handsome face, making his oblivion sweet almost.

“A big woman, Iwaizumi. Guys don‘t date big girls because we don‘t fit into society‘s beauty standards so being with us is something they‘re ashamed of because God forbid someone thinks they find us attractive“, you nervously play with the hem of your skirt, not having the courage to look into his face as those thing leave your lips, too embarrassed to meet his usually so welcoming and soft, but now wrath-filled gaze.

“That‘s bullshit”, Hajime is quick to spit back, hating the way you belittle yourself like that because of a random guy.

You smile, a soft scoff falling past your lips before you take a sip from the glass in front of you and even though you know you‘re going to regret those words, you still can‘t get yourself to stop from leaving you.

“Then why have you never dated a big girl, Haji?”, your voice is slightly shaky yet you remain the eye contact like a champion, never once averting your gaze from his handsome face even though the thrumming of your heart in your throat makes it so much more difficult to stay focused.

Iwaizumi seems taken aback; your words obviously hitting a place he wasn‘t expecting and that‘s when the feeling of guilt reaches its peak.

“I‘m not- It‘s not because I don‘t find them attractive I just- I uhm-”, the freshly majored professional trainer stumbles over his words like a two-year-old who just started learning how to speak and at the sight of a deep blush covering the apples of his cheeks as well as the tip of his nose and the whole of his neck, you let out a soft sigh.

“You don‘t have to explain yourself, Iwaizumi. I wasn‘t trying to accuse you of anything or offend you in any way, I promise. It’s just a topic I‘ve grown really tired of in the past few years”, you explain, making sure to choose your words carefully and when the tall male suddenly starts calming down again, you know you‘ve got him.

“Y/N, look-”, “Hey, Y/N the weak-dick-game guy is sitting at the bar with his ugly friends, just for your information”, Matsukawa‘s deep voice quickly cuts Iwaizumi off, his words sending shivers down your spine in the most disgusting way possible and with an almost painful roll of your eyes, you down the rest of your best friend‘s beer.

“Wait- What? Which one is it?”, Iwaizumi grunts, the calmness from a few seconds ago completely gone as you look at him with brows furrowed in slight irritation and annoyance.

“It doesn‘t matter, Iwa”, you say and wrap your fingers around his tattooed wrist, making him look into your eyes with another soft exhale, “he‘s not worth it. Just let it go.”

“Y/N, I said”, Iwaizumi is quick to place one of his big hands on your cheek, the dominance in his aura and the authority gleaming in his eyes has you gasping for air and just as usual you feel your panties growing wetter by the minute, “which one is it?”

His words don‘t leave room for protest; so strict and demanding, no matter how hard you try to think rationally, his naturally dominant persona has you submitting to him in a way no other guy has ever managed to.

“T-The one with the long, dark purple Hair”, you quickly reply, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s anger and determination.

“Good girl”, he mumbles and pulls away, not even aware of the way his praise has your cunt throbbing like crazy and you absolutely hate him for it.

For a second you can‘t even get back to reality, the haze of arousal and longing for the tall male standing in front of you completely taking over your consciousness.

However, as soon as your brain registers Makki‘s panicked voice, you‘re quick to snap back and without missing another beat, you grab Iwaizumi‘s arm and look at him with pleading eyes.

“Please don‘t make a scene”, you whisper, knowing oh too well how much he loves to get himself in trouble because of his friends.

“He fucked then ghosted you all that while saying he doesn‘t want anyone to know he was with you because you're a big girl? That ugly fucker needs a fucking reality check because he can count himself hella fucking lucky to ever get a go with a woman as amazing and hot as you”, Iwaizumi hisses, his words filled with anger yet so, so sweet that without giving it another thought, you simply let go and try not to show him just how flustered he‘s gotten you.

“Are you guys about to kiss right now?”, Matsukawa suddenly says and with an almost audible roll of your eyes you lift your hand up, showing him your middle finger before you watch Iwaizumi‘s brows furrow even further with visible irritation.

“Then don‘t fight him”, you sigh, “please, Hajime, don‘t get yourself in trouble for a guy who‘s not worth it.”

“We‘ll see about it”, is all he says before he moves out of your tight grip, leaving you to stand at the table like that.

You feel your heart picking up its pace at the sight of the love of your life approaching your ex-hook up; several worst case scenarios popping up in your head within a few short seconds. And unfortunately every single one ends with Hajime throwing his fist into the guy‘s face because of his raging anger issues; something he‘s been trying to handle throughout his whole life.

“Makki, please do something”, you whimper and look at the strawberryblonde with glossy eyes; shivers running down your spine at the sudden sound of Hajime's deep voice cutting through the music of the bar.

“Not into you my fucking ass”, Takahiro hisses and follows Iwaizumi with quick steps, whereas Matsukawa remains next to you, watching the scene unfold with the fattest, shit eating grin on his face.

And while you‘re worried about Iwaizumi‘s well-being, said male can‘t even seem to think straight. The only thing he manages to focus on is the raging anger and hot wrath rushing through his veins at the thought of some random, small dicked guy treating you like dirt. With every step he takes, it seems to get worse and at some point the professional trainer is worried about his physical health because of the pace his heart is hammering against his rib cage with.

Iwaizumi has always struggled to understand why you put up with males who are literally unworthy of your presence yet every time he had asked, you simply shrugged and told him that this was how you were meant to be loved. Behind closed doors, hidden away from the world by people who literally worship the society‘s beauty standard.

And all of that when you‘ve had him right in front of you for all those years, ready to love and worship every bit of your body and soul.

Of course for you to let him love you he might have had to tell you about his feelings but as the years passed by, Iwaizumi slowly started to lose every bit of hope he had left. During his four year long absence you‘ve had your fair share of boyfriends and after the third one, the only choice he had left was to force himself to move on or else he would have lost his mind.

It‘s not like he never wanted to confess during High School but there was just something holding him back. The thought of losing you was heavy on his chest especially because Iwaizumi was very well aware you didn‘t feel the same. So for his own sake he chose not to tell you about his feelings for you; not even bearing the mental image of going through such rough times without you by his side.

He‘s already lost count of the amount of times he wanted to scream at you about how he would treat you just how you truly deserved to be treated and not like those douchebags who liked to use you for their own pleasure just to throw you away like a used tissue once they were done.

And after not being able to physically do anything for you because of the distance, he‘s finally got the chance to show you that no, those guys‘ behavior is not okay and yes, putting them back into their place is absolutely worth the headache.

“Hey”, the trainer hisses, coming to stand directly in front of the tall, purple haired guy, Rin Matsuoka,  who‘s quick to harden his expression upon seeing the brunette.

“What can I help you with, big guy?”, Rin mumbles, placing his bottle of beer on the counter with his brows raised in curiosity.

Iwaizumi doesn‘t even waste another minute as he harshly grabs the collar of Rin‘sblack leather jacket, pulling him closer to himself. His friends  rather quickly, yet Hanamaki and this time even Matsukawa are faster, coming to stand right next to each one of them with their arms firmly placed in front of their bodies to stop them from intervening.

“You‘re gonna listen to me and you‘re gonna listen good, did you fucking hear me?”, and just like a few minutes ago, Hajime‘s voice is cold and distant, not leaving room for discussion all while making sure to keep his tight grip.

The confusion and immense irritation is clearly visible on Rin‘s features; brows furrowed, jaw tensed and eyes gleaming with some kind of unnameable anger.

And the longer you watch the situation unfold, the heavier the anxiety in your system becomes and as you struggle to take proper breaths, you find yourself approaching your best friends; not wanting him to get his hands dirty on a guy like Matsuoka.

“What the-”, “Iwa please, he‘s not worth it..”, you say and wrap your fingers around his wrist, trying to find his gaze with desperate eyes only for him to gulp harshly and calmly tell you to take a step back.

“You?”, Rin spits, his dark eyes boring into your side as you try to ignore him; the amount of humiliation and shame washing over your body way too overwhelming to handle.

“Haji, let‘s just go, please”, you whisper, taking his face into your hands, his skin literally burning underneath your fingertips.

“No, Y/N, this stupid bastard has to understand that you can‘t just go and treat women like absolute dirt and get away with it”, Iwaizumi moves out of your soft touch, making Rin shift his attention back on you before the deep voice of one of his friends cuts through the tension.

“What the fuck is he talking about, Rin? Do you know her?”, the blonde says, his tone rather degrading when talking about you and at the way his eyes roam your body with a rather opposed expression show you exactly why that‘s the case.

“N-No, I don‘t!”, he‘s quick to defend himself, his eyes shifting to his friends with sheer panic filling the dark color and you feel your heart sink and the disgusting feeling of shame rushing through your veins.

“You‘re such a fucking piece of shit, Rin”, you hiss and swallow your tears; the taste bitter as the realization of being sometjing to be ashamed of hits you yet again.

“You definitely weren‘t acting like this when you fucked me”, you add and roll your eyes, taking a step back as the anger overcomes you and you basically give Iwaizumi a silent free pass to do whatever the hell he needs to, “or better said – when you tried to. It wasn‘t like I came with your weak dick game anyway so..”

“You fucked that fat bitch? Oh, yikes”, the other friend suddenly says, his words hitting you in the face like literal bricks and before you can even take your next breath or shift your eyes to the face the voice belongs to, the guy suddenly falls to the floor, holding his bloody nose.

You let out a shocked gasp, your eyes falling to Hanamaki who‘s busy shaking his hand, his knuckles already reddened and slightly bruised as he looks at you with a satisfied grin, “no one gets to call my best friend a bitch.”

“I was full on drunk and- do you really think I‘d fuck her sober?”, Rin tries to talk himself out of it and with a cold chuckle you throw your head back.

“How the fuck dare you talk to her like that”, is the last thing Iwaizumi spits before he throws his fist right into Rin‘s face with a deep grunt.

Another loud shriek escapes your lips and suddenly the anger and anxiety seem to leave your body and a huge wave of adrenaline hits you at the sight of your ex-hook up falling to the floor and Iwaizumi quickly moving with him.

For what feels like a whole hour but is probably nothing longer than a minute, you‘re literally frozen; your eyes the only moving part of your body as you watch your best friends break their knuckles on the jaws of literal strangers to them.

The following hour passes by in a blur. You can‘t really remember how or who separated them from those guys, or how you got yourself to call an uber and manage to get the four of you to your flat.

By the time the adrenaline stops making the blood rush in your ear, you‘re taking care of Matsukawa‘s wounds with shaky hands; the two others holding ice packs to their faces to ease the swelling of their bruises.

“Stop sighing so much”, Iwaizumi suddenly says, his dark eyes focusing the movements of your hands before he looks at you with a slightly softer expression, “we did what we had to do. And I‘m glad we did it. Those guys already looked so fucking punchable”, he explains and with a scolding scoff you press your lips to a thin line.

“You‘re back in Japan for how long? Two days? Yet already got yourself in trouble, a physical fight at that, Hajime. You‘re not your High School self anymore, start behaving that way, please”, you reply and hand Mattsun a plastic bag filled with ice cubes, softly caressing his bruised cheek before you stand up from your place on the floor.

“You got yourself one hell of a mouth while I was gone,  huh?”, he replies cockily, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue before he follows you into the bathroom.

You feel your body heating up at his words, the sexual tension laying underneath the surface slowly finding its way to you again and with a soft sigh, you ignore the brunette.

“How was I supposed to let him say all those things to you and not do anything, Y/N?”, Iwaizumi replies, a pouty word of gratitude leaving his lips when you take his big hand into yours and start cleaning up the blood on his bruised knuckles.

You try your best to stop your thoughts from wandering to sinful places yet images of those pretty, tattooed fingers wrapped around your throat and knuckle deep buried inside of your cunt have already filled your mind by the time you lower your gaze from his face.

“I‘m used to-”, “That does not make it okay, Y/N”, your best friend suddenly says, taking your chin in between his fingers to lift your head and look at you with those beautiful, dark green eyes.

“You deserve so, so much better and I‘m glad I can finally tell you this in person after all those years. Please stop letting douches like him take advantage of you”, he sighs, taking your hands into his and pulling you a little bit closer to himself.

“It‘s that or Matsukawa‘s cock and I‘d rather have a stranger emotionally pain me than my best friend, so-”, “What? What the fuck are you talking about?”, Iwaizumi interrupts you harshly, your words obviously irritating him.

“After my last boyfriend dumped me a year ago I‘ve only had casual flings because I got tired of using my hand to get off and Matsukawa offered to take care of it instead. But then again, it‘s just a lot less complicated with a stranger than it is with your best friend, that‘s why I‘m putting up with shit like this”, you explain to him and walk back into the living room where Mattsun and Makki are currently busy with your leftover take out from the previous night.

“So if it wasn‘t for that, you‘d let him fuck you?”, Iwaizumi‘s tone has turned cold again, the softness gone and replaced by something a little thicker and more intense than anger. And when you turn around to look at him, you see literal jealousy gleaming in the green color surrounding his iris, basically leaving you speechless.

“Why do you even care, Iwa?”, you reply, dramatically throwing your hands into the air as his tensed demeanor sends you in some kind of haze of irritation.

“Answer my fucking question, Y/N”, is all you get in response; the brunette closing the distance between the two of you with a few small steps and it‘s the lack of space between your faces that has you realizing just how unevenly he‘s breathing.

Your heart starts slamming against your rib cage with rather brutal pace, your head spinning from the sudden adrenaline shooting through your body and on top of all of it you feel your cunt clenching around nothing like crazy as Iwaizumi’s heavy scent fills your nose.

“Yes”, you say and feel your voice breaking, “yes, I would fuck Matsukawa because why not? Hm, Iwaizumi? There‘s nothing else stopping me from it other than-”, “You can‘t and won‘t fuck him”, he suddenly interrupts your outburst, his expression as dark as ever as he softly pushes you against wall.

“I think this is the moment where we‘re supposed to leave”, Makki mumbles, pulling Mattsun from the couch before they gather their things and leave the two of you to yourself.

As the silence surrounds the two of you, the tension grows even thicker, heavier, more present than before and with every breath you take you feel yourself growing more and more aroused.

“And why is that, hm? I can and will fuck whoever I want”, you spit back, trying so hard ot not let the arousal get to your head yet the disgusting urge to submit to Iwaizumi‘s naturally dominant personality slowly starts overwhelming you.

Hajime chuckles deeply, his eyes lazily roaming your face, pressing his strong body even further against yours as your head starts spinning more and more with every second passing by.

“Iwa…”, you whimper softly, throwing your head back and harshly digging gripping the soft fabric of his shirt; the close contact makes you a lot more nervous than before.

He slowly takes a deep breath before he bends down to let his nose graze your jawline, and eventually letting his mouth find its way to your ear.

“Because no one can fuck you like I can, pretty one”, Iwaizumi whispers, his voice a whole octave deeper than just a few seconds before and you hate the way every single one of his words sends a single, hot jolt of arousal right into your core.

“And”, you hear him inhale sharply, his hands finding their way to your hips, groping the soft flesh firmly in his palms before he takes a short break and then pulls away to look at you again, “no one can love you like I can.”

At the sound of those words, your eyes snap open within a second your heart skips a literal beat.

“W-What?”, you whisper, your throat completely dried up, your head desperately trying to process what he’s just said and just as your body is about to fall into some kind of haze, you feel yourself drowning in a wave of anxiety at the thought of having misheard him.

“I love you, Y/N”, Iwaizumi says just when those thoughts are about to take over you.

“Ha-Hajime…”, you mumble; your bottom lip starts to quiver as tears pricker at the corners of your eyes, the first few finding their way down your cheek in an instant.

A few seconds of silence pass in which you two just look at each other, Iwaizumi’s pupils blown out, cheeks tinted in the deepest shade of red and plump lips parted as he also tries to understand what just happened.

After all these years of imagining what it might be like to hear these kind of words from the love of your life, it’s finally become reality and the longer you look at him, the lighter the weight on your chest becomes.

“I’m sorry if I ruined our friendship with this but I just – couldn’t keep it to myself any longer. When I was in America I had promised myself to confess as soon as possible when I’m back so here I am. Those men don’t deserve you. Neither do I but I would have hated myself forever if I didn’t at least try. So”, he finishes his sudden explanation with another deep exhale before he takes a step back, his glossy eyes wandering from yours down to the floor, “thank you for everything and please take care.”

And fortunately your body acts a lot faster than your mind because while you still try to process his soft, sweet words – the words you’ve been dying to hear for so, so long – you find yourself tightening your grip on his shirt and pulling him back into you with a soft sob.

“I love you, too”, you whisper against his lips, pressing your forehead against his as your eyes flutter shut at the overwhelming warmth coming from his body.

“Fuck, baby”, Iwaizumi chuckles breathlessly, wrapping his arms around your body and burying his face in the crook of your neck, “I’m one lucky bastard, aren’t I?”

You smile brightly at his genuine and soft words, the feeling of coming home – a place you’ve longed for literal years – slowly breaks down onto you in the form of waves and for the first time in a really long time, you don’t mind being overwhelmed like that.

“So that means that you’re mine now?”, Iwaizumi whispers, pulling away and taking your face into his big hands, the smell of blood grazing your nose yet easily gets overshadowed by the way he’s looking at you as if you were holding the whole world in your hands.

You nod and move further into his touch, enjoying the feeling of being so safe and secure in one’s hands after not even feeling comfortable with anyone in years.

“T-Thank you for loving me, Iwa”, you gulp harshly, looking at him with teary eyes at the memory of all those who had managed to break your heart in the past years.

“No, baby”, he sighs, pressing the softest kiss right onto your lips, “thank you for letting me love you. When I say you’re literally everything I’ve ever dreamed of, I’m not even exaggerating because that’s what you are to me. A dream come true”, those are the last words Hajime mumbles before he pulls you into a proper kiss; not giving you the opportunity to reply.

The kiss starts off slow and calm. As if both of you were still trying to understand that this was actually happening because despite the hesitant movements, neither of you can hide the intense hunger lingering underneath every soft peck.

Iwaizumi, just as usual, lacks the patience to keep it going like that, not even trying to take it easier for even longer as he pulls your chin down and calmly pushes his tongue into your mouth, easily eliciting a soft moan from you. Your fingers find home in his brown curls, pulling at the thick strands and finally making him grunt right against your tongue; the deep sound sending vibrations and sweet little jolts of excitement through your whole body.

You slowly feel his hands wander; first starting off caressing your back, groping the soft flesh of your waist as well as the fingers of his right hand softly digging into your skin and for a second. You allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper into the perfect feeling of his touch until suddenly a mental image of his most recent ex-girlfriend pops up in your head and you stop functioning completely.

Iwaizumi lets his lips wander down your chin, placing a row of open mouthed kisses on your jaw before he moves to your neck and pulls the sensitive skin into his mouth without wasting another minute. The feeling of his hot tongue on your skin has your eyes rolling into the back of your head as you desperately try to distract yourself from your anxiety‘s attempt to ruin this for you.

You let out a soft whimper when Hajime wraps one of his big hands around one of your tits, harshly groping the flesh while rubbing his hard, clothed cock against your thick thigh.

His deep grunts and needy touches have you ruining your panties in no time to the point where the lacey fabric is literally sticking to your hot flesh in a rather uncomfortable way.

“Need you, baby”, Iwaizumi grunts, the movements of his hips rather sloppy and rushed yet so, so genuine and sweet, you can‘t help but smile softly.

“You got me, Haji”, you reply and take his handsome face into your hands, caressing his cheeks with your thumbs, “I‘m all yours.”

“Fuck, baby”, he moans and suddenly pulls away, his hands finding their way to the hem of your dress before he meets your eyes and wordlessly asks for your consent.

You give him a quick nod, pushing the voice of your anxiety all the way to the back of your head as Hajime slowly pushes the fabric up your thighs, revealing more and more skin before his eyes roll into the back of his eyes at the sight of your black lace panties.

He doesn‘t waste much time; quickly pulling the rest of it over your head and then taking a whole step back to let his greedy eyes roam your body with lust and nothing but adoration.

And when you realize your current, exposed state you take a deep breath to hold those insecurities back, however they‘re a lot faster than you are.

You nervously try to cover your naked body with your arms. Just the thought of him finding you and your body disgusting breaks your heart into pieces and with shivers of shame rushing down your spine, you lower your gaze.

“L-Look, I know it‘s not what you‘re used to and I- you don‘t have to touch me. I can just suck your cock or give you a handjob if you feel more comfortable that way”, you say, your voice a mere whisper and eventually breaking at the end when you give in to the tears.

“Baby…”, Iwaizumi sighs, pain evident in the tone of his voice. He calmly takes your wrists into his big hands before he pulls your arms away from your body, softly asking you to look at him and after what feels like an eternity, you manage to lift your head only to be met with nothing but warm, dark green eyes.

“You‘re fucking perfect”, he whispers and places a tiny little kiss on your lips, leaving you longing for more as he pulls away right afterwards, “there‘s literally nothing I would change about you.”

At the sound of those sweet words, you simply cannot hold back your tears any longer. You look at Iwaizumi with a quivering bottom lip as you let out a row of soft sobs; digging your nails into the skin of his wrists because you simply don‘t know what else to do.

For the first time in your life, your brain isn‘t protesting against a compliment and you know if it wasn‘t for him, there would be no way you‘d believe it.

“B-But your ex-girlfriends are the exact opposite and-”, “They don‘t matter, baby. You‘re you and it‘s all I could have asked for. I‘m in love with every part of your body and that has never been any different”, Iwaizumi interrupts you with his calm voice, placing his hands on your waist before one of them finds its way to your barely clothed ass.

“But-”, “No more buts”, the brunette says, a lot sterner and more determined, groping the flesh of your ass and then landing a firm spank on the soft flesh which has you whimpering into the crook of his neck.

Iwaizumi chuckles and pulls you into another deep kiss, sucking at your tongue, nibbling on your bottom lip all while his hands make sure to graze every bit of naked skin they can find. He pushes his leg in between your thighs, pressing it right against your cunt and without even wasting another second you find yourself grinding against the strong muscle. The fabric of his jeans rubs your throbbing clit in the best way possible, eliciting a row of needy whimpers from you.

You feel yourself soaking through the fabric of our lace panties and you know you‘re currently leaving a huge stain on Iwaizumi‘s pants but the pleasure clouding your mind makes it so easy to just ignore it.

“What a needy girl you are, baby”, Hajime mumbles, caressing the slightly dampened skin of cheeks with his thumb before he moves to graze your bottom lip and eventually pushes the digit into your open mouth.

Your lids fly open at the taste of his skin on your tongue, twirling the muscle around his thumb and then sucking on it softly, followed by some muffled moans of his name.

Iwaizumi watches you attentively for what feels like an eternity. His beautiful eyes wandering from the way you‘re rubbing your clunt against his clothed thigh to your perky nipples and then up to the way your lips look wrapped around his thumb like that and from the way his expression keeps growing darker and even hungrier, you know he‘s more than just enjoying your despair.

“I want to spit in your mouth”, he says, using the dominant tone you‘re oh so used to at this point and there‘s no way you‘d ever say no to him.

Something about being claimed in such a lewd way by the man you‘ve been dreaming of for years has you grinding your pussy into his thigh even harder; making sure to hit your clit with every rushed drag of your hips.

“Yes, p-please, Daddy”, you beg, not even overthinking any of your words as you part your lips and look at him with big, needy eyes.

When you notice the rather shocked and slightly overwhelmed expression on Iwaizumi‘s face, you gulp harshly, tilting your head to the side with your lips pushed into a concerned pout.

“What‘s wrong, Iwa?”, you whisper, way too scared of his response.

“You called me Daddy”, he replies and licks his plump lips, whereas you freeze completely at his comment.

“D-Did I? I‘m so sorry, Iwa”, the apology falls past your lips almost instantly at the realization because you know that not every guy is comfortable with such dynamic and even if Hajime definitely has a natural dominance to his personality, you should have waited a little longer before bringing this particular kink up.

“None of my boyfriends liked it and I don‘t like using it with completely strangers so I g-guess I just feel really safe with you and it slipped and I- oh, God, I‘m so sorry.”

You pull away from Iwaizumi with shaky hands, tears threatening to spill for the nth time within such a short period and you try your best to look everywhere but his eyes.

However, Iwaizumis seems to have other plans.

He takes your chin into his hand and pulls your face closer, nudges your nose with his own and then sucks your bottom lip into his mouth; making you whimper rather loudly.

“Say it again, baby”, he whispers, “tell Daddy how badly you want his spit.”

As his words echo inside of your brain, you let out a loud, high pitched whine, harshly trying to press your thigh further together ss the throbbing of your cunt becomes unbearable.

“Please, Daddy”, you reply, pushing his hand down to your neck and smiling softly when he wraps his pretty fingers around your throat, feeding right into every single fantasy you‘ve been imagining for so long, “spit in my mouth and on my cunt, I don‘t care. I just need it.”

“Good girl”, Iwa growls softly, “open up then, pretty one.”

You part your lips almost automatically at the sound of his demand, sticking your tongue out slightly and looking up at him with anticipation and such eagerness, if it wasn‘t for him, you would have never been as comfortable as this.

Iwaizumi smirks at you, keeping his grip on your throat firm but not too tight as he gathers his own saliva and spits into your mouth with a loud, lewd sound that sends shivers of pleasure straight down your spine and right into your core.

You can‘t stop your lips from stretching into a big smile when his taste coats the muscle of your tongue, swallowing it all in one go before you open your mouth yet again to show him it‘s all gone.

“Good fucking girl”, Iwaizumi praises you softly, caressing your cheek before he lets fo of your throat, “I got myself a perfect little doll, hm?”

“Thank you, Daddy”, you reply quickly, the intense urge to obey to his every word and submit to his every move absolutely overwhelming  at this point, but you would never want it any other way.

“Look at you, using your manners for me. You‘re welcome, princess. What about a little reward for being so good for me, baby? Wanna sit on my face so I can eat that pretty pussy of yours?”, Iwaizumi takes you hand into his, intertwining his fingers with yours before he guides you to the couch, letting himself fall into the soft cushion whereas you try your best not to panic at his words.

Of course the thought of having his mouth on your cunt is more than just tempting but you've never sat on a guy‘s face before; the fear of literally suffocating him with your weight making it impossible for you to even think about it.

“C-Can‘t you just eat me out like this, Daddy?”, you whisper, looking down to meet Iwa‘s hungry gaze and stopping him from pulling your panties any further down your thighs.

“I‘m too heavy”, the explanation follows right away, not wanting him to think it has anything to do with him or his wishes, “I don‘t want to hurt you.”

“Baby, I want you to sit on my face so I can eat your pretty pussy. That‘s it”, Iwaizumi says, his right hand finding the clasp of your bra and quickly getting rid of it before he takes both of your tits into his big hands; toying with your nipples and attentively watching the way your gasps grow louder with every pull on the perky buds, “you don‘t have to if you don‘t want to but don‘t you dare worry about me because this has been a dream of mine for literal years. Oh, how badly I want to be squished by those pretty, thick thighs of yours – you have no idea.”

“I want to! It’s just that I’ve never done this before. A-Are you sure? Please don‘t think you have to want this to make me feel better, I‘m okay with whatever you‘re comfortable with”, you whisper, not trusting your voice when you suddenly feel Iwaizumi‘s fingers tracing patterns on the inside of your thighs.

“Enough of this, pretty one”, his words are accompanied by a firm spank on your naked ass cheek; the pain of the sting leaving your pussy a spasming mess and with a soft moan you tighten your grip in his hair, “now sit on my face or I won’t fuck you.”

“N-No! Daddy, I‘m sorry, I promise I‘ll be good”, you whine quickly letting go of him so he can lay on his back only for Iwaizumi to get rid of his black shirt; revealing his strong, well trained body and all those dark lines adorning his tanned skin to your hungry eyes.

It takes you a few good seconds to gain enough confidence to actually spread your legs over his face, your whole body shaking with nervousness. But once Iwaizumi wraps his strong arms around your thighs and pulls your body even further down to his face, you slowly start easing up.

The feeling of his hot breath fanning against the wet flesh of your cunt sends goosebumps down your back. And the sight of his pretty face between your thick thighs, something you‘ve always been so insecure about, seems to slowly take a place as one of your favorite images to ever exist.

“Look me in the eyes, baby”, Iwaizumi mumbles and sucks at the skin of your inner thigh, his tongue on your skin making more and more juices gush out of your already drenched cunt as you allow yourself to meet his hungry gaze.

And just when your eyes meet, Iwaizumi sticks his tongue out and licks a long stripe over the hor flesh of your pussy before he gently pulls your little clit into his mouth and starts sucking on it.

You let out a loud groan; the sudden stimulation on your needy clit sending literal shock waves of pleasure through your body and without even realizing you slowly grind yourself further against his mouth.

Iwaizumi moans into your flesh, the deep bass of his voice sending vibrations right into your core, making your cunt clench even harder around nothing and if it wasn‘t for the intensity of his stare, you would have looked away already. Yet just as usual, there‘s something about the way he looks at you which has you feeling at literal ease – even in such a situation.

“Come on, baby”, Iwaizumi suddenly grunts, letting go of the sensitive bud with a loud sound before placing an open mouthed kiss on your clit and landing a harsh spank on your ash which has your body jolting in antica, “don’t be shy now. Ride my face like the good girl you are, make me proud…”, he adds softly, his words encouraging you easily and with a sound of affirmation, you start grinding your hips to meet the hot muscle of his tongue.

The following minutes are filled with loud slurping noises, high pitched moans and deep grunts as well as more words of affirmation and encouragement all while Iwaizumi continues to switch between thrusting his tongue into your tight hole and sucking on your clit before he eventually starts fingerfucking you with two of his thick digits.

You can't help but throw your head back at the immense amount of pleasure; your body and mind slowly reaching a point of complete haze as you lose yourself in the feeling of his touch.

And by the time you finally feel the taste of your high coating the tip of your tongue, your grip on Iwaizumi‘s hair tightens and a row of loud, choked out begs fall past your bit swollen lips.

“Look at your greedy little pussy clenching around my fingers like that”, Iwa chuckles deeply, picking up the pace of his thrusts as he keeps his mouth way too close to your throbbing little clit, “and those pretty begs. Gosh, baby, you‘re going to drive me insane.”

“S-So close, Daddy”, you choke out, your eyes flying open when you feel a third finger joining the two inside of your tight cunt, the pain of the stretch in combination with the pleasure of your upcoming high making your head spin.

“There we go, that‘s my baby”, he takes a deep breath and starts kneading the soft flesh of your ass in his palms, “want you to cum all over my fucking face. Show me what a good fucking girl you are.”

And those are the last words your brain manages to register before you feel the first wave of your orgasm hit you. Your sight turns pitch black and then white for a good second, your whole body tensing up at the feeling of coil in your core finally snapping.

Your thighs are shaking, your breath continuously hitching as you desperately try to regain your composure and if it wasn‘t for Iwaizumi‘s touch on your sensitive pussy, you‘d stay in the beautiful haze of your orgasm.

“You came so hard for me, baby”, Iwaizumi grins and pushes his fingers into his mouth before you finally find enough energy to get off of his face.

“W-Want more”, you whisper, your voice raspy and breathy as you tell him your request; low-key scared of being too greedy yet at the sight of Iwaizumi‘s eyes sparkling with excitement, you know he‘s not one to deny you anything. He‘s never been, after all.

“How about we move this to your bedroom, baby? I‘ve been dying to press your face into the mattress and ruin that little pussy of yours.” You feel a jolt of excitement blooming inside your chest at his words, nodding eagerly before you reach for his hand and guide him down the hall to your bedroom.

“Do you want me to suck you off?”, you say when the two of you come to stand in your room, your eyes focusing on the huge bulge in his pants, which manages to scare you slightly with its impressive size.

You always knew your best friend wasn‘t on the smaller side when it came to size yet you still can‘t hide just how surprised you are by its actual size. And suddenly the three fingers make a lot more sense to you.

“Let‘s save that for another time, pretty one. I‘ve been dreaming about pumping your cute little hole full of my cum for way too long. I can‘t wait any longer”, Iwaizumi replies and finally starts unbuckling his belt.

You take the few seconds he‘s busy to let your eyes admire the beauty of his perfectly sculpted body. You follow the dark lines of his chest tattoo, take in the sight of his stone hard abs and veiny arms as you press your thighs even more together to ease some of the pressure on your cunt.

“Are you done eyefucking me, pretty one?”, Iwaizumi suddenly chuckles, casually pushing his jeans as well as his boxer briefs down his meaty thighs and exposing his hard cock for your hungry eyes to devour.

He wraps his pretty fingers around his throbbing length, the tip an angry shade of red as precum continues to leak out; making your mouth water at the mere thought of having him in your mouth.

“Everything about you is so pretty”, you sigh and look into his eyes, the genuine appreciation in the green surrounding his iris making your heart grow warmer before he comes to stand in front of you in all of his glory.

“I love you so much”, Iwaizumi replies calmly, taking your face into his big hands before he places the softest kiss on your forehead.

“I love you, too”, you mumble and get up, pressing your lips against his and sighing into his mouth when he pushes his tongue past your lips without missing a beat.

Just when Iwaizumi starts letting his hands wander over your naked body, he halts his movements and pulls away slightly, “my pretty little baby, make sure to face the mirror so you can watch while I fuck your brains out. I want you to see just how perfect you are.”

“Yes, Daddy”, you whisper, your lips stretched into a big, big smile as you move out of his strong grip to position yours on your knees just as you were told.

Your heart suddenly starts racing again when you bury your face in your arms, making sure to push your ass as high as possible to give Iwaizumi easy access to your glistening cut. The excitement in combination with the pleasure and deep, deep longing finally manage to take over your brain; shoving the anxiety alongside all those insecurities to the very back of your head and making it easy for you to put your whole focus on the tll male behind you.

Iwaizumi’s rough hands caress your bare ass softly, kneading the flesh and lightly spanking it a few times before he lets a thick drop of his spit fall right onto your clenching pussy; sending goosebumps down your back at the feeling of it sliding down your flesh and mixing with your leaking juices.

You feel the tip of his thick cock nudging your entrance, the memory of his size making you tense up subconsciously and just when you’re about to hold your breath, Iwaizumi’s deep, calming voice echoes through the silence of your room.

“Take a deep breath, baby”, he whispers, knowing you’re going to follow his orders just like the good girl you love to be, “Daddy’s got you, okay? I’m gonna go easy, I promise.”

You lift your head to meet his comforting gaze through the mirror in front of you and without another beat passing, you feel yourself calming down again; the feeling of being absolutely safe and secure in his hand making it the easiest task.

And when Iwaizumi feels the tension in your body easing up, he lines himself up with your entrance and slowly pushes his thick tip into your tight hole. You whimper at the delicious stretch, the pain easily overshadowed by the sound of Iwaizumi’s heavy breathing and little moans.

“I’m gonna go all in, baby or else it’s going to hurt a lot more”, you appreciate his warning because as he’s saying it, Iwaizumi thrusts the whole of his impressive length into your spasming cunt; pushing every bit of air out of your lungs and pushing you way too close to your second high of the night. You can’t help but whimper loudly, tears already streaming down your cheeks because of the beautiful feeling of pain and pleasure mixing inside of your veins from the intensity of the stretch.

Iwaizumi, as always the gentleman, gives you all the time you need to adjust to his size; only growing slightly impatient as you still whine softly after two whole minutes yet you’re quick to lift your head again with quivering bottom lip and teary eyes, begging him to just fuck you.

“Please, Daddy”, you sob, moving away from him in a desperate attempt for some kind of friction; your cunt spasming around his thick cock like crazy and you know you’re only a few thrust and some clit stimulation away from your next high, “please, fuck me.”

“My greedy little whore”, Iwaizumi grunts, pulling his cock out of you astonishingly slow with the sole purpose of teasing you, “you’re going to take what Daddy gives you, did you hear me?”

You moan as the feeling of his tip dragging alongside your spongy walls, your eyes rolling into the back of your head only to find your way back to reality with a couple of harsh spanks on your already sore ass.

“Good sluts answer when being talked to, pretty one”, he warns, thrusting his cock back into you with one quick snap of his hips; burying himself balls deep inside of your overly sensitive cunt.

“Yes, Daddy, yes”, you cry and look up at him with glossy eyes, “just please, fuck my stupid little cunt, please.” Iwaizumi lets out a row of deep chuckles followed by raspy groans in response to your perfect answer before he nods at you and mumbles a few soft praises right into your ear and then straightens himself again.

“Alright then, pretty one.”

Loud grunts fill your ears so beautifully, echoing through the thick air of your bedroom and in combination with the sound of skin meeting skin in a constant rhythm, you feel the exact way your body is slowly falling into the beautiful bliss of another high.

Iwaizumi fucks you fast, harsh and rough. There’s nothing soft and romantic about the way his hips are meeting yours in a steady rhythm; making sure to hit that sweet spot deep inside of your pussy with every single one of his thrusts as he continues to use his whole strength on your burning ass.

But not once do you even think about telling him to go easier on you; this iwaizumi the one you’ve been imagining for all those years.

It doesn’t take long for him to wrap his strong arm around your chest to pull you up, his fingers also finding their way back home around your delicate throat.

“Look at you, baby”, he groans right into your ear, making you open your eyes and meet your own reflection in the mirror, “you’re so fucking beautiful, I can’t comprehend it.”

You stare at yourself with your lips parted in awe, eyes falling to the sight of Iwaizumi’s thick cock stretching your tiny cunt before you go back to trying to recognize yourself.

Because for the first time in literal years, you don’t hate what you see and even if it’s because of IWaizumi’s strong body right behind you, you still feel this certain type of warmth blossoming in your chest.

"Feels so good, baby", he groans, throwing his head back as the movements of his hips start to become slightly sloppier, a little more uncontrolled, "so tight and warm, so fucking perfect", Hajime’s voice breaks at the end of his soft praise because of your walls clenching around his cock even more the closer you get to the edge.

You start feeling dizzy, your sight turning into a blurr and at some point you can’t even in- or exhale without letting out a shaky moan.

Iwaizumi looks at you with wide, hungry eyes, the feeling of your walls gripping his cock like a goddamn vice sending him into an ecstatic state and the longer he watches you getting lost in the pleasure, the more he struggles to keep his rhythm.

You’re mumbling incoherent sentences, desperately trying to tell the brunette about how close you are whereas the pleasure makes it absolutely impossible for you to form a proper sentence.

“Are you going to cum for me again, baby?”, Iwaizumi grunts, tightening his grip on your throat, making you gasp for air as you nod in response to his question.

“My perfect little slut”, he sighs, his hand reaching down to rub your hard, throbbing clit with two of his rough digits, “fucking do it. Cum for your Daddy like the good whore you are.”

And just like a few minutes prior, those words are the last straw and eventually make you stumble over the edge head first. Your walls start spasming around Iwa’s cock like crazy, your loud moans and soft cries are the only thing he can focus on and without missing another minute, Iwaizumi also lets himself get consumed by the beautiful feeling of relief.

Iwa hips still, his cock buried deeply inside of your tight sex as he coats your walls with his creamy cum. Your new boyfriend gets lost in the feeling of finally getting to cum inside of you after waiting for so many years; feeding the fantasy of getting to claim you in the most intimate way possible. He buries his face in the sweaty crook of your neck, his rapid breath fanning your skin as the two of you try to calm down from your intense highs. Your hand finds its way into his dark hair, massaging his scalp with your eyes closed and your legs still shaking from the aftermath of your breathtaking orgasm. Without pulling out of you, despite his own release leaking out of you and down the sides of his cock, Iwaizumi makes you lay down with him; just tightly holding you in his arms.

A few minutes filled with nothing but soft breathing pass by before you finally find the strength to move again; the sudden need to look at Iwaizumi’s completely fucked out face overwhelming you in the best way possible. And when you turn around to look at him, you’re met with a breathtaking sight.

Messy strands of sweaty hair falling into his flushed face, swollen lips and glossy eyes sparkling at you in a way you’ve never seen before and in that moment you feel yourself falling in love with Iwaizumi all over again.

“I’m so in love with you”, you whisper and caress the soft skin of his cheeks, loving the way he moves even further into your touch.

“Always and forever only yours, pretty one”, Iwaizumi sighs and presses his forehead against yours.

࿏ A/N: And here it finally is! My first x chubby reader fic!! As a chubby someone who’s been reading fanficion for a long time, I’ve always craved some kind of representation and now I finally got to join this side of the community and I’m more than just happy about the way it turned out. I genuinely hope you guys will enjoy this and find comfort the same way I did while writing this. Please feel free to leave any sort of feedback if you enjoyed it and thank you so much for everything.