#I shouldn't blame them but I don't really have anyone else to make it read to

[666m4gg0tinahoodie]

I wrote this for my book and my parents are discouraged to read it. It's like, idk, 80 ''manuscrit'' A4 pages, so around 300 pages of a book format. Even I am quite discouraged to continue knowing I'm not even at the third of it oh my Lord help-

[drdemonprince]

I don't think I have it in me to be an abolitionist because I read that horrible story about the trans teen murdered in South Carolina and my knee jerk reaction is, those people should rot in jail, ideally forever, or worse. No matter how I look at it I can't make myself okay with the idea that you should be allowed to steal someone's life in such a horrible way and then just go back to enjoying your life. Some stuff is just too over the top evil.

You can have whatever emotions you want about that person's murderous actions, but the reality is that the carceral justice system is one of the largest sources of physical, emotional, and sexual torment for transgender people on this planet.

Transgender people are ten times more likely to be assaulted by a fellow inmate and five times more likely to be assaulted by a corrections officer, according to a National Center for Transgender Equality Report.

Within the prison system, transgender people are frequently denied gender-affirming medical care, and housed in populations that do not match their identity, which increases their odds of being beaten and sexually assaulted.

The alternative to being incorrectly housed with the wrong gendered population is that transgender people are also frequently held in solitary confinement instead, often for far longer periods on average than their non-transgender peers, contributing to them experiencing suicide ideation, self harm, acute physiological distress, a shrunk hippocampus, muscculoskeletal pain, chronic condition flare-ups, heart disease, reduced muscle tone, and numerous other proven effects of solitary confinement.

The prison system is also one of the largest sites of completely unmitigated COVID spread, among other illnesses, with over 640,000 cases being directly linked to prison exposure, according to the COVID prison project.

We know that number is rampantly under-estimated because prisoners, especially trans ones, are frequently denied medical care. And even basic, essential physical care. Just last year a 27-year-old Black man named Lason Butler was found dead in his cell, having perished of dehydration. He had been kept in a cell without running water for two weeks, where he rapidly lost 40 pounds before perishing. His body was covered in rat bites.

This kind of treatment is unacceptable for anyone, no matter who they are and what they have done, and I shouldn't have to explicitly connect the dots for you, but I will. One in six transgender people has been to prison, according to Lambda Legal. One in every TWO Black transgender people has been to prison. One in five Black men go to prison in America.

THIS is the fate you are consigning all these people to when you say that prisons must exist because there are really really bad people out in the world. We should all know by not that this is not how the carceral justice system works. Hate crime laws are under-utilized, according to Pro Publica, and result in few convictions. The people who commit transphobic acts of violence tend to be given softer sentences than the prisoners who resemble their victims.

We must always remember that the violent tools of the prison system will be used not against the people that we personally consider to be the most "deserving" of punishment, but rather against whomever the state considers to be its enemy or to be a disposable person.

You are not in control of the prison system and you cannot ensure it will be benevolent. You are not the police, the judge, the jury, or the corrections officers. By and large, the people who are in these roles are racist, transphobic, ableist, and victim-blaming, and they will use the power and violence of the system to terrorize people in poverty, Black people, trans people, "mad" people, intellectually disabled people, women, and everyone else that you might wish to protect from harm with a system of "punishment." Nevermind that incaraceration doesn't prevent future harm anyway.

You can't argue for incarceration as the tool of your revenge fantasies, you have to argue for it as the tool that it actually is. The purpose of a system is what it does. And the prison system's purpose has never been to protect or avenge vulnerable trans people. It has always been to beat them, sexually assault them, forcibly detransition them, render them unemployable, disconnect them from all community, neglect them, and unperson them.

[dean-a-mean-tae]

Stray Kids as Yanderes

Request: "You have yandere on your event and masterlist so would you do skz as yanderes? I know you only do soft yandere and thats fine"

WARNINGS: Obsessive behavior, Murder, Mention of suicide, Toxic relationship, Drugging, Manipulation, Humiliation, Claustrophobic issues, basements, blood, tied to a ceiling (not the reader), mention of kidnapping, delusional mindset, mental abuse, self-harm, cussing, suggestive? talking about kissing, Stalking, I think that's it

I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO READ! You DO NOT have my permission to repost my work anywhere.

A/N: I wanted to expand on their jealousy, but this is already long enough. I struggled with Jisung so much! >:[ I WROTE THIS AT 2 AM WITH NOTHING BUT DORITOS AND COUGH MEDICINE IN MY SYSTEM!

Master list

*.·:·BANG CHAN

Type: Manipulative Violence: 50-100% Possessive: 86% Jealousy: 65%

Punishments: Manipulation

The relationship looks normal at first glance. Chan takes care of you, but not so much that it feels like you're dependent on him. He lets you talk to people and leave the house. He waited until you were ready before moving you into his home, and he still waited.

You were cozy in the Venus flytrap, and its jaws were slowly closing.

He'd pick your friends off one by one. Chan starts with the acquaintances. They're not close to you, so it shouldn't hurt that much for them to leave you. He puts wedges between you and anyone trying to separate you. Your friend who had a crush on you is gone.

Chan is a dangerous yandere because of his awareness. He knows what he's doing is unhealthy and probably immoral, but he wants you. Chan needs you.

I don't think Chan would really have a punishment for you.

He'd just be doing the same thing he's been doing. He'll guilt trip you into feeling bad for lashing out. You think Chan is too possessive? You're right, but can you blame him? Anyone who looks at you would want to eat you like a snack and take you home with them for leftovers. He's just being cautious.

The jaws are shut, but something is stopping you from panicking.

*.·:·LEE MINHO

Type: Possessive Controlling Violence: 56-97% Possessive: 100% Jealousy: 100%

Punishments: Isolation and Drugging Humiliation

Minho is yours out of courtesy. You are Minho's because he wants you. There is a difference. As soon as you learn it, everything will be easier for Minho for you.

As seen in this post, Minho likes to play with you. It doesn't matter if you don't want to play, he wants to play, and you will. If he can see the exhaustion in your eyes, then Minho will let you rest. Hope that he can see it. Hope, pray, do whatever.

The more "tired" you act, the less likely Minho is to give you a break. In a way, he wants you to break. How else will Minho know what not to do?

You're moving sluggish? Then we're moving around. You're about to fall asleep? Have this melatonin gummy that's actually an energy booster. Minho wants you to break so he can fix you.

If you start lashing out, Minho will make you more compliant. He'll slip it into your drink or your food. Depending on how exhausted you are, will depict how much he gives you. Minho doesn't want to kill you. He'd not let anyone else have you, not even death.

If you go, Minho goes. You are his, and you can't leave.

When you're delirious, he locks you in a room. Not your bedroom, of course. Minho wants that room to be a safe space for you. He'll lock you in the hallway closet if you're claustrophobic. Or he'll stick you in the basement with the lights off. Of course, you're in a concealed room, so nothing can get you, but you can't see that.

I'm a firm believer that Minho would humiliate you as punishment. He'll finally take you out of the house. He'll pick your outfit himself, and when you come downstairs and question his outfit, he waves you off. "I want the attention to be on you."

And it will be. What were you thinking about wearing colors to an all-black event? Why are you off the theme?

*.·:·SEO CHANGBIN

Type: Protective Violence: 75-95% (Never to you) Possessive: 100% Jealousy: 12%

Punishments: Isolation

Sure, your happiness is important, but your safety is Changbin's top priority. You need to be healthy and protected. If this means killing someone disturbing your peace, then that's okay. If Changbin is causing you distress, he'll isolate the both of you for a break. Then it's back to being stuck together.

If you let him, Changbin will take care of you. He'll feed you, he'll bathe you, and he'll dress you. He will do everything for you until you tell him to stop, and even then, Changbin will push those limits.

Changbin's possessiveness is laced in his need to keep you safe. He would love for you to live your life. But why can't you live your life in the safety of his arms?

You think he's harming you? Well, imagine everyone else. What if he wasn't there? They're worse than him. They have no regard for your being, and Changbin knows this.

He's certain of it.

Your punishment is Changbin's dream. He'll lock you up in a room where you can't be hurt. Where you're safe. Where else is better for you?

Changbin who hides the number of lives he's taking to "keep you safe." He's certain your mind won't be able to handle it. You can barely look at the news about their deaths. So imagine finding out they're tied to you?

*.·:·HWANG HYUNJIN

Type: Delusional Violence: 5% (Unintentional) Possessive: 98% Jealousy: 79-100%

Punishments: Isolation

You need him, and Hyunjin needs you. It's a fact, and you can't go against a fact. Well, you can, but you would be wrong. You and Hyunjin were meant to be. You were together in past lives. You will be together in future lives. In all timelines, you are together.

But Hyunjin is in this timeline, in the present, and he wants you now.

Hyunjin doesn't just love you. Hyunjin knows he is in love with you. He needs you like his lungs need air, how his heart needs blood. How the trees need our breath. But you don't want him? No, you're just confused.

And if not? Hyunjin will wait for the next life.

But in this life? Hyunjin doesn't mind ending it early. His body will be in the ground, his soul in the stars, and his breath in the sky. You have no choice but to be with him.

When you walk, your feet touch the ground Hyunjin's body is in. When you breathe, you inhale his air. When you cherish the stars in the sky, they sparkle and shine for you. They are his soul and past lives shining on you.

Hyunjin would never hurt you on purpose. He has no issues with locking you up if it means keeping you in check and him from lashing out at you.

"I will never hurt you. People don't harm who they love," Hyunjin tells you. He tells you this as he locks you in a room with a see-through door. Ironic coming from him, but at least you don't have to worry about him hurting you.

Hyunjin has no issues with giving you time. Time with him, but still time to realize that you are meant to be.

Hyunjin who is overjoyed when you finally return his feelings. Who is overjoyed when the Stockholm syndrome hits.

*.·:·HAN JISUNG

(I had to let him marinate cause this was pissing me off ;-;)

Type: Quiet One Violence: 76-100% Possessive: Jealousy:

Punishments: Murder (not you)

Jisung is the type with earbuds on and scrolling on his phone to make the act believable. He's not listening to anything, but no one knows that. Jisung is eavesdropping on your conversation.

Jisung watches from the shadows. He leans against walls, tucks himself into corners, and hides in plain sight. Jisung needs to know everything about you.

Jisung takes your lost pencils, favorite candy wrapper, and anything you thought you "lost." Jisung who puts your things on the shrine in his basement.

Jisung finds everything about your family and friends. He finds out their habits and their tales. What makes them tick? How can he get them to put in a good word for him? Jisung, who fakes a smile for your love.

Jisung trains himself to be around you. He sneaks into your room and stands as close to you as he can without becoming a mess. He walks a little ways away from you and shortens the distance as he progresses. Jisung who hides his obsession out of fear of losing you.

Jisung who wouldn't hurt a fly, repeatedly stabs the person stealing you. His heart is steady, his face his blank, and his body doesn't tremble. Jisung who kills those who harm you, even those you don't know.

*.·:·LEE FELIX

Type: Clingy Violence: 0% Possessive: 79-100% Jealousy: I don't know

Punishments: Manipulation

This relationship starts normal, but the longer you stay with Felix, the more his obsession progresses. It's a little hard for him to breathe without you, like running for miles with asthma and no inhaler.

Felix would never hurt anyone. You don't know that, though. Felix doesn't like death, and Felix doesn't want to hurt you in any way. Not truly, so Felix gives threats. Behave, or he'll kill *blank*. Stop acting out, or he'll take *blank* out.

If you ever call his bluff, he'll get fake blood and a dead body. Felix will stage the act. You come home, and it's peaceful until you hear noise from the basement. What's that red stuff on the counter?

When you get downstairs, there's blood everywhere, and your best friend hangs by their wrists from their ceiling. When you try to run, Felix, covered in blood, is in the doorway. He knocks you out, and you wake up in your bed.

Felix is scared out of his sleep by your panicked breaths. When you tell him of your "nightmare," his eyes will dull, and he'll look near lifeless. Your phone rings before you can question him, and it's your best friend. As you're talking to them, you glance at Felix, but he's back to normal.

Felix who kisses your cheek and wishes you a good morning before taking a shower. While he's in the bathroom, you check the kitchen and the basement, but everything is normal. When you get back upstairs, Felix is plaiting the table with your favorite breakfast food.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Felix's face is concerned, but his tone is knowing.

*.·:·KIM SEUNGMIN

Type: Laidback Violence: 26% Possessive: Discreetly at 75% Jealousy: I'm conflicted

Punishment: Taking things from you

Seungmin doesn't want you stressing at all. If you have a problem, he'll fix it. Kidnapping you is too much work, so you won't have to worry about that. Seungmin will let you see your friends and family, and let you go out without him.

He knows you would never leave him.

As an idol, Seungmin can get people to watch you when he's not with you. As a person with "normal" status, he finds a way to convince your friends that you have a stalker and he just wants updates on your safety.

They'll send discreet pictures of you so you aren't panicking. They're trying to keep you safe. What if your stalker is watching you now? Seungmin wouldn't lie about your safety. He loves you, and they know it.

You're starting to sneak around? He'll find out why you're sneaking. If it isn't a surprise for him then you have no business creeping around. He should know everything. You should willingly tell Seungmin everything, or at least make it easy for him to find out himself.

Seungmin's punishments start small. It starts with your passions. You like art? Your pencils are snapped, and your paints have been left with the caps off. You make music? Your instruments are locked away or smashed to pieces. Seungmin won't break something of sentimental value. Your studio is locked with everything inside it.

Maybe you like books? If he has to, Seungmin will go through your favorite book and fold the corners. He'll crease the spines of your books and lock them away so that when you get them back, they're messed up.

You read online? You have a Kindle or an app on your phone? That's fine. Your library is cleared out, and he'll start a new book just to make sure there isn't a "Start where you left off" option.

Seungmin isn't evil. He'll make a list of all the books in your library, online or on a shelf, and keep perfect copies. He'll buy you new paints or get you new instruments.

Seungmin who will send a picture of you with your family if you run away. "I hope nothing bad happens to them while you're gone."

*.·:·YANG JEONGIN

Type: Obsessive Violence: Depends Possessive: 50-95% Jealousy: 76%

Punishment: Isolation, self-harm,

You're all he can think about. Jeongin depends on you. He can't eat, his sleep schedule is nonexistent, and he hasn't been outside unless you bring him.

Tell him to give you space, and Jeongin will hand it to you. He'll be fucking miserable, but he'll give you all the space and time you need. When you finally come back to him, kiss him long and slow or fast and intense.

Jeongin doesn't care. He wants you to be stuck to him like glue until you get sick of him and need a break.

Jeongin is fragile. His world revolves around you. You are the sun that brightens his day and the moon that guides him in the night. Lashing out at him about anything is a direct blow to his heart and soul.

You yelling at Jeongin. = You hate Jeongin.

He can't live while you hate him. He lives to please you. If you hate him, then Jeongin has failed you. Failing you means he failed himself, and life is too good for failure as bad as this.

Jeongin who tells you with a blank face but love-filled eyes that he would die for your love. Jeongin who will proudly show you each scar as punishment for making you "hate" him.

©️DEANAMEANTAE2024

[2hot444this]

How to change (for real this time)

The problem w/ most people is they read all those self-help books, advice but never end up applying them irl. They think "oh maybe it helped her but situation is completely diff from hers, more complicated. . . " stop. You can change literally anything by changing your mindset.

#1 90% of life is confidence, said a wise person. If you don't believe you can change, who will? I know this one girl who was desperate to change, she used to pester me for advice all the time and initially I did try to help her. But she always ended up back at square one. I'm not her therapist to hear her complain about her pathetic life 24x7 and remind her everyday that she decided to change and to live up to it. I slowly retracted back from her. People like that drain your energy. And she still hasn't changed. Why? She kept going back to things she said she never would associate herself with again. The same people, situations, scenarios that screwed her up over and over again. She's the human representation of "victim mindset." Don't be like her. Seriously, don't try to hate the game, learn to play it.

#2 Stop w/ the self deprecating humor. It ain't hot at all. It makes you look like you lack basic self-respect. If someone's making a joke on you, you should stand up for yourself not you bullying yourself. Build a really deep relationship w/ yourself. No matter what anyone says you should never stop loving yourself. Someone says you're ugly, you shouldn't go ab your day musing upon that and letting it mess w/ you. You need to be cold to be queen. So don't let your emotions get in your way of self development.

#3 Nothing is impossible. Don't constantly affirm that it's so hard, you could never do it cuz it is gonna manifest. Even if it looks impossible to you, be delulu. Act like you have it or at least do the bare minimum of believing that you'll get there. Do your shadow work. It's where you shamelessly admit things to yourself and work on identifying the problem, how to cope w/ it and how to put it in practice. Be 100% honest w/ yourself.

#4 Dissociate yourself from all the things that remind you of the old you (if possible). It will be a wee bit difficult in the beginning but don't beat yourself up over it. You'll slowly get there don't worry, you learn from experience. Never blame yourself or beat yourself up if you do mess up. Course you should be accountable but don't self sabotage yourself. You need yourself in situations like that.

#5 Don't centre yourself around guys, or anyone else. This is your life. It should be around you. When you start having crushes or "sp" you put them on the pedestal. You seek their validation. So why would you do smth so heinous as such?

#6 Take inspo from characters you like. Embody them. Give a name to your alter ego. Act like her. Go on Pinterest and write down some self obsessed quotes and preach them everyday (not 2 much tho!)

#7 Protect your energy. You ain't anyone's therapist. You have no time for ppl's stupid drama. It's your life and it's on you to live upto it's fullest. Be extra, do what you love, what makes you happy. Celebrate your existence.

[cimerran-714]

Well, as many people love to claim that Ron's not at fault for abandoning the Trio in Deathly Hallows (some Ron stans instead prefer to shift the blame to Harry instead by reading things out of context), I thought I'd analyze the entire scene here.

So, to start with, I really like Ron. But I do not think that you have to excuse everything a character does in order to like him. Now, Ron fans would probably just claim that I am lying about liking Ron, but I don't care about that.

Let's get started, shall we?

“So, would he have hidden the sword well away from Hogsmeade then? What d’you reckon, Ron? Ron?” Harry looked around. For one bewildered moment he thought that Ron had left the tent, then realized that Ron was lying in the shadow of a lower bunk, looking stony. “Oh, remembered me, have you?” he said.

Okay, so it begins with Harry looking for Ron, and he notices him lying next to a bunk "looking stony". He makes a comment asking whether Harry's remembered him.

Now, how does Harry respond to that?

"What?” Ron snorted as he started up at the underside of the upper bunk. “You two carry on. Don’t let me spoil your fun.” Perplexed, Harry looked to Hermione for help, but she shook her head, apparently as nonplussed as he was. “What’s the problem?” asked Harry.

Harry's understandably confused. He says "What?" and then exchanges a look with Hermione, who's similarly perplexed. And then, Harry asks him again what the problem was. He just says "What's the problem?" and nothing else.

“Problem? There’s no problem,” said Ron, still refusing to look at Harry. “Not according to you, anyway.” There were several plunks on the canvas over their heads. It had started to rain. “Well, you’ve obviously got a problem,” said Harry. “Spit it out, will you?

Ron refuses to elaborate & just says that according to Harry, there's no problem. Harry replies by asking him to "spit out". Well, that maybe he considered rude, but how would you even respond to it? They were discussing Horcruxes & Ron's talking about how the others "remembered" him now, that Harry shouldn't let him "spoil their fun", and that Harry doesn't think there's a problem.

Considering the context, it's a valid thing to say.

Ron swung his long legs off the bed and sat up. He looked mean, unlike himself. “All right, I’ll spit it out. Don’t expect me to skip up and down the tent because there’s some other damn thing we’ve got to find. Just add it to the list of stuff you don’t know.” “I don’t know?” repeated Harry. “I don’t know?”

Ron looks unlike his usual self as he then implies that he doesn't care about what they had found out, and that it's Harry's fault. That's why Harry repeated the same thing. He was just surprised and shocked.

Plunk, plunk, plunk. The rain was falling harder and heavier; it pattered on the leaf-strewn bank all around them and into the river chattering through the dark. Dread doused Harry’s jubilation. Ron was saying exactly what he had suspected and feared him to be thinking. “It’s not like I’m not having the time of my life here,” said Ron, “you know, with my arm mangled and nothing to eat and freezing my backside off every night. I just hoped, you know, after we’d been running round a few weeks, we’d have achieved something.

Ron talks about how the Horcrux hunting wasn't similar to his expectations.

Again, Harry responded calmly:

"I thought you knew what you’d signed up for,” said Harry. “Yeah, I thought I did too.” “So what part of it isn’t living up to expectations?” asked Harry. Anger was coming to his defense now. “Did you think we’d be staying in five-star hotels? Finding a Horcrux every other day? Did you think you’d be back to Mummy by Christmas?"

For Harry using the phrase "back to Mummy", remember that Ron agreed to come to help even though Harry said that they shouldn't, and now he's upset that it's not working out & is sulking. Anyone would have gotten angry. Seriously, Ron just makes it sound as if Harry forced him to come along.

"We thought you knew what you were doing!” shouted Ron, standing up, and his words pierced Harry like scalding knives. “We thought Dumbledore had told you what to do, we thought you had a real plan!” “Ron!” said Hermione, this time clearly audible over the rain thundering on the tent roof, but again, he ignored her. “Well, sorry to let you down,” said Harry, his voice quite calm even though he felt hollow, inadequate. “I’ve been straight with you from the start, I told you everything Dumbledore told me. And in case you haven’t noticed, we’ve found on Horcrux—”

Ron's words are scathing, but remarkably, Harry is STILL calm in his response. He's composing himself as he explains to Ron that he did tell them everything that he knew.

"Yeah, and we’re about as near getting rid of it as we are to finding the rest of them—nowhere effing near in other words.” “Take off the locket, Ron,” Hermione said, her voice unusually high. “Please take it off. You wouldn’t be talking like this if you hadn’t been wearing it all day.” “Yeah, he would,” said Harry, who did not want excuses made for Ron. “D’you think I haven’t noticed the two of you whispering behind my back? D’you think I didn’t guess you were thinking this stuff?"

Well, Hermione IS being unfair by blaming it on the locket. We do know that Ron left even after he removed the locket, and like Harry said, they were whispering behind his back.

Further on:

"Harry we weren’t—” “Don’t lie!” Ron hurled at her. “You said it too, you said you were disappointed, you said you’d thought he had a bit more to go on than—” “I didn’t say it like that—Harry, I didn’t!” she cried. The rain was pounding the tent, tears were pouring down Her- mione’s face, and the excitement of a few minutes before had van- ished as if it had never been, a short-lived firework that had flared and died, leaving everything dark, wet, and cold. The sword of Gryffindor was hidden they knew not where, and they were three teenagers in a tent whose only achievement was not, yet, to be dead. “So why are you still here?” Harry asked Ron. “Search me,” said Ron.

Read the last part. Harry asks him why he's still there and Ron replies by saying that he doesn't know. THAT is when Harry asks him to leave; Ron made it clear that he does not even want to remain there any more.

Remarkably, Harry is STILL replying calmly when he asks him to go home.

"Go home then,” said Harry. “Yeah, maybe I will!” shouted Ron, and he took several steps toward Harry, who did not back away. “Didn’t you hear what they said about my sister? But you don’t give a rat’s fart, do you, it’s only the Forbidden Forest, Harry I’ve-Faced-Worse Potter doesn’t care what happens to her in there—well, I do, all right, giant spider and mental stuff—”

Ron talks about how Harry doesn't care about what happens to Ginny.

And incredibly, Harry is STILL calm.

“I was only saying—she was with the others, they were with Hagrid—” “Yeah, I get it, you don’t care! And what about the rest of my family, the Weasleys don’t need another kid injured, did you hear that?” “Yeah, I—” “Not bothered what it meant, though?”

“Not bothered what it meant, though?” “Ron!” said Hermione, forcing her way between them. “I don’t think it means anything new has happened, anything we don’t know about: think, Ron, Bill’s already scarred; plenty of people must have seen that George has lost an ear by now, and you’re supposed to be on your deathbed with spattergroit, I’m sure that’s all he meant—” “Oh, you’re sure, are you? Right then, well, I won’t bother myself about them. It’s all right for you two, isn’t it, with your parents safely out of the way—” “My parents are dead !” Harry bellowed

There you go. Ron insults Harry's parents greatly by talking about how his parents are "safely out of the way". At this point, Harry, who has been remarkably calm overall, loses his temper.

Honestly, you know what happens after that. Harry responds to him by asking him to essentially fuck off, and Ron begins to escalate it physically and attack Harry (a fight was averted by Hermione's shield charm).

And then Ron left even AFTER having removed the locket. Don't blame it on the locket, it's a weak excuse.

So, to summarize:

Ron started the argument.

Harry replies in a mostly calm manner.

Ron insults Harry's dead parents upon which the latter finally loses his temper.

Ron leaves after removing the locket.

Yeah, sorry, I am still 100% going to blame Ron here.

[yanderes-galore]

I'm really curious how can you make Rookie from Halo work... So can I ask for a romantic concept for him?

I will be focusing strictly on Rookie from Halo 3: ODST for this. Gotta love obsessive silent protagonist :)

Yandere! Rookie/Jonathan Doherty Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Overprotective behavior, Violence implied, Death mentioned, Injury, Blood, Guns (Halo is an FPS so-), One-sided relationship, Thoughts of forced affection, Dubious relationship.

Can you really blame The Rookie for becoming so obsessive?

He wakes up in New Mombasa, the rain pouring hard upon his helmet.

His team is scattered, perhaps even dead.

He is left to find out what happened to them in the wet streets of New Mombasa.

Plus, the city is overrun by Covenant troops.

The Rookie may have found you hiding away in New Mombasa.

You're a civilian left behind in this concept, only armed with a pistol.

The Rookie can see the wounds and blood on your clothes/skin when he finds you.

You trust him when you see him, you can tell by his armor he's human.

He's no Spartan, but an ODST is still able to quickly adapt for survival.

He no doubt finds a first aid station nearby and gets to work on patching up your wounds.

Rookie's concern is primarily looking for an extraction point and where the rest of his team could be.

But as he looks at you shivering from the rain and slowly recovering from your wounds, part of him feels like he should keep an eye on you.

This makes the Rookie take you along with him, arming you with a gun you can use.

Despite you being armed he knows you're vulnerable.

He's armored, you aren't.

You both don't have shields, but one well placed shot would do more damage to you than him.

The Rookie encourages you both to travel in shadows.

The city itself is dark and the rain makes it hard to see.

This is used to your advantage.

Over time Rookie notices you open up to him.

He doesn't say much but listens to you when you talk.

Rookie is hard to read what he's thinking... due to the lack of speech and helmet.

I have a feeling ODST Yanderes are more comforting than Spartans as they feel more human.

Although Rookie is a poor example of this since he feels almost... emotionless at times.

However he does show he cares for you still, he isn't too cold.

He takes most of the hits, he listens to you, he acts empathetic.

You can't explain why it feels like he's staring though... might just be the helmet?

In reality... Rookie is staring because he feels attracted.

Another thing that sets Spartan yanderes such as John apart from ODSTs? Romantic attraction.

Rookie has no enhancements that dampen such feelings.

Which means he's still able to feel romantic attraction, like Buck.

Rookie finds himself falling for you, a civilian in his care.

He's determined to help you out of this mess, no matter what it takes.

Rookie is mostly focused on the task at hand.

But occasionally his thoughts wander back to you, thinking of what life with you could entail.

He really shouldn't since the war is still going.

You're a civilian, you should be evacuated like all the rest.

But as you get closer to the extraction point, his grip tightens on you.

He can't bring himself to see you go.

Even when he meets with Buck and Veronica, he is intent on not leaving without you.

Buck definitely teases Rookie, claiming he has a new partner.

Rookie doesn't mind, in fact he thinks of what it would be like to show you affection.

His feelings for you never dissipate.

In fact, even as you fly off with him in a Pelican, he still fantasized about being with you.

Maybe he should've pinned you to a wall in New Mombasa... kissed you... showed how much he adores you...

Rookie wants to find a way to express such feelings... but he isn't sure how.

He has desires but he has to wait for the right time.

He feels eventually you two will end up together.

He doesn't want anyone else to be beside you, after all he saved you.

Who else was supposed to protect you?

Even if he has to pull some strings... spill some blood... or break a few UNSC vows and rules...

Rookie plans to remain your savior, protector, and possible lover... even if you are a civilian.

Overall Yandere Type: Overprotective, Obsessive, Devoted, Deceptive, Delusional, Slightly possessive.

[softspeirs]

A/N: John Egan/OC. Listen, I simply couldn’t resist. I know OC’s are abounding right now, but I’ve had this in my head for a few days and needed to get it out. For now she shall remain nameless, but we’ll see if I want to flesh this out. Fair warning: this is real angsty. Sorry, I was in a mood! Somewhere around ep 4-5? No spoilers.

one - (quiet skies, don't get attached)

“Has he reached his limit yet?” A slim hand reaches in front of her, grabbing a pint off the bartop.

She meets Major Cleven’s eyes briefly before he tilts his head in Major Egan’s direction, indicating who he's asking about. As if he'd be worried about anyone else this much.

“Two more with his name on it,” she says, biting back her smile.

“Don’t see how that’s possible.” He mutters, rolling his eyes as Bucky’s loud voice carries over from where he sits, regaling fellow pilots and locals alike with stories from his latest mission.

She shrugs, settling a rag over her shoulder. “I’m not a babysitter. I just make the drinks.”

He nods, waving his hand. “I know. Thank you.”

She sees the worry and frustration that he's not voicing. "No thanks necessary." She says quietly. She watches him go and join his friends, and frowns as she watches Egan stumble over a chair, Cleven barely managing to grab his elbow before he goes toppling to the floor.

It's getting worse. But-- she can't even blame him. She hears bits and pieces, the guys regaling each other with their war stories, but lately it's been quieter, less storytelling and more drowning regrets and sorrows over lukewarm beer.

Major Egan has been in town longer than all of them, and she wonders if anyone else is picking up on the hints he's been dropping every time he speaks to anyone.

I don't even feel anything.

It's not until days later when she hears that he's on leave that she finally releases a breath she's been holding.

The pub is quiet that day. No roaring of planes overhead, no rowdy airmen taking up all her tables and running her ragged with requests. No laughter, but no fighting either.

Her father comes in later, solemn expression, and slaps a newspaper down on the bar. She feels her stomach sinking as she reads. "They lost so many." She whispers.

"Gave the Germans a whipping, though."

It's not enough.

It's late that night when Major Egan shows up. She's not even really surprised to see him, all things considering. She is surprised to see him here - she would have thought he'd have gone MIA with a ship and gone to avenge his friends on his own.

He sits at the bar and flashes her a smile. She's already shaking her head before he can even open his mouth.

"Major... it's not a good idea."

He looks affronted. "What isn't? Just here for a drink, that's all. Haven't you heard? I'm still on leave."

"If you were on leave you'd still be in London."

There's a quick moment where he sets his jaw, sighing. He's frustrated, and she knows he has a quick temper. She just hopes that he hears her out.

"You can't drown your sorrows." She slides the newspaper into view. "Not right now."

He meets her eyes again. There's a moment of clarity that passes between them - she knows exactly why he's back early, and he knows she understands what the stakes are.

"You shouldn't get attached." He says, rising from his seat. Halfway to the door, he looks over his shoulder. "To any of us." His smirk is small, bitter. "Here today, gone tomorrow."

"Major Egan--"

The door is swinging shut behind him before she can tell him it's no use; she already is attached. And she feels it each time a crew comes through the doors and they're one man short. She feels it even though she never learns half their names.

It never gets easier, for the men who do the flying, or for the people who wait for them to come back.

[mysticcollectionbee]

Loki S2 Ep.2 (Breaking Brad): Pros & Cons

(SPOILERS!)

First the Bad to get it out of the way:

• Biggest thing I got a problem with: NOT a fan of the TVA brutality thing and really hope the TVA isn't seen as a 'flawed' system but just a system built to be awful. Only thing I agree with Sylvie is that the overall system is bad. And the protags shouldn't be chill using these tactics. Gonna hope this was just a one time thing because of X-5 just being a massive dick and pissing them to an extreme extent (Doesn't make it right, but if someone blamed me for a loved ones death...I might loose my morals a bit too).

• Sylvie being a bitch to Loki FOR NO REASON. Like everything else going on with her I love, but, why is she being horrible to Loki? He didn't betray or stop her. SHE BETRAYED HIM AND SCREWED EVERYTHING OVER, BUT SHE'S THE PISSED ONE?

Now that we got all the bad out of the way, onto the good stuff:

•Badass Loki, with MAGIC, with a bit of intimidation? YES. Sure, I don't like him and Mobius torturing X-5 BUT I'm all for Loki weaponizing his villainous history. And surprisingly keeping his temper under control. Nice.

• Unlike Mobius...My dude ya good? I love what this could be hinting and going for. And also showing that he isn't pure good, but as Loki said, Not all good which is why they get along.

• Loki being the one that kept a cool head and is the one trying to comfort is so interesting! He's never tried doing that for anyone besides Thor in a few small scenes. And that's his brother! He just wants to be there for Mobius and let him have some pie while they chill and talk stuff out, even trying to relate to mobius (albeit a funny ridiculous comparison).

•Both of the time duos being horrible with tech makes a bit too much sense. They are great at manipulating and reading people, but they probably can't build a single IKEA chair.

•CASEY! I love Casey actually becoming more of an important/useful character. And apparently a fan of O.B. So maybe our tech guy won't have to wait hundreds of years for a visitor anymore!

•B-15 being the heart of the team and the TVA, she should be in charge. Please. Also I need an offical name for her and D-90 because I really want to call them by actual names.

•X-5 is an asshole but a well written and neat asshole. I do kinda want him to get back to his movie life, that way he won't be such a dick to the characters I like and he gets to keep having his dream life. Win-win.

• Sylvie gets a fun retirement life please! I don't think her being on the team is good for her or for the team. I think she should only join when her life is endangered and when it's all over get back to it. I used to think she might join Loki and Mobius on maybe continuing fighting Kang after the season is over but like...That's not her fight? Leaver her be. And bad for the team cause well...The morale is already kinda shit and she's gonna be miserable and make everyone else miserable too.

• Just realized this: Is everyone keeping secrets??? Loki seemed to not have been planning to tell the others about the Ravonna and HWR convo until it was needed to mention (Mobius literally was asking, "When were you gonna-" then was caught off), Mobius seems to already know or have a serious fear that he's hiding, B-15 has yet to mention what she saw of her past life despite it obviously leaving an impact, etc.

[griseldagimpel]

Cytherea’s Cancer

A post about Cytherea’s cancer and why it took her thousands of years to turn against John.

I want to acknowledge at the start that characters in The Locked Tomb sometimes make statements that are true from their perspective but not necessarily objectively true. Like, Mercymorn insists that no one liked Alecto, but then Pyrrha speaks up and says that hey, she liked Alecto. But if there's not a contradictory statement, I'm going to hazily accept character statements as more or less true. Getting too far down the path of, "Well the character is probably lying." can get an analysis on shaky grounds.

The other thing I want to acknowledge is that writers are imperfect humans. For a series, one book gets written at a time, and even within a book, the author may come up with Problem X and not see Solution Y, even if it seems obvious to the reader. (I certainly have spent enough time wracking my brains trying to figure out if I missed something obvious!)

Alright, I do tend to think that John could have healed Cytherea’s cancer because healing cancer is one of those things that's within the realm of Things John Can Do, as opposed to, say, mind reading, which is not. John is depicted as extremely powerful, but not in all aspects.

However, John healing Cytherea’s cancer wouldn't have stopped her from dying. It would have just stopped her from dying right then of her cancer. If Cytherea wanted to Not Die, she needed to become a Lyctor.

The Nine Houses is a setting where the afterlife is confirmed to exist, their ruling deity can resurrect the dead, and people still die.

And I don't think John is terrible for this, for letting death happen even though he could stop it. With a lot of the Houses being space installations, either the Nine Houses can be a place with a static population that never dies but no children are born OR people can live out their natural lives. Cancer sucks lemons, but it's a natural cause.

And from that perspective, it gives Cytherea’s decision to pursue Lyctorhood a lot of autonomy. Se wanted to Not Die - cancer makes one very aware of one's own mortality - and so she took action to achieve it.

That's why she didn't turn on John right away when Lyctorhood wasn't all it was cracked up to. Maybe Palamedes was wrong, and Cytherea’s cancer really did give her a power boost she thought worth the cost. Maybe she got Mercymorn to turn off some of the pain pathways going to her brain and has been in less pain over the Myriad than Palamedes thought.

Regardless, Cytherea feels that, even if Lyctorhood had unforseen costs, that this is her decision and not something she blames John for. Hence John saying that Cytherea never indicated anything was wrong.

But it does weigh on Cythera, and three hundred years before the first book, she begins toying with the idea of Ending It All.

And then there's a call for new Lyctors, and that's what makes Cytherea act.

When she's asked why she hates John, she denies it. She says she loved him. That's why John shouldn't have asked her or anyone else to become a Lyctor: because their love for their emperor would make them agree to something they should have said no to.

The Locked Tomb is a series about the horrors of love.

[silentwillowwhisperer]

Keith and Allura are still my favorite bestie pair.

Mkay, hi! This post is kinda sorta in continuation to another post I wrote.

You don't really have to read the other one to understand this, but it's a similar idea.

Big thanks to @haunted-glassesgurl who gave me the idea for this, go check out her account, she writes thing occasionally.

Waiiiit. Our convo was kinda long. Am I gonna be here for like forever?

-------------------------------------------

Keith is in Allura's room yet again, this time with the princess sitting elegantly in front of him while he paints her.

For some reason, no matter where she is, the light always seems to hit her just right, and she always looks so effortlessly perfect. It makes her the perfect painting subject, her surreal beauty is quite literally alien to Keith.

But he knows that she's also caring and funny. It's hard to take someone seriously when you've watched the them snort like a pig because she was trying not to choke on food goo while watching Keith do a handstand on top of a ten foot tall bookshelf while singing House of Memories at the top of his lungs. It's a long story.

Anyway, he finishes and shows her his latest work. He's painted things for her dozens of times, and she always looks amazed.

She stands abruptly after glancing at the portrait for a couple seconds. Keith does not fall of the bed in surprise, shut up Allura.

"Keith Kogane of planet Earth, I name you the Official Royal Painter."

She says it with a teasing glint in her eye, but Keith looks shocked anyway.

"Really?" His eyes are starry with disbelief and happiness.

Of course, Allura had not been serious when she said that, but she had forgotten that Keith is a very angsty socially deprived child, and therefore cannot tell when someone is joking.

But how can Allura admit that to Keith when he looks like this? It's not possible! His way-to-adorable-for-his-own-good-kitten-puppy-eyes are on full force.

So now, when Keith is super stressed, he drags Allura into one of their rooms and just paints her for hours. She isn't exactly fond of sitting still for that long, but anything is better than seeing her best friend overwork himself to the point at which he regularly has to spend his nights in a healing pod in order to function.

And, sure, to anyone else it would seem like Keith is a creepy stalker who has nothing better to do than make artworks of Allura and stash them all over his room, but who cares? It's not like anyone will be snooping in there.

-

Lance realizes too late that he shouldn't be snooping in Keith's room.

It's not his fault! Keith had left the door to his room open for once, and how can anyone resist taking a peek in their crush's room?

So, really, Lance blames Keith entirely for his heart shattering into a million pieces.

He had decided to take a look in Keith's closet and see if the guy actually owns anything other than that stupidly short jacket. (How does it even provide Keith with warmth? It covers like 25% of his chest. Is he just a natural furnace??? Does he even take it off when he sleeps or is he just that committed to wearing overly cropped clothing and messing with Lance's weak heart?)

What he finds is painting after painting of Allura. Sure, she's pretty, but this is like an obnoxious amount of portraits.

Before, Lance had hoped and wished and thought that maybe, just maybe Keith might return Lance's feelings.

But now there is no doubt, Keith has a crush on Allura.

-

Keith can't deal with this right now.

He has already had a stressful week, and now his crush is aggressively flirting with his friend.

Allura just laughs it off every time, but to Keith, it just drives the knife further into his tragic, gay heart every time Lance says something cheesy or winks in Allura's direction.

Why are all the best people so painfully STRAIGHT?

Keith can't decide if he wants to punch or kiss Lance's stupid face.

At this point, it shouldn't bother Keith. He's watched the energetic boy flirt with absolutely anything, (seriously. Keith once walked in on Lance practicing puck-up lines on a trash can with a sharpied face and bikini on it) but for some reason, he can't stop feeling his feelings.

So now, instead of being mature about this, he's ignoring Lance. Shiro keeps looking at him and shaking his head every fifteen seconds, but if Lance is gonna be an unintentional douchebag, then Keith is allowed to be petty.

Their old rivalry is back, an Keith can't help the tightening in his gut when he realizes that he and Lance are drifting apart once again.

-

Allura is very close to strangling someone.

Honestly! Keith and Lance both clearly like each other, and yet they’re both set on restarting this silly rivalry of theirs.

If Lance says ‘Keith and Lance neck and neck’ one more time, Allura will have his neck.

She’s tried being subtle. She has dropped so many hints that everyone on the ship has figured those two out by now.

And now she’s done. Those idiots are going to kiss each other, and they are going to enjoy it, because Allura has put way to much effort into them.

After dinner that night, Allura grabs Lance by the collar and drags him onto a deserted hallway.

He yelps and complains until he meets her icy glare.

Allura has never shut someone up so quick, and it satisfies her greatly.

“Listen up Lonce. Not only have been flirting with me shamelessly for months, but you’re also failing to see what’s right in front of you. I don’t know about you, but the look Keith gives you every time you dismiss him breaks my heart. So, if you don’t fancy being ejected into space right now, you will go confess to that boy and kiss him like you mean it.”

Lance blinks at her in shock before responding.

“But- the paintings! And he’s in your room a-all the time!” he splutters.

Allura drags her perfectly manicured hand down her face with a groan.

“Well excuse me for being a good subject for his art. If you haven’t noticed, we’re friends, and that’s it. Now shut your trap and go find him.”

The next day, Allura almost combusts when the pair walks into the kitchen bickering. That is, until she notices their find smiles and tangled fingers.

[mickeys-malarkey]

I can't hold my Bendy theories in anymore!!

I've only got a few people to infodump to about Bendy IRL, I'm just so excited after watching the BATDR trailer and reading all the new theories that I can barely sleep or get any work done, and now that we have an official release date they can't chicken out if my theories are correct rofl. So, here I go!

Fair Warning: There's no way to avoid it, this is gonna have so many spoilers for all the current Bendy games and books (well, except BINR. But there's also not really a story in that one) that I'm just gonna have to assume that if you're still reading past this point, you've either already played/read the entire series (obviously minus BATDR) or you don't care about spoilers!

Pt. 1/3: Expanding (Mostly) On My TIOL Thoughts

As I said in my thought summaries here and on Twitter, I hate Nathan Arch. Dude literally sets off every single alarm bell I have, I don't understand why nobody else seems freaked the heck out by him… *shudders* I'm convinced that he's the answer to theMeatly's question.

To start off, I'd like to point out that… Nathan says his notes exist to “provide context for the contemporary reader,” which sounds like he's just gonna be stating general historical facts every reader would've known when the book was originally published but might not know when it was republished and are necessary to understanding what Joey's saying. But that's not what the notes are like at all? They actually consist of very personal information that readers at the time of original publication couldn't possibly have known and definitely aren't necessary to understanding what Joey's saying; and the vast majority seem to specifically be either 1: flip-flopping between singing Joey's praises and making remarks he really shouldn't be making if he were actually trying to dispel the negative rumors around the man as he claims, or 2: confirming or denying descriptions of himself?? 🚨

It feels like he's trying to manipulate us into seeing Joey as a genius and saint whose inventions we should accept with open arms whilst simultaneously positioning the guy as a scapegoat to take all blame in case we don't, and into seeing Nathan himself as an intelligent and kind man who definitely respected and admired Joey and, of course, would never, ever mistreat him, preemptively discrediting any rumors about him being an abusive friend that might crop up. Even when Joey makes comments that in no way cast him in a bad light— Joey be like “oh Nathan loved creative people and even though he would never understand us wanted to be us” and Nathan be like “actually no I like myself fine, and also no I dislike creatives in general, they're boring and too self-indulgent. It's specifically Joey that I admired, and therefore I admired his creativity specifically by extension. Isn't it just like Joey not to see the compliment—?” Um, no?? No, Nathan, that sounds absolutely nothing like Joey; he's literally been enraptured by every statement or action that could possibly be construed as complimenting him in this book. Did you just indirectly end your relationships with every other creative you've ever met so that nobody would believe anyone who claims that you looked down upon Joey? 🚨🚨

Let me get into some of the more unique notes from Nathan.

“The first time I read this [Elves and the Shoemaker] story it meant a great deal to me. Joey, as he said in his introduction, was never one to talk about his past. He never spoke about his parents. I certainly never met them. I don't even remember how I learned his father made shoes. So to get a glimpse back at this part of his life, for an old friend, it was very special. I remember telling Joey all this after I read the manuscript back in ‘41. He just smiled.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 23

With the way this note happens right before Joey practically spells out that he trusts nobody and denies everyone even the most innocuous information out of self-preservation in the very next story, it does not feel like Nathan's sharing a heartwarming moment between friends. It feels like he's bragging about his position and accomplishments in their predator-and-prey relationship; like he's proud of himself for slowly breaking Joey down and eventually getting him to divulge info he'd been denying him. If your parents lived nearby and were perfectly lovely people, why do you think that you would neither talk about them with nor introduce them to someone who was supposedly one of your closest friends? I'll get into why I think he finally gave the info up in a bit.

In the Lottie story, if Nathan had only said that he wasn't sure the letter exchange had actually happened, I would've been like “yeah sure, we all know Joey's a liar. 🤷🏻‍♀️” But no, he specifically eases us from confirmation of Eckhart and Donaldson's existences even though he claims to have only briefly met them, to claiming Joey was such a good storyteller he could make you think you personally met someone who never existed even if he'd literally just told you that they were imaginary, to casting doubt on the very existence of a girl he was described as having been known by name to outside of the letter exchange.

“I met Joey the following year at the lab and only briefly had the chance to meet [Private Donaldson and Private Eckhart]. They were every bit the characters Joey describes them to be.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 27

“When I first read this I forgot, despite Joey saying as much, that this was fiction, and spent far too much time racking my brain over who this James [who Joey says he told Lottie he met when he came by the lab to say hi to me] was. Joey is so good with his storytelling that even when he tells you it's not real, you can forget a moment later.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 37 (emphasis added)

“I have gone through every piece of correspondence Joey ever saved as part of my work preserving his memory and documenting his life, and I must confess I was looking forward to reading Lottie's letters in person, having been moved to tears reading this part of the manuscript thirty years ago. Unfortunately, I have not been able to find them. It is possible they were lost to time, and I do deep down hope that to be true. However, even if this story is revealed to be one of Joey's excellent fictions, I think it doesn't really matter. Joey would, of course, call it another example of his illusion. I think the message in the story is meaningful regardless whether it really happened or not. And regardless if Lottie actually herself existed or not, she is a fine embodiment of the brave women who served our country in war.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 41 (emphasis added)

I absolutely do not think this is a reality check, I think Nathan's trying to erase Lottie's existence – even gaslighting anyone who knew her in real life into thinking they'd imagined her – to throw us off the “Joey's Illusion of Living ‘philosophy’ is literally just the coping mechanism of an extremely traumatized man” scent; I wonder if Lottie actually fell victim to suicide shortly after writing to Joey that she was spiraling into a deep, dark depression, and Joey made up everything that happened after that specific letter in order to cope with the loss – pretend that “my dear friend isn't dead despite being sent somewhere there was no actual fighting where I thought she'd be safe; I saved her life and she's living a Happily Ever After overseas, married to a handsome young British soldier” – rather than just the goodbye letter to wrap her story up in a neat bow… Maybe Nathan even helped him pretend she was still alive in order to endear himself to this literal kid who was destroyed with grief?

Speaking of which, does nobody find the circumstances under which Nathan and Joey met… concerning? Nathan says “we knew each other since we were teenagers,” which sounds fine until you realize they met because Joey lied about his age and joined the army while still a minor, where he was bullied and pressured into things like underage drinking by grown-@$$ legal adults, multiple of which were also of higher rank. And not only was Nathan one of those grown-@$$ legal adults of higher rank and definitely bullying him just like the others (“I swear I definitely didn't join the other guys in giving him that Real Man™ complex of his like he says—” yeah, sure, Nathan, I totally believe you /s. 🙄), but clearly his horrifying apparent hobby that I'll explain next was already established at the time, seeing as Joey saw the photo of Ivan Newsome dying in agony with his own eyeballs when Nathan introduced him to Walter Richmond… 😬🚩

I'm convinced that Walter, Arthur, and Isabel were three of Nathan's previous victims, and they mirror the relationships he has with Joey, Allison, and Susie.

Walter looking at Nathan “as if asking permission to speak” before engaging Joey in conversation (Nathan nudges us towards believing they had no prior relationship by stating that he was flattered by Joey's observation that he had a way of introducing anyone so that it felt like they were his guest even if he'd just met them… but technically neither confirms nor denies anything 👀) has creepily similar vibes to how Joey “just smiled” in response to Nathan's gushing over the info on his parents; I feel like Joey gave up the info because he had to jump through hoops in order for Nathan to give him permission to publish his book— to be able to get the thing out the door without tripping any of Nathan's “Joey's disobeying and must be punished” alarms. Also, notice how Walter mysteriously had “a lot of people who knew him, but nobody who wanted to claim the title of ‘Walter's friend…’” and how the only people Joey's apparently still in contact with in BATIM are A: one of Nathan's (confirmed) employees, B: a janitor who didn't even realize Joey would remember him so definitely doesn't have enough of a relationship with Joey for Nathan to consider him a threat, and C: a shady veterinarian (wouldn't be surprised if he works for Nathan, as well). It's a classic abuser's tactic to isolate and villainize their victim so that they have no choice but to rely on the abuser; I'll get into more reasons I think that was happening in a bit.

I find it suspicious how Arthur not only personally delivers Ivan's effects to his sister Isabel, just tells her what happened which you'd expect someone with such fresh and debilitatingly severe PTSD to be very reluctant to do, and sticks around to befriend her, but also attends her art show showcasing Walter's war photos— it feels like someone was forcing Arthur to do all of this behind-the-scenes, and maybe the firecracker scene wasn't just about Isabel punishing the rich people for their morbid fascinations, but also Nathan punishing Arthur for being difficult about the situation behind-the-scenes. Meanwhile, Joey just happens to hire this random voice actress to replace Susie who we know just happens to be working for Nathan by the time BATIM happens, the memo that she had been hired specifically marked “don't deliver to Susie” just happens to make it into Susie's possession (seeing as she paraphrases it to Henry), Allison seems to know full well that Joey can't fire her when he tries to in DCTL, and then, by TLO, something has apparently happened to where Tom's been rehired which neither he nor Joey had any choice in and he doesn't wanna talk to anyone about (I doubt it was just all the deaths in DCTL, especially considering Joey went from his furious “I never want to see you again” attitude to begging Tom to come back. We've only heard him beg once before, which I'll get into later), and Tom and Allison have bizarrely switched opinions on the situation and machine (Allison changing from “your invention is amazing, Tom! Why are you stuck on the bad parts of the situation?” in DCTL to “I don't understand why you accepted this job back” in TLO, and Tom changing from “horrible things happened because of my machine, I wish I'd never been ensnared by this place” in DCTL to “why doesn't Ally understand? You don't just abandon a miracle” in TLO)—? It seems to me like Allison was never truly Joey's employee, she was Nathan's employee the whole time (which puts Joey's refusal to attend her and Tom's wedding in a whole new light), and Joey wasn't the only one punished for his failures and attempts to override the steel tycoon's authority.

To reiterate, since I saw some people being confused about the massive change: even with the memory loss issue, Allison's opinion in BATDR is just a natural progression from when the something happened between DCTL and TLO. 😛😬

Anyways, I get the distinct impression that creating situations like these to turn people into murder puppets without anyone being the wiser he was even involved is a hobby of Nathan's.

“…I am glad that he wrote [the murder mystery story] down this one time. It helps me to remember Joey at his most charming and sharp. Later years he became too fixated on things he might have gotten wrong, there was too much guilt and worry, too much fear. It didn't feel like the same man at the end, that's for sure.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion of Living, pg. 98

You can't tell me that doesn't sound like he gets off on seeing how absolutely ruthless he can make his victims whilst still having them believe they're in the right and he's bitter as heck that one of his favorite pet projects came to his senses and was haunted by his conscience later in life— he literally just admitted he preferred a Joey who admired a murderer and thought that allowing people to die and getting murdered himself must've been worth it for Walter because now he has the immortality of being in a fascinating story instead of having lived in mediocrity over a Joey who felt guilt.

On that note, I absolutely do not believe Nathan's note on Henry's story was him trying to get the truth out about Henry being a despicable person. This is actually the chapter that first clued me in on Nathan's creepiness when I did my ADHD “skim the whole book except reading all the way through anything that looks especially interesting before properly reading” thing I do.

“Joey has always been a professional person, far more so in many ways than me. That is why this section of the book is so forgiving of the man who abandoned the studio he helped create. Joey can't help but see the good in people. That being said, as a good friend of Joey's, I know that Henry's departure was a great upheaval for him and a great personal betrayal. Joey never truly forgave Henry, and I don't think he should have felt obligated to. The fact that Joey is so gracious in this part of the book is a reflection of his incredible generosity in allowing Henry Stein to be stainless in the eyes of history. I think, had he lived longer, Joey might have in later years called it his greatest illusion.” ~ Nathan Arch, The Illusion Of Living, pg. 155

At first I found his saltiness funny, but then I read Joey's actual descriptions and… he's very clearly trying and failing to put down an amazing person, not build up a horrible one. I wondered why Nathan would be claiming the opposite and I realized— it sounds like he's admitting to being Dead Sea Level salty that Joey got terminally ill specifically because he's certain that, if he hadn't, he would've eventually been able to fully convince Joey that Henry was the villain rather than himself and therefore Joey wouldn't have reached out to the animator towards the end of his life in BATIM. Which leads me to my next observation:

I think Joey's play, “The Angel and The Devil,” was about Henry and Nathan.

I don't care that the Shoulder Angel is played by Abby and the Shoulder Devil is played by Joey, lol; that doesn't matter when you look at the actual content. I want you to read this excerpt:

Angel: [Empathy] is a wonderful talent that also leads [humans] down dark paths. Devil: Thank goodness for dark paths, they lead all great artists to their greatest creations. Angel: Empathy is your provenance then? Devil: We share it— for you it leads men to reach out and help, build hospitals, begin charities… Angel: For you it allows men to achieve their greatness through manipulation and fear. Devil: Is it not wonderful?

Going back to the murder mystery story, Walter and Isabel's thought processes perfectly match what the Shoulder Devil in Joey's play is described as using empathy to inspire humanity to do:

Walter was inspired to let Ivan die so that his photo – his art – would have a more compelling story that tugs at the heartstrings.

Isabel was inspired to kill Walter for the crime of letting Ivan die, masterfully manipulating her confession so that it technically wasn't a confession, instilling fear of herself in everyone present with the fact that if she did do it then she was untouchable legally thanks to her money, and finally, she was fully convinced that she would also be untouchable socially— even be better off, because people would see her as a hero for delivering justice to a monster like Walter.

Going back to BATIM, Joey literally says this to our faces:

“The truth is, you were always so good at pushing, Henry… Pushing me to do the right thing. You should've pushed a little harder.” ~ Joey Drew, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 5

Does that not sound like Henry was good at using empathy to inspire kindness/etc. the way the Shoulder Angel is described as doing (Joey's actually very right that empathy is a morally neutral phenomenon that can be used for good or evil! *Spoken with hyper-empathetic autistic/low-to-no-empathy autistic solidarity*)?

The Angel and Devil also say that whichever of them the man they were assigned to doesn't choose will have to leave. This tells me that the ending of Joey's play – where it's implied the man the angel and devil were assigned to chose the angel – was read rather than acted out (with the excuse that they for some reason couldn't pick a random person to play him out of the crowd like they did for the Hatcheck Girl) in order to symbolize how Joey wanted to choose his true friend and make the toxic one leave, but he had that choice taken away from him when Henry was driven away despite his best efforts. In other words, I think both his version of the friend breakup story and Henry's version have elements of truth and deception to them.

Anybody notice that it seems like Wally and Tom seemed to have been being pitted against and told lies about each other as well as having their work sabotaged by an unknown third party?

“So here's my beef with this whole Gent thing. I went to school, yeah that's right— me! Star Student at Brickmore High. I know my potatoes! So where's this ‘Mr. Connor’ fella get off telling me what to do? These college boys. They can tell ya what's wrong but if you try to fix it on ‘em. They're outta here!” ~ Wally Franks, Boris and the Dark Survival

“Not all of us are well connected, son. Not all of us have chances. Especially to get a job as an engineer when I ain't had no proper education and training.” ~ Thomas Connor, Dreams Come to Life, pg. 252

“If there's one loose bolt around here we're gonna have a whole mess of trouble. And wouldn't you know it, that Wally guy is one loose bolt! He keeps the floors clean he says, he didn't sign on for no science project. All I know is someone needs to keep these pipes maintained. And he can't be a slacker.” ~ Thomas Connor, Boris and the Dark Survival

Wally thinks he's being looked down upon for not having gone to college like Tom (who didn't go to college) and his efforts to help out are not just unappreciated but met with unreasonable emotional response. Meanwhile, Tom thinks Wally's being selfish and lazy and leaving all the work to be done by him. Sound familiar?

“…Henry left for his own reasons, and the correspondence between us became less and less. To be honest, it almost felt like a weight off when he left. He had grown more sensitive as the studio became more successful and giving him pep talks had become exhausting for me. All the good qualities he brought, the hard work and diligence, were being undermined by a restless need for something different. Something that wasn't Bendy. I'll never understand that drive. Bendy was and is perfection.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 176-177

“Only two weeks into this project and already it's gotten interesting. Joey is a man of ideas… And only ideas. When I agreed to start this whole thing with him I thought there would be a little more give and take. Instead I give, and he takes. I haven't seen Linda for days now. Still, someone has to make this happen. When in doubt, just keep drawing Henry. On the plus side, I've got a new character I think people are gonna love.” ~ Henry Stein, Bendy and the Ink Machine, ch. 3

Joey thinks that Henry was being unreasonably emotional and looking down upon Bendy as not good enough (when he obviously loved the character/cartoons), and that his efforts to help were unappreciated. Meanwhile, Henry thinks Joey was being a selfish, lazy leech and leaving all the work to be done by him.

Is it really a stretch at all to wonder if Henry and Joey were similarly being pitted against and told lies about each other as well as having their work sabotaged by an unknown third party? Maybe the exact same third party?

This makes me very suspicious about who was really behind the worrying newspaper in Joey's apartment; something tells me that Joey's Shoulder Devil successfully pushed his Shoulder Angel off that right shoulder. Twice. I can see Nathan thinking “fine, if you won't give up on this stupid animator, I'll use this opportunity to remove him from the picture permanently and poetically…”

Is Joey's being so touched by the memory of Isabel “angelically” helping Arthur during his war flashbacks an “I wish my Shoulder Angel would come save me?” And is his horror at the descriptions of Shell Shock (PTSD) as basically a time loop foreshadowing that he ends up trapped in a real time loop, himself, by Nathan's sadistic design? I think it's likely, especially after reading @dreamfisher-nux's posts speculating on Wilson's identity. If he's the Gent worker who stole Shaun's tool belt in BATDS and “somebody” who stole Tom's invention in Allison's BATIM Chapter 5 letter, and that invention was the seeing tool, so Wilson's the one that's been tampering with Henry's invisible messages, and he potentially murdered Henry and Joey when Henry returned at Joey's request… How much of this and how much more might he have been doing under Nathan's influence? Is he another one of Nathan's Murder Puppets? 👀

I think all the Henry stuff also explains why Joey claims that Sammy, Jack, and Norman were hired after Mr. Animator left despite the evidence in BATIM and DCTL that Sammy and Norman knew him personally. The only two versions of events he's being allowed to hear are “Henry leaving is your fault and your feelings about the situation are unreasonable” and “Henry was an awful person, you should be glad he's gone.” Nathan would never allow him to hear “it's Nathan's fault and your feelings about the situation are valid,” so he's gotta choose between believing two very painful other options; why wouldn't he try to discredit the most painful one?

While we're adding to the list of people who Nathan seems to have made disappear Mafia Boss-style, it sure seems awfully convenient that the two main Crack-Up Comics artists’ names “appear to have been lost to time” after they wrote a comic where Bendy (Joey) was literally sweating over how Boswell (Nathan) was the richest cat in the world and could crush him like a bug if he didn't perform his job to satisfaction…

…Sounds to me like Nathan did something to shut these two people up so that word of the true nature of his and Joey's relationship wouldn't get out.

Also, interesting how the disappearances of not only a reporter-in-training and the sister of two well-known entertainers but also the only son of the richest, most influential and most dangerous man in Atlantic City didn't get Mr. Joey “Bankrupt From Impulsive Spending Who Apparently Doesn't Even Have The Power To Fire His Own Employees (and ‘Employees’) Nor The Respect Of Enough People To Not Be Giggled At And Whispered About During His Own Speech At His Own Party” Drew and all of his employees arrested or worse… In fact, from the new teaser and archive images that came out, we now know the studio survived for almost two years afterwards before filing bankruptcy and closing forever…

…at which point Joey was mysteriously missing for a while. This is pretty much pure speculation, but I wonder if it could be that Joey's need for a wheelchair stems from an injury sustained in this time? Mr. Mafia Boss decided he needed his kneecaps busted or something?? At any rate, it sounds to me like Joey had someone richer, more influential, and more dangerous than Mr. Chambers “on his side…” until he failed too many times, and needed to be punished more severely? 👀

“Again I shook my head. Didn't [Constance] understand that this was not how it worked? She hadn't lived in my world. Any company that could afford such a machine, that could hide it, that had such dark huge secrets, they had to be protected by something huge as well.” ~ Bill Chambers, Bendy: The Lost Ones, pg. 191

Then, ink machine things continued at Gent… until the year Allison and Tom got married.

Sounds to me like Gent might've been condemned in order to punish Allison and Tom either for the very fact that they got married (making them more-difficult-to-control puppets) or because they failed to get Joey to come to their wedding where Nathan could access him in-person again…

This archive entry sounds as if Joey had to go into hiding, perhaps to escape Nathan and/or people like Bill's dad who were waiting for Nathan to rescind his protection? Also, as an animation history nerd, it sounds to me like the Bendy cartoons were picked up by other studios besides Archgate in attempt to reboot them after JDS kicked the bucket (as has happened to countless cartoons whose original studios kicked the bucket in real life, e.g., the Fleischer cartoons, the Hanna-Barbera cartoons, the Veggie Tales cartoons, etc.), and it wouldn't surprise me if these “minor attempts to rekindle the magic” were Joey's feeble attempts at keeping what was left of Bendy out of Nathan's claws. Remember, Nathan didn't say in Crack-Up Comics that he “inherited” the Bendy IP from Joey's estate, he said he bought it, as further confirmed in the final archive entry.

This means Joey did not leave Bendy to Nathan in his will. In fact, it sounds like he either didn't have a will at all or it was destroyed when he died… Anyone notice that Joey's secret BATDS recording, where he asks Nathan for money, is the only time we've heard him sound audibly nervous?

Strange how, in DCTL, Joey calls Bertrum “Bertrum” when introducing him to the most uncomfortable person at his party, who respects him as his boss; it's not until the people who hold financial power over him start whispering and giggling that he introduces him as “Bertie,” as if he wasn't specifically trying to slight Bertrum as the man in question assumed, but instead was trying to assert to all the hungry cats in the room that he was also a cat, rather than a tasty lil mouse for them to devour… Nathan is worse than them? He's able to break Joey's facade of confidence that this crowd of investors could only make him reinforce? What's worse, the investors he tries to persuade like he does everyone else, convince that they should give him money because everything's great… but Nathan, who's supposedly his friend, he begs for money, saying that the one-and-only reason he's asking this is because the situation is dire (implying he has no choice). That's… worrisome.

Funny how, across DCTL, TIOL, and TLO, Joey consistently pulls or feels the urge to pull his cruel pranks on people anytime a new person seems to be hiding things from him or trying to take advantage of him. Buddy after being caught stealing art supplies? Bill after being caught lying about not having knowledge of the ink machine? Sammy when he suspected his deadpan-&-monotone-ness was an act and that he didn't respect him? Almost seems like the pranks are actually the survival mechanism of someone who's had a whole lotta really bad experiences with betrayal, having things hidden from him, getting taken advantage of, etc. rather than just the product of a twisted sense of humor, hm…?

“…inside I was feeling a little angry now. I don't do well when people are disloyal, and this was something I'd expected to be kept between me and Abby. Then I stopped and controlled myself (I have excellent control over my emotions) and realized I had never actually told her there was anything secret about this. I'd have to be more careful in the future. Believe you me, I have been since. A contract is a fine thing to have between colleagues, even finer at times between friends.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 170-171

“[Sammy] leaned back on both elbows on the stone wall. Beneath him Fifth Avenue roared and certain death would come to anyone who toppled over the edge down onto it. The man definitely had confidence in that wall. I had a sudden urge to give him a shove. Not push him over, but just to see his reaction. This might sound strange, but I needed to see a human moment from him, I needed to see the man he was hiding from me. That's the trouble when you're interested in recreating the illusion of the world. You want to see the truth of it as much as possible.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 188-189 (emphasis added)

Also, it's weird that, when talking about reuniting with Nathan at the Sparkling Unicorn, Joey claims not to have known Nathan very well in the army but to always have liked his personality… after having claimed to be close enough friends with him that he helped him write fake letters from a fictional character to Lottie, just a few pages earlier. Either Joey's not nearly as good a liar as he's supposed to be… or this discrepancy was created on purpose in an attempt to tell us that Joey only liked Nathan's personality back when they were in the army because he didn't actually know him as well as he thought he did. 👀

This all together…

…really makes one wonder if Joey's little intro to TIOL wasn't him humble-bragging, but genuinely explaining that the reason he took so long to write it was because A: he's been being gaslit to heck and back for decades and genuinely doesn't know what reality is as a result, and B: refusing to write this book was one of the few ways he was able to assert real control over his own life for a very long time…

“Looking back is awkward. Looking back, you can trip yourself up. I've never been a fan of it. Which is why I never had a desire to tell my story. No matter how many book deals were offered, no matter how many dinners were thrown for me. I am a man who makes up my own mind. You can't buy me. No one buys Joey Drew.” ~ Joey Drew, The Illusion of Living, pg. 3

Speaking of the intro, interesting how, as much as Joey tries to claim that his surprise at Simmons remembering his “philosophy” is because Simmons isn't the brightest bulb in the factory, he still gets noticeably hung up on the fact that his words had stuck with someone; it's almost as if the vast majority of people he knew either openly viewed him as a talentless idiot or genuinely were trying to manipulate him as he was so seemingly paranoid about, and he was beyond desperate for any scrap of genuine praise anyone would give him, no…? *Stares at basically every audio log, literally every Nathan note, and every scene where Joey reacted unsubtly ecstatically to compliments and/or irate at any hint someone was looking down on him*

Anyone notice how, throughout his whole memoir, Joey sings the praises of anyone he clearly wants to be like and drags anyone who resembles what he's actually like through the mud? “Omigosh, Sammy is just so talented and powerful and automatically respected and praised by everyone! He's so awesome! 🤩” “Yuck, Detective Sinclair wears a persona to hide how useless and powerless he is and is just so desperate for validation! I hate him! 😤 Btw, this stuff is not what my philosophy is about, I'm actually changing reality here (whatever makes you feel better, Joey /hj).” I guess this leads me into the next section…

Continued in Part Two: Expanding (Mostly) On My DCTL & TLO Thoughts

[quintenrosenburgwrites]

mirren sketches >:)

lyrics are from Mixed Messages and Red Flags btw

OH ALSO i wrote some dialogue stuff, see under the read more! warning for some humor that's way more nsfw than i'd usually post (i mean. come on. it's dialtown. they're awkward as hell. they're obviously gonna say something questionable /lh) also some more serious stuff (self hate issues, depression, anxiety)

Nice/Fun stuff:

- They say pretty much everything that comes to mind, and once they get a train of thought it doesn't take long for it to derail and crash through a small community, leaving a trail of destruction behind it. TLDR they're really rambly.

"Birthdays are kinda weird. Like obviously there's the whole counting down to your death thing, but also, like. You're basically celebrating the anniversary of you getting evicted from your mom's, uh. You know. Okay that sounded REALLY, extremely, UNCOMFORTABLY Freudian. Can we PLEASE pretend I never said that? Thanks. Oh, right, the murder case."

- They have a tendency to just accept things and move on without commenting further.

"Oh. You lay eggs. Anyways, can you help me break into the ticket booth? I need to check the entry records."

- They're a fucking dork /pos (They're really sweet, but in a convoluted way)

"I, uh, please don't think this is weird, but I made characters for both of us! This one's named May, and they're kinda a failure. They failed their parents, they failed their old best friend, they failed their job. They used to think they had no redeeming qualities. Then, one day, they meet the other character, Ginger. Ginger seems terrifying initially, and even if it isn't obvious at first, they're not actually human. Ginger and May go on a journey in which May tries to learn magic in order to protect people and redeem themself for their past actions, even though they despise the idea of learning magic, but, eventually... Ginger helps them see their own value, helps May see that they're a person too. They are allowed to be selfish sometimes, they're just as worthy of happiness as anyone else. And, uh, maybe... Maybe that saved their life a bit. And maybe, May is allowed to do things for themself sometimes. Ginger means a whole lot to May, even if they have trouble expressing it, and... uh, I guess that's everything. Um. What do you think?"

Serious, bad stuff:

- They see very little value in themself, and tend to expect others to insult or make fun of them. To combat this, they typically are quick to insult themself, in an attempt to get there before anybody else can. It hurts less if they're the one saying it.

"And before you say it! I know it's super annoying when people are constantly insulting themselves, cause like it comes off as compliment seeking, right? I promise that's not what I'm trying to do, I'm just kinda trying to warn you I guess? But, uh, that's still no excuse, and I can totally just shut up if you want! Or, wait, I shouldn't have assumed it's annoying you, I could just be restating what you're thinking? I mean, the things I'm saying about myself aren't exactly incorrect- Just, let me know if I'm being annoying. I'd rather shut up than annoy you, haha. ha. Wow, that sounded fake."

- They tend to blame everything on themself, and act very self destructively.

"Oh god, this is all my fucking fault, I'm so sorry. It's okay if you hate me- or, no, you SHOULD hate me! Fuck, I'm- Why did you even talk to me in the first place?! Do you realize- If you just- You would've been better off if you just walked past me and ignored me! I need to- This is for your wellbeing, being around me is only gonna make things worse for you. I'll be fine, just- Don't follow me. I mean, I don't know why you would in the first place."

- They put everyone else before themself.

"I need to make it up to them, even if I ruin my life in the process. It's not like my life was looking particularly bright in the first place, which is entirely my own fault, so, y'know. Yeah."

[thecoolerliauditore]

i don't get all the fuss about CCs reading fanfic. if you didn't want people to see it then why would you put it publicly online. like aren't you taught that if you don't want something to be seen you shouldn't put it on the internet?

i don't understand the people mad at tommyinnit for reading fanfic. like you have this space where you talk about this real person but *he's* not allowed to read it? wtf

anon this is so angrily worded are you okay lmao

i'm not really huge on fic writing myself (dabbled in it here and there but i have friends who are writers) and i care negative percent about the dee ess em pee side of things so I'm not really The Person to ask but I'll try my best to explain 👍

CCs reading fanfic is fine. They're allowed to lurk as much as everyone else is.

CCs reading fanfic in videos is exposing fic writers to their wider audience and mcyt fans have a history of harassing fandom creators into online nonexistence for any reason under the sun while simultaneously the CC themselves actively makes money off of the fic writer's work.

I ramble a bit more and it got kinda long but that's the main point. (more stuff under the cut)

Fics are "about" the cc, yes but they are often not made for the cc but rather for the writer and maybe a close group of friends. That means they're often a combination of the writer's love for the source material and a sprinkling of their own interests/experiences. This can go anywhere from smashing two interests together in crossover AUs to deeply personal stuff like using gay ships to explore their own experience as a queer person.

Straight CCs are Not Going To Understand the latter in the way that writer and their gay friends are going to enjoy it. They can read it but they're never gonna be able to look at it the way their fans will.

That's one of the more forward examples but this applies to everything. You will never have that degree of separation from the source material to be able to enjoy fic the way fans do, you're simply not the target audience.

What's more is (not talking about the thomas innit guy or whatever i genuinely don't know who he is lol) these reading fanfic videos tend to have more of an unfortunate.. point and laugh aspect to them? A lot of the time it's presented in this LOOK AT HOW WEIRD THIS THING IS! way that can be humiliating for the author and incite even more harassment because the audience gets introduced to the author not as a person but as entertainment. You can see how this is a bad combination when you consider the previous point about a lot of fanfic being personal, I hope. It all can feel just a bit exploitative.

It does Not take a lot for a CC to open the floodgates on harassment. Just earlier this year another youtuber followed one of his fan artists and that eventually lead to that artist being full-on doxxed. Regardless of anyone's opinions on that situation, whether the youtuber is to blame, etc. etc. it's a pretty blatant example of how CCs even just interacting with fan creators on social media can lead to people being unhinged if they don't like their work. Now imagine making a Whole Video.

and don't say "oh just don't write weird stuff you don't want them seeing" because:

a space where writers are afraid to share their more intimate experiences with taboo subjects like mental health, queerness, abuse, and so on is Not Healthy artistically. Less communication about these topics = less people finding others who are like them = more people feeling alone in the world. I don't want that just in a fandom because a youtuber (who is not forced to look at fic) doesn't want their cubito to kiss certain people.

people. will. find. things. weird. anyway. i've seen twitter call the most mundane, wholesome, coffee shop au fics PROBLEMATIC for daring to ship two characters who have a four or five year age gap. I've seen literally almost every ship you can think of get called incestuous at some point or another because Someone On Twitter said they have "sibling energy" and all of a sudden it's incest and the writer should Die I guess.

"weird stuff" is really hard to define in the first place.

CCs are not authority and we don't have to listen to or cater to them. Fic is never going to directly affect them.

this isn't even getting into character/cc divide and how it's different for everyone and a lot people don't like "writing about real people" so on so forth.

This is only tangentially related but there's this.. odd thing i've noticed where fic writers aren't "respected" in the way artists are in fandoms? I've noticed people are often "scared" to talk to artists and react to things like animatics with more awe than anything else ("this has no right to be as good as it is!") whereas with fanfics it's more like. WE'RE READING FANFIC?!?! 😳😳 (I GET MARRIED TO WHO?!?!?)

There's something to be said about how a skill gap in visual art is more immediately noticeable to your average person than in writing but anyway. anyway.

[writing-by-mimi]

Slumber Party

Alpha!Asmodeus x F!Omega!MC

Adult content, read at your own risk. Not beta read.

  Asmodeus. The man was perfect, flawless, and sweeter than sugar. An attractive Alpha with hidden raw strength you'd seen more than once, he just didn't make a habit of showing it. You didn't blame him, why get your hands dirty when demons like Lucifer and Beelzebub existed and loved making quick work of other demons causing trouble?

      The only flaw the man had, which wasn't even really a flaw, more of a... staggering disappointment to your heart,  was that he only saw Betas as people to have sex with, not any kind of long term commitment.

     An Alpha and Omega would share a bond that they just couldn't with Betas. Asmo knew that, recognized it. He'd told you himself a week after getting to the Devildom that he wouldn't ever settle for a Beta. They lacked 'the ability to please him' as he had rudely told you. Most likely he was referring to going into heat...

     Yes, you'd grown closer, and he never turned down a romp with a Beta because of their status, but he made it very clear that any type of permanent commitment would be with an Omega, and an Omega only.

      It made his advances and teasing worse. You'd fallen for him like everyone else in the frigging realm, and he couldn't even charm you. Your dirty secret of loving him would have to stay just that. It wouldn't matter if you confessed right now to him, even though he told you you'd be the exception, that he'd love you more than anyone else in all the realms...it was just Asmo being Asmo. A flirt. You knew he didn't mean anything by it.

     It hurt, knowing you weren't his preferred type for lasting love, but he never treated you or other Betas differently for being Betas.

     You'd never been in love before, but Asmo clicked all the boxes. The feelings you had for him you didn't share with anyone else. He was the only person you wanted to spend your life with in such a way...but being doomed from the start you had tried to get rid of the feelings.

     They persisted, even leaving the Devildom didn't help. After all these years, you had just accepted the fact you were going to die alone, pining for Asmodeus like countless others.

     It was silly, spending so much time with him. You shouldn't. All it did was serve to make your heart race and look like a fool when you couldn't get a sentence out after he would fluster you. He'd laugh and go about his business, having his fill of flirting and flustering the human.

     At this point, you wondered why you subjected yourself to Saturday Spa Day over and over again.

     Watching his thigh muscles move, so little of his bare legs covered, well toned, so unbearably perfect... Knowing that just a few inches above his impossibly short robe that his-

      "There you are!"

      You couldn't help but jump. Being caught thinking about the Avatar, only for the demon himself to show up...

      "Oh, what has you all hot and bothered?" He smirked at your darkening cheeks as you turned away.

     "Nothing!" You quickly answered and pushed your thoughts away.

     "Well, 'nothing' has more of your attention than me, and its my day with you sweetie." He looked up from his phone. "Okay, so I found this new human safe bubble bath I want you to test because I'm reviewing it. So far, on the demon side, I give it a solid C, so your input could save them. I'll judge how it does for your skin, hair and nails, but don't hold back." He pulled you up by the arm and ushered you hurriedly into his bathroom. "Oh, also, I found a robe that you'll absolutely love since Mammon stole your other one." You could hear him muttering under his breath about his brother. "After your bath, I'm going to do the usual, but I found some different products that I think will work much better for you." He added as his phone rang and he excused himself with a wink.

     Closing the door after him, you let out a sigh. Being so casual while walking around looking so attractive! It just wasn't fair. Your heart could only take so much before you were sure to have a heart attack.

     Undressing and running the bath, you added a generous amount of the bubble bath, the Avatars bathtub could definitely handle it.

      The smell was wonderful and the water the perfect temperature as you slid into the tub. Turning off the water, you moved back to the side and laid back while reaching for a random bottle of product to read while you enjoyed your time.

     You grimaced. Omega product. No doubt for when he brought them home... He had his own Alpha products on the other side of the bath. Looking through the rest, you gave a bitter laugh and sunk into the bubbles. No Beta products. Of course, there weren't many for your type...but even Asmo brought back Betas. Maybe he wanted them to smell like Omegas.

    Pushing the depressing thought from your head, you placed the bottle back where it had originally been.

     Stupid Omegas. Who wants to go into heat and smell perfect to every Alpha in a mile radius anyway?

      You sighed, blowing the bubbles back from your face. You wanted too. You wanted to be the forefront of the Alphas mind. Frenzied for sex, needy under Asmodeus, begging for his skillful touch.

       Holding your breath, you submerged yourself. Stupid thoughts...

      Emerging, you wiped your face and took a deep breath. Maybe subjecting yourself to him every Saturday should end? It would be easier for you. Give him more time to bed who he pleased. Probably a pretty little Omega who would be everything you couldn't be for him.

     Not showing up would mean you wouldn't get to spend so much time with him, but it also meant you wouldn't get so down on yourself.

      Along with being so sad, you had also served to excite yourself thinking of Asmodeus going to town on an Omega.

     Fuck. If you had just been born different. Asmo would be all over you in a moment. Your body withering under his touches as he fucked you through a heat cycle. Urges being met so completely for a week...

      "Sweetie! What's the matter? Oh fuck, it's the bath, isn't it?" Asmodeus's hand yanking you up out if the tub made you scream as you moved to cover yourself.

      A gasp left you as cold water hit your body. Asmodeus had turned on his shower head and was rinsing you off. His warm hands quickly sliding up and down your body, doing his best to remove the bubble bath from your skin and hair.

      Dropping the shower head he cupped your face and used his thumbs to wipe your eyes.

      When had you started to cry?

       "Oh shit, sweetie, I'm so sorry. I didn't know it would hurt you. If I had, I would have never got it." He grabbed the towel  that had been set by the edge of the bath and wrapped you in it. "I'm sorry it's so cold." He held you tightly to his chest.

      It was a good thing your face wasn't showing, otherwise he'd see the embarrassment on your face. It wasn't the bubble baths fault, you'd made yourself cry. Though you'd rather die than ever admit it.

      The smell of Asmo was tantalizing, his heart beat was fast in his perfectly sculpted chest as he held you tightly for a few moments longer before moving you from him at arms length, inspecting you. "Did I miss any spots? I'm so sorry it was cold." His hand swept a piece of wet hair from your face as he looked down to you.

      "I'm okay, really. It's probably just because it's better suited to Omegas..." you moved your face from his hands and looked away. I was the best excuse you could come up with.

      If you had been looking, you would have seen his eyes soften and the solemn smile on his face. "Maybe..." He turned to get the robe he purchased for you and averted his gaze as he handed it to you. "I'll pull out a sweater for you."

       You took the robe as he excused himself.

---

     Closing the door, Asmodeus leaned against it for a moment and let out a deep breath. Fuck. He had been holding you so close, any longer and he wouldn't have had enough time to escape without you noticing his bulge.

     You had scared him half to death, and holding your shivering form to his body had ignited his Alpha responses. To protect you and care for you on a level much deeper than just a friend and as his pact holder.

      He couldn't understand it. You had illicted responses like this from him before. Things a Beta shouldn't bring out in him. He thought it the pact...but even that could only explain part of it. It didn't happen to his brothers.

      But he had smelled you. You were Beta through and through, which only served to confuse him. You were unique...maybe the answer laid in your genes. You had decended from angels, from a long lost sister...perhaps the need was so strong because of that. It was the only answer he had.

     Pushing off of the door, he moved to his closet. You'd been shivering so hard in his arms, the clothes you had on wouldn't warm you fast enough for his liking.

      Grabbing a grey sweater, he couldn't help but smile. You'd look ravishing in it. Your breast accentuated because of the low cut and the fit, the color neutral enough you wouldn't look washed out or sickly, allowing your skin to shine.

     He also moved to grab a small pair of shorts. Yes, it defeated the purpose to warm you up, but your butt would look cute and it would give him an excuse to cuddle you in his bed. He'd just tell you it was so he could paint your toe nails...

     Knocking, he waited for your response before opening the door. The robe he had gotten you matched his own, Mammon knew not to steal it, so if it was a perfect replica, his brother shouldn't mess with it. Plus, it meant he got to look at your legs...

      You looked absolutely precious, cheeks heating as you pulled the robe down trying to conceal your exposed thighs. Your supple breast barely in the robe, as it didn't have room to accommodate your cup size. The cold water had hardened your nipples, the silk doing you no favors in hiding your predicament. Your thighs squeezing together... He looked to his phone to distract himself. "Sweater." He announced as he set it on the counter, trying not to think about how your breast felt under his hands, how he wished he could have taken his time and caressed them gently instead...

      "T-thanks." You made no moves to grab the clothes as you stood and shivered. It felt like if you moved, your pussy or ass would be falling out of the itty bitty robe.

      "Awww, are you feeling shy?" He couldn't help the words coming out. The need to tease you and see your cheeks heat had just overwhelmed him as he strode closer to you.

      "Yes, okay!" You scoffed. "Like absolutely everything is just hanging out."

      "Well, you don't have to worry, Mc. It's just me here." He purred, finger tracing down the front seam of your robe, down your breast and stomach, flicking the tie making you jump.

      Of course you didn't, you weren't some sexy alluring Omega. You slapped his hand away and went for your clothes that were haphazardly on the floor. Making sure to face him so you didn't expose yourself, you picked up your shirt and pants, keeping your panties and bra wrapped in between your garments.

         Changing the subject, Asmodeus grabbed the sweater and shorts and pressed them to your chest as he took your dirty clothes from your hands. "I'll add these to my wash. Also, I ordered some takeout." He turned and headed to the exit, "It should be here when you get out."

  ---

     He had made the right choice, snatching your clothes from you. Knowing you were going commando in his clothes was driving him wild, but he held himself together as he watched you. Your eyes focused on his television as your toes dried, slowly finishing your dinner. He had done absolutely everything he could to you, but after the bubble bath incident, he was hesitant to mess with your skin. He didn't want to irritate it anymore than it had been already.

      He watched you shift, . "What's wrong, hun?"

     "I just...it's nothing. I think the sweater is over kill now." You fanned yourself.

     "I'll be right back, I have just the top for you." He smiled as he went to his closet.

      It had been exactly what you expected. An incredibly small razor back style tank top, crossed with a crop top. It would look absolutely hideous on you, but with how sweaty you were starting to get, you'd deal.

      Giving a smile and a thanks, you went to his bathroom to change tops. Maybe you should run to your room and get a bra...this was definitely a top that needed a bra. At least the sweater had been thick...

      Splashing some cold water on your cheeks and neck seemed to help too. After cooling yourself, you went back to Asmodeus's bed.

      "I knew that top would look good on you." He smiled and gave you a wink as you crawled back onto his bed. Watching your breast shift as you maneuvered yourself, fabric sliding over your nipples, he drew his eyes back to your face to flash a smile. You were none the wiser.

     "What's the heat set at in your room? It's still like a sauna in here."

     He held the back of his hand to your forhead. "You are a bit warm, but try to give yourself some time to adjust. You only just now got out of the sweater.

       You had fallen asleep watching your program with Asmo. The Avatar passed out beside you, his soft breathing the only sound in the room. It still hadn't gotten any cooler. His room heater must be broken. He wouldn't notice the difference, demons ran at warmer temperatures.

     Sliding out of bed, you walked around his room, the air against your sweat soaked skin almost gave you a chill, but you welcomed it.

        Maybe the takeout wasn't sitting well with you. Your stomach had started to cramp and the sweating hadn't stopped.

     Halfway to the restroom, you let out a strangled cry. Slamming your hand over your mouth, you did your best to not wake Asmodeus. The last thing you wanted was for the Alpah to see you throw up.

       The heater was aggravating. Hotter and hotter and hotter. At this rate, you'd need a shower. Moving from beside the toilet, you only made it half way before your legs gave out.

      You must be really sick, the fact your legs had given out... you should call for Asmo. He could help.

     Calling for the Alpha...you wanted to call his name in a different way. From below him as he shoved his cock into your cunt over and over, finding release in you.

      You let out a shocked gasp. Your shorts were now soaked. You didn't pee. You know you didn't. Yet the warm wetness existed. Moving to crawl for the door, you fell to the floor when you slammed both hands over your mouth.

      Your top and shorts had moved just right. So sinfully slow dragging over your hot skin and illicting such a debauched moan.

      You began to panic. Something was really wrong! Maybe something you had ate had a weird effect on humans? That couldn't be though, you'd ate this before and been just fine!

       Warm hands on the side of your face made you moan as they directed your gaze.

        Asmodeus.

        Feeling his body heat against your skin, the smell of him...it was almost too much to take as your stomach cramped again, yet your body needed to be close to the Avatar. "Asmo?" Your voice didn't even sound like yours. Warm, seductive, holding a tone of begging where you hadn't put any.

      His nose at the nape of your neck only served to make you whine and lean into his touch. Fingernails scratching at his silk robe, desperate to touch more of the Alpha as your hips twitched. A whine leaving your lips as you looked up to him again. "What's wrong with me?"

     A deep breath left the Avatar and the heat from his lips made you shudder as you looked up to him. His thumbs wiped your tears away as he panted, eyes never leaving you. "You're in heat, Mc." His voice was deep, strained.

      "Beta. I'm a Beta." You whined as his fingers slowly traced down your throat, stopping just short of your cleavage, eyes never leaving your nipples poking through your thin tank top.

     "False status. It isn't uncommon." He continued to pant, finger ghosting over your breast as he watched you try to lean into his touch. "I spurred you to heat. Some Omegas just need to be...touched by Alphas." He whispered as he pulled his hand back. "It's the bodies response and it finally pushed you over the edge. When I ran my hands over your body today, along with the cold water shock to your system...it must have stressed your body to finally have your first heat." His voice was shaking. Your smell, helpless look as you shook on his floor... he stood and moved to his door. "I can call Solomon. He can help get y-"

     "No!" You whined, reaching out for him. "Please..." your body shook and the feeling in your lower stomach was growing. "Please don't leave."

      It was almost more than he could take. Your shorts soaked with slick as you were so needy. "Mc, if I don't, I could hurt you." He licked his lips as his hand cupped his balls, cock already twitching in need to be buried deep in your wet pussy.

     "Use me. Please. Asmo, your the Avatar of Lust." You squeezed your thighs as you tried to stand, only to fall to his floor again. A whine leaving you as you looked to him another cramp taking your form making you groan and more tears slip from your eyes.

      "Fuck." He groaned, closing the distance to pull you up from the floor. Your desperate pleas and touches were taking over his senses and before he could talk himself out of it, he had hauled you to his bed, roughly throwing you into his sheets and pressing his body to yours. "Last chance to say no." He ground his erection into your clothed cunt, a growl leaving him.

     "Fuck me. Use my Omega pussy to cum." You bucked against him with excitement in your eyes. "Fuck me as hard as you can. Please make this stop." You whined as you moved your shorts to the side.

     Asmos tounge was exploring your folds before you could ready yourself. Pulling his hair to hold him closer you fought with yourself to keep your thighs open and to stop fucking his face.

      The Avatars arms wrapped around your thighs and pulled you further down to him as he held your hips down. Tounge lapping at your clit as he let out a satisfied hum.

      Usually he could pleasure a partner for hours, but your moans and the pleading tone of your voice made him feel a need to claim you that he hadn't felt in ages. The need to fill you overwhelming him as he pulled his robe open.

       You held your knees up to your chest, exposing yourself to him as he held your shorts to the side. His cock rubbing at your pussy making you rock against him as he slowly slid into your cunt. A deep moan leaving him as he watched you gasp in ecstasy.

      The sounds of flesh slapping filled the room as his free hand pulled your tank top up, breast bouncing as he fucked into you. His fingers finally being allowed to message your tits as he had wanted to all night.

      The sounds you made were like a melody. "Do you want me to cum inside of you?" He panted as he pulled your shorts apart at the seams and threw them to the floor.

     "Yes! Fuck Asmo, use me until you cum." Your begging voice driving him to speed up his pace and chase his high. Being so selfish during sex, he hadn't done this in years. Chasing his own high and neglecting his partner, he'd have to make it up to you later.

       Pulling out of you, he watched as more tears fell from your eyes in protest. "Shhh, I'll use you. Your being so good for me, Mc. Begging and pleading for your Alpha." He removed your hands from your knees and rolled you over, only to pull you up by the shoulders and sheath his cock in your pussy from behind. Licking and kissing your neck as he pleased, one hand held your waist as the other squeezed your breast roughly before playing with your nipple.

       His pace increased as he continued to claim you. Using you as he pleased until he came with a loud cry,  stroking your walls as deep as he could while he continued to unload his full balls completely inside of you.

      The sounds you made while he came inside of you had served to give him the best orgasm of his life. Your pretty voice begging for him, pleading for his seed to make the pain stop.

     He guided you forward as his cock slipped from you, a mess of slick and his cum dripping from your tight pussy as he made sure your shaking body was okay. You'd have some bruises from his selfish treatment, but you were sure to have more by the end of the week.

       Every time you woke, it was a fight to keep you hydrated and get some sort of food into you before slipping his cock back into your warm desperate pussy. On the third day, you seemed to have more of your bearings, but the desperation to have him inside of you still hadn't passed.

      On day seven, he had been gentle with you. Going slow and worshipping you like he should have from the start. Apologizing for not being able to stop himself the first two days from roughly fucking you whenever you woke.

      He had helped lots of Omegas through heat. It had been fun, but this...with you it had been a rollercoaster. One moment he was lost in his sin, nothing but the desire to cum fogging his brain, the next, he had been a worried mess about if you had gotten enough water. For seven days he hadn't even cared about his beauty sleep or beauty routine. It had all fallen to the wayside in favor of you. That's when he knew.

     It was you.

     You, who he'd chose to devote his life too in more than just a pact capacity. You, that he wanted to wake up next to everyday.

      The soft smile on his face as he played with your hair had only grown as he placed the pieces together.

     He'd have a lot to talk about with you when you woke.

[asknarashikari]

One thing that's always bothered me about episode 46 is that...yeah, I know Sara getting brought back is supposed to be the most impactful for the characters (Keiwa anyways) but... what about the OTHER victims stuck on that tree? Did the other riders just go "Oh yeah, these unfortunate victims don't deserve to be saved and can rot in hell for all we care" or something?! Were THEY were saved at all?

Speaking of which, I'm also not really a fan of how in Kamen Rider Geats, no one could really give a shit about bringing back the victims that lost their lives in the DGP. (It's not like these people died in some random accident or a serial murder...no, these were people that forcibly lost their lives in some fucked up competition started for entertainment by some outside source) Were they REALLY beyond saving even WITHOUT the wish granting at the cost of other's happening? Did no one really bother try to find a way to make it happen? It didn't that early in the show, it set expectations with Keiwa making that goal to bring back lives lost in the DGP only to stop caring about doing that...besides, I don't think that WASN'T even Keiwa's fault that deceased horrible riders were brought back WITH ACTUAL DRIVERS AND DGP MEMORIES they shouldn't have access to. (Sara didn't get the same treatment and Toru never returned oddly enough, like wtf?)

Long rant ahead. Not for the Geats fans lol

Well, in a show that literally just shrugged off one of the main characters being complicit in the murder of hundreds (including the main & secondary riders) in a sadistic game, what else would you expect? Of course the NPCs are barely spared a second thought by anyone, not even the writer it seems.

We're even shown Keiwa being reported missing by Sara, which should imply that everyone else who was also killed in the Heaven and Hell round were also MIA (read: dead), and yet we don't even see similar reports for other people. Hundreds of people don't just go missing without mass hysteria and people demanding answers from the police and government, even with a fucking conspiracy to cover it all up involved. But nope, nothing for the plebians 🤷‍♀️

For your second question... I'm sure they can BS some reason for why they can't revive all the victims. Heck, even Riders get shafted. All the other Riders who were killed onscreen (Taira/Ginpen, Tooru/Togetchi, Yukie/Letter and Takeshi/Shirowe) stayed dead, along with countless others who died offscreen. Fuck them all and anyone who would be looking for them, I guess?

Tsumuri revived Ace just by wishing and subconsciously using her goddess powers, Keiwa was revived by Kekera using Mitsume's power probably, and Sara was revived through wish shenanigans and/or Daichi's Jyamato Potion... But they're the exceptions to the rule somehow. What made them the exception? Plot armor, is that all?

I'm unconvinced that the Riders who caused chaos in the wake of Keiwa's wish were even ones who died in the DGP to begin with. We're told they were revived Riders.. by Jiit, aka the last person who I would expect to tell the truth about anything.

As it was, we know someone had to supply those Riders with Drivers and ID Cores because no one else who revived got their Drivers and ID Cores back automatically except for Ace (who's practically the exception for every goddamned rule this show attempts to set).

But of course, it's way easier to blame Keiwa for "reviving" those nasty people, than it is to think of a scenario where Jiit and his cohorts never bothered reviving anyone other than Sara and Keiwa's parents to lull him into thinking his wish worked, and just gave Drivers to all the worst (but living) people they could find.

[idontreallyknow26]

This isn't even considering that they were somewhat friends before this. He genuinely liked and respected her, SA is something that is "expected" to come from an outsider but more often than not its someone in the inner circle who abuses their power. Add to it that it's something perceived as only happening to women, Cristons head must be messed up from all that.

There's a youtuber who did a video about how SA is portrayed on screen with men, it's often for laughs and sadly this is true.(think it was pop culture detective).

When Criston has a justified hatred for his abuser, people turn against him, while the word c*nt is a very gendered word and it's terribly offensive, this is how he feels. She took advantage of him.

I love you so much‼️

WARNING: Team Black stans will not like anything below the read more line, so do NOT press it.

I'm so glad you brought that up because I completely forgot about it- THEY WERE FRIENDS.

The mutual trust and (platonic) loved shared between the two of them was so strong that he felt he could make a joke about killing a highborn lord for her, he felt he could say things around her that had he said then to anyone else it would've been considered treason. He so genuinley respected her, and felt as though she respected him.

So not only was this his superior abusing her power to gain sex from him simply because Daemon wouldn't, (she didn't even see him as good enough to fuck on his own- he was a second choice, something that could be used an discarded for her pleasure because she didn't value him.) But his friend, which he didn't have many of because AGAIN, he is not highborn. He's the son of a steward, a dornish man in the six Kingdoms trying to make a name for himself, to earn himself some honor.

That honor is all but thrown down the drain when she rapes him. All he worked for could be simply tossed away along with his life if he didn't continue pleasing her, because she isn't some random girl that nobody cares about- at that point she was the heir to the throne. One of the most powerful people in Westeros. If they fucked more than once like it's implied, than she was sexually abusing him. Anybody would go fucking crazy trying to handle that.

I think the use of the word cunt is completely justified. Maybe that's because I'm from the Midwestern US we cuss in every other sentence, but it's not like what he was saying was anything but the truth.

All in all people who blame Criston don't understand his character at all, and really shouldn't be talking about the series.