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space-mermaid-writing · 3 years

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House Arrest [Loki X Reader] Chapter 1

Summary: You are Clint’s 'little' sister and actually a trained Shield agent. But you gave that up a few years ago and became a Chef, because you wanted a normal live. Then one day Natasha shows up at your door and takes you to the Avenger Tower for a while for security reasons.

Tags: Reader is an former Shield Agent, chef!reader, Reader Barton, 2012 Avenger vibes, everything is still alright, Slice of Life, Avengers Family, Loki has a good heart, still the god of mischief, Slow Burn, mention of food and cooking

Read it on AO3

Chapter 1: New Home

It's just before midnight when you finally get off work. You really like your job, but the hours are murder. Being a chef at one of the most expensive five-star restaurants in Philadelphia has its price. You take off your apron, which has hardly any stains from the last few hours on it, and throw it in the wash. The white jacket goes neatly into your locker and is replaced by a cardigan and a scarf. It’s a cool night. With a last good bye to your colleagues, who are still putting the dishes into the dishwashers, you make your way home.

The night is dark, but the streets are lit by lanterns and the windows of closed stores. Even if it had been pitch black, it wouldn't have worried you to have to walk alone through the empty alleys. Last year a guy had tried to rob you and threatened you with a knife. You had given him a broken nose and several stab wounds in the shoulder. After all, you had been trained at Shield. But the poor guy didn’t know that.

Half an hour later you arrive at your apartment. It's more functional than nicely furnished, and everything is a bit of a pick 'n' mix. But you don't mind it, because you spend most of your time at work anyway. At home you don't feel such great importance to culinary variety when it comes to your own food. A pizza or French fries with ketchup were always welcome. After all, you've been standing at the stove long enough at work. Tired, you decide to wait until breakfast for your next meal and, after a quick change of clothes, just fall into bed.

Fortunately, the next day is your day off. You make good use of it and sleep in. Afterwards you have an nice brunch with eggs, bacon and toast and after a short shower you go into town to do some errands. The sun is shining warmly from the sky and it's a beautiful spring day. If this holds up until the weekend, maybe you'd visit the weekly market and see what exotic and rare foods you can grab there. You love these little trips, even if you rarely find the time.

About two hours later and with three full shopping bags, you re-enter your apartment. It's on the second floor of a rather nondescript building, but the interior is very modern, with pastel-colored, high walls. You put everything in the kitchen cabinets and then brew yourself a tea/coffee, with which you make yourself comfortable on the couch and turn on the TV. It's time to relax a little. So you zap through the programs, watch the rest of an episode of your favorite series and then decide to watch a reality series, which is not exactly known for its quality but is entertaining. So the noon goes by until suddenly the doorbell rings. You get up to see if it's the mailman or a neighbor with a package. But a look through the peephole shows you that it is neither. Surprised, you open the door "Nat!" Natasha Romanoff is a friend of you and your brother, as well as the godmother of his children. But due to her job you rarely see each other. "Hey," she greets you with a small smile. "Can I come in?" "Sure." You lead her into the living room, where you turn off the TV. "What can I get you? Tea, coffee, milkshake?" "Coffee is fine." You disappear into the kitchen for a moment as she sits down in the armchair. Natasha was a rare visitor. Mostly she came with some news from Clint. You see him even less because he spends what little free time he has mostly with his wife and the two kids. Understandable. You don't hold it against him and try to visit them on holidays or for birthdays at her farm.

It doesn't take long until you return to the Russian woman with a new cup and some pastries and sit down on the couch again. "Well," you ask her curiously. "What do I owe the pleasure?" Natasha reaches for her cup. "It’s rather inconvenience. But first tell me if you’ve observed anything unusual lately." Questioningly, you look at her. "What do you mean?" "Nothing weird? You sure?", she asks. "Tell me what I'm supposed to have seen, please," you prompt her, both impatient and confused. Natasha gets right to the point. "You're being monitored." "By Shield?" "By Hydra." Stunned by this news, you remain silent. Natasha uses this pause to drink her coffee. "Oh, this is really good." But you don't listen to her at all, because various thoughts are circling in your head. And again you try to remember if you have noticed anything: same people you met, vehicles, anything. But you got pretty used to your life and didn't pay attention at these things. "Anyway, I'm here to pick you up. For your own safety it’s best if you stay with us for a while," Natasha finally breaks the silence and you look up. "What could Hydra possibly want from me? I don't know any internal secrets anymore. There are better to kidnap than me." "That's what we're trying to figure out right now." "Well, the danger doesn't seem to be acute", you note. "If they wanted to grab me, I wouldn't be sitting here by now. Thanks, but I decline and prefer to stay here. I have my job and the apartment." And now that you know what's going on, you can pay attention and take the necessary precautions, too. "Thanks for warning me." Natasha, on the other hand, doesn't look like she gives you a choice. "You know Shield has its ways to convince you?", she reminds you, but you shrug. Why would such a large organization bother with a single civilian like you? "What does my dear brother say about this matter?", you ask instead. "He hasn't been informed yet." Ergo, they deliberately leave him out of it so that he can't protest. You know this kind of approach of Shield.

Clint understands and supports you in your civilian life, even though he protested the loudest back when you announced your exit. "How’s he?", you want to know from Natasha, who is now finishing her coffee. "He's alive." That can mean just about anything from being happy and healthy to badly hurt but breathing. Better than being dead, you guess. "He's out in Africa with Steve right now." "Busy, huh?" "As usual." She stands up as a sign that she has nothing more to say for the day, and you walk her to the door, where you bid her farewell. "We'll talk again soon," she promises, but admittedly you have little desire to do so right now. "Sure," you reply and close the door behind her.

Well, that were some news. You put her empty cup in the sink and pause thoughtfully by the window. How could you have missed Hydra's agent, you ask yourself while glancing out. Your new life made you too comfortable. But it also takes up a lot of time and energy. And anyway, you dropped out because you didn't want to be cautiousness all the time anymore. You wanted a normal life with a normal job and normal problems. Away from agents, assassinations and super powers. You didn't want to check every day on your way to work if you were being followed, secretly monitored or if someone else was out to get you. That's why you’ve chosen this life. With a sigh, you sit back down on the couch. The past never leaves you alone, you guess. But tomorrow would be a long day even without these new old worries.

The advantage of being a chef is usually that you don't have to get up at the crack of dawn for work. Most Restaurants open at noon, some even in the evening. So does the one where you work. There are preparations to be made before opening time, but you can still sleep through the morning, do some housework, and then head to the restaurant in the sunny afternoon. That's where the trouble starts, though. Just as you're about to open your locker to change your clothes, someone taps you on the shoulder. It's your boss, who hands you a letter. You can tell immediately from his serious expression that something is wrong. And when you open the envelope, you discover your resignation. You look up, perplexed, but you lose out in the following discussion. You don't even get a decent explanation, and that’s what annoys you the most. You're pretty sure your skills aren’t the issue, neither is the way you work. Nor the way you treat your colleagues, with whom you get along very well, even if the tone among cooks is a bit rough. You go back to your apartment, now in a bad mood. It‘s unbelievable! The sunny weather seems like a mockery to you now, and the people you meet along the way are in far too good a mood, in your opinion. It will be hell to find another good job as this was.

Arriving back home you immediately get more bad news: your landlord put a notice on your apartment door. The bathrooms in the building will get completely renovated soon and will be unusable for several weeks. Plus the heavy construction noise during the day. And the water would be turned off. It would be best to find temporary substitute apartment, so they recommend. "Haha...ha..." You laugh dryly and unlock the door. Was that a coincidence? When Natasha had been here yesterday? Probably not. You know Shield's methods and that it’s easy for them to take away your job and your apartment just to get their way. You have two options: either you accept the offer before Shield gets any more stupid ideas, or you run away and try to hide. With a sigh you go into your bedroom and throw a suitcase on the bed, in which you pack clothes, the most important documents and some things from the kitchen you need for work. Not everything fits, so you add a second travel bag. Meanwhile, you think about who you could complain to. Your brother was a favorite target of yours, but he a) had nothing to do with this matter and b) was not in the country. Which’s a shame, because you'd really like to have him by your side right now. If you wanted to complain to Shield directly, Fury would probably be the best person to do it. But you hold too much respect for him to vent your anger to him. Maybe just the next Shield agent who would come to you on this matter would have to step in. You know someone would definitely get back to you. With one last look around your apartment, you leave it and lock the door. Then you shoulder your bag and make your way out.

Just as you're thinking about getting a large coffee from Starbucks down the street, a red sports car pulls up to the side of the road. Natasha at the wheel. "Hmph..." You walk over to her and throw your luggage in the back seat. Then you take a seat in the passenger seat yourself. "Just for the record, I'm not happy with this." "I can see that." She tries to give a sympathetic smile, but you know this is just a job to her. "Well then, off to the Bat Cave, Wayne." "Does that make you Robin?", the Russian asks, driving off. "I guess", you reply snippy, not interested in keeping the conversation going. Fortunately, Natasha wasn't exactly the talkative sort either, so you have some peace and quiet to get your thoughts in order.

It takes you just under two hours to drive from Philadelphia to New York with city traffic slowing you down a bit. Otherwise, you would have arrived earlier at the former Stark Tower. It's been the Avenger Tower for some time now, but that doesn't make much difference, except that Tony Stark seems to be too lazy to put the remaining letters back on it.

Natasha parks in the private underground garage and you take the elevator up to the grand lobby. She tells you about the current residents here. There’s the usual staff, who are of course always present. Of all the Avengers, Bruce Banner is living here permanently. "He actually hardly ever leaves the lab," the Russian explains. "I'm currently living here, too. Every now and then Thor stops by, but mostly he prefers to explore the world. And his brother Loki is here. There have been some...problems with him and he's sort of under supervision here. Tony trusts technology more than Asgard. The owner of the house, by the way, is out visiting an outpost right now." "There are even Avengers outposts?" Natasha nods as she walks you down the halls to the living area. "But don't tell Hydra." "Sure", you promise unfazed. "Speaking of which, if I want to go out to visit someone, do I need a key or how does this work?" "It's better if you stay here in the house for now. It's for your safety, after all." "For how long?", you want to know. The answer is short. "As long as necessary." "So I'm sort of locked in here”, you state. That's typical Shield. As soon as there's any problem, an agent is sent in to put everything in solitary arrest or quarantine. As long as it’s shielded from the rest of the world. Natasha stops in front of a door that is now yours, but doesn't look directly at you, which as much of an answer as you get. "I'll be fine on my own now, thanks," you smile politely but not genuinely at her, and after she assures you that you're free to move around inside the building, you head off with your luggage in your new apartment.

#Loki #Loki x Reader #House Arrest #Chapter 1 #my writing #Clint #clint barton #hawkeye #loki laufeyson #imagine #chef reader #mcu #marvel

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zahri-melitor · 3 years

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The Dragon Reborn

Book Three and I have to say yes, I’m even more on board. Also starting to get some of the memes.

I see we have entered the Angry At The World Teen Rand stage. It’s always more difficult when your teen has superpowers and devoted followers.

Moiraine, you need another Aes Sedai around more often so you stop falling over after big fights and healing. Why do I feel Lan’s spent a lot of time standing by your shoulder ready to catch you when you topple over from exhaustion. Again.

…Did Siuan invent a “sense fish” or “call fish” weave or something? Moiraine! (Ok this is as funny as advertised).

Moiraine, manipulating the children to get out of doing chores isn’t very nice.

Ah yes, Perrin definitely needed some more fears about what talking to wolves might do to him, what luck for him.

Verin is definitely being reminded why Novices aren’t generally allowed out of the Tower. Poor Verin.

Are we finally, FINALLY going to sort out Mat’s little dagger addiction? Wow this has been an extended period of “where’s the dagger”, the show clearing it up in 3 episodes is hilariously easier.

I see we are truly in dire straits if Siuan has to set Nynaeve and Egwene up as investigators.

Galad is VERY used to being attractive, isn’t he?

Verin’s perfect Wizard Bookshop of an office! With owl!

Ahhh!!!! Rand had EGWENE’S Acceptance vision? Are they going to do this again in the show and cause everyone extreme emotional pain? (Did they already film it a second time) Oh gosh now I am having FEELINGS about them both having this as their “the past is lost”/alternate Two Rivers vision. No wonder everyone’s hung up on “what about what SHE wants” from Rand.

Oh yay Mat FINALLY gets some plot. Clearly you’re doing well from that Healing, Mat, if you can’t remember which language you’re speaking in, mate.

Mat: beats up and embarrasses Elayne’s brothers. Me: this will surely not cause any issues in the future. Foolproof.

I’m staring at Mat going “so has your ta’verenness been concealed by your lack of POV up to this point or has Rand’s own nature been blotting it out?” Because his theory on his luck does not match the book evidence of when it kicked in.

Thom spends an awful lot of time saying he’s definitely not getting dragged into these world altering shenanigans while consistently turning up right where needed to get into some more shenanigans. And now has Mat on board doing the exact same thing. Folks. FOLKS.

Perrin, you’re such a sweet softie. Oops gotta go rescue that Aiel (he looks like my mate). Oh no the Aiel and Perrin took out a dozen Whitecloaks together. Sweet, sweet softie with an axe.

I have met the Daughters of the Spear and I am in love. And Egwene keeps trying to relate to them and tripping over cultural differences while Elayne knows JUST enough to keep wincing!

“Rand looks like an Aiel, but also looks like Tigraine” - I am now getting very confused about Rand’s conception from the facts I have on hand. Does missing Luc have something to do with it??? Was Tigraine secretly an Aiel too? WHAT IS THIS?

Giving Mat fireworks seems a Very Very Bad Idea. Update: Mat + fireworks is indeed a Very Bad Idea and scares everyone around him.

Ok, Perrin and Faile is the first of the young ones’ relationships in this series that I hear is endgame that actually seems to have a normal amount of development? Look at them actually spending time in each other’s company! Talking to each other! Learning things about each other! Saving each other! I hope it’s coming for the others but this is actually quite sweet?

Perrin getting to spend some time with the blacksmith and getting that hammer: I can see the conflict being set up here.

And then everyone’s plotlines all converge on top of each other again!

Mat and the girls all yelling at each other over why are you here and who was coming to save whom is pretty funny, not going to lie.

Seriously, the call to adventure in this series. Rand, Mat, Perrin: what call, how fast can we run away from this, damn why is it following us? Egwene, Elayne, Faile, etc: *sprinting towards the call as Nynaeve follows them grumbling that she’s not running, she just can’t trust anyone else with it*

Ahahahahaha Balefire. Moiraine: this is a mysterious lost phenomenon nobody has used in two thousand years Also Moiraine: oops there goes a Forsaken before he gets a chance to stop monologueing.

I’m still extremely concerned about what the White Tower considers an adequate Aes Sedai education, but I’m rapidly getting the impression that Egwene, Elayne and Nynaeve are getting the Luke Skywalker “we’ll just teach you how systems work and not put any restraints on what is and isn’t possible, so you start doing the impossible” education, rather than a properly structured one. I mean, the world is ending, the speedier method is probably necessary, but they’re losing valuable foundational knowledge surely.

#let's read wheel of time #wheel of time #wot book spoilers

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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🙂 - ɟ

Hiii babies and dear Anons 👋🏼🤗 Here’s another post with the answers to the asks Mari sent me. Enjoy 🙃

Hi @sawwyouuinadream 👋🏼😄 I’ve already talked about how C exaggerated for the sake of the songs in my ‘💭- ɟ’ post (8th question) [click on the #f anon of this post to see all my others]. As for the rest, you need to understand the difference between our normal life and theirs, especially when they were in the group. You can’t compare your life and what you would do with your girlfriend in their place simply because they’re completely different things. Any parent of famous artists who gets the chance to spend time with their child when they can, seizes the opportunity. I saw it with 5H, I saw it and keep seeing it with Ari, I saw it in Taylor’s documentary, and many others. But not all artists have this luck.

5H were far from home, always around the world, without parents most of the time, and with fans who recognized them. Unlike the other parents who didn’t always have the opportunity to be with them because of work, the most present were Sinu, papa H (Jerry, Ally’s dad), and mama Dre (Andrea, Normani’s mom; as much as Sinu and continued as Sinu even after the hiatus). The only difference is that Camila suffers from depression and variants of OCD (diagnosed in 2015) and for these reasons, Sinu has always tried to be as present as possible. She only became a regular presence after C’s explosion in early September 2016. And, honestly? I don’t know where Camila would be without her mom. I don’t think she could have gotten through most of the things. I don’t think she would be in the industry anymore.

Now, I’d like to remind you of something else: we only see 5/10% of their lives. And that 5/10%, is ONLY what they want to show. You said that Sinu always accompanied C on dates? That’s not true. We saw Sinu with them a couple of times when they went shopping, once for dinner at Katsuya’s, and once at the beach in Australia. And these are literally only five times in what, four years that C was in 5H? Do you really think those were their only dates? Or that those can even be called dates and not just spending time with the mother-in-law? Come on. Try to look at it differently. Try to look at it from a broader perspective. Try to look at the big picture.

I send you a hug 🤗

No, dear Anon. Lauren was together with Camila. That whole conversation was based on Camila teasing Lauren. That episode was another confirmation for me regarding their first kiss. Lauren answering “Kind of” because Camila literally nearly passed out from nervousness is one of the things that amuses me the most.

Oh and, dear Anon? Bread Simplified, aka I don’t know what lips are, was just another one of her PRs. I don’t know how this is still something to doubt about. 75/80% of all Hollywood couples are fake, and as I said earlier, we only see 5/10% of what they want to show us about their lives. I’ve said this before and will write it again: “Any PR relationship involving Camren is simply this: fake, and for publicity and narrative purposes”. Real relationships, dear Anon, are not public ones. They’re the ones we don’t see.

I’m still a little bit confused about your ask actually if I have to be honest, dear Anon. I’ll answer based on what I understood.

None of the five of them are with Syco Music anymore because it has integrated with Sony Music Entertainment and therefore doesn’t exist anymore.

Only Camila and Lauren are with Syco Entertainment simply because only the two of them were asked to sign. Simon never cared about the group per se. He wanted Lauren and Camila from the start and he got them. He created an opportunity to prepare them for that world and for their eventual solo careers. How? By creating 5H. By creating three products (C, L, and 5H) at once that would make him money.

Because, dear Anon, as twisted as it sounds, it’s part of their publicity. I’ll explain myself better. Camren sells. From the beginning. A large part of the 5H fans became their fans BECAUSE of Camren. The labels still use them when needed. For labels, it’s okay to get people talking. It’s okay to get them to speculate, take their name out there, create buzz, create gossip, everything’s okay, EXCEPT confirming it. The important thing is the publicity. The important thing is to sell what they want to sell, and many times, they use Camren to do it. And it works. It works EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. Plus, I think both C&L also had fun doing it to “keep the boat afloat”. More in the past than now tho.

I know about the rest of the pictures because it was said a while back by a guy who said he was yet another ‘insider’, dear Anon. This guy even published an email that was supposed to be from 2017 from TMZ to Roger in which they were supposed to have a meeting to discuss the extension of the agreement made not to publish the dossier. It’s actually old news, and it indeed seems strange to me that you’re only finding out now 🙃 Has anyone ever talked about it here on Tumblr?

But anyway. That he was an insider, I have my serious doubts. That the email picture was specially created, perhaps by him himself, I’m sure of it because it looks more fake than a plastic flower. That TMZ actually has a dossier on them, is very likely because this is another one of the many ways paparazzi agencies make money.

Dear Anon, I guess this ask of yours is due to your reading of my last post. If you’ve read it, then you have also read the sentence that I will now copy: “Everyone’s ready to point the finger when they don’t even know what is really going on behind the scenes”. You’re doing the same thing. You’re doing the same thing because all I see here is Roger did this and Roger did that, but you don’t know that. You don’t know why he did certain things. You don’t know why he didn’t do certain things. You don’t know why he handled some things in one way and some things in another. You know nothing, yet you’re pointing the finger.

I understand that you’re speaking based on what you see, believe me, I understand, but you’re judging without knowing. We know this PR is for Skittles, so what do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to promote him more? What do you know if the deals made were exactly for Roger to do or not do certain things? And more importantly, what do you know that Roger no longer has Camila’s best interests at heart? Just because of this show? Come on!

I’ll try to be clearer this time because I’ve noticed that many, like you, didn’t get the big picture of my last post. The labels decide everything. Camila can choose certain things, propose ideas, and be more liberally creative, but she doesn’t have the last word. If Camila comes up with the idea for a video she wants to make, but the labels don’t like it, then she can’t make that video. If Camila wants to perform a song in a certain way, but the labels don’t approve of a thing, then Camila has to change that thing in order to perform it. If the labels say no, then it’s no. Periodt.

Camila accepted the PR. COVID has changed things. She couldn’t expect such a thing. Hell, none of us could have expected a worldwide pandemic. But things turned out this way, and now she’s miserable. The choice she had initially made has backfired on her, and there’s nothing she can do to change that because it’s a legally binding contract. Neither she nor Roger, whom I remind you is also an attorney, can do anything about it.

I made this little scene for you. I hope that with this, you’ll see things a little more clearly.

*During the meeting*

“And that’s the idea” Roger says as Simon continues to look at the various set designs and documents by nodding

“So.. what do you think?” Camila asks anxiously and with a small hopeful smile

“I think we only need to change a couple of things, but for the rest, everything’s fine” Simon replies

“Really?” Camila asks excitedly

“Yes, really” Simon replies with a chuckle due to her enthusiasm “Good job, Camilla”

“Yay!” Camila cheers towards Roger. She’s too happy to care about the cringe due to the mispronunciation of her name. She’s used to hearing him call her that for years now.

“What are the changes you were referring to?” Roger asks him

“Oh, you know, this and this” Simon replies, turning the set designs towards them “It’s a little too…” “Gay?” Camila asks with a laugh, finishing his sentence

“We knew, but she wanted to try anyway” Roger says, indicating Camila with his palm “So, by changing those two things, we’re ready to go? We’re gonna shoot the video in a week”

“Yes, I approve. Everything’s all right” Simon says, handing the set designs back

“Thanks, Simon” Camila says, getting up together with Roger ready to leave the room

“Oh and, Camilla? Remember what we talked about” Simon tells her as soon as she gets to the door

“But-” “Remember what we agreed on” Simon says, interrupting her

With a sigh, Camila nods and turns to look at Roger who smiles at her sympathetically. With another sigh, this time of acceptance and determination, Camila positions herself behind Roger, who’s bending his knees to get down and is bringing his torso forward.

“Um.. what exactly are you two doing?” Simon asks, confused and curious at the same time

“When you tell me to jump, I ask you ‘how high?’, right?” Camila answers him as she climbs on Roger’s back

Simon nods with an even more puzzled expression.

“I’m helping her jump from higher” Roger explains to him

*the end*

This is just a silly example, but I hope it helped you understand the dynamics better. I also copied and pasted another piece of my previous post as a reminder: “If Roger does certain things that you may not like at first glance, before accusing him, please wait. Wait till you see why he’s doing what he’s doing, and then if you really don’t like it, then point the finger. But if you have to do it for no good reason, then don’t. You’d only going to look worse after. Same thing for Camila. They have a reason for doing what they do, so just wait before speaking and judging.”

Have a great day too, dear 😊

I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis, dear Anon, but you asked for it, so here it is.

I’d like to start by saying that Thinkin’ Bout One is a half-demo. It’s not a completed song and it’s from ‘The Hurting. The Healing. The Loving.’ era, so even before the album title changed to ‘Camila’. I’m talking about the very beginning. When Havana wasn’t even remotely ready to be complete, or recorded if that’s why. When I Have Questions had just been recorded or was about to be recorded. I’m talking about the end of 2016.

The demo is pretty messed up because there is no intro, verses, pre-chorus, chorus, etc., like in a normal song. The quality and the way the demo is structured reminds me a lot of the GarageBand Camila times. To be honest, I think that’s how it was recorded. I think Camila created the demo on her own and then she abandoned it once she started recording other songs that would adapt and fit in the true direction of the album.

The reason I said I don’t think you’re gonna like my analysis is because this song, it’s not about Lauren. I have reason to think this song is for someone else, but without dwelling on that, I’ll explain why in my opinion it’s not about Lauren through my interpretation.

“Where you at

Come baby show me where you at

Finally got time off work

Tryina disappear off the map with ya

What’s love gotta do with it

This my vacation time

Bathin suits and tan line

Thirst trap for your timeline”

Camila is asking this somebody where they are. Camila was still working with Lauren in 2016. She knew where Lauren was because she was with her, this somebody wasn’t. She’s asking them to meet and spend those days she had free together. She’s asking them to go together to a place where they could be off the radar. A place with a warm climate. And she’s not asking them to see it as a romantic getaway, but just as a vacation. Love was the last of her thoughts given what she was going through with Lauren that year.

“Num num num num num

Pass the henny not the rum

I go num num num num num

If I decide to give you sum

Talkin talkin talkin

All this time that we been rockin

Hey”

“Sip a lil this

Sip a little that

Now this ain’t nothin but a fact

I need you come and take control”

This vacation that Camila proposes also included alcohol and other activities, if you know what I mean. I’ll explain the slang she uses here to indicate those two very things.

In case you didn’t know, num is the slang for making out. Henny is the slang for Hennessy, which is a brand of cognac. It’s used a lot together with coke for a simple two-ingredient cocktail, and indeed, Camila specifies that she prefers henny over rum (rum and coke) in her simple two-ingredient cocktail. Sum is the slang for some. Now that you know, I believe you can put the pieces together and better understand the puns she used here.

And that’s all. There’s nothing about Lauren for me. There’s nothing deep about it. Just another distraction. And for me, for my timeline, this event happened during the 7/27 tour break. The break that lasted from July 6 to 26 before starting the North American part.

Hello to you too dear Anon 😄 No, I personally don’t think those scenes represent her experiences exactly as they happened. I think she and Dave (Meyers) represented her experience in a cinematic and straight way, but with symbols that represented Lauren.

For example, the fact that Dylan plays the piano is to represent an artist, aka music, aka Lauren. The flower on the back of his shirt in the kiss scene: Lauren. The book’s scene you mentioned? The scene is represented in winter with snow, yet in her memory, they’re both represented dressed in a light way, aka ‘In Miami, where winters are hot’ (Sangria Wine’s verse 2) [or even in L.A. since the winter climate is much more similar to the spring one]. They both like to read, so the book was a perfect clue. Alcohol and fights were represented in a much stronger way than I think they happened in reality because we all know that Lauren is not a violent person. The moon? There’s not even the need to explain it. Oh and, the fact that she’s holding hands with herself at the end of the video is also a representation of what we saw in the Havana music video. The “I do love you. But I love me more” that we saw there. With that scene at the end of the Consequences music video, Camila shows us that she has finally managed to love herself.

So dear Anon, to me, that video is just an artistic representation of how things went. And thanks. I hadn’t watched that video in a long time, but I went to re-watch it for you, so thank you, dear 🥰

🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍🤸🏻‍♀‍

Aaand I’m done 😄 I hope I was helpful in this case too. As always, I’m available for those who have questions, so feel free to ask 😊 Thanks once again to you for asking me and Mari for making this exchange possible 😍

As usual, remember to be kind, to others and to yourself. Be a good example. Be patient. Be safe and take care of yourselves. I send you virtual love and hugs 🤗🤗🤗 I love you, babies. Always with love, F ❤️

___

This was awesome, thanks again F. BTW, the marks on the asks is a small detail I couldn’t erase but you can read them anyway, so sorry bout that.

#submission #f anon #anon #asks #answers #that small story with Simon

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know-the-way · 4 years

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I know it’s really stupid of me but I was kind of hoping for a redemption arc for Faustus. 😅😢

It’s not stupid, not at all! It’s natural to want to see the best in people, particularly when you believe they can be better than what they are now, so it’s completely understandable.

And, ya know, if the show gets picked up - he may have one yet still, we don’t know!

To me, this season really highlighted what the purpose of Faustus’ character is supposed to be, imo. Thinking of episode 4, we’re shown three different levels of corruption through three different characters.

The first is Harvey. Pure, sweet, golden boy Harvey is revealed to have some deep-seeded hatred of witches. Does he have any reason to hate witches? Well, let’s check - he lost a brother, got manipulated, controlled, and lied to by his first love, and has been in an endless cycle of extreme danger for the past year of his life. I think it’s fair to say we all understand that prejudice is not okay, but is it equally understandable why Harvey has some hang-ups about magic and witches? I personally think it is. (Not to the point of joining a literal witch hunt or angrily accusing your distressed best friend of killing your dad at her 17th birthday party 🙃, but understandable nonetheless.)

I personally think the intention with Harvey’s character being a cadet in Blackwood’s army was to demonstrate how, even when we believe someone to be morally good and just, they can become someone else when they endure pain and that pain is never properly addressed.

Did Sabrina apologize to Harvey for everything that happened between them? Yes. But did she repeat the same troublesome behaviors in different ways after that? Also yes. She didn’t demonstrate change in her actions, and a loootttt more happened with Harvey and the witch world in a negative way beyond his relationship with Sabrina, so the mistrust he feels isn’t entirely unjustified.

Then - “oh wow, oh my God, my second love has also hid being a witch from me, can I catch a fucking break here? Why should I ever trust another witch in my life?”

Answer: because they are humans, none being wholly good or bad, and they love you.

Roz talks to Harvey, tells him she believes he’s good, and demonstrably proves her own “goodness” by sacrificing herself to save others at Dr. C’s. Roz shows Harvey that she means what she says and her feelings for him are real - that she is a scared, broken human like him, just trying to do her best with what life has given her. Hence, when the moment of truth comes - Harvey remembers his humanity and proves his own “goodness” by saving her. But if Roz had never spoken to him, never acknowledged what he’d been through and that his feelings were valid... if no one had ever truly cared about his pain? It seems apparent that Harvey would have continued down a very dark path.

Which brings us to...

Mary. Mary has been literally murdered, had her identity hijacked by a demoness, her fiancé is dead, she doesn’t remember several months of her life, and her previous favorite student is a witch who has seemingly performed magic more than once on her.

Mary has every right to fear witches at this point. She has had zero trustworthy interactions with the witch world and from her perspective - her entire life has been stolen and no one cares. No one checks in on Mary, no one validates her pain, and as a result - no one in the witch world seems to have any compassion, humanity, or kindness in them. Enter the Pilgrims of the Night, who recognize her pain and fear without even knowing her, acknowledge it, and offer her solace in their congregation on the basis that her experience with witches is shared by the Reverend Lovecraft and his flock.

They prove themselves to her when the advice the Reverend/Faustus gives her (“let the dark in”) saves her life. My God, someone finally seems to care if she lives or dies!

People who care about others are good, so the church and the reverend’s mission must be good, too. Therefore, she is absolutely invested in whatever is asked of her and will blindly follow their lead in order to protect others from experiencing what she has. To me, Mary in the perverted universe represented the crossroads of corruption - where you truly believe what you’re doing is the right thing, even if it hurts others because those “others” have hurt you... and they will surely hurt again if you don’t stop them.

However, I think if Mary was finally told the truth - the full truth - and Lilith herself apologized for being the first piece in the puzzle... along with all the other witches... AND they showed that they actually cared about her well-being... Mary could find her way back through forgiveness. Or, at the very least, she could understand and process everything so that she could find a way to heal that doesn’t involve persecuting others.

And now, there’s Faustus. We aren’t entirely clear on Faustus’ history altogether, but we do know he’s had many experiences of being slighted by the churches of darkness (despite following the rules to a T).

He was rebuked by Edward for wanting to marry Zelda after mentoring him for who knows how many years, lost the office of high priest to him, and when he finally gets the title - here comes Edward’s self-righteous brat to fuck him over again. There he is trying to carry out the Dark Lord’s request to get Sabrina to sign her name in the Book of the Beast, even though she insults their doctrines and faith at every turn, and the coven and academy he’s had working like a well-oiled machine for the past 16 years is being slowly ripped apart. Why is the Dark Lord allowing this? Why is he having to endure a meddlesome child’s antics? Why is he not being rewarded for doing exactly as he’s been asked and returning the Church of Night to stability after Edward nearly destroyed it altogether? Like hello Dark Lord, can you throw me a fucking bone here?

Small victories - he finally secures Zelda’s hand in marriage and an audience with the anti-pope. This is what his life should’ve looked like two centuries ago, but no matter. He’s correcting it all now and by Satan, nothing is going to stop him this time.

But then...

Oh cool, Sabrina is here to intervene again and has presented the text of his old rival for consideration along with his (clearly superior) manifesto. What’s that, you say? Oh, she’s also gonna crash my wedding, accuse me of murder, and spread claims about my manifesto without having even read it? Wow, ahaha, sounds hilarious... except why am I not laughing?

He arrives in Rome and gets an inkling that the Dark Lord may finally be taking action about this heretical little monster because he’s offered the title of anti-pope by the unholy high council themselves. Finally, some appreciation! He just needs to hang on a little longer, eliminate these small meddlesome threats, and soon he will reside over a peaceful kingdom far removed from anymore mortal nonsense.

Oh, for fuck’s sake, what do you mean Sabrina convinces the council he’s unfit to be anti-pope? This is bullshit, man! You know what? Fuck this place, I’m gonna make my own damn church and ensure no other headstrong witches like Sabrina Buzzkill Spellman can ruin it. That’ll finally return things to ord- MY WIFE KEPT MY OWN CHILD A SECRET FROM ME?! WHAT THE FUCK?! Alright, that’s it, The Spellmans are clearly here to poison others (ironic foreshadowing) - time to wash my hands of them completely, I am so over thi- what’s that? The Dark Lord’s here? GOOD. About time this asshole showed up to set people straight and remind them that the values of his unholy church, which Faustus has exemplified perfectly, must be respected.

You mean for me to bow down to whom now? The halfbreed brat who has been directly and willfully wreaking havoc on the congregation he’s patiently and painstakingly lead back to greatness? Are you fucking serious, m8? No. Absolutely not. No. I’m getting out of here, and since I won’t have the little twat poison anyone else, I will literally poison them instead. Be free, sheep!

It’s up until this point that I believe Faustus was still mostly at the crossroads stage, same as Mary. He believed everything he was doing was the right thing, based on the teachings from the religion he devoted his entire life to, and that he’d be rewarded for serving the Dark Lord so faithfully - until the Dark Lord proved several times in succession that his religion was all a lie. That three+ centuries worth of groveling and abiding and waiting has meant absolutely nothing.

So now we have the Eldritch terrors. Beings more powerful than the oldest gods. He spends 15 years isolated in a time bubble purifying himself, devoting everything to them, and won’t it be so glorious when they welcome him into his ranks? He’s set them free now, after all, they owe it to him.

But doing the same action over and over and expecting a different result is what? The definition of insanity, friends. Of course the Eldritch terrors reject him, too... of course Sabrina gains their attention and veneration instead... of course he should have tried to seize their power for himself a long time ago... so, fuck it all, he’ll do that now. There is no right and wrong, there is no observed justice - if there was, he would have been rightfully recognized for all the time, effort, and pain he’s endured only to receive nothing in return.* No one ever acknowledged his pain... no one ever even considered it. Over time, that takes its toll.

(*Clearly, I mean this to be from Faustus’ perspective and not my own.)

Of course, he has inflicted more than his fair share of pain himself and I am of the personal belief he needed to pay for that, but... equally imagine being hurt over and over and watching those who did it walk away, not only without reprimand, but with the belief that they were right and just to do it? Could it slowly drain on one’s soul to watch the rules apply to some and not others? Debatable, I suppose, but I personally think yes.

So... I say all of this only to point out that there is still potential to acknowledge his pain. And thus, there is imo still potential to understand, communicate properly (I am very interested in any conversations he and Sabrina may have had during their training - I know he said she took a vow of silence, but clearly some talking occurred for Sabrina to learn so much about the void from him), grow, and finally - for him to be given the chance to repair everything he had a hand in breaking. It wouldn’t be an easy or painless task to get to that point, and no one would be faulted for not trusting him to do so, but I think there is potential for it. If they get picked up and they want to finally allow the characters some time to reflect and process shit, they could include Faustus in that.

#faustus blackwood #mary wardwell #harvey kinkle #caos #caos spoilers

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yourmandevine · 4 years

Text

Some stuff that made me happy in 2020, in no particular order

God send you no greater loss. It’s something my grandmother said a lot — a bit of highly Irish Catholic wisdom intended to remind you, warmly but sharply, that whatever you’re currently suffering through isn’t all that bad compared to what lots of other people are dealing with. That it probably isn’t too much to complain about, in the grand scheme of things. That you should, instead, be grateful for what you’ve got, big and small and everything in between.

God sent a great many people a great many unfathomable losses this year, and as hard as it felt at times, our family wasn’t among them; we’re lucky, in the big picture. In the past, people have recommended I try writing those reasons down, to give myself a list of stuff to be thankful for, for the times it’s tough to summon up the gratitude. I figured the end of the year was as good a time as any to make that list, to highlight the stuff that helped me get through this year — the reasons big, small, and in between.

So: here goes.

Peanut butter and jelly

I haven’t counted how many peanut butter and jelly sandwiches I’ve eaten since March 11, which is good, because that would be an absurd thing to do, and a sure sign that I have succumbed to a very specific kind of madness. It’s also good, though, because I would undoubtedly be ashamed by the number; the figure would be titanic, like the unsinkable ship of same name, or the iceberg that sunk it.

Or, at least, I would be ashamed under normal circumstances. This fuckin’ year required whatever flotation device you could find, and you know what I found in the fridge and cupboard? A couple of slices of bread, some strawberry jam, and some goddamn Skippy.

Need a weird mid-morning “brunch” after not having breakfast because you went right from waking up to remote school with the 6-year-old? Crank up a PB&J with that third cup of coffee. Need to pack something in the diaper bag to feed everyone while you’re out at the playground for the afternoon? Stack ‘em up, son. Need a late snack after working the overnight shift filing weird bubble playoff columns? Three letters, one ampersand, one love.

I need to eat better in 2021. But I kind of needed to eat sort of like shit to get through 2020, and time and again, when your man needed it most, PB&J was there.

Sunday night Zoom sessions with college friends

I know that most of us started something like this back in March; I’m not sure how many have stuck with it. I hope the answer is “a lot,” because honestly, knowing that I’m going to end the week by seeing a few friends — some here in Brooklyn but mostly beyond our reach for safety’s sake, some who’ve moved away — has felt like a stabilizing agent on more than a few occasions. It’s important, and no small blessing, to have people in your life who really know you, weird messy ugly bits and all, and in front of whom you can let everything go.

That gallery view’s provided a place to vent, to seethe, to laugh, to cry, and to try to find some semblance of center before heading back into another week. I’m grateful for it, and for the people in those little boxes. Except for the time they reminded me that, when I was 18, I was pretty sure I was a Pacey, and they were all extremely confident I was a Dawson. They were right, but still: a bitter pill to swallow, then and now.

Olivia calling herself “Dr. Bloody”

She took out her little toy doctor kit and just turned into a cackling villain.

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Deeply disconcerting, yes, but also adorable.

All Fantasy Everything

What got me in the door was the conceit: three very funny stand-up comedians (Ian Karmel, David Gborie, Sean Jordan), often with a very funny guest but sometimes without, pick some topic or another and engage in a fantasy draft of their favorite aspects or representations of that topic. (It is, crucially, a serpentine draft. Now what is that? That’s a great question.) Some favorite examples: Mikes; Words That You Think Make You Sound Smart, vols. 1 and 2; Things You Yell After You Dunk on Someone; Fictional Athletes; Crimes We’d Like to Commit. Yeah. It’s that kind of podcast.

What kept me around was the friendship. Listen to an episode and it becomes really clear really quickly just how much the three hosts love each other, how much fun they have being around each other and making one another laugh. The warmth radiates, just pours out of the speakers; in a year where I sorely needed some good vibes, I appreciated my regular check-ins with the Good Vibes Gang to just ... unclench for an hour and a half or so.

Drinking beer

OK, I’ll admit: This doesn’t sound great for me. It’s true, though. I really like beer. (We brewed one in our kitchen, which I realize is something of a “bearded guy in Brooklyn” cliche, but here we are. It was exciting to complete a project, and it tasted OK-ish.) At some points this year, it didn’t feel like there wasn’t much to look forward to, and sometimes drinking some High Lifes or Narragansett tall boys — with my wife in our living room, with friends on the computer, whatever — helped take the edge off a shitty day/week/month/year. I look forward to being able to do that outside with people again.

The Good Place

I am sure some very smart cultural critics and political thinkers and social revolutionaries have forwarded compelling arguments for why this show is Bad, Actually, because that seems to be more or less true about most things, whether because said thing is Actually Bad or because the economics of the attention economy on the internet functionally necessitate the composition and publication of pretty much every position on pretty much every issue, and especially ones that present a counterargument for why you shouldn’t like the thing you like, and might be kind of a piece of shit for liking it. But I liked this half-hour comedy about the way the universe might be put together, why we should try to take better care of each other, and how doing so might be a pretty great way to take better care of ourselves.

Andrew let me write about it a little bit for a big project we did before the series finale aired, which was really nice of him. I found myself thinking about this part a lot this year:

I also thought a lot about Peeps Chili, but that happens every year.

Taking pictures of my dog

Check out this flumpy goddamn champion:

“Lugar is a good boy” is the main takeaway here. They don’t all have to be complicated.

Schitt’s Creek

I know we’re not alone in this, but we inhaled this show this year. A half-hour comedy about people being laid low, learning how to deal with who they actually are, and finding some grace and community and opportunities for growth kind of hit the spot, I guess.

One of the most wholesale enjoyable ensemble comedy casts I can remember; Catherine O’Hara was already in Cooperstown, but what she made with Moira Rose only polishes her plaque. I’ll never be able to describe with any specificity the thing Chris Elliott does, but I know it has made me laugh since I was a child too young to understand the Letterman bits or see Cabin Boy in the theater, and it’s probably going to make me laugh until I am dead.

I love that people who, for years, never got to see themselves or people like them on screen got to see David Rose on screen and maybe recognize themselves a little bit. The idea that seeing the David/Patrick relationship might make them maybe feel a little more at home, a little safer and more whole, makes me happy. Sad, about the before, but happy, about the now and the what comes next.

Past that, I just love how what was ostensibly a family-and-friends production for a Canadian channel just got absolutely everything right—the tone, the look, the sound, the theme song, the cast, the jokes, my goodness, the jokes—and before long, the rest of the world just got it. Like catching a fastball square on the barrel. Something the show clearly knew a little bit about.

Finding new outdoor places it was safe to go

Necessity is the mother of invention, and the need to give the kids a place to be that wasn’t unnecessarily dangerous but also wasn’t inside our two-bedroom apartment led us to do more exploring than we had before. Shirley Chisholm State Park is great. Canarsie Pier was a fun place to spend a Sunday morning; so’s Canarsie Playground. If we got there early enough or made our peace with some rain, the beaches at Jacob Riis Park and Fort Tilden were pretty rad this summer. I lived in Staten Island from ages 8 through 18, and during breaks throughout college, and don’t think I ever hiked in High Rock Park — that’s dumb, because it was nice!

Even if all those little excursions did was kill a little time and reduce the overall stress level of the four humans stuck in our four walls, that’s not nothing. Some days this year, it was everything.

Cobra Kai

I know I’m late here; I didn’t rush to seek it out because I don’t consider myself a huge fan of The Karate Kid, or at least not a big enough fan to sign up for YouTube’s premium service. I checked it out when it came to Netflix, though, and I honestly can’t believe how much I enjoyed this show. Give me “dumb, but with heart” every day of the week.

I believe in Miguel Diaz; I believe in Johnny Lawrence; I believe I will be firing up Season 3 next month, and perhaps drinking some Coors Banquets in its honor. (I cannot, however, believe how the “get him a body bag” thing came back around, but that’s neither here nor there.)

Closing unread tabs

I’m a serial hoarder of links, and I am bad at finishing all of them. I’ve tried to get into Pocket and Instapaper, but I’ve never been able to turn that sort of workflow — open link, save to third-party service, go back to third-party service later to read, then delete from there — into something that felt instinctual, natural, or habitual. So: lots of tabs. Like, lots of tabs.

This was a dicier proposition than usual in 2020, because cutting my work week in half to be able to more effectively coparent two kids who didn’t have school or day care for most of the year meant less time to read things.

I tried to do my best to keep up with the important stuff for work, and to read at least some stuff about how other parents were dealing with their anxiety/anger/depression/frustration at having to be on 24/7 and work, and to stay abreast of (at least some of) what was happening in the world. Sometimes, though, I would wake up and realize I’d been holding onto blog posts about Really Interesting Rotation Decisions on the 11th-Seeded Team in the East or whatever for literally nine months, and I would go against my nature and just hit the eject button on a 25-deep window, and something amazing would happen: I wouldn’t get fired for being shitty at my job. I would move on with my day, and I would feel about 10 pounds lighter.

I still keep too much stuff open. (As we speak, I’ve got three different Chrome windows open on two different laptops. I choose not to count the total tabs.) But I do so knowing that, if it gets too heavy, I can experience the momentary joy of surrendering to the inevitability that I can’t catch everything. In that moment, I feel OK with my decay.

Reading writers I wasn’t familiar with before

Two in particular stand out in my mind: Nekias Duncan, now of BasketballNews.com, who does excellent film breakdowns and statistical analysis, and Katie Heindl, who writes basketball stuff of all types all over the place, and strings sentences together in a way that scratches an itch inside my brain. I’m grateful I got more chances to read them this year, I look forward to bigger and better things for both of them, and I’m hopeful that, if things calm down and our schedules go back to something approximating normalcy, I’ll have more bandwidth to hunt out more new voices in the year ahead.

The time I ambushed my wife as she was trying to break down and put away the girls’ space tent

Pretty good.

Siobhan learning to ride a bicycle (with training wheels, but still)

The moment passed pretty quickly; Not Exactly A Mechanic over here can’t get the training wheels to reliably work right without either loosening them too much or tightening them so much that she can’t pedal it. In that first moment, though, and for as long as it lasted, it was really great to see her get excited about doing something new, big kid shit, for the first time.

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She was proud. I was proud of her. And then we went to a playground for a few hours. Pretty good day.

Tyler Tynes roasting me

Tyler did some incredible work this year — The Cam Chronicles is getting deserved praise as one of 2020′s best podcasts, and his reporting on the Movement for Black Lives was exemplary. It’s hard to top this, though:

You know what the messed up part is? I was excited to tell him what I was doing, just because I knew the reaction would be so violent. Like a body rejecting a transplant. So lucky to have such a dear, dear friend.

PUP

I’m late on everything, so I didn’t start listening to PUP until the spring of 2019, but I haven’t really stopped since. This year has been too sedentary too often; this band is too kinetic to allow me to stay there.

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“Bloody Mary Kate and Ashley Kate” is never more than about 20 minutes away from returning to the front of my mind. I would fucking love for it to be safe enough to watch these guys live at some point, and I am absolutely going to take Steve up on his offer.

Someone sending me a shirt based on a joke I tweeted

First:

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Then:

I’m not sure you should be rewarding my behavior, SnoCoPrintShop, but I appreciate it all the same.

Which reminds me:

Family dinner/family movie night

My wife works in Manhattan and commutes back on the train, and we've tried to prioritize getting the girls to bed early since they were little, so that doesn’t leave much of a window between when she gets home and they go in the tub for us all to connect; before everything shut down, we almost never really ate together. We’re still not great about it, but for a while now we’ve carved out Saturday as family dinner night, where we sit down to eat and talk about our “up” from the day — something that happened that made us feel good or happy, or something we’re looking forward to. (We used to talk about our “down,” too, but that kind of seemed like overkill. Why try to focus on more bad shit right now, you know?)

Then we settle in for a movie, with who gets to pick rotating each week. It’s mostly been Pixar, which has been great but also has its drawbacks; after she caught me crying during one of them (maybe the Bing-Bong scene in Inside Out? or Miguel singing to Grandma Coco?), Siobhan straight up told me, “You need to get yourself together, man.” We just watched My Neighbor Totoro, too, which they loved, so we’re probably going to try some more Miyazaki soon. It’s a really simple thing, but it’s one we rarely made time for before, and it’s been really nice to manufacture something positive that we can share and look forward to together.

Sometimes looking like a shiftless drifter

No shade to anyone who felt strongly about getting a lineup or whatever, but I haven’t really felt like going to the barbershop was worth the risk, and I continue to refuse to believe that my wife can actually pull off the fade she’s long wanted to give me. (It is also possible that she just means she’s intending to run my fade, and that I will before long wind up cold-cocked and slumped by my bride of nine years.) So I’ve just kind of been growing out my hair like it was when I was single, and sometimes been letting my beard get kind of out of control too, and, well, I sort of like looking a little bit like a Wildling, it turns out.

I have since trimmed things up a little. It didn’t go over well with my youngest. Oh, well. I’ll try to do better next time.

My wife and daughter singing the Pixies

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We don’t know all the words to too many lullabies, so we sing the ones we do know the words to. This will probably come back to bite us in the years ahead. For now, though: Pretty good.

Doughboys’ Tournament of Chompions: Munch Madness: Mac Attack

I can’t believe how invested I became in Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell’s quest to determine the best menu item at McDonald’s in a 64-seed tournament that spawned hours and hours of delightfully funny audio featuring all-time home-run guests like Jon Gabrus and Nicole Byer, who gleefully feed into the often warm, sometimes antagonistic, always entertaining chemistry between the two hosts. I have also never found myself wanting to go to McDonald’s more in my entire life. I have hit the drive-thru a couple of times since, and the boys are right: The McDonald’s fountain Coke does just hit different.

Sound Only

I’ve lost track of whether or not a 38-year-old is considered a millennial, but I’m quite confident that I’m not exactly plugged into “the millennial lifestyle” as my teammates Justin Charity and Micah Peters discuss it on their podcast, which relaunched this summer. Doesn’t matter, though, because I love hearing Charity and Micah talk to each other even if I don’t know what they’re talking about.

Their conversation about Dave Chappelle was great. After listening to their Travis Scott episode, I felt like I kind of understood who he is and why he occupies the space he does in pop culture now. I had no idea how they were going to get me to give a shit about set photos from The Batman, but this they not only got me there, but wended their way toward blaming 50 Cent for needing to know who Groot is to have a conversation on the internet, which is something for which Abraham Lincoln did not die. The show is good, it's getting better, it’s fun to hear them talk their shit, and Charity’s regular bellowing of “I, TOO, AM AMERICA” has made me smile for four straight months.

Siobhan’s letters and notes

She’s in first grade now, and she’s taken to communicating her feelings through the written word. A lot.

I won’t pretend that I loved all of these in the moment. I can only get so upset, though, when she’s already writing with such a clear voice. (And trying to use proper punctuation. (And drawing little cartoons to drive the point home.)

Palm Springs

I’m having a hard time remembering too many specifics about it right now, which probably means it’d be a good thing to rewatch over the holidays. But, as I’m sure many people noted many months before we got around to watching it, a comedy about living the same day over and over again, and about trying to figure out how to make your life mean something when everything seems meaningless, scratched a pretty particular, and particularly important, itch this year. It could’ve been twice as long, and I would’ve eaten up every second of Andy Samberg and Cristin Miloti together.

I’m pretty sure I cried, although this year, that doesn’t necessarily mean much. Also, put Conner O’Malley in more things.

Joining our union’s bargaining committee

I won’t say too much about this, but I will say that becoming an active participant in the process of a labor union negotiating its first contract with management has been an extremely educational experience. It’s pushed me to have conversations, sometimes difficult ones, about our priorities as a staff and a company. It's helped me get closer with the other past and present members of the BC, and has led me to start developing relationships with members of our staff that I otherwise might not have had much of an opportunity to get to know.

The organizing work takes time, effort, and energy, but trying to do what I can to help take better care of my colleagues has been well worth all of that. Here’s hoping that in 2021 we can reach a deal that helps make our workplace even better, stronger, and more equitable for all of us.

Publishing a story about Stevie Nicks’ Fajita Roundup

I swear this is true: After I accepted my offer to work at The Ringer, but before I started, I told a friend that one thing I was excited about was that you had the chance to work on offbeat stuff here, in both the “kind of weird” and “not about the NBA” senses. That, I thought, might maybe open the door to me getting to write a story about a Saturday Night Live sketch I saw when I was a teenager about Stevie Nicks from Fleetwod Mac running a cheap Tex-Mex restaurant in Sedona, Arizona — a sketch that I wasn’t sure anyone else remembered, but that was stuck in my head forever.

That story ran on May 26.

A lot of people seemed to like it.

Accomplishing this goal was, as dumb as this might sound, a highlight of my year, and, honestly, a highlight of my career. I’d like to do some more stuff like this next year, time permitting; we’ll see. Whether or not I do, I got to do this. I’ll always have that.

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darthlorddiamond · 4 years

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The Dunes

This is the fifth episode of the Black Diamond story, if you want to read the previous episode or follow the next ones you can check my Masterlist.

Summary: Since Diamond arrived in Parnassos she has spent most of her time with Egil and when she finally decides to join Phasma and her group they end up in serious trouble with the Claw Clan members.

Words: 2,609

Reading Time: 11 min

Category: Bio, Smut

Warnings: Violence, Mild Sex

__________________

The Dunes

It´s been a month since I arrived at Parnassos and became a member of the Scyre Clan. From my first day, Egil made sure I felt at home. Apparently, Parnassos was also part of some disaster from the old war, the truth is, that I don´t know very well what happened here, but some of the women of the clan gave me a small tour of the caverns that host our clan from the sun and they told some stories about a nuclear accident related to an old company called Con Star Mining about a hundred years ago.

At the end of our tour, one of the women give me a small warning "You must be careful if you go beyond the caves at night..." her name was Ylva, she was the matriarch "You don't want to run into any monster!" and she laughed, raising her hands like the claws of an animal "Mother!" a little girl shouted; the only little girl within the clan was Frey, she ran and grab Ylva by her legs, hidden her face in it and Ylva watched her while one of her hands started stroked her hair "Nothing happens honey, I'm just playing" returning her gaze to me, she smiled slightly and pointed at a cabin "Why don´t you go and introduce yourself to Carr? Surely Phasma and Keldo are with him..." I tried not to say anything, I still didn't feel like making new friends "It would be good if you started making friends your age, you can't be stuck with Egil all the time!".

I feel a little embarrassed and look at my feet "I'm sorry to be a nuisance..." turning her gaze sharply towards me, she removed her hands from Frey's head and held me by the shoulders "Darling!" I slightly fixed my eyes on hers, without a doubt Ylva had beautiful green eyes "You aren´t a nuisance! Take it out of your head! You simply need to relate to everyone here..." she painted a small smile as she wrapped her arms around me, hugging me almost maternally "I understand that you've been through a lot. All of us have been through a lot, but that's what the clan is for, we will be few but being united we´re strong” I couldn't do more than hold her arms tightly, I didn't want her to stop hugging me, for some strange reason, Ylva reminded me a lot of Tato and made my heart fill with a familiar warmth that I didn´t want to disappear.

Nervously I went to the cabin and knocked on the door. A few seconds later a tall girl of my age opened the door; she had beautiful blonde hair "Wow, until you make an appearance!" smiling, she stepped aside gesturing with her hand to enter.

Apparently, that hut works as a kind of amusement barracks for the youth of the clan "I thought that Ylva only had one daughter!" one of the boys inside said mockingly, he was a young man also with blond hair "I think she already stole your boyfriend Phasma!" answered another young man "Men! Egil has good tastes!" and they both laughed. Obviously, the girl didn´t like the comment and crossed her arms looking to the side "And I didn´t know that I was meeting with two stupid children" she replied walking next to me and giggling while elbowing me. The comment didn´t come well for the two boys who only exchanged glances between them without saying anything.

"My name is Phasma..." the girl broke the silence, standing in front of me; pointing to the black-haired boy she snap her mouth "That inept giant is Carr..." and pointing to the other boy she turned to see me lazily "And that stupid little brain is Keldo, my foolish brother" Keldo just let out a laugh "I´m a brain or stupid boy dear sister, make up your mind now” and both continued laughing while Phasma just crossed her arms. I honestly couldn't take my eyes off Phasma, she was a very pretty girl and, in a way, I was intimidated but also attracted to the way she expressed herself.

"You arrive just at the right time..." Carr broke the spoke while Phasma walked towards the sofa with them "We were planning a getaway to the Terpsichore station" if I remember correctly, it was right where the nuclear disaster of Con Star occurred "Are we not supposed to go out at night?" the three turned to see me, Carr let out a huge laugh and turning to see Keldo pointed out to me “I think the diamond is afraid of going out at night. You should spend more time with Frey and forget about joining us" he continues making fun of me while laughing "She´s right about something guys, and that´s that we must be very careful when leaving..." Keldo crossed his arms "In the first, we don´t want that Egil finds out that we escaped and, in the second, we´ll have to cross the territory of other clans to reach our destination” it was obvious that he was the one in charge of planning everything “So... Are we all agree?” Phasma leap herself from the sofa and walked towards me “Diamond and Keldo leave from the east side and Carr and I went out from the west, we meet passing the dunes...” leaning an arm on my shoulder she turned to see me “We count with you, right?" without saying anything, I nodded my head.

In the middle of the night, I went to the meeting point where I had to see Keldo, when I arrived he was already there, leaning against one of the walls, when I approached him he just looked up and smiled at me “I´m happy that you made it” and taking my hand he began to guide me through the corridors of the caves. Once outside, we meet the rest of the group and begin our journey.

Little by little, we enter the territory of the Claw Clan "The plant is just crossing the northern dunes, we must continue..." commented Keldo when a hoarse voice interrupted his instructions "Look nothing else! We have four dogs of Scyre Clan lost in our territory!” and a series of vehicles appear behind the dunes “Shit, it's Balder” whispered Phasma as they cornered us to the center “What are we going to do with these animals, Balder!?" shouted a voice from one of the vehicles "We must give them a punishment! No one enters the territory of the Claw Clan without permission!" another voice shouted "Yes! Yes! They must be beaten to death!".

Among angry screams, the vehicles continued to surround us without stopping "What an adventure. What a good idea you had…” Carr turned to see Phasma but his comment was cut, since from inside one of the vehicles someone had hit him with a stick and knocked him to the ground “Carr!” I tried to approach him but Keldo held me on graving my arm and placed me behind him.

One of the vehicles stopped and from inside a large man, of the dug species, came out with a chain in his hands, little by little he advances towards us "It is time to put chains to this dogs!" he said between waves of laughter and praises, Balder walked towards us using the chain as a whip, we were all scared to death though Phasma and Keldo tried to keep their composure "Nothing happened here, we can go and pretend that nothing happened" Phasma walked towards him with her hands in the air, her voice had a mocking tone, however, her fear was noted under "We can go..." immediately a slap hit Phasma on the floor and Balder started kicking her. Keldo ran to defend her but he only met with the hit of the chain "Pathetic animals!" Balder spit over Keldo and turned his head to look at me.

I was completely paralyzed by fear and couldn´t think clearly, all my friends were on the floor and the only thing that I could think at that moment was to raise my fists to my chest, which made Balder laugh out loud. Out of nowhere, a sharp blow hit my abdomen and I miss my breath. Trying to recover from the impact, I started punching the air, eyes closed, hoping that one of it would hit him, but the only thing I managed to be was to become the laughingstock of his entire group.

"I think we have a fighter!" Balder shouted while everyone was laughing "Silly girl!" he gave me one more blow, right to my abdomen that put me on the floor "You have no idea..." he started to kick me "With whom...". Suddenly his speech was interrupted "Enough Balder! I believed that you have learned to mess with someone your size!" opening my eyes I could see how Egil was approaching us "You come to pick up your pets Egil!?" I let out a groan when Balder took my hair and suspended me in the air "This is what you want Egil!? Then come for it!" and smiling malevolently he put my knees on the floor, still holding my hair forced me to look him in the eyes "Why are you crying little girl? Are you afraid?" at that moment I lost myself in Balder´s eyes and saw all the damage of my past:

"You should never have been born, you are nothing more than a burden..."

"A fragile girl..."

"My little diamond..."

Anger flooded my entire body again "I'm NOT a fragile little girl!" I spread my arms out to the sides and a blow of air turned all the vehicles of the Claw Clan "She´s a witch!" shouted one of Balder´s men, as several ran to the dunes, including Balder. In the distance, I could see how Egil, Keldo, Carr, and Phasma saw me amazed, when out of nowhere, the force abandoned my body and I fell on the sand.

When I opened my eyes I was in our cabin, the one I shared with Egil. Carefully I got out of bed and walked to the living room, where I found Egil lighting the fireplace.

Despite the differences in our ages, I have to admit that Egil was handsome, tall, toned. He had beautiful green eyes and a lightly cropped light brown hair. His body, although marked by a few battle wounds, was quite strong. There was no doubt why he was the leader of our Clan.

"Egil, what happened?" my voice was low but firm, without answering me he just turned to look at me askance as he stood up from the floor. Slowly I approached him "Egil..." my voice cut off "I expected much more from you!" he yelled as his hands flew up into the air and I felt on my knees a little bit scared of his anger “Get out like that, at night! I think that Ylva had told you about the dangers of out there!" his walk through the room was never interrupted "You were aware of what could have happened?!" for the first time since his litany started he look at me, however, I didn´t dare to bear his gaze, so I dodged it "Look at me when I speak to you!" he raised his voice again as he walked towards where "Please, look at me when I speak to you..." his voice almost changed to a whisper and once he found himself in front of me he knelt "Diamond..." he brought his hands to mine and taking it between and he leaned his forehead on mine "Never do anything like that again...".

Tears had come out of my eyes "I'm so sorry Egil, I thought that maybe we could face them..." I felt so stupid "That may be, facing them, I could stop being afraid" his hands rose my face "There´s nothing wrong with being afraid" his gaze fixed on mine "Fear makes me weak. I don't want to be a burden to you" wiping my tears with his thumbs, Egil continued his gaze on mine "I was afraid today..." I couldn't stop sobbing "I was afraid of losing Carr, Keldo and Phasma..." Egil's eyes felt warm on me "I was afraid that something could happen..." his hands rested on my hands again and bringing them to his mouth he whispered in them "I was very afraid of losing you" closing his eyes, Egil became like that for a few more minutes while my breathing was regularized.

Little by little I could feel how the force that Egil applied to my hands was fading, lowering his hands next to mine. For a moment neither of us said anything, we just stared into each other's eyes. The silence was deepening and the firewood in our cabin began to die. Egil slowly approached me, his forehead was on mine, our breathing was one. Shakily he raised his hands to hold my face and through mutual approval, present in the silence, he brought his lips to mine.

At first it was just a caress, his lips felt warm and wet. They were thin and soft, he has a taste like mint and tobacco. Little by little the intensity of his embrace grew stronger and his mouth began to devour mine, our teeth collided, one of his hands slid to the nape of my neck and I let out a small moan that he took to deepen the kiss, I feel how his tongue explore my mouth, while his other hand traveled to my lower back.

Once at my waist, his hand reached the edge of my shirt and slipped his hand underneath. I could feel his fingers tracing shapes on my sides. I placed my hands on his chest and let out another small moan on his lips, Egil never stop eating my mouth. I could feel a heat forming on my chest when one of his hands gently stroked one of my breasts. His fingers traced small circles over my nipple, which was starting to get hard, he made my underwear to aside and took my nipple between his fingers and gently began to roll it, I released another small moan on his lips. I could feel him putting more pressure on my nipple and my pussy was starting to get wet, I moved one of my hands from his chest, going through his abdomen until I reached his crotch, where I could feel his hard cock pressing between his pants, so I started stroking it with my fingertips, making Egil moan on my lips.

We parted for a moment to breathe, so I took advantage and capture his lower lip between my teeth, causing Egil to groan in his throat. Suddenly, a rustle sounded outside the cabin and we both parted immediately. Egil stood up and started walking towards his room, when he reached the door he turned to see me over his shoulder "From tomorrow you´ll training with me, it´s obvious that you’re not like the other boys" and without another word, he entered his room and closed the door.

I couldn´t understand what just happened, in one moment Egil was almost on top of me and the next second he had withdrawn with total indifference, leaving me on the living room floor completely confused, meanwhile, in another part of the clan, Phasma was running towards the dunes, broken heart in her hands, crying and screaming inconsolably. That night she had gone to Egil's cabin to apologize and thank him for his help when a scene inside had petrified her.

Note: I would like to especially thank @kyloren-theprince, @thetorturerwrites & @kylorengarbagedump who took time to read this first part of my saga and sent me observations with all the patience in the world.

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tellywoodtrash · 5 years

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What is HAPPENING on Sanjeevani, girl?! I saw some clips on my Insta and it had a wild!Gaurav Chopra?! A nervous wreck masquerading as Dr Ishani?? And she's MARRIED to GChops?! Ded!Dr Shashank?? Mysterious son and Dr Anjali in Germany??? What.

Hiiiiiiiiii friend! 😘😘😘

Loooooooong time! How have you beeeeeeeen?! 🤗🤗🤗

Lmao I can’t even beginnnnnnn to describe the clusterfuck that has been Sanjivani since like…. October, but lemme try and break it down in bullet points (if you know all of this already, just skip down to the “three years later” bit!):

Sid who was flirting it up and sexy dancing at a wedding with Ishani till 8 pm, suddenly at 8:01 pm remembers that he has a dead fiancee in his past (plus najaayaz issues) and suddenly starts calling himself a panauti, properly balls-to-the-wall believing in the phenomenon (y’know, as educated, scientifically-minded surgical residents/general medical wunderkinds tend to do! blaming things like their mother’s premarital pregnancy and an older family members’ developmental disorder on themselves!) and being passive-aggressive in trying to ward off Ishani to “protect her” from him.

Passive-aggressive has to be notched up to AGGRESSIVE-AGGRESSIVE coz Ishani’s a dheent who won’t take no for an answer; so he GOES AND MARRIES ISHANI’S BEST FRIEND ASHA, who has gotten knocked up by Aman (who tata-bye-byed outta the whole sitch. Props to him for being the smartest person in this show. He’s probably living an unfulfilled life somewhere, but seemed to come from wealth, so how sad can you really be when you have so much money????)

This whole SidAsha marriage was engineered behind the scenes by Vardhan - who found out that Asha was pregnant and threatened to set her Khap Panchayat from Haryana on her or some shit. He coerced Asha to take advantage of Sid’s “achchaai” by playing on his najaayaz kid feels and take responsibility for her.

Lots of angst and drama as Ishani and Sid struggle with their feels about each other while he’s married to a pregnant Asha, whom he’s pledged his support and name to.

Asha’s pregnancy hormones seem to make her batshit crazy and unable to make any reasonable decisions, and she keeps messing with Sid’s career; drugging him and making him fuck up important surgeries and what not.

All this, again, coz Vardhan. Vardhan wants revenge from Sid. Why? Because dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn, Sid is Shashank’s son! Vardhan wants to ruin Shashank’s life and thinks the best way to do it is by torturing his kids, and thus is fucking with Sid’s career, and is fucking with Anjali (like, literally. 👉🏽👌🏽👉🏽👌🏽👉🏽👌🏽 Coz sis has daddy issues and reallllllll bad judgement when it comes to men.)

But why does Vardhan want revenge from Shashank???? Damned if we (including the writers) know. Something to do with Vardhan’s Dearly Departed Didi, whose photo he keeps staring at while gritting his teeth. I’m guessing Shashank’s stuck his pen in that inkwell too?

Oh btw, Shashank also confessed his feelings for Juhi, who seemed HORRIFIED at the prospect, but like 5 minutes later is cool with it and reciprocates with her own crushy-wushy feelings? Idk man, idk. It’s all very unclear what that whole plot point was exactly, beyond some vague conversations and ambiguous coy smiles.

Daddy Shashank is disappointed in his known/unknown kid(s) for their various missteps in personal/professional lives. Saare milke inhe paagal banaa rahein hai, yeh chutiya bachchein.

Lots of other miscellaneous fuckery is going on between Sid/Ishani which……. honestly, is exhausting and not worth getting into. Anyway, it’s finally found out that Asha is the culprit behind this dhai mahine ka dukh-dard-chutiyaapa.

Ishani takes a bullet for pregnant Asha, and goes into a coma. Guilt-ridden Asha tells Vardhan to fuck off, signs annulment papers, and finally gtfo, but not before giving Sid a clue about who’s really behind all this kaand.

Vardhan is like lmao, I didn’t need her anyway and goes about paying randomass people to frame Sid for medical malpractice. Ishani literally comes out of the coma and hightails it straight to the police station to save her man. (For the record: I wouldn’t even let a man interrupt an afternoon nap of mine.)

Oh btw, by this point Anjali was like bohut ho gaya and fucked off to go play a Naagin on Colors. Good for her. 🐍🐍🐍

Sid and Ishani start working on exposing Vardhan. Coz appropriate R&R after getting up from a goddamn coma, what’s that!?!??!? JUST SHAKE IT OFF!!!!!!!!! PFFFFFFFT, TAKE A CROCIN OR TWO!!!!

Lo and behold, Dr. Shashank is killed in an accident. (We haven’t really seen him for the last………………………………… like 20 episodes or so? So…. do we really care at this point? Not really. Mohnish didn’t even show up to shoot the dead body waale shots. For the longest time I was like PAKKA SHASHANK NAHI HOGA, FACE NAHI DIKHA RAHEIN, KOI AUR HAI YAAR!!!!!!!!!!! But nope, all the characters identify him by face……… So yeah, egg on MY face.)

Sid’s mummy drops the bomb at the cremation that Sid is Shashank’s son and should light the funeral pyre. A very cool fun appropriate time for Anjali AND SID to find that out!!!!!

Sid and Ishani channel their sads into exposing Vardhan. Hallelujah, finally a win for the unluckiest people in this show. FFS even the little child who got impaled on a rod and Nurse Philo’s daughter with terminal brain cancer have had better lives.

Sid proposes to Ishani. He says he’s been accepted into some program in America and wants her to come with to start a new life there. Ishani is like nope, YEH MERA INDIA SANJIVANI, I LOVE MY INDIA SANJIVANI.

Ishani’s Mama/Mami come for rishta talks and catch the two almost making out in an on-call room and are all hawwwwwwwwww cheeeeeeee sanskaaaaaaar, etc. They turn out to dislike Sid coz najaayaz. And are rudeass snobby assholes to him and his family. Sid is understandably quite mad.

INSTEAD OF TALKING THAT SHIT THROUGH WITH HER, HE DITCHES ISHANI AT THE FUCKING MANDAP VIA TEXT AND FLIES OFF TO AMERICA. VIA TEXT. VIA TEXTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. We are all reminded once again, that Tellywood Men Ain’t Shit.

Except for Drs. Rahil and Neil who have categorically maintained their Very Good Boy crowns 👑👑👑👑 throughout the run of this show. Gold stars to them for achieving the impossible. 🌟🌟🌟

Sanjivani is on fire. Like, metaphorically it was always on fire, but this time literally. Unhinged Ishani runs riiiiiiight into the burning building.

3 years later………..

Sanjivani has been rebuilt. By Gaurav Chopra whose name is Navratna Singh, lololololol. An appropriate name because he does seem to be quite thanda thanda cool cool. He reopens and invites all the old staff back to pitch in and restore the place back to its old glory.

Anjali is a guest lecturer in Germany and may or may not come back to Sanjivani soon, depending on her Naagin transformation schedule.

Rishabh now seems to be a semi-decent human being????? Still a bit of a self-obsessed idiot, but definitely seems to be not as much of an asshole.

Rahil is super-serious and also bitter that his best friend just fucked off to America and hasn’t bothered keeping in touch. No one knows where Ishani is.

Ishani is now some kinda nervous wreck who spends her time doing pottery, but not the sexy Ghost kind. Just very sad and jittery and constantly popping anxiety pills (which looked like green Cadbury Gems to me???????) She can’t seem to help a person who sustains a semi-serious injury near her, completely freezing up in the moment.

Mr. Thanda Thanda Cool Cool finds her at the pottery studio, seems quite familiar with her, and tries to gently persuade her to come back to her first love: medicine.

But ofc heterosexuality rears its ugly head and sis can only think of the trash boy that ditched her.

Mr. TTCC brings her to Sanjivani but she behaves exactly like a toddler on the first day of school. There’s having to be coaxed out of the vehicle, reluctant dragging of feet, weeping, the works.

Precap shows her yelling at TTCC and saying he’s the boss of Sanjivani, not her, and kis haq se pakda hai, chodo mera haath!!!!!!!!!! And he gently reminds her of the wedding vows he took, to never let go of her.

Looks like the poor dude may have invested and rebuilt all this just for her and……………… in the end he’s gonna have to let her go to Dr. FuckBoi, mirroring the end of DMG, which……………… *prolonged, defeated sigh*

AND THAT’S WHAT YOU MISSED ON GLEE SANJIVANI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#sanjivani #bullet point recaps #tt answers #theincorrigiblemagpie

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unwiltingblossom · 5 years

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Magicians s4 is garbage and here’s why. Spoilers.

Can we take a moment to appreciate just how bad Magicians s4 was, as a whole? I know, people are mad about the whole ‘going out of their way to hint at Eliot/Q for no reason when they had just as much of a connection as friends, just to upset the people that shipped it more when they killed Q’ but

Honestly, there’s so much more broken garbage about this season than just the one part of how it ended that the writers WANT us to talk about. So yes, let’s take a moment first to appreciate how the writers hate Quin and refused to let him grow as a character ever or give him the moments of success he had in the books, until they pointlessly murdered him instead of letting him finally be happy with the ending he should have gotten. It deserves derision.

But let’s focus on other things, too.

It’s long. It’s ranty. It’s going to rip apart season four and its finale and also touch on season three. It’s already tagged spoilers, but there’s more spoilers in here than out of the cut. Also, yes. We’re gonna talk about how the show pretends that it’s empowering females while it takes away all of their agency and makes them all about their men. And other hypocrisy.

First off. The fake female empowerment crap. And yes, it was so fake. We know it because the show itself utterly undermines and destroys it at the end of the season. Or sometimes literally right after they flex.

First: IT’S OKAY TO CALL MARGOT BY THE GENDER APPROPRIATE TITLE FOR ROYAL MONARCH OF A LAND. I know that by magical technicality she has to be ‘high KING’ (more on that later if I remember, because they actually ignore some of that) but there’s no reason Margot herself and other characters need to insist on ‘king’. Queen Regnant has the same ruling power and authority as a King Regnant. That’s why a non ruling Queen is called Queen Consort. Unless, of course, Magicians and SYFY are implying that Queen Elizabeth I and II are somehow inferior to King Edward and Henry the VIII(s) because they are only queens? Nevermind Elizabeth II has been queen so long her crown would have fossilized on her head by now if she wore it like fictional royalty always did.

Anyway.

Show. You’re not progressive because you have Penny smugly smile and say ‘let go of your cishet white boy bias, the main characters are the women’. You’re just obnoxious. Especially when Penny immediately finds out the cishet white boy he’s talking down to is actually his boss. Oof.

See, if you want us to believe other characters are actually the protagonists? You need to treat them like protagonists. You don’t do that, though. The only reason I remember the blonde librarian’s name is because it’s Zelda.

The episode builds up how important Fen is and how she has her own quest that will do something important, but what happens literally the very next episode? Oh right, Margot steps in and takes control of that, seizing the quest for herself. The only reasons I can presume this is for is #1 - the show writers despise the books and want to undermine everything about them, down to ensuring none of the humans get to rule Fillory even after they wasted multiple episodes democratically handing Margot the crown. Too bad for the talking animals, eh? and #2 to set up the sequel hook in the ending that, while interesting purely because it’s a Prince Caspian set up, was entirely unnecessary and could have been replaced by a series finale ending instead.

It actually makes no sense. Margot doesn’t contribute in any significant way she couldn’t have if she were still High King, because Fen could have done the entire black sand mission herself, because she is married to Eliot, remember, let’s not make fun of her feelings for him just because she’s not the main character (but she is! screeches smug penny!) - could she have seen the fairy? No, but she would have been able to work it out anyway, because it just wanted to help her. And here’s the kicker? The reason West Loria is against Fillory (aside from lol plot) is because OF FEN. Margot wasn’t ruling when Fillory chose the wrong side! Margot hasn’t weighed in at all, so why IN THE WORLD would this woman decide that she absolutely wouldn’t deal with any High King EXCEPT THE ONE WHO DID THE THING SHE DIDN’T LIKE?

Quick, tell me what Margot contributed to the plot from the point she left Fillory that Fen couldn’t have done, or that couldn’t have been accomplished by Margot still in Fillory.

Whoops, you’re out of time! There’s nothing. She did nothing of consequence that Fen couldn’t have done just slightly differently to suit her skills and actually justify the BS Penny spewed about her being a significant protagonist figure. Margot got swapped with Fen primarily because, no matter what self congratulatory subversive crap the show patted itself on the back with, Margot is actually a main character and Fen isn’t, so Margot needed to at least be near the action, and get her own quest, even if it was just taking Fen’s away from her. And also having a weird rushed romance with Josh for some reason. Who knows. I miss the genuine connection Margot and Eliot had for seasons that this season chose to throw away on a boring monster plot. I also miss Margot and Q’s friendship that this season ignored because we needed to focus on romance instead and pretend Margot doesn’t make friends.

Which reminds me, it’s super great how we went from Josh detesting Margot for making him help murder one of his only friends to Josh wanting to be her boyfriend because they share an STD. Really important and believable romance, there.

Kady also did fairly little from the point of that episode onward. They had to bring the Hedgewitches plot in to make her important, and even as the defacto ruler of the HW she still did very little except suggest that they could help the completely improbable ‘let’s just skip over the mechanics of making this work’ collaborative spell. And Alice and Julia already had the contacts to allow that to work anyway

ANYWAY MOVING ON

but not too far, because I need to talk about that awful red sand episode.

First, an aside: just because people liked your two musical episodes over the span of the entire series doesn’t mean you need to start stuffing singing into everywhere because ‘SINGING’

If only the problem with the episode was that the singing didn’t end with dancing Eliot. But no. This episode was PEAK fake female empowerment.

Margot finds a tribe of nomads who inexplicably choose to live in a desert that’s constantly trying to kill them. Every time women have an over the top emotional eruption (the show keeps saying ‘the tiniest bump’ or whatever but that’s a bunch of crap, it’s very clearly only when they have an eruption or tantrum), red sand appears and tries to kill them via possession. Men in the tribe protect them from this by jumping in the way and getting possessed instead, and then USUALLY DIE because the method of fixing them is to effing stab them with double axes and pull out the spirit, then try to fix them with desert medicine.

Raised knowing that their lives are in constant danger, and that if they fly off the handle about something not only are they in danger but the men around them, whom they purportedly love, may very well die, the women of course are incapable of just controlling themselves and will erupt in rage regularly like some modern city girl even while being actively cautioned to calm down and knowing they’re endangering their entire settlement.

Upon hearing that men consistently risk their lives to protect their insane girlfriends who literally cannot control their emotions on pain of death, Margot concludes ‘wow, this culture is mighty misogynistic. sucks.’

but then, oh no. The sand isn’t trying to HURT them, the sand - for no reason anyone in the show bothers to explain, because world building isn’t important to the writers - it actually just wants the women not to be sad and will grant their any wish if one so much as has a temper tantrum. Trigger scene where Margot beats up all the evil menfolk for oppressing these poor, helpless, weak women who need a sassy foreign girl to save them from themselves and literal fairies to look after their every boo-boo. There’s brief lip service given to the idea that maybe the women themselves DON’T hate all the men around them, but Margot shrugs it off and suggests that now the women of the camp are free to literally murder any man who makes them mad, or ‘just’ force them to slave for them for however long they want.

PATRIARCHY DESTROYED, GUYS. EQUALITY ACHIEVED. MEN ARE NOW ENSLAVED AND KILLED OVER NOTHING!!! LOOK AT THE STRONG WOMEN WHO LITERALLY NEEDED A FOREIGN WHITE CHICK TO SHOW UP AND SAVE THEM SO THAT A WHOLE SPECIES OF FAIRIES COULD CONSTANTLY CODDLE AND LOOK AFTER THEIR EVERY NEED.

SO STRONG.

I’m not even joking, though. They tried to write a “YEAH! WOMEN!” plot but just made the women there look completely inept and incapable of fending for themselves at all without a smart American there to teach them. And that’s without getting into the horror of setting up a slave society where men are objects that can be killed on a whim. eugh.

Anyway, so Margot does all that and spends just...all season insisting WOMEN ARE STRONGER. WOMEN ARE TOUGH. WOMEN ARE STRONNGGG. DON’T NUTSACK OUT ON ME MAN. BE A PUSSY AND TOUGH IT OUT!!!!! OF COURSE THE WOMAN IS THE VIOLENT AND UNSTABLE ONE (wait--)

But where’s that all lead us to?

The season finale.

Before we dive too deep let’s take a brief moment to look at poor Julia through all this season.

#1, in some twist that doesn’t really make sense, the dean hides all of the main cast as alternate personalities under glamors with some heavy witness protection magic as a deal to the Library so they don’t have to die...and so naturally the Library has a dead or alive bounty on them.

huh?

Whatever, let’s not focus too hard on the garbage pail of a plot the monster plot is, because that’s tied into the huge dumpsterfire that season 3′s finale was, and the best to talk about that is how these smart and manipulative people literally couldn’t be bothered to lie to and trick a simple childlike monster into thinking he was their ACTUAL FRIEND no matter how often he looked for validation from them (maybe he wouldn’t have been so keen on clinging to Eliot if he thought you guys liked HIM, not just the body, you nimrods) and who began to get some development and understanding of living life normally without killing everyone right before they imprison him and send him to ultra-hell.

No it’s cool. Just imprison the childlike creature who you didn’t bother to try to teach morality to after it desperately sought some kind of affection and acceptance from literally anyone. Seems like the good guy thing to do. I mean, you showed that mean ol’ child molester by getting him to trust you, using his knowledge, and then literally trying to murder him, so honestly this isn’t out of character at all for our ‘good guys’.

a n y way. JULIA.

It’s hinted at in season 3 that burning up all your god magic to make keys is actually temporary (but renders you able to be killed, so season 4 literally got it opposite of right, whoops), so obviously Julia really wants to get that back. She’s been motivated and shaped by magic as much as Q. She has been raped, lost her shade, suffered, had people die protecting and helping her, and became a goddess entirely by her own merit. She reasonably wants to get that power back, since she can’t die and isn’t really affected by magic in a normal way so she’s not fully human still.

Julia rescues everyone from the mindwipe by dying literally hundreds, maybe thousands of times and coming back. She gets a Mainaid (who I don’t feel like spelling right) that comes to believe in her and worship her as a goddess, and what happens? Well, first Penny who wants to get his dick wet gets jealous and runs off because he’s not the center of her world for like an hour. Partly because of this, the girl whom she rescued from suicide gets pointlessly murdered protecting her.

But hey, they’ve confirmed Julia is still a deity mostly but just can’t seem to access her powers. So Julia keeps digging and looking for a way to get them back. This leads to discovering an ancient book in the mirror version of the library who confirms that yes, she’s basically a demigod who won’t ever die, but needs to complete the transition either back to full godhood or to full humanity or she’s always be a little wrong, basically like she dislocated her divine limb fixing the keys and it can either be put back in or chopped off.

Now, this book (the Binder) warns her that both options are going to be long and painful and have their downsides, and implies they’ll be permanent, so she’s going to have to be SURE of what she wants. This warning is the ONLY reason Julia doesn’t immediately jump to a decision. And then the Monster shows up and kidnaps her. She calls the Lady Underground, who is unhelpful and just says ‘gotta make a choice yourself girl, no wrong answer’ and then the lady gets herself killed for no reason after Julia is immediately possessed.

Penny ‘rescues’ her by stabbing her in the back to pull the spirit out, and then blah blah her demigodhood doesn’t like that stabby thing, and it won’t let her die but also won’t heal. Solution? Make the choice and go full god or human and it’ll fix. Naturally, even though Julia’s been awake this whole time, she’s now unconscious ‘for the pain’ and Penny who is A POWERFUL TELEPATH can’t be bothered to pop in her head and ask what she wants under those circumstances.

no, he makes her decision FOR her. This is important, we’ll get back to this.

Penny has been chasing Julia(’s tail) around all season now. He’s been a part of her path to godhood this whole time, knows what she’s done to try to get it, so when forced to make a permanent choice for her

THIS

DICKHEAD

CHOOSES TO MAKE HER HUMAN. Against EVERYTHING he’s seen of her up until this point, and against whatever he knew of his Julia. Why? “I was selfish” WELL THANK YOU, MISTER “I JUST WANNA GET LAID” FOR AT LEAST ADMITTING YOU ROBBED A WOMAN OF SOMETHING SO UNBELIEVABLY SIGNIFICANT AND IMPORTANT AND LITERALLY LEFT HER WITHOUT MAGIC BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO STICK IT IN.

That’s right. Fandom’s all mad that Quentin died and they glorified suicide? Yeah, they just stripped away ALL AGENCY from a woman and made a choice for her that he KNEW she didn’t want just because it would be more convenient for him. Just violate the trust and remove the agency of the woman you already raped on screen once, show. Seems smart. Plus, now she does nothing for the rest of the episode and gets unfairly saddled with the guilt of Q’s demise because you just had to hamfist in his death.

ohoho but it doesn’t end there, no.

Penny, a man, takes away everything Julia earned HERSELF and locks away her path back to godhood (despite book Julia staying a goddess and becoming a Dryad) and then leaves her helpless and pointless sitting at home hoping everyone does okay, wrestling with her new existential crisis of being a weak, magicless human after all she did to get magic in the first place...and then Quentin dies, and because she’s so sad about him, suddenly she can do magic again! Weird internal consistency there considering how little is present in s4.

So Julia goes from a self-made woman, whose primary connections outside of her childhood friend are other women, to a woman whose whole life is now dictated by men. Important choices are made for her, she is passive in a crisis about her friends, and then her breakthrough to regain magic is...because of a man.

(BTW Kady also breaks down and decides she’s all about Penny, even though she’s kind of already worked through this last year and had plenty of other stuff to do this season)

And since I’m talking about consistency, let’s glance at THAT can of worms, shall we?

First and foremost: the High King of Fillory shouldn’t be able to leave Fillory. Remember when that was a huge plot point that caused great angst for Eliot in season 2? And how it only stopped because magic went away so the spells involved no longer worked?

Let’s assume Margot was grandfathered out into the normal world, and further assume that an election still makes her High King, not Eliot. As soon as Ember’s Emanation snapped her back into Fillory, she shouldn’t have been able to leave until MAYBE she was ‘overthrown’ (which might have given a REASON for her to be overthrown, if her location on earth mattered)

Yet that’s not a concern at all. Margot also doesn’t really bother to rule much so. sucks. but whatever. Clearly they just wanted King Fen here. (Again, ‘king’, because ‘queen’ is weak somehow. ew girls.)

Eliot. How do you mess up Eliot when he’s in like three episodes and barely in two of those? I don’t know but they did it.

Here’s the problem with his ‘darkest memory’ thing. It’s not that Eliot might have feelings for Q, this surprises NO ONE, it’s everything else about it.

First. Puzzle Quentin marries PEACH GIRL. He’s not married to Eliot, they just share an extremely deep bond. It’s pretty much explicitly nonromantic though, given that Quentin marries and breeds with some girl he never mentions nor appears to mourn again. He’s hit with a lifetime of feelings, and instead of thinking “I had a wife...and a child...what happened to my child?” he thinks “Gee, I should hook up with Eliot even though I’m bicurious at best.”

This. This is while he is self-professed to be in love with Alice, around the time of his fling with Poppy, and again, right after finding out he was married, widowed, and a father. This is when the writers decided to stage “Once, Quentin wanted to marry Eliot.” It just makes Quentin look fickle, unfaithful, and frankly some kind of addicted to relationships, like he’s terrified of not being in one.

But it’s also? Not a good look for Eliot. Because this season basically MOCKS his marriage to Fen. He’s shown to be affectionate to her, she is in the trio of the people that he loves (Margot, Quentin, and Fen) who he summons to protect him, but very very very little is spoken or suggested by him to be missing her or wanting to see her again, and more importantly, it doesn’t ring true for him to be ‘afraid of commitment’ or whatever it is he was suggesting by rejecting Q here.

Why? Because he already did this arc. Season 2 is all about him accepting his role of King (which they take away because lol) and more importantly, his marriage to Fen. He has to learn to accept monogamy and actually build feelings for Fen, eventually starting a family with her - that is tragically ripped from him by the Fairies. He then spends s3 with Fen as his wife and with a fake daughter, adventuring and questing and crap, and during the time the scene is set very clearly fine with commitment, as he’s actually in love with Fen at this point and not running away from the marriage. During this time he’s also totally cool with marrying another king for peace because he likes that guy, but I guess we should forget him because...I don’t know? He’s black, maybe?

By the way, he mentions how he ‘has sex with people’s boyfriends’ and shows the scene of his doppel getting it on with someone who has a boyfriend and ignores that he is actively cheating on Fen while he is doing this.

And the show makes fun of Fen mourning the death of her husband, and also implies something like Fen maybe didn’t really love him because she didn’t see herself as a person and was only raised ‘for the high king’ (nevermind she used to be a FU Fighter, they forgot), and that she’s dealt with losing her child TWICE now. Nah, she’s mostly for laughs because DAGGERS.

This is all done just to diminish Eliot/Fen so they can pretend Quentin was in a triangle with Eliot and Alice literally just to make it more sad when he dies unbelievably pointlessly.

Gosh.

Am I forgetting anything? Hm.

The library plot was garbage, but that ties into the dumpsterfire of s3 finale.

Oh yes. Isn’t it great when Marina is just a repeated trope forever? Ah, yes. Me too. I love when characters are super flanderized instead of being allowed to grow and change. All characters in Magicians basically just need to spin their wheels and retrace steps over and over until they die.

Ah yes.

Quentin, thy name is hypocrisy. You’ve been abusive to Alice for three seasons, and then you have the nerve to freak out at her over the keys? Sure it was a dick move, but honestly this only happened because you kept abusing Alice and manipulating her into loving you over and over. Because you’re a dick.

And let’s close out on that, I think, not on a bizarre rendition of Take on Me.

Alice, ex-Niffin, smartest and most talented and most capable mage they know, does not get any say when Quentin stupidly kills himself (by the way he only dies because for reasons known only to the writers he STOPS running and just stands there until he dies). She doesn’t throw the thing in WITH Quentin stopping the crisis before it happens (why were they moving so slowly when there was such a short timeframe? Just LOB EM IN, MAN! Alternatively wtf was the library still forcibly shorting people when there was a universal crisis and Zelda KNEW IT?)

Nope.

Our girl power season ends like this:

Julia loses her agency and has her life defined by the two main men in her life

Alice has no agency in how things play out in the mirror and has her life defined by the two (same) men in her life

Margot is told to ‘go cry outside or something’, and has fallen in love with a random white dude because she banged him once rather than literally let him die. This is character development, because none of the other relationships she’s ever had matter or affected her because they weren’t a romance.

Kady decides to define her life around the (dead) man in her life, until the other man in her life makes her realize he needs her still.

Fen is overthrown by some man offscreen

Zelda refuses to own up to the Library’s problems and try to fix them herself, and instead decides she’s going to pick someone else to do it for her. Also arguably she just sat back and let two men decide how the world would play out.

But it’s okay, guys. The Magicians is very subversive and not like other shows. The white cishet men aren’t main characters, and they proved that because Quentin died, and that’s WAY more subversive than the books, where everyone gets stories and endings that ACTUALLY MAKE SENSE FOR THEM and Quentin actually gets to eventually be happy.

But it’s not a suicide, because Quentin’s friends love him and therefore he had a good thing going, and Quentin has never ever missed or thrown away a good thing before.

Remember guys

it’s really realistic, because ANYONE CAN DIE IN REAL LIFE GUYS

OH MY LORD JUST GIVE US THE EMMY AND TELL US WE’RE PROGRESSIVE, PLEASE. WE’RE ALMOST THERE!

That’s season 4 of Magicians.

It’s bad.

#the magicians #the magicians season 4 #magicians season 4 #magicians spoilers #magicians season finale #ooc #long post #spoilers #rant #can't list the characters because it mentions them all

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itsclydebitches · 6 years

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RWBY Recaps: Vol. 5 "Lighting the Fire"

This is a re-posting from Nov. 4th, 2017 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

I would like to begin this review by extending a heartfelt apology to Yang Xiao Long. I should have never doubted her.

A few posts ago I mentioned how surprised I was that Yang would choose her Mom over Ruby, especially given her character short on top of an already single-minded personality. If there’s one thing that can be truly said to define Yang, it’s the love and protective streak she has for her sister. So I was thrilled at the reveal that this whole trip was essentially a strategic smokescreen. As Yang puts it bluntly: “I’m not here for you.” She’s always been heading towards Ruby. The only reason Yang is making this emotional pit-stop is because Raven can save her time.

We’ve known since the train that Raven can open portals, but until now it’s been up in the air whether that’s her semblance, something extra (like Qrow’s morphing ability), something that was bestowed on her, etc. Well, it turns out that first time’s the charm. Raven’s semblance allows her to bond to certain people—Yang, Tai, and Qrow—and form portals to their immediate location. Pretty nifty when you think about it, especially since Yang knows Qrow will have found Ruby by now. If she gets to Qrow, she gets to her sis. Except for the fact that Qrow is off looking for more huntsmen. Potential problem?) Still it’s a wonderful twist, especially since RWBY already has enough character arcs about kids trying to reconcile with their abusers. Given Yang’s headstrong nature, it just didn’t feel right for her to try and bond with a long-absent mom. Demand a favor though because “nothing is going to keep me from my sister”? Yeah. That’s Yang.

Not to say she hasn’t changed, of course. Though many are still uncomfortable with the way her PTSD is being written, I’m glad to see that this persistent shaking remains. Obviously not glad in the sense of, “Yay kids suffering!” but glad that we’re given acknowledgment that trauma has lasting effects and Yang will need to continue to work at her new life and against her new fears—things aren’t solved through one good crying session. We get to see her in a real fight for the first time since Beacon and, as many guessed, her new arm is outfitted with a gun to balance out the other half of Ember Celica, doubling as a decent shield in a pinch. It’s also notable that Yang’s style has changed a bit. Her movements are more controlled; graceful even, more like Weiss’ (and isn’t that something given the end of the episode). In short, Yang’s hand-to-hand has become more measured, as opposed to the ‘charge and hit as hard as you can’ technique that we saw pre-Volume 3. It makes sense, given that the last time Yang rushed in without thoroughly evaluating her opponent she lost that arm. Even her conversation is a little cooler. “Good to know, thanks.” This is a Yang that retains her confidence, but with less of the arrogant taunts. She’s growing up and though much of that growth stems from trauma, it’s still lovely to see.

Back in Haven training has begun. Ruby is… really not good at hand-to-hand. But she’s improving! This whole sequence is a study in excellent facial expressions, as two kids—both of whom are uncomfortable with this situation—attempt to beat each other up the old-fashioned way. The animation moves smoothly from comic fear to stubborn determination. Oscar actually manages to land a punch that knocks Ruby down and I laughed aloud at his frantic apology. He shouldn’t have lost focus. Ruby comes back with a swing of her own seconds later.

However, as usual there are significant details paired alongside these humorous scenes. After Oscar takes his hit Ozpin asks, “Mind if I give it a shot?” and immediately takes control. This is interesting, given that just last episode (only a day earlier?) Oscar had to focus and deliberately give up control to Ozpin. It took time. Now we don’t even get to see whether Oscar agrees to the switch—Ozpin is already there.

Now yes, they’re eventually meant to merge into one person, or at least share this body in a way reminiscent of that. That’s presumably the end goal (unless Shannon McCormick’s recent comments hint at something we don’t know yet). However, the fact that we see Ozpin’s power over Oscar in the same episode that Raven drops her cryptic comments brings back the theory that Ozpin isn’t quite as benevolent as we’d like to believe. The only true evidence for that (given his actual kind nature and the fact that Raven herself definitely can’t be trusted) is because that’s just how these stories go. Oh, I have no doubt that he’s doing things for “the right reasons,” but like Dumbledore and Gandalf before him, Ozpin’s quest to do what’s right for the world no doubt involves a great deal of sacrifice, complicating the morality there. If Raven considers Ruby a “lost cause” for so much as associating with Ozpin, that’s a pretty heavy implication--if we choose to believe her--that anyone near him will get chewed up and spit out by this war, regardless of what Ozpin might do to try and stop it. AKA, Pyrrha. Casualties are inevitable. (In fact, there’s a lot of potential similarities here between the corners Ozpin is backed into and Qrow’s semblance. For both, everyone around them suffers, regardless of intent). Ozpin’s screen-time this season has been just a little too lighthearted and his persona just a little too grandfatherly. I’m waiting for when these complications come back up and bite everyone on the ass, reminding them that they’re in the middle of a war.

Anyone who spends five minutes with me in the RWBY fandom knows that Ozpin is my favorite and I’d like nothing more than for him to remain the wise, kindly headmaster figure indefinitely. I want him alongside Team RWBY to the very end. However, I wouldn’t be at all surprised if Raven drops some very uncomfortable information about him next episode, the “truth” that she insists Yang and Weiss don’t know about yet. She could be referring to Ozpin’s cursed nature, but Raven has already admitted that she was once in his employ and can clearly never go back to that, so I suspect there’s far more to her discomfort than just a little reincarnation. Whether we believe her—whether that will be enough to turn the audience against Ozpin even more than they already are, especially when it’s coming from someone like Raven—we’ll have to wait and see. And no doubt all of this will tie back to Raven’s work in securing the Spring Maiden.

The implications of all this are still at least a week off though. For now the training session remains as happy as possible when you’re preparing to take down your world’s embodiment of evil. Ren has a lovely moment where he explains various theories on semblances: how they might be a reflection of your personality, or vice versa, or have no true connection to who you are at all. So basically... semblances could be anything. The magic structure keeps getting flimsier as time goes on. Regardless, Ruby confirms a long-held belief that her semblance came out during training one day (with Qrow?) and Nora was… struck by lightning. And survived. Good god this girl’s life is horrifying.

The big question then is: What is Jaune’s semblance? And what is Oscar’s? It honestly never occurred to me that he’d have a semblance of his own to unlock, rather than just inheriting something from Ozpin. In fact, what’s Ozpin’s semblance? Does he still have one? Or was it lost long ago after his first merge? I'd like to think that he has at least two at all times: his original semblance (or magic, perhaps) and whatever his host is capable of. I'd actually be interested in seeing an Ozpin who retains the semblances of every person he's merged with, but given that Cinder managed to kill him, I doubt we'll be seeing that kind of power. I suppose time manipulation is still a possibility given how that fight was animated, but again, I think we’d have already heard about such a powerful ability if that card was on the table. It's certainly not the curse itself… that was forced onto Ozpin by the Gods. So maybe—just maybe—Volume 5 will give us three semblance reveals instead of just one. And Ozpin’s comment that there are heights to achieve beyond just unlocking your semblance opens doors for power-ups within our main cast.

This is actually a lot packed into the shortest episode of the Volume thus far and if you thought we were finished…

Weiss: “Your mom kidnapped me?”

Yang: “YOU KIDNAPPED HER?”

I nominate this as one of RWBY’s greatest moments. I honestly couldn’t have asked for more from their reunion. Harking back to last week’s episode, Weiss demonstrates that she really doesn’t need anyone to save her. Yes, she was still in that cage, but only because she was going for subtly and strategy over a brute-force escape plan. (Remember, that’s Yang’s territory.) When she sees that Yang is somehow here that plan goes straight out the window. One knight at full strength and Weiss has busted out of her prison, running to back up Yang in a very outnumbered fight.

RT knows when to cut things back though and reminding everyone that, ahem, the Grimm are still a formidable enemy was a smart move. Raven might not have any qualms about fighting family, but she won’t let that anger draw a whole horde of Grimm to her camp. She gives Myrtenaster back to Weiss and invites them inside for that talk.

But first we have this.

I love that Weiss hugged first. I love that she freely abandons Myrtenaster in hostile territory to do so. She never would have done that a year ago. They’ve been through so much though and the fact that she can freely say how much she missed Yang says heaps about her character development.

It’s a beautiful shot to end the episode on. And if you listen closely, there’s the sound of Freezerburn shippers sobbing happily in the distance…

Other Details of Note

Raven’s bandit sitting waaaaay far back on Yang’s motorbike. Bet you ten lien he tried to wrap his arms around her waist and got another punch for his trouble.

The click of gears we hear as Yang stretches her arms. Nice touch there.

“I’m her daughter, after all.” There’s some of the taunting Yang we know and love.

Can’t say I was a fan of the music during the RJNR-Ozpin-Oscar chat scene. It felt… sitcom-ish? That’s not quite right, but too upbeat and noticeable for the moment. I shouldn’t be distracted from the conversation by whatever the music is doing.

I found Raven’s first greeting to Yang creepy in the extreme. You’re so strong and patient, doing everything you can to make your dream a reality. Talk about trying to butter someone up when you don’t actually know anything about that person. Raven’s attempts at welcoming Yang ring so false that it just hits home how estranged they are.

We've had a lot of 'crane shots' (for lack of a better word) this Volume: during Salem's conversation with Lionheart, before Sienna's assassination, now as Yang confronts her mother. I'm not sure what exactly to make of this yet, only that it's been a frequent technique the last few episodes and has definitely caught my attention.

#rwby #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

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ezilyamuzed · 6 years

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There’s no place like home -part 7

Summary: The reader has had a unique gift all her life. While considering it a curse, she discovers the identity of her real father after her mothers passing. Journeying towards her new life, she finds herself thrown within the Winchester’s world. Is it her destiny?

Setting: End of season 13. This takes place after episode 13.18

Warnings: Language. Angst. Flashback are italicized. POV may switch after certain sections.

A/N: Revelations are about to happen for more than one person...

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

It was nearing late afternoon when Dean found himself at your door, holding a large pizza, anxious about what he was going to say when he saw your face again. When he had told Sam that he was going to check in on you, Sam was about to protest the idea but backed down quietly as Cas gave him an approving nod. It was what Dean needed. Still, at this moment on your front porch, he felt all of his courage slowly disappearing again and his nerves pulsating through him.

“Dude, are you going to knock or what?” Sam asked while balancing the case of beer they had grabbed from the liquor store on the way. An icebreaker. A home welcoming gift Dean referred to as a necessity. He was going to need a few to get through this.

Sam grunted and sat the beer down in front of him. “Jesus I’ll do it,” he growled while pushing the buzzer next to the door twice, noting that there was music blaring on the other side. It took a minute after the music stopped for the door to open, revealing Y/N with her face beet red with little beads of sweat pouring around the outline of her face.

She didn’t see Dean at first when she questioned him in bafflement. “Sam. What are you doing here?” Dean moved more towards the doorway for her gaze to meet his. “Dean…”

“Hiya Doc,” he smiled.

“What the hell are you two doing here?” she demanded while rubbing away her perspiration from her face. She was a mess, but a beautiful mess. Her hair was tossed up in an unkempt bun on the top of her head, wearing a little color faded tank top and tiny cotton shorts.

“We thought we would just check up in on you, see how you were doing with the big move,” Sam replied with a smile, obviously lying to cover for Dean’s true motives.

“How the heck did you even find me?”

“We have our ways sweetheart. We are hunters,” Dean grinned.

She huffed quietly while rolling her eyes. “So are you going to let us in? We brought peace offerings.” Dean held up the pizza in his hands while Sam picked up the case of beer again.

“You guys aren’t really housebroken,” she said while crossing her arms with a sassy glare in her eyes.

“Don’t worry about me sweetheart,” Dean said while pushing forward to her slowly until her face was inches from his. “He’s the one who is the moose.”

Sam grumbled at his brother’s comment and followed his lead inside while Y/N stepped back shaking her head with a small smirk on her lips.

“So you are busy unpacking huh?” Sam asked while looking around at the boxes overtaking the house.

“Yeah, Sam, the glorious part about moving anywhere, figuring out you have a hoarding problem,” she replied while grabbing the pizza from Dean’s hands and walking forward to a kitchen island.

“Do you want some help?” Sam inquired while she was busy opening the box and shoving a slice in her mouth. Dean and Y/N both looked at him like he had just asked an insane question. “I mean, we are here…nothing better to do, right Dean?”

“Right Sammy,” he said while reaching into the box for a slice. Y/N scarfed down her slice quickly and quietly in his peripheral vision. He smiled at her appreciation of his gift, even if she didn’t say it. She would never have to.

“You’re not in the middle of another apocalypse?” she said while looking around at the unopened boxes invading the house.

Dean almost choked on the bite of pizza he had just taken. He looked at Sam sheepishly while muttering. “No…not at all.”

“I’m fine, really,” she replied quickly. “I can do it myself.”

“Well, you’re not going to,” Dean stated assertively. “Sam and I are yours for the day.”

The three of them dug into the pizza, Y/N and Dean dominating at least ¾ of it. Y/N had noticed that Sam wasn’t eating very much when she asked if he needed anything or would like something else. She opened up the fridge to reveal freshly bought vegetables and sliced fruit. Sam kindly accepted grabbing a ripe pear.

“You eat that rabbit food?” Dean asked while popping off the top of his beer.

She rolled her eyes while grabbing a beer of her own, “Well you can’t live off of grease forever.”

“I do just fine,” he said with a shrug.

“Uh huh,” she said while taking a gulp of her beer.

“So where exactly do you want us to start,” Sam chimed in while throwing away his core.

“You see those boxes over there in the corner,” she said motioning to a stack that contained at least 20 boxes, from what Dean could tell. “They are books that I need set up on the built-in shelves in the living room. The shelves are a little too tall, and I am getting tired of going up and down a step ladder.”

Sam smiled, moving to see the 8-foot high shelving in the other room, saying “no problem,” while happily walking over to them. Dean moaned a little that he was once again going to be surrounded by books, at least this time he wasn’t going to have to spend hours reading over the pages. Y/N caught on to his disappointment with the task.

“Not your style there Winchester?” she asked while tilting her head and raising an eyebrow. Her full lips pursing together.

He laughed at the first thought that had come into his mind. “No darlin’, I’d rather help you put away the lingerie,” he said with a devilish smirk.

“That is someplace you will never see Winchester,” she growled.

“Funny,” he whispered into her ear. “I’ve heard that one before…”

He flashed her a quick smile and wink before joining his brother. He rubbed his face quickly to settle himself down again so Sam didn’t suspect anything between the two of you. This was going to be an interesting night.

______________________________________________________

When you had woken up you laid in bed for an hour just thinking of everything that had led you here. Your mom passing, the search for your real father, and the meeting of the two men whom you swore you would hate if you had ever met them. Instead, you were finding yourself wanting to know them. To know more, and allowing Dean to know you in the most intimate way possible. As you stretched along the length of your bed you winced again at the still throbbing pain in your backside that Dean left you with two nights ago.

“Jesus, he really is a pain in my ass,” you said as you rubbed the area gently and got yourself up for the day.

Going into town you were able to find a simple farmers market that reminded you of home. Your mom would be growing herbs and vegetables in her garden, giving them to the neighborhood. You bought at least one of everything because you just couldn’t decide what looked more appetizing. When you arrived back at your home, the sight of the all the unpacked boxes made you sigh aloud. This was one of the rare times that you wished you had someone else around, someone to help you go through all the memories that were bound to hit you as you placed them all away.

While eating some of the sweet melon you had just purchased, you decided to pull out your laptop and read a little bit more of Chuck’s stories of Sam and Dean. Randomly picking one from the list, you sat going through the pages. Revelations coming to you as you scrolled through. The Roadhouse. Ellen, Jo, and Ash. You shook your head as it dawned on you that the Winchester’s were the ones they had told you about, feeling the tears forming in your eyes at their fates that you had already known.

You pushed the laptop away from you and quickly went through some of the boxes like a crazy person. Where was it? You needed to find it. Pulling out an old photo album of Polaroid’s, there it was. A letter from Ash that had remained sealed for over a decade. You quickly tore it open to read it, the tears now flowing.

Doc, Something big is happening. I don’t know if this will get to you before it’s too late. If you run into trouble find Sam and Dean Winchester. They can help. Take care of yourself, I know you will. -Ash-

“Goddammit Ash,” you whispered. The letter came too late. Ellen had already called you the day before it arrived. When you saw it in your mailbox, you couldn’t bring yourself to open it. One of the only people that you had ever considered a friend was gone and there was nothing you could do to bring him back. Sam and Dean were the reason he was gone.

Anger at yourself and the whole damn situation consumed you as you turned on the radio and blasted the music until you could no longer hear your thoughts. You went to work on what you had to do, putting the past behind you by setting up your future in front of you. Trying to put all the Winchesters behind you once and for all, but they still lingered in your mind.

“God damn Winchesters,” you gritted. They were still under your skin. The years of hatred towards their names mixed with the guilt of harshly judging their actions that you would have probably done too if you were in their situations. They had your friend killed. No, it was demons who did it. The demons came because of them, though.

The internal battle of thoughts filled you with adrenaline, as you tore through the boxes in front of you, almost throwing them around in rage when you heard the doorbell ring twice knocking you out of your battle within yourself. When you saw it was Sam standing there you were ready to shut the door, but when Dean appeared your body wouldn’t let you especially when you saw they came bearing gifts. God damn Winchesters.

Minimal conversation while you got to stuff your face with grease helped you to calm down the anger fueling you since the morning. The beer was an added helper. Dammit if Sam wasn’t trying to be a freakin sweetheart to you, making you feel even guiltier about everything that had filled your thoughts. Dean, however, you were keeping your guard up around. That damn smile. Those damn lips. If you weren’t careful you were going to find yourself tangled in the sheets again, even furthering the complexity of this fucked up situation. The boys went to work on stacking the books on the shelf, Dean grabbing a bunch and shoving them in quickly, while Sam meticulously organized them by subject. You were busy unpacking the various pictures frames, hanging a few in their perfect spots.

“How many damn books do you have woman?” Dean exclaimed while opening yet another box full.

You let a little giggle out in response to his frustration. “Oh, there’s more.”

“Where did you get all of these,” Sam asked while looking at two worn down leather books in his hands.

“Some I acquired through my travels,” you said with a shrug. “Some were my mom’s.”

“History professor right?” he asked while reading a cover in his hand.

“She had some other interests too,” you said while noting he was holding a book on Greek mythological creatures.

“Did she hunt?”

You gave a little chuckle. “Oh God, no. She hated it. We would fight about it all the time.”

“How did she handle your whole seeing things,” Dean chimed in. “The lights or whatever they are.”

“She didn’t really deny them,” you said while looking down at a framed picture from your childhood laying in the box, your mother pushing you on a swing. “She just…we never talked about them.”

Sam walked over towards you as you stared off at the picture, the memories flooding of you asking questions and her changing subjects so frequently that you just stopped trying to find a reason anymore.

“Is that her?” he asked while picking up the frame.

“Yeah,” you softly said while your eyes began to welt up. You let out a puff of air and walked away to the kitchen to grab another beer while yelling at your emotions.

Sam watched you sympathetically before putting the frame back down in the box. The picture that was tucked underneath it, stopped him in his tracks while his eyes focused in on it. He slowly picked it up, while placing the other one down. His eyebrows scrunching together as he examined it carefully until he whistled over to Dean to catch his attention. Dean came over and looked down at what laid in his brother’s hands until his eyes widened at the sight.

_________________________________________________________

Sam could tell that something was off with Y/N, she was more guarded today like she was when they had first met. He couldn’t help but to wonder what exactly happened between her and Dean to change everything again. Dean was a nervous wreck, which was so uncharacteristic of him. Sam knew that this trip had meant something to him, so he tried his best to make it as normal and casual as possible to ease the tension.

Y/N really was an interesting person. He couldn’t help but to smile at her noting that greasy pizza wasn’t really his thing. She sweetly offered something more nutritious, which he greatly appreciated. His brother of course hiding behind offhanded comments and sarcasm, which made Sam interject quickly so she didn’t want to kick them out. Although his brother would surely make fun of him for it, he actually enjoyed putting away the books. The smell of the worn pages and the soft worn leather covers made him appreciate that there was someone else who cherished the knowledge written amongst the pages.

He was only trying to share that he cared and was generally interested in getting to know Y/N, while Dean stayed silently working when her mood shifted towards the box she had opened. He had hit a nerve. His gut instinct told him to console her, but she walked away before he had the chance to say another word. In his hands was a smiling girl, not any older than probably 6 on a swing with the wind blowing in her y/h/c hair, a woman probably in her late 20’s happily watching her from behind. A typical normal family photo that Sam had seen on others walls that would never be on his own. He tried to shake the feeling of sadness that was bubbling inside when he had seen it. A mahogany frame that had held a simple landscaped photo with scribbling on it seemed oddly familiar. After getting Dean’s attention to it the familiarity dawned on them. It was the bunker. In his hands was a scene that he had experienced every day that he walked outside it’s doors.

“There’s no place like home,” he breathed.

“What was that,” Y/N asked while walking back to them.

“The picture here,” he said holding it up for her to see. “Where did you get this?”

“It was my mom’s,” she said while grabbing it from his hands. “Well, I guess actually my grandfathers. He had given it to her when she was little.”

Sam looked over at his brother as he took a deep breath, making his chest raise while trying to figure out what to say next. Dean had taken the hint as he nodded and looked over to Y/N with concern in his eyes.

“Y/N, what do you know about the men of letters?”

You gave him a look of confusion while quietly saying “what?”

“The men of letters, ever heard of them?” Dean asked again.

“Once, a few years ago some people came by and had mentioned the name,” she said while placing the frame on a small end table. “Why?”

_____________________________________________________

Midterm time and you desperately wanted a drink as you worked through grading the nonsense that laid in front of you. Most of the essays obviously based off of Wikipedia or even worse, old Ghostfacer blogs. A knock on your door was a heavenly relief to push them to the side before you wanted to set them on fire, rather than finishing grading them.

“Can I help you?” you asked to the older gentleman in a suit and a blonde woman in casual clothing that hovered in the doorway of your office. Her light was a little dimmer than most people, which was an oddity to you.

“Ah yes, Dr. Y/L/N. I am was looking for you mother, Professor Y/L/N,” the man spoke with a British accent.

“I’m sorry, she has retired,” you told them while sitting back into your seat. “What can I help you with?”

“Well my name is Arthur Ketch,” he said while seating himself. “This is my associate Mary…”

“Campbell,” she stated while interrupting him and seating herself in the open chair across from you.

“Nice to meet you both,” you said with a polite tightlipped smile. “Now what was it again you were looking for?”

You watched as they glanced at each other. Mary looked like she was a bit nervous at the situation as you watched her swallow hard. Arthur just cleared his throat loudly before he shifted in his seat and began talking.

“We were looking for information on former members of a private organization,” he replied casually.

“Well she is a member of the local country club,” you chuckled.

“No, I suppose the information we were looking for relates to your grandfather and his possible involvement,” he quipped with seriousness in his eyes.

“I don’t think my mother would know too much about anything like that,” you said while furrowing your eyebrows. “He died when she was 3”

Mary spoke up while looking at a picture behind you. “In 1958?”

You looked to what she was staring at behind you, only to turn back to her in confusion to how she could possibly know.

“Yes,” you stammered.

“She never said anything about the men of letters?” she asked with intensity.

“No, I…who are they?”

“Mary,” Arthur interjected, “I do believe we have wasted the doctor’s time long enough.” He reached for her arm pulling her up with him. “It was lovely meeting you doctor,” he smiled while heading at the door.

Mary started to the door behind him, and looked solemnly back to you before walking out.

“Take care Y/N.”

Keep reading- Part 8 Here

Tags:

@jaylarkson @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @iamabeautifulperson18 @19agbrown

#theresnoplacelikehome #dean winchester #sam winchester #mary winchester #arthur ketch #ash #jo harvelle #ellen harvelle #dean x sam x reader #spn #supernatural #spn fanfic #fanfic

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recentanimenews · 2 years

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Princess Connect! Re:Dive – S2 12 (Fin) – Gochisousama

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I love the battle music in PriConne not just because it’s tremendous in its own right, but reminds me of other great battle themes, like this one from early in Final Fantasy XIII-2, which gets me in the mood to write about this fantastic finale.

The final feast of PriConne 2 is a sumptuous multi-course smorgasbord comprised of myriad shapes, sizes and colors. Yuuki not only powers up Pecorine, but everyone, and the townsfolk rally for the sake of their princess. Kaiser is wrong; they’re not useless in just being able to yell. It’s because of them Peco and the others are able to fight and break through.

When Kaiser decides “screw it, I’m going to destroy this cursed world”, she brings up her two aces in the hole, Neneka and Labyrista, whose minds she’s overthrown. But their combined attack (which resembles the bankai Senbonzakura Kageyoshi) is blocked and nullified…by a reinvigorated Karyl, choosing the right side and sticking with it.

As the battle progresses, Kaiser (AKA Mana) longs to be reunited with someone named “Minerva”, without whom she’s endured crushing loneliness for countless time loops. Yuuki is able to release Kaiser’s hold on Labyrista’s avatar, and Labyrista quickly releases Neneka. Having lost her two most powerful weapons, Kaiser doubles down on her recklessness by letting the shadows envelop and overthrow her.

As final bosses tend to do, this turns her into a colossal slime monster, but thanks to the other guilds showing up to support them, the Gourmet Guild are able to leap inside the mass of goo, and Yuuki, Kokkoro and Pecorine are able to clear the way for Karyl to reach her majesty and try to save her.

In a gray morose world on the brink of destruction, Karyl, Kaiser’s Princess Knight, won’t let her body and soul vanish into the abyss. Even when the structure around them crumbles, Karyl doesn’t let go, and even though geting her there mortally wounded Yuuki, he chooses to go back and reach out to Karyl, pulling both her and Kaiser out of sure oblivion and back into the world.

The townsfolk rejoice as the Gourmet Guild emerge unharmed and victorious. Kaiser, either no longer a threat or unwilling to fight any further, accepts her loss and is arrested. Her spell on Peco’s parents is lifted, and they remember their daughter and embrace her.

Her friends look on with full hearts as she weeps buckets of tears of joy into the bosom of her mother the queen. And then she takes her rightful place back at Landosol Castle, addressing her adoring people.

Back at the Gourmet Guild, Karyl is the new chef, and assures the others that her meal might not look like much but it tastes great. Yuuki and Kokkoro praise her, but Kokkoro makes the mistake of serving tea to their fourth member, and all three of them suddenly feel her absence.

That is, until they hear her voice and see her in the doorway. While she’s glad her parents remember her and she’s a princess again, she still has a long way to go before she’s ready to rule the kingdom she just took back. So she re-joins Gourmet Guild as Pecorine, primed to go on a lot more adventures and gain the experience she’ll need once she comes into her throne.

This was a breathless banger from start to finish; an episode with a whole lot to do that managed to pull it off with a brilliant flourish before returning to the warm and peaceful Gourmet Guild house. It’s pretty much exactly what I was hoping for in a finale…I just wish we could spend a little more quiet time with the guild now that there are no more secrets or divided loyalties…just food, fun, and family!

P.S. While it’s a totally different an much older game, I feel compelled to end this write-up with one of my favorite victory themes, from Star Ocean: Till the End of Time:

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By: magicalchurlsukui

#Anime #News #RABUJOI – An Anime Blog

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wordsaremyenemy · 7 years

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Hubcaps & Ashtrays [Loki X Reader] Part 1

Pairing: Loki x Reader Prompt: “The thing is, I wasn’t pretending." Word count: 2,300+ Summary: (Fake Boyfriend AU) You’re a school teacher, eighth grade ELA in fact. School isn’t even in session yet and you already want to rip your hair out. Good news, it’s right before Labor Day and there’s a four day weekend before school starts. Which means plenty of time to finish that pain-in-the-ass lesson plan that’s being avoided. Bad news, your family’s annual reunion is this weekend. Opting out really isn’t an option. Aunt Dot is turning 89 this year and even though it’s not 90 it’s still a big deal.

There’s no time to vet a decent guy before bringing him home, so looks like you’re going stag. Again. Which means Mom and all of your aunts are going to make damn sure that your love life is going to be center stage all weekend. Although, a night with friends might have the answer to all your problems in the form of Hallmark movies. A/N: Okay... so.... this is my entry to @justsomebucky‘s (to whom I apologize for taking so long, please don’t eat me) writing challenge from like months ago. Retail + Holiday season = no free time for little old me. Honestly it still isn’t finished, but I’m trying to get my ass in gear and do shit. I honestly shouldn’t even be doing this. I have laundry. And Christmas presents still to make. I have three done out of like twelve. (I’m crocheting and making dreamcatchers. I’m a mess right now.)

I have to give fair warning. This was the shameless self-insert I've been dreaming of. I still don’t think I’ve done it justice though. And though I kept the descriptions of the main character fairly... vague, or at least tried to. The readers aesthetic is very much what I consider my own to be. Meaning "Basic White Female Hipster" meets "Emo Punk Rock Queen." And honestly there's not enough love for punk. The title comes from Sleeping With Sirens’ “The Strays.”

Big thanks to the most amazing woman in the world, who’s read this more times than I have at this point, and very kindly beta-d this for me. I love you, babygirl. Thanks for calling me out on all my shit always. Warnings: Mostly swearing

It all started Monday. You were running late, spilled coffee down the front of your brand-new cardigan, and remembered that you forgot to put deodorant on as you ran out of your Brooklyn apartment, nearly running over your neighbor-slash-best-guy-friend, Bucky. You end up fifteen minutes late to the very first staff meeting of the school year because you’d forgotten which way the conference room was. (It’s in a very peculiar place, okay? You would think it’s by the front office. It’s not. For some reason, it’s on the third floor right next to third-floor teachers' lounge.) At least you got to spend the rest of the day prepping your classroom.

Tuesday wasn’t much better. No big staff meeting, but you did have to meet with the two other eighth grade ELA teachers who were the co-chairs of the English department of the entire school. That was a trip and not in a good way. You’ve been teaching for four-going-on-five years. You knew what you were doing. Mostly. You liked to wing it the first week, get a feel for your students before you set down a structured lesson plan. Not that anyone really did anything that first week anyway.

Apparently, that wasn’t going to fly this year because Mrs. High-and-Mighty Jacobson and Miss I’m-so-much-better-than-you Atterbury insisted that everyone turn in their lesson plans for the first week by Monday. Great.

Wednesday started a little bit better. You remembered deodorant (you did on Tuesday, too; it’s the little victories). You didn’t spill coffee or run down Bucky. You actually had enough time to exchange pleasantries and be reminded to go over for your weekly movie night. There wasn’t a meeting, so it was pure setting up your classroom for the four classes you were teaching this semester. Of course, you agonized over that lesson plan but it was for the first week and you did just find out yesterday and surely it could wait until tomorrow, right?

Around lunch it gets hazy. Your mom texts you and reminds you of the upcoming plans you couldn’t escape that weekend.

It could be Aunt Dot’s last reunion, honey. You wouldn’t want to upset her, would you?

I told you last week, Ma, you text. I’m going.

You should bring that boy you’re always talking about. What’s his name?

You roll your eyes. Dirk. And we broke up months ago. I told you.

The next message comes a few minutes later. You pointedly ignore it and get back to your task at hand. Ironically, it’s also ignoring that lesson plan. Hopefully, there was going to be enough sangria at this weekend-long party to blur out the twenty questions that came with being single in your family.

You’re in the middle of packing for the weekend, jamming to whatever playlist you were last listening to on Spotify. It’s more on the punk side of your music taste than the pop side. There’s a knock at the door, causing you to jump.

“Y/N! Y/N, open up!” Bucky shouts from the other side of the door.

You pad barefoot to the door, clad in blue, fuzzy, penguin pajama pants and an old NYU tee that you definitely did not steal from Bucky a few heartbreaks ago.

“What?” you snap, opening the door in the middle of Buck’s persistent knocking. You’re surprised to find not only Bucky standing in the hall but Steve and Wanda too. Across the hall, Sam and Nat are standing in the doorway to Bucky’s apartment with their arms crossed. “Wait, shit. Is it that time already?”

Wanda grabs you by the arm with a playful smile and roll of the eyes, pulling you across the hall.

“No Vis tonight?” you ask, collapsing face first on the couch. Nat follows and flops down sideways in the armchair. You turn your head to watch Wanda as she answers.

“Vis is still away on business,” she explains with wistful eyes and a shake of her head. She was always like that when Vis was off somewhere that wasn’t wrapped around her.

“At least you have an excuse. I’m walking into this stupid reunion completely single. Again. And my mother is already on my case.”

Sam snorts, perched on the back of the couch by your feet. “Somebody needs a beer.”

“More like an entire bottle of wine,” Nat teases.

Bucky sighs from the kitchen, where he’s the sole person making pizza. “None of you are in here helping me make this pizza so I don’t want to hear anything from any of you if you don’t get something you like.”

That gets everyone up and around the island.

An hour later, everyone’s content and full of pizza. Even Steve, who always seems to be eating, has pushed his paper plate to the other side of the coffee table. Everyone’s gotten into their prime movie watching positions.

Nat is sitting sideways in the reclined armchair, bowl of popcorn sitting where her feet should go. Wanda’s on her stomach on the floor in front of her. Sam’s sitting on the end of the couch closest to them. Bucky’s on the chaise side of the couch; a picturesque view of relaxation. You’re in-between them, your head on Bucky’s lap, feet under Sam’s leg. Steve’s on the floor, between the couch and coffee table, leaning into the junction where your seat met Bucky’s.

They’re thirty minutes into the sixth episode of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 reboot, adding their own commentary to that of Jonah and his robot friends.

“So, whatever happened to that guy you went out with? The one that took you on a date to the opera?” Sam asks. "Why don't you just ask him to be your date? People do it all the time for weddings."

You make a face that doesn’t last long because Bucky’s doing that thing where he plays with your hair and make you fell all warm and cozy inside.

“Wasn’t her type,” he replies for you. He’d heard all about the disaster that was that date. Just like he’d heard all about the ones before it, too. From the day you moved in across the hall, you and Bucky had been inseparable. He was your best friend. Hardly a day went by that two of you didn't share your daily torments with each other.

It was actually Natasha you’ve known the longest. She’d been your roommate when you first started at NYU. It was rough at first. You were the furthest from a city girl, having grown up in farming community, but it was under Nat’s wing that you grew to love the city.

You’d met Steve shortly after, literally running into him one day as he was on his way to class. Turned out he was in one of your Education classes. You’d just never paid attention.

Funnily enough, Steve really made your connection to everyone else in the room. It was Steve who found you the job at the school he was teaching at. He’d graduated the year before, miraculously found a job, and was already the students’ favorite art teacher.

It was through Steve that you met everyone else, but it was fate that you met Bucky. You'd been looking for a place of your own and he'd happened to know one with affordable rent that wasn't far from work at all. The rest was history.

So, Bucky had heard all about the failed blind date with Loki Laufeyson.

You'd been set up by Nat. After getting tired of hearing about your lack of love life after you'd ended the only serious relationship you'd had since moving to New York, she'd taken it upon herself to set you up with the occasional guy to get you to stop bellyaching. There'd been decent guys. Each one was better that the last, like Natasha was getting better about picking out these guys.

Loki had seemed like exactly your type. Tall, dark-haired, and handsome. Proclivity for the color black.

And, okay, to say it failed...is a little harsh.

It was actually a little bit cool. You dressed up in your best date dress and did your hair nice. Went above and beyond on your makeup. He was actually early picking you up at the agreed upon place. (There was no way you were giving him your address.) He was a gentleman and opened doors, pulled out your seat at dinner.

There was just something about him. The first thing you noticed was his accent. (He was British, which gave you shivers.)

The second was that he was more slick-looking than the guys you usually fall for. More eloquent, too.

Honestly, it wasn't his fault that your heart refused to fully give up your teenage crushes on the likes of Andy Biersack (Mostly now -- Juliet Simms was a lucky woman) or Ronnie Radke (more circa "Situations" from his Escape the Fate days, or maybe even early Falling in Reverse -- though you had to admit, Coming Home was a bomb ass album.)

You just liked musicians. It's a thing. Everyone you've ever seriously dated was in some kind of band.

Loki was hot and he had the looks...but the aesthetic just wasn't there.

Back to the really cool part. The opera.

You legitimately had never been to an opera before. So, you hadn't known what to expect. What you got, however, was a heart wrenching tale in sung Italian. You didn't have to understand what they were saying to understand what was going on. But the story had been amazing. So much better than anything you could've read out of a book.

But there was just no chemistry between the two of you.

Which you'd told Bucky.

What you hadn't told him was there was a second date too.

That one was a little bit better. Loki seemed more relaxed than the time before. Just a button down and slacks compared to the full-on suit and tie this time. You'd gone with a skater dress and Vans instead of the heels from the last time too.

It was just a dinner this time. Not as fancy as the last place, but still expensive. You actually struck up a decent conversation. It was mostly about how you'd both been forced to go on awful date after awful date by friends (or family, in his case). He didn't like disappointing his mother.

By the end of the date, you were sure there wasn't going to be a third. It seemed as though you were wrong originally. Loki looked the part, but in reality, he seemed to be like everyone else before him. There was just something missing.

You're brought out of your head by Nat's annoyed voice.

"I really thought he'd work out too. Have to admit, even I didn't see the opera thing."

"What about Bucky?" Wanda asks. There's a knowing grin on her face like she knows something you don't.

You look up at your best friend to find him smiling like he's holding back laughter.

"Yeah, what about Buck, Y/N? You guys have always been really close," Steve adds.

This time, you do laugh with Bucky joining in. "Do you want to tell them or should I?"

"You can," he says sobering up.

"We've tried that," you explain. "Very early on. Before I even met Dirk. It was actually really fun. We went to a Panic! concert. It was great. We even kissed. But guys, we're just friends."

"What do you mean you kissed?" Natasha hisses.

And that's when everyone's attention turns from the movie to you and every minute detail about your date with Bucky.

It's only a couple hours later that you're standing in the kitchen washing dishes as Bucky picks up the living room. Everyone's gone home for the night.

"You could always hire someone," Buck suggests, as he sets a couple of glasses beside you to be washed.

"Do I look like Deborah Messing? This isn't one of your rom-coms, Buck. Stuff like that doesn't really happen in real life."

He laughs. "Come on, Y/N. You know I'm only joking."

"Face it. There's no way for me to find a date for the weekend. Not this late anyway. Besides, I'd rather not be that person that brings a different date to every family function."

"Why is this such a huge deal anyway?" Bucky wonders.

You stay quiet for a second, wondering that yourself. It wasn't that you weren't happy with your life. Honestly, you didn't think you cared that much about your relationship status. But then again...

"I'm almost thirty," you point out as you rinse the pizza pan in your hands. You can feel his eyes on you, like he's about to ask you how your age has any relevance to the conversation at hand. "I know, I know. But it's different for guys. Women have a prime window for creating a family. And I know I don't have to, that women shouldn't be expected to have children -- yada yada. I'm about all that. But I want to. I had a plan. And it sort of fell apart, I guess. And my mom is on me all the time now. And maybe I'm not really all that happy with where I'm at anyway."

You wash and rinse the two cups and you're done, draining the water and drying your hands off on a dish towel draped over the oven handle.

Bucky gives you a gentle smile and pulls you into a warm hug and kisses your temple. "Hey. It's no time to give up. You might not find a date for this weekend, but that doesn't mean you won't find a date for the rest of your life, Doll."

You lean into him and breathe deep. Sometimes it sucked that you and Bucky weren't meant to be.

#Finally got a moment to do this #loki #loki x reader #Avengers #jsdchallenge #life sucks.#hubcaps and ashtrays

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tomeandflickcorner · 4 years

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Umbrella Academy Recap 2x07

1x01 1x02 1x03 1x04 1x05 1x06 1x07 1x08 1x09 1x10

2x01 2x02 2x03 2x04 2x05 2x06

Well, last time, it was one step forward and two steps back for the Hargreeves Siblings. Not only did they make contact with 1963 Reginald, who proved to be no help to them (no surprises there), but there were setbacks even for the individual subplots. Ray now knows about Allison’s powers, but he’s still leery because he knows that he wouldn’t know it if Allison had used her powers on him. Klaus was able to have a private conversation with Past Dave, only to find that his efforts of keeping him from being killed in the upcoming Vietnam War may have backfired as they resulted in Dave’s uncle forcing him to enlist ahead of schedule. And while Vanya managed to convince Sissy to agree to run away together, Sissy’s husband, Carl, was spying on them and now knows they’re in love. Oh, and poor Elliot was brutally tortured and killed by the Swedes, who are looking for Diego, whom they believe was directly responsible for the death of their brother. And Number 5 made a deal with The Handler, which involved him agreeing to kill The Commission’s board of directors to ensure The Handler could take charge in exchange for the chance for him and his siblings to return to their own time, with both apocalypses being permanently removed from the timeline. Yeah, a lot happened last episode.

Episode 7 begins with Number 5 traveling to Oshkosh, Wisconsin in 1982, which is the time and location of the board of directors meeting. The meeting is taking place at some lodge, under the guise of the Midwest Soybean Society. After getting directions to the correct ballroom from a lady at the reception desk, Number 5 has a hilarious ordeal with a faulty vending machine. One that I’m sure anyone who has had their desired snack fail to dispense correctly can relate to. In frustration, Number 5 smashes the vending machine’s glass covering. However, he then choses to simply walk away from the damage. Not sure why he didn’t just take the fudge nutter bar he was so determined to get, but maybe he felt it best to get away from the scene of the crime. Number 5 then proceeds to the indicated ballroom, where the board of directors meeting is already underway, with AJ, the talking goldfish we last saw in 2x02, sitting at the head of the table. Number 5 barges into the room, wielding a fire axe and proceeds to kill everyone in the room. Rather gruesomely, I might add. Yes, we don’t actually see any of the killing blows, but we do see one guy lying on the ground with his intestines hanging out. Before long, everyone in the room is dead, apart from Number 5 and AJ. AJ seems to realize The Handler put him up to this and tries to bargain with Number 5 to no avail. But right before Number 5 could begin to attack AJ, the lady from the lodge’s reception desk appears out of nowhere, tackling Number 5. She’s angry about the damage to the vending machine and intends to make him pay for it. Which is fine and good, but still slightly confusing. I mean, she does notice the multiple dead bodies lying around the room, right? One would think dead bodies would outweigh a broken vending machine. Anyway, Number 5 manages to knock her out. But AJ took advantage of the distraction to try and make his getaway. Of course, Number 5 manages to overtake him with his teleporting ability and smashes AJ’s glass jar head, which results in AJ flopping around on the floor.

Number 5 later meets up with The Handler, presenting her with AJ, who is now confined in a plastic baggie filled with water. The Handler is visibly pleased to see AJ in this state. However, Number 5 doesn’t share her excitement, stating he is not okay with the murders he’d committed, and he only went through with them for his family, and to save the world. The Handler pretty much dismisses his misgivings over the deaths he’d caused and hands him a time traveling briefcase that will bring him and the other Hargreeves Siblings back to 2019. However, as she turns to walk off, she tells Number 5 that he only has 90 minutes to use the time traveling briefcase. Number 5 is aghast by this, as The Handler never mentioned there’d be a time limit. And it will be quite difficult for him to successfully round up all the Hargreeves Siblings in only an hour and a half. The Handler is not bothered by this, telling Number 5 that he’d better hurry.

We then cut to Klaus and Ben. Klaus, knowing that Ben is wanting to possess his body again, is doing his best to prevent that by staying awake. Ben points out that Klaus cannot possibly stay awake forever. Sooner or later, he’s going to drift off, whether he likes it or not. And I couldn’t help but giggle during this scene. Every time Klaus’ eyelids drooped, when he opened his eyes again, Ben would be a little bit closer. Something about this made me remember the Weeping Angels from Doctor Who. Klaus begs Ben to give him a break, as he’s still upset over not being able to do anything to prevent Dave’s death, and he hates feeling this powerless. To this, Ben retorts that he deals with that feeling every single day, and he hates having to watch Klaus make the same mistakes over and over again. Upon hearing this, Klaus is reasonably remorseful towards his brother. But not enough to allow Ben to possess him again. He asks Ben why he’s so determined to take control of his body. Ben explains that he wants to be able to actually speak with Jill, the young woman he fancies. Upon hearing Ben’s reasons, Klaus finally relents and agrees to let Ben into the driver’s seat for a bit. But only as long as Ben agrees to obey some ground rules. For instance, no cutting Klaus’ hair and avoiding any dairy products. (Guess Klaus is lactose intolerant?) Ben agrees to this, and so Klaus allows him to posses him. Klaus-Ben then proceeds to relish in the ability to actually interact with the world around him. Such as eating an orange and feeling dirt under his feet. Finally, he is able to actually talk with and spend time with Jill.

Over at the farmhouse, Sissy and Vanya are biding their time, trying to make things appear normal so Carl doesn’t suspect their plans to run off together. Of course, they don’t realize Carl already knows about them, so the scene has a tense overtone to it. Sissy announces that she plans to take Harlan in for a checkup and asks Vanya if she’d like to come along. Vanya agrees, suggesting that they swing by the park afterwards. Clearly, this was their cover story to give them a chance to get a head start before Carl noticed they were missing. However, Carl disrupts the plan, stating he wants Vanya to give him a ride over to Jim Garvey’s ranch. Sissy tries to ague her case, stating Harlan likes it when Vanya goes along for his checkups, and her presence helps keep him calm, but Carl is insistent that Vanya goes with him. Vanya assures Sissy that she’s okay with going with Carl to the ranch, nonverbally telling her that she’s fine with waiting a bit longer. However, upon arriving at the ranch, Carl reveals to Vanya that he knows about her relationship with Sissy, stating that he will not allow such ‘unnaturalness’ to go on under his roof. Vanya tells Carl that she’s not afraid of him. In response to this, Carl threatens to send Harlan away to a facility “better equipped to handle his type.” Unless Vanya agrees to go away. Vanya, out of a desire to protect Harlan and ensure Sissy won’t loose her son, agrees to leave the farmhouse. Satisfied, Carl tells Vanya that he expects her to be gone by the time he returns home.

At the Chestnut household, Ray has received word that President Kennedy’s people reached out to their Civil Rights group. It turns out their protest has gained their attention and they want to sit down and discuss things. Allison voices her happiness over how things are looking up for Ray and his efforts, but says she’d prefer to sit this one out, stating that she doesn’t feel well. You get the feeling that something is upsetting her, but she does her best to keep it to herself. In the end, Ray heads off alone, promising to bring back some soup for her. As he walks out, Allison tells him that she loves him, but Ray only responds with a smile. Ray’s failure to say he loves her in return doesn’t improve Allison’s mood.

At Elliot’s apartment, Diego and Luther are gathered around Elliot’s body. They agree that Elliot deserved better than this. Diego wonders if the feds were responsible for Elliot’s death, but Luther points out that if the feds were involved, they would have taken Elliot away to question him. Their attention is then drawn to the message the Swedes left behind, Oga for Oga. Thinking that Oga is a person, Luther turns to the phone book to look her up, finding a listing for an Olga Foroga. They proceed to call her up, and Diego threatens her. But then Number 5 arrives on the scene and informs them that the message Oga for Oga isn’t a name, but a Swedish phrase that translates to ‘an eye for an eye.’ Therefore, it was the Swedes that killed Elliot. Luther and Diego sheepishly claim they would have realized that eventually. They then notice that Number 5 is still covered in blood, and Luther demands to know what Number 5 did. It’s not clear if Number 5 told his brothers about what he had to do, but he does tell them he managed to make a deal to ensure they can all return to their own time, with both doomsdays being prevented. They just have to find the others first. Luther is tasked with fetching Allison, Diego is sent to find Klaus and Number 5 volunteers to get Vanya. The three brothers then part ways, with Number 5 stating they’ll meet up at the alleyway where they first arrived in exactly 77 minutes. Before they part, Diego questions what they’ll do about 1963 Reginald and President Kennedy. In response, Number 5 reminds him that Elliot was killed because of them, and they are absolutely taking this chance to go home, before anything else happens. Diego relents, but states he wants to say goodbye to Lila first. In frustration, Number 5 informs Diego that Lila works for The Commission and was simply using Diego the whole time. Diego is visibly upset, but makes it clear that he refuses to believe that Lila was using him.

At The Commission Headquarters, The Handler holds an emergency meeting. She informs everyone that the entire board of directors were assassinated, and a full investigation is underway. She goes on to say that she will be taking over as the head of The Commission, and the briefcase room will be temporarily closed as a safety precaution. We see Lila is standing amongst the crowd, but she gives no indication how she feels about her adoptive mother taking control of The Commission. After the emegency meeting, The Handler retreats to her new office and dumps AJ into a fish bowl. She then proceeds to gloat a bit. Lila, who is sitting nearby, asks if she really has to be there. She’s clearly not sharing The Handler’s feeling of triumph over the successful coup. To try and get rid of Lila’s ‘bad attitude,’ The Handler gives her a badge that names her head of security. Lila accepts the position, on the condition that she’s allowed to do things her own way. The Handler agrees to this, stating Lila has earned this.

Luther approaches Allison, who is just coming back from the market. He tells her that Number 5 found a way for them to return home. Allison is stunned by the news, but is heartened by the notion that she might be able to see Claire again. (Oh, good, she does remember her daughter.) Of course, Luther admits he’s not sure what sort of world they’ll come back to. Allison announces that she can’t handle losing people anymore. She has doubts that Number 5 will get it right this time. If he doesn’t, she might have to lose her brothers and sister all over again, and she can’t go through that again. Luther does his best to console her, acknowledging that she’s right in saying it’s not fair that they can’t live normal lives. However, he reminds her that they don’t belong in 1963, and they need to go back home. At that moment, Ray returns home. So Allison has to quickly fill Ray in, stating she and her siblings are going to have to return to 2019 that very day. Ray is upset when he learns Allison will have to leave in 33 minutes, asking if there’s another way. He clearly isn’t ready to say goodbye to her. A tearful Allison asks Ray if he would go with her if she’d asked. Ray ultimately decides he can’t leave the Civil Rights movement behind. Even though Allison admits the fight is still going on in 2019, Ray knows his part of the fight is in 1963. Which means that they have no choice than to part ways. And they’re both grieving the fact that this is goodbye. Allison offers to use her powers on Ray, to spare him from feeling sorrow over Allison’s imminent departure from his life. Ray turns down the offer, stating he doesn’t want to forget Allison or the time they spent together. And that he’d pick the year he spent with Allison over a lifetime with anyone else. They then kiss one last time. But the moment is ruined when the Swedes show up at the door, posing as vacuum salesmen. They quickly punch Allison in the throat, momentarily making her lose her voice so she can’t use her powers on them. With Allison defenseless, they proceed to attack both her and Ray. (And props to Ray, as he does put up a good fight.) After a struggle, Allison manages to incapacitate the Swede attacking her by piercing his eye with a vaccuum attachment. She then directs her attention on the Swede fighting with Ray and uses her powers on him, instructing him to kill his brother. So the mind-controlled Swede turns on the other one. When the deed is done, the last remaining Swede runs off, horrified over what he’d just done.

Meanwhile, Klaus-Ben is still spending time with Jill. But things get complicated when Jill voices a desire to have sex. Obviously, this is an issue, as Jill doesn’t realize that she’s actually talking to Ben and not Klaus. So there’s an obvious dubious consent issue here. Fortunately, Diego arrives to collect Klaus before anything could happen. As Diego escorts Klaus-Ben away, Klaus-Ben reveals that he is actually Ben. At first, Diego doesn’t believe him, thinking Klaus is simply high again. Klaus-Ben offers to prove it, telling Diego to ask him something only Ben would know. Deciding to play along, Diego asks Klaus-Ben what they reprogramed Allison’s Teddy Ruxpin to say when they were little. (Wait, Allison had a Teddy Ruxpin? Considering what Reginald was like, I wouldn’t think the Hargreeves Siblings were allowed to have toys.) In response, Klaus-Ben responds with ‘Luther sniffs Dad’s underwear.’ This is enough to convince Diego that he really is talking to Ben. And he has an emotional reaction to the knowledge that he’s speaking to his long-dead brother again. Diego tells Ben to remain in Klaus’ body for a bit longer, as they need someone responsible in the driver’s seat for a while. But Klaus-Ben asks if he can have ten more minutes before they leave to meet up with the others. He obviously wants to see Jill one last time. Diego, after a brief hesitation, states that there’s something he needs to do as well. So he instructs Klaus-Ben to meet him in the alleyway in half an hour. With that, Diego leaves. But as soon as he does so, Ben starts to lose his control of Klaus’ body. So Klaus-Ben has to hurry away to make it to the alleyway before Klaus can fully regain control. As Klaus-Ben leaves the mansion, he is briefly held up by Keechie, who Klaus-Ben instructs to take over leadership of the cult.

Elsewhere, Vanya is driving back to the famhouse to pack her things and leave Sissy and Harlan behind, as Carl instructed. And she is visibly upset over the situation. En route to her destination, she passes by Number 5 on the road. They both get out of their cars to talk. Number 5 announces he was looking for her, stating that he found a way for them to return home and they only have half an hour to take it. Vanya, however, hesitates, stating she can’t just leave her friends. She insists on bringing them with her. Number 5 tells her that’s not possible, as Vanya’s friends belong in this timeline, so they must stay where they are. But Vanya is adamant, passionately stating that Sissy deserves better than being forced to pretend to be someone she’s not. And Harlan can receive better, more understanding care in 2019 than he could get in the 1960s. She goes on to say that a mother and her 8-year-old can hardly mess up the timeline, as they’re insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Number 5 disagrees, stating nobody is insignificant. He voices his sympathy to Vanya’s plight, but insists they cannot take the risk of bringing Sissy and Harlan with them. This results in a real confrontation to occur between the two. Vanya challenges Number 5, asking why he should be allowed to decide. To this, Number 5 announces that if it wasn’t for him, they’d all be dead now, thanks to Vanya. In seconds, Vanya and Number 5 are both staring each other down, with both of them activating their powers. But this doesn’t really go anywhere, as Vanya backs down. But she still asks Number 5 to allow her the time to say goodbye to Sissy, stating that if he won’t grant her that much then she simply won’t go back with them at all. Without another world, Vanya turns to walk off, and Number 5 reluctantly agrees to Vanya’s terms, telling her to show up at the designated alley, and to not be late.

Still, when Vanya gets to the farmhouse, Sissy and Harlan are just coming back from the doctor’s office. Despite what she’d told Number 5, Vanya is still planning on bringing them along. Vanya tells Sissy that the time for them to leave is now, and they have to leave before Carl gets back. Sissy is hesitant at first, believing that she owes Carl a final goodbye or something. After all, he is still her husband. But Vanya is insistent that she owes Carl nothing, telling her that he knows about them, and that he threated to send Harlan to an institution. This is enough to convince Sissy to leave with Vanya right away. But while Vanya escorts Harlan to the car, Sissy ducks back inside to retrieve he secret stash of cash. However, Sissy then decides, rather foolishly, to leave a note behind for Carl anyway. So they’re met with a police barricade. One of the police officers, who Sissy identifies as her brother-in-law, accuses them of kidnapping Harlan. Vanya ends up fighting back with her powers, which shocks Sissy. When Vanya looks back at Sissy, as if to gauge her reaction to the revelation that she has powers, she is struck with the handle of a police-issued rifle and is knocked out, much to Sissy’s dismay.

As for Diego, he meets up with Lila while burying Elliot’s body. Diego confronts Lila over how she’d lied to him over who she really was. Lila states that everything else she told him was true, and that she only lied about her identity to protect him. Diego isn’t mollified though. He asks Lila if she has any idea how hard it is to trust people after spending an entire childhood being manipulated. He then announces that, once he’s done burring Elliot, he’s going to go home and forget all about her. Lila, when she realizes Elliot was killed by the Swedes, voices her sorrow over it, stating she liked Elliot and his crazy conspiracy theories. She and Diego then share a drink in Elliot’s memory. Only Diego realizes too late that Lila once again tricked him, as there was a sedative mixed into the drink. Diego quickly loses consciousness. He comes to later on, inside The Handler’s office, where Lila introduces him to The Handler. And, to his confusion, Lila identifies Diego as her boyfriend.

The episode ends with Number 5, Luther and Klaus-Ben arriving at the alleyway, with Klaus’ body fully ejecting Ben the moment they arrive. But because Allison was attacked by the Swedes, Diego was abducted by Lila and Vanya got held up and knocked out by the cops, they all failed to make it to the rendezvous spot in time. Number 5 vents over how his siblings couldn’t handle the simple task of getting to the alleyway in time. (Hopefully, he’ll feel bad about that statement when he realizes that Allison, Vanya and Diego weren’t late on purpose.) When the time traveling briefcase activates, Number 5 is forced to throw it away, resulting in it entering the time vortex without them. So the Hargeeeves Siblings have lost what might have been their only chance at returning to 2019 and resorting the timeline.

Closing thoughts/questions:

Yeah, I get why Number 5 and Luther were upset over how Allison, Diego and Vanya didn’t make it to the alleyway in time. But it was still presumptuous of them to conclude that it was due to their own ineptitude or inability to follow directions. Did it not occur to either of them that something happened to them?

Come to think of it, why didn’t Luther stick around while Allison said goodbye to Ray? At the very least, he could have waited outside while she had her final moment with him. Instead, he up and heads off without her? Because if he had stuck around, he might have been able to help her fight The Swedes. And then they could have both made it on time. (Sure, Diego and Vanya would have still been held up, but still.)

I wonder if Ben will be able to communicate with the other Hargreeves Siblings. After all, Diego now knows Ben is around and can possess Klaus. So, if he can get back to the others, he’s sure to tell them about it.

I really hope Sissy and Harlan will be able to get away. Because they absolutely cannot remain with Carl after this.

My appreciation for Ray just keeps growing. I feel so bad for him! Because the love story he had going on with Allison was so beautiful. It’s made even more lovely with him saying he wouldn’t change a thing about their time together, even though he knows it would never last. It’s so wonderfully bittersweet! At least Allison knows what a good, healthy relationship looks like now.

Clearly, Lila does care about Diego. I wonder if that will be enough for her to turn against The Handler. I just get the feeling that she’s no longer feeling loyal to her adoptive mother anymore. So I wonder what she’s got up her sleeve.

#umbrella acedmy #umbrella academy 2x07 #tua

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justforbooks · 7 years

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I’ve been trying to remember, was it The Sorrow And The Pity they were lining up for when, sick to death of the medium-is-the-message windbaggery of the pseudo-intellectual – now there’s a term to blast me back – in front of him, Alvy actually produces Marshall McLuhan from behind a lobby card? The association strikes me as a natural one, since I’m about to gather with the other acolytes in an art house cinema. Will anyone in the queue reference or be moved to imitate the McLuhan moment, I wonder?

And where were they? Was it at the Regency at 68th street? (Was it even called the Regency? It hardly matters, since it’s gone now, like the New Yorker at 88th, the movie house at 72nd and Broadway, the Thalia {{which does show up at the very end of the movie, when he runs into Annie after they’ve stopped dating and introduces her to a young, young Sigourney Weaver, fresh out of Yale}}, the Metro, the Bleecker and, of course, Theater 80. With all the rep houses having ceded their real estate to condos and their authority to Netflix, who is curating the tastes of the city’s undergraduates? How will they even know about The Sorrow And The Pity? Mondo Cane? How can the budding homosexual flower without the occasional force-feeding of a double feature of Now Voyager and All About Eve? To wit – and to extend this parenthetical yet further: in senior year, at the last meeting of our Japanese literature seminar before Spring break, the professor – ageing, erudite, one of the few, perhaps only, Western recipients of countless Japanese cultural laurels – asked us our plans for the coming week. I allowed as how I would be staying in town in order to write my thesis. ‘Well then, of course you’ll be going to the Bette Davis festival every day down at the Embassy.’ He said it as if stating an obvious prescription, like recommending medical attention for a sucking chest wound, or ‘You’ll want to call the fire department about those flames licking up the front of your house.’ Only a self-destructive lunatic would think he could survive the week by missing the Bette Davis festival. I took his advice and went every day. Did it help my thesis any? Hard to say. It was a long time ago.)

The time when a Woody Allen retrospective would have evoked that kind of fierce cinéaste devotion seems long gone, having been tempered out of us not just by the years (such performative loyalty is really the province of the youngsters who nightly go to Irving Plaza right near my apartment, passing the hours sitting on the pavement singing the songs of the artists they are about to see), but by Woody Allen himself. The tsunami of mediocrities like Hollywood Ending and Melinda And Melinda effectively obliterates why Manhattan mattered so much. I can’t help feeling like he’s dismantled the very admirable legacy of his earlier work by his later, overly prolific efforts. It’s a more benign version of Ralph Nader (with the key difference that I hate Ralph Nader, whereas Woody Allen simply makes me a little bit sad).

Then again, no one worth a damn doesn’t make the occasional bit of bad work: there are episodes of The Judy Garland Show that are absolute train wrecks of creaky squareness, made all the more ghoulish by the presence of an aphasic gin-soaked Peter Lawford, and I take a back seat to no one in my love for Judy Garland, the most talented individual who ever lived (ladies and gentlemen, my Kinsey placement); I read a lousy late Edith Wharton novel this summer, The Children, that was a tone-deaf, treacly muddle; I don’t care for Balanchine’s Scherzo à la Russe and I’ve said it before, even though it is considered a cinematically signal moment by the Cahiers du Cinema crowd (zzzzzzz), I’m no great fan of the movie Kiss Me Deadly.

Perhaps taken as a whole, the twenty-eight films will start to exert their own internal logic and I will see and delight in how Allen mines his themes over and over again. Or perhaps it will be like the Broadway show Fosse, where a surfeit of the choreographer’s vocabulary made all of it suffer and the entire thing looked like the kind of shitty entertainment that takes place on a raised, round, carpeted platform at a car show. I’ll see, I guess.

As one might expect for the 1:30 p.m. showing on the Friday before Christmas, there are only about a dozen of us waiting. Our ranks swell to about thirty people closer to show time, but at first it’s just me and more than a few men of a certain age (whose ranks I join with ever greater legitimacy each day), about whom it might be reasonably assumed that we spend an inordinate amount of time fixating on when next we might need to pee. Thoughts of age stay at the forefront in the first few minutes of the film, when Woody Allen himself (who, it must be said, in later scenes, stripped down to boxers, kind of had a rocking little body in his day) addresses the camera directly and tells us that he just turned forty. I’m older than that by two years.

How many times have I seen this, I wonder? Unquantifiable. The film is canonical and familiar and memorized, almost to the point of ritual. Perhaps this is the spiritual solace the faithful find in the formulaic rhythms of liturgy. It’s as comforting as stepping into a warm bath. Diane Keaton is enchanting, there is no other word for it. She comes on the screen and you can hear the slightest creaking in the audience as corners of mouths turn up. There is Christopher Walken, a peach-fuzzed stripling. And there, doe-eyed, with drum-tight skin: Carol Kane playing Alvy’s first wife, Allison Portchnik.

Allison Portchnik. Oy. I am generally known as an unfailingly appropriate fellow. I have very good manners. But when I fuck up, I fuck up big time. Suddenly I am reminded of how, three years ago, I was on a story for an adventure magazine, an environmental consciousness-raising whitewater-rafting expedition in Chilean Patagonia (about which the less said the better. It’s really scary. Others may call it exhilarating, and I suppose it is, the way having a bone marrow test finally over and done with is exhilarating. And Patagonia, Chilean Patagonia at least, while pretty, isn’t one tenth as breathtaking as British Columbia). On the trip with me were Bobby Kennedy, Jr., hotelier André Balazs and Glenn Close, among others. Everyone was very nice, I hasten to add.

After lunch one day, my friend Chris, the photographer on the story, came up to me and said, ‘I’d lay off the Kennedy assassination jokes if I were you.’

I laughed, but Chris reiterated, not joking this time. ‘No, I’d really lay off the Kennedy assassination jokes. The lunch line . . .’ he reminded me.

And then I remembered. I had been dreading this trip (see above about how totally justified I was in my trepidation) for weeks beforehand, terrified by the off-the-grid distance of this Chilean river, a full three days of travel away; terrified of the rapids and their aqueous meatgrinder properties; terrified of just being out of New York. All of this terror I took and disguised as an affronted sense of moral outrage, that such trips were frivolous, given the terrible global situation. I explained it to Glenn Close thusly:

‘I was using the war in Iraq to try and avoid coming down here,’ suddenly, unthinkingly invoking the part of Annie Hall where Alvy breaks off from kissing Allison because he’s distracted by niggling doubts: if the motorcade was driving past the Texas Book Depository, how could Oswald, a poor marksman, have made his shot? Surely there was a conspiracy afoot. Then, with Bobby Kennedy, Jr. helping himself to three-bean salad on the lunch line not five feet away, I switched into my Carol Kane as Allison Portchnik voice and said, ‘You’re using the Kennedy Assassination as an excuse to avoid having sex with me.’ Then I followed that up with my Woody Allen imitation and finished out the scene. Nice. No one pointed out my gaffe or was anything other than gracious and delightful.

Despite how well I know the material, the film feels so fresh. All the observations and jokes feel like they’re being made for the first time, or are at least in their infancy. By later films they will feel hackneyed (in the movie Funny Girl, the process of calcification is even more accelerated. You get back from intermission and Barbra Streisand already feels like too big a star, a drag version of herself ), but here it’s all just terrifically entertaining. And current! Alvy tells his friend Max that he feels that the rest of the country turning its back on the city – It’s the mid-70s. Gerald Ford to New York: Drop Dead, and all that jazz – is anti-Semitic in nature. That we are seen as left-wing, Communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers. And so we remain, at least in the eyes of Washington and elsewhere, a pervy bastion of surrender monkeys. There was an Onion headline that ran after a sufficient interval of time had passed post-9/11, that essentially read, ‘Rest of country’s temporary love affair with New York officially over.’

Rest of the country’s perhaps, but mine was just beginning when I saw the film at age eleven. By the time the voiceover gets to the coda about how we throw ourselves over and over again into love affairs despite their almost inevitable disappointments and heartbreak because, like the joke says, ‘we need the eggs,’ (if you need the set-up to the punchline, what on earth are you doing reading this?) I am weepy with love for the city. Although, truth be told, it doesn’t take much to get my New York waterworks going.

Walking out, my friend Rick, thirtyplus years resident said, ‘I had forgotten how Jewish a film it is.’ I really hadn’t noticed. But I’m the wrong guy to ask. It’s like saying to a fish, ‘Do things around here seem really wet to you?’ I wrote a book that got translated into German a few years back. There was a fascination among the Germans with what they perceived as my Jewish sensibility; a living example of the extirpated culture. I’ve said this before, but I felt like the walking illustration of that old joke about the suburbs being the place where they chop down all the trees and then name the streets after them. At least a dozen of the reviews referred to me as a ‘stadtneurotiker’, an urban neurotic, a designation that pleased me, I won’t lie. Especially when I found out the German title for Annie Hall.

Der Stadtneurotiker.

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