#I spend years thinking about poses and looking for references to use and then picking out the right colors

[vin-taege]

muse (m)

summary: Erik is having trouble sketching a design for a pin-up tattoo. No matter how many references he looked through, he just couldn't get the pose right. Luckily, his girlfriend is there to be his real-life model.

genre: fluff, smut

pairing: erik campbell x reader

CW: p in v, unprotected sex (stay safe irl!), spitting, choking, spanking, light degradation, light dumbification, pure filth, lowkey biting kink, erik is a bit of a sadist, aftercare!

words: ~4.4k

"I'm going to get carpal tunnel." Erik shook his wrist, the motion unable to contain the pain from his pinched veins. The house was empty, save for him and Bobby. The rest of the family went out for a grocery run, while the two of them were restricted either by college or by work.

"That's not good," Bobby grimaced, barely glancing up from his chemistry textbook. "You won't be able to jack off properly."

The blunt end of a rubber eraser hit the younger boy square in the head. Rubbing the sore spot, he shot a displeased look towards his 'attacker,' only to be met by a shit-eating grin. 

"Oops, it slipped."

Still feeling his brother's pointed glance, Erik let out an exaggerated sigh. "Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just stressed because Mark won't get off my ass for this project."

"Aren't you guys allowed to use reference sites?"

"Yeah, but I'd rather not slowly burn my eyes out of their sockets. Also, I think I’ve gone through every picture Pinterest has. The frat boy who wants this tattoo keeps asking for updates every thirty minutes and he’s busting my balls."

To say this specific tattoo design was kicking his ass was an understatement. Drawing was both the easiest and the hardest part. Erik was skilled enough to go from neo-traditional to realistic at the drop of a hat, but the amount of work it took—plus his shit working posture he swore he’d fix—was out to knock a few years off his life. The more he drew poses again and again, the sloppier they looked. He groaned in frustration, balling up another piece of paper.

"Why don't you ask ___ to model for you then?" Bobby picked up a highlighter, aggressively running it across what Taehyung estimated to be an entire paragraph. He almost didn't hear what Erik hastily mumbled under his breath. "What was that?"

"I don’t want her to feel conscious, okay?" Erik huffed. "Plus, I’d get a bit… distracted from drawing, and the whole point is to draw."

Bobby screwed his face in disgust. He shook the mental picture of whatever his brother and you do underneath bed covers and went back to focus on studying for his finals. What he didn’t know was that his off-handed suggestion truly stuck with Erik.

Erik tucked his pencil and graphite stick back into their case, carefully wrapping the latter in tissue to prevent it from making a mess. Even though he had an iPad, he still preferred to draw traditionally—one of his quirks you loved. He was so particular about small details like texture and shading control, loved the feel of wood rather than smooth metal.

He looked back at his phone, scrolling through his mess of a gallery. A mixture of personal pictures, pose references, playlist screenshots, and shitpost gathered under the “all photos” tab—not that he bothered to ever sort them into proper albums. He aimlessly scrolled, not exactly sure what he was looking for. Finally, he was hit with serendipity.

It was a picture from two weeks ago. He had been working late as the shop closer and texted you that he’d spend an extra hour over time. You had whined at him over a brief call, rightfully so, since he had planned for that night to be a movie night.

“Erik, I got all pretty just for you,” he could almost see your pout through the phone.

“You’re always pretty, baby.”

“That’s not my point!”

“I know,” he sighed. “I’m really sorry. I’ll make it up to you when I get there, okay?”

After a few more bouts of apologies and a reluctant “I love you,” that’s when he got the picture. You were kneeling in front of the mirror, your free arm planted on the ground. It pressed against your chest, making your cleavage more pronounced. In between your thighs, behind your hand, he could faintly see the shimmer of lace panties—the ones he picked out for you after you made him listen to the Brat album. The only thing covering you up was his favorite leather jacket, the thick fabric embracing your frame while still showing your silhouette.

And damn, all the memories of that night hit him once more. How he fucked you in his jacket, how breathy your voice got, pitching up when you were deep in subspace, how much you begged him to fill you up. He could feel his dick twitch in his pants.

“I need to go. You’d be fine here by yourself, right?” Erik hastily chucked his things in a ratty. leather satchel. You had gotten it for him three birthdays ago, and at this point, the leather’s got a bit of chafing, while the straps were filled with a row of button pins. Erik refused to use anything else to carry his things.

“Uh, where are you going? Mom and Dad are gonna come back soon for dinner. They texted, like, just ten minutes ago.” Bobby shifted from his position on the couch, moving to toss his textbook aside and catch up to Erik, but he had already gotten his boots on.

“I’m taking your advice.” Erik paused at the doorway, making eye contact with a confused Bobby. In a second, everything clicked for the younger sibling. He cringed, gritting his teeth together.

“Tell her I said hi, at least,” Bobby awkwardly waved at Erik, watching as he trudged off like a man on a mission.

────୨ৎ────

“Bobby says ‘hi,’” was the first thing Erik told you when you opened the door. You chuckled, both in confusion and surprise. Just this morning, Erik had texted you that he’d be preoccupied all day just trying to make a draft for that one client; some frat boy in an on-again-off-again relationship who wanted his girl as a pin-up on his thigh. Which is why you didn’t expect to see him at your door this evening.

He licked his lips at the sight of you. One of his old band tees hung around your frame, barely covering the top of your thighs. Black shorts peeked beneath the soft fabric. You moved to hug him, squeezing his body against yours.

“Kiki! I thought you forgot about me.”

You laughed as he rolled his eyes, the curve of a smile ghosting his lips. With one arm wrapped around you, he brought a hand to cup your face, leaning in to kiss you deeply. You could taste the faint menthol from the hard candies he substituted for cigarettes. He was trying to quit after promising you he’d take care of himself more.

He shifted to grip your jaw firmer, using your small gasp as an opportunity to slip his tongue in. You moaned quietly, feeling his jeans rub against your thighs. Just as you felt yourself getting wet, he pulled away, teasingly grinning at you.

“How could I ever forget my girl?”

Your cheeks heated up at the pet name. Shaking your head, you stepped aside to let him in and closed the front door.

Erik basically lived part-time at your apartment. He knew where you kept your cups and plates, memorized what brand of detergent you used, and knew just the right way to twist your shower knob so that the water was the perfect temperature. He plopped on his usual spot on your couch, with you following close by. He patted his lap, an invitation for you to take your favorite seat.

“How’s the pin-up job going?” you asked once you settled down. His hands automatically landed on your thighs. You took his satchel, digging around before you procured his sketchbook.

“It’s shit, babe. I’ve been getting artist’s block since that guy left the shop.” He watched quietly as your eyes scanned over his failed sketches. He never wanted to admit it, but a small part of him still felt nervous whenever you looked at his drawings. Subconsciously, his thumb traced small circles onto your skin. “I actually came here to ask you for help with something.”

“Mhmm?” you hummed, only half-listening to him. No matter how many times you viewed his sketchbook, you were always awe-struck. Erik’s shop was mainly known for piercings, but on the rare days he’s given a task of a tattoo job, he always kills it with his artistry. Strong shape language, vivid colors, fluid composition—he was such a ridiculously good artist.

“Baby?” Erik chuckled, bringing a hand up so he could swipe your lips with his thumb. You scrunched your face up in surprise, bringing your full attention back to him. “I said I wanted to ask if you could help me with this drawing.”

You smiled sheepishly. “And what exactly do you want me to do? Is this one of your brilliant plans?”

“It’s not a heist this time, I promise,” he snorted. He fell silent for a moment, an uncharacteristic beat of seriousness washing over him. He took a deep breath. “You can always say no to this, and I swear I wouldn’t mind. I just really need a burst of inspiration right now and I keep fucking up the poses. And then I figured… I have a smoking hot girlfriend…”

He trailed off, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You cocked your on brow, laughing in disbelief. “And what, you want to paint your ‘smoking hot girlfriend’ like a French girl?”

He chuckled, pulling you closer to him. He hooked his chin over your shoulder, craning his neck to plant a soft kiss beneath your ear. “Only if she lets me.”

“Hmm…” you pretended to mull it over. “Only if you ask politely.”

“Please, will you, the queen of my heart, model for me?” He widened his eyes slightly, working his charm through his baby blues. You could feel his fingers brush higher on your thigh, his nails catching the hem of your shorts. 

“Fine, pretty boy.”

“That’s my fucking girl.” He bit your shoulder lightly, making you yelp in surprise. You twisted your torso, smacking him lightly on his chest as he laughed. You got off his lap, moving to the smaller plush chair next to the sofa.

“How do you want me?”

“I’d normally say hands and knees.” You shot him a glare, met only by an unabashed grin. “But right now, just sit pretty on the edge there. Bring one leg in front of the other and bend it like—yeah, that’s perfect. Now put you… right hand on the couch and extend it.”

You let him pose your arms, making small tweaks in your position. His touches were light, though lingering. Your skin burned each time the pads of his fingers came into contact with you. When he was satisfied, he took a few steps back, cocking his head a little to the side to take you in. 

“Beautiful,” he whispered under his breath.

You giggled, eyes darting to your oversized shirt, then back to him. “Do you want me to take this off?”

Without waiting for an answer, you peeled the fabric off smoothly before returning to your static position. You shivered a little as the cold air hit your bare breasts. Erik’s jaw hung open, his eyes darkening. He closed his mouth, swallowing thickly. Going back to his spot on the couch, he leaned back, opening his thighs wide. He set the sketchbook on top of the leg, planted on the couch.

“Don’t move, doll. Can you handle that for a few minutes?”

“What if I accidentally squirmed a little?” you batted your eyelashes innocently.

He snickered. “I’ll make sure you’ll regret it then. Wouldn’t want me to bend you over for a spanking now, do you?”

You pressed your lips in a thin line, clenching around nothing. Wetness stuck to the fabric of your panties. You wanted to rub your thighs, grind on the couch, but Erik’s watchful eyes froze you to the spot. His gaze would flicker between you and the paper, silence taking over the living room except for the music he’s set in the background. 

Just from the first song, you recognized the playlist: Erik’s Witching Hour. Also belovedly known as his sex playlist.

Humming to the tune, you tried to distract yourself. Erik’s gaze was heavy on you, piercing into your soul. It wasn’t self-consciousness per se—it was yearning. The room felt hot, despite your nipples hardening from the cool air. Your clit throbbed, demanding to be touched underneath your slick-ruined underwear. You could faintly hear Erik’s pencil scratch against the paper.

It was after whole minutes of silent concentration that you decided to play with him a little. Leaning your head backwards, you stared at the ceiling in faux boredom. “Wait so… you’re going to put a picture of me on another guy’s skin?”

“Bring your head back down, doll. And no, not exactly. I wouldn’t put you on that asshole. I just need a feel for the pose.”

You rolled your eyes, listening to his request. For now. For another moment, none of you spoke until you started swinging your legs back and forth. “Yeah… I was thinking of how this complete stranger was going to have my body on his for what—the rest of his life? Didn’t know you were into that.”

His expression hardened, jaw tensing. He called your name out quietly, an edge present in his voice. “Stop moving.”

You raked your gaze over him, stopping at the seam of his jeans. His sketchbook covered his crotch, but you could see his knuckles turning white from how hard he gripped it. You bit your lip, swaying lightly from side to side. “The idea of it is hot, no? Like, I’m branding someone almost.”

He said your name again, voice firmer this time. “I’m giving you three seconds to shut up, and if you don’t, I’m not going to be gentle with what I’m gonna do next.”

Your eyes lit up. You were really winding him up now. If there’s anything Erik loves, it's always a good chase. 

“One.”

You spread your legs slowly, angling your hips down to the chair.

“Two.”

Erik had already set his pencil on the table. He leaned forward, bringing both feet to the ground, eyes burning into yours. You could practically see the outline of his cock through his jeans now.

“Three?” you finished for him, rocking your hips slightly. Your thighs tensed as your clit finally met its sought-after friction. Without another word, Erik made his way to you with two big strides. You grinned at him as you felt a hand on your throat, fingers roughly pressing into the points of your jaw.

“Just can’t fucking help yourself, huh?” he whispered. He ran his thumb over your mouth, parting your lips. You suckled on his digit, twirling your tongue around him. He slipped his other hand underneath your shorts, tracing your slit through your panties. He groaned, feeling how soaked you were. “Have you been this wet since we started? Is that why you’re so fucking needy?”

You nodded, hips chasing after his touch when he brought his hand away. His thumb pressed down on your tongue, prying your jaw open. He leaned over, spitting into your mouth. He let your jaw go, watching with hunger as you immediately swallowed.

“I was just… curious about your work?” It came out more as a question. You bit your lip, trying to prevent the smile from spreading on your face. Erik narrowed his eyes at you.

Two firm hands gripped your waist, pulling you up and spinning you around. You felt pressure on the back of your knee, making it bend. Erik pressed a hand on your lower back, forcing an arch. You were kneeling on the sofa now, hands stabilizing yourself on the backrest. He grabbed the hem of your shorts, almost tearing the fabric as he yanked them down your thighs, alongside your panties. He took a moment to take in your wetness staining the black lace, before bringing his eyes to your dripping cunt.

“Are these the ones I got for you?” He ran a finger through your slit, collecting your fluids. He brought it to his lips, groaning deeply when he tasted you.

“My favorite,” you wiggled your ass. Immediately, you felt your left cheek sting, hearing the sharp smack first. Your mouth dropped in a silent moan—too shocked for any sound to come out.

“I’ll teach you a thing about branding,” Erik said, winding up his arm before bringing his palm down on your right ass. He watched the flesh jiggle, waiting for the redness to spread on your skin. He spanked you again, letting his fingers catch on your cunt. You squeezed your eyes shut, yelping in both pain and pleasure. “Since you seem to like it so much, I’ll make an example out of you.”

You bit your lip, too stubborn to let him hear you moan. Your nails dug into the couch as you took blow by blow. The skin was stinging, made worse when you felt the tip of Erik’s nail on the swell of your eyes. A whimper left your lips as he carved a crooked “E” on your flesh. The skin puffed slightly, making the letter even more visible. 

“You’re getting off this, you little freak,” he chuckled breathlessly. You panted, rocking back and forth as he wound circles around your clit. “You’re so fucking wet and I haven’t even gotten my cock out.”

“Fuck you,” you rasped out, trying to force more friction. His touch was light, teasing. You were about to turn your head back to spout more swears at him, when you felt a sharp smack against your cunt. You let out a strangled cry, bringing your thighs together.

“Oh, did that hurt? Poor baby,” he mocked you, forcing your thighs apart with his hands. Two fingers rubbed your slit up and down, barely dipping into you. “Isn’t this what you wanted?”

“Erik.” His name came out as a breathy whine. “Stop teasing.”

“Only if you ask politely,” he mimicked your words from earlier.

You groaned, throwing your head back in frustration. “Erik, please just fucking put them in already! I need your fingers so bad, baby, please. Please—fuck!”

You inhaled sharply as Erik slipped his fingers knuckle-deep into your cunt. He brought them back and forth, angling his hand until he hit the spot that made you see stars. Your breath stuttered, arms almost giving out. Erik snaked his other hand onto your neck, fingers pressing lightly against your throat. He guided you forward, letting the backrest hit your collarbones, your arms bent on top of it.

“Yeah, that’s it.” His voice mixed with the playlist and the squelching noises your cunt made. Each push of his fingers made you tense more, a coil winding up in your stomach. Your mind was clouded, taken over only by his scent, his touch, his voice. Your eyelids fluttered, sinful moans loudly leaving your lips.

“You’re gonna be a good doll and fucking follow orders this time.” He was bent over you, whispering harshly into your ear. He caught the bottom of your lobe, grinding it in between his teeth. Tears sprang from the corners of your eyes, a broken moan wretching its way out of your throat. “I know you’re getting close. You’re gonna make a mess all over my fingers, then you’re gonna kneel all pretty there and take it like a good girl when I fuck you, okay?”

You nodded your head, too lost in the pleasure to think properly. He let go of your throat, grabbing a fistful of your hair instead to yank your head back. “Can you talk to me, or are you too fucking dumb right now?”

“Eril, p-please. Yes, please fuck me, please let me cum, p-please,” you stuttered out, yelling as your orgasm hit you. You ground back into his palm, shaking as more slick gushed out of you. He continued to pump his fingers, slowing his pace as you rode out your high.

Taking big gulps of air, you placed your head on the chair’s backrest, thighs still trembling. You could faintly hear the clinking of his belt, followed by heavy fabric falling down. Your breath caught in your throat when you felt the cool tip of his prince albert poke slip in between your folds. “W-wait, Erik—”

“What’s your color, doll?” he murmured against your back, pressing soft kisses up your spine. He stopped the trail at your shoulder, biting and suckling on the skin until it bruised. You can’t imagine how much more marks your hips and ass had. He waited patiently for your answer, rubbing your waist soothingly.

You finally managed to catch your breath. “G-green.”

“That’s a good girl,” you could feel him smirk. He pressed a kiss on the crook of your neck, then entered you in one fluid motion. You let out a broken cry, feeling his piercing brush against your cervix. He stayed buried to the hilt, grinding his cock impossibly deeper into you.

“Erik, p-please,” you begged him. His hand found its way place back on your neck, fingers carefully placed so that he wouldn’t be pressing down on your windpipe. He gripped your hips firmly. Once he was satisfied with his position, he thursted into you. Slowly, cruelly.

He pulled out, leaving only the tip in, before pressing flush against your ass. You gasped each time, his cock expertly nailing your g-spot. Erik grunted, breathing heavily each time he thrust into you. Your cunt clenched tightly around him, greedily taking in his thick cock. No matter how many times you fucked, the delicious stretch always surprised you.

Erik could feel you getting close again. Your uneven breathing, how tight you had curled your toes, the steady stream of moans spilling from your lips—half of them profanities while the rest was his name. “Does my doll want to cum again?”

“M-mhhmm,” you gasped in between moans.

“Gotta do better than that, doll.” He applied light pressure to your throat, starting to quicken his pace. 

“C-cum! Erik, w-wanna cum, fu-fuck—please!” you mewled, barely hearing him give you permission. For a second, you blacked out, cunt spasming around his cock. Your mouth opened in a silent yell, moans caught in the throat he held. Your body went slack, drained by the powerful orgasm he forced out of you. The only things holding you up were his hands on your neck and hips. He used your body as leverage, pulling you into him as he snapped his hips.

Erik kept thrusting into you, following an animalistic rhythm. He plowed on, making the sofa creak, lightly bumping your cheek into the upholstery each time he bottomed out. You were barely coherent—the only thing you knew was that you felt so fucking good. Small ungh, ungh, ungh’s, was the only thing you were capable of saying. 

“Look at you. See, you could listen for once. Staying still like a pretty doll while I use you. You’re such a good girl. You’re gonna let me fill you up, won’t you, doll?” He moaned, voice breaking towards the end. His thrusts were getting sloppier, shallower. He was getting off on his words as much as you were. It always turned him on how fast he could reduce you to a mindless mess, cock-drunk, eyes glazed over.

“Y-yes, please,” you squeaked, voice already raw. He snickered lightly, moaning wantonly behind you, already starting to lose control.

“That’s my good girl. Good fucking slut,” he growled, the tip of his cock kissing your cervix. Hot spurts of cum painted your walls, Erik grinding slowly into you, coaxing more of his seed to spill out. You clamped down on him, cumming for the third time as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. After milking himself in your cunt, he stilled, draping his body over yours, pulling you close.

He hooked his chin over your shoulder, pressing soothing kisses on your cheek and neck. When your breathing went back to normal, he slowly pulled out. You sighed at the emptiness, clenching as his cum dripped out of your spent cunt. He stared for a moment, entranced by the mixture of fluids. His focused snapped back to you when you groaned, limbs already sore.

“I’ve got you, baby,” he whispered. He took you into his arms, gently lying down on the larger couch with you on top of him. He ran his fingers through your hair, lightly scratching your scalp. You hummed in contentment, feeling so so tired but also so full.

“You did so well for me. You’re always so good to me, baby.” His voice took a softer lilt, always the polar opposite after rough sessions. His touch felt warmer, lighter, more afraid to break you. “You can go to sleep if you want, okay? I’ll be here.”

With his reassurance, you let your eyes flutter shut. It didn’t take long for you to doze off, cheek pressed against his chest. He kept on playing with your hair and drumming his fingers against the base of your spine. He only stopped once he was sure you were deep into your slumber. 

────୨ৎ────

You woke up in your bed, way past dinner.

Bleary-eyed, the first thing you saw was Erik sitting by your desk, his back turned to you. You glanced down at yourself, discovering that you’ve been dressed in fresh clothes—one of your sleep tees and the boxers you stole from him. You stretched your limbs, wincing at the slight soreness in your lower half. Erik turned to you, hearing the rustling of your covers.

“Hey,” he smiled softly. You patted the empty space next to you, pouting at him. Your stomach grumbled, but you could hardly care. You just needed him close.

He climbed into bed, taking his place next to you under the covers. “You gonna stop being an asshole now?”

You snorted loudly, laughter like tinkling bells in his ears. He watched fondly as your eyes scrunched up. “Hello to you, too.”

“Sit up and drink some water, okay?” He took the glass placed on your nightstand, bringing it to your lips. You gladly accepted, the water quenching your parched throat. “I’ll order some takeout for a late, late dinner.”

“Did I get to help with the tattoo?” you murmured, still drowsy.

“I think I got it down, baby,” he smirked, pecking your lips. He wasn’t going to tell you that he never got a proper sketch because he kept staring at your tits. To his merit, he did try, but just got so distracted. It was going to be a problem for future Erik. Presently, Erik just wants to eat takeout and be with you. 

[clownhavoc]

I am incredibly proud of this cover I made for a project so you guys have to look at it :3

[flusteredfools]

Happy Valentine's Day, DCA Fans! I’m thankful for all the love and support this community has built and shared with each other; it’s honestly the best fandom space I’ve ever been in and has saved me from so much. I hope you all have a wonderful Valentine's Day and get to spend it with someone you care deeply about, online or in person, fictional or not!  ❤ You are loved! Please enjoy this little Valentine from a very small and grateful bear.

.˚₊✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ฅʕ ꈍ ᴥ ꈍʔฅજ⁀➴ ♡ ✧₊⁺⋆☾⋆.˚₊✩₊˚.

Our Love is Written Among the Stars

[Ao3 Link]

Summary:

They know this holiday is meant to be all hearts and roses but when it comes to defining a shape to represent their love; only stars come to mind. Their Starlight, Starbright, darling little Star, shooting across their daycare with a bright smile, the countless twinkling little stars that shine in your eyes and light up the whole room when you aim that smile at them… Yes, no other shape could represent their love more perfectly than a star. 

Valentine's Day. A day of love, passion, romance, expensive or overpriced gifts and meals; a day of contemplating your relationship status, griping about the ways of the heart and emotions then consuming copious amounts of sugar to make up for it. This year though, you had a new love, a curious and impossible love, a special valentine– sorry valentines . 

Your time working at the Pizzaplex certainly wasn’t always pleasant, hardly even bearable most days, but you had bills to pay and ends to meet so you always came back; even if you were always a little more tired and miserable each time. It wasn’t until a very close call with a flight of stairs and a very upset celestial bot showed up on your shift one night that that changed. 

Apparently Moon and Sun had both had enough of your lack of self-care and decided to do something about it; and well, you were certainly a lot healthier and happier ever since. And time took all the kindness and care and nurtured it into a flourishing relationship that was even more special than your average friendship; human or not. 

Which is what led you to now, staying late overnight at the Pizzaplex on Valentine’s Day, using inventory as an excuse when the reality is you were just going to spend the night hanging out with Sun and Moon. You walk into the plex with your overstuffed large duffle bag swinging off your hip; a change of clothing and some sleepwear doing their best to cushion the gifts you planned on sharing with Sun and Moon. 

For Sun you bought the largest heart shaped box of chocolates you could find; containing over fifty pieces of chocolates you very unselfishly made the sacrificial decision to eat by yourself so you could turn the package into one of those little arts and crafts kits. It took longer than you planned and was admittedly more difficult than you thought, but the look on his face when he thinks it’s chocolate– that he can’t eat mind you– and opens it up to find a personal little stash of art supplies and a sketchbook just for him; worth it. Worth every cut and hot glue burn. 

For Moon, you had ordered a very soft round cow that was posed mid jump and an equally soft moon shaped pillow embroidered with ���love you to the moon and back’. The pillow had a covered zipper pocket that had its own matching small fleece blanket inside, and three soft plush shaped stars that could light up as little hand held nightlights. The cow plush you sewed, with your very finest sewing stitches, onto the moon pillow by its feet–a reference to the silly rhyme he often acted out and sung to the children at naptime– to leave open and available its belly that had a bonus of a secret pocket that Moon could stash away whatever little treasures he’d like.

Sure there’s the small chance they wouldn’t like what you picked, that they’ll end up tucked away in their tower of a bedroom gathering dust and discarded glitter; but at least they would still have the experience of someone, other than their tiny superstars, giving them something for Valentines day to show they love the two AI’s. It’s the thought that counts and all that. 

You’ve finally made your way through the plex, hopping off the final step of the stairs and to the daycare doors; the mostly dark and appearing totally empty daycare. A small frown dusts your expression; worried that Sun and Moon forgot you three had a date tonight as you push open the large castle theme doors to step inside. The frown drops as you exhale a gasp. 

The daycare was mostly dark, yes, but there was a subtle glow from countless battery powered candles lining a path of red and pink construction paper petals; a path that winds and turns its way across the entirety of the daycare. Hanging from the ceiling, rafters and play structures were an astonishing amount of glittering stars; one of which hangs at the perfect height to be right in your face as you enter. 

Happy Valentine's Day Starlight! We’re awaiting at the end of the trail to start our very special totally legit inventory date! But please don’t rush; we would love for you to take a moment to admire all the stars! See you soon, Starbright!  -☾☀︎

A tiny giddy giggle parts your lips after you read the note; you wonder if they’ll let you keep this at the end of the night, you’ll frame it and hang it in your room. You step around the glittering gold hanging note and walk into another, this one with four points and silver; as it lightly spins you see something is written on the back of this one as well. 

If we had to count all the ways we love you, it would be like trying to count all the stars in the night sky. A daunting task

Another step on the trail, another shimmering star that pulls your attention; this one a deeper gold with eight pointed tips. 

 But not a pointless one; a worthwhile endeavor, it is to shower someone so dear with all our love and care.

The next is the color of tarnished silver.

Affection and joy they have shown and gifted us in spades; we only hope they too can see how lovely they are by the end.

You let go of the twinkling paper with lightly flushed cheeks and a stomach full of butterflies. Another hanging star, one of a purplish hue, twists in the air.

We adore your smile; we treasure your laugh. We love how you always greet everyone, even on days you don’t want to greet yourself. The way you puff up your cheeks when eating. Or scrunch your nose in thought. How gently you hold our hand. The soft way you whisper to avoid waking anyone up at naptime. How you hum songs to yourself while cleaning. That silly dance you do up and down the stairs when you think no one is watching. 

You’re not even more than fifteen steps into the daycare now and your face is burning and heart racing wildly. You glance around the daycare again; the innumerable hanging stars still softly glowing in the faint candle light on your path. 

Your mind starts wondering how long must it have taken them both to make them all, let alone hang them all up in time after closing, but most importantly, your mind simply can’t get over that each glittering crafted star seems to really contain something they love about you; your heart overflowing with each new step you take, your soul slowly taking in just how much you are loved.

[tribalauthor]

CHAPTER 6 •FAVORS• (2.7K)

previous chapter

"Lawyers' weekend?" Roman's teenage daughter looked confused when he explained her he will be away.

"I am as confused as you." he replied as he zipped his little suitcase.

"How did you even agree to this?"

"Richard signed us up without even asking." the dad explained half of the story.

"Who knows, you might become friends with the attorneys from the other companies." she said jokingly and Roman gave Josephine a skeptical look. "Or even a new fling."

"No chance. Me with a lawyer again?" he shook his head.

"Ey, mom doesn't count." she snapped back.

"She counts. Doesn't matter she didn't become one, I still take it." Roman hit the dad pose and started thinking if he is forgetting something.

"And now I gotta be with her and Oscar." Josephine looked unpleasant because of this fact.

"Is he that bad?"

"He is not a bad person but he is just so pretentious. Everything is a reference book for this guy, it's annoying. He is also very old." she added and Roman chuckled.

"He is just 5 years older than me...but he does look like a grandpa kinda." he continued with the taunting and Jo laughed as well.

"And sounds like it, oh my God. I don't know what mom likes about him. Not to mention that his sons are extra obnoxious. The young one thinks he was British in his previous live and speaks in British accent. It's so cringe." Josephine vented to her father about how weird that family is.

"Good gracious, are you kidding me?" Roman couldn't believe his ears and his daugher shook her head.

"Nope."

"I am sorry I am doing this to you, sweetie." he wrapped his hands around his daugher then kissed her on the head but she started coughing.

"You are wearing unhealthy amount of cologne, dad." she went away.

"Am I?" he started smelling himself.

"Yeah. Like is this a new technique to keep the women away from you?" she normalilzed her breath.

"Something like it." the father smirked slightly.

"Look. I think it's time to have the talk. Don't avoid women because of me. You know I am an accepting person. All I'm asking is for her to be normal and tolerate me. That's it." she spoke and Roman was taken aback by her level of maturity. "And not try to be my mom."

"Why are you like this?" Roman dragged Josephine for a hug again and she held her breath. "So mature and well-mannered. Girls your age usually get crazy, they have boyfr-" as he was speaking, he put Jo away and looked at her in the eyes. "You don't have a boyfriend, right?"

"No." she replied immediately.

"Are you sure?"

"Dad..."

"Okay." he dragged her for a hug again. "If you have a boyfriend, he is dead.

"I can't believe you are gonna spend a whole weekend with hottie." Vanessa said as her and Monique entered in another botique to pick a dress.

"I can't believe that I agreed to this." the Italian woman shook her head.

"Yeah, you let him be inside of you God knows how many times but you are worried about a weekend with him, logical." the dark skinned woman rolled her eyes.

They were looking at the dresses but didn't like anything until they saw the dress.

Monique was waiting for Roman with her little black suitcase she stuffed with the dress, with a tracksuit, pajamas and sexy lingerie. Whatever the weekend brings her.

She still doesn't know why she agreed to all of this. Probably because of the money but thinking about it, how much is this man going to give her? And then almost half of it is for Samuel. She has no idea, however, that Roman made a deal with Samuel not to take a cent from what Monique earns this weekend.

The place they arranged to meet is in front of the cafeteria they accidentally met last week. Monique didn't want Roman to know her place of living.

So there she was - with her black sunglasses, tight, black top with deep cleavage and no bra underneath, slim fit dark blue jeans and black sandal heels. Her natural curly hair was styled in a ponytail and her makeup is natural.

Monique saw a black Porsche pulling up right next to her, the window rolling down and there he is - Mr. Lawyer who is wearing black sunglasses. Roman is completely mesmerised by this woman every time he sees her. No matter what she wears, how she styled her hair, Monique is almost like unreal to him.

"Are you lost, Miss Bambi?" he asked playfully but Monique didn't feel like joking and just got into the car without saying anything.

Then she buckled her seatbelt.

"So what do you want me to be? Arrogant? Obnoxious? Lovey-dovey?" she cut to the chase.

"I want you to be yourself. Surprise me." he shrugged and the stripper chuckled.

"I can't be myself. I gotta come up with fake profession and fake love story about us. So you decide, Christopher Nolan. What do you want me to be?" she asked again with even more attitude and Roman just started excessively blinking from that specific attitude from the woman then fired up the engine.

He thought about this a lot and by his assumptions, she was severely hurt by someone in the past. He could tell that.

"Let's say we met in a dance class."

"You in dance class?" Monique furrowed her eyebrows, trying to visualize a man like Roman dancing. "Okay, dance class." she gave up because he calls the shots - he is the director.

"Think about if you want to use your real name or something else."

"Monique is perfectly fine. You don't like it?" she raised her eyebrow at him.

"Okay. Monique." this is the second time she hears her new name coming out from Roman and he says it just so smoothly that it scratches her brain. "What's the last name?"

"Davis."

"Monique Davis." he repeated quietly and it scratched her brain again. The woman hates the effects Roman has on her, maybe that's why she behaves like this.

"What about you, big guy? What's the full name?" she finally asked him normally.

"Roman Reigns."

"Reigns." she nodded her head. "Okay and how long have we been dating?"

"A month. Oh, a little background information. I am 40 years old and a divorced dad of one."

"What?" Monique tried her best to keep a stone cold expression.

"Divorced." he repeated, underlying. "Long before we even met."

"Okay and what about the kid?" suddenly, Monique started to care. She loves kids, since she worked as a dance teacher in school.

"She is at her mother's who lives in her boyfriend's house." all of the sudden, Monique has a lot of questions about this whole situation but also answers.

This explains why he fucks her so good like he has something to prove. His wife probablh left him for another man and the nonchalant woman became curious why did this happen but of course, she didn't want to ask questions.

"I hope the kid isn't too traumatized." that's all she managed to say.

"She is not a kid, she is a full blown teenager." Roman sense with a note of bittersweetness in his tone.

"You are a girl dad?" Monique was rather shocked and looked at him up and down. "Couldn't have guessed."

"Well, it's hard to guess stuff like this while we do adult activities." the lawyer said in a matter of fact tone and Monique had no other choice but to agree with him cause he is right.

They stopped the car at the bus station. The appointment was for the lawyers to wait for each other there and they are going to travel to the hotel by bus.

"So extra and unnecessary." Roman groaned when Richard told him the setup plan the other day.

"Well, we are here. Get ready to meet people so dry, the Mojave desert doesn't stand a chance." Roman warned Monique and she started laughing.

He is funny, she thought.

"I can play dry and snobby too. I've mastered that role perfectly." the exotic dancer remarked, reminiscing about the days where she was Phil's girlfriend.

"Whatever you like. I told you. I have no preferences." Roman replied and she nodded, getting ready to get out of the car.

"Wait." he said and got out first then went to open her door. Monique got out of the car and suddenly, she became the hot chick from the rom-com movies. Getting out with such grace, revealing herself to the group of waiting people.

All eyes were on her because nobody expected Roman to appear with a woman and also because Monique is an incredibly attractive woman. In the meantime Roman grabbed their bags and then walked together to the big group.

"Hey, y'all." the Samoan man greeted them.

"So in mergers, you guys just merge with concept of time too?" one of the attorneys from Vires Law made aksed a sharp question.

"Correct." Roman replied nonchalantly. "Especially when you have a hot girlfriend to merge with." he replied and pulled Monique by her waist.

One woman was intensely staring at Monique from head to toe. Her name is Sarah and she is Willow's best friend from college, she works in TL Group. They still keep in touch.

"Hi." she approached the couple.

"Sarah." Roman greeted looking at the honey blonde woman with light brown skin.

"Didn't know you would bring company." Sarah spoke as she looked at Monique again. "Does Willow know about her?"

"No. It's none of her business." Roman shrugged.

"Nice to meet you, Sarah." Monique decided to include herself in the awkward conversation. "My name is Monique." the two women did a handshake.

"So when exactly were you planning to tell me you have a girlfriend, you fraud?" Richard was still surprised.

"How brazen of you to call me such names when you were the one who signed us for this absurdity without my permission." Roman replied to him but quietly since they were in the bus already.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our little Law Trip." a rather young man came out at the podium. He looks not exactly like a rookie but like a person who has just a few years in the business. He is approaching his late 20s and he got that boyish look in him. "I know we are in Sin City but since we obey the law, we do not commit any sins. But tonight at the Canon Gala we can do whatever we want. Since we, Vires Law, are the hosts, we prepared some special things such as stand up comedy, karaoke battles and dance battles." Roman and Richard looked at each other with horror.

"These guys completely lost their minds." the Samoan man concluded.

"A lawyer doing a stand up comedy? Bet my butt he asked Chat GPT." Richard remarked and the group that formed laughed.

After the big group was accomodated in the beautiful, luxurious hotel, everyone started preparing for the upcoming gala.

Roman and Monique are in one room, of course and the woman feels a bit nervous from all of this. It's been a while she spent time with a man like that.

They took a shower separately. Monique went first and Roman was second. However, while he was in the shower, his phone was ringing and Monique couldn't help but peek at the screen and she saw the name Willow.

That must be his ex-wife, she thought.

"It's good to wash away the bad energy I collected in this fucking bus." Roman got out of the shower and the view is just breathtaking - his hair was all down and wet, his naked chest was covered in waterdrops, the signature big tattoo.

Monique's mouth slightly dropped. This man's beauty never fails to amaze her and now she knows why she jumped at him the way she did from the very start.

Any woman in her position would do the same thing.

Matter of fact, she feels like getting up, removing that towel and give him a blowjob but she has to keep her composure and tell him what's going on.

"Your phone was ringing." she spoke and looked away.

"Perhaps it's my little angel." he said and ran to check his phone. He got a big storm coming.

"What does she want?" Monique hear Roman murmur.

"Perhaps it's something with your kid. You better call her back." she decided to give him a wise advice and the second she said that the phone rang again.

"No need." he replied and picked up. "Hello." his tone changed drastically - it was a weird mixture between annoyed and cold.

"A girlfriend. When were you planning to tell me? Does Jo know?"

"No. Jo doesn't know about this but I see your source is faster than I thought." he replied and Monique immediately understood what is going on.

"When were you planning to tell me?"

"Whenever you were planning to tell me about your new fling which was never because I caught you, remember?" Roman clapped back at his irritated ex-wife, not caring Monique is listening. All the puzzle piecies start to come with her now. It's an ego crusher to be cheated on, especially if you catch this on 4K.

"She is young, I understood."

"She is younger than you, yes." he said and Monique felt extremely awkward.

"I wanna meet her." Willow declared.

"What?" Roman didn't expect this.

"I have the right to know about the woman you are going to bring in our home to our kid."

"Don't you dare call it 'our home', it's my home and Josephine's. You understand?" Monique felt the pressure and now she realizes the case is deeper than she imagined.

"You got me. I want to meet her. Think about when both of you are free. Let's do a meeting, you, her, me and Oscar."

"Oh my God." Roman rolled his eyes at the absurdity he is hearing.

"Or you are not serious. Is she just a one-night stand or what?"

"She is not a one-night stand. She is my woman. My ideal woman, by the way." he said and Monique looked at him with horror. She didn't like what she was hearing.

"Okay. Good for you. But I gotta meet her first and see if she can hang around with my kid that I gave birth to." Willow snapped back.

"I know you gave birth to her but it's 50/50, you know? She is my kid too."

"Pick a day." Willow said completely ignoring him.

"I gotta talk to Monique first and let you know. Also, don't you dare tell Jo. I am gonna be the one to say this." Roman warned her.

"Certainly I am not doing your dirty work, yes."

"Goodbye." Roman said and hung up then looked at confused Monique.

She heard everything she needed to know what's happening and by the puppy look in his eyes, she was certain he is gonna ask her another favor.

"No." she said.

"Please." he put his palms together in a praying position.

"Not a chance." Monique was certain.

"I'm gonna pay you double."

"Roman...it's not about the money. Let me get this straight, your ex-wife found out about our fake relationship, you had the audacity to tell her we are serious and now she wants to see me and you would want to pretend we are so in love."

"You should have heard her how she sounded, I got to make her even more mad." he giggled and then turned all serious again. "Please, Monique. I beg you."

The view of that enormous masculine man begging desperately, not even in a sexual way, turned Monique on a little bit.

"I hate lies, by the way. They can be very damaging but I will agree to play your little game, alright." she finally agreed and it was solely curiosity - to see how his ex-wife looks like and the man she left Roman for.

He better be Ryan Gosling or something cause it makes absolutely no sense to leave a man who fucks like Roman does, Monique thought. But then remembered that not everything is about sex.

"Thank you." he breathed out and threw himself on the bed. Now his muscular big body is lying there and the white towel hiding the magic wand that makes Monique feel out of this world.

"Should we do a little celebration?" she asked him as she slid her hand in the towel. Roman licked his lips, trying to surpress the wave of excitement that electrified his whole body.

next chapter

[lakesbian]

hm… freaque 📓

📓 A headcanon about their hobbies

yaaay a silly one :) alec like all of the undersiders does not have a lot of time for a rich hobby life but he 'slacks off' by taylor, brian, and lisa standards so he's got a lil more free time than them. he's not very good at picking up new hobbies or learning things because "it's boring" (read: he has depression) but he likes his art and video games and movies. i think when he was a kid he was really into hiding and drawing for hours to pass the time and he made up a bunch of 7 year old typical OCs. they were all really strong and tough and cool and could fly and so on but really terrible things happened to all of them all the time anyway. not a single happy ending in any of those comics.

he stopped drawing as much when he entered The Pussy Mind Palace from ages ten thru thirteen but then tried it again after he joined the undersiders, discovered he still liked it and was still good at it, and decided to branch out into other mediums (particularly graffiti) for fun too. now he's really into drawing extremely cool undersider costume/emblem/base designs he'll never show them. and sketches of things he saw recently that he thought were interesting. he's drawn all of the other undersiders at least once as a "well i'm bored and the costumes are pretty cool i guess" thing. totally draws himself as regent looking all Cool and Badass and Maybe Even Having A Throne. absolutely tried to act all irony poisoned and detached and uninterested when aisha found the entire page in his sketchbook that was just her doing cool stuff as imp but he's not fooling her. she saw that concept drawing of them Posing Badassly with matching costumes. once every like 30 sketchbook pages there's just the most violent gore and/or sex act and/or both at once you've ever seen, which he thinks says absolutely nothing about him. yes he uses reference images to make sure he fully grasps what exploded heads look like.

oh and he loves being like "i am going to draw something ironically, as a joke, and then post it to PHO, also ironically, as a joke, to troll them, as a joke, ironically." and then he spends 5 hours meticulously drawing something that could, if you turn your head 90 degrees, squint, and assume the most conservative mindset humanly possible, theoretically be mildly inflammatory to someone somewhere. and posts it and reads and likes all of the comments complimenting it.

he kinda sucks at video games btw. there's, like, one (1) he's spent enough time on to be good at and he's smug about it but outside of that he's just genuinely not very naturally good at them. his depth perception is fine and everything he's just not very good at concentrating on strategizing for long enough because there's no actual threat to his life to get his brain going. he totally overinflated his perception of how good he is because brian is Even Worse and he won those incompetent v. incompetent matchups like 75% of the time but then he starts playing aisha and just gets his ass handed to him 9/10 times

[anarcho-physicist]

Observable limits and Active Matter

Here’s an interesting question you might like to consider:

What is something we all have in common?

I don’t mean just all of us on the internet, nor just all humans, not even just all sentient life on Earth. What is something we, sentient beings, have universally in common, even with an alien life form from halfway across the galaxy?

We are all observers of the same universe.

Barring any sci fi brain-in-a-vat scenarios, which I think we can safely ignore due to the extraordinary lack of evidence, we all do one thing in common: we take in information about, and react to, the behavior of surrounding matter. We all notice universal, reproducible patterns in this behavior. Some of these patterns are observed by pretty much everyone, such as if you pick something up off the ground and release it, it’ll fall back down. Other patterns are only noticed if you look really hard for them. One example: beams of light always seem to travel at the exact same speed in vacuum, no matter how you measure them.

We, beings of matter, leverage these universal patterns to make predictions about the future. This helps us accomplish abstract tasks put forth by the particularly excitable matter (read: brains) within our skulls. Locomotion, consumption, communication, all possible actions by a sentient being come down to our ability to make observations of the universe, find patterns in those observations, and make predictions from those patterns.

Physics is the hunt for universality; it is the attempt to track down all of these universal patterns, and to understand them in the language they’re written in. Or as close as we can get to it, at least.

Observation is a fundamental part of physics. It is what separates the discipline from mathematics, in which the lack of comparison to experiments means that all mathematical frameworks are equally interesting, and thus (please don’t be mad at me mathematicians) equally uninteresting. In physics, theories must stand the test of predicting the outcomes of experiments performed by observers, and so must make some sort of reference to limits of observability. As I’ll spend the rest of this essay discussing, embracing these limits as a fundamental part of doing physics grants us a richer understanding of the field as a whole, and even leads to the development of entirely new fields of physics, like the study of active matter.

So let's talk about observers!

There are some restrictions on what types of information any given observer can take in. An observer can only collect information about finite regions of spacetime; nobody can see the entire history of the universe all at once (barring the existence of certain types of deities, but as far as we can tell, we can’t see any of those either). 

If you rest your hand on a hot stove, you don’t need to know what the weather was like on Venus 20,000 years ago in order to decide whether to pull your hand away. All of the “relevant” information you need to know about the state of your body is contained within a finite region of spacetime immediately around your body. The spatial extent of this region, which physicists usually call the system size (L), depends on how far into the future you’re trying to predict. Suppose we amend the hot stove scenario: now, along with the immediate danger posed by the stove, there is also a meteorite falling through the atmosphere directly above you, ready to squash you where you currently stand in about 20 seconds. Let’s assume your goal (like many organisms) is to try to reduce your own experience of physical pain, using your observations of the universe to predict how to maneuver your body’s position within it to do so. If you only try to extend your predictions over the next few milliseconds, then the system size relevant to understand the dynamics of your body’s motion is only the surrounding few meters containing your body and the stove. If you want to live longer than the next 20 seconds, however, your system size now needs to extend way up into the atmosphere; pick a system size too small, and you’ll be unpleasantly surprised by your inability to predict the dynamics.

Einstein gave us an upper limit to the system size: the light cone. Any dynamics occurring over a time span Δt can only be affected by matter which is spatially closer to it than Δx = c Δt, where c is the speed of light. However, most of the matter that we as observers can actually observe moves much slower than the speed of light, so (unless you’re a particle physicist) you can usually get away with picking a much smaller system size. 

System size, however, is not the only bound on observers’ ability to collect information. When you react to the hot stove, your hand isn’t individually counting up all of the photons and phonons it receives from the stove, sending that number up to your brain, and deciding it exceeds a safety threshold. Rather, the nerve cells in your hand notice the resulting physical and chemical changes in the behavior of the cells surrounding it, and sends up a signal conveying that information. All of the microscopic details of heat exchange between the stove and the hand have been coarse-grained away, leaving only information about the emergent patterns of behavior above some minimal length scale. This lower length scale has different names in different fields. If we were doing particle physics, we’d call it a “UV cutoff” (in contrast to the system size as an “IR cutoff”). In computer graphics, you can think of it as the resolution of an image. Since I’m a condensed matter physicist, I’m used to calling it the lattice spacing (a). This name originates from the consideration of the physics of crystals (“hard” condensed matter), in which atoms are arranged neatly on a periodic lattice. The term extends more broadly than to crystals, however; many calculations on non-crystalline systems involve divvying up space into a lattice, so the term lattice spacing can be used even in the context of systems with no physical lattices in sight.

Note that these limits apply equally well to time as to space (time is, after all, just space with a minus sign). Any measurement can only record data over some finite extent of measurement time, giving us an upper limit time scale T.  Furthermore, data can only be recorded up to some maximum frequency, limited by how fast your measurement device can move (which is in turn limited by how much stored energy you can access). This defines a lower limit timescale τ, the temporal analogue to the lattice spacing a.

Let’s recap. Any observer can only take in information about some finite region of the universe. This region is defined by an upper length scale L and time scale T, and a lower length scale a and time scale τ. The observer is then only able to notice patterns in the behavior of matter that occur on scales in between these two limits; anything going on at scales larger than L & T or smaller than a & τ is fundamentally inaccessible to the observer. 

Why is this important? Well, as physicists, our goal is to explain the outcomes of measurements; to understand precisely why we make the observations we do, and predict as accurately as possible the outcomes of future measurements. As famously discussed by P. W. Anderson in his seminal article More is Different, as we make measurements over different length and time scales, new, unpredictable patterns emerge. As you try to extend the gap between the lower and upper length scales, the amount of information you record at each moment in time grows at least as fast as (L/a)^d, where d is the spatial dimensionality of the system (d=3 for most experiments). So, unless we manage to develop computers with effectively infinite computational power and storage space, we will never be able to predict the macroscopic elasticity of rubber or the motion of a cell crawling across a plate from the scattering cross sections of quarks and leptons. 

Thus, if our goal is to explain all of the patterns we can observe throughout the universe, physicists need to take a divide and conquer approach. The ranks of particle physicists are composed of people who think the most interesting thing to do is to push down the lower length scale as far as they can. On the opposite side of the spectrum are cosmologists, setting the upper length scale as large and all-encompassing as possible. Most physicists find their interest in patterns somewhere in between. The lower limits of astrophysicists are often measured in AU, and the upper limits in light years. Atomic, molecular, and optical physicists tend to pick lower limits on the order of the size of a nucleon, and upper limits around the Bohr radius, firmly in the regime of quantum mechanics. 

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A quick aside: I personally think the most interesting patterns of all show up in condensed matter physics, which broadly covers length scales down from about the Bohr radius up to the order of centimeters. I find this regime particularly interesting for a few reasons: 

First, it covers the crossover from the dominance of classical physics at larger scales to the relevance of quantum physics at smaller ones. 

Second, it’s a regime in which there is no clear dominant force. At the extremely small scales of particle physics, gravity is so weak as to be experimentally inaccessible. On the massive scales of astrophysics, gravity is the only accessible force. In condensed (and particularly soft) matter, every force is important; The nuclear forces for keeping the smallest building blocks together, the electromagnetic force for governing interactions between these building blocks, and gravity in determining the large-scale responses of the system. 

Third, thanks to chemical bonding occurring at the lower end of the relevant length scales to condensed matter, this field has the most diverse set of building blocks and types of interactions to play with out of any field of physics. Because there are simply so many different ways for atoms to come together, condensed matter remains the least-explored, most mysterious experimentally accessible frontier of physics. 

Finally, humans, as well as all other biological creatures, exist within the length scales defined by condensed matter physics. We are condensed matter. Improving our understanding of the emergent patterns produced by large collections of atoms and molecules improves our understanding of ourselves.

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You might be reading all of this and scratching your head at something. How can we just ignore everything outside of our field of view? Shouldn’t that stuff still affect the dynamics of whatever system we’re trying to observe, even if we can’t see it? 

Well, yes! In actuality, most of physics is done under the approximation that the matter you’re trying to understand is in a closed system. This is physics-speak for essentially pretending that nothing else exists other than these specific things you’re interested in. This massively simplifies the problem you’re trying to solve, and is often a pretty good approximation for predictions of well-designed experiments. It is not, however, a very realistic description of most matter as it actually exists. If you’re interested only in equilibrium properties of matter, i.e. the features about it which don’t evolve with time, then you can use the very clever machinery of statistical mechanics to stick on an equilibrium reservoir, allowing you to model the exchange of heat and particles with a surrounding environment. At this point, you’re now studying an open system.

Open systems, broadly defined, are an incredibly active area of research in physics at the moment, spanning across many different subfields. The equilibrium statistical mechanics description has been incredibly successful for describing phenomena at equilibrium. Most of the matter we observe, most of the world we live in, is not at equilibrium. The most interesting phenomena (in my opinion) are dynamical in nature, and often involve the transfer of energy across wide ranges of length- and time-scales.

A familiar example of something like this is viscosity. If you place your finger in a bucket of water and draw it quickly across the surface, energy will be transferred from your finger to the atoms in the water. They will initially all move in the same direction, forming a coherent structure at a massive length scale: the length of your finger. Over time, however, instabilities will cause this structure to break up into vortices, which will in turn each break up into smaller and smaller vortices, cascading down until the vortices reach the size of individual molecules. At this point, molecules are no longer moving coherently in the same direction, they’re randomly bumping into each other. Our lattice spacing of observability is larger than the length scale associated with dissipation, since we can’t see the motion of individual molecules. So what we observe is an open system: one where energy is driven into it at the largest scales (the finger’s length), which then cascades down until it effectively disappears at the smallest scales.

Driven viscous fluids are a good example of open systems, but they’ve been known about and studied for a very long time, which doesn’t make them all that exciting to me personally (though I know there are still many fluid dynamicists out there who would disagree with me violently). Instead, I’d like to conclude by connecting this to my favorite type of open system: active matter.

Instead of energy being driven in at large scales and cascading down to small scales as in the previous example, in active matter, this cascade is reversed. Energy enters into the system at the smallest scales through any number of phenomena, perhaps the driving of molecular motors in a bath of ATP molecules. This input of energy couples to the individual particles which the system is made of (for example, microtubule filaments in active nematics), which then in turn interact with each other to produce entirely new, never-before-seen, physics-breaking classes of collective emergent phenomena at larger scales. 

My favorite example of this is 2-D flocking. The Mermin-Wagner theorem says 2-D systems with broken continuous symmetries cannot form ordered phases at nonzero temperatures. And yet, in one of the first active matter models known as the Vicsek model, they found an ordered phase: flocking!

[Source for this beautiful gif: Francesco Turci]

It turns out, the theorem applied only in equilibrium, leading to the realization that there must be all kinds of entirely new phases and phenomena in active, many body systems!

This is a very new field of physics, with the first serious forays into active matter starting only in the ‘90s. It also just so happens that almost all biological matter is active matter, meaning that the beautiful new universal patterns to be discovered in active matter physics might eventually shine new light on our understanding of life itself.

[snoozydeer]

Monthly Summary - December

I started December working on my final piece. Initially, I planned to create character references using Gummy’s brushes, which I had previously practiced rendering my Jelly Cat with. However, my experience showed that rendering a more detailed character would take even longer than expected. I couldn’t afford to spend that much time on it, so I decided to scrap the idea and leave my character as a coloured sketch. I also experimented with creating more simplistic characters. My initial plan was to make a full illustration with a background, but I realized that the designs I had chosen might be too overwhelming in a backgrounded composition. I sketched several pages using various Sylvanian Family toys as references, but none of the results satisfied me, so I returned to my original idea.

At this point, I decided to start watching the course Exploring Landscapes: Travel-Inspired Gouache Paintings in Procreate by Yifat Fishman. The first few lessons focused on collecting references and making thumbnails for future illustrations. This helped me a lot in creating an interesting composition and selecting the best one to develop further. I refined two selected sketches, adding colour to them, and I was proud of the results.

The following week, we had to create cards for the pop-up shop. Although it wasn’t required, I chose a holiday theme. I was simply in the holiday spirit and thought it would be both more fun and more marketable. I spent a lot of time brainstorming ideas, but in the end, I was inspired by a card design featuring a Christmas tree in the center with a different character in each corner. The card was divided into four sections, creating four different cards. I found this idea compelling and decided to create something similar. My design featured forest animals—two birds, a squirrel, a fox, and a rabbit. Each contributing in their own way to bringing the tree to life. Since this was intended as a risograph print, I limited the design to only two colours to reduce the number of layers per print and streamline the process. However, when I attempted to print it, I ran into issues. The scanner, which reads black-and-white images, failed to pick up any opacity below 40-50%, while anything over 60% became over-saturated. It wasn’t until I asked the tutors that I learned some students were allowed to use USBs for printing, which made the process much easier and resulted in better colour accuracy. I’ve been here for years and had never been told about this. It’s frustrating to think of all the stress I could have avoided. In the end, I simply created a digital version of the print, and I’m quite happy with it.

During the third week, I didn’t feel like continuing my final piece because I liked how my sketches looked and was a bit afraid of ruining them. Instead, I focused on creating 5-10 sketches of dynamic poses each day. By the end of the week, I could see my sketching ability improving. I also was watching tutorials on YouTube and experimented with background drawing using the selection/lasso tool, but I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the results.

Later that week, I sketched out some sticker ideas I was considering selling on Etsy. However, I lacked the motivation to finish them at the time, so I set them aside as a potential future project.

That’s how this month ended. With the holidays approaching, I didn’t want to work through the little time I had off. While this month may not have been as productive as others, I still laid the groundwork for my final pieces, which I will continue working on next month.

[uinferno]

Something I learned recently as an artist that took me 10 years to settle in is how to balance the different parts of art. I don't mean like composition, value, form, etc. I mean different exercises that are in complete opposition with one another are equally important. Honest to God just learned this right now.

Like, there's taking things slow, really chewing on artistic principles. Doing studies, breaking down reference images and going through the meticulous push and pull of refining your drawing. That's what I personally have basically been doing for a while now.

However, there's also a virtue of throwing all of that to the wind and seeing just how fast you can get stuff done. One of my art professors for a life drawing class told a story about a pottery class. He said that in that class that professor would tell the students at the beginning of the semester they could choose to be graded between two options. The first was quality. They had to make a single pot for the entire semester, and would be graded on how well made that one pot was. The second was quantity. When the semester was over, the professor would take out a scale, put all the pots on it, and if it reached a certain weight they'd pass.

Our professor told us that the students who picked the quantity option ended up producing better pots by the end of the semester than the quality students. Because the cycle of making and completing pieces was invaluable. They were able to bounce back from their mistakes much more quickly because all they cared about was getting stuff done.

This life drawing class ended up being my boon and bane. At this point, I was a "quality" student. I'd take my time with pieces pushing and pulling at the lines to get things just right. When I signed up for the class, my most common subject was people, so I thought it would be easy. However, the thing about life drawings is that there's an actual model before you, and they're not always very good at staying still, especially depending on the pose. So when the 20 or so minutes were up, I would have like a single arm done and nothing else. I had to push myself to achieve something in those 20 minutes. I was the slowest artist in the class. I knew much more theory and fundamentals, but none of that mattered cause I had nothing to show for it. Then poses started getting shorter. 15. 10. 8. 5. 2 minute poses. There was no time to analyze I simply had to draw.

Over the course of that semester I got better of reaching those time limits. By the time it was over, I put down my charcoal and returned to my drawing tablet. Art took me so long that I can only focus so much on an outlet at a time. I could either take classes or draw in my free time. Never both. When I started drawing over the summer, I noticed something: I was faster. My poses were better. I was able to sketch, ink, color and shade a piece in three days. That never happens, it would take me a month to get things just right beforehand. Yet now, even with art pieces where I was allowed to be slow, my speed improved greatly.

And this is because I was put in a class that looked at me and said "I don't want quality. I just need finished pieces. You need to turn in a piece every day." Yet this isn't the "lesson" I'm talking about. I think it's actually very much both. Quality and quantity.

You need to spend long hours breaking down anatomy or values or other fundamentals, to really digest them. You also need to put your feet to the fire and just get shit done. They're both very important skills to learn. Focusing on quality builds up your repertoire and artistic encyclopedia so you can produce artwork from a place of understanding. Focusing on quantity, meanwhile, is all about going through the motions. Learning when to accept "good enough" and apply the knowledge gained from your long-form studies and turn them into instincts. This lets you go back to the studies and build upon your knowledge using the shortcuts gained, continue building up more details to your skills.

Without ever focusing on quality, you will be repeating the same artistic mistakes over and over again with minimal improvement, never actually learning anything.

Without focusing on quantity you'll be so caught up in the details and the studies that you'll be stuck at step 1 indefinitely, breaking down each new part and be cursed to never finish a piece.

Focusing on one is already hard enough, so two would be difficult. However, as a part of the greater process, you don't need to focus on both at once. So long as you keep cycling through taking your time to get things right, and forcing yourself to get things done on dietary occasions, each practice will feed into themselves and each other far more than anything in isolation.

[hauntedtotem]

Do you have any drawing tips?

•When it comes to digital art, if you struggle making lines clean or sharp enough, using a textured brush erases that struggle because the whole point is not being clean or sharp.

^left is obvious where mistakes were made and had to be erased, looks choppy and needs cleaned up. right does not need cleaned up much. saves time and energy!

•if a drawing looks a little too bland or unfinished, but you don't know what else to do about it, adding a texture overlay does a lot, especially for solid backgrounds

•For both traditional and digital artists, do👏art👏studies👏. No, this doesn't mean sign up for expensive art classes, it means spend a page in a sketchbook just practicing one thing. So instead of drawing say, a character portrait like usual, have a page that's just full of hands in different poses (use references! Very important for studies!)

2016 example, but you can tell which ones had references (hint: only 3 of them did,but they're way better than the rest)

the only recent example I had was an unfinished page of bird skulls :/

Which brings me toooo

Learning to draw realistic skeletons can also really help with anatomy, if your character looks wonky, think "could a skeleton fit in there?"

Thinking abt how their skeleton looks can help notice things like the eyes being too high up or the mouth being too low, or having no room for a brain

*this is not a dig at people with this style! It's okay to have more exaggerated features and you don't need to draw realism! The skeleton rule does not apply to cartoony characters obviously. Just some advice from someone that used to put the mouth too low all the time

•if you get stuck where you feel like you aren't improving, try different art styles out.

•If you have art block and don't know what to draw, try the 'dtiys' or 'draw this in your style' tags and pick something there, or do screenshot redraws from games or shows

•If you usually listen to music when you draw but it's just not doing it atm, switch to something like long YouTube commentary videos or documentaries, and vise versa. Sometimes the brain wants music, sometimes it wants information or gossip. When you get burned out from one go to the other

•this applies to traditional and digital art too! If you have art block on one medium, switch to another! If digital isn't working, grab a pencil or paintbrush, or play with some clay! Sometimes the brain isn't bored of art, it's just bored of the medium.

•If you're trying realism and struggling, break it down to simple rules.

And I don't mean the shape thing everyone suggests, I mean things like "the inner corner of the eye lines up with the mouth, the outer corner of the eyes lines up with the ears, your nose bridge leans into your eyebrows, feet are the same length as your elbow to your wrist, use the collar bone to guide the shoulder position, the armpit curves into the breast, etc.

*this doesn't apply to everyone or every expression! Remember the mouth moves around and comes in all shapes, it's a very loose "rule", and people's eyes aren't always the same distance or angle, just keep the ear around that general eye area

Glasses test: can your character wear glasses?

carlos passes glasses test- a better rule for mouths is to imagine smile lines, even if whoever youre drawing doesnt have wrinkles, theyre a good guide for mouth placement

•doing color palette challenges can help practice composition and shading with abnormal colors, and helps understand color theory

•for digital, you can overlay colors over a drawing to make the palette more uniform. Don't be shy abt messing around with it

•Watch speedpaints! Watch pencil animation clips! It helps

•don't be afraid to use your art supplies. Ik the struggle of "but I don't wanna waste it", but that paint will go bad if you keep it on a shelf for years! Use it already! Doodle in the "fancy" sketchbook! Yolo!!

•use cyan and magenta for mixing paint, not blue and red. The "primary colors" rule doesn't always apply to all mediums.

•keep your old art! Do not tear it up or throw it out just because you're not proud of it, it's cool to reflect or even redraw it years down the line (backup your digital art somewhere, even the ones not posted online because your computer could just die one day for no reason and take everything with it. It sucks)

•IF you sketch on paper and then digitalize it later, you can draw the pieces seperately and photoshop them together. So dont worry if you drew a really good hand but it's at the slightly wrong angle, or too far away from the body. You can put it where it needs to be without having to erase and redraw it

[lilblueorchid]

Thought process and easter egg on the Digimon Anniversary Illustration! 

Hello everyone, today I feel like explaining some stuff over my Digimon Illustration, mostly why I drew thing this way or point out some little details and easter eggs you might have missed. ;)

Click on read more if you want a LENGTHLY explanation with a lot of rambling from me, or if not you can just enjoy the process gif. <3 

The Digimon illustration was a special one for me for different reasons. Firstly, obviously, Digimon! It was a show I grew up with, and I find it quite fitting that after a tough year of graduation movie under a pandemic, in which I really experienced the pain of growing up, I ended up finding back Digimon. 

Secondly, as a child, I remember spending HOURS looking for fanarts online! I would save all the ones I found pretty and keep them preciously, i still have the folders actually haha. While pursuing art, I always had in mind thatI wanted one day to make a fanart my child self would have gone crazy over! And, i think I achieved that with that one haha. 

Anyway LET’S START! Shall we? 

First off : the illustration process

When I do an illustration I always do a quick draft first, and most of the time, in colors. I think I’m more of a “color” person than a “line” person, I tend to need to see colors quickly in order to see if it’s ok. 

For this one, I’ve always had in mind it would be a double illustration, with the older Tai’s silhouette acting as a frame for the children illustration. It was a bit tricky, I had to make the children illustration fit nicely into his silhouette, it was hassle around the neck area, that’s why I made little Taichi stand up haha. Also used Mimi’s hat to balance the picture : the bottom part is very heavy and there’s only sky in the upper part, adding the hat helps making it more balanced. 

The character were the longest and the most challenging part by far. As you can see I had 3 different steps : super rough, they’re almost like stickmen and smiley face, a more detailled one in which I figure out their actual pose and anatomy, then a last one in which I fix some proportion, add details and clean. Fun fact I don’t clean over a new layer... i just erase the unwanted part of my sketch. :’D

I did a quick pass over the BG after that, then I colored the characters in flat colors before rendering them. It was a back and forth between the BG and the characters to make sure everything was working together nicely. 

Now was the time to render the BG, I did the tramway first, the flower field after. Fun fact, I did my flower field study in order to know how to approach the flowers in this illustration! If your have the time, i totally recommend finding a photograph close to the kind of BG you wanna do, and make a study of it so you can try your hand at it first and go into your own BG later with an idea of how to approach this.

Adjust colors, add flower petals and butterflies and emotional text, slap over a paper texture, and THERE. You have it! On to the next part now...

The meaningful details and easter eggs

Be aware there will be spoilers for Digimon Adventure 01 (but I assume you already know it), but also for Digimon Adventure : Last evolution Kizuna, which is the conclusion of the first serie. So read at your own risk! 

The tramway is obviously a reference to the end of Digimon Adventure 01. The kids used it to go back to their world, so It was their goodbye to their Digimon at this moment. In Kizuna, Tai and Matt find the tramway trapped in crystal in Menoa’s fake memory world. Hinting that had they been caught by her, their memories would have brought them back here.

Tailmon has Kari’s whistle! At the end of Digimon Adventure 01, Kari gives it to her as a memento. 

When I drew Sora, I had in mind how she was in Kizuna, very stressed out by her mom’s expectation, which led her to neglect Piyomon. She realized it too late, and after that she refused to fight because she wanted to keep Piyomon with her as long as possible. Tragically, she was the first one to lose her Digimon. Here I tried to convey a softness and a kind of “I won’t forget to appreciate you” vibe in the way she holds Piyomon’s hand. As for Mimi and Palmon, in Digimon adventure 01 Palmon was very emotionally affected by Mimi’s departure, so, a hug was fitting. :’) 

The screens on the Tramway display DA for Digimon Adventure, and also 01.08.1999 which is the date of the children’s journey’s beginning. :) 

The little drawings also show the 8 crests. 

There are butterflies flying over the illustration, it’s a reference to Butter-fly, the first Digimon opening, by the late Koji Wada. 

"I'll become a happy butterfly, and ride on the glittering wind, I'll come and see you soon. “

Now, let’s the see the counterpart of the illustration. The one with the grown up Tai from Kizuna.

I made him wear the hoodie he had in his very last adventure with Agumon.... but truthfully the reason is that I think hoodies are cool lol. And the hood’s volume gave me more space in the silhouette, which made it easier for me to do the other illustration inside.

You don’t see it clearly, but he is holding his Digivice, albeit the darkened version once his partner bond with Agumon is broken. The Tai in this illustration has already lost Agumon. (Yes it was painful for me to go fetch the screenshots)

He is also holding his dear signature google he used to wear as a child. Fun fact, I rewatched the older movies, and as a kid he even used to sleep with it, how cute haha. 

Also yes, the crest of Courage over his hand, which is his own. I’m so dumb I realize I should have made the time counter from the movie instead of the crest for a maximum emotional hurt impact. 

And the quote is from one of the trailer for Kizuna, I think.....................

But then you go : Oh that illustration is so depressing then! Well. Yes. But no. but yes. But not really. 

One of my favorite shot of the movie is this one : this is after Tai and Agumon learn their time together is limited. Agumon asks him if they will have to go separate ways once Tai is all grown up. Tai doesn’t answer, and takes him to eat something instead, as Agumon was hungry. In this shot Agumon eats to his heart content next to Tai, who’s not eating at all and just watches him fondly. I love that the framing doesnt show agumon. It’s a foreshadowing of their unavoidable separation. 

At the very end of the movie, Tai write in his thesis about Human and Digimon’s relationship that Agumon was like a part of himself.

In a way, Agumon symbolizes childhood, the carefree days we would spend as a kid, with our big dreams and hopes. When you grow up, you tend to forget those simple emotions because you get swallowed into the stress of studies, figuring out your carreer, your life path. Just like us, Tai forgot this part of himself. In the madness of growing up, he lost Agumon. 

However, it’s not the end. He will pick himself back up. He will move forward in life despite his worries and incertainities, and he will find himself again. Therefore, he will find Agumon again. The kids in the illustration are waving goodbye, but it’s not goodbye, it’s a see you later.  In the meantime, Tai is holding on to these precious memories, until they meet again. 

[hikapoi]

This is from the Artists Asks List. You can just pick the ones you're interested in answering if this is too much lol.

1, 9, 12, 15, and 25

I've answered #25 over here! (= 1. Do you prefer traditional drawing, or digital?

AHHHHH this is such a good question.. I always want to say a real pencil in my hand is the way to go even after all these years doing digital art but last year I don't think I did any traditional art at all... It honestly makes me so sad that the only time I do any traditional work is during Inktober or Sketchvember.. when the months roll by I just think, "ah darnit another year goes where I only do traditional work as part of a game." Man I just think traditional is when I'm at ease and most relaxed bc I can just feel fluid if I'm drawing for fun, but with digital you can really clean things up to look really good. A part of the reason I enjoy doing the yearly holiday cards when I ACTUALLY SEND ANY is that it's a time I can do special traditional art for my friends to make them really happy. I think I'm good at digital art but am even better with traditional, but I don't think I can say that anymore if I haven't really touched a pencil in recent years. It might be the opposite now, my traditional work lacks the precision and finesse of my digital work but since I have art supplies I PAID for and HAVE TO USE I have a tendency to experiment with traditional media more. I am STILL buying loads of art supplies to this date..

9. How much time do you spend drawing on an average day?

HNGNGHGH it really depends.. Ah, average day? Hmmm when I'm on fire I might say at least 2 hours a day, whether it's to work on a quick doodle or to continue a more time-consuming piece. There are days where I might spend 4-6 hours. The craziest for me for one day might be 8 hours-- with or without breaks in between.

12. Is it okay for people to ask you about your process?

YEAH ABSOLUTELY ALWAYS it's no secret. I always did the circle/stick man base but when I really got into One Punch Man in 2012 or so when Murata-sensei was streaming, I noticed he skipped that step and went straight to defining muscles, limbs, faces, etc. I thought DANG if I could do that I could draw SO MUCH FASTER and SO MUCH MORE!! It was horrible at first and I hated a lot of my art while I was trying out this new thing but now I'd say I'm fairly decent and it does get me to do more art faster.

Anyway! My process is to start with a pose idea. The timing on this varies, but I usually thumbnail with little stick figures until something sticks. If there is one I like I might blow it up or redraw it on a larger scale. I always start with the face shape and eyes first. It helps me get a good idea on how to frame the hair. I cannot feel I am drawing the character until I get this right. I'll then detail until I color. I skip a line art step most of the time because I clean my sketches along the way ((I KNOW, RISA)). If it's a piece I'm serious about being a "best" I might seriously do a line art layer but I usually have trouble because I can never find a comfortable inking pen AND I feel line art makes my art suddenly stiff. I used to never color but I try to do it as much as I can because I have always admired my friends for their bold colors and I told myself that that's my own personal goal to have more colored work.

15. How long does an average piece take you to complete?

If it's a fairly simple/rushed drawing that is semi-refined that can take me about 2-4 hours? I can get a lot done in just 1 hour as well thanks to all those Mob Psycho 100 60 min challenges. But if I just take my time drawing something that I don't particularly hate I'd say 2 hours is a good average. For a more detailed one with backgrounds or groups or lots of detail, that could take me at least 8 hours of actually drawing. The hours spent into references/getting ideas/thinking of a background add to an illustration's turnaround time even if I am not actually moving a pen.

Thank you for your interest in me! I hope maybe I've said something interesting!

These questions are from this art meme if you want to do it too: https://hikapoi.tumblr.com/post/708522112589119488/artist-asks

[whentherewerebicycles]

hello! prepare for a long chatty life update. I went out with friends last night and it was so nice wahh. then I slept nine hours and that was glorious too. turns out this week’s sleep trouble was just my usual pre-period insomnia and not my new magic sleeping meds failing me. phew!!! I took Pip to our new vet this morning for his annual checkup and he was such a sweet boy even through the indignity of many shots. 😭😭 I love my little dog so much. also when Pip sits his front paws point outwards in a way that makes him look like he’s posing, and today the vet techs were like ‘awww how sweet! you know that’s actually a genetic deformity, right?’ I was like ummm excuse me. this is the best dog who has ever lived and he is perfectly formed in every way so think carefully about how you describe his flawless & unique paws please!! anyway he is in excellent health and three different people independently praised him for being so lean & well-conditioned. I can’t wait for fall (and/or to get him to seattle) so we can resume his preferred 70 min walks instead of the 30 min forced marches we are limited to in the summer.

then I came home and started working my way through one of the books I bought on evidence-informed learning design in training contexts. it’s interesting so far! not a lot of new content yet but it’s kind of nice to go back to basics and resolidify my understanding of core concepts/frameworks. I feel like it’s making me a bit sleeeepy though so I might just do an hour each day instead of trying to power through. I have four weeks left before new job starts… I think I just want to read two or three of these fairly dense books so I go into the first month feeling like I have an understanding of how the L&D profession overlaps with/differs from the classroom pedagogy stuff I’m more familiar with. I also want to read more about the history and structure of my government agency so I have at least a rough mental framework to fit first-month new information into. THAT SAID as psyched as I am to get started on a New Project (tackling a new job lol) I need to remind myself to also enjoy this time and try to use it to really fully decompress from the year and job search stress. it’s okay to just let myself enjoy this month of very few responsibilities.

next week I need to reach out to my current boss to let her know that I accepted the position… and I need to do that sooner rather than later because they’re starting to process my security clearance and that involves interviewing my references. I hope she isn’t upset with me for kinda changing gears after we talked last, but I’m also reminding myself that it’s normal to change jobs and that I went above and beyond trying to make things work with them… they didn’t move fast enough to make it feasible for me and it’s okay for me to make decisions that prioritize my own long-term future (because academia sure as hell won’t do that for me!). I can’t decide if I hope the grant funds come through & they let me do it as a part-time position with support staff, or if I hope it doesn’t come through and my energy is just freed up to focus on the new job + creative projects. we will see what the universe decides.

we released the first two episodes of our hockey fandom podcast yesterday and have gotten a nice response so far! I am deep in planning/research mode for future episodes and might spend the rest of the afternoon working on that. I feel like my brain is a little bit too fried still to write short things or fully dive into my new long project (I need a bit more rest/recovery I think) so I’m gonna let myself continue taking a little break from writing and instead focus on building out this other project so it’s up and running by the time the job starts. ooh and I am also going to beta a friend’s fic this weekend—tonight or tomorrow tbd.

okay let’s see. going to drive to target now to pick up a curbside order and then I think I want to lie in bed doing nothing or maybe thinking a bit about podcast planning. I have this idea that if we can create like… a planning structure of some kind? a brainstorming and research template kinda thing? it’ll help organize and streamline our prerecording thinking so we can have deeper conversations in the actual recording session. I like the idea of designing a repeatable learning exercise that will make the planning process more seamless, so if we get really busy with real life stuff we won’t have to expend as much intellectual bandwidth on the prep & planning work each week. idk just something I am kicking around we’ll see. mmkay! if I go to target I will have cherries to eat 😍 so it is time to make the quick drive over.

[lfcology]

are you afraid of the dark? | charlie weasley

summary: Part of a new series where I write about Harry Potter characters helping/reacting to the reader and their fears. This is about Charlie and the reader back at The Burrow for the first time in years. Reader has hid her fear from him but finally has no choice but to talk about how she’s scared of the dark.

pairing: Fem!Reader who is a Dragonologist x Charlie.

word count: 1.6k

warnings: None besides the fear of the dark and mentions of food.

A/N: This is my first fic here! Please Tell me what you think!

*

It seemed foolish – having one of the most feared jobs in the wizarding world yet being afraid of the dark. It was something you hid well, no one ever picked up on the fact that you always had a light on when the sun went down. And, if they ever were to ask a question, you were able to cover it up with a little white lie. It wasn’t something that posed you as a real issue until Charlie Weasley entered your life. You two had been friends during your time at Hogwarts, in the same year and both loving magical creatures. As the years went by you two found yourselves smitten with one another. He, just like you, was enamoured with the scaley, temperamental beasts that were dragons. It took a bit of persuasion from Hagrid (who insisted his two favourite students would make a perfect pair) but Charlie asked you to Hogsmeade and the rest was history. You two got accepted as apprentice dragon trainers in Romania together and after years the spark of infatuation you two felt grew into genuine and strong love.

Your fear of the dark was never a topic that came up. Working with dragons meant being awake during their most active hours – the night. Their fire lit up the darkness of the sanctuary and when you two finally got the time to sleep, it was daytime, the sun provided all the light you needed to have your fear dissipate. The only time, after years of being together, Charlie noticed you acting strangely about the topic was the winter of 1995.

It was the first year you were spending Christmas at The Burrow, having such a hectic work life meant you and Charlie opted to spend most holidays in Romania. Molly trusted the two of you not to have any funny business go on and let you share Charlie's childhood bedroom with him (despite the no girls in the bedrooms rule that was put in place years before). After working the night shift for so long the pair of you welcomed a warm home, comfy bed and a hardy nap with open arms. Molly hated to wake you two up but hours later she came in to let you two know dinner was ready whenever you two wanted it.

"Morning." Charlie joked as he stretched his aching limbs out.

Evening was coming closer and as you looked out the window you saw that the last moments of sunlight for the day were illuminating the bedroom in a golden stream of light. Charlie Weasley looked utterly ethereal from his spot next to you. His tangerine coloured hair rested ever so gently across his forehead from where he'd decided to let it grow out. The constellations of freckles speckled his face almost perfectly despite being so randomly placed – It was as if the sun had personally come and kissed them upon his skin. Photos were pinned around the room showing him both before and during his time at Hogwarts and looking at the man in front of you now your heart swelled. He had grown into such a wonderful human. His jaw filled out and was stronger as if a symbol of the confidence he felt in himself. Charlie had grown up but lost none of the boyish charms he had when you fell in love with him. He donned a couple more scars than when he'd left England all those years before but he still fit into The Burrow like a glove.

He ran a calloused hand through your hair and pressed a kiss to your forehead before sitting up and cracking some of his bones in an attempt to wake up more. You hummed contently and kissed him softly before putting on a signature Weasley sweater (gifted from Molly after only dating Charlie for 2 months).

"Well, looks like Sleeping Beauty and (Y/N) are finally awake." Fred teased from his spot at the kitchen table.

He and George were tinkering with what you assumed was another invention of theirs as Charlie lovingly smacked the back of their heads. You smiled at the brotherly moment before taking a seat and having plates mounted with food placed in front of you just as quickly as you blinked. It was delicious, just what you needed to start a much-needed vacation. The cosiness of The Burrow mixed with a full tummy had you lulled into a sleepy stupor. Charlie continued chatting with his siblings, most of which were home from school for the holidays, as you leaned into his side. Between the couch beneath you two, the muggle Christmas song playing somewhere in the house and him stroking your shoulder: it felt like home.

After a few more stifled yawns from Charlie, Mrs Weasley sent you both back to bed in hopes tomorrow would bring more family time. Coming back to Charlies room felt different. The curtains were still open but with only the waxing crescent moon in the sky to provide light it was eery. You tried to remain calm despite feeling your fear rising in your throat. Charlie was around and surely that would give you enough comfort to fall asleep without a hitch, right? You slipped off your sweater knowing Charlie produced heat like a campfire and slid into bed in hopes of a quick and dreamless sleep. The Burrow, despite how strange it seemed, was silent. You assumed someone had cast a silencing charm on the room for you two to rest peacefully but right now it only fuelled your fear more. You laid motionless for the most part, Charlie snuggled up as usual with his arm around your waist as you stared at the ceiling. You were tense and after a few kisses to your neck from the boy didn't gain your attention he sensed something was off.

"Goodnight my love." He said trying to gauge your reaction before mentioning something.

He pretending to sleep, listening intently to your breathing and analysing the tenseness of your body beneath his arm. You, on the other hand, paid him no attention. How could you when fear clouded your vision more than the darkness itself. You felt as though the room was filled with evil beings and creatures just waiting for their moment to attack. It sent a shrill fear down your spine and your breathing picked up dramatically making Charlie frown and sit up. With the flick of his hand, he wandlessly cast a charm to turn on his bedside lamp.

"Hey..." He muttered softly to get your attention.

Your eyes were wide and glazed over, you were on high alert and even as you looked around the room and saw it was only old Quidditch merchandise around and not monsters you didn't relax. Charlie held your hand ever so gently making your eyes snap down to him where he gave you a calming, reassuring smile. It wasn't a very different look than what he'd give to a wounded animal.

"Hi..." You replied trying to seem normal.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he looked around the room in an attempt to see what had startled you so much.

"Yes, just thinking-" You tried to reassure but he only furrowed his deep brows at you in disbelief. He could easily tell on your face that you not only were lying but something was most definitely worrying you.

"C'mon, tell me, Princess." He said with a frown. "What's going on in that pretty head of yours?"

You sighed knowing you couldn't hide your secret much longer. You felt more at ease now that the light was on but as you stared at it you wondered what Charlie would think once he knew your secret. "'S nothing." You shrugged but he once again wasn't having it.

"You're a terrible liar." He teased trying to lighten the mood but when you didn't give him so much as a smile, he knew it was serious. Sitting up straighter and clearing his throat he held both your hands in his larger ones. "You know you can tell me anything, right?" He asked as you bit your lip and ducked your head in shame.

His head followed yours and he tried to meet your eyes again which made you smile slightly as he resembled a child wanting answers. "I'm afraid of the dark." You finally muttered.

He tried to hide his shock but couldn't help but let out a surprised giggled which only made you pout more. "You said you wouldn't make fun..."

"I know and I'm sorry for laughing but-" He shook his head in disbelief. "You work with arguably one of the scariest animals in the world but you're scared of the dark?"

You fiddled with the hem of the blanket as you tried to think of a way to explain it. "It's not so much the dark itself that scares me." He leaned down in bed again and rested his head on his hand to give you his undivided attention. "You and I know better than anyone what kind of stuff hides in the shadows..."

He nodded and stroke your hair back away from your face once you laid down with him again. "You should have told me earlier. You know I wouldn't mind sleeping with the light on. Hell, we do it every day considering how messed up our sleep schedule is." He said referring to your night shifts.

"I didn't want you to think I was silly." You said with a shrug.

Pecking your lips softly he turned over and flicked the light off again before grabbing his wand from the nightstand and casting a nonverbal spell. Before your eyes, a baby dragon sprouted from the tip of his wand and was glowing a gorgeous warm white. It flew around the room exploring, not much different than the babies you work with on the regular.

"Ronnie used to have trouble falling asleep so I would make these little guys for him." He explained.

You didn't feel scared anymore. Between the light that the dragon illuminated as it pranced around the room and the strong arms of Charlie around you, you felt sleep calling your name.

"I'm always going to be here to protect you from whatever hides in the dark," Charlie said just above a whisper as the baby dragon settled gently on the bed between you two. "Even if it means a little light in my eyes." He teased making you smile and peck his lips as a wordless form of showing your love.

It didn't take long for you to fall asleep, then the dragon, and lastly Charlie. He watched over you to make sure you were safe and comfortable before resting his eyes. By the time you woke up the sun was out, the dragon was gone and your tangerine haired boyfriend had you protectively in his arms. You had no fears when Charlie was around.

[little-mad]

A Seat at the Table Pt. 1

~ Prologue Story ~

~ Part 2 ~

Guess who's baaack? Yup, it's Gavin and Rael, ready for another lil adventure. This one is gonna be shorter than Downsides of Thievery, but I have several little pieces planned for this universe so don't worry, these lads aren't going anywhere.

Gavin just wanted to sleep in. Considering he had been...let’s say “self employed” ever since graduating high school, he was unaccustomed to being dragged out of bed at an unholy hour. The past two mornings had been the same way, but somehow he’d managed to scrape himself out of bed. This time however, his body seemed to be holding a protest.

“You need to get up,” a familiar voice called, the same voice that had already urged Gavin awake a couple minutes ago.

The only response Gavin offered was burying his head deeper into the stunningly plush handkerchief that served as his makeshift sheets.

There was a pause, then suddenly he felt a gust of warm air roll over his back. “If you don’t get up on your own, I’m going to have to make you,” the voice was much closer now, in fact it sounded as though the speaker was only a few inches above Gavin. A shiver ran across his spine, but still his tired brain refused to signal any action from the body. The only thing he did manage to do was shoot back an irritable groan.

The hot breath remained for a moment before disappearing. “Good, maybe he’s leaving me alo--” The blanket that had been protecting Gavin from the early morning chill was suddenly ripped away. Before he could even let out a complaint, a firm pressure took hold of either side of his waist.

A less than dignified yelp slipped out of Gavin’s mouth as he was effortlessly snatched out of his bed and lifted up into the air. He didn’t need to turn around to know what had happened, even in his groggy state he could put together the pieces. “What the hell, dude?!” he yelled as he squirmed angrily.

“You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” came Rael’s response as he rotated Gavin around so he was now dangling facing towards him.

Unlike Gavin, the teal-eyed alteon looked perfectly content being up at the asscrack of dawn. He was already dressed in his uniform, and his long black hair was neatly tied back in its usual style. He looked down at Gavin with an amused smirk on his lips, as well as a mischievous glint in his eyes that Gavin couldn’t help but feel responsible for encouraging.

Gavin scowled. “Put me down, Rael,” he ordered with as much authority as an action figure sized person could muster.

Rael’s grin widened, making him look alarmingly like the cat that ate the proverbial canary. “If you insist.” A sharp gasp got caught in Gavin’s throat as the hand holding him abruptly lurched into motion. The last thing he saw was a swath of tan before he was unceremoniously plopped down on the unidentified surface.

Scrambling to his feet, Gavin whipped around to try and make sense of where he’d been placed. It only took a moment before he realized, and when he did his face instantly began to flush red. “I didn’t mean on your lap!” he hissed, his cheeks now a bright red color as a result of being deposited on Rael’s left thigh.

There were several places that Gavin didn’t much like to be due to the fact that being there made him feel like a giant’s pet. On Rael’s lap was a big one. Other ones included being cradled in hands or set on a chest--which Rael had actually done the other day without seeming to realize how embarrassing it would be for the human.

Rael gave a small snicker, something that a couple days ago would have sounded foreign coming from the Imperial Guardsman. “Consider it punishment for not getting up the first, or second time I told you to,” he remarked, looking down at Gavin with unconcealed mirth.

Rather than try to argue, Gavin just glared up at his...mentor? Was that the right word? Parole officer was the closest thing he could think of that fit properly, but it didn’t really fit in with the medieval vibe of the alteon dimension. “Master” was maybe a better term, but Gavin would be damned if he ever referred to Rael as “master.”

Thankfully Gavin didn’t have to suffer in Rael’s lap for long, because a moment later the giant reached down and carefully scooped the human back up.

It was hard to believe how much less skittish Gavin had become about being around Rael’s hands. Over the past couple days they’d made a surprising amount of progress. That wasn’t to say Gavin’s heart rate didn’t pick up every time those oversized appendages came near him, but at least he didn’t have the urge to run for the hills anymore.

Gavin was only in transit for a short moment before being deposited back on the bedside table where his improvised bed resided. Until the palace craftsmen completed the miniature furniture set that the Emperor had commissioned, Rael had provided Gavin with a small wooden crate filled with fabric to sleep in.

Atop the table was also a small pile of clothes. The gray jumpsuit he’d arrived in the alteon dimension in was folded up neatly after having been washed for him. There were also several sets of simple garments that had apparently been painstakingly sewn by giant fingers. The work was certainly impressive, and apparently Gavin could expect even more intricate articles in the future.

“I’m going to get breakfast,” Rael announced, already making his way towards the door. “You’d better be dressed by the time I get back.” He glanced over his shoulder to shoot a warning glare back at Gavin, however the edge was taken off by the slight smile on the man’s lips.

“Yeah, yeah,” the human replied, waving a dismissive hand.

As soon as the alteon was out the door, Gavin let out a low sigh. “He still doesn’t think I can handle eating in the dining hall,” he muttered to himself as he went about getting dressed.

Ever since Gavin had started out as Rael’s assistant, Rael had insisted upon bringing their meals back to the room rather than joining the rest of the members of the Imperial Guard. At first, Gavin had been grateful. After the Ashryn incident, he had no desire to interact with any more soldiers. However, on the second day he’d begun to wonder why exactly Rael seemed so adamant about it. When he had posed the question to the alteon, he had simply responded with “it’s easier this way.”

Despite what many of the people in Gavin’s life might say, he wasn’t stupid. He knew each and every alteon was a potential danger to him. But everyone in the dining hall would be soldiers--soldiers who were bound by the Emperor’s order that Gavin be protected. Surely he would be perfectly safe there?

“I can’t spend this whole year hiding,” he grumbled. Tying the laces of his sneakers was the final touch on his outfit for the day. The human-sized shoes that were being crafted for him by a cobbler would take some time. He’d wondered why, if alteons had magic, they couldn’t just conjure a pair of shoes. But according to Rael, it didn’t work like that.

Either way, until the shoes were completed, he’d have to stick with the ones he’d arrived in the dimension with. They clashed pretty terribly with the loose fitting cotton tunic and fitted brown trousers, but looking fashionable had fallen pretty low on his list of priorities ever since he got arrested.

With no mirror around, Gavin could only hazard a guess as to what he looked like. He ran his fingers through his frequently disobedient brown locks. He felt pretty confident that his hair was a mess, aside from the fact that it pretty much always was, it had also dried uncombed after bathing the previous night.

Rael had taken Gavin to a massive stone basin to bathe in, and the experience was positively magical for the human. While the basin was intended for washing hands, at Gavin’s size the thing was almost like a small swimming pool! The water had been wonderfully warm and filled with lavender scented bubbles. It had been just the thing Gavin needed to unwind after the whirlwind past couple days he’d endured.

“They have the sausages you like again,” Rael announced as he pushed open the door, balancing an enormous tray of food on one hand.

“So you’re not letting me eat at the big kid table again, huh?” Gavin questioned, ignoring the sausage comment despite the fact that he did in fact like them quite a bit.

A stiff look came across Rael’s face as he snapped the door shut behind him. He said nothing at first, remaining silent as he took a seat on his bed with the food tray on his lap. Gavin began to think the guy wasn’t even going to bother responding until finally, “There’s nothing to gain from doing so.”

Gavin folded his arms over his chest, stepping closer to the edge of the bedside table closest to Rael. He hated when he took on that tone. It was the same tone he’d constantly used when they had first met. Gavin had started to think it was dead and gone, but clearly not.

“There’s nothing to gain from staying in here,” he countered.

Rael pressed his lips tightly together, as if there was something he wanted to say but also didn’t want to at the same time. Finally he blew out a long sigh. “I’ll think about it,” was all he said.

His tone wasn’t exactly promising, but Gavin didn’t want to pick a fight so early in the morning. His brain wasn’t full awake yet so any argument he got into, he’d no doubt lose. So for the time being, he let it go.

[retiredteabag]

Valentines Day Special

Just Like The Books 

Pairing: Shoto Todoroki X Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: ...

Synopsis: Valentines day was only a few days away and Shoto had not yet asked you to be his valentine!! Were you too romantically inclined from all those books you read or was Shoto just trying to make things extra special?

SPECIAL NOTE: This story is being read aloud by Mad July on youtube!!! The link will be posed here very soon, please give the channel all your love!

Link To Video- Here!!!

Link To Channel- Mad July

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It was less than four days until Valentine’s day and Shoto, Y/n’s boyfriend of a year and a half, had yet to request the spot as their valentine. Pure radio silence on his part. They weren’t worried though. Seriously! Y/n knew Shoto wasn’t the best with romancy stuff- it just didn’t come naturally to him which was fine! Still… everyone in 1A had a valentine. Heck even Mineta had received a love letter! Of course, everyone was painfully aware he had sent it to himself but either way- it was a bit embarrassing- what to have a significant other and them not even ask… whatever- Valentine’s day wasn’t even a big deal anyway!

Despite that- when the little envelope- wax sealed with a fingerprint- showed up in their school bag- they couldn’t help but feel the tiniest bit relieved. The paper was light brown and smelled of burned wax, after struggling for a second to open it without ripping the letter- they read to themselves:

“For every day that passes- I realize how many more I want to spend with you. Is this how Mr. Darcy felt when he was with Elizabeth?”

A smile grew on their face- Having introduced Sho to Pride and Prejudice last summer, it made their heart flutter to hear him bring it up.

“In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you.’ It must have been…will you accept my confession?”

-          Your Secret Admirer

Not only did he remember their infatuation with the book, but he quoted the line too… he was just too cute! They folded the letter and gently put it in the box in which they kept all his letters. Only to promptly pull it out and read it a few more times.

The next day- it seemed Shoto was ignoring them. In class they would turn- only for him to look away. This wasn’t like him, usually he had no trouble staring- in fact, in the past Shoto would stare until Y/n was embarrassed, not realizing how hard it was to have him look so intently.

That night- after a whole day of hiding- it appeared that Shoto had been on their balcony. Strange as it is, there was a very obvious glow of a flashlight outside Y/n’s dorm room. Sat in the middle of the balcony’s ledge was another letter, held down by a small box. Y/n took at least a minute to look at the whole set up. It wasn’t crazy or anything- just a bit cute. The flashlight shown right through their curtain so they could see the display. Eventually they reached for the envelope. Wax sealed with a fingerprint just like it had been before.

“’Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; But never doubt I love.’ I remember when you read Hamlet to me- I remember knowing I loved you when I heard the smile in your voice when you read those words. Do you remember? When you quoted them to me while you braided my hair? Do you remember when you leaned over and said them that last day of summer? I hope you do… Because I can’t stop thinking about them.”

-          Your Secret Admirer

 “Yes” they thought, “Yes, yes of course I do.”

It was a little funny, Sho referring to himself as their “Secret Admirer” when everyone knew they were dating, still- they couldn’t help but find it charming.

By the time they had read the letter for the fourth time- the icy air had chilled their skin considerably. The wind whooshed past their face, but it was hard to leave their spot on the balcony knowing he had been right there. They had already stood before they remembered the box that had been used as a paperweight.

Leaning over to pick it up they ran their hand over the silk exterior. Inside, delicately placed on a velvet stand was a silver ring- a tiny sun on one side and on the other? A tiny moon. It was exactly their ring size and was so beautiful they had half the mind to keep it hidden in a box and not wear it at all. It took a particularly cold gust of wind to bring them back to reality and go inside.

 At lunch the next day Y/n sat with Jirou and Kaminari. Food was the last thing on their mind. All their thoughts were occupied with was the fact that Shoto Todoroki had been wearing a ring in class today. A ring that had tiny, engraved stars all over. They couldn’t even thank him because he was gone when class ended. Y/n had even stood quickly and ran after him to try to go looking but he was nowhere to be found.  

“Hey- what’s wrong?” Mina stared worriedly. Y/n was sure everyone could tell something was up. It wasn’t the fact that they hadn’t been asked anymore-but that Sho seemed to be avoiding them. They couldn’t answer their friend because suddenly Kaminari jumped upright- startling the whole table. Jirou and the man in question were sharing a look. Jirou looking exasperated and shifted her eyes from the bag hung across his chair- then at Y/n and then back at Kaminari.

“Oh! Oh!!” Kaminari clapped his hands as if remembering something. He bent down and pulled out an enveloped from his bag- it had the tiniest of stems attached- little clusters of baby’s breath had been sealed to the letter. They looked up from their table with Jirou, Kaminari and Mina and watched Deku from across the lunchroom nudge Sho with a worried look. He just took a breath in and stared at his lap- a content smile on his lips.

“Just ask me Sho…” They thought. Maybe this was his way of asking. Previously- whenever Shoto wanted attention- he never asked- he would pull on their sleeve or tug on their belt loop… maybe he didn’t know how to ask. Either way- Y/n wanted to thank him for his gestures- to give him a gift too- even if it wasn’t as nice as what he gave to them.

“If you asked anything of me- I believe my heart always replies- ‘As you wish.’ You read to me all about Buttercup’s requests of Westly- I myself have a request of you if it is not too much. Would you be willing to meet with me at my dorm this evening?”

-          Your secret admirer

And when they looked up- Sho was gone from his seat with Deku and Iida.

 Tomorrow was Valentines- and y/n had spent so much time worrying whether Todoroki would ask them that they didn’t even have a gift for him. Needless to say- they skipped final period to go out and get something.

That night Y/n was nervous- “Pull yourself together” they told themselves- they’d dated over a year and yet it was still a bit nerve wracking to see him. They didn’t really get all that dressed up- just changed out of their uniform into something comfortable and made their way to Shotos dorm room. They had his gift in a small bag and while they knew he would love anything they gave him- it didn’t feel like enough. Simply him reflecting on the moments they had shared had warmed Y/n’s heart to no end.

Romance novels were sort of a part of their relationship- a little thing Shoto had never experienced before they had the chance to become close. And when y/n heard such a horrible truth? They made it a mission to read to him all their favorite stories.

They twisted their ring and took a deep breath- “It’s just Sho…” they told themselves before they knocked.

Instantly the door swung open- as if Shoto had waited for them to knock- “You’re here” he said softly- his hair was fluffier than normal, spread across his eyes- he had also changed out of his school uniform.

“Yeah” is all they could muster- eyes falling on his expression. He looked so good even when he didn’t mean to.

He slowly took a step forward and tugged on their waistband. Pulling them into his room. It smelled like wood and varnish inside- within the brief second in the room they spotted the books laying on his desk. Pride and Prejudice- Hamlet- and The Princess Bride were all neatly set in a pile next to his laptop- behind those were some other stories y/n had shown him- The Notebook, Anne of Green Gables and The Phantom of The Opera were set on his wall.

 He grabbed their face- “Y/n” he cleared his throat-

“I’ve been meaning to ask you- and seeing as- “He pulls his finger from their pants elastic- his hand messily grasped at their sleeve before tightly grasping it and then letting it go. He looked at the clock on the wall and faltered- “seeing as- I have three and a half hours before well- you know- I think its best to ask- the thing? You know- Tomorrow is Valentines day and I was wondering if you wanted to stay- with- stay here… with me- until then. So, we could spend the day together?” Somehow his hand had gone back to their sleeve and was shyly tugging on it.

“Oh right!!” he let go. “What I meant was, would you be my Valentine?”

And the hand holding Shotos gift let go somehow and had pulled him in by his neck.

And you know, it really was just like the books. Time slowed down and it was so warm, and they didn’t want to move- so they didn’t.

They pulled away “Yes, yes that would be just perfect.” And then Shoto pulled them back in again by the shoulders and quietly murmured, “oh thank goodness.”

[3wisellamas]

(Spoilers ahead! Read at your own risk if you haven't finished chapter 2 yet!)

Kris is the Knight, Gaster is the Knight, Ralsei is sus...

How about I throw an oddball one at you? What if Dess is the Knight?

In chapter 2, Queen implied that only a Lightner can actually create more dark fountains, and literally any Lightner can if they have enough determination and a blade of some kind. And she was VERY interested in Noelle specifically for the task, touting her strength and potential, without even considering the other three Lightners right in front of her.

Noelle was Dess' younger sister. And from context in this chapter, it looks a lot like whatever happened to her, happened when Noelle was very young -- before her first spelling bee, at least, since that's where she froze up (pun not intended) on the word 'December.' But, the most important part, we don't know WHAT exactly happened to Dess. One could assume she died, either in an accident or of whatever illness Rudy has, but as others have pointed out, there's no grave for her in the graveyard. And, like, yeah, she could've been buried elsewhere, but the simplest conclusion to draw from that is that she's still alive, but either went missing or ran away from home.

She was also stated a couple times to be close to Asriel, even going to the bunker with him, Kris, and Noelle at one point. (Remember, the latter two would still have been very young children at this point, and Dess and Asriel might have been teens, around the age Kris, Noelle, and Susie are now.) And from that one scene with MK and Snowy, we know that something very bad happened there once involving Kris...perhaps this was a reference to that same event?

If so...what if the four of them opened the bunker, and Dess went inside? Or maybe Kris even went in too, and Dess went after them to bring them back? It's pretty much a given that there's gonna end up being a Dark World inside, there's just too much building up to it at this point, so if either of them went in, they'd have a hell of a time getting back out! Kris came back, perhaps even traumatized into the weird kid they are today from the experience, but Dess ended up lost in the dark...a lost girl.

(Hm, wasn't that Noelle's song? I don't think it was really Noelle's at all. Sure, she got kidnapped a couple times, but at no point was she ever "lost"...)

So, here's where I'm going right off the deep end into conjecture. Dess disappeared, and since Asriel was so close to her, he begged his father, police chief Asgore, to find her, which he never did, and might have even tried a few things that ended up getting him fired. Like, maybe even going into the bunker himself, experiencing the Dark World within, and coming back and making all these crazy claims that no one else believed except for maybe his children? That'd definitely be reason to remove him as chief of police, and also affect his and Toriel's marriage.

So, after this, Asriel, a Lightner stricken with grief and Determined to find his friend...went to the dark supply closet at his school, armed with a knife (and maybe his little sibling's old red horn headband, if you want to incorporate the theory that that's where Ralsei came from), and stabbed the ground.

Bam, dark fountain, and Ralsei's kingdom. Unlile Dess, though, Asriel came back, not having found her either, and eventually moved on and grew up, but the fountain he made persisted -- after all, while any Lightner may be able to create a fountain, Ralsei implies very early in chapter 1 that only a human like Kris can actually SEAL them!

But, this is a theory about Dess, not Asriel. Just making one fountain might make you a knight, but not The Knight -- lookin' at Kris here. At some point, Dess, still lost somewhere in the Dark World, either gets desperate to find a way out and return home, enough to try and cover EVERYTHING in darkness despite the danger it poses, or...grows to like it there, a little too much, sorta like what Susie brought up at the end of chapter 2, making more fountains so the whole world can be as fun as it is in there. Whatever the reason, Dess realizes she can create more fountains, and, Determined, goes ahead and does so. And she spends a little time in each of the worlds she creates, manipulating events to serve her desires to reach the Light World again or cover it in darkness, and even telling a few specific people, who are lonely outcasts just like her, about her home outside of that world, and the things she's learned in her time away from it all. Things she may or may not have learned herself from a certain odd man hiding behind trees in secret rooms, and giving away eggs...

Or, another possibility, she's doing it all to try and lure the people she used to know to her by creating Dark Worlds where she thinks they'd be, like, say, her sister, and her sister's friend Kris, and possibly even Asriel -- remember, the first happened to be straight-up connected to the Dark World in the school supply closet. Man, it's 2021. We ALL know just how crazy being isolated from everyone you know for so long can make you, and Dess has been lost for YEARS. But, however lost we feel as we explore all the different Dark Worlds, don't forget, she's with us in the dark...

Also, one last kicker that I couldn't really stop thinking about. The Fun Gang/F$?! Squad/Whatever are supposed to banish the "Angel's Heaven", right? Well, didn't Dess and Noelle make an angel for their dad once, which is in his hospital room? And if everyone speculates she's dead after being missing for all these years, that makes her an Angel...and the Dark Worlds she creates are her Heaven.

Okay, one last LAST kicker, since I was replaying the start of chapter 1 as I was writing this and noticed it. The Knight jailed the other three kings of the classroom Dark World and put King Spade and his "strange son" into power, right? And might have even stayed around the castle for a little while to help steer the King's actions towards the Light World, and mess with Jevil?

Guys, Lancer knows the Knight. Personally. He would have said something by now if the Knight was in our party, or if we encountered them in either of the Dark Worlds we visited. So, the Knight is definitely NOT someone we've seen yet. Furthermore...remember when we first met the kid, and his catchphrase was "Ho ho ho!" And how Susie told him he sounded like a baby Santa Claus? Wouldn't it be a nice little coincidence if he picked that up from someone literally named December, whose entire family is Christmas-themed...