#I spent a long time on the flag I’m proud of it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

evermoresqueiswriting · 2 months

Text

riptide

“I was scared of dentists and the dark I was scared of pretty girls and starting conversations Oh, all my friends are turning green You're the magician's assistant in their dream”

summary: going on the camp's field trip to olympus because clarisse asked you to, meeting your father and clarisse's father and also, there are new updates from camp - luke gone, and percy's arrival

pairing: clarisse la rue x f!reader

word count: 6.7k (14 year old me would never believe me if i said i casually wrote a 6k chapter)

tags: mostly fluff, tiny splash and angst

series masterlist 3/?

The date ended really late – you fell asleep on the beach, and Clarisse didn’t have the heart to wake you up. She didn’t dare, you looked too peaceful to disturb. You loved taking naps and whenever you were around Clarisse, you felt safe enough to do so. By the time you woke up, it was already dark, and Clarisse had put your blouse back on you because it started to get chilly. When you realised what time it was, you hurried Clarisse and grabbed all your bags before leaving the beach.

The ride back home was quite long, and once you got into camp, it was really quiet. You and Clarisse tried to be quiet, and walked slowly towards your cabins, but then you heard footsteps. Both of you whipped around. Chiron, hands on his hip and Mr D, standing next to him.

“Hi,” you waved.

Clarisse swiftly grabbed your hand to put it down.

“You missed the curfew,” Mr D said.

“What– What curfew? There was one?” you hesitated, looking at Clarisse.

“Yes,” Mr D continued, “it was written, black on white, that you should be home before 9pm. And it’s, would you look at that,” he showed you his watch-less wrist, “it’s past 11!”

“We– I didn’t know,” you explained, “I- I mean– I can’t read and neither can she.”

Chiron shook his head, and Clarisse stepped in front of you, shielding you from their disappointed faces.

“We’re sorry, we didn’t see the time.”

Your hand was grabbing tightly onto Clarisse’s arm.

“Go back to your cabins and rest,” Chiron said.

“Yeah, cause you’ll need it for the cleaning duties you’ll get for the whole week or month, I still haven’t decided yet haha,” Mr D finished and walked away.

You were once again alone. You sighed.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled, not daring to look at her.

“What for?”

“I should’ve read the whole letter, I should've known and now because of me you’ll have cleaning duties for maybe a whole month!”

“I don’t mind, I had a great time today,” you raised your head up at this, “I’ll do another month again if it means we get to do that again.”

“Really?” you smiled.

“Really, now go to sleep.”

It ended up being a whole month of cleaning duties, but neither of you cared because you got to be together.

Your summer was split between three people, Clarisse, Will and Lee.

Fighting and combat with Clarisse. Clarisse was ruthless, not letting you rest for a bit, always pushing you to your limits. She had one thing in mind and that was for you to be the best version of yourself. You were progressing fast which she was extremely proud of. Just like Luke said, you were a natural fighter, and everyone noticed that during Capture the Flag. You went from hiding behind Clarisse the whole time from leading the fight.

Archery lessons from Lee. Lee was also very insistent as a teacher. Never letting you rest.

“Hitting a still target is easy, a child could do it,” Lee told you in his first lesson. “But no monster is going to stay still for you to hit it at your pace. So, we’ll practise on moving targets, fast and unpredictable ones.”

And he was right, it was much more difficult. There was no time for you to prepare, and see where the wind went. But after some practice, it was easier. He was a good teacher, after all. You were tired and sore at the end of every day, which seemed a bit excessive for a fun, safe, summer camp for half bloods. They looked like they were preparing you for war at this pace. And when you had some free time, you spent it with Cornelia painting and playing old board games they had in the cabins. It was a great way to relax.

Alongside sharpening your skills, you also spent an absurd amount of time at the infirmary with Will. Michael was the one teaching you everything, with a tiny Will following you there too. He was absorbing information at an incredible pace.

“Isn’t he a bit young to be learning all of this?” you asked Michael.

“Yeah, but he’s good at it, so who cares? Surely not Mr D.”

Will was a really nice kid, and obviously a natural healer. With the two of you at the infirmary, Michael was able to leave for longer periods of time. Will and you often held karaoke afternoons while cleaning the infirmary. And this time, it was your turn to choose the song. So, You and Will were dueting ‘august’ by Taylor Swift when someone came in.

“But do you remember? Remember when I pulled up and said, "Get in the car" And then canceled my plans just in case you'd call? Back when I was livin' for the hope of it all, for the hope of it all "Meet me behind the mall" Remember–” you sang with Will.

“You’re having fun here,” Clarisse leaned on the doorframe.

You screamed, and turned around.

“Clarisse! Hi,” Will waved.

She gave you a questioning look. They had never met.

“This is Will Solace, my brother,” you smiled.

“Yeah, y/n talks about you all the time!” Will smile proudly, before you shoved him aside.

“Betrayal, I said all of these things in confidence, but whatever,” you dragged him outside. “Go grab some more supplies, we’re missing ambrosia.”

“But it’s ful–.”

You slammed the door.

“He doesn’t know what he’s saying,” you laughed, turning back to Clarisse.

“Sure,” she smirked.

“What are you doing here anyway?”

“I forgot to give you something.”

“A gift?” you beamed.

She took out a small tissue bag from her pocket and handed it to you. You opened it, and let the object slip into your palm. A ring.

“Are you proposing?” you joked.

She rolled her eyes, and smiled.

“I watched you pick this size when choosing yours, so you shouldn’t lose this one.”

“Thank you, it’s so pretty I love it!” you put it on your left index.

Clarisse had the one you gave her on her necklace.

“Great, don’t lose it.”

“I won’t!”

And just like that – in the blink of an eye – summer was over, and it was time for you to leave camp and go back home. You knew it was time to leave when Mr D started yelling that those who weren’t staying for the year to leave immediately because he had enough of seeing you bunch. When you walked away from your cabin, you noticed Clarisse was already waiting for you at the entrance of camp.

“I guess this is goodbye,” she smiled.

“Until October, for the field trip,” you corrected her. “I talked to Mr D and he said it was ok for me to come. So really it’s only two months away! And I’ll send letters, I’m sure Hermes Express have those next day delivery types of… offers?”

“Sure.”

You fiddled with your fingers.

“I’m going to miss you,” you admitted. “And I’ll miss Capture the Flag and being on your team, and I’ll miss sparing with you, and I’ll miss… seeing you everyday.”

Her eyes softened.

“Only two months, like you said.”

You nodded. Then, hesitantly, you opened your arms.

“What?” Clarisse frowned.

“We should hug goodbye.”

She had her arms crossed, but then she uncrossed them and you went to wrap your arms around her torso. She hesitantly wrapped her arms around your shoulders. When her arms loosened, you let go.

“I’ll see you soon Clarisse,” you squeezed her arm, before walking away.

“See you soon sunshine,” Clarisse watched you walk away, “I’ll miss you too,” but you were already too far away to hear it.

Once you were back home, the first thing you did was to go find your mom’s old walkerman. You had to go search the old boxes your mom had put away in the attic – it was difficult but worth it.

“Why do you need this?” your mother asked once you came out of the attic with her walkerman.

“It’s for— my friend?”

“Clarisse?”

“Yes. Clarisse.”

When you told your mother about your summer at camp, it had included a lot of Clarisse related stories.

“And I told her I’d send letters so we could keep in touch, but now I realise I can’t write for the life of me, and even if I did write something, she’s spent too much time trying to decipher what I wrote, and it's just not– good. So I thought I’d send her this,” you waved the walkerman, “and I’d buy empty cassettes to record things, and send pictures along with it.”

“Oh, that’s a very nice thing to do,” she nodded.

“Oh! I forgot to tell you– to ask you really. Hm, there is this field trip at camp… in october. It’d be during the halloween vacations, so I won’t miss school. Can I go, please?”

“Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Well that was easy.

So every week, you’d record what you did and update Clarisse about your life, you’d take pictures and buy her favourite snacks — you tried out a lot during your date — and ship it to camp half-blood. Clarisse would also send you pictures. The dinner, pictures of Will and behind one of his pictures he’d written ‘i miss u <3’ on the back, people training, their win at Capture the Flag, and you’d keep everything in a box dedicated to Clarisse.

Two months. Two months at camp went by fast, too fast even. But two months at school, minus your friends and the fun at camp, it was slow. You woke up every day at 6:45am, got ready and left for school, came back around 5:50pm and did your homework, ate, washed-up, and then scrolled on twitter, fighting with random accounts, and then went to sleep. Your routine was boring to no end, but you tried so you could have things to tell Clarisse. But life outside of camp was boring and your mother could see that.

“You know, if you wanted to stay at camp for the whole year, I wouldn’t stop you.”

Oh.

“But, what about you then? I don’t want you to live alone in this big ass mansion.”

“I’m an adult, I’ll be fine,” she reassured you.

“I won’t, knowing you’ll be alone.”

Your mom wasn’t on good terms with her parents after they learned that she’d be raising a kid alone, without marriage or even a boyfriend. After you were born, they did visit and spent time with you, but never with your mom, their daughter. So she couldn’t even call them to come live with her. You weren’t going to abandon her when she only has you.

“I–,” she put her chopsticks down, “I met someone at work.”

“What! What does that mean?”

“It means, I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Oh my– you’re trying to get rid of me to have—” you stared at her, mouth wide open from shock, “sex,” you mouthed.

“Oh grow up y/n, I’m an adult, where do you think you came from.”

“Uh– rude.”

“I’m just saying, this is your last year in high school, if next year you want to stay at camp, you can.”

“And you’d be fine with it?”

She nodded.

“What if I want to stay here, at home?”

“Then you’d stay here, as long as you want, this is your home as well.”

“I’ll– I’ll think about it.”

And then it was finally time to leave for camp again. Your mom drove you to the airport and you left with your suitcase in hand. It was the longest flight ever, and the cab seemed to be driving even slower than a snail. An old lady on foot was faster than this, but then you were finally there.

“Are you sure this is where you want to get out?” the cab driver asked, seeing the empty road.

“Yes,” you gave him the money, “keep the change, bye.”

When you arrived at camp, Chiron was waiting for you at the entrance already, and you greeted him happily.

“How was the trip to camp?”

“Great. Long and tiring for sure, but I’m so excited too.”

“Good, we’re going to leave soon, you can go put your things in your cabin first.”

The first one to spot you was Cornelia, and she came running to hug you. And then Will came in very quickly to give you a hug as well.

“I missed you guys so much,” you smiled.

“I wish you were staying here all the time,” Will said. “I’m all alone at the infirmary.”

“You’re leaving him alone?” you gasped at Michael.

“He kicked me out! Said you had a whole system going on there and I wasn’t following it correctly.”

“He also wasn’t doing karaoke afternoons with me,” Will told you.

“How dare he. That’s ‘cause he has no taste.”

“I can hear you,” Michael stood beside you.

“Do you mind? I’m having a private conversation.”

“Yeah do you mind, we’re having a private conversation,” Will repeated.

It felt great to be at camp – it felt safe, familiar and comforting. You put your suitcase beside your bed, and grabbed some chocolate bars from your backpack and put them in your pocket. Will, who stayed by your side, pleaded with his eyes to get one too and you couldn’t resist.

“I’ll give you more later,” you promised him.

You left your cabin with your siblings as it was time to leave camp. Everyone was on their way to the entrance. You looked around, hoping to catch Clarisse, and there she was, way ahead of you. You turned around, facing your siblings and after a brief “see you up there”, you ran off.

Clarisse was talking to her brother, and she looked around for you. She was expecting you to be beside Chiron at the entrance, but you weren't. Maybe you were late? When suddenly, she felt someone jump on her back, and her immediate response was to grab their arm and throw them on the ground.

“Ugh! Motherfucker,” you moaned, laying on the ground, with Clarisse holding down on your arm on the ground.

“What the hell!” Clarisse immediately let go and helped you get up. “Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to surprise you,” you rubbed your arm. “Why would you do that?”

“You jumped on me! Are you ok?” Clarisse worried.

You stared at her, dumbstruck.

“No! I’m not!”

Just when she was about to talk, Chiron called for all the campers to gather around, and you left without giving her the chance to speak. Your whole back was aching, and you tried not to think about it too much, but that was impossible because of Clarisse’s strength. Clarisse tried to grab your arm to slow you down, but you shook her off. Then, Michael and Lee just had to get involved.

“Butt off Clarisse,” Michael squeezed himself between you two. “Didn’t you do enough by crushing y/n to dust? So much for being friends,” he snickered.

“Fuck off Michael unless you want to wake up in the morning missing your front row teeth,” Clarisse spat.

Michael did back away a little, bumping into you.

“How can you be friends with her,” he turned around to look at you.

Clarisse has been wondering the same thing for the past few days. The Apollo cabin and the Ares cabin weren’t known to be friendly with each other. They tolerated each other at best when they were on the same team for Capture the Flag, but that was it. And when you left, she started to wonder about your friendship. Maybe you’d forget about her once you’re back at home. And the first week, all she could think about was when – or if – you’d reach out.

But every Sunday, at 9:00am she’d receive a package with your recording and pictures and candy for your siblings and her. You had never given her any reason to doubt your relationship, but not everyone in your cabin, or at camp, were thinking that way. Michael had been one of those people, always wondering loud and clear about your friendship. So that was Clarisse’s final straw.

She grabbed Michael’s collar, ready to punch him, but Lee tried to calm the situation down.

“Clarisse, please don’t,” Lee grabbed Michael’s hands, “he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“He clearly does. He’s been talking about it nonstop for the past few weeks.”

You frowned. You looked at Michael, then Lee and finally at Clarisse. The pure rage in her eyes would make anyone run away, but you stepped up.

“Clarisse,” you put your hands on her arms, “it’s fine, let go please. Chiron is waiting for us.”

She locked her eyes with you, clearly still upset about the situation, and pushed Michael away, but Lee was behind to hold him back.

“Clarisse, what was that about?”

“It’s nothing,” she shrugged, “it’s fine. See you.”

And she walked away, leaving you confused. You turned around, giving a questioning look at your brothers, but Lee only mouthed a ‘I don’t know’ and Michael avoided your gaze. You were ready to argue with them, but Will came running, telling you they were ready to leave.

The trip to the Empire State Building was long, especially with Clarisse ignoring you. You tried talking to Michael, but he was also ignoring you, and suddenly, everyone at camp lost their ability to talk. Annoyed, you went to the back of the bus, where no one was. But then Will came.

“What’s wrong? You look like Clarisse all the time. Frowning and sulking.”

“I’m not!” you relaxed your face. “Also while we're talking about Clarisse, what’s that about how we’re not supposed to be friends?”

Will grimaced, and looked away for a second.

“People have been wondering about how you, sweet and fun Apollo daughter, could be friends with ruthless Clarisse La Rue, Ares daughter. Because the Apollo cabin does not get along with the Ares cabin, like at all.”

“And Clarisse was upset? Over people’s opinions about us?”

“Well…” Will stretched that vowel for far too long. “You know people, and how they love to gossip. And somehow it went from enemy cabins to how there are better friends to have… than Clarisse. And how she’s not… worth it,” he hesitated. “And she only brings you trouble… things like that.”

You were too stunned to give any type of answers.

“Clarisse doesn’t look like someone who cares about those kind of rumours and speculations, but insecurities are created by people’s opinion,” Will said, “that’s what Lee told me when people were talking about me and I started to feel bad.”

“What were people talking about?” you frowned.

“I’m not as good as you all with my archery skills.”

“That’s not–, I mean it doesn’t matter.”

“I know, Lee and Cornelia and Michael and everyone at our cabin was there to tell me that.”

“Okay, and they’re right.”

“I’m saying… maybe Clarisse doesn't have that sort of support system. And maybe she is starting to feel like other people are right.”

“Oh.”

You looked at where Clarisse was sitting, in the middle, sitting next to her sister. It was a four seat table, and her three siblings were all laughing and shouting, but Clarisse wasn’t. She was staring out the window, her arms crossed.

You saw her frown and turned her head in your direction, but when she saw you looking at her, she quickly turned her head to her siblings.

“You should talk to her, and clear things up. Because Clarisse is nice. I like her.”

“Since when? You never talk.”

“Clarisse is nice to me, she always has been since we’ve met that one time,” he admitted. “I think she deserves good friends. Like us.”

“I think so too,” you agreed.

When it was time to get off the bus, everyone rushed out, separating you from Clarisse even further. Well, the talk had to wait.

The trip to the 600th floor took too long. Every cabin went one by one since it couldn’t hold the whole camp at once. The Ares cabin went before the Apollo cabin, but Clarisse stood straight and looked ahead. She had her back turned to you, even once inside the elevator, but at the last minute she turned around and locked eyes with you.

“We’ll talk,” you mouthed clearly.

There was no escaping you. When it was your turn, you stepped in last so you could leave first. It took forever to reach floor 600. And just as you expected, there was no sign of Clarisse. She stayed close to her brothers.

Each cabin had to do a presentation in front of the gods, and it was the worst thing for them and for you all too. Every time they clapped at the end, you knew it wasn’t as a compliment but more as a cheers to being closer to the end.

After that, there was a big feast. The gods watching you eat and burn your food for them – it was weird and you couldn’t keep your eyes off your father. His tanned skin, golden hair, and bright smile.

“Blinding isn’t he,” Lee said.

“Yeah, I should’ve brought my sunglasses. Do you ever talk?”

“Not much. They don’t come just to hang around their kids.”

“He kinda looks like a classmate I’d have if people at my school weren’t all dressed like they just left prison. He looks young.”

“You’ll get used to it eventually,” Lee shrugged.

After dinner, campers just hang around talking, and some of the gods would come and talk to their children. You looked around and spotted the Hermes cabin staying together, far away from the main event, and then you tried to look for Clarisse, but she was nowhere. You turned around and bumped into your father. You quickly stepped away.

“Sorry,” you mumbled.

“It’s alright. How have you been? Have you been settling well with everything?” he smiled.

“Um… Yes.”

What more could you say? You weren’t going to start saying the truth to this god that happened to be your father.

“How is your mother?”

“Great,” you nodded, smiling. “She’s been seeing someone you know, after,” you looked at your wrist and pretended there was a watch, “eighteen years of having no one.”

“y/n,” he sighed looking away, “that’s just how things work with us gods. She knew from the start who I was, I told her.”

“It’s fine. I was merely stating a fact.”

Please somebody end this conversation, you prayed.

“Well, well, well,” someone slapped your dad’s shoulder.

“Ares,” your dad greeted him. “This is y/n, my daughter.”

“Ah, the girl my daughter has been seeing.”

Apollo whipped his head around, beaming at you.

“You have a girlfriend?” he held you in his arms. “I’m so proud of you. Way to go, who and where is the lucky girl.”

You stared at him, and then at Ares, mouth wide open in shock.

“I– I don’t! It’s– It’s not!” you stuttered. “I don’t have a girlfriend. Clarisse is my friend, who is a girl indeed. So yeah girl,” you paused, “friend. I haven’t been seeing her, I’ve been seeing her as in, she lives at camp and so did I during the summer!”

“Oh,” he let go of you. “My bad. You could’ve been more clear,” he looked at Ares. “Well I have to go now,” he walked away. “See you soon, y/n.”

Ares didn’t follow your father. He stayed with you, staring at you. Clarisse looked at you the same way when you first arrived at camp.

“I feel like I know you from somewhere,” you admitted.

“Well, I am the war god. They had to have shown you my picture somewhere between those classes they have,” he nodded toward Chiron.

“No, it’s not that,” you frowned.

Meanwhile, Clarisse was talking to Mark when she spotted Apollo leaving in a hurry, and she looked at where he came from. And her eyes spotted you immediately, and then she saw her father standing tall, towering over you.

“Fuck,” she mumbled before leaving the conversation without any notice.

She rushed to where you stood. There was no way she was going to let you alone with her father.

“... on twitter!” you shouted, hiding a smile. “Clarisse, I was just telling your father about us knowing each other through twitter!”

“What?” she mumbled, pulling you closer to her.

“I’m always starting fights with him on twitter, because he’s always talking shit and nonsense. He doesn’t know me though.”

“Wait–,” Ares interrupted. “Are you that fan account of that blonde singer?”

“Yes!” you laughed.

He snickered, then stopped and turned to Clarisse.

“Clarisse.”

“Dad.”

Then he stared at you, before going back to Clarisse.

“You can leave now,” he gave you a brief look. “I want to talk to Clarisse. Alone.”

Clarisse, who the whole time didn’t let go of your hand, squeezed it. Hard. Before letting go. But you didn’t move, slightly worried.

“I–,” you started, but Clarisse turned to you, face blank.

“I’ll find you after this, go.”

You nodded without arguing and left. You quickly spotted your siblings and joined them, listening to what they were saying. You’d glance at Clarisse’s direction, and all you could see was Clarisse nodding, looking at her feet. Ares was in his human form, but even like that he looked impressive. He was tall and broad, he had these eyes you didn’t want to look straight into from fear. He gave Clarisse a final, firm, pat on the shoulder before leaving her there. She stood there for a full minute before straightening her back and searched for you in the ocean of people. But before she could find you, you were already on your way to her.

“Are you okay?” you immediately asked.

“I’m fine.”

“What did he say to you?”

“He…” she hesitated. “It doesn’t matter.”

You stood there, torn between insisting and letting it go. If you insisted when she wasn’t ready to talk, then you’d be a pushy friend who doesn’t respect any boundaries. But if you didn’t, then maybe it’d seem like you didn’t care.

“Okay,” you nodded slowly. “Well, if you don’t have anything more to say, I do.”

“y/n…” Clarisse sighed.

“No! You ignored me the whole day when I just came back for you. And then that thing that happened with Michael,” she rolled her eyes at the mention of his name, “what was that about?”

“It doesn’t—”

“Stop saying that! It does matter. It matters to me how you feel. About this and everything else.”

Clarisse stared at you. Her eyes pleading with you to let it go.

“I just…” you sighed, defeated. “I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. And I don’t—” you groaned in frustration. “Will told me,” you admitted, “about what people have been saying and what Michael has been saying,” you found it hard to find your words. “I– I want you to know that’s not what I think. And I—.”

You should’ve been rehearsing this. You took a deep breath.

“They’re not right about this. And I don’t want you to think that they are. Because you, Clarisse La Rue, are the best friend anyone could ask for. And because of you, I’m better than ever. I’ve been a better fighter because of you, I’ve been a better friend because of you. You taught me how to stand up for myself, and I’ve just been happier since I’ve met you. So I don’t want you to listen to what people have to say.”

Clarisse still hadn’t said anything, which was excruciating. Just as you were about to continue ranting about this, she pulled you in her arms. You wrapped your arms around her, and put your head on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and let go.

It didn’t last long enough, but you’ll take what she gave you.

“Are we ok?”

“We’re ok,” Clarisse nodded.

The rest of the evening was spent with you sitting on some big rocks that served as chairs, catching up. She’d tell about all the times she won at Capture the Flag, she’d tell you about the indigestion everyone had due to food poisoning that one day, she’d tell you about that time she had to go to the infirmary and only let Will heal her because there was no way she’d let Michael help her. She’d tell you about every little thing you’d miss during those months when you went home, and you listened to everything she had to say, with your head resting on her shoulder.

“Oh gods,” you straightened your back, pointing ahead of you. “Is that your dad with Aphrodite?”

“Fuck,” she cringed. “Are they making out?”

“I mean– he definitely is. It’s weird,” you looked away, then went back to staring at them.

“Stop staring at my dad sucking the goddess of love’s face.”

“Are you sure he’s your dad though? Cause Aphrodite looks exactly like you.”

Clarisse whipped her head around, eyes wide, staring at you.

“What?” she breathed.

“What, what?”

She paused, still staring at you.

“Nothing,” she smiled, and then looked back, “they’re gone.”

“Finally. It’s gross to make out in front of your children like that.”

All the campers spent the night in Olympus, all sleeping in the same area. The room looked exactly like inside a normal cabin at camp, with bunk beds and cupboards, and for once, friends from different cabins were allowed to sleep together. You dragged Clarisse with you, where the Apollo cabin stayed.

“We’re all used to staying together,” you explained, “but you can stay with me. Are you sleeping on the top bunk or bottom one?”

“Bottom one,” Clarisse sat on the bed.

“Ooh,” Cornelia sat next to Clarisse,” so does y/n.”

“It’s fine, it’s only for one night,” you waved it off.

“Did you see Clarisse’s dad making out in the open with their mother,” Cornelia pointed at the Aphrodite children.

“We did!” you squealed, squeezing yourself between the two of them.

“I think everyone did,” Clarisse added.

“Did you notice how Aphrodite looked exactly like Clarisse,” you looked at Cornelia.

Her eyes widened, and shook her head slightly. Clarisse was leaning against the bed frame, her legs crossed on the bed, smirking. You frowned.

“What?” you mouthed.

“We’ll come back”, Cornelia dragged you away.

“What?”

“Do you know what it means to perceive Aphrodite, the goddess of love, beauty, passion and lust, as someone you know?” she asked.

“As someone I know? What does that mean?”

“Aphrodite doesn’t look like Clarisse,” she explained, “you perceive the goddess as such because you think Clarisse is those things.”

“Oh,” you paused. “Is that common knowledge or?”

You hoped not.

“Yeah it is, so you probably shouldn’t say those things in front of Clarisse if you’re not…”

“If I’m not what?”

“Nevermind.”

“I already told her, twice now with what happened a few minutes ago. Oh gods, couldn’t you have taught me this earlier!” you panicked. “What–What does that mean though? Do I– Am I—,” you gave a quick glance at Clarisse.

“I don’t know! I mean, you did ask her on a date like the first week you arrived at camp, what could that mean?”

“I don’t know? I think she’s pretty, and– and apparently I think she could look exactly like the goddess of love herself. It’s—,” you took a deep breath.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to know.”

“I think,” you hesitated. “I don’t know!” you whined. “Clarisse is nice to me, she’s fun to be around, she’s pushing me upwards and I think I might– maybe– perhaps have a tiny crush on her, yes,” you admitted.

“Aw,” she beamed, “I think you’d make such a cute couple.”

“Calm your tits down,” you playfully rolled your eyes, “I don’t know if this will ever go further than us being friends. Now look natural, and never tell anyone else this. Okay, let’s go back.”

Clarisse was talking to Will when you two came back, but they abruptly stopped. Will stood so Cornelia and you could sit.

“What was that about?” Cornelia asked them.

“It’s a secret,” Will smiled.

“We were talking about how sunshine over there thought I looked like a goddess,” Clarisse grinned.

Will tried to hide his laugh.

“No one told me!” you hid your face in your hand from embarrassment. “You could’ve stopped me the first time I said it,” you accused Clarisse, who was still laughing.

“The first?” Will interrupted.

“Both times in front of Clarisse,” Cornelia added. “It was hard to watch,” she teased you.

Time went by very fast when you’re surrounded by friends and family, because it was already time to go to sleep. The lights disappeared, and you climbed onto your bed, and whispered Clarisse a goodnight before closing your eyes.

The silence was deafening. You couldn’t fall asleep, you needed white noises, music, anything but this. You tossed around, left your right leg outside the blanket, but then it was too cold, so you put it back inside, and tossed around again.

“What the hell y/n,” Clarisse whispered loudly.

“Sorry, I can’t fall asleep.”

“Why?” she sighed.

“It’s too quiet, and I’m cold.”

Clarisse let out a bigger sigh, before getting up.

“Where’re you going?” you sat up.

“Get down here, and bring your blanket.”

You did as she told you. You put the blanket on your shoulders and climbed down.

“Get in the bed,” she pointed at hers.

You did as she told you. And then she climbed back inside her bed, next to you, with both blankets on you. The beds on Olympus were bigger than the ones at camp, so it was no problem to fit you two in one single bed.

“Better?”

“Yes,” you nodded.

Clarisse fell asleep very quickly, like always. As soon as she closed her eyes, she was gone. But it took more time with you, you were used to looking at your phone until your eyelids were too tired to stay open, but now you couldn’t. You had nothing, only Clarisse sleeping peacefully next to you.

She slept on her back, with her head tilted toward you. Unlike her, you slept on your side, so you turned your back to her, and closed your eyes. And just as you were about to fall asleep, you felt Clarisse arms wrapping around you to bring you closer to her. And then, in an instant, you were gone.

The happiness from staying at camp didn’t last long as it was already time to go home and say goodbye to everyone. Your holidays came to an end and so did your stay at camp, and just like last time, Clarisse was already waiting for you at the entrance.

“So,” you started, ‘I guess we’ll see each other next summer?”

“Yea,” she nodded. “Next summer.”

“I’ll be there as soon as I can,” you promised, “and I’ll keep sending you updates, though I don’t know if I’ll continue to be as regular as before. I do have my high school diploma to get, and I’ll have less time but I’ll do my best!”

“It’s okay, good luck on your exams. I know you’ll do great.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, but still didn’t leave.

It was too soon, and it felt like you barely spent any time with Clarisse and your siblings.

“Did you say goodbye to Will and the others?” Clarisse asked.

“Yea, before I left the cabin I did. It sucks that I have to, but–,” you hesitated, “maybe I won’t have to next year.”

“You wouldn’t?”

“I don’t know yet, but… it’s a possibility.”

“Oh,” she smiled, “okay.”

“Okay. Well… I have to go now.”

“Okay.”

You two stood there, without moving. But then you lunged forward and hugged her tightly.

“I’ll miss you,” you whispered.

And you let go, and left before she could give you her answer.

One recording per week became one every other week, and by December, it was only one per month. Clarisse didn’t send anything from December to February either, but then on a random day in March, you received a package from Hermes Express with Clarisse’s usual pictures from camp, without any notes explaining what happened those last few months. You didn’t mention it either, but you gave yourself a quick reminder to ask her when you’d be back at camp.

“It’s almost time, are you ready?” your mom asked.

“Yep, a minute!”

Your exams were done, you didn’t have the results yet but that didn’t matter – your mom promised she’d send them to you once she’d receive them so you could leave for camp peacefully. You packed lightly – a third of your belongings were already at camp – and went inside the cab your mom had called for you.

“Be careful okay,” she kissed your temple. “And write to me about your decision, okay?”

“I will, I promise,” you gave her a last quick hug and closed the cab door.

The journey to camp felt familiar now, you’d done it a few times already so it was a stress free trip. So you kept your suitcase close to you, you turned your phone off, and walked.

But something was off when you got closer to the entrance. It was loud. Louder than usual, and there were more people at the border everywhere as well, which were usually empty. You crossed the entrance, and most campers were wearing their gears, and weapons.

“What the hell,” you whispered.

You quickly noticed Clarisse, giving orders to campers, and walking around. When she turned around, she spotted you and ran to you, very quickly.

“Why didn’t you tell me earlier when you were going to be here!” she shot.

“I wanted to surprise you! Why are you yelling at me!” you shouted back.

Clarisse stepped back and mouthed a quick apology.

“A lot of things happened while you were gone,” she explained.

“Like when you stopped sending me anything?”

She nodded reluctantly.

“A new camper came in, got claimed by Poseidon, and then got his quest to retrieve Zeus’ stolen bolt, and…” she hesitated. “We know who stole it in the first place. Luke.”

“Luke?” your eyes widened. “As in Castellan, Hermes' head– former head counsellor?”

She nodded again.

“And now Thalia’s tree has been poisoned, meaning the camp’s borders are weakened and we have to keep them safe ourselves.”

“Okay,” you proceeded with this information as fast as you could. “Okay.”

“I was worried sick for the past few days! You didn’t send me anything like last time. I didn’t know when you were going to be here, or if you’d gotten attacked and died.”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know. Why didn’t you tell me this earlier!” you argued.

“I–,” she hesitated, “I didn’t want to burden you with your studies.”

“They’re not important, this is obviously my priority and much more important.”

“Okay,” she looked around. “Stay beside me, I want to keep an eye on you whenever a battle is going to break out.”

You frowned.

“That’s cute, but I’d be much more useful if I stayed with the rest of the Apollo cabin where we’re needed. I’m a great fighter, I know,” you said before she could interrupt, “thanks to you, but I’m much better at archery.”

She stared at you, then looked down.

“I can’t…” she whispered, “I can’t protect you if you’re this far away from me.”

“Clarisse,” you cupped her face. “I’ll be fine, I promise. You worry about staying alive, and I’ll do the same. It’s going to be fine. Remember, you taught me everything I know.”

She nodded reluctantly.

“Okay.”

“Where’s your spear by the way?” you asked when she walked you to your cabin.

She grimaced, and sighed.

“Gone.”

“Gone? Wha–.”

“Percy Jackson,” she spat. “The new kid, I’m sure you’ll meet him soon enough.”

You threw your stuff inside your cabin, and changed your clothes before walking out with Clarisse still outside, waiting for you. Clarisse was about to talk, but was interrupted by screams from campers at the entrance.

You looked at each other and ran off to where the screams were, and saw it. Two immense bulls – colchis Bulls – coming straight towards campers.

“Go find Lee, I’ll handle this from here. He’ll know what to do,” Clarisse ordered before walking away.

“Clarisse!” you shouted before she was out of range. She turned her head. “Be careful.”

She nodded.

“Don’t die,” she added before leaving.

#clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue fanfic #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue pjo #clarisse la rue x you #clarisse la rue imagine #clarisse la rue

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breakavleheaven · 10 months

Text

Revival

Authors note:

Hi!

This is a series I’m writing called revival. It will be my first ever fic I’ve written so please be easy on me. I think most parts will be inspired by a tswift song🫶🏻 part one is loosely based on the song gorgeous. I hope you enjoy 😊

There will be a few time jumps in this series, nothing too major. Probably a few continuity errors eg. how long carlos and Celine have been together vs what team he was with during those years.

Parings: Carlos Saniz x oc , eventual Lando Norris x oc

Warnings:

Angst, slow burn, Bad/inappropriate language, slight age gap Carlos is 5 years older than oc. Asshole!Carlos. Mentions of cheating. Sexual themes. Google translated Spanish. Scuderia Ferrari.

Maybe a few grammar mistakes.

Pt 1. Gorgeous

What. The. Fuck.

Celine's mind was racing as she couldn't help but think that the past five years had just been flushed down the drain. Her time wasted, and the years she and Carlos had spent together building their lives were over. Struggling to control her silent sobs in the club bathroom, the scene she had just witnessed kept replaying on a loop in her head.

Minutes ago, she had seen Carlos making out with another woman in the back of a dark Vegas club. The woman was straddling him, her hands running through Carlos' signature dark and flawless hair. His hands were roaming her backside, gripping her ass. It was then that Celine caught a glimpse of the ring that adorned his right pointer finger. It was unmistakably clear that it was the one she had bought him for their five-year anniversary that past spring.

They should be celebrating Carlos' first-place podium finish and securing Ferrari's second place in the constructor's championship. But instead, she saw him entangled with another woman, and her heart was shattered.

2 hours earlier- 2023 Las Vegas Grand Prix

As Celine sat in the Ferrari garage, she couldn't control her nerves, watching her boyfriend drive at insane speeds down the last Vegas strip for the past hour and a half. Four laps to go, and Carlos was in second place, a few hundredths of a second behind Max. She was oblivious to the camera that was focused on her as she listened intently to her boyfriend's radio.

His engineer's voice came through the radio system. "Carlos, you are .100 of a second behind Verstappen. Keep pushing, we can do this. Norris is .200 behind."

"You do not need to tell me, I have eyes. You will mess up my concentration."

"Copy."

Celine rolled her eyes and let out a slight laugh. Yeah, Ferrari's strategy hasn't always had the best track record, but they have been on top of it this year.

"We are now on the second-last lap of the first Las Vegas Grand Prix, and it has been an exciting one. Verstappen is in the lead, but the Spanish driver Sainz is right behind him and shows no sign of letting up." The excited voice of Martin Bundel rang through the F1 broadcast.

Celine's sweaty hands gripped together in front of her like a prayer, her Ferrari red nails digging into her skin, and her bottom lip she was biting so hard blood was bound to start flowing out.

"Last lap, and Sainz is still not letting up. He has an opportunity to pass coming up at the next corner. Will he go for it?"

She inhaled deeply.

"SAINZ HAS JUST PASSED THE RED BULL DRIVER AND IS APPROACHING THE CHECKERED FLAG”.

Celine threw off her headphones and jumped up out of her seat.

"The Ferrari has done it! Carlos Sainz has won the first-ever Las Vegas Grand Prix and secured Ferrari's second place in the Constructors' Championship. That's P1 for Sainz, P2 for Verstappen, and P3 for Norris." Crofty shouted excitedly.

As she made her way to the barrier of parc fermé, tears started flowing. She was so proud after all the years he had struggled. He may have only just won a race and landed Ferrari that second place in the Constructors' Championship, but he had fought hard, and overtaking Max, especially on the last lap, was no easy task.

Carlos, like all the other drivers, was too many points behind Max to be awarded the world champion at the next race in Abu Dhabi, but regardless, she couldn't help but beam at what her boyfriend had accomplished.

As he pulled up, she was pushing her way to the front of the barrier to greet him, with most of the engineers moving out of her way. He spotted her right away and ran over, placing a longing kiss on her lips and said, "Eso fue para ti. Te amaré por siempre." (That was for you. I love you forever.) She beamed at him. "You are amazing, my love," she replied. He then greeted and thanked his team for all their work.

When Lando hopped out of his car, he approached Carlos and gave him a pat on the back, and the two congratulated each other. Lando went to where his family and team were to thank them, and his eyes quickly scanned the crowd before spotting Celine. She could have sworn his grin became a little wider. He then approached her and reached over to give her a hug. "Congrats, Lando. You had a great race!" she said with a smile. You consider Lando a close friend, ever since he and Carlos were teammates at McLaren. The two of you were slightly closer in age than yourself and Carlos, and you formed a quick friendship. You still stayed friends even as Carlos moved to Ferrari.

The podium celebrations were chaotic, to say the least, with the three men completely soaking each other in champagne.

Bringing herself back to reality, she quickly realized she needed to get a grip. Carlos didn't know she had just witnessed his infidelity. One thing she knew for sure was cheating was inexcusable, and she was not interested in continuing their relationship, no matter how many years were being thrown away.

She took a few minutes to gather herself and took some deep breaths, rinsed her face with cool water from the tap, and removed any of her ruined makeup. She found her mascara, concealer, and lipstick in her bag and quickly reapplied them.

Celine looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. You wouldn't be able to guess she was bawling her eyes out a few minutes before. She straightened out her tight black dress that hugged her body perfectly and knew she looked hot. She came to a decision—for the time being, she was going to pretend that she had witnessed nothing. Just because he ruined her didn't mean she was going to ruin this night for anyone else here. She wasn't selfish. She was going to get drunk, have a good time, and avoid Carlos to the best of her ability until she could deal with him.

She finally stepped out of the bathroom and made her way back into the crowded area of the club. Carlos quickly spotted her and came to her side. She wanted to push him away, but she resisted the temptation.

"Amor, where have you been? You had me worried for a bit," he said. Mentally, she rolled her eyes, but she looked up at him through her long eyelashes with the best fake grin and said, "I went to the bathroom but realized I needed a bit of air, so I stepped out for a few minutes with Alexandra," knowing the elegant brunette girlfriend of his teammate would have her back. He smiled gently at her before asking if she was alright, to which she responded she was just getting too hot inside the crowded club. She told him she was going to grab a drink at the bar, which he nodded to and placed a kiss on her forehead. She walked away, and then wiped her forehead when she knew he wouldn't be watching.

She got to the bar and quickly ordered a shot of tequila and a double vodka soda. The curly-haired man next to her asked to add another tequila to that, then turned to face her with a grin. She saw the fresh glass of whiskey in his hands, slightly swirling around in his glass with the ice hitting the side of the glass with a slight clink, she realized it was Lando.

“Wow, tequila shots alone?" she smirked. "When in Vegas," she replied with a wink. Lando let out a low chuckle. "You look beautiful tonight, Celine," he complimented. "Thank you, Lando. You clean up pretty nice yourself.”

She temporarily got lost in her thoughts as she realized Carlos hadn't even complimented her tonight. The sound of glasses being placed on the counter pulled her from her thoughts. Lando was quick to place a few bills on the counter to cover both drinks.

"You don't have to do that," she told the Brit. He just smiled at her and shook his head. "If anything, I should be buying you a drink, Mr. P3," he rolled his eyes. "A thank you would be fine, Celine," she smirked. "Thank you, Lando," she said sweetly as the pair raised their shot glasses and clinked them together. She brought the glass to her mouth, tipped it back, swallowed quickly, and then licked her lips. Lando's eyes flickered down to her lips. She pretended not to notice. She had always found Lando attractive. Anyone with eyes would say the same thing. He had this frat boy vibe that was working for him. But she was in a relationship, so she had never really thought about it. Or rather, she had been in a relationship up until 30 minutes ago. She gave Lando a smile before thanking him again for the drinks, grabbing her vodka soda, and walking off to find Alex.

---

Lando knew he was in trouble, even from the first time Carlos brought Celine to the McLaren garage. He had harbored a small crush on the woman for years, but since she was his ex-teammate's & friend's girlfriend, he pushed those feelings away and pretended he didn't feel that way. He had mastered it so well he thought he could have won an Oscar.

She looked so gorgeous today, majorly so. It physically pained him. Even at the race when he saw her at the barricade, his stomach flipped. Oh, how he wished she was there to cheer him on. He shouldn't even be thinking about her like this. He really shouldn't have been flirting with her at the bar, and he certainly shouldn't have bought her those drinks either. But he couldn't resist. That short black dress she was wearing did nothing to help his thoughts. It hugged her curves in all the right places, showcasing her cleavage and sculpted butt. Not to mention when she licked her lips, he couldn't help but let his mind wander. He would love to taste her lips and pull her bottom lip between his teeth, then she would let out a small moan—He groaned and shook his head. No, no way, nope. He couldn't be thinking about Carlos' girlfriend like that. This was making him miserable.

Part 2 part 3

#f1 #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #carlos sainz imagine #lando norris imagine #f1 fanfic #carlos sainz fanfic #lando norris fanfic

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elisysd · 10 months

Text

Till Forever Falls Apart - Ashe, Finneas

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

And if the sky falls from Heaven above Oh, I know, I had the best time falling into love

Lyanna spent her Saturday in front of her computer screen and frequently checked her phone. Today was the first race weekend of the season. She hadn't had Charles the day before, too busy with filming, but she was happy to have the weekend off. Qualifying was about to start and she was as stressed as if she were the one in the Ferrari. Add to that the fact that she hadn't really spoken to Charles for a few days, both of them far too busy and the time difference not helping, and she was really far too anxious.

Q1 went extremely well for Charles and Lyanna soon realised that the qualifying session was going to be between her boyfriend and Max. They kept on trading times. When it wasn't Max setting the fastest lap, it was Charles and vice versa. Then came Q2, which saw the elimination of Carlos just a tenth behind Pierre. Lyanna was very happy for the Frenchman and promised to send a message to Pierre as soon as the session was over, as he had put in a very fine performance. Then came Q3. Much to Lyanna's dismay, Charles just missed out on pole position, which went to Max. Even though she was very proud of him and thought he was incredible. She knew he would be disappointed when she spoke to him on the phone later.

“I made a mistake in my trajectory. And that cost me the pole. How stupid can I be?” he told her as soon as she picked up the phone.

“You’re not stupid. Mistakes happen, Charles. And you’re P2! That’s so cool!”

“Yeah… good feelings with the car as well. It’s reassuring for tomorrow. As long as I don’t mess up, maybe there is a slight possibility for a podium.”

“I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

“You call me tomorrow, before the race, right?” he asked her.

“Of course, I will.”

And she kept her promise. The next day, the first thing Lyanna did when she got up in the morning was to rummage through Charles's drawers for a Ferrari T-shirt so she could put it on and send Charles a photo. She didn't have to wait long before her phone rang and Charles' name came up.

“How is my number one supporter doing?”

“Excited to see you race, actually. What are you up to?”

“I just arrived in the paddock and I was heading to a team meeting before seeing your text. I just wanted to call you before. I’m not sure that I will have the time to do so later.”

“I know your busy. And I know you are going to be even busier when you’ll step on that podium so it’s just nice to hear you, even if it’s only for a few minutes.”

“I… I got to go. I’m sorry, I wish I had more time with you.”

“I understand. If I don’t hear from you before the race just remember, be fast, come back to me and I love you.”

“I love you too, my Lya.”

And indeed, Lyanna had no news of Charles before the race. With a cup of tea in her hand, she made herself comfortable on the sofa and prepared to watch the start. She held her breath as the lights went out and Charles set off to overtake Max at the first corner. The Dutchman had anticipated Charles' move and blocked him, allowing Lewis to pass Charles. The next 15 laps saw a merciless battle between Hamilton's Mercedes and Charles' Ferrari. The red car finally got away and then abandoned the seven-time world champion to chase down Max, who was 8 seconds ahead. As the laps went by, it became clear that Charles had more pace than the Red Bull. He eventually caught up with him and then tried to overtake him again, with 10 laps to go.

Lyanna held her breath until Charles managed to overtake Max. He did so without difficulty and Max put up no resistance. He let Charles go. With three laps to go, Lyanna picked up her phone and dialled Pascale's number to follow the end of the race with Charles's mother. When Charles crossed the chequered flag, both women were in tears. For Lyanna, it was a mixture of pride, joy, and bitterness at not being close to him to experience this. She knew that this victory would be good for Charles's morale, especially as he had left Max 12 seconds behind him, which was rare enough to be worth mentioning.

“He did it Pascale! He did it!” exclaimed Lyanna as she could hear Charles’ mom sobbing from the other end of the line.

“I’ll call him tomorrow, I’m sure he wants to have you as soon as possible. Tell him that I’m proud of him.”

On the podium, Lyanna could see Charles' emotion as the Monaco anthem was played. He looked around for the camera and when he found it, he gave it a big smile and a wink, and Lyanna knew it was meant for her and his family.

As soon as the podium was over, Lyanna sent Charles a message to congratulate him and to ask him to let her know when she could call him. She didn't want to disturb him and the simplest thing was for him to tell her when he was available. She waited and waited, but no message was received.

When she woke up the next morning, her first instinct was to check her phone. A text message from Charles was waiting for her. But instead of reassuring her, the text worried her.

Heyy baby sorry for not calling I went out to celebrate

Charles never began his texts with a hey, even less a hey baby. It’s always a hi Lya. From as long as she knew him it had always been that way, hence her concern. She tried calling him, not really caring what time it was in Bahrain or even if he was still there. No answer.

And that's when she had the very bad idea of going online and looking up Charles's name. And she quickly came across videos of her boyfriend in a nightclub with certain members of the team she could recognise. Charles seemed to be having a great time laughing and drinking. This hurt her more than anything. Not that Charles was out, he could do what he wanted, she trusted him. But she would have preferred to be warned rather than wait for a message that would never come. She would have understood.

And the day didn't get any better. When she arrived on location, the production assistant came to tell her that an electrical problem had occurred during the night and that the day's shooting had been cancelled. So she went home emotionally exhausted, with only the urge to curl up in bed. So she did what she usually did when she was feeling blue, she called her mum.

“Lyanna? I wasn’t expecting to hear from you…”

That was all it took for Lyanna to start sniffling and sobbing.

“Oh my darling… what’s wrong?

“I’m so tired mom… so tired.”

“Tell me. What happened?”

“It’s just… shitty day at work. And I feel under pressure lately. The shooting is tough and I don’t want anyone to worry but I lost weight because of the stress. I don’t have fun with this movie. I mean, I learn a lot but it’s really demanding in terms of energy. I know that I’ll be proud at the end but right now? It’s just too much. And then, Charles really chose the right time to ignore me and…”

“To what? He does what, Lya?”

“I mean… he doesn’t ignore me on purpose. I guess he is also really busy… He won, mom. And I’m so happy for him but I still did not have the occasion to tell him because he went partying with his friends and team, which is fine, he deserves it. And maybe Ferrari didn’t want him to use his phone to avoid bad press in case he would do something stupid, like posting an insta story that he shouldn’t post. There can be so many reasons, but…”

“Lya, he is not held hostage. If he wants to call you, he will. Don’t try to find him excuses.”

“I’m not… maybe it’s me, as well. We spent so much time glued together that now that I’m alone I really miss him… It’s stupid. We were like two peas in a pod and now…”

“You always knew that it would be hard when he would go back to the tracks.”

“Yeah, but there is a difference between knowing it and actually living it. I know that it’s hard for him as well. Even if today it doesn’t feel like it…” she mumbled.

“You both have very busy careers and demanding ones. It’s normal that it takes a little time to adjust.”

“That’s what I’m telling myself… I know I’m going to sound sappy but I love him, mom… I’m so pathetic. I missed him so much that I found a bottle of his perfume in a drawer and started to spray it on the sheets…”

“It’s not pathetic darling, even if I have to admit that I never thought I would see the day of you acting this way.”

“You and me both…”

Lyanna spent over an hour on the phone with her mother before hanging up. She was just about to prepare a snack when her phone rang again and she saw the name of her dear boyfriend appear on the screen. She sighed, on the verge of rejecting the call. Who did he think he was, ignoring her and then coming back as if nothing had happened? But her heart was stronger than her reason and she finally picked up the phone.

“So you've finished sobering up?” was the first thing she said.

“Lyanna…”

“No, Charles. I don’t want to hear your excuses. I’m not mad that you went out partying to celebrate your win. I just wish you told me before leaving me hanging… I thought that you would at least text me after the podium…”

“I intended to. But then Pierre came up with Lando and George and next thing I knew I was out clubbing and drinking.”

“So you just totally forgot me.”

“Lya, love, I could never forget you. You know how important you are to me.”

“Don’t try to sweet talk your way out of this, Leclerc.”

There was a little silence.

“Are you really mad at me?” asked Charles while looking at her with puppy eyes through the camera and making Lya rolled her eyes in answer.

“I’m fuming.”

“You’re not really. I bet I’m going to make you smile, in three…two…one… there you go. Beautiful and adorable smile that I love so much.”

“I hate you, sometimes. I really want to be mad at you. You didn’t text me! I didn’t have the chance to celebrate your first win since Monza and right after your crash? Charles, it’s unbelievable.”

“I’m sorry… I know I should have at least told you I would be out. I got to go, love… They are calling us to board. I’ll call you as soon as I land in Saudi Arabia, I promise you.”

“You better. Have a safe flight.”

“Hey, Lya? We’re good, right? You still love me?”

“We’re good. You’re a dickhead but I love you.”

Saudi Arabia saw another podium finish from Charles, this time in third place behind Checo and Max. But it didn't matter, whether he was first or last Lyanna supported him in the same way. Charles smiled when she told him this before gently correcting her, explaining that he wasn't racing to be last and that even if he brought home another trophy, he was still disappointed. Then came Australia, where Charles again crossed the chequered flag in first place, completing the grand slam with pole position, fastest lap and victory. This time he didn't forget to call Lyanna on Facetime and celebrate his victory with her in the comfort of his hotel room. But as they chatted and laughed, he noticed the actress' smile fade and her eyes darken.

“Lya? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… just people being stupid and making a big fuss out of nothing.” She mumbled.

He looked at her silently but intensely until she finally said more.

“For a few days now I've been seeing rumours that we might be split up because I wasn't there during the Grand Prix. People are questioning. And that was fine, but now it's becoming more and more widespread... I tried to ignore them but it’s exhausting.”

“I’m sorry… I don’t know what to say…”

“Do you mind if I post something on Instagram?”

This took Charles by surprise, as he had not expected such a reply from Lyanna, nor such confidence.

“Well... No, I guess? I mean, you do what you want, love, I follow you.”

The conversation did not drag on, Charles feeling that Lyanna's mind was elsewhere. A few hours later, just as he was about to fall asleep, he received an Instagram notification telling him that he had been mentioned in Lyanna's story. He wasted no time in reposting the story, adding three hearts, and fell asleep with a smile on his face and a happy heart.

@lyannamicheloff added to her story

author's note: Well I was not expecting to post it today but it's ready, so I thought why not? And I was kinda excited for you to read it! You dont even imagine how therapeutic it feels to write Charles winning, yes, but also Max losing (no shade towards him, he deserves every bit of success he gets) As usual, let me know your thoughts through the comments or ask box if your too shy. And don't forget to leave a like or reblog the story. It helps. And it lets me know that you like the story.

taglist @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals @aundercover @ruleroftheuniverse @fangirlika @writerscurse @elijahmikaelsonbitch @leclerc13 @karmabyfernando @stargaryenx @pitlanebabe @boiohboii @reengard If you are tagged but did not receive any notifications, please check your settings because it means that Tumblr didn't let me tag you.

#charles leclerc #fiction #writing #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #cl16 #charles leclerc imagines #charles leclerc x female reader #cl16 x reader #charles leclerc blurb #f1 x oc #f1 fic #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 fanfic #charles leclerc fanfic

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jwonsociety · 2 years

Text

lovestruck // chapter 5

pairing ➼ brother's best friend!niki x fem!reader

genre ➼ strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, kind of crack because y/n's internal narration is very silly, sunoo is y/n's older brother

word count ➼ 2.8k

warnings ➼ profanity, lethal amounts of yearning

synopsis ➼ As the younger sister of the smart and popular Kim Sunoo, you’ve gotten used to living life as a background character. You mostly keep to yourself, you don't go to parties, and you most certainly do not have a boyfriend. One day, Sunoo brings home one of his friends and encourages you two to get to know each other… the fact that said friend is extremely cute definitely won’t be an issue, right?

taglist!! ➼ @kaal-ee @naexity @sd211 @yenqa @justbored48 @nomurahayami @seeuuns @666eren @mklhyvn @annoyingbitch83 @f0rlov3rs

a/n ➼ IM ALIVE!!!! im SO SO sorry for how long it took me to finish this chapter 😭 school has been keeping me super busy but this week i had finally had some free time to get this done!! i hope you all enjoy this update 💘💘 next chapter will wrap up the series!

˚₊· ➳❥

“You and Niki have gotten pretty close lately.”

Your head snapped up from your phone. From where you were curled up on the living room couch you could see Sunoo standing in the doorway, resting his weight against the wall.

“What?”

“I’ve seen you guys hang out at school a lot,” he elaborated, “and whenever he comes over you guys always joke around.”

You searched your brother’s face for any kind of emotion. For the most part, his expression maintained flawless neutrality. He smiled his “perfect older brother” smile, which was equal parts comforting as it was terrifying. If there was one thing Sunoo was good at, it was being unreadable.

You hoped your panic wasn’t visible. “Your point is…?”

“I’m just proud of you, y/nnie!” he chirped, clapping his hands together. “I know you struggle to make friends, but look at you -- I know you sat with new people at lunch the other day! You’re a social butterfly.”

Immediately, a wave of relief washed over you. He was just being his merry self, *not* accusing you of having a massive crush on one of his closest friends. Not that he could prove that or anything.

“It’s really not that big of a deal, but thank you,” you chuckled. “Wait -- how’d you know I sat with his friends at lunch last week? You weren’t there.”

Sunoo smiled mischievously. “We talk about you.” Before you could interrogate him further about that, he continued. “By the way, Niki’s coming over later around six-ish. Just so you’re not surprised when he suddenly appears in our home.”

You nodded distractedly, still trying to wrap your head around the fact that Niki is in fact aware of your existence when you’re not standing right in front of him. Sometimes you forget that you’re a real perceivable person and not a figment of everyone else’s imagination.

You glanced at the time on your phone: 12:04pm. You had a few hours to spare before Niki showed up and something embarrassing inevitably happened. It was Saturday morning -- technically early afternoon, but seeing as you had woken up at eleven, it was morning to you. After you had risen from bed and stared at your wall in an exhausted daze for about twenty minutes, you resigned yourself to the living room couch and went on your phone. That’s what you had been doing until Sunoo appeared, made some weird ominous comments, and then drifted away like the ghost of a Victorian child. You sighed.

Niki coming over later made you nervous even though it really shouldn’t. Actually, you weren’t sure if “nervous” was the appropriate word; it was more like “eager anticipation”. Which definitely wasn’t better.

In the past week and a half, you and Niki had spent some wholesome quality time together. You had talked at school and gotten to know each a bit better -- and, unfortunately, the more you got to know him the more you liked him. You almost wish that there was some glaring red flag about him so that you could finally rid yourself of these feelings, but genuinely (and annoyingly) there just weren’t any. Everything about him was just so fucking endearing.

He had a cute little dog named Bisco who he had insisted on showing you photos of and he liked to play soccer when he wasn’t dancing. He loved spring and horror movies and he hits a punching bag when he wins in Fifa which really *should* give you lethal amounts of the ick but it *didn’t*, and you were horrified by yourself.

Of course, he had come over to hang out with Sunoo quite a few more times. Sometimes he would tell Sunoo that he had to use the bathroom just so he could stand in the doorway of your room and talk to you. He had made fun of how messy you were, which you hadn’t appreciated; nevertheless, a smile would be plastered on your face long after he left.

Considering all that, you could confidently say that you and Niki were good friends. That was the extent of it. That *had* to be the extent of it. You knew that. If you and Niki ever started dating -- not that you considered that a real possibility -- Sunoo would murder you. You had never dared to start sniffing around your brother’s friends (no matter how cute they were) and you weren’t about to start now. You didn’t want to put your relationship with Sunoo or Niki in jeopardy. With time and patience, this tiny minuscule insignificant little crush would fade away. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

With a hefty sigh, you flopped face-first onto the couch and buried your head into a pillow. It was going to be a long day.

➽──────────────❥

The knock came while you were in the kitchen.

“I’ll get it!” you heard Sunoo holler from atop the stairs. The sound of his feet descending the steps echoed through the halls and in a brief moment, he appeared before you.

“Is it Niki?” you asked, hoping your brother wouldn’t notice the excitement twinging your voice.

“No, it’s Beyonce.” Sunoo rolled his eyes, a mannerism that seemed reserved only for you. “Of course it’s Niki.”

He left to answer the door before he could see the scathing middle finger you were giving him. Sunoo was a great sibling, but that certainly didn’t exempt you from the quintessential familial bickering.

You scoffed and took out another pretzel from the large bag you had been snacking on. Sure enough, Niki walked into the kitchen a few moments later, a babbling Sunoo attached to his hip.

“I swear, if he disrespects me in front of the team *one* more time I am going to throttle that son of a--”

“Dude, he’s like seven feet tall. I really doubt that you could… ‘throttle’ him, whatever the fuck that means,” Niki snorted. He looked over at you, just as he had done so many times before, but it still made your stupid heart skip a beat. “Hey, y/n.”

“Hey,” you replied. “Are you guys talking about that one annoying guy on the dance team again?”

“Oh my God, *yes*,” Sunoo groaned as if he were teetering on the precipice of a murder charge -- which, in all honesty, he probably was. “You wouldn’t believe what he did today, y/n. He messed up a move during practice so I *politely* corrected him, and he told me to mind my own business!”

“Despicable,” you gasped sarcastically, grabbing another pretzel. Niki snickered.

Sunoo wagged his finger disapprovingly. “You weren’t there. You didn’t hear the sass in his voice.”

“What’s wrong with being a little sassy?” Niki wondered aloud, walking over to you and reaching into the pretzel bag to get one for himself. You scolded yourself for the way your cheeks flushed at his presence.

“I’m not really following this conversation,” you interjected. You reached into the pretzel bag unconsciously, only to be met with the feeling of something else. Looking down, you realized that Niki had reached for one at the same time, your hand gently brushing his. You hastily pulled your hand out.

“Oh, sorry!” you blurted, looking at him up him. He smiled and laughed.

“It’s fine, y/n,” he assured. He reached into the bag and grabbed one, extending it to you. “Here.”

You blinked at the pretzel for an embarrassing amount of seconds before accepting. You bit into it, trying to ignore the way Niki’s gaze remained on you, chewing his lip. It was a habit of his you had noticed. Jeez, why had you noticed that?

“Me and Niki are going to head upstairs to my room,” Sunoo informed. You jumped in your seat, startled by his voice. Niki had the strange ability to make you feel like no one else was around when he spoke.

“Will you guys be loud? I was going to study in my room.”

“Don’t worry, we’ll be quiet,” Niki said, smirking. “Wouldn’t want to interrupt your studying, now would we?”

You stuck your tongue out at him. “If I fail my calculus quiz next week I’m telling Mrs. Hwang it was your fault.”

“That woman can come at me!”

You chuckled, throwing a pretzel at him, which Niki swiftly dodged.

“Hey, clean that up before Mom comes home!” Sunoo chided, tugging Niki along by the hem of his sleeve. “We’ll be quiet, y/nnie!”

With a fond wave, your brother bid you goodbye and ascended the stairs. Niki followed closely behind him, but not without casting you one last glance before he was out of view.

Niki was a puzzle. Not a regular puzzle -- he was one of those 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles. Just when you thought you had it all figured out, you went to put in the last piece and it somehow didn’t fit. Niki was fun and you liked being around him (maybe a bit too much), but something about him always kept you on your toes.

There was no denying the fact that every time you and the boy had a conversation, something unspoken lingered in the air. It was tense and complicated, and both of you were aware of it but intentionally chose to ignore it. You wondered how much longer you could pretend.

Popping one last pretzel in your mouth, you hopped off your seat at the kitchen counter and opened one of the cabinets. On your tiptoes, you returned the snack to its original home, and headed to your room.

➽──────────────❥

The derivative of cosine was negative, the derivative of sine was positive… or, wait, was it the other way around?

You physically resisted the urge to slam your face into your textbook. How did your teacher sincerely expect you to remember this all? Writing all of the sprawling formulas and equations felt like notarizing your last will and testament. You tried to imagine what had been written on the board in class like Cady does at the end of *Mean Girls* but to no avail. Apparently, spur-of-the-moment photographic memory only happened in movies.

You rolled over onto your back and stared at the nothingness of your ceiling. Closing your eyes, you listened to the noises of the world around you in an attempt to gather yourself. Cars rumbled as they passed by on the street outside. Crickets chirped their usual rhythm, accompanied by the sounds of owls and other nocturnal creatures venturing out of their homes for the night. You could almost hear the sound of your brain thinking.

This isn’t exactly how you had imagined your weekend going. No offense to the STEM scholars of the world, but math was not your definition of fun. Then again, you weren’t exactly known for attending ragers, so you weren’t sure what else you would be doing. You just wanted anything but the monotonous lull of linear approximations.

“Are you meditating or something?”

You flinched so hard you nearly pulled a muscle. Sitting up frantically, you looked to see your visitor.

Niki. Who else?

“I couldn’t help but notice you lying face-up on your bed like you were dead and I just wanted to make sure you weren’t in need of medical attention,” the boy snickered. He stood in your doorway, arms crossed and an amused smirk donning his face, no doubt finding entertainment in your disheveled state. “Your door was open, so…”

You had forgotten about that. You felt a painful twinge of embarrassment hit your stomach when you imagined the sight of you lying immobile as you worked through a calculus-induced existential crisis.

“Aren’t you supposed to be hanging out with my brother?” you asked, combing your hand through your hair. You hope you didn’t look a mess. Wait, why did you care? It was just Niki.

He turned towards your desk and examined your belongings. “Honestly, this seems much more interesting.”

You sprang up from your bed. “Don’t touch my stuff!”

“Sorry, what was that?” the boy teased, cocking his head in faux confusion as he picked up a picture enclosed in a baby pink frame. Upon looking at it, he gasped. “Oh my God.”

“*Niki!*” you squeaked. You knew exactly what photo he was looking at -- Halloween, years ago. Your parents had dressed Sunoo up as the tooth fairy (his request), glittering wings and all. He sat on the front porch steps of your house and directly to his left sat your toddler self, donning a ridiculous tooth costume.

“That is my personal property!” You lunged for the picture, but Niki extended his arms so that it was out of your reach. Curse him and his stupid height.

He laughed, loud and unabashed. “This is the best thing I’ve ever seen in my life. I think I might take this home with me.”

“I will kill you.”

“Aw, come on, I’m not making fun,” he said, tone turning soft. He brought the frame down again and looked at the photo with an expression you couldn’t quite place. “It’s very wholesome.”

“...Right,” you mumbled, grabbing the photo from his grasp and finally placing it back on your desk. “You know, that costume was against my will. I had no say in the matter.”

He snorted. “Don’t worry, I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing costumes. When I was little my sisters and I went as Scooby, Velma, and Daphne. My mom forces me to look at the photos of it every Halloween.”

“And you were Scooby, I’m assuming?”

Niki paused for a moment, eyes avoiding yours. “...I was Daphne.”

Your eyes went wide before bursting out in laughter, hunching over and gasping for breath. “*Oh my God.* That is the funniest mental image I’ve ever had.”

“I thought she was cool, okay?” he insisted, a sheepish smile on his face. “Don’t judge me because I looked up to an independent mystery-solving woman.”

You stood upright once more, wiping your watering eyes. “Okay, okay, we’re even.”

Niki smiled. “You were a very cute baby.”

“Thank you,” you giggled.

“You haven’t changed at all.”

“You mean, I still look like a baby?”

“No. I mean you’re still very cute.”

You blinked. “I…” you began, but you were unsure what to say.

He stepped closer so that you two were merely inches apart. His gaze was delicate as he looked down at you, but the signature intensity remained -- as if he was peering right into your soul. The mood of the conversation had suddenly shifted, and it was making you nervous. Niki drew in a deep breath.

“Y/n, how much longer are we going to keep doing this?”

At that moment, you swore you felt your heart come to a complete stop. Your eyes, which had been nervously cast to the ground, suddenly darted back up to meet his.

“What are you talking about?” You knew exactly what he was talking about.

He was looking at you with such focus that you felt like you might collapse. “Y/n, isn’t obvious that I like you? Haven’t I been making it obvious this whole time?”

You felt your heart pounding in your throat. Niki was *so* close. You searched for a response, attempting to formulate the right words, but came up empty-handed. “Niki…”

“I can’t keep ignoring what’s obvious between us,” Niki whispered. “I can’t. I know you like me too, y/n.”

All at once, the giant wall you had so carefully built in order to keep your feelings at bay came crumbling down. “Of course I do, Niki,” you breathed, voice so small it was almost inaudible. “But we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“You know why, Niki,” you muttered, eyes pleading with his. “Sunoo would kill me.”

Seeing Niki like this felt so wrong. He looked fragile. Breakable. This whole time, he had seemed like an enigma to you. The image of him you had created in your mind was indestructible and unobtainable. But now, it felt like you were seeing him for the first time. Really seeing.

“Y/n, you know that’s not fair,” he insisted. His gaze burned into you, communicating so much more than his words. “Sunoo doesn’t control you. We can make our own choices.”

You sighed and looked away, unable to maintain eye contact any longer. “Niki, of course I want to be with you. I’ve liked you since the moment we met.”

Niki paused for a few moments. The silence felt torturous. You couldn’t tell if you wanted to run for your life or be pulled into his arms.

“Really? Is that true y/n?”

You remained silent.

“Y/n, look at me, please.”

You felt a gentle hand on your chin, delicately guiding your head to turn you back towards him. The sight that met you was breathtaking; Niki, his eyes filled with a warmth that made you feel impossibly safe.

“I’ve liked you since the day we met too.”

His lips parted slightly and you felt the rotation of the Earth suddenly come grinding to a halt. He was so beautiful. So infuriatingly beautiful. His eyes were wary, intensely searching you for a sign that he shouldn’t do this. You didn’t give him one.

Leaning forward, you met him in the middle.

#nishimura niki #enhypen #niki x reader #niki x y/n #enhypen x reader #enhypen x y/n #enhypen fic #nishimura riki #niki #brother's best friend #fluff #crack

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fullofgutsndopamine · 1 month

Text

Like You Imagined (When You Were Young)

or: austin sets you up on a date

more here

“look,” austin rolls his eyes, “when have i ever steered you wrong?”

you snort, slamming a cabinet shut probably harder than it needs to be: “There was Anthony,” you tick off on your fingers, “And Samuel. And Cliff, the guy who cried-“

Austin huffs, holds in hands up in the air as if waving a red flag

“But there was also Sam-“

“Sam had a girlfriend. I was the side piece.”

it rolls off to you now with a smirk, how these use to be such terrible memories you spent literal months tossing and turning over in bed and crying over are now little tidbits you can drop when you want to remind Austin he is not the perfect matchmaker he wants to be so desperately.

“Okay,” he sighs, “So a few bad dates-“

“seven-“

“we don’t have to put a number on it,” he waves his hand, “but this time i got it right, i just know it.”

“Austin-“

“come on!” he all but groans, “I promise, if this is a bad one, i’ll never try and hook you up again.”

finally, you stop stirring the pot on the stove long enough to eye him: “ever again? and i get to hook you up with a blind date.”

He groans, “Be serious-“

“No deal.”

you smirk and look back at the stove, knowing he’ll give in. you two have been friends for years, and you pouting and complaining about the horrible dates is enough for him to crack.

“actually, i’m confident enough i’ll take the deal, satan.”

and now he’s smiling as he makes his way to you, ignoring the hot stove and the work you’re doing and before you can regret it, your shaking hands with him.

days pass a quickly and before you know it, you’re in your shitty car driving downtown.

austin gives you nothing to go off of.

not a name, or a job, or even a fucking description-instead, just directions.

“He’s proud of this date, i don’t fuckin’ know,” Austin is bitching as you drive downtown, “Said to meet you at Pages. It’s downtown, on Clarke Street. He’ll be the tall fuck by the new releases.”

a huff, “‘A tall fuck’ isn’t a lot to go off of.”

a pause. it’s long enough it makes you worry your lip, the dry skin bothering you.

“Hasan.” he finally allows, “His name is Hasan. And that’s all you’re getting out of me.”

“Yeah uh,” he clears his throat, “it sounds fuckin’ nerdy but comic books are some of my favorites.”

The bookstore is near empty as you walk in, save for one guy by the new releases, is running his fingers over the spines of the books only to shove them back into the shelf deeper.

“Hasan?”

you’re suddenly aware of yourself, of your voice-

but instead he turns around with a smirk, using his knuckle to push his glasses up his face-

“well,” he smiles widely, “it’s nice to finally meet you.”

and he’s bringing you in for a hug as if you two are two long lost friends, like you’ve known him forever. it’s comforting and borders on endearing.

“Well,” you say, “you first. let’s get the mood right for the evening. I don’t like to go first. show me your favorite.”

and he’s smiling,his eyes flick over you once before they stop and a smirk creeps onto his face when he sees the necklace around your neck.

“my pleasure, little flower. follow me.”

A blush works it’s way up your face but you bite your lip to hide the smile as your fingers collide with the cool metal of the necklace as you follow him deeper into the store.

he walks backwards as he talks.

“Are comics a red flag?”

his fingers point up to the ceiling where a sign hangs loudly proclaiming this the comic section.

a pause as if he’s waiting for you to laugh in his face or say you have a sudden emergency, like reading comics would be the biggest red flag he can think of.

“Uh-“ he shakes his head, a smile blooms on the corner of his lips and he turns his head to hide it, “Spent summers in America and well-this is where you’d find me.”

As if proving it his long fingers slowly creep over the paper spines before coming to a stop, slowly pulling out a paperback comic and holding it for you:

“This alone got me through some lonely summers.”

he smiles as he thumbs through it, as if he memorized his favorite part as he drops his shoulder so he isn’t looming over you and let’s you see the page in question.

his smile makes you smile. clearly, someone enjoying this so much, the simple things and how fond he is of it-how could you not.

he shakes his head, shaking away any fond memories and shelves the book back.

“Alright, let’s see your favorite.” He smiles, “Nothing pretentious, i hope or it might be a red flag.”

you bring him to your favorite section, the romance area where the books are models looking disheveled or a damsel in distress, worn brightly colored books-you try to focus on the alphabet, where the novel would be to desperately try and ignore how close he walks to you, how his hand hits yours gently as if he’s looking for an in, an invitation to tangle his hands in yours.

And he lets you talk about it. where normally they’d cut you off, rolling their eyes as you info dump on your favorite novel, how it still makes you weep but holds the title as your favorite-instead he’s smiling, his eyes on yours-only stopping every once in awhile to flick down to your lips, watching the way they curve and move as you talk-

hours pass as you both go around the bookstore-when the closing announcement finally comes, he holds the door open for you as you leave.

outside the moon is high in the sky, the air thick with the summer heat that still makes your sundress stick to your back, even when it’s 9 at night and the sun is gone.

you try to ignore it, aware of hasan, and yourself and how he insists he walks you to your car (“What and not be a fucking gentlemen? Austin would never let me hear the end of it.” and he says it with a wink and a smirk.)

his hand is on your door as you finally think fuck it as he’s still talking about his favorite novel-now or never-you think, pulling yourself onto your tip toes and letting your lips crash into his. he hesitates for a second, before his ringed hand cups the side of your face, the smile on his lips as you’re kissing as if he’s relieved, like he was thinking the same thing.

He holds the door for you to your car as you get in red faced-he resists the urge to pump his fist in the air, or holler thrilled he finally had a good date-

it isn’t until hasan is back in his car his lips still buzzing from you, tingling as he runs his thumb over his own lips as if to remember you that he finally realizes he didn’t get your number.

#caroline writes #hasanabi #hasanabi x reader #hasanabi x y/n #hasanabi x you #hasan #hasan piker x you #hasan piker fanfic #hasan x reader #hasan piker fanfiction #hasan piker fic #hasan piker imagine #hasan piker x reader #hasan piker

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dreamtydraw · 1 year

Note

Back to ask for a character ramble! Character of your choice~! (And feel free to let this message sit until you feel like it :) )

-💚

OK HI HELLO YOU ARE AWESOME !! I’m taking this card to talk about my oc for the game Touchestarved, Eleanore

First off I gonna start by saying that a lot of things about her as a character in terms of story or design will depend on the canon of the story. I am taking a lot of liberty and her character will for sure be changed once the game is fully out and we get to learn more about the world-building and the backstories.

Starting with her symbolism: Eleanore is a metaphor for reincarnation and rebirth. One of her associations with reincarnation is her design linked to spring.

Her name Eleanore originates from Ray of light / shining light but her surname Eostre is a direct reference to the deity of reincarnation but also the deity of spring and light.

Her original design was inspired by paintings of medieval maidens mainly those:

You can sort of see it in her hairstyle when I take the time to draw her well.

Eleanore being associated with spring can also be noticed in the color palette of her design: Green and orange. Green is both a color associated with life and death nevertheless it’s a spring color, the color of a new nature, of grass and trees. However, green is also associated with the concept of jealousy, toxicity, and envy.

Orange is a warm color associated with energy and positivity, it’s also a color you’ll see associated with fruits or flowers. However orange is also a warning color, it grab your attention and can lead you to signs to be alert, it’s a warning. A red flag is here to stop you, an orange flag will warn you of a danger approaching.

She is also inspired by a parasite, the Cuscuta, an orange parasite flower that grow over other plants and drain them. This parasite is referenced with the shape of her marks taking over her body but also the dual color green and orange of the parasite on the host. This is the same reference as another parasite the Aphidoidea.

I think you can already start seing it from here, but her design is based on a lot of contradiction : in danger but safe / toxique nature.

Her backstory :

This part can be skipped but is really important to understand her as a character and some of her design choices

This part contain trigger such as child abuse, unhealthy coping mechanisms, ptsd

Eleanore never got to see what genuine affection is. As far as she can remember her life started when she was already a child, living with her teacher. She knew she was to be studied and so she was, her teacher knew what was best.

She wanted to impress her, make her proud by reading all the books she had in the basement, by being grateful for every minute she was allowed in the garden, not crying when she was stabbed with needles, not being too noisy, not complaining, not refusing. All was for the best, even if she cried and begged to be let out, it was childish tantrums, the days she spent in the cage were simply deserved for all the mess she could cause. Her body was for science, her mind was for knowledge and her feelings were worthless.

Her teacher could be as cruel as she was kind, warmly smiling, dressing her up, taking good care of her. She was so good she even found a way to lift the curse of the young child, or so she was told. It was partially lifted, she was still ill, she still needed to be fixed.

“Tomorrow you’ll be free” “Soon i’ll let you out”, she counted the days with excitement. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months and months faded into years, so many years that her hope died with what used to be her childhood.

She had let it happen for so long, passive to her feelings, to the pain in her wrists and the rotting of her body. Her beautiful green hair slowly growing with a golden light of orange, everything was changing and looking at what she left herself became hurted. All the magic she had supported changed her, influenced her curse and slowly grew alongside her body.

Marks started to appear on her body and her eyes hurt for so long she thought she was turning blind until it all calmed and she could observe a reflective glow of orange settling on her pupil.

All of this changement scared her, but it couldn’t compare to the fright she felt toward her pleased teacher. When she begged for reassurance all she got was lies she heard thousands of times before. Eleanore realized that she would die in that basement. If she stayed here her curse would never be lifted, worse it would be increased. So for the first time she listened to herself and tried to save her life, Eleanore escaped.

Outside she was like a newborn taking her first steps, failing to grasp the reality she was in, incapable of doing anything by herself. She met people there and there, some kinder than others, toying with the naive girl.

One night she was asked to spend her night with a nice man charmed by her looks. She felt special, never in her life did she experience so much pleasure, so much love and adoration. It was all new and to her standart it was all she could ever ask, be special to someone. She tried to run after the feeling, obsessing with how she could silence the void of her worries when someone was next to her. Why look after yourself when someone else can do much more, when they can make you forget and give you the pleasing affection you cried so much for. Sadly her intensity was not met, it was scary, unhinged, it made love slip like sand between her fingers. She tried, she desperately tried, she felt like death was less painful than being abandoned again. So she continued, running after people to earn crumbs of affection, kneeling, begging for even an instance of love, she took everything she was given, she didn’t deserve it after all.

Love was painful and she would stab herself if it meant she could be loved.

Still with me ? Yay good !

Deep dive into her design then !

As stated before her marks are inspired by the thing orange plant parasite that is the Cusuta but some of the shapes are insect-inspired. The lower back shape is inspired by stag beetle horns, where the shape on her shoulder is a visual reference to a beetle opening its wings.

Her eyes are of two separate colors to show she has tapetum lucidum, the layer of the eye that some animal specie which helps them see in the dark but also have a phosphorescent effect that makes the eyes shine in the dark when facing light.

About her hair :

Eleanore’s natural color is green, she realized very late that her green hair will never grow back and this terrifies her. She is scared of letting it go and dosen’t cut her hair anymore wich resulted to the absurd length of her hair. Cutting it would mean letting the past go and she’s too afraid to do it, so she avoid it by improvising. She has a layer of braid under behind her neck to make the volume of hair lighter and more manageable. The green hair that never turned orange are worn in a half crown braid with multiple knots inspired by European medieval folklore hairstyles.

About her clothes :

The belt is here to make the silhouette of her top looks like the torso of a beetle with a clear separation of the two side, the up and the down. It has a butterfly design at it’s center and beetle design on the top. She wears a blouse inspired by old medical blouse that covered from the tip of the arms to the up of the neck. Her little cape is shaped as to fall like two butterfly wings. She has a perfectly symmetrical design again referencing a beetle top. She wears earthy tones and as much closes possible to hide her marks and limit contact due to her curse.

In conclusion :

Eleanore’s design is entierly based on being a symbole of reincarnation while also being stuck. Just like a butterfly she went trough a long process of physical change that hurted ( caterpillars body melt inside the cocon so they can reconstruct their body as butterfly ), sadly she’s still in her shell.

Incapable of moving on, on accepting the process of moving forward and starting new, she dosen’t let go of the past and still hold into it without confronting it ( keeping her green hair, chasing people’s affection, fall in abusive relationships ).

She has the potential of being the stray of light that will open the new season of spring, but her light is kept hiden under all the suffering she refuse to admit, creating a word of désillusion where she believes her way of acting is normal.

FeW that was long-

Thanks you for taking the time to read all of character explanation about Eleanore. I tried my best to explain the complexity i aimed when working on her, she was based of the concept of life draining parasite and this is how the idea got developed. I am very exited for the game to come out so i can apply all of this into the word building and or adapt my lore, and until then i will play with my little blorbo.

Lot of love ! Hope you’ll have a good day ✨

#my oc #oc analysis #dreamty’s ramble #Character design #Touch starved #touch starved mc #red spring studios #my art #green anon #Anon ask

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faerywhimsy · 1 year

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Something new came to my attention and, in typical me fashion, I’ve gone and spent the last half week hyper fixated on it until I figured out my own thoughts. But my own thoughts have only led me towards… something strongly resembling a Shrodinger's box.

This isn’t the first time I’ve posted here about gender or queer thoughts, so I guess it’s not an altogether strange place for me to post such musings.

I’m aware, of course, that trans and nonbinary come over the same umbrella. What’s news to me is the idea that trans and nonbinary are… *checks notes*… the same thing now? And I’ve seen anyone trying to argue being compared to that old wisdom of bisexuality not being real.

Just typing that makes me already feel like I’ve gotten the wrong impression. Because surely, if one person’s allowed to say that for them nonbinary and trans is the same experience, it’s fair for another to say for themselves that nonbinary and trans is not the same experience.

I mean, that’s basically the queer agenda, right? Equality?

I’m sitting here with a vivid memory of myself at 21 in New Zealand. It was the first and only time I seriously considered transitioning. I didn’t know any trans people. I’m not even really sure anymore where I got the idea. I didn’t have terms like AMAB or AFAB. I just knew that I was a boy right then walking around in the wrong body.

I didn’t transition. The reason I gave myself was I already had multiple friends who had survived various abuses at the hands of men. I couldn’t face going from being a close confidant to a possible reminder of their trauma. It’s not an uncommon story now. So many of us have heard stories from trans men who used to walk around at night and feel one way in their past life, but have since had the experience of women crossing the road away from them.

On further reflection over the years, I’ve come to understand that this reason possibly covered a deeper one that I had no words to understand half a life ago: There was no gender I could surgically and medically transition to or from that would forever solve my feelings of dysphoria.

From my lived experience, then, trans and nonbinary have shown themselves as two different things. If that’s not allowed by the current wisdom, I reckon I’m gonna stop being lazily going by the shorthand of nonbinary—which by now everyone knows—and make the effort of actually describing multigender whenever it comes up.

Which sounds exhausting. And, honestly, unnecessary.

I’m also gonna feel invalidated by parts of a community I love, a community that’s meant to be about encouraging everyone to be out and proud of whoever and however they label themselves, no matter where they stand under the rainbow flag.

And so, Shrodinger’s box. By which I mean: it’s a matter of perception, yeah? So long as we each make the effort not to invalidate another while we’re looking at it?

Please correct me if I’m wrong with anything in this post. I’m an older queer and I don’t pretend to be wholly up to date with everything. And I honest to god love learning new things. They give me something to obsess over when I should be sleeping 😉

#queer #multigender

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preciouslandmermaid · 9 months

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so as u guys know i went through a breakup in june. which was a good thing. i wasn’t invested in the relationship, i was unhappy, the honeymoon had faded, there were flags that i simply couldn’t ignore (both in him and myself!) and i knew i needed to return to my happiest state - being single and annoying online.

today, on the first day back of work, this motherfucker asks to talk to me afterwards and im like “yeah sure.” thinking that like we’re just gonna chat real quick in the parking lot. no. hes like “where can we meet.” and im like “idk starbucks i guess.”

i’ve been keeping my distance from him because that’s what was best for ME. we literally haven’t spoken in 2 weeks. so i gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought he was just trying to catch up, be friendly. i rationalized that since we were only together about 5 months, then it wouldn’t be completely weird to start being friends now that 2 months have passed since the separation.

besties....he wanted to know if we could get back together. 😠 i was like ?????????? and he was like “well, we spent the summers working on ourselves” (bro ur still not in therapy so i disagree), and then he was like “i feel like we broke up because i was having such a hard time at work and was going through a hard time and it reflected on our relationship.” and i was like uhhh. and so i said a metaphor i was like “us getting back together would be like trying to complete a puzzle when you’ve lost pieces in the vacuum.” and he goes “OH WELL, relationships have their ups and downs! we could still find those pieces.”

i legit wish someone was recording my face. i was in shock. like when we broke up, i did tell him i hoped we could be friends, i told him i hoped we could be in each other’s lives and that maybe (and it’s a big maybe) we could reconnect in the far future. (but, i remember when i said this, i was only saying it to be nice. which was a mistake since it led me to this whole conversation).

ANYWAYS. to make a long story short. i told him No. and he was like “why i dont understand. you said you loved me. how could you love me and then not love me anymore. this is really hurting my self-worth. i dont understand. what changed??”

and i just...didn’t engage really. i wasn’t gonna list all the reasons. i already did that when we broke up and he demanded answers. i told him that i didn’t feel the connection anymore. and i already know im hurting his feelings AGAIN. eventually i just said “i’m happier single.” and he was like “oh? so i won’t see you dating someone in six months?” and i was like “probably not?? but idk?” he also brought up an old interaciton we had waaay back in march and tried to gaslight me by saying i got defensive during it, but i literally wrote that interaction down beat by beat so i remember how it went because it made me feel so uncomfortable and was my first serious red flag. >:( you cannot trick me!

we managed to end the conversation and i stayed firm within my boundaries even tho he looked sad/was tearing up and kept asking me for reasons (idk why being unhappy in the relationship isn’t a reason enough for him??) a few hours after i got home, he texted me and was like “Was everything you said earlier true? No lying to save my feelings?” and i texted him back and was like “Yeah, it was all true.” idk how i could’ve been any clearer. i think he just dislikes hearing things he doesn’t want to hear. (omg also he brought up bell hooks--someone i introduced him to!--and was like “are you just chasing the next high?” and i was like “??? idk ??” )

my friends keep telling me he was emotionally manipulative, but it’s hard for me to see it. maybe in time i will be able to. but again--im just proud of myself for not “cowering” and changing my mind because i’ve got a person in front of me who i do care about --and who is sad--who i could make happy by doing what he wants.

but that is no life worth living. i live for myself. for my own happiness. and i was not happy in the relationship. you don’t need any other reason to leave-- if you’re unhappy, you can just go. it’s fine. i think that’ll be the big lesson i takeaway from this whole debacle.

#blue rambles #im TLDRing a lot of this interaciton #but im so proud of myself jsldfkjsdl

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redheadgleek · 5 months

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2023 in review

Milestones: 10 years since I completed fellowship and became an attending; 10 years since I moved to Oregon.

Places visited: Hawaii in February with my parents and sister; Yellowstone and Grand Tetons in July with my whole family, with a few days down in Utah; Iceland in September with J; Arizona a couple of times to see my niblings; Seattle for a few weekends.

Games played: Settlers of Catan, Dutch Blitz, Cover Your Assets, Codenames, Exploding Kittens, Zombie Kittens, Happy Salmon, Trails, and Dragonwood. Abandon All Artichokes was also very shortly abandoned and Tacocat was not as entertaining as hoped.

Puzzles completed: 2 (one Karin mostly did, and I just threw down a few pieces).

Movies watched: Wakanda Forever; Return of the King (in the theater in April); Ant Man and the Wasp: Quantumania (terrible movie); Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (excellent movie); Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget (stop making want to give up chicken!); Red, White, and Royal Blue.

TV shows watched: Battlestar Galactica (all but the last season because I don’t want it to end), Shadow and Bone season 2 (I am so mad that it was canceled), Doctor Who specials, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Great British Bake-Off, Heartstopper season 2 (and let’s be real, lots of season 1 again as well), Lockwood & Co (I think I still have the last episode to watch), Tom Jones (PBS), Good Omens season 2, Schmicago (so so good).

TV shows watched with @lucy8675309: The Mandalorian; Ted Lasso season 3; Star Trek: Picard; Star Trek: Strange New Worlds; Loki season 2; Fringe (we’re on season 4 and I love it so much). We started to watch the second season of Our Flag Means Death, but it was taking us away from Fringe, so it’s on the back burner.

Books read: 128 (!!!). Here’s a link to my storygraph account. I’ll do a separate sum up.

Audiobooks listened to: 13.5. My hope had been to do one per month, and Jonathan Strange took at least 3 months to finish, so I’m surprised I made it, but I did have a long road trip to Yellowstone, where I listened to 3 different books on the way there and back. (Carry On is the 0.5 – I listened to 2/3rd of it on the plane ride down and wanted to finish it by Christmas so switched over to the ebook).

Musicals/Plays watched: Moulin Rouge: the Musical (the movie is so much better); Ain’t Too Proud; My Fair Lady; Choir Boy; Hairspray; A Midsummer’s Night Dream; Six; Tina: The Tina Turner Musical; Les Miserables; Waitress (in the movie theater).

Concerts attended: Theo Katzman in April; Vienna Teng at The Triple Door in Seattle in August.

Music listened to: The Riversitter by Vienna Teng, Prayer for the Broken by Naya Rivera, multiple hours of classical music while visiting my parents.

Medical conferences attended: 2, one virtually, one in Phoenix, in August in 115 heat.

Medical conferences where I gave a presentation: 1 on a specific consideration on organ donation (the reason why I was in Phoenix in August).

Number of lectures given: 5 including to the NW Internal Medicine Society.

Nights spent in the hospital because my driveway too icy/snowy to get home: only 3!

Knitted projects: Wisteria scarf (a Christmas present that I finished in January); Anne, Diana, and Gilbert dolls were finished in the spring (only took me 2 years); Orchid and Gold Poppins scarf, Grandpa sweater (my first real sweater!), 3 scarves for Christmas (which are in various stages of finished and need to be mailed).

Number of skeins of yarn bought: … Just enough for a few more dolls and a sweater or two, and some Icelandic yarn and some yarn for my mom…

Notable fails: the annular solar eclipse (too cloudy), parenting succulent plants (3 needed the Plant Hospital, 1 is still in the Plant ICU), summer flirtations.

House repairs: every board on my 32×24 foot deck was replaced. I still have the two lower decks and the back stairs to tackle.

Visits to the beach: only once in June. Must be rectified in the new year.

#2023 #end of the year

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skepticalarrie · 2 years

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Allie whenever you're free can you tell us about your experience... How you felt... I have never been to a concert so I love reading how it feels to be there!!

Hi!! 🥹🥹 Oh my god… about Louis, there’s not much left to be said, I feel like I would be repeating what everyone says all the time. He’s absolutely amazing on stage, he glows, he’s beautiful, his voice is angelical, his band is amazing!!! I’m so so so so proud of him, it’s incredible to actually be part of something like that. I feel like my heart could burst at any moment, he deserves everything!

About the experience and the fandom as a whole, I think I have more to say about that, all my previous experiences were very different from this one. I attended to one previous 1D show in Brazil and the others in the UK, and I was never this emerged IRL in the brazilian fandom for such a long time before - I spent around 16 hours waiting in line. So:

- Everyone loves Louis so fucking much, it’s insane to feel this kind of energy irradiating from people. So many people that were passing by and saw fans waiting in line said they would check who this Louis guy was because the fans seemed so passionate about it

- Safe space for everyone 🏳️‍🌈❤️

- Not that easy to spot larries at all. I bet a massive part were larries (not sure if it was the majority though), but I only saw 2 or 3 people wearing more obvious blue and green accessories and that was it. And then when I was inside I noticed a lot of people had Harry or larry on their lock screens and many were raising the flags on lines that are very often associated to that on this side of fandom. But people were very lowkey about it

- Me and @lets-laughagain were absolutely surrounded by antis and “neutrals”, unfortunately LOL Larry and babygate subjects came up and we had to sit there and listen to them talk and ask about Freddie and completely play dumb. I just wanted to dig a hole and stay there forever. It was an experience 🫠🫠🫠

- Young people. I was the older (I’m 30) everywhere I went, except for the parents accompanying their kids.. which was also A LOT people doing that (parents were having the best time and completely passionate about Louis as well ❤️❤️) Average age was between 15-22 I’d guess. At the barricade where I was at I kind of asked around and people were around 15-16, so I was at least twice their age. They called Louis “old” multiple times and I kind of snapped saying I was 30 too and that’s why I was ~playfully~ asking their ages. Also I noticed most people call him “gay” all the time in a very weird way? It’s weird as fuck, man. And everything about the younger people bothered the shit out of me. I knew brazilian fandom was predominantly very young (and that’s why I rarely engage with it), the show I went in 2014 was basically the same but I mean.. that was 8 years ago?! So I was expecting that people were growing up with it lol and not stuck in time with One Direction.

- Speaking of 1D, many people are clearly stuck at that. Which is both a good thing and bad thing, I guess. And that would explain about the age range on the previous topic. But it’s weird because - and that’s just an example - they were really bothered at Louis’ pre-show playlist and asking for people in the venue to change to 1D songs and stuff like that. It’s upsetting because those are the songs Louis likes and that’s where he’s going with his own sound and career and people don’t really seem to understand that.

- No one knew the set list and the lyrics for 7 and Beautiful War LOL I was clearly one of the only person screaming in both songs at the top of my lungs.

- By far the most “aggressive” show I have ever been to.

#HUGE contrast with shows in the uk #people are so warm and passionate in latam ❤️❤️❤️#it’s interesting to analyze the fandom from that perspective #it was a very joyful experience overall though!!!#i mean…. louis is amazing #long post #fan report #ltwt são paulo 1 #mine

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pigeonwit · 5 months

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for the fic title:

“stitching loose threads in my soul (in the morning, i’m bulletproof)”

i love noah kahan and long fic titles so here ya go <33 have fun !!

- @we-are-inevitable ✨

... okay look i know the majority of people are here for newsies and i do love newsies very much but oh my god this is so david frances coded. it really is. i can't help it i'm sorry-

in my head i'm thinking of this like a 5+1 - 5 times david had to force himself to be brave + 1 time he didn't need to be. the first time is right before 'confederate fag', when david arrives late and needs to hype himself up before going back to school after his suicide attempt. he's been outside school for way too long, he tries texting brody to no response, and he looks up to see that fucking flag waving above him like it's mocking him - so he tears it right down and spray-paints it, because it's his now, and his life is his now and everyone who has a problem with it can get fucked.

the second time takes place with the group at the creek before billie and brody find them all; peaches and david are talking about the plan to move to LA while mouse makes daisy crowns. david obviously wants to get the fuck out of winchester creek, but his whole life has been stuck in this fucking town for years, and i do think there'd be a piece of him beneath the idealism that's scared the whole world is just one big winchester creek with no place for him in it. but then billie and brody show up, tell him about their plan on how to keep brody from getting outed, and wow, it turns out the jock who spent his whole life in the closet and the cheerleader who's never taken a stand in her life are braver than he is. billie shows him how to shoot the gun - he's scared, of course he is, because he knows how dangerous this thing is, but he can't help but be enamoured by it. and he's anxious to shoot it, laughing awkwardly when he gets it wrong. but billie's guiding him around the trigger and showing him how to shoot straight, and he can do it. he can. and then all their phones start blowing up, especially brody's - and he's terrified, because everything that happened to him is happening all over again. but billie's handing him the gun and saying 'this keeps us safe', and he has to believe it's true.

the third time is after mouse gets attacked. brody's been outed, david's been thrown under the bus, the money's gone, billie's in jail and mouse is hurt. mouse, his friend, his brother, the little kid he watched grow up and swore would never be as scared as david was to exist. and it's all closing in - their escape plan is gone, they're all stuck here in danger forever with no way out, brody's information was given to a conversion camp, everyone is even more furious and hateful towards all of them and none of them can do anything as mouse gets attacked in broad daylight. and david wants so badly to be scared, to break down and cry, but he can't. because he's the dreamer, and he's always failed them once. so when mouse says their piece about it being 'a hard rite of passage for weird boys in small towns', david wants to be proud of them - but he's just furious with himself that he's let another weird boy get beaten. so he's going to do something about it. he has to.

the fourth time is his thought process before and after 'saint david', starting with him on his knees in front of ms banks as she asks him how can he expect anything else than what he got when he insists on rocking the boat. he has to have something wrong with him that makes him thrive on people hating him. he has to. and she's telling him it won't last, that someday he's going to look at himself in shame and hide himself all over again, and he can't let that be true. so he forces himself to be brave, to be a saint, to martyr himself if it means shielding every other queer kid in town from what he went through. so he takes billie's gun and he goes to find kelly, because what other choice does he have? he has to be brave now. for him and everyone else.

the fifth time is during the standoff, when he's holding the gun at kelly and feeling power for the first time. he could actually save someone here. kelly's the ringleader, she's the one who keeps them tormented. if she's gone, it's safer. people know they can't just push them around anymore. mouse won't get beaten up in the hallways. maybe billie will still be able to go to college. he can do this. but then billie's there, begging him not to do it, telling him there's no reason to, and all he can do is scream at her to shut up, just shut up, because he knows. he knows there's no reason to kill kelly. he knows it won't solve anything. but he is so tired. he's so fucking tired. he can't take this anymore. but billie's taking his hand, telling him that this won't end anything for him, that he deserves to live his life as beautiful or as ugly as he wants - and david's so scared of that, of never getting that life even when he tries for it, of the thought that there really, truly is something wrong with him that he can never get away from. but he listens. he puts the gun down. he has to keep trying. trying to be brave. trying to believe his life is worth living.

and then the time david doesn't have to be brave at all; this would be after the events of the show, including the final scene at the pride parade. the group is all back at the creek, breaking their 'once a year, anytime, anyplace, anywhere but winchester creek' rule for the first time. david's just walked through his shitty home town in a skirt and a t-shirt that reads 'gay-boy' and he's still kind of reeling over it. billie's passed the bar. peaches is sleeping on her girlfriend's shoulder, because she can actually sleep now. brody, the jock he used to fucking despise, is wearing a shirt that says 'himbo' on it. and mouse is twenty-two, four years into testosterone and still making little crowns out of daisies. and they tie that crown on david's head, and it's like they're kids again, except not, because mouse has a rat-stache that they absolutely refuse to shave and the scars on david's wrists are pale pink instead of angry red and there's nothing in his head except for the sound of frogs and a crown of daisies and he's fine. he's totally fine. he doesn't need to be brave anymore. because he's fine.

... i think the post you made said 'SHORT synopsis' jac but. i don't care this is my blog and i am god here. sorry it's not newsies, i just really love billie the kid with all my heart and i want to write something for it SO bad and when i saw the quote the ideas just started coming and wouldn't stop. but if you want to send in another or have me re-do this for newsies just let me know and i can!!!

#i'm sorry yall newsies has been dethroned for me. it is still my little princess but billie... she is my queen #david frances #billie the kid #tw suicide mention #tw scar mention #billie the kid musical #we-are-inevitable

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greenapricot · 1 year

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2022 fic year in review

Total number of completed stories: 7

Total word count: 73,146

Fandoms written in: Our Flag Means Death (3), Lewis (2), Shetland (2)

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected? More fic by word count, but less by number of fics.

For the past couple of years I'd been fixated of the idea of posting a fic a month (which did help me get through the early part of the pandemic) but it also kept me from writing anything long. So, in 2022, I decided to let the one fic a month thing go and try to write something longer (which led to me accidentally writing the longest thing I've ever written).

What’s your own favorite story of the year? This actually really hard for me to decide because I spent the second half of the year working on one fic, but I think I’ll have to go with The time it takes to get from here to there (Lewis, James/Robbie). I’ve been meaning to write a story that focuses on the Soul of Genius for years and not only did I finally manged but I also think it’s very true to the vibe that the episode deserves.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I wrote the longest thing I’ve ever written which is also a full AU and in a new fandom: Riches and Wonders (OFMD, blackbonnet, modern AU). But I think of it as more of an experiment than a risk.

I didn’t actually intend to write something novel-length when I started and once I realized that was what was happening I’d already written half of it. So then it became a game of can I write something that long in less than a year and could I start posting it before it was 100% complete and still finish it. The answer is yes to all of that and I’m super proud of myself for getting there and sticking with it.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? I said this last year too, but I really do want to finish the sequel to Lead me wild to your dark roads (Lewis/Shetland xover, James goes walking in Shetland). I was working on it pretty steadily before I started the little OFMD modern AU that turned into R&W.

Then, there are those three Lewis casefics that I’ve got mostly plotted that I would like to finish someday, plus I’d like to write some Izzy POV (possibly in the R&W universe). And there are a few other WIPs an new ideas kicking around. But mostly I just want to keep writing things that make me happy.

Most popular story of the year? Riches and Wonder by all possible metrics (which is probably a bit unfair it being in a far bigger fandom than I’ve written in in years and 15 chapters long). It’s actually one of my most popular fics period at this point. Second most popular by kudos is It’s misery loves you and by comments is The time it takes to get from here to there.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: Don’t go dark on me (Shetland, Jimmy/Duncan). Part of my s6 missing scenes series that takes place before the first episode.

Most fun story to write: It's misery loves you (OFMD, blackbonnet, Izzy POV) Writing Izzy watching Ed and Stede reuniting and being absolutely fucking livid about it was so much fun. I think the final count was 38 fucks in a 1900 word fic. I love writing unreliable narrators and his utter impotent rage just made me snicker all the way through. Definitely want to write some more Izzy POV this year.

Here comes your man (Lewis, James/Robbie) was also very fun, getting James all flustered after seeing old photos of Robbie in his rugby shorts.

Most unintentionally telling story: I hardly ever have a good answer to this question and I feel like I have even less of one than usual for 2022 since more than six months of it was spent working on R&W (which is a blatant romantic comedy with a dash of angst in the middle for flavor). Maybe that’s something telling? Really what I want is a story with a bit of angst and an HEA (this is not at all surprising).

Biggest disappointment: For the past few years I’ve has a goal of finishing one of my three Lewis casefics and I didn’t do that again in 2022. But I did write the longest thing I’ve ever written in 7 months so I feel like that’s a good compromise. Also, the fact that I was able to finish something so long in (for me) in such a short time gives me hope that I will finish one of those casefics one day.

Biggest surprise: Being inspired to write in a new fandom which is a really big fandom and writing the longest fic I’ve even written, and completely without intending to. Also, apparently I didn’t write any Endeavour fic in 2022, so here’s hoping I get inspired by s9.

I don’t know how many people have done this (or something like it) already but I’ll tag: @thankyouforbeingsowrong @bryndeavour @vita-s-west @mcgstarroar @mr-iskender @femmenerdy @philleegirl @swimmingfoxsticks @desperately-human and anyone else who wants to do this.

List of the fics I wrote in 2022 under the cut:

Don't go dark on me - Shetland (1,159 words) Jimmy/Duncan - teen - Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

Jimmy’s brow furrows into that pursed-lipped annoyed look of his, he shakes his head. “You’re just going to leave it to chance? See what happens and then sort out the fallout later?”

“No,” Duncan says, he puts two pairs of wool socks into Jimmy’s suitcase, then a third, trying to keep his tone even. “I’m going to make a deliberate decision to support my partner after the death of his mum.”

Here Comes Your Man - Lewis (4,046 words) James/Robbie - explicit - Robbie Lewis in rugby shorts, thirsty pining, Oral Sex

“Find something interesting?” Lewis asks. He sounds amused.

“Um.” James’ face goes hot. Every potential quip dries up on the tip of his tongue. He is still holding the rugby photo, the other three photos next to him on the table, clear evidence of his prying. He’s sat in one of Lewis’ dining chairs, but he has no memory of sitting down, and he— “I suppose you could say that,” James says feebly.

The time it takes to get from here to there - Lewis (6,445 words) James/Robbie - teen - The Soul of Genius, Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending

Lewis is right, James does want someone in his life. Need, he’s not so sure about, but he is intimately acquainted with want. Trouble is, that person is sitting across the table from him, oblivious, and telling him to go find someone else.

It's misery loves you - Our Flag Means Death (1,908 words) Ed/Stede - mature - Reunions, Izzy POV, Izzy-typical overuse of the word fuck Pirate-typical violence

“Ed!” someone shouts.

Izzy spins around, following Blackbeard’s gaze. Who the fuck dares?

And fucking, fuck. Walking toward Blackbeard through the smoke and fog like he has any fucking right to be here, as if anyone fucking wants him here, is Stede fucking Bonnet.

A tunnel to crawl through - Our Flag Means Death (2,361 words) Ed/Stede - mature - Reunions, Pirate-typical violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort

“Ed?” Stede’s hand touches his arm, his fingers are rough in a way they weren’t before, when Stede passed him teacups and fine fabrics, when they— “Edward, are you okay?”

Blackbeard looks down at Stede’s hand on his arm, at Stede’s face so close to his own, at the dagger he’s still holding to Stede’s throat which he has made no effort to step away from. His hand is shaking, the blade trembling against Stede’s skin. Stede who is here. Stede who is right fucking in front of him, close enough to smell if Blackbeard were to take a breath.

Never quite like this - Shetland (753 words) Jimmy/Duncan - teen - First Kiss

“Hey,” Jimmy says, as if he hasn’t said just that to Duncan a thousand times over the years in a thousand ways; exhausted, exasperated, teasing, content, relieved, fond even. But he’s never said it quite like this. Never with his face so close to Duncan’s it’s barely in focus. Never with that soft look in his eyes.

“Hey,” Duncan says, more of a sigh than a word.

Riches and Wonders - Our Flag Means Death (56,474 words) Ed/Stede - explicit - Modern AU, Mutual Pining, while also spending all their time together, a bit of angst, with a happy ending (in both senses of the word), So Much Softness

“Yes,” Stede says, sitting up a little taller on his bar stool. “I would love a drink.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Stede.”

“Stede,” Mr Gorgeous Brown Eyes says. “Unusual. I like it.” And Stede likes the way his name sounds on the man’s lips. “I’m Ed.”

Ed’s handshake is firm, his fingers warm and a bit calloused, the leather of his fingerless gloves smooth and soft. Stede’s eyes are drawn to the tattoos circling his arm as the handshake lingers maybe a bit too long.

#fic year in review #our flag means death #inspector lewis #lewis #shetland #ofmd #itv lewis #bbc shetland #my fic

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