#I still haven’t bought it yet LMAO

[kaiba-cave]

I’ve done pretty much everything in Cyberpunk 2077 now except for one of the endings, but I need to give it a rest so I’m not burnt out on it before the DLC comes out. Then I’ll play it a third time. ☺️

But I can’t decide what game I should play now. I’m leaning towards Horizon Forbidden West since I already have it downloaded. I also downloaded some game called Ghostwire because I thought it looked cool. Aaaand I still have Ghost of Tsushima which I’ll probably restart.

Decisions decisions.

[eoieopda]

reckless serenade (kth)

i’ve been trying to figure out exactly what it is i need // called up to listen to the voice of reason // and got the answering machine

Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Fem!Reader Type: One-Shot - Sequel to The Bad Thing drabble. Summary: Your husband hasn’t looked at you in months, but his co-worker, Kim Taehyung, can’t take his eyes off you. Word Count: 4K, with 2K+ being smut, lmao. Content: SMUT - 18+; Taehyung's POV; infidelity; reader's husband really is just The Worst; oral sex (m and f receiving); multiple orgasms; face-sitting; penetrative sex (p in v); tbh it doesn't explicitly state whether it's protected or unprotected sex, so??; moral quandaries; Taehyung gets his own fucking warning tbh. A/N: This Taehyung is back by popular demand. This picks up where the drabble left off, so go read that if you haven’t! Actual note and tags are at the end :)

You’d returned to the table separately, several minutes apart, to quell suspicion.

As it turned out, the subtlety hadn’t been unnecessary. Nobody batted an eye when Taehyung sat down after a prolonged absence; and, as expected, your husband’s lecherous gaze hadn’t left the waitress long enough to find you missing. So, when you’d slid back into the seat at Taehyung’s side, no one knew your dirty little secret.

Secrets. Plural.

Park Ji-won might never know that you’d just orgasmed thrice, only a few meters away behind an unlocked door. Or that Taehyung’s orgasm was still lingering where he left it, staining the inside of your little lace panties. Or that the wedding ring he’d bought for his pretty, young bride was still in Taehyung’s pocket, rolling between the fingers that now knew you inside and out.

Definitely not that you’d left that ring in Taehyung’s possession with the promise of retrieving it after dinner — if you even wanted that tacky thing back in the first place.

When the bill came, Taehyung’s co-workers — your husband included — whined like petulant fucking children that the twelve bottles of liquor they’d consumed were fully accounted for. Out of habit, Taehyung glowered and turned to see how you were reacting, only to find that you’d done the same.

There was a wry smile tugging at your lips when you whispered, “Well, well, well… if it isn’t the consequences of their own actions.”

He’d snorted into his glass of water, watched his life flash before his eyes, and — thankfully — managed to swallow down his laughter before he could choke on it.

Is this the personality your husband misses out on, listening to everyone but you?

Taehyung, keeper of the company’s black card, bowed to the waitress as he handed it over. She’d smiled at him — the first genuine one he’d seen from her all night — and scurried off to close out what had likely been one of the worst shifts of her life thus far.

Normally, he’d feel the same: eager to leave and get the fuck away from the ghouls he already spent too much time with. So annoyed by their lack of manners and restraint that his rage would carry him out the door, to his car, and home again without either foot seeming to come in contact with the ground. He’d levitate this time, too, but for different reasons.

Instead, Taehyung flew home on thoughts of you. He’d replayed the way you shivered when he pulled your chair out for you and helped you into your coat. Like a rose petal in his palm, so fucking delicate, he’d carried the memory of your hand bumping innocently against his on his way out the door. And as he drove, he thought of what you’d said under your breath.

Am I a consequence of your husband’s actions, too?

Taehyung has been home for two hours now, and he still doesn’t know what the fuck to do with himself. 

He doesn’t bother turning on the television; he’d never be able to focus on whatever would end up flashing across the screen. He doesn’t pick up one of the many books in that untouched, yet ever-growing pile on his coffee table. His gaze keeps flicking hopefully towards his front door, as if staring at it with intention will manifest you on the other side. 

What if you changed your mind? What if you'd been caught out? What the hell was Taehyung supposed to do with your wedding ring if you never came back for it? 

Fuck. Shit! Motherfu— 

His catastrophizing is cut short by a quiet knock on the door. Three shy taps in quick succession, they mirror the way Taehyung’s heart is thudding against his rib cage. He ignores the anticipation turning cartwheels in his stomach as he pushes himself off the couch and makes his way to you. 

Even though you’d announced your intentions earlier, Taehyung is still semi-shocked when he opens the door and sees you standing on his doorstep. The look in your eyes tells him that you’re surprised, too. At yourself, maybe, for following this rabbit hole down to the bottom. Or at him, because he hadn’t used any of the past two hours to change from his suit into something less stuffy. 

You did change, he notes immediately. You’ve traded in your dress and stilettos for active wear; and Taehyung really might die now, jealous of leggings that smooth over your curves like water. It’s the comfort that really has him fucked up, though. The hair in a loose knot on top of your head, the barely-there stain of pink on your lips now that your lipstick has been discarded. 

“There you are,” He hums with a tilt of his head. There on his doorstep; there in real time; there in what he can guess is your usual state. Fucking perfect. “Wasn’t sure if you changed your mind.” 

You cross your arms, shifting your weight from one foot to the other, and tilt your head just the same. “I didn't,” you breeze, “I was conducting an endurance test.” 

“Oh?” Taehyung chuckles softly, “Do tell.” 

“I wanted to see how long I could tolerate sitting home, alone, without even a texted excuse – and without going out of my mind.” 

“Two hours? Impressive.” 

“Forty-five minutes,” You correct him, eyes twinkling, “I just got really, really lost on my way here.” 

“Even more impressive.” Taehyung grins as he opens the door and steps aside to invite you in.  

You slink through the gap; and he can’t tell if the way you brush against him is intentional or not. Then, you toe off your sneakers and leave them on the mat next to the door. You look up at him, but he’s still looking at your shoes.  

Plausible deniability, he realizes. Just in case tonight is the first night that your husband cares where you are — out on a run. 

Taehyung pushes the thought away, tears his gaze off of those Nikes, and refocuses on you. Ignoring the million things he wants to do to you, he nods up the hall to his kitchen. “Care for a drink? I’ve got an incredible bottle of Bordeaux from Pomerol.” 

“Just one bottle?” Your tiny smirk weakens his resolve even further. If he didn't love these little exchanges so much, he'd be worshipping you by now. “Not twelve?” 

The most perplexing thing about you isn’t how quick-witted you are. Taehyung’s seen it in every conversation he’s ever had with you; and he waits patiently for it, every time. The twist is how subtle you are with your little quips. Perfectly understated, they’ll fly right under the radar of anyone who doesn’t expect them.  

Does your husband even know to look?

He leads and you follow until you’re both standing in his kitchen. You take in your surroundings while you nibble thoughtfully on your bottom lip. Taehyung digs through a poorly organized drawer for a corkscrew he’s not sure he even owns.

Now, he’s nervous. This is the part where you find out he’s not a wine guy. He spent every step here praying that you wouldn’t ask him a single question about that Bordeaux because he couldn’t tell you a goddamn thing about it — except that it was a gift from a client, and that he hadn’t opened it because he prefers beer. 

You, on the other hand, enjoy wine. If you do end up drinking at the firm events you attend, that’s what you choose. While your husband is off somewhere, drowning in hard liquor, Taehyung is laughing with you and your glass at a table. When the night’s over, he replays the sight of your tongue darting out over your lips, collecting the excess maroon that lingers when you pull your glass away. 

Taehyung can’t point out Pomerol on a map and, as it turns out, he can barely operate a wine-opener. Thankfully, you have your back turned and your eyes fixed on the wall calendar full of shit he intends to blow off. You don’t glance back at him until, with a pop, he finally yanks the mangled cork from the bottle’s neck. 

Before he can turn to the counter and grab two wine glasses from the rack hanging overhead, you’re already on task. On tiptoe, reaching up, up, up, you let out a frustrated whine when you still come up short. On instinct, Taehyung steps into the space behind you. You lean back against him while he secures one glass in each hand; he feels the heat radiating off your body and nearly drops them.

Not that he would mind.

It’s so hard to give a shit about this wine with the curve of your ass so near to his dick, but he’s a better host than he is a co-worker, so he slips away to pour you a drink. Once he’s finished, he holds yours out to you.

If he were drunk by now, he could’ve blamed it on the alcohol, but he swears there’s a faint crackle of electricity when your fingertips brush against his. 

You close your eyes and inhale through your nose. “Mmm,” you hum appreciatively, eyes re-opening to blink up at him, “Smells incredible, doesn’t it?” 

Taehyung has no fucking clue because he forgot to fill a glass for himself. He doesn’t care if you notice, either; he’s too transfixed by the sight of your lips parting as you bring your glass to your mouth. You take that burgundy in, the column of your throat bobs as you swallow, and he’s waiting for it – waiting for it – waiting for it... 

It’s such an innocent action, the tip of your tongue swiping over your lip, but it sets off something primal in him.  

Bordering on feral, Taehyung sets his still-empty glass back on the granite surface of the island and takes four, wide steps to you. A little gasp tumbles out when his hands claim your waist, but it isn’t surprise. Pupils suddenly blown wide, it’s want that prompts you to discard your drink beside his and tangle both hands in his hair. 

Though he’s wanted to for years, this is the first time Taehyung has ever kissed you. It’s carnal. You kiss him back, and it’s all clicking teeth, whimpers, and desperate, clinging fingers. Insatiable, too, and it tastes like fancy French wine.  

You’re starving for it, he knows, and you whine when his tongue leaves yours lonely. That pout could convince him, without a word, to rob a bank at gunpoint.

Who the fuck would leave you home alone? 

“Angel,” Taehyung pants, locking eyes with you. He runs the pad of his thumb over your flushed cheek and feels the way you shiver. “I’m not above fucking you in this kitchen, but after fucking you in a public restroom, I think you’ve earned a bit more comfort than that.”

“Oh, fuck – just like that, angel. Shit!"

You’re on your knees between his spread legs with his throbbing length down your throat and your hair flicked over your shoulder. It’d all spilled from your top-knot a while ago, and Taehyung remains thankful for the shitty construction of that elastic band. Now, he has some part of you to hold while the rest of your body is out of reach.  

Every instinct is telling Taehyung to throw his head back against the pillow – with his eyes screwed shut and his mouth hanging open – but then he’d miss the way you keep looking up at him under dark eyelashes. Wet eyes blink as your ravenous mouth works magic, and goddamn, this talent has been going to waste for years. 

If he lets your ministrations continue, he’ll be dead long before he can pay you back – with interest. Buried before he can thank you properly for your service with his face between your thighs. So, Taehyung swallows hard, cards his fingers through your hair, and gently guides you off of him. 

He’s committed a lot of sins in the past six hours, but interrupting your medal-worthy exhibition feels like the worst of them. 

Your voice is a bit hoarse from how much of him you’d taken and how’d deeply you taken him. Wiping at the spit that slicks your chin, you look self-conscious when you rasp, “Is something wrong?” 

“No,” Taehyung shakes his head firmly though most – definitely not all – of him feels like gelatin. “Fuck no, sweets. That’s why I have to stop you.” 

Sitting back on your knees, you pout, and he melts. He’s already spent too much time wondering how your husband can leave you on the sidelines – but that was before Taehyung knew what face you make when you don’t get your way.  

Goodbye world, he thinks. He’ll never get out of this bed as long as you’re in it.

He beckons you with a curl of his finger, wholly unprepared for the ramifications of his decision to do so. Now, you’re straddling him, hovering overhead with your face mere centimeters away from his. You lean in when he cradles your jaw in his hand. So sweet, you smile a little when you feel the tickle of his breath warm your lips. 

“Ride me.”

Taehyung can’t help himself; he’s nearly pleading. You smirk and move your hand down towards the cock leaking all over his stomach. He reaches out, taps under your chin, and stops you in your tracks. You burn pink when he clarifies, “Not there.” 

This idea has you frozen in place. Worse, there’s a speck of anxiety blooming in your eyes; and Taehyung doesn’t have to guess why. He’ll add this to the infinite list of ways Park Ji-won has fucking failed you. 

Taehyung was already propped up on his elbow, but now he sits up fully to meet you where you are. “Hey,” he murmurs, stroking his thumb over your chin before kissing you, “Only if it’s what you want. For what it’s worth –”  

Fuck, you look so shy.

He kisses you again. “I want you to fuck yourself on my tongue –” And again. “Until you’ve taken back every orgasm –” Another kiss, and you whimper, “You’ve been deprived of.” 

When Taehyung’s eyes flicker back to yours, there’s a new sense of determination burning in your irises. Even better, there’s a brief twitch in your jaw as you place your palm against his bare chest and push him back down against the mattress.

You’re a force of nature every day of the week, but as you crawl over him, it’s the most powerful he’s ever seen you look. 

Your hands take hold of the headboard as you lower yourself down towards his mouth, which is already watering at the mere thought of tasting you. Pausing with your slick center just out of his reach, you glance down at Taehyung. He tilts his head to the side, nips playfully at your inner thigh, then soothes the sting with a slow swipe from his tongue. 

He doesn’t say a word, but you hear him, nonetheless. Keep going. You do, and you both groan when his mouth meets your cunt.

Finally.

Tongue teasing at your clit, Taehyung’s hands on your thighs pull you down harder. He refuses to accept the shyness keeping distance between you. No, he demands your full weight; all of you.  

Angel that you are, you acquiesce and grant permission for him to devour you fully. Taehyung can’t hear you keening over the suckling, slurping, and panting, but he can feel it in the way your thigh muscles clench around his head. 

His name rings out clear as a bell, though, right before your whole body begins to shake. 

“F-fuck!” You squeak, crumpling forward.  

Taehyung suspects that your orgasm is too heavy to face sitting upright, but whatever the reason is, it’s bringing your fluttering cunt closer and closer to him; and he has no plans to stop at one. Spit-slicked and gushing over his mouth, the way you begin to grind against him says that you aren’t tapping out, either. 

It’s a start, but he wants more from you. To coax it out, Taehyung pushes his fingertips deeper into the flesh of your legs and pleads with you to give him everything you have. You listen – so fucking well – and drop one hand from the headboard to grip his hair.

Yes, he screams inside his head. Use me, angel, just like that. And you do, rolling your hips against his mouth, tugging at his curls until he feels that incredible sting at his roots. 

You come a second time with his tongue darting inside your hole, nose brushing against your clit. Insatiable, both of you, he forces out a third before those aftershocks can even subside. 

Taehyung gasps for air when you wriggle away from him. You’re equally out-of-breath when you collapse sideways onto the bed and rest your trembling body against his. When he turns his head to look over at you, he expects to find you with your eyes closed, fully spent. Instead, despite your fluttering eyelids, you stare right back at him. 

The way your fingertip traces soft spirals across his chest has his brain spinning, too. For reasons he can’t explain, that delicate touch feels infinitely more intimate than the million ways he’s touched you over the course of the night. It’s the most at-peace he’s felt, too, but you throw a curveball to keep him on his toes. 

“Not tired already, are you?” You tease with a devilish grin before placing a kiss on his bicep. When he laughs incredulously at you – you minx – you keep those little kisses coming until they're trailing up the curve of his shoulder. 

Taehyung is a firm believer in showing, not simply telling. Catching you completely off-guard, he rolls over until you’re pinned beneath him, head caged between his arms. Your surprise left you in a gasp, but the shock has already given way when he ducks down to nibble at the side of your neck.

You moan when he nips at your earlobe; you miss the way he smirks against your skin because your eyes have fluttered shut again. Who's tired now? He growls low from his chest to recapture your attention, “How do you want it, beautiful?” 

Everywhere, all the time, like I do? 

Taehyung suckles at a spot below your jaw, and he doesn’t give a fuck if your husband finds his calling card. You don’t either, it seems; you whimper and roll your head to the side to increase his access. 

You keen as you place your hands on his shoulder and dig your nails into his skin, “Dealer’s choice, just – please fuck me.” It sounds close enough to a cry when you continue, “I need you inside of me – now.” 

How could he ever say no when you beg like that? 

Your poor thighs have been through enough, so Taehyung keeps you where you are: nestled underneath him with your heaving chest brushing against his with every breath. You spread your legs to create space for him, then cross your ankles behind his back when you feel his tip tease at your entrance. 

He has to fight to keep his eyes open when he enters you; unwilling to miss a second of the way your mouth falls open, even though you’re too vexed to audibly moan. He’s not – not yet, anyway – and he can't keep quiet when your wet heat envelops him.  

Slowly to start, Taehyung grinds against you, pushing his cock further into your cunt until he’s buried to the hilt.  “Holy shit,” he grunts.

You’re dripping. There are rivulets of you spilling over his length, coating him all the way down. Still, your walls grip him tightly enough to dot stars behind his eyelids. Squeezing, daring him to move but fighting him as he tries to leave. You’ll milk him dry, sooner rather than later.

“I’ll never get over this – could fuck you every day, and it wouldn’t be enough.” 

Whimpers spill out of you as he continues to rut against you, stretch you open for him. Your nails dig half-moons into his arms, and they sting, but Taehyung wants every single souvenir you’re willing to give him. He’d archive every touch if he could; play every mewl of yours on a loop, and savor the way it feels when you orgasm around his cock. 

“So, don’t stop,” You pant, gripping his jaw and pulling him close enough to kiss. Against his lips, you repeat your demand, “Don’t ever stop.” 

Taehyung is still trying to determine which version of you has him most fucked in the head.

He thought it was you and your little, black dress and heels. The version of you that followed the man who took your wedding ring into a public restroom; fucked him; and then left without your ring.

Then, he met the version of you that dresses down for clandestine, extra-marital dick appointments. A dark horse, certainly, but then there's the one who wore nothing at all; who shook, and cried, and came all over his face.

The best thing, he realizes, came last.

It's you in his crewneck, towel-drying your hair in his bathroom while he brushes his teeth. You, saying you'll stay – just this once – because you know for a fact that your husband never came home. You with your chin resting on his chest as your sleepy gaze struggles to focus on him.

Taehyung had figured that you were too tired to speak, so you startle him with your voice; even more so with the deep frown working its way over your face. With how much you shrink when you say, "I think I'm a bad person."

"Why, because you're here?"

You nod. His heart drops, though not because he didn't expect this. Rubbing gentle circles into your back, Taehyung inhales, deep in thought. There's a lot he wants to say, but significantly less that he can even begin to articulate. He can't say the quiet part out loud, even though it's screaming through his skull.

Maybe if your husband was a good person, you wouldn't be where you are right now. Maybe if he loved you, he would be home to notice that you weren't.

He tries his best, sighing, "I think people are a lot more complicated than that."

This thought catches your attention. Your chin digs into him slightly as you tilt your curious head to the side. Cute.

He continues, "I think we're given a hand of cards – some of them great, most of them shitty – and we do our best to play them well. You know, to the extent that we can."

"Do you really believe that, or are you trying to make me feel better?" You smirk, playfully tugging at the waistband of his boxers.

Taehyung exhales forcefully through his nose and tucks a runaway strand of damp hair behind your ear, "Does it matter?"

tagging: @borahae-k @i-purple-buff-bunni @pamzn @myimaginationsrunningwild @nonbinary-demonbrat @mgthecat @btschimeyplanet @jihopesjoint @jaejoontrashpanda @taebaelove @cyanide-mustard @xjoonchildx @jkoofier (couldn't tag) @bbyorchid (couldn't tag) @persphonesorchid @sncx3 @hersheytheekiss (couldn't tag) @iammisstora @quarter-life-crisis2 @here2bbtstrash @dvalitaes @1dsn @iadelicacy

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likes are always appreciated, but it's feedback that means the most — whether that's in a comment below, PM, reblog, tags, etc. tysm for reading ✨

A/N: So, by now, you've noticed that the original drabble and this fic are both in Tae's POV. I did not want to tell the reader how to feel about this. I wanted it to be as open-to-interpretation as possible, and I really, really, really wanna know what y'all think about the thing I didn't clarify: Do you think (1) they actually have feelings for each other; (2) Taehyung loves the idea of her and feels like he's "saving" her; (3) Reader just wants to be wanted, for once; or (4) it's a combination of things? HMMMM.

[powderblueblood]

how would they handle a pregnancy scare?

TW pregnancy scare i guess WHOOPS it’s ANGSTY in here lmao

HAHA. well!

“did this take this long the first time we did it?”

oh, you mean the first time they did it when lacy bought nancy wheeler’s pregnancy test and they had to wait around in the freezing broken boys bathroom in the middle of midwinter to see if harrington had sired something?

“no,” lacy says, extracting her little finger from her mouth where she’s chewed it to mince, “time has slowed down to a glacial pace in order to punish me for my sins.”

eddie, sitting in the bathtub, attempts a grin. he’s not feeling too spiffy either. “getting locked out of wed?”

“coming off the fucking pill.”

how late is she? late enough to mention, late enough to worry. see, lacy’d been on the pill since they began this little world-axis-shifting dalliance of theirs so she and eddie had enjoyed the luxury of bareback, so to speak. she had put a lot of faith in that thing, but it so happened that she started getting these splitting migraines and low, low, low moods so her campus doctor had suggested that she come off the pill for a little bit. see if that changed anything. hormone imbalance and all that.

problem was, it was kind of hard to remember that she had come off it. those first couple of times, it was kind of an event, lacy making sliding that condom onto eddie almost ritualistic in a way that had him near to busting. but a time or two after that, it kinda… slipped their mind.

it happens. right? or is she stupid all of a sudden?

eddie’s a good boyfriend. drove her right to the drugstore, walked her right up to the counter so at least if the clerk gave her a dirty look, he was giving it to both of them.

but there’s just… something…

“you haven’t… changed your mind or anything?”

the last time they did this, eddie had asked her if she wanted kids. they hadn’t gotten together yet, but the tension between them was like a pot boiling over. spitting everywhere.

“i fully reserve the right to change my answer given the fact that we are eight-shitting-teen years old.”

but now she is twenty. her twenty first birthday looming, in fact.

eddie, doe eyed, watches lacy like he knows she’s got a knot in her chest, because she does. he watches her hands curl over her face, shoulders tense.

“not even…”

because a good girlfriend would say yes, right? a good girlfriend would be like, yes, of course, because i worship the ground you walk on, because i should drop all notions of my life without a second thought at the mere suggestion of a kid with you, because it would make you so happy. and i love you, so much. all i want is to make you happy. i’d eat the sun if that meant anything to you.

that’s what a good girlfriend would do, right? that’s how she would act. overjoyed. dreamy eyed. we’ll make it work, baby, you and me.

and there’ll always be the notion that we shackled each other to this town we purport to hate. and i’ll watch you avoid becoming your father and you’ll watch me become mine. and a little bit of my mother, too. and wayne will still hate me, even moreso for trapping you here. and in between, there’ll be this baby who didn’t ask for any of this at all.

“you can’t hate me for this,” lacy chokes. “i’m begging you.”

i was raised in resentment and i would never risk doing that to another child.

eddie feels sick. he hauls out of the bathtub to wrap his arms around her but his heart is hammering in his ears.

of course he wants this. and when he pictures a kid that theoretically has his eyes and her nose, he gets scared when he can’t really see her in those visions. others, sure. they’re clear as day. eddie knows what their wedding bands will look like, and what she’ll look like brushing her hand through her hair when she’s wearing it.

but he doesn’t see lacy glowing and barefoot, even though he’s tried.

“i don’t… lace…”

elizabeth munson was twenty when she had eddie. al was a little older. she’d snapped her life in half to uproot from memphis to hawkins, only to die six years after.

eddie really tries to make it not feel like a crusade to better his father’s wrongs, when he imagines it. you know?

“because i love you so much, i love you so much that i couldn’t take it,” lacy’s voice cracks in time with his heart, “if you hated me for this.”

a horrible thought flashes through eddie’s mind. would you do it if it meant i would never hate you?

“i love you,” is all he says into her hair, “i really, really love you.”

they stand on the cold tile of the bathroom for a long time. two people very much in love, and seemingly at odds.

eddie peers over lacy’s head at the watch on the counter.

“alright, sweetheart.” feels impersonal. he never calls her that. that’s for the outside world.

lacy picks up the stark white strip from the test tube, and her voice shakes.

“well. a lot of drama over… nothing. i’m sorry.”

eddie watches her shrink into herself, and would easily sock himself in the jaw if he thought it would do any good.

“hey!” his dazzling smile comes into her view, and she nearly buys it for a second. “forget about it, okay? who needs some fucking loser baby, right?”

but what eddie means, in that present moment, at twenty years old, is until next time.

and what lacy knows, in that present moment, at twenty years old, is there won’t be one.

[ordinorultor-if]

So I decided a while ago to do some facts about me when the demo dropped. Even though the demo’s been pushed back to Friday, I wanted to share some stuff about myself anyways!

So! You guys can call me JB, and today is my 21st birthday (shoutout to that one anon whose birthday is also today). I’m a cis man, and while I’m questioning my sexuality, I’m fairly certain I’m bisexual. I’m a practicing Roman Catholic, but I’m not an asshole about it - be who you wanna be, love who you wanna love, and believe in what you believe in, as long as you’re not an asshole I’m cool with you.

I was born in Chicago and lived there for a while, but me and my mom moved to Wisconsin shortly after my father passed away. Up here we basically live on a farm. We have a garden and lots of animals - two dogs and a whole flock of chickens, and we used to have horses and ducks too. I also used to have a bearded dragon (named George, because of St. George and the Dragon), but I took terrible care of the poor guy and he got sick and passed away.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a scientist really bad. To some extent I still do, but I’ve always loved story telling, so a few years ago I realized I wanted to be a creative writer instead. While I’m currently on break from university, while I was attending I had an English Major with a Creative Writing Focus. I never declared a minor, and I was intending on a Chemistry Minor, but I might decide on an Engineering Minor when I return.

Besides reading/playing IFs, I’m into video games, TTRPGs (which is actually how I got into Interactive Fiction), firearms, history, religion and mythology, and general culture stuff. Seeing some of that, I think you could see how I ended up with the ideas for this game lol. Some of my favorite games include Crusader Kings 3 (which is how I came up with the idea for this game, playing a custom character in the Duchy of Aquitaine), Hearts of Iron IV, Skyrim, Fallout 4 (I haven’t seen the show yet, please don’t spoil it ~_~), and Cyberpunk 2077.

As mentioned above, I got into Interactive Fiction because of my love of TTRPGs. I think I’ve mentioned this story before, but I’m into Vampire: the Masquerade, and shortly after V:tM - Night Road released, I bought and played it. Around this time last year I looked into Choice of Games because of it, and the rest is history.

Also, since I couldn’t fit it in anywhere else, some genres and writing/trope stuff I like:

Childhood friends to lovers (all time favorite romance trope)

Peggy Sue fix-it fics (after all, I’m writing one over on AO3 lmao)

The former friends reconciling while facing impossible odds

Blending genres, like with sci-fan or gothic western

Related to the above: when fantasy settings have sci-fi lore/origins, and vice versa (FE3H my beloved)

Tarot motifs (again, FE3H my beloved)

Eldritch/cosmic horror

Gothic settings

Dragons that are really weird (FEA my beloved. And again, FE3H my beloved)

Anyways, that’s really all I can think of. Also, a reminder: Warlock is the best class in D&D 5E /s

[lottieurl]

Mid-Year Book Freakout

tagged by @asalesbian (thank youuuu)

number of books you’ve read so far: 24

best book you’ve read so far in 2024: CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS BY NANA KWAME ADJEI-BRENYAH. i need everyone to read that it's been like. months and i still think of it so often. the short story collection by the same author is also up there he's just so good

best sequel you’ve read so far in 2024: haven't read any. pretty much only stand alone books or just the first book in a series (like she who became the sun or the three-body problem)

new release you haven’t read yet but want to: private rites by julia armfield!! i HAVE the book. signed! but i wasn't in the right mood and it's important to me to read this one in the right moment cause julia's writing is to me like what i imagine religion feels like to some people lmao

most anticipated release for the second half of the year: nothing really? i rarely wait for a release it's like a few authors who i love enough to even be aware they have something new coming out

biggest surprise: bunny by mona awad in part cause i had no idea what's it about and actually haven't heard of it much before except for remembering miles @chappelroans mentioning something gay that happens and because of it going into it with completely different expectations fbsbdbd loved it tho it was a great kind of surprise and why i read cat's cradle by kurt vonnegut this year lmao i had a craving for weird books

favorite new author (debut or new to you): NANA KWAME ADJEI-BRENYAH. really loving mona awad as well and i only read one book by susan abulhawa but her writing is absolutely incredible and i need to read more of her

newest fictional crush: this doesn't really happen to me with characters from books sorry

book that made you cry: CHAIN-GANG ALL-STARS. I WAS SOBBING. also our wives under the sea special shout out cause it made me cry even more on my re-read

most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received): can't choose one. already posted pics of private rites and i love that cover (tho i want to get the american one as well when it comes out) so other than that

love those two a lot. there are different versions of the covers for both and i was specifically looking for those. also

something about how floppy this book is makes me happy fbsjsjsj

book that made you happy: i'm afraid that's just not the kind of books i read

what books do you need to read by the end of the year?: PRIVATE RITES. other than that i need to finish are prisons obsolete? and on earth we're briefly gorgeous (this one i'll probably get to around the same time as private rites) and i'd like to get to siren queen by nghi vo (started last month but with moving and work being busy i just had no time), martyr! by kaveh akbar, sula by toni morrison, just about anything by shirley jackson, piranesi by susanna clarke and kindred by octavia e. butler

tagging: @kdramamilfs @fugglecases @sapphicscience @chappelroans @staghunters and everyone who wants to do this!!

[angelxxfdeath]

Hi, my name is G, and I’m an aspiring writer with plenty of inspiration! I’ve always been passionate about writing fan fiction—from One Direction to 5SOS, from Jason Todd to Bruce Wayne, from Bucky Barnes to Steve Rogers. Though I haven’t published much yet, I’m ready to change that. I’m ready to step out of the shadows and share my writing with the world and see where this journey takes me.

I’m still figuring out how to approach this new chapter of my life. I’ve already planned out an entire character sheet for my original female character and even started 3D rendering her LMAO

(i'm nervous now GOODBye thiS isn't funny)

Overall, if there is anything I should know or learn, feel free to message me! I would greatly appreciate any tips to become better at what I do. Thank you.

⋆☽♡☾⋆

Right now, I'm developing my own original character for Call of Duty. My older brother introduced me to the game when I was 11, and since then, I've been hooked on FPS games. Although I haven't bought CoD: MWIII yet, I'm looking forward to playing Black Ops 6!

It's a work in progress, but I can't wait to reveal what I've been working on. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. It means a lot to me. ♡

[illfoandillfie]

Blurb Advent 2023: Day 24

This idea came to me after seeing about a hundred reels on insta about guys in grey sweatpants lmao, so i wrote it.

Warnings: minimal editing ofc, making out, mostly pretty cute but quite a lot of dick talk

Ben had stuck the heating on but it was still getting warmed up, a slight chill through the house. The two of you were rugged up on the couch with some mulled wine Ben had decided to make, a gingerbread scented candle burning in the kitchen making the whole place smell festive, and a Christmas variety show playing in the background. The tree was lit up, perhaps unnecessarily considering it wasn’t yet night but the sky outside was grey, threatening to snow. Almost a cliched holiday scene. There was a pile of presents underneath, opne you’d have to load into the car in the morning since they were mostly for parents and siblings, uncles and aunts. Tomorrow would be chaotic since you were intending to visit both his and your families – lunch with one dinner with another – but that wasn’t new. Since your very first holiday with Ben, Christmas had been like that. It only took a couple of years for the two of you to declare Christmas Eve your day. Just the two of you, getting into the holiday spirit and probably making out a little.  

Tradition dictated that you each got to open one present on Christmas Eve. Usually, the silliest thing you’d got each other. You’d save the bigger, more impressive stuff for opening with everyone else, but there was always something smaller, something goofier that you could exchange the day before. Ben sorted through the pile under the tree until he pulled out a smallish square box, wrapped up in paper with candy canes printed on it.   “Merry Christmas Eve, babe,” he said softly, handing it to you with a small kiss.   You tore into it excitedly, revealing the box which claimed to contain a galaxy projector, “Oh my god Ben! This is so cool!”  He gave you a pleased little grin, “I thought you’d like it.”  You fussed about getting it out of the box and plugging it in as Ben set to opening the package you’d given him.   “Oh score, babe! I needed new trackies” Ben said, holding up the grey sweatpants you’d bought him.  You giggled, “no problem honey.”  “Am I old? I just got ridiculously excited about what I definitely would have considered a boring present as a kid. Does that make me old?”  “Aww honey, no. They’re very hip and cool. All the hot young things are buying them for their guys. The internet tells me so.”  “What are you on about?”  “You haven’t seen those insta reels? The memes about how hot guys in grey trackies are?”  “Ummm no. Oh god maybe I really am old.”  You snorted, “If you put them on I can explain what the memes are. But no undies okay?”  “And that will make me young? Sounds crazy but okay, they look really fucking comfy.” 

In the time it took for Ben to go and change you managed to get the galaxy projector working. It wasn’t quite as good as the box implied but it was cute and you liked how it looked.  “Woah, hey, that’s pretty cool.” Ben said, stairing up at the stars on the ceiling, “I thought it was gonna be a bit shitter to be honest.”  You were placing the projector on the coffee table, laughing, but as you turned you nearly choked. The memes had been right, it was hot. You could see practically everything.   Ben was oblivious to your staring, “Babe you did so well, these are so comfy I love them.” He did a bit of a turn in them, letting you see his ass for a moment before the outline of his cock was back in front of your eyes.   “Honey why don’t you come sit,” you patted the couch beside you.  Ben seemed a little surprised but he obliged.  “In fact, why don’t you put your feet up,” you scooted off the couch so Ben had space to stretch out.  “Uhhh, yeah alright. Don’t you want to sit too though?”  “Oh I will,” you let Ben get settled before pouncing, straddling him and leaning in to kiss him.  Ben hummed into the kiss, his arms automatically wrapping around you and pulling you close.   “Not sure what that was about,” he said softly when you finally broke apart, “but I’m not complaining. Just tell me what I did to get you so horny, so I can do it again.”  “Did you not look at yourself in a mirror when you changed into these pants?”  “No,”  “So you didn’t realise how visible your dick is?”  “Is it?”  You laughed, “This isn’t helping make you seem less old. That’s what the memes are about and I can tell you they’re spot on. I’ve been staring at your cock since you changed.”  “Oh, wel-”  “Shh, don’t say anything else, it’ll only distract from making out.”  Ben groaned as you rocked forward, his cock pressed against your cunt, “Yeah okay, good plan. 

[corvid-language-library]

2024 Goals Monthly Check-In

I actually didn't do this last month because I was ill all of February and didn't make much/any progress with anything so I felt it was kinda pointless 😅 Let's see where I'm at now!

Japanese

1) Reach ~N3 level - I've not really been focusing on this so much. I've started using HelloTalk again and occasionally trying to learn a little new N3 grammar/kanji/vocab, but I should probably study in a more focused way.

2) Learn 10 songs by heart to a level where I could sing them at karaoke - Oh yeah I haven't worked on this at all, I kinda forgot it was a thing lmao

3) Finish reading another book of short stories - No progress made whoops. I try to read articles on Todai/NHK Easy a bit more but I've not touched my short story book.

4) Finish both Minna No Nihongo books - I'm about halfway through unit 11, so I'm a little behind but not too much. Hoping to finish unit 11 tonight and unit 12 at some point this week, but we'll see what happens!

Norwegian

1) Read at least 2 books in Norwegian - Not started yet

2) Maintain an overall B2/C1 level - I think I'm maintaining, but I need to immerse more for sure

3) Finish Enjoy Norwegian textbook - I've completed unit 2 so I'm a little behind where I wanted to be, but I should be able to catch up relatively easily.

Life in Japan Goals

As with last time, I'm just gonna focus on the goals where I've made progress rather than listing all 11. So:

1) Get my hair cut - Did it! And it wasn't as scary as I thought it would be :D

4) Have a 10-minute conversation with a native speaker in Japanese that’s not an italki lesson - I managed to chat with the hairdresser, so I can definitely say I did this!

6) Go to the dentist - I've booked an appointment and I'll be going next Monday. Absolutely terrified :D

7) Go to a prefecture I haven’t been to before - I went to Tochigi last weekend!

11) Be able to point to every prefecture on a map and name their capital cities - I can still more or less do this, but I sometimes mix up some prefectures or can't quite remember a capital

Non-language

1) Read 36 books - I've read 11/36 books, which means I'm 3 books ahead of schedule.

2) Complete a first draft of a novel manuscript - no progress made lol

3) Comfortable two-block oversplit with back bend - my oversplits are there but they feel very tight and not comfortable, so I need to work more on them.

4) Consistently hold a handstand for 5 seconds - I can barely balance on my hands at all atm lmao but I'll keep trying

5) Noticeably improve my demi pointe - I'm using the strength in my feet a lot more than I used to but I'm not getting much higher. I'll keep at it!

Health/diet goals under the cut:

Diet & health goals

1) Tackle my diet soda and sugar addictions - I've come a long way with the binge eating! I bought a multipack of chocolate marshmallow biscuits and managed to just take one with me to work every day instead of sitting and binging the whole lot. And right now I have a family-sized bag of mini eggs in my cupboard and I'm managing to eat a controlled set portion each day. I still mess up my diet sometimes, but I'm very happy with how I'm doing!

Diet soda is still a huge problem though lol

2) Slim down enough that none of my clothes are tight anymore - I look and feel SO much better about myself! For ages I've not wanted to dress up nicely because I felt like I looked frumpy or chubby or shapeless in my nice outfits. But when I was packing for Utsunomiya, I tried on all my cute outfits and I thought they looked good! I still want to lose a bit more so that I can see my abs, but I'm really happy with my progress here.

[thatfreshi]

Dancing (Markiplier x fem!reader)

You and Mark have... a weird history. And it finally comes to a boil at your friends’ bridal party. Lots and LOTS of sexual tension, fluffy ending. (This was really out of my comfort zone and I'm kinda unsure about it but this concept was TAUNTING my brain so I had to write it LMAO)

It’s the night of your friend’s bachelor party. Well, really an entire bridal group party. You’ve known the couple about to get married for years now, and they hated the whole ‘gendered parties thing,’ and they also hated the idea of being left out of any festivities. This entire group of people you knew, were the work hard and play even harder type, and so are you. Successful, living it up in New York, it’s not often you make a trip all the way to Cali. You were putting the final touches on your look, earrings, a reapplication of your lipstick to make sure nothing rubbed off, and you were ready to go. The hotel was nice: a large bed, a nice view, a huge bathroom. After all, you always booked the best. Before you went to put your shoes on, your phone buzzed.

“Mark’s going btw.”

It was the bride-to-be, giving you some information you wish you had hours earlier. You see, you and Mark have a complicated relationship. You’ve vaguely and yet intimately known each other for years, having met at some party one of your friends threw. No one throws you off your game, but Mark gets close. Over the past couple years, you’ve kept in touch, occasionally seeing each other at events and getting a little sloppy on the dance floor, ignoring each other across the room, leaving with other people just to get under each other’s skin, the list goes on and on. Since you live across the country you text and call sometimes, either some SOS in the middle of the night when one of you isn’t doing too hot or pictures of your hookups just to push the envelope a little further. You’re not sure why you hadn’t considered the fact that he would be at this party, as your social groups in California often overlap.

“Okay.”

A simple response despite a complex array of things going on in your mind. Between you two it’s always games, dancing around each other and yet never quite fitting together. You’ve even been in videos a couple times, and the fans get a little rabid. Of course, you’re much more civil out of the nightlife scene, but they still pick up on the tension.

‘So… when are they gonna kiss?’

‘OMFG please have her in more videos.’

‘Maybe they should get a room.’

The comments flood anything you feature in, and you two just ignore them. It adds to the game, having some kind of audience. Funnily enough, the two of you haven’t ever kissed, never done anything more than get a little handsy, and yet it was exhilarating, wondering when you’d see each other again. Perhaps it was a little twisted, but you both were having fun. And yet, since you met, neither of you has had a serious relationship. You two are the only constant in each other’s lives.

You finally stop thinking and leave the hotel room, quickly leaving with a personal driver. In the back of the car, you take out your phone for a quick snap of your look, sending it to Mark shortly after, saying nothing more. You read the ‘seen’ and then put your phone on silent, and quickly place it back in your bag. You’re lucky your friend texted you, because you have an upper hand on the night now. Sure, the night was supposed to be about the couple, but they knew what they were doing by inviting both of you. It was going to be fun to watch, for all parties involved.

After about a thirty-minute drive you arrived. The location was new, and very popular, and they bought it out for the night. The concept was some kind of nightclub/mock bar mix, where they only sold mocktails (with the occasional medicinal addition). Funnily enough, you and Mark had nothing added to your drinks the entire night. Luckily he didn’t have to worry about any alcohol being slipped into something considering the entire facility was dry.

“Oh my god hi y/n! Was your flight alright?”

“It was amazing. And if it wasn’t, you and I both know that wouldn’t slide with me.”

You and the bride laugh, and she leads you into the club. It’s decorated spectacularly, the lights are well-done yet not blinding. Her fiancee comes up soon after, and the three of you talk for a little. You were a little early, mainly because you always like to scope out a scene.

“So, you guys invited him. This part of the party favors?”

“Well, we figured you two will end up stealing the show and that will be entertaining for everyone, us especially, and it is our party after all.”

She wasn’t wrong. After getting yourself something to drink and catching up with a couple other guests, your attention is quickly taken away. He’s arrived, looking nice as usual. You immediately look away, pretending like you didn’t notice. The conversation with one of the party-goers continues as you two talk about how you met the couple. Soon after he walks past you, brushing your arm. He looks back at you, giving you a glance up and down. You meet his eyes, staring at him while you take another sip. Soon after he’s swooped up by the couple, and he reverts back to normal. It was magical to watch. This dance you’ve been dancing for this long, it’s particular, there are rules, there are steps. You and Mark, you’ve always understood each other despite never laying it out for each other. It’s like your brains are synced, your bodies intertwined. The train of thought is interrupted by the couple making an announcement on the stage.

“Hello everyone!”

There’s plenty of cheering in the club. You keep your eyes on him a couple tables ahead of you as he listens to the speech. They go on about love and some sappy shit, and then say that the DJ will start the music soon. It seems selfish. Don’t get me wrong, these are your friends and you do care about them, but as they told you, they knew what they were doing. You turn to the guest you were speaking to, some guy who works at a bank, apparently has good connections to some dealers, and that’s pretty much the only reason he’s invited to all these things.

“You wanna dance?”

He hesitates, thinking about the interaction he just watched between you and Mark, but ultimately decides ‘why not?’

You lead him out to the dance floor, and you’re the first people out there. Mark doesn’t make a move. He’s usually slower to act than you are, which allows him to watch the fun for a while. As you and this bank guy start dancing it goes from friendly to a little less than friendly fast, and you make eye contact with Mark the entire time. At some point, after the dance floor has filled with quite a few more people, he sets his drink down and gives your dance partner a look, cutting in.

“So, we’re doing this tonight huh?”

He spins you, almost in an ironic way, treating you for a moment like some kind of royalty. He pulls you back to him.

“You do know that’s why we’re here right? The bride and groom wanted some free entertainment.”

You jokingly curtsy, giving his hand a kiss. He chuckles.

“Well then, let's give the couple what they want.”

He whispers sharply and leaves a kiss on your neck, going to find his next pawn. Although it seems mean, the two of you have only ever involved willing parties in this game of yours. Mark quickly finds some other woman. Instead of giving him the attention he so clearly wants, you find someone as well, having as much fun as you can while scheming your next move. For the next hour or so you work on making each other as jealous as possible, and boy does it work. Things proceed to get nastier with each person you bring to the dance floor, even some unspeakable things. At some point you look at Mark again, his brow slightly furrowed. You’re getting to him, and you decide to top off the glass.

“Follow me.”

You and your current stranger head to the bathroom. When you lock the door, he tries to kiss you.

“Woah, uh, no. This is just you doing me a favor. I need us to wait in here for a little bit.”

“But… why would you ask me to come in here if we’re just gonna stand here.”

“Because you’re doing me a favor, and if you do this for me I just might do a favor for you.”

You wink at him, and the two of you spend at least twenty minutes until you emerge, messing up your hair a little before you go back out to the floor. You blow him a kiss and return back to your table, getting another drink.

“That was quick. Not even trying to be subtle tonight?”

Mark comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist. You take another sip.

“Whatever could you be talking about?”

You turn, looking up at him and batting your eyes. He scoffs, and soon enough the couple come back to the floor to announce a group activity.

“So, I have a basket of everyone’s names here, and whichever two I pull together are going to do a duet dance for all of us. So, if you haven’t been out here yet tonight you better get ready.”

You and Mark don’t move, sitting in the comfort for a little bit. He gives you the occasional kiss on your neck or behind your ear as they read off names.

“Mark and y/n! Now isn’t that gonna be fun?”

The bride-to-be laughs and a couple others in the crowd join in.

“She set that up.”

He places another kiss gently.

“I know.”

Eventually all the duos are listed off and everyone is given a couple minutes to warm up. Mark wanders off somewhere and you just keep nursing your drink, mentally preparing yourself. The first couple goes, and it’s fun to watch, considering most of the guests have two left feet. When it’s time for you and Mark to go there are whispers. It’s always been a hot topic in your circles. There have even been bets on the ‘will they won’t they?’ of the whole thing. The song is randomly chosen, but it doesn’t matter. Like I said, nothing throws you off your game. The song begins, you two pick up on the beat, and it’s like you’ve rehearsed it for years. Step, step, feet always in the same formation. He dips you at some point, quickly pulling you back. This number of yours spans the entire dance floor, getting more sensual as the song continues. There are whistles from the audience.

“I bet you’re ecstatic right now. You love when eyes are on you.”

The music is loud enough that no one can hear you talking.

“Of course, but especially yours.”

You step chest to chest, eyes locked in. You step away again, spinning out. The song is almost over now, and you come back close to one another.

“Fuck.”

He mutters to himself.

“What’s wrong? Worried you’ll misstep?”

“Me? Misstep? No.” 

For the last few seconds, you throw taunts at each other, until the silence comes in and you two stop, breathing heavily, feeling the heat of the moment and the heat of one another. There’s applause, and the two of you stare at each other for what feels like a millennium. He leans in for a moment, brushing your hair out of your face, and your lips finally meet. Even more applause roars, and you pull back, pulling him outside.

“Well, seems like those two are gonna have a good night!”

One of the guests taunts you as you two walk outside. You’re at the side of the building, and it’s quiet out.

“I’m done playing.”

He pulls you close and you kiss again, making out against some fucking club after making each other jealous at some fucking party. None of it matters past this moment. You mutter longing phrases in between, wondering why the two of you started this to begin with, why you were so into the mind games. You felt soft, like you were being vulnerable, but it didn’t matter. When the two of you disconnect there’s a sense of relief in the air. You just sit in it for a while, smiling at each other like idiots. 

“You want to go back to my place?”

You nod. For some reason he insists on driving himself despite having the money for someone to just do it for him. The two of you get into his car, and the tension dies down. You kick your feet up on the dashboard. It’s silent for the first few minutes as he drives through night-time LA. The lights of the cars passing, the perfect temperature of the A/C, it’s all just peaceful. It leads you to finally be open and honest.

“You were right. We should be done doing this.”

At first he’s a little shocked, taking your affirmation the wrong way.

“We should just fucking do it. I’m tired of chasing you and your handsome ass around.”

You two laugh.

“You know y/n, no one else gets me like this. It’s just you.”

You smirk.

“I know.”

“I’m serious. I have a job I can leverage from anywhere. Let’s stop playing, like you said. We’d be perfect.”

“So why didn’t we just do that from the beginning?”

“Because the chase is fun.”

“No one ‘chases’ someone like this for this long.”

You pause, thinking as you stare at the city lights.

“Maybe I thought the magic was just in this little fake world we made. Like we were some actors just performing.”

“And yet you call me anytime you’re having a hard time? We’ve always been special to each other, I think you were just scared.”

Maybe he was right. You’ll never really know, but at least you were onto the next phase. In your gazing out the window, you spot a Sonic.

“We should get ice cream.”

He looks at you for a moment in between focusing on the road.

“W- ice cream?”

“Yeah, have an ice cream date like stupid teenagers or something.”

Mark smiles. Soon enough he’s turning off the road so you two can get some ice cream, sitting in the Sonic parking lot and laughing over your antics over the years.

“Maybe I just needed to grow up a little.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“You told me earlier that I was probably just scared. Maybe I was, but I think I just needed to realize what mattered. And I think tonight, looking into your eyes while we were dancing, I realized you mattered more than everything else.”

The air of innocence, the smell of sugar, the smiles in between sentences, that was the real rush you wanted this whole time, you just didn’t know it. Now you do. Needless to say, you do end up going back to Mark’s place, and you surprisingly end up just cuddling the whole night. And sure enough, you end up going to the wedding as a couple. The bride is a little sad that she doesn’t get to watch you guys dance around each other, but she’s happy that she won the bet of ‘will they.’

[lenabloo]

Period is definitely about to happen, so that’s that cleared up.

In other news I cannot use a walking foot to save my life OTL

I currently own (at least) four (4) walking feet and not one of them fits on my two main machines (a Sears Kenmore Zigzag and a Singer Golden Touch & Sew (which I know is not a good machine but I grew up sewing on it and I love it)). I’ve yet to try any of them on the machine I got from @dollsahoy and the idea of trying any of them on the antique Singer I have from my great grandfather is frankly very funny to me (I /think/ the machine works but I’ve never once tried it). I suppose next I could try them on the Necchi machine my mom got from her mother.

Also I do actually have a serger lmao it’s just that I used it like one time after I bought it and the blade broke and I bought a replacement but now it’s been years and I still haven’t put the new blade on… >_>;;;

All of this just to sew one doll sweatshirt 9_9 it’s kind of pissing me off lol because I know this thing will take no time to make, but it’s been such a long time since I tried sewing knits/stretch fabrics that I FORGOT how impossible it is. I think the last time was when I cosplayed as the white ranger from Jettoman, and I actually did use a walking foot on my Touch&Sew, but it didn’t actually fit the machine and it was pretty ehhhh and at the time I was just like ‘whatever I just need to finish this cosplay’ but I can’t figure out how I did it back then??? And again it didn’t work /well/

Whatever I WILL figure this out

(Advice is certainly welcome tho)

[beyourownanchor6]

Hiii! It's okay, I assumed you were busy enjoying your vacation.

Yeah she kinda disappeared after teen wolf, didn't she? Dylan o'brien blew up as a movie star, tyler posey got onlyfans, tyler hoeclin got superman and lois, dylan sprayberry got some movies, but allison just... kinda vanished. I haven't seen her in forever. Yeah teen wolf just plays by its own rules and i love it even if it frustrates me.

Oh i love himbos!! And you're right, Stiles is a himbo! And yay for multishipping. I do lots of multishipping too. Sterek, steo, steter, sciles... i usually don't do straight ships tho.

It was wild. And I unfortunately was a die hard harry potter fan. Still am, but at least i have the decency to be ashamed of it now lmao. The glee fandom was wild. I got a lot of love and support from the glee fandom, but also death threats! And don't even get me started on the social justice issues and how they were approached. I once said I shipped Klaine (Kurt/Blaine) and immediatelly got hit with "stop invading women's spaces" for it. Mind you, klaine is a GAY MALE SHIP.

I agree with you there, that does suck. Thank heavens for the internet and video calls.

And thank you! I hope you had fun on your holiday. And i'm okay! I bought reading glasses this week, it's amazing how much easier reading and writing is now.

As for today's question: what other fandoms are you into?

tumblr totally ate this notification 😩 (this hellsite—derogatory 🤣) hope you enjoyed your week!

it does seem that way. i will say i follow certain actors/actresses more than others from there, so maybe i just missed her being in things, but i feel like i would’ve seen something with everything tw i engage in lol. this also reminded me i still need to watch the last episode from last season of superman 😂 i think i’ve seen almost everything dylan has been in lol. and i’ve seen a lot of holland and cody’s other projects.

yea i just kinda ship all over with tw tbh lol. i don’t go to every ship, but i definitely have a lot!

i know a lot of ppl who are harry potter fans, so you’re not alone lol. i’ve heard about the gleee fandom and it definitely sounds like it was toxic 😬 but ig that comes with most fandoms lol. i watched a documentary recently about all the glee actors that have since passed; definitely interesting.that is a WILD take for that ship. damn

yes, at least we have ways to communicate even if we have to live miles and miles away.

i did thank you! i feel like i spent this last week recovering and getting back into things lol. woo love that for you! now you can do all the things.

oh gosh, so many 😂 i’ve kind of lost beans for 911 as a whole lately unfortunately, so i’ve been going back into my other fandoms. mm so i just recently got into the bikeriders fandom; amazing movie if you haven’t yet seen. i also just rewatched stranger things for the nth time and got back on that bullshit lol. of course there’s teen wolf. and i’ll just list some others i’m into: shameless/animal kingdom/obx/oth/the rookie/heartstopper/rwrb/shadowhunters/spn/ various marvel things annddd idk i’m sure i’m missing more 😅 what about you?

[falliblefabrial]

Mid-Year Book Freak Out

@morhath tagged me, they have read so much more than me lmao, in part because I have been distracted by NADDPOD for two months

Number of books you’ve read so far: 46

Best book you’ve read so far in 2024:

Tied - Chain Gang All Stars was. Really good. Along with that, I was on a Sarah Pinsker kick in march and April, I will give Sooner or Later Everything Falls Into the Sea the top spot here of her works.

Best sequel you’ve read so far in 2024: 

Ok it was a prequel but Sheine Lende by Darcie Little Badger was amazing

New release you haven’t read yet but want to: 

Mirrored Heavens by Rebecca Roanhorse! I am in line at the library

Most anticipated release for the second half of the year: , A Sorceress Comes to Call by T. Kingfisher (copying this from @morhath). The Masquerades of Spring by Ben Aaronovitch

Biggest surprise favorite new author (debut or new to you): 

Sarah Pinsker - I had read one of her short stories last year (Go read where oaken hearts do gather RIGHT now) but I hadn't read any of her long form stuff before this year and i absolutely love it.

Newest fictional crush:

I want to hang out with every T Kingfisher protagonist I meet

Book that made you cry: 

2: A Stroke of the Pen by Terry Pratchett. I cried because I had been holding out on reading it. And now I have read it. And there's nothing left. (Nothing but to reread, which I have been)

Most beautiful book you’ve bought so far this year (or received): 

I got a copy of The Book of Dragons (Edited by Jonathan Strahan) and it's illustrated by Rovina Cai, whose art I absolutely adore — She also did Sheine Lende HOWEVER that still can't compete with my beautiful gorgeous showstopping Daphne Press Sabriel series books..... next one is out for preorder TOMORROW (illustrated by the ever amazing Tommy Arnold)

Book that made you happy: 

Someone You Can Build a Nest in, by John Wiswell - He's a friend and I was double happy, both that the book is so good and that it's doing so well!

What books do you need to read by the end of the year?: 

well I have to read The Saint of Bright Doors and like 4 YA books in the next two weeks before hugo voting closes lmao But also... I want to finally read Godkiller by Hannah Kaner because my friends did it for their book club AND FINALLY I have been reading a TON of Beauty and the Beast retellings, so more of those

Tagging... @eldritchhedgehog, @bojanus, @queenanne1532, @make-like-a-tree-and-leaf, and @artax-risen

[melonpalooza]

As someone who just bought and read the Lost day special it was really cool! However I am not going to spoil anything in case you haven’t read it yet :3

However when you do read it, (if you haven’t already) I would love to hear you thoughts/take on it!

okok sorry anon this took a while bc i wasnt able to read it before!!

AND LIKE!!

IT'S SO GOOD?!?

I'M SO HAPPY?!?

IT'S SO FUCKING CUTE?? SMTH I DIDNT REALIZE I WOULD SAY ABOUT RONINVERSE????

odyn has my heart. they all do.

spoilers under cut:

things i did not expect to be in lost days:

the twin towers asdkjhasdas. april confirmed to be 60+ (~12ish years(?) after Mikey's death)

star wars confirmed canon in roninverse. good to know:

donnieeee. Can't believe he has "She Blinded Me with Science" on a playlist. Who am I kidding. I do. I believe that.

Odynnnn

Casey going on a date? AAAAh that's so cute!!

Also I'm not the only one that adores Odyn:

Adorable!!! SO CUTE!!

Odyn ate the choclate off the donuts lmao. Yi learns about ACAB. (joke.)

Uno is a little army nerd bc ofc he is.

i still dont know what that ability is? just camo?

This was so sweet agh AGH!!!

[hecate-spawn]

wait i want to hear your project sekai vocal ranking.. if you still haven’t figured it out that’s okay but what do you have so far?

By the time you get this I'll have probably figured it out so don't worry. So from least favourite to favourite is how I'm ranking this. Sorry this to so long it was hard and I was multi tasking <3

Also I don't have Tumblr at school lmao

Warning: unpopular opinions and a long ass post

20. Akito Shinonome

I'm just not a fan of his vocals tbh. Like they're not bad they're ok. However he sounds fine in cinema and hitsuji ga ippiki. He was also fine in ame to petra

19. Toya Aoyagi

I like his voice slightly more than Akito. He sounded really good in AnToya children record and ToyaHane junky night town with Kohane. His ame to Petra cover was fine, probably my favourite solo of his, and he sounds fine in cinema and hitsuji ga ippiki.

18. Nene Kusanagi

I'd rather listen to Nene then these two however I'm not the biggest fan of her voice. Random note, when her VA was singing live my immediate reaction was "wow that is Nene's voice coming out of her mouth." but anyway Nene is too nasally for me. She sounds fine in her alts I guess, but again her voice is very nasally. However she sounds amazing in glory steady go and Goodbbye sengen with wxs. She's higher than Akito and Toya because I think she adds to the song when she's singing with everyone and when she's singing with Emu

17. Tsukasa Tenma

I like his Literary nonsense cover more than Rui's. However that's the only cover I'd buy. Not bad but not the best. Like Nene he adds to the vocals with the group and him and Rui make a pretty good duo when they sing together ex: fixer, Literary nonsense. Listening to Mr showtime reminded me why I put him here. He doesn't always sound great by himself. (However all his commissioned songs are bangers for no reason) also you should all listen to his cover of the world hasn't started yet with Emu it's really good

16. Rui Kamishiro

I like Rui's voice. His as you like it cover was one of the first ones I got (the wxs group as you like it wasn't that good) and it's good. Unlike Nene and Tsukasa and the others he sounds pretty good on his own and with the others. However he doesn't like, I don't want to say have the range, but Tsukasa's nonsense bungaku cover was better because he was able to sound clear and bring energy to it. Rui doesn't have the same energy Kasa does and sometimes he doesn't have the clarity which is why his voice is more suited for songs like fixer

15. Minori Hanasato

I almost put her higher than Emu. I like Minori's voice. It's bright and cheerful and idol like. I like her ai no material she sounds absolutely adorable. And her vampire is very nice too. I don't think she deserves 20-18th place on ranking charts however there are better vocals which is why she rounds out our bottom five. I love you Minori so I'm sorry

14. Emu Otori

Emu my baby! Honestly I want to put her higher but I can't. I actually love Emu's vocals a lot. They're always so fun and high energy. Her singing is amazing because HOLY FUCK THAT IS HIGH PITCHED. I understand the grievances about how her voice can get grating but that's only if you listen to it for like, an hour non stop. Also we all talk about her telecaster B-boy cover but never her the world hasn't started yet cover with Tsukasa. She goes lower than in telecaster and it sounds so nice like?! It's SO good. And her positive dance time cover is amazing as well and we gotta talk about her alien alien cover. Best one I've heard. Her voice doesn't go crazy high but she still has all that Emu energy. I think I've bought more covers of her than any other character tbh

13. Kohane Azusawa

Listening to Akina's covers honestly helped put Kohane this high and made me enjoy her voice more. Her voice is similar to Minori's but she goes higher because her voice has this soft like quality (her into the night cover) and it's evolved a lot since the beginning. She sounds great in hitsuji ga ippiki (I may have a slight obsession with this song) and in most songs. I love Akina's overdose cover and I'd describe her voice as lovely. Also her rapping in wa-wa-world is very fun

12. Airi Momoi

I like Airi's voice. Her Romeo to Cinderella cover is great and one of the first I bought in the game but her real MVP alt is marshmary. She goes so high and it sounds so amazing I don't think a lot of people could pull that off. Her voice is kind of a mix of Minori's and Haruka's in the sense of it's high but has this grounding feel to it. But this is as high as she goes because there are other voices I enjoy more

11. Honami Mochizuki

I love all of Honami's covers. Yes, even her Stella cover. I actually re-listened to it today (along with other characters) and I enjoyed it. Her voice is amazing (all of l/n is actually) and like, it's so warm and soft. It's like Kanade's in that sense. Speaking of Kanade

10. Kanade Yoisaki

Kanade you'll always be famous. Her covers are so good. Most emotional voice in project sekai. There's so much pain in her reborn alt and her MKDR cover OMFG- it sounds like she's going to cry it's amazing. Her hated by life itself cover was so good the Devs gave her the full song to sing by herself. People complain she doesn't have enough power in her voice but her voice isn't supposed to be powerful the may Mizuki or An's is. It's soft but delivers emotion. Also her composing the future is the closest thing you'll get to power from her

9. Mafuyu Asahina

I LOVE Mafuyu's voice. Like Kanade's voice it tends to be soft, and carries emotion at times. (Also Mafuyu has the best event songs) also her voice is so haunting. Like her cutlery cover just sounds very haunting. I'm sorry but that's the best way to describe her voice. It's soft and haunting. However that doesn't mean it doesn't have power. Ussewa and bug are two prime examples of this. It starts off soft but changes to powerful and it's so good

8. Saki Tenma

Saki's voice is so unique to everyone else's! Or at least I find that to be the case. (also has the best event songs) and her from Tokyo has so much energy it's like sunshine and rainbows and makes me want to cry in a good way. Her voice is sunshine and she does this thing with her voice making everything sound so clear and lovely. I just love her voice, she doesn't have a bad cover. Also I find her teratera cover interesting because I think (?) It's not supposed to be a happy song but the way she sings it is like, the way you'd sing a happy song but doesn't have the emotion behind it. Lmao sorry that's weird

7. Shiho Hinomori

I love Shiho's voice. No bad covers. She has a very strong voice that's low most of the time but can go high. And yes I like her Stella cover. But her kagerou daze cover is amazing and her cover of lost ones weeping as well. I like her voice and I know why people want her to be the main vocalist of Leo/need.

6. Ichika Hoshino

Listening to six trillion years and overnight story as I type this. Ichika slayed actually. She sang fast and clearly and her voice is very pleasant to the ears. She it's "nothing special" but I like it a lot. Sure her voice was high in lost one's weeping and bokura mada underground but I still think it's good. Also her night sky patrol of tomorrow cover was absolutely amazing

5. An Shiraishi

I've loved her voice since forever. Her beat eater cover was fire (and made me extra gay) her Odo cover is everything and i love how she sounds in machi, beat eater, awake now, hitsuji ga ippiki just I love her singing voice it's so An. It's unique, it's good, it's power just <3 and how she sounds in pheles is everything. So much so any time the bad dogs cover anything, my immediate reaction is "It would be better if An sang." I hate to not put her higher however this is top five and I can't have that much character bias. I do have VA bias tho lol. Jiena's cover of ifuudoudou also made me gayer lol.

4. Ena Shinonome

I love her voice and Va. I love her belting in infinitely grey, I love the way she sounds in MKDR and her lower alt is amazing. Ena is an singer and that's way she's so high (and bonus points because I like Minori Suzuki's junky night town cover) also Ena sounds good with everyone

3. Shizuku Hinomori

Shizuku's voice is soft and elegant. The best way I can describe it is her wedding card. It's soft in Shojo rei, powerful in the earth's final confession and into the night, cute in metamo re:born and emotional in color of drops. the way she sings is seamless and beautiful I could listen to it forever. Also her solo of milk crown on sonncheka is everything

2. Haruka Kiritani

I was debating on whether or not Shizuku should be here or Haruka, but I decided Haruka because her voice is stronger, she's clearer. I also find she has greater range and her voice is grounded. Like Shizuku she can sound cute, powerful, emotional, beautiful. Also her If alt vocal is everything to me. But yeah, I think Haruka only sounds slightly better than Shizuku

Mizuki Akiyama

Mizuki is every positive thing I've said about Haruka but like, 10x better. Mizuki is easy to hear, understand and they sound fucking amazing. They can do soft like Kanadetomosusora and give me your night. They can sing fast like in venom and they sound both masculine and feminine like in lower. Also their ussewa alt went SO hard. they sang so well in venom with and without Ena. Also their high notes. Example? Otome dissection. Bocca Della verita. No matter what they sing they sound amazing. Their voice is also very distinct. Tbh just listen to their venom alt it's so amazing

Ok that's it. Sorry to the wxs fans and your welcome to the Leo/need fans

And I'm so sorry Lav for taking so fucking long to answer

[lumiereandcogsworth]

tagged by @thavron thank you my dear :)

1. are you named after anyone? yes! my great-grandma lydia. we share a birthday AND she died on her birthday exactly one year before i was born. a very fun and slightly spooky anecdote

2. when was the last time you cried? last night, i got a very angsty fic idea and as usual i somehow manage to put myself into the character’s shoes so easily and i was crying a character’s tears. last time i cried my own tears was the night before i think, or something like that. idk, i cry a lot lmao.

3. do you have kids? no but my build-a-bear stitch IS my son

4. what sports do you play / have you played? i played basketball from ages 6-17 and it was basically my entire personality. haven’t done any sports since then and probably won’t, though i’m trying to find some kind of exercise that could actually be fun :/ i loved rock climbing in college but there’s no wall near where i live. but anyway i’ll figure it out

5. do you use sarcasm? noOooOoo i would Neverrrrrrrr

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people? i genuinely have no idea, i don’t really look at people. maybe their voice/the way they speak? or their shoes cuz that’s where i be looking lmao

7. what’s your eye color? i don’t knoowww. blue green grey. depends on what i’m wearing, sometimes the blue really pops. but sometimes it doesn’t look like my eyes are blue at all so. i think they’re mostly grey.

8. scary movies or happy endings? once again this question makes no sense because a lot of scary movies (most?? nearly all????) HAVE happy endings. but anyway to quote the fairy fauna from sleeping beauty, i just LOVE happy endings :”)

9. any talents? well i like to think i’m an alright writer! i actually Know i’m a good writer at least when it comes to school essays because that was always where i got the most praise. but i think my fics are pretty good too!! writing’s just always come naturally to me. other than that idk, i’m pretty good at memorizing stuff when i want to.

10. where were you born? pacific northwest babey!!!! (northwestern united states)

11. what are your hobbies? writing and day dreaming are like, my two staples. i’m striving to make 2024 the year i start being more crafty though. i have a couple projects brewing and i have a batb 2017 coloring book that i just bought some markers for to start coloring more. in the future i’d like to try crochet and embroidery but i don’t wanna overwhelm myself. one step at a time

12. do you have any pets? no :( i’m just an auntie to a lot of pets. the one i see most often is my brother’s shiba inu, mishka. he’s my little baby nephew and i wanna eat his face off. but anyway i’d like a cat or two some day! probably whenever i move out of my parents’ house. (which i’m not in a big rush to do, i like it here :3)

13. how tall are you? somewhere between 5’5 and 5’6. but with shoes definitely 5’6

14. favorite subject in school? elementary to high school it was probably english/creative writing, since i’ve always had a knack for it. in college it was my two majors, comparative ethnic studies and history. my favorite CES classes were “race and racism in pop culture” and “blackness in film.” my favorite history classes were “history of the late middle ages” (shout out to my girl joan of arc!) and “history of ancient greece” which was my absolute favorite course in all four years of university. it was actually one i happened to take in the quarantine year (my junior year of college) but it still slapped even despite being over zoom. that professor was awesome and i was so obsessed with the material, i kept most of the books and even asked him for more recommendations. (haven’t read them all yet, but i like seeing them on my bookshelf lol)

15. dream job? whatever ends up supporting my desires in life, and brings me at least some semblance of joy. the job i have right now is actually really awesome. it has a couple downsides but overall i’m extremely happy with my job and it feels great :)

tagging: @gayassbenaffleck @freakwiththeknifecollection @gavotteangel @roberrtphilip @ariiiloves @autumnrose11 @ginnyweatherby @enchanted-keys @romeoandjulietyouwish @japhan2024 @splendiferous-bitch + anyone else can say i tagged them :))

[questionablepastries]

Personal life frustration ramblings (super long)

I don’t think my coworkers understand the ramifications my personality took as a result of basically 26 years of poverty with zero social life (and therefore no social skills), and never ever leaving my house. I was asked earlier by coworkers why a year into this job I haven’t put in any vacation days yet and I told them it’s because I want to save money, (my lease ends soon and moving is expensive) but really it’s because my brain is on pure survival mode 24/7 I always think the rug is gonna be pulled out from under me and I’ll go back to living with my mom and worrying about school (tests, quizzes, homework, succeeding — if I didn’t pass my classes I’d have to pay back the government aid program giving me money) and tying my success in school with my self worth & a way out of poverty/being the only hope my mom has for a comfortable retirement. We had lived off of food stamps and medicare (Medicaid?) insurance for so long I thought we were always going to be like that. In fact right now I’m making more than my mom has and I think I have more money saved than she does. What freaks me out is the realization that I never ever left my place or bought things for fun like clothes — all I ever did was thrift shop clothes, occasionally getting new things to wear but even so. I think the only thing I was allowed to splurge on was videogames and even then it wasn’t often that I got a game just like one or two every year which is what drove me to be a completionist when it came to those because I couldn’t exactly leave and go out?? My moms overprotectiveness and my own social skills led me to being a shut in for like . Well to this day I guess. I always think back to a school acquaintance coming up to me at community college and just really loudly asking “ARE YOU A SHUT IN?” Or something very similar to that I can’t remember properly it’s been almost a six years I think, at the time though I didn’t exactly have the mentality to respond to that and didn’t really give a proper response. and it was only through forcing myself to take public speaking and holding several jobs that I finally learned how to properly hold a conversation much less find a speaking voice to respond to normal things with. Took me 24 years to learn how to talk normally lol

That being said, tearing up about it as I type this isn’t solving anything but lately, um. Im realizing how shitty a majority of my life was, & that I just kinda repressed all of it severely as I focused so hard on succeeding in school that I finally now have the luxury to reflect on it now that I’m out of my survival mode mentality. I never thought to have aspirations in fact my pure motivation for succeeding at school was job security and money and that was it. I even told the guys in charge of letting students into the super competitive program at my university (we were a graduating class of 12) that the reason I pursued the program isn’t some lofty thing like saving lives or whatever. My main motivation is money, and job security, that’s it. Surprised to this day they let me into the program with that being my reasoning during the interview lmao.

My “family” is just my mom and my sister. That’s it. That’s another thing I can’t relate to anyone ever with. People talking about their aunts and uncles and cousins and nephews and grandfathers on their dad side and grandma this and family group chat that it makes me fucking sick with envy. But also hate towards people with those kind of relationships because I never had that luxury. my mom, sister and I never not once ever got this kind of familial support neither emotionally or financially. In fact, my only interactions with my family worth mentioning is the trauma I had that I carry with me to this day when a majority of my aunts called me retarded behind my back so often I still believe it to some degree to this day despite having my current job and a bachelors (a degree none of those name callers even have) . I only associate my extended family as a large group of indifferent people and they’re all essentially strangers, to be honest they make me sick and I’m glad I’m not in contact with them because from how my mom talks about them they sound toxic as hell plus a lot of my aunts that were rude to me are just married into wealth (and married into military lmaooo)

Point is, I can’t relate to conversations my coworkers have either on televisions shows that aired in the past on the cable I never had (I never pick up the references), can’t relate to them on their family plans and trips to who knows where or , I don’t even have the communication skills to keep up with them. I still stutter and slur my words from time to time (not to mention there were also these other coworkers that quit some months ago that also called me retarded behind my back but not due to anything I was doing behavior wise (I worked out those behaviors by then and I like to think I’m mostly normal passing) but mostly because I was new to the field and unfamiliar with a lot of how work .. uh..worked…) thankfully those name calls from them only stung a little and not as much as it would have in my pre teen years when I was also called that by my aunts.

I don’t feel too bad about being essentially unapproachable though, I’m still awkward and my general disposition/demeanor makes people my own age not want to interact with me, I still struggle to hold conversations I really do. but I know that this is only because I’m just behind on these social skills that I need to learn and improve on and that was rly just due to my upbringing that was somewhat out of my control, so really it’s uphill from here? I think I might be too hard on myself too. But I think this post is just my frustration that. Um. I can’t relate to people on anything. And that I have this survivalist mentality still, I don’t think that’s gonna go away soon — in fact it’s due to the mentality that I keep thinking everything I’ve obtained will be pulled out from under me and my years of only school focused mentality— I never allowed myself to have dreams or ambitions. This whole time. I just told myself I can only allow myself those things as soon as I got a bachelors and from there a job. So now that I have Both I look behind me and it’s just years of not enjoyable living that I kinda repressed super hard in order not to process so that way I could keep focusing on academics lol.

I can’t blame this all on my poverty or whatever, I keep telling myself if only I’d put a bit more care into my appearance then maybe I’d seem more approachable but at the time it genuinely didn’t matter to me or I think I was just extremely indifferent about it, again at the time only academics mattered. didn’t help that when I told my mom that I got a B on things she would ask why wasn’t it an A no matter how difficult the topic lol. Oh well. Typing this all has improved my mood somewhat

Not sure what I will accomplish by posting this but if anyone finds any part of this relatable im sorry you’re going through this. Will probably delete at some point this shits embarrassing I don’t think I’ve ever posted this much about myself bleh :/ I am not a person ~~~ woooo~~~ I am chicken icon questionablepastries who posts memessss~~~~ woooooo~~~~ lol

Wanted to add that the pulled rug from under me feeling was a result of me failing to fill out something properly on financial aid for school leading me to have a skip year of no classes, and also my THREE attempts at getting into my program at uni not happening either due to missing credits required to go into it and that happened twice (thank you school counselors for the help (super sarcasm)) like seriously every time I thought I finally had a shot of getting in it was some stupid thing holding me back. Having hope snatched like that academically when all I ever thought of WAS academics was so damaging ugh that sucked I’m so glad I’m done with school forever now