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anopenbookunderlockandkey · 9 months

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The 118 Turtles Chat

Buck: EDS! HEY HEY EDS!

Bobby: Buck, this is the group chat

Buck: I know but he’s not answering me in our chat or my phone calls and Chris’ phone is off

Hen: maybe because it’s 8:45am after 3 nights of 7-7 shifts

Buck: but the turtles!

Bobby: turtles?

Buck: yes, the turtles! 🐢

Hen: Bobby, why’re you humoring him?

Buck: because Bobby knows how excited Christopher is to see the baby turtles at the aquarium! We have to get there at 10am when tickets go on sale

Hen: ever hear of buying things online?

Buck: you can’t! And they need to come with me cause the turtle exhibit opens at 10:15

Buck: will you guys please call and text Eddie too???

Chim: No

Buck: if you’re nice I’ll bring my niece too 😇

Chim: Eddie, wake up so Uncle Buck can bring your son and my daughter to see the turtles

Hen: what if my kids or Bobby’s kids wanted to go???

Buck: it’s family day

Chim: yeah Hen duh it’s family day 🤪

Hen: if Eddie is family we’re all family

Bobby: I tried calling Eddie, he didn’t answer me either

Buck: see! I told you, he sleeps like the dead, like me if you will 💀

Bobby: stop joking about being dead Buck

Buck: what’s the point of living if I can’t joke about dying

Chim: maybe Denny should call Chris on the Xbox, he’ll answer for his video game friends

Hen: don’t bring my child into this

Buck: yes! Please Hen! Have Denny go and see if Chris is on, it’s Saturday morning and his dad is asleep, he’s definitely taking advantage of that

Chim: I texted Denny, said he’s playing games with Chris

Buck: Hen! Hen! Henrietta my favorite, please go talk to Chris and have him wake up his dad, promise him pancakes

Chim: Denny says he won’t tell Chris unless he also gets to see the turtles

Bobby: but it’s family day for Eddie, Buck, and Chris

Chim: Denny says he also wants pancakes and for his mom to be Buck’s slave for a day

Buck: HEN HEN I NEED YOU, PLEASE HEN, THE BABY TURTLES 🐢

Hen: Calm down Turtle boy, Chim didn’t text Denny, Denny is asleep in his bed like I’d like to be

Buck: … this is about THE TURTLES. we need to actually talk to one of them

Bobby: why don’t you just go over there?

Buck: if I drive there and back it will take too long, they need to meet me at the aquarium

Buck: I’ve checked Instagram, there’s already a line for tickets, the turtles are a BIG DEAL

Hen: fine, I’ll call Eddie

Buck: HENRIETTA WILSON YOU ARE THE BEST

Hen: dammit he’s not answering his home phone either, has anyone ever heard his answering machine

Chim: hahahaha yes, last time I left a message on that thing I had to click five different buttons, it’s set up like an office phone, different extensions for him, Chris, and Buck

Buck: home phone?

Hen: you didn’t know Eddie has a landline?

Chim: yes Buck, back in the Stone Age we had wired phones

Bobby: but you’re an option on the answering machine?

Chim: CODEPENDENT

Hen: I need the telephone gods to smile down on me as I make this next phone call and let Eddie wake up, I need to sleep

Bobby: if he hasn’t woken up by now I don’t think there’s a chance

Buck: Bobby! don’t say that, we need to see the turtles!!!

Ravi: why don’t you check location sharing? Maybe he’s not home and his phone is still on silent from being on shift

Buck: great idea! See guys, this is being helpful

Hen: you think mr hates technology has location sharing on?

Ravi: you think he’d know how to turn that default setting off?

Chim: we’ve all been calling him and being helpful, I take offense turtle boy

Buck: Ravi, you’re the best!

Hen: oh thank god, you found Eddie?

*15 minutes pass*

Hen: Buck did you reach Eddie?

*10 minutes pass*

Hen: Buck, it’s almost 10am, and you are the reason I could not sleep, did you guys get in line for the damn turtle tickets?

*20 minutes pass*

Hen: after all that I didn’t even get to know if you saw the turtles?!

Eddie: (image of Buck, Chris and Jee with baby turtles)

Buck: 🐢🐢🐢

Bobby: have a fun family day!

Hen: Eddie, why the fuck didn’t you answer your phone???

Eddie: I left it in Buck’s jeep when he dropped me off after our shift

Hen: I have no words

Buck: 😇 🐢

For @professionalprocrastinator22 and the fun real life phone tag her family played about turtles that inspired this. And for @gravelyhalversobbing and her love of turtles.

#things i decided i could make about 911 #I swear it’s funny to us #you had to be there #incorrect 911 quotes #911 fic #911 fanfic #text fic #buddie fic

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tagerrkix · 8 months

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WHERE IS HE D:

(sorry for deleting and posting this again 🙇‍♂️🙇‍♂️ one tiny insignificant thing was bothering me and when I edited it it wouldn't show on reblogs and that kinda made me go 😠😠😠)

#HARRY NO #CROWLEY THIS ISNT FUNNY #CROWLEYYYYYYYY #this was hilarious in my head #it's even more hilarious now #don't worry Harry is safe #Crowley is just simply in the mood for giving his angel a teensy weensy heart attack #or maybe he's just processing the question #maybe he's trying to locate the rabbit by using his ✨snaky sense✨#nahhh he knows where the rabbit is he's just messing around #(he had to watch Aziraphale practice his amazing magic tricks for the entire week leading up to this)#(can you blame him for doing some ✨magic tricks✨ of his own)#(he's a fast learner okay)#(he sure can make rabbits disappear)#(THE RABBIT IS FINE I SWEAR)#(YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE ME)#(WHEN HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOU)#(AM I NOT TRUSTWORTHY GUYS?????)#Crowley what do you mean “blelele”#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable idiots #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #harry the rabbit

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carcarrot · 2 months

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columbo - "the most dangerous match"

#time for the second in a series of posts that are only funny to one person (me)#i swear to god ive seen someones drawing of this exact meme idea though . maybe. if it does exist i can't find it #but anyway. had to make this but rest assured we'll be back to regularly scheduled programming eventually #this joke works perfectly because in this scene they are in fact using bits of food as chess pieces #columbo #laurence harvey #im sorry other guy i should be tagging you as well.

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bree-paints · 1 month

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My copium where they all survive and they are an iconic one eyed trio

Also some random sketches because 266-267 have been killing me emotionally thank you

#genuinely how the fuck do they go back to society after this???#for how Megumi would lose his eye #I saw some really cool fanart a while ago where he got some scarring post-possession due to Sukuna's weird face thingy #Forgot where it was but I thought it was so cool #and wouldn't it be fucking hilarious if they all have one eye at the end of this #Hell if you wanna cope you could throw Gojo in there too with the eye theories #This should not be funny but it is to me sorry #Gege just mutiliating peoples eyes for some reason #As it stands Yuji and Nobara are matching in canon since he supposedly can't use RCT anymore #Unless he fucking dies before they reunite #I swear to god gege #bro has been throwing too many death flags #Yuji feels like a ticking time bomb every chapter I keep thinking hes gonna die every week #Any way happy sunday yall #jjk #jjk spoilers #jjk 267 #jjk267 #my art #yuji itadori #megumi fushiguro #nobara kugisaki #jjk art

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nikossasaki · 4 months

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disagree...shirt off

THE ACOLYTE | 1X01: LOST/FOUND

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allgremlinart · 4 months

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sometimes I see vids of US highschools find their way to twitter and Europeans are like "you dress like this in public/to school??🤢 have some pride" and look there's a lot of things u can shame the US for but kids dressing comfy is not one of them lmao. because its giving jealous. how are you not jealous. I think you're jealous. "uniforms should be mandatory" it's socially acceptable to show up to school in sweatpants and slides and bonnets and you want us to change that to fuckin. mandatory khakis??? and you think that'd make kids happier??? whatever you say pal....

#senior year I dressed exclusively in sweatshirts tees and my baggy pants and I swear to GOD if I had #the extra burden of a fucking UNIFORM on top of everything it'd be the last straw...#I could also get into how ableist and classist and racist and transphobic the implementation of uniforms can #be but thats not as funny as dunking on random kids on twitter so I wont #to be clear: oh I hate defending the US online. fuck the US. but also take that enormous police baton out of your puckered up assholes plea

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hitmeupaep · 9 months

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THEY SPELLED CAS NAME RIGHT?!??

#maybe my memory is bad but i swear they always write cass #i know in the scripts and the show it’s cass so the instagram just using cas is so funny #i mean there right but still #misha collins #supernatural #castiel

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parkour-and-coffee · 3 months

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Bucky, during WW2: If I die, how much would you miss me?

Steve: it’s cute how you think death can get you out of this relationship

A few years later

Steve: *plummeting the Valkrie in the ocean* See you soon, Buck

#i swear this was supposed to be funny but then it got angsty real quick #stucky #stevebucky #mcu incorrect quotes #stucky incorrect quotes #can i still use the incorrect quotes tags when it's this angsty #ima use them anyway

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empiireans · 4 months

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insert sky-kid-eating-worm related caption

#i was gonna finish this drawing on monday but i got caught up prepping for my job lol #i love putting moths in danger #<- in my drawings #i’m not a moth swatter i swear #i love the worm but it’s just funny thinking how it shakes us around like a dog with a plushie #anyways ahem #sky moth #sky cotl moth #sky moth fanart #sky cotl fanart #sky children of the light fanart #sky cotl #sky children of the light #sky: cotl #skyblr #fanart #character sketches

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rochenn · 1 year

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love the star wars german dub. like you'd figure anakin and obi-wan would address each other with peer pronouns (du) by the time RotS rolls around. but no. they don't even use the formal ones (sie).

anakin addresses obi-wan with the fucking PLURALIS MAJESTATIS. like. "ihr"??? did this space opera backflip into the regency period? imagine that in english. don't make me kill you my liege. your grace, you underestimate my power. what the fuck

#Yes i am aware that all jedi masters are addressed this way which is supremely fucking funny #meanwhile obi-wan uses du for anakin like a normal person #i haven't watched german clone wars in ages but i SWEAR ahsoka also talks to anakin with “ihr“#?????#wild

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berlingotesque · 1 year

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Having an intense brainrot on this guy again.

Also, with the upcoming release of DCTL's graphic novel (which will most likely do irreparable damage to the already weak health of the fandom), I decided to draw a few sketches of our favorite music director based on references of the one I believe to be the irl Sammy Lawrence : Mr. Jude Law in Gattaca, 1997 !

I don’t really know how to express it but his features SCREAMS Sammy to me : the scowl, the delicate yet virile face, the cold beauty marked by an underlying anger... IT’S LITERALLY HIM.

#not used to doing semi-realism but well that’s what studies are for !#also if you like Sammy watch Gattaca you’ll thank me later #I swear every time Law is on screen all I can see is Sammy #if anyone needs further proof my dms are open #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #sammy lawrence #gattaca #jude law #also the quote’s from Kafka ! Such a funny lad #Sammy is insane and I love him for that

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funkbun · 9 months

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