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soap-ify · 4 months

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mdni.

YOU'RE AN ANGEL, I'M A DOG | simon 'ghost' riley x reader

05 — i'll meet the judgement by the hounds.

chapter summary — a fool and a coward, that's the realisation you had come to.

tags / cw — no smut, fluff, a bit domestic honestly, basically reader's drunk and simon takes care of you, bittersweet, simon opens up... a bit, angst, suicidal thoughts, very subtle religious references if they even count as one, simon's in denial and reader is on the verge of losing it all. [4k words]

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Simon had come to the conclusion that you were a snake, and your love was your poison. Maybe he really was a coward for being afraid to let your venom drown into his veins.

“Remind me to never take you out for drinking again.”

If it weren’t for Simon holding you carefully against him and walking through the street, you’d surely have collapsed on the ground all drunk and worse, thrown up by now.

It was a little mistake. One drink became two, and then three. You had forgotten about your tolerance, and here you were now. It’s all because of Simon. That’s what your excuse was, blaming it all on him. Which was true in all honesty, you had gotten too excited about this little hangout.

“You’ll never go out with me again?” Completely mishearing his words, you looked up at him with wide eyes, tears already approaching. Yeah, you were completely drunk. Simon froze, his heart tearing at the sight of your incoming tears, even if they were just due to your emotions being all over the place now. Emotions that had always been there, hidden deep within.

His first instinct was to ignore your words and just keep walking, his heart begging for him to comfort you. But again, how does a killer comfort an angel? How would the moon comfort the ocean, while being so far away?

“I didn’t say that.” He gruffly replied and continued to look ahead, not daring to meet your eyes anymore.

O Angel, let me fall on my knees, kiss your fingers, and weep for forgiveness. So you may hold my absolution, and make me man again.

“C’mon, we gotta take you home.” Simon internally cursed himself for not taking you both to the bar in a car. He hadn’t considered the possibility of you being a drunk mess. Do I ever consider anything?

“No!” Your loud whine echoed in the empty pavement, and he could barely hold in a chuckle, deciding to bite his bottom lip beneath his mask. “Can’t we spend more time together, Si?”

I’d spend a lifetime with you. But god forbid he ever said those words. Not to you, not to anyone. “S’not like m’gonna die or somethin’, or that you’ll never see me again.” Simon grumbled and tightened his hand around your waist, accommodating your wobbly body, guiding you.

Simon wished he could take your hands and sway around with you, let both of you move into a sweet dance, with the stars praising you. A performance for the cosmos. He wished he could hold you when you throw yourself over him, to let you never escape his embrace. Lovers forever tangled.

He wished.

He wondered what something like that even would look like. His dad never danced with his mother. He remembers his mother looking at him, holding in her tears and forcing a smile. “I promise your dad loves me, just as much as I love him. He's just… exhausted nowadays.” He wished his mother didn’t consider him a naive — a child.

Simon doesn’t think he was ever a child. A child is innocent, his very first cry was a sin.

“Simon?” Your voice snapped him out of the reminiscence he was trapped in. He let out a soft grunt, urging you to continue.

“Have you… Have you ever seen a ghost?” You burst into laughter at your own poor attempt at the joke, a rapid change of emotion, though in your defence, it’s definitely very funny. Your free hand tried to wipe the tears as you continued laughing, and Simon swore that this was truly the angels’ hymn eliciting from your mouth.

“Do I count?” He grinned behind his mask, the side of his eyes crinkling a bit. You quickly shook your head and stared at him with determined eyes, fully set on your question. “In that case, no. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one, love. But if I do, I’ll make sure to tell ‘em you said hello.”

If it was someone else like Kyle or Johnny who would be laughing about this joke, Simon was sure that he would have said something snarky or just straight up ignored them. But not with you, never with you.

“You’re the best.” You beamed, his heart squeezed painfully.

“We’re almost there.”

Upon arriving at your apartment complex, he dropped you off outside your apartment’s front door, the only thing in mind being to flee quickly so your sweet smile doesn’t taunt him anymore. Though he simply couldn’t, your fingers not letting go off his forearm at all. Too exhausted to figure out if it was intentional or not, he sighed under his breath and turned over to face you, brown eyes having a slight shine in them due to the hallway’s light.

“C’mon, you gotta go in and rest.” He couldn’t figure out why his breathing was falling short. Was it the alcohol? He barely drank anything.

You, on the other hand, tried your best to not look up at him and meet his eyes, knowing that it would shut you up. Like the intimidating gaze of a god, a warrior. You had to speak your mind, had to know about something, to ease the storm in your head.

“Are you getting bored of me?” These words slipped out of your lips as a meek whisper, forbidden.

It was a sickening feeling that ensued within Simon after that, as if something was grabbing his heart and trying to rip it out of his chest. Inhale, exhale. He didn’t know what exactly horrified him. Probably the fact that he knew what had caused you to think like that. The perfume.

O Angel, let me carve my heart out with a knife and hand it to you as an offering — apology. So may your hands embrace it and take me home, with thee. So may your fingers caress my cheek once again, and let my blood paint my skin.

“No.” He was embarrassingly quick to reply, fingers curling up into fists by his sides as he inhaled sharply. How could he put such thoughts into your head? How could I? Only a devil, the most evil being, could commit such atrocity.

You paused at his words, not knowing what else to say. No? Then why was that perfume there? You didn’t want him to think you were dumb enough to not notice that. “You’re lying…” Your voice cracked, and it was no longer the alcohol playing you like a puppet. It was you now. You felt like your own marionette. Stop speaking, fucking stop. “I am not dumb, Si. I saw that p-perfume on your couch the other day. Is that why you got mad at me?” God, stop talking please. “You could have just… said that you prefer other girls. Am I… Am I making a fucking fool out of myself here?” It terrified you, your own emotions terrified you. Your voice was rising just a bit, and all your feelings had their hands wrapped around your throat. Controlling you. You didn’t want to speak, didn’t want to say it out loud. You weren’t used to being so open about your mind, and now you felt like nothing but a cat shivering under the rain — alone and abandoned. Vulnerable, naked.

Maybe you and Simon weren’t so different after all. Vulnerability — just why did it terrify humans? Were the angels and the gods just as opposed to vulnerability?

“Oh, l-” Love. It almost slipped off his tongue, and he didn’t know if you even wanted him to call you that right now. The thought alone made him shudder uncomfortably. He didn’t know what to do — stuck in between two roads. Should he lie? Or tell you the truth? — That it was just one time, a drunken act that is nothing but lamentable to him.

Why were you both even acting like an actual couple right now?

He swallowed the lump that threatened to torture his throat, exhaling softly. “I was drunk, and it happened. She probably left her perfume accidentally.” He spilled the truth out. Just the way a mature person would. Don’t be fucking daft, Riley. His eyes assessed the subtle twitch of your brows at that, your lips quivering. He wished he could just lean in and kiss all the tears away, despite them not having landed on your cheeks. Hopefully they won’t.

“Oh…” Your response was too short, unsure and reluctant. It made Simon feel as if he had sinned once again, chains threatening to drag him into the darkest depths of Hell. Home — the one he was familiar with.

You swallowed nervously and looked down at your feet, your hand long having stopped holding his arm. Instead, your fingers were fiddling with one another anxiously. Why did you feel as if you were betrayed? A desperate cry for love, you wished you could say it to him. To his face, sob and scream about what you felt. He was the only one who understood, who was willing to understand. He was the only one who ever was, and who ever will be.

The agreement. It was no longer just fucking, it never was. Not since the day you saw him with Kyle, not since the day he talked with you after Kyle gestured at you. Never. Could he also see it all the way you did?

Your silence was a clear indicator of the fact that you were lost in your thoughts now. Simon’s eyes softened up, and before he could think rationally, his body reacted on its own and embraced you tightly against his chest, strong arms wrapping around you protectively.

“Fuck…” He cussed under his breath, despising how his voice was thickening up with emotion. He hugged you like an old dog messily giving affection to its owner. My angel, my angel. I sinned, I have sinned. I am sorry.

He pulled you impossibly close, as if wanting to mold his body into yours, to become one. He could be with you forever in that way, to be your breathing and you his heartbeat.

You didn’t even feel confused at his rapid action at all. Just broken, so broken. He was the hammer that had finally hit the dam, and broke it. “W-Why?” Your voice wavered and mixed into a sob, your hands tightened holding onto him, fingers threatening to dig deeper as you let your head rest against him, tears tickling your skin. “I am so tired… So tired, Si. I hate you…”

“Do you want me to leave?” His hold tightened despite his words.

“No.” Your words came out a bit more forcefully than you had intended, too anxious to let him go. You felt his right hand leaving your back, a soft whimper leaving your lips once you felt his lips, bare and real, pressing a soft kiss on the top of your head, soon realising that he had taken his mask off. Too shy and messy in tears, you made no effort to look up at him and instead continued to cry, emotions desperate to keep pouring out and leave the imprisonment of your body. His hand continued to rub the back of your head while his other held your lower back, both of you unknowingly taking a few steps back and forth together, unable to stay still. It was as if you both were dancing slowly, like lovers.

“Alright. Hand me the keys, love.” You tentatively grabbed your keys from where you had kept it and handed it to him, your hands quickly latching onto him again. He carefully unlocked the front door of your apartment and led you inside, being extra cautious so he doesn’t accidentally step onto your feet. Closing the door by kicking it gently with one leg, he gently guided you towards the living room, easing you down onto the couch.

“Do you remember that creepy guy that came into the cafe?” Your voice was still shaky from crying, eyes all glossy as you finally looked at him, heart skipping a beat. Despite already having seen his face the last time, you still weren't used to it. Were you blessed?

He silently nodded and took a seat beside you, his arms leaving your sides so his large hands could cradle your face, thumbs tenderly wiping the drying up tears away while you talked, eyes looking everywhere but at him due to the sudden proximity. He didn't mind it at all, simply adored your sudden sheepishness.

“I still get scared at the thought of him… I don't want anyone like that to visit the cafe again. I-I don't think I can handle it.” Your voice gradually got quieter by the end, nibbling on your bottom lip. Oh, dear. Simon hadn’t told you that he had already beat that creep up. Now he somewhat wished that he had killed him instead. Surely Price would back him up if he made up some reason, yeah?

Your shoulders visibly eased up at that, your mind clearing a bit. Probably sobering up? You were sure that you weren't going to pick up a bottle of alcohol after this. Leaning into him, you decided to rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. Expecting a soft, calm rhythm — you were instead met with a fast thump, your brows furrowing though you decided not to comment on it.

“He wouldn't. No one will ever treat you like that again, love.” As long as I am here. Possessive yet guilty. He was vaguely promising to be by your side while always avoiding you, protecting you from himself. From the ugliness within him. No angel must spare a glance at a stray, especially not one used to violence.

His hands were playing with the fabric of your shirt now, mindlessly toying with it, feeling the texture under his skin as he gently tugged onto it. It felt oddly comforting, both of you not mentioning what happened outside the apartment a few minutes ago.

You looked up at him again, your eyes falling onto his lips this time. A bit chapped with a small scar adorning the side of his upper lip. You couldn't help but smile at the sight, leaning forward to place a bashful kiss on top of it. Simon let out a soft grumble at that, tilting his head to the side so he could kiss your lips properly, eyes fluttering shut alongside yours. He could taste some hints of your salty tears, his hands holding your waist while your hands held the back of his neck, letting his lips devour yours.

He held onto you gently, not wanting to be tight despite every fiber within him wanting to hold you fully against him once more, like a hound too eager to please.

Once he pulled away from the kiss, his heart skipped at the sight of your lips being all glossy. Ethereal. Your lips twitched into a giddy smile, and he could swear that he felt the heat radiating off you once it crept up onto your face. It felt soft, everything felt too soft and warm. The gentleness threatened to suffocate him once more, a mocking reminder of him being undeserving of such tranquility. He was supposed to be wed to the war, to violence. To the bloodshed that haunted his dreams. Not whatever this was.

But he refused to get up, not wanting to see any more of your tears. “We have to get you to bed. You need sleep.” He spoke quietly, a soft sigh leaving his lips once he felt your forehead pressing against his, letting you lean into him.

“Will you join me?” You normally would have never asked something like that, but the way he was holding you almost made you believe that he was willing to warm up a bit more with you.

Simon frowned at that, pulling his head back slightly. “We can't, you're drunk.”

Realising that he misunderstood you, blood rushed to your cheeks and you looked away in embarrassment, your voice getting timid. “No… I meant sleeping together. Nothing else.”

He paused, eyes softening up as the implication dawned on him. Sleeping together. Innocently domestic — something you both had never touched. He wanted to reject, to say that it’d be better for him to just leave. That could have been the better option anyways. Though he couldn't bring himself to refuse you, too enamoured, as if trapped in some spell by you.

“Fine.” He clicked his tongue in a poor attempt to appear reluctant, masking his inner eagerness. Helping you off the couch, he led you towards the bathroom first, opening the tap. “Let's wash your face first, yeah?”

He did everything — getting you in comfortable pajamas once he finished helping you clean up, even helping you in preparing the bed. Everything. It made you feel as if you were cared for, as if he was the warmth you had ached for throughout your life. The felicity had long spreaded within you once you laid down on bed, watching him lay down beside you.

He was tense, visibly so. You tentatively scooted towards him, a hand reaching out to settle onto his chest, to feel his heartbeat once again. Maybe in this way, you could sync your heart with his, build your own little bubble. Or was that too much to hope for?

“Thank you…” It just slipped out of your mouth like a soft prayer — a hidden whisper to be close to him so more.

“S'nothing.” His eyes looked over at you, taking in the contentment etched onto your face. He wanted to wrap his arms around you and hold you against him, to let you melt in his embrace while you slept. No. That's too much, that's crossing a line. A line made up in his head.

You're building your own grave, Simon. He despised his own mind for mocking him like this, for littering his head with unwanted thoughts. Just one night.

“Sleep now, love.” He whispered quietly, watching you reach over to turn the lamp off. You shuffled besides him again, letting the blanket cover you up.

Simon doesn’t remember the last time he had slept so nicely, your soft breathing his lullaby.

Upon waking up alone on your bed, a heavy feeling of dread settled on you alongside a throbbint headache. Had he left? Wasn't it just getting better?

Holding your heart together from cracking it with every strength you had, you tried to take a few deep breaths. Don’t panic, don't-

The sudden clinking sound from outside your bedroom made you jolt, and only now could you notice the pleasant aroma of something cooking. Sheepishly, you slid off the bed and tiptoed over to the door, poking your head out to look around. Able to make out some of Simon's figure through the open door of the kitchen, relief flooded deep within you. He's here.

“Good morning, Si…” You greeted him once you entered the kitchen, standing besides him, rubbing the weariness off your eyes. He gave a soft grunt of acknowledgement, focusing on cooking some breakfast.

“Your whole kitchen needs some restocking.” He mumbled, sparing a small glance over at you. You stayed quiet, a bit embarrassed by his observance. You were planning on restocking it soon, anyways.

The morning went by like a pleasant breeze, your mood ever so joyous today. You felt light, as if floating on the clouds and reaching the stars, as if becoming one of them, alongside Simon. He hadn't mentioned much about last night at all, even gave you some pills and an offer for a head massage. You had declined it, mostly because you didn't want to show how greatly affected you were by the subtle signs of care laced in his actions, despite it being already evident all over you.

You didn't know what had driven you to act in the way you did in the afternoon. Maybe you shouldn't have opened your mouth, just kept it shut and complied.

“Si, I um… I want to talk to you about something.” You paused the monotonous movie literally none of you were actually focusing on, turning over the couch to face him, your fingers tightly curled on your lap, digging into your flesh.

Maybe it was just your heart acting out, feeling as if things had changed. Foolishly clinging onto the thin strong of hope, never learning. Never learning that touching stray dogs was bad, they had fleas. Fleas that had already infected you, threatening to devour you.

“I think… Uh- I was wondering- I just-” Fumbling over your words, all you could hear was the loud beating of your own heart, each nerve of yours set on fire. Anxious, too anxious. You wanted to throw up. “I wanted to tell you that I really… like you, and-” Your words drowned into heavy silence once you took note of just how silent Simon was, how he was frowning.

A fool. A fool who dreamt too much, who was too lost amidst the heavenly clouds of tranquility. A fool who did everything to avoid reality — that's what you felt like.

“No.” His reply was rather abrupt, clear. The subtle smile on your lips fell, and Simon wished to do nothing more than drown into a river. “You don't like me.”

“I-I do!” Unbelievable, did he not believe that you like him? Even love him.

“You shouldn't.” That came out more roughly than he had intended to, a little snarl escaping his throat. “We've already discussed it, this is nothing.’

You should have shut up at that, should have somehow sewed your lips together and quieted down. You couldn't, instead growing more agitated, more on edge. “You can't say that, Si! D-Don't you see whatever it is that we're doing?” You whimpered in exasperation, trying to keep your voice from trembling, miserably failing. “I care for you! I do, and you care for me too. I can see it…” Vision progressively growing blurrier with incoming tears, you looked away and tried to ignore the sting in your eyes, your breath shuddering. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Simon was at a loss of words himself, his heart aching to kiss your tears away and plead for forgiveness. He was a cruel, cruel man. Cruel for being so terrified, cruel for being so persistent.

O Angel, forgive me for I can't let you love me, for light should never kiss the shadow.

“You shouldn't…” He repeated his words again, his voice quieter, weaker. A plea, a request. You shook your head, a sob erupting from your throat as you tried to reach out for him.

He pulled away just as quick, your hand never meeting his. An ocean that could never touch the moon, a man that could never touch a star.

“I need to leave.” Hastily he turned around and walked out of your apartment, leaving you speechless, hand still shamefully held out. Frozen and alone, unloved.

Simon Riley was a coward.

Simon had lost count of how many bottles he had drank by now. Feeling horribly, horribly similar to his father. A drunkard, disgusting. He thought the alcohol could wash his emotions away, drown them hopefully — all it did was make him even more vulnerable, his glossy eyes staring off at a distance.

Weak. Ironically enough, this brute was nothing but weak. Everyone should be laughing at him, you should be laughing at him. Laugh at him for not knowing how to love properly, for being so quick to run away.

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing, making him click his tongue in irritation that soon melted away once he noticed the caller ID.

Price.

He picked it up and listened to his captain's words, each syllable both a stab and a blessing.

A deployment again, finally.

notes — i apologise for uploading it after A WHOLE MONTH. blaming it on the writerphew, a deployment! this could mean many things. also a heads up that either chapter 6 or chapter 7 will be the last one (made some changes to my plan!)

#the most infuriation relationship known to society #simon PLEASE.#ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley #cod x reader #call of duty #yaaiad : masterlist #rurufic

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blueicequeen19 · 1 year

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Impulsive

Warnings: a silly fight with JJ, unprotected sex, implied Somno, slight manipulation

To say I was pissed was the understatement of the fucking year. I loved JJ Maybank more than anything in the world but sometimes his lack of impulse control really got to me. It was cute when he was 16. Maybe even 18. But now at 23, I wanted to strangle him.

I’d lost the fight over him buying a second hot tub. I’d even lost the fight over him painting Poguelandia on the side of his truck. Now, we were fighting over his desire to tear our house down and rebuild it with an underground bunker. A bunker. On an island. Sea levels meant nothing to an impulse controlled Pogue.

So I went to bed after our last fight and I made sure to sprawl out in the center of the bed. Naked. I also made sure to layer myself up in sweet smelling lotion that I knew he loved. I couldn’t put it on without him practically attacking me. I was willing to play dirty. Pussy was the only way to reason with JJ.

Let him decide who’s going to win this one.

Y/N didn’t get it. She didn’t understand why a bunker was so important. Crazy shit happened all the time. I’d just let her cool off before I approached the subject again.

After I cleaned up around the house to earn some extra brownie points, I made my way to our bedroom where she’d retired for the night. The first thing that caught my attention was the moon shining brightly in through the window she’d left open. The second was that she was sleeping naked and completely spread out for me. I took a deep breath, immediately smelling that sugar cookie fucking lotion she likes to taunt me with.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I knew what this was. It was a trap. I was a weak man and she knew that. She was using sex to gain the upper hand. Even as I shook my head, trying to erase the image of her bared pussy from my brain, my cock thickened painfully in my shorts. She stirs, bending one knee and spreading herself open further. I could see her little hole. The one I’d swore led straight to heaven.

The lump in my throat is too thick to swallow, my insides tightening while my dick begs to be freed. I undo my shorts just for some relief and step out of them when they hit the bedroom floor. I slip my shirt off next because it’s getting warm in here. I’m leaking in my boxers so I might as well take those off too.

I move to the edge of the bed, my body buzzy was the need to rut into her until the bed fucking breaks. She did this on purpose. I move between her legs, resisting the urge to feast on her pussy. I loved eating her pussy but I needed to turn this around. I needed to gain the upper hand. I spit on her clit, maneuvering onto my knees so I can smear the saliva with the head of my cock. I press against her entrance, feeling her warmth trying to suck me in deep when I hear her suck in a breath. She jerks upright and away from me, shoving me in the chest. I all but growl at her, grabbing the backs of her knees and hauling her back.

“Stop. I’m mad at you.” She snarls, smacking at my chest before I quickly restrain her hands.

“I can tell. You never sleep naked.”

“It’s not for you.”

“Oh yea? Who’s it for? Your other boyfriend?”

“Maybe.” I shake my head, biting my bottom lip as I try to reign myself in. This girl was a fucking brat. She always knows how to fuck with me. To make me completely unhinged.

“You can’t waive a steak in front of a hungry lion and expect him not to bounce.” I warn, letting my gaze wander down her naked body. Her nipples were hard and begging to be sucked on. The heat from her pussy was calling to me.

“Maybe the lion shouldn’t piss off the hand that feeds him.” She snarks, attempting to close her legs but I stop her, gritting my teeth.

“Baby—.”

“Nope. I don’t care.”

“Just the tip.” I was teetering on the ledge of insanity, my dick wedged against her thigh. I guide it to her opening and she pulls her hips back.

“No. It’s never just the tip with you. If you wanna fuck me then you’re going to have to apologize.” She pushes against my chest as I smear my precum all over her mound. I couldn’t think straight. All the blood was rushing to my dick. I could only focus on one thing and that was feeling her wrapped around my cock.

“Im sorry.” I guide my cock back down but she stops me against, grasping my jaw and forcing me to meet her eyes.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

“No.” She rolls her eyes, trying not to laugh as she releasing a shuddering breath. She might be able to resist me but I could see and feel how wet her pussy was.

“You can’t build a bunker. End of story, J.” She says, searching my face for any sign of recognition. I could hardly remember the fight about the bunker. I’d moved on from that and was focused on getting inside her.

“Fine. Lay back.” I shove her back on the bed and she gasps just as I ease the tip inside her. Her back arches off the bed as I watch my cock slowly disappear inside her. The heat from her pussy washes over me and sends sparks up my spine.

“JJ.” She moans my name, grabbing both her breasts and tweaking her nipples. I’m torn between watching her and watching as I withdraw my cock, seeing that it’s already coated in her creamy goodness before I shove it back inside.

“You little demon. Using this sweet pussy to get your way.” I growl, tightening my grip on her thighs before I start to move. She moans louder as I drive inside her faster and faster. I lift her legs, shoving them together and bracing them against my chest while securing them tightly with one arm. My other hand is planted between her breasts, holding her in place as I start to fuck her deeper.

“Oh god.” She cries out, everything tightening as she nears her release.

“Cum, baby.” I bite out, signaling both our releases at the same time. We both moan loudly as her pussy contracts, sucking every bit of cum out of me and draining my balls. I finally slow to a stop, letting her legs drop back down to the bed as we both fight to catch our breath. A thin layer of sweat covers us both and with the way she’s still gripping me, I’m tempted to fuck her again.

“Are you happy now?” I ask before leaning down to kiss her. She smirks against my lips, wrapping her limps around me as she kisses me back hard.

“For now.”

#smutwarning #outer banks smut #jj maybank smut #jj maybank fic #jj maybank imagine #obx2 #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank x you #jj obx #rudy pankow #outer banks x reader

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giggly-squiggily · 17 days

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The Tickle Mobster Returns (Piofiore)

Heyo! Guess who's back to writing her self indulgent fics? This girl! :D

This month turned into Visual Novel month whoops, so I might as well end it with a visual novel fic hehe. This is a sequel fic to "The Tickle Mobster"; Lee!Dante is my weakness and I just needed some familial love from these two cousins. I hope you like it!

Summary: Nicola swore vengeance on Dante, leaving him on edge. Surely Nicola was just joking right?...Right?

Dante was no coward. Whenever a problem arises within or outside the familia, he handles it himself. It would be a disgrace to his honor as a man to do otherwise.

That said…

Daring a brave peek out of his office, he looked up and down the halls of the Falzone manor, his heartbeat accelerating. He usually wasn’t this antsy in his own home, but after recent events…

“His back and knees were bad when we were kids though.”

Nicola’s cries of revenge were swallowed with dolphin-like cackles as he escaped from the scene, leaving his cousin to be tickled to near tears by Liliana. At the time, he felt rather proud of himself- giving Lili a much needed advantage against her boyfriend. Not to mention the deep satisfaction of getting him back for all the chaos he caused months before.

Alas, it all faded far too quickly for the young capo’s liking, leaving him on edge for Nicola’s revenge. The brunette never went back on threats when he made them.

Straining his ears for footsteps, Dante took a brave step forward as he left the safety of his office, creeping along towards the kitchen.

~~~

“Heh…” With a warm cup of coffee in hand, he closed his office door and leaned back into it, safe once more. He didn’t see Nicola at all during his little trip, making him feel both relieved and ridiculous. “Of course he’s not around; I'm just being silly. " He should have known as adults Nicola wasn't going to do anything.

"He's likely off with Lili- I’m happy for them.” He mused out loud, bringing his cup to his lips with a content smile.

“Aww, you’re sweet.”

“PFFT-” Dante choked, sputtering out his coffee with wide eyes when said man appeared from beneath his desk. “W-When did you-?”

“While you were out. What, you miss me that much already?” Nicola grinned as he closed the distance, laughing some as Dante struggled to open the door. “If I’d known how bad you wanted me around, I would have come by sooner.”

“Nicola, don’t you dare-” Finally the damn knob turned. Dante tried to squeeze through the opening, but his cousin had him by the back of his vest in seconds. “Merde!”

“Oo, you said a bad word! I’m telling Giulia.” Nicola teased, flicking the lock on the door so no one would enter. He took Dante’s cup, placing it on the nearby bookshelf before turning to his trapped cousin. “There’s no running from me now.”

Dante looked around, weighing his options. He could put the desk between them, but there wasn’t much space back there. Books? No, his aim was good but his throwing capabilities were lacking! Not to mention he wasn’t actually trying to hurt him…

He could run again, but Nicola had strategically placed himself before the door. He was officially screwed.

“Nicola…as your Capo, I order you to let me go.” He put on a brave voice, steeling his nerves.

Nicola only smiled, raising a brow.

“....Please?” Dante offered, realizing his bluff failed tremendously.

“Sorry, but as your underboss- no, as your family, I veto your order. You know I only listen to them when they're business related, right?” Nicola winked before charging ahead. Dante took one last attempt to escape-

“Gotcha!”

Down they went- a heap of bodies against the carpeted floor with Nicola pinning him. He might have had a small advantage with height, but Nicola was far stronger than him physically. “Nicola, wait! Please- I’m sorry.”

“Sure you are now, but I don’t think you were when you told Lili that little tidbit earlier.” Nicola was all smiles, but Dante could read them like a book. This one dripped with danger. “I suppose it’s fair- I did tell her your own tickle spots recently.”

“Huh- you did what?” Dante couldn’t believe his ears! “Nicola!”

“An eye for an eye. Now- where was I? Oh right.” With that, the older of the two attacked, shooting his hands down and squeezing at the terrible spot along Dante’s lower ribs. “Take that.”

Dante tried his best to resist. He mentally prepared himself for the upcoming tickles well before Nicola touched base. Alas- nothing really could protect him from the actual feeling. “Geha! Haheahhahhahahah! N-Nihiihihicohohoohhola, pleahahhhahase!”

“Huh? Can’t hear you Dante! Whatcha say?” Nicola cooed at him, one hand remaining at that horrible spot while the other moved up to his middle set of ribs, unmoved at the hands grabbing his shoulders. “You’re gonna have to speak up, you've always been so soft spoken.”

“Yohohohou soohohn of ahah-whahahhat the hehehehell doohohoho yoohohohu eehehehven mehehhahahahan by thahahhat? Gehahahaha, gehehhet ohohohoff!” Dante yelped through his laughter, grabbing at the hands refusing to release his ribs. “Mohoohohve sohoohomewhehehere eheheelse!”

“Why?” Nicola grinned.

“Yohohohou knoohohw whihihihy!”

“I do, but I wanna hear it.” The older of the two snickered as he slowly began moving his fingers up his ribs, making his ascent. “Come on, tell me!”

“I dohohon’t nehehehed to-Geahhaah nohohoho! Nohohoohoo, dohohohon’t go uhuuhp! Nihiihicola pleahhahhahse!” Dante’s struggles renewed as he realized just where the older mafioso was going. “Dohoohhon’t yohohou dahhhahare!”

“Or what? What’cha gonna do, Dante?” He cooed at him, tapping his fingers against his upper ribs in such a way that it made him twitch. “Are you gonna stop me? I don’t think you can.” He paused for dramatic effect, watching him with playful eyes. “Ready?”

“N-Nihihicola, please waha-IHIHIHIT!” There was no saving him now. Nicola shoved his hands beneath his arms, going for Dante’s worst spot with ease. “PLEHAHAHHASE WAHAHHAIT!”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Nicola snickered through his own teases, relishing in the snorts and squeaks Dante let out. It had been such a long time- SUCH a long time since he’d got to experience this. Part of him never wanted to stop just so he could burn this memory into his core.

“FIHIHIHNE, FIHIHINE IT TIHIHIHICKLES! HAHHAHAPPY?” Dante cried out, cheeks pink and eyes squeezed shut with mirth as he tried hiding his radiant smile against his shoulder. “NOHOHOW STAHHAHAP!”

“Damn, and here I’d thought you could go longer.” Nicola mock chided as he released him, falling onto his side as he watched him curl up. “Hehe, you’re so cute. Look at you, a giggly mess.”

“Screhehew you.” Dante groaned, making Nicola laugh harder. Lying side by side in this old office, a mixture of good and bad memories loomed around them as they fell into a comfortable silence against the carpeted floor.

“You’re terrible.” Dante decided after he caught his breath, lightly elbowing Nicola’s arm. “Though I knew you were going to do that, so I suppose being angry does nothing.”

“I’m really getting unpredictable, huh? First Lili, and now you’re ready for my pranks.” Smiling, Nicola got comfortable, turning his head to find Dante looking back at him. “I’m gonna have to start changing things up.”

“Even if you did, it wouldn’t matter.” Dante shrugged some, turning back to the ceiling before he spoke. “You’re my..brother. I know you like the back of my hand. No matter what you pull, I can see right through you.”

Nicola’s breath hitched, eyes widening. Brother. Not a cousin, not his underboss. His brother. He only heard it once before but the effect remained the same. “Dante..” He tried to laugh, hoping it’d hide his sudden tears. “You’re truly a devious one, aren’t you?”

“Maybe.” Something soft entered his smile as he gave Nicola a chance to compose himself. “It can’t always be like this.”

“I know.”

“We're older now, we’re been left with the task of protecting the Familia.”

“I know.”

“But…I don’t mind this. Every once and awhile.” Dante huffed, cheeks hot as he looked away completely. “Just don’t make it a habit.” Nicola lit up at the words, his smile warm.

“I’ll try to refrain myself.” He snickered, about to reach out and squeeze his shoulder.

Just then, there was a knock on the door. “Dante? Are you in? I brought you a cafe latte.” Liliana's voice sounded muffled by the wood. Dante flailed to sit up, eyes wide and cheeks hot as he scrambled to his feet. Nicola pressed his arms into his mouth, shaking with barely restrained mirth. “Is Nicola with you? I think I just heard him.”

“He is- erm, hang on.” Dante carefully walked across a still giggly brunette as he opened the door, smiling kindly at the blonde girl before them. “Hello, Lili.”

“Hello, Dante. I brought cake too…” Her eyes widened a bit seeing Nicola on the ground. Then she looked at Dante- from his slightly flushed cheeks to shaky frame as he struggled to subtly catch his breath.

“Heh, Nicola got you too, huh?” She teased as she offered him his treats, taking the forgotten drink sitting nearby on the shelf. “Don’t worry, we’ll get him back together.” She winked before turning to go, leaving both Falzone boys wide eyed with surprise.

“N-Now hold on there! Lili!” Nicola yelped as he dashed after her, leaving Dante fighting down a laugh as he quietly shut the door. Sitting at his desk, he took a small bite of the strawberry dessert Lili brought him, melting instantly at the taste.

“Sweet. Just like her.”

He would gladly take up Lili’s offer in helping with revenge.

Thanks for reading!

#piofiore #tickle #tickle fic #Dante falzone #nicola francesca #fluff #little bit of Lili at the end #Squiggily’s self indulgent month of visual novels #Lee!Dante for the soul #he deserves it lols #I’m falling in love with Nicola and I lowkey hate it but also like it anxnnsnxnanxnanx

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starsstuddedsky · 2 years

Text

Shall We?

gn reader x chan

summary: having a crush on your best friend made everything more complicated. would you be able to tell him how you felt, or will you be stuck in this limbo forever?

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, university au, sports au, non idol au

warnings: none, inaccurate soccer, both main characters are dumb?

wc: 6.3k

a/n: this is the first story I’m posting!!! it was really a gift for a friend but I enjoyed it a lot so hopefully y’all do too! thank you for reading :) i wrote it in first person bc second is kinda awk for me

title: Shall We? - CHEN

masterlist

I wasn’t the type to have crushes. I could count on one hand the number of people I’d ever admitted to having a crush on, and three of them were fictional characters. It wasn’t that I didn’t find people attractive - there were plenty of people in that category. Crushes just didn’t come easily.

That was why I couldn’t decide how to deal with the big fat crush I had on our school’s star forward, Lee Chan. I wasn’t used to having butterflies when I talked to him, losing focus in class, wondering what he was doing, dropping my phone when he posted (his second ever picture on Instagram) what could only be labeled as a thirst trap.

The worst part was that he was my best friend. I’d known him since kindergarten where I ironically swore to hate him for ruining my art project. I couldn’t escape these feelings, no matter how recently they’d come upon me. I glared at Seungkwan, who sat next to me on the sofa. It wasn’t fair that the athletes got better dorms when all they did was kick some balls around, but I stopped complaining out loud when I realized I had enough friends that lived in the athlete dorms that I could stay in their rooms (with actual bathrooms!) as much as I wanted.

“First of all, you’ve been in love with him at least since freshman year,” Seungkwan said. “That’s being generous, actually, it was probably middle school. I can’t be sure it wasn’t elementary school. Maybe it was love at first sight, actually, no, I take it back, you guys are probably soulmates.”

“Are you finished yet?”

Seungkwan laughed. “All I’m saying is that I have been saying that you have been in love with him for years.”

“But I haven’t!” I punched his arm when he scoffed. “I’m serious! These feelings are new and weird and I don’t like them, and Chan is one of my best friends- actually, he is my best friend because you’re being annoying.”

“I take offense to that.”

“Good, you were meant to,” I said. “Now shut up and let me rant. I really like him, Seungkwan, I can’t even think about him without my stomach getting butterflies. There’s no way he hasn’t noticed how weird I am around him, and just can’t imagine my life without him in it.” I buried my face into a pillow. “Why does my stupid heart ruin everything?”

Seungkwan patted me on the back. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“I have been friends with Chan my entire life,” I said, raising myself from the cushion. “I think it’s worth being dramatic over.”

“What if it were me? And we were fighting and you were worried we would never be friends again?”

“Ew, gross,” I said automatically. “No offense, but I’d be glad to be rid of you.”

“First of all, you can’t say no offense and expect it to cancel out the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. Also, I don’t believe you at all; who else have you told about your little crush?”

“No one,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” Seungkwan sounded smug. “Now, I’m going to assume confessing is out of the question?”

“Don’t even joke about it,” I hugged the pillow against my chest.

Seungkwan whipped his phone out, snapping a picture. “Sorry, I’ve literally never seen you this vulnerable, and I’m going to need blackmail at some point.”

“You are the worst, I gave you the best blackmail in the world, do you really need a picture, too?”

“Oh, yn, I can never have enough blackmail.” Not for the first time, I was scared of Seungkwan.

“Can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. “Weren’t you known for being the love doctor or whatever in high school?”

“First of all, I was not called the love doctor, that sounds weird, please never call me that again,” Seungkwan said. “And it was a lot easier to give advice to people that weren’t both my friends. I think I have to be Switzerland on this one.”

“You’re worthless,” I said, sliding onto the floor.

“Wow, I was just about to offer you food as compensation,” Seungkwan sighed.

“Did I ever tell you that you are my best friend in the entire world?”

Having a newly realized crush on your best friend apparently doesn’t excuse you from going to all of his games, no matter how strangely nervous it made you. Normally I came early to say hi during warmups (a tradition that began during the preseason because Chan forgot something every other day, but spending so much time with two teammates meant that I got to know pretty much the entire team). The thought of trying to act like everything was fine in front of the entire team, including Seungkwan, who would undoubtedly tease me, made me sick, so I texted Chan, telling him I needed to do homework but would be there in time for the game.

It technically wasn’t a lie, but all I did was I sit in my dorm, staring at the door, watching the seconds pass by one at a time. I wondered if he would even notice if I wasn’t there.

“Don’t you have to go?” My roommate asked. “The game starts in like five minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, she said, “You’re usually at every game like half an hour early. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m that predictable?”

She smiled. “Did you and Chan fight?”

“No, nothing like that!” I paused. “Wait, why did you ask about Chan?”

“You’re going to be late,” she said, turning back to her desk.

I was torn between questioning exactly why she thought something happened between me and Chan or going to the game. I decided going to the game would at least involve less conflict.

I had to sprint to the stadium so that I wasn’t late, for once grateful Chan made me train with him every once in a while. Luckily it was one of the regulars checking tickets, and they waved me in as soon as they saw me sprinting.

I made it to the fence line just as they finished announcing the lineup for the opposing team. I didn’t need his number to pick him out, at the far end of the field, swaying back and forth a little, tapping the toe of his left cleat to the ground and sliding his foot forward until it was flat on the turf, then doing the same with his right. I couldn’t see him clearly from this far away, but I still knew his eyes were closed, and he was taking a slow deep breath, the same routine he’d performed since he first started playing soccer.

I’d seen him in his uniform since the beginning, but in the last few days, something had changed about the way he looks, as if I was only just now noticing the toned muscles in his arms, the way the uniform was loose yet still showed off shoulders that I knew from experience were firm and perfectly fit for my head. How many times had I rested my head on those shoulders without feeling a thing? Why was everything different now?

They were halfway down the lineup when he turned to the crowd. I watched him as his head turned slightly, scanning the stands, then lowering his chin and looking along the fence line. I could see the moment his eyes passed over me, fully expecting him to continue looking at the crowd. Instead, he stopped, holding my gaze despite the fact that I could barely see him. I froze when he smiled and lifted his hand in a tiny wave, forcing myself to wave back.

I was a grinning idiot, even when he forgot to pay attention to his own name and Vernon had to push him forward when his name was announced. He hastily waved towards the crowd, though I could have sworn his eyes were still on me.

The team went into a quick huddle, whispering among each other for a few seconds, then chanting the school mascot until the entire crowd took it up and the noise was deafening. I had always been curious about what they said in those huddles and finally remembered to ask a few weeks ago.

“Usually it’s just, like, ‘let’s get this done,’ or repeating something coach said about the other team,” he said. “But every once in a while it’s something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Like jokes and bets between us,” he said, taking a sudden interest in the forks at the restaurant. We had gone out to eat after they lost their first game of the season.

“What was it today?”

He shrugged, shoving the food on his plate around. “Nothing interesting.”

As soon as the referee blew the whistle everyone was moving. It might look like chaos, but I’d seen enough soccer to know that it was an organized dance, how, much like all sports, there were patterns that were followed. My eyes followed Chan as he jogged ahead, waiting for someone to pass him the ball. Our team had taken control of the ball first, one of the seniors, Joshua, dodging around their defense before passing the ball across the field to Jun, the left forward.

Chan was in a good spot to score, the defense mostly focused on Jun, all he had to do was get the ball to him. I could feel the tension building, not just on the field, but in the crowd, as Jun dodged them again and again, then suddenly kicked the ball straight across the field. It looked like the ball wasn’t going anywhere, sliding across the fake grass without anyone from either team to stop it. And then Chan was there. Even I had lost him while watching Jun and the ball. He seemed to have come out of nowhere, kicking the ball as hard as he could before any of the defenders could react, sending it soaring up, the goalie reaching in vain, the ball soaring just over his hands and into the top corner of the goal.

The crowd erupted into cheers, myself the loudest of them all. Chan sprinted back to the home side of the field, grinning like an idiot. He ran past where I stood on the fence line and I could have sworn he winked at me. The rest of the team half tackled him as if he’d scored the game winning goal, chanting, “Dino! Dino! Dino!”

I frowned. Where had they learned that? As far as I knew, I was the only one to ever call him that. I supposed it wasn’t a big deal that other people called him by that name, but it still felt strange. I didn’t like that something that was ours was suddenly shared.

The referee blew his whistle and they finally reorganized themselves. Scoring a goal so early on could be dangerous, encouraging them to relax and let their defenses down. As they spread out on the field, I didn’t notice any of that. Chan was focused from the second the referee blew his whistle and the game play started again. I glanced at the team, and they all seemed equally intense.

I tried to think of why they were so focused. Were they playing a rival? The other team was good and a win would count toward their conference ranking, but it wasn’t anyone I thought warranted this level of focus. Maybe they were still upset that they lost the game last week, though they’d swept the tournament they played this past weekend.

The rest of the first half was uneventful, neither team able to score. Chan and Minghao, another forward, both came close but the balls were stopped by the other team’s goalie. Jihoon, our own goalie, only had to stop one ball. Everything else was stopped by what we affectionately called the Great Wall. Mingyu and Seungcheol were the main defenders, and were famous in our region for rarely letting a ball through our defense.

After the quick break, the teams returned to the field, switching sides. Now Chan would be closer to my side, running most of the offense almost in front of me. As soon as the whistle was blown he was moving, running right past me. I was probably imagining the smell of his detergent as he passed me by.

About half an hour in, I thought they might be able to score, but Chan lost the ball to one of their defenders and it was sent halfway across the field to their midfielders. Seungcheol and Mingyu did a good job, but even they weren’t quite able to stop the other team from pushing them down the field, closer to our goal. I held my breath as their forward got a good kick on the ball.

People tended to underestimate our goalie because he was pretty short. They didn’t know how quickly Jihoon could move, how good he was at anticipating where the ball would be kicked. I wondered if he was consciously aware of what he was seeing or if it was all instinct now. He made snagging the ball out of the air look easy, hanging on to it until the outfielders were back on the other side of the field.

Chan passed by me again as Jihoon threw the ball across the field, staying just in front of the defenders. They passed the ball around, not able to get past the defense, but also not giving up possession. Five minutes passed, then ten, and still neither team scored. We were still up by one, but as the time ticked down, the other team grew more desperate.

At 4 minutes and 47 seconds, they pushed through the defense. One of their forwards swung his foot back to kick the ball but turned slightly at the last second, slamming his foot into Mingyu’s shin. The taller boy dropped to the ground, but no whistle was blown, and the forward got a shot off. Jihoon couldn’t quite get to the ball and it just barely made it in.

1-1

While Seungcheol, the captain, and the coach shouted at the referee at the blatant foul that wasn’t called, the rest of the team regrouped. Mingyu had gotten up after a couple seconds, and from where I was looking he looked fine, though clearly mad. The referee gave Seungcheol a yellow card and he finally backed down, and our coach called a time out.

The crowd began the usual chants, though there was more passion after the horrible calls. When I was in the stands, I was normally screaming along with them, sometimes even leading them. I didn’t have any energy tonight to join in.

The time out wasn’t nearly long enough to cool them down. I could tell by the way they stalked back out onto the field that most of them were still mad, and I couldn’t blame them. The second the referee blew the whistle they were on the attack, sending the ball down the field recklessly fast. Chan was moving better than I’d ever seen before, anticipating where the defense would be and dodging before they even moved into position. The ball was passed to him quickly, though he immediately shot it off to one of the midfielders.

The lower the time got, the more desperate each team was. We somehow still held control of the ball for two full minutes, still unable to get a shot off.

At 2 minutes and 13 seconds, Chan had the ball again. He was moving like everyone else was stuck in quicksand, dodging the defenders and driving a path towards the goal. I could feel that he was going to get past them, going to score, and then he found and opening, swinging his foot back and-

And he got slammed to the ground by one of their defenders. This time the referee couldn’t ignore it, blowing his whistle. I was pretty sure there was about to be a fight, but I couldn’t look away from Chan, who was still on the ground. I could feel my heartbeat in my throat as I waited for him to get up, for him to move. He was only a few feet away from me. The idiotic part of me wanted to hop the fence and jump onto the field but what would I do? Yell at him until he woke up?

His back was to me and the longer he went without moving the more scared I got. Had he hit his head? Was something broken? I desperately wanted him to do something to at least show he was still alive.

Jun and Minghao, the other forwards, got to him first, kneeling next to him until the trainer finally reached him. I was vaguely aware of Mingyu and Seungkwan holding Seungcheol back as he yelled at the other team, but I couldn’t look away from Chan. From my angle, I could only see him reach his arm out, but I felt like I could finally breathe again. He was alive, at least.

The trainer spoke to him for a minute or two, then apparently decided he could be moved. Jun and Minghao helped him up and half carried him off the field, setting him on the table the trainer had set up to treat the athletes. It was foolish, but all I wanted to do was run over there, to see with my own eyes that he was okay.

After another time out, this time by the other team, the game started again. I couldn’t pay attention to anything, only watching Chan from across the field as the trainer made him go through yet more exercises, finally gesturing for him to follow her to the athletics building. I tried to decide if that was a good thing or not. It meant that he was well enough to walk on his own, but what did she need in the building? Did he need specialized treatment?

I had given up on paying attention to the match. The second half ended with the score still tied but all I could think of was Chan, suffering alone.

“Screw it,” I muttered. I pushed off the fence, walking towards the building with long strides. I’d been there more than a few times with Chan while we were hanging out before practice, sometimes wandering the building but often while he got treatment in the trainer’s office. Sometimes it felt like I was around Chan so much that I might as well be a part of the team.

I knew exactly where the office was. A week ago I wouldn’t have been nervous making this trip. I probably wouldn’t have left the stands at such an intense match, though I might have been a little worried. Everything had changed so quickly. I could feel adrenaline coursing through my veins as if I had been the one on the field playing.

I got to the trainer’s office and froze. Normally I would walk in without a thought to it, but I was suddenly not sure of anything. What if he just wanted to be alone? Or what if he didn’t want me there?

I decided I would at least rather see that he was alive. I knocked once then opened the door.

“Yn,” the trainer said with a warm smile. She’d been so happy when I told her I was interested in athletic medicine, inviting me to come with Chan whenever I wanted. The whole summer she’d been hinting at a relationship between me and Chan, despite both of our protests.

I waved, looking for Chan. He was laying on one of the tables on his stomach shirtless, wires hooked up to something on his back covered by ice packs, his eyes closed, looking like he was asleep.

“Is he okay?” I asked softly.

“Oh he’s fine,” she answered. “And he’s not sleeping, I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.” His eyes flicked open and he glared at her.

“Well, I need to see if anyone else decided to get hurt while you get pampered,” she said. “I’ll be back in like five minutes, so just don’t die.” Chan gave her a thumbs up and she was gone.

I pulled a chair next to his table, leaning against the side. Chan’s arm only a few inches away from mine.

“Did we win?” He asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“That’s seriously all you want to know? You’re not even going to tell me if you’re okay?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” I said, “I have no idea, it went into overtime so I came here.” He was silent. “Are you okay?“ I asked again.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I got the wind knocked the fuck out of me. Seriously, I’ve been hit before but that hurt. You need to check my chest for shoulder marks later.”

My cheeks flushed at the thought of being in front of him while he was shirtless, and I was happy his face was pressed into the leather cushion. I’d seen him shirtless plenty of times, but thinking about it now…

“What’s this?” I asked, brushing my fingers lightly on the wires, trying not to think about brushing them against the bare skin of his back.

“Stim,” he said. “My back was sore from getting knocked into the ground by that asshole and I just thought it would feel nice.” He turned his head at an awkward angle so that he could look at me. I could only meet his gaze for a few seconds before I looked away.

“Do you think it’s over yet?” He asked, breaking the silence that lasted for nearly a minute.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt and you’re still more worried about the game? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Hey I am concussion free!” Chan said. “She did the test and everything. I just- I want to know if we won or not! It’s important that we don’t lose to assholes that body slam people!”

He was right, but I had known Chan for too long. He was lying.

“Besides, since when have you been worried about me?” He turned so that he could see me. “When I almost broke my wrist two years ago you said you would rather die than miss the end of the game.”

“That was playoffs!”

“We were up by four goals!”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but he was right. I was different now. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I’m not always the best friend to you.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Chan said immediately, brushing his hand against mine. He looked so uncomfortable trying to face me while laying flat on his stomach. I slipped out of the chair, sitting on the floor in front of the table so that he could look straight at me, trying not to think about how he almost held on to my hand.

We stayed like that for a moment, Chan staring into my eyes and me staring right back. In the end I couldn’t take his gaze, looking down at the tile floor and realizing the pattern was really fascinating, even if it was clearly from 1990.

“I’m sorry,” Chan said. “I’m not upset about something from two years ago. I just… I want to tell you something but I don’t know if it’s right and they said I should do it when it’s right but I have no idea what that means, and then they said that maybe it wouldn’t ever be right, so I just… I don’t know.”

I could feel all of my courage crumbling as I looked back at him, dark eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I felt like he could see right through me.

“Chan…” I said. “You’re my best friend. I’ve known you for so long I don’t think I know who I am without you, and I think that’s what really scares me. You’re like this weird carrot that’s grown next to my carrot and we’ve coiled around each other and they exist on their own as separate carrots, but if they aren’t together, it just looks lonely.”

I peeked at Chan and he was frowning. Not my best metaphor. “I’m trying to say that I don’t like who I am without you. You mean everything to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he said slowly.

I groaned. “You’re not getting it! I’m trying to tell you that I like you, Chan!”

He quiet for a moment. “Yn, did you just confess to me while I’m laying on a table after being knocked out?”

“When you put it like that…” I stared at my hands. So that’s what I felt like to ruin everything.

“Yn.”

I wondered if I could successfully vanish, maybe start a new life raising sheep in Mongolia.

“Hey,” Chan said, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“I feel so much better,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Thank you for that.”

“Please look me in the eyes for this,” Chan said. As much as I wanted to dig a hole and rot away in it, I couldn’t deny him this, especially not when he was using such a gentle yet firm tone. I forced myself to meet his eyes, finding comfort in the familiarity, even if I knew everything had changed and it was my fault.

“I have been trying to tell you I like you for months and you do it in pretty much the least romantic way possible,” he said. “Seriously, there are electrical impulses being shot down my back.”

“I take it back, I feel nothing,” I said, standing up.

He laughed, that stupid, infectious laugh that never failed to make me smile, reaching out and catching my hand. “Can you give me like five seconds to at least be sitting upright?”

I nodded, still facing the door so that he couldn’t see my smile.

“I might need some help, actually,” Chan said after a moment. “This stuff is kinda stuck to my back.”

I turned to him, taking in the situation. He’d gotten the ice packs off but the pads for stim were stuck to his back. This wasn’t the first time I’d helped him with stim, in fact I’d done it for half the team (albeit usually on their knees or shoulders). Helping Chan now, my cheeks were probably bright red, fingers tingling every time they brushed against his skin. The four pads came off easily and I stuck them back onto the plastic they normally were stuck to, turning off the machine and putting everything back where it should be. When I turned around, Chan was sitting up rolling his shoulders back. If my face wasn’t already a tomato it was now. Chan laughed as I looked anywhere but at him.

“You’re not going to check for shoulder marks?” He asked. He was probably batting his eyes and pretending to be innocent.

I glanced him over, trying hard to force my eyes past his bare chest, then tossed his shirt at him. “Shoulder mark free.”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look very hard and-”

“Oh my god, Chan, just put on the shirt!”

He laughed, pulling it over his head. “You’re so easy to tease.” He caught my hands when I tried to step away again, gently tugging on them so that I was facing him while he still sat on the table.

“Yn,” he said softly, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you how I felt. We’d go to that cafe, or sometimes I planned it for the library, and once I even planned to try to tell you on the field. None of them worked because every time I saw you I couldn’t figure out a way to get the words in my heart out so that you could hear them.” He held my gaze and I knew he wasn’t lying. I hadn’t lasted a week with these feelings. How had Chan been able to stand it?

“I really, really like you,” Chan said. “And I-”

The door was slammed open and all of a sudden the room was filled with noise. I let go of one of his hands as half the team came streaming in. With the hand he still held, Chan pulled me closer to him until I was shoulder to shoulder with him, lacing his fingers with mine.

“Chan you’re alive!” Seokmin shouted.

“Yeah I was going to go to the light but I remembered you guys are hopeless without me.”

“Hopeless?” Soonyoung laughed. “Just for that I’m not telling you who won.”

“I don’t think that matters anymore,” Jeonghan said, gesturing to me and Chan.

“Hey!” Seokmin shouted. “That’s cheating!”

“What’s going on?” I whispered in Chan’s ear.

“I’ll explain later,” he whispered back, then said to everyone, “I appreciate your concern for my love life, but seriously, did we win or not?”

Seungcheol leaned against the counter with a smug smile. “You think we’d let a team like that win?”

Chan grinned, turning to me. I hoped he couldn’t hear how loud my heart was beating when he turned his gaze on me like that. “Yn, will you go on a date with me?”

I forgot about the team who were hollering around us, forgot about the game, forgot about everything except me and Chan. “Of course.”

Chan only let go of my hand once as we walked back to the apartment, and it was only to let me put on his sweatshirt. As soon as I pulled my arms through the sleeves, his hand was back in mine. It should have felt weird to be this intimate after a lifetime of friendship. It felt like we should have been like this from the beginning.

“You’re sure you feel the same way?“ Chan asked.

“If you ask me one more time I’m going to change my mind,” I said.

“I’m sorry,” he said, squeezing my hand. “I had resigned myself to being your b-f ‘best friend,’ not b-f ‘boyfriend.’”

“First of all, Seungkwan is my best friend,” I said.

“Um, wrong, I’ve known you for longer.”

“That’s not the point but I have a feeling you’re going to win this one so I’m just going to give up now.” I turned to look him in the eyes. “But seriously, how long have you liked me? And don’t you dare say from the moment I met you or some bullshit because I know that’s not true.”

“No, I’m not that dramatic. I think the moment I realized it was at graduation.” He smiled at the memory, pausing on the sidewalk.

“Do you remember how we went straight from the ceremony to the beach and that first night we stayed up all night talking about the future and we watched the sunrise over the water?” He waited for my nod. “I remember listening to you talk about your life plans and realizing how lucky I am to know you, and then realizing that I couldn’t imagine my life without you in it.

“Do you know how magical you looked watching the sunrise? I know it’s the cheesiest line ever, but you really were prettier than the sunrise and ever since then I haven’t been able to think of anyone but you.” Chan smiled and my heart felt like it was going to explode. I leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips, then suddenly felt shy, turning and continuing to walk. Chan didn’t move until I was tugging on his hand.

“Your turn,” he said after a few moments passed and the heat in my cheeks had finally died down. “When did you realize?”

“Last week,” I said. “Right before you left for the tournament you asked for a kiss goodbye, and I thought it was just a joke but then I spent all weekend thinking about your lips and about how that’s definitely not best friend thoughts, and then I started thinking about you and then I realized that for everything in my life I go to you, and you are the only person in the world who knows how to make me smile when I am having a horrible day, and you don’t complain when I’m being mean or grumpy, and you are the only person I could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with.

“I know it’s not as romantic as watching the sunrise with you and maybe you think these five days aren’t long enough to feel anything as strong as you, but, Chan, I swear I know my heart and you are the only one in it, and the only one that will ever be in it.” It was terrifying to say these things out loud, but I turned to Chan and he had the biggest smile on his face.

He stepped closer to me until there were only a few inches between us, bringing one hand to my cheek. “Can I kiss you?” He asked so softly I almost didn’t hear it.

I nodded, closing my eyes as he leaned closer, nose brushing against mine, and it was not a gentle kiss like mine had been. His hand slid to the back of my head, the other one finally letting go and slipping to hold my waist. I wrapped my own arms around his neck, pulling him as close as I could.

Chan pulled away first, though his arms stayed wrapped around me. “Feedback?”

I laughed, burying my head in his chest. ‘Feedback’ was always for class presentations, or how I thought he did in his last game. “Only if you tell me why your team calls you Dino.”

I disentangled myself from his arms, lacing our fingers back together and beginning to walk again.

“You better not be mad about that because it’s your fault,” he said, catching up to me easily. “Seokmin and Soonyoung saw you spamming me with those dinosaur stickers while we were at an away game and I had to explain to them that you made the nickname when we were six and already a cruel monster.”

“It’s not my fault you cried unless you brought your stuffie to school with you.”

“Don’t you dare tell them that part!” He said. “They’ll never let it go, it’s bad enough I have Seungkwan holding it over me.”

I laughed. “You haven’t explained what was going on in the training room either, by the way.”

“Right.” I glanced at him and he avoided my eyes.

“What is it?”

“It’s embarrassing,” he whined.

“More embarrassing than getting dumped fifteen minutes after the relationship started?”

“You wouldn’t,” Chan said and he was right, but it still worked because he let out a dramatic sigh and kept walking. “Do you remember last week after we lost and we went out to eat and you asked me about what we say in the pregame huddles?” He waited until I nodded to continue. “Well, apparently my crush was obvious to everyone other than you and Seokmin and Soonyoung specifically were determined to ‘help’ me confess so they thought it would be funny to say ‘when we win Chan has to tell yn how he feels,’ but then we lost and someone said that maybe we just weren’t meant to be and it was a joke, but I’ve been overthinking it since then.

“Then today, Seungcheol said it, and I think it was supposed to be a joke but everyone took it really seriously and I don’t know, I really felt like if we didn’t win today then maybe we really wouldn’t ever work out.

“But then you showed up and confessed to me in the least romantic way possible and I realized how dumb I was,” Chan said, grinning.

“You’re kind of an idiot,” I said.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot,” he said, leaning into me.

“You’re ridiculous.” I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile.

He snuck closer, pressing a kiss to my cheek, then wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t think of any more insults to throw at him, so I leaned into him.

“So, are you going to give me feedback on my kissing or not?”

“I’m not sure, I think I need to try again before forming an opinion.”

Chan laughed, turning to face me with a smile that could break hearts. “You better pay attention this time.” He kissed me and I was floating.

When I finally pushed back, he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

“Two out of ten, honestly, I’m disappointed, I thought you could do better than this,” I said, pushing his arms off of me before I could react and sprinting away.

“Hey!” He shouted. “I’m still handicapped! I got knocked out today!” Despite his protests, he caught up to me easily, wrapping his arms around me from behind, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“Want to try again?”

“Hm, nope,” I said, giggling when he wrapped his arms even tighter.

“You are so lucky I love you,” he said, pressing another kiss on my cheek. I wondered if he noticed that he let the word slip. I settled my hands on his arms, holding him to me just as tightly as he was. There was a gentle breeze in the air, the streetlights warm and cozy, and I decided I would spend the rest of my life like this, me and Chan, together.

#🌟 stars galaxy #seventeen #seventeen x reader #svt #svt x reader #dino #lee chan #dino x reader #lee chan x reader #fluff #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #svt reader #seventeen fanfiction #seventeen fanfic #soccer boys!#chan x reader #dino fluff #chan fluff

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freakshowtwopointoh · 2 months

Text

A Gathering Storm - All I've Ever Known Part 10

The wind is changing

There's a storm coming on

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And that’s when Sam stepped out of the shadows. I was frozen in place, staring at my brother, unable to process what I was seeing. At first, I thought it must have been a hallucination. Some strange combination of lack of sleep and stress had caused me to imagine my younger brother standing in this dingy room. But he didn’t look exactly as he did in my memory - he looked thinner, warier. And his clothes... entirely unfamiliar. I just looked at him for a minute - trying to comprehend the truth I had always felt but not always believed.

“Sam?” I said, my voice cracking as I stared. And then I was sprinting across the room, throwing my arms around his neck, hugging him as tight as I could. “Oh my god, Sam, you’re alive.” My heart was thudding against my ribcage, tears streaming down my face without interruption. “I fucking knew it.”

“Heya, Mags.” Sam muttered, and I swear hearing his voice just made me cry harder. I was vaguely aware of Jordan muttering something to Hughie but it didn’t matter to me. I pulled back, taking in his face. We’d both been through hell in the past year, but here we were.

“How long have you been here? Why didn’t you find me? They said you were dead, Sam. You have a grave. There was a funeral. How-” I hugged him tight again, being pulled back and forth between anger and relief. “What happened?” I asked finally.

“They were experimenting on me. I was only there for a few days before The Boys broke in, looking for information. They got me out, and I’ve been working with them and hiding out here since then.” He sounded tired, his voice worn and gruff. “But it wasn’t safe. For any of us. I’m sorry, Mags. It had to be this way.” My jaw clenched involuntarily.

“I know.” He sounded exhausted and strained - like he was holding back a lot of emotions, or like he was feeling too many things at once.

“It hasn’t been safe either way, Sam. I...” What could I even tell him? Dad’s friends gave me a bad vibe at a fancy party? Bad things happened months ago and I still don’t really understand them? I sighed.

“What do you mean, you know? What do you know?” My heart rattled in my chest as I tried to process the situation. Now that the shock of seeing Sam has dissipated somewhat, I was reminded of the reason I was so desperate to find anyone else outside of Vought. I pulled back to look him in the eye. The walls were closing in around me and I was slowly realizing how trapped I truly was. I used to say I’d never want to change the past - even the bad stuff. But I wish I could go back to the day Grace found me and scream at my past self, tell her not to listen to anything that comes out of any of their mouths. “Do you know something about the gala? Or...” I searched his face for answers I was almost positive he didn’t have.

“We don’t know much. Once I saw that phony-ass interview with you and Luke, I knew something happened.” My heart constricted painfully, understanding the unspoken message: you broke our promise. Late nights spent crying together when his head got too loud, when my fears got to be too much - we pinky promised to stick together, and to make our own way.

The third worst night of my life was a night when we were in high school together. Sam, barely 14, sobbing in my arms as I tried desperately to convince him not to leave me. I had found his note - a heart-wrenching apology for the troubles he believed he caused us. I promised to stick by him, swore that we would make our own way.

“This is our life, Sammy. We can do whatever we want. We’ll build our own future, and Dad can suck it.” I said firmly, forcing my voice not to crack as I ran my fingers through his curls.

“But -”

“No buts, Sam. Let’s make a promise: we make our own way.” I said, offering him my pinky.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“What happened? I checked on you, you know. After I got free. And everything was normal. Then a few months later, everything changed, and you’re back to playing along with all their games.” He was trying to keep his voice neutral but I could tell he was bitter. And he has every right to be. I looked away guiltily.

“It’s complicated.” I said vaguely, still not able to meet his eyes. And before he could push it further, Jordan came over and cleared their throat awkwardly. “Oh, Sam, this is Jordan. They’re a friend of mine, and they’ve been helping me. We live off-campus with Luke, Cate, and Luke’s friend Andre. Jordan, Sam.” This was definitely not how I’d imagined the two meeting - the circumstances were not great for making friends. They eyed each other warily. Sam in particular looked apprehensive, trying to get a read on Jordan in the dim light.

“We’re going to stay here tonight - it’s already kind of late. We can head back to the townhouse tomorrow, yeah?” They said to me, before smiling at Sam again. “It’s nice to meet you, man. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“From who?” He asked, eyeing them nervously. I gave him a pointed look.

“Take a wild guess.” I said, smiling wryly. “Anyways, if we’re spending the night here, do you guys have any food? I’m starved.”

After a few frozen pizzas and a bit of whiskey, it seemed like the whole room let out a breath of relief. Hughie’s eyes were darting around the room about half as much, and I think I noticed Frenchie and Jordan sharing a cigarette. It felt... nice. I’d imagined it so many times but actually being in a comfortable space with both Sam and Jordan just felt right. And I felt more like myself than I ever had in a group this large. I was smiling and laughing and I didn’t care that I wasn’t sitting up straight or I was talking too much. At first, I thought it was just being with Sam again, but it was deeper than that. Even the people I just met felt safe. Like they could see me at my worst, and I wouldn’t run and hide.

I was leaning back, listening to the conversation without really listening, when Jordan reached over to fix my collar. My breath hitched, a shiver running up my spine. I just hoped they didn’t notice the way my cheeks were tinged pink the rest of the night.

And as I lay on the ratty old couch, wrapped in a scratchy wool blanket and half asleep, I found myself thanking whoever or whatever was watching over me. Because I got my brother back. I still don’t feel like it feels real, and yet it feels more real than anything else I’ve been through in the past year.

Breakfast was a quiet but enjoyable affair, coffee poured and food made as if it was any normal morning. I left my number with Sam, making him promise to text me when he could.

“You know, it’s not like I’ve got an iPhone out here, Maggie.” I rolled my eyes at him.

“You can call me too, idiot.” He sent me a playful glare but he was smiling. I could still see the questions in his eyes - questions I did not want to answer. “Keep me in the loop, yeah?” He nodded.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. We’ll let you know if we find anything. Stay safe. Love ya.”

“Love you too, Sammy. Stay sharp.” He gave me a final nod.

“Now get outta here! I’m sure you have homework to do or whatever.” I rolled my eyes. There’s no way in hell I’ll be able to focus on anything when I get home.

“Thank you guys!” I called out. Jordan had stayed quiet as usual, waving casually at the ragtag group of vigilantes. We walked a few blocks away before calling an Uber, a heavy silence falling between us.

“Well, we didn’t get killed.” I said. “But other than that, I have absolutely no idea how to feel right now. One big question answered, but now I have about a hundred new questions.”

“Tell me about it.” Their voice was nonchalant, but they were looking at me intently.

“Just trying to figure out if you’ll be able to act normal in about... 15 minutes?” I rolled my eyes, flipping them off.

“I can feel you psycho-analyzing me with your eyes.” I said, sending them an exasperated look.

“I’ve been lying to Luke for most of my life. I’ll be fine.” I said. Jordan quirked an eyebrow but said nothing as we clambered into the backseat of the Uber.

But it would turn out that he would not be asking us any questions at all. Because as we entered the townhouse, Luke was inconsolable on the ground, and Cate was convulsing next to Andre. Jordan and I rushed to Cate’s side, trying to see what caused the seizure. And then, the house disappeared.

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#jordan li #gen v #gen v prime #gen v fic #angst #luke riordan #lukes little sister x jordan li #jordan li x oc #gen v fanfic #gen v fanfiction #gen v amazon

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notwhatiam · 1 year

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OKAY.

So.

I was on a call with my parents today.

We were talking about the Inside Job cancellation, because I’ve been really upset about it and they were actually the ones who got me into the show in the first place. I was saying how weird and unfair it was that it just got pulled out of the blue, when my dad chimed in with something along the lines of, “yeah, but it’s not as though this kind of thing hasn’t happened to the show before. Remember that episode from the end of Part 1 that Netflix ended up taking down?”

And I was immediately like

And my mom and dad were like, “yeah, you don’t remember? That episode at the end of the first part of Season 1. The one with Reagan’s childhood friend that Rand erased from her memory.”

I said, yeah, the part where Reagan goes into her own mind and discovers that she had a friend named Orrin that Rand made her forget. At the end of the episode, she goes back to the present and uses his name as the password to shut down Bear-O and save her friends. That episode is still on Netflix. It didn’t go anywhere.

They were like, “no, but then there’s another episode AFTER that. The one where we find out what actually HAPPENED to Orrin.”

According to them, there was a lost eleventh episode after Inside Reagan. This episode revealed that Rand had trapped Orrin in a cartoon-inspired play land where he had been stuck for the last twenty years. Everyone in the real world thought he had died, and his dad had turned into a broken-down shell of a man over the loss of his son. Reagan and Rand ended up going into the cartoon world to try to save him, and they found out that Orrin had been surviving the whole time by breeding with the cartoon creatures and eating their offspring. They said that they were really confused when they went back to rewatch the first season and the episode wasn’t there, but they could also understand why it had been taken down, because it was honestly one of the most disturbing pieces of television that they had ever seen.

At this point in the conversation, I just assumed that they were messing with me. It’s not like they don’t have a history of pulling twisted shit like this (for context: my dad told me to start watching Inside Job in the first place because he relates to Rand and thought I’d relate to Reagan, and he was 100% right), so I asked them straight-up if they were trying to play some kind of prank. A “ha-ha, you made your own Mandela-effect-style conspiracy” type of prank. They swore up and down that they weren’t lying, and that they both distinctly remembered watching this episode together. They were shocked that I had never seen it, and the entire time over the past year and a half that we’ve been talking about the show, they had thought that this was a part of our shared experience.

So commenced the weirdest Googling spree that I have ever been a part of. I looked for “Inside Job lost episode”, “Inside Job episode 11”, and then a lot of stuff like, “kid gets trapped in cartoon world and mates with creatures to eat their offspring” (which provided a LOT of results, but nothing useful for any purpose except probably for sending the FBI to my house). My parents kept searching for stuff based on details that they could recall from the episode (for example: they remembered a specific moment where Reagan jumped off a cliff and discovered that the ground was bouncy), but they couldn’t find anything on their end. I asked them if they were absolutely sure that this was part of Inside Job, and they weren’t just mixing it up with another show. They were both completely certain that it had been Inside Job, and my parents don’t watch that much animation, so it would have been pretty hard for them to draw on anything else. I went through the Tumblr tag for Orrin Carthwait again, and it was all speculation about what COULD have happened to him, which meant that nobody else had seen this mystery episode, either. Besides, I love this show, and I practically live on Inside Job Tumblr, so if a lost episode existed somewhere, I have a really hard time believing that I wouldn’t have come across it. We’ve been on the phone for an hour at this point. My parents are going through their Netflix history trying to figure out what the fuck they watched. Meanwhile, I’m just lying face-down on the floor having a meltdown because I’m convinced that my parents and I live in different realities. The thing was, it wasn’t a totally impossible scenario? The story did seem to fit together fairly well with the parts of the show that I knew. Also, there’s an episode of Gravity Falls (which was made by a lot of the same people who made Inside Job, and contains a lot of similar themes) where Mabel gets trapped in a cartoonish fantasy land that sounds fairly similar:

So, maybe it was possible that Inside Job contained the more adult version? There’s also the fact that Alex Hirsch did that thing where he basically long-form gaslit the GF fandom back in the day by releasing fake footage of a nonexistent spoiler to throw people off the trail when theories started getting too accurate (I’m too lazy to find a post to link; just look it up if you don’t know about this). Maybe the creators were trying to mess with people by releasing an episode to only a handful of viewers and then yanking it, thus creating a conspiracy about the show in itself? Still, it wouldn’t make sense that EVERY trace of the episode would be wiped from existence. You’d think somebody would be talking about it somewhere. I started wondering if maybe it was possible that I HAD actually seen it, and just didn’t remember it. The thing was, it did actually sound really familiar, and some of the details my parents were describing felt way too clear in my mind. Did I just block it out? Where was it, then? I was absolutely losing my fucking mind at this point, so I started a last-ditch effort to just go through any adult animation shows I could think of and read the synopses of every single episode to see if one matched the description. And finally, FINALLY,

I found the bitch.

It’s Rick and Morty, Season 3, Episode 9: “The ABCs of Beth.”

It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, so I guess I forgot most of the details. Rewatching it back, though, it’s undoubtedly the same story that my parents were describing. The episode is about Beth discovering that Rick trapped her childhood friend, Tommy, in a fantasy play land of his own design called “Froopyland”. She goes back to try to save him, and discovers that he’s been surviving there the whole time by mating with the Froopyland creatures and then eating their kids. The story is basically about Beth coming to terms with the fact that, while her dad is a really fucked-up person, she isn’t entirely unlike him (for better or worse). Honestly, I can understand why my parents’ minds conflated this episode with the ending of Inside Job. The design of Tommy:

Could conceivably be an adult Orrin:

And a lot of the themes about dysfunctional family and fucked-up childhoods (including missing childhood friends) are actually incredibly similar.

Still, I can’t believe that I was actually briefly led to think that there was a lost episode of my favorite show that I had never seen, which was either purged from the collective consciousness or deleted from my own personal memory. This is the worst thing that my parents have ever done. If I ever go to a therapist, they’ll be hearing about this first.

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charlottehpfics · 6 months

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kiss me but it’s wrong…a Draco Malfoy fic (part 4)

A/N: I won’t be posting part 5 until Jan 15 or so. I just need a break real quick. Hope y’all understand!

Draco Malfoy x fem!reader warnings: Fluff, angst, reader is wearing a gown, cheating, aftermath of the battle, swearing. lmk if I missed smth.

summary: read the previous parts first and see the summary on pt 1.

“This is so wrong,” you heard Draco whisper, and thinking he was going to leave you then and there, you pulled away with a small sigh. “I know, I’ll leave if you want.” you wanted to say something, anything, other than what you were saying, but no. you couldn’t. it was going to be up to Draco. “No! Not that,” he hurriedly said. “It’s the fact that I went to date Astoria just because I thought you died. I wouldn’t even be able to fucking face you if you didn’t come to me just now…”

you cupped his face. Draco was always like this- deep in his thoughts. Not in the way Luna Lovegood was. He wallowed in his regrets and hateful memories instead of dreams and carefree thoughts. “Astoria will understand, won’t she?” Draco didn’t seem to hear you. Or maybe he was pretending not to. You would’ve done the latter if you were him. “I only loved her because she was so much like you- not that anything can replace you, I now realize. I was so… entangled inside my own sadness…but her smile looked so much like yours, and I swore I could see you inside her face. But now I don’t, I never will again.”

and that was when you heard a click, the turn of a doorknob, and a gasp that sounded half-betrayed, half-tearful. it belonged to the woman you and Draco were just talking about. “I heard everything!” she sniffled, her eyebrows pinched together with emotion as her lips quivered. Draco would have called her pathetic if this had happened before the battle, but his now much more mature self could only stare her down with a sharp expression. “You never loved me!” She softly whispered, her eyes full of faraway curses and shallow heartbreak. “What do you mean, you loved me because I reminded you of her!” Astoria wailed. She didn’t even want to say your name, and that made you slightly uncomfortable on the spot in front of the two. “You trapped me!” Draco yelled at last, marching forward to shield you from Astoria. She looked…weird at best, with tears dribbling down her cheeks, her usually tidy hair all over the place.

“When I wanted to visit a therapist, you told me that it would be best for me to talk to you!” He shouted. “Like you’d ever help! Every time I told you about my past experiences, you’d respond so blandly I’d think you were bored or something. And when I brought up the trauma of being in his ranks, as a Dea- follower, you’d whimper with disgust. And whenever I brought up the Slytherin friends I lost, physically or socially, including Y/N, you’d turn your nose up and haughtily declare that they deserved it.”

PART 5 COMING JAN 16 2024

#draco lucius malfoy #cedric diggory #fred weasley #george weasley #gryffindor #harry potter #hp boys x reader #hp imagines #hpboysreact #ron weasley #Slytherin #draco x reader #draco x y/n #draco x you

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starstuddeddsky · 2 years

Text

Shall We?

gn reader x chan

summary: having a crush on your best friend made everything more complicated. would you be able to tell him how you felt, or will you be stuck in this limbo forever?

genre: fluff, tiny bit of angst, university au, sports au, non idol au

warnings: none, inaccurate soccer, both main characters are dumb?

wc: 6.3k

title: Shall We? - CHEN

“Are you finished yet?”

Seungkwan laughed. “All I’m saying is that I have been saying that you have been in love with him for years.”

“I take offense to that.”

Seungkwan patted me on the back. “Don’t you think you’re being a little dramatic?”

“I have been friends with Chan my entire life,” I said, raising myself from the cushion. “I think it’s worth being dramatic over.”

“What if it were me? And we were fighting and you were worried we would never be friends again?”

“Ew, gross,” I said automatically. “No offense, but I’d be glad to be rid of you.”

“No one,” I mumbled.

“That’s what I thought.” Seungkwan sounded smug. “Now, I’m going to assume confessing is out of the question?”

“Don’t even joke about it,” I hugged the pillow against my chest.

Seungkwan whipped his phone out, snapping a picture. “Sorry, I’ve literally never seen you this vulnerable, and I’m going to need blackmail at some point.”

“You are the worst, I gave you the best blackmail in the world, do you really need a picture, too?”

“Oh, yn, I can never have enough blackmail.” Not for the first time, I was scared of Seungkwan.

“Can’t you just give me advice?” I asked. “Weren’t you known for being the love doctor or whatever in high school?”

“You’re worthless,” I said, sliding onto the floor.

“Wow, I was just about to offer you food as compensation,” Seungkwan sighed.

“Did I ever tell you that you are my best friend in the entire world?”

It technically wasn’t a lie, but all I did was I sit in my dorm, staring at the door, watching the seconds pass by one at a time. I wondered if he would even notice if I wasn’t there.

“Don’t you have to go?” My roommate asked. “The game starts in like five minutes.”

When I didn’t answer, she said, “You’re usually at every game like half an hour early. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged. “I’m that predictable?”

She smiled. “Did you and Chan fight?”

“No, nothing like that!” I paused. “Wait, why did you ask about Chan?”

“You’re going to be late,” she said, turning back to her desk.

I was torn between questioning exactly why she thought something happened between me and Chan or going to the game. I decided going to the game would at least involve less conflict.

“Usually it’s just, like, ‘let’s get this done,’ or repeating something coach said about the other team,” he said. “But every once in a while it’s something dumb.”

“Like what?”

“Like jokes and bets between us,” he said, taking a sudden interest in the forks at the restaurant. We had gone out to eat after they lost their first game of the season.

“What was it today?”

He shrugged, shoving the food on his plate around. “Nothing interesting.”

1-1

The lower the time got, the more desperate each team was. We somehow still held control of the ball for two full minutes, still unable to get a shot off.

I had given up on paying attention to the match. The second half ended with the score still tied but all I could think of was Chan, suffering alone.

I decided I would at least rather see that he was alive. I knocked once then opened the door.

I waved, looking for Chan. He was laying on one of the tables on his stomach shirtless, wires hooked up to something on his back covered by ice packs, his eyes closed, looking like he was asleep.

“Is he okay?” I asked softly.

“Oh he’s fine,” she answered. “And he’s not sleeping, I don’t know who he thinks he’s fooling.” His eyes flicked open and he glared at her.

I pulled a chair next to his table, leaning against the side. Chan’s arm only a few inches away from mine.

“Did we win?” He asked before I had a chance to say anything.

“That’s seriously all you want to know? You’re not even going to tell me if you’re okay?”

“That’s not an answer.”

“Fine,” I said, “I have no idea, it went into overtime so I came here.” He was silent. “Are you okay?“ I asked again.

He let out a dramatic sigh. “I got the wind knocked the fuck out of me. Seriously, I’ve been hit before but that hurt. You need to check my chest for shoulder marks later.”

“What’s this?” I asked, brushing my fingers lightly on the wires, trying not to think about brushing them against the bare skin of his back.

“Do you think it’s over yet?” He asked, breaking the silence that lasted for nearly a minute.

“You could have gotten seriously hurt and you’re still more worried about the game? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head?”

“Hey I am concussion free!” Chan said. “She did the test and everything. I just- I want to know if we won or not! It’s important that we don’t lose to assholes that body slam people!”

He was right, but I had known Chan for too long. He was lying.

“That was playoffs!”

“We were up by four goals!”

I opened my mouth to argue back, but he was right. I was different now. I just didn’t have the guts to tell him why.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I’m not always the best friend to you.”

I could feel all of my courage crumbling as I looked back at him, dark eyes filled with an emotion I couldn’t decipher. I felt like he could see right through me.

I peeked at Chan and he was frowning. Not my best metaphor. “I’m trying to say that I don’t like who I am without you. You mean everything to me.”

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he said slowly.

I groaned. “You’re not getting it! I’m trying to tell you that I like you, Chan!”

He quiet for a moment. “Yn, did you just confess to me while I’m laying on a table after being knocked out?”

“When you put it like that…” I stared at my hands. So that’s what I felt like to ruin everything.

“Yn.”

I wondered if I could successfully vanish, maybe start a new life raising sheep in Mongolia.

“Hey,” Chan said, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. “You’re an idiot.”

“I feel so much better,” I said, burying my face in my hands. “Thank you for that.”

“I take it back, I feel nothing,” I said, standing up.

He laughed, that stupid, infectious laugh that never failed to make me smile, reaching out and catching my hand. “Can you give me like five seconds to at least be sitting upright?”

I nodded, still facing the door so that he couldn’t see my smile.

“I might need some help, actually,” Chan said after a moment. “This stuff is kinda stuck to my back.”

“You’re not going to check for shoulder marks?” He asked. He was probably batting his eyes and pretending to be innocent.

I glanced him over, trying hard to force my eyes past his bare chest, then tossed his shirt at him. “Shoulder mark free.”

“Are you sure, because you didn’t look very hard and-”

“Oh my god, Chan, just put on the shirt!”

“Yn,” he said softly, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “I had a whole plan of how I was going to tell you how I felt. We’d go to that cafe, or sometimes I planned it for the library, and once I even planned to try to tell you on the field. None of them worked because every time I saw you I couldn't figure out a way to get the words in my heart out so that you could hear them.” He held my gaze and I knew he wasn’t lying. I hadn’t lasted a week with these feelings. How had Chan been able to stand it?