#I think im projecting too much onto them

[sageofthestarz]

Looking through my wips rn thinking ya'know maybe I am a whore at heart

[even-disco-baby]

YOU — “No. There is still a chance.”

DOLORES DEI — “You think so?” Her voice is weary.

EMPATHY — Everything about her is weary. She is the Innocence of weariness, of heroically borne suffering.

CONCEPTUALIZATION — That is the picture you have painted for yourself, at any rate.

YOU — “You looked back. That’s the memory, the moment, that I can’t stop returning to. You looked back. I had a chance, for just that moment…”

DOLORES DEI — She meets your eye, gaze still forever cast back over her shoulder. Time stops. The stars are stilled, the ocean silent. There is *nothing* beyond this memory. Nothing at all. All of infinity is contained in this single moment when anything and everything was possible.

“Oh, Harry…” She sighs, soft as eiderdown. “We never had any chance.”

And just like that, the wave of time collapses under its own weight, obliterating everything. This moment was six years ago. She is gone from here. Gone, gone…

PAIN THRESHOLD — You cannot leave. There was nothing outside of this moment, and now there is nothing at all. It’s all gone. There is no point. I’m sorry. I can’t do this any longer.

VOLITION — Please, don’t say that…

“Okay. Well, fuck me, then.”

“How would *you* know?! You gave up! You didn’t even try!”

“We *must* have had a chance, at some point… Doesn’t everyone get a chance, if nothing more?”

“How could you say that…?”

DOLORES DEI — “Because it’s true,” she says, matter-of-fact. “There is no moment in time that you can turn back to, no branching paths, no infinity. There is only what happened. I looked back… and then away.” She closes her eyes, turning her back to you.

“The moment ended. *We* ended. That is all.”

SHIVERS — A wave crashes against an unseen shore, ocean spray tickling the back of your neck. You shiver, but no one shivers with you. You are alone in this intersection. Why are you here?

“Why can’t *I* end?! Why can’t this all just stop? Please, make it stop…”

“Ended? I’ve barely even started! I got a chance to start completely over as somebody new! I don’t need you anymore! You’re just dead weight to me now.”

“No. That wasn’t the real ending. We’re a part of something so much bigger than this intersection, telling a story that encapsulates all of history! There’s *more* to this, it *means* something.”

“Then… What am I supposed to do now…?”

DOLORES DEI — “No, Harry.” She turns back to you again now, and she looks… sad.

“We were not metaphors. We were people. Our narrative was not intelligently designed. It simply followed the patterns of history, because those are the only patterns we *know.* We tried to create something new, but we failed. There is no narrative reward for our failure, no satisfactory ending. There is only the immutable past and the unknowable future.”

RHETORIC — There is no assurance of what is good or deserved or what may bring relief. There is no assurance of punishment, either. There is no assurance of anything. Not even of a future. I don’t know what to say to make this bearable.

VOLITION — Even so… As long as you live, *something* is promised. Can you live with that?

I can’t, I just can’t do this anymore…

I can. It’s enough.

I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I can at least try for a little longer…

VOLITION — That’s all I ask. That’s enough.

[gwensy]

gonna be annoying in the tags

[thelambthatkilledthewolf]

Thinking about the inherent abusive relationship between an avatar and their fear entity

[preggomancer]

she’s a woman of simple tastes 

[purgemarchlockdown]

The temptation to vague about something in the milgram-confessions blog because its something thats bothered me for Actual Years about certain fandoms vs letting it go because when it is brought up its actually done somewhat tastefully and reasonably which makes me happy and this anon probably didnt mean it in the incredibly bad faith way I keep on seeing it be repeated so really Im getting upset over nothing.

[werebutch]

WSBH chara q’s: (you don’t have to answer all the numbers, just whatever you want to 𖢘)

16/35/51 for Scotch

1/6/55 for Atlas

I LOVE YOU

16. What kinds of people do they have arguments with in their head?

okay i truly think scotch argues with seraph in his head all the time. ALL the time. scotch largely ignores them, and vice versa, because he dislikes them and they know it. seraph is very conflict avoidant lol, and as long as hes not a "threat" they dont care to talk to him about their problems. he probably argues with atlas and jacob (his older brother) too, atlas about more stupid small stuff, and jacob about childhood and life stuff :p

im trying to think of more general groups he would argue with but i cant come up with anything BAHAH. hes not exactly conflict avoidant in the annoying libra way that seraph is, he more just ignores conflict for his friends’ (mostly atlas’) sake. idk if that makes sense LOL

35. What is the smallest, morally questionable choice they’ve made?

hmmm.. smallest? i mean scotch strings eloise along for most of the time pre timeskip. its not a main focus but its definitely important in order to understand scotch as a whole. she and scotch go out for a while, and mid way through that he realizes hes GAY gay. lol. and obviously lying to her about that is pretty questionable after a while. especially since he and atlas have been 👉👌 like the whole time. but she kind of knows. well

something a little bigger would be him encouraging or otherwise turning a blind eye to all the weird stuff atlas is up to. he doesn't know what it's like to be a werewolf, he can't say anything, right? lol.... murder is okay if its a talking dog doing it. scotch enabler supreme. actually when seraph is introduced, he and atlas have a 'joke' (kind of starts being real) about luring seraph somewhere to kill them. obviously doesnt happen and gets abandoned. but i think its important to know about their dynamic LOL

51. What’s a phrase they say a lot?

this guy is kind of goofy. i cant think of phrases rn but he has a specific way of speaking.. you could watch pretty much any old pop punk band interview and kind of get the idea. HAHAH

1. What’s the lie your character says most often?

atlas is a big fan of saying 'its fine' for all situations ever. family in mortal danger? its fine. completely splitting? its fine. arthritis excruciating? its fine. hes one of those people that dont like to deal with the fawning of others unless hes feeling real special. Ends up putting people in more danger a lot of the time. i think eloise is the only fan of communication in this friend group to be honest. i should have made her the main character

he tends to make promises he cant keep as well, but thats more general..

6. What’s their favorite [insert anything] that they’ve never recommended to anyone before?

i have NO idea. i feel like atlas would be a music snob, so maybe his favorite 'super underground' bands. otherwise he'd probably never recommend raw human meat to another human (no matter how much scotch asks -__-).. (he would chicken out anyway)

55. What’s something they’re expected to enjoy based on their hobbies / profession that they actually dislike / hate?

um. so atlas hates working out. he especially hates running, you know, the thing that wolves are known for doing a lot of? unfortunately the lycanthropy came with a side effect of pretty bad arthritis, so that doesnt exactly encourage him. he DOES exercise, a lot since hes pretty much required for his ermm "side job", but he hates it 😸 besides the arthritis it’s mostly because I think it’s silly that he hates it. yay

[toastsnaffler]

love being at the climbing gym like yeah im not that flexible and then constantly doing moves matching my hands n feet on the same holds even when completely unnecessary

[cute-chamomile]

It's one of those weeks (management is doing a poor job)

[cringefaildiaz]

For clarification, I was a Buddie shipper for the longest time, but because of recent episodes I’ve kinda abandoned ship.

I think that we (tumblr, reddit, Twitter) see the show differently than the general audience. I think there’s a lot of people who dig into things that don’t actually mean anything and call it in the name of Buddie. I shipped them because narratively it made the most sense, but I 100% think the shirt colors/water/beer theories aren’t complete and utter bullshit. Like, I enjoy reading them, but they aren’t anything. These are writers who 1: can’t remember their own details 2: are very open about any sort of metaphor, like the couch thing. The couch metaphor for a relationship was said on screen, it was real. Everything else is grasping. I’m an actor, I’ve gone through costume fittings before, I’ve seen wardrobe trailers, I’ve had a costumer. In a show that’s this expensive and that’s running this long, they will wear the same stuff a few times. Blue and green look best on screen. They can’t use product placement of real items. There’s a lot of reasons for stuff in the show that doesn’t have to do with Buddie and it makes me, and many others, not take Buddie seriously when people say things like “the lightning strike is the baking soda and it’s standing in the way of the beer which is their relationship” Nope. That’s just set dressing and props doing their job. “They made 3 s’mores because one represents Buck!” No… it represents Shannon, that was in the episode.

I also don’t think Buck and Eddie are a slowburn. Or if they are, and this is something they’ve planned out, they’ve done a terrible job. The point of a slowburn is for the audience to see, to feel, to root for the characters to get together. It has to be really obvious that it’s happening, albeit slowly. That it grows and they are so in love, and there’s feelings, and it’s a big will they won’t they. Buck and Eddie had a foundation for this, but the general audience can still call them brothers or platonic friends. Meaning that it’s not clearly romantic and therefore not a slowburn. It could be, if they wanna have Eddie really hate Natalia and openly reveal feelings for Buck even just to himself and let that drive them into season 7, then yes we would have an actual slowburn. It’s not impossible and it’s not too far gone, but if they keep down the path they’re on where it’s tumblr users grasping, it will be.

I also just think they’re writing the characters in circles and until they break out of that, there’s no hope for anything. I mean anything, romantically or not. Buck is currently a headache, at least Eddie seems to be having some growth, but his is also tied to a relationship and people telling him to date and him thinking he has to… ugh

so I actually mostly agree with you, but I think this might be a case of missing the forest for the trees.

I'm definitely with you that a lot of the fandom theories are...not realistic. I'm actually intimately familiar with how wardrobe and costume design operates on shows like 9-1-1 through my job, and I have never in my life heard of wardrobe operating on a set the way fans theorize they do. Not to say that things like color never mean anything, they can absolutely be used very intentionally (and are, by good designers), but they have very different reasons for making choices than what is popularly discussed here. (baby rant on costume metas->on a show like 9-1-1, the most important factor—beyond making your actors look good—is making their wardrobe choices believably human. It's about psychology and fleshing out character; it's rarely about storytelling. What would this real life person have in their closet? How would they choose to present themself in this setting? I'd also say there are some things the fandom DOES pick up on that I read as intentional, but on a show as big as 911, its a little silly to assume every outfit has a deeper meaning)

I also agree with your general point that people read a little too deep into metaphors and symbolism that aren't there on a textual level. You're right that the creators make it VERY obvious when those things are in play—because 911 wasn't a show that was made to be analyzed. Again, not saying that there's nothing to pick up on; I think it's pretty obvious Eddie's on the journey to find his soulmate, and I think it's pretty obvious Natalia isn't Buck's endgame, because they made it clear in the text. But that doesn't mean that every detail is put in to give hints on what's coming. It's a goofy procedural, it's not high art. I don't know how many people really believe those theories vs. how many people just have fun with them (like me), but I get what you're saying about it seeming really silly to anyone outside the bubble.

But re: missing the forest for the trees, I do think it's a little sad to get bogged down by the theories so much that it takes you out of digesting the actual media. You said that you "shipped them because narratively it made the most sense," and I guess I wonder if you don't think it makes narrative sense anymore, or if the popular theories seem so off the wall that you've written off any subtext that's actually coming from the show. And either is fine, but I remain firmly on the "it makes the most narrative sense" side of the aisle, although for more textual reasons than the goofy theories entertain (and I follow a lot of excellent blogs that do the same)

I think that you're really spot on with the slowburn aspect—s2-6a buddie was a developing close friendship, and a beautifully done one in my opinion. But it didn't read to me as romantic while watching casually, it read to me as a really significant platonic partnership. And I so agree that it's a really phenomenal foundation for an actual slowburn. After watching the episode last night, I think that might be the direction they're headed, and I don't think I'd feel that way if not for the couch of it all. But I've said it a few times on here, I don't see any way that this is the final act of their slowburn, because I don't feel there's been any burn yet. The fact that I'm starting to think there might be a reveal to the GA, a real will they/won't they, is what has me so firmly on the buddie canon train right now.

And yeah, Buck going in circles is how I'd put it, too. But as I said it to another anon, I get the feeling that this is the last circle for Buck before his series-long journey for happiness and self worth ends. I actually love the aspect of solving one problem with his perspective only to unearth another, deeper problem, but I can only watch that large man be sad in the exact same way so many times. As for Eddie's dating adventures, I'm feeling like they're making it clear that even though Pepa was the one to push him into it, he is actually interested in finding a partner for the right reasons.

Anyways, seems like we mostly agree and I'm either more optimistic or more delusional than you—only time will tell! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me

drop your thoughts/theories/speculation on why you don't think buddie will go canon in my ask box because I'm curious (I'll be nice I promise)

I'm tagging all these posts with #anti-buddie and #buddie-neg if you want to filter

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

not sure if i'm projecting on my oc or if my oc is projecting on me

[horrorsequel]

chin hair only thing local man likes about himself, mom constantly mentions he should shave it and he says he will later. he is mostly lying.

[waywardsalt]

writing down some notes for bellum traits/speculative biology/whatever so here's a couple so far

he's cold blooded but can't die due to extreme temperatures, it just makes it harder for him to function.

amphibious in the sense that he can survive in both water and air, though he doesn't really need to breathe, if anything he mostly interacts with water and air through traversal differences.

he does move like a squid, he can just float around but to move faster he does need to move his tentacles for slight propulsion and steering, and does intake and jet out water or air for some extra speed. he is not literally a squid creature but he is very similar.

he's got little barbs on the undersides of his tentacles (similar to the texture of a cat's tongue) which help with grabbing onto and holding things.

he can pull his main eye down into his body if he wants to use his mouth as... a mouth, or when he creates those little goop things or otherwise to spit out that purple substance.

[subarashiihibi]

What I rly need to do is write up a thing abt this excerpt I read in one of the novels …. Ah it was so good I was filled with such emptiness and dread and suicidal ideation as soon as I read it … i have a final to take later (and get I am awake at nearly 4am) so after I get home from that maybe I will…

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

the alchemy // mattheo riddle x fem gryffindor reader

playlist: the alchemy - taylor swift

"who are we to fight the alchemy?"

summary: mattheo riddle hasnt left you alone with his relentless flirting since third year , youre sick of it! or are you?...

gryffindor reader , y/n used , fluff, minor swearing, short

masterlist

"yknow youre the most beautiful girl in all of hogwarts." mattheo stated from besides you , staring at you with his head in his hand.

"as you tell me everyday mattheo , i appreciate it but i think our potions project would appreciate your attention and care much more than me." you stated with a sigh looking up at him and tapping on his empty parchment.

"isnt it just so lucky we got partnered together?" he said dreamily as you scoffed.

"yes, soo very lucky." you muttered with sarcasm.

"so what do we have left to do princess?" he asked.

"are you being serious? im not sure who we is but based on the fact youve done nothing this whole session- its me that has work left." you scoffed and ranted at him with annoyance , only to recieve a bright smile from him.

"i cant help but be distracted besides you." he shrugged and draped an arm across the back of your chair.

you sighed in pure frustration before angrily packing all of your things into a bag and standing up , ignoring the confused and saddened boy besides you.

"where are you going?" he asked with disappointment.

"carry on acting cute riddle , it wont work. unlike you, some of us need grades to get a job in the future, not all of us have devilishly good looks that get us everything."

"you think i have devishily good looks?" he asked both teasingly and happily.

"sadly , i do," he smirked at this before you leaned down to him , your faces practically touching making his smug attitude drop into shyness, "doesnt mean im going to date you , dont even bother asking."

he quickly regained his composure and moved his face slightly so he could whisper into your ear , lips hitting your skin with every word , "youll come around eventually and when you do..im right here baby."

you blushed brightly before pretending to be digusted by his words , pulling away and crossing your arms with a scowl, "maybe in your dreams riddle but dont let delusion alter your reality too much. and your reality is that we're doing a project together that needs to be in by friday , so get to work baby."

he shifted his gaze as his face turned bright red and he began to heat up at your words , or more specfically the nickname.

"k but seriously , get to work or ill be beyond pissed. goodbye riddle" you said seriously , walking away and leaving the flustered boy to drown in his thoughts at the library table.

----

"gorgeous!" mattheo riddle shouted down the corridore as you rolled your eyes , this was either directed at you or one of his hook ups. and upon feeling an arm wrap around your waist , you assumed it was you, "i finished our project just as you requested your majesty."

you didnt bother looking up at the boy and simply continued to walk down the hall , mattheo clinging onto you ,"well done riddle you actually worked for once. at dinner hand me the papers you wrote and ill review it and finish our conclusion. thanks for actually doing it i didnt think you would."

"anything for my girl" he brightly smiled , enjoying your subtle praise greatly.

"not your girl but sure." you rolled your eyes.

"maybe not now , but very soon" he stated confidentaly , giving your waist a quick squeeze before letting go , "as much as id love to walk you to class , i have to attend to skipping herbology! later beautiful."

"bye" you said quietly , giving him a small smile that brightened his whole afternoon.

-----

"here you go my love!" mattheo announced as he sat himself down on the bench besides you and placed some paper besides your empty plate.

you threw the papers a quick glance ,seeing they infact had writing and grabbed them , shoving them into your bag, "thank you riddle. ill help you finish later."

suprisingly the boy sat in silence , in confusion you turned to look at him, only to be given a teasing smirk and wiggling eyebrows.

"what?" you asked in confusion before releasing and smacking his arm lightly , biting back a laugh, "dont be so childish mattheo!"

his expression soon dropped completely , staring at you stunned.

"whats wrong?" you again asked in confusion and sudden anxiety.

"you.....you called me mattheo." he stuttered , face red.

"well yeah thats your name is it not? or is it mathew?-"

"no its just.....you never call me by my first name."

you soon realised , looking away to hide the pink tint that stained your cheeks.

"whatever it just slipped out!" you tried to hide your shyness.

"dont ever call me riddle again.. just mattheo , hell you can call me anything but riddle. id love it if you called me yours though." he flirted again, losing any hint of fluster.

"not happening!" you let out a genuine laugh because of the boy, for the first time in years.

mattheo couldnt help but watch in awe, admiring as you laughed with him.

"come to my quidditch match tomorrow , you can wear my jersey if you want," he winked.

"ill pass on the jersey but sure ill be there , supporting gryffindor." you teased as the boys pouted.

"cheer for me atleast?" he asked softly , staring into your eyes.

"until i lose my voice," you smiled back at him, a wide smile youd never given him before. it felt like a blessing to the boy.

he had no idea why youd become so open to him , you didnt either , but you did know that the boy had definetly flirted his way into your thoughts after years of determination.

-----

"welcome to the third match of the year, slytherin and gryffindor! buzzing to see the new cheats slytherin pull this time around!-" lees commentation was cut off by mcgonagall clearing her throat , "sorry professor."

"anyways back to the match! a pretty decent line up today , the usual team for gryffindor. slytherin having brought 3rd year joseph off the bench for the first time. hopefully we see some of his skills in this match! but i must say the most interesting player of slytherins team this match , has to be riddle. not only did he perform well last season but he seems to have his eyes on his own trophy , as per usual , y/n y/l/n! whats most interesting is the slytherin jersey shes wearing , i mean the girls in gryffindor , where is the house pride!!-" lees rant was cut off by mcgonagall throwing him a sharp glare. you cringed from the crowd as your house threw you dirty looks , the only look you focused on being the smirk and wink mattheo gave you from his broom.

"anyways , the captians are now deciding who starts the match. by the determenation on all of payers faces, this match will be anything but clean and fair , tough luck madame hooch!" lee laughed as the teams decided who started, all of the players taking their positions as the whistle blows, "and the match begins!".

----

all of your house members threw you distasteful looks as you sheepishly walked down the stands and towards the pitch , where the slytherin players had gathered.

you had hardly stepped onto the grass when an arm around you swept you off your feet and spun you around.

"did you see, love? we won!" mattheo who was currently holding you tightly , exclaimed in excitement.

"yes , yeah i saw!" you grinned at him , looking into his eyes as he finally rested you on the ground, his arms around you and yours resting around the back of his neck.

"you were my good luck charm," he said softly , his eyes tracing your body, "i see you decided to wear my jersey".

"like i had a choice! you bribed the twins to not let me out the common room until i wore it!" you both laughed.

"it suits you , no other number or name suits you better , " he smirked , pulling you in closer as you giggled.

"hm i dont know y/n potter sounds quite good." you teased as his eyes hardened.

"no." he stated darkly as you laughed at his seriousness,

" dont worry riddle , you could say im yours."

he grinned widely , "oh yeah, what changed?"

"i stopped trying to resist the mattheo charm." you teased with a bright smile.

he didnt waste a second in pulling you into a passionate kiss , one he had held back for years. after about a minute he chased your lips once you pulled away.

"i love you , since first year" he whispered.

"thats a lie, i thought it was third year!" you gasped in fake suprise.

he chuckled , looking at you in lovesickness ,"i loved you before i even met you."

"thats not possible matt," you laughed.

"it is when we're soulmates," he stated.

"soulmates? wow you really do love me huh, riddle?!" you teased.

"more than youll ever know."

[be-good-to-bugs]

need to watch more precure