#I think their relationship would probably progress the same? they don't rush into things just because they're soulmates

[multishipper-baby]

Thinking about soulmate AUs for my OCs because I'm in a romantic mood rn

[weenwrites]

pre-dating hcs of tfp smokescreen and wheeljack (separate) with a shy/awkward human charge, what would both make of them, how long would it take for their relationship to progress, and how would the confession happen? 🙏 thanks for the food  

✎ A/N: Here you go! Hope you enjoy it ˆˆ

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

Smokescreen

He's so smitten with his crush that his view on you is actually a bit skewed and biased. He thinks you're one of the best people in the world and he'd enjoy hanging around you whenever he gets the chance.

He's so eager to prove himself to you that he rushes head-first into things at times to try and impress you. He stumbles here and there at first, but when he gains his footing and calms down a little more, he pulls off rather impressive feats to try and catch your attention and your praise. Now of course he doesn't want to seem too desperate or anything that would make him seem unappealing to you, so of course he tries to play it carefully and make it seem like he isn't trying too hard to vie for your attention... It's a fine line, and he's not too sure how to try and reach that perfect "middle zone".

Smokescreen's typically the kind of person to take initiative, sure, but when it comes to you he's at a complete loss on where in your relationship he should go ahead and ask you out on a date, and he agonizes over these things for days on end. Whenever he looks back on times you've spent together in the past, he'll sometimes mutter to himself all about how "that was the perfect moment! Why didn't I take it?!" and "ugh... I should've confessed to them then..."

When he thinks he's mustered the courage to, he tries to do it at the pinnacle of an impromptu "date" when you're both having the times of your lives. But even then, it's hard for him to even begin saying anything, and he doubts whether he should be mentioning it at this time specifically, but he's gotten this far... so... he should do it! He should take this chance while he still can!

Wheeljack

He thinks you're cool in his eyes, regardless of whether you are or aren't. He has a tendency to treat you like a partner in crime of sorts. He'll take you out to go do something fun, but it's also probably something dangerous. But if that isn't your cup of tea, then he'd settle for just sticking around you and talking.

While he's pining for you, he doesn't actually treat you all that differently, nor does he act too differently either. He's still pretty chill and casual around you, and the only difference is that he wants to hang out with you more. As a result it's not too clear that he like-likes you. And if you're sorta the same, then your relationship will take quite some time to progress since he's trying to guess if he has any sort of chance with you, but he can't find any signs.

He's not afraid to pop the question... Well... Maybe he's a bit afraid... But he's willing to take whatever answer you give him, no matter how bad it is. So he finally bursts the bubble one day. It's not during any special moment the two of you are spending together, or anything like that. It's just on a normal day while you're both hanging out. He drops it so casually that it sounds like he isn't nervous in the slightest, but if you were to listen more carefully to the way he says it, and pay more attention to the look on his face and the glint in his eyes, or the way he's wringing his hands... He's nervous.

He gets what it's like to long for the way things were, and he's worried that if you don't feel the same way, he'll be left wishing for that same old feeling of friendship between the two of you. But much to his relief, you feel the exact same way, so he doesn't worry about that for long.

[diagonal-queen]

This another requesting 😭

Maybe with Fyodor,Dazai and Chuuya with s/o who have trust issues and are traumatized because of their best friend's death?

i hope that this isn't indicative of what's happening with you at the moment...if it is i'm so sorry. sending all my hearts to you <3

Reader with trauma and trust issues

♡ pairing: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these men react to a reader who has trust issues and trauma from their best friend's death?

♡ cw: Reader has trauma and trust issues, mentions of violence and death.

note: Surprisingly...Fyodor is not toxic in this one. Yay! Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fyodor:

He feels for you, knowing that losing someone you care about must be difficult, and as such he'll do what he best thinks will help you open your heart again and get you to trust him

This mostly manifests in him being very protective, but also being very patient and gentle with you

Would actually give you a lot of cuddles if you wanted him to. He likes being your safe place, it makes him feel stronger

Fyodor is more than happy to listen to you when you need something from him and provide whatever it is- he'll treat you like royalty <3 (honestly he'd do that regardless though)

He doesn't really say anything about your friend's death or your trauma and usually just waits for you to bring it up if you want to talk to him about it (he doesn't want to catch you off-guard and cause an attack or anything like that)

If you want space he'll give you space, but he'll also worry a little but about you (he would never tell you that though lol)

He feels that there's not much to be done about it besides move on, so he also sometimes tries to...distract you in a way? He'll try to take your mind off your grief by keeping you busy or spending his free time with you

He'll sometimes talk about life and philosophical stuff with you when you talk to him about your feeling, and that makes you feel a lot better about everything

Dazai:

Right, so he's in the same boat as you are. He knows exactly how you feel and so he's probably the best person you could have chosen to be your S/O in that regard

He actually opens up about Odasaku to you! Just a little bit though, just so you know that he does get it

Dazai really gives you a lot of space if he knows that you have trust issues, because he doesn't wanna make you feel overwhelmed and as if he's rushing things

Might just behave a little too distant at times though, you gotta let him know that giving you space doesn't mean ghosting you totally T-T (he doesn't WANT to ghost you he's just worried that he'd otherwise be too clingy, which he is kinda)

Never takes it personally when you want to take your time progressing your guys' relationship, he's willing to go as slow as you need him to

Lowkey turns up the charisma a little because he wants to make you feel happy sometimes even if it's because of something kinda silly like a smooth pickup line (lol)

He really just hates to see you sad and will oblige you a lot of the time if it means you'll feel better

Dazai loves you so much that he'd even forego attempting suicide (as much as he already does at least) for your sake, making promises to you that he won't leave you or break your heart either

Chuuya:

He also knows what it's like to lose people he loves so he really feels for you and wants to help you feel better

Encourages you to be open about your feelings with him so he can understand better and so you don't bottle them up. He's a really good listener and won't really interrupt you or anything (he'd respect if you didn't want to talk sometimes though)

He also lets you cry on his shoulder whenever you need and when you do he's there to hug and comfort you

Always thanks you for trusting him after you divulge private information or otherwise act vulnerable around him (and is also lowkey pretty flattered about it)

Chuuya will also purposefully separate you from his mafia life to keep you away from violence and otherwise dark stuff because he doesn't want to distress you or traumatise you any more

Every now and then he asks if he's being too overbearing and if you'd like space (he doesn't want to you find him suffocating or anything T-T)

Honestly just handles your grief and supports you super well, and overall does help you heal and move on

Also he will promise to never hurt you and tell you he loves you like every single day until it sticks in your brain

you guys heard Hard To Love by Rosé from Blackpink?? fuckkk that song is literally me

[deliciousdefendorinternet]

Okay, this has honestly been in the back of my mind for years now, but I feel like I must ask. Did anyone else feel an immense feeling of anger/discomfort when Poppy brought the entire village into Branch's bunker? Because I did. When I first saw it, I felt uncomfortable. And to this day, I get the ick thinking about it. Like, I get why she did it, and I understand that it was the safest thing to do for the village, but like... I can't explain just how upsetting it was to me. Branch is a better person than I am, because if it were me, just... no. And she didn't even ask properly! And then had the audacity to say it was a solid burn returned like??? No? No it wasn't? That was a home invasion, not a snipe back at him, what? In what world is his comment on her life skills even remotely on the same level as her just letting the ENTIRE VILLAGE in his house? And they weren't even good houseguests either! They IMMEDIATELY started messing with his stuff, like, have these trolls never heard of proper guest etiquette? Look, I love Poppy, but she can seriously get on my nerves a lot. Especially since the movies made it so that in the end, she doesn't really learn much because her screw ups have a way of completely disappearing with little to no consequences.

To add to this, anyone else feel like when rewatching the first Trolls movie, that Branch was in the right, and that he was done so dirty by so many? Like, the ukulele scene. As a kid, I did think Branch was being rude, but now? Those 2 were literally out in the woods, with who knows what out there. Poppy literally got her friends kidnapped by a BERGEN literally the DAY BEFORE, and she's going back to singing loudly? Like, Poppy, babe, are you TRYING to die? Her whole song just shows how much plot armor Poppy has because, seriously? Not to mention, trolls are tiny, so her singing could genuinely put a target on them. I feel like the only reason Branch didn't up and say this is because it probably should be common knowledge, but apparently, pop trolls don't really have much common sense. I really wish they had Branch explain it though, because as a kid, I thought him to be a killjoy and unnecessarily bossy. But now? Yeah, I can see why singing in the forest when you're tiny might not be the best idea. Makes me wonder just how the pop trolls survived all this time?

I love Poppy, I really do. She's fun, nice, and is a complex protagonist (who is awesome and not a Mary Sue, though the same can't be said for TBGO/Trollstopia Poppy) whose character development is very visible. However, the writers really focus more on Branch's character development than hers and focus more on finding new ways to traumatize him than finding ways to make Poppy more mature, and that's what really bugs me about Poppy's character.

I really wanna start a petition for DreamWorks to lay off Branch for once and give Poppy more attention. I'm not asking to all out traumatize her (though the idea of DreamWorks giving her the Branch Treatment is funny in the mean way) but it would be nice if they gave her another journey where she has to learn and grow, and for there to be consequences that aren't easily waved away by a song and dance. TWT did a decent job at it (it could have been better, but it was a start), and I really need DreamWorks to do something like that (but better, obviously) again.

That being said, I do like how they handled Broppy. They went from rival/strangers to friends to lovers. It didn't happen instantly, and the progression of the relationship didn't feel rushed or forced. They both have an equal standing in the relationship and are supportive of each other. It's cute, and I'm glad DreamWorks at least got that right.

This should have probably been separate asks, but oh well. YOLO or whatever. I just really wanna know your thoughts.

I'm mostly of the same mind it angers me but I get why she did it I feel at the very least she should have told everyone to behave themselves and not act like they were teenagers throwing a house party while their parents were away for the night.

some people have said that maybe she did in on purpose to pressure Branch into going with her but I prefer to think that wasn't the case because in my opinion that would be straight up villainous.

a Royal abusing their power to put pressure on a civilian to Risk their life to rescue a group of your friends who are in danger due to your incompetent leadership.

not to mention a civilian who she knows is more terrified of the Bergens than anyone else in the village.

yeah that would make her an out and out villain imo so I prefer to think that wasn't her intention.

I don't feel its so bad it needs to be changed in the story overall but I would have liked it had Branch actually called her out on it.

basically just have him angrily point out to her after she acts like it wasn't a big deal because it was just a bunch of old Junk. that it wasn't just a place to him it was his home and that wasn't just a load of old Junk it was stuff he worked hard for years to make and it made him feel safer it was the only place he actually felt safe and like he could relax.

maybe prompting Poppy to actually give a more genuine apology as before she just thought of his home as him being over the top for the sake of it.

since she and the village just viewed him as a Drama queen and she didn't really realise his fears were actually so genuine that the Bunker actually mattered to him that deeply.

part of me thinks the intent by the writers was for her consequences in the first film to be being betrayed by Creek who she cared about but yeah that whole thing could have been handled better.

her and her dads leadership put him in danger and he literally said what he had to say in order to avoid being eaten alive he didn't really have any agency in the betrayal.

so Poppy's somber pleas for him to not go through with it kinda make me mad tbh like this whole situation is your fault yet my guy Creek is expected to die because of it.

so your incompetent dad can live? yeah no.

also if you made that Petition for Branch I'd totally sign it 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

and I agree Poppy deserves some more focus and development tho a touch of angst for her I think could maybe be a good thing in making her character stronger.

like I've said before maybe having Peppy die in a future film and her at first trying to ignore her grief by focusing on her queen duties and slapping on her usual smile worrying both Branch and Viva.

or having her mother turn up in the future like some fans have suggested only for her to be a selfish villain who couldn't care less about Poppy and Viva.

and this is the proper shock to Poppy's "" family is always great "" mentality as even with Bro zone they worked things out in the end making her think no family could be entirely broken.

but her mother literally doesn't give a shit if her children live or die and she maybe abandoned them both when Poppy was a baby.

drawing a little contrast with Branch only for the mother to have zero remorse since she didn't want children and maybe she was only with Peppy for status as royalty.

and Bro zone could be shown as being more remorseful over the past even a while after the events of TBT which contrasts with Poppy's mom kinda nicely.

anyway I'm getting off topic a bit lol but yeah I agree Poppy needs more focus and Branch's needs to be picked on less by the writers.

but I feel a touch of angst directed Poppy's way could give her some good development and make her a stronger character overall.

edit. also as someone who doesn't like Hugs Poppy's smug stunt with the Hug time Bracelets does make me a little mad like tell the Trolls to Respect people's Boundaries Girl.

[sysmedsaresexist]

i think endogenics deserve their own -genic term that's not just clarifying that they're different than traumagenics tho. ill use non-traumagenic for a catchall for non-traumagenic systems but as a self descriptor it's like saying non-trans. like theres the word cis for a reason. ofc people CAN use nontraumagenic but i find it very.... strange. idk.

also spontaneous and created do work for endogenics, but doesn't cover ONLY endogenics (example: traumagenics who create system members especially for trauma-reasons, or experience members forming in a seemingly 'spontaneous' way, or yk. just mixed origin systems), so it's not a 1 to 1 replacement for the term (this is coming from a trauma-formed system who has created and spontaneous-seeming members, so saying those would count me, someone who's not (in a literal sense) endogenic, as the same as endogenics, when it's different.)

btw what would you think of someone using the term exogenic? since you don't like endogenic, i was wondering if you would think that it's direct technical opposite is bad as well, or if it's JUST endogenic for some reason.

Okay, we kind of have to work from the bottom up, here

So, first, where endogenic means internal and fantasy, exogenic means outside influence... Like trauma. Freud used endogenic for fantasy and exogenic for trauma. This is kind of a moot point. That would be worse? Still our term.

Second, CDD systems that create "endogenic" headmates, are still just... CDD systems. Mixed origin isn't a thing, and I don't believe you should try to put "origins" on individual alters. Alters can take years to make first contact with anyone, internally or externally. By that point, pinpointing what event created them, and more importantly, why they're there is nearly impossible. It's totally normal for CDD systems to have alters that are, or appear to be, purposefully created. I have some. There's so many reasons this could happen, but if there's a need, the brain will provide, consciously or subconsciously. Alters like this don't make you mixed origin.

It makes you a normal ass system.

It's about why the system formed in the first place, and for CDDs, that's trauma. Once the ability to create alters is there, you can and will continue to do so until problems with dissociation are under control.

There's zero rush to figure out the reason, too. It'll come with time when everyone is ready and as healing progresses. Being adamant that their origin must be this clearly "endogenic" cause has the potential of keeping them from processing other possible reasons. Just let them figure it out. We've all been there at some point. It took nearly three years to figure out where one of our members came from, and I feel like it would have taken longer if I hadn't known it was probably related to trauma somehow. Over time, reactions to certain things just sort of... Lead us to make the connection, and then we could start on offering proper support and reassurance when those reactions occurred.

It should come as no surprise, it was indeed related to trauma.

So, if it's a completely normal thing, why not just say you're a CDD system? Why does mixed origin need to be specified? What makes you different from other systems? From me?

Let me finish all that with, I can understand that these terms are helpful to some people, and I support them. I support the use of any language that helps people understand themselves better. My experiences won't be everyone's. Things that worked for me won't work for everyone.

However, I don't support using these words in ways that further blur the line between endogenic and CDD.

This means I have a very love-hate relationship with a lot of terms in use right now-- like mixed origin, because in its current use, it implies that experience is different and spreads the idea that this doesn't happen in CDDs, when in reality, it's incredibly common.

I'm not sure I understand the first half of this ask. Are you asking what I think they could call themselves instead? It was never about stopping people from using the word and more about pointing out that no one seems to give a shit about DID history. That it's ignored and swept under the rug without apology-- while telling us we're wrong and overreacting. That despite direct proof showing that things happened and were said, certain endos still have that information up and active, still circling through the community and further spreading misinformation.

Willfully.

Purposefully.

Intentionally.

I don't really care what endogenics do, at this point I just want them to stop conflating our experiences and talking over us.

[akannuoli-aatteet]

I have not listened to the Cub and the Caterpillar after the first and only time and I might be remembering a lot of stuff wrong but I don't think I'll ever stop thinking about the part, when Ongenagama's sister asked her why she'd chosen Mooti for her lover (since pretty much everyone assumed they were dating), Onganagama answered: "Mooti. Is a Friend."

Ongenagama's words have they stayed in my brain. Literally living rent free. The way she says 'friend' just fills my heart with sunlight and love.

The absence of the word 'just' in that sentence is so important to me and probably gave five years to my lifetime. I'm. So. Fucking. Sick Of HOW IN EVERY SHOW THEY UNDERVALUE THE IMPORTANCE OF FRIENDSHIP. BY SAYING "WE'RE JUST FRIENDS".

IM SO FUCKING SICK OF HEARING THAT PEOPLE ARE JUST FRIENDS.

That's stupid! You can be friends without the just. Friendship is not inherently a weaker love than romance. Friendships can be life changing and as or more significant than romantic relationships, yet still romance takes the higher value in media and life, cause I guess, friendships aren't as exciting as romantic relationships as a concept can be. I need more stories about friendship that don't take the bond for granted.

"Mooti. Is a FRIEND", she said, but not in the way where she would be hiding her true feelings of romantic love. She said it with absolute honesty with all her heart and she meant it with her whole soul. She knew that any partner she could have in the future, she would not have shared the same kind of experiences that she had with Mooti Qobaa.

I feel like in that moment, in that single, one-syllable word, Unati fucking succeeded to encapsulate their whole journey and everything they went through together, their deep love and understanding for each other.

Mooti, for the first time expressing disdain for the sun, and Ongenagama saying: "I'll offer some shade", while looming over the nocturnal and providing him a shadow. Ongenagama running with Mooti on her back as a cocoon during daytime. Her making progress on their journey while Mooti sleeps. So efficient.

They just get along so well. They just work together. She is hardly annoyed by his pessimistic yapping and Mooti is grateful for having someone like her and just. Protect him and be with him and experience life with him. They let each other be without any expectations of who they should be. Their dynamic just is so great cause its pretty much just Mooti being petty and making enemies, causing problems and generally being a dick while Ongenagama takes usually a backseat. Their comedic duo is just too beautiful.

The way when Mooti lost his arms after being a dick to the fish spirit and Ongenagama pleaded on her knees asking for forgiveness for herself but moreover for Mooti, like the noble fighter she is. And the spirit decided to grant Mooti fish flounders because of Ongenagamas humbleness. The fact that Mooti was supposed to be the more charismatic one but Ongenagama ended up doing a lot of the persuasive work.

AND!!!! The cutest cutest thing ever! Is the fact that when Mooti was granted his arms back, the first thing he did was hug Ongenagama. Right after he had gotten them, he rushed to celebrate with his Friend and finally had the chance to hug her and express, express his love for her. They love each other so much. They like each other so much. The fist thing he used his arms for was hugging his best friend.

THE FIRST THING HE DID AFTER GETTING ARMS WAS HUGGING HIS BEST FRIEND.

THEY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH.

I just feel like Ongenagama and Mooti's relationship had so much unspoken mutual understanding and respect. They genuinely like and respect each other. They seek comfort in each other. They're totally different people but they understand and accommodate to each other. They chose to be with each other. They choose to be with each other.

It just feels like all of this and more were said in the word 'friend'. when Ongenagama said "Mooti. Is a friend." Like every experience they had had, that was hidden away to the outside viewer, showed itself a bit in the honesty of Ongenagama's tone and cadence. She said it with such meaning that her sister could've almost understood how much she meant by saying calling Mooti a friend. They've been so much through together.

Its like they invented a new meaning for this word, they made it feel so full of love, life, appreciation and understanding. Ongenagama and Mooti redefined friendship and the people they met who thought they were dating, couldn't understand the feeling they have for each other. People can love each other without any kind of romantic tension and attraction. they are underestimating Mooti's and Ongenagama's ability to love each other.

I feel like this post is not good. I might make edits later and so on. I cannot truly capture what I mean and what I feel.

Thank you, 3BH.♡

[w-ht-w]

on being friends with your therapist / counselor

Summary: your therapeutic progress would likely be negatively affected (you wouldn't be as forthcoming + have the space to deeply understand yourself) if the common characteristics of friendship entered the therapeutic relationship:

the therapist's own social needs entered the picture (vs focusing entirely on your needs)

the therapist allowed their personal values/biases to influence their judgment (vs being client-centered, open-ended, and accepting)

the therapist met/was personally familiar with people in your life; this would affect their objectivity.

I don't think it's impossible to have a fulfilling friendship w/ your therapist after your professional relationship w/ them ends. But it would require taking all of these factors into account. To jump into it blindly or rush the transition, thinking that you are magically the exception to the rule, is foolish vanity.

---

You love talking to your therapist every week. Not only do they help you feel better and work through your problems, they seem pretty cool.

You enjoy the casual banter at the beginning of your session as much as the meat and bones of the therapeutic work. They get your jokes and seem to like the same things you do. You click with them in a way you rarely click with anyone.

So, sometimes you daydream and wonder: Could we be friends? Could we get together outside of therapy and hang out? Maybe get a coffee sometime?

Maybe you’ve been trying to work up the nerve to ask them, or maybe you’ve already asked and gotten this disappointing response: “I’m sorry. I like you a lot, but I can’t do that. It’s against my professional code of ethics and it wouldn’t be good for either of us.”

many therapists wish they could be friends with their clients, too. They just know it’s not in their clients’ best interest.

If your therapist became your friend, it would take away the objectivity that allows them to help you the way they do. It would make it hard for them to see you through the clear lens of clinical insight instead of the distorting filter of personal need.

Friends make decisions about how they interact with you based on their own needs (and hopefully out of affection, care, and respect for you as well).

On the other hand, your therapist makes decisions about your relationship based on their best understanding of your needs. They set their emotional needs aside for the sake of the work they’re doing with you. ... Thanks to their training and the nature of their work, your therapist can make space for you in a way no one else can.

Your therapist wants to see you grow. They want to see you develop the confidence, hope, and resilience to live an authentic life and pursue the things you want—including deep friendships. While your therapist might like the idea of being friends with you, what they really want is for you to use the healing you get from therapy to build amazing friendships outside of therapy.

Your therapist’s ultimate goal is for you to not need them anymore. Sentimentally, they’d probably love to keep seeing you. But they know their job is to nudge you out of the nest, not keep you in it. 

There are many stories in the therapy world of how friendships or post-therapy social interactions that seemed totally innocuous at the time ultimately destroyed the therapeutic relationship. Then, whatever friendship there was fell apart as well. It was a total loss for both therapist and client.

It’s true that you expect many of the same things of a therapist that you expect from a friend: to be treated with kindness and respect, to be listened to and heard, and for them to be on the same team as you, rooting for you and helping you.

However, in many ways, you expect more from your therapist than you do from a friend. 

Your therapist clears the deck emotionally and mentally before every session to make themselves completely available to you.

Therapists train for years to learn how to leave their emotions—and needs—outside of the room. They do this so they can be there for you in a way no one else can.

As soon as your therapist became friends with you, everything would change. Their needs would enter the room. The less glamorous aspects of their personality would show up. You might find them to be needy, messy, insensitive, or rude.

But even if your therapist was a perfectly charming, responsive, responsible friend, you most certainly wouldn’t feel as dearly and carefully known by them as you do in the therapy room.

Just like every other friend you’ve had, they’d sometimes forget to call, tune out when you’re talking to them, or be so preoccupied they wouldn’t notice or care about how you were feeling.

And it would hurt.

Many clients who have persuaded a reluctant therapist to hang out after sessions—or who have been pursued by an unethical therapist outside of the therapy room—tell the same story: whatever they saw or experienced totally disillusioned them.

After they spent time together as friends, they never saw their therapist the same way or felt the same way about them again. Usually, what they saw not only tarnished what they got from therapy, it eventually made them walk away from the friendship, too.

Being disillusioned is part of life. We all survive being disappointed by friends, lovers, and family members, by jobs and coworkers, by homes and cities and vacations, by movies and meals, by life in general, and by (and about) ourselves.Why is therapy any different?

In some ways, it’s not. You inevitably will be disappointed by your therapist at some point. In fact, working through those disappointments or ruptures is key to strengthening the therapy relationship and can lead to breakthroughs.

However, if the disillusionment is too extreme, it shatters the careful frame your therapist has put together for the project of your transformation. 

When your therapist becomes just another person who’s let you down, it becomes hard to believe in what you saw and felt in the therapy room. You can start to feel like your therapist doesn’t actually care. And that can reopen the wounds that therapy had just started to heal.

It’s so unfortunate, because what you saw and felt was real. It’s just a rare kind of animal that can’t survive outside of the carefully climate-controlled terrarium of therapy. Your therapist does care; they do see you; they just can’t sustain that intensity of attention outside of the therapy room.

Real friendship is one of the most valuable things in the world. Gaining the confidence and self-worth you need to invite more authentic friendship and connection into your life is often one of the most important outcomes of therapy.

But the solution to building more close friendships isn’t befriending your therapist. Yes, it’s natural to want to be friends with someone you share so much with and feel so good around. It’s not that you’re wrong to want it, or that it’s a bad idea in theory—it’s that it doesn’t work in practice. (x)

There’s nowhere else you can learn as much about the inner workings of relationships—or yourself—as you can in therapy. No other relationship in your life will ever be as transparent as your relationship with your therapist. (x)

^I disagree with this. I think it's valid for the therapeutic relationship to model the level of transparency you'd like in other relationships. It's not everyone cup of tea, but it's valid.

Think of the therapeutic relationship as a relationship lab where you can track, test, and comment on the relationship in real time. ... when you’re with your therapist, they can help you spot your reactive patterns even when you’re right in the middle of them. Then, they can help you understand where they came from.

It’s like getting a behind-the-scenes look at your own life. In the privacy of a therapist’s office, the camera stops rolling. You can see how you’re framing things.

As you start to identify the false beliefs and self-sabotaging patterns that drive the drama in your life, you can rewrite your story so the scenes you’re in play out differently next time.

Why Is Talking to a Therapist Different from Talking to a Friend?

Good friends are eager to validate your feelings, laugh or cry with you, ... but they’re probably not going to be able to help you figure out why you keep going through this same heartache over and over again.

A good therapist learns how to put their personal opinions, knee-jerk reactions, and biases on a shelf during the time they’re talking with you. ... They know their reaction isn’t the point.

talking to a therapist isn’t always as fun as talking to a friend. Where a friend might try to cheer you up, make you laugh, distract you, or entertain you, a therapist usually won’t. They know the only way out is through. Their job is to help you feel it so you can heal it.

A friend can temporarily lift you out of depression, while a therapist can help you heal the root causes of it. Both of these forms of support are helpful, even necessary.  

(x)

Wanting to become friends with your therapist is different from wanting to keep in touch with them.

While most therapists would hesitate to meet a former client for coffee, most of them welcome an occasional email, letter, or message.

If you reach out to them, they might or might not send a quick note back, but they like knowing how you’re doing. Trust us, they wonder about you, and they care.

We all dream of finding someone who knows us fully, someone who not only understands us but who also helps us understand ourselves. ... Most of us hide at least a little of ourselves from others, even the people we trust the most. And most relationships, even the best ones, come with limitations that defy our fantasies of being perfectly known.

Therapists often come as close as anyone to making us feel deeply known and understood. So, it’s natural to want to get closer to them. It’s natural to want to hold on to them.

The important thing to understand is that the reason you feel that way about your therapist is because they’re your therapist. The reason therapy has so many weird boundaries and rules is so you can experience being known in the way you can only be known by a therapist.

[beautyinthespacebetween]

A lot of thoughts about the last two episodes of The Sex Lives of College Girls - spoilers below the cut

Lila continues to be my favorite outside of the main four. She's so funny and just shines. I can't drink anything when her scenes come on because I'll do a spit take, and I've been really happy with the A+ material they've been giving her this season. She's so fun to watch and I hope she continues to get the same level of screen-time next season.

First off, oof, Bela. Things really got to get worse before they can get better for you, huh? Like, seeing her be awful to that girl was so hard to watch, because she was being everything that she was trying to get away from when she left the Catullan.

She's been making so many awful, destructive choices this season and pushing so many people under the bus in her desire to create the future that she wants for herself. She's so ambitious and that's one of the things I like about her, but she's prioritized her ambitions so much that she's hurt herself and the people around her, and ironically set herself back when it comes to her future prospects. For the last scene, there was a tiny part of me that was hoping she was talking to a therapist even though the setting didn't make sense.

I think Amrit Kaur does a great job of showing that vulnerability beneath the awfulness, and I'm hoping that we get more of that in season 3. If she has a 1.8 GPA, she won't really have very many options to transfer, so I'm hoping that she's going to have to stay and deal with the problems that she's created. Pulling a Nico (ie. not coming back next season) would make no sense in the story they're trying to create, so I'm curious how they're going to have her stay next semester.

Next, Leighton. Her conversation with her mom talking about Kappa was a pleasant surprise. It felt a bit like a 180 with her being so supportive of Leighton when we haven't seen that from her before, but it was so nice to see that progression even if the build-up wasn't really there. The scenes with Leighton talking about inclusivity and challenging the alumni woman's POV about sisterhood only to get shut down by the new Kappa president was such a good moment. Like our little Leighton has really grown since the beginning of the school year, and having her get everything she seemingly wanted only to realize it wasn't her anymore was truly just *chef's kiss.*

I have mixed feelings about Alicia coming back. I really liked Alicia and Leighton together. In fact, they were probably my favorite couple out of every couple we've seen on the show. But, I thought the scene last week of Tatum saying there's no timeline on coming out was such a refreshing change of the "being in the closet means not being true to yourself" narrative that gets shown a lot in tv shows. I know there's queer people out there who believe that, but overall, it feels very much like a straight-person point of view rather than a queer one. So, having Alicia and Leighton get back together without really talking about that aspect of their relationship felt a bit rushed.

To be clear, I honestly don't really care that they broke up Tatum and Leighton. I figured they'd break up at some point, but I do wish we got to see it onscreen since they took the time to show the progression of their relationship.

Hopefully we get more Leighton and Alicia next season. I do really like their chemistry and I hope we get to finally see Leighton in a relationship that she's not anxious about.

Loved Whitney choosing biochem as her major and really falling in love with science this season. She's really the only character we got to see in a school context for more than an episode of two at a time. For everyone else school seems to be secondary to their social lives. Sure, we've seen them in some academic context - Leighton is a math genius, Bela wants to be a comedy writer, and Kimberly cheated on her Econ exam, but Whitney's the only one where we got a season-long arc about school and learning. It was fun seeing Whitney trying to figure out how to keep her sex buddy just her sex buddy. I really didn't like science dude at first, but he grew on me and I felt bad when he was crying in front of the whole class during his presentation. It's for the best that she ended things, but they actually had really good, ahem, chemistry, and them bonding over basketball was cute.

I wish we got more about Willow outside of being Whitney's friend. I get that the show is about our main four, but I feel like we got a decent amount of personality with Eric, Alicia, Canaan, and Lila so it's not like it's impossible to do. She's been in most episodes, but it feels like she's more of a plot device to get Whitney's perspective through dialogue, rather than a character in her own right.

Now, down to the storyline I really didn't like. Kimberly having feelings for Canaan felt like it came out of left field. They've always had good 'friend chemistry', but they don't really have romantic chemistry imo. I liked her and Jackson together, and it was nice to see Kimberly with a sweet boy after last season's fiasco with Nico.

I understand Whitney realizing she still had feelings for Canaan, even if I didn't find them all that compelling as a couple, but Kimberly liking him feels so random. I also just really hate the trope of girls fighting over a boy. It's not out of character for Kimberly to prioritize a guy over something that's more important, but the storyline is so tired and boring and I hope it's something that gets resolved early on. Whitney going to Kappa to request Leighton's room was a power move, and if I wasn't so annoyed with this friendship betrayal storyline, I would have been cheering her on.

Overall, I really like this show. I think they've done a good job developing complex characters who are flawed (and in some cases, very, very flawed in a way that we don't get to see a lot of women get to be on television) and real. I'm sad that our four girls aren't going to be rooming together next season, but hopefully we still get to seem them as a cohesive unit in season 3.

My main complaint is that I don't think 10 half hour episodes a season is enough time to tell everyone's story, which is why I think everything felt so fast at the end.

[sangorous]

MAKE UP FOR LOST TIME

word count: 0.8k

genre/warnings: smut/pwp, nothing crazy?

leonard burns x black!fem!reader

author’s note: tori here, trying to update because i don’t think shaia will be on here.💀 but this is completely trash.

The sound of the wind blowing became your new favorite song. You sat by the hotel window, thinking that he would show up on time but it was clear that he wasn't coming. You grew frustrated by the minute as you waited for someone who probably wasn't going to show up again, and you wouldn't be surprised.

And when you got up from the bed, you heard the door open, "i'm sorry for keeping you waiting," he closed the door behind him.

"A simple phone call to let me know that you were going to be late would've worked leonard," you scoffed.

"Why tell me to come here and I've been waiting an HOUR, thinking you weren't goin' to show up again," you added, shaking your head.

"I said I'm sorry," he sighed, taking off his fire force coat and placing it on the the table.

"You can't keep apologizin', you have to do better with your actions," you were frustrated.

You grabbed your bag and headed for the door, but before you could touch the knob, you felt his hand on your arm.

"Uh uh, come back," he pulled you close to him.

Your ass rested on his harden bulge while he placed his chin on your shoulder.

"I really do apologize, you know how much I love you. I know it's hard for us to see each other, and I should be putting more effort. Everything has been crazy with the evangelist, and me trying to watch them so they don't find a way to capture you," he lowly spoke.

And he was right, but at the same time it sucked. This secretive relationship drove you crazy in a way, you wanted to do all these fun things with him. Two years being together and somehow you two still couldn't do the things you truly wanted to do with him, he was always talking about how if anyone ever found out that you two were together that the evangelist would take you away from him. The last thing he wanted was for you to be in danger because of him.

"I understand Leonard, but still..." you trailed off, feeling his rub the sides of your body.

"Can you at least start making better progress?" you stammered, feeling him dig his bulge into your ass.

"I promise," he placed a kiss on your cheek.

You felt your heart beating quickly as he turned you around to face him. You couldn't help but stare at how fine he was. Fifty has never looked so good on someone before, and man were you lucky.

"It's been a week, and I'm craving you," his hands moved down to your ass where he gave it a squeeze.

The way his large hands gripped your entire ass amazed you. He made sure to pick you up and place you on the bed, making sure that you were facing him. Leonard made sure to slowly pull your leggings down along with your thong before he unbuckled his pants. Before he could even pull his pants down, you could just see how hard he was through his bugle poking through, and it made you excited.

Leonard began to rub his hard dick against your wet pussy as he had a small smirk on his face. He knew what he was doing and he knew that you hated being teased.

"Babe..." you whined, placing your small hands around his large wrists.

He continued to tease you, hearing your small pleas before slamming himself inside of you.

"Dammit," you groaned, gripping on his wrist.

He went a slow and rough pace, making sure that you felt every thrust while he watched the pretty faces you made. His favorite position to do with you was missionary. The faces you made turned him on, and he just loved watching you beg for more. The more you begged, the more his confidence boosted.

The feeling of your back arching as he went as deep as he could. The pure look of ecstasy on your face made him smirk. The burning sensation you felt rushing through your body as he continued to thrust slowly, deeply, and roughly inside of you made you want more.

"Fuck," you moaned loudly, feeling your body about to come to it's limit.

"I'm going to cum," you softly moaned as his thrusts never stopped.

And when you came, he was at his limit as well. He quickly pulled out and came all over your stomach while he groaned.

You sighed and attempted to get up from the bed to go take a shower, but felt him grab your hand.

"Uh uh, who said we were finished?" he raised an eyebrow at you.

"Com back right now," he grabbed you by your waist and slammed you right on his dick.

"We're going for a second round," he smirked, placing a kiss on your back.

[hanna-kin]

My season 2 predictions/wishes

Just like the rest of this fandom I can't wait for season 2 and not that they have started shooting I'm even more excited. I've thought alot of what I think will happen and I have alot of wishes. At the same time I'm not that worried. I'm fairly calm about it which usually not. I have so much faith in Lisa, Rodja and Erica and all the other people behind the show.

Most of the time my predictions and wishes correspond with eachother.

Wilhelm

Wille is definitely my favourite character and his storyline is the one I'm thinking about the most.

I think season 2 will open up with Wilhelm at his lowest. I think he'll isolate himself and withdraw from people. I'm not sure we'll see him back home or not but I definitely think we'll notice him being alot sadder in the first few episodes. I think his anxiety will intensify but I also think he'll be more depressed and I think we'll see him struggle with his grief.

These are also what I wish to happen since we never got to see Wille deal with his grief before he was thrown into a new traumatic event. As I said I think Wille will isolate himself at first and I think it will take some time for him to let people in. I can also see him being even more focused on being the perfect crown prince and pleasing his parents.

Speaking of his parents I hope we see more of a relationship with his dad. And that there will be flashbacks with Erik. However I think he'll feel very lonely in the beginning.

His mindset will probably be that he has to figure himself out alone. I know we want Wille to be full of fire and ready for revolution but I definitely think it will take some time until he's ready and he definitely needs someone in his corner.

I think August will try to make him forgive him but he'll want nothing to do with him and he'll definitely not hide it. I would love for him to quit rowing but I don't think we will. My dream would be for him to pick up horseback riding but I don't know how good Edvin is so that's probably a no.

I think Felice will try to support him but he'll blow her off at first but she won't give up and eventually he'll let her in and he'll realise how nice it feels. Hopefully he can open up to even more people.

As for him amd Simon I'm really not sure. I can see him staying away from Simon to respect his boundaries but I can aslo see him try to approach Simon and talk to him which will be awkward and painful. Regardless we'll see alot of painful stares and looks. We'll feel gutted for sure.

I'm very 50/50 about a love triangle. I want to believe that Lisa would not go for something so overused but at the same time I can see it happen and I'm sure it could be handled in a good way. The thing is though that we don't need Wille to see Simon with someone else for him to realise what he's lost. He already knows. He already knows he screwed up and I rather see him work towards coming out and be more open about himself without feeling like he has to in order to win Simon back and deserve him.

I think as the season progresses we'll see him take steps towards being more true to himself and I think him and Simon will grow back to eachother in a very organic way. I definitely think we'll see them try to be friends and probably struggling to do so. Maybe we'll see a kiss that's later regretted which will lead to more heartbreak but I think Simon will be an important support for Wille in the end.

I hope it will be a slow process and I think we'll see Wille come out by the end of the season. It might not be through a huge interview but maybe in school. I think that would be a good first step and maybe Simon would be okay with that. We'll see. As long as it's not Wille rushing out of the closet to earn Simon back or Simon agreeing to be a secret again I'll be happy.

As their friendship progresses I think we'll see Simon support Wille in terms of his anxiety and grief and in term we'll see Wille being an important source of comfort for Simon as he lets his guard down more and opens up about his own struggles.

One think I definitely think will be a source of conflict is when Simon learns about what August did. He'll probably feel very angry and upset with Wille. I can see Wille being the one to tell him during on of their first conversations this season but I can also see it being a secret for a while and then it become a huge reveal which will lead to so much heartbreak for Simon.

Eventually though they'll find some kind of friendship. Maybe start those study dates again or just sit with eachother at lunch. Just little things until they become better and better friends

Simon

I think Simon’s struggles at the beginning of the season will be a lot less obvious but he'll struggle nonetheless. He has his family and friends and they'll all help him but I can see him keeping things bottled up. We'll see Ayub and Rosh be amazing supportive friends and Linda be the best mum ever but like I said. Simon will still be heartbroken.

He'll miss Wille like crazy but staying true to himself no matter how much it hurts. I think he'll notice Wille giving him looks and secretly watching Wille too. He'll also struggle with his and Sara's relationship especially if she moves to Hillerska.

I hope Simon will get a few friends at Hillerska because he needs someone that he can trust there. Especially because their will be alot of whispering and speculation. I think that will be the worst in ep 1 and 2 but Simon will be majorily impacted by it.

I also have this feeling that he'll quit choir because he just doesn't enjoy it anymore. That will be a tell tale sign of how much he's struggling l. He'll also quit rowing. I can see him try to avoid Wille at first and maybe be a bit distance and cold if Wille approaches him. It's not because he suddenly hates Wille but because he's hurting so much and over break he's come to realise just how much Wille’s betrayal hurt. He'll try to protect himself and his walls will be up again.

He'll probably be worried about Wille though especially if Wille is struggling with his anxiety. I can definitely picture a scene in which they've not interacted alot but he sees Wille having a bad anxiety attack or a panic attack and he comforts him. It could definitely be a turning point for them I think.

I definitely think the new character will have a storyline with Simon. If not as a love triangle I could see him be a friend or someone that is interested in Simon. If all that fails I can see him being tied to Alexander. The drug storyline can't be over and since Simon got away scot free he probably won't this time. There will be trouble for Simon because he provided those drugs. I don't know how it will be solved but my guesses are that Wille will help him in some way.

As I said before I hope we'll see Simon develop some kind of friendship at Hillerska apart from Sara because I think him and her will be on bad terms this season.

Especially if he finds out what she did. He'll be distraught to know that his sister did that to him. I think that will hurt him the most this season.

I'm trying to figure out what I want to see with Micke and what i think we'll see. He'll definitely be involved in this season as well. Simon is likely to stay away from him at first but I think he'll manage to nestle his way into Simon's life again.

I really hope and think we'll see Simon open up about Micke to Wille. I want to know more about Simon's childhood and while I don't think Micke was physically abusive I still think there's alot of truama from living with a drug addict and I can see Micke being verbally abusive. Either way, I think it's crucial for their relationship that Simon feel like he can rely on Wille. Wille also needs to know about that because its such an important part of Simon's life and has shaped him into the person he is today.

I also think he and Sara should talk about it because i find her being very unforgiving and unreasonable about the situation. I think they need to talk about it.

As I mentioned before I hope that Wille and Simkn can become friends first and find away to be there for eachother. It will probably be very heard and there will be some setbacks for sure. It will take time before Simon trusts him but I still think Simon will want to be Wille's friend eventually and be an important part in Wille coming out.

I don't think he'll put any pressure on him. Just letting him know it will be okay and that he will support him. Then when Wille is ready I think he'll be there and I think they will take their relationship step by step. I don't think Simon wants the whole world to know about them but he doesn't want the hiding.

By the end of fhe season I definitely think we'll see them be a couple again. I think they'll learn alot about eachother and their different worlds because I think both of them had a hard time grasping the other person in season 1.

Since season 1 ended on a bittersweet note I think we'll see season 2 end on a happy note for them. And going into a potential season 3 they will be faced with a new set of challenges.

[songmingisthighs]

Hooked

introduction pt. i | pt. ii | pt. iii

ch. xlvii - center stage

<< previous | masterlist | next >>

??? × reader, ateez × reader

A freshman hookup rekindled into something new. With an incentive, of course. But what would happen if your 'relationship' led you somewhere you never thought would happen to you ?

After the performance, you all congratulated Yunho for his performance along with his teammate. But not long after that, he ran off with his team to do an evaluation back at the practice room where they had also put their things.

Deciding you wanted to spend more time with Yunho, you split off with the others to wait for Yunho. How could you not? The way he danced woke something in you that you didn't think was there.

Luckily when you got to the practice room, the captain had just wrapped things up and they began to slowly file out. As people walked out, you sneaked in and waited until the room was empty except for Yunho who was focused on rummaging around in his bag.

You slowly crept behind him, making sure he wouldn't realize you. when you glomped down onto his back, he yelped and fell to the side, effectively toppling the both of you over. You giggled when he looked at you with eyes wide as saucers.

"You scared me!" he exclaimed. Though when he looked at your widely grinning face, he couldn't help but laugh at how ridiculous the situation was.

You both scrambled back into a sitting position before talking.

"So," Yunho started as he zipped his bag tightly, "how'd you like the performance?" he asked, looking at you with hopeful eyes. You light up as well, wanting to tell him what you thought.

"I loved it! You were so cool! The boys and I couldn't tear our eyes off of you!" you told him. He beamed up immediately at your encouraging words.

"But there was something that I don't quite like from your performance," you added, pursing your lips. Yunho's eyes widened at that, worried, "w-what is it? Did I made a mistake on stage??" he panicked immediately.

You pouted and feigned a saddened look at him, "I don't like the part where you danced with that one girl and the fact that you looked so incredibly hot that the girls around me were lusting after you," you said, playing with your fingers and avoiding Yunho's stare.

Yunho exhaled in relief at your words. But soon his demeanour changed into a teasing one. His darkened eyes looked straight at your face and he crawled close to you, "so... you were jealous at the other girls, baby?" he asked, tilting his head to the side even though you weren't looking at him.

You nodded slowly at him, hands fiddling, "I don't like the way they talked about you, they were saying things like being able to see the outline of your dick from your pants," you mumbled.

"And why don't you like it?" he asked. At his question, you snapped your head up to look straight at him. Your eyebrows were furrowed and cheeks puffed up slightly, "because I'm the only girl who's supposed to be able to see your dick!" you exclaimed.

Seeing how adorable you are though upset, Yunho laughed wholeheartedly before he pulled you closer to his lap. He let your legs dangle on his sides as his arms wrap around your waist securely.

He stared at you with a smile on his face and eyes filled with affection, "you ARE the only girl who's able to see my dick," he giggled. He leaned his face forward and nuzzled his nose with yours.

Your hands instinctively gripped on his shoulder, bottom lip still jutting out, "don't make me tattoo my name on your dick to ward off other bitches," you muttered at him.

Without a warning, he pressed his lips to yours, kissing you with an urgency that is not usually like him. His kisses were always soft and gentle and he only acted as such during sex. But with the position you were in, how things progressed from one moment to another, and his dick coming to life, you had an idea of where this might go.

His teeth tugged at your bottom lip teasingly as his hands rest on your thigh, his fingers crept into the inside of your short skirt. When his fingers began to scratch at your thighs, you gasped into his mouth.

At the opportunity, he slipped his tongue into your mouth and drove his hand to cup your ass under your skirt.

"You know, you talk as if guys weren't lusting after you all night long," he mumbled against your lips. You let out a noise that indicated you were questioning him, to which he chuckled, "I saw how the guys other than us looked at you, probably wondering what kind of panties you're wearing," he said before he suddenly flipped your skirt up at while detaching his lips from yours to stare down at your crotch at the same time.

Once his eyes saw your panty-clad pussy, you could see how it immediately darkened. His hand didn't even hesitate when he reached forward and tugged your panties to reveal your pussy.

At the revelation, his tongue darted out to lick his bottom lip, "how would you think they'd react if they saw my marks all around your body?" he asked as he began pushing you down to a laying position, "t-they wouldn't be able to see them because I w-won't let them," you stuttered out.

Satisfied with your answer, Yunho proceeded to hover above you with his face at your crotch. "Little princess has been trained well, hasn't she?" he smirked up at you. He pressed a soft kiss on your mound over your panties before tearing the flimsy material off with his teeth.

When his teeth grazed at your skin, you couldn't help but gasp and instinctively tried to close your legs. But Yunho was having none of that as he immediately pressed your thighs to make sure your legs stayed open for him.

Once your panties are fully off, you saw Yunho pocketed it in his front pocket. His eyes met yours and he smirked devilishly, "I'm confiscating this," he simply said.

Before you could even say anything to him, he had pressed a finger into your hole. Your eyes widened in shock and your breath hitched. At the sudden intrusion, your hands gripped onto your skirt tightly.

Yunho chuckled at your reaction, finding it rather cute, "you look adorable like this," he said. Then his eyes shifted to your pussy, staring at it intensely, "and your pussy's taking my finger so well," he said before he started thrusting his finger in you slowly.

Knowing you both are in a relatively public space, you bit your bottom lip to prevent yourself from being too loud.

Blissfully in his own headspace, Yunho moved to pepper kisses along your inner thighs. The feeling of his soft lips so close to your pussy was frustrating.

You let out a soft whine at Yunho, wordlessly letting him know that you want more. But Yunho only bit your skin in response, letting you know that you were in no place to make demands.

Yunho's fingers began moving quicker, more desperate than before. His lips left multiple marks on your skin, painting them red and light purple. His possessiveness was apparent with the way he was marking you up, wanting to make sure that you and maybe the others would see that he was with you, that you're partially his.

Without you even realizing, Yunho had managed to slip three fingers in you and was ramming into your cunt quickly, adding a thumb to your clit just because.

"-n-nho! Yu-yun- ho! I'm gon-gonna-" you stuttered out, brain fuzzy from the sheer intensity of his finger fucking. Yunho grinned wickedly at the sight of you. He crawled back up, his finger never stopping, fervently pushing you to cum all over his fingers, "Come on baby, let it go, show me how much I affected you," he commanded.

Your eyes snap shut as your jaw hung open when you cum hard on Yunho's fingers. Your pussy clamped his fingers, preventing them from moving.

As you let your first orgasm ebb away, Yunho moved forward to press rewarding kisses all over your face. He whispered compliments to you, telling you how proud he is at how obedient you are.

Before you could fully recover, Yunho hoisted you up and pressed your chest onto the cool mirror. The coldness of the mirror on your hot skin made you shiver. He had a hand wrapped around your waist as the other lifted your skirt up to expose your bottom whereas you had both hands pressed on the mirror by your side.

Yunho stood behind you, his dick pressed onto your ass and you were able to feel how hard he was. You could only assume it's uncomfortable.

"Can you feel me baby?" he asked right next to your ear, biting on it slightly. You whimpered but managed to let out a soft 'yes' to him. "You were worried that other girls would get to me when the fact is, you're the only girl who is able to make me this hard," he groaned.

You heard the sounds of zipper unzipping and a bit of rustling before you felt the bare tip of Yunho's dick in between your legs. You sucked in a breath when he started to rub his massive length along your pussy, using your juice as a lubricant for his dick.

"Can I please fuck my girl? Please?" He asked softly.

Your legs almost buckled at how affected you are by his voice and words.

"P-please Yunho, fuck me," you whimpered at him.

At your confirmation, Yunho used his free hand to manoeuvred his dick at your hole. Your jaw once again dropped open when he began to push in slowly. You could feel all of him grazing against your inside, slowly bottoming out until he's finally all the way inside you, his hips flush against your ass.

Yunho gripped on you tighter, seemingly trying to control himself, wanting you to get used to him first. Your head dropped forward as you focused on how he made you full.

After a while, you pushed yourself back at Yunho, urging him to start moving.

He took notice of your signal and immediately took hold of your waist with both of his hands and just began thrusting into you.

The pace wasn't rushed, but it wasn't slow either. It was rather powerful but not harsh. Yunho wanted to make sure that you felt him as much as he was feeling you enveloping him tightly, making him feel so exhilarated without doing much.

"God, you feel amazing, your pussy is so fucking greedy taking all of me," he moaned loudly. Yunho leaned back to see how you both are connected, "God, I fucking love you, (Y/N)," he groaned out. The sight of his dick disappearing into you sent tingles down his spine and he could feel his dick twitched, wanting nothing but more of you for him. He began thrusting quicker, your slick helped him slip easily with the pace he wanted.

With every powerful thrust, he sent you lurching forward, almost colliding with the mirror. But thankfully you were anchoring yourself with your hands on the mirror.

Yunho looked up only to see you were looking down. Frowning, he reached a hand forward and grab your chin, "I want you to look at me fucking you, got it?" he growled. Through the pleasure that clouded your mind, you managed to nod.

Both of your eyes stayed on each other the whole time he was thrusting into you. He had a satisfied smirk on his face, pleased that you listened to him well.

Due to the previous orgasm from his fingers, you were still very much sensitive and it didn't take much for you to feel your second one incoming. Yunho felt you began clenching him, almost trapping his dick in you while your hand curled into fists. He reached both of his own hands to interlace with yours. You felt his chest pressed on your back and you couldn't help but leaned back to capture his lips with yours.

With your lips connected, fighting for dominance and Yunho's dick buried deep in you, stroking your g-spot constantly, it only took a couple harsh thrusts before you came hard whilst squealing into his mouth.

Immediately, your legs felt like jelly and thank god for Yunho's fast reflex as he immediately held you close and brought you to a standing position.

Your pussy was clenching him so hard and with the warmth and the feeling of you shuddering against him, Yunho came inside you not long after.

You detached your lips from him to catch your breath. But you opted to press soft kisses along his jaw. Yunho kept thrusting through both of your orgasms, prolonging them as much as he can.

When he felt like he couldn't unload more, he stopped the movements of his hips and once again connected his lips to yours. You giggled when he playfully bit onto your bottom lip while caressing your hips underneath your skirt.

"Can we just stay like this for a while?" he mumbled against your lips. When he felt you clench on his dick that was still inside you, he moaned loudly, "scratch that, can we stay like this forever?"

You giggled at him and poked his nose, "nope, because," you cut yourself off to peck him quickly once more on his lips, "I'm hungry and I wanna go get something to eat with you," you grinned.

Yunho matched your grin with his own and nodded. He carefully slipped himself out of you, making you visibly shudder both at the feeling of him grazing your inside and the sudden loss of him.

He fixed your clothes first before fixing his own, making sure it wasn't too obvious that you two just had sex in the dance room. Once he deemed that you both looked good, he took your hand in his and walked out.

"Oh, look!" you called out to him, showing the screen of your phone with an open group chat message, "the boys are at Mcdonalds! Should we join them?" you asked, tilting your head to the side.

Yunho pursed his lips but shrugged, "I can use like 20 pieces of nuggets now," he said. You rolled your eyes at him and nudged him with your shoulder, "can you really gobble 20 nuggets in one sitting?" you questioned. He raised an eyebrow at you challengingly, "you doubting my skills?" he then leaned his face close to you, "I can gobble you up if I want to," he teasingly stated.

At his faux threat, you giggled loudly and smack his arm playfully, "you can't gobble me up, you doof!" "Sure I can! you're teenie," he grinned.

All the way to Mcdonalds, you both joked around, teasing one another. He even commented on the fact that you hadn't worn your panties as it was still in his pocket.

But he got to admit that at that moment, when you two were alone, with you laughing at whatever stupidity he uttered, he had never seen or heard anyone so perfect.

And that's when it hit him.

He loves you.

Not only loving having you around.

But he loves you genuinely and wholly.

And that he had said it to you not long ago.

taglist :

@raysanshine @peachy-maia @xuxiable @90s-belladonna @theclawofaraven @sanraes @sungiehan @felix-kithes @nycol-ie @superstarw99 @skkrtnawrskkrt @viv-atiny @the7thcrow @stfu-xeena @laurademaury @multihoe-net @daisyhwa @scoupshushushu @whyisquill @bikiniholic @yunhorights @exfolitae @simplewonderland @verycooldog2 @perfectlysane24 @hannahdinse8 @tannie13 @aka-minhyuk-kun @phebeedee @em0yunho @marsophilia @donghyuckanti27 @se-onghwa @malewife-supremacy @hyunsukream @elijahbabyb @taejichafe @alliecoady98 @rdiamondbts2727 @hakuna-matata-ya @ohmy-fandoms @spacebikerateez @stray-bi-kids @imaaroy

[bangtanpromptsfics]

lapis lazuli. (m)

dialogue prompt #12: “Just pretend to be my date”

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: fake dating au, frenemies to lovers, smut

word count: 2,301

warnings: making out, touching, fingering, dom!taehyung, um semi-public(?), reader and taehyung are alone

summary: you are his fake girlfriend for a party. but he is gorgeous in a suit and you look devouring in a dress, and eventually with that your feelings has to come to surface.

a/n: I'm dying of second had embarrassment that's it :]

masterlist

“Just pretend to be my date”

He says so casually, trapping you between the wall and his arms, that smug look on his face whenever he is going to manipulate you.

“I said no, Taehyung”, you repeat again, not wanting to get into a series of drama linked to whatever mayhem he is suggesting for. Taehyung needs a date for party hosted by his friend, not that he cared about walking around by himself and oggling beautiful women who would already be there. His ex— a toxic piece of shit is likely to eat up his sanity if he doesn't take a distraction with him. And you are that— a distraction.

“Deal with her yourself. Fuck just leave me alone”, you push his chest, making only a little bit more space between your bodies.

“C’mon babe I'll take you to Gustav’s for dinner”

“Don't call me babe”

“Okay Y/n, I promise. I know how badly you wish to go there. Please?”. Kim Taehyung sure as hell confronts you with the objective of winning you over. Even if it takes bribing you, his puppy eyes plus a mix of intimidation.

Food had been your forte always, and Taehyung suggested he'd take you to the top notch restaurant in the city, something which will cost him a fortune and you wonder then maybe it wasn't that bad. It's just one night. One drama to put up with.

“Fine”, you huff, giving in and he is quick leaning forward for a hug and you squirm off of him.

“Theme is formal. I'll pick you up at 7?”

“Yeah okay”, you still sound very much disapproving that Taehyung makes a mental note to call and check up on your progress several hours before the party. Just in case you decide to ditch him.

“You don't have to call me every damn hour I'm almost ready”, you grit your teeth. Taehyung wasn't clearly kidding about it. You swear every time your phone rings on your vanity. At this point it was merely to piss you off.

They say character comes first, then time. You and Taehyung met in senior year of college, when he came as a transfer student and now a constant in your life when you both work in the same department of your accounting firm. You can say he is your best friend considering the amount of times he was there whenever you needed him, vice versa too. But does he makes you want to karate chop his neck? Also yes. But does he also makes you want to kiss him when he greets you in the morning at work? Painfully yes again.

It was a love-hate relationship. The former of course overpowering always. There were reasons why you denied his requests in the first place. Even though it was a show you put up, you can't help but feel flustered when he links your hands tonight, maybe even hold you close to prove his point. It would be all painful afterwards. And the dinner with him he promised? Fuck you should've said no.

You break of from your thought trance when the door bell chimes. Wrapping your fingers around your purse, you walk to the door and greet Taehyung, dressed in all handsomeness.

“Hello babe...”, he eyes you for a second, “Looking sexy as always”

“You're not too bad yourself”, you tease back, turning around to close the door, also an excuse to calm down the blood rushing to your face. He looks too damn good in a suit.

“Not too bad?”, he fakes the hurt in his sound, “Babe I know you would devour me if you could”.

“Yeah keep your fantasies to yourself. Let's go?”

You are probably full red on your face. Let's just hope that he thinks you overdid your blush on cheeks.

Taehyung seems too consumed in making things as naturally as possible. He opens the car door for you, gives you a flirty smile whenever he can and teasing is much worse than what he was usually capable of.

“Ease up baby, you seem so tense”, he says, while you were too distracted the way his beautiful hands turn the steering. It was completely nonchalant, but absolutely hot to your eyes. You peel your gaze immediately,

“You don't need to ‘baby’ me. We are not at the party yet”

“But we are dating baby”

“Fake dating, Taehyung”, you roll your eyes.

“So? Perhaps you need to resort to calling me sweet names hm? At least call me Tae”, he advices. Not that people are going to observe and calculate your each move. The only people you know are Jimin, a friend of Taehyung you have met a couple of times, and his ex which you equally despised.

There's a moment in past where you pulled a very unnecessary fight, overreacted a bit when Taehyung and his ex started dating. He couldn't make sense of what was happening to you. And you were still to explain. But that was more than an year ago and things have eventually settled to the back of your heads.

Both of you reach the large convention centre, people slurping on their champagne, political discussions and gossips in the air. Taehyung definitely did not fit in a place like this. This was anything but him. Maybe his aura will resemble more to a kindergarten tea party than this commotion.

You know he is here out of his comfort zone to not get his ego hurt. Sometimes he acted like a hormonal teenager than an adult, taking people's opinions to his heart and always self conscious of his aura.

That's why you sit like an insomniac and him still put together at the end of a work day. And that's something Taehyung adored in you.

He hates the place as soon as you enter as well. Maybe this was a mistake. But it's okay. Atleast he's here with you.

“Drinks?”, he speaks first and you shrug, helping yourself to a glass of golden liquid everyone is pouring down their throat.

“There she is”, you whisper out, faintly pointing towards your east with manicured nails towards a lady in her twenties, red lipsticks and expensive dress and trouble fluttering with her eye lashes.

“Fuck”, Taehyung curses, the said women, his ex—Ari, is already taking long strides with her high heels towards your direction. You see a sly grin on her face, which palpitate when she sees Taehyung is here with a date.

“Thought you won't make it”, she muses, she hasn't changed a bit and so is your opinion about her. Not even the slightest pity comes to you even though Taehyung is the one who dumped her over text.

“Well...here we are”. Taehyung stares down at you, and you both share a knowing smile. He is slightly taken aback when you lace your hands on his right arm, closing all gaps between your sides.

“This is Y/n right?...She's your date tonight?”

“Girlfriend”, he corrects, and places his other hand where yours rest on him, “Been dating for a week now”.

“Oh...”. Her painted lips part to say something and closes immediately. She was always competitive with Taehyung, a big reason why they didn't work out. For the matter of her self image, she adds, “I'm here with Mason, you know him right? My best friend?”.

Taehyung simply nods and quite believably Mason stands there in a distance, equally despising the party.

“We are dating as well”, she chirps, “since two weeks”.

It was quite pathetic how she wanted to win over everything and everyone on life. You simply nod until she is walking away and the peace settles in.

From the distance you watch other people, making inside jokes among yourselves. Ari seems to notice that and tries her best to push Mason's buttons to appear more couple-like.

“This turned out to be fun”, you comment genuinely and Taehyung seems to agree.

“Yeah...remember in college? We used to do this quite often at the library”

You giggle, reminiscing over the memories from years back. As work buddies, the bond hasn't drifted apart. But you grew more conserved and adult-ier while Taehyung still stayed the same.

“Oh my God look they are kissing!”, you whisper shout, eyeing to a deserted corner of the room. Ari was practically groping Mason by his collars for a kiss and he was clearly uncomfortable. You feel bad for the friend, how much he had to go through just because of someone he isn't even related to.

Taehyung giggles from above you, and when he looks down his eyes are oddly darker and carrying a different sort of energy, “This wasn't that bad”.

“Yeah”, your voice is wavering and you realise you've been clutching on to Taehyung’s arm all along.

“You want to go outside? It's suffocating here”

“Yes please”

The night is silent and calm. The place has a big ass garden covering all sides and you choose to stand near a bench, just in case your legs start to hurt.

“Did I tell you that you look absolutely beautiful?”

You blush, “You did tell me I look sexy earlier”.

“That too”. You didn't expect this to happen but he was closing the distance. Maybe he is unconscious about it. Maybe it's the alcohol. You don't know. His deft fingers finds the side of your face to tuck strands of your hair away as if to get a better look at your face.

“Baby you make me want to kiss you”. His voice is deeper, the deepest it had ever been according to you. It's like you needed years to process his words. But after a few seconds of no solid sign you nod profoundly.

“Then kiss me Tae”

His other hand is quick to find the small of your back and press you towards him. Ironic enough, he seemed both careful and messy into the kiss. Giving each of your lip attention. For a moment he freezes as to what has happened.

He kissed his best friend.

But are you a friend? Then why did Ari and him fight endless on your name, when Ari pointed out he has feelings for you, why did he beat around the bush?

On the other hand, you had grown impatient and lips are pressed again. And for the time being he throws those anxious thoughts to the back of his head.

For the comfort of straddling him, you push him backwards till he is seated on the bench and your legs on either side of his lap.

“I've wanted to do this for so long”, he moans when you kiss him again, feeling your tongue poking his lower lip.

“Can tell why you and Ari didn't work out”, you tease him, “I wanted this too”.

This was all the confession that it takes. The way he has you cradled around him and the passion in your kiss explains everything else. It was months of confusion and finally finding the light at the end of the tunnel.

A few moment into the sloppy kiss, you try to press your hips against his, which he adamantly stops.

“Patience babe”. He trails his hands along the exposed thighs, since your dress has ridden up a bit, “We are out”.

Squirming is the only answer you give him, pouting at the way he is continuing to tease you anyway, which doesn't really give gravity to what he just said. People were in their best decency (except for Ari of course) a few metres away and both of you are out in the garden with his hand creeping up to the prize between your thighs.

“Tae...”, you moan into his neck when his finger brush against the fabric of your panties.

“Lace? Interesting”

“Fuck. Quit it and do something”.

He listens to the way you take a sharp inhale as he nudges the material aside with his hand and traces the length of your sex.

He is painfully slow, enjoying the way you are slowly breaking apart. It was natural of you to test him back and fall your hands from his shoulders to his dented crotch.

“We don't want that”, he is quick to anticipate the attack and grip your wrist enough to hold it in place.

Before a complain or a swear slips from your lips, his middle finger is seated deep inside your core, making your thighs jump up from the contact.

Curling into your sweet spot, he pleasures you more when your clit is pressed and teased under his thumb.

“Tae- fuck!”. Another finger.

“Hm? You close already? My baby has literally no patience”

“Tae please keep going!”. Your finger digs into his back, but the linen of his suit makes it hard to grip into.

“You're so dirty you know, riding my fingers in public”. Beyond that only you were vocal with variant moans as he picks up the pace. And with an audible moan you creme his fingers, not even the slightest bit of anxiety that people may have heard the last of your sounds. If that's the case though, no more formal parties and more peace of mind.

“Not too bad?”, he teases, remembering your comment from earlier, “It gets better...you'll see”.

“Would love to see that”. You fiddle with his collars and soon enough distracted by the view of his neck, you nibble on the exposed skin.

“You want to get home?”, he asks, a bit breathless.

“Please”

Jimin knows Taehyung doesn't take work to home. So seeing your fucked out blissed faces and the rush in your steps, he is certain things have been well. So he buys whatever odd of a reason you provided and scooted out of the party for an amazing night.

♡ taglist: @yeolkoo @rasprings @dhiyaathaya

Thank you so much for reading!!! ♡♡

Original Content of ©bangtanpromotsfics

[chocodollxren]

Hello! Hope you don't mind another romantic crepe order, if that's alright? I wanted to offer my OC/twst-sona, Shopkeep to be paired up! Student or staff is fine, whoever seems to fit them the most. [Appearance just for reference]

Personality-wise, Shopkeep at first meeting can be a bit of a strange one. They are rather laid-back and amicable, generally being polite and helpful to anyone who comes to their bookstore. Yet, they have no qualms acting just downright unusual in the same breath. Like, "Oh you need this book? Here, lemme get it for you," then proceeds to act like an actual spider and climb up the shelves. (Pretty much a monster hiding in plain sight)

They tend to keep folks a bit at arms length for they have some trust issues out of a fear of being hurt by someone they love. But it isn't hard to worm one's way into Shopkeep's heart. If you give them care and attention, they will soak it up and be fiercely loyal/protective for life. Past their shell, Shopkeep is a sincere individual who is starved for close companions and would drop anything to rush to their loved ones if they're needed. Be it as a protector, a shoulder to cry on, or needing advice from them.

Tidbits, Shopkeep is for pragma love, Earth Tiger, and has a love language of quality time, gift giving, and BIG into physical affection. Thank you so much for offering this event and I hope for your continued success with your blog!

-> 𝙛𝙤𝙧 @twstedstoryshop ,, 𝙤𝙧𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙪𝙥 ,, 𝙡𝙞𝙢𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣𝙩 ” ! ꒱·˚ ,, #O5.31.22🍵 ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ RESULT. ❞

your order has been received! here’s the special event item on the menu, crepes! the special ingredient used was Jade Leech. your preferences have been noted and taken into consideration! the teamaster believes this would be the best blend for your tastes.

you’re a cautious one, holding people’s at an arm’s length away from you, but you’re also a friendly person. while you do enjoy company, you’re scared of it, not wanting to be hurt, making Jade your ideal match. similar to you, he keeps others at an arms length from him by his natural behavior, but he does care for certain people who work their way into his heart. once the both of you get close, and likes your odd behavior. he appreciates your kindness, and willingness to help your friends.

it may be hard to get into a relationship at first since Jade never considered having one, but as time progress he opened up and entertained the idea. your love would probably start out really slow at the beginning, picking up from there. Jade is a very calm and mature man, but definitely has a bit of a playful and teasing side. he enjoys being kept on his toes, when you do unusual things, it tends to surprise him no matter what and makes him chuckle, something he doesn’t get tired of. although he’s hard to approach at first due to his shady nature, he really is a caring person if you’re someone he loves.

similar to you, he enjoys quality time as his love language, and he is also someone who partakes in acts of service. he’d be happy to receive any gifts you’d give, and spend time cuddling the longer you’ve been in a relationship most of the time in return for your gifts he does acts of service for you by helping you with whatever is needed, he comes with experience due to the Monstro Lounge, as well. he thinks you’re willingness to help others is cute, but will be the voice of reason. if someone is taking advantage of this generosity, Jade would step in and stop them from exploiting it. just like how you take care of others, he’s going to be there to take care of you and ensure you aren’t overworking yourself for the sake of others, taking some time to focus on you as the two of you cuddle, him preferably the bigger spoon.

although you do not have many dealbreakers, Jade does have some! the first would you make sure you never insult Floyd, or tell him you do not want him near you and are scared of him. his brother is a major point of his life, if you can’t get over his brother it’s a major dealbreaker. secondly, you need to be okay with his hobbies. this includes growing fungi in your house or garden, he doesn’t ask for much, just that you reserve a small space for them, he won’t keep the poisonous ones near you. finally, you need to accept his eel-form. he cannot have a partner that’s uncomfortable with the way he really looks like, or doesn’t want to look at him when he’s in his natural form.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ FRIENDS. ❞

your friend group would probably consist of Ace, Floyd and Lilia. the three are very different in personalities, but are all fans of the way you act, and returning one of your ways of affection. they are all a bit teasing, but are definitely loyal friends.

Ace likes to tease you often for your behavior, but he does enjoy it! he is fine with the way you put up walls at first, since he’s there to stay for the long run. he’s great with physical affection and doesn’t mind receiving gifts. he’s likely to ask you to do dumb stuff with him to scare others, though, so be cautious.

Floyd comes with the territory. if you’re dating Jade, he’s going to be there regardless if you invite him or not. regardless if he weaseled himself in or you like him, he’s enjoys watching your odd quirks and habits. he’s also big on affection, ready to pounce and hug, squeeze, you whenever he or you want. he does make threats sometimes regarding dating Jade, but a relatively decent person once you get to know him.

Lilia is a very old man who is mature, but definitely can act like a fiend. he finds how you act entertaining, and questions whether you’re human or a different creature. just as he enjoys surprising people by hanging upside down, he enjoys seeing you doing monster things naturally. he’s definitely someone who enjoys quality time with friends and others, too.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ AVOID. ❞

you should probably avoid Jamil, Rook. the two are very different on the spectrum of reasons of why to avoid. Jamil hates bugs and the way you act or do creepy things according to him reminds him of that, while Rook would simply like to hunt you down for his interests.

Jamil does not like physical touch from others until he’s accustomed to it, and it would take a very long time. the way you act is a major turn off to him and freaks him out, especially if you do the spider walk thing, due to his entomophobia. he’s snarky at times, and just general not a fan of getting to know others, also keeping others at an arms-length away from him.

Rook can be a little bit too intrigued by your behavior that it becomes off-putting. he finds it like a game, and mainly one of scaring you or stalking you until you do something odd. it’s in your best interest to stay away from him, since just as you’re able to casually do something like a monster in plain sight would, he’s able to casually make a comment about how he’d recently struck down a monster that resembled the way you acted, wondering if you were like it. on the side, avoid Vil, who will want to see what your face looks like and chastise you about it.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY. ❞

those born in the year of the tiger are optimists, they are independent and although scary to approach at first, they can be quite soft! tigers also can be a bit hardheaded, due to their overconfidence in their own abilities. specifically, earth tigers are eager to help others, but a little bit too prideful.

Jade is a goat or sheep, (release date - age) depending on which story version you read. those born in the year of the sheep are more friendly and approachable people, but they tend to avoid being the center of attention and like to have nicer things through money.

your compatibility is a good relationship! although not perfect, your compatibility is pretty good, so long as the two of you talk things through and try to work with each other to better your relationship. just don’t break up, it won’t end pretty.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ LOVE COMPATIBILITY. ❞

those with the pragma love others based off benefits and desire. pragma lovers tend to think with their head, rather than with their heart. to them, love is more of a business relationship, or how their partner would benefit them. would they be a good partner in the textbook sense? they think, “would this person be good enough for what i need them for?”

Jade’s love type is a mixture of pragma and storge. he starts off seeking no relationship, and views love through the lens of a pragma. eventually, once in love, he finds himself on the side of a storge. those who are storge wish to have a deep and meaningful bond with their friend first, not jumping into things. they prefer taking it slow, knowing about the other person slowly.

your compatibility is a range from decent-good. depending on your point in the relationship, things may be a little rocky. two pragmas could work things out, since they see love as something that’s just there to achieve the perfect life. however, as Jade becomes more of a storge the more he understands about love, it could make things a bit difficult. pragmas tend to follow logic over emotion, while storges want to have a meaningful relationship first, before a relationship.

❁ཻུ۪۪ ━ ❝ FLUFF SCENARIO. ❞

 “Shopkeep, could you please hand me the terrarium next to you?” Jade asked, delicately placing a false parasol into the one he was working on. you were wondering why Jade asked you to visit his dorm, but he wouldn’t tell you anything other than how he was building a special set of terrariums he needed your help with. you obliged, helping your boyfriend, but remained curious on what he was doing or why he was taking it so seriously, asking your opinion throughout the entire day.

as you handed him the terrarium, he finished placing the mushroom down and using his tweezers, moved it to a bit of an angle, opposite of the one in the terrarium you handed him. he checked it thoroughly, a smile beginning to show on his face as he added in some grass and rocks, his creepiness growing. though, you couldn’t deny you hated seeing him so passionate about something.

finishing up, you watched him as he dusted it, wrapping a ribbon around the bottom and handing it to you. it clicked then and there what he had done and why he wanted your input so badly. “Jade…” you mutter before giving him a big hug, him reciprocating and delicately placing the terrarium down with his free hand. “careful, it’s poisonous.” he gently warned before giving you a proper cuddle session.

✎ ˎˊ- "chocodollxren" [choco - doll - rhen] ˖˚˳⊹ 'ּ໋݊◵ dn repost.

thank you <33 and thank you for ordering! ((: hope you enjoy your results!! now it’s 8/34+ orders done! thank you for everyone’s patience. i hope you don’t mind it’s written as you / your instead of they/them for shopkeep;; i don’t think shopkeep is would have very many close friends or enemies, but i think they’re more on the neutral and friendly scale with most people, if it makes sense? so it was a little hard to write that.

ive been a bit busy recently so im sorry for the time it has taken! <33 thank you for everyone ordering and requesting, recently! i appreciate it all.

[wilds-ponytail]

Ok I am here again. If you want me to tell about why exactly I don't relate to Mirabel just ask ok ? But for now...

WHY WAS MIRABEL AT THE CENTER OF THE MOVIE BUT NOT ANYONE ELSE ??? *UGLY CRY 😭😭😭* Like why couldn't Luisa come with her to visit Bruno room ?? She literally had a whole song on how she felt pressured to be the pillar of the family ? Wouldn't she feel like she has to stop whatever is going on herself ?? Imagine we could have so many protective biggest sister/youngest sister in Bruno's room ! It would have been so cool ! We could have a conflict where Mirabel unknowingly deepen the pressure Luisa felt ! We could have Luisa trying to shoulder everything herself and Mirabel feeling like not being trusted and confronting Luisa about it ! Do you know how much powerful "Surface Pressure" would have been if it played at that moment with Mirabel apologising for making it worse while hugging her big sis after that ??! (Well probably not since you didn't see the movie. Chances are you are confuses on some thing I'm saying... Sorry about that).

But scratch that, Isabella should have come too (to escape for her future fiancee for a little while for example). Like let me see her disruptive relationship with her little sis ! Let us see clue of the ""flaws"" she felt she has to hide. Let her show us the progress she will do to overcome that toxic mentality. Let us see how that mentality affected not only her, but also her family negatively. Do NOT expose us her trouble suddenly only to resolve it in 1 song sung 10 seconds later *sigh*. To be clear I don't blame the film for dropping us the bombshell that she don't want the marriage because actually not dropping any visible hint (when you don't look for them) was a pretty good idea but seriously... Why resolve it 10 seconds later...

I think that the film really didn't agence it's time well here. We deserved more family bonding scene. But here it's like they assumed that we didn't need to be showed their dynamics because they are already family. Without understanding that seeing the dynamics is the whole point !! I don't know if it would have been good in 1h43 to show us all that if we had the trio or if they totally miscalculated the time needed to twelve on all the thing they would have to talk about and it would have like, needed (and deserved) 2 films. But yeah it just all felt rushed to me. Also I could talk on how putting the focus too much on Mirabel and not letting the other characters have discovery about the oher members of the family meant that the movie seperated the goal of the movie and the objectif our protagonist had to achieve but let's go there.

Now, let us talk about Bruno.

To be continued. *music starts playing*

~ ENCANTO SPOILERS ~

Ahhhhh Mirabel accidentally making Luisa feel worse would be?? I love it when that sort of thing happens in fics, just a character feeling bad and then someone making them feel even worse without knowing? I love that shit

No two families are the same ! They should show the dynamic of the family rather than just leave the audience to decide what it's like, because while the audience can imagine it's the same as their own family, not everyone is from a happy/good family!!

It sounds like Isabella missed out getting some on screen character development which is terrible because character development is way more important than any potential shock value

[skypied]

OR!!!! Or something about big sad gay wip!! That one doesn’t take up too much of my headspace because I know literally nothing about it but that’s subject to change if I actually ask about it

Ah yes..... big sad gay wip...... my beloved mortal enemy...

I've been holding back sharing any info on it bc I've been so unsure of the tone and angstiness of it. And it's constantly evolving. This'll likely be a bit incoherent, bc so much is still up in the air, but here's a bit of the... concept and process? or something

I'm trying very hard to keep it brief. Yeah, this long as fuck post is me being brief.

First it started as a pretty generic Luberto first time fic, but it grew and grew and grew into something that could/will probably be 30-50k, including some relationship/communication issues between them, and a bit of "figuring out how to live their lives safely but happily as young queer adults". (It's already 25k and I am barely... Halfway. Maybe. So. Lol.)

Then I had the idea, "what if Alberto curbed his loneliness, hunger for affection, and the inherent loneliness of growing up as a young queer kid in a small town with little to no affirmation it's okay to be gay, by cruising/having a lot of casual sex and it fucked up his relationship to his own sexuality?"

Which already is a preeeeeetty big thing to explore both with him individually and with how he and Luca would get together and how their relationship would progress without all the "first time fic" ideas I had before that.

SO what was originally the "big sad gay wip" has become the "first time fic".

first time fic: will be without the aforementioned Alberto angst and be something long form and focus more on relationship difficulties/arguing between them mainly re: Luca applying to university and figuring out how serious their relationship really is, and figuring out how to live safely as young queer adults and general themes of growing up I guess? These snippets are from what is now the first time fic. (”first time fic” probably isn’t a good descriptor for it anymore, but that’s all I can think of as a name for it - bc what it started with was capturing their first time)

the new big sad gay wip: will be featuring the Alberto+sex angst, but it's very loose currently. I'm trying to not restrict myself or wrangle it into a narrative yet, what I have is 13.5k in various sections that are barely chronological. I'm struggling to figure out how angsty/whumpy it's gonna be. Right now the answer is very.

inserting a break here for cw/tw about underage sex/sexual abuse/assault and some gray-area consent in the next indented paragraphs, just in case - feel free to skip ahead

I have some heavy sections where Massimo's fishermen colleagues take advantage of him regularly, and Alberto starts thinking Massimo is in on it, that he's consciously letting the other fishermen have a go at him so he can earn his keep basically. There's also a scene where Alberto asks if Massimo wants the same from him. Really leaning into the daddy issues here.

When the boys more or less get together, Luca doesn’t know any of this and is overjoyed and excited to finally get to kiss and touch him, but Alberto’s just... being really antsy and avoidant. Luca thinks he’s just shy and after waiting patiently for a while, tries being more forwards. When Alberto reacts badly he gets really anxious and guilty about whether Alberto even wants to be with him and if he’s been forcing himself on him but Alberto is too kind/afraid to lose his friendship to say no.

BUT I just am not sure. It feels almost too angsty. I like it! It’s just almost too much. Idk. Figuring it out.

Now for what the plot is? No clue yet. Just know of the inner conflicts, not the outer. I’m not good at threading things together in a narrative, or even having enough scene ideas to make a whole narrative. But I don't wanna rush it either. This is like the fic I want to write, you know? I'm scared to rush it. So I'm just letting it marinate and writing whatever I feel like might fit when I feel like it and doing my best to just see what happens and trust the process that it will end up as something.

I think splitting them up is for the best and that it will make both easier to write! Before splitting them I was in a much bigger conflict regarding the tone running through it all, now both feel a lot clearer and more concise and easier to tack ideas onto. (If you click through the tag for the “first time fic”, skim those and compare to the indented section about the “new big sad gay wip” I think you can see why the two are hard to combine.)

I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE, I have been dying to talk about it but feeling like I shouldn't show my hand, you know? Especially since I am super aware it's prone to changing even more. But I'm trying to be more open with it and trying to explain it to outside eyes helps a lot! I typed this all up on Monday and on Tuesday I was making new progress! also it's christmas! time to be sharing and caring or something! even though it kinda terrifies me to the point of shaking clicking post on this bc I’m so anxious about this idea

Thanks for asking! <3 Now both of these can live in your mind too if you want

[songsoomin]

Begin Again Part 3 (A, S, F)

Word count 7k

Idol!Jongho x Fem!Reader, Best friend!Hongjoong. Reader has serious body confidence issues due to an emotionally abusive past relationship but Jongho helps her recover. Y/N is struggling with the anxiety of being intimate due to feeling exposed because she still can’t imagine anyone finding her physically attractive.

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, both emotional and psychological, body shaming, anxiety issues. Oral sex (m and f receiving), unprotected sex but reader is on oral contraception, very slight mention of manhandling and strength kink. Smut from the very beginning. In fact, most of this chapter is about Jongho and Y/N’s first time together.

Authour’s note: Reader is overweight but not as massive as she thinks she is. She has been conditioned through psychological abuse to believe she is very fat and unattractive. This is not intended to be the kind of story where reader becomes thin and is then happy and gets male attention (although, due to reader’s warped sense of self she does equate being thin with being happy). Even after losing some weight (for her own health and happiness) she is still somewhat overweight and curvy but the more important part is that she gets her confidence back and that is what makes her happier and more attractive.

Part 1 Part 2

Posted 9th February 2021

Soft moans left you as Jongho kissed your neck, biting lightly then swiping his tongue over the delicate skin where he'd just bitten. You were laying on his bed where you had been watching a film until Jongho's gentle touches turned into something more.

It had been months now since you had officially begun dating, after that night at the club. At the coffee shop you'd almost convinced yourself that he probably confessed because he'd been drinking but he promised to convince you otherwise, having seen the doubt on your face. You'd gone to bed that night hoping you were wrong and, true to his word, Jongho turned up at your apartment the next day for a real date.

Despite it having been months - and Jongho being the most amazing boyfriend - you'd not gone much further than kissing. Sometimes he would touch your chest over your clothes but you were still too insecure to be undressed in front of him. It wasn't that you didn't want to go further because you really, really did. Jongho's lips drove you crazy but something in your head just wasn't letting you progress in your relationship.

You sighed, frustrated, and Jongho pulled away to look at you.

"Y/N...it's fine. I told you I'll wait as long as you need. You don't need to rush this if you're not ready."

"I'm sorry, Jongho, you know I want to...I just...I can't get past this insecurity. It's like my brain can't accept that you'll still like me once you see me with my clothes off. I still can't see why you like me even with them on."

Your boyfriend looked at you sadly, his shoulders dropping slightly. It hurt him how you still thought of yourself.

"Y/N, you are so beautiful and one day I'm going to show you just how beautiful I think you are."

Despite him saying this kind of thing to you often, he could see that the message still wasn't getting through and wondered if there was something else bothering you.

"You know you're safe with me, right?" He said seriously.

"Of course, I do! It's not that."

Jongho was nothing like your ex but the damage he'd done meant that you were still having trouble trusting your new boyfriend. You trusted him to treat you well and be the wonderful person that he was...you just didn't trust that he'd still want you once you were naked in front of him. You genuinely worried that once he saw you like that he'd be disgusted and change his mind.

"Why don't we wind back the film and catch up on what we missed?" Jongho suggested.

He could see you were deep in thought but it didn't look like you were going to elaborate on your reply.

"Okay."

You gave him a small smile but it didn't reach your eyes. You watched the film distractedly, too busy hating yourself for not being able to move on from your past and feeling like a massive let down to Jongho.

                                                   ********

Some weeks later you were in the same situation except in your apartment now, Jongho on your comfy sofa with you sitting on his lap, facing him. When he first asked you'd resisted, sure your weight would make him too uncomfortable but when you voiced your concerns he'd cheekily replied with a wink,

"There's only one place you're making me uncomfortable."

Now you were straddling his lap you loved it. You could feel his strong thighs beneath you and his large hands on your hips. Your boyfriend's tongue explored your mouth once again and every now and then he would nibble on your bottom lip, eliciting quiet moans from you.

As he moved his lips along your jawline and down the soft skin of your neck, you started to feel that familiar tingling in your core and couldn't help but to grind against his crotch. His jeans were tight against the large bulge there and you smiled to yourself thinking back to his comment about you making him uncomfortable. You continued to grind against him and a louder moan slipped past your lips at the friction you felt.

Jongho took this as a positive sign and slowly moved his hands underneath the floaty top you were wearing. He always moved slowly so he could guage your reaction before going too far for you. You froze before quickly gathering yourself and pulling your top back down - the dark blonde man's hands already gone having felt you tense up.

Looking away from him you mumbled the apology you'd become used to giving and earning the usual sad look from Jongho because he kept telling you, you don't have to apologise for how you feel. Gently he moved you off his lap and onto the seat next to him but took your hands in his.

"Y/N...I'm not trying to rush you, I just really want to show you how beautiful I think you are...and how much I want you."

He sounded so sincere it made you feel even worse. You didn't want him to feel bad when he'd done nothing wrong.

"I know and I'm sorry. You're not making me feel pressured at all and I do want to do this but I can't get over the fear that you won't want me once you really see me."

"What do you mean?"

A confused look crossed Jongho's face as he waited for you to elaborate. You thought for a moment, trying to frame the words.

"Well...once you see what I look like underneath all this..." you said feebly gesturing to your clothes, "you won't want me anymore. I'll disgust you."

Jongho managed to look both astonished and incredulous at the same time.

"That's really what you think? That I'm so shallow I'd change my mind over your appearance?"

You looked away because the look he gave you now just made you feel ashamed.

"Haven't I told you enough times how beautiful I think you are?"

"I know I look better now I've lost some weight but - "

He let go of your hands suddenly and you felt the weight of your mistake in his absence.

"Don't you dare imply I only like you because you lost weight!"

He'd never got upset with you before but the hurt and anger in his voice was unmistakable.

You looked up cautiously not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.

"The first time I saw you I thought you were the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen - that's why I was so shy around you. I couldn't have cared less what size you were. When you mentioned losing weight I saw that as my chance to get to know you alone. I didn't think you needed to change, I just wanted to spend time with you."

"Jongho, I - "

"You know, I don't have any problem waiting until you're ready and feel comfortable but what really hurts is that you think I could be anything like him."

The disdain in Jongho's tone as he mentioned your emotionally abusive ex was so obvious it made the vast difference between them strike you even more. They were polar opposites so why were you treating Jongho like he could be similar in any way? You sat, quietly ashamed while he continued.

"I think you look amazing but you are so much more to me than what you look like. How could you think I'd only care about that? Is that the kind of person you think I am?"

You looked up at your boyfriend without an answer. It was impossible to escape that you'd really hurt him but you didn't know how to make it better. You'd let your insecurities cloud your mind to the kind of man he was. It was him who was amazing and you'd made him feel like you didn't trust him at all.

"I'm sorry, Jongho...I just..."

You didn't have any other words so you just looked down at your hands while you wrung them unconsciously.

"I know your past treatment has really damaged how you feel about yourself...but I thought you knew I was better than that."

He paused just long enough to collect his keys and wallet before adding,

"I'm going to head home. I'll see you later."

You felt helpless to stop him as he walked out the door and quietly shut it behind him. The fact he'd shut it quietly was more like a slap in the face than if he'd slammed it - it showed how much more hurt he was than angry.  

Tears bagan falling down your face as you sat motionless on the sofa. Jongho was so patient and understanding and you'd just stomped all over that. It was enough that your past was still hurting you; you couldn't allow it to hurt him, too.

                                                    ********

"Joong?"

"Hmm?"

"I don't know what to do."

"About what?"

It was Friday night, your weekly movie night with Hongjoong and your bright red-haired best friend was sitting beside you on the couch engrossed in the film you were supposed to be watching but you were having trouble concentrating. All you could think of was the last time you'd seen Jongho and how hurt he'd looked.

"I really hurt Jongho and I don't know how to make it better. Has he said anything to you."

"No, he doesn't really confide in any of us about personal stuff. What happened?"

You cleared your throat as Hongjoong looked at you, expectant.

"Well, we haven't been...intimate yet..."

You trailed off as the male's eyes widened slightly as he realised where the conversation was going. You looked away, somewhat embarrassed. You'd talked to Joong about sex before but not about your own sex-life - or lack-thereof.

"Oh. Right. Well, now I think about it I know you guys weren't doing anything at the dorm but I guess I just assumed you were doing it here at your place. Not that I really thought about it."

He quickly added the last part and you laughed despite your unease.

"Can I ask what that has to do with hurting him?"

You shifted uncomfortably because you knew it was unfair to have let your past affect how you thought of Jongho and you didn't want Hongjoong to judge you.  

"It's not that I think he'd be nasty or anything...I'm just so scared that he won't feel the same about me once he sees me...naked."

Hongjoong fixed you with a look that somehow managed to both sympathise and disapprove at the same time.

"Y/N, Jongho isn't like that. You know he's not."

You looked down at your hands, feeling a bit ashamed of yourself.

"I do know but I can't seem to let go of the fear that he'll realise I'm not good enough."

You best friend sighed and put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you to his side.

"I do understand why you can't; your ex spent everyday making you feel worthless. But..." He shifted so he was looking you in the eye,

"I don't think you'll ever overcome it until you take that leap. Until you do it and see that you were worrying for nothing, that fear will just eat away at you. You've made so much progress with your confidence lately so I know you can do this."

"Believe me I want to." You said earnestly. "He's so fucking hot I just want to -"

"Hey!" Hongjoong startled you with a shout, "I do not want to know what you want to do to him. He's like my baby brother, I can't think of him doing that shit."

"Ah, yeah. Sorry."

"Seriously, though, Jongho really likes you and I can't imagine anything will change his mind. He doesn't vocalise his emotions much but I've seen the way he looks at you when he thinks we can't see. He adores you. He has done since he first saw you."

You were resolved now. He was right, it would never get better if you didn't take a chance. You were supposed to be seeing Jongho tomorrow night so you wouldn't have long to wait.

"You're right, Joong. Thank you. I'm just going to have to go for it."

"Well, look at it this way...if you saw Jongho naked and he's not...uh...as big as you imagined, would it change how you felt about him?"

You rolled your eyes.

"Of course not. To be honest, though," You lowered your voice slightly, "from what I've felt I don't think that will be a prob-"

"Stop it!" Hongjoong looked horrified but you couldn't help but laugh.

"Sorry, Joong. You did bring it up though."

                                                ********

The next day you decided to do everything you could to make yourself feel attractive and desirable; you waxed, shaved your legs, put on your best perfume and make up. When it came to clothes you didn't go all out as it was just a night in with Jongho but, earlier that day, you did spend some time shopping for a new matching bra and panties set. You didn't want to go slutty (yet) as it was going to be your first time with him but you still wanted it to be sexy. In the end you went for a pink with sexy lace detailing and cute, little bows. You weren't really sure what Jongho liked yet but you thought a bit of sexy and bit of cute would cover all bases.

You'd probably overthought all of it because you knew Jongho wasn't like your ex and he wouldn't be cruel but, in the back of your mind, you still had that fear that you would disgust him. It's what you'd come to think anyone would feel upon seeing you like that. You knew he was entitled to be upset with you when you voiced those fears to him, though, because it implied he was shallow. Thinking that he might care more about what size you were belittled his feelings for you.

You knew those feelings were there in everything he did. Hongjoong was right, Jongho didn't voice his emotions much but you could see how he felt about you in how caring he was. Often asking if you're feeling ok, making sure you're happy, making you laugh. He wasn't one for a lot of physical affection but he'd always wind his arm around you when out walking. If you were just watching tv he'd hold your hand or pull you in to his side. He seemed especially aware of when you were anxious like he was attuned to your emotions. He wasn't obvious about it but he would just take your hand and rub soothing circles over your skin with his thumb until you felt calmer.

When you really thought about just what an amazing boyfriend Jongho was, you could hardly believe you let your fear of rejection marr your relationship with him. You had to overcome it, though, because Jongho was just too precious to lose. You hadn't fully acknowledged it yet but you knew you were in love with him. Hopefully he felt the same about you.

The evening came and you and Jongho were watching a Netflix show you'd recently gotten in to, however, he could see that you weren't really concentrating. Observant of you, as always, he noticed your fidgeting hands and took them in his to calm you.

"What's wrong, Baby?"

What were you to say? 'I want to fuck you tonight but I'm not sure how to start things off’? You were never the one to start anything physical between the two of you, given that the nasty part of your brain loved to remind you that you might not be wanted.

"Nothing...I just wanted to do something but I'm not sure how to start."

That was a lie, really. You knew what to do, you just weren't sure how to summon up the courage.

A confused look flashed across your boyfriend's face at your very vague statement.

"What did you want to do?"

Summoning your courage you leant forward and pressed your lips to his. You felt his surprise for a second as he was always the initiator but it was only for a second - he eagerly returned the kiss from there on.

Jongho parted his lips slightly and swiped his tongue across your lower lip - an indication that he wanted to deepen it, to which you more than happily obliged.

As your tongues swirled around each other's you shifted on the couch to straddle his lap, just resting on his strong, thick thighs. This was another thing you'd never done, too worried your weight would be uncomfortable for him but you imagined if he was, he would let you know but he gave no sign of that. On the contrary, he seemed all too pleased to have you there, his hands grabbing your hips and pulling you further down into him.

As you continued to kiss you could feel the bulge in his jeans growing and gave an experimental thrust of your hips, earning a low moan from the man beneath you.

"Mmm, Baby what's gotten into you tonight?"

The way he looked up at you, his dark eyes curious but full of desire stirred a long-buried confidence from within you, resurrecting your dirtier side.

"Nothing...but I know what I'd like in me."

The best word to describe the look on Jongho's face was dumbstruck. This was absolutely not the kind of thing he expected to hear coming out of your mouth and, after taking a few seconds to recover, he cleared his throat.

"Y/N, are you sure you want to do this? You know I don't mind waiting until you're ready."

"I don't want to wait anymore. I want you."

Just then a horrible thought struck you - courtesy of the nasty part of your brain. What if he didn't mind waiting because he didn't like you that much?

"Unless you don't want to, of course."

Jongho rolled his eyes.

"Baby, I want to. So much. Just because I'm willing to wait until you're comfortable doesn't mean I'm not desperate to fuck you."

"Really?"

"You have no idea how much."

Feeling elated, you kissed him feverishly, your confidence renewed by his words. He returned the kiss just as enthusiastically, slipping his tongue in and making you go weak, like always.

You began grinding your hips against his clothed cock once more and Jongho moved his lips from your mouth to your neck, kissing along your smooth skin towards your shoulder, moving the fabric of your flimsy top and your bra strap aside when it got in his way. Both of you were getting pretty worked up at this point so he pulled away to whisper in your ear,

"Let's go into the bedroom."

A thrill of excitement ran through you at the meaning behind those words because, despite your insecurities about your body, you had fantasised about fucking Jongho for months now.

He led you into your bedroom by your hand - he hadn't been in here before as you'd never got to this point but, despite having not seen it, he didn't waste time looking around the room; his attention was solely on you as he headed straight for the bed. He sat you down on the side of your big bed and gently pushed you back - you got the hint and shuffled into the middle of your big bed with him following. You laid down and Jongho settled beside you, propping himself up on one arm and looking down at you, his eyes searched your face one last time for any signs you weren't sure about this. It wasn't your first time but it was your first time with him and the first time with anyone since your confidence and self-worth had become so damaged.

"Remember...if at any point you don't feel comfortable or change your mind...tell me and we can stop."

You placed your hands on either side of his face and smiled up at him - he was always thinking about you over himself. You didn't know how you'd got this lucky.

"I might not feel comfortable with myself but I am with you. I won't want to stop." You told him confidently and it was true; you knew he was going to look after you.

You pulled him down towards you so you could kiss him again - it had only been minutes since you last kissed but you needed his lips on yours again.

Jongho's soft lips pressed against yours gently at first but became more demanding as time went on and you kissed him back with just as much enthusiasm. The way your tongues swirled around each other felt somehow different this time - maybe because you both knew it was leading to more this time. Sometimes when you were kissing Jongho you felt you were both a bit reserved about it because you knew it wouldn't lead anywhere so why get yourselves that worked up? This time there was more passion, more desperation; you both wanted this so much. He wasn't rushing, though, he was taking his time and allowing you to feel comfortable before moving on to the next step.  

Your boyfriend's lips left yours to travel down to your neck, kissing and sucking your delicate skin while you got your breath back from the long kissing session. While he did this, the hand that he had on the side of your neck slowly moved down your chest and under the flimsy top you wore. You couldn't help but tense up and he paused his hand's movement but you put your hand on top of his and moved it upwards, urging him to continue. As anxious as you were, you wanted him to carry on...to feel his hands on your body.

Jongho's fingers lightly ghosted over the part of your breast that wasn't covered by your bra and just this simple touch was enough to start the excitement building in you. You wanted more, you wanted to be free for him to touch your chest so you did the bravest thing you'd done in ages, you sat up and lifted your top right up over your head, throwing it somewhere on the floor. You felt exposed but Jongho smiled at you appreciatively. You didn't know but this reassured him in a big way. He was worried that, as he was always the one to initiate anything between you, he was pushing you forward quicker than you'd like but this small action let him know you wanted this, too, and that you trusted him to be exposed in front of him like this.

More confident now, the dark blonde straddled you on the bed and returned to kissing your neck, switching between soft kisses and licks to biting and sucking - wanting to mark you so everyone could see you were his. As he marked the sensitive skin between your neck and shoulder a moan slipped past you at the sensation and you bit your hand to try and stifle it, embarrased at how easy it was for him to affect you like that.

"Don't." He said, gently pulling your hand away from your mouth, "I want to hear you. I want to hear how I'm making you feel."

You nodded and he went back to kissing you, slipping your bra straps off and moving down your chest, stopping to mark the top of one breast before reaching his hands behind to undo the clasp and removing the pretty bra completely. Instinctively your hands flew up to cover yourself but Jongho was quicker, grabbing your wrists and pinning them on each side of your head.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked with a small smile on his face. "I want to be able to see my beautiful girlfriend's body."

You couldn't deny him, not when he was looking at you so sincerely. Like he really did think you were something worth looking at.

"I'm going to let go of you now and you are not going to cover yourself up." The authoritative tone in his voice only added to your arousal but he really made you shiver when he brought one of your hands up to his head and said lowly,

"If you really need to do something with your hands you can play with my hair. I like it."

Your fingers trailed through Jongho's soft hair as he leaned down and brushed his lips against your breast...almost at your nipple but just teasing around it. Next he placed a kiss on the hardened bud, softly but just enough to excite you and have your core clenching around nothing. When he finally latched on to your nipple and sucked hard a thrill shot straight to your core and you pulled on his hair, earning a low groan from him.

He continued sucking and nibbling while he pinched and twisted your other nipple, switching sides every now and then and really working you up. If he was trying to excite you so much that you started to forget about your insecurities, then it was working. You didn't even tense up as he began to kiss down your stomach, undoing your jeans as he went. It would be a lie to say your worries weren't still in the back of your mind but Jongho was making you feel so good, kissing everywhere - even the areas you thought were too big - like he wanted to love every single part of you.

Your head snapped up when he stopped and got up - anxieties all ready to bubble up to the surface - but he just smiled at you from the end of the bed as he pulled your jeans completely off and said,

"Don't worry, Baby...my mouth will be right back in a second."

You giggled and relaxed back as he discarded your jeans, watching him crawl back up the bed to you before kissing you passionately. You felt his gentle fingers stroke your folds over your panties and had a brief moment of embarassment upon realising he must be able to feel the dampness from how excited he'd already made you. It was only a brief moment, though, because the overriding feeling was an absolute desire for him to stop being gentle and slide his long fingers inside you already. There was no way he didn't know this because you began to squirm slightly and bring your legs together in an effort to get a little friction at least.

"Are you that impatient?" He whispered in your ear, his hot breath fanning over your skin.

"I want you." You whimpered shyly; aware that he held all the power in this scenario but not minding one bit. If you had to define your temperament in bed, you would definitely be on the subby side.

"You can have whatever you want." He laughed affectionately, nibbling your earlobe before moving down to where you wanted him most.

Jongho slowly started to slide your damp panties down your legs and you felt like you just might explode. You were now wondering if he wasn't just going slow to make you feel more comfortable but instead wanted you to die from sexual frustration. You watched him impatiently as he finally took them off completely and he smirked. He was definitely teasing you and enjoying every minute of it.

His strong hands gripped your knees and parted your legs before positioning himself in between them but he wasn't done teasing yet. His soft lips ghosted over the delicate skin of your inner thighs right up to where they met your pussy. You could feel his breath tickle your folds as he hesitated, just admiring you and you whined loudly, partly because you felt too much on display but mostly because you needed some relief right now.

"Jongho!"

"Okay, okay. I'll stop teasing. Every single part of you is just so beautiful, even your pretty little pussy. I could just look at it all day"

You moaned again at his words and he dove straight in like he'd been waiting forever to do this, his hot tongue parting your wet folds and licking straight up from your core to your clit as his hands found their way around your thighs to pull you closer to him.

The moan that left you when his tongue finally touched you there was loud and erotic because he'd worked you up so much you'd become desperate for it - your clit so sensitive from anticipation that you imagined you'd cum embarrasingly quickly. In response to your obscene noises you felt the vibration of Jongho's low groan run through you - only adding to the sensations his tongue was providing.

As he lapped at your clit you couldn't help but grab his hair tightly, trying not to pull too hard but failing. He didn't seem to mind, though, he was getting more turned on by it if the grinding of his hips into the bed beneath him was anything to go by. Desperate for more you pulled him further in to you by his hair and he somehow knew what you wanted; he closed his lips around your clit and sucked hard. Another porn star-like moan escaped you; no one had ever made you feel quite this good before. He was almost taking your breath away with ther sheer pleasure his mouth was giving you.

Jongho's fingers dug in to your thighs as he pulled you impossibly close and alternated between licking and sucking but it was when he started to nibble at your clit that you came hard and loud, the waves of your orgasm flooding over you and drowning you in more pleasure than you'd ever felt before. It seemed to last forever as the dark blonde didn't stop, still lightly sucking to keep your high going. It wasn't until your legs were shaking and you were whimpering from overstimulation that he finally let go - not before a couple of kitten licks to your now unbearably sensitive bud.

Jongho crawled up the bed and reclined next to you, leaning on his elbow so he could look down at your blissfully fucked-out expression. He cupped your face with his hand and kissed your lips; you were still a little dazed but you enthusiastically kissed him back. His hand trailed to your breast, using his thumb to stroke your hard nipple and you squirmed a little as the feeling went straight back to your swollen clit. It was both excrutiating and incredibly pleasurable but too much for you to bear right now so you reluctantly took his hand and interlocked your fingers while you kissed instead.

Of course, he knew what you were doing and the smug look on his face confirmed that.

"Was it too much?" He inquired with fake innocence.

You shook your head and closed your eyes, still a little out of breath and he giggled at your still dazed state.

You laid quietly for a few moments, your boyfriend's hands stroking your skin, before deciding it was his turn. You got up and pulled on his shirt, indicating you wanted it off, he quickly complied and, once free of the clothing, you pushed him so he was laying flat on the bed. Straddling him you kissed his soft lips first, noting there was still a faint trace of you on them, before giving a little kitten lick to his top lip and moving down to his neck. As you kissed the skin around his collarbone he moaned lowly - clearly he enjoyed being kissed there as much as you did.

The noises coming from Jongho seemed to increase as you made your way down his toned chest and abs, running your warm hands over his smooth skin as you went. His body was so beautiful but, for once, you didn't feel inferior. The way he had treated you so far made you feel adored and even now, naked and exposed, he looked at you so appreciatively. The only thing you were feeling right now was amazement that someone this perfect could be yours.

As you reached the line of soft hair that went down from his belly button and disappeared into his jeans you felt excited to see what was underneath. You had a good idea that he was on the bigger side from the bulge you'd seen after some heated kissing sessions but you couldn't wait to see it for real so you started to unbutton his jeans. Jongho leaned up on his elbows, watching with anticipation as you unzipped him and took the waistband of his jeans and boxers in your hands. You looked up at him as you pulled them down, taking in his wide eyes and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. Part of you wanted to pay him back for the teasing while another wanted to draw out this moment of anticipation so you pulled down his clothing slowly, glancing up once or twice to see the slightly frustrated look cross his features. You smiled to yourself as you continued but the smile soon fell from your lips as you finally saw what Jongho had been hiding.

You felt your eyes widen as the smile dropped, your lips now open in awe. You knew he was going to be big but...fuck. Jongho wasn't just long, he was wide, too.

"Y/N?" His deep voice pulled you from your thoughts.

"Oh...uh...yeah?"

"You like what you're seeing?" He asked, looking more than a little smug.

"Yeah...but..."

"But what?" He teased.

"I just didn't expect you to be quite this...big."

Jongho giggled at your flustered expression. "You worried you're not gonna be able to take it all?" He said cockily.

"Oh no, I'm having it all." Your awe had faded and now you were getting excited again; you were desperate to see how he felt inside you.

Jongho groaned at your words and shimmied his jeans and boxers down past his hips while you took his length in your hand and slowly started to stroke up and down. He watched your hand moving as you gazed at him, not breaking eye contact as you lowered your head and gave his most sensitive spot a little lick. He groaned as you enveloped the head of his cock with your mouth, having to open wide to get it all in, then closed his eyes and threw his head back as you started to bob up and down.

His hands found their way to the back of your head - not pushing, just holding on as your head moved, intertwining his fingers with your hair. You could feel when he was getting more excited because his hand in your hair started to hold tighter, although it seemed like he was holding back slightly, trying not to hurt you.

You pulled off his dick, turning your attention to that most sensitive spot on the underside just under the head, flicking your tongue over it again and again. His hand in your hair shook slightly and he couldn't help but grab even tighter - you smiled and looked up at him teasingly. He almost growled but, surprisingly, pulled you off him completely. You didn't have time for your surprise to turn to worry, though, as he quickly said,

"If you carry on like that I'm gonna cum."

"That was sort of the point." You retorted playfully.

"I don't want to cum in your mouth just yet. Besides, tonight is for me to make you feel good and...show you how much I love you."

You heard the words but they didn't register fully as you were too busy worrying about him.

"But I want you to feel good, as well."

"Oh, I will," He replied confidently, "but I want to fuck you now and make you cum some more."

A shiver ran down your spine at his commanding tone. How could you refuse that kind of offer?

Jongho gently pushed you down so you were laying on your back, looking up at him in anticipation, the excitement was building inside you again. His strong hands spread your legs then placed himself in between them; he was looking at your pussy hungrily as it clenched around nothing but desperately wanting something to fill it. He leant forward and held himself over you with one hand while, with the other, he lightly started to stroke your wet folds with his fingertips. A shaky sigh left your lips and you closed your eyes, a little frustrated as your boyfriend seemed to be a master at teasing. You couldn't decide if you loved it or hated it because it drew the moment out and you knew it would feel a hundred times better once he finally entered you but god did you want his cock right now.

You opened your eyes again to see Jongho smirking down at you while he continued to stroke your folds - he was clearly loving the effect he had on you. You looked up at him with pleading eyes and he giggled but gave in to your unspoken request by sliding two fingers into your aching hole and curling them upwards to press on your sweet spot. You moaned loudly from the sudden relief - you were right...the teasing made it all the more rewarding now that he was touching you.

Your dark blonde boyfriend lowered his lips to yours and kissed you passionately, his tongue dancing with yours as you let him dominate the kiss. He pulled back slightly and sucked your bottom lip before gently nibbling it then pulling away completely. You chased after his lips, not wanting it to end so he gave in and kissed you some more, still sliding his fingers in and out of your wet hole.  

When he pulled away again you let him because you knew there was much better to come and you wanted more than just his fingers inside you. Jongho knelt between your legs and replaced his fingers with his achingly hard member, sliding it up and down between your folds and collecting your juices to lubricate himself before lining up with your heated core. As he pushed his length inside you, you both groaned in unison. You could feel him going deeper and stretching your walls out as they hugged his cock tightly - you'd never been with anyone that big before and it felt exquisite.

"Shit, you're so tight." Jongho growled as he bottomed out in you.

"Maybe you're just - aah! - too big." You said playfully as he found your sweet spot again.

Now that he'd found the right spot, Jongho continued to thrust, hitting it every time. It was overwhelming and you could feel the tension building in you causing you to keep clenching around his cock even tighter. As he picked up his pace even more, Jongho grabbed your hips so he could fuck into you harder. He was gripping you so tight you imagined the bruises that would be there in the morning and it caused your orgasm to approach even faster - you'd always had a bit of a kink for being manhandled.

Soon enough the high crashed over you and you cried out wantonly while Jongho did his best to keep going but your walls were holding him so tight now he could barely move.

"Fuck, Y/N, you feel so good around my cock."

As your high ebbed away and you relaxed a little, Jongho began to fuck you again. Now your pussy was hyper sensitive you could feel every ridge and vein as he thrusted in and out and the lewd squelching noises of him fucking your own cum back into you. His harsh movements were causing your breasts to bounce and you had a tiny moment of embarrassment. You moved your arms to cover yourself again but instantly Jongho's strong hands grabbed your wrists and pinned them on either side of your head.

"I told you I wanna see you while I fuck you. Your tits look so beautiful bouncing as I slam my cock into you."

As if to confirm how much he liked it he bent his head down and took one of your hardened nipples into his mouth and sucked hard. It felt so good you forgot all about being embarrassed and Jongho pinning you down while he fucked you was a bigger turn-on than you'd imagined. You hadn't told him but you loved how strong he was.

You could feel he was getting close to cumming by the way his hips began to stutter and his dick twitching inside you. You knew what you wanted but weren't sure if he wanted the same.

In a small voice you whispered, "Will you cum inside me?"

"God...I've been waiting so long for this. It was torture not being able to fuck you."

You took that as a yes.

Jongho's grunt increased as he neared and with a few more sloppy thrusts he came inside you, covering your tight walls in his creamy, white release.

He stayed inside you for a while, just getting his breath back. You gazed up at him wondering how he could be even hotter now that his hair was slightly sticking to his forehead with sweat.

Your boyfriend slowly pulled out of you and laid down beside you, drawing you into a hug and gently stroking your hair. It was quiet for a few minutes while you just enjoyed the sensation of being naked in his arms with nothing between you. Something was also playing on your mind, now that you remembered the words he spoke earlier but that you'd been to distracted to register at the time. After some time thinking you decided to just ask him.

"Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" He asked, bending his head down to kiss your hair.

"You said you wanted to show me how much you love me." Your voice was almost a whisper as the fear of being wrong gripped you but without a second's hesitation he replied,

"Of course I did. I love you. I know I haven't said it before tonight but it seemed like a good time to tell you."

You looked up at him, gazing back down at you with the most sincerity you'd ever seen in his beautiful, dark eyes.

"I love you, too, Jongho. I think I have done for months now."

"You are the most beautiful person in the world to me - inside and out. Don't ever forget that."

"How did I get so lucky to have you?"

"I am perfect, aren't I?" He joked. You rolled your eyes and playfully swatted at him.

"If you want to," he said, more serious now, "you can have me forever."

"Deal." You replied, snuggling back into his strong embrace.