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aeempress · 3 years

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Apritello Express Evidences, part 2

Khem-khem, ladies and gentlemen, we shall continue out praising Apritello's episodes. And yeah, this part will be dedicated, in entirety just one episode.

Purple jacket. April and Donnie's episode.

I really love this piece of masterpiece, because it show April and Dee relationship, better reveals them as characters, and demonstrates their connection. (My previous points at this whole situation)

The episode begins with Donnie sneaking into April's school under the pretext of helping her. Soon, April stated the reason why she called D - her science computer project. Actually, she could take a photo of the code and sent it to Donatello, and I'm sure, he would send her the correct one right away, he's coder, he's prodigy, no probbles.

But still, April just asked him to come over and help her without stating any reasons. And he, indeed, came at speed of the light.

I want you to understand what exactly does that mean.

First: April is aware how much Donnie is into human culture. He wants to study in normal human school, do some average teen stuff. Especially, he is loving school and science-related stuff, all these science school projects, visits to botanical gardens, experiments and laboratory work. Because it's his field. It's exactly his domain, where he's good at. His family does not share his interest in science, and April is only one who can understand him. Probably.

Also, April know, how badly Donnie wants to go to school, which gives him an excuse, even if not the most solid one, but an excuse, nevertheless, to visit her school again.

Why again?

Because he has no problem navigating there. Donnie went directly to April's computer class.

He loves this place. And he'd already helped April with her projects.

Even so, knowing that every time she asked guys, especially Don, for help, it turned into a cataclysm, April still called him to help.

It's just a weird, indirect way to say, " Let's hang out, I know how much you like this whole situation with science, school and etc. Here ya go, buddy"

It seems like April did that to make something pleasant to him, something small, but nice to make him feel better. Because, as I state before - he likes to help April (praise, doing something useful for April - still counts as a motivation) and he likes school.

Second: khem-khem, D came at her school, as it seems, right away she called/texted. He didn't even know the proper reason, but c'mon: April ask for help, plus, her school. Sounds legit, don't you think?

Anyway, April has always been being the reason and excuse for teetles, but especially for Donnie. Clear? Clear. Good.

Donnie also tends to not think things through when he is excited. Because he went at the daylight in place, full of people just to help April.

ROTTMNT shows us how turtles were really afraid of human reaction and possible consequences. They have plan "H" to pretend they are going to Galaxy Con, brothers have explanation why they look weird and it's definitely not because boys are mutants, uh-huh, no, plus, guys go on surface at evening or night hours, when there are not so many people, and it's dark, obviously, to cover them and keep unseen.

Yeah, of course, Donnie seems more capable then his brothers to handle the surface (he has cash, D's dressed up as old ladies more than once, according to Leo, he was in April's school before, so yeah, no big deal) and I suspect that his friendship with April is one of the reasons.

Third: do you remember how April worried about looking "normal" when she was finally invited to a school party? She even forbade Mayham to appear nearby, just not to look like the lizard boy. Because cool kids don't bring pets to school. April doesn't have many friends, or rather, there are none at school, and she's been trying to solve this problem by getting close to Taylor Martin, the coolest girl in school.

And April O'Neil just calls Donatello, an objectively strange guy (since when is it normal to be a fan of school? Pretty questionable) in place, where her reputation is hanging in a balance. Our girl does not try to hide Dee, as it usually shown in shows for kids, and April do not pretend that she sees him for the first time in her life because, you know, Donnie will catch everyone's attention being himself and may embarrass her in front of her classmates. But no - April says with all her actions: "Yes, I know him. Yes, that dork is with me. And I don't give a damn about your opinion. Your problems, not mine. And yeah, I'm fine with him being here."

I mean it, guys. The devil is always in the tiny details.

The way they behave around each other.

Donatello is way more, MORE relaxed and just being himself: dramatic dorky nerdy ninja with current obsessions. The way he sneaked in school and April's classroom, the way he behaves alone with her is contrasting the way of his attitude while his brothers are near.

Don has a specific way to shown up. Instead of texting her, Donnie used shurekens. Yes, he almost fell off the lamp, but still, that's... quite an entrance he makes there.

April worries about him, when he fell from ceiling.

Our girl feel relaxed enough around Donnie, so she winks at him.

A wink is a fairly casual gesture that shows some expression of sympathy, trust, and togetherness. It's both good for saying "We're in same boat, we're team" and show the playful attitude towards someone. Isn't that an indicator?

Ironically, that being the best friends April and Donnie do not have any secret handshake/brofist/special greeting, as it usually the besties have at kid's series. Like Kendra and Jeremy have.

I can do only one possible logical conclusion: their relationship is far beyond "friends," "best friends," and "family".

Btw, about this certain phrase about secret five.

- Nay, fair April. A secret five[...].

Once again, nice wording, Donatello. Fair April? Maybe I'm too critical, but often when someone wants to convince their interlocutor and at the same time show one's condescension to them, it's usually uses "my dear ..." or something like that. I understand that semantically the difference is not very big, but in the first case, you can feel Donnie's personal attitude, even though he uses a book word. The second is just formal politeness, which emphasizes the difference between the rightness of the disputants.

This phrase were interpreted on official Russian dub as (okay, it's really hard to choose the correct word, because there's a lot of synonyms in English that sits quite well, while on Russian it's just one word, damn) "Нет, милая (No, honey/sweetheart )". Actually, a strange choice of wording, 'cause this is not what usually friends use to say to each other. We prefer use words like " my darling", "my dear", to demonstrate leniency. And again, most often this prerogative belongs to the older generation. Russians rarely throw around such words as "honey", "dear", "sunshine", because this deprives these endearments of any meaning, and a person using them, as a rule, is familiar. Of course, there are people who use them on a regular basis, but I HIGHLY doubt that Donatello is one of them. It's not his style.

But still, maybe I just too critical at this point.

April, as it is shown, have some kind of power to cool and calm him down and bring Donnie back to life reality.

1. Don awakes from his daze while heard April's voice

2. He's literally coming back to life, when April said about his broken jetpack.

3. Dee obediently interrupts his touching farewell to the jacket when April yells at him.

Oh, and his face. I remind you, fellas, we're talking about Donatello, "I really do not like to express emotions"-guy and "I will die if someone broke my bAbEyS"-guy.

And what do we see? Donnie's emoting. And feels free to do that. He's even drooling. (What seems kinda interesting without context, if you're understand what I'm talking about ;))

Dee doesn't seem angry about broken jetpack. And his wide smile, while he's assuring April he can fix it? A few minutes ago, he was steamed when his stuff was stolen, but when the jetpack was broken, he doesn't even raise an eyebrow. Very eloquent.

April is his support

April also supports Donnie whatever he's up to. Yes, she hadn't been excited when Othello had expressed a desire to join the club. However, she also introduced him to Kendra and company. Yes, she showed by her whole appearance that she did not share his joy, but nevertheless, our loyal captain O'Neil was there for him, by his side all this time.

And her sweet facial expression. From "Srsly? Join this jerks?" to "If you dare to even think about to hurt him, I'll smash you".

And one more cute detail about Dee. Even if he does whatever he wanted so badly, Don constantly looks around at April, looking for her approval.

- Be honest, April, do I look fantastic, or SUPERBLY fantastic?

- You look like you drop a juice box in a laundry. (Play nice, April, don't be mean)

He cherishes her opinion.

April had even called him late at night just to, technically speaking, say that his tech were stolen. And what's the big deal with all his outfit? It's late night, they can just sneak out into Nakamura in their usual form. But noooo, April give a special ride on her bicycle. Just. You know. Our girl carried her own weight and his all the way without stopping. And then she went up 53 + floors running non-stop because Donnie's equipment was stolen. And then she had to chase the her classmates, dodge and jump out of the window. Because Purple dragons stole Dee's tech. Like shooting fish in a barrel, no big deal at all.

And it's definitely not because he will be totally crashed or he'll do stupid things during his anger, which will then come out sideways.

And April comes along with him to very end.

By the way, their phone conversations.

Donnie is the very case when "Call at any time of the day or night and I will pick up the phone".

When April called him when he needs D's help with Albearto, when something is definitely going on behind.

As it says in transcript of the episode:

[April takes out her phone, scrolls to Donnie’s listing and calls him. Donatello appears on screen. Behind him a flying microwave wearing boxing gloves shoots lasers at his brothers.]

Don: "You are conversing with Donatello."

April

[Crouched on floor in hiding.]

Dude, I need your help."

Don: "For you, anything. As long as it does not involve bees, or spiders, or beach balls.

[There’s an explosion behind him and his brothers cry out, which he ignores.]

And yeah, he took her incoming immediately, he ignores absolutely and totally everything around him, because... April? Expositions, bloody flying microwave bot turned to destroy mode, his brothers screaming and being in life-threatening situation? Naaah, it can wait.

Donatello was at Todd's, building "the puppiest place on Earth" and was very enthusiastic about to finish this thing. But he paused anyway to answer April.

We already know how obsessive with work Don can be: if something interesting gets into his field of view, he begins to do it all day long. Remember "The Purple Game" - a very revealing case. Yeah, we weren't shown how much Donnie is into engineering, but I can guess that point remains the same.

April called him at late night and Donnie picked up the phone.

April, unlike Donatello, is a teenager who is burdened with social relationship such as family, school, and work periodically, which implies a more or less strict schedule to follow and some conventions, such as " April, you can't go out late at night to catch robbers, you are underage and you have to go to school/work tomorrow). However, she was watching the news late at night, so she called Dee. ( I have a lot of questions, but I'll never get answers, as it seems)

D, in turn, doesn't have so many contacts with the outside world. I highly doubt that anyone else outside of the family and April has his number. And yet, when he hears the call late at night he takes it. Yes, he had awaken from the nightmare, but still.

And what's up with his usual "You're conversing with Donatello"? He didn't even understand what's going on, as it seems, he's too sleepy to play his usual image and playfully attitude as we could see in "Hypno Part Deux" and "War and Pizza".

Adorable couple-like D&A arguing

April very rarely uses "I told you so" against anybody, or rather, this is almost the only case. This phrase is more suitable for Leo or Donnie, and you know," I told you so! " we usually use on people we know well, and we want to tease 'em about them being wrong. Which, in fact, once again highlights and proves how close D&A are. And I don't even get started about the fact that this is more like a couple's quarrel, not a friend's.

And one more time - in the end, when April suggests using the jacket to stop Kendra.

Their teamwork

I stated that before, I'll tell it one more and more times. The chemistry of their team interaction is incredible. It's as if they can feel each other, and each knows what the other is capable of doing in the next moment. April easily adapts to Donnie's attack, realizing his plan.

Donnie also throws them both out of the window in order to continue the pursuiting Kendra on the jetpack. Don is one hundred percent sure of April, that she will understand what he wants to do, Dee trusts her with his life without hesitation, and she has never used his jetpack. He just puts her before the fact: April will be using the tech.

Up for Donnie!

I really like how this scene was made. Donatello struggles with his own tech, somewhat he made by himself, having invested almost whole himself and his soul, but what "betrayed" him in end. When Dee finally managed to shake one of his battleshell, which almost choked him, Donnie feel so scared and unsecured. We can see his anxiety - Dee's coaching position with covering his head with his hands and tucking his knees.

Defenseless, helpless, and mostly lost, and then, just in time - hero comes to save his life. She uses Donnie's name as battlecry, look how furious she is.

Funny fact: on Russian dub April yells "Don't touch Donnie! (how dare you, madafaka)

April fits in Donnie's type of girls. She's cute (obvious) and mean (not so obvious).

I can't say that meanness is the main feature of April's character, as we can say about Kendra. But this personality trait is still present in her and sometimes it does not manifest itself so widely. April's meanness is not so pronounced, it is much softer and smoother, and it is not exposed.

But April becomes really mean when someone messes up with Donnie.

She's his support and prop. Literally. Just look at first frame, okay-okay, jokes aside

She's genuinely enjoying of kicking bad guys ' asses, even letting go of witticisms and barbs.

Last scenes

Don survived a rough night: he was used, his tech was stolen, so he and April had to chase the satin robed punks. Donnie was hit in the head with a hammer, he fell from a bird's-eye view, passed out and then his battleshell tried to strangle him. And April is here to comfort him, to cheer him up.

Yes, we don't get any hugs (because it's kids show, bleh), the tactility is kept to a minimum, except for April's comforting hand on his shoulder, but they don't even look at each other. But the softness of her voice, the intonation with which she utters a phrase (that is usually sent to the friend zone, but "pal" is really neutral word, and the most important how she said that) turn the scene upside down. It is not what April did to comfort him matter, it's how she did this.

I said "yes" to you way too often

April mirrors Donnie with his "Anything for you". Yes, of course, she said this with a certain amount of grumbling, but her voice and her demeanor suggest otherwise - she is not at all averse to going to giving in him.

And the way they're look at each other.

This one

And one more detail

It's really tiny, it's hard to catch from the first watching the episode, but still, it's possible. I'm talking about graffiti on the walls of the alley where April and Don had landed.

This one

Yeah, if we speak about reality it's quite normal to see graffiti like this. But we talking about TV-series, where everything has its own place and meaning. And if there something, it must be there, it's not just whim of artist who put it in there. But this little graffiti changes the mood of scene.

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jinmukangwrites · 3 years

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succumb (1/?)

Note: "?" because I don't know if I'm actually going to continue this. All I know is that I saw this post from Liccy and couldn't stop thinking about it (hopefully you don't mind me leeching a little off of your fantastic hc). I just had to write something or else I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it. Unless I decide to make more of this, I'll keep this just in Tumblr for now.

Summary: While collecting firewood after a harsh day of traveling, Wild and Hyrule find themselves ambushed and alone, facing a mysterious enemy that wants Hyrule for something Wild doesn't understand... or more specifically: they want Hyrule's blood.

Tws and warnings in tags

-o-o-o-o-

It’s a night filled with the chill of air fresh after rain. The damp grass and twigs lining the ground below the still dripping trees squish below Wild’s boots as he walks, his eyes sharp for anything that could be useful.

Today’s been a rather taxing day on his energy, and he can tell it’s been the same with the others. The constant rain has caused the paths to become slick with mud and the rivers too dangerous to cross. To top it all off, they don’t even know who’s world they are in; making it so that as they journey they don’t even know where they are going.

Wild hates the rain.

But luckily, he’s not assigned with the behemoth task of finding dry firewood alone. Hyrule walks beside him, his pants and tunic blotched with dark colors thanks to the puddle he had fallen into a few minutes before.

The quite literal stumbles here and there put aside… they’ve actually done a decent job at gathering firewood so far. A few hours into their search they both have arms cradling rather hefty loads of dry twigs and branches found in miracle spots hiding under rocks and undergrowth, untouched from the rain.

A cold win stirs, causing Wild to suppress a shiver as he straightens out of picking up another stick to add to his impressive collection. He probably should have worn a warmer tunic while heading out, but Wind was looking miserable in the cold and didn’t look used to this kind of chill, so he had lent his snowquill tunic and didn’t have the heart to take it back as the poor kid sat sniffling in the driest part of camp.

Wild mentally begins to make a list of things he has that could go in a warming soup once they have a fire going. If none of them have colds tomorrow morning, he will eat Legend’s hat.

“We should head back,” Wild calls towards his companion. Behind him, Hyrule straightens up from where he was quite hilariously resembling an old man squatting down to pick up a book they have dropped. His arms are overloaded with wood, and Wild’s sure if he bends any lower he would be struggling to pick up the sticks he will undoubtedly start dropping.

“You think we have enough?” Hyrule asks.

Wild hums and looks at the two armfuls they have gathered. They need enough to last them for dinner and through the night, and a little extra if the fire happens to go out from unpredictable rain storms through the night. It’s not like Wild’s scars would be able to help him tell the oncoming storms; they’ve been none-stop aching since they found themselves in this unfamiliar forest.

After a moment of sizing up their bundles, Wild nods. “Yeah, if we’re smart with it we shouldn’t have to worry.”

Hyrule snorts. “Smart with it? Tell that to the blacksmith. He’s the one that tried to light Vet’s hair on fire.”

“In his defense, Vet kinda deserved it.”

“He accidentally caught Wolfie’s tail on fire.”

Wild snorts. “To be fair, he kinda deserved it too.”

Hyrule gives an unimpressed look to which Wild responds with a grin and as much of a shrug he can manage without dropping anything. The wind brushes past them and through the leaves in the trees, reminding them both that the night is approaching and banter can perhaps wait until they’re warm at a fire.

“C’mon,” Wild says, “we should get going.”

Hyrule’s face splits into a grin and rushes to catch up with Wild as he begins to walk back towards the direction of camp. The sound of mud squelching beneath their boots accompanies his thoughts as they go. He hopes they’ve set up the pots and pans he needs to make dinner like he asked them to. He’d like to get something warm in his belly as soon as possible and it would be so much quicker if the others realized they could maybe help make dinner sometimes.

He’s in the middle of planning out his next moves once they’re back with the others when it happens. It’s achingly familiar too—the way the air seems to turn foul and the shadows of the trees grow within the blink of an eye. Through his travels alone… before he fought and defeated Calamity Ganon… things were hardly ever perfectly okay. Safety was always rare, and things could go sour quicker than what you would expect. Wild quickly trained himself to always be aware of the dangers around him, even if everything seemed happy and safe. It saved his back more times than what he could admit, even if the pressure of anxiety pressing down on his ribs was more constant than a place for him to spend the night.

He could sense everything about to go wrong a moment before it does. He’s not sure what’s made him aware of the change—whether it’s the quieting of crows or the darkening sky—but one thing is for sure, this time he’s not quick enough to stop it.

He sees Hyrule twitch besides him and drop all of the firewood in his arms right into the mud. His hands fly to his neck as Wild drops his load and pulls out his sword. He hears a zip and catches the flash of light just in time to jump out of the way of a flying arrow.

Immediately, Wild is in battle mode. With practiced movements that he doesn’t even think about anymore, his shield is off of his back and on his non-dominant hand just-in-the-nick-of-time to block two more arrows with an equal number of thunks. With rising adrenaline, Wild looks over at Hyrule and what he sees makes his stomach twist. There, just a few strides out of arm's reach, Hyrule stumbles and tugs his hands away from his neck; grasped in his fingers is a small, thin twig with a feather on one end and a metal glint on the other. It isn’t hard to guess what’s exactly going on as Hyrule stumbles again with fluttering eyelids.

This isn’t any old attack from monsters in the forest, Wild concludes as he begins to rush towards his poisoned friend.

This is an ambush.

Just before Wild can reach Hyrule, a form jumps down from the trees between them. Wild has a split-second to recognize the glint of misshapen armor bent to fit a large reptile's body before the Lizalfols is swinging a sharp boomerang right for his throat. Wild steps back and raises his shield before he could be hit, however he has to work hard to suppress a frustrated snarl as he’s forced to widen the distance between himself and the barely standing Hyrule. He can see the other hero struggling to pull out his sword as more figures emerge from the surrounding trees.

“Alright, ugly,” Wild hisses under his breath as he shoves his shield out with calculated power. He needs to finish this quickly before Hyrule gets himself more hurt so he can figure out what poison was used and if the others are okay.

The Lizalfos screeches and stumbles back, waving its weapon wildly. Wild takes its struggle to regain balance as an opportunity to rush forward and swing his sword right for the weak spots of its armor. The monster screams impossibly high with unhuman chords before falling limp on his sword, however Wild doesn’t have time to celebrate before claws dig into his shoulders. Stifling a cry of pain, Wild is forced to let go of his lodged sword to catch his fall on his hands and knees. The well-known shriek of a bokoblin reaches his ears as he throws his weight to the side to dislodge the thing. Luckily, he’s successful, ending up on his back with the perfect position to swing his shield at the exact right moment to hit the bokoblin right in the snout as it tries to jump at him again.

“Champ!” calls a shaky voice. Hyrule.

He doesn’t sound too good.

And judging how there are several more monsters here than what he remembered before ending up on the ground… neither of them will be too good soon if he doesn’t act.

He scrambles to his feet, barely noticing how soaked in rain and mud he is now, and grabs a stick on his way up that he had previously dropped. He swings it like a bat at the next closest bokoblin—mourning his sword and mentally kicking himself for getting it stuck in the corpse of a fucking lizard—but he only manages to slightly stun it for a moment before its running after him with pig-like gurgles quicker than what he can properly lift his shield. However, before the creature can hit him, there's the flash of a friendly blade, cutting the beast down mid-air. Before him stands Hyrule, looking very pale with beads of sweat trailing down from his hairline. Wild’s about to nod his thanks, but two things happen at once that makes everything go completely downhill.

Wild sees Hyrule’s eyes roll up to his skull right before the air is knocked out of him via a viscous swing of a tail to his ankles, resulting in him landing heavily on his back.

Monsters all around him squeal with glee as Wild attempts to catch his breath and struggle to his feet. However, before he can do so, the heavy body of the lizalfos responsible for taking him down lands on his back, expelling any of the air Wild had left in his lungs. For a horrifying second, Wild’s almost afraid his head is about to be removed from his body with the flash of a sharp boomerang.

Shockingly enough, that doesn’t happen. While he feels the blade slide right against his jaw, his skin does not break. With the tug of a clawed hand in his hair, he quickly finds this isn’t a kind of ambush that he’s used to. Most surprise monster attacks stay exactly as it appears to be: an all-out attack with no more intentions than to stab things and scream loudly.

This one however is proving itself to be a little different. They want something, something that they’d keep Wild pinned on the ground with a blade to his throat alive.

Thanks to the hand holding his head up by his hair—sending a rather vicious kink into his neck as he’s still stuck on his stomach—Wild can see Hyrule completely collapsed on the ground with a few monsters hovering over him with excited snorts and grunt.

He can’t believe the two of them have been bested by monsters as low in skill as these.

Something more has to be going on.

And, just as that thought crosses his mind, there’s the sound of booted feet approaching on the soggy ground. The new presence comes behind from where Wild is pinned, so he cannot see them. However, based on the even steps and the whoosh of cloth, he can at least infer that they’re not a monster… or at least something a bit more humanoid.

His suspicions are confirmed once the figure steps into view. They look the build of a Hylian; though below the cloak that covers their face and exposes nothing but the shadow of a pointed chin… they must be a rather tall Hylian.

Which definitely isn’t good. Monsters are one thing—creatures born out of hatred and greed—but a Hylian who’s born as pure as any other human and animal in the world choosing to work with monsters? Deal with wickedness? They’re always the bigger threat. If the Yiga clan alone isn’t proof enough that Hylia’s creations can inhibit more darkness than the lowest of beasts, then Wild would ask what shrine you've been sleeping in.

Not like he could ask that now, not as the cloaked figure steps right past Wild without sparing a single glance. Wild cannot help but feel his stomach twist in fear as the person kneels down by the unmoving and unarmed Hyrule. They place a pale hand on Hyrule’s forehead, making Wild’s skin crawl.

“Get away from him!” Wild snarls, digging his fingers into the mud and attempting to push the heavy lizalfos off from him, but all that does is cause the creature to hiss and tighten the blade.

The cloaked intruder doesn’t respond nor quit in their endeavors of getting too close to Hyrule for Wild’s comfort. In fact, Wild almost thinks they didn’t even hear him.

He’s about to shout out once again—angry with being ignored—but the breath leaving his lungs fall silent as the figure brushes back Hyrule’s hair with a verbal sigh. Then, to Wild’s horror, the figure pulls back to their cloak to bring out a small vial filled with a deep purple liquid.

“What is that?” Wild demands as the lid of the vial is popped off and lowered towards Hyrule’s pale lips. “Don’t you fucking dare-” suddenly the air is squeezed from his body, forcing his protests to cease, as the lizalfos leans more of it’s weight onto his back to press his face down into the mud.

He doesn’t see what happens next, but he can put two and two together when a few silent moments pass before those human footsteps begin to finally head Wild’s way. The clawed hand in his hair loosens ever so slightly as slim fingers slip under his chin. Next thing Wild knows, he’s blinking through dripping eyelashes at the shadowed face of the cloaked figure.

Wild, of course, takes the opportunity to spit a wad of mud at the face of his enemy thanks to his little face-meets-dirt session.

He’s pretty sure he hits his mark, because in a blink of an eye Wild is no longer pinned on the ground, but lifted into the air by his neck. His feet scramble for purchase when there is none as his hands fly to his throat. The pressure on his neck is so intense that he doesn’t think to try and look at the face of his attacker. He can only gulp for trapped air like a fish out of water. Then, just like that, the pressure on his throat is released as he finds himself thrown back into the waiting arms of various monsters. Before Wild can attempt to find his bearings, his wrists are twisted violently behind his back; the motion almost yanks his limbs from their sockets. After a few gasps, it's all Wild can do to stand there with their physical restraints of clawed hands and send a cold glare at the cloaked figure.

The cloaked figure radiates irritation from where they stand, but Wild spares only a moment to bare his teeth at them before glancing back to where he'd last seen Hyrule.

He can’t see Hyrule’s face, but he’s no longer laying prone on the floor. He’s currently sat up with his chin limply touching his chest as a pair of monsters work together to bind his wrists behind his back.

Knowing that villains don’t usually restrain corpses, Wild concludes that Hyrule is still alive and returns his anger at the cloaked figure.

Wild takes a deep breath and speaks through hissing teeth, “who are you?”

“I would watch your tongue, hero,” the figure says, their voice not distinct enough to be dubbed male or female. However, Wild can practically feel the annoyance in their tone traveling down his spine. “We don’t need both of you, and your small friend is not the expendable one.”

The words settle in Wild’s gut like moss covered stones. This really isn’t any normal attack or ambush… this was a targeted mission.

Hyrule is the target.

“What do you want with him?”

The figure chuckles, their shoulders bounce in such an undeniably human way that it makes Wild feel sick to his core. “It never fails to amuse me that none of you seem to truly understand just how much more powerful and important this one is compared to the rest of you.” The cloaked figure walks towards Wild with arms spread wide. “His blood alone is more powerful than any form of magic known to any sorcerer.”

“What are you talking about?” Wild spits, forcing his face to remain cold and angry despite the pool of confusion and fear that’s beginning to swell around those moss stones in his gut.

The figure hums and tilts their covered head. After another moment, they speak with an amused tone, walking slowly towards Wild. “That slate on your belt... you’re the hero from the far future, oh how convenient. Tell me, have you ever wondered why the monsters come back to life?”

Wild doesn’t get a chance to answer before the figure stops right in front of him. He hates that even though he cannot see their face, he can practically taste the smug victory radiating off from them.

“Don’t you wonder why the moon shines red with blood?”

Wild swallows. “What does that have to do with anything?” He looks over where Hyrule is placed. “What does that have to do with him?”

The figure chuckles and leans forward close enough that Wild can almost see an outline of a pointed nose. “Everything.”

Then, with a flick of their hand, something hard smacks against the back of Wild’s skull. The world spins and pain shoots through his head and into every speck of his body. He blinks, and suddenly he’s leaning bonelessly into the grasps of the monsters behind him, the corners of his vision going black.

The last thing he sees is the figure turning back towards Hyrule with a flick of their cloak.

Then, his eyes fall shut and he knows no more.

#linked universe #hero of the wild #hero of hyrule #blood tw #violence tw #kidnapping tw #poisoning tw #fanfiction #jin writes #let me know if i missed any tags <3

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certifiedskywalker · 4 years

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Fett’s Foundling - Din Djarin

thewhitedannimal said: Hi! Could I request a mando x reader where the reader is also a skilled and famous mandalorian? They decide to work together and after sometime, the reader is impressed by mando and starts developing a noticeable crush on him, but mando thinks it’s cute and expresses his feelings? Tysm if u do, I love ur work!

AN: I kinda changed this up a bit. I hope you like it though! I think it turned out pretty well!

WARNING: SEASON 2 SPOILERS!!! and mentions of terrorism (Star Wars terrorism but still)

“You’re sure about this?”

Boba’s dark eyes were cold and searching as he held your gaze. The lines of his face, including those carved into his skin by the Snarlacc’s digestive acid, were creased as he tried to read you. You imagined you looked about the same as him, but less scarred. Brow furrowed, lips thin, and expression stern. You were, after all, Fett’s foundling.

“Are you sure about this? After all, we’ve been through a lot together. You might find that you miss me, go all soft on me, old man.”

At your teasing, the coldness in Boba’s tense features melted away. His mouth quirked upwards in one of his rare, closed-lipped smiles. The smile was a welcomed change of pace; the only hint of joy to be found on Moff Gideon’s freshly captured, Imperial light cruiser. Out of the corner of your eye you caught Bo-Katan looking grim, head ducked down in conservation with her subordinate. She had been whispering since the Jedi left, eyes darting around the bridge in search of the Darksaber.

You glanced around too, but found that the ancient relic was nowhere to be found. Neither was Din Djarin.

“And you say I’m going soft,” Boba scoffed, pulling your attention back to him. “You’re tied to him like a Kowakian monkey-lizard to a Hutt. Pathetic joke of a creature.”

“You would be the only one to think that,” you countered, “and the first to know that you’re wrong.” It wasn’t a threat. It was the truth.

Boba had found you as a child who, much like himself, was stranded on Tatooine, doomed to the wastes baked by the twin suns. Both of you had been lost, outsiders to an outside world. Then Boba found his way back to the way of the Mandalore and brought you with him. He taught you to be a warrior and the two of you took odd jobs for odd people.

All the while, Boba searched for his armor and, with his help and scraps of lost battle gear, you had begun to forge your own. Eventually, you forged a name for yourself. So, it surprised him when you had, many cycles past, asked Boba if you could use his: Fett. It had stuck and you had stuck together, through it all. Though now…

“Not pathetic,” Boba finally conceded, “but you’re tied to him. Any being can see it.”

Warmth spread through your body and over your skin like a blaster bolt singe. Tightness gathered in your jaw, forced your teeth together like a vice. To ebb the sting promised by further embarrassment, you tore your eyes from Boba’s, unwilling to let him see deeper in your heart and mind. He knew you too well and you knew him too well. The two of you knew what the other was after and how those paths no longer lined up together.

“You don’t have to ask for my permission to leave.” At his words, you lifted your gaze back to Boba’s. “All I ask is that you give your allegiance to no one-”

You roll your eyes at his words. “I know my value, my ideals. I’d never compromise either.”

Boba shook his head and leaned closer to you. Between you, he extended his hand. Your eyes glanced from his empty, open hand to his face a few times before he finally spoke up.

“-unless they prove to you that your life is more important than their own.”

“I don’t…”

Shock. You remembered the feeling from your first gunfight. All those cycles ago, when you were lost on Tatooine. It had been so long since something had truly rattled you. For it to be Boba’s words, the man who taught you to push shock and fear off to the wayside, you were left all the more shaken.

“From what I’ve seen, that Mandalorian is as honorable as an ex-bounty hunter can be.”

Boba gives you another closed-lipped smile. In your silence, you glance down at his hand again. You see him move it towards you, like an offering. Without another moment's hesitation, you move to rest your hand on his armored forearm. You feel his fingers on your own arm give a gentle squeeze before you meet his eyes again.

“You take care of yourself.”

Before you can return the sentiment, Boba pulls you in from your arm and into a tight embrace. Shock, again, freezes you, turns your limbs to carbonite for longer than you care to acknowledge. Boba’s embrace melts you free from it. You wrap your arms over his shoulders and hold to him as you did during that first gunfight.

“You too,” you whisper, your voice small enough to packed into a pulse rifle. You pull away before you let yourself melt away with the shock. “And tell me when you take Tatooine.”

“Of course,” Boba nods his head at you and glanced to his left. You follow his eyeline and see Fennec. Her lips quirk upwards when you meet her gaze.

“Watch the little duchess. She wants that laser sword.”

“I will.”

Fennec nods before she turns her attention to Boba. As if he never took it off, Boba’s helmet is already on. The dark visor focuses on you for one last moment before he starts off towards the bridge exit, Fennec on his heels. You watch the pair go for a moment, mentally tracking their path to the hangar where the Slave I rests in wait. At the thought of the old beast, your chest aches. The discomfort lingers only slightly as you turn your back on the only life you had known and to the darkness of space shown through the viewport.

“Fett, what a legacy.”

Your body tenses at the sound of Gideon’s low voice. When you turn your eyes over to where he is bound, you see dark eyes locked on you like a TIE target.

“To throw that all away for a dangerous sect of disenfranchised Mandalorians.”

“I am Mandalorian,” you said, starting towards him. Each step you take is with purpose, calculated to reach the total sum of Gideon’s fear. You see how his eyes widen slightly and feel a rush of satisfaction further dulls the ache of Boba leaving; of you staying. “And, the last time I watched the holonews, it seemed that the New Republic labeled your broken Empire as a terrorist sect, disenfranchised from power rather than freedom.”

Gideon shifted, his cape collecting more dust and wrinkles as it rested on the floor with him. He opened his mouth to speak but you quickly turned to Cara. She was smiling, watching Gideon flounder. When she raised her eyes to yours, she grinned.

“That may be the most I’ve ever heard a Mandalorian talk in one go. Mando is always so...quiet.”

“Speaking of,” you glanced back at Bo-Katan and saw her eyes on you. In the hopes she wouldn’t hear, you leaned closer to Cara. “Where is he?”

“He walked off the bridge when the Jedi left with the kid. He went down the hall and to the left.” You nodded at her in thanks and glanced down at a scowling Gideon.

“I think the bindings should be tighter,” you said before walking off in the same direction as Din. With every entrance of new hallway you walked past, you peered into each, searching for him. He had been rocked, set a kilter by the Jedi that had stormed in for a rescue.

He had lost the only family he had known, just as you had decided to let yours go. You could feel your own loneliness creeping up your spine and could only imagine that he felt the same doom sneaking after him. Despite being a hunter, you knew that you could not save him from that feeling, just as you could not entirely save yourself. Though, maybe, you could keep each other’s company and scare off the dark together.

The thought made you cringe. Boba was right: you were tied to Din. Pathetically stuck to him, nearly a stranger; but a stranger with skill. On Tython, you had seen him fight off a few Stormtroopers before running after the Child. He had bested a Darktrooper too, from what Cara had gotten Gideon to admit. He was a stranger with heart too.

A stranger willing to break his Creed, the oath he asked if you and Boba had taken, to say a true goodbye to the Child. In the moment, you didn’t catch a good look at his features. You saw only his head of dark brown hair and the curved tanned skin of his cheek. His looks don't matter to you though. You were already taken by him, from the moment he stood up to Boba on Tython, was ready to lie his life down for his Child.

You were so lost in the memory that you nearly overlooked the shine of his beskar in an abandoned meeting room. Silver casted in his armor, Din was starkly outlined against the blackness of space that shown outside the viewpoint. His helmet was still off, held tight in his left hand. The sight felt sacred, as if it were wrong for you to be looking at even the back of his exposed head.

“You can come in.” While he was only a few paces away from you, Din’s voice sounded far off. Slowly, you took a step inside before taking pause.

“Do you want me to walk in backwards?” Despite the seriousness in your tone, you hear a small, breathy chuckle from Din’s direction. “I’m just trying to be cautious.”

“It’s appreciated,” Din said and, much to your surprised, you watched as he turned his head. In the dark of the Imperial meeting room, it was hard to make out his features but you could feel him looking at you. “But not necessary. Not anymore, not right now.”

Defeat was plain and heavy in his voice. You were familiar with the weight of it, having heard it in your own after your first, and only, failed bounty. Slowly still, you started towards Din again. As you moved, you catch Din’s head turn back to face the stars. Closer now, you sneak a glimpse at the side of his face before settling at his side.

He was handsome, a word you thought you would never use before. Granted, on Tatooine, there weren’t many beings you felt adequately captured the essence of the word. Din, however, with his strong, curved nose and scruff-covered jaw fit the bounty. Not to mention the dark of his eyes that looked like empty space itself. Full of mystery, Din’s eyes were, and you were ready to dive right in.

Then Boba’s words echoed in your head. Any being can see it. At Din’s side, you forced your body still. Movement, nervousness that only Din could spark in you, could make your feelings all the more obvious. Now was not the time for that.

“You miss him already.”

“Yeah.” You snuck a glance at Din. His eyes were fixed on the view port, distant, like his voice. It was like he was trying to chase after the Child but was lost in space. You had no idea what to say to ease his search, his pain. Luckily, you didn’t have to.

A fast whoosh sounded out from the hangar below and distracted both you and Din from others presence. Roaring of a familiar engine reached your ears and, as quickly at you recognized it, the Slave I shot out of the light cruiser hold. Silently, like a swift and stalking hunter, the ship you were raised on rushed away. You watched it go until your lost the shape of it, saw it meld with the stars. It was then you felt the hairs on the back of your neck rise.

You looked over at Din and found that he was facing you now. Features once hidden under layers of beskar were now on full display. Din looked older than you imagined. There were strands of grey in his hair and patches in his scruff. Crows feet crinkles were gathered in the corners of his eyes; though it couldn’t be because he smiled so often, not with a life like his. Not with a life like yours, like all other Mandalorians.

“You didn’t go?” Concern, in his voice and in his brown eyes, warmed your chest. You could only nod in response. “Fett, what are you doing?”

“Making my own way, like all Foundlings must.” Unable to hold yourself back, you nudge softly Din with your elbow. “Like you are. What you did was brave, even if it broke your rules.”

“You inspired me,” Din said, his voice nestled closer now around you. You held his gaze with a quirked brow, entreating him to continue. “Remember what you said on Morak before Mayfield and I went in?”

“‘Don’t get killed’ wasn’t it?”

For the first time, you see Din smile. It’s not like Boba’s smile, the only other Mandalorian you had known. Din’s smile showed his teeth, even if it wasn’t for more than a second. Lines in his face grew more pronounced around his lips. You forced yourself to look away from his mouth and back out of the view port.

“No, I don’t remember.”

“You were talking to Boba. He said I wouldn’t break the Creed, even for the kid, if I had to. You said that I would, that my heart was in the fight.”

Want edged Din’s voice, powerful enough to get you to look up at him once more. His dark eyes were on you still and you don’t think they ever left. They dropped from your eyes to your lips and back again. As small as the shifting glance was, it was enough to tickle your stomach. You had to force yourself to stay still and quiet.

“You were right.”

“I am, most of the time, you’ll find,” you say breathlessly. It’s all you can manage.

“Is that why you’re sticking around?”

“What?” You lick your lips nervously and curse yourself for it.

“Because your heart is in this fight,” Din extends his hand as he speaks. In his open, gloved palm, the hilt of the Darksaber rested. You hadn’t truly even entertained the weapon, what it meant and stood for. Instead, your mind was clouded with Din, with want.

“In a sense.”

Din raised his brows at you. “That’s a Guild answer. A hunter answer. Give me yours.”

You already know it, you want to say but you held your tongue back. Silence, tense and unyielding, fell over the two of you. Din held your gaze, not backing down on his request. It had taken him a few minutes, but he had found his confidence without the helmet. You smiled at the thought; he was a true Mandalorian. A sense of ease overwhelmed you, made you too comfortable and your tongue too loose.

“My heart is in the hands of the fighter.”

You reached your hand over and pushed Din’s fingers closed over the hilt of the Darksaber. For a moment, you fingers lingered over his. You savored the warmth before pulling away. Finding enough courage, you held Din’s gaze again and felt your fear dissipate.

“But I think he knows that already.”

Din swallowed hard before replying, “he does.”

Burnt by embarrassment, you took a step back from him. Just as you were about to take another, dismiss yourself from the conversation and your ultimate rejection, there was a clang. You watched as Din’s helmet hit the floor and as he reached his newly free hand out. His gloved fingers wrapped around your wrist and pulled you back. You took not of his eyes again, how they flicked between yours and your lips. Was he nervous too?

“And he feels the same.”

“You-”

“I feel the same,” Din clarified, eyes focused solely on your face.

Then, it was just the two of you again. Two Foundlings once lost then found again by the other. Wed to the fight but tied to each other. This was the way, wasn’t it? You felt sure it was.

When Din bent down and captured your lips with his, you felt all the more strongly about it. Whatever way, whatever path Din followed, you would be close behind. You were two bounty hunters, fallen from grace and into a world unprepared for what would follow.

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lucemferto · 4 years

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WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT PH1LZA (or Why Philza is a Victim of Narrative Circumstance)

Heyo! Per request I am posting the script to my video of the same name here on tumblr. I must warn you that just reading the script will probably not give you the full experience, so I would encourage you to watch the video (linked above).

There might also still be a lot of grammatical errors in the text, because I don’t proofread.

Intro

LAST TIME ON LUCEM FERTO

Okay, so! I don’t want this to turn into a reaction channel OR a Dream SMP channel for that matter! [echo]

Well, I lied.

[Intro to “Luc is pretentious about the funny blockmen. Episode 2”]

I swear, I’m working on other stuff. It’s just that my dumb lizard brain has only capacity for one interest at a time!

So, something you might not know about me, is that I am on tumblr – who am I kidding, most of you will know me from tumblr. Before starting this whole YouTube thing, I thought that website died years ago – but as per usual reality proves me wrong. I’m also on Twitter and Reddit, but I get the most engagement on tumblr – by far! – and I need those sweet, sweet numbers for the serotonin!

Anyways, one of my favourite past-times on tumblr is to razz Philza Hardcore Minecraft – that’s his full name – for being a frankly awful father [clicking away] – wait, wait, no! Philza fans, this isn’t a hit piece on him, I promise! Please come back!

This is video is meant to be a companion piece to my previous video about Technoblade and the Doomsday event – you can tell by the shared nomenclature – so you should probably watch that one before you proceed. Unless you don’t want to, which is also perfectly understandable.

DISCLAIMER: This video is mostly about the character Philza plays on the Dream SMP. Whenever I talk about the content creator Philza, I will say so properly. Also, Spoiler Warning for Dream SMP Season 2.

… What is that? You’re wondering what the Dream SMP is? Well, if you had just watched the other video like I told you to do, you would know, because I explained it pretty well there. But in case you don’t know, here’s the cliff notes.

Dream SMP is the hottest New Media Series on Twitch right now! It has it all: gaslighting, child soldiers, Machiavellian political intrigue, Hamilton roleplay, desecration of the dead, shounen protagonists, SO! MUCH! AMNESIA! Filicide, furries, a red egg that’s definitely homophobic and teenagers inventing nuclear warfare. And it’s all done in Minecraft – yes, the funny block game where the only way to emote is to crouch.

And you say the perfect brief doesn’t exist!

Now, you might be wondering, why do I want to talk about this? Well, it’s because Content Creator Philza is one of least controversial internet personalities that I can think of. That man exudes pure comfort. So, it’s just very, very amusing to me that his character became one of the most controversial figures on the SMP, only outshone by Tommy and Technoblade.

And it’s not just amusing, it’s also extremely interesting! I want to dig deep to uncover and discuss the dynamics behind why that is. How did it come to this point? How did a man who appears genuinely so pleasant create a character that inspires so much discourse!

Now, if you watched that Technoblade video – like I told you to twice now! – you might know, that I am the resident character analyses hater of fandom! And that impression is false and slanderous! Don’t tell other people that I hate character analyses! I love them!

It’s just that, in the Dream SMP in particular, there is an abundance of character analyses! Every streamer has at least two very good essays written about them, exploring every possible angle to view their characters and backgrounds and everything. All I’m saying is: I don’t have anything to add on that front.

So, instead I want to pursue a different approach – something, that I feel is a bit underrepresented in the fandom! And I’m not just talking narrative analysis – that’s right, this episode we’re going even more pretentious! – I’m talking Transtextual Analysis!

Now, what is Transtextuality? Well, unfortunately it has very little to do with actual Trans people – #transrights, just in case that wasn’t obvious – but instead describes a mode of analysis with which to put – to quote French literary theorist Gérard Genette – “the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts”.

Basically, you know how the L’Manburg War of Independence heavily quotes and borrows from the hit musical Hamilton? That’s transtextuality! A lot of the analyses surrounding how Tommy mirrors the Greek hero Theseus, who was invoked by Technoblade multiple times in the series, are already doing transtextual analysis! So, it’s really not something that’s new to the Dream SMP fandom.

But how does this apply to Philza and how he is looked at and judged by his parental skills? Well, there are multiple forms of transtextuality, two of which we will discuss today.

But before we continue, I gotta do that annoying YouTuber thing. I know these videos don’t look like much, but I spend a really long time making them. I work fulltime and I try my best to keep up, but sometimes I can’t. So please, like, subscribe, comment to give me some algorithm juice – I really need it – and most importantly share it! Share it with your friends, share it with your family – I’m sure Grandma is very interested in what I have to say about Philza Minecraft.

And I’m trying to be better! If I sound at all different for this video, it’s because I finally bought a new pop filter, so I can hit my plosives without it sounding like there’s a thunderstorm in my room. I hope it makes a difference; it was a very cheap pop filter, so maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it sounds worse – that would be bad!

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, CHILD NEGLEGT!

Intertextuality: Why is Dadza?

You know what’s really interesting about the Dream SMP – aside from, you know, most things about it? Very few of the characters have concrete, fleshed-out backstories – and that’s pretty weird! In no other medium or genre could you get away with something like that – at least for long-form storytelling!

So, how does Dream SMP get away with this? Well, it’s because every character on the Dream SMP is basically a self-insert – and I don’t mean that in the “This character is based on me”-kinda way, but in the “This character, for all intents and purposes, is me!”-way. This, like many things that are fascinating about the Dream SMP, is owed to the fact that this series didn’t start off as a continuous drama – it started off as a Let’s Play.

And while we can talk about how someone’s on-camera/on-mic persona is in some ways a character, it’s still miles off of being an actual, fully-realized, separate character in a storyline.

This is where Intertextuality comes in.

Intertextuality is a subset of Transtextuality. It describes how the hypertext, which is the text, you’re currently engaged with, uses another text, the hypotext, to supplement itself. The interconnection the hypertext establishes with the hypotext, through stuff like allusion for example, uh-hum [Hamilton], can colour how an audience interprets the hypertext. Basically, Hamilton and Theseus are the hypotexts; the Dream SMP is the hypertext.

So, what does this have to do with backstory? Simple: The backstories of the characters in the Dream SMP consist basically of nothing but intertextual references. Through intertextuality their content effectively substitutes their character’s backstory.

You can see it everywhere. Wilbur’s and Schlatt’s relationship and rivalry is hugely enriched, if you are aware of their shared history like SMPLive, for example – I think anyway. I haven’t watched SMPLive, because … there’s only so many hours in the day and I cannot keep up with the Dream SMP and catch up on SMPLive and live a healthy life – which I already don’t do, so…

BadBoyHalo’s and Skeppy’s relationship, which has become the crux of the Crimson-Storyline of Seasons 2 and 3, is hugely supplemented if you know that they’re also very close as streamers and in real life.

Another great example of intertextuality is basically Technoblade’s entire deal. If you just look at him completely within the text of the Dream SMP and try to transplant his entrance to any other medium: It would be extremely weird! Like, he’s just this guy that comes in in the middle of a very climatic arc, no build-up, no explanation what his deal is, and he’s treated like he has always been there. In any other medium that just wouldn’t work – at least not without a flashback or some sort of exposition!

But because of stuff like Minecraft Mondays, the Potato Wars, his Duel against Dream and SMPEarth, we understand that he is a Big Deal!

Anyways, to bring all of this back to Philza Minecraft: What kind of hypotext informs how the audience sees his character? Well, this is where I will have to talk about SBI.

SBI is an acronym that stand for State Bank of India, the 43rd largest bank in the world and…

It also stands for Sleepy Bois Incorporated. Sleepy Bois Incorporated is a loose assembly of content creators, consisting of Philza, Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit and Technoblade. It is most well-known for its very endearing family dynamic – a dynamic that is frequently acknowledged and played up by the creators involved. Tommy is the youngest brother, Wilbur and Techno are the two older brothers and Philza is of course the dad. And when I say, it’s played up, I really mean it! Wilbur seems to be especially enamoured with the idea and leaves no opportunity untaken to bring it up – which we will come back to.

And I’m not saying that they’re faking this and this is somehow an act. While I know none of these people personally, it appears to me, that this is genuinely how they interact – if a little exaggerated for the streaming experience. Even when they’re not consciously playing into the family dynamic, their interactions still very much lend themselves to that interpretation by the viewers.

Philza especially just radiates Dad-Friend energy – so much so that it has become a huge part of his brand identity – yay, I can bring that back (check out my Christmas video if you want to hear me ramble about that). The nickname Dadza stuck even before SBI was a thing.

So, even if we completely disregard SBI – which we shouldn’t for reasons I’ll get back to – Philza has cultivated an image of strong paternal guidance. He is, in my opinion completely deservedly, regarded very positively. He is highly respected and in turn seen as a voice of reason.

All of this would eventually inform the hypotext of the character Philza within Dream SMP.

Interlude: Before Dadza & November 16th

Okay, so now we have established that a) Dream SMP heavily hinges on intertextual readings by the audience to supplement character backstory and b) that Philza’s entire deal is that he’s the dad-friend – more specifically that he’s the dad of SBI (not the bank). I think you know where this is going.

So, yeah, ever since it was on the table that Philza could join the Dream SMP, it was immediately assumed that he would take on the paternal guardian role all these traumatized people on that server so desperately needed – and with good reason! Like I said before, the audience at this point was trained to take intertextual interpretations as basically canon or at the very least canon-adjacent.

I want to emphasize that this is most likely not done deliberately. I’m sure content creators Wilbur and Philza didn’t sit there and said: “Yes! We will rely entirely on the audience’s inclination to interpret our characters intertextually to define character Philza!”. Like, obviously that did not happen.

But it’s also important to remember that unlike with traditional media and the fanbases cultivated there, the separation between the Dream SMP and its audience is almost non-existent – and purposely so. The story events are streamed live, Chats are acknowledged in canon and even outside of livestreams creators are extremely involved with the fandom. So, the weight of fan-expectations is equally amplified and will more likely be incorporated into the writing process. Case in point:

[Wilbur “I miss Philza”/Philza about Wilbur]

During Wilbur’s villain arc, even before his official involvement, Philza became a prevalent point of discussion. The hope that he would be the one to snap Wilbur out of his downward spiral was not only wish-fulfilment on behalf of the fans; it also very much played off of the intertextual reading of the SBI-dynamic in relation to the Dream SMP.

Of course, this still doesn’t make Philza and Wilbur canonically blood-related – but it definitely used the “paternal”-dynamic of SBI to build-up tension and drama.

And that ultimately brings us to November 16th. The Grand Finale of Season 1 and Philza’s first canonical appearance on the SMP.

Now, for this I want to pull back from the transtextual analysis and talk about simply narrative analysis: What is Philza’s narrative purpose on November 16th?

Philza serves as the last threshold on Wilbur’s Villain’s Journey – to appropriate Vogler’s version of the monomyth for a minute here – he is what Vogler calls the “Threshold Guardian”. He is the last enemy the Hero faces before completing his quest – in this particular case Wilbur’s quest is to blow up L’Manberg. Multiple people have at this point tried to dissuade him from this course of action: Tommy, Quackity, Niki and others. So how come this Philza moment is not redundant in terms of dynamics compared to these prior scenes?

Well, it’s through our intertextual understanding of Wilbur’s and Phil’s relationship. Because Philza does not just occupy the role of the Threshold Guardian – he is also implicitly the Mentor. Before Phil there was no character in the storyline that held a higher position of moral authority than Wilbur – Dream and Schlatt, while at points more powerful in terms of actual authority, were never positioned by the narrative as Wilbur’s superiors in the same way as Wilbur was to Tommy, Tubbo or even Niki.

Before November 16th all challenges Wilbur faced were from people narratively subordinated to him. But that trend is broken with Phil. That is why he is the Threshold Guardian, why this confrontation is at the climax of Wilbur’s arc. Because Phil is the last thing tethering Wilbur to whatever morality he held before his villain arc; Phil is the last, moral obstacle Wilbur has to discard before gaining his reward.

And, just a quick sidenote, because I’ve seen it around the fandom a bunch: When I’m referring to Wilbur denouncing his morality, I’m using that in terms of narrative analysis. I’m mentioning it, because Wilbur’s character can very easily be read as mentally ill or neurodivergent and some people have – rightly! – pointed out that the excessive vilifying when talking about his character is … problematic, to say the least.

So, I just want to make clear, this isn’t a character analysis, I’m being purposely broad when talking about Wilbur and Phil.

In the end, Wilbur takes that final step and gets his “reward”: As his final request his mentor takes his life and vanquishes the evil – the dragon of Wilbur’s story slays the dragon of L’Manburg. It’s very Shakespearean in its tragedy – but beyond the larger theatrics it’s not really used to further characterize Phil – at least in the context of Season 1. There’s not a lot of focus on his characters internal conflict during November 16th.

Phil, like Techno, is very utilitarian in how content creator Wilbur writes him: He serves as a moment of hype; an obstacle Wilbur has to face; a participant in the tragic climax of Wilbur’s character and ultimately takes on his implicit and expected role of mentor and guiding figure to the rest of L’Manburg.

I think not a lot of people talk about how Philza does not join Technoblade during November 16th. He takes the side of L’Manburg – he fights against the withers and he joins Tommy, Tubbo and the others at the L’Mantree, thus framing him as loyal to the L’Manburg administration – even though Season 2 would make his loyalty to Techno central to his character. But more on that later.

What’s also important about November 16th is that this is the day when the general intertextual interpretation became canonized text.

[You’re my son!]

Wilbur is made Phil’s canonical, biological son. The intertextual interpretation of SBI as it pertains to these two characters on the SMP was completely reinforced by the narrative. Or to put it in Fandom terms: The headcanon became actual canon. At least when it came to Wilbur … but what about Philza’s “other” children?

Well, that leads to our second form of transtextual analysis:

Paratextuality: Is Dadza?

These titles are just getting better and better.

The Paratext is defined as all those things in a published work that accompany the text. It comes in two forms: One of them is the Peritext, which are non-diegetic elements directly surrounding the text – like chapter titles, author’s notes, and stuff like that. Translated to the medium of the Dream SMP, it would be stuff like this:

[Examples]

And, trust me, I could make a whole separate video about how people on the SMP use their peritext as a tool for storytelling – I’m looking at you, Ranboo – but that’s not what we will talk about in the context of Dadza.

Instead, we will focus on the second form of Paratext, the Epitext, which consists of all authorial and editorial discussions taking place outside of the text. That’s stuff like interviews, private letters or J. K. Rowling’s Twitter Account – you know, before she decided to become a full-time asshole.

[Wilbur: Transrights]

After Season 1 ended, Wilbur indulged pretty heavily in providing epitext for the Dream SMP, something he had not done prior to November 16th. His paratextual additions ranged from the playful, like assigning DnD alignments to various SMP members, to the extremely impactful, like the whole three lives system!

You probably think, you know where this is going. Wilbur provided some epitext about how Tommy and Techno either are or are not biologically related to him … and I have to be honest I thought that too. But then I began looking into the impenetrable web that is the SBI-canon on the Dream SMP and found this!

[Ghostbur explains family]

So, it wasn’t paratext, it was just straight text. Said in character, in canon, without any implication that we the viewers should question this. The text of the SBI family dynamic was explicitly linked to Dream SMP-exclusive lore, namely Fundy being Wilbur’s and Sally the Salmon’s son. This is as clear as Philza’s anguished declaration on November 16th in establishing the intertext as text. And because Wilbur also had a very heavy hand in the discussion of paratext around that time, it gave his character’s words even more “canonical” weight. Metatextually speaking, this very much read like the author giving exposition through his character – exposition that we should understand as reliable.

And, by the way, before I continue, I need to give a huge, huge shoutout to kateis-cakeis on tumblr, I hope I pronounced that right, who was just so quick in providing me with these crucial clips. Without him I would have looked for days because these people don’t archive their shit! And the Dream SMP Wiki was NO help, by the way! I love what you guys do, but stuff like this belongs in the Trivia section on characters’ pages!

Anyways, basically during the entirety of early Season 2 the SBI family dynamic was basically canon to the SMP. Sometimes it was only alluded implicitly, again letting the intertext fill out the rest.

[Philza clips]

But just as often it was just explicitly talked about – both in the text and in the paratext.

[Fundy clip/Wilbur “Twins” clip/Tommy clip]

So, I know what you’re thinking: “Why is this part called paratext, if the entire family tree is just textual”. Well, that last clip might give you a hint, as to what I will talk about. Notice how Tommy, one of the people most directly impacted by the canonization of SBI lore, is both unaware of and seems generally unenthused about it, to put it nicely? Well, that would soon turn out to be a much bigger deal than anyone could have imagined as he wasn’t the only one.

[Technoblade decanonizes SBI]

Yeah …

This happened on 20th of December. Regular viewers of this channel will remember that I put out a 90-second joke video, where I complain about this very development. And while I was mostly kidding around, the core idea is still true. The paratext provided by Technoblade and established text were in direct contradiction with one another – and that brought a lot of confusion into the fandom. Confusion, that would soon be followed by frustration.

Because Techno only decanonized himself as part of the SBI family dynamic – but what about Tommy and Tubbo, the latter of which was incorporated into the dynamic exclusively within the lore of the Dream SMP. Was this still canon or wasn’t it?

What followed was a muddled mess of contradictions, intertextual implications, text and paratext in conflict with each another. It was for the most part inscrutable to figure out how Tommy and Philza related to one another. I’ll spare you every comment made about this – mostly because I want to spare myself from looking for all of them.

In the end, the current status is that their familial relationship is … unclear. Philza said, again in paratext, that it’s ultimately up to the writers to decide, whether or not Tommy is his son … which, I personally think he and Tommy should be the ones to establish that, but I’ll come back to that later.

But why is all of this important anyway? Why would this ambiguity create such an uproar, such controversy – especially when it comes to Tommy’s character? What makes Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship such a target for discussion in the fandom?

Well … this is where we will have to talk about the storyline of Season 2.

Interlude II: Tommy’s Exile and Dadza in Season 2

Okay, Season 2. This is where the spoilers are, so I will just sneakily drop this again. It took me five seconds to google this gif and I will milk it for every penny it’s worth!

At the beginning of Season 2, Philza’s narrative role has not changed much from where Season 1 ended. He is in L’Manburg dispensing earthly wisdom, being a paternal figure to Fundy, Ghostbur and Tubbo, helping with the nation’s rebuilding efforts; just generally occupying the role of the mentor.

[clips]

And then came … the Exile. The Exile Arc took place between December 3rd and December 15th during Season 2 of the Dream SMP. It revolves around TommyInnit getting exiled from L’Manburg and slowly getting psychologically tortured and broken down by Dream. It’s a really great arc, at least in my opinion, that explores and deepens a lot of Tommy’s character relationships, whether that be Tommy and Dream, Tommy and Tubbo or Tommy and Ranboo. One relationship, however, is noticeably missing.

So, yeah, Philza spends basically the entirety of the exile doing pretty much nothing of consequence. And that’s not a problem specific to him – One big criticism I would levy against the Exile Arc is that a lot of characters are left spinning their wheels. Which is why we get zany stuff like El Rapids, Drywaters, Eret’s Knights of the Roundtable, Boomerville – anyone remember Boomerville, that was a thing for 5 seconds, wasn’t it? – basically a lot of storylines are started and then unceremoniously dropped. Now, I will talk more about this, when I make a video about Season 2 of the Dream SMP … in ten years, look forward to it.

In the case of Philza, this inaction was especially damning, because at this point it was still a considered canon that he was Tommy’s dad. So, the fans were left with a situation, where just a few weeks prior Philza was occupying a paternal role for Fundy and Ghostbur … but now, that his youngest son was in a very concerning predicament – to put it lightly – he was nowhere to be found.

So why is that?

Well, the most obvious answer is that Dream and Tommy didn’t write him into the storyline. We’ve seen that Tommy wasn’t particularly interested in exploring a familial relationship to Philza, at least at the time. And it would just not fit in with what Dream and Tommy tried to do with the Exile Arc: they wanted to tell the story of Tommy being isolated, completely under Dream’s mercy, slowly worn down and manipulated. If Philza had been constant presence for Tommy during that time, it would have definitely shifted the narrative focus. That doesn’t mean that they couldn’t have done that, it’s just a matter of fact that they didn’t.

This also reveals another truth about content creator Philza’s character work, that I think is extremely crucial: He takes what the writers give him. Outside of a few choice moments, he doesn’t seem particularly interested in expanding or even solidifying his character on the SMP.

What I’m saying is that he is very go-with-the-flow: Wilbur wants to enact a Shakespearean tragedy? Philza’s up for it. Fundy wants him as a parental figure and mentor? Philza’s here for him. Tommy, conversely, doesn’t want him as a paternal presence, even though it would make sense for Philza’s character, as it was established so far, to be there? Philza will oblige.

The reason I’m mentioning this is because, while Tommy and Dream were unwilling to utilise Philza in their storyline, someone else was more than happy to. Which leads us back, like it always does, to everyone’s favourite Porky Pig-kinnie in a crown: Technoblade.

Technoblade and Philza, from everything I’ve seen of them, seem to be very good friends – and they share a lot of history even outside SBI. So, it’s commendable that they would collaborate on a storyline together.

A consequence of that, however, is that Philza’s narrative purpose shifts completely with very little transition. His entire character changes from being the Mentor-figure of L’Manberg to being pretty much exclusively defined as Technoblade’s ally; his man on the inside. It is a very sharp turn from the end of Season 1. Their relationship is once again informed via intertext – this time the Antarctic Empire on SMPEarth serves as the hypotext – but there isn’t a huge effort made to smoothly integrate that aspect of Philza’s character into the larger narrative framing around him.

How much the narrative utilisation of Philza has shifted can be very easily observed through the Butcher Army event on December 16th, a story event that I like less and less the more I think about. Here Philza is used to show just how corrupt and violent Tubbo’s administration has becomes. He is no longer the respected mentor, he is now the stand-in for the oppressed populace, similar to Niki’s role in Season 1. On a narrative level, he is here to prove a point.

If you’ve seen my Technoblade video, you know how I feel about … just that entire storyline, so I will not reiterate too much on it. I just want to make clear that I’m not principally against this development – if they wanted to truly explore Tubbo going down a dark path and getting corrupted by power, so much so that he would even treat the person who effectively raised him like a prisoner, I would be extremely here for it, I cannot stress that enough.

The problem I have is that it’s just so sloppily done. It is not coherent with how these characters behaved and, more importantly, how they were narratively framed prior to the Butcher Army event. Fundy gets one token line about Phil being his Grandfather – a far cry from the very emotionally complex relationship they had established at the beginning of Season 2 – and Phil then callously disowns him.

The major problem simply is that we don’t see how Philza changes from Mentor-figure to embittered, oppressed citizen. And there was enough time to build to that. During the entirety of Tommy’s exile Tubbo was pretty much spinning his wheels and Quackity and Fundy were opening up plot cul-de-sacs that didn’t end up going anywhere. This is time they could have spent on developing their relationship to Philza and the dark path they were going down – but again, Season 2 video.

There is not much to say on Philza’s narrative purpose and framing beyond the Butcher Army event. He remains pretty much exclusively Techno’s consigliere with his role as Mentor to L’Manburg a distant memory. He has some cute character moments with Ranboo, because content creator Philza is just big dad-energy whether he wants to or not, and whenever he and Ghostbur share a scene suddenly the narrative remembers that there are people other than Technoblade that should exist in Philza’s inner world. But aside from that, Philza’s storyline in Season 2 remains … pretty definitive is the nicest way I can put it.

Most importantly his relationship with Tommy continues to be completely unexplored – whether by chance or choice – and that combined with ever vaguer paratext leaves “Dadza” in a very peculiar situation.

Conclusion: Is Dadza a Good Dadza?

So, the question to end all questions. The big, obnoxious text, that I will probably have put in the thumbnail – I haven’t made it yet, but I know myself. The honest answer is: I couldn’t tell you.

I have, in the past, been expounding the virtues of narrative analysis. That is because I feel that Narrative Analysis and Textual Analysis, like in this video, can provide certain tools that Character Analysis lacks. Often times I see people trying to get at a writing problem or query and getting frustrated because they’re not using the toolset, they need to figure out what they want to figure out.

But I’d be a hypocrite if I pretended like everything could be solved through the modes of analysis I prefer. And I think the Dadza-issue is exactly such a case.

I set out to explore why the Philza-Tommy-“Dadza”-relationship has become so controversial. It’s a combination of expectations build up through intertextual readings, that were partly canonized – something that is very common for the Dream SMP – conflicting pieces of paratext, which only serve to muddle the issue further and a text that is not only completely uninterested in actually exploring Tommy’s and Philza’s relationship – as it stands right now they might as well be strangers, narratively speaking – but also completely changes Philza’s narrative purpose as it relates to characters like Fundy or Tubbo about half-way through with little to no transition.

That is why I say, that Philza’s character is a victim of narrative circumstance. Because unwittingly, through all of these factors and decisions, there is not coherent reading of Philza that frames his parental skills in a particularly kind light.

The question of how we can judge Phil as a paternal figure ultimately falls within the purview of the character analysis – and that’s a very multifaceted issue, highly dependent on which POV you focus on and how you interpret the other characters in that POV’s periphery.

To put my cards on the table, I think that Philza is a very flawed father/father-figure – and I find that absolutely okay. Flaws are the spice of character building. He is not Cinderella’s Evil Stepmother – but he’s also definitely not Mufasa. If we were to read Philza as a paternal figure, then he would have made a lot of mistakes and decisions to the detriment of his “children” – least of all everything that happened on Doomsday.

But I also have sympathies for Philza fans who are tired of the Dad-Debate and would like to have his character judged independent from his relationship to Ghostbur, Fundy, Tubbo and Tommy.

Ultimately, to bring it all to a point, I’d like to end with saying, that I think that Philza, out of all the characters on the SMP, has the potential to be on of the most intriguing, multifaceted ones. There are all of these different patches of story, character moments and narrative and transtextual implications, that, if brought together, could create a beautiful tapestry of the character Philza.

You have his relationship with Techno, which holds the potential for so much emotional conflict and vulnerabilities, you have his time as mentor of L’Manburg, which is just criminally underused; the complex relationship between him and Ghostbur/Wilbur; and – for me, personally – most intriguingly this weird, almost uncomfortably distant non-relationship with Tommy. That last one is intriguing to me, because it contrasts just so much with our intertextual understanding of the characters and streaming personas – and it just holds the potential for so much conflict, so much drama, so much angst. Which I live for!

And, yes, I do believe that most of this is narrative happenstance, that this was largely not intended by Philza or really any of the writers. It’s just what happens when hybrid-roleplay-improv a long-running, livestreamed storyline in Minecraft.

But I want them to realize the potential they have on their hands, because it could – with barely any adjustments – turn Philza from a victim of narrative circumstance to a champion of it!

Outro

Thank you so much for watching this video. Usually, I don’t record outros this standard, but after this beast of a video I felt it necessary. I hope that whether you’re a Philza fan or a Philza critical or just completely uninvolved in the whole thing, there is at least a little entertainment you could get from this.

I want to take this opportunity to say that my next few videos will probably not be Dream SMP related – a sentence which undoubtedly lost me a bunch of subs – simply because I don’t want to burn out on it. I genuinely enjoy watching the SMP and being exhausted by it would be something I wouldn’t want to force on myself.

But who knows what will happen? The Karl Jacobs video was something I did spur of the moment because the idea just came to me – so I can’t guarantee that the next video won’t be a three-minute joke about Purpled or whatever.

Anyway, my concrete plans for future Dream SMP videos are essays on Season 1 and Season 2 as well as one for Tales from the SMP.

Before that I have a longer video in the works, which I’ve already teased a bunch, so I hope it will finally be finished sometime. And I also may be working on something … eboys-related? Maybe. I’m not making any promises!

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b4kubiddies · 4 years

Text

how bakugou would interact with animals: scenarios

characters: bakugou, gender neutral s/o

warnings: mention of bugs

okay so i saw this drawing of bakugou w/ a cat and i can’t stop thinking abt it so i wrote this

i have so many pets

hope everyone had a great day :))

bunnies: I think he’d be okay with bunnies, he’s probably used to them from koda’s being around the dorms (have y’all seen the pic of him chasing koda’s bunny-). he spent lots of time outdoors as a kid, he was bound to cross paths with one sometime in his life. He probably wouldn’t want to hold yours if you had one, but he wouldn’t mind it, maybe even stroking it on occasions.

you sat on the couch watching a show, your soft plush rabbit seated in your lap. katsuki sat to your left, switching his gaze back and forth between the tv and your lap, starring your favorite ball of fluff down. the bunny ruffled in your lap, shaking slightly from the look it had received from your partner. you looked down at the rabbit, soothing it by rubbing behind it’s ears and offering it another piece of lettuce. as it settled down, you saw bakugou reach his hand up, gently flattening the ears of the bunny with his large hand, a soft scowl on his face as he did so. you smiled, your heart swooning at the thought of such a big tough guy being soft for a silly little rabbit.

guinea pigs: Bakugou is scared of them omg. I’ve had quite a few guinea pigs (i only have 2 rn), and every grown man i’ve showed them to was lowkey scared. They do bite on occasion, if you tickle them or if they simply don’t want to be touched.

taking your tiny pet out of the cage, you set it down in it’s playpen to get some time to safely run. you stepped over the barrier, seating yourself on the floor with some treats in your hand. your guinea pig loved carrots, especially fed straight from your hand. bakugou walked in to your bedroom, cocking a brow at the sight of you sitting on the floor near the edge of the pen before he sat on the edge of your bed. you got out when you noticed him, scooping the small animal back into your arms. you sat next to him, noticing his intense stare at your guinea pig. you gently set the guinea pig on his lap without warning. the look of pure panic on his face was priceless, a grown man terrified of such a small creature. “scared, suki?” you teasingly asked, your partner looking up with a look mixed with anger and fright. the guinea pig nibbled at bakugou’s lap, you laughed slightly as you picked it back up to rid him of his fear. just as you were headed towards the cage, the fuzzy little thing peed on your arm. bakugou laughed incessantly as you stood there in anger and disbelief,telling you that karma sure is a bitch!

cats: he probably hates cats, they’re adorable but so so spiteful. he also hates that the cat gets most of your attention.

katsuki was lounged on the couch, watching you play with your cat on the floor near his feet. you’d had it since before you got together, and it was almost heart wrenching to hear he wasn’t fond of your furry friend. as you swung the feather ended stick back and fourth, the cat darted in the same direction. as you moved the feather closer towards bakugou, the cat lept and clung to his calf, digging and sinking it’s sharp claws into his skin. katsuki hissed angrily, mumbling something along the lines of “shitty cat” as the feline released its claws and resumed playing. god did he hate that cat, constantly jumping on him to get to you, nuzzling in between you both to separate your cuddle sessions. you often heard him fight with the cat, yelling at it to move while he was cooking, then yelling when it spitefully pushed something on the counter. telling it not to come in the bathroom while he showered, not to scratch at the couch. their relationship was comedical to you, but god did he wish you’d get rid of that shitty cat.

dogs: he loves dogs, especially big ones. he thinks they’re badass, “manly” as kiri would say. he loves the loyalty and strength dogs tend to have, finding it similar to himself. he wouldn’t mind a medium sized dog, but he wouldn’t like small dogs. there can only be one angry yapping pomeranian in the house, and he’s already filled that spot. (i’m not a big dog fan, don’t like the way they constantly lick you)

starting off so small and tiny, a pretty puppy with a bow collar in a box, the dog you had surprised your partner with for his birthday had grown as big as a beast. bakugou loved the dog, loved teaching it tricks and commands, even loved cooking it a spare piece of meat when he prepared dinner. this was hands down the best present he’d ever received, he’d put years and years of pride into making the clumsy lil’ pup into a well behaved companion. the dog often sat or layed with him on the couch, never straying far from katsuki’s side. as you stood up from your seat next to bakugou to get a drink from the kitchen, the dog stole your spot in an attempt to be closer to it’s favorite owner. you huffed as you sat down on the other end of the couch, katsuki chuckling at your reaction as he stroked the head of the pup laying in his lap.

turtles: i think he’d find them intriguing. not his favorite animal, but he doesn’t mind them.

you went to take the turtle out of the tank, ready to clean and scrub it. bakugou watched as you struggled to catch it, the damn thing swimming away every time you went for it. he walked over as you groaned in frustration, ready to help you catch it. he had seen wild turtles before, caught them in the river growing up with his friends (and that damn nerd deku). he knew you had to be patient, wait until they settle down before sneaking up on them. he took your hands out of the tank, giving the turtle a chance to calm down. he gently reached his large hands in, grabbing and catching the small thing in one go. you scowled at his success, him smirking back at you as a silent brag. he helped you clean the tank, you scrubbed the turtle’s shell to reduce the risk of shell rot. when you were finally done you thanked him, joking that if he hadn’t helped you would have had turtle soup for dinner.

lizards (this ones abt geckos): i think they also kinda interest him, there are some really pretty lizards and he likes the pattern of the one you have. he likes to watch them hunt their food, he thinks its badass.

katsuki watched you scoop the lizard up, softly placing it near your neck. they always love the spot, it’s so nice and warm that they often fall asleep. he watched it crawl around you, running up your neck before settling in it’s favorite spot. you began to clean it’s tank, ridding it of all the bugs that had not been eaten. he watched as you changed it’s water and the matt on the bottom of the tank, the lizard sitting nice and pretty the whole time. it was as if it knew it had pretty colors, wanting to display them for everyone to see. you set it back down in the tank, watching it crawl into the safety of it’s dark hiding hut. bakugou made his way over to you, startling you as he slipped his arms around your waist. he peered over your shoulder as you dropped in some food, closely paying attention to the way it lunged at the crickets, unapologetically devouring them. you both cheered the lizard on, somehow fit was fun to watch the small thing eat.

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weirdthinkingdragon · 4 years

Text

Slithering Chains PT (1/3)

Yandere naga present mic x reader

quirkless/aged up au. Warnings: Only swearing for now

“C’mon Y/N! It will be fun! Rumor has it there are friendly nagas on the island!” Gushed Mina. That makes me cross my arms. She’s seriously out of her mind if she thinks it’s a good idea to go to an island for something that’s a supposed rumor.

“I highly doubt they’d be friendly. Especially since we’d technically be invading their territory.” I reply. She rolls her eyes and huffs.

“Besides, why should we go looking for a damn overgrown lizard?” Katsuki cuts in with a scowl and his arms crossed. Hanta shrugs. “I’m with Mina on this. It would be really cool to see one,” he turns to Eijiro. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping we could go camping instead somewhere. Katsuki still has to show me those incredibly manly skills he learned back in boy scouts he hasn’t shown me yet.” Katsuki’s face went to full-on pride.

Mina suddenly jumps up and down. “I have the PERFECT idea! We should go camping at the island!!! That way we could do both!”

“Ooh! That’s a great idea! Count me in!” Exclaimed Denki.

Katsuki’s face falls into a deep frown. “That actually sounds like a good idea!” Eijiro cheerfully replies. Mina fist-bumps the air and tackles Eijiro into a tight hug. “You can definitely count me in!.” Hanta pipes up.

I can already tell we’re not going to win this argument. Wait, didn’t Hanta go to boy scouts as well? “Weren’t you in boy scouts too? Can’t you do the same things?” I question. He sheepishly smiles at me. “Eh, I didn’t last very long in it for a few different reasons.”

“Not showing up half the damn time and hanging out with dunce face really didn’t help.” Katsuki informs. They both flinch at his words. “Uh… let’s not talk about that…”

They all suddenly turn to me expectantly, even Katsuki, probably hoping I deny. You know what? There’s nothing too bad that could possibly happen, and they most likely won’t stop begging until we do. “... fine,” I turn to Katsuki. “You better have some mad skills.”

He glares at me annoyed. “Of fucking course they’re good!”

I smirk. Sometimes he’s so fun to piss off. “Well, pack up guys. We’re going camping.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

It took a little longer than we thought to find a boat that would take us. No one wanted to go to the island. We eventually found a place around the ocean that would bring us for a rather large fee. None of us were happy about that but it was the best shot we had. Also if something happens to us on the island we’re on our own since they won’t come back for four days to pick us up. Good thing we packed extra food. We also only brought three tents since they’d be a hassle to carry otherwise and we can take turns carrying them if needed.

We get right up to the island and get dropped off on a sandy beach. The boat immediately pulls away from the island. A nagging feeling was rising in the back of my mind. “You wonder why none of them wanted to come to this island?” I suddenly question.

“It does seem a little odd. Even the one we came on left pretty quickly. I’m sure it’s nothing important though!” Eijiro replies.

I refuse to let it fly by. Something about that seems more wrong the more I think about it. Looking at Katsuki, he seems to be thinking the same way I am. The other four take off towards the tall trees not too far from the beach. With the sun being at its highest peak, the trees are casting a large shady area half over the beach. I’m a little jealous of how he’s carrying two of the tents and his backpack so effortlessly.

Luckily they waited up ahead for us. “Seriously, if you and I weren’t around, I swear they’d have died of their crazy antics years ago.” He grunts in confirmation. Denki sees something and takes off in another direction.

“Denki! Get your ass back here! We need to stick together for now!” I yell at him.

“Come here then! This place has weird blueberries!”

Oh no. “Denki! Don’t eat them/Don’t even touch the fucking bush!” Katsukii and I yell simultaneously. We quickly get up to him with the other three trailing behind us. Katsuki goes right up to him and slaps the small black berry in his hand out of it. “You fucking dumbass, that’s nightshade!”

Looking at the bush, it wasn’t just any nightshade. I facepalm. “We haven’t been here for even ten minutes and you already almost ate deadly nightshade.”

From the fear that grew on Denki’s face, he understood well the name of the plant and stepped away. “Whew, well, uh… Good thing I didn’t eat one yet, huh?”

The only reply was Katsuki smacking Denki on his forehead.

“I’m sorry! I won’t do it again!” He shrieks.

Boisterous laughter comes from above. We look around, and my eyes catch onto a long tail draping across a few of the branches higher up. It was light green with darker green lines across and a pale yellow underside. “Good thing ya caught your friend! I was just about to stop him myself!” The large serpent body trickles to the floor like molasses until the too human-like torso comes down as well. His hair is incredibly long. It’s past where his torso ends and the snake part begins. He’s. Fucking. Massive. I look at Mina. “You didn’t tell me they were this big!”

“How was I supposed to know!? The news never said anything about their size!” She yells at me. Katsuki goes into a fighting stance like he could actually do harm to the giant thing. Judging from the chest and face, it’s a male. His green eyes match the light green on his tail, and his hair matches his underside.

The naga replies with another laugh, leans down, and pokes my nose. “Well, I am! And you guys must be curious humans, huh? There haven’t been any here in quite a while!”

My brain is still trying to process how large he is. He’s longer than four of me together. An intrusive wanting of touching his tail pops up in my mind. Seriously!? I JUST saw him and want to touch him? What the everloving FUCK mind!?

He looks at our backpacks. “Ooh! Ya guys stayin’ for a few days? That’s great! You guys can tell me more about your place!” Mina wasn’t kidding about them seeming to be friendly. “Those bags seem heavy, would you like me to help?”

I shake my head. “Nah, we got it. Do you know a place we could set up a camp though?” I ask him. He nods enthusiastically. “Yeah! There’s a pretty good open area by my cave!” He takes a sharp left turn with his body a little ways ahead of us.

We all look at each other and shrug. He seems friendly enough. Well, Katsuki is the only one still not on board with being around the naga. The naga could be faking, but he seems pretty genuine. My bet is it just hurts Katsuki’s pride he wouldn’t be able to take the naga down himself if a fight breaks out. He’d still try though knowing him.

The naga kept stopping and looking behind to make sure we were following. Most of us were falling a bit behind since he was still rather fast despite his constant stopping. It must have been about twenty minutes until we got into a clearing with a giant cave next to it. Denki is breathing rather heavily. He throws off his backpack and faceplants into the soft dirt. We all laugh at him, even the naga. Throwing my backpack off, I roll my already stiff shoulders. Man, how do hikers keep those giant backpacks on for so long?

I look over at Katsuki. Once again, the all-powerful man doesn’t even need to do that. “Dude, I seriously envy you sometimes.” He rolls his eyes. “You’re just weak, dumbass. You’re also not used to it.”

“Hey, hey, hey! No need to be talkin’ like that! We’re all friends!”

Katsuki’s face goes into a snarl. “You can’t tell me what to do, you fucking overgrown lizard.” The naga has an astonished facial reaction for a second. “Sorry about him, he’s always like this.” Eijiro sheepishly informs.

He shakes his head, and grows a smirk. “Well, good thing you’re all used to it! I gotta say, haven’t been called an overgrown lizard before! Also, shouldn’t it be ‘an overgrown reptile’?” He goes up to Katsuki and starts poking his forehead. “What other so-clever names ya got hidden up in there?” Katsuki tries to bite his finger, making him quickly pull his hand away. “Feisty!~”

“We all kinda have a nickname he gives us. Mine’s shitty hair, but uh, please just call me Eijiro! What’s yours by the way?” He questions.

His eyes widened. “Right! Name’s Hizashi! Ya probably heard of me at some point!” We all look confused at each other. “Nope, sorry, that name doesn’t ring any bells.” He grew sad for a moment about that, and mumbled something.

I decided to try bringing him out of… whatever he’s getting into. “Mine is Y/N. The crabby one is Katsuki, the other blond is Denki, the pink-haired is Mina, and the black-haired one is Hanta. We may not have heard of you, but maybe you could tell us about yourself after we set up camp? As long as you’re truly okay with that.” I say, a little concerned we might still be intruding on his territory.

“I’d love to! And of course you guys can stay around here for a while! It’s probably better since some nagas don’t like humans too much.” Katsuki crosses his arms. “Well, I dare them to take me on.” Hizashi pinches his cheek for a second, only to be nearly bitten again. “Aw, like ya could do much harm to us! Your enthusiasm is great though! They’d easily crush you.”

“Oh yeah? Well, I’m not going down without a fight.” I roll my eyes at him. The others snicker at my reaction. “Anyways, we’re burning daylight. Let’s set up camp, and maybe our new friend could show us around a bit.”

He mock bows. “Gladly, your highness!” Mina snickers and whispers “I ship it” jokingly. I give her a “really bitch?” look, making her almost keel over in silent laughter. It doesn’t take long for us all to take out our things and start setting up the tents. I pull out my rolled up sleeping bag to place next to the tent. “Yellow, huh?” Questions Hizashi. He gets a far-off look in his eyes for a second. I look down at the giant obnoxious yellow sleeping bag in my hands.

“Not my choice of color, but it was on sale for a really good price, so I thought I might as well. Is there something wrong with it?” I ask.

He shakes his head. “No, not at all! It just reminds me of another human that came here a while ago!” There was a look in his face that almost seemed obsessed. None of the others noticed the possibly red flag. Mina was too busy goofing off with Hanta and Denki, which were having trouble setting up their tent. Eijiro was trying to help Katsuki, but he kept messing Katsuki up, making him get multiple smacks on his head.

“Is it okay to ask what happened to him?” His face turns into a harsh glare. It was easy to tell it wasn’t directed at me. “His “friends” took him from me when he left my cave one night. I waited years for him to return, but he never did. They must not be letting him return!” His tone went from angry, to sad, back to angry.

Something doesn’t seem to add up with that. If he really wanted to return, he would have visited a while ago. Then again, it was pretty hard finding a boat to bring us here, and life can get hectic quite easily. I decided to put it in the back of my mind and focus on the now.

The sound of tazing brought my attention to Denki, Mina, and Hanta. Mina has an electronic flyswatter in her hand, and smacked Denki with it. “Mina! That’s not what that’s for!” I yell at her.

She laughs. “Come on, it’s not hurting him too badly!”

“Easy for you to say! How about I zap you now!?” He swipes it from her and smacks her forearm with it, making her shriek.

I facepalm. “Which one of you idiots brought the flyswatter?” Hanta and Mina point at Denki. I glare at Mina. “What were you doing digging in his backpack when you could have been helping me put up the damn tent?” She replies with an embarrassed smile.

I’m struggling to keep the tent up and push the tent pegs into the ground without a hammer. “I can help ya! What should I do?” Hizashi asks. “Could you help me push these in?” He nods and I move out of the way to hold the tent tight. He slams the tip of his tail on the peg, pushing it all the way down in one go. It honestly startles me. “Jeez dude! A little warning would be nice!”

He rubs his neck sheepishly. “Sorry!” As we do the other three pegs, I can’t stop looking at his tail. He seems to notice, and wags the tip of it. “Like what ya see?” He teases. I look away in embarrassment. “Don’t worry about it! I was kinda the same way the first time I saw one of your kind!” He puts his tail in front of me. “I can tell you wanna touch it. Go ahead!”

I’m unsure about it, but place my hand gently on the top of his tail. It was the back of it closer to his human torso. Nothing but raw muscle, and the heat it radiated was phenomenal. I quickly take my hand away.

“You two are getting along well quick! And to think you didn’t want to come Y/N!” Mina comes up and teases. Hizashi seems surprised by hearing that news. “Aw, good thing ya did though! It’s already fun having you guys around!”

“Yeah, yeah. Enough of that stupid cheesy talk or whatever. Show us around.” Katsuki says half-heartedly like he really doesn’t want to be here. Hizashi ignores his lack of enthusiasm and nods with a smile. He then starts to move his body to the right of us.

---------------------------------------------------------

A few hours after, we arrive back to our camp exhausted. The sun was close to setting. Even Katsuki’s breathing was slightly ragged. We’ve learned a lot about this place. Mostly not many nagas are too open to humans, and there aren’t that many due to most being quite territorial as well as females being rather rare. The four of them were horrified learning we could have met a bad end. Katsuki and I called it that they wouldn’t be too friendly.

There is also the giant pile of wood he’s been collecting in case any humans visit. That’s so nice of him. He told us it gets pretty boring since not many talk to him, even the others on the other side of the giant island. That makes me feel rather bad for him. Of course, Mina being Mina, hugged him then. He returned the hug with no objections. He also told us the lifespan of nagas can be an average of 800 years. He himself is only about 300 years old. We all almost fainted from the shock of that.

He helps haul a ton of rather large pieces of wood and sticks next to his cave. The pile was a bit farther out so it wasn’t in his way of his cave. Katsuki starts setting up the fire with a bunch of giant rocks that Hizashi still has around. It takes him no time at all to start a good fire.

“Way to go dude! Knew you had the skills!” I tease. He glares at me in a way that shows he’s dangerously close to smacking me. I only give him a smirk in return. “Of fucking course, dumbass. Why would I not?” I shrug in reply.

“Hey, you guys want marshmallows? I brought a few bags.” Hanta says, grabbing a bag of marshmallows out of his backpack, along with two short roasters that can extend.

“Sure dude, pass me the bag. I’d rather eat them not roasted.” Denki informs. Hanta passes him the bag while he extends the roasters and passes one to Eijiro. After Denki opens the bag, Hizashi reels away a little bit, catching my attention.

“You alright?” I ask him. “Heh, yeah! Those things just smell a little too sweet for me, ya know?” I nod in understanding.

“Oh yeah, I guess it would be pretty weird, huh?” Mina wonders aloud.

“Would you like us to put them away?” I ask. Denki hugs the bag of marshmallows to his chest. Hizashi shakes his head. “Nah, I’ll be fine. Thanks for being so considerate though!”

After a bit, we decided to tell scary stories. The cheesy usual thing to do. Hizashi seems rather invested in every story told, no matter how bad it is. Right now, Mina is saying hers, and it’s actually pretty good. It’s about a male serial killer that fell obsessed with a male victim of his. The male refused to be with the killer for the obvious reason of them being a killer, and that they’re not interested in men. They were able to escape the chains the killer put them in, and picked up a large piece of a broken mirror that was near him. He decided to give the killer the element of surprise by pretending to still be chained.

“And so, while the killer’s back was turned, the male plunges the glass through the killer’s back!” she brings her hands up for some sort of dramatic emphasis. “They ran towards the still-chained other person and helped them pull the chains free while keeping an eye on the killer who fell to the ground. The man knew the killer was still alive, there was no way they died that quick. He helps the victim pass the killer and tries to pass himself, only to be grabbed by the ankle by the killer! He was still weak though, so it was easy enough for the man to break free and run outside. Luckily for them, they were in a neighborhood with a house not far away.”

We’re all honestly at the end of our seats listening intently. Well, minus Denki who seems rather terrified. Hizashi has an unreadable expression.

“The neighbors were terrified, but called the police for help. The only problem?... There was no body on the floor when the police investigated. There was only blood. To make things scarier, the blood belonged to someone not in the system.” She grows quiet.

“Is that it?” Denki questions.

She shakes her head. “The man knew the killer would come for him again. He moved to the other side of the country. Everything seemed fine for him years later, starting his own family and moving on. At least, until he came home from work one night to a rather quiet home. He enters the home to the copper smell of blood overpowering him, bringing back memories he’s tried so hard to forget. He turns on the light to see his wife in her own blood, his blood freezing in fear. The familiar voice of the killer whispers behind him “You want a family? Well, now we can be.” and the last thing he saw was his children with nothing but fear tied up on the couch in the living room.”

I was in shock that she said a story so dark. “Damn Mina, that was a wicked story! Where did you learn such a story?” I ask.

“It was actually from a book a friend told me about!”

“They sure have a shitty taste in books.” Katsuki quips.

“Like yours is probably much better, little boy scout.” I sarcastically reply. His fists clench.

“Uh, hey! Maybe we should all go to bed! We have another big day tomorrow of exploring.” Eijiro pipes up, trying to prevent Katsuki from doing anything drastic. Katsuki growls and stomps off to his and Eijiro’s tent.

Mina lets out a big yawn herself, stretches, and goes towards our tent. Denki and Hanta go to their tent as well. Hizashi puts a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, uh… Would ya mind hanging out with me for a while yet?”

I shrug. “Sure, just let me get my sleeping bag.” I go and get it, Mina giving me a teasing smirk. “Don’t you get those thoughts in your head.”

I drag the sleeping bag over close to the still burning fire. It grows quiet between us for a bit, the only sound being the crackling of the fire and the chirping of the crickets. His tail wraps around the bottom of my sleeping bag, trapping me from moving if I decided to by being around my feet. I reach down and pat his tail.

“So, is there anything you want to talk about now?” I ask, lowering my voice to a near whisper so the others could sleep. “Well, how long are you guys planning on staying?”

“After this, three days. We couldn’t get them to change the amount of days. It was so odd and hard getting here.” Hizashi perks up at that information. “Anyways, what are we doing tomorrow?” I ask.

“Ooh! There’s a waterfall not too far from here I think you and your friends will like! It’s kinda hidden, and we’ll have to be careful since it will be close to two of my kinds territories, but as long as we don’t do anything it shouldn’t be a problem. One of them is the other most friendly naga I know! He may even come say hi!”

“I bet Mina will be happy about that.” I felt more of his tail stealthily trying to go farther on my legs.

“You’re really not being stealthy you know,” His tail stops. “Sorry. I just can’t help but wanting to touch someone as cute as you!~”

Heat rushed to my face. “Well, you can hug me if you want. You just had to ask.”

He didn’t have to be told twice before his tail wrapped more around my sleeping and his bare torso went against my back. This isn’t exactly what I had in my head, but I did say hug. He’s still rather warm to the point of it slightly going through my sleeping bag. “How are you still so warm?”

“This place usually doesn’t get that cold. My body’s most likely used to that.”

“Makes sense I guess.”

-------------------------------------------------

I wake up to feeling something tight around me, and whispering. I can’t move my arms either. It’s obviously Hizashi. “Katsuki bro, you don’t have to do anything! He’s not hurting them.”

“I don’t fucking care. There’s something about that damn thing that isn’t sitting right!”

“Aw, you truly care about-” Denki starts. He suddenly stops.

“You’re probably just overreacting. We’ve only been here not even a full day. He’s still pretty friendly.” Eijiro sounds almost desperate.

“That’s the thing you fucking dumbasses! Did you not hear him last night with Y/N? It’s not fucking-”

“Well, mornin to you guys too!” Hizashi suddenly pipes up, silencing all of them. Ugh, it’s too early. I groan and nuzzle closer into his tail in front of me. I don’t feel like opening my eyes to look at them.

Hizashi laughs. “Morning to you as well!”

I felt someone get close to me besides Hizashi. “Mina, I swear if you touch me with that fly swatter…” She steps away, confirming my prediction. “How did you know?”

“You dumbasses are known for doing such stupid things. Not really a surprise.” Katsuki replies. “Aw, Katsuki, you don’t have to be so mean about it!” Denki jokes.

“Shut up guys. It’s too early.” I grumble.

“Early? The sun is already half way to its highest point!” Hizashi replies with a teasing tone. I only reply with a groan again.

Hanta clears his throat. “So, uh… What are we doing today?”

“I already told Y/N last night, but we’re going to a waterfall today!”

“A waterfall? How did we not hear it on our walk yesterday?” Eijiro asks. “Simple! It’s the other direction over a cliff!” he states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “C-cliff? Isn’t that dangerous?” Denki asks.

“We will be fine! I’ve done it many times before!”

“If you say so…” Eijiro replied, sounding quite unsure.

Hizashi unwraps around me almost reluctantly. He rubs the top of my head, waking me up a bit. “C’mon, ya gotta get up so we can go Y/N!” I ignore them and try to sleep again, using my arms as a pillow since Hizashi is no longer by my head.

“Tzzt” Something touched my arm and sent a sharp pain through my arm. I instantly knew what it was, and I am NOT happy. I get up instantly. “Minaaaa!”

“Oh shit!” She drops the electric fly swatter and takes off running behind Hizashi.

Denki and Hanta start laughing. “Get her Y/N!!!” Hizashi blocks me with his hands and holds Mina by his tail while chuckling. It wasn’t light like usual though. This sounded slightly darker if that makes sense. All I know is it sent a chill up my spine. I glare hard at Mina.

“Now, I know whatever that thing was woke ya up, but let’s not focus on that, and let’s get going to the waterfall, yeah? If you want, I could carry you for a bit more sleep!” I back away in embarrassment. “That’s okay. Let’s just get going then.”

He laughs normally again and lets go of Mina.

----------------------------------------------------

It didn’t take too long to start climbing the cliff to the waterfall. The crashing waves of it is able to be heard in the distance. Hizashi is leading the way with us rather close. It’s getting rather narrow and crumbling with a really high view in front of us. It’s beautiful with the trees, but terrifying how one step can make you fall off the edge. More ground crumbles under my shoe. My foot is basically off the edge at this point. I look up at Hizashi. I’m right beside him while the others are a bit back. “This seems like a bad idea. I think this is more-” My foot slips and I start to fall. My heart feels like it stopped. “Shit!”

“Y/N!” they all yell. Faster than someone can even blink, Hizashi’s tail wrapped around my torso before I got too far down the cliff. I look down to see a very deep drop that would obviously kill me, but what was even more concerning was the naga looking up at me. It has to be twice the size of Hizashi.

Hizashi kept a very tight grip on my torso as my legs shakily kept trying to give out as he had me stand up. We all stopped for a moment. “That’s it, fuck the waterfall. This isn’t worth going for.” Katsuki says, even more angry than usual.

I can feel Hizashi shaking as well. “Heh, that was not a part of the plan. We’ll be going down towards the waterfall soon. I’ll see if Toshinori would let me bring you guys through his territory on the way back.”

“Well, why didn’t we do that in the first place!? Y/N could have died!” Eijiro exclaims. “I’ll admit, I thought the fear would be funny. Definitely not now!”

He kept me closer to him as we went down the cliff. It felt better the closer the even ground came to be. The giant naga I saw earlier comes fast into our view. He has a bright golden tail that matches his hair. The most obvious part of him is a giant scar on his side. His eyes show great concern. “Are you all okay!? I saw what happened a bit ago,” His eyes squinted at Hizashi. “And I TOLD you to stop taking that way with visitors!”

Hizashi replies with a teasing roll of his eyes, but it’s showing that he understands and does regret taking that route. “Very shaken up, but fine I think.” I reply. It wasn’t until now I noticed how the waterfall is much louder. He nods. “That’s a relief. I take it you’re going to the waterfall?”

We nodded. Mina quickly goes up to him. ‘Hey, what’s your name by the way? Mine’s Mina!”

He grows a kind and friendly smile on his face. “Toshinori. Nice to meet all of you. We haven’t had any humans visit in quite a while.” In quite a while? So people DID used to come here. That’s making the unnerving feeling rise up again. Something must have happened to make them stop coming. But what could it possibly be? These two are friendly. Is it because they might be the only ones that are friendly? Maybe he’d know. I could ask Hizashi, but something feels like that’s a bad idea.

Mina suddenly pulls out a camera. “You brought a camera?” I asked. “Well, duh! I forgot earlier if I could take pictures of them, but seeing the one even bigger than Hizashi reminded me!” she looks up at Toshinori. “Could we take some pictures to show my other friends?” he perks up at that. “Why, of course! Why not wait until we get to the waterfall? We could do a group one!”

Mina fist-bumps the air. “Yes! In front of the waterfall would be a GREAT view! Let’s go!”

The rest of us told our names to him, well, Eijiro did for Katsuki again, on our way to the waterfall. Hizashi still hasn’t let go of me. Toshinori’s brows seem to crease in worry about that. I pat his tail twice. “Uh… Hizashi? Could you let me go now?” He does reluctantly. Mina giggles again. I decide to ignore it. The waterfall was finally in view, making the others grow more excited. Toshinori was farther ahead with the others.

Now would probably be a good time to ask Toshinori a few things. “Why don’t you go ahead with my friends for a bit? I want to ask Toshinori a few things I’d like him to answer personally if he can.” He almost seems to go on guard after hearing that, but makes himself relax. “What about? Ya gonna talk about me?” He teases.

“No! Of course not! I want to hear the story about that crazy scar on his side.” I lie. The scar might be interesting, but there are more important things at the moment. He seems unsure of my answer, but nods and heads up to lead the way.

“I need to ask you a few things.” He looks down at me. “Is it about my scar?” I shake my head. “No, I want to know if you know why no humans want to come here lately.” He looks at Hizashi, who I can swear started moving more slowly, then back to me. He nods.

“Do you know why humans no longer want to come to the island?” His smile disappears. “To prevent you from being afraid, all I will say is it’s safer for you to leave the island sooner than later.”

My face scrunches up in frustration and confusion. “That doesn’t make sense! Why though? What could be here you guys couldn’t help us from?”

“At least a little more information, dumbass.” Katsuki pipes up from behind me. Toshinori shakes his head and goes back to the others. I look beside me to see Katsuki crossing his arms. “I still don’t trust these overgrown lizards. Especially now.”

“You and I both. Well, I trust they aren’t going to kill us, but I don’t trust they’re not telling us what they should.”

“It’s good we’re staying here two less days.” I look at him confused. “What do you mean?”

“I told them to make it two less days, or when we get back I’d make their lives hell. I wanted to be here the least amount possible.”

“Are you sure they’ll listen? They might leave us here if you threatened them.” He grew a sadistic smirk. “Kyoka is making sure.” I shake my head while smiling at him. “Always the ever-clever one, huh?”

“Someone has to be since you dumbasses sure won’t.” I roll my eyes at him again. “Can’t argue with that.

Nerd.” I take off running to catch up without looking back, afraid of being smacked if caught. “Y/N!!!” He angrily screams, and it’s easy to tell he’s running after me. “Hahahaha!” I ran past Hizashi. His tail slams down between Katsuki and I. “Let’s save rough play for later, yeah?”

I pout. “Aw, Hizashi, you’re no fun!”

He pouts back. “No fun? I’m PLENTY of fun! C’mere!” He wiggles his fingers, signifying what he’s going to do. I shriek and jump away, but with no success since he's faster and uses his tail to get me stuck in place.

“That’s enough Hizashi.” Toshinori harshly says, and takes me out of Hizashi’s grip, keeping his body closer to mine so Hizashi can’t.

The others seem confused by Toshinori’s reaction, but shake it off. Katsuki glares harder at the two nagas. I decide to ignore everything and look at the waterfall. It’s really high up and beautiful. I stop. “Hey, wouldn’t this be a good area for the picture? We could get a large portion of the waterfall in it!”

Mina quickly takes out her camera again from her pocket. “Yes! Let’s do it!” We get situated. Toshinori is on my right with Eijiro and Mina. Katsuki stays close on my left with Hizashi next to him, with Hanta and Denki unnecessarily crouching in front of him and doing the peace sign. Toshinori grabs the camera with his tail and is able to hold it out to hopefully show all of us in it. No doubt Katsuki isn’t going to smile in it.

He took a few, and they all turned out great. We then wander close to the bottom of the waterfall where there’s a rather slow stream that goes half way up my calves. I know since we all took our shoes off and entered the shallow stream with the nagas not too far away just in case. While the others are messing around and throwing water at each other, I saw a really cool looking rock a bit farther in the water. It’s in a bit deeper water though… I could possibly ask someone to help. Nah. I look over to see Hizashi being busy talking with Toshinori. It doesn’t seem too friendly whatever they’re talking about judging by their movements. Katsuki is fairly close to them without them realizing, and he doesn’t seem happy with whatever he’s hearing. His face is crunched even more than usual.

I look down towards the rock again and reach for it. The water goes up past my shoulder, getting my shirt wet. The current in that part is much stronger, almost making me lose my balance. My hand touches it, and I try to bring it up. It’s rather stuck in the ground. I firmly grip it and yank it. It comes free, kicking up a lot of dirt with it. Rinsing it in the water a bit more, it came out clean and was a rather large agate. It’s the size of my palm. A really cool one with multiple lines in it too. I dry it a bit on the bottom of my shorts and put it in my pocket.

---------------------------------------------------------

The day went by rather quickly until we returned to our camp. Toshinori didn’t come with us, much to Mina’s dismay. We definitely got some kind of sunburn today. Denki looks like he’s gotten the worst of it. Katsuki nearly slapped him until I prevented it. I’d rather not hear how loud he can scream in pain.

We didn’t feel like doing stories tonight. “Ugh, after this, I don’t think I’m ever going outside again.” Denki complains. “You will, even if I have to drag you.” Katsuki threatens. “Aw, big old buff boy truly does have a heart for us!” I tease. He harshly slaps my shoulder. “Point taken.” I say in a bit of pain. “You shouldn’t hurt your friends like that.” Hizashi pipes up being next to me on my right. Katsuki ignores him. “Forgot to mention, the boat will be here tomorrow to pick us up.” Hizashi tenses up.

“How do you know that?” Hanta asks. “It’s Katsuki, how else?” I reply. “But we’re having so much fun here! And Hizashi has helped tell me so much about nagas!” Mina whines. “True. well, it was fun while we were here though!” I look at Hizashi. “Thanks for that!” He nods. “Of course!” Something didn’t feel too genuine or enthusiastic with his answer. I heard Hanta snoring. He must have passed out not too long ago.

Eijiro yawns. “Man, today sure was fun though! Hopefully we can come back some day!” Katsuki and I share a look. “Yeah! It’s hard to find a boat to take us though, so it might be a while.” I inform, trying my hardest to not give away that we won’t be coming back.

“Hey, Katsuki, could you bring Hanta to our tent? I can’t carry him.”

“No. The dumbass fell asleep out here, he can stay out here.” Eijiro rolls his eyes at him. “I’ll do it.” He gets up and bridal carries Hanta to the tent with Denki following. Mina goes to ours. Katsuki pulls me close. “Don’t trust that fucking naga. Stay away from him.” He hisses, gets up, and goes to his tent. What was that about? He hasn’t been wrong before though, so it might be best to listen. It stayed silent for a while after Eijiro went to his tent and most likely everyone was asleep.

I put my hands in my pockets and felt the rock. “I want to give you something to remember us by when we leave,” I take out the rock and give it to him. Something glinted in his eyes and he took it and cupped it with both hands like it was the most fragile thing in the world. A feeling is telling me I just made a big mistake. Why though? It’s just a rock? “It’s not much, but maybe you’ll like its memories?”

“I’ll definitely treasure it!” his voice becomes more quiet. “Just like I’ll always treasure you.” He means like everything we’ve done the past two or so days, right?

“Well, goodnight Hizashi!” I say, and go towards Mina and I’s tent. “Could we please do the same thing as last night? As a parting gift or something? It will get so lonely again.” His tone became rather saddened. I almost gave in on pity for him. I remember Katsuki’s words though, and try to think of an excuse. Right! Sunburn! “Sorry Hizashi. I really don’t want to be touched tonight, especially with this sunburn. That will hurt.”

“Maybe the cold of my cave could help with that! Why don’t we try that?” He sounds desperate. Him being desperate sends off another red flag in my head.

“Sorry. I’d rather be alone tonight.” I say and enter my tent, zipping it up.

He must have given up since he goes quiet after that. It doesn’t take long after that for sleep to start to overtake me.

...Did the zipper just open? I was too tired to check. It’s most likely nothing.

#yandere present mic #x reader #yandere present mic x reader #quirkless au #naga present mic #yandere naga present mic

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cocastyle · 4 years

Text

Robin — Prologue

Pairing - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 2,756

A/N - and here is the prologue! this series is going to be so much fun and I hope everyone enjoys it as much as me! comment how you think it’s going so far and any theories you think may happen during the series!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

R O B I N

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹ PROLOGUE ◃:✮.❃⭒

"I didn't really have your typical upbringing. I mean, I did at first, but then the world ended. I mean, I don't think anyone was really shocked. We always thought it might, and then it just finally happened. But how it happened, now that's where it gets interesting."

"Agatha 616."

"Hey! I wanted to be the one to say that. You totally just stole my thunder, Robin. As disappointing as that just was, she's right. Yep, an asteroid heading straight for Earth. I know. So obvious. So, humanity came together, and we did what we do best."

"We shot a bunch of rockets at it!"

"And we blew it up! And it was great!"

"But it wasn't."

"Once again, she's right. You see, the thing that makes rockets rockets. . .chemical compounds, a lot of 'em. Which rained back down on us, and everything changed."

"And by 'everything,' he means cold-blooded creatures. And by 'changed,' he means mutated and started eating us to death."

"Ants, lizards, roaches, crocodiles. You name it. There's a lot of 'em. Actually, we knew this one kid who was eaten in his sleep by a goldfish he won at a carnival."

"Poor Todd."

"He loved that goldfish."

"And that cat of his that got eaten."

"Rest in piece, buddy. So, for most of human history, if you wanted to kill a cockroach, right, all you needed was a shoe. Well, suddenly you needed a shotgun. And sometimes even a tank. And sometimes even that doesn't work. Especially if you don't stay in the tank, Bob."

"Bob?"

"I was just saying a random name. I don't know if his name is actually Bob."

"Then why—?"

"Y/N."

"Right. Your speech, not mine. Sorry."

"Eventually, the really big creatures and our military took each other out. We lost 95% of the human population in about a year. That's a lot of Bobs."

"And a lot of Todds."

"Exactly. Those of us who survived we hid anywhere we could — bunkers, caves, panic rooms, all around the world. So for the last seven years Y/N and I have been living in an underground bunker. And it's not as bad as it sounds. Really. It's a great group of people, and we all love each other. You know, it's kinda what I imagined college would have been like."

"Definitely not, but believe what you want. Anyways, like Joel said, we've been living in an underground bunker for the past seven years. It's not always been the best at times, but we do what we need to in order to survive. But for you to understand our story, we need to go back to the beginning. . .to the day it all happened."

"Seven years ago, back when we were sixteen."

- - -

Seven Years Ago

Fairfield, California

The last thing Y/N wanted was to wake up at 5:30 on a summer morning, yet that was exactly what happened on the day the world ended. The annoying beeping sounds filling the air were all Y/N could focus on as she came to, her eyes squeezing shut as she groaned in annoyance and shoved her face into the pillow she was laying on.

She lazily shot her hand out and attempted to reach for her alarm clock, but hesitated when her hand hit what she knew to be the lamp that sat on the table in her living room. Y/N let out a sigh before slowly opening her eyes and looking around. It took a moment for her to realize what was happening, but once she saw the tv that was still on, the pizza box laying on the table with only one slice left, and the figure beside her on the couch Y/N knew what had happened.

Groaning as she looked towards her best friend Joel Dawson who had passed out on the couch beside her, the girl lifted up a pillow before saying, "Joel. Joel, wake up." The boy didn't respond, the only noise escaping his lips being the sound of his own snores. His watch was beeping on his arm, but he didn't seem to be fazed by it.

Y/N frowned before taking the pillow she had picked up and whacking Joel with it. The boy jumped in surprise and fell off the couch and onto the floor. Y/N fell back with a satisfied sigh while Joel groaned on the ground.

"What was that for?" Joel complained, lazily sitting up and rubbing at his eyes while the two looked tiredly at each other.

"Shut that stupid watch up before I do it myself," Y/N murmured. "And by 'do it myself' I mean I'm going to destroy that little fucker so it can never beep again."

Joel cracked a small smile at that before looking down at his watch and turning it off. His eyes flickered over the time and he frowned. "It's 5:30 in the morning? Wasn't it just midnight?" he asked.

"I think we fell asleep during the middle of Civil War. That's what we get for trying to watch all the Marvel movies in a row with no sleep," she said with a yawn as she closed her eyes once again.

"We were behind anyways," Joel pointed out as he pulled himself up off of the ground and back onto the couch so that he could put on his shoes. "We wouldn't have finished before I had to leave. Speaking of which, I've got to go. Aimee should be picking me up soon and I smell like pizza and tears."

"It's not my fault you cry during almost every movie," Y/N retorted.

"They're just so good!" Joel argued making Y/N smile softly as she let her eyes open up long enough to admire the boy. He was tying his last shoe, so didn't seem to notice as she slowly ran her eyes over the features of his face. However, the moment he was sitting back up, Y/N closed her eyes to make it seem like she wasn't watching him.

Joel looked towards her and stared at her for a moment before smiling and reaching out for the blanket that was already falling off of her and onto the floor. He picked it up and shook off the crumbs from the food they had eaten before laying it on top of the girl.

"Why do you have to leave?" Y/N whispered, opening her eyes up a bit while Joel finished fixing the blanket and kneeled onto the ground in front of her. He leaned against the edge of the couch so that the two could be face to face. The lack of distance was enough to make Y/N’s heart skip a beat, but she knew Joel wasn't thinking anything of it.

"I'm just going to go see Aimee for a little bit so that we can watch the sunrise. I'll be back after, okay?" Joel said. Y/N studied him for a moment before nodding her head. The boy grinned and pulled away to get up onto his feet again. "You try and catch up on some z's while I'm gone." Y/N nodded again and Joel leaned down to press a quick kiss to her forehead, an action that made the girl close her eyes in a moment of pure bliss. "I'll be back soon, Robin."

Y/N smiled softly at the nickname Joel had given her. He liked to refer to themselves as Batman and Robin and seeing as he had insisted he was Batman in their friendship, Joel had grown to call her Robin so much over the years that it now flowed off of his tongue naturally. Y/N had never bothered arguing with Joel about who was actually Batman, instead relishing in the way Joel would flash her that goofy grin of his when he called her Robin.

Y/N got too lost in her thoughts to notice Joel walking away until she heard the sound of the front door opened and closed. She opened her eyes for a moment, her heart sinking slightly as she thought about how Joel was leaving to be with his girlfriend Aimee. However, not wanting to dwell on the fact for too long, Y/N just closed her eyes and willed herself to go back to sleep.

Even after she fell asleep, her dreams were filled of nothing but her best friend who she had found herself falling for more and more since the second grade. Not that she was complaining. This was what her life usually was like. Y/N secretly pining over Joel while he dated other girls. It was hard to see, but Y/N knew that as long as he was happy, she would be happy even if it meant they didn't end up together.

Y/N slept for quite a while, hoping she would wake up to Joel returning and hopping back onto the couch with her. However, what she wasn't expecting was for the sound of an explosion to send her jolting off the couch while her whole house shook around her.

The girl fell to the ground with a groan, but her eyes shot open wide as the ground shook again and another explosion filled the air. "What-?" she whispered before slowly pulling herself up off of the floor and looking out the window. Her eyes widened at the sight of fire in the horizon and she felt a surge of panic wash over her as she heard the screams of people filling the air as families started running out of their houses.

"Mom! Dad!" Y/N called out, her parents running down the stairs not too long after that with their pajamas still on and their eyes still fighting away the sleep that had taken over them only a couple of moments before.

Y/N could barely process what was happening after that. The next thing she knew, they were all dressed and throwing their stuff into their car. Her parents were running around and arguing over what they actually needed, so the brunette took the time to look next door where Joel's house stood. Her eyes flickered over the scene, attempting to find her best friend but only seeing his parents.

"Y/N!" Mrs. Dawson exclaimed as she caught sight of the girl. She frantically ran across the yard to her, her hands grabbing onto Y/N’s arms as she asked, "Where's Joel? Where—Where is he?"

"I-I don't know," Y/N admitted, her eyes wide with panic as she still tried to process what was happening. "He left to go see Aimee earlier this morning. He didn't tell me where they went."

Mrs. Dawson frowned and was just about to say something more when a red jeep came barreling down the road and stopped in front of the house. Mrs. Dawson released Y/N immediately while the girl let out a sigh of relief as she saw Joel stumble out of the car.

"I'm sorry!" Joel exclaimed, barely getting his feet onto the ground before Y/N was running at him and practically jumping into his arms for a hug. Joel didn't hesitate to hug her back, his grip tight as he looked towards his mother.

"Thank God! Where have you been, Joel?" his mother asked.

"We have to go right now. Say your goodbyes, get in the car," his father told them.

Y/N then seemed to noticed Aimee who was watching her warily as if she could see right through the girl's facade. She let go of Joel and squeezed his arm before nodding towards Aimee. "Go say goodbye to her. I'm going to finish packing up and then we can talk," she told him.

Y/N didn't give Joel time to respond before she was running back over to her house where her parents were now throwing the last of their things into the car. She helped toss a few more things into the car before closing the trunk with her father. "Go say goodbye, Y/N. We need to leave. Now," her father said causing Y/N to blink in surprise.

"Goodbye? Aren't we going with the Dawsons?" she asked.

"Honey, we don't know where we're going. Our priority is keeping you safe, not trying to stay with the Dawsons," her mother told her.

"But—" Y/N began.

"Y/N," her father sternly said. Y/N frowned slightly and then with a shaky breath turned to begin her way over to Joel who was staring after his girlfriend as she walked towards her jeep.

"Aimee!" he called out causing Y/N to slow down her steps as she caught sight of the look in his eyes. "I love you."

Y/N went rigid at that, the sound of Joel saying those words to someone else making her feel like she may be sick. Tears begin to spring in her eyes and she desperately tried to stop herself, but she couldn't help it. She knew Joel had dated other girls before, but hearing him proclaim his love for one was something she had never had to witness.

And it hurt.

"I love you too," Aimee told him.

"I'm gonna come find you," Joel assured her.

"You better," Aimee said before hopping into her jeep and driving away.

Y/N was still frozen in place, her tears now falling freely down her face while Joel looked her way. His heart broke at the sight of her and he didn't hesitate to run over and wrap her up in his embrace. "Hey, we're going to be okay," he whispered, thinking that her tears were because of them having to say goodbye and not because of the interaction he had just had with Aimee.

Y/N seemed to snap out of her trance at that and she gripped onto Joel tightly, her tears becoming worse as she realized this could potentially be the last time she saw her best friend. "Joel," she whimpered. "This can't be goodbye."

"Hey, hey," Joel said as he pulled away enough to wipe way her tears, his hands cupping the sides of her face. "It's not. We've survived everything together. I'm not about to let this stand in our way either. We're Batman and Robin, remember? We'll always find our way back to each other."

Y/N let her eyes flicker over Joel's face, a few more tears rolling down her cheeks before she held her hand out. "Batman," she said with a small nod.

"Robin," Joel whispered, nodding back at her as he clasped her hand with his own. They held onto each other tightly before Y/N hugged him one last time.

"I love you," she whispered, knowing very well that he didn't understand the true meaning of her words.

"I love you too. We'll find each other, okay?" he said before he noticed Y/N’s parents anxiously staring at the pair. Sighing, Joel squeezed her tight one last time before pulling away and leaning forward to press a small kiss to her forehead. "Bye, Robin." And then he gave her that small goofy smile of his that only made her heart ache more.

"Bye, Joel," she whispered, allowing herself to look at him one last time before turning and running to the car her parents were already climbing into. Y/N didn't dare look back, knowing that if she did it would only make it that much worse.

We're Batman and Robin, remember?

We'll always find our way back to each other.

- - -

"Long story short, I was right and we did find each other again. Granted it took two weeks, but—"

"Well, sorry. I didn't exactly have the colony there to pick me up when my parents died. I had to find you guys all on my own."

"And I see my mistake and I apologize. You did better than I ever could and I love you for it. You see, Y/N’s been my best friend since we were in kindergarten. Some jerk named Harley thought it would be funny to shove me off the swing set and take the swing from me. Y/N thought differently and punched him so hard he flew off the swing as if he had purposefully jumped off."

"I got sent to the principal's office right after, but I gained Joel as my best friend, so it wasn't a complete loss."

"We've been practically inseparable ever since and not even the apocalypse was able to keep us apart for too long."

"And now that you all know how our story began and a little bit about us, we can skip ahead to where we are now, seven years later in an underground bunker."

"This is where our story really begins.”

#love and monsters #love #and #monsters #joel dawson imagine #joel dawson #joel dawson x reader #dylan o’brien x reader #dylan o'brien #Aimee #Clyde #minnow #boy #apocalypse

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thiswasinevitableid · 3 years

Note

For the meet uglies, 41, Sternclay, NSFW?

Here you go! And if you're a fan on "Let me be good to you" this has very similar vibes.

41: I’m at the 24/7 gym at 2 in the morning and I thought I was alone so I’m singing in the showers, but when you start singing with me, I’m startled and slip so the first time we meet, we’re both wet and naked

Stern blames the playlist he had on at work for the fact his morning devolves into chaos. He works better to the blues (or 2000s pop hits, but those don’t feel right when going over files on suspicious incidents in Appalachia). So he hums as he rinses the remnants of his workout down the drain. He’d never sing where someone can hear, but since no one is here.

I want a little steam on my clothes

Maybe I could fix things up so they'll go

What's the matter daddy, come on, save my soul

He goes to rinse his hair and realizes the song is still going.

I need some sugar in my bowl, I ain't foolin'

I want some sugar in my bowl

His lizard brain yells two separate messages; “baritone voice very hot” and “oh god who’s there.”

The second message leaps into the driver seat and, in his attempt to turn, peer out of the stall, and be sure it’s just another patron, his foot finds the traces of soap on the floor.

“Shit” He falls backwards out of the stall, thudding to the floor.

“Oh fuck.” A man emerges two stalls to his left, soaking wet and flailing for a towel, “I’m so fucking sorry, I’m so used to singing along with the radio. Are you okay?”

Joseph scans his body, finds nothing broken, “Yes.”

“Thank god.” The other man flicks shaggy hair from his face. In the split second before he gets the towel around his waist, Joseph’s gym manners fail him and he glances down. At least he’s getting several weeks worth of masturbation fodder from this humiliating moment.

“Here man, lemme help you up.”

Joseph takes the offered hand, then grits his teeth and swiftly turns to grab his own towel from where he hung it. He’d rather not show a stranger his ass, but this is how his night is going. As he turns back, he spots the other man quickly redirecting his stare from his ass to the floor.

Once both showers are off, Joseph changes and packs his bag. The stranger is at the mirror, tying his hair back and combing his beard.

“I’m sorry, my singing probably startled you too.”

A shrug of broad shoulders, “I work in kitchens, I’m so used to background noise some of it barely registers. And I always have the radio on when it’s just me in the mornings.”

“Hence the singing along?”

“Yeah, and why I’m here so early. I try to get my exercise in before work. Gotta admit, when I joined this gym I didn’t expect anyone else would be in for a 2 a.m workout.”

“My hours are all over the place. I’m with the FBI and when I’m on a case I tend to, um, lose track of time. Or work way later than I should.” He shoulders his bag, raises his hand in a wave, “it was nice meeting you. Even it was alarming at first.”

“Same to you” the man smiles at him over his shoulders, “and if you’re ever here at zero dark thirty again and want a gym buddy, I’m happy to keep you company.”

--------------------------------------

It’s a month before Joseph runs into him again. He swipes his card at the gym, finds the clank of a weight rack in place of the usual silence. The man from the showers smiles at him as he puts his bag near medicine balls, and when he’s done with his set he crosses the 80s-colored carpet to join him.

“It’s much nicer to see you when I can see you coming.” Joseph smiles politely, not catching his own subtext until the other man blushes.

“No kidding. I, uh, this may sound weird, but could I work-out with you? I’ve been doing the same routine for years because it’s what I know, but it gets so fucking boring.”

“I wouldn’t mind the company, though be warned that I do a lot of core and don’t use the machines all that much.”

“Totally fine. I’m, uh, I’m Barclay, by the way.” He holds out his hand and Joseph pictures twisting it behind his back while pinning him over one of the benches.

Instead, he shakes it, “Joseph.”

-----------------------------------------

“I’m serious about skipping this if you need to” Joseph starts up the treadmill as Barclay jogs on the one beside him, “if you’re on your feet all day at work this could make that really uncomfortable.”

“Nah, I’ll be fine.”

It’s the truth; he may not be as in-shape as Joseph, but he’s still pretty fit, and they only do thirty minutes of running. But it’s equally true that he’d rather suffer some extra-sore legs than lose out on a half-hour of his limited time with his friend.

He’d been hoping for someone to spot him and maybe teach him some new lower body exercises, with the added bonus of having some basic things (like music taste and bonkers work schedules) in common. What he’s gotten is someone with a dorky sense of humor, and extensive knowledge of cryptozoology and mystery novels, and the stamina to make engaging conversation about those things while running or working a rowing machine.

It helps that Joseph is so hot that he could caramelize sugar just by looking at it. The glimpses he caught of him when they met were tantalizing; the way his dark hair gradually loosens from it’s gelled state, the way his cheeks turn pink when flushed and sweating, the few times his voice turns truly breathless? Barclay is ready to get on his knees and beg for him to do obscene things in the locker rooms.

What makes this desire impossible to shake is the suspicion that it’s shared. He’s caught Joseph looking at him in a way that isn’t just about his form, and when he shows Barclay a new exercise he stands closer and lingers longer than strictly necessary. And his Freudian slips are so frequent and obvious they may as well be Freudian nightgowns.

Just when he thinks Joseph can’t get any hotter, the agent texts him around their three month mark of working out together warning that he’ll be late. When he arrives, Barclay drops the five pound plate he was moving.

Joseph hasn’t changed clothes. He’s in a full, black suit, shined shoes, and a silver and blue tie that Joseph wants him to take off and loop around Barclays throat instead. The agent smiles with a promise to be right back, seems bemused when he returns to find Barclay in the exact spot and position he left him.

“You okay, big guy?” The nickname is one of the many ways he built a home for himself in Barclays daydreams.

“Uh. Uh, yeah, sorry, got lost in thought. I haven’t started on the full workout, did some extra stretching since I’m kinda tight from yesterday. You wanna do weights first?”

“Sure.”

Their routine lasts about an hour. It’s an act of god that Barclay gets through it unscathed. Joseph is even more hands-on than usual, and his cologne (bergamot and citrus, if Barclay has his scents right) hasn’t had a chance to fade. The most distracting element of the whole morning is his friend’s voice; there’s an edge to it, like a knife in a velvet sheath, and Joseph gives fewer suggestions and more orders.

Barclay wants him to sound like this forever. But only if he can rearrange his life so that he can follow every command.

After a very cold shower, he falls in next to Joseph as they push through the double doors into the warm night. When he reaches his car, the other man touches his cheek.

“Drive safe, big guy.”

He wonders if Joseph can feel him blush in the dark, “I will, agent. I promise.”

-----------------------------------------

“I told them to get those dark spots checked” Joseph shakes his head at the notice on the door informing them the gym will be closed for the next two weeks to repair massive water damage in the ceiling.

“I’m just bummed I won’t get to work out with you. It’s not as fun alone in my apartment.”

“You could come over to mine, if we can find a time where it works.”

“I’d love to.”

Barclay double checks that the address on the apartment in front of him matches the one Joseph sent, while trying not to fixate on the text that came with it.

Joseph: Be ready, big guy, I’m going to work you hard

He knocks on the designated door, pushes it open when Joseph calls for him to come in. There’s a yoga mat on the floor and a stationary bike in the corner, and far too little space for two grown men to work out together.

“Do you want me to help move the couch? That might give us...more...room.”

Joseph, in his full suit and dress shoes, leans against the kitchen doorway with a confident smile.

“Y-you’re not working out with me, are you?” Barclay’s hopes hurry to the front of his brain, tripping up his tongue.

“No. I did mine earlier today.” He runs a finger along Barclay’s chest, “I designed a special one, just for you. If you get through it all, you get a reward.”

“What kind?”

Joseph leans in to kiss him softly and swiftly, “I’ll let you fuck me.”

Barclay’s hands fly out to grips his shoulders as he groans, “fuck, babe, really?”

“Really. But first, you have to pick two things from this list.” He hands Barclay a sheet of memo paper with a neatly written list of the lewdest exercises he’s ever seen. He’d offer to do all of them, but then he might not have enough energy to enjoy his reward.

“The, uh, the push ups and the crunches.”

Joseph raises an eyebrow expectantly.

“Please?”

“Okay, big guy, we’ll do those. Get on the mat, push up position.”

Barclay hurriedly obeys. Freshly shined shoes step onto the top edge of the mat.

“We’ll just do thirty today. I’ll count. Ready?”

He nods.

“Good boy. Down, one”

Barclay bends his elbows, only stopping when his lips touch the top of Joseph’s shoes. He holds there a two-count, then rises.

“Down, two.”

He repeats the motion, keeps time with Joseph’s count as a hint of polish curls into his nose. It should be boring, maybe even degrading, but fuck him if it isn’t the hottest fucking thing he’s done in years. Joseph is so put together, so poised, Barclay feels like an unkempt beast next to him in his gym clothes. Yet he’s letting him kiss his lovingly shined shoes, telling him he’s a good boy as he works up a sweat.

“Down, thirty.” Joseph joins him on the floor as Barclay sits back on his heels, “well done. Now, on your back please.”

Barclay lays down. Joseph grabs a silver item from the side table and holds it in front of him. It takes his lust-glazed brain a second to grasp it’s a cock cage.

“Can I put this on you? You’ll have to wear it the rest of the workout.”

“Ohfuckplease.”

Joseph leans forward enough to kiss his chest, then shifts his shorts down to his thighs and locks the cage into place.

“If you need to stop, just say red. Okay?”

He nods frantically.

“Okay?” Joseph repeats with a stern look.

“Okay.”

“Good boy.” Joseph lifts his legs and sets them over his left shoulder. Barclay whimpers as there’s a snap of a latex glove and a pop of lube. Joseph smirks as Barclay whines at his teasing touches.

“Two sets, forty each. Go ahead and count in your head.”

“Okay” He curls his body, only gets through two more crunches before a finger presses in. “fuck!”

“Focus, big guy.” Joseph kisses his knee.

“I am, I’m focusing on the fact you’re a fucking genius.”

“If you lose count, you’ll have to start over” he presses in the second finger, “and that means longer until your reward.”

“I’m, I’m on twenty!”

A kiss to his calf, “Keep going.”

By the time he hits the second “forty” his legs are burning and Joseph is stretching his ass open with three fingers. He pulls them free but keeps Barclays legs in place, tugs the glove off and removes a blue, silicone plug from his jacket pocket . It slides in comfortably, but Barclay whimpers his name all the same.

“You’re doing so well Barclay. Are you ready to keep being my good boy?”

“Yes, please yes.”

Joseph sets his legs on the floor, guides him to his knees so he can pull his shorts up, and then helps him to his feet, pausing to kiss him sweetly and run his lips along his neck.

“Twenty minutes on the bike. Whatever speed you like.”

Barclay eases himself onto the seat, starts pedaling and watches longingly as Joseph heads into the kitchen saying he'll be back in a minute. The plug isn’t too uncomfortable to sit on, so this should be a breeze.

He hunches forward with a moan as it starts vibrating. Joseph strides back into the room, remote control in hand, only stopping to give Barclay another kiss and run his fingers through his hair before dropping onto the couch.

“Let me know when you’re done.” He picks up a copy of Empire and starts reading, heedless of Barclay’s increasingly loud moans.

The vibrator starts and stops, sometimes a gentle buzz and sometimes a furious pulse, and Barclay fights to keep the pedals going under the onslaught, desperate not to lose time and eager to please the man stealing tender, hungry glances at him from the couch.

“Time” He gasps, pulling his feet free from the pedals. Joseph is up and to him before his legs have a chance to wobble. Once he’s on the couch, shirt soaked with sweat, Joseph straddles him and kisses him demandingly, mouth moving from lips to cheek to neck without a care for sweat.

“Will you be a good boy and let me get off on you?”

“You know I fuckin will, fuck, babe, wanna be so fuckin good for youAH, ohgod” He throws his arms around Joseph, clinging and groping as he grinds on the cage and the aching cock within it.

“You look so good like this big guy, exhausted and obedient for me.”

“Yes, yesyes all for you, Joseph, please cum on me.”

“I will baby, don’t worry.” He brushes their lips together, “do you want some more kisses while I do.”

“Uhhuh” He whines, the noise only growing as Joseph kisses him and works his hips recklessly, his hands slipping up Barclays shirt to squeeze his pecs and toy with his nipples. When the tempo of his jerking hips changes, Barclay holds him tighter, needing to feel the way his body tenses and shudders as he cums more than he’s needed anything in his life.

“There” Joseph grins, panting, and pulls the key to the cage from his breast pocket, “now you can have your reward.” He slides to the floor, yanking Barclays shorts with him on the way. The cock cage hits the carpet and then a wet, enthusiastic mouth swallows him almost to the root.

“Ohfuck, Joseph, babe I’m gonna cum in like two seconds you, you might wanna-”

The agent pulls off, lazily licking the head, “I don’t want cum on the carpet, big guy. So be a good boy and cum down my throat.”

He gets exactly three and a half ecstatic thrusts into Joseph’s mouth before his orgasm knocks the breath from him and he cums, moaning out thanks as he does. When he’s spilled the last of it, Joseph sits back, breathing deep and wiping his lips.

“J-joseph? Will you, uh, will you kiss me again?”

The other man clambers into his lap, bitter taste on his tongue when Barclay glides his own against it. When he finally stops to breathe, Joseph pets his beard.

“Was all that okay?”

“So fucking okay. It was incredible. I, I feel so fucking good. Sweaty, but good.”

A kiss on the cheek, “Shower is just down that hall. Go get clean while I order dinner.”

“Okay.” Barclay looks at him with dreamy hope, “do you, uh, wanna do this again sometime?”

“Often. If, um, if that’s okay with you?”

Barclay nods, “as long as we can still work out together? I like doing that with you.”

“Of course, big guy.”

#sternclay #agent stern/ barclay #meet ugly #trans agent stern #taz amnesty

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scolopendress-tag · 3 years

Text

Have some Asra n Muriel disorganized headcanons: animal themed!

Asra's most likely to answer quetzal if you ask for his favourite bird (he had a close up encounter with one his first time in nopal and had never seen a bird like it so it's a special memory), but he also appreciates all others. He also loves dart frogs and his favorite reptile would of course be perfect lavender angel baby fictional fantasy pythons. I'd also see him loving dragonflies as well.

He will see literally any animal generally and always say "they're one of my favourites!", though. It doesn't matter how many times he's said it that day or how many animals he's said it about. It's almost without fail he'll point one out and say it's a favourite.

One of his favorite animals is always the one in front of him Right Now, as a quick reference.

Plus, he loves to point animals out on travels or when out and about Vesuvia, so get used to hearing it!

He may attempt to catch critters occasionally too, or just pick them up, these will be mostly bugs usually. He just likes to cup moths in his hand on occasion and the watch them flutter out and I think he should be allowed to! Or just cradle bugs in his palm and watch them walk around for a bit. If it's a reptile or amphibian somewhere it could get stepped on or dried out or eaten he will still scoop them up and carry them to the brush.

[Cont. after cut]

Nothing he ever handles seems to get too upset or stressed, even when it's an animal that otherwise would. They just seem to be more relaxed if it's Asra who's touching them. Sometimes reptiles just come up to him (or even crawl onto his hand, as a few lizards have,) curiously enough. Though they may still refuse to be touched even then, they're notably not bothered by his presence when for others they'd run away. It's not something Asra's ever noticed to be odd, nor would it be overly noticeable to most people, but it's definitely something you can recognize if you pay attention.

Asra would also love to run on the beach sometimes, namely as a kid, maybe making himself invisible or otherwise undetectable until he's right up on a big flock of seagulls before giving them a hearty boo! And watching them all fly away all giggly. As an adult he may still stir up flocks for fun sometimes, or just to see how pretty it is to watch them all fly at once.

In general he just loves watching birds or bugs or whatever be it fly, always so effortlessly. Maybe he wishes he could fly himself. It certainly would make things easier he would come to think time to time growing up in Vesuvia.

Plus, he likes to collect the feathers that flutter down. Back when he sold masks, they were something he incorporated into them often. Then, too, he would also sit by the river after wearing himself out practicing hydromancy or what not, and a few times dragonflies would perch on him. He'd always gasp n grin all big and goofy when they did.

Muriel doesn't pick favorites really when it comes to animals (barring wolves and bears), but he does mirror Asra's 'one of my favourites' statements by saying "they're one of Asra's favorites," Occasionally.

While Asra's animal encounters or observations are typically brief, Muriel is more than content to just watch animals long periods of time. He can spot or at least know where to find some seriously elusive ones. The only one such animal Asra seems to have luck like that with seems to be foxes.

If you want to see an animal, local to the area around Vesuvia namely, Muriel can probably help you with that, granted he trusts you. This includes dens, hives, and nesting sites of course, things he will stop by occasionally in his forest to check on. His luck/skill in finding these things can't seem to be mimicked by even the most skilled animal trackers, you'd think they were practically just showing themselves to only him.

Muriel is also content to let animals do their thing and not interact with them much. Birds, butterflies and similar may land on him occasionally and he's always enchanted by it though, and will make no move to prevent an animal being on or touching him. Similar to Asra, he will also remove any animals in bad spots and put them somewhere better. He's a bit more effective at this though, as he tends to be looking down anyways, while Asra has probably smooshed a few pillbugs and snails before while doing his own thing- eyes elsewhere.

If Muriel did ever nerf a bug accidentally he would probably feel pretty damn bad, and if it wasn't reduced to a mere smear he would return its poor bug corpse to nature so that it might reclaim it. He'd get over it quick though if he was in a good mood prior, just give him a moment. If he was upset over something else already and he killed one, I could see it even pushing him to tears or rather making it worse if he was already at that point.

Asra would probably be like 'awh.... :( oof, I'm sorry lil guy...' and sweep it into nature if he could, but otherwise he would not be impacted too much.

Asra would purposely kill bugs on a few occasions even, pest bugs namely - like flies or mosquitoes or, of course, plague beetles. He may even instinctively lash out and flatten a bug that simply resembles a plague beetle enough, particularly if something had his anxiety or panic (ptsd trigger from the plague??) going. Otherwise plague beetle resembling beetles he'd be a little unsettled by, or uncomfortable to be around, but not enough to necessarily kill. He'd either move it somewhere else, try to scare it off, or move away from it. Muriel doesn't have many hang ups on plague beetle resembling bugs, though he would probably kill the real deal readily.

Any dead animals not in a wild area (like left in the city or on a road,) Muriel would move as long as it wasn't yknow. Too nasty. Birds that hit windows, starved or sickly scavengers, anything that dropped in a heatwave or was claimed by a flood, things like that, recent deaths. It pains him to see at all, but pains him more to leave them just.... There. Some he may bury, others he may leave out in places where there's animals he know will take it for food.

Injured or sick animals Muriel would try to help best he could, and he's successfully done it a few times. If it's blistering hot he'd also likely leave water out here and there for the animals of the forest, and he may enlist Asra's help with this to replenish water in natural water basins as well in droughts.

Muriel can handle animal death okay, hunting and fishing is a thing he does to some degree, it's just the preventable or senseless ones that hurt, it's worth saying here. It's just sad. He'll be okay after though, unless there's something more nefarious and upsetting at play.

Asra helping unwell/hurt animals would mostly consist of magic healing, but beyond that he wouldn't know what to really do besides bring it to Muriel or any animal experts near him. He doesn't come across these situations too often thankfully, though. Domestic animals he would take in more readily, and would let crash at the shop for a while if he can. If it's a livestock animal he'll ask if Muriel wants to take it in, or even in the case of an ownerless pet animal. If not, he can ask around. See if anyone wants a new dog or cat or... Goat. I just imagine those are the kinds of animals he's most likely to find in need, being in the center of Vesuvia.

Moving on from that....

Animal knowledge!

Asra likely doesn't know a ton about animals outside of ones that feature prominently in magic and myth, he's just good at identifying them and overall tends to appreciate their presence. Identifying animals can make for good pass times on long travels, or if he just sees something particularly neat he may simply want to know what to call it. He also probably learned most the common local Vesuvian species names growing up, probably through reading, though the bulk of his knowledge of the nature he grew up around is probably botanical- foraging can be dangerous! Plus, magic knowledge probably leans more heavily on plants than animals as well.

If Asra can't identify an animal, though, he will simply make up a name for it on the spot. If he finds out it's ID later he will still refer to it as his made up name followed by AKA/sometimes called/locally known as [real name]. He also tends to refer to tons of animals as the infamous, famous, legendary, revered, etc. Regardless of relevance, commonality or obscurity. He just thinks they all deserve such titles, and when has a little flair ever hurt?

"Ah, MC, look! It's an Abramesmerwhymsical Zadithi midnight-billed stilt-wader! Though it's sometimes also known as the famous crab-plover," Kinda shit. He enjoys it.

Muriel doesn't actually know the actual names of a ton of animals species. He knows of a few though, not to mention the Asra-given names that stuck with him. Despite not knowing their names sometimes still, he can tell most all species apart readily, and juveniles from adults, males from females, things like that. He watches animals of the forest regularly and is in tune with the local species life cycles, breeding or rearing seasons, migratory patterns, unique behaviors and everything else. Though his knowledge is probably limited to Vesuvian species, he's able to quickly pick up on other animal's traits and such when outside of Vesuvian territory, and is generally good with animals as is.

He knows what doves/pigeons and owls and vipers and mice and geckos etc are. He may not know that a specific species of such is called like, namaqua doves, omani owls, ocellated mountain vipers, cario spiny mouse, kotschy's middle-toed geckos n shit. It's not like he has NO idea, species names are weird and can be long winded so....

...He just doesn't know that dunnocks aren't actually called stripple-caped tseepers.

But he doesn't need to. <3

If he does learn the real names for them though, he is quite glad and will use the name readily. If you're looking at a Muriel who's in the city more, he will probably read up on this information himself, but otherwise he would of course treasure it if MC told him.

The only reasons he doesn't even know the names to begin with is mostly because the names you'll hear out and about most commonly only cover a fraction of species to start, and everything else youre mostly going to have to study via reading or classes. Neither of those seem to be things a young homeless Muriel would care to pursue lmao.

Annnnd

I forgot what else I was going to add and lost track so, I'll maybe add more later. I'll probably also amend this as I may find I don't agree with my own statements the next day and also I don't proofread so. I hope u enjoyed these feel free to add on or add differing opinions!

#asra #muriel #the arcana game #the arcana #tw animal death

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moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being a younger Avenger and mentoring Kamala

Kamala Khan x reader

warnings: avengers game spoilers, guns

a/n: so excited about this one; i made y/n just a bit older (and gn!) so that they’re in their mid-early teens during a-day! hope thats okie doke! reader has electrokinesis. this accidentally got really detailed

prompt: anonymous: “Hey there! Would you mind writing HCs for the Avengers Game about female reader being a young Avenger (around 17) and mentoring Kamala Khan?”

you were just a kid yourself when you joined the avengers

and you were an inspiration to kids around the world

“does SHIELD think nothing of child labor laws?” -bruce

the avengers became your family

and seeing what you could do...they knew you could handle yourself

and then a-day happened

the day started off so perfect

and the kids went ballistic over seeing you

“y/h/n! look, it’s y/h/n!”

“can i get a picture?”

“hi, guys! of course you can!”

but there was one kid who stuck out among the rest

kamala khan

“you’re the one who wrote about the sewers, right? i freaking loved it! may i just say your art is amazing?”

“r-really?”

“oh, yeah! and the part where you had thor spin mjölnir to push water towards the sewer lizards so i could shock them? genius!”

she could not wait to tell abu about what you had just said

you obviously took a selfie with her and handed her a little pin with your own “icon” on it

but your world got turned upside down that day

the battle was one you’d never forget

and the fighting with your own teammates afterwards would haunt you for years to come

“what do you know, y/n?! you’re just a kid!” -tony

“oh yeah? im one of the only functioning members of this team!”

“everybody calm down. y/n makes a good point, but—” -nat

“thank you”

“...but there’s some stuff you should leave up to us. you really shouldn’t have to take on so much responsibility” -nat

“she’s right, y/n. this was our fault” -bruce

“are you kidding me?! i’m just as guilty as the rest of you, i’m an equal member of this team! for years we’ve dealt with this together, taken the blame together! what’s changed?”

“y/n...you saw what we did out there. that changed everything...” -bruce

you technically were an inhuman, just not terrigen-based

didnt matter to AIM, they took dr. pym for god’s sake

so you had to run, you were on your own for a while

a long while

you laid low for five years, most boring five years of your life

at least you still had your life, though. it just wasn’t what it used to be

but you got a message one day

“‘tiny dancer,’ huh? my moneys on either nat or tony. nah, tony would have chosen ‘rocket man.’”

you couldn’t be sure, maybe it was just a random shield agent...maybe hank pym? god, this was crazy

the message brought you to, uh, cap’s memorial statue

and there was a young girl arguing with a couple of boys...an inhuman!

you hopped in and saved her, she seemed scared

“hey, kid, you alright?”

“y/h/n? is it really you?”

she seemed vaguely familiar

“are you tiny dancer?”

“no, i thought you might be? they sent you here, too?”

there wasn’t much time to chat, AIM was onto you

you two unfortunately got split up for a minute, but you were practically raised by the notorious clint barton and natasha romanoff, and various other spies

yes, you planted a tracker on her

and met her at the bus stop!

“you found me?”

“that i did, kamala. see, i do remember you”

“that is so cool! i mean—not almost getting killed, or the guy with the big head...”

“what guy? you need to tell me everything”

the whole busride was a bit overwhelming. kamala explained the resistance clues, her powers, her undying admiration for the avengers, you name it

but it made you feel good to know that there were people out there that didn’t hate you

“so what was it like? being the teenage avenger?”

“uh, it was...it was really cool. i felt like i was one-of-a-kind. but sometimes people didn’t take me seriously, it was kind of aggravating”

“yeah, no one takes me seriously either...”

“you know, depending on how this all goes, i might be able to give you a few pointers”

“really?! that’d be great!”

once you got to utah...you saw the chimera

it brought back some bad memories, kamala could tell

“you okay?”

“me? yeah, im good. just thinking...okay, well, do you have a plan on how to get yourself across all of this?”

“actually, i do!”

it was kind of creepy in there, but when you laid your eyes on caps shield, you kind of broke

“do you hear something, what it that?”

“...hulk. kamala, you need to get out of here, i’ll catch up to you, i swear”

she didn’t leave in time, so she got to see the greener side of bruce. you chased him back and tried to get bruce back

meanwhile, kamala found AIM troops...oops

bruce cooled off and man was he doing rough

“y/n, is that really you?”

“yeah, its me. surprise. how long have you been the big guy?”

“too long...a few years”

“jesus, im sorry. i’ll be right back, though. some kid brought me here, i gotta go get her. you kinda scared her off”

she was passed out when you got to her

but bruce is a doctor, he’d figure it out

“i could give her a little shock to wake her up, you know?”

“oh, i know. just let her rest for a minute. she needs it”

“right...well im gonna take a look around, maybe go see what i left behind. i could power the place up, but we’re missing some parts to actually get this thing running. best i can do is lights and doors”

you turned the little things on and turns out did leave a decent amount of stuff in here

your first pair of pistols that nat gave you, the gigantic stein that thor gifted you for your 13th birthday, gadgets tony needed an “extra boost” for *bzzt*, a note from cap that just said “good luck, y/n, you’re going to do great!” you cant even remember what it was he was referring to. you just missed him

kamala walked in while you were shuffling around and cleaning the place up

“hey, dr. banner wanted me to come get you. is this your room?”

“that it is, and it’s a huge mess. this is literally all my belongings ever”

bruce had his plan and you just went along, helping kamala out as you go

“baby steps, kam, don’t want you to pass out. but don’t worry, happens to the best of us” -you

“really? you pass out too?” -kamala

“oh yeah, for sure. tell her bruce, remember that time we had thor overcharge me to literally make me an EMP? and tony was busy listening to music so he wouldn’t get out of the blast radius and his armor shut down? so he was out of commission and i had just collapsed from it all? good times”

“y/n, we thought you died” -bruce

this hc is so long omg — anyways you guys ended up finding tony and it was sort of entertaining but he kinda punched bruce and then hugged you

“you got so big”

“shut up, tony”

you kinda harbored some bad feelings since none of the avengers did anything to help you once they started rounding up inhumans (but you still missed them)

getting attacked again

“okay, kamala, remember what i said about baby steps. dont overdo it. i trust you with this!”

“thank you, y/n! uh—oh my god!”

aaaanyways you went to the ant hill to see hank and pick up some supplies, boy was it great to see some familiar faces, then back the the chimera you went to fix it all up

“can you hold that right there for me, kamala? thanks. i think that just about does it. now i have a surprise for you...your own room!”

you helped kamala get it nice and tidy while talking about each other’s lives, she really did remind you of yourself when you became an avenger. excited, scared, underestimated, all of that. and she begged you to share some mission stories, so you obviously did

“you know, if you stick around for a while, you’re gonna have some cool stories, too. maybe even a kickass costume.”

“oh! a costume, ive got that sorta covered. check it out. a burkini, muslim women wear it for swimming and stuff. my mom got it for me”

“love it. soon we’ll find you a fitting name and update the suit, but seriously, this was the perfect way to go. you look great”

“you think so? i don’t know if i feel that cool. maybe i should try something else?”

“if that’s how you feel, you don’t have to stick to it. you can experiment all you want! but i really think you did awesome on this. come on, pose with me! and hey, i like your pins.”

at this point, you’d do anything for kamala, she reminded you so much of yourself. you would have killed for a mentor your age back in the day.

natasha was in fact tiny dancer...called it

“oh, god, y/n. you’re all grown up...im sorry we left you alone. but if it makes you feel better, i always kept an eye on you”

“well, i kind of took on a protégé...she’s like your grand-protégé. kam, c’mere”

after thor finally came back, everyone started fighting again and ditched, it felt so familiar. but you couldn’t leave kamala behind, you swore to yourself that you couldn’t do that.

she was so good for this team

MODOK was defeated (by kamala herself) but there was so much left to do, tons of threats to extinguish, training to accomplish

“y/n, tony won’t turn his dad rock off! he overrode the speakers in my room”

“oh, it’s on. get chastity’s fabric dye and bleach pens. we’re gonna start some trouble”

she gave you a high five one time and nearly broke your arm

sending each other tiny hand memes

“hey, ms. m, how’re your parents? doing okay without their favorite super-daughter?”

“my abu doesn’t stop texting me actually, says my family is super proud of me. it’s a nice change of pace”

you take her on covert missions for field training, it was Educational(tm)

*elevator music playing* “so...what do you want for dinner? i was thinking we could ask thor to barbecue”

sleepovers in her room that just turn into her showing you her superhero merch, listening to music, prank lists, sneaking off to the HARM room for hand-to-hand combat training and power experiments, thinking up new costume designs

“tip: you always need backup suits, you never know what you’re gonna run into out there. one time tony pushed me into a tower of paint cans and they spilled all over me. steve yelled at him for two hours afterwards. worst mission ever, except steve said ‘motherfucker’ and i have never recovered from the emotions of that day”

“wow, i wish i could have been there for that”

“don’t worry, kami, you’ll see some crazy ‘team bonding’ along the way”

she geeks out about captain marvel sometimes

“hey, i’ve got a book carol gave to me about ‘teens taking responsibility.’ you wanna read it?”

“is it any good?”

“i don’t know, i only read the first two pages”

you ended up having a true heart-to-heart with her after one mission when she made a mistake that nearly cost you guys the mission. you told her that not every mission is going to go perfect, each avenger had slipped up in the field, and she had just started, shes not going to be perfect

“i am literally always here if you need anything. i know what it feels like to be a teenager among legends, but trust me, you’ve made it this far and you’ve proven how much of a badass you are. i know you can take anything that gets thrown at you”

kamala said she makes vegan nachos and yeah she makes vegan nachos

you guys have to hide from the rest of the team when she makes them bc they eat ALL OF THEM

gaff (the SHEILD vendor) has you test his gear, you recommend gear to kamala

you were so excited to guide kamala on her journey of heroism

taglist: @ravenmoore14 // @purpleskiesstorm //

#kamala khan #kamala khan x reader #kamala khan imagine #ms marvel #ms marvel x reader #ms marvel imagine #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #avengers game #avengers game x reader #avengers game imagine

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just-jordie-things · 4 years

Text

Wherever I Go - John B Routledge

word count: 8075 warnings: swearing, fighting summary: John B is fleeing the country without saying goodbye to the girl he’s been in love with his whole life. this is a collection of their memories (I guess) + loosely based on this song kinda ish idk ___

[ i know i could lie, but i’m telling the truth // wherever i go, there’s a shadow of you ]

(y/n) always thought it was kind of unoriginal, and lamely expected, falling for John B. Even the moment she’d realized that she was catching feelings for her childhood best friend, she’d wanted to face palm. Because of course she did. She had to fall for the same guy that every girl has a crush on at some point.

It was kind of funny to her sometimes.

Like when he did his stupid shit, whether it was trying to con CPS, or when he would find a vacant Kook house for the Pogues to party in until they got chased out by security.

(y/n) missed the days when they were running from a security guard that would stop chasing them when they got to their side of the island. She missed when John B wasn’t a wanted suspect, she missed life before this whole stupid treasure hunt.

Had she known there was an equal chance of the gold ruining their lives as there was it being the best thing that ever happened to them, she would have convinced her friends to drop it.

Because so far, it wasn’t worth it.

[ i know i could try looking for something new // but wherever i go, i’ll be looking for you ]

“I don’t want to stay here forever”

(y/n) glanced over at John B, surprised to hear something so profound seeing as they’d been sitting on the sofa, watching a kids movie.

She knew that he meant it in the same way all the Pogues meant it when they said they wanted to get out. He’d say it all his life, but in the end he’d settle down and stay in the Outer Banks, because in the end, it’s home.

But nonetheless, the words tugged at her heartstrings.

“Where do you want to go?” She asked, angling towards him to better give him her attention.

It was at that point that they gave up on the movie completely.

“Anywhere,” John B huffed, turning towards her as well. “Maybe Florida. Maybe north, I don’t really care”

(y/n) gave him a sad sort of smile, but she entertained the idea anyways. It was important to have dreams, she thought, even if they were unattainable.

“I’d go to Florida with you” She said sweetly, making him grin back at her.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” She affirmed. “We could like… I don’t know, open up a canoe shop or something. Then we could still be on the water every day,”

John B’s smiling even wider now, enjoying her little made up plan. He doesn’t say anything, hoping that she’ll say more nice things so he can pretend he lives anywhere but the OBX.

“We’d probably have to share a studio apartment or something,” She added, catching the way he was waiting for her to continue. “I don’t think we’d be able to afford anything else. Oh, what if it was just above the canoe shop?”

Her eyes lit up at the idea of having their own place above their own shop. It could be completely theirs, and suddenly she too was falling in love with the idea of escaping.

“You’d live with me?” John B asked, and she giggled, gesturing around herself at the Chateau.

“I pretty much live with you now, dork,” She told him. “I don’t think it’d be that much of an adjustment”

“Good point” John B chuckled.

It was quiet for a minute, the both of them daydreaming about their imagined place in Florida. In their minds, it was perfect. There was no DCS trying to put John B in the system, there were no Kooks, no Pogues, they could live there freely, and happily.

“We could walk everywhere,” John B added his own little fantasy. “It’d be a small enough town. I’d take you to the farmer’s market on the weekends, and then we could surf…”

(y/n) could feel her heart swelling up as a bittersweet feeling settled over her. As lovely as this sounded, she knew deep down it would never happen. Her and John B had grown up on this island, they would grow old on this island, and they would die on this island, it was just the Pogue way.

“I’d love that,” She tells him anyway. “Maybe we could have a pet, or something. Something weird”

“If you say something like a lizard-”

“Lizards are cool!” (y/n) laughs, and he laughs with her.

It’s a happy moment, her heart is full and her smile is genuine. She’s reminded of all the reasons why she’s fallen for the boy in front of her, especially because of how his charisma makes his happiness contagious.

“That’s the plan then,” John B murmurs after their laughter dies down.

(y/n’s) eyebrows raise slightly, but she doesn’t shoot him down. She would never.

“Florida” He finishes.

“Florida” She agrees in her own whisper. ___

[ some people lie, but they’re looking for magic // others get down on their knees and they pray ]

This treasure hunt had quickly gone from a fun summer adventure to a life altering and probably traumatic nightmare. John B had pretty much prepared himself to lose his life looking for this gold, and somehow that was a reality that didn’t scare him.

The plan was simple, for an escape plan. JJ and Kiara would steal his dad’s speedboat, Pope was discreetly getting supplies needed for a getaway, and (y/n) was back at the Chateau, packing up everything of value that John B had listed off to her.

Then at three o’clock, on the dot, they were supposed to meet at the docks. No exceptions. John B needed to get off the island as fast as possible, and they’d made it clear before splitting up that if anyone wasn’t there on time, he couldn’t wait around. It was too risky to be out in the open with a speedboat and a wanted man.

That was why they’d all shared a quick group hug before breaking apart and running their errands. Just in case. But they’d all promised to be on time.

She promised.

“Dude, you have to go,” Pope said, shoving the bag of emergency supplies into John B’s hands. “We can’t hang around here-”

“No we have to- we have to,” John B argued as panic settled over him. “I can’t leave without saying goodbye-”

“I’ll tell her,” JJ cut in. “We all will, and she knows, JB-”

“No she doesn’t- look- I’m not going without seeing her”

“You don’t have that choice!” Pope hissed. “If you don’t get on that boat now, you’re going to get caught. You have to go, we don’t have the time”

John B shook his head, too stubborn to listen to reason.

It was 3:10 now, and (y/n) still hadn’t arrived with his things from the Chateau. And with every passing minute, John B only started to freak out worse.

“What if they arrested her?” He thought out loud. “What if she’s hurt? Maybe I should go back-”

Before he could take a step JJ had stepped in front of him, both hands on his chest.

“Don’t even think about it- do you hear yourself man?” He asked. “Get on the boat, you can’t afford to wait around for her-”

“I told you, I’m not leaving without saying goodbye-”

“Look, we get that you feel bad, I get it, but you can’t risk losing this chance dude-”

“We’ll tell her that you waited as long as you could!” Kiara shouted, annoyed that they were still standing around arguing about this. “She’ll understand, John B, she knows just like the rest of us that we couldn’t do exactly this. You need to get off this island, now”

As usual, Kiara was the voice of reason, and as his stubbornness faded, his heart started to break.

But he shakily nodded his head, and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

“Tell her- um- tell her I..” His voice trailed off as his throat swelled up and began to burn.

“I know,” Kiara nodded. “I’ll tell her, I promise”

John B couldn’t say anything, just nodded his head as he stared down at the ground, trying not to cry. He couldn’t believe he was about to leave without seeing her one more time.

And he’d probably never see her again. ___

[ i feel alive when i’m close to the madness // no easy love could ever make me feel the same ]

Parties were hit or miss with (y/n). When it was just the Pogues, she always enjoyed them, no matter what they did. But when they threw beach parties that the whole island was invited to, she was usually too anxious about the mix of Kooks and Pogues to fully enjoy herself.

But she always went, she wouldn’t miss the chance to hang out with her friends, or have free beer.

Currently she was sitting in the sand, her shoes had long been missing, and a half empty cup of cheap beer in her hand. She tended not to drink too much at these things, always worried that something terrible would happen, and someone had to be sober enough to handle those situations.

She’d been chilling by herself for quite some time, eyes roaming the swarms of people, pretty much expecting the worse. It wasn’t a great mindset, or a healthy one for that matter, but she couldn’t help it.

Besides, there was plenty of drama that she could watch that most people missed.

Like the Touron couple that was about to break up because the boyfriend had been grinding on some random Kook girl. That was pretty entertaining.

Or Rafe Cameron, who was trying way too hard to look like he wasn’t high out of his mind. There was still a little bit of coke visible under his nose, that even (y/n) could see from ten feet away. She made a mental note to keep a close eye on him.

“What are you doing down there?”

Despite her watchful eye, she hadn’t noticed John B walking right up to her, and now standing before her, looking down at her with an amused half-grin.

“Keeping an eye on things, like usual,” She shrugged, and then nodded to where Rafe Cameron was hitting on an entire group of Touron girls at once, “Rafe looks kind of-”

“Come dance with me” He cut her off, and her eyes darted back up to his.

“What?”

“Come dance with me,” He repeated, sticking his hand down towards her now. “You gotta loosen up a bit, and I haven’t seen you all night”

“I don’t know, I kinda think that he’s gonna pull something,” (y/n) explained. “And when he does I want him out of here immediately-”

“Then I’ll help you keep an eye on him while we’re out there,” John B reasoned with her. “But you can’t just sit here by yourself all night, so come on”

He tapped his fingers to the palm of his hand, beckoning her silently to give in.

“Fine,” She sighed, and placed her hand in his, letting him pull her up off the ground. “But as soon as he-”

“I got it, I got it, we kick him out when he goes full asshole,” He said. “Now just relax for a little bit, won’t you?”

(y/n) rolled her eyes, and despite something telling her deep down that her attention should be on the reckless, known-to-ruin-the-night Rafe, she allowed herself to be distracted by John B.

It was just so easy.

He twirled her around under his arm, trying to get her to let the tension in her shoulders go, but it took quite some prompting to really get her to dance with him. He pretty much had to grab her by the hips and move them to the beat for her in order to get her moving.

But by the time a new song started to play, she started getting into it, and soon any worries about Rafe or Tourons were far from her mind, and all she cared about was dancing with John B.

He laughed and cheered with her, eagerly twirling the girl around under his arm over and over just so that she’d keep on giggling.

It was cheesy, but it was so, so worth it.

“Okay John B quit it, you’re gonna make me sick” She finally grabbed at his wrist so he would stop. The dizziness lingered, and she swayed slightly while trying to get it to settle.

John B was still chuckling as he reached his free hang out towards her shoulder, holding onto her with a strong enough grip so she would stand still.

It only lasted a second longer before she was grinning up at him, letting him know she was fine.

“Drinks?” She asked, and he agreed instantly, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked towards the keg.

JJ and Kiara were currently in charge of the beer, which was good news because if it weren’t for Kiara, JJ would be pouring drinks for anyone no matter how intoxicated they already were.

“Look at you two,” Kiara giggled before hiccuping, and then giggling some more.

Her finger pointed at (y/n) and John B, waving unsteadily.

“All cute and shit. Jay- look how f’ckin’ cute they are”

Alright, so maybe tonight Kiara had more to drink than usual and her judgment was a bit off, but it was funny nonetheless.

“Is there any beer left in that keg or did you two hog it all?” John B asked, trying to ignore Kie’s comment.

Kiara and JJ shared a look, before snorting and bursting into more giggles. That wasn’t a great answer. But neither (y/n) or John B cared much, they just happily accepted their beer.

“Where have you been, anyways?” JJ asked, throwing back his own drink and immediately pouring himself another. “We haven’t seen you guys all night… you’re not macking are you?”

John B’s face went pink at the accusation, even though there was no truth to it. But (y/n) burst out into giggles. Nervous giggles, but no one else knew that. John B thought that she just found the idea so preposterous that it was funny to her. It made him blush harder, but no one seemed to notice.

He supposed that was the positive effects of alcohol.

“No!” (y/n) screeched between her giggles. “We were just dancing” She told their friends.

“Awww” Kiara cooed, folding her hands together and placing them against her cheek.

JJ rolled his eyes and shook his head, but didn’t say anything about it.

“Usually you’re inside going to bed,” JJ said, glancing at (y/n) with his eyebrows raised in surprise. “You up for the night tonight?”

“I am not,” (y/n) argued back. “I just like to sit back and people-watch, that’s all”

“Well, still, you’re out here drinking with us instead. Not so much of a goodie goodie now are ya?” JJ smirked.

He was only teasing, the Pogues knew that (y/n) wasn’t uptight like that, she just worried about her friends. She’d proven time and time again that she could handle herself if necessary.

In the tenth grade Topper Thornton had a broken nose to prove it… he also had a limp for a few days because of how hard the girl had swung her boot between his legs. But that’s what he got for saying the nasty things he did about her and her friends.

And she’d do it again if she had to.

So she knew that JJ was just messing around, he’d never say anything to genuinely upset her anyways. But she noticed the way John B glared at the blonde.

“I’m just messing, calm down” JJ laughed it off, also seeing the look on John B’s face.

“Hey, speaking of sitting around, where’s Pope?” (y/n) asked, quickly changing the subject out of discomfort.

“I think he’s still flirting with a Touron,” Kiara said, wiggling her eyebrows. “He’s been chatting up the same girl all night, I think he might have finally found someone who’s interested in the shit he talks about”

She pointed off to where Pope and a pretty girl with brightly dyed hair were sitting in the sand. Whoever she was, she was definitely interested in him, and (y/n) couldn’t help but think Pope struck gold.

“Wow, look at how into him she is,” She said with a click of her tongue. “Good for Pope”

“I know right, it’s about time” Kiara muttered in agreement, grinning at the sight.

“What do you mean?” John B asked, taking a sip of his beer and leaning down slightly as he spoke to (y/n). He was looking at the same scene, but he just couldn’t see what she was talking about.

“What do you mean what do I mean?” (y/n) retorted, and John B had to stop and think through her slight tongue twister. She giggled, looking up at him and enjoying his ‘thinking’ face.

“I meant what are you talking about?” He asked, semi quietly.

(y/n’s) brow furrowed a bit at his dropped volume. Pope was pretty far away, there was no way he could have heard his friends talking about him, but she didn’t understand why John B was still whispering. Did he not want JJ and Kiara to hear? Why didn’t it matter?

She took a large swig of her beer after realizing she’d been overthinking far too much, and then turned back to John B.

“I mean, look at her,” She said, nodding off to the girl with pink hair. “Look at how close she’s leaning to him,”

John B nodded, checking that off in his head. Leaning.

“And she’s making eye contact, and smiling, and talking enthusiastically,” (y/n) continued her list. “I mean, Pope’s a pretty oblivious guy so he probably doesn’t see it, but she definitely wants him to kiss her”

“You can tell all that from all the way over here?” He asked, amused.

(y/n) shrugged, looking up at him again.

“What can I say? I’ve got a natural talent for reading people,” She said proudly, and then finished her beer. “Hey, Jay, be a doll and pour me another?”

She handed her cup back to the blonde before turning to John B again when he tapped on her arm.

“Do someone else,” He says, but she clearly doesn’t get what he’s trying to say. “Your reading thing, do it on someone else”

“Alright,” (y/n) shrugged, eyes roaming over the crowd around them. “Who?”

She wanted to show him the Touron couple that were still arguing and on the verge of breaking up, and tell him about what she saw earlier, but he already had someone in mind.

“Her” He said, pointing to a blonde girl down by the water. She was wearing a pretty floral dress, and was wading around barefoot where the water barely reached the shore. Her boyfriend was standing further away from the water, obviously yelling at her to get out of it, even though he couldn’t be heard from where (y/n) was standing.

“Sarah Cameron?” She asked him, and he nodded his head. “I mean, I don’t know what she’d thinking going out with Topper-”

“That’s not the same thing, you’ve gotta read her from afar, forget about what you already know about her” John B instructed.

(y/n) huffed, but nodded in agreement, and focused on the pair that were some thirty feet away.

“She’s pretty free spirited…” She finally told him, it was something she’d never noticed before. “And seems pretty happy, genuinely happy. For a Kook,”

John B chuckled as she added in that last part hastily.

“But I don’t think her and Topper will last long, really,” (y/n) continued. “I mean, he keeps trying to hold her back, look at him,”

(y/n’s) eyes wandered to John B, only to realize he wasn’t watching Sarah and Topper’s interaction with her, instead he’d been staring at her the whole time, mesmerized by the way she could read body language like it were in a book.

(y/n’s) cheeks tinted pink, but she ignored it, pointing off to Sarah and Topper to redirect John B’s attention.

“See how he’s just pouting like that? He does it a lot. He gets frustrated with her very easily. Pretty much whenever they’re not doing what he wants to do”

With that, (y/n) took her refilled cup from JJ, and took a swig.

John B had a wide grin on his face as he nodded at her with respect.

“That’s pretty cool. I didn’t know you were so good at that” He said.

“I’m full of surprises” (y/n) giggled back, hiccuping a bit.

She drank more beer in hopes of getting rid of the hiccup. It didn’t work.

“Me too,” John B, suddenly taking hold of her hand. He was right, that did surprise her. Usually she was the one to initiate physical affection, not him. “Come on, let’s dance some more”

Shrugging, she followed him as he began to walk backwards, away from the keg.

They both drank some more, so that when they danced with their cups it wouldn’t spill over. Now they were properly tipsy, borderlining on drunk. That perfect in-between that would last the next fifteen minutes or so before they got truly drunk.

But for now, as they danced wildly and without rhythm, it was perfect.

At one point, John B ditched his beer completely, dropping the cup to the sand, so that he could wrap both arms around (y/n’s) waist. She was just about to reach her hands up to his shoulders, thinking they were still dancing, when he abruptly lifted her up off the sand.

The squeal she let out caught the attention of a few surrounding party goers, but no one paid them any mind.

John B proceeded to spin her around a few times before he set her back down. She was giggling again, just like when they were dancing before, soft and calculated, like she was trying not to laugh too much.

He laughed with her as she regained her balance and hooked one of her arms around his neck, continuing to dance without a care in the world.

She still had her beer in her other hand, not much of it was left, but there was enough for her to take a swig and then let John B throw back the rest. Her now free hand landed on his chest haphazardly. The button down he wore wasn’t buttoned anymore, so her palm rested on his warm chest while her fingers dug into the soft fabric.

There was no denying that the feeling of her skin against his made him heat up more.

After he drank the remnants of her beer, John B tossed her cup to the ground next to where his had landed earlier.

“We gotta remember -hic- to pick those up later,” (y/n) told him, her eyes hooded slightly as she tried to keep eye contact. “Or Kie will kill us” She finished, and then hiccuped again.

John B laughed at the hiccuping, but nodded his head.

“Okay, I’ll remember”

“No you won’t” (y/n) said knowingly.

“I’ll try to remember” John B replied, but the slight slur in his voice as he tried to properly pronounce ‘remember’ said otherwise.

“You’re not gonna remember” (y/n) argued again, and this time he nodded his head.

“Yeah, I’m not gonna remember. You should remember for me”

They were both laughing again, just because it was a stupid conversation but it was the funniest thing in the world to them, at the moment anyways.

But then suddenly everything changed.

She looked up at him and her laughter died.

He was the only thing she could see. The party was in the background, their friends, the Touron couple fighting just a few feet away, the music that had previously been blasting in her ears, it all faded away. She was intently focused on the slope of John B’s nose. Followed by the way his eyes kind of turned green in the dim lighting. Then the curve of his jaw. And the few freckles scattered over his cheeks and down his neck. And lastly the fullness of his lips.

His lips had never looked that kissable before. Sure, she’s always wanted to kiss them, but right now it dawned on her that she absolutely could if she wanted to. They were right there, it would be easy to reach up and plant her lips on his. Even if it was just for a second.

John B must have picked up on her change in demeanor, because his arms around her waist tighten in the slightest, drawing her in closer. The action made her heart skip a beat, because she knew. She knew he knew. They were thinking the same thing, consequences be damned, it just had to be done this once, the mood was just right.

Subconsciously, (y/n) licked her lips, cursing at herself for drinking so much beer that she could still taste it on herself, but the thought was fleeting as her eyes met John B’s for the shortest of seconds, just to make sure that they were thinking the same thing, before they lowered back down to his lips.

When she stood on the tips of her toes, they were almost eye level, which was close enough. And when she stood on the tips of her toes, John B pulled her in until her chest hit his.

And finally, she let her eyes fall shut, leaning in to let nature take it’s course. Or maybe it was fate- it certainly felt like fate was guiding her right now.

But just as she could feel his nose prod against hers, a loud shout broke the pair from their hypnotized state.

“I’m sick and tired of you dirty Pogues thinking you own this island!”

Suddenly, the party was back in the picture, and it wasn’t just the two of them on the beach.

(y/n) pulled away from John B with more force than she meant to, but Rafe Cameron yelling something like that was not a good sign, and she was certain that he was picking a fight with someone.

Of course, as her eyes finally found him, that ‘someone’ was JJ. Of course.

“Oh, shit”

John B came back down to earth and was moving before he could think. (y/n) followed right after him, hoping to get to the arguing pair before it could escalate. Topper was walking up to defend Rafe if needed, and if any other Kooks closed in, then this party was going downhill fast.

Before either of them could get to him, JJ took the first swing, knocking Rafe on his ass right away with the blow. And despite the slight pride that John B and (y/n) felt, they knew that it wouldn’t be good if the fight continued.

So John B got in front of JJ, putting his hands on his shoulders, while (y/n) wrapped her hands around his arm.

She’d learned some time ago that touching him gently, carefully, was a quick way to calming JJ down. He had a bad temper, but if he was reminded of the consequences of his actions- like getting arrested again and being away from his friends, which were his safe haven- then he could calm down faster and it made it easier for him to walk away.

“Maybank, you hitting that?” Topper asked, nodding to where (y/n) was still at his side, trying to whisper nice things to calm him down.

Apparently she’d been soothing the wrong person. Because as soon as Topper spoke, John B was abandoning JJ, and whirling around to punch the Kook across the jaw.

“John!” You shrieked in a mixture of fear and shock.

John B didn’t start fights, ever. He’s ended them before, and gotten his ass handed to him before, but he never threw the first punch, no matter what. Normally it was JJ, and sometimes it was a stupid Kook. But him decking Topper just now, that was the first time (y/n’s) ever seen him swing without hesitation.

JJ whooped beside her, and she stopped her comforting caress to smack his bicep in nonverbal scolding.

Next thing she knew, Topper swung back, and he and John B were full on brawling. Rafe had even stepped back, cheering Topper on as he landed a couple punches in a row.

And then there was Sarah Cameron, who must have just shown up, because she was screaming at her boyfriend with the entirety of her lungs.

“Get off him! Topper! Cut it out!”

She continued to scream until she realized that Topper wasn’t going to listen no matter what she said.

He hit John B again, sending him to his knees. (y/n) gasped, her hands flying over her mouth as she flinched at the pain he must be in. It was a tough punch, to get knocked down like that.

John B didn’t stay down though, just as Topper was winding back to deck him again, John B was lunging forward, tackling him to the ground.

(y/n) had forgotten that she was supposed to be keeping JJ grounded, because suddenly he was in the picture, sending a kick into Topper’s side as John B kept him down.

“JJ!” She called, her eyes darting between John B and JJ, not knowing who to yell at currently. “John B!”

Frustration grew inside of her as a pit in her stomach. It mixed in with the fear of her boys getting themselves hurt, again, and she felt like she might throw up right then and there.

Rafe came back into the picture then, as if on cue, grabbing JJ by the shoulders and prying him away from Topper and John B, sparking a completely different fight.

Without JJ helping John B to keep Topper down, the Kook was shooting forward, pinning John B to his back, completely knocking the wind out of him. Enough so that when Topper threw his fist against his face again, it completely disoriented him.

It was when Topper started dragging John B towards the water that (y/n) snapped and finally stepped in, consequences of getting hurt be damned, whatever Topper was about to do wasn’t good.

“Topper! Let go of him!” She cried out, and then screamed in terror as she watched him force John B’s head under the water.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation before she threw herself onto Topper’s back, trying to throw off his balance and force him away from John B. Her body weight wasn’t enough to bring him down though, and he pulled John B back up just to push him under again.

“Let him go! Let him go you dick!” (y/n) continued to scream in his ear, throwing her fists anywhere she could before Topper got annoyed of her.

“Get the fuck off me, bitch” He growled, and with ease was able to maneuver her into falling off him, her body crashing into the shallow water.

“You’ll kill him!” (y/n) cried out, kicking at his legs as she tried to get back up. “You’re going to kill him!” Her words fell on deaf ears, and now her fear had morphed into something far worse than worrying John B will get a black eye.

“JJ! Pope!” She screamed out, hoping one of the boys would be able to stop Topper from drowning John B. “Topper get the fuck off of him!”

The next part is always a little fuzzy in her memory, either because there was plenty of alcohol in her system, or because it was just too much for her brain to process at the time it happened, but suddenly JJ was there.

He had a gun in his hand, a gun that (y/n) thought he had hidden in the Chateau after he found it, but apparently he’d kept it on him.

That gun was pressed against the back of Topper’s head, and the click of JJ turning off the safety rang in everyone’s ears. Topper let go of John B.

(y/n) wouldn’t admit it, but in that moment, all she could think was thank fucking god.

Ignoring whatever JJ was saying to threaten Topper, she scrambled past them, reaching for John B and holding him up out of the water. It was then that she realized she was crying- sobbing, really- because her vision was blurry and watery while she tried to assess the damage.

“Oh- oh my god, John B,” She mumbled, her lip trembling with her words. Even her hands were shaking as they reached for his face, and then patted from his shoulders to his chest. “Oh my god, oh my fucking god”

She continued to repeat herself while John B coughed up water, unable to say anything even if he could breathe. His head was spinning and everything was fuzzy. But he could feel (y/n) grabbing at him and touching him everywhere she could.

And then three gunshots rang out, and the pair jolted, both heads turning to the sound, assuming the worst.

“Everyone get off our side of the island, now!” JJ howled.

John B sighed in relief, while Pope and Kiara yelled at JJ. He was just glad someone didn’t get shot.

His head fell forward, hitting (y/n’s) shoulder as he heaved.

Her hands smoothed up his arms, squeezing gently, prompting him to get up.

It took quiet an effort to get him to his feet, but by then Pope was at his side, helping (y/n) get him to walk.

“What the fuck happened?” Pope asked, looking over at the girl for answers.

“Rafe- and then Topper- and John B hit him-” She was still crying, and most of what she was trying to explain was incoherent, but Pope did his best to listen. “He was drowning him-” She whimpered, taking in short gasps of air after every word. “He was- he was gonna- k-kill him”

“He’ll be fine, he’ll be just fine,” Pope said, realizing that now wasn’t the best time to get details. “He just needs rest”

(y/n) nodded her head shakily, pulling John B’s arm tighter around her shoulder, her other hand pressed against his stomach, hoping that he knew she was right there for him.

They got him inside and on the sofa, where he groaned as soon as he landed on the cushions. He’d stopped coughing, and although his breathing was a bit ragged, it had at least evened out. Pope continued to assure (y/n) that he would be fine, because it didn’t seem to click for her yet.

[ i know i could lie, but i won’t lie to you // wherever i go, you’re the ghost in the room ]

Kiara ushered JJ towards the guest room, leaving Pope and (y/n) to tend to John B.

While Pope went to the kitchen to find something frozen, (y/n) dropped to her knees on the floor, grabbing hold of John B’s hand and holding it close to her chest.

“Are you okay? Does it hurt?” She murmured before pressing her lips to the back of his hand.

John B’s eyes were closed, and he didn’t bother to open them.

“When we move to Florida,” He mumbled quietly, “I’m gonna get a tattoo”

(y/n) paused for a moment, thrown off by the comment, but a second later a slight smile tugged on her lips.

“A tattoo of what?” She murmured.

Pope came back to the room with a bag of frozen vegetables. Wordlessly, (y/n) took it from him and gently laid it against John B’s bruising eye. It was red and swollen now, but by morning it was definitely going to be a dark purple.

He hissed, from the cold or pain she wasn’t sure, but she whispered softly to soothe him anyways.

“I know, it’s just for a little bit”

“Maybe a surfboard, on my ankle or somethin’,” John B finally answered her tattoo question, his jaw clenched and his teeth grinding, but he spoke through the pain anyways. “Or when we get the treasure, for every gold bar we find, I’ll tattoo it somewhere”

(y/n) forced out a light laugh, smiling at him again.

He finally opened his eyes, pleasantly surprised to see her smile, but not so delighted to see the flow of tears falling from her eyes, and the streaks already stained on her cheeks.

“You look rough honey” He muttered, lazily bringing up a hand to graze the back of his fingers over the tears.

(y/n) scoffed, rolling her eyes.

“That’s real hot coming from you” She retorted, glancing over the bruises on his body, and the split in his lip.

Pope chuckled from where he’d sat himself on the chair in the living room. He hadn’t wanted to disturb the peace that (y/n) had worked so hard to create in the atmosphere, but he was also genuinely amused by how the pair got along when no one else was around. It was much more… intimate.

“I can’t look that bad,” John B mumbled, tiredness evident in his voice. “I walked to the house, didn’t I?”

“You only got here cause Pope and I practically carried you, you baby” (y/n) reminded him. The laugh she let out was watery, but she was finally calming down enough that her tears stopped.

“Thanks for carrying me” He mumbled, his eyes falling shut again.

(y/n) just hummed in response, sitting down more comfortably.

Her free hand, the one that wasn’t holding onto his, rested against his head. Her fingers twirled around the long strands of hair, curling the brown locks before letting them go, and repeating the action. His head rolled to the side, eyes still closed as he was slowly falling asleep, but leaning more into her touch.

After a few minutes of silence, Pope got up from his seat, announcing that he was heading to bed, and if anything changed with his pain, to get him. (y/n) nodded, and thanked him quietly as he bent over to kiss the top of her head before he left the room.

Almost as soon as he was gone, John B was talking again.

“Come up here and lay with me”

“John B, you’re taking up the entire sofa,” (y/n) whispered back, laughing softly. “But I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep-”

“No,” He whined, and tugged limply on her hand. “Come lay with me and stay the whole night”

She huffed out a sigh, and his eyes opened to meet hers.

“Please?” He added hopefully.

She was silent as she gave in, standing up and crawling into the small space on the couch. John B moved as best as he could to lay on his side, his back against the cushions so that (y/n) could have just enough space to lay on her side before him.

He wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her tight so that she wouldn’t roll off in the middle of the night.

She sighed again as she rested her head against his chest, being careful to stay away from the bruises that were slowly starting to darken, but this time the soft exhale was one of content, and relief.

“It doesn’t hurt?” She murmured.

John B took the frozen vegetables off his eye, and dropped the bag somewhere on the ground carelessly.

“It’s not that bad,” He lied. “Really”

She didn’t know if she should believe him, because she knew he would lie just to ease her worries. But she decided to just nuzzle further into him, her own arm sliding around his hips, her hand splaying out flat against his back.

“I thought he was gonna fuckin’ kill you” She admitted, her voice barely a whisper, but he still heard her.

“It’s Topper, he just wanted to prove a point, (y/n/n),” John B said, even though there had been a moment where he’d thought the same thing. “You probably scared him, though. He probably thought you were gonna break his dick again”

The girl let out a small laugh. It was momentary, but it was worth it, and John B relaxed a bit against her.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” She mumbled, starting to fall asleep in his arms. “I don’t like seeing you hurt. It was stupid of you to hit him, not that he didn’t deserve it,”

She was on a bit of a confession spree, the remaining alcohol in her system mixing in with the adrenaline of the fight and her exhaustion. But John B didn’t mind, he’d stay up to listen to her talk all night.

“Someday we’ll get out of here, and never have to see him again”

That was the last thing she’d said before falling asleep, and it warmed John B’s heart. It was relieving to hear that she thought about their dream of getting off the island too, and not just to entertain him.

He told her goodnight and kissed her forehead before allowing himself to go to sleep too.

[ i know i could try looking for something new // but wherever i go, i’ll be looking for you ]

Kiara had told (y/n) a few weeks after that incident that her and the Pogues had found John B and (y/n) completely intertwined the next morning.

Apparently JJ had been the first to get up that morning, bright and early, the aches and pains that he had as consequences to fighting the night before made sure that he wasn’t able to comfortably sleep through the night.

And apparently when he’d headed for the kitchen to make breakfast, he’d come across the pair on the sofa, and just about laughed so hard he risked waking them up.

He did, however, wake Kiara and Pope.

The boys laughed into their hands while whacking each other in the sides, calling John B a simp among other teasing names.

But Kiara just smiled, silently getting a blanket from John B’s bedroom and covering the two.

(y/n) was completely wrapped up in John B’s arms, her head buried in the crook of his neck and both of her legs tangled with one of his. While John B was peacefully snoring, head resting against hers.

It was kind of a miracle that his snoring alone didn’t wake up (y/n). It wasn’t that loud, but it definitely wasn’t soft, and it was right next to her ear. Kiara thought it was adorable that the two slept so perfectly in each other’s arms.

When she’d told (y/n) about it, the girl blushed and had a hard time keeping eye contact. She was adamant about staring down at her shoes and insisting that there was nothing between them.

But deep down, she got butterflies just thinking about cuddling up with John B again.

It was a good memory, despite the fight and Topper being a psychopath, when (y/n) looked back on it, it made her feel soft inside.

[ you think it’s a lie when i’m telling the truth // wherever i go i’ll be looking for you ]

“John B! Wait!”

The shriek was desperate. It was tearful and fearful, full of pure terror and worry. It was also hopeful, and it was relieved, but it was mostly desperate.

As (y/n) came up to the dock on JJ’s dirtbike, driving terribly as her balance was shit and she didn’t technically have a license so her ability was already in the toilet, the whole gang swiveled in surprise, not having expected to see her.

John B especially, he had been trying to prepare himself for the fact that he might never see her again, but here she was, nearly crashing the bike as she came to a stop, and throwing JJ’s helmet to the ground.

“Hey!” JJ shouted, quickly grabbing the gear and dusting off the dirt.

(y/n) practically scrambled to get off the bike, careless letting it fall to the ground as she swung her leg over it, and then sprinted towards her outlaw of a best friend.

“You were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?” She spoke breathlessly, her arms already extended for him before she actually reached him.

But John B was quicker than her, lunging forward and literally scooping her up in his arms, hugging her tightly. (y/n’s) feet couldn’t touch the ground, but she didn’t care, she reciprocated the tight embrace, beyond thankful that she got to him in time.

“I didn’t want to leave without seeing you,” He mumbled, burying his face in her hair as he set her back down on the ground. (y/n) could tell he was crying. “I thought you weren’t going to make it in time, I thought-”

“John B,”

(y/n) pulled him away, her hands cupping his face as she smiled at him, her grin stretching ear to ear, and tears shined in her own eyes as well. He smiled back at her, letting out a sigh of relief. Bittersweet relief, as he would still have to leave her in a minute, but at least he got to look at her one last time. Maybe he could memorize her face, so that when he got lonely on the other side of the border he could think of her, and imagine she was there with him.

(y/n) didn’t say anything, just pulled him down to be level with her, and then pressed her lips against his.

It was a fast kiss, harsh and desperate, just like her arrival, but it was everything either of them needed.

His hands had a tight grip on her waist before trailing lower, pulling her roughly into his chest. If this was the last time he saw her, and this was the only chance he’d get at kissing her, he was gonna have to make it worth it.

Pope and Kiara quickly averted their gaze, and JJ let out a low whistle in amusement.

Finally, they parted, only because they needed air, and because John B knew his time for getting away was running out.

(y/n’s) forehead was glued to his, her hands still splayed over his face, nose still pushed up against his, it was like she couldn’t bear to ever be apart from him again.

And she couldn’t.

“You’re not leaving without me” She murmured.

John B sharply pulled away then, his brows furrowed as his eyes flickered over her features, assessing her expression to make sure she was serious.

When she shrugged the backpack of her shoulders to show him that it was very full, definitely with more than the things he’d asked her to get from the Chateau, his eyes blew wide.

“Really?” He asked, full of hope and excitement, but then the reality of her choice hit him. “Are you sure?”

“I’m sure” (y/n) nodded affirmatively.

“I’ll be on the run- probably for the rest of my life, I could get picked up and arrested at any moment-”

“We’ll be on the run together then,” (y/n) told him, voice unwavering. He could tell that she was being as genuine as she could be. “I love you. And I don’t ever want to be apart again” She stated.

John B’s smile returned, and he nodded his head back at her.

(y/n) hugged the Pogues as quickly as she could, crying out her last goodbyes, and as the sound of sirens grew nearer, her and John B hastily made their way onto the speedboat.

It was difficult saying goodbye, but they had a good feeling this wasn’t the end. Their story had only just started, and they’d only hit the tip of the greatest adventure of their lives.

As John B expertly sped off into the storm, he pulled (y/n) into his side, kissing her cheek affectionately.

“I know the plan was Florida,” He told her, “But how do you feel about the Bahamas?”

She grinned back at him.

“I’ll follow you wherever you go”

[ wherever i go, i’ll be looking for you ] ___

idk what this was, just wanted to write it so i did

xoxo ~ jordie

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #John b #John b x reader #John b scenario #John b imagine #John b fanfiction #John b routledge #John b routledge x reader #John b routledge imagine #John b routledge scenario #John b routledge fanfiction

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takerfoxx · 3 years

Text

Jurassic Park 4: Doki Idol Live Festival!

magic5ball submitted:

Remember how you asked me about my idea for a Jurassic Park sequel? Well, here you go:

The two velociraptors stood outside a pastel colored town house in Hokkaido prefecture, Japan. If any passerbys thought that was weird, they certainly didn’t show it. Probably because the raptors were wearing fedoras and fake mustaches, so they looked like humans. Also they had guns. Very cool, very intimidating mobster guns. A tommy gun and a sawed-off shotgun, respectively.

You needed guns, to survive Shinzo Abe’s little empire of vice and socialized medical care.

“So this is the place, huh?” muttered the velociraptor carrying the sawed-off shotgun. His thick Brooklyn accent hung in the air like concrete. “Kinda… frillier than I was expecting.”

“It better be.” Replied his companion, who sounded like your racist conservative uncle trying to impersonate that one cool guy from ‘The Godfather’ (You know, the one with the mustache who was played by Robert de Niro). “We hadda kill a whole lotta people to get this hellhole.”

Sawed-off shotgun licked his non-existent lizard lips

“But hey. That airplane stewardess tasted mighty fine goin-“

“Oh, for f*ck’s sake, would ya stop thinkin’ with your stomach and help me with this f*ckin’ knob!” cried tommy gun, trying to work the doorknob best he could with his raptor claws, which, in all honesty, wasn’t much, because raptor claws are terrible at operating things meant for human fingers. Little did he know, the door was a ‘pull’, not a ‘push.

At least he didn’t have to wait long before someone unlocked the door from the other side: another velociraptor, this one a bit on the short side. And p!ssed. Very, very p!ssed. You could tell he was the cool one because he wore an eyepatch over one eye. An eyepatch with a Captain Underpants logo on it.

“Didn’t your parent’s ever teach you idiots about using the doorbell?! I was just about to enjoy lunch with my beautiful wife and you-!“

He paused, recognizing the two figures facing him.

“Well, well, well” Said tommy gun, cocking his weapon “If it isn’t SWEET JOHN HAMMOND’S BALLSACK WHAT THE F*CK AM I LOOKING AT?!”

For the cool raptor was dressed in a gothic Lolita maid outfit, complete with a bonnet and penny loafers. Under his arm he carried a human sized pillow depicting what appeared to be a blonde floozy with massive tits.

“Oh this? This is Mami Tomoe, my beautiful wife.”

“WHAT THE F*CK!?!?” Tommy gun pulled out a flask off orange Fanta from his butthole and drank the whole thing in one go. He did NOT have time for this homosexual weeaboo nonsense! Still, he and shotgun hadn’t left a mountain of corpses the exact height and width as Mt. Fuji behind them. Too many to go back to Isla Nublar empty handed. Er, clawed. Because they were dinosaurs. Who have claws.

Shotgun took a deep breath. “What the Boss means to say is, ‘May we take refuge in this fine establishment?’”

Cool raptor opened his mouth to reveal a pistol he’d hidden there. And by hidden I mean replaced his tongue with it.

“You know, for all crap you guys used to give me in the past, I oughta pump you full of lead right here and now. Buuutttt… the lady of the house is present, and I’m not in the mood to create more work on her end. So come on in! You’re just in time for lunch.”

Lest they attract unneeded attention, the three dinosaurs hopped inside.

. . .

Lunch was omurice boba tea with a bottle of teriyaki sauce on the side. It was just boba tea, but the boba had been replaced by omurice because F-Bomb hated the flavor of boba, which he likened to rabbit crap. The teriyaki sauce was teriyaki sauce.

It was the most racist thing shotgun had ever eaten.

“Well, now that you jerks have gotten a taste of my sloppy seconds, I suppose some introductions are in order. You’ve already met my lovely wife” Cool raptor gestured to the body pillow seated next to him “So that leaves you two. Mami, meet A-Hole and D-Bag. A-Hole’s got the tommy gun, D-Bag is ridin’ her sawed off shotgun, as always. They’re old… acquaintances of mine.”

“He.” Corrected D-Bag. “I’ve been using he/him pronouns six months now.”

“Well that’s an improvement. Now instead of bein’ the Boss’ side B!tch literally, you’re just his b!tch figuratively!”

“Well screw you too, F-Bomb!” laughed the boss. “An’ speakin’ of screwing, what’s with the fruity get up? You a prostitute now or something?”

“Even better! This might surprise you, but I’ve got legitimate work now. This here’s my uniform, my uniform for MILF TIDDIES!”

A-Hole chugged his entire bottle of teriyaki sauce in one go, lest his mind implode from the sheer stupidity of that sentence.

“The Hell’s a milf tiddie!?”

“Only the best freakin’ maid café in Hoikaido, hookers!”

He gestured to a wall, covered in hundreds of photos of cute floozies dressed like they were attending a vampire’s funeral. Among them was a photo of F-Bomb in his drag, serving a deep fried hot dog to some elderly Japanese dude.

“As you can see, yours truly is serving Japan’s national desert to none other than 57th Prime Minister of Japan Shinzo Abe!”

“Hold it up. Youse been hobnobbing it with politicians?!”

“I wish! You’re thinking of Shinzo Abe, 57th Prime Minister of Japan. This guy is his twin brother. Still pretty sweet though. We DID win a Grammy for that, after all.”

A-Holes eyes bulged out of his scaly raptor head.

“YOUSE WON A GRAMMY FOR THAT?!”

“Dang right! Milf Tiddies has won sixteen Grammys since I started working there!” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket. A very special piece of paper, if the six holes punched into it were any indication. “Did you know that if you win ten Grammys in a row, they give you a free orphan? That’s how the wife and I got our glorious daughter, Lil’ Nagisa!”

F-Bomb pulled a faded photo out of his wallet. A photo showing himself, his pillow wife, and a smaller body pillow of a ten-year-old moeblob wearing a Green Bay Packers cheesehead helmet.

“So youse couldn’t even conceive your own kid?” Inquired D-Bag sexily. He was munching his omurice slowly, so F-Bomb knew he was being serious.

“Are you implying I have sex with my own wife, you sick freak?! I’m a weeaboo, not some degenerate anime fanboy! Get it straight!” He instinctively cocked the pistol in his throat. It was awesome as hell.

In response, D-Bag pumped his shotgun. Loudly.

“Permission to put the sick freak out of his misery, Boss?”

“Firstly, don’t call me Boss when we’re not having anal sex. Second, no can do, my spicy lover. We need F-Bomb alive.”

F-Bomb heard all of this even though A-Hole whispered it, but he pretended not to make A-Hole feel clever.

D-Bag mumbled about how the Boss was lucky he was so mind blowing in the sack, otherwise he would have left the relationship long ago. The sack in this case being a really kinky sex dungeon. Like really kinky. So kinky even Donald Trump wouldn’t go within a mile of it. D-Bag had almost died of autoerotic asphyxiation more times than I’ve gone to the bathroom in my lifetime. That’s why he was the smartest dinosaur out of the three of them. Now where was I again?

Anyway, F-Bomb interrogated

“Alright guys, what’s the deal? I know folks who come to this socialized medical care infested hellhole, and they don’t come here just to eat omurice boba tea. You WANT me for something.”

He cocked his mouth-pistol again. Sparks flew all over the carpet, which was made of alpaca fur so it didn’t catch fire.

A-Hole scandalously kept his cool.

“It’s about Isla Nublar.”

The second those words left A-Hole’s lips, F-Bomb escorted his wife out of the kitchen, but leaned her against the kitchen door, because that’s what she would have wanted.

“Well what about it? I told ya guys, I’m done with that dump.”

“They’re puttin’ the screws on us, F-Bomb. Making us pay for eating those tourists back in the nineties.”

“And what makes you think I care? Like I said, I’m done with that place. I got a wife and kid now.”

“But F-Bomb, doesn’t the Park mean ANYTHING to ya!? What about the time we ate that park ranger that called you a girl? ‘Better than sex’ I recall you saying.”

“Nice try, but I’m not exactly in the mood to get misgendered again. Don’t you guys got any ideas that don’t involve me?”

“As a matter of fact, yours truly had this really spectacular one!”

D-Bag did a hand gesture wherein he constantly crossed his dinosaur claws across his throat rapidly in quick succession. A-Hole, being very smart, knew this meant he should continue, loudly enough so that everyone in the prefecture could hear.

“It was called ‘Trump Ballz’. We’d harvest Donald Trump’s testicles, see, and sell them to the highest bidder, so they could do whatever people do with lopped off testicles. I’m not one to judge. It was a terrific idea. I know because when I told my best friend Donald Trump about it, he said, ‘A-Hole, this is an incredible idea. Absolutely terrific! This is probably the best idea in America! You are very smart, very intelligent dinosaur! I oughta buy you a prostitute!’ Of course, we didn’t realize that Trump’s ballz don’t grow back when you lop them off. Did you know that by the way? Human testicles don’t grow back-“

F-Bomb cocked the pistol inside his throat gain, getting the Boss to shut up. This was probably the most heroic thing anyone had ever done in the history of the universe. He also asked a question:

“SO WHAT THE HECK DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME?!”

A-Hole vomited a severed arm and a pamphlet onto the table.

“EVERYTHING, ya WEEB trash!”

The pamphlet was for something called the Doki Idol Live Fest- DILF, for short. F-Bomb was no stranger to the DILF, but they had parted ways years ago. Six, to be exact, when he had buried Nico Yazawa’s still screaming corpse by the side of the highway. And neither was he stranger to the prize.

It looked like a beer and soda drinking baseball cap, but only to complete idiots who didn’t know crap about the Idol Life.

And F-Bomb wasn’t one of those people, er dinosaurs.

“THE MCGUFFIN OF SIN?!”

“Dam* straight! And like it or not, youse the only one with enough idol know-how to help us win it! Thing’s worth, like, a zillion dollars.”

A zillion in this case was equivalent to half a million. Still, isn’t that impressive?

F-Bomb stuck his nose in his omurice and snorted, a common intimidation tactic among velociraptors. I know because I read it in the Scientific American.

“Sorry, guys, but even with that on the line, no can do. I’m DONE with the Idol Life, any I’m not letting you filthy casuals drag me back in.” He cocked the pistol in his throat. “NOW SCRAM!”

A-Hole and D-Bag jumped out a window, so they could get the jump on a feral dog humping its’ owner. Nobody realized they were dinosaurs because of their fake mustaches, so it looked like a pair of mobsters were eating a puppy.

When they were gone, F-Bomb pranced to the bathroom, which was filled with plush alpacas he had collected over the years. So many, in fact, the bathroom did not meet OSHA compliance. Which was why F-Bomb had made it an independent nation state, only to realize that OSHA didn’t apply to him anyway, since he lived in Japan.

He had felt really stupid after that, but at least he got his own country out of it.

Anyway, he vomited sixteen liters of blood into the sink, for F-Bomb had a secret: he was dying. Back when he was a fetus in an egg in a lab on some island in the Caribean, he’d become addicted to the illegal street drug known as WEEB, and frequent use had poisoned his lungs. The doctors had given him Socialized Medical Care and four more years to live. The WEEB had taken eighty years off his life. Socialized Medical Care had borrowed his lawnmower and never given it back.

But F-Bomb also had a dream: he and his wife were going to build their own maid café, and it would be even better than MILF Tiddies. He’d already picked a title: DILF Tiddies, and it was going to be the greatest food-selling establishment in the history of Japan. Omurice boba tea was going to go global. But he’d never get the funds on time, not on his meager salary. Unless…

His beautiful wife greeted him as he exited the bathroom.

“Get a pen and some razor blades, sweetgums. I’ve got a letter to send.”

. . .

The message arrived in the neck of a mailman’s severed head. This is the traditional way velociraptors send letters to each other. I read it in a book.

D-Bag didn’t see the letter, but the look on A-Hole’s face told him everything.

“What’d I tell ya, D-Bag? Like I always say, when you’re dino you’re dino all the way, till youse dead in the ground or youse come out as gay!”

“Yeah, we really need to update those lyrics.”

End Chapter 1

...I cannot for the life of me decide if this is the greatest thing I've ever seen or the worst, but it at the very least had me staring speechless at my computer screen for a long time.

#submission #jurassic park #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm #well then

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