#I wanna know what's up with her I have mad respect for her leaving mid convo

[miru-mu]

bouncing off the walls from our session today, we talked to people who're living inside a dead god which we found out THEY KILLED, had to make a hasty retreat as the dead god meat grew around our ship, and then landed on our witch's previous coven HQ expecting the worst but getting??? a very warm welcome????

[kissmethroughthebone]

Now for the witchy people.....

I've been going through it. Had recently been banned from a favorite social spot of mine, since some predators (and enablers) in the scene wanted me away. Not a total loss, just a surprise AND embarrassing.

But its like... Oh no. I can't go to an open mic with a low turnout and rats any more to watch mid comedians perform? Oh pooh!

And fresh out of an abusive relationship, where the ex actually had texted me a large essay about all they hate about me. (Also not a loss, because I left him for SA related reasons and an overall sex addiction paired with a lack of accountability or safety.)

Cry me a river sir, I set a boundary after I was already having you on thin ice in my head. And you broke the ice, and can drown.

[Post-abusive relationship brain = sometimes your brain had allowed people around too long, since you saw endearing qualities or had seen potential or good moments.... But I was finally taking off the rose colored glasses.] He was all mad that I didn't wanna talk about sex with him, even as a joke, and decided a tantrum and name slinging was appropriate, and blocked me everywhere. And now is mad that a month later, I've had a lot of fun without him and any tactics to re-enter are failing. Nananana booboo. Womp womp.

And the new guy I casually saw put me in a situation where I had been attacked by his ex, FIRST thing in the morning. (An EX. As in, broken up, not even dating any more. You could tell she still loved him since she was putting her hands on me and not HIM.)

Like maam! I don't even know your name! And this is not even a man I am serious with! What the fuck?!

(I backhanded the shit out of her, though. The difference between me and her is, I fought her out of self respect and defense. She fought me over a white twink with a good job and a big dick moving on from her faster than she wanted. And that is not my issue.)

And my housemate is of course leaving the bathroom reeking even with incense around, and has dishes in the sink that have been there since about February.

They make the house reek of cat food, and we don't even have a cat. Their dish water is just getting yellow, thick and murky, like some sort of weird egg drop soup mixed with a roux. (Ew!)

I also have been drained more often. I know, some stuff can be resolved with more water, some probiotics, some walks, reading, drawing, dancing, and more random impromptu social outings...

But I am also a tad tired of feeling like there's a mental blockage preventing me from my goals and self esteem actually flourishing again.

Anyone able to suggest any spells for me?

Any spells, routines, candle work, chakra stuff, tarot readings, anything? Affirmations are also wonderful, and I like spells just to add an extra oomph of reassurance that it's all gonna go great.

Any spells like:

1. Attraction Spell for Wealthy Safe Partners (I want to date people who are aligned with my life and goals and provide exactly what I am aiming for; paid bills, thoughtful intentional gifts, and invested in projects that I flourish in!)

2. Friendship Magnet Spell (I want followers and friends that are good energied but still a tad edgy enough that we align perfectly well, and to be a magnet to those who are great for me and healthy. And not just fake ones, like actually going out to events, being and feeling heard, aligned socially and emotionally and mentally! And talking consistently! That good stuff!)

3. Clarity and Focus Spell (so I can not be distracted midway through a task, 45 times a day, and somehow get 1% done in 45 things and yet nothing done at all.... also, energy to get up and go without any hesitation)

4. Health and Vitality Spell (because it would be great if my legs, back, spine, head, neck, arms, hips, pussy, feet, and brain all could work together and make an amazingly functioning human that can actually walk in public and have an easy time existing)

5. Protection Spell Against Negative Energies (because whew, that was... a lot! And Florida Water hasn't stopped shit. Here I was, manifesting peace and protection from vile energies, and I still got harmed TWICE, once from a pest [a rat scratched me], and another from another type of pest; a shrew! And her nails were even LONGER, and hair even of worse quality! Aliexpress ass wig!)

[i-need-air]

Oh-- I really really -really- liked your wolf hybrid Bakugou and-- if you don't mind, can you do one on Kirishima? Just the general headcanons, if this is too bothersome then you can ignore this once again- thank you

Just general headcanons you say? Okay, I had this written 2k words in before I got this ask and now it's at... ehem, let me take a deep breath for this;

Word count: 3.5k 💀 [of HCs 💀💀💀]

Why do I keep doing this to myself aksdjkd I love Kiri so much, my god! Thanks for the ask!! 💗

[ Masterlist ]

Hybrid!AU Kirishima Eijirou HCs

× i mentioned him as a dog hybrid and we're sticking with it because it just feels right, yano? anyway!

× you found out about how the new hybrid shelter in your city helped bust a fighting ring

× which was horrifying to think about

× one of your friends explained the process to you and you were definitely interested in helping someone out

× shelters were still underfunded and didn't provide much to help the hybrids adapt to society

× so you found yourself in front of the shelter without a plan

× just a dream and a spare couch that could thankfully convert into a bed

× before you could chicken out you stormed through the doors like a mad person, catching the attention of the guards and the front desk man

× it surprised you how disinterested they were though; were they seriously the people that dismantled a whole illegal fighting ring?

× they called a sweet old lady to accompany you

× when you explained your situation her eyes sparkled, looking you up and down and nodding her head

× she took you through some hallways, showing you around the precinct, questioning you about what type of hybrid you'd want

× to which you honestly didn't know how to respond, like anyone you could help????

× it kinda pissed you off how she spoke about the hybrids like they were pets, suggesting you'd get a kitty or a bunny, since [her words] they were low maintenance

× is this really a good shelter?

× you looked around, finding prison like cells left and right, some with people that looked at you curiously, some covering from your glance

× they were locked in...

× some growling could be heard far away but the woman shook her head at you, disapproving gaze turned to the side as she took you further into the building

× another room, this time cells were bigger, a few occupied, yet covered from you, indiferent and uninterested

× a man was sitting on the edge of the bed, hands in his hair

× "Kirishima, boy, get up to greet someone"

× his red eyes snapped up, whatever he was thinking about slowly forgotten

× he blinked curiously as you hugged your frame, feeling uncomfortable, even ashamed to be there

× but a sweet smile took over his features

× "Hey! I'm Kirishima Eijirou!"

× it's really all it took for you to grow fond of him; he got up and came closer to the entrance of the cell and introduced himself in such easy-going manner you forgot about everything and anything

× he calmed you with his presence, even if it was very disheveled, with old ripped clothes and hair messy, painted red with obvious dark roots showing

× he had a black fluffy tail waving slowly behind him too

× you introduce yourself with his encouragement and mumbled how you wanted to help someone out today

× he just smiled at you, taking you in

× let me tell you something about dog hybrids: they can sense emotions and intentions so Kiri would be a very good judge of character and he really, genuinely took a liking on you

× the problem is how the fuck do you say out loud that you wanted to help him out

× because you sure as hell weren't going to say you'd adopt him; he's not a child? we're talking about a grown ass man here? literally looked like 6'4ft/1.95m?????

× it was so shameful, your gut turned as you cursed society and he sensed it, expression changing, falling a little as he saw you look very out of place

× "Hey, hey, everything's gonna be fine!" he said

× he told YOU that

× instead of YOU telling HIM those words;;; you almost burst into ugly crying, forgetting about everything else, your minuscule problems or shame or whatever and just nodded at him

× "Would you like to come home with me, Kirishima?" you said, ignoring the happy clapping the old lady was doing, watching carefully how his expression, clear as water, switched from easy-going and reassuring to shocked then hopeful

× "I'd like that" he breathed out "—a lot."

× as you went out the lady was telling him it was a shame they separated his group of friends, something about being sent to different shelters, how he had to be a good boy, to behave, yada-yada and seriously;;; he was taking it so lightheartedly, as if he was so used to this behavior or even was thankful for it?

× it was starting to get annoying, specially when they gave you a collar for him, like no fucking thanks, but you'd take care of it later

× since it was very random and unplanned, you were making mental gymnastics to figure out what to get and what to do first, like clothes, food—

× journey home was pleasant as he walked close to you, asking you questions about yourself with a gentle smile on his features

× meanwhile people got out of both your ways because he was intimidating and big and large but his smile screamed sunshine

× all while he never really mentioned anything about himself

× you made a point to ask him if he was hungry, to grab a quick bite at any restaurant you could get at then go buy some clothes and necessities

× you were so casual and this guy was so shocked

× i swear, looks at you blinking stupidly then ✨beams✨

× spoiler alert; big boy was hungry

× it didn't matter honestly, just seeing him eat without a worry [even if everyone at the restaurant was wary of him but got a stink eye from you] was a relief

× since you answered his questions about you, you decided to ask some about him; you were going to be roomies soon so might as well get to know each other

× shocked again

× stops mid-bite when you ask him something and stares wide-eyed

× doesn't answer but you can see he wants to and you're confused??

× "did I—... did I say something wrong?" you'd press, scared you'd spook him away or something

× he just gulps down and looks ashamed

× casually tells you they've been told at the shelter owners don't care about them

× 🙃 say what now bby?

× he kinda starts apologizing because he understands why you wouldn't wanna know and you put your hand on his; kinda mutes him for a second

× "Kirishima, we're gonna live together and hopefully be friends in the process, right? I'd like to know about you, as much as you're willing to tell me"

× [ falls in love right then and there ]

× he's met humans before, many actually—

× even in the short weeks he's been at the shelter he's seen people come and go and none talked to him like you did

× stares with stars in his eyes and chuckles awkwardly, blush on his face

× "You're really nice, [Y/N]" he said before eagerly answering your questions; course, it leaves you confused lmfao but you brush past it

× okay! shopping next, long story short it was very hard to find hybrid clothes for his size so you pick to change human clothes and adjust them for him

× as you again mention this stuff casually he's just awestruck

× when you got home, bags in hand, you were explaining to him how you really didn't have much; you were working to get a promotion soon but for now you had a couch that could open up into a very comfy bed, which he assured you it was enough

× you were lowkey unsure if he fit it because like i mentioned, big boi is big

× he does! so that's a relief but you started considering giving him your bed; you mostly fell asleep on the couch anyway and to be fair, it was really comfortable and you mention it as he looks around

× his head snaps at you, wide eyed, yet does not talk

× so you ramble bc that's something fun to do! "I mean I went to the shelter without a plan and uh, I want you to feel as comfortable as possible and maybe the bed is a better fit and—"

× Kirishima Eijirou sees: 💕💞💕💞💕💞💕

× has never been treated like this, like he's an... equal... something he'll take months to share with you, but we're getting ahead of ourselves

× the thing is this boy will fall pretty hard pretty fast, but will definitely take time to make a move

× bc he is respectful

× so he thanks you for the offer and tells you it's probably the best place he slept in all his life

× can your heart stop breaking for him? i mean it's a good couch but it's no luxury hotel bed???

× [ we need to pause, OP made herself sad ]

× ok, so he's really helpful around the house, and he knows how to cook!

× takes no time to talk about his friends, special his best friend that cooked for everyone at the fighting ring and forced them all to help and that's how he was pretty decent at cooking himself

× wasn't the best though, but followed instructions like a boss

× he lives for your compliments

× literally his tail wiggles with no shame

× seriously;; tell him he did a good job even at the dumbest thing and—

× puffs chest

× wiggle-wiggle

× "Thanks!"

× 🥺💕💞 make him stop, he's so cute

× did i mention he has like floppy black ears? Omg his earsssssssssshnnngggggggggg

× because they move whenever he walks and they're mesmerizing

× and one day that you're observing them for science [not because your heart was like 💘pom-pom💘] you noticed his roots

× remember when your heart broke for him? hah, have some more because as you asked him, he started telling you that he was pushed into dying his hair red for the spectacle, diversity and what-not

× reassured you he grew to love it now, being part of who he is

× also gets a little bit shy when adding he wouldn't want to change the color in hopes of finding his friends someday and for him to be easily recognizable

× you bought him hair dye that same day

× WHICH! apart from gaining extra 🥺💕💞 from him, it created a nice routine between you two!!

× you offered to dye his hair and it was such a great time; he made you laugh, conversation going just as easy whenever you talked, you got to know each other a little bit more and—

× heh

× at the end, after applying all the red hair dye, you massaged his scalp gently

× guess who melts in your hands? yes, giant ass dog-man melts into a puddle under your hands and it's the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen

× I'm serious, he sighs and leans into your gloved hands with zero [0] shame, eyes closed and peaceful expression on his features apart from a small smile

× you tease him and he laughs it off, but promise him you'd give him head scratches when he was finished with the dye, washed off and hair dry

× and you better deliver

× "Don't think I forgot!" he'd say as he'd hop on his make-shift bed in the living room by your side, tail moving from side to side

× as you start playing with his locks, he falls into your lap and starts snoring

× move an inch and he opens his eyes to look at you confused

× puppy eyes questioning you if you're leaving 🥺

× yep, you fall asleep together

× you point out to yourself that those puppy eyes will be the death of you

× he's a touchy guy, okay? since he's been touchy with you from the very start you never questioned it, even read on the internet that many hybrids descended from house pets need physical affection, like hugs, pats, scratches, all the bag, so it wasn't a big deal for you

× except it was a big deal because he's been around for a month and you're already catching feelings and that's bad because you did not bring him there to fall for him but to help him start a new life and—

× oh my god, what if he thought you were one of those people from the horror stories about hybrid adoption that only wanted them for one thing—

× no, no, no, nO, NO.

× anxiety was getting to you as the guilt of catching feelings for him, plus the fact that he was financially dependant on you for the time which would've made it even worse if he found out, PLUS he comes from such a rough life, he definitely needs a break and doesn't need his first human friend in forever to be a piece of;;;

× Kiri catches on this really constant and increasing feeling of anxiety; he starts to send you worried glances but doesn't know how to proceed

× in such a soft voice he asks if you're okay, if something is on your mind

× and since you weren't sharing anything but acted as if everything was alright even when he felt you lied, Kiri started to get worried too

× why were you anxious? why weren't you talking to him about it?

× oh, god, was he a burden? because he felt like one;;; did you want him out? he felt like an extra weight for you and wanted to do something about it but maybe you got sick of him? he felt unmanly...

× the fact that he knew he cared about you as more than just a friend made him even more anxious and it didn't help that whenever he touched you he heard your breath hitch or your heart beating louder; he got his hopes up then down because

× you smelled like people; people he didn't know, people he wanted to know because he needed to know why did you smell like them? were they a treat? were they potential partners? he really did not want to ask bc Kirishima felt like it wasn't his place to know

× as tension grew in the house you decided to gift him a new phone, ready to give him some news that reached your ears

× it seems Kiri himself liked to do sports and mainly jog to keep himself active and he's started to pass by the local dog-park to play with the dogs

× imagine your surprise when a few neighbors asked you if he'd be willing to train their dogs bc he's been teaching them stuff like once a week and the dogs listened

× big time dog whisperer; he says "Sit" to one dog and all dogs in the neighborhood sit too, you get me?

× so you said it would be nice for him to have his own money; not like you didn't help him without care, but you saw his face every time you bought something for him and really felt like he needed some real independence

× he's in ✨awe✨ because you came up with clients already that were very eager for dog training sessions, which he loved??? and suggested hours, wages??????

× and you gave him this new phone to help him with it if he's interested too?

× "Well, the normal price on the internet around the area is—"

× "[Y/N]."

× "Hmm?"

× "You're really amazing, you know that, right?" he'd have his lips curled into a sweet smile

× which makes your heart go crazy and this man notices how you get flustered

× loves it

× get ready for compliments; a lot of compliments just expecting your sweet flustered reactions

× he's slow at realizing your feelings for him because he beats himself down and seems himself as less of a man but tests the waters nonetheless and a d o r e s every time you struggle to thank him for said compliments and don't know how to continue functioning

× catches on and gets his hopes up

× and so you do

× listen, this is hilarious because you're both dumb idiots and want to be respectful towards the other meanwhile he hugs you tighter and for a little bit too long, loving how you melt into him, kisses you on the cheek and sees you get all flustered, looks at you like you're the only one to ever matter until you stop talking, turning everything into a giant mess of silence until you both grin at each other???? I'm getting second-hand embarrassment, just kiss???????

× and it happened with an accidental kiss

× you greeted him as he walked through the door, excited to tell him about your promotion, rambling about the take-out you ordered while he smiled at you

× and it started to be usual for you to greet him with a kiss on the cheek, right? just what normal roomies do, you know [mhmm~]

× he's taking his shoes off and knows the kiss is coming, but just before you press it on his cheek you whisper/squeal "I got the promotion!" to which he turns his head in surprise at you making your lips press together by accident [mhhhmmmmm~~~]

× cue both of you apologizing, looking like a mess

× he's blushing

× you both loved it

× why are you standing so close to each other?

× why did he lick his lips in daze while staring at yours?

× which one of you was leaning in for another kiss?

× it didn't really matter because he's kissing you slowly, taking you into his arms like you were made of porcelain

× glues his body to yours and breathes you in, lips locked, neither believing it was real

× lifts you up in his arms with no difficulty and smiles, both inches separated from another; "Congratulations..." his breath would fan over your face;;;;

× yeah, okay, he takes no time to confess, resulting in a mess of manly words skdjekldj you guys talked that whole night while cuddling and stealing kisses, you on his lap

× [ his nose brushing your neck; he loves your scent omg ]

× it becomes official pretty much instantly and then all your worries wash away

× all the anxiety, all the stress and overthinking, they've all been sorted out in one night and trust me, afterwards this man is pure honesty and loyalty

× he won't hesitate to talk to you about anything and will be such a patient sweetheart with you, listening to every word you say without judgment

× loves cheesy stuff? as in the most cliché stuff seen in movies? that's his shit right there; whenever you two see each other after some time apart [sometimes 5 minutes apart] he'd pick you in his arms and spin you around, then expect you to kiss him

× if you don't, i will skfjdkfk step aside 👀

× skin contact; please, touch him

× if you're not he sends you those famous puppy eyes and we all know they're killer

× sighs, happy to hold you tight against him, engulfing you into his big frame; yeah, you're where you belong, in his arms.

× everyone in the neighborhood loves him; it's ridiculous, seriously, because you find out he helped around all the time when you were at work and gained everyone's love

× makes an instagram account to teach people how to train their dog and becomes an internet sensation, a small celebrity

× also bc he's hot and sometimes posts working out pics

× skdksjs imagine this: makes dinner for both of you, lits up some candles, goes all in, then fucking posts it on ig saying "waiting for my baby to come home #surprise" forgetting you can see it lmfao

× you see the story on your way home and 🥺💞 "ye i love his oblivious ass"

× soft gasps when you tell him after dinner

× has the audacity to be surprised, like babe????

× Kaminari finds him through social media and this baby cries in relief for a good half an hour

× both team up to find all the gang

× guess who talks praises about you all the time? mhm, this guy right here is proud to have you

× and Denki has to deal with it;

× anywho! want to break him for good? tell him you love him for the first time

× GETS. SO. EXCITED. AND. EMOTIONAL.

× but forgets how to speak

× finds his words to say it back after staring at you entranced, grinning like an idiot, taking you in his arms and giving you a bone crushing hug while shaking in place

× he's never felt this loved and adores every second of it

× you're like a drug and he's deep gone, man

× tells you he loves you every single day

[mizunetzu]

Hi!! Can I make a request were the reader is Aiwaza's children and they had behaved bad or anything like that and Shouta made they stayed on his class as punishment, were he can keep an eye on them (like sitting on his desk doing homework), but 1A doesn't know that the reader are Aiwaza's kid and the reader flirt whit someone in 1A (can be anyone that you want) an then they discover the truth. Sorry if it's confuse and for my bad english!!

It’s alright!! English is a hard language lmaooo

——————

Platonic! Aizawas kid meets 1-A

⚠️warnings - no relationship, platonic

Pronouns - genderneutral, they/them

——————

Boom.

“Ah, shit” the person cursed, as they eyed the now shattered 8 dollar lamp on the ground, the light flickering on and off until it fizzled out. Shinsou snickered and looked up from the couch.

“Dads gonna kill you,”

“Shut up, dude-help me-“

The door to the bedroom opened, making (y/n) and Shinsou flinch. Aizawa stepped out menacingly, with his hair floating past his ears. The red glow of his eyes shut up Shinsou and (y/n) quickly, permitting him to speak.

“Who-“

“Before you say anything, (y/n) did it.”

“SHINSOU YOU SIDE FUCKER YOU-“

“LANGUAGE!” Aizawa butt in, eyes flashing a brighter shade of red, before fading out to black. He rubbed his temple harshly. “Okay, I’m not mad, but this is the third time I had to replace that lamp, (y/n).”

“But-I-“

“And don’t say it’s because of your quirk, that you ‘can’t help it’. I’m helping you and Shinsou transfer out of General studies, you should have your quick under control by now.” (Y/n) opened their mouth to speak, but closed it silently.

“Tomorrow, you’re doing your work in my class. I’m having your teacher send the work into my class in advance so you can do the work on my desk.”

“Wait-but Madam movement-sensei would never let you do that!”

Aizawa pulled out his phone from the back pocket of his neko sweatpants, holding it up to show a string of emails from the 1-C teacher herself.

“Actually, we’ve been discussing it for a while. You’ve been lacking in participation in your class, but it seems like you know your subjects and pass them easily. Therefore, you’ll be spending time in my classroom where I can make sure you aren’t cheating or anything.”

Shinsou stifled a snicker in between his sleeves, earning a side glare from (y/n). “But-I’m not cheating!”

“Then there should be no problem, then.”

——————

(Y/n) grumbled angrily as they walked side by side their unofficial brother, Shinsou. “Dude, it’s just one day in another class-how hard can it be?”

“Have you seen the mess of the hero department? I don’t wanna be a part of that! Not yet at least!” (Y/n) piped up, louder than they meant to. A girl with pink skin, and a boy with yellow hair, perked their ears up. “I can’t believe I’m leaving General Studies for this...” (y/n) rubbed at their temples, a trait they picked up from Aizawa, while the two eavesdroppers looked at eachother.

“K-Kaminari...are you thinking what I’m thinking?” The girl said, grabbing onto the boys shoulders and shaking him around. The boy ‘Kaminari’ smirked and cupped his chin.

“I think I do, my dear friend~”

They chuckled and sped their way to their class, ready to spill their guts out. They passed the person in question as they walked, sending (y/n) a subtle wink and thumbs up before turning a corner.

“Huh.” Shinsou huffed. “Well-this is my stop.” He turned to (y/n) and slapped the door leading to 1-C. (Y/n) puffed out their cheeks. “Have fun playing heroes with 1-A, (N/n)”

“Yeah right. I’m just doing work there. I’ll be back before you miss me~” (y/n) made a kissy face before turning on their heel and walking past 1-C.

——————

“Guys guys guys!” Mina burst through the door, slamming her hands down on the podium at the front of the class. Kaminari jogged up behind her and crossed his arms. Iida stood up abruptly and made his way towards the two students.

“Ashido-kun, please refrain from running in the hallways-“

“WE MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE A NEW STUDENT!”

The class went silent. Even Iida stopped in his tracks. “How...how’d you find out?!” Kirishima mused. Just as Mina opened her mouth, the door opened and everyone scrambled to their seats. In entered Aizawa, holding his clipboard full of morning announcements for home room.

Aizawa glanced around the classroom, before settling down infront of his podium. “Morning. So, we’re gonna have someone join us today. I expect you all to not be a distraction to them or your fellow classmates.”

Whispers and excited smiles broke out subtly between the class. Mina leaned back in her chair, facing Asui and whispering “the new kid~!!”

Aizawas eyes flashed a ruby red, quieting down the class. “Alright. (Y/n), you may step in.”

The door slid open once more, as a pair of feet stepped into the class. The person gave a very reserved greeting, before stepping off to the corner of the classroom, near bakugo.

“That’s (y/n). Anyway, I need to step out for a bit, Mic is on sick leave and I need to run the lesson plan to the substitute English teacher.”

Aizawa tiredly trudged to the door, before looking back. “I expect you to be on your best behavior, (y/n).”

Once the door slid closed, some of the students scrambled out of their seats to greet the newcomer. “Hi (y/n)! I’m Mina Ashido!”

“Hi..?”

“What’s you’re full name? I found it sort of odd that Aizawa-sensei only addressed you as (y/n), kero-kero. Is that your last name or first name?” A girl with green hair piped up. “I’m tsuyu asui, by the way. Call me tsu.”

“Well, hi,” (y/n) leaned against the wall as people swarmed over them. “It’s just (y/n). It’s nothing important, really.”

The students gathered around them decided not push it, instead asking icebreaker questions like “what’s your favorite food?” Or “what’s your quirk, (y/n)-San?”

Footsteps grew outside of the classroom, causing everyone to scurry back to their seats like mice. (Y/n) stood there, dumbfounded, as Aizawa returned, holding what seems to be a lesson plan, and a chair.

“I got you a chair, you can sit in the corner there.” He walked up to where (y/n) was standing, and placed the chair beside them.

“That’s all, be nice to the sub or you’ll have to face to me.”

“Yes, Aizawa sensei!”

——————

The day ended pretty quickly, (y/n) grumbling quietly in the corner, doing their work, while the teachers filed in and out, teaching them their respective subjects.

The students talked amongst themselves, talking about what they want to eat after school or just straight up leaving. (Y/n) stood up from their chair and stretched, a yawn escaping their throat. They rubbed at their eyes while scanning the rowdy classroom. Their eyes landed on a blond boy, and a girl with a pinkish skin tone. Hm. They were both kinda cute. Might as well shoot their shot, they thought.

They walked up to the two, who was having a very animated conversation. They stopped, mid sentence, when (y/n) put their arms around the both of them.

“Heyyyy, you two are kinda cute~ Sorry, I kind forgot so-what’s your names?”

The blond boy blushed heavily, attempting to regain his composure but failing, while the pink girl smiled widely. She wrestled her way out of (y/n’s) arm and stood in front of them. The blond boy shook off (y/n’s) arm aswell, when the girl with horn patted at her chest.

“I’m Mina! That’s Kaminari, and we would LOVE to get to know our new classmate!”

(Y/n) grin contorted into an expression of confusion. “New...classmate?” They cocked their head to the side.

“Well-yea! You are in our class, after all..?” The boy, Kaminari, piped up.

“Whaddya mean? I’m in general studies. I’m only here because my stupid dad wanted to watch me work.”

Nearby ears started to perk up. Dad? Kaminari and Mina held semi shocked, semi confused expressions. A boy with greenish black hair whipped his head up from his hunched position from his desk, wobbled out from his chair and speedwalked over to (y/n).

“U-uhm! I couldn’t help but overhear-sorry by the way-but, It’s been on my mind for this whole time-“

“What is it?” (Y/n) swooped in before the boy started to drown in his stutters and ramblings. The boy cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his head.

“Are you related to Ai-“

The door slid open, revealing Aizawa, with Shinsou trailing behind him.

“(Y/n)-there you are. Stop causing my class trouble and let’s go home. You still need to drop off your work to the general studies classroom.”

“Okay dad, hold on though. this guy said he wanted to ask me something.”

When (y/n) turned back around, everyone’s mouth was agape. Especially Mina and Kaminari, who looked like they’ve seen a ghost. The green haired boy opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it again.

“A-are you-“

“ARE YOU AIZAWA-SENSEIS KID?!”

Kaminari finished Minas sentence, tangling his fingers into his blond hair. (Y/n), and Aizawa, nodded, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. The frog girl, Tsuyu, if (y/n) remembered correctly, brought a finger to her chin.

“What’s your full name?”

“Aizawa (y/n).”

The girl seemed content with her answer, and sunk back in her seat. Aizawa tapped on (y/n’s) shoulder, and gestured towards the door. (Y/n) waved goodbye to the class, mouthing a ‘call me’ to Mina and Kaminari, and walked out the door. The whole class sat in silence, before Mina cried out glumly.

“Ehhh?! So we don’t have a new classmate, do we?!”

——————

[unprofessional-bard]

Chapter 5 - Red in the Face

Losing My Religion Series Masterlist

Unprofessional Bard's Masterlist

Previous Chapter • Next Chapter

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female!Reader/OC

Warnings: Mostly fluff but PTSD related events (panic attack).

Summary: An uneventful few months await the reader as her relationship with Joel and a Ellie develops - things take an interesting turn when Ellie stays over at the reader's house.

Word Count: 5.574

Author's Note: Yet another chapter named after a Mad Men episode, I think the name is fitting eheh... And as someone who doesn't drink coffee, I'm leaving what type of coffee Joel drinks to your imagination. Ahh anyways thank you all so much for reading!! 🥰

Enjoy!

Having a cup of coffee in the afternoon became a routine for you and Joel every two or three weeks. Sometimes once a week and with the company of Tommy or (mostly) Ellie, but you'd invite him over either after patrol or on your day off and just enjoy each other's company. You always had the morning shifts and Joel had the night shifts - sometimes you'd be assigned at the same time, but to different places or with different partners. The only thing you two had in common was your day off's, but not once had you two gone on patrol together, until one day Joel noticed how you came across traders on your patrol route more often than him and always brought him some coffee. He felt like he ought to repay that and invite you over for a different occasion other than dinner with the others. He grew quite fond of you in the following months after your first 'coffee session'. It was mid-June when he had asked Tommy to assign the both of you on patrol.

"Why?" Tommy smirked.

"She always comes across traders and brings me coffe, lord knows what she gives up for it..." Joel crossed his arms and stood in front of Tommy as he scribbled something down on his notebook in his office.

"So you're gonna give up patrollin' with me for our beloved Dolly, huh?" Tommy mocked offense as he closed the notebook and pushed it aside, looking up at Joel with a grin.

"She okay with you callin' her Dolly?" Joel raised his brows.

"She's okay with only us callin' her that."

"By us you mean-"

"By god, Joel," Tommy laughed heartily as he got up from his chair. "You can be so oblivious sometimes."

"What do you want from me?" Joel blushed lightly. "She'd break my fingers and shove them down my throat, I don't wanna be on her bad side."

"Yes, she would," Tommy nodded and stood across Joel, snickering. "But have you actually tried calling her that? She likes you, y'know."

Joel had thought on each word that came out of Tommy's mouth: Even if you hadn't admitted out loud, he knew you had a thing for Walt. He had a pretty keen eye for these stuff after all and didn't even bother giving the idea of you being interested in him a chance.

The twist was, his keen eyes will be proven wrong in the future. Twice.

Tommy and Maria were already aware of everything - even Ellie could see the way Joel looked at you, how his attention immediately shifted from whoever he was talking to or whatever he was doing to you whenever you made an entrance. Tommy broke the news of the patrol switch to Maria by saying that if neither of them had asked for it any sooner, I would've done it myself.

What about Walt? Well, yeah, about him...

Walt and Bonnie announced themselves as an official pair not long after your fight back in April. They lasted way longer than any of you had anticipated, which made you lose all hopes of getting with Walt, but it didn't bother you as much ever since Joel and you started going on patrols together. He was with you for a big part of the day and he was somewhat an even better company than Walt.

A few days after your fight, you asked Maria to assign you with Walt for that day's shift.

"Walt?" You called for him, nervous.

"(Y/N)..." His voice indicated that he wasn't hostile, just as stressed to confront you as you were.

"Let's talk?" You rubbed your hands together and he nodded in return, following you outside the gates. You rode on horses in silence for awhile until you reached the lodge lookout.

The both of you moved inside and Walt wrote down your names on the patrol logbook: 23/4; Walt/(Y/N); All clear -W.

You pursed your lips as you placed your backpack on the floor, then sat on a chair at the table. Walt sat across you - he always used to sit next to you, but now he was hesitant.

"Look, Walt," You began. "If I offended you in anyway-"

"No, (Y/N)," Walt interrupted you immediately. "I was being an ass, then in the heat of the moment we both said some stuff, but I hope I didn't cross any boundaries?"

"...No, but, you were acting so strange?" You looked at him, then decided to add: "Even Joel thought you were jealous of us until I told him that you had a thing with Bonnie."

Walt's eyes widened: "He- what?"

"I mean, if I didn't know you, I'd have thought the same..." You studied his face for a reaction, but only got a dumbfounded look. "Walt, look. I know you don't like Joel, but he's done good by me. If it weren't for him, I wouldn't have been here."

Walt stared at you, a mixed expression made of guilt and embarrassment on his face. You got up and sat by his side when he stayed silent: "I don't know why you don't like him - you don't have to explain yourself to me. I owe him my life and- well, at least be respectful to him. For my sake."

"But, what about him?"

"Joel treats people the way they treat him. He's struggling to fit in - if he sees that you mean well, he'll treat you the same way."

Walt nodded, ashamed of his childish acts, but hugged you tight when you said Come here and opened your arms for him. You both hugged each other, glad that this tension between you was officially over; but you two were never the same after that. Your romantic interest died down in the following months and Walt started spending more time with Bonnie to the point of ignoring you and, well, Joel being made your official patrol partner didn't help the case. You were really curious to find out why Walt didn't like Joel, but you had already said you didn't care and decided to leave it alone.

Despite the awkwardness, the time you spent with Joel on patrol from mid-June til the end of November had made significant improvements on your relationship. At this point, everyone (Tommy, Maria and Ellie being the most) was impatiently waiting for either of you to kiss the other, but neither of you were aware of each other's feelings. Joel didn't want to make a move to avoid ruining what he had with you because, even if you didn't spend as much time with Walt, he still thought you had a thing for the redhead; thus his 'disinterest' discouraged you to make a move of your own. Although you were sure he somewhat fancied you -because, come on, no one can deny the tension between you two- you also didn't want to make things awkward.

But nothing would've been more awkward than what you had gone through on an eventful December afternoon.

Joel and you were about to go on patrol, when Maria caught up to the both of you: "Joel, Dolly, wait."

"What's up?" You asked as you were about to get on your horse.

"Chad was on the Creek Trails a few days back, he told me there were a lot of infected over there," Maria sighed, then gave you an apologetic look. "You need backup."

It took you a moment to understand that Tommy was, in fact, not going to be the backup: "Maria, no-"

"Too late." Maria shut her eyes and looked away when Walt approached from behind her. There he was, only a week and a half later after his breakup with Bonnie, his posture giving away the fact that the effects of the said breakup were taking a toll on him.

The tension in the air was suffocating. You whispered Fuck me... under your breath as Maria told him to ride with either Joel or you, as they couldn't spare another horse. Walt and Joel weren't on bad terms after your confrontation with Walt, but they just stayed away from each other. This was going to be a hell of a patrol.

"C'mon," you forced a fake smile to your lips and beckoned him to ride with you. He got up, sat behind you and grabbed the edges of the saddle of the horse, then all of you rode off.

There was a blizzard on the way, it seemed, for the weather was cloudy and the wind was sharp against your cheeks as you rode through inches thick snow. Focusing on your horse was a good enough distraction, but the road ahead was short. When all of you arrived, you began biting the insides of your lips.

Walt went up first, helping you up the rope and words weren't quite enough to describe your surprise when Walt also offered Joel a hand. He must've been shocked too, for he took a while to grab Walt's arm and pull himself up. Maybe today won't be so awkward after all! After writing down a new entry on the logbook, you listened to the two men as you pretended to go through the pages of the logbook.

"We shouldn't stay here too long," Walt spoke quietly. "Let's complete the route and go back before the blizzard hits."

"Agreed," Joel spoke and turned to you. "C'mon."

You gladly obliged as you really didn't want to be stuck with them in a blizzard. You didn't go through the Creek Trails too often as the route involved a river beside an old evacuated town, but you acted like it wasn't a big deal. Tommy was the first to show you the Creek Trails and it was going well until you reached the river. A scenario similar to the one with Joel right before you reached Jackson played out. Tommy was fortunately informed by Joel about your condition months ago, so he kept things mostly under control. He wasn't unfamiliar with the situation: There were many people in Jackson who suffered the same way you did from PTSD, but still, he never thought he'd see you like that.

It had been almost a year since you took this route and luckily, the current was slow, almost frozen. Going through the town, you all scouted the houses quickly. Everything seemed okay until you reached the supermarket, where Joel heard distressing noises from inside.

"We need a few people to secure the windows here," You said and got in position, rifle at the ready. You and Walt went in first, Joel following from behind.

"Just like the good ol' days, huh?" Walt whispered.

"You mean our patrol days or militarily?" You smiled, to which he replied Both.

Sweeping through the outer aisles were easy, nothing you hadn't done before. But the further you walked in, you noticed the spores beginning to appear: "Masks on, boys."

You pushed open a door slowly, only to be greeted by three clickers and a few runners in the main isle. The whole sweep went quietly for the most part, until a runner saw Joel.

"Joel!" You ran over to him. Joel, startled, turned around and leaned back on the glass to pull his pistol out but the runner was closer than he thought. It directly ran into him, pushing them through the glass and shattering it. You quickly shot the runner, but were horrified at the sight in front of you: The parking lot was swarming with infected.

You quickly hopped over to Joel's side and pulled him up, Walt right behind you. The noise had obviously attracted all the infected toward you all.

"Shit!" You jumped back as there was no place left to escape from the parking lot. Walt began shooting at them, giving Joel time to go inside, then followed you both back the way you came.

"This way!" Joel beckoned as he went through a different door which led to a long hallway. You put down a couple of runners before closing the door and ran to where Walt and Joel were.

"Through here," Joel said and entered a room to your right. He closed the door and the three of you pushed a vending machine in front of it, breathing heavily as the infected made their way into the corridor, kicking and scratching at the door of the room.

"We need to clear them out-" Walt.

"We can't," Joel interrupted him. "There are too many of 'em. We'll come back with more people but right now we gotta get outta here."

"Through here," you called them over to a hole on the wall. "Boost me up."

Joel and Walt made a move and stopped at the same time, Walt letting Joel go first, once more, to everyone's surprise. Joel pushed you up and you pulled yourself through the wall but lost your balance and fell: "Fuck-!"

You landed on your feet but you were sure you sprained -or maybe even fractured- your ankle when you landed and cried out in pain.

"(Y/N)?!" Both men shouted from the other side in panic, Walt quickly getting into position to boost Joel up: "Go, quick!"

"I'm fine," You hissed, quickly looking around the room to find it empty. "It's clear here."

Joel jumped down and kneeled beside you: "You okay?"

"My ankle, I-" You stared into Joel's eyes but with a loud crash, infected filled the room. Without wasting time, Joel dragged you toward a counter to your right and pulled out his pistol again. A great amount of anxiety washed over you - how the hell were you going to get out of this? And where the hell was Walt?!

But you knew you couldn't give into fear, not now. You always found a way out... Even though your ankle ached really bad and it began reminding you of the time when the Hunters-

You pushed yourself up to see how many infected you were dealing with. Relieved to see only two clickers and four runners, you looked over to Joel and he looked at you: "Cover me."

You nodded as he sneaked over to the closest runner and took it down without attracting any attention to himself. He took down the other one as well, but before he could approach the third, Joel stepped on a broken piece of glass and suddenly had four infected running towards him. You shot down the remaining runners before he retreated back to where you were, stunning a clicker with a brick in the meanwhile. You realized, to your horror, that you ran out of ammo at that moment and had to reload, but there was no time. Joel took down one of the two clickers with his remaining bullets, but neither of you could do anything about the last one. Joel grabbed you by the arm and helped you over the counter before the clicker could get a hold of you, but he pulled you with such panick and force, you fell on top of him with a Oof!

Joel must've hit his head - his movements slowed down and couldn't push the both of you away from the approaching clicker. Your ankle was twisted up in this position, which made you whine in pain as you tried to turn around with Joel's knife in hand, but couldn't. You growled and cried out, a buzzing in your ear similar to the stream drowning out the terrorising noises of the clicker as it made its way toward you.

"Joel, get up, come on!" Tears streamed down your face and you watched as he opened his eyes, which widened at the sight before him.

Joel hugged you by the waist, turned you around and pressed you down on the ground, covering your body with his before the clicker reached you.

Thud!

Your eyes were shut tight, the only thing you could hear was muffled voices of Walt grunting and sounds of stabbing as you struggled to breathe. You opened your eyes and looked to the left to see Walt stabbing the hell out of the clicker. You watched with terrified eyes as he slowly got up, mask covered in blood and looked over to the both of you, breathing heavily: "Y'all... y'all okay?"

Joel slowly raised his head up and looked at Walt, then back to you. Your eyes glowed with your tears as Joel stared at them - his right hand was holding the back of your neck and the left one was tight around your waist. Was he really about to sacrifice himself so that you'd survive?

Was he even aware what that would've done to you?

He got off you slowly, still holding you by the neck and turned to Walt: "Yeah- you clean?"

"Yup, I'm okay," Walt coughed and kneeled beside you. "We need to get out of here."

"She's hurt- Can you walk darlin'?" Joel asked, rubbing the side of your neck with his thumb in slow motions to calm you as your whole body trembled.

"I don't know," You whispered and sniffed. You grabbed both men's hands and pulled yourself up, but cried out when you tried to take a step forward, almost collapsing on spot.

"I got you," Joel walked in front of you and kneeled slightly, then Walt helped you up on his back. He grabbed your thighs and adjusted your form, then began following Walt out of the market.

"Joel..." You pressed your masked face against his coat and whimpered, hanging onto him as if your life depended on it.

"We're almost out, Dolly, you're safe," Joel reassured you. Luckily for you all, there were no infected outside but the weather had significantly gotten worse. Walt quickly got up on your horse and picked you up, making you sit on the saddle as Joel hopped on his own horse. You all rode off the way you came as fast as you could, barely making it back to Jackson without a delay.

The three of you took off your masks once you were inside. Joel immediately rushed to your side while Walt was helping you off the horse.

"I'll take her to the doctor," Joel grabbed you and carried you bridal style while Walt nodded and went over to the stables.

"It hurts really bad," You spoke as he carried you, voice cracking but feeling safer in his arms. "I- I think it's broken."

"You're fine Dolly... almost there. Katherine is going to fix you up, don't you worry."

It turned out that you had fractured your ankle and Katherine told you that had you taken a harder fall, you could've broken it altogether. You spent the night at the infirmary after she insisted, Ellie and some of the other kids staying with you for awhile before Katherine asked them to leave you so you could rest.

"You won't be getting rid of me this easily after you're back home!" Ellie had said before she left.

And she was quite right, for she was the one to help you back to your house with Maria the next day.

"Ellie, I'm fine, it's not like I have a concussion and broken ribs..." As much as you appreciated her help, you felt bad for taking up her time.

"You can't walk without crutches and I know for a fact that you're gonna get bored - you could use some company." Ellie sat beside you on your bed after Maria left. Katherine had said that your ankle was going to take around a month to heal and you wanted to bang your head against a wall then, not wanting to sit around. Maria and Tommy offered you to stay at their house a million times but you just wanted to be alone with your thoughts and trauma. You wanted to think about anything and everything and you knew no one other than Joel and Ellie would grant you such opportunity while being by your side. That's how your first day went: Ellie stayed until late hours and Joel visited when his shift was done.

"How're you feelin'?" He asked, standing by the bed where you'd been sleeping before he came.

"Alright I guess," You sighed. "I can't stand sitting around and doing nothing. It's like my first weeks here all over again."

Joel chuckled, then looked at the frame on your night stand, picking it up. It was a picture of you and Kurt in it: "I've been seein' this picture every time I came here and couldn't help but wonder who he is..."

You smiled and turned to your side a little, patting on the bed so that he'd sit down: "That would be Kurt. You could say he was my... mentor or something."

"Oh, right. Was he...?" Joel trailed off after sitting beside you.

"Yeah, he was there with them..." You nodded, remembering the day when you all got ambushed. "Eugene reminds me of him sometimes."

Joel nodded quietly and put the frame down: "I uh, I got one too. A picture of me and my... daughter."

You gave him a surprised look - you already knew his story, but you were genuinely surprised that he actually opened up to you about it after almost eight months. You felt a little guilty about having heard of this story before as he told you what had happened to Sarah. You keept quiet and let him vent, but hearing the story from Joel himself sent shivers down your spine - as if you were hearing it for the first time.

"I'm so sorry, Joel," You said once he finished. After a short moment of hesitation, you slowly put your hand on top of his. "I really am. I can't imagine how horrifying that must've been for you."

Joel whispered a small Yeah and looked away, not moving his hand from under yours and enjoying your small gesture. His thumb moved out under your own and rubbed it gently.

"I wish I could take a photo of you two right now!" Ellie suddenly appeared from the hallway, making the both of you jerk away from each other. She had gone to get something when Joel arrived a few minutes ago: "I wanted to stay here for the night, is that okay?"

Your eyes widened and so did your smile: "You don't have to, sweetie-"

"If I get too bored here, can she come and stay with you for a few days?" Ellie suddenly asked Joel.

"Now, Ellie, don't force her to do something she doesn't wanna do. She's too kind to decline."

You blushed a little at his comment and playfully slapped his shoulder: "Nobody's forcing me into anything, cowboy. Besides, it's your house - if I have a permission to stay, then I'll consider staying."

Joel smiled shyly: "You're right... Ah, what the hell, why don't you come over tonight?"

It was your turn to blush: "Not today, I'm afraid, I just want to sleep here for awhile."

"Alrighty then," Joel dropped his hands on his thighs, then got up. "Just let me know when you wanna stay 'n I'll come pick you up."

With that Joel left, wishing the both of you a goodnight. Ellie changed into her 'pyjamas' and curled up on the bed next to you before pulling the blanket over her body. The only light illuminating the room was the candle in you gas lamps on the nightstands on each side. You turned to Ellie - she seemed to be lost in her thoughts. You two were laying like you did in that cabin, the memory making you smile.

"So, when are you two gonna get married?" Ellie asked all of a sudden.

"Oh shush, Ellie," You squirmed and look away, making her laugh.

"I still cannot believe you two aren't together already!" Ellie spoke excitedly. "I don't know what's keeping you two... Don't tell me you still want Walt-"

"No, no," You blushed, running your fingers through your hair. "Hey, who says Joel likes me anyways? He's clearly not interested in me, Ells."

Ellie's expression turned serious. Looking you dead in the eye, she spoke, struggling not to curse: "You have got to be kidding me."

"What?!" Your eyes widened. You weren't sure if you wanted to hear the rest of what she had to say or not.

"No offense, (Y/N)," Ellie sat up. "I know Joel is blind, but I never thought you'd be as blind as him."

You weren't sure how to react, so you just stared off to the ceiling and thought: Joel was always so sweet toward you. He was patient, careful, gentle and protective... But wasn't that how he always was? You weren't really that special, were you?

"Oh god..." You sighed and covered your face with both of your hands. "Are you serious?"

"Oh, no I was just joking," Ellie rolled her eyes. "Of course I'm fucking serious!"

"Joel always had this silly idea that after all this time you were still into Walt," Ellie explained as you rubbed your face upwards and ran your hands through your hair. "I sometimes force a few words out of him about you and everyone knows that he has eyes for you... except for you it seems."

Your heart felt like bursting: "Oh dear lord, this can't be real..."

"Awh, look at you!" Ellie snuggled closer to you. "Blushing like a teenager, haha!"

"Says you!" You changed the topic and tickled her sides, making her drop to her side. "I may be blind with my own case, but I'm not blind enough to miss my Ellie's romantic shenanigans."

Ellie suddenly stopped laughing, face flushed red: "Wh-what do you mean?"

"Look who's blushing like a teen now," You smiled softly. "I've worked with children enough to see some things you think we can't see."

You honestly didn't have a clue she liked girls the first month you knew her. It all started adding up some time after Joel and her came back to Jackson. The kids there liked you and you liked them - they were mostly young teens who needed mentoring for patrols or with anything. You mentored Dina and Jesse for a while before Ellie arrived and Eugene began mentoring Dina. You saw the way Ellie got nervous around Cat - the way she blushed and stuttered while Cat was more confident around her. Ellie talked to you about everything but her own 'love life' and you never forced her to, whenever you cracked a few jokes, she'd immediately tense up and change the subject. After two or three times, it clicked - she was definitely into girls.

"How... how long have you known?" Ellie asked and got off the bed, turning around and doing her stressed finger gesture.

"Awhile now," You sat up as best as you could and stared at her worriedly. "Ellie, it's okay." She slowly turned around, panick spread across her face. "Are you okay sweetie?"

"No," Her voice cracked after a moment of silence.

You beckoned her back to bed beside you: "It's alright baby, there's nothing to be scared of..." She sniffed and climbed back to bed, finding her comfort in your embrace. "It's okay, Ellie."

"Does Joel know?" She asked quietly as you brushed your fingers through her hair, hugging her.

"No, I don't think he does. I haven't told anyone what I thought, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh, okay-" Ellie took a deep breath. "Thank you, (Y/N)."

"You'll tell him when you feel ready," You placed a small kiss on the side of her head. "This goes for anyone. Whenever you're ready, you'll tell them."

"But, what if they're not okay with it?"

"Well, fuck them." You smiled when she gave you a look. "If they can't deal with you for who you are, there's something wrong with them, not you."

The words seemed to have an effect on her, for her breathing calmed down and her eyes focused on a spot in your room, probably deep in thought. You two stayed like that for a while, Ellie eventually yawning and cuddling up to you after blowing out the candle on her side.

"Goodnight darling," You kissed her temple and blew out the candle by your side. "Love you."

"Love you too, (Y/N)," Ellie whispered sleepily, then fell asleep in your arms.

You felt like, after that, you had earned Ellie's trust completely. She became more like a daughter to you, which made things between you and Joel a little awkward considering he was like a father to her. You wondered if she thought of the both of you as her parents - if she felt the joy of having parental figures around her with the both of you. She'd come to you whenever she felt down or emotional- or for anything, really. You both had a factor in common which helped you both relate to and understand each other: survivor's guilt. It was upsetting, but you two had each other. You told Ellie what she wanted to hear and vice versa.

By New Year's, she gave you the most precious gift: A masterfully drawn picture of you... with Joel in a frame.

"Christmas comes but once a year!" Ellie chuckled at your reddening face. "I thought you might like this."

"Like?" You laughed. "I absolutely love this- Ellie, you're so talented. Thank you so much, sweetheart."

"Whatcha got there?" Joel leaned forward over your shoulder to take a look at the picture and his eyes widened immediately. "Oh..."

"Right? Isn't it beautiful?" You stared at the picture in awe, cheeks heating up.

"It really is," Joel turned his head to your face slightly, his nose inches away from your cheek. After Ellie had purposefully nonchalantly revealed that your interest in Walt had died a long time ago and that you had said this yourself, much to Joel's relief, he really began thinking on making a move when it was convenient. The problem was, he just didn't know how to, until Ellie came up with a gift idea.

"Did you get something for (Y/N)?" She asked Joel on patrol one day.

"What for?"

"Uh, the word Christmas ring a bell? Well, I found a frame for her, so she can put that picture of hers in it. She always complained about not coming across a frame for it, I think she'll appreciate it."

Joel thought on her words: He had completely forgotten about Christmas - it was his first after many many years, after all. Ellie noticed the thoughtful look on his face and spoke: "You know what? Why don't you give her the frame?"

"I- What?"

"You heard me," Ellie smirked. "I'll get her something else, you should give her the frame instead."

Joel had remained quiet then, but thought about Ellie's offer for awhile and, once he was back at home, an idea presented itself in his little workshop in his house.

"Y'know what?" Joel had given the frame back to her the next day. "You hold onto this, I'm gonna make her something."

And that was what you were greeted with right after you took your eyes off Ellie's gift: "I got a little somethin' for you."

It was a wooden frame, beautifully carved flowers on the corners and the picture of Alpha One in it. Your heart skipped a beat, your breathing coming to a stop, eyes widening at the sight.

You slowly took the frame from him with trembling hands. The happiness you felt was indescribable, did he actually take his time to make this? For you? Your eyes teared up: "My god... How did you get this?"

"You could say a little bandit helped me," Joel smiled over to Ellie, who was watching the both of you with an excited grin spread across her face.

You exhaled with a short laugh, looked between your gift and Joel and then, despite the cast around your ankle, pushed yourself up. His expression turned into a panicked one for a second before you turned around, giggled with tears rolling down your face and hugged him. It took Joel a moment to process what was happening, but he quickly returned the hug and wrapped his arms around your waist: "Thank you, Joel."

"Merry Christmas, Dolly," Joel sighed, content. A genuinely happy smile formed on his lips and his eyes closed unintentionally, finding the comfort he sought for so long in your arms. You felt like, his arms around your waist and chin resting on your shoulder - his body was made for yours, like puzzle pieces.

"Mistletoe!" Ellie suddenly appeared by the both of you, stepping on your seat with the said plant in hand, holding it above the both of you and shaking it.

You pulled away from him, hands resting on his shoulders as you stared at Ellie with embarrassment. Joel, cheeks red like the ribbon which held the mistletoe together, looked away shyly. You bit your lower lip and turned your head back towards him, gazed into his eyes with a soft smile playing on your lips. Your hands moved up to his neck slowly, eyes glowing. This cannot be happening.

Ah, what the hell, just go for it, were Joel's last thoughts before he pulled you close by your waist and pressed his lips to yours. A long overdue, passionate, deep kiss was shared between you two; a kiss that made everyone in the room cheer and clap at the sight.

"Finally!"

[cno-inbminor]

immergo

a/n: i recently watched haikyuu and i’m absolutely hooked. to help get it out of my system in time for final papers and assignments, i’m procrastinating by writing this out. hope you enjoy!

featuring: oikawa tooru x fem!reader & some OC’s + iwaizumi

genre: best friends to lovers!au, angst, fluff, slooow burn, some cliches to make people suffer

summary: tooru is as constant as the stars and as real as the earth beneath your feet, yet even for you, he still manages to slip away. and when it’s all too late, only then does he attempt to come back.

word count: 21.9k (this is a monster)

playlist: i wanted to try making one so here's a playlist on spotify: immergo

edit: now crossposted onto AO3 here!

-

You are five years old when you first meet him.

He’s got a terrible bowl cut and sand particles smudged on his cheek. A plastic, ocean blue shovel is dug deep into the sand before being lifted up with a load, then precariously dumped into a matching bucket. A teetering sandcastle threatens to fully collapse, yet somehow still sporting a little plastic yellow umbrella that some other kids might’ve left behind. You’re clutching your mother’s hand, a clenched fist brought up to your mouth to hide the trembling of your lips from the nervousness of approaching new people. The sandbox is a part of the playground, but you want to be there alone. You want to be in your own little world, too terrified to face the unknowns, but after the last two weeks of coming by, this boy is always in the sandbox.

Your mother somehow convinces you that you can make new friends. ‘But don’t boys have cooties?’ you ponder. There’s only a week left until kindergarten starts, and your mother thinks it would be nice to try to meet someone so you’ll at least have some semblance of familiarity. Just when you think you’re brave enough, you almost yelp in renewed fear when another boy comes into the scene and plops down next to the other boy, his own pair of a bucket and shovel dyed a bright, firetruck red, and is ready to start digging up sand. You watch him eye the falling castle, grumbling something to the other boy before attempting to patch it and stand it back up. The other boy stares at him with wide eyes and an open mouth before morphing his face into a childish, happy grin. And immediately, you think, ‘Oh wow, I like his smile.’

Not only is it bright and wide, but there’s a certain feeling of gentleness. None of this is eloquently elaborated in your brain, but there’s a comfort that settles into your mind. That smile is what causes you to (though still hesitantly) let go of your mother’s hand and slowly wobble to the sand box, pause, before you step up and over the wooden border. The two boys have ceased their castle-building duties to stare at you, who’s now sitting in the sand and looking towards anything but them. Your head scrambles to remind yourself on how to say hello, and it must’ve done something correctly because before they can ask questions, you quietly ask, “Can I play with you guys?”

Both boys look toward each other, giving a look, before the boy with the red bucket shrugs and says, “Okay. As long as you don’t mess up my castle.”

Bowl-cut tyke flicks sand at him, causing him to splutter and yell in protest. “Don’t be so mean, Hajime!” Bowl-cut scolds before turning back to you with that earlier grin. “I’m Oikawa Tooru and he’s Iwaizumi Hajime. Wanna help me with my castle?”

And ever since you moved to this new city until now, your mother has never seen your eyes so bright.

-

You are ten years old when Oikawa, with a better hairstyle, receives his first love confession of sorts (because you’re ten).

It takes until fifth grade for you to be finally in a class with both him and Iwaizumi. Other years either had one or neither of them, but you were still able to reconvene during recess. The three of you are attached at the hips during those 30 minutes, either running around in a game of tag, swinging as fast as you could across the monkey bars, or seeing who could swing the highest.

On days when the swings are particularly busy, the three of you would take turns pushing each other, trading off once one of you had your fill. “Higher!” Oikawa would always yell happily, his voice blending in with the rest of the screams and laughs in the playground. With your own laughs leaving your lips as you attempt to push the swing, Iwaizumi would instead yell back at him, “Use your own legs, idiot! That’s what they’re for!” To which Oikawa would whine, but eyes would still crinkle in childish delight as he approached the sky.

But Oikawa notices a lot of things, more than the average fifth grader does. Then again, it isn’t hard to spot the group of giggling girls under a tree’s shade nearby, evidently gazing at him in wonder and affection. He feels his heart soar at the attention and in turn, pumps his legs even harder, almost reaching perpendicular height to the ground. Oikawa admits that he is a bit of a show-off, he wants to be the best, and without warning, releases his hands from the chains and jumps off from the swing.

Both you and Iwaizumi gape at him with a mixture of horror and awe. If you could put this moment in slow motion, you would see Oikawa suspended in mid-air, yet somehow seeming to soar like a bird. His jacket flows behind him as his arms lift up to give a sense of balance, legs stretching out to get ready to meet the ground. You wonder what the expression on his face is like, yet the terror manifests itself into your shriek of his name, pitch and tone overpowering a similar call from Iwaizumi. But Oikawa is Oikawa and he lands on both feet, knees bent and almost touching the ground before straightening back up. You’re about to start running towards him, feet already moving, until you stop because he’s twisting himself towards you and Iwaizumi, V-sign held up and that same, big grin he always has. The sun casts a halo around him and you can’t bring yourself to look away. Your feet stay rooted on the mulch and you watch as Iwaizumi stomps over to punch Oikawa in the arm, yelling about how he could’ve broken his legs and who would he play volleyball with then, leaving you to spot the aforementioned fangirls huddled like they’re coming up with a grand plan.

At first, you think nothing of it. It isn’t until after school as the three of you are walking towards the entrance when you wish you were more perceptive like Oikawa. One of the girls from under the tree has gone up to him, quickly bowing while introducing herself, grabs one of his hands to slap a folded piece of paper into it, and almost sprints away. Oikawa doesn’t have a chance to say anything, but he can only give himself a few seconds to register what just happened and unfold the ripped notebook paper. Inside in pretty cursive is an email address (because none of you have cellphones yet), which causes Oikawa to put on a shit-eating grin. He just basically received a love note, a confession, and his ego has just been fed a meal fit for a king.

He brags and boasts the whole way home, causing a permanent frown to settle on Iwaizumi’s face from pure irritation, and you find yourself only able to stay quiet, pondering and contemplating what this small nasty feeling inside your chest could be.

-

Oikawa and Iwaizumi are fourteen years old, nearly fifteen, when you receive your first love confession, which ends up being a little more refined than a hastily torn piece of notebook paper possessing an email address.

Their afternoons and early evenings are occupied by volleyball. While you had been at Lil Tykes from the ages of 6 to 10, mainly due to a massive fear of missing out and wanting to spend more time with your new best friends then, you didn’t have as much talent as those two and decided to pursue other interests. Iwaizumi and Oikawa had protested vehemently when you broke the news to them one evening over dinner at the setter's house, their mouths full of rice and chicken curry yet somehow still managing to speak over the food. Oikawa’s mother had seen you shrink further and further into your chair before slamming her hand on the table, causing the two boys to startle and cease their yelling.

“Respect (y/n)’s interests! I did not raise you,” she spoke pointedly, directing a finger at her now ashamed son, “to be so rude. If she doesn’t want to play volleyball anymore, then she doesn’t have to. She doesn’t need to keep doing something she doesn’t want to do just because you two said so. Now, both of you apologize to (y/n) and finish your dinner.”

“Yes, mother,” and “Yes, auntie,” both quietly left their lips. You wanted to hug the woman right then and there, tears nearly forming and spilling over at the fact that she was on your side. The two boys had put their spoons down and waited for a few seconds before Iwaizumi finally spoke.

“I’m sorry I got mad at you. We’re just gonna miss you a lot,” he apologized, tone sad and soft. Oikawa was still chewing on his bottom lip when Iwaizumi elbowed him to say something. “Apologize, you idiot,” he hissed.

“Ow! I know, geez. I’m sorry, too. Mom’s right, I should respect what you want to do. We’re gonna miss seeing you, like this meanie said,” Oikawa jabbing a thumb in the direction of his male best friend. Their eyes are still downcast until you let out a small giggle.

“Apologies accepted, you dummies.”

You still found time after your new art classes to go watch them play volleyball with either Iwazumi’s or Oikawa’s mother picking you all up and heading home. The three of you still lived near each other, and the two boys were happy that they could still see you somehow. Lil Tykes after school evolved into official middle school volleyball practice, yet you were still commonly found in the bleachers finishing homework or doodling in a sketchbook, patiently waiting for your two best friends to go home with you.

A teammate by the name of Wakeda had taken notice of you, had seen your interactions with the best players on their team. He had seen how nice you were with your classmates, yet still unafraid to give Oikawa and Iwaizumi shit for the smallest things. Your aura is pleasant and raw in a genuine sense, only fueling his budding, burning crush on you. He decided he wanted to be confident and bold, hoping that you would give him a chance.

The Friday afternoon starts off like any other -- Iwaizumi and Oikawa head off to volleyball practice with a greeting and a wave, receiving one from you in return as you make your way towards the math club. The art classes from late elementary school only served to show that you only possessed some mild talent for drawing and painting, but not enough for you to continue paying money for classes. The passion and drive didn’t exist for you there, not like it does with Iwaizumi and Oikawa in volleyball, and it only became something that you enjoyed in your leisure time. Instead, you eventually find yourself balancing math club and chess club -- math is on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday afternoons while chess is on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, but they never run as late as volleyball practice.

As tiring as math club can be sometimes, you usually somehow still find the energy to finish the bulk of your homework before heading home. When you walk through the bleachers and settle into your normal seat, the team spots you and gives you a casual wave. You smile and wave back, setting your stuff down before you clamber towards the edge of the rail and look down to spot the manager. On time, she looks up and greets you with a matching smile, ones that you return. The team is coincidentally taking a quick water break, giving Oikawa and Iwaizumi enough time to quickly chat with you from below (and escape their coach for a hot second).

“How was math club?” Iwaizumi calls out. Oikawa subtly observes you as you shrug. To both him and Hajime, the mental exhaustion is evident on your face and figure, yet they always find themselves asking, waiting, watching.

“It was okay,” you respond, fighting back a yawn. “Practice competition round was a bit brutal. How’s practice?” You quickly digress, noticing Oikawa was about to jump in and ask for some details.

“This crappy guy over here keeps pushing himself too much. You know, the usual,” Iwaizumi speaks before, once again, Oikawa can say anything. The latter turns to him and lets out an indignant “Hey!” before quickly attempting to defend himself.

“Iwa-chan is being mean, I’m not--”

“All right, let’s get back to work! Everybody back on the court!” The coach yells and Oikawa can only drop his shoulders and sigh, slightly trudging back into the bounds of the court outline. You stare after him worriedly -- both he (mainly out of stubbornness) and Iwaizumi (mainly out of friendship and loyalty) had been pulling late extra practice sessions and the dark eye circles were starting to become more and more noticeable. As if he could tell what you were probably thinking, he turns back and gives a thumbs up with a grin, tongue slightly poking out. You can only roll your eyes at his antics, returning to your seat in the bleachers and pulling out your science homework.

The minutes tick by as the sun slowly begins to set, rays streaming through the windows of the gym in a harsh blood orange. The coach takes a look at his watch before blowing his whistle, signalling the end of practice. The sound of volleyballs hitting skin abruptly stops, except for one last jump-serve that Oikawa sneaks in. The coach berates him loudly, only causing Oikawa to sheepishly smile and rub the back of his neck. All the players bow and announce their thanks before moving to complete their respective clean-up duties. By this time, you gather your stuff and make your way towards the ground floor. Even if your best friends were going to do some extra practice, it’s better for you to sit at their level against the wall.

The sound of sneakers squeaking against the floor increases in volume as you approach the court. But before you can make your way towards Iwaizumi and Oikawa on the other side of the net, Wakeda calls out your name. You turn towards the left to see him pick up a volleyball not far from you, and Wakeda is counting his lucky stars that he was provided with an excuse to be near you.

“Aoki-san,” you greet him by his last name. “How was practice?”

“It was good, but Coach really worked us to the bone today,” he nervously replies, hands subtly clenching the volleyball in his hands. “I was wondering if I could speak with you for a second? In private?”

Your eyes widen in surprise. You’ve never really had much interaction with him outside of volleyball practice, and even then it was very limited to pleasantries. Perhaps it’s about Iwaizumi and Oikawa running themselves to the ground, and nothing to do with you. “Sure,” you agree, looking around before gesturing towards the door of the gym. “We can talk out here, if you’d like.” Wakeda quickly nods and follows you. At this time, the other boys have retreated towards the locker room except for one. One who narrows his eyes at the retreating backs of two people making their way out of the gym.

He puts the last ball in the ball cart, ignoring his friend’s confused look as he jogs towards the entrance of the gym and leans against the wall out of sight. He knows it's wrong to eavesdrop, but he just has to know about what could be unfolding.

The two of you are only a few feet away from the open door and you can only look perplexed as Wakeda begins to look more and more bashful, stumbling over words and anxiously tossing the ball side to side between his hands.

“Is everything okay?” You ask worriedly, trying to maintain eye contact until you can because he’s looking straight down towards the ground. Your heart pounds in your chest as you start to fathom what might be happening.

“I’m sorry, I just -- I like you. I think you’re really nice and cool, and I would like it if I could take you out on a date.”

You’re stunned into silence. Never has anyone expressed any semblance of romantic interest in you, nor has anyone confessed. You’ve never been in this position and the first thing your brain starts to unravel is the puzzle of how to turn someone down. It’s not that going on a date with Wakeda would be terrible -- you just don’t know enough about him. You don’t want to bring his hopes up, but you don’t want to bring him down either.

On the other side of the wood, the boy’s eyebrows are furrowed. His arms are crossed and a foot is perched against the wall, legs making the shape of the number four. His eyes are burning holes into the window across from him and he can’t figure out why a feeling of protectiveness is washing over him. But what he can’t figure out even more is why his mind is instantly screaming, “Please say no please say no please say no don’t say yes don’t leave us don’t leave me--”

“I’m sorry,” he hears, ears straining to catch your voice as you softly apologize. You watch as Wakeda’s shoulders slump and the volleyball is finally kept still between his hands. You gently put a hand on his upper arm. “I can tell you’re a nice guy, but I don’t feel that way about you. I’m sorry.”

Wakeda lets out a long breath before mustering up his best smile for you. “It’s okay, I was kind of expecting it." A hand reaches up to run a hand through his hair in embarrassment and he’s trying to think of what to say next. Be bold, be confident, his inner self reminds him as he stands tall again. Wakeda puts up the cheekiest smile you’ve seen on him so far. “But I’ll be waiting, if you ever change your mind.”

The statement only makes you smile first and then chuckle. Wakeda basks in the sound for as long as he can before he shyly joins you. The laughter isn’t meant to demean him in any way, but it’s the only reaction you can feel yourself make. It’s all so foreign to you, but you’re glad that your first interaction like this is with someone as kind as him. You trust Oikawa’s teammates.

“Thank you though, it must’ve taken a lot of courage to do this. To be honest, this has never happened to me before and I just don’t know what to say,” you ramble a little, now wondering if you’ve said too much. Wakeda begins to look a little more comfortable before making his way back to the gym with you following.

“Would it be cheesy to say I’m glad I was the first?”

“Absolutely. In fact, I know now that I’m never changing my mind.”

“Hey, that’s not fair!” Wakeda exclaims, only causing you to laugh. “You gotta leave some room for chance so--”

“Oi, Wakeda,” you hear a familiar voice call out. Your eyes spot Oikawa slowly making his way from the other side of the gym, walking towards you two with a hand in a pocket and another hand in the air, waving. But it’s perplexing because his chest is heaving like he just sprinted his fastest around the court. “Is that the last ball?”

“Ah, yes, sorry senpai!” Wakeda apologizes before tossing the ball into Oikawa’s awaiting hand. It quickly gets thrown into the ball cart. When you two are standing right in front of him, your friend pats Wakeda on the shoulder. “Go ahead and clean up, you deserve a break,” he says before smiling. It’s a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes or even match his eyes. His chestnut orbs have another emotion burning in them, far from the light they would usually glint when paired with a genuine grin. Wakeda quickly lets out a “see you around” and you wave back at him. Once the boy has disappeared into the locker room, you direct your attention back to Oikawa. That earlier fire in his eyes has dimmed a little, but you want to know what it is and why it’s there.

A word barely leaves your tongue when strong arms hug you to a sturdy chest. They intertwine around your shoulders, the squeeze becoming more and more constricting. Your chest tightens and you’re not sure if it’s your heartbeat or his that you’re feeling beat against your chest. In a movement of instinct, you hesitantly wrap your own arms around Oikawa, hand linking to hold onto your own wrist behind his back. Your face is pressed into his shoulder, your nose catching the lingering scent of his deodorant mixed with his sweat. His chin is perched over your shoulder momentarily before he buries his face in the crook of your neck, causing you to stiffen.

It’s not that Oikawa has never hugged you before. There have been plenty of hugs with the two boys over the last nine years, but something is different about this one. There’s an underlying intention hidden in the muscles of Oikawa’s arms, hidden in the way that he breathes in your scent. Something heavy is unspoken as a sense of intimacy falls over the two of you like a soft blanket. You can only gently grasp the back of his jersey, his grip somehow tightening even more, and finally find your voice to speak.

“Tooru,” you murmur, fighting the sensation of your heart caught in your throat. Very rarely do you ever say his name in that tone, one so gentle and full of friendly affection (but did he want it to be just friendly?), so caring and drowned in empathy. “Is everything okay?” You continue and ask. He’s trying to tell you something. He’s trying to scream it through his mind, hoping it’ll somehow miraculously meet yours. But even he doesn’t understand what’s drawing him to do this. All he knows is that as soon as Wakeda was out of sight, he needed you here in his arms. The non-verbal pleas of worry and want from earlier have substantially settled, now morphing into thoughts of “It’s okay, she’s here, she isn’t leaving us, she isn’t leaving me--”. It must be the stress from wanting to become the best, from the stress of Kageyama Tobio’s looming ascent to the top, from the general stress of classes. It must be those. It couldn’t be anything else.

“Everything’s fine,” he replies into your neck, sound muffled but just as quiet as yours had been. You can only feel your heart sink at how strained those words came out. Everything was clearly not fine. Your hands unlink and move to his waist, putting some force into your palms to try to separate from him so you can see his face. But Oikawa quickly protests a soft “no”, once again pulling you as close to him as possible with an arm around your waist and the other soon joining. He can’t handle distance from you right now, some budding anxiety from your attempts at separation quickly subdued as you’re pressed fully against his chest again. “Just give me this moment,” he thinks and pleads to some unknown force.

“I’m just...stressed,” he says before letting out a long breath and disentangling himself from you. But he doesn’t move far, the tips of both of your sneakers just centimeters apart from touching. He straightens his back and lifts his head to momentarily look into your eyes, your own face slightly tilted upwards to meet his gaze. But before you can decipher the emotions in his eyes, his head tilts down to lean his forehead against yours. Though his eyes are closed, yours are still open in muted astonishment. If the hug wasn’t very new, then this action was definitely new. The tip of his nose barely grazes yours, causing your breath to hitch, once again feeling your heart stuck in your throat. You struggle to breathe, especially when his lips are so close to yours. Somehow your thoughts drift to thinking of what would happen if you elevated your feet just a little bit, what would it feel like if your lips softly met his--

“There’s a lot going on,” he interrupts your (silly, silly) thoughts. “I keep getting reminded of how I’m not good enough, and maybe I never will be. But I want to be the best, you know?” For how tall Oikawa is, you’ve never heard him sound so small before. Your eyes can’t help but flutter closed as you relish in the sound of his voice. You try to understand what he’s feeling, the frustration, the stress, the insecurity.

“I hate knowing there’s someone better out there. I hate that there’s someone out there, right here, who’s got the pure talent and prodigal level that I don’t have because I keep getting reminded of how I’m not the one who has it. It’s just not fair, (y/n), do you understand?”

“But I know you’re here for me. And Iwaizumi. I know you believe in me and in us. You're right here with us. You always are,” he continues before you can affirm and acknowledge him. His fingers ghost over your skin, up from your wrists, to your elbows, then your shoulders, lastly lingering at the sides of your neck. Goosebumps break out in the wake of his tender trail and you fight the urge to shiver. You so badly want to open your eyes and drink in this moment of vulnerability from Oikawa, but you’re afraid that you’ll do something rash, something you’ll regret. You’re then given all the more reason to keep your eyes shut when his hands gently cradle your face, his thumbs on your cheeks, the other fingers softly splayed down your neck. He inhales sharply, then daring to slant his head down just the slightest distance, your noses firmly touching now. Your heart is now thrashing wildly against your ribcage -- you have no grasp on what is happening.

“Promise me you’ll never leave us, (y/n),” he implores, raw desperation laced and building in his voice. You can’t help but recognize the tears uncontrollably forming behind your eyelids. Nothing else around you matters -- it’s only you and Oikawa in this impenetrable bubble that you two have created. You’re too far in now, sinking and drowning into this body of water that is him, entangled and rooted in this web that he’s so quickly and craftily woven. He could ask anything of you and you would do it in the blink of an eye. How he made you feel this way in just a few minutes, from the door of the gym to the embrace of his arms, is completely beyond you, but you can’t seem to find the complaints within you. ‘How cruel of him,’ you despondently think, still unable to find it in yourself to be mad. ‘How wicked of him.’

But then Oikawa deals the final blow with a shaky breath. He lays out his last trap, one that you can’t escape. It’s the final straw, the last pull into a heartbreaking world that you will never be able to escape from for as far into the future as you can see; desperation, yearning, beseeching.

“Promise that you’ll never leave me.”

Nothing, nothing, can stop you from whispering what he so deeply desires to hear, fall delicately off your tongue.

“I promise.”

And his lips crash onto yours.

-

You and Iwaizumi are fifteen years old when Oikawa falls to his lowest.

The kiss was a one-time thing. It had lasted no more than a few seconds when the sound of the locker room door swinging open had you two jumping apart and turning away from each other. Oikawa found it easier than you did to compose himself, though internally he was berating his actions. What was it that made him do such a thing? What was it that pushed him to cross the line he never thought he’d cross? What was it that made him want to spin back around and continue what he had started?

“Iwa-chan!” He had hollered across the building, waving over said male who had smartly refrained from changing his clothes. “Help with some tosses? Serves?”

“You’re ridiculous,” Iwaizumi had muttered under his breath, grunting his affirmation loud enough. But in his peripheral, he had spotted your figure hunched over your things on the bench, had squinted at the way you seemed to be shaking, shivering. He had noticed the look, almost a glare, that Oikawa had directed towards Wakeda before imperceptibly shaking his head to focus on the extra task.

And it wasn’t until weeks later that Oikawa breached the subject during a walk home, sans you because you had late night practice with the math club to prepare for some upcoming Olympiad competition. You were insistent through text that they didn't wait for you and that one of your teammates would help walk you home. Oikawa argued quite relentlessly against it until you threatened to block him from the group chat (though it wasn’t the first time you threatened such a thing) and Iwaizumi decided to take his phone away.

While much wasn’t being said, mainly both preoccupied with their popsicles that they had stopped at a convenience store for, Oikawa broke the silence.

“I kissed (y/n).”

Iwaizumi nearly choked on his popsicle, spluttering and struggling to find the right words to say. Yet the best he could come up with was, “So are you two...dating?”

“No.”

“What the fuck? Why are you telling me this?”

“Because we’re best friends, Iwa-chan. I didn’t know when to tell you though, thought you’d get mad at me,” Oikawa said, pouting childishly.

“So...well, you can tell me what happened before it later. But what happened after? And when did this even happen?”

“Everything just went back to normal. We never spoke about it. And it happened a few weeks ago in the gym after practice.”

“But why?”

“Hmm…” Oikawa had pondered for a few seconds and then shrugged. “Not sure. I was just really stressed, and I was scared that she’d leave us.”

“Us? How am I included in this? And where’d you even come up with that thought?”

“Because it’s always been us three, and it’s always gonna be us. We can’t be apart.”

“We’re eventually going to be apart, you know. It’s not likely that we’re all going to end up in the same city.”

“No,” Oikawa spoke obstinately, hands harshly crushing the wrapper around the now empty popsicle stick. “That’s not going to happen. We’re going to stick together wherever we go. We’ll play for the national team and (y/n) will find a job in Tokyo. We’re always going to be near each other. That’s how it’ll be. That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Iwaizumi had nothing to say about that, except for, “We’ll see.”

In the month or so to the blossoming age of fifteen, things don’t change very much. Oikawa becomes more physically affectionate with you and Iwaizumi. You try not to notice how often and how casually Oikawa tends to sling an arm over your shoulders. He does the same with Iwaizumi, though the latter is more likely to shrug it off in mock annoyance and causes Oikawa to lament about lost friendships. But even if physical distance has shortened, Oikawa begins to dig a mental wall between you two. His face becomes more hardened during practice, rarely ever putting up an earnest smile with his teammates. The late-night practices run even later, each serve hitting harder, each toss against the wall getting stronger. The nights when you leave him on his own slowly increase in frequency, going back home with only Iwaizumi. The third leg of the triangle missing feels so adulterated, so wrong. Oikawa is digging himself towards a hell that he won’t be able to return from, but how can you lift him back up? How can you dig your heels into the earth and pull him back out?

“I’m trying my best,” Iwaizumi attempts to comfort you one night. He sees how often you turn back to look at Oikawa as the two of you reluctantly move to leave the gym. Practice had been rough on him, getting switched out with Kageyama Tobio. You had watched his defeated body collapse onto the bench, and there was nothing more that you wanted to do than to run down and snap him out of whatever mental spiral he had created. One serve after another slams into the ground, his figure hunched and panting yet pushing itself to the limits.

“He’s going to kill himself at this rate,” you whisper morosely, turning back to peer at the dark sky. “Is there nothing we can do?”

“You know there’s no one more stubborn than that idiot. He’d have to pass out for you to drag him out of here.”

“Please teach me how to serve!” A young male voice calls out. Both of you pivot on your feet to see the source, eyes focusing on the scene of Kageyama Tobio requesting a seemingly simple task from a senpai.

But you can only watch as Oikawa’s eyes lose any semblance of emotion, instead only darkening with what seems like rage entering his body. He begins to tremble, and Iwaizumi must’ve seen something shift because no sooner than that does he bolt at top speed towards the unsuspecting pair. You can only watch in horror, shell-shocked, as Oikawa begins to forcibly swing his right arm, the back of his hand aiming straight for Tobio’s right cheek.

A horrible screech unearths from your throat in the form of a piercing “NO!” and slices through the air, just as Iwaizumi is able to stop Oikawa’s assault on the poor unsuspecting underclassman. You’ve never seen him so uncontrolled, so ready to intentionally commit an act of violence against an innocent person. Your ears pulse with your heartbeat, barely registering Iwaizumi apologizing to Tobio and giving Oikawa the lecture of his life.

The latter is reminded of the purpose of having a team, is scolded for having been so selfish in his pursuit for excellence. You start sprinting over when Iwaizumi headbutts Oikawa in the nose for his insolence, tossing your bag down as it only decreases your speed. You don’t care for the trouble of cleaning out blood stains from towels when you begin to clean his face, his eyes still furious and full of anguish but somewhat softened when he sees your tears. He continues to let Iwaizumi teach him a lesson while you pinch the bridge of his nose and tilt his head back. Like handling a doll, you have to lift his arm so he can keep the towel in place himself. You then scurry off to find the first-aid kit, leaving Oikawa to fend for himself. Only a couple of minutes later, the three of you are sitting on the ground and you’re dabbing ointment on the emerging bruise right in the middle of Iwaizumi’s forehead. Iwaizumi is a little calmer now, though he’s still verbally punishing Oikawa for even thinking of purposefully hurting a teammate.

Oikawa thinks the three of you are all fine and okay. He’d be ridiculously thickheaded if he wasn’t able to catch onto how quiet you are on the walk home, how instead of walking between him and Iwaizumi, you’re now on the opposite end. There’s a tug at his heartstrings when he plays with the idea that you’re attempting to put distance between you and him, but he refuses to believe it. His actions were a momentary lapse in terrible, awful judgment, and you had forgiven him. Why else would you have tried to help with his nosebleed? There’s no way you’d let something like this drive a rift in the trio.

There’s just no way.

-

“You’ve been avoiding him, haven’t you?”

There are times when you forget that Iwaizumi can be just as perceptive as Oikawa. For the last two weeks, you would, more often than not, avoid them during lunch. You attempt to show up at their volleyball practice as late as possible, saying that your club activities went longer than usual to prepare for upcoming competitions. You still walk on the opposite side from Oikawa on the way home and only give the bare minimum answers to any of his questions, leaving very little room to continue conversation. The atmosphere is heavy and awkward, tension so thick that Iwaizumi would need a chainsaw to cut through it.

This time you’re on the roof of the school. It’s cliché, so cliché, but the weather was too hard to ignore. Mostly cloudy with a slight wind, the perfect temperature without feeling too hot or too cold. You loved being outside during these days, and you had weaved as fast as possible through the emerging crowd of third years, up the stairs, and onto your personal sanctuary. Your bento is half-eaten when Iwaizumi makes his presence known. You should’ve seen this coming.

“He’s worried about you, y’know?”

“I know.”

“He misses you.”

“I know.”

“...he wants to know if you’re avoiding him because of that incident.”

“...which one?”

“The kiss.”

You whip your head in his direction, giving Iwaizumi an incredulous and affronted look. Instinctively, Iwaizumi throws his hands up, signaling that you shouldn’t shoot the messenger. God, Oikawa could be such a clueless buffoon sometimes. You scoff and nearly snort. Iwaizumi looks about ready to tear his hair out.

“So the great king thinks that I’m avoiding him over something that we haven’t talked about that happened a few months ago?”

Iwaizumi can’t find the words when you slam your bento box down on the ground, chopsticks thrown haphazardly on top and almost rolling off the edges. Iwaizumi catches them as you stand up in anger and begin to pace in front of him.

“Who does he think he is? He’s got a decent following of fangirls to help stroke his ego, and I’m sure some of them are more than willing to worship the ground he walks on. His teammates practically idolize him -- sans you -- but he thinks I’m losing sleep over some kiss we had months ago? It would make much more sense if this had been a couple of weeks after that, but we’re talking months right now! How is it," you stop in your stride, bottom lip beginning to tremble as you look down at Iwaizumi. "How is it that he’s one of my best friends who’s known me for almost 10 years, a genius in his own way, but still can’t tell that I’m avoiding him because I’m scared of him?”

This time, Iwaizumi is confused.

“You’re scared of Oikawa?” He asks, trying to confirm what he just heard.

You let out a long breath, forcing yourself to simmer down and keep a cool head. Part of you feels guilty, yet another part feels justified for your actions. You were only protecting yourself; it was only natural.

“I’ve never seen him like that,” you begin, gingerly sitting back down next to him. The comfort of your best friend that you’ve been denying yourself of is granted as you rest your head on his shoulder. You link an arm around his as well as you begin to curl into a familiar position. Iwaizumi only naturally rests his head on top of yours, hands folded in his lap and legs stretched out.

“I’ve never seen him look so angry, even when that one kid in second grade tried to make fun of you. Or even when someone took the shit talking too far at an official game last year. But he was ready, Iwa-kun. He was ready to displace Tobio out of sheer anger and spite. I know he knows better now. I’ve seen how much better he meshes with you all on the court and attempts to bring the best out of everyone. But it’s hard to look at him sometimes and forget what he was then. What if he gets mad like that at us one day? What if he tries to hit you?”

What if he tries to hit me? is left unsaid, but they ring loud and clear in both of your heads.

“The idiot knows that I could take him down in a fight if it ever came to it. And since it’s apparently not obvious, I’m just letting you know that Shittykawa would rather throw himself off a cliff before ever laying a finger on you like that.”

“But how can you guarantee that?” You argue back, lifting your head up to look him square in the eyes. You want to see if the same hesitancy is reflected in his orbs, the same uncertainty that had been slowly building up in you as an ugly beast. Instead, his eyes are steady and full of promise, never straying from yours as he ends the debate.

“You can trust me. And if I’m wrong, I promise I’ll do anything to make up for it, though the chances are very, very low. They’re practically non-existent.”

And if Iwaizumi says so, well…then it probably is so.

“...I trust you then,” you comply, your head leaning down to rest on his shoulder again. “You better be right.”

“I know I am.”

Silence.

“If you’re not going to eat the rest of your bento, you should give it to him. He’d be happy to see you.”

A few sighs later, a couple of stretches, some steps down the stairs, you find yourself stuck at the door of their classroom. You can see him with his jacket on, head buried in his arms on his desk and turned towards the windows. Iwaizumi gives you an encouraging pat on the shoulder and you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Somehow you find yourself demurely sitting in the empty desk chair in front of him, hands clutching your bento box and chopsticks. Iwaizumi stands by you and watches as you quietly gulp.

“Tooru, wake up.”

Oikawa thinks he’s dreaming. More often than not, you had plagued his visions in sleep, often ending with you attempting to wake him up, but it had been spoken by his mother. He would be disappointed that it wasn’t you by his bedside trying to goad him out from under the sheets.

“Tooru, wake up. I have food.”

This is different. His eyes are bleary and caked with exhaustion, vision catching the light that peaks from under his elbows. Her voice is so close -- he has to give in and just look. Oikawa lifts his head and stares in front of him. He blinks once, then twice, then multiple times, and you’re still there. This is not a dream, he concludes. This is too good to be a dream.

You watch him warily as he attempts to gather his bearings. In the meantime, you open your bento and grab the last onigiri. When Oikawa begins to form the sounds for your name, you quickly stuff the rice ball into his mouth, causing him to give a muffled protest and use one hand to prevent the food from dropping. You watch with muted delight as everything begins to hit him all at once: the food in his mouth, you in front of him with a close-lipped smile, Iwaizumi leaning on the desk next to you two, the sunlight beaming through the windows.

His eyes slightly water, choosing wisely to not say anything for now. Oikawa dutily finishes the rice ball before you place the bento in front of him with chopsticks neatly arranged to the right of it. His hands shoot out to cover yours before they leave the bento, squeezing gently as he looks at you with apologetic puppy eyes. You can’t stop your smile from widening, and only then does Oikawa happily let go, thank the food, and begin to chow down with a gusto that had been missing for the last week.

Things are going to be okay. Unless that group of fangirls seething at you over in the corner is an indication of something otherwise.

-

You turn sixteen when Oikawa gets his first, real girlfriend.

It’s your first year at Aoba Johsai and Oikawa has captured the hearts of many people from around the area, be it still from middle school, or even some of the upperclassmen. Those who are engrossed in school volleyball were surprised to hear that he didn’t matriculate into Shiratorizawa. And because Oikawa keeps most everyone at arm’s length, only very few people know the reason why. It wasn’t that he was good enough to get in, that’s for sure -- it had mainly been him refusing to “serve” Ushijima. The Herculean boy can criticize his choices all he wants, but Oikawa will never step down from his pedestal willingly.

What no one knows besides Oikawa himself is that Ushijima was only 70% of the reason. The other 30%? He was not going to be the one that separates the trio. What a hypocrite he would be if he had left after having so passionately convinced Iwaizumi that the three of you would always be with each other.

Little do the two boys know that you had seriously considered going to Shiratorizawa. They knew how smart you were as you consistently placed in the top 5 of your class throughout middle school. What they didn’t catch onto was also how well you did in math club and chess club -- to be fair, they knew you excelled, they just weren’t sure of the details. Inquiries about your competitions were always answered in team format: we did well or we placed pretty high. The same existed for chess competitions -- you weren’t a national champion by any means, but you were still somewhat recognized. But again, the same answers were given: we all did well. Math club and chess club never had the public presence that other clubs did. Very few cared, and much less was said.

Before Oikawa pointed out how disgusted he was by the idea of going to Shiratorizawa, you had studied for their entrance exams in your spare time. You didn’t play any sports, so those scholarships were out of the question. It’d all have to be based on merit and you were ready to prove yourself. You had gotten past the first two rounds of exams without them knowing, and your nights only became longer and longer as the material increased in difficulty. But then the two boys talked about going to Aoba Johsai together since they were invited anyways, and not long after, you found yourself at the entrance of the testing center with Oikawa and Iwaizumi on either side, putting Shiratorizawa to the back of your mind.

Things are more brutal in high school. Subjects are more difficult, classes take more time, after-school activities often extend past the sunset. There are physically not enough hours in a day to spend nearly the amount of time you used to have with Oikawa and Iwaizumi. The fangirls increase, Iwaizumi’s irritation becomes more exaggerated, and Oikawa becomes too nice on the fan-service.

He’s the triple threat: smart, kind, an amazing volleyball player. You and Iwaizumi can only roll your eyes as he plasters on his fakest grin for the crowd of girls huddling around him, demanding his attention. A part of him is thankful that so many seem to admire him. As much as he won’t return the affection, he welcomes the non-stop stroking of his ego. It does wonders at keeping his insecurities at bay, even if he knows that everything is superficial and surface level. They think they know him, but only a handful of people truly understand his personality.

So when Oikawa announces on the train home that he’s taking a girl out on a date, you and Iwaizumi can only passively nod, thinking that nothing will come of it. Then the second date happens, the third, the fourth, and then the stamp of the label between the two.

“I have a girlfriend now, guys!”

“Like actually? Sounds fake to me,” Iwaizumi scoffs, Oikawa taking offense.

“You wound me, Iwa-chan! What do you take me for, a heartless player?”

“Somewhat,” you jokingly supply, eyes still trained on your notes from your biology class. You don’t need to physically see him to know that he’s pouting and threatening to stick his tongue out at you. “Who’s the poor girl?” You ask, not really expecting much.

“She’s in your class, actually. Tachi Misaki?”

Your eyes stop registering any of the text that you’ve written. How did you miss that? How did you miss the fact that the girl he’d been dating was sitting only two rows away from you?

“Well,” you reply, clearing your throat. “All I can say is that you’re shooting above your level.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad, plus she’s really smart and pretty. She seems kinda low maintenance, pretty chill. Makes pretty good cookies. You think I could get her to learn how to make milk bread? But only if she has time.”

A heavy sigh leaves you as you stick a pencil between the pages and snap the notebook shut. Iwaizumi looks deep in thought before asking, “You think you’ll be able to handle her?”

“I mean, I’ve been going out on dates with her up ‘til now. She seemed fine and said she knew how busy my training schedule was. Like I said, she’s chill. Doubt she’s ever going to be super clingy or anything like that.”

By this time, you’ve all arrived at Oikawa’s house. He waves goodbye as he enters the front door, leaving Iwaizumi to walk you home.

“I give it three months, max,” you tell him. It’s mean, but you know Oikawa. He’ll be the most caring boyfriend in the beginning, but then he’ll get too comfortable, too complacent. He’ll unknowingly rely on the other person to comply with his needs rather than continuing to compromise to meet theirs. It’s only a matter of time before Misaki realizes that.

“I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt...maybe he’ll finally wake up, y’know. He’ll have an excuse to stop putting in extra practice or do something other than watching Shiratorizawa matches ‘til 2AM.”

At that, you cast a disbelieving look at him, his eyes catching yours. It isn’t long until you’re both failing to keep your laughter in. Oikawa Tooru? Ditching the opportunity for extra practice? Over his dead body.

Your estimation comes to fruition when Oikawa lightly dunks his forehead to lay on top of yours during the train ride home. The three of you had been standing near a pole, your own arm linked around it for some balance as you review and scribble some extra things into your notes from class. Oikawa is hanging on by a handle while Iwaizumi is grasping the part of the pole above your head.

“Misaki-chan broke up with me,” he spoke, loud enough for Iwaizumi to hear as well.

“Did she say why?” You ask, unable to move your head as you stare at the flap of his jacket.

“Becauseimtooobsessedwithvolleyball,” he mutters quickly.

“Say that again? And louder?” Iwaizumi teases.

Sigh. Straighten. “Because I’m too obsessed with volleyball,” he repeats a little bit louder, looking slightly ashamed and embarrassed that he, the great king of the court, the sole subject of so many girls’ affection, was ultimately dumped. The other part of the embarrassment masked the guilt he felt inside, having taken advantage of Misaki’s affections for him. Your eyes meet Iwaizumi’s, knowing that the conversation from months ago wasn’t said for naught. The sad, inevitable truth was there, and someone had to say it.

“It’s okay, Oikawa,” Iwaizumi nagged, patting the bachelor’s back. “You gotta make compromises, too.”

“But she knew! And we went on dates. That’s compromises, right?” Oikawa bemoaned, stubborn and petulant as ever. “It’s not like she wasn’t warned…”

“How many times did you guys go on a date?” You ask, attempting to get him to see reason. You know that the truth is there. He’s just fighting against full acceptance.

“Mmm, three times. No, four.”

“Three times in three months? Jesus Christ,” you mutter under your breath. “Okay okay, um, what’d you guys do on the dates?”

“(Y/n)-chan, are you jealous? You wanna go on a date with me?” He teases, a pointer finger poking your cheek. You squint at him before (gently) slapping the back of his head, causing him to rub the area out of mock pain.

“Ya, do you want to die?” You threaten. “I will throw you off this train if I have to.”

“Can I help?”

“Iwa-chan! Why are you on her side?? Shit, I need new friends.”

“Good riddance.”

“Stoooppp!”

From then on, Oikawa swears off girlfriends in high school. Everyone is too busy, and no one is going to understand him and be okay with what he does. Volleyball is his passion and dream, why is that so hard to get through people’s heads?

(But he knows that as much as he protests, he couldn’t give Misaki what she wanted. He wanted to make it work, he really did.)

The horde of fangirls only grows over the years. He’d rather hold a torch for no one than to try again. Nothing mattered more than a victory against Shiratorizawa and moving on to nationals. The fangirls’ affection would make up for any lack of a love life and Iwaizumi can only shake his head as a trail of hopeful hearts are left in the setter’s wake.

There are times when Oikawa is incredibly thankful for you, that at least he has some sort of close female companion that’s not his sister or mother. Even if you’re busier than ever, you still make time for him and Iwaizumi, whether it be attending their late practices or making sure that they finish their homework over the weekends. They can’t play if they’re failing classes.

(Y/n)’s personality is what he wants in a girlfriend, Oikawa realizes one night. Someone chill, someone understanding of his lifestyle, someone who goes out of their way to spend time with him. Someone he feels a connection with no matter the distance, someone he wouldn’t hesitate to go to if they needed him, someone who would always, always be there--

But he can’t possibly date you. Why risk losing you when he already has you within his grasp? There’s no need to worry about making time or planning for dates, no need to worry about coming up with a gift for White Day (as if he already doesn’t). There’s no need to worry about you leaving him now when his ugly, petty side manifests from time to time because you’ve seen it all. You would never leave him, he reaffirms to himself. You will always be by his side no matter where he is. He can always count on you to be in the bleachers during games, front and center, with the rest of the school cheer crowd. He can always count on you to lend him a shoulder, to pick up the phone at 4AM when he’s woken up anxious with thoughts going at a million a mile, to hand him two slices of milk bread on the weekends from their favorite bakery, to keep him in line with Iwaizumi.

Why risk voiding himself of all that, of so many memories, just to pursue the chance for some more intimacy?

And as Oikawa’s fingers hover over his lips, his mind reeling with flashbacks on how that kiss with you felt even two years later, the last thing he registers before succumbing to the nothingness of sleep is the painful tightening of his chest.

-

Oikawa is seventeen when he is reminded of how easy it is for him to lose you.

The three of you are sitting on a checkered blanket on top of a hill that overlooks the nearby area. A plastic bag holds a mix of canned beers and hard ciders, some empty and others waiting to be consumed. You’re taking it a little farther than you usually do, typically sipping one through the night. Yet you’re on your third and the two boys can only look at you with slight concern.

Your finals were particularly difficult -- part of you had still been recovering from the vicarious loss against Shiratorizawa, knowing how hard your two friends had taken it. It had only caused Oikawa and Iwaizumi to spend even more time in the gym after practice, a ferocity and drive in their muscles that you had never observed before. The amount of time and energy it took from you to forcibly change and drag them away from the court was substantial. Sleepless nights were dedicated to thinking of ways on how to lift them back up from whatever mental hell they created for themselves. In a sense, those nights paid off, but not without a price.

The alcohol tingles through your bloodstream and seems to slow everything down. You’re not drunk, but you don’t think you could appreciate the scenery before you as much as you are now if you were completely sober. Oikawa is going on about the constellations in the night sky, Iwaizumi teasing him relentlessly, and you can’t bother to fight the lazy smile that stretches across your face. Would you still have these nights with them if you had gone to Shiratorizawa?

“Did you know,” you softly interrupt them, unable to keep the secret any longer. It’s been two years, surely it couldn’t hurt. “Did you know...that I would’ve gone to Shiratorizawa if it hadn’t been for you two?”

The sound of cicadas has nothing on the sudden pounding of Oikawa’s heartbeat. Iwaizumi has an equally flabbergasted look on his face, searching your own as you pull up your knees and rest your chin on top of them. The lack of a verbal response only makes you chuckle, reaching down to grab your can and take another sip.

“Evidently it didn’t happen,” you drawl and then giggle. “Be-because I’m obviously at Seijou--”

“That’s not funny,” Oikawa interjects, voice hard and stern. “That’s not funny, you don’t get to say that and expect us to laugh it off. Why the fuck didn’t you tell us?”

“Why does it matter so much?” You mumble, suddenly desiring for the earth to open up and swallow you whole. “I clearly didn’t go, okay? Jesus--”

“No!” The setter yells, his face morphed by rage. “You were going to leave us? Why would that ever get into your brain, I mean, did we do something? Did we do something to push you to do something like that?”

“Hey, dude, calm down--”

“Don’t you get it, Iwa-chan? She was going to leave us and go to fucking Shiratorizawa of all places! She--”

“I thought you guys were going to accept their invite, okay?!” You interject, exasperated and frustrated. Evidently, you made a mistake in bringing this up now. “I didn’t realize how much you guys hated Ushijima’s guts and immediately changed plans once Aoba Johsai was on your agenda. So just stop, alright? It was two years ago and nothing’s gonna change.”

Oikawa pauses and attempts to reign in his anger. Why hadn’t you talked about it with them at the time? Why can’t he stop thinking about you donned in their maroon and white uniform, sitting casually in the bleachers of the gym, and instead of waiting for him and Iwaizumi, you’re waiting for Ushijima? Why can’t he stop thinking about how wrong that image looks, how much he’d like to be there and snatch you away because you’re his, you can’t abandon him--

“I’m sorry,” you apologize so mousily. Oikawa glances and sees the glisten of unshed tears, immediately relaxing and feeling guilty for being so hot-headed. It was the alcohol, for sure, he rationalizes before he turns to face you, scooching as close as possible to you. You’re still sitting in a fetal position as he slides one arm behind your waist and another wedges between your stomach and thighs. He buries his head into the crook of your neck. Your body welcomes the familiar heat and continues to relax as Iwaizumi lays his head on your shoulder. Instead of tears of sadness, you can only bask in the realization of how lucky you are two have these two doofuses in your life. The tears spill over as you sniffle, overcome with emotions that could only be so pronounced under the influence of alcohol.

“I’m so fucking lucky to have you guys,” you blubber. Oikawa’s grip tightens for a second as a tacit return of affection. “And I promised, didn’t I? I promised that I’d never leave you two, so you’re stuck with me. I wouldn’t wanna leave, even if you made me try.”

That’s right, Oikawa remembers. You promised -- and you would never go back on your word.

-

Oikawa is eighteen years old when he begins to truly understand the extent of your selflessness and how much of a selfish monster he can be when it comes to you.

It’s the night of their loss against Karasuno High, their last chance at defeating Shiratorizawa now gone and irreversible. Though tears had been shed towards his teammates, an overwhelming amount of gratitude and pride to have gone down fighting their hardest, the regret was eating at the two boys like nothing else.

Oikawa’s mother is working late -- you met them at the doorstep when they returned from the team dinner, saying nothing but holding up a bag of their favorite desserts. Minutes later, the three of you are a tangled and cuddled mess with the television quietly airing some old rerun of a child’s cartoon. It’s only when the boys’ cries have dwindled down into occasional sniffling do you dare to speak.

“I’m so proud of you two,” you begin but already feel yourself choke up again. “You did nothing but your best. I know how much this meant to you guys, but this isn’t the end. Time doesn’t stop here and you’re gonna go on to be even better players in uni. So don’t give up, okay?” You ask, hands squeezing whoever’s arm or arms you might be holding on to.

“Don’t give up when there’s so much left to fight for.”

They know you’re right. You’re always right in times like these.

Iwaizumi leaves about an hour later, eyes brighter and a small shit-eating grin on his face after about 13 brutal rounds of Uno. He won the majority of them, thankful that there was something to distract him for now. Oikawa promises to walk you home soon since it’s so late, earning a glare that could only mean “You fucking better, you shithead” and waving him off. Such a worry-wart. But when the front door clicks closed, the silence takes over once again.

Oikawa stands from the couch and stretches, gives a few twists before turning to look back at you. You’re curled up with your phone in hand, probably scrolling through social media or catching up on the news. “Hey,” he calls for you attention and holds out a hand. Don’t do this, he tells himself. “There’s something in my room that I need to return to you. Come with me?” Only delight fills his veins when you nod and set your phone down on the couch before sliding your hand into his. They stay linked as he leads you to his room, only separating when he lets go and you take refuge on this edge of his neatly-made bed.

As childish as he can be, you forget how tidy Oikawa is with his room. The books on his shelf are meticulously arranged by last name, photo frames strategically and aesthetically placed in empty spaces. His writing utensils are carefully arranged in a row on the side of his desk, and his drawer looks much of the same. Stapler, tape, sticky notes and tabs are all methodically placed, somehow speaking true to his leadership abilities.

Your observations are cut short when Oikawa sits down next to you with a book in hand, one that you had lent him months ago. To be honest, you completely forgot that he had it and you make it known to him.

“But did you like it?”

He nods with a small smile, yet his eyes are staring at the wall with a faraway look. He’s contemplating something, drawing plans in his brain, and after a couple of glances towards you, Oikawa gives in.

Much like that Friday afternoon four years ago, he leans his forehead on yours. A wave of deja-vu crashes over you as you’re once again plummeted into the dark ocean of his eyes. He keeps his gaze steady, searching for any kind of resistance. He needs something that only you can give him.

“You don’t have to say yes,” he whispers. You can feel a shiver crawl up your spine at the heaviness in his voice. “But I don’t know who else to ask. I don’t know why I can’t think of anyone but you.

“So can I please kiss you?”

What?

“But why?” You ask, the confusion so obvious in two words. Oikawa can only sigh to himself before carefully maneuvering you to straddle him, facing no objection from you. It’s just a kiss, he thinks to himself. It’s just a kiss that he wants with no strings attached to help with the emotional turmoil that only you could begin to understand. Your heartbeat feels like you’ve been swimming against the current for hours, your body betraying you as you let him bring one of your hands to his cheek. His eyes flutter closed and he languidly nuzzles into your palm, lips placing the softest, most intimate kiss there.

“I don’t know,” he breathes. Your heart aches and aches. “I swear that all I do know is that it can only be you. Please, please let me have this.”

And you can’t help but nod.

Unlike last time, Oikawa doesn’t surge forward. He instead bides his time, lips only barely ghosting over yours as he holds onto your waist. The contact becomes progressively fuller, more purposeful, as he completely slants his mouth over yours. In response, your fingers tangle themselves in the strands at the base of his neck and he finds himself drawing you closer to him, arms now completely wound around your waist.

This is a sin, he has to remind himself. This is a sin that only benefits him -- he is taking, he is stealing, he is feeding on an elixir at the cost of your soul. But his desires only overpower his guilt because as devilish as he may be, the sin feels like heaven. A paradise made by you created solely for him.

He catches your bottom lip between his teeth before gently sucking, eliciting the most delicate moan from your throat. The sound only flips a switch in his head as he applies more pressure, desperate to hear it again. Mine, he thinks as he begins to litter kisses down your neck, teeth catching skin to leave marks on you. Mine, he screams to himself as his hands peek under the edge of your shirt, skin on skin.

“Tooru--” you pant, trying to lean back and gather your thoughts. This is too much to handle. If you’re not careful, you’ll unlock the only thing that you swore you’d take to your grave, the three words that could ruin everything.

“I’m sorry,” he gasps before diving in for another quick kiss. “I’m not asking for sex. I just need you,” he confesses, pecks littered between his words. Oh, how you wish this were under different circumstances. How you wish that you could utter those three words without a care in the world and know that they’ll be reciprocated. Your lips meet his again and it feels like the earth has stopped on its axis.

Both of you are unaware of the amount of time that passes. Fervent kisses slowly diminish to a languid pace until it comes to a complete stop. Oikawa can only lean his forehead against yours, eyes hooded and chest heaving with you in a similar state. Neither of you have enough energy to find the right words. His arms only draw you into his chest and he can’t help but marvel at how perfect of a fit you are for him.

“I should probably head home,” you whisper. Being the man-child that he is, he shakes his head vehemently and momentarily refuses to let you escape his embrace.

“Do you have to?” He tiredly grumbles, reluctantly loosening his grip with a sigh as you slide off his lap. You nod and bend forward to give him one last kiss, the separation causing him to whine. You make your way towards his body-length mirror, attempting to smooth out the wrinkles and fix your hair. Oikawa hugs you from behind, his limbs wrapping around your shoulders.

“We’re okay, right?”

You nod. Don’t we have to be?

-

And that’s when Oikawa Tooru begins to slip through your fingers.

It’s a combined effort, really. Everybody’s trying to wrap things up, all the big competitions are jam packed into the last remaining weekends, and making room for last-minute college entrance exams. If people weren’t already at their wit’s end, then you can barely fathom the amount of anxiety and stress coursing through the halls of the school.

You use this to your advantage, finding yourself unable to go home with the boys, unable to visit them on the weekends, unable to respond to text messages frequently. You begin to learn to look past Oikawa rather than at him, not bothering to spare a second glance when he’s caught in the hallways by a group of infatuated admirers. You fail to see the way his eyes follow your passing figure or how he slows his pace when walking by your classroom, hoping to get a glimpse of you. You fail to see the disappointment on his face when your spot in the bleachers is empty. So he falters, redirects, and lets the distance increase.

The only time you reconvene with the two is after the graduation ceremony. Your mother would kill you if you left without a picture of you and your best friends, and clearly their mothers are thinking the same thing. Outside in the courtyard, the women spot each other, your mother almost dragging you behind her. They’re trying to find their respective sons, though it doesn’t take long because the sudden clambering and screaming of girls can only serve a few purposes. Oikawa and Iwaizumi are craning their heads before they’re able to finally spot the frantic waving from their mothers.

Soon, they’re in front of you, both individually giving a hug. “Congratulations,” you tell them with as much happiness as possible. It’s not like this will be the last time you’ll see them -- you’re all attending the same university. They thank you and return the festivities. It’s hard to miss how your hug with Oikawa lasts a little bit longer than normal, even more so when his hands trail down your arms before slyly slipping a small object into your hand. As you unfurl your fist, a shiny circular object is gleaning back at you. You spot a stray thread from his jacket and it hits you -- the devilish fox has given you his second button. You’d like to pretend to be unaffected, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

“And if I don’t accept?” You challenge. For a second, Oikawa is genuinely taken aback. It’s obvious he didn’t expect you to consider rejecting the button and stumbles over his attempts to come up with a comeback. When he spots you fighting to contain your laughter, his embarrassment only pushes him to lightly shove your shoulder.

“For being my best female friend,” he elaborates. You deserve an award for containing the pain and bearing through it, pretending that his words don’t faze you in any ways. Iwaizumi only shakes his head at his friend’s idiocy -- what is he thinking?

“Oh I’m sorry,” you apologize in a mocking tone, pretending to bow. “Should I be groveling at your feet now like the other girls back there? Oh great king?”

“Why yes, I am indeed the great king--”

Smack. “You’re such an idiot,” Iwaizumi reprimands. The recipient of the hit pretends to bawl, resuming his childish antics once again.

That’s how high school ends, with two aching hearts and three families of laughter, all making way for the start of university.

-

Oikawa somehow makes it possible to balance his love life, volleyball, and his business major. Both he and Iwaizumi blend in nicely with the university team as your words from before ring in their brains. They could and are becoming better players -- high school suddenly seems so casual compared to the stakes at the university level. Teammates are constantly being scouted and the two begin to strive for the national team. Despite the fact that they barely see you anymore, Oikawa still dreams of his ideal future: he and Iwaizumi playing for Japan in Tokyo, with you having a job there and supporting them in the stands.

Sometimes he’s able to spot you on campus -- the building for the pharmacy program that you’re enrolled in is relatively far from the business building. Most times you’re walking with your classmates, giggling at something or engaged in a heated discussion. He thinks about how beautiful you look in your white coat with your hair tied back, your face donned with some makeup for the natural look and a pair of dainty earrings. Part of him boils in jealousy whenever there’s a male acting particularly close with you, but he knows he has no right to think that way. The thoughts only fuel him during volleyball practice, which seems to satisfy his coach.

It’s easy for him to like someone, he figures out two years in. It’s easy for him to get to know someone and pick up on their quirks. As a social butterfly, it’s not difficult for him to get along with his partner, but when it comes to developing deeper feelings...it just doesn’t happen. He wants so badly to reciprocate, especially considering how much effort some of his past partners have put in. But something stops him every time -- unwillingly, he’s become a master at letting people down easy, that he’s truly sorry he can’t reciprocate their love. On the other hand, Iwaizumi is pretty successful in his current relationship, going strong for the last year and a half. Oikawa seeks his advice at the club one night, keeping an eye out to see if there’s anyone he'd be willing to take home (not that he ever does).

At this point, Iwaizumi wonders how he’s still friends with him. Yes, he’s fiercely loyal and has been by Oikawa’s side since the beginning, but if the guy was going to do nothing but continue his descent into idiocy, there was very little he could do for him. (Y/n) had the same problem as Oikawa except you figured it out much, much faster.

“You idiot, you’re in love with another person.”

“...say what now?”

“That’s all it is. You’re in love with someone else. That’s why you feel like you can’t say it back when a different person tells you they love you.”

“If I was in love with someone else, wouldn’t I know?”

Yeah. Oikawa Tooru is a big, bumbling, messy pile of denial.

“You know what,” Iwaizumi sighs, setting his drink down before paying the tab. “You’re right. You’re in love with yourself.” Oikawa knows that he’s joking. Nothing could be farther from the truth -- he’s always dedicated himself to the happiness of others. That’s the role of him as a setter and captain: to bring out the best of his teammates’ abilities, but he can only do that if he’s at his best as well. His eyes cast another look into the dancing crowd. He downs his drink as someone catches his attention, also moving to pay his tab.

“Tell your girlfriend I said hi!”

Iwaizumi only gives him a lazy wave as he makes his way to the entrance. Oikawa is sliding his way onto the dance floor and when Iwaizumi spots who he’s wormed next to, he hopes that one day, Oikawa will really open his eyes.

Because he’s always going for girls who look wildly similar to you.

-

It’s hard to have an undefeated season. Some losses are harder than others and during the first two years, you, sweet, sweet (y/n), always managed to find him.

He needed you most on those rare days. Even after weeks of limited texting and quick passings on campus, there was a level of comfort that solely existed by being with you. He would attempt to joke and tease with you to put up a facade, but when you would lead him to his couch and leave your arms open, the veil would drop as he cried into your shoulder. He would then pick up his terrible, terrible habit of giving into sin (as long as he wasn’t dating anyone), selfishly knowing that you would never say no. He’ll ask you if this is okay, and you always say yes. The two of you never cross the line of anything more than making out, yet the kisses become less lust-ridden and more tender over time, laced with something much more meaningful.

(And with each time, it becomes harder and harder to refrain yourself from confessing.)

Oikawa reveled in being able to sigh against your lips, stealing your breaths from your lungs and even convincing you to stay the night. There were mornings when he truly felt that there was nothing better than waking up with his arm around your waist. He could squeeze you to his chest and wish for this all day. Sometimes, you woke up earlier than him and silently admired how peaceful he looked compared to the haggardness just hours before. With his hair so delicately splayed across his forehead, the ends curling up to defy gravity, a tiny scar dusting his right cheek, you would be painfully reminded of just how much you love him.

The last time you woke up next to him, you thought to yourself, “I can’t do this anymore.”

In the beginning of the third year, you fight every cell in your body to not go to him. Instead, you call him up and ask how he’s doing -- he doesn’t question it, doesn’t demand that you come see him. If there’s something preventing you from visiting him, he won’t ask about it. Even only a call brings him the warmth that he usually craved from you, though he knows nothing can satisfy him like your physical presence. The routine continues, volleyball practice becomes longer, and Oikawa thinks he’s finally getting used to this. This is the farthest you’ll distance yourself from him. There’s no way that you’d ever be more than a train ride away.

“are you guys free for coffee this weekend?” The text reads in the group chat. (Y/n) knows they don’t have a game, one of the rare breaks they get. Oikawa and Iwaizumi have the same schedules, so when Iwaizumi texts back “yh, where at?”, it’s for both of them.

“our favorite cafe restaurant by the bookstore okay? 1pm? my treat?”

“sounds good. see you then.”

“see you guys xx”

They think nothing of it -- it’s just a rare moment that everyone is free and able to catch up. Both dress up in their best casual streetwear, Oikawa even donning the glasses that you like so much. He’s nearly buzzing with excitement at finally being able to talk with you and have you within arm’s distance. Everything is normal when they walk into the cafe, spotting you in the corner booth. You’re quick to match their grins and give them both hugs, watching in delight as their eyes take in the milk bread, agedashi tofu, and a few other shareable dishes. They’re starting to think this is a bit of an apology meal for not having seen them in forever. It’s nice that whenever the three of you are together, there’s no awkwardness and everything seems to be back to normal.

Like how it’s supposed to be. But all good things must come to an end, right?

“It’s so nice being here with you two,” you laugh as you lean back against the vinyl leather. “I’m glad we could do this.”

“We need to do this more often,” Iwaizumi agrees. “We don’t have as many classes since we’re juniors now. Practice is still always the same so we should have more time to meet up. What about you?”

“Same here. Actually,” you pause, hesitant and scrambling for words. You’ve even rehearsed what you’re about to tell them, yet everything has been forgotten.

“I’m...I’m applying to doctoral programs in America.”

The boys look like two deer caught in the headlights. Oikawa is immediately filled with a sense of dread and fear -- his worst nightmare is slowly transforming into reality, unearthing its ugly head. A train ride is one thing, but a 13 hour plane ride? Time differences? A whole different country on the other side of the world?

“That’s...wow. That’s um,” Iwaizumi clears his throat. “That’s a big move. Why did you decide on America? I thought you wanted to start working after?”

“I’m enjoying pharmaceutical research more than I ever thought I would. We just actually got back from an international conference a few weeks ago -- there were so many interesting topics and studies being done. And...I thought it’d be nice to travel somewhere, you know. Have a change of pace.”

And you’re not completely lying. You’ve never really been outside of Japan before. Part of you wants to travel and see more of the world, especially after the conference in Berlin. Famous structures and streets that had been mere images on your computer or phone screen were suddenly physically before your eyes. You wanted to gain a better grasp of what it could offer and what you’ve been missing out on.

The other part of you felt stuck here. You needed an excuse to end the never-ending cycle that was Oikawa. It was an infinite loop of running to him, falling into his arms, attempting to put an obstacle on the bridge between you two, but then crossing over it to fall back into his arms again. You were never close to being free of him, not that you wanted to, but you wanted to know who you could be almost nearly without him. You wouldn’t be you if you were completely void of Oikawa Tooru. He would always have a part of your heart and be a part of your soul, no matter what.

“When would you leave?” Oikawa timidly asks, his gaze directed towards the crumbs on his plate.

“I’m actually on track to graduate by the end of this academic year. If I find a research group that wants me and is willing to provide me with adequate funding...I’d probably leave pretty soon after graduation. Y’know, get settled, meet my group, and...yeah.”

Silence ensues as the two boys figure out what to say. Your leg is bouncing restlessly beneath the table, fingers quietly tapping the side of your cup. Iwaizumi seems to be taking it pretty well, but Oikawa...you can’t tell.

All emotion is wiped from his face. He’s choosing to pierce holes in the wall by your head and his arms are crossed in front of his chest. He’s trying so hard to be mature about this and be happy for you, yet all he can register is the fact that you’re leaving. You’re leaving them, you’re leaving him, you’ll be gone forever and you’ll never come back, you’re going to find new friends, a new partner, a new bed that belongs to someone else to fall asleep in, oh how wretched--

“We’re gonna miss you,” Oikawa says, voice barely any louder than the tranquil music playing over the speakers. You feel like you’ve been transported back to when you were ten and breaking the news of quitting volleyball, hearing the same four words spoken in a very similar manner. Your heart settles and softens, you relax and reach over the table to grab one of their hands in each of yours. Iwaizumi doesn’t hesitate to give a friendly squeeze while Oikawa’s grip is only limp at best. But after a few seconds, it tightens and tightens until you understand the message: please don’t go.

“We’ve spent our whole lives together. I’ve told you two this before and I’ll say it again -- I’m so lucky that I have you guys. Part of me is able to do this because I know you’ve always got my back and I know that’s not going to change, even when I’m halfway across the world. So keep in touch? Please?”

“Of course,” Iwaizumi reaffirms and Oikawa nods. You express your thanks and retract your hands, trying to ignore the way that Oikawa’s fingers linger for as long as they can without being too obvious. The three of you eventually leave, bidding goodbye to your waitress and cashier, and continue to amble down the streets. Time always flies when you’re with them, conversation never truly ending. Eventually Iwaizumi has to leave to meet his girlfriend for dinner and Oikawa, being the gentleman that he always is, ensures that he’ll bring you home safe and sound. As the two of you wave goodbye and watch him disappear into the crowd, Oikawa offers his arm to you. He sees the pleasant surprise on your face and can’t help the smile on his own as you wrap your hand around the crook of his elbow.

The two of you continue to chat -- you fill him in on all the little details of your life that he had missed. In return, he does the same, eliciting so many different emotions from you. The pain in your heart increases when you realize just exactly how far away you’ve been from him. You choose to ignore that he’s taking the long way to your apartment, relishing in this rare time you have with him. Oikawa is the only person to make you feel like there truly wasn’t enough time in the world to spend with the one you love.

This must be what it’s like to date you, he realizes. Your hand is still wrapped around his arm, even when the limb became tired and settled for tucking his hand into his jacket pockets. He drinks in every laugh, every scoff, every grin, every gasp of surprise. Very few things bring him greater satisfaction than the way your eyes sparkle when he buys one of your favorite snacks off a food cart or when he points out something that reminds him of you. He never wants you to let go -- all he wants now is to collapse into your bed and wake up with his arm around your waist once again.

Before he knows it, they’re in front of your door, fiddling with your keys. He leans against the wall by your door as you locate the right one, but you hesitate.

“This was really fun. Thanks for basically spending your whole day with me.”

“I wouldn’t trade it for the world,” he replies, unable to stop the words from flowing out of his mouth. “It’s been a while since we’ve hung out like this.”

“Yeah, it has been.”

Silence.

“I guess I’ll see you around?” He asks with eyes full of hope. You’d have to be blind to not notice them, yet you would still be able to tell by the tone of his voice.

“Of course,” you reply with a small smile. “Until you get sick of me.”

Oikawa scoffs, but puts on a sincere face as he quips back, “Never.”

In all the years that you’ve been friends with him, nothing has ever sent blood rushing to your cheeks so fast. Your heartbeat quickens at an alarming rate and it doesn’t help as he begins to lean down, getting closer and closer to your face.

At the last second, he dips his head to the right and places a soft, lingering kiss on your cheek. Before you can blink twice, he’s already walking backwards with the cheekiest grin on his face, a cute little wave towards you. He then turns on his heels and makes his way to the elevator with a bit of a skip in his step.

You don’t even remember unlocking your door and toeing off your shoes. Your entire body feels like lead, yet also buzzing with excitement. And as you’re collapsed on your bed, staring at the ceiling, all your brain can comprehend and tell you is that Oikawa Tooru is truly the bane of your existence.

-

Oikawa does his best to stay true to his word.

Even with fewer classes, there’s always something that he needs to finish: that project, this homework assignment, extra practice -- sometimes, he wishes he hadn’t been in uni. Or at least picked a different major. When he can, he tries to visit you on nights, sometimes sheepishly empty-handed, other times holding a bag of your favorite pastries. “Are you trying to fatten me up?” You joke one night before biting into your favorite flavor of macaron. “More to hold and hug,” he teases back, causing you to give him a light whack on his arm.

He’s there when you nervously submit all your applications. He’s there when you receive offers to interview. He’s there when you get your first official acceptance. And of course, he’s there when you make your final decision. There’s no hesitation when you jump into his arms after submitting your confirmation of acceptance to University of California – San Francisco, though he wishes you could be there forever. Weeks begin to roll by, much quicker than he’d like. The usual cheery and joyful chattiness of when he usually visits evolves into comfortable silence, both of you settling for watching some space documentary on Netflix most nights. Oikawa hates how the inevitable is slowly creeping up his spine and more often than not, he’s torn between wanting to either just rip the Bandaid off or try to stop time.

The approaching reality of you physically leaving him starts to take its true form when you ask him to tag along on the hunt for suitcases. You want to get at least one of those large suitcases that have to be checked in to try to bring as much stuff as possible. The whole time, Oikawa is half numb, though he tries his best to give his honest opinions on the suitcases you consider. He knows what a big step this is as he watches you eagerly pay for your final selection. However, nothing hits him harder than when he comes into your apartment a week before your graduation and there’s a wide array of empty, mismatched cardboard boxes in every room.

To drive the stake in even further, the recently purchased suitcase lies wide open in your bedroom with some stray objects already neatly tucked in. Yet the one that catches his eye is a picture frame placed in a bubble wrap sleeve. It holds the physical memory of you, him, and Iwaizumi at your high school graduation, each person with their own bouquet of congratulatory flowers. There’s a reason you have this specific shot framed out of all the ones between the parents combined; reason being the fact that Oikawa isn’t looking at the camera lens, but rather looking at you.

His eyes glinted with pride and care in that picture, a certain softness in his posture. The picture has always sat demurely in a back corner of your desk. However, some friends or recent classmates that have been in your room have taken note of it, excitedly asking you, “Is this your boyfriend??” It’s more painful when you have to tell them he’s not, only just a very close childhood friend. A very close childhood friend that you’ve kissed multiple times and will always give your heart to, but you leave that part unsaid. .  

Oikawa spends the night with you, taking much longer than usual to fall asleep. You’ve already passed out next to him, mouth slightly agape and hands curled up near your face. Quietly, he adjusts his weight onto his elbow, leaning his cheek into his hand. His other hand gently tucks the strands of hair that have fallen over your face behind your ear. To him, you look nothing short of angelic. He hates that he’s only able to spend time like this with you as the clock is ticking -- he wishes that he made more of an effort to meet and see you during your first two years. Perhaps he wouldn’t feel so anxious at the thought of you leaving. Perhaps the two of you would’ve established something that would guarantee your return.

At this thought, Iwaizumi’s words ring in his head.

You’re in love with someone else, that’s why you feel like you can’t say it back when a different person tells you they love you.

They continue to ring as he finally falls asleep. They ring as he only wakes up hours later, settling on trying to quickly whip up breakfast for you. They’re loudest when you quietly pad up to him and rest your chin over his shoulder, nearly scaring the shit out of him. Even then, his body can’t help but relax from the feeling of your body pressed against his back.

Even as he prepares for his finals, you’re in love with someone else.

Even in the midst of presenting a final project for class, you’re in love with someone else.

All the way up until he’s parked in a seat, arms cradling a bouquet of your favorite flowers, tucked between Iwaizumi and your mother at your graduation ceremony, you’re in love with someone else.

And when he’s cheering his loudest for you as you cross the stage, pausing to shake the university’s president’s hand and receive your diploma, his heart finally settles on the unshakeable truth that he probably knew all along.

I’m so fucking in love with (y/n).

“I’m so fucked,” he mutters to himself, but not quiet enough because Iwaizumi catches it.

“What’d you do, shithead?” He leans in to ask so your mother doesn’t hear. Oikawa only shakes his head, his leg subconsciously beginning to bounce anxiously. Iwaizumi takes a look at the leg, then a look at his face, and when he catches how Oikawa’s eyes follow you happily ambling off the stage, the realization hits him like a ton of bricks. After years and years of living in pure oblivion, Oikawa has finally understood just how much he loves you.

“God, you have such shit timing, you dickhead,” Iwaizumi groans, fingers pinching and massaging the bridge of his nose.

“What did he do?” His girlfriend on his other side asks. He leans over to briefly kiss her cheek, murmuring a “I’ll tell you later,” in her ear before turning back to his best friend.

Oikawa feels like a nervous schoolboy with the way his face is construed, his hands grasping the flower stems like it’s his lifeline. He begins to think about how he should confess to you – should it be during a candlelit dinner? On the roof of your apartment under the stars? Should he take you to a park or by the beach? A million more scenarios run through his head as the rest of the graduation ceremony proceeds. He stands in a daze as the students begin to file out, the families in the stands soon following suit. His body stiffly stands to follow your family and creaks like a rusty robot, absolutely unprepared to face you with his new revelation. The only thing that brings him out of his head is when Iwaizumi yanks him back by the collar of his shirt, practically choking him in the process. His throat coughs and fights for oxygen as he rubs at his neck, watching your mother disappear into the crows before turning to Iwaizumi with a pitiful and defeated look.

“What the hell was that for, Iwa-chan? Why—”

“You are not telling her right now, you hear me?” Iwaizumi threatens in a hushed voice.

“But—”

“She’s leaving. In a week. To America. Do I have to spell it out for you?”

“Can’t that be for her to decide? She can turn me down, but I need to tell her!” Oikawa cries out as the three of them do their best to stay out of other people’s way, pressing themselves to their seats as much as possible. People are casting them either curious or nasty looks for being obstacles in an increasingly heated argument, but they could also care less.

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes at him, then stabs a finger to his chest. “What you want, what you need…it’s always been that way for you when it comes to her. Have you ever stopped to consider what she wants?”

“Of course I have, what do you take me for?!”

“What do I take you for?! I take you for an idiot who spent years taking advantage of her!” Iwaizumi drives his point by jabbing the finger on his chest again. “I take you for an idiot who knew that she could never say no to you and you still used her whenever it was convenient! You think you’ve been such a martyr—”  

“I didn’t do that! I—”

“Then prove it,” Iwaizumi hisses. “Prove to us that you genuinely care about what she needs. You know what she needs right now? She needs us, her friends, to go out there, find her, and congratulate her with flowers. Then, we’re gonna go to our favorite place with her family and celebrate her. Today’s about her and her achievements. We’re gonna be happy for her because that’s what she needs today. That’s what she deserves.”

Most of the crowd have trickled towards the lobby by now, leaving the three of them with a few student workers running around to pick up trash and stray programs in preparation for the next ceremony. Iwaizumi sighs, seeking comfort in the way that his girlfriend slides her hand into his. Everything that he had been holding in is now out in the open.

“You think you can do that, Tooru?” He asks in a calmer voice.

“…yeah.”

Oikawa tries his best to keep his feelings at bay. They threaten to spill when your eyes drink in the bouquet he’s brought for you, a pure smile of delight as you lean in to catch a whiff of your favorite flowers. It’s even harder when you give him a friendly peck on the cheek, quickly moving to give Iwaizumi and his girlfriend hugs. He can’t stop sneaking glances your way during lunch, watching how happy you seem to be as you verbally recall the last three years. His mind does its best to stay involved in the conversation, yet it doesn’t cease to drift towards Iwaizumi’s words. It’s heart-wrenching because everything he said was true – he had knowingly taken advantage of your lack of resistance, had knowingly acknowledged that he was committing a certain sin in life, driven by greed and desire. He knew years ago that he could never get enough of you and would never be able to.

“…your plans after this?” He hears your mother ask you, her voice reminding him to be an active participant in this chat.

“I kind of just want to go home and get out of this dress, probably start up my packing again. I had to put that on hold with finals and everything.”

“We can come help you if you want.”

“It’s okay, Mom. I might even take a nap first.”

“You can take a nap while I help you pack,” Oikawa interjects without a thought. He just wants more time with you. You look skeptical and he puts on an affronted expression. “I’m a really neat and organized packer, thank you very much. You think I’m some poor slob who can’t properly fold a shirt?”

“It’s exactly what I think.”

“Hey, don’t be so mean! I’ll prove it.”

“Fine,” you say with a smirk widening. “But I’m kicking you out if it isn’t up to my standards.”

“Yes ma’am!” He replies like a soldier, comically saluting with two fingers. Iwaizumi shoots him his best warning glare as the table resumes chatting.

About an hour later, the two of you are walking side-by-side in the direction of your apartment. The pace is slow with your heels on, especially as they become more and more painful. Eventually, you let out a big huff and stop in your path to slip off your heels, picking them up by the straps and letting them hang off your fingers. Your gown, stole, and chords are draped over your other arm, the other hand holding onto the cap and flowers. Oikawa watches as you sigh happily and wiggle your toes before you continue the trek barefoot. He’s terrified that you’ll get a staph infection and stops you.

Without saying anything, he takes the graduation gown from your arm and fits it over you, thankful that the bottom of it nearly reaches your ankles. Your arms have a mind of their own as they slip into the sleeves. He crouches for bit and fiddles a little bit before pulling your zipper up, then takes your cap and fits it onto your head. Before you can question his actions, he sweeps around to lift you up in his arms bridal style, causing you to yelp at the sudden motion. One of your arms is already swung around his neck, the other just trying to make sure your heels, chords, and stole don’t drop. Oikawa adjusts his grip a little, then looks down at you.

“You okay?”

You’re incredibly flustered, saying nothing but giving a few nods. He gently smiles before bringing you closer to his chest. Eventually, you place everything into your lap, leaving your other arm free to lie over the flowers on your stomach. You have an internal battle with yourself on whether you should link your free limb around his neck or not – do you want to come off as clingy? Would Oikawa mind? Would it make him uncomfortable? You soon decide, fuck it. You just graduated, you deserve to be pampered a little bit, even if it means treating yourself to indulging in one of your longtime fantasies with the man you secretly love.

Even though your face is already pretty close to his, by wrapping both arms around him, you’re practically nuzzling into the side of his neck. He smells faintly of the cologne that you gifted him last year for his birthday. It brings you fond memories of your life with him so far, how even through all the pain of unrequited love, every second has been absolutely worth it.

“Thank you,” you murmur and tighten your grasp. “For everything. For being my best friend, for always being there for me.”

“You don’t need to thank me, silly,” he replies affectionately. “You know we love you, right?”

“I know. I just wanted to make sure that you knew how much I appreciate it, that’s all.”

“…I’m so proud of you, (y/n). Look at you, finishing in 3 years and going to California for your PhD. Maybe I should’ve tried harder to convince you to stay in Japan, but I know you wouldn’t have been as happy. Is it too late to still try to persuade you?”

You unwind an arm to smack his chest lightly, playfully scolding him as you fully hold onto him again.

“Don’t even think about it. Of course it’s too late.”

“Well, then there’s no harm in still trying, right?”

“Tooru!”

“Okay, okay, fine~.”

-

Once you’re home, you grab random articles of clothing from your closet before heading into the bathroom to change. Oikawa offers to find a vase for the bouquet during this time, your ears hearing the clinking of glass and the snipping of stems. You didn’t realize you had grabbed Oikawa’s spare jersey he had given you the summer before your first year of university, only noticing after you begin to fit it over your head. The flush in your cheeks is subtle as you slip on a pair of pajama shorts, a giddy feeling filling your chest.

When you step out of the bathroom and towards the kitchen, Oikawa’s back is facing you as he continues to arrange the flowers. Something about the scene feels comfortably domestic, as if Oikawa just returned home from work and decided to surprise you with a little gift, insisting that he put it together for you. You’re almost expecting him to give you a kiss on the cheek before saying, “I’m home, dear.”

In the midst of your thoughts, Oikawa is satisfied with his work, grabbing the vase and turning with the intent to let you see his work. He startles when he sees you leaning against the wall and staring at him, yet his heart fails to calm once he realizes you’re in his jersey. Part of you suddenly feels shy with the way he can’t stop admiring you, yet another part is filled with newfound confidence. Your feet softly pad towards him, relishing in the fact that you can render the great Oikawa Tooru speechless. He lets you take the vase from him, still frozen in his spot as you gently place a kiss on the corner of his lips. If he were more composed and more cognizant of his actions, he would have taken you up in his arms and kissed you for real. You take the vase from his fingers and place it on your dining table, appreciating the delicate hue of the petals. It’s a shame that you’ll have to get rid of them soon since you’re leaving in a week.

“Come on, Tooru. Time for you to show me how good your shirt-folding skills are!”

Progress in packing is slow as the two of you talk and laugh, the sound of The Good Place quietly playing on Netflix from the small TV in your room softly filling the room. Eventually, Oikawa refuses any of your help, practically ordering you to stay in your bed and leave it to him. In the familiar warmth of your comforter, you fight to stay awake as exhaustion from the morning events creeps through your body. Before long, you’re taking a last look at Oikawa’s side profile sitting on your floor next to a pile of unfolded clothes and falling asleep soon after. It takes a few minutes for him to realize that you haven’t said anything in a while, only chuckling to himself when he sees you slipped away to the dreamworld.

For the next hour or so, he folds and packs your clothes in silence. The pile dwindles and shrinks until there’s none left, though there’s still some in your closet that you’ll be wearing over the next week. You’re still asleep on your side – he can’t find it in himself to wake you, instead doing his best to climb over you and sit on the empty side of the bed without jostling you. Just as he finds a comfortable half-lying, half-sitting position against a pillow and the headboard, you unconsciously do a full 180-degree turn and snuggle closer to him. One of your legs twists around his, your arm slinging over his waist.

Oikawa’s heart almost wants to fly out of his chest. Had it really been over a little more than a year since you last slept next to him? Was this going to be the last time that he’d experience this?

Was this going to be his last chance?

He must’ve nodded off in the end. Your voice speaks to him in his subconscious, softly calling out his name. His body is curled up on the side where you were sleeping, arms stretched out as he finally wills his eyes to open. His vision is blurry and heavily veiled with sleep, needing a few blinks to register that you’re bent over with your face very close to his. He wants to be wakened like this every day, to the sound of your voice rather than an obnoxious alarm tone from his phone. With all the strength he can muster, his arm reaches out to grab one of your wrists and gingerly pulls you towards him. You giggle as you snuggle into the little space you have, his arms hugging you tightly to ensure you don’t fall over the edge.

“Five more minutes,” he pleads, nuzzling into your hair. “Or we can go back to sleep, I don’t mind…”

“Tooru, we need to eat dinner though.”

“But I have you,” he mumbles without thought, clearly saying whatever first comes to his mind.

“That doesn’t make any sense though.”

“It makes all the sense in the world, silly (y/n)…come on, let’s sleep some more…”

“Even if there’s fresh omurice waiting to be eaten?”

“Mmm…did you make it?”

“Yes, I did.”

Oikawa sighs again before moving his hand from your back to rub his eyes. “Well, we can’t let your hard work go to waste then, right?”

“Not at all.”

You disentangle yourself and ignore how your body aches to lay with him again. Your hands take one of his own in your grasp, pulling him from the bed and towards the dining table where a fresh plate of omurice awaits them. Oikawa doesn’t forget his manners, pulling out a chair and indicating for you to sit in it. Like a true gentleman, he’s cognizant of how he pushes the chair back in to meet your sitting position, ensuring that you’re comfortable before moving to his own seat. The two of you say your thanks quickly before digging in.

Dinner is a quiet ordeal besides the occasional laughter. He tries to play footsies with you underneath the table, having full advantage with his longer legs. You threaten to flick rice at him if he keeps at it, but as time passes by, it’s clear your words hold no weight. Light banter continues when you bring the plates to the sink, refusing any offers of help from him. He settles for having an arm around your shoulders, leaning some of his body weight onto you. His eyes watch you with love and fascination as he berates himself for not figuring it out earlier. Things would have been different, and life would have been much better.

“I don’t want you to leave,” he murmurs, tone solemn and heavy as you begin to dry off the dishes.

“I know. But I’ll be back in a few years, you know?”

“A few years sounds like forever though.”

“It’ll be over before you know it, Tooru.”

“I know, but…”

“But what?”

He’s still searching for words when you’ve put the last plate in the drying rack, folding the towel neatly on the counter. You turn to face him directly, causing his arm to slide off your shoulders. He delicately grasps your hands with his and plays with your fingers, eyes focused on them and unable to meet your own. Iwaizumi’s warning voice blares through his head – why, why did he always have to be so selfish when it comes to you? Why did he always give in?

“Tooru, what—”

“I love you, (y/n).”

He’s gone and done it now. His eyes are ablaze with passion as they attempt to convey the depth of his feelings, boring straight into your own shocked gaze. He means it more than anything right now. You have to understand that he’s serious, that he doesn’t mean this in a platonic sense. Without a doubt, he would do anything for you. Could you see that in him?

He begins to panic when you slowly detach your hands, your expression hardening before you turn to occupy yourself with something else. You search for something before heading towards your living room and start packing the decorations into a cardboard box that’s cradled against your hip.

“(Y/n), please—”

“You don’t mean it,” you bite out and somewhat harshly smack a book into the box. “You’re only saying it because—”

“I’m not saying it just because you’re leaving, I swear,” he vows, following you as you pack away more things. “Just look at me—”

“How could you?!” You say accusingly, slamming your box onto the floor and whipping around to look at him. Oikawa isn’t entirely surprised by the tears streaming down your face, yet his heart still breaks at the sight.

“(Y/n), I—”

“What were you expecting?” You ask hoarsely, throat choked with tears. “Did you expect me to just accept it and run into your arms?! We’re going to be on opposite sides of the world for at least four years, and you wanted to start something with me a week before I leave?”

“I can’t lose you!” Oikawa cries out. He watches you collapse into your couch, head buried in your hands to control your sobs. He follows and sits as close as possible in front of you on the floor, reaching up to remove your hands from your face. “I can’t lose you more than I already have,” he whispers dismally, thumbs wiping tears from your cheeks. Out of fatigue, he places his cheek on your knees, eyes closing as you lay your hand on top of his head.

“Tooru, you—”

“I’ve been in love with you for years,” he interrupts, striving to get you to see how much this is for him. “I never knew what it was until recently, but you have to know by now that I would do anything for you. You can call me up at 4 in the morning, ask me for my umbrella even when I’m 20 minutes away. You could even ask me to drop volleyball, and I’d do it. Just to make you happy.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” you depressingly chastise as your fingers give in and demurely run through his hair. “I would never ask you to give up volleyball, and even if I did, you’d resent me til the day we die. Hell, you’d resent me in your grave for all I know.”

“You’d still be my everything.”

At his words, you choke out another sob. This had been everything you were dreaming of, except Oikawa’s timing was just so off. You would have to spend the first four years of your relationship without him, and long distance wouldn’t be easy. Even though he would do everything to make it work, you’d worry about burdening him when he has so much he wants to live for. Wouldn’t it affect his playing? His studies? Would he eventually get tired of waiting for you and leave?

“Do you know what you’re getting yourself into?” You sniffle.

“The chance of a lifetime, that’s what I’m getting into,” he quickly replies. He turns to rest his chin where his cheek originally on, facing you with eyes of zero hesitation. His expression softens when he senses the doubt in your face and reaches up to remove your hands from his hair, grasping them softly and placing them on your thighs. “I’ve already wasted years not being with you, and I don’t intend to lose another second. So please, please give me this chance.”

Your head is dizzy with all this information. You need time, you need clarity. You need to think this out before diving in, no matter how much you want to comply right now.

“Let me think about it, ok?” You weakly propose. “This has happened all so fast and I just need some time to think it over. This is really big for us, and I just wanna make sure we’re doing the right thing.”

“I’ll wait forever if I have to,” he agrees, then ghosting his lips over your knuckles.

“You can’t see me until we’re at the airport though,” you add in, causing him to whine in objection. “I’ll give you my answer then. It’s just a week.”

“Can I still call you?”

“Of course, you big wuss,” you tease.

“Hey, I just confessed my feelings here, cut me some slack!” He cries, pouting afterwards. You somehow still have the energy to giggle at his antics, happy that some things never change.

“You need to leave soon, Tooru.”

“No,” he objects and wraps his arms around your legs. “I don’t wanna.”

“Tooru—”

“Only if you kiss me before I leave.”

You let out a sigh, yet still smiling. “Deal.”

He removes himself and gets out of the way, stretching as he stands when you push yourself off the couch. Even for the short distance from the living room to the door, Oikawa insists on holding your hand. He grabs every second he can with you, still holding on when he’s slipping his shoes on.

“I’m waiting for my kiss,” he says with a lilt in his voice. His eyes are shining and expectant, causing you to roll your own playfully. For the first time in 21 years, you’ll be kissing Oikawa with no feelings hidden, no motives unsaid.

He meets you halfway, softly cradling your cheek with his free hand. His lips against yours bring a wave of nostalgia – god, how you both missed this, the feeling of being able to lose yourself in another person. How you both missed forming that bubble again where nothing mattered but the two of you being there together. You can’t help but think about how much you’re going to miss this in America, how it’ll be months, years, before you can ever fall into Oikawa’s arms again.

Oikawa wants nothing more than to toe his shoes off and have you jump into his arms. He wants nothing more than to carry you to your room and show exactly how much he loves you, but it’s not in your wishes. Don’t be selfish, he reminds himself. You asked for time and space to think about your future with him – if he wants to make this work, thinking of solely his own desires needs to stop here. He must prove to you that it’ll be worth it, that there’s no reason to lose any more time than you’ve already lost.

“I’m sorry I made you wait,” he apologizes quietly.

“It’s okay. But consider this week as punishment, if you’d like.”

He pouts. “I really can’t come see you?”

You give a small grin, a pointer finger moving to tap his nose. “Nope.”

With that, he sighs begins to walk out the door, but not before stealing another peck. The action only makes you laugh and playfully push him over the door threshold, waving as he walks backwards with a pout. You don’t close the door until he’s turned the corner, nearly collapsing against it once the deadbolt is locked in place. Everything hits you all at once again, leaving you reeling and almost gasping for air. Your heart won’t cease its rapid pace, though it seems to come to a full halt when your phone chimes with a text message from him.

“Good night, (y/n). I love you.”

Yes, it’s amazing how lucky you are.

-

Without fail, Oikawa texts and calls you every day. He never fails to remind you that he loves you. Twice, he orders delivery to your door because he knows you need to pack your kitchen. A man who buys you food as a surprise and seems to always know what you’re in the mood for? It’s as if the universe is telling you to hurry up and marry this guy.

And Oikawa, trying to be the responsible person that he is, doesn’t see you until they’re sending you off at the airport. Your parents had offered to pick him and Iwaizumi up from his place, especially since it was a little early in the morning. A taxi drops you and your suitcases off at the gate. You hadn’t spotted them when you got in and made a move to go ahead and check your bags in. After you had finished dropping them off, you had turned around to wait outside of the check-in area and spotted the four of them chatting while waiting for you. Even with it being so early in the morning, you can’t help but break out into a smile at seeing them, speeding up your pace as much as you can with the carry-on suitcase lugging behind you.

“Thank you, guys, for coming all this way,” you express your gratitude while embracing Iwaizumi and Oikawa.

“What kind of shitty friends would we be if we didn’t?” Iwaizumi asks as you move to hug your parents. Your mother keeps an arm around you at the end, already fighting her tears.

“Mom…”

“Do you have everything you need?” She interjects, voice choking up. “Phone? Wallet? Passport? Boarding pass? New SIM card? Emergency cash?”

“They’re all here,” you say, pointing to the locations of each item. “I’m gonna be okay, mom.”

“Don’t hesitate to call us if you need anything, ok?” Your father reminds you. “We’re only a call or text away.”

“I know. I’ll try to make it home on the holidays or something, but if not, I’ll be back in a few years at least.”

“What if you end up meeting someone and want to stay in America with them?” Your mother sniffles, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.

“Well,” you hesitate, casting a quick look towards Oikawa. When his gaze meets yours, you begin to feel more confident about the answer that you settled on yesterday. You know he’s anxious to find out what you’ve decided. “I’m sure that’s not going to happen. Can I have a minute with Tooru please? Alone?”

Your mother’s eyes widen in realization before she’s quick to shoo off your father and Iwaizumi. Once they’re out of earshot, Oikawa looks at you expectantly.

“Do I get my answer today?” He inquires, removing his hand from his jacket pocket to hold one of yours. You take the initiative to interlace your fingers with his, giving a tight squeeze.

“Mmm,” you hum while fishing out your phone with your free hand. Oikawa watches anxiously as you tap and scroll through something, breath baited as your eyes seem to light up at finding what you need. You turn the screen to him and ask, “Does that answer your question?”

At first, he’s confused. Oikawa sees a contact page open and automatically notices it’s his number. It’s not until his vision drifts back to the top of the page where his name usually was. In the past, it had been “crappykawa” with a smiling emoji, but to his delight, it now reads “the boyfriend­TM”.

His excitement prompts him to lift you from the waist and spin you around in a few circles. You shriek and shake with laughter as your arms instinctively wrap around his neck to hold on, your eyes closed tightly until he puts you down. Even then, he doesn’t detach himself from you and leans down to kiss you sweetly, never wanting to let up. It doesn’t matter that you’re leaving him in the next few minutes – he’d rather have this than nothing at all.

Minutes later and after more teary goodbyes, you walk through the line towards security. The four of them watch as you exchange pleasantries and answer questions by the guard checking your boarding pass and passport. Once you’ve been cleared, you turn around once more to give a final wave, before disappearing behind the gray walls. After you pass security and find somewhere to eat a quick breakfast, you check your phone. There’s a Snapchat from Oikawa that you immediately move to open. It’s a selfie taken at an angle where his phone would’ve been in his lap. He has his characteristic pout on his face and the caption reads, “i already miss you, my love.”

And at that moment, you know, you can feel it with every ounce of your being, that everything is going to be okay.

-

(epilogue)

Months after you moved to California, Oikawa received his invite to play for a professional volleyball team in Argentina. He consulted his closest friend, you, his coaches, and they all agreed on one thing: he’d be stupid to turn it down.

It wasn’t the Japan national team, but it was definitely an opportunity of a lifetime. He greatly admired the national Argentine team as a child, and that admiration never wavered. On the plus side, it would make the long-distance relationship easier with you, as the time difference would be cut significantly.

The relationship experienced its ups and downs. Some main recurring themes of contention involved his tendency to overwork himself and your frequent late nights in the lab, as well as your disregard for your physical and mental health during times of high stress. They were issues born out of love and care, and they were worked on to help each other improve. You’d always livestream his volleyball matches and he would attempt to stay up with you on a video call if you were in the lab or up late studying, reminding you to drink water and eat something nutritious.

Oikawa found time to visit you during rare extended breaks in the off-season. He’d always make sure that you two would video call Iwaizumi together, wearing a shit-eating grin when Iwaizumi would pick up the call and roll his eyes. In return, you saved up and visited him in Argentina, though only able to stay up to a week at most. The new life was a little difficult and strange, but he made it work. He loved his teammates, he loved you, he loved volleyball, and he couldn’t ask for more.

You finished your doctorate in four years, just as you had predicted. You already had a job lined up before graduation at an academic hospital in Tokyo, allowing you to practice pharmacy and continue research. Not only that, Iwaizumi also earned a position in the top volleyball team in Japan, leaving Oikawa to be ecstatic. His personal dream from so many years ago was finally coming together – the three of you together in the same city, and him and Iwaizumi on the same superior team, even if it meant playing with Kageyama Tobio and Ushijima Wakatoshi. But he’d get used to it eventually.  

When you first returned to Tokyo, you were happy to see that not much had changed. Oikawa had another couple of years in Argentina before he would return to Japan and join Iwaizumi on the team. A few weeks in, you were already enjoying your job immensely – the only thing missing was your boyfriend.

A year has passed, and you are currently sitting at home in front of the TV with a mug in your hands. You’re dressed down in your comfiest sweatpants and Tooru’s jersey from university days. A white gold chain holding a simple silver ring hangs daintily around your neck as a token and symbol of a promise. You check your phone and frown a little – Tooru hadn’t texted or called you all day, though he did mention he would be busy with preparing for an upcoming practice match. You’re now worried that Tooru’s overworking himself again, holding the device now to send a quick text reminder to take breaks and stretch afterwards.

You toss your phone to the side and try to focus on the humorous game show, picking up on how ridiculous some of the antics were. American game shows had nothing on the ones here in Japan.

Someone rings your doorbell. At first, you think it’s the postman dropping off a package you had been expecting and make no move towards the door. But the doorbell is rung once again, leaving you to hesitantly approach the entrance. You peek through the spyhole and spot a young man outside, hat slipped on backwards, glasses perched on his nose, and hands stuffed into his pants pockets. He’s looking away from you and has suitcases around him, but you can recognize that side profile from anywhere. Could it be?

You fumble with the lock and throw open the door as your heart threatens to beat out of its chest. The young man finally looks up at you and you gasp as tears spring forward to your eyes.

Oikawa Tooru is standing right in front of you with the most beautiful smile on his face that you have ever seen.

He’s ready to catch you when you squeal and run into his arms, dissolving into laughter as you blubber into his neck and attempt to make sense of what’s happening. Tooru spins you around a few times for good measure, relishing in the comfort of your body against his. It had been too long since he last held you, and luckily, he’d never have to wait that long ever again.

His invite came as a phone call not too long ago, personally from the coach of the team that Iwaizumi had joined. They were willing to wait for him if he wanted another year in Argentina as he had originally planned, but Tooru decided that it was time to come back. He had buzzed with excitement as he planned out his great return, wanting so badly to surprise you. It’d go down in the book as one of the best reveals of a major life change for the two of you, and he wanted it to be perfect.

“How—what—when—I have so many questions!” You stammer, hands reaching for his face to make sure that this is real. Tooru leans into your palm, eyes catching the glisten of the promise ring that he had gifted you two years ago. He was a little worried that it wouldn’t be noticeable enough (“I need people out there to understand that you’re spoken for!” “What are you, a prince of the medieval days?”), but he did appreciate how beautiful it looked when you wore it as such. The happiness he feels right now is more than he could have ever imagined, especially now when he can finally look into your eyes and say the words that he’s been yearning to speak for years to you —

”I’m home, (y/n).”

-

fin.

[crazyclownthanos]

A lifetime with you

A Zora x Nebra one-shot.

Warnings: none

The night air was ever so thick, however the chill in the air felt somehow different, was his emotions taking over him? Hope the fuck not. Jumping from rooftop to rooftop he was returning from a 3 day mission on some rescue revival plan, whatever, he didn’t quite understand but heck his father would slap him silly if he were to refuse a mission, but what excited him most was seeing his wife.

Reaching the window sill to their bedroom. Zora could already tell that this was their bedroom window because it was the only window in the palace that was unlocked.

Opening the window he crouched down, one hand on the window sill and another hand on the top of the window holding it up, his blue hues graced over the sleeping Silva beauty sleeping on her back with the sheets covering her entire body but her head not facing the moonlight.

He rolled his eyes to the side a little as he heard his heart thumping and his cheeks flushing Sakura pink

“How the wonders of love can do to someone...what shit hole.” His mind spoke.

Leaping forward he didn’t notice that his foot was a second behind leading to the window clashing with the ring on the back of his boot causing him to make a yelping sound, causing him ot face plant on the stone cold floor.

Lifting up his head to use his hand to swipe over his mouth, hoping that Nebra wouldn’t have woken up.

Hearing a slight groan from Nebra, Zora laid out an arm before leaning his head on the arm preventing him coming into contact with the cold floor. He perked an eye up and noticed Nebra’s hands through the blanket holding her stomach, without noticing a small smile growing on his face.

“Almost six months huh....” he whispered underneath his breath. another 3 to 4 months before their baby is brought into the world. The bridge between Peasants and Royals, this feat their taking feels way too unreal to be true.

Getting back on his feet he walked over, trying not to make any sudden noises yet slipping on the tiles. Walking to her side he threw the blanket off her, as soon as he did that Nebra wrapped her arms around her pregnant belly, still asleep. A pin drop. No words can describe how he’s feeling but a pin dropping. She’s protecting their baby. Something triggered inside him and thus, tears spilled down his cheeks, not sad tears but happy tears.

Zora’s tears had dropped down to Nebra’s cheek causing her to flutter one eye, those enchanting eyes of her viewing her boyfriend crying right in front of her as if he was attending her funeral.

“Hi cutie.” Jolting a hand back from the sudden raspy voice of a tired Nebra Silva.

She lifted her right hand up wanting to play with his cheek. Lifting down to his knees, Nebra played and pinch with his cheeks. Zora couldn’t hold back his small laughter, happy tears still spilling down, giggles filled the room as Nebra continued to play with his cheeks. Taking her hand back there was tears on her hand, she starred at the softly before she kissed her hand lightly.

Feeling his heart tingle he moved his head forward to Nebra’s until he reached nose length, Nebra didn’t hesitate to move back but only moved a smudge closer.

“can I have kiss?”

“If you say the magic word” she said with a high laugh in her voice.

Thinking with every word on the top of his head.

“Please?” he pulled a slight smirk hoping to be right, not seeing any signs of rejection he tried to pull in but as Nebra placed a finger on his lips disappointment slapped him.

“Nope! You didn’t say that correctly.” She giggled to him in a low voice.

Zora moved his eyes to the chandelier above them and whispered to her. “Pwease.”

Back when they were told to perform Royal duties they visited an orphanage where this one kid would always ask for anything is he would use the word “pwease.” And whenever that would happen Zora would crack up laughing.

A small laugh came from her as she walked her fingers up his back to his nape. Wrapping her arms she pulled him in for a long passionate kiss. Never he had been so in love, sure he had his one night stands with other people but god, if he were to tell himself 2 years ago that he would of been in a full course relationship with a Royal he would of laughed his ass off, but now it all feels like a dream up to this moment.

Releasing him from her grip. He looked down on her to see her wearing his green shirt that Solid gave him for Christmas, he said he wouldn’t wear this shirt even if he was caught dead in it but if he were not to be caught he might use it as a night shirt.

“Is that my ugly green shirt Solid gave me?” He questioned leaning his hands over to her. He tried so hard to be intimidated but all she could do is pull an unsure smirk hoping to not break into laughter.

“What’s with the smirk, princess?”

“You being intimidating of course, I use to think you’re intimidating but looking at you now, Mr Big Boy~ I’m less sure these days.” When she called him “Mr Big Boy” her tone sounded more seductive. Zora felt as steam flew out of his ears. He couldn’t respond back as he was too flustered, situations like them he would retaliate but tonight he had fallen into her hands.

Nebra slowly sat up, still cradling her stomach, she swore her stomach had grown over the past 6 days, she’d had imagine what it would be like carrying a bag of flour up her stomach. Caressing her stomach another set of hands joined hers. “Wouldn’t you believe that our bundle of joy in there.” He spoke softly and that was rare to hear Zora speak softly, he would only speak softly when he was super serious about something.

“Do you mind turning on the lamp lights, honey.” Zora did what she told and straight away she notice the light reflecting off his bracelet.

“You know what I feel like what’s missing.”

She spoke quietly, causing Zora to lift up his head

“Wedding rings.” Mid-through sentence she slid her fingers into his.

“I promise you after this we’ll get married, soon enough just promise me my princess.” He kissed her knuckles.

Leaning back he did take notice of the squinting in her eyes, Zora completely remembered what was on her mind.

“Have your trashy grandparents and father asked about your pregnancy?” He wasn’t going to hold his punches against them, Nebra’s father might of has droplets of respect for him, but you knew darn well that her grandparents resented him very well. Even almost six months after they’re still mad at him for getting their granddaughter pregnant before marriage.

“Shitty Royals and their Jack-ass traditions.” Listening to his mind. They’ve put such pressure on her, even humiliating her at their royal gatherings.

She tilted her head and felt the swelling of tears about to flood in. “They sat me down, both of my grandparents excluding my father, in their living quarters and asked me some rather sensitive topics about the future of our baby.” She squeezed his hands tighter, the memories of screams flooded back to her as if it happened 10 minutes ago.

“Take your time baby.” He came up closer and pressed his forehead against hers.

They sat in the wondering silence for a good 5 minutes. Nebra pushed his shoulders back and bolted her pink hues to his blue hues. “The questions they asked made me wanna punch all my nerves. They asked if when the baby is birthed if I would leave the royal family, I knew from Haskell’s mother that they never asked her such questions, I might be taking a big leap but I think it was because the father is peasant. Next was the amount of mana that what the child might come to possess, I told them they had to wait and see. Third question was if we were going to get married and replied after the baby is born hopefully after their 1st birthday. “

She continued on what questions, Zora felt so horrified by these, what human beings can have such ruined souls. Asking about what blood type the baby might have, the wedding, the color of the baby’s hair, if the baby would be overweight or not. Such a horrible and personal questions to ask someone, he wouldn’t be darned if they were trying to put so much stress large enough to kill their baby.

The worse one of all was when Nebra’s grandmother started to scream at her when she asked if they want to hold the baby when it’s birthed. According to Nozel she found the question ‘invalid’ and ‘stupid’ thing to ask. Nebra missed dinner due to her crying all on the ballroom floor, thank God, Noelle had walk in and make sure to feed her and make sure for her to take a bath.

Zora couldn’t have prevented the situation from so far away. But he can prevent further situations like these to happen again. “I’ve decided that I’m going to take leave earlier than expected.”

“What? Zora please don’t do this.” The desperation in her voice was sure noticeable, she felt as tears were about to finally spill.

“Quit worrying about me And let me worry about you, you’re carrying the kingdoms future not me.” He caressed her stomach one more time before tracing his finger up her arms to her neck, then her chin, up to her cheeks where he kissed her one more time. That’s when Nebra spilt her tears and so did he.

As they broke off Nebra finally whispered to him. “There’s one more thing I want more than anything, even more than our baby, A lifetime with you.” Zora smiled at the response he couldn’t agree even more.

And thus a new beginning rose for them, a memory of them starting a family together.

[venelona]

‘The World, Upside Down’ appreciation post

Good day! I talked about this fanfic a lot in the old days (well, I mostly talked about it’s kinda-sequel ‘Making a Kinder World’, but this Underfell fanfic is one of my favorite fanfics... ever. And today it’s author’s birthday, so happy birthday @last-haven​! Today I just wanna list all of the things (well, all the things I can put in the worlds beyond plain AAAAAA) I love about this fanfic chapter-by-chapter.

You haven’t read it? Then give it a try! It’s really good! Try ‘Making a Kinder World’ too, you can read it separate

❗❕SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE FANFIC + SPOILERS FOR ‘Making a Kinder World’!❕❗

and now, without further adue: 

All the things I love about 'The World, Upside Down' (little illustrations included)

(quotes from the fanfic are put into ‘this’)

Chapter 1

- Frisk wears gloves... cool gloves

- 'Well. Fuck.' probably same exact reaction I would have

- Frisk went out to climb a mountain... The irony

- ' Frisk hadn’t planned to take a break, but the hike had been thirsty work. ' ... thirsty work

- Flowey is such a sweetheart, honestly (i mean, it's Underfell, but still). ' I-if this world is kill or be killed, t-then I would just rather be killed. ' My sweet booooy

- (not)Local adult offers candy to a small helpless literal flower-child in the dark-ass cave

- ' ...only if their mother had gone through a goth inspired mid-life crisis and then hadn’t slept in a month. ' Frisk roasts Toriel after Toriel nearly roasts them

- First thing Chara says is a Wizard of Oz reference

- ' My mother raised me right. ' Also she happens to be you

- I really like the concept of this story. Frisk, who went through Underground, suddenly gets into the Underfell one? Damn. Well, having a good concept is nothing if you can't bring it to life right, and this story does wonderful job, like, maaan it's good.

- Flowey just can't leave Frisk to go through Ruins alone, my sweet boooy

- Thing that set up in here come back even in the last chapter, from the certain encounter to even a certain asshole

---

Chapter 2

- ' Frisk considered the floor with a healthier level of respect. '

- Froggit as confused to complement Frisk as I was confused in game what to write for Mettaton in his 'essay'

- Even the 'healing item' is set up, dang

- Have I said that Frisk is really cool and badass in this fic? Cuz they are

- ' It was odd, seeing that old familiar sight in this upside-down world... ' roll credits

- Toriel's story with human children is heartbreaking. In 'Making a Kinder World' there's even more of it but even in TWUD it's very sad

- And Frisk tells her that they read her diary?? Mad lad

- Despite anything Tori still cares, she isn't just some mad old lady

- Frisk's and Flowey's relationship is precious

Chapter 3

- Skelebros. I love them.

- ' The monster was, but more importantly, was also not Sans '

- ' Oh, he can’t be doing what I think he’s doing. He cannot be flirting back. This world really is bizarre. ' - one of my favourite lines in the whole fic

- The whole meeting with Sans. I said it before but I love it

(i kinda drew this one before but it’s worse than i remember)

- The mix of flirting and suspicion and tension and aaaaaa

- ' Well.

            Fuck. '

- Sans tell them to run HE TELLS THEM TO RUN

- the Infernal Papyrus.

- Frisk just rips into him, it's glorious

- ' "Look! A rock!”

Half to their surprise, he actually turned around and looked. ' I AM DEAD THIS IS SO PAPYRUS

- Mines

- Mines go boom boom

- ' “Don’t know what you’re so worried about,” Frisk hissed back as their fight menu options appeared before them. “You’re a tiny target—he’ll probably miss you mostly.” '

- ' Jokes, flirting, none of these seemed to be any safer than trying to tango with a honey badger. '

-  ' “I feel no shame!” ' Frisk yells and runs away

- Papyrus heals them, awww...

- and then PUNCHES RIGHT INTO THE FACE OMFG PAPYRUS

- It told later but In this whole story PAPYRUS IS ONLY 19 and that explains a lot

- but yes the whole Papyrus spare thing is awesome

Chapter 4

- Maybe a bit early to mention that one but i LOVE the world building - its expanded very greatly in the 'Making a Kinder World', but even in TWUD you can just FEEL it - feel the world. One of my favourite Underfell worlds to this day and I keep stealing being inspired for many headcanons

- Frisk is an accomplished flirt

- ' “Ugh, I’d hate to think that all this time I could have gotten out of so much trouble by flirting." ' (c) Flowey the eight year old child and god knows how old flower

- ' Judgey McJudgerson '

- Despite being an epitome of sarcasm Frisk is very caring, and its consistent throughout the story

- Great characters all around - rich, relatable and believable and impossible not to love

- Also this fanfic was first that introduced me to non-binary people. I was confused by some parts (like, i had no idea what a binder is and google did not tell me anything) but I expanded my knowledge so yaaay

- Did I mention I like Frisk's sarcasm and sense of humour? Cuz i am loving it

- Frisk and Sans's meeting before Waterfall. It may be my wild shipping self that loves all the scenes of these two but they are really great and very enjoyable

- ‘ “You saved my brother?”

            “Well, I wasn’t going to let him fall off a cliff, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

            Sans scoffed. “I would have.”

            “Sans!" ‘

- ‘ “It wouldn’t have killed him. He’s too stubborn to let a little fall kill him.” ‘ - again, very Fell Paps characteristic

- Sans's coat keeps filling up with flower petals, my heaaaart

- Quoting Flowey: 'the flirting—good god, the flirting!'

- ' Flowey made a sound like he was sighing through his nose, which was quite the trick since he didn’t even have a nose. '

-        ' “It’s a trap,” Flowey hissed.

            Frisk glanced back at him with a frown and a raised eyebrow. “Uh, yeah, I can see that.”

            Flowey gaped. “Really?”

            I should probably feel insulted by that. '

- ' I have never thought of a child needing Jesus before, but damned if I don’t now. '

- I like the idea that Flowey can feel fear and hope because those aren't technically emotions

- Papyrus helps Flowey, awww, I always loved that moment

- And Papyrus to the rescue!! Tho, Frisk, you gotta rethink some things when even the skeleton swims better than you

- I love the fact that Papyrus helped Frisk with CPR by not actually doing it right but by just finishing them off

- Papyrus's logic

- The fact that in this whole story PAPYRUS IS ACTUALLY 19 YEARS OLD

- ' *You feel demoralized. What a failure you are. ' Chara spoke not to Frisk but directly to me

- ' “I’m going to give you my number. Call me if you have an emergency. I won’t come to save you” '

- That big-ass hint that something weird had happened to Frisk's hand

- Sans putting his coat on Frisk. Gets me every time. My shipping soul melts.

Chapter 6

- Chara's sass

- ' "Even if you are an unforgivable jerk and your pet’s an idiot, I can’t thank you enough." '

- ' Moving through the dark rooms with light up mushrooms, glowing crystals, and more waterfalls, they encountered a few monsters along the way, including an Aaron who they scared off by making spooky noises at him. '

- Monster Kid and his sincere apology

- ' The problem was, one, it sure didn’t seem to be slowing her down, and two, they had no idea if she was perhaps faster than their Undyne.

            That said, she sure was about as pissed as their Undyne was. '

- THE LASER EYE

*You are both easily impressed and distracted.

- Frisk picking up the phone call mid fight. I know that happened in the game but EVERYONE'S REACTIONS

- ' Leave it to Undyne to accidently compliment her own training regime; '

- Frisk the slay dog wanna catch Undyne monologuing

- ' "I’d trust that skeleton as far as I can throw him.” ' THIS and the conversation that proceeds

- The conversation about Paps actually warms my heart

Chapter 7

- ' "You flaunt your abilities, your charms, your good hair-" '

- Chara is actually surprised that Frisk knows something they don't about Flowey

- M e t t a t o n. I love him.

- The interview

- It's not Tsunderplane, it's YANDERPLANE

- ' Mettaton made finger guns at her. “Smile for the camera, bitch.” '

- Frisk liting up Sans's cigarette

- How Sans and Frisk bicker like children over who's older and Frisk shoots him with ' “That’s okay. I always did have a thing for older men.” '

- ' “Feh. I’d rather have an incurable disease than a friend like her, but whatever.”'

- Sans tossing Frisk a pack of cigarettes. That scene always stuck in my mind for some reason

Chapter 8

- ' Turns out, he at least thought it was ‘totally homo’. '

- The 'moving in' thing was established even back there, and its still one of my favourite things ever

- How dramatic guards are

- ' Then they looked down the line and realized they had ten more to go. Great.

            *Could be worse.

            *Could be eleven more to go.

            You know, buddy, that’s the most optimistic thing I’ve probably heard out of you yet. '

- Frisk may be badass but they still can be embarrassed

- Mettaton

- Oh, did i say Mettaton already? I'm sorry, I just love him (got nothing against him but never really cared much for him either), it's the best written Mettaton I've ever seen and I adore every time he shows up

- Frisk, like... actually got a psychological trauma, and its quite sad

- The scene with the Sans and the dogs on the porch feels very ominous for me

- Mettaton warn Frisk to run, MY HEART

Chapter 9

- Mettaton and Frisk just casually chat

- ' "She only tried to kill me twice, which put her head and shoulders above some people I knew.” ' Underfell be Underfell

- '        “Well, for one, you’re not dead.”

            Well. They hadn’t expected that answer. “…Thanks?” '

- ... I love Mettaton. What he says to Frisk about taking him with them warms my heart

- The image of mangled Mettaton EX is fried into my mind forever. No, really - every time I think about Underfell Mettaton this image comes to my mind, like... damn. Nightmare fuel.

- Mettaton being in agony and forced to fight Frisk while he just yells for them to run- MY HEAAART PLEASE STOP IT

- Frisk kept yellow soul option on their phone. And they use it via fingergun

- ' “Flowey will be pissed if he finds out that I could do that this entire time and didn’t do it only to make sure I didn’t hurt anyone.” ' and after that it flashes to Flowey doing exactly that LMAO

- Also yeah, the periodical flashing to other characters watching Frisk on TV

-  ' “HAH!” they shouted eloquently. “Missed!” ' ... did i mention that I really like the characterisation of Frisk? Cuz I do. Frisk is one charismatic bitch <3

- Frisk aint immune to anger

- Metta fights back!! Man I just love everything about this fight - its heartwrenhing AND funny, and sometimes it feels straight from an anime. I love it to bits.

- Napsta's call. Man... talk about heart wrentching. I think it's taken from a comic bc I saw the said comic ages ago, but man it fits so well and hits right into the kokoro

- The fact that Napsta doesn't know what they're actually doing... Like, the whole Napstablook and Mettaton storyline that we get in the Making a Kinder World, i really love it, some of my favourite chapters because DAMN

- Chara hurrying Frisk to help Mettaton, like, really, they care too and it warms my heart

- And despite Alphys' manipulation bullshit he still doesn't attack Frisk AND CHOOSES TO OFF HIMSELF JESUS CHRIST I FORGOT HOW MUCH I ACTUALLY LOVE HIM MA BOY NOOOOO

- Papyrus to the rescue!!

- ' Oh my god. The edge lord cutie pie has a crush on Mettaton. Oh, god, that’s adorable. Did my Papyrus have a crush on Mettaton? ' Frisk freaking out over a ship XD this fanfic actually made me if not like Papyton then at least think it's alright. Not like i hated it before that, I just didn't see any reason for it whatsoever so i was neutral towards it with leaning on more negative side, but not anymore. Besides, all Papyton in this and MAKW is adorable indeed

- Alphys actually cares for Mettaton and for everybody else

- Frisk doesn't abandon Mettaton and goes back with Alphys

- Endogeny. What a good doggo. And the way it smack its face hole while trying to eat lmao

- Alphys getting sad over not getting a raise when amalgametes started to melt jfc Alphys

- The whole conversation with Alphys about hope

- ' “Oh, and Alphys? While you’re fixing up Mettaton, you might want to rethink his design. Maybe a little less Silent Hill and a little more… eh, Mew Mew Kissy Cutie.” '

- Sans got sight problems... probably shouldn't be surprised after what happened to one of his eyes

Chapter 10

- ' Oh well. Asgore was just going to have to put up with their smelly ass for a while. '

- Asriel and Chara don't know everything - Az (well, Flowey) didn't know how he came to be a flower or why he could reset, and Chara didn't know Asriel died. You would expect them to know those things, but the fact that they don't makes sense

- Chara freaking out about Flowey cuz they don't know who he really is, and angry when they find out that Frisk didn't tell them this entire time

- Asriel started to like Chara after they showed him their scary face, lmao he is really a kid

- The story of the Frisk that was before the current Frisk arrived

- ' Eh, maybe they’re not like you. That kid, they’re probably just some half-assed memory from a book I read once. Nah, reality is better. You’re better.” ' MY HEART-

- The way Sans and Frisk flirt

- Foreshadowing of Frisk's past

- The story how Sans and Paps fell out. And, speaking about it, the chapters where they kinda 'reconsile' in MAKW

- ' Caught by a whim, they leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his brow. He flinched away, but his stare showed only confusion. They grinned at him. “You’re a good bag of bones, Sans. Thanks for everything.” ' cmon, my shipping self cannot not love this moment, even if i know what happens after this conversation next time they meet and it pangs my heart

Chapter 11

- Instead of coffin room it's... good ol' fashioned prison. Made even sadden by the fact that it used to be a food bank

- The bloodied patch of dead flowers in Asgore's garden in place where previous Frisk died and did not come back. Another picture that engraved into my mind

- The button-smashing foreshadowing. Literally.

- Frisk's shock and conflicted desire to reset when Asgore strikes Flowey. Heartbreaking.

- Frisk snapping and snapping out of snapping. Frisk's 'backstory' is actually very sad because they are genially regretting what they did

- Frisk mentally apologizing to their family for their rage episode mY hEaRt

- That may sound weird but I appreciate Chara freaking out on the background and stuff. Like... I just appreciate Chara

- Frisk healing Flowey with a Dream! Like, that item that you have after the Asriel fight and can still have it in your inventory! I really like that it's here and that Frisk saved it after all those years, that's a really cool detail

- Sparing Asgore sceeeneeeee!

- Final Boss and his motivation - from just not wanting monsters to come out yet to a promise he made to his only semi-friend

- ' “But it won’t be today. But,” he said, lifting his hand, “don’t worry, babe. I’ll look after you. I promise, me and you? We’ll have nothing but time.” ' 6w6 hehe

- Sans having a power rush cuz he ain't no mastermind but just a dude who went from, like, 2% right to a 100

- I love the fact that Flowey sticks to Frisk no matter the danger. Like, they made it through the underground together, faced his past, faced his father and now they are about to face someone with the God-like power. Ooh oh.

- Sans actually doesn't want to harm Frisk and mY hEaRt

- Sans got a menu! And ofc he would be looking at it if he never had one before

- Hugging

- Frisk destroying his FIGHT button!!! Like a badass!

- Despite the battle I like how Sans and Frisk just continue to casually banter

- ' This time, Sans’ laziness really backfired on him. ' Oh my God, Sans is just... Sans

- Sans actually getting bitter at Frisk cuz he thinks they think of him as a big fuck up

- ' "...Don’t you get it—you’re the only good thing that’s ever came to this world!” ' AAAAHHHH the fact that he is desperate to keep the only good person he'd met

- Sans biting Frisk in a last ditch attempt to stop them even if he knows they're right. And realization and he is CRYING

- Sans is actually jealous of other world's Sans

- Man, those two battles are just a rollercoaster

Chapter 12

- Final chapter is 57 Word pages long

- Final chapter is 57 Word pages long despite the fact that all the fighting took place in the previous chapter

- ' He grunted, “I can’t tell if you’re fucking with me or not.”

            Frisk gave him a flat look. “Sans, after everything that happened today, I think you can do me a solid and trust me.” '

- The talk with souls

- Sans freaking out for a second when Frisk draws their soul out

- ' “The fuck?” Sans finally asked, sitting back. To their amusement, he didn’t seem particularly disturbed to see their kingdom’s dead prince revived from the plant he’d tried to murder less than five minutes ago. Just mostly confused. '

- ' Please don’t tell me that his son yelling at him is enough to convince him that this is really Asriel. What a bizarre way to recognize someone, Frisk thought, bemused. ' That's Underfell for ya

- ' “Years of strife and misery because of one damn law, and in the end, all it took was a kid to turn it over. My life feels like a joke.” ' poor Sans

- The fact that Sans tries to hide from Toriel not only for that moment but for some time afterwards lmao

- Asriel protecting Frisk and wanting to stay with them because ofc why wouldn't he

Like... ' “As far as I’m concerned, Frisk is my family now." ' MY HEART-

- All of the Sans quotes from the goat-family-kinda-reunion scene because while Frisk knows what's going on he is completely out of the loop

- ' “Don’t yell at Frisk. And don’t bother yelling at him either,” he huffed, jerking his chin in his father’s direction. “You don’t have any right to, you hypocrite. You ended up just like him. You believed in ‘kill or be killed’ too in the end. So just shut up.” ' HELL YEAH ASRIEL TELL HER-

- Souls saying bye to Toriel because she was their mom, aaaaaaAAAAAAA

- Asriel and Chara are alive! Together! Kinda! As a fusion! But ye i think it's really cool. I also think it's cool that the can morph into different body, tho they realise it years later

- The awkward image of Frisk and Asriel hugging while Sans is just standing there and Asgore and Toriel just stare at them

- ' So, you’re the little flower that kept showing up every now and then.” He paused and beamed down at Asriel. Without warning, he reached down and slapped Asriel across the back, nearly knocking the kid down. “Good for you! I knew you’d find some way to be useful, and look! Now you have arms, legs, and everything! A real improvement, I’d say.” ' My god Papyrus I love you

-  ' Undyne pressed a hand to one of her ears. “I knew I felt weird magic. My ear drums even popped when you did that.”

            “My ears popped, and I don’t even have any,” Papyrus added. ' My God Papyrus did i say i love you already

- Papyrus immideatly bitching on the surface lmao

- Frisk offering their hand for Sans so they can go to the surface together but he is refusing because he is still desperate for them to stay- MY HEART MY HEAAAAART

- Frisk forgetting for a second that Chara left them. I like that detail.

- Gaster's plan. Perfect in theory but oh so cruel for Frisk

- The fact that i can describe this fic as 'undertale ctrl c ctrl v underfell'

- Frisk thinking they are home and everything behind them is absolutely HEARTBREAKING

- Their last conversation with Paps...

- Brothers actively rescuing Frisk while totally calm Gaster is just 'well, at least Sans is making use of the blasters'

- Skelebros to the rescue!!

- Papyrus offering Frisk his gloves without a second thought

- PROPOSAL. PRO PO SAL! This is still, like, my favourite thing in the... world. Accidental proposal. And the fact that Papyrus knows it but doesn't say anything to the two of them. Perfect.

- But also, Sans offering Frisk to stay with them is just sweet. And Papyrus being like 'sTaYiNg wItH yOu mAyBe'

- ' “Wait, one thing. Are… are you guys sure it’s okay if I stay with you? If I’m any trouble, I could-”

            “You already accepted my brother’s proposal,” Papyrus said bluntly, waving them off. “You can’t back out now.” ' AND FRISK JUST LAUGHS HIS 'ODD WORDING' OFF MY GOD i just. I love this.

- Poor Sans, so out of the loop. He didn't know anything, from Flowey being the dead prince to just his brother having a crush

- I like how at this point Papyrus is just 'OH IF WE ALL LIVING TOGETHER SURE LETS HAVE ASRIEL TOO'

- Papyrus being appointed as Asriel's guard! I really like it and their relationship in general, especially in the future

- Papyrus shaking Sans out if happiness

- ' “Congrats, Papyrus,” Undyne shouted, slapping him on the back—Frisk wondered if this was where he got his strange need to slap people on the back. '

- ' Courage, loyalty, and hope. Not compassion, hope, and love—the monsters of this world really were different than their own. ' This, this right here is one of my favorite Underfell headcanons. dont mind me stealing it

- The conversation Sans and Frisk have. You know, that one. It's a true heart-to-heart, i love it

- Frisk casually leaning onto Sans despite the epic betreyal and fighting, like, a few hours ago

- Sans's reaction to hearing about satellites and being bamboozled about the whole humans-went-to-space thing

- ' “Can… can I ask you a question? A-a personal one?”

            He considered it. “This better not be any soul baring, mutual bonding shit. I’ve had enough of that.” '

- ' Once he got it to catch, they both leaned in and lit their cigarettes. Together, they took a long drag on their cigarettes and went back to staring at the sky. “Well, so much for no soul baring bonding moments.” '

-  '“What? Of course, I cried. I was eight and my life was a mess." ' big mood

- Sans being sure Frisk doesn't cry but later in the conversation they actually do and his panic... just .. precious

- Sans low-key being jealous of the previous Sans and being protective over Frisk

- And man... Undertale Sans is an actual asshole. That's how I always call him in my mind when it comes to this fanfic - Asshole Sans.

- ' Without thinking, their hand twitched and snagged his. While he blinked at them, they just pulled his hand close and tried to breathe. “Heh. That’s funny. You know, I think you’re the first person I’ve told that story to.” That was a lie—they knew he was the only one they told it. They didn’t think they would probably find the guts to tell it to anyone else either. “Six years, and you’re the first. Heh.” ' i love how despite what other Sans did Frisk never associates him with this Sans. Like, he doesn't remind them about the other Sans and the guilt they feel

- Frisk running away... sad, very unhealthy coping mechanisms but... really believable. Their trauma is really believable, you can feel it in some of their actions

- Sans's reaction after hearing that Sans and Tori in the other world hit it off

- The conversation how Sans's eyes changed. My shipping heaaart soaaars. Lve it.

- ' Grinning, they loosened their grip; he didn’t shrug them off though, so they kept their arms about him as they turned their face back up to the sky. “It really is an amazing sight, isn’t it?”

            Sans sighed fondly and patted their arm. “Yeah. Something else.” '

- Ten year skip

- Asriel turning into a... beanpole (pun intended)

- We are never told whose kiiiids. Tell me who had kiiiiiids (aside for Undyne and Alphys)

- I read it in one comment but apparently author forgot to mention Sans in the ten years later segment cuz of the big conversation prior to it and people panicked that he wasn't there and its just hilarious to me

- The cover for the fic is cool. Both versions.

- We got outtakes! That’s cool

And that’s... That’s what I love. With all of my heart.

Now don’t mind me while I go reread the entirity of ‘Making a Kinder World’, because now I absolutely want to and love it. I said it before but if it wasn’t for that one little comic I did back in the days based on one of the chapters, I would not have this blog, so yeah, this fanfic got a special place in my heart.

I wish I could do twice more amount of illustrations and actually make them better but oh well that’s just me. I hope you liked ‘em!

Thank you @last-haven​ and happy birthday! I hope you liked this post lol and I hope you and your family are staying safe!

[calamitykaty]

Ohana

Request- what if the cast (Madison Charlie, Owen Jeremy in an apartment together) was stuck in quarantine together with the lock down happen and they try navigate through it all and try not get in each other nerves, big brothers to mads...

WORD COUNT: 1999

WARNINGS: NONE, JUST A BUNCH OF WHOLESOME FLUFF

Owen, Charlie, Madison and Jeremy set themselves in different areas of the apartment as they prepared for yet another Zoom interview, the third one of the week. Charlie opted to take himself outside on the balcony, Madison took the kitchen table while Jeremy and Owen both set up in their respective rooms. 

“Hey guys!” The interviewer called out 

“Hi!” Madison chirped back followed by a “how you doin’” from Charlie. Jeremy came in with “Hi! It’s nice to meet you!” and Owen fumbled his entrance with  “Good Morning...or Afternoon...I don’t know where you are.” 

They went through the interview questions with ease, at this point they had heard the same questions over and over and though they tried their best the answers started to be the same too. 

“Charlie, I saw that you posted on Instagram that you all four of you are quarantining together, how is that going?” The interviewer asked and Charlie welcomed the question. 

“Oh! Gosh! It’s so much fun….well, I mean, most of the time!” Charlie laughed.

“Uh oh!” The interviewer responded. 

“No,...no, it’s all good! Owen just has a bad habit of not washing his dishes and leaving clothes all over the apartment!” Charlie revealed. 

“Oop! Not you calling people out Charlie” Madison responded with her hand over her mouth. 

Jeremy laughed, clapping his hands together and Owen chimed in “Ok, Charlie, Okay...I may be messy but at least I eat like a normal human being!” 

“Expose him!” Madi yelled out “Charlie over here eating peanut butter on his eggs…” 

They wrapped up the interview and each headed to the living room “peanut butter eggs, really, Mads?” Charlie flicked her in the forehead as he walked by her to sit on the couch. 

Madison shrugged her shoulders “...that’s what you get for coming at Owen…”

Charlie pulled out his phone and scrolled through Instagram, reposting some fan art and replying to comments before he got a notification that Owen had tagged him in a post. Charlie clicked on the video and groaned when he saw it was a video of him eating another weird food combo. Owen immediately started laughing when he saw Charlie’s face and the two boys started play fighting in the middle of the living room. 

Jeremy watched for approximately two minutes before getting up and going back to his room to facetime his wife. 

“You guys are himbos” Madison muttered under her breath.

Charlie stopped mid-way through tackling Owen and turned around to Madison, his face twisted in confusion “Huh?” 

Owen laughed, “what does that even mean?” 

Charlie turned back towards Owen “Dude, I swear she speaks a whole ‘nother language than us.”

Madison rolled her eyes and stood up “I’m going to my room to go live with my fantoms, you guys are idiots.” 

Charlie pushed out of Owen’s grasp and plopped back down on the couch. He grabbed the remote control and mindlessly flipped through the channels before landing on some old school cartoons.He sighed a happy sigh and laid his head down on the pillow propped up by the arm of the couch. Jeremy joined Charlie in the living with a smile plastered to his face. Charlie looked up at him from his spot on the couch, wiggling his eyebrows, which, in turn caused Jeremy to pull the pillow out from underneath his head and hit him in the face with it. 

“Get your head out of the gutter, Charlie” Jeremy huffed and sat down in the oversized chair adjacent to the couch “you are exhausting to live with” he muttered, his right pointer finger scrolling through his Instagram page lazily. 

“Yeah, Charlie, you’re like the worst to live with.” Owen snickered.Charlie flicked him in the back of the head. 

Jeremy looked up from his phone “I don’t know why you’re laughing,Owen...i’m pretty sure you’re growing a science experiment in your dirty dishes.”  

“Ugh..fine, MOM! I will go wash my dishes, happy?” Owen rolled his eyes and made his way to the kitchen with slumped shoulders. 

The two brown haired boys sat in silence, both scrolling through Instagram and  going through the endless amount of art, edits and covers that the fans had tagged them in. Charlie added some of his favorites to his story and commented on others as he saw fit. Every few minutes he would laugh under his breath and turn his phone to Jeremy who would laugh as well with an occasional “send me that one…” muttered into the otherwise silent air. 

“I thought Mads was on live?” Charlie cocked his head back to look at Jeremy for an answer after noticing her profile wasn’t live at the top of his screen. 

“She was for a little bit” Jeremy confirmed “she ended it like, I don’t know...an hour ago?” Jeremy shrugged. 

Charlie swung his legs to the side and sat up before pulling himself off of the couch and making his way to the teenage girls bedroom. Her door was cracked the tiniest bit but Charlie still lifted his knuckles and lightly tapped the door. He pushed the door open when he didn’t get a response from the girl and peered into her room. The walls had a purple glow reflecting off of them from the lights that ran across the molding. Madison was curled up in the middle of the bed but from her shaking body he knew she wasn’t napping. Charlie walked further into her room and sat on the foot of her bed and leaned forward, gently placing his hand on the girl's shoulder. 

“Mads?” Charlie said gently, concern laced in his voice. 

Madison squeezed her stuff ghost to her chest and shook her head at Charlie. 

“Hey...hey, what’s wrong?” Charlie grabbed her left hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Madison sucked in a shaky breath, wiped her tears from her face with the back of her right hand and sat up. She pulled her knees to her chest and laid her head on the tops of them, staring at the wall. 

“I w-wanna g-g-go home” the curly haired girl got out between small sobs, the tears falling steadily from her eyes again. 

Charlie’s face softened at the words. He remembered what it was like when he first left home for the great unknown, it was hard, and even if he was surrounded by great people, he still felt lonely sometimes too. Charlie pulled the girl forward by the wrists until her head was hooked over his shoulder and his arms wrapped around her. His right hand ran up and down her back trying to calm her down. They sat like that in silence, her tears slowly soaking through the fabric of his shirt on his shoulder. 

“You know you can always talk to us, right, Mads? Like, we aren’t ever going to judge you, you know that, yeah?” Charlie spoke softly. Madison pulled away from Charlie and wiped the last remaining tears from her cheeks as she nodded her head.

“I’ll be out in a little bit...I just need a minute” Madison gave Charlie the tiniest hint of a smile, letting him know that she was going to be ok. 

“Ok” Charlie agreed and left the girl to herself, closing the door behind him. He made his way back to the living room where Owen and Jeremy were in the middle of a game of Death By Daylight. 

“Hey, Himbo’s” Charlie greeted. 

“You don’t even know what that means, idiot.” Owen muttered. 

Charlie shrugged and grabbed the tv remote before turning the TV off without notice and eliciting angry “Hey’s” from the other two boys. He leaned back in the chair and glanced down the hallway to make sure Madison’s door was still closed.

He leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. “We need to do something like...really, really spectacular for Madi. She is really homesick and upset.” His eyes switched between the two boys as they threw ideas back and forth before Jeremy came through with the game-winning plan. 

“None of us can really cook so why don’t we order some Empanadas and Elote from that small hole-in-the-wall place that Madi likes and then we set up a zoom with her family and some of her friends for a movie night. We can get DoorDash to deliver some popcorn and snacks to us too so it’ll be like, a whole thing.” 

“Dude, Jer, you’re a genius!” Owen exclaimed and Charlie nodded his head in agreement. The three boys quickly got to work to arrange everything. Charlie ordered the food to be delivered before he quickly cleaned the dining table off so they could sit together and have a meal family style. Owen DoorDashed the movie snacks and popcorn and Jeremy DM’d several of Madi’s friends before calling her Mr. Reyes and letting him know what was going on. 

Charlie set plates out on to the table along with glasses of water and within a half hour the food and snacks had been delivered. He placed the containers of food in the middle of the table while Jeremy set up his laptop in the living room so they could join the Zoom call when they finished eating. 

“Do I smell empanadas?” Madison's voice called as the girl made her way up the hallway and towards the kitchen area. The girl stopped in the doorway with her mouth agape,her eyes scanned the dining table and the three boys that stood by it. 

“What’s all this?” She gestured with her right hand. 

Jeremy pulled out a chair and motioned for Madison to sit in it before he pushed it in towards the table. 

“We heard you were feeling a little down.” Owen shrugged as if the effort they put in over the last hour was no big deal and reached for an empanada before passing the container to Madison. Madison eagerly grabbed one and bit into it “oh myyyy gooodddd” she moaned out mid chew. 

“Elote?” Charlie held out the other food container to Madison. Madison eagerly grabbed one and placed on her plate “you guys are a couple of simps!” 

“What’s a--” Jeremy raised an eyebrow in question but was cut off by Charlie. 

“Don’t ask, I think she just makes them up as she goes.” Charlie shrugged “but I’m almost positive it’s a good thing.” 

The dining room was filled with laughter as they told jokes and played rounds of what are the odds? Madison sat back in her chair, her eyes bright and a smile so large on her face that her cheeks had begun to hurt. Jeremy got up and took all of the plates to the sink while Charlie placed the leftover food into the fridge and Owen made a quick run to the living room to enter the Zoom call and popped ‘Hocus Pocus’ into the blu-ray player. Madison whined when Charlie grabbed her by the shoulders and guided her to the living room when she tried to go back to her room to call her Dad. 

“Hocus Pocus? Guys, I love this movie!” Madison squealed, her eyes opening wide when she heard a whole room of laughter. 

“Guys…?” 

Owen turned the laptop around and Madison immediately burst into tears at seeing the faces of her family and friends on the screen all together. She popped up from the couch and pulled each of the guys into a tight hug. 

Jeremy looked down at the girl and smiled “we’re always here for ya, kid.” 

“Yeah, Mads, you’re like a little sister to us, We love you.” Owen agreed while pouring some rainbow nerds into his mouth. 

“Alright, enough of the mush, let’s get this movie night started” Charlie hopped over the back of the couch and got himself situated before pressing play. Madison rolled her eyes at the boy and settled into her spot on the couch with a bag of reeses pieces and her heart full.

Let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist! 

@straywonpil​ @siennanoelle01​ @choppedhoundsludgeclod​ @cool-ultra-nerd​ @hxney-bunches-x​ @crybabyddl​ @sorryyoureoutofmyleague​ @dream-a-little-bigger-x​ @kcd15​ @all-in-fangirl​ @ifilwtmfc​ @onlygetaway​ @iainttakingshitfromnobody​ @angryknightstatesmantrash​

[your-highnessmarvel]

Who the F*** is Chris Evans?

Requested by Anonymous: Reader meets Evans when no cameras are around and he’s had a bad day and is just over everything, reader is unaware and when they meet things do not go well at all. Chris comes off as the biggest a-hole imaginable. Reader is like “I knew that Disney loving shit was bull”, Chris realizes he’s coming off as an entitled prick, catches himself and opens up to reader, who in return opens up to him about her many moods. They bond, friendship, relationship and you can add smut if you want. 😎😬 Thank u

AN: so i have two weeks left of calm at school before final papers begin and final exams kick my fuckin ass so i’m trying to zoom through my drafts and give you guys the best of my writing for the next two weeks before i inevitably start writing less until school ends. end in sight? yeah, april 18 is my last exam, then i’m free for the entire summer, so it’s actually not that bad.

Warnings: language

*gif not mine

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MASTERLIST

The road wound endlessly before you; a long stretch of grey ribbon, interrupted by the occasional glance at the fields or the forest. It was torture, really, because you were not one to be able to hold your seat for more than a few minutes, and now you were stuck in the driver’s throne for the next six. Traveling for work used to sound amazing. It really isn’t. 

There’s a half empty water bottle in the cup holder. Various wrappings from the food you stopped to get: Wendy’s, Taco Bell, Tim Hortons. The sun was beating down through the windshield, the hot air billowing in through the open window. 

You saw in the distance a stopped car. Squinting, you could make out someone there, on the phone, the hood of the car wrenched open. 

You hadn’t left your seat in a few hours, so this was your opportunity to wiggle your legs. And you knew a thing or two about cars. Dad taught you well. 

You pulled up behind the car, watching as the person - a man - stopped talking on the phone to glance at you. He was tall and well built, a young man no older than his mid-thirties. He had a beard and dark sunglasses under a baseball cap. 

You got out, marching to him. “Hey, car trouble?” Wow, that was a classic thing to say. A Dad thing to say. 

He waved his hand around as if to say, “Duh.” And turned back to talk into the phone. You rolled your eyes, venturing to the side of the car. You felt like an imbecile looking through the window, but you did anyway and saw the entire car was shut off. 

“Car just stopped working,” came the voice of the man. You turned with a smile, and saw him dipping his phone into his coat pocket. 

“What happened?” you asked. 

Again, that smug hand wave. That frustrated-I’m-going-to-be-an-asshole-to-you-because-i’m-mad hand wave. “I don’t know?” he grumbled. “Radio shut off. Lights shut off. Steering wheel became hard to turn.”

“Battery,” you said, walking backwards to where the hood was propped open. 

“Whatever, I’m calling my agent,” he grumbled, turning his back to you.

Wow, you thought. This is how he was treating a woman trying to give him a hand? This is how he was being thankful?

“Wait a minute,” you mumbled, realizing what he said. “Agent? Are you in like the CIA?”

He scoffed, dialing on his phone. “I’m an actor.” 

You were looking into the hood of the car, and when he said that, you looked up with a frown. He didn’t look familiar. He talked to his “agent” on the phone and gave them his location and said, “My car’s being a fucking bitch again.”

He was driving a fucking Porsche. You, with you ‘99 Civic, made a weird face. 

When he hung up, he came to you with a heavy sigh and hands in his pockets. “I don’t need your help,” he sighed. “I’m good. Go home.”

“It’s your battery,” you said, ignoring him and his vicious tone. “Or the alternator is dead and can’t provide for the battery.”

“Whatever.” He turned and leaned on the car. “It’s a rental anyway.”

You took a step back, annoyed by his tone, his arrogance, and his comments. You looked him up and down once, trying to found out just who the hell he thought he was. 

“So,” you said. “Who are you?”

“What?”

“You said you’re an actor,” you commanded in a deadly serious tone. “Who the fuck are you, because you seem to think you’re some big fucking shit talking to like that to someone who’s just trying to help you.”

He stood straight and wrenched off his sunglasses, boring icy blue eyes into yours. “I’m Chris Evans,” he said. 

“Who?”

“Chris Evans?” He rose a brow condescendingly. “Captain America.”

It took a few seconds for it to register, then your mouth came open into a little O. He must have mistaken your reaction for amazement because he huffed and put his glasses back on. 

“Wow,” you mumbled. “Star spangled man with a plan is a real fucking asshole.”

“You mouth off like that to total strangers all the time?” he asked. 

“I get why they call you an A-list celebrity now,” you said, ignoring his question. “Asshole celebrity, huh?”

He slammed his fist on the side of the car, mouth twisted in anger. 

“Oh, big man slamming his fists everywhere, right on, buddy,” you said, walking past him towards your car.

“I’m sorry.”

You stopped dead in your tracks, a frown on your face. “You’re what?” you said, turning on your heels.

He was crouched near the hood, hands in his hair, cap on the ground beside him. 

“I’m having a real bad fucking day,” he mumbled as you slowly walked back to him. “My dog is sick. I had a fight with my mom. They filmed me at McDonald’s when I wasn’t looking my best. People don’t want to give me roles because they associate me with Marvel. And now this stupid shit.” He gestured to the car as he slowly rose on his feet. 

You bit the corner of your lip. His tone was softer now, like he was on the verge of crying behind those glasses. 

“Look,” you started slowly, “I have CAA and free towing. I’ll call.” 

You called from your phone and they said they were an hour out due to your location. 

“I’ll pay don’t worry,” Chris said, hands in his pockets, but now he seemed a little nervous. “I didn’t quite catch your name.”

“Y/N,” you said. “And you’d do better greeting strangers who wanna help you with respect next time.” You made to go back to your car, to leave this stupidly handsome yet angry yet nice actor out here until the tow company came. Maybe give him your CAA card so he wouldn’t have to pay full price. 

“Wait!” he called. “I... look I’m really sorry for talking to you like that. I’d like to, I don’t know, take you up for coffee?”

You stood there, ankle awkwardly jutting out. “What?”

“You don’t do coffee?”

“No, yes I do.”

“So, coffee?”

“When?”

“I can go later tonight,” he said with a relieved smile. “If I can get your number.”

You rolled your eyes. “Is this your way of picking up civilian women and luring them to some dark coffee place?”

He laughed. Wow, he was truly wonderful when he laughed. “It’s in the downtown area.”

You bit your lip, but nevertheless gave him your digits, and your CAA towing card for reduced prices. 

“I’ll be waiting for your call,” you said, walking back to your car, “Mister Chris Evans.”

Least to say, the two of you fit like hands in gloves, like moss on a fallen tree stump, like glue on construction paper. The coffee run allowed you to see just how sweet and caring Chris really was. He assured you that asshole part of him rarely comes out, and that you were actually lucky to have even seen it. 

It didn’t end there that night. Coffee turned to drinks turned to dancing in a weird corner karaoke bar turned to spending the night on his couch. And when you woke to the smell of bacon and the sight of a shirtless Chris, you vowed to not let this man go, despite his career, despite his notoriety. 

He was a simple guy. T-shirts and jeans and fluffy pillows and donuts in the morning. He was a conversationalist and an observational man. There was nothing this man did not notice, and especially on you, like the fact that you were falling in love with him. 

It didn’t take long for billboards to go crazy.

WHO IS THIS WOMAN ON CHRIS EVANS’ ARM?

CHRIS EVANS GOES ROGUE? PAST GIRLFRIENDS COMPARED TO HIS MYSTERIOUS LADY OF TODAY ON PAGE 45.

CHRIS EVANS’ MYSTERIOUS LOVER FINALLY UNMASKED. TURN TO PAGE 31 FOR HER COMPLETE RECORD.

“Wow,” you said, dropping the latest edition of TeenVogue into the chariot. Chris picked it up. “They work fast.”

He smirked. “You agreed to this.”

“I know.” You stood on your tiptoes and poked his nose. 

He grabbed you around the waist and gave you a chaste peck on the lips. Not far behind, you heard a series of clicks, and upon turning, saw a paparazzi hidden behind the shelves of potatoes. 

You could already see the newest tabloid coming. 

CHRIS EVANS AND Y/N SEEN MAKING OUT WHILE ON A SHOPPING SPREE!

[cottagecorewhore420]

Zukka Fluff <3

Protective!Sokka, Fluffy Zukka

Just a short drabble of these two lovelies being emotional on main; also, Sokka finds out how Zuko got his scar.

I hope you like it! Please lmk what you think, I’d love to hear!! <3

They were laying out under the stars, Zuko’s head cushioned by Sokka’s chest, laying contendlt as Sokka carded his hands through the elder’s hair.

“It’s hot,” Sokka complained. Not because he was truly bothered, but he wanted to break their (albeit comfortable) silence.

“Do you want me to move, because I can-“

“No!” Sokka held tighter to Zuko, wrapping both arms around him to prevent him from leaving. Zuko laughed, reorienting himself in a new position, accepting the aplogetic ‘please-don’t-leave’ kiss from Sokka with a grin.

“I was just observing, is all.”

“oh.” There was a beat, before Zuko continued. “Well...You’re hot.”

Sokka looked down at Zuko, who was grinning cheekily up at him from his new position of laying with his head on Sokka’s lap.

“Just observing, is all.” The fire lord said flirtatiously, before turning and looking out to the ocean.

Sokka chuckled quietly, so happy that they had made it to the point in their lives that Zuko was happy and  felt safe enough to joke and flirt like he did. It wasn’t suave, by any means, but the attempts at seduction were so Zuko that it was all the better.

Zuko was idly tracing patterns on Sokka’s calves, when he noticed a scar, about three inches long, shining white in the moonlight. It was obviously old, and long-healed, but he hadn’t ever seen it before.

Admittedly, though, they had only been dating for a few months, during which time Zuko had been trying to make reparations to the rest of the world on behalf of his nation and family.

He wanted to know what it was, wanted to know everything there was to know about Sokka, but additionaly, he knew how hurtful it was to always be asked about a scar; how it reduced you to nothing but some messy looking skin tissue.

Sokka had noticed the traced patterns starting to zero in on the old wound though, and unbothered, decided to tell Zuko.

“It’s from a fishing accident when I was a kid.”

Zuko jolted slihghtly, worried that he had somehow made it too obvious he was interested, but Sokka pressed on, obviously still content and not upset at all.

“Me and Katara were going with our dad and Bato to the ice-holes, to go fishing. Me and Katara had one hole, and then Bato and dad had one each. Me and katara were, predictably, arguing back and forth, and we started pushing each other and arguing- we hadn’t caught any fish, and we both were convinced it was the other’s fault. Anyways, I decided I was gonna make my own fishing hole, to prove that it was her fault we weren’t catching any fish. So, I stomped about ten feet south of her, and then realized I needed something to make the hole. So, being the stupid little kid I was, I yelled at Katara to throw me the bone-dagger we use to skin the fish. And, being the stupid little kid Katara was, she threw it. It, uh-,” Sokka sheepishly cleared his throat, before continuing. “It detached from the holder mid-air, and went right through my leg. It slashed my calf really bad, but that’s all that’s left, at this point.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Nah, it’s all healed up now. Besides, I’ve heard scars are sexy. They apparently help pick up cute guys.”

Zuko sat up, quirking his non-scarred brow at Sokka, who laughed and just grabbed Zuko, moving him towards him until they were hugging, stomach to stomach, Zuko in Sokka’s lap.

“I’m just kidding- I really only wanna pick up one guy.”

“Hmmph.” Zuko looked away playfully, ignoring Sokka’s attempts to kiss him. “Is this mystery guy a cute guy?”

“Oh, the cutest.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. He’s got this really hot teen angst, brooding vibe, but once you get to know him he’s a total softie. It’s really quite endearing.”

Zuko’s cheek colored, blush matching his other cheek’s red.

“Well… seems like a lucky guy if he’s managed to catch you.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the lucky one.”

“Yeah?”

Sokka was in Zuko’s face suddenly, breathing in the same air, hot puffs of breath hit Zuko’s lips. Blue eyes met gold, both blown wide with lust.

Leaning forward, centimeters away from his lips, Sokka whispered “yeah.” Before leaning forward, capturing Zuko in a heated kiss, grabbing Zuko’s thighs and moving him higher up on his lap, stabilizing him.

The movement and flippant showing of strength from his insanely hot water-tribe beefcake of a boyfriend made Zuko moan brokenly into the kiss, which just allowed Sokka access to lick into Zuko’s now-opened mouth.

~

They laid there, panting, Zuko completely atop Sokka, his non-scarred ear pressed against Sokka’s chest, listening to the beat of his heart, allowing it to comfort him.

Despite laying fairly-openly on the beach, he hadn’t felt this safe and protected in a long time than when he was here, right in this moment, basking in the afterglow with Sokka.

“I have a scar from a family member too.”

“Yeah, baby?” Sokka’s tone was light; he didn't want to pressure Zuko into sharing his scar’s story. 

Even when Katara had pressured him when they began dating, he had remained firm that if Zuko never wanted to discuss it, it was his own prerogative, and that was fine, too.

“Yeah… I was thirteen, and my uncle had talked the war-room guards into letting me sit in on my first strategy meaning. So, we went in, and this general was talking about how he was going to move an entire division of troops into a suicide-mission, purely as a distraction.”

The night around them was quite, still except for their voices, as if Yue was watching to make sure nothing interrupted them from this obviously-important moment.

Sokka was sickened at the horrifically brutish militia tactics the fire nation used to employ- to willingly sacrifice hundreds of lives, just for a slight strategical advantage? Disgusting.

“I… I didn’t agree, didn’t think that was right. I spoke up, even though Uncle had warned me not to. But I went on and said how reprehensible that was, how those were real people, with families and lives, and a loyalty to our nation. I was quickly rebuked, and in a show of anger, I agreed to an Agni Kai.“

“Oh my god- at 13?!”

“Yes. And I was stupid enough to take the offer.”

“Oh my god- baby, I’m so sorry.” Sokka curled an arm protectively over his boyfriend’s form. Sokka ached for 13-year-old Zuko, scared and desperate to please his father, to please his nation.

“When I got to the arena, and prepared for the Agni Kai, it was revealed to me that I wasn’t going to be fighting the general. Because I had spoken out of turn in the fire lord’s war room, my slight was against the fire lord, not the general.”

“No-“ Sokka gasped, heart clenching at what he suspected was going to come next.

“My father was there, and said he would be who I battled in the Agni Kai for my honor. I- I had no idea it was him I would be fighting. I dropped to my knees, in front of the whole stadium, crying, pleading. I refused to fight my own father, and I told him as his humble and loving son, I refused to do so. I was so sorry, I was so scared.”

Zuko at this point had sat up, staring out at the ocean, legs crossed in a meditative-esque pose, hands on their respective knees. His voice was small, almost drowned out by the gently cresting waves. 

To hear him, Sokka had moved so he was sitting directly behind him, purposefully not touching his boyfriend despite a visceral want to do so. He  knew this was a hard thing for Zuko to discuss, and he also knew physical touch was something his boyfriend struggled with.

“My father… he told me I had brought dishonor to myself, and in punishment held his hand over my eye, and shot a burst of flame into my face. He banished me that night, and Uncle went with me… he said I would only be allowed back, to restore my honor if I brought him the avatar.”

Sokka jumped up, and started aggressively pacing back and forth, parallel to Zuko.

As if pulled from a dream, the thousan yard stare Zuko had adopted broke, looking shocked at the tensed body of his boyfriend.

“Sokka?”

When he didn’t get a response, Zuko worriedly stood up and approached his stony faced boyfriend, shocked to find tears rolling down his dark cheeks.

“Where is he?”

“Wha-“

“Where is Ozai?!”

Zuko was shocked at the aggressive tone of Sokka’s voice. He had never heard him this… feral sounding. And, pushing past the thought that is was insanely (I mean, really, insanely hot), he was worried.

“Why do you need to know where my father-?”

“Don’t call him that, Zuko! That disgusting animal doesn’t deserve any relation to you.” Sokka looked like a mongoose-viper, coiled and ready to strike. His growled words and obvious anger were very confusing to Zuko, who just watched warily. He didn’t think Sokka would hurt him, but he was confused at the anger literally emanating from Sokka in waves.

“Why are you mad?”

“Why am I- Because I am trying to stop myself from building a ship, sailing to mainland, and hunting through every prison cell in the fire nation until I find your deadbeat father.”

“What- why?!”

“Tui and La, Zuko, because that vile excuse for a human had the audacity to lay his hands on you, his own fucking son with such a sick fucking intent- I just. That shit isn’t okay. If this were back home, I would have his fucking head, for doing that. To a- to a kid, Zuko!”

Sokka was crying now, tears illuminated under Yue’s averted gaze.

“Baby, I’m okay.”

“But it’s not okay. I am- I’m so sorry Zuko. The hand that you were dealt was so fucking unfair. I am so sorry, I wish I could protect you from that fucking monster. I just- I want to rip his head off. How dare he-“ Zuko brought his distraught boyfriend into his arms, who slumped down into the smaller framed man.

Sokka’s tears were steadily flowing, soaking Zuko’s bare chest.

“It’s okay, Sokka. I’m sorry I said anything, I-“

“No, please- I’m- God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be the one being comforted right now.” He pulled away from Zuko, scrubbing his face with his hand. His form, now fully matured, towerd over Zuko. (Holy shit that’s hot Zuko thought staring at his jutting muscles in the moonlight, before admonishing himself that now was not the time to be horny on the beach.)

“It’s just- the mere thought of someone laying a hand on you, baby, especially with such an evil purpose, it makes my blood boil. I love you so much, Zuko, and I know you probably aren’t ready to say that, which is fine, but I love you so fucking much and all I want is to protect you, and heal you, and save you from-mmhph!” 

Sokka was silenced by Zuko’s fervent kiss, hungrily moving his lips against his boyfriends.

When they both needed air, the pulled apart regretfully, panting in sync.

 “I love you too.”

They fell back into the sand, and back into each others arms, languidly kissing, feeling blessed to be with the other, in their small, personal realm of love and safety.

~

“Iroh.”

“Hello, Sokka. What an unexpected surprise!” The reitred war general regarded his nephew’s boyfriend warmly, if not slightly appraisingly as he stood outside Iroh’s quarters in the palace.

“Is it?”

“Ah, well, perhaps not entirely. My nephew mentioned he has told you the story behind his scar.”

“He did.”

“When he came to me, he seemed very shocked to find your reaction so… visceral. I had to explain to him that anyone who loves him truly and deeply will react much the same. He still has trouble realizing his worth, how his treatment as a child was so flawed. He’s still accepting that the world’s treatment of him wasn’t right, and wasn’t deserved.”

“I… I haven’t felt that kind of anger in a long, long time. Maybe ever.”

“Hmm. That is just the price of love, Sokka.” he mused. Turning his wizened eyes to the younger man, “Now, I’m sure you’ve come to see me for more than a hello, yes?”

“Do you know where Ozai is being kept?”

Iroh regarded the man, studying him, not letting the shock show on his face.

Far from the young child-soldier with traditional face paint on who he first saw many years ago; Sokka had grown so much.

In place of that lanky, pubescent boy, stood now a full-fledged southern water tribe warrior, who had the traditional tattoos, battle scars, and hard-earned wisdom to prove his standing in the world. He had fought for all he had, and he protected what he saw as his.

With a deep sigh, Iroh moved aside from the doorway. “Hmm... this may be a bit longer than I thought. Do come in, Sokka… won’t you play me in a riveting game of Pai Sho?”

[hermit-pistol]

stubborn (oldseph x reader)

anonymous asked:  why hello there! i'd like to request a part 3 joseph x reader where the reader is a crusader and joseph's always trying to protect her, but she's always trying to prove herself to him and then they fall in love! thank you so much my joseph fan friend!

Oldseph is literally the light of my life, okay. I don’t usually write super long stuff like this but I was so moved because Oldseph. Here ya go! 

You had never guessed that you would find yourself in this situation: traveling the middle east with a few grown men and a couple of high school students thrown in for good measure.

The dynamic was a bit awkward at first, to say the least. While you were in your mid-twenties and were capable of handling yourself, being surrounded by men always had its downsides.

They always thought that you needed protection, which wasn't true in the slightest. You knew what you were getting into when accepting the offer of defeating DIO once and for all. You even had a stand of your own. Yet, it was always "You should stay out of this, Y/N." or "It's dangerous to go there alone. Let me come with you."

It drove you insane, to say the least.

You've told the other crusaders countless times that you were okay and they left you to your own devices. Except for one. Joeseph Joestar.

He had to be the most stubborn man that you've met in your entire life. After your pleading and constant requests to leave you be, he would still watch you like a hawk all day every day.

Although you had to admit that you found his dedication to you quite flattering. Or...maybe you just craved the attention. You couldn't be sure.

Today was another hectic day, with the gang chasing after another enemy stand user that went by the name of Hol Horse. Just a few short moments ago he had shot your beloved comrade Avdol point-blank. After cornering him; however, the slippery cowboy had evaded their grasp. Luckily they wasted no time chasing him down, and they were quickly closing the distance.

"Get back here! I'll kill you for what you did to Avdol!" Polnareff shouted, Silver Chariot attempting to stab at his heels. Hol Horse had now begun shooting with Emporer at the sand, creating a cloud of dust that had made it hard enough to see just about anything. "Shit!" It was later discovered that Chariot's rapier was stabbing at nothing.

"You'll never take me alive!" Hol Horse had begun shooting like a madman now in a desperate attempt at escape. You had kept up with the rest of the bunch this whole time, but Joseph wasn't having any of it.

"Y/N. You have to stay behind me." He glanced back at you to see that you were following his careful orders. You could feel your blood beginning to boil.

"Excuse you? I can take care of myself, thank you very much." Your stand expertly deflected the stray bullets that were flying here and there. Joseph used his Hermit Purple to create a net around you, lifting you off of the ground.

"Hey, what the- you've got to be kidding me right now..." you were now suspended above the sandy terrain, your stand trying to free you from the vine's grasp. It was no use, as Joseph used a spark of Hamon to keep your quest for freedom at bay.

"Sorry Y/N, I know that you're mad. But Hol Horse isn't taking any chances. He's gone crazy, and we can't risk losing you."

You slumped to the bottom of the makeshift net, the sounds of gunfire still ringing in your ears. The statement really should have been: 'I can't risk losing you' at this point. All of the other crusaders have respected your wishes, but Joseph always went that extra mile to make sure that you were protected and safe. Maybe it wasn't all bad, but you figured that another talk with the old man would just do more harm than good at this point.

A couple of minutes had gone by, with you still trapped in your makeshift prison. It was only when you heard the screams of a certain cowboy that you stood up and leaned lightly against the thorny wall.

Hol Horse had finally been caught. Kakyoin was interrogating him about DIO's whereabouts while Jotaro's Star Platinum had him in a chokehold. "Please, please lemme go! I'll tell ya where Mr. DIO is!" He cried, and Joseph let out a low rumble of a laugh. It was strangely...attractive?

"You really think that we're gonna let you go, huh?" He removed his hat to scratch his head. You watched him run his hands through his salt and pepper locks, and from your practically-aerial view, it looked particularly soft?

No....you were not getting feelings for Joseph Joestar. 69-year-old Joseph Joestar. This can't be happening.

Hol Horse was having none of Joseph's teasing. "Please, I'll do anything!" He pleaded. Joseph looked over to Kakyoin, who looked to Jotaro and so on and so forth. No one looked at you, still trapped in vines. You couldn't help but roll your eyes at the idiotic display.

While everyone was exchanging glances to decide what to do, you were the only one who had noticed Hol Horse reaching into his boot. He had something up his sleeve. "Guys, he's got a-!" you tried to shout out to reach the others, but it was no use.

There was an extra gun stashed away that had been neglected in the patdown after his capture. He shot at the sand once more and then ran as if his life depended on it...which it certainly did.

Jotaro pointed in his direction, ready to send Star Platinum into a frenzy. Kakyoin stopped him before he could begin his assault. "It's not worth it, Y/N was the only one who could have possibly prevented that escape from happening." Joseph began to turn around and walk back to where they had thrown their supplies before Kakyoin could call him out. "Now where do you think you're going?"

"Ah, me?" He instinctively put his hand on the back of his neck. "I was just getting a drink! Was probably gonna grab something for Y/N too." He gave a thumbs up.

"Why am I still trapped in his hellhole?" You yelled down to the group. Joseph quickly released his Hermit Purple and you were safely brought back to the ground. "You are so thick. What makes you think that I can't take care of myself, huh?" Out of frustration, your hand had rested itself upon your hip.

"I was just trying to protect you!" He threw up his hands in defense. "That Hol Horse guy is crazy-"

"You wanna know what's crazy? Taking me out of the chase and lifting me into the sky so I wouldn't be in harm's way." You bit your lip in order to avoid saying something that you would later regret.

Before things could get more heated, Polnareff was the one who finally decided to break the tension. "I think that everyone is just tired since we've been out in the sun all day. Tensions are still high from the loss of Avdol, agreed?" Everyone gave a solemn nod. Losing their friend that day had taken a toll on all of them, Polnareff especially.

"He does have a point," Jotaro spoke, folding his arms. "Today's been a rough day for us all. And to top it all off...I'm starving..."

"Me too..." You couldn't deny the sounds that your stomach was making. All of that rage and aggressive towards Joseph had made you work up quite the appetite.

"I've got a great idea! Let's go somewhere special for dinner tonight. To make up for what I did to Y/N." Joseph gave a grin. It made your anger dissipate almost immediately, but you would never let him have the satisfaction of knowing that. "Even better, I'll pay!"

"Fine, but only because you're paying..." You grumbled as you gathered the rest of your earlier confiscated belongings from the heap of supplies on the ground. At least you were being treated to a good meal. ---- After arguing for a solid 30 minutes about where to eat for the night, you all had finally decided on a steakhouse. Even though they were in India, Joseph had insisted on sampling a classic "American" burger because he was feeling homesick.

The waitress that ushered you in was very polite, and soon the 5 of you were settled into a booth, with you and Joseph sitting on one side, and Kakyoin, Polnareff, and Jotaro sitting on the other.

"Can I get you guys something to drink?" The uncomfortably jovial waitress asked around the table and just wrote down a little scribble here and there.

When it was finally your turn, you asked for an iced tea. But not before being cut off by Joseph who insisted that water was the better choice. Thankfully, the booth was so cramped that you could dig your elbow into his side, making him howl with pain. "I'm so sorry about that. If I could get an iced tea that would be great!"

When the woman was out of earshot. Joseph turned to you, still rubbing his side with his prosthetic hand. It accidentally brushed against you, and the chill of the cool metal sent shivers down your spine. "Now, what was that about!"

"I can order a damn beverage for myself, Joseph."

"Someone could have poisoned the iced tea and we don't even know!" He raised his eyebrows along with his voice.

"I'm done fighting. Let's just finish this dinner and find a hotel...I'm exhausted." You sighed, resting your read on the table. Even though you couldn't see it, you could practically feel Joseph's eyes on you.

The rest of the dinner continued in silence. Everyone stared at their plates when the food came out, and so far the only interaction that had occurred during their outing besides the outbursts from Joseph was when Polnareff started choking on his burger.

"This is what I get for eating American food..." He managed between coughs.

"A rather silent bunch tonight, aren't we-" Kakyoin eventually broke the silence, reaching across the table for the ketchup bottle.

"I just don't really feel like talking, that's all." You answered, just pushing around the leftover food on your plate. In reality, you were just trying to process these newly-surfaced feelings for Joseph. You must have been so spaced out that he noticed.

"Hey, space cadet!" He waved his hand in front of your face, causing you to snap out of it. "You okay, Y/N? You've been acting awfully strange."

You could feel a blush creeping up on your features, so you attempted to cover your face. "I-it's nothing, really. I just- haven't eaten beef in a while and it's upsetting my stomach, that's all!" Really? Like he would believe that.

"I've got some medicine in my bag I can give to ya when we're back at the hotel. I don't want you to be in pain." Curse him for caring about you!

"I'll be okay, let's just get out of here." Joseph shrugs and calls the waitress over to bring the check. The rest of the restaurant outing goes smoothly, you guys even got the fancy mints! You each pitched in for the tip, despite protests from Joseph, and made your way back into the stifling desert air.

The hotel check-in was a relatively painless process as well, Jotaro and Kakyoin had decided to room together, and Polnareff offered to share a room with Joseph. That left you with your own room for the night.

Since you usually traveled in even numbers, finally having a room to yourself for once was pretty nice. Although, you wished that it could have been under different circumstances. When you entered your single suite you all but ran to the bed, throwing your bags on the ground. The soft sheets welcomed you and lulled you into a deep sleep.

That was until you were woken up from your precious slumber by a sharp knock at the door.  

You checked your phone, seeing that only a couple hours had passed since you had checked in and bid the rest of the group goodnight. Looking out the window, you could tell that the sun had already set, giving way to a night sky accompanied by a slight breeze. Nights in the desert could be pleasant sometimes.

"Coming!" You shouted, looking in the mirror quickly to make sure that you didn't look like a complete and utter mess. After giving yourself the once over you peered into the peephole to see Joseph. He was clutching a bag and some water. 'Oh yeah, the medicine.'

You opened the door, and he gave you a wide smile. "Good evening! I came to bring you that medicine. And I got some water too!" He playfully shook the bottle in his hand. What a goofball.

"That's very sweet of you, Joseph." You felt the corners of your lips tug upward, threatening to form a smile. God, you couldn't deny how charming he was. "Why don't you come inside."

"Okay, if you insist!" He stepped across the threshold and shut the door carefully behind him. He handed you the medicine and water and walked across the room to sit on your bed. "I see that you already broke this bad boy in." He gestured to the sheets, which had still been rustled from your nap.

"Yeah, I was exhausted after everything that happened today." You decided to be bold and sit down on the bed next to him. He almost flinched a little when he felt the bed covers dip beside him. Was Joseph Joestar getting a little flustered?

"Y/N, now that we're here. I actually have something else to tell you." The grip on your water bottle tightened, and you took a shaky swig.

"Oh yeah, what's that? You finally want to apologize for all those times that you got in my way?" You tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

"No, actually. I find myself doing those things because I can't stand to live in a world without you. I really you Y/N-" The last sentence came out a little rushed, but your eyes went wide.

You were holding the water bottle so tightly at this point that it was a bit uncomfortable. Being taken aback by the confession, you just sat in silence for a bit. Finally, after a few seconds of unbearable quiet, you spoke up. "Well, that explains a lot actually."

"It does, doesn't it." Joseph moved a little closer to you, now gently holding your free hand. "I don't mean to sound like a bother to you, but I just can't stand to see you hurt. I know that you are probably more than a little uncomfortable with the age difference, anybody would be but-" You cut off his rambling with a quick kiss.

You giggled as you watched his face turned red. He was completely speechless for once. "You really need to learn when to shut up sometimes. I've been denying my feelings for too long as well. It's about time that I was completely honest with myself."

"You- you really feel the same way?" Joseph was absolutely bewildered at this point, for he was not expecting this response. You nodded your head in response.

"But, from now on if this is gonna work out, you gotta let me off the leash a little. Or else I'll have to... tickle you or something." You set your water bottle on the nearby nightstand and stood up.

"Empty threats, empty threats I say." Joseph blew a raspberry. He also stood up, and you noticed the size difference between the two of you. His tallness was insanely attractive, to the point where it wasn't fair. "Well, I better get going."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, it gets lonely here at night." You shot him a pleading look, slapping the covers where he once sat.

He walked over to you and picked you up, your legs were now wrapped around his giant torso. "You would like that, wouldn't you." Your lips were dangerously close to touching, but he decided not to close the distance, much to your dismay.

"Well, it sounds like a good idea to me." Your arms were draped around the back of his neck. They reached up to play with his hair, and you cherished the feeling of his soft strands. 'His hair really is that soft...'

"You're gonna have to let me grab my clothes then, I'm not sleeping in these." He was still wearing his daily attire.

You slid off of him reluctantly. 'I guess I'll let you go then. Don't take too long."

"No promises!" He teased, exiting your room, leaving you to shut the door behind him. You leaned against the door before closing it, admiring his retreating assets. 

After shutting the door, you leaned against it and smiled. That was quite the unexpected turn of events. At least you found out the reason behind Joseph's constant nagging, and quite honestly you wouldn't have it any other way.

[hermankopusortizorsumshite]

You and Kozik were best friends. He was always with you when he wasn’t with the MC. When he had down time, he spent it at your place.

“Hey princess? You busy right now?” He asks, calling you your favorite nickname, though you had plenty of those.

“Nah, why? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just had a question. I’m getting patched into SAMCRO tonight, wondered if you’d wanna come hang out?” You considered it, but you weren’t sure where you’d fit in.

“I don’t know, Koz. I’m not really SAMCRO material. I’’m not a crow eater, and I’m not an old lady. Ya know?” You ask, but you hear a chuckle on the other end.

“Hey, as far as anyone’s concerned its just you and me. A’right? Anyway, get dressed I’m already on my way.” He chuckles, hanging up on you. You got dressed, though you contemplated not doing it. A pair of black studded shorts, biker boots, and his old SAMTAC shirt that you’d hacked into an off the shoulder top. “Hey!” He shouts as he jogs up the steps to greet you. His eyes fell to the short shorts and exposed collarbone. He frowned for a moment.

“What?” You ask, his facial expression not going unnoticed.

“Nothin’. You ready?” You nod hesitantly, not sure what he’d been thinking, but you ignore it, putting on your helmet. As the two of you climbed onto the motorcycle, he hauls your bare legs up around his waist. “You’re gonna burn ‘em.” He shouts over the roar of the bike before he takes off, heading back to Charming with his girl hugged tight to him. His girl. That had a ring to it, didn’t it? He shook his head to clear his thoughts as he pulled into Teller-Morrow. How did you expect to fit dressed like that? Short shorts and his old SAMTAC tee, or what was left of it, you stood out. Shivering as the chilly breeze swept past you, Kozik took the opportunity to offer you his SAMCRO sweatshirt from the bag mounted over the handlebars. You declined his offer, sitting on the table and putting your boots on the seat of the picnic table.

“This wasn’t a good idea. I’m not some crow eater, and the minute I walk in there its gonna be up for grabs.” You sigh, starting towards the road to call a cab.

“Hey, I said I got you. I got you.” He assures, steering you into the building. You’re met with hugs and greetings alike, all nice and welcoming. “Guys, this is my ol’ lady.” You choke on his words, coughing quickly to cover it up.

“Nice man, where’s her crow?” Tig asks, eyeing your exposed skin.

“Doesn’t have it yet.” He barks, you watch the anger and hatred float between the two like a heavy rain cloud.

“Tiggy, Lanna, Lanna this is Tig.” He nips, a protective hand covering your hip as he pulled you against him. Tig kissed your knuckles like a gentleman, and you blushed. Kozik was quick to wheel you away from his friends, sitting you at a table with Gemma and Tara before he disappeared into the crowd. You were hurt when you found women fawning over him, the freshest meat in the place, but he was jealous of even Tig’s gentlemanly gesture. So much so he sat you at the mom table.

“So you and Kozik, how long you two been together?”

“A year,” you respond, watching him chuckle when a woman purrs something in his ear. She nibbles on his ear and kisses at his neck. You roll your eyes and heave a sigh. Perfect timing. You giggle as Tig finds his way to you, a drink in his hand and a smile on his face.

“Hey darlin’ you look lonely. Mind if I join?” Gemma and Tara had gotten up and disappeared leaving you there with Tig. His arm lands over your shoulder as he kicks back, enjoying the party. “You and Kozik, he’s never mentioned you before. You really his ol’ lady?”

“No, just his friend. He wanted me here to celebrate, though I’m not sure why. I haven’t seen him since he almost ate your head off.” You shrug, feeling your heart ache.

“Sorry doll, I guess he’s soaking it in, huh? You okay here? I’ll take ya home if you like. No questions asked. I’ll be a perfect gentleman.” He chuckles. You nod, accepting his offer. You were plenty ready to get away from this madness. Kozik’s eyes fall on Tig’s hand leading you out of the building, and he follows hot on your heels.

You accept the helmet from Tig, slipping it on and adjusting it before getting onto the back of his motorcycle. Kozik watched on as the two drove out of the lot. He was seething, he couldn’t believe you’d just leave without saying anything. Starting his bike after a moment, he followed them for a little ways, they were headed back to Tacoma. He stopped in the middle of the lane, turned around and went back to TM. She must’ve been tired, he assures as he heads back into the party. An hour later Tig arrived back, and by then Kozik was drunk enough to confront him.

“You enjoy her?” He slurs, stepping into Tig’s path.

“What?” The ebony-haired man asks, eyes squinting at the drunk.

“You heard me. Did you?”

“She’s home safe, if that’s what you’re asking. I didn’t do anything, you moron. I just took her home like she asked.” He rolls his eyes trying to step passed the drunken man.

“Tiggy, did you fuck her?”

“No man! Stop asking!” He barks.

“Tig, did you fuck her?” He shouts, stopping everyone.

“NO! I TOOK HER HOME!” He shrieks, slamming his beer on the table and squaring his shoulders. He watched the blonde teeter for a second..

“Why didn’t she tell me she wanted to go home, then?” He asks.

“Because you were a little busy with her.” He waves a hand to the crow eater tucked under his arm.

“Nah, it doesn’t matter. She’s just a friend, not like she cares who I bang as long as I give her a little dick too.” He slurs, not realizing what he said. Without a second thought, he and the crow eater head to his room.

Tig stood there in shock, with everyone else. Kozik wasn’t shy about his sex life, even bragged most times, but he’d never mentioned you that way before. Tig wondered if that was how he really felt. He stewed on what Kozik said all night. You were a sweet girl, shy but you seemed to really like that blonde moron. Tig had respected you, even in a way that Kozik hadn’t.

“Morning,” Kozik grumbles, walking passed him.

“You’re an asshole. I’ve tried to justify what you said all night. All night, but I can’t.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He barks, wincing at his headache.

“You were so drunk you don’t even remember.” He laughs, taking a drink from his coffee cup.

“What? And where did Lanna go last night?”

“I took her home.”

“Ah, thanks man.”

“You know you said that she was your friend, and it didn’t matter who you banged as long as she got some dick too?” Kozik stopped mid step towards the bathroom and turned around.

“Nah, I didn’t do th—“

“You sure did, in front of everyone here. That wonderful crow eater got your phone after you passed out, called her and told her what you said. Said she was lucky enough to get some of that Kozik dick too.” Gemma interrupts him, clasping her hands together. Gemma watched on as his eyes bulged and darkened, his hands visibly shaking.

“No, no I didn’t. She’d never believe that crow eater.” He assures himself more than anyone else. “Would she?” He questions it, but he stops thinking and runs for his bike. He had to make it up to her. She probably thought the worst of him. He invited her to this party, and was insulted.

He tore into the driveway to find another motorcycle there. Happy’s. He started towards the door when Happy met him on the porch, arms crossed over his chest.

“She doesn’t wanna talk, man.” He barks, watching Kozik head towards the back door.

“I gotta see her. I gotta apologize, man. I said some shit-“

“We all know what you said.” He drones, pushing him back.

“Well I gotta apologize shithead! Let me through!” He pleads, looking through the window trying to get a glimpse of you.

You sat on the bathroom floor bawling, you hadn’t quit since you got the call from that crow eater bitch. You knew you shouldn’t be upset. After all, he wasn’t wrong. You’d occasionally slept together, but it was something intimate, something you didn’t share with anyone. You supposed you shouldn’t be mad, you were the one who didn’t want to be an ol’ lady. You didn’t want the title, so how could you want the benefits?

“Princess! I know you can hear me!” He shouts, his voice quaking and muffled through the walls. “Lanna! Please! I didn’t mean what I said!” He shouts.

Kozik pounded on the door relentlessly, praying you’d let him in. Finding some kind of strength, you stumble your way to the door unlocking it and swinging it open before heading back to the safety of the bathroom, locking the door behind you.

“Babygirl, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean that shit. Fuck, I was so drunk. I’m sorry.” He whispers, eyes pleading you.

“Did you enjoy her?” You snip, hearing the one thing click and the door open. He saw you in a mess on the floor, eyes bright red and swollen. His heart broke.

“Oh princess. Christ baby. I’m so sorry.” He drops to his knees, gathering you into his strong arms.

“Did you like it?” You whisper, trying to pull away from him.

“I don’t remember it. I just remember this morning when they told me what I said. I’m sorry for ditching you, too. I didn’t mean it.” You shrug.

“I can’t be mad. It’s not fair. I told you I’d never be an ol’ lady.” You huff, trying to stop crying.

“Babygirl, I shouldn’t have done it. I never should have invited you and then acted the way I did. I’m sorry. Please, forgive me.” He whispers, pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s okay baby, I’m sorry too. I’m sorry I left without saying anything. Don’t worry tho, that Tig was a total gentleman, even offered to sleep on the couch if I needed someone here.” You chuckle.

“I’m really sorry.” He whispers, gripping you tightly against his body. Pressing hard kisses to your forehead, he grabs your face, planting a hot and heavy kiss on your lips. “Fuck that old lady bull crap, be my wife. I’ll be your husband.” He whispers, still hugging you tightly.

“Kozik, you don’t mean that.” You hush, pushing him away from you.

“Yeah I do. I want you, forever. Whatever our little pissing match was yesterday, it’s over. You and me, now and forever. I’m not taking no for an answer. So shut up, get up, and let’s go on a real date. Preferable before Happy gets in here and kills me.” You chuckle and stand up, letting him lead you out of the bathroom.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.” He presses a hard kiss to your lips once more, dragging you tightly against his body.

[letterboxd]

The Package.

As the bonkers genre thrill-ride Shadow in the Cloud blasts into the new year, writer and director Roseanne Liang unpacks her love of Terminator 2, watching Chloë Grace Moretz’s face for hours, and the life lesson she learned from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s Cheng Pei-Pei.

Roseanne Liang’s TIFF Midnight Madness winner Shadow in the Cloud landed with a blast of fresh genre energy on VOD platforms on New Year’s Day. It’s A-class action in a B-grade body, cramming plenty into its taut 83 minutes, including: a top-secret package, a freakish gremlin, a hostile bunch of Air Force dudes, outrageous stunts, dogfights and a fake wartime PSA that feels remarkably real.

Throughout, the camera is focused mostly on one face—Chloë Grace Moretz’s, playing British flight officer Maude Garrett—as she tackles all of the above from a claustrophobic ball turret hanging under a B-17 Flying Fortress, on a classified mission over the Pacific Ocean during World War II.

While the film’s tonal swings are confusing to some, schlock enthusiasts and genre lovers on Letterboxd have embraced the film’s intentionally outlandish sensibility, which “makes excellent use of its genre mash to create an unpredictable, guilty pleasure,” says Mirza. Fajar writes that “it felt like the people involved in this project knew how ridiculous it is and gave a hundred and ten percent to make it work. Someday, it will become a cult classic.” Mawbey agrees: “It really goes off the rails in all the best ways during the final third, and the last couple of shots are just perfect.”

Chloë Grace Moretz and her top-secret package in ‘Shadow in the Cloud’.

To most of the world, Liang is a so-called “emerging” director, when in fact, the mother-of-two, born in New Zealand to Chinese parents, has been at this game for the past two decades. She has helmed a documentary and a romantic drama, both based on her own marriage; a 2008 short called Take 3, which preceded Hollywood’s current conversation about representation and harassment; and Do No Harm, the splatter-tastic 2017 short in which her technical chops and fluid feel for action were on full display, and, as recorded in multiple Letterboxd reviews, established her as one to watch.

Do No Harm scored Liang valuable Hollywood representation, whereupon producer Brian Kavanaugh-Jones brought Shadow in the Cloud to her, thinking she might connect with the material. “It did connect with me on a level that is very personal,” Liang tells me. “As a woman of color, as a mother who juggles a lot.” She says Kavanaugh-Jones then went through the process of removing original writer Max Landis from the project. “He felt that Max was not a good fit for this project, or for how we like to run things. We like to be respectful and courteous and kind to each other…”

In several interviews, Liang has said she’s comfortable with film lovers choosing not to watch Shadow in the Cloud based on Landis’s early involvement. What she’s not comfortable with is her own contribution—and that of her cast and crew—being erased. While WGA rules have his name attached firmly to the project, the credit belies the reality: his thin script, reportedly stretched out to 70 pages by using a larger-than-usual font, was expanded and deepened by Liang and her collaborators.

Writer-director Roseanne Liang. / Photo by Dean O’Gorman

That team includes editor Tom Eagles, Oscar nominated for Jojo Rabbit, actor Nick Robinson (the titular Simon in Love, Simon) and Beulah Koale, a star of the Hawaii Five-Oh series. The opening newsreel was created by award-winning New Zealand animation studio Mukpuddy, after a small test audience got weirded out by the sight of a gremlin in a war film, despite well-documented WWI and WWII gremlin mythology. It’s an unnecessary but happy addition. The cartoon style was inspired by Private Snafu, a series of WWII educational cartoons scripted by none other than Dr. Seuss and directed by Looney Tunes legend Chuck Jones.

But the film ultimately hangs on Chloë Grace Moretz, who overcame cabin fever to drive home an adrenaline rush of screen craft, in which the very limits of what’s humanly possible in mid-air are tested (in ways, it must be said, that wouldn’t be questioned if it were Tom Cruise in the role). Liang would often send directions to Moretz’s ball turret via text, while her cast members delivered live dialogue from an off-set shipping container rigged with microphones. “I just never got sick of Chloë’s face and I’ve watched her hundreds, if not thousands of times. You feel her, you are her, she just engages you in a way that a huge fighting scene might not, if it’s not designed well. Giant empty spectacle is less interesting than one person in one spot, sometimes.”

Ambitious and nerdy about film in equal measure, it’s clear there’s much more to come from Liang, and I’m interested in what her most valuable lesson has been so far. Turns out, it’s a great story involving Chinese veteran Cheng Pei-Pei (Come Drink With Me’s Golden Swallow, and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon’s Jade Fox), whose film training includes a tradition of remaining on set throughout filming.

Roseanne Liang on the set of ‘Shadow in the Cloud’.

That meant that, during filming of Liang’s My Wedding and Other Secrets, Cheng would stay on set when she wasn’t required. “In New Zealand, trailers are a luxury,” Liang explains. “I said ‘Don’t you want to go to the trailer that we arranged for you?’ ‘No, I just want to sit and watch.’ ‘Why do you want to watch it, you’ve seen it hundreds of times!’ And she said ‘I learn something new every time’. To Pei-Pei, the secret of life is constant education and curiosity and learning. Movies are her work and her craft and her life, and she never gets bored. If I can be like her, that’s the life, right?”

Speaking of which, it’s time we put Liang through our Life in Film interrogation.

What’s the film that made you want to become a filmmaker? Terminator 2: Judgment Day is the movie that is at the top of the mountain that I’m climbing. To me it’s the perfect blend of spectacle, action design, smarts and heart. It poses the theory that if a robot can learn the value of humanity then maybe there’s hope for the ships that are us. That’s perennial, and possibly even more pertinent today. It holds a very special place in my heart, along with Aliens, Mad Max: Fury Road, Die Hard, La Femme Nikita and Léon: The Professional.

What’s your earliest memory of watching a film? I have a cassette tape that my dad made for my grandma in 1981 (he’d send tapes back to his mother in Hong Kong). I was three years old and he had just taken us to see The Empire Strikes Back in the cinema. And he can’t talk to my grandma because I’m just going on and on about R2-D2. I will not shut up about R2-D2 and he’s like, “Yes, yes I’m trying to talk to your grandmother,” and I’m like, “But Dad! Dad! R2-D2!” So it’s actually an archive, but it’s become my memory.

What’s the most romantic film you’ve ever seen? Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It’s not the sexiest, but it’s the most romantic. That last scene, those last words where she goes “But you’re gonna be like this forever and I’m gonna be like this forever…” and he just goes “okay”. That to me is one of the most romantic scenes I’ve ever seen. It is a perfect movie.

And the scariest? If it’s a horror movie, the most scared I’ve been is The Ring. I was watching it on a VHS and I was lying on a beanbag on the floor and I was paralyzed with fear. I couldn’t move, because I felt that if I moved she’d see me! Also, American Psycho just came to me this year. I caught the twentieth anniversary of that movie, which is a terrifying film, and again, possibly more relevant now than when it was made. The scariest film that’s not a horror is Joker. It scared me how much I liked it. When I came out of the movie, I was like, “I’m scared because I kind of love it, but it’s horrible. It’s so irresponsible. I don’t wanna like this movie but goddamn, I feel it.” Like, I wanted to go on the streets and rage. In a way we’re all the Joker, we’re all the Batman. That duality, that yin and yang, is inside everyone of us. It’s universal.

What is the film that slays you every time, leaving you in a heap of tears? This is a classic one, the opening sequence of Up. The first ten minutes of Up just destroy me every time. I also saw Soul a couple of days ago and I was with the whole family and I, just, if I wasn’t with the whole family I would have been ugly-sobbing. I had a real ache in my throat after the movie because I was trying to stop [myself] from sobbing.

Tell me your favorite coming-of-age film, the film that first gave you ‘teenage feelings’? Pump Up the Volume. Christian Slater! Off the back of Pump Up the Volume, I fancied myself as a prophet and wrote a theater piece called Lemmings. Obviously the main character was a person who could see through the façade, and everyone else was following norms. “No one understands me, I’m a prophet!” So clearly I have this shitty, Joker-style megalomaniac inside of me. It was the worst play, and I don’t know why my teachers agreed for us to do a staging of it!

Christian Slater and Samantha Mathis in ‘Pump Up the Volume’ (1990).

Is there a film that you and your family love to rewatch? We’ve tried to impose our taste on our children, but they’re too young. We showed them The Princess Bride—they didn’t get it. We literally showed our babies Star Wars in their cribs. That’s how obsessive Star Wars fans we were.

Name a director and/or writer that you deeply admire for their use of the artform. I have a slightly weird answer for this. Can I just give love to Every Frame a Painting by Tony Zhou and Taylor Ramos? They are my film school. I was thinking of my love of Edgar Wright, but then I thought of their video essay on Edgar Wright and how to film comedy, and his essay on Jackie Chan and the rhythm of action and then their essay on the Coen Brothers and Shot Reverse Shot. I must have watched that 30 times ahead of the TV show that I’m making now. I started out in editorial and Tony Zhou is an editor and he talks about when to make the cut: it’s an instinct, it’s a feeling, it’s a rhythm. I realized the one thing in common that I could mention about all the films I’ve loved is Every Frame a Painting. It’s their love of movies that comes bubbling out of every single essay that they made that I just wanna shout out at this part of my career.

Were there any crucial films that you turned to in your development for Shadow in the Cloud? Indiana Jones was something that Chloë brought up—she likes the spiffiness and the humor of Indiana Jones. Sarah Connor was our touchstone for the female character. For one-person-in-one-space type stories, I watched Locke quite a lot, to figure out how they shaped tension and story and [kept] us on the edge of our seats when it’s only one person in one space. In terms of superheroes, I came back to Aliens. Not Alien. Aliens. You know, there are two types of people in this world—people who prefer Alien over Aliens, and people who prefer Aliens over Alien. But actually I think I vacillate for different reasons.

Can there be a third type of person, who thinks they’re both great, but Alien³, just, no? Maybe that’s the best group to be in. We don’t need to fight about this, we can love both of them! I was having an argument with James Wan’s company about this, because there’s a rift inside the company of people who prefer Alien over Aliens.

Okay, program a triple feature with your film as one of the three. I don’t know. Ask Ant Timpson!

I’ll ask Ant Timpson. [We did, and he replied: “Well, one has to be the Twilight Zone episode with William Shatner: Nightmare at 20,000 Feet. And then either Life (2017) or Altitude (2010).”]

Thank you Ant! I used to go to his all-nighters as a university student. He is the king of programming things.

Jake Gyllenhaal in ‘Life’ (2017).

It’s strange that we never met at one of his events! Ant would make me dress up in strange outfits and do weird skits between films. (For those who don’t know, Timpson ran the Incredibly Strange Film Festival for many years—now part of the New Zealand International Film Festival—and still runs an annual 24-Hour Movie Marathon.) So what’s a film from those events that sticks in your head as the perfect genre experience with a crowd? It was a movie about a man protecting a woman who was the girlfriend of a mafia boss: A Bittersweet Life. Not only does it have one of the sexiest Korean actors, sorry, not to objectify, but also I actually screenshot a lot of that film for pitch documents. And, do you remember a crazy Japanese movie where someone’s sitting on the floor with a clear umbrella and a woman is lactating milk? Visitor Q by Takashi Miike. I remember just how fucking crazy that was.

Finally, what was the best film you saw in 2020? I haven’t seen Nomadland yet, so keep in mind that I haven’t seen all the films this year. I have three: The Invisible Man, which I thought was just amazing. I thought [writer-director] Leigh Whannell did such a great job. The Half of It by Alice Wu, a quiet movie that I simply just adored. And then the last movie I saw at the cinema was Promising Young Woman. The hype is real.

Related content

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Follow Gemma on Letterboxd

‘Shadow in the Cloud’ is available in select theaters and on video on demand now.

[kichimiangra]

To celebrate Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart... I rant about things I would have done differently with the Ratchet and Clank Movie (2016)

Ratchet and Clank fans who saw the movie give it a read and tell me what you think! This isn’t solid or well written, it is seriously just a long rant of “Then they do this! Then That!”

To be fair I am a huuuge Ratchet and Clank fan, I enjoyed the film, I know it's not good, and I'm not quite sure exactly what happened here? I don't know why they tried to do a star wars esque "Save the galaxy; I wanna be a hero!" story when the games would better be described as a "Buddy Road trip".  The relationship between the titular characters is non existent because the film instead decided it was more important to cram about 3 games worth of character development into Quark instead. I like the designs for the Galactic Rangers but other than that I hate them because I am 100% sure I know why they're there and they take even more screen time that should be spent on the titular duo. This is my list of demands if I had been someone who somehow got to demand how this movie got made: -First of all, and I hate myself for saying this... *Don't Hire James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, and Jim Ward to reprise their roles as Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark respectively.* I love them, but I theorize it's their fault that the galactic rangers are even taking up space in this film. Lookit the movie poster! It list Paul Giamatti, John Goodman, Bella Thorne, and Rosario Daweson, before James and David. Jim Ward isn't mentioned in favor of Sylvestor Stallone. The whole point, (in my opinion) the Rangers were really a thing was to have a few more major characters.  John Goodman plays Grim and Sylvestor Stallone plays Von Ion. These parts are arguably smaller than Qwark or Nefarious... and I would say those two are more prominent that Clank!  But they try to get some names that will put butts in seats because UNFORTUNATELY people are stupid and many WILL go see a movie just because it has an actor they like in it. -Second... throw out the script.  Start over. *Buddy Road trip! * It's not hard.  You can't fit every planet into the film but you can fit enough for a road trip movie!  A few important ones? -Third... *CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS AND MOTIVATIONS.* I'm gonna be a bit detailed here.  First of all, NO MORE GALACTIC RANGERS PLOT! IT GOES BYE BYE!  And screw Qwark let him go back to being a frgging mid point boss!  This movie is about RATCHET and CLANK!  And you Know what they're gonna do? SOME RATCHETING and some CLANKING! And they are going to GROW AND DEVELOP TOGETHER! ---So this:  Clank gets made, gets the info on Dreks deathstar plans (But maybe we don't know that yet? Maybe we can play it Vague? Maybe we don't have Clanks whole origin story yet? That's for later...) and escapes to Veldin.  This is where he meets Ratchet.  Ratchet is building a ship to try and leave Veldin because it's a bupkiss nowhere desert planet!  Where's he going? GLAD YOU ASKED!!! He wants to go to the Blackwater City hover board tournament on planet Rilgar in which the trophy is being handed out by his celebrity hero: Captain Qwark. Why? We don't know this just yet but Ratchet is a Lombax abandoned on Veldin.  He's never even seen another Lombax, there's not a lot of them in Solana. He didn't grow up alone, but longs to find his lost family.  He thinks maybe... if he wins that Tournament, which will be Broadcasted around the galaxy and get a sponsorship with Gadgetron, being the face of the Hoverboard branch of the company for like 2 years (LEIK IN DA GAYM!) , his family will see it and they can be reunited. (hahaha no...)  Too bad Ratchet can't get his ship working without a robotic ignition (LEIK IN DA GAYM!) Clank crash lands and befriends Ratchet. Clank needs a Hero (HE'S HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO TILL THE END OF THE NIGHT!) to stop Drek and Ratchet knows just the guy!  His idol Qwark! Who he is also going to meet! At the Hoverboard tourney! So they agree to go together, Clank being able to turn the ship on and Ratchet able to pilot it.  They hop planet to planet for the first act because crap isn't going to hit the fan until they meet Qwark. So buddy road trip for a bit they help people along the way!  For example Ratchet only starts with the Wrench, but when they crash land on Novalis they meet up with Cora, who is the Presidents body guard and help her save the president (LEIK IN DA GAYMS!) and is rewarded by meeting the Plumber who fixes their crashed ship. Plumber is grateful that the Prez is safe (Maybe they related?) and gifts Ratchet the Weapon ring claiming he used to work for Gadgettron inventing all sorts of doodads, but they wouldn't put some on the market so gifts them to Ratchet, warning that the Attack ring is a little glitchy so you might not get what you want from it? So basically season 1 Ben 10's Omnitrix. Just for fun. They hop to another few places with the major take away being Clank being all like "Ratchet I am super logical and freshly baby and the galaxy is more important than the Local stuff so we gotta hurry to find Qwark!" but Ratchet is like "Sorry Clank my OCD won't allow it and we got time to kill before the tournament!"  The main point of this is Clank learning feels and empathy quickly from Ratchet and also gets to see Ratchet being a hero even if SpaceRat won't admit it.  They eventually end up on Rilgar and Ratchet enters the tourney with his home made garbage hoverboard because we are skipping the whole Skid McMarxx thing for time sake.  So Ratchet enters the hoverboard tourney, we get a cool music montage, it looks like he's gonna win! He's in first! BAM! His hoverboard craps out on him and leaves him tumbling to the pavement.  Someone passes him, he desperately tries to pull himself up, he tries to run to the finishline, more people pass him, he's in last place, he stops running. He's given up.  He screwed it up for both of them.  Now Clank won't meet and give his message to Qwark, and Ratchet won't get the sponsorship from Gadgetron that could get his face out there for his family to find him. Clank tries to cheer him up, but can only do so much.  Ratchet feels useless and defective and maybe that's why his family abandoned him? Maybe it wasn't an accident, maybe he just sucked?  But Clank knows a thing or two about being defective... so he tries to comfort Ratchet, but is interrupted when someone from the tourney approaches them and says that Captain Qwark was super impressed by Ratchets boarding skills and decided he wants to meet them. Things are looking up for the duo, but like.. you and I know Drekk told Qwark to keep an eye out fro a Lombax that's been ruining his plans and if he get's his hands on him, kill him and take Clank (LEIK STARWARS... Wait...?).  Qwark blows up Ratchets ass this whole being a hero thing so Ratchet can be known throughout the galaxy and Ratchets like "BALLER!  YEAH!  Sign me up!" and then he betrays them, I'm foggy on this part I ain't a screen writer! BUT ANYWAY Qwark can't just be blowing up his potential fans... that looks bad, so he plays along the whole "Oh yes I am Hero Qwark What is it you need from me?"  Clank then reveals his origin story of being a warbot in Drekks factory and what Drekks plans are.  This is confirmation enough and Qwark betrays the duo rips something out of Clank, leaving him robot-unconscious.  Ratchet defends Clank from Qwarks betrayal, Is it the Blargian Snagglebeast? I don't know who cares? And when he's done uses a leftover part from his broken hoverboard to fix Clank.  They have a minor Buddy fight.  Not a long one.  We don't have time for a long one we're getting close to the end here! Maybe Ratchets mad that Clank is one of Drekks warbots? Was this a trap? Clank then goes further into his backstory explaining he's a defect.  He had one purpose: to find someone to stop Drekk and give him that thingy. But Qwark made off with it. Maybe it was a virus to kill switch the deplanetizer? Who cares it was for Obiwan Kenobi and Qwark stole it. Now Clank has no purpose.  Ratchet though tells Clank that people aren't made with purposes, they find purposes and make purposes and Clank almost feels better about that level of freedom. Ratchet and Clank bond over being full of suck and how there are no real heroes out there to stop Drekk and Clank suddenly realizes that all of the traits that make a hero are right there in Ratchet!  All this movie he's watched Ratchet do hero shit and help others even if it's in a "Goddammit we're gonna miss the tournament but I have to save the orphans goddammit!" way.  They both decide that they need to be the heroes they want to see and agree to go stop Drekk themselves.They go after Drekk and have a final confrontation with Qwark and Clank retrieves his Macguffin. Then they go stop Drekk.  Clank has learned empathy and humanity, and Ratchet has got a found family in Clank.

[cruecifymesixx]

Love and Leather /part forty four/

Word Count: 4.1k

A/N: lmfao I lied. I said I’d update tomorrow but I wanted you guys to have it tonight! Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated!! And yes I know it’s not Douglas Booth! Nikki Sixx for the gif but tbh, I stopped picturing Douglas Booth as Sixx like 20 damn chapters ago sooo...you’re free to imagine which ever version you want!

Warnings: SMUT!!!! And language

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyes , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @inthebackofmycarlaytheirbodies, @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @supernaturalvikingwhore, @are-we-real, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland, @baiabouk @awesomealmostdopestudent, @martabastic, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @swoopygorl, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @malibubarbievince, @iluvmesomemarvelndc, @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer@electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @emmaelizabeth2014, @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @cranberribread, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @opalrustad, @kellysimagines, @dillightfulpickle, @marvelismylifffe

*Nikki’s POV*

My brain was scattered, I double checked everything again. I lit the candles making sure they weren’t going to catch anything on fire. I walked around the beach house I had rented just for us with baggies of fresh red and white rose petals, sprinkling them all around the floor. They began in the dining room where I had a table set for two, for just me and her.

The food wasn’t anything special though, I failed in that department. I just had Chinese takeout delivered a few minutes ago, but I got all of her favorite dishes. I walked down the hallway to the bedroom, dumping the rest of the baggie of rose petals before opening up another one. I scattered them around the bed before lighting more candles of some of her favorite scents, vanilla and honey.

I looked around the bedroom, exhaling. I hope this wasn’t overdoing it. But Christ, when did I become so damn romantic? Either the drugs blocked it off or rehab made my cold heart a little bit warmer. Vanity deserved this. She deserves to be swept off her feet. She deserves to be treated right. She deserved this more than she deserved me taking her into some grimy bathroom and bending her over the sink, she didn’t deserve what I did to other girls that didn’t mean jack shit to me. I mean, I would still gladly bend her over a bathroom sink, but I wanted to show her I loved her, respected her even. I want to show her that she means so much more to me than just being a fuck and then a fight.

I cursed under my breath when I heard the doorbell ring. I quickly tossed the bag into the trash before stopping in front of a mirror and readjusting my tie. Mick had to show me how to tie one earlier today.

*Vanity’s POV*

I pulled down my black cocktail dress as I stepped out of the rental car. Nikki had given me an address on where to go earlier today. I looked around at my surroundings. We were at some beach house, I could smell the salt in the air as well as hear the crashing of the waves against the shoreline. I walked up the path and rang the doorbell, I waited until Nikki answered.

The door unlocked and opened. I smiled at him as I held my breath. This is the most dressed down I’ve ever seen him. He was wearing a dark blue dress shirt, with sleeves rolled up to his elbows and showing off all his tattoos. He was even wearing a black tie to go with it. His hair wasn’t all over the place as it was tamed and combed through. He looked very handsome and had me in the palm of his hand already.

“Hi.” I said shyly, smiling still as he smirked down at me. He held his hand out as I gladly took it, he bent down to give me a kiss on the cheek, “Hey Princess, you look beautiful.” Nikki expressed, his eyes wandering down my body before bringing them back up to me.

“You look nice too.” I returned the compliment as he smiled cheekily. Nikki’s hand found its way to my lower back as he led me through the house and to the dining room. His presence behind me was intimidating and I was drowning in it.

I marveled over the display he had going on. There was white candles, plus his touch of black and red that were flickering in the lightly dimmed room. I looked down seeing rose petals along the floor followed by some fallen on the table.

My stomach was doing somersaults, I turned to look up at him. He was already looking down at me with a smile and his bottom lip between his teeth, “I hope this isn’t...like too much or whatever.”

Over the soft rock that was playing from somewhere and the overwhelming romance factor, I was in awe, “Nikki...I’m speechless.”

“Clearly not, if you spoke.” He teased as he let out a laugh. I playfully nudged him in the side, “I wanted it to be perfect for you, doll.” He explained as he pulled me to him, lazily wrapping his arm around my shoulder and kissing the top of my head. I breathed in the scent of his cologne as I smiled and nodded, “Well thank you, baby.” I stood up on my tip toes and pecked his lips.

Nikki gently took my hand before pulling out the chair before pushing me in when I sat down on it . Who knew Nikki Sixx could be so...so chivalrous. He sat across from me, grabbing a bottle of wine and pulling the cork out. He poured me a glass of deep red wine, more than likely it was super sweet. He had himself a water as he took a sip of it.

“I just wanted our last night together before you leave tomorrow to be special.” He says, digging through a bag filled of Chinese takeout as he pushes over two carry out containers. I opened them seeing it was orange chicken and white rice, he then tossed over a whole bunch of little packets of soy sauce. He knew me so well.

“I wish you didn’t have to go back home yet, just stay with me, I’ll be home in a month.” I took a bite as I watched him frown and pick at his kung pao chicken.

“I know, I wish I could stay too but Francisco says I leave to much, which I mean he isn’t wrong. I don’t know how many times I’ve left and came back now.” I gave him a small smile as I took a sip of the wine, “We can survive a month, it will be fine.”

“I just can’t wait to be home with you. I mean, I have the guys and everything, but it’s lonely here and the strippers are frowned upon in rehab. There’s only recovering ones.” He lightly joked as I let out a small chuckle, “Bet that was a nice sight for the eyes.” I retorted, picking at the food as he started talking again.

“They were uh, the job took a toll on them definitely. Most were cokeheads anyways.” He explained, “I can’t wait to get back home and then finish the album down there. I’m sure the fans miss us.”

I nodded, “Oh they do, trust me. After you left and everyone still thought you were dead, fans were leaving roses and candles outside the gate. I had to tell them to stop because it was starting to keep the gate from opening, I told them you would appreciate the gesture but it was becoming a little too much. Then when it came out you were still alive, I came back to your house after work and it was a fucking mad house. Doc had to send Fred over to deal with it.” I explained as he let out a laugh.

“Then your uh, drug dealers and friends and some chicks came by a lot.” I shrugged taking a rather large sip out of the glass.

He cleared his throat, “I am sorry for that. I hope they weren’t too much of a problem.” He replied, taking a sip of his water.

“It wasn’t a problem until one of the girls came into the house in the middle of the night. She scared the fuck out of me, I was sleeping. She knew where the spare key was...”

Nikki’s face scrunched up, “I’m so sorry, I guess maybe I should find a new place to live.” I shrugged, “It’s up to you. I mean, if I were you, I would. I would get out of the drug house and start somewhere fresh.” I mumbled, finishing off the glass of wine before pouring more.

“You wanna help look? The house in Van Nuys was literally the first one I saw so I bought it but I ended up hating it after a while. It’s not what I even wanted to begin with.” He explained as he watched me put the cork back in the bottle.

I pondered on the idea, “Yeah, I’ll keep a look out for medieval Gothic castles in Los Angeles.” I teased him as he chuckled.

“I wouldn’t say I’m against the idea of a castle. I just want something nice, no closets I can turn into my own little sanctuary. I’m done with that. Is the wine good?” He asked, I stopped mid sip as he pointed to the glass.

I nodded, “Yeah, it’s really good actually. Not too bitter and not too sweet.” I explained as he nodded.

“Are you done eating?” He questioned, motioning to my plate. I pushed it to the side, “Yeah, whats for dessert?”

I saw his lips turn into that arrogant smirk I love to hate, “Me.” He bluntly said, pushing his plate away from him as he leaned back into the chair.

I laughed, taking a sip of the wine again as my eyes didn’t leave his for one second, “Yeah, right. You’ve been denying my advances the whole time I’ve been here. We’re probably just gonna cuddle like we have been until you fall asleep on me.” I shook my head, rolling my eyes as I took another sip of the wine.

Nikki stared at me before that confident smirk reappeared, “Because I wanted to wait till you had to leave. I have to let you go with a good impression.” He retorted as I watched his ringed fingers loosen up his tie before they slipped down and unbuttoned his shirt half way, exposing the tattoos on his chest and a necklace he was wearing.

My heart started racing as the shit eating grin I had going on faded away. I watched as he got up from the table, my eyes not leaving his for one second as he tugged on my hand and led me to the bedroom, his grip was tight around me.

When Nikki pulled me in to the bedroom, he wrapped his hand around the nape of my neck before crashing his lips onto mine. I groaned when my back hit the door. He held me close to him, the kiss was deep and it was hungry. Hungry for me, hungry for him.

His hand traveled from my neck down to my back, pushing me against him as I felt his fingers pull the zipper down. My hand tugged at the shirt that was tucked into his tight leather pants. He broke the kiss as his lips trailed down to my shoulder when he pushed the straps off of me, letting the dress hit the floor. He exhaled deeply when he saw that I wasn’t wearing any panties.

He raised an eyebrow as his gaze met mine, “I forgot?” I laughed nervously as he smiled. I chewed on my bottom lip, “Kiss me again.” I said, grabbing him by his belt buckle and pulling him towards me. He obliged as my hands cupped his jaw and as his arms wrapped around my waist. Without breaking the kiss he walked us over to the bed, laughing as he fell on top of me.

His lips soon found their way to my neck and chest as I quickly unbuttoned the rest of his shirt before pushing it off his shoulders. The tie was still wrapped around his neck, I gently tugged on it to bring his lips to meet mine once more. He propped himself up as he looked into my eyes, “I love you, Vanity.”

I smoothed his hair out, nails running over the shaved sides, “I love you too, Nikki.” He smiled before he lowered his lips to my neck, hands wandering down my body. He reached underneath me, skillfully unclasping my bra and pulling it off my skin.

Nikki was quick to lower himself, placing light bites as he moved his way down south. He pushed my legs apart more before grazing his teeth against my hips. I watched intently as I chewed on my bottom lip, trying to close my legs as he nipped and sucked at my inner thighs.

He suddenly flicked his tongue across my clit, groaning as he started making figure eights. I let out a breathy moan as he dived between the folds, his hands gripping my hips to keep me from moving.

He brought his hand in between my legs, his thumb brushing over my clit as he continued pleasuring me with his mouth.

He teased my entrance with his fingers before slipping one inside slowly before pulling it out again, “Nikki...” I moaned quietly, closing my eyes as he readjusted himself: laying flat on his stomach with my legs draped over his shoulders. His hands came up and gently cupped and kneaded my breasts.

He slowly inched a finger inside of my core, his moans sending vibrations through me as he started to curl his finger inside, before quickly adding another one, his tongue still lapping at my clit feverishly.

“God, Nikki.” I moaned, roughly tugging on his hair with one hand while the other gripped the bed sheets. Nikki licked his lips as he looked up at me, gently pressing a kiss against the wet skin as he leaned back on his knees, still deeply fingering me as his thumb rubbed deep circles into my clit.

His fingers sped up, curling against my sweet spot as I reached for his wrist, “I-I’m gonna cum..” I moaned out, hips starting to grind into his hand as he chuckled. Nikki crawled on top of me, hand still in between my thighs as he placed his lips on mine. I groaned into his kiss, tasting myself on his tongue. I broke the kiss, gently nipping his bottom lip as I felt myself tighten around his fingers, “That’s it good girl, show me how much you missed me.” Nikki praised, seeing that arrogant smirk as I closed my eyes shut, choking on my own moans and breath as I felt myself release around his fingers.

My moans became louder when Nikki wouldn’t stop, pushing me over the edge once more. He gripped my hips, making me stay pinned to the bed as I cried out for him, “Fuck! Nikki!!” I reached for his hand, he slowly pulled out as I felt empty and needing more.

I watched him as he sucked his glistening fingers dry. He sighed in contempt as he watched me sit on my knees in front of him, “So god damn beautiful.” He moaned, pressing a soft kiss on me. My fingers trembled as I reached for his belt buckle, quickly undoing it as I pulled his pants down slightly, exposing the red lips that were tattooed on his hip before he stopped me.

“As much as I love your lips wrapped around my dick, I’m gonna pass for right now.” He said, gently pushing me down on my back again. I watched him tug his pants off, his hard member springing up at full attention. I placed my hand on his chest, nails clawing down as he rested in between my legs.

He reached over to the nightstand, opening it up as he pulled out a condom. His hips jerked forward when I lightly tugged on his cock, thumb brushing over the tip. He quickly smacked my hand away as he rolled the condom onto him.

“I just wanna feel you.” He mumbled, lowering his head down to the side of my neck, gently dragging his teeth down the side before kissing my shoulder.

Nikki’s eyes stayed locked on mine when he entered inside of me slowly. My lips gaped open, head being thrown back as he kissed my chin.

Nikki’s thrusts were slow into me as he whispered sweet words into my ear, “I love you so god damn much.” He kisses below my ear, “You’re my whole world, Van. You’re all I want and need.” He kissed the side of my temple.

“You’re-“ I interrupted, “Are you making love to me, Sixx?” I asked, giggling underneath him as I rubbed the back of his shoulders.

He smiled, pecking my lips, “If you could shut the fuck up for once maybe I can.” He retorted, shaking his head as he looked down at what he was doing.

“I don’t have too, though. I may be sober but...” he stopped talking, immediately wrapping his hand around my throat as I let out a sigh, “But I’m still as sleazy as before.”

I brought my bottom lip in between his teeth as he tightened his grip around my neck, only for him to give me deep and hard thrusts. He let go of my throat before pressing his lips against mine as he continued his movements, filling me up to the brim of explosion.

Nikki reached for my legs, throwing them over his shoulders as he gave me every inch of himself. By the look on his face, I could tell he was enjoying every moment of this, which I mean, Why wouldn’t he? Everything was in perfect view. He watched his cock slide in and out of me with ease as he grabbed one of my tits. His free hand massaging the sensitive bud as I felt myself tighten around him. Hot white emotions flashing over me as I held my breath.

“Nikki, don’t stop. Oh my god.” I moaned out, feeling myself cum around him. He grunted, his hips not stuttering for one moment as he threw his head back in pleasure.

“So warm...so fucking wet for me. Fuck.” Nikki moaned before wrapping his arms around my back, rolling us over so I was on top of him.

My hips skillfully grinded against his, making myself take all of him as I rested my hands on his chest, nails digging into him as he began forcing his hips up to meet mine.

He placed a well timed slap against my ass, causing me to puncture him with my nails even more. He grimaced before smiling, taking my hands into his as he held them at my hips.

“Fuck, Van!” Nikki groaned, tilting his head back as I leaned over and peppered kisses down his neck and chest, his moans vibrating onto my lips.

“On your fucking knees, now.” I bit my lip, getting off of him. There’s the vile and sleazy Nikki I knew.

“You got the sweetest little pussy, Y’know that?” He groaned, lining up his hard member with my core as he gently rubbed against my clit before slowly pushing inside of me, moans simultaneously erupting from the both of us.

“All mine, all of you.” He moaned, placing his hands on my hips, gripping tightly as he trailed his lips down up my back before roughly biting the top of my shoulder.

He freed one of his hands, wrapping it into my hair as he yanked me up against his chest, my hands resting against his sides, “You still belong to me, even after all this god damn time. Always have and always will be mine, understand?” He grumbled, with lips placed against my ear. His thrusts inside of me didn’t subside for one second.

I nodded my head, wincing as the grip on my hair became tighter, “I’m-im yours.” I said quietly, placing my hands on his forearm that was wrapped around my waist.

“Are you now? Because I don’t believe you. Could you repeat that for me, darling?” He said, his hand letting go of my hair and wrapping around the front of my neck once more as he thrusted into me hard, almost to the point where it hurt but the pleasure it gave me was more rewarding.

“Fuck! I’m yours Nikki! I’m yours!”

I saw that smile out of the corner of my eye. He relaxed his grip around my body as he continued the merciless thrusting into me. His hand came in between my legs, rubbing deep circles against my clit.

I moaned his name, arching my hips up to his. I closed my eyes tightly, feeling the overwhelming rush of ecstasy that was tipping over the edge, “Nikki, I’m so close.”

He pulled out of me, yanking me down to the bed as I was on my back. I looked up at him, my hand going in between my legs as he smiled at me. Nikki crawled on top of me, quickly situating himself inside and kissing me deeply as I moaned into his mouth. He broke the kiss as he watched what was going on between my thighs.

“God damnit...” He groaned, trailing his lips down my chest before they connected with my tits, his mouth going back and forth between them before he kissed me again, “So fucking perfect, Van.” He panted into my ear as he started speeding up, his fingers now toying with my clit once more.

My lips parted as I dug my nails into his back when he gripped my thighs so he could fuck me deeper. I placed soft kisses and a rough bite against his neck.

“C’mon, Princess. Cum for me, let me know how good I make you feel.” He breathed into my neck, and right on queue I felt myself release around his cock, “Nikki!!” I cried out as he groaned loudly, his thrusts began to get sloppy as I felt his release right after mine like clock work. He stayed inside of me, riding out both of our orgasms. He moved his lips slowly against mine, my hands sprawled out over his back that was covered in a thin layer of sweat. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to me. He moaned into the kiss, moving strands of my hair out of his way.

I gently nipped the bottom of his lip, resulting him to tug on my hair, tilting my head back as he kissed down my neck then back up to my lips. I felt him leave my over stimulated heat, but he still stayed in between my legs. He rested his head against my chest as he laid down on top of me. His fingers dancing over my collar bone as I raked my nails through his jet black hair.

“I love you, Nikki.” I told him, as he perched himself up, hands on either side of my head, “I love you too, doll. So damn much.” He pecked my lips before finally leaving the bed and left the room.

“Fuck.” I laughed at myself, pushing my hair out of my face as I sat up in the bed. He came back in, now wearing a pair of black Calvin Klein boxer briefs.

He walked over to his dresser, pulling out a Girls, Girls, Girls shirt and handing it to me. I slipped it on, pulling down the covers for us as we both laid underneath him.

He laid on his stomach, wrapping an arm around my waist as he had his head turned towards me, “Van, do you really have to go tomorrow? Just stay with me and we’ll go home in a month.”

I relaxed under his touch as I turned my head to him, “I wish I could stay too but Francisco will put my head on a chopping block.” I chuckled as he did too.

“I still don’t get why you have to work, you have a fuck load of money, and I do too.” I scrunched up my eyebrows, “What’s that suppose to mean?” I said, poking his cheek as he smiled with closed eyes.

“You don’t gotta work if we’re together, you have money and I have money so you’ll be taken care of.” He explained as I let out a laugh.

“Good joke, sixx.” I rolled my eyes as I felt him kiss the side of my arm, “I work so I won’t be bored. I like working.”

It was his turn to laugh, “Nobody truly likes working. I’m just saying doll, if you didn’t want to work anymore , it’d be cool with me. You could go on every tour.”

I shook my head, “let’s...let’s play it by ear, okay?” I said, sinking into the bed as I moved closer to him, my finger tips running up and down his bare arm compared to the other one that was decked out in multiple colors.

“Sorry, I’m not meaning to jump the gun. I’m just..I’m just excited we’re together.” I smiled wide at his words.

“We’re gonna have so much fun, you and I.” I whispered, pressing my lips to his as I felt his form a smile into the kiss.

“Just Vanity and Nikki.”