#I want it to be summer already please I wanna get the motivation to continue the story sobs

[askamnesiamoonjumper]

Executive disfunction and a!au brainrot both hitting me at the same time rn

[harryskalechips]

one and done

A/N Hi everyone! I’m back with a one shot :) I know I don’t write as often anymore but since I’m self quarantining and I’m just about finish with high school, I thought I should try and give it another go? I’m also re starting up my jewellery business so ahhh many goals in mind but no motivation ??? Okay, I hope you guys enjoy this one!!! It is definitely a slow burn with smut but part 2? I dunno!!

Y/N and her brother’s best friend Harry, has had some pent up sexual frustration for a while. Wouldn’t it be best if they just had a one and done? you know to get it out of their system ;) 

*smut includes spanking, choking, male and female receives oral, harry dom but Y/N rides, magic face cream treatment for anti wrinkling results? Yes, and what else? sub space, hair pulling, gosh I forgot please read it 😁

Word Count: 6.1k // Masterlist // one and done PLAYLIST

“Don’t you think it's a bit of a cliché to be crushing on your brother’s best friend?” Ness teases Y/N as they walk out of her house. They were just on the steps about to go on a walk around the block. It was definitely one of their favourite things to do as the sun was just about to set.

Y/N had her butt sat on the spruced wooden steps as she ignored her best friend’s comment. First off, she knew it was a cliché. Secondly, her last encounter with him just seconds ago was already making her plan her own execution.

In her head, it was simply her just jumping out of her window multiple times until she lost consciousness. Ness on the other hand was standing up, watching the poor girl tie her laces. “Okay, I was just teasing. We can change the topic.” She lends her hand out for Y/N to take.

“It’s not just that Ness.” She gladly accepts the gesture and stands up. She wipes off her butt and glances back at the door. “I’ve never had a thing for him! Ryan and Harry have been best mates since what? 8th grade and for some reason ever since the cruise from last summer, I can’t stop thinking about him.”

“It’s because he was shirtless half of the time.” Ness laughs as she hands Y/N’s water bottle to her. “Okay, we can admit it though. As a senior he is 10 times more attractive than he ever was. He looks like a frat boy that could jump my bones.”  Y/N stops walking and just stares at Ness while the girl continues to walk. She grabs her hand and pulls her forward. “Okay, I’m sorry for the bad comment.”

“He is hot though. Really hot.” Y/N smiles.

“See, that’s why you should sleep with him.”

“What are you crazy? Ness, Ryan would kill me or him -maybe the both of us!” 

“It’s pent up sexual frustration. Harry legit watched us walk out your door while eating a banana and you still managed to trip on your shoes.” She laughs.

“He was making eye contact with me!”

“All I’m saying is that he throws parties at his house and always invites us despite y’know us being juniors. Just offer, do it, slip out, and never say anything about it ever again.” Ness elbows Y/N as she crosses her arms. 

“Maybe I will.” She laughs pretending to actually sound confident in the idea.

“Good, there’s a party this Friday anyway.” Ness shrugs her shoulders. “It’s the best remedy sis.”

~

“Harry, can we talk?” Y/N follows him into the kitchen while everyone else is God knows where around the house. 

“Ryan is in the backyard, trying to get Cassidy back.” He barely glances at her as he pours himself a drink. He notices an empty one in her hand so he decides to pour coke in hers. 

“I um wasn’t really drinking coke.” She states confusedly as she watches the bubbles in her cup dissolve.

“You think I’m trying to get you drunk at this party. One alcoholic beverage is good enough for yeh.” He smiles at her as he screws the cap shut and taps the top of her head. He was treating her as if she was a child, which definitely pissed her off since she was going to ask him a really fucked up favour in the matter of 60 seconds.

“I can handle myself, you know.” 

“Yup.” He rests his back against the counter and bites the rim of the plastic cup as he looks at her. “What do you need though?” He genuinely asks her. Although they weren’t that close, Harry knew her long enough to know she wouldn’t start random a conversation with him. It was more like a hi and bye situation. Not her trying to actually talk to him. 

“I have a favour and you can’t tell Ryan.” Y/N lets out a big breath as she watches his reaction change into a confused one. 

“Look Y/N, if you want to try and smoke a blunt, I think it’s best you find yourself a dealer that doesn’t know your brother.”

“No, not that.” She whispers as she moves in closer. There were more people entering the kitchen and this was about to get really fucking awkward. 

“What?” He looks at her and notices her body shifting closer to him. Her chest was touching the side of his arm, making his eyes look towards the cabinets instead.

“I-”

“Yes?”

“Do you wanna fu-?” His eyes widen as he downs the rest of his drink in one go. Harry doesn’t even let her continue as he steps away from Ryan’s little sister. 

“I’m sorry do I already know the rest of that question?” He tries not to obviously choke on the liquid in his mouth.

“Well, I don’t know you didn’t really let me finish.”  Her sassy tone comes out. Her cheeks were really red and although Y/N came to the party with Ness feeling really confident in the dress she picked. She just wanted to go home and not show her face to him ever again. This was the stupidest idea! Why on earth did she think Harry would want to sleep with her when there are so many girls that try to get his attention. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” He bites the inside of his cheek and watches some familiar people leave the room. Once it’s clear again, he speaks up. “Like are you serious?” He could feel his throat becoming more stuffy. “You and me?” She nods. “Really?” She nods again. “That’s crossing the line and Ryan is pretty overprotective. I can’t do that to him.”

“Cool.” Y/N stands perfectly still as she tries her best to maintain eye contact with him. She takes a sip of the coke but later, grabs the bottle of alcohol and pours it into her cup regardless of him watching her. “Well, don’t let Ryan know.” She shrugs her shoulders and laughs. “Thanks for answering my survey!” She gives him an awkward smile then walks out of the room. How can a guy pass up on her??? First rejection has gotta sting. 

This wasn’t some weird guy she was asking though. This was Harry, Ryan’s best friend. If Ness was put in his position, she wouldn’t want her to say yes either. God, she was also going to kill her best friend for putting the most ridiculous game plan in her head.

And although the party continued on, Ness and Y/N didn’t let the earlier events bother them. The two spent hours just fucking around until they found a comfy spot in the living room.

“Y/N, don’t look.” Ness sits beside her on Harry’s couch watching a few strangers play an unfamiliar game on the floor. 

“What?” she quickly looks up to see what Ness is talking about. It wasn’t a surprise to see Harry holding Carla Laws’s hand as they walked up the stairs. They looked pretty excited for a room tour too.

Oh hell no, everyone knows a girl doesn’t go to Harry Styles’ room to just hold hands and a cute sentimental room tour!

“Are you sure he didn’t want to with you?”

“Yes Nessa.” She rolls her eyes and drinks her third cup. “Whatever, if anything at least I don’t feel attracted to him anymore. I found a new ick. He doesn’t even find me attractive.”

“Good. Rejection may hurt but it makes you wake up and face reality.” 

~

Okay if there was one thing Y/N could say now, it was that she is finally over Harry. Overall, he was nothing but a phase. Yes, she was crushing on him for the first semester of the year but after that weird conversation they had, it made sense why they couldn’t work out anyway. He’s a stuck up douche - a typical senior, all while she was a junior who was either too infatuated with him or too horny. Maybe both?

It’s been about two weeks and although Ness made sure to keep trash talking the guy, Y/N knew there was more to him than what her best friend thought. She knew him for years! Maybe the fact he was athletic, charismatic and just kind that made her realize what a perfect guy he was. She knew he was a bit more complex than what other people thought of him and it wasn’t bad at all. 

What she never thought was how awkward it was going to be the next time she saw him. “Hey, Haz.” Ryan opens the door for his buddy as Y/N covers herself with the blanket more all while pretending to watch TV.

For the past couple of days, Ryan was going over to his house and maybe Harry asked him too to come over, but what she didn’t expect was to see him again so soon. 

“Hey Ryan.” Harry takes his jacket and boots off as it just begun to snow outside. “Hey Y/N.” She quickly glances at him and waves. 

“Let’s go to the kitchen first, I wanna get snacks.” Ryan suggests as he walks away, assuming Harry would follow him like usual. 

After thirty minutes, Y/N thought the boys would be upstairs but as she entered the kitchen wearing nothing but her shorts and her brother’s old t-shirt, she was surprised to see Harry and Ryan eating sandwiches at the breakfast bar, looking pretty serious. Did Harry tell him? 

As she walked closer, she noticed both boys were just on their phones, scrolling through different social media platforms. She quickly brushes past them to put her dish in the sink. Ryan seemed unbothered but she could definitely feel Harry’s eyes on her. Once she makes eye contact with him, he quickly takes a sip of his juice and looks at his phone once more. “Y/N can you grab the chips in the cabinet please?” Ryan looks up at his phone and notices his sister was standing right in front of the cupboard. 

“Yeah, no problem.” She turns her back on them and opens the cabinet. She goes on her tiptoes reaching for the only bag of chips. Once she grabs them, she puts them on the counter and walks out of the room, only hearing her brother murmur a thank you. 

It was about 6:30 PM and the parents weren’t home yet. Ryan and Harry decided to chill in the living room when the doorbell rang. Pausing the game, Ryan opened the door to see Tom standing in front of him. “Y/N it’s for you!” He calls out for his sister since he knew Tom was her friend.

“Who’s that?” Harry mouthed.

“Her boyfriend.” Ryan shrugs as he unpauses the game. 

“Tom? What are you doing here?” Y/N walks down the stairs, pulling her shirt down. 

“Vanessa told me to come by. Apparently you need help with the calculus homework? I’m free tonight anyway.” He smiles and gives her a hug. Tom was a really good friend of Ness and Y/N. He was a smart boy that was really kind and obviously had a big crush on Nessa. There was anything he could do for her. 

Y/N instantly bit her cheek and laughed as she remembered Ness’ text message a couple of hours ago when she told her Harry came by. This was definitely one of Ness’ master plans. “You’re so sweet.” She pulls away and laughs. “We can go upstairs, I have a few questions to ask.” She quickly glances at her brother who doesn’t care all while Harry tried his best to maintain his eyes on the screen. 

“Y/N, Put some shorts on!”  Ryan finally yells out as the two went up the stairs. 

~ 

“I don’t get why he throws parties every weekend.” Ness takes a sip of her drink as they sit inside Harry's dining room. They probably weren’t going to stay too long. Everyone was inside due to the cold weather with the occasional smokers outside. Being the only few juniors, there wasn’t much the girls could do other than loiter around, drink a few cups and play the games they knew so well. Y/N wasn’t the type to have random hook ups but you know her exception with Harry. 

“Gemma has gone off for college and Anne is always working really late shifts at the hospital. He’s pretty much anywhere and everywhere besides his house unless it’s a party.”

“True.” 

“I’m going to say bye to my brother then we can head back to mine if you want?” Y/N offers as Nessa nods and downs her drink. 

“I’m going to drink a cup of water. Meet you at the front?”

“Mhm.” They both stand up and leave the room. Nessa was heading straight to the kitchen while Y/N began to wander around the house. 

“Y/N.” Harry calls out her name over the music. He was wearing a while long sleeved shirt that was unbuttoned. It made him look really attractive which almost made Y/N lose her breath. 

“Hey Harry, You know where Ryan is?” The only typical thing she would ever ask him before that one time. (Pretending as if she didn’t sexually harass him last time.) 

“He’s downstairs with the rest of the boys.” He glances around at everyone and looks at her once more. “I’m sorry, are you um- leaving?”

“Yeah me and Nessa are going to call it a night.” She wraps her hoodie around her figure and tries to make her way to the stairs. 

“Want me to give you girls a ride?”

“No no, it’s okay!” She smiles and waves her hand at him. “Nessa drove. You also have a party to h-”

“It’s kind of late maybe she should head home and we can-” And that’s when it hit her. Was Harry Styles trying to isolate her? 

“Oh.” She widens her eyes and slowly nods. “Okay. I’ll let my brother and Ness know. Should I meet you in your car outside?”

“Yeah.” He runs his hand through his hair and quickly leaves her side. After bidding her farewell to Ryan and explaining her interpretation of Harry to Ness, she was  quietly leaving the house as she watched Nessa walk by herself to the car down the street. What surprised Y/N more was to see him in his brown jacket standing by the passenger door. 

“Did you tell Ryan I was dropping you off?” He  nervously smiles as he opens the door for her. He makes sure no one is watching them leave together as he feels the butterflies forming in his stomach. 

“No.” She puts her hood on and sits in his car. She was picking on her stockings trying to avoid the awkward tension between them. Once Harry sat inside and they both put their seatbelts on, they were on their way to her house. It was weird knowing she was actually leaving a party with her brother’s best friend so she could suck his- 

 “What happens if they notice you’re gone?”

“Um, I’m sure they’ll think i'm elsewhere doing stuff.” She knew what he was thinking about and that made her a bit uncomfortable but it didn’t change the fact it was true.

“Are you still down to y’know?” Harry honestly never thought he would be this nervous talking to Ryan’s little sister. 

“Yeah.” She bites her lip as they glance at each other. 

“Cool. Are you like a virgin or something. I mean is there anything that I should know about?”

“No.” She shakes her head and low-key observes how he drives. 

This was going to be one hell of a night. 

Harry has seen Y/N’s room a countless number of times but to actually be with her by themselves in Ryan’s house made him feel really guilty. That guilt however, was shoved in the back of his throat. The girl in the room with his was obviously the best distraction. “I like your room.” he smirks at her as he looks at her soccer trophy collection from grade school. 

“Thanks.” She laughs lightly as she takes off her jacket. She quickly texts an update to Ness before putting the phone on do not disturb. 

“So before we start, what made you ask the offer?” He takes his jacket off and throws it on her chair. He sits on her bed and glances at the time. It was still early, so people probably weren’t going to be looking for him. 

“This is going to sound really dumb but I’ve had this crush on you since the cruise last summer. Well, you know Nessa... she had this thought and she thinks it is just pent up sexual frustration?” She shakes her head of saying the whole idea out loud. “So I thought maybe I should just get it out of my system.” Harry laughs as he takes in of what she just said. it made her smile as well.

“You were checking me out all summer?” He asks her in disbelief. “Little Y/N wanted to jump my bones?” He started to smirk at her. Although they didn’t know each other too well, the awkward tension was gone with just one simple laugh of his. 

“Stop laughing.” She throws a pillow at him. “I didn’t think you would say no.”

“I didn’t want to say no Y/N are you crazy? I’m laughing because I kept checking you out in those tiny bikinis you used to wear.” He throws the pillow to the side and shakes his head. “I don’t want to cross Ryan like that but I think i need to get you out of my system too.”

“Mhm and why’s that?” She locks her door and sits on the bed with him. “Because Carla couldn’t distract me from seeing you in my sheets.” He leans in and kisses her. “Tom coming by a few days ago with you wearing nothing but those little shorts was already making me lose my mind.” He whispers and kisses her again. 

Y/N immediately sits on his lap while trying her best to keep his mouth on her’s. Everything about this was so hot. She was about to just rip his clothes off. 

“One and done yeah?” Y/N rubs herself on him as her fingers tangle themselves in his hair. He kisses down her neck while grabbing her ass. 

“One and done. Just to get you out of my system.” He confirms with her as he gently throws her on the bed. He’s pulling his long sleeve off and taking his shirt off but once he begins unbuckling his jeans, he couldn’t help but notice Y/N trying to take her shirt off as well. “Fuck.” He murmurs as he gently unbuttons her long sleeve to help her take it off. In a flash, he’s on his knees unzipping her skirt and taking her stockings off as well. “You looked really pretty tonight by the way.” His cheeks flush as he throws her bottoms behind his back. Y/N laughs quietly and she sits up and brings his face closer to hers. 

“I actually would like to say the same exact thing.” He leans in to kiss her once more. Her lips were extremely soft and forbidden and it was making him slowly lose his mind all over again. Y/N thought Harry was just a phase but that seemed impossible as she was already dreading the fact this was a one and done situation. 

“You’re just so fucking soft and alluring.” He whispers in her ear as he unclasped her bra. “I already know I need to fuck you hard.” Y/N eyes’ roll back as she feels his wet mouth on her nipple as the other one massaged the other. Her hands were trying really hard to focus on the task at hand which was to undo his pants but it was definitely not working with the way he was distracting her. Not a single thought could process in her mind.

“I think since this is a one and done situation, you better make this memorable.” She whispers and bites her lip as she tries to hold back a moan. His fingers were teasing her covered entrance but Harry could feel her drenched spot already clenching at his presence. 

“Memorable? I’ll definitely leave my mark on you.” He sucks on her mouth more roughly than usual as he rubs his fingers on her centre. “You wanted me so bad baby? You just had to beg me huh?” He gestures his hips more forward to help her with his pants. 

“I’m kind of new to this. Be a bit patient.” Y/N laughs as she gently unzips his pants after numerous attempts.  

“You just ruined the moment.” He laughs with her as he kisses her forehead and takes his pants off as well. “Just kidding, this is probably the most fun I had.” He hovers over her again and teases her entrance. 

“What do you mean?” She lays on her back and roams her hands all over his chest. 

“Never got the chance to tease the fuck out of a pretty girl then fuck her hard.” He slaps her clit and bites down on her lip. She suddenly lets out a moan that makes her eyes flutter and her chest rise closer up to his face. 

He brings two of his fingers to her mouth and slowly lets her lick on it before rimming her entrance and shoving it in without any warning. His thumb slowly rubs her swollen numb as he can’t help but rub himself on her sheets as well. “You mind if I get a little bit of a taste? I’ve been dying to know. I saw you earlier at the party and I had to jerk myself off seeing you in those little stockings of yours.” 

“You. You jerked yourself off thinking about me, baby?” She looks down at him and smiles softly. He gives her a little smirk before pulling his hand away and heading his head down a bit south. His tongue dips slowly on the left side of her leg as his hands grip her thighs tightly, sure of the bruises to form soon.

“You’re like a fucking wet dream. How can I say no to you?” He urgently swipes his whole tongue on her centre. “I saw you earlier and had to go to my room.” He takes another lick. “Fuck baby, the best i’ve fucking tasted. Fuck oh fuck.” He precisely observes the way your whole swallows his fingers in and clench so tightly around him. His tongue dipping and switching with his fingers because he honestly can’t decide which is best. 

“Harry, fuck me please baby.” Y/N moans loudly as she harshly grabs on her boobs. She’s never been fucked this good. It was honestly feeling like a dream. With that being said, she’s only had sex a handful of times but Harry seemed like such an expert in the field. “Oh God.” She tries to pull away. She wasn’t sure if she could continue on with Harry obsessively licking and sucking on her wet centre. 

He looks up and watches her eyes roll back as her fingers begin to pull on his head aggressively. His only reflex is to spread her legs wider. After her first orgasm, Y/N lays on her back staring at her ceiling trying to catch her breath. 

“Fuck me.”

“We aren’t done yet, love.” He laughs at her cuteness. He can’t remember the last time where he wasn’t rushing to finish himself off. He was taking his time with Y/N since it’s what she deserves. He lays down beside her and kisses down her chest. “Tell me when you’re ready to go, yeah?” He dips his tongue on her shoulder until it reaches the huge hickey he left on her collarbone. He gently licks around it and sucks on it again. 

He was a bit surprised to see Y/N sit up and grab a condom from her drawer. “Thank you for fucking the shit out of me, I’ll gladly return the favour.” She smiles and tucks her hair behind her ear as she focuses on putting the contraceptive on him. Just touching it was already forming butterflies in her stomach. 

“I could’ve been fucking you on that cruise.” he mischievously smiles at her as he watches the way her pretty tits move. 

“You were sharing a room with my brother.” She hisses as she holds onto his shaft trying to gently ease the pain as she fully sits on him. 

“But you were alone.” He grabs onto her waist and helps her. “You’re so beautiful fuck.” He sits up on her headboard as her palms rest on his chest. Both of their eyes couldn’t help but watch the way he was easily penetrating her. 

“Was touching myself because of you.” She mumbles out as her speed begins to increase.

“What did you say baby?” He almost chokes on his breath as he can feel her fully taking him in. 

“Couldn’t stop thinking of you on that cruise. I needed you to rail the fuck out of me.” She moans louder as she starts to feel his hips meet her. 

“Fuck me. So perfect, Shit.” He quickly turns them around and shoves himself back into her. His hand immediately tightens around her neck and once he is about to pull it away, she keeps his hand on her. 

“Fuck me harder.” She cries out as his arm begins to push her legs up. He spits in between their centres before thrusting as hard as he can. All you could hear was her headboard banging against the wall as his hand continuously choked the fuck out of her. 

“I bet you like getting spanked too huh?” He bites his lip and semi turns her body before slapping her ass. 

“Harry fuck.”

“Come on, baby. Be a good girl and come around my cock.”

“Fuck fuck fuck.” Y/N cries out as her fingernails scratch his back. “Come in my mouth. I want to taste you so bad please.” tears begin to form in her eyes as she continues to clench around his dick. Harry immediately pulls off the condom and helps her sit up on her knees. She absolutely could not feel a thing below her stomach but with Harry’s hard cock in her mouth, she was already closing her eyes and trusting him with everything she was. She’s never been this fucking vulnerable, she was literally about to pass the fuck out. 

She was softly holding onto his thighs but her hands found comfort on his waist as he began to fuck her mouth harder. Harry on the other hand, kept his eyes on how her mouth was taking him in. He watched the way his fingers wrap around her hair tightly as he brought his hips closer and closer until he could feel her gagging on his dick. Without a warning, he immediately pulls out and spills all over her face.

“Why’d you do that?” She opens her eyes and pouts. She was pretty upset how she couldn’t taste him spill into her mouth. So her finger immediately takes a swipe of his spill and puts it in her mouth. Without hesitation, she’s taking his forming soft dick in her hands before softly licking it clean and softly sucking on his balls. She takes his shaft and swipes her cheek once more before licking the rest of his spill from his shaft. 

“You’re going to make me hard again if you keep doing that baby. Might not be as nice as I was this time.” 

“Maybe I want another round?” She gestures him to lie down as she continues to kiss and suck on his cock. 

“Thought it was a one and done.” He softly smiles as he removes some of the hair from her face.

“How about a one and done night?”

“Deal.”

And although they thought this was crossing a line, they already knew the moment their lips touched, they wouldn’t be able to stop.

~

“Wait so he changed his mind!” Nessa laughs as they drive back home. “Bitch how are you at school today? I literally saw you limping at lunch.”

“Shut up.” Y/N mouth widens as she rubs her face. “I don’t know what happened okay? We said one and done but we honestly went a couple of rounds before I had to wake him up so he could drive back home.”

“But is he out of your system? Don’t get me wrong Harry’s a fine guy but like dating wise? He’s been with other girls but somehow always goes back to Carla. They’ve been like that before you and Ryan moved here.” 

“Yeah, he’s out of my system.” Y/N laughs but truth be told, some nights when she can’t sleep, she’ll find herself staring at the ceiling. 

“Why are you guys home so early?” Nessa asks once they step inside the house. There was a good comparison between Nessa and Ryan with Y/N and Harry. First off, Nessa literally saw Ryan as her older brother which meant they were pretty vocal towards each other. Secondly, Nessa was very comfortable at Y/N’s house almost as if this was her second home. 

“Carla and Cassidy are coming over.” Ryan smirks as Harry cleans the living room behind him. “During the party last night, I may have asked if they wanted to come over for a double date game night thing. Mom and Dad are cool with it since it's a Monday which is their date night too.

“Oh have fun.” Y/N buds in and laughs. “Make sure to actually vacuum please. You don’t want the girls finding your crumbs on the carpet.” She takes her jacket off as Nessa follows behind her up the stairs. Harry obviously tried to ignore the fact, she bluntly ignored him. 

“Double date? Damn, you guys really did just fuck and brushed it under the carpet.”

“It meant nothing right. So?” Y/N tries to brush off the topic as she sets her backpack down. “Why won’t you sit down?” “On that bed?” Nessa smiles awkwardly as she glances at the double bed near the wall. 

“I changed the sheets.” Y/N takes her shirt off and replaces it with another loose top. She unzips her pants and wears her black tights instead.

“So should we invite ourselves to their double date?” Nessa raises her eyebrows as she lays down on the bed. 

“No because it’s weird and I don’t want Harry to think I’m jealous.”

“I think you are.”

“Nope, I told you I don’t like him like that anymore and he’s out of my system.” She tries to ignore the fact, how she swallowed him without hesitation.

“Okay but wouldn’t it be better to prove to yourself you are just by being around him.” And although Y/N wanted to protest that, the two best friends ended up being invited by Ryan to play downstairs anyway. 

“You girls want a refill?” Ryan sits up from the coffee table as he cleans up the empty red cups. Ness, Carla, and Cassidy wanted a new one which made Y/N go help her brother out in the kitchen. 

“Are you having fun?” Ryan asks as he throws the cups in the recycling. Y/N pours the preferred drinks in the new cups as she looks up at her brother. 

“Yeah, I was wondering why you invited Ness and I. Don’t you think we’re cock-blocking?”

“Harry suggested you guys hang out with us while we played games. More competition is fun y’know. Plus you and Nessa can leave whenever.”

“Oh cool. Thanks, I guess?” 

“Yup.” He grabs two cups as she does. She couldn’t help but notice how Ryan suddenly started cheering. “Yeah, Styles get it! Woooo!” Y/N turns her eyes to notice Harry and Carla making out on the floor by the coffee table. 

“Are you guys dating again?” Cassidy laughs as she tries not to watch them make out.

“Sure.” Carla pulls away and pecks his cheek. Nerissa was just watching Y/N’s reaction and she knew it was a bad one. 

“Y/N could you walk me to the car? Appa just texted me and he’s wondering where I am. I forgot it was his birthday.” Nessa speaks up.

“Oh shit.” Y/N was clueless of her excuse. Which thankfully made her seem more genuinely in a rush to get out of the room. She sets the drinks on the table before going upstairs with Ness.

“How did you forget it was Appa’s birthday, Ness?” 

“I don’t know.” She packs her things up. “Why don’t you come with me? He’s gonna blow his cake soon.”

“Oh, I don’t want-”

“Come.” And if there was one thing Y/N knew well about Nessa, it was that she wouldn’t ever forget it was Appa’s birthday, especially if she just celebrated it a couple of months ago. Without a fight to say no, Y/N immediately grabs a hoodie as they walk down the stairs. 

“Ryan, I’m going to Ness’ to celebrate Appa’s birthday. I’ll be home soon before Mom and Dad comes home.”

“Oh okay.” Ryan waves at his sister as his arms rests on Cassidy’s shoulder. 

“Bye guys!” Ness and Y/N wave as they both exit the house immediately. Harry stays unbothered as he takes another sip of his beer. 

“Thank you for getting me the fuck out of there.” 

“It’s okay. We don’t actually have to leave you know. It’s 6 PM, I can drive the car to a different neighbourhood and you can cry all about him there.”

“I love you.” Y/N begins to tear up. 

“I love you too.”

~

“What’s Tom doing here?” Ryan’s eyes are in shock as he watches his sister hold hands with the familiar boy. What’s confusing is that Y/N went to Ness’ for a birthday. 

“He just wanted to come over.” She smiles innocently as she waves hi to the same party. It was just about 7 PM and the double date duo was watching an unfamiliar movie on TV. Nessa called Tom and Y/N had to explain their situation. Although he didn’t really want to do it. He knew Y/N wanted to prove something to the Harry guy. So as long as they didn’t do anything romantic or weird that would cross his boundaries, Tom was okay with it. 

“Aw, I didn’t know you were dating Thomas?” Cassidy smiles as she walks in with a bowl of popcorn. She hands it to Carla who is cuddling up against Harry on one of the sofas.

“We aren’t dating.” They both look at each other and laugh. Tom shakes his head and pulls Y/N up the stairs instead. 

Once the pair is gone, the dates begin to watch their movie again. “Ryan, you really don’t care if your sister is by herself with that boy?” Carla laughs as she feeds herself and Harry popcorn.

“I’m definitely not going to interfere with that, they’re probably doing the nasty already.” His eyes widen as he stuffs more popcorn down his mouth and although, Harry was keeping his eyes on the screen, there wasn’t anything sitting well with him knowing the girl he was with on the weekend was already in somebody else’s arms. 

The goal was to get each other out of their systems, why the fuck are they so jealous then?

great plan Vanessa. 

Part deux ici 

[sodasback]

Let Go - Part 3

Reposting from my deleted acct.

Warnings: physical violence

That night you got a text from JJ’s number.

JJ: Hey Y/N, it’s Pope. I stole JJ’s phone and he’s trying to kill me over it right now. 

JJ: Anyway, he hasn’t stopped talking about you. Just thought you should know.

JJ: Don’t let him hide you from us. 

JJ: Kay gotta go, can’t breathe, bye

You laughed out loud at Pope’s texts and swooned over the fact that JJ was talking about you to his friends and that the Pogues, or Pope at least, seemed like he wanted to hangout with you.Then more texts came through. 

JJ: Sry pope doesnt kno wut hes talking about. ignore him. 

JJ: i cant let ur head get any bigger knowing tht im simping for u over here. I’ll have to put u in ur place again.😉

Y/N: Is that place on my knees in front of you?

JJ: ugh stop. ur gonna make me hard and wer on the boat

Y/N: Hey you started it

JJ: Yeah well I’ll finish it too when i see u tmrw pretty girl

Y/N: You better 😈

JJ: ur killin me smalls 🍆

You went to sleep that night blissfully happy. But you woke up full of dread knowing you had to breakup with Rafe. 

You texted him telling him that you needed to see him and talk. He seemed to know something was up, but he told you to meet him at your favorite park in Figure 8. 

Before you left to meet him, you texted JJ that you were meeting Rafe. And then you shared your location with him. You had a feeling JJ would end up being close by, but you frowned when he didn’t text back and thought maybe you should call him. No, it’ll be fine. Rafe doesn’t need to know what happened. I’ll just end it and it’ll be fine.

 You pulled up to the park and saw Rafe....

You had worn a hoodie, because it was the only thing you had that would really cover all the hickeys, that you also tried, pretty unsuccessfully, to cover with make-up.

“Hey beautiful” he greeted you softly from his spot seated at a bench and kissed your cheek as you sat down next to him. You were ashamed of yourself that you still felt a warm fuzzy feeling despite the fact that Rafe didn’t you treat you right and JJ already showed you more affection in such a short time.

“Hey doll” you greeted back out of habit.

You and Rafe were both quiet for a minute, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. You and Rafe enjoyed the scenery and the nearby fountain in silence.

“It’s over huh?” He asked solemnly, still looking off in the distance at first and then to you.

“Yeah” You admitted with a sigh before continuing, “I think we’re just growing apart and maybe we’re not the best for one another.” You said slowly.

You hated yourself for saying it that way, for not calling Rafe out on everything. And you hated yourself for not being 100% truthful that you cheated. But a part of you still loved him and a bigger part of you was just trying to survive this without a screaming match or something worse.

Rafe nodded and offered a small smile.

“I’ll always love you though. You know that right?” He said, squeezing your hand gently.

You melted a little. Rafe really could be the boyfriend you needed ...sometimes.

“Me too” is all you said with a gentle smile.

Rafe sighed and stood up. He opened his arms out for a hug. You stepped in and wrapped your arms around his waist. 

That wasn’t so bad you thought as you breathed in his cologne one last time and savored being in his arms for a second.

You felt Rafe shift a little and playing with the hood of your sweatshirt.

“Why’re you wearing a hoodie?” He asked, with genuine intrigue in his voice. You felt your heart stop and you tried to stop yourself from sweating more than you already were. You swallowed hard and then cleared your throat, trying to act casual.

“Just was a little chilly earlier.” You stated simply, pulling away from Rafe. Who looked at you skeptically. 

“It’s July. It’s hot as fuck out. There’s no way you’re cold.” He said tugging at the hem of the jacket. You pushed his hands away. 

“Rafe stop. I wanna keep it on. I’m cold.” You said, trying to squirm away from him. He firmly grabbed hold of both your wrists and pulled you towards him a little, motivating you to look up at his now deeply disbelieving expression. The furrow in his brow, made you nervous and you bit the inside of your cheek. You could see the gears turning in his head as he registered your very guilty and scared demeanor you couldn’t hide.

“Why’re you wearing a jacket, Y/N?” He asked in a sternly dangerous tone that gave you goosebumps. Your breathing started getting heavy. 

“Rafe” You warned nervously. 

His jaw became clenched. And he forcefully ripped the hemline of your pullover upward and wrenched your arm out one of the sleeves. 

“Rafe! Stop!” You yelled at him as you tried to squirm away but he manhandled you and harshly tugged your hoodie the rest of the way off and threw it on the ground, leaving you in your sports bra, completely exposing the hickeys on your neck and chest. You quickly tried to cover yourself and reach down for your hoodie at the same time, but Rafe grabbed your forearms again, hard enough to leave bruises. 

Fuck. Where’s JJ when you need him?

Rafe looked you up and down before tightening his grip on your arms. “You little fucking whore.” He swore through gritted teeth. 

“Rafe you’re hurting me.” You said with a whiny tone you couldn’t hold back.

“You’re just cold, huh? I can’t believe you fucked another guy, you cheating slut!” He spat as he throttled you.

“Rafe calm down.” You said, trying not to cry. God, JJ, please come. “I’m sorry, okay?”

“You’re sorry?! You’re sorry?!” Rafe laughed darkly, before moving a hand to your throat, but not fully squeezing yet. “You cheat on me and all you can say is you’re sorry?!” 

“Rafe! Please!” You begged, tears now welling up in your eyes. 

“Who’d you let fuck you, Y/N? Hmm? Who marked you up knowing you were mine?”

“Rafe, please let go!” You cried. 

“Tell me who it was, Y/N!” He growled at you in a way that made your blood run cold and he started to squeeze your throat. You clawed at his hand and his arm as he cut off your airway. 

“Cameron!” JJ yelled as he ran over to you. Rafe was caught off guard and let go of your throat. You collapsed to the ground gasping for air. JJ immediately was at your side. 

“Y/N! Are you okay? Go to your car, now.” JJ told you. But you stayed in your position, mostly out of necessity, given the fact you couldn’t breathe. 

“You’ve gotta be kidding me” Rafe said. “You cheated on me with this fucking piece of shit pogue?!” He asked you, as JJ stood up and faced him. 

“Leave. Now.” JJ told Rafe.

Rafe snorted, “Or what?” He challenged, stepping towards JJ.

Right then, police sirens went off. All 3 of you turned to see a Kildare County Sheriff SUV and Shoupe step out.

“Is there a problem gentleman?” Shoupe asked them walking towards the 3 of you.

Rafe and JJ were glaring at each other. You took the opportunity to put your hoodie back on.

Finally, Rafe said, “No problem here officer.” As he didn’t take his eyes off JJ, daring him to rat him out.

“Looks like you’re on the wrong side of town, Mr. Maybank. Everything okay Miss Y/L/N?” Shoupe asked.

“Yeah, JJ came to take me home. Rafe was just leaving.” You said.

By now, Shoupe had taken notice of the red mark on your neck and the fact you were on the ground with a defensive JJ in between you and Rafe. It was very obvious what had been going on.

“Mr. Cameron, I think you should head on home now.” Shoupe said. And you internally rolled your eyes. Of course, Shoupe would let Rafe just leave.

Rafe just glared at JJ.

“Rafe.” Shoupe said more firmly.

“I’ll see you soon Y/N, Maybank.” He promised in a dangerous tone before turning toward his car.

JJ watched him leave with his fists clenched. Once Rafe was driving away, JJ took a deep breath and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Miss Y/L/N, do you need to see a doctor?” Shoupe asked.

“No, I’m fine.” You said from JJ’s arms.

“Alright. You 2 take care, now.” Shoupe said as both an apology and a warning getting back in his car.

Now, it was just you and JJ. He was still holding you tight. “Are you okay?” He asked softly, glancing down at you. You nodded but kept your head tight to his chest squeezing his waist and cried a little. 

You only let yourself cry for a second and then sucked it up and when you sniffled, JJ held you back a little so he could look at you. He checked your expression and waited for you to nod as he slowly and gently pulled the collar of your hoodie down a little so he could see your neck.

A pained grimace appeared on JJ’s face and anyone looking at him could have probably seen his heart break in front of them as he looked at your injury.

You might have JUST admitted feelings for each other yesterday, but you couldn’t explain it. You and JJ felt right. It was young summer love, a whirlwind romance where you both fell hard and fast. And the fact that he was partly at fault for the huge hematoma forming on your neck, the fact Rafe quite literally could have killed you made JJ feel like crumbling.

“I’m gonna kill him.” JJ said to himself more than you. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Y/N.” 

“JJ. This is not your fault. Okay? Rafe is the one who had his hand around my neck not you.” You said with your hands holding his face. 

“But I-”

“No! Stop! I’m telling you this isn’t your fault. And I’m fine. See? I’m in one piece.”

JJ almost had tears spilling out. 

“I promise.” You reassured him. He closed his eyes and nodded. 

“So you taking me out on a date or what, Maybank?” You asked, desperately just wanting to see JJ’s face free of anguish again. He smiled a little and sniffled. 

“Yeah, I’m taking you out. Give me your keys.” He said smiling.

“Uh uh” You tsked, “You think I’m gonna let you drive my Porsche? I’ve seen you take a turn in John B’s van on 2 wheels. I’m not letting you behind the wheel of my baby.” 

“Fine” JJ pouted. But then he snatched the keys from your hand and mimicked the shocked look on your face and taunted you. 

“JJ!” You shouted reaching for the keys, but he held them out of reach from you. 

“Ooh sucks to be short, huh Y/N?” He said as he stumbled to your car still holding you back from the keys. 

“JJ.” You said seriously. “Give. Me. My. Keys.” He just looked at you waiting for you to threaten something as he stood next to the driver’s door. “Give me my keys or I’m not sucking your dick for a month.” You threatened. 

“Pfft” JJ scoffed, “Like you could go a month without begging for my cock down your throat? Bet” He said, nodding his chin up at you. You contemplated it and you knew he was probably right. You furrowed your brow. 

“I swear to god, if you crash my car, I will kill you Maybank.” You said as you walked to the passenger’s. 

“Whoo!” JJ cheered before awkwardly crawling into your front seat. “Jesus, your seat’s so close to the wheel!” He complained throwing the seat back and fixing all the mirrors. 

“JJ! You are fucking up all my stuff!” You yelled at him and punched him in the arm. He ignored you and revved the engine. 

“Ooofff” JJ groaned, “this is making me so horny. Can we have sex later?” 

You glared at him. 

“You’re eating me out for at least an hour for stealing my car.” You folded your arms and looked out the front windshield. JJ leaned over and pecked your cheek. 

“My pleasure baby.” he said, throwing your car in drive and screeching the tires. 

“JJ!”

Taglist: @moniamaybank @hernameisnoell @moonrisebeach @abbyj1822 @october-cameron @railmerafe

[juhakn]

Spring Had Just Ended

Words count: 7.5k

Theme: Slowburn, angst, fluff, established friendship

Pairing: Ten Lee and reader

summary: this summer is not what you expected when your childhood friend is back in town for a month break from college. the same person, the same feelings

You lost your cat.

Well, rather, she was the one who got lost but for some invalid reasons, your family blames you for the incident. May I remind you, an incident you clearly do not have anything to do with.

So here you are, with your friend Ten; whom you consider is very useless in your journey of finding the cat. I am a cat person, he states. You cock my eyebrow at him, completely disagreeing with his statement. He hops on the rocks, the wet rock that lives in the shallow river. It used to be your hiding spot-your cat, Thian loved to follow you here.

But college got you two caved in.

The both of you forgot to keep each other updated as he studies in Thailand, his home city while you're stuck here, in a town you're getting tired with. He would always nag every chance he gets about how you're wasting my intelligence over a small town that doesn't offer great majors.

"It holds a special place in my heart," is what you'd say.

Right now, you feel like dropping.

Holding your phone, you continue to follow wherever he goes-except Thailand. Maybe you shouldn't have brought him with you, maybe both of you shouldn't have decided to come back here in summer. He stops, "hey remember this?" he grins, his hand grasping a rock, carved with his initial and yours. Your lips couldn't help but lift themselves into a gentle smile, "yes I do, idiot."

"I remember you telling me a cat person should be able to attract cats within 50 miles away- which is complete bullshit by the way-and I somehow wore a fucking cat ears just to prove you I am one, in Halloween." He looks at you with an idiotic smile on his face. The same old smile that always makes your heart do laps.

"for the record, we were 13 and yes, a cat person should be able to attract cats within 50 miles away. You were just in denial like you are right now," you scoff.

You're the one who's in denial.

[23:17]

The quest in searching for your family (and yours) beloved Thian was a fail.

But somehow, Ten did end up in your house, eating dinner with your mother who keeps complaining about how he doesn't remember her anymore (because it's his first time visiting her in three years). You're fiddling with the spaghetti you're trying to find interesting.

Ten was a friend you met during high school, he moved from Thailand to your small town- something you're intrigued by. Why would someone ever fly all the way from a beautiful country that has little bits to everything to a small, secluded, town that absolutely doesn't have everything?

My parents wanted somewhere closed off, he would say, with a shrug followed by.

He wasn't your neighbour, or at least in your point of view (you think neighbours are the ones who lives beside, not in front of two houses by) he was a classmate.

You couldn't speak Thai, but Ten still would talk in his native language with you. Slowly, you would pick up some words but that was after he rushed to college. You never had a chance to show off your skill. Not that he's here...you feel off.

Ten was just like anyone else, he showed no interest in learning but is forced to. He once confessed about dropping school so he could become a performer.

In which he left you, for a dance major.

For his dream.

You once watched him dance. It was the month before he left for Thailand, chasing his dream. He let his warm hand slid into yours, gently grasping your fingers and stroking your hand with his thumb.

"I wanna show you something." And he did, he tugged you to your secret little space by the stream.

You watched him take off his shoes, switching them with his ballet ones. He had a big grin plastered on his face, "okay, I'm not that good so...please tell me how I did." As his toes pointed to the ground, he took a deep breath and twirl with passion.

He was a ballerino and you were falling.

[10:44]

"Do you think she'll come back?"

It was a question you loved to ask yourself. It was winter and you were lost. You still are, but you think you're getting back on track now that he's here.

Both of you decided to catch up with life, drove to the city and hang out in a newly opened cafe. There's no talking, but it's not awkward. Rather, it's comforting. You stop picking with your vanilla cake.

You look at your friend's eyes, oh-you could stare into those beautiful brown eyes of his for god who knows-you sigh, "I don't know Ten, I don't know." And it isn't a question, it's a dilemma.

Should you tell him how you feel or should you not?

You clench your teeth, the bitter taste on your tongue stayed. You just want to dance with him, you want to tell him, take your hand and wish he'd take it like his life depends on it. But that's okay, you think. But that's fine, you think. But that's nice, you think

But that hurts, you smile.

"Does Mrs Millers still sell her cherry ade? Man, I miss those days when we got them for free. I never understood why she didn't want to market it. She could be a millionaire for all we know." Ten huffs, his palm resting on his chin. He had always had pretty features, a button nose, big doe eyes, beautiful tanned skin and long eyelashes.

You couldn't bring yourself to think about his lips, you're scared you might jump onto his pink ones.

He looks at you and you reply with a shriek, "she doesn't sell them but she does still give us them," you pause, "free of charge."

Ten hums, eyes darting away from yours.

He looks at the pedestrians crossing the street, the woman walking her raging chihuahua and a man beside her with his golden retriever. The old grumpy man wearing a checkered patterned flat cap, thrusting his hands into his old, thorned brown leather jacket. Those girls chatting while eating ice cream in the hot summer wearing a matching strawberry dress.

You chuckle softly, the old man must love his grandchildren to death. You wonder if he even does have one.

In your small town, they don't have a cute modern cafe but an old vintage one. It's a cute, small building that has gone old, probably more than two decades. Its owner is an old lady named Michelle Suh whose husband is far below 6 feet in the ground. She's a sweet lady who'd give the two of you free sandwiches after school ended.

She has gotten old, the cafe would probably be closed by a few months.

Ten's eyes wander off to the old couple swinging their hands sweetly as they cross the street, adoring each other lovely.

"I wish that could be us..."

The cream tastes awful.

[11:15]

"Have you two lads date already?" Is the first greeting Mrs Millers asked. She doesn't hesitate to express her feelings (which you do admire), it just slips off her lips.

You choke on the carbonated cherry flavoured drink, your cheeks heating up with the same colour as the deep red cherries. Ten laughs freely, brushing off the old woman with his hands jokingly, stating, "I don't think we don't suit each other."

You look down at your shoes, they're sandals with a huge sunflower on each to add more aesthetical pleasing. Or maybe you're looking at the shattered pieces of your heart.

The old woman with a cherry apron sighs, "I was wishing you two could get married after my son." She smiles bitterly, disappointed that her favourite ship is sinking.

"Oh? Jungwoo's getting married?" Her son perks your interest, you haven't seen him for years after he went to boarding school. He's a couple of years younger but he's handsome.

You noticed how Ten's face dropped after you changed the subject to Kim Jungwoo; the high school student you had a crush on. It was a phase, you say. Mrs Millers is Jungwoo's foster mom, after his parents couldn't afford to raise him so Mrs Millers took him into her family's warm embrace.

Kim Jungwoo still keeps in contact with his biological parents. You knew because he accidentally overshares about his family issues when you found him crying by the river after school. You knew because the two of you would hang out by the river before Ten came. You knew because Jungwoo was your friend.

"Jungwoo's engagement was off last minute. He's here but he's a guy with a broken heart. The love of his life left him and he's a human." You pity both Mrs Millers who's forcing her lips to smile and Jungwoo...who's overwhelmed with sadness.

"Can I talk to him, Mrs Millers?" You raise your hand, asking for her consent. She nods weakly, "you can, but I'm not sure if he'd answer." And you understand, because he hates it when someone sees him at his weakest.

Once again, you knew because he told you when he cried on your shoulder when his dog died. Tuu, a white Samoyed, was his emotional support (besides you).

You sigh, thinking of all possibilities Jungwoo might make them happen. "It's okay if he doesn't, I just miss him...I want him to know that I'm here, always."

Ten flinches, but no one noticed.

Mrs Millers walk to her fridge and take the cold ham sandwich before giving it to you. She softly whispers, "can you please bring this to him, (Y/n)? He rarely goes out these days."

You nod.

You left Ten and Mrs Millers talking to each other, completely in their world. You take a deep breath, "I hope he's okay..." And walk upstairs, carefully, without making too many noises.

You knock on Jungwoo's door, softly asking his permission for you to enter. There's no response. Twice, nothing. Thrice, still quiet. You knock aga-

Jungwoo opens his door. He has eyebags under his red, dull eyes. His skin looks lifeless, he looks lifeless. Like a zombie who has nothing to do with life. No passion, no motivation...no Kim Jungwoo.

His lips quiver seeing you and you mind yourself to not squish the cold sandwich when hugging him as you slowly take him into your arms. He sobs into your chest and you coo, "there, there, my pretty boy...I'm here, jungwoo. I'm home." You pat his back with a steady rhythm.

You gentle sway your bodies into his room and closes the door by kicking it with your toe. You caress his soft brown locks, still cooing his sweet words.

For a solid 10 minutes, his sobs have stopped. You look down at him, your thumb lifts his chin for him to connect your eyes. He looks miserable, heartbroken.

You stroke his cheek gently with your thumb, "whoever did this to you, they don't know you deserve more. You deserve better, my love." You give him a sweet longing kiss on his forehead. One that screams "I miss you!".

"Now don't cry anymore, you look like a lost sad puppy." You playfully squish his cheeks with your hands, drawing circles on his soft cheeks. His lips inch for a smile as he looks at you.

Plopping down onto his bed, he follows by resting his head on your lap as you brush his hair. It used to be a hobby of yours when you two were still in high school. You think the habit might come back.

"They said they love me," Jungwoo starts. "And I believed them..." His voice shakes, his heart couldn't bear the past. "They left me, saying we were just never meant to be...it hurts knowing that I still love them. For 4 fucking years, (Y/n)," he halts.

"For 4 fucking years, we were in love and they ended it. I left after that. I left Paris and got lost. But I'm here." He cries.

His sobs get louder when hides himself in his palms. You sigh deeply, your shaking hands' pats his head. "I know that feeling," you whisper.

You do? Jungwoo asks. For 6 years of friendship, you never talk about your love life to him. He thought you were just aroromantic, so he never really cares.

"Yeah, I do." You answered his question.

"That feeling when you're just not meant to be and now you're regretting taking their hands into yours, regretting being there for them when they're sad, regretting loving them because-"

"-they left." Jungwoo continues bitterly. You nod out a yeah, you don't mind if he interrupts, it's Jungwoo and you're willing to drop the whole world for him. You stop playing with his hair and take a moment before continuing, "or maybe you don't regret loving them. You think they're the right person, but as soon as you do...they just left."

"You wanna think it's a mistake, a mistake that they leave. But it's just regret." You playfully Boop his cute nose and he scrunch it. It's cute, you think.

"I guess we're the mistresses who fell in love with married guys." Jungwoo pouts, and you nearly squish him to death. He's adorable and you're this close to snuggle him to death.

"Except that they're not." You emphasis. "And I was going to." He says as he rolls his eyes.

You interlock your hands with him, rubbing them against your cheek. "We make mistakes but I don't know if it was ever a mistake," Jungwoo confesses rather timidly. And you know he's lost, just like you.

Two friends lost in love.

Jungwoo laughs with a thin line of sadness lined in between his sweet voice. "I think they were the ones who made a mistake for leaving us, don't you think so?" He looks up at you, eyes wide open as he asks curiously.

You hum, "in your case, yes. How could a little pretty boy who deserves the whole world got left?" You say as you bring your hands to cradle his cheeks and squish them together. You earn a lively laugh from him and honestly, that's all you ever wanted. For a moment, the two of you stare at the sunset. Into different worlds, the two of you are still able to communicate with each other. He's on his own and vice versa. It's a quiet time where you both enjoy the silence in each other's warmth. The cold sandwich has already gotten into Jungwoo's stomach and he quote, "cold ham sandwiches are superior."

Jungwoo realises about what you said so he asked, "how about yours?"

"It was my choice."

[14:54]

Ten is intimidated by Jungwoo's height but he could never bring that up or you'll tease him till death. By the time you wave at the mother and her precious son, he drags you to his bike. Ten never liked cars, he fancies bikes more than them, you recall.

"What did you guys talk about?" He asks carefully with a straight face while helping you with the helmet. You shrug, "We just talk and cuddle. That's it."

Ten halts, but quickly hops onto his bike. You watch him throwing a small tantrum-by pressing the bike's gear, creating a very loud noise. As he drives you to your house, he whines quietly.

"Cuddles? Seriously? What is he? A toddler who needs cuddles to cheer up?"

As he drops you off, he runs off-without saying goodbyes. You throw your head back, stressed over your bottled up feelings for your hot friend. Ten is hot, you admit.

For anything, he's so hot you remember thinking about him in a suit during prom in the exam that you forgot to answer the exam paper. It was embarrassing and nice. He's unbearably hot that your coffee was overflowing all because you're too busy staring at his new haircut. He's too hot that you nearly missed a traffic light while driving because you were thinking about how good he could be with you.

And Ten still doesn't know about your feelings.

And you're getting pretty tired with all those butterflies that appear every time he texts you good mornings and goodnights. You're tired of those flips your stomach does whenever he smiles at you. You're tired of your heart running miles every damn time he laughs at your corny jokes.

You throw yourself onto your soft bed, head in the pillow, socks still on your feet, your sling bag somewhere on the carpeted floor and your necklace are still on.

Tomorrow's Monday.

And you have applied to work at the small cat book cafe with Sicheng. Sicheng is a friend of Jungwoo's you met during the middle school reunion. Sicheng never liked reading but he said that's the only job the town ever has. And you agree with the Chinese man.

Ten haven't met Sicheng yet, you think.

Why does every time you try to think about anything that doesn't remind you of his gorgeous self, you always find a way back to thinking about him? It feels like he connects your universe (which he does), and you will never get lost.

But you feel as if you're disappearing in the forest of love. It's hazy, you feel dizzy. The fuzziness inside you never left and biology can't even explain the feeling scientifically. You're mad, mad in love with Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul.

You shout into the poor pillow, letting your feelings go around messing your room instead of your brain. You are tired and you have work tomorrow.

So you sleep.

Wearing earphones, sad playlist shuffles to help you lull to a deep peaceful slumber without Ten.

[19:13]

"(Y/n), (Y/n)!"

Sicheng snaps you from your daydream. You blink, twice. You still can't get him out of your head. He's just there, running through your mind, living rent-free. He should at least pay one dollar for every time he crossed your mind and you'd still get only one dollar because he never leaves.

Sicheng doesn't know who Ten is, at least visually/physically, but he knows you like the man. Sicheng could tell from the way your eyes are reflecting love or whatever that shit is. He thinks love isn't real and you do agree...halfway.

"I'm sorry-what were you saying, Sicheng?" You ask with a sheepish smile, your hand awkward scratches the nape of your neck. Sicheng pinches in between his eyebrow, forehead creasing. "I'm suggesting, (Y/n). Stop thinking about Ten!" He glares, and you absentmindedly take note of Sicheng's cuteness when angry.

"I wasn't thinking about him!" Your voice is an octave high, so it's a lie. You can't lie anyways, Sicheng's sun in the Scorpio allows him to read your mind. You don't believe in astrology-it's all just a big coincidence. Sicheng however does study astrology along with astronomy. He hates physics for that, but he believes in magical stuff and rituals.

Sicheng is a spiritual man.

He rolls his eyes, "whatever. I'm saying if we can put up posters about your missing cat around the town." You bit your lips. Ten had already done that the second he found out Thian went missing. "Ten already spread the news around. If anything happens, they'd call him before me." You sigh, Ten is a smart guy.

"He's a nice guy."

That's the problem. He's a nice guy and you're pushing him away. You're the stupid one for not getting him, not confessing to him. He could be the one, he also could be a passerby.

You want him to be in your life, not just a passerby who watches your life from afar. Not just the star who appears only when you need him. You want him to be your love, always there even if you don't need him.

Maybe just maybe, he can be your Juliet-without the tragic death event(s).

Sicheng goes back to pet the fat orange cat on the counter whilst looking out for customers. He tends to keep away from rumours about him slacking off. He leans in against the marble counter, smirking, "you know, if you keep thinking about him, I'm afraid he might show up." Sicheng snarky comment make you feel less nervous.

"You attract what you fear," you warm him. You walk back to cleaning the windows, way too occupied with talking to your handsome co-worker. Sometimes you wonder what could you have done to be blessed with attractive people in your life. You're lucky to live in the same realm, era, area, with them. And the fact that you know them...personally, is, really wholesome.

"No wonder he's here." Sicheng comments and you nearly slip. A what feels like an electric shock makes your body slightly imbalanced from the slippery tiled floor.

"Oh, shit-" you brush off the stain on your shirt. You look around, there's no Ten.

Sicheng laughs as you feel your cheeks warming up. You grasp the dirty towel and throw it onto Sicheng. You don't aim for his face because he's so pretty it hurts...yet it ended up flying directly to his forehead.

You burst out bubbly laughs, holding your stomach while Sicheng picks up the dirty towel with disgust. Sicheng looks at you and looks back at the towel. "Now, would it harm someone if I throw this to someone?" His lips curl up into a vicious smile.

You notice and quickly run between the books. You know Sicheng wouldn't dare to throw it- he might ruin the vintage. And he loves them. Summer is when we read books with cats, he states.

As the two of you continue playing around and bickers about the towel, the bell door rings. A customer has entered. Your eyes dart to the door and your knees wobble. A very, attractive young man whom you assumed is probably a graduate is greeting a calico cat named Hana. "God...why do such men always surround themselves in our lives?" Sicheng bites his lips.

"I don't know, but he is damn hot." You whisper, eyes still glancing at the stranger. "Hey, you have Ten! Enough collecting!" Sicheng flicks your forehead and you swear you heard a loud smack. You heard a soft chuckle behind you. "You know Ten?"

You turn around, dizzy. The man has a sharp nose, a defined jaw and big eyes. His cheekbones are visible and that makes him more...hot. however, hot is not the right word to describe his attractiveness. Perhaps, gorgeous does. You stutter over your words, "Yes- yes I do know Ten!" You cringed at yourself.

The man's eyes gleam under the light of the cafe upon hearing your answer. "Do you want coffee?" Sicheng interrupts, finding excuses to get away from the eye-gouging scene. It's exaggerated, he knows. The mystery man simply nods and asks for a cup of iced Americano. Sicheng's breath hitch, "basic bitch."

He doesn't mean it in a bad way.

Sicheng sets his foot to the coffee maker. The mystery man looks back at you, his charming smile never fades. He slowly leans in and whispers, "please do something about Ten. We're getting a bit annoyed by his rants." Your eyes widen, taken aback by his sudden action. The man simply takes a step back and winks, "the name's Hendery. We'll have lots of meetings from now on."

"I'm...glad?"

"Here's your coffee!" Sicheng suddenly appears and Hendery pays for it. He points his index finger to your lips and puts it on his own before mumbling about what you think is, "secret."

Hendery walks out after he pets all the cats in the cafe (which takes him around 10 minutes because they're 10 cats). Sicheng nudges your elbow, "what was that all about?" You shake your head, "I don't know but I do know he's handsome."

Although, handsome is an understatement. Hendery is...heavenly charming. Yeah, you think he suits heavenly more. However, Ten is still on top of the list. Because ten is hot as hell.

[07:27]

Spending time with cats is never on the summer bucket list but you think it completed the summer itself. You can die happily now. Not to mention now that Ten is here, summer is a bit warm for you now. Warm because you're currently holding his hand tightly-as if you'd let him go any second, on your way to watch a play.

Few hours earlier, he had invited you to watch his friend's play, Hendery, together. At first, you didn't think plays are for you. Heck, that thought never once appear in your mind. But seeing Ten was so desperate for you to be there with him, you thought, why not? It could never harm anyone.

Your heart feels giddy and fuzzy. As soon as he shows the tickets to the security, he pulls your hand excitedly. Perhaps he's just giving his friend his support.

Joy overtook you as he continues holding your hand even during the play which makes your focus on him, not the play. Though the only thing you remember is the title of the play; "Charming Lady." It is not a traditional play, Ten whispers.

It's my original idea, he grins. You scrunch your nose in confusion, plays requires money, you remember. So how in the world-oh...

It's my original idea, he grins. You scrunch your nose in confusion, plays requires money, you remember. So how in the world—oh. Ten's a famous chef's son and yet, he still doesn't know how to cook rice...for some reason (he has his mother why would he cook?). He's rich as hell, for crying out loud. Everyone would sacrifice themselves just to be served by his family. Their speciality in cooking raised everyone's standard on one's tasting buds whether by the texture, presentation or the taste itself. You once tried their signature, pineapple crab curry, cried and you swore to never discriminate food ever again.

"This...is voluntary. You could say I just want to share my world of arts with people for free. The tickets are exclusively given for people with love for art. I did some research of them...and it's intriguing." Ten lay back on his seat, careful not to spill his coffee onto the floor.

Coffee and plays, a combination you never know you need. It goes well together. The bittersweet longing taste of espresso laces within the dramatic plots of acted out scenes. Truly, a masterpiece.

[00:58]

Charming lady is a rather cliche story, you must say.

Charming lady is based off a woman's dream of becoming a wife to a rich man and travelling the world. And sadly, the man she loves moves away without her as he finds more opportunities in other countries. She would cry herself to sleep every night, wishing-maybe God would help.

Poor soul, you think.

Just like you.

Hopelessly in love with a man you know you would never have chance with. And to every each day you wish for him to look at you, may if it's just seconds, may if it's just a short while. You hope those twinkling eyes of his would shine seeing you, but you could only hope.

You hate fate.

As the story progresses, hendery is the protagonist, the villian or whatever Ten said. Now, Hendery's role is the most crucial affect to the whole plot. He thicken the play by simply pursuing the woman-a whole cliche, likewise.

But you know how it feels.

To see someone who's in love, but not you. You're desperate, you're selfish for wanting him. But how could the little heart of yours endure such a burden in the name of love? Whether it'd be yours or his. As you grew up, you understood the villain more this developing a hatred passion towards the selfish hero(es).

You couldn't shed a tear but something break your heart there.

You know Ten will be leaving again.

His love for dancing wouldn't get him anywhere if he stays here.

After the two of you watched the theatre, Ten suggested a cafe that sells good sweets. The evening is quiet beautiful today with the clouds blushing on the horizon, the sun spreading its last shiny crown for today. You look at the menu, chose one portion of banana milk smooth and a red bean flavoured bun while Ten orders Chai Tea for himself.

"Hey! I've been calling your name for 3 minutes now!!" Ten's voice sorts your thoughts back to reality. You whisk your head to look at him and apologize. "I was way in my mind." You rub your arms softly, the cold night of summer is a hassle. You may never feel his warmth again after this.

He makes an annoyed expression, "here's your smoothie. Banana. And that's probably the only thing I hate bout you, hoe." You snicker, "it's just a smoothie, Ten! You're just getting on your own nerves!" You let out a big laugh, one that make your stomach flips.

"Ew, we're definitely not soulmates." Ten says with a disgust, his tongue poking out and his eyebrows furrowed. He takes your hand in his, grasping it lightly as if you're as fragile as a glass. Your lips reach for the cold blended beverage and slowly sips. Ten watches is disbelief, his eyes narrowed-he's not a fond of fruit, his mother said 6 years ago.

"You know, that play was a first. I really appreciate it when you said you could come. I know it's not that great to you...because you've always hated love and stuff...but seeing my best friend showing up to give support is nice." His ears are red as a cherry, you noticed. Your breath got heavier as your chest thumps vigorously against your ribcage, begging to burst out.

Honestly, you don't really mind if he views you as just a friend. You are far more happy to be on his 'my loved ones' list. If you're able to make him happy, that's all that matters.

You sigh deeply, "what can I say to my parasite? I have to give everything of mine or you'd die." You ruffle his hair, smiling from ear to ear. Ten grins, like a cat, and your heart did a back flip.

"Let's go home."

Ten shakes his head upon hearing your suggestion. "Come on, (Y/n). It's been two weeks and we ever did was going to a cafe, work and sleep. Aren't you getting bored?" The man wiggle his eyebrows playfully and you know where is this going. You laugh, "Ten, I have work tomorrow and I can't afford to sleep late today."

Tomorrow's Tuesday and by now, you've just realised how time flew so fast. It feels like it was just yesterday Ten moved to your neighbourhood. It feels like it was just yesterday the first time the two of you met. It wasn't even special or dramatic like anyone's first loves, but...it is special at least to you.

Little things pasts like the waves. So you want to cherish everything before the end of the world. You are afraid of not completing the role of yours before you die but your mother always warn; "never rush into life or death will move forward." You look up, the soft night breeze softly gust onto your cheeks. A little goodnight by them. The stars are laid across the black canvas of the so called night sky.

Ten looks up too, "who said that?" He closes his eyes for a second, enjoying his youth while he still can before adulthood reaches his time. He continues, "anyways, I was going to tell you to let's go rob your cafe."

This caught your attention—he always does nonetheless. Your eyes widen as saucers, breath hitched, cheeks flushed from the cold,"are you crazy?" You stressed. Ten shrugs his shoulders and meet you in the eye. "For the cats, (Y/n). Think of the cats!" He exclaims dramatically—and you like that about him. He always care for little things, he's attentive of others. Ten may deny all of your sweet statements of his but you know better.

"You're still not over by that?" You roll your eyes and if not, you want to show him your eyeballs fall out of the sockets then put it back in. Just to show him how "annoyed" you are.

On his fourth day of vacation—1 summer free of notifications of "new assignment posted"—you had told him about how Mrs. Suh loves the cats but not enough to let them into her house. She said it reminds her of her late husband. "No, how could they let the cats caged overnight? That's like...a devil's son."

You turn to Ten, "Oh Ten, they're fed. They also will go to walk every morning. It's not like they're dying!" Your feet starts walking to its own pace on the concrete path. The city is quiet, peace and calm. Ten follows. Just like he always does and now, to you, it's time you go on your own paths for the sake of yourselves.

"Fine, fine. I admit I'm exaggerating." He thrusts his cold hands into the pocket of his denim jacket. Ten has things for fashion. Occasionally, he designs for small companies for savings or charity. You flash a grin,"do you still want to do it?" And Ten nod enthusiastically, excited.

You think for a minute and, "race you to the cafe!" You grasp onto your banana smoothie cup firmly, it's only half full. He seems to be taken aback, nonetheless, he starts chasing, shouting, "hey, that's like 20 miles on foot!"

Breathless, still on the run, you turn,"then you better get your foot on the damn pedal!"

Does Nakata ever cares about others? The outcome is a big fat no in red. But even for cats, there are some exceptions and Ten is the exception. The Siamese cat doesn't like anyone unless it's Ten Lee. But fuck the world for having only one Lee Yongqin.

[00:13]

Ten decide to only let Nakata out to avoid getting you fired.

He gently stroke the purring cat.

Oh, to be a cat is a blessing. To be pat by a man named Ten Lee is a blessing. You look in awe, "See, Nakata? I told you you're a 'tsundere'."

The cat glares, then proceeds back to enjoy his little massage therapy. He's too tired to argue you (or he just simply loves ignoring people). You chuckle, turning to Ten. "Do you want some coffee?"

Ten shakes his head briefly. "I don't want an adrenaline rush." You shrug your shoulders, his lost. "Oh please, as if college students aren't caffeine addicts. I'm dialling the pizza." You say, phone on your hand, dialling the local pizza. When you were a kid (actually still till this day), you develop a fear of ordering. And you absolutely hate it when your mom left you alone at the cashier because apparently she forgot to grab the sugar.

You had no money and you were nervous seeing the line had shorten up.

You ring up, and order one box of pepperoni. Classic choice. Nothing goes wrong with classics. Ten sighs, sinking into the torn couch. "Seriously, I live off pizza and coffee. Kun probably hates me for that." He smirks, remembering a friend from college. "There are so many reasons to hate you, darling. Hey, isn't Kun a music major?" You smirk.

Ten once told you about Kun, his roommate. Ten is the epitome of party of life and he could never turn down alcohol for God's sake. Because God forbid him being sober. And one time, he knocked out himself and Kun had to dragged his ass back home. Kun was mostly mad that he had to be responsible for Ten (because the lecturer would ask him about Ten's whereabouts). The whole campus knows they're roommates.

Ten's famous, it's expected.

And you somehow still remember it because 1)if you were to be in love, you will make sure to remember everything. 2)he complains about how kun sounds like his mom a lot—and you could never be anymore happy knowing there is someone taking care of him. 3)kun told you too. He also figured out on how much you're in love with Ten and quoted, "it's as if he's your world—no, your entire universe." And you couldn't agree more. You and kun are secretly friends behind Ten's back.

Preferably because you two gossips about him in the chat...a lot. He said they're for blackmailing if Ten ever threatens him. But you just answer, drop a basket of fruits on the welcoming mat, monotonously.

"Yeah, he always nag how we don't take care of health. Calories and whatever. Sometimes I wonder why he just don't take nutritions."

""Yeah, he always nag how we don't take care of health. Calories and whatever." Ten huffs, watching the cat jumps off his lap and dissapear somewhere between the wooden shelves. "He sounds like Winwin. That guy always nag about people's taste in coffee. He hates it when they order iced Americano because apparently, that's basic." You say with despite, because he did judge you for just ordering iced Americano. It isn't your fault for getting overwhelmed by the sudden tick of anxiety.

That was a year ago, the night you met Sicheng. It was Christmas and he was desperate to close the cafe and barely even got the cats into the cage.

Ten rolls his eyes, "tell me about it." But in the end, he knows you have a soft spot for Sicheng (though he never really know who is this man). That man is cute and has a thing for astrology? Sign (Y/n) the fuck up. Ten is still busy catching up with other people and it's selfish of you to think he'd give up his time just for you. You wish you're his only friend but Ten's an extrovert. He greets everyone and anyone.

You decide to take a bold step forward, "how's dancing?" The topic still hurts you a bit but maybe it's time to move on. What happened already happened. He looks at you dead in the eye. "You know, why can't I just dance and drop the history in dancing? Why do we have to use our brains too? It's exhausting!" He throws his arms into the air, letting out a wail. His focus now on you, he asks, "how about you?"

The question is blurry. The answer is ambiguous. Is he asking about how are you doing? Should you answer with, "oh I'm in love with you and it hurts when you weren't here," or "oh, everything's okay, even if my heart aches like shit and I nearly died from the butterflies you gave me," and you choose neither.

Instead, you reply with, "journalism is still shitty. But Miss Dahlia is shittier. She thinks the whole world revolves around her." You say with despite lacing between your teeth. You hate her with a passion for asking you to write an essay about inspiration. To be decent, you entered journalism to write articles about true crime stories.

"Elaborate."

"Please allow me to jump out of the window and bury myself into the ground."

"Straight to hell." He offers his first bump. And gladly greet him back.

"From, hell."

The doorbell rings. The pizza has arrived. You walk towards the door and grab Ten's wallet from his coat that's hanging at the door. He scowls, loud enough for you to know. You brush it off. Ten has been loving off you so it's time he returns the favour. He signed up the friendship contract, nonverbal, and it clearly states, "always feed your best friend." You smile to the delivery man and wave goodbye.

You take steps to the carpet and put the box of pizza on the coffee table. You pull your knees near your chest, taking a warm slice of pizza to relieve your hunger. "How are things for you?" You start.

"Well, my life is cool." He replies, toneless. Your question make him pursue his lips, recalling everything he has done in life. The question is subjective yet he feels as if you're slipping through the cracks of his fingers—and he is beyond fucking scared to lose you. But he knows that's selfish of him.

"No potential lovers?" You yawn, sleepiness has been taunting you for the night. You can't afford to sleep here or you're getting fired. And Sicheng will kill you for leaving him alone dealing with impatient customers who doesn't know how to appreciate baristas that works hard to serve the best beverage. Being a barista is hard but falling in love with Ten is harder.

Ten stretch his arm, "not really, college is hectic for love. Too hectic." You could see his bruises on the legs as his jeans rolled up a bit. Dancers has them and he always said that it's fine and normal. Since dancers uses their bodies a lot, it's almost a routine for bruises to come along on the way.

"Have you ever been in love, Ten?" That caught him off guard. Not once you have asked him about love. It comes naturally to him. To him, love is something he wants to feel and share. That's the reason he chose dancing. To share people about his love for art performance by simply moving his body with the music. It's like fluid. You go wherever music takes you.

You take a deep breath. Love to you is completely selfish. You have no idea how to pursue love in any ways.

"My friends there...they're in love. They found someone to cherish romantically. They found someone to love and sometimes...I feel left out. They hang out with their partners on holidays and I can't really expect them to be free always." So you let it out. Those hidden feelings everytime you felt around your friends. You don't want to say you're desperate to be loved, rather you want someone to love.

After all, love is the reason of existence. To be a human is to feel emotions, to be hurt and to hurt, to make mistakes and be one sometimes.

Ten is silent. And you don't really mind, at all. So you continue, spilling your emotions and left no crumbs."My family keeps pestering me to find someone. You know how I am. I don't believe in love at first sight. I want a love that starts from a relationship. Trust is earned." He agrees by nodding silently. He doesn't need to say anything unless need to be.

"I wish I could live in a cottage with cats." You let out a breathless laugh, tears threatening to spill like pearl beads falling. He joins in,"oh, to live in a cottage core aesthetic," draping his arm over his forehead and clutch his chest.

"Sometimes, I wish I have someone too." You confess, looking away from him. Gazing at the stars, your cheeks flushed. You have no intention of hinting on him but hey, we live once. So fuck it.

Ten murmurs under his breath, "what if they're close?" He decides for himself. He's a grown man and Sicheng thinks—for some reason—fate holds everything and Ten thinks otherwise. As if the stars had written for him to be in love with you, then so be it. If he loves, he loves hard.

"Wha—" you don't have enough time. Ten says that a lot because he thinks you're going to drift away once again so he crashes his lips onto yours.

The kiss isn't the one you'd call a great one. However, it's the kind of kiss that would still leave butterflies in your stomach. The two of you are still new about this, he doesn't ask you to define and neither do you. The kiss sent sparks all over your body, he doesn't really know how to lead. But it's okay, kisses can wait to be perfected —with practice.

Everything is hazy and love is still unfair. Love is still a question no one could ever answer, playing with every human beings feelings. But that's okay because you can take slow steps with Ten, to define the journey. But you know he's going to be with you till the end of the world. Because he passed his awkward angsty teenage hears with you, he was there when you pulled your wisdom teeth out, he was there when you lost Thian and helped you to move on from it (hopefully the cat is fine wherever he is).

The spring ended and it's time for a new summer full of hope and sparks of potential love.

[ambivalent-anarchy]

Body

Part 1 of 2

Part 2

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Warning: None

Anon requested- can I get a one shot where the reader does the body positivity trend with the new megan thee stallion song and the reader is insecure about how ppl will react to it?? Most importantly how peter will react to it?? K thanks

Awww I love doing smol readers and where Peter's actually the one that has it together lol sooo thanx for this

The TikTok is that new body positivity trend with that Megan Thee Stallion song. Couldn't link it because tumblr acts weird about links but part 2 will have a video for Peter. Also reader will be 18 (senior in high school) cuz some people think minors shouldn't participate in the trend lol

A/N: Either a motivation fairy hit me in the middle of the night or I'm really just that bored to the point where I had no choice but to get my motivation to write back. Either way I'm happy lol. Enjoy! Thanks to @yumings and @kelieah for helping me feel confident in this lol

Will definitely be a two parter🙂

---------------------------------------

Body oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy oddy-

You'd finally finished editing the video.

It was a simple, short collage of all of your favorite selfies and pictures that showed off your body well. There was a new trend going around on TikTok and when you saw it you just had to jump at it headfirst.

People would take their favorite pictures of themselves, ones that showed off their bodies just the way they liked, and they'd put it to the sound of Megan Thee Stallion's song "Body".

You looked through your entire phone gallery to find pictures that you were confident enough to post, some you'd forgotten you even took in the first place.

When you were done, you threw in the simple caption that everyone was using.

Heard we're using this sound to show off. My turn then😜

Yeahhhhhh, the caption sounded much more confident than you actually felt.

You actually thought about deleting it from the minute you posted it. Insecure wasn't even the word for it. And even with your followers there to hype you up, you couldn't help but feel self-conscious. So, albeit hesitantly, you went to your friends for support.

The first person you showed was Michelle.

"You killed that," she said in math class as she passed you the phone underneath the table so that the professor wouldn't see.

"Thanks," you said. "I was honestly kinda nervous about it." You noticed her incredulous look and explained yourself, toying with the loose strings on your jacket. "Like seriously, I don't wanna fish for compliments, it's just that there are so many better ones out there."

Michelle gave a lopsided grin. "That's just you being insecure, you dork," she retorted. "You look hot." She gave an uninterested glare at the teacher when they told her to be quiet. Then she turned towards you with a smile. "You shown Peter yet? I bet he'd agree."

You shifted in your seat nervously and MJ immediately caught on. "What, you don't wanna show him?" She gave you a look when you took a while to answer. "Dude he's literally your boyfriend. I'm pretty sure he'll like it."

"MJ, we haven't even-" you looked around secretively. "-we haven't even taken our shirts off in front of each other yet. There's literally a pic of me in my sports bra and I.." You shrugged, a little embarrassed by the conversation topic. "I-i just don't know how he'd react."

You and Peter were a fairly new couple and were taking it slow. You'd only ever kissed, cuddled, and held hands so far. Plus, you were a major causal clothes wearer. Sweatshirts and jeans, those were your specialty. The two of you were in no rush and you were both fine with that, but you had no idea how he would react to seeing pictures of you like that.

And, though it wasn't the most feminist approach, you kinda wanted to impress him. Was that so bad?

MJ, forever the voice of patronizing reason, rolled her eyes at you. "So, let me get this straight. You're not fine with your boyfriend seeing sexy pictures of you, but you're okay with literal strangers seeing you instead?"

"Look, I know it's-"

"No, no I totally get it," she said with a sympathetic smirk, before laughing. "I just wanted to show you how dumb it sounded though."

The bell rang, signaling the end of class.

"Look," she said, standing up and getting her things. "You have nothing to be worried about. Peter practically worships the ground you walk on. He'll love it."

When you showed Ned, he genuinely didn't give a shit.

"Oh my God, there's a new Megan Thee Stallion album?!"

"Uh, yeah."

"I have to listen to it right now!"

"Yeah okay, but do you like the-"

He was already plugging in his headphones before you even finished your sentence.

You showed Harry next. If anyone was gonna rate you unabashedly, it'd definitely be him.

He was the only friend you had in your lunch period, so you met up with him every day. Towards the end of lunch that day, you'll pulled out your phone and asked if he wanted to see the video. He enthusiastically agreed.

He watched the short video with an amused expression, bopping his head to the music all the while.

When it ended, he handed you your phone back and gave you a high-five. "Damn girl!," he praised. "Just throwing it out there, if Peter fails you, I'm hella available."

"Heh, thanks." You smiled as you felt your entire face heat up. "Ya think he'll like it?"

"What, you haven't shown him yet?" You shook her head, giving a nervous smile. "Oh-" he nodded confidently. "-he'll love it. Trust me."

"Are you sure?," you asked.

"Yeah," he responded with a shrug. "Why are you so worried?"

"Because he's not-..he doesn't really seem-" You couldn't find the right words for it. "I dunno, I just really want him to like it!"

Harry scoffed. "Look. Let me tell you a little secret about Peter Parker," he snickered. "Or practically all guys for that matter."

"Okay?," you said, curious as to where this was going.

He smirked. "You remember when he introduced himself to you at my party last summer?"

You nodded.

"Well, hon..." Harry lowered his head to where he was whispering in your ear. "Your personality wasn't what he was noticing from across the room.. catch my drift?" He chuckled when he saw you blushing as you caught where his eyes had wandered. "Just sayin'."

Seeing your incredulous expression, Harry continued. "Peter likes to act like he's not checking you out every second of the day, but I promise you he is. That little "I'm so respectful and bashful" crap he has going is complete B.S."

You smirked and rolled your eyes as he pulled away from your ear and kept walking. "You're an ass."

Harry shrugged. "True, but I'm a realistic ass." The alarm on his phone sounded which marked his time to start heading to his next class. Standing up, he smiled down at you. "Seriously, if I could take back all the time spent listening to Pete go on about how good you look in your jeans, I'd be one well rested guy."

You rolled your eyes, but it betrayed the small smile growing. After all, he wouldn't be Harry if he wasn't a flirtatious dweeb. "Bye Harry."

"Show him the video, [Y/N]. He'll love it. You know I'm right."

And then there was one...

Later in the day, you were talking with MJ after school, waiting because Peter always insisted on driving you home because chivalry was not going to die as long as he was alive to keep it going.

When he finally showed up, the first thing he did was take you by the hand and give you a quick peck on the forehead.

"How are you guys doing?," he asked as your little trio started to walk.

"We're good," you chirped, ever so conscious of the phone in your pocket that you were suddenly very hesitant to pull out.

MJ noticed and nudged you. "You got anything you wanna show anybody, [Y/N]?," she asked with a smirk, causing Peter to look at you curiously.

You stayed quiet, but MJ still wasn't putting up with it. "I think you may have a video that you made..."

You remained silent and Peter looked at you, a lot more confused now. MJ frowned. "Um... cough.. cough."

Peter laughed and stopped walking. "Okay, what am I missing?" He looked to you and when he didn't see your expression falter, he looked to MJ. "What's going on?"

Michelle shrugged. "[Y/N] wants to show you a dumb TikTok she made but she's scared about how you'll react."

"Michelle!," you scolded.

She shrugged again. "What? You weren't going to say anything anytime soon."

"A TikTok?," Peter questioned. "Cool, which one did you do this time?"

You could feel your face heat up for the hundredth time that day. "It's a...um.." You stared down at the ground. Jesus, this was hard. "..It's a body positivity trend."

His eyebrows went up at that. "Oh, well um.. is it cool if I see it?," he asked.

You blushed. "Sure." You pulled out your phone and opened the app. When you got to the video you quickly shoved it into his face before you had a chance to second-guess yourself.

Both you and Michelle watched Peter's face as he watched the video.

His cheeks immediately turned red but his expression was unreadable. He had to have watched it over 5 times before MJ pulled the phone out of his hand. "Helloooo, earth to Peter Parker?"

She snapped into his face several times and he started to blink wildly, apparently being pulled out of a trance. "I...um- heh.."

You gave a small, nervous smile. "..did you like it?," you asked, growing confused as stared at you, his expression still the same. "Um, Peter?"

Suddenly, he smiled and let out a little chuckle. "Sorry... just..." He laughed again and scratched his head, unable to keep eye contact. "You're just- like.... really hot."

You blushed. Fuck. "You're not just saying that are you?"

"No, really like-" He looked back at the phone. "...Damn." He bit his lip. "How on earth did I get so lucky?"

"Okay, can we please get in the car before I throw up?"

The two of you looked at an uncomfortable MJ with embarrassment riddled on your faces. "Yeah, totally," you said with an awkward cough. "Sorry."

"Nice video [Y/N]," Peter murmured bashfully, opening the door of his car for you, his face still beet red. "Really nice..."

Tagging: @allegra-writes, @allegra-soleil l, @yumings, @hey-its-grey, @spideyyeet, @sunkissedspidey, @tommyunderoos, @chaoticpete, @snarky--starky, @sovereignparker, @thesherlockianavenger, @bubblebucky, @eridanuswave, @ithoughtthiswastwitterbutfr , @kidney9-9, @gwenvrse

[osita-iza]

Helloo! I like your writing a lot!! If you don’t mind can i request the rva + v, and saeran with mc who’s really sensitive? Like she cry when someone raise their voice, or when she feel someone becoming distant to them? Im sorry if my english is bad 😅 thank you!! I hope it’s not burdening you

Thank you so much anonie! Don’t worry, It wasn’t a burden at all!!! Sorry if it took longer than you wanted, I’m taking two summer classes right now, and they’ve been a lot of work these past couple weeks. As a Certified Sensitive Bitch, I found this request really interesting. I tried to make all of their stories different to keep it from being repetitive. 

I hope you enjoy it!! Requests are open <3

Possible spoilers: Jaehee’s Good/Normal Ending, some of Saeran/V/Seven’s routes. 

Warnings: Slight swearing, not much. 

RFA+V+Saeran: With a Sensitive MC (especially to yelling or distant) 

Yoosung 

He was stressed. He was just on edge. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. This exam season will determine whether or not he’s accepted to vet school. It’s normal for him to be stressed. He’s just a little stressed… 

You made dinner that night, keeping your headphones in so your music didn’t disturb him. You had finished almost all of your finals last week, only having one this week, so you decided to help him out. 

You put his dinner in front of him as you sat down across the table. You were on your phone as you ate, and he would take a bite every once in a while. 

You tried to focus on your phone. You really really did. 

...But he had literal bags under his eyes; something you hadn’t seen on him in a long time. You made dinner half an hour ago, and Yoosung had taken about two bites from it. 

“Yoosung, have you eaten anything today?” 

“What?” He glanced up from his textbook for a moment, not even long enough for you to look into his eyes. “Oh, yeah! Uh… I ate a little bit after you left earlier.” 

“I left at 9 a.m. for class,” you said, “Yoosung, you need a break. You need to eat.” 

“MC-” 

“You’re gonna burn yourself out,” you insisted, “At this rate, you’ll collapse during your exam.” 

“Can you just leave me alone? God just because you don’t know what you’re doing with your life doesn’t mean you have to drag me down with you!” He yelled. 

You weren’t sure if you were more hurt or angry; your glare mixing in with your tears. “Oh, fuck you.” 

Yoosung finally looked up at you with wide eyes. You never cussed at him. Should he be more worried about that or your tears?

You sniffled and covered your mouth, already feeling your throat burn as you tried to hold back more tears. Your hands were shaking, just wanting to scream at him about how you just cared about him, how he went for a low blow, how you needed to know that he was alright. 

Yeah… he was more worried about the tears 

“Just because you’re stressed about your exams doesn’t mean you get to yell at me,” you said with a shaking voice. 

He didn’t know what to say, so you both just stared at each other for a moment. With a sigh, you grabbed your bag and walked to the door. 

Yoosung’s mind finally caught up with his body, and he ran up to you to grab your wrist. “Wait- I- I’m so sorry!” You stared at where your hands connected. Yoosung took this as a sign to continue. “You were right. I didn’t take a break all day, and I took it out on you. Will you take a break with me... Eat with me?” 

“...I can’t deal with being yelled at.” 

He pulled you into a hug by your hand. “Then I’ll never yell at you again.” 

You were still hurt, but you could feel his promise through his hug. “Wanna eat then?” 

“Of course,” he said as he pulled back to kiss you on the forehead, “Especially since you made it, so it’s made with extra love!” 

You smiled at him as you puckered your lips, and he kissed you. 

“So you forgive me?” 

“Mostly,” you said, “I think I need a couple more kisses to fully forgive you.” 

Jaehee 

Jaehee wasn’t the type to yell 

She was raised in a household that didn’t want her. A household where her aunt always yelled. 

While everything her aunt did hurt her, it was the yelling that taught her to shut up. 

So she learned to disagree calmly. Or not at all. 

You were the one who protected her. You stood up for her. To her you were the epitome of strength. 

You looked at Jumin, one of the richest men in the country, and told him that he was being entitled with how much pointless work you gave Jaehee 

You saw the woman who would work herself to the point of passing out, and you comforted her and showed her that she wasn’t alone 

So when a customer began berating you for mixing up his drink with another customer’s (which you already apologized for and fixed), she was angry but not worried per se 

You were the strongest person she knew

She would just give you a treat after he left, and you’d be fine

You could handle yourself. 

“I just don’t understand! You have one fucking job- to make coffee and give it to customers. How do you mess that up?” His voice gradually raised in volume with every word

The anger in her body was building up with every word he said. She was debating before she heard a sniffle, and Jaehee turned around to see tears shining in your eyes

You took a deep breath and spoke in a low volume. “Sir...” 

Oh hell no... 

Her heart broke, releasing that anger throughout her body. 

“Excuse me sir,” Jaehee said, standing next to you and putting her hands on the counter between you both and the customer

“What do you want?” he said 

“You have absolutely no reason to be yelling at the employees here-” 

“She-” 

Jaehee’s glare seemed to get darker as she spoke over him. “She has already gotten you your correct drink. Offered you a refund. And apologized for the mistake. And even if she didn’t, there is no reason to yell.” 

“This doesn’t concern you.” 

“As one of the owners of this establishment, this absolutely concerns me. I will not tolerate a customer blatantly insulting someone in this premises. I have to ask you to leave, and you will not be served here in the future.” 

He stared at the both of you for a moment before he threw the coffee cop on the ground and walked out of the cafe. 

You grabbed one of the napkins and wiped at your eyes. “I’m really sorry, Jaehee,” 

She pushed your hair out of your face and held your face in her hands. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It was a simple mistake, and you apologized,” 

“No… for crying,” you sniffled. “I know I should be able to handle it-” 

Jaehee shook her head. “No, you shouldn’t have to handle or deal with people yelling at you. And you won’t ever have to deal with it when I’m around, okay?” 

“O-okay.” 

Later that night, after the cafe was closed, she would have a better conversation with you. She wanted to know exactly what set you off, how she could help you calm down if it happened again, everything. 

And she promised you -with her words and a kiss- she would never yell at you. 

She knew you would protect her, but she would protect you too. 

Your sensitivity was the reason why you were able to see the pain she was in, even through a screen 

She would not let anyone use that sensitivity against you. 

Zen 

You were both really emotional 

It’s what made Zen a good actor. It’s what made you able to understand people around you. It’s why you two were a good match, able to handle each other’s waxing and waning of moodiness. 

But while your emotions made you cry, Zen’s emotions made him loud. 

I mean, he was in a biker gang. He had to learn to be loud 

He also had a bit of a jealousy problem. And he swore up and down that your coworker had been flirting with you at the company’s holiday party

He was pacing in the living room. Some of his hair was framing his face because he kept messing with his ponytail. You were sitting at the kitchen table, just tired as you watched him. 

“Are you really telling me that you don’t know he’s into you?” he said. Zen’s voice rose in volume with every word, not quite yelling it but getting to it. 

“Because he wasn’t, Zen. I wouldn’t let someone flirt with me, do you really think that low of me?” 

“That’s not it! You’re missing the point here!” He shouted. 

It was silent, save for his deep breaths. Zen was facing the wall, and he clenched his jaw. 

“... I’ll just go home,” you said, voice croaking. 

That made him turn around, and his eyes widened as he saw the tears shining in your eyes. 

His feet and emotions turned 180 degrees. 

“No, no, no, no,” he said as you stood up. He grabbed your wrists, trying to keep you from leaving. “Please, don’t leave. Let’s talk about this.” 

“What’s there to talk about? You’ve already made up your mind,” you said, “And I’m not gonna sit here to just get yelled at,” 

“I promise I won’t yell anymore. Please…” 

You glared at him as you wiped at your eyes. “If you yell at me one more time, I’m out.” 

“I promise I won’t.” 

You sat down and talked through it- calmly this time. After you worked through the original fight, he had to ask. “Was it the yelling that made you cry?” 

“I’ve always had a problem with yelling, even as a kid. Annoyed my parents to no end,” you said, already feeling the headache coming from the tears. 

“I’ll work on that then. I won’t be the reason you cry. Never,” he said, “And you don’t have to hide your emotions from me, okay?” 

You nodded, and tried to keep yourself from crying again because of how soft his eyes looked now. “Okay.” 

“Good. Because I want to take care of my princess.” Zen smiled and kissed you. 

The only reason he wanted you to cry was because of his amazing acting performance, never anything else. 

Jumin 

His father had a new fiance, and Jumin was in charge of the contract between C&R and her family’s company 

How his father didn’t see the obvious motive in that… but the company wasn’t horrible, so Jumin decided to keep his mouth shut 

That didn’t mean he was happy about it though… 

Without realizing it, he was falling back into old habits 

Jaehee was complaining more and more in the chatrooms about the workload, which Jumin was brushing off 

He was leaving for the office earlier and earlier in the mornings. Coming home later in the evenings. He started bringing work home too, something he never did before. 

You could probably count the hours that you guys were spending together on one hand. You knew he was busy with work and it was understandable that he would be distant

But… you needed Jumin. 

You moved out of your crappy apartment with a faucet that always leaked even though you called maintenance about it at least every month into a penthouse where you could have everything taken care of with the snap of a finger 

To say it was a lot would be the understatement of the fucking century 

The only constant you had- the only thing that felt that home- was Jumin 

Maybe you should do something? To make him feel loved? 

So you told his personal chef to take the day off, you were cooking tonight 

You went to the nearest grocery store, trying to not feel like everyone was staring at you when the bodyguards followed you in. 

This grocery store was a lot more boujee than the one you went to as a kid (or an adult for that matter). One of the bodyguards could see you were just wandering down the aisles, so he took pity on you and led you to where the ingredients were. 

You thanked him profusely before you began cooking in the kitchen, which also took you a bit longer to get a hang of. 

Apparently rich people have different stoves… good to know 

Finally you finished cooking dinner, right when Jumin got home. You assumed he would be home later than he said he would… and you were right 

“Hi Jumin!” you said as he shut the door 

“Hi, love,” he sighed as he kept walking, making a beeline for his home office 

You followed him a couple of steps. “I made dinner! It was one of my favorites as a kid. I was wondering if you wanted to try it-” 

“I’m really sorry. I have a lot of work to finish up tonight. I’ll be sure to try some tomorrow.” He turned around to kiss your forehead before walking into his office, shutting the door behind him. Not even sparing you a glance. 

Your throat began burning as tears began shining in your eyes. Without a word, you walked to the living room and sat down on the couch. You covered your mouth as the tears fell. 

Of course Jumin doesn’t want to spend time with you. You can’t even keep yourself from crying because you’re not getting attention. He didn’t even do anything! He didn’t yell. Didn’t snap at you. His emotions are always in check; he’s always rational. 

Meow

Elizabeth jumped onto your lap, and you held her close to your chest as you wheezed for air. She kept meowing as she cuddled into your chest. “At least you want me around, Elizabeth,” you whispered. 

“Why is Elizabeth meowing so much? It’s distracting” Jumin asked as he walked into the living room. His eyes widening a fraction of an inch when he saw your teary face

You looked Elizabeth in the eye. “Snitch.” 

He frowned, sitting next to you. “Darling, what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, I’m just being overly emotional.” You said, pulling Elizabeth back into your chest. “It doesn’t matter.” 

Jumin frowned and put his hand on your leg, squeezing it lightly. “You were able to empathize with my emotions. Ones that I didn’t even know I had, let alone articulate. Your strength is your emotions; a strength I can never replicate. Don’t dismiss your emotions, please. Especially not with me,” 

Well now you were going to cry again. 

You leaned closer, and he wrapped his arms around you. He rubbed your back as you let out the last of your tears, leaving an imprint of your wet cheeks on his button up 

When you could finally breathe normally, you spoke up. “I went to the grocery store today- to buy things for dinner. And I was lost, but I didn’t want to ask a manager because the bodyguards were right there. And so Mr. Park ended up showing me where to go. And I come home, and it takes me half an hour to just figure out how to work the stove because there are so many knobs that do nothing, and god damn they don’t even say what temperature you’re heating up to clearly! And then I taste the food, and it tastes nothing like how it did as a kid because the ingredients aren’t the generic brand.” 

“May I ask where this is going?” Jumin furrowed his eyebrows. 

“I changed everything about my life to the point where making my favorite meal isn’t normal for me anymore,” you said, and he frowned. “Don’t get me wrong. I know that’s part of the Jumin Han package, but it’s only worth it if I’m getting Jumin Han too” 

“What do you mean?” 

“We’ve had dinner together twice this month,” you answered, “I wasn’t raised to handle this. I can only handle this if I have you. I can’t do it otherwise,” 

Jumin frowned. He kissed you slowly, making sure to savor the feeling of your lips against his. When was the last time he kissed you like this? He couldn’t remember. 

“I’m sorry, love.” 

“I know you’re busy-” 

“Still. I can’t imagine my life without you. I should be treating you as such. And I promise I will be doing better from now on.” 

You spend the night eating dinner and relaxing in the living room. 

After that night, Jumin makes sure that you both get to eat dinner at least twice a week. Nights where you both just focus on each other, and there’s no work. 

(Sidenote: Jumin’s new work-life balance trickles down to Jaehee, and she swears she would give you her first born if you ask for it because of this) 

Saeran

Being an ex-cult member came with a lot of challenges 

He had made a lot of progress. The anger and aggression he had mostly subdued as he got help, and he was proud of himself (first time he had ever felt that). He even had a job now; something he had never even dreamed of. 

But today he had like three customers scream at him. One of them even doing it in front of his manager, meaning he got an extra lecture. 

Saeran decided to walk home from work instead of taking the bus, seeing it as a way to burn off some steam and avoiding a confrontation with a stranger. 

He groaned as he got home and took his shoes off before he heard the TV show pause. 

Shit. 

He forgot today was your day off. 

He went to rush into your bedroom, avoiding the living room you were sitting in, but you followed him in with a smile, wanting to talk to your boyfriend. “Hi Saeran. How was work?” 

Saeran clenched his jaw. His immediate reaction to scream. Instead he clenched his fists. He couldn’t yell at you. He couldn’t lose his temper with you. He couldn’t. 

“Rough day.” 

He sat on the bed, and you frowned from the other side of the bed. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you asked, voice soft. 

He rested his elbows on his knees, dropping his face into his hands. His hands were shaking already. “I think I need to be alone right now.” 

“Okay… if you change your mind I’ll be in the liv-” 

“For the love of god, would you shut up?” he yelled, not even sure where it came from himself, “I already told you to leave me alone, so could you fucking listen for once in your life?” 

It was silent, save for your deep breathing. You turned around, shutting the door behind you. 

He felt nauseous. 

You were incredibly patient with him, almost more patient than Saeyoung. You didn’t ask for a lot. You just told him that you couldn’t handle yelling, never had, and you probably never will. It always made you scared. 

You didn’t outright tell him not to yell at you, but he figured out that’s what you meant when you said it quietly to him one night. 

And he promised himself he would never do that to you. Saeran put you through enough already; he couldn’t scare you now. 

Saeran took a shaky breath. His body both tense and loose at the same time. He couldn’t relax, but he also wasn’t in control of his body. 

He sat on the bed for who knows how long before he stood up, ready to apologize. 

The TV was still paused in the same time as before, and you weren’t in the living room. 

His heart began racing. 

What if you left? Were you safe? Did you leave him? Did he ruin this in the matter of minutes? 

Saeran’s hands gripped onto the cushions of the couch as anxiety took over his body. 

Then he heard a sniffle and a gasp coming from the bathroom. It was clear what you were doing. He felt both worse and better. 

Saeran knocked on the bathroom door, and the whispering noises somehow got quieter. “Can I come in?” 

Your voice croaked. “It’s open.” 

His heart tightened as he opened the door. Your eyes were puffy and red. Tears still attached to your eyelashes. “...Hi” you muttered, refusing to look at him, instead focused on the towel in your lap. You must have used that to muffle yourself. 

“I- I’m sorry. I was trying to keep myself from yelling, but I lost control when I shouldn’t have. I know I shouldn’t have. I’m so sorry…” 

You nodded, still refusing to look at him. He wanted to hug you. Pull you in, rub your back, stroke your hair and promise you that it would never happen again. But he had promised himself that it would never happen in the first place before. 

You were always the one comforting him. This was the first time he had done it for you, made even worse that he was the reason you needed to be comforted. 

You let out a whimper and wiped away your oncoming tears. “Yelling just scares me and hearing it from you-” 

Saeran stepped towards you, grabbing your shoulder and pulling you against his torso. You could feel how tense he was; you were practically leaning against a wooden plank. He was really trying. 

“I… I promise I’ll try better next time. I don’t like you being scared of me or seeing you like this and knowing it was me. It won’t happen again,” 

You looked up at him, and he patted your head on instinct. You furrowed your eyebrows, too confused to really be scared anymore. 

If anything was gonna make Saeran seem less scary, it was gonna be his concerned eyes as he struggled to comfort you. “You’re trying right now, huh?” 

“I am. And I promise I’ll try harder.” 

“Can I have a kiss?” 

He leaned down and kissed you. “Do you want to go watch TV? So I can make it up to you.” 

You nodded and as you cuddled into his side, holding onto his hand tightly, Saeran pulled out his phone. 

He wrote out an email to his therapist: 

Can we move up my appointment? 

He was gonna try better. He wouldn’t do this again. 

V

January 26th… The week of their anniversary

Or at least it would’ve been

Don’t get it twisted. He loved you. More than he had ever loved anyone else before. He would never trade his experiences with you for her. 

But it was the week of their anniversary. 

That Sunday was supposed to be their wedding date. 

Monday was explainable. 

People just want their alone time sometimes 

So was Tuesday… 

And Wednesday… sort of 

But four days of your boyfriend that you lived with not talking to you?

That was not alright 

You made more of an effort Friday, hoping that if you pushed him for a conversation, he would speak up about whatever was bothering him 

You both had been home for about five hours now. You had tried starting a conversation about ten different times. 

You couldn’t anymore. 

If you talked again, your voice would probably crack. So you went into the bathroom, cried it out, and went to bed early. 

Both you and V were praying for this week to end. 

Sunday was their anniversary, and V told himself that everything would be normal afterwards. 

But Saturday was your breaking point 

When V left for rehearsal, you got your phone, dialed Seven’s number, and sat down on your bed. 

“Hey ho! What’s up, MC?” 

Does Seven even know?... “Has V told you anything this week?” 

“What?” Seven asked, and you could hear him shuffling around on the other end. “Is something wrong?” 

Shit you were already crying. You wiped at your nose and sniffled to clear it. “N-Nothing. He’s just been really quiet this past week, so I was worried.” 

“Quiet?” 

“Yeah, he hasn’t really talked to me at all really,” you confessed. Hating that your tears were running down your face. Holding in your emotions was like trying to stop a tsunami with a spoon. Your voice cracked, and you hoped that Seven was dumb enough -just this once- to just let it slide. “I was just wondering if he talked to you about anything that I should be worried about.” 

“MC, are you crying?” he asked. 

“Is that a yes or no, Seven?” 

“MC-” 

“Seven!” you snapped back before covering your mouth to keep any sounds from escaping. “I’m sorry for yelling. But has he?” 

“No…” 

“Okay, thanks for talking to me though. I hope you have a nice day.” You heard him try to say your name, but you hung up before he could finish. He called a couple more times, but you ignored it. 

You cleaned yourself up and went to work 

Your chest was heavy when you got home, and V cleared his throat as you took off your shoes 

“Hi,” you said, “Have you picked what to have for dinner?” 

He stared at you for a moment with furrowed eyebrows. “Uh… I was stuck between the Chinese place and pizza place.” 

“I’m good with either.” 

It was silent for a few moments as you went through the mail, avoiding looking at him. “I talked with Luciel today.” 

There it was… 

“Can we talk?” 

You nodded and sat down at the table. 

You spoke up before he could. “Why have you been distant this week?” 

“My anniversary and expectant wedding date with Rika is Sunday,” V explained, “I was reminded of her, and my first instinct was to distance myself again.” 

You wanted to be mad at him, but you understood it. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m… getting better. I wouldn’t say I’m good, but better than the beginning of this week,” V said 

You took a deep breath, hating the burning in your throat as tears appeared in your eyes. “You could’ve just said that, and I wouldn’t have pushed you to talk more about it,” you breathed out and wiped at your face, “I thought…” 

He furrowed his eyebrows and grabbed your hand. “You thought what?” 

“Sometimes I worry that you’re only with me because I was conveniently there when you were going through everything,” you confessed. And he felt his chest tighten. “So when you did pull away from me, even though it was just for a moment… I was scared.... I was scared that you realized that too,” 

He leaned over and kissed you, tasting the salt from your tears. “I promise, I love with all my heart. I appreciate that you were there for me, and I cared about you then. But I’ve fallen in love with you a little bit every day, over and over and over again since then,” 

You smiled at him as crying took over again, and you wrapped your arms around his neck. He held you as tears wet his shirt, rubbing your back as you did. “I love you,” you said into his neck, the words garbled. 

“I love you too,” V whispered. “And I’ll remind you of that everyday if I need to.”

Saeyoung

Saeran was hurting right now. Saeyoung knew that. He was just scared. It was scary to be in the mental health ward. To be away from Mint Eye, all he knew for years. 

But when Saeran yelled at him… That he abandoned his brother. He hurt everyone around him. That Saeran was better dead than with his brother. 

That Saeyoung didn’t deserve love. The only thing he was good at was corrupting people. 

… It was hard to not let it sink in. 

Because Saeran was just saying everything Saeyoung had told himself before. 

So Saeyoung was silent as he drove home. You and Vanderwood were working today, so he was silent as he cooked dinner. 

And he was silent when you came home. Only saying hi and that dinner was done before grabbing his plate and eating at his desk. 

There was a pit in your stomach as you followed him. “Is something wrong?” 

“No.” 

“Then why are you avoiding me?” you asked. 

“God. Why are you even still here?” he snapped, turning to look at you. His eyes weren’t even angry just… empty. “You had your party. Mint Eye is gone. The agency isn’t after me… so why are you still here?”

And then he turned around to face his screen again. 

That pit in your stomach had traveled all across your body. And god was it heavy. 

Your throat burned. 

The walls were closing in on you. 

And there was Seven. Just sitting at his desk typing. 

You wrapped your arms around you. Making yourself smaller, as if that would save you from the suffocation. 

You were just frozen. Slowly you stepped out of your shared room and walked to the front door. 

Silent, just like he was, you stepped outside. 

As if the fresh air was caffeine, your body woke up, letting the tears run down your face. 

You stumbled into the lawn outside and sat down, letting the damp grass cool your burning skin. You covered your mouth as you sobbed. 

Over and over again. Sobs and whimpers, muffled by your hand, would rack your body. You would finally calm down and take a deep breath. And the coldness would burn your throat and set you off again. 

A headache echoed in your head as you laid on the grass, staring up at the stars. Finally too exhausted to keep up the crying. They reminded you of Saeyoung. 

Fuck him for ruining stars for you. 

“What the hell are you doing, kid?” Vanderwood asked as he crouched next to your laying body. 

“Looking at the stars.” Your voice was raspy, barely there after your meltdown. 

“Are you okay?” they asked as they sat down next to you. “It’s late, ya know? It’s not safe out here.” 

“I’m not going inside.” 

“Hey-” 

“Thanks for your concern.” 

With a huff, they stood up, and you heard the security questions before the door opened. It shut. Crickets. 

The door opened again. And someone sat next to you with a sigh. You’d recognize that cologne anywhere. You pulled your knees up to your chest and wrapped your arms around them, refusing to look at him. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things.” 

“It’s not even what you said. It’s how you said it,” you responded, still avoiding his gaze. “It was like we were back in that fucking apartment.” 

“What?” 

“I was back in that fucking apartment. There was a bomb, a kidnapper, and you refused to even look at me. Everything was out of control. I felt like the exact same bomb was in the bunker back there. It was just happening around me- to me. All I could do was just wait. Just sit there waiting!” 

Unlike before, where he didn’t want to say, now he couldn’t speak. What was he going to say? Was there something he could say?

You were so calm the entire time you were at the apartment. Crying only after Saeran broke in. At least the only time he saw. How many times did you cry when he wasn’t looking? He thought he was the only one freaking out because you seemed to only be focused on him. 

But you couldn’t control the bomb. Couldn’t stop Saeran. Stop Rika. Couldn’t even tell the RFA the truth. 

But you wanted to help him. That was the only thing you could do. 

Seven didn’t see the panic attacks in the shower. Or you crying into your pillow. 

“I can’t do this again Seven. I can handle all of it. But not this. I can’t just sit here and watch you do this all over again. Over and over and over again! I can’t-” You sobbed, and Seven pulled you into his chest. 

He shut his eyes to keep his own tears from falling. Your back rose up and down as you gasped for air, his shirt becoming wet. 

Seven rubbed your back slowly and kissed the top of your head. You pulled away; your eyes finally dry. “I won’t push you away again. I promise I won’t cut you out.” 

“Saeyoung…” you mumbled. 

“No. I mean it,” he said. “I’ll do whatever it takes. I won’t shut you out again. I won’t make you go through that again.” 

He looked you in the eye with a smile that disappeared for a moment. “I promise, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

“Do you want to stay out here or go inside?” 

“I want to stay out here a little longer.” 

“That’s fine.” He held your hand as you laid out on the grass again

[tasteslikepepsicola]

I Know What You Did Last Summer Part 2 (Sodapop Curtis x Reader, Dallas Winston x Reader)

Authors Note: I can’t believe I disappeared so long after posting the first part, I’m so sorry, I have so much motivation to write now and the next part might even be up in the next few days. Again, I’m so sorry for the wait but I hope you like it. I love the concept for this series, (as you can tell I really like love triangles) and I hope you guys do to! Also, might change my username soon, but I’ll keep you updated. Make sure to follow so you can stay up to date with the series! Thanks again <3

Warnings: Cursing, slight angst, implied smut

Word Count: 1,600+

One month later…

After Sodapop had dropped her off that night, nothing had been the same. They hadn’t been in contact since then, and it was finally starting to hit the two that they were no longer together. That didn’t make it any easier, however, on either of them. Both lied awake at night wondering when they lost what they used to have, gazed at their ceiling wondering what they could have done differently. And both would have given anything for another chance at loving each other. But Y/N knew that wasn’t her place anymore. She lost the right to love Sodapop the moment she gave her love to someone else, while he was at home waiting for her. And worse, she lied about it. She hoped he never forgave her, she didn’t deserve it.

Meanwhile, Sodapop reminded himself of this fact every time his mind wandered off to her...which was often. He couldn’t be with someone who could betray him like that, it wouldn’t be fair to himself. But he also wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand being away from her. She was like his oxygen, without her around, he couldn’t breathe.

Avoiding each other wasn’t hard. Y/N started getting her gas elsewhere, and Sodapop took a different route to work that didn’t require passing her house.

Y/N was sitting in the booth of their local diner when her friend pointed to a pair of boys who walked through the door. “Ain’t that Sodapop’s kid brother?” she asked.

Y/N whipped her head around quickly, noticing Ponyboy and Johnny as they started walking towards them. “Act normal,” Y/N muttered through a forced smile. They walked past the girls towards an empty booth a few seats in front of them. Neither acknowledged her presence, though she was sure they must have seen her staring at them. 

After a few agonizing minutes, the waitress brought them their check, and Y/N decided to try to get out of there as fast as she could. She didn’t need to say anything for her friend to catch on, she didn’t know much about their breakup, but could tell it was an awkward situation. As they wordlessly stood up to leave, Y/N felt a hand lightly grab her arm.

“Y/N?” Ponyboy asked, now standing behind her.

“Oh, hey Pony…” her voice trailed off.

“Sorry- uh, can we just talk for a minute?” he asked through the biting awkwardness of the whole situation.

Y/N glanced at her friend, who only said, “I’ll pull the car around, come out when you’re ready to leave” and then scurried away quickly.

The greaser boy and her sat down at the table she had been sitting at. Johnny still sat a few seats down, more focused on his lunch than the situation happening a few feet away. 

“What’s up?” Y/N tried to ask casually.

“Sodapop…” Pony started. “He’s- he’s real messed up about this whole thing. He keeps saying he doesn’t want to talk about it, but I know he hasn’t slept right in a month. I know he misses you.”

Y/N felt her heart break as he continued. How could she do this to someone so good? Someone who had never, who would never hurt her. What was wrong with her?

“Be straight with me, Y/N, please. What happened between you two?” his voice dropped low, like he was expecting the worst.

“I-” Y/N couldn’t find the right words. “I made a mistake. And it’s not something that can be forgiven.” she fought back tears she hadn’t realized that were building as she spoke.

“You- you cheated on him?” Ponyboy concluded, anger suddenly rising within the young boy.

“I don’t know. I thought we were broken up...maybe we weren’t. But it doesn’t matter. Sodapop will never forgive me, I don’t even forgive me. We both just need to forget about it. Me, him, Dallas...whatever, the only way this can get better is if I stay away from him.” Y/N couldn’t meet the greasers eyes, feeling nothing but shame and pain.

“Dallas? Dallas Winston? That's who-” Ponyboy stopped himself, almost on the verge of yelling at her. But he couldn’t, not in front of all these people, not at a girl, he knew that wasn’t right.

Y/N looked at the boy she used to consider a little brother, the boy who used to idolize her. The boy who used to question Sodapop about why he wouldn’t just marry her already. Now, he looked at her like he didn’t know who she was anymore.

“I got to go.” He mumbled.

“Ponyboy!” Y/N yelled after him, but he was already walking away. People looked their way, startled by the sudden scene that was coming from their table. Hot tears began to roll down her cheeks, she wiped them as she stood and got out of there as fast as she could.

When she got in the car out front, her friend asked, “Woah! What the hell happened in there?”

Y/N didn’t answer, instead she only said, “Don’t take me home. Drop me off at Buck’s. I need to talk to someone.”

*****

The whole ride there, she had rehearsed what she was going to say. Now, standing outside the notorious party spot, Y/N suddenly felt very self conscious. She tried to remain determined as she banged on the door. Nobody answered. She continued to pound on the door, finally crying out, “Dallas Winston I know you’re in there! I need to talk to you!”

She then heard footsteps clambering down the stairs. The dark haired boy opened the door quickly, grabbing her arm and dragging her inside.

“What the fuck?” she quipped.

“Sorry…” he mumbled, lighting a cigarette as he spoke. “Shepard’s pissed at me, gotta lay low for a bit.”

As she stood there, arms crossed and pouting, everything she had mentally practiced saying to him in the car had escaped her mind.

“What do you want doll? Why are you just standing there looking at me like that?” he smirked slightly as he spoke.

“Don’t play dumb Winston, I know you know what happened.” she vented.

“What? Something happen with your boyfriend?” he mused.

“I know you know we broke up.”

“Yeah I might have heard something about that.”

“Well...he knows.”

“Knows what?”

She rolled her eyes, angered at his desire to play dumb. “Don’t make me say it.”

“Y/N, of course I know he knows we slept together. He didn’t give me a black eye and split lip for no reason.” 

Y/N swallowed her words, shocked at what she was hearing. Sodapop didn’t fight.

“I could’ve taken that pretty boy, but I figured I deserved it. And no, nobody else knows, not even the gang, if that's what you're worried about. Your reputation is safe.”

“Fuck you, Winston.”

“You already did.” he replied with another grin.

Y/N turned to leave, yelling, “You’re a terrible person! You know that?”

“Newsflash, honey, it takes two people to cheat.”

She turned back around, anger spilling over, “I hate you! I had a perfect boyfriend before what happened. My life was perfect, I was probably gonna marry him.”

“Alright little Miss. Perfect, I get it, I’m the cause of all your problems, you hate me. What do you want me to do about it? Why are you even here?” his voice remained calm.

“I want you to apologize, to say sorry for once in your life for fucking up!” she yelled, stepping closer to him.

“I’m sorry, I truly am, sorry to Sodapop, for sleeping with his girl. But I’m not gonna apologize for what happened between us, because honestly, I’m not.” he replied, the distance between the two getting slimmer.

“God, what is your problem?” she asked.

“You wanna know what my problem is? It’s you! You were all over me that night, I didn’t just fuck you, I was there for you. You were crying when you walked in, you told me what happened and I listened.”

She shook her head, trying to ignore what he was saying, trying to avoid replaying the night in her mind.

“And you kissed me. And we got together, and the next day you just left. And went back to him. And I had to watch as you pretended like nothing happened. As he hugged and kissed and held you. And now, you show up here blaming me. So yeah, you are my problem.”

“He was my boyfriend!” She fought back tears for the second time that day.

“Why’d you avoid me?” he questioned.

“Are you kidding me?” she cried.

“No, why the fuck did you avoid me? Obviously it wasn’t guilt, you were fine lying to him. So why? Why couldn’t you be in the same room as me? Even without him there?”

She shook her head, “I’m not doing this.” She tried to pull away, but he caught her elbow and kept her there.

“I think I know why now, Y/N, because you and I both know you stopped loving him before that night, or else you wouldn’t have done what you did. You avoided me cause it was easier than facing the reality of the situation.”

“You’re wrong…” she said.

“Deep down, you know you don’t hate me, not even close, doll.”

She raised her hand, to slap him, he caught her wrist and said, “Prove me wrong then, leave if you want, I’m not gonna stop you. But, just so you know, I want you to stay.”

He started to pull away, then, and Y/N didn’t know what came over her, but she grabbed him, and smashed her lips on his. Without a second of hesitation, he reciprocated. His hands traveled to her thighs, he lifted her up, and she responded by wrapping her legs around his waist.

They didn’t move from that position until they were in his bedroom, and he was slamming her onto his bed.

[holycow99]

石田お寿司 12/9/21 stream translation Part 12

This is not the full translation of the stream. I only translated the parts I could understand & interpret or parts I found interesting/important. I’m still a beginner in Japanese, so the translations may not be accurate. If you want to repost, please repost at your own risk.

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(t/n: ** means translation may not be accurate.)

C: From your perspective, are editors someone who nurture (mangakas)? Are they gonna continue to be a presence who shape a part of you?

I: Nurturing? I don’t even aware of it at all. I think that applies to each other. I think both shape a part of each other as the relationship deepens. The editor gives feedback and the writer fixes the story based on the feedback. That’s how a work is created. I think both are shaping a part of one another. The writer and the editor becomes that kind of existence to each other and that’s how they both grow and change on their own accord. I don’t think they help writers grow though. To me, helping a human to grow is presumptuous/stupid.

(t/n: The word ‘okagamashii’ means both presumptuous and stupid. I’m not sure which one of them was he referring to in this context. You can interpret it as you like.)

I: Is the next Choujin X gonna be release soon?

I: Yeah. I forgot how to draw it in the middle of drawing the draft, so it took me some time.

*Ishida mentioned that he’s finding time to do both choujin x and animal rap, as well as drawing JJ’s illustrations.

C: I’m happy there’s a lot of streaming videos lately.

I: There’s not a lot lately, since I went away for a while. Maybe the duration was actually shorter than I thought it was.

C: Let’s stream until noon.

I: Well…it depends on the situation. I do think of that. I can’t help but do my work during streaming. Just like what I’m doing currently. If I play games, I’ll just play and then when it’s over, I can just end the stream. But when I’m doing my work, I don’t know when I should end it. I’ve no choice but to finish my work. In other words, I’ll be streaming until I’m done with my manuscript. For me, doing that is good because my work can progress. It’s like I’m being monitored. For a period of time, OPM’s artist, Murata sensei did that before but he quit for few reasons. I think it’s good to feel like you’re being monitored. Hamada Yoshikasu sensei did that as well. He pretty much streamed him working everyday. I’m not sure whether he’s still doing it.

C: Do stream every night.

I: That’s a bit…This is also difficult for me to do. I like making plans on what I should do. For example, “what I should do for this and that day?” or “what if I do this with this pace?”, but to actually follow the plan is hard. You’d feel lazy on the very day you had a plan. People who thoroughly follow their plans are admirable, aren’t they? It’s not like I have the need to follow it. But then, I wish to be able to do that.

C: If you get bored drawing the background, I want you to stream while you’re working on it even if it’s on irregular basis.

I: For the background, I must finish doing them all at once, if not it’ll take a few days. There’s a limit to what kind of work I can stream. I don’t want really wanna show me working on the latest chapter. It’s the latest chapter, after all. I’ll show the chapter after I’ve drawn it properly. This one is basically me fixing the chapter 2, so it’s fine.

C: It’ll be nice if there’s a notice before the stream on the day itself.

I: I see. It’ll be easier to watch if there’s a notice. You can arrange your time. But then, it depends on my mood. I‘d feel sorry if I suddenly don’t wanna stream, but you guys are already excitedly waiting for it. So, I’ll just do it randomly.

C: I can prepare some sweets if there’s a notice beforehand.

I: Well…Maybe I’ll at least give notice on that very day. If I really wanna stream, then I might let you guys know beforehand.

I: The 30,000 commemoration. I might not do anything for it. But I’ll keep that as a memory. Even someone like me can have that amount of subscribers with this kind of content. I’m thankful for that.

C: I turn on my notification, so it doesn’t matter if you tell us beforehand or not.

I: Oh, really? Then, I’ll do it as I like. It’s better If there’s a notice. Well, I’ll do it if I feel like it.

C: This is random, but I only turned on your tweet notification.  

I: Sometimes, I forgot to update on my twitter though. I update it when I’m streaming.

C: 30,000 subscribers is amazing! It’s more than the number of people in my home town.

I: That’s true. If you think about it that way, then 30,000 is amazing.

*Someone wanted Ishida to stream the drawing of the Choujin X’s volume’s cover, but he said it’ll be hard to do that.

C: For me, I like for the cover to be a surprise.

I: Hm…I probably think so too.

I: For me, regarding choujin x, I want everything about it, such as the drafts, to be a secret. If I got to do another manga, then I might…ah, but that probably wouldn’t be possible due to my personality. I do kinda want to be monitored when I’m drawing difficult stuffs. It seems to be efficient for me that way. It could make me feel motivated if you guys watching me draw them.

*The adult comment came back.

I: Can I do something about it? It’s probably just random comments. Report or timeout? What’s timeout for? Should I try time it out this time? Did it time out?

*The comment finally gone. It’s troublesome though. I have to do something about the comment every single time. I should leave it to the dark moderator.

I: It did!

*Ishida mentioned that he’d timeout this one fan if they commented something unpleasant.

C: That could be a reward itself.

I: What? Me banning that person? That’s already a stalker attitude. You mean it’s because I noticed them, right? There must be such people. But what a pitiful person if that’s the only way for them to be noticed by others. Doing what the other party dislikes, then seeing their unpleasant reaction. Being happy just by the fact that the other party reacted to them is already a lost cause. Don’t wanna be that kind of person, right?

C: It’s amazing how you can have a phone call with someone everyday.

I: It depends on the occasion. Like when you really feel the need to talk or when you’re having a tough time. I too had times when I randomly just called someone because I couldn’t concentrate working. When I thought it’d be good for me to work while conversing, then I’d call someone. But the other person also has their own life, if this happens continuously, even if they say okay, they must be actually enduring it. I mostly speak to my work-related friend.

C: Being a mangaka is a lonely job, isn’t it?

I: Yeah, you’re right. This is also another difficult issue. It might get harder to confront my work if I spend more time with others. So, especially, recently, I tried to get myself more motivated. I’ve isolated myself around until the end of summer, but as I thought, working with people is easier for me, mentally speaking. I have somebody to listen to me and I feel less pressured, that is, they give me some kind of advice and I can apply them.

C: Do you consult with the editor in charge when you’re at loss?

I: I think I do. I did consult with Mr. Matsuo at the beginning. But then, I think it’s important to resolve your problems on your own. I do think I have a lot of people I can consult with, and that’s totally fine, but I don’t want to do that. I want to find the answers that I’m completely satisfied with by myself. So, I hold myself back from seeking others’ advice. I did ask Ms. Towada about stuffs on JJ when I had some questions since she gave good answers.

I: Well, I wanna work on this manga randomly. And by ‘random’, I don’t mean sloppily. I wanna work on this manga in a way that’s appropriate for both the work and I. So, I thought it’d be better for me to seek less advice or opinions from others. I’ll do differently if this way isn’t working.

C: You’re a wise person.

I: Obviously. Hahaha. Of course. It’s because I keep thinking about things like this. I hope you find my words useful.

*He then mentioned that he preferred the way of doing things randomly, but it might not be suitable for certain people. However, it’s okay to seek advice.

*Ishida recalling the conversation he had with Ms. Towada regarding Hoshi Sandek.

I: “Hoshi and Arima look similar, right?”.

T: “Have you seen how Arima Kishou looks like?”.

I: “Yes, I have… They look similar, right?”

T: “You mean their characters’ overlapped?”

I: “Not that.”

T: “Hmm….”

I: Hahaha. What do you guys think? Do Sandek and Arima look similar?

C: Are you a TG bandwagon fan?

I: Hahaha. I might’ve never read it properly. But I legit did read TG recently. I’m not kidding. I took a look at it again. I’m thinking of accepting TG. It’s not that I don’t. I wanna accept it more. All said and done, I’m really glad I wrote TG. It’s good that I have something to leave behind. It’s definitely a good thing.

C: Have you ever played Red Dead Redemption 2? (comment in eng.)

I: Like I said, short time. Short time? Little time. (Speaking in eng) I wanna play it though. I wanna play more, but I’ve no time. Too busy.

C: I think Hoshi is actually what Sui looks like. (comment in eng.)

I: She’s saying Hoshi looks similar to me. Are you kidding me?

*Ishida looking for another page to draw.

I: Please take a look at this version of the chapter in the magazine. This will be in the comic as well, probably. They’re both the same.

C: Sensei, are you gonna sleep after this?

I: Nope. I’ll probably check whether Hitman’s already downloaded after I end the stream. After that, I’ll eat and then finish up my upcoming work. I need to add colour for the pages. And I kinda wanna draw an illustration. Have you guys seen Itaewon Class on Netflix? It’s from a Korean webtoon. It’s been made into a drama and I was super addicted to it.

C: Park Saeroyi? (The name of the drama’s mc)

I: Yes. That one. He’s really cool. That hairstyle. I wanna draw Park Saeroyi, if can. There’s this sassy kinda girl in the story, right? That girl is a total beauty. Yi Seo. (t/n: Yi Seo is the FL’s name.)

I: I wanna draw real humans. I’ve been drawing them lately, not that it’s a problem, since I’ve been drawing manga only.

C: She is pretty!!

I: I know right. She’s gorgeous.

I: I read a little bit of the original work, and it pretty much the same as the drama, so I thought the original work was amazing. But then, the Japanese version changed it into Roppongi Class. It’s a different vibe… Does it really matter if it’s in Itaewon? They changed it to suit Japanese readers. Was it the Line Manga or was it not? I don’t remember, but they did that. Just let it be in Itaewon or Korea. I was like “Don’t f*** with me!”.

C: Marunouchi Class.

I: Haha. I’m drawing that. Marunouchi Class. (t/n: Marunouchi is a commercial district in Tokyo.)

I: Itaewon is better. There’s no such place in Roppongi. I’m not familiar with Roppongi though. It may have places like this, but it’s better to showcase the vibes of Korea. Itaewon is a place packed with foreigner. It’s a miscellaneous street. It’s close to Roppongi now that I’ve put it that way. But still…Those who subscribe to Netflix, I recommend you to watch Itaewon Class. They only shot scenes that were important, so it’s really easy to follow the story. Such a beautiful drama. There were quite a lot of cliché moments, but there were also some unexpected twists in those moments, so it pulled you in. Korean entertainment is far ahead.

*The assistant guy finally went to sleep.

I: Oh, you’re gonna sleep now? You definitely can’t oversleep. Don’t mention my name as well. Haha. Do your best as an assistant. Okay, after he left, everyone takes a screenshot. I’m gonna send it to his boss.

C: Sensei, do you read the manga “This is Good”?

I: I don’t. Is it an ecchi manga? Is it the one in Tonari Young Jump? Is it the one with beautiful drawing probably? I wanna try reading it. I need to cultivate (?) and boost the popularity of Tonari Young Jump. I’d like to take on that mission.

I: Has Mr. assistant slept already?

C: I won’t sleep then.

I: It’s okay 2x. Please sleep. Don’t worry 2x. Nothing’s gonna happen. If you’re worried, you can watch it later.

I: I just thought of the number 1 prank he shouldn’t do. I wanted to ask him to draw shit on the manuscript. I wanted him to leave my mark on the background. But that’s definitely a no-no. It’ll be a problem. However, that kind of assistants do exist. Not a lot, but there are assistants that play around.

Part 13

[thefinalcinderella]

Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru Chapter 4 - The Track Meet (Part 1)

Full list of translations here

Previous | Next

The period from spring to early summer was the season for tournaments; it seemed that every week there was a track meet organized by a university or an athletic meet sponsored by a corporation.

With track meets being their immediate goal, there was also more commitment to practice. Now only Prince and King jogged with Kiyose in the mornings and evenings. Everyone else was now actively completing the training regimen, with Kiyose almost never having to drag them out of bed anymore.

Kiyose casually instructed them according to each of their personalities. For Shindou, who found joy in steadily completing quotas, he created a detailed regimen, and he responded to discussions about training methods until the scholarly Yuki was convinced. Jouta got more motivated when he was praised, so Haiji frequently cheered him on during training, and for Jouji, who ran even if left alone, he purposely didn’t bring up any topic related to running.

Kiyose basically let the residents run however they liked. He thoroughly explained the plan for the training to them and only gave a little advice on what was needed. That way, he skillfully brought out each resident’s motivation. Kakeru felt like he was seeing magic. Without coercion, without setting up penalties, Kiyose waited so patiently to an almost persistent degree until they felt like running. Until now, Kakeru hadn’t known there was such a way of doing things.

If Haiji-san had been my coach when I first started doing track, maybe I could have been a faster runner by now. That was what Kakeru thought. In fact, the residents of Chikusei-sou were slowly but certainly shrinking their times.

On the other hand, Kiyose’s attitude also felt too lenient. The people he was dealing with were impromptu runners; no better than amateurs. He had to have them train even harder or they wouldn’t be good enough for the qualifiers. Kakeru was irritated, wondering if Haiji really was serious about going to the Hakone Ekiden.

“Most of you have now gained the ability to safely run five-thousand meters in under seventeen minutes,” Kiyose said to the gathered residents, who were in the midst of having a drinking party in the twins’ room. No matter how exhausted they got from training, everyone drank together once every ten days—there were no non-drinkers in Chikusei-sou. Since they were a group that liked alcohol, when everyone drank together it was good stress relief in and of itself.

“It’s just that we have many beginners here. You’re probably also worried for your first race. I’ve signed us up for some track meets, so just take it easy and get a time under seventeen minutes at some point.”

Prince, who was reading a manga next to Kakeru, stealthily asked, “Why is Haiji-san so fixated on seventeen minutes?”

“You need an official record of five-thousand meters within seventeen minutes in order to participate in the Hakone Ekiden qualifiers,” Kakeru whispered to Prince, who didn’t seem to have remembered any of the rules at all. “We’re participating in official tournaments and track meets in order to get that official record.”

“Did you forget that even though it was explained before?” The rim of Yuki’s glasses glittered, as though he was saying, But you sure do remember manga titles well. “No matter how you look at it, it seems like Haiji’s strategy is only focused on participating in the qualifiers.”

“It seems like it.” Kakeru nodded at Yuki’s words.

“Well, I also think that’s reasonable, though.” Yuki somberly took off his glasses and wiped his lenses with a handkerchief that didn’t have a single wrinkle. “Kakeru, shouldn’t you be in an intercollegiate?”

Kakeru was silent. Instead, Prince asked, “What’s an intercollegiate?” Yuki immediately went over to the corner of the room where Nico-chan was making wire dolls. Prince was still waiting for an answer, his manga open in his hands.

“It’s a track-and-field championship between universities,” Kakeru said. “The Kanto Intercollegiate is in May, and the All-Japan Intercollegiate is in July.”

“Why don’t we join too?”

“It’s a tournament for top-level student runners, so the base time that’s the standard for participation is stricter than for the Hakone qualifiers.”

“Hmm,” Prince seemed puzzled and returned his gaze to the manga on his lap. “But Kakeru, you can clear that time, right?”

Of course he could. However, Kakeru ended the conversation with only a vague smile.

Kiyose passed around a handout to the residents, who were all sitting wherever they liked. It had the schedule of various track meets organized by universities and Kakeru immediately put the paper down on the tatami mats like it was something awfully heavy. He was hesitant to go to a track meet, much less an intercollegiate; the people who he was with on his high school track team would surely be in places where strong schools gathered, and Kakeru still didn’t want to face his old teammates yet.

Kiyose continued to explain with the paper in hand.

“First is the Tokyo Sport University track meet. The Douchidou University track meet is at the start of May. The Kikui University meet is two weeks later. If those don’t work out, there’s a TSU meet again at the end of June. I want you all to take your time breaking through the seventeen-minute wall, without rushing.”

 “There’s meets during Golden Week?”

“The end of June is rainy season. I don’t wanna run in the rain.”

Jouta and Jouji complained, but it was all talk. Because they were already gaining confidence in training as it was, their eyes were filled with a determination that said “I’ll definitely get a time within seventeen minutes at the earliest stage!”

“But, if you want to take part in the intercollegiate, you’ll need to go full throttle starting from the first TSU meet. The deadline for creating a standard participation record for the intercollegiate is this meet,” Kiyose said. “We won’t get intercollegiate points, but as track athletes, it’s important to join intercollegiate competitions. What do you think, Kakeru?”

Kiyose had called out to him, but Kakeru’s mind was elsewhere. When he was asked another question—“Kakeru, what’s wrong?”—his gaze jumped up from the handout.

“No, it’s nothing.”

“Hey, hey, what’s an intercollegiate point?” Because Jouji asked that, Kakeru was able to escape from Kiyose’s probing gaze.

“I’ve been keeping quiet until now, but...” Kiyose straightened his back and raised his voice to convey it to everyone, not just Jouji. “The Hakone Ekiden qualifiers aren’t just a competition based on the pure combined times of ten people running twenty kilometers.”

The residents, who were all chatting as they pleased, shut their mouths. The room fell into silence, and gazes filled with doubt and confusion focused on Kiyose.

“There are ten spots in the main race for teams that advance from the qualifiers, but one of them is actually the ‘selected team’. Even among the universities that don’t advance to the main race, there will be some runners with good times in the qualifiers; that team is a relief measure for them. It’s not a very good choice of words, but it’s basically a mishmash team.”

“So in actuality, there’s only nine schools that can take part in the Hakone Ekiden through the qualifiers?” Shindou said.

“Exactly. Among those schools, the universities that are ranked seventh or lower have their final ranking determined by adding intercollegiate points to their total time in the qualifiers. It’s a huge pain to explain, but to put it simply, how it works is that schools that produce good results in intercollegiates will get points accordingly, and seconds will be deducted from their total time. There have been cases where, thanks to intercollegiate points, the final total time was more than five minutes less than the actual time.”

“So, does that mean that even if you’re in the top rankings just from your results in the qualifiers, it’s possible for you to not be able to compete in the main race because of sudden turn-arounds due to intercollegiate points?” Jouta asked.

“Yeah. The Hakone Ekiden is broadcast on TV in January, so it’s good publicity for universities. So, the schools tend to think that all they need to do is recruit a bunch of good runners and compete efficiently in the Hakone Ekiden. The intercollegiate point system is meant to discourage those schools from doing that. It’s telling them to participate in competitions properly and develop runners who can not only handle a long-distance road relay race but also the track itself, which is the main focus in track and field.”

“Sounds pretty fishy,” Nico-chan smiled wryly.

“I guess money is involved no matter what world you’re in,” Shindou sighed drearily, perhaps thinking about the importance of publicity.

In defiance of the daunted atmosphere in the room, King spoke.

“Alright. Haiji, Kakeru, go out to that intercollegiate and earn those points.”

“They can’t do that,” Yuki cut him down coldly. “We’re a small club. The points are based on the ranking of each university in the intercollegiate and the number of participants. No matter how hard Haiji and Kakeru work in the intercollegiate, it’s hopeless.”

“We are in a difficult situation. We have no money, and apparently we can’t take part in intercollegiates either. What in the world are we going to do?”

“Don’t worry.” Pulling himself together, Shindou encouraged Musa, who had his shoulders slumped. “We just have to get within the top six at the qualifiers. The intercollegiate points won’t matter that way. A weak school should act like a weak school and compete proudly with their total time alone.”

 “Well said, Shindou,” Kiyose nodded, looking pleased.

“I think that total time is the biggest problem we’re currently facing, though,” Yuki pointed out quietly.

“Well, let’s assume that we go to the meets and gradually improve our times,” Nico-chan said while producing wire dolls. “Kakeru and Haiji should go to the intercollegiate and blow away those guys from the other schools.”

“Alright. Kakeru, Haiji. In any case, earn those points,” King said again.

“I told you…it’s impossible for just two people to earn points.”

“King-san isn’t listening to anyone at all.”

Jouta and Jouji reproached King. Kakeru continued to say nothing; he couldn’t afford to mind King, who was encouraging him to take part in the intercollegiate. While looking at the letters “TSU”, he remembered something.

I’m pretty sure Sakaki got into TSU… His high school teammate’s face appeared in his mind. He felt gloomy, like the rainy season had come slightly early.

If he took part in the TSU meet, he would definitely come face to face with Sakaki. I wonder what would happen when that time comes. Can the current me beat Sakaki, who got into a powerhouse track school?

Kakeru, who left the twins’ room pretending to go to the washroom, immediately went down the stairs and opened the sliding door of the entrance. The gravel in the yard glowed under the starlight. It was as though it was inviting him—to a shining white road—to a place deep within Kakeru’s very heart.

Reflexively, he was about to start running, but then noticed that he was in his orthopedic sandals and stopped. He sensed Nira coming out from beneath the veranda. Kakeru breathed a sigh and then slowly walked towards the main house. Nira’s wet nose pushed against his toes, and Kakeru knelt down and stroked his warm fur.

Nira suddenly wagged his tail vigorously. The sound of gravel being stepped on came from behind him. He knew who it was without turning around; it was Kiyose.

Kiyose, who knelt down next to him, tickled Nira between his ears. Nira snorted happily. He waited for a while, but Kiyose kept silent, so Kakeru was the one who broke the ice.

“Are you really going to make me compete in the meets and intercollegiate?”

“Of course. We’re ultimately going to the Hakone Ekiden, after all.”

“It’ll definitely be a bad experience. I’ve been told that a lot.”

“Why?” Kiyose asked with a mild tone, working the meat around Nira’s neck. Kakeru looked at his face from the side.

“Haiji-san, you know, don’t you? You’ve probably heard about my reputation in high school.”

“About how you’re very fast?”

“That’s a good reputation. I’m talking about…”

“Kakeru,” Kiyose interrupted him. “Listen, your past or reputation aren’t the ones running. You yourself right now are the one running. Don’t be fooled. Don’t turn around. Become stronger.”

Kiyose stretched his knees and stood up while saying “ow ow ow”. Kakeru and Nira looked up at him. Above his head, the spring constellations glittered like a noble crown.

“Stronger…?” Kakeru asked.

“I believe in you.” Kiyose smiled. He tread over the gravel again and returned to Chikusei-sou.

Kakeru contemplated for a bit while rubbing Nira’s back with his palm. Until now, most people had told him to be faster. But this was the first time he had been told to be strong. What did it mean to be strong?

He wasn’t sure. But Kiyose said he believed in Kakeru.

In his chest, which had been frozen for a long time, he felt a small fire being lit. It kept back the torrent of violence that was always surging within him and kept away the voice of temptation that pushed him on into dark places. Kiyose’s words were filled with a quiet power; it was as though they blew off the fear and trepidation within him.

“Alright.”

Muttering, Kakeru also stood. He wasn’t very good at thinking about the details anyways. That was why he should just run—just run, without caring about whether he might meet someone unpleasant or have bad experiences. That was the only thing Kakeru could do.

Kakeru told Nira good night.

His fear and hesitation towards taking part in meets faded. On the contrary, he was almost looking forward to seeing how much he could run.

As the TSU meet approached, Kakeru became more and more excited.

It was his first battle in a long while. He was confident that his training until now had been flawless, but even so, every night before he went to bed, various thoughts passed through his mind. If I ran into my old acquaintances, I might get shaken and lose my ability to concentrate on the race. My competition instincts might have gotten dull and I might get the spot where I should make my decisive move wrong. I was able to set a time that grabbed attention in the high school track world, but will that still apply in university?

Bad thoughts came up one after another when he closed his eyes, so he pushed aside his futon and got up. Desperately suppressing the urge to jog right that instant, he steadied his breathing. “Don’t panic, don’t panic.” He stood in the middle of the dark room by himself.

Don’t think about anything. Just imagine. Kakeru told himself. All you have to do is run. While feeling every muscle in your body moving, just keep moving forward.

When he recalled the heat from that time, his anxieties immediately receded, and now he felt unbearably restless and eager, like Nira when he was taken out for a walk.

Alongside the training, Kakeru also diligently attended his classes. Someone who can’t even get their credits can’t get results from running. That was Kiyose’s pet theory. But because he had training, he had to constantly turn down get-togethers and drinking parties. The other residents of Chikusei-sou were also enthusiastic about the meets, so they came home punctually without making side trips and immediately tackled training.

For that reason, it started to become known not only to the shopping district, but also to the people at the university: “Those guys who are living in that rundown apartment seem to be running pretty intently.”

The day before the TSU meet, Kakeru asked a friend from his foreign language class to answer roll call for him in several of his lectures the next day. 

“What’s going on, Kurahara? Are you taking a day off tomorrow?”

“I’m going to a track meet.”

“Oh. That’s right, I heard you’re running a marathon, right?”

“No, it’s not a marathon…”

I’m aiming for the Hakone Ekiden and the track event tomorrow is the five-thousand meter. Kakeru thought, but left out the explanation.

It wasn’t until he entered university that Kakeru discovered this: people who had nothing to do with track didn’t know the difference between marathons and long-distance relay races. When it came to track events, people would laugh like they were shocked, “You’re running five kilometers? Running round and round the track?” Apparently to them, it seemed like a ritual of uncertain origin that they had no idea why anyone would do.

Even though it’s so important to me, track and field is treated surprisingly plainly by the general public. That was his thought when he learned what was to him a shocking truth. At the same time, he felt somewhat amused. So, every day we’re desperately pursuing something most people don’t even care about?

That was why he decided to laugh and be vague this time as well.

“Yeah, well, it’s a meet that’s like a shortened version of a marathon. I’m counting on you.”

“Leave it to me. Good luck,” his friend said with a serious expression. Even though they didn’t understand the situation well, he could tell that they were supporting him wholeheartedly.

That night, Kakeru lay still in a shallow sleep. It was a light, sharp, taut sleep. Good. Kakeru thought in the space between dreaming and waking. This sensation of all the useless and unnecessary things that remained until the end being scraped off, and transforming into a body and mind made for running overnight. 

That was something he had pretended to forget for a long time—the fighting spirit before a competition.

Previous | Next

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Dangerous Minds

Those of my readers who haven’t known me long may not know that I was once a corps member of Teach for America. I taught 10th and 11th grade English for about 5 weeks, then I was told on a Friday about my “involuntary transfer” to another school in the district, where I’d be teaching 7th and 8th grade English instead. I went from having about 110 students to about 190. My classroom had no books (textbook or otherwise), no pencils, no paper, no markers or chalk, but it DID have one of those folding lamps that come out of the ceiling at the dentist’s office. The kids had been in there for 5 weeks with a rotating roster of subs; they’d done no schoolwork of any kind. I was teaching in a very poor area of the city, and my students were predominantly Black and Hispanic. One of my 10th graders wrote his first personal essay about getting shot the previous year. I say all this to tell you that when Chad asked that I review Dangerous Minds, the 1995 adaptation starring Michelle Pfeiffer of the true story of Louanne Johnson’s experience teaching in inner city schools in California, I was prepared to laugh it off as a cringey, Lifetime-movie representation of my experience. Is that what I got? Well...

For the most part, what I got was a ball of anxiety in my chest. It’s well-worn territory, obviously. A teacher bonds with their students from the wrong side of the tracks, and ends up learning just as much from them as they learn from him/her. Usually poetry or music features heavily as a tool that can set the students free from the depressing circumstances of their lives. Depending on the rating, usually a student dies, and the teacher learns just how Important their job is, so they commit to it even harder even though it pays no money and garners no respect from the administration who just doesn’t “get it.” But these cliches and stereotypes and broad strokes exist because at their core, they’re true, and they make me anxious and uncomfortable and I can’t laugh at them or Michelle Pfeiffer being a Nice White Lady because I’m too busy being angry about the systems we put in place that straight up abandon so many kids, all in the name of white supremacy.

Some thoughts:

Oh we’re starting right off the BAT with “Gangsta’s Paradise.” Fantastic news. Two things I associate so strongly with this song is skating around the skating rink in 2nd grade and buying the Weird Al cassingle of “Amish Paradise” and wearing it out. 

Ooh, the score was composed and performed by Wendy & Lisa! Love that, you don’t see nearly as many film scores as you should composed by women.

God, the salary is $24,700 a year and Louanne acts as though that is appealing - I can’t tell if that’s because it was 1995 or because teacher salaries are so dismally low that this feels like a good salary?

This scene in which Louanne goes into her classroom for the first time and the kids are all shouting at her and getting in her face and sexually harassing her and throwing paper balls at her is giving me stress hives. 

Also her friend Griffith (George Dzundza) saying, “You wanna teach, so teach! All you gotta do is get their attention” is rather disingenuous. Trust me, you can have their attention, and still not be able to teach. 

I’m excited to see Sally-Can’t-Dance from Con Air as Raul (Renoly Santiago). He’s honestly fantastic in this, with a tough exterior but a sensitive and gooey inner sweet boy. All of the teens give pretty solid performances, but he’s a real standout.

I recognize this is based on a true story and Louanne Johnson’s lived experience, but I am not sure it’s wise for any teacher, regardless of grade or subject, to be teaching her students how to fight each other. Or taking them to dinner on what looks to outsiders like a date. I know some people have a problem with the bribery (giving her students candy for speaking up in class) but I have no problem with it - you get paid to do all the dumb stuff you don’t want to do at work, why shouldn’t kids be compensated for going to school if they don’t want to be there? External motivation goes a long way to building up internal motivation.

Mm I do love me some Courtney B. Vance, but he’s such a quiet, condescending ass in this. It’s a different vibe than I’m used to seeing in a principal in a movie like this. 

Ooh, Griffith grading papers and saying “What a fuckin’ idiot” is a real mood. 

“Since when has the Board of Education done anything for us? We barely get fuckin lunch” is legit. The lunches my students were served in summer school were some of the most horrifying things I’ve ever seen. One day it was spoiled milk, white bread, and pickles. And one of my students put his in a microwave that was hidden in the back of my classroom behind some dividers and left it for a week. And just so you know, as stomach-churningly awful as that sounds, the day I found “pickle man” as my student called him, isn’t even in my top 5 worst days teaching list. 

I like Griffith, and I’m glad Louanne has a friend, but frankly I’m not that interested in these interludes between them - they really feel like they slow down the momentum from the scenes of her in the classroom slowly earning the kids’ trust. The pacing is kind of a mess, because the most dynamic sections all revolve around the kids in the classroom, and I feel like that only makes up about a third of the movie. 

One thing I know for sure is you do not get in the middle of a fight between students. I have a friend who worked in the same district I did who interrupted a fight and got punched in the face because of it. And her principal blamed her. 

Oh wow the way the soundtrack picks up when Emilio finally engages in the class is some kinda cheesy. And it continues through the rest of the scene to a distracting degree. Oh Wendy and Lisa, I hoped for better. 

Can I just emphasize that to reach these kids, Louanne uses her experience as a LITERAL MARINE by demonstrating she can kick all their asses, and then she bribes them by paying for 25 kids to go to an amusement park for the entire day with her?

Also, even if they like and respect her now, I call bullshit at any scene in which ALL of  the kids are A) sitting in their seats or B) silent, and especially C) both. 

Um suddenly feeling some weird vibes with Louanne and Raul having a dinner date at this fancy restaurant by themselves. Also, the double standard here is pretty telling - there’s no way this scene makes the movie if Louanne had been a male teacher and Raul was a female student.

Wait wait wait, she’s also loaning Raul $200? Like, is this why I didn’t make it as a teacher? Because I wasn’t a former Marine taking students to amusement parks and fancy dinners and lending them money? I was 25 and could barely afford rent. Maybe teachers who have enough money to take care of themselves are better equipped to take care of others. Idk, I’m just spitballin here.

Oh “Gangsta’s Paradise” is happening again! We already heard the whole song over the opening credits but now it’s happening again about 3/4 way through. I mean this song is definitely the best thing about the film, so I get it, but it feels weird that they think we wouldn’t notice it playing to completion twice.

Michelle Pfeiffer is doing everything she can to make this movie feel less cheesy and more real. Like, you can tell she’s really trying with her performance. Of course, it’s not like the character is a huge challenge acting-wise, but she is definitely committed to the part and can walk the line of both accessible and tough. 

This scene where Louanne tells her class she is not going to be there next year, that what happened to Durell and Lionel and Callie and Emilio made her too sad to stay has not aged well at all. And it’s certainly true to life, and I say that as someone who did the same thing. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it’s a reality - the fact that I’m a nice white lady is exactly the reason that I can choose to leave when things get too hard. Just because the kids convince her to stay at the end in this very rushed “all’s well that ends well” way doesn’t sweep this scene under the rug, and it shouldn’t. 

Ope, “Gangsta’s Paradise” shows up one last time in the credits for good measure. 

Side note: after the film, I researched Louanne, and she’s still teaching, which honestly made me emotional (in a good way). And I’d like to point out the racist ass bullshit the studio and screenwriter Ronald Bass pulled by changing the poems the students read to Bob Dylan lyrics when Louanne originally used rap lyrics from popular artists in ‘89-’90 to teach the kids about poetry. 

Did I Cry? No, but I did get heartburn from anxiety flashbacks.

This genre of film is easy to mock and parody because it tells the same story and hits the same beats to the point that they’ve become cliche. Ultimately, the truth at the heart of the movie (which is the un-nuanced and candy-coated depiction of Johnson’s real memoir, My Posse Don’t Do Homework) is that high schoolers crave someone who will see them and validate them, someone who is willing to put in the effort. The quality of the package that truth is wrapped in varies, and this one certainly leans in hard on stereotypes that feel like cheat codes rather than any real illuminating depictions of living teenagers. But as cringey as it is to watch, maybe it’s not a bad thing to remember that all people - including those who are trapped in poverty and all the cruel injustices that entails - want to be seen and valued for who they really are. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[decembermoonskz]

Hello moonbeams~! Writing letters is something I’m good at, because even if I stumble in all other forms of communication sometimes, my writing, my words never fail me. The overall negative energy, annoyance and sometimes hatred towards the pandemic, the social/political topics and the year in general can be very draining and or taxing on me and you all. Of course we’re upset too but seeing so much hate can be draining for people like me, and maybe you. So for a moment, grab a seat and a blanket and listen as I read this letter to you. This is a letter from me, to you, and I offer a blessing from her majesty the moon herself as well.

2020 has been one hell of a year that’s for sure. I experienced a lot of sadness, fatigue and overall lower moods as I tend to take on the energy of the world heavily. There has been so much that’s happened to us all, sadness, fear, anger, heartbreak; but even still we survived it. There were so many that felt we wouldn’t make it through this year or make it to the end as it felt like it would go on forever, but we’re here now, to write these letters, to tell these stories. 

Even in this hectic year, I experienced so much, I felt happiness, joy I cried a lot and released so many pent up feelings, I came to terms with things I had locked away, I laughed a lot, I found passions that I thought were long lost. So much has happened to me in this year both ups and downs and I’m grateful for it all. You may be wondering why I would be grateful for downs as well, they helped teach me things, how strong I am; how it’s okay to give in and feel your sadness or pain; to validate my emotions; and a lot more. I hope that with all that’s happened you were able to take in some lessons yourself.

Below this cut, I wanted to thank some people who made my experience on tumblr as wonderful as it has been, more amazing than I had ever expected it to be. I came on here extremely nervous about sharing my stories and these people have been so warm and welcoming and honestly I wouldn’t have enjoyed my time as much without them. I’ll have my ending message at the bottom of this. 

@sleepylixie Lily darling, my brain twin!! you’ve made my short tumblr life so much fun! sharing brain waves one moment, soundboarding ideas the next, and having so many things in common between us it’s crazy (wolfie gang). You’ve become one of the best things to happen to me on this site! xoxo thank you for always sharing your wonderful ideas with me and for sharing my love of fantasy!! Oh and I can’t forget all the shared screaming we do over skz and anything else xD I’m so glad we started talking and even in just a short time I feel so close to you already!! Thank you for letting me vent out all my ideas and for letting me be that person for your ideas too, thank you for always giving such good feedback and opinions and thank you for just overall being one of my favorite people to talk to. I hope we can make more wonderful memories in the coming year and beyond it. love you darling have a beautiful 2021~ 💜💜💜 ⟪ song rec: Another Day - Stray Kids ⟫

@rebecca-noona​ Becca! You were the first person to interact with my blog and when I look back on it, I’m so thankful you did. I love our talks about Korea and skz and writing. Your support has always been incredibly helpful, thank you for always being a cheerleader for me, it means the world. I hope you know I love you and support you and your works and whatever you wish to do so much as well!! I’m so happy we started talking and you make me so happy. Thank you for being my friend and when I finally get to Korea you gotta show me around when you get back!! I hope your process of getting back is smooth and easy, stay as optimistic as you can love!! xoxo  ⟪ song rec: motive - Ariana Grande (ft. Doja Cat) ⟫ 

@skzctnightnight​ bel! bel! :DD it’s your words of encouragement that helped me create this blog, you’re one of the reasons I’m here!! your works have been some of my favorites and I was so happy when I first reached out to you. Your kindness really touched me and being your anon at the time was so much fun >v< Prowl will forever be one of my favorite series and you inspire me with your works!! I love talking with you no matter if it’s a quick chat, or a long convo, I always love talking to you. Thank you for making my 2020 so nice! I’m glad I know you and let’s talk more soon! <3  ⟪ song rec: Clarity - Kim Petras ⟫ 

@aliceu​ Alice!! I’m so thankful we met by chance when replying to one of Lily’s posts LOL I think it was an ask of yours about fantasy, and we shared a mutual love for it xD I want you to know that I always smile and I’m always happy when you send asks or dms so please I hope you never worry about being a bother and keep sending them hehe >v</ Thank you for always taking some of your time  to check out my stories and for always leaving such wonderful feedback too!! It makes me happy to read your mini reviews about them!! Thanks for having little chats with me too. I enjoy them always and I hope we can continue to chat more 2021!! Please have a great new year and stay safe and comfy uwu ⟪ song rec: TMT - Stray Kids ⟫ 

@t-toodumbtocare​ Bar! xoxo I’m so glad we finally started talking and I’m hoping we can talk more soon >w<b You’re so fun and sweet and your stories are cute!! I wanna read more soon!! >^<9 Thanks for our little chats and thanks for checking out my stories as well I appreciate it. I hope to get to know you better in the coming year and I hope you have the best 2021!!  ⟪ song rec: Cruel Summer - Taylor Swift ⟫ 

@delicatewerewolfsoul​​ Vicky!!! I’m so happy we started talking! I loved talking about animals and pets with you and I loved all the skz soft hours asks you sent (I hope you send more of them psst psst) they made my day!! You’re such a sweetheart and you’re a master of heart memes xD I hope your 2021 is wonderful just like you are!! Stay safe and warm you cute bean xoxo ⟪ song rec: Inception - ATEEZ ⟫ 

@dreamescapeswriting​ Hi M!!! Okay full disclosure!! I’ve actually read some of your works before having tumblr LOL Like I really enjoyed them (Lucky and You Love Me are so cute) and honestly I was shy about reaching out but I’m so glad I did because now I wanna continue to talk and send you hugs! >V< I’m so glad we’re both gamers and your asks make me so happy! Thank you for being the sweetie you are and I hope we can talk more in 2021!! Have a great new year cutie!! <3 ⟪ song rec: False God - Taylor Swift ⟫ 

to my mutuals and other moonbeams who I wanna talk to more and love and support so much!! @mikoto-ica-fics​ @hanflix​ @chogiwow​ @redsandroses​ @meiiyue​ @missskzbiased​ @rosieecheeks​ I hope we can talk more in the new year and I love you a lot!!! You’re all such beautiful souls!! Know I’m sending you love and hugs and all the support I can muster \>v</ xoxoxoxoxo ⟪ song rec: Breath - GOT7 ⟫ 

To my beautiful nonnies, I’m super happy you’re here. I miss you all and hope you’re well and to the new ones welcome welcome!! I hope you know all your messages make me so happy! When I started my blog, I didn’t imagine I’d have as many anons as I do now, I didn’t think I’d have many, maybe 2 or 3? You guys make me so happy and I hope to see you more in my inbox when you have the time!!! <33 ⟪ song rec: You Can STAY - Stray Kids ⟫ 

To all my followers, my darling moonbeams!! Thank you so much for joining on this journey of practice and self-love that I’ve been trying to embark on. The comments, the reblogs, the likes, the asks, all of it, it means the world to me. To re-learn that it is possible for people to enjoy what I do, and not tie it to my own self-worth has been something I’m so thankful for. You all helped me learn that so thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy the stories I put out and feel free to reach out anytime! I’m so happy to have 300+ (almost 400) of you lovely moonbeams here! I hope you all have a wonderful 2021! It doesn’t matter who you are, how old you are, where you come from, what you identify as, what you believe in, or who you love; you are all precious moonbeams here in this haven.  ⟪ song rec: Haven - Stray Kids ⟫ 

I know I say it a million times but since this is a wrapup letter I’ll share it again shortly. My blog was made for the main purpose of learning to appreciate my passion for writing and to not cage myself from posting and sharing my stories. I wanted to learn to write for myself and that posting stories in and of itself was the main victory, and everything else was the bonus, instead of thinking when people like it, only then is it good. I’ve done that before and having learned from it I now feel more prepared to tackle this. Thank you again for all the warm welcomes and the love I’ve received it still hasn’t quite sunk in for me and it feels so unreal. To know you all enjoy my stories and give me so much love, it’s crazy and it’s happening and I am so happy. I’m very thankful I took the leap of faith even though I was scared and decided to create this blog! 2020 challeneged me as well as pushed me and supported me. I experienced hard times yes, but I also experienced some really amazing things. I found comfort in things new and old, I feel like the quarantine made me come to terms with myself more, not run from things I wanted to confront and talk to myself more. I feel like 2020 albeit really draining in all ways, helped shape me and I got stronger because of living through this year. Now before I get any more preach-y than I already have LOL Thank you for being a part of my 2020 everyone!! I hope to have you with me in 2021 and I hope you experience the blessings of the moon like I feel we all do. See you in 2021 y’all! We’ll get through next year and the next and the next, I know it! 💜

Love Izzy 

[angrylizardjacket]

mouth full of white lies {Machine Gun Kelly} 6 // FINALE

6. you know, you’re my whole world

Summary: So you’re actually together! Hooray! But filming is going to wrap, and your brother wants to to talk, and what if this is just a summer fling?! Colson says it’s not, you think it’s time to start trusting what he says over your own anxiety.

A/N: It’s not NSFW, im really not in the headspace to write smut. 

the brainstrust: @sataninsatin @silvertonguedserpent @juliarose21 @estxxbritt @machine-gun-casie @harringtonstudios @misscharlottelee @narcvissa @hiworlditishumbleme @angelwarner28 @nevilles-insinuations @rumoured-whispers @mgkobsessed @edwardtriggerhandzz @suckerforbarnes @wastelcve @bakerkells @local-troubled-writer @freddiessmallnipples @oopsiedoopsie23 @mayaslifeinabox @mrs-machinegun-norris @hxbbit @lilytalebi 

----

Filming is due to wrap in a few days and you don’t quite know what to do with yourself. You’re flailing a little bit, like you seemed to do at the end of every project. It’s not that you didn’t know how to fill your time, you did; your own career filled your time very nicely when you wanted it to, but this is the most time you’ve spent with your brother in a long while and you weren’t looking forward to saying goodbye.

Back in LA, you’re trying not to cling to the cast, or more specifically, to your brother and your boyfriend, and it’s working on set, but after filming wraps for the whole band scenes, you feel yourself growing quiet as the boys suggest celebratory drinks. Douglas still has a few final shots they wanna film, but it’s the last time they’ll need the whole band together, at least until potential reshoots. It’s Thursday, and in a week and a half there’s gonna be a wrap party, and you’re all still going to be hanging around until then, Colson most of all since he lives here, but it feels so final.

“How’re you holding up, Duck?” Daniel finds you hovering by the bar of the club that you didn’t catch the name of, while your brother was buying drinks down the other end, and Colson was having a smoke, and you were trying to not act as awkward as you felt.

“Good, good,” you assure him, nursing your still-full drink, “it’s just gonna be weird not to see you guys every day.”

“We can call you every day if you’re feeling lonely; it might be two in the morning, I’m not great at timezones,” he tells you with a smile, and you grin back, thankful, at the very least, for the gesture. 

“Colson’s house is never empty, I don’t think I’ll ever be lonely,” your voice is fond, and Daniel snorts into his drink, giving a knowing hum, “but I might still take you up on that offer,” you paused, before your grin stretches wide and you bat your eyelashes at him almost comically, “would you sing to me if I asked nicely.”

“If I did, can I tell people it’s because you asked, and not because I miss playing Vince?” 

“Absolutely; your secret’s safe with me.” The two of you cheers to that, and it’s starting to hit you just how much you’ll miss this cast. After a beat, you sigh a little forlornly, but aren’t given time to dwell in your melancholy before your brother rejoins you.

The night eases on, and you feel yourself relaxing with the people you love by your side, bar hopping into the early hours of the morning, dancing and drinking, and sloppily making out with Colson in various dark corners. It’s a night that’s blurry at the edges, heart warm and conversation easy, falling into bed laughing when the sun comes up. When you wake the next day, it’s to your brother calling and inviting you out to eat.

“Late brunch,” he calls it.

“I think at this point it’s just lunch.” You yawn around your answer, and you hear Colson laugh into his pillow, which makes you smile. You tell him you’ll be there in an hour, to which Colson groans, surfacing from his own pillow to dramatically sprawl over you.

“How are you even awake, man?” He sighs when you put Douglas on speaker, “we don’t have anything to do today, why not celebrate and sleep in.”

“He’s always been like this,” you sigh, just as Douglas answers almost identically. With a shake of his head, Colson presses his smile against your cheek, followed by a kiss. 

“Dude, you’re a robot,” Colson mutters, though it’s fond, and he rolls back over, pulling his pillow out from beneath his head and holding it over his face, yawning into it. Douglas invites him to lunch, but Colson graciously denies; “I love you guys, but as soon as Ducky leaves, I’m passing the fuck out again.” 

When you get to the cafe your brother has picked out, he’s doing his utmost best to act casual, but you see through it almost immediately by the way he’s rearranging the sugar packets instead of looking at you.

“What?” You ask him flatly as you pick up the menu; finally he looks to you, all wide-eyed feigned innocence.

“Can’t I just want to get lunch with my dear sister?”

“You can, sure,” you concede with a nod of your head, opening the menu, your eyes on the drinks, “but usually you’re less obvious with your ulterior motives.” Flicking your gaze from the menu, already knowing what you want, you can see him grimace.

“I don’t know how to word it,” he admits after a beat, still fiddling with a packet of sugar, not meeting your gaze; you try to prompt him, but he beats you to the punch; “how long did you intend on pretending to be with Colson?” 

Alarm bells are ringing in your head and it takes all your self control not to slap a hand over his mouth. Instead, you shush him loudly, looking around, frantically, terrified someone had heard. When you look back at him, you see a faintly amused smile, and you realised that your reaction had managed to confirm all of his suspicions. 

“How long have you known?”

“A while,” and he’s less cagey now, settling back in his chair. The waitress comes up and you both pace an order for a drink, him looking calm and collected, you looking like you’re about to leap across the table and maul him at any given second. After she leaves, after she’s out of earshot, he continues, “since you told me you loved him, and two days later he came up to me and asked if it would be weird if he was in love with you; I just thought ‘why would it be weird? You’re together aren’t you?’, but then it hit me.”

“It’s not - fake -” you whisper the word, “anymore.”

“I can tell,” Douglas says with a gentle fondness. He doesn’t seem mad, just thoughtful. 

“What?” You ask again, softer this time, a little sheepish, like you’re just waiting for him to ask why you lied to him. But he doesn’t.

“Are you happy, Duck?” It hits you out of left field, almost winds you, and you see the genuine concern in his eyes.

“Of course,” you tell him, and he wears a familiar smile, “Colson makes me so happy, Doug,” you admit, and his smile widens.

“I’m just glad you two decided to get your shit together,” he mused, “because you know I was not above parent-trapping the pair of you.”

“I think you’d have to get in line behind Casie,” you said with a slight smile, and Douglas laughed brightly, though you considered for a moment, “what a strange pair you’d make, you two trying to get Colson and I to admit our feelings for each other.”

“Wouldn’t be surprised if she’s already got a plan already figured out; I saw her on set, you’ve gotten yourself a duckling of your own,” Douglas tells you, and you can’t help the embarrassingly pleased little smile.

“You think so? She’s such a cool kid,” you enthuse, trying to play it off, but your brother gives an almost disbelieving smile.

“You’re cool, Duck.” He assures you, and you can’t help feeling pleased at his compliment.

The rest of lunch goes smoothly; Douglas asks you what your plans are after filming wraps, and you tell him that you’re probably going to stay with Colson, that you’ve got a few events lined up in LA in the next few months. He’s heading back to New York, has a film festival coming up, and some press to do for Mary Shelly, which was set to come out in June, and some travelling he wants to do.

“If you see mum and dad, give them my love,” you tell him, and he promises he will. You don’t get home much to see your family anymore; work keeps you much busier than you’d ever imagined.

The last few days on set feel like one long farewell, and it’s sad to see the few that still come in getting a little teary as they wrap.

“I’m gonna get absolutely blitzed, or I’m gonna cry my eyes out,” Josy tells you over lunch on the final day, the two of you discussing the wrap party the following night. Though you chuckle, you can’t help but know exactly how she’s feeling.

Heart in your throat, you can’t help but feel a little fragile as you get ready to go out to the afterparty. Colson, however, doesn’t seem to share this mindset.

“You look hot as fuck,” he announces, watching you apply your makeup in the bathroom mirror, already dressed for the night. Giving a sad little smile, you pause for a beat, and he joins you, rests his chin on your shoulder, “what’s up?”

“This has just been... it’s been so much, it’s weird that it’s coming to an end.”

“There’ll be other projects -” he plants a kiss on your cheek, his arms coming to wrap around you.

“I know.”

“And other movies -”

“I know.”

“And you know this crew isn’t just gonna forget about you, or each other -”

“I’m related to Doug,” you sigh, and Colson snorts, nodding, and he steps back, gives you space to turn and wrap your arms around him, though you’re still pouting, “but what if you realise I’m just... boring or something when we don’t have a film keeping us together.” And you press your face, your nervous worry, against him. 

“First of all, you’re not boring. I don’t do boring girls,” he tells you flatly, “and between the two of us, we’ll always be busy anyways, but it doesn’t matter; how many times are we gonna have this conversation?” He asks with a slight frown, and you humph against him, “you expecting me to kick you out? Just cut and run? No fucking way.” And there’s an edge to his voice, something that stirs something deep inside of you. “As far as I’m aware, you’re mine, Ducky,” and a shiver actually runs down your spine.

“All yours?” You hear yourself murmur, leaning back in his arms and letting your gaze flicking to his lips, which quirk into a smirk. “I like hearing you say that.” His grip tightens almost imperceptibly, but you feel it, can see his grin widen.

“How late are we allowed to be do you think?” He asks, giving you a suggestive squeeze. After a beat, you lean into him, kissing him hard, letting the contentment wash across you as he hums appreciately against your lips before you pull back.

“You’re the star, so as late as we want.”

“Hello! Hello and welcome back my ducklings! Since so many of you asked, here is an update on how things have been between myself and my dear boyfriend since you last heard about us, which was quite a while ago. And also a get ready with me! Because it’s the premiere! Of our movie!” 

“So I know since The Dirt stopped filming that I stopped sort of having Kells in my videos, and that’s because we’d been so uber public in the beginning of our relationship that when we had time to just us, we wanted it to be... more personal, more private, you know. Which might seem weird, but it’s how we like it.”

“As you all know, so much has been happening with us; we’ve been living together basically since The Dirt finished filming, or as much as we can, since we’re both travelling so much. I’ve been making my way around conventions, as well as being a part of a few more films set to come out in the next few months, meanwhile my talented boyfriend has been writing a whole new fucking album, as well as filming Big Time Adolescence with Pete, but that’s not coming out for a good long while.”

“Yes! Yes I’ve met Pete Davidson, I’m Pete-certified now, you can all calm down. Pete, Casie, and Rook have all approved me, do not stress, and Doug has approved of Kells - has always approved of him actually.”

“We spent Thanksgiving with Casie and her mom which was really nice, and I’ll have photos of us - here -” and a photo of yourself, Colson, and Casie sitting around a dining room table flashed onto the screen, followed by a selfie of Colson with you and Casie asleep together on the sofa behind him.

“Christmas I had with mom, dad, and Doug back in England, while Kells stayed back to be with Casie, but don’t worry, I flew back in time for him to be my New Year’s kiss. Casie actually got me the cutest present; so back when The Dirt was filming, she came and hung out on set, and she got her makeup done by our team; she looked so cool! Anyways so she got a photo with me and Kells, him in full costume, me lookin’ a little bit like a potato next to those two, but it’s such a cute photo. And she got me a phone case with that photo printed on it. I’ve been using it ever since, I love it so much!”

“Kells’ birthday, as I’m sure you’ve all seen, was an absolutely wild rager, which Doug came to, even though it meant he saw me do some things that no older brother should ever see his sister do - get your mind out of the gutter! Nothing like that! I just made some questionable decisions that night is all. But my man had the night of his life, and I couldn’t be prouder of him!”

“We’ve been travelling, and working, and just... it’s so good to have it all come full circle. It’s good to be back with all the cast and crew; I’ve missed them all far more than I thought I would. And Kells has been talking non-stop about seeing them, he’s in the other room planning a pub crawl as we speak.”

“So I suppose I’m just trying to tell you that we’re doing good. Really good, actually, it’s been over a year but it definitely doesn’t feel like it.” You pause, wearing a small, almost hopeful smile. “This is gonna sound really stupid, but I never thought working the Motley Crue movie would lead to all this.”

“I think he might be the love of my life.”

[winchester-with-wings]

I Saw You First

“An Angel & Her Assassin” sequel

Patron Benefit Fanfic for @softdudebro​!

Pairing:  College AU - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Author's Notes:  People have asked for sequels to this fic and I gave it a shot. I thought I'd dedicate this to Tomorrow since they like Bucky :) hopefully this is a good continuation and elicits some college feels cuz it definitely did for me! Hope ya'll like it!

Summary/Request:   The story of the first time you and Bucky saw each other but didn't actually meet. Then a flash forward to the present. smut.

**inspired by that one video of Seb working out** gif post

Word Count: 1700ish

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Bucky noticed you before he ever encountered you in the laundry room or the elevator of your dorm building. It figures that it would be at the gym, likely one of the regular places he frequented. Of course, you never knew this until after that fateful night at the Halloween party when you finally, truly connected.

When you asked him to tell you the story, he was playfully vague. But you know. You were there. You’d checked him out too.

Here’s how it really happened.

-----

The summer after your freshman year, you created another reading list to focus on. One of your methods to read these had been to take a book with you to the gym. You figured getting a little exercise at the same time would only help you develop better habits.

It worked, at first. The beginning of the new semester, you went to the gym for maybe two weeks? You enjoyed the ellipticals and recumbent bikes--the things that kept your legs busy but your hands and eyes free to read. It also distracted you from feeling self-conscious about the fact that you didn’t look like the other girls that came to the gym to socialize and work on their already-perfect bodies.

With the addition of classes, going to the gym became a harder habit to keep. You could just stay in your dorm room and read all you want, right? But by now, Rachel, your roommate needed a work-out buddy. Someone to motivate her to continue to go to the gym, as well. She claimed she wanted to get in shape for all the boys she’d scoped out at the floor meeting for the dorm during the first week of the semester.

“Let’s try the classes!” she suggested, pointing at the schedule on the wall. Step Aerobics, Yoga, Zumba, etc. They sounded alright, and maybe a change to your routine would be good.

So you started with the step aerobics class. You didn’t last long. You were breathing hard, face flushed and dripping with sweat. The blood was pounding in your ears, harder than the beats of music and every step on the hardwood floor and plastic steps.

You took a break, heading to the back of the class to get your water bottle. The back of the room was floor to ceiling windows and doors that faced the main area of the gym where all other equipment was. It took you only a second to realize why you disliked this set up. Everyone in the class, mostly other female students were in a fishbowl, on display for all the guys passing by or just blatantly standing at the windows. One guy winked at you and you scowled at him, effectively directing his eyes elsewhere.

What was so sexy about a sweaty step aerobics class? You thought to yourself as you turned to look at Rachel, killing it on the routine.

Oh, the butts, getting toned by the steps...Ugh!

You left after that, picking a leg press machine instead.

“Hey! Why you’d you leave?” Rachel asked after the class was over.

“Did you not see all the guys window shopping?”

“Uh, yeah, I got a number or two,” Rachel giggled, swinging her ponytail over her shoulder. You laughed as you got off the machine, offering it to your friend. She sat down and lowered the weight, significantly.

“I don’t come here to pick up guys.”

“You could if you wanted to,” she said, exhaling on the release. You just rolled your eyes. You told yourself it was because you didn’t have time for a man but really, how could you possibly expect to attract the interest of some jock? The guy that winked at you doesn’t count. He was disqualified the moment he decided to drool over a step aerobics class rather than work out. Your standards weren’t that low, seriously…

You and Rachel tried out a few more machines in the circuit, trying your own hands at strength training. But you realized quickly that you’d left the quieter space of the cardio equipment, too close to the weight lifting benches. Young men of all sizes were pushing themselves to the brink, breathing hard, grunting, exhaling, chanting, and egging each other on.

“Come on, Sam, you can do it! Just two more!” You knew that voice. Everyone on your floor knew Steve Rogers, quarterback, certified hunk and sweetheart. Or at least that’s what you had heard.

“He can’t do it.”

“Shut up, Buck!” a football player shouted as he pushed himself.

Too much testosterone. Intense. Stressful. Intimidating. That’s not what you wanted out of going to the gym. Quite the opposite really.

As you two left the gym, you made a mental note to avoid that area again.

-

The next class you attended was Zumba and not only did you keep up with it but you enjoyed it! The music was awesome and the choreography wasn’t too difficult. You could totally see yourself doing this again. But of course, boys… not men… boys…they ruin all the fun.

If step aerobics could catch the attention of onlookers, then zumba was like blood in the water for sharks.

Then again, you did feel sexy, swaying your hips, waving your hands, rolling your body. You decided to put the spectators out of your mind, losing yourself to a Shakira song.

When you left the class, having stayed for the entire thing and deciding to return tomorrow, you felt so good, so confident, that you didn’t care about who was looking. You were just in Nike leggings and a tie-dye shirt, hair up in a messy bun, nothing special, but you felt great.

“Hey, Rach!” someone called out for your friend, inviting her back over to the weight lifting area. The guy who called out for her looked familiar, someone that was likely found hanging out with Steve Rogers.

“Hey Sam,” she greeted him. You stayed by her side, holding onto that Zumba confidence with a steely grip.

You didn’t really listen to what happened between your friend and the football player. You saw Steve a few feet away with another friend. The man was on his back, legs bent and giant dumbbell weights in each hand. Your eyes went wide as you watched him push them up and hold them there. The way his arms were bulging in that gray t-shirt, he was straining himself and you were tempted to tell him to be careful.

“Give me one more!” Steve encouraged him. His friend winced as that last push was almost too much for him.

“Ah, fuck,” he hissed, exhaling and grinding his teeth. He pushed those dumbbells into the air once more and even a second time, then put them down with a loud thud as rubber met the concrete floor.

You didn’t have the best view of his face from his position on the ground and your standing position over 6 feet away, but that sound...like a growl, and his bared white teeth against that strong jaw covered in stubble…it’s a sound that stirred something deep in your belly.

He jumped to his feet and did a few quick squats in those black basketball shorts. You averted your eyes from his perfect ass just as he turned around.

You wouldn’t mind if he’d been watching you dance.

-------

“Ah, fuck.”

It’s the same sound that he made now as you sit on top of him, his hips thrusting up. His fingers were digging into your hips and would likely leave a bruise, but you didn’t mind. You were Bucky’s and he was yours. You’d staked your claim with that hickey on his chest just the other night.

“Mmph, fuck, damn it. I love it when you move like that,” he grunted. You rolled your hips, earning another moan from his lips before you leaned forward and pressed your chest to his, kissing him. He wrapped his arms around you and pinned you to him as he sat up and rolled over. The grunts and squeaks coming from the two of you as Bucky repositioned himself on top were ridiculous.

“Quit giggling,” he half-laughed. “M’gonna pull a muscle in this bed, I swear.” Your head hit the pillow with a ‘oof’ and another giggle. “Dammit, babe, you make it hard to fuck you when you sound that cute.”

“Then don’t fuck me…” Bucky’s hips froze, his cock buried deep inside you. His sharp features softened with outright confusion and a slight insecurity. You reached up to caress the side of his face, the stubble on his cheek itching your palm. “Make love to me.” Bucky released a heavy sigh, rolled his eyes and collapsed on top of you.

“Don’t mess with me like that, Doll,” he whispered into your hair, using your new favorite pet name. His slow thrusts picked up again while he kept his face next to yours. You held onto him for dear life as the tension inside you continued to build until your arched back signaled your release. Bucky kept pumping until the lasting effects of your orgasm sent him over the edge. Rather than stopping completely, he slowed down until the only movement was a twitch of pleasure every now and then. “Oh my god,” he whispered, peppering kisses on your shoulder. “I’m taking you to dinner.”

“Why?” you laughed.

“I’m sorry, darlin, are you turning down a free meal? Is it the company? Do you just use me for my body?” Bucky climbed off of you but you reached out for him; He stumbled as he fully ejected himself from the bed.

“Nonono, that’s not what I said!” you said, as you continued to laugh. “I’m just wondering...if that’s your way of paying me for my services,” you wiggled your eyebrows, a hint at your teasing. Bucky snapped a finger and pointed at you, putting on his own mock serious face.

“Hooker, I’m taking you to dinner because I want to.” Having cleaned himself up, Bucky tugged on his basketball shorts and a t-shirt he’d left in your dorm room the other day. The boy considered your floor his own personal closet. “We’ve stayed in, ordered food and watched movies and you’ve even helped me with my papers. You deserve to go out to an actual restaurant.”

“Okay, well, we should probably shower before we go out.”

“Oh, I agree but I can’t share that shower with you. It was too dangerous the first time. Never again.”

You picked up your towel and toiletries as Bucky sat in a bean bag chair on your floor. You tapped him on the nose.

“Never say never, Buck,” you said with a wink.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tagging: @abbessolute​ @book-loving--anime-chick​ @faithtrustandpixiedust95​ @fabinapercabeth4179​ @thinkwritexpress-official​ @autoblocked​ @therealcap​ @mathle0matle​ @whoopxd​ @bookworm4ever99​ @geeksareunique​ @bucky-plums-barnes​ @pottxrwolff​ @ravenhaviland​ @melaninspice11​ @feelmyroarrrr​ @fvckingavengers​ @officialcaptain-marvel​ @sebbytrash​

[doc-pickles]

this love is worth the fight

Fun Fact: I had such a hard time choosing a song from Lover, mainly because there are so many good songs on the list. (I feel like I’m gonna say that about every single day so don’t mind me) I almost went with Cruel Summer or Paper Rings because they are SUCH Jolex songs, but I kind of wanted to push myself this week. 

I ended up going with Afterglow because I knew it would be perfect for a fluffy fix it fic (my favorite type of Jolex fics hehe) and I really love how it came out. So without further ado, here’s my Afterglow, angst to fluff inspired fix it fic!

(Also, technically this *could* be a part two to my Red/I Almost Do fic. I didn’t write it that way but reading it back it could be interpreted that way since I use some of the same plot lines)

-

I lived like an island, punished you with silence

Went off like sirens, just crying

Why'd I have to break what I love so much?

It's on your face, don't walk away, I need to say…

The world, for what it’s worth, did not stop spinning when Alex Karev disappeared off the face of it. For a moment, it did feel like everything might come to a grinding halt and Jo Karev’s world would never be the same again. But the nagging feeling, the pressure in her chest that kept her up at night, began to ease the longer and longer Alex refused to answer his wife’s calls. 

Jo finds herself working late nights at the hospital, the lonely hallways a better companion than the quiet loft that she shared with Alex. No one questions her motives, if they do they don’t do it to her face, and for that Jo is grateful. The reprieve from the never ending questions about her well being were getting old, she thinks that Link might’ve yelled at everyone they know to leave her alone. Either way, the quiet moments she spends at night with herself help Jo get her mind into a stable space.

She had come to terms with the realities of her new life, that someday someone would call her and tell her Alex was dead or that he had sent divorce papers or he was in a coma, lying somewhere unable to reach her. It didn’t matter what scenario Jo drummed up, the pain of Alex leaving had come and gone sometime in the past month that she had failed to hear from her husband. 

Her feet are walking across the first floor reception on her way to the ER when Jo hears it. She only pauses for a second at first, because she is absolutely certain that she’s hallucinating things. But she hears it again, her heart and feet stopping in tandem as she listens to the voice that she now knows is really there, really speaking to her.

“Jo!”

Jo’s eyes find Alex standing behind her, hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans like he does when he’s forced to confront something he doesn’t want to. His beard is thick and scruffy, Jo almost thinks he must not have shaved since the last morning they spent together. Alex’s eyes are tired, his face holds an exhausted expression, and Jo can’t will her feet to move towards the man she had presumed dead. 

“We need to talk,” Alex speaks. Jo hears him, she really does, but she can’t comprehend what he’s saying. “Jo? Are you listening to me?”

Her brain catches up finally, a hand coming to cover her mouth as Jo lets a sob break through the tension of her and Alex’s reunion. Her feet are the next to recover, moving towards Alex at a frenzied pace. Her hands are around his neck, pulling him close to her as she cries. Jo can feel the breath that Alex releases when her hands make contact with him, relief flooding both of them as they touch for the first time in four and half weeks.

“Jo, I’m so sorry,” the words are a whisper, Alex’s breath hitting Jo’s cheek as he continues to hold her just a little tighter than usual. “I… I’m sorry. I’m just sorry.”

“You came back,” her words are quiet, muffled as she buries her face in Alex’s shoulder. “You're here. You came back.”

Despite telling herself for weeks on end that Alex had left her or was dead somewhere, Jo can’t help the tears that are flowing down her face. In all of the scenarios she had gone through, Alex coming home wasn’t one that she had let herself entertain. The hope would surely break her heart if he did end up being dead or gone somewhere. 

“Of course I came back, I love you Jo,” Alex pulled back to look into Jo’s eyes, fingers coming up to brush her hair out of her eyes. “I love you and I swear I’m not leaving again unless you’re by my side. I just… we have a lot to talk about.”

“I don’t care, I thought you were dead,” Jo cried, eyes welling up with tears again as she grasped Alex’s face desperately. “I don’t care Alex because you came home and that’s all I wanted and-”

“I was with Izzie,” the words freeze Jo, her hands stopping where they were on his cheeks. “Like I said… a lot to talk about”

+

Jo finds herself sitting across from Alex an hour later, fingers nervously pulling at the edge of their sofa. She hadn’t said more than three words since Alex had told her where he had been, too scared of what the next words to come out of his mouth would be. Jo had handled a lot of rejection and pain in her life, but this blow might be the one that undid her well and truly.

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer your calls or texts. I was… busy, distracted and I... ,” Alex sighed, Jo’s eyes finally flitting up to look at him. “When I was calling people for Mer’s trial, Izzie was on my list. And she… she has twins, I could hear them in the background when I talked to her. She told me she used the embryos we had frozen, that the twins were mine. So I went to Kansas, I had to go to Kansas and see them. They’re my kids, Jo.”

The world does seem to stop spinning for a moment, Jo taking in what Alex was telling her. Her stomach dropped, panic welling up inside of her as she realized that Alex had come back to leave her, to build a new life with Izzie and their kids. Jo couldn’t stop the tears that began to silently roll down her face as her heart began to beat out of time.

“Jo? Jo, baby please,” Alex was kneeling in front of her now, hands holding hers in a desperate attempt to get her to listen to him. “Babe, you gotta let me finish. I told you I’m not leaving you, let me finish.”

“You have kids! Somewhere outside of Seattle you have kids and in no universe are you going to know that and stay here with me, Alex,” Jo’s voice was shaking, but the words rolled off her tongue so easily that she knew this was a fear she had held too tightly for too many years. “I meant what I said, you’re a good man. Good men don’t leave their kids thousands of miles away to be with their wife, we both know that all too well.”

Her and Alex hold each other's stares for a moment and Jo wants to scream and kick and beg him not to go. She can see that look on his face, the one that means his mind is far far away and she knows deep down that he’s counting down the seconds until he can leave her and get back to whatever perfect life he had already started to build in Kansas. Of all the people to leave her in her life, she had never anticipated losing Alex, especially not like this. 

“Izzie is remarried, to this great guy named Vince. He… the kids love him and she loves him and…,” Alex let out a small chuckle, tears welling up in his eyes as well. “It’s exactly the life I had pictured for her. She’s happy and she’s alive, she’s got some great kids and I don’t… I don’t feel the need to stay there and be a dad to those kids because that perfect life Izzie has? I want that, I want a big house and kids running around like crazy and I want it all with you, Jo Karev. I can’t picture that with anyone but you. And I’m sorry that it took weeks of me laying alone in a hotel room in freakin’ Kansas to realize that, but I love you so much, Jo. I don’t ever wanna not see you again.”

Jo stared at Alex for a moment longer before reaching a hand up and slapping his shoulder. The worry she had been holding onto, the fear that he was going to leave for this new life, slipped away and Jo almost cried at the relief she felt. She wasn’t shocked that he had wanted to see his kids, see the two little people who were half him. And if you had asked her, Jo would’ve bet money on Alex insisting that he needed to help raise them. But he didn't… he came back home to her. 

“Fucking asshole! Maybe you should’ve started with the ‘I’m staying in Seattle’ part so I didn’t start spiraling out,” Jo exclaimed, her hands coming up to hold Alex’s face, just as he had done for her. She met his nervous eyes with a smile, leaning down to kiss him chastely. “I’m glad you aren’t left wondering about what could’ve been, about them. But maybe call me next time? Please?”

Alex nodded, Jo’s fingers running over the thick beard on his cheek as she kissed him once more. She knew that he would need time, that despite him coming back home to her seeing his kids was a huge shock. Alex had stood by her side more times than she deserved though, walking him through this was nothing compared to the psycho ex husband and the biological mom trauma that she had saddled him with. 

“I want it all with you too, you crazy man. White picket fences and a dog and kids and everything we didn’t get growing up,” Jo let a chuckle slip from her as she rested her forehead against Alex’s. “I missed you so much, I’m gonna keep you in bed for a few days just to make sure you remember what you’d be missing if you left me.”

Alex’s deep laugh sounds then, the sound that Jo had been so desperately craving to hear. She kisses him again, hungrily brushing her tongue against his lips and pulling him onto the couch without a second thought.

“I promise you Jo,” Alex’s breath is hot against Jo as his fingers trail under her shirt. She fights off the urge to close her eyes in pleasure and meets his eyes again. “I’m always gonna come back home to you.”

“I promise you Jo,” Alex’s breath is hot against Jo as his fingers trail under her shirt. She fights off the urge to close her eyes in pleasure and meets his eyes again. “I’m always gonna come back home to you.”

[xlehukax]

Start of Something - A Single Snare (Pt. 7)

-Writing a little series on here as a warm up! In accordance to @orangelegs‘s Hogwarts AU! Updates won’t be on a set time, but they’ll come eventually-

Oh, here I am! And not super late! How peculiar! Sorry to Logicality shippers- Logan is... well, you’ll have to read. Sorry in particular to @patton-cake! But also- Remus warning. He is Remus, and writing him makes me laugh and cringe all at once. What a beautiful character. 

Meanwhile, Roman is out of his gear and preparing to leave the pitch. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices a certain bespectacled commentator. 

Logan, that’s Logan, right? The one Patton told me about, Virgil’s friend, Patton’s crush, yadda yadda yadda. 

I hope that’s Logan, or else this is going to be idiotic. 

“Hey, Loganberry! Come over here!” Roman calls out. The other players of the Gryffindor team smirk and twitter about, wondering what the star chaser wants with the nerd. Roman silences them with a hand. “I’m going to walk and talk with Specs over there, alright? Don’t do anything stupid now,” 

“Can’t promise it, soon to be captain,” one girl purrs. She’s been flirting with him for the better part of a year now, but Roman will never give her the time of day. There’s no attraction, none whatsoever on his side, and why would he get into a loveless relationship like that? He’s waiting for true love, something that makes his heart sing and stomach flutter. Love at first sight, right?

“Aww, you flatter me. Some of you know the way to my heart, hmm? Either way, see you,” Roman casts them a sultry wink, and then waves for Logan to follow him. Logan adjusts his glasses suspiciously but obliges.  

“Roman. What do you need?” Logan gets straight to the point. Roman smiles wide. 

“Do I need to want something from you to talk to you?” 

“Usually, yes,” Logan answers astutely. Roman blanches. It’s true: they always want something from him, whether test help or pointers, never to actually talk. 

“Poor chap! I wish only to speak with you about your friend, Virgil. He’s tutoring me you know, and I heard that you two were close, so I was wondering-” 

“If you could learn about him by pestering me,” Logan sighs. 

“Uh, yeah?” 

“My response is no. Apologies,” Logan shoots him an indescribable look and continues his brisk pace across the field. Roman dashes forwards to catch up. 

“But why? Is he hiding something? Is there something I should know? Why are you not telling me?” 

“Because I respect Virgil’s privacy. He can tell you when he wishes,” 

“Oh. Well. Hmm,” Roman ponders. He makes a good point. “That’s fair enough, I presume. You’re a good friend to Virgil,” 

“You think so?” Logan squints, looking towards the castle longingly. There’s something in that sidelong glance that Roman can’t place. Something about it that makes Roman sad, that reminds him of being younger and desperate for love. It’s disheartening to try and understand, so he stops. 

“Yeah, totally,” Roman says, casting him a thumbs up. Out of nowhere, a large green putrid cloud appears. Roman groans: Logan looks incredibly befuddled as he coughs with the gross stench that fills the air. Manic laughter from inside the cloud only confirms Roman’s suspicions.

“Remus, what in the good name of Dumbledore are you doing?” Roman demands, unsheathing his wand to point it at Remus as he approaches from the cloud of Dungbomb smoke. 

“Making an entrance, what else?” Remus cackles. Roman rolls his eyes, putting his body slightly in front of Logan to protect him from Remus’s unpredictable antics. 

“Does it have to be so-” 

“Stinky??” Remus shrilly cuts in. 

“No, I was going to say so untimely. I’m trying to have a conversation with Logan, I have no time for your oddities,” Roman waves him away. Remus pouts.

“You never have time for me anymore, bro bro! Don’t you love me??” Roman coos, pressing up his own cheeks in a nutty way that Roman rolls his eyes at and Logan looks at curiously. 

“Who are you?” he questions, blatant and robotic. Remus turns his attention to Logan. Logan has no clue what’s going through his head: he presumes it’s either dirty or violent. 

“The name’s Remus Prince, at your service, nerd,” Remus extends a hand to shake with a goofy smile. Logan’s about to take his hand when Roman slaps it out of the way. 

“There is no way you’re genuinely going to shake his hand,” Roman hisses. Logan sighs, already knowing that this is going to be difficult. 

“Uh, yes way, dick-suck,” Remus sticks his tongue out. 

“Bitch, please, the last time you did anything genuine to anyone besides Janus you were too young to understand what the word genuine meant. And even then, you never wash your fucking hands!” Roman scoffs. 

“I’m sorry, do either of you have any sort of need for me or can I go to Transfiguration homework now?” Logan adjusts his glasses, perpetually tired. 

Both twins chorus in with a chirpy “Yes!”. 

Then, “Why do you need to talk to him?” 

Logan feels odd: is this emotion what being wanted feels like? Roman glares at Remus, Remus smiles a wicked sharp-tooth smile at Roman. 

“Both of you, state what you need. In an orderly fashion, please,” Logan instructs. 

“You already know,” Roman sighs dramatically, still giving his twin a side eye, “I came to you to ask about Virgil.” Logan’s eyes narrow. 

“What about Virgil?” 

“His motivations? Passions? Hobbies? Anything, really. All I know really is that he enjoys making fun of me, watches my games, and wicked smart. Oh, and that he’s friends with both you and Patton but not Janus and Remus. Besides that, nothing!” That is a lot more than nothing, Logan thinks to himself drily. 

“Falsehood. And once more, perhaps engaging in a conversational interaction with Virgil will provide more enriching than pressing me for information,” 

“But-“ 

“Next,” Logan adjusts his glasses. Roman huffs indignantly. 

“Oh, oh, that’s me! Hiya! I wanna ask about Virgil too!!” Remus squeals. Logan blinks. Why is Virgil so popular these days? Because of Roman and Patton?

Is he going to forget about me? All these people fawning over him...

No, no, don’t be ridiculous. 

“What do you want with Virgil? The both of you, answer honestly. I do not appreciate liars.” 

“I’m asking because he’s sooooo cute!!!” Remus’s voice is too shrill, too much for Logan. He winces. Roman gapes at Remus. 

“Whaaat? You and… dark and stormy? No, you don’t even know him!!” Roman accuses. Remus bats his eyes at Roman. 

“I think I know more than you do anyway- I know he’s gay, and I know he’s adorable and don’t you just want to eat him up? I could gnaw on those fingers for weeks on end, oh yes Daddy-” 

“How- what- Remus-“ 

“I have never seen you and Virgil together, much less heard him talk of you!” Logan glares. Remus shrugs, smiles maniacally once more. He’s insane, Logan thinks. A complete madman. 

“Just because you can’t see me doesn’t mean I’m not there~” he sing-songs. Roman gags. 

“You’ve been stalking Virgil??” Roman accuses. Logan goes white: So creepy. 

Remus grins widely. 

“Oh gods, Remus, the poor stormcloud- you worsen his anxiety, you know that?” Roman reprimands, protecting Virgil and his security. Logan’s eyes widen, and he looks to Roman. 

“You know about Virgil’s heightened anxiety?” he asks. Logan, before now, had thought he was the only one trusted with that information. He thought he was special. But this reminds him, starkly, that he is not the object of Virgil’s affections. That he is ‘just a friend’. It is infuriating, and stifling. If Virgil could only see that Logan had been there for him all along- 

“Yes, of course. He told me today. A good thing too, I’ll be more careful when I serenade him as payment for tutoring!” Roman booms a laugh. Remus mimics him mockingly, to which Roman casts a glare. 

“No, no, no, you best not, Roman,” Logan’s words come out of his mouth before he can bite them back. Surely, if Roman starts singing to Virgil, he will fall deeper in love and-  Roman and Remus both look at him confusedly. 

“Whyever not?” 

“He… he won’t like it,” Logan feels a bit idiotic with the lacklaster explaination. He’s sure that if he was given more time he would do better but- Roman isn’t exactly the fastest broom in the locker when it comes to intelligence. 

“Why not, Logie?” Remus purrs, inching closer to Logan, who grips the strap of his bag worriedly. “Virgil would looooove it if Roman sang, right?” Roman pulls back Remus from harassing Logan. Remus giggles at Logan’s blush. 

How in the world does this boy who looks like he just crawled out of a trash bin know that Virgil likes Roman? Who told him—

It comes to him instantly: Patton. Patton probably told Remus, because if he’s friends with Janus he’ll probably be close with Remus. Anger flares in Logan’s chest: how could he betray Virgil’s hard won trust like that?? 

No, think logically now. Separate emotions from thinking. Remus mentioned that he has followed Virgil around in the past, so perhaps he overheard our conversations? 

Besides, Patton would never do that. He is... kind. 

“Hey, don’t listen to my imbecile brother, dear Logan. He’s talking out of his ass,” Roman assures Logan. 

“I wish,” Remus snorts. Roman whacks him above the head, to which Remus yelps. 

“Why can’t you be normal? I told mom and dad we should just leave you in a ditch with the other wild animals but nooo, he’s your brother, you have to watch out for him at Hogwarts and make sure he comes home for holidays and summers- honestly, ridiculous. I don’t know why I try: You’re going to fail out any day now anyway,” Roman bemoans. Logan is still deliberating on the mole who knows of Virgil’s budding romance, and coming up only more confused. 

Remus giggles, “I can’t help it if salamander blood and dragon liver is a delicious combination.” 

“Ugh, gross! Now I know why the potions professor is terrified of you! How are you not dead?!” Roman exasperates, looking to Logan for backup. Instead of assistance, he only gets Logan’s intense scrutiny from behind glasses. 

“Are you aware of who Virgil fancies?” He asks sternly. Roman does a double take, dropping his brother, who scurries away like a rat after release, cackling all the while. He’s far away before Roman has a chance to ensnare him once more. Logan blanches, realizing his mistake. 

I am the one that has betrayed Virgil’s trust. I just… I just let it slip that Virgil has a crush. Only a fool wouldn’t realize that it was Roman I speak of, only a blind fool-

“Oh my stars, really? How incredible!” Roman gushes, face flushed with excitement. Logan frowns. 

“You do not find it off putting?” 

“No! Rather, I’m flattered that you’re reaching out to me! I’d love to help Virgil,” 

“You… you would?” 

“Oh, definitely! What are we thinking? A song? A dance? Ooh, flowers?”  

“Excuse me, what are you talking about?” Logan asks, confused all too much. 

“The method of confession to his crush, but of course! I’m quite fond of romantics myself, though I get all clammy when it’s directed towards me. They don’t know me, you know? They only see my outwards appearance and attitude, not the real stuff. I want true love and a prince/princess worth fighting wars for. Like Helen of Troy, or like Sleeping Beauty,” Roman laughs. Logan internally thanks science that Roman is so unprecedentedly unintelligent. 

And then… the thought appears to him, clear as day. Roman would tell him what sort of romance he likes, to get closer to Logan and learn more secretively about Virgil, and in turn Logan can share the knowledge with Virgil. Virgil would be ecstatic… but it would mean that Logan would lose any chance he has by his own hand. That would be illogical, wouldn’t it? 

Instead… What if he gives the wrong information to Virgil? It would mean purposefully masterminding the termination of any budding love but it would surely be in both of their benefits, wouldn’t it? 

Seeing how Roman lacks any true perceptive ability, he could never truly care for Virgil’s many anxieties and triggers. He wouldn’t be able to tell like Logan. He can easily assure himself that he is better for Virgil, whether the object of his affections realizes that or not. 

That’s it. He’ll extract the information from Roman, and give it misleadingly for Virgil to clip this in the bud. He’ll simply share safe things about Virgil, like his favorite things or passions, in exchange for that valuable knowledge. Though a bit complicated, Logan is sure that his plan is foolproof. And… Logan is certainly no fool. 

“Roman,” Logan starts, adjusting his glasses nonchalantly. Roman smiles at him. 

“Yes, dearest nerd?”

“As it appears that you are in fact going to be in close relations with Virgil in the near future. Perhaps it would be for both our benefits to relate to you all things Virgil. And in turn, you can tell me about yourself. For example… your romantic interests?” 

“Ooh, are you hitting on me? I’m flattered-“ 

“Merely an example, I would not sink to your level,” Logan rolls his eyes. Roman scoffs in disbelief. He is clearly not used to hearing that. 

“Ouch, how rude, but otherwise sounds fun! I’m looking forward to getting to know the acclaimed angst-adhered anxiety-stricken stormcloud better,” Roman looks… excited? It is worrying, surely, for Logan’s selfish ideals but he pays it no mind. 

This is merely the first step amongst many in a grand plan. He is simply placing the first pawns to capture the king. With a wave to Roman and a promise to send an owl, he heads to his evening study date with the king himself: lovely Virgil. 

Taglist (Ask to be added if you’d like!):

@justabsbutler @shaded14space @patton-cake @mycatshuman

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[youngblizzardglitter]

Outed

The sun was bright so bright it woke up Terry in a few moments. He hated it with passion and turned over only for it to still be in his eyes.

Terry sighed getting up from his bed his back ached and his head pounded. He had spent the night packing their stuff to move back to their home town. And like usual his younger brother forgot to pack and he had to do it.

He's gonna miss me when am dead. He thinks moving past his boxes to close his window. His boxes wide open go see his stuff he had stopped halfway too tired to continue.

"Your up?" He asks seeing the younger boy putting on his shoes. He was never up this early and usually woke up at ten or eleven.

"Your not." He laughs mentioning his hair wrapped and tired face. Terry rolled his eyes. "I am meeting with Valerie remember?"

"Your girlfriend?" Terry jokes leaning on the stairwell smirking at his pink face.

"No!" He says looking back at his shoes. "She invited me to a party and her friends couldn't come. And I want to be ready."

"What kind of party is so early?" He looks over to the clock that read 7:50.

"It's a long drive from here. The family is rich or something." He shrugs that's what Valerie had told him he didn't know the family either.

"What me to make you something?" He says walking down stretching. "Or do you want to wait for the drive?"

"I don't know may-Hey!" He says as Terry ruined his hair. "I worked hard on this!"

"Okay." He pulls out some milk and cereal. "You want some eggs or?"

"Naw I'll take a sandwich." He says looking for his coat. "Where's my-"

"Upstairs to the left of your bed." He finished knowing he never remembered where it was.

"Thanks." He said running up the stairs to get them.

"Where's my-"

"Up." He says remembering he put his sunglasses there. He really is going to miss me when I die.

"Thanks." He said looking out the window. "There he is!"

"You forgot something!" He says taking his headwrap out. He promptly came back and kissed Terry's cheek.

"Your sandwich you idiotic freckle!" He says as the girl in the car laughed at the nickname Ace stuck his tongue out embarrassed and the older Tornado happily returned the gesture.

But he did take his sandwich ad he would consider it a win.

He quickly needed to get a shower and put on some old clothes he needs to pack he couldn't believe how long this summer had felt.

The death of their uncle had taken a bit of a toll on the both of them he was always busy but he did make efforts whether or not they were needed. He left Terry everything in his estate. So he decided maybe a change of paste and place would help him.

He didn't have such luck. He had to be ready for a call every day about something. He had to do a funeral, a will reading, getting custody of Ace and on top take care of him.

It wasn't like he didn't already he practically raised Ace after their mom died. He still missed her despite not knowing her much.

And hate the bastard that killed her. He thinks closing a box angrily. He had his face burned in memory.

And if I ever have to-

The doorbell rang knocking him out of his daze he didn't even shower yet and someone was at the door. Geez, why is the world so up?

"Terrac-" a big man started. He wore a black suit and had glasses like any businessman. This should have been sign one it was bad along with his government name.

"Terry." He corrects instantly leaning by the door. Everyone always knew after a bit not to call him that.

"I have a letter for you and it's urgent matters we need to discuss." He started to be cut off.

"You have a warrant?" He asks quickly he was smarter than that.

"Am not coming in I just need to make sure this was delivered."

"And read." He hands him a card. "Call me when you do it seems like you have a lot to do." He was judging the state of the house.

Bitch. Terry slammed the door close.

Is it a government letter? No, it's never this serious. Is it the court telling me that I can't adopt Ace? No am almost 18 it's cool.

Then who the fuck was that? Is this blackmail?! What the fuck have I done now?!

Terry breathe and open the letter it can't be that bad, can it?

"Where the fuck is he?!" A voice screamed through the house. Everyone paused hearing it they knew who that was they didn't know why he was here.

Steve's head snapped away from Cree towards an angry Terrence Tornado who had papers in his head. His eyes were dangerous as they glowed purple and that was a bad sign. It meant he was pissed.

"Where the fuck is your father?!" He screams marching towards him.

"Outback why do you-" He couldn't even finish his sentence when the hardest slap he ever got in his life it threw him into the wall. "Ow!" He screams dropping his punch to hold his face as it burned as Tifa asked him if he was okay. His teens and their parents stood in shock knowing the uninvited teen came to start something.

But what?

"Terry what the-" He looked around not finding him.

"Fernando you little bitch!" He screams walking down the staircase that lead to the party for said, man. "What the fuck?!"

Steve quickly went to the balcony to watch as did his teens. His father stood shocked holding his mother's hand who eyes broadened at the sight of purple eyes. So did a few others knowing what they meant.

"Terrance?" He asks as his guests looked at the scene playing before them. Their eyes fixated on how angry Terry was. The way his eyes light up and his face of pure rage.

"What are you doing?"

"I could ask you the same thing!" He pulls the letter open and unfolds it."What the fuck is this?!"

"Paper?" A glass got thrown at his head for that perfect aim. A few gasped when Terry threw it as it nearly hit Rose.

"No a court order for custody of your son." He says looking back on it. "You never claimed him when he was born what's your motive now?!"

"What-"

"How are you pull up to me?!? Tell me " Oh I wanna see my kid so bad am taking you to court for it" like you dont owe him fucking thousands of dollars of child support?!"

He screams walking close to them as they walked back people wondering if they should call the cops.

"I swear on your life if you don't get your head out of your ass and cancel this court date I'll sue you right for negligence and abandonment!"

The air got silent quickly at that. Terry's face didn't look like he was messing around. Mr.Fizz took a sip of the champagne they were serving at his party.

"Terrance-"

"Don't you fucking dare." He snaps knowing he was egging him on. He of all people should know he hated that name.

"Fine Terry. How about we go inside and-"

"And what? Lie to me? Blackmail me? Like you did my mom?" He says not letting him finish people began to whisper.

"I never-"

"Yeah, you did you piece of shit." He says nonchalantly. He wasn't even mad very at that just disappointed.

"Why I never!" Mrs.Dickson announced holding Rose's hand. "What a rude ill-mannered boy. Whatever this is is being blown out of proportion. Did you really need to come today and ruin it?"

Macy Dickson always was a hard-spoken woman she always said what was on her mind. She wouldn't allow her best friends twenty-five marriage be tainted.

Terry looked back at her ready to curse her out and then saw a banner reading: "Happy Anniversary Fernando and Rosetta Fizz."

He didn't have the reaction you'd expect he didn't become sheepish or have a moment of realization he smirked with malice intent.

"Oh, so you didn't tell Rose this party is basically a lie?" He laughs like he was told a joke.

"Terrance-"

"Because you fucked my mom a decade ago? And hid your affair child?" He laughs shaking his head. "She could do better."

"Wait what?!" Steve said from the balcony everyone glanced to see his shocked face as if he been slapped. As his cheek was redder than his shirt. "Dad what's he's talking about?!" The realization of something hitting him hard.

"You a bastard! Your so lucky people are here so I can't kill you!" He stepped forward. "Kinda the way you killed my mom!"

"I-"

"Yeah, you fucking did! I heard that phone call!" He stepped closer again as his wife removed herself from this display completely distraught.

"Was she not enough?! You wanna take Ace from me too?!"

"I swear to God every time our families meet someone from mines dies! What do you want this time?!"

"I don't want-"

"Speak for fucks sake-!"

"Then let me!" He screamed back. He coughs quickly realizing he too now was causing a scene.

"I don't know much about this just yet this was sprung on me a few days ago. Whatever this is can be over promptly."

They stood there looking at each other unfazed waiting for the other to make their move everyone knew the air was tense and that they shouldn't butt in. Two minutes passed before Terrence moved.

"Dear Terrace Max Tornado, We hope that this letter finds you in good health as we recently became aware of you taking custody of your younger brother Alejandro Ace Tornado after the recent death of your uncle Ice Tornado."

Mr.Fizz gapped knowing he was backed into a corner everyone became speechless as they heard intensely Steve leaned in hearing from far.

"But we the court of Virginia state are sorry to inform you that you cannot as his biological father Fernando Burno Fizz wishes to also get that right and demand custody of Alejandro the least fifty percent."

Terry looked back at him testing him.

Say something I dare you. His eyes yelled smirking. 

"Your court date is the first Tuesday of next month. Please being a lawyer and any paperwork that helps with your case as we cannot continue with your demand for custody of your younger brother. While it is unusual to allow it to you at the recent age of sixteen."

"Please contact us or your lawyer for any questions."

He stopped reading looking back on him testing him. His eyes no longer glowing but we're deep purple signaling he was still angry. Mr.Fizz looked down at his glass knowing he was deep in a hole now.

"I haven't even opened the second one you bitch." He snaps putting the letter back. Everyone mouth was open even Macy's

"Terence is it?" His wife asks getting close to him. "Terry." He corrected taking his eyes off him he could sense she wasn't mad.

"What don't you go inside? I want to have a few words with you about your brother." She asked placing her empty wine glass and coming towards.

"Rose this isn't -" Her husband tried he was then giving a hard slap to the face knocking him in the pool people gasping when she poured her champagne on him. Terry put a hand over his mouth as she screamed obscenities in Spanish his way.

"Come on honey." She says quickly shooing him into her kitchen away from the eyes and talk. "You don't have to worry about him anymore."

"Now can you tell me about Ace?" She asks closing the windows

"Don't you want to deal with that?" He asks hearing commotion and Mr.Fizz's voice.

"He made his bed." She says taking off her fancy clothes and heels. Terry looked away for a moment and she looked completely different when out of fancy clothes she still had her makeup.

"Am beautiful I know." She makes a gesture and smirks as Terry softly laughs. They stared at the table not knowing where to start.

"Can I see the letter?" She asks reaching for it."If you will let me?"

"Go for it. I haven't read the other one." He says handing both over. He had been so pissed he flew over with his powers knocking over some cars and mailboxes he hoped no one saw it.

He looked intensely at her as her face went through so much yet not one tear. She then looked back at him and the letter he suddenly felt awkward.

Did she not know? Did I miss read her? Oh God, she didn't know any of this, did she?

Mrs. Dickson was right I just ruined her whole marriage. But I am right she could do way better.

Maybe I shouldn't have barged in and embarrassed her.

"Here." She says dropping a glass of juice. "It's early and you looked like you haven't eaten yet."

"Am good." He says not wanting to overstay his welcome she nods and drinks it.

"So want to discuss?"

"Sure."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Steve winced again when a new layer of ice was put on his face. Chad raised an eyebrow at him annoyed.

"Sorry but this hurts." He says remembering how he got the wound. Terry was stronger than he remembered.

"I still say you fight him or something," Cree said disapproving of him. "He just slapped you like it's nothing important he can't get away from that he assaulted you!"

"I'll talk to my mom about it." He said remembering his mom taking the angry teen to her personal kitchen even he wasn't in. They had been there for hours.

"Is what he saying about your dad true?" Jushtin asked confused. "Or is not?"

Steve thought back to something that happened a few months ago.

"I'll do my best Estaban." Those words echoed in his head as he thought for a second.

"Hold the fuck up." He says getting up and running the stairs. "Hold the fuck up?"

"What's this about?"

"Does mom know?"

"Who is that?"

"Terry?!"

"Dad!" He says coming into the room only to see his dad on the phone.

"Remember a few months ago?"