#I want ro gut myself

[pressure-change]

What a waste...

[olsenmyolsen]

An Album, Apologies, and A Movie Premiere

Part 40 of On The Inside With Elizabeth Olsen

Word Count: 5.7K

masterlist

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March 20th, 2022

IndieMusicNow "Well, the rumors are true! TikTok musician and record-signed artist Hex (real life name being Y/N Y/L/N) was announced by their record label to be releasing an album later this year. The exact details are still being kept under wraps. But this is one artist we don't want to miss."

Billboard Today "Following posts on all social media platforms today, Republic Records announced that newcomer Y/N Y/L/N, whose stage name was also announced to be Hex, will be joining the lineup of album releases this year. First-timers usually don't get this lucky; someone must've heard something. We just can't wait to see what it was."

PopCrave "Looks like All Eyes On Me artist Hex is going to be releasing an album later this year."

Entertainment Celebrity "Fans of Elizabeth Olsen's rumored partner have been spreading since the musician followed an account with their own stage name in the handle. Most are convinced that it's the artist themselves. And while we agree. We're just going to sit and wait."

"Edit: 3/22/22 @ 2:16 pm In a new tweet posted below; the artist confirmed that it was indeed them!"

"And again @ 2:23 pm."

"And @ 2:28 pm."

BuzzFeedMusic "Everything we know about the TikTok artist turned album maker Hex. Who are they? Where did they come from? And have they done shady things to get there? Plus! You'll never guess who they're dating!"

@lizziesfutureex      @BuzzFeedMusic not only is this shady writing but publicly blasting Lizzie and Y/N as a couple when they've never confirmed that they are together again is actually horrible

@hexthestars13      @lizziesfutureex wait... Hex is rumored to be dating Lizzie Olsen?? THE ELIZABETH OLSEN?? SASAHJKGSK

@lizziesfutureex      @hexthestars13 again only rumored but yes. you're a Hex fan did you not know??

@hexthestars13      @lizziesfutureex im new to the fandom after discovering her TikTok's and watching her performance from LA last year on YouTube. so no. i had no idea!

@lizziesfutureex    @hexthestars13 omg wait that's the show lizzie went to last year?!? The one with Ro***e!? Okay maybe I should open Spotify 👀

@hexthestars13      @lizziesfutureex 😊

@scrunchnoselizzie      @hexthestars13 @lizziesfutureex no but fr they be fuckin'. uhauled and everything.

@MadMaxMoore @yikesitshex fuck 'em ❤️🫶

@romanoffthereal     @yikesitshex never taking another one of their quizzes again 😌

@witcheswhores     @yikesitshex i know buzzfeed of all people just ain't make our Hex sad!??!

May 2nd, 2022

Y/N POV

"I'm still having nightmares..."

I breathe out and shift my body on the brown leather couch. Cliché, I know, but Sofia, my therapist, loves it.

"Have they gotten worse?" Sofia asks me. I briefly look her way before nodding. Guilt and shame I still carry with me. "Would you like to go into more detail?" She questions as I swallow the lump in my throat. "Umm." I start. "Basically, it starts out the same..." I clear my throat and move myself into a much less relaxed position.

"Liz will be gone for the day, and I'll be at home on the phone with my mom waiting for Liz to return.. Sometimes, she'll show up in the kitchen's entryway like before. Or... Other times, she won't show up at all..." I clear my throat and run my hands up and down my knees. "The times that she does show up, it's just like how it happened, except she doesn't hold back. And nightmare Liz says things I know Liz wouldn't... but it feels real. So real."

"Have you told Liz about these nightmares?"

I nod. "I did."

"Did?" Sofia writes something down before looking up at me, waiting for me to continue. I shrug. "I can't bring myself to tell her about the more gut-wrenching and violent nightmares."

Sofia takes a second before replying.

"I could understand that. But do you think there might be another reason?"

I do, and it's stupid. I exhale and feel small at this moment. "I- apart of me-." I close my mouth and start over. "There's this voice in the back of my head. And I don't know whether to listen to it or not."

"What's it telling you?"

"That Liz doesn't trust me anymore."

I feel a flash of embarrassing warmth runs over my body. My body is telling me not to trust the words my brain is making me believe. "What do you think? Do you think Liz has lost trust in you?" I move my eyes away from Sofia and onto my glass of water sitting on the cork coaster four feet from me. It hasn't been there terribly long, just long enough that some condensation has set in on the sides of the glass.

"Y/N?" Sofia calls for me to focus up. I slowly do, bringing my eyes back to her. I shrug. "I could see her losing her trust in me." Sofia sits quietly as I open and close my mouth. "And... I know you tell me that it's not my fault, but it is. What happened to her was my fault because of my lack of actions."

Sofia shakes her head. "I'm not here to tell you what you choose to keep to yourself was bad or awful. I'm here to listen and to help you. But yes, I don't think it was your fault what happened." Sofia leans back into her chair. "So why do you think Liz does?"

"I didn't say Liz did." Sofia looks at me with a really face. "Y/N." She puts her pen down. "We've been seeing each other for half a year now. I like to think that I can read between the words that you're not saying. So let me ask you and be honest with me. Do you think Liz has lost trust in you because of what happened with her who shall-not-be-named because we made an agreement? And if so, could you give me a reason?"

I smile at her agreement and then try to think of a reason. Slowly, wondering if my mind was just being cruel or not.

Liz POV

"Sounds like you guys need to have sex."

I slam the pantry door close and turn to my sister. "Oh my God! Courtney! I am not having this conversation with you!" I shake my head and pull my water bottle close to my lips. Unscrewing the cap as I roll my eyes. "I can't believe you sometimes." I take a sip of my water before closing it. "We're supposed to be having a nice breakfast. You ask about Y/N. One thing leads to another, and you say that!"

Court puts her hands up, straightens her shirt, and laughs as she steps away from her empty plate.

"Besides, you know it's more complicated than that." I grab the plate and turn towards the sink. My mind starting to wander away as the water gets hot.

But it's true. Y/N and I haven't been exactly on the same page for a bit now.

"I know Lizzie. I'm sorry it was a bad joke."

Court walks up next to me and bumps me out of the way so she can wash her dish. "It's okay." I breathe out as I scoot away.

"Is it? Are you?" Court asks as she shuts off the water.

"Some days are better than most. Those days, we feel like we're how we were before. But.. but then there are moments where I remember and feel hurt." I rub the spot on my wrist where the bruise has faded. "And I know it wasn't purposeful, but... I don't know it just-"

"Just would've been easier if she told you from the start."

I nod to my sister.

No one aside from Max, Courtney, and Kathryn Hahn knows what happened. I didn't want to tell my mom and the twins because as much as they love Y/N, I'm afraid they wouldn't be as understanding as I want people to be like Kathryn and Courtney.

And I know Y/N told Max. Max not so subtly sent me a text recently talking about how amazing Y/N is. I think whenever Y/N called Max, the most damaging parts of her mind were telling her things that would never happen.

"I'm sorry, Lizzie." Courtney places the plate on the drying rack and dries her hands. "But like you said, you know it wasn't on purpose. Y/N just didn't want to believe it was someone that was so vile and abusive towards her." I nod with a sheepish look. "I mean.. if I were in Y/N's shoes, I probably would've done the same... maybe. I don't know." Courtney shakes her hand and tosses the drying rag onto the countertop.

"Where is she, by the way?" Courtney asks, pulling my focus away from the talk I need to have with Y/N. "Oh, Uhh.." I tilt my watch towards myself. "She should be on her way home."

Courtney looks at her Apple Watch. "Therapy?" I nod. "She's been having nightmares. She thinks I don't know." I pull my phone out and sigh. "But whenever she shoots awake, it wakes me up..."

"Do you know what they're about?"

"Me. Her. Naomi." I grimace at that final name. "Ah." Court replies. I can tell she wants to ask or say more about the situation but doesn't.

"Is she still ubering?"

I smile and quickly breathe in and out at the conversation moving along before making a kinda motion with my hand. "Sometimes. She took the Prius this morning."

"How does she not have a car yet?" I shrug. "She didn't need one in New York or her for a while, so there was no need. But we both know she needs one now. So she's been looking at some."

"Oh yeah?" Courtney smiles, getting excited. "Like what?! A jeep? A Tesla? Oh, wait! A convertible! Oh my God, Y/N would look so hot in one!" Courtney goes wide-eyed and shuts her mouth closed as I stare at her. "What I meant to say was... is that I hope it's a nice car. One she can look modest in."

I once again roll my eyes. "Uh-huh. Does Ness know about your little crush?" I make a teasing face at my little sister. She rolls her eyes back to me.

"Yes, she does." Courtney smiles before quickly masking it. "It's not a crush, by the way!! I promise! I just love your girlfriends music."

"And her looks," I mumble. "What was that?" Court asks. "Nothing." I smile as I walk the two of us outside to the garden.

"Wow. It gets more impressive every time I come over." Courtney stands there in awe as I pick up my garden gloves to get to work. "Thanks." I smile back.

"Has Y/N done anything in the garden?"

I shake my head. "She can sometimes have the opposite of a green thumb. And she's a complainer." I laugh as Court nods, finding a spot on the outdoor couch. "Must only be an Olsen thing. Ness can't water a plant to save her life." I chuckle and bend down in the dirt. "I tried teaching her a while ago, but it ended up with me banning her." I hear Courtney laugh. "Maybe I'll try again in the Summer. Maybe after the twins' birthday." I add on as I start snipping.

"I like that." Courtney vaguely says. "Like what?" I lift my head to her. "That even though you're in this place with Y/N now. You still see a future with her."

I lower my hands and think. She's right. Of course, I see a future with Y/N. We've already gone through so many hardships and times without one another. Why would I want that again? Why would I even be with her now if I don't see a long future with her? Us. Marriage. Kids. I see it only with her.

"Yeah, yo-you're right." I lift my head up and smile as the lump in my throat goes down.

I love Y/N with all my heart.

I don't want this distance between us to be present anymore. I want her.

I look at my watch again. She should be home soon. "Lizzie..." I look over at my sister as I snip at another plant. "Hmm?" Courtney puts her phone down and looks at me. "Dad's trying to get me to convince you to talk to him again." I sigh and groan. Courtney nods. "I'm not going to do that. I just wanted to let you know that he's been trying."

"He can try all he wants. You. The Twins. Jake. I don't want to talk to him." Courtney nods again. "I know... how many times this week has he tried calling you."

"Twice."

Courtney hums. "Well, even if he's tried repairing the bridges with the rest of us, we're still in your corner, Lizzie." I smile and thank her before I spend the next few minutes in quiet. Thinking about Y/N.

I know she would never do anything to hurt me, and I know how incredibly guilty she still feels for everything that happened. I feel a pang of guilt as well. I sigh, rip off my gloves, and throw them into the dirt. My mind won't let me focus on the greenery today.

Instead, my eyes focus on my left hand. Empty.

I look around the garden and look into the house. This is our home. Ours. I smile at the memories we've already made and think about the future.

I look back to my hand before looking at Courtney. "Hey, Court..." Courtney shoots her head up from her phone. "Yeah?"

"I'm not saying I want to, but how soon do you think is too soon to get eng-"

"Liz? Babe?"

The sound of Y/N's voice shuts me up as I quickly stand up and brush the dirt off my hands and pants. "Hi!" I smile and walk towards my girlfriend as Courtney stands up to steal a hug first.

"Hey, Courtney!" Y/N smiles widely and hugs my sister.

They've been in contact since Thanksgiving, and she is always happy to sit and talk to her like a friend she's known for years. It's been great to say.

Even Mary-Kate and Ash got a little jealous.

"What are you doing here?" Y/N asks as I wrap my arms around her and kiss the side of her head. When I pull away, I see a flush on her cheeks. She looks at me and smiles. It reaches her eyes for the first time in... well, anyway, I smile back and give her an I missed you look.

She sees it.

"Oh, you know, just stalking you-" Court says clearly without thinking before nervously laughing and covering her mouth. "Oh my God! That was supposed to be a bad a joke! I didn't mean-" She gets more flustered and has a scared look on her face as Y/N and I just stare at Courtney.

It's obviously a sore subject still, but we know Courtney didn't mean anything but it.

"It's alright," Y/N assures her with a flat smile. "Let's just..." Y/N stops talking as Courtney quickly looks at me with a sorry look. "Courtney was just helping me get some stuff done around the house before tonight!" I interject and brightly smile. "Yes! I can't wait!" Courtney catches on and shows her excitement for the premiere tonight of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness!

"Aren't you excited!" Courtney asks Y/N, who nods her head. "Just nervous, honestly." I rub my hand up and down her back. "About what?" I question as Y/N sheepishly looks at me. This worries me a bit.

I think Court catches onto the slowly shifting vibe and makes the decision to grab some waters for the three of us. "Y/N?" I tilt my forward. "What's up?" Y/N avoids my eyes and holds my hand. Leading me to the shade-covered outdoor couch.

She holds my hand before lifting her beautiful face to me as we sit down. I smile at her and wait patiently. Silently letting her know that I'm here.

I'm here.

Y/N nervously opens and closes her mouth before finally saying: "I love you, Liz."

"I love you too, Y/N," I reply back with the same inflections as her.

"Are we okay?" She asks, and I don't waste a second tightening her hand in mind. "We are," I reply, only to earn a shake of the head. "No, Liz, really... are we?" I swallow the feeling in my throat and nod once again. "We are. We are Y/N."

"And y-you trust me?"

Y/N asks with a shaky breath. Clearly, this is a question that's been plaguing her. "More than anything." I close my mouth and scoot more into my girlfriend's touch. "Y/N... look at me."

Y/N lifts her head to me, and I see how much sadness is being held in her eyes; before I can think of what to say, my mouth starts rambling.

"I love AND trust you more than anything..." I sigh when I think about how the two of us have been walking on eggshells with one another when we've done this song and dance before.

"I'm sorry for giving you distance when you didn't need it. Or for making you feel bad or guilty when that wasn't my intention... I don't blame you." I catch my breath and give a sad smile. "I was just so upset... I'm sorry." Y/N keeps her eyes on me as I softly speak to her before I see them dip down to my neckline. I look down and know that I just so happened to be wearing the necklace she gave me on our second first date.

"Y/N, I trust and love you, and all I want is for us to put her in the rearview. It's you and me, remember."

Y/N nods and gives me a watery smile with her bright eyes. "I remember." She sniffles. "I just never want you to be hurt because of me again, Liz."

Tears threaten to spill.

"I won't because you won't. Okay?" I can see the relief on Y/N's face as a tear falls from her chin. "Oh, baby.." I wrap my arms around her and let my girlfriend collapse into me. Her face falls as she buries it into my neck. Her tears landing on the exposed skin.

"I'm sorry..." She whispers. "There is nothing to be sorry for," I whisper back. "I just love you so much. I'm so happy to have you in my life, Liz." I kiss the side of her head and allow Y/N to let herself fall apart in my arms as I whisper sweet nothings into the top of her head.

When the tears slow, Y/N eventually lifts her head to me as we're settled into the corner of the couch.

"I love you, Elizabeth Chase Olsen." She speaks in a hushed tone as her fingers dance along my knee. "I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N." I smile at her touch and take ahold of her chin, quickly giving her a peck on the lips before asking: "Is there anything else on your mind?" Y/N barely budges as she gives me a little shrug before nodding.

"Your premiere is tonight." I nod along to her words. "Uh huh.."

I watch Y/N close and open her eyes. "Am I coming?" I stop and tilt my head, confused. "Of course, you're coming! I have your outfit picked out for you and everything! We talked about this a month ago." I look into her eyes that, hold a look of loss and confusion. "Oh..." Y/N simply states. "I don't remember us talking about it."

She furrows her eyebrows, trying to remember. I do the same because she should remember, right?

After a moment of silence, I look to the door to the backyard and see Court smiling with a thumbs up before she disappears into the house.

"OH!" Y/N breaks up the moment between us. "I remember you talking about it. It was... it was right before Kathryn's party." She starts explaining as I nod. "That's right!"

"You looked stunning." Y/N winks with her tired, cried, and dried eyes. "As did you." I kiss her head as she continues. "I think that's the moment I knew I would never write a break-up song about you."

I smile and let out a laugh through my nose. "Is that right?" Y/N nods. "Clearly left an impression, but I think while you were talking about my outfit for the premiere, I was thinking about a song for you..." I sit up, shocked that this is the first I've heard about this. "A song... for me!?" Y/N sniffles and laughs, clearly a little shy about it. "Yeah..."

"Hey! What- why- I." I can't even form a sentence as I'm trying to find the right words to use before settling on it. "Can I hear it?" Y/N takes her left hand in my right and kisses it. "Not yet... not right now." The corners of my mouth dip down slightly, but it's Y/N choice. I'm just happy to have her here and to be a part of her process, no matter how big or how small. "Sorry." She says, but I'm quick to shake my head. "I'll listen to it whenever you want me to. Can I ask what it's maybe about?"

Y/N thinks before saying: "It's about being yours. Your one. Our future..." I see Y/N's eyes dart to my left hand before moving to my face. "I know we've barely scratched the surface when we've talked about it, and I'm sorry if this is a little scary, but after the past month and day I've had, I just need you to know, Liz, that I'm with you. For better and for worse."

"It's not scary." I'm quick to tell her. "And believe me, I know this because I'm yours, and I'm with you. For better or for worse. It's you and me."

"You and me."

I smile as Y/N's lips melt into my own. She lifts herself up and crawls onto my lap, facing me. She kisses me again and again before kissing my jawline, smiling. I react by finding my lips on the side of her face. Marking my way up to her ear before Y/N giggles and backs away. "We shouldn't." She says with a look in her eye and a smile that screams WE SHOULD. "Why?" I ask with a smirk.

"I don't want to traumatize Courtney."

Shit. I forgot she was here. Instead of answering, I roll my eyes and kiss Y/N softly as she places her head next to mine.

"Liz?" She whispers into my ear. "Yes?" I whisper back as my hand moves up and down her body.

"We're not engaged now, are we?"

My hand movement stops, obviously catching Y/N's attention. She rapidly leans back into my hand and looks at me in the eyes. "Just to be clear!" Y/N's anxious voice comes through. "I don't think we are! But! Everything we just said to one another would make it seem like we did just propose! Right??"

I swallow the last remaining calmness I probably had as my body starts to grow nervous and anxious. Because Y/N is right. "You don't think we are?" I ask, not knowing why I said that! "Are we??" Y/N goes wide-eyed! "I don't want this to be how I propose to you!"

"You want to propose to me!??" My pitch and tone matches hers. Y/N lifts her hands and covers her face. "I mean, obviously! I'm dating Elizabeth Fucking Olsen. I didn't want to do it today! If that's what just happened!!"

She lifts her hands and runs them through her hair before breathing out. I can't help but look at how adorable and fucking precious Y/N is being in this shared anxiety-inducing moment.

"Okay," I say as Y/N looks at me. "Okay?? Okay, what?!?" I hold my hands and take hers.

"Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes," I confirm. "I would love to marry you and accept your proposal... but it shouldn't be today." Y/N's smile doesn't falter as she takes a breather before nodding. "It shouldn't be." She says back. "Is that okay?" I ask. "More than okay." Y/N laughs as she's coming down from her high.

Her heart probably going as fast as mine.

"You really want to marry me?" She says as her hands find my hips. "Someday. Yes." I hear Y/N whisper, "That's cool." Making me smile and say: "And what if I want to propose?" 

"Then just do it before me, Olsen."

"Hmm, okay, Y/L/N." I lean up to kiss Y/N, but she backs away before my lips reach hers. "I'm taking your last name, just so you know."

"As if you couldn't get any sexier."

After a while of kissing and talking, Y/N falls asleep on top of me as I lay holding her on the couch. I clasp my hands around her body, kiss the top of Y/N's head, and smile as I switch the ring on my right hand onto my left ring finger.

Someday. Not today. But someday...

Later That Day

Republic Records "Grabbing some candles and blankets for a special livestream this Friday!"

@multiversemother @yikesitshex calling it now the album name is gonna be called Midnight!

@scrunchnoselizzie     @multiversemother didn't they say that the album was going to be self-titled?

@hexthestars13     @scrunchnoselizzie     @multiversemother omg what if it's called debut like Taylor Swift!

@lizziefolkmore @hexthestars13     @scrunchnoselizzie     @multiversemother why would it be called Taylor Swift???

Y/N POV

I sit next to my beautiful and elegant girlfriend as we sit in the back of a black Escalade on the way to her world movie premiere here in Los Angeles!

Liz is dressed in a full black set of Alexandre Vauthier blazer and pants with Jimmy Choo platform sandals to match. And I can't get over how much my mouth waters at the sight.

Earlier, she gave me a treat of kisses before her makeup was finished so I would be on my best behavior. If my nerves weren't threatening to spill out all over the backseat, I probably wouldn't be.

Well, anyways, in contrast to her black, I'm wearing a Scarlet Red Michael Kors jumpsuit with heels to match. I thought about wearing sneakers, but I'm fairly certain Liz had Courtney hide them from me.

Speaking of Courtney in the car behind us, she is also wearing red in the form of a dress that makes her smile shine brightly.

Damn the Olsen and their genes.

I smile at Liz as she is locked into the camera on her phone. Looking at herself and the way her hair is. She was sculpted by God and yet worries about a strand of hair from time to time. "Babe, leave it. Sascha did great!" I playfully smack her hand away from her hair, making her quit. Also, so I could wrap my fingers around hers. I guess my grip was a bit too strong because Liz was immediately pulling away to take a proper hold of my face.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" I try to slowly nod yes but fail. "I'm nervous," I tell the truth and watch a sympathetic smile form on her face. "Do you want to tell me what about..?"

I swallow. "It's our first time being somewhere like this. Being a couple. In public together." Liz nods along. "It's not like when we were in Austin for Love & Death, and it's not like here when we go incognito to Target together. This... this is different."

Liz carefully thinks over her next few words to me before speaking. "We don't have to go public if you're not ready. I'm ready whenever you are."

"I know, but that's just the thing. I'm ready now. We've talked about it, Liz, and I am ready. It's just scary."

"It is scary." Liz agrees. "But there's no one I'd rather do it with. Plus..." Liz smiles and takes my hand back to wrap her fingers around mine. "Think of all the people like us... I'm thinking of Geneva right now." I smile at that. "I bet she's watching the live streams," I say with a shake of my head as my phone glows with a new text.

"Whose that?" Liz leans into me to look at a message from Bo in his new publicist role. "Looks like the record company is pushing my new identity everywhere." Liz reads the text over again and then looks at me. "So if we do interviews on the red carpet, you're going to be introduced as Hex?!"

I nod. "I mean, it was going to happen eventually, I guess.." I like the name and the idea of promo starting now, but starting on the premiere of Liz's new movie feels weird to me. "Hmm." Is all she says before turning away.

"Liz?"

"Yeah?" She turns back to me. "Is this okay with you?" I can see it in her eyes that it's not 100% alright. But her being perfectly supportive, I watch her lie and say: "Of course."

"Liz..." I whine, making her remain stoic. Damn, being a fantastic actress. "Talk to me."

"I'm fine." "Liz." She goes to argue that she's fine again, but I drop my phone and stare her down. "Ugh." She groans. "I... I just wanted the world to know Y/N first. Not Hex."

"Oh..."

"But it's a part of your and our life now, so it's fine." She turns back to look out the windows, as her words hurt me more than she realized just as we pull up to the premiere. The driver parks as a man in a tux walks towards the door, getting ready to open it.

Without warning, I reach over Liz and lock the door. "Y/N!" She exclaims as I turn her to look at me. Her eyes moving away from the man, trying to open the door but failing. "I will always be Y/N Y/L/N before Hex or before we get married, and I change my last name to Olsen so for tonight and however many moons after you call me Y/N. Not Hex. Just Y/N like I know you want to. Like you always have."

"Y/N I-"

She goes to argue, but I unlock the door and watch the man stumble backwards as the door flings open. Making a few people behind him laugh. I ignore the looks from my girlfriend as I give a wait-one-second look to everyone outside waiting before closing the door again to kiss Liz.

Because to me, she's Liz. Like to her, I'm Y/N.

"You and me." She says with a bright, pearly white smile before bringing her thumb up to wipe her lipstick off my lips. "You and me," I reply as her soft thumb leaves my red lips.

"Stay here," I whisper to her as I exit from my side of the car and come around to her side full of flashing cameras and screaming fans. I take a quick second and do my best to calm my nerves before opening the door to my girlfriend, whose smile blesses itself down onto me. I extend my hand to her to help her get down and out of the car, and when she does, she turns to me and kisses me. In front of the whole world.

Elizabeth Olsen and I just became public.

Liz POV

I'm going to be honest. I didn't plan on kissing Y/N just then, but she just looked so fucking sexy, and I could tell she was so anxious about tonight that I couldn't help myself. She's mine, after all!

Regardless, the amount of photos of us quadrupled when I did it. Meaning if it's not trending, it will. Everyone will see it. Max, Y/N's label (which should help them), Aubrey, My Dad, and a crazy ex who is awaiting a meeting at a courthouse.

Isn't it so weird how doing something considered normal by most will make you trend?

Anyways, I take a hold of Y/N and don't let her go throughout almost all of the photos I'm forced to take for my job. I laugh and help Y/N as she struggles to find her angle in a sea of cameras, but by the time it's time for my solos, she's nailing it.

Her stage name gets called, and she plays it as if she's heard it a million times before.

I watch in awe and amazement at how far she's come.

"Ms. Olsen!" A staff member surprises me as they appear by my side, letting me know that interviews are set to start and that I need to move along. I thank them but let them know that I'd be waiting for my girlfriend, and to say they did a double-take would be an understatement. But with one quirk of the eyebrow, they retreated.

Thank you, Scarlett, for that life hack.

"Hi!" Y/N is all smiles as she greets me. "Hi!" I reply back. "You ready?" I ask, knowing that the same staff member already told Y/N that we'd be doing a majority of the interviews together. "Yes... wait!" I stop and watch Y/N pull out her phone and point her camera towards me! I pose and smile at her antics before stopping when she looks down at her phone.

"Okay, now I'm ready!"

A/N: And before you ask yes! Y/N met the actors for Billy and Tommy and took silly selfies with them :)

Oh, and Xochitl Gomez tried her best to get Y/N to spill any details about the upcoming album.

[disenchantedif]

Noah Kahan songs for the ros? ☝️

Bored at work so I’m answering asks. I love this one. Luci’s was almost Dial Drunk for the record but they’d never actually have the guts to call MC lmfao.

Viktor: Everywhere, Everything

Everywhere, everything; I wanna love you 'til we're food for the worms to eat; 'til our fingers decompose, I'll keep my hands in yours

Theo: She Calls Me Back

I don't get much sleep most nights, I'm seeing you in every dream; if only I could wake you up, if only I could fall asleep; I'll love you when the ocean's dry, I'll love you when the rivers freeze

Charlie: Come Over

Someday I'm gonna be somebody people want; but I'm in the business of losing your interest and I turn a profit each time that we speak

Luci: Animal

White lies take all of the color from you; most nights you don't sleep at all and you black out blind; you hide, is there any wonder no one ever really tries to call?

Cameron: False Confidence

Why won't you take me seriously? Look at me all fucked up over someone I'll never meet; and I wonder why I tear myself down to be built back up again

Harlow: Howling

Where to begin? Oh, let's pretend we never met so I can disappear a moment; I've been trying to swim with both my hands behind my back; my dear, I always feared the ocean

Penny: The View Between Villages

It's all washin' over me, I'm angry again; the things that I lost here, the people I knew, they got me surrounded for a mile or two

Avery: Carlo’s Song

Still haven't found what I'm looking for, some escape from my sin; you know that place you been dreaming of where all light comes in.

And I'll keep growing my hair out long just to cover my eyes; and I'll keep playing that goddamn song if it keeps you alive

The Wraith: Halloween

It's an ode to the hole that I found myself stuck in, the song for the grave that I dug; there's a murder of crows in the low light off Boston and I see your face in each one

[delimeful]

carry them home (4)

warnings: magical oaths, mentions of past harm/captivity, mentions of murder, canon-typical remus behavior, lmk if i'm missing any

-

His declaration, predictably, sparked an entirely new argument.

Logan had wasted a few moments trying to call Janus’s bluff, and then, once it became clear that a Deal was absolutely not happening, he had been promptly dragged into the brewing argument.

Patton was vehemently against murder, and the fire sprite seemed to be tentatively backing him up. Logan was clearly weighing the benefits and the risks, his clear irritation with Janus seemingly warring with the fallout of going against Patton’s wishes. Vee appeared to be holding up the pro-murder side of the argument through sheer force of loathing.

Nobody had asked Remus for his opinion, presumably because the answer was extremely obvious. The kid was still leaning obnoxiously on Janus, watching the debate like a tennis match and nodding faux-wisely every once in a while.

“I don’t suppose you’d be willing to look the other way while your companions are distracted?” Janus asked dryly, tilting his head slightly to see that the hands on him were utterly caked in dirt.

“And miss the opportunity to see how many ghoul fungi I could grow out of your corpse? You ask too much of me,” Remus replied, tilting Janus back slightly so he could peer upside down at his face.

Startlingly, underneath the errant patches of lichen and mold, the changeling’s face bore a remarkable resemblance to the fire sprite.

Rather than comment on it, Janus rolled his eyes. “At least grow edible ones. Waste not, want not, as the conscientious say.”

Remus blinked, and the edges of his smile grew sharper with delight. “Any corpse mushrooms are edible if you're not a coward!”

Janus hummed in agreement. “And if you don’t mind becoming a corpse yourself.”

Those mismatched eyes vanished, and there was a nasally laugh, as though he’d thrown his head back to cackle. “You’re awfully relaxed for a guy we might pull all the guts out of!”

Part of that was the lingering effect of the trance, as well as the theory that if he planned an escape too actively, he might send the soothsayer into another foretelling episode.

(It was strange. Normally, involuntary visions of the future were triggered by impending danger, but Janus hadn’t had any harmful intentions while pondering escape.)

Of course, he wasn’t about to tell them that.

“There’s no point to mindlessly panicking,” Janus said instead. “Besides, as far as captors go, I’ve had much crueler ones.”

“Are you sure? We’re literally trying to decide if I get to mulch your body!” Remus informed him cheerily. His sharp-toothed little grin was practically designed to incite terror; Janus felt a small surge of fondness despite himself.

“Indeed, but a few of you don’t seem to want me dead, so my statement stands.”

“‘A few’ is generous,” Vee muttered, and then ducked away from Patton’s puppy dog eyes.

“He hasn’t done anything wrong!” Patton insisted. Generally speaking, that wasn’t remotely true, but Janus wasn’t about to correct him. “We shouldn’t hurt innocents!”

“Patton, we have to focus on keeping ourselves safe,” Logan tried, a sort of halfheartedness to the words, as though he already knew they wouldn’t sway the other fae.

“What’s an epic voyage without a few struggles?” the fire sprite countered. “This serpentine stranger may have some tricks up his sleeve, but a hero such as myself will valiantly protect you all from any threat he may pose!”

Vee scoffed. “Ro, you can’t even protect us from your twin’s bad singing.”

Ro gasped, placing an affronted hand to his chest, but before they could return to bickering, Logan mantled his wings in an unspoken demand for attention.

“If we aren’t killing him—,” he pointedly ignored the groan from Vee, “—we need an alternative method of ensuring he won’t hurt anyone.”

“Remove his arms!” Remus offered helpfully. Patton winced, and Logan sighed.

“Physical restraints seem to be effective enough for the moment. Our primary concern should be countering whatever method the human used to break free of my trance.”

“Or,” Janus interjected mildly, “we could skip the mind magic entirely, and negotiate instead.”

“Right, because you’re so trustworthy,” Vee snapped. He’d started aggressively pacing at some point during the discussion, his shoulders hunched inward.

The kid made an astute point, as inconvenient as it was.

“I’m not the one who chose to be dragged out here and interrogated,” Janus said, tone only slightly snippy. “However, I would be willing to swear a blood oath, if that is what’s required to ease your minds.”

All of the kids turned to him with wide-eyed surprise, though Vee snapped back into anger within moments.

“You don’t get to put any of us under oath—,” he started, edging in front of the others with bared teeth.

“I would be the sworn party,” Janus interrupted, heroically resisting the urge to sigh at the assumption.

Another beat of silence, though Remus and Ro seemed more bemused than anything.

“You’d rather subject yourself to a blood oath than a Deal?” Logan asked, his expression shifting to something more pensive as he studied Janus. “Have you… been under oath, before?”

Janus resisted a dry laugh. “I have,” he understated.

“But blood oaths hurt!” Patton chimed in, still looking far too worried on behalf of a relative stranger.

He was well aware. “The pain is only debilitating if I actively act against the agreed terms. As long as I am guaranteed my safe release by the end of the oath, I am willing to endure the side effects.”

Vee had gone quiet, watching him intently with those tar pit eyes.

“Alright,” Logan said, and settled into a neat, cross-legged sit in front of Janus. “Let’s negotiate.”

—

The agreement ended up being relatively straightforward, for how long-winded their discussion was.

Janus had agreed not to harm, or plan to cause harm to, any of the kids. He’d agreed to offer his honest knowledge on not only the movement of the Guard, but any relevant matters that could aid their journey. He’d agreed to follow the orders of whoever was currently assigned as his watcher, but only that designated person.

He’d insisted on that wording, having already picked up on the frequent bickering that went on between the kids. Being subject to one highly-opinionated child at a time was manageable. Being subject to magically compelled orders from all five of them was a recipe for disaster.

In exchange, he would not be killed, and he would part ways peacefully with the gaggle of infants after the oath period— a completed moon’s cycle— had passed.

He had spent so much time weaving loopholes into his requirements and playing innocent as Logan caught and unraveled the vast majority of them, that he hadn’t actually realized how heavily skewed against him the deal was until the oath was already being made.

That was what he got for indulging in bad habits, he supposed. A necessary evil, as he doubted the children would have trusted his word if he’d simply stated what he meant outright.

They had good instincts— it was always better to be watching for the trap— but in the end, they were still young. Rooting out Janus’s double-meaning machinations had successfully distracted them from including the conditions Janus wanted to avoid-- one that would force him to tell them anything about his own person, for example.

(Really, his highly suspect background aside, it was none of their business.)

He didn’t bother trying anything during the ritual swearing itself, both because Vee was watching him like a starved hawk, and because he wasn’t a fool that meddled with the processes of blood magic.

The heavy, dull ache of a blood oath settled onto Janus like an old jacket draped over his shoulders. He hadn’t missed it. Still, it was leagues better than making a Deal.

Five gazes watched him with varying levels of curiosity and wariness, as though waiting to see if he would spontaneously combust under the force of the oath.

Janus pushed down the stress that always accompanied arrangements like these, reminding himself that he was in the here and now. As far as captors he’d been magically bound to went, he’d endured far worse for far longer.

It would only be a month. They were children. This would likely be the easiest trip he’d ever made under blood oath.

“My first piece of advice,” he offered with a winsome smirk, “would be to move eastward. Odds are good that your encounter with the shopkeep will linger in her mind enough to mention it to the Guard, and I assume we’ll want to be well ahead of any scouting parties sent off the way I led you out of town.”

Vee crossed his arms, scowling. “We’re not going to find Sanctuary in the east. It’s in the mountains.”

“I’m not giving you information on how to get to Sanctuary, the place that isn’t real. I’m telling you how to not get caught by hunters,” Janus replied, saccharine-sweet.

Vee hissed petulantly.

“Ooh, ooh!” Remus waved his hand around wildly. “We could always go with my plan and immolate the Guard! I always wanted to go out in a blaze of gory glory.”

Patton chuckled nervously. “Immolate? I think I’d prefer we get moving immoearly to avoid the Guard instead!”

Remus booed. Ro also booed, but it seemed to be more about the pun than denial of mauling.  

“Patton is correct. We don’t want to be caught unaware, particularly at nightfall,” Logan said, folding up his map after adding a few careful notations to it. “The human’s advice is sound— for the short-term, Vee. We can worry about Sanctuary once we’re out of immediate danger.”

With a decisive nod, he shifted back to his feet, and everyone dispersed as though on cue, hurrying to grab the supplies and belongings scattered about the clearing.

Having left all his belongings at home pre-abduction, Janus leaned back against a tree, grimacing as the bark pressed into his wrists. He really would have to convince them to retie his hands in front of him, he was going to be entirely useless like this.

Patton would be the easiest to convince, though he doubted that Logan would assign anyone but himself to watch Janus for the first few days—

“Vee! You’ve got the human. Keep an eye on him.”

Or maybe the siren trusted the others more than Janus had originally thought.

...Or cared less about Janus's survival than he'd originally assumed.

Vee returned Janus’s mocking smile from earlier, a silent promise that the changeling was going to enjoy making life harder for him.

So much for an easy journey.

[magebastard]

wip wursday

thank u @coldshrugs for tagging me im NERVOUS abt this 1

im soft writing an if that may stay unreleased forever bc i don’t know if i will have the willpower to consistently post updates but im done w a prologue and half of chapter 1 and it’s been a treat to write about the most romantic place on earth (a tiny beach town in new jersey) here is a scene that I had to email to myself months ago bc I couldn’t figure out how to configure it into actual code properly but this is the first major flirt scene with the ro im in love w the most currently can you tell I started writing this after re-watching the bear

tagging @mrs-theirin @lalizah @darkspawntaxcollectors @grapecaseschoices everyone truly please I need to read my pals beautiful writing

Huh. You think you'd be wise enough to know when hunger is the culprit behind your bad moods at this point in your adulthood. That cloying, constricting feeling in your gut roils in response to Jordan's good-natured accusation and your lips flatten into a smile of surrender. He snorts. You hop up to sit on the counter across from his work station.

Sticking around after close isn't too outrageous of an ask when he's the one offering to make you dinner.

Damn, but it smells good in here. You imagine it'll get old—the smell of diner food permeating the modest industrial kitchen. But now it's only making you too aware that your last meal was a stale cereal bar nearly nine hours ago. Minutes pass. Jordan bobs his head to the music playing from his phone, speakers echoing where it's propped up inside of a clear, Tupperware tub. You don't want to upset the calm of a man's kitchen closing ritual but it feels like you should say something.

"I'm sorry I snapped. I didn't mean to take my bad day out on you," you finally settle on.

His dark eyes flit to yours for barely a moment. It's not too much but it's a strange intimacy. The last two employees on a closing shift, practically basking in the quietened building. It'd be peaceful, if it weren't so bizarre.

You turn your attention to his hands. Quick and certain, he methodically prepares your omelette with an artful precision. Almost more bizarre than sharing this calm moment with your coworker, is the care he measures into each ingredient, delicately incorporated. The effort is so thoughtful, you try to swallow past the sudden tightness in your throat.

"It's all good. I've been here long enough to recognize that ‘I didn’t take a lunch break’ look on anyone," he finally responds. There's a feint, fond smile on his face and it's impossible to deny the warmth of his handsome features. You smile along.

"You know everyone here pretty well?" It's not a question you really need answered. It's obvious. The guy practically has his head on a swivel for the revolving door of coworkers coming in to update him on their personal lives, which he responds to in kind with questions or anecdotes of his own. If there's one thing you've gleaned from your first week back at the diner it's that Jordan is adored as both a friend and a pillar of the business. He's got a singular kind of reliability.

You don't realize you're still smiling until you catch him staring, his hands stalled over pan and fork.

[cgogs]

@georgenootfound 's @dreblrtine-gift-exchange !

Mods did a very good job matching up gifts and gifters everyone give them a round of applause! I did my very best with this and the prompt I really really hope you like it, Ro! Happy Valentines!

Virgo | 2.2k | dsmp s2 c!dnf

Two boys lay in the grass of a great and beautiful valley. The blades of green spread to cradle their frames, the night sky above painting the world below in midnight blue. The crickets are distant, as are the rest of their friends, leaving the two alone in steady silence.

They haven’t spoken for an extended period, one more focused on taking in the stars– the other, trapped in his own head. 

Dream is tall, strong, with a head of gold and a heart that’s not so different. George is not much like him, except in all the uncanny ways that he is, despite not knowing each other for long. Which is unsettling, because George has this gut feeling that isn’t true. It feels like they’ve known each other forever. (They’ve known each other for a few months and some days.)

He’d like to be closer to his new friend. (It feels like reclaiming distance.) He’s also scared to death of it for a reason he can’t define or pinpoint. (It feels like setting himself up to lose him again.)

And that’s nothing to say of their weird, blossoming romance. He doesn’t like to think about it because it makes his face hot, but Dream is… very kind to him. There’s been a few stolen glances, a peck that one time, a hug or three that lasted too long… but they haven’t talked about it. Dream doesn’t seem the type. Maybe George should take a page out of his book and just stop thinking so much… they have a good thing. Why complicate it…

(The nagging just won’t go away.)

“Found it,” Dream whispers to himself, pulling George from his thoughts. His hand shoots up to point at the sky, the moon’s reflection gleaming on his two prosthetic claws. Another mystery Dream has never talked about. George pulls his eyes from the metal index finger to what Dream’s actually trying to get him to look at. “Virgo.”

“Virgo?” George tilts his head. He doesn’t really see anything. “Were you looking for it?”

“I was looking for the zodiac belt.” He talks with his hands a bit, something George finds infinitely endearing. “I was looking at a star chart earlier, there’s so many constellations. It’s nuts. I wanted to see if I could find it by myself.”

“Mmh… well, I don’t know what I’m looking at. Like at all. So.”

Dream laughs before grabbing George’s hand and guiding his finger along the sky. (The breath gets caught in his chest as soon as their skin touches. It feels right. Their hands have known each other. Right? Right?)

“Virgo has a huge star in it which makes things a little easier. So, you find the big dipper…” Okay, that one’s easy. George can actually see that one. Dream pulls his hand down, down, down, “And then you go southeast, and find that really bright one. It’s called, um, something. I forgot.”

“Wow. Some stargazer you are. You don’t even know what the big one is called.”

“Do you want me to show you or not?” 

“No, no, show me.” George says a little quicker than he meant. It felt like Dream was about to let go. “Please.”

“Okay, okay. That’s what I thought.” Dream laughs again. He takes everything so lightly. George wishes he wasn’t so trapped in his own head lately. His finger is guided, “There’s a bright star, but then the second bright star is the one in Virgo.”

George still doesn’t see it.

“Okay. Um. What’s the shape?”

“It’s supposed to be like, a girl? Here, I know it’s hard to get it. I don’t really get it either but it’s like this,” Dream traces their fingers in a vague shape, tracing each star. George kind of wants to keep acting stupid so he’ll keep holding his hand, but he doesn’t want to embarrass himself. 

“Oh. That’s dumb, it doesn’t even look like a girl.”

“I know, right? But people back then were really bored. So.” He shrugs, “But yeah. From there you can find all the other zodiacs, ‘cuz they’re in a line. See, there’s Scorpio.”

George nods, “Oh, I’m a Scorpio.”

“Mm! I’m a Leo.” Dream shrugs, “I don’t really know what it means in depth.”

“Do you believe in that stuff? Zodiacs and… past lives.”

Dream sets their hands down. George moves his pinky to lay flush against the side of his palm, just to keep the contact. It felt reassuring. Safe.

There’s a pause while he thinks. 

“Yeah. I do.” A breeze blows past. George sighs with it. “I mean, nobody was born at the exact same time and place as you. So, there’s probably something in that. Could not be, though. But I dunno. Coincidences are fun to believe in.”

“Right. And past lives?”

“Definitely.” Dream grabs a small flower, holding it over the both of them before snapping the stem. “When things die, the Earth takes them back and feeds them into the next thing. Rot, and all. If that’s how the world works with bodies, then why wouldn’t it with souls?”

George makes a thoughtful noise, “I guess that makes sense. Even with rain, it just falls back in the ocean to be made into rain again. That’s how that works, right?”

“Yeah, yeah. Exactly.”

“Okay, but, souls are like a whole different thing, though. It’s not tangible. How can you be sure?”

“Then it would have different intangible rules. If I died right now, then my body would feed the grass and a bunch of flowers would grow. Or something. And my soul would… do something else. I don’t know what. But it would make sense if it was saved to put in the next body. Like, a baby or something. Because it’s life energy.”

“I don’t know. I guess.”

“Why do you sound so sad?”

He didn’t mean to sound so sad. “I guess I just wanted you to give me a better answer.”

Dream rolls and props himself up on his forearms, leaning over George’s face with a confused expression. “Why do you care so much?”

He’s so handsome. It makes George’s brain lag. “Well I… want to believe.”

“Then it sounds like you already do. I don’t have all the good answers, I’d have to become, like, a scholar or something, to give you all the good answers. Sometimes you just have to take things on faith.”

(I’m tired of taking your word for it. I’m tired of leaps of faith.)

George lays a hand over his in the grass. “I just wish there was something real to back it up.”

Dream’s head tilts. But it’s not in the same curious way he’d been carrying himself in the conversation. It’s more subdued, more personal. He asks a question that he seems to have asked himself before. His eyes stare down in thought, “... Do you feel like you used to be someone?”

A long silence. They’re scared of breaking something by accident. Some flimsy rule or pane of glass supporting their reality. But Dream’s already asked the question, and the world hasn’t imploded.

So eventually, George nods. 

“Who do you think you were?” 

He sighs, the air swaying Dream’s hair a bit. His face twitches as George’s breath hits him, which George finds cute enough that it takes some of the edge off.

“I… I don’t know. I must have been a dreamer. Always wanting something I could never quite grasp. I feel like I lost a lot.”

“I feel the same.”

“Really?”

He nods. 

“Weird.”

Dream continues, “It doesn’t feel normal. Like, I don’t know. It feels like it’s so close I could reach out and touch it. Like, a mirror of myself. Does that make sense?”

(George blinks and for a moment, sees a man just like Dream, bleeding and angry and hurting.) 

“Yeah. Like, you could look over your shoulder and see him again.”

Dream nods.

It’s quiet again. But this time it’s peaceful, if a bit surreal. It feels weird, taboo to say it all out loud. But Dream doesn’t think he’s crazy. And that is enough to calm him.

George finds the courage to ask another question. “And… what about soulmates? Do you believe in that?”

Dream nods. George thought he’d have another spiel ready to explain himself, but he doesn’t speak again. He’s just staring down at him, soaking him in. George sets a brave hand to rest on Dream’s cheek.

He smiles. “We should probably do it differently this time if we were so damn sad the last.”

George scoffs a laugh, even though the sentence stabs him a bit. “How would we even know what to do differently?”

“No idea. Guess we’ll just take a leap of faith.”

“I kind of hate how many leaps you take. Leaves me behind.”

“Okay. See? That was really poetic. Write a book, George.”

“I’m serious.”

“Well then don’t be, get out of your head. I’m not going to leave you behind,” Dream is about to roll back down on his back, and the idea of him leaving makes George’s heart leap into his throat, his other hand shoots up to hold Dream’s head in place without even thinking. 

The motion was desperate and sad. Dream’s expression crumbles. “What… What’s wrong?”

George’s mouth opens and nothing comes out. His expression is pained and confused. He doesn’t know what’s wrong. He doesn’t know.

“George?”

Quietly. “I know we were just joking around about… all this. But,”

“I wasn’t joking.” Dream is quick to say, “I believe everything I said.”

George lets out through his mouth some of the tightness in his lungs. “Okay.”

“I was only joking about the last part, I, I just didn’t know.”

“Didn’t know?”

A roll of his shoulders. “What to say. I was deflecting.”

That’s fair. Dream can’t read his mind, that’s fair. 

��Sorry. I guess I’ve just been… thinking about that feeling a lot. What we were talking about, I mean.”

Dream moves a hand to hold his wrist lightly. George thinks his aim is to take his hand away before he realizes it’s a romantic gesture. Comfort. He nearly bursts into tears. He didn’t think he was so sensitive to these kinds of touches– maybe it’s just because it’s Dream. 

 “I know we’ve only known each other for a little while, but I’m really– scared of losing you. And I–”

(That’s what you said last time.)

Dream shakes his head. “I’m right here. I… I understand what you mean. But I’m not going anywhere, and I don’t want to either.”

“But what if you find a reason?”

“Then… we’ll have that hunch. A gut feeling. And I’ll stay.”

“But how do I know that for sure?”

Dream is quiet. George feels bad for springing this on him, but if not now then when? When they’d already broken the seal. He’s not running for the hills or calling him a crazy clingy bitch, so all things considered… it’s okay. 

His heart nearly stops for good when Dream plants a kiss to his cheek. On the bone of his eye socket, and George feels the pressure of his lips in his core.

“Sometimes you just have to take things on faith.” He murmurs, pulling away, “I wish I had a better answer for you. But if we both know… then maybe, um. A second chance can work out. I think it can, anyway…”

It’s earnest and shy and vulnerable. George can’t find it in him to keep arguing, even though he wanted to hear something better. He’s not sure anything Dream said would have made all the anxiety and dread melt away. But the kiss was nice, and he’s right here, so close he could reach out and touch him. And he is. 

“Okay.” He brushes his thumb over his cheekbone. Once more, “Okay.” 

Distantly, the dinner bell rings. Dream’s head shoots up to see where the sudden noise is coming from, panicked before registering what it is. He’s always so skittish.

“Do you want to go eat?”

“I kind of wanted you to keep showing me stars.”

“We can do both. Just take it back to eat here. And I can actually pick up the star chart while we’re over there.”

George smiles, hugging him tightly around his neck. Unspoken agreement. Dream wraps his arm around him to support him as he stands, George being dragged upright with him.

Dream lingers to keep hugging him. He smells like grass. There’s petals stuck into his hair, a few blades of grass. Dirt on his ass. George takes a moment to pluck them out, except the flowers. They’re pretty.

“There’s a bunch of dirt on your butt.”

“What, you're too scared to get it off for me?”

George dusts him off with an exaggerated sigh of annoyance. “I just thought I’d ask before you thought I was fondling you.”

Someone calls for them distantly. 

“Ew. I hate that word.” Dream untangles himself, taking his first few steps away from him and toward the house.

George pauses before following, the sight of Dream’s back striking familiar in a way that makes his heart ache. He doesn’t know exactly what it means. He’s scared of following. What if, what if, what if.

A ghost of his former self lays his hands on his back and pushes. He’s set stumbling forward. 

A stumble, a stumble, then a firm foot, and another, and another. 

And another.

[the-night-that-feeds-if]

Honestly one of the best demos I have ever read. Maddock is aloooooot omg. I loved it. And thank you so much for the RO povs i swear those are the best parts of any story.

So much intensity in your writing had me feeling all the feels. You are so talented and this is one of the IFs I'm incredibly excited for ♥️ The hunger intrigues me because my toxic ass just apparently loves punishing myself with the extremes in these stories soooo saw this asked in a different page but i loved the question especially seeing as there are so many different dynamics do you mind telling me what the different ROs reaction would be to someone openly trying to flirt/pick up our MC while they were around. 😇

Oh anon, you flatter me! It makes me so happy to hear that you enjoy my story! ❤️❤️❤️

And I love writing the RO POVs, I love being able to give you all a glimpse into their minds, it's so refreshing to write from multiple perspectives.

And this is a super fun ask :D

Maddock: He'll see someone come up to you and he's immediately on guard, he won't come up right away, this could just be someone asking a question after all. But the small warning bell in his head doesn't go away, the person's body language is too practiced... too smooth.

He notices their sly smiles as they try to lead you off somewhere, the way they lay hands on your arm. He grits his teeth, tightens his fists, and he notices your uncomfortable expression, the way you're darting your eyes around--looking for escape.

He walks up to you both, and he drops an arm around your shoulders and pulls you close to him. He rests his chin on your head and stares at the person trying to pull a move on you, with a sharp smile plastered on his face. His size and expression are very intimidating to the average person so he's definitely succeeding in scaring them away.

That's what they get for trying to take his person after all.

The Hunger: It doesn't like the way that Firde is standing too close to you. Talking to you, smiling at you. They're too close to you.

A burning feeling rests in its gut, a white hot feeling.

Its claws shoot out from its form, digging holes into its brand new leather gloves... again. It reigns itself in immediately. It takes a few calming breaths, then it stalks toward you both.

"Little bird, is this a new friend of ours?" It looks the stranger up and down, its gaze hidden deep in its hood.

The stranger gives it a lopsided smile. "I was just getting to know this gorgeous creature, hopefully you don't mind if I steal them away?"

It clenches its jaw together tight. You shake your head and roll your eyes at the Firde. "Yeah... I don't think so, I'm staying here with my companions."

The stranger makes a face that it can't discern. Well, it will be a face that it memorizes. Along with their scent.

Tonight will end in a wonderful way, it got to be with you, and when you sleep, it shall feed.

Captain Ward: They don't even bat an eye before immediately coming to your side and wrapping an arm around your waist, pulling you into their chest. They give a lazy grin to the person trying to flirt with you.

"Whatcha doin'?" They purr into your ear.

You trace circles on their hand and shrug. "This person said they had something they wanted to show me."

They lean their head into the crook of your neck. "How about you come with me instead, I'll show you how the stars can sing if you get close enough to hear. It'll be a lot more fun." They whisper, a seductive lilt lacing their words.

You grin and nod eagerly, the stranger backs away, a dejected slump in their shoulders. Good, they know that nobody else could possibly hold your attention like they can.

Xep: They'll be chewing on their bottom lip, anxiety filled watching you from afar.

Please don't go, please don't go... their hands clench tight around their mug of wine. Some vinegar tasting piss from this hovel, and now they have to suffer this.

They can't take a betrayal a second time. Please be a better person than Kellia, please reject them, please come back home with me. Please don't hurt me.

A sharp sound pulls them from their thoughts, eyes immediately locking onto you. You had slapped them, now you're swearing up a storm. Xep watches as you make your way toward them.

"That fucking asshole, they didn't want to talk, they just wanted to get me in their bed." You shake your head angrily.

"You said no?"

You look at them a bit bewildered. "Of course I said no, we're together. And even if we weren't I wouldn't have, nobody likes a fuck-head who can't take a no."

You wrap your arms around Xep. "Can we head out now? I'm sick of this place."

Their heart sings with joy at your actions.

Maybe this time it's real love.

Fellis: She doesn't notice anything amiss, you're just having a chat, perhaps a new friend will be made tonight?

Oh, she should go over and introduce herself. More friends are always better, she wonders what they'll be like. Do they like knitting maybe? Oh, all three of us could knit together.

She skips toward you and the stranger, a giant smile on her face, her entire being radiating happiness.

You turn towards her, a relieved smile on your face.

"Well as you can see, I'm here with my girlfriend."

Her heart starts beating wildly at those words as her eyes widen. She's heard them before, but she just can't get over being yours.

"So obviously I wouldn't be interested in spending time with you, like I had said... multiple times." You turn away from the stranger and take her by the hand dragging her away.

"What's going on, honey? Was that not a new friend?'

You frown. "Unfortunately, they're not worthy enough to be your friend, or mine. How about we go home and make some tea and cakes, my heart?"

Fellis starts flapping her hands in excitement. "We are SO knitting tonight! Do you fancy a new scarf?"

You chuckle. "Sure, Fel. That sounds nice."

This is going to be a great night!

[ronearoundblindly]

Hi, Ro😌❤️I love the new hospital drabble😌❤️

And I also had a good laugh reading that Ari had a hard time trying to explain why he called her his wife in the hospital🤣🤣

Though... it couldn't be the only time that Ari sneaked behind her back and called her wife, no?👀👀👀 like he can be all possessive and claiming when he needs to be😩🤭

Warnings for some spice. I mean, whoops again, gang 🥵😩 I have no one to blame but myself. OH NO. THIS SUCKER IS GETTING THE MATURE LABEL. WC 1.2k

3 x Ari Faked It + the 1st x It Was Real, a terribly titled Bedrock and Blueprints drabble

1.

The hospital was a pretty special circumstance because the nurses weren't going to let him see you if he didn't lie, however, Ari becomes a bit notorious for not correcting anyone who calls you 'Mrs. Levinson.'

Your friends at the bar ask him how 'the misses' is doing when you're not around, and that very small thing usually brings a smile to his face. For a while, Ari thinks to himself that it's just the equivalent of saying 'your girl,' and he just moves on with the conversation.

2.

A reservation for a nice dinner he takes you to on your birthday is under his name, and the woman leads you to the table with a simple "right this way, Mister and Misses Levinson."

Since it's just the hostess walking you from point A to point B thirty feet away, Ari hardly thinks it's worth the time to explain that you two aren't married...and you don't mention that either.

That gets him thinking. Would you take his name?

The idea rattles around in his brain, popping up randomly in between bits of chatting, but he never says anything out loud.

Of course, Ari's in love with you and you're in love with Ari. He loves you and you love him, and he knows that. But you don't...discuss future things with him much because you're trying not to scare the chronic nomad off. It took enough nudging (and then straight-up fighting) to get him to move into a house he was already building for you for fuck's sake.

And yes, Ari is still the type of man who would panic and run to the bar with José and Dimitri if you started talking about wedding things like guest lists and themes and flowers. He's not there, and he doesn't enjoy that even if it's you. He simply isn't that man.

The idea though...

That idea of saying you are his wife is different. That's not a possession in the physical sense. He's never wanted much in the way of 'stuff,' and he didn't put much effort into keeping his family around once he joined the military. Marrying you would not be a big deal to him in terms of ownership.

Nope. What strikes Ari deep in his gut is that you'd claim him as your family, you might want him bound to you in that way, and you might be his permanent home.

Something about that makes Ari feral, and on the way home from your dinner, the instant he pulls his keys out of the ignition, Ari slides across the leather seat and pins you to the door with a hot and heavy kiss.

When you finally convince him it'll be more comfortable to exit the vehicle, he doesn't let you get far, hoisting you up against the side of the truck until your arms stretch over the lip of the flatbed. That shiny little skirt you wear gets pushed up to your waist, and Ari fucks you right there in the dark driveway.

Happy birthday to you indeed.

3.

Um, so then there's the time Ari will never, ever speak of to anyone other than you ever.

Maybe a month or two after you find out you're pregnant, Ari's boss's boss has a big party at a large corporate space the company just completed. The Big Boss's wife thinks you and Ari are married, and again, because it's an unnecessary conversation to have with someone you may never see after that night, you two nod and smile and move on.

There's so much drinking at the party which, of course, you can't partake in. It's not that you aren't having fun and meeting interesting people, but...

Let's put it this way: you are extremely horny during those months after the morning all-day sickness subsides, and Ari is not drinking in solidarity with you. What the hell else are you gonna do but find a random small room to pull your panties down just far enough for him to sink into you from behind? Is he supposed to stop himself from using one hand to support your faint baby bump? Is he gonna not use the other to furiously work your clit? Is he supposed to deny you two orgasms while he gets to watch you pinch at your bigger breasts from over your shoulder?

He's not a monster, so, yeah, he does all those things. He hasn't gotten the chance to figure out how to propose for real, but it works as a really intense turn-on for you, apparently, to hear him praise you as 'Mrs. Levinson' even just once when he whispers for you to be quiet. He does not actually care if you stay quiet, for the record. He kinda just wants the excuse to say it. If he's not mistaken, that made you come pretty fucking hard. Noted.

All in all, he is very courteous of the space, makes sure none of his cum drips out of you before replacing your panties, wipes himself with his handkerchief then pockets it so there's no trash (or evidence), and other than your hands braced on the wall at some point, nothing was touched. Also, Ari thought it was maybe the hottest sex of his life.

He is not, however, going to tell anyone that.

+1.

Out of necessity, you two don't spend much money on your wedding. It's a small (we are talking intimately small) Jewish ceremony followed by a huge backyard party with friends. It seemed more important to purchase Ari his coveted grill instead of investing too much in the pomp of a wedding. (Additionally, you couldn't really spend on even a small wedding until after getting a car fit to transport a baby, so Ari sold his beloved truck--to José, thank goodness--and you bought a bigger vehicle with a backseat. You are reluctantly driving now, but it's mainly in case of emergencies. The ultimate plan is for Ari to buy the truck back from José since his friend is also saving for a nicer car himself. It's all very tidy.)

The grill though! Ari's ecstatic. Now he can cook all sorts of stuff for you and little Rachel, your daughter, named after Ari's mother. Rachel, of course, can't eat anything from the grill yet, but that just gives Ari time to master his skills.

If the ceremony had been bigger, you two would have had the yichud--a bit of time together alone before leaving with your guests--but Rachel wakes up from a completely dead sleep in José's arms to demand attention...and you've got to get home to start cooking.

So it turns out that Ari doesn't have any chance to really converse much with you until Rachel is busy being passed around the guests outside and the food is all served. Dimitri is entertaining everyone by leading in lawn games. Ari takes his moment to steal you away to the bedroom.

He's not emotional he's extremely emotional, but he makes sure the first time he ever calls you Mrs. Levinson for real is while tenderly making love on your wedding day.

Well, the first time on your wedding day because there are a few more times after your guests leave and Rachel is put to bed. Just saying.

Ya know, I have never written any 3+1 or 5+1 fics... Huh. Didn't realize that until now.

Still have zero chill and posted anyway. So sue me, I like reading people's reactions as soon as possible...

Hope you enjoyed this bit of spice, and thank you for reading!

[fervency-if]

You can ignore this if you want, I'm in silly mood after remembering how my husband brought home our family cat lol! MC has lives together with the ROs for quite some time, MC came home a bit later than usual and when the ROs see them MC looks at them with their best puppy dog eyes holding a kitten with the same intense puppy or (should I say kitten?) eyes, MC then asked the ROs "Can we keep it, please? 🥺". How would the ROs react?

Aw! Silliness is fun, and I would definitely not ignore such an adorable ask about cats, especially as a cat owner myself, haha! I bet the story about your husband and your cat is such a sweet and fun one!

The Physician would say that the cat would have to be more of the main character's responsibility, but who is she to say no? She really likes animals, and that goes for cats, too. She would be very sad if she caught it catching birds, though. Please, let's keep it indoors, so it won't hurt the wildlife...

Oh, when it comes to Aubrey, puppy eyes (or kitten eyes, as it were,) would not be necessary. He probably wouldn't even notice that they made that face; he would be far too busy looking at the cat, petting it, and saying how adorable it is. Ah, they said something? They asked if they could keep it. Of course! He would have gotten sad otherwise!

Vesa would smile widely, both because of the cat, and because of the main character's demeanour. They're simply the sweetest! She would love to have a pet, especially a cat or a dog (or both,) so she would highly approve of this.

Narcio would find this very amusing and charming. So they truly love felines indeed. He would smile for a little bit, then frown; 'I couldn't take that much responsibility...' Then he would shake his head. No, he can't say no - he wouldn't mind it, it would be more of a gut reaction. 'Yes. If you so wish. I take it that I will need to put all my porcelain decorations away until this little creature is older? And...' Sigh. '...could you perhaps be responsible for cleaning up after it, overall? And feed it, and... Yes, yes. I will try, too, but let me get used to it first.'

Roswhen would grin. Cute animal. Cute main character. Keep it? Yes, absolutely, they can't see why not. They have a slight preference for dogs, but that preference is only slight. Cats are sweet, too. They would grow extremely overprotective towards the little animal.

Elan would smile sweetly, both at the cat and at the main character alike, and approach gently to let the cat sniff him, and perhaps, if it seemed to trust him, he would try to pet it. He's very good and patient like that. Yes, he wants to keep the kitten. Definitely. Like Roswhen, he has a preference for dogs, but just like them, he loves both. Also, a cat would be easier to take care of when he's unwell, so perhaps it would be more suiting in a sense. He would worry a little, that the cat perhaps wouldn't like him... But that would just be some kitten blues right at the start.

[withasideofshakespeare]

ok, so, I just found your blog but I love this shakespeare content and I now absolutely need to know; if you could direct a play, what play would you choose to direct and how would you direct it/what are your ideas for it?

hope u have a great day!

This is a relevant question because I am currently helping to direct an audiobook version of Hamlet! Hamlet is my go-to play at all times for everything, so I’m over the moon that I get to help with this!

My choices on how I’ve been involved in this process are honestly more related to my experience with theater than my opinions on Hamlet. I'm not an actor and I've only been involved with one show (as a soundboard operator for Anastasia), but this limited experience has been pretty love-hate for me. Our schedule (as a live production) is quite rigid and things get stressful because of it! My main goal with Hamlet has been avoiding stress for myself as an actor and a co-producer. We've had a fairly flexible schedule and really let actors do their own thing with the characters, which has made the whole project really fun and way less stressful! If I could somehow remove the human element from directing a play and just... create the characters exactly as I imagine them, I think my focus would fall heavily on Hamlet as a story of grief. Grief is a big theme in this play, but it tends to get overshadowed in big-screen productions that seem to like to focus on revenge, masculinity, and violence more than the psychological horror of grief, insanity, and unreality that gives Hamlet its power, imo. If I were to direct this play...

-Hamlet would be more sad than angry.

-Claudius's dismissal of Hamlet's grief and his manipulation of Laertes would be a major focal point

-Ophelia would get some damn autonomy! I would not portray her breakup with Hamlet as an invention of her father- she has every right to be angry with him, regardless of the plot to determine the cause of Hamlet's grief.

-On the topic of Hamlet and Ophelia, let their relationship be toxic in both directions! Hamlet is obviously a dick to Ophelia, but she breaks up while he is in the midst of a mental health crisis. They're awful to each other, in large part because of the manipulation of their parents.

-Hamlet, Horatio, Ophelia, Ros, Guil and Laertes would be college-aged. (Hamlet, Horatio, & Ophelia and Ros & Guil: ~19/20, college sophomores; Laertes ~21/22, college junior or senior.) Their age is important to this play and I will die on this hill. It frames their immaturity in an understandable way rather than a "why are these grown adults so goddamn stupid" way and really adds to the tragedy of Claudius's manipulation of these young adults who are still coming into their own. (Also because I will be attending college this year, and this experience is one I understand)

-I would NOT downplay Hamlet and Horatio's relationship. They're queer. It makes the story what it is.

-Hamlet would get to cry. A lot. Framing this against Claudius's concept of (toxic) masculinity is something I want to see in this story.

-For a more creative/further from canon approach, I'd love a story where Horatio is clearly framed as the narrator. Maybe we open the play as a story he is telling to Fortinbras/at Hamlet's funeral. As the plot develops, Horatio becomes invested as if it's all real again and we get his desperate attempts to protect Hamlet (to stop him from following the ghost, begging him to trust his gut during the duel, etc.) as an impossible attempt to free Hamlet from the narrative he himself created. The play ends as it started, with Horatio telling Fortinbras the story of Hamlet's life and death.

Thank you for this ask! Apparently, I had a lot to say! I'm glad you're enjoying my Shakespeare content. There will absolutely be more of it!!!

[ssolventss]

I never really feel like i make proper connections, everything always feels so disconnected, like if i never talked to my friends again id be fine with that. It all just feels so different.

I think thats why i tend to cling onto situations where I actually feel something, wether it be happiness or sadness no matter what I cling. Am I really human if i dont feel something ? The sense of feeling makes me feel more. Normal.

I always think im a bad person because I honestly cant properly attach to people without it being dissattachment or full attachment.

like i reach out ro people but it just feels like an obligation or just a next chase to a dopamine rush

Most of the people I know misinterpret me so much that at this point i dont even want to show people myself.

But growing up is hard when youre conditioned to put others before yourself, so I think so selfishly, So egotistical but I cant back it up without feeling such an immense amount of guilt.

Even now I dont think people whove known me for years know me that well. Ive grown out of being a crybaby because they made fun of me for it, and i kept being scolddd for crying easily, and then still now they think im still the same. But i grow and change

I cant help but spill my guts out to strangers, and all i really feel is embarrased because i dont want them to think of me like that, but at the same time i know im conditioned ti think like that because at the same time i just feel so numb

[jadipose]

"Okay! My own shower, wow... You really know how to treat a girl, don't you?" If she wanted you to ask her to join, it's too late now. She's already on her way upstairs, her bubble butt jiggling with every excited, drunken leap, giving you a nice show. After a few minutes, you hear the shower upstairs come to life...

Go+d, lo+o+k at her go+.... and this is her with a full sto+mach, huh? The ho+t weight pressing do+wn o+n my pelvis wo+nders what she'd be like stuffed, and what her little belly might feel like all so+aped up... but I barely have the energy to+ get up and fo+llo+w her aro+und. wo+w, packed full and rampantly ho+rny, a winning co+mbinatio+n.

I let myself co+llapse back o+nto+ the mattress, gro+aning as my belly expands to+ fill the space. My fingers trace the underside o+f my gut, playing o+ver the ro+lled-do+wn bikini bo+tto+ms ro+und my hips. Fffhhh.... I do+n't want her to+ catch me with my hands in my pants, but she is so+ ho+t....

[evilrat-sabre]

Today is the last day of a Hermit a day may challenge.

I didn’t do any art for this day, but I just wanted to say somethings.

First thing: Thank you all so much! I never participated of a event like this, but it was so fun! I feel like my art has improved a lot and I feel connected with this fandom in a way I had not yet. To me this thing, that is this fandom is so important, it brings me a type of peace I have yet to find in my irl life. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, my work and my college are places that I truly feel safe and appreciated, and I am very grateful for what I have, but a space of fandom like this, is where I can truly disconnect myself of all my problems, the insanity in it let me remain sane.

Second thing: Because of this event my colleagues think I am a savage... let me explain: My drawing program of choose is Adobe Illustrator (yea I know its not the ideal, but I like it) and like, the first days of the event I didn't bore to create a new archive so I just started duplicating the clipboards. I pretended to when it started to get heavy I would just create a new archive and proceed drawing, but one of my colleagues was horrified seeing the archive that had only 8 clipboards at time, so I decide why not 30? So 30 I did... everyone is questioning my mental heath and how my pc is still alive. 

I am proud of my self and have no regrets.

Here is my monster child

Third think I want to say and them I will finish this: I wanted to thank Mod Luna for bringing this challenge to us. Before, I never had the guts to participate of something like this, IDK why this time was different but I am very grateful it was. I have to say, my daily dose of serotonim was seeing what ro was going to put in the reblog tags. Its aways fun geting jumpscared with ro saying my name in the tags instead of calling me op like every other rebloguer (for some reason I aways forget that people can call you by your name in the internet. Yes I know my nick name is my name, but I get a little spooked every time It happens, because my brain can be a little dumb like that.)

Well I think this is it, Thank everyone that was involved in this crazy month, have a good day and a wonderfull week, bye!

@hermitadaymay​

[generalluxun]

Record Scratch Chapter 9 -fanfiction

Heading home from the failure of the party, emotions are running high. Both Nino and Chloé try to articulate what seems impossible to fit into words. When words fail, what more can be done? Perhaps it is time to find out. Full text after the break.

The further away they got from the hotel the calmer Chloé seemed to get, but the antsier he got. Nino had been the one helping her to the sidewalk. He had tried to be the one to order a cab for them, but his grasp of Spanish failed him. Chloé had managed it through hiccups and starts while he stroked her back. In the car she had resisted for all of about two seconds when he nudged her over across his lap. She pulled out her ponytail, turning her mane into a golden blanket as she lay on her side.

Nino had the distinct impression she was hiding under it, so he gently parted the silken ringlets. “Hey, you okay under there?”

It was a long moment before the one blue orb on the visible side of her face turned up to him. “No."

The slanting strobe of the streetlights across her face cast Beebee into that harsh relief that suited her so. A flurry of black lines from some streetside obstruction put the Queen herself behind bars momentarily. Easy answers died on my lips, and I had only myself to blame. I'd asked, hadn't I?

I ran my hand back through her hair again, trailing my fingers through the untamed ringlets, marveling at the softness. She nestled in without protest. Past the needles, I'd finally found Beebee's tragic gift. Touchable, every part of her was perfectly touchable. She responded in ways to inflame the dimmest of passions. It would be so easy to fall into that touch and forget there was a person inside that skin. How long had it been that I hadn't even bothered looking that close?

"Bee, that guy was just some loser spouting nonsense."

She stole my hand and tucked it under her head, held between her own hands. Her whole body curled up just a little tighter in a way I felt in my chest.

"No. He was right. I don't know where he gets his gossip, but it's impeccable."

I started to argue. I wanted to argue, but how could I? Family dynamics I knew nothing about. The Bourgeois dysfunction was legendary, but few really knew what was really under the surface.  So much of it could be true, and I wouldn't do her any favors trying to lie. One thing I could argue though.

It was vital that she believed, and that truth made my voice catch in my throat. "I know where you belong.”

Her eyes stared holes in the back of the driver's seat. "Don't tell me something corny like 'In my arms."

Phantoms danced before my eyes, limbs entwined. "No, Beebee. Nothing corny for a classy dame like you. My answer's better, but harder, too. You sure you want to hear it?"

She glanced back up, wet her lips, and whispered, "Tell me, detective."

"Anywhere. Anywhere you want to belong, Bee. You always had guts enough for ten men. Don't get spooked just because your eyes are finally open."

The corner of her mouth turned up in the slightest of smiles. The genuine happiness behind it lit up her face like the dawn. She rolled that beautiful blue eye, and let out a single soft laugh. "Oh, you're good, Mr. Lahiffe."

Her voice held a sultry lilt straight from the big pictures. A mirror of my own, turned back on me, and shown off in a playful display. Electricity danced along my limbs at being engaged at this level. It was a first, even among my closest friends.

Some crazy part of me had to push my luck, had to test the limits. I never did know when to quit. "Good? Beebee, you have no idea.” I reached up, but my hat was still back in the coat check at the hotel, long abandoned. I still mimed running my hand along the brim that wasn’t there. “Still, sorry about ruining your birthday though.”

That small smile grew, both in size and danger. She turned her head to look up at me, then twisted her body, heaving to roll onto her back across my lap. As her chest arched up, one vision flashed. As her hips rolled down against the seat, I became desperately aware of the fact she was in my lap. Her long legs were bent to fit in the backseat of the car. The crushed velvet of her dress bunched and pulled, the top of one shimmery stocking was revealed. Her next shift brushed it against my hand -Accident? I wasn’t that naive. Nor was I immune. My fingers twitched closer to her thigh, seeking a second ‘accidental’ moment. 

The genuine smile curled back into her more usual teasing smirk, but the smile remained in her eyes. “I’ve had a monopoly on ruining them for years. It was about time someone else had a chance, wouldn’t you say? I’m glad you were my first time.”

Her lips drew the last word into a soft sound of pleasure. My mind tried to dig itself out from under a thousand debauches. I wasn’t going to make it out of this playing the gallant straight man. Time to call this little bee’s bluff. I settled my hand on her belly, shocked at how firm it was beneath that thin velvety wrapper. “Well, you helped show me how to be happy again, Beebee. It was only fair I returned the favor with at least one night of pleasure, right?”

Never try to out sin a devil. She took my hand in both of hers and drew it slowly up her body, spreading my fingers over her heart and more. She held it there and spoke in a fragile whisper, “You know the hardest part about giving up being angry, Mr. Lahiffe? It makes room for all kinds of other emotions.”

“Bee-” My voice cracked. My heart was a drum behind my ribs. Those blue eyes held no answers, only questions. I lost the battle… or maybe won.

Nino swallowed a lump that wouldn’t go down, and dipped his head. He flexed his fingers every so slightly against the firm flesh under his touch. “Emotions, like- what?”

Chloé reached up with one of her hands, cupping his cheek. “Let me show-”

The car braking suddenly nearly pitched her out of his lap. Only quick reflexes and Nino’s interposed arm kept her from plastering herself across the back of the driver’s seat. The stream of Spanish that flowed from Chloé’s mouth was largely unknown to him, but he knew enough words -because everyone learns those words first- that he got the idea. The driver’s response was every bit as florid.

They tumbled out of the car together, Chloé straightening her dress to no avail while still pouring invective at their driver without pause. She paid, and Nino saw, even left a tip. But the gesture she had for the driver as he sped off, was anything but gracious.

It was a flush-faced, exasperated, but also positively alive Chloé who turned to him, giving a helpless shrug. “We’d better get to the plane.”

The walk through the concourses and out to Chloé’s waiting jet were a study in disassociation. The mundanity of the act let the better part of Nino drift back into a reality where they were still in the car… or was it a bedroom… or did it even matter?

He took sidelong glances as they walked, trying to gauge her own reaction. She’d been playing the game, were those words just the musings of the role? They’d… collided… several times now. Emotions were high, for both of them though. Even if he enjoyed… whatever this was- friendship? -Hanging out? -Was this a date? There was still a list longer than his arm of all the ways this could be a bad idea. Nino squirmed internally; the voice reading off the reasons sounded like Alya. Alya. That sent him down a totally different rabbit hole of grief, uncertainty, and guilt.

He still glanced at Chloé as they walked in silence, but now each thought had two edges. 

Her hair is so soft… –What? Alya’s is better!

Even when she’s in stomping mode, she still has grace about her… –Alya’s spunky trot was the best!

He remembered her nails in his hair. They could claw or pet at a whim. –you’re being unfaithful!

No! He had too long to think. He wanted to stop, to stop comparing them, to stop pining, to stop feeling like he was bad just for wondering, for finding someone else attractive. He wanted this instinctive loyalty to stop. It was supposed to stop, right? That is what the breakup was all about, being free. Then why do I feel trapped for the first time in my life?

“Coming?”

Nino looked up, he hadn’t realized they’d arrived. He’d been walking with his hands in his pockets and his head in the sand. Chloé was already on the steps up to the plane, looking over her shoulder. Nino tried to find the word ‘yes’ but it was elusive. As he stood there lost she turned and reached back a hand to him.

Nino took it.

“Sorry.” he murmured. “I got to thinking.”

“Nothing good I imagine. I have that effect on people.”

Nino stepped up onto the narrow staircase, bringing them together. “No. I mean, no it’s not good, but it’s not you. Well, you’re involved. It’s just- I’m trying to figure out how to let my past be my past?”

As soon as he said it, he realized who he was saying it to. Perhaps that realization saved him, he wore it plainly.  A sharp flash in those royal blue eyes softened. A barb went unsent. Instead Chloé simply answered, “If you ever find out, please tell me the secret.”

She turned and climbed the rest of the way into the plane. Nino trailed after. Great, now I’ve dragged her down with me.

They took their seats, and an unease gripped Nino. It was like an itch in his head. Something felt… off. He tried to track it down. He glanced out the window. Nope, wing is still there. He checked his phone, scrawling through conversations with each of his friends and his calendar, looking for something he had missed.  He realized as he was scrolling through year-old texts, that he was rubbing the fingers on his other hand together.

Nino looked at his fingers, then following the sensation, looked across at his travel companion. She’s so far away.

The thought gave the feeling life. Touch is her tragic gift. Did it have to be, though? Nino’s fingers itched, and he knew the cure. He reached out slowly, his hand crossing the aisle between them. Once more he held his breath, there was the familiar spice of not knowing, but it was flavored with an even more potent feeling now: Hope.

Would she- The space was too wide between them for contact to be anything but awkward, unless she-

Chloé reached out with her hand, her eyes averted, diffusing the gesture. They met in the middle; his hand catching hold of hers, hers squeezing. Only once they’d made the contact did she look at him. Questions in those eyes, even without the film grain heightening everything.

Nino squeezed back. “Thanks.”

The reply this time was small, not a hint of smirk. “I was going to say that.”

“I think I liked the car better.” The past growled at how many different ways that statement could be read. Nino fought it.

Something flashed in Chloé’s eyes. She curled her wrist, pulling his hand a little closer to her. “Things are easier when you're playing a role. It can get you into trouble though, take it from me."

Nino tugged back. "No, that's not what I meant."

The plane started to roll and Nino glared towards the pilot's cabin. In the heat of the moment let fly with a string of Darija that would have gotten him scolded back home. When what he'd done caught up to him, Nino felt his cheeks heat up. When he looked back at Chloé though, his embarrassment evaporated.

Her lips were parted, and her eyes wide. In those blue depths was a reaction so clear- "I have no idea what you said, but you said it perfectly."

Tension to laughter, Nino started to reply but the jet's engines roared into high gear. He rolled his eyes. Chloé covered her mouth in another girlish giggle. He raised his voice even as he straightened up in the seat for takeoff. "We're not done. I'll explain after take off."

They held hands for the entire ascent. The roar and pressure of the plane squeezed extraneous thought aside. Nino kept himself here and now.

When the jet leveled off, Nino looked back to Chloé, he found her eyes already on him. The thrill that discovery caused helped bolster his nerves. He jerked his head towards his side of the jet. "C'mere, Bee."

Chloé unbuckled herself and stood. She made a production of smoothing down her beleaguered dress. Nino swore her hands lingered the same places his eyes did. She stepped across, settling herself ever so daintily onto the edge of his knee with her hands folded primly in her lap. Once there, she eyed him with all the innocence of a newborn succubus.

Nino hooked her waist and pulled her in against him. Her squeal of surprise retained that ticklish energy. With a girl who could look him in the eye, sharing a seat left them at a disparity completely new to him. The expanse of her neck and bare shoulders was right there…

 "This is what I meant about liking the car better."

Nino leaned in, nuzzling the side of her neck just once. She'd teased him plenty of times, turnabout was fair. Is this really teasing, though?

Her response was intoxicating. The rise into his touch, the twist and squirm against his chest. The sound that resonated in her throat, never quite escaping her body. A touch here, a caress there, an instrument only the Divine itself could craft. Nino longed to hear the music they could make. If only-

He raised his head, searching. Her eyes met his and he still could not be certain. He didn't want it to be just a game. Whatever it would be, he wanted her to mean more than that; to him, and even moreso, to herself.

"Bee-"

Her hands came up, fingers splayed against his chest for support. She shimmied closer, to the tune of threads pulling and fabric ripping.

"Sonava-" Chloé growled, twisting to look down at her back.

Nino let out a frustrated growl too, another first for him.

Chloé looked back at him, and her moue of annoyance transformed into a smirk. "This dress was a bad choice for the night anyway. I did bring one other outfit, suitable for the occasion, with me. It's so much more comfortable anyway. Why don't I go and change?"

Nino gave her a chagrined smile. “It might be for the best. I feel like we’re being played by a higher power tonight, or warned.”

Chloe slid out of his lap and he instantly missed her warmth. She gave him an incongruously pixie-like blink-and-grin, then walked towards the back while putting her hair back up. “Be right back. Miss me.”

He turned his head as she started off. “Count on it.”

With that he was left with his thoughts, frustrations, and uncomfortably tight pants. Nino shifted in his seat and took several deep breaths, trying to bring everything back down to earth; it was not a winning battle.

Maybe tomorrow, or, the next day. I can try something with candles, a dinner, something romantic.  Would she even set foot in my place? I could say it was a surprise. She wouldn’t laugh… I don’t think. If it’s my place I’ve got to make sure no one’s around. When does Chris have his next game? I have the keycard, maybe I could set up a surprise at her place. That… wouldn’t be creepy right? Or maybe I could come visit her as Carapace. I could arrive on her balcony, Cat Noir visits Marinette that way, so it’s legit right? Though I doubt he’s doing it for the same reason. Maybe I shouldn’t though, she might still be sore about the hero-thing. She did bring it up when we first met th-

Nino’s inner ramble was interrupted by Chloé’s hands brushing against his head from behind. Her nails sent sparks as they dragged against his scalp. Her hands stopped, taking hold of his glasses. Her voice was a whisper that threw gasoline on those sparks, “How much can you see, without these on?”

Nino swallowed, but forced himself not to turn his head. “Not much, near or far.”

“Hmmm, they’d better stay on then. I don’t want you to miss a thing.”

Nino laughed nervously. He could feel the need to fall back into film rising, but he fought it. Whatever happened, it was going to be Nino Lahiffe, Lycée student, part time DJ, and occasional superhero, that it happened to. “So, can I peek at the new look now?”

Her hands slipped down to his shoulders, a brief massage. “Not yet, I’ll tell you when.”

She let go and this time took all his troubled thinking with her. There was no end to what she might come up with. Everything from devilry to snuggly paraded through his mind. The urge to turn, to see what she was up to was high. Was she back in the rear compartment right now, or waiting to spring some new trap on him?

A blue shape flew past his peripheral, but expanded as it went, slowing and drifting to the ground in a small heap; Chloé’s dress.

From behind him, “Damnit, that was supposed to keep going and look cool!”

Nino was gripping the armrests in a stranglehold, a roulette wheel of possibilities was spinning. “Can I look yet?”

“Not yet!” Her voice was harried. The cabin lights dimmed.

The wheel was slowing in his head *tk tk tk*

“You can look now.” This time, her voice was soft, ethereal.

Nino held his breath, and turned. It availed him nothing, his breath was stolen the second he laid eyes on her.

A living statue stood before him, a shadowy profile in the dim lighting. Black and gold of the richest variety. Hips turned to the side, one leg straight, the other bent, Chloé’s  back was arched far enough to allow her arms to extend fully over her head even in the confines of the jet. Her signature ponytail hung down, very nearly completing the full arc back to the ground. She wore- nothing.

His eyes drank her in, doubts be damned; every line, every slender curve, the dance-sculpted muscle that normally lay hidden beneath silk and fashion, that hidden power he had seen and even felt once before in motion, but never fully comprehended. Nino had to shake the daze from his head to focus, and realize: she was watching him as he stared. Succubus? No. She was a nymph. There was only one question in those eyes.

Nino rose and stepped towards her. She twisted in her pose, grace vanishing into uncertainty masked by desperate poise. The fact that her motion revealed the very last of her secrets was lost on Nino. He couldn’t look away from those eyes. He wouldn’t. She meant more than that.

Chloé’s nerves joked, “You like it? It’s the suit for the occasion. I’ve had it for years, though it needs some adjusting every year.” Her forced laugh gave lie to the tease. It died quickly.

Nino walked the few steps without speaking. He didn’t trust himself not to say the wrong thing, not to screw up. Screw up what?... Whatever this is. Whatever she is. I want–

He ran out of room between them.

She clasped her hands together now, shuffling. Two words, “Say something.” The first a demand, the second a plea.

Nino cupped Chloé’s cheek. Two words, “You’re beautiful.” The first an apology, the second a confession.

He kissed the reply from her lips. Gently at first, but a hunger denied and buried demanded its due. He held her face in his hands. She gripped the front of his shirt. He renewed the kiss, the world outside this moment forgotten. The *pop* of flying buttons as she ruined his shirt had a musical quality all of its own. Nino gasped into the kiss and let his hands slide down, pulling her to him. Her hands snaked into his shirt, fingers exploring, nails threatening. He wanted all of her. They kissed anew. He staggered off balance a step as she skittered back. Turbulence, but nothing outside the plane could match what was happening within at this point.

Nino breathed against her lips, “I want-”

Chloé cooed in return, “Please.”

He followed the sleek line of her hips, and his hands drifted back, cupping her backside and once more feeling the firm muscle beneath soft skin. The very first moment he had dared to touch her came back in vivid detail. This time, there was no silk to offer them decency. Neither of them wanted anything decent anyway.

Chloé caught hold of his belt and pulled. At first he thought she was fighting his buckle, but she stepped back and pulled again. He stumbled after her, a man lost and uncaringly so. She pulled him to the rear cabin, and within a bed where silk once more took a part.

It was unlike anything he had known before. She was unlike anything he had known before. In that eternal moment, he was unlike anything he had known before. She was bold, aggressive, and seemed determined to memorize every inch of him this very night. Yet in turn she was at times timid, lost; following his lead without a sound, save the cries drawn from between gasping lips.

When the moment came, she was astride him, triumphant and glorious. As the rush overtook him, those two blue eyes looked down with a selfish glee. She collapsed down on him, kissing away her momentary greed with soft, soothing words and one last coaxing wiggle of her hips.

They lay together, apart from the concept of time. Nino stroked down her back, even in his haze still marveling at the muscles hidden beneath her deceptively fragile surface. He had an inkling now of just what they could do. Chloé cuddled down on him, arms tucked in against his chest, tracing the contour of his collarbone with a fingertip.

She broke the silence first. “Best.  Birthday.  Ever.”

Nino opened his mouth to speak, but a long sigh of contentment found its way out first. He murmured in its wake, “Am I allowed to agree?”

She responded by slipping off of him and rolling into a languorous stretch that took her off the bed in three different places at once. Airline luxury still had its limits. She cuddled back in and replied with deliberately false innocence, "So, you're saying I did good?"

Nino chuckled, still floating. Everything was funny, everything was good. He snuggled her against him. "Fishing for compliments?"

"A girl's allowed to be a little nervous her first time."

Nino's mind blanked, then rapidly replayed the last several weeks. None of it added up. He must've spent time in those memories because she reached up, turning his head with a hand on his cheek, and kissed him with the gentle kiss he had taught her himself.

Gallantry protested, "But you never said- I would have-"

"What?" She challenged gently. "What would you have done differently?"

Conventional wisdom persisted, "Still…"

Chloé sat up. She pulled out her ponytail and let her hair form a canopy over him. In that shadowy halflight the challenge when from gentle to sincere. "Then let's do it all again, right now. It won't be the first, and you can indulge your every hunger guilt free."

Gallantry be damned.

Nino pulled her back down, and together they roiled the bedsheets again. A tête-à-tête of lust passed between them, each attempting to outdo the other. At the penultimate moment he had her wrists pinned over her head, while her legs ensnared his hips just as completely. The plane dropped into final descent; climax in freefall.

This time they simply lay in exhaustion where they fell. Landing, taxiing, and shut down taking place in the distant background. 

Eventually came a knock on the cabin door, and a, "Mademoiselle?" that was obvious in it's attempted discretion. Cabin walls were thin after all, and Nino had discovered Chloé could sing just as well as she could dance.

Chloé unwound herself from him and sat up. One hand lay on his chest still as she called out. "Be out in a few minutes. Have the limo brought around."

Nino managed to sit up, though he wanted nothing more than what he felt would be his most complete sleep in months. He reached for his glasses, they hadn't survived the second round in place. With vision restored he dug for his phone -Chloé's was still out in the main cabin with her… everything- Eleven o'clock. He watched Chloé for a few moments as she worked to restore her tousled hair to its ponytail.

He asked the obvious, "So, what happens now?"

[an-enby-called-ro]

I've been very careful about only taking two doses of my meds a day this past, idk how long it's been, like a week? Time has no meaning to me atm. But now I'm running out and have to make the decision between ordering more and having 3 full boxes sitting in front of me while I'm in a bad place, risking another OD, or completely running out and having more/stronger hallucinations. A dilemma indeed...

[night-market-if]

Hello, congratulations on the update! I want to share my thoughts, if I may. Chapter 6 is very strong emotionally. For me this chapter was interesting, but at the same time a little sad? Let me explain. With each chapter, the readers can feel more and more of Malcolm's influence on the characters. And this is natural, given that he is an important person for them. But on the other hand, if you imagine yourself in the MC place, it becomes really sad. They know nothing about this man, he is a stranger to them. But they still have to help, because they see Hazel's grief, Milo's confusion, and the MC clearly has a kind heart. Although they themselves can feel pain, unpleasant and maybe even jealous (in Milo's route at least). They may feel like a third wheel. This is a very interesting feeling, 'cos even though Malcolm hasn't yet appeared in text, he already evokes feelings and not the most positive ones. And it's not bad! But I hope you understand what I mean. MC must save the whole world and understand who they are, even if they do not feel like a real part of this world. Moreover, Malcolm's shadow looms brighter and brighter.

I think that is an incredibly interesting point to bring up and think upon. And it is one that I have already thought of myself within the broad scope of the narration. I am really coming to a place where I think that is going to boil over and come to the forefront more for the MC (if you choose). So far, the MC only knows of this man through the lens of others too. Which, I think we are coming to find out through different scenarios, that the people who were close to him may not have the actual picture of this man either. Malcolm's presence should be one that looms. Good or bad will be a personal choice within the game, but I absolutely want it to feel like a conflict. Just like in life, when we have something that needs to be done, something important, the rest of the world doesn't always get put on hold. Malcolm is the representation of that in some ways.

What I also find funny, is Malcolm is actually incredibly goal driven. If he was here, he would have been ten steps ahead trying to save the world. He would have taken the MC away from the bickering or the gutting emotions and very clearly been "this needs to get done now. We live later'. Malcolm would be the one who is able to do what needs to be done without hesitation. He would talk to the Barons. He, is probably the one you need more than your RO's in this situation, but he is also the one who is unable to be here.

I think when it comes to the idea of Malcolm Albright, there is a lot of conflicting feelings and that is exactly what I want. Because, after all, conflict is at the base of any story.

Your feelings of sorrow are warranted in this chapter. And, I do probably need to put out a PSA, it's about to get tough, guys. It's about to get real tough. This is not to discourage anyone, but I am a writer that likes to get into sticky emotions. Hell, I'm an individual who likes to get into sticky emotions. I think that's what makes life beautiful and what makes characters come alive. If you are looking for a sweet romance or a story that doesn't get raw, I don't know if this is the one for you. And that is more a statement addressed to everyone, not you, anon.

Thank you for sharing this one. I think it is wonderful that you are thinking about these situations deeply like this.

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