#I want to see it because I think the writers understood the assignment

[doodles-with-noodles]

I don’t have the streaming services to watch it but from what I have gathered so far the crew of the enterprise from strange new worlds just keeps stealing Jim from the Farragut. What are you doing with that man. Why are you forcibly adopting him.

[kbandtrash]

Less Than Three (Hongjoong x Reader)

~Rachel~

@sorryimananti-romantic hahaha remember how I said I was the slowest writer ever? Apparently that's not true because it only took me a month and a half to write this. I need help

Content: fluff, a whole lot of delusional one-sided pining (the cute kind though) (from him), silly middle school antics from both teachers and students, betting, friends to lovers

Summary: Kim Hongjoong teaches middle school math and finds himself absolutely smitten with you, the math department's newest hire. You're the last person to find out.

Note: This is set in an American-style middle school because that's where my teaching experiences have been and I figured my best work would come out of the system I'm most familiar with

Word Count: 11.5k

Why did Hongjoong choose middle school?

He asks himself this question every day as well

If he wanted to be a math teacher, high school was clearly a better option

But no he had started out in a middle school, promising to take a high school position as soon as one opened up

And now he was actively avoiding high school principals that wanted to recruit him

Is it because he found out the math is easier to explain and the kids really aren’t that bad?

Yeah sure

But this year he had another reason to stay

See his math department had a position open up this summer and as he got to take part in interviews to select a new hire

He fell in love

Now that was not the whole reason he advocated to hire you

In fact your credentials as a math teacher

The places you had taught before

Your praxis exam scores

Your recommendation letters

The professional development programs you were a part of

Test scores from your previous classes

The way you understood math

And especially the way you believed that every student had the potential to pass your class

All of these made you the obvious choice and everyone else agreed

But he was struck several times with Cupid’s arrows throughout the interview and that absolutely did not hurt his opinion of you as a potential colleague

On this particular morning his excuse to talk to you before classes started for the day was a test for your 7th graders

Which they would be taking next Friday

Your feedback always ended up being valuable anyway so there was no need for this to be an “excuse” but it got to be one anyway

You were typing something up when he knocked on the open door to your classroom to announce his presence

You finished typing your sentence before you looked up, and when you saw Hongjoong leaning against the door frame with some papers in his hand, you greeted him with a smile and a wave

He wondered if it would look unprofessional if he grew out his hair to cover his ears

You looked gorgeous today (every day) and he knew there was no stopping his ears from turning bright red

“I have the unit tests for 7th,” he said, stealing a chair from a desk to sit backwards on while he talked to you

“Oh good!” you replied. “I’ll take a look at those and get them back to you by lunch”

Buy lunch he thought

That sounded like an excellent idea

He should buy you lunch

He didn’t say that though

“Works for me. How was your weekend?”

And he stalled and stalled and stalled until the first bell rang and he had to get out to hall duty

At lunch he walked in again while you were putting in assignment scores and munching on some pretzel sticks

“I made a key for that new assignment we decided to add for 8th grade. Can you check answers if you get the time?”

His heart did a little flip as you covered your mouth with your hand while you finished chewing

How could you be so graceful and polite?

And your hands were so pretty wow

“Yes just as soon as I finish putting these in. And—” you turned your chair around and grabbed something from behind you— “here are the 7th tests from this morning. I added a couple notes on the integer operations review questions, but other than that, I think they’re great”

He unfortunately did need to go and eat his own lunch and fulfill other teacherly lunchtime duties so he couldn’t stall as much as this morning

But he read your notes on the way back to his classroom

And boy he could have lived in your handwriting

The pen that you used was the perfect instrument to capture every letter, every dot, every loop in a way that encapsulated your personality

And as soon as he caught himself thinking that he knew he needed to ask the home ec teacher to smack him over the head with a frying pan because wowie

He would need professional help in order to date you like a normal person at this point

Anyway he was practically skipping back after lunch because he came up with another question to ask you

There were students there so instead of using your first name he caught your attention by calling you Miss (L/N)

Which for some reason gives him more butterflies than calling you normally

This time luckily instead of giving you a new task it was a task he could do for you

“How many copies of the activity page should I put you down for?”

“Ooh good question”

You put your finger over your lips as you counted on your other hand and he had to actively look away and think about other things

There were students present after all

“Which classes are you doing it with?” you ended up asking

He used the opportunity to set a hand down on your desk and lean forward in a cool pose

“I’m making the eighth graders do it but it’s extra credit for the seventh”

“That sounds like a good plan to me. So sixty for the eighth graders and then how many do you think I would need if it’s optional?”

Oh boy he loved it when you asked for advice

It gave him the chance to look cool and smart and he always got to play it off as the humble senior teacher

“I do half just to be safe. Plus then you have extra if you want to do it again later in the year or even next year”

And then your face did that thing it did when you liked a suggestion he gave

Your face lit up with your eyebrows raised and your mouth in a little “ooh”

There were students around there were students around

“Okay then sixty for the eighth graders and forty-five for seventh. A hundred and five?”

He scribbled the number down on the copy request form

“Excellent. I’ll run this down then”

He gave you a smile and a wave as he went to attend to his own class

Which you returned

And he was sure his heart would never physically recover from the stress it was under this year

You didn’t need to know that you were the only other teacher he was sharing this particular activity page with

He would give it to the other teachers if they asked him for it but he wasn’t going to go out of his way for this one because it was kind of silly and short

But he would do anything to make your first year at a new school just a little bit easier

Back in his classroom he tried to get class started when one of his eighth graders had the audacity to raise his hand and say the following:

“You just walked back from Miss (L/N)’s class huh?”

Mr. Kim squinted suspiciously at the student

“Yeah…why”

“You’re way nicer when you go to her class before our class starts”

Before he had any time to figure out what that meant, the class exploded in giggles and shouts of agreement

“Yeah you smile a lot more this year than you did last year” a girl who had had his class the previous year as well agreed

And then from the back corner

One of the notorious trouble makers stood up

Pointed his finger up at poor Mr. Kim, who was now considering taking a high school position again

And shouted “Mr. Kim has a crush on Miss (L/N)!!!”

There was no longer any hope for this class

Exponent rules? Down the drain

Hongjoong was now a laughingstock

Irredeemable in front of a bunch of 13-14 year olds

So he stood with his hands clasped behind his back, lips pursed, and his eyes dangerously blank

It wasn’t long before kids started shushing each other

Even once they were quiet, he held their attention for a second longer

“If you have two to the fourth times two to the third, what’s the product?” he asked clearly, writing the problem on the whiteboard in new black marker

Not addressing the issue would not stem the tide of curious teenagers for long but it would have to be a band-aid solution until he figured out how to do this properly

Because he couldn’t allow rumors to spread that he liked you because firstly unprofessional and secondly what if you heard them and thought he was weird

But he couldn’t lie and allow rumors to spread that he definitely didn’t have a crush on you because firstly. unprofessional kids don’t need to know about that stuff

Like they think they’re all mature and old enough to date when they can’t even drive yet like can you imagine as a teenager asking your mom to drive you to your date with your girlfriend. Embarrassing

BUT SECONDLY

What if you heard the rumors and maybe you did like him back and it crushed your heart to hear that he didn’t like you

While the kids were working on their assignment and he was working on his computer he decided the best way to explain this to them

If they ever brought it up again

Was that they’re always in a better mood when they get to talk to their friends, right?

You’re a good friend and it’s fun working with you

The other math teachers are fun too but you’re close to his age so it makes sense that you would be closer

Yep

Good explanation Mr. Kim

Literally just one day later the kids bring it up again and they do not buy his explanation

They don’t even pretend to because their brains are not developed enough to have that kind of social tact

And the rumor doesn’t exactly spread like wildfire around the school but everyone knows about it you know what I mean

Except you actually

You’re usually very aware of everything going on in your classroom but somehow this particular subject escaped your attention

You learned early on that for some reason kids don’t have shame anymore in spilling their guts to the classroom about what they’re gossiping about

So the usual “if you can’t wait to tell your friend later then tell the whole class now” classroom management tactic is now useless

So you didn’t do that instead you just asked them which problem they’re helping their friend with and if they’re not helping their friend with math then they should get back on task

You didn’t think that any middle school level gossip could actually be that interesting anyway so yeah you had no idea that kids were shipping the teachers

And you didn’t want to know

So you stayed blissfully ignorant

While Hongjoong was lowkey agonizing over it

Now you and Hongjoong tend to eat lunch in your own classrooms rather than the staff lounge

Because why use up any more social energy than necessary right

But there is a vending machine in the staff room and Hongjoong was craving something sweet one day

And when he walked in the other teachers in there suddenly went awkwardly silent

And he knew

They were talking about him

Yeah he should take a high school position next year

Two of the younger teachers, Jung Wooyoung from the history department and Choi San from the phys ed department, broke the silence giggling to each other

“Sorry Hongjoong” San apologized “the kids are just hilarious these days. They’re so excited about you and (Y/N) it’s adorable”

Hongjoong gave them a look

“Adorable?”

“Well firstly you” Wooyoung pointed out “I never thought I’d see you fall head over heels but I totally get it. She’s super cool”

“And secondly the kids” San continued “any time you guys are talking in the hall I have all of the girls talking about it during warm ups. The boys all think of you as their role model when it comes to liking a girl”

“That reminds me!” Wooyoung interrupted “I actually did have a boy confess to a girl in my class the other day and you wanna know what he told her??”

Hongjoong’s eyebrows furrowed in a glare, absolutely sure that his reputation was never going to recover

“He said ‘I like you more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The teachers tried to tone down their laughter out of respect

Hongjoong wanted to leave immediately but this stupid vending machine was having issues

“And then you know what she said back?”

Wooyoung was having trouble holding himself together

His eyes were shining a little with tears of laughter

“She said ‘That’s impossible. No one can like anyone more than Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N)’”

The other teachers could not hold it back anymore

The vending machine finally gave Hongjoong his candy bar

(Plus the extra one he bought for you)

So he made his way swiftly back towards the door

“Oh no no wait” Wooyoung called after him

“Tests to grade” Hongjoong lied simply

“No come on you have to hear this”

Hongjoong stopped at the door, fighting the urge to classroom manage his coworkers

He looked back both unimpressed and expectant at the same time

“Okay everyone raise your hands if you betted on before Christmas break” Wooyoung called out

Some of the teachers looked at him like he had just asked out a widow at her husband’s funeral

But they raised their hands sheepishly anyway

“Great yes and after Christmas break?”

The other half raised their hands, most of them looking like they wished that had eaten lunch in their own classrooms

“These are bets on when you’re going to ask her out” Wooyoung explained cheerfully

“Wasn’t someone also trying to get bets going on whether you would confess first or she would notice first?” San asked

“That was also me” Wooyoung said with a grin

The lounge door opened again and in walked the principal and one of the vice principals

Hongjoong thought this was finally the end to this stupid conversation

But no

“Oh Hongjoong!” the principal greeted him with a pat on the arm “I’ve got $50 on you dating before Christmas. Don’t let me down”

Waiting until the end of the school year to take a new position would simply not be soon enough

Hongjoong needed to find a new job or retire within the month

But then on the way back to his classroom he remembered he had an extra candy bar for you

So he made a detour

But what greeted him was a closed door with the window on the door covered

He hadn’t ever seen your door shut like this before so he wasn’t sure what it meant exactly

Maybe you went out to lunch today?

Then he could just nab one of your sticky notes and leave the candy bar on your desk with a positive message

He would rather give it to you himself, but the idea of you finding the candy bar on your desk later made his chest feel all warm and cozy so it was fine

Your door was unlocked, so he pulled it open just enough so he could see inside

And you were in there actually

Slumped in your desk chair with your head in your hands

Oh

Oh no

Hongjoong had been there before

Every teacher had been there before

The work of a teacher isn’t as easy as most people would like to believe

Especially for middle school, and even more so for math, it takes someone with unending patience and courage to help kids learn every day

And some days that patience and courage runs a little thinner than other days

Even experienced teachers wonder from time to time if it’s worth the soul that they give to their classes

The classes that seem sometimes not to notice one way or the other if you’re teaching or not

You hadn’t noticed that you weren’t quite alone anymore, so that left Hongjoong with a choice to make

Did he let you have this moment to yourself?

Or did he try to help you through it?

He closed the door as softly as he could

And then he gave a little knock to give you some privacy and some time to gather yourself

Then he opened the door and stepped halfway through

“The vending machine spat out two candy bars instead of one” he lied with a grin, holding up the extra candy bar and wiggling it between his fingers

You had sat up and were resting your chin on your hand curiously

But there was definitely a downtrodden aura about you that he couldn’t miss

“That’s pretty lucky,” you replied

He took that as permission to enter and on his way to your desk he snagged his usual chair to sit backwards on

“How’s today going so far?” he asked as if he knew nothing, setting the candy bar down on top of your closed computer

“Oh, you know,” you sighed

He chuckled, opening his candy bar, not making eye contact with you to relieve some pressure for you to keep up an act

“That good, huh?”

You laughed in return

“Just got my butt kicked by a bunch of seventh graders, so yeah, it’s kind of whatever right now”

Ah the teacher equivalent of “I want to quit my job and hide in my bed for the rest of my life”

“Oh, yep, I’ve been there more than once” he said with a nod “and sometimes there’s really nothing you could have done better, you know? Kids are just like that sometimes. It makes me glad I’m not an elementary school teacher”

“Oh my word yes” you agreed, finally picking up the candy bar “at least I can kick these gremlins out after 45 minutes and I don’t have to see them again until the next day. I can’t imagine being with the same class all day”

Did Hongjoong end up squandering his entire eating time just to talk with you and make sure you felt better?

Yes

He would have to sneak bites of his sandwich in between activities during his afternoon classes

But like it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do that and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

At least he had a good reason today instead of something stupid like he was lost in the test grading sauce and forgot to eat

He proceeded to get his butt kicked by his afternoon classes because he couldn’t wipe his lovefool smile off his face

But it was okay because once again it wasn’t the first time and heaven knew it wouldn’t be the last

Not long after came the hallowed and hated teacher inservice day

Professional development day

Both a huge waste of time and a relaxing little work day

The administrators usually planned a series of workshops for the morning that all looked. well. kind of stupid but it was all planned with good intention

Then it was lunch time

And then after that you had until the end of contract hours to do whatever pretty much

The math department liked to go to lunch together and then have a really productive planning meeting until people got bored and then it was individual prep time pretty much

Mostly it was just kinda nice to be at school without kids there

This year was no exception to all of this

But Mr. Principal had $50 on the line and decided to play matchmaker about it

For each of the workshops the teachers were split into groups

And you and Hongjoong had been placed together every single time

Somehow you genuinely thought it was just good luck

Hongjoong was hyperaware of every other teacher looking and pointing and giggling and you were so peacefully oblivious to it

The first workshop was about medical emergency training, specifically training teachers in case of allergy or diabetic emergencies

As soon as the nurse finished with the epipen instructions you leaned over to Hongjoong and whispered “like this?” 

And stabbed him with the fake epipen right in the thigh

Hongjoong swore he was going to die right then and there because why was that so attractive???

“Four…five…six…seven…eight…” you counted out, holding the epipen in place for the full ten seconds

And like a good patient he sat like a statue because his circuits were absolutely fried

You glanced up at his face and your expression immediately dropped

You checked the epipen all over to make sure it was just a trainer

(It was)

“Hongjoong are you okay?? Your face is all red did I do something wrong?” you worried

He unfroze and tried to undo the damage of his Little Moment but the nurse was already over at the table taking a closer look at him after dismissing the rest of the teachers to practice

She looked at you and then at Hongjoong and then at you again and back at Hongjoong and a funny look of understanding came over her face

“Are you Mr. Kim the math teacher” she asked

He nodded awkwardly

“And are you Miss (L/N) the math teacher” she asked

“Yes?” you answered

She patted Hongjoong on the shoulder

“He’ll be fine in a minute or so” she reassured you, glancing up and away somewhere else

You both followed her gaze over to the principal, who gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up

Which looked innocuous enough to the untrained eye

But to Hongjoong this was just another in a long list of embarrassments

The principal had told the guest workshop speakers about him

And he had been spotted that easily

After that was administration-provided snack time

Hongjoong offered to grab sodas if you would grab chips and stuff

And at the soda table he was greeted by Wooyoung and San, who called him affectionately Mr. Traffic Light

Hongjoong resisted the urge to react publicly

Even though there were no children around he refused to allow himself to be caught cursing them out

But he brainstormed violently about the ways he could get back at them without getting caught

Truly his middle school teacher powers of ignoring were activated because those two were practically dancing around him trading one-liner after one-liner and Hongjoong paid them no mind

Until he realized they were following him back to the table where he was sitting with you

He did not need them teasing him around you so he tried to shoo them off

But Wooyoung gleefully turned his attention up to the projector screen where the groupings for the next workshop were displayed

Truly your presence was the only saving grace this day had to offer

They were in this group with you two

The computer teacher/school tech support guy was leading this workshop and he was showcasing how one might use ai in their classroom

And all four of you were totally zoned out because firstly ai in a math classroom?? For what

Chat bots are notoriously bad at math

Ai in San’s gymnasium? Once again no practical application

And Wooyoung honestly just wasn’t that interested because none of you were listening so he didn’t feel like he had to either

So he decided flirting with you was more fun

Just to make Hongjoong mad

But for all of his whispered pick up lines and compliments you had approximately the same response as to this ai workshop:

Playing gamepigeon with Hongjoong under the table

(Which Hongjoong had initiated by the way)

(And you had perpetuated after destroying him at the mini golf game)

Aka you ignored Wooyoung pretty well

So Hongjoong got to glare over at him with the peace of mind that your attention was fully his right then

San tapped your shoulder and asked for your number

Which you gave him a little too easily for Hongjoong’s continued peace of mind

But then San just made a group chat for the four of you to play uno together for the remainder of the workshop

So Hongjoong decided that actually this setup wasn’t so bad

The last workshop was unfortunately much more important so the four of you couldn’t continue slacking off

The principal was running this one and it was genuinely for the betterment of the school environment

Plus San and Wooyoung were sent off to other groups

So it was the two of you and a few other senior teachers that were going to have a discussion about one of the behavior initiatives that the school was trying out

You were the only two math teachers in the group, so when the principal passed out data that had been collected about this behavior initiative, the other teachers sort of automatically passed the papers to you

(And the science teachers in the group but that’s irrelevant)

There was only one copy of each dataset, so that meant you got to share

And that meant that you got to scoot your chairs close together to look at the paper at the same time

And even better the text was kind of small so you had to bring the papers close to your faces to read them

So the two of you were shoulder to shoulder

Practically cheek to cheek, your heads almost touching

To read this data and explain it to the less number-savvy teachers

Today was actually pretty fantastic so far, Hongjoong thought

He also wondered if you could physically feel the heat coming off of his face but that was not something he was going to let bother him right then

He was going to live in the moment

And perhaps thank the principal later

After a surprisingly productive and insightful discussion

It was finally ~lunch time~

The math department gathered up in the department head’s classroom to decide which of the nearby restaurants to choose to go to

And no one could agree

Not a single person was feeling like eating the same thing

Except Hongjoong he was agreeing with whatever you said

Not just because he wanted you to have your way but because whatever you said sounded good to him too

Maybe it sounded good because you said it but nonetheless

And then the department head said the following fateful words:

“How about you two just go ahead and we’ll try to decide on something for the rest of us

Hongjoong was suspicious right then and there that this was a setup

The department head probably had money on Before Christmas

But Hongjoong was absolutely not going to let this opportunity slip through his fingers

“I’m cool with that” you answered before Hongjoong could gather his thoughts enough to say anything

Then you turned to him

“I need to go grab my purse from my classroom. Do you need anything from yours?”

“Oh, yeah, just my wallet” he answered totally on autopilot

You stopped by your classroom first and then his since his was closer to the front of the school

He was so excited to finally realize that dream of his from a few weeks back

He was gonna buy you lunch

And not only that it was just the two of you going out to lunch

It didn’t matter that this wasn’t a date

Or that technically you were just gonna buy food and eat it back at school

It was special to him to go somewhere with just you 

That wasn’t school

Seriously he was so happy he couldn’t stop smiling when he told the cashier that your orders were together and he was going to pay

You kinda elbowed him and told him he didn’t have to do that

But he just shrugged and turned his smile on you

“But I wanted to” he replied

You accepted that

“It’s on me next time” you promised

And oh man he could have died right there he felt so complete

Except if he died then there would be no next time

But you were saying next time and it made him think that wow yeah this would happen again

You meant if it ever happened again but he was determined that it was a certain for the future

Because even if it didn’t happen by chance then he would make it happen himself

When you got back to the school the rest of the math department was gone so you started eating without them

And that was a magical moment of peace too

Just the two of you

No one around to tease Hongjoong

He could almost pretend you were just normal friends and he wasn’t head over heels for you

Then the rest of the department came back and they all had food from the same restaurant

So Hongjoong had been right to be suspicious earlier

It was most definitely a setup to get the two of you by yourselves

And he liked it so he wasn’t going to complain about it

Even though it was embarrassing

Well as fun as professional development day ended up being

Parent teacher conferences were not

Hongjoong was looking forward to more Mr. Principal shenanigans

Like maybe when all the teachers were in the gym yours and his table could be next to each other

And he could talk to you when neither of you had any parents

And when the night was wrapping up

And he could walk you out to your car because it was dark

And maybe treat you to dinner because the school-provided food wasn’t usually that great

But no

None of that could happen

Because someone had decided to have teachers stay in their classrooms for conferences this year

The parents would have the wonderful opportunity to get lost in their child’s school trying to find all of their classes

What a joke

They were probably going to get so many complaints they would switch it back to normal next semester

But the one time Hongjoong was looking forward to parent teacher conferences

Of course

Was the one time they had to switch it up

The one silver lining in this was the teachers complaining about it together

Hongjoong’s favorite email he had ever received was now from Wooyoung

Who was replying to the email notifying teachers of the different setup this year but just to Hongjoong

In all lowercase:

“hey loverboy u see this crap

math teacher romancephobic fr smh”

And then with his full professional email signature at the bottom

This precious email was moved to Hongjoong’s funny emails folder, which was usually reserved for unhinged student emails

He did not reply to it

San and the other phys ed teachers were joking about how nice it would be to have the gym to themselves for once but they were in agreement that this probably wouldn’t last

Of course the math department had tests scheduled across all the grades right before conferences

Which of course left everyone grading like crazy

And of course the kids trashed the classrooms the day before

And of course the head janitor ended up getting sick

So it was up to the teachers to make sure their classrooms didn’t look like trash

Even though they had 150+ tests to grade and a pile of late work to grade

And they had 24 hours (7 of which were going to be spent teaching, and hopefully 7-8 would be spent sleeping) to make this all work before parents started showing up at 4 o’clock tomorrow afternoon

What a time this was going to be

So Hongjoong picked up his pile of tests and went to your classroom

Predictably you were grading tests

He stole a student desk and moved it close to your desk

“Which tests are you working on?” he asked

“Eighth” you replied, not looking up from the test you were currently grading

“How does this sound” he began “I’ll take your seventh and you take my eighth so we don’t have to switch answer keys?”

Still barely looking up, you handed him three binder-clipped stacks of paper

“As long as you don’t mind working to music” you replied, your eyebrows raising as a little smile played on your lips

He took your tests and handed you his eighth grade tests

(This worked out nicely as you both had three classes of seventh and two classes of eighth. He was tricking you into letting him take the heavier load ohoho so sneaky)

(He was just lucky you were grading eighth instead of seventh first)

“Don’t mind?” he snickered, uncapping his favorite felt-tip grading pen “I’d prefer it”

And that’s how speed grading turned into karaoke

Grading went almost certainly slower than it would have if you had worked alone but it was way more fun this way

Of course he ended up with sixty some more tests to grade than you

So when you finished you left for a bit and came back with snacks

As well as his pile of late work

He tried to protest but no no

“You’re not nearly as sneaky as you think you are Mr. Kim” you teased him “You thought you could fool a math teacher into thinking we had an equal workload here?”

“That wasn’t the point” he whined, trying to put the cap back on his pen and inking his finger instead

“Then what was the point?”

I love you that’s the point

But what was the point actually

What was a point he could believably tell you without giving himself away

“Just…because” he said convincingly, shrugging his shoulders and settling back into his tests “You look stressed these days. Wanted to do something nice I guess”

You brandished his late work stack again

“So I’m going to do something nice too”

Yeah he probably wouldn’t ever feel this way about anyone ever again

For him at this point it was you or nothing

But the problem was he was willing to let it be nothing for far too long

He would never make a single move unless he knew you were okay with it

Because if he and his stupid heart ruined whatever you had going now then it would really be nothing

He wouldn’t give up the something he still had

He was like a curve approaching an asymptote

He could get infinitely close, but he would never actually touch you

After settling your gradebooks for tomorrow you started by picking up your classroom together

This did go faster with music by the way

And then you picked up his classroom together

And then he realized Hongjoong realized he could have his wish

The one about walking you out to your car and taking you out to dinner

Walking you out was easy but taking you out was another story

He would have to suggest it himself

A little known fact about teachers is that they became teachers because they don’t know how/don’t want to talk with other adults

Kids don’t judge you if something comes out of your mouth a little different than you meant it

Other adults are mean and judge you over silly things

This unfortunately meant that he didn’t know how to ask you to go to dinner with him without making it sound like a date

He was kinda just hoping a lil Kdrama moment would happen and one of your stomachs would rumble really loud so he could laugh it off and say you should go eat together

But you got closer and closer to your car and no tummy rumbling

You got to your car and no tummy rumbling

You opened your door and said goodbye and still no tummy rumbling

“Wait!!!”

He could have slapped his own mouth

You were a little startled but it stopped you from getting in your car

“Hmm?”

“Just uh…it’s kinda late and snacks are great but they’re not that filling…so do you wanna um…” he trailed off and did not finish his thought

“Wanna what?” you asked

Big boy pants Hongjoong come on

“Go grab dinner? Or something?” he finally spat out

He must not have seen your face light up in the dark

“No pressure” he added when you didn’t answer within 0.05 seconds

“No that sounds great! I was thinking of grabbing something on the way home anyway and it would be way more fun to do it with someone else” you accepted

He let you pick the place again and you drove separately because after you would be going in different directions

But it ended up being a nice little fast casual restaurant

And it didn’t feel like a date really but it kinda felt like a date but no it didn’t

It just ended up being a comfortable little outing between friends

Hongjoong knew he couldn’t stop smiling

And he wondered if you already knew how he felt about you

He was sure he didn’t smile like this at anyone else

And you were many things but dense couldn’t possibly be one of them

He knew he was the opposite of subtle

But if you were willing to spend time with him like this then that meant he didn’t make you uncomfortable

Honestly he was so used to the way you made him feel at this point that loving you from afar felt like second nature

Being friends with you was enough if he could keep loving you like this

The waiter came by and asked if it was one check or two

And Hongjoong was fully prepared to pay once again

But you beat him to it

You were already prepared with your card and everything

“I owe you for last time, remember?” you told him with a cheeky grin

He shook his head

“You don’t owe me anything”

“Well then next time it’s on you”

Hongjoong started to smile again

“Next time?”

“Well, yeah” you said with a shrug, now a little bashful “This was fun. We should keep doing it”

“It is fun” he agreed with a laugh “It’s nice to hang out with people outside of school for once”

You laughed at that

“Oh boy tell me about it. Nobody told me that teaching would ruin my social life”

And things just kind of continued like that for a while

Before you had come to the school, Hongjoong had lowkey felt like he was kind of going nowhere with his life

Any time he spent at school outside of his contract hours felt like an infringement on his personal time

Or not even at school, just away from home

He had been hoping that taking a high school position would give him back a little bit of the passion for teaching that he was losing

He hadn’t even been teaching that long it’s just that the profession really is like that

Indescribably rewarding and incredibly draining all at the same time

(Especially these days. Sometimes you really wonder if it’s worth it)

But having something to look forward to every day besides a favorite class ended up being what he needed to love his job wholeheartedly again

It wasn’t just you he had fallen in love with

He had also found new friends in an unlikely place

The math department was like family and he enjoyed their company dearly

But that weirdo phys ed teacher and obnoxious history teacher had turned into excellent friends frighteningly fast

Sometimes they joined you and Hongjoong on your dinner outings

And honestly it was such a blast

An amendment to my previous statement about teachers being teachers because they don’t like talking to other adults:

Other teachers often do not count as other adults

Sometimes they do when you have to have grown up conversations

But gossiping about students does not count as grown up conversation

There were some eighth graders that all four of you had

Hongjoong not currently but he’d had them for previous classes and they were now in your class

Was it a little embarrassing as 20 somethings to have your main source of gossip be preteens?

Yeah but oh man there is nothing like finding out which of your students are lying to their other teachers about the work they need to do

Or what they’re like in other classes

(You and Hongjoong, and sometimes Wooyoung, tended to have very different opinions about some students than San did so it was double fascinating)

Who they’re friends with outside of your class

Or crushes they have on each other

Basically if you spend every day around preteens you gossip like them too

It was now November and starting to get uncomfortably cold outside

So San had offered his home as a little gathering space for you all to order food and hang out

It was almost like a little Friendsgiving

“Any of you have (male student name, obnoxious connotation)?” Wooyoung asked, taking a sip of his soda

You immediately scoffed

“I’m about to write an email home about that kid”

Hongjoong was surprised

Annoying kids existed in every class but you usually had something nice to say about them at first at least before you got into the bad behavior

He hadn’t had this particular student but he was intrigued as to why he annoyed you so much

Wooyoung and San also both looked surprised

“He’s great in gym—like cooperative, doesn’t do stupid stuff too often—” San said “but that doesn’t usually mean anything about how they are in math class”

“No he’s great in history too” Wooyoung added “finishes all his work on time, helps his friends with theirs if he finishes”

Your eye might have twitched a little bit

You let out an unamused laugh and crossed your arms over your chest

Hongjoong was fascinated and quite enamored with this new side of you

“If he has time to help his friends then he should be working on the seven late assignments I’ve been reminding him about. He hasn’t turned in anything for two weeks”

Wooyoung gasped and covered his mouth

“You’re joking”

“I’ve talked to him about it twice and I warned him if I had to remind him a third time then I would email his parents” you said, shaking your head “Like I asked him if he’s understanding the material, if he’s got something going on at home, if he needs some help, and he’s giving me nothing to go off of”

Wooyoung smiled devilishly

“He’s been lying to me, then. I ask him every day if he has other classes to do stuff for and he says no. I will absolutely be getting on him about that”

San shook his head

“Teenagers” he sighed

Everyone nodded and repeated what he’d said

“Teenagers.”

After a moment of silence, Hongjoong spoke up

“How about (female student name, pleasant connotation)?”

The mood lifted immediately and everyone gave their own version of the word “aww”

“She is the highlight of my whole day” you said

“Seriously she’s so polite and she tries so hard even when she’s having a hard time” Wooyoung agreed

“Super athletic too” San added

“Ooh and (male student name, pleasant connotation)?” you said to another chorus of agreement “He’s kind of a punk sometimes but he’s another one that always does his best”

Hongjoong smiled

Complaining was fun, but he loved the light in your eyes when you talked about the parts of the job that you loved

Anyway as I said it was November and the Before Christmas faction of teachers was starting to get nervous because there was no sign of anything happening

They saw you walk out together more than usual but they didn’t know that you were meeting up outside of school and stuff

The kids were also more riled up about it than usual

To the point where Hongjoong wondered if the other teachers were inciting chaos on purpose

It was getting bad enough that one of his classes almost failed a test across the board—on a unit about rounding and converting fractions to decimals of all things

As in the easiest math ever

So Mr. Kim had to resort to drastic measures

At the beginning of all his classes, he drew a box on the edge of the whiteboard

“This is the nonsense box” he explained with a teacherly smile

That is to say frustrated but still filled with love for his students

“Every time one of you is talking about anything that is not related to class, a tally mark goes in the box. Each tally mark represents an extra fifteen seconds you get to sit in your seat after the bell rings”

A chorus of protest arose

“I don’t want to hear it” Mr. Kim shook his head “How many of you are planning on retaking last Friday’s test?”

About half of the hands in the room came up sheepishly

“Exactly. It’s because we’re constantly off topic that no one is able to listen and learn in here. We can do better, okay?”

And then immediately from the back of the room

“Ooh, Miss (L/N) just passed in the hall!!!”

And chorus of “Ooooooh”

Whether it was true or not, Hongjoong was happy to draw his first tally mark without a word

Just that same teacherly smile

Another round of protest came and he drew another one

After the third tally mark, they shut up

“Good. Let’s talk about coefficients. Has anyone heard that word before?”

Once again I will say it was November

And the month after November is December

And December is the month of Christmas

Not just Christmas break

But Christmas itself

And that meant that Hongjoong now

After coming back from a brief Thanksgiving break

Had only a few weeks to find you a Christmas present

Now he wasn’t thoughtless like this wasn’t the first time it had crossed his mind

It had just stressed him out wondering if he would have the guts to confess his feelings for you or if he would be outed somehow first

Plus in case y’all didn’t know teaching (especially teaching around the holidays) is stressful

He just imagined Christmas as this far off date that was too good to ever come

And so he hadn’t even had time to think about what to get you

Something for your classroom?

Something for your home?

A cute accessory?

A fun math shirt?

Not a gift card though that was far too impersonal

Nothing seemed good enough for you

If he were to deliver his feelings with a gift like any of these, it felt insufficient

Most lunches the last bit of November and the first week of December

(If not spent pestering you)

He spent fretting over his Amazon cart with his head in his hands

And then the most unfortunate miracle occurred

The heaters toward the math hall decided working at full capacity was a waste of tax dollars

And the weather was shaping up to be quite uncomfortable

Everyone started to bring blankets and stuff but it was never quite enough

Your classroom was especially cold, since it was the farthest down the hall

So Hongjoong was gifted an opportunity

He went and found one of those soft and cozy electric blankets

In a color he assumed to be your favorite considering how much you wore it and how many of the little trinkets around your classroom were that color

And he packaged it like he had meant to give it to you for Christmas anyway

Then he brought it for you the next day

You were sitting at your desk in your full winter outdoor gear with a blanket that did look cozy but thankfully was not electric

And your teeth were practically chattering as you waved hello

He still hadn’t taken off his coat or his gloves either actually

He set the present on your desk

“I was saving this for Christmas but I think you might need it more now” he told you with a grin

Your curiosity was suddenly piqued

You opened the gift cautiously, glancing up at him every few seconds

But as soon as you felt the material of the blanket, you perked up

And upon discovering that it was electric you could have cried

“I haven’t been able to feel my fingers since last week” you told him gratefully “Seriously I was trying to figure out how many space heaters I would need to buy to survive the winter”

“The department head has one in her classroom” he said “If you grab your old blanket and your laptop then you can let your new blanket heat up here while we hang out over there”

What a beautiful suggestion

The department head raised her eyebrow at the two of you coming in with blankets

But she smiled too when she saw you settling down in front of her heater

“Don’t tell anyone” she said “but sometimes I take a nap over there during lunch”

“Oh I see exactly why” you agreed, sitting cross-legged and setting your computer in your lap “I can literally feel my bones thawing out”

Hongjoong settled down a respectable distance from you

But he thought someone else was pranking him when he felt a blanket drape over his shoulders

He looked around, startled, and then he realized it was the other side of your blanket

You had thrown your blanket over him to share, even though he had one of his own

And now you were pulling his arm to get him to scoot closer to you

Was this a dream??

He would not be happy if his alarm rang

But no it was real and he happily obliged

You were sitting shoulder to shoulder again

Just like at the professional development workshop

Except this time it was so warm and cozy and there was definitely a much less professional vibe

The department head raised her eyebrow at you once again

But Hongjoong was way too enamored with your shy smile to notice

After just a few minutes in this cozy little haven

Your time was unfortunately cut short

Not by students arriving to school

But by Wooyoung poking his head into the classroom

“Oh I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys”

He stepped into the classroom and greeted its owner accordingly

She nodded as if to allow him permission to enter

“They have hot chocolate down in the teachers lounge” Wooyoung informed them “I figured you icicles back here in the freezer rooms would want some but it looks like you were hiding a—” he looked down at the two of you skeptically “campfire back here”

Wooyoung clearly thought he meant something by that but no one else knew what he was trying to say

So his last comment went ignored

“Do you want hot chocolate?” Hongjoong asked you “I can go get some for us”

“No it’s okay I’ll go with you” 

Oh Wooyoung saw exactly what was going on here

Hongjoong did not

Hongjoong was a little confused—was his help becoming an awkward burden to you?

While Wooyoung saw the truth

You just wanted the excuse to walk with him

Now Wooyoung had two choices

He could step back and let you two walk down together, maybe say something to speed this math teacher romance along

Or he could third wheel

And who was Wooyoung if he didn’t pass up the chance to annoy?

Plus he had taken an oath once he started collecting bets that he wouldn’t try to swing the competition one way or another

And since telling you about the hot chocolate while you were together felt like pushing the competition faster, it felt right to pull it back a bit by getting in between you for a few minutes

So he offered hands to both of you to help you off the floor

“Let’s all go together then” he said “You should also find out if your campsite director wants any”

“Campsite director?” Hongjoong asked, shutting his computer

You also closed your computer and set it aside, looking around to figure out who Wooyoung was talking about

“Your gracious host this morning” he clarified, giving the department head a charming little wave

You both took Wooyoung’s hands at the same time and almost pulled him down with you in the process of standing up

As you straightened your pants, you asked the department head if she wanted you to bring her back any hot chocolate, to which she responded yes please

Wooyoung insisted on walking in the middle

And Hongjoong wondered if all of the patience he had acquired as a middle school teacher was going to be spent on not wringing this guy’s neck this morning

Fortunately Mr. Jung acted enough like one of Mr. Kim’s students that he was able to pretend he was one and just let it go

Unfortunately by the time they got back to the department head’s classroom kids were starting to show up so that was the end of artificial campfire cuddle time

But there was a silent agreement as you picked up your blankets and computers that you would be doing this again sometime

The first few weeks of December didn’t necessarily fly by but they did go by quickly in hindsight if that makes sense

And before everyone knew it

Christmas break was upon you

And there was no further progression of the math department couple

The Before Christmas teachers had gotten antsier and antsier right up until the day before break started

But thankfully no one had been worried enough to interfere

Hongjoong decided to stay in his classroom that day

(As if he didn’t stay in his classroom every day)

Because people had been giving him disappointed looks all over the school and he was tired of it

Even the principal had made a trip to Hongjoong’s classroom the Friday afternoon before everyone left

Just to tell him how disappointed he was that he hadn’t had the guts to make a move even when he knew the principal’s precious money was on the line

And ask him if you were secretly dating already and just didn’t want to make a big deal about it

But ultimately to wish him luck and a nice break

A few minutes after he left, you popped into his classroom

You had your bag and your coat and it looked like you were ready to head home

“Are you so ready to get out of here?” you asked

He stopped immediately in the middle of his task and slammed his laptop shut

Contract hours had ended a whole minute ago and he had wasted a whole minute still doing work? On break?

“Say no more” he said, standing up and putting his coat on “We should have left five minutes ago”

“Wholeheartedly agree” you replied “I would have but the principal visited me and I felt like I had to look like I was doing something”

Hongjoong froze

The principal had visited you too?

Why?

For what purpose?

Betting purposes?

This technically didn’t still count as Before Christmas Break right?

“That’s weird haha he came and visited me too, like ten minutes ago” he said with the normalest most unbothered tone he could manage

(He tried)

(His voice was not quite an octave higher than usual)

(Which is considerable improvement since it’s usually an octave and a half)

“Maybe he’s just making rounds” you said with a shrug “It’s nice to see how much he cares about this school. Definitely one of the better principals I’ve worked with”

Hongjoong relaxed perhaps too visibly

“Yeah if you need a guy to have your back he’s got it no question”

“Anyway if you don’t have any plans for the day after Christmas you should spend it with me”

If Hongjoong had been drinking something he would have choked

Even if he’d had plans in the first place he would have canceled them for you

“My day is wide open” he said “As is almost all of my break”

You smiled and his stomach did a flip

He wondered if it was ever going to stop doing that

He hoped not

“Mine too. If you’re bored, you can probably text me and I won’t be doing anything”

Was it cringe that he was now looking for technically his second Christmas present for you?

Yeah maybe but that was his lifestyle now

To quote N.Flying’s Lovefool “if they call me a lovefool it’s okay as long as it’s for your sake”

Even if you didn’t see him that way that was A-Okay

Anyway he found some cute little math-themed trinkets like pi earrings and a right triangle pin that said “I’m always right”

Because actually who are math teachers if they don’t like puns

And the morning after Christmas Day he wrapped them up all nice for you

And he got ready to meet you at a little restaurant you now frequented together

But this was actually like the first time he was meeting you on a whole day off so he had to figure out how to dress not like a teacher but still kinda nice

He had no idea

All of his pants were teacher pants

His shirts? All teacher shirts

He was way too good at dressing for his job

So he wore jeans instead of his usual khakis and hoped that was different enough?

He also layered one of his graph paper teacher shirts with a plain t-shirt underneath and didn’t button it up

He looked himself up and down in his mirror, trying different poses to make sure he looked like a Normal Guy

In the end he decided his hair was the only issue

He only knew how to style it in a teacherly fashion

And leaving it unstyled wasn’t an option

So he looked up some tutorials on some easy styles but he just could not see himself as anything other than a math teacher

So he gave up and just prayed that he looked okay

You looked perfect of course

The difference was subtle in theory but the way you dressed, the way you did your hair and makeup, it made for a world of difference

Oh you looked so gorgeous he was never going to get over it

Your eyes practically sparkled when you met him out front and man he thought before that he couldn’t be more in love with you but he was wrong

You did seem a little more awkward today than usual and he couldn’t figure out why

Like you almost seemed nervous

What for? It was just him

You got your food and he suddenly remembered the gifts in his pocket

“Oh!” he exclaimed, pulling them out “I know I gave you the blanket a few weeks ago but I found these and I knew you had to have them. Merry double Christmas?”

You covered your mouth to hide your laughter and your bite of food

“That’s so funny because I found something for you too”

And you pulled a little package out of your bag

Down bad wasn’t even a good descriptor anymore and neither was head over heels like there had to be a stronger silly description of being in love and if there wasn’t it would have to be invented for him

You had found him a shirt that said “Math is hard. So is life. Get over it.”

(Tbh an actual shirt that I own)

And he promised you he would be wearing it the day you all got back from break

As for his silly little gifts you adored them

You put the pi earrings in immediately and started brainstorming what do do with the other things out loud

He could not have been happier with himself

And then you caught him staring at you

You paused in your excited little ramblings

He sat up a little straighter, wondering what to say next

But you smiled and looked down at your plate

“You’re pretty cute, you know that?” you told him, unable to meet his eyes for more than a second

In front of you, his first instinct was to deny the possibility and he followed it without thinking

“Eh, no I’m not—not in comparison to you, anyway”

Hmm if he wanted to keep his feelings secret then that was not the thing to say

But you deserved to know it

Not just cute but beautiful

Heartstoppingly so

You took the compliment well anyway

“Have you ever thought…” you began, trailing off

You watched him as he waited for you to continue, his eyes wide and curious

“Never mind” you dismissed with a casual wave of your hand

“No hey what were you going to say?” he asked

“Nothing I just had a weird thought for a second”

“No no come on! You know I wouldn’t judge you for anything”

You hesitated again and he could see that same nervousness he’d noticed before

“Have you ever thought…I don’t know” you put your elbows up on the table “of us as more than friends? Like dating maybe?”

Once again he was going to be very upset if his alarm clock went off now

But even if this was a dream, there was no harm in saying it out loud

“Every day since the day I met you” he answered honestly

You blinked like you didn’t believe him

“You’d better not be joking because I mean this like I’m risking our whole professional relationship here—”

And then he realized

You literally had no idea about him

Genuinely no clue that the whole school knew exactly how you had him wrapped around your finger

Except you

“—on the slightest chance that you might feel the same way—”

“Hey” he stopped you softly “I would never joke about how I feel about you”

Embarrassment began to set in for both of you

“Seriously,” he said, holding back a laugh, “you can ask any of my students, any of the teachers. I think you were the last one to find out that I have a massive crush on you”

“Oh no you’re kidding!” you exclaimed, your hands coming up to hide your face

“I really wish I were—Wooyoung has two rounds of bets going with the teachers about when and how we would end up dating. It’s just about me though—I don’t think anyone else knew about you”

You buried your face further in your hands

“That is so embarrassing” you whined “Seriously I might kill Wooyoung when we get back from break”

“I’ll help you” he promised

You ended up deciding to tell the other teachers on account of the bets they had placed on you

But you asked them not to tell the kids

Hongjoong was comfortable dealing with them at this point and he didn’t see the point in subjecting you to the attention he got about it

Speaking of the bets

No one won any of them technically

The two categories were before/after Christmas break and you notice/he confesses

And since you confessed during Christmas break well

As tempting as it would have been to say that you two deserved the money

(Especially on those teacher salaries)

You just made Wooyoung give it back to everyone who had put money down

And honestly? Very little about your at school dynamic changed

The kids still teased Hongjoong every day about his obvious soft spot for you

But he didn’t care because he knew better than they did anyway

You did actually start to notice now that kids were gossiping about you and Hongjoong

And it was really funny actually

Especially when he stopped by your classroom and the kids went dead silent watching you

Or when you left his classroom and you heard the kids explode with their weirdo little preteen comments from just outside in the hallway

Wooyoung insisted on telling you about every time you were mentioned in his classroom

This included the story about the girl rejecting a boy because quote no one can like anyone as much as Mr. Kim likes Miss (L/N) enquote

And you about died from laughter and embarrassment

Because how had you missed every single sign thrown your way??

It was so obvious now that you were dating him and you knew why he spent as much time as physically and contractually possible in your classroom

Because like I said very little about your at school dynamic changed

He still treated you almost exactly the same way

Except now if you were having a bad day he could hug you and kiss you on the head and tell you that everything would be okay and you were a good teacher

And if he got cold he could come to your classroom and have you sit on his lap while you shared your blanket

You were very very careful with any displays of affection by the way like it was only behind a locked door that you would even dare

Because firstly unprofessional

A literal breach of the code of ethics more likely than not

And secondly what if the kids saw you???

The other teachers were whatever like you didn’t really want them to walk in on you either but at least they were other adults

But the kids??? 

There were already too many rumors flying around the school about you and they did not need a even whispering of confirmation

The end of that came of course when you got engaged like a year or so later idk and you showed up to school with a ring on your finger and the kids went wild

“Mr. Kim she has a ring!!!”

“Mr. Kim what are you going to do?? She’s gonna get married!!”

“Mr. Kim you must be heartbroken”

You had prepared for this together

You had known it was coming so you knew you had to be ready for the chaos it was going to cause

So you had decided that he would also start wearing a ring to match even before the wedding

So to all his very concerned students he got to hold up his hand and say in the coolest most chic manner possible

“And who do you think gave her the ring huh?”

It was like setting off a nuclear bomb of middle school gossip but it was so worth it

Anyway breaking the chronological flow going back in time because this needed to be the last scene

The cutest change with your at school dynamic now that you were dating was now you could exchange secret messages on sticky notes with the papers you traded

He started it by handing you a test key to check with a sticky note on the top that you assumed was a label for what the test was

But on closer inspection it was a pickup line

“The limit of my love for you is like the limit of 1/x as it approaches 0; it doesn’t exist”

So you wrote back on the same sticky note “well mine is like 1/x^2 and it approaches infinity so there” and handed it back to him once you checked his key

Not to be outdone he wrote you a new note

“Girl are you a 30° angle inscribed in a circle because you’re acute-y pi”

Oh that one was bad

You had to give him something worse

“If we’re both math teachers, how come we have so much chemistry?”

You handed him that one in between classes

And as he read it he had to disguise his sudden laughter as a cough because there were kids around and they didn’t need to be curious about what he was laughing at

His next sticky note had a crease down the middle horizontally

128√e980

You recognized it immediately but you folded it in half to reveal the secret message anyway

“I love you”

So you gave him back “I hope you like fractions because you’re my other half”

You stored all these away in a little file on your computer titled “Valentine’s Day Math Jokes”

Maybe for some future Valentine’s Day activity

But mostly just to keep them all somewhere safe where you could look at them any time you wanted

Without some kid being like “oooh Miss (L/N) whatcha lookin at”

Your favorite note from him was about as simple and dorky as they came

Much like Hongjoong himself actually

Simplify 2x+6i<2(x+9u)

First you distributed the 2 on the right

2x+6i<2x+18u

Then since there was a 2x on both sides, you could subtract them and cancel them

6i<18u

Then divide by 6

And the answer made you smile every time

i<3u

(so I know how I wrote this so fast actually. I just have a goal to write 250+ words every day and uh pretty much every day of the month of January ended up dedicated to this one. Someone said Math Teacher Hongjoong and I (graduated in December with a math teaching degree, student taught in a middle school for 4 months) went feral over it whoops)

Masterlist

[giveamadeuschohisownmovie]

I’m gonna be honest. The more I think about it, the more I’m believing that the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy could’ve been better than the Original Trilogy if the script was tighter (a lot tighter). But George needed to let other people handle the script and he needed way more help with bringing his vision to life.

I mean, just think about it. The OG trilogy was a fairly straightforward, good vs evil storyline. Jedi and Rebels good, Emperor and Sith bad. Amazing storyline, but fairly simple. In comparison, the Prequel trilogy is far more complex in terms of what it was trying to achieve. If you look past the shitty dialogue and questionable storyline choices, the story that George came up with deals with:

1) Duty vs. Desire (Anakin trying to remain a Jedi but wanting to pursue Padme)

2) Questioning the Jedi Code instead of just blindly accepting it as gospel. Because despite how much Anakin was struggling with his complicated emotions, the Order doesn’t notice. In fact, the Order encouraged him to bury his emotions, which we see led to disaster since that led him right to the Dark Side.

3) An actual attempt at more complex politics rather than just evil empire versus good resistance. For example, it’s a meme that Anakin made an argument in favor of fascism, but in the hands of a better writer, that could’ve been a really good moment. We get an idea of why the Empire would have its supporters, despite being the obvious bad guys. It humanizes the Empire in a way that it doesn’t make you sympathize with them, but makes you understand how someone could end up on that path. That’s more true to life than just evil people being evil. (Andor is probably the one Star Wars media that understood this, which is partly why it’s one of the best Star Wars content out there)

4) The hero is genuinely a tragic character. He’s a child prodigy who was freed from slavery with the promise of a better life. But as he grows up, he becomes frustrated with how his life is turning out. He’s powerful, but not powerful enough to save his mom. He falls in love, but can’t be with Padme since it’s against the Jedi Code. Obi-Wan looks over him, but Anakin doesn’t feel he’s respected. The Order assigns him dangerous mission after dangerous mission, but he doesn’t get the rank of master. Anakin’s arc is about a man who feels like he’s not in control of his life (which is doubly sad when you remember he grew up in slavery) and, in his lowest moment, turns to a man who claims to be able to give Anakin everything he’s ever wanted. And that becomes his downfall since he ends up losing way more than he gained.

I’m sorry, but, that storyline is way more interesting than Luke and Leia’s story. No offense to Luke and Leia, but their dad’s story sounds like a Shakespearean tragedy. What messed it up was that George Lucas needed someone else to write the script.

[honeybewrites]

Proud of Tag

Wow I got a writers tag?!?! Thanks @kaylinalexanderbooks for the tag!!!! I got a little too excited to see that notification haha

Rules: post an excerpt you are proud of

Soooo I've never actually shared any of my writing. A spent a tad too long looking through my writings over the years. This is one I'm particularly pleased with, mostly because I finally nailed down (vaguely, this is still a first draft) how I want two characters to meet. So enjoy!!

P.S. I tried to get everything I could think of with the CW's, but if I missed something or another label would be better, please message me so I get it changed!

CW: condition, referenced physical abuse/torture, referenced blood and injury, referenced temporary death and resuscitation

The projections suddenly disappeared, vanishing like ghosts. Taking off the headset, there was no one else in the training cube. She knew better than to think it was a malfunction. No. Her training had been stopped for a reason. Taking off the rest of the gear, she set everything aside, standing and waiting in the center of the small room. Hands clasped behind her back. Staring ahead mutely. Waiting for whoever would deliver her next orders. Two minutes later, she heard Master Gerd's footsteps. Followed by another pair. The steps were heavy, long strides. Highly likely to be another male, though not a Master she was familiar with. The door to the cube opened. Master Gerd walked in, followed by a man. He was tall. Well built. Not as old as Master Gerd, but at least middle aged. Suntanned skin, white and gray shoulder length hair. A goatee completed the look. He didn’t wear the standard Mors black suit, but his clothes were certainly expensive and protective. The intricate knife on his belt and bulging bag with the Mirralian government insignia told her he was a respectable figure. One that was well above herself. But his eyes… they were like brewing storm clouds. Dark, dark gray, with a hint of white lightening when the light hit them right. Only there was no ferocity in them. They were gentle. Like soft rain in early spring. It was odd, to see that gentleness in a man’s eyes. What was more strange, was the fact he smiled upon entering the room. One that reached his eyes. Perhaps there was something wrong with him. What man would smile upon seeing her? Other than a perverted one she was tasked with seducing. Though his smile didn’t look like a perverted one. “She’s efficient. Loyal. Well trained and obedient. She won’t be near as difficult as your last Asset,” Master Gerd said to the man before turning to her. “Due to your increased injuries and… questionable mission tactics, you are being assigned a field handler.” She had become more careless in her missions. Leaving more messes and bodies behind. Coming back bloodier each time. Master Gerd had been growing more frustrated with it. Especially over her lack of tidiness. He’d said as much. Repeatedly. He couldn’t punish her directly for it, since she completed her missions effectively, but that hadn’t stopped him from finding other things to punish her for. The message was still clear. The momentary death and reviving needed after her last mission must have been the final straw. Though assigning her a field handler seemed a bit… unorthodox. She had grown more messy, true, but her completion rate had skyrocketed. She was completing missions normally reserved for squads or duos, alone, well under the allowed timeframe. Especially compared to before… no. Those weren’t things she should be thinking about. It wasn’t her place to question orders. She was trained to follow them. Nothing more. "This is Master Ronan Airvix. you will treat him with proper respect and you will obey his orders, just as you do mine. If I hear of disobedience, there will be serious consequences, is that understood?" "Yes sir," she said listlessly. "You've been assigned another mission. Debrief and objective has been sent to your comm. Airvix will be accompanying you. You leave tomorrow morning." "Yes sir." He turned back to Master Airvix, waving a hand in her direction. “Do what you will with her until then. She’ll comply. Though try not to do too much damage to her before departure.” “Her file has been sent to you. If you have further questions you may ask Healer Asurr, myself, or her if you wish. Though she likely won’t know the answers you want. She’ll need three hours before departure to prepare her gear and stop in Physical for her pre-check.” "Right, got it." Master Gerd left without another word. The door didn't make a sound as it closed behind him.. Leaving Master Airvix and her alone. She kept her position. Waiting for his instructions.

“I know Gerd introduced me as ‘Master Ronan Airvix’ but you can just call me Rage.” He chuckled a little. Hand rubbing the back of his neck. “Most people do. Nickname I earned myself in healing school. Uh, what else? Oh, I’m Mirralian, certified healer, and uh, I’m blind. Wasn’t born blind, result of an accident, but I’ve learned to live with it. Doesn’t stop me from ‘seeing’ and it’s helpful at times. What about you? What’s your name?” “Asset 703,” she said.  She wasn’t quite sure what to make of his little rambling about himself. Perhaps he just liked to hear himself talk? No. That didn’t seem to fit his personality. It seemed to make him uncomfortable if anything. So why would he bother? "Well yeah, I know your number, but what's your name?" "Asset 703," she repeated. This must be some kind of test. She didn’t have a name. Or at least, she wasn’t supposed to. Her number was all the identification she needed. Master Gerd had punished her many times when he caught her responding to a name.  Her name would never be spoken aloud again. It would remain buried deep in the crevices of her mind. Right next to the memories of them. She would keep those memories safe. Far out of the reach of the Mors. It was the only thing she had left to remember them by.  “Don’t the other Assets call you something else?” He asked. Brow scrunched. Frowning. “I’ve seen them call each other names before.” Many of the Assets did have names for each other. Most of the Masters didn’t mind. Even Master Gerd turned a blind eye to it.  But they were just Assets. She was different. Worse. So much worse. The other Assets didn’t talk to her, nor she them. If she was assigned a mission with them, they avoided her. She returned the favor and kept to herself. She was well aware her presence was unnatural. Disorienting. Unfavorable. There was no need for her to be close with anyone. She had learned her lesson on relationships well. Never again.

Umm, let's see... I'll tag @themboty @ink-enchanted @charlesjosephwrites @minamaybe @halfbakedspuds

[icypantherwrites]

hi hello I normally do asks anonymously but I wanted you to personally know

I found you a couple days ago i believe and oh my god. Are you like, an angel?? Dude. You’ve written over 200 works, nearly 90% of them being in the vld fandom. I feel like no one gives you enough credit for your contributions to fanfic, especially in the vld fandom. I can’t even begin to think of 20 ideas for a fanfic. You’ve had probably over thousands. You are genuinely one of the most talented writers I’ve ever come across. I love how you write angst and pain. It’s done so in a way that can hurt you so deeply yet leave you wanting for more. Just perfectly encapsulated what it is like to read angst because you did it. in a way that clearly shows you understood the assignment. I love how you write yearning and internal turmoil. I love how you write rising tension and build up anticipation. It leaves me on the edge of my seat every time and I get so excited every time something super important happens. I love how you write each of the characters’ relationships with one another. It can literally feel so personal to see them interact. my favs of yours are probably keith and shiro <and> lance and hunk. You are such a great writer and I don’t think you get enough recognition or appreciation because oh my god. Every time I read your works it is just masterpiece after masterpiece. And the way you end them?? You know just how to make an ending to a story so satisfactory. Because you write the beginning to be satisfactory. You write the middle to be satisfactory. You write every single chapter, paragraph, sentence, and word to make sure that the story concludes in a way that leaves you feeling content. I am genuinely always baffled at how godly your writing is. How you never get any credit where it is clearly due is completely insane. You have done wonders in this world, even if it just seems like a little corner of it. You were here. And you did good for so many. You are so amazing and I don’t know how many ways I could possibly tell that to you. If you ever were to write an original work I would make sure to personally buy ten thousand copies all on my own. Because I know damn well that if you wrote it, it is going to be one of the best pieces of literature ever written. You are so. So. So so so so so so so so soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo amazing. And awesome. And cool. And great.

So much love.

You are incredible.

🩷🩷

So I would like to preface this response by noting that I've had regular asks closed for the last few months due to just a lot of negative feelings with the entitlement behind the asks, and anonymous asks closed for the last year due to various reasons but the most common one being trolls and hate mail. Following a recent livestream on my Patreon I kind of said screw it, let's just see how it goes again and opened them and so the fact that this absolute sweetheart gem of an ask is the first thing I get not even two days later is just... wow, thank you. I've only read this like ten times now.

I just wanted to say this comment makes me feel very seen and appreciated and all of the kind words are backed up by the fact I do indeed recognize your name (so I am glad you didn't submit this as anon!) as having popped into a number of my stories over the past week or so and leaving such sweet comments. It truly means a lot. And as an aside, I am very excited to see you (hopefully) back for the final chapters of Missing as (ironically) a lot of the audience went missing the last few ;p So I do hope you enjoy it and would love to hear your thoughts there! As you observed, it's definitely a bit of a rough go to put all this time and effort into writing and sharing my works and not really seeing a lot of folks engaging with the stories any more, but I'm still trying my best to post for as long as I can. And readers like yourself are the reason I do try to continue to do so 🧡

I also just wanted to highlight of this entire highlight of a comment the little bit you mentioned about how I end stories. Thank you. I strive really hard to not just 'finish' a story but to wrap up every tangent and every little loose thread into a pretty bow so nothing ever feels unfinished and it's not always an easy thing to do. But I've read plenty of stories where it just ends and it's like, but wait, it was so abrupt, it feels incomplete, and I don't ever want anyone to feel that way reading my stories.

I have unfortunately given up my dream of writing my own original novel as I've lost a lot of faith in my abilities due to the continual decrease of engagement and just feeling like nothing I ever write will be good enough, but thank you so much for the encouragement and the kind words. I don't think it'll ever happen, but if it does I'll for sure post a link to purchase my novel on Tumblr ;p

I could gush about all the little, beautiful details you wrote in this for hours but I will cut myself off here. But thank you, truly, for such a sweet message and kind words and I do hope to continue to see you in the comment sections of my stories for the little bits of sunshine you bring into my life🧡

[maeve-on-mustafar]

Wait, that's so interesting Brotherhood gets a bad rep? I thought the writer was one of the few writers who understood Anakin and was excited for his coming novel!

To be fair, I think the reputation of the Star Wars: Brotherhood novel specifically depends on what fan circles you travel in. The Star Wars lore dudes on YouTube love this book, and so do most of the Star Wars EU podcasts. Also, if you’re a fan of Anakin & Obi-Wan as a team, you’ll adore this book, as its very foundation is their relationship. The author of Brotherhood is Mike Chen, who is a proud fan of the Revenge of the Sith novelization by Matthew Stover, and it is very evident that Chen takes his character inspiration from Stover’s own uniquely intense “closer than friends, closer than brothers” take on the Anakin & Obi-Wan relationship.

From what I’ve seen, the criticism of this book comes mainly from pro-Jedi circles on Tumblr, particularly fans who dislike Anakin. I’m guessing it’s due to three main reasons: 1) this book is very pro-Anakin and runs on the belief that Anakin was always an unwanted misfit in the Jedi Order and always was very aware of that, 2) the book takes a more critical view on the Jedi’s involvement in the war and frames them in a more questionable light, and 3) this book is very, very anti-Mace Windu.

Personally, my biggest issue is with the anti-Mace stance of this book, as well as the argument Brotherhood makes that Mace Windu was one of the Jedi to always dislike Anakin. It makes zero sense to me, because I’ve listened to every interview with Mike Chen that I can get ahold of (I can rec some if anyone is interested, just ask me), and he doesn’t seem to dislike Mace Windu? He just noticed that Anakin is very formal and respectful in front of the Council in AOTC, and he takes this as evidence that Anakin never felt comfortable with the Council or Mace Windu.

It’s odd to me, because in AOTC, Mace is very supportive of Anakin? From giving him the solo assignment of protecting Padme to defending him to Obi-Wan to not even asking “WTF are you doing on Tatooine?” when Anakin FaceTimes him from there. Ignoring all of those moments in favor of concentrating on Anakin’s body language in the Council scene is missing the forest for its trees, IMHO.

But something the Jedi-Positive segment of fandom does that bothers me is insistently push this theory that Mace’s characterization is due to Anakin being an unreliable narrator, and this idea is proven false several times. First, early in the book, even Obi-Wan thinks to himself that Mace doesn’t like Anakin. Then we get a scene of Palps during a private meeting with Anakin basically saying, “Wow, Master Windu sure sucks, doesn’t he?”, and Anakin not disagreeing. There’s also a memory Anakin has of Mace getting pissed off at 12yo Anakin for another Padawan referring to Anakin as the Chosen One, and another scene of Mace Windu trying to spy on Anakin to see if he’s doing a good enough job of training the younglings, and another scene of Anakin making a fool out of Mace by pretending their communication line is breaking up, and it’s very clear the reader is supposed to be on Anakin’s side.

Crucially, what we’re missing is a scene proving Anakin is an unreliable narrator and showing us that Mace is a good Jedi that just doesn’t like Anakin, or that it’s not even that he dislikes Anakin, but is just fucking tired and stressed out because of the war. But we never get that. We just get perpetually angry and irritated Mace Windu who immediately supports Palpatine’s decision to send Padawans out to the front lines—which Obi-Wan objects to, and Mace overrules him. This is an extremely unflattering portrayal of Mace that is deliberately written to be so, and I don’t see the point of pretending otherwise. There’s no unreliable narrator here—Mike Chen believes the Jedi weren’t ever fully onboard with training Anakin and never truly wanted him around and uses Mace’s character to convey that point. I don’t like it, but it is what it is.

All that being said, if you like Anakin and you want to see more of his bond with Obi-Wan, or cute moments with him mentoring the Jedi younglings, or cute moments with him and Padme going on undercover dates, this is the book for you. Mike Chen very clearly loves Anakin, Padme, Obi-Wan, and the Anidala ship, and tries to write each of them at their best but still with room to grow. It’s evidently he loves these three but still has awareness of their flaws and wants to examine what makes them tick.

My review would be that Brotherhood is a 4/5 book, with the point being deducted because of Mace’s treatment, but other readers who don’t enjoy him that much probably won’t have that issue.

Also, paging @fleetstreetfatality, our resident expert on Brotherhood, see if they want to make any contributions or confirm or refute any of my points. Fire away!

[sallymareeq]

Midnight In Her Arms

Summary:

Girls are finally at Welton and Neil is Immediately in love, Fluff and romance ensue. Neil x Femme

Notes:

first fic, im trying but i, like all fanfic writers, wrote this past my bedtime on a school night so enjoy.

Neil still remembered that stunned moment in the cave, Charlie had just announced his article published in the name of the Dead Poets demanding girls be admitted to Welton. A fleeting moment of excitement followed by a rush of panic, of course, it's what every guy there wanted, but still. Charlie certainly got a beating for that one. But looking back now he really took one for the team, his article could have been the thing to spark the formation of the Welton Hall preparatory board, proposing Welton and Henley Hall have merged lessons. Nuwanda’s radical behaviour finally shook Mr Nolan into realizing the distraction a lack of co-ed interaction can cause in teenage boys, and like that, all classes in the high school merged to the Welton Campus.

Even still there was pushback from concerned parents of Henley Hall girls, resulting in a maximum of 50 girls joining the school of 400 boys. Mr Keeting had always been pro-merge, stating that “in order to appreciate beauty we must expand our knowledge and see with new eyes”, Neil had to admit he was happy about the merge. It would be interesting to hear poetry and ideas from a girl's perspective, it would also be interesting to talk to a girl, to laugh with a girl, to kiss a girl.

The first day of the merge only one girl was assigned to Mr Keating's English class, Jenny Maree. She was small and quiet with dark brown hair that had a slight auburn tint in the light, her rosy lips and evergreen eyes stood out against her smooth, alabaster skin. Neil wasn't sure why he noticed her so, it could have been because she was one of the first girls he really got to look at, but it also could have been because she was really quite nice to look at. Neil felt he finally understood what Mr Keating meant about appreciating beauty, he thought he could write an epic about the way he felt as his eyes travelled from her face, down her smooth neck to her chest, her hips, her thighs.

He could never tell her, firstly out of shame but secondly because he was sure she could never find him attractive, why would she go for him when she could pick Knox or Charlie or Todd. Still he couldn't help but smile to himself when he thought he caught her eyes flicker away from his in class, a light pink blush dusting her cheeks.

After months of classes and many easy conversations on the way to class, Neil finally realized not only how beautiful Jenny was but how insightful and profound her writing was. Listening to her smooth song-like voice recite observations of the romanticism of a flower's new bloom, or the tragedy of time, was like nothing else to him. He realized he may be in love when he sat down to write a poem for class and all he could think about was her, all he could write about was her.

He sat at his desk, a cool breeze blowing through the cracked window lightly ruffling his hair, he set his pencil down and hung his head back with a sigh. “what's wrong?” Todd questioned from his bed. “I can't.. Write” sighed Neil dreamily. “Well why not?” “I can't, stop thinking about” Neil stared out the window “Jenny Maree” “Jenny?” Todd smirked, Neil looked at him. “Fair enough, she’s really quite brilliant” “She is” “You should talk to her,” Todd added casually. “I already do todd, we’re friend’s, we walk to class together” “No but like- actually talk to her. Invite her for lunch,” Todd chuckled to himself “ooor a midnight stroll and some poetry reading like Charlie” Neil laughed before picking up his pencil again “you know that's not a half bad idea Toddy, but it still doesn’t help my poem” Neil huffed “stop trying to fight it,” Todd advised “just write your poem about her, then you can talk about it after class” Neil thought for a moment then wrote a title, Miss.

The next Friday in class it was time for the oral examination on their personal poetry piece. Charlie got up and read his short prose on freedom, then Knox with his Haiku on love, then Todd with a brilliant piece about train of thought, then it was Neil. As he stood to read his paper, Mr Keating winked at him and nodded assuringly, he smiled back and took a deep breath in, trying not to look at Jenny and her soft, sweet smile.

Miss Midnight in her arms, A moment to ourselves, Real and full and true. Everything is clear, Evergreen our love shall be.

He looked up as Todd smirked proudly, and Charlie gave him a sarcastic thumbs up from the back of the classroom, but all Neil could see in that moment were Jenny’s evergreen eyes, pupils enlarged with admiration. “A lovely poem indeed Mr Perry” chirped the Captain as he stood “i'm sure we all envy the ‘Miss’ for whom this poem was written” he smiled knowingly, glancing in the direction of Jenny. “Anywhoom, Miss Maree, care to share with us your splendid piece?” Neil watched as she slowly stood and walked, hips swaying slightly, to the front of the classroom. She turned and to Neils Surprise she was smiling at him. Once again her eyes flicked away and she began to read.

Heart Writing poetry is painful, when love is absent, Longing, pining, admiring, Birth writing from the heart, But in doing so they take parts with them, Until the heart is but a half, But if love can be found In another half heart And as they begin to beat as one They give life to something new The most profoundly unique piece of art life.

(ill add more i swear)

[inposterumcumgaudio]

Gemma Olsen?

Gemma, Gemma, Gemma!

Everyone always says they want Prudence DLC, but why would you want that when you could have Gemma DLC?

We only actually see Gemma for this brief moment, but her impact on the story is immense.

I will admit that on my first few playthroughs, though, Gemma's storyline was confusing to me. As it was, I thought these Doctors were taking her to Haworth Labs. They seem to work for Dr. Verloc to judge by the dialogue in Gemma's living room after this scene so that would make sense. However, we later learn that she was actually taken to Wellington Health. The actual order of events is that Gemma has escaped from Haworth Labs and just now returned to her home to find these Doctors waiting to whisk her away to Wellington Health.

Arthur has a cut line implying that Gemma was being taken to Haworth Labs (although he'd have no way to know that):

028i Looks like I've got another reason to go to Haworth Labs. And a really good reason not to get caught there.

That the final cut of the game has her going to Wellington Health instead I think also contributes to the popular but unsubstantiated idea that the rivalry between Wellington Health and Haworth Labs is anything more than a clash of personalities. Even still, the two organizations do seem to be somewhat cooperative in this case, leadership disagreements or not.

As for Gemma's relationship with her organization's leadership, it seems quite friendly. Gemma refers to Margaret as "Chief", Margaret's memos are casual and even playful (referring to herself as "headmistress" while gently chiding Gemma for taking too long to deliver her article on the Tunnel Rats), although she also expresses worry. From what she says to Arthur, Gemma's her only reporter that's worth any kind of damn.

Howeveur...

Margaret is also not entirely forthcoming with Gemma about her intentions. She sends Gemma to the Motilene HQ on the pretense of writing an(other, according to Peter Thump) puff piece on the arts and (sub)culture, but with a vague appended notion to look into rumors about leaks in the pipes.

It's difficult to say how much of that is Margaret just giving Gemma a subtle prod in a direction or if it's understood by both of them that this is really what Margaret wants to know about. Because for as much as Gemma loves to know things she's not supposed to, she also recognizes that none of this can be published and wonders how much she should tell Margaret... while it is, in fact, Margaret's secret plan to publish it.

You what though? Margaret gives Gemma this assignment on September 23rd, 1964, but Gemma checks into Haworth Labs Personalized Care Program on September 2nd. But she'd have actually had to have followed though on the Motilene HQ assignment to have all those notes about it and be telling her caretakers that the town is about to collapse.

A discrepancy in this game? No!

A couple things our patient notes tell us:

Gemma has a mother still kicking about. Probably? Possible this is a Coconut delusion or a misremembrance from her previous Joy use. Her house shows no indication that her mother lives with her. A mother probably wouldn't let you leave your work (with Downer shit in it) everywhere, tack up conspiracy boards all over the walls, and put typewriters in every room. Including the bathroom.

I do like to think, though, that the Crier that lives on the top floor of Thomasina House in Arthur's act is Gemma's mother.

And it's flown right out of my head.

By George, I think I've got it!

I don't know why you encouraged me, I'm rubbish at it.

I don't suppose you've got any ideas.

If I just had some inspiration.

If only you could just be a writer.

Is that a cliché?

It came easy to you, didn't it?

"It's easy, isn't it? You just sit down at your desk and open up a vein."

No wonder I can't write anything, look at this sink.

Nothing gets you ready to write like a little cleaning.

Out damn spot! Out, I say!

Shit you might say if someone close to you was a successful writer and encouraged you to try too because they love you and maybe you're old and should get a hobby.

The other thing of note here is that Gemma attempts to seduce one of her caretakers to bribe him to let her out. That could be an act of desperation, but given the playful nature of her own notes to herself and that the staff has also noted her as being manipulative and a saboteur? Spy shit! Love that for her.

Regrettable that we never see her plying these wiles firsthand. But if you wanted to suppose about it, there's plausible options.

For one thing, Gemma's got quite a few of William Godwin's seditious flyers on her study's conspiracy board. Surely then she attended one of his rallies. That's follow-up on a lead. Unfortunately, William's activities are simply one piece of the disjointed tapestry of shit going on around Wellington Wells. Remember when I said Gemma didn't have the whole picture and was trying to fit in pieces that were not part of the Verloc puzzle? You have access to William before you get to Gemma's house so that's another clue for you that she's got some red herrings in her theory.

Gemma also spent a lot of time in the partitioned company of Harry Haworth.

The cut lines I found the other day indicate that Harry, though apparently still obsessed with his phrenology, was mostly sane and salient. Yeah, he's sixty-four, but why not? What else has she got goin' on?

I suppose that means that the first patient who needs you to clap or she'll die could be Gemma rather than Vanessa, although I think Arthur would have a line about it if she was.

One last thing that I think people miss about Gemma is that she must be some sort of handy. She has a workbench in her greenhouse.

And there's Mechanical Bits in her hidden go bag.

Because that is what this is. This is why she came back to her home.

This bug out kit includes:

Mechanical Bits (for crafting Disposable Safe Crackers, Electro-Lock Shockers, Music Boxes, Polarity Devices, or Shortspikes - any of which would be particularly useful to Gemma)

Scotch (for bribing Constables)

Intimidator (a skill book on self-defense that she probably should have read beforehand)

And in her suitcase: 15 Sovereigns, a Rubber Cat Suit, a Tickler, and an invitation to the Reform Club.

Sally will soliloquize that the Reform Club could have helped her:

I almost miss going to the Reform Club. I bet some of them could help. And they never ask awkward questions. But I'd have to be Naughty Nurse again, and I'm just not that.

Well, apparently Gemma didn't let a tiny thing like giving a little slap and tickle stand in the way of her freedom (although that she has a Tickler suggests she's not into the punishment aspect). Whatever it is that they do at the Reform Club, Gemma apparently knew about it and intended to use it as her escape plan in case she got in too deep. Unfortunately she was intercepted before she could get to it.

As to what happened to her beyond that? We have the Doctors in Wellington Health's statement that she was "kept for observation" and this particularly grim scene in the Intake Evaluation room:

Although I have to think whatever Intimidator tactics you are applying are not as intimidating if you have to look them up mid-interrogation.

If you're an optimist though, I've got this for you:

The administration offices of Wellington Health's school have been converted into patient cells since they apparently can't find anyone to teach anymore. But the last one, Admissions, is empty. I mean, she escaped from Haworth Labs too. Possible that a handy Gemma scoured this room for materials and fashioned an escape from this room too.

She does write in cursive usually, but she has been known to do an all caps for emphasis. "BUT DO THEY EVER RETURN???" indeed.

[designernishiki]

ok gonna be real I’ve never understood the “daigo is like a son to me” route that the writers took with kiryu. they’ve never, at least for most of their time knowing each other, felt like they’ve had a father and son dynamic– an older brother/younger brother one sure, or maybe a young uncle/nephew one. because I mean? they’ve known each other since they were both kids and they’re literally only 8 years apart in age. in y0 it’s implied that kiryu played with him and babysat him more or less when he was around 16-20 and it just doesn’t feel like a Dad sort of thing At All. kiryu was also a kid. just an older kid. daigo was a little brat to him just like an annoying little brother while secretly thinking of kiryu as a Cool Teenager he looked up to and wanted to be more like. it feels way more like an older/younger sibling sort of thing or something akin to that and it only starts being a little more like a father/son dynamic some time after daigo loses his father and feels the need to fill the void– which he couldn’t even begin to do until at least ten years later because kiryu was in prison. and it’s not particularly in a healthy way either, considering. well. like I said. kiryu’s never actually been like a father to him. I don’t even mean that in a negative way in this case, it’s just literally not the role kiryu fundamentally had in his life (especially because their age difference is a good 10-20 years too close to be that of a parental relationship.) so idk. having kiryu say all of a sudden that he sees daigo as a son (especially rather than as family in some other way) just feels kinda. wrong. and jarringly unfounded.

I mean shit, even majima would be more of a dad-ish figure to daigo realistically considering kiryu basically assigned him to look after daigo for like. years. while kiryu just kinda left without any known plans of reconnecting at all. or even kashiwagi on a certain level because of how he stepped in alongside yayoi after sohei’s death. kiryu has barely been around, hasn’t really showed any interest in legitimately being in his life, and has barely had any deeply personal interactions with him since they were basically both kids. and as much as I think how long they’ve known each other and what they’ve both been through is a means for a familial bond of SOME kind, there just seems like no room or evidence for a paternal role being taken on.

at least nothing healthy in that regard; if kiryu’s like a dad to him then he’s undoubtedly a deadbeat one and perhaps feels like a dad to daigo in a way because daigo’s paternal model (his birth father) was also emotionally (and probably largely physically) absent and near-impossible to live up to. that’d at least make sense, regardless of how unhealthy it’d be, but it STILL really doesn’t explain kiryu saying he thinks of daigo like a son.

it’s just. it’s such a weird thing to have him say and I wish it was this confusing because of nuance but honestly I just think the writers watered their dynamic down to supposedly father/son because it seems more emotionally impactful for kiryu to say “you’re like a son to me” than anything else he could’ve potentially said about their bond.

[alethiaii]

Alicent stans sometimes say that they don’t care that Alicent has no descendants, but at the same time say that she technically does have descendants through Aegon II’s bastards, which is true. But I find it to be poetic that her only living descendants are bastards, you know, one of the things she hated most, judging by her reaction to Rhaenyra’s children. Alicent wanted her bloodline to continue being on the iron throne, and she failed. Her only descendants are bastards who were never recognized.

Saying that the Hightowers are still in power as an argument against the Hightowers losing the Dance doesn’t work, because the Hightowers wanted the iron throne. They wanted their bloodline to continue having it and they failed. Clearly they weren’t content with just being rulers of Oldtown. They wanted the Targaryen throne too, and they failed.

Targ antis are just miserable because even though the Targs are currently no longer in power they are still the most important family in asoiaf and super relevant to the plot, they also have the most content, while their own faves the Hightowers, are still in power but aren’t relevant to the plot, and are likely going to be destroyed anyways by Euron.

I honestly think that the Targaryen antis are more rabid lately because House of the Dragon is a show about Targs, and so they have trouble avoiding Targaryen content, and they’re upset that their irrelevant faves don’t get as much attention from GRRM or the general fandom. It’s not our fault GRRM likes writing about the Targs most lol.

Of course they're more rabid because HotD is specifically about House Targaryen and their drama that affects literally everyone else. Plus Hightowers trying their very best to be the top dogs of Westeros through marriage which lmao, that worked out splendidly.

I have even seen shit like 'Where is House Stark here?' Like hello, this ain't about them or Game of Thrones that comes later, this is a story within same universe, be quiet. And I say that as an ultimate Stark/North trash.

Hightowers were relevant for a hot second and then sank into the background again. Sure, they're rich but that don't count for much and like I said in a previous post, they're about to be kraken food. Can't wait for it to swallow House Hightower and those insipid maesters, good lord but do they irritate me so much.

And to be fair, GRRM can claim favoritism all he likes on the Targaryens, but I ain't seeing it considering what happened in GoT and what's happening in HotD. He says Daemon Targaryen is his favorite Targ yet the character I see in the show is a writer's doormat for wokemania and GRRM praises that like it's the shit.

The only reason the character has the most appeal of all of them is because Matt Smith understood his assignment and did his best with the absolute shit he was handed and despite his scenes being cut out. Pretty sure there's enough material for a whole ass Daemon movie. But one actor can't carry your show forever and it will show sooner or later.

[hlizr50]

I'm very excited to introduce this fic to the world!

Thank you @zelinkcommunity for Zelink Week 2023, which is what started me down this path!

This FBAA-based Legend of Zelda fic started with me wondering about Twilight Princess Zelda, and how I could pull from her stoic and serious character. Combine wanting to explore that with the knowledge that Zelda has been assigned a personal knight in Breath of the Wild, and my mind immediately drifted to From Blood and Ash.

And, thus, From This Moment to the Last Moment was born.

This will be multiple chapters, and as soon as I know how many, I will update the count on AO3. Also, be aware, the ratings and warnings are likely to change as this gets written. Any of you who know me as a writer know that I will likely get dark and angsty, but we haven't made it there yet!

Read Chapter 1 on AO3

Or read below!

Zelda looked down over the courtyard, her face a mask of stoic calm as the gathered citizens begged for answers. Were they safe? Would they be protected? Would things get worse?

All she could do was listen with clenched fists as her father spouted weak platitudes and made false promises that if they remained faithful to the crown, they would be saved. The princess could see the distrust in their faces, could feel the righteous anger billowing into the air like steam.

The people hated them; hated her. And she didn’t blame them in the slightest.

Zelda hated her father, too, though nobody could know. Every dissenting word was met with the heavy hand of discipline and the burn of the lash. The king had every reason to assume she’d been beaten into submission, her endless silence pulling her conscience down into the depths. She’d watched farmers whipped for the failure of their crops, soldiers brought to tribunal and sentenced for simply surviving when their superiors had ordered them into an impossible battle. All the while she stared, memorizing every name. Every moment. 

Would her people hate her any less if they knew about the list of names hidden away in the bottom of her desk drawer? If they knew she remembered every undue punishment and execution at the hands of her father? Remembered every citizen that died while she stood by and did nothing, under the king’s keen, watchful eye?

And now there was Ganondorf to consider, as well.

She didn’t trust this new ally from the desert, with his cruel eyes and wicked sneer. Her father told the citizens that he knew how to fight these monsters that had begun prowling the fields at night, but Zelda was suspicious. Did he know how to win because he was strong and powerful? Or did he know how to fight them because he was the one who commanded them? All she knew for certain was that the attacks had only become more common and more brutal since his arrival.

And then there was the matter of his obvious infatuation with her. Ganondorf would often corner her in the corridor, his sole purpose to make her as uncomfortable as he could. The first time it happened, she thought perhaps there was some cultural miscommunication. The second time, when she looked into his eyes and saw the darkness there, she’d gone to her father for aid.

And when she received a harsh reprimand and the threat of more extreme disciplinary measures if she displeased their visitor, Zelda understood that there would be no escaping the unwanted attention.

To make matters worse, she no longer had the comfort of her personal guard. Kieran had done his best, within his limited power, to run interference between her and Ganondorf. She appreciated that all the more now, since he’d been carted away – accused of being a rebel sympathizer. And all she could think when she found out was that she wished she’d known. She could have talked to him. Could have shared her opinions and possibly even have done something.

Now he was gone, another name to add to the growing list of senseless tragedy. And whoever her father appointed next would likely stand aside and allow the desert adviser to do whatever he pleased.

And so, the golden-haired princess stared down into the courtyard and took in the sight. She let herself feel the weight of the contempt that the people had for herself and for her father, allowed it to settle deep within her. One day she would harness it. She would make her father pay for the things that he’d done, and she’d prove to the nation that the crown could be fair and just and generous.

Until then, she wore her mask.

And she stared, with clenched fists.

And she waited.

[myboyknows]

Can I ask why you don't like the episode Destiny? The bloody eyes! The fight!! The gay subtext!!!

I really dislike Spike in that episode. I don't think he's out of character for his situation, but I hate what he tries to do to Angel and I hate watching it because I want to like Spike.

The Buffyverse vampires do a lot of terrible things and sometimes even do those things to each other or to other beloved characters, and I don't have a problem with most of it because they're usually evil at the time, and when a character is meant to be evil and they do evil things, I'm all in favor of. But when they're not meant to be evil at the time and they're horrible to each other anyway - not just in words but in actions - I'm personally not entertained by it. You know how a lot of fans don't like watching Seeing Red because of what Spike attempts in that episode? That's how I feel about Destiny. It's easier for me to forgive Spike for Seeing Red because he didn't have a soul at the time, but he had a soul in Destiny and so I can't make the same excuse for him. I just want him to be better than he is. (And he does get better later, and I understand that it's the sort of thing that takes time. It took some time for Angel after he got a soul as well. But we had time for Angel to get better because it was all done in flashback and we don't have the same kind of time to spend on Spike since it's the present, so I selfishly want him to be a better person right now.)

Honestly, AtS is my favorite show of all time but I have a hard time with the first half of season five. A lot of it is hard for me to watch in the same way that season six of BtVS is hard for me to watch - because the main character is in a bad place emotionally due to external factors and then there's this particular side character hanging around making it worse. Spike starts getting the kind of post-soul character development that makes me really like him in the episode Damage, and after that I'm genuinely glad to have him on AtS, but before that, I don't really enjoy him there (except while soulless, when it's fun for him to be a jerk). That's why pretty much all my spangel fics are either set before both souls or set in that tiny sliver of time post-Damage but pre-A Hole in the World, so it can be the ensouled version of Spike that I do like and also Fred can be around.

But really, this is just a testament to the good writing of the show! Because Spike is meant to antagonize Angel in the first half of the season, so my not liking him during that time is proof that the writers understood the assignment. The fact that they can pull this character back from when he makes me so angry in Destiny and then make me really like him and his relationship with Angel post-Damage just means they knew exactly what they were doing. Or at least what they were doing to me.

And I do love the flashback scenes in that episode! Big fan of evil pretty dudes slaughtering innocents together. Their hair is terrible, but that's part of the charm. :)

[hesitationss]

people try to find the logic in dabi’s action to see if there is any moral objective when horikoshi is not a good writer for speaking on the infrastructure or whatever. like he wouldn’t know how to approach any sort if political ideology because he simply doesn’t know anything or has that kind if imagination. however he has watched documentaries about child abuse and has very sympathetic writing for any who suffer in different ways. with dabi we are seeing very painful acts of self harm because he wants wants want and despite knowing that his dad and “hero society” will never change he still wants to be seen and understood… but instead of anyone attempting to save him, he has it reinforced that he has no reason to live and that he is worthless and not worthy of saving. like yes revenge is a driving force, but that revenge is fueled by more than just being in a fucked up household. imagine knowing from a young age that youbwere supposed to be the specialist boy ever and your dad filled you w so much empty love and praise because you were supposed to fill a certain role and u accepted that because that is the only context in which you can imagine being wanted in. but you are a genetic failure and with the arrival of more siblings you are discarded, even punished for attempting to fill in the role you had been assigned for. and watching your younger brother getting overworked and beat knowing how fucked up it is to think “i wish that were me” because it meant that you had a reason to be alive… like that is something his siblings simply did not go thru in their raising… like yeah sometimes it doesn’t make sense but he literally stopped going to school when he died and was asleep for 3 years. the only formative years of education and decision making and how to be a person was while he was self harming and told he shouldn’t exist w his shit ass father…

[witchern]

also i genuinely don't know if the fuckery with the witcher netflix writers made its way to tumblr but over on twitter it's been a shitshow with the latest news.

namely that one of the former producers/writers of the show came out and claimed that some of the writers — IN HIS WORDS — "actively disliked the books and games (even actively mocking the source material)" which is just......what the fuck. to be lucky enough to work on a show with such a massive built-in fanbase thanks to the games and the books, to be lucky enough to work on a show with such rich foundations and lore you can pull from, only to mock that very same source material.....man. MAN. the disrespect lmao. i don't even have words.

and then to think of how hard henry campaigned for the role, how much he loves these very same books and games and SOURCE MATERIAL, how he's basically the walking embodiment of that "[actor] understood the assignment" meme because he genuinely DOES understand this world and this character to a degree that i rarely see from actors playing 'pop culture' characters......i'm so fucking angry for us but also for him.

anyway to cap this all off i just want the names of all the witcher writers who mocked the source material to meet me on the playground in 5 hours. bring bandaids and have 911 on speed dial, you're gonna need it.

[notverynymphetlike]

In the Time of Chimpanzees

Writing means a ton of self reflection. Half the point is putting all or some or none of yourself, and at least trying to know how much of yourself is there. I think I self-reflect a lot, people say I’m aware of myself and my shortcomings and what would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, or will fix them. I don’t do any of those things, and I don’t know how to force myself to. I don’t know how to force myself to do things I genuinely enjoy, like going to class with really good professors. I don’t know how to force myself to do difficult homework. I know I should. I know I should’ve gotten dressed and went to see a friend from back home I hadn’t seen since graduation at Market Wednesday. Knowing what I should do should be half the battle, that’s what tests are, they’re about knowing what to do, and then doing it. I was a big reader as a kid, apparently the library was cheaper than whatever other options, and it was fun to hang out with my mom like that as a little girl. Anyone who self-describes as “a big reader as a kid” has probably had a phase where they really wanted to be a writer. To write books and be known in history. Then it fades. Then I wanted to be known in history. Then I wanted to be a journalist a la Lois Lane and Vietnam and history and labor movements and helping people. Then that seemed impossible. I was told for years that I was smart. That I should do STEM. I looked around and saw that no one wanted to do chemistry so I figured the job market wouldn’t be as saturated. I did well in economics. My essays, when I turned them in, had a lot of voice and sources. My math homework was complete, science concepts understood. I don’t know what;s wrong with me. I really really don’t. It can’t just be losing structure. Losing almost everyone I’ve known and being thrust where I have to be outgoing. I’m good at being outgoing even if I don’t keep up with the new people. My last, turned in, writing assignment was filled with voice, no sources because it was about an experience I had, how would someone not have voice writing that, and comma splices. He told me to consider a double major in creative writing. Maybe I am depressed enough to be a writer. To write about the sunshine rainbow of what I should’ve been here. I want to make people happy. I want to make the world a better place. I want to live well. I want to know what’s wrong with me. If someone read my shit in a hundred years in an english class they probably could diagnose me better than a school lmhc or my mother. I’ve always thought that being pretty would make people less mean to me. That I’d get a seat at the plastic table. Despite the head bullshit, I am pretty. I’m 5’ and hit 108 on a bad day, but usually ~105. I’ve got a 25” waist, 34” bust and 34” hips. My face is fairly symmetrical, dumb eyes that look turquoise when I cry and green in the sunlight, and full lips. I know time will take the full lips. My teeth are gradually becoming more crooked and yellow, I don’t wear my retainer and I think falling asleep when I’m actually going to fall asleep is better than brushing my teeth. My nose could be smaller, it’s not a little button, but it’s straight and not huge. I’ve got cheekbones, and lost most of my baby fat. I naturally toe the line of dirty blonde and brunette, so once I got the go ahead from my mother, (she puts the blame on dad for not letting me dye my hair, she bleached her hair in high school her mother was a hairdresser for a hot second) I lightened my hair. It dreadlocks even more easily and I recently had to grip and rip a lot of it and then cut the dead ends. The last time, and only since hitting double digits I’m pretty sure, I went to a hair salon for senior prom. I asked about what kind of hair I had naturally and the lady told me a thick amount of fine hair, so right now I do still have a normal amount of blonde hair that now holds a curl. Being pretty, if I am, in fact, pretty, has not fixed all the problems I thought it would. Being outgoing and a spectacle has not fixed anything. Last night someone put my shoes in a garbage can and no one told me, not even the pretty girl I didn’t know who must’ve seen someone put the shoes into the trashcan by her. The spectacle of going down the stairs into the pool wearing a dress in ~65 degrees only made me cold and cost me $7 for half an uber, someone pawing at me, and having to walk half a mile at 7:30 AM. Everyone likes feeling wanted, and the easiest way I’ve seen to get that hit is to be confident and fucked. If you’re being fucked, that person wants you. My parents were good parents. They tried their best. I can handle a man a foot taller than me screaming in my face, a man half a foot taller than me screaming at his car, and get lovingly annoyed at someone getting really intense about football. I get upset and shocked when someone white says the n-word, I graduated high school with a weighted gpa over 4.0, and only needed 3 classes to finish a general AA. I despise the field of therapy, even though I know that’s what this is, me trying to figure out what’s wrong and what to do, I just don’t have someone analyzing and judging me. I know it can help people, but we have brain scan technology, if something is wrong with the brain, just do that. I always need proof for everything to a very obnoxious degree. I had a really bad cough where green phlegm was flying out earlier this semester. I accidentally hit my phone with it, and saved the spit for when I went to the doctor to get it checked out because even though the cough felt constant, what if I didn’t cough in front of the doctor. My mom got me an IUD the summer between sophomore and junior year because I went on social media at the end of freshman year saying this guy had fucked me, and covid hit sophomore year. I took trig that summer too. We’ve known, for about as long as you can know, that I have ADHD. I still haven’t been diagnosed. My kindergarten teacher had to give me extra worksheets because I did them so fast and was distracting everyone else. My first grade teacher had to come up with a new behavior system for me because I was too talkative. I get along really well with people who have ADHD and are good with their coping strategies, usually meds. I don’t get along well with other undiagnosed but ‘know they have it’ people. Like poles repel. I talk fast now. I don’t really think before I speak unless it’s a compliment, I might forget what I’m gonna say and that would suck. My father, when I was younger, wouldn’t wanna listen to anyone else at the table. That does include my mother. I don’t have any siblings. Just now, typing it out, I wonder how he would’ve been if I had a brother. My parents were super young when they had me, older brother wouldn’t have been possible, and at the time when it was the worst that I can remember was mid-elementary, so a younger brother would’ve spoken just as, if not more, stop and start and lackadaisical as I would’ve, and he didn’t even wanna hear about my mom’s studies while she was getting her master’s degree. Her master’s degree in a topic she was passionate about, and found interesting. Most people like listening to that stuff, unless you’re working a job you hate, doing a bachelor’s you’ve stalled out on because you had a kid with that woman and you need to support them. The only bright parts of his day back then seemed to be meeting dogs. And that was all he wanted to talk about. Unless a customer sucked, then we had to hear that story and about how the person was a fat idiot. I eat fast too. I still enjoy good food. I internalized what was probably only said once, and said to many many children who weren’t so affected later on “Stop talking until you’ve finished your food.” They might not even have said that word for word. I talk fast because I wanna say everything, I push every syllable out as fast as I can, I want them to come out all at once so that the person can respond or get back to whatever else they were doing. I hate taking up time. I hated being so dependent for rides in middle school in high school. I never wanted to ask to try out for teams or anything. I had a ‘girlfriend’ before I had a ‘boyfriend.’ I got home and told my dad. I think his reaction would’ve been the same if it were a boyfriend, a weird little ‘ok.’ Like that doesn’t really affect him, why tell him? I seek to prove my bisexuality, I don’t think that’s at all unique to any bisexual. Girls are just way way more intimidating cuz like I’m a girl I should already know what to do, and then getting rejected would suck so hard. I don’t care much if a guy says no, not if it’s in an unserious situation. Guys are guys, they’re a dime a dozen. As I go out more, I’m learning that rejection doesn’t hurt so much if it’s casual and you’ve only known the person for ten minutes, no matter their gender. I get mouth sores the same as my dad. Pineapple has been a known cause. Now he’s a musician and rips people off on etsy. He sets his own schedule and has always been a bit of an insomniac. A conversation that took place 2:30 my time, 1:30 his, was about me getting herpes from going down on a girl. It was over text and perfectly cordial. If someone tells me there’s something actually wrong, I deny it like hell. I feel fine. I’m not one of those. The ADHD thing being one until it really started affecting my grades.

[inked-out-trees]

69, 44, and 25 for the writers ask

I need to get back to writing too, but in good news I'm getting a feel of character for one of them. Now if I only had a plot

we're doing it! getting back into writing together! thank you for the reverse directional asks i will do them exactly how you have asked

69. how do you write emotional scenes? do you ever feel what the characters feel?

if i'm coming into it Knowing that i want to write an emotional scene, usually there's music involved! i have a collection of sad and otherwise melancholy playlists (plus one that's just songs i think would fit well in those angsty last 3 minutes of a tv show episode before the cliffhanger) and they tend to serve me well; if all else fails i'll find the most recent mood-fitting song i've been repeating lately and loop it forever. (most recently has been doctor eleven by dan romer. was the only thing i listened to for my crw class submission and personally i think it turned out swell.)

as for feeling the characters, i don't think so? a lot of the time what i feel when i'm writing is just joy from writing, vague evil sentiment, or if it's Really A Lot To Handle, there'll be like, an ache. occasionally i do make myself cry but that's mostly for personal or original things, and less for fanfic. unless it's the annie chapter of bean's beans. but typically i am somewhat detached, which is actually kind of impressive considering my propensity for imprinting on literally everything. huh! i learn something new about myself every day.

44. any writing advice you want to share?

man i never know if there's any sort of sagely things i do that could be passed off as wisdom but. the best piece of advice i've read (on tumblr too i think) was that if you're stuck, it's possible that the problem is actually a couple lines back. usually i look between three paragraphs and half a page up to see what different choices i could make, and that tends to solve my problem more often than not. kind of magic, that.

in other sort of throwaway bits, i always start a fic creation process by opening a doc and just rambling onto it. no proper prose, just as though i'm having a conversation with the empty page. it's helpful both to get my ideas in order and to have a place to come back to if need be - it's easier to toss the ball around if the net's already there, yknow? also, if for some reason microsoft word isn't doing it for me, i find fighter's block to be good for dumping out words, and zenpen has carried me through several terms of creative writing assignments and also poetry so take that as you will.

25. what's your revision or rewriting process like?

would you laugh at me if i said i don't edit my fics. this is not necessarily true in that i don't consider what i post to be rough in any way, but when it comes to fic especially i'm a big first-one-done kind of guy. that being said: i reread my work a lot. a lot a lot. and often times i will pick up little things that need fixing, line edits or weird repetitive things, so i do find it helpful. also the read-aloud function on word has been great to me. and i make frequent use of the comment function in word, which has been exceedingly useful when it comes to the fact that i haven't yet figured out the whole timeline of fixed point so some of the dates are just "FIGURE THIS OUT LATER" and "IS THIS TRUE?".

and of course sharing with other people :) coming from creative writing seminars i've realised (? finally understood? i don't actually know how much of an enlightenment it was but it was something) how useful it is to get someone and just say, hey, tell me how you interpret this, are there any questions you still have, god forbid did i leave any gaping plot holes. this comes in especially handy because in MY brain i know all the answers, and sometimes they forget to worm out onto the page. this again has just happened in my current seminar, so rest in peace to the quest plot i tentatively thought i could maybe go without describing (for wordcount's sake) but apparently not. it is cool and fine.

anyway happy tuesday and also thank you!