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#I was never meant to be born
sp00kysk3lly · 10 months
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This is what happens when your GP/the Local Mental Health Teams refuse to help you twice in four months!!!
It’s all your fault! Am I allowed to get help now?!
Soon it will be too late and it will be ALL YOUR FAULT!
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The urge to kidnap her & rape her in the woods. Chained against a tree & split open on my cock. The screams in pain drowning out all the pathetic cries for help. Carving our initials inside of a heart on, “our” tree afterwards so everyone knows what a sweet couple we are. 🔪🌹
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digitalgirls · 19 days
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i think itzy should be allowed to shoot people
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fluffypotatey · 3 months
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Hello hello, S5 ep 9 let's-a-go! Warning, this one is BRUTAL. QXT: Macaque, what are you doing! M: Xiaotian, stop! You don’t need to do this. QXT: I do need to do this! M: I did tell you before to make your own choices, but this isn’t the way Xiaotian! QXT: You don’t understand. If I don’t do this, everyone will be done for! Everything will be destroyed! M: It doesn’t always have to be you! There’s always another way! QXT: But this is the only way! M: That’s not true. You don’t get it! Nines: Who says…*interrupts/traps* ...he doesn’t get it? Not bad. Who taught you that trick? Who did you make a deal with? M: What deal? Nines: Well, that’s not important. Everything’s ending soon anyways. The Harbinger of Chaos knows his mission. Only by sacrificing himself will you all be able to live. Nines is a real piece of work, making it seem like MK has a choice. That he doesn't care what he does, okay bud. Says that he's tired of being controlled by others LOL. Oh, the irony is enough to make this EP taste metallic. Tired of humans locking themselves in cages, ignoring chaos and destiny, etc. The quiet, seething way Macky asks "what deal?" almost seems guarded. Haha, perhaps he knows. MK saying "not this time" feels like a parallel to another episode, but I can't put my finger on it. Maybe something Wukong said? Yeah, that sounds right. "Sorry bud. Not this time." Yeah, S3 no? Wasn't there something like that?SWK: Xiaotian, no! Macky, watching this: *sighs* Even if this doesn’t work, I still gotta give it a shot. HELLO SIR YOU TOTALLY KNOW WHAT IS UP WITH YOUR WEIRD POWERS HUH? I'm skipping some parts, mostly the gang and Nine bc this ep is loaded, but note the way Mac's shadows infiltrate and surround the midsection where the power core usually is. SWK: Huh? What? My boi just turned himself into a shadowy nuclear bomb. I don’t like his prospects for the next season. Nines: You- what did you do? Why have I been separated from the chaos? I- I can’t feel it anymore! What did you do?! *screams lungs out as Macky gasps for breath on the ground.* HELLO MACKY IS MY POWER STEALING HC TRUE???? AYOOOOO Nine's is really flipping here, voice going all glitchy, robotic and echo-y. SWK: Macaque, you good? M: What are you waiting for? Stop Xiaotian! It's all about the tentative way Wukong steps forward and asks and Macky is clearly unwell...Is it worse or better than he was down for longer after fighting possessed!Wukong so we couldn't see his half-lidded eyes/struggle for air. He got himself up in the background of the SunBurst hug in a way that could be memed, but this? Nope. I brought it up bc I wanted to see if possessed!Wukong was holding back bc someone said he was re: laser eyes, maybe they meant him not using it until that fight, or the slow way(?) it charged up bc some part of him didn't want to kill Macky, idk. SWK: I won’t let you sacrifice yourself! QXT: Don’t stand in my way, Monkey King. Please. SWK: Not a chance, Xiaotian. You never abandoned me, and I won’t ever abandon you. QXT: Don’t force my hand, Monkey King. EVILLLLLL. JUST LIKE WUKONG SAID TO MACAQUE- don’t make me do this, Liu’er! SWK: No, Xiaotian. Don’t force mine. DOUBLE EVIL OH MY GOSH HE SAID THE THING AND HIS EYES WENT BRIGHT GOLD HE MEANS BUSINESS. They gave us serious scary Wukong FR.
I’m starting to see how things so easily went wrong for Macky. Wukong does NOT play around, even if you’re MK. Seeing him use the same spell LBD used to trap Macky on top of all this is making me LOSE IT.
QXT: No! No! SWK: There is still a lot I haven't taught you yet. QXT: Monkey King, please! This is my destiny! This is the only way! Let me just say I HATE the expressions Wukong has been making this entire episode. They're ruining me. This one too. SWK: Yes. You're right. It seems like this really is the only way to save everyone. QXT: Then- Then let me go! SWK: Nuwa, or destiny. No matter how you look at it, as long as we came from the same stone... QXT: What? SWK: You don't have to bear this destiny. Let me bear it. QXT: No! Monkey King! SWK: This world needs you, Xiaotian. Thanks...for everything. QXT: Monkey King! Stop, please! THE DRAMA FLUFFY THE DRAMA-! AND WUKONG IS CRYING AS HE FLIES AWAY- and then MK USES THE FREAKING SPELL. I swear everybody is trying to hurt each other and squabbling for the right of who gets to sacrifice themselves first and I'm FLIPPING. WHAT IS THIS?!?!?! This is what happens when you put two sacrificial morons with personal issues in a room together. SWK: No! Xiaotian! No! No! Stop Xiaotian! QXT: I'm sorry. I will be the one to bear my destiny. SWK: Stop! Don't Xiaotian! So anyways, Fluffs. We had all this angsty audio about Wukong crying/yelling if MK got hurt taken from Goku...and now we have to HEAR IT FOR REAL. And like, his VA is seriously good and I think I'll be crying for months if I heard that. I'm going to be crying to YOU about it and that is a threat. We'll cry together. I can kind of see Buddhist influence here since the cycle of reincarnation, while normal here for the characters, is actually the goal to "escape from." So to MK, it's not a good thing. Asides from how much angst Wukong gets from it. You would think it'd be like "oh I get to meet my friends in the next life" but nada, MK here is shook by it. Tho maybe it's because it's not natural, letting them live out to the end, but forcing it early?
OH MY GOD EPISODE 9
I TOOK ALL THE SUNBURST DUO SCREENSHOTS THAT MADE ME FERAL
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like…..HELLO?????? 911?????? THERE’S BEEN A MURDER
AND THE FUCKING EXPRESSION BEFORE THE FIGHT🫠🫠🫠🫠 I AM SOBBING
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[forgive me for the bad quality 🤧]
AND SWK SO READY TO TAKE MK’S OLAXE BECAUSE “hey, we’re from the same stone, so this destiny of yours should also be tied to me” AND WHAT IF I DIED???? WHAT IF THIS DIALOGUE STABBED ME???? LMK ANSWER FOR YOUR CRIMES
and the way Macky mourned Wukong privately while everyone else cried for MK (bc they assumed the Pillar repairing itsel meant swk failed) since he knew the Monkey King would try to take MK’s place i— 🫠
also Pigsy trying to change MK’s mind and when that didn’t work:
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SOMEBODY SEDATE ME 😭
THATS HIS SON!!!! THATS HIS LITTLE BOY WHO LOVES NOODLES AND SUCKS AT DELIVERING THEM AND SPENDS MOST IF HIS WORK HOURS LISTENING TI TABG’S STORIES BUT PIGSY WOULDNT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAY
🫠
also i think @/lunarwandering mentioned this in a post of theirs but Nines is so confusing lmaooooo like bro 🤨 do you or do you not want MK to sacrifice himself???? “i am giving you the choice he free!!! but i will also make sure to stop your friends from stopping me and you from operation Commit Die!”
the way he snaps at being called a monster 👀 Nines please share in a way that isn’t the Allegory of the Cave (like sir, that is Greek Philosophy come on) (tho interesting that the borders of the “cave” from ep8 looked like Nuwa 👀
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ans Nines clearly has some beef with Nuwa 👀 so. what’s up with that)
i have so many questions about Nines
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job applications: this is entry level! anyone can apply!
job applications: ...as long as you've done at least six months of highly specific work, or have this exact degree, or if you kissed a chicken during the last moon of 2012-
#im back in the trenches bois its Not Looking Great#gonna apply to this stupid thing anyway but#it looks like stockin grocery store shelves is the way im gonna go#unless i get Very lucky or manage to bullshit my way into this job#college isn't necessary but Man a lot of places want you to attend. no <3#but noooo instead i have to like. work. till i die. and never make enough money to live comfortably. sigh#sometimes i think to myself 'i should make video essays on youtube and see if that goes anywhere'#and sometimes i think 'i should scribble up things that people would buy and make a shop'#and sometimes i think 'what if i killed someone with a stick. would that be fucked up or what'#absolutely unprompted#AGHHHHHHHH THE BOXES WE AS HUMANITY HAVE LOCKED OURSELVES INTO IM GONNA LOSE IT#i was born to be a handsome decoration / weird little artist for eccentric wealthy people#i was meant to drape myself across a beautiful philanthropist woman's lap and doodle lil animals for her#while she rambles and feeds me grapes#yk. if i did make a shop i could have an extra section for small crochet things#coasters. small hand warmers. tiny shapes. simple cat toys. that sorta thing. quick and easy stuff#i could make them w/ specific colors so that they're subtle fandom themed#i literally have a coaster in damian's robin colors... a black/red SB square...#hm. thinking#oh shit i gotta work on that new commission sheet#OH NO. I FORGOR SOMETHING I SHOULD NOT HAVE FORGOR. I HAVE MADE A LITTLE FUCKY WUCKY#excuse me everyone i have something to finish
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holographic-mars · 3 months
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not to drop in your inbox with more of the killswitch stuff but i'm STILL thinking about it. they had no way of knowing what was going on. none. all they know is that ravage collapsed and started burning up and burning out. they had NO IDEA of what was happening- and though we only get one panel, it seems like ravage is the only one in that entire group to have been affected. like there could be some off-screen, totally, but we don't See any of them. we don't even see any of the other cassettes affected by it! she's the only one. imagine being soundwave and just seeing ravage Drop, smoking and writhing. the fear, the worry, the PANIC.
JUST. AGH. im so unwell ab ravage and the killswitch specifically, it makes me so sick. they don't have the resources to even care for her afterwards. the cons have been kicked out into the wilderness. they can't do much but hope she pulls through. which she does, obviously, but :/ my girl. no way soundwave is letting her out of his sight anytime soon after that. imagining him taking care of her afterwards is so so dangerous, he loves her so much :(
URGHHG HELP. HELP ME. HELP ME
I just. Ough. Soundwave only has so many mechs he loves and the horror of almost losing one of the most important mechs in his life? It would consume him I fear
Soundwave would absolutely keep her as close to him as possible after the fact. I know Ravage would need care and recovery after almost dying like that and Soundwave would not let her go for a minute. He doesn’t know what happened or why it happened and he doesn’t know if it’ll happen again. What would he do? If Ravage collapses like that again, what is he supposed to do? It’s horrible, being helpless and unable to do anything but hold her and beg for her to live. ACK. ACK HELP
Im horribly ill and they’ve consumed my every thought please send immediate help
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coldshrugs · 9 months
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there's your trouble
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elizabeth-dicewielder · 8 months
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Having emotions about Naminé again
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wonder-worker · 2 months
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Is it true that Elizabeth of York birth celebrated like she was a son? I have seen some historians say this.
Hi! Yes, Edward IV did celebrate his daughter’s birth as though she was a male heir (“a prince”).
While we have no contemporary reports at the time of Elizabeth of York's birth, we know that Luchino Dallaghiexia reported that the birth of Edward and Elizabeth's third child, Cecily of York, "rejoiced the king and all the nobles exceedingly*, though they would have preferred a son'. Wanting a son (ie: an heir) was typical for their time period, likely enhanced by Edward and Elizabeth's unprecedentedly controversial marriage, her very unsuitable origins and his own status as a usurper. The fact that he was described as being "exceedingly" delighted at the birth of his third daughter in a row regardless does support the claim that he would have gone over-the-top to celebrate the birth of his first legitimate** child.
Hope this helps!
*Bizarrely, I have seen several historians and blogs using Dallaghiexia's letter to claim that he was bitterly disappointed at Cecily of York's birth. I don't understand how historical reading comprehension can be so poor that "rejoiced the king exceedingly" has somehow been rewritten as the...exact opposite of that. With no self-awareness whatsoever. **His illegitimate daughter Margaret (known as Elizabeth for some reason) was almost definitely born before his marriage. We don't know the birth dates of his other two illegitimate children: I think the likeliest conception date for Arthur was in early 1470, but it's unverified; and we know nothing about Grace (which was in fact her surname, not her name) other than the fact that Elizabeth Woodville seems to have been very attached to her.
#ask#elizabeth of york#edward iv#queue#speaking of which#did I mention how much I dislike historians who state that one of Elizabeth Woodville's 'advantages' was that 'she was fertile'#and just leave it at that?#or dumbfuck Anne Boleyn stans who argue Elizabeth was 'safe' because she had a son (she was literally deposed twice but okay)#That is simply incorrect and a complete erasure of her actual - presumably difficult - experiences#Elizabeth literally 'failed' (so to speak) to have a son throughout her first queenship#She had three daughters back-to-back#Her first son with Edward IV was in fact born seven years into her marriage after her husband had already been deposed and in exile#It does her an incredibly disservice to rewrite her very complicated situation according to your own whims and fancies#Particularly considering the very unusual nature of her marriage and rise to queen (+Edward's own status as an usurper)#which meant that Elizabeth - like H8's wives after her - was in a far more precarious position than sonless foreign royal queens before her#And while the lack of a son clearly didn't affect her personal marriage (her husband celebrated their eldest daughter's birth#as though she was a male heir and was described as exceedingly happy at the time of their third daughter's birth;#they decided to go on a pilgrimage - presumably to ask for a son - *together*; etc)#That doesn't change the fact that they were in a very very difficult situation that having a son could have resolved/legitimized#Worries that may have intensified even more after 1469 when George of Clarence (second York brother) rebelled against Edward#I also suspect their lack of a son affected the nature of Warwick's propaganda against them during his rebellions#but that's a whole other topic of discussion#Either way: What we should never do is erase and rewrite Elizabeth's (and Edward's) very complex situation in the 1460s#in favor of an inaccurate but more 'convenient' alternate history#It's a little odd tbh because I HAVE seen such discussions for Anne of Bohemia; MoA; and Henry VIII's wives#who all struggled to have male heirs#But for some reason Elizabeth's situation is not even acknowledged - let alone discussed#funny how that happens#anyway#ik I went VERY off track I'm sorry about that
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chaos-and-all · 6 months
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cause you (Thomas) and I (Newt), we were born to die.
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auquaticmoonlight · 4 months
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ughhhh why is gender so hard to figure out. my body is like boom gender dsyorphia but won’t tell me noone about my identity
(I accidentally made an entire vent in the tags lmao)
#my gender dysorphia has been bad the past few weeks. really fucking bad#when I try to learn about my identity I get mad that I’m nowhere near becoming it or mad that I don’t know what the fuck I want to be#but I want to be more neutral and I don’t know if I want to be masculine because I want to look genderless#or if the two aren’t together#I hate this. I pick a label and there’s always something wrong with it.#demiboy is too masculine and implies I look masculine p#agender isn’t masculine enough#I can’t be genderfluid when I only want to be masc and neutral#I can’t be bigender when I don’t want to be a transman#nothing ever fits. and whether I find what fits or not the dysorphia is just gonna get worse#and my mom will think I’m a butch lesbian for years#and once those years finally pass she isn’t gonna let us leave Florida#or by then the transphobia would’ve spread across the county#and then she still wouldn’t let me leave#because I’ll always be too young. I’ll never have enough documented dysorphia.#I’ll never get on t. I’ll never get a binder or surgery.#bevause i look too feminine to be tranmasc.#because I can’t get hormones.#because my mom won’t let me.#because I haven’t had this for enough years.#because I looked too feminine before and thought that feminine things were cute#because I liked girls.#I liked how the outfits looked but never really asked if I wanted to wear them.#and when I finally did it was too late.#the answer was no. but they didn’t believe me#bc for so many years I thought because and outfit was cute or astethic meant you wanted to wear it. but I didn’t want to be seen as a girl.#I want to be masculine. I wish I was born male. but it’s too late for me to realize that.#now nobody cares what I want to be. anyone that does is across the fucking world.#anyways I’m reaching tag limit so I’ll stop this#vent
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alphawithanxiety · 3 months
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bro i am high af right now and somehow i’ve just realized im a trans alpha! that’s why i have so many omega tendencies! i haven’t actually transitioned my body at all so i still have all those omega instincts. i never once even questioned that id been born an omega because ive always felt like an alpha!! i’ve had the reverse realization about being trans lmao
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soullessjack · 4 months
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ive had a Lot of thoughts about the body horror aspects of jack but the one that sticks with me the absolute most is his blood. like when sam banishes the angels from the holding cell in 13x01. ack’s veins light up gold. his blood is physically being burned from the sigil’s banishing effects and it actually causes pain to jack.
or nick’s resurrection ritual from game night that needed jacks own blood as an ingredient—and the implication alone that any of jack’s genetic components can bring Lucifer back—when he sets a nosebleed stain of it on fire several miles away, jack can physically feel it burning in his veins again.
when jack is constantly puking blood and bleeding from his nose it’s a result of total systemic failure that he’s suffering specifically because the very cells that make up his whole body are falling apart and destroying each other, because he is something that physically should not exist.
the fact that he physically and genetically cannot be normal or separated from his other half, that any sort of ritual or magic against angels causes him physical pain, that he will always at his core be tied back to Lucifer no matter how independent he tries or wants to be, that he can’t even survive without the very part of him that is essentially seen/treated as a dormant evil rabies infection, is an Insane thing to add to a character.
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yellowocaballero · 1 year
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I loved NewWave and it's nominated for my top reads 2023, BUT THE JASON FICLET??? I thought it was going to be a light read but it hit me full force in the face because I didn't expect to identify so much with Jason! When I read your Jason it was like I was reading myself and I want you to know that I started reading it early at night and finished it at dawn because I constantly had to stop and cry because of how much my heart resonated with his! loved it
HI THANK YOU <3
I'm glad you identified with him! Jason is very much a character who's a little like me too. He's a born writer, and his way of using fiction to put the world in a framework that he can understand is very relatable. It leaves him a little out of touch with the reality of situations, but that's a feature and not a bug.
I can't relate as much to the racial undercurrent in the story, but I don't want to understate it. It has to suck for Jason to feel constantly compared to the blonde haired blue eyed 'perfect sidekick'. She provides something seen as valuable and ideal that Jason never could. Coming from Steph's viewpoint (and considering canon) the idea of her being unattainable perfection is deeply funny, but it's very real to Jason. Adding in Tim - who's identical to Bruce and comes from the same social strata - makes Jason feel like it's every man for himself.
That's what makes his connection with Bruce even more important, though. He's the polar opposite of Bruce in every way, but although Tim and Bruce are similar in a lot of ways, Jason and Bruce have a deep connection and understanding that Tim and Steph don't. They're both dreamers who make the world a stage, their need for justice comes from a place of great pain, and they love in quiet ways.
Jason's a special kid. Like Steph, he has so much value that he doesn't see. Unlike her, he wants more - he's hungry for it, that life with meaning and kindness. He's finally attained something good, and he's scared of losing it. He has so much to offer that he can't see, and the happiness of the story is when he's seen.
New Wave was my way of giving a character who's been routinely fucked over by canon and sidelined by fandom the spotlight. She's special and perfect and loved and recognized and important because...she's none of those things 'in real life'. I wanted to give that to her. Steph's a character I related to when I was her age, and I wanted to give that to myself too.
Jason came from a similar place. I do think canon & fanon are like...overly obsessed with him lmfao. There's a billion 'Jason joins the manor' stories and it's why I almost didn't write the story lol. But he's rarely given the chance to be a kid, one who exists in his own right - to join the Batfam out of his own choice, which is something bizarrely rare in fic. And kids like Jason are the forgotten ones, and it will always be Jason's dream to show the forgotten children that they're as much Robin as he is.
I'm glad it meant something to you ;-;. This story meant a lot to me too, which is why I can go onnnn about it lol. Thanks for reading and enjoying! <3
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mironovs · 21 days
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i hate how entitled I end up feeling bc this is my sentiment but . Really really resenting that my parents aren’t going to help me with school or rent or anything while they super can
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guess who had the last unicorn song on repeat and got stuck under a cat for a few hours. guess. you'll never guess
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