#I was on my first con since the pandemic and fell in love with at least ten people

[insanitysoup]

I thought I fell in love but it was just food poisoning.

[maplequeen94]

how did you get into cosplaying?

Oh God, I remember learning about cosplay in my Sophomore year of high school I believe. I immediately fell in love with the idea of it but it took me a few more years to actually do it because 1.) I was broke and 2.) my mom HATED cosplay so much when I first got into it for some reason? Granted cosplay was still very new back then so regular people didn’t understand it but her hatred of it was still ridiculous.

My first real cosplay was ironically North Italy from Hetalia. 😅 My high school friend’s mom helped me get my Italy wig and the outfit was thrifted.

But I didn’t truly get into cosplaying until I got my first job and started making my own money.

I used to mainly do male/masc cosplays back then because I wasn’t very good at makeup and was self conscious about my makeup skills.

Honestly my makeup skills just really got better, during the height of the Pandemic I finally got the confidence to really play around with makeup since I had nothing better to do with no Cons to go to.

Anyway I’m rambling, TLDR: I learned about it in high school but didn’t really get into it until I started making my own money.

[noididntdude]

How i got into the cissamione ship, an elaboration 😅:

- i used to be a fleurmione shipper but i felt like there's always something missing. even when i've read a lot of fanfics, for me there's just something lacking there

- there's also the famous bellamione ship but just nope, nope, it's not for me. i mean if u ship it that's cool, u're cool. i tried but i just... can't get into it

- during these times i had brief glances of the cissamione tags but was never curious enough. i found out that it's the ship between hermione and narcissa malfoy, draco's mom, and i thought 'huh?' coz the narcissa i knew was the one in the movie

- then this pandemic happened and i was so bored. i already read and re-read the fleurmione fanfics that i liked, i even tried the hermione x ginny and the pansmione but they're not enough and not my taste, so i decided to try and delve into the mysterious hermione x narcissa ship and wow! was it one of the best things that happened to me this year!

- i read the short fics first and boom! i was hooked. so i researched about narcissa malfoy nee black and i. fell. in. love. what an amazing character, the way she was described in the book- blonde, unlike her sisters; elegant and prissy, the picture of a royal pure-blood; protective and caring, as a mother; and oh so mysterious, in a most alluring way. like, you can do a lot with a character like her and the awesome writers of the cissamione fandom deliver. the long fics are beautiful pieces of art. they really sell the dynamics between the heroines and as i read the fanfics, i knew; this is what i was looking for.

Why i ship this lovely pairing:

- first, let's look at hermione granger- this wonderful, sublime, and intelligent young woman can show both some of the positives and negatives of youth. the pros of youth u can see in hermione: energy, vibrancy, curiousity, spontaneity, innocence, wittiness, endless possibilities as she have a lot of room to grow. now the cons: brashness, self-righteousness, ignorance(she still doesn't know much since she lack experience), tends to be emotional or moody, misplaced judgements, can be harsh with punishments, prone to depression

*now, narcissa malfoy nee black, this beautiful, enigmatic, and cunning woman can show some of the good and bad sides of being someone of her age. the good ones: maturity, being at her prime (she's a witch), levelheadedness, wisdom(from her family and her experiences), balance, politeness, awareness. the bad ones: can be quite controlling, compares her time with the now, rigidness, have a lot of things to look back to that she tends to forget to focus on the present and look forward to the future, likely to overthink, can be dependent to wine, regretfulness

- next, the house they belong to.

*hermione, the gryffindor is- chivalrous, noble, brave and determined but can be reckless, stubborn, and tactless

*while narcissa, the slytherin is- subtle, resourceful, reasonable and a good leader (she led her family out of the mess that Lucius put them in) but she can be pessismistic, secretive, vengeful and resentful

-there's also their aesthetics

*hermione granger's descriptions in the books and fanfics always makes me picture vivid colors. They can be bright or dark hues but they are definitely vivid. She's like this bursts of colors everywhere she goes, not just because of her physical appearance but mostly because of her personality.

*narcissa black's descriptions in the books and in the fanfics always leaves me with the impression of soft colors with underlying shades. narcissa's outward appearance is always said to be pleasing to the eyes but the usual expressions on her face are not good for the heart. her fairness is both an advantage and disadvantage for her. that's why she definitely trained herself to seem delicate when it is needed and look impenetrable when it is necessary. in the books during the war u can see her being soft colors as she preferred to be in the background, but when it comes to protecting her family u will notice her shades.

- lastly, the way they love.

when u're looking for a life partner, unconciously the one that you really examine is the way they care for others. it can be because u want to experience that special care for ur own or u want to learn how to care like that (like that person can or will inspire u to love like them) or u want both.

*hermione granger, being an only child, is a bit open with her love. her strong desire to prove herself used to get in the way but as the years go by she learned what she and others are comfortable with so she was able to spread her love more. people around her soon understand that hermione is open with her compassion. she is also fierce and expressive in showing them. she's also loyal and true despite the bits of betrayal. and she always put others before herself. hermione loves in a splendid way though it can be tough towards herself since she is the sacrificing type.

*narcissa black's character made an impact in the harry potter story due to her extreme love for her son which caused voldemort's defeat. from this, we can conclude that narcissa loves tightly. with the family she grew up in, that seems to be the best choice. their family obviously have their prejudice since it's their ancestors that suffered in the hands of muggles. their motto of remaining pure in their blood was definitely installed to the black children's minds. that's why narcissa held it in her heart that family first before eveything. she had to hold on to those who are already there for her and she had to choose wisely and carefully those who can enter into her personal bubble. She was taught that the outside world is not safe, they are people who will be against her and her family. she can't be too open with her affections or her enemies will use it to destroy her. so narcissa is very protective and can be overbearing. it can be tough for the people around her since she is quite selfish but it is still a precious way to love.

When u combine these elements together, u get a couple that has this endless chemistry, deep and strong connection, great story, and exquisite future.

their trope is that of needing to wanting and wanting to needing

from hermione's part it can go like this:

she will need narcissa since she will never have that closure from bellatrix and after the war the only capable and mentally stable witness of her torture would be narcissa, since draco have his issues too since he's young like hermione.

she will go from needing to meet with narcissa to wanting to be with narcissa, after getting to know the youngest black sister better.

from narcissa's part it will be like this:

narcissa, who for the duration of the first and second war only did what was necessary, can now do the things she wants to do after the war. one of those would be apologizing to the people who suffered inside their manor, specially hermione granger.

she will go from wanting to meet with hermione to needing to be with hermione, after getting to know gryffindor's golden girl better.

With regards to their canon partners this is what i can say,

hermione and ron have their differences but they don't really compliment each other that much. like, they can't and won't bring the best out of each other.

the same goes for narcissa and lucius. the latter obviously sabotage their family even though that's not his intention. these two slytherins have their similarities but it's as if they're just together for formality's sake.

hermione and ron, narcissa and lucius are like parallel lines when they're together. their similarities are only on the surface but they will never really touch each other.

while hermione and narcissa are like perpendicular lines. they touch, they intersect at the right angle. yes, they came from the opposite sides but when they finally meet they build something beneficial like a cartesian plane. this dynamic is what makes cissamione the best ship for me.

thanks for reading.

[therealraeweber]

Around 5 years ago I discovered LARP, and immediately fell in love. I spent a couple years looking for a larp to join and trying to find a friend to go with me. Finally, in March of 2020, all my efforts aligned and I was going to larp for the first time... except for the small issue of a global pandemic. Since then I've watched all my favourite content creators go to their local larps, while mine remained closed (rightfully so... there was a pandemic). So for years now, I've made larp such a huge part of my life and my personality, even though I've never actually gotten a chance to do it... which has been a great source of embarrassment for me. Until today when we got the announcement:

Larp starts again in May.

I am genuinely so thrilled. Every single thing I've had to look forward to for the past 2 years (my senior year school play, comic con 2020, high school graduation, first year university, comic con 2021, comic con 2022...) has been canceled or ruined in some way. It's so strange to now have something to look forward to again. It's a good feeling.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Please tell us more about Seventh Virtue–we need more? Also what was your general thought process for writing this right now?

Hello!! Seventh Virtue is the fantastical version of the Fostered series (which I’ve been writing for many years as you probably already know)! I came up with the initial idea for this project back in the summer of 2019, but knew I’d probably never write it because at the time, I couldn’t see myself writing beyond literary fiction (and also: I know nothing about fantasy :)) in fact I think I’ve only ever read 3 fantasy books from the same series and that was years ago)!

This led to why I’m writing it right now, actually! Earlier this week, my sister and I binge watched Shadow and Bone and it reminded me of this project (which I’d called Fostered But It’s Magic haha). I couldn’t help but delve more and more into the project as the days progressed, and so I decided I’d try to draft it. I actually tried to draft this project once before as a screenplay because I thought it’d translate better to screen, but gave up FAST when I realized I am terrible at screenwriting! With this in mind, I knew I wanted to write this project, but I’m also impatient, and know I want to write more things this summer. TBH, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my vacation writing another Fostered book (I planned to write something outside of this universe but apparently it doesn’t want me to??) so yesterday at 1AM, I came up with a very... stupid idea to write 10k words in one day.

I made this decision strictly for anxiety exposure. I’m exporting the vlog where I chat about this experience so I won’t delve too much into it. TL;DR: I wrote 11k words yesterday, and finished the first chapter (almost done the second).

So what’s the book about?? Honestly, it’s pretty loose right now. This is the pitch I wrote way back in 2019, which is more or less accurate:

After being tormented by nightmares of his ex lover, which result in violent hot flashes and an inability to keep up a job, Harrison seeks a magical intervention. When the clairvoyant he hopes will cure his strange ailment turns out to be a con woman—and his old friend, Reeve—he is thrown back into the past and forced to rekindle relationships he thought he’d left behind.

The main thing that’s surprised me since drafting is how contemporary this world is?? Despite being literally fantasy, this setting is the most contemporary-aligned compared to the rest of the series. Fostered book 1-6 take place in a sort of dystopia (which gets softer and softer as the books continue), whereas Moth Work and Feeding Habits take place in older-contemporary times (2006)! This book on the other hand I could certainly see taking place in some sort of alternate 2019 (because we :) cannot include the pandemic years :)). It’s also magnificently funny?? I feel really blessed to have just decided to write this book. I know about 10% of what is going on at all times, but it’s so fun to draft!

Something I didn’t expect initially was how big a presence Foster would have in this book! I kind of :) forgot about Foster in Moth Work/Feeding Habits (so sorry he is still an icon), and while I knew he’d be Harrison’s roommate, I kind of assumed he’d be a side character?? But no, he said, I am reclaiming my “Main Cast” title and you can do nothing to stop me. For the majority of what I’ve written, Harrison and Foster are living in the past. This is because Foster can ~time travel, but is incredibly ethical and sustainable, so he refuses to actually change the past/do anything that would affect the present/future. After a hex goes wrong and results in Harrison’s mother getting into an accident and eventually disappearing, Harrison’s life is in literal shambles. Tormented by nightmares and hot flashes, he is NOT living his best life. To cope, Foster agrees to take them back to the past where he can relive the last 5 days before his mother’s accident, thinking they will only stay there for that one week. But when they’ve repeated the same week dozens of time, Foster ups the pressure on Harrison to give him the okay to head back to the present. And when these “hot flashes”/nightmares get even worse, Foster tells Harrison about a “healer” who cured his broken wrist (so he could plant his tomatoes lol), Harrison concedes and they finally head back to present day so he too can visit this woman, who is actually their old friend, Reeve.

This book is SO angsty and hilarious! I think my favourite thing about it is that I get to write Lonan and Harrison falling in love again lol, which I didn’t exactly get to experience in the conventional way (the first time around). By the time we meet Lonan (who is introduced in book 2), he and Harrison already have a pretty complex relationship. This relationship gets even more tangled in book 3, and book 5 is where we get to see the first glimpses of a romance. Somewhere in this timeline, between books 3-5, they ~fell in love, but I don’t know when! I think most of that occurred off the page, so even I don’t know. What’s so fun is now I get to glimpse into that a little bit more. Their relationship is my favourite thing and always has been, about this entire series, so I’m so stoked to finally get to dabble with it from the beginning. All I really know at the moment is that they meet because Lonan catches Harrison being a thief lol so, so much fun tension already to work with!

I’m not sure if I’ll finish this, mostly because the prospect of writing an 80k novel sort of terrifies me?? The project is almost 12k at the moment, and we really have only scratched the very surface, so we’ll see! I haven’t written genre fiction in so long and I’m adoring this! It’s also so much less strenuous than writing literary lols so perfect because I’m still a little wiped out after my semester ended!

Here’s an excerpt when Harrison meets up with Reeve for the first time:

The shop’s name is The Lark’s Lagoon. When he enters, a string of freshwater shells clatter, like bells would. She is not at the table like she was in the past, so he putters around the shop. Some of the things she sells are silly. Plastic mood rings that are clearly heat activated and more suited for a child but marketed to women in their thirties. Ping pong balls with the inscription enchanted aims. Snowglobes with a miniature witch figurine who says I’ll tell your fortune when you shake it.

“That’s a bestseller.” Her voice comes so suddenly that Harrison drops the globe. It shatters across the floor in a glittery bundle. “So you’re going to need to pay for that.”

Harrison describing Lonan lol:

Harrison hated him. He was cute, but Harrison hated him.

Harrison chilling in his timeloop where he can’t be seen:

It’s harder avoiding birds than he thinks. Every time one spots him, his body lurches, magnetized in the direction of the apartment. If it weren’t for the trees he latches onto along the way, he’d already be back at the brownstone listening to Foster lecture him on not being seen and not exploiting his magic. So he becomes more careful. Checks every direction—up down, left, right, diagonally, whatever—until he is certain no one can see him.

Some Stressed Foster dialogue lol I love him protect him at all costs:

“How many times have I told you that you cannot be seen in the timeloop? I woke up with a migraine five minutes ago and when I went to find you, realized you’d slipped out. Do you know how my brain feels when you stretch the timeloop like that? It feels like someone’s cracking it. My brain, a walnut. You, a nutcracker. Not to mention, you didn’t even leave a note. What if you were robbed? Or murdered? What if they dismembered you and I had no idea?

so that’s this project! don’t see any reason to stop writing it, so I’ll make an update on it soon! :) let me know if you have any more q’s!

[laynemorgan]

I'm sure you've already provided it, but I'd be curious to hear your road to becoming a staffed writer. What first got you interested in it? Does it go back to school days?

Man it goes back far. I mean, I guess in some ways it doesn't. Since you asked more about what got me interested in where it goes back to, I'll give you the lest technical and more biographicl explanatin. My first goal was just to become a writer. I've been writing since I was a really little kid. I actually recently found journals from like the elementary and middle school days just filled with them. And it was never small scale, I'd always be planning out the whole fucking setting, how all the characters were connected, full universes. I made a fake fantasy. land in my backyard because my parents live on a lot of land. I called it Teleterania. I remember very little about it besides that that was the name hahah but I did do it!!! Everything I read only made me want to write. Everything I watched made me want to write.

Sometime around late middle school and early high school, I started watching more TV. I found soap operas and was OBSESSSED with their flare for drama. I found BTVS, Charmed, Smallville, Veronica Mars, OTH, etc. And all of those shows really got me actually looking at TV in a way I had never before. I got obsessed with their worlds and into their fandoms. I became the liek TV guy in my high school. There was even a group of girls I never got to really hang out with that would always call me over to their table to ask about what I knew about OTH stuff hahaha and 17 year old me thought that was awesome. Before my sister passed away, she and I took a road trip down to North Carolina to tour the One Tree Hill set. OTH was like the one thing that she and I agreed on. And it was so awesome. For me it was a first look at what the industry actually looked like, to see the sets and what went into it and all of that.

But I don't think my eyes really opened to actually WORKING in tv until college. I went to school for English Lit and Creative Writing in New Hampshire. My school had a great writing program and I was right at home there. i still credit my first writing professor who was only a grad student for really teaching me what I know about writing and editing and reading my own work for error and she passed me on to her favorite professor which was a hugely flattering moment for me. AND THEN -- I fell in love with PLL. And for me, that was really where shit started. I didn't realize it at the time and it wasn't even the show that did it it was what the show showed me. Through my tumblr at the time which had very little to do with fandom, I actually wound up running into Patrick Adams and Troian Bellisario. We all were always sharing each other's posts and at the time I was working for a journalist covering random TV out of a shitty free magazine in Boston doing work for peanuts. But I was going out to LA to meet up with a friend and we all decided to meet for lunch and they let me interview them for my magazine and stayed really rad people. They also helped boost my PLL photo recaps which I was doing at the time and those got the attention of the Director, Normal Buckley who asked me out to coffee and talked to me about my goals and what I was doing. He was the person who first really helped me understand that there's an approachability to the TV world that to me had always been this like magical hollywood bubble I didn't understand.

I went home THRILLED about LA, dropped out of college and set out to go to film school. From there, I hated film school because it was too technical adjacent, dropped out again, spent all the money I had on that move twice, and went home to boston broke and lost. I spent two years after that maybe more saving money, working in fandom, and waitressing while I went back to college online. That era wasn't super writing focused but it's where I found myself. I realized I was queer, I came out, I got into tumblr rpg, I met my fandom friends, I found tumblr fandom in a way I hadn't before. And then a couple years later I found tl100.

From there, the rest is kind of wonky. I had a big fan blog for the show and talked a lot about it on my twitter which lead me to many interactions with the writers who then invited me to dinner at comic con one year. I had a long talk with Shumway abut my goals and what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I wanted to be in TV somehow. I knew I wanted to be in writing somehow but I couldn't figure out how those two things aligned. I was doing a lot of journalism and critic stuff because that felt like the clsoest way to be both a fan and workin in the world I loved but it was really Kim and Shawna that opened my eyes to the ability to just .... be a TV writer. Film school had made me terrified of the wrtiing side but I think it was because film school was so much more about writing for film which I learned isn't my thing. But TV is a writers' medium, unlike film which is more fo a directors medium and suddenly I was like -- MIND BLOWN. It was everything I wanted in a career and married all of the things I loved. It was something that had previously felt like unattainable but they made it seem human and approachable.

They helped me get my first WPA job, I saved up 3 grand working and with the help of some friends and moved to LA to start that. And suddenly I was in a whirlwind of catching up on everything I felt like I had missed. I was reading scripts, learning what the process looked like, doing everything I coudl to figure out what being a TV writer looked like. After that job, I got another WPA job at Millar Gough on Into the Badlands and later Shannara.

THEN I got hired on Daybreak which I can fully credit with being a huge stepping stone for me and changing my life in a lot of ways. Aron was the best showrunner. He was educational and he taught us shit, he let us in the room, he let us write stuff, he let us pitch and try and fall on our faces and never judged us for it. My second season there he moved me up to writers assitant and patiently walked me through all the stuff I didn't know yet because he had faith in me and my voice and my ideas. He let me writ e afreelance episode that year and pitch it in the room and do all the things that real w riters get to do.

So after Daybreak season 2 got cancelled I was pretty ready to spend my next year or two just writing, finding an agent and moving forawrd. And then I got an email to go and work for Moira Walley Beckett. She was looking for an assistant with serious room experience to help develop something in a small room and stay on with her later. I took the job becuase she's MOIRA and I was stoked to learn from her and work for a woman for once. I ernded up very fortunate becuase a month later we were all surprised by the covid mess and I was fully employed that whole year while many people weren't which was a huge help. Moira was a STELLAR boss. I had thought I was ready and what she taught me was that ther's always so much more to learn. She walked me through the process of applying notes and taking notes and changing draft after draft of your story. SHe walked me through breaking a whole season of television. We had a great partnership for the year and I'm so grateful. And then that project didn't end up seeing hte light of day and we our separate ways as well.

Cut to a few months ago, I was still at home in Boston, post-covid, having been sick for most of january. My friend Rachel dared me to write a spec in a weekend for the Warner Bros fellowship deadline. So I did. It was a Legacies Spec. Given that we didn't have access to the WGA library because of the pandemic, Legacies was an easy and obvious choice. I had already seen it inside and out and didn't need as much access to learning a show from scratch. So I wrote what I loved, wrote a season 2 legacies spec that embraced my favorite things about legacies: the high school soap of one tree hill, Lizzie doing wild dialogue, buffy-esque monsters, and themes of grief and humanity.

AND THE REST you know.

Here we are. I'm still lost as fuck. I'm still running full speed through a world I don't always feel like I"m ready for. I'm still a perfectionist and an obsessive overworker. I still take notes I don't need to take and do work at 10pm and come in early and stare at the story boards. There's a whole journey in all of this about representation and coming to find myself and queer media and wanting to make more of it but that's one I don't feel like I can fully get into until I'm decades out of it and the world is truly made better. But I'm here. And it feels like the end of a journey and liek I'm standing at the edge of a brand new clif because I've only just started.

[cosplayinamerica]

COSPLAY THEME PAGE : ShareMyCosplay.com

Tell us about ShareMyCosplay, what was the genesis of the ShareMyCosplay? 

Share My Cosplay has gone through quite the journey to get to what you see today. I can still remember the day that I came up with the idea that would eventually lead to Share My Cosplay. I was eating lunch with a few friends at my day job. A friend of mine showed me a cosplay of Jessica Nigri as Pikachu, and because I worked in IT,  for some reason had an idea of doing a website related to cosplay. The actual website took a while to set up, but I started off slowly, with an initial launch on social media. We launched with Tumblr and Twitter, slowly building an audience. Then eventually a little bit later adding Facebook, and eventually much later introducing Instagram into the “family’. Eventually we added the website and have been going strong since then. We’ve of course made tons of adjustments over the years, and most recently started adding content on YouTube. It’s been a great ride so far, and hopefully it will continue.

What was your first experience with cosplay as well as the convention scene?

Like a lot of people who are into gaming and comic books, I was aware of cosplay, but didn’t really know much about it. It was only after looking into the idea of starting a site that I really got to know what goes on behind the scenes. It was meeting and talking to people in the scene that made me realize what an amazing community of people are involved. That is why I have continued the site for so long. As our social media following grew, I got to know more and more of the cosplayers, and was so happy I was able to use what I had created to help them gain more exposure. Share My Cosplay exists as a place where all cosplayers can have their work properly showcased.

As for conventions. While I live in the capital city of Canada, Ottawa is a relatively small city of one million people. Conventions have only really made it big in the last 5 years or so and before that were never a really big thing. I had travelled to other cities within Canada for some conventions, but those were mainly toy based conventions, so there would just be a handful of devoted cosplayers hanging out. It wasn’t until much later, when conventions started to take off, that our city got it’s own “Comic-con”. Then things exploded quickly. When our first Ottawa Comic-con launched, I was there day one, and the lineup was out of the building and wrapped around the whole building. I think it took a couple of hours to actually get into the convention floor. I could only assume it was similar to something like entering SDCC, but on a much smaller scale.

So while that has been a staple in our city for the last 10 years, I’ve also been traveling to Montreal Comic-con, which is a little bigger. Since there are maybe fewer conventions in Canada, people seem to come from great distances to show off the cosplays they had worked out. The dream has always been to try and get to SDCC, but that hasn’t happened yet. Travel is so expensive from Canada.

So for the short term I had set my sights on visiting NYCC, which is a “quick” drive from my area of Canada. However like all plans, they fell through. I had plans to go to NYCC and E3 in 2020, but of course those fell through because of what happened around the world. I miss conventions. One because they are such a great way to meet and interact with the cosplayers, and two, it’s one of the primary places we get content to share on our site and pages. So that has been lacking for us recently. Fingers crossed things will get back to normal soon.

How has cosplay changed over the years in your perspective?

Like everything you get to know, it evolves and grows over time. Being knee deep in cosplay all the time (my inbox once had 100+gb of cosplay submissions), I have certainly seen it change over the years. Obviously cosplays have become more elaborate in construction. Things like LEDs are so cheap now, I always find it amazing when people incorporate them into a costume. So the cosplay builds just get bigger and better every year. Also I find the resources on the internet have gotten better. Cosplayers are now able to find more detailed pictures of what they want to create, giving them a way better idea of what and how they will do it for a certain character.

Another thing that has changed, are the absolutely stunning Cosplay edits you’ll see on social media. So why the cosplay photographers have always been an integral part of the equation (we try hard to tag them when people include their details on submissions), the level that the editing on pictures has changed over the years is dramatic. You’ll often see the time-lapsed photo creations on Social, and they are just mesmerizing to watch. People put so much time into creating these worlds to help elevate the cosplay to the next level. That has certainly changed over the years. That being said, we still love regular shots of cosplay too, the amount of photographers that specialize in cosplay has jumped a lot too.

In general, it seems cosplay has evolved from a simple hobby where you could throw something together to wear to a weekend convention, to a full time gig where people spend months on at a time for each one of their creations.

How has ShareMyCosplay changed over the years?

In my eyes SMC has evolved greatly over the years. As the editor there have been two major changes, and I think it has improved the way we do things. The first thing would be, when we first started I used to go “collect” the cosplay that we shared. So I had to either go find it, or reach out to people. I spent a lot of time tracking down cosplay to share, that I personally thought was cool or very creative. As you can imagine this took a lot of time. So this has changed dramatically over the past 3 -  5 years. Now I’m happy to say that we are 99.9% based on submissions from users. So while there is less than 1% of content that we do go out and ask for, it is basically all based on what people send us to share. So that is why you see such a great variety of cosplay content on our pages. There is a downside to this in a way, as compared to some other pages out there that only feature certain types of cosplayers, some people enjoy that a bit more and those pages can have more of a following then we do. However we are really happy with the content we put out. 

Then the second big change, that has certainly led to better content for our pages, is the introduction of automation. When SMC first started, I had to do everything manually. Like I would be on Twitter or my phone doing everything live, and sharing items. It took up a lot of my time, and greatly affected my personal life. At times I think I must have been crazy, as this is a free service that we provide, and I was putting hours into each day. Now of course things have changed and the Social Media aspect of SMC is way easier to manage. Facebook, Twitter and Instagram all have official tools available that allow you to schedule your posts. So you can easily take an hour or 2 and work on several days of a week at the same time, or if you were really organized, schedule the whole week. So I’ve learned to embrace this a bit more and learn the ins and outs of it. This leads to a more constant stream of content that our followers seem to enjoy. Which seems to lead to more engagement from our followers.

What’s the best part / worst part of running a cosplay theme page? 

The best part has obviously been meeting & interacting with the community throughout the years. We do our best to present a positive place where everyone can share their cosplay creations. We’ve been invited to some really cool events over the years, and our team has been able to go to a lot of conventions all over the world. It’s been a fun ride.

The worst part for me personally, is that while our team has grown and shrank over the years, I do most of the work by myself. Sharemycosplay.com is run by a single person, me. Also for the most part there is a single person doing all of the social media. So I do my best to have content up all of the time, but sometimes life gets in the way. We’ve put a few calls out for people that might want to help with content creation for the site, but sometimes it’s hard to attract people interested in helping. Right now I’d love a few writers that could write articles that I could wrap around cosplay posts for the page. We will have to see how that turns out.

What future plans do you have for ShareMyCosplay?

I’m always looking to expand Sharemycosplay.com with new content. During the pandemic I’ve been off my normal schedule so unfortunately updates have been a bit slow, but hoping to get back to things. With conventions off the table for now for the most part, I’m trying to move in different directions. I’ve recently tried to put more effort into YouTube, but even that has been impacted by the Pandemic, so I’ve leaned more on gaming content. That is going to change as I’ve started a new initiative that I just launched on our page a few days ago called “CosplaySELF''. Basically we are looking to have cosplayers interview themselves, and us edit the footage into the “episodes' ' featuring 3 cosplayers. Hopefully those will start to be live very soon. We are already into the editing phase and hope to have the first episode live soon, over on our YouTube page. Keep your eyes peeled. Hopefully, as long as people show interest, this is something we will continue to create and upload on a regular schedule.

Is there anything that wasn’t covered you like to talk about?

 Lastly I want to thank you for taking the time to include Share My Cosplay in this interview. It really means a lot when someone else in the community that you respect, takes a moment out of their busy life to recognize the work you’ve done. There have been times in the past where I have considered possibly giving up doing SMC, but getting some recognition really helps put things in perspective and allows me to continue on. Hopefully Share My Cosplay will continue to grow over the coming years, and continue as a great tool for all cosplayers to use.

https://www.sharemycosplay.com/

[popculturebuffet]

Hickman’s X-Men Line: One Year in Part 1: Prelude, House and Powers of X, X-Men and New Mutants (Hickman)

Under the cut is an explination of how hickman’s run happened (the mass decay will be covered another time probably), and dives into his x-books: house of x, powers of x,x-men and his breif run on new mutants and what i thought. Pax Krakoa baby. 

One year ago, I breathed a sigh of relief as I read the utterly masterful house of x #1.  See for the past few months, i’d been waiting on baited breath for this comic with a level of anticipation not matched by any before or since. Even the debut of a spinoff to Chew, one of my faviorite comics of all time that i deftnetly need to do a retrospective on, this week got within the same galaxy and it still wasn’t on the same level. This was big, grandiose and everything I hoped for. And whatever issues I had as House and it’s sister series came out slowly died out as the full story unfolded, my jaw dropped and my faith in Hickman to save the x-men was  fully delivered. At last the x-men were back on top. And it was going to be one hell of a ride.  

As you probably know the x-men had been treated pretty badly at marvel due to fox having the movie rights, a move that still baffles and frustrates me. Instead of making money to rub in fox’s face by promoting the hell out of them in merchandise, animation, video games and of course comics ALONGSIDE the avengers, they basically ignored the x-men and fantastic four to give fox less to work with to spite them while fox.. entirely ignored this as since both franchises have been around since the 60′s and the x-men had had mountains of spinoffs to give them mountains of characters. So in short: a decision to spite and hurt their compeitors only cost marvel money, pissed off fans and fox’s eventual absortion as far as I can tell had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. 

Thankfully marvel DID stop being stupid eventually and relented: The Fantastic Four came back a year before house of x with a decent run by dan slott, which is thankfully more like earlier spider-man work and ff work, and less like what his spider-man run became from superior onward despite the ocasional misfire but i’ll talk about both runs another day. I mostly bring it up because with this revivial, marvel also slowly reintegrated the four back into the marvel universe and made their return feel like a big deal.  The X-Men however took a bit: while they got an earlier shot at returning with ressurxion. Buuut with the idea of having hickman return in their back pocket, marvel apparently refused, at least according to cullen bunn who I fell has no real reason to lie, to let the writers rock the boat too much and the era perdictably was just meh, especially flagship book X-Men Gold which was written bafflingly by Mark Gugenhiem and outside of one or two good ideas basically felt like the comics equivlent of one of those party store albums where every song is a cover done by someone who couldn’t give half a damn. There were bright spots though with Cullen Bunn finishing out his awesome x-men tenure with x-men blue, Sina Grace’s wonderful iceman that took the wonky execution of Bendis’ decision to make bobby drake gay and made it work beautifully, and the decent if somewhat baffling x-men red. But overall it just felt like a missed opportunity and with the fox deal in bloom and a new EiC, marvel NEEDED something bigger, bolder and grander to do with marvel’s strangest heroes of all. After all all eyes would be on them while Marvel’s Movie department took a few years, probably longer now thanks to the pandemic, to let things cool off before bringing the x-men into the mcu.  Enter Jonathan Hickman: Writer of another one of my faviorite runs of all time, his Fantastic Four run, along with an enjoyable but heavily flawed avengers run, a secret warriors run i’ve read half of that was a hell of a ride, tons of ultimate comics, and a bunch of indies I haven’t read but are probably great. A wordy weirdo and i’m convinced the second coming of grant morrison, and I hope one day the two work together on something tha’ts equal parts weird and amazing.

The morrison comparison is also apt as both came into the X-Men at a time when the x-men badly needed them: Just like Hickman morrison had to deal with a largely stagnant x-men and changed them to fit the times. And yes unsuprisngly i’ll also be covering morrisons run, warts and all, and it’s also one of my faviorite comics of all time. However Hickman was given a huge advtange his spirtiual predecessor, and really few comics writers EVER have gotten: full control of the x-men line.  Unlike morrison who wasn’t even allowed to use certain characters despite writing the main fucking x-book, Hickman got full creative control: full say in the direction of the story, full say in who came on board and to let them pitch whatever they wanted to do. And honestly it’s an apporach that’s not only reovlutionarly but makes the books FEEL like their actually occuring around the same time. Sure their all still seperate entities, but it DOES feel like one coheisive universe. Contrastingly with the avengers Black Panther’s solo has had him on a year long sojurn in space, before returning to earth.. while also running the avengers over in jason aaron’s run and having his own spinoff team, without any fucking clue as to when intergalactic empire of wakanda takes place in relation to everything else. Tony Stark is currently just taking back both his own damn name and the iron man name in his own book, but is also a major player in avengers, and empyre with no mention of his seeming drunken spiral (itw as a ploy) or arno taking up the armor and I feel these issues rather than the neglect the x-men once had are why krakoa’s impact isn’t being felt more in other titles. I’m not saying don’t let books do their own thing, but I am saying let them have fucking consequences and weight instead of just acting like one isn’t happening or at the very least have a character be absent for an arc so you can fit the other stories into continuity easier. As X-Men’s shown it dosen’t stifle inovation and hell even immortal hulk easily fit into no road home with a fucking note saying “this takes place before x issue” it’s not that hard.  This advantage was likely part of Hickman’s terms for coming back. See the x-men were the one thing at marvel he never got to do. The Gillieon and Aaron runs and Bendis runs meant the spot simply wasn’t open and by the time he was leaving it was clear marvel wanted to bury the x-men not praise them, so his ideas had no run. But the X-Men were what got Jonathan into comics. A shocking fact I learned at last years comic con, during which most of the dawn of x titles were revealed, was he WASN’T a fantastic four or avengers fan as a kid, not hating them but like me with the avengers for some time, not really caring about them. But with both runs, he did his homework, read as much as possible, and BECAME a fan, and it shows as both runs show a deep love for both marvel and the teams present. With X-Men they were his dream, his golden goose, his windmill, he just never was in the right place at the right time... but with Marvel needing his starpower and creativity and having nothing to loose with the x-men and badly needing a big run to hlep keep intrest in the x-men till the new movies, he finally was. So seeing the company needed him and he could get his dream and the control he needed, while dc had just taken bendis, didn’t need him and until very recently was ran by a moron, his choice to come back to marvel instead of go to dc as he’s admitted, was obvious. And it ended up being the right one. House and Powers of x were massive creative and commerical hits and the following titles have all been mostly praised. The new direction has been a boon for the franchise,k the fans and marvel.  So being a fan of this direction, as you can tell by the massive intro, to give my thoughts on each book so far: what I think their doing right, where some went wrong etc, since I’d rather wait another year or so befor ediving into these and let some more of hickman’s plans and future story hints spread throughout his books pay off first. WIth that all out of the way it’’s time for a deep dive of x.So grab some plant based snacks, your x-shaped helmets, and your krakoan coffee, it’s time to finally get into hickman’s era of x-men. 

HOUSE OF X AND POWERS OF X The opening salvo and just with two mini series that are one, though why he DIDN’T just have them be one big mini series I genuinely do not know, probably to justify having two diffrent artists to carry the load, is an utter masterpiece. Plain and simple. Let’s get the status quo the series set up out of the way so I can dig into it more: Magento and Xavier were revealed to have been working together for years behind the scenes.. with Moira Mactaggert, one of my favoirite x characters who the series changes utterly and forever. See instead of being the one human who consitantly is on mutants side and one of the x-men’s staunchest allies who sadly hadn’t been resusrected in 20 fucking years, she was a mutant herself, her ablility being reincarnation.. and thus had lived through 9 of her 10 lives seeing mutantkind always loose so told xavier and magneto about this in the hopes of breaking the wheel and letting mutantkind live this time.  However hickman , while revealing the alliance does brilliantly still make it work in continuity for me: it’s clear from moira’s notes in one issue, as house and powers and any following titles love having charts or text based sections that I feel give the comics a unique flavor and really help boost most issues, that Charles optimism she was trying to break him of and faith in humanity took years to fully shatter: he plotted and schemed with her to protect his species but it was clear he probably felt it woudln’t be necessary that humanity would prove her wrong.. and by this series it’s clear, no they haven’t changed, the majority of them just want to genocide mutants and have tried again and again and again while the rest who don’t necessarily want it, paticuarlly the superheroes did nothing while Magneto chaffed against her after the whole “alter his infant self after he was deaged by a mutant he made into a baby to be more pacificsitc which naturally pissed him off when that wore off”. Yes that’s a thing that actually happened pre and post retcons it’s why a survivor of the holocaust is , while not a YOUNG man, still healthy and vibrant. It’s a clever way to not undermine those stories while still telling this one and this retcon is a move I like as unlike most retcons it’s both there to tell a good story and excuted in a way that outside of moira dosen’t undermine anything. The Moira retcon I was and to a degree still am mixed on. While the new version of her is brilliant, creative and intresting and I can’t wait to see what happens with her next time she shows up, I do mourn the old as the x-men had few human allies and now their only big one is now a mutant herself, but it IS in service of a really damn good narraitive and the twist that the bad futures presented were in fact other lives of moira was brilliant, and it’s nice to see SOMETHING done with her. I’d rather something that i have a small problem with lead to really great things and be worth the sacrifice of her former character, than just changing things because “fuck it I want to do this and their letting me do this’ as a lot of retcons tend to be. Hickman’s story needs moira and her cycle of defeat to truly soar to the heights it’s reaching, and to make Charles and Xavier’s back alley actions make sense, so i’ll glady sacrifce one version of a character that I really liked for another version of her that’s also really good.  The other big swing though I was completley on board for: Hinted at early on by serveral dead mutants being alived, after a sucidie mission against new big bads and mutant hating extermists orchis, who are far better written than other extermists,   it’s revealed just why death has seemingly taken a holiday: the big plan that has been decades in the making for xavier and co? That will reshape mutant kind and required working with mr sinsiter of all people? Revivie all dead mutants.  See in a brilliant reveal Cerebro isn’t just a mutant tracker; It’s a copier, copying their essecnes reaguarly and storing them for later, updating them every so often and thus meaning any who died can come back. Why it took Chuck so long to do this is also explained as he needed 5 specific mutant power sets to do it and thus had to wait till they had everything they needed: Goldballs, yes goldballs, spits out his giant golden balls, phrasing, which hickman in an insane and awesome turn revealed to be EGGS. Yes EGGS. Proteus, Moira’s son and former villian whose now pacificed since this body cloning process means he has an infnite suply of xavier bodies to burn through and thus isn’t killing people, warps reality to mamke the eggs viable. Elixir, a healer whose been through some shit the poor guy,gives the eggs , once injected with the mutant in questions dna via syringe because of course, life, and Tempus, goldballs former classmate fellow bendis creation and mistress of time, speeds it up a bit so they don’t have to wait a good few decades for some mutants to rerez. The fifth that makes all this possible is hope summers, mutant messiah and adopted daughter of cable returned to promence once more, whose power is revealed to be power maniulation and thus can boost their powers to the degree neded for this. it’s a BRILLIANT turn that not only undoes all the pointless deaths mutants have undergone, but changes the game: Genocide is now near impossible, as humanity has no idea bout any of htis, and instead of mutant lives going down, they can only go once.. as one man once put it...

And as an x-men fan having watched characters I love die again and again for stupid reasons, especially int he placeholder run right before house of x, this was so satsifying. Everyone the x-men had lost, every character I loved who was gone and forgotten.. they were back or would be back.  And thanks to Krakoa they were thriving: By giving mutantkind a homeland instead of a headquarters, a nation given to one of their own because he demanded itbasically, or an island fortress designed to give a dying species refuge, they have a goregous sentient island (I’ve always loved krakoa for the record though I wonder what happened to his clone son), with abundant food, teleporting gates across the world to visit wherever they like or live in the various worldwide habitats if they please, and peace and security they’ve neve rknown. No more being woken up to get to a panic room because a sentienl attacked. No more having religious maniacs blow up busses containing your tine. No more having the vast majority of the superhero community do nothing as a fucking plauge cloud wipes out your species. Anything apporaching krakoa now has hundreds of the most powerful beings alive defending all mutants.. and that includes the worst of the worst, all given amntesty.. but they must tow the line or else be given a fate worse than death. After years of pain and suffering and misery mutantkind is free safe and happy. They still have to fight to get the rest of their kind out of racist hands and to saftey, the fight’s not over.. but now the odds are in mutantkinds favor. It’s paradise.  And yet this mini, and this whole run dosen’t run from tough issues; The mutants are now isolationists and only mutants are allowed on krakoa itself.. on the one hand this is a bad idelogy and potentially dangerous, instead of fighting for harmony fighting for my land alone.. but it’s also see why Mutantkind has taken to it. The X-Men have tried for at the least a decade in universe and at the most and most likely 15 years to live in harmony, fight for mankind and make peace with them.. and only a small chunk has acutally tried to help them with that. The other large fraction? They either build death machines to try and wipe out all mutants, and in the case of Cassandra NOva who while not a human is still a racist genocidal bitch, SUCCEED in wiping out a large chunk, or do nothing while mutantkind suffers.  The series forces you to think about the implications that marvel comics themselves previous ignored: That with all the superheros in this world who arent mutants.. more often than not htey’ve done fuck all when terrible shit happens. When Genosha died, not a one asked the x-men what happened or tried to hunt down those responsible. When Decemation happened, the avengers were more concerned with helping the x-men cover it up than helping them move on and did nothing as the goverment made xavier’s into a reservation, even after regrestration happened and the goverment had more heroes than ever to spare to helping them. When the T-Mist happened years later instead of stopping terrigin or asking the inhumans to stop it for the good of another race, the rest of the heroes just did fuck all. Sure the avengers were on a budget and the ff were asbent, but there were enough heroes in the world still and enough teams to do something about it and only the ones with mutants on them did!. IT’s hard to say “well you shoudln’t exclude them”.. when the rest of superhero kind has been subtly doing it their whole lives.  But it dosen’t shy away from the claims of racial superiority the isoaltion or the fact the x-men basically sued for nationhood by making requiring recognizing their nation hood the price for trading for their life saving and extending, world changing drugs, which you would still need to buy. There’s other issues, one that i’ll get to in a moment as it was only revealed in x-men. Various characters, Corsair in issue one of the ongoing, the fincial summit in issue 4 and the ff both in house of x #1 and ff/x-men, all question this and some of the ethics. Hickman brilliantly decides instead of just painting the x-men as absolute moral rights, to show their new nation warts and all: the genuine good their doing and trying to do but also the price they have to pay for it and the mistakes they may be making. And the compromise necessary to build a nation. It’s all chiling, compelling shit that’s even more releveant in a time when bigotry is piling up like crazy. Both house and x-men, which i’ll get to in a second, ask questions with no easy answers and it makes them a compelling read.  Also compelling is the two mini series use of flashbacks: The two previous moira timelines, which we learn are just that as we go, are compelling with the apoclaypse timeline having loveable heroes were are heartbroken to see die in the struggle, while the last timeline seemingly sees the mutants turn as bad as the humans.. only to peel back a layer at the end and reveal humans are still very much the real monsters, and them evolving via machine is a threat to mutant kind's natural evolution. It was a good story twist and of course there’s FAR more to dig into in both books, and I defintely will at some point in the future as I said. But there’s tons of great ideas here: Sinsiter not only being a mutant but a reluctant ally, the same of apocalyspe, the heavy questions I got into above, the idea of machines being mutants greatest threat which makes a ton of sense, and the various ones I already went into. I can’t gush about this book enough, but since this is already long enough i’m trying. The point is both mini series are great and how you do a self contianed event perfectlY plenty of consequence, plenty of scope but enough character and brilliant ideas and a FUCK TON of quotable and iconic lines, all blend into one of the very best series i’ve ever read. And lead directly into..

X-Men I talked about a lot of what this book represents above as it’s a direct continuation of the above, but the book on it’s own is still something diffrent. while it continues setting things up, playing with the new toybox hickman set up, and asking the tough questions, x-men does it in a diffrent way. House and Powers bounce around through time while all telling one huge story and one huge bundle of setup for this status quo.  X-Men instead is a bunch of single issues. It’s still a ton of setup, though with enough payoff to house and powers that it at least so far hasn’t become tedious, especailly since hickman specifically has plans for all of it and has shown in the past he’s a long game man when it comes to storytelling, but through more action packed stories that, with the exception of mistque’s spotlight issue so far, have one shared element: Cyclops, aka Scott Summers, who as grand captain of krakoa is the nation’s ruling council’s go to guy for missions and who he himself can form any team he once for any mission.  Cyclops, like the x-men hadn’t been treated well for years; Various characters lambasted him after the phoenix force drove him mad and lead to him killing charles xavier, and before that his run as leader of utopia, not helped by x-force painting him as a cold heartless dickweed, had him forced to make questionable decisions that made fans turn agains thim despite the hard position he was in. But now with the burden of absolute leadership of mutantkind in other hands, HIckman writes scott beautifully and has restored him to his proper place.  WIth Xavier taking over as absolute leader of mutantkind and his race no longer hanging by a thread for the first time in years scott can relax and ENJOY himself. As the first issue shows he has everything he ever could have possibly wanted: A healthy marriage with Jean again, and an open one at that with him free to still see emma and Jean openly seeing Logan. Logan himself no longer trying to murder scott for his mistakes or kill his teenage self due to bad writing, but being his best friend again and also living with him and presumibly having threeways because they have connected bedrooms and of course jean would want both at once. Maybe they also just fuck each other sometimes again the details haven’t exactly been clear but it’d explain the tension disappearing. Maybe the schism would’ve ended quicker if Cyclops and Wolverine just fucked each other after children of the atom. Hey not every question is a deep personal one on krakoa sometimesm it’s just “Are these two fucking and could it have solved things faster in the past if they did?”. Also I almost forgot to mention, and added this near the end of writing this, in additoin to everything else scott now lives ON THE FUCKING MOON, on the blue area with a breathable atompshere, on a moon house with his family and fuckbuddy and Vulcan’s buddys. It’s fucking amazing. But moving back to other things scott’s gotten besides logan’s wang up his butt, as seen in issue one thanks to the gates his dad can now visit anytime, his brothers live with him with Vulcan going from genocidal dickweed to weirdo thanks to his experinces between his “death’ and this series, and he’s just. happy. And as a leader he takes the x-men on thrilling missions: the series combines action with character and worldbuilding and it is great.  The worldbuilding part has been tremendous; we’ve seen new foes in the returning children of the vault and horticulture, aka what if the golden girls were tv ma, and also plant based  supervillians plotting a better future for mankind that krakoa’s drugs clash with. We’ve seen nimrod creeping close, charles and magneto not playing ball with mystique start to backfire, the return of krakoa’s lost love, and in my faviorite arc, we’ve seen broo, one of my faviorite x-people and intellegent brood, eat an egg and thus become god emperor of the brood, not only giving the vicious race a chance to reform but giving the x-men a huge advatange in space, doubeldby events we’ll get to in a second.  And biggest of all we saw the crucible: Since those depwoered by the decimation can get power back by dying again, and to prevent overworking the five with mass sucidies krakoa came up with a nasty solution,: earning resurection via ritual combat. And like the above there aren’t easy answers to this: mass sucidie isn’t better or faster, but having mutatns forced to EARN repowering by dying brutally isn’t a great solution either and is kind of sick. And it also opens up questions about ressurectoin that Nightcrawler feels made need reegion to answer htem. It’s again good heavy instreating stuff.  We also got my faviorite issue #4 where the x-men go to a fincial summit, and while security detail cyclops and gorgon fight off hired goons...

Xavier, Magneto and Apocalypse discuss with world leaders about the implications of krakoa’s policys, with Magneto not hiding his love of flexing his superiority. And Charles ends the confrence, after it’s revealed one hired them in an utterly masterful moment: Taking off his helmet to reveal no this is charles, this is him and that even after they tried assintating him he has and always will love humanity he’s just sick of being treated like crap and suffering for doing it and his people suffering for it and he won’t tolerate this sort of shit again. See it for yourself it’s an absolute triumph:

 It’s a great scene. Overall an utterly great title that really keeps the momentum moving and I feel is only setting up for even more things.. the only real issue is that A) the title’s been slower at coming out than the other dawn of x titles, though in the case of the empyre tie in’s it’s not hteir fault but the rest sure as shit are, and B) that it has mostly been just setup but it’s been good enough and enjoyable enough and I feel payoff is coming, so I truly don’t care. At long last we have a main x-men  book that’s not only fantastic but uttterly engaging and I read most issues multiple times. An utter slam dunk

Giant Sized X-Men: This one is incomplete, so I can’t fully say what the full picture is.. but for the three released so far it’s a mixed bag, though the art in all three is gorgeous as Hickman brought on the best artists in the buisness but it’s telling that while New Mutants bellow had issues that bugged me but was still kinda fun, and the above havem y utter priase I nearly forgot to include these issues. None of them are bad and all have gorgeous art as I said, these are some of the best in the buisness, they feel padded. These were supposed to be annuals, but when they decided to change this to one shots.. they shoudl’ve just made them regular length instead, as there simply isn’t enough story here to fill them and so far only Davis’ issue has both had huge setup (both revealing doug’s fusion with warlock is a secret for some reason and that he is indeed still fully alive and revealing what happened to the x-mansion), and due to Davis background as a writer/artist the pacing to fill one issue and even then it could’ve been trimmed. Not bad and I don’t fault the artists for not being used to being writer/artists or having to do so while also conforming to a larger narriative which likely didn’t help or in the third one’s case having to take over for someone else entirely, but it’s , while not bad no ton par with the two above books and I expect better from hickman. 

New Mutants (HIckman’s Issues)  I’ll cover Brisson’s issues next time as they feel like a diffrent run entirely, but New Mutants was.. a disapointment. I was utterly pumped for this title going in being a huge fan of the team thanks to finally reading the claremont and sikenwitz run and before that re-reading abnett and lannings utterly great run and hey jonathan hickman who’d already done gangbusters was writing it! It had a great roster! 

And it starreed one of hickman’s faviorite mutants and one he’d taken a shine to on avengers, and one of my faviorite superheros, Roberto DeCosta, aka Sunspot. On Avengers hickman took Roberto , already a decent character and made him amazing. He was still rich, young and a playboy as ever.. but he used said wealth and his love of fun wisely. When undercover at an AIM casino instead fo throw down, he offers the agents a free day of partying and gambling on his huge dime, then puts them on payroll as his undercover agents. So to recap Roberto DeCosta won the avengers two valuable double agents in what at the time was one of their biggest threats.. by buying them tons of beer and gambling and presumibly hookers. And later got the loyatly of the rest of AIM through these guys, and when Steve found out tony betrayed him and went off hte deep end hunting him instead of stopping the end of the goddamn world, TOOK OVER AIM HIMSELF IN COMBAT WITH THE AIM SUPREME, and then formed his own avengers. 

Literally. He got his own avengers team, most of which left after the apocalypse but he simply found younger and hungrier replacements, and aim.. with blackjack and hookers. The man is a legend. And knowing Roberto if hookers were actually involved he probably treated them with respect and overpayed them because he’s a class act. Then under Al Ewing’s mighty pen, Roberto not only formed another avengers team since most of the avengers he formed to stop the end of the world were busy elsewhere, of young and great avengers, while dying of the aformentioned death cloud, but became an utterly brilliant chessmaster, only failing ONCE becaue of hydra cap getting into his head while AIM was working for the us goverment towards the end as the USAvengers. And yes that’s a real team. It’s as insane and beautiful as it sounds. And his new avengers once fought american kaiju, a godzilla with a flag painted on it chaning usa. Al Ewing is the best and I love him. But he also became a master stratigest and schemer with schemes within schemes within schemes, his crowning one being faking his own death and using his fake funeral to clear out any remaning enimies in AIm, and only quitting AIM to keep it out of goverment hands and in the hands of a trusted friend. He was and still is one of the best avengers there ever was and ever will be.  But here, as the new mutants go on a road trip to get sam? He’s a fucking dumbass who hires the worst space laywer possible, only gets off trial because Sam and his wife save them, glad they weren’t broken up by the way,  and is utterly useless most of the time. It’s like HIckman forgot the last part of his run.. granted time runs out isn’t very good but still, that wasn’t a good thing to forget and like Hickman wants to ignore ewing’s work for no damn reason, even though Ewing did great things with Roberto and kept him relevant when marvel was choking the x-men to death. It’s fucking embrassing and disapointing to see.  The rest of the New Mutants aren’t much better mostly being happy but also not really acting like themselves, with only mondo really standing out since he gets great moments and hasn’t done anything in a while. And Doug, who I negelcted to mention above is one of my faviorite mutants and thanks to being krakoa’s primary method of commuincation, is now one of krakoa’s most important mutants, has a seat at the council with krakoa, and weirdly has his best friend warlock hiding on his arm for reasons that haven’t been explained yet. In Short doug went from beign forgotten to being used awesomely again. Roberto instead of getting the same is set back as a character and ends the arc deciding to stay in space because he misses sam, and will likely become third in his marriage i’m sure, and wants to bone deathbird, x-men villian and frequent shiar usuper. But while rahne actually being happy is a good sight to behold they , except Dani, really dont’ do much. Though Magik gets a fucking amazing scene where she asks the various assasians sent ot kill them if they want to make out , not only revealing she’s bi, but that she’d prefer that to killing them all but does so when they dumbly refuse .. I mean seriously who, whose not in a relationship that’s open or way older than her, not take her up on that?  The plot their thrust into isnt’ great either, mostly just more setup but not present as well as in x-men about Gladiator giving the shiar empire to xavier’s daughter.. yes charles has a daughter that was created from his and his ex wife lilandra, whose still dead’s dna, and letting DEATHBIRD Of all people teach her instead of his damn self. Xandra taking over isn’t a terrible idea it’s just handeld poorly. It just feels disapointing.. like hickman WANTS to do a JLI style book here but the combination of him only doing one arc and not really wanting to write the characters as they should be, an issue that only pops up here and in the new mutants cameo during x-men proper and not for doug ever, that makes it fall falt.. I mean there are utterly great moments like the above, and hte image i used to lead off their just stifled by misusing roberto and everyone else. 

But overall hickman’s works on x-men  are fucking great, intresting and engaging. I’ve read the issues a ton and will again. One small mistep dosen’t take away from all the large good he’s done and he’s made the franchise feel alive again and hopefully the MCU take on it will take after this run, as it’d be a great way to break from the endless xavier vs magneto battles of the fox universe. So yeah overall 2 great books and a thankfully short misfire, HIckman’s on top. And next time we’ll see who he picked to help him carry the x banner home to us all, and who did well with it and whose stumbled a bit as part two delves into the rest of the dawn of x. For now subscribe for more comics stuff as I plan to get back on that, including I hope a restrospective on the fox era x-men sometime soon, animation reviews, and more fun stuff. And until then, courage. 

[misssophiachase]

Putting this here just in case: Celebrity Klaroline, they are co-stars on a super popular show and have been secretly dating for years. They decide to reveal to the public that they are engaged via an Instagram-live during quarantine.

Thank you, luv, this one is so much fun and reminds me of Bob and Eliza my  Bellarke babies : ) So, they are my inspiration. I hope you like it, it got a bit longer than I’d envisaged. 

Do You Want to Know a Secret?

“So, let me get this straight,” she began. “You’re going to announce your engagement via Instagram Live?”

“Didn’t we just say that?” 

“I was repeating myself to emphasise my point not because I didn’t hear you,” Rebekah growled, looking between them. Even via Skype she still had that scary ‘don’t mess with me’ demeanour. “Last time I checked I was your publicist and it’s my job to tell you when you are doing something stupid, today is case in point.”

“And while we appreciate the, uh, services you provide, little sister,” Klaus mumbled. “It really is up to us how we let people know about the engagement.”

“You’ve been secretly dating for years, not one paparazzi shot, not one late-night TMZ ambush, not one Perez Hilton catty headline, not one on-set insider account, not one secret, comic con moment, not…”

“We get the picture, Rebekah,” Caroline interrupted. “We’re stealth as Kol would say.”

“Did he put you up to this? Because on further reflection it seems like one of his immature, ill-conceived ideas.”

“I’ll tell him you send your love, Rebekah,” Klaus teased thinking about his little brother and manager.

Klaus Mikaelson and Caroline Forbes were co-stars of the most popular sci-fi drama on television. Their characters were engaged in an on-again-off-again romance but what the public didn’t know was their favourite on-screen couple were off-screen as well. 

Not that it had started out that way, in fact it was more adversarial

2 years earlier…

“You did not just kick me there!” He growled, rolling around on the floor in pain. The director had just called ‘cut’ and the series leads were fighting, yet again.

The tension between them had been present from the first audition and the producers thought it was exactly what they needed in their two leads Cole Hamilton and Riley James.

As predicted, there was fireworks on-screen but off-screen was another story. The tension bubbling below the surface was threatening to boil over. The cast and crew were taking bets on when they were going to finally relieve the tension.  

“Like I meant to,” Caroline replied, the slight smile tugging at the end of her lips was telling him otherwise.

“Maybe we should get you a stunt person if you’re going to be such a danger on-set, love?” He insisted, eventually standing up fully recovered.

“Maybe we should get you one of those protective cups for your privates, you know just in case the stunt person accidentally does the same?”  

Their mouths were now within inches of each other, their intense gaze showing no signs of faltering.

As it turned out the tension did boil over in her trailer later that day. Bets were won and the couple found ways to relieve the tension, first as a physical arrangement but then they went and fell in love.  

“Keeping our relationship out of the public eye has been amazing because we’ve been able to do things at our pace without any intrusion from the media, but it has also been the most difficult experience,” Caroline explained. “There’s only so many years of Uber Eats and Netflix I can handle.”

“Don’t forget the chill part, love,” Klaus murmured in her ear.

“Way to put me off my breakfast! Even I can hear you, Niklaus,” the familiar sound of his brother-in-law came over the speaker. 

“Well Lorenzo, maybe you two should go and do that and we can….”

“Why can’t you just put up a cute picture and caption it with a ring emoji? I know it has all been done before but…”

“Everyone is doing Instagram Live, especially during the pandemic.”

“So if they all jumped off a bridge would you do that too, Niklaus? Also, don’t forget I have your Instagram password, Nik.”

“Unbelievable! How did you…” he trailed off before Caroline intervened. 

“You don’t know mine. Look, Rebekah, we appreciate your concern but it’s time to go public. And what better time than during a world crisis? If you ask me people need some good news, now more than ever.”

“Fine, I don’t agree but if you’re going to do this you realise there’s no way to control things once you start? People will be going crazy, more so since they’ve been cooped up in isolation and had no idea you were dating let alone engaged.”  

Two hours later

“We ready to do this?” She smiled, placing her hand on his. Yes, it was a completely unusual way to announce their engagement, let alone their secret relationship.

“As much as I’ve loved having this time to get to know you,” he murmured. “I’m excited for this next stage in our lives.”

“I know, it will be nice not to have to sneak around anymore,” she shared. “Although, I’m not looking forward to the hate I’ll get from all your female fans upset you’re off the market.”

“You’re worried about my fans, yours are absolutely rabid, love.”

“Well, at least we have the Ciley fandom,” he chuckled. “What do you think they’ll call our real-life ship?”

“The fact you’re asking that means you have been cooped up in quarantine too long,” she teased.

5 minutes later

Before they’d even started to speak the love hearts were flowing in a bright array of colour and the comments began and not just a couple, thousands within the first couple of minutes.

Turns out their fans didn’t need any words to work out what was happening given their steady stream of comments.  

“Some of you might be wondering…oh looks like many of you have come to that conclusion already given the comment from @mark91,” Klaus began, “And yes, agreed, I’m a lucky dog.”

“What he’s trying to say is that…oh @jazzy39 glad you like my sweater. But…”

“I’m sorry @rayna001 but yes I’m taken,” Klaus read, a  slight chuckle escaping his lips. “Funny you should mention that actually..”

“We wanted to announce that oh @arabella5700 looks like we don’t need to do that anymore.”

They looked at each other briefly before realising their news wasn’t really theirs anymore.

“Yes, we’re engaged,” Caroline murmured feebly, holding up her left hand which keen-eyed fans had already spotted within the first 30 seconds.

“And what better way to announce it than with out fans,” Klaus smiled. “Now, if only we had our own ship name…”

“Looks like @hermione1992 has already offered an option,” Caroline interrupted. “Klaroline, mmm interesting. What do you all think of that?”

After they’d fumbled through quite a few more questions, including what her dress was going to look like and if her co-stars Katherine Pierce and Bonnie Bennett would be bridesmaids, they finished the live stream.

“OMG,” Caroline moaned, flopping onto the couch next to him. “I’m exhausted.”

“It’s like the banks of the dam have given way and…”

“All those questions, it’s like two years worth of them all stored up,” Caroline murmured. “Your sexual prowess was one of my personal favourites.”

“Which you didn’t answer,” he pouted. “People out there are going to think I’m bad.”

“Yeah, because I was going to go into that on an Instagram Live,” she muttered. “I’m sure the parents of our younger fans would love that.”

“And after all that we didn’t get to make our own announcement,” he complained. “They are an observant bunch.”

“Well, give we’re all supposed to be in lock-down I imagine us being in the same place was a dead giveaway. We are now officially hashtag klaroline though,” she giggled. “It kind of has a nice ring to it.”

His phone beeped signalling a new message, Klaus didn’t have to be a genius to realise exactly who it would be. He picked it up lazily and consulted the screen.

“So, how did that go for you?”

“She’s never going to let us live that one down,” Klaus groaned.  

[bolbianddolanhouse]

Book 3 FAQ!

Need to catch up? Heres all the previous FAQs 1 * 2 Heres the master post of all three books 1 * 2 * 3

Wow...you would think that with the whole pandemic that I’d get these chapters out faster. But alas this year got the best of me too. I’ve been a lil vulnerable in the tags with y’all and the check-in messages really touched me. So thank you very much to everyone that has checked up on me and enjoyed the chapters! I appreciate all of you :3 So lets roll out the questions!

Q: Who is Iwata based off? A: Iwata is based off my self-insert, which is also me. I know that sounds a lil narcissistic but it’s that real life reference that you’re a spitting image of your parent. Iwata was designed to look and act very similar to his mother based off that. What made him a little more original and not a copy of my self-insert is the tropes I added. I mirrored the trope of that of the relationship between Steven and his mom in Steven Universe; where he adored, then hated but then came to terms that he is not his mom but someone better. A whole journey of self-discovery and self-worth.

Q: The representation is amazing! How did you come up with these queer characters? A: Glad you liked them! Like I’ve said in previous FAQs and in the tags, all these characters were dreamt and I just build upon them in writing. So yes, most of my characters were created queer in my dreams but I make them more in depth by setting up how they discovered they’re queer. I did a bit of research on coming out stories and self-discovery epiphanies to have these characters more relatable so a fellow queer reader feels seen in a way. There’s already too much hetero works out there, I just want to gay it up in a respectful way. 

Q: The culture mixing is really good and consistent, how do you do it? A: For starters, I am latina. But the culture mixing stems from my knowledge about other cultures through language. I’ve been studying Japanese for almost a decade now and Chinese for about 4 years, so it’s no surprise that I’m referencing them in my work. Maybe what I depict isn’t what other half-Japanese half-Latinx families do, but it’s what I’d do if I started such a family. Plus there’s some overlap within those cultures and it makes it easy to put into writing.

Q: So. much. drama! Why is this book more dramatic than the previous two? A: Book 3 is were main on-going plot gets picked up more and shows signs of resolution. In book 2, it was to focus on not only Lili and the family dynamic but to remind the reader that life moved on with little resolve for the self-insert character. Iwata has a HUGE role in the resolution but in his own special way. And I’m not saying the answer is love...but it’s leaning there. 

Q: You reference specific food and snacks in this AU/ what are your favorite Cheetos? A: Like I said, I’m latina! Of course I write in the food of my home culture. Mainly the home cooked meals my mom would make for me and my siblings. It might not seem like much to the reader, but those simple meals add to the narrative of being home and traditions that help them embrace their mixed heritage. The reference of Cheetos are all over this AU because they’re my favorite hot chip. Naturally, my favorite Cheetos are the Hot con Límon with chamoy. 

Q: Love that there’s no canon character deaths in this book so far, but are there any major deaths planned? A: Just one but it’s not a tragic, hero fallen type death. It’s a natural death but it’s gonna be a tear jerker. That death won’t come until the WAY end of this AU, so I’m not gonna spoil anything yet.

Q: Can’t believe you predicted Dabi’s true identity. A: It was obvious tho. I didn’t really predict anything canon if you’re an anime only for BNHA. In this AU (without spoiling too much) there’s no Endeavor redemption and Dabi doesn’t cause that big drama on live TV. So if you’re an Endeavor hater like me, you’re gonna love what I have in store for them in the next book!

Q: I love Tenya being a dad and loving husband in this AU! Will we see more dad moments? A: Glad you like those snippets of dad Tenya! I love writing them for my own indulgence since there isn’t enough love for this character in the fandom. Plus I see a whole lot of consistent readers are Iida-stans and that makes me want to write more married fluff whenever I can.

Q: Beizu is best boi/Who is Beizu based off of? A: Beizu is the genius trope in this book. I made his character a more chill version of his mom but with that ‘who is my dad’ trope. Beizu is part of a trio that’s to mirror the agent trio of Ita, Jin and Mimi. The third member is yet to be revealed but they’re a BIG plot device in the coming book. But Beizu is one of my favorite OCs, maybe I’ll do a ranking of my OCs when everyone is introduced. 

Q: The villains and Hawks plot has me SHOOK! What’s going to happen to hero society when this case gets solved? A: Without spoiling it, the truth is going to expose the corrupt higher ups in hero society. The kids in the household has a part in taking down hero society as well but in their own, special way. Iwata has the biggest part in closing the case (but it’s spoiler if I say how), Lili and twins help tearing down minor things like education systems and laws. I will say though, the case gets resolved after the trio retires because Ita gets to return to America and found an heir to the company before they could draw to a conclusion. Which is a happy ending at the end of the storyline, no major deaths!

Q: Confirmed weddings? A: Yes :) because Lili and Iwata deserve good things and love. The twins have it easy in the coming book. Lili’s comes first and Iwata’s comes later than expected (can’t say why yet, gotta keep reading :3). I guess I can say that all of them get married but Lili’s and Iwata’s are the only queer ones. All the spouses that marry into the family take the Iida name, so Lili and Hanaka don’t change family names when they get married! Y’all already know those wedding chapters are gonna be lavish and take up most of the chapter, you’ll love them.

Q: But are the kids Joji stans? A: Oh jeez...they are the same way we like 80′s music. It’s pleasant to listen to but kinda cringe when you see your parents dance to it. I don’t really portray it, but the family digital library has all of Joji’s music in a playlist called ‘Sad hours Soundtrack’. If you ask Mr Muffins 2.0 who last listened to the playlist, they’ll snitch who and how many times it has been looped. That’s how Tenya knows who needs cheering up.

Q: I love the little references to their childhood, what else can you tell us about their pre-book childhood? A: As I said a few times in the tags, I cut a ton of stuff that isn’t relevant to the plot. Most of it was their childhood and how they manifested their quirks. Lili really liked to scream before she learned to talk, a very fast learner and at 3 years old got her engine quirk and later that year showed signs of a second quirk. Iwata was very quiet child, hardly cried or gets upset but latched on to mom a lot. His first words were in Spanish but struggled a bit with Japanese before entering kinder. Tensei was born first, then Hanaka followed 10 minutes later. Hanaka’s fire quirk manifested after the first breast feeding when she was getting burped by mom in the hospital. Mom likes to believe Tensei came out first to warn everybody that Hanaka can breathe fire. Tensei didn’t manifest his metal quirk until the age of 7, making him a very late bloomer. Though very different in personalities, Hanaka and Tensei get along and get very creative when it’s playtime. Up until the age of 5, mom would place Hanaka in kindling to get the BBQ grill or bonfire started. Hanaka has been known to randomly burst into flames as a baby, so Tensei had to sleep in a different crib for his safety. Tensei spent more time reading as a child because everyone was focused on managing Hanaka’s flames, thus making him a very studious boy.

Q: Not an AU question, but how are you doing?/ We don’t mind waiting for the chapters! Please take your time. A: I’ve been getting check ins and validation in my asks for the inconsistent schedule. Too many things came at me this year, both good and bad. I was doing well in speech and debate that I went to nationals and prepared myself for some serious competition, leaving no time to do chapters. Then I fell in and out of depressive episodes during lockdown where I’m from. In the summer my grandmother passed away from the virus in Mexico, then my beloved dog Mr Muffins passed away of old age. Those deaths hurt me and my family the most that I was having a hard time trying to cope plus trying to be responsible by adhering to CDC guidelines (I’m in the immune-comprised group). In my want to get over my grief, I trained and received my certificate in ordained ministry (yea I know that’s not the best first step, but I just needed to feel like I’ve achieved something being cooped up at home). I’ve very grateful that theres some readers that see the tags and check up on me. All your kind words gives me a little strength to write and finish every chapter at my pace.

Q: More art please? A: Yes :3 I have one coming up real soon! After the end of this book is where I’ll be releasing some art as a sort of place holder.

Q: Is the the estate drama eluding to the ending? A: Yup! And it will show up every now and then in the next book.

Q: This is a really good self insert AU! There’s complexity to your character and others...how do you write these interactions/relationships really close to actual ones? A: Thanks for the complement :3 When I first started this AU, I was in the middle of my semester of a creative writing course. Near the end of book 2 was when I finished the course work for it and by then you could see the progression in writing. ALSO, I’m a communications major as well! Writing these relationships and other social things were things that I remembered learning in my interpersonal communications class. I was a bit on fence on whether or not to start this AU because I didn’t think my writing skill was at all that good. With some encouragement from my classmates and friends, I pushed myself to write this whole AU out. I don’t plan on stopping until I finish the storyline, plus I hate leaving things unfinished.

And that wraps up this FAQ! Hopefully I got everyone’s questions since most were check-ins for me. But expect the last chapter for book 3 in the next few days. After Book 3, I’m going on a lil hiatus until the end of February. I have so many life events happening in the upcoming weeks that I’m gonna need time to recharge before resuming this AU. Y’all know I bounce back as promised, in the meantime, I have some art things queued to remind y’all that Book 4 is in the works. Only 2 more books to go! Thanks again for reading and I’ll talk you y’all again later in the tags~

-Love, Palma-sama

P.S. Heres the end of Book 3 for your connivence :3 other links are at the top of this post! 

[realmeisstuff]

This is me, but who am I?

For 24 years, I've lived to please others, follow certain standards and meet people's expectations. It made me a very calculated and uptight person. I go by the rules and plan is always a must.

I've listened too much to other people, especially my parents, and now I realize that I haven't really lived for myself. I don't really know who I am.

This pandemic made me reflect on so many things especially to those I've hidden deep within my heart. And today, I wanted to listen to myself and express the things I haven't said before.

Growing up, people tell my mom that I was boyish, and she tried all ways to change me into someone feminine. I don't blame her though, she was just doing what she think is right for me.

During my elementary days, I first had a huge crush on my sister's classmate, and she's a girl, when my mom found out, she told me that it was just an admiration, because she's pretty, and I believed her like I always do.

2 years later, I also had a crush on a boy during third grade, and my mom was so proud of me for finally liking a boy.

During fifth grade, we transferred to the province, and there I met a guy who became my biggest crush in elementary, but I never did anything for him to notice me.

In sixth grade, I met a girl, she was a transfer student from Singapore. At first, she was very shy, but when we finally had a chance to talk, we became close immediately. She's very beautiful, so almost all the guys wanted to date her.

When she became friendly with almost everyone, I started feeling jealous. And maybe that's why I pretended to be my cousin, and texted her as if I was a boy. I also gave her letters using special stationary, until she finally decided that she wanted me to be her boyfriend, but on one condition, I have to see her first.

I panicked, because it meant that I had to tell her the truth. I came up with reasons why I cannot meet her, just to delay cutting the special connection that we had.

One day, she saw the stationary, that I used for her letters, inside my bag, and she confronted me if I was "my cousin". I panicked, and told her that my cousin gave it to me, and asked me to tell her that he will go somewhere far, and that they will never be able to communicate again. She had that knowing look in her eyes, maybe she knew that I was lying, but I didn't know why I did the things I did. Our friendship slowly drifted apart ever since that day, and I know that I was the one to blame.

When I was in highschool, I was so focused in academics, because I have to prove my father wrong. All eyes were on me, and during that time I had to be almost perfect.

Highschool was also the time when I've learned about gender identity crisis, but I didn't question myself despite my doubts, because it was also during highschool when I fell for guys.

College came, and that's when I met Ann, one of the first people I met in the university. She's smart, funny and beautiful, we clicked almost immediately. I was able to tell her my life stories, but one of the first memorable things that happened between us was when she cried when she heard about the struggles I had during highschool, and why I ended taking up nursing despite wanting a different course. I wasn't even crying when I told her, but she did.

One time, I brought her to my boarding house, and we spent hours chatting. I didn't know how we ended up talking about me not experiencing my first kiss, and that's when she asked me if I wanted to practice it with her. It wouldn't be a big deal if it wasn't for my heart beating faster, my mind panicking and weird sensations I felt when she said that. I refused her offer, but I could never forget that day.

It was expected that she would have many friends because of her personality, but I wasn't ready for the jealousy that I felt.I started questioning myself if I was attracted to her. I got so confused that jokingly I asked my older sister for advice, but I didn't know that she would tell mom about it.

My mom asked me about it, and again told me the cons of being different from "normal", she's not angry, but I can see the disappointment in her eyes, and the hope that I wouldn't become like that. And I love her so so much that I couldn't bear breaking her heart because of my selfishness, and for these kind of feelings that might never be reciprocated. And so I stayed away from Ann, without telling her why.

After that, I became "normal" again by being attracted to guys and even having a boyfriend. Any doubts in my mind were easily forgotten because of my college life. Although during one of my drunken moments, I asked my lesbian classmate if I should consider being a lesbian (as if it could be chosen), and she told me, "If you have a choice, don't. It's difficult to live this way." That left a mark.

But then 3rd year came, we were required to open up and dig deep within ourselves for our psych rotation. At first, I already decided on what to share, but of course it would be very limited because I don't like sharing things about me. Before my turn, my gay classmate opened up how he came out to his parents and accepted that he's gay. I didn't know why that gave me courage to speak out about the confusion I have ever since.

I was trembling as I told them my story, and my doubts, and how I can't explore, because I might find the confirmation and that it would break my mother's heart. They we're all shocked, because I never showed anything that would make them doubt my preference, and that's how I realize how good I was at hiding myself.

But then, my prof told me that I should seek and find out who I am, but her next advice hurts me a little bit, she said that if possible, she hope that I would prefer a guy, because it's a shame to waste my genes. And all of my groupmates, agreed.

College became tougher, and I was so focused on my ambition that I've disregarded the need to explore and find what relationship I wanted. It was easier to focus on my career, and relationship became unimportant for me. I would rather be single and stay independent.

Many things happened, and I was considering to stay single for life, because I felt that it was easier. Also, it would give me more chance to give back to my parents and give them the life they wanted for me.

I even learned how to ignore the attraction that I've felt towards my senior nurse, until she resigned, and I wouldn't see her anymore.

I felt that I was already happy just being with my family. But then life started to change, I had to move away from home so that I could be closer to my workplace. My sisters got boyfriends, and this pandemic makes me overthink a lot.

I was scared of dying without giving myself a chance to love, and be loved for who I really am. I was scared to lose the opportunity to face my true self.

Who are you Mei? Would you ever experience real love?

[talktothesun]

 I’ve been wanting to make this post for a while. Here’s a few reasons and a backstory.

Being a teenager in a time where social media was so prominent, I easily found myself in a place where I was the most happy. I made friends through forms of social media, and I found things that I enjoyed through social media and the Internet. Being a female teenager, I discovered so many things I loved and enjoyed. One of which was music–specifically boybands.

To name a few: One Direction, 5 Seconds of Summer, the Naked Brothers Band (lol), Jonas Brothers, R5, etc. I was a happy stan. My personality derived from stan culture, book culture, Internet culture. I went to concerts, I stayed up listening to albums, the songs became the anthem to my life, and I fell in love with these people that I would never meet.

As I grew older, I slowly started to step away from that life. It wasn’t something that I identified with. The bands I loved broke up, and the music became “too mainstream” for me. I had the idea that I needed to be unique. Liking boybands was not unique, apparently to fifteen-year-old me.

 I stepped away from stan culture, and I never listened to boyband music in the way that I used to: to the point where I let it become my life. So for years, I listened to other types of music, and I grew a love for musicals and Broadway.

But this quarantine had me in a whirlwind. I didn’t realize that I was trying to find something to ground me to the point where I had accidentally reverted back to that life I used to live.

It may sound dramatic, but through my reflection for the past few months, I realized how internally repressed I was in terms of how I restricted myself from enjoying the things I like.

At the beginning of quarantine, I found some videos of BTS on Tik Tok, and I was curious. I always saw them on social media, but I was never the type to like K-pop. My cousin was an avid K-pop listener growing up, and I used to listen to Shinee and Girls Generation when she would play her music. The kind of music they had just never appealed to me. So I decided, let me listen to some of their songs. I never consumed anything of theirs, so I looked for the song that they were dancing to on Tik Tok, and I found Boy With Luv, ft. Hasley. 

Looking back on it, I’m glad this was my first song. I never realized how upbeat it was until I listened to their entire discography. I needed a song like Boy With Luv in my life–a song to take away the anxiety and sadness of quarantine and a whole pandemic.

A few months later, I have almost listened to their entire discography. I have consumed so many of their RUN BTS videos and compilations. I stayed up to watch Bang Bang Con, I woke up early as fuck to watch Yoongi’s newly released music video, and D-2 is my favorite mixtape ever.

Confession: after finding Boy With Luv, I actually started watching their videos, like RUN BTS or BV. I didn’t actually listen to any of their music until a friend of mine, who has stanned BTS since 2016 compiled a whole recommendation playlist for me, which is a top tier playlist.

Their videos will remain the thing that I’m the most grateful for. At this point, I was home during Spring Break, and I was struggling with my anxiety for the next quarter. I wasn’t sure about my job situation and how I was going to deal with this “new normal.” I found solace through watching their videos because, for a ten minutes, I could forget all the anxiety and nervousness I had for the coming months and simply laugh with them.

After a few days of watching their funny videos, I finally listened to some of their music. Ironically, I never really liked rap music. I always said that I could never understand what rappers were saying because of how fast they spoke, which deterred me from listening to it. A lot of the rap music that I was surrounded by was music about drugs, sex, and alcohol, courtesy of my sister. So I already had a bad perception of rap music before I started listening to BTS.

However, one of the first songs I listened to was Intro: Persona. Let me tell you, I will sing this song at the top of my lungs now. There was something so comforting in reading the lyrics while listening to the audio. It was like Namjoon was reading out his story to me. Now, it’s become my song—the song I go to when I’m struggling mentally, when I need a pick-me-up, when I just need to listen to something to make me feel something other than the dark pit of my soul.

(With English rap music, I felt lazy trying to decipher what they were saying, so I never tried to find out what they said. With BTS, since I only know English, hearing them rap in Korean made me want to look up what they’re saying. By doing so, I felt so much more connected to the music.)

It’s crazy how easily music can have an influence in a person’s life.

These past few months have taken a large toll on me. I feel inadequate, restless, anxious, depressed, amongst other things. I feel out of place in my own skin, I’ve been rethinking a lot of things, and I haven’t found a solace in my actual life. But through music, through this band, I did find something. I joke around about doing things to “feel something.” But listening to BTS has made me feeling something. It may not be a lot, but it works.

In my anxious times, I’ll play a Yoongi or Namjoon song. When I’m happy, I’ll play a rap line playlist. When I feel a little down, I’ll play a vocal line ballad. I found a playlist to my soul that defines me as who I am right now. And perhaps this is a “phase” or whatever because of quarantine, but I’ve never been more grateful for something to hold on to.

[itsdaggerandsheath]

An Introduction to Sex

               Everyone has an “introduction to sex”. The most of us are not born and raised in households where sex is openly talked or taught about, therefore we must be introduced to it in some way. Usually first by word of mouth from parents, friends on the playground, or maybe a school health class. Typically when it comes to parents and health classes though, you only learn about sex in terms of reproduction and looking at scary pictures of genitalia with STI’s meant to scare you into abstaining. Then, as you get a bit older, you may be introduced to sex as an “activity” through your friends, the Internet, porn, etc. And then, of course, you’re introduced to sex when you start having it, should you choose to. Everyone has different introductions to sex, but I feel the need to document mine because 1.) I feel that it will help explain why I’m so passionate about sex education if I document my experiences with sex from the very beginning and 2.) my “introductions” were hilarious, and since we’re in the middle of the COVID-19 pandemic, I wanted to write something with a bit of humor to hopefully make you laugh and provide you with a bit of a distraction from the end of the world.                So. Let’s start from when I was about four years old, when I began to learn about sex for the sake of reproduction. I’m not a parent, but I imagine there are times when parents say something horrible to their young children thinking “they won’t remember this when they’re older,” which is what I’m sure my mother was thinking when she was teaching me about sex when I was little. Unfortunately (for me) she was wrong, and I remember every…weird little detail.              I was a very curious child. I don’t remember why I was so curious with the idea of where babies came from; maybe I saw it as a joke on a TV show or movie or something. But for some reason, I was infatuated with the idea for as long as I can remember (perhaps this was an early sign that I was meant to pursue sex education all along). I was constantly asking my poor mother, “Mommy, where do babies come from?” And by constantly, I mean, probably every day. Even after she explained it to me, I would continue to ask for more details; I continued to ask her as the years went by because her explanation just didn’t make sense to me. Basically, what she told me (and remember, I was four) was that when a mommy and a daddy get married (marriage was always emphasized) and they want to have a baby, the daddy will give the mommy his “daddy juice” (yes, that is actually what she called it) and this “daddy juice” turns into a baby in the mommy’s belly.              It’s going to be very hard to type this all out without cringing.              Since I was four at the time, this answer made sense the first time I heard it. As time went on though, I found myself asking more questions. One time, I saw my cat outside “wrestling” with another cat, and a few weeks later, we had kittens; how had that happened? Why did the boys and men in my life face the toilet when they peed? Where did “daddy juice” come from and how did it get into a mommy’s belly to make a baby?! I demanded answers. (Now my only question is why the hell did my mom refer to semen as “daddy juice”?!)              I can’t remember where my mom got “The Miracle of Life” videotape from. Did we just so happen to have it? Did she rent it from the library or Blockbuster because I’d just kept asking? I’m not sure. All I remember is her handing me a video tape (I’m not that old, I promise) and telling me that if I watched and paid attention, it would give me some answers. By the time she let me watch the tape, I was seven years old and had some mild knowledge on reproductive anatomy; that females had vaginas and periods, and that males had penises and did not have periods, though this was the extent of my knowledge (granted, that’s more than most seven year olds know). However, this was enough for me to understand most of what was going on as I watched the tape.                Most.                Now, there’s pros and cons to me having seen this video tape. A pro is that my mom didn’t try to spin some story about how the stork delivers babies; she allowed me to know the truth. A con though is that my mother wasn’t the one who told me the truth: a video tape was. I can’t remember if I asked my mom any more questions after watching the tape or if any sort of conversation was had with me, but I do remember that she told me not to tell any of my friends about what I’d learned - presumably because she didn’t want me to be “that kid” who goes around and tells all the other kids about sex before their parents told them.                So, of course, I totally was that kid.                I remember being in my back yard playing on the swing set a few days later with a friend of mine at the time, and when I told her that I knew the secret to where babies came from, her eyes widened through her purple glasses and her mouth with several missing teeth fell wide open.               “You do?” She asked, lowering her voice, knowing that what we were discussing was top secret material.                In my second grade vernacular, I explained to her that babies came from “a boy putting his private part in the girl’s private part.”                “Which one?” My friend asked, referring to the fact that, from what we knew at the time, “girls have two holes” (we now know that females have three, but remember, we were seven at the time).                “I think the first one,” I’d said, referring to the vagina, as I didn’t know what a urethra was at the time.                This friend and I then made it our life’s mission to spread this new information to every one of our friends. Partly because it was rebellious and mischievous and fun, but also because I personally felt like it was something that my friends needed to know, because their parents were lying to them about where babies came from. I really was meant to go into sex education from the very beginning.               My mom never found out I’d told all my friends about sex, which was a sweet victory to me at the time. (She also doesn’t know that I have a sex education blog that I share with all of you, which is also quite the victory).                Then we get to how I learned about sex as an “activity” or something that people do “for fun”, which I’ll mostly discuss in Part 2, but I’ll give you a little taste of it here too. I’m gonna circle back to the idea of my mom saying things to me that she figured I probably wouldn’t remember as I got older that sure as shit, I did, and shutter at to this day. One such conversation went a little something like this when I was about eight:              “But how does the penis get into the vagina? Do you have to lay down or sit up, or…?”              My mom shrugged, “You can do it standing up…” She trailed before taking a sip of her coffee.              That’s an image I’ll never get out of my head.              My mom and dad got divorced when I was very young, to the point where I don’t even remember most of it. My mom didn’t date very much before she got married again to my stepdad over a decade after her first marriage had ended, but at the time of the conversation I’m about to document, she’d been in a relationship with a guy who for the sake of privacy, we’ll call Tod. To provide some context, my mom and Tod were pretty serious at the time, to the point where there was talk of moving in together and marriage. I was about nine at the time and suffered from really awful nightmares, so I was sleeping in my mom’s bed with her a lot and Tod never stayed the night (because my mom didn’t want her kids to see a man she wasn’t married to spending the night with her after she’d told us time and time again that married people don’t stay the night together, even though my dad and his girlfriend weren’t married at the time and they lived together, so I don’t understand why she shoved that down our throats so much when we already knew it wasn’t true). However, with the idea of my mom and Tod potentially getting married, my mom was trying to talk to me about sleeping in my own room again.                “You’re not gonna be able to fit into the bed with me if Tod and I get married and he’s sleeping with me,” She’d explained.                I’d shrugged, “I’ll just sleep on the floor.”               “What if we wanna have sex and we can’t because you’re in the room?”               “I thought you said Tod’s sperm didn’t work anymore.”               By this time, I’d learned the word “sperm” and as my mom and Tod had gotten more serious, there came the question of whether or not they’d have any more kids – my mom had me and my sister, and Tod had two children of his own, but would they want any together? My mom explained to me that Tod’s “sperm didn’t work anymore”, which I now assume means he got a vasectomy, and my mom was adamant about not having any more children anyway (this was a couple years before my brother came along; his dad was not Tod, so that’s a story for another time).                “Not sex to have a baby; sex for fun.”                Confused, I asked, “People have sex for fun?”                “Yeah, you didn’t know that?”                I was nine.                I realize I’m portraying my mother like she’s a horrible person, which she isn’t; I love my mother very much, these were just not some of her best moments…               So then, of course, I told all of my friends that grownups sometimes have sex just for fun. I had no idea how it worked, just that it was a thing that happened.               Then, I entered fifth grade, which was the grade that my school began giving us the talk in our health classes about sex. What this entailed was separating the boys and girls, the girls being taught this information by a female teacher and the boys being taught by a male teacher. Some of this information was actually quite useful; we learned about puberty, developing breasts, periods and period products (and how to use them), as well as what little anatomy we needed to know about when it came to sex for the purpose of reproduction. However, there was one fatal flaw.               I was sitting next to a friend of mine – the same friend with the purple glasses who I’d first told about sex when we were seven. Now, we were ten, and learning about a lot of things that we already knew about, which gave us a bit of an advantage, as I’d caught the flaw in the school nurse’s explanation of where babies came from. She did tell us that sperm goes into the vagina, finds an egg in the ovaries, and that the sperm and ovary will eventually form into a baby. However, she didn’t explain where the sperm came from! The fact that sperm comes from a penis and that, in most instances, pregnancy occurs from a penis going into a vagina, was never mentioned.              It was clear that she was intentionally not telling us this, which I immediately knew was wrong.              I was a little asshole at the time, and was this close to raising my hand and asking the school nurse “How does sperm get into the vagina?” even though I already knew the answer, when another girl raised her hand and asked the question instead, and it was obvious that she really didn’t know. My school nurse, her face turning as red as her bright red hair, then very quickly and hurriedly explained to us that sperm comes from a penis and (since we were too young to understand IVF) that pregnancy occurs when a penis goes into a vagina, and sperm leaves the penis and goes into the uterus through the vagina.             I was still an asshole though and dared to raise my hand and ask, “Is it true that people have sex for fun too?” I knew the answer to this question as well, and so did my friend sitting next to me; we just wanted to know what she’d say.            “Uh…y-yes, s-some people do it for fun, yes. There’s even a little piece of plastic you can put on the penis to prevent sperm from getting into the vagina, so you won’t get pregnant.”            This was news to me. That was all my school nurse said about condoms; she never even said the word “condom”. However, this didn’t faze me at the time. Instead, I simply looked at my friend next to me and we snickered together, like the little assholes we were.          As puberty came along, my curiosity about sex only grew. And do you think I got a good education about it in school? Nope. Not a bit. So where did I get my information from? Friends? No, I was the friend that was relaying the information. Porn? Not necessarily…         Fanfiction.         Yes, as much as it pains me to say it, I got a good chunk of my sex education from Fanfiction. And a bit of Tumblr and YouTube as well, but we’ll discuss that a bit more in Part 2…         In the meantime though, what was your introduction to sex like? Was it as ridiculous and cringey as mine? Did your parents tell you the truth about sex, or did they make up some absurd story? Please feel free to tell me your stories in the comments here or on my Instagram page @daggerandsheath                                                         I love you all and stay safe during this difficult time!

-          Dagger and Sheath                

[monkeywithanxiety]

Anxiety Diary, Day 25 (11/10/2021)

Weird notes to self. This isn't anxiety-related, just an auto analysis. Maybe a pros and cons list?

Okay, like, there is this boy in my current new group of friends. He is super cool and we are close, but there is nothing to him I think. We have spent a lot of time together and he tends to sleep here now and then because the uber drivers decided they can't be bothered to work at night and it's dangerous to walk alone. Nothing special about it as well.

He used to have a girlfriend. I met her and she was super nice, enough that I think we could have been friends in different scenarios (or even in this one, if she had a similar mindset to mine). But they weren't happy anymore and we had talked about it a lot of times about it and how he didn't want to end things because of the comfort zone and to prevent hurting her feelings before important exams, something I can understand.

However, two weeks ago she broke up with him, by text, and, obviously, he got very upset. We ended up making out the same day, for no specified reason and I think that can be considered an ass move on my part, especially since I tend to forget that people don't work how my previous relationship worked.

But I am not bothered by the moral implications of my actions, since I have to debts to her or to him and all that. He ended up telling her about it and she came to talk to me and it was really weird and his decision upset me a little.

This is just the background.

The thing is this held no meaning for me other than I probably will end up rethink my sexuality a little more.

I have been very clear from the beginning this wasn't healthy for him and that he doesn't need a new emotional attachment to take the space the other occupied and it didn't bother me he was using me for that, since I have no feelings for him and was also using him in a moment of vulnerability in a way. But, as expected, things developed and he won't stop dropping hints he wants something serious and I don't know what to think about it.

We had this conversation a few days later on how I can't have an interest in him since it's so recent and it's not about me. The one least thing I can expect from a relationship is someone who likes me. And I have nothing to gain on an emotional level from it. However, he hasn't given up and we kept making out now and then.

I don't know what to think. In a way, I love the cuddles and I love the comfort and I know how hard giving up on that can be. Being with him feels like we have been together for years and have an intimacy level it takes years to achieve. However, it feels kinda weird. It just doesn't have that punch, that first few months of passion and crazy attraction just aren't there. Do I want to enter a relationship and go straight up to the comfort zone? I don't think it would make me happy.

In another hand, I think I lost a little of that block I had before that didn't let me see other people and got me all anxious. Now, it seems like a huge weight fell out of my back and even though I don't think I'd actively look for it, I think I want and I can give myself the chance to have fun and have new experiences without worrying too much.

I don't think I am at a comfortable point to be emotionally responsible for someone, even if we are in a position that would work well and we had the same limitations. However, I do want to have the comfort, to have someone to rely on, but I'd have to give up on the other things to have that. I can't be too selfish to wish both, unless I get to deconstruct a lot of stuff in myself and make other people really cool about some things really fast.

The fact that basically everyone else in the friendship group is dating (I am calling it the pandemic effect) and I suppose heterosexual and it adds pressure. My family wanting me to find someone else doesn't help either. And the fact that I know I will be super judged when it comes out, rather I end up dating or not, is annoying just to think of it.

Why can't people just go with the flow? I have too much more important to worry about than that. I am happy enough with things how they are and I am open to talk about anything as things come to get things straight. It's been like two weeks, dude. Why do I need to label things? Why do you want me to choose now? We haven't even figured our friendship out. I don't want to choose wrong and lose that too.

[rotationalsymmetry]

What I personally am doing in terms of covid (as a fully vaccinated person in a state that is about 50% fully vaccinated) is: wearing masks in public indoor locations, generally speaking, and avoiding crowded indoor locations (including public transit) until the population vaccination rate is at 70%. I’m still washing or sanitizing my hands after coming back home, and wiping down my phone if I took it out outside, although at this point that’s probably more general disease prevention than covid.

This is different from my pre-vaccinated behavior, where I wore masks indoors 100% of them time and outdoors very close to all the time. I can count on one hand the number of non-essential trips I took during the entire year and a quarter. (Not counting, like, walking around the neighborhood without going into anywhere.) Anything outside of walking distance involved renting a zipcar; there was exactly one time when the zipcar fell through that I went in a rideshare instead. No public transit. Two trips out of town: one to see my husband’s mom where we maintained social distance, one to a cabin out in the woods. (I was gonna say no interstate trips to see family, but technically my mother-in-law lives in a different state. No interstate trips to see my family.) Absolutely no plane trips, anyways. No restaurants, indoors or out — just takeout or delivery.

This is the longest I’ve ever been in my life without being in the same room as a member of my family. I have a cousin who postponed her wedding. (The celebration part, not the legal part.) None of this was easy. But I feel assured that it was the right thing to do.

Over the 4th I’m going to see family several hours away. My partner and I talked about taking the train, and decided not to, due to the large number of people in a confined space issue. (I’m concerned that my chronic illness puts me at higher risk, so that was a factor.) We’re driving instead.

I don’t, personally, think the CDC is making a bad call on its recommendations. I think it’s pushing hard for people to get vaccinated, which is a good thing: the vaccines are shown to be incredibly effective for keeping people from getting sick, and pretty darned effective at preventing spread. I think the best thing we can do at this point is get vaccinated, encourage/provide logistical support to help everyone we know get vaccinated (if there isn’t eg a medical reason not to), and maintain caution around events and activities that are highest risk (indoor crowds)… but I don’t think there’s any logical reason for us to act as though nothing has changed since before the vaccines started getting distributed. In the US, the number of new daily cases is the lowest it’s been since March, 2020. We’re in the low three digits. Down from a high in the thousands in January.

From where I stand, it’s about the numbers. A lot of people, myself included, were warning against traveling for Thanksgiving and Christmas. And cases went way up after Thanksgiving, and then kept going even higher in the couple weeks after Christmas, which seems like a pretty clear cause-effect relationship to me. New cases have been consistently and sharply going down since the vaccines started rolling out. There hasn’t been a trend back up with the CDC and individual states releasing restrictions. It’s OK. It’s worth being a bit cautious, again I personally am avoiding public transit and air plain travel still and I’m not going to be going to any big concerts or sporting events or cons any time soon. But…to me the numbers are pretty clearly indicating it’s ok to relax a bit, for people who want to do that. Go to stores. Go to restaurants. Small get-togethers with friends and family. Swimming pools. If you personally want to be more cautious that’s fine. But I don’t think the evidence supports telling other people who are vaccinated that they have a moral obligation to act like they’re not, to act like nothing has changed. Even though, yes, people follow other people’s cues and are more likely to not wear a mask if no one else is either. If you know someone who’s doing that you can have a heart to heart with them and you can refuse to go places with them. You can refuse to enable behavior that’s risky. But…the numbers are going down. Mass vaccination is working. It’s a working strategy. This thing where people are “nah, the CDC just doesn’t understand human nature” the numbers are down the numbers are way down the CDC is fine.

(It’s true there’s a recent rise in UK cases, although that’s relative to a few months of low case rates. It is worth paying attention to these things, and I’m not saying it’s impossible for cases to rise again in the US or that we shouldn’t reevaluate if it does. I just don’t think I personally am responsible for the behavior of other people who can’t figure out that you have to 1. Either get vaccinated or 2. Act like you’re still not vaccinated, you know, like you should have been this entire past year — especially since a lot of those people have never been acting particularly safely or cautiously this entire time. If me being careful meant that everyone else would be careful too, this whole pandemic would have gone a lot differently. I can control my own behavior, and I have some influence over the behavior of people I know and spend time with. But no amount of caution on my part is going to make people who think it’s fine to go to mega church worship or whatever stop doing that. They’ve been doing that this entire time. I do not have the power to stop them. And I’m not going to deny myself the pleasure of getting to walk around a real actual physical bookstore for the first time in a year or leisurely enjoying a mug of tea at a cafe or seeing my baby nephew a few states over because other people don’t have self control. I am going to base my risk assessment on what I think is appropriate for me and the people I love. Not based on what I think someone who hasn’t been vaccinated should be doing.)

(I hear a lot of people working retail/food service etc and people who are housebound have been having a lot of trouble getting vaccinated, although that information is kind of a month old and might not be current. If you know someone who’s been having trouble getting vaccinated and you can help them get an appointment or find a walk in or get a ride there, do that. Vaccination works. Herd immunity works. Right now hitting herd immunity as fast as possible is going to be a lot more effective than trying to peer-pressure covid truthers into wearing masks. We haven’t been able to do that at any point in the pandemic. It’s not going to get any easier now.) (Also, keep washing your hands, protect immunocompromised people who can die from stuff you’d shake off with a week of over-the-counter meds and some sleep. If one good thing comes out of this I hope it’s people keeping ramped up disease prevention practices. Including the invisible ones that it’s hard to shame people over. I know some of you are fixated on masks because that’s what you can see.)

[cosplayinamerica]

In 2014 I traveled around the United States photographing cosplayers in various cities. I spent a week in Nashville checking out the local scene and visiting around seven cosplayers. Pepper was one of them.

Hi Pepper, it’s been a long time since we spoke, why don’t you tell us a bit about yourself ?

I started out just being that shy weird redhead in middle school who loved anime and dressed weird, but as I grew and continued to watch anime and got into other shows one of my friends told me there was an anime convention in town called MTAC and asked if I wanted to go.

We only went for the day, but that was my first time ever seeing cosplay. It was back when you couldn’t find good wigs or patterns, and you just had to make it up as you went, but I absolutely fell in love with it and decided that I would do that too.

I definitely didn’t know that 18 years later I would still be doing it and still love it just as much.

So in 2014, I was in Nashville and you were kind enough to invite me to photograph some behind the scenes at your place. Tell me what you were working on ?

I was working on a Vaporeon dress for MTAC that year. Not for a group, but just because I love Vaporeon and was inspired by all of the Pokemon gijinka cosplays I had started to see pop up.  I believe I had just left college and moved back home to Nashville. I didn’t have any kind of plan for what I wanted to do yet so I was just going with the flow. I remember I had a terrible job that I hated back then so cosplay and sewing was a great outlet for me. MTAC was something that I looked forward to every year. It was my home con, and that’s where I made a lot of new friends and created a new con family.

Well, six years passed and it seems the world has changed. How has your experience in cosplay changed over time and what have you noticed different in the overall cosplay scene between say 2014 and 2019.

I feel like the con scene has exploded in popularity in the last 6 years. What used to be considered dorky and “uncool” is now looked at as amazing and super awesome which I’m definitely okay with. I love that our con culture is getting bigger and more accepted as “normal” society. But with the good also comes the bad. I feel that 6 years ago cosplayers were more open to complimenting each other on their work, and encouraging each other to do costumes. I remember being given tips and tricks openly and freely from cosplayers who had way more experience in sewing and crafting than I did.

Today I feel like some cosplayers don’t want to see others succeed. A lot of people are still very open and encouraging and welcoming to the cosplay scene, but there are a lot of “elitists” out there that think you shouldn’t cosplay a character just because you don’t look like a character, or don’t have the same body type, skin color, or maybe even mobility or because you have a lot of tattoos, and I hate that.

I truly believe cosplay is for EVERYONE who wants to do it. We don’t own the characters, but we love them. Every time you cosplay as someone from your favorite show (be it anime, comics, movies, books etc) it’s because you formed a bond with that character. It drives you to do the best you can with your skills and I think putting a costume that you worked on or bought and walking around a con is brave and should be something that everyone is allowed and welcome to do. Remember at the end of the day we’re all just geeks in costumes having fun!

In your time doing cosplay, what would you say is your greatest achievement ?

It would definitely be at DragonCon 2017, when I was chosen to cosplay as Gwen Stacey from Spiderman and ride in the DragonCon parade with Stan Lee as the Grand Marshall. It was the most spectacular moment of my life. I had never been able to meet him before, and I can’t believe how incredibly lucky I was to sit next to him for the whole parade. He was so sweet, and also super hilarious. He talked to me and my contest mate (Ginger Oh Snap as MJ) the whole time like we were people he just hadn’t seen in a while. I’ll never ever forget it. I will definitely never be able to thank everyone who voted for me to win that contest enough

What’s your greatest struggle now (cosplay or life-wise)

Well I guess just right now the struggle is not being able to see my con family because of the pandemic. I probably won’t get to see them until next year and I don’t think I’ve gone a whole year in the last 10 years without seeing them at least once. At the beginning of all of this I was getting very depressed with all the cancellations (though for good reasons) but, life wise I’ve been doing a lot of online stuff with my cosplay between Instagram, Facebook, and creating an Only Fans page with my best friend. It’s been a great way to have a place to show off the costumes we won’t get to wear out this year, and just get my creative juices flowing again.

Now with so many years of experience, what advice would you give your younger self about cosplay, cosplay scene or convention life ?

I would definitely tell myself not to take it too seriously. You don’t have to make every single thing for your cosplay. People aren’t going to call you out for not being 100% made from scratch. Don’t stress out that you can’t find the right fabric or the right wig. Don’t even think about not doing a costume just because someone else has done it really well and you think yours won’t look as good. And if anyone does call you out for having bought your costume online don’t take it to heart, because at the end of the day it doesn’t matter. As long as you feel great wearing your cosplay and are having fun that is really all that matters.