#I will be dying a thousand deaths the whole time

[housepilled]

hilson coded jason isbell songs…save me..

[neil-gaiman]

this may come off very blunt and out of the blue, but i need an answer and i can't ask anyone i know, so i apologise profusely if you find this derogatory in any way possible.

i'm 14 and i found out what death means when i was 3 and living with my grandparents. i figured that when someone dies, you can't see them anymore. you can't talk to them, you can't laugh with them. they aren't there anymore. and i cried. i cried so hard i vomited.

ever since i've struggled to think about death and what lies beyond. i'm scared. of growing up, of dying, of seeing people around me die. and i don't know what to do.

i know this will likely get lost among the hundreds of thousands of asks in you inbox, but if by fate you read this, please tell me

how does it feel when someone you know dies?

hank you, and i apologise once again if this is disrespectful. i know it's a pretty deranged thing to ask, especially to a well-known writer who has gone through life. i'm sorry if this brings up sad memories, but i need an answer.

all the best to you and everyone around you, mr neil.

Mostly it feels terrible. It even feels terrible when it’s someone who has been in a lot of pain for a long time or has not really been there for a long time and you know that Death has in some ways been a blessing: suddenly you are mourning the whole person.

It doesn’t get easier as you age. It gets stranger. The point where you realise how many people you used to know and like who aren’t there any longer, and you cannot talk to them or see them or laugh with them is painful in a way that I had never expected. The first time that someone you had a romantic relationship with dies and you realise that there had been moments both of you shared and now you are the sole custodian of those moments and one day you will be gone and they will be lost forever is peculiarly strange and hard.

But there is a comfort. And it’s the realisation that you aren’t alone in any of this. Everybody who lives will die. And we are here and doing things because other people died to make room for us, and we in our turn will die to make room for our children and their children and on and on.

[trynafindbarbiee]

A POWERFUL MEDITATION TECHNIQUE TO ENTER

THE VOID STATE INSTANTLY

Radiant One, this experience may dawn between two breaths

After breath comes in – that is, down – and just before turning out – that is, going up – The Beneficence. Be aware between these two points, and the happening. When your breath comes in, observe. For a single moment, there is no breathing – before it turns up, before it turns outward. One breath comes in; then there is a certain point and breathing stops. Then the breathing goes out. When the breath goes out, then again for a single moment, breathing stops. Then breathing comes in.

Before the breath is turning in or turning out, there is a moment when you are not breathing. In that moment the happening is possible, because when you are not breathing you are not in the world. Understand this: when you are not breathing you are dead; you ARE still, but dead. But the moment is of such a short duration that you never observe it.

Each outgoing breath is a death and each new breath is a rebirth. Breath coming in is rebirth; breath going out is death. The outgoing breath is synonymous with death; the incoming breath is synonymous with life. So with each breath you are dying and being reborn. The gap between the two is of a very short duration, but keen, sincere observation and attention will make you feel the gap. If you can feel the gap, Then nothing else is needed. You are blessed, you have known; the thing has happened.

Try it. Suddenly you will get the point – and you can get it; it is already there. Nothing is to be added to you or to your structure, it is already there. Everything is already there except a certain awareness.

SO HOW TO DO THIS ?

First, become aware of the breath coming in. Watch it. Forget everything, just watch breath coming in – the very passage.

When the breath touches your nostrils, feel it there. Then let the breath move in. Move with the breath fully consciously. When you are going down, down, down with the breath, do not miss the breath. Do not go ahead and do not follow behind, just go with it. Remember this: do not go ahead, do not follow it like a shadow; be simultaneous with it.

Breath and consciousness should become one. The breath goes in – you go in. Only then will it be possible to get the point which is between two breaths.

Be aware. When the breath is going in move with it, and when the breath is going out move with it. Do simply this: going in, going out, with the breath.

You will suddenly become aware that there is no breath, and the moment will come when you will feel that the breath is neither going out nor coming in. The breath has stopped completely. In that stopping, The Beneficence.

This one technique is enough for millions. The whole of Asia tried and lived with this technique for centuries. Tibet, China, Japan, Burma, Thailand, Ceylon – the whole of Asia except India has tried this technique. Only one technique and thousands and thousands have attained enlightenment through it.

-- From The Book of Secrets

NOW , HOW YOU CAN USE THIS TO ENTER THE VOID :

Sit or Lay down in a comfortable position

Now start Focusing on your breath Be aware. When the breath is going in move with it, and when the breath is going out move with it. Do simply this: going in, going out, with the breath.

You will suddenly become aware that there is no breath, and the moment will come when you will feel that the breath is neither going out nor coming in. The breath has stopped completely.

Whilst doing this you will notice that ur body is now completely numb , there r NO intrusive thoughts etc..and this is the time when u gotta affirm for void AND I KID YOU NOT U R GONNA ENTER THE VOID INSTANTLY , mark my words , INSTANTLY !

That's it ! This is the most easiest and yet the most powerful technique u can use to enter the void I SWEAR !! ♡

[honourablejester]

I just want to dwell a little bit on the raw awe that the Webb telescope pictures evoke in me. We built a thing, we spent 20 years building a thing, and we flung it over a million kilometres away, and the thing we built takes … pictures of infinity. Pictures of 13 billion years in the past, pictures of the birth and death of stars, galaxies colliding, snapshots of other worlds. Lightyears of distance, aeons of time, glories almost beyond imagining.

This is a thing humanity can do. We can pool imagination, we can pool resources, we can devote decades of our lives, to building a camera that can photograph infinity. We can reach out, fling a piece of ourselves, our ingenuity, our dedication, our collaboration, our imagination, and create a lens so that we can see, we can touch …

There are people who say that pictures like this make them feel small, so tiny in comparison to the vastness that’s out there, but we touched that vastness. We took its picture. We put our palms on the panes of infinity. We flung a tiny tiny fragile machine, a collection of mirrors and motors and shields and fuel, out into the absolute vastness of space, more than a million kilometers distant, and took a picture of a dying star orbiting its partner two thousand lightyears away.

I mean, yes, we are tiny, we are incomprehensibly tiny, and so is everything we do and everything we build. But all that shows is that something so tiny can still do that. Can reach that far. Can witness that much.

We are incomprehensibly tiny and an incomprehensible miracle, that we can be so tiny in all this vastness, that everything we witness in these pictures aligned in such a way that we could form, and that in response, as tiny as we are, we can think and imagine and create on a scale that can … witness the universe right back. Touch it. Focus its light into an image of a billion, thirteen billion years ago. Share that image with a billion other minds.

We can see wonders. Absolute wonders. On a scale to beggar meaning. What more purpose do we need than that?

Sorry. Just. Sometimes science does something that just … wraps a whole fist around your heart and just goes … this is what wonder is. The wonder of the universe. And the wonder of us. This is what wonder feels like. This is what awe feels like.

This is what it feels like to be tiny. This is what it feels like to be infinite.

I love the stars so much.

[eriexplosion]

Tech Lives: An Ungodly Long Essay

(AKA: Turns out that my Tech Lives compilation post comment was actually a threat.)

There have been hundreds if not thousands of posts since Plan 99 aired wondering if Tech might have made it after his fall - it's probably been brought up more than any other hanging plot point, even after season 2 scooped up Omega and left us on a massive cliffhanger. Now that season 3 has started, though, Omega and Crosshair are home (for now) but we have received an almost aggressive lack of Tech info. So, I've gathered up some of the stronger Evidence for why Tech might be fashionably late but still on his way back from The Void!

THE LEAD UP

So to start, let's go back to what came before the whole Incident. This will focus mostly on season 2, seeing as that was definitely Tech's season to shine, but with bits about plotlines in season 1. Which brings us to our first bit, that's not really evidence so much as some gentle push-back on a common argument.

Doomed By Character Development?

We've all seen this particular situation before - a character is slated for a tragic death, so just before it happens the writers gives them a little extra relevance to the plot to make sure the audience really feels it when the time comes. The Clone Wars was especially good at this, giving characters like Fives an arc of his own that ended in his tragic death. Season 7 gave us a better look at Jesse, first in the Bad Batch's intro arc and then again through the Siege of Mandalore, all to bring us to the chip activation that led to his ultimate death.

When season 2 started off with one of the two intro episodes spotlighting Tech and our first breather episode of the season also spotlighting him, people started to get worried. So is it fair to say that his spotlight in season 2 was setting him up for a permadeath?

Looking at it, I don't think so, for multiple reasons. For one, Tech didn't just get a spotlight episode, his development dominated a good chunk of the whole damned season, often taking priority over the other characters that wouldn't be dropped into the mists. While giving a little bit of character development to a doomed character can be a good move, giving ALL your development to a doomed character ends up feeling like a good portion of your season was actively pointless.

The Bad Batch is not an open ended show. It seems to have been planned for the three seasons it got, and they would have gone into it knowing they had a set amount of time to work with. Dedicating so much time to developing Tech in preparation for a character death takes away all of their opportunity to develop, well, anything else.

But, along with the amount of time that was dedicated to Tech as a character through season 2, they also didn't develop him in the ways that most often get used for a doomed character. Namely...

That Sure Is A Lot Of Open Plot Lines

And not one of them got tied up. Currently, Tech has two open plot lines to himself, both started in season 2, as well as a key place in the overall show narrative arc. As the overall show narrative arc takes precedence, we'll start with that.

The Bad Batch sets up a few different narrative arcs very early. One is if clones can be more than soldiers - this is the central thing that we see them struggling against from the start, they've been created to be soldiers and don't know much else about how to function in the world. Theoretically this arc can be fulfilled with one or two of them still dying as soldiers, as long as a few of them make it to find a new life for themselves.

The arc that can't be fulfilled without everyone though is the ongoing thread of reuniting the batch. Much of the show is geared towards making the viewer want this specific end result, as soon as they talk about Crosshair, Omega says they'll just have to get him back and complete their family. The end of season 1 teases us with this only to pull it away at the last moment, then season 2 teases us with it again only to yet again pull it away, this time seemingly permanently.

Ending one of your key narrative threads you've been using to draw audiences in only 2/3rds of the way into the show and without ever resolving it... well it would be a choice. If Tech is gone for good then the last time we saw everyone together would be the end of season 1. Rewatches would lack impact because something that was made to seem so vital ended up going nowhere, and the series finale would never quite reach the height that hearing the full batch theme kick in over the team fighting droids together did. It absolutely destroys the central narrative to leave him gone without ever having reunited the family.

And then there's his personal plots.

Let's start with the obvious one. Tech got a whole potential love interest this season and they absolutely did not resolve a damn thing about it.

Again, this takes a trope that we all know - the young army man that's going to go home and finally marry his girl, who has his whole life ahead of him, but dies tragically in his final mission - and seemingly intentionally subverts the beats. Because what makes the trope work is that the plot line is resolved as soon as that young man decides how he's going to move forward. He can't die uncertain of if he's going to marry his girl, he has to make a decision, and the longer we spend on the relationship to his girl the stronger the decision has to be to consider the narrative line resolved and free him up for some tragedy.

Tech/Phee is a tentative little 'will they or won't they' romance. They're flirting, they're feeling each other out, they're seeing if they're compatible. To tie up this narrative line we would have to find out if they are or not, get a yes or a no on the question. Will they or won't they? We simply don't know because the writers didn't put a resolution in.

We do get the traditional pre-mission scene with them, which would normally be when we get the first kiss or perhaps the promise of a date, either of which would have had me digging Tech's grave for him to fall into from the second it happened. Or even a 'we can't do this right now, but maybe some day it will be the right time' which would have been a kind of lukewarm resolution but would have at least represented a decision.

Instead we get a scene that almost aggressively refuses to resolve anything. They have an awkward interaction, but not one that says they won't get together, no promises are made for the future, no decision point is reached, and the plot line is still dangling wide open when Tech falls to his supposed death. If we truly leave it off here, well, what was the Tech/Phee subplot for? Why did we spend precious time on it when it could have been spent on something else, if it was meant to make Tech's death hit harder why did it not go further?

A second subplot with Tech is that he certainly made the most progress on seeing options outside of the Empire - it starts early on in Ruins of War when he meets Romar and gets his eyes opened to the idea of cultures that existed unconnected to the war. Serenno existed before the war and before the separatists, and Romar introduces Tech to that idea of an ongoing culture. He gets a taste of racing in front of a cheering crowd, leans further into his teaching of Omega and gets new insights from her regarding their lives as soldiers, his relationship with Phee picks up right when he finds out that she is interested in the preservation of cultures. It's a quiet little subplot, but Tech was seeing the full scope of what the galaxy contained beyond being a soldier in a war.

But, like the Tech/Phee, it never resolves. He never decides to settle down, he never chooses to stop being a soldier or even openly discusses the idea of what life will look like after. Rescuing Crosshair isn't positioned as a final mission that they have to complete in order to give up their lives as soldiers. Without that decision point being reached, the plot stays open, we never find out what he Would Have Done so we don't get a sense of the future that he would lose by dying, which is what the purpose of these types of plots is for a planned permadeath.

The Kaminoans don't create without purpose and writers working on a three season timeline don't typically write without it either. So if we spent the time on Tech/Phee but Tech is dead before it ever went anywhere, if we spent time on Tech's relationship with being something other than a soldier but he never really pursues it, what is the payoff?

Too Much of a Survivor To Die?

There's also the matter of how they chose to build Tech's character this season. Namely they beefed that man's skills up incredibly high making it intensely unbelievable that he's dead without seeing some sort of concrete proof. Things we know about Tech as of the end of season 2 include:

Incredible pain tolerance - Tech fractures his femur in Ruins of War and seems shockingly unbothered by it. The femur is frequently listed as one of the most painful bones to break. This is not a broken toe the man is hobbling around on, he fractured the strongest bone in the body and kept going through the woods. He physically fought and killed a man with that busted femur.

Lightning fast mental processing - this is of course on display nowhere so much as Faster where he's put up against droids and wins by taking calculated risks that no one else is willing to try.

A cool head in stressful circumstances - this one is hilarious because he outright says it, but Tech does demonstrate time and time again that when it comes down to it, he's able to keep calm no matter the circumstances.

Essentially, we spend the entirety of season 2 setting up why Tech is the perfect person to drop out of the sky and have him survive. He has the ability to keep calm and come up with a plan in seconds and he has the grit to keep moving even if he's grievously injured once he hits the ground. When you set a character up like this, you can still kill them, but you have to work harder to do it convincingly. Leaving Tech not at the moment of death but with probably at least a minute to act in and then not showing us the body is the exact opposite.

We have a moment in The Crossing showing us Tech's precise aim, and it comes up again to brutal effect when he shoots out the connection on the rail car. If moments through the season were used to set up that particular instant of the finale, then we can't discount the numerous scenes demonstrating his survival skills as being irrelevant to his chances.

Plus, looking back at Ruins of War - one of the big moments in the episode is towards the end, where Romar tells Tech, "I'm a survivor. Remember?" The camera then lingers on Tech for a long moment. It's not the kind of action that demonstrates his capabilities as above, but it works to associate the words with Tech in the viewers mind. Romar is a survivor, and Tech is a survivor too. And when you intend to kill someone off, it's kind of an odd choice to spend that whole season setting them up as a survivor.

THE FALL

Which brings us to the scene itself. Plan 99, implied to be one of the last ditch plans that they have. It's absolutely a heartbreaking scene, and one that can be tough to analyze when it's so well done, because it's rough to watch repeatedly. But, it's worth doing, because the scene itself is FULL of questions, some structural others more based in the visual presentation.

What is Plan 99?

Well, that's just it, we don't actually know.

We know what it's implied to be, a self sacrifice plan where one of the batch gives their life for the others to get away. But in show it's never actually defined, leaving the full meaning of Plan 99 up to interpretation. It could be as simple as what it's implied to be, but that brings up questions like 'why not provide any lead up or foreshadowing for it?' and 'does killing yourself actually count as a plan?'

Removing the assumptions from it gives us room to speculate. Is the plan actually that they leave him behind, dead or alive? Hunter ordered them to do so without a plan number in season 1, but he is the sergeant, so plan 99 could easily be something that bypasses his authority - if a batcher calls a plan 99, you go and you don't question his decision. It's certainly closer to a plan if there's something they are supposed to be doing from their end rather than just an announcement of intent.

It's not strictly evidence one way or another, but it is something of note when Tech's entire sacrifice is based around a plan that we're not privy to the details of. TBB has hidden its twists in ambiguity before, so it would not be the first time that it let us assume something only to pull the rug out later. But ambiguity is not the only thing that makes this scene stand out in the raising questions department.

Pacing Goes Out The Window

Generally speaking, a self sacrifice is the climax of an episode. Think Kanan, Hardcase, Gregor, Hevy, etc - Even a minor character sacrificing their life tends to make up the most climactic portion of any given episode, let alone one of the characters from the title squad. It gets to be the big central moment, the big rush of music and feeling, the pinnacle of the viewers attention.

Tech's sacrifice is not. It happens around 5 minutes into the episode, is rapidly moved past with barely a moment to think, and then the actual climax is Omega's capture on Ord Mantell. They even repeat the music when Omega is captured, except much stronger this time, making it clear that this is the emotional crux of the episode, this is the scene that is supposed to stick with you.

The opportunity to make it the climax of an episode was certainly there. The storyline could have been adjusted to put Tech's fall at the end of The Summit, allowing more time in Plan 99 for processing his loss and making it feel final. The pacing choice is one that doesn't allow the viewer to process the loss, only giving us maybe a couple minutes of time with actual emotional reactions before we're barreling off to the next plot point. Why was Tech's death de-emphasized within the episode if it is indeed our last moment with this central character?

Tarkin, Eriadu, & Saw Gerrera

A lot goes into the set-up for Plan 99. We have Tarkin's base on Eriadu as the setting they're working within, going up against Tarkin for the first time since early season 1. This is the big leagues, and something that's come up in multiple interviews is that when going into the den of one of the franchise's big bads we have to have consequences, something to demonstrate that Tarkin is not to be trifled with.

Sounds reasonable enough. Except Tarkin doesn't actually do anything in either of these episodes. The thing that actually threw them off was Saw's planning mixing in with their own.

All Tarkin does upon finding out that the batch is stuck on the rail is order an air strike and ignore that this would kill many of his own men. This is certainly evil, but it's standard Imperial evil. Rampart would have given that order. Hemlock would have given that order. The guy in Tipping Point that we know for 5 minutes before he fried himself would have given that order.

So if the point of this finale was to demonstrate Tarkin's power, then bringing Saw in both complicates the plot and devalues what they're claiming they are trying to show. So is the point to get them to Tantiss? No, because they fail in that. They don't plant the tracker, they're no closer to finding Crosshair than they were before.

By all accounts the point of the whole endeavor is in fact just to drop Tech off a sky rail for reasons unknown and injure Omega to force them to go back to Ord Mantell. These two things could have happened anywhere in any way of course, so why choose Eriadu and why choose to complicate the plot by introducing Saw rather than letting Tarkin handle the job?

They're questions we don't have answers to yet, but they're very hard to get answers to if Tech is dead and completely out of the picture. Having a dead body on Eriadu is fairly useless to the plot, having a living Tech on Eriadu though? That has potential to move them huge leaps forward in a very short amount of time once we bring him back in. Especially given his conversation with Saw prior to everything going downhill - Tech was in favor of gathering intel from the facility rather than destroying it.

And what about Saw, anyway? If he was genuinely there to cause problems and fly away, again, that's a plot wrinkle that isn't needed and took time away from everything else. If he's there because they needed someone to pick Tech up though? There's potential there.

Did Tech's Sacrifice Mean Anything?

In universe, Tech's sacrifice means everything, of course. It's a decision made in the moment to risk everything to save his family. It's a noble deed and one he does without hesitation. But pulling away from that narrow scope of an in universe perspective, what did we accomplish narratively with his fall?

Well... not much actually! They got over the bump in the road that they encountered all of five seconds ago and promptly crashed headfirst into another, different bump in the road. Tech's dramatic sacrifice didn't allow them to escape unharmed, it didn't allow them to find Crosshair, it just allowed them to move a few steps forward, after which Omega is almost killed and then captured, which is a fairly weak reason to sacrifice a whole major character.

But not every character death is exclusively about narrative, sometimes it's about the character arc itself. So does this close out anything for Tech's character development? Again, not really. Tech has always been completely loyal to the squad and would have risked anything for his family. He never had a choice not to fall, it was either just him or the whole team, and he is an endlessly logical actor. The action would have played out the same had it happened in the series premier or the season 1 finale, or any other time in the show. If anything it's a backtrack on his character by putting him solidly back into the soldier box that the show is trying to let the clones grow out of.

Maybe it's not about Tech's character though, maybe it's about everyone else's! Does his death change anyone's trajectory? Again... no, not really. We'll get into season 3's lack of mentioning Tech later, but in the immediate aftermath of his fall, no one's course or actions is majorly changed because of his loss. Hunter wants to go back to Pabu where it's safe, the same thing he wanted to do before they ever left for this mission. Omega puts herself in danger to save her brothers, which has been one of her defining traits since season one. Wrecker is following Hunter's lead, same as he always did. (We get very little of what Echo hopes to do, but the opening of season 3 reveals that they went back to work with Rex, exactly like they were doing before.)

So narratively nothing required him to die, the character's arc isn't completed, and the other characters aren't motivated to change. If Tech dies here, it's the picture of a shock value death. It doesn't complete or inform his character, it doesn't need to narratively happen in order to put Omega on the path to being captured, and thematically it exists just to give the viewer an unnecessary gut-punch when just the failure to rescue Crosshair and the loss of Omega would have been enough.

Framing is Everything

In a death scene there's nothing more powerful than our final shot of a character. The very last we'll ever see of them, the image that will linger in our minds when we think of that character from then on. This is especially important in animation where everything has to go through several iterations before deciding on what that final look will be. You want it to be impactful, you want the audience to have one final connection to the character before they're gone for good.

So why does Tech die with his helmet on?

If there's one thing TBB is good at, it's their expression work, and a death scene is a perfect place to show off their full range, which is why most deaths meant to have a heavy impact occur with faces unobscured. Crosshair loses his helmet and takes Mayday's off so we can see both of their faces as Mayday dies, Slip, Cade, even Clone X and Wilco, all die helmetless. Looking into older series you have Kanan dying without his mask, Fives, Hardcase, Waxer all dying helmetless with one last good look at their faces and expressions.

And while Tech's helmet gives us a good look at his eyes, the rest of his face goes unseen, and Wrecker's face as he watches this happen is completely obscured. We're denied a look at a lot of their expressions as the decision is made and Plan 99 is executed, rendering it less personal than it otherwise could have been. Tech could have lost his helmet in the blast that knocked him from the rail, Wrecker could have had his helmet knocked off at some point to give us a good look at his expression. TBB isn't known for pulling its punches, so why leave our final look at Tech's face back in The Summit and not here?

Then there's the framing choices. We get some absolutely amazing shots of Tech during the fall, from taking the shot to falling backwards towards the cloudy cover - but here's where some interesting choices are made. Rather than letting our last shot of him be a face up shot that keeps eye contact with the camera as he falls, they make the choice to have him flip over, and we hold the shot as the rail car goes down after him, partially obscuring him.

Which means instead of our last glimpse of Tech being something like this.

We end up with something closer to this.

Which, while we all love those Tech crotch shots is somewhat less impactful emotionally. These frames go through multiple departments and get multiple eyes on them before going through final animation, and no one thought that leaving him face up and unobscured until he disappears into the fog would stick more firmly in the viewer's memory?

The Flip Might be Intentional

And I don't just mean out of universe, as every detail of animation is often intentional, but in universe as well. If you look closely at Tech as he falls, he seems to roll his shoulders back in order to begin flipping over. It was a specific enough detail to send me searching for a reason and I found it in instructions on how to survive a long fall - the first thing that you're supposed to do? Get into the arch position like a skydiver to slow and control your fall.

The flip was important enough to not only include but to include the small detail of Tech intentionally flipping himself over into said position. It's not a confirmation but it's an interesting detail, and one that has very few other reasons to exist.

THE AFTERMATH

Image chosen because even thinking he's alive I didn't want to pull from Omega reacting to the fall on Ord Mantell. Looking at her makes me Sad. So the fall has happened, the rail car has rushed forward and crashed, and Omega fades in and out of consciousness until finally waking up on Ord Mantell to the bad news.

"What if he's hurt?"

Omega is our POV character for the show. We may sometimes see things she doesn't, but emotionally she remains the center of the narrative, the character that the target audience will see themselves in. Her ultimate thoughts on a situation are the closest we have to a clear indicator of our intended takeaway.

So it's interesting that the first thing we hear out of her, having heard that Tech 'didn't make it,' is a firm denial. He can't be gone, he might be hurt, he needs them and they need to go back for him. And, despite Hunter continuing to talk with her about it for a bit, we never actually hear Omega explicitly take it back or verbally acknowledge Tech as dead. The closest we get is 'lost' which she also uses for Echo in The Crossing.

Now, here's where the interpretation between the adult and child audience will likely differ. From an adult perspective, this is a reasonable reaction for a child her age. It comes off as very natural that she doesn't want to accept it and that she doesn't have time to really process that it's true before the scene moves on. It makes sense from an in universe perspective.

However, the main audience is still children who actually are Omega's age and who are being presented with her as their window into this world. And their takeaway, seeing that same scene, is likely to be that Omega is correct. They don't know that Tech's dead, just because an adult says it doesn't make it true and just because Hemlock says it DEFINITELY doesn't mean it's true, they have to go back and check.

If they wanted the main audience to think that Tech is dead for sure, they could have had Omega be the one to say that he's gone, with Hunter simply confirming it for her. Alternatively, Omega accepting it when Hunter tells her would also function in the same way - ultimately, as the POV character, if Omega doesn't accept it there's a strong possibility much of the audience won't accept it either, especially without other evidence.

No Body?

And, as we all know, we simply don't have other concrete evidence. Not only are the batch given no time to look for Tech's body or any confirmation that he died, but we get a whole scene with Hemlock and the goggles where he also confirms verbally that he doesn't have a body either. There's very little reason to have him say this outside of putting a bug in the viewer's ear that he might not be gone for good.

Not only do we have that verbal confirmation, but we have multiple places where a body could have been included or implied without adding much to the runtime.

Easiest place would probably be when Omega passes out - there's a trooper's corpse right there in front of her, and it would have been very easy to make that identifiable as Tech. Have one of the boys check his pulse like Crosshair did with Mayday and then be forced to leave after confirming he's dead. Would it require a little bit of fudging the details of how he landed so close to them, sure, but it would have been narratively streamlined and easy.

Have Hemlock bring his helmet rather than his goggles (and damage it in a way clearly incompatible with survival) or confirm that he did find a body but has no use for the goggles.

Put the body in Hemlock's lab when Omega is brought there at the end of the episode. Have a sheet covering him even if you want and just one of his hands hanging out, especially the one with the distinctive light on the back of it. Give us her reaction to that.

These are just the ones that don't involve adding scenes or making major changes - instead, in a franchise known for bringing back everyone and their grandmother especially if there's no body, they chose to leave it extremely vague.

Reused Score

The soundtrack for Tech's sacrifice is fantastic, I don't think anyone can argue that. In fact it's so good that it's used occasionally used as a reason for why he's dead for real. If it's a fakeout, why go so hard on the music?

It almost sounds like a reasonable argument, except that the music isn't even unique to Tech's fall. We get the same motif later in the episode with Omega's capture, and it actually comes in even harder and more impactful there than it did with Tech falling.

Reusing bits of the music has two results. It lessens the impact of hearing it with Tech if it is in fact his Death music, because it makes it clear that he is not the central feeling of the episode but rather, Omega's capture is. As mentioned before, deaths are usually the climax of their own episodes partially to avoid them being upstaged by any other plot points, but here Omega's capture is fully prioritized over the loss of one of our central characters.

The second result is that it changes the meaning of the music. It's no longer meant specifically to underscore a tragic death, but rather a more general one of loss and separation. And if it's simply about that separation, then it no longer requires Tech to be dead to have that same impact. They're apart from each other, and that's painful enough.

SEASON 3 SO FAR

Which of course finally brings us to season 3! We're five episodes in as of the posting of this, so a full 1/3rd of the season down, which gives us a good idea of how they're handling the whole grief aspect of this scenario.

They Aren't!

That's right, we simply have not directly acknowledged or dealt with the whole 'watching your squadmate fall to a presumed horrible death' thing even once in five episodes. Tech has been mentioned by name twice, we've seen his goggles once, and Wrecker makes one sideways reference to him having not made it back.

In universe, there is a several month timeskip and it seems to be implied that the majority of the grief milestones happened in that gap. For example, we don't see Crosshair finding out from Omega, we don't see Omega grieving her brother, we don't see Phee finding out (more on her in a bit) despite her fledgling romance. Months of grieving and processing skipped over and what comes out the other side is single line mentions that go by in seconds.

This is especially apparent after episode 5, where we got something to compare it to. Crosshair has a long, painful moment of grieving with Mayday's helmet when they return to Barton IV. It's deep, personal, and intimate and we take a minute with him gathering up the helmets of Mayday and his men to set them up on the crates the same way that Mayday had honored them.

Mayday is a one episode character that was important to only a single character, Crosshair - Tech is a core member of the team present through two full seasons and shown as close to every member of the squad. Yet the single scene grieving Mayday is longer and more emotionally gripping than every short mention of Tech so far in season 3.

Narrative Grief

Seeing characters grieve their loved ones onscreen is about more than just the characters themselves. It's also part of the viewer experience - through the characters' grief, we're able to process our own grief at the loss. It makes it feel real, it makes it feel personal, and the amount of grieving needs to be proportionate to the character's importance in the story.

This is especially true in a show written for children like The Bad Batch. Kids don't typically have the same experience with death as adults, and a well written main character death within a children's show will need more time and energy spent towards making the loss feel real. We see this with deaths like Kanan's; it wasn't Jedi Night that told the viewer that Kanan was really, truly dead, it was Dume, where the characters mourned him and dealt with the aftermath.

Currently, with Tech, we do see holes in the team that make us miss Tech but they remain completely unaddressed by the characters. We see Tech's goggles, but Hunter isn't looking at them, he's looking at Lula. Omega mentions Tech having taught her all the plans, but without any real sadness on her or Crosshair's part. The closest we get to actually bringing it up are Wrecker saying 'not everyone came back' and Echo mentioning the datapad would be difficult without Tech, and both of those are only seconds long before moving on. They don't serve as any kind of catharsis for the viewer, relying more on gut punch impact and keeping the wound open rather than allowing it to heal. The difference between the treatment of Tech's death and Mayday's just makes it more stark.

How Do You Like Yearning?

Interestingly, though, it strongly resembles the writing team's handling of another situation: Crosshair's departure from the team in season 1 vs Echo's in season 2. The show even drew a lot of flack for the lack of discussion on Crosshair's betrayal, as outside of a couple conversations the matter often went unremarked on. Echo leaving, on the other hand, got a whole episode dedicated to processing the loss immediately after it happened.

So what was the difference? Crosshair's departure is part of a long term plot point. We're supposed to want him back, we're supposed to want the team to talk about him, anything that would ease the tension. The writers on the other hand want that tension to remain until it's time to actually resolve the plot. So we get those slow drips in between bigger encounters, we get opportunities for Crosshair to come home that he doesn't take, and we don't get the catharsis of the team actually talking about any of it. We're left to want and imagine it, using the yearning to keep it on people's minds more than anything.

If Crosshair had been discussed on screen long enough for the characters to actually come to terms with his absence, though, that would have made the plot feel more settled and resolved early on. It might be conversations we want to see, but it doesn't keep the viewer on edge and craving a resolution. Best case scenario we're just not as desperate for Crosshair to come home - worst case scenario we accept that he won't be returning and find the fact that he eventually does to be unrealistic.

Echo on the other hand gets their absence processed immediately, because their absence from the team is not meant to be a huge plot point. It's something the team has to deal with, yes, and the viewer wants to see them again just like Omega does, but Echo returning isn't meant to be a maybe, and it's not supposed to keep the viewer wondering and worrying. It's a when, not an if.

Similarly to Crosshair, Tech has never felt like a resolved plot point. We don't get confirmation on his death, we don't get any long term grieving, and we get drip fed acknowledgements that pry the wound back open. If we actually see the team discuss and come to terms with their grief and loss, the plot point closes, the wound closes and we begin to fully accept a team without Tech in it, which makes it harder to reinsert him into the storyline if he is in fact alive.

If he's truly gone for good, what is the point of denying closure to the audience? We know that they are capable of writing an intense mourning moment that feels completely in character for otherwise emotionally repressed men such as Crosshair, so why not give us that with the team mourning for Tech? A memorial, an intimate moment with the goggles, a short scene of Crosshair finding out about the loss, or anything at all really? Once again it's something that makes sense if he's alive and we're simply not being shown yet, but makes very little sense to not capitalize on if he's dead.

What's to Come

We have ten episodes of season 3 to go, and a lot to cover. Reviews have indicated that Tech is not explicitly brought up in the first eight, so the earliest we could possibly have a survival reveal is in episode 9. Will it actually happen? Maybe, maybe not. Though interestingly episode 9, The Harbinger, is almost exactly one year after Plan 99, just like The Return aired almost one year after The Outpost. Could mean nothing, but they do enjoy their anniversary dates.

One thing we do know for sure is coming up is Phee's inclusion - she's seen in the official trailer, as well as briefly in a recent twitter spot. This is interesting as Phee is, of course, Tech's teased love interest, and her connection to Tech has been emphasized multiple times, including on her Databank entry and the official 'what you need to know about season 3' guide. When she comes onto the scene, it's very likely that more information about Tech will too.

MARKETING, INTERVIEWS, & SOCIAL MEDIA

I wanted to keep this mostly focused on what can be seen within the show itself, but it's impossible to talk about whether or not Tech is alive without pointing to the absolutely bizarre messaging from the cast and crew, as well as the marketing choices surrounding his sacrifice. (Example: the Instagram Mourning Filter they layered over him in the official trailer, as seen above) I won't get quite as detailed here as in the above, but it does have to be mentioned.

Constant Focus

In between the end of season 2 and the posting of the season 3 trailer in late January, there were several posts on various official Star Wars media. The majority of them were about Tech and Plan 99. In fact, I don't think I ever saw anything mentioning the giant 'Omega's been captured' cliffhanger, just Tech. Over and over again.

Once a character is dead, marketing generally stops caring about them. They're forward focused after all, they want you coming back for what's to come not lingering on what won't be relevant again. So why the constant focus on Tech?

And it wasn't just the social media either - a huge portion of the trailers and reels included old footage of him too. For the most part this was from Plan 99 and bringing up his fall again to rip open those old wounds, but in one case they included action footage from The Summit. This was an interesting case, because the majority of people watching wouldn't have recognized it immediately. Fittingly, the entire comment section was full of nothing but 'Was that Tech?' style comments, which they would have known was going to be the case to start with.

So why are we so focused on a man that's supposedly dead? If he's genuinely never going to show up again why keep putting him in? Everything? While not even bringing him up all that often in the show? If he's dead, this is a truly bizarre marketing decision.

Never Say Die

In interviews or in official material. For several months the word 'dead' was never used for Tech anywhere, not in interviews, not in official material, nowhere. It took until January 23rd for all of the databank entries to be updated, and among all of the main cast he's only referred to as 'killed' once, and it's on Hunter's page not even his own. Then, the Friday before the premier, an interview came out referring to him as dead - on the part of the interviewer, not the creators themselves.

Everything else seems to use a variety of euphemisms. His sacrifice, his absence, his loss, he 'plummeted out of sight', he 'fell from a tram car', he did absolutely anything it's possible to do except outright die apparently.

It's an odd choice when there's known controversy over if he's dead or not. The standard operating protocol of course, in a planned comeback, is to refer to them as dead anyway and allow fandom to fuel its own speculation, but with a fandom as devastated as TBB's was, it's quite possible that the odd behavior had to be introduced just to keep speculation going. The only interviews that sound remotely final came out right before the episodes started coming out - if they had done that from the beginning, the chances of people outright refusing to come back to the show likely would have been higher.

Much like the marketing, this is not necessarily proof of anything - but in combination with the multiple odd things in the show itself, it's certainly suspicious. Speaking of suspicious...

What an Odd Thing to Say

The cast and crew themselves have not been skimping on making strange comments when it comes to the Tech situation.

There is of course the well known Joel Aron (lighting director for the series) tweet that came out the day of the Celebrations panel (AKA when the Tech trauma was at an all time high) and in direct reply to a fan that was having a hard time with Tech's death. It's hard to take it as anything but a reference to Tech given the timing, and it was certainly taken as being about Tech in the quote tweets. If it's not about Tech, why tease the fandom with it? And the specification for it being a mid s3 episode as well...

Also from the day of Celebrations, and from the panel itself, we have Michelle Ang saying in front of God and everybody, that Tech "doesn't come back... in this episode, at least." At the time there was a possibility she didn't know and was just leaving it open, but with that only being ten months ago and the extremely long timeframe of animation, it's almost certain that she would have been done with all primary recording by that point. If you know he's not coming back, how do you accidentally imply that he is with no one correcting it?

Dee Bradley Baker, when asked for a farewell message from Tech at a con, came out with "the life of a soldier is fulfilled by fulfilling his mission and supporting his brothers. And this was the end of mine. And that's a good thing." Which was a perfectly serviceable goodbye right up until he said that the end of Tech's (life? soldier's life? mission?) was a good thing.

During an instagram interview we have Deana Kiner, one of the composers, in response to the interviewer talking about the final episode containing a major loss, saying, "It's kind of a loss... It's complicated." The claim on twitter was that this was about Omega, because everyone knows that when someone mentions the major loss in Plan 99 they're definitely talking about Omega.

So is Tech alive? Is Tech dead? We still don't know. But while one or two of the above might be a coincidence, having all of them at once coalesce around this single character death is a lot to chew over. The Bad Batch team has shown willingness to address grief and loss prior, as well as a willingness to show us death onscreen and front and center. So why, with such an important character, sidestep it all in order to keep it vague? Why keep it from sounding final for so long, if the intent the entire time was for him to be dead for good?

We won't know until he either shows back up or the show ends. If Tech's alive, all of the above starts to make sense. If he's dead... well a lot of things will just never quite add up. I feel that this team has shown enough willingness to follow up on their trailing plotlines that they've earned my trust. Fingers crossed for a satisfying resolution for all of us, and for our boy Tech, whatever that resolution may be.

[brucewaynehater101]

I come again w/ another Tim Drake au!!

So there's this fanfic "If We Could Only Utter the Words Left Unsaid" by TaintedCure on AO3

And now I wanna share an idea

TW for suicide because of Timothy + death-fueled-time-travel

Basically, whenever somebody kills Tim, they go back in time, and there's no limit to how many times he can die. they go back far enough to prevent his death or not do an attempt on his life

He dies during Titans Tower? Back in time you go Jason!

Cut his line and he broke his neck and died? Damian is now back in time!

Some goon cracked his skull too well? Say hello to the past bucko!

Hell, even accidental murders still register so if you were to accidentally push him off too high a ledge you're getting the Time Travel Treatment

Hey maybe Tim still is aware of his time travel powers, but only when it comes to natural causes (like hypothermia) or suicides, so as a result he thinks he knows it all when he in fact doesn't

So yeah, unless somebody spills, Tim is clueless to the whole truth of his powers

I imagine only old age would do him in at this rate

It'd be like real interesting to see all the POVs, especially if they think they know all the loops

Like there's Tim who's regularly exploited his powers to get perfect results but is trying to convince himself he isn't being too frivolous with his life since he's saving lives or making them better

Then there's the people who did him in and may or may not even be aware that the time travel they experiences was because they killed the Third Robin or got him killed

Then there's the people who've done him in maybe one, twice or multiple times and have clocked into the fact that murdering Tim is an exercise in futility

TW: suicide (powers revolving traveling time by dying), violence/abuse (skip the angst if you don't want the second one), and death.

Now, this is a very interesting concept, and I'm probably gonna get lost in the setup for a bit.

The way that Tim's powers work would have to be defined really well. How far back can he go? In the fic you mentioned, he has a save point, basically. He can die an infinite amount of times, but he'll only return to his save point unless he reaches past the OG time he died. He can play around as much as he wants between the savepoint and his death, but a new savepoint gets set up after he passes his OG death time. It also indicated a decrease in time he went back (or his savepoint was established) so that he'll eventually die for good if he kept using his powers. That solves a lot of continuity issues.

However, the setup for Tim's powers could be like SSS-Class Suicide Hunter. For those who aren't familiar, the MC revives 24 hours in the past. He ends up killing himself thousands of times to end up at least a decade in the past. It's been a while since I've read it, but that's the basics of it.

If we're working off of those rules, anyone who kills Tim is only working with 24 hours in the past. You can add more or less time to fit your AU better.

I have some questions about the setup. You mentioned that the person who kills Tim would get sent back without his knowledge. Therefore, in Tim's mind, has he never been murdered? Or, is it a two for one ride into the past? Does the villain get sent back into the past, but Tim doesn't know the past has been changed? Or does Tim get sent back as well, but he doesn't know the villain is also sent back?

Imma get into the angst in a bit if Tim doesn't get sent back into the past when he gets murdered.

However, the issue with this is fucking with the timestream. If a goon kills Tim, ends up 24 hours in the past, and past Tim kills himself within those 24 hours, what the hell is the timeline? Does the goon still get sent back in time? Does Tim get sent back, and then, when the goon is supposed to, his consciousness gets sent back during that time? Does Tim killing himself wipe out the goon being able to travel back in time?

Continously, I assume if villains found out about the power, they would gun for Red Robin with prejudice because they know they'll get a cheat that way. They get a ticket to the past if they kill the bird. They get a redo.

Alright. Angst time!

~~

Bruce is the first one to find out about Tim's power. He's training with Tim when, as per usual, he takes it a bit too far. The man has a habit of not pulling his punches in a fucked up version of trying to push Tim away from being Robin. This time, when he punches Tim, the kid doesn't get up. It's a wonder he didn't hear the awful crack or notice Tim's neck wasn't quite right. Only not recieving an answer after berating Tim about not getting up causes Bruce to pause. He doesn't hear breathing.

Oh gods. He doesn't hear breathing. Is Tim dead? Did he kill Tim? Did he break his nec-

Bruce snaps to attention mid lecture to Robin. They are both in the cave (not on the training mats not on the mats not on the mats), and it seems the exact same as it was yesterday when he was yelling at Tim about proper batarang maintenance.

Tim, ever the observant Robin, leans forward as if to ask if Batman was okay. Bruce flinches back.

Tim's eyes widen in shock as he takes a step back. In the year or so he's worked with Bruce, he's never gotten that response to initating touch. Tim's eyes flicker down to his hand in recrimination and puzzlement.

Bruce takes a shaky breath in before dismissing Tim for the night. The child is hesitant to flee but follows the request.

Bruce doesn't know what happened and he's not sure he wants to find out.

This cues Bruce being kinder to Tim and less harsh. The detective figures out that Tim has a time traveling power upon death, but it appears as if Tim isn't aware of it (he doesn't know that Tim constantly kills himself for better results in field). Tim never finds out that Bruce's change in behavior to him was born of guilt. He never learns that his dad killed him.

~~

Next angst!

Two concepts with Jason.

One, Jason creates a fucked up timeloop with Titan's Tower where he kills Tim over and over again in fucked up ways until he satiates his desire for bloodlust. If Tim is still aware of the Tower incident, that's because Jason wanted him to be. Whether Jason becomes guilty about this timeloop he created or not could also be explored. There is a fic out there kind of similar to this concept (timeloop Titan's Tower, not the added element of Tim's powers).

Two, Bruce does end up killing Jason in the showdown with the Joker. He batarang slices Jason's neck, the building blows up, and Jason never emerges. There's a few ways to add on top of this angst. If Titan's Tower happened before this (and Tim was left beaten), that means Tim chose to kill himself to save Jason. Jason will never know. That, or Titan's Tower happens afterwards and Jason tortures Tim not knowing the teen saved him from a second death at the hands of his father (ironically Tim also doesn't know that he's been killed by Bruce).

~~

Last Angst!

Damian finds out about Tim's power and abuses it constantly. He's a kid that was raised to be an assassin and found someone he can kill that also gives him the benefit of getting away with anything. As long as the kill goes through, he's golden.

Eventually, Damian starts to slow down on this. He doesn't really want to see Drake choking on blood again.

He one day finds that he hasn't tried to kill Drake in months and he doesn't really want to try to.

Then he finds that list.

Then he cuts Drake's line.

Then he has to relive those 24 hours again knowing he killed someone he was starting to trust.

Bonus angst if Tim finds out, jokingly asks his family members how many times they have killed them, and finds out Dick is the only one who hasn't (Tim killed himself after the 16th birthday incident and he somewhat blames Alfred for that, though he'll never tell him).

[exactlycleverpirate]

(Over) Analyzing the Love and Deepspace Theme Song

“Some long for longevity

Before fading to dust

Some long for eternal sleep

And eulogy chanted by stars

Into that serenity

Their lost time forever buried

She rambled a thousand times

And million miles

Searching for her light

Free from the rule of death

Now seem so dull

Time goes by but memories rewind

Here she prays again

Back when things began

Where to go

Where they meet and grow old

Where no rivers would flow

No woods would grow

No life would never be ceased

Or somewhere they could start again

Where they would never be the same

Where rains everyday

Fain they would stay

Some forsake longevity

Then fading to dust

Some fall for eternal sleep

Their eulogies turn into gleaming stars

Will they meet in stars again

Or gone with the wind”

Spoilers under the cut.

Some long for longevity

Before fading to dust

I think this line could be a reference to the people of Philos, especially the ones on Earth. The Backtrackers are trying to find a way to prolong Philos and their lives with it. When Xavier cuts down the man in the alley, he dissolves into dust. The planet is dying and has no oceans. The whole planet is described as being dustier than Earth was. The imagery during the video for these lines is of the galaxy. 

The Wanderers also fade to dust when they are cut down. In fact, the first scene we see of Xavier in the game is him cutting down Wanderers and them dispersing into light.

Additionally, there are people on Earth who are trying to achieve immortality, particularly those who are using Lemurian blood to prolong their lives. Meanwhile, in Fragrant Dream, Rafayel dissolves into sea foam to save MC. (But this could be a bit of a stretch.)

Some long for eternal sleep

And eulogy chanted by stars

Eternal sleep is a common theme throughout this game. Zanye falls into eternal sleep in his myth. Rafayel will also fall into eternal sleep in his myth if something doesn't change. Meanwhile, Xavier is suspiciously tired all the time. 

Particularly telling is that these lines coincide with a silhouette of Xavier in the video, as well as a starry expanse. The implication seems to be that Xavier is longing for that eternal sleep. Which wouldn't be terribly surprising. He has been living and fighting and losing the person he loves over and over for a very long time.

A eulogy is something written or spoken to remember those who have died. In this case, the stars themselves are the ones speaking the memories. It makes me think of old mythology where great heroes and demi-gods would be immortalized in constellations when they died.

I think this segment is also connected to Wanderers, and Xavier's story is particularly tied to Wanderers. I think it is very possible that whatever humanity remains in the Wanderers wants to be at rest, finally. I think there is likely relief when Xavier (and Zayne in his 3rd Anecdote), set them free to finally rest in peace.

Into that serenity

Their lost time forever buried

Here, the video shows us a silhouette of Zayne, and behind him is Mt. Eternal. At the end of his myth, Zayne has slipped into the serenity of eternal sleep, buried under a snowy blizzard. Additionally, at the end of the Main Story chapter 8, we see Zayne interacting with something buried under ice.

Even before this, in Zayne's Myth, they lose time again and again as their memories are erased, and they are reset. Additionally, there is some time weirdness going on between Doctor Zayne and Dawnbreaker Zayne. 

She rambled a thousand times

And million miles

Searching for her light

The video shows planet Earth rotating and a sun rising over the horizon. This is clearly about MC, traveling worlds and times, resurrecting again and again, searching for her love(s), her freedom, her memories. Particularly poignant is Queen MC at the end of Xavier’s Myth, thinking about how her star is gone.

Free from the rule of death

Now seem so dull

Time goes by but memories rewind

This section is paired with Rafayel's silhouette in the video. It is hard to make out the background, but I think it is an underwater city, presumably Lemuria. Lemurians are naturally eternal/immortal. As far as we have seen so far, they are the only people in the game who come by this naturally (unless this is a result of that ancient Lemurian technology, but either way, immortality is literally in their blood).

Rafayel may die, but the implication through his content seems to be that when he does die, he will merge into the waters of the ocean and one day be reincarnated. He is free from the rule of death, but over and over in his stories and behavior, we see that he is bored. Life has become dull (particularly without MC). He talks of death as a blessing for Lemurians in Whalefall Lament.

Something that is an important reoccurring theme throughout Rafayel's content is memories. MC has forgotten him, which he is very frustrated about. In Fragrant Dream, she has forgotten him as well, and restoring her memories and humanity costs Rafayel his life. In his myth, Rafayel tries to erase her memories to protect her, but she remembers anyway, and tells him she is not someone who easily forgets (which seems a little ironic, given how much she has forgotten across times and tales). 

Rafayel also seems to have the potential to have the oldest memories with her. Where Xavier’s memories are primarily in the future, I think it likely that many of Rafayel's are in the past (though not the myth). If I were to have each man represent an aspect of time, I would say Xavier is future, Zayne is present, and Rafayel is past. And I think we see that connection here with memories rewinding.

I will add that MC has lost memories of all 3 men throughout her various stories, though I would argue that current day MC has primarily lost memories of Rafayel, as she only met Zayne after the Chronorift Catastrophe, and most of her story with Xavier is set in the future, but present day MC has only just met him (aside from a brief encounter during the Chronorift Catastrophe).

Here she prays again

Back when things began

The video at this part once more shows a galaxy/starry expanse. 

I'm inclined to say this is also connected to Rafayel's story, though I'm not sure. There are two different gods we see mentioned in Love and Deepspace, the God of the Sea (Rafayel) and Astra. Though this could refer to praying at the shrines and things of that nature just in general, praying for luck, well being, help, etc. 

But I do think it is interesting that in Rafayel’s myth, there is a suggestion that she is/was a follower/devotee/worshiper of the Sea God. Adding to that my thoughts that Rafayel has the oldest connection, and the “back when things began” is a good fit too. However, Xavier’s Anecdote 3 can also be seen as a beginning, particularly of the time-loop they seem to be trapped in now.

Where to go

On this line, the video flashes through the locations of each of the myths. First the city in the Golden Sands of Rafayel's myth, then the castle in Philos where Xavier is, and finally the Tower of Thorns where Zayne is trapped.

Where they meet and grow old

Where no rivers would flow

Here, we again see Rafayel in the video. Of my experience going through the content, Rafayel is the most blatant and consistent about wanting to spend his life with MC, and even refers to her as his bride in the myth. Thus we have connected with him the longing to grow old with MC. To have her beside him throughout his life. Indeed, I think he gave her his heart because he knew otherwise they would one day be separated by her truly dying, and he wanted to make her immortal like himself, so she could live on with him, over the course of their lives.

Rivers flowing is a plain reference to the city in the Golden Sands that is the source for 64 rivers, yet the land has no ocean. All water, at least in that area, flows from the city, which happens to be where MC is essentially imprisoned in order to protect the immortality of the people of Philos. The people of Philos, at least in the Golden Sands, hoard the water, MC, and immortality, all of which they have essentially stolen from Rafayel.

No woods would grow

No life would never be ceased

Here we go to Zayne. Honestly, I would have expected “no woods would grow” to be connected to Xavier and Starfall Forest. And while that may be a part of it, the video seems to make a direct link to the thorns in the Tower of Thorns instead.

“No life would never be ceased” is particularly interesting for Zayne. It works well as a connecting theme between Doctor Zayne, Dawnbreaker Zayne, and Myth Zayne. 

Doctor Zayne is haunted by every patient he loses, keeping a tally of them to remember. He is particularly haunted by the death of William on Mt. Eternal. And he is frantically researching to find a way to prevent MC’s life from ceasing as well. Additionally, Zayne has an underlying anxiety of protecting MC from himself, and he seems to be a ticking time bomb with whatever is going on with his Evol.

Dawnbreaker Zayne ends life after life rather than allowing these people to devolve into monsters. However, he longs for Doctor Zayne's life, where he could save others instead of simply putting them out of their misery.

Meanwhile, Myth Zayne has watched MC die again and again and again, failing to save her each time, until he finally breaks the loop, sacrificing his life for hers.

Or somewhere they could start again

Where they would never be the same

Here we come to Xavier. He and MC fell in love when they were young (comparatively), but it quickly ended in tragedy. When he is reunited with her in his myth, it looks at first like they might have a chance of being together this time. But then he learns the truth behind Philos, Wanderers, and MC’s connection to it all, and all his focus and energy goes into saving her, rather than their relationship. Indeed, even in Anecdote 3, Xavier sacrifices his precious remaining time with her in a desperate bid to find a way to save her life. 

This appears to be true in the Main Story as well. Rather than prioritizing a relationship with you, he is trying to find a way to save you, both current you and the Queen he left behind on Philos. If only there were a way to break from this cycle. To start from the beginning, without the fighting, heartache, and loss, and just be together. Where he didn't have to say goodbye to her in a desperate bid to keep her alive.

Where rains everyday

Fain they would stay

This takes us back to Rafayel. Rafayel loves the rain, forgoing umbrellas to enjoy being soaked. And deserts, such as the Golden Sands, desperately need rain. So where is a place where the rains would be glad to stay? Where water is abundant, life giving, and free, rather than hoarded, trapped, and closely guarded? Somewhere the Lemurians can live freely without being hunted or enslaved? Where MC is not trapped in a fancy cage to be used as a battery for a whole planet?

“Fain they would stay” also goes back to Zayne in the video. Where is somewhere that he and MC can stay together, where he doesn't feel the need to pull away to keep her safe? Where they aren't pulled apart by divine or cosmic forces?

Following this is an instrumental section where we see the Deepspace Tunnel, then Mt. Eternal (Zayne), the coast of Hat Island (Rafayel), and Tracback II (Xavier).

Some forsake longevity

Then fading to dust

Some fall for eternal sleep

Their eulogies turn into gleaming stars

During this segment, there is a galaxy in the background that slowly grows into the distinct shape of an eye. (Such as the eye MC sees outside her window, the eyes of the drones around the city, the red eyes of the raven in the forest, the eye of Astra given to Zayne so he could see through time.)

And now we come full circle. We started with those wanting longevity rather than becoming dust, but here we come to those willing to give up their longevity to fade to dust. Similarly, we started with those longing for eternal sleep and eulogies in the stars, and here we have those who fall into that eternal sleep, and their eulogies are in fact etched into the stars.

I think all of this is an indication of how all three of these men, Rafayel, Zayne, and Xavier, are willing to give to their lives, their longevity, their immortality, for MC. And their heroic sacrifices are of the sort that are etched into the very stars, like those mythological heroes of ancient times.

Will they meet in stars again

Or gone with the wind

We see Xavier interacting with what appears to be a wrecked Traceback II or similar machinery. We see Zayne at Mt. Eternal under an aurora, either freezing or excavating something (a protocore?) buried in the ice there. And we see Rafayel working on his painting that seems to depict a mermaid tale in an underwater city, then he vanishes, leaving the painting covered in a bloody red.

These are the final scenes for these characters at the end of chapter 8.

Meeting in the stars seems particularly connected to Xavier, as he has a consistent star theme throughout his stories. Connecting to the earlier idea of constellations and mythological heroes, there are a number of versions of loved ones who could not meet/reunite on Earth, but were able to find each other as stars (i.e. Gemini, Vega and Altair, Andromeda and Perseus (less tragic), and some others too, I think.)

What I find particularly interesting is the reference to the wind. In the prologue of the Main Story, the voice on the radio tells us the winds are at 5 km/hr. In the epilogue of Chapter 8, the radio voice says the winds are at 7 k/m. In both the epilogue and the song, the mention of wind coincides with wind blowing through Rafayel's house as he works on his painting and then vanishes. Gone with the wind. Leaving a bloody sea behind.

Give me your thoughts, corrections, additions, what-have-you in the comments or PM me!

[ivyluvsyouu]

𝒐𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒆𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒑𝒕 𝟐

𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒔/𝒐 𝒅𝒊𝒆𝒔

𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒔: 𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄, 𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂,𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

𝑻𝒘: 𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒍𝒄𝒐𝒉𝒐𝒍𝒊𝒔𝒎

𝑫𝒊𝒍𝒖𝒄

"What?" He said as he dropped the bottle of wine, he was holding causing it to shatter all over the floor of his winery. The traveler looked down at his feet. "Y/n was killed on the commission" The traveler said keeping his head down the whole time. Diluc was in shock. He just nodded his head and cleaned up the broken glass on the floor. As he cleaned the glass a thousand thoughts ran through his mind. He couldn't believe you were gone. It didn't really fully register until he got home that night, and you weren't at home. He just tried to bury himself in his work to keep himself occupied. He bottled his emotions about the whole thing, and he didn't talk to a soul about it at first.

Kaeya had heard about your death, and he went to go check on Diluc. Even if they weren't on good terms, he wanted to make sure Diluc was okay. And much to Kaeya's suprise Diluc talked to him about it and how he was taking it. "I just can't believe there gone..." The whole thing made him somewhat closer to Kaeya. Kaeya would stop by the winery to check on Diluc.

𝑲𝒂𝒆𝒚𝒂

You had gotten extremely injured during a fight with a Fatui harbinger and the doctors told Kaeya that you didn't have long left. Kaeya stayed by your side the whole time you were dying, and he did everything he could to help you. He knew you weren't doing well at all, but he still believed that you could get through this. He knew you were strong and that's why he was so confident that you would survive. So, when a doctor came into his office telling him that you wouldn't be alive much longer, it devasted him. You died later that day, and all Kaeya could do was sit and watch.

He didn't take your death well at all. He already had bad drinking habits, but he turned to alcohol even more for comfort. He took time off of the knights so he could grieve. He eventually returned to work, and he returned to his old self, but he never forgot about you. Even years after your death he still found himself having nightmares about you.

𝑰𝒕𝒕𝒐

"Y/n's what!? Nonononono you've gotta mistaking my Y/n for someone else they promised me they'd be careful on their commission." Itto said shaking his head to the person you had gone on a commission with earlier that morning. Itto didn't believe it when they told him you were gone. But when the person was silent Itto's heart sank. He could tell this person was being serious. He didn't understand. It had only been a few hours how could something go wrong in that short amount of time. His gang members were behind him while Itto was talking to the person. Itto just nodded and stared at the ground "I think I'm gonna take off for the day." He said in a disappointed voice.

That was the last time his gang members saw him for a while. He wasn't in any of his usual spots in Inazuma. He just left a note for Shinobu telling her that he needed a few months to get his thoughts together. He didn't know what to do without you. It felt like a piece of him was missing and no matter what he did he couldn't get the feeling to go away.

He eventually returned to Inazuma, but he never got over you. He would often say things like "Y/n would know what to do." or "I wish Y/n was here they could help" He never got that empty feeling to go away. It was like you took a piece of his heart with you when you died.

thank you sm for reading!! requests are always open!!

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

hi idk if u take requests, but if u do could u write a Din x Reader where the reader gets really sunburnt and she doesn’t want to be a burden to Din so she doesn’t tell him, and then when he finds out he helps her treat it? I’d love if they admitted their feelings for each other in the end..

Din Djarin x Female!Reader

Warning: injury, mentions of blood and pain, self doubt and anxiety

Word Count: 1,890

a/n: i changed 'sunburnt' to a different injury and i hope that's okay. i only did that b/c if i wrote the reader as sunburnt i'd have to describe her skin color, and i like to keep my drabbles as inclusive as possible. hope you don't mind!

.

COMMON MISTAKE

"Pylades: I'll take care of you.

Orestes: It's rotten work.

Pylades: Not to me. Not if it's you."

.

Din told you to be careful. Actually, his exact words were, ‘Stop playing with your karking knife’. You, in all your excellent brilliance, had mouthed off a passive acknowledgement before continuing to play with your vibroblade. Although, ‘play’ was a strong word. You just wanted to get good at spinning it in your hand. Before you left Mandalore, you had seen Paz do it and since then you were determined to master that skill.

So, the summary was, Din told you to be careful, you had not been careful, and now you were bleeding. A lot. Dank farrik. In your defense, he had warned you that you were gonna cut your hand, and that was not what happened. You had tripped going up the ramp and accidentally skewered your thigh. Which, when worded that way, was ten thousand times worse. It was a good thing you hadn’t hit an artery because you would’ve bled to death before calling Din to let him know you were dying from an injury born of your own stupidity. 

“This is fine. I’m fine. No problem.” You mumbled to yourself as you wrapped your thigh with some padded gauze. You refused to use bacta on this. The thought of wasting the expensive and important medication on this injury only added guilt to your shame. “Everything is okay.” It looked good now all covered up and out of sight. Your pants were absolutely ruined with a hole in the thigh and blood that stained the entire length of your left leg, but it was fine. “I’m fine.”

If you repeated the word ‘fine’ enough times then it was bound to come true. Science.

You pushed off the cot to stand and nearly crumpled under the weight. Pain, hot and unbearable, rocketed from your hip down to your toes. Your entire left leg was angry and screaming at you. With a sharp breath, you forced yourself to walk and get a new pair of pants. Your communicator chirped a message that Din was on his way back with Grogu and that put a whole new level of panic on the situation. Getting your clothing situated, you chose to stand rather than sit. There was a solid chance if you sat down right now you wouldn’t be able to get back up.

Five minutes passed when Din came around the side of the ship to stand at the end of the ramp. Grogu was playing with an unfamiliar toy in the satchel by his side. The Mandalorian must have caved and bought the kid a new toy again.

“Hey,” Din called out without coming closer, “Are you done with the wiring?”

You had stayed behind to repair some loose wiring. Your sole job on the ship was to keep the damn thing in the air, and Maker did the Razor Crest fight you at every step. You nodded. “Yes. Yupp. All good.”

“Come with me.” Din motioned for you to follow after him. “I want to show you something in the town.”

You let out a quiet whimper as he slid out of view, and with a steadying breath you marched out with the most normal gait you could manage. Honestly, you were impressed with yourself. You’d be more impressed if you hadn’t stabbed yourself in the first place, but considering your situation you’d claim this victory. The town wasn’t far from where Din parked the ship and it was a small, but colorful village nestled in the wilds of Naboo. Somehow the fact that you injured yourself while the three of you were parked on one of the most relaxing and safe worlds out there only made your pride sting that much more. 

There was sweat beading on your forehead that you had to wipe away and your leg was burning in white, hot agony. Din continued to glance your way, you could feel his gaze, until he finally spoke. “You’re awfully quiet today, tranyc’ika.”

“Just… thinking.” You replied. It was a Maker damned miracle your words didn’t fall out with a whimper. Only a few paces ahead was a little shop that sold caf. Tables and chairs littered the outside patio and the second you and Din began to pass them, you drifted to take a seat. “Hey, how⏤ how about some caf, yeah?”

Din paused and just stared at you. You licked your lips and focused on taking slow breaths through your nose. Finally, Din shifted so he faced you dead on and his hands went to his hips. As if recognizing Din’s ‘lecture stance’, Grogu stopped playing to pay attention to what was happening.

“Walk to me.” He near demanded it.

“That’s a weird request.” You replied and made no move to stand. Din tilted his head at you. Dank farrik. Hands on hip and the head tilt. You were royally fucked. “Yeah, alright. Here I come.”

Just as you had guessed in the ship, the act of sitting down had ruined you. If your slow and shaky rise from the chair didn’t give you away, you took three steps before your left leg gave out on you completely. Before you could hit the ground, strong arms caught you with ease and you looked up to meet Din’s dark t-shaped visor.

“What did you kriffing do?”

“I, uh,” You offered him a sheepish smile, “I, maybe, stabbed myself. A little.”

You had gotten pretty good at reading Din’s body language which was why it was too easy to notice how his entire body stiffened. Without a word, he scooped you up into his arms, bridal style, and began to carry you back toward the ship. Grogu crawled up his dad’s side and found a home on your abdomen where he babbled at you in worry. The babbles were a fantastic distraction from the rage that seemed to waft off Din. When he got back into the cargo hold he carefully set you down after Grogu hopped off. His hands went back to his hip and you could only imagine he was glaring down at you through his visor. 

“Pants off. Now.” He snapped.

You had always dreamed of him saying that to you, but it always had a very different context than your current reality. With a pained sigh, you undid your belt then carefully shimmied out of your pants before leaning back on the metal crate behind you for balance. Din ripped his gloves off, tossing them down in a fit, but when his hands found your thigh his touch was soft and careful. 

Din peeled away the gauze you had applied and you realized you had nearly bled through more than half of the padding you had put down. The sound of a hiss escaped Din’s helmet when he saw your wound and you couldn’t help but wince as well. 

“Don’t move.” He said. Din’s voice left no room for argument as he drifted away. He returned with the first aid kit and you watched him pull out the bacta. You opened your mouth to argue, but the second a sound squeaked out of you his head snapped up to meet your eyes. You didn’t have to guess if he was glaring this time. You could feel the heat of it cutting through the visor and into your soul.

Moments after he applied the bacta, relief began to seep into your thigh. You couldn’t hold back the soft sigh that tumbled from your lips. Din carefully reapplied a new bandage once he was appeased with the amount of bacta he spread around and into the wound. You had hoped when he was finished he would just walk away and leave you to your misery, but you always had been a dumb, blind optimist and the galaxy loved to disappoint you.

Din set his hands on either side of you, knuckles white with how hard he gripped the edge of the crate, and he shook his head. “What happened?”

“I… I tripped. Fell on my knife.”

He sighed, “Are you out of your kriffing mind?”

“No.” You replied. “It’s not like I did it on purpose! I’m negligent, not insane.”

“You tripped, fell on your knife, stabbed yourself in the thigh, and then hid it from me?” Din’s voice grew louder with each event. His words pushing out in what was basically a growl.

You twisted your lips before nodding once. “That is an accurate description of events, yes.”

“Why⏤”

“Because Din!” You interrupted him. “First off, it’s the dumbest injury a person could possibly sustain so of course I didn’t tell you! Forget the karking wound, I nearly died of embarrassment.” You huffed a sigh and shook your head. “And, secondly, I’m so tired of feeling like a burden. You’re always there, taking care of me, and I just… I don’t want to be so dependent on you all the time.”

Din leaned in and you were surprised when he rested his head against your chest. Instinctively, your hands raised to wrap around his helmet, elbows resting on his shoulders. “Gar draar suvarir, tranyc’ika.” He mumbled and you only recognized your nickname. Din lightly shook his head against you. “I want to take care of you. I need to.”

“Why, Din? Why⏤”

“I don’t⏤” Din cut himself off with a grumble. Slowly, he lifted his head back up and your hands fell to his shoulders. “I’ve never been good at expressing myself with⏤ with words. But, I can take care of you. I can show you.”

“Oh.” You replied. Was he…? Did he…? You wondered if this was an admission or if your own feelings for him were biasing your thoughts. 

“So will you please, for the love the Maker, just let me take care of you?” Din breathed out.

You nodded. “Okay.”

Din’s body slumped with relief and he caught you off guard by pushing off the crate and pulling you into his arms for an embrace. His arms around you were tight⏤ as if desperate for the touch. When you leaned your weight into him, letting him hold you up, you heard him let out a soft sigh. One of his bare hands traced up your spine and cupped the back of your neck. Feeling the warmth of his hand press against your bare skin made your eyes flutter close.

“It’s a common mistake.” Din said quietly. It took you a moment to pull yourself out of the haze of bliss you had been lost in to hum out a reply. “I tripped and fell on my blade once.” 

Your lips pulled up into a smile. “Wait, really?”

“Yes, tranyc’ika.” Din replied. He chuckled. “Granted, it happened when I was seven.”

“Okay, touching moment of comfort, officially over.”

A laugh bubbled out from Din’s helmet, the sound comparable to a fresh breeze with the exhilaration it brought you. He pulled away from you, but left his hand on the back of your neck. Din quickly leaned forward, pressing his forehead to yours for a few seconds, before his hand fell away an the moment truly ended. You stared at him as he collected the first aid kit to put away. Before he could leave, your hand shot out to grasp his wrist.

"I..." You paused. "I think I'm better with words. And I, I just want you to know that you're so important to me, Din."

"I know." Din nodded. He flipped his hand over so he could squeeze your hand, and it brought a smile back to your face. "Now put your pants back on. Your stab wound interrupted our date."

"Wait, our what??"

mando'a translations:

Gar draar suvarir: You don't (never) understand.

tranyc’ika: sunshine (sunny one)

[jesterwriting]

(for that timeloop post,, uhm this relates to the whole body horror thing ((not too much just a brief mention)) so if rn u don't wanna see that SCROLL AWAY!!! OR DELETE ME!! OK disclaimer ends here)

oh man but what if Law did say room anyway and there were impossible scars on your insides... like littered everywhere, they're not fresh but old, almost phantoms that make no sense, because if they were real you would've died. how would he react to that? maybe not when he noticed them crying but after weeks or months, dunno, where they keep skipping his more thorough check-ups (where he uses his devil fruit) since they're anxious about the pains? and think that somehow there are signs of their previous deaths and the mention of them makes it hurt more and more and they just can't do it. but they can't bring themselves to say it because who could possibly believe them? if Law doesn't, it would just feel even worse, won't it? even if they understand his point of view. maybe they even die in front of him and it gets harder to just hold all of that in,,, oh boy. if you think about continuing your oneshot i'll eat it like a starving animal!

pairing: law x gn!reader

contents: slight body horror, slight gore, timeloops, suicide done to restart the loop, hurt/comfort, happy ending,

word count: 1.6k words

note: OHHHHH I LOVED THIS IDEA OH MY GOD. absolutely so smart. anon your mind is huge and i had so much fun doing this request. <33 i really hope you enjoy :33

playlist: caribou - tanya tagaq

a sister fic to this

This had never happened before. You had experienced hundreds of loops, maybe even thousands, and this was the first time Law saw fit to scan you with his Devil Fruit.

Maybe you were getting sloppy. You had a strong immune system so you never got sick, and the first time Law scanned you for your general checkup upon joining the crew, there was nothing of note. You wondered what changed, as if you hadn’t died more times since you joined his crew than you had in your entire life. Maybe it was because the more you suffered, the more reckless you became, throwing yourself into the fray with little regard for yourself. You could take a bullet for your crewmates, so you would. It was as simple as that.

There was a first time for everything, you supposed. A first death, a first breath, a first kill; there were uncountable firsts that one could experience, and you had experienced most of them.

Not this one, though.

You had tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Your captain was a man who carried burdens, ones almost as heavy as the ones on your shoulders. If he knew how many times he failed you — or how many times you failed him — you knew he would take all the blame for himself. As if you hadn’t been the one lying, and fighting, and dying over the course of countless lifetimes.

Law blinked a few times before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. You fidgeted under his stare. If his reaction was anything to go by, he found something horribly wrong with you. While you had experienced slow deaths before, you had never experienced what it felt like to waste away from disease. Maybe you’d find out this loop, you thought, trying to feel nonchalant about the idea and not like you were about to throw up.

“Um. What’s wrong,” You tried.

Law shushed you, the blue glow from his room still surrounding you. You bit your tongue, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt to try and take your mind off of whatever he could have found.

“This can’t be right,” He muttered, one hand cradling his chin. He pointed to your chest. “There’s a scar inside of you, it looks like a puncture wound through your lungs. When did that happen?”

Three loops ago when you fell off a building and onto some rebar. That was a particularly awful death. The last thing you remembered before everything went black was Law’s panicked expression as he tried to put you back together again. There was terror in his eyes. You tried not to think about that part.

“And here,” Law continued, pointing to your abdomen. “There’s a scar running across the length of your stomach. It almost looks as if you were previously disemboweled.”

You had been. Multiple times. It was a common and very disturbing loop ender that you tried to avoid if you could. Watching your organs fall out of you in a steaming heap was never something you liked to experience, but for some reason, your opponents kept aiming for the gut. You wished they’d aim for the heart or the head more often. At least then it’d be quick.

He didn’t stop there, jaw falling open when he stared directly where your heart was. “When were you stabbed, Y/N-ya, this looks recent.” Law blinked a few times before realization dawned on his features. His eyes shot to your face, expression going from open to unreadable in seconds. “How did you survive without my intervention?”

Your mouth was dry. How were you supposed to respond? There was no way you could tell him that you had died on his watch more times than you could count. Law didn’t deserve that. Your captain was a good man, one you loved admired far too much to allow this to weigh him down. He would take your failures to heart, completely discounting the amount of times that he had saved you from having to start anew.

You must have been quiet for too long because Law was speaking again. “Answer me.”

“It’s from a long time ago,” You said.

That was a lie. It was from the previous loop. A quick death by your own hand over the cold corpse of your captain. If Law didn’t survive, there was no point in continuing, and if there was one thing you had grown accustomed to, it was taking your own life after one loss too many. You knew how to make it quick, no suffering. So with a precise hand, you drove your knife into your chest and let the timeline begin anew.

When you saw Law again, whole and alive, you vomited. You were under the impression that he believed that you simply ate some bad seafood, but from the concern that was slowly etching its way onto his features, you weren’t so sure of that now.

“Don’t lie to me.” Law’s eyes flashed, barely contained frustration needling at the corners of him. “None of this makes any sense, half of these injuries should have killed you. The other half would have needed to be treated.”

The truth sat on the tip of your tongue. You felt selfish and needlessly cruel for your desire to tell Law what was really happening. Your eyes burned, and their glassy sheen didn’t go unnoticed. Law handed you a tissue, expression softening.

“I- um.” You hated how your voice cracked. It had been a long time since you told someone about your Devil Fruit. You always died, and they always forgot. For a long time, you thought it was better that way, carrying this weight on your own. The way Law looked at you, though, it made you want to pour your soul out to him. Every pain, every loss, every death lain at his feet, and for once, you could stand unburdened. “It’d be wrong of me to tell you.”

Law’s eyebrows knit together. “Now you’re being stupid.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll regret asking once you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t deserve my troubles on top of that. It’s better for both of us if you just forget what you saw.”

With that, you stood and made to brush past Law and out of the room. He grabbed you by the shoulder, not allowing you to go any farther. Though his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt. If you really wanted to, you could wrench yourself away from him.

“You’re trembling.”

Your lower lip wobbled, your resolve ebbing away by the second. “It’s complicated.”

“So tell me.” Law’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

You let out a small huff. He didn’t deserve this, but there would always be another loop. This current one hadn’t been going so well, and by your estimation, it would take at least three more before you managed to reach your next checkpoint. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Law what he inevitably wouldn’t remember. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and turned to face him, his eyes met yours with a mix of concern and exasperation.

“It’s my Devil Fruit,” You started. Law leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms, attention solely on you. Your heart thundered in your chest. “I’ve died so many times.” Without your permission, your breath hitched. Law’s hand encircled your own with a small squeeze, encouraging you to continue. “It, um, brings me back, I guess. I’ll die, and then wake up in the bunkhouse days earlier, and I’ll be the only one who remembers what happened. All those scars you saw were what killed me in a previous loop.”

He was silent while he chewed on his words.

“How many times have you died since you joined my crew,” Law finally asked.

Your hand was still in his and you gave it a squeeze. “That’s not fair. I know what you’re doing and I won’t let you do it.”

Law’s shoulders slumped as he brought his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you. It explains a lot. I noticed you cry in your sleep sometimes.”

“You watch me sleep?” The tips of Law’s ears were tinged pink while you laughed.

“I was worried so I checked on you.” With a sigh, he began to lead you out of the clinic to his office. “Come on, you’re telling me everything you can remember. We’re going to come up with a plan.”

Humoring him, you followed close on his heels. It didn’t matter how long or how hard you planned, there was no accounting for the unpredictability of the universe. This comfort wouldn’t last long. Soon, you would be dead again and the cycle would start anew. That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy sharing a space with your captain, listening to him meticulously craft tactics to keep you, and everyone else, alive.

It wasn’t until four days later you found yourself breathing, though covered head to toe in blood, with the rest of the crew. Everyone was safe and sound, and Law wouldn’t stop looking at you with a smirk on his face. When you found yourself next to him, he bumped his shoulder against yours.

“I told you my plan would work.”

Just like that, for the first time in your life, you were no longer alone.

[ramons-elevator]

Can we talk about how fucking traumatized the eggs are for a second?

They have been alive for like a month(?) now and have been through so much shit. They have watched 3 of their siblings die, one of them died twice. A mysterious death code has attacked them multiple times, some eggs more than others. They have been kidnapped twice, the second time coming back cracked.

And thats just them as a whole. Lets not forget about their individual traumas. For example:

- Dapper has died twice, but yet escaped death. Those deaths were 1) being crushed by cog wheels and 2) helplessly watching your dad screaming, trying to get you to move, but you cant

- Leo died by Vegetta’s sword but came back. Only to helplessly die alone on a boat while your father wasnt there

- Also Leo falling asleep, but jumping out of bed to desperately ask your dad what happening as you watch your sibling die in the game chat, unable to help with being thousands of blocks away

- Chayanne had to watch Tallulah, the one person he swore to always protect, die and then dying while his father apologize to him.

- Also Chayanne feeling like a failure because he couldnt save Tilin, Juanaflippa, and Trump.

- Ramon has escaped death so many fucking times. He has popped so many totem of undying. At this point, Death probably feels like a friend at this point.

-Bobby had to watch his mom fall to her death as he died surrounded by monsters. Then be stabbed by the Code Monster™️ and drown as his dad was trying to get him back up.

-I cant even unpack the amount of shit Tallulah has been through. Kidnapped, abandoned, died next to her abuelito, constant fear of being kidnapped, etc

- Richarlyson died his first day in a mine with two of his dads screaming in fear. Then die a day or so later by a bull right next to your own home, watching Fit run over to try to help only to not make it in time.

- Also Richarlyson being thrown head first into the bullshit of the island. Its only been a week but jesus fucking christ.

-Also also, Leo and Bobby both having their best friends, Trump and Tilin, die. One from neglect and one from the hands of Charlie. I bet they both feel guilty and that they could’ve done something to prevent it.

They have been through so much. Roier needs to open more appointments for these kids

[sam-winchester-admiration-league]

I love Sam’s expression when he see the new heaven for the first time…

The Supernatural finale made the previous 15 seasons more meaningful and I can rewatch them knowing there is a beautiful ending for Sam and Dean in their earned eternal peace together. Not many series finale can do that for their fans, for this I am very grateful for this near-perfect SPN finale.

Sam and Dean passed away on their own terms: Dean on a hunt and be the first to go before Sam, and Sam in his bed with his son at his side. They died free, and are eternally free and at peace. This time death was not a punishment, Dean woke up in a beautiful, peaceful Heaven, knowing all his loved ones were there and he could see them anytime.  Then Sam honored Dean’s dying wish for him to live a full and happy life and he carry on the on the Winchester legacy.

It’s just so fitting and perfect that Supernatural started with baby Sam assaulted in his crib and his room destroyed in a fire and the Winchesters driven out of the house, to Supernatural ending with old Sam dying peacefully at his house in his bed with his son at his side. I agree with this analysis that had Sam died before experiencing normal life with his own family, his soul wouldn’t be whole and may even make him incompatible with Dean in heaven.  It makes me very irrationally happy that Sam and Dean reunite in heaven as their own persons but still very much the halves of one soul.

Our "Carry On" tag is a collection of real time positive reactions, analysis, reviews, fanart, and tribute from close to thousand fans. Read to relive the best feels of the finale!

[unfortunately-obsessed]

Really?? Happy Nation playing five seconds before shit hits the fan?? The fact the lyrics just tells you what's going to happen I- the whole dance sequence?? He wanted to make her his queen,,

And can you imagine how touch starved Rogue is?? Imagine not being able to touch people for your whole life?? The dance started so polite, they floating and Rogue's on control and then as soon he has the green lights Magneto losing all filter– sir you're in public

The whole "we're travelling in time" right before Cable shows up trying to prevent the massacre from happening (?) telling people to stop the music, just desperate before death falls from the sky

Leech saying "Callisto's going to save us" but we just saw Callisto's corpse going cold, then "If not her, then Magneto," and Erik dying trying to do save them. "They shall be avenged" and angry tears of Magneto

Erik having to go through it all again, Erik dying with his heart broken but still saving Rogue because he do love her, having to prevent Rogue from jumping into danger and having to prevent Gambit too because Gambit would follow her into the depths of hell (just like he would). The thousand-words stare, their locked eyes

At first one must've thought that the whole telepathic headshot aimed to Jean but taking into consideration how more fierce and visceral Madelyn's reaction was I think it was directed to her actually, and Jean felt because of some remnant of psych bond

Cable's "not again-" (did this happen before?? How many times did he try to prevent this from happening?) "I'm sorry, mom" towards Madelyn I– is she dead now?

Not the first time Rogue feels Gambit skin being the only time she can't feel him. Feeling his dead body growing cold, not breathing, not being able to feel him

"we would carry the dream but never live it" got me thinking that maybe Magneto is dead despite my best hopes, that maybe Rogue is going to assume as the queen of a broken dream, a devasted land and grieving people

"how many?" well, most of them. Dazzler probably, Callisto definitely, maybe Shaw, maybe Moira, maybe Banshee

The episode starts as a love letter to mutants, to Xavier's dreams, and ends up in a bloodied massacre

Nothing's good gonna happen if you see the Watcher sneaking up and known time travellers scrambling around

[manddor]

GUT WRENCHING ANGST with ajax please thank uu

anything you ask, darling! @bwitch3d asked for something similar, so i made just one! thanks for the request. this one is a little long, but i hope u guys like it <33

ajax petropolus x fem!reader — forbidden lovers; angst + fluff at the end

NO MATTER THE CONSEQUENCES

You remember exactly how your first year at Nevermore was. Traumatic. You were excited to make friends, since you felt extremely lonely at home. You were an only child and your parents never gave you enough attention. So you wanted to have friends that you could play with. Things that children normally want.

You met wolves, vampires, mermaids and gorgons - a species your parents despised. Although, you wanted to befriend each one of them.

Ajax Petropolus, a gorgon, gave you a huge smile and asked you to sit next to him in your first class. “Is this your first day here?” the boy's thin voice made you crack a smile.

“Yeah! How about you?” the boy nodded and you both spent the whole year together. Having fun, studying together. He became your first and best friend on Nevermore and you made a lot of other friends - but where you were, Ajax was and where Ajax was, you were.

When the holidays arrived, you were dying for your families to meet so you could spend the holidays together, but when your mothers saw each other, it was a disaster.

“You!” the two spoke at the same time. You and Aj looked at each other confused. They already knew each other and it seemed like it hadn't been a good interaction.

“What I said about gorgons, y/n! We despise them” your mother said and you felt the blood rush to your head.

“But mom-“ you tried to speak but Ajax's mom cut you off.

“You two are forbidden to talk-“

“Oh dear, let me give orders to my daughter, you should take care of this boy” your mother interrupted. How could they do this to you?

“Let’s go, Aj” the boy looked at you with no sparkle in his eyes. You could tell he was devastated. And you were too. You could feel your heart being shattered into a thousand pieces.

On vacation, obviously you weren't going to give up on Ajax’s friendship, so you sent him secret letters every day - since your mother had confiscated your cell phone. But he didn't answered.

You thought it might be his mom who wouldn't let him send letters, so when your classes started again, you tried to talk to him.

The boy was in the library, reading a book very concentrated. “We can't do this” he whispered without looking at you. He looked around, like he was embarrassed that someone would see you talking with him.

“Come on, Aj! You gotta be kidding” you nudged him, trying to make the boy laugh.

“I'm serious” he looked into your eyes in a way that broke your heart. It couldn't be true. “You need to get out of here, I'm busy.”

You stood there for a few moments and left. Not even noticing that a few tears were falling from your eye. Your first friend in Nevermore already hated you and haven’t done anything.

In class, Ajax talked to everyone normally, but he refused to look at your face. The rarely looks that he gave you were filled with sadness. He got close to Enid and Xavier - he spoke to them the way he spoke to you and it made your heart break even more.

Even though time passed, every vacation you had, you tried to find out what happened between your families, but you haven’t found anything.

“Mom, but forbidding me to talk to Ajax is surreal! Why so much hate between you and his family?” you insisted on every family dinner.

“Still not over it, y/n? Have you fallen in love with a gorgon?” your mother teased you.

“Of course not!” she smiled satisfied by your answer and it drove you crazy. “But what if I were, what would you do?” your mother gave you a death glare.

“Is this boy trying to make contact with you?”

“No, because you forbade us to talk!” you snapped.

“Honey, if he cared about your friendship, he would’ve gone after you...which didn’t happened.” the woman said like she was deathly sorry for you. If you could, you would leave your house and never come back again.

“You disgraced my life in Nevermore.” you leave the table.

“I think she needs a therapist” you heard your father whisper across the table.

But this year you swore it would be different. As much as you hated to admit it, your mother was right. If Ajax still wanted to be your friend he would at least smile at you. So the best thing you could do for your mental health was to give up trying to find a reason for your ‘breakup’ and enjoy the year in Nevermore.

And so you did, you met a funny girl - Wednesday Addams - she barely smiled, didn't even show much affection, but she shared her thoughts and theories about the monster that was in town with you.

“I think you're the only decent person after Enid in this school” she affirmed and you took it as the best compliment you had ever received in your life.

You also started seeing a boy. His name was Ryan - he was tall, brunette, dark skinned. He was handsome and fun. You were missing so bad to laugh with someone that it turned into something bigger.

“I think we should date, like boyfriend and girlfriend thing” Ryan whispered to you one day while you were studying in the library. Your hand sweated and your heart raced. You felt like you were more scared than excited.

You felt that the boy was strange today, his legs were always shaking. He seemed distant and you didn't want to disturb him. Thought it was a problem with his grades - but now you realized that it could be the nervousness of asking you to be his girlfriend.

“W-what?” you stuttered, not knowing if it was true or not. You thought you didn’t matched in that way, he was nothing like you. “Are you serious?” the boy just smiled but you felt like it wasn’t a honest gesture.

"Great, girlfriend! We're dating now" he yelled for the entire library to hear. Some applauded, others asked for silence and you still didn't know how to react. What just happened here?

The next day, the news had already spread throughout the school. Even Weems came to talk to you. “Congratulations on your relationship, y/n! But I don't want to see him go to your room at night!” she laughed. “I remember my teenage days like it was yesterday.” she threw a wink in your direction and walked away.

But you started to feel uncomfortable when you walked down the hall and everyone started whispering and looking at you. If there was one thing you hated, it was having attention towards you. Something Ryan loved.

“Are you alright?” Enid asked you as soon as you sat in your seat to start class.

“Apart from all those stares, I am” you flashed a smile at her and the girl put a hand on your arm.

“If you need anything I'm here, I ended up not posting this gossip on my blog, but that's because we're friends and I would hate to make you uncomfortable” she said making you confused.

“Thanks… I guess” you whispered the last sentence as soon as Tornhill entered the class

Your gaze met Ajax's who was staring at you as if you had just beaten him in a fencing duel, he was sad and nervous. This minimal interaction had been the only one in years. Your heart sped up and you hated the feeling.

At break, you spotted your boyfriend who was laughing with his friends. When they saw you, the boys moved away and Ryan looked a little nervous. He didn't even kissed you. Maybe it was because there were a lot of people around him still whispering about you.

“Everyone is talking about us!” you whispered to him.

“I know! And I'm so sorry, y/n! I swear it meant nothing to me.” he stammered.

“W-what?” you asked.

“Haven’t you heard?” he seemed relieved.

“Heard of what?” you murmured. Your attention turned to a murmur behind you.

“I can't believe Ryan hooked up with Barbara! I thought he and y/n were dating.”

“Not everything is as it seems, right?”

“He told me he asked Y/n to date just so she wouldn't feel so bad”

What the hell?

To be honest, you didn't feel sad that he had cheated on you, you felt embarrassed that everyone was gossiping about you the whole day and you didn’t even knew about that. You thought talking to Enid and getting the full story before you looked anyone in the face would be a great idea.

You couldn't even look at Ryan’s face again as he grabbed your arm trying to say something you weren’t able to hear. So you ran towards Enid's dorm.

You were so immersed in your own thoughts that you didn't even notice when you bumped into Ajax in the hallway, knocking over all five books the boy was holding in his hands. “I'm sorry” you murmured helping him pick it up. You thought he was going to fight you or ignore you like nothing happened - as he always did.

“You alright?” he asked still gathering some books.

“You know about it?” you asked and the boy answered you with a simple nod. You got mad at him for it. You'd rather he had just ignored you, because he didn't want to know about your life for all these years. Now that you had been 'chetead' he wanted to know how you were?

“Why do you care?” The boy swallowed hard and didn't give you any answers. You handed him the books and got back to what you really intended to do.

Enid told you that they had hooked up the day before Ryan asked you to be his girlfriend. Barbara - a girl you didn’t even know - was jealous and that's why she spread it to the whole school. “You really liked him?” the blonde asked you with a look of comfort. You knew you could trust her.

“To be honest, I don't think so. In fact, I didn't even say ‘yes’ when he asked me. I didn't disagree either... but I was in shock! I just didn't know what to do or what to say." you heard Wednesday snort and you and Enid looked over at the girl who seemed to be concentrated on her book.

“Ryan is the ugliest, dumbest person l've ever seen in my entire life!” you and Enid burst out laughing, Wednesday cracked a small smile.

“It's true, though, y/n, you deserve a person who wants to give you the world…” the blonde said holding your hands. “You and Ajax would be cute together” you felt your heart ache and tears gathered in your eye.

“Ajax and I are barely friends…” you knew that Enid was going to say something, but you chose to interrupt her. “| need to go up to my room, l'm a little tired and hungry! Thanks for everything girls, see you later.”

On the same night, when you got to your dorm, you thanked Bianca for being a girl who stayed in the library studying at midnight, so you would have free time to put your thoughts in order. As soon as you started to think about what happened in your day, all of your thoughts turned to books on the floor and a simple question. “You alright?”

You rolled over in bed trying to think about your boyfriend... ex boyfriend or whatever! And you were stressed for not being able to feel even an ounce of sadness for the cheating. In fact, you didn't even know if you could call it cheating, because it was supposed to be something sad and coming from someone you loved, but you didn't love Ryan.

So your thoughts - these were treacherous indeed - went back to every moment of your childhood that you spent next to Ajax. And how your separation hurt. That was a real feeling, someone you loved couldn’t be with you. And you hated him for not fighting for your friendship.

You hated him for every look he threw your way. Hated it when he didn't look. Hated that he talked with Enid the same way he did with you. You hated yourself for still having such strong feelings for him that you couldn't get over even after all these years.

The tears finally ran down your cheeks, and they became uncontrollable, you started sobbing. It was suffocating. You wanted to scream, you wanted to smack something, but all you did was lie in bed and try to sleep.

When you started to stop crying and feel sleep coming on, someone knocked on your door. “Who is it?” you screamed from your bed. Sometimes it could just be a prank that freshmen girls did, or it could be Bianca who forgot her key.

“It's me.” Ajax. Your heart went into your mouth. You couldn't open the door, your face was red and swollen from crying.

“What do you want?” you asked, getting up from the bed and heading towards the door.

“I just want to talk, okay?” he said quietly. Ok, you would have to open the door, it would be very impolite if you didn't.

You ran to the bathroom and washed your face hoping it wasn't so obvious that you had been crying all night because of him. He would think it was because of Ryan, though.

When you opened the door, you felt your heart beat even faster. He was gorgeous it actually hurts. He carried a box of chocolate in his hand, the box you shared when you were kids. You also noticed that his eyes were black and his nose was bleeding.

You didn’t say a word, you went to your bathroom to clean him.

“Are you crying?” he asked as soon as he entered your dorm.

“I was trying to sleep” you dodged the question.

“I didn't know that trying to sleep you needed to cry” he opened a sarcastic smile, but you remained serious. You weren't going to talk to him like you'd been friends forever. You started to clean the boy’s nose.

“What happened here?” you asked softly, and the boy looked at your eyes and you already knew the answer. He was fighting with Ryan.

“Sorry.” he whispered.

“For what exactly?” you teased and he looked at the floor.

“A lot of things” he whispered. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Ajax, I don't even know if you can explain yourself to me! You didn't want to fight for our friendship. Maybe I wasn't as important to you as you were to me-“

“That's not true and you know it” he interrupted you.

“No, I don't! How am I supposed to know if you started to despise me, you wouldn't even look at me.” you already felt your tears coming back.

“Just answer me one thing” he approached you, your heart was beating too fast. “Were you crying for Ryan?” Ouch. he touched your wound, but you wouldn't lie. You swallowed.

“No.” he closed his eyes for a few seconds, suppressing a smile, murmuring ‘good’. His croaky voice made you weak. Ajax knew he was the reason you were crying for.

“So let me explain” you walked away from him and sat on your bed, waiting for him to start. “Well, you know our moms aren't friends. And I questioned why all vacation that year.” At least it wasn't just you.

“I found a very beautiful knife in my grandfather's office, I asked him what it was and he told me that that knife should only be used to kill people of your species.” What? You started to get nervous. “He told me that a long time ago, a man of your kind had a relationship with a gorgon who was married... it turned out that they fought for their honor and the lover ended up winning... killing a gorgon.” This was looking like a book story, you were outraged. “So to this day our species hate each other.”

“But we could have fought it, that's no reason to-“

“You haven't changed at all, y/n! I'm not done yet…” you held back a laugh and he noticed, opening a shy smile. “I did something I had never done before, I argued with my family. I told you that you were the most special person I had ever known, that tradition could be broken, that we could declare peace.” he swallowed hard before starting. “But then they said that they would put people to observe us, and if anyone saw us together, they would hurt you.” he said. “And you know that Weems is a friend of my parents. Maybe you didn't realize it, but she watched us all day, if it wasn't her, it was Professor Tornhill.” Wow. “And I decided to stay away from you, to protect you, but you don't know how much it hurt me” he sat by your side and put his hand on his head. “And then I saw you with Ryan, like come on? He's an idiot!” you didn't know what to do or what to say.

You spent a few minutes with him in the same position. His nose made a noise and you knew he was crying. Shit. “I was worried that someone would say something to you that would upset you or do something to you and I wouldn't be there to protect you” he finally lifted his head and wiped away the tears. “So I didn't know what to do, if I stayed close, they would hurt you, if I stayed away, I couldn't protect you! I hate this! I hate that we've been put in this situation. I hate that there's no way out of this. But worst of all, I hate that I love you.” What? He loved you? Wow. Your hand began to sweat. Again.

“What made you change your mind?” you asked.

“I know I can't take this anymore. I can't hear your name on everyone's lips, knowing that there are people out to hurt you. I know my life would be so much easier if I wasn't in love with you. I promised to stay away from you, but I can’t. You are the bane of my existence. And I want… need to be with you, no matter the consequences.” he looked into your eyes and held your hand, you smiled, your entire body feeling warm, with a few tears falling from your eyes.

“I’m determined to leave my house if I have to. Let's create our own lives. I honestly don’t give a fuck about people say. We are destined to be together, I've never even thought that I could love someone as hard as i love you.” you walked up to him and wiped away a tear on his face.

You kissed him and it was a little wet due to crying. But it was sweet. It was desperate. You knew you love him. And you loved him so much, that it was killing you.

“I love you” he whispered against your mouth.



[strangemagicc]

WADWSH | Chapter Two - The Date

masterlist | <prev | next>

pairings: 2000s!actor!Steve x fem!Reader, 2000s!bestfriend!Eddie x fem!Reader, love triangle, (based loosely on the movie Win a Date with Tad Hamilton)

summary: your date with Steve Harrington 🩵

author’s note: Are any of us surprised that Steve won the poll? No. Does that mean I will reveal who steals reader's heart? Still no, we're on this ride together 😉 but you might get one final chance to persuade me

w/c: 6.4k - this one got away from me lol

warnings: pining / angst, mentions of parental death, living in poverty, let me know if I missed anything!

The trailer was warm, fans blowing high in anticipation of the nearing heatwave. Sweat clung to your chest as you paced your small kitchen, the microwave hummed, kernels heating in small spurts. You waited for the popcorn to finish, head in the clouds as the seconds ticked down. It had been nearly a month since you entered the drawing to win a date with your favorite Hollywood hunk and still you heard nothing. It felt silly to think you had a chance among the thousands, millions, of fans who had probably entered more times than you could afford. You were slowly coming to terms that your dream date was a figment of your imagination. The microwave beeped loud and shrill, the tone dying at the end of its last alert. The clunker was on its final leg. You shook the bag of popcorn, hoping the butter would stick to each kernel instead of the paper bag, and plopped the contents into a communal bowl. You grabbed more snacks, cherry Twizzlers for Eddie and mini-butterfingers for Holly who were both over for movie night and griping about what exactly the three of you would watch.

“Eddie we are not watching Friday the 13th again and plus you chose last time,” Holly rolled her eyes and made grabby hands for the remote that Eddie was holding just out of her reach.

“Excuse me for not wanting to spend ninety minutes watching Steve Harrington struggle through his lines,” he mocked, remote still lifted away from the blonde’s reach. You swooped in from the kitchen with the bowl of popcorn in one hand and grabbed the remote from his outstretched grasp with the other.

“Hey,” Eddie whined, head thrown back onto the couch.

“Sorry Ed, majority rules,” you stuck your tongue out as you climbed over his outstretched legs and settled into the cushion beside him on the couch, coils squeaking as you did. Eddie grabbed a handful of kernels and chucked them at you as he spread his legs wider, thigh brushing yours as he got comfortable. You returned the favor and watched the popcorn stick to his curls, tangling in his hair. He huffed a small chuckle, untangling them and plopping them into his mouth with an exaggerated crunch, eyes trained on you as he chewed obnoxiously.

“Ugh,” you rolled your eyes and focused on the opening credits. Mood shifting as you anticipated the moment Steve’s face appeared on the screen. The movie was a period piece set during World War Two. Lovers torn apart by war and time, never destined to be. You held in your sobs as Steve’s character confessed his love before he boarded a train. A passionate kiss and a final goodbye. His character dead before the end of the war. Eddie watched you from the corner of his eye as you shed silent tears, wiping at them to no avail as they left splotches on your shirt.

“Oh brother,” he griped around a mouthful of licorice, watching you and Holly sob as the credits rolled.

“Wasn’t that so good?” The blonde asked, eyes jumping between you and the grump at the other end of the couch.

“The last twenty minutes were my favorite,” he nodded, a knowing grin situated on his face as he looked at the two of you. The last twenty minutes Steve was noticeably absent.

“You just don’t appreciate true talent,” you wiped the remainder of your tears as Eddie laughed at you.

“Babe, I have more talent in this little pinky than Harrington has in his whole body,” he argued, grin a little smug as he stared you down, pinky wagging for emphasis.

“Oh really, I don’t recall seeing your name in lights or in any magazines,” Holly chimed in.

“That’s because I won’t sell my soul to the Hollywood machine, baby girl,” and she scoffed at the nickname.

“Sounds a lot like an excuse Munson,” she said his name as though it were a swear word.

You hopped from the couch as they bickered, tiny jabs poked into each other while you cleaned their snacks from the coffee table. Their voices were muffled over the noise of the sink but you watched as they argued, animated hands emphasizing their opposing points and chuckled to yourself. The three of you had been friends since you were kids and every Thursday night since middle school played out the same. Arguments over what movie to watch, Eddie sardonic and a little condescending whenever your latest celebrity crush was the focus of that week’s movie night. He was into blood and gore, slasher flicks from the eighties. Anything that didn’t include Steve Harrington on the cast list.

“What’s that?” Eddie’s voice was loud above the sound of the sink, grabbing your attention. You looked at him first and saw the question in his gaze before looking to where his finger pointed. Bright lights showed through your curtains casting shadows along your walls. You turned the sink off and wiped your hands with a kitchen towel, eyebrows pulled inward as you walked closer to the window.

“I have no idea,” you muttered and pulled the curtains back. A news van was lined up in front of your trailer, rows of people facing your front door and you turned back to your friends.

“It’s the news,” you stated, still unsure of why they would be at your front door.

“Eddie, what did you do?” Holly accused, shooting a side-eye his way.

“What makes you think it was something I did?” He questioned, tone only slightly offended by the accusation but the conversation was cut off by a sharp knock at the door. You stood still, eyes bulging as you looked at the door unsure of what to do.

“Well, are you going to answer it?” Eddie asked and you looked at him, panic rising. He rolled his eyes, moved off the couch with a huff, and flung open the door.

“Good evening, I’m Alexa with Fox59 is (Y/N) home?” Eddie turned to you, nodding his head in the newscaster's direction and you stared at him with a slack jaw. Unable to move or form a sentence. He shook his head at you, moving the few steps it took to grab your hand and bring you to the front door.

“Are you (Y/N)?” The newscaster asked, white teeth framed by a bold pink lipstick. You recognized her from TV, nights spent watching the late-night news. You nodded rapidly at her question still unable to find your voice.

“Congratulations!” Her voice was loud, exaggerated excitement and you weren’t sure what she was congratulating you about. Eddie took in the scene, neighbors standing in your small slice of a yard and gawking at you. The newscaster with her big red hair and overdone face smiling at you waiting for your response. The lights of the cameras were bright, almost overwhelming under their beams and Eddie could feel the heat rising to his neck at the amount of eyes that were currently on the both of you. Not to mention all those who were watching from home.

“Uh, what is this about?” He asked Alexa quietly.

“She just won a date with Steve Harrington!” The newscaster explained and Holly screamed from her place on the couch, running toward you to celebrate. Grabbing your arm as she jumped up and down at the news. Eddie stood statuesque, face a mask as he processed the news.

“Oh my god, we are so excited!” Holly screamed once more but you were stunned silent, unable to process your fortune. You’d never thought you’d call yourself lucky. The world kept spinning, Alexa talking at what felt like a mile a minute detailing your prize.

“You’ve won a first-class flight to LA, all expenses paid suite, and a shopping spree to prepare you for your date night with one of America’s biggest stars.” Your eyes grew wide as you gulped at the news, realization finally creeping in.

You won a date with Steve fucking Harrington.

“Tell me why I have to go on a date with someone from my hometown?” Steve scoffed as he turned off his TV, eyebrows set in an angry scowl.

“We need to remind everyone that you are the boy next door, that you have blue-collar roots, and that you’re not just some playboy running around tinsel town,” Jones stated as though this were obvious.

“My dad worked as the COO for a Fortune 500 and my mom got to retire early, not exactly blue-collar,” Steve huffed.

“Details schmetails, all they need to see is a big-time star returning to his roots in small-town America even if that’s just a date with a girl from Hawkins, Indiana,”

“What’s her name again?” Dennis told him, patience wearing thin.

“Oh she sounds real cute,” Steve muttered sarcastically, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he poured himself a drink.

“It doesn’t matter if she’s the next Angelina Jolie or if she looks like something from the county fair, you’re going on a date with her and you’re going to be nice,” Dennis hung up before Steve had time to argue.

“H-hello?” Steve stammered into the dead tone before throwing his earpiece off and taking a large gulp of whiskey, wincing at the sting of the alcohol. He repeated your name to himself, checking how it felt on his tongue. Steve rolled his shoulders as he thought about your date, frustration settling into his muscles.

“You have to give me every detail, how he smells, how bright his eyes really are in person,” Holly grabbed your hands as the three of you stood outside of the TSA line.

“I’ll tell you everything,” you promised.

“I want a report so good that I can smell him too, and if you kiss-“

“I doubt that’s going to happen,” you laughed, nerves settling into your stomach.

“Oh please, he’ll get one look at you and have to.”

“Don’t go wishing hell on her,” Eddie scoffed and nudged Holly out of the way pulling you into his arms. His lips settled by your ear, warm breath fanning against your skin. He smelled of bergamot and tobacco, a small hint of the spearmint gum he was chewing so he could try to kick the bad habit.

“Just have fun okay? Don’t let him be a creep or try anything slick. I will drive to Hollywood and kick his ass if he does, I promise,” you laughed against his chest knowing that he was sincere, and nodded at his words.

“I’ll try my best,” Eddie’s eyes started to turn into saucers, “to have fun.” You corrected. The time to take off was ticking down and you still had to get through security. You turned to check the line and back to your friends.

“I guess I should go before I miss my flight,” you pointed a thumb at the throng of people.

“We’ll see you Sunday,” Eddie nodded and waved you off, looking at you with a gaze you didn’t recognize. Holly watched him as he watched you, a knowing grin finding its way onto her face.

“You loooove her,” she teased after you disappeared into the line, poking at his side and Eddie guffawed. Laugh forced as his cheeks blossomed pink.

“Like a friend,” he corrected.

“Friends don’t look at each other with hearts in their eyes, you look like one of those Looney Tunes characters. Heart practically hammering out of your chest,” she was on a roll and Eddie began to walk away.

“Do you want to walk home?” He asked, attention still trained on the exit and she immediately shut up. The click of her heels light against the linoleum floors as they left the airport.

You walked off the escalator, eyes trained on the sunny streets of Los Angeles. Smile wide and eyes full of excitement. You couldn’t believe that you were here, that this was real, and that you finally made it out of the Midwest even if just for one day. There was a line of drivers situated by the exit doors, signs with last names printed on them of their lucky passengers being driven around LA. You noticed a limo behind the line of them. Black and sleek. What a dream, you thought as you continued to walk towards the front door. You stopped in your tracks, your brain finally catching up with what you had seen. You turned back around and noticed your name on one of those signs. You looked up to the burly man who held the paper and pointed to yourself.

“That’s me!” Your voice was an excited squeal.

“Right this way, miss,” and he moved to the side, hand pointed to the stretch limousine parked along the curb, the same one you had been gawking at.

“Holy cannoli,” you muttered, following him in a stupor.

“Can I take your bags?” He asked you, pointing to the only one you had with you.

“Oh you don’t have to,” you waved him off and he chuckled.

“I insist,” and he moved to grab your belongings. Freeing you of carrying the heavy weight on your shoulder. The sun’s rays were warm against your skin, air mild and cool against your cheeks. The airport was busy, cars and shuttle buses scurrying by like a little city within a much larger one. The sounds of it all were nearly overwhelming. The driver opened your door and showed you in.

“What was your name?” You asked, not noticing a name tag anywhere on his blazer.

“Anthony,” he smiled politely.

“Thanks, Anthony,” you grinned and slid into the car. The dark roof was dotted with white lights to give the illusion of the night sky, black leather seats curved on your right with a small bar situated on your left. Fully stocked with snacks and champagne, a small TV with a built-in DVD player beside it.

“This is amazing,” you beamed and looked at Anthony through the opening between the front cab and the rest of the limo. He chuckled at your enthusiasm.

“Your first time in a limo?” He asked even though it was very apparent. Still, you nodded in response.

“And LA, I’ve never been out of Indiana before,” you mentioned.

“Well, welcome to Hollywood,” he greeted. “Looks like we’re going to Noell’s. Fancy place, you have a big event tonight?” Your heart fluttered at the reminder.

“A date,” you started, “with Steve Harrington,” you squealed and it was the first time you’d said it out loud. The driver whistled at the news, eyebrows perked high on his forehead.

“You be careful with them actor types,” he suggested and you nodded wondering exactly what he meant. 

The rest of the ride was spent in silence as he drove through the congested streets and you gawked at the sights. It was the first time you’d seen the ocean and you watched fascinated as the deep blue glimmered with the reflection of the sun. Dogs wore costumes, kids were dressed to the nines, and everyone had a cell phone. It was the talk of the town when the first shipment arrived in Hawkins but it seemed the norm here, like no one batted an eye at the arrival, and it’d be more of an oddity that you didn’t have one. The car slowed to a stop, idling in front of a boutique with beautiful gowns displayed in the front window.

“I’ll be waiting out here until you’re done,” Anthony stated, looking at you through the rearview as you looked at the shop and the busy sidewalks filled with people. You slid out of the car, the bright sky greeting you again. You’d imagined the air would smell like the ocean or a floral breeze, but the reality of it was far from pleasant. The smell of tobacco and stale urine filled your nose as you walked the short distance and through the front door of the shop.

“Hi there, welcome to Noell’s! I’m Amy. What are we looking for today?” The associate was petite, her small frame barely seen above the front counter she stood behind. She had a heart-shaped face, vibrant green eyes, and brunette hair down to her shoulders.

“I have a date tonight and just needed to get something to wear,” you shrugged and played absently with your hair, suddenly shy.

“Are you (Y/N)?”

“Uh yes, that’s me?” You weren’t sure how she knew your name.

“They told me the lucky girl would be stopping by today. We already pulled a few choices for you,” she waved you on and walked toward the back, assuming you would follow. Your steps were quiet behind the clack of her heels against the hardwood floors. The store was massive, a rainbow of tulle and sequins that left you gawking as you followed her through rows of dresses organized by color. Amy stopped in front of a dressing room, a large rack of dresses situated next to it with what appeared to be a dress in each color.

“We pulled these for you, but feel free to look around. You can have anything you’d like,” your eyebrows shot up as you watched her walk away and retreat to the front desk. You stood in front of the dresses and ran your hands along the fabrics, the lace of the bodices, and the intricate details of each. You wanted something that would make Steve’s jaw drop and leave him at a loss for words. Be the hot, mysterious date you told Eddie you would be. You giggled to yourself in the silence, giddy with the prospect of shocking the Steve Harrington. You pushed through the dresses they provided, but none of them were quite you. You looked outside the dressing room to the sea of dresses to choose from and began wandering the aisles, admiring the purple and blue fabrics, until your eyes stumbled upon a dress that you knew was the one. You pulled it off the rack and admired the details. It was a long deep red dress that hung from one shoulder with a black mesh overlay and a high slit.

“Would you like to try that on?” Amy was walking towards you, brunette curls bouncing as she did.

“Uh, yeah,” you nodded and handed her the dress. She walked you back to the dressing room, placing the dress on one of the hooks inside the small space.

“Just let me know if you need anything else,” she stated as she sauntered away. You stared at the dress, a little intimidated by the high slit that would reveal your upper thigh. You shook your head and swallowed your fears away as you pulled off your jeans and your shirt. The dress was smooth against your skin as you pulled it on and closed the zipper. The silk and mesh hung over your curves and fit like a glove, accentuating the fat of your ass and the size of your boobs. It was more daring than anything you had ever worn, but you felt beautiful, and this was how you wanted Steve to see you.

“How’s that one working for you?” Amy asked through the door and you unlocked it to gauge her reaction. Her green eyes widened and she smiled up at you.

“That dress was made for you,” she commented and it didn’t sound like a typical sales associate spiel.

“I’ll take it,” you affirmed as the nerves unfurled and in their place butterflies took flight.

You sat on the edge of your hotel bed, a large king-size mattress situated in the middle of the suite you were provided. The room was dipped in luxury, with a crystal chandelier hanging from the high ceilings, and a plasma TV placed on an intricate entertainment stand surrounded by cream-colored couches. You felt like Cinderella, like you were walking in a dream, and at any moment you’d wake back up in the four walls of the small trailer you’d always lived in. The butterflies were in your chest now threatening to strangle the little air you could get to your lungs as you took deep breaths and ran sweaty palms against the fabric of your dress. You’d have thrown yourself into the soft fabric of the blankets to hide if you weren’t worried about ruining the makeup you’d spent so long on. Your lips were a deep red that accentuated your pout, eyes framed by a dramatic smoky eye that made the color of them all that more intense. There was a knock at your door that broke through your thoughts and you craned your head towards the noise, eyes glued to the wood frame. Unable to will your feet to move. Another knock came, more urgent, a little less patient, and finally your feet moved. You rushed to the door, pulling it open a little klutzy and almost catching your dress on the handle. You looked down to pull it away, not even noticing the hazel eyes roaming over your frame.

“Wow,” Steve breathed, shocked by your appearance. How stunning you were. You looked at him, a small smile forming on your lips as the butterflies moved into your throat and cut your vocal cords from working. You were full-on malfunctioning.

“Hi, I’m Steve,” he extended his hand towards you and you nodded, nervous giggles erupting from your lips as you slipped your hand into his warm grasp.

“You look amazing,” he motioned to your dress as he pulled his hand from yours. Your cheeks turned a shade darker at the compliment, your smile widening.

“Y-you do too,” you stammered, having trouble not being star-struck. Steve was even more handsome in person. His hazel eyes were framed by the longest lashes you’d seen, freckles dotting his cheekbones and the line of his jaw. His sun-kissed skin was draped in a white dinner coat, a black button-up underneath only buttoned to the middle of his chest revealing a smidge of hair. You swallowed hard at the sight resisting the urge to run over fingers over the muscled flesh. Not wanting to look like one of those stalker weirdos. Steve tilted his head to the hallway, thumb pointing behind him and you finally noticed the security guards who were standing nearby.

“Should we head to dinner?”

“Yeah, sounds good,” you breathed. The words were coming easier now as the two of you walked down the hall and to the back entrance of the hotel.

“I should warn you,” he started and began digging in his jacket pockets pulling out a pair of sunglasses and handing them to you. You looked at them curiously, unfolding them and looking up at him for an explanation.

“It can get a little bright, a little intimidating.” He slid a pair of his own over the line of his nose, eyes hidden behind the dark lenses. You didn’t know what he meant but you slid them on as you descended the stairs into the private parking garage. At the bottom of the steps you were met by a swarm of photographers, the bulbs of their cameras flashing and nearly blinding as you tried to maneuver around them. Steve grabbed your hand, pulling you through the mass of paparazzi and towards the waiting limousine. You slid against the leather seat, breath coming out in anxious spurts as he closed the door behind him. Still, the photographers continued, cameras flashing and pressed against the windows for a secret shot.

“Is it always like that?” You asked, listening to their muffled voices and watching as they swarmed the car. Steve removed his sunglasses, playing with the temples but not meeting your gaze.

“Yeah, it is. The sunglasses don’t really block the lights out but at least you can hide behind them you know?” And you understood, a little hedge of protection in a flood of people wanting to intrude.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized sincerely, just now realizing how the photographers got those candid shots of Steve you always gushed over.

“Don’t be,” he smirked and looked at you, “'s what I signed up for right?” And you knew that was the common consensus, celebrities took center stage so they wanted the nonstop attention right?

“Seems pretty intrusive is all,” you shrugged and looked at your fingers resting in your lap. Steve watched you, scanning the length of your legs and the way the material hugged your curves once again.

“Let’s just have fun tonight,” he suggested, not wanting to dwell on the downside of celebrity.

“Let’s,” you agreed with a broader smile.

The restaurant was fancier than any of the ones Hawkins had to offer. The ceiling boasted an intricate pattern of hexagons and copper chandeliers, the lights set dim to create an ambiance. On one side of the restaurant, there was a glass case of wine bottles stacked from floor to ceiling, and in front of the case was a large granite bar with bar stools scattered around it. The other wall was floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the city, the lights of the skyscrapers like constellations. You were shown to your table by the maître d’, a private table in a room away from prying eyes. The two of you settled across from each other, a rolling table brought over with a chilled bottle of champagne and a flute filled for each of you.

“Compliments of the house,” the waiter stated and Steve smiled politely as he looked at you scan the menu with a creased brow.

“I’ll be back in just a moment to get your orders,” the man stated and walked back through the doors of the private dining area. You stared at a page of the menu, French words you didn’t understand, or entrees you’d never tasted. It was…a lot, and you felt like you were over your head.

“Not sure what to get?” He asked and you shook your head before placing your menu on the table to look at him.

“You know what I haven’t had in a while?”

“What is that?” You rested your chin into your palm as you waited for him to elaborate.

“A good burger.” Your eyebrows shot up in surprise at his cheeky grin.

“You mean to tell me,” you opened the menu, “that foie gras isn’t your cup of tea?” You looked at him over your lashes as he laughed and took a sip of champagne.

“Not really into eating liver.”

“That’s what that is?” You couldn’t hide the horror of his revelation and his chuckle grew louder.

“Want to get out of here? Get something that isn’t a filter?” You nodded your head, eyes big and full of alarm. Steve stood first extending his hand toward you to usher you out of the dining space and into the main restaurant. Just as he opened the door the waiter returned.

“Will you not be dining with us today?” He asked, concerned.

“Not feeling it tonight, but thank you for your hospitality,” Steve responded and placed folded-up bills into the guy’s shirt pocket before extending his arm for you to take. Anthony was waiting for you where you left him, a little surprised by your sudden reappearance.

“That was a fast dinner,” he commented, looking at you through his rearview to make sure nothing went awry.

“Fine dining just isn’t for me,” you assured and he nodded with a knowing grin.

“Where to?”

“Know a good burger joint?” Steve asked him as he poured the two of you more champagne from the bar.

“There’s the Seaside Kitchen right near Venice Beach,” Anthony offered with a shrug of his shoulder.

“Oh, the beach, I've never been!" You clapped excitedly.

“Let’s go there,” Steve smiled and watched your giddy excitement the entire drive.

The air smelled of salt, and the noise of the waves covered the sound of the lingering seagulls overhead. You took in your surroundings, noticing that there weren't many tourists roaming the sands with the sun long set. You spotted a bonfire in the distance, a small group crowded around it. The beach was dark and only illuminated by the nearby lampposts that glimmered a bright white. It was serene, the first quiet moment since you stepped off the plane. You and Steve wadded through the sand barefoot, feet sinking into the cold as you walked closer to the water.

“Sorry it’s not much of a view since the sun isn’t up,” Steve remarked setting a blanket he got from the limo down onto the sand as you held a box full of burgers, fries, and two cokes. Your stomach was grumbling, hunger roaring and making you queasy. You looked around once more and smiled to yourself before turning back to Steve.

“It’s perfect, I never thought I’d get to see it,” you told him and sat with your legs stretched in front of you, feet buried into the sand.

“You and your family never vacationed anywhere when you were young?” You shook your head as you chewed the bite of burger you took, swallowing it down to explain.

“My mom and dad passed when I was young so my grandma took me in. Not much you can get on social security let alone beach vacations,” you laughed and sipped on your coke. You were used to explaining and answering any child or adult when they questioned why your parents weren't at a school function or recital. Why your grandma was the only one in attendance. The sting of their deaths was now a dull wound, one that didn't make you choke back tears or want to hide behind closed doors like before.

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered and you shooed his apology.

“Don’t be sorry, I didn’t have a lot but my grandma loved me and this is extra special since I’m experiencing it with you,” you took another bite and looked off into the waves. Dark blue, almost black, pushing against the white of the sand. Steve looked at you and traced the line of your cheekbones to your jaw with his gaze. A little struck. Entranced by how beautiful you were.

“Hawkins any different from when I lived there?” You looked up thoughtfully and thought of what was different.

“Well the grocery store is open until ten now but other than that I’d say it’s much the same since you left,” you giggled. Steve chewed on some fries and thought of his hometown. Thought of Hawkins High and his time as King Steve, the drives to Lover’s Lake, the nights spent at house parties or drinking by the golf course at the country club until the sun came up.

“You ever miss it?” You questioned, taking another bite as you waited for his response. He swallowed his food and took a sip of soda.

“Believe it or not sometimes this all gets old,” he waved around the scenery. “Sometimes I just miss being home in my own bubble, hanging out with friends without prying eyes and just the lack of sound. It’s so loud here.”

“It really is! I don’t know how anyone sleeps,” you chuckled around your food, holding your hand in front of your mouth so he didn’t catch sight of your chewed food.

“I didn’t sleep for the first few weeks until I adjusted to the noise, now I don’t know how I’ll sleep if I ever leave,” he shook his head and the two of you continued to eat in comfortable silence.

“What about you? Do you ever wish you could leave?”

“Sometimes, but I don’t think I’d be away for long. There’s nothing like feeling at home somewhere and that’s what I have,” you thought for a moment, “but I would get something better than what I have if I could.”

“Something better?”

“I live in the trailer my grandma left me when she passed a few years ago, and it’s cozy but I’ve never had anything that’s mine. Everything has been passed down or thrifted. Always belonged to someone else first.”

“Ever thought of your ideal place?” You dabbed the napkin against your mouth and wiped your hands, squeezing the napkin as you gave a thoughtful nod.

“Pretty sure I’ve thought of it every day since I was twelve,” you sighed as you thought of those daydreams, “My parents used to have a spread of land, acres that seemed never-ending. I used to play all day and get lost in the trees. I miss that. If I ever got my own land I would fill it up with animals and have my own garden. Maybe a library if I was lucky,” you pushed your lips together as the silence settled over you, your dreams on display for him to see.

“Like little goats and pigs?” He shared in the picture you painted, adding his own details.

“Cows too. Heard there’s nothing like snuggling one,” he choked on the soda he drank, laughing at the image of a cow lying on top of him.

“I don’t know about the snuggling,” he dismissed the idea.

“Ugh, but the little babies? Especially the furry ones? How could you not!” He stared at you with a wide smirk, eyes glimmering at your enthusiasm. A wave of embarrassment flooded through you as to how you might sound to him. The big Hollywood star who had already experienced so much, things bigger than a farm with baby cows and goats. More than you could dare to dream. You rubbed awkwardly at your hair suddenly self-conscious.

“Sorry, I must sound so small town,” you apologized and he shook his head at you reaching for your wrist so that you’d look at him. You looked where you were connected, his warm skin against yours, electricity wherever his fingers grasped.

“Don’t do that,” he chided softly, “it’s refreshing. Like I said, this gets old. I have the same industry conversations every night droning on about the next project or award season. Even in interviews I’m asked the same questions but no one really cares about the answers anymore,” he laughed as he cut his ranting off.

“Sorry about that,” he muttered, flashing an awkward smile in your direction. You placed your hand over his, rubbing your thumb against his knuckles.

“What did we say about sorry?” You chided and he nodded with a slight roll of his eyes.

“Plus, I care about the answers,” you added nonchalantly. He beamed, taking your hand as he stood and pulled you to your feet. 

“Let’s dip our toes in,” he suggested and began peeling off his shoes. You kicked off your heels leaving them beside the blanket as the two of walked near the shore. The sound of the waves grew louder as you approached, the sand cold and wet but easier to walk through. You waited until the water drew closer and dipped your toe in squealing with the temperature.

“Holy shit, it’s freezing,” you turned to him but he was already watching you enthralled by your childlike wonder.

“You can’t just dip a toe in, got to go in feet first so you can’t second guess it,” he suggested but you were nervous. Afraid of the shock of the water and Steve noticed.

“Here, take my hand,” you looked at his outstretched arm, palm face up in an offering. A life raft before you plunged deeper and you took it, twining your fingers with his as you took the leap. Jumping feet first into the cold waves, squealing only slightly as they crashed over your shins and dampened the bottom of your dress. You jumped and Steve held you closer, your back to his warm chest as your toes sank into the ocean floor gradually. You could feel his heart hammering against you, felt the way his eyes were trained on you and you turned. His face was illuminated by the moon, bronze skin a little less vibrant in the evening glow. Eyes trained on your lips, face inching towards yours. Your eyelashes fluttered as you moved closer to him, your noses brushing, and his lips were a whisper against yours. He pressed fully into your pout, his lips soft and warm against yours as they moved gently. A small gasp escaped as he learned the shape of your lips, the way you liked to be kissed. Sweet and sensual. You tangled your fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck, chest pressed into his and his warm palms traced the line of your waist until they rested just above your ass. Steve brought your bottom lip into his mouth sucking gently and releasing it with a small pop. You hummed against his mouth, kissing him deeper and swiping his bottom lip asking for entrance. He opened for you, tongue darting against yours as he kneaded the dough of your ass. The kiss turned needy, a different kind of hunger settling into your gut but you pulled away looking into Steve’s wide gaze.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asked, hands moving back up to the middle of your back. You rubbed your nose against his fondly and shook your head.

“No, no. I just,” you sighed. You didn’t want this to be a one-time thing, a speedy hookup on the beach. You wanted more and you knew you had no right to it.

“It’s getting late, and I just thought I should head back to the hotel. Get some rest. Think your agent has me on the first flight out,” you grinned at him apprehensively and worried he’d be mad.

“Sounds like the bastard,” he shook his head and nodded towards the car.

“C'mon I’ll make sure you get back,” you cleaned up your makeshift picnic and settled into the back of the limo, sitting a little closer to Steve than when the night first started. His hand settled on the skin of your exposed thigh. Rubbing circles, creating goosebumps.

Anthony pulled into the private garage and it was a relief when you saw no sight of paparazzi around you. Steve turned his attention to you after scanning the lot, hazel gaze fixed on yours.

“I had a really fun time tonight, thank you,” and he meant it, sincerity written on his face. You smiled at him, less shy than before, and placed a chaste kiss on his pinked lips.

“Thank you,” you emphasized and turned to open the door. Steve squeezed your hand one last time and watched you walk back up the stairs the two of you had descended at the beginning of the night. He was wrapped in his thoughts and completely struck by you.

-

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More Ossan's Love Returns details

You thought I was done with this show after subbing it??? No! This is a continuation to my earlier post.

The game and tv controllers aren't always in the same place, meaning someone actually uses them.

I love all the random appearances of Kikunosuke's riceballs haha. The Tall size really is tall!

I think this is Kikunosuke's room. He doesn't have much decor, only gym equipment. The framed motto on the wall says 万里一空 banri ikkuu ('ten thousand ri (old japanese unit) one sky'), work towards your goal no matter how long it takes. It was originally coined by the legendary swordsman Miyamoto Musashi. It suits Kikunosuke well since he's kept pining for over a decade!

Maki actually keeps studying Chinese throughout the season even though it doesn't come up in conversation. The red book he carries around is his Chinese textbook.

I just realised this reference may not have been clear to everyone, so I'm including it here. In episode five after the ridiculous gay on gay violence Kurosawa takes a kabuki mie pose with his fan as the curtain closes on the antics. The battle is kind of like crazy kabuki play foreshadowed by the sound of shishiodoshi throughout the episode.

Look on the left! They put up their wedding photos!!

I just love this shot.

Chief's get well soon gifts from when he was in the hospital and people thought he was dying. Teppei gave him his cd 完敗 (kanpai, total defeat, pun on 乾杯 kanpai as in cheers). The book is from Maika judging by the title (sexy neighbour) lol. Haruta & Maki went with a more conservative wrapped gift. I don't know who brought the flowers (I think they're kasumisou/gypsophila), but white flowers are generally not recommend for hospital visits because they're associated with buddhist offerings, which I think is part of the joke. In fact, this whole setup looks like an altar of offerings with the flowers and the apples and the riceballs.

Their bowls go together with their matching couple loungewear!!

Izumi started buying a new kind of bread after making peace with Akito's death and gave it to Kikunosuke, what if I cry!! I wonder if he started buying strawberry jam bread for Akito and himself after that strawberry crepe confession episode.

Maki is reading a book in the final spin-off. It's actually the same book he was reading in season one in the episode where he got sick. It's not a real book, but the title is Tokunaga, inu ni nazukeru tte yo ('Tokunaga said he's gonna name the dog', a pun on the book/movie Kirishima, bukatsu yameru tte yo 'Kirishima said he's gonna quit the school club'). Tokunaga is the name of the character Hayashi Kento played on the Netflix series Hanabi. There's a chihuahua on the cover as a nod to Maki being compared to a chihuahua on the show multiple times.