#I will delete this tomorrow sorry if anyone had to see this

[inkerii]

I think my anxiety is worse off than usual. Its 1am and I've been ranting at my ceiling about frigging httyd 3 of all things - a movie that came out years ago and that I have been happily ignoring for ages after making my points when it was released.

idk. I think its the general "not feeling good" thing and lack of energy and motivation to do even stuff I like. meh. hopefully tomorrow will be better.

[2kmps]

bakugō is bored on his day off and decides to bring lunch to you.

notes; 0.4k, aged up! + bf!bakugō

a soft chime coaxed him into reaching for the phone nestled in the thigh pocket on his joggers, thumbprint unlocking a chat message screen that he scrolled to the end of. there were a few new texts waiting for him, the only one he cared about right now read, simply:

"wait there."

so he did. he had been for about twenty minutes now. his skin stuck to the glass wall he slouched against, eyes never rising above the low brim of the baseball cap flattening his unruly spikes to his scalp. besides a disposable black face mask, he didn't have anything else to hide his identity, not that he was particularly pressed if someone were to figure it out.

it was the hurried gait of soles striking the polished stone floors that lured his gaze, finally. the phone returned to his pocket, and the neatly knotted lunchboxes lifted from his side like a crane.

"katsuki, at least try to care if people know it's you." there was no real point in you admonishing him, especially when he wasn't going to take your words to heart. "what's up? I didn't expect to see you today."

"dyin' of boredom on my day off. I already ran all my errands," he said, putting the bentos right in your face because you didn't notice the first time. "figured we'd have lunch together. you said you didn't take your break yet, right?"

you took a good look at the containers wrapped in pretty cloth, bows on top almost identical. when katsuki bakugou texts you to hustle downstairs to the front desk of your workplace, the last thing you expected it to be about was lunch.

"sorry, katsuki, I packed myself lunch." you said.

his broad shoulders lifted. "save it for tomorrow. I spent two hours cooking that thing you sent me a link to. we're gonna eat it."

you felt the beginnings of tears burning behind your eyes, lips puffing as smacked a hand against your chest. "katsukiiii, you cooked and made those bentos so we could eat them together? you're such a good boyfriend!"

hearing praise in your duclet tones made his chest swell, stomach twist itself around, and his ears glow red. "like- like it's fuckin' hard. anyone who gives a shit for ten seconds could do this."

that's right, tell me more was more aligned with how he actually felt about.

"c'mon," he rumbled, taking your hand in a tight grip as he lead you outside. "you owe me so many kisses after everything that recipe put me through."

you laughed airily, "I'll give you as many kisses later as you want."

divider; @/anlian-aishang

reposted from my deleted blog; cardeneiv

[xinamie]

🥟 — dumplings & dimples.

pairing: kung lao x gn! reader

summary: owning a food cart has its fun days, especially when that cute customer comes by. ♡

tags: flirting, fluff

The dumpling dealer — that's what younger customers called you. Apparently, they even spread that title amongst their peers which is why you had swarms of them waiting in line almost every other day. Xiao long bao, or soup dumplings, were the most popular! There was no secret recipe or ingredient though, you just made them with time, patience, and lots of care.

Someone seemed to disagree, however, wanting to know all your secrets. You could see the wide brim of his hat at the end of the line, most likely praying to that one benevolent lord he talked about. There was nothing to worry for as you always kept his favorite dumplings in stock. It was tradition at this point.

When he finally reached you, a grin stretched across his face as he ducked his head under the cover of your cart. His eyes immediately darted across all the steamer baskets before they settled on you, the corners crinkling in glee.

"Well, if it isn't my baobei..." He would joke every single time, the term of endearment being a play on words for the items on your menu. And without fail, he would receive an eye roll followed by that smile he grew to adore so very much.

No other words were necessary as you packed up his usual order, but of course it wasn't quiet for long.

"Don't forget the extra ch—"

"Chili oil on the side, yes, I know."

His lips curled into a satisfied expression as you poured the delicious spice into a little bag. As you twisted the plastic to secure the juice, Kung Lao couldn't help but speak up again. One of his arms leaned onto your cart, though he kept a respectable distance while you worked.

"Ready to spill your secret? Madam Bo said you told her, so why not me?"

There really was nothing special about your cooking, but the man could be pretty adamant at times. For him to keep coming to this same stall, there had to be a reason why and you just assumed it was for recipe leeching. At least, that's what he made it seem on most visits. Handing him his prepared meal, you shot him a look that he was familiar with.

"Fine, how about a date then?"

That was— certainly new. He held the bags with one hand while the other placed more than enough funds to cover his order into your money jar. A steaming hot bao was already in his mouth as he raised a brow, waiting for your answer.

"You're joking, right?"

A muffled noise escaped him, vaguely hearing a nuh uh in the middle of his snack. He then swallowed the dumpling properly, leaning forward to tap the tip of his finger against the visor you wore for food safety. A huff escaped you as you leaned back, trying to understand his motives here. All you received was a chuckle, the low tone rumbling from his chest and feeling as if it entered yours.

"Your time wouldn't be wasted, you know. Give me a chance." His words were buffed by his own secret weapon, those damned dimples, on full display just for you. It was one of his features that had always attracted you and by the look on his smug face, he knew it too.

A much more boisterous laugh came out of the man as he swiveled around, waving a dumpling in the air.

"The main fountains, tomorrow evening. Say... seven? See you then!"

He left without confirmation, a heavy sigh parting your lips as you watched his back. There wasn't much time to think about it as more customers demanded your attention.

If anyone asked, it was all the steam and pan frying that got you all heated!

☆

a/n: omfg i thought tumblr deleted my draft and i almost cried but hiii first fic! sorry if it's lame jfjeirkekdb

[lionesses-lover]

Falling for a Mystery - A. Russo

The one where you don’t know who she is but when you find out it’s even better than you imagined.

Word count: 3.2k

Love had never come easily to you. After a string of bad relationships in your late teenage years that didn’t last very long you decided to stop looking for love, and wait for it to come to you. But it’s been 3 years since that day, and you’re now 24 with no love interests.

So, when Millie Turner ambushed you one afternoon in your office, showing you a new dating app she’d discovered, you stupidly let her set up a profile for you. Being the media manager of Manchester United Women’s team meant that you had made some wonderful friends, but sometimes they had some not-so-wonderful ideas. This was one of them.

———

It had been a few weeks since Millie had set up a profile for you and you hadn’t had much attention. You’d allowed yourself to dream of finding your soulmate for precisely 3 days, before realising that you weren’t going to find anyone on this ridiculous app and ignoring it until now. You decided to tell Millie you were going to delete it tomorrow.

However, just as you were about to go to bed, you got a notification.

Unknown has messaged you.

That was another stupid thing about this app. It was completely anonymous. So you were expected to talk to a complete stranger and see if you had a ‘connection’ as Millie had described it. Despite this idiotic method of romance, you found yourself clicking on the notification, eager to see who had messaged you.

Message from: Unknown

hey how’s your day going?

You smiled to yourself before replying quickly. Sometimes life gives you small signs and you were a big believer in the universe having a plan for you, so you decided to take this message as a sign not to delete the app. You let yourself get swept into conversation with the stranger on your phone.

The conversation was nice and the girl seemed very sweet. The two of you chatted about your hobbies and soon discovered that you were both football crazy, living in Manchester, and had both been single for a while. She was wonderful.

After chatting for about 30 minutes you realised you needed to go to sleep or you would risk being late to work the next day. Saying goodnight to your mystery girl, you shut your phone off and went to sleep, smiling softly to yourself.

———

A few days later you walked into the Manchester United training building with a new skip in your step. You were feeling more confident in yourself and were looking forward to another day in your dream job. You were feeling wonderful until you turned the corner, then you suddenly found yourself crashing into a body and falling over onto the floor.

“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going,” the person said.

You looked up, before chuckling to yourself. It was Alessia Russo, the clumsiest person alive. Of course she was responsible for knocking you over.

“It’s fine Alessia, don’t worry about it,” you smiled as she helped you stand up, making sure you didn’t have any bruises or marks on you.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated, despite having just been told it was fine, “I shouldn’t have been distracted.”

“I’m really okay, it’s not your fault for being distracted, you have a big game tomorrow.”

“Yeah… the game,” she stuttered, looking into your kind eyes.

“Well,” you said awkwardly, breaking the intense eye contact you were sharing with the blonde, “I should probably go and start work but I’ll see you out on the training pitch.”

“Yeah, see you later y/n,” she said, smiling at you.

 As you walked away you couldn’t stop yourself from turning around to watch her. You had always admired the blonde. Her beautiful hair and her perfect eyes had always been your weakness, especially when you first started working at the club. 

However, not long after you admitted to yourself that you might have a crush on her, you overheard Millie and Ella chatting to her about a date she had been on earlier that week. So, your crush stayed only as a crush.

———

Later that day, you were sitting in your office editing some photos of today’s training session when your phone lit up with another notification from your mystery girl.

Message from: Unknown

what are you doing this tomorrow?

“Oh my god,” you whispered to yourself. What did this mean? Was she trying to ask you out? Or was she just being friendly and carrying on the conversation? But, before you could continue to overthink and eventually reply, you were interrupted.

“What’s got you smiling like that?” 

You jumped slightly, before looking up and seeing Millie grinning at you, before lunging for your phone, desperately trying to see the cause of your smile.

“Nothing,” you insisted, trying to stop her from grabbing your phone. However, you were unsuccessful. Before you knew it your hands were empty and you were staring in horror as Millie scrolled through your messages with the mystery girl, the smirk on her face getting wider every second.

“I knew you’d like this app,” she finally said, still smirking at you, silently congratulating herself for setting you up on it, “I’m not going to lie I thought you were head over heels for Lessi, but apparently someone else has stolen your heart.”

“Alessia has a girlfriend, I only liked her for a few weeks,” you answered, knowing there was no point in attempting to deny Millie’s suspicions. You hadn’t been subtle when it came to watching Alessia at training, taking extra care of the photos and videos with her in.

“What? Less doesn’t have a girlfriend, what are you talking about?” replying Millie, suddenly looking very confused.

“I always hear you guys talking about the dates she’s been on,” you answered, “I just assumed that meant she was seeing someone.”

“Alessia goes on dates every once in a while but she hasn’t seriously dated anyone since her ex back in college,” explained Millie, “she’s a hopeless romantic like you so she doesn’t get to the second date stage often because the other girl decides she’s too clingy. But she’s really just eager to make sure this person is the right one for her.”

“Oh,” you replied quietly, unsure of how to react to this news. Alessia was single, and a hopeless romantic, just like you.

“What are you going to reply to this girl?” Millie suddenly asked, her eyes having returned back to your phone screen.

“Um I’m not sure, I’m busy tomorrow with the pre-match media from 2 till 4 for the game tomorrow, and then obviously I’m going to stay and watch it so I’m not free until about 6:30,” you answered, “but I’m not doing post-match media so maybe I’d be able to meet her for dinner. But I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” 

“Well what if something goes wrong? It’s been 3 years since I was in a relationship, I’m not sure I remember what to do,” you said nervously.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try,” Millie responded softly, “she seems lovely, you shouldn’t close yourself off to love.”

Taking a deep sign, you thought about it. On the one hand, you head was currently listing all of the possible disasters that could occur, such as you arriving there and the mystery girl was actually a gross old man in his 70s. But on the other hand your heart was doing flips at the ides of finally meeting the mystery girl who had you obsessed with her without ever meeting her or hearing her voice.

Finally you said suddenly getting a rush of confidence, “alright, I’ll reply to her.”

And you did.

Message to: Unknown

I’m at work until about 6:30, fancy getting dinner at about 7:30?

You soon got a reply from your mystery girl, agreeing with the plan and suggesting a restaurant - it was a new Italian place that had just opened, coincidentally it was only a 10 minute drive away from the stadium.

Smiling to yourself, you quickly showed Millie the response before kicking her out off your office so she couldn’t rapidly question you about how you were going to dress or what you were going to say.

———

The next day all you were thinking about was your mystery girl. You woke up, got ready for work and then started to pack your outfit for later, putting it in your bag so you could change after the match before going to the restaurant. Then, your mind started wondering. You imagined what she was like, you daydreamed about what she looked like. You hoped she liked you.

You managed to get through your pre-match media duties very quickly, sharing a few laughs with Ella Toone in an interview, and before you knew it the match was kicking off. It was quite even for most of the first half, as Aston Villa were a strong team, but soon enough the one and only Alessia Russo had been passed a lovely ball from Ona and was able to head it into the back of the net.

The crowd went wild. 

She was a hugely popular player and seeing her score made your heart leap with excitement, especially because you got to watch her in every training session so you knew how hard she worked and how much she deserved this important goal.

As the game continued you found it hard to stop yourself from looking at your watch. It was almost am hour and a half until you were meeting your mystery girl. There were only 10 minutes until full time and Manchester United were 3-0 up, with Leah Galton and Vilde Bøe Risa also scoring.

However, just as you thought the game was ending, you found yourself on the edge of you seat, before rising quickly to cheer at the top of your lungs. She had done it again. Ella had spotted Alessia’s run and quickly passed to her, leaving Alessia a perfect shot at goal, which she was never going to miss. 4-0 to United, 2 goals for the superstar striker.

It was the perfect end to the match, and you hoped the day would only continue to get better, as you quickly headed to your office in the stadium after instructing the media team who to interview for a post match exclusive, making sure they knew to grab Alessia for a chat.

You quickly got changed and freshened up your hair and makeup before checking the time. The match had finished slightly later than expected due to 8 minutes of added time at the end of the first half and a further 5 minutes at the end of the second half, so it was currently 7:09pm, meaning you had 20 minutes to find your car and drive to the restaurant. You should be fine, you just prayed that the post match traffic would be kind to you as you desperately hoped to make a good first impression on your mystery girl.

———

Luck appeared to be on your side, because the traffic around the stadium was miraculously easy and you managed to find a parking space opposite the restaurant, so you were standing outside the entrance waiting for your mystery girl at 7:28pm. The pair of you had agreed to meet outside the restaurant where she had made a reservation, as it appeared she wasn’t keen on sharing her identity and giving you the name of the reservation just yet.

Soon enough, the time on your watch was 7:30 and you were feeling more and more apprehensive. You looked around for a sign, you weren’t sure who you were looking for but you looked anyway.

Then it was 7:37. You were beginning to feel a bit embarrassed. Maybe she decided not to come. But you soon distracted yourself, assuming she was just running late, and you started to review the post-match interviews you had been sent by your colleagues on the media team.

7:38

7:39

7:40

7:41

7:42

You felt stupid now. What if she saw you and walked away? What if she decided she didn’t want to meet you? Were you not good enough for love? 

You quickly opened the dating app on your phone to check if your mystery girl had messaged you to explain her lateness or to cancel on you. But before you could check, you were interrupted by a voice.

“y/n?”

You looked up and were met with the most beautiful pair of blue eyes ever.

“Alessia? What are you doing here?”

“I’m meeting someone, I’m actually 12 minutes late, have you seen a girl waiting outside here?” she said hurriedly, blissfully unaware of the panic that had overtaken your face as you slowly began to piece together what was happening.

Alessia.

She was the mystery girl.

“Alessia,” you slowly asked, unsure of how to approach this, “did you meet this girl on an anonymous dating site?”

“Yes,” she said slowly, running a hand nervously through her freshly washed hair, “how do you know that?”

“Um,” you replied, taking a deep breath before confessing what you had figured out seconds ago, “I’m the girl, I think, unless we both met someone on an anonymous dating site and agreed to meet here at 7:30.”

 “Oh, wow,” she said, still processing this new information about her mystery girl, “I wasn’t expecting this at all.”

“Look, it’s fine, I’ll go and we can just forget this happened,” you suggested, ignoring the feeling of your heart slowly breaking at the thought of the girl you had been falling for through a phone not returning those feelings.

“No!” she said suddenly, not wanting you to leave, “I’ve already made the reservation, why don’t we just have dinner and talk about all of this?”

“Okay,” you said hesitantly, not wanting her to feel forced into this even though your heart was doing flips at the idea of having dinner with the blonde, your old feelings for her rushing back to you , “if you’re sure that your alright with all of this.”

“Of course y/n,” she replied, smiling at you, obviously over her initial shock at discovering who you were, “it’s the least I could do for turning up here late, I was busy with post match interviews.”

“It’s fine, I asked the team to get those interviews so it’s really my fault,” you chuckled lightly before following the breathtaking girl into the restaurant, nervous but excited about what was to come.

———

You and Alessia had been enjoying some light conversation whilst snacking on some delicious bread for the past 20 minutes, but it seemed that your main meal of pasta seemed to also be brought with a change in conversation.

“So,” she said, “what were you doing on a dating app then?”

You took a deep breath, surprised at the bold question, before responding, “Well, when you’re single for a long time then your friends always want to set you up. Millie made me a profile. What about you?”

“Tooney made me a profile,” she shyly admitted, “I haven’t had the best luck with love in the past so she tried a new approach to getting me out on dates.”

“Ah,” you said, before sighing and asking the question you had been thinking of for the past few minutes, “so, how do you feel about this whole situation?”

Alessia looked at you, her beautiful eyes softening as she replied, “Honestly, I’m not complaining. I’ve always thought you were gorgeous, but I didn’t think you were into me.”

“Are you joking? Why would I not be into you, you’re breathtaking,” you laughed, deciding to just be honest and confess your feelings, “I had a bit of a crush on you when I first started at United, but I heard you talking about a date you’d been on so I assumed you were unavailable.”

“So,” she said taking a deep breath, “do you think the crush is still there?”

You grinned before saying, “yeah it’s definitely still there, I don’t think it went away.”

Smiling at you with her wonderful smile, Alessia gently reached over the table and took your hands in hers.

“I’m so happy to hear that y/n, it’s nice to know I wasn’t imagining the feelings I had being reciprocated on the app,” she said boldly.

You smiled back at her, as the pair of you continued to sit and chat, eating your food and admiring each other at the same time.

———

A few hours later you and Alessia were leaving the restaurant after a lovely night spent getting to know each other. You had discussed your hobbies, your past relationships and much more and the pair of you felt much closer than before.

As you were walking towards your car, your conversation was interrupted by your phone ringing. It was Millie.

“Hi y/n,” she said as soon as you answered the phone, “so, how was the date with Lessi?”

“How did you know it was her?”

“Me and Tooney were chatting about you both a few days ago and we put two and two together and realised you were talking to each other. We just didn’t tell you,” she said excitedly.

“That’s the smartest thing you guys have ever done,” said Alessia, leaning over to speak into your phone.

“Rude! I’m assuming the date went well then if you guys are still together,” said Millie, eager to know more.

“Bye Millie,” you said laughing, before hanging up to stop the girl from asking more questions.

By this point, the pair of you had arrived at your car, meaning that it was time to say goodbye. You turned to face Alessia, staring into her eyes and admiring the way her beautiful blonde hair fell around her shoulders.

“So,” you asked, “is there any chance we can have another date?”

Alessia dramatically pretended to think, before grinning and replying “I’d love that y/n, I’ve really enjoyed tonight, I’m sorry I never got the courage to ask you out when you first joined.”

“Well, we’ve both got the opportunity now to do something about our feelings,” you smiled.

Alessia slowly stopped smiling, appearing to be deep in thought, did she do what she wanted to do to truly show her feelings? Or did she just look forward to the next date? She decided to be bold.

“y/n,” she spoke nervously, “can I kiss you?”

“Please do,” you replied, feeling giddy at the thought of kissing the gorgeous blonde in front of you.

Slowly, Alessia stepped forward and took your cheeks in her hands, before carefully leaning forward and finally pressing her lips to yours in a magical kiss. It was soft and sweet, just like her, and was the perfect end to a perfect night.

When the pair of you pulled apart, both smiling and giggling at each other, you thought to yourself how strange it was that you had Millie and Ella to thank for this.

You never imagined you’d be thanking Millie Turner for convincing you to fall for a mystery, but now you were so happy that you had fallen for your mystery girl.

———

[piosplayhouse]

I don't know if you'll answer but I need to know the lore behind sexy times with Wangxian, like is it a fanfic? why do people hate the author??

It was the longest mdzs fic posted during its time in 2021 and gained extreme notoriety for its absurdly long tag list, frequent update schedule that consistently forced anyone scrolling any of its tags to see it at the top of their page, and escalating poor, racist, and trolling authorial behavior that ultimately culminated in the author virtual1979 being suspended from ao3 for a month because she posting an author's note saying she hoped that all her haters would contract covid and die. She deleted the fic from ao3 a little while after this happened, ig bc she wasn't getting enough attention anymore, but allegedly the thing's still up on dreamwidth under strict friendslock. The fan lore article goes pretty in depth about it:

The best summary for why it pissed people off so much is really just showing you these screenshots of what the fic looked like towards the end of its life on desktop and mobile (be warned opening the full image):

From my personal experience:

from 2019 up until around 2021 the fic really was just a normal-ish, if very strangely written and kinky, wangxian porn fic about them basically just fucking around post canon and enjoying day to day life. It updated pretty frequently and had a fair amount of tags because the author was literally just tagging anything that she wrote. But like the first few hundred, maybe even a thousand tags were pretty accurate to what the fic was because of that, and were relatively manageable for the first few years that it didn't pick up any attention really.

At some point in 2021 when cql was really starting to blow up online and the tag count was starting to pile up to the point of annoyance, the fic started receiving some comments that were just like "hey can you try to cut down on tags, I don't think it's necessary to be so specific as to tag 'Korean food' or 'eggs' or whatnot". The author did not share this idea, evidently, and instead built a grudge against commenters who would tell her to delete tags, subsequently adding more and more as time went on.

As the tag count and updates increased, the content of the fic did too-- it got a lot, lot weirder. I'm sure someone's saved it all somewhere but for reference it spun out into what I can only describe as like if Rick and Morty's plot was cut to be just the parts of the show with underage/incest plotlines with All Tomorrows level sex dystopian world building exclusively to elicit the most visceral audience reaction possible. Around this time is when more people started to notice the fic and its escalating tag issues, leading them to leaving more comments complaining about it, leading to the attention seeking author spitefully adding more tags. Around this time is when she also started adding fake tags that didn't apply to the story whatsoever (sorry to disappoint, "talking vagina" was one of those. I did check) just to boost the count, take up more space on people's screens, and bait people into commenting hate for attention.

By this time, it had become a fandom-wide annoyance as she had begun to tag entirely unrelated ships, therefore putting the near-daily updating titanic of a fic at the top of any mdzs-related tag. People were outraged about this, and calls came for ao3 to step in. Ao3 waffled around for a bit as there was no official rule at the time that imposed a tag limit, so there wasn't established ground to ban virtual1979 (who btw many people suspected of being 40 whole years old due to the username and allegedly some other internet sleuthing on Facebook or something). Meanwhile, she began to tag other fandoms-- tgcf, svsss, BTS, basically anything that would get a lot of attention and draw hate with the advent of The Monstrosity suddenly drowning out all other recently updated fics of the targeted fandoms.

People had been trying to retaliate without ao3 action, though, by coding their own themes/skins that would allow someone to block a user or work and other fic writers made their own parody, the "bland times with wangxian" collection, which were minimally tagged sfw shortfics typically featuring wangxian just doing laundry or things like that. A good amount of them were actually like just fics where wwx would explain to lwj how to install custom ao3 themes and block fics that were taking up too much space on his screen. Imo it was pretty funny, but these also sparked some controversy as people disagreed with fighting annoyance with more annoyance to people trying to find content.

Either shortly before or after ao3 staff said they'd step in due to an insane amount of reports and backlash, I forgot which atp, virtual1979 began perhaps the worst tagging spree of the fic's life by changing the title, many of the tags, and the summary to a slew of racial slurs, sexually explicit imagery, and other generally offensive statements. I'm pretty sure this came after the fic was temporarily hidden once, as this update gained considerably less attention than the rest of the tagging saga, but people were still rightfully pissed about it. Ultimately, like I mentioned before, the author was then suspended for a month for wishing covid and death on her haters, and attention seemed to die down during this time to the point where she didn't really fight much more when her suspension ended and deleted her account and the work shortly after. Again she seems to have moved to dreamwidth, but most have forgotten her and I'm not sure if her presence is public at all on there. But that's the story of the worst mdzs fic ever written

[pleasingsatellite]

saw requests were open and i have an idea for you if that’s okay? it’s angsty and fluffy, but yn and harry have successfully hidden a pregnancy and had a baby that they’re keeping quiet, but then there’s a hack/leak and photos of her pregnant and them with baby get out, and they’re forced to address it

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 36 others

yourinstagram pre baby bump, baby styles is due any day now

view all 19 comments

yourfriend so pretty, I can't wait to meet my new lil bestie!!!

annetwist can't wait to see you guys so soon and hug my new little angel in a few days!

↳ yourinstagram can't wait for a momma Anne hug!

gemmastyles counting down the days!!!

harrystyles my beautiful love, can't wait to hold your hand through it all.

↳yourinstagram why do I feel like you're going to pass out in the delivery room...

↳harrystyles heyyyyy :(

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 58,628 others

enews Harry Styles girlfriend who lives a rather private life had her private instagram hacked today. Photos of her pregnant and with their child were leaked. The couple have yet to speak on the incident.

view all 468 comments

harryfan1 SHUT THE FUCK UP

harryfan2 harry is a dad and literally, no one knew????

↳harryfan3 yeah because they didn't want anyone to know...

harryfan4 I am heartbroken for all three of them. They clearly didn't want this to get out and wanted to protect their child :(

harryfan5 please everyone delete any of the photos, it's just an invasion of privacy

harryfan6 I just know harry is pissed off right now

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 45,638 others

hsupdates harry and his baby from y/n’s instagram that was leaked today!

view all 437 comments

harryfan1 delete this bestie

harryfan2 this is such an invasion of privacy, why would yall continue to spread the pictures?

harryfan3 you guys act like you're privy to harry's private life and you're not

harryfan4 yall don't wanna be sued like delete this rn

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 436,828 others

yourinstagram Harry and I are heartbroken that ours and our baby’s privacy were invaded like this. We wanted her to decide for herself when she was old enough on how much she wanted to let the world see and she had that right taken from her today. So much of Harry’s life is public and we just wanted one thing to ourselves. These will be the only images posted of her until she decides what she wants you to see.

view all 13,839 comments

harryfan1 I am so sorry y/n I am heartbroken for all of you guys. I hope you guys receive the privacy you deserve

annetwist my love I am so sorry

harrystyles ❤️

harryfan2 You guys deserve all the love in the world

harryfan3 Obviously we want to see harry as a dad but we should see it when he wants us to!

harryfan4 I hope both harry and you are doing ok!

↳yourinstagram thank you, we're leaning on each other a lot right now.

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 32 others

yourinstagram going back to my little private life with my baby and my husband

view all 12 comments

yourfriend you deserved it!

annetwist Can't wait to see you three tomorrow!

↳yourinstragram I am so excited to escape for the next couple of days

gemmastyles coffee date soon? need some baby hugs

↳yourinstagram yes!!

harrystyles missing your bump, let's make another one soon

liked by harryfan1, harryfan2 and 89,728 others

vogue During a recent sit down interview with Vogue Harry Styles talks about having his privacy invaded.

“I chose to put myself in the spotlight, I decided to pursue the career I have now, my daughter didn’t chose to be born into this. I’m well aware of who I am and that people are interested in my life, but to have my wife’s privacy taken from her and my daughters right to choose to be public broke my heart. As a father all you want to do is protect your child and a part of me felt like I failed at doing that when those photos got leaked. I give what I feel like is so much of myself to the world and to my fans and at the end of the day I want to keep a small part of me to just my family and I believe I have to right to do so. I can only hope people learn from this and understand we don’t want her face or any pictures of her spread anywhere.” (The photo included in this article was given to us by Harry)

view all 2,738 comments

harryfan1 I feel terrible for him

harryfan2 You can tell he's so upset and it breaks my heart

harryfan3 I'm so glad he's speaking out about this, I feel like oftentimes he just lets things go so I'm glad he's putting people in their place

harryfan4 "a part of me feels like I failed at doing that" I can't that is heartbroken

harryfan5 anyone who posts any photos from the leak is just blatantly disrespecting harry

harrystyles thank you for letting me say my peace.

super proud of this and I hope you guys enjoy it 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

[lemonnsss]

Moral of the Story pt.2

Warnings: cheating, illusions to sex, angst, not BETA'D we die like men.

A/N: It's finally here! Sorry for making y'all wait two extra weeks, enjoy!

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8

Taglist: @vicmc624, @mostlymarvelgirl, @yvonneeeee, @beetlejuicesupremacy, @moonlightreader649, @whattheduckisupkyle, @chrisevans-realwife, @nekoannie-chan, @mrsbarnes32557038, @imyourbratzdoll

Word count: 1.2k

Within a few days, I'd moved across the country. Even though anyone from Xavier's could fly over without warning, I thought it would be good for me. I wanted to escape Jean and the heartache she brought with her. Jean had everything. I had left, she had Logan, and I'm sure she would find a way to manipulate Scott again. Just like always done.

Given the circumstances, I wasn't looking forward to my return as a teacher. I had worked as a secretary for a lawyer through college to be able to pay for tuition, and I decided that would be my best bet.

I sat in my bed at the hotel, craning my neck at my laptop screen. Finding a job here was a lot harder than I had anticipated. After a few hours, I had finally found a decent opening. It was a higher-level position at a conglomerate major enough for even me to have heard of. I suppose it's not shocking how much the former CEO is always in the news. A fact that makes sense with the understanding that almost every eligible lady threw herself at him and, oh, how could I forget, one of his board members and most trusted advisors had tried to kill him. Twice. 

I set up the meeting for the day after tomorrow, fearing that the next day would be filled with an intense migraine, a common side-effect of driving past 2 A.M. trying to make it to California in the shortest time possible. I got up, placed my computer on the provided desk, plugged it in, and begrudgingly moved to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

The next day came, and for the second time this week, I'd been right in the type of way I loathe. When I got up, I could barely move, my muscles aching after spending the past few days stuck in my car, only taking a few long breaks to get some rest and about a half dozen times each day for food, drinks, and the restroom. Changing into something comfortable, I left my hotel room. The search for a decent coffee shop now beginning.

After about half an hour, I found a place that looked decent enough. I walked in, and it felt like all eyes were on me. The feel of burning gazes, the sudden urge to make myself as small as possible, and the waves of dread crashing down on me. My symptoms of anxiety. An all too familiar feeling. I looked up at the menu, order already in mind. 

 “Hi! I’ll get a hazelnut latte with almond milk if you have it. Oh, and it says on the menu that there’s a white chocolate scone. I’ll have one of those as well.”

 “Okay, an almond-hazel-latte with a white scone. Who’s it for?”

 “Uh, Kyrie.”

 “Okay, Kai. Someone’ll call when your order’s done.”

 “Okay, thank y-“

 “Please, go find a seat.”

I backed away awkwardly. Slightly raising my arms, hands up in thumbs up. I walked away, putting my arms down, looking for a table to work at.

To no surprise, most tables were empty. For those occupied, their occupants were dressed in semi-professional attire, almost definitely catching up before going to work; the separation between their lives and my own shifted into something all the more evident. 

After about ten minutes, a barista called for the fake name I had given them. I got up and grabbed my order.

I sat at a table away from the windows and took out my laptop. I opened my email, checking for any new correspondents, to see almost 200 new emails, over half of which were from Logan and the other teachers of Xaviers. I went to Logan's profile, blocked him, and used the search bar to delete his previous messages. I don't need to read the pity speech of someone who doesn't value me as even a human being.

I scrolled through and saw an email from Scott, an unusual occurrence for him. I clicked to open it but didn't get the chance to read it, the screech of someone pulling at the table's other chair making it exceptionally difficult.

“Why are you- why did you sit down?”

 “I’m hiding from my bodyguard who is very determined to stay aware of my whereabouts. Even if he thinks it’s me sitting with you. He won’t interrupt our conversation. So, what's a pretty thing like you doing in a place like this?" said a man with dark brown hair in an expensive-looking suit, "You're new around here aren't you?"

Great. Preppy, rich white guy hiding from his bodyguard, the horror. I laid my head on my hand and took a sip of my coffee.

 "And how would you know if I was? My attitude, my dress, perhaps an unusual drained look plastered on my face." A cheeky tone in my voice. It didn't matter if I was exhausted; this could be fun.

 "I was going to say your accent, but sure, let's go with one of those."

 "What do I get?" I took a bite of my scone. It wasn't as good as I had hoped but not far from what I had expected.

 "I'm sorry, pardon?" Moved his torso to face me.

 "What do I get if I don't rat you out?"

"You get a conversation with me, not something afforded to most." He leaned back.

The door rings. A bigger man in a suit with short, curly hair, a goatee, and sunglasses walks in. The man in front of me gives me a slightly urgent stare.

"I want a favor. Anything, anytime. Within reason, of course."

"Okay, fine; that works for me, just well, you know help." His voice was now a low whisper.

"Pleasure doing business with you," I say as I grab him by the tie, pulling him into a kiss. After a few seconds, I pull away slightly. I glanced around the room, my eyes landing on his supposed bodyguard. The man in question was looking the other way, an almost abashed look on his face.

"Wow, I was not expecting that."

"I'd recommend getting used to it, sweetheart."

His bodyguard took a final look around the room, figuring his client was somewhere else. Just as he entered he left, without a single word.

Hearing the door close he leaned back stretching almost, "So, what do you want? Money, political support, a fun time maybe. I mean with the kiss you gave me I would think the last of which."

"I'll pass. I just moved here, and I need a job. So, If my interview tomorrow goes to shit, your company or whatever you do is the backup now. Congrats!" My voice was now full of sarcasm. 

"Hand me your phone, now. Don't be shy." I opened and closed my hand repeatedly to affirm my statement. 

"Pushy, are we?" He sat up lightly and pulled out the latest iPhone. I should have expected that. I grabbed it and slid the lock screen open.

"Really? You don't have a password? Mr.," I paused with the new knowledge of who this man was, "Mr. Stark. Know what? I'll call in that favor right about now."

[temporalarts]

Hello there, I have noticed you’re a well of knowledge when it comes to iDKHOW lore. I’m struggling to find good sources of information and I’d like to learn everything there is to know; do you know how I can do this? Anything I can read/watch? I did a surface-level lore dive a year or two back but I don’t fully remember everything and I’m seeing some stuff around Tumblr I never knew about. Call me Sally Mae because I intend on uncovering everything I can about this band’s lore ;)

hi there! sorry for the late answer, have had tumblr deleted for a while.

important information about idkhow lore first:

it is NOT required to know anything about the lore of idkhow to listen or enjoy idkhow. idkhow's lore is meant to be additional story to the band and is meant for fans to explore only if they are interested. idkhow's songs/lyrics by themselves do not have story meanings. it is hugely important to recognize that idkhow as music and idkhow as a story are separate entities.

idkhow's lore is a metaphorical story for dallon's experience within the music industry and celebrity la/hollywood culture. everything in the lore is symbolic for something in real life (for example, TELLEXX is a metaphor representation of the music industry). i implore anyone getting into the lore of idkhow to treat the lore with gently and respectfully because of that reason.

idkhow's lore has mostly been uncontinued since 2020/2021 since the release of razzmatazz. SRCHPRTY (main character of the lore) has been an abandoned account since june of 2021. this is for a multitude of reasons, including dallon not wanting to have a story line with each album, lack of label support, and lack of time for the lore. because of this, a lot of information about the lore has been lost to time and is no longer available to the public. gloom division (idkhow's most recent album) does have a lore behind it, but has not had a story run like razzmatazz had yet (it could in the future, but gloom division didn't have the time or budget to at this moment). lots of amazing archivists in the community are trying to preserve the lost content over the years (ill link one available one below), but please keep that in mind while looking into the lore.

you may see mentions of ryan seaman (also referred to as subject B) mentioned in the lore and some resources. ryan seaman was the previous drummer of idkhow and is no longer in or involved with idkhow since september 16th, 2023 (due to various reasons i wont go into here, but if you dont know look up the information to why online). idkhow is now and currently a solo project of dallon weekes, but if you see any reference of idkhow being a duo or see him in resources that is why.

that out of the way, here is all the resources I could come up with!

introductory idkhow lore carrd, made by my good friend @fadeyouout! very good start to everything in the lore!

full timeline of all events from current idkhow lore, made by me!

very good place to start with the lore is the srchprty conspiracy video. introductory video to srchprty's research, basic backstory for srchprty, and the main 3 questions in the story.

ALL srchrpty diaries: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! watch these chronologically as they build off one another.

if you haven't already, look through srchprty's twitter and instagram accounts. look through tweet replies/instagram comments. srchprty regularly interacted with fans while he was active and a lot of story building with TELLEXX comes from those interactions.

physical copy only extras in razzmatazz, lyrics for indoctrination and tomorrow people. razzmatazz physical versions came with two exclusive spoken word tracks, indoctrination and tomorrow people, both directly from TELLEXX.

TELLEXX documents, found in physical copy only extras in razzmatazz lyric book. includes a internal TELLEXX letter and volunteer subject consent forms.

archive of all of idkhow's instagram posts (2017-2022) made by abstracttheart on twitter. most of idkhow posts on instagram has been deleted over the years, so this is a great resource to see those deleted posts. you can most lore related posts from 2020-2021.

the mysterious world of i dont know how but they found me, dork magazine interview with dallon on the razzmatazz lore and its metaphorical meanings to him. VERY important read in my own opinion!

instagram highlights from idkhowindo: part 1, 2, 2.5, 3. their account has since been abandoned, but the archived stories are from the time of srchprty's activity and has a lot of good information in them.

questions i have answered about some idkhow lore topics in detail: what happened to srchprty, what is TELLEXX, and who is subject a. if you have any questions about the lore that you need answers to feel free to shoot me an ask in my inbox! idkhow lore is my special interest and i love answering any questions new fans have.

idkhow.com from 2020-2022 (recommend scrolling through archives of the website from wayback machine from august 2020-december 2020). the idkhow.com website during razzmatazz lore was ran by srchprty and was being recovered during the razzmatazz lore after a previous shutdown by TELLEXX in 1996.

TELLEXX stress evaluation test: may see this referenced around different lore resources, this is the official website for the test. as well as a article from the coder on how the website works to give results which is a very interesting read.

qwerty translator: TELLEXX/srchprty uses a code called QWERTY code throughout the lore, which is a letter substitution code substituting the alphabet for the QWERTY keyboard (ex: A=Q, B=W, etc). very helpful for decoding those codes!

most "niche" idkhow lore information comes from video/text interviews with dallon from 2020/2021! hard to find every single interview he does talk about the lore, but any dive into interviews from 2020 and you can find moments where he talks about razzmatazz lore. some instagram interviews from 2020 have been archived on idkhows youtube for watch.

indie pop, deep lore, and fan theories: how idkhow give there fans more than just music, tone deaf article on lore

i will update whenever i can with whatever i can find, but that is all the available resources for the lore of idkhow currently. if you (or anyone) have any questions about specific things within the lore, feel free to shoot me a question in my inbox and i will try my best to answer! enjoy!

[d10nyx]

um.... i started rewriting uncle leon guys pray that i won't delete it again... sneak peak bcs i didn't post a fic last week(and probably won't until like... sunday next week sorry)

Leon knew he had a drinking problem. He just hadn't realised it had gotten this bad. He couldn't even get his dick up with viagra anymore. He frowns as he looks down at the brunette he was planning to fuck, tempted to try and just push it in soft.

He ends up just kicking her out to drown his sorrows. He wasn't dealing with this shit tonight, not when he was seeing his asshole brother tomorrow. Pretty wife, perfect kids. His job pays better than Leon's ever will, and he didn't need to undergo years of trauma. Lucky bastard.

Leon does what he does best that night and drinks enough whiskey that he can pass out without worrying about the nightmares coming to ruin his night. 

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

He hasn't seen you in a good six years. You were still playing with dolls and shit when he last visited. Makes him feel stupid when he brings you a plushie as a gift. Clearly, he forgot how time worked, cause he still expected you to be thirteen. You still hug him and say thank you, sweet as ever. When his brother said he'd be watching the house and looking after you, he didn't expect to see you so... grown. Too old to need a babysitter, really. Even if your parents are gonna be gone for a week.

He gulps as his hands settle on your hips, trying to prevent you from pressing against his hardening cock. Down boy. At least his dick still works. It just took his college-aged niece to get it up. Doesn't help that you've got your tits smooshed against his chest.

Therapy was gonna be a doozy this week.

He could only pray that this doesn't turn into anything. The last thing he needed was his dick being the thing that got him thrown into prison for doing something stupid to you, no matter how cute that body of yours is. That's a new one, he thinks, mentally slapping himself for even thinking about touching you like that. He'd never do it, of course. That's sick, and he knows it. He's just so frustrated. And you're hot. A total babe. Somehow managed to get a better rack than your mom. Must be the Kennedy genes coming in. Leon's got tits for days.

He knew he had a drinking problem, but he never thought he'd lose himself this much. He never thought about hurting anyone, he's not a bad guy. It's just that every time he tried to be with someone, he just couldn't get his body to react the way he wanted. That's what the oxytocin was for, he thought, already thinking about taking a swig of whiskey from the flask in his pocket. If only that fucking stuff worked on him. The part of his brain that controlled his cock seemed to be permanently on vacation, and his wires clearly got crossed somewhere if he wants to fuck his own blood.

[lyomeii]

Yandere Regis Floyen

->warnings: yandere themes, blackmailing?, manipulation(?), tag me if i need to add more

->request by anon! Can I ask some gen hc with regis and max from father I don't want this marriage?

->a/n: sorry for take so long on this, since tumblr delete both of my drafts, i will post regis today and max tomorrow ( or today if i finished him ), for now, enjoy it~

-> his wife died a little after jubellian was born, and of course, his heart was broken but he stayed stronger to raised his little girl

-> and how he met you, the new babysitter who was recently hire by the headmaid, a sweet soul he could say, with your gentle touch on jubellian and smiles makes the little girl laugh more than the usual

-> when he couldn’t take care of jubellian, you were there, holding her little hands with happiness, he felt his cheeks warmth, seeing his daughter interact with you remembering the family he once wished to had, maybe you could help with that

-> took him a while to convence himself about his true feelings, and when does that, he confess his feelings to you during the tea time with his daughter causing a few problems

-> jubellian loves you and she is so happy that you are going to be her new mother/father but you don’t, you never felt anything for regis but a boss-employee relationship but you promised yourself to never make the little girl cry, so you accepted

-> and the second problem is the others servants in the household, they enjoy the new atmosphere and they hope to never return to the previous one

-> and the third being the fact he is a duke, someone who can easily find anything about you, your family, connections, and use it againt you, he didn’t let much a choice, didn’t he?

-> in a couple of weeks, you were married to regis, becoming the new duchess Floyen and now jubellian is you daughter, what a delightful live you now have

-> and regis is willing to kill and destroy anything or anyone to keep it that way

Your new life!

-> nothing much didn’t really change, you still care of jubellian, the difference is that you are now married to her father

-> regis makes sure you are never actually alone, when he is busy with his works, maids and sometimes knights watch you and serve you whatever you need

-> and when regis has time, he makes sure to spend with you and jubellian, according to him, you three need good memories

-> in balls and anything relating to other nobles, regis doesn’t let you get away from his eyes, he already lost amelia, he can’t lost you now

@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost

[thesiblingsoftheblackandwhite]

IMPORTANT (PLEASE READ)!!!

Hello everyone! I hope all of you are having a good day so far, first off. I know the booping around here has been fun! Normally I would do some silly little roleplay event around this time, but…

I’m afraid that I have to shut this blog down, likely for good. I’m very sorry to all of you who enjoy it and read it, and I am sorry that you’ll never see it’s conclusion. But this blog has been going on for about two years now? And only recently got traction last December, with the event. As much as I love the event, it was a spur of the moment thing. I didn’t have a set storyline for it, and that was my fault. Now, months later, the storyline is stuck.

When something like losing motivation for a project happens, I tend to simply…never touch it again. I don’t want that to be the case for this blog. In the beginning it was very infrequent posting, and I had been debating on deleting the blog back then.

I know most people and interactions are only because of the event, and that’s great! I’m OK with that. But my ideas are running short and I can’t think of a way to continue it. And I can’t just pretend that the event never happened and go back to how the blog was beforehand.

I know I can’t keep going with this blog as a whole if I can’t continue the Citizens event, so I decided to either scrap the blog or turn it into something else entirely. Since no one I know is in the Hatchetfield fandom, the idea of passing this blog on is impossible. If anyone wants to take this event and make it their own on their blogs, I’m giving you permission. I know how many people want to see it continue.

The point of the event was for them to make it to high school, and they haven’t even done that. I’m sure someone out there can write it better than I can.

This blog has been a big part of my life these past four months, and I am eternally grateful for all the amazing people I met along the way. Maybe I’ll make another Lords in Black blog down the line if I get my motivation back. It’s been fun interacting and reblogging with all of you either way. I’m hoping I can do so again in a different context.

I’m either deleting it or changing it come tomorrow. Either way, all the posts on here will be gone. Please do save any that you particularly liked.

I’m hoping that I’ll see you all again. I’m sorry that I couldn’t give you enough for this.

-Sweetie Mod

[friendly-neighborhood-imbecille]

accidentally deleted this post so now I have to make it again, I’m sorry.

For all Danny could remember, everything has been about the portal. 

He missed his class recorder concert. He was supposed to have a solo, his parents were busy with the portal. He buried the stray cat he had been taking care of alone. Jazz was at a friend’s house, his parents were busy with the portal. He had to walk to the elementary school for his elementary graduation. Only Jazz showed up, his parents were busy with the portal. He ran away, got lost, and was picked up by Tucker’s mom. She was the only one who’d pick up the phone, his parents were busy with the portal. He saved up and sold almost all his collectables so he could go to space camp. He never got to go, his parents were busy with the portal. 

It was always a constant in his life, but now, that constant was gone. The portal was finished, and it didn’t work. 

He guessed he should be happy. He’d tried multiple times before to destroy the thing, but he’d always been either too small and weak to do any real damage, or got cold feet and chickened out at the last minute. But now that it was actually broken he wished it wasn’t. 

It was much better barely ever seeing his parents, but them being happy when he did see them, than seeing them miserable. 

The portal was important to them, they had spent most of their lives on it, they cared about it more than anything else in the world, and it didn’t work. 

And maybe it was his fault. 

He lay in bed staring at the glow in the dark star stickers plastered across his ceiling. It had been a long day, and an even longer night. He had plans to have Sam and Tucker over tomorrow, but he’d probably have to cancel. He really didn’t want them to see him like this. 

It was 1:30 in the morning, his parents had left three hours after the portal failed, he didn’t know where they were, they hadn’t told them. Jazz had left an hour later to spend the night at Spike’s house. This left him all alone. This would usually be nice. No sounds of tinkering in the lab, no mumbles coming from Jazz in the next room reading whatever book she was currently obsessed with, perfect conditions for a good night’s sleep. But he couldn’t sleep. 

He had just been lying there for hours, the only noise in the house being a faint electrical buzzing that he wasn’t even sure was real. The only thing he could think of was the portal. What if it had all been his fault. 

He had tried to destroy it, what if he had succeeded?

He lifted his blanket up and off of him and stood up. He walked through the hallway and down the stairs, careful not to step on any of the squeaky steps, despite the lack of anyone else in the house. He leapt over the small uncovered part of the hardwood floor, ran on his toes across the carpet of the living room over to the basement steps, then froze. 

What if he had destroyed what his parents loved most? 

He almost didn’t want to know. Almost wanted to run back upstairs, get back under the covers, and not tell anyone. Ever. 

But he needed to know. He needed proof that it wasn’t him. He needed something else to be the reason. He couldn’t live with himself if it was his fault. 

He stepped down the stairs to the lab. The concrete floor was cold, he walked on his tiptoes to avoid it. He walked past scrap metal and wires haphazardly thrown across the floor. His mom did that. She was angry and had almost ripped apart everything on the tables. He walked past a large dent in the wall. His dad did that. It was terrifying. He had never seen his dad hit something before. 

He ripped his attention away from the chaos of the room and focused it on the portal. It seemed almost menacing. Cold metal gleaming in the dim light, almost like a blade. He walked closer to it. He had cut a few wires inside it last month in a desperate attempt for some attention, he couldn’t see them from here, he’d have to get closer. 

He ran over to the jumpsuit rack and grabbed his. He carefully put it on over his shorts and t-shirt and ripped a sticker of his dad’s face off the front. His dad had probably added the sticker recently, hoping he wouldn’t notice. He was honestly surprised it still fit, he hadn’t worn it since the seventh grade, but it had been a bit baggy then. 

He crept closer to the portal and examined the outside. Everything there seemed to be in order, then took a deep breath, and went in. 

It was dark. Not too dark he couldn’t see clearly, but it would get darker the further he got. He couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding in on something he shouldn’t. This wasn’t his place, he didn’t belong, but he needed to know. He got to the middle of the portal and stopped. There was a large panel missing. His mom said that it wasn’t needed, they could put it on later after they tested it out. There were tons of wires, he put his gloved hand in and moved them around, looking for the wire he had cut. 

Maybe it wasn’t even in this area. Maybe they had fixed it, maybe they had seen the wire and replaced it, but he had to be sure. 

Suddenly he saw it, the cut wire. He could fix this. He just needed to fix this. 

He ran out of the portal and opened every drawer and cabinet he could find until he found some duct tape. He just had to tape the wire back together and everything would be fixed. His parents would be happy. He ripped a large piece of the tape off with his teeth, ran back into the portal and found the wire again. He reached down to the bottom of the hole in the portal wall and searched until he found the other side of the wire. 

He could fix this, he could be helpful to his parents for once and make them happy. And once he told them how he fixed it they’d love him so much for it. 

He quickly put the tape on one end of the wire, added the other end, and wrapped it around. Now he just had to plug it in. 

The end of the tunnel started to light up, everything around him started to crackle with electricity, a dull whirring noise kept getting louder and louder, and something in his head screamed at him to run. 

The portal had never been unplugged. 

He dropped the wire and ran towards the opening, he was almost there, he was going to make it. But then the green light turned blinding, all he could feel was pain. He screamed, and everything stopped.

—

The first thing that came back was his hearing. He could hear a faint electrical buzzing, like the sound of a dying lightbulb, or LED lights. Faint enough that most people wouldn’t notice it, but present enough that it was inescapable. There was also this deep rumbling hum. The closest thing he could compare it to would be the noise whales make, but that wasn’t quite it.

Then taste and smell came back. His mouth tasted different somehow, like the aftertaste of lemonade, or maybe one of those cherry limeade sodas. But metallic, like he had licked a battery. His surroundings also had that same citrusy metallic smell. 

Then his feeling came back. His body ached with pain, but somehow it felt as if it was both there and not at the same time. His face was pressed against a cold, hard, rough, surface. He tried to move, but it was like he was paralyzed. A strange crackling filled the air, it felt like the static electricity he used to make by rubbing his stuffed animals against his hair, blankets and pajamas just to see the sparks. He used to think that he was generating more electricity for the house when he did that. 

Then came sight. He went from seeing nothing, to seeing black. Every so often a green light pulsed behind his eyelids. He didn’t know what it was, didn’t know what it could be. Then slowly, he regained the ability to move. 

At first he could only move his eyelids and fingers. The only thing he could see was the concrete floor lit by a faint green glow, but not long after, he was able to shakily lift himself up onto his knees. He looked around, he was in the lab. He remembered, the portal hadn’t worked. He had gone down to fix it and, he turned his head around for the first time since he had woken up to face the swirling green vortex. It had turned on. He had fixed it. He had been helpful. 

He quickly scrambled to his feet to walk over to it. It was working, just like it was supposed to from the start. He had fixed everything. His parents would be so happy, everything was better now, everything was-

He looked down to the floor. There was an arm poking out of the portal, it looked like his arm, but that wasn’t possible, he was right here. 

He looked down at his arm. It was different than he remembered. His glove was white, and the suit was black. He remembers it being the other way around. He looked down, his boots were also white, why were they white? Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. 

He looked back to the arm poking out of the portal. Something was telling him to leave it alone, to pretend it didn’t exist, but he needed to know what was going on. He knelt down on the floor, grabbed the wrist, pulled, and immediately dropped it and scrambled away when a charred face emerged from the portal. It was a corpse, there was a corpse in his parents’ lab wearing Fenton gear. He wanted to throw up, but there wasn’t anything in his stomach. 

Why was there a dead body here? Did his parents kill someone and leave their body in the portal? No that wouldn’t make sense, he had been in the portal and he hadn’t seen it. 

He had been in the portal. And that was his hazmat suit. 

He slowly walked towards the portal, trying not to directly look at the charred flaking skin of the corpse’s face, and hesitantly grabbed its wrist again to pull it completely out of the portal. 

It was the same size as him. Same suit, same boots, it was him, but if that was him, who was he?

He hesitantly walked over to the lab bathroom and tried to turn on the lights, but they didn’t work. The power must be out, but somehow he could see without them. He turned to look in the mirror and froze. It was his face, it was unmistakably his face, but it was different. His hair was white, his skin was purple, his eyes and freckles were glowing green, the same green as the portal. And he had fangs. He looked like a monster, like one of those ghosts his parents would tell stories about. 

A ghost. He was dead, wasn’t he?

He couldn’t be a ghost, his parents hated ghosts. If they found out they’d destroy him, or worse, cut him open on an examination table. 

He had to leave. He could just pretend that he hadn’t come back, he was dead and that was the end of it. He couldn’t let anyone know. 

But if Jazz found out he was dead she’d be heartbroken. She’d blame herself. 

He hesitantly walked back over to the body, trying desperately to not look at its open unseeing eyes. He needed to get rid of it. He couldn’t bury it in the yard, they’d find it, and the woods were too far away. He didn’t want to drag this thing around town just to hide it, people would see. He didn't even want to have to drag it out of the lab. Just the thought of touching it again made his skin crawl. 

But what if he didn’t have to move it out of the lab. It was already right in front of the perfect hiding spot, all he needed to do was push it back in. He grabbed a broom from the corner of the room and used it to push the corpse back in. Slowly, bit by bit, the body disappeared. Suddenly, the force he was pushing against vanished completely, like it had fallen off of a ledge. 

He dropped the broom, and walked up the stairs, trudged across the living room carpet, hesitated before walking across the uncarpeted hardwood floor, and pulled himself up the stairs. He entered his room, grabbed a few essentials, stuffed them in the big duffel bag he kept under his bed, put his phone in his pocket, and walked back downstairs. 

His mind was blank as he left through the front door, he didn’t think about where he was going, he just went. After a while he found himself at Tucker’s house. He didn’t mean to come here. He debated on whether or not to talk to him, but decided against it. He didn’t want one of his best friends to see him like this. He looked like a monster. 

He kept walking until he reached the forest near the edge of town. He decided to take a break from walking and sit down. What would everyone think when they came home and he wasn’t there? Who would notice first? Would they try to call him? Would they look for him? Would he ever be able to see them again? He wanted to talk to them, he wanted to see them, he didn’t want to leave. 

He pulled out his phone and dialed his dad’s number. His mom almost never had her phone on her, but his Dad always did. It rang five times before it went to voicemail. His breathing became uneven. He hung up, and dialed again, it rang five more times before it went to voicemail. He was starting to shake now, why was he shaking? He hung up and dialed again. It went straight to voicemail. His Dad didn’t want to talk to him. Did he do something wrong? Was he angry with him? 

He dialed his mom’s number, just in case she had her phone on her, it rang five times before going to voicemail. He hung up and dialed again, it went to voicemail after three rings.

She had declined the call. She hadn’t just turned off the phone, she saw he was calling her and declined it. 

Why weren’t they picking up? Had they figured out what he had done? Did they know about the cut wire? Did they hate him for it?

But he had fixed it, he had been helpful, if they would just pick up the phone, he could tell them, and they’d be happy. 

He dialed his mom’s number again. It rang and went to voicemail. He dialed again. It rang and went to voicemail. He dialed again. It went straight to voicemail. She had shut off her phone. 

They didn’t want to hear from him. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t fix it. 

Drops of glowing green liquid fell onto his phone and hands. He reached a hand up to feel his face, he was crying. He didn’t know what else to do. He needed to talk to his parents, he needed to hear their voices one last time, he needed-

Jazz! Jazz always picked up the phone. She wouldn’t ignore him. He shakily dialed Jazz’s number and held the phone up to his ear. It rang once, twice, three times, four, five, then went to voicemail. He hung up. 

His breathing started to hitch, his eyes watered up more than they had in years. He started to hiccup out sobs. He dropped his phone and covered his mouth to try and stop it, he tried to stop it but he couldn’t. 

His phone rang. 

He scrambled to pick up the phone and answered it before looking at the caller id. 

“Danny, what’s going on, are you okay? Sorry, I was asleep when the phone started ringing, and then it took me a bit to find it.”

He didn’t answer, the sobs were getting in the way. 

“Danny? Are you okay?” 

She sounded really worried.

He forced his voice to work. “Jazz, I fixed it.”

“What? Danny, what did you fix, what’s going on?”

He took a deep breath to calm his voice. “Please, Tell Mom and Dad that I fixed it, they don’t have to be angry at me anymore.”

There was a pause, like Jazz was trying to think of what to say. After a few seconds, she spoke, voice calm and soothing. “Danny, Mom and Dad aren’t angry at you, they’re just upset because the portal-”

“I was the reason it didn’t work, Jazz! I cut the wire, I ruined it, but it’s fixed now. Please don’t be angry at me.” His voice broke halfway through his exclamation. 

Another pause. “Danny, I’m coming home right now.”

He started to panic, she couldn’t go home, she’d hang up once she started driving, she always did. “No, you don’t have to-”

“Yes I do.” She cut him off. “You’re obviously distressed and need help, I’m in the car right now, I’ll see you in five minutes.”

“Please don’t hang up.” He blurted out. 

“Why?”

“I,” He thought for an excuse before just deciding to tell the truth. “I just want to talk to you.”

A pause, shorter than the others. “Okay.”

“What did you do at Spike’s house?”

If she heard the waver in his voice, she didn’t mention it. “We watched Legally Blonde and ate popcorn.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Yeah, it was. Spike almost choked on a twizzler, I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on them.”

He sat there listening to every little insignificant detail like it was the most important thing in the world. How the movie was, how there was an entirely different meal made for her due to her food allergies, how the pullout couch Spike’s room had a squeaky spring. After all, this was probably the last time he’d ever hear her again. 

“I’m almost home, Danny.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Danny, what’s going on?” Danny could hear the panic radiating off of her. He almost wanted to tell her everything, but nobody could know. 

“I, I had to leave.”

“What do you mean you had to leave?” She sounded like she was about to have a panic attack. 

“I’m sorry. Goodbye.”

“Danny wai-”

He hung up. 

He just felt blank for a bit, like he was frozen. This was it. He was never going to see them again. All because of one stupid mistake, he’d be alone. Would his parents look for him once they noticed he was gone? Would they care?

He didn’t want them to be upset, he didn’t want to hurt them, but he wanted them to be sad he was gone. He wanted them to care enough to look for him, but some part of his mind told him that they probably wouldn’t. 

The tears started up again, he didn’t try to stop them. 

He never wanted this to happen. He never wanted to have to run away, to never be able to see his friends or family again, he never wanted to die. 

He wished he was human again. 

He jumped up as a spark of light appeared at his midsection, then another, then he was fully enveloped in a bright blinding light. He tried to run away from whatever was causing it, but he tripped over a root, then it disappeared. 

He couldn’t see much clearly. A large green film covered everything, and when he closed his eyes the film turned purple. Like he had stared at the sun for too long. He propped himself up and waited for a few minutes for the film to go away. The rocks underneath his hand were sharp, so he lifted it. 

Weren’t his hands supposed to be covered with gloves? He looked at his hand, but it was too dark to see more than the outline. He could use his phone as a light, he reached for his pocket, but it wasn’t there. He wasn’t wearing the jumpsuit anymore, instead he was wearing pajama shorts and an old t-shirt. Exactly what he had been wearing before he put on the jumpsuit.

He wasn’t glowing anymore. 

He felt his teeth, one canine was longer and sharper than the other, but that was normal. They were nowhere near how sharp they had been earlier. He looked at his hand, trying to see if it was purple or not, but he still couldn’t quite see it. He looked around for a light source, any light source. There was probably a streetlight somewhere, he just had to get to the road. He grabbed his bag and started running. The rocks and pinecones at the forest floor hurt his feet, but he ignored it. He got to the road and ran until he saw a streetlight. He stood underneath it and looked at his hand. 

It was human.

He was human. 

He needed to go home. 

He started running towards Fentonworks as fast as he could, he could barely feel his feet touch the ground, it was almost like he was flying, but he couldn’t focus on that. He could stay, he wasn’t going to be hunted down, he was human, he could forget any of this happened and stay living with his family. He just had to get home. 

He got to the door sooner than he expected, he reached for the handle, then froze. He could hear some faint talking. It sounded like Jazz. Who was she talking to? Were Mom and Dad home?

“Yes, he’s kind of short, around 5 foot 3, black hair, tan skin, yes, blue eyes, they’re pretty big.” 

He opened the door and walked in, Jazz was on the phone, she sounded really worried, almost like she was about to cry. 

“No I don’t know what he was last wearing, but most of his shirts are space themed.”

He slowly closed the door and walked over to Jazz, tapping her on the shoulder. 

“No, I’m not sure where he’d be, you could check the-” She turned around then dropped the phone immediately after seeing him and scooped him up off the ground in a bone crushing hug.

“Oh my god, Danny!” She set him down and gave him a look over. “Are you okay? Are you hurt, did something happen?”

“No, I’m fine.” He assured her. He wasn’t sure if that was right, he didn’t feel fine, but he felt so bad about making her so worried.

“Are you sure? You seemed really distressed in that phone call. I was really…” she trailed off for a second. “Please don’t do that again.”

“Okay.”

She gave him another look over before wrapping her arms around him in another hug. He hesitated a second before hugging her back. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

[jensensfanfic]

MONET'S

pairing: justin x gn!reader

warnings: brief talk of justin's not-so-great past, but it's not detailed - just talked about in the form of rumours/hearsay

a/n: my next few posts are gonna be fics that came from my old wattpad book: 'justin foley gif series'. gonna try to fix them up a little and post them here before i delete them from wattpad :)

—☆—

The cafe is quiet when you enter; there are only a few tables taken up by men and women who look to be around your age. You had heard this was a popular spot for Liberty High students, so you assume that you'll probably see some of them around on your first day tomorrow.

You pull out your headphones when you approach the counter, and there's no need for you to ring the bell. Right away, a rather good-looking guy turns around. He doesn't seem to really look at you, but his voice and smile are polite and professional.

"Hey, welcome to Monet's. What can I get for you?"

"I'll just have a–" He looks up, and you pause as he throws a rag over his shoulder. "Justin Foley?"

He frowns. "Uh, yeah?"

"Sorry. Um... I'm new at Liberty, and I– I just recognised you from the, uh... football... photos."

"That's where you recognised me from?" He shifts from where he'd been leaning on the counter and stands up straight. "Sure."

"Crap. I'm sorry... again."

"It's fine, alright. Secrets never stay secrets at our school. I'm not surprised the new kid already knows all of mine."

Scrunching your face and pinching the bridge of your nose, you sigh. "I've offended you. Justin, I'm–"

"Don't say sorry again." Justin smiles, then shrugs. "I meant it- it's fine."

"So... the things I've heard... they're true?"

"Some of them." He nods. "But I hope they won't make you run right outta here to find another coffee shop."

"Oh... no. No." You smile shyly. "We've all got our shit... right? Even me; 'the new kid'."

"Right." Justin smirks, then grabs a mug from the rack behind him. "So, do you want anything because I have a break in..." He glances down at his watch. "... oh. Two minutes ago."

"Ah, crap." You turn around anxiously, to see if there is anyone waiting behind you. Luckily, there isn't.

Justin notices you doing and says, "Slow day. Don't worry. Now, tell me what you'll have; on the house."

"You don't have to do that."

"Nah, it's all good. I'll get you something and then you can join me on my break... if you want."

"I'd love that. Thank you!"

"No worries. Now, please, for the love of God, tell me what you'd like."

You laugh, and them give him your order, to which he replies with a wink. "A great choice. Coming right up, new kid."

—☆—

Taglist: @mockerycrow @wqxianwriting

13 REASONS WHY MASTERLIST

[gemmasgraveyard]

Hi! My name is gemma, im 22 (mdi)

◇300lbs sw active in 2024◇

My account has gotten deleted so many times and it makes me so sad. Backup @riotgrrrlgemma

Sw: 305

Cw:??? Idk I don't have a scale

Gw:240

Gw2:222

Gw3:199

Gw4: 175

150 is the goal ♡

Or less

Read for stupid rambles, update frequently

If you scolled this far thx!

I'm gonna put some stuff here about me, like my favorite music and sh!t like that

I'm 22, a Gemini. Although I don't believe in astrology, I do think a little of it is true. Like,, my moon and rising are so accurate.

Scorpio moon, sag rising

Anyways, I'm a size 22, isn't that crazy?

I remember when I was size 18 and actually to into actually how my teen body changed from size 12 to 18. This was the lowest in my life, I basically just shoved down the way I felt with food. My parent kicked me out because I told them I was as by their partner.

Long story short they don't believe me and never will... so I kept shoving how I felt with food

Now I live alone, I'm happier

Or. Am I. Because like I don't feel anything but guilt and anxiety. I try not shove my face with food but unfortunately I'm not better than I was before.

I'm still so fucking massive and I've been doing this since November. I fucking hate my self.

Sorry to like trauma dumping

Anyway, I always found my outlit to be creativity. I love knitting, painting, crafting, and making diy clothes. Music is another thing I'm trying to dabble in, I love all music and all genres. How can anyone make a horrible song? At least, that's what I think. So much goes into it. It's just such a beautiful thing. Even in the songs that others find bad or corny, I love.

I love smoking w33d and gaming.

I know that sounds corny asf, but honestly, I could spend all day being a gremlin and not binge. I used to play Cold War so much, and because I have anxiety, I would clench my jaw. The way that felt was enough to make me not want to eat.

I want to start going out, but every time I do I feel so ugly and gross. I start to feel guilty just being there. I guess I'm guilty other people have to see me? I don't know. Anyways sorry for dumping this here. But yeah I might just dump my rambling I have in my head.

April 5

Sometimes I think God isn't real then I pray for strength in order to fast and it works.

April 12

I went out a few days ago. No one worried about how ugly I was because I did my makeup. I am starting a 44h fast. I love the number 4 soooo much. Anyways, I'm almost out of weed and cigs, which is very annoying... just like how my partner wanted to sit down with me and have dinner before he went to work. I tried to just serve him, but he was like almost lecturing me, and I ate. It's okay. Like I said, I'm starting a 44h fast now. I just hope this isn't a problem in the future. Update at 2 pm so my partner made me make breakfast, I'm not upset. I just had eggs, but I was able to make him some eggs and sausage. He went to go pick up his check, and he got me cigs and weed. But he came back with a pizza and was like "oh this is for dinner and maybe tomorrow's breakfast" so glad to have this man in my life but why pizza !

[woneuntonzz]

torn and folded .ᐟ (2/2)

📞 ; “respectfully, you're disgusting.” | 💿 part 1...

𖹭 : bully!seunghan x bl reader, amab!reader

💭 you loved your free time in manga reading websites, not him though, he thinks you need your senses sorted out for you, and so he would...

⤷ contains: mlm pairing (this is pure fiction and is in no way

made to assume the idol's sexuality!!), angst, bullying,

homophobia towards mc (i myself have struggled with), fluff,

humor (kys/kms jokes), mention of other idol names for world

building

⤷ wc: 11.2k!! (not proofread :3)

-ˋˏ under the cut .ᐟ ✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

saxyguy1002

hey bunz

can i ask u a question

what do u do when u like someone?

bunz

why’d u even ask if you can ask me when you’re gonna ask either way

saxyguy1002

sorry

bunz

oh

well

idk either

saxyguy1002

do u like someone rn?

You sighed, deleting what you have previously typed: you.

bunz

yes

saxyguy1002

who is it? 👀

bunz

u don’t even know him

idk why ur even asking

saxyguy1002

ur right

so what

ur just out being a loser all day and not do anything about it?

You could only laugh silently at your screen. 

bunz

he hates me

saxyguy1002

ouch

sucks for u ig

bunz

kys lol

saxyguy1002

ur so sweet

dw u have me

fuck that guy

You rolled your eyes, you couldn’t believe you were smiling over everything despite the somber truth behind it all.

bunz

i thought ur not gay

saxyguy1002

that’s a conversation for another day

come on

tell me to kms

bunz

um, okay????

kys

saxyguy1002

something’s missing

bunz

AAAAAA HELLL

kys :3 (hope u dont wake up tomorrow)

saxyguy1002

i will :> (i have to wake up so i can actually kms)

You don’t think twice before shutting down your computer the second you’ve read his reply. Looking at the time, you had once again spent two hours of your night chatting. It’s crazy how far you’ve gone when it comes to talking, it would always be just about the games you’ve played, sometimes complaining to each other about school. It was him who’d start talking you into revealing more about yourself, and he’d do the same without even asking. That’s how you found out that he was definitely Seunghan. 

At first, his messages made sense for the guy you saw him to be in school, then he’d change, it’s very gradual but it’s there for your eyes. You’ve played the waiting game before, longer than anyone, you just hope waiting for him would amount to something. 

You’d spend your next days with Matthew tailing behind you, and like what you agreed upon, you two would read that manga you were currently reading, next to each other on your phone. Somehow he got you to feel comfortable enough to stay in the library with him instead of that desolate room. Of course, he’d ask you why you liked it there, and you’d tell him everything. Despite your attempts of flailing his attention towards the manga on your phone, he’d continue to ask you if you were fine with not being in your safe space. 

“I’m really okay.” he kept his eyes on you, as if urging you to keep talking. “For now at least.”

“You know, actually followed you there because I thought you were up to something bad —but I didn’t know it was you either since all I could see was your backside.” it was the first time he’d hear you laugh audibly, and he’d smile. 

If you were being honest, you felt like you still had to keep your guard up. He’s told you himself that he’s heard about you, probably seen you at your most piteous state. It just boggles your mind that him approaching you was purely arbitrary, and like others, he didn’t care much about you being bullied before. But you gave him the benefit of the doubt, he had a life of his own and he was most probably concentrated with what he had going on in it, after all, you were mere strangers to each other.

You quickly learned that you were only spared when you’re with him, but back in your class, you still suffered the same hell.

“Seunghan, why aren’t you responding at the group chat?”

Or maybe not quite the same. 

You vowed to yourself to never let your eyes wander around without care, but you felt so anxious, you could feel it at the back of your head. With some shameful guessing, you thought you might know whose eyes it is that pricked you. You braced yourself once you stood up from your seat, hearing the bell ring for the last time that day, it was tradition for them to push you around before going home.

And they did just that. You’d be on the floor hurrying to gather your belongings that were scattered on the floor, by chance —and because of your cluttered mind— you looked up to the door, and Seunghan would pass by. You caught his eyes looking right into yours for a very brief moment before he completely vanished from your sight. 

There was something about him that day, he didn’t walk up to you, he didn’t steal your phone and threw it around, he was just there. It was like back in middle school, you knew he could see you, but he chose to not give any of his attention. 

saxyguy1002

aaa sorry my play was ass

i can’t believe i’m bot frag

bunz

i was ass too

saxyguy1002

we’ll get it next time

ig it’s not a very great idea to play with a lot of things on ur mind

bunz

same

what is it for you anyways?

saxyguy1002

i’m gonna be 18 soon

technically i’d be an adult by then 

right? 

bunz

yeah?

why ask?

r u planning to commit felonies rn be fr

saxyguy1002

no

i just wanted to be 

away

from my parents

bunz

oh

what is it about this time?

saxyguy1002

i’m just tired of it all

they’re too controlling

and what for? lmaoooooooo

i feel like i’m gonna burst

i can’t even pursue my dreams because of them

talking abt “you’ll end up–” 

idc where i end up as long as it’s not with them

bunz

ykw

if ur confident enough that u can survive out there on your own

do it 

this is your one chance with life, do what you can to live it to the fullest

saxyguy1002

could’ve just said "YOLO and embrace your FOMO"

bunz

kill

your

self

saxyguy1002

i was totally just jk

just just kidding

enough abt me

you?

bunz

it’s the same thing pretty much

my dad would kill me if he found out

saxyguy1002

that ur gay?

nahh u have to escape 

i’ll help

bunz

that’s crazy tho

u dont even know where i’m at

saxyguy1002

oh but what if i do

bunz

then u can be a private investigator

or a psycho stalker

my saesang <33

saxyguy1002

bunz stan 😋

bunz

kys :3 (idk kinda hope u sleep w/o that shit in mind)

saxyguy1002

i will :> (thanks ik u want me fr)

The days that followed, you could see his messages reflecting through the way he behaved at school. He was no longer one you had to be careful around, still, he seemed to be just as indifferent towards you. There’d be moments where you’d catch his eyes, but in them was something you haven’t seen before —or more likely, in a while. You’d cross paths outside the classroom often, and seldom times he was in the library too, and you would try your best to see what he was doing without completely turning your head towards him. He just studied, by himself. 

It wasn’t a rare, once in a lifetime type of event, he was still quite the grade-conscious student because of his parents —he’s told you before— it’s just that he was always by himself. It should be for the best, getting away from those people, maybe he’d get his old self back, maybe you’d have him back in your life. The memories you shared then weighed more than anything else in your life, and even after everything he’s said and done to you, you would continue to carry it, still missing him behind the malignant persona he had created. 

In the meantime, you would have your usual routine with Matthew, and it immediately crossed your mind —if he had ever grown tired of these little hangouts, so you end up paying every little action, every little sound your consciousness, seeing if he was any different from the previous day. He’d never change, there was nothing that you could see, so you granted him your trust, even if it was hard giving it away again after a long while. 

“The guy is crazy, don’t you think? If he really loved the main character, why would he make him suffer through it?” —he was talking about the manga you two were reading. 

“I mean, it’s for the storyline.” you laughed at his sour face. “You read it anyway.”

It felt wonderful to let yourself breathe in every moment, not having to hold it to block off the torturous stench of your classmates’ perfumes. You hoped that this would last, at least until you had to graduate. He made school a bit more bearable for you.

However, with his absence, you’d shift back to your usual self, leery towards everything. You’d go back to that room, but it would not be the same as when you left it. 

You were that cautious boy all over again, taking light steps to the place that in your world, you owned, carrying most of what you could, even the items you knew you wouldn’t need. Your eyes scanned left to right, keeping your vision’s periphery clear for any threats, or anyone who could be following you.

When you got there, you stood outside of the room for a while. It wasn’t possible to peek without opening the door since the glass was blocked off by black tape —and it was probably there to keep students out. You convinced yourself that you had no reason to be nervous, it was your room, your sanctuary. You took a hold of the doorknob, very carefully turning it so that it makes very little sound. Every second that passed, you’d open it a little wider, and wider, until you could take a full view of the room. 

“Sorry.” you had turned your heel, ready to take speedy steps away from your comfort, but he who seconds ago was lax and seated, would rush towards you, grabbing your wrist and pulling you inside the room. 

He’d close the door, but you could only hear the sound it made, you couldn’t take your eyes off him, especially when he was that close. His eyes slowly made their way to yours, you could feel your heart racing, recalling the last time you were in his proximity. He felt you subtly trying to move yourself out of his grasp, so he’d release you from it, keeping his eyes on you. When he let go of your hand, you’d look around, feeling anxious about everything. You were thinking about what he was going to do next and what he was going to say. 

You’d withdraw yourself from where you stood, backing away because of his sudden movements —he had raised his hand with his palm facing the ceiling, holding it up in front of you as if he was asking for you to give him something. You were unsure of what he wanted, and he took notice of that, his other hand reaching for his nape. 

“I didn’t know you’d be back in here.” his voice was impossibly soft, you were sure you looked like you had seen a ghost. “This was so sudden, I know.”

It was like your body had a mind of its own, and you would shake your head without being fully aware, pulling on your own fingers as your eyes went all over his face. You could feel the heat creeping up your face, so you’d look away to the side. 

“I’m sorry.” he’d lower his hand at a painfully slow pace, still keeping his gaze at you, and soon his eyes were glossed, “For everything.”

That day wouldn’t be as bad as it’d usually be, even without Matthew’s presence. That day, old feelings would resurface, with much greater magnitude. That day, you held his hand again, and it was like the first time all over again, where you gave it your all to not give off how jumpy your heart got. The two of you were just in that room, till the last bell sounded. You were sitting on the floor against the wall near the door, and your hands would remain entwined. You were so close to each other, like how you used to be, like those times under that big tree at that old park. His hands would move towards your head again, but this time it wouldn’t be to get rid of a leaf that landed on your hair, he’d lead your head on his shoulder, and his grip on your hand would be a little tighter, but somehow still gentle. You waited for him to talk, but he didn’t utter another word. All you could hear was his breathing, that at some point would falter when you moved after hearing the bell. 

“We should go back.” your voice was as quiet as the wind, yet he felt like he’d melt from it. 

“We could.” he’d let his tongue swipe against his top lip before he spoke again, “But we don’t have to.”

So you didn’t. You were there for hours, but somehow it still felt like very little time. You still had to ask him why he was being like that. What changed?

saxyguy1002

this is a sign

pursue your love

bunz

r u being fr

what’s up with you?

saxyguy1002

hahahahahahahahaha

don’t you ever just go

  ☺️

👉👈

bunz

huh 😭😭😭😭😭

saxyguy1002

yea so

i’m basically gonna risk it all now

maybe not all

not all at once

🤓

bunz

what is bro yapping about 💥💥

saxyguy1002

how’d u find out that you’re gay?

bunz

excuse me?

saxyguy1002

serious question btw ☝️

bunz

☝️🤓 well actually

ok wait 

serious face on

so 

saxyguy1002

hello?

gay ghosted

bunz

GASPED WHAT

ok 

well

i’ve known this boy for so long since we were kids typa beat and idk i never really liked any girls, i mean sure they're pretty and cute and all but i never pictured myself with any of them

but i did with this boy 

saxyguy1002

u have to tell me everything

bunz

kys :3 (go to sleep freak)

saxyguy1002

no :< (wait plz)

bunz

bro

saxyguy1002

that’s crazy

bunz

what

saxyguy1002

you know who i am don’t u

i know u

bunz

???

ur actually tweaking

ok fine u win

ur scaring me

go kys fr

saxyguy1002

y/n

The hand that held yours and led you back to his haven.

bunz

who

???

bro who’s that 😭

saxyguy1002

don’t be like that now :((

it took me this long to realize

stupid 

i’m stupid

i’ve told u a lot of things

even mentioned chaeyoung

that name is so awful to look at 

i’m sorry

bunz

seunghan

i’m gonna go

saxyguy1002

you’ll come back, right?

You took a sharp inhale, deleting every single reply you had thought of and typed out. You left him on read, not really knowing what to do from then on, yet, you were so eager to find out how this night would affect tomorrow. 

Slipping into the soft sheets, your eyes would swell with tears looking back at how he turned against you then. Your eyes would end up swollen, you felt so drained that you dreamt of nothing but the dark. 

Your thoughts went running fast, he owed you an explanation, and you believe he could give it to you soon enough after everything that unfolded from yesterday. 

“You seem to have a lot in mind.” you jumped at Matthew’s query, your consciousness being drawn out of your clouded head.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been re-reading that panel for ten minutes now.”

You sighed, feeling betrayed by your cognition. You ran your fingers through your hair, thinking about how you’ve been stealing glances from each other all day, and how he walked past you a little slower, mouthing “Let’s meet, room.” He had no room to be careless, he knew his sister still had her eyes on him.

“I’ll be busy later, you can keep reading, you really don’t have to wait for me.” you utter when your mind flies to the image of your hand in his. 

“Got it.” you just hoped Matthew wouldn’t spot you and follow you into that room again. 

You went there after your first afternoon class, after you’ve seen him leave first —not before calling you to follow with his eyes though. The door was only slightly open when you got there, and you’d poke your head in first, before finally letting yourself in.

“So you’re bunz.” he said once you were seated next to him. You’d only nod at him, and once again your eyes were stuck to each other. “When did you figure out it was me you’re talking to?”

“It took a while too. I had to piece together the things you were telling me. Then, like you said, you mentioned your sister.” he had to bite his lip to hold himself back from beaming, he felt as if your voice was enough to take him out of this earth. 

“And I had to tell you her name too huh.” he softly laughs at himself, “I got too comfortable I guess, no wonder why.” 

His eyes would trail down, tracing every detail of your face, and you’d follow his eyes, wondering what lies behind the darkness of those orbs. It had driven you to finally ask him what you’ve been longing to know, “What made you change back then?”

You swore you heard his breath hitch, and his eyes would slowly start to water. “Chaeyoung. She was going to tell on me.”

His parents, now you could understand a bit more clearly. What was it that his sister had against him that she’s got him backed up in a corner? And why did he have to add to your suffering?

“She forced me into… everything.” he’d open his hand as a means to ask for yours, and you’d give it to him, “If my parents knew, they’d move me away.”

You stared at your clasped hands, watching his thumb lightly graze over your hand, “Knew what?”

He felt a lump in his throat forming after you’ve sounded your question, and with a light squeeze to his hand, he answered, “That my eyes are only for you. You know I like you, right?”

It was nothing but a hunch then, but you felt crazy because for others it might fall in line with the normality of some friendships. It all meant something after all.

“I always have, but it did take a while for me to grasp on it.” now he had a grasp on you. “I know what I did to you was irredeemable, but, now that we’re older, would you give me a chance?”

You looked at each other like nothing else in the world mattered, you thought everything else around you was fading into dust when you caught a glimpse of your own reflection in his eyes.

“You don’t have to answer now.”

“Do I have to answer? you got me, Seunghan.”

Before he could take another breath of air, the door would open, and there he saw your friend whose face would display shock. You’d turn around, only to be met with Matthew who’d soon repeatedly utter his apology before pacing away. 

“Shit. I should talk to him.” you stood up, breaking the contact of your locked hands. 

“I’ll go with you.” you stared at Seunghan for a while, taking his words into serious consideration. 

“No. Chaeyoung might see you.”

“I don’t care. Let her see me. I’m more than ready to run away from that house.” —the truth is, he wasn’t much prepared, but he was firm that mentally, he was ready.

“We’re only graduating. It’s too risky. What about the dreams you want to pursue?” your tone sounded of worry, and it made his heart weak, wanting to just run into you so you could take him in your arms. 

“It’s you. I want to pursue you, Y/n.” his voice was a bit shaky, and it almost cracked, his eyes lured you to him, and he’d let himself melt in your embrace. 

You’d eventually have a talk with Matthew, but it would be the next day. He was surprised to see Seunghan following behind you. He had many questions, and they were all answered, indirectly at most. He didn’t even bother asking most of what he wanted to, he could already see it from the way you looked at each other, or how close your faces were and how your hands brushed against each other, feeling too bashful to just hold one another —though you’d argue that you were only that close because you had to whisper, you were in a library after all.

It’s been two weeks, two weeks of exchanged glances and secret signals to meet each other in that room. It’d be after the first week when he’d let his guard up when you were being messed with by his sister or the others, for the first time, he’d walk in between you and another guy who was causing you trouble, and he’d grab for your hand, dragging you out of the room with him. You expressed your worry, telling him that you were used to it, that he shouldn’t have done that, especially when his sister was there to see everything. He told you he’d handle everything, and he did.

“Are you seriously choosing to be this stupid Hong Seunghan?” That night his sister bursts into his room with this query, evidently enraged, “You really want me to tell mom and dad?”

“Yeah, go ahead, and while you’re at it, I’ll tell them about your boyfriend too and how he fucked you into failing three of your classes.” his stare was daring her to snap back.

“You have no proof of that, do you?”

“I can get proof if I ask him, it’s not like he knows how much of a good girl you are at home, you pretentious fuck.”

“You can’t talk to me like that!”

“Oh shut the fuck up. You’ve been shit to me and Y/n ever since we were children. Grow the fuck up. Y/n didn’t do shit to make your life as miserable as you’ve made his.” Now he was no longer afraid.

It was only a year ago when he had thought about what he truly wanted, and then he’d realize that he was close enough to start fixing himself up, thinking of ways on how he’d go about everything, starting with moving away from his family as soon as he could —if they didn’t threaten him first. He had to secure his chances, cause now he was sure that his future plans involved you.

It was quite a surprise that the torment would stop, though you would still receive glares and you could still hear them muttering under their breath, they would never get too close to you again. You were even more surprised when Seunghan had approached you at your desk, and you could see the stunned expression on the faces that scowled at you. 

“You’re not in trouble are you?” you quietly asked.

He places a hand on your shoulder, lowering himself to whisper to you, “I’m not, but I’m still not sure how long this will last. Let’s talk about it in our room later.” when he rose from your ear, he’d give you a light smile, walking out of the classroom. 

When you were back in your room, he proceeded to tell you about his plans moving forward, he also told you about the fight he had with his sister. He was quite set on what he wanted to do, wanting to get a scholarship, moving out of his parent’s house, getting a job while still attending college, and in his own words, the most important of all, to be with you along the way. 

“But, you know, you can tell me if you have plans that go against mine. It’s okay, I know you have goals of your own.” but if you were being honest, you were under so much pressure and fear for the future that you didn't even know what you wanted to do with your life. 

“I want to be with you.” It took him great effort to not close the distance between your faces right then and there. 

But of course, it was all easier said than done. 

Your relationship would remain the same till you graduated, following the same pattern everyday, keeping things as discreet as possible for the both of you. After graduation, you were talking to each other every other hour of the day, thoughts about the next phase of your life spilling out.

You were nervous to finally receive the results of your entrance exams for all the universities you were able to apply for, out of five, you were able to get into two, both offering scholarships.

You were high up in the clouds, thinking about preparing for college. You actually had a life ahead of you now, and you were glad that you ended up with the same boy you had started your journey with. 

You packed your stuff nicely in an old travel bag owned by your mom, who was no longer around, not dead, just decided she had enough of your mentally abusive father. You made sure to clean very diligently, so that your dad wouldn’t grumble about it after you’ve left. 

You wanted to leave this life behind you, the redundant pressure you’ve pushed to yourself, just to please your father who had given you more pain than help. So that morning before you left, you made sure you were leaving for good. 

“I’m gay.” 

You had expected him to throw his cup of coffee at you, but he’d just chuckle, his raspy voice made you flinch. “I know.” he’d laugh even more when he saw the expression on your face, “I’ve looked through your computer. You know, there’s really not much I can do. You’re not hurting anyone for being with another man, so go, live your life.”

It was nothing you could have foreseen, but before you left, you just had to give him one last hug, uttering a soft little thank you.

“He really said that?” Now you sit in a park near campus, under a tree, smaller than the one from your cherished memories, but just as beautiful. 

“I was surprised too. I’m not even sure if I heard him correctly.” Seunghan wrapped an arm around your shoulder, and you would do the same, wrapping an arm around his waist.

Your head laid on his shoulder, and his lie on top of it. He’d very gently rub circles on your shoulder with his thumb, and you could feel him sigh, chest going into a labored rise and falling back with ease. “I guess we could start with your idea.”

“The webcomic?” he’d hummed a response to your question. You sat up and faced him, your hand enclosing his own. “Our story would make for a good webcomic, don’t you think?”

“Hmm, you’re not wrong.” his lips would grow into a smile once he’d seen your beaming face. 

It wouldn’t take much time before he let his eyes wander down your lips, and you’d take notice of it. You beat him to it, and it was you who would close the proximity, sending heat waves throughout his entire body. When you pulled away, he’d blink a couple of times. He was only about to hold the back of your head to pull you in closer. You laughed at his bewildered face, and he’d become shy. 

“We can continue, my dorm room is probably empty, my roommate said he’d be out for a while.” you tell him, and he’d wear a smug grin making you cringe a little. 

“Yeah. Let’s do that.” he couldn’t help but take a pause, taking in how ethereal you looked at the moment, or how soft your hair was that he found all excuses in the book just to touch it. “And while we’re at it, I should start making concept art, sketches and all that. I’m gonna need a full body reference.”

Your face would wrinkle at his words, lightly pinching at his cheek. “Respectfully, you’re disgusting.”

His sweet chuckle almost made you forget you were in a public space, in a park. Though there were not many people there at that time, you were quite wary, something that would take time for you to adjust. 

So where did your ambitions take you?

After a year of college, you were both successful in selling your webcomics to a well known publisher —you could say you took longer than you should, given that most of your work time consisted of half-hour make-out sessions— and soon it would boom, and most people loved it, some were of course, a little less tolerant. 

Other than that, Seunghan had to deal with his parents who’d eventually find out about your relationship, and to that he replied, “What do you mean ‘shame on you for dating a gay man’? I am gay.” 

He’d make sure to add it to his bio in your favorite game. 

21 / male and gay AND i have a boyfriend @bunzshh

Disgusting, you mean, disgustingly adorable? People could call you disgusting all they want, but it’s the twenty-first century, people should be worrying about climate change and the things that are actually causing harm to the world. Don’t worry though, your story could only end on such a sweet note, and if people hated you, you still had your man (and no other).

boyfriend (legal)

fuck u

my man (and no other)

u already did like 12 hours ago???

boyfriend (legal)

ur sick

kys 🤍 (come over plssss)

my man (and no other)

i will 🖤 (hehehehhehehehehe open the door veronica)

End.

[nonclassyparty]

march 5th, 2017 (j.yh)

summary: excerpts of your youth through jeong yunho’s eyes

notes; part of the ‘when sorry seems to be the hardest word’ drabble series. there is no updating schedule for it, they will be posted at random times. the drabbles aren’t released in chronological order but they will be organized chronologically in the masterlist.

tw: bullying

yunho couldn’t sleep.

it wasn’t because he slept when he got home from school so his sleeping schedule got messed up.

it wasn’t that it was too hot in his room because his mom had a constant fear of everyone getting sick during the winter so she made his dad turn the heating on even when spring was close by.

it wasn’t even because he had a math test tomorrow that he barely prepared for. he should be worried about that though, he was never good with numbers.

it was the guilt.

it seemed to worsen each passing night from that party two weeks ago. 

every time he closed his eyes, he could see your small body on that chair in the middle of the room from the cracked open door.

he could hear the screams. he could hear the laughter. he could picture jung wooyoung’s guilty, frozen expression as he made eye contact with yunho from the other side of the hall. he could see kim hyoyeon’s beautiful smile as she threw her head back and laughed, the scissors hanging from her fingers.

it was playing like a broken record, over and over again until he had to tumble out of bed and downstairs to the kitchen - hoping a glass of water would be able to quench the inner turmoil and maybe somehow delete his memory for a couple of hours. just so he could shut his eyes and rest, at least for an hour or two.

he doesn’t expect to see his dad on the living room couch, sitting in the dark with a mug of tea in his hand. he’s staring through the window onto the street with a cigarette halfway done.

“oh. you’re up.” his father softly comments as yunho grips the tall glass of water and nods. “can’t sleep?”

yunho opens his mouth to respond. just say anything, he tells himself. just lie and go upstairs to your bed. 

“your mother made me heat up the house too much.” his dad chuckles quietly, shaking his head.

yunho’s father was a good man. he never yelled at yunho when he got a bad grade or got into any kind of trouble. always willing to listen and help. 

maybe that’s why yunho gets all choked up. because he wants to talk about it so badly. about the terrible thing he’s done. 

everything has been bottling up even months before that party but after, it just doubled. and now, it was threatening to spill. to ooze out of him like blood and drip onto the carpets below his bare feet that his mom especially prided herself in for having them picked out.

but how could he tell his dad? would he think yunho is a bad person? would he think he raised him wrongly despite always doing his best to be the dad anyone could wish for?

“yunho...” his father starts, concern gently laced with his deep voice, “is something the matter? i noticed you barely touched your dinner tonight.”

and yunho finds himself cracking.

ever since he was little, yunho found it difficult to hide the hurt but with guilt it was even worse. his parents always knew if he had done something wrong simply because he was slightly too pure at heart. a bad liar. and even worse at handling that he was the bad guy. that he hurt someone. that someone suffered because of him.

“dad..” he croaks out, the glass in his hand shaking lightly that he has to place it on the counter to stop the water from spilling.

“what’s wrong?” his dad always knows. he wondered if all parents were like that? as yunho gets older day by day, he finds out they aren’t. he realizes his dad always knows because they’re so alike. him and yunho. he knows what yunho is feeling or how things will affect him before yunho himself can process them. “did something happen at school?”

“dad...” he repeats, bottom lip wobbling now. tears are already burning at the corners of his eyes and more so when he notices how worried his father looks. “dad, i did something bad.”

many would say yunho is too old to cry.

but at seventeen, he was still just a kid. a kid who knew very little of the world and of life. yunho’s life at seventeen, extended along the hallways of his high school and the basketball court. that’s where everything started and ended.

and even though he’d get ridiculed if he ever cried in front of his friends, doesn’t mean he doesn’t do it in the safety of his own room.

his father sits up at that, face looking even more worried as he places the mug of tea on the coffee table. the cigarette is still between his fingers when he motions yunho to come closer and sit on the arm chair next to him.

“son,” his dad starts, his voice calm and comforting even to a boy that was guilty and ashamed. he puts out his cigarette, so yunho can have his full attention. “you know you can tell me anything.”

“i...” yunho starts but the tears choke him up and it’s only then that he notices how much he’s shaking.

“yunho,” he turns to his father, “anything. if you did something wrong...you need to tell me.”

“i was there, at that party...” yunho sobs out, wringing his hands between his knees as his eyes fall to the floor, tears sliding down his cheeks and getting soaked up by his t-shirt. 

“what party, yun?” his dad asks with furrowed brows, as he places a big hand on yunho’s knee in an attempt to soothe him because at this rate, yunho will cry himself into a panic attack.

“a-at the party. when it h-happened...to...to t-the girl.”

“what girl, son?” yunho’s heart breaks when he recognizes the twinge of fear in his father’s voice. he can only imagine what his dad must be thinking. yunho is so sorry that he has to put him through this.

“t-the girl.” yunho motions to the window, towards the small, old house across the street that can barely be seen in the dark even with the street lamps. he knows his father is terrible with names, he could barely remember the name of yunho’s best friend mingi and yunho has been bringing him around the house for the past five years, even after mingi started going to a private school which obviously made him different from the rest of yunho’s friends - his dad always called him ‘boy’. “y/n, dad. the girl who got-...”

“y/n?” his dad’s hand doesn’t move from yunho’s knee. “dohyun’s y/n?”

yunho nods, more tears slipping.

“you told us you didn’t go, yunho. you...you told us you were at home.” his eyes slip shut at the faint disappointment in his father’s tone but it’s nothing compared to the panic that sets afterwards, “did you-?...yunho, i don’t...i don’t want to make assumptions but please. you have to tell me the truth.”

yunho already knows what’s coming. he doesn’t blame his father for asking. it makes him cry harder.

“did you? w-were you one of the kids who-?” his dad can’t even finish which is okay, yunho will be honest.

“no. no.” he shakes his head and feels even worse when his father sighs in what looks like relief. relief because his child wasn’t one of the dozen that was responsible for what happened to you. relief because he didn’t raise a monster who could do something like that to a classmate. relief because what happened to you was awful and nobody wants to know that their child is capable of doing something like that.

but is yunho any better? was he really?

the world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything. wasn’t that what albert einstein said?

so technically, wasn’t yunho the actual culprit?

“i...i was there.” he admits shamefully, sobs calming down a notch. “i saw her. i...i s-saw them.”

“oh, yunho.”

“dad, i didn’t do anything!” the sobs return, ugly and strong rattling through his ribcage, “i just s-stood there! we...w-we all just stood there and...and no-one did anything-”

“yunho, take it easy-”

“w-we knew what was going on!” he cries into his hands, “we k-knew because t-they said it was supposed to be a j-joke. b-but it wasn’t f-funny dad! it w-wasn’t funny and she...she was c-crying...”

yunho brings his knees up to his seat, so he could bury his face in them, voice growing weaker the more he talked. “we could h-hear her...and the door was o-opened just a l-little a-and...”

“i’m a bad person.” he whispers just barely and his dad tightly wraps his hand with his.

“no. no. you’re not.” his father says firmly.

“i am, i’m a bad person.” yunho nods to himself, snot and tears running down his chin as he stares into his lap.

“yunho. hey. hey, look at me.” he lifts his eyes up to meet his dad’s, “you’re not a bad person, son. the kids who did that are-”

“she called my name!” his father goes silent, tears welling in his own eyes and it only causes yunho’s to triple. “she c-called my name because she thought i’d help her b-but i didn’t! i just stood there...i-i just stood there!”

there’s a loss of words. or maybe there just aren’t any words to be said. maybe his father, no more how eloquent and fair he is, doesn’t know what to do in this situation either.

maybe that’s why he wraps his arms around yunho’s frame while he cries despite the fact that his father hasn’t hugged him in years except on his birthday or the holidays. 

maybe that’s why yunho cries even harder. 

“i don’t know what to say to make this better.” his dad whispers into his hair, “but i can promise you that you’re not a bad person. a bad person wouldn’t be crying like this, yunho. you’re not a bad person.”

and yunho almost believes him.