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mysticmunson · 2 years

Text

from the script; eddie munson

prompt: the preachers daughter decides to help eddie munson study shakespeare to take a glance into the life of a normal teenager. but when they become best friends, things become a tad more complicated

word count: 7.1k (whoopsies)

warning: smut (18+), religious themes, shame in regards to sex, let me know if i missed any :)

an: hi all, thank u again for 1,000 followers. i adore u all so much. i'm planning on making this a series, i'm unsure of how many parts, but yeah enjoy :)

an 2 : so this was fairly therapeutic for me as i am a spiritual christian, i was alienated and judged by church so i stepped away from it. (esp bc im queer so) but it was very interesting to dive into the shame that comes with growing up.

Friendships always seemed to sprout in strange places for Eddie Munson. He was a proud embracer of the obscure and strange, collecting a group of friends that stuck out amongst the town of Hawkins, Indiana. He loved his relationships with them, they were unabashedly themselves despite the judgment of fellow students or older people who didn’t understand. He shrugged it off, choosing to make his own little family inside the chaos.

Your family was known across the small town, your father had been the pastor at the central church since you were in diapers while your mom managed the place of worship. With a younger brother and sister, you assumed the role of the older sister/babysitter/mom figure. You were always involved in church, it was essentially your whole life besides school, and you had friends that were like family there.

You were in advanced classes in school, hanging out with church friends mostly, dodging a lot of the scandalous things of high school like sex and alcohol. While you loved your friends, you couldn’t help, but secretly long for the unknown.

You often caught yourself wondering if they ever considered taking a dip into the life of a regular 18 year old, branching outside the confines of your conditioning. While under the watchful gaze of not only your family, but the whole church, you found yourself crushing under pressure. College was on the horizon, life was speeding up, and yet, you didn’t know who you truly were outside of your relations.

When Mrs. Cain asked you to tutor Eddie, you agreed without asking your parents. You liked any opportunity to meet someone different from you, plowing through your shyness would be easier with an English book in hand.

You waited by the school's entrance after seventh period, filling out your monthly calendar with test dates and worship meetings, buying time before Eddie would arrive. You watched him exit, his boots scuffing across the concrete as he looked around. You gave a small wave when his eyes met your, putting your book in your bag and meeting him halfway. You introduced yourself briefly, sticking out a hand,

“I’m Eddie, I’ll be the biggest pain in your ass until the school year’s over.”

You shook your head, giggled, grabbing the straps of your bag. You knew he had heard of you, you had heard of him too, you wondered what he thought of you already. His eyes were boylike, kind, despite his grungy clothes that made the two of you standing side by side seem ironic. You both started walking as you suggested going to the local library, only a few blocks from school,

“Don’t mind if I smoke?” Raising a brow, holding it between his lips and hesitating lighting the stick until your okay, which you granted. You made a mental note to spray extra perfume before you walked inside your home tonight.

“I’m surprised the warden let you out of his sight, I thought he’d send a bodyguard with you when you said you’d help me.” He joked as you became flustered, you wished not everyone knew you and your family. But his words were true, your father was hesitant to let you help Eddie. You knew how to win him over though, “I fought him about it, said I would give you a Bible or something, if you wanted it.”

He chuckled as he blew out smoke, pink lips pouting out, continuing your walk in silence before reaching the destination. He grabbed the door, opening it up as the cool breeze reached your skin. You nodded, finding a quiet place to settle, finding a place in the very back. Eddie had to put out his cigarette, leaving him to trail in a few moments behind you. As he exhaled, he shook the unknowing nerves filling his chest.

He saw your pink dress swoosh in the back corner, sitting down and opening the textbook. He took his place beside you at the wooden table, looking over your shoulder, “So, the upcoming test is on Venus and Adonis by Shakespeare, it was his first published poem, that we know of, from 1593.”

Mumbling something about it being ancient under his breath, he watched as you described it passionately, “It’s about Venus, the goddess of love, and Adonis, a man who wants to hunt, but known for his beauty, and ignores her advances. She makes a whole journey to Earth to meet him, he’s uninterested, yet she remains adamant. I don’t want to spoil it all, so let's get started.” You chirped, placing the book between you two at the opening page, “Maybe we could read together, but I do the lines Venus says and you play Adonis? You’re into that roleplay stuff, right?”

The uncontained laugh rang through the library, an older woman shushing him from across the place, a hand covering your own mouth. He nodded, “Shit, I mean, something like that. I’m a dungeon master though, so I’m at a high level.” Puffing out his chest, brushing fake dust from his shoulder as you grinned,

“Sounds cool, I don’t think there's any dungeons in here though, so hunters will have to suffice.” You teased as you looked upon the creased pages, brushing hair from your face. He observed your features briefly, the first time he had been this close to you.

He watched your lips as you began reading the Modern English dialect, which always confused him to an extent, but your soft voice soothed him. He looked down at the page, realizing he needed to make a subtle attempt at grasping the content without his attraction to you derailing it.

“And yet not cloy thy lips with loathed satiety, But rather famish them amid their plenty, Making them red and pale with fresh variety— Ten kisses short as one, one long as twenty. A summer’s day will seem an hour but short, Being wasted in such time-beguiling sport.” Quoting the text, Venus’ words made you bashful, “Wow, he was one horny bastard.” You smacked his arm despite his chuckle, raising his hands in surrender.

You did most of the reading at first as Venus encountered a hesitant Adonis, begging for a kiss or any affection from the beautiful man. A monologue from Venus explained her frustrations, proclaiming love in spite of the lust dripping from her lips.

The multiple stanzas had Eddie in a trance as if you were the first one to write those words, calmly leaving your mouth as if you weren’t tangling him in intrigue. Your voice halted when an older woman said they had to close early today for cleaning.

“Sorry, I didn’t know that was happening, maybe we should continue next week-” Beginning with a hushed voice, but Eddie cut you off, “How about we go to my place? We can finish it there.” Your stomach flipped at the thought of having to tell your dad you had gone back to a boys home, but you agreed calmly. You recalled that you were home alone until tomorrow morning, a church retreat that you opted out of due to upcoming exams.

This paired with his gentle nature made you feel comfortable as you walked to his trailer, ignoring the curious stares of those who saw you. You hope none would bring it up to your father, not out of shame, but out of expectation of his ignorance. He wouldn’t give Eddie a fair chance.

“Ah, not much, but it’s home.” He sighed as you walked inside his abode, taking note of the varying mugs hanging from the wall. Guiding you to his room, he haphazardly threw some stuff around to make it appear more neat, cheekily smiling as he sat on his bed. You joined him, pulling the scripts again, handing him his as he fingers grazed against your skin. Chills etched across your arms, pulling away to flip to the correct page, hoping he wasn’t aware of the effect he had on you.

He whistled absentmindedly while finding where you had left off, “Adonis finally speaks in a few pages.” He smirked at your announcement, “I’ve been waiting my whole life for this moment.” He cleared his throat dramatically before you continue,

“Witness this primrose bank whereon I lie; These forceless flowers like sturdy trees support me; Two strengthless doves will draw me through the sky From morn till night, even where I list to sport me. Is love so light, sweet boy, and may it be That thou should think it heavy unto thee?”

Eddie couldn’t stop the blush that trailed on his cheeks at the pet name, placing a hand over his mouth in false concentration. He only realized it was his time when you looked at him expectantly, brows raised, as he stuttered out a few lines. He took a deep breath and said the words with more intensity as Adonis began his rant.

The rant was filled with rejection of Venus, striving for hunting and not to breed. He was glad the words hadn’t been so vulgar for him, knowing if they had been more lewd, he wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face.

“What am I that thou shouldst contemn me this? Or what great danger dwells upon my suit? What were thy lips the worse for one poor kiss? Speak, fair, but speak fair words, or else be mute. Give me one kiss, I’ll give it thee again, And one for interest if thou wilt have twain.”

The words of the hunter felt natural as he continued, your mind fixated on the way he presented himself. You thought of his Dungeons and Dragons group, how interactive and imaginative it was, having to act out different characters and concepts. If he was this intense during a reading assignment, his passion must be astonishing when he loves it.

As his rant concluded, you read the script descriptors of Venus’ cries, distraught over his negligence to her wants. While your innocence contradicted with the goddesses lust, you felt the ache to be touched as she did. Close to tears filled with need, one that wouldn’t be sedated until your wedding bed despite your body pleading for release.

The thoughts were pushed away as you sat up straighter, a nervous scratch covering your throat, “Within the circuit of this ivory pale, I’ll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer. Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale”

The carnal text left you stuttering, continuing, “Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.” Venus proclaimed, yet your words fell short as you heard Eddie's failed attempt to remain collected.

He grinned, debating on whether his crass commentary would be appealing to you, “Shakespeare was writing about eating a girl out and I still didn’t pay attention!” The gasp did fall from your lips as expected, but giggling followed suit, “Believe it or not, a lot of his plays have allusions to, hm, stuff?” Trailing out the words as if he was the one with little knowledge of sex, your openess allowed his teasing, “So this is what the preachers daughter gets off to?”

You scrunched your nose, squirming in your place, “I don’t ‘get off’ to anything! Let’s just get back to the book.” Your squeak made him laugh, finding your embarrassment endearing, “Well wait a damn minute, you don’t use anything?” He questioned, eyes widening as you smoothed out your pink dress, shaking your head.

Looking at Eddie made you feel different; The way his lips and eyes looked soft this close, his voice wavering between deep and standard, but his small touches had been most enticing. You wondered what they would feel like to grasp you, plush skin under his control with no contraceptives of clothes.

The guilt of your desires sunk in, face dropping midthought, standing up to grab your bag. He looked panicked, “Hey, wait, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” His voice was affable, making you turn around from the door. You hadn’t meant for your own hesitations to make him guilty, he had done nothing wrong, so you swallowed your nerves.

“It’s not you, I swear, it’s me. I shouldn’t be thinking this way-” A faint warmth flushed beneath your skin as his breath hitched, there were only so many ways he could’ve interpreted those words.

The part of you that cleaned the pews every Sunday wished he’d drop it and let you walk out, but the part of you beneath the covers of disgrace screamed. His voice dropped an octave, “What were you thinking about? I definitely don’t think it was about some horny dude from the 1500’s.” You stifle a laugh as you stare at your shoes, focusing on your white socks, “Touch.”

The words were barely audible, but they rang in Eddie’s head like a holy hymn. He gazed at your demure demeanor, soft colored pastel against the blacks and reds across his walls.

The air was awkward, “It makes you feel guilty, doesn’t it?” He asked, you nodded and while he rarely found himself feeling sorry for someone who ‘fit in’, he felt bad. Everyone knew you as a preacher's daughter and it was ironic that the same community who looked upon her for perfection, complaining when it lacked, was the same group that wanted him out of Hawkins.

A community of people who were supposed to embrace differences met one of their own with the same judgment as an outcast, when there shouldn’t be anyone left out to begin with.

The people he surrounded himself with were experienced with vulgarity, leaving him at a loss for words at someone virtuous, “You don’t have to feel bad, ya know? It’s natural.” The words made you look up and sit on the edge of the bed, “You should do what you want to, especially if it doesn’t harm anyone else. You don’t have to please everyone all the time.”

“I want to please myself.” Blurting the words right in his face, it was too late to take them back in. While the pleasing was different in context, he immediately knew what you meant, still a bit astonished at your brassiness.

“And that’s fine! I started jerking it at 12.” Smiling as you sheepishly grinned, running a hand through your hair. You bit your lip in concentration, unsure of what conclusion you were attempting to reach as you slipped off your shoes, he looked cautiously. “I don’t know how to, really, how do you do it?”

All the air left his stomach as he attempted to calm his mind from the erection threatening to crest. He leaned against his bed frame with a pillow in his lap, just in case.

He looked down, softly chuckling, “Well, the way I do it is different from yours, if you didn’t go to sex ed.” You rolled your eyes, insisting you knew the difference between body autonomy, resting against the opposing side of his bed. “Alright, alright, I get it you passed biology. So you know what a clit is?”

He expected more apprehension at his forwardness, but you nodded, “Well that’s usually the best case scenario, there's a shitload of nerves there. Try rubbing it, keep a good pace, and, uh, reach down further to help make it, hm, more wet?” Questioning his own explanation, he tried to think of anything but you. He could see the interest in your features, like he was uncovering a mystery no one had heard of, which in your case was true, “Can I try?”

While you stuttered the words, he froze, making your heart race faster. He nodded, awaiting you to pull back and leave, pretending it never happened. But he watches your sparkling nails dip under your dress, feet planting to make your knees bent. He could see your white panties, a small wet patch in front of your cunt, forcing a groan down his throat. Your hand disappeared under the material, tentatively dipping into your neediness to drag it up to your clit. Your breath got caught as you applied subtle pressure.

As your eyes fluttered shut, a gentle moan left your glossed mouth, “That’s it. Try speeding up a bit, might help.” He was unsure if he was supposed to be coaching, but you obeyed instantly, watching your fingers trapped beneath material.

Playing with his lip, trying to dissociate the lust beneath him. He felt a bit perverted witnessing this moment, a woman discovering herself, despite it being your idea.

“Eddie.” The whimper fell naturally, but your eyes flew open and your hand pulled away. He saw your fingers glisten, “I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“Do it again, please.” His gaze never left your slick hands as they trailed back to your underwear, working at a faster speed. He gripped the blue pillow upon his lap, knowing he was growing harder at your following whimper of his name.

Your breath matched the pattern of the circles on your nerves as you whined, avoiding his name in shame, followed by a shutter. You had been hit with your climax, continuing until it stung. He wished he could suck your hands clean, dying to know how you tasted like on both sets of lips.

Your eyes fluttered open, hazy as you smiled, “Oh, that’s much more fun than Shakespeare.”

—-------

Eddie wasn’t sure how the days following were supposed to happen, but it seems like nothing had even happened. You came over to his trailer, studied Venus and Adonis thoroughly and whatever classes he was struggling with, and you would leave. There was no mention of your discovery on his worn mattress, just the erotic words leaving your character. The only difference is you two became friends, finding time to talk and listen to music after finishing your work.

When you would leave, he would go back to that first night in his bed, imagining more of you exposed. His thoughts were consumed by you, causing a mild hindrance on his extracurriculars like Hellfire and Corroded Coffin. For the first time, his grades were doing well, he was even accused of cheating that was contradicted by taking the test in front of the teacher alone.

He was so enamored by you, that it made him strive to please you, to see that soft smile. He was like a puppy, running up to you after the halls were empty to cheer over a C. You were always supportive, hugging him tightly where he could smell your vanilla perfume.

As you sat across from him on his bed, opening the worn book as usual, reaching the point where Adonis’ horse had run away with a fellow horse. This leaves him stranded as Venus begs for his affection, an argument ensues, causing her to faint.

“They see sex differently,” You had started to explicitly say what the two characters were inferring, “While Venus interprets Adonis beauty as his peak for procreation, Adonis believes he needs more time to develop himself. It makes you question at what age is sex scandolous or normal.The only difference is that Adonis is being pressured by Venus, in some ways tricked by her, which based on other depictions of her is odd.”

He nodded as you explained, focusing on your furrowed brows, “But that is seemingly what Shakespeare wanted, to flip the typical ways of the Greek gods. Most stories of the gods are women being pestered. Venus would, typically, never beg for a man.”

Eddie nods, too focused on you to really give the dissection too much thought. He knew you would want an answer nonetheless, “So Venus is a weirdo and Adonis doesn’t want her, but gets worried when he thinks she died?”

“Exactly. She faints, he kisses her so she wakes up, she begs him to visit tomorrow. He doesn’t want to, though, he wants to hunt a wild boar. She gets a vision of him being murdered by the boar. That’s where we’re at.”

Nodding through your recap, he watches your neck that is exposed due to your ponytail. Your skin looks soft, veins slightly prodding when you turn your head, he wishes he could kiss you. He couldn’t stop thinking about you.

“Shit, so this boar is gonna kill him?” His eyes widened, looking down at the pages.

“Yup,” Popping the ‘P’ at the end, “But we have to listen to Venus first.” He groans, thumping his head against the wall. He played up the dramatics, despite being infatuated with your soothing voice.

Letting him begin the narrator's monologues, he watched through his peripherals as you laid on your back, placing your legs over his. He was glad you weren’t afraid to get comfortable anymore.

The scenes continued, becoming less suggestive and more dramatic. Your mind had focused on Eddie’s hands, resting on your calf, thumb stroking in slight circles. You remembered when you pleasured yourself, wishing he were the one to do it, just as he caressed you now. Biting your lip in concentration, you hadn’t realized it was your turn to read.

Curiosity did have a hold over him as he watched you, “What are you thinking about?”

Feeling a bit sheepish, you twisted to find comfort, “You’re thinking about it again.” He didn’t even need to question it after giving it a moment, knowing the same face you had those few days ago was here again.

Why was he so accustomed to your face of need, it was becoming sad that your lack of control was so apparent. You did agree to his statement silently, picking off your nail polish with nervous energy, but his warm hand covered yours. “It’s nothing to feel bad about, if it makes you feel better, I’m a horny deviant.”

Eddie was the only boy you felt comfortable around, you didn’t have to put on an act, which was ironic since a lot of your time together was spent reading a play. But you weren’t playing a perfect young woman with him.

“Can you teach me how to make a man feel happy?” Despite your timid question, it felt so eroitc as you sat up, face meere inches from his, legs still over his.

“I mean, a brand new guitar makes me horny.” Teasing as you groaned, shoving your face against his shoulder.

“Alright, alright, what do you want to know?” Damn, what didn’t you want to know.

“There’s a boy, I want to learn how to pleasure him.” His heart sank a bit, unsure who you were even speaking of, but he agreed. He may be a practice run, but it was better to experience you for a few moments, than not at all.

“Well, there’s a few ways. What do you want to do?” You looked at him, eyes wide and kind as you shifted to sit on him. Straddling his thighs, you placed your hands on his belt.

“Is this okay?” You questioned quietly, he nodded, breathing deep as you undid his pants. Rubbing his growing bulge over his black boxers, “Do you want to feel good too?” He asked, placing his hands tentatively on your hips.

Mouth hanging open slightly, you nodded, but he put a finger under your chin to close your lips. “You’ll catch flies.”

He pulled you in closer, shoving his jeans to his mid thighs to give you more comfort as he rocked you back and forth against him. Sighing in relief, you placed your hands on his shoulders, looking down at your lap where your dress blocked your vision. You felt him growing harder underneath you.

He could feel you becoming wet through your thin panties, he thought about how easy he could fuck you like this, make you feel like you were both falling apart. You let out soft whimpers against his throat, the feeling of pleasuring yourself was still foreign, but you liked when Eddie would groan under you.

“Am I doing it right?” You whimpered as he gulped, nodding and accidentally flicking his hips up, causing you to squeal. “Shit, sorry.” Laughing as he watched you regained your tempo, smiling against him.

“Tell me how you feel?” Eddie asked, helping you steady your hips with his hands as you began to shake. You cried out at the feeling between your legs, tingling and warm, and the feeling of his cock through his boxers. “C’mon, tell me.”

“It feels good, really good.” Was all you could muster, fingers pressing deeper against his skin as you tried to withhold the bubbling emotions. You were becoming desperate in his lap, throwing away any inhibitions as you leaned your hands against his thighs behind you.

Rolling your hips against his, he choked out a moan, “Oh fuck” He was losing his composure as you threw your head to the side, eyes shut in bliss, “You’re doing so good, gonna make me come.”

“Please” You weren’t sure why you wanted him to come so bad, but you made it your mission with the little information you did know. You noticed how his mouth fell open when you pressed harder, having to remind yourself this started because you wanted to pleasure a partner.

With a few more forceful thrusts, he was coming and gripping your hips harsher than before. He rubbed up against you, cursing out with a groan. Lying limp against the wall, you leaned close to him until he opened his eyes.

He hadn’t come in his pants since he was a young teen, but you had just done it to him. Even worse is he would do it a million times over with you. His eyes were glossy as you placed a finger beneath his chin, pushing it up to close his mouth.

“You’ll catch flies.”

—----

“So, who’s the guy?”

You choked on a breath as you read the script, nearing the end of Venus and Adonis, “It’s Adonis, it hasn’t changed-”

“No, I mean the guy you said you were interested in and went on a date with yesterday?” Eddie asked, looking at you in your usual spot at the tail end of his bed. You were wearing a white sundress, looking more angelic than normal.

He recalled two weeks ago when you had made him come in his pants, your motive being that you wanted to learn to please a man. You felt a tad guilty knowing the guy you wanted was Eddie.

He had become your closest friend in the weeks you spent at his trailer, finding honest feelings towards him. Whenever you made friends with boys, there was usually a hidden motive by the older people at church, especially as you got older. You were 18, a few months away from graduation, and while you were unsure of your path, there were people planning it. Your family had begun discussing the idea of pairing you with another church family, The Marsh’s.

Their 21 year old son, Gregory Marsh, was in insurance, a devout member of the church and community. He was tall, hair cut short, but not quite shaved. He always had a clean face, smelling of aftershave and cologne. He was handsome, always dressing in work pants and a button up, like a real adult.

You had known Gregory since you were babies, you didn’t think of him in any special way, nowhere near how you felt with Eddie. No one made you feel how he did. But as your adulthood outside high school pended, you were expected to go steady with someone, and either go to college or become a stay at home wife to get the babies made and tended to.

You went out for ice cream with him after work and it was nice. He was kind, handsome, and even a bit funny. But it didn’t feel the same as when you were with Eddie, where everything felt so natural. You hadn’t even kissed Gregory, opting for a side hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Wishing you could just tell Eddie that every thought that passed in your mind was of him, you swallowed your pride, “Uh, Gregory Marsh. My parents want to set me up with him.”

He gulped, he had grown accustomed to the you outside his trailer and the you within. He knew you probably didn’t feel that strongly about Gregory, based on your body language that slouched and the nervous tick of playing with your nails.

Despite this, he nodded understandingly, “Cool. Let’s get into it.” Picking up at Adonis' monologue in an attempt to leave Venus, Eddie stood up to stretch and remained planted as he began.

“You will fall again Into your idle over-handled theme. The kiss I gave you is bestowed in vain, And all in vain you strive against the stream, For, by this black-faced night, desire’s foul nurse, Your treatise makes me like you worse and worse.” Shakespeare wrote of Adonis, but the words from the man before you stung. You wondered if he regretted the moments you shared.

Venus spends the night weeping after Adonis flees, a sick feeling of abandonment taunting your stomach at the thought of this coming true for you. While you two hadn’t kissed, you had both seen each other orgasm inside clothes. When Venus sleeps, she wakes to beg for his safety so you stand to recite it in front of him.

“O thou clear god and patron of all light, From whom each lamp and shining star doth borrow The beauteous influence that makes him bright, There lives a son that sucked an earthly mother May lend thee light, as thou dost lend to other.” Eddie wanted to snicker at the line about breastfeeding, but looked to see you before him. He was still caught off guard by your gentle nature, like for moments he would forget.

As they read, wandering around the room, eyes glued to the pages as Venus runs to find Adonis. She approaches to find him dead, while you both had known it was coming, the words felt weighted in real time.

“Since thou art dead, lo, here I prophesy” The text began, “Sorrow on love hereafter shall attend; It shall be waited on with jealousy, Find sweet beginning but unsavory end, Ne’er settled equally, but high or low, That all love’s pleasure shall not match his woe.”

With the words of unwavering affection leaving your lips, Eddie’s eyes met just inches away. The words were honest, you weren’t sure there was any emotion close to this. He tried to snap out of his trance, but only found himself approaching.

He tucked hair behind your ear, “Can we talk about my favorite scene?” You agreed, breath subsiding as his fingers trailed against your neck. He was so close to you.

“Graze on my lips, and if those hills be dry, Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.”

The way he quoted the centuries old text made you believe he lived and breathed it. He was rarely serious, but he was now. Your eyes fluttered shut as his lips brushed against yours to focus on the other side of your neck, wishing he would just kiss you.

“Stray lower.” He mumbled, hovering his hands over your hips while making an invisible path against your throat with his mouth. His lips didn’t pucker despite the want to.

“Stray lower.” You responded meekly, his hand going down to push the hem of your dress up. He walked you back to his bed, letting you fall against it as he knelt before you. You rested on your elbows, peering down at him as he kept eye contact and they only departed when he pulled your panties down.

“Fuck me.” He mumbled, swiping his thumb against your folds that were becoming slick. You shivered at the foreign feeling, trying to focus on anything, but the fact Eddie was on his knees for you.

You weren’t even entirely sure what he was going to do as he spread your legs further, groaning. He began rubbing your clit in small circles, testing the waters to hear you gasp. He watched as your pussy fluttered, becoming more soaked with every stroke.

“How does it feel?” Eddie asked, watching as you attempted to make eye contact only to look away with a pleasant sigh. “Good.” You stuttered as he slipped a finger inside you, clenching at the sudden intrusion.

“Did he touch you like this?” He questioned, skimming the sensitive area inside of you. You shook your head, whimpering as he placed another finger in. His thumb left your clit as his mouth immediately attached itself causing you to choke on your own breath.

“N-No ones touched me, I haven’t even kissed anyone.” He snickered against your clit, sending vibrations in your body while flushing with embarrassment. “You let me spread your legs before your first kiss? You’re gonna kill me.”

You whined as the feeling became more intense, a slight throb in your lower half as Eddie continued to please you. He felt you beginning to tense and sped his pace, glancing up to your blissed face.

He couldn’t stomach the thought of anyone seeing you like this. He had never had a real girlfriend, but he had never felt this urge to protect, even with one night stands. He wanted you all to himself.

“Shit.” Your voice cried quietly as you rode out your climax, trembling with sensitivity. Eddie’s face rose, a surprised, yet happy, expression as he straddled you on the bed. He made sure to hover over your hips, but looked down at you, out stretching his arms as far as they could go.

“You just cursed! I made you come and curse!” He laughed, tilting his head back, knowing he was making you even more flustered. “I, Eddie the Banished, made the holy one curse. That’s it! The skys gonna fall, the floods and the droughts are coming. Didn’t know the end of the world would feel this great.”

You giggled at his rambling, covering your face with your elbow as he finished his rant. He pulled it away, face close to yours as he grinned, expecting himself to tease you once more. But the grin slowly fell as you stared at each other.

He wanted to kiss you more than ever, looking fucked out and needy. He thought he was going to until nerves got the best of him, laying beside you on his bed. Your breathing was still deep as you shut your eyes, trying to regain composure.

“So…” He trailed off, leaning against his elbow to look at you open your eyes, “Did I corrupt your mind with the art of cunnilingus.”

“Is that the only big word you know?” You teased, his eyes rolling with a smirk, “I know more, but I like to space them out, wins over the ladies.”

You laid there, looking up at the ceiling as he rested, perched beside you. The free hand played with the ends of your hair sprawled on his pillow, you could barely feel it.

“Do you like George?” He questioned, his face hard to read as he focused on the strands between his fingers. You froze for a moment, “He’s nice, he’ll make my parents happy.”

“Okayyy, but do you like him?” He repeated, looking down at your face, but you looked the other way. You remained silent, you didn’t want to answer. For him it was a simple question, but for you? There was a calculation behind it, it didn’t just involve your personal feelings, but everyone else's.

“You know who I like? Adonis, let’s finish, we’re almost done.” You rose from the bed, crawling over Eddie’s legs to grab your book that had fallen on the bed. He huffed, “Let’s get this shit over with.”

As you attempted to stand, you felt like a baby deer, squeaking as your legs gave out. You were able to balance yourself before falling, flattening your dress while Eddie just sat with a satisfied smirk at your state.

—-

“In her light chariot quickly is conveyed, Holding their course to Paphos, where their queen Means to immure herself and not be seen.”

The final words of Shakespeare’s first work left your mouth, the silence hanging as Venus retreated in pain and Adonis laid dead. You shut the book, walking to your bag to shove it in as Eddie stood in the corner, one hand on his hip as he observed the final page.

“So that’s it.” He shut the book, tossing it on his bed. He knew he needed help with other classes, but he also knew he was doing significantly better after your help. He kind of wished he wasn’t so involved so that you could stay for more days.

“Yeah.” You announced, turning on your heels to face him, lips pursed to a straight line.

“It was good.” He stuttered, licking his lips nervously. He regretted that instantly as he still could faintly taste you from an hour before, sucking in a sharp breath.

“Yeah, it’s more fun to read with a friend. Maybe we could read the next play together?” You suggested, seeing his eyes light up as a grin snuck onto his face. Before you could even realize what was happening, his arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you into the air and spinning.

“I have a friend, I have a friend.” He sang as you laughed, folding over his shoulder, “And you’re about to not have one!” You yelped, using your spare hand to smack his lower back.

“Hey, hey! You can’t tell me shit, I won you over, admit it. Eddie the fuckin’ Banished conquered the holy daughter.” He gloated, voice deeper in false dramatics. You fake gasped as he set you down, radiating joy from his features.

“You didn’t conquer shit!” You smacked a hand over your own mouth, both sets of eyes going wide as Eddie jumped amused. He put a pointed finger in your face, “Yes, I did! You’re cursing like a sailor!”

“No! If anything, I conquered Eddie the Banished because he is now passing his classes.” You crossed your arms, puffing up your chest as you looked him up and down. He squeezed his lips together, looking up as if in thought before lunging, tickling your sides.

Squealing and attempting to push him away, he finally stopped and bolted for his living room. When you ran after him, he stood with both hands up in protection, as if he were in a karate stance. You held your fists up, jumping back and forth like in fighting movies.

“Not to brag, Eddie the Banished, but I was forced to see Rocky twice by my dad. I’m not afraid of a fight.” This was a lie as Eddie had once watched you cry when he accidentally stepped on a lizard on the way home from school.

You both walked around the small coffee table, eyes glued to each other with eyebrows raised until he ran back to his bedroom, slamming his door.

“Eddie!” Slamming fists against his door, his back pressed on the other side to keep it shut.

“La la, can’t hear you! Don’t want to get beat up by Miss Rocky out there.” He strained his voice loudly, covering his ears with his fingers. You pretended to walk away, marching in place and letting them fall quiet. He timidly opened the door to you pushing through, falling right into his chest, pushing past him to give you space.

A strand of hair stuck to your lip gloss as you cheered, pulling it away, “I did it, I did it!”

Eddie placed the back of his palm against his forehead, grabbing his chest with the other before falling in a melodramatic fashion. He moved both hands to fake a sword going into his abdomen, back arching before arms flailed to his side.

“She got me, it’s over, all that reading for nothing.” He breathlessly whispered, closing his eyes, sticking his tongue out to the side. You got a random drum stick from his dresser counter, poking his stomach as he howled, pulling it towards him to take you to the floor with him.

“Eddie the Banished has the last laugh,” You draped a hand over your forehead as he had, “Miss Rocky is dead by drumstick persuasion.” He clutched you to his chest and rolled over, going dead weight as you whined his name.

“Nope, you’re dead, sorry.” He muffled against his floor, head over your shoulder. You hated the fact that his stupidity was leaving you craving more, his hair right near your nose where you could smell his shampoo.

“Your hair smells like the beach.” You hummed, he popped up with a mix of bewilderment and delightment, sitting up next to you.

“You talk a lot for a dead person, ya know?” He quipped, trying to ignore your sweet comment in favor of your usual banter.

“I resurrected myself.” You shrugged, lifting your back from his stiff floor.

“Uh, no, can’t do that.”

“Well I just did, so.” You stated flatly, standing up and grabbing your bag that had fallen off during your brawl, only halting when you felt arms grabbing your leg.

“You wouldn’t leave me here to rot, would you?” He gave you his best puppy eyes, which wasn’t hard as they looked so soft normally. You found your favorite color within his iris’.

“You killed me!” You exclaimed, attempting to shake him off as he looked offended.

“It was pure self defense, sweetheart, can’t be running up on a dungeon master like that.” He explained, standing up to look at your astonished face.

“You’re not very good at being a dungeon master then…” You exaggerated, his face falling while his eyes squinted, shaking his head. Although it was all in good spirits, his glance made you want to squirm, he had such a hold of you.

“Oh you’ll regret that.” He taunted, raising his hands to sweep against your sides again, but only jolting towards you to see you run to his living room once more. He clapped, pumping his fists with victory as you meekly waved.

“Bye Eddie.” You beamed, turning to walk out his door as he said his goodbye, following your typical route.

His heart continued to race as he stood in silence, peaking out his window shades to see you walking. He teared himself away, walking back to his bed to flop on top of his covers, smiling at the thought of the next assignment.

------

hi! using my tag list from late bloomer, let me know if you would like to be removed or added! :) feedback is also always appreciated.

@masterofmunson @downbythebay4 @wicked-wordy-witchy-witch @femalefilmaker @wiltedwonderland @yourthebrokengirl @jessyballet @iheartyouyou @gloryekaterina @missscarlettangel @variety-fangirl @wigglywoos59 @imsuchafriggensimp @thegirlblogstuff @lovelyladymayyy

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my-castles-crumbling · 23 hours

Note

Soooo, i’ve been following u for a while (adore ur microfics btw ❤️) and now I require advice… thankfully you’re good at that.

So i’m straight. And i’ve fallen in love with this guy. He’s adorable and sweet and brave and honestly the best person I know. I met him about a month and a half ago at a work thing (he doesn’t work where I work tho, not that it matters) and we’ve been dating ever since.

We haven’t done anything sex related yet (don’t worry this isn’t abt that). But the other day I decided we should talk about it, because he seemed super bothered by the idea (i had a hunch he might’ve been ace, which I was fine with) but it turns out it’s not that, he’s trans.

He told me he transitioned pretty young, and that he’s had top surgery but not bottom. I reassured him this doesn’t change anything, cause it doesn’t, but to be honest, i’ve never really been around trans people? I know queer people but i’ve never had a trans friend or anything. So i’m worried about how to do this right.

I assume it’s best to just be normal? Sex has never really mattered to me that much, so I guess in that regard i’ll just go with the flow of whatever. But I just thought, is there anything I should know or think about?

I think this could be a really great relationship, we want the same things and get on so well.

Maybe i’m being panicky, trying to make sure I don’t do anything that could hurt him. He asked me if it was okay that he’s trans because i’m straight. I told him that I love him and I don’t doubt that. And that I still feel straight. I still love a man. I wouldn’t really aline my sexuality with genitals anyway?

I don’t know. I’m nervous I guess. I’ve been in plenty of different types of relationships. Good and bad. And I just don’t want to mess up or make him uncomfortable or not notice a hint he’s trying to give me?

Look tbh I don’t totally know what i’m asking but like- advice? Please? Thanks Cas ❤️

AHHHH I think this is so cute. The fact that you're being thoughtful enough to ask is UGH. SO sweet.

So, you're ABSOLUTELY right. Sexuality has to do with gender, not body parts. So you're a girl (I'm assuming) and you're straight. Meaning you're attracted to boys. And this person, trans or not, is a boy. Simple! The fact that he is worried about your reaction is probably because he's experienced transphobia in the past. For this, just remind him that you see him as a boy, regardless of his body parts.

Trans people can deal with something called 'dysphoria' meaning they are uncomfortable (physically or mentally) because they feel like their expression or body doesn't match the gender they identify as. Dysphoria can be caused by anything - looking in the mirror and seeing something they don't like, a comment from someone else (even unintentional), or intimacy (amongst other things).

As far as sex, I'm going to break my rules here and give you some advice because I think it's important.

Sex could cause dysphoria. It's super important to note that every trans person is different. Some experience extreme dysphoria, others just a bit, others none at all! The same thing is true with intimacy- every trans person (just like cis people) has different preferences with intimacy. But this is especially true because for some trans people, intimacy could cause dysphoria because you're interacting with body parts that are normally not as...interacted with, lol.

Because of this, its super important to communicate. Ask him what he's comfortable with. What does he/doesn't he want you to touch? If you're going to use dirty talk, does he prefer certain terms for his body parts?

But here's the thing- communication is important for good, healthy sex anyways. And for a healthy relationship. And it's much better to just ask. Asking questions isn't wrong, and it shows that you don't want to make him uncomfortable. It could also be a great idea to make it clear what you've said to me- you see him as a boy, you don’t want to mess up or make him uncomfortable or not notice a hint he’s trying to give you.

Keep the communication open and everything will be fine <3

I'm going to name you adoring anon in case you write again!

#ask #asks #ask cas #adoring anon

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alexiskk · 1 year

Note

Hiii‼️‼️ I M SO GLAD THAT TLOU TICKLE COMMUNITY IS GETTING BIGGER🫶🫶 and I have a few fics ab tlou myself so if you wanna check it or what you are free to go, but I have a few tickle ideas for Ellie and Joel because I LOVE THEM

Soo

1. Ellie is trying to get Joel laughing but it can be reversed into a tickle fight

2. Joel is just messing with Ellie when teaching her how to play a guitar

3. Tickle fight between Tommy and Joel (brotherly moment) (and Ellie could just saw it and join😭😭)

omg I literally want to do all of these(and i probably will at some point) they are so good but i have to do #3 I have the best little drabble in my head! hope u enjoy🫶 srry it’s rough, i wrote this in one night and i got a bit carried away lol

also go check out @potatohater their fics are big slay ! ! !

Brotherly Love

“there is no way im helping you with the truck”

“quit throwing such a fit ya stubborn asshole” Joel smiled and shoved into his brother’s shoulder as he scooted his way over in the kitchen to the lukewarm pot of coffee.

Joel was in quiet the good mood today. A few days ago on a patrol around Jackson, he found himself upon a bright red 2003 Ford-F150. Well, he assumed it was bright red in its glory days, as by now it had accumulated a dull rusty exterior followed by a coat of moss that had begun creeping up off the tires and onto the rest of the car. But he didn’t seem to care, as all he saw was an opportunity in front of him. While Jackson provided Ellie and him with a sense of comfort, he selfishly missed the days of traveling across the states together, and he could sense that restless energy in Ellie as well. Even if they were short trips, he wanted something back that he felt like he was missing since they had settled. Yes, Ellie relying on him scared him, but it also seemed to give him a sense of purpose he just couldn’t quite find here.

“Joel, i-i got the kid this weekend, Maria’s on patrol and in meetings an-”

“you are such a bad liar little brother” Joel looked up from his mug as he sipped and gave Tommy a sly smile.

“I already talked to her this mornin’. Said you’d be just fineee helpin’ out.” Joel smirked and leaned up against the counter behind him. “Said it’d keep you outta trouble”

Tommy shot Joel a side eye and shook his head as he let out a sigh

“Talk about trouble, what the hell do you think your gonna do with that truck Joel”

“Mmm so you are gonna help me now huh?”

“There is no way in hell, but if I were, I’d want to make sure you don’t kill yourself once it’s all done with” Tommy’s eyes searched the counter that Joel was leaned up against as he spoke.

“This can’t be just for joyrides Joel, where the hell is it you’re wantin’ to go?”

“You gotta shake on it first”

Tommy shot another look at Joel as he remembered where what he was looking for was.

“Look, I’m just saying messin with that truck in any regard is a stupid fuckin idea I mea-EAN-!” Tommy was suddenly cut off while he opened the overhead cabinet diagonal to Joel’s head to grab a pan for his morning eggs. Out of nowhere, Joel jabbed his fingers into Tommy’s side, almost as if it was a reflex. Tommy entire body jolted accompanied by a concealed squeal that he tried to play off by clearing his throat, but it seemed to be too late for him, as the stare Joel was sending him was already telling him everything he needed to know.

The two brothers stared at each other in silence, both quite shocked to what transpired seconds before. After the jab Tommy had jumped back about a foot, but he was still in close enough territory to remain nervous about his big brother’s next move.

Joel had his eyebrows slightly raised with slightly squinted eyes, but he held a straight face and a calm demeanor, even still, you could hear that hint of smirk behind every word.

“Hey Tommy, would you come here for a second?”

Tommy’s face looked angry, but was almost ghost white with fear at the same time, like he knew what could happen at any second.

“Don’t you dare Joel”

“Awh don’t be so shy baby brother”

In a whorl-wind, Joel leap over at Tommy, hands outstretched like bear claws towards his torso. In a spontaneous yet, extremely strategic move, Joel wrapped his hands around Tommy’s sides and squeezed. Tommy’s once escape plan of sprinting away crumbled in front of him as he felt himself crumble with a grunt under Joel’s grasp, and in a swift move Joel has knocked him off his feet and pinned him beneath him on the kitchen floor. From here Tommy began to struggle below his older brother, and as his feet slipped against the hardwood floor a familiar helpless feeling began to fade back in.

“Just like ol’ times eh Tom?”

“You old fucker get off of mEHEHA-”

Tommy felt his dignity slip from his grasp as his brother enormous hands shook around his ribcage. There was little time between the stifling spurts of laughter to full on childlike giggles pouring out of Tommy’s mouth, and Joel was eating up every minute of it. He pretended like he wasn’t paying attention as his little brother was bouncing below him, fit to be tied with his own laughter, but there was a recognizable smile that crept onto Joel’s face wether he liked it or not. There seemed to be little to none of these nostalgic brotherly moments for them these days, so for Joel to catch him like this was music to his ears.

“I’m sorry what’s that Tommy? somethin about helpin me with the truck?” Joel chuckled as he pretended to yell over Tommy’s laughing fits as he switched to digging his knuckles into his brothers sides.

“ YOUHUO DUHUMB SOSHAHN OF A BIHIHTCH I’LL KIHIILL YOHAHA”

“Mmm yeah you definitely seem to be in a position to do that brother.” Joel smirked, he was having way too much fun with this.

Tommy was continuously trying to push against Joel’s hands digging away at his sides, when Joel saw an opportunity to snake his hands up underneath Tommy’s arms where he realized Tommy’s laughter could reach a new octave.

“JEHEHAHSUS JOEHEL MERMHECY”

Tommy’s head was thrown back and arms clamped to his sides as he sucumbed to the torture joel was dealing him. His laughter was on the verge of silence and he couldn’t beli-

“What the fuck joel are you trying to kill him?”

Between all the commotion, neither brother had bothered to notice a shocked Ellie waltz downstairs, most probably woken up from all the ruckus they were causing. Both brothers turned to look at her, Joel stopped his assault but did not get up, while Tommy was merely attempting to catch his breath.

“Uhhh he owes me a favor El.” Joel replied with a smirk on his face, yet slightly embarrassed from Ellie witnessing the encounter.

“Uh-huh” Ellie replied, still in shock to see the brothers this affectionate.

“H-He’s a fuckin’ liar E-Ellie don’t fall f-for it” Tommy sputtered out, still trying to recover.

Joel shot him a dirty look, but a smile began to creep on to his face, one that terrified Tommy.

“Hey kid, care to help?”

Immediately Tommy’s chorus of no’s directed at Ellie filled the room followed by a desperate “you gotta help me El” only to be followed up with muffled chatter as one of Joel’s hands covered his mouth.

Ellie took a few seconds to realize what she was getting herself into, after all not every morning at the Millers presented an opportunity like this, but she knew what she had to do.

“Want me to get his knees?” She asked almost too excitedly, causing Tommy to groan beneath Joel.

“Smart kid”

Joel gesture her over and she placed her knees on either side of Tommy’s shins.

“Ready El?”

“Sure am”

Tommy’s pleas continued, growing in volume the closer Joes hands got. But, as soon as Joel reached his arms forward into Tommy’s sides, Ellie saw the opportunity she needed. She shot her hands forward right underneath Joel’s arms and squeezed like there was no tomorrow. She felt the confusion in Joel’s body, first tightness and then resistance, and for a scary second she thought he might not b-

“E-ELHEHIE NOHOHO DOHONT-”

Joel’s entire body began fighting the ticklish sensation pulsating through his body, curving and arching his back in anyway he could to shake the little rascal off. He had completely forgotten his attack on Tommy, giving his little brother the opportunity to help out with the onslaught but wrapping his hands around Joel’s hipbones, and from there Joel was done for.

With attacks coming from both sides his body seemed to be in sensory overload, as he didn’t even notice Tommy slip out from underneath him, where he then pushed him to his side, and pinned him down himself, never ceasing the rhythm of jabs into his hips. Ellie at this point was able to let Tommy take over, well until-

“Hey Ellie, get his knees!”

“DOHONT YOUHU DAHAHRE ELLEEHEIE”

Joel was continuously trying to compose himself, but as Tommy moved his attack up his older brothers sides, the electrical ticklish shocks he felt throughout his body caused any gruff, strength, and pride he had in his tough demeanor to slowly fade away.

“Gladly”

Ellie’s smile was as big as Joel’s at this point, she had never seen the man who protected her across the US from infected, cannibals, and everything else in between, giggle, at least never like this. She couldn’t help but join in herself as she positioned herself so familiarly over Joel’s shins.

Tommy paused for a brief second as Joel was too incapacitated by exhaustion to back any kinds of counter attack.

“Do right above the kneecaps, he’ll love that”

“Oooo your gonna get it motherfucker” Ellie smiled and positioned her hands.

“N-Now if y-you asshats do-HOHONT KNOHAHCKAHAHA-”

There was not even a second for Joel to keep his cool as Tommy dove his hands into each space within his ribcage accompanied by the rapid squeezing provided by Ellie, this was full on torture for the man.

“Nothin but a bit of brotherly love eh Joel?”

“SHUHUAHAUT IHIT TOHAHAHMOHMY”

“Awh quit throwing such a fit ya stubborn asshole”

Even as his own words were used against him, Joel couldn’t fight the joyful snickers and uncontrollable laughter that seems to bubble out of him, for a a strong as he is he felt everything leave him under the touch of the two smiling bafoons that held him down.

“Joel you’re such an asshole for never mentioning this, you made me use the joke book to make you laugh?” Ellie smiled and joined in on the tease, as she was now squeezed to the rhythm of an old song she used to have on tape.

Joel had no response to the teenagers quip as he held is head in his palm in his own fit of giggles, surprising even Tommy at this point.

“Alright alright, we probably shouldn’t kill the old man” Tommy let up on his brother, patting his shoulder as he stood up.

“U-uh we might not have killed him but he looks pretty fucking broken. This isn’t the Joel I ever remember” Ellie had gotten up at this point and was now squatted next to Joel, holding the sides of his head at his temples. His eyes were closed as he was attempting to regain himself but the constant sputter of laughter would seep out through his nose or mouth, almost as though there were residual tickles all on and around him.

This by far was the most relaxed Joel’s felt in years, his brain had completely let go and although he would never admit it, he would probably say that brotherly love did him more good than a rusty old truck ever could. Instead, he finally regained his breath after a few more out-spurts and turned his smile into one of his disapproving frowns as he opened his eyes and looked up at Ellie and Tommy.

“If either of you ever do that again, so help me god I will break your godamn jaws”

“Awh just say you liked it motherfucker”

#tlou #so many typos oops #tlou tickle #tickle fic #lee!tommy #lee!joel #ler!tommy #ler!joel #ler!ellie #the last of us #tlou fluff #tlou tickle fic #writing drought is over bby

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imabitchforjemcarstairs · 4 months

Note

I'm assuming (again pls correct me if i'm wrong! :D<3) that ur fav shadowhunter character is Jem!

Would you mind indulging me as to why u love him and his character arc throughout the series? 😊

I am finally attacking this question. I took some time answering it because I wanted to give it justice. Now, bear in mind, that it’s been a while since my last read of TID/GotSM, and I forgot a lot about the series. I will try to give my best answer (and probably come back to this when I will do my huge reread of the whole series before TWP).

First, I want to clarify that Jem is one of my favourite characters in the series, but not the only one. I could write the same about Will and Tessa. Like, I’m a real herongraystairs trash and the main reason why I continue with the series. I don’t know why, but they stuck with me. I think it’s assumed that Jem is my only fav because of my username, but no, the username was a joke that stuck, and I don’t mind, because I am his bitch, and it made CC giggle when I told her, and according to her, aren’t we all😭

Now, before going to the essay, I would like to say contrary to a lot of the fandom (who like Jem or dislike him), I do not think we have a lot of him. I think he is the most present character, yet, we still know so little of him.

Hear me out, he is the only protagonist with zero POV, in his series, (we got Cecy’s POV in CP2, and she arrived in the epilogue of book 2). Even in GotSM, which is supposed to be a book about Zachariah, and his mission to find the lost Herondale, he still gets sidelined to follow the stories of other characters (Matthew, Anna, Tessa, Celine, Jace, Alec, Livvy and Janus). Zachariah is used as a vehicle to tell us about the other characters' stories, and sometimes we get a glimpse of what he thinks and feels. I would argue that the only real story where we dive into his head, and get to know him is Learn About Loss. Add to the fact that in TID we only see him through the eyes of Will and Tessa, yeah, he’s the character with the most cameos with Magnus, yet what do we know about Jem, other than he is the 3rd person in a love triangle, Will’s parabatai, and Tessa’s second love interest, AND that he is the kindest, selfless character in the series? Practically nothing.

Like I said above, in TID, we only see him through the eyes of Will and Tessa, who literally see him as this perfect, angelic person. Tessa because she arrives at the institute after 6 weeks of torture, and is in need of kindness and friendship, and eventually falls in love with him. And then we have Will, who sees Jem as his opposite, everything that is pure and kind, and everything that he is not. And because of the inevitable death of Jem and his curse, this bond is what keeps him alive, and he will cherish it like hell (one day I will write an essay on the terms and conditions Will put on his “curse” when he was a kid). So yeah, we have a series written through two protagonists, who see the third as this precious thing, that needs the utmost protection against the world, but also against themselves; see Tessa once she arrived, she started talking about finding cures and defending him against Will, in CP1:

- “You should,” Tessa said softly, “think about the way the things you do affect Jem.”

Will rolled his head back against the leather of the chair and regarded her. He looked drowsy and tired and beautiful. He could have been some Pre-Raphaelite Apollo. “Is this a serious conversation now, Tess?” His voice still held humor but was edged, like a gold blade edged in razored steel.

Tessa came and sat down in the armchair across from his. “Aren’t you worried that he’s cross with you? He’s your parabatai. And he’s Jem. He’s never cross.

“Perhaps it’s better that he’s cross with me,” said Will. “So much saintlike patience cannot be good for anyone.”

“Do not mock him.” Tessa’s tone was sharp.

“Nothing is beyond mockery, Tess.”

“Jem is. He has always been good to you. He is nothing but goodness. That he hit you last night, that only shows how capable you are of driving even saints to madness.”

“Jem hit me?” Will, fingering his cheek, looked amazed. “I must confess, I remember very little of last night. Only that the two of you woke me, though I very much wanted to stay asleep. I remember Jem shouting at me, and you holding me. I knew it was you. You always smell of lavender.”

Tessa ignored this. “Well, Jem hit you. And you deserved it.” […]

“No, you don’t,” Tessa cried in frustration. “Do you think he cares about the danger? Do you? His whole life has been destroyed by this drug, this yin fen, and there you go off to a warlock den and drug yourself up as if it doesn’t even matter, as if it’s just a game to you. He has to take this foul stuff every day just so he can live, but in the meantime, it’s killing him. He hates to be dependent on it. He can’t even bring himself to buy it; he has you do that.” Will made a sound of protest, but Tessa held up a hand. “And then you swan down to Whitechapel and throw your money at the people who make these drugs and addict other people to them, as if it were some sort of holiday on the Continent for you. What were you thinking?”

“But it had nothing to do with Jem at all—”

“You didn’t think about him,” said Tessa. “But perhaps you should have. Don’t you understand he thinks you made a mockery out of what’s killing him? And you’re supposed to be his brother.”

Will had whitened. “He can’t think that”

“ He does,” she said. “He understands you don’t care what other people think about you. But I believe he always expected you’d care what he thought. What he felt.”

That is just an example, but the whole series is like that when it comes to Jem. Them defending him to each other when they fuck up, or defending him against the world, because for them he is that almost angelic person. And that’s cool and all, but what about him as a person? As a whole entity, and not an addition to the other two. (but then I read TLH, and TDA, and I think CC does not know/or doesn’t want to write the three separated from each other, but that is for another discussion, because these three always come in a package deal, and can’t be separated, I guess)

Now, that this is out in the clear, let’s get to the question, why is he one of fav characters? Well, for everything we don’t see, and know about him. And from the little we can get of him in the books. The minimum info on him is so freaking interesting, it just pushes us to read between the lines and do a lot of character study, (academic style) to get to his head.

Even though the surface-level reading of the character is that he is very kind, empathic, helpful and selfless. Now, that’s normal because Jem is a very discreet character, and in contrast, we have Will, who is very loud, very look at me (because of his curse). At some point, Tessa observes that Jem is like the owner of a very annoying dog. So, in a way, on a first read, he is kind of overshadowed by funny/clown Will. However, the man is funny as hell:

- “Jem gave her a wistful look. “Must you go? I was rather hoping you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go, you must.”

“I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.”

“None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against the pillow.

“How rude. Many who have gazed upon me have compared the experience to gazing at the radiance of the sun.”

Jem still had his eyes closed. “If they mean it gives you a headache, they aren’t wrong.”

- “A demonic worm,” said Jem, pausing to peer cautiously around a hedgerow. “A great serpent. Would that help your inappropriate humor?”

He is also very eloquent when he wants to be (see Lily in GotSM), in his proposal, his apology to Tessa in CP2, him comforting Charlotte in CP2, etc…

And we also see his flaws, in the series, but there is no emphasis on them. His selfishness. Now, I know, he is a teenage boy, who knows that he is dying, but in that scene in CP2 when he threw Yin Fen in the fire, with no regard for the other members of his family, and how they do not want to lose him. We can also read that he is a very scared person. One because of the trauma he went through, but also because he will not live for a long time. Ex: his rushed engagement to Tessa.

This leads to one flaw we rarely talk about when it comes to Jem, which is his insecurities. His insecurity over his body, hell, even in After the Bridge, which is 100 years later, he was still insecure about his scared body. His insecurity about not being enough to Tessa, and that she deserves the best like his crazy consumption of Yin Fen to be perfect for her in CP2.

And all of this could have been explored if we had his POV. It would have added depth to his character. In TID, he is a teenage boy who is trying to survive in a country so far from his own. I would have loved to see his feelings over his trauma. I mean he saw his parents die, was tortured, and is still being tortured by what is keeping him alive. I would have loved to see his feelings about being in a way abandoned by his family (Elias) in a foreign country. Being alone at twelve, with no support system. Navigating his new life as a child, the mental and physical toll of having to take the Yin Fen in order to survive, but also how it will eventually kill him. The mental toll of believing and defending his only best friend who was fucking it big during that time, (same for Will, and how mentally draining it must have been to know your only best friend is dying as a child, especially after witnessing the death of his sister but that is for another post). I wanted to see his insecurities regarding his body, in contrast with the body of Will, especially because they are living in a very able-body culture, and how being a Shadowhunter is all they have, and their noble cause. I wanted to see his feelings of how limited he is physically compared to the other Shadowhunters of his age, and how he felt about the critics and remarks the other said about him. And when he was engaged, his feelings about not living for a long time with Tessa, and only giving her little.

And later in GotSM, I wanted to see how he felt about his life as a silent brother, and how he was cheated of his death. How he was present in the life of his loved ones, yet not very. I wanted to know how he felt when Elias said that he did not want him to be part of his family.

Anyway, this is getting too long. But, yeah, my love for Jem is for all that is not written, and what we can deduct from the multiple rereads of the series. I will probably come back to this post when I reread everything, and add stuff to it.

#ouuf this is long #about #jem carstairs #feel free to add stuff #tsc #ask #emmalovesfitzloved

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kaladinkholins · 2 months

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Hi! What do you think about the usage of time in Blue Eye Samurai? And do you think Mizu is closer to 20 towards the ending of s1?

Hi there!

Hmm... This is an interesting question, and one I find a little difficult to answer if I'm being honest. "Usage of time" is kind of broad, and I'm afraid I'm not too sure of what you're asking, so I don't know if I can give a comprehensive response. But! I will try.

Time as a narrative device in the show is honestly something I haven't thought much of. Overall the story is quite linear, and the flashbacks are also rather linear.

The most notable usage of flashbacks is of course in The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride. The way it juxtaposes past and present, making us believe past Mizu is the Bride and present Mizu is the Ronin, only for both past and present Mizu to converge into the Onryo—it's masterful storytelling, and it's no wonder most viewers (including myself) consider Episode 5 to be the best in the season.

Also, now that I recall, the first episode of the show actually starts off by framing the whole story as a "legend of a swordsman, of a sword, of revenge." You could interpret this as the story being related to an audience by an unknown invisible narrator, which might come into play at the very end of series, or it could just be a stylistic choice, which is my personal take on it.

On the other hand, time as it unfolds in the present day makes more sense the less you think about it, and I say this mostly in a nitpicky CinemaSins type way (sorry) whereby the time it takes to travel from one place to another seems incredibly fast, rather than spanning days or weeks, considering Mizu mostly travels by foot. The time it takes for Mizu (and Taigen) to recover from their wounds is twice as fast. But again, these are details that are quite irrelevant to the story itself, and I just like to hand-wave them away by saying that the show follows video game logic in many regards, and the passing of time is one of them.

On a slight tangent though, while I'm on the subject of the show stretching the bounds of what's realistic or accurate, I'd also like to point out that the show seemingly takes place in an alternate timeline from our own, or at least just a completely fictionalised version of history. I say this because the Shogun im the show is from the Itoh clan, which is in fact a real clan (more commonly spelled as Itō) that ruled the Obi-han during the Edo period. However, they were not the ruling clan of the shogunate as they are in the show. Rather, the shogunate was led by the Tokugawa clan, who ruled Edo between 1603 to 1868. So! Yeah. Thought it'd be an interesting fact to mention.

Now, for the second half of your question, I actually think Mizu is a little older than 20.

I doubt that the show will give us a concrete answer to this, so this is all speculation, but hear me out. Japan closed its borders in 1633. The Great Fire of Edo takes place in the spring of 1657. In present day (assuming early 1657), Heiji Shindo and Fowler mention that they've known each other for 20 years, which could possibly allude to Fowler being in Japan for 20 years, or their partnership lasting 20 years. I took it to mean the latter, which means that Fowler must've been in Japan for at least 24 years. This gives us the maximum plausible age limit for Mizu. She cannot be any older than 24.

She also cannot be any younger than 19. This is because the character sheets tell us that she starts to look like herself as we see her today, at age 19. We can thus infer that this is the age when she first leaves Master Eiji's house (during winter), reunites with Mama (in the spring), and marries Mikio. Her marriage with Mikio, iirc, lasts less than a year, spanning from spring to autumn.

We can then roughly assume she's about 20 when she leaves the farm behind and resumes her revenge quest. Between then and the present, Mizu kills Violet. Assuming this gap of time is about a year long, that means Mizu is roughly 21 upon meeting Ringo in Ep1. So it's possible that at the end of the season she's either 21, or nearing 22, depending on if the season begins in early 1657, around January or February (the year of the Great Fire), or around December of 1656, the previous year. Personally, because I like my blorbos on the older end, I like to interpret her as the latter.

So yeah! I hope I answered your question anon, even if a little bit. These are fun little exercises for me to work my noggin, so I appreciate the ask! <3

#letters.doc #blue eye samurai #anon #i hope we get more flashbacks in future seasons #of mizu killing violet for one. but also of akemi and ringo #i dont think taigen flashbacks are *that* necessary because we know quite a lot about him #and akemi holds more weight in the narrative and should thus be given priority #ringo flashbacks would be amazing tho we hardly know anything about him and his past!!!! i love ringo sm

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feekins · 9 months

Text

here are my thoughts and things and whatever translation weirdness I find as I re-read ch 3 of Trigun Maximum vol 6!

(NOTE: I'm reading the Dark Horse [physical] and the Overhaul [online] translations side-by-side)

(Dark Horse on left, Overhaul on right)

another example of how nuanced the Overhaul's translation is =u=

so these translation discrepancies alter my perspective of this bit. Dark Horse's unspecified "you" (which I always interpreted as something more general, so similar in meaning to "all of you") VS the Overhaul's "you, Crimsonnail"...and the differences between the "All the obstacles" speech bubbles has me all 🤨...and again, the nuance in the Overhaul's translation gives emphasis in places and hsrhfjxh idk, words hard. OVERHAUL GOOD.

also, I love the little bit of visual/narrative trickery with Legato mentioning (in the next panel) how the Eye of Michael's sending these guys, "Double Fang" and "Trip of Death"...

...and then showing us these two - and bc they aren't named yet, the impulse (at least for me) is to assume they are, in fact, these "Double Fang" and "Trip of Death" fellas!

the Overhaul's specific usage of "disciples" clearly connects this old man's group to "the church of plant worshippers" Legato mentions a few pages later - so they're not, like...just a bunch of rando Knives stans? which is what I get from Dark Horse's translation.

...I just noticed the middle panel. see those spikey dealies some of these dudes have on them? they've got my anthropologist brain working. I wonder if spikes like that are...idk, visual call-backs to Knives' knife-y abilities...perhaps regarded as religious symbolism the same way Christians might regard a crown of thorns... 🤔

also, to me, Dark Horse's translation implies that Knives deliberately ignores this group of devotees - which definitely sounds in-character for him. the Overhaul's usage of "yet" could be taken to mean the same thing - OR perhaps Knives isn't aware of all the different groups (denominations?) of the church of plant worshippers and he doesn't care. that also tracks.

(Dark Horse on top, Overhaul on bottom)

nuanced Overhaul translation yaaaaay 🎉

oh, and right after this panel, Legato says in Dark Horse's translation "Rumor has it...these two are the best in the bunch" and, in the Overhaul's translation "The two on their way here...are said to be the best in the world." at this point, those two fellas on the motorcycle are still unnamed, and so it's still reasonable to assume Legato's talking about them...UNTIL...

...yeah, idk why Dark Horse leaves out their names here. even more baffling, though...

...is how Dark Horse fking omits Ogre starting to say "Double Fang" and alters the shape of the speech bubble on the next page.

I just rly like these panels of Elendira reapplying her lipstick 💕

...yeah, Dark Horse's translation here has always confused tf out of me. Overhaul to the rescue!!!

#trigunbookclub #text postan 2k23

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pain-in-the-butler · 11 months

Note

Have you ever considered what a meeting of Alois would've been like with the current Dadbastian development? The anime and the 2nd season were both pretty bad in terms of uncomfortable fanservice and handling things very disrespectfully, but thinking back on Alois' character now as an adult, I really pity him as a clearly traumatised and intensely disturbed child, who through abuse has, much like Ciel, developed more 'adult behaviour' that is not appropriate for his age as a defence mechanism. It's probably thinking a bit too optimistically for Dadbastian to extend concern for those outside of his immediate phantomfam, but would you think that maybe, just maybe, Alois could trigger the same kind of protective urges as Ciel? Alternatively, if you were to write something similar to Coattails but instead for Alois and co, do you have any headcanons on how you'd otherwise depict their relationship? Dad Claude? Dlaude??? Thank u for indulging my whimsical ass & sorry for the wordvomit

Hi, anon! As a fellow whimsical ass, I'll do my best to answer your question. Boy, okay, lots to consider here...

First off, I'm not entirely sure what you mean by the phrase "current Dadbastian development", but I'm going to assume you're referring to what's happening in Coattails because I don't think there's been any Dadbastian development in the manga that I've missed.

Second off, our feelings on Alois are the same. I was nineteen when season 2 came out and I didn't like it at all, I found its handling of certain themes pretty deplorable and I mean. It was a mess. At the time, I felt indifferent to disturbed by Alois, and ultimately just went away pretending the whole season never happened. However, the current fandom has made me realize that Alois is a character with a lot of potential who was definitely in the wrong hands. It's very sweet to me how many fans still care for him as if he were their adopted son and have come out with some extremely creative and realized content of him. It gives me a better appreciation for him and what he could have been.

So now to actually attempt your question. Again, assuming you're asking about Coattails, Sebastian is only really interested in being a parent to Ciel and a caretaker of varying degrees to the rest of the Phantomfam members. I think he would be able to feel sympathy for Alois's situation, but he's no bleeding heart. I'm not really sure what the scenario is here where somehow Alois and Sebastian are getting to know each other and also Alois might want Sebastian to help him over another person already in his life? It's a little difficult to answer...

And if it was in regards to canon Seb, well... yeah, he's pretty disinterested in anyone that doesn't directly benefit or threaten his contract. I don't think he would do anything to make Alois's life better.

While I hate canon Claude, I certainly think fan content can utilize him as a father figure if they made some tweaks to his character. My bud Em has explored that in this fanfic that I enjoy, and I think she's probably a better judge of Dad-Claude than I could ever be (she might even write a longer story about it someday!). Sort of going off her example, I would keep Claude's awkward/stiff personality intact and get rid of his bad-touch vibes (obviously). Unlike Coattails Sebastian, who is accustomed to big emotions but is new to love specifically, I don't think Coattails Claude would be used to feeling anything outside of his own control. He's also not very playful so he would probably have to learn to let go of things and I just realized I'm describing Bambi's dad's journey in Bambi II so god fucking dammit I did it again—

tl;dr there are so many people who can answer this question better than I just did but uhhhh I hope this was okay 💁‍♀️

#long post #Coattails #hghgh #dadbastian #ask

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featherlouise · 1 year

Note

So what happens after Hollow attacks their father? How do their parents deal with it? How are they treated afterwards?

Also, is the whole vessel plan discarded? What does PK do about Radiance? Also, how would other people who were involved or knew about the plan (like the dreamers or five great knights) react to this turn of events?

Sorry for all the questions djdbfn I love your AU 🥺👉👈

Pls don't apologize for asking questions !!!

I love gushing about my characters/ AUs lmao

Okok so I'm gonna try my best to answer all ur qs

(also u are under no obligation to read all of this, it turned out a lot longer than I expected :D)

1. Basically, after the attack (I'm assuming u mean after Hollow stabs themself but if not I'd be happy to talk about the actual confrontation lol) there's a lot of panic regarding whether Hollow's going to survive or not, so there's not really any time to properly process the whole "holy fuck the thing I thought was a bastardisation of the corpse of my child is actually just my child," so it's only after Hollow's been stabilised that I can imagine PK and WL sitting down and coming to terms with it.

The infection REALLY does a number on u, both mind and body, so Hollow's basically just snoozing in some sort of (dreamless) healing coma while their parents have a breakdown at their bedside. I imagine PK and WL's relationship to have been pretty strained since the vessel plan was enacted, like they still love each other but they can't really seem to agree on anything anymore.

Ditching the vessel plan is the first thing they've wholly agreed on in 17 years.

2. So! Immediately after they wake up, I think there'd be a lot of overcompensation on WL's part. She was never a mother to Hollow and she feels IMMENSELY guilty about that fact, so she'd probably start trying to be super motherly to them, giving them food, being affectionate, trying to start conversations, etc, which freaks Hollow tf out bc it's a COMPLETE 180 to how she interacted with them before. Before the reveal, she was super detached, kind of like she is towards Ghost in the game, mostly in an attempt to remove herself from the entire situation?? Like if she doesn't acknowledge them she can't get lost in her grief?? Cuz I imagine she genuinely believed that the void had sucked out her child's soul and was piloting around their corpse (or something of the like) and then there's the GUILT of the whole situation, KNOWING that you had a part to play in the death of so many of your children, that you were complicit to something so cruel?? I don't think she'd be able to truly face it, so she basically just let herself ignore them. And the most she ever really saw of them was when they were sent to guard her gardens and Hornet dragged them from their post.

So. Now she's seizing the opportunity to finally get to know her child, but she's also not really taking their feelings into account on top of ignoring the very real trauma that Hollow has from being treated like a glorified roomba their entire life. Her main coping strategy seems to be to just. Ignore her problems lmao (she like me fr fr)

3. SO. Pk. Whooo boy.

At this point, I don't think he'd realise that Hollow was never hollow, bc then he'd have to face the possibility that none of the vessels were hollow, and if that's the case, how many of his children has he killed?? He knows a fair few of the vessels were stillborn, but how many hatched and died at the bottom of the abyss, cold and alone and scared??

(Yes the vessels hatched, yes this is a gijinka au where most people are born like humans. Higher beings are weird and also non human, moving on)

So PK at this point believes that at some point while growing up, Hollow had an idea instilled and,, gained consciousness?? Ig?? And he likely blames himself bc of course he does.

With PK there's a lot of guilt there, which I think would mostly lead to complete avoidance, bc "surely my child doesn't want to see me after how I've treated them, I'd better give them space,"

Meanwhile Hollow is wondering whether their fears truly have come true and their father does hate them for not being pure.

Just. A lot of miscommunication.

When they finally talk it out, there WILL be tears.

4. The Dreamers!!

With Herrah, I think she'd be a pretty big support for Hollow during their recovery. I don't think Herrah was ever truly convinced that Hollow was pure?? Like she witnessed a lot of small moments between them and her daughter while they thought nobody was looking, along with subtle mannerisms that just. Wouldn't be there if they were pure.

Like, Hornet once roped them into playing hide and seek with her, and as smart as her baby is, the Pure Vessel, were they completely hollow, would only be able to act when given orders, and there's no way a 5 year old managed to give complex enough orders for them to be able to follow. She probably just yelled at them to play with her and they did lmao (bc they can't say no to their bby sister duh)

Herrah was also on the outside, so there was no reason for her to go into denial or detach herself the way Hollow's parents did, so she'd be much more likely to notice them shifting on their feet, their ear flicking when they tune into a nearby conversation, the way they'd lean into any and all contact with other people, how reluctant they are to let Hornet down when she no longer wants to be carried by them, etc etc.

Herrah may be titled the Beast, but she's not stupid. However, at this point, she's seen them spar with the Knights, she knows that they would be able to escape unnoticed if they wanted to, they're definitely skilled enough. So that means that if they end up being sealed inside the temple, it's their decision, and she respects them for that.

She also notices how reverently they treat their little sister, so if nothing else, they can bond over their mutual adoration of her.

Herrah's a pretty abrasive woman, loud and unapologetic, so I figure she'd be a nice change to the coddling of their mother, and Herrah ends up promising them a place in deepnest if they ever feel the need to escape the palace.

Herrah's the only dreamer I've really thought about?? And since she was there when the incident happened, she's very present for pretty much the entirety of Hollow's recovery. The other 2 don't really come into it till later, so for now let's just say they're all probably pretty relieved that they don't have to sacrifice themselves anymore lmao.

5. The 5 Great Knights!!

I don't have anything super specific about these guys yet? But I imagine they'd be friendly to Hollow. Hollow looks up to them all quite a lot and they were probably the closest things they had to friends growing up?? But honestly not much really changed there except they start trying to bring them into conversations, and they're always willing to spar if Hollow ever wants to.

6. Finally, RADIANCE!!

So I imagine that after Hollow has stabilised, PK will immediately start trying to distract himself by basically preparing for war. If it wasn't personal before, it definitely is now. The Radiance discovered his child's sentience before anyone else and what's the first thing she does?? Turn them into a weapon to be used against him (slightly hypocritical of u there my guy)

There's probably a lot of feelingsy bullshit that everyone (ESPECIALLY the royal family) needs to work thru before any action can really be made against Radi, so for the most part she's just simmering in the background. Her who was probably bruised when Hollow managed to wrestle control away from her so she's probably licking her wounds in the dream realm, but after a few months, infection rates start to REALLY spike again, because she is PISSED.

I could make PK and Radi duke it out but I kinda wanna lean into Hollow’s empathy?? Like they’re hyper empathetic and I feel like after having Radi in their head for a while they’d come to understand her anger?? Like they still want her gone but they understand that she has every reason to be pissed at PK, at least from her pov. (I’ll get into Hollow’s feelings regarding Radi in a later post bc this is getting ridiculously long now lmao)

So maybe eventually they can come to an agreement with Radi?? I’m not sure on the details but I don’t think I wanna just kill her off.

WOW this was really long, sry if it’s super rambly I’m basically just word vomiting into my notes app lol

And if you’ve read this far, ty!! Glad u love my blorbos as much as I do （＾ν＾）

#early infection au #hollow knight #hollow knight gijinka #thk #pure vessel #hk pv #hk pk #hk white lady #hk herrah #hk radiance #the hollow knight #asks

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winter-sol · 1 year

Text

About the Nightmare system and Summon x10 for UR/+ cards.

Hey there. I've been contemplating if I should make a post about this, since it might not be very relevant in the first place. But considering how things have kinda exploded for the past two days regarding Nightbringer's gameplay and reward system, I've decided to share this little info. The post might be a bit long but I needed to explain what happened to get to the final part.

TL;DR version: Summon x10 most probably doesn't help getting UR/+ cards, it's the same as doing individual summons. And Solmare is not giving the info and details about how it works.

I'll explain how I got to that conclusion:

In the last Nightmare event, "First Step", as the huge Leviathan stan I am, I did everything I could do to get his UR+ card, using all the resources I had and farming like crazy for more DP and DV.

After about 118 pulls, the card never came.

You know, I am aware of how this works and I'm not going to complain in here about luck and all, that's not the point. But, in the final days of my crusade, I made an effort with a friend of mine to try to figure out what's best: Individual x1 summons, or the Summon x10.

I don't think I'm in the wrong by saying most players believe the Summon x10 actually increases your chances to get a valuable card. It does say it guarantees an SSR or higher in the banner.

But I started wondering if that was actually true, how does the Summon x10 work and what does it mean to guarantee an SSR or higher? What are the odds in that system?

So, with my friend, we started doing some calculations.

I need to be clear and say this was made mostly with Leviathan's UR+ in mind because that was my goal, to get that card specifically, but the logic should work for any UR/UR+ in Nightbringer's gacha events if the odds are the same and your goal is pulling those cards specifically.

Basically, if his card (and Diavolo's in that event) had a probability of 1,5% to drop, there was a 98,5% of not getting it, and doing some math I could detail if you want, we compared the chances for doing individual x1 summons ten times, and for doing a Summon x10 (in a system I'll detail a bit lower in here).

Without getting into the details of the calculations, the conclusion was: it's literally the same.

That, if we assume in the best case, that the odds are always 1,5%, be it individual or x10 pull. (other options included: the odds for those cards increase proportionally and that would make the odds for URs actually increase).

But now you might be wondering, why would the card still have that low percentage if, in a Summon x10, we are supposed to get a higher chance of getting valuable cards? After all, that's what most people go for when summoning if they want to increase their chances, right?

And that's exactly the question we had, how exactly are the odds working in there?

We theorized that Summon x10 works like this:

Out of 10 spaces, 9 use a regular pool with the regular odds you can find detailed in the Nightmare banner for every event, and 1 reserved space for a smaller pool of cards (the SSR and UR/+ ones) that has different odds.

The thing is... we don't actually know how it works and what the odds are for that smaller pool, so we tried theorizing like this:

If there's a reserved space for a different pool with different odds, since if needs to increase the chances compared to the regular pool, what exactly are those odds?

For example, in "First Step" there were 15 cards SSR or higher (the twelve regular SSRs + Barbatos SSR + DiaLevi URs). In the regular pool, those cards had a chance of:

Regular SSRs: 0.5%

Event! Barbatos SSR: 3.00%

Event! Diavolo/Leviathan UR+: 1.5%

But in this possible case, where a smaller pool should exist in that one reserved space, we have no idea what those odds are. I tried searching that info in the banner screen and the options menu, but there wasn't anything to be found. So me and my friend did the calculations assuming they worked as in using a SSR+ voucher, which were, if you checked the odds in the banner, the following:

Regular SSRs: 7.5%

Event! Barbatos SSR: 7.00%

Event! Diavolo/Leviathan UR+: 1.5%

Well, we start with the following information some may already now: Using a SSR+ Voucher has absolutely no benefit if you want a UR/+, because it keeps the same odds, and if anything, it only helps getting those SSRs. That should sound obvious because it's called SSR+ Voucher after all, but many people think it actually helps. But hey, that still isn't my main concern.

If we assume that the Summon x10 works like we just theorized, with that one space using the odds from the SSR+ Voucher, then, besides helping you get SSRs, Summon x10 doesn't help you with UR/+ cards. As simple as that.

When I realized it, I was struck with this feeling of foolishness because how did I not think about it before? And I'm sure I wasn't the only one, every new event I see people aiming for URs doing Summon x10.

...But that's not all, right?

Because all of this was only a theory and we don't know for sure how the Summon x10 actually works.

But we can try to find out, right? What's the detail in these odds? What do they mean when they "guarantee" an SSR or higher? (and, if you're careful enough, the details in the "option" menu only talk about guaranteeing at least one SSR, it never mentions the "higher" part).

Aaand this is where I wanted to get in the first place. I tried it. I tried asking Solmare about the details of how Summon x10 works and I first received an automatic response that completely avoided the question. So after insisting and directly asking one more time "In the Summon x10, what are the odds for the SSR or higher cards that are guaranteed?", I received this:

Now that's... That's shady. To say the least.

Why are they hiding the odds of the Summon x10? How does it work and how does it "guarantee" cards?

They could've confirmed the theory of the 9+1 spaces that I just explained (Yes, I wrote a long ass inquiry detailing that when I reached them), but instead they kept quiet?

I seriously don't understand, that information should be available, specially considering people pay to do it. Even if it doesn't work like I theorized, there has to be another way, that was exactly what I requested, without any hate or resentment, I was clear in what information I wanted. But... well.

I leave this information in here because I believe the players, if they hadn't figured this out already, should have this doubt in their minds as well when it comes to strategizing and using their resources. That in fact, we don't have all the information about the Gacha system, in purpose.

If you ask me about what conclusion did I reach with my friend, that is: If I only want the UR/+ of an event, I will only do individual pulls. The last days of that Nightmare event I did individual pulls and got Diavolo twice xD almost two times in a row (Diavolo -> filler card -> Diavolo) and that card had also a 1.5% chance of getting it. (Also, it pops up a new question: how does the random system work if a 1.5% card appears almost immediately one after another? Welp I haven't gotten there)

Of course if you want any card of the event, Summon X10 is a good option, it will certainly guarantee SSRs, but for URs... That's a different story.

So, yeah. That's my contribution from the torture I went through xD and the calculations I did with my friend (funnily, he came to the conclusion this has to be one of the most money grabbing gachas out there). I hadn't tried another method or theory for the odds but if you come up with something you can always complement the info.

If you need more details, feel free to hit the Ask button :3 (of you can even test the math with Chat GPT).

Peace out 👌

#obey me #obey me Nightbringer #obey me nightmare #obey me gacha #technically all this info is public. you can grab it and test it yourself #winter analyzes

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plato-repulsed-culture-is · 5 months

Note

sorry if this is a weird question, but um, a girl i know asked me out. Shes aplatonic but alloromantic and allosexual. I do like her back, but im a bit worried.. ive dated a guy before who didnt have friends and what ended up happening is that i had to support him 100% of the time when something bad happened and i had to be with him after school every day because i was the only person he talked to and he would get lonely otherwise. He even threatened to do bad things to himself if i went to a friend's sleepover because it made him feel bad. Im really worried that something like this would repeat... it lowkey traumatized me i think. Is this a valid concern or are aplatonic people different and they dont really need much emotional support compared to non-aplatonic people? Or was my ex just uniquely an asshole? Thank u so so much if u respond

I am prefacing this with a disclaimer that this blog was never for giving people advice, especially when they view aplatonics with such suspicion and are not actually asking any advice related to plato repulsion which is what this blog is about. I can also only go off of your statements here to draw conclusions, and I am assuming you are stating the truth here (especially as this is online, I know there is a possibility people can lie, but may also be telling the truth.). Also, we are not responsible for anything that happens to you emotionally or otherwise if you make decisions based off of this advice, because thats not within our control.

From what you said, your ex sounds like he was being rather toxic and manipulative towards you. That kind of behaviour is harmful (threatening self harm as a form of control, trying to control who someone spends time with, and not respecting peoples boundaries regarding interaction or emotional support, are all harmful actions.) and nobody should be acting that way towards others, we're sorry that happened to you. You also don't need to be concerned that someone will act this way towards you just bc theyre aplatonic. Your concern is valid, but it is in no way something that will inherently apply to aplatonics.

If you are concerned about whether this person has unmet social needs then you should just ask her about her social needs and emotional needs and what she expects in a relationship, and communicate about your needs and emotions regarding these things too. If its possible to, maybe mention that you have past issues or trauma in relationships which is why you want to be careful about dating, while not making it seem like aplatonicism is inherently a reason you think someone might hurt you(because it's not).

Set boundaries about what amount of time you want to spend with someone you're dating, and state your limits regarding how much you are okay with emotionally supporting someone / what topics you are ok with talking about / etc. . Don't assume that someone will be toxic or abusive towards you just because they're aplatonic. Its not really like your ex was inherently aplatonic just because he didn't have friends, and it may even be more likely he was alloplatonic.

Some aplatonics have and/or want friends but some dont, and moreover, if someone doesnt have friends by choice, that's very different from someone who is lonely because they don't have friends and mistreats a partner because of it. I will also add here that I don't intend to malign mental health issues just because it sounds like your ex may have had them (as you mentioned loneliness - which is different from just being alone or even liking solitude) ; mental health issues do not innately make someone abusive or toxic, and one can have mental health issues and still be respectful to people.

Someone without any mental health issues can also still very much be abusive or toxic towards others. And honestly, if you associate the concept of aplatonicism itself with this trauma then maybe its not in the best interest of you or the other person to date? And if it applies maybe it could be possible that you are simply not ready to date someone again after what happened, which is also okay, but I don't intend to assume that or be harsh in stating it as a possibility. I will also add that not having friends is not a 'red flag'. If someone has a preference to date/ be involved with people who have friends, that's okay, but not having friends is not inherently a 'red flag'.

Some aplatonics may not get lonely if they don't talk to people (but this can also be true of alloplatonics), and just because someone is aplatonic doesnt mean they will expect their partner to support them all the time to an unhealthy level or to an extent that crosses their boundaries. I will also add that there is no surefire way to tell whether someone will be abusive or toxic, although if they cross your boundaries or are disrespectful to you from the start, its worth staying away from them. Even ppl who are very kind to you initially may at some point abuse you or mistreat you, and theres no way to tell for sure whether or not this will happen because thats kind of how social relationships of any kind are.

But don't profile aplatonics as inherently more likely to be abusive or toxic (I don't know if this is intentional on your part, but hearing the word 'aplatonic' and making all these assumptions about how one may be in a relationship wounds like either this and/or like a trauma trigger extending to the concept of aplatonicism). Not all aplatonics even approach social relationships the same way, and even those who don't have friends are still capable of respecting boundaries in relationships they engage in. I wouldn't say that aplatonic people don't have emotional needs, but people in general have varying social needs and emotional needs. Some people who don't want friends may specifically not have a social drive towards having friends, but this may also apply to people who want friends.

If someone is happy without having friends then they probably don't seek emotional or social fulfillment from friendship. They may have other relationship types even if they are aplatonic (such as familial , romantic, sexual, alterous, etc.) (I don't know if you and this girl are monogamous are not but if you are intending to be monogamous that obviously is excluding sexual and/or romantic then) , and I will add that people don't always need social relationships/ bonds for emotional support. Some people may process emotions through journalling, or may go to a therapist, or such.

Some people may have people they talk to sometimes but don't call them their friends. Having friends does not ever guarantee anyone emotional support, and neither does any other relationship. It just so happens that a lot of people end up mutually (i.e. more or less both ppl give the other emotional support, it doesnt have to be equal so much as it is respecting the boundaries of both people. It is also possible that people may be incompatible in this regard) giving emotional support due to just being around people they are close to and also due to having some kind of emotional connection.

Anyways, long answer short, aplatonicism doesn't say anything about someone's social needs or emotional needs, and neither does alloplatonicism, and its often better to communicate with people you are close to or are looking to be close to, about important aspects regarding relationships.

(Also stating here that this is not an advice blog, we will be deleting any asks seeking advice from now on. If you want you can send in asks as reply to this response, as long as you aren't asking for more advice)

Anyways I hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do.

(Additional disclaimer - to anyone who sees this post - do NOT suggest that 'narc abuse' 'borderline abuse' or whatever is real, do not imply mental health issues cause ppl to inherently be abusive, and do not treat having no friends as a 'red flag', regardless of platonic orientation or favorability)

#aplatonic #tw aplphobia #aplphobia #tagging just in case bc idk if it was intentional but the assumptions anon makes seem rather aplphobic #tw manipulation #tw abuse #to trigger warn for mentions of what anons ex did - not sure how else to tw it #asks #advice #I was thinking of deleting this but in case it was genuine I didnt want to like leave it unanswered #I hope it didnt come off too harsh #I was thinking maybe Id need to mention how my relationships w my partners work but I felt that it wasnt very related to this and was too #personal to reveal to someone who I cant even be sure is asking this in good faith mainly bc of how often ppl troll aplatonics and atertiar #the disclaimers are because I dont want this to be used for bigotry #dating #anon asks #not plato repulsed culture

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