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#I will share though that I’m almost done with finals for the semester
octhbroken · 1 year
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“Step on me Daddy Nanook” is the reason he wants to destroy everything, you can’t change my mind. And no, I will not give any more context to this than it is a discord horror joke I made.
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hyuckswoman · 4 months
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“I’m shitting my pants” mark says to his best friend. they were currently standing outside of the music classroom awaiting the final class where they’ll have to present the project each group was working on
“really? you’ve never been one to stress over music class I’m sure you won’t fuck up” haechan replies chewing on the cherry-flavored gum he got handed during his last class
“no dude I’m talking about y/n. seeing her is *sigh* let’s just go okay?” he says to which haechan nods
“don’t worry you won’t have to talk for now” haechan says entering the class. he then proceeded to sit down next to you while mark sat right behind the both of you
“you ready?” hyuck asks turning to you “no? i don’t know? i’m nervous” you reply. playing in front of people was never your thing. you just hoped to pass this class because this class is not worth retaking the semester.
two groups passed and you only got progressively more anxious, people had practiced. they were ready. while you never practiced with both your partners, none of you did. either having alone practicing sessions or some with hyuck. you don’t know if you’re on the same wavelength, you don’t know how you guys will even sound all together. If you were being honest this was partly your fault. your pride and feelings got in the way. But you also knew that no sessions would’ve been productive had you trained with mark. You knew that you would’ve nitpicked every single thing he would do and would make sure that your pettiness and anger could be felt. So either way this couldn’t have been avoided. You just hoped that whatever terrible outcome was about to be unleashed to the rest of the music class, in just about a minute now, would be enough to get a passing grade.
sitting down, plugging your electric guitar, making eye contact with haechan - the subconsciously assigned new leader of the group seeing as though he was the middle ground in between you and mark- waiting for him to give you the go and then you started playing. And exactly 2 minutes and forty four seconds later, haechan mark and you were done performing 200 in front of your class. Immediately looking up at your professor’s face only to see a wide grin and a pleased head nod directed towards mark. Of course. This was a collective grade. you had mark in your group. how could you even for a second worry about getting a passing grade.
sighing out of relief you sat down next to wonyoung who called you over while you were walking towards your original seat “girl, maybe staying in a group with these two wasn’t such a bad idea after all.. you outshined the rest of the class I’m sad for the people going after you” she says “really? you didn’t think it was messy?” you ask. anyone could tell how uncoordinated you guys were. “not really no, sometimes it sounded like a bit.. i don’t know- like you guys haven’t practiced enough? but i assure you it was barely noticeable” she says as you sigh out of relief again “and by the way you and yujin were craaaaazy i got so hyped up” you say complimenting the both of them while they thank you. being so engrossed into the conversation you almost miss haechan calling you over telling you that you need to regain your seat because “professor said so.”
So after briefly nodding at them, you tiptoed around the classroom to sit next to your friend, once again. “ i lied by the way. the teacher didn’t say shit he’s still in his ‘mark haze’. i just wanted you to sit next to me” haechan says as you laugh at his absurdity. man you were going to miss sharing a class with him.
Some time later all the groups had passed and even though he wasn’t allowed to, the teacher assured every student that they had all passed his class. He really wasn’t allowed to say this but the minute mark asked he told the class. You weren’t complaining tho. Maybe you even understood him a little.
Getting out of the classroom after the teacher dismissed you, you felt yourself engulfed in a hug “are you less stressed out now? I know you worried about getting a passing grade but we did it!!!” haechan said while letting go of you “yea dude! I’m lowkey glad this is over.. I’ll miss sharing a class with you tho” you say back “should we go out to celebrate?” you hear mark say. For a second you genuinely forgot he was there. In your defense, he was standing on the side not making any noise so he was fairly easy to forget about.
You could feel his awkwardness radiating off of him and almost felt bad. In truth you forgave him a long time ago (that’s kind of a lie). You understood how whatever mental headspace he was in was turning him into an asshole and as the patient lenient girl you were, you couldn’t pretend to not understand. But you still decided to milk the anger because you knew you were patient (especially with mark). The way he spoke to you does not deserve your understanding. He needed to practically beg on his knees for you to even crack a smile at him. And you were making sure he understood that.
“I think I’m good actually! you guys go ahead tho” you reply. “cmonnnn, it won’t be fun without you, do you know how long it has been since the three of us hung out together?” haechan says grabbing the sleeve of your shirt throwing himself onto you “i wonder why it’s been so long” you say in a fake pensive state that made haechan laugh and mark scratch the back of his neck out of uneasiness. “well don’t involve me in your business, I didn’t do shit and I just want to hang out with my two friends.. I don’t see why I need to suffer the consequences of this” haechan says slightly laughing “oh right because you texting me about it repeatedly was not you being involved in said business?”you reply “touché. still tho, please?” haechan says (he then proceeds to threaten you, then almost gets on his knees to beg, so you agree)
after what felt like the most awkward lunch ever you guys stepped out of the restaurant in silence. not for long tho….cause yk….haechan. “I’ll get going guys, have fun” haechan says aggresively winking at mark trying to be discreet. you could see the whole thing but whatever. “I’ll get going too. bye!!” you say and before you could even turn around to leave haechan desperately yelled “NO- wait. i mean. mark wanted to say something i think” hyuck says still winking at mark but now pointing to the both of you with his chin trying to convey a message to mark that he seemingly did not get
“huh?? oh OH! yes i was gonna ask if we could talk?” mark asks you “nah, im good. bye!!” you say turning around and walking away soon after you heard someone run after you and grab your arm “wait. look, I know what he did was shitty and I know he doesn’t deserve your understanding but please hear him out? Like you guys were so close before don’t you think the friendship is worth salvaging?” haechan says still holding onto your arm “hyuck i sigh i don’t know okay? would it not be pathetic of me to hear him out when he shut me down so harshly last time i tried to communicate?” you ask. no matter how much you liked the man you needed to set standards up for yourself, you deserved respect. How are people meant to respect you if you don’t respect yourself? “i get that. truly. but please hear him out? you literally won’t ever have to face him afterwards” hyuck says while you nod and walk back to where mark was standing.
“should we go to my place to talk?” you say. you weren’t going to have this conversation in public that is for sure “my place is right there. it would save us the walk i guess but we can also go to yours if you prefer” mark says to which you shake your head telling him his place was fine.
Entering mark’s studio for the first time, the place really suited him. From the few art piece he used to decorate his wall to his keyboard in the corner of his room right next to his messy desk and even messier bed, hell even the dishes were mark coded.
“man I’m sorry, I forgot i hadn’t cleaned…. we should’ve gone to your place this is not how you visiting my studio for the first time was supposed to go” he says and you shake your head. he guided you to his small couch in his living room. as you sat down you saw in the corner of the room this pretty bouquet of lilies, man what bitch did he have over?? you knew damn well mark doesn’t buy flowers for himself so those were a gift. You guessed it wasn’t from any of his friends because they would never. These had to be from yunjin. The moment you realized it, you swore you built up a little more resentment.
“I’m sorry.” mark says handing you a glass of water; he was gonna go straight into it i guess. “i know. you’ve been saying that for the past week. I’m just here because I want to know why” you reply. “I- okay fine. I owe it to you, just, please don’t make fun of me okay?” mark says fidgeting with his fingers as you nod. “Things were going really great and I really enjoyed spending time with you and getting to know you and texting you and stuff and so because i liked you- too much I think, I had this huge slap of reality in the face like man okay this is going great but you’re going to fuck it up and then she’ll find you weird and never talk to you ever again and then you’ll be miserable because you’re such a loser. So it became a lot and I got anxious and I was like ‘I’m not gonna fuck it up if I speak less’ and that speaking less… well… it turned into me ghosting you. Then I realized and I felt guilty but I couldn’t just talk to you normally after ghosting you for days and then you sent me the texts and I was so frustrated at myself so I took it out on you. And i felt bad like I knew what I was doing was wrong but I was just in too deep and then donghyuck texted me and I was also mean but anyway. I’m not trying to make excuses for myself I just want to explain everything to you. I’m really really sorry tho” mark says not having enough courage to look at you.
“you like me?” you say. You admit everything he said after was kind of a blur “no i mean yea but I ugh I didn’t want to tell you like this or at all man I’m so sorry I’m so stupid” mark replies clearly frustrated. “ you can’t do this to me mark” you reply “I know I’m sorry I didn’t mean for it to come out I’m sorry” he says “this is fucked man, you flirt with me, ghost me and all of that because you like me??” you say to mark as he nods you burst out laughing. mark is very confused tho. “I feel…so conflicted right now man I can’t tell if I want to kiss you or punch you in the face. Was it not obvious I liked you?? If you liked me that bad couldn’t you have just confessed?? man you had me stressed for weeks im” you say laughing because what the fuck man
“you like me?” mark asks “yes. man I’ve been liking you for so long this is so ridiculous.. I used to have a hallway crush on you that’s why I stared at you during the first music class… and then when we became closer I started liking you… like deadass. when you replied to chenle ‘ew’ I wanted to kill myself” you say as mark gasps “THAT’S WHY?? I genuinely believed your lie woah.. also man I wanted to kill chenle because shut up like mind your business don’t air mine out on twitter like this” mark replies laughing. “what about yunjin tho?” you ask “what about her?” he says. “well isn’t there some sort of thing going on between you and her?? the bouquet right there screams everything but platonic” you reply “what?? no I don’t like her I like you. matter of fact the bouquet is for you I was going to give it to you after music class but pussied out and left it home before since I wasn’t sure if you hated me or not” mark says getting up to fetch the bouquet for you. “oh. thanks. they’re really pretty. They’re my favorite flowers did you know?? Also I can’t believe you like me.. that’s crazy. I’m still pissed at you lowkey” you say. “Yea we talked about it when you gave me my bouquet.. also you really didn’t know? I mean who do you think 200 is about? I thought you would get it” he says laughing. you hit him (not harshly of course) because how dare he imply that you’re slow??
“despite you being mad at me… will you let me be your boyfriend? I’ll beg if I have to” mark asks “i guess… you’ll have to do some serious groveling tho… I don’t want my friends to know I forgave you so easily” you reply “man you’re harsh.. I guess?? be a little more enthusiastic you have a boyfriend now. also yea your friends are scary, especially renjun I got so startled like… this is not the renjun I met” your boyfriend says laughing. “I’M HARSH???? sorry I didn’t want to jump up and down, i already know I’m dramatic don’t want to hear it again” you reply to which mark says touché.
“Can I kiss you?” your boyfriend asks “of course you’d be a dork about it” you reply laughing at him. he quickly shut you up. You were partly shocked because one, you were kissing the man you’re extremely down bad for and two, you didn’t think he had it in him to shut you up with a kiss. Feeling his smile against your lips he pulled away “didn’t think I’d do that did you?” he asked. you didn’t have the words so you shook your head no. What the fuck happened to dorcus lee? And before you could remove his hand that had been grabbing your chin, mark leaned in again to steal another kiss. you swore you felt lightheaded. Not enough to let him away with it tho. So you put each one of your arms around his shoulders, leaned closer and deepened the kiss.
And maybe, just maybe you guys ended up kissing for a while afterward….only maybe though!!
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51. it's over
previous chapter masterlist bonus chapter 1
notes: guys... this is officially the end of an era... I'm literally so sad to see it go I'll miss uploading sooooooo much. I want to sincerely thank everyone who took the time to read this story and even more if you took the time to interact with it. I hope the end is satisfactory enough for you guys and I hope that you enjoyed the ride as much as I did. Thank you again, this has been nothing but fun!! I'll miss down bad very much! happy read!!!!!!
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writingsfromhome · 2 years
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Three’s Company
A/N: I tried to balance some angst with fluff, hope I did it right lol. You’re dating Harry’s best friend but you and Harry are also best friends. Until he confesses a secret. I think this one got long but I wrote it quickly so don’t mind any mistakes. hope everyone enjoys it! Happy holidays :) <3
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“Me and my boys,” I wrap one arm around my boyfriend Frank and the other around my best mate, Harry. “I’m so glad you guys showed tonight!”
“Wouldn’t miss it,” Harry squeezes my hand on his shoulder.
“I’m so proud of you,” Frank pulls me away from Harry into his arms. He plants a very wet kiss on me. “You’ve worked so hard these last few months.”
“I know,” I take my boyfriend’s face in my hands. “Thanks for supporting me.”
“Ahem,” Harry clears his throat. “I was also up at 2am helping you practice lines.”
“Of course,” I plant a kiss on Harry cheeks. “Couldn’t have done it without either of your support.”
I link my hand through Frank’s and we continue the trek to the pub. It was opening day for the musical I was apart of and it was the first major production. Everytime I caught my face on a tube poster, advertising the show, I couldn’t help the giddy rush of warmth that filled me. It was always my dream to be on stage and I finally had it.
“So this girl you’re seeing,” Frank addresses Harry who is walking a few steps ahead on his phone. “You serious about her?”
“Think so,” Harry says. My heart flutters at the thought of him finally settling down, not because I was jealous but the last time he got serious with a girl was a year ago. Even though by then Frank and I had been going steady for 4 years she hadn’t liked our relationship and ended it with him when he wouldn’t cut me off. I didn’t want that to happen to him again.
“Good for you,” Frank says. We share a glance, having had many concerned conversations about Harry’s love life. Even though we were only in our mid-20s, Harry never quite got serious about a girl. We just wanted to see him happy.
Harry’s girlfriend meets us at the pub, she couldn’t come to the show because she had a shift which she tells me when we meet her. Harry had already told me this but I think it’s endearing how much she cares, she tells me she’ll go to the next one Harry shows up for.
“I like her,” I tell Harry later.
“That’s because she’s flattering you,” Harry says as he gets the both of them drinks. “You’re so easy to win over.”
“You’re just jealous we’re getting along,” I tease but he rolls his eyes at me and goes back to the table. I get drinks for Frank and I since he was deep in conversation with someone he knew.
“How long have you two been going out for?” I ask the couple. “Harry only mentioned you a couple weeks ago.”
“Really?” Natalie looks up at Harry.
“Not like that,” Harry flicks my shoulder. “I just didn’t want them sticking their nose in my business. Her and Frank love to interrogate me about my love life.”
“Only cuz we care,” I shrug.
“We started dating April so…almost 2 months?” Nat answers. My jaw drops.
“2 months Harry? And you never said anything?!”
“It’s my life!”
“I tell you everything!”
“I never ask,” Harry shakes his head and turns to Nat. “She’s an oversharer.”
She laughs, “Speaking of sharing remind me how you all met? Harry only said you all met in uni.”
“Harry sucks at stories,” I lean in closer to her so I don’t have to shout so loud. I tell her how Harry and I had met at a school-sponsored concert. We recognized each other from a few classes. We started hanging out a lot to study and party. How he had introduced me to Frank a couple weeks after we met and we hit it off. It took us another semester of circling each other and Harry playing the third wheel for us to finally get together. Frank and I have been together since and Harry has been our best mate since too.
“That’s so sweet,” she squeezes his arm. “You’ll be their best mate at their wedding, godfather to their child, third-wheel for life?”
“Harry looks a bit pale at that,” I joke but he did look paler. “Don’t worry, Frank will still come over to play video games.”
Nat and I laugh and Harry joins but it sounds forced. He was such a weirdo.
“We always say three’s company when it comes to us, right Harry?” I reference the slogan we came up for ourselves. “We won’t forget about Harry when we tie the knot!”
Frank joins us, interrupting anything Harry would’ve said. We all get to knowing each other. I really like Natalie, and Frank tells me later at home that he got a good feeling about her too. It’s unfortunate when a month or so later Harry tells us they broke up.
What comes as the biggest shock is a couple months after that, on an oddly sunny day in October Frank tells me he wanted to break up. Right before my last few weeks. He doesn’t even wait for my run to be over. And just like that, 5.5 years vanish in front of my eyes.
The cherry on top is when Harry stops talking to me as much, starts making excuses for why he can’t hang out. Even though we were mates before Frank and I got together, he seems to have chosen sides. Those weeks feel like my own personal horror movie. I’m a zombie in my day-to-day and when I go on stage I use up every ounce of energy and emotion I have to make my last performances count. But it tears a hole right through me.
The week after Frank and I breakup I bump into Harry near his work. Well, I actually purposely made an appointment close to where he worked in hopes of seeing him.
“H!” I call out when I spot his side profile on the same sidewalk as me. “Harry!”
He does a double take and then halts, people around him grumbling as they walk around. I pull him to the side and give him a big hug. I try not to let it hurt when his arms are slow to go around me.
“I haven’t seen you in weeks, how’ve you been?” I put on a brave voice even though all I want to do is cry.
“Ehm,” he looks uncomfortable but he smiles down at me. “I’m good, I’ve been slammed at work sorry Y/N I’ve been meaning to see you.”
“Yeah,” I wait for him to give me more. The silence stretches out until he fills it.
“I’m really sorry about Frank and you I…I didn’t even know he was going to do that.”
“That makes two of us,” I try to joke but it’s too fresh and my voice cracks. Harry looks away.
“How’s your show going?”
“I’m on two more weeks and then I’m back to auditioning for majority of my days.”
“No callbacks from the other places?”
“Not yet.”
We stand in awkward silence and I want to scream. We were so easy, why was Harry being so weird? It’s not like Frank was the glue that held us together. And now the irritation begins to creep in as Harry continues being standoffish.
“What’s been going on with you?” I try.
“Not much, still trying the dating scene.” He sighs. “And working. My sister’s throwing this Halloween thing even though we’re all adults. I think she’s trying to set me up with one of her mates.”
“Just dress up like a sexy lamp, no one will want to come near you.”
“A sexy lamp?” Harry laughs and finally, finally looks at me.
“Beauty and the Beast? I saw it online when I was looking at costumes. I felt like I was in some twisted alternate universe where people are trying to be a sexy lamp.”
“Have you seen a Christmas Story?” Harry asks and I laugh so hard at that, it feels so good.
“Oh my god,” I wipe away my tears. “I haven’t laughed like that in ages.”
Harry’s cheeks are pink from the cold and the way he looks at me with pity and sadness drops coal into my stockings. How could he look at me like that? He was my best mate, I wasn’t some sorry damsel with a broken fucking heart.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been as available,” he finally says to me.
“Yeah,” I shrug. What else was I supposed to say? Well what I really wanted to do was get angry like everything was normal, but it didn’t feel like the right time.
We stand like that in silence until he tucks a strand of my hair behind my ears and it must be from being so touch, and friend, starved the last couple weeks that I sigh when he does it. He shoves his hand in his pocket and clears his throat.
“I should get going before the tube is sardines.”
“Right,” I say with a hard edge. Harry could tell I was getting upset but I didn’t care.
“I like the new hair by the way,” Harry says as he side steps me and becomes one with the crowd.
And even though he was sorry, he doesn’t message me to hang out or to ask how I’m doing. He abandons me too, only responding when I message him. I wasn’t giving up on him though even though it hurt to know he had given up on me. I couldn’t lose my best friend just because I’d lost my boyfriend.
***
“Hey Harry, I know you’ve been busy lately but my last show is this Thursday. In case you wanted to come see it. It’s gotten a lot smoother since that first one you went to hahahah…anyway. I left your name at the door if you can make it. I hope you can.”
I leave the voicemail on Monday and hope Harry can do it. I’ve had family come down to the city to see me, and friends show up here and there. But the people I thought would show up for my first and last performance are suddenly just gone from my life. If I could go back in time to the first show I’d tell myself to hold on tight because everyone would leave me.
Between practice and evening shows I don’t hear back from Harry. No text, voicemail, or message anywhere. My last night I get into character with a heart made of lead and tissue permanently pressed to my waterline so my mascara doesn’t run. I’d save my tears for the show itself.
As I secure my wig to my head a knock come from my dressing room door.
“It’s open,” I call, expecting the stage manager or my agent or a cast member. Harry walks in instead.
“Harry! You’re here!” I’m not even thinking as I rush to him and throw my arms around him. He’s slow to wrap his around me again and that’s when reality crashes back down. “I’m so glad you could make it.”
“Yeah I wouldn’t miss it,” Harry sits down on a nearby chair. “I know I was supposed to come to a lot more but…”
“You’re here now,” I beam, willing to put the past aside for now. “None of my family could make it tonight, it was going to be sort of depressing for me.”
“Drinks are on me,” Harry says. “I can’t believe my best mate’s done a whole season on broadway.”
“Right!?” I’m more excited of being called his best mate than doing the whole season. As I sit back down to do my wig I keep an eye on H through the mirror.
“So,” I start out tentatively. “Hear from Frank lately?”
“Hm,” he looks up from his phone. “I’m not going to be the messenger between you two.”
“What?! Of course not, jeez H I was only asking if he’s doing okay. I’m not like, thinking he’s somehow going to un-breakup with me.”
“I saw him last weekend. He’s alright, his new flat’s not too far from me actually.”
“That’s good,” I say. So he really did take Harry with him in the split. I can’t help but push more, I turn in my seat to face him.
“I know we haven’t spoken ever since shite hit the fan between Frank and me. But we’re still okay, right? We were always friends before you introduced me to Frank and I hope you don’t feel like you have to take sides.”
“What? No, nothing like that,” he looks cornered. He tugs his sleeve over his hand, not making eye contact.
“Okay...” I couldn’t interpret his body language. “Okay, it seems like you’re annoyed or something? Like, you want to leave this conversation. Did I say something?”
“No,” he shakes his head, his hair moving with the aggressive shake.
“So what is it?” I can hear the annoyance creeping into my own voice. “Did Frank say something about me? Why do you seem so cagey? What’s going on Harry?”
“I’m not-I’m not cagey,” he scoffs, straightening to his full height. “I just don’t feel like talking.”
“So Frank said something-”
“No! I just don’t care to have this conversation.”
“Oh,” my eyes sting. “So that’s it?”
“What do you mean?”
“Frank and I break up and so do we? You don’t want to talk anymore?”
“I didn’t mean it like that-”
“Well it sounded a lot like that,” I hold up my hand. “Don’t try to backtrack. I thought we were best friends Harry, nothing was supposed to change between us just because Frank and I are on bad terms-”
“But that’s the thing!” Harry shouts. “That’s the thing--everything’s changed! Everything, Y/N...look, I don’t want to talk about this!”
“I do!” I push back, interested in what he meant. “What changed? I don’t understand, and I want to talk about it! I can’t lose my boyfriend and my best friend in the same week! Nothing should change between us, Frank has nothing to do with us!”
Harry looks puzzled as his eyes fix on my face. I raise an eyebrow when he doesn’t speak. “What?”
“You’ve never...” he drags his hand down his face. “Y/N, I don’t want to talk about this. For our friendship’s sake, I can’t talk about this.”
“For our friendship’s sake?!” I exclaim. “I need to talk about this! You’re my best friend! Or so I thought.”
“No!” Harry finally snaps. “I don’t want to talk about this! You think Frank and you breaking up shouldn’t change our dynamic, change us, but of course it fucking does. And I don’t want to talk about it.”
I catch his arm as he tries to walk away, nearly being dragged with him as he rushes away. “Explain, Harry please explain. I don’t get it!”
“Fuck Y/N,” Harry talks with his back to me. I drop his arm. “Frank was the only thing that helped keep you in the friendzone. When you’re not his girlfriend...I don’t know what we are.”
I don’t know what to say, Ifeel like the wind’s been knocked out of me. “So all these years...you were just hanging around me because you wanted to be something more? Was our whole friendship a lie?”
“Of course not, what?” Harry finally turns. “You’re my best friend, you always have been. But by the time I decided to do something about my crush, you confessed to me that you really liked my best friend. And I could tell Frank was really happy around you. I loved both of you, I couldn’t get in between that.”
“So what, you’ve just been...secretly resenting us every time we all hung out? Punishing yourself everytime you third-wheel us?”
“No, no no this isn’t how...that’s not how it’s been.”
“What the fuck Harry?” I cry. “You’ve been secretly pining after your best friend’s girlfriend for years?”
“I know it’s fucked up!” Harry shouts. “I know I’m fucked up for wanting my best friend’s girlfriend I know! You don’t have to spell out how fucked up it is!”
“What the fuck,” I whisper.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Harry’s face crumples. “Please, Y/N that’s just what I was trying to say. When you were with Frank, I could hang out with you—with the both of you and not care because you two made each other so happy how could I come in between the happiness of the two people I loved the most in the world?
But now that you two have broken up, there’s no red light there. There’s nothing to stop me from kissing you. I mean, consent obviously…” He corrects himself, sighing. “I know, I know. That’s why I didn’t want to say anything. But you always know how to pull anything out of me.”
“I wish you were better equipped against me,” I slide down the wall. “This is so fucked up, I wish I could un-know that.”
“Is it so bad?” Harry’s gaze burns a hole through me. “Do you hate me?”
“No, I couldn’t...” how could I hate him when my intention the first night we ever met was to hook up with him. Things only changed when I met his best friend. “I don’t hate you, I just don’t know where we go from here.”
“I just need some space,” Harry says. “I think you probably need some too, now that that confession’s out of the box.”
“Shit,” I bury my face in my hands.
“I promise, we can go back to being best friends.” Harry continues. “I just need to figure out, where to put you. In my head...in my heart.”
I don’t say anything, I could barely look at him. To think he had this in him for as long as I’ve known him. It feels a bit like maybe I never knew him.
“I’ll be in the audience…break a leg Y/N.”
I hear the door close behind him but I can’t get up. I stay curled on the floor until a knock reminds me there’s 5 minutes ‘til positions. Shit.
I finish my hair and do some breathing exercises. I had to compartmentalize and use the emotions in the show just like my coach taught me.
“You’re okay,” I tell myself in the mirror. “You’re going to kill it. You’re okay. You can deal with everything later. Just do your best now.”
With one final breath I exit my room and get out there, putting on my best performance. And I guess the crazy heightened emotions help because the final reviews rave about my intensity. And while I curl up in bed that night sobbing myself to sleep, my inbox finally fills with open offers and auditions. This heartbreaking period opened a door to something new.
Two months later:
As a child, I always wanted to be in New York City during Christmas. Every movie made it look magical and wistful.
It was magical, in the right spots. And I couldn’t deny the magnetic pulse that surrounded the place. But it was also cold, incredibly cold, lonely, and dirty.
“Hey,” my roomate calls out when I enter our flat. Or apartment. “You got some mail I slipped it under your door.”
“Thanks,” I unwrap my massive scarf and heavy coat. “It’s so bloody cold out there.”
“It’s just starting,” she glances away from the TV to our window. Small flakes were starting to fall, it felt like looking at a snow globe.
She goes back to watching TV and I head to my room. It was smaller than the one I had back home but I’d decorated with fuzzy rugs and cozy comforters and furry blankets. And now I looked forward to it every day.
During the day I was practicing for my second ever show. After my intense performance on my last day, I was invited to audition for &Juliet which was moving to NYC. If they liked me, my flight would be paid for and I would join them in the Big Apple. Luckily, they liked me enough to offer one of the roles a couple weeks later. It wasn’t too major, but big enough that I had scenes throughout the musical. After what had happened the past months I thought fuck it and went.
It might seem like I was running away from my life but I saw it as a clean start. Big breakup, end of my show’s season, and a truth that shattered my core. I couldn’t stay in London.
I hadn’t told him. Harry. After everything I didn’t think I had to. He wanted space, I needed the same thing.
But it was lonely living in a new city with no connection to back home. Sure I talked to family and friends regularly, I hung out with my roomate and went out for drinks with my cast mates. But the people—the person who knew me better than I knew myself, well he was gone.
Frank had messaged me a few weeks ago when I posted on my story about New York. I didn’t have that big of a following but anyone who liked me in my last roles tended to stay on and follow my journey. So I used social media as an online journal.
It had been surprisingly courteous. He’d congratulated me, and said if he was ever in the city he would book tickets to see me. It was kind. And I don’t know if the shock of Harry’s truth was bigger than the breakup, or if enough time passed for me not to feel as hurt about it, but I liked talking to Frank just as a friend.
That’s what he asked me when we broke up—if we could still be friends. I thought it was so selfish and dickish to ask but now, I warmed up to the idea.
The opening show was booked for the beginning of January so I couldn’t go home for Christmas. I knew it was going to be lonely but a few of my castmates invited me to their Christmas eve dinner. It seemed like a lot of New York was made up of found family. I was still finding mine.
***
“Two weeks until our first show,” Nolan drops his head down on the table.
“You’ll get it,” Christa pats him on the back. “He’s just hard on you because he wants you to be your best.”
“That one fucking line!” Nolan kept missing his cue on his final line and it had been haunting him.
“What could help?” Ravi joins us with the coffees he promised. It was a 8am rehearsal today and we were all beat from last night’s rehearsal.
“I’m close to you,” I offer. “I could cue you somehow if it helps?”
“Yeah?” Nolan look up. “Maybe, let’s try that. Something subtle.”
“Yeah!” Christa lights up.
“Okay,” I feel good inside, having made a good contribution. Sometimes I felt like an outsider coming into this production so late, it felt like everyone was already familir with everyone else. And I had the least experience out of everyone. It was hard not to feel like an imposter.
“You’re a natural,” Ravi hands me a coffee. “Don’t worry too much Y/N. I see the gears turning in your head.”
“Yeah everyone already loves you.” Christa pipes in. “You gotta relax.”
“I try!” I roll back my shoulders. The role meant a lot to me. “I just want to do my best.”
“You are,” she lays a hand on my shoulder. “You know you’ll get told off if you weren’t.”
“So Y/N is joining us for Christmas?” Ravi asks.
“I think so?” Christa raises an eyebrow at me.
“Yeah,” I nod. “I’m not going home this year.”
“Feel free to invite a plus-one,” Christa says.
“Oh,” I plat with the lid of my cup. “Probably won’t.”
“No boyfriends?” Nolan asks. “Girlfriends?”
“Nolan,” Christa scolds. He shrugs.
“No I,” this was awkward. “I had a breakup before I finished my last show. I haven’t really been eager to jump into a new one.” Especially when Harry’s confession always lingers in the back of my mind. Damn him.
“You ran away.” Nolan states like it’s fact.
“No!” I argue. “It was like over a month later. Plus we started reconnecting again-“
“Nope. Don’t go there,” Christa warns. “Never walk back into the past.”
“My fiancé and I broke up once and we’re getting married next summer,” Ravi jumps in.
“Don’t listen to him,” Christa waves her hand in his face. “He’s an anomaly.”
“Who are you calling anomaly?” Ravi asks. We laugh as the insults go flying between them and a small part of me is relieved to not be on the outside looking in like I did when I first arrived.
“I’m not getting back together with him, plus there’s so much distance.” I reassure the group.
Plus Frank literally said he didn’t feel the same way about me anymore. After 5 years together, he’d fallen out of love somewhere along the way. It was hurtful, and I don’t think he would go back on his word. I don’t think I’d want to take him back anymore.
It hits me then, both of the boys I loved so dearly were lying along the way. One said he loved me even though deep inside he was falling out of love. The other loved me more than a friend, but only called me his best friend.
“You alright?” Nolan asks. The group had left me while I sat in thought, everyone was getting into places.
“Yeah,” I reach for his hand and he helps me up. “Just thinking.”
We get into place and with direction, begin rehearsal for the day. I get lost in it, one of my favourite things to do.
***
“Flowers!” One of the PAs drops a bouquet onto my table as I finish setting my makeup in place. All the moving and the harsh stage lighting made it sweaty, and I couldn’t risk my makeup running.
“I don’t think…” I stop as I notice it was my name on the card. Who would send me flowers on opening? My family already wished me luck on facetime and the few friends in the city were here for the show. I turn the card around.
I already know it’s going to be fantastic but break a leg anyway xx
I read it again. It sounded like Frank, he thought everything was fantastic. Maybe he remembered opening night.
I smell the flowers, another cast mate who shared my room strikes up a conversation about them and I finish my hair to it. We go out together and I feel my heart in my throat. The last time I had all my support in the second row. This time, they were an ocean away and my heart ached thinking about them.
Channel your emotions. Channel your emotions.
I repeat the mantra, and when it’s my cue I break out on stage and wait a beat. Then start my line.
I don’t have a moment to actually look at the audience until my second-last scene. That’s when I notice them. Frank. And Harry.
“Count…me in!” I stumble on a line. Shit. Shitshitshit.
I look back at Christa and continue our lines but her eyebrow dips for a moment and I know she caught it too. I just hoped our director wouldn’t point it out.
Harry and Frank were here. Harry and Frank were here? Don’t think about it. Can’t think about it.
“A strong woman,” I respond to Nolan. I nudge him like we’d practiced and his final line comes tumbling out. I send out a prayer that it was smooth.
I go off stage for a few until my next scene and catch my breath.
“What happened?” Nolan asks. “I thought I heard you almost forget a line.”
“I saw someone in the audience, wasn’t expecting…” i trail off as I hear my cue. “Talk later!”
I rush back on and finish up. It’s exhilerating and just like that I can’t believe our first show is done!
We stay on for the final bits, the final bow, and then I’m rushing to my room for my phone. Did Frank message me? Did I miss something?
But it’s empty.
The other girls in the room trickle in and we all congratulate each other. They go over some of their lines and areas they almost messed up in. I’m too distracted by everything to join fully.
I try to engage but I’m mostly wiping away my stage makeup so I can head out. I don’t know if I wanted to avoid who I just saw or find them.
If you avoid them, then you really are running away.
Ugh. I would have to find them some way. I leave Frank a message and go back to the conversation.
Eventually, with dread weighing me down, I agree to meet the boys where Frank texted me. They were staying at a hotel a few blocks away and there was a bar in the lobby they said was nice.
Frank stands as soon as he sees me, Harry’s back is to me so he’s slow to stand.
“Y/N you were bloody fantastic!” Frank wraps me in his arms and it’s been so long that I squeeze him extra hard. I missed him, or maybe I just missed being held.
“Thank you!” I say into his shoulder. I let go and look between the two. “What are you two doing here? You didn’t just come for me right? Because that’s insane. I…”
“Well kind of,” Frank admits.
“That’s…too much!” I imagine the cost of everything and cringe that they paid that much to see me.
“Well Harry started dating a pilot,” Frank says proudly. Harry doesn’t meet my eye. “So we practically flew for pennies!”
“Oh wow!” I lean into Frank’s arm around my back. It was probably bad, but it felt good here. Except for the massive awkward block that was Harry. “I don’t know what to say I really didn’t expect-“
“I know.” Frank laughs. I missed that laugh. “We caught you by surprise, I saw it on your face right Harry?”
“Yeah,” Harry forces a laugh. “We felt bad. Didn’t mean to catch you off guard.”
“It’s not the first time,” I tell him and he catches my double meaning because he stares at me. I raise my eyebrows and he looks away, back at Frank.
“Can I have a moment?” I turn to Frank. “With Harry?”
“Oh,” his face falls. “Of course.”
We stand awkwardly as Frank doesn’t leave. He looks to the side like he usually does when he’s trying to say something. “Look Y/N, I know after our breakup our group just fell apart. But don’t blame Harry. He was caught in the middle, he told me you were mad at him. Be mad at me instead-“
“Thanks. Frank.” Harry cuts his best friend off. “Don’t worry mate, we just need to talk.”
I keep my eyes trained on Harry as Frank moves away. I take his seat at the bar and wait for Harry to take his.
“Why are you here?” I ask.
“Why did you disappear?” He asks back.
“You wanted space. Wasn’t that good for us?”
“I meant time, like time away. Not move to bloody America.”
“Well I had an opportunity and I took it!”
“Yeah well,” Harry takes a swig of his drink. “I’m glad you did. You were phenomenal out there. I’m proud of you.”
My heart softens a bit when he says it, so does his face. I can’t take my eyes off him, he made me so mad but I missed him so much. This was the longest we’d been away from each other with no contact.
“I missed you,” he finally says just as I go in on him.
“How did you come here? With Frank? After what you told me?” I missed him too, but I wanted answers. How could someone be in love with their best friend’s girlfriend, and fool both parties by being so casual around them all the time. How could he look at Frank in the face???
“So I guess you didn’t miss me,” Harry tries teasing.
“Obviously I did. Not the point though.” I scowl when Harry smiles. But the smile relaxes his face and my heart skips a beat.
“He doesn’t know. Doesn’t need to know. Just like you didn’t need to until you forced it out of me. I didn’t do anything wrong Y/N. You can’t treat me like I did something awful, I just had feelings for you.”
Had.
“Okay,” I take Harry’s drink from his side since I hadn’t ordered mine yet and down it in one gulp. “You’re alright?”
“Yeah,” Harry takes the empty glass from me. “The space was good.”
“Okay,” I feel slightly offended, but I decide to ignore it. I find Frank by the window and wave him over. He comes back with a grin that I can’t help but mirror.
“So how’s the new job?” I ask him once we all find seats. We’d been talking back and forth online, I knew all about his life without me. He knew all about mine.
“Really good,” Frank lights up. “I finally get my own office! It’s small but nice! I’m getting a good feeling from my team too, it’s good.”
“Good feeling from the team?” Harry smirks at Frank and Frank blushes.
“What?” I look between then. “What does that mean?”
“Nothing,” Frank says quickly. “Harry thinks the team has a lot of good looking people. He’s trying to start a fire.”
“Ah,” I look at Harry but he’s staring at his drink. He was trying to start a fire, but it didn’t bother me. Although Frank and I never shared romantic updates, as time went on, the thought of him moving on felt less and less awful. Even though it was a bit bitter to think about, it was over.
“What’s with the pilot girlfriend? Where’d you find her?” I ask.
“Work conference, she was at the bar.” Harry tells me. “She flies a lot, but she’s funny. I like her.”
“Good,” I try to stay neutral even though a confusing wave of emotions washes up. “Good to know you’re still keeping that string of girlfriends.”
“Speaking of,” Harry ignores me and pulls his phone out of his jacket. “She’s free now. We have plans. It was good seeing you Y/N. We’ll catch dinner later?”
“Oh,” I wasn’t expecting him to leave so soon. “Yeah sure-“
“Yeah we’re here until Thursday.” Frank tells me. “If not tomorrow whenever you’re free.”
“Yeah!” I wasn’t expecting to be alone with Frank tonight.
“If it’s just the two of us,” Frank reaches over to my chair and pulls it closer. “Come in so I can hear you better.”
“Okay!” I felt confused, and lonely. And that was dangerous. I just couldn’t get drunk otherwise I might make bad decisions.
I stop Frank after another drink and tell him I should get home so I wasn’t hungover for tomorrow’s show.
But I’m so tired I fall asleep as soon as I get in bed. I want to sort out what just happened tonight but I save it for the daytime.
***
“You weren’t there for first show drinks!” My castmate calls out the next day. I was in to go over some lines and changes, and apparently mostly everyone had gone out for drinks to celebrate last night. I was too busy catching up my past.
“Had some guests in town,” I mumble.
“Guests?” Nolan asks curiously.
“Some friends came in to see the show,” I try to act casual.
“Just some friends? Flew halfway across the world? They’re just friends?”
“Need me some of those friends.”
“Well,” I had a bunch of nosy castmates. “One’s my ex. The other one is my best friend. Alright?”
“Alright now it gets juicy,” Christa comes up beside me. “I thought this ex was in the past-“
“Please don’t judge me,” I squirm. “Just…we were all catching up that’s all! Now. I’m going to go get ready.”
“Touchy,” I hear someone say as I head to my shared dressing room.
I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone because I didn’t know what to say. My ex came to town and it was dangerously good seeing him. My estranged best friend was also here, oh yeah he’s been in love with me the whole time, and then skipped out early for his girlfriend. Then why show up at all? Ugh. It was making me very confused and I had to focus.
It’s quick touch-ups and placement changes and then I’m on stage for our second show. It’s smoother and there are more people tonight. I loved the exhilarating feeling of being on stage. It was incomparable.
I politely decline Frank’s request for meeting up tonight with him and Harry, so he doesn’t have to play the third wheel. I needed some alone time and doing the shows was tiring.
I take a much needed shower at home and continue thinking about the show, the boys, and why I couldn’t stop obsessing over them!
After Sunday’s show, I agree to dinner with Harry and Frank. Apparently they’d been exploring the city, and Harry had gotten a new tattoo. He proudly displays it at dinner.
“Looks sore,” I appreciate the line design. Frank’s using the toilet and we peruse the menu while we wait.
“A bit but I’m taking care of it,” Harry flips over his menu.
“Your girlfriend isn’t joining?”
“I’m meeting up with her later,” Harry glances at me. “Why? D’you want to meet her or something?”
“N-no?” What the hell. “She probably won’t last long anyway, what’s the point.”
“Really, again Y/N?” Harry puts his menu down.
“What!? You never keep a girlfriend for very long. I meet one, then I’m meeting another.”
“Piss off,” his face turns pink and I’m surprised how easily this is getting under his skin. I always used to tease him about how quickly he turned over girlfriends. “The girlfriend jokes stopped being funny. And at least I’ve got a girlfriend.”
“What the hell?” Now it’s my turn to be offended. “I had a boyfriend. Long-term. As you would know. I think the way you put it…it helped you keep me friendzoned?”
“Why are you being such a bitch?” Harry stands just as Frank approaches our table.
“Hey hey what’s going on here?” His outstretched arm grasps Harry’s shoulder.
“Y/N’s being a bitch,” Harry says as I say “Harry’s a dick.”
“Woah,” Frank tries to get Harry back into his seat. “What happened to you two? You guys never actually fight c’mon Harry-“
“Just let him go,” I say as Harry whips his coat off the back of his chair.
“No! Harry man come on,” Frank steps in his way. “I don’t know why you two are so sensitive these days. What are you guys really fighting about?”
Harry and I make eye contact. He looks away first and just pushes Frank out of his way.
“What the hell?” Frank turns to me. “Y/N, he flew across the pond to see you why are you treating him like shite?”
That gets me, the guilt kicks in. “I don’t-he’s just so-ugh!” I quickly follow Harry’s steps and find him on his phone outside the restaurant.
“What do you want?” Harry asks when he spots me.
“I’m sorry,” I decide to be the bigger person. Harry came all this way, I don’t know why I was acting like this. “Come back to dinner.”
“I already texted my girlfriend—the one I’ll break up with soon anyway. Yeah, we have plans so I’m alright.“
“Harry,” I deserved that. “Really I’m sorry. I just…I don’t know how to be around you right now. We never talked after that confession you dropped on me and-“
“Well who’s fault is that?” Harry bites. And I know I’d struck a nerve. The Nerve. “You force me to tell you something and then you just abandon me afterwards-“
“Only after you abandoned me!” The gloves were off. “After Frank and I broke up I was so alone, you didn’t even text me!”
“I already told you, I was trying to reconcile everything myself!”
“You’re acting like being around me when I was single was a test of your self-control. Like you would just burn to touch me or something what the fuck? If it was so easy for you to be around us when Frank and I were dating, it should’ve been just as easy to support me as a friend. Isn’t that what it comes down to at the end of the day? We’re friends…and you just left me.”
I choke up and turn to face the road so Harry can’t see. The roads are wet with slush and backed up with cars that were permanently home between the yellow lines in this city.
“I’m sorry,” Harry says behind me. “I was a bad friend.”
“You were,” I tell him. I turn back around. “I just…I thought I knew you inside and out. I thought we could read each other’s minds with how well we knew each other. And turns out you were hiding such a big secret. Something like this, i-it’s confusing. I feel like I don’t know you.”
“You really never knew?” Suspicion creeps into his voice. “Never? It was complete news to you?”
“Yes!” I say truthfully. “You’re Frank’s best friend! You set us up. Life isn’t actually like Love, Actually.”
“Well it was for me Y/N I—fuck,” Harry leans back against the brick wall. “I didn’t want to tell you! I just needed some time and then I could go back to being your Harry. You just kept fucking pushing-“
“I wasn’t holding a gun to your head,” I argue. “You could’ve lied. You could’ve come up with any excuse-“
“You’d catch me in any lie I told.”
“Never caught you in the lie you’d been telling us for five years.”
We have a stare off as my words echo between us.
“I never lied.” Harry finally says. His phone chirps and he checks it, I watch as he types out a response.
“Lie of omission. Same thing.”
“You were never supposed to know. I was supposed to get over it.”
“And did you?” I ask before I can think. I don’t know if I even wanted an answer.
“Yeah,” Harry crossed his arms. “I told you I needed time. I missed you yeah, but luckily you left the whole fucking continent. I’m over it now.”
I don’t know what to say. After all that, he’d gotten over it. It felt a bit embarrassing, like I’d made a bigger deal than I needed too. But deep down my loneliness grew. Nobody wanted me. Not even Harry.
“Not like I had a chance anyway yeah?” Harry looks at me so intensely I have to look away. “It was always Frank for you.”
“Well you were never in the picture,” I say. I never knew he felt that way. He doesn’t say anything. “What?!”
“What’s that mean? I was never in the picture?”
“I dunno! I never saw you like that because I never knew you liked me.”
“Wait wait,” Harry leans in. “So you’re saying if I’d told you in the 5+ years you and Frank were dating. You might’ve dumped him to date me? You might have had feelings for your boyfriend’s best friend?”
“No! I…” I don’t know what I was saying. Would I have? I thought he was hot the first night we met. I’d seen him in class, he was smart and attractive. But Frank was my type when I met him so Harry was friendzoned immediately after.
“Now that’s fucked up,” Harry has the balls to be judgemental.
“Don’t judge me! I don’t know what I would do. And I’m only thinking about this after Frank and I have long been broken up. I never thought about you while we were together. Can’t say the same about you!”
Harry’s phone lights up again and he scans the text.
“Whatever Y/N. My girlfriend’s down the road, I’m meeting up with her. Since you don’t care to meet her, I’ll save you the trouble.”
He walks away from me without looking back. I stare after him, watch as he embraces someone and then he’s lost in the crowd. I feel a sob come up but I take a gulp of cold air instead and tamp it down. Harry wasn’t going to have this power over me. Fuck him.
“He’s gone?” Frank asks when I make my way back to him. He’d ordered us wine and I knock back the glass before I answer.
“Yeah, whatever. I apologized, he’s just…a dick.”
“He’s always got a soft spot for you. I’m just surprised. I’m sorry if this was my doing.” Frank looks puzzled. He was so innocent, he didn’t even know the truth. The trust he had was borderline pitiful.
And now I was being rude.
“It’s alright,” I pat his hand. “It’s just you and me again tonight. We’re good company.”
“Yeah,” Frank holds my hand. “But three’s company remember?”
“No so much these days…”
“Yeah,” Frank nods. “But no matter, I do love your company.”
I ignore the L-word and pour myself more wine. We order from the menu but I don’t have much of an appetite. I nibble at my food and take the rest to-go. We wind up at a bar and order more drinks while we continue talking.
Somehow we wind up back to the topic of Harry. And our friend group before we broke up.
“He’s still a serial dater,” Frank says with a candidness that revealed how drunk he was getting. “I don’t know why he’s looking for the perfect girl. I keep telling him the perfect girl is what you make her. But he’s got this bloody idea in his head and no girl lives up to her.”
“Did he tell you that?” I move in closer to hear Frank better, curious if he ever hinted at me.
“Not really,” Frank swishes the Guinness in his glass. “He met someone in uni apparently. But it didn’t work out. I told him he should contact her y’know? But he said she’s moved on, in a relationship. So i said get a fucking move on too right?”
“Mmm,” so he had told a white lie to his best friend.
“Y’know,” Frank lays a hand on my arm. “Y/N, we had something really good. Sometimes I second guess. I feel like I’m an idiot for letting a woman like you go. I still love you. I do. But it’s not that love from before. That wow love.”
It was shitty to hear but I knew what he meant. Our love had gotten comfortable. Like we’d been married 40+ years. When I had enough time to see clearly I’d realized too that wasn’t the kind of love I wanted. I just hadn’t been self-aware enough to see it.
“Yeah,” I say. Frank leans in closer to hear me. “I know what you mean.”
“Maybe if we’re still single in 30 years and we still have that love for each other. We can just get married.”
“Settle?” I ask.
“We’d be fifty!” Frank says. “It’s a good age to settle.”
I laugh. “Fine, deal.”
We link pinkies and maybe it’s the liquor (definitely the liquor) or feeling lonely for months (also the feeling lonely for months) but we lean in the rest of the way. Frank’s lips on mine are familiar, and I ache for more. I pull him deeper into the kiss and he pulls me in until I’m practically in his lap. I feel delirious, touch-starved for too long. All I want was for every inch of clothing to be on the floor.
“Let’s go back to yours,” I say when we take a moment to catch our breaths.
“Really?” Frank asks. “You sure?”
“Just two exes right? Nothing more?”
“Yeah,” Frank goes in for another kiss. “I’d like that.”
He grabs my hand and we stumble out, putting our jackets on against the icy cold as we stumble towards his hotel. If I was more sober maybe I would remember Christa’s warning of not to go backwards but I missed the feeling of being wanted. I missed Frank. And we agreed no strings. What was there to lose?
***
A loud noise wakes me out of my sleep. My eyes are crusted with sleep and I have a raging headache. Where the fuck was I?
I peel my eyes open to blinding light and immediately close them, turning my face into the pillow. The top of my head touches something, a body. The night rushes back just as a voice asks, “what the fuck is this?”
There’s a flurry of movement beside me and I peek open my eye. Harry stands by the TV with barely-concealed rage in his face. Fuck shit!
“Harry!” Frank’s groggy voice calls his best friend’s name with joy. “Good to see you’re back-“
“Is that Y/N? What happened last night? Why is she here?”
I sit up slowly with the comforter wrapped tightly around my torso.
“Uhhh,” Frank looks over at me. He doesn’t look guilty or regretful, somehow he just looks casual. And I sort of love him more for it. “Some fun?!”
Maybe it was casual fun for him, I realize. Meanwhile a bad mix of guilt and disgust churn away inside me. Not because of Frank, but because I’d used him whilst feeling lonely.
Harry looks in my direction and I would be dead on the spot if looks could kill. Who the fuck was he to judge?
“We’re consenting adults Harry,” my voice was rough. “It’s not your concern.”
“Yeah mate,” Frank reaches around for his underpants and dresses himself enough to stand up. “We can talk later about last night, you and me. But Y/N and I were just…finding comfort in the familiar. Right?”
“Yeah,” I answer Frank. “Just some casual fun.”
“Yeah,” Frank rummages in a drawer. “I’m hopping in the shower. Maybe we can all grab breakfast-“
“I should go,” I didn’t have a show tonight but I couldn’t stay here any longer.
“Alright,” Frank shrugs. “We’ll do something later.”
When he shuts the door behind him, the silence in the room becomes suffocating. Harry stands, pinching the bridge of his nose and I try to locate with my eyes where exactly my undergarments are. Ah, of course right by Harry’s feet.
“Um,” I clear my throat as I stand with the comforter wrapped around me. I point to the items. “D’you mind?”
Harry steps back in disgust and I reach for them. When he doesn’t turn around I raise my eyebrow and do a spinning motion with my hand. He rolls his eyes and turns.
“I can’t fucking believe you,” he finally speaks—no, spits out as I slip into my clothes. “How the fuck are you fooling around with Frank? Don’t play with him Y/N!”
“Play with him?” I zip my jeans on and return the comforter to the bed. “Play with him? Frank’s a grown man. We have history. I can bloody well sleep with him if I want!”
“Not like this!” Harry turns, eyes blazing. “Not after what you said yesterday to me!”
“What I said? After you asked a hypothetical? A hypothetical in retrospect? When you have been pining after his girlfriend for five years? Five years! And you have the gall to judge me!”
“I can’t help how I felt!” Harry steps closer. “Stop fucking holding that over me like I’m disgusting to have felt that! I stayed in my lane, you didn’t even know—that’s how much I stayed in my lane.”
He had a point. It was wrong, but on a technicality he didn’t do anything wrong. He takes my silence as a chance to continue chewing me out.
“You hint that you could’ve felt something for me last night and then you come and sleep with him? After everything? What are you doing Y/N? This isn’t you.”
“I’m doing whatever I want! You can’t control whatever I want to do based on whatever fucked up morals you’re using on your high horse!”
“My high horse!” Harry brushes my hand off when I touch his shoulder to keep distance. He was getting too close. “What do you want Y/N? You’re angry that I abandoned you, you’re angry I confessed a secret you pulled out of me, then you’re fucking your ex—my best friend, and judging me for my relationship history?”
“You’re way too close,” I push him gently by the shoulder.
“Oh you don’t like that? Both Frank and Harry close to Y/N again.”
“Fuck off!” I push him again, harder this time and he flicks my hands off.
I shove him with both hands but he’s hard to move. He grabs my wrist. “Is that what you wanted all along? Just both of us trailing after you? Do you get a power trip out if it? Do you want me to kiss you too? Maybe a quickie before Frank gets out of the shower? Is that why you did this? Because I said last night I didn’t think about you like that anymore?”
“Stop!” I finally manage to get my hand out of his grip. He looks down at my hand and then at my face. It drops, and he steps back.
I turn for my coat and catch a glimpse of my face. I was crying.
“Y/N don’t go-“ Harry calls out as I rush to the front door.
“You must forget,” I keep my hand on the doorknob as I tell him one last thing. “He broke up with me. I’m not stringing him along. I’m not sleeping with him to get to you. I…I don’t even know you anymore Harry…I don’t want to see you again. If you’re here ‘til Thursday, stay out of my way.”
I do the walk of shame to the subway and sit on the ride home, crying openly on the plastic seats. Nobody gave a fuck.
I don’t know what had gotten into Harry. But I don’t know why I gave in last night too. I wasn’t at a place emotionally to do this. Even though Harry’s words were his own projections one thing was true. His words last night did hit a chord, I did want to feel wanted. And Frank didn’t deserve that.
I had run away instead of facing my reality. And it had gotten me nowhere.
6 months later:
My flat feels bigger than it did. I also feel bigger in it. Most of my furniture was still in storage, I had movers coming tomorrow.
I was finally back to London this week. I was jet lagged as fuck, and cried at least once a day. I missed the life I made in New York, the family I made. Our show had ended a couple months ago. Somehow I’d booked a small role in a series I’d end up dead in after four episodes. I’d met an amazing guy there but we knew I was always moving back. We didn’t try long-distance, we just agreed it was right people wrong time.
In my remaining time in New York I learned to pivot from running away to facing my past. Frank and I had talked before he left back in January. Even though I told him nothing about what happened I had told him it was probably best we stopped contact for a while. I needed to focus on my present.
And I had. I focused on my career, on learning to be alone and exploring why I needed to be wanted. Learning to be happy by myself.
It was 6 months but it felt like years with how transformational it had been. New York city had changed my life but London was calling me back home.
I’d seen a couple friends since. One of them being from uni had told me about Harry. Apparently he had moved to Australia while his company was setting up offices there. A small part of me had held onto the hope of bumping into him in the city but I let it go when I hear the news. Maybe Harry and I were just going to live separate lives.
We never spoke after that day. It was hard to reconcile his actions with who I knew him to be. Over time I recognized we were both confused and hurting.
I loved him. It was simple. Maybe I always loved him. But I think it was a love that wasn’t meant to be. I didn’t hold out hope for him, and I made sure to minimize my heartache when I thought about the friendship I lost.
That love wasn’t the same way I loved Frank. With Harry I really did feel we were twin flames, we knew each other right to the darkest parts of out souls. With Frank we fit right. It was mutual respect and love.
I had dinner plans with Frank next week, the first time we were talking since January too. I heard from my friend he had a girlfriend, he seemed serious about her. I was really happy for him.
I ease into London life slowly. I had a few roles on small sets that I popped in and out of for work. I met up with friends and visited my family in the country. Summer sweltered on and the city welcomed me back home with a steady hum. Despite my initial feelings of growing out of all my friendships, I slowly surround myself by loved ones again and find my flow.
Autumn creeps in and I welcome the cool breeze on early set days. I drink countless coffees and grow into my own skin. I book more roles and finally feel secure, it feels amazing.
An old friend invited me to a Halloween party. Costumes not optional she texts.
Another friend and I decide to go as Marvel characters. I dress up as the Scarlett Witch
“Is that Y/N Y/L/N gracing us with her presence?” An old friend calls me out when we get there. It’s easy to get lost amongst old friends and everyone has a million questions about show business. When it gets overwhelming I excuse myself and take a lap, admiring the creativity in everyone’s costumes.
“Y/N you made it!” I look closer at the man in the makeup and realize it was Frank.
“Hey!” I wrap my arms around him. “You made it too!”
“Barely,” he points his thumb at the gorgeous woman beside him. She’s dressed as Rapunzel.
“You made him Flynn,” I say.
“Yeah!” She holds up her frying pan. “You must be Y/N, I’ve heard a lot about you!”
“That makes me nervous,” I grimace but we go in for a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you though! You two should win best couple costume!”
“This hair gel is making my scalp itchy. Like crazy.” Frank goes to touch his hair but his Rapunzel slaps his hand away which gets me laughing hysterically. They really embodied the characters.
“Hey,” Frank says once we get serious. “I dunno if you’ve seen him yet. Harry’s here though.”
“I-oh,” I catch my breath. I wasn’t expecting that. “He’s not…Australia?”
“No no, he came back a couple weeks ago. They’re done whatever project they were doing. So…you haven’t seen him?”
“No,” I glance around. “I don’t know if I want to. We haven’t talked since…”
“Just talk to him,” Frank says, suddenly intense. He grabs my arm and moves to the side, mouthing something to his girlfriend. Seeing him with her, I feel so distant from the girl who dated him I’m surprised we did for so long. “Y/N both of you need to make up. Look at us, we broke up after a long term relationship and we’re friends again. There’s nothing that you two can’t get over.”
“It’s not that simple,” I couldn’t out Harry so I mince my words. “Harry said some vile things. And…he’s not who I thought he was for all those years. It’s different!”
“Y/N,” Frank takes a deep breath. He looks to the side, and I can tell he’s choosing his words carefully. “I love the both of you. We’re all best mates, we used to do everything together. Three’s still company! And I want to see both of you happy-“
“I am happy-“
“Yeah but Harry’s a sore spot. Right?”
I roll my eyes. Of course we dated for so long, he knew how to read me.
“Exactly. Listen I know…I know it’s weird. We dated. And Harry’s my best friend. But whatever you two want to be, as long as the two of you are happy-“
“What?” Was he saying what I think he was saying? “What are you saying?”
“You don’t think I’m an idiot do you?” Frank asks and I shrug. He huffs before continuing. “I see the way he looks at you Y/N. I know he…it was weird at first. When I realized maybe my best friend liked my girlfriend. But that shit happens all the time. I confronted him once. He said he admired you a lot but it was nothing more than that. I let it go—I think it was easier for me to believe him than call him out on his lie and potentially ruin our friend-“
“So you know why we’re fighting?”
“Not exactly. But I guessed after I saw how angry Harry was. When he found us in bed…I put the pieces together. Sort of felt like it was my fault. That I was the reason you two were fighting. A part of me wasn’t ready to give you up though. I’m glad you made us take space.”
“Yeah…” There are so many thoughts running through my head and it’s hard to turn them into words. I just nod along.
“So you’ll try?” Frank asks.
“I-yeah. I’m just going to…step away” I pat Frank on the arm and walk away. I needed a quiet corner. I pass his girlfriend along the way and we smile cordially. I was happy for Frank. But I can’t believe he knew. Not the whole time, but deep down he did. Was I the only one who didn’t???
The way Harry looked at me. I remember. I never put much thought into it. We were best friends after all. But all along he had loved me from afar. And been there like a friend. It was stupid and crazy that he didn’t just cut me off to move on, but it was also sweet. Pathetically sweet.
I walk out of the flat and find the stairwell. There was finally some air to breathe; I drop my head onto my knees to take some deep breaths. What was I supposed to do now? I knew I had to see Harry sooner or later now that he was back in town. But what if he changed too? What if he has a girlfriend? Did I even want to risk our friendship and try to be something more?
What friendship, I remember. We had nothing right now. Our relationship was in shambles. We hadn’t spoken in 9 months.
“Ugh!” I shout and it echoes in the stairwell. I dust my costume off and open the door back to the hall but I come face to face with Doctor Strange instead. Well, Doctor Strange’s medallion.
“Oh. Hiya,” I saw awkwardly. Harry looked amazing. Even in his costume. He’s grown more handsome in our time away.
“Scarlet Witch,” he looks me up and down.
“Did you know? Is that why you’re Strange?”
“Honestly no,” he steps back. “I had a cape at home, and found a robe so I just went with it…”
“You just had a cape at home? Casually?”
“Yeah,” by now Harry is smiling and staring at me. We were having a casual conversation but his eyes were saying something else. He was really glad to see me. “I’m so glad I bumped into you.”
“In the stairwell,” I arch an eyebrow. “A bird named Frank didn’t tell you did he?”
“Hm,” he pretends to think before taking a Strange pose. “I looked at the possibilities of seeing you tonight and-“
“You’re such a nerd,” I put his arm down that’s waving circles in the air.
We fall into another silence and it’s a bit awkward. But my words are too far away to grasp any, I didn’t know what to say. There was too much and nothing at all suddenly.
“You went to Australia,” I settle on prying what he’s been up to.
“Yeah, yeah!” His eyes light up as he tells me about it. Apparently he’d gone with that girlfriend from New York—turns out she was Australian. They lived together for a bit but her schedule made it hard to go steady. I glean this info while he tells me about what he was doing there and how different the lifestyle was. “It surprised me. I really liked it. I think you would have too.”
“Seems lovely,” I smile. “You glow when you talk about it.”
Harry blushes. “Yeah I…it was the step away I needed. There’s a lot of bloody space in Australia, I just felt so free there.”
“I’m happy for you,” I say honestly. Harry actually seemed brand new. I ache a little that he’d done all this changing; what if I was a castaway in his big change.
“Yeah. Thanks.” He smiles, his dimples make an appearance. “M’glad to be home though.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. “Me too. I love America but I’m home on British soil.”
That makes Harry laugh. Then more silence. Jeez what could I say. This was so awkward!
“Should we go back in?” Harry nods to the door. I hesitate, I thought we were going to talk talk. Isn’t that why he found me out here?
Unless I really was in Harry’s past; he didn’t think we were worth reconciling. Maybe we were just going to be friendly now. Oh that hurts.
“Why not,” I walk ahead so I can mask my expression into something pleasant. I was Scarlet bloody Witch. Turns out Harry wasn’t the Vision I thought he was going to be. I was going to be fine.
“So you seeing anyone?” Harry asks casually as we walk back in. The noise is louder and I barely make his question out.
“Ah no,” I can’t look him in the eye. “Not right now.”
No comment from him. Oh my god I had to get away from this constant awkward energy.
“I’ll catch up with you later then? I see some friends there I haven’t spoken to…”
Harry looks to where I point. His brows furrow for a brief moment before he slips on an easy smile. “Talk later!”
I look for him a little later after I’ve cleared my head. I see him with Frank’s girlfriend. Was he in love with her now? The thought flashes in my brain so quickly I’m surprised by the emotion it pulls up. What was wrong with me!?
I had to slow down on the drinks. And maybe this headpiece was shrinking my brain cells. Why did I think such a horrible thought after Harry was so nice to me?
You’re jealous.
I couldn’t be though. Could I? This wasn’t the Harry I knew. How could I be?
I move towards where I remember the toilets to be. I could get out of this headpiece, splash some water on my face. Factory reset my stupid brain.
“Oh-‘scuse me!” I bump into someone—Harry coming out of the bathroom.
“Harry I-“ I turn back to where I swear I just saw him.
“Frank dropped cream cheese on my cape that menace,” Harry shows me the spot. “It barely came out.”
“Did you dab at it?” I inspect it. “Let’s see if we can get it out.”
He turns back and I follow him into the bathroom. I close the door and suddenly the loud noise muffles into a quieter environment. It emphasizes our silence.
“The cheese is like, in the threads.” I use my finger to scrub the cloth. “Frank can be so clumsy.”
“He’s like a child with finger foods,” Harry says. His voice rumbles through his chest to me. It’s then I realize, he was nearly touching it to my back—I’d draped his cape over the both of us.
I blink up at him and he must realize because he steps back. “Sorry, let me take this off. Might be easier.”
“No that’s alright,” I say but I take it from him happily detached.
He watches me clean it after offering assistance and being rejected. I was used to spot cleaning things out of my costumes, I’d gotten good at it.
“Here you go,” I give it to him after dabbing it as dry as I could.
“Wow, thank you.” He examines the spot. “That’s nearly gone.”
“Nearly?” I squint at it and he laughs.
“Yeah it’s gone, you’re the wizard!” He extends the cape over my shoulders.
“Actually it should be sorcerer,” I say. “I’ve already got a cape!”
“But it’s so short!”
“Fine,” I pull it tighter around my shoulders and the comfort of Harry it carried. “I’ll keep this on! See ya!”
He laughs but when I go for the door he stops me. “Wait. Y/N wait. Wait. Is…is this how we’re going to be?”
“Huh?” I turn back to him. “Is this how we’re going to be??”
“Yeah like, polite. And you trying to escape me every ten minutes.”
Oh. He noticed.
“Uhm, no?”
“Is that a question?”
“Well,” I bite my lip. I was nervous suddenly, facing this very confident and confrontational and cute as hell Harry. “How do you want to be?”
“How we used to? Best friends?”
“I mean, can we? After everything?”
“I hope so,” Harry runs a hand down his face. “I was too proud the last time you saw me. I said some stuff I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for what I did to you.”
“No I’m sorry,” I confess, relieved to be able to. “If you were too proud, then I was too confused. I didn’t know what I wanted. I lashed out too, and some of the stuff you said was right.”
“Was it? Say that again please?” Harry gives me a cheeky grin.
“Shut up!“ I hit him on the chest playfully. “That isn’t going to get a repeat.”
“Too bad,” Harry pretends to look upset.
We fall into silence once more but it’s not as awkward. The room is small we just sort of study each other.
“So, friends again?” Harry holds his hand out.
“C’mere you idiot,” I take the step forward and wrap my arms around his waist. I fit here. Right here. Oh my god I missed this.
“Y/N,” Harry squeezes me. “I miss us.”
“I know,” I squeeze him back. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“I’m glad you forgave me,” he whispers back to me.
“I’m glad you forgave me,” I whisper back.
A knock on the door breaks up apart. But we stay arm’s length from one another.
“I can tell you’ve changed,” he taps a knuckle to my nose. “I’m proud of you Y/N. I saw you on TV when I came back. I jumped up so quickly I scared my mum.”
“Aw.” I try not to blush. “You’ve changed too. I like this calm and collected and mature Harry. He’s cool!”
“I was always calm and collected and mature,” Harry says as I open the door. The person on the other side looks between both of us but we’re too busy bantering to notice.
“You think burping at me is funny.”
“It is!” Harry wraps both his arms around my shoulder from behind as we walk.
“So you haven’t actually changed,” I look up at him behind me. “Good to know.”
“Look at us,” Harry says. “Two nexus beings finding each other again.”
“We’ve just altered the timeline becoming friends again!” I laugh.
We bump into Frank then, and he looks visibly relieved that we made up. I can tell by the way he studies us he’s trying to figure out if anything more happened but as Harry keeps his arm draped around me, and teases me like before, I watch his expression clear as he realizes we just made up as friends.
It’s not disappointing. I missed Harry more than I thought, just being able to laugh with him means more to me than any kiss would. I stare at him longer than I should, and when he holds my hand as we leave the party my stomach flutters. But I don’t think too hard about it. He was back in my life. I was happy.
2 months later:
“I brought the good stuff,” Harry holds up three bottles of wine in my doorway.
“Then you better hurry in!” I open the door wider to let him in.
“These are for the lovely host,” Harry hands me a bouquet of flowers when I meet him in the kitchen.
“Oh my god,” I bury my face in them. “These are so lovely. Thank you H.”
I lean up to kiss his cheek. These were the little things that always took me by surprise when Harry did them ever since we started talking again. It reminded me that he did some growing while we were apart.
Not that the old Harry wouldn’t have got me flowers. But he wouldn’t have thought to bring them for me for our belated Christmas party. It was hard to explain, the changes were subtle but Harry was growing into a man. Finally.
“What are you smiling about?” Harry asks.
“I’m making fun of you in my head,” I tell him as I bring out a vase for the flowers.
“Stop that,” he surveys my dinner table. “Or I’ll take those flowers back.”
“No,” I hold them close. “Can you help out with the roast? It just needs to be taken out of the oven.”
“Yeah!” Harry helps me finish up the dinner. It was the week between Christmas and New Year’s and I’d wanted to throw a Christmas dinner for my friends. He agreed to come early for this, but we finish quicker and have a half hour to spare.
“So Y/N,” Harry says suddenly serious after we sit for a break. I still had to get into my outfit but I had to catch my breath first.
“So Harry,” I joke to ease the serious undertone that had creeped in. I stretch my legs out on the sofa. Harry sits on the floor beside me, so I turn to my side so we’re at eye-level.
“Did you hear about Frank?” Harry picks at a stray fibre on the cushion.
“Frank? No? What happened?!”
“Ah,” he leans back and closes his eyes. He says more to himself: “Of course.”
“The suspense is killing me here! Is he cancelling or something?”
I’d only invited Harry, Frank and his girlfriend, my neighbour, and 3 others. Already my neighbour cancelled for being sick. I had too much food for another cancellation.
“He’s engaged Y/N,” Harry finally looks at me. “He proposed on Christmas Eve.”
“Oh!” I stare at Harry, frozen as a roller coaster of emotions rides through my system in 10 seconds. It had been 5 days. “Wha-why didn’t he tell me?”
“I dunno, maybe he was going to tell you in person today?”
“Did he tell you in person?”
“No,” he places a hand on my leg. “He sent a picture. But maybe it’s just given your guys’ history-“
“But we’re old news. History. Literal history. Does he think I’ll be offended?”
“Are you offended?”
I pause. “That he didn’t tell me yeah a bit.”
“Y/N,” Harry shakes my leg. “Are you alright?”
“Yeah I-“ I think about it before I answer. I wasn’t jealous. Frank and I were over. His new girlfriend clearly made him happy—he found what he wanted.
“What?” Harry asks gently.
“I’m not jealous or anything. I don’t care but a small part of me looks back on us and is like…if he wanted to he would. Right?”
“Half your relationship happened when you two were students,” Harry knew what I was talking about.
“That’s true. But we had years after too. It just makes me think how long we held onto each other because we didn’t know better. It took him less than a year to propose to her!”
“Don’t look at it like wasted time-“
“I’m not!” I reassure him. “It was some of the greatest moments of my early 20s with the three of us. I guess when you know, you know.”
“Yeah,” Harry had started rubbing my leg to soothe me. “Good. Are you sure you’re alright?”
“Yeah. M’good thanks for telling me beforehand. You’re a good friend.”
If he hadn’t, I know it would have gotten awkward. Because even though I truly was happy for them, it was a bit awkward to find out and react live like that.
“Just pretend it’s the first time you heard when he tells you?” Harry asks.
“Yeah I won’t blow your cover.” I smile. He doesn’t smile back.
“You’re really over him?” he asks instead. “It doesn’t bother you at all?”
I only realize how seriously he is when I look at him, he still believed I was hung up over Frank?
“Harry what? You know I’m over that. We broke up over a year ago-“
“Yeah but when we came to see you-“
“Oh my god that was just two exes finding comfort in each other! We were both obviously lonely. And confused probably.”
I laugh but Harry doesn’t. His hand on my leg stops and so I lay mine on top of his.
We both know why Harry’s so invested, he’s showing me he still cares. But neither of us make a move. I don’t know why we were equally scared, but we stay that way.
Until my phone buzzes. We jump apart at the sudden sound and I scramble for it to help with the obvious tension that had just filled the air.
“Everyone’s nearly here!” I get up. “I need to get ready! Can you let them in when they arrive?”
“Sure. Yeah, get ready.” Harry waves me off. I rush to my room and slip into the sweater dress I’d left out. I do a quick mascara and blush as I hear the guests arrive. When I come out everyone has a glass of wine and I greet them all with a hug.
“I’m so happy everyone could make it!” I say to the small group. I point out the appetizers and get to mingling. Everyone gets along well and I happily host with some help from Harry. I can sense Frank and his girlfriend, or now fiancé, eyeing me.
At the dinner table everyone tucks in. The drinks flow and so does the conversation. Until Frank clears his throat.
“We have some news,” Frank says. We all look expectantly at him and he holds up his fiancé’s hand. “We got engaged.”
“Oh my gosh! Congratulations!” I gush, with just enough enthusiasm that I can see them visibly relax. Everyone fawns over the ring. I get up to hug them both and say another congrats. I make eye contact with Harry as I sit back down and he anchors me. He was the reason things stay awkward-free. I loved him for that.
The night continues and by the time it’s midnight mostly everyone is drunk. They file out slowly and I’m left with the usual three. Well, four now.
“So when did you tell her?” Frank asks when his fiancé excuses herself before they leave.
“What?” Harry asks.
“Tell me what?” I act equally confused.
“C’mon you two. Harry you told her before we came right?”
“Tell me what?” I ask.
“My news! My engagement! I’m not crazy I know you told her.”
“I didn’t say a word mate,” Harry swears. “Why would I tell her your news?”
Frank looks at me suspiciously but I put on my best innocent face. He shakes his head when we hears his fiancé come back and they leave with a final hug. As soon as the door closes behind them, Harry and I break out into a fit of giggles.
“D’you think he bought it?” Harry whispers.
“I don’t think so.” I whisper back.
“Why are we whispering?”
“I don’t know!” this sends me into another round of laughter.
“Harry I need to get hydrated and go to bed,” I wipe my tears away when I get ahold of myself. “I’m losing it.”
“Here,” Harry gets up from where we’d crouched down to and helps me up. I lean into his chest as we have one last chuckle.
“You get yourself cleaned and I’ll clean up here.”
“No!” I wave his help away. “I’ll clean tomorrow. You can pour another drink if you want. But don’t worry about the mess!”
“Just get in there,” Harry pushes me to the bathroom and I don’t have any fight left in me. I can hear him loading the dishes and I thank the universe for giving me someone like him.
By the time I scrub my day off and change into cozy flannels, Harry had loaded the dishes, put away any leftover food that hadn’t been given away, and wiped down the counters.
“You. Are. An angel.” I put my hands on either side of his face. “I love you.”
The words come out quicker than I could process. We both freeze.
“Uhh,” he coughs out a laugh. I drop my hands. “I am an angel aren’t I?”
“Tonight yeah,” so we were going to play the avoidance card.
It’s not like I’d never said those words to him before. I’d said it a million times. But not since before.
“I’ll just use the toilet myself, before I go.”
“Oh yeah,” I move aside so he can go past. I didn’t want him to go, yet things had taken a turn for the awkward and I felt an anxious energy flood me.
I pick at the dinner table, gathering the spare decorations I’d placed. Giving my hands something to do because Harry was going to come out any second now and I’d have to look him in the face after the moment we just had.
What was wrong with us? We obviously liked the other person! No one was making the first move and everything was just suspended in jello!
That does it, I decide. I was going to give him a piece of my mind!!
“Y/N,” Harry had come out while I was lost in thought. He stands on the other side of the table.
“Are you leaving?” I accuse.
“I was.” He licks his lips and looks away. “But I can’t leave like this. Look.”
He walks around to me and holds me hand. “You know I love you. With my whole heart. I don’t know why I was so weird back then.”
He cups my face, the same way I did before and my mental declarations fall like the last leaves of November. “I love you.”
An emotion sticks in my throat and I try to push it down to ask him as what? What did he love me as? I needed to know. But it’s too big to go down, and my eyes well with tears instead.
“C’mon,” he wipes a stray tear with his thumb. “I’ve said it a million times. You’re not crying are ya?”
“No,” I say as more tears streak down my face. My lip juts out and it makes Harry laugh. He wraps me into him.
“When did you become such a baby?”
“I’m not a baby!” I say into his chest.
“Shh you big baby,” he pats my hair down and it makes me giggle. He pulls me away and grins, he looks extraordinarily beautiful in this moment and I feel my breath catch. “We got a laugh out of her!”
“Leave me alone,” I cross my arms.
His smile fades. “D’you want me to?”
“No!” I hug him again. “I like it here.”
“Y/N-“ he hesitates. I lift my face to look up, resting my chin on his chest. “I can’t lose you again.”
He was rejecting me. He wanted to stay friends. Oh. The tears threaten up again and I take a step back. “Oh.”
“No no,” he pulls me back. “Listen to me. I can’t lose you again. D’you understand?”
His serious gaze disrupts a migration of butterflies somewhere inside me. When did my Harry become this handsome gentleman?
When you let him go.
I battle my thoughts as they try sabotage the good thing in front of me.
“What?” Harry cups my cheek. He knew the internal battle going on of course.
“I don’t,” I close my eyes against his gentle touch. “I don’t want to hold you back.”
“Are you mental? You make me want to be better Y/N. I wouldn’t be who I am without you.”
“Really?” I ask. His forehead touches mine.
“Really,” he swipes another tear that had fallen without permission. “You’re everything to me Y/N. I want you to be around all the time. You don’t know how many times when I was in Australia I wanted to pick up my phone and send you something I knew you would find funny. It was painful every time I could. I don’t ever want to lose you ever again.”
“Me neither,” I blubber. I felt the same way when I was in America.
“You’re crying a lot for a nice moment,” Harry teases. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes!” I cry/laugh. “I don’t know why I’m being so emotional!”
He presses his lips gently to my cheeks. I’m light-headed as his lips move down to my own. I’ve never felt more complete than in this moment. I’ve never felt more whole in my life. It feels like coming home after a long journey, like finding your person in a crowd and saying ah there you are. It was better than being on stage with the sound of applause deafening your eardrums. It was everything.
1-ish year later:
Harry clutches my hand as we rush to the church, running late because he had woken up with a blemish that he’d made worse the more he tried to take care of it. I tried not to get annoyed, instead I lent him some makeup and we panicked all the way here.
“Has it started?” Harry shouts back at me as we climb the steps. I check the time, by some miracle we were only 6 minutes late.
“Probably!” I say. I was disgustingly out of breath but Harry waits for me at the top. We enter the lobby and peek into the ceremony. Frank stands up front but there’s buzzing in the pews. “Oh thank god!”
“Perfect place to do it,” Harry jokes as he opens the door and we walk in. Frank looks relieved when he spots his best man walking to him. He waves at me and I mouth good luck to him.
I wish Harry was beside me as the ceremony starts. Frank tears up as his bride walks up the aisle and it’s crazy to me how I once upon a time thought that would be me walking up to him one day. Harry catches my eye and squints, I was tearing up. Because now I imagined walking up to him one day. The true love of my life.
Vows are exchanged and the newlyweds dance down the aisle. We see them off and when I turn to Harry he kisses me with a ferocious passion.
“Woah,” I pat his tie when I catch my breath. “What was that for?”
“I just love you so much,” he kisses my forehead. “I’m going to marry you one day.”
I melt at his words, it had been over a year since we got together but I fell more and more in love with him every day. I can’t believe he was right there all along and I found him so late.
“Let’s get in there and do it now,” I say mock-seriously. But Harry believes me.
“Really? Now?!”
“No,” I peck his cheek. “But I’m just waiting for the question. Then I will happily marry you anywhere.”
“There’s a question?” Harry plays stupid.
“I’ll let you figure that one out!” I walk down the steps towards our ride. We had a reception to get to. On time.
The reception is at a gorgeous venue nearby that sparkles on every surface. I congratulate the newlyweds a million times and watch my drink since I told Harry he didn’t have to drive. He was a funny drunk, very affectionate, and I didn’t mind.
“There’s my future wife,” Harry locates me near the end of the night.
“We were just dancing together,” I put my arm around him.
“Itsa last slow song,” he pulls me to the dancefloor where all the couples sway with each other. I put my arms around Harry and do the same b
“You’re pretty drunk,” I whisper in his ear.
“I know. Last drink.” He slurs. “Y’know I love you s’much. I’m keeping you forever.”
“That’s a relief,” I tease. “I thought we had an expiry.”
“No!” Harry pulls back enough to look at me. “Never!”
“I know,” I twirl the hair at the nape of his neck. “It’s forever.”
“Yeah,” Harry gazes at me lovingly and I admire him the same.
“I’m so lucky to have you,” I tell him. “I’m so lucky you stuck around.”
“I’m the lucky one,” Harry slurs.
“Let’s dance,” I rest my head on his chest and we continue swaying. His heart beats steadily underneath and I’m so grateful for him. I feel like going back just to tell myself that I would be dancing romantically with my best friend at my boyfriend’s wedding in a few year’s time. That everything I knew was about to crumble underneath me but I would build it back up stronger than ever. I wish I could tell her to not be afraid, two was company and it would be the best kind yet.
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Monthly special: Variable Barricade crossover!
I'm finally done with it! For now it doesn't differ much from the game, really I was rewriting the scenes more than anything but I'm glad it's finally done. It might be weird for now but honestly I just can't wait to get to write the romance!
Taglist: @audre-falrose
If you want to join the taglist just send an ask or dm me!
Reader here is female and has established background.
Cw: Age gap (Reader is 18 and the ladies are ages 20-24)
Next chapter =>
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A young woman from a wealthy family always seeks a spouse who is of an equal status or preferably higher. At least that's what you always liked to believe…
As the only heir of the L/N family, you had your fair share of responsibilities. Marriage just happened to be on the higher priority list. It was expected of you. You had to pick yourself a man or allow your family to pick him for you.
It was a lot to agree to, given you never had any interest in men. Oh how you remember those meetings with businessmen who tried to match you with their sons. While not all of them were that bad it didn't change the fact that you ever only saw yourself beside a woman.
But you can't have everything in this world, so you've accepted the fact that your love life might never be fulfilling to you.
… but you were never so clueless about the upcoming storm.
Part one: chapter 1- Engagement at the first sight.
"Good morning miss Y/N" your maid greeted you with a practiced smile.
"Good morning"
"I've prepared your bag for today, is there anything else you require?"
"No, that will be all. Thank you" taking your bag you realized that it's slightly heavier than normal, but it's likely due to the extra materials you had prepared for the start of the semester. As a soon to be heir you've attended a prestigious school, it almost feels weird how close you are to graduation- where all of your actual responsibilities will begin.
Before your mind drifted away fully you've heard a familiar voice "Good morning my lady, I trust you're ready for school? You still have a few more minutes before we have to go" turning around you saw Thoma. He was one of many servants, but he was unlike all of them. He was your true ally… but even if you hold him in such high regard he had recently abandoned you as soon as your vacation had started. Granted his trip was purely to perfect his skills as a butler, but he still decided to hide his information from you until the very moment of his departure. So naturally you were mad at him, while being happy to see him at the same time.
"Good morning to you too Thoma" you looked at him, more glared almost like you wanted to tell him that he should've come to greet you earlier and that you were still mad about what he had hidden from you. He of course immediately caught on.
"I'm not sure how many times must I apologize to you miss, but I only wish for you to understand that-"
"Yes, I'm aware that grandfather had arranged it" you cut him off, as you heard this explanation before on more than one occasion. You definitely could see that villain plot something just to inconvenience you- but that's just how your grandfather was. Always ready to make your life ever so harder.
"I'm quite flattered that you missed me so much, but can we please move past it?" of course he was right about you missing him but all you could say was "It's not about me missing or not missing you, it's how you abandoned your duties without notice" although your words were harsh Thoma could see right through you, he always did but he didn't have a habit of arguing with you about your intentions "I see, in that case I stand corrected" although his smile was polite you could feel the smugness behind it. Almost like he was saying "we both know you're lying" but not in a very malicious way.
He knew that you felt hurt, betrayed even but there was nothing he could do when it was your grandfather's orders. It would be nice if someone took your feelings over orders though “No matter what my reasons are, I’m sure you agree that you ought to make it up to me” you said as your mood got a little brighter.
"Naturally, I don't intend to leave like that again so it shouldn't be a problem" he affirmed before continuing "We should get moving now, you wouldn't want to be late now would you?" there was no room for a disagreement from you so the two of you left your family estate.
-
After getting in the car there was only silence. The atmosphere wasn't tense at all, yet you felt like something big was going to happen today. Thoma had avoided your gaze which made you wonder if he wasn't hiding anything from you again. Last time when he had that trip planned he also tried to avoid looking at you, so you became a little suspicious "Thoma?" you got his attention "Yes my lady?"
"Do we have anything scheduled for today? I was hoping to go out with Ayaka" you knew asking directly was pointless but you made sure to emphasize "we", it was so he knew that you planned to take him with you like any other time.
"I'm afraid today won't work, master L/N wanted to speak with you today. My apologies for not mentioning it sooner, but I thought it'd save you some stress while at school" he sighed as you knew that he felt bad for you. You froze in place as you thought about having to deal with that old man "Do you have any idea what that might be about?" you asked, trying to hide your distaste "I do, but I was asked to not mention it to you" he said equally disappointed. Of course nobody had to know if he told you right here and there, but knowing what he knew he definitely didn't want to be the one to break it to you.
You sighed and before you knew it you were at the academy. It was an all girls school, where everyone comes from rich and influential families. You politely exchanged greetings to each girl you've passed. You didn't know them all but you knew better than to ignore them.
"Good morning Y/N" finally you were greeted by a familiar face "Good morning to you too Ayaka"
"You seem worried, is something on your mind?"
"I'll have to wonder all day what my grandfather is plotting" you sighed heavily. To give you some comfort Ayaka placed her hand on your shoulder "I'm sure you'll be alright. I don't think there's anything he can say that you can't handle"
"Let's just hope you're right…" it's not that you had no faith in yourself. It's more that it's him you're dealing with.
"You know, your grandfather isn't such a villain. From the times I've spoken to him nothing seems to make him out half as evil as you make him out to be" you heard that from more than one person whenever they know what you think of him. You thought if anyone- Ayaka would be different.
"Perhaps because he meets levels of basic decency with guests?" it was but a common sense to not disrespect members of the Kamisato family.
"How about Thoma? How does your grandfather treat him?" she asked, but she looked like she already knew the answer.
You on the other hand weren't exactly sure "You'd have to ask him yourself" to Ayaka you aren't a perfect liar, so she'd easily see through all of that. So making up an answer wouldn't do you any good.
"Well, at least they have one in common" she smiled and all you could do is look at her confused.
"And what could that be? How can a rude old man be compared to someone like Thoma?"
"Both of them certainly care much about your well being. You may not believe it but each time I chat with your grandfather he'd talk about you. And not in a way you'd assume"
"Oh really? I'd have to hear it to believe it"
"Of course he has a habit of throwing the word ''foolish'' pretty often. But besides that little detail I think anyone can agree that he doesn't mean any harm to you. Honestly I envy how casually you can speak to him"
"I wouldn't call arguments ''casual speech''"
"I suppose we just have different view on the matter" she looks away and when things were getting a little awkward she said "Regardless, I think you shouldn't worry so much about what he has to say"
-
You stood up to each challenge the universe had in stock for you for today. It allowed you to feel more confident about today's meeting. But as the day wasn't over so were your challenges.
There was a big commotion outside "What's going on over there?" you wondered "I have no idea" Ayaka looked just as confused as you "Nobody does. All we know is that there are four women by the gate, they all look so classy! I wonder what they are looking for" a student joined your conversation.
No matter what their business was, you had to go back home so you went towards the gate. You saw the ladies and they seem to have their eyes on you. When you were close enough to approach they all blocked your path. Before you could ask them what's going on they all took out roses and all of them said "Marry me" at the same time.
"Did you hear that?" "Did they say marry?" "I didn't know L/N had such tastes…" and other whispers could be heard from the students who all watched the situation unfold.
You didn't know what to say- but then again you weren't proposed to a bunch of gorgeous women on a daily basis. After taking a moment you were able to respond "Is this some kind of a joke… or a uh… misunderstanding maybe? Surely you all didn't just propose to me" you tried to be as calm as you could get.
"My, my the old guy was right- your reaction would be priceless indeed" one of them said, she had light pink hair the rose she was holding had almost the same color.
"To think you'd be so cold about the rejection, I can't let that slide. I'll have my vengeance" the one that had threatened you had beautiful golden eyes the rose she held was a strong shade of red.
"Although I should feel relieved at my rival dropping her chances this early, I insist that you'll stop yourself from making such threats miss Eula" another one spoke up. She was dressed the most formally among the group and her rose was white and elegant much like herself.
"You're making a scene here, the poor girl must be so confused" the last one finally spoke. She had a mysterious aura around her much like a dark purple rose she was holding. Although it was nice that she took your feelings into consideration you still had no idea what was happening.
You looked around trying to notice some hidden cameras or something that'd indicate that what's happening to you is just some sick joke. Or at least you were hoping to see Thoma- who could get you out of here.
“What are you looking for? If you think it’s some prank you’re mistaken my dear, everything you see here is very much real” the first one spoke up again. Her speaking so bluntly helped you adjust to the reality, you definitely can handle such forward strangers “May I ask who are you ladies exactly? Could you please tell me how you know me and what’s the meaning behind your sudden proposal? Do you even have permission to be here in the first place?” you said as you were surprised nobody reacted to strangers blocking the gate without any problems from the security.
"Alright then let's start with a simple introduction" the woman who earlier tried to put herself in your shoes spoke but before anyone could follow that you heard "I believe that won't be necessary" turning around you saw Thoma who continued "There will be plenty of time for that later. Miss Y/N, we must get going" he turned to the women "As for you, we'll meet at our arranged spot" he definitely knew what was going on. But before you made yourself into any bigger fool you waited until you got into a car.
"Before you lash out on me I told Master that it was a terrible idea" he said equally as annoyed as you were "I can't believe it! He really went through that knowing how you'd react" that was surprising, you don't usually see Thoma snap like this. He cleared his throat "But I suppose he'll explain everything to you once we get back to the estate" with that you stayed quiet. You were just speechless. Not only because of what happened but also because of how Thoma handled it. You don't remember seeing him this angry before.
-
Upon your arrival the silence still wasn't broken. You went ahead to meet with your grandfather, with each step you knew that whatever he had planned you're not going to like what you're about to hear.
"Y/N it's been a while" he said almost like he was proud of his little plan.
"It wasn't long enough" you said coldly.
"Haha! Wanted more time to miss me?"
"Indeed I did, perhaps that way I'd be able to forget how exhausting it is to talk to you" although it's annoying sometimes talking to your grandfather has proven to be a good practice for when someone tries to get on your nerves, at least it's easier to react without losing yourself.
But your sarcastic attacks have ended and with it silence filled the room. You felt tense and you had waited for him to explain himself but losing your temper and focus now will only lead to his victory. You can't possibly allow that "Well then, what was the reason for you to see me?"
"Didn't you figure it out already? I want you to tell me what do you think of the four women I chose for you" blunt as always. He always has to hit you with such a lack of tact. His voice was impatient but you were only surprised to hear that he was the one who chose your suitors.
"Excuse me…?" you panicked as you connected the dots. He knew. He knew without you ever telling him.
"I trust they were all to your liking? I'm sure you at least agree that they are beautiful indeed" his smug smile knew no bounds.
"Just wait a moment! What was the reason for you choosing women as my possible marriage candidates!?" this definitely was a joke on his part, a way to taunt you. Perhaps he set that up as a reminder that he had chosen for you and you had no say in the matter, you were only allowed a choice. The first wave was just a prank and the actual candidates might be some guys. That must be it!
"Did I read the signs wrong? Do you want me to match you with men instead?" this threw your possible theory out of the window.
"Yes!... I mean… not exactly… Just think what scandals might arise from that!" although you were happy about not being matched with men, you were still bothered by the entire situation so maybe if you bring it up it'll save you some time. That way you may be able to find someone on your own.
"Oh please we're not in the times where such things matter anymore. I thought I was supposed to be the old fashioned one" the way he said it made your blood boil. He never could take your concerns seriously now could he?
"Alright, I see your point… how long did you know?" you wanted to know how obvious you were. Perhaps he was more observant and caring than you thought. After all, he did you a huge favor by finding those ladies.
"I'd say quite a lot. I thought I was doing you a favor by sending you to an all girls school, but of course you'd miss an occasion like that. You could find yourself quite a bride but since you took your sweet time I had to step in" to say it made you mad is saying little.
"What do you mean by that? WHO asked something like that of you!? I certainly didn't. It's far too early for me!" you lost it. Everything felt so scary since your future is about to be decided at this very moment. All your grandfather did was sigh "I thought you already were aware that for you finding a suitable spouse is important"
"I do but I believe I have the right to make that choice on my own at my own time!" at least that's what you were told.
"And how would you go about it? By refusing to speak to anyone who isn't a business associate like you always do?" although you didn't want to agree, he was right about your total lack of social skills. As you didn't respond to his question he continued "Look, you don't have to make this choice right now. You'll have plenty of time to get accustomed to them and you can have a lot of time before you come to your final choice. Not only that if you wish to have someone else as your possible suitor just say the word and it'll be arranged" he sounded much less condescending now but after that he stood up to leave "Whatever you do the choice is yours to make"
You stayed in the room in silence, thinking over everything you discussed. Your train of thought however was stopped by Thoma who just entered “So… How did it go?” he was awfully casual but you didn’t mind it at that moment. You needed that, honestly if he asked you in some trained butler way or whatever you'd honestly lose it "You can probably imagine… not very well. I need to rest" you just wanted to go to your room and let this day be over with just so you could think it through. But you'd seen the awkward look on his face and you knew that you won't be done with today's disappointments “I’m afraid the surprises aren’t over yet for you my lady, from this day forward you won’t be living here”
"... What?" you weren't ready for something like that. You didn't even have the energy to say anything more.
"A vacation home is prepared where you'll live with the suitors" with that you recall him mentioning arranged spot. It made you realize that perhaps you knew all along what will happen next but you were just hoping to deny it…
-
You stood in front of a vacation home. Still in shock you had no clue what to say, you weren't here before so Thoma started to tell you about it. He sounded like he wanted to calm you down "The building has three floors. The first one is a common area, second is your suitors' rooms, where the third floor can only be accessed by us" it didn't help much but knowing you'll have some privacy was making the situation from totally unbearable to slightly less totally unbearable "I know it's tough but you must understand that escaping reality will not solve the issue"
"I know that… it's just…" you were too frustrated to find the words.
"If anything happens you know you can talk to me. I'll make sure you'll feel safe so should any of those women try anything I'll see to it that they'll be gone" he reassured you "Now, follow me" inviting you to follow him was like a gentle push into the unknown, then again you won't be alone at any point. So taking a deep breath you go inside.
"Before… uhm… I go to them… can I at least go to my room and change?" you found excuse with your uniform. Thoma smiled at you but before he said anything you heard footsteps.
"Greetings, I heard the door open so I thought it'd be nice to say hi" the girl standing in front of you had dark hair, if you remember correctly it was the one holding the purple rose. Regardless you were still a little stressed "Seems I had a bad timing… sorry about that. I'll let the others know and we'll wait for you okay?" she waited for your response but all you could do was nod. It seems like she didn't need anything more. After she left you asked Thoma to show you to your room where you got ready to see your suitors.
-
"Look who's finally here" the woman with pink hair said with a teasing voice.
"It took a while but it sure was worth the wait. After all seeing such a gem is a treat" although all of the ladies changed that one still remained in rather elegant and formal clothing.
"At least you didn't run away this time" the one who had threatened you before seemed annoyed. But such remarks made you feel the same. It wasn't that you ran away, you were forced to leave! But who is she to judge you anyways?
"It's good to see you aren't as nervous" the one who greeted you by the door smiled but her bringing that up caused the first lady to giggle "Oh that wasn't fair how you got to get to greet Y/N in our place. I definitely would love to see the look on her face now that you mention it"
"What can I say, I was the first one to get there on time"
"It was more that you left without any of us noticing" it seemed like an argument was going to burst out at any moment.
"Let's get to introductions, shall we?" Thoma finally spoke up.
"I'm Eula, you better not forget it" she didn't waste a moment to introduce herself. Considering her behavior towards you so far you wonder what she is doing here in the first place.
"Miko, but soon you'll get the privilege to call me your wife" you finally had a name to connect to that smug smile she displayed so far. She could see that her remark wasn't exactly serious but you could tell that she was here to "win".
"My name is Ningguang. I hope our odd circumstances won't make it hard for you to talk to me" she, just like Miko looked like she was here to "win" but her behavior towards you was different. She was less cocky but not any less confident.
"You can call me Yelan, you'll have to wait to learn more about me later though" from the four she seemed the most concerned about your situation. At the same time she wasn't open about herself at all. Perhaps it was a strategy for you to get interested in her.
But listening to all those introductions it felt awfully weird how all of them were so casual about the whole situation. They also seemed rather close even though they aren't living together for long.
"I hope you don't mind me asking but have you always been friends?"
"Not at all, but after living for a month you could say we got close. Still having Thoma around did make things easier" Yelan said and you immediately glared at Thoma.
"So you lied to me after all!" you didn't take even a second to call him out.
"I'm truly sorry but I couldn't-!"
"Now dear, no need to start an argument here. I'm sure you can tell he had no choice in the matter" Miko was right. But it didn't take away your shock- yet she continued "Let's just calm down okay? I know you're confused but all of us need to adjust to the situation. Of course our circumstances aren't the same but I say we make the best of it"
"Exactly, I'm sure you will pleasantly surprised once you get to know us" Yelan added
"If any of them will be too pushy I'll make sure to kick them out for you" Eula said, although Thoma said just the same thing earlier.
"The only person being pushy right now is you. Give her a breathing room, would you?" although Ningguang was talking to Eula, she was looking at you.
Now that you think of it all of them are looking at you. Perhaps they think that what they've said gained them some points in some made up game where you react positively to their words. You just stood there dazed as you realized that you are now but a prize to be won by these women.
-
After that conversation you went back to your room. Your brain jumps from one topic to another. You never felt this lost. You looked at your phone and remembered that there is one person you can rely on right now. Unlike Thoma, Ayaka won't have any classified information and she surely will listen to you. As you were about to call her you heard a knock on your door "My lady?" the only one who could be there was Thoma. You were still mad at him and you thought it'd be a good time to ignore him. Either that or you'd give him a piece of your mind. After all, your previous argument was cut short. So after thinking of the pros and cons of letting him in- you open the door.
Of course knowing him he didn't come empty handed, he had a tray with tea and your favorite snacks. With an apologetic smile you knew he was trying, but he needed to try more than that to make you forgive him.
"Don't I deserve an explanation first? Or do you take me as some sort of child who will trade her forgiveness for just a bunch of sweets?" you cross your arms. As you stared at him though you felt a little guilty for being so harsh on him.
"Are you really that mad at me…?" he was hurt, but so were you.
"Do you think I have no reason to?" you knew he didn't think that. But by underestimating how betrayed you felt he deserved your cold treatment.
"We both know I'd be lying if I said no…"
"So, are you going to make any excuses?"
"Well, Miss Yae was correct when she said I had no say in the matter. As a mere butler I can't do a lot"
"I know that" it was the truth after all. Perhaps you got used to Thoma always putting you first so much that when he took your grandfather's orders over your feelings you felt surprised. Even though it was normal and very much expected of him as a butler of L/N family… but not expected as your ally "Couldn't you at least warn me? Or not so subtly hint at what's going to happen?"
"I really wanted to, but if I did then they'd fire me" he said it so calmly, it made it clear that to him that choice wasn't hard at all "I wasn't even the one who had to come up with the excuses, but I must admit that today I had to improvise a little. Which didn't let me feel any less guilty I'll have you know" he sighed "But when they threatened my ability to work with you I knew there was no other option"
"To think they'd go that far…" and all that for what? A moment of surprise? Or perhaps there were many reasons you yet have to discover. Suddenly your anger went away from him and went towards your family who'd arrange such a thing.
"No matter what my situation was, what I did harmed you. So as a friend I want to apologize" you really liked the sound of that. After so many years you'd feel odd if your relationship had only the professional side of things. Still, such a statement out of nowhere caught you off guard.
"Uhm… As a friend, I accept your apology" you paused "But now that you don't have to hide anything anymore… care to tell me why now I was assigned suitors?"
"It definitely wasn't out of nowhere if that's what you're thinking. Recently a lot of men showed interest in you. The amount of letters only grew with each month over the past year. Usually what you got to see was filtered to say the least"
"I see, but I still don't understand why that should mean that I'll have suitors arranged right away"
"You see… uh how should I put this… It's more about pressure coming from your extended family"
"Oh. So that's why huh?" of course your "lovely" relatives are behind such a thing.
"That's right, I don't think it's in my place to mention it but they said they rather proceed with caution when it comes to leaving you to your own"
"I see, so they're just doing everything they can to make sure I can't elope" it wasn't unimaginable for them to think you'd do that. But it was your father who didn't accept his fate as an heir. You on the other hand were aware of what you're getting yourself into since day one "It's a shame that they still don't trust me. I know what my duties are"
"It's not all of them who think so I'll have you know, just a loud bunch who insisted on it" he sighed "But they were loud enough for Master to do something about it"
"... Wait! Doesn't that mean…" if these ladies were accepted by both your relatives and grandfather then surely they'd be qualified enough. Most certainly they had some character so you wouldn't be surprised to learn that they're high class "Hm… I should've guessed that highly born women would be slightly different from my previous possible suitors. I'll have to make sure to treat them well"
"Oh…" he suddenly looked nervous and avoided eye contact.
"Thoma… what is it?"
"It's a bit hard to describe-"
"Thoma. You weren't supposed to hide things regarding my suitors anymore"
"I think it's better if you see it for yourself, give me a moment. I'll be right back" this definitely didn't sound good. You waited for Thoma to come back and in the meantime you became increasingly nervous. When he knocked again at your door you opened it right away.
"These are their background reports…"
Hesitantly you took the documents. Confused as to why it'd be a problem you started looking through them. You couldn't believe what you were reading. This is either some kind of joke or maybe wrong documents perhaps?
"Thoma… these background reports…"
"Are true…"
"Just hold on it can't be! If that old man wanted to play a sick joke on me, this is the time you tell me so!"
"That's not it my lady"
You felt like you were about to lose it, you looked at the documents again. You read them through but there is one thing that caught your eye in each one.
"Yae Miko, age 24…kept woman" the last thing you wanted is to be matched with someone whose job is to get taken care of. But perhaps she has something else going for her.
"Ningguang, age 22… Can't keep a job?" you have no idea if it means she's continuously getting fired or is she dropping out "She's unemployed?"
"All of them are…" you could hear that he felt bad for you.
"Great" you said sarcastically.
"Yelan, age 23…Gambler" ah yes because there is nothing better but a gambler in a rich family.
"Eula, age 20…Disowned by the Lawrence family" Although she was the closest to your age not only was she associated with that family she got disowned by them probably for a reason.
"How can this all be!?"
"Calm down Y/N-"
"Don't you dare to tell me to calm down! This is unthinkable, unimaginable! I don't even know what else to say to that" you were losing it, but it's not like Thoma chose your suitors so you realized taking it out on him won't do any good "Sorry, I just need to be alone right now. I need to think this through"
"Of course… but if you need me just say the word" he left the room without saying anything else.
It was a true nightmare. You had no idea why fate had such a thing for you prepared. And more importantly… WHY your suitors were some random women who definitely didn't have the qualifications to be involved with your family!? They were just looking for an easy life... This definitely wasn't how you imagined your marriage to be arranged.
... To be continued...
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suhnshinehaos · 2 years
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treacherous : act two, part fourteen
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...a spin-off to crush culture ! synopsis : after a couple of instances of accidental matching clothing, yangyang finds himself in a dating rumor with possibly the most famous person on campus : yn, the bassist of an up and coming band. yangyang doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. unfortunately yn, who has also built up a reputation for being cold as winter, does. pairing : liu yangyang x gn!reader genre/s : university au, student council + band au, fluff, angst, humor
act one, part fourteen : fight or flight wc : 1.6k
previous  ➤  act two, part thirteen next  ➤  act two, part fifteen treacherous  ➤  masterlist 
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your room is quiet, uncharacteristically so. at this time of the day, music would often fall on your ears. sometimes, it’s from your own playing. most of the time it’s from the bluetooth speaker that sat atop your desk, a soft melody accompanying you as you worked on whatever assignment you needed to accomplish for the day.
but a blank document stares back at you. your final semester has barely even started and you already feel like you were behind on work. your gaze flickers back and forth between your phone and your laptop. even on his busiest days, yangyang usually found the time to check in on you.
a sigh escapes your lips, picking your phone up as you contemplate on sending him a text message. truth be told, you already felt a bit apprehensive reaching out to him in the past few days only to receive no reply. you knew it was out of character for yourself, but you had gotten used to having yangyang around.
your text messages stare back at you, almost mocking in the lack of a response from the other end of the line. you shut your phone and place it back on the desk, closing your laptop immediately after; there was no way you’d get any work done, not with your current state of mind.
“what could i have done wrong?” you rub your temples, brows knitted together as you looked back on the past couple of weeks. as far as you knew, the two of you were okay. yangyang even insisted that you take a picture with him at the company party photobooth.
you pull out the drawer of your study table to find that very same photostrip. the corner of your mouth twitches upwards. yangayang pinches your cheek, the widest grin plastered on his face. you cover the entirety of his face with your hand, sending a smirk towards the camera. the two of you smile towards the camera, he has an arm draped on your shoulders and you hold a peace sign behind his tilted head.
what happened? you think to yourself, shutting the drawer. this isn’t like him, that much you knew.  
a quiet knock interrupts your train of thought, swivelling your chair towards the door. it’s not like you had to guess who it was anyways.
“what?”
the lack of emotion in your voice makes dejun raise a brow, “i’m guessing he hasn’t replied to any of your texts?”
“nope,” you groan, throwing your head back.
“why don’t you just call him?” dejun leans on the doorframe, crossing his arms in front of his chest, “what do you have to lose?”
“my pride.” you answer without an ounce of hesitation, though you’re sure that you had already lost some of it in your initial text messages. part of it felt pathetic, sending him all those texts to not get even a single response. you knew he was busy with council, and you were busy with the band. the two of you no longer shared a class either.
however, when you saw him make a hard left turn when you were coming down the halls, it became all too clear that he was intentionally avoiding you. the slight pang in your chest is undeniable.
dejun rolls his eyes, “what’s all that pride for when you have no contact with the person you like?”
an even louder groan leaves your lips. though it felt great to finally get it off your chest, you had been subject to an endless amount of teasing from your friends.
“did you come into my room to bother me?” you mutter, throwing a crumpled up post-it note right at him.
“actually, i came here to ask what you wanted to eat for dinner,” dejun chuckles, watching tiny yellow paper ball land by his feet, “just call him, yn. you’re not going to get anywhere trying to guess.”
“what if he doesn’t answer?”
“try again. when have you ever been the type to give up?”
“i gave up on sicheng, didn’t i?” you laugh, albeit bitterly. “is this what he felt when i cut him off?”
“you did it for a reason,” dejun speaks after a quiet sigh, “i don’t know what’s going on with yangyang, but he must have one too. and you’re never going to know unless you fight to find out.”
~
it’s been half an hour since the sun began its descent on the horizon, a yawn escapes yangyang as he locked the door to the council room. it was rare that he’d be the last one out, but he did ask renjun to give him an extra amount of work — which really just meant taking the work that renjun was supposed to do for himself. his friend did deserve the time off.
yangyang walks ncit’s streets in complete silence, his hands stuffed inside the pockets of his coat. he looks around at everyone else that walked the same streets, couples holding hands or friends that laughed together as they made their way to the nearest restaurant.
a dark blue sky hung above him as a headache creeped its way to his temples, yangyang attempts to blink it back to very little avail. times like this, he wishes he could hear your voice. it always made him feel better even on the longest of days.
but that was no longer an option for him.
his heart now clenches at the thought of you, an unwelcome change from its usual skipped beats. regret builds from the tips of his fingers to the pit of his stomach as he stops to look up at the sky. there is no moon to greet him.
a ringing phone interrupts the silence he was barely enjoying. perhaps it was the headache, maybe it was the exhaustion from the past few days, or an overwhelming mixture of both that made him forget to check the caller id.
“yangyang. why are you avoiding me?”
your voice fills his ears, and he could tell you’re trying your hardest not to let the annoyance slip through your words. he bites back the chuckle that formed on the tip of his tongue, you were never really one for small talk. always down to business. always straight to the point.
he feels his mouth dry up, all the words in his vocabulary get caught in the back of his throat. you don’t follow up on your question, no doubt waiting for him to explain himself. his feet are glued to the ground beneath them as his free hand clenches into a fist, fingernails digging into the skin of his palm. he wants to tell you, but he can’t.
yangyang reviews his choices : he tells you, and your manager finds out that he did, the band loses a label. he tells you, but you choose him and leave the label. the band might resent you, and you might end up resenting him. he tells you, and you don’t choose him. his heart breaks either way.
so he lets you know the one truth that he can afford to tell.
“i’m sorry, yn.”
it comes out in a breathy exhale, and though you’re not in front of him, yangyang still brings his gaze to his feet.
“what are you sorry for? i don’t understand…” your voice comes out more confused than angry or frustrated.
“i can’t do this anymore.”
“is it something that i did?”
“no, you didn’t do anything. i’m just tired of it all.”
the silence on the other end of the line is heavy, practically deafening. yangyang grips his phone tighter, preparing himself for the onslaught of enraged screams and insults that might be headed his way. he knows he deserves it for what he’s doing.
but it doesn’t come.
instead he hears your voice, low and quiet, but nonetheless sincere.
“but i like you, yangyang.”
his chest clenches when he hears your voice crack at his name, knuckles close to turning white. there is a word for what he feels for you. something a little stronger than the one you had just used. yangyang feels the tears that threatened to prick at the corners of his eyes, so he shuts them close. his lips press into a thin line, for fear that the very word might escape him.
“i’m sorry. please don’t contact me anymore.”
yangyang ends the call without another word and places his phone in his pocket. he wants to scream, but he bites his tongue. a single drop of rain falls on the top of his head, but he couldn’t care less even as more started to come down. his entire body feels numb and his feet begin to move on their own, but not towards the direction of his apartment.
he raises his fist to make three sharp knocks, wrapping his arms around himself for some semblance of warmth.
the door opens to reveal a very surprised renjun, who doesn’t even bother hiding the shock that’s plastered on his features. eyes wide, lips parted, brows raised as he blinked back at the sight on his doorstep. when it all sinks in, he couldn’t help but raise his voice, “what the fuck? did you just walk in the rain? what were you thinking? were you even thinking?”
yangyang doesn’t speak a single word, taking a couple steps towards renjun and resting his forehead on his friend’s shoulder. the tension in his body disappears, letting himself feel every ounce of pain as he screws his eyes shut.
“renjunie… what’s going on? who’s at the door?”
he hears a familiar voice call out from the living room, no doubt cc!yn’s. though he feels guilty for ruining their night, yangyang knew he needed his friends.
renjun sighs, placing a hand on yangyang’s back. his voice is softer, much more cautious, “come inside. you must be freezing.”
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from reese, with love <3 i am so sorry i promise to make it up to gy3 and gy3 nation..... just not in this act >_< final part of act two next, then i’ll be taking a little break :) thank you sm for reading! as always, i’d really love to know what you think! hope you’re all doing well and taking care of yourselves :))
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dragonsarecool · 8 months
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Febwhump Day 5 - Rope Burns
A/N: Cheating with this one slightly and changing it to duct tape burns/markings. Marty is the unfortunate target of a practical joke. Set prior to Part I.
Although he’d been working for Doc for a few months by now, Marty was still bearing the constant brunt of jokes and teasing about it. While the accusations and conspiracy theories had gotten to him on a few occasions, he’d gradually grown accustomed to hearing them almost every day from various classmates. Some told him he was just as insane as Doc, others flat out insulted him for being ‘nerdy enough’ to work for a scientist.
His favourite story was from a ninth grader who ranted about how Doc was really a cannibal who enjoyed consuming young boys, and was going to eat his flesh as part of an experiment. While Doc hadn’t found the story as funny he did - if anything, Doc was visibly disturbed by it - they had grown close enough to simply joke about how immature and ignorant the townsfolk were before carrying on with whatever invention Doc was tinkering with.
Eventually, it occurred to Marty on the final day of the semester that he’d gone an entire week without hearing anyone else talking about Doc. Although he felt secretly relieved that it had stopped, he found himself gazing at his classmates with suspicion as they departed his final class. What’s their deal? Could they be planning anything? Am I being paranoid?
He tried to push those thoughts to the side as he finishing packing up the books he needed over the break. Popping in a Huey Lewis cassette in his walkman, he allowed the music to fill his mind as he pushed off on his board, ignoring the stares that a handful of people were giving. Bunch of dorks…
____
“Hey Doc!” Marty locked the door behind him, placing his skateboard on top of the shoe rack. “You still want me today?”
“Yes, please! Come in! I’ve got a few things I need your help with,” Doc came rushing towards the front door, wiping grease from his hands on a dirty rag. “Your school break starts today, doesn’t it?”
“Technically yes,” Marty removed his headphones and unplugged them from the walkman. “Not sure this break will be any different this time, though,”
Doc raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“Well, at home I’m always putting up with a drunk-ass mom who loves to hurl abuse at me,” Marty ranted, “and Dave and Linda are no help ‘cause they’re always at work, and at school the kids won’t shut up and keep their damn thoughts to themselves-“
“They’re still teasing you? My God! I can’t believe the persistence of teenagers these days!” Doc shoved the oily rag into his pocket. “It’s been, what, seven or eight months and they’re still going on about it?”
“That’s the weird thing, Doc. No one’s done it this week,” Marty’s voice was quiet. He suddenly felt small, admitting his fears in front of Doc, but there was no one else who would care. “…I-I’ll be honest, I’m a little nervous. I don’t trust any of them.”
Although he’d only known the young man less than a year, Doc had quickly become fiercely protective of him. The constant rants and anecdotes he shared about his family and school life quickly made him concerned, but despite his prompting and subtle edging, Marty had refused to admit outright that anything bothered him. Today was definitely a sign of progress.
“I know it’s difficult, Marty,” Doc chose his words carefully, “but do your best to keep it all out of your mind, and I mean all of it. At least for the spring break, yes?”
Marty nodded slowly, suddenly realising how much better he felt. “Thanks, Doc.”
____
Neither the scientist nor assistant realised how many hours had flown by until they heard the collective growl of their stomachs while fiddling with a new gadget Doc wanted to attach to his truck. It hadn’t taken long for them to decide on their usual meals from the Burger King behind Doc’s house, which is how Marty found himself shivering into his puffer jacket as he made the trek over. Although the Burger King was technically only a five minute walk from Doc’s garage, Marty had quickly learnt it could take up to ten minutes to fight his way through the bushes and trees that separated the two properties.
Doc had lectured him when he first discovered Marty’s shortcut. “You should be taking the pathway around the block! God knows what’s in those bushes, because I certainly don’t know.”
Marty had laughed him off. “The monsters and goblins in there’ll never catch me, Doc.”
He felt the first few drops of rain fall into his hair as a loud clap of thunder rattled the air, and sighed heavily as water ran down his forehead. Dammit. Now I’m gonna get completely soaked!
He went to wipe his forehead when he felt his arms being twisted painfully behind his back. Marty swore loudly at the sharp pain in his wrists, twisting desperately to free himself. “What the hell!?”
Through the semi-darkness and increasingly heavy rain, Marty was able to get a glimpse of a group of black-clad figures. His heart sank as he realised they were all hiding their faces with balaclavas. Now I’m gonna have nothing to give the police-
He felt a cold sweat break out at the sound of something loud ripping, which he quickly worked out to be tape as it was tightly wound around his wrists. Shit shit shit!! Are they gonna murder me?! “Let me go!! HELP!!”
“You should’ve listened to us, McFly!” One of the figures spoke, revealing it to be a young man.
Marty found his head being pulled back as a thick piece of tape was pulled around his mouth. He frantically tried to wrestle out of his captors’ suffocating grip, only to have one man aggressively grab his chin. A second set of eyes blinked at him through the balaclava; Marty would’ve sworn it looked like the man was enjoying himself.
“Maybe that kook’ll use your dead body in his experiments, dickhead!”
Marty’s eyes widened in horror. Needles!! Son of a bitch!
Needles’s face quickly flew away from him as he found himself being pushed back into the bushes. His feet flew over his head as he somersaulted into an awkward position. Oh shit, that’s gonna make a bruise.
Groaning from the impact, he tried to roll onto his side to avoid accidentally inhaling some dirt. Leaves and twigs were poking into him at every angle, and the ground beneath him was quickly becoming a muddy puddle.
“Nice knowin’ ya, McFly!” One of the men taunted. “Come on, let’s get outta here before it starts pissing!”
Marty watched as his attackers took off into a sprint, leaving him alone in a soaking wet bush. A lightning bolt briefly illuminated the foliage around him, and he shook his head to dislodge the excess water settling in his hair. Great. Now I’m completely screwed.
He began wriggling around to test the strength of his bonds, only for any hope of potential escape to disappear as he realised his wrists and ankles were firmly glued together.
The temperature seemed to have taken a sharp drop since he was abandoned. He could feel the beginnings of goosebumps creeping across his skin.
Are they just gonna leave me here?!
Claps of thunder roared in his ears.
A shiver sharply wracked his body. Wonder if I’ll die of hypothermia first.
He fought the urge to cry.
Dammit Doc, where the hell are you?!
Time seemed to stand still, even though he knew it was passing. The ferocious winds seemed to be setting his ear canals on fire.
Why’d they do this to me?! I don’t make any trouble for them!
He scrunched his eyes shut as his chest heaved with a sob. He’d never been this uncomfortable in his whole life, but he was also surprised at the amount of rage that was bubbling inside. Why couldn’t these assholes just leave me ALONE!!
I’m just as bad as my dad-
“Marty?”
The voice was faint amongst the chorus of thunder and howling wind, but he still heard it. “Hmm!” Doc!! About time! Marty turned over as best as he could within the confines of the bush. He could barely open his eyes through the torrent of wind and rain, but managed to make out the silhouette of a familiar scientist. Does he actually
“Marty!! What the HELL happened?!” Doc’s voice carried a hint of fury as he bent over the young man, his eyes scanning the teenager for injuries.
Marty couldn’t help but feel that Doc’s anger was intentionally directed at him, even if it wasn’t. All he could do in the moment was squirm uncomfortably in the tape and try
“It’s too dangerous to fully untie you out here! I can barely see you through this rain!” Doc shouted through the wind. “I’ll do your feet first!”
Marty could only groan in frustration. Dammit Doc, why didn’t you bring an umbrella?!
He felt a pair of hands slide under his armpits as he was raised from his uncomfortable prison. The world instantly began spinning, and he found himself completely upright. Doc’s fingers were fiddling with the tape around his ankles. and it took an agonising few seconds before he was able to get a grip and start pulling the restraints away. “Hang on, Marty!”
As soon as his feet were freed, Marty found himself being pulled through the darkness, relying on Doc’s grip to keep him orientated. The forest around him was briefly illuminated by another flash of lightning, though it did nothing to assist with restoring his vision.
Being pulled through the doorway to the warmth of Doc’s lab provided instant relief. He found himself blinking furiously as his eyes readjusted to the welcome return of light. A quick glance down at his clothes allowed him to fully appreciate the disgusting state of his clothing. How the hell am I gonna wash all this shit out?
Doc took a second to wipe the rain from his forehead, panting as he gave his young friend a concerned look. “Are you alright?”
Marty nodded, thrusting his head back to dispel some loose water drops. He quickly turned around to present his wrists to Doc, and was grateful that the hint was understood. It took slightly longer to cut the tape around his wrists - he heard Doc make a quiet comment about how tightly they’d restrained him - but it wasn’t long before he was freed and could stretch his shoulders in relief.
Marty automatically went to ripe the tape off of his mouth when Doc’s hand stopped him. “Let me do it, Marty. We need to do it carefully so we don’t damage anything.”
The young man sighed before nodding. Can we hurry it up, though?!
He’d never expected removing duct tape from skin to be so painful. Although Doc was pulling the adhesive away as gently as possible, he couldn’t help but groan as the stinging grew more and more intense.
Doc cringed as he finally removed the last section of tape, ignoring the loud swearing that followed as soon as the teenager’s lips were freed. “My God, that’s left a mark-“
“What?! What has?” Marty raised his hand to touch his face, only to see the ugly red lines around his wrists from where the duct tape had sat. “Oh my God!! My face-”
Without waiting for a reply from Doc, Marty ran to the closest bathroom, thrusting the door open as he got a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His clothes were completely saturated with water and a thin layer of mud, allowing him to see his skin through the dripping fabric. Strands of his hair dripped onto the bathroom floor, with some drops running down the enormous red stain that now decorated the lower half of his face. “How the hell did that happen?!”
“Duct tape isn’t designed to be used on human skin, Marty,” Doc said grimly. “I did the best I could, but removing it has probably taken a couple of layers of your skin off, and I suspect the chemicals in the adhesive aren’t helping with that redness.”
“It’s not permanent, is it?!”
“No no no. It will fade,” Doc answered, “but I think you might want to stay over tonight.”
Marty raised an eyebrow. “I’m fine, Doc, really! They didn’t beat me up or anything-“
“I’m assuming, though, you don’t want to have to explain that to your parents?” Doc pointed to Marty’s mouth.
The teenager thought for a moment before nodding hurriedly. He couldn’t - or wouldn’t - look at Doc directly, and the older man chose his words carefully to avoid upsetting Marty any further. “I know you couldn’t answer me before when I asked, so I’ll ask again. What happened?”
Marty’s eyes started darting around the room nervously. He couldn’t understand why he was such a whirlwind of emotions in that moment; he was relieved to have been saved from his predicament, but also ashamed that he had to be rescued in the first place. The anger at Needles and his gang tormenting on him yet again suddenly resurfaced, and he looked up at Doc as he let out a sob. “I’m…I’m so sorry, Doc, I tried, a-and I know I shouldn’t have g-gone, but I couldn’t…t-they wouldn’t…why can’t they just leave me alone?!”
The scientist’s heart panged as he cautiously extended an arm out to Marty, to which the teenager took him by surprise as he wrapped himself around Doc’s torso. A small whine escaped his lips as he began to shake uncontrollably.
Doc was stunned for a few seconds before he returned the gesture, doing his best to provide comfort to the young man - no, the boy - sobbing and shivering in his arms. “It’s alright, Marty. It’s alright.”
But neither was sure if it would be.
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empress-of-snark · 2 years
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wip wednesday!
(never participated before but I’m excited about this new au and I’d like to share a sneak peek)
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Robin’s been such a good friend for the past year. Chrissy owes her a hundred times over just for making her freshman year tolerable.
Leaving home had been… difficult. For a lot of different, complicated reasons. It had been good for her, getting out from under her mother’s thumb, but the first few weeks had been hard. If she hadn’t struck gold with Robin as a roommate, she’s not sure that she wouldn’t have dropped out and gone back home before Thanksgiving.
Then, after a semester and a half, when Robin had finally, tentatively come out to her, it had only solidified the friendship. The fact that she’d trusted Chrissy with such an important piece of herself meant everything.
This is the very least Chrissy can do for her.
“I’d still like to come, if that’s all right,” she says, smiling as Robin blinks owlishly at her. “I mean, I’m already packed. And I don’t mind playing along.”
“But you’re not– I mean, won’t it be… weird for you?”
Chrissy shrugs. “Not if it’s not weird for you. Actually, I’m taking an acting class for my fine arts credit next semester, so this’ll be great practice!”
Laughing, Robin bumps her shoulder playfully against Chrissy’s. “Leave it to you to make this about homework, you nerd.” She sighs. “Are you really sure, though?”
“Positive. I’ll be the best fake girlfriend a girl could ask for.”
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
before anyone gets excited, let me clarify that this is not a Buckingham fic—Chrissy and Robin are not going to fall in love (with each other, that is—that’s what Eddie and Vickie are for)
three’s a crowd is being (temporarily!) put on hold because this one is Christmas themed and obviously I’d like to get it done before the year is out. first chapter is almost done and should be up tomorrow, so keep an eye out!
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thatonemarvelchick · 28 days
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Apricity - Three
Apricity lead Peter into her tiny apartment, worry instnantly springing into her mind. Had she left any clothes on the floor this morning? Had she done last nights dishes? Was the milk in the fridge still bad, or had she thrown that out? 
Peter seemed to notice none of this, none of the slight clutter her apartment held. She lead him to the living room, where she had a small couch, an old coffee table, and a shabby TV set up, nothing more. Turning on the overhead lamp, she walked over to the window to open the curtains, letting the last of the sunlight in. The building had no AC, and got unreasonably hot, so she often had the windows open when she was home in hopes of cooling the place down. She did that now, scampering to pick up any leftover mess that she’d left behind that morning when she was rushing out the door. She left Peter to his own devices, to hopefully get settled and look at the textbooks more than the dust that was piling up on almost every surface. 
When she turned back to look at Peter though, he seemed completely lost in thought. Like the apartment could’ve been in any state and he would’ve have noticed. His eyes were fixed on the rug uner the table, and he was twirling the straps of his bag over and over around his fingers. 
“Peter?” Apricity asked, walking over to where he was standing. She was worried, worried that maybe this would seem to be too much. Would he think she was hitting on him? Was he uncomfortable? The arrangement so far had kept them so distanced, kept the boundaries so firm and so far that she’d never had to worry about what Peter thought about her, only what he thought about her answers for the homework for that week. 
But this was new, this was undiscovered territory for the two of them. What if it was something Peter wouldn’t want?
His eyes snapped to hers as that thought popped into her head, almost as if he could hear it himself. “Yeah, yeah I’m all good. Just right here?” He gestured to the couch, seeming to be pulled out of his own thoughts and trance. 
She nodded, sitting down on the opposite end and opening up her bag. As she sifted through it, pulling out notebooks and textbooks, she couldn’t help but let her thoughts wander to the boy sitting beside her. The couch was small enough that if she shifted an inch to the right, their knees would be brushing. 
She didn’t know much about Peter. She knew that he was smart. More brilliant than anyone she’d ever met. She gathered that he was from New York, both from the accent and from small references he would occasionally make. She knew that he was what could be defined as a nerd, that he loved Star Wars and Sci-Fi and the Avengers. She knew that he didn’t talk to many other people, or any other people. She chalked it up to his awkwardness, the way he would stumble around his words sometimes, the way he fidgeted with whatever he could get his hands on. All these little things she knew, but nothing more. He never shared anything more. 
After an hour and a half of studying, cramming, repeating phrases, and often asking Peter questions and aswering his, Apricity felt as if her brain was fried. It was finals week, so they were trying to go over everything they had learned the entire semester. They were about halfway through. 
“Ok, ok, I need a break.” She sighed, putting her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, rubbing her temples. She was sure she looked like a mess at the moment, having raked her hands through her hair multiple times and rubbed at her eyes more than enough to smudge what little mascara she’d put on the day before. “Do you want anything to drink?”
Peter nodded, running his own hand through his curls. They were completely loose now, not gelled back like the day she’d met him. She found that of all the ways he styled his hair, she liked it best when it was free and down. Though she wasn’t sure she was allowed to have a favorite hairstyle of his anyways. 
“Yes, yes please. Water would be great.” He sounded tired, as she was sure she did too. She looked at the time, noticing that it was around nine now. Of course they were both exhausted, they both had an 8 am class and a full schedule on Tuesdays. 
Apricity walked into the kitchen and came back with two bottles of water, handing one over to Peter. “It’s getting pretty late, you don’t have to stay any longer if you don’t want to. I can probably get through the next two units by myself.” She offered. Her and Peter had never spent this much uninterrupted time together.
He seemed to pause, taking a long drink of his water while battling with himself. He did that a lot, anytime they would talk about something not strictly school related, or they had been together for what he deemed to be too long. It was as if he was constantly tyring to determine what was ok to share with her and what was not. 
“No… No it’s ok.” He finally decided. “Honestly, I think we’re doing pretty good right now, and I think we can speed through these next two.” He glanced over at her, catching her eyes only for a moment. “If you want, of course. If not I can go.”
She shook her head quickly. “No, no honestly I would like to go over the rest of it. I just want to be as best prepared as I can for tomorrow. I can’t fail this test.” She heard Peter give her the chuckle he gave any time she mentioned being worried about grades or tests or classes. 
“Apricity, honestly, you’ve taught me more tonight than I could’ve taught you. And you grasp these concepts better than anyone in that class. You have the highest grades, you’re smart. When are you going to start letting yourself believe that?”
She felt slightly taken aback by the comment. Peter and her never talked about anything deep, not this this subject was particularly deep, but it struck a chord with her. They’d avoided compliments, other than the occasional ‘Nice’ on a homework project or praise on the grades they’d gotten on tests. And while this fell under that same academic umberalla, it felt more personal this time.
Peter seemed to notice this too, because he quickly looked away and began fidgeting with his fingers. “I mean, I’m just saying. Anyways, if you want we can get started on Unit three now, I think I’m ready to dive back in.”
She was glad he’d saved her the trouble of trying to answer to the compliment, to the question. When are you going to let yourself believe that? She knew she was smart to some degree, you don’t get into MIT by being stupid, but she’d never considered herself to the same degree Peter apparently did. 
“Yeah, let’s get started on unit three.” She agreed, brushing the topic aside. She leaned in, over her textbooks, and tried to switch her brain back into math mode. But no matter what she did, she couldn’t stop remembering the fact that their legs were still only one inch apart. 
One inch to close that gap, physically. But how much to close the gap that went unspoken? She tried to shoo the thought away. Their current arrangment worked. Feelings were messy, not that she could even assume Peter would see her in that light anyway. What if he had some loyal, beautiful girlfriend back at home. And that was why he was uncomfortbale getting close to her, because he didn’t want to give her the wrong impressions? Peter was a gorgeous boy, no matter what way you spun it. It was unlikely that he had no one else waiting on him, and even if he didn’t that he would be interested in her in the first place. 
Apricity felt silly thinking about any of it, being concerned by any of it. It wouldn’t matter anyway, because nothing would ever become of these thoughts. She would never make the move to close that one inch gap, and neither would he, because they were both comfortable in their arrangement. Because they both preferred being alone, being kept to themselves. Soon enough, she’d chased away the thoughts completely. 
Until, of course, Peter scooted over, just one inch.
Next Chapter
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beneathashadytree · 4 months
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My finals are done and this semester officially ended. I'm an incoming 5th year Dentistry Student now, and about to have patients and comprehensive cases. Periodontics exams were relatively easy, surprisingly. Anesthesiology exams fucked my brain up because my professor literally mixed everything up about the injection techniques about their areas of insertion, the path of insertion, landmarks, and such, and we have to match them up. That was hell. It was confusing.
Endodontics practical exams was time pressured since we were tasked to obturate a root canal in an hour, plus you can't talk with anyone during exams, or glance their way or you'll get deduction. Prosthodontics was fun, setting up the complete denture artificial teeth and festooning, though, it was also stressful since it was time pressured (in their defense, they said it was a practice for board exams).
I'm practically geeking out because it's a bit rare to see someone taking up Dentistry as well. I hope your exams are doing well, and I hope you're doing well, as well.
Have a great day, Maya.🩵
(I'm not sure if you already have the 🌊 anon, but if you don't, then I'll be it.)
- 🌊
Oh nonnie, geek out as much as you want!! The dentistry student experience is… definitely something (beating the college board up with a stick in my head rn🙏🏽)
Our curricula are divided a little differently I see. We start working on patients during our 3rd/4th year onwards, since we’ve got one of the biggest dental hospitals in the entire region. It’s almost-free healthcare, so I’m honestly happy to be doing something for the community.
I’m so happy that your Perio exam was all good!! Compared to Endo (which has an INSANE time limit, considering that we have to obturate RCs in less than 25 minutes), it’s honestly a whole lot better in my opinion. And GOD, how I LOATHE matching exams, they’re too confusing and the answers are always too similar. We don’t get to take anesthesiology as a separate subject, but we take it scattered all over different subjects (like head & neck anatomy, physiology, and pharmacology) and then we’re good to go.
I actually really liked that Prosthodontics exam you mentioned!! Setting up teeth’s my favorite part cause it turns out SO aesthetically pleasing in the end. We did both arches within 1 hr 30 min, which was actually quite a lot of time, considering that they normally used to give 45 min-1hr long exams.
I’m just happy to hear that you’re done with all those and can finally rest up. It’s pretty exhausting, having to juggle both theoretical and practical exams, but you’ve already made it!! I’m proud of you🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
I’m currently studying for my upcoming Conservative exam, and it’s HELL… because why the fuck do I have to study 500 pages of material…? I’m drained from just staring at the pages all day long😭😭😭
Anyways, thank you for sharing your experiences with me!! And of course, you can take that emoji as yours now!!
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Officially 3/8 MD!!! 🥹🥹🥹 Oops! Forgot to share this wonderful update lol. 😝😝😝 Idk how, but I’m almost 1/2 way through medical school and almost done with my pre-clerkship curriculum with just 1 organ system (Gastrointestinal) left to go. Eeek! 😳😳😳 Then I start clinical rotations! 🥲🥲🥲 But like how!? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 Where did the time go!? Lord knows how crazy this semester was. Im not going to lie- it was only until recently I started responding “I’m good” and not “I’m okay” or “I’m surviving” when people ask me how I’m doing. Or I stopped saying that things are “bad” lol. 🙃🙃🙃 Muskoskeletal-Nervous Systems (aka MSK-N) really tried me. Ooofff. 😭😭😭 I was on a solid upward trend ending M1 year and in the summer. So to be knocked down by MSK after consistently passing for so long, especially after figuring out what worked for me and what I needed to do in order to pass, really sucked and definitely hurt. I was even more hurt by the fact that I just wasn’t able to pull through and pass last minute. Just not how my brain works unfortunately. 🥺🥺🥺 But I picked my self up, stayed true to me, established boundaries, tried again, and finally passed MSK! And even though my clinical neuroscience 1 and 2 blocs (aka Neuro) was tough AF, I passed both and then even got my first A in a bloc- Psychiatry/Behavioral Neuroscience!!! I even got above the class average which like never happens, let alone even achieve near the average. 😂😂😂 Yes I know “psych” is known to be “easier”but I don’t care because an A is an A and when upperclassmen say something is easy, it’s never easy. It’s just not as bad, relatively speaking. 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 But I made it! And I couldn’t have made it this far without the love and support of my friends, family, my amazing faculty and Dr.NerdNOTinNiceClothes himself lol ❤️❤️❤️. Yes, I be putting that small solar system of mine to work. 😜😜😜 (and yes my stethoscope and earrings match my scrubs because I’m EXTRA like that. 😁😁😁) Scrubs: @WearFigs Earrings: @KateSpadeNY Sneakers: @Nike (at Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmvRDT3uNo1/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=
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parvuls · 2 years
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Eric has been sitting next to Jack Zimmermann for two and a half months before he hears him utter more than three words in a row.
“Can you meet in the library? Tomorrow morning,” his voice is quiet, bland, and his eyes are trained on the paper detailing the assignment outline Mr. Liddell handed out. Eric doesn’t think they’ve ever actually made eye contact, even though they’ve been sharing a desk since the semester started. “I have practice after school.”
“Uh – yeah, yeah, sure,” Eric stammers, nervously fiddling with his own assignment paper, folding the edges inwards and then smoothing them out. Meeting in the morning means he’s going to have to ask Coach to leave the house even earlier than usual, but he’d rather fail the whole class than explicitly remind senior ice-hockey captain Jack Zimmermann that he doesn’t have a driving license yet. Or a car he can drive to school. 
“Okay,” Jack says, but his eyebrows draw together and his mouth pinches in that way that always makes Eric shrink away in alarm. He looks vaguely angry, and since Eric can’t think of a single thing he could’ve done to inspire that, he tentatively assumes Jack isn’t angry at him. Which leaves –
“I’m actually, uh, real good at these – stuff,” Eric says hesitantly, in case Jack’s anger stems from worrying about his final grade in Family and Consumer Science. Jack doesn’t immediately go for the obvious jab (“‘Course you are, Bittle, you’ve always been into all that girly shit, huh?”), so Eric gathers his courage and elaborates, “Well – well, maybe not the personal finance stuff, but the cooking and the sewing. Um.”
He’s opening himself up to a world of pain, here, considering that he’s good at cooking because he spends most of his free time in the kitchen with his mother and he’s good at sewing because up until a few years ago he still sewed the sequins onto his leotards. But either Jack doesn’t care enough to make fun of him, or doesn’t think class is the best time for it. 
“Right,” is Jack’s response. He doesn’t seem inclined to say more, so Eric swallows the flood of words clawing up his throat and grips the edge of the desk to ground himself. There’s a faded J+M engraved in the metal. He traces it with a blunt fingernail while Mr. Liddell drones on in the background.
Class is dismissed with a rush of chairs scraping and voices rising and school bags’ zippers opening. Eric stuffs his creased assignment paper into his bag and stands up, half-heartedly wishing he was brave or cool enough to skip school. He has calculus next period. Facing Coach’s wrath might actually be a better fate than that. 
“I’m alright with finances.”
It takes Eric a very long moment to realize who is speaking, and who they’re speaking to. He turns around, almost certain he’s misheard, and blinks at Jack Zimmermann, who is shoving his water bottle into his bag and folding the assignment paper into weirdly even halves before slipping it in as well.
“So. We can divide the work,” Jack finishes, confirming that he was in fact talking to Eric. 
He looks up then, and for what is certainly the first time, their eyes meet. Jack offers a stilted nod, shoulders his bag, and disappears into the sea of other students jostling out toward the halls.
His eyes are such a striking shade of blue. Eric’s not sure how he could have possibly missed that until now.
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uchihabbynic · 2 years
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Naruto Uzumaki x Fem! Reader
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Characters: Naruto Uzumaki x Fem! Reader
Additional: Shikamaru Nara, Temari Nara & Hinata Hyuga (Honorable Mentions) ✨ 
Warnings: Modern AU (College), All Characters Are 18+, Smut (Oral - Male Receiving) & Drug Use
Word Count: 4.1k 
Special Note: Never thought I’d see the day where I attempted to write anything, let alone smut so I want to shout out my favorite Tumblr baby @jordyn-degas 💖 Thank you for always encouraging me to push myself to do new things and for being the best Naruto Uzumaki stan & partner in crime! 💫  ILYSM! 🥺❤️ Mood 🎧 : Miguel - Sky Walker 
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“Quick to dead the bull like a matador”
“Quick to dead the bull like a matador”
“Bull, bull, bull like a matador”
“Quick to dead the bull like a matador”
WAS all you heard as you entered the basement apartment you shared with your best friend and roommate Shikamaru Nara. The bass was almost deafening to the ears but you didn’t care because whenever a Miguel song was blaring through the speakers of your apartment - you knew a much needed smoke session was around the corner. 
“Shikamaru, the upstairs neighbors are going to KILL us with all the noise.” You said as you walked in, plopping your backpack down next to the kitchen counter.
Shikamaru, already having smoked his first joint of the evening, just shrugged. “They’ll be fine. I mean, I don’t hear them complain when they come down to “borrow” weed from us.”
You couldn't help but to laugh at Nara’s unbotheredness. Shikamaru was your best friend. The most laid back dude around. Someone who naturally made you comfortable. Incredibly funny without trying and your closest confidant - which is why sharing space with him was surprisingly easy. 
“Eh, you got a point.” you responded in agreement. “By the way, what’d you get on Professor Hatake’s final exam?” You asked, making yourself comfortable on the couch - relieved that you were officially done with your Sophomore year of college.
Shikamaru glared at you, before joining you on the couch - simply shocked at your question. “Pfft, do you even have to ask? 98%. I finished the course with an A+.” Shikamaru smirked playfully.
He had a way of being slightly arrogant when it came to his grades but it didn’t bother you much because you, being incredibly smart yourself - was a close rival when it came to academics.
“Dammit. I ended with an A. I’m shocked he didn’t just bump me up though. All the extra work I did for him throughout the semester…I deserve it.” You said, crossing your arms, pushing your plush lips out in the most adorable pouty way.
Shikamaru chuckled, “Yeah, I”m shocked too. The man couldn’t stop making googly eyes at you all semester.”
You rolled your eyes, slightly annoyed. “Not even!” you said, playfully slapping Shikamaru’s arm. He threw his hands up in defense. “Hey! I only speak the truth!”
You both broke out in laughter. It was comforting to know you could have such an innocent yet fun relationship with a man who wasn’t trying to get in your pants.
“Anyway - what time are we sparking up tonight?” You asked, shaking the vacuum sealed baggy that sat on a nearby side table. 
Shikamaru, now preoccupied on his phone, shot you an “I’m sorry” look. “Actually, Y/N… Temari just texted me. She wants me to come over tonight.” Shikamaru said, nudging your shoulder.
You sighed. “First of all. Gross. Second of all - Come onnnnn! It’s the last day of classes. Just smoke with me first.” you whined, grabbing Nara’s shoulder practically begging him to indulge in your favorite pastime together.
“How about this? I’ll roll the fattest blunt and we’ll get completely faded…AFTER I meet Temari.” Shikamaru said as he wiggled himself out of your grip, getting off the couch to grab his jacket - ready to head out for the night.
You groaned. “Shika…”
“Just invite Naruto over. It’s so obvious you have a thing for him anyways. See if he’ll keep you company in the meantime.” Shikamaru said grinning as he grabbed his keys and headed for the door.
Your face immediately scrunched up. “I mean, yeah he’s hot and really really sweet but I swear he and Hinata have a thing going on so I don’t know…” you grabbed your phone staring at Naruto Uzumaki’s contact, unsure if you should actually text him.
“Orrrr, spend the evening alone. The choice is yours, champ.” Shikamaru shot you a playful wink as he walked out, locking the door behind him. You immediately hurled a throw pillow at the door as Shikamaru closed it, unamused with his natural ‘smartassness’.
You started weighing your options of a lonely night in or having a cute boy to keep you company. You picked the latter and decided to muster up the courage to text Naruto. You held your breath awaiting the Uzumaki’s reply and to your surprise, he was more than eager to drop by.
>>>
You had quickly changed into your favorite orange Nike Pro spandex shorts, put your hair in a high ponytail and threw on your favorite anime tee while you waited for Naruto’s arrival. Your nervousness began to kick in as you kept looking at the time on your phone every few minutes. Naruto had promised he’d drop by around 9pm and it was going on 9:30pm.
“Was he standing me up?” You thought.
Suddenly, a loud knock on your door shook you out of your intrusive thoughts. You made sure to let him stand a bit longer than usual at the door before you opened it. You didn’t want to appear too eager, plus…he was late. You couldn’t help but chuckle at Shikamaru’s pettiness rubbing off on you over the years.
You opened the door to be greeted by the tall, muscular blonde you’d adored for so long from afar. Your heart instantly did flip flops when your “E/C” eyes met his gorgeous baby blue ones.
“Y/N! Thanks for inviting me over tonight!” Naruto said, walking past you inside the now dimly lit apartment.
“Sorry I’m late! I picked up some to-go ramen on the way over - hope that’s okay!” He said, shooting you an adorably apologetic look. 
Naruto was able to melt your heart in the simplest of ways and without even trying - so you wouldn’t dare hold his lateness against him.
“Ah, no worries! I love Ramen! Thanks.” you replied sweetly, grabbing the plastic bag from his hand as you lead Naruto into your bedroom. Naruto, followed closely on your heels until he suddenly froze. Awkward. Now unsure of where to sit.
He rubbed the back of his blonde locks nervously. “Uh…where should I sit?” he asked, looking around the dark room - nothing more than the TV and colorful LED lights providing any bit of illumination.
You laughed, pushing the pile of clothes you were due to fold 3 days ago off the bed. “The bed, silly. Just make yourself comfortable! If that’s okay?” you asked, now settling into your side of the bed, grabbing your signature rolling tray.
Naruto nodded his head and settled next to you on your Queen sized bed - way closer than you expected. You instantly felt your heart rate increase at the sudden closeness of the boy you had fallen so hard for. Naruto casually flipped through Crunchyroll trying to find a good show to watch while you started grinding the weed. However, in spirit of the relaxing night that was ahead - instead of tuning into an anime you’d both inevitably zone out during the peak of your high - he settled on your favorite, J-Cole & Miguel Smoke Playlist on the Spotify App, per your request.
“I was just getting ready to roll. Do you smoke…?” you asked Naruto, hesitantly. Not everyone was into the whole “smoking weed” thing. Naruto paused, thinking carefully before responding.
“Honestly? It’s never really been my thing…but it’s the last day of classes so, fuck it right?” Naruto said shooting you his adorably wide signature grin. 
You glanced over and felt yourself immediately getting lost in his eyes. All you could think about was grabbing his cute, whiskered cheeks and kissing him all over. However, the weed wasn’t even in your system, so you weren’t quite that bold. 
You nodded and began expertly packing the blunt wrap with the ganja you’d just grind to perfection. You slowly pinched and rolled along the blunt as you carefully coated the inside of the wrap with your saliva, cautiously sealing the blunt - the taste of tobacco now filling your mouth.
“Damn, you’re really good at that!” Naruto said, looking in your direction, surprised. His blue eyes practically bulged out of his head as he watched you carefully drag your tongue across the tobacco leaf paper, making sure to seal the ends carefully.
“What can I say? I’m pretty good with my mouth.” you immediately shot back, without a second thought - as you playfully slapped Naruto’s arm as the sexual innuendo rolled off your plump lips.
The prettiest shade of pink washed over Naruto’s cheeks at the sexual joke. “That’s what she said!!” The blonde retorted.
You couldn't help but crack up at Naruto’s stupid but playful sense of humor. He really was such a gem and quite frankly, hot as hell. You genuinely wanted to rip his clothes off right then and there, however, you decided you needed to get the status of him and Hinata before you made any moves.
You lit the blunt you had rolled perfectly and took a nice, deep inhale, letting the smoke and earthy aroma of the Mary-Jane fill your lungs - just the way you liked. You immediately passed the blunt to Naruto, who - being a novice smoker, inhaled way too much and was sent into a coughing fit.
Naruto desperately gasped trying to catch his breath in between each cough. “Don’t laugh, but clearly I have no clue what I’m doing!” he said, chuckling lowly as he let the first hit of the blunt settle in. Milky clouds of smoke now filling your bedroom.
You did everything in your power to stifle back a laugh. It was at that moment, you knew that you made the right decision to invite Naruto over. He was such a delight to be around and obviously very easy on the eyes.
>>>
You had hit the peak of your first experience getting high with Naruto and as you expected, the boy couldn’t handle his smoke. You couldn’t help but smile at his adorably contagious yet uncontrollable boisterous laughter.
“Demon Slayer? More like “MID-Slayer!” The blonde cracked up as he pointed at the Demon Slayer tee you’d be sporting all night. You busted out into a fit of laughter alongside him, because quite frankly you were being a good sport and didn’t want to ruin this moment.
“Nah, shut up! It’s a REALLY good show!” you argued back. While you let Naruto have his fun, you grabbed the bag of ramen he had brought over earlier in the night. It was both your favorites - Tonkotsu Pork Ramen. At this point, the munchies were hitting so hard you could hardly stand it.
Naruto’s stomach let out the loudest growl, which caused him to pause out of pure shock at the sound that just left his body and soon erupted again into a fit of laughter.
Boy, was the weed kicking his ass. 
 “I’m starving! I literally want to eat 8 bowls of ramen!” Naruto said as he reached his hands out impatiently for his serving. You handed him his helping and chopsticks to match. Meanwhile, your face was already deep in the bowl of broth slurping obnoxiously loud - something you’d normally be embarrassed to do around a boy you liked however, this was different. Naruto was different.
As you both sat next to each other soaking up the high and inhaling the yummy ramen, you felt at so much peace. You obviously loved having smoke sessions with Shikamaru but this just hit differently.
“Here, let me help you.” The blonde said as he reached out and wiped a stray noodle from the side of your mouth.
The second his hand touched skin, your body felt shockwaves running through it. Your heart was beating loudly in your ears as you desperately tried to control your sudden rapid breathing. Smoking weed occasionally made you horny as hell and with Naruto sitting so close on your bed, any little touch could send you into overdrive. An unexplainable embarrassment washed over you as you grabbed a napkin from your side drawer, finishing the clean up job Naruto had started. 
“Thanks.” you said, giggling a bit from the cute moment you just experienced.
>>>
The high had finally settled in and you were laying next to Naruto on your bed, quietly, just enjoying each other’s company as you let Summer Walker’s “Body” play out loud, filling your ears at the perfect volume. Not too loud. Not too soft.
Your arms and legs were still tingly all over, your heart rate still elevated and your mind, now - completely slowed down. You were swimming in bliss as you let yourself sink deep into the comfortable mattress below you. You looked over at Naruto - who’s gorgeous blue eyes were now lidded and red as he bobbed his head back and forth to the new music selection. You couldn’t believe you were sharing this moment with one of your favorite people. His presence was almost as intoxicating as the Mary-Jane itself.
Shikamaru always told you when you first started smoking, “Control the high, don't let the high control you” but in this moment, with the marijuana coursing heavy through your veins, you lost all sense of control as you asked the gorgeous blonde you laid next to a rather, straight-forward & personal question.
“Naruto…what’s going on with you and Hinata?” you boldly asked. Naruto slowly sat up, trying to get his bearings, careful not to make himself dizzy and looked over at you slightly confused.
The Uzumaki shrugged, “As far as I know - nothing.” he responded nonchalantly. 
You rolled your eyes at this modest response. “Oh come on. Everyone sees you two around campus. She obviously has a thing for you.” You say, now slightly annoyed.
Naruto laughed. “You’re really cute when you’re jealous.” he said, now facing you completely.
You slapped his arm in a playful tone. “I am NOT Jealous of HER.” you replied, almost trying to convince yourself. Naruto scrunched up his face in the most adorable manner and stuck out his tongue at you.
“Mhm…sure. Well, I’ll have you know, she’s just my lab partner and I don’t view her like that. He said, waving his hand, dismissively.  “I…actually really like someone else.” Now facing you staring deep into your lidded “E/C” eyes. 
Your heart skipped a beat and the butterflies in your stomach danced around causing you to almost gag with excitement as you heard these words. You finally got the confidence and reassurance you needed to make your move now hearing that Naruto was 100% single and uninterested in the purple-haired female who always seemed to show up wherever he was. 
“Is that so?” you replied, smirking - trying your best to play it sexy and cool although - you were freaking the fuck out on the inside.
Naruto grinned, “Yup! She’s like, the prettiest girl on campus actually.” He said now slowly turning on his side in your bed, inching dangerously close to your face.
Your breathing hitched at the sudden and unexpected closeness. He was laying it on THICK so you decided to play along. “Oh really? What does this girl look like?” you asked, hoping to get the answer you expected.
“Well…she’s got the most gorgeous big “E/C” eyes… long "H/C” hair…she’s an A student but rolls one hell of a blunt…” Naruto said as he continued inching closer and closer to your face in between every word.
You knew exactly what he was going for but it was clear that he was still too nervous to seal the deal. Your heart exploded hearing the sweet way he described you - so, boldly, you decided to close the gap between you by pressing your soft plump lips onto his pink ones.
You immediately took control and dove into the kiss with everything you had letting go of all fear and inhibition. You let your leg wrap over the side of his body as you grabbed his whiskered cheeks, kissing him more intensely as you felt his tongue swipe across your plush bottom lip, begging for entrance. You let your tongues dance and intertwine as you tasted the faint hint of tobacco on his lips. You felt Naruto’s large hand cling onto your thick thigh, almost out of instinct - slowly rubbing your bare skin sending shivers up your spine, clearly indicating he was settling comfortably in this newfound intimacy.
Naruto’s hand slowly ran up the back of your thigh until he found his way to your ass - giving gentle squeezes to the jiggly mound of flesh peeking out of your spandex shorts. Your tongues still fighting for dominance. Naruto’s sweet lips and gentle touches sent your mind to dangerous places yet - you didn’t care. You wanted him. You had to have him. You let your small hands wander to a place of no return as you slid your hand under his T-shirt tracing his perfectly chiseled abs. Without a single apprehensive bone in your body, you made your way lower and lower on his abs until the tufts of dirty blonde happy trail hair traced your fingertips, alarmingly close to the top of the orange boxers that were peeking out of his pants. Naruto groaned lowly at the foreign feeling of your hand caressing his lower abdomen as you began stealing kisses up and down his collarbone, now sending him into overdrive. 
Naruto felt the fabric in his pants get uncomfortably tight as he let you have your way with him. The blonde sucked in sharply as he felt your hands dive right for his belt buckle, ready to unleash the painful hard on that left him feeling so restricted, he could barely breathe.
Suddenly, Naruto abruptly stopped and grabbed your hand. “We don’t have to…I’m okay just making out, if you are.” The blonde said, shooting you a gentle smile as he stared directly into your red and dilated pupils.
“Shh…I want to.” you said, as you placed your finger over his pink lips - shooting him a reassuring look. Naruto plastered the goofiest grin on his face as he nodded and laid back on your bed, propping himself up and settling nicely into the pillows that surrounded him. You were already committed and too far gone to stop now.
Naruto threw his shirt across the room and inhaled deeply, knowing what was to come as he helped you unbuckle his pants. You were beginning to get FERAL as the outline of his dick bulged so prominently through his orange boxers. The sight of this alone had you incredibly hot and bothered - panties already pooling with your slick fluids.
Naruto shifted his butt upwards as you slid his boxers down his legs, instantly freeing the large cock that had been previously detained. The way it bounced and hit his abdomen had you drooling at the mouth and seeing stars.
You wanted to suck the soul right out of this man - and that’s exactly what you did.
You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself for what was to come. You grabbed onto Naruto’s thick cock slowly running your hand up and down the underside of his shaft causing him to jerk at the sudden contact.
You let the precum that began forming at the tip act as a lubricant as you continued slowly jerking the blonde up and down, painfully slow. You leaned down, your face meeting his red and swollen head and began swirling your tongue around the tip, carefully lubricating the top half of his cock perfectly.
“Mmm…Fuck babe. Such a tease…” Naruto groaned lowly. Being the impatient motherfucker he is - thrusted his hips upward to meet your mouth.
“Ah, Ah. Patience.” you said as you dragged your tongue slowly from the base of his dick all the way to the tip. The now excited muscle flexing on its own from the contact.
You noticed Naruto’s breathing increased rapidly when you briefly looked up to see his chest heaving up and down, more obvious than before. You figured the man had had enough teasing and without a second thought - you let your wet plump lips sink all the way down Naruto’s thick shaft causing a loud groan to escape his mouth as he threw his head back in pleasure, cursing under his breath.
You began expertly bobbing your head up and down his cock letting the saliva dripping from either corner of your mouth dribble all the way down to his balls. You continued to take more of Naruto in your throat until you finally found a good rhythm. Within seconds, he was losing his mind, squirming and moaning uncontrollably.
“Fuuuck, I love that pretty little mouth of yours…” He cooed, looking down at you through his lidded, blue orbs - hints of red still peeking through from the blunt you both previously consumed. Courageously enough, he placed his hand on your head, gently pushing you further down his wet, veiny shaft.
You instinctively grabbed his heavy balls in your hand and started gently pulling and squeezing them simultaneously as you let your other hand work beautifully in sync with your mouth, letting Naruto’s massive cock hit the back of your throat repeatedly. You peered up once more to see Naruto’s eyes roll clean to the back of his head as you could tell he was unraveling completely, close to his impending orgasm.
“Oh my god baby…wait wait. Take it easy on me…you’re going to make me cum already.” Naruto scrunched his nose and pulled you off his cock, instantly amused at the smacking sound your lips made as you released them from around him.
You looked up, shooting him an innocent yet sexually fueled pout. “What? Can't handle it, Uzumaki?” you said, now in a taunting tone.
Without letting him answer, you dove in once more, this time giving it your all. Without hesitation, you wrapped both hands around his throbbing cock jerking and twisting - up and down, up and down. You spread the slick saliva all over as your swollen lips latched onto his red and pulsating head once more, sucking harshly - almost torturing the orgasm out of his body.
Naruto started squirming as you mercilessly sucked his cock, ramming it further and further down your throat and you let your hand follow your mouth down to the base, repeating this motion over and over - just watching him crumble beneath you. You had a hunch he was moments away from an explosive orgasm.
“F-fuck, Y/N… I- I’m gonna fucking cum!” Naruto let a strangled moan erupt from his throat as he shot his hot creamy load straight down your throat, causing you to gag. His chest heaving uncontrollably as he worked to carefully bring his breathing back to a normal pace.
You got up from in between the Uzumaki’s thighs and reached for the closest towel you could find so you both could begin cleaning up. A sudden hint of embarrassment washed over you as you had finally come down from your high.
“Well, that was…” You began.
“Fun.” Naruto said grinning, not letting you bother to finish your sentence.
You bashfully hid your face in your hands realizing you had just unleashed the ravaging beast inside of you. Naruto - now getting redressed, noticed your now uncomfortable demeanor and grabbed your hand away from your face.
“Hey, stop it. No need to be shy now.” He said sticking his tongue out. His playful smartass humor caused laughter to erupt once more as you found a nearby pillow,  wacking him on the head with it.
“You’re so annoying, Uzumaki.” you replied playfully, suddenly feeling as comfortable as you once were.
“AKA: you’re TOTALLY in love with me now.” Naruto joked, now settling back into the bed with you, arm draped across your waist. 
You rolled your eyes and started poking his ribcage - now just wanting to be a pest. “Shut up!” you responded, now searching for the remote control to put something on TV.
“Wait, um. Is Shikamaru going to be ok if he comes home and I’m still here?” Naruto wondered, nervous that he was imposing.
You waved your hand dismissively, “Yeah, he’ll be fine. He’ll probably end up spending the night at Temari’s tonight anyways.” Naruto smiled and leaned down to kiss your forehead.
You had turned on an episode of Black Clover as you prepared to binge the show the rest of the night. Naruto shot you a confused glare.
“Black Clover? Maybe you ARE a woman of good taste.” Naruto said, proudly. You giggled. “You know, the main character Asta actually reminds me of you.”
Naruto blushed at your adorable compliment in reference to your current anime obsession.
“Okay, you are DEFINITELY a woman of good taste.” The Uzumaki replied as you stole a quick kiss and settled your head in the crook of his neck. You were on cloud 9 and didn’t want the night to end because Naruto Uzumaki made you feel all the “warm & fuzzies”.
The last day of classes certainly turned out to be an evening you’d never forget - to say the least.
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I've Drawn Out In Sharpie, Where I Would Take The Scissors
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A/N: Here it is! 💙 I'm really excited to post this one because the idea came when I was almost done with Can't Think I'm Pretty, and I almost junked that fic to start this one, but I didn't cause I still liked that one and also knew with the semester finishing up that I wouldn't get to work on it for awhile lol. This didn't turn out as long as I thought it would be, and while I feel the smut is pretty good it's not as emotional as I wanted lol. Overall though I think it's a good fic, and I hope you all enjoy this!
As always it's unproofread and unedited 😂💙.
Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Mentions of body image issues, mentions of plastic surgery, cussing.
Word Count: 4.7k
Biting your lip, you looked in the mirror in your bra and panties analyzing yourself as you hold the black marker in your hand. Seeing all your flaws you criticize your body before you start to outline in marker the places you hated. Too absorbed in your personal mission, you don’t hear Austin enter the house and make his way through it towards your shared bedroom. Seeing the bathroom door cracked, he walks in to see the confusing sight of you literally marking up your body. “What are you doing babe?” He asks as his brows furrow some and causes you to drop the marker. Quickly you grab your robe hanging on the wall next to the sink and quickly wrap it around your body. “What are you doing home early babe? I though shooting was going to be long today.” You ask avoiding his question as you wrap the soft fabric around you tighter.
“Well it is, but something happened to two of the cameras to Baz’s is giving everyone a bit of break while it gets fixed, so I figured I’d spend some time with my favorite girl on her off day. “He tells you as he steps more into the bathroom, still confused by the scene he walked into. “You still haven’t answered my question though babe, what are you doing?” He asks you gently as he comes closer to you. Bowing your head, you bite your lip as your current emotions bubble more as you start to feel vulnerable under his gaze. You honestly wish the floor would swallow you up, because how could you answer him and not sound crazy, shallow, or pathetic? As you silently stared at the floor Austin watched you, and as the silence took over the bathroom for a moment something started to gnaw at his gut. “Y/N? What’s going on?” Austin softly asks as he steps towards you, biting his lip at your step back into the counter.
Gently he reaches out and cups your chin to lift your face, shocked to see your eyes lined with tears. As you stared into his eyes, the part of you that knew despite your worries, Austin has become one of the people that you could be honest with. Which is why after swallowing the lump in your throat you finally begin to answer him. “You know how I’ve been working on the Phillips account since we basically landed?” You begin with rhetorically asking him as he begins to chew on his lip wondering where this was going. “Well I finally finished it the other day, and I got an email from my boss congratulating me and telling me about the bonus I’m getting since I basically helped secure them to the firm.” You tell Austin, and while he wants to celebrate that news with you knowing how hard you’ve been working, it confuses him more as to why it led you to drawing on yourself. You bite you lip and take a breath as you watch his brows furrow more, and his blue eyes start to fill with worry and concern.
“W-well when he told me the figure, I kinda started thinking about what I wanted to get me with it. I know that’s selfish, but I’ve been so stressed with this account that I just want to kinda treat myself, ya know?”  You continue after taking a moment, and despite swallowing the hard lump in your throat before you spoke, your voice comes out thick. “Well I started thinking about some of the stuff I’ve wanted like dresses, make-up, and maybe a puppy after talking to you. Then I started to really think and thought about the amount too. And something, well more like somethings, I’ve wanted since all the way back in high school popped into my head. “You go on as you stare into his eyes, and the tears begin to slowly slip as you feel shame, guilt, self-disgust, and all the emotional pain that’s been slowly bottled up for decades storm inside you. While it’s not the only time this emotional storm as wrought your soul, it’s the first time you’ve really let Austin see the full extent of it. Yes, over the course of your relationship you two have shared so much of everything of yourselves that he knows that you don’t always believe him when he tells you your beautiful. That sometimes he knows you slip into the background, because you don’t believe your light shines brighter than what you think.
Tenderly he brings his hand up from your chin to wipe your tears. As your heart hammers in your ears and you feel your pulse race you take a shaky breath before you continue explain yourself. “I’ve struggled looking into the mirror most of my life Austin. Yeah, sometimes I can look into it and be fine with myself, and sometimes even happy but for the majority of it I hate who I see. I just look and I see everything I hate and don’t like; I see everything I wish I could change about me. “You tearfully tell him as he slowly wraps his arms around you as you continue to stare at him with broken eyes. “So, I decided that I’d finally do something to change that, even though I went back and forth on it for years I was going to finally pick one or two things about my body I hated the most. Narrow it down to those two or that one thing and get the work done to change it. Then maybe if I finally changed part of what I saw that I might actually like what I see.” You finish before burying your head into his chest, causing his arms to crush you against him.
“Oh Y/N baby.” He murmurs into your hair as he feels his heart shatter at your answer. The dark markings under the robe now making sense and crushing him. While he knew that you had issues with your self-image, but he didn’t know that you literally wanted to change yourself. He also felt instantly torn too. While he knows you don’t see yourself as he sees you, he still can’t fathom it. He doesn’t understand how you can’t see how beautiful your eyes are, especially when they light up with laughter. He swears he can see galaxies in your Y/E/C eyes in those moments. He can’t wrap his head around how you can’t see your smile and not see how bright and infectious it was, or how you couldn’t see how your beauty was ethereal. That you were his own personal Aphrodite in every sense, imperfections, and all. Because even your imperfections were beautiful because they help make you. Every part of you was beautiful.  He also knew ultimately that he wanted you to be happy more than anything, and if really changing something about yourself is what truly would make you happy, then he would support you.
Austin held you tightly, holding back his own tears as you cried into his chest. Letting out some of your anguish as he lovingly held you. As he holds you a memory of your first birthday with him came to him. He remembers he got you a few things, but he remembers you actually squealing when you opened the huge book that was a collection of Shakespeare’s completed works. He also remembers you opening it to search for a certain sonnet. “I grant I never saw a goddess go. My mistress when she walks treads on the ground. And yet by heaven I think my love is rare, as any she belied with false compare.” Austin softly recites in his deep voice; his chest gently vibrates under you as you start to calm your cries as you listen to him. Looking up to him you see his eyes lovingly stare at you before he explains the seemingly random recitation to you. “I remember you telling me that was your favorite sonnet because of how much he loved her. He points out that she’s not perfect, she’s not the most beautiful, that she’s not the most pleasant sounding in it, yet he loves her so much that he believes that it’s truly rare. That she’s his true love with no compare. “, Austin explains as he wipes your tears. His words already tugging at your heartstrings despite your emotional turmoil remembering the night he’s referencing.
 “You said you loved that because to you that was real. That real love was knowing that your person wasn’t perfect but loving them and believing that those make them a rarity was what real love should be. Over the years I’ve come to agree with you more on that, and I so full heartedly believe that our love is real.” He tells you as he deeply stares into your eyes, hoping you truly hear him, and hear all he has to say. His words squeezing your heart as you begin to hang onto every word he says, “Because even though I didn’t see everywhere you marked, I know all those places you circled and outlined are things I love. I know because I love everything about you. Because you are so awe-inspiringly beautiful that when I look at you, I see love and home. “You see pure love in his eyes as his words pour from his lips, his deep voice soothing you as his loving grip on your heart begins to comfort you. “Cause fuck as cheesy as it is, you’re imperfectly perfect. I know it’s cliché’, but it’s so damn true Y/N. “Austin tells you as he moves and moves a hair behind your ear before cupping your cheek. He softly stares at you, biting his lip before he suddenly asks you, “Will you please go lay down and take the robe off?” His question startles you and as you look into his blue eyes all you see is tender love and concern. You bite your lip and stare at him, too focused on his eyes as his mouth turns down some at your hesitancy. “Please Y/N.” He softly pleads as he stares into your eyes. Biting your lip you nod and softly presses a kiss to your forehead before you left the bathroom.
Going into the room you shakily take off your robe and lay on top of the bed, as you laid there you started to feel more vulnerable before you hear Austin’s footsteps. Crawling onto the bed holding a wet cloth he places a knee on each side of your legs. He bites his lip as he looks at all the markings littered across your body, each black stain of ink on you striking his heart. “I know you see something wrong with all these places you highlighted, but all I see are pieces of art I’d worship at an altar.” Austin tells you as he delicately drags his soft gaze over your body, as you bite your lip and fidget with your hands. Fighting the urge to cover yourself up, and part of you breaks even more with that as tears start to well up again. “I see every part of you of you and I know there’s not enough time on this earth, or words in any language for me to pronounce my devotion to this gorgeous body that holds the most ethereal soul I know.” He tells you as he leans down to slowly drag the soft cold cloth against your thigh. His words tightening your chest as you watch, filling the cracks in the self-hate with love. “The thighs you want to change, are thighs I love. “He softly tells you as he works on wiping the marker off your skin.
“They’re the thighs that I love to feel in my hands, or to feel my head against when I lay on your lap. They’re the thighs I can’t stop looking at when you wear that one pair of jeans that drive me crazy.” He tells you with a light chuckle, you give a small watery giggle as he continues to softly rub the soft fabric against you until the ink is gone. As you watch him start to wipe off the other thigh, you see him bite his lip and his face start to softly concentrate as he continues,” Even the things you hate about them I love. I know you’ve mentioned they jiggle too much; we couldn’t disagree more. I adore the way the look when I see you walk around in nothing but my shirt, I love how they feel in my hands whenever I touch them.” He confesses as he finishes wiping the ink of your other thigh. “Oh Austin” You softly swoon as he shakes his head. “I’m not finished Y/N. I’m going to tell you what I love about every place you marked up.” He tells you gently but firmly as he stares into your eyes. Already so fully in love with him, you didn’t think you could fall deeper for him, but you were proved wrong by his words.
He then softly drags the cloth up your body towards your hips. He bites his lip briefly as he sees the ink littered on it. “These hips you don’t like? I think they’re my absolute favorite part of you to hold.” He tells you softly as he begins to gently rub at the markings. “Whether it’s during passionate moments that give me anchor, or those relaxed moments when I just want to hold you to me as we spend time with friends and I just want to feel you, or when we’re in the kitchen and some song you really like comes on and you want to dance, I feel like they were made for me to hold. That where I’m supposed to be is holding you. “Austin tells you as he continues to wash you off, his deep voice seeping with adoration as he stares down at you. “Oh, I love you so much Austin.” You softly say as you hold back tears from his words chipping away at your self-hate.
“I love you too baby, but I just wish you could see what I see.” He tells you as he finishes removing the ink from your hip, softly erasing the dark ink. “Home feels like my arms around you.” He tells you as he finishes cleaning the markings on your hips, dragging the cloth to your stomach. “You’re my home too Austin, but I don’t know how I can see what you do when all I see are glaring reasons I’m not enough.” You softly tell him as you start to fiddle with your hands again, the love his words filling you with fueling your brutal honesty. “I know you mean everything you tell me; I know you believe every word you say so much that I almost, almost, let myself believe you before it just comes crashing back. It all comes back that I don’t feel pretty enough, thin enough, sexy enough, nice enough, and just enough.” You tell him holding back tears as you lay under him. “I just want to be enough.” You whisper to him as he stares at you, his heart breaking even more as the words seem to echo in the quiet bedroom.
“You are enough though. You’re more than enough, and I hate that you feel that way Y/N.” He tells you softly, his raspy voice cracking as he softly washes the ink. “You are so fucking beautiful that I can’t believe that you’re really mine, that you despite all this shit that comes with my crazy life that you think I’m worth all the fucking trouble. When you could go have a normal life with a guy that can give you all I can without the bullshit. I don’t care what the size on the labels of your clothes are, because your body drives me so fucking crazy.” Austin tells you as his cracking voice permeated his emotional honesty as he continues to remove the black ink that was breaking both your hearts. “You are so sexy; I’d spend hours with you and it’s never enough. I’ll never get enough of you.” He tells you passionately as pauses holding the soft cloth to you as he stares at you, his words still filling you with love, and slowly chipping more at the self-hate swirling inside you. “You are so fucking enough, that you’re the only woman I want to be with Y/N. The only woman I want by my side for the rest of my life, the only woman I want to have children with, the only woman I want to be my future. And I’ll do anything on this fucking earth to make you feel enough. “Austin passionately tells you before he pauses on the smeared ink on your stomach to lean down and softly kiss you. Pouring his love and adoration for you as he presses his pillowy lips against yours.
“I’ll spend the rest of my life doing anything and everything I can to make sure you know you’re enough, that you’re beautiful, that you’re amazing.” He confesses as you two break apart, and he stares at you with such care and devotion, it causes your chest to tighten as the self-hate slowly starts to dissipate. “I just want you to feel, happy, enough, and loved by my side.” Austin softly tells you as you return his gaze of love, wondering how he was always so amazing in the back of your mind. As he leans down to softly kiss you again, you wrap your arms around his shoulder, softly enjoying the comfort of his love and lips. As you two kissed, you couldn’t help but want more. You started to want his touch to feel the small gaps of his adoring words. “Baby, I’m not done talking yet.” He softly says breaking apart when you try to deepen the kiss, trying to ignore the pout that instinctively fills your lips at his words. Moving one arm from his shoulder you cup his face as you bite your lip and softly request, “Please, just make me feel beautiful.”
Looking into your eyes he knows he’d never deny that request, nor would he ever want to. Staring into your eyes, looking for any doubt or anything that would signal you’re too vulnerable to continue the path you want before he kisses you again. His soft lips passionately pressing against yours before the kiss deepens. Wrapping your arm back around his shoulders, you anchor too him as you begin to feel his passionate adoration. Breaking apart for air he rakes his eyes down your body. “You are so fucking beautiful.” He raps out as your hand trails to the bottom of his shirt to tug at it for him to remove it.  As he removes his shirt, your hands instantly go to his firm chest, only for his large hand to grab yours as he shakes his head. “No baby, this is going to all about you, and making you feel beautiful, wanted, sexy, enough, anything I need to make you feel better.” He softly tells you as he takes your hands and pins them above your head gently against the bed, before removing his hand and softly smiling when you keep them there. Kissing you again, he quickly moves his lips from yours and starts to trail them across your neck. His full lips softly trailing down your chest as you can feel that internal coil start to ignite, getting hotter as his lips get closer to your chest.
Gasping as you feel his mouth enclose around your nipple, you couldn’t help the moan that escaped you as he started to suck on it and swirl his tongue around the bundle of nerves. That coil getting hotter as his large hand groped the other and started to gently massage it. Your hands grip the sheets beneath them as he lavishes your chest with attention, making you moan and arch as you feel yourself get wetter. He releases your nipple with a pop before he starts to kiss down from your chest over your stomach. Blue eyes swimming with lust and adoration as he looks at you, the coil burning more as he kisses down your body. As he started to kiss and nibble along your thighs, so close to where you needed him the most and driving you crazy with need. Everything starting to slip from your mind as pleasure started to build up inside you. Feeling his warm hands grab your underwear you lift your hips to help him slide them off. As you watched him grab your thighs and reveal your dripping pussy to him, you couldn’t put into words how his hungry gaze made you feel. The coil inside you burning hot as you get wetter, moan as you watch his face get closer before he gives your clit a few kitten licks.
The small movements pleasurably keeping that coil smoldering as he starts to eat you out. Wrapping his lips around your button he starts to suck as you feel his finger start to tease your folds. As quick as his finger was there it was gone as he moved his mouth down to thrust his tongue inside you. Throwing your head back you moan as you feel his large hands on your thighs firmly grasp the flesh there as he keeps you from closing them. Each movement of his tongue sending waves of pleasure through your body, intensifying as you feel him groan against you. Tightly you hold onto the sheets, digging into them as you start to move your hips as the pleasure started to overtake you. Every though, every insecurity dropped from you mind as all you could focus on was everything Austin was making you feel. “Goddamn Y/N I swear you look like a fucking goddess, like my own Aphrodite like this.” Austin rasps out to you as he pulls his mouth off you for a moment, and while you want his lips back on you the sight of him looking up at you with your juices on his chin and his words inflame your core even more as you lowly moan at the sight.
You watch as he takes his thumb and wipes his chin, moaning along with him as he sticks it in his mouth, The obscene view making you think you might soak the bed with how wet you were getting. “My own goddess, that makes the sweetest ambrosia.” He lowly tells you before he dips his head back between your thighs and goes back to eating you out. His soft plush lips teasing your clit as he brings his fingers to your entrance. Only removing them when he would replace them with his tongue, solely focused on bringing you closer and closer to edge. Your moans filling the room with his occasional groans. His ministrations fueled more as he feels your walls tighten around his fingers. He groans around your clit making that coil tighten as you feel the vibrations along with his tongue. “A-Austin, I’m so so close.” You manage to moan out in your pleasure filled haze as he brings you closer to orgasm. Your words seem to spur him on more as he thrusts his fingers harder and giving your clit a harsh suck as he pushes you over the edge.
Your pleasure filled scream filling the room as you swear stars explode into your vision. Your orgasm powerfully washing over you in waves of pleasure, and Austin slows his movement but continues to gently drink you up through your orgasm. Overstimulation sending pleasurable electric shocks as he gently sucks on you whimper and moan. Panting you look down as he lifts his head, chin glistening as he stares up at you with hunger. “I love you Y/N.” He tells you as he wipes his face before moving back up your body to pull you into a kiss. “I’ll never get enough of seeing you like this, of seeing your so beautiful and full of want and need.” Austin tells you as you two break apart to lean up to start removing his pants. Biting you lips you watch as he unbuttons them and does the zipper before grasping them and the waistband of his briefs and pulling them down. Revealing his long thick dick, the head leaking precum making that coil ignite again. Leaning down he pulls you into another kiss, you wrap your arms around his shoulders. Holding onto him as your tongues dance against each other’s you feel his dick rub against your folds. Austin swallows his moans as he gently teases you before pressing his head at your entrance.
Breaking apart you throw your head back and moan as he starts to fill you up, the feeling of his dig slowly sinking into. You try to commit the groan he lets out when he bottoms out to memory, but you know it’s futile with how much the pleasure of feeling him in you takes over your mind. Slowly he pulls his hips back only to firmly thrust back into you, setting a slow but powerful pace. Your nails dig into his shoulder as his thrusts tighten that coil, your body begging to be totally consumed by pleasure as he continues to snap his hips back and forth. His dick stretching you in the most euphoric ways with his movements, one of his hands find your hip as you meet his thrusts. Both of your moans and groans filling the room as that coil burns even hotter, though you can’t help the loud moan that escapes you as he moves his hand to your thigh and grips it to move you leg up higher, the new angle tightening that coil as he brings you to that familiar edge again.
Each thrust sends electricity flying through your veins as he begins to hit that certain spot inside you. Digging into his shoulder chants of his name small prayers fall through your lips in between moans as he drags you closer and closer to the edge with his powerful thrusts, you hips moving to meet each one. That coil inside you getting tighter as burns hotter, your walls futtering around his dick as he drags it back and forth against your walls. Suddenly the coil snaps and another strong orgasm hits you like a tidal wave as you cum around his dick, faintly feeling his harsh grip on you hip as he gives a few more thrusts before stilling in you. Waves of pleasure consuming you, the feeling of his warm cum painting your walls adding to it as you moan. Collapsing against you, you welcome the feeling of his weight against you as you both lay there panting. Enjoying the feeling of still being close as euphoric pleasure continues to jolt through your bodies. After catching his breathe for a moment, Austin leans up easing his weight off you as he gives you a tender kiss. Slowly slipping out of you he rolls his body to the side, his arm reaching over to roll you over and pull you against him.
“I love you so much Y/N.” Austin softly tells you after a moment as he moves a piece of your hair from your face. “I love you too Austin.” You respond with a soft smile as you tenderly look at him. Feeling so loved and cherished, and knowing how luck you were to have someone like him in your life. Always there to make the lows better. “I really do love you so much Austin. Thank you for always being there when it seems I’m at my lowest. “You honestly confess to him as he holds you closer to him. “I love you, and I’ll always be there to help you when your low just like I’ll always be there to celebrate the highs. I also promise I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure that you feel loved and enough.” Austin tells you tenderly before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss. Laying there in his arms, you start to feel tired and feel your eyes get heavier from the days event. Letting yourself enjoy the feeling of cuddling with Austin you slowly allow yourself to drift off to sleep.
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raibebe · 3 years
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Love Is On Air
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Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk
A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.
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You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.
Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.
“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.
“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”
While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.
“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”
“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”
Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.
“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail [email protected] to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.
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The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.
Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.
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The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.
Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.
“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.
Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.
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“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.
And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”
The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.
“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”
While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.
From: Johnny Are you watching our show?
To: Johnny Sure, you look good today
From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)
“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”
“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.
That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.
With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.
Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.
“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.
When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.
“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.
“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”
Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”
Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.
“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.
“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”
“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.
“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.
For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.
“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.
“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.
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“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.
“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”
Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.
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staysuki · 2 years
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20. FREEZE [BATTLEGROUNDS PART I]
—living your entire life as a regular mortal, a hard adjustment comes into your life as you’re suddenly thrown into a world of fantasy and magical beings. in a school built specifically to train magic, chaos ensues as you try to navigate through a new supernatural life.
warnings: arachnophobia, claustrophobia, violence, all that jazz. (still a tamer chapter in comparison to the second part).
word count: 7k
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there’s a certain smell that greets one’s senses whenever they enter a library—the dusty musk of worn-down pages paired with the fresh smell of parchment of the new ones. whether a person is a bookworm or not, it’s always a comforting smell, especially when matched with the comforting silence of the room alongside the sounds of pages turning.
but at some point, when all you’ve done is hang out at the library for prolonged periods of time, you’ll either learn how to tune out the familiar senses or get sick of it.
for you, you’re almost leaning into the latter, but for kim seungmin, you wonder why he hasn’t ripped off his hair yet.
“you’re staring,” kim seungmin grumbles, barely bothering to tear his eyes away from whatever book he’s reading.
“i was just wondering how you’re still not sick of this place, i think i’m getting claustrophobia,” you comment, going back to your own readings.
“i like it here, simple as that.”
you drop the conversation, always knowing that small talk isn’t productive in seungmin’s world.
it’s the end of the first semester, you’ve already spent months in this place, and the majority of the final half of it, you’ve spent with seungmin—or reading, to be more specific. it’s hard to notice his presence especially when he chooses not to do so with you.
although you’ve had a rocky start, it’s safe to say that you’re getting the hang of being in school—but you’re yet to see the whole world, and you don’t even know if you’re ready for that.
learning with seungmin has also been sort of an awkward adjustment, at first, you didn’t know why you had to go eons into the past just to manifest your power, but when he saw your secret journal, he actually became quite helpful. he was a man of research, and he was eager to help anyone who shares the same enthusiasm in doing so.
you’ve learned plenty about the laws, the hidden rules, and people’s abilities. one time, when you instinctively started ranting about yang jeongin (as you always do), seungmin pointed out the flaws in his abilities.
first: even if his powers take usage of his arcana pool, the non-stop running also takes a toll on his actual physical capabilities.
second: even though he’s fast, environmental factors affect his speed.
even if seungmin didn’t go into full details about his remarks, it was easy enough to understand. first, in order to outrun jeongin, you must take him on wild goose chase until he gets tired—or, bash his legs. honestly, either or.
second, going through rough terrain would be difficult for him. although he’s probably trained hard enough to be able to do parkour, he can’t exactly make use of his abilities if he’s falling off a cliff unless he somehow learned how to bend the rules of physics. still, you take into account the possibility of him being able to run through a 90-degree incline.
you tried asking seungmin more about different flaws in a person’s power but he just snubbed you, saying that he’d much rather see you observe it by yourself—so he wasn’t the spoiling type, he only gives you a few treats here and there whenever you’d do well on your studies. it felt very… paternal.
whenever he’d keep answers from you, you roll your eyes at him. it’s not like you couldn’t do it, you were just too lazy to do so. besides, if you had the smartest guy at your disposal who you could ask for answers, why bother learning for yourself?
but out of all the things that seungmin has taught you, one thing has always been stuck in your mind: forbidden magic users.
when you tried asking for more context, he outright ignored you. probably something so taboo that even his thirst for knowledge couldn’t get past. so, you just set out on your own to find information about it.
when you combed through the entire library of the good campus, you’ve found nothing but the glitterized version of the school’s history and different world events. there was barely even any information about your own dimension.
so when you thought that you’d get better luck finding information in the evil campus’ library—a.k.a. seungmin’s de facto residence—you didn’t expect that you’d still be so wrong.
“you’ve walked around 5 times in the span of 10 minutes, what are you looking for?” seungmin asks, removing his reading glasses to place it on a nearby lightstand. he’s sitting on a plush velvet chair, legs crossed and his back straight as he holds his thick book—really nailing down on the father-like image, you almost laughed at his face.
you debated telling him or not but you know nothing ever gets past kim seungmin so you just decide to be honest, “stuff about forbidden magic and whatnot,” you say with a shrug, making him sigh disappointedly at you.
“i told you, that topic’s off-limits,” he reiterates and you just roll your eyes at him.
when you go back to looking through the shelves, he just calls out to you, “you’re not gonna find anything in any of the libraries. that kind of information is hidden in the archives.”
you suddenly perk up and look back at him, “and where is that?”
“here at fairewood? only headmasters have access to it, not even the student council can. around the cities? it’s as strict as government agencies and only specific people in high positions can go in.”
you grunt. a dead end either way, but it’s information that you kept in the back of your mind—remembering that minnie is “royalty” of sorts, you wondered if you could do something about that. Especially since the girl seems to be knowledgeable about specific types of lore, like prophecies and the forbidden magic stuff.
“i told you to just focus on what will help you right now, the battlegrounds tournament is this friday,” seungmin scolds.
“that soon?!” you exclaim, not realizing that weeks had already gone by and you feel like you haven’t done anything productive in the slightest.
sensing your unease, he sighs, “you’re gonna be fine, first timer anxiety is normal.”
you just nod at him, not really feeling like you want to explain the whole reason why you’re freaking out—jeongin’s challenge. you groan internally, not wanting to admit that he’s actually causing a bit of disarray in your nerves.
you want to tell him that it's not just first-timer's anxiety. it's the i-don't-have-powers-and-i-might-die anxiety.
any other day, you’d take jeongin on, but in an unfiltered environment where he can go all-out without much repercussions? it’s intimidating. 
he could literally run around in circles around you, trap you in the middle of his self-made tornado and suffocate you. or he could crush your entire physical body just by running into you at full-speed, like getting hit by a train. of course it doesn’t help that yuqi keeps ranting on about different ways jeongin could murder you—her personal favorite was the thought of jeongin tying a rope around you and dragging you across the ground until you’re nothing but bones.
alternatively, you shift the topic to seungmin, “aren’t we first years? isn’t this technically your first time too?”
seungmin shrugs, “not really, i had it in high school as well, but on a smaller scale.”
“oh wow, so everyone has experienced it before?”
“not necessarily, some schools don’t have a budget for a simulated arena, y’know.”
you nod in understanding, you didn’t even realize that financial factors still count here and people aren’t just casting magic for everything.
you give up on trying to find whatever clue of forbidden magic knowledge you can find and just slump down on the chair, your arm accidentally knocking over seungmin’s glass of water and spilling all over his books, “oops,” you say trivially, as if not really caring.
he clicks his tongue at you before placing his hand on top of the books, a small purple light emits from his palm and instantly, the books turn dry.
ok, flex. you mutter to yourself but seungmin doesn’t comment on it, but instead, he checks his watch and points a stern look at you, “good night, y/n.”
you roll your eyes at him and with a laugh, you give him a slight wave, “alright fine, i’m leaving, see ya.”
going back-and-forth between the two campuses has always been such a hassle, thankfully, ode told you about a special hallway for authorized personnel that works as a much more convenient shortcut to transfer between the buildings.
you were grateful that he even went through all the trouble to get you a special pass for it—though recently, since you’ve been spending so much time at the evil’s library, the gnome guards are already dozed off on their stations, no longer having the need for you to take out the pass.
the part you don’t like about it, however, is that it’s located in a semi-annex that’s still under “renovation”—hyunjin ranted explained to you that the campus doesn’t really bother with trying to remodel it’s building nor refurbish it unlike good’s. 
so, the lights were barely working, some parts of the hallway being extra dim, and the small creaking of the doors brought upon by small whistles of the wind was enough to creep you out.
“would be nice to have some lamp powers right now,” you mutter under your breath as you squint your eyes through the darkness, the pitch black area barely fought away by your cellphone’s flashlight.
suddenly, you hear hushed voices whispering about something in the distance, and on instinct, you turn off your flashlight and start walking in crouched silence. great, y/n, not suspicious at all. it’s not like you’re committing a crime, you had the right to be walking through here.
you hear an unfamiliar voice lecturing an unseen companion, but when you hear the other person speak, you suddenly stand upright, an unknown tension released from your shoulders.
“felix?” you called out, 100% certain that it’s him because there was no one else with his voice in this school.
the conversation runs to an abrupt pause when they hear you call out, nothing but silence echoing through the walls, which gives you goosebumps.
and in a flash, you see felix’s bubbly face peek out from the corner, the large smile illuminated on his face from his own flashlight that he just turned on, “y/n? what a coincidence!” he greets you normally.
he joins you in your hallway, linking your arms together, although it was weird, you let it be. “let’s walk back to campus together!” he invites cheerfully.
“who were you talking to?” you ask, trying to look back at where he came from but it was pitch black.
“hm? just the evil veep,” he says nonchalantly, not looking back with you.
“why?” you ask further, curious once more about the mystery man that you’ve been hearing about.
“i’m in the wrong campus in the middle of the night, what else do you think?” he says jokingly.
“how are you even in here? i thought students weren’t allowed to cross over unless you have a special pass,” you inquired.
“oh, but i do have a special pass,” he winks at you with a jolly smile but doesn’t elaborate further.
you opted not to ask any further, especially since, weirdly enough, despite his amicable aura, there’s a part of felix that prevents you from prying into his life any further. so, you decided on asking about someone else instead.
“hey, what does the evil VP look like?” you ask, and beside you, felix strokes on his chin as he looked up, thinking about it.
and in your mind, you kept chanting that he’d remember it.
“pale? yeah, kinda looks a bit like jeongin sometimes!” he describes, and your mind just reeled in a bunch of questions.
felix remembers his face, and presumably, their conversation. does that mean the VP’s powers aren’t working anymore? eunha did say that the powers that affected others were just residual magic from the trials, so maybe ode, changbin, and seungmin were all in the bleachers when it happened. 
or is it because they were just talking up until a few minutes ago? or perhaps it’s because felix is close to the VP? so many questions, but you know only the actual person itself would be able to answer it.
with nothing else to talk about, you both just continue the walk back in silence. with you slowly separating your arm from felix, forgetting that he had you two linked, because you felt awkward.
at the intersection between the male and female dormitories, felix bids you adieu as he goes to his room, and you to yours.
however, another surprise comes your way as the door to your dorms were open. intrigued, you quickened your pace and went inside, only to be greeted by the sight of luscious red hair and pale body with glittering scales—but no tail.
the woman stood at around 5’11, making you crane up your neck to see her face. a vicious frown etched on her mouth as her eyes were as clear as the deep blue sea yet glows with a sea green emerald hue.
suddenly, you were rooted in place.
“but mom—”
“no buts, minnie nicha, you’re not participating and that’s final!” she exclaimed with a stern yet melodic voice that sent static all over your body.
with your body frozen, all you could do was scan your eyes on the surroundings. yuqi was on the couch, munching on some popcorn while watching the two women interact with much amusement. disappointing but not surprising.
meanwhile, minnie was covered up in a thick blanket as she stood, her face looking ashy and dull with snot threatening to fall out of her nose. you wanted to ask what was wrong but your voice felt trapped in your own throat, your nerves being called forth by minnie’s mother who’s barely even taking notice of you.
after getting the brunt of minnie's powers on multiple occasion, you can immediately ascertain that your current paralysis is caused by the siren's magic, yet possibly due to minnie's mother's higher power level, she doesn't even need to burst into song.
minnie and her mother get into a glaring competition, but her mother’s words were final, giving no space for her to rebut so her mother simply walks away, landing a small gaze on your direction before turning away to leave through the door. all of a sudden, your knees buckled in relief, feeling seasick.
“dude what’s up with you,” yuqi asked but you just waved her off as you tried to collect yourself.
“what was that about?” you asked minnie who slumps her body on the couch.
“my stupid mom and her stupid maternal instincts,” she grumbles with her face pressed on a pillow.
“she got a fever due to food poisoning and then her mom pulled her out of battlegrounds,” yuqi summarized.
you sat on the couch with them, patting minnie’s head, “there, there.”
“i’m already fine!” she squirmed, but when she sat upright in a flash, she had to stop herself from gagging. “i think i just ate too much shrimp.”
“that’s what you get for eating too many sea cockroaches,” yuqi deadpans, making minnie hit her with a pillow.
“you guys eat sea creatures too?” you ask dumbfoundedly so minnie just rolls her eyes.
“we’re sirens, y/n, c’mon, get with the program.” she says but proceeds back to whining about missing battlegrounds, “and i was so excited for friday too! ugh!!”
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a part of you wishes that it could’ve been you who got food poisoning, it could’ve been you who had a strict helicopter mom that stormed the school the first second she heard of her daughter’s condition.
even when parents weren’t allowed to visit their child within the campus (except for certain occasions), minnie’s mother almost raised the ocean against the campus just to riot for her daughter’s health.
you wake up at 3 AM on a friday, going outside of your room to see yuqi already prepared for the battlegrounds, “stay sharp, champ, we need to be at the arena by 4:30.”
you groan outwardly, at the same time that minnie does but for completely different reasons, “and i still can’t participate, ugh! i thought they would’ve changed their mind.”
“as if the school would go against one of their big sponsors,” yuqi points out with a laugh, making minnie grumble even more.
“i hope i can at least watch.”
the three of you walk together to the end of the campus, where a large clearing holds only a portion of the student populace, “splitting it into different batches as well?”
“yup, probably so it'll go faster,” yuqi pops the P in emphasis as she looks around at her viewed opponents, meanwhile, minnie hasn’t stopped grumbling since you left your dorm room.
all around the grassy field stands about hundreds of students, more than you can count. both varying in campuses, but with the mandatory battlegrounds outfit, it’s hard to tell which student comes from which side.
except for minnie, who’s wearing her pajamas because she isn’t allowed to sneak in. “i’m gonna be with the volunteers in the viewing room, good luck y’all.”
you and yuqi wave goodbye to the increasingly sad minnie who gives you both motivating hug, but the impending doom that’s soon to come was attacking your nerves.
“so, how do we go in?” you ask, hoping for any sort of distraction through conversation.
“they split us further into groups based on our grades and classification, then the top rankers go in first.” she explains.
“but why though? doesn’t that mean they’d have to be inside longer?” you ask but she just grins evilly.
“because y/n, that’ll give them enough time to either find a hiding place, or set a trap for poor souls that’re just about to go in,” yuqi explains, giving you goosebumps.
you sigh, remembering that it’s not just jeongin’s group you’re going against because everyone wants to survive or prove their worth. that means, if you want to live until the end of battlegrounds, you’d have to step up your drive.
papers start to materialize in the sky, slowly fleeting down as each note softly flies toward it’s designated owner. when a paper glides in front of you, you take with hesitant hands, seeing that it’s your assigned starting groups—and when yuqi realizes yours, she looks at you with wide surprised eyes.
“how are you in the first group??” she asks bewildered, looking at the card that flew to your hands.
you just shrugged, “maybe they think i’d die if i go in last or something.”
yuqi shows you her card, “i’m in the second group so you’d have to wait 10 minutes before i can meet up with you. we should probably strategize,” yuqi turns into serious mode, directing you of possibilities that might happen once you’re inside.
“so, the most generic simulated arena is the woodlands terrain. basically just a hugeass forest, it’s not super hard to find a hiding place,” she starts.
you nod along as she continues, “once you’re in, just go find a nearby tree and mark it with your dagger, make sure to follow the tree’s lines so it’s not too obvious you tampered with it. maybe make a distinct S line—S for Save me, Song yuqi.” she jokes but you just roll your eyes, not able to bring yourself to laugh with all the nerves in your system going haywire.
“i know you and jeongin have those rules you agreed to. i think he’s in the second group as well so i’ll tell him that we’ll take the western area—is that good?” she asks, finishing off her initial plan.
“yeah, whatever. i don’t even know what do,” you answer so yuqi just gives you a thumbs up. your group gets called at the head of the line, so, with one final goodluck, you two split off.
in front of you is a large dome arena built with black tinted glass all over. still, it doesn’t look as large as it was advertised to be.
“it’s a pocket dimension,” you hear minho say beside you, suddenly just appearing from somewhere amongst the crowd.
“a what?” you ask.
“it’s bigger on the inside,” is all he says before he walks away again.
weird fella.
you look around, trying to see whether you’d spot a familiar face with you—preferably not one that’s out to kill you.
unfortunately, you only recognize chan and jisung. one who’s on the enemy’s side and one who wants nothing to do with your competition with jeongin. you note how jisung isn’t wearing his headphones but he still carries himself with the same modest confidence that he always does.
well, you were aware that nobody’s allowed to bring anything but the given battlegrounds starter kit, so you wonder how he’ll utilize his power without the use of technology.
you try your best not to psych yourself out, chanting yuqi’s plan over and over in your head to calm yourself. soon, you hear the loud gongs indicating the start of the event. some students cheer to hype themselves up, while some (including you) try to tune out the noise, trying not to get too into your heads.
the volunteers hand everyone a small pouch filled with the starter items—one healing potion, a small dagger, and an emergency button. not much and definitely not anything that’ll save your ass from imminent death, but all you need to do is wait until yuqi gets to your spot. it’s not that hard, right?
everyone crosses the barrier between the school and the arena—you hesitate for a bit but ultimately took the courageous step through the shimmering light of the doors. if it were up to you, you would’ve turned heel and ran away but the volunteers watching over the line would’ve probably just pushed you anyway, and maybe so does the students in line behind you. 
as you step into the arena, darkness fills your vision, suddenly feeling woozy as you close your eyes, awaiting your imminent doom. the transition into the new dimension wasn’t a pleasant sensation, feeling the loss of your senses as everything is just filled with a sense of nothingness before you soon feel a different world materializing around you.
when light fills the place, you slowly open to adjust to your surroundings, yet ultimately shell shocked as you see nothing but decrepit concrete walls, and bountiful vines crawling upon its structure, making it look like ruined architecture. you look up, as far as the eyes could see, and you see the sky—not the arena's roof—, yet an unknown measure of where the tall walls end. minho was right. it IS bigger on the inside. like a whole world of it's own. you suddenly wonder how such a simulation works but it dawns into you:
this is definitely not a forest.
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you’re so fucked. looking in front of you, you stand at the entrance with your mouth agape as you see nothing but one entrance into more walls, the size being too humongous to even figure out what sort of structure it is.
behind you, you see the portal’s shimmering lights slowly close as your only entrance disappears. you try to run for it, reaching out for safety, but your hands only meet the cold stonewall as the gate closes for good, leaving you in a deadend.
you look around, scared shitless. where are the other students? was everyone spawned in different locations?
you start walking around, nothing else to do but to find safety instead of standing like a moron in an open area. the emergency button feels tempting to use, but your pride gets the better of you, wanting to see things through, even if you’d barely last an hour.
further investigating the simulated arena, the walls just keep on going, making you feel claustrophobic at how such a large structure looms over you. crouching, you make sure to peek at every corner before making a turn, feeling like you’ll be going through a lot of twists and turns in this arena.
wait.
are you… in a maze?
it’s a possibility, but you can’t really say for certain, though the more you walk around, the more you realize that your guess may be correct.
you have no semblance of time, not knowing how long you’ve been walking around for, but the fact that your feet aren’t aching yet should be a sign that it hasn’t been that long. left alone with your thoughts, many possibilities run through your mind.
if this is indeed a maze, that means there must be an endgoal exit, right? or perhaps, it’s a closed off space meant to just pit the students against each other with no way to run or hide.
either way, you realize that jeongin has the upperhand. with his powers, he can just keep running around the maze, memorize the terrain, and obliterate anyone that gets in his way. it’ll be way too easy for him.
now, it’s just a waiting game to see how long it’ll take jeongin to find you. knowing him, it’ll probably be in the first ten minutes of your three-hour headstart agreement. although you hope that perhaps there’s another student that can face off with jeongin, you knew that he was considered one of the best students when it came to being a magic-user—and the others that can face off against him are on his side.
shit, you mutter at yourself, already feeling dejected. nevermind yuqi’s plan, you wouldn’t even be able to find each other unless you get graced with a stroke of luck. in comparison to jeongin who will surely have no problem finding his comrades.
walking in an endless maze with similar looking areas is a mentally draining task because you have no sense of direction or accomplishment. however, you soon find yourself in a clearing, one that leads to multiple paths—a crossroads, if you will. due to the size of the walls, even the clearing is humongous, almost twice the size of a basketball court.
it felt so… unnerving. the claustrophobia suddenly shifting into a feeling of being exposed. if you weren’t so desperate to find a way out, you probably would’ve turned around and basked in the faux safety of the tight walls.
but before you could even decide which direction to go, you hear rustling from the tall walls, followed by goosebumps on your skin, the hair on your arms suddenly standing as your fear instinct goes into overdrive 
what is that noise?
as the noise draws nearer, you feel the walls around you slightly shake as the rustling turns into alarming thuds. the sky above your starts to dim—no—something covering the light…
looking up, you see not one, not two, but eight giant beady eyes of pure blackness staring at you. a humongous, hairy eight-legged creature crawls along the walls, keeping its eyes on its prey: you.
you froze in fear, not knowing what to do as you face a kaiju spider. your brain keeps telling you to take out the emergency button, knowing that you’re a few seconds away from (possible) death.
but for some reason, your body can’t move, as if the fear numbed all the senses in your brains, unable to make them respond to each other. just then, another student runs in from a different path, arriving at the same intersection as you.
the student notices you first, about to lift their hands to fire a presumably magical attack, but it wasn’t until you pointed up, yelling, “SPIDER!!!” at the top of your lungs did they realize that there’re more alarming things at bay other than your presence.
with your warning, the student looks up, momentarily frozen in shock, possibly in the same way you looked like earlier, before snapping out of it. they raise their hands once more, streaks of green liquid spurts from their hands—though their hands were raised up to the spider, the students’ liquid projectile could only go up so high, thus landing a few feet near you.
forgetting your predicament, you continue watching them aim, seeing the spider inch closer down the floor. only when you felt liquid on your shoes did you snap out of your stupor, realizing that the student has been aiming for you all along.
when you try to lift your foot, you find yourself stuck to the ground, the green liquid serving as some sort of glue. realizing that the student was throwing you under the bus so they can run away, you desperately try to wiggle away as the giant spider inches closer to you, utterly attracted to a stationary and helpless prey. "fucking bitch!"
you curse yourself for letting your guard down and looking like a fool, thus, you crouch down to the ground, the sky above being replaced by the spider’s body as it dawns nearer, all you could do is fumble in your cloak for the button.
you can hear the spider’s soft hiss, ready to pounce, you snap your eyes shut, ready to accept defeat until you feel a gentle hand hold you by the shoulder, a deafening boom sounding in front of you, making your ears ring.
you watch the spider writhe on the ground, struggling to get up as a strong invisible force holds it down. in a flash, the spider rises to the air before getting slammed back down, crackling lights of black flashes spread throughout the spider’s body as the physical manifestation of the bearer’s power.
seeing the spider still alive, it gets raised again, the black flashes slithering to form a bigger black orb on top of it before it gets slammed on the wall, crushing it entirely. due to the force of the attack, the student from earlier gets caught in the crossfire, smacked down on the ground as the force becomes too much to bear.
though you can feel the slight trembling of the ground, you're thankful that you're far away enough not to be in the same boat.
with shaky pupils, you turn to the gentle hand holding your shoulder, before you turn to see who it belongs to, “m-minho?”
he looks back at you, holding your face in his hands as he surveys you for injuries, “you’re okay,”  he assures.
“w-what—”
before you could ask another question, he’s already running towards the other student, so you follow suit. though the student seems badly beaten, you notice that they stuck themselves to the ground using their own glue-projectile to fight against the onslaught of minho’s attacks. you see minho visibly sigh in relief.
“are they gonna be alright…?” you ask, reminding minho that you’re still there.
“oh uh yeah, the grounds are monitored, the volunteers will probably pick them up. heartbeat seems normal.” 
he starts to walk away, so you follow him, making him stop in his tracks, “why are you following me?” he asks, so you shrug.
“i almost died and you prevented that, i’d like to take my chances at survival by sticking with the strongest,” you say, but minho’s shoulders droop before he walks back to you.
“you can’t, it’ll be safer for both of us if we don’t stick together,”  minho says.
“but why?” you ask back, suddenly, his eyes flash with an angry glint.
“because i almost killed that other student because of you,” he says before walking away, not even bothering to wait whether you’d reply. his statement surprises you, so you don’t even bother following him.
dejected, you bottle those words in the back of your head as you continue your trek to nowhere, picking a different route than minho��s. as you keep walking, you notice the terrain slowly changing as you do further into a route.
instead of a concrete paradise, the ground below starts to become soft dirt, while the tall walls start to look like mountain sides. the same maze, yet a different look. you look back, walking a little bit to see where the two different terrains meet, and you’re lowkey amazed at the seamless transition of the environment.
you wonder whether different routes showcase different types of environments, but you didn’t feel like walking back to the intersection to check, scared that the spider respawned or something. you’ll take your chances at the mountainous terrain even if the passageways look more confusing.
at the corner of your eye, you see a faint glowing line leading somewhere, looking at it closely, you notice that it’s one of ode’s strategically placed threads. 
arachne’s thread. that son of a bitch.
it isn’t that hard of a connection to make that the giant spider must’ve been ode’s idea. looking back on it, it screamed ode. you try to wave your hands on the thread, checking to see if it would disappear or if you’d feel some sort of connection to it, but it simply stays floating in the air.
with nowhere else to go, you decide to follow the thread, wondering where it leads and why ode set it up. after sticking close to the walls and the thread, you end up coming across a small cavern opening, discreetly hidden between rocks.
a surge of relief washes over you, realizing that you might’ve come across a safe space. you crouch through the opening and see that it’s much more spacious on the inside, still, it’s a mere tiny cave with just enough space to rest. though you don't know why ode specifically led his threads here, it's worth a shot to trust it, right?
you slump into the corner, a long, frustrated sigh falls from your lips, your tears threatening to fall but you swallow the lump in your throat, rubbing your eyes to suppress the anxiety.
though the small cave gives you momentary comfort, including the shimmering hue of ode’s thread flittering around, you know you can’t stay here forever, not when the probability of someone else finding this spot is high.
besides, you never know, a giant snake might peek its head through the opening. though you wish you could fight back or give up, neither options seem viable to you. you curse out loud, angry at everything.
angry at the school, your life, yourself, angry at minho for leaving you behind.
speaking of minho, you still wonder what he meant by his phrase. why would you be the cause of his actions? does it have something to do with the way your powers work regarding 2seungmin’s explanation? possibly, but you still don’t understand.
but given your experience so far, it seems like you really need to stick with the powerful magic users if you want to fully understand your own abilities. but chan and minho, the people who came from the same world, want nothing to do with you.
and here you thought they’d be your closest friends, considering you should be the ones who relate to each other the most. perhaps they’re just entirely different people altogether, different from you.
because you definitely don’t want to stay here.
coming down from the high of earlier’s encounter, your ragged breathing turns slow as your eyes start to droop. it was understandable, you barely exercised back home and now you probably just walked more than 30 miles (you couldn’t tell) and encountered a giant spider that could’ve eaten you in one go.
you breathe in the air, thankful that it doesn’t smell of musk, like the concrete jungle from earlier. instead, the earthy ground radiates a sense of calm, the scent of lavender filling the cave.
you tried to make yourself smaller on the corner, clutching your dagger for dear life even though it’ll probably be of no help, given the adept magic users all over. you couldn’t even fight against glue!
still, the cold handle brings some sort of comfort to you, a sense of protection. the illusion of safety.
you let sleep overtake you, forcing yourself not to fall in too deep in case danger comes knocking. still, you couldn’t fight against your own body as your head falls to your knees, unable to stop the drowsiness from taking over.
slowly falling asleep, you feel yourself slump on the ground, feeling the soft cushiony dirt cradling you to sleep. though despite this, you were still aware of your surroundings.
just then, you hear footsteps outside the cave, drawing closer and closer to the concealed entrance. you immediately try to make yourself alert.
except you can’t.
your eyes are screwed shut with the feeling of sleepiness, your body unable to move as you feel sluggishly paralyzed. all you can do is stay rooted on the ground, seemingly unconscious yet aware.
that’s when you realize.
you weren’t tired or sleepy.
something, or someone, put you to sleep.
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thoughts and feedback pls 🤲
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kurosukii · 4 years
Text
𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞
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pairing: oikawa tooru x f!reader
summary: there’s no one you hate more on this earth than your school’s cocky volleyball captain, and being paired with him for a class project just honestly takes the cake. 
genre: college au, enemies to enemies fucking au.
warnings: 18+. hate sex (oiks is a meanie here but so are you, kinda), slight size kink, against the wall sex, facetiming (noncon to dubcon), exhibitionism (noncon to dubcon), voyeurism (noncon to dubcon), dacryphilia, ass play, multiple orgasms (oiks has mad stamina), degradation, slight praise, face-fucking, oral (m receiving), tit-fucking, unprotected sex, overstimulation, squirting, spanking, dirty talk, humiliation, dumbification, spitting, cumplay, creampie, hair pulling, pet names (bunny), implied seijoh four x reader
word count: 6.9k
author’s note: not much to say about this other than i’m a SEIJOH FOUR WHORE!!!! (let me know if i missed any warnings) (MINORS DNI)
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[2:11 PM]
you honestly think the world hates you.
you tried your hardest to stifle your groan and not slam your head on the desk when the professor called out your name with your self-proclaimed “enemy”, oikawa tooru, for the project that was worth forty percent of your grade this semester.
when class ended, you marched ‘respectfully’ to your professor to negotiate if you can work on this project alone, but even before a word even slipped out of your mouth, your professor raised their eyebrow at you, sensing what you were going to say and just said “just deal with it” and “stop acting like a high school student”.
well, that was an ice cold bucket of reality that was just poured on you.
you were definitely acting like a high school student, and the cause of your behavior was none other than one of your school’s most obnoxious athletes, oikawa tooru.
seriously, there was just something about him that irked you so much. maybe it’s an accumulation of all his actions, his smugness, and the way he turns his nose on everyone, but all the girls and guys seemed to keep running back to him. everyone saw him as the ‘perfect king’, but you knew better. at least, you seemed to think so.
sometimes, you’d feel embarrassed at the way you were feeling and acting. you were raised to be a respectful person with good manners and conduct, so every time you get the pep talk from the imaginary angel on your shoulder, you’d try your best to be amicable with oikawa for every interaction since you shared multiple classes with him. but every time you did so, oikawa would end up doing something that broke your resolve and you were back to square one again. it seemed like the guy got off to annoying the shit out of you and making your day terrible.
with the professor long gone from the lecture room, you were left alone with your thoughts, up until you heard someone click their tongue. you shook your head as you turned to the source of the sound.
“aw, do you not want to be paired with me that badly? i’m not that bad! i’m going to help you do the work if that’s what you’re so worried about, sweetheart,” oikawa taunted in that lilting voice of his, with brown eyes glinting in mischief as he tossed his hair back.
“fuck off, tooru. just don’t slack off on this project or i’ll kick your ass,” you threatened him, anger slowly rising. he laughed at you, mirth making his eyes disappear. your lips thinned to a line as your anger increased.
you called him by his first name, not bothering with the respect (if he even deserved that) that came with addressing someone with their family name since you ‘hated’ his guts anyway, but somewhere deep down, you called him tooru because you like the way it sounded.
you liked the way it fell from your lips with a sigh whenever you touched yourself in the privacy of your room. the post nut clarity always hits you hard after orgasming with his face in your mind. maybe that’s why you pretended to hate him so much, because you were really just like the other girls. you were just as enamored by him as the other fangirls were, only they embraced it while you still denied it. nevertheless, the hornier you felt for him, the easier it was to channel that into anger and exasperation against him.
meanwhile, you didn’t notice it, as you were too busy in your own bubble, but his eyes darkened when he heard his given name slip from your lips. he’s more accepting of his desire for you, fucking his fist nearly every night with the thought of you underneath him, begging him to fuck that naughty pussy of yours to oblivion.
oh he knew that you were just putting up a front, and he let you. he knew it in the way your stares would linger and change into something deeper—more carnal. you thought he wouldn’t notice.
but he did.
he notices everything about you just like how he notices every play on the court. he relishes in it, practically keeping a tally in his head, so when he finally gets to pound your cunt, he’d confront you about it, and there’s nothing you can do about but accept his cock and his words.
he shook his head from his dark, carnal thoughts and slowly walked towards you, shoulders tightening as he fought the urge to slam you down on the table and fuck your cunt and make you scream so loud that people will come running.
you stood your ground as you looked up at him, which is a feat because you were damn near shaking and the tightening coil in your lower stomach was not helping either.
damn you oikawa tooru, you growled in your head.
he leaned down towards you until your noses were almost touching, with his bubblegum breath fanning your face and chocolate eyes boring into your own. “don’t worry sweetheart, i’m not going to let you do this on your own. what kind of guy would i be if i let you slave over this without my help? tsk, that wouldn’t be very gentlemanly of me, now would it?” he says as he straightened his body, with attitude and face going back to his usual demeanor, different from the one before.
you sucked in a breath as he pulled away and he smirked at you. “see you later at 7pm, sweetheart. you know where my place is, don’t you?” he asked you absentmindedly, making your blood boil at the audacity of him expecting you knew where he lived, and you did, but that’s besides the point. he was just so fucking obnoxious.
you scoffed an affirmative at him which made his smirk grow wider. “count the hours until you get to see me again, darling. i know i will,” he winked salaciously as he turned his back on you, wiggling his fingers as a sign of goodbye. you didn’t bother to grace him with a respectful farewell. instead, you raised your middle finger at him that was accompanied by a glare.
he just laughed at you, “always so mad at me, sweetheart. maybe you need to remove some of that tension,” his gaze smoldered, eyes turning into molten brown.
you involuntarily gulped as he slowly looked you up and down. he made eye contact with you, eyes still dark, as he licked his lips. he looked like he was about to pounce on you and devour you. It took him every ounce of his focus and self-control before his lips curved into his i’m so perfect and you’re not smile and blew you a kiss as he finally walked off to his next class.
you bit your tongue to prevent yourself from screaming as you cursed oikawa in your head to hell and back. the nerve of this dickhead, you thought to yourself. you grumbled more to yourself as you hiked your bag over your shoulder and walked out of the lecture room. you were done for the day and despite what oikawa thinks, you weren’t going to count the hours until you get to be in his apartment with him. alone.
but then again, all you did was lie to yourself wherever he was concerned, because you definitely didn’t twiddle your thumbs for five hours, took a shower and shaved, basically pampered yourself to look good and decent for him. no, you definitely didn’t do any of that for him.
if you were paired with another person, you would have definitely arrived ten minutes before the set time, but because it was oikawa, you took your sweet time going to his apartment, annoyance brewing. what was so wrong with living on campus? you asked yourself along the way, which made you even more annoyed because he didn’t even offer to pick you up at the train station. not that he needed to, but the courtesy would’ve been nice and it would’ve made you see him differently, but he didn’t do any of that so you’re stuck stomping your way to his apartment building.
“are you sure about this, oikawa? makki and i don’t mind having front row seats to this shit,” mattsun smirked, arms resting on the back of the couch in the spacious apartment. oikawa invited them to hang out after practice because he said he had a “surprise” for them.
“don’t know about the other one there, though,” mattsun nodded to iwaizumi who was brooding by the floor to ceiling window, arms crossed as he raised his eyebrow at mattsun. “maybe he wants in on it,” makki piped which made all three of them laugh at iwaizumi while he just told all of them to fuck off. he didn’t want to admit it, but he wanted to see you put in your place as well.
he wouldn’t have given a fuck about your petty and sexual tension-filled issues with his captain, but you also gave him grief whenever he was with oikawa and what better way than to witness, and probably have a hand in, seeing you begging and whining for your cunt to be filled with cum?  
“don’t worry guys, you’ll definitely have your turns,” oikawa’s eyes glinted as he smirked at his friends. “looks like little bunny is running late,” he checked his wall clock and tutted to himself.
sheesh, guess the king really does live lavishly, you grumbled to yourself as you stared at the intimidating complex. most college students are broke, live in school sponsored dormitories, and survive on store bought ramen, but oikawa obviously isn’t like most college students. you shook your head at the clear social divide and pushed through the spinning doors, the cool air of the lobby blowing into your face as you shivered from the temperature.
you walked up to the receptionist’s desk–of course there’s a receptionist–and you asked her what floor and room number oikawa’s apartment was. you just about thanked her when your phone pinged so you took it out and checked the message.
“you’re running late, little bunny. might have to punish you for this.”
your legs squirmed as you felt your panties dampen at oikawa’s text. your clothes seemed hotter now and you pulled at your collar. you cleared your throat and nodded to the receptionist as you walked to the elevator.
before you knew it, you found yourself before oikawa’s door. you were about to knock but it opened, revealing his shirtless form. you gulped and couldn’t help but stare at his lithe body, with droplets of water slowly trickling down his abdomen and disappearing through the waistband of his sweatpants. you raised your eyes to meet his. he was smirking at you, his smug face satisfied with your perusal of him. he was drying his damp hair with a towel, and it made his biceps ripple. why does he have to be so goddamn obnoxious and hot.
“are you done staring at me bunny? as much as i love your gaze on my body, that’s not what you’re here for, unless…?” he taunted you, his body lazily leaning against the doorframe as his tongue slowly licked the bottom of his lip as he stared at you this time. you scoffed at him, and didn’t bother to wait for his invitation inside his apartment.
you lightly shoved him, careful not to make most of your skin touch, which was a feat since he was naked from the waist up. “you wish, tooru. stop being stupid and let’s get this done and over with,” you muttered in annoyance, standing in the middle of his living room with your arms crossed and quietly observing your surroundings. “and don’t call me bunny!” you snarled at him, eyes meeting his glowing brown ones.
“i’ll call you anything i want to, bunny, and seeing that you’re in my home, you don’t get to have the privilege to order me around here, understand?” he warned you, voice lowering by a few octaves. if you had a tail, it would’ve been tucked between your legs by now. you bit your tongue and nodded at him with your eyes lowered. he smiled devilishly at you and turned his still shirtless body in the direction of what you presumed to be his room.
“let’s do this in my room, bunny. i have everything we need there,” you followed him without a word, realising that you were indeed powerless here. you didn’t notice the smug smile he was sporting, however, because his muscular back was turned to you. each step to his bedroom was a step closer to what he and by extension, his friends, had in store for you.
you entered his room and you marveled at his king size bed that was covered in navy blue sheets. there was a tall shelf against the off white walls that was filled with a few alien and ufo figurines, trophies, and framed pictures of him and his team.
you turned to him to ask about what he wanted to do until you felt him loom over you. he looked at you like you were his prey and he was the predator, which was not a far cry because you really did feel like a bunny and he was the big bad wolf. his dark eyes seared into your body as you felt your heartbeat quicken.
in one blink, he had you on your back on the soft bed with your wrists pinned together with one big hand as he nuzzled his nose on your neck and inhaled. “you smell so good, bunny. did you clean yourself up for me?” he hummed and shamelessly snaked out his tongue to lick a stripe on your neck which made you squeal at the hot and wet muscle against your skin. “taste good too,” he chuckled, the vibrations and heat of his breath making your spine tingle and arousal grow.
his timing was impeccable, he pinned you down before you even had the chance to notice the phone propped on the table beside his bed, with a fancy desktop where a few books laid askew, and his friends staring intently from the small screen. mattsun opened his mouth and before he could break the tension, makki slapped his hand over it and quietly shushed him. iwaizumi was too transfixed at the situation before him to reprimand mattsun for almost interrupting.
“t-tooru! get off—” you weren’t able to finish your sentence before oikawa bit the skin of your neck to quiet you down. “you should be honest with yourself, you know? i know how you look at me,” he teased you, slowly kissing down your body through your shirt. 
“not so feisty now, hm? you’re so putty in my hands,” he rose to his knees on the bed and let go of your wrists. you raised your arm to slap him on the face but he caught it, he also grabbed your other arm and slightly squeezed them as a sign of warning. “there she is, my feisty little girl,” he smirked down at you. his brown hair glistening in the low light of his bedroom as his dark eyes glinted at you.
he transferred your other wrist to his one hand as he slowly untied the strings on his sweatpants. you didn’t miss the growing bulge in pants, cock hardening at what was about to happen. you swallowed the lump in your throat because after so many nights of fantasizing and imagining, you’re going to finally see what he would look like under all those clothes.
“you want my cock? of course you do, your eyes are practically dripping with greed,” he mocked you, his hand slowly lowering his pants until his naked cock sprang free and bounced on his abdomen. fuck, he wasn’t wearing any underwear. your pussy gushed at the thought of him lounging around his apartment with only a thin fabric separating his cock from exposure.
“got nothing to say, hm? i was hoping you’d run your mouth just so i could have the excuse of shutting you up with my cock,” he taunted, eyes studying your face as a smirk stretched his lips. “did seeing my cock shut you up? i do have a pretty cock, don’t i?” he questioned you rhetorically.
you hated it because he was right. his cock was as pretty as him and it was enough to swallow on the words rising from your throat. it wasn’t overly girthy but you knew that it would still cause damage just by watching it pulse and throb, with pre-cum leaking from its tip.
“i’m going to let go of your hands now, slutty bunny, and you’re going to suck my cock until i fill your throat and mouth with my hot cum,” he told you in a matter of fact tone, and you really wished your weak self would protest and shove him away and bolt from his apartment to disappear from the face of the earth, but you couldn’t deny this opportunity, couldn’t deny yourself anymore, and oikawa knew that. he’s playing you like a fiddle and you’re absolutely falling for it.
he let go of your hands and you immediately gripped his cock, the other one holding on to his muscled thigh for balance. you licked one long line on the underside of his shaft before going back to suck the pre-cum on his tip. he tightly closed his eyes as he groaned, putting one hand on the back of your head and felt his thigh tense at the stimulation brought by your tongue.
your lips curled into a smug smile at oikawa’s reaction. he noticed it and glared down at you, he was about to say something before you widened your mouth to fit his entire cock in one go. you slightly gagged when he hit the back of your throat. oikawa threw his head back as he let out a long and loud moan, cock twitching in the heat and wetness of your mouth.
determined to make oikawa lose his shit, you started bobbing your head as you licked and sucked on his throbbing cock, maintaining eye contact with him. his lips were parted as he stared down at your moving head, eyes smoldering and grip tightening. you watched as his chest heaved up and down, his breathing becoming heavier.
oikawa lightly shook his head to get rid of the haze your mouth put him in and squeezed the roots of your hair. you moaned in pain while you narrowed your eyes at him. just when you were about to give him a lashing, he cut you off.
“my cock may be in your mouth but this is not your time to shine, bunny. you do have a good mouth on you, but i’m here to fuck that mouth until you learn your place,” he growled at you, the vein in his temple pulsing as he tried to regain control.
you didn’t even have time to think before he pulled out and slammed his cock back inside your mouth, balls hitting your chin. you cried around his cock as your eyes immediately watered at the sudden force of his thrust. you squeezed his thighs as a sign for him to settle before he fucked your mouth like a fleshlight.
unfortunately, he only gave you a few moments to get used to his size before his hands bundled your hair into a makeshift ponytail and used them as leverage to fuck his cock in and out of your mouth. he groaned as he watched the tears from your eyes fall around your full cheeks as you moaned like a whore with his cock in your mouth.
“i bet you touch yourself to the thought of me, huh?” he taunted you, not stopping from his thrusts. you whined pathetically and felt slick from your cunt wet your panties. “fuck, you do. just how much of a slutty hypocrite are you? all you do is lie to yourself-shit, that’s good–and pretend to hate me when you’re just like everyone else,” he growled, thrusting deep until he hit the back of your throat, clearly frustrated with your actions. you were slobbering all over his cock, saliva and pre-cum staining your face with how fast he was thrusting, while it dripped on the sheets below you.
his groans grew louder and his thrusts became sloppier as he neared his orgasm. you so badly wanted to touch yourself but with the way you were positioned, you’d end up choking on oikawa’s cock if you removed your hands from his thighs. instead, you tried your best to ignore the growing ache in your pussy.
“swallow all my cum, you slutty whore,” he ordered you, voice straining as he delivered one final thrust inside of your mouth before you felt the warm spurts of his cum paint the insides of your mouth and throat. you moaned at the heat, your mouth so full of his cock and cum that you tapped his thigh to give you room to breathe. thankfully, he pulled out his cock with a pop as you inhaled loudly, throat raw from the fucking it experienced.
even if he didn’t tell you, you would’ve swallowed his cum to try and make a statement. he gripped your chin as he inspected your mouth, eyes flashing in satisfaction when he saw your mouth empty. “that’s a good fucking girl,” he said, thumb going inside of your mouth as he pushed on your tongue. you closed your eyes as you breathed heavily, hands hanging limply on your thighs.
oikawa seized the opportunity to swiftly look at his phone, smirking at his friends when he noticed them shifting uncomfortably. iwaizumi flipped him off and oikawa just winked at him.
he turned back to you with your eyes still closed, stealthily blocking your view of his phone as he pulled his thumb from your mouth and licked it. his cock was still hard, owing to the pent-up tension that you have been giving him ever since day one.
he shoved you so your back landed on the bed as he straddled your waist, kicking off the rest of his sweatpants and chucking them to the floor. you opened your eyes as you yelped at the sudden movement, wondering what the fuck he was going to do now.
“what are you do–” you questioned him, but before you could finish, he ripped your shirt into two pieces. your eyes widened in protest as your sports bra-clad chest was exposed to him. “i’m going to fuck these pretty tits, whore,” he said as he squeezed your breasts together and groped them, making your nipples harden into peaks.
you moaned at his touch, finally feeling some stimulation on your body after aching for so long. he lowered his head down to your chest and started sucking on your nipple through the fabric. you threw your head back on his pillow and whined, his hard cock grinding on your thigh at the sounds you were making. he sucked and licked until your back arched to him, silently begging for more.
he raised his head from your chest which made you whimper at the loss of warmth. he looked wild, like he was a man on a mission.
his large hands reached for your bra and stretched the fabric until your tits were exposed to the cool air of his room. you moaned at the feeling of being exposed to oikawa, he stared at your hardened nipples, watching as his cock twitched against his abdomen. you watched his adam’s apple bob until you saw his mouth open. he spit on the valley between your breasts, string connecting from his lips. you moaned at the obscenity of his actions, spit feeling cold and thick as it ran down your chest.
he groaned at the sight, one hand guiding his cock under your bra and inserting himself between your tits. once he settled in between them, he squeezed them together to create that tightness. it wasn’t enough but he’s been wanting to fuck your tits, and it’s finally happening now. he thrusted and groaned at the softness of your breasts squeezing his cock.
his cockhead hit your chin, making it wet with your saliva mixed with his cum. your body rocked along with his thrusts, hearing him grunt and moan as he squeezed and fucked your tits. you wanted to touch yourself, but he was holding you down so you couldn’t reach your pussy. his thrusts became faster and your breasts became wetter as he neared his second orgasm of the night.
you watched him and you became even more annoyed because even in the throes of passion, he was still so pretty. pink lips parted as he breathed loudly, brown eyes darkening the more he looked at you, and that drop of sweat from his neck going down his defined chest.
“g-gonna cum bunny, fuck,” he grunted loudly, head thrown back as his cock spilled his cum and landed on your chin, neck, and chest. he stopped moving and stared at his work in amazement. you glared at him, because although he looked divine when he came, you still hadn’t experienced any type of relief for the night.
“tooru, i’m starting to think you can’t make a girl cum,” you raised your eyebrow in defiance, looking at him boredly, arms supporting you as you lifted your body in a sitting position. “all you did was pleasure yourself. do you even know how to pleasure a girl?” you taunted him, displeasure clearly written over your face. he watched your expression and smirked to himself.
the nerve of this guy.
“oh bunny, i can definitely pleasure you and make you cum. several times, in fact,” he said, eyes tracing his finger as he spread his cum all over your chest. “i just had the foresight to let myself cum twice because if i went straight to fucking you, you’d pass out before i even got my fill of you,” he purred, cock twitching again.
“and i want you to be aware of everything i’m going to do to your body,” he ended his statement with a pinch to your nipple. you yelped at the sting and swatted his hand away. he let out a low laugh before he grabbed your hips and abruptly flipped you over to your stomach.
“let’s remove these pesky shorts, shall we?” he said as he slapped your ass hard. you squealed at the pain, almost forgetting that he’s a volleyball captain and you’ve seen how lethal his serves can be. but you know that he’s not putting all of his strength in that slap. he laughed at your reaction and slapped the other cheek of your ass before pulling your shorts down and throwing it to the floor, eyes subtly flicking to the table.
“pretty ass wearing pretty panties,” he whispered, his index finger tracing the white lace of your panties. your face flushed in embarrassment because you know he’s thinking that you wore those for him. you did, but you’re never going to admit that.
never in a million years.
“your reaction tells me all i need to know, bunny. you definitely wore these for me,” he growled, his large hand coming down to your ass again as you cried at the pain. he watched the plumpness of your ass jiggle before he landed a few more consecutive slaps on the skin.
satisfied with the redness of your ass and the whimpering that came out of your mouth, he tore your panties into two flimsy pieces. he slowly removed them from your pussy, your wetness clinging on to them and forming a string. “can’t wait to fuck this dirty pussy, bunny,” he groaned as he watched it, cock pulsing at the tip.
he didn’t even bother removing your cum stained bra before he pulled your hips up until you were on your knees. he pushed his hand on your lower back, forming a deep arch until you bared your wet pussy to him. leaving one hand on your hip, he guided his throbbing cock to your clenching pussy and ran his tip along your folds. both of you moaned at the stimulation, sensitivity running down your bodies. you gulped at how he was going to make himself fit.
he stopped at your clenching hole before he pushed the tip in, squeezing your hip as he groaned, feeling the tightness around his head. you were about to thrust yourself on his cock because he was taking his sweet time before he shoved himself, making the both of you cry out as he bottomed out in your pussy. he gave an experimental roll of his hips which made your pussy flutter around his cock. he moaned at the sensation, bracing both of his hands on your hips.
he pulled back out and thrusted harder this time, drawing out a moan from you at the force and fisted the sheets in your hands. he began snapping his hips against your ass as you moaned louder.
“look at how my cock’s splitting you,” he grunted, eyes trained at how his cock was disappearing in your cunt. “swallowing my cock like it’s nobody’s business. your fingers aren’t enough. no, you need my cock,” he hissed as he punctuated each word with a hard thrust. he slapped your ass every time he thrusted back in, the double stimulation making you moan like a whore.
his obsession with your ass didn’t stop there. he stopped spanking your ass and centered on the puckered ring that was slightly clenching. he tilted his head to the side and stared at it in wonder. he gathered the saliva in his mouth as he spat on it. you squealed at the new sensation, body rubbing against the bed as he brought his thumb to play with the tight ring, an area you never dared to touch.
“t-tooru, that’s dirty!” you cried out in indignation, trying to squirm away from his finger, but you couldn’t because his cock was drilling your pussy to the bed.
“so? it’s perfect for a fucking dirty girl like you,” he growled, thinking twice if he should insert his thumb in your asshole, but he decided not to. he figured you weren’t ready for that, yet.
he removed his finger from your asshole as he gripped your hips to fuck you even harder, clearly frustrated that he wasn’t able to plunge his thumb in your ass. you moaned at the harshness of his thrusts as he pushed on the back of your neck to the bed. you whined at the pressure, switching your head to the side as you focused on oikawa’s brutal thrusts. that was when you noticed a phone on the table, seeing three red faces peering at you.
“oh my god, are they watching us?!” your eyes widened as you cried out. oikawa looked to the side and chuckled. “took you long enough. they were starting to feel lonely because you weren’t noticing them–fuck, that’s a good pussy,” he hissed as he felt your cunt tighten around his cock.
“why don’t you scream for them as well, hm?” he said as he delivered a particularly hard thrust that made you moan loudly while looking at his friends. iwa, makki, and mattsun groaned at your reaction, shifting their pants as they stayed in their respective places in the next room.
“t-tooru, please turn off your phone!” you cried, tears streaming down your face as you felt shame, embarrassment, and surprisingly, arousal creeping up your sweaty body. were you getting turned on by his friends watching your pussy get fucked?
“fuck, you’re so pretty when you cry,” he groaned as he spanked your ass once more, thrusting harder as he felt your cunt squeeze the shit out of his cock, clearly enjoying the fact that you were getting excited about being watched.
“and besides, i don’t think you really want me to. i think you like getting fucked stupid for my friends to see,” oikawa taunted you, his hands squeezing the fat of your hips. he moved your bodies so you were facing his phone head on, your fucked out face clear for them to watch. you lowered your head to save some of your dignity but he pulled your hair, neck straining as he showed your face to show them.
“tsk, don’t hide your face from them, bunny, let them see how good i’m fucking you,” he said as he looked at his phone, smirking at his friends who glared at him, clearly wanting to leave and bust the door down just to prove him wrong.
“after all, you are an attention whore. i’m just giving you what you want,” he whispered as he leaned down to bite the lobe of your ear. you whined at his strong thrusts, slick from your pussy sliding down your thighs.
“maybe you want them to come in here after i’m done with you and use you as a cum dumpster, do you want that?” he asks, hips thrusting hard as his balls hit your sopping cunt. you whined at his statement, hands gripping the sheets as your vision blurred from the pleasure.
“y-yes i want that! shit, t-tooru, feels so fucking good,” you whined, brain turning into mush as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. your legs were starting to tremble as your orgasm was fast approaching. oikawa knew you were going to cum so he pulled your hair harder and leaned down to whisper in your ear, his sweaty torso covering the expanse of your back.
“it’s okay, you can say it, tell me you love the way i’m fucking this filthy pussy. you’re the only one who doesn’t want to admit it,” he growled in your ear as he furiously played with your clit, making the knot in your stomach threaten to burst from his ministrations.
“i l-love the way you’re f-fucking me tooru! so fucking good, yes—!” you screamed as you came all around his cock, body shaking from the intense orgasm. oikawa groaned loudly as he filled you up with his cum, yours mixing with his. you moaned at the warmth in your pussy, breathing heavily as you tried to regain your senses. he came so much that it was sliding down your legs and staining his sheets.
you looked up at his phone and saw his friends staring at you with their jaws dropped. you would laugh at how comical they looked if you hadn’t just experienced the best fucking of your life, though you’ll never say that to oikawa. ever. you sighed instead, feeling icky with all the cum on and in your body.
you were about to lay on your back until oikawa carried you off the bed and slammed you against the wall, his hand cushioning your head from the hard cement. you yelped as your head spinned from the sudden movement.
“oh? you thought we were done? i promised to make you cum several times, didn’t i?” he smirked at you. you were amazed at his strength, his biceps flexing as he wrapped your still shaking legs around his waist. he didn’t even give you time to breathe before he plunged his hard cock inside your leaking pussy. fuck, this man’s stamina is endless.
you moaned wantonly as he pistoned his hips in and out of your cunt, hands squeezing the back of your thighs. your sweaty back was sliding against the wall as your body moved up and down, hands holding his shoulders for support. you noticed that you were still wearing your bra and it made you uncomfortable at the restriction it was causing to your tits.  
“we want to see her tits, oikawa!” mattsun exclaimed. he was practically bouncing in his seat in excitement. iwaizumi didn’t stop him because he wanted to see your breasts too.
oikawa  smirked, “you heard what he said, wanna show these tits to them?” you nodded frantically, embarrassment nowhere to be found as you removed your hands from his shoulders, finally removing the stained fabric from your chest. oikawa squeezed them with one big hand as soon as they were exposed causing all of them to collectively groan at the sight while oikawa continued fucking you.
“you walk around hating me only for you to end up getting fucked by my cock?” he growled at you as he ended his sentence with a hard thrust. “how pathetic and cock-hungry you must be. such a fucking whore.” you whined at his words, not being able to say anything because it was true. you were a cock-hungry whore for him, and you loved how he was fucking you with pent-up anger and frustration.
he squeezed your hips tighter, all the accumulated fluids in between you making lewd squelching sounds as you neared your orgasm once again. “to–tooru, fuck!” you screamed, cunt clenching as his cock hit your sweet and sensitive spot, walls fluttering around him.
“cum for me, whore,” he growled as he lowered his head to bite your neck. you came with a scream as you left red lines on his shoulders. his thrusts slowed down as he set your shaking legs down to the floor. he was still inside of you as he leaned his forehead down to yours, eyes closed as a drop of sweat fell from his hairline. his defined chest heaved as he fought to catch his breaths.
he carried you back to the bed with his cock still inside you. you thought he was going to pull out until he grabbed your limp legs and put them on his shoulders. you moaned at the new position, weakly trying to push him away because you were so tired. “n-no more tooru, t-too sensitive!” you weakly protested, hands trying to push yourself away from him.
“i think your dirty cunt can give me one more orgasm, hm? can you be a good whore and do that for me?” he cooed at you, thumbs slightly rubbing your ankles. you softly nodded at him, enamored by his sparkling brown eyes, or were you just drunk on his cum and musky scent? either way, his cock was too good to deny, even if your pussy was already close to being numb.
he smiled devilishly at you, he hugged your legs closer to his body as he started thrusting once more. you were practically incoherent, mouth sputtering unintelligible words and high pitched whines as oikawa rode your pussy. he let one leg fall off his shoulder as he gripped the headboard, mattress squeaking from his deep thrusts.
you watched as a drop of sweat fell from his neck and travelled down his chest and abdomen to mix with your joined bodies. you were so wet and slick down there that every thrust oikawa made only served to make your pussy throb and pulse around him more. you were moaning with reckless abandon, uncaring of the people that were watching your bruised cunt getting relentlessly fucked, only caring to climax one final time just so tooru would let you go and pass out on his bed.
oikawa was thrusting so hard and fast that the headboard was banging against the wall, with your breasts bouncing up and down along with it. you could tell that he too was at his limit, judging by how his thrusts became sloppier and erratic and his moans increasing in volume and pitch.
“t-tooru, g-gonna cum, please,” you said, he groaned as he brought down his arm from the headboard and played with your clit, pinching it with his fingers, making you scream and arch your back as you squirted all around him. he came with a loud moan as he saw the clear liquid shoot out from your pussy, drenching his abdomen. “fuck, did you just squirt?” he breathed in amazement, eyes widened and mouth dropped.
he set your leg down and pulled out as he watched your mixed fluids trickle out of your cunt. you were too fucked out to care as he played with your pussy, your mouth open and eyes drooping as you breathed loudly and heavily. he was pushing the mixed cum back inside your filthy cunt when you heard the door swing open to reveal your three voyeurs, all with tented cocks stretching the front of their pants.
“shit, oikawa. you actually fucked her dumb,” mattsun said in fascination, watching your chest heave up and down. makki hummed in agreement while iwaizumi just stared at your dripping cunt, watching your cum and tooru’s trickling out of your pussy and sliding down your ass, staining the sheets. you shivered at their stares and brought your hand to spread your folds, making them see your filthy pussy better. you smirked lazily as you heard the men in the room groan in unison while you swirled your finger, playing with the cum in your cunt.
“you got room for three more cocks, baby?” mattsun taunted you, three of them entering the room and standing at the foot of the bed. your smirk dropped as you watched iwaizumi take his shirt off, leaning your head back on the pillow as you moaned tiredly, your battered pussy quivering at the thought of more cocks making a mess of your cunt.
needless to say, you and oikawa didn’t get any work done on the project that night.
[9:21 PM]
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