#I wish I had the luxury of being able to go no contact

[kittycak3s]

I hate that I'm being made responsible for coping with and "forgiving" abusive behavior just to protect myself.

I'm tired of being fucking "understanding". I'm tired of my survival being dependent on how much I'm able to take. I'm tired of being treated like dog shit for no reason.

[evieskiesss]

NOBODY WILL SEE US- TOM KAULITZ

WARNINGS: AGE GAP (30 & 20) ,smut, , dom!tom, sub!reader, public sex, squirting, overstimulation, degradation, name calling (daddy USED TWICE, slut, baby, etc), getting caught, reader says to stop but rlly just wants more

a/n: HEEYYYY. i hope yall haven’t forgotten abt me but yasss im back & im finna get back on my grind fr 😫🔥🔥🔥. HERES A LITTLE SOMETHINGG. IM A LITTLE RUSTY SO BEAR WITH ME BUT IMA TRY TO WRITE MORE. LIKE FRFR. ANYWAYS LOVE YALLLL.

-

The bright sun shone down on you, kissing your skin as you walked down the sandy beach, your hair flowing as the warm wind blew against you. Your eyes darted around the empty beach, awfully impressed with how much more beautiful it seemed in person compared to the photos you’d seen online.

LA VITA APERTA, was the name of the beach. It wasn’t just any beach, but the most popular nude beach in Italy. You’d been whining for weeks on end to Tom, wishing just how much you’d love to go, at least once. With the way your soft lips pouted, and the mere tone of your sad voice, it was enough to make Tom rent the beach for you two, alone.

You squealed, giggling excitedly as you ran toward the single luxurious villa in the complete center. Your feet softly padded against the hot sand, your legs moving quickly as you grew closer to it. Inside sat two reclinable beach chairs, made out of a polished bamboo. A large glass table sat in the center with platters of all sorts of cheeses, meats, crackers & fruits. A small rack of expensive wines cooled in the mini fridge in the corner, it was perfect.

A pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around your waist, “do you like it?” the voice spoke softly into your ear, you could practically hear the smile in his voice. You turned around, a large grin plastered on your face. Hopping up, your legs wrapped themselves around his waist, “iloveit,iloveit,iloveit,iloveit!” you shouted. Tom smiled, his arms hoisting you up, “anything for my girl.”

You both settled your things down, quickly taking advantage of the cold wine bottles, pouring them into glasses. Your lips wrapped around the rim, letting the dark liquid leap into your mouth. The smile wouldn’t leave your face as you sat on the sand, directly facing the ocean. The sound of the cold waves smoothly clashing against each other filled your ears, the salty smell mixing with that of the chemical-ly sunblock that Tom squirted into his hands.

He rubbed his hands together before moving your hand to the side, the cold cream coming in contact with your back. You pouted softly, looking over your shoulder to him, “i don’t like sunscreen..” you complained softly, the smell being too strong for your liking, & the sensation of oily cream making you feel uncomfortable as it would inevitably mix with your sweat. Tom ignored your protest, “you need it, baby,” he replied calmly, massaging it into your skin, being sure that your skin fully absorbs it.

“you’re too young to have wrinkly skin,” he kissed the back of your neck softly. You huffed, “fine..”. His hands ran down your back, his rings tickling you lightly as he ran them over. Slowly, his finger tips toyed with the strings of your bikini top, “we’re at a nude beach, remember?” his voice low, his breath hitting your ear. Your head slowly turned toward him, only being able to see him through peripheral vision. You were silent for a moment, your timidness suddenly taking over, you had never really.. gone nude in public before. “it’s just us, baby..” he reassured softly.

Taking your lip between your teeth, you nodded. As he pressed a gentle kiss to your shoulder, he pulled the strings fully. The bikini top became loose, his hands dragging them down your shoulders, then setting them to the side. Your nipples hardened, the cool wind mixing with his warm breath on your neck sent small shivers down your spine. Arms creeped around, his larger hands cupping your breasts, squeezing them softly. You smiled, giggling softly at the action.

-

Your breathing had slowed down, sunglasses providing extra protection to your closed eyes, your lips still curled up happily as you relaxed your body against the hot sand. You felt shuffling beside you, a soft content sigh leaving Tom’s lips as he leaned against his elbow, head propped up on his hand as his gaze laid on you. You looked beautiful, just absolutely perfect.

Your skin was now a shade or two darker, the bronze covering your entire body. Your small bikini top hugged your hips, undeniably leaving a tan line around it. You looked glowy, the sun rays blessing you with an extra kiss of beauty. His eyes ran lower, your breasts perky & attentive to the winds that blew by. Impulsively, his hands reached forward, tenderly kneading the flesh. His fingers closed around your buds, delicately pinching your nipples. He caught a groan in his throat, the feel of your skin only driving him crazy.

His lips came to your neck, planting weak kisses along the line. “tom..” you whined softly, hand coming to his chest. “mm?” he hummed, pinching your nipples again. You gasped gently at the sensation, feeling his lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his tongue licking and nipping on your skin. The hand that groped your breast snuck down agonizingly slow, simply teasing you as his fingers cupped over your sex. Two fingers pressed against your clit, a broken moan leaving your lips.

He hummed against the dark hickey that formed, “so wet f’me already?”. A shaky breath came from you as he departed from your neck, his gaze now looking down at your skimpy bikini bottom, your legs unconsciously opening for him as his fingers teased the wet spot on the cotton. Your lip came between your teeth, tugging on it gently as you looked around, “b-baby.. not here..”, you mumbled. “nobody will see us, baby,” he whispered.

Your silence was loud, causing him to smirk further, leading him to slide down what was left of the bikini down your tan legs. Tossing them to the side, you were left bare. “now this, is a nude beach,” he joked, parting your legs even further. An expression of amusement came over his face, your wet cunt glistened in the sun as he parted your folds with his finger. His middle finger gently dipped down, collecting your wetness, smearing it up to your sensitive clit, biting his tongue as you jolted at the sensation. “t-tom..” you whined, “shut up,” tom replied, his tone stern.

He looked back at you again, your eyes full of neediness, masked by hesitance. Without warning, his finger prodded at your entrance, slipping into you. Groaning softly, your hand searched for stability, gripping onto the hot sand. He cooed softly, watching his finger slowly pump in & out of you. The sound of your wet cunt mixed with those of the waves, your tiny moans seeping in here & there. “look at how slutty you look,” he tsk’ed, shaking his head menacingly. You whined again, biting your lip as his finger curled up, “just begging to be fucked..” he continued.

His cock began to ache, your whimpers & sight of you now riling him up. He bit his own lip looking down at his erection, begging to be freed from its restraints. A certain whimper of yours was enough. He pulled his finger out, your eyes snapping open in confusion before he manhandled you. You yelped lightly as he pulled you up, mumbling a small “c’mon,” moving you to the side as he laid where just were. His hands pulled at your hips, making you straddle him. He reached down, pulling his cock out of his trunks, red & leaking from the tip.

His hand wrapped around his shaft, pumping himself a couple of times, mouth parting open in pleasure, “you’re gonna ride me, ‘kay, princess?” his voice hoarse. You nodded, complying with his orders as you lifted yourself just enough. He gripped your hip with one hand, the other now holding his cock, rubbing the tip between your folds, aiming for your clit. “f-fuck,” you whimpered, your hand leaning on his chest for support. Once aligned, he began pulling you down on him, your cunt stretching out as he entered. You gasped softly, him letting out a moan at the same time. You sunk down further, feeling the burn of his cock penetrating you deeper until you were completely sat on his cock.

The fear flashed back into your mind, snapping you out of your dazed state for a moment. You turned your head, frantically searching for anyone who might be near, afraid of catching you two in the act. His fingers grabbed your chin, forcefully making you look back at him, “forget about that. just ride my cock,” he gruffed, squeezing your hips in a demanding manner. You lifted your hips as much as you could before slamming back down. Immediately, his hands gripped your ass, helping you with the rhythm.

You cried out in pleasure as you bounced on his cock, his tip kissing your cervix as you rode him faster. “fuck, baby. just like that,” he gasped, throwing his head back. You whined in response, slamming your hips harder. The way his cock deliciously stretched you out, being able to feel every vein drove you mad. Within the first few minutes, your legs began to burn, the muscles not needing much before giving out. A small whimper emitted from you as you tried to continue, your bounces faltering. His hand collided with your ass, “c’mon, princess. don’t stop,” he encouraged.

Your nails dug into his chest, your head lolling down as you mustered up the little bit of strength remaining in you to continue bouncing. God, it hurt like hell, yet it felt so fucking good. Small tears pricked your eyes as your legs gave out, no longer being able to do it on your own any further. Your front nearly collapsed on him, your hands preventing you from doing so as your lower half could no longer hold you up, “help me, i-i can’t..”. Without saying anything, Tom took it upon himself. His fingers dug themselves deep into your hips before thrusting up into you wildly.

The sounds of skin slapping over boarded those of the seagulls & waves, your broken moans fueling him to go faster. “take my fuckin’ cock, baby. just like that,” he panted. His cock drove into you deeper, hitting that gummy spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. “f-f-fuck..!” you groaned, thighs shaking as you felt your orgasm approaching. Tom whimpered deeply, his eyes barely being able to keep themselves open, yet the erotic sight of his cock disappearing into your cunt gave him strength. His gaze was nothing but lustful, dirty, & everything perverted. “beautiful fuckin’ girl. shit- you gonna cum on my cock, baby?” he teased through the grunts.

You nodded feverishly, his thick cock pounding into you at an inhuman pace, causing you to clench around him. “let go, baby. show daddy how messy you get,” tom mumbled, pushing the hair out of your face. With that, you cried out, legs shaking as your walls closed in on him, a stream of liquid quickly running down & onto his abdomen. His eyes widened, & his cock hardened. “f-fuck! that’s- that’s it!” you grunted, your orgasm washing over, hands now pushing at his chest as you felt you couldn’t take much more.

Tom grunted, slamming you all the way down on him, holding you in place as his hot cum spurted out into you, coating your walls. You whimpered quietly, the feeling triggering something inside of you. Tom remained still for a moment, eyes closed as he recollected himself. You looked down at him, breathless before he caught you by surprise. He lifted you up off of him before pushing you back down, pushing your thighs to your chest, exposing your cunt to him fully. “n-no, tom! i can’t anymore,” you mewled, pushing at his arms that now aligned himself to your entrance.

You could barely keep yourself conscious right now after that orgasm, yet he still had it in him for one more round. The sound of you squirting on him snapped something inside of him, leaving his cock rock hard for more. “just one more, baby. show daddy one more time how messy you get,” he groaned, pushing himself back into your pussy. He snapped his hips in, pulling out, just to ram back in. His pace was brutal, his tip ramming into a different spot of yours.

Your hands flew his biceps, “t-tom! fuck!”. His eyes were locked on your pussy, your hole sore & raw as he fucked you mercilessly, the sloppy sounds of his cock pounding into you becoming louder. “my pretty fuckin’ slut,” he murmured huskily, mouth leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck & teeth nipping. His dirty words went straight to your core, sending shocks down your spine. “this is what you wanted, huh? getting fucked on this beach like the slut you are?”.

“yesyesyes!” you sobbed, squeezing your eyes shut as the pleasure became unbearable. He angled his hips, thrusting into you with desire & passion. He groaned hoarsely, feeling a knot in his abdomen. You gasped loudly, walls clenching down on his cock, dead giveaway of your orgasm. Swiftly, he pulled out, only to rapidly abuse your clit with his tip. Your hands slammed into the sand, a deep scream escaping your lips as your body shook heavily, squirting hard all over his cock, coating his abdomen. Tom cried out, slamming his cock right back into your hole, his own eyes rolling back as his orgasm hit him like a truck, cum spewing into you.

He collapsed on top of you, both of you moaning simultaneously as you rode out your highs. Tom thrusted in weakly, your hips rolling up into him as you milked it out for as long as possible. Gently, he pulled out, making you wince lightly at the sensation. He looked down at your sex, his cum seeping out of your hole & onto the soaked towel beneath you. He looked back up at you, laughing lightly at your state. Your eyes were barely open, your body covered in sweat & sand, completely breathless. His hand came to soothe your abdomen, “i didn’t know you could do that,” he panted with a smile. Your eyes peeled open, “i didn’t either,” you laughed.

He smiled, kissing your knees before helping you up. “let’s freshen up in the water.”

-

You yawned, rubbing your eyes as you left the bathroom. You smiled seeing Tom, sound asleep in bed. You turned the lights on into your kitchen, brewing yourself some coffee before opening up your laptop. “what the fuck?” you mumbled tiredly, at the thousands of emails in your inbox. You opened up at the most recent one by your manager.

subject: EXPLAIN. CALL ME NOW.

link: https.//www.tmz/tomandy/nonbeach/caught.com

Your eyes widened, clicking on the link.

TMZ: PAPARAZZI CATCHES TOM KAULITZ AND GIRLFRIEND, Y/N L/N HAVING FIERY SESSION ON BEACH DURING PRIVATE GETAWAY

Your heart dropped as you scrolled further. There you were. There the fuck you were, photographed as you laid on your back, a blurred circle covering Tom’s hand in between your spread legs, his face buried into your neck. The next was worse, it was you on top of Tom, your head thrown back as his mouth was parted open, your butt blurred as it caught you mid bounce.

The following images weren’t better, catching you completely off guard. Both of you photographed, covered in sweat as Tom spoke into your ear, your legs in the air as he was mid-stroke.

A blood curling scream left your lips, “TOM!”.

[jhugas]

‘I WANT YOU…’- Jeon Jungkook

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Genre: smut

Pairing: Idol! Boyfriend! Jungkook X NonIdol! Reader

Summary: You and Jungkook are going to ‘Jack in the box’ release party. But you two being the freaks that you are, you won’t be able to go to the party without having sex.

Word count: ~1,7k

Warnings/tags: established relationship, big breast play, hickeys, clothed grinding, they cum together, they cum twice, car sex, sex while driving (stay safe…), penetration, unprotected sex (stay safe again), quick masturbation (m receiving), marking, cum in boxers/ panties, cums in her, ass smacking (twice), some eye contact, French kiss, slight cock warming?

Have fun twins🤞🏻

[repost]

✿✼:*ﾟ:༅｡.｡༅:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

Since you and Jungkook got invited to « Jack in the box » release party, you had to dress well. Bts knew you were Jungkook’s girlfriend, some other idols too. But to fit in, you had to dress like one. Dress in luxury clothes, have confidence, and be social.

You weren’t planning on staying in the corner of the room the whole time, but you weren’t confident enough to go up to people. So you had to impress them to make them approach you.

You sigh at the thought of being in public and look back at the mirror. Your makeup was done, and your outfit too. Everything was coordinated, the colours, tissues… and you were also matching with your famous boyfriend, Jungkook. He was looking at you up and down, eyes caressing your curves as he’s waiting for you, sitting down on the bed. When you’re finally ready, you turn around to show him your outfit and smile.

‘You look gorgeous baby, I’m lucky’

He says smirking. You giggle and get closer to him, positioning yourself in between his legs, his mouth at the same level as your breast.

‘Are you sure? I’m not really feeling this top…’

You confess while looking down at him, searching for an eye contact but it seems like he’s busy looking at something else. You follow his look and notice he’s been staring at your breast. He licks his bottom lip before biting them, and looks up at you once again. At his behaviour, you frown your eyebrows, wondering what he’s thinking about but his firm grip cuts your thoughts. He places his strong, tattooed hand behind your waist and pulls you closer to him as he sits on the edge of the mattress.

He can smell your nice scent, and your titties are sitting so perfectly in front of him that he almost cannot hold back. He wishes to lick your hardened nipples, suck on them, twist them with his fingers and gently pull on them. But right now, he doesn’t allow himself to. It’s simple; if he started, he wouldn’t be able to hold back. And he doesn’t want to be late at his bro’s party.

But was it worth it though? Would it change a lot if you were a bit late? He keeps on debating on if he should do it or not, but you’re too irresistible. His body speaks louder than his thoughts, and before he knew it, he was already approaching his sweet, soft and pink lips to your nipples. Your eyes widen in surprise but you let him express himself.

Consequently, his lips finally touch your right nipple against the tissue. Softly brushing it as you feel his hot breath against your breast, passing through the material of your top.

‘Jungkook~ babe what are you doing~’

You giggle as he smirks at your comment. Your voice was so attractive to him, your giggles even more. Each time a sound left your lips, he got even more turned on and his cock hardened.

‘I want you…’

He whispers before he slides his hands underneath your top and takes it off for you. He already decided what he prefers. Indeed, he’d rather suck your titties, please you and himself on the way than to be on time at the party.

You’re now standing, your boobs naked in front of him, in between his strong legs that are keeping you in place.

His breath is now even stronger. His lips slightly brushing against your hardened right nipple again. Just teasing you. Then he brings one of his hands to your left boob, and the other one to caress your back. And finally starts lightly biting it, then gives it a few licks. His wet tongue caressing in rounds your nipple, before shoving it all in his mouth and sucking on it. He sucks hard, touching it with his tongue inside as he twists your left nipple with his slim fingers. He pulls back and gives you a few pecks on your breast while he gets to the next one.

Once he’s in front of your left boob, he does the same. Bites it, leaving few marks on it then licking it. His tongue making circles around it, flicking it sometimes. Then finally puts in his mouth. He loves the feeling of your hard nipple in his mouth. Sucking on it like his life depended on it. While his other hand, uses his fingers to pull on your right nipple, and massage your soft, perfect breast.

It’s driving him crazy. You moan at his skin meeting yours and he stands up, leaving your titties sitting, cupped in his hands. He’s now hovering over you. But not for too long since he gets lower, his lips brushing your neck before he lifts you up and puts your legs around his waist.

He starts marking your neck, leaving purple marks and making sure everyone will see them. He needs to let them know that you’re his, as much as he’s yours. His lips get closer to your weak spot on your neck, and just as he starts sucking on your weak spot, making your legs weak and throw your head back, he sits back down on the bed and rubs your pussy against his dick through your pants. You both find yourselves grinding on each other, going faster as time passes and your orgasm gets closer. You feel his cock getting harder and harder against you and begging to get the fabric of his pants and boxers off. He grabs your ass firmly and gives it a smack before going harder against you.

He’s too good and you feel your orgasm approaching fast. Your moans get shorter and in a higher voice until you scream Jungkook’s name, as you cum in your little panties. Your boyfriend also cums in his boxers at the same time as you, and forces you to look at him as your juice gets out of your cunt. After reaching your highest, you try to calm down and catch your breath. Jungkook’s head falls on your shoulder as he takes your top that was on the bed, and brings it closer to you. You look lazily at him, enjoying this feeling like you’re high, and he puts back on your top.

After this you both changed quickly, throwing glances at each other to observe your naked bodies. Then finally go to the car and drive to the party. You thought that what happened was enough, but it clearly wasn’t. You needed more, and especially his cock deep in your pussy or in your throat. Your breath gets faster as you think about it and look over to Jungkook. He’s still driving, concentrated in the road but he feels the tension. And he knows you want more.

He stops at the red light and you look at him intensely to make him notice you.

‘You know we can’t right now honey. Let’s at least wait to get to the parking lot or to get in the bathroom of the party.’

He says in a deeper voice. You look down and notice his dick rubbing against his pants, creating a bulge and a visible boner.

You bring your hands to his pants and unbuttons them. He bites his lips trying to stay concentrated while his mind goes numb at your touch. You look up at him with big eyes and slowly gets his big, thick and veiny cock out of his boxers. He slightly moans then starts accelerating the car again once the light is green, and pray that there isn’t any cameras or fans around. Well fortunately, you had tinted windows anyways.

You wrap your pretty, soft hands around his thick cock and spread his pre cum on his length. He has no idea what you’re going to do, but even if he’s a bit confused and scared at the idea of having sex while he’s driving, he’s having pleasure. After all, adrenaline only makes sex better.

You pump his dick up and down with one hand and take off your pants with the other. You take off your seatbelt and he stops at a red light again. You slide your panties to the right, then get on top of him. He cannot see the road well and starts panicking but as soon as he feels your warm pussy taking all of his dick, his worries go away.

He moans deeply at his dick finally being wrapped around your walls, and tries his best to keep his eyes open. The light goes green and he accelerates the car. The rules are simple, the more he accelerated, the faster you jumped. He gets closer to the party place and accelerates while trying to keep his composure.

You don’t hold back your moans, you’re loud and you don’t care about being heard. And hearing you being so loud just brings Jungkook, your poor boyfriend close to cumming.

You jump faster as you also feel your orgasm coming, and he takes off one of his hands off of the wheel to grab your ass. He smacks it again. Tries his best to stay concentrated on the road and to keep his eyes open.

Till, faster than he thought, he filled you with his cum. Painting in your walls as you also reach your highest. You scream and keep jumping on his cock as he moves, frustrated from his position, and moans in your ear.

You keep his dick in you, holding in his cum and kiss his lips. He’s almost unable to kiss back. He lets you kiss him, slide your tongue in and moan too. His eyes are half closed, he feels dizzy but he finally recognizes the parking you’re supposed to park in. You keep making out with him till he parks. And when the car stops, he kisses you back like he never did. It’s a passionate, slow, lazy and heated kiss. Your tongues meeting as you eat each other.

After some minutes, you pull back.

Now, there’s you; messy hair, just like your makeup, and your hickeys are more than visible.

And then there’s Jungkook; looks hella high, and hair also messy.

But it’s alright. Wasn’t it his point to show them who you belong to anyways?

Thanks you for reading! Likes are very appreciated, but reposts and comments truly help the creators to get more exposure. Thank you!

Masterlist

[risuola]

VI — YOU HAVE MY HEART — F. READER x TOBIRAMA SENJU

It's so easy to love you and it's even easier to admire how hardworking you are. You trained and became strong, you assisted in creating the ANBU leading the first unit. You were the pride and joy in Tobirama's life, but with all of that came also the fear. The terror of losing you.

cw: not much, it's mostly fluffy. it gets a little steamy towards the end, so reader discretion is advised — 2,5k words

note: when I was translating this chapter, I realized that the timeline can be a little blurry, though I tried to make it as clear as possible, but I'll summarize this here quickly: one year has passed since the wedding until the events from chapter V, then one year she was training and working in ANBU and then the mission took another year. so it's three years since they married ❥

SERIES MASTERLIST

Sometimes, you felt like you and Tobirama were meant to be. Like this whole arranged, political agreement was planned somewhere by someone who has way more power than you’d think, because even after nearly three years with that man, you still find it difficult to understand how on earth you worked so well when it’s more than clear that you shouldn’t.

There were just too many differences between you and your husband. He’s cold and stoic whilst you are warm and bubbly. Your calmness doesn’t make a fraction of how calm he is, or rather, used to be. You loved to touch him and for his entire life, Senju faltered from physical contact. And yet, all of it changed, when you stepped into his life. A princess from the foreign village, a diamond that was kept in the cage made of gold and luxury, a bird that was yearning for freedom and safety. Tobirama gave you both of these things.

The feelings between you two only solidified after the incident in your homeland. It’s almost two years after the unfortunate chain of events that led the young Senju to leave the negotiations in Konoha to save you from abusive ritual that took place in Yu; a pathetic display of parenting that your father thought was a favor to your husband. After that, and the little time you needed to heal completely with a help of one of the best medics in the leaf village, you had made a decision to go back to training. Ever since you moved, you spent your time learning topography of your new home, befriending people, helping – none of which you put into your own development and it’s only after you were defeated so easily, it got to you that everything that you thought you knew was not even a fraction what you should be able to execute.

That’s why for the months after that, you trained – mostly by yourself, but Tobirama was more than happy to help you anytime he had some spare hours. He found you admirable, the way you wanted to become the best shinobi possible even though there was no need for that. You were excellent even before, the idea of you lacking never crossed his mind and yet you stood up for the challenge and it was in his best interest to help you achieve the goal. You were, after all, his beloved wife, his sunshine, his pride. Quickly, it turned out that on top of all these things, you were quite deadly.

You began taking missions, standing on top of a group consisting of the best ninja from Konoha – ANBU, as Tobirama called it. A set of exceptional individuals, the most skilled ones available. It was a project that Senju wished to finalize, it was meant to provide the village with safety, with the strong asset able to infiltrate, fight and protect and you… You became the leader of it, representing the highest skill of them all and supporting him in establishing the unit.

Tobirama found you incredible, time after time finding himself in awe because of your achievements. There was no such term as impossibility, it seemed, everything he assigned you with, you finished with success, caring about your team well-being and the quality of the process. As much as he felt the endless amount of pride, his heart was also filled with fear. The idea of losing you haunted his dreams anytime you were outside Konoha, dealing with something he himself ordered you. The contradicting feelings weighed heavy on his shoulders – he wished to keep you safe and yet, it was only fair to give you tasks that were relevant to what you were able to do. It would be against his nature to spare you the difficulties, to limit your progress only because of the selfish want of keeping you far from harm. That led him to assigning you with one of the most difficult missions he had to offer.

“I’m gonna be honest with you,” he had told you the day before. You remember him joining you in bed late at night and the way he wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you flush to his chest was enough of a hint. You knew him well. “I don’t want you to take that mission,” honest as always, and nervous when he spoke quietly. His roughed-up fingertips were circling little ovals against the delicate skin over your spine, his hand buried underneath the shirt that you used to sleep in.

“I know,” you replied, pressing your lips to his bare chest. Oh, how well you knew him. The moment he gave you the details of the job earlier that day in his office, you already knew how hesitant he was and once you read the description, you understood why. “But it’s gonna be fine, I promise.”

“How can you promise me something like that?” He found his way to your chin, lifting your head up just enough to look you in the eyes. “I know you are strong, you are the most skilled ninja I have, don’t think I’m underestimating you, love. But yet, I can’t help but fear, the idea of you not coming back from that job, from something I send you by my own order… it feels unbearable to think.”

Tobirama wasn’t a man that’s easily scared. In your entire time with him, spending so much time as his wife, you saw him worried at most, only few times so it shook you deeply, seeing his sincere eyes glaring at you in nothing but concern. The soft red shade of them looked straight through your soul, you could feel the way his jaw was tensed when you placed your hand on the side of his handsome face.

“I will come back to you, my lord. I know how dangerous the mission is and I would be lying if I told you that I’m not scared of it. But I also know how important it is, how crucial the data I need to gather is to keep Konoha safe and it is my duty to serve the village. It’s my home, I swore to keep it protected.” Your words were honest, Senju knew that. It was difficult, the hidden leaf stood on the verge of war, it was nearly palpable in the air and the information that you were meant to collect had a power to stop it before the blood of innocents was spilled.

The love you developed to Konoha was something Tobirama couldn’t help but admire in you. Despite it being a foreign land to you, you grew to care of it as if you lived here since the beginning. Truth is, you did feel like you were born in it. What hidden leaf gave you was freedom, was love. It showered you in things that before that, you only silently dreamt about, it was a place that you truly began being yourself, hence why you wished to give it back all of yourself.

“I know you’re gonna do your best. It’s just… I wouldn’t mind standing to fight later if you’d say you don’t want to take the job. I wouldn’t mind giving my life in battle if it could save yours.”

“Your life is too precious to be lost, Tobirama,” you leaned into him just slightly, your lips a breath away from his. “You are needed, you are so incredibly fundamental for this village to function properly, you have no idea. Without you, there would be no Konoha, doesn’t matter how great of a hokage your brother is. You are what makes this place a home to so many people, you are the mind and heart of it, so please don’t say such things.”

“It’s you who have my heart. If I have to risk losing it along with you, how could I be one for the village?” Senju exhaled, closing his eyes for a brief moment before closing the distance and pressing his mouth to yours. A kiss of love that’s indescribable, it bore everything that he was too afraid to word out loud. “Just… come back to me.”

“I will always come back to you, my love.”

The reassurance you gave, although carrying uncertainty, you followed with yet another kiss. The intimacy you shared later that night carried an unspoken goodbye, it was intense and oh so full of passion as if it was the last time you were to be so close.

Early in the morning, you were already gone, heading towards the unknown land where you were meant to spend the next weeks, working undercover. In the morning, Tobirama watched you leave, hating himself for letting you go as the sweet taste of the last kiss you shared still lingered over his lips.

* * *

“Later,” Tobirama groaned, responding to the soft sound of knocking against the wooden doors to his office. He was busy, digging through copious amounts of documents and reports, annoyed to the very core of his existence. His mind was already far in the future, balls deep in the upcoming negotiations that were meant to take place in Konoha in just few days. They were important, the safety of the village depended on the results and Tobirama made it very, very clear that unless the matter is absolutely, death-threatening urgent, he’s unavailable to anyone.

But the knob twisted and despite his objections and rough tone the doors opened and he couldn’t help but scoff. His blood was boiling, his brows creasing and even the deep breath he took, trying to calm down his nerves didn’t help at all. The rage inside of him burned with hellfire, it got him out of his chair, smashing his fist on the desk.

“I said fucking late—” he stopped. The sight of you, standing there in the entrance to his office made his voice catch in his throat. Was he even breathing? He felt like the world faded away, time slowed down and the chaos inside his mind calmed in an instant when his eyes met yours. He couldn’t believe, were you really here? In the last report he’s got from you, the one from a month prior, you wrote that at least twelve weeks will be needed to finalize the job and yet here you were, standing just few meters in front of him. After a year.

“I heard you the first time, my lord,” you chuckled softly, watching how his expression changed from rageful annoyance to surprised confusion. It was a display of emotions you were yet to familiarize yourself with, giving Tobirama’s spare range of expressions. “I was told you’re busy and expecting no one to bother you, but I took the freedom to disobey.”

The Senju stood there, flabbergasted for a little longer before his head dropped. A wave of laughter that shook his body made all of his tension go away. You really were there, he could see you, feel your chakra. After long, twelve months of undercover mission he gave you, the one that required you to stay in Iwagakure, gathering intel of governmental nature you finally got back. You had not seen each other during that time and Tobirama had only received few letters from you, all of which being more like short reports about the mission status rather than lover’s notes. But now, you were here, safe, alive.

“You came back,” he said, his voice so much lighter than what he greeted you with. Tobirama took a second to look at his desk, assessing the piles of documents before he pushed everything to the side. Papers flew off and scrolls unraveled on the floor but he couldn't possibly care less about any of those, when you were here, finally after a year of absence, in a flesh and bones. Being so messy was unlikely of him, you had never met someone more organized than Tobirama, but to him, it was more important to now have you on this desk, rather than documents.

“I promised I’ll come back to you, didn’t I?” You smiled, pushing the doors closed behind you and approaching him, placing the box with all of the reports and information regarding your latest work on the floor, before you circled the furniture, meeting him finally.

“You did,” he replied, finding his way to press his lips to yours. His large hands pulled you closer by the back of your neck and you hooked your arms around his shoulders, burying your fingers in the silver strands of his hair, scratching his scalp gently and causing him to purr into the kiss. It tasted sweet, addicting, with the longing being carried through every movement of his lips and tongue. It was heavy with feelings, breathtaking, nearly suffocating with how much it bore, how many unspoken words, how many worries that were now releasing. Tobirama pulled you towards himself, your body now flush to his own as he made you lean against the edge of his desk. It took no time before you were situated on top of it, with his large frame between your legs and his hands wandering all over the lines of your figure.

Tobirama was hungry. He had no idea how much until he saw you, until he tasted you. You taught him how to love, you opened the world of intimacy and touch to him, you showed him the pleasure of marriage and once you took all of it away, he was lost. The need to have you close was unfulfilled for such a long time where he couldn’t even see you, it left him with the burn of craving inside his chest. He was incomplete without you, unable to focus as much as he would usually do, his mind was wandering to the places where your image was stored.

“I missed you so much, my love,” you whimpered, feeling his lips smearing the wet traces of kisses along your neck and down your throat. At that moment, he was not caring about the marks he was leaving, he wanted to make you his own again. Nothing else mattered, only you, the taste of your mouth, the sweet scent of your skin. He would love to be more romantic, to welcome you with something more appropriate – a nice dinner, some pretty flowers, but being romantic was never his strong suit and frankly, things like bouquets and food were last on his mind, when he had you near his body.

“Love,” he groaned against your pulse, his hands making contact with the bare skin on your sides where he pushed the fabric of your black blouse up. He missed you so damn much. His body longed for your touch, for your skin flush to his, for everything that came with you.

“I thought you were busy, my dearest,” you teased, your voice soft and playful as you run your hand down his stomach. It was risky to do so in his office but he did nothing to prevent you from reaching his manhood and as you did, you stroked him gently through the fabric of his pants. A breath hitched in his chest, your touch burned him with lust, he felt like a fire was consuming him just because you put your touch over him.

“I am,” he muttered, sucking a spot onto your neck, reminding your body to whom it belongs to and you gasped softly at the feeling of his lips against your delicate skin. “God, I’m so damn busy.”

» NEXT PART

TAGLIST: @garouaddict @bluebreadenthusiast @nelivv @drthymby @humongousdreamlandbear @darlingxoxo15 @gaozorous-rex-blog

[reyalvr]

Hi! I've had this idea simmering for a bit - could you possibly do an angsty enemies-to-lovers Aonung x fem Sully reader where they're veryyyy much enemies but during the demon ship battle, either one of reader's close friends/family members (could be neteyam or someone else) is dying and they ask aonung to not let reader look. She's freaking out and losing it and he's just trying to comfort her, hug her, calm her down, etc. Hope this isn't too specific - do with it what you wish :) tysm

ASHES ON FIRE.

୨⎯ in which peace is luxury that you cannot afford.  ⎯୧

genre┊ angst, slight e2l & comfort, one-shot

pairing┊ao’nung x fem-sully!reader (? help), a little (lot) bit of brother!neteyam & fem-sully!reader as well

wordcount┊2.9k

warnings┊major movie spoilers, death 

author’s note┊ finally doing this request! i’ve been wanting to write it for a while now but i was so focused on ITMOIA <//3 hope i did this justice, anon! i had to rewatch the demon ship scene a couple times so i could stay true to the story, so apologies if i messed up a bit on the prompt you gave me T^T.

song recs ┊ na'vi attack, the bug collector.

The sky people say that ignorance is strength. That if you were numb enough to your surroundings, nothing would be able to break you; that nothing would matter so long as you didn’t feel anything. 

They were wrong.

It had all happened so fast – all of you riding out the moment you realized that your siblings were in danger, the war party attacking the RDA the second Payakan had seized the demon ship. Against your father’s orders, you had jumped on your ikran as fast as you could, flying all the way to Three Brother’s Rocks. 

You had no plan, only focused on saving your family. You soared swiftly through the clouds, drawing your bow each time you came in contact with an enemy ship. You had lost count of how many times you had shot something into the sea – it didn’t matter to you anymore. 

Chaos had struck all around you; everywhere you turned, you saw war. The Great Balance wasn’t present here, this was a place of loss. You yelled as you narrowly missed the shots fired from a gunship, and you retaliated by shooting an arrow into its propellers.

You were running on pure adrenaline, your mind clouded with only one thought: save your siblings. It was a recurring voice in the back of your head, and it seemed to jolt you back into focus every time you felt your nerves start to calm down. You hissed as you flew near the water now, aiming for any of the boats that shot at the clan. 

For a split second you were able to catch a glimpse of yourself in the water. You were terrifying. Your eyes had gone completely wide, pupils so constricted to the point where they were almost gone. The sneer on your lips didn’t aid in making you look less terrorizing; you were absolutely feral.

You didn’t linger on your appearance for too long, though,  as you had come in contact with one of the avatars, their bullets slightly grazing your shoulder. You yelped as you banked hard in order to get away from them, your adrenaline the only thing stopping you from feeling any immediate pain. 

It stung, bad, as you drew your bow, aiming directly for their heart. You let go without a moment’s hesitation, watching as the demon slid off of his ikran and into the water. You yelled in fury, your mind still unable to process your recent actions. 

Your ears perked up at the sound of rapid gunfire to your side, your eyes growing even wider as you recognized the electric blue colors of your mother’s ikran. You turned sharply, almost hitting the side of the ship as you willed your banshee to get to your mother’s position. 

“Mom!” You yelled, bow drawn as you aimed for another one of the demons. 

Her head turned instantly at the sound of your voice, her face blanketed in fear and worry. She had no time to scold you for being on the battleground, her attention concentrated on ambushing the sky people. 

You watched as your arrow soared straight into the avatar’s chest, his limp body plunging into the water like bait. The pain in your shoulder had started to make itself known again, yet you pushed forward in battle. You weren’t gonna let a minor injury get in the way of your rescue mission. 

Though, your streak of undefeated shots had to be ended sooner or later. You hadn’t seen the boat from underneath you, and they landed a shot to your ikran’s leg. You heard her screech, and the both of you rapidly barreled into the ocean. 

“[Y/N]!” You heard your mother yell before you were surrounded by water. 

Your ikran, though injured, had been able to pull herself out of the water and fly to safety. You quickly followed, gasping for air as you swam to the surface. You didn’t waste any time in finding land, and you moved fast in order to get cover. 

You were vulnerable now to the enemy’s attacks, no longer having the advantage of being in the air or wielding a bow. You leaned against the rocks, looking out for gunships while simultaneously catching your breath. The weight of fatigue was starting to hit you now, and you feared that your body would soon succumb to the exertion you had put yourself through. 

The battle prayer to Eywa rang in your head, the words of the Great Mother slowly pushing you to move forward. Tirea oeyä maway livu, Ma Eywa. Calm my spirit, Eywa.

You groaned, your eyes closed as you forced yourself to stand. All hope was not lost, as in the distance you spotted the familiar dark blue of your sister’s skin. You called for an ilu and dove quickly, swimming as fast as you could to Kiri and the others. 

“Kiri!” You yelled as you neared them, your heart pounding in relief. 

She turned, her eyes recognizing you as soon as she saw you. “Sister!” 

Your reunion with her would not be now, however, as an ikran had plucked her up right in front of you before you��d even been able to wrap your arms around her. You yelled, your voice nearly going hoarse, and whatever tiredness your body felt was soon melted away by the bubbling rage within you. 

“No!” You screamed, and you moved to chase after her but were stopped by an iron grip around your arm.

You hissed as you turned to face whoever was stopping you from saving your sister. Ao’nung pulled you in, his eyes scanning over your face as he tried to tell you to fall back. You stood now on the remnants of a destroyed boat, though you would much rather be on your way to hunt whoever had stolen your sister from you. 

“Let me go!” You yelled at the Metkayinan boy, your other hand coming up to yank his hold off of you. “I need to get to the demon ship, now!”

“And let you die?” He argued back. “No, I won’t allow it.”

“Who the hell do you think you are?” You spat, your tone as venomous as your stare. “Who are you to decide that for me?”

“That does not matter! I will not let you go in there unarmed!” He fought back, both of his hands now gripping your forearms. 

You hissed at him again, your body on the brink of lashing out. Was he out of his mind? Your siblings were in danger, now more than ever. He could not keep you here, you weren’t going to allow it. You thrashed, exerting yourself to the max as you tried to free yourself from his hold. 

“[Y/N], please,” Rotxo spoke up, his expression filled with concern. “Ao’nung is right, it is too dangerous for you to go in there alone!”

“I do not care!” You roared. “Kiri was just taken, right before our eyes! If I do not get to her now she could die! What don’t you understand about that?”

They flinched at your voice, and that gave you the opportunity to finally free yourself from Ao’nung. Your head whipped in his direction, your glare shooting daggers into his skull. He moved to grab you again, but you were swift in avoiding his movements. You were about to jump back into the water and swim to the demon ship before you caught sight of someone from your peripheral. 

You turned, your breath hitching as you watched your brothers hastily guide an ilu to a desolate island. You didn’t have to say another word before the three of you swam hurriedly to them, your legs burning as you forced yourself to move faster. 

You climbed up the rocks, not caring if your knees and palms were scrapped by the jagged edges. You opened your mouth to call out to them, but stopped as soon as you registered the scene in front of you. Your heart dropped, and you could feel yourself shake as emotion after emotion overwhelmed your body.

On the ground lay Neteyam, his body jerking as he fought to maintain his breath. There was a scarlet wound on his chest, blood continuously leaking out of him as Lo’ak did his best to stop it from flowing any further. You nearly lost balance as you dropped down, holding your brother’s head away from the hard rock and onto your lap.

“What happened?” You demanded, your eyes frantically examining his current state. “What happened?”

“‘Was shot,” Neteyam murmured, the action clearly taking a toll on him. 

“Shut up, damnit,” You hissed at him, your tone fluctuating from anger to concern to fear. “Do not exert yourself for Eywa’s sake!” 

“We went back for Spider,” Lo’ak said to you as he continued to put pressure on your brother’s wound. “Neteyam he- he got,” 

He was panicking now, his breath coming in short. You were trying your best to remain sane, though the situation you were in only aided in making you feel worse. Your sisters were being held hostage by those demons, and now your worst fear had suddenly come to life. 

Your mouth went dry as you tried to focus, your ears ringing from the forced concentration. You couldn’t think straight, and the inconsistent beat of your heart was preventing you from doing anything precisely. Somewhere in the distance you heard your mother and father, their cries of panic suddenly filling the grief-stricken atmosphere. 

You had no time to acknowledge them though, as you were solely focused on Neteyam’s condition. There was blood – so much blood that you started to feel lightheaded from the sight. Your hands had come up behind his back, your palms covering the exit point of his wound. 

The sky above you was grey, the bright blues no longer gracing Awa’atlu. Eclipse was near, and the smoke around you had only added to the lifelessness of the Great Mother’s land. Your brother still struggled to maintain his breath, his pupils dilating more and more the harder he tried to remain conscious. 

You couldn’t think, you couldn’t speak. Your body was operating on auto-pilot, your mind blocking out as many distractions as it could. You hung your head low, feeling hot tears starting to form. You prayed every prayer to Eywa, begging her to spare your brother. It could not be his time yet; it would be too cruel. 

Your father’s hand came up to cup your brother’s face, and you had never seen him more broken in your entire life. Neteyam was begging now, begging to go home. Your real home. Home to the fortress of the Omatikaya, home to the forests of Eywa, home to his family. 

“I know, I know,” You father breathed out, the pain in his heart spreading to his expression. “It’s okay, we’re going home.”

Neteyam looked around him now, his eyes darting from one person to another. His gaze landed on you before he spoke up, his voice so weak that it broke your heart.

“Dad, I,” He finally let out. 

You waited for him to finish his sentence. You waited for what felt like an eternity. You waited and waited and waited. But his reply never came, only the deathly silence of loss filling his being. You didn’t want to believe it. It was not right, this loss. 

You blinked slowly, your breath so slow that it felt like someone had knocked you over. Your mind had registered Neteyam’s death almost instantly, but your heart – oh Eywa, your heart. Your heart was heavy, filled with so much sorrow that it nearly broke you. 

Your world had shifted the moment your brother passed, and it felt wrong. Neteyam’s spirit was with the Great Mother now; you couldn’t battle anyone for his soul back, couldn’t bargain with any Tsahik for more time. He was gone. 

Your mother wailed the moment she realized your brother had passed, and her screams of agony pierced your heart the same way his death had. You felt your shoulder slump, your hands slipping from your brother’s back as you no longer tried to stop the bleeding. 

Your auto-pilot had been switched then, the reality of your world crashing in on you. You felt like you were about to break, like you were about to shatter into a million pieces. Your head was spinning, so much to the point where you nearly fell as you slightly backed away from your brother’s lifeless body. 

Your sweet, beautiful, kind-hearted big brother was gone. You felt like you were a child again, waiting for Neteyam to tell you that this was all just a nightmare. Eclipse had finally set, the world around you going dark as the fires continued to blaze. 

Your family was frantic now, your father trying to get your mother to stay strong, Lo’ak disassociating from the world around him. You cried then, cried like you would never be able to cry again. You placed your forehead against your brother’s cold one, your screams scratching your throat. 

You cried out for Neteyam, cried out for your mighty brother. He was the glue that held your family together, and without him you didn’t know how any of you would be able to live on. The others just watched over you as you sobbed, their eyes so full of pity. 

You didn’t care if they saw you as weak now, you were hurting so badly. May Eywa never let them experience this kind of loss, because you could feel a piece of you dying alongside your brother the longer you continued to cry. You felt a pair of hands come up on your shoulders, and you tried to push them away with whatever might you had left in you. 

“[Y/N],” You heard Ao’nung say, his calloused hands still gentle with you as you continued to break down. “[Y/N] you must rest.”

You lifted your head, finally seeing that your family, as well as Spider, had disappeared. You looked at Tsireya, and the look in her eyes had told you everything you needed to know. Stay here, please, her gaze said. 

You took a deep breath in, and it felt like you were breathing again for the first time. You wanted to go against whatever orders your father had told them to give you, but you knew that acting rashly would only worsen things for you. So you stayed, glued to your brother’s side as you mourned your loss.

Ao’nung had not left your side either, his worriedness for your wellbeing keeping him attentive. You couldn’t tell if he was doing this to help your father or if he was doing this to keep you from going insane, but still it gave you a sense of comfort – however cruel it might be to long for it during this time. 

He didn’t say anything to you, only rubbing your shoulders to keep you grounded and aware. If this had been any other situation, you would have already distanced yourself from him. You and Ao’nung weren’t friends, though you weren’t exactly horrible towards each other either. Either way, you didn’t feel the urge to yell at him to go away; instead his presence soothed you, slowly getting you to calm your nerves. 

You leaned into him, and he took you in with open arms. Though your heart was still heavy, your body had seeked the warmth that it desperately needed. He matched his breathing with yours, aiding to quell the tensenes of your body. 

You watched as Tsireya and Rotxo tried to clean up whatever they could off of your brother’s body, their movements light and gentle. You held his cold hand, your hands coming up to close his eyes. He looked peaceful now, as if he were just resting.

You would have believed so, had it not been for his dried blood on your hands. Your bottom lip quivered, and you closed your eyes once more as you fought to stay composed. 

You felt Ao’nung’s thumb rubbing circles on your arm, his other hand clasped around your free hand. This was an intimate gesture between mated people, you knew, but you didn’t care. His comfort gave you an escape from the harsh realities of life. You felt yourself drifting off, your body too tired to remain awake. 

“Sleep if you want to,” Ao’nung whispered. “You and your brother are safe here.”

You sniffled slightly as you nodded your head, your eyes heavy from crying. “I must pray over him first. I must protect him this one last time.”

He only nodded, still keeping his arms around you as you brought Neteyam’s hand up to your heart. 

“Oel ngati kameie, ma tsmukan, ulte ngaru seiyi irayo. Ngari hu Eywa salew tirea, tokx 'ì'awn slu Na'viyä hapxì.” You said in a hushed tone, the others bowing their heads as you recited the death prayer.

I see you, brother, and I thank you. Your spirit will run with Eywa, while your body will remain and become part of the People.

You leaned back into Ao’nung, your hand finally clasping around his as well. You squeezed his hand, tilting your head slightly to look at him. You closed your eyes, bowing your head to him. 

“I see you.” You whispered. 

He held you closer, his voice the last thing you heard before slumber had taken over your body. “I see you.”

reyalvr © 2023 ... do not repost, alter, or steal my work.

tags┊@chunghaaaa, @kiris-wife, @8resa, @avatarkv, @urlocalkeemawearingartist

[sumplys]

things i wish you said — c. leclerc

drowning in heartache, you decide to take your broken heart elsewhere

cw: alcohol, language switch (english to french), angst with a happy ending

I think about these things at night, before I fall asleep

as you stepped into the bar, you were hit with a gust of hot air and the strong scent of liquor.

it was a sunday night, the abu dhabi grand prix finished, the season finally at an end. your mind had already been mellowed from the two shots you and your friends had taken before arriving.

seeing him on that podium called for a night where you could completely let loose and let your head go numb.

you weren’t a wag anymore. you and charles had broken up in mexico, following a bad crash and a family emergency, charles told you that you didn’t fit his schedule any longer, and it would be best if your relationship came to an end.

ending a three year relationship because of “unfortunate circumstances” felt like a stab to the heart. it felt less like his inconvenient schedule and more like… maybe he has just given up on trying to love you. of course it was hard, especially as all of your closest friends stayed wags, which meant charles was forever encapsulated in your circle. but, with due time, you could travel with them like you used to, attending races once more, but it wasn’t easy, i mean, it hurt seeing him. running into charles everywhere, all the time wasn’t at all ideal. your heart was surged with past memories when you would accidentally catch his eyes on the circuit, but he would break eye contact as soon as it began.

maybe it is best this way, is what you tried to tell yourself, but no matter how much you reassured yourself that this was fine, the tears still fell as soon as you could escape his presence.

it had been four months since the break up. he’d gone through two girls since then and you were still going on pathetic half dates with men who refused to pay the check.

“hey,” your friend lily murmured, putting a hand on your shoulder, “are you gonna be okay? i mean, i don’t think he’s here but my sources but my sources could be wrong.”

you looked over across the room at her “sources,” and alex waved at you guys, quickly excusing himself from the conversation he was previously having.

you smiled, “oh, yeah. i’ll be good, don’t worry about me.”

“silly girl, i’ll always worry about you,” she said with a half pitying smile.

alex beamed at you from behind lily and you gave him a smile in return, his presence still unbeknownst to his girlfriend.

“i’m gonna get a drink, okay?” you asked, less of a question and more of an excuse to leave alex and lily alone, without her being worried about you disappearing.

“okay…” she said begrudgingly, “keep your phone on though!”

you winked at her, already getting lost in the crowd.

you order your drink, starting a tab as you let your mind get lost in the noise and overwhelming warmth of the nightclub.

you used to hate the grand prix after parties more than anything, especially at the season finale, but at this point in your life, they were something you more or less looked forward to. being able to let go and be more or less stress free was a luxury, one that you could not easily afford. instead of a chore, it had begun to feel like a treat.

you took shots two at a time every few minutes for god knows how long, drinking until the room was hazy.

a song began blaring through the speakers, one that, even in your state, reminded you of him and you quickly spun to scan the room.

your eyes narrowed as you saw him.

he was in his godforsaken white linen shirt, looking great as ever, as he danced with a familiar brunette. she was probably a model or something.

you watched as all of his senses seemed to come alive at once as you stared at him, quickly straightening his back and scanning the room.

when your eyes met his, he didn’t break eye contact. instead, he kept his eyes on you, pulling from the embrace he had held with this mystery woman, whispering something in her ear as he disappeared into the crowd once more.

what a dick.

your mind was too scattered, with all of the alcohol in your system you couldn’t seem to form the thoughts you needed to in order to not cry. you were about to head to the bar to close your tab and head out for the night, hoping there was a taxi situation that wouldn’t take too long to arrange as a cool hand pressed against the small of your back.

you spin, getting bumped from behind and falling into the mystery person.

you look up, only to meet the most familiar haunting green eyes from this side of hell.

you pull back quickly, “sorry,” you whisper, stepping to the side as you try to let him past you, but he doesn’t move.

“did you see that?” he whispered.

you blinked, feeling especially dizzy all of a sudden, “the girl?”

he shook his head, “i’m sorry, that wasn’t fair. it’s not fair of me to be here.”

“no, it’s fine. you have every right. i mean, i should have expected you would be here. you made podium after all.”

“yeah,” he murmured, a little breathlessly, “i’m not… with her.”

“‘s fine,” you slurred, “i mean, i don’t care. ‘it’s not fair of me.’”

charles’ face went blank as you mocked his words, “i get you’re mad…”

you let out a shaky breath, “oh, you get it? sure, i’m sure you do,” you glared at him, all possibility of tears gone with the boiling rage in your stomach, “no, fuck that. and fuck you.”

“okay… i deserved that.”

“no, you didn’t. what you really deserve is for me to actually slap you right now, but lucky for you, i’m not the cruel one in this relationship.”

his hands slipped into his pockets, nodding and looking down, “you can go ahead, i can take it.”

you scoffed, “are you stupid?”

“yeah,” his eyes met yours, “maybe a little bit.”

your eyes sparkled with the remnants of tears and the memories of your past. maybe part of him wanted this as bad as you did.

he pulled you into a bathroom in a blur, turning to lock it, almost in one swift move.

“look…” he trailed off, pressing his hand to the back of your neck.

you seemingly pooled at his touch, immediately feeling the comfort of his warmth. you pressed yourself against his chest, arms wrapping around his waist as you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“oh, ma douce… non… that’s not why i pulled you over here.”

you face flushed as your your arms went limp, returning back to your sides. you bit your lip, looking down, tears forming in the creases of your eyes once more.

how could he make you feel this much?

“non…” he pulled you to him in an embrace, “why?”

“no… it’s okay… i’m just stupid.”

“no, no… merde,” he swore, “i want to. you know i want to, don’t you? it’s just you’re so… ivre. we can’t. we shouldn’t. you’re mad at me remember? please get mad at me.”

your tears still fell, but you understood. charles was always serious about the right time, the correct circumstances. it was a quality you were grateful for in your relationship, but now it just felt like a slap in the face.

you shook your head, “it’s okay. i’m sorry.”

your hands reached behind him as you tried to swing the door open, but he quickly grabbed your wrists and brought them to his sides, wrapping your own hands around his torso.

the hug felt good. it didn’t feel right, but it felt amazing. you, in your far gone state, could not control yourself from getting lost in the comfort and warmth of it all.

he leaned back against the wall, letting you rest there, ready to wait as long as it took for you to regain control.

“i wanted to talk,” he whispered.

“i’m not sure what there is to talk about.”

he laced a hand through your hair, not holding your face to his chest with force, but with enough strength to make it clear he wanted it to stay there, “i wanted—i want—to stay with you forever. you must know that. it was just hard for me. the car was shit, life was bad, and i didn’t want to drag you back down. i didn’t know if we could take it another time.”

you blinked.

the ‘time’ he referred to was the first year of your relationship, one of the darkest ages of his career. in all honesty, it wasn’t a bad season in terms of his performance, it was just a bad year—family problems, and then the P6 in the championship was just the cherry on top of it all.

it was a hard year for him, and in turn you too. he shut you out a lot of the time, and it left you spiralling, grasping onto threads of him that took every ounce of your strength to keep hold of.

you nodded, this explanation made sense.

“but… you had to have known that i would do it again… i don’t care about all that.”

he cupped your face in his hands, the warmth of them coursing through your body in waves, “i know. but i didn’t want you to.”

“why did you just have to leave me? shut me out so entirely? i reached out to you when your sister told me you got in that accident, i—i was so worried,” you stared into his eyes, “and you wouldn’t even text me back.”

“but, god, i was watching everything you do. i tried so hard to forget it all, for your sake, but, i mean, i couldn’t even get your hair out of my room.”

you tried to wipe the emotion off your face as you looked up at him but he just shook his head and smiled, “i had so many people tell me so many things about where you were.”

you smiled, and he pressed his lips to yours once. you tried to grasp at more but he just grinned.

your face fell back against his chest and your eyes shut.

[paradoxesofgalaxies]

As I was working on the letter to my parents about going no-contact, I tried looking for examples because I was so lost in how to approach it but most of what I found was a bunch of ableist garbage (can we please stop assuming abusive parents have a personality disorder?!)

So now that I've sent the letter and feel pretty good about how it turned out, I thought I'd share it here for anyone else who is thinking of cutting off a parent.

Before writing it, I had decided that I didn't want to address any of the abuse with them. When I've brought it up before they just tried to gaslight me and I don't need to deal with that. Instead I chose to focus on their transphobia as it is also a valid reason for why I want to go no-contact, but it's less vulnerable to address (for me).

To Mom and Dad,

I want to start by saying that I'm not asking you to change your values or beliefs. This is not an attempt to force you to accept me. This is a boundary I need to set because of my own values.

Over the past few years, trans rights have become a major point of political discourse. And lately, Republican attacks on trans people have increased. Over the past few months, this has escalated to calls for the eradication/elimination of "transgenderism" which is a call for the eradication of people like me.

I'm sure you think I'm overreacting or being dramatic, but I have watched this country rapidly become less safe for me and other trans people. And yet you still support politicians who want to eradicate me. Who call people like me groomers and child abusers.

The Republican party is working to enact genocide against trans people. I don’t feel safe with anyone who still supports them, and I’m sorry to say that includes you.

And I can no longer just pretend this isn't happening to try to maintain our relationship. It's been nearly a year and half since I came out. Dad, I don't think I've ever heard you use my name. And Mom, you may use my name sometimes, but you've shown again and again that you will swap back to my old name and pronouns as soon as you think I can't hear. I'm not interested in half-hearted placations as you make it clear how little you respect me.

While you may see this as "just politics", I don't have that luxury. These new laws are targeting people like me. These politicians are calling for my eradication.

Going forward, I do not wish to have any contact. This is not a decision I've made lightly nor quickly. I have spent years and years carefully navigating conversations and having to keep quiet about so much to be able to maintain some form of a relationship with you, but I’m no longer interested in trying to force myself into an acceptable form for you. It may not have been spoken, but I’ve long understood that your love for me has always been conditional. I am a gay trans man. I know you can’t accept that, and I’m not interested in your “love the sinner, not the sin” mentality. This is who I am, not a “sin” that can be separated off and rejected. But, again, I don’t expect or ask you to change your beliefs. I know how strongly you hold your faith. But this is what I need to do to hold to my own values.

I ask that you don't try to contact me. I will not be responding.

[morningsunandnightsky]

Touch of love | Na Jaemin

slice of life au

pairing: Jaemin x reader

warnings: none

word count: 850

genre: fluff

sypnopsis: It wasn't love at first sight exactly, but it was familiarity. Something like oh, hello, it's you. It's going to be you.

Taglist: @gangsta-dragon @thelilyshope @donkey-hyuck

An: A very short one just to get back into writing, please let me know what you think. Hope you enjoy!

As the train stops, the weary expressions of the passengers in line become visible.  A few of them board. While others go sit down for the following one. You see a woman carrying a gorgeous cat with emerald eyes. A little girl approaches her and asks if she can pet it. The older woman happily nods as she crouches down next to her. You smile for the first time all day when you see how delighted the young girl is.

The conductor scans the area to ensure that everyone who wished to board has done so. All other sounds suddenly get drowned out by the rumbling of an approaching train. 

You then notice a tall man running from the opposite side of the railway station. You see him trying to get the conductor’s attention, but he doesn’t hear him. The moment you are ready to touch the window to let him know, the light bursts through the clouds and temporarily blinds you. 

The man was gone when you opened your eyes again, and by the time you could see clearly, the doors had already closed. You feel a sense of defeat because you couldn’t do anything to help. He may have been in going to an important meeting or making a visit to see someone because they were leaving. You know how it feels to miss your train and have to wait for the next, even if he was just heading home. The thought of being able to help but having not done anything stays in the back of your mind the whole time. 

You gaze at the endless landscape for a while. With the rumbling of the train in the distance, it is rather relaxing. It provides you with a chance to unwind after a long day. When the conductor asks for your ticket, you are just about to drift off. You pull it out of your bag as you sit up straight. He gives you a nod before moving on to the next person.

While looking around you notice that only one other seat is taken. You clearly saw people board earlier, which makes you think, "Did I really fall asleep earlier?"

Your gaze is drawn to the unfamiliar person seated across from you. Jaemin is using a pencil to jot something down on a sheet of paper. You're not really sure whether he's writing or sketching because you can't see what's on the paper.  

His hand glides across the paper smoothly and effortlessly. Holding the pencil with long, slightly angled fingers. His face is being bathed in the golden beams of the setting sun. On his cheekbones, you can make out the shadow of his long eyelashes. thereby softening his angelic appearance. His eyes become as soft and luxurious as flower petals under the sun. He appeared like a real piece of art to you, and you wish you could take a picture of him. 

Before locking those same brown eyes with yours that you were enjoying just a moment earlier, you notice a smile starting to appear on his face. You hastily turn your attention to your shoes out of fear of being caught staring. But that spilt second of eye contact is enough to make you blush.

You return to observing the passing scenery, but every so often you get the impression that he is keeping an eye on you. However, when you quickly glance over, you notice that he is still working.  

You reason that since you are so tired, it must all be in your head. 

The conductor's voice reaches your ears once more, as he announces your arrival at the following stop. The train then gradually slows down and stops. In the corner of your eye, you catch Jaemin gathering his belongings and standing up. You turn your head to face him as he gets closer.  

He hands you the piece of paper and says, "Thanks for earlier and please accept this.” 

He gives you one final smile before leaving. You unfold the paper and see a drawing of yourself smiling brightly while you look outside. You notice that he has written something in the bottom corner. 

“There is no sunrise or sunset that could compare to your eyes when you smile. -Jaemin” 

After reading that, you stifle a little gasp and swiftly look to check whether he has already departed. He is already looking at you when you finally spot him through the crowd. 

You simply return the same look, unsure of what to do. not even for a split second letting go of his gaze. Though it's too late now because the train has already resumed its motion before you even realised it, you wish you had spoken to him while you still had the chance.

Because maybe your paths were supposed to cross and he wasn't just another stranger passing by...

But you could never have communicated as much with words as you do with your eyes right at this moment. Both of your eyes hold a million unspoken words of curiosity, gratitude, and perhaps a touch of love. 

[snobbybastard]

Phillip Graves Angst

i got this idea for a one shot where daddy issues graves survives the tank and he's in the hospital and for days shepherd doesn't visit him and he's left to stew and realize everything he did was for nothing and shepherd never cared about him and he confronts shepherd when he finally visits and shepherd is just like welp you're not useful to me anymore, just another loose end to tie up and then graves starts feeling weird and shepherd is just like teehee I got the nurse to give you too much morphine and graves dies 😝 and um it's literally just angst which I usually don't do I like happy endings but I was feeling evil with the idea

!!not really proof read!!

Warnings: Mentions of violence, OD , Self-hate? , Phillip Redemption ❤️

Wordcount: 2k

Floating. That's the only way he could describe it. Weightless. Like zero Gs, drifting around so calm. Without care in the endless void he found himself in. Is he dead? He has to be.. Right? Phillip doesn't remember what got him here, so peaceful, and he's thankful for it. He doesn't have the strength to resist the promising luxury of rest. A long overdue break from the overworked aching in his veins, the unbearable muscle fatigue, the sleepless nights slowly but surely taking its toll. The images of his soldiers corpses piled up with bright crimson painted beneath them plaguing his mind, eyes sunken and bloodshot. He regretted he couldn't spare them the horror, they were under his orders and he failed them. Guilt had infected every inch of his being. He could've helped, but he didn't. He sent them out there. To die. Like lambs to a slaughter. And he might as well been the butcher.

It stings. His comfortable void had changed into a searing heat, like he was drowning in boiling water. He wanted to go back, to feel the previous serenity. He wasn't able to. He didn't deserve to.

When he finally woke up and opened his eyes the lights overheard blinded him, making him squeeze his eyes shut again. He wasn't dead. He couldn't be. Not with the smothering pain shocking though his system. His limbs were exhausted and he had a splitting headache. It felt like someone had put a bullet in his skull and it was rattling around, hitting against every nerve and causing as much damage as it went along.

Reluctantly Phillip opened his eyes, taking a minute to adjust to the vivid bulbs. His sight was still blurry, he wished he was in any condition to make sense of what transpired, but all he knew was he really fucked up. Things were staring to come into focus. A sterile room with a small window and bland curtain. He was dressed h in normal hospital clothing. It was silent, dead silent. Save for the light breeze outside and the steady beeping of a monitor. The room seemed untouched. Not that he was expecting any visitors. He didn't have any contact with his family nor anyone who would care if they received that unlucky letter in the mail. But what about Sheperd? He was certain the word about him being hospitalised would've gotten around to him by now. And by the looks of it, he didn't even blink an eye. Sure he was only his superior, a busy guy at that, but after all they've been through, everything he risked, he can't just be disposable, he's got to be worth more?

His head felt like a thousand pounds as he looked around, eyes already threatening to shut once again.

How long was he out for?

Phillips limbs were locked, desperate to function. He continued to scrutinize his surroundings. Searching for something he couldn't quite remember. An IV in his arm accompanied with bad bruising and severe burns peeling back on his skin. His fingers curl restlessly at his sides as Phillip tries to use his elbows to prop himself up. He sits up and the shifting of his weight irritates every injury he had obtained, His body yells for him to stop moving. He thinks of yelling himself, but the desire to cry out sits firmly in his thoughts, even if he wanted to his throat is cracked and dry.

He raised his hand instinctively to the scarring on his forearm. He gently traced the indent, wincing slightly at the feather-light touch. The skin was still sensitive after what had happened.

The mattress he was laying on was like a brick, it might've been comfortable at one point but Graves could feel the imprint he had made from laying down so long, being able to feel each and every sore on his back from being bedridden. Phillip is military, so he could sleep on a rusty bed of nails if he had to, but there's still a very noticeable difference between pitched tents in the middle of nowhere and some temporary apartment he rented out. And right now, he'd do anything to be back in the warm embrace of his home.

A few days blew by, only in the company of passing nurses who tried their best to make their visits as quick as possible. As much as Graves would hate to admit it, he was lonely. He missed the Shadows. His boys. His family. And given all that time alone, Phillip was left with his thoughts. The same ones he tries his best to get away from.

--

It mostly revolved around the Shadow Company. Usually if there was a mishap and some tragedy happened he'd always make sure his boys got the best treatment he could manage, and if they didn't make it, he'd inform their families as soon as possible and help them as much as possible while grieving. But recently, with all the deaths, all those lives.. nobody could have kept track. Now those families couldn't get the closure they needed, only able to go off some stupid information that they're MIA, giving them a sliver of hope, false hope. Or if they found a body- or what was left of one, KIA.

They deserved more than him.

He wasn't a leader-, he wasn't brave.

He was foolish.., gullible and reckless.

He put his trust blindly in someone who would send all of the Shadows in a building engulfed in flames without a second thought. Someone who would berate his men on the daily. Toss their lives around for fun. How could he have been so stupid?

He thought he could keep his guard down- if only for a moment, just because he felt as if Sheperd had good intentions.

Sheperd didn't care about him, not in the slightest. He treated Graves like shit, and he tolerated it. Pushed him away like a new pet desperate for attention.

But he would be lying if he said he didn't feel the need to make up for losing the missiles, especially since it was someone he was loyal to.

His mind would also wander to the things he had done.

He tried to make himself believe he was pressured into doing it- it's not 100% wrong, but he wanted to prove himself. Show people that he's not just some coward, though he feared it had done the opposite effect.

He deserved to die, in that tank.

No, it wouldn't make up for everything that was lost, but it would get rid of one more problem.

He knew he made a mistake.

Just like many, many times before.

He couldn't get rid of the feeling of pure guilt, that just slowly gnaws away at you, that follows you endlessly. Like a heavy strain on your shoulders that you can't seem to ever shake.

He didn't think he would end up like this when he took the job. He was a good man before this.

He just got mixed in with the wrong kind of people. An honest mistake, really.

He didn't want this.

Phillip Graves wanted to help people.

After the merciless massacre in Las Almas, he became an empty shell of a man, following orders without question. He was a husk of someone he used to be.

An empty pit in his stomach. Never-ending and condemned.

He had seen a lot, more than most. Full of enough pain and misery to destroy most. He held strong, well, tried to. He had one two many reasons for an emotional break.

But he didn't, not until Sheperd. Phillip had thought he saw everything, but the General had brought a new kind of brutality to his work.

--

For the first time today the door of the hospital room creaked open. Phillip, who was half asleep, snapped his eyes open, the sudden sound avoking newfound curiosity, he gave his full attention to the two figures in the doorway. It was a nurse- and Sheperd.

He looked fine, no ounce of regret, no softness in his features to show he messed up- the kohl on his eyes only highlighted the sharpness of his gaze. A tight coil in Graves chest tightened, just the sight of him- all high and mighty, no remorse for all the lives his so-called 'operations' cost, made every drop of his blood boil. Like molten lava, bubbling and waiting to burst.

Phillip clenches his jaw so much that he can feel his teeth squeak. Sheperd tips his head slightly, taking a few steps forward until he's at the foot of the bed. If Phillip hadn't been bedridden for days he would have jumped up on him right now and punched that fucker right in the face.

The men remain silent as the nurse goes to the beside, rumaging through a tray full of medical tools and equipment. Sheperd looks down at Phillip, a sorry sight. An eery, serene stare that send chills down Graves body. "You look like shit, Commander."

That's the first sentence he spoke to him in over weeks.

"I can't imagine why," He'd quip back, venom radiating from his tone. Sheperd gave him so much as a glare, crossing his arms.

The nurse approached Phillip with his daily needle of pain killers, and disinfected his arm with a cotton pad before injecting a needle into his arm, right into a vein, a light hiss escaping his lips.

"Where the hell have you been?" He asked Sheperd, narrowing his eyes. He thought he'd like some company or atleast someone to talk to after all that time alone but he's already irritated by his presence.

"I've had work to do, it seems to have piled up when someone fucked up the past few operations," Those words sliced into Graves heart sharper and more precise than any blade. He was only following orders. Orders from him.

His jaw couldn't have gotten any more tense and he balled his fists, his white-knuckle grip digging half moon crescents into his palms. 

"I gave everything I had, everything, and you blame me?!" His voice faltered, and he swore he saw something in Sheperds expression, his nostrils flared, a manic look in his dark eyes. Usually Sheperd was more of a private person. More shielded and not as easy to read. A poker face always plastered on. Now he had something more easily identifiable—more of a primal feeling, something hostile.

Theres silence, layers of thick tension.

"...I thank you, for that.." Sheperds voice is disturbingly passive, his tone is calm compared to his incensed body language. Two conflicting feelings are giving mixed signals to Phillip.

"—But you are no use to me anymore."

"What?" His voice was unfamilarly quiet, almost forgien to his ears.

"You served your purpose, quite poorly. But

that's beside the point. You're useless to me now."

His breath left his lungs as though he had been sucker-punched. Phillip feels like his gut had been ripped open, he was used.

He couldn't be serious.

Why would he do this? He proved himself practical multiple times, maybe having a few slip ups but he always tried his best to fix them. It painted his usual black and white world, red. There was a strain on his chest that persists even as he pushed it down, a cold shiver shocks through his body as he tries to defend himself to the best of his ability.

"I'm... I'm not.."

"And by the looks of it, you're just another loose end to tie up." Sheperd interupts sharply with a small shrug of his shoulders.

The anger Phillip felt was watered down, diluted into heartache. The person he thought he could trust the most, had betrayed him.

"I can still—"

"No. No you can't. You've had enough chances." He breathed out a sickening chuckle.

Phillips breath seemed to be caught, like he was choking. He didn't know what was happening, he went wide eyed with panic. His eyes went to the nurse for help, but she only stood back and watched.

"I told you, you're only another loose end to tie up."

It was horrible. He had no choice but to watch the two as his head was hung down low and his skin was as cold as ice. He didn't even know if he was still breathing. The room was quiet once again this time only for the sounds of a mix between gagging and coughing. He struggled, until his body goes limp, he lies flat on his back, and stares at the white ceiling. The ceiling seemed to spin in circles and a deafening buzz rung out in his ears.

"Pathetic."

Phillip Graves knew he would die, slow and painful, it was only a matter of time. Only a matter of wounds that had yet to scar over. It was always coming

He believed- knew that he would die alone. Just as he deserved— charred and broken by his past. Trust was a risk, and Phillip took it like a fool. And now here he was, alone again, burned and betrayed once more.

[kittycak3s]

There is literally nothing scarier than being a disabled person who has no choice but to rely on abusive people to survive.

I wish I could leave.

[oneprompt]

Hello hello, Im sorry to hear about your recent ER visit and wish you all the best for a speedy <3 I know there really isnt a way to rest in there, especially when the nurses and attendants are checking in every 10 seconds. If you are feeling up to it, do you mind writing a small scenario with King and a fem reader (enemies to lovers I’m thinking) and how it would play out? Your health comes first so if you’re not able to do it I understand. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day :)

authors note : ya ;; but thankfully , i wasnt in there for too long <3 jm just on meds right now , and im recovering at home .. this was certainly a fun prompt , i hope you enjoy the way i executed it ..! <3 lysm

extra : reader is 14ft (because if you were average human height , that’d be extremely odd .)

warning : this came out pretty risque :(( my apologies ..! my brain is rather .. jumbled today.

King x F! Rival! Reader

         “Must you always act this way, oiran?” King stared down at you, burly arms crossed over his tight chest. You hated whenever King called you oiran, reminding you of the life you once led back in Wano Kuni. And he knew how much you hated it. 

          “Does it bother you, my dearest lunarian?” And you did just the same back, throwing the shame of King’s past right in his face. You loved seeing his change in mannerisms, his large body closing away like a pathetic little songbird. There was nothing you loved more then making King upset, prying away at his most fragile nerves. 

Under any other society, you’d be viewed as nothing but a dreadful woman. You were ran out of Wano for your cruelty towards others. But not here, not in Onigashima. Instead, you were praised for your sadistic ways, the way you could hurt a person to their very core. After seeing you make man after man spiral into despair, Kaido couldn’t help but hold you in his good graces. How fascinating you were, not having to dirty your hands but still being entirely capable of ending a life. You managed to amaze the emperor with your wrath, enough for him to take you in as one of his commanders. 

That’s why King hated you oh so much. You got everything you could ever dream of served on a silver platter. Everybody else had to work for their place, sacrificing their lives for Kaido to even glance their way. But not you. No, of course not! King hated nothing more then the fortunate. You had a luxurious life in Wano, and an even more privileged one in Onigashima. Tsk. 

Even with no more connections to an oiran lifestyle, you were still styled as one. Your hair was always in a fancy up-do, a pricey obi snatching your waist, thousands of berries worth of pink silk engulfing your body... This was pure nepotism. No, favoritism! And for what? Because you were a little bit pretty?

          “Don’t get cocky, Y/n.” King grunted, voice gruff as he uncrossed his arms. “I won’t go easy on you.”

King was a cool man, often capable of keeping his composure in any situation. But all reason was thrown out the window the moment he’d make contact with those bambi eyes of yours, eyes that begged to be worshipped like an absolute Goddess. That may work on those Tobi Roppo idiots, and perhaps even master Kaido... but not on King. They never would... Never. 

         “Oh, yes?” You glanced upward at King, casually resting a palm along his chest, palm soothing the black leather. “And what if I don’t want you to, Arber?” You batted your lashes, plush lips pulled up in an innocent smile. You held back a taunting chuckle, continuously fluttering your mascara covered lashes.

In just a matter of seconds, you were shoved straight onto your back, slamming against the desk in King’s business quarters. Pages upon pages of financial letters flew down, cascading across the floor. You held back from making a peep as your spine grinded hard against the solid wood desk, not wanting to give King the satisfaction of intimidating you. 

Your glittery eyelids opened, meeting the man above you. King was heaving, shoulders withering as he squeezed your wrists between his gloved digits. What a sight to behold. The most collected man of Onigashima, shaking and panting above you. Knowing you held such power to drive King to such lengths made you feel more superior then ever.

        “Call me that again and i’ll slit your throat. Got that?” One of King’s hands grabbed ahold of your hair, yanking on it ever so slightly. Strands of your hair escaped your elaborate styling, making your appearance much more messier then the prim imagine it was, moments prior. Something about your disheveled appearance made King warm up, the way your kimono fell from your shoulders, exposing the nape of your neck just the slightest bit. Nothing could be a more attractive vision, could it? 

Men are so bad at hiding their desires, aren’t they? As a former oiran, you’re bound to notice these things. The change of expression, mannerisms... You could tell King wanted you. He wanted you bad. 

With not a lick of hesitation, you knotted your legs around King’s waist, pushing him closer to your lap. Your rivaling aesthetics collided, providing the upmost perfect replica of the both of you: messy, uncomplimentary of one another, You stared up at King, his eyes half lidded as he was pushed up against you even more so now. 

      “I don’t think murdering me is what you want most from me right now... Is it?” You cooed to the older man, pushing yourself upward, your chests now rubbing against each other. You could feel his heart bashing against you, even behind all those ribs, all that flesh, all that...clothing. 

King didn’t utter a single word, instead just offering you a slight nod of head. Perfect. You had him right where you wanted him; in the palm of your hand. You knew it was a matter of time before King came around, falling captive to your charm. He was just as easy as anybody else, no matter how hard he tried to ignore his manly instincts. 

    “Don’t just sit there,” you spoke up, a seductive grin splayed across your intoxicating features. “Get undressed.” 

[andromedaexists]

I've had a lot of friends reach out to me the past couple days and I just don't have the spoons to respond to all of y'all so I'm gonna say what I need to here:

I love you and appreciate you all. Your condolences and well wishes were received and mean a lot to me.

Now, for those who are not in the loop, I would like to take a moment to tell you about why I haven't been around for a hot minute despite really trying my best to be (under the cut, because good lord are there a lot of heavy topics on the table such as pet loss, depression, mental and physical health and the degradation thereof, stress and anxiety and more)

So, just in a brief bullet point recap, since about july of this years I have:

been switched onto a project at work that put increasingly more important responsibilities on my shoulders despite me saying that i never want to be in that position again

been switched back to my normal project in the middle of a hierarchy shift, therefore not knowing who to contact for literally anything (we're still working this out, btw)

started my final semester of college with 4 classes (reading & translating dead language #1, reading & translating dead language #2, novels in dead language #1, and the history of my native tongue that requires reading in the dead ancient form of it)

found myself being forced into monthly outings with my mother (a test in repairing our relationship that is going... okay)

somehow became integral in a discord (not upset, just not sure how i ended up here frfr)

being told on the first day of classes that i am having surgery ASAP on a cyst (we all know my history with cysts here.. it's not pretty)

the absolute atrocity that blue ridge ended up being. that was supposed to be my relax time, my time to unwind from everything else and i still have not recovered my loss of sleep from being up for 40 hours straight because of how horrible that weekend was

had my surgery cancelled because i'm too fat and then being ghosted by the doctor

had my heart absolutely demolished by a guy I thought I could love, only to be reminded that love is a luxury not afforded to people like me

broke up with my primary care physician because my health is degrading so fucking bad that i literally woke up feeling like i broke my wrist just because. and he still won't take me seriously. i can barely walk at this point, let alone stay awake and functioning longer than 4 hours at a time

had my employee review (that actually went well, but i did get my ass chewed out for low production)

had the world fall apart around me as any hope i had for humanity is shattered

release my book 3 days later because it was too late to change the release day by then

bury myself in a depression hole that i'm learning is normal for authors after their book releases

have to move my grandma into assisted living/memory care

have to immediately move myself out of my apartment with a weeks notice because the stress of living next to violent neighbors was finally getting to me (triggered my past with domestic violence) AND they started harassing me

had to undergo a medical procedure because i can't even eat food without my body rebelling

missed a month of classes because of depression

failed 2 latin tests in a row followed by bombing the midterm which was... great of my mental health especially considering i haven't received anything lower than a B or a C on an exam since ever (i was an honor roll/4.0/gifted studies kid)

Failed a History of the English Language exam because i cannot code switch between German, Latin, and English quickly enough (those are the 3 that comprise middle english btw)

a week after moving into my grandma's house I almost burned it down

found out that someone I really respected and looked up to as a friend was a Zionist

and finally: on Saturday I had to put down the cat I have owned for 15 years. She's undoubtedly older than that, but I was her owner for 15 years. She was my first ESA. I was able to tell my prof I wouldn't be in for the SECOND LATIN MIDTERM on monday because of it so now i have to take it tomorrow, but i couldn't get out of the greek exam or work. I asked for one (1) day off work and was told that my cat dying was not sufficient enough reason for the time off without using PTO (that i don't have because I used it on the absolutely horrible weekend that was Blue Ridge)

So yeah. I haven't been around. I've been more around on twitter but that's mostly me just reposting a bunch of posts about Palestine rn and other posts that my friends make. I'm so fucking exhausted and nauseous and just done. I haven't really written anything either because my work up until now has shown both the horrors of humanity and the underlying hope but I do not have that hope anymore and it hurts

Ironically since I've started working on Desecrate I've started wondering if this is my punishment for straying from God all those years ago. I don't think so but not I gotta add re-working through my religious trauma and my Catholic Guilt to my never ending list of things to do.

If you read this whole thing, kudos to you. I appreciate you all and I'm sorry for dumping it but I have not been able to really say anything about what's going on in my life because i just.. idk I don't have the words for it most days. I'm just tired.

[twilightmalachite]

Cruise - Suite Compensation 2

Author: Akira

Characters: Natsume, Sora, Tsumugi

Translator: Mika Enstars

Proofers: rui

"Are you alright, Natsume-kun!? If Sora-kun hadn’t been there to catch you, you would have hit the ground!"

Season: Summer

Location: Cruise Ship Suite

⚠️ This chapter is not yet JP Proofread!

One hour later…

Tsumugi: Whoa…! This is much more extravagant than I would have imagined~!

Sora: HuHu~! ☆ This is amazing~! It looks like a room from a castle! Sora feels like a prince~! ♪

Natsume: HaH, I sEE… This room certainly does live up to the price tag of over a million yEN. You don’t get to step foot in a place like this every dAY.

Tsumugi: All things considered, everything worked out smoothly, huh~? It might’ve been on a whim, but I’m relieved it dawned on me to propose a performance in exchange for permission to board.

Still, we don’t have time to take it easy. Now that it’s been utilized as a means of exchange, we have to put together a performance of equal value. We can’t fail here.

Natsume: RigHT, yeAH…

Sora: Shisho~, Senpai! Lookie here! There’s so many rooms!

Tsumugi: Wow, you’re right~. With this many rooms, you’ll be able to enjoy the luxury of having a complete room to yourself, huh?

Sora: We have to say thank you a whole bunch to Shu-ni~san and Anzu~! They said it was really hard and they had to plead a lot to get things through.

Tsumugi: That’s right. But rather than saying thank you, let’s think about how to deliver the best show possible. That would be the best way to repay them both.

If we give a poor performance, it would only be a disgrace to Shu-kun and Anzu-chan who endorsed us.

Sora: Yes! Understood~! Sora will do his best and give it his all!

Tsumugi: Ahaha, great attitude.

Then, should we hold a meeting regarding what we’re going to do for our upcoming performance? How does that sound, Natsume-kun?

Natsume: ……

Sora: Shisho~?

Natsume: HuH? WhAT…?

SorRY. It’s still hOT. I’m a little out of iT…

Tsumugi: Hm…? The air conditioner is running though, so it should be cool inside.

Actually, your complexion doesn’t look all there, Natsume-kun. In fact, ever since we were moving around the island, you’ve looked exhausted.

Excuse me for a moment…

Natsume: …HuH? What’re yOU…

Tsumugi: Your cheek’s a bit warm… It could be that you’ve gotten mild heatstroke.

Sora and I will conduct the meeting, so please rest for now, Natsume-kun.

Natsume: …It’s okAY. I’m feeling fiNE.

This concerns Switch’s upcoming woRK, so I’ll join yOU… WhA!?

Sora: Shisho~! Be careful!

Tsumugi: Are you alright, Natsume-kun!? If Sora-kun hadn’t been there to catch you, you would have hit the ground!

Natsume: Ah… ThanKS, Sora.

Sora: Is Shisho~ feeling dizzy~? Sora wishes for Shisho~ to go rest, please…!

Tsumugi: Look, Natsume-kun, you can’t just leave Sora-kun’s wish unfulfilled, right?

I’ll fill you in on the details of the meeting later. For now, please let yourself rest.

C’mon, c’mon, to bed you go. Here, pat pat. ♪

Natsume: HeY... Don’t treat me like a chiLD.

Tsumugi: I’m not treating you like a child. I’m treating you like a patient.

Natsume: …A patieNT…

Tsumugi: Yep. I’ve prepared a damp towel, so I want you to keep it on your forehead. Also, I’ll leave a large pitcher of water at your bedside too, so please drink frequently.

However, we will need your strength, Natsume-kun. Try to rest up and get well soon, okay?

Natsume: ...SiGH. GotcHA. Being stubborn won’t do anything heRE.

Tsumugi: That’s right. Good boy. ♪

Now then, Natsume-kun won’t be able to rest properly if we converse in here, so let’s go elsewhere. Is that alright, Sora-kun?

Sora: HeHe~, of course it is. Sora wants Shisho~ to rest super well!

Tsumugi: We’ll be heading out then, Natsume-kun. Don’t hesitate to contact me if you need anything.

Sora: Sora’s heading out, Shisho~! Rest well, okay~?

Natsume: ......—

Sora: …Ah.

(Just now, Shisho mumbled "This is why I hate summER" quietly…?)

(He didn’t mean Sora to hear, but he has good ears, so he could~…)

(Sora had thought Shisho~ didn’t like the sea because he couldn’t swim… But…)

(Does Shisho~ hate summer? Is it not fun during the summer?)

(If… Shisho~ doesn’t enjoy it at all, then that’d be super sad~…?)

(Sora loves the summer.)

(Because, "summer" is part of Shisho~’s name~! The Shisho~ season is Sora’s favorite!)

(But even so, it’s sad that Shisho~ hates summer…)

Tsumugi: ? Sora-kun, what is it? Is something holding you up?

Sora: Ah! Nuh-uh, it’s nothing~! Sora’s coming!

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[kuruparlayan]

Adonis' origins and immigration.

note : Adonis' origins are purposefully blurry in the narrative, and so will I be, but making it as precise as I can. Given the canon facts we are given, Adonis most likely falls under the exotic prince from small foreign country you never heard about romantic trope, both to avoid too direct sociopolitical commentary and due to the trope's popularity in Japan. tw; heavy sociopolitical subjects referred

When his origins were leaked despite the danger attached, Japanese media rumored Adonis as a foreign prince / the son of a King. Those labels are not exactly true, as the Middle East does not have those titles for aristocracy, and the empiric monarchy was overthrown to turn its inner countries into republics. They do not exist in this day and age.

Adonis' country is in Anatolia, which is continental portion of middle east and western asia with a very tumultuous history of empiric wars constantly reinventing its borders and influencial powers, is thus a republic. And as its "prince", Adonis is the son of the principality's Emir, which in this case means the emirate's political leader.

With stories named such as 1001 Arabian Nights, but a name like Adonis being Turkish, it is a problematic in the writing of putting other asian countries outside of East Asia as a monolith. For intent and purpose, Adonis comes from Arab ancestry.

Unfortunately, due to a tragic history of genocide to the indigenous populations and raging wars between empires, the country finds itself in disarray. However, its modern day largest issue is attempting to heal from the, not scars, but open wounds from the world's powerful nation manipulating the political scene to keep the region in poverty so labor and resource exploitation is easier for them.

As an indigenous leader, Adonis' father is the head of the current reigning party attempting to introduce socialist systems in the country to focus on helping its local indigenous residents while combating the extreme conflicts on the public front and behind the scenes, making it an uphill battle. This explains why, despite Adonis' family holding a prestigious and powerful title, he grew up in extreme poverty. Having to fight his sisters to have a share of food, going hungry for a long while and not having a lot of luxuries in life.

Adonis' father's occupation had him lead an incredibly difficult life out of the love of his country and the wish for his children to grow in a better environment. Adonis has always seen it as a noble, humble and especially brave way of life which he greatly admires as his own morals show : to Adonis, his father is not a king, a monarch, a noble, he is only a loving guardian who loves his people and dedicate his life to protect.

Sadly, his position of power made it so, behind the scenes, Adonis' whole family had a target behind their back, with governments of nations of privileged power wishing to put their own totalitarian, manipulated leadership through underhanded means such as weaponizing terrorist groups, blackmail, corruption or assassination.

As someone related to the Emir, Rei Sakuma naturally came in contact with Adonis while consulting doctors and professors in search of a cure for he and his brother's illness. As thanks for helping him and offering him warm hospitality, Rei accepted the request to help Adonis, the younger child of the Otogari, to move to Japan through the Sakuma family's monetary and sociopolitical resources.

Adonis was specifically requested as the little brother his sisters wished to protect ; as they were adult women, when the Otogari saw the opportunity to move one family member to safety, Adonis was chosen without him knowing at first. They later were able to move to Japan after having fought on their own.

Despite the opportunities and nepotism, gaining Japanese citizenship turned out to be very difficult for Adonis' family. Although their mother had citizenship, they were born elsewhere, and as she was out in the frontline to protect the country and her family, she was not physically present in Japan to go through the systemic channels.

Discrimination and oppression unfortunately played a large part in the systemic difficulties, which is why Adonis is so grateful to simply be alive and be able to live in Japan : it was a harrowing journey from beginning to end. Adonis and his sisters' last name is even their mother's due to their parents hoping it would help them move to Japan in safety.

As mentioned before, Adonis is a very innocent, composed and non-confrontational individual, aiming for peace in present and future for all. Therefore, his pure heart is not the type to complain about the negative, but show compassion to difficulties when presented to him or mentioned : a very important distinction.

Adonis will not talk about the difficulties in his life, not grasping how heavy the weight of his life since he was born had been ; in his mind, this is his business and nothing he should burden people with ...

[amadryades]

had to follow your blog because of the beautiful photography and your positive energy! i also had a question- i’m traveling to portugal and morocco this summer and i was wondering if you have any recommendations or tips? thanks 💕

Thank you for your sweet words, you made me smile 🌸 for Portugal I don't have much to say as I've only been to Lisbon for 4 days and to  Porto for 24 hours, just be prepared to walk, eat all the pasteis de nata (Manteigaria!) and make some time to visit the castles of Sintra as well as the numerous independent bookstores of the capital- I fell in love with livraria Sá Da Costa. The Alfama district and the castle of Saint George are some of the most majestic spots of the city.

As for Morocco, prefer bright and flowy garments, over shorts, don´t forget your  a hat and  sunscreen. Do not drink or brush your teeth with tap water, - it´s potable but you´re problably not accustomed to its bacteria and my friends suffered some unpleasant complications from it. I don´t know your budget or accomodation of choice but for me, put luxurious riads and restaurants aside for a while and explore the old cities. If you take a taxi make sure that the counter is on before the driver starts and agree on the price before embarking, and never follow anyone who isn´t a registered tour guide. Those guidelines aren´t specific for Morocco, I think they are common sense advice for any travel abroad. Practicalities aside, visiting the bazaars and getting lost inside the medina of each city is a must, as it is to negotiate the price with merchants- it sounds overwhelming but it´s great fun (to my pleasure I still was their victim, but my magpie brain couldn´t resist). If you´re not already planning to go to the desert please do! I was hesitant at the beginning and thought that the whole thing would be overly performative and touristic, which it is, but you´ll experience  landscapes  beyond your imagination and pass through tiny villages that, for me, are worth all the travel. If you are muslim you´ll be able to visit the inside of mosques, not being able to do as a non-muslim was my biggest regret but there are many madrasas to compensate you. The food is divine and really one of the attractions itself so please don´t be that tourist who looks for pizza or pasta in the old city! Overall it´s a once in a lifetime travel for me, Moroccans are extremely helpful and on many occasions went out and beyond their way to help us,  and also admirably polyglot! Like everywhere in the world, you have to be mindful of tourist traps and scams, maybe a little more since you´re outside of your western comfort zone. From what I observed among other tourists, the more culturally prepared and free from judgement you are, the more you will enjoy the country; by that I mean having a general idea of the cultural and moral norms -whether you internally agree or not is trivial, you are a guest and freely decided to enter the country so by definition you have to abide- and respect them, without pointing out obvious everyday problems and malfunctions, as if Moroccans don´t already know them. 

I wish you the best of times and you can always contact me if you need specific names and addresses 🌙

[stewartspence82]

Uk Travel Guide: Edinburgh

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