#I’M A VICTIM

[amberrash]

i have never been diddled so hard by an exam before in my life.

JASON, MOVE, ITS MY TURN TO GET HIT BY THE CROWBAR.

EVEN DRINKING LIQUID FEAR GAS WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER THAN THAT.

[darrys-laundry]

one of steve harrington’s favorite films is, ‘the one with the delorean and alex p keaton and he’s trying to bang his mom.’

i said, oh i’m sure. marty mcfly makes people bisexual.

[elleloquently]

going on tumblr dot com to read ellie fanfic and then accidentally getting a crush on the person writing it… yeah you guys get me

[marwhoa]

@tmntxthings booped me almost 500 times

[julezo]

me whenever i have to write an essay: omg i wish i could just take a test. one paragraph response. fill in the blank. true or false OMG ANYTHING BUT THIS HELLISH LANDSCAPE OF LANGUAGE

me whenever i’m sat down taking a test: i…. th—. this. this is it. section one is my first twelve reasons. if you ask me to explain rhetorical devices i’ll report you to your union sir.

[shirleyjacksons]

i only noticed the tear in the teabag once i poured the water in

[overly-hubristic-mad-scientist]

God (my mother) gives the toughest battles (eating food I don’t like) to his bravest soldiers(me)

[jasontoddsguns]

“Boromir apologist” he doesn’t have anything to apologize for????? He fell victim to evil ringTM like once. and then immediately redeemed himself. Guys come on.

[zomgcaleb]

NSFW— minors do not interact

cw— creampie

thinking abt Caleb’s big dick </3

you want to blame it on him, say it’s his fault and swear that he does it on purpose. but you know he’s not. he can’t help it that he’s so deliciously hung.

somehow he manages to tuck it into his pants in just the right way that leaves you wondering, but behind closed doors when the day is said and done it’s like he sets it loose. he walks around in his boxers or a baggy pair of pj pants, ones that barely contain the sizable bulge that tents under his waistband.

he’s not trying to seduce you but it works all the same.

you almost feel bad when he catches you ogling him. those pretty purple puppy dog eyes gaze down at you with a sinful innocence that makes you huff.

it’s thick and heavy. so so heavy it makes you drool just thinking about the feeling of it in your hands. it stands tall and proud and so pathetically hard for you. it’s pretty. so pretty in the way it seems to challenge you when it twitches and bobs for your attention.

he knows it’s big but he doesn’t know it’s big. he’s just been hauling it around with him all this time not knowing how full it’d make you. how you cry and push your palm against his abs as he humps in and out of you.

“too much too much!” you’d slur into the sheets and he wouldn’t know what to do. is his dick not supposed to be this big?? is he hurting you?? is it normal to feel every twitch and clench of your pussy from all sides like he is right now?? because it’s making him lose his damn mind.

“are you okay? d-does it hurt?” his voice is light but rough as if it was ripped from his diaphragm. the fingers that hold your waist tighten and dip into your skin as he forces himself to slow down.

you pant absentmindedly in response. your core burns violently in the best way possible. Caleb hits every spot all at once and each thrust stretches you out so good. his cock head kisses your g spot so firmly yet so tender, sending you spiraling into a filthy mess. he’s not even going as hard as you told him to and you’re about to cum all over him anyway.

“pips.” he calls. the bed dips beside your head as he leans over you, pressing a loving kiss to your temple and nuzzling into your cheek with his nose. your cunt hasn’t stopped trying to suck him in and he whines and whimpers into your neck in feeble resistance.

“i’m here. just—Caleb, you’re so biggg.” you drawl. “you give it to me so good can’t take it.”

he pulls away to look at you and his lips part to speak but the sexiest moan rips from his throat to interrupt him as you rut your hips back into him. his girthy length slides and catches on all the right ridges and you cry in ecstasy.

the coil in his abdomen suddenly snaps and he’s pumping the fattest of loads right into your womb and you feel it in your throat, the addicting heat swirls in your stomach and the gift keeps giving. it starts to spurt and leak, leaving a milky ring around the base of him, some spilling out to stain the sheets. ‘i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry’ his lips brush the shell of your ear as he chants and his chest presses into your back to anchor you.

all you can hear is the deafening squelching of his seed getting fucked into you and his pitchy wails of your name.

no wonder he’s so big. he’s just so full of creamy white love for you can you feel it? you’ll take it all for him right? :(

[misericordieux]

Told my doc about my actual adult problems

He was speechless then proceeded to say “damn it’s bad I don’t know what to say”

[milos-engineering-tactics]

NOPE

[dadfag]

i hate it here

[kittarts]

[goodluckdetective]

If you’re reaction to this Neil Gaiman stuff is to crow how “I always hated his work” or “I knew he had bad vibes” I want you to stop, and understand what I hear, which is “they deserved it”

“But no” you say! That wasn’t what you meant. You just wanted to-

What? Talk about how you always knew better? That you were above falling for the act? That you always knew something was off? You are good enough to know evil when you see it?

Cool. So they were too stupid to know better? That they fell for the act? That they should have known something was off like you? That they weren’t good enough to spot this coming?

“That’s not what I meant! I meant his fans!”

Some of his fans were his victims. So only they deserved it?

“Not his fans who were his victims but his annoying fans-“

That’s what you’re getting from this? That you can finally brag to those annoying fans about how stupid they were for liking his work because…. a monstrous level of abuse happened. Glad you’re enjoying putting those fans in their place with….a bunch of horrific sex crimes.

Anyway, people who are making this about Gaiman’s work or his characters have lost the plot, I agree there. But people making this about how smart they were, how they knew better?

Think about what you’re actually saying and maybe shut the fuck up.

[lotus-pear]

free will is drawing ur two favorite characters together and making them gay

[omgrandomwords]

november 5th’s grandchild