#I’d really rather just treat them as you normally would any other coworkers and keep it cute

[yourqueenb]

I’m honestly really glad that they paywalled interactions with Luke and Ruby this week because I’m just not feeling them, I’m sorry y’all

[alliedbiscuit]

msr fic / s7 post-closure but pre-all things / wc: 3398

Scully takes Maggie out for a birthday dinner, and you'll never guess who they run into.

************

“So, how are feeling about dessert?” the waiter asks hopefully.

Maggie Scully scoffs. “Oh, no. I couldn’t eat another bite. Maybe just a cup of coffee? Decaf, please.”

“Mom, are you sure? You should get dessert,” Dana Scully prods, stopping herself short before she could let it slip, “It’s your birthday!” The last gift her mother would appreciate is a gaggle of underpaid waiters singing some public-domain-compliant version of a birthday song while the whole restaurant turns its attention toward her. Like mother, like daughter.

Well, the daughter made an exception and found that kind of thing charming exactly once. But at least she got a nice keychain out of it. All her mother would get was humiliation and a chocolate lava cake.

As soon as the waiter leaves to fetch their after dinner coffees, Maggie reveals her true intentions.

“I was thinking we could go to that ice cream parlor down the street. If I’m going to indulge, I think I want a hot fudge sundae. Or maybe we could split a banana split?”

“Or you could get a hot fudge sundae and I could get a banana split, and we could split both,” Scully suggests.

“See, that’s why you work for the FBI.”

“Dessert Conflict Resolution was part of my training at Quantico.”

Both Scullys giggle.

“Does Fox have the same specialty? Or is that what you bring to the team?”

“Mulder’s dessert strategy is just to eat everything and then swim a mile and run five the next day. No, he’s a Takeout Menu Marksman, though. He knows where to order from and what to order so it travels the best and doesn’t get cold and congealed by the time it arrives. Might sound like a trivial skill, but it’s a lifesaver on movie night.”

Maggie continues smiling but cocks her head slightly. Dana realizes why almost instantly.

“You have movie night?”

“It’s not a set thing or anything. We just…if we’re not busy with a case.”

“You just watch movies? As coworkers?”

“As friends.”

“Just friends?”

Dana lets out a long sigh as she stares her mother down. Her mother, maintaining that gentle yet challenging grin. Dana considers her response carefully. She could offer a simple yes because that is the fact of the matter. They are just friends. She could criticize the wording choice. “Just” friends? Why does it have to be “just” friends? As if friendship isn’t somehow enough or isn’t valuable?

She could realize it’s her mother’s birthday and she’s the only other Scully woman left to confide in about matters of the heart, and although she doesn’t want to bring up the New Year’s kiss because she still doesn’t really know what it meant, maybe they both need this little gift of honesty, filled with tempered excitement and promise.

“For now,” Dana Scully finally admits.

Maggie’s grin grows as Scully just shakes her head and manages to keep her slight eye roll from reaching embarrassed teenager level. The waiter does bail her out a bit by choosing that moment to deliver their coffees.

“How is Fox doing? After his mother…” Maggie trails off, but her daughter knows not to expect any more specifics.

“Better? I mean, as well as can be expected. The thing is, right after that, he found out some more about his sister. About what happened to her. It was just so much all at once. I was really worried…”

Maggie reaches across the table to lay a hand on hers.

“But, it was almost like he was ready for it. He finally had some answers. Like it brought him some peace.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Yeah. He needed that.”

“We all do.”

*************

Maggie is the one to spot him first as they’re heading for the door.

“Is that- is that Fox?” she asks her daughter.

“What? No, he wouldn't…” Dana trails off as she looks straight ahead to where her mother was indicating and confirms that it is indeed Fox Mulder, standing with his hands in his pockets and his eyes trained to the floor as he appears to be waiting near the vestibule for the restrooms.

“Mulder?” Scully questions as she approaches, her voice giving away her confusion and growing concern.

His head darts up in surprise, but a beaming smile of recognition quickly overtakes his face.

“Hey, Scully! Mrs. Scully, it’s so nice to see you!”

“You too, Fox,” Maggie kindly replies, although a quick glance to her daughter confirms her suspicion that Dana is still very confused by his presence.

“Did you…did you need something?” She suddenly feels silly for presuming that he must have come there with urgent news or a case or something, but why else would Fox Mulder be at Petrino’s on a Saturday night? Did his informants trade in clandestine meetings in parking garages for family-style Italian?

“Hmm?” Mulder asks.

“You didn’t come here to find me? I told you I was bringing my mom here for her birthday, didn’t I?” He didn’t look like he had rushed to the restaurant from the office or his apartment as she had originally assumed. He had clearly shaved and combed his hair nicely. He wore an olive green sweater with dark blue jeans and a black wool pea coat rather than his leather jacket. He had definitely made an effort.

“You did, but I thought you were going out tomorrow night on her actual birthday. Happy birthday, by the way, Mrs. Scully.”

“Thank you, Fox. I’m going to have lunch with some ladies from church after mass tomorrow, so I asked Dana if we could do Saturday night instead.”

“Ah. What a weird coincidence then. I can’t believe we didn’t see you at all during dinner.”

We.

Oh God.

Mulder was on a date.

Mulder was on a date in this restaurant on the night he thought Scully wasn’t going to be there. Mulder was on a date right after Scully had confessed to her mother (and herself) that their “just friends” status was in the process of changing. Mulder was on a date right after he’d been through so much pain but seemed to come out lighter and more open and he wanted to share it with someone…who wasn’t Dana Scully.

“So, you’ve already eaten then?” Maggie asks since her daughter appears unable to form a coherent statement at the moment.

“Yeah, we just finished. I’m just waiting for her…” he seems to trail off just to motion towards the restroom rather than say anything indelicate, but then he notices Maggie’s poorly masked look of concern toward Dana, and then he notices Dana’s completely unmasked look of shock.

And then he gets it.

“Oh, no! It’s not…I want you to meet her,” Mulder insists as he grabs a hold of both of Scully’s elbows and then glances anxiously toward the restroom door.

Dana Scully looks like she might be ill.

Thankfully Mulder only stammers a moment longer until the restroom door opens and he finds reprieve when a tall, thin woman appearing to be in her mid-60s walks through the door.

“Aunt Helen,” Mulder calls.

Somehow Scully’s eyes manage to get even wider as some of the color returns to her face.

“Aunt Helen, there are a few people I’d really like you to meet. This is my partner, Dana Scully, and this is her mother, Margaret Scully.”

Aunt Helen smiles widely in recognition, first shaking Maggie’s hand and then Dana’s. “It is such a pleasure to meet you both. I’ve heard such wonderful things.”

She lingers with her hand holding Dana’s while she says this, and the younger Scully is left blushing. She hazards a look at Mulder, but he doesn’t look embarrassed by this revelation. He holds her gaze with nothing but pride.

“This is my aunt, Helen Briggs. She’s my mom’s sister. She’s visiting for the weekend from Charlotte.”

They all kind of marvel over the fact that they were in the same restaurant and what a coincidence and oh, we were seated near the back bar, that must be why we didn’t see you and Scully is just starting to feel her pulse return to normal as Aunt Helen laments not having a chance to talk with the Scullys.

“Well, Dana and I skipped dessert so we could go to The Big Dipper for some ice cream. Would you two like to join us?”

“Oh, that would be lovely. As long as we’re not intruding,” says Aunt Helen.

“Not at all,” Scully assures her. “There is one catch, though.”

“It’s not real ice cream. It’s that Tofutti nonsense, isn’t it?” Mulder groans.

“It better not be,” Maggie insists. “I don’t know how she eats that stuff.”

Scully ignores her mother and her partner’s bad mouthing of her frozen treats as she returns her attention to Aunt Helen.

“I’m afraid if you want to come along, you will have to reveal a few good Young Mulder stories. And by ‘a few,’ I mean as many as you’ve got. And by ‘good,’ I mean the more embarrassing the better.”

“I’ll start thinking now,” Aunt Helen laughs.

“I knew I should’ve picked a different restaurant,” Mulder says regretfully.

***********

They’ve just sat down to a small, round table for four with their ice cream when Mulder stands up to get them all more napkins, and Aunt Helen retrieves a small, rectangular piece of paper from her purse that she then deftly slides to Dana.

“Oh my god!” Scully exclaims with joy.

Staring back at her from the paper is a very young Fox Mulder. She guesses he must be around 8 or 9 in the school photo. His long, sandy brown hair falls just above his eyebrows. He doesn’t have his distinctive nose yet, but his bottom lip is already a little pouty. The real give away is the eyes. He’s grinning for the camera, but his eyes still have that soulfulness, that slight sadness.

She’s surprised. She knows she shouldn’t be. His eyes didn’t suddenly change when Samantha was taken. His eyes were probably always like that.

But she had always assumed that the great tragedy had flipped a switch for Young Fox Mulder. That before that single event, he had certainly been a perfectly happy child. Funny and athletic, popular for sure. But the humor developed as a defense mechanism later in life. And the sports were a great physical release as well as an excuse to be out of the house as much as possible. She didn’t actually know what he was like before, but now that she thought about it, home life was probably never all that great if it eventually led to a father sacrificing one child and leaving the other to always live with the guilt and loss.

It was very possible that Fox Mulder had always been a little boy with a lot on his mind.

In contrast, present day, adult Fox Mulder looks like he doesn’t have a care in the world as he returns with extra napkins, ready to tuck into his chocolate peanut butter ice cream in a waffle cone – that is until he realizes what his friend and partner Dana Scully is looking at.

“Oh come on. I was gone for thirty seconds, and you have the visual aids out.”

Scully continues to beam as Maggie finally gets a glimpse of the photo in her hand.

“Oh, Fox!”

“Okay,” Mulder said exasperatedly. “Does this meet your embarrassment quota?” he asks, looking pointedly at Scully.

“Not even close! This isn’t embarrassing. It’s adorable!”

Mulder rolls his eyes but can’t hide his bashful grin at her comment.

“It’s only fair, Fox. I know you’ve seen family photos of Dana at my house,” Mrs. Scully says, sounding like a mother well practiced in settling disputes between children.

“Just a couple. I do like that high school graduation picture, though. I still don’t know how you kept your cap on with all that hair.”

“That was the style back then. Everybody teased their hair and used a ton of hairspray.”

“I thought it might be a religious thing at Catholic school. The higher the hair, the closer to God,” Mulder teases.

Maggie and Aunt Helen chuckle, though the latter gives him a good-natured swat on the arm in admonishment.

“See, this is what I need, though. I need something from the teen years. That’s peak embarrassment fodder,” Scully says.

“If you ask our colleagues, I think my peak embarrassment fodder would come from about 1991 to present,” Mulder points out.

Aunt Helen just looks slightly regretful. “I’m afraid I don’t have many stories from those years, Dana.”

Mulder makes eye contact with Aunt Helen. “You didn’t miss much,” he insists. She looks like she wants to debate him, but he just places a hand on hers reassuringly, and they seem to make a silent agreement to not argue the point any further.

Mulder had never really mentioned any other family before. She knew his grandparents had all passed before she met him, but she had assumed, just like with everything else, that any other extended family connections had disappeared along with Samantha. That no one would know how to comfort and console The Mulders in a situation like that, with no explanation.

His aunts and uncles must have had questions, probably even had their own theories. Did his mother’s side suspect his father’s involvement, or did his father’s side blame his mother somehow? Did any of them blame…no, she couldn’t go down that route. Besides, did anyone ever suspect horrific things like that before the days of cable news and supermarket tabloids?

The point is, it was a tense situation, so Scully assumed they had all done what wealthy white people in places like Martha’s Vineyard and Boston and Raleigh did with any uncomfortable subject – they avoided it completely.

And that meant avoiding the little boy with a lot on his mind as he became a teenager with even more on his mind.

Scully had accompanied Mulder to a small burial service for his mother in Raleigh a few months ago. It was just the service. No gathering or dinner after, or at least not one that Mulder told her about. The attendees at the service were all pretty spread out, not much mingling. Again, it was another sudden loss shrouded in mystery. They all avoided particulars as much as they could.

Scully didn’t remember seeing Aunt Helen that day, but maybe she was there and just couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Maybe she wasn’t there because she couldn’t bring herself to go and then regretted it. Dana Scully didn’t know, and it didn’t actually matter. The point is that she’s here now. And that’s exactly what Mulder’s look of reassurance and acceptance seems to say.

It seems to help her perk up because she offers playfully, “Oh, what about that summer on Quonochontaug? I think you were 9 or so, and you were collecting leaves for one of your Indian Guide badges.”

“Oh god!”

“I’m hooked already. Not to jump ahead, but please tell me there’s poison ivy involved,” Scully says gleefully.

Aunt Helen’s bark of laughter and Mulder’s exaggerated eye roll are all the confirmation she needs.

“It was heavily involved! But that’s not the worst part. While he was working on his Leaf Collecting badge, he also earned credit towards his Wildlife badge when he came across a skunk in the woods.”

“No!” Scully shouts.

“Ivyed and skunked at the same time,” Mulder admits.

“Oh you poor thing,” Maggie adds sympathetically, but with barely contained laughter.

“He had to jump right from a tomato juice bath for the skunk smell…”

“Which didn’t work!”

“…into an oatmeal bath for the itching.”

“Which worked better, but I still smelled like a Grateful Dead concert.”

Both Scullys are full on giggling at this point.

“Do you remember what Grandpa Ralph said when he walked in and saw you and mom dunking me in a tub of oatmeal?” Mulder asks.

Aunt Helen pitches her voice deeper and amps up her Southern twang, “Why don’t cha dip him in some egg and flour next? We toss him in the frying pan, we got supper! We’re havin’ Fried Fox tonight!”

Now they’re all in hysterics. Even the man who usually hates his given name can’t help but laugh along, especially when it makes his lovely company so happy.

*****************

Scully enters the basement office Monday morning to find Mulder already there, flipping through an open drawer in the filing cabinet.

“Good morning,” she says cheerfully.

He looks up and smiles. “Good morning. Long time no see.”

“How was the rest of your weekend? Did you guys do any sightseeing or anything?”

“No, we just had a late breakfast yesterday before I took her to the airport, but it was good to catch up some more. She told me to thank you again for letting us tag along for ice cream. It was really nice.”

“It was,” Scully agrees.

Mulder appears to be considering something for a moment before he crosses over to the desk and picks up a small envelope.

“She also told me to give this to you,” he says almost bashfully, extending the envelope in Scully’s direction. “She told me I couldn’t look inside, and I didn’t. But I think I know what’s in there, and if I’m right, you don’t have to keep it. You can just leave it here on the desk.”

Well, now she’s intrigued. Scully opens the envelope to find a small handwritten note at the top.

“I thought you might like these. I have plenty more too, if you’d ever like to see them or want any more stories. Please don’t be a stranger.”

Scully lifts up the note to see the remaining contents inside and finds a small stack of photographs, a mixture of more school photos along with a few wallet-sized family portraits and a couple candids taken on the beaches of the Vineyard or Rhode Island, she can’t tell. But she sees the same set of eyes in all of them.

She looks back to read the rest of the note.

“I’m so glad I got to meet you, Dana. Take care!”

Below Aunt Helen’s elegant signature, she has also written her home address and phone number. Scully will have to call and thank her.

“She tried to give some to me,” Mulder explains, “but I didn’t really want…and like I said, you don’t have to…”

“No, I’d like to keep them,” Dana insists.

Mulder lets her statement hang in the air for a moment, but he can’t help but diffuse it.

“You just want more blackmail material.”

“Something like that,” Scully says teasingly, but there’s no bite behind it.

“I knew I should’ve picked a different restaurant.”

She chuckles lightly as she shuffles the photos into a neat stack to place back in the envelope, thinking that this is the point where they get back to work. Mulder stays standing in front of her and appears to be considering something again. Does he have another envelope that he’s afraid to give her?

“You know it was pure luck that we ended up at Petrino’s the same night as you. I actually gave Aunt Helen a few options and let her choose. I was pushing more for that Thai place in Arlington, just off Old Dominion. The one that’s been there forever,” Mulder explains.

“Oh, the one with the secret menu? I’ve still never been there. Can’t say I’m surprised that Aunt Helen wasn’t up for Thai food, though.”

“Yeah. Fair point,” Mulder nods for a moment too long before continuing. “Would you like to go there sometime? Like this Saturday? With me?”

Scully slowly looks up from the envelope to see Mulder’s face because in all matters, other than the divine, Dana Scully needs to see to believe. And the slightly nervous yet gentle grin that she finds allows her to believe it to be true – Fox Mulder has just asked her out on a real date.

“I would like that,” Scully says gently.

“Good. You wanna say 7:30? Or we can always figure out time later,” Mulder states, aiming for practicality to keep him from grinning like a complete idiot. He ends up grinning like a moderate idiot, but he’s okay with that.

“Sounds good.”

Yep, Scully will definitely have to call Aunt Helen and thank her.

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 1

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff WordCount | 3.6 K Author'sNote | lmaoooo the fact that I intended this to be a oneshot type of thing oops. Wellllll, I tried. Most likely to be a two part series, but we'll see.

This is part of a series I intend to call "If Songs were Fics" and this particular one was loosely inspired by TXT's Anti-Romantic bc I'm obsessed. I hope you enjoy reading as much I enjoyed writing it!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

I don't know who loves me

And I don't care, It's a waste anyways

A romantic feeling, Kinda scares me

“Any plans for you birthday next week?”

Jaehyun shakes his head at you, “no, not yet, don’t you have that date with that barista?”

“I’m not sure, he’s been acting weird over text lately. Might not be worth it,” you shrug your shoulders. “Besides, it’s your birthday! You only get one of those a year, we should plan something.”

You were on your way to the gym, a ritual you and Jaehyun had ever since you both found out you worked for the same company. You had been childhood friends, but ended up losing touch since you went to separate universities.

It was a nice surprise to see a friendly face on the first day of orientation and throughout the duration of your training for the next six weeks. Although you were both from different departments, you enjoyed taking your lunch breaks together and sharing small gossip about your old class-mates.

“ugh, don’t remind me,” he let’s out a long sigh, “every year, it seems like my family won’t stop pestering me about starting a family.”

“What’s so wrong about that?”

“Nothing, just not for me. Or at least not yet. I don’t think I’m the type to settle down,” he shrugs again as if it were no big deal.

You gasp, “how could you say that? I’ve seen your insta account. It’s got your cousin’s kids all over it!” You stop to take a good look at him as he holds the door of the gym open for you. “Back in school too, you used to tutor those elementary kids for volunteering hours. Even when you didn’t need them. You’ve always liked kids.”

“That’s different…”

“Right. Totally different things. Got it,” you roll your eyes. This wasn’t the first time he mentioned not wanting to settle down. At first, you had thought it was because he liked ‘keeping his options open’ like back in high-school. Or, not that you knew for sure, but if the rumors were true then it meant he slept his way around. Apparently, he never slept with someone twice and despite the cold shoulder the other party would get, all you had ever heard were praises. Not that you paid that much attention or anything.

You and Jaehyun had the same circle of friends, but despite that, he had never made any advances towards you. You’d be lying if that didn’t bother you at least once or twice. You just assumed that he didn’t want to make the friendship awkward or mess with the friend dynamics of your group. Which was why your crush on him in junior high ended as soon as you got to high-school.

You ended up going on dates with other people, but nothing that kept your interest. Nothing that compared to how you felt around him. Not that he seemed to think the same, so you tried your best to stay the good friend you always have been. You didn’t want to push something he clearly didn’t want; not that it didn’t hurt any less. Throughout the years it’s become bearable, at least. Almost like a painful habit.

You check in and head to the locker rooms to change. His nonchalance about the subject had always puzzled you. You’d seen first hand how all the female coworkers seemed to sway their hips as they walked by him, how some would pop a blouse button more than usual when around him, and you swore no one else was getting that much help throughout training more than him. He was handsome and a gentleman, that much was painfully obvious.

You meet him outside by the water fountain, “ready for warm-up?” he guides your way to the treadmills.

“When’s the last time you dated?”

You would have laughed if you weren’t so shocked to see him trip from the corner of your eye. “why the sudden curiosity?” He finally responds.

“Not sudden, I’d always wondered.” You defended. “You’re good looking and you’re very…I mean, you live on your own and have your own car. You have good relations with your family AND you’re good with kids. So, what is it?” You hadn’t realized how troubling you thought it all was. But now that you started digging you couldn’t stop.

“I just—” you pause, “it doesn’t make sense.”

You hear him chuckle, “you might wanna slow down before you pull something.” You look down and realize that your pace had gone from a relaxed jog to a borderline run during your rant. Maybe this wasn’t the best time to psychoanalyze your only friend in the city.

“Well, I just don’t know how to let people in. It’s just that.” He finally responds. “I love kids, but I don’t know or think I’d be a good partner.” He slows down before stopping, ending the conversation. He waves you off with an easy smile as you stay running.

Huh, maybe you pushed him too far. Your eyes can’t help but follow him around the gym.

Sweet and bitter chocolate, The taste at the end is always the same

Like the saddest movies, Only tears in my eyes

Your hands were sweaty the entire morning, anticipating your lunch time. It was his birthday today, and while you hadn’t made any concrete plans you ended up agreeing to go over to his place after work. Your gym bag was ready with snacks and comfy clothes to stay over. You remembered him saying he was excited to watch that new Marvel movie that had recently come out so you had bought it online to stream it at his place as a surprise. But what had you nervous was the small heart shaped box sitting in your purse. You didn’t know what possessed you to buy it but you had immediately thought of Jae when you passed by it at the mall. You remember vaguely mentioning that it was a special occasion to the sales lady (as in, his birthday), but she must have thought it was your significant other rather than friend because she changed the box to the red velvet shaped one while giving you a wink. In her defense, you could have protested but…why didn’t you?

You hear a knock on your door, “hey little miss sunshine.” Ah, Nakamoto, this couldn’t be good news. He was only sickly sweet to you when he needed a favor.

“What do you want?” you deadpan. He only laughs as he makes himself comfortable in your office. “Well, nothing in particular. Can’t stop by and see how you’re doing?” he feigns hurt.

“Right—the last time you ‘came by’ you left me working over-time through the weekend,” You sigh, “so what is it this time? Missed meeting? Late proposal?” To be fair, your supervisor WAS overworked sometimes. And since you were the only worker under him, it was normal for him to sometimes share some of the load with you.

He smiles at you, “nope. Just have a proposal for you. I know you’ve been working hard these past few months and I’ve been really impressed by your work ethic.” He stands and moves closer to your desk, “And I thought some sort of reward was in order, as well as celebration.” Ok, now you’re confused. You were ok with the reward part, it usually came in the form of a gift card to your favorite coffee shop, but celebration?

“Why would we celebrate? Did I miss something?”

“Not yet, but I did recommend you to the partner position with me. And I wanted to be the first to tell you that the boss approved it earlier today. So, what do ya say? Dinner on me?” he extends his hand out to you and wiggles his eyebrows playfully.

Oh.

Shit! You were hoping this would happen eventually, moving up from the entry-level position you had. But you had never thought it would be this fast. “Oh my gosh, are you serious?” You give him your hand and he shakes it in mock salute.

“Of course, some people will come by to move your computer to the office next to mine. You start Monday!” he winks, “So, wanna go to that new rooftop restaurant? This is a once in a life-time ticket, so you best say yes.”

But your dinner with Jae…He’ll understand, right? He has to. It’s not like he seemed that excited about it anyway. And you could always spend the day together tomorrow, too. It would be pretty rude to turn down Yuta after he pulled some strings for you…

You smile at him, “Thank you Mr. Nakamoto, I won’t let you down as a partner. Yeah, dinner sounds great. Wanna meet there?”

You sit down on the small table, now nervous for other reasons.

Jae sits opposite of you, a small smile on his face. “Hey you,” he greets.

“hey…” you start, “I hate to change plans so suddenly, but…” crap, you feel really shitty. But you really were between a rock and a hard place.

“everything ok?”

“yeah, no. I actually just got promoted,” you start.

“You did? That’s awesome! So fast, too. Wow—but shouldn’t you be more enthusiastic about it?” he chuckles.

“I am, just—my old supervisor wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. And I don’t think I could say no after helping me out like that.”

“I mean, did you want to skip it or?” Now he’s confused.

“Well, he wanted to go out tonight since I start Monday and today’s Friday…I don’t think I can come over tonight,” you explain.

Realization crosses his features before he gives a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, you’re fine. And he’s treating you! You don’t know when the next time he offers might be,” he continues, “we can celebrate another day anyway.”

“Are you sure?” now you feel like shit.

“Of course I’m sure.”

For the rest of the lunch, a thick silence settles before he excuses himself back to work.

Jaehyun knew this was coming. Nothing ever went his way; it’s why he kept everyone at a distance from his heart. But he was weak when it came to you. This game of push and pull was bound to keep happening, and it only brought him that all familiar foul taste in his mouth.

I know, that sweet love song, Those words of promise

When you turn around, It's just an unfamiliar someone

It was why he decided to go else-where for university, instead of joining you and some of your friends to the one closest to home. He chose to go across the globe—far, far away from the curse of you.

It had started on a windy day, back when you were 4 and new to the town he grew up in. Jaehyun didn’t want to leave his mother’s arms, he didn’t like the thought of being with strangers until later in the day even if his mom promised that she would be back. A little girl with jean overalls like his came up to him and his mom, “why are you crying?”

“I am not!” he sniffed. He didn’t need to make new friends like his mom was trying to tell him. All he needed was to go back home. You took out something from your pocket and showed it to him, “look, my mom said I could give one to my first friend. She said it was sharing. Want one?”

In her little palm, were two kiss chocolates. “You’re not my friend,” he grumbled, “I don’t know your name.” At that, you giggled, “I’m Y/N!” you took his hand and placed a chocolate there, “there, now we’re officially friends.”

“See, Jae? You can spend some time with Y/N and have fun. Before you know it, I’ll be back,” she promised.

“Yeah, Jae! Come play blocks with me, and then we can try the coloring.” You held his hand as you led him deeper into the classroom. Just like that, Jae began to feel a little warmth in his chest. He didn’t mind that his favorite thing to do was play tag outside or that he wasn’t really good at coloring inside lines yet. But that didn’t matter to him. As long as he had this one friend around, he was content.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I want to run far away

My heart that already chases after you, Blazes up as a small flame

Looking back at it now, it was a little funny. All it took to let you in back then was a simple chocolate kiss and your little sticky hand in his leading the way. You were always larger than life to him, sometimes he forgot that you were just as human as him.

As you two continued to grow, nothing seemed to change your friendship. But he knew that the depth of his feelings wasn’t mutual. It was in the way that you brought a lot different people together and decided to call it your family. Another of your friends, Jungwoo, liked to joke that you collected introverts for fun. To Jaehyun, it was more likely that you just didn’t see the fun in leaving people out. You were charming and passionate. Traits he wished he had. Your empathetic nature and gentle disposition were all that Jaehyun needed, even if he wasn’t the only recipient.

Once you guys started to hit puberty, things started to feel rocky. Jaehyun couldn’t help but physically distance himself from you, his ears were always red-hot. You had always been pretty to Jaehyun, but you were starting to become really beautiful. And if the boy’s locker rooms’ talk were anything to go by, then other people were definitely starting to realize “what a great catch” you were.

It really pissed him off. Who were they to say things as if all you were was a piece of meat? It disgusted him. But what disgusted him more was the fact that sometimes, he couldn’t help but also feel the way your body felt in his when you hugged in greeting. He hated the way his body reacted to everything you did.

He first messed around with a senior girl back when he was a sophomore, Sooyoung. She was leaving and he couldn’t take it anymore. Your boyfriend was a piece of trash and he was tired of hearing the way he would share what Jae considered to be intimate moments that had no business being public. But you seemed so happy… that next game, Jae stole the ball from him and scored on his own. Even if it cost him a three hour lecture from the coach, he would do it again. Fuck being a team, that guy was an asshole.

What he hadn’t planned on was liking messing around. He would never admit it, but the reason he couldn’t commit was because he couldn’t get rid of that small grain of hope that glowed in his chest every time you stared at him longer than would be deemed normal. It wasn’t often, but he knew he wasn’t seeing things. So, he succumbed to the cycle of push-and-pull that you guys had going on.

Jaehyun wasn’t blind, he knew that your work definitely spoke of your professionalism, but he’s also seen the way Nakamoto stared after you. Of the way his hand would often touch your waist when walking together. Even now, as he hears you apologize through the phone again as you get ready for your “date” with him he can’t help this heart feel heavy with anger. Anger at himself, for letting you slip away once more. He usually hopes for nothing but the best for you, but this time, he wishes you had an awful dinner.

Sorry I'm an anti-romantic, I don't believe in romance

I'm afraid that after burning my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes

Throughout the entire dinner, you can’t seem to get Jae out of your mind. It keeps you from enjoying the delicious food, keeps you from keeping your usual banter with Nakamoto.

You’re about to call it a night and thank Nakamoto for inviting you out when he beats you to it, “damn, I was hoping this might be a good break from the usual overtime we do, but something tells me your mind has been elsewhere,” he offers good naturedly, “I know it’s valentine’s, so maybe this is why we feel so awkward, right?”.

You grimace a bit at that, “ah—I’m sorry. I really am grateful for the way you look after me in the company and I’m also thankful for this lovely dinner,” you stop a bit, afraid you might offend him, “I agreed to come out tonight, so no need to feel awkward.” You offer a smile.

“Alright then. I guess you already have your sights on someone?” he prods. Should you be honest? There was no rule against dating outside your department, and you were pretty sure your new boss’s wife also worked within the company. “…I do. But I’m pretty sure they don’t feel the same way. It’s been so long since we’ve known each other. Surely if something were to have happened, it would have by now.” You were loosening up, definitely the wine’s fault.

Nakamoto sighs at that, “damn, and here I thought I could woo you after this,” he winks jokingly but you laugh him off. You knew he didn’t care for you that way. “I really hope you’re talking about the guy you always eat lunch with. I swear everyone thought you guys were married when you were released from training.”

“What?! No, I—we’ve been friends since we were children—”

“Aha! So it was him then,” he smirks. “Good.”

You groan, “Please, no.”

“What, it’s not him? You sure about that?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny that statement,” you groan. Why were you discussing your love life? You push the wine away and take a sip of your water.

“Hmm. That’s too bad. Could have sworn that guy was after you.” He stands up. “But fine, I’ll stop prodding.”

You sigh in relief—“for now.” You groan. “What do you even mean by that? You don’t even know him. Or me, or at least personally at least.”

“Mmm, I don’t have to. Some things you just know. Like how he wishes I was six feet under every time we run across him at work,” he sobers up at that. “He seemed like a cool dude, but his glare isn’t too friendly. I don’t know how you fell for that.”

You scoff, “just because someone has a resting bitch face doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.”

You both make your way to the underground parking. “You’re right, it just makes them unapproachable. Is that why you won’t confess?” His genuine tone rubs you the wrong way, you don’t need be given false hope.

“Stop it, you said you would drop it,” you frown, “Anyways, thank you for the food boss—”

“—not your boss anymore. Just call me Yuta, we’re partners now.”

“Aren’t you two years older than me?”

“And?”

You shrug at that, “well, thanks Yuta. For the food, not for the interrogation.” He chuckles at that, nodding while pulling out his car keys. “see you Monday!” he waves you off.

You sigh as you get home. It wasn’t as late as you thought it was, only a few minutes past nine. You really wanted to see him. Would he be busy?

You fish out your phone and dial his number before chickening out.

“Hello?”

“Jae! It’s me. Are you busy right now?” your heartbeat is pounding so loud, you’re scared he could hear it on the other end. “Right now?” you hear shuffling on the other end, “no, I was just reading that book Jungwoo sent me. Might have dozed off a bit into it but don’t tell him I said that,” he chuckles.

“Why, is everything ok? It’s still early, did you end dinner that fast?”

“Oh, Yuta and I called it a night pretty early. Too many couples were out and about and it got a bit awkward,” you explained.

“Yuta?”

“Ah, yes. Yuta Nakamoto, but now that we’re associates, he said it would be better to address him less formally.” You waive him off, “actually, I was wondering—if it’s not too late, can I still come over? If not, that’s cool. We can still hang out tomorrow, but your birthday is today and I thought—”

He laughs at your rambles, “of course you can come over, you know you don’t have to ask. How many times have I told you that?”

“Ok, ok. Just checking,” you still had your comfy change of clothes in your car, so you opt to save those for tomorrow and change into something causal for tonight.

“Do you want me to go get you? We can get ice cream on the way, hopefully they don’t close early.”

“Sounds like a plan then,” curse your heart for melting at everything he says.

“Alright, give me 15 and I’ll be there.” He hangs up.

You look at your bag, resting on your sofa and you sigh. The entire night, it’s almost as if you could feel the weight of his gift weighing it down. Yuta is known for being very observant, it’s why he was so good at his job. Closing deals and making contracts in advertisement. Would he be right about this? You know you desperately wish he was, but is it worth risking your best friend?

EndNote | Woooow, that was a longass ride. Let me know if you liked it or if there are other typos I missed! Or just to let me know what you thought, that would be much appreciated. I'm thinking of finishing it by Sunday 6/13, so hopefully the next part is up by then. Until then!

Here's Part 2!

[sobdasha]

had a few more thoughts about the Honda family

and all the Souma parallels.

(and by “a few” I apparently meant “a lot”, I did not mean to write this many pages)

In the other post I’d made a comment about how Katsuya’s romance with Kyouko, severe age difference issues aside, is just plain pathetic, a point which I believe to be Upheld by canon. And I wanted to talk more about that, the implications of that, and how that further builds the Akito and Tohru parallel. And also, Why Tohru Can’t Love Her Mom And Kyou At The Same Time.

The ideal, in Fruits Basket, is that when you make a connection with one person who loves you and sees you, this will enable you to make further connections with the people around you. Tohru does a whole heck of a lot of this; for one example, see Yuki explaining this to Kisa in the liking-yourself speech. Yuki does some of this for bitty Haru and later for Machi. Kazuma does this for Kyou. And so on and so forth. The positive experiences are meant to have a ripple effect.

It’s important to be grateful for what you have (Yuki and Machi’s “just one person would be enough” scene), but it’s human to crave more than that (Kyouko telling Saki that it’s probably normal to want other people to accept you even if you already have a loving and supportive family). It is important to crave more than that.

This was, in fact, the entire point of the curse. God meets cat. Cat’s companionship allows god to form connections with other animals. Cat is dying and god decides that 13 friends is the perfect number of friends and starts the reincarnation cycle. Cat says, “god you never once left your house. I wanted to see you go down and make friends with the humans. I wanted to see you experience the world and laugh in the sunlight. God you made 13 new friends but you’re still lonely and closing yourself off to the world forever, this is wrong and I am sad.” The banquets were supposed to be the gateway drug of friendship and meaningful connections, not the place where 14 souls stagnated alone and isolated until it became a curse.

That same wrongness happens in Ren and Akira’s relationship, where finally making a connection with one person who loves you and sees you made their world smaller and smaller. It wasn’t healthy, probably because 1) they remained in a toxic environment, 2) Kureno implies that Ren has mental health issues and I assume those existed prior to Akira’s death and were exacerbated, rather than created by, her grief; also I can’t imagine she actually came from a non-toxic family herself, and 3) Akira’s “you’re going to die an early death and the only thing we need from you first is a successor” trauma. Akira never found anyone other than Ren who understood how upset he was. Ren never formed a relationship with anyone other than Akira, partly because she was now trapped in a toxic family that despised everything about her and she refused to Prove Them Right by leaving. They both viewed their child as an object rather than a person; Akira seeing proof that he and Ren were definitely OTP and the Souma could go shove it, and Ren seeing a Rival.

I have a memory that I said at some point—probably in a Talking About Shigure post—that Kyouko helps Katsuya connect with other people. But this, I think, is not really true. I was thinking of how Kyouko helps bridge the non-relationship between Katsuya and his father. But that’s just one person.

Really, Katsuya and Kyouko are more like Akira and Ren.

Marrying-someone-who-just-graduated-ninth-grade aside, the fact that Katsuya and Kyouko meet is genuinely a good thing. Katsuya finally connects with the humanity in another person. Kyouko is finally cared about as a person. Their misanthropic-jackass-and-abandoned-cat relationship improves both of them, probably. Their connection is definitely the reason Kyouko decides to go to high school and quit her gang. It’s harder to tell with Katsuya, but you could argue that seeing Kyouko struggling and fighting and screaming against the world, as honest about her joy as she is about her loneliness-channeled-into-rage, causes Katsuya to say screw it and pursue the career in pharmacy that he’s interested in, instead of fake-politely submitting to the world’s expectations and internally resenting and disdaining everyone around him.

Katsuya softens in his relationship with his father. Both Katsuya and Kyouko see their child as a person in her own right, Tohru, rather than an object. Katsuya, in fact, is adamant about that fact when Kyouko is terrified of her pregnancy—that they can treat their baby as her own person, and if they aren’t perfect parents and they hurt their child, they’ll apologize—because Tohru is a person and an equal—and admit that what they did was wrong and why it’s wrong. They’ll treat Tohru with the respect they should have gotten all along.

But I don’t think it ever goes any farther than that. Like god, the Honda family becomes more and more isolated.

Does Katsuya make any work friends? We don’t really get a complete view of their lives, because Takaya is one person who can only do so much and space is very precious, so we only see what’s crucial to the story. But I would be really surprised to find that Katsuya had made any close friends outside of Kyouko. I honestly doubt that he has anything more than casual work acquaintances. (In contrast, we repeatedly see Kyou together with the two guys who got names in the anime that I forgot in his class; his friendship with them doesn’t get explored much in the manga, presumably because it doesn’t do any heavy lifting for his character development, but Kyou clearly has casual friends who seek him out and whom he doesn’t mind being with. See also the way Saki and Arisa also interact with those guys as a part of the group, while Tohru really only interacts with Saki and Arisa or the Souma.)

And I don’t think Kyouko fares any better. Does she have any close friends, other than her husband and daughter? Does she make friends at work? I don’t know what kind of work Kyouko does, and if she would have the opportunity to take her breaks socializing with coworkers. But it appears she spends her work breaks in an abandoned area socializing with a first or second grader. Kyou is the only person, as far as we know, that mid-twenties Kyouko can start to open up to. She doesn’t get all the way there—Kyou doesn’t connect the dots until much later—but it’s the closest she comes to talking about how she hurt Tohru after Katsuya died.

Where are the family friends? It doesn’t strike me as weird that the Honda family doesn’t have them, because I have also grown up in a poorly socialized household, but even I am used to running into unfamiliar people in public who explain that they know my mom or dad. I’m pretty sure family friends are a normal thing, and that’s how you get aunts and uncles that aren’t related to you, much in the same way that I’m pretty sure it’s normal to be friends with your cousins (especially if they’re in a similar age range and live nearby) and it is very common for grandparents to bring grandchildren with them to the grocery store because the grandchildren are staying over and they’re having a relationship.

Where is anyone but the Honda family at at Kyouko’s funeral? Kyouko made friends with Arisa and Saki, but did she ever make friends with Saki’s parents? Where are Saki’s loving and supportive mother and father and grandmother when the Honda family is arguing about who has to take on the burden of Tohru? Where are they, if they knew of the bad blood between Kyouko and the Honda family (and the disinheritance between Kyouko and the Katsunuma family), to sweep over Tohru’s protestations and tell her that it will all be fine, they’ll make it work out (they packed up and moved house for Saki, after all), it’s not Tohru’s job to worry about being a burden, it’s the job of people who love her to take care of her?

It can be both “because of the necessity of the plot” and “because they didn’t know.”

Tohru inherits this small, isolated world. And because of the trauma of being abandoned by her grieving, depressed, absolutely-not-coping mother, Tohru picks up on that Souma curse mentality. Tohru’s dad left, and Tohru’s dad tried to take her mom with her, leaving her with no one but Grandpa (who is not intimately part of their world but is not fully outside it either). Tohru’s dad is now a Rival. Tohru’s dad is now an Outsider. Clearly, a bond with an Outsider weakens the True Bond that Tohru had with Kyouko. Clearly, Tohru’s dad is Not Needed (because the other alternative is that Tohru is Not Needed). Clearly, only one of them can have Kyouko.

And it’s going to be Tohru.

Tohru picks up Katsuya’s fake-polite speech, equally disingenuously but from the opposite direction (ie, Katsuya was fake-polite to be an asshole, and Tohru is genuinely polite but faking the words). Tohru is pretty sure this is a form of wicked manipulation (much like Yuki is convinced that “be kind unto others as you would have them be kind unto you” is a form of wicked manipulation). Tohru keeps up with it anyway. Kyouko, as Kyou suggests, was probably comforted by this; rather than going full Akira “you exist to prove that I lived and loved a woman”, seeing Katsuya’s mannerisms in Tohru reminds her that her husband did exist without having to erase Tohru as a person. Kyouko does a lot of growing on her own, but with no support system and no friends outside the family and being fresh-out-of-college age, it’s not surprising that she fails to talk with Tohru about this, and tell Tohru that she knows why Tohru’s doing this, she knows how she hurt Tohru and it was wrong, you don’t have to do this anymore. This is a hurt between them, a grief, that they never talk about, even though they both know it’s there and Kyouko tries to smother it with love and affection and Tohru tries to shut it up in a box of denial.

Tohru’s world is now just Tohru and Kyouko. Tohru doesn’t make any friends until middle school. We know she gets bullied and doesn’t fit in throughout her entire school life. She is a riceball in a fruits basket and probably just manages to scrape by in conformity culture. When she does make her first friends, Arisa and Saki don’t count as Outsiders who compromise Tohru’s bond with her mom because Arisa and Saki are also misfits on the fringe. They are outcasts Tohru can bring into the circle. They are all monsters together, like the cursed Soumas (the only reason no one refers to Akito as a monster to her face, the way they do the rest of the Zodiac, probably has less to do with the fact that Akito doesn’t transform and more to do with the fact that Akito being in a position of power is useful for their own ends, so best not to undermine the head of the family by pointing the whole monster thing out).

And then Tohru’s mom dies.

Tohru isn’t god and she can’t make an eternal banquet. Tohru doesn’t know how to process her grief and how not to fall to pieces. Tohru knows how to empathize with other people, but she doesn’t know how to be vulnerable. Did she remember Kyouko wanting to follow Katsuya, and think about doing the same? But Tohru also wants to keep living, somehow.

So she makes her mom not be gone. Her mom is dead, Tohru knows that, just like Akito knows that Akira’s soul isn’t in the box choosing her over Ren and showing her the way to happiness. But maybe. So she talks to the portrait of her mom. She tries to rescue her mom from suffocating inside a mudslide. She takes her mom on holiday to the onsen. Her mom gets kidnapped once by Hiro. Tohru’s mom is definitely not gone. Tohru and her mom definitely still have an eternal bond. Tohru’s mom will always be first in her heart, so that Tohru will always be first in her mother’s heart. Tohru will never abandon her. Tohru will never leave her behind.

(Tohru will never be left behind.)

Tohru’s world is just Tohru and her mom.

Tohru has two best friends, Arisa and Saki, but she won’t let them in. She won’t depend on them. She won’t tell that that her grief is crushing her and that she’s living in a tent because she’s terrified of being abandoned. Tohru makes a lot of new friends in the Souma family, and she’s very happy, but she won’t let them in either. Tohru can’t open up to any of them freely.

I don’t think I saved it anywhere the survived the computer death, but I saw at least one post in the fandom talking about the growing disappointment of the reboot anime, and they had a valid point, so I’ll bring that in now.

I really like the reboot, but I am losing my passion in the final season. Adapting a story from one media to another is hard, and at the beginning I thought they were doing a good job. Small things were being cut, scenes were being rearranged and stitched together, but there was a definite purpose behind it. Instead of literally following each chapter, each episode tried to be a self-contained theme in the same way a manga chapter would be. Because themes repeat again and again in Fruits Basket in a slow build, this was working well. But small things that didn’t quite fit got cut. Scenes I liked and was sad not to see, but that I accepted had to be left out to make the episodes stronger.

But they’ve been piling up and piling up. Small holes have accumulated into big plot holes that the third season is tripping over. I’m sad that we don’t see the small progressions of Yuki and Machi’s relationship, the quiet scenes that show Machi is trying to pay attention to Yuki the way he has paid attention to her, and also all the Mogetas. I’m sad Komaki is the new manga-only character. If we don’t get Kyouko’s full backstory, we lose a lot of the context that’s in this post. I could go on and on.

But most importantly, as that someone else pointed out, we missed out on the progression of Kyou and Tohru’s flirting. It’s too late to cram all of that into a montage episode, and so now we’ve been given episode after episode of Mom Tohru, and hardly any Tohru Struggling With Romance In Addition To Struggling With Grief before suddenly everyone is confessing their love and I’m not as into it in the anime as I am in the manga.

So many of the Souma love and accept Tohru, but Tohru remains an Outsider—not because of the curse, but because she hasn’t formed close friendships with them. Tohru has a lot of people among the Souma she likes who like her, but she’s always a Mom to them. Tohru shares some of her own pain with them, but it’s shared for their benefit, not for Tohru’s own catharsis. Tohru shares so she will be loved, not so that she will be accepted.

Except Kyou.

Kyou, who looks at Tohru and thinks, “I’m pretty sure she’s that lonely person even now, even while she’s smiling and genuinely enjoying every moment with us.” Kyou, who’s falling in love with Tohru. Kyou, whom Tohru’s falling in love with.

Kyou is the only one that Tohru takes a desperate risk with. Kyou is the only one Tohru ~disillusions~ and ~disappoints~ in the hope that he’ll accept her regardless.

Kyou is the only one Tohru tells, “I don’t talk about my dad because I kicked him out of the family. I know my dad loved us and I loved him back, but I pretend to talk like him so my mom will forget about him and love me instead. He came between me and my mom and now I pretend he doesn’t exist. And I know I’m an awful person for behaving like that, so I keep his picture and pretend I don’t, and I pretend he’s the Bad Guy who earned it.”

The idea that Tohru can’t love both her mom and Kyou is, in a way, true. (I think that same post I’ve been referencing also talked about how dropping the budding romance also dropped a lot of the clues that this is Tohru unable to process her grief? Which is also very true. But if Tohru has the Souma mindset, then actually she has a legit point about not being able to love two people at once despite being a very loving person. Both can be true. Multitudes.)

Kyou is an Outsider to the world of Tohru and her mom. And if Tohru chooses to love him, it will weaken her bond with her mom, which is predicated on loving her mom more than anyone else. If she expands her world to include him in it, she will be betraying her mom. Tohru will be the Bad Guy who left her mom behind and abandoned her. Tohru will be her own villain, condemned for the same crimes she pinned on her dad.

Kyou 100% gets where she’s coming from with this, because he turns this exact argument on her when she confesses to him and he panics (akin to when Tohru chases him down in his true form and he slashes her and, in the reboot, yeets her into the lake, so that she will be hurt so bad she’ll never pity/love him again). He asks her if her love for her mom—her bond—was just a lie.

Tohru making friends after Kyouko’s death has been a lot like Akito letting Yuki and Kyou out into the world, certain that it would drive them back to the bond. Yuki getting character development is a huge betrayal. Tohru wanting to be together with Kyou, when she should only want to be together with her mom, is a huge betrayal.

Tohru has no model for expanding her world. She’s good at loving people, but bad at letting them in (Kyouko was bad at that too—like Mom Tohru, she was very good at sharing anecdotes about her violent youth, but very bad about sharing how she’d failed Tohru as a mom). Like Akito, she only really knows the bond—the certainty that her mom would love her. She’s been so terrified of not being loved that she’s acted this entire time like her mom is still around. When Kyou’s love is a possibility, she can only conceptualize it as a betrayal of her relationship with her mother.

It always seemed a bit too abrupt that Tohru looked at Akito with the knife and went “oh shit we’re literally the same”, but now that I’ve thought this all out, it makes eloquent sense. The whole time Tohru’s been working against the curse, she’s been in denial about her own blessing-burden-curse. Now that she’s just admitted it and had it thrown back in her face, she can look at Akito and see another person in an insular little world, isolated and lonely and walled-off from the world. Of course Tohru desperately wants to make friends with knife-wielding Akito—she just decided to let go of her ties to her mother that were suffocating her, and take her first steps into the world, and got immediately dumped by the person she loves. Of course she wants to make friends with someone who knows exactly where Tohru’s coming from and how terrifying what Tohru just did is and how awful it is to be rejected even though she’s got other friends she loves out here in this world she’s decided to finally step into.

Tohru is so damn lonely, and Akito is there, also lonely and screaming and crying and undeniably human.

(Smile, Tohru tells herself in the hospital. Smile and tell Kyou you were happy to meet him and just let him go. Don’t be a curse. Smile and let him find his own happiness. Which is more or less the same struggle Akito is also going through. But maybe they’re going through it together. Maybe they used their words, together, when they couldn’t confide in anyone else. Although it feels a bit unlikely that Tohru let herself break down about Kyou in front of Akito, and Akito already had one pity-party in front of Momiji and may not have wanted to burden Tohru with a second.)

One thing I really love about Fruits Basket Another is that Hajime alludes to the fact that Kyou probably won’t inherit Kazuma’s dojo after all.

Kyou inheriting the dojo is something both Kyou and Kazuma have wanted, and it gives me many warm fuzzies. It is very narratively satisfying. The dojo, while Souma property, is not actually part of the main estate.

What I love is that Kyou probably won’t take over the dojo specifically because he and Tohru have made so many friends in their new town that they don’t want to pick up and leave. Kyou finally succeeds in freeing Tohru from that small, lonely world, much like he’s been freed from the fate of the Cat Room. Their relationship enriches them personally and also enables them to make so many new connections. Kyou has friends at the dojo! Tohru has friends at work maybe! Friends where they buy groceries, friends among the parents of their children’s classmates, friends outside of their extended Souma family! They’ve kept ties that don’t hold them back and made new ties that don’t weaken or steal away any of their old ties!

When they left Tokyo, Tohru was prepared to go anywhere as long as it was with Kyou. Now, she and Kyou both don’t want to leave because their world is so much larger than just their nuclear family and they’ve put down roots. They’ve seen each other not only lonely in the moonlight and worn thin by death and loss, but they’ve gotten up and gone down the mountain to where the people live and made friends among them, laughing in the sunlight. Just like the cat always uggghhhhh I’m not crying I’m just so damn happy for them I can’t

[spencerspecifics]

Okay yes hi hello this is me gracing y’all with my writing Bc I’ve had this idea forever!! This is going to be multiple chapters, here is chapter two. Enjoy :)

~

Technical Analyst (ch.1)

~

Short description: Spencer works as a technical analyst alongside Garcia and Kevin, though he hasn’t ever really worked directly with the BAU team, he works more in filing and researching. But when Garcia goes on vacation leave, and Kevin is busy with his own work, Spencer steps up to help- and that’s when he meets Derek Morgan.

———————————————————————

Spencer hated technology. He hated computers, tablets, cell phones, he hated it all. He hated everything and anything that isn’t on printed onto paper. So how the fuck did he end up as a technical analyst- whose entire job was based around proficient use of technology? In very short, budget cuts.

He originally worked in domestic terrorism, though he never fit in well there. He was a good worker, fast and able to do a lot. But his coworkers never let him feel included. He would hear them make plans without him, ignore him in conversations, only reaching out to him for his great memory to help solve a case. It was dehumanizing. He was just a brain for them, nothing more.

Then, the budget cuts came. And he got removed from the team, as he had the least amount of hours in the field- which wasn’t his fault. The rest of his team always forced him into the research position, so while they were off chasing the bad guys, he was stuck researching with a computer he doesn’t trust.

So yeah, he wasn’t an asset to them. But the bureau knew a mind like his in general was an asset, a fountain they’d like to keep a tap on. So they made work for him. It was mostly menial. He would assist with intense cases when necessary, but even then it was just research. No one knew what he would be like in the field, because they never gave him the chance.

Spencer tried not to think about how unfair this was, how stupid and purely tedious it was. He would rather be working as a T.A. at this point- which wouldn’t even be that bad. At least he gets heard and seen then.

~

Spencer’s normal day consists of going from his apartment to the bureau building, to directly into his cramped little office that was about the size of a jumbo walk in closet. A nice size to store clothes, but not so nice when you have to have a person, a desk, a chair, three computer monitors, two filing cabinents, a trash can, a fax machine, and a printer all crammed in there.

Yeah, his workplace was entirely too small. Thankfully it didn’t impact his ability to work, though, most the time Spencer finished his work quickly; and would end up reading. Spencer didn’t venture out from his office that much at all, (he always brought his own coffee so he didn’t have to worry about bugging the field agents.) the exception to leaving his office was to go across the hall to Penelope Garcia, his only sort of friend that he had at work. She was always so bubbly, it was a breath of relief for him to go see her- she reminded him of all the positive things, he definitely couldn’t do the job without her.

Not to mention, she had to train him from starting point zero. Spencer hated technology, after all. So he never made an effort to learn coding, hacking, how to re-route and track things. He knew nothing like that, hell, he struggles with his cellphone turning on sometimes.

Thankfully, she was able to get some sense into him, and he was pretty good at what he could do. Though he was still working out python coding, he was enjoying the learning process of using technology.

That being said- he still despises technology, and he hopes that once he leaves the job, he can throw away his very unnecessary but work mandated laptop.

~

Spencer made his way into the bureau building, messenger bag slung over his shoulder awkwardly as a thermos of coffee was held tightly in his right hand, while the left one reached for the door handle to enter. He got in no problem, security didn’t stop him anymore, thankfully. Though in the beginning, they did check him constantly, verifying that he belonged there. After all, he looked young, and he definitely didn’t belong in the bureau building. But then again, Garcia didn’t look like she belonged there either.

Security just made presumptions about people, he shrugged that thought off as he made his way to the elevator. Thankfully no one else was in there, he pressed the button for floor six, and the elevator doors shut.

The elevator whirred to life, taking him up to the sixth floor slowly. Thankfully today was a slow day, there wasn’t really any important case he had to work on. (Not like he ever really got given cases to work on, anyways.) So Spencer was hoping he would be able to finish his work quickly, as he had some books he brought with him that he wanted to read and re-read before the day was finished.

The elevator dinged, a signal it had reached its necessary location, before the doors finally slid back. He stepped out, taking his usual left down the hallway immediately. Forward through the glass doors was the bullpen with the agents who worked in the BAU. And god, what he wouldn’t give to be a field agent, working as a profiler. That’s why he wanted to join the bureau, and yet he was so close- his office only down the hall. But he was simultaneously so far, not being trusted by all the bureaucratic bosses, who didn’t know if he would be a good agent to warrant being put out into the field.

He hated it, but he tried not to think about it as he reached his office, Garcia’s door was shut, she was on vacation, or so he had heard. Spencer pulled on his office door, entering with ease as he moved into the cramped workspace.

Spencer sat his messenger bag down onto his desk, sitting himself down in his office chair and taking a minute to breathe in and out before continuing. Spencer hated this job. It was mind numbingly boring, he was so close to quitting. He knew the bureau would fight tooth and nail to keep him, however, but if that was the case, why not give him a better job- he didn’t want a nicer office, he wanted to help people.

He sighed, today was just one of those days where he was extra mad about not being treated right, he tried to ignore this thought process as he got ready to work; setting his coffee down by his computer mouse to his right, setting his messenger bag onto the floor next to him, pulling off the scarf that was wrapped loosely around his neck and hanging it over the back of his chair. Now he was ready for the day.

~

Penelope didn’t mean to forget to tell the team that she was going to be gone- she assumed they knew. At least Hotch did, all the rest of them knew was that she was going to take a week off to relax, they just didn’t know when (she had too many vacation days saved up, so she had to use them or lose them. She chose the former.) It was just a total brain fart moment on her part, so while she decided to hit up her favorite stores, spas, and websites; the team had no idea, they assumed she was holed up in her office, hacking away at whatever she normally does.

This would only show itself when Derek needed her, calling her office number and it going to voicemail “Hi, this is Penelope Garcia with the FBI and I’m too awesome to come to the phone right now, if it’s an urgent matter please call Aaron Hotchner-“ yeah, Derek hung up his phone by then, deciding to call her personal cell.

“Hi, hot chocolate!” She answered cheerfully, the sounds of people talking and laughing could be heard in the background, which Derek took note of. “Babygirl- your work phone sent me to voicemail, where are you?” Garcia was quiet for a second, before practically blowing Morgan’s eardrums out; “Oh- damnit! I knew I was forgetting something!” “Care to fill me in?” He asked her curiously, “Yes-“ Garcia sighed before continuing on, “Sorry. I’m taking those vacation days Hotch told me I had to use or else I’d lose.”

“So you’re not at the office.” He stated, “That I am not, I’m sorry I forgot to tell you! But my pal Spencer Reid should be covering for me.” “Spencer Reid?” Derek asked, unfamiliar with that person, “Why not kevin?” “Ugh, I don’t know- he’s doing that thing where he’s actually busy with other work for once. But Spencer is good, I taught him everything he knows- and I’m pretty sure he’s got three PhDs, so yeah, you replaced one genius with another- so don’t worry!” “Okay, well...” Derek took a second, “You sure I can ask Spencer about everything I’d ask you?” He meant work related, within being able to hack and get everything that Garcia would be able to get. Because Morgan knew that her talents were very special, and having someone else replicate them seemed near impossible, so he was a bit hesitant to trust someone new.

“Oh yeah- he’ll find everything easy peasy lemon squeezy. Don’t worry yourself, sugar.” “Okay, thank you mama. Have a good week of rest.” “I will! I have an appointment for a spa, and oh my god Derek- they do a seaweed wrap thing, isn’t that crazy?” “So you’re gonna get rolled up like sushi?” “No! Ew! Don’t compare me to raw fish!”

The phone call continued for a bit after that, as Derek wasn’t in an urgent matter. It was just a filing day at the office, before he hung up he asked where Spencer was, though; “Oh, he’s in the office next to mine, across the hall!” Garcia told him happily. Derek had thought that was a storage closet, but he didn’t tell her- instead thanking her and hanging up.

Now to pay this mystery computer whiz a visit.

~

Spencer was in the middle of re-routing a bunch of information that Garcia needed to send to her boss, Aaron Hotchner. Spencer didn’t share the same boss, since he was technically working in a more basic division of the bureau, he instead answered to Strauss- which was a royal pain in the ass, but he always turned his work in on time, came in when needed, he had never had to face her wrath yet, thankfully.

Spencer typed away, trying to get all the data to get to Hotchner as quickly as possible so he didn’t have to wait, though it wasn’t crucial the work did get completed right now. Spencer just liked to get things done.

A knock sounded Spencer out of his methodical typing, it wasn’t Garcia, obviously. And he knew Kevin was in a meeting right now with some IT people over his keyboard acting funky (Kevin could fix it by himself, but office administration forced him into talking to IT.)

“Yes?” Spencer asked curiously, turning around in his office chair, because he had no clue who it was that could be interrupting his work. The door pushed open, revealing a tall, classically handsome, muscular man carrying some files in his hands. Fuck, that would be Spencer’s luck. An attractive guy swooping in and making his IQ of one hundred and eighty seven go down to sixty in two second flat

“Hi- you Spencer?” The man asked, stepping forward into the cramped office. Spencer stood up instinctively, “Yes, I am. How can I help you?” The man handed the files over awkwardly, “I’m sorry, I usually ask Penelope Garcia for this but she’s on vacation and she referred me to you- I just need these put through VICAP, I’m not too familiar with the system as a whole, ‘cause Garcia usually handles it.”

Spencer nodded, taking the files and looking through them briefly, there were nine of them. “I’m sorry, I know that’s a lot of work to do... I’m sure I can figure it out myself-“ Derek started, doing his best to apologize. Little did he know Spencer could get this done within an hour or so.

“Oh no- not a problem at all, this should only take me about an hour, two at most, but that’s a generous estimate.” Derek raised his eyebrows, “An hour or two? Garcia usually finishes up this many files within three or four. How are you able to get this done faster than her?”

“I have an eidetic memory, which helps me recall anything that I read. I can read these files once and put all the information into VICAP knowing it’s accuracy is one hundred percent without having to double check, that cuts down my speed by half per case file.”

Derek looked confused and shocked. Yeah, Spencer could understand why. “Sorry, um. That’s a weird explanation, but it shouldn’t take me as long. I’m assuming you’re out in the bullpen?” Spencer asked him, putting the files down atop his keyboard.

“Yeah, I’m Derek Morgan with the BAU.” Derek finally introduced himself, reaching his hand out. Shit, this was Derek Morgan? Garcia has mentioned him a few times to Spencer, saying he’d love him “oh he’s so handsome, but so sweet and loving, like the hottest man on earth- I’d marry him in a heartbeat, but we don’t roll like that, Y’know?” That’s how she described him once, and of course Spencer remembered that word for word. Spencer felt like it was just his luck, that his only work colleague was best friends with a man so attractive that his mind isn’t working fully.

Not to mention he was in the BAU, Spencer guessed he was, since Garcia was their technical analyst. But still, it would be just his luck to know this insanely attractive man was part of the team he wanted to belong to so bad. Spencer wasn’t sure how to respond as he kept his composure. After all, yeah, Derek was attractive. But they probably wouldn’t speak again after this exchange. It wasn’t worth Spencer thinking about him, or how Garcia described him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t shake. But it’s nice to meet you, I’ll find you once I’m done. If you need anymore help, feel free to let me know.” Spencer told him, looking back at the files on his desk as a distraction away from this hot guy that was just standing so calmly in his office, as if Spencer ever had any visitors into the cramped space besides Garcia and Kevin.

By the time spencer looked back up, Derek’s arm was back down by his side. “Okay, thank you.”

~

Derek was surprised by their exchange, to say the least. How did he not know about this genius before? How was he not more well known, a memory thing, three PhD’s- that would be a useful asset? How come he was hidden away in a closet sized office? He had to know more. Even if it was nosy and stupid.

Normally, he’d call Garcia and ask her if it was about an employee. But in this case, he couldn’t. And he couldn’t go to Spencer, that would be weird.

So, he did the next best thing. He asked Hotch.

~

He knocked slowly on Hotchner’s door, hoping he wasn’t going to tell him to mind his business and not ask about employee facts when they definitely were irrelevant.

Derek was smart though, he figured out a foolproof way to play this. So when Hotch said, “Yes?” He came in, starting his plan into motion.

“Hotch, where’s Garcia?” He asked him, as if Derek hadn’t immediately checked up on his babygirl when he couldn’t find her. “Oh,” Hotch started, setting a file down that he had been looking over, “She took some vacation time.”

“So, who am I supposed to go to for computer help?” Derek asked, “Well,” Hotchner started, matter of factly, while he reached for a thin, unopened file on his desk. “We have a new guy helping us. Kevin’s busy with helping the child abduction unit reset their computers, as well as he’s in an IT meeting right now, so we have..” Hotch stopped, looking down to read the name off the file; “Doctor Spencer Reid. I’m sure he’ll be just as good.”

“Hotch. No ones as good as Garcia.” Derek pointed out, Hotch shrugged. “Maybe not. But this guy has a glowing personal history- and Garcia told me she taught him everything he knows.”

“What’s his personal history?” Derek asked curiously, stepping a bit closer but still trying to play nonchalance. “You know I’m not able to disclose that. You can go ask him for yourself.” Derek sighed. Of course Hotch wasn’t gonna tell him shit. He should’ve expected this. But sue him, call him hopeful. He was hoping he could’ve gotten some information on this mysterious doctor.

~

Derek made his defeated way back to his desk in the bullpen. And Emily, whose desk was directly across from his, immediately noticed his slight annoyance at Hotch. So she asked in a hushed voice as soon as he sat down;

“Did you get yelled at by Hotch?” Because in her mind, that was the most logical explanation that made the most sense. Derek just shook his head as a response, “No,” he clarified, “I was asking about our Garcia fill-in, and Hotch wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Garcia fill-in? She’s gone?” Emily asked confusedly looking back to the hallway that led to Penelope’s office, as if she’d magically appear. “Yeah, but just for the week.” Derek explained, “She’s using those vacation days she had saved up. And Kevin isn’t our standby, ‘cause he’s busy. Instead it’s some new guy.”

“Who?” Prentiss asked, this time she was curious. And as if on cue, Dr. Spencer Reid came through the glass doors, and into the bullpen, carrying Morgan’s stack of files.

“Him.” Morgan pointed back simply as a response as he waved Spencer over.

~

To say Spencer felt out of his element by being in the BAU bullpen was an understatement, he felt like a fish out of water. Like he was suffocating and everything around him was too much.

He purposely avoided the bullpen, first reason being because he didn’t have any work with the BAU. But the second reason was he knew if he stepped in, he’d be more upset that he couldn’t be on the team. And the last thing he wanted to do was make his job worse for himself.

But, this experience was an outlier. And though Spencer can remember almost anything and everything, he planned on doing his best to purposely forget all of this. Every last detail.

He wasn’t going to let himself remember how there were field agents with real life guns holstered at their sides, how they were all sitting casually, looking over cases and drinking coffee, how they had the title of SSA (he only had SA, which he still was bitter about.), and then how at a moments notice they could fly away in a jet. How astonishing their work is, how jealous he is.

But Spencer entered through the glass doors nonetheless, looking around quickly before seeing Derek wave him over. Derek was sat at his desk, talking to a woman whose head was turned away from Spencer, all he could see was that she was his desk mate, and that she had black hair.

Spencer made his way over at a brisk pace, he just needed to get in and out. If he stayed for too long, he’d let himself remember to much.

“Hey, I- I got these into VICAP no problem,“ Spencer started as he handed Derek the case files, “But I noticed some errors on the date stamping on when you found the unsub so I corrected it myself, I hope you don’t mind.”

Derek shook his head casually, “Not a problem at all, I have a habit of messing that up. Thanks doc.” Fuck, ‘doc’? Spencer hadn’t been called ‘doctor’ in months, let alone ‘doc’. This was turning into a tailspin moment for him as he smiled awkwardly, feeling a blush rising to his face, he wasn’t sure what else to do. But he wanted to get out of there.

Thankfully, the woman with black hair introduced herself, as once he had rounded the corner to see Derek, he also saw her face. She was pretty, and had bangs. “Hi, I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Emily Prentiss.” She reached her hand over to shake Reid’s expectantly, “Oh I-“ Reid started, hands down at his sides, he wasn’t going to move them.

“He doesn’t shake, Prentiss.” Derek explained casually, “Oh,” Emily said, dropping her hand down, “Sorry! It’s still good to meet you, though. So I hear you’re covering for Garcia?” She asked Spencer, who nodded as he pushed a piece of hair back behind his ear.

“Yeah she’s taking vacation time, and Kevin is currently busy with helping the child abduction unit. So I’ll be you technical analyst for the next week or so.”

“I’m sorry, but how long have you been with the bureau? You look really young. I don’t mean to be rude I’m just-“ “You’re really asking him the rudest possible question, though, huh?” Derek joked to her, and she just smacked him on the arm lightly before turning her attention back to Spencer.

“No you’re fine to ask I- um, I’ve been with the bureau a year and a half, but originally I was on the domestic terrorism field unit.” He explained shortly, he didn’t wanna go into how he got on the bureau to begin with, or how he left the domestic terrorism unit. All he wanted to do was have this conversation end, or else it would just be that much harder to forget.

“Domestic terrorism? So how do you end up doing technical analyst work?” Derek butted in curiously, up until now it has been Prentiss asking all the questions.

Spencer stayed quiet for a moment, before finally responding, “If you need anything else, my office is next to Garcia’s. It’s been nice meeting you, Emily.” All he gave to Derek was a curt nod before walking out at the brisk pace he had entered with.

~

“Wow, well you fucked that up.” Prentiss spoke to Derek once she saw Spencer exiting through the glass doors, and turning down the hallway.

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her, “I’m just curious about him, can you blame me?” Emily just chuckled softly in return, shaking her head as she turned her chair around to face him more head on.

“Are you curious about him because he’s cute, or because he’s replacing Garcia for the week?” Derek blinked at her in surprise; “I never said he was cute.” He protested, more confused than anything else.

“You didn’t say it, but your body language did. You think he’s cute. You called him ‘doc’ and he almost blushed, and I have a feeling you’re gonna try and call him ‘doc’ again to see that same result- and you watched him the entire time, even if I was talking.”

“You think random bureau agents are cute all the time, what’s it matter?” Derek rebutted, trying to deflect and ignore, because Prentiss wasn’t making sense. Derek wasn’t attracted to Spencer, he didn’t think he was cute. Spencer’s level of attractiveness had nothing to do with his curiosity.

Derek did have a right to be curious for other reasons, anyways. This guy was replacing Garcia for a bit. It made sense Derek would wanna know more about the guy, even if he was or wasn’t attractive.

“Yeah, I find agents cute. But I don’t go asking Hotch about them.” Prentiss said with a smirk, Derek just shot her a glare. “I asked Hotch because he’s replacing Garcia. And I’ve not heard of the guy before.”

“Whatever you say, man.” Was all Emily replied with as she turned back to her work, Derek just rolled his eyes at her again before turning to his own computer.

Okay, so he knew Spencer was in domestic terrorism. It couldn’t hurt to just search it up, right? It wasn’t anything classified, he’d be able to see it, Derek hoped. He wasn’t meaning to be nosy, but he was just so curious and confused. He just had to know more.

———————————————————————

[mavzoon]

Yandere Bruno x fem/reader smut

So. I didn’t know exactly how to write Bruno’s stand from the perspective of a non-stand user. So. Let’s just think that the reader can only feel strength leave the places that are being zipped. (I also re-watched the episode where Bruno uses his stand on Giorno and he says something along the lines of “does it feel as if your head is about to fall off?” and so I kinda based the readers reaction to his stand after that.

Trigger warnings: Dubcon (def more noncon headed), yandere stuff, a lot of dirty talk (though its rly soft bc Bruno), mild body horror I guess?? Bc Bruno uses his stand on the reader. Just a lot of Bruno being a ‘sweet’ yandere for the reader.

Word count: 2915

Le sin under the cut

The first thing you felt was a throbbing in your head. You looked around, vision still hazy and found that you were in a lavish bedroom. For a second, you thought that it had to be a dream. Then your head throbbed again, and for the first time, you noticed the fact that another person was holding you. You rolled around to see who it was only to be met with a face that might as well have been a strangers. 

You’d see that man before. Usually, you’d forget the faces of strangers, but there was something about his blue eyes and bob cut that made you remember him. Or maybe it was the politeness he showed you when he bumped into you. You couldn’t remember his name. The only thing you knew for sure was that you had no idea how you ended up there. 

You’d gone drinking last night, and at some point, you must have passed out. You weren’t that surprised by having woken up in a strangers bed after a night of drinking, but the thing that puzzled you was that you didn’t even remember seeing the blue-eyed man in the bar. 

Ever so slowly, you pulled yourself free from his grasp. You were about to stand up and sneak away when a strong pair of hands pulled you back down.

“Hey! I’ve got to go now!” You yelped as the man pulled you back into his arms.

“Oh? And where exactly are you planning to go, love?” Though his voice was soft and sweet, you furrowed your brows at what he had said.

You turned to look at him. “Home. I have work and- Hey!” 

The man pulled you against him, and your face pressed up against his bare chest. 

“Oh, but darling, you are home,” he smiled, his eyes not showing even the slightest hint of malice. 

Without even thinking, you kicked yourself away from him and sprinted at the door. At once, your legs gave away, and you fell on the ground, hitting your head. You tried to stand up, but for some reason, your legs wouldn’t co-operate. You whipped your head back, but seemingly there was nothing wrong with your legs. All of the strength below your thigh had just vanished. You screamed. You kicked about, tried to crawl away and thrashed around like a fish on land. 

“Oh, sweetheart, I wish you’d calm down. You could hurt yourself!” The man walked over to you.

You tried crawling away, but you were stopped by the wall hitting your back. “Don’t hurt me!” You threw your hands up and whimpered.

The man tilted his head, looking almost confused. “I’d never hurt you!” He smiled and knelt next to you, placing a warm hand on your cheek. “I love you.”

You felt as if your heart had stopped. “I don’t even know you, just… Let me go, please,” you begged as tears began to slip down your cheeks.

“Oh, darling, please don’t cry.” He wiped the tears away, only serving to scare you even more. “My name is Bruno Bucciarati. Though it does hurt a bit that you’ve forgotten my name, I won’t hold it against you. It must’ve been stressful, living in that chaotic world all by yourself. But don’t worry! You’re safe now.” He pulled you into a tight hug. 

This has to be a dream, you thought. Soon you’d wake up and go on with your normal routine. You’d go to that job you don’t care about and spend time with the coworkers who barely knew the real you. You’d-

The stranger, Bruno, placed a gentle kiss on your forehead. “You don’t have to worry about anything ever again,” he pulled away and looked at you, eyes full with something close to affection. “I’ll take care of you.”

You tried pushing him away, but he grabbed your hand and smiled. “I understand this all must be so confusing for you.” He smirked as if he’d figured something out. He pulled your hand near his face and kissed your palm so gently it barely felt like a tickle. “I was planning on waiting, but I see now that I must show you just how much I love you,” he whispered as a kissed down your palm to your wrist. 

The implications were not lost on you. “P-please don’t! J-just let me go…”

“Hush, you’ll see soon enough that this is for the best.”

“But-”

He interrupted you with a kiss. You tried yanking yourself away, but he followed, eventually trapping you under him, your back pressed against the floor. You tried pulling away once more, placed a firm hand on your side, keeping you in place. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you love every second of this,” he said as he began trailing kisses down your neck.

You were damn-near trembling with fear. “I- I don’t want to-”

“Yes, you do.” Bruno pulled back and picked you up. You tried wiggling yourself free, but the strength was still gone from your legs, and you felt as if they might fall off any second. As he carried you back to the bed, he trailed a finger over your lips and smiled. “You love me. You just don’t know it yet.”

The utter intensity of his gaze made you feel as if you were burning up. At that moment, you realized that there was no reasoning to be done with the man. He had made up his mind. You wished you could escape, but with the spell he’d put on your legs, you knew you couldn’t do that. All you could do was endure whatever hell he’d put you through. 

And so you closed your eyes and grit your teeth, determined not to give him the satisfaction of seeing your reactions.  

He laid you down on the bed so carefully it was as if he thought you’d shatter from the smallest bump. You turned your head away, refusing to look at him as he crawled on top of you. Just having him near you made you feel as if you’d suffocate. 

He swiped a stray hair away from your face. “This is one of the things I most love about you. You’re so headstrong and determined.”

He leaned in to kiss you, but you turned your head away, so his lips found your jaw instead. Bruno didn’t show even the slightest hint of disappointment. He kissed down your neck ever so slowly.

“Amore, you may act as indifferent as you want, but I won’t be deterred.” He pushed one hand under your shirt, his fingers barely touching your skin as he pushed your shirt up. “If it were up to me, I’d kiss you for hours.” In a second, your shirt and bra were split open and pulled off. You opened your eyes and looked about, your brows furrowed. They were next to you, unbroken. 

“Are you a demon?” you asked before you could stop yourself.

Bruno chuckled, his warm breath hitting your skin, giving you goosebumps. “No, darling, I’m the love of your life.” 

He dove down, taking one of your nipples into his mouth and licking it. You couldn’t help but whimper. You’d dreamt of finding someone who’d take things slow with you and love you. Never in your wildest dreams would you imagine it would happen like this. 

You’d been fine if Bruno had just bent you over and treated you as if you were worthless, so the fact he was treating you as if you were a porcelain doll was unbearable. You half wanted to tell him to hurry up so you could leave, or at least try to. Then again, you didn’t want to make him think you actually wanted any of this. 

Lost in thought, you yelped when Bruno slid one hand under your pants and began to pull them down. He switched to playing with your other nipple. 

The fact that he was treating you better than all the other lovers you’d had in the past made you seethe with disgust. 

“Hurry up! If you’re going to take me against my will, then just fucking do it!” You snapped. 

Bruno pulled back and stared at you, his eyes wide. “I’m not going to hurt you like that. Can’t you see that I love you?” He sounded genuinely upset.

You laughed, “You might think you do, but you really don’t. And I most certainly don’t love you!” 

Bruno looked as if he might cry. “You do love me.” He leaned in and kissed the valley between your breasts, his hair tickling your skin. “And I love you more than anything.” You shivered as his breath hit your stomach as he slid lower. He stopped at the hem of your panties, kissing just above them. 

“You are the most precious thing in the world, amore mio,” Bruno whispered as he pulled down your panties so gently as if they were made of silk. He visibly shivered at the sight of your exposed pussy. “beautiful,” he breathed out with a shaky voice. 

At that point, you weren’t even sure you’d been able to run away even if he hadn’t put a spell on your legs. You wanted to beg him to stop, to let you go. 

Bruno kissed your inner thigh. You tried closing your legs, but he held your thighs open with warm, gentle hands. “I’ve been waiting to taste you for so long, I can hardly wait.”

Without warning, he licked along the entrance of your pussy and moaned. You whimpered, not so much from the feeling but rather from embarrassment.

“You’re exquisite!” Though he had seemed to want to take things slow, he wasted no second before diving down once more, licking your pussy with such dedication it was as if he wanted to worship each tiny part of you. 

At times, he would plunge his tongue into you and swirl it around, making your toes curl. Then he’d suck on your clit, swirling his tongue around it, dam near making you cry with his skilled movements. It wouldn’t have been so bad if he just hadn’t known what to do, but he did, and now you were left struggling to hold back your own moans. 

“It’s okay, you can let go for me, amore,” Bruno whispered, his breath tickling your pussy. “Let me hear that sweet voice of yours.” 

You shook your head. “N-no,” you spat though your toes were curling with the effort of stifling the noises a part of you was so keen to let out.

You felt Bruno smirk. “My, my! You’re so tense, my love! It’s okay, though. I know you must be excited as well.” 

You yelped as he pushed two fingers into your dripping pussy and curled them, stroking your g-spot. “That’s it. Let me hear that beautiful voice of yours,” he whispered, sucking on your clit again, his movements so gentle and sweet you wanted to cry. 

“Look at the way you’re trembling! You can’t wait until I bury my cock into your pretty little pussy, can’t you? Don’t worry, I can’t wait either but...” he pulled back, and you raised your hips without thinking, a part of you wanting his mouth on you again. 

Bruno smiled, your juices glistening on his lips. “I think I’ll make you come first on my mouth and only then, I’ll give you my cock.” 

He added in a third finger and sped up his movements. The feeling of his warm, wet tongue swirling against your sensitive clit was steadily guiding you towards your orgasm. 

“Go on, don’t you want to cum for me?” Bruno hummed. You whimpered and grit your teeth. 

“Y-you can’t make m-me-” you bit your lip, trying not to cry out. 

“Hmm? What was that, my love? Did you want me to stop?” he pulled away.

“No, don’t!” You yelped before you could stop yourself.

Bruno smiled, his expression full of awe and desire. “How could I ever deny such an earnest request from someone as enchanting as you?” 

With a few more practised curls of his fingers and flicks of his tongue, you came, your body trembling as Bruno held you in place, his movements never once stopping or slowing. You whimpered through your gritted teeth. Then he groaned against your pussy, lapping up your juices. You moaned as he licked it all up as if he’d never tasted anything as delicious before.

He pulled back and smothered your face with kisses. You could taste yourself on his lips. 

“Cara,” Bruno whispered in your ear. “You did so well.” 

For a brief second, you thought it might be over, and you weren’t quite sure if you felt disappointed or glad. 

Then you heard the clinking of a belt and tensed up. “Shh, no need to worry, cuore mio, this won’t hurt a bit.”

You didn’t bother protesting when the tip of his hot cock brushed against your entrance, smearing precum over your wet pussy. 

“Hurry up,” you whimpered.

Bruno chuckled. “Darling, we’ve got all the time in the world, but… I’ll indulge you since you’ve been such a good girl.”

He aligned his uncovered cock at the entrance of your pussy and pushed in with one smooth thrust, never once looking away from you. You yelped. The stretch of his cock didn’t even sting because he’d fingered you earlier.

“Fu- amore! You’re so soft and, God, you’re so tight!” Bruno whimpered as he kissed your neck. He pulled back only to thrust into your dripping pussy.

You whined at the soft pace he set, hating how good it felt, hating how you were already giving in and tightening around his hard cock. You tried your best to ignore everything that he was doing, the way his cock was brushing against your g-spot with each thrust and the way his soft, sweet voice sent warm shivers down your spine. 

“T-that’s it,” Bruno panted. He took hold of your hands and pushed them above your head before kissing you as if his life depended on it, his chest brushing against your breasts. 

Everything about this situation was overwhelming, from the heat of Bruno’s cock, the sweet little moans he was letting out each time you took in all of his cock and the way he was looking at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world. You threw back your head and moaned, giving up on what’s right and wrong. What did that matter when this man you barely knew, who claimed to be the love of your life, was making you feel like an angel?

“B-Bruno! Go faster,” you moaned into his ear. You smiled weakly as he gasped.

“Anything, ah, for you, my love,” he whimpered as he grabbed your hip and began thrusting into you at a furious pace. A part of you still wanted to hate him for taking you against your will, but you found that you loved the way he was worshipping you even more. 

“Is- fuck, is that all you can do, signore?” you bit his neck.

Bruno let out a sound somewhere between a yelp and a moan. He looked at you, his eyes clouded with lust. He let go of your wrists, and you pulled him into a kiss, tangling your hand on his soft hair. 

“I love you! I love you so much, fuck,” Bruno wrapped a hand around your throat but didn’t squeeze. He held you so close your noses nearly touched, the heat of his body warming you, surrounding you. It made you feel safe in the worst of ways.

“I love you too,” you whimpered, voice barely audible.

Bruno stopped abruptly and stared at you, his eyes wide. He thrust back in, and you yelped. “Say that again,” he growled. For the briefest of seconds, you remembered that you were in all actuality, incredibly far away from safety.

“I love you, Bruno,” you dug your nails into his back.

He snarled and bit your neck. “Again.”

“I love you so much! I, oh God, I love you more than anything, please! Please just f-fuck me harder!” The way his hard cock was hitting your sweet spot, his soft panting and whimpering above you and the slapping of his balls against your ass was all bringing you so close to cumming you felt as if you might break.

“C-cum for me,” Bruno buried his face on your neck and whimpered. 

You came with a high pitched moan. You gasped as you regained the control over your legs. Without even thinking, you wrapped them around Bruno’s waist and pulled him as close as possible. 

“Cum in me, Bruno,” you moaned before kissing his cheek.

Bruno gasped as he came, his cum warm in your sensitive pussy. He stayed there for a few seconds, panting before pulling you into a heated kiss once more. He nibbled at your bottom lip and pulled away to look at you. “I really do love you.”

You blushed. On some level, you realized it wasn’t right, but you couldn’t stop your heart from skipping a beat at his words.

“You’ll stay here with me, right?” Bruno pushed a stray hair away from your face and stroked your cheek. “I promise I’ll take good care of you.”

At first, you’d have protested, but now it was as if all the fight had been fucked out of you in the sweetest way possible. You smiled. “I’ll stay.”

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Scheming (with Sandwiches) (5/3/2021)

Alastor talks to Valera @autokrates about her visit from Ruler Of Hell King Alastor @akillingspreeinwhite—and more importantly, what to do about him if he decides he wants to start conquering other Hells.

Alastor's plan: an alliance between as many potentially threatened dimensions as possible.

Alastor

Lunch time! Hello Valera guess who it is, it's Alastor. "I hope you don't mind, I thought it might be nice to have lunch together today! Sandwich?" The sandwich is an innocent gift of friendship with no ulterior motives! And also it's a bribe.

Valera

Lunch time! A great time, usually. A chance to gossip with coworkers AND eat. And look who's here, it's Alastor, with a very innocent sandwich! "Mind? Not at all, by all means my dear, it's a pleasure."

She does TRY to take a bite from the sandwich, but before she can even sink her teeth into it her whole face twists and she has to put it aside to flop her head down and groan. Don't mind her clutching her stomach, this is normal. "Eelizzy is *rioting* back home, oh my *gods*. Feels like I swallowed a radio full of hornets."

Alastor

"Oh, don't you hate that? When you're trying to pick up a station on the radio and there's so much interference all you hear is *buzzing*?" He's proud of himself for that joke. He shouldn't be. "Try this, see if it calms her down any." He sends over a song. <https://youtu.be/2t4iBbfwBLw>

Valera

She'd glare at him for that joke, but she's too busy making her poor floppy at-home body cooperate long enough to open a link. "Louisiana Lullaby? Well by name alone it promises results. She loved New Orleans."

A minute passes, and she slowly sits upright. The sandwich is cautiously picked up, and she nibbles at the crust as she raises both eyebrows at Alastor. She can guess what he really wants to know. "Incredible, even from a distance you're better at wrangling a kid than your more... *royal* alternate." That's an opening if she's ever given one, here you go Alastor.

Alastor

His smile widens. The exact topic he wanted to talk about! "I take it his visit was rather... stomach-turning?"

Valera

She glances around, making sure they're far enough away from any coworkers, then leans in with gossiping intent. "Putting it *mildly*. He's very tall, he's very self assured, and he's got the worst vibes I've ever felt roll off of a man. Like dunking my face in used cooking oil. And get this. The second he stepped into my house, Eelizzy started thrashing like a harpooned whale. She's never reacted so violently to *anything*."

Alastor

A slow nod. "That's never a good sign. I trust the judgment of the as yet unborn, they tend to be less prejudiced. And I take it you don't think it was a mere reaction to his power level?"

Valera

Her head cocks to the right, nose scrunching in thought. "He gave me one of Lucifer's flight feathers, so I assume she felt some of that power too. But I put the thing away and she still spent the entire visit either flailing or spitting static at him every time he got too close."

The hand not holding the sandwich brushes her barbels back, rubbing her forehead. "I suppose it's possible that his energy was simply so foreign she reacted strongly, but I live with *Leal*. She's been around for everything from eldritch magic to his full demonic form and barely even stirred. When she met Alexa? Happily buzzing at him barely a minute in. You saw how well she took to you, too. She's met dragons, gods, demons, sinners, and not a single one had her that pissed. Even Seapup was growling at him and Seapup loves *everyone*."

Alastor

"If she doesn't even react to *gods* like that, I'm going to assume it's the quality rather than the quantity." He sighs. "Well, *that's* telling, isn't it! I'm not sure *what* it's telling us yet—but I don't think I'm going to like the answer, do you?"

Valera

She snorts. "No. No I do *not*. He got to my planet unaided, Alastor. Got into my house without me giving any sort of direction. He knew the planet's name before I ever told him. And I want to chalk that up to just him reading my blog, but... I know he's followed me and Leal around without either of us being able to sense him."

Alastor

Alastor nods. "He mentioned that to me too, your 'being followed' adventure. I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the king's done it more than once. Or, considering how strong he has to be to have seized the throne, he might have additional methods of sussing out information. All of which are probably bad news."

Valera

This poor sandwich is never going to get eaten at this rate, there she goes putting it down again. "No kidding. He's been the pinnacle of manners and social grace for now, but.." A shrug, and she offers Alastor a wan smile. "I don't trust that to last. He's an outlier to the already unpredictable Alastor model."

Alastor

"No, I don't trust it either." His voice lowers—not his usual trick of changing his tone of voice to pretend he's being quieter, but an actual lowering of volume. "Here's the thing. I don't trust a single one of my alternates that's joined in the overlord rat race—much less has made king. A propensity toward boredom like mine should *never* be married to earnest political ambitions. When he gets bored, he's going to do what he's always done: conquer. And if there's no more room for him to move *upward,* he'll start moving *outward.* And wouldn't you know it, he's *just* found the multiverse."

Valera

"Exactly." She exhales almost too forcefully for it to be a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. What a headache this was turning out to be. "I *really* don't want to test my mettle against even a normal Alastor alt, the idea of *that* man being able to show up in my house on a whim and start trying to play at the All American Dream of Conquering the Alien Menace is... Not good." An absent minded rubbing of her stomach, self soothing and comforting an egg that was universes away. "I'm not ashamed to admit that I am, on some level, absolutely terrified."

Alastor

"You're not alone," Alastor admits. "Not to downplay your very realistic 'heroic human conquering the savage alien world' fears, but if human history has proven anything, it's that we tend to try conquering our neighbors first and only travel farther after we either succeed or decide it's more trouble than it's worth. And neighbors don't get much closer than a parallel copy of the same place."

Valera

"Oh dear." Grimacing, she lifts a hand like she's about to offer comfort, letting it hover for a moment before slowly putting it back down. No, don't do for the shoulder pat just yet. "I don't like that one bit, Alastor. But for what it's worth, if it came down to it, I'd try to help you."

Alastor

"That is *exactly* what I wanted to discuss." Alastor's eyes glow brighter. "Now, any version of me that's conquered Hell is going to be stronger than any version of me that hasn't, that's practically a given. He could beat any *one* of us hands down. I haven't seen *you* at full power, but frankly that's a boxing match I wouldn't want to bet money on for either side. But—*but*—if enough of us have agreed we'll fight him if he stepped out of line... The more of us agree to fight in defense of each other's dimensions, the better a chance we'll collectively stand. Leclerq and I have already agreed to offer each other mutual support. With three of us, we might have the start of a proper defense."

Valera

She folds her hands, listening as Alastor lays out his plan. Strength in numbers, it was an effective strategy. She could think of a few others who would gladly throw their hats in the ring in the name of keeping the line as well, Alastor or otherwise. "Alright. I'll add myself to that list, and pray we never need it."

Alastor

He laughs wryly. "And I'll be praying for backup in case we *do* need it. Apparently upstairs doesn't care about who's calling the shots in Hell, if they didn't intervene before my alternate could take the crown; but maybe they'll start to care if multiple Hells start uniting in one empire."

Valera

She snorts despite herself, shaking her head. "I hope so! Wouldn't that be something, heaven and hell uniting forces against one common enemy! I just hope we never have to see it."

Alastor

"So do I." He takes a deep breath. "So! Anything else of interest to report from his little visit? You mentioned *you* didn't like his... 'vibes'?"

Valera

"Oh! Yeah. Holy shit." A WELCOME subject change. "He's freaky. And I don't like that I know even one of his kinks. I want to know zero of them." She shrugs and picks her sandwich back up. At last, something she can eat while discussing. "As far as his visit though. He gave me one of Lucifer's flight feathers. Which I _immediately_ handed off to mon cerf."

Alastor

"He certainly has poor taste in kinks." He says this like his ace ass is some sort of elitist kink connoisseur. Like a wine snob judging a broke-ass college kid for drinking box wine. "But is that the *only* sense you meant he's freaky in, or...? Granted, handing an acquaintance a souvenir harvested from the body of one's vanquished nemesis is a hell of an opening statement all by itself, but."

Valera

"I wish." Look at that face scrunch. It won't keep her from taking a bite out of her sandwich, but still. "No, I mean his very presence was like trying to breathe oil. He's.." She frowns, brow furrowing as she tries to think of a less melodramatic way to put it. "He's nice, but in the way people are nice to a pet."

Alastor

A huff. "I got a little bit of that impression from talking to him. Granted, Radio Demons are a naturally condescending lot, but even at that..." He searches for the right words. "He strikes me as the kind of person incapable of seeing anyone as his equal. Even his own alternates."

Valera

She nods. "Yes, I think you're right. We're entertainment more than we are people. Perhaps _especially_ his alternates, come to think of it.." Judging by the way he'd treated his alts on dash..

Alastor

"Could be worse—could be outright loathing—but I'm wary around any alternate who can't even see *himself* as a kindred spirit. I'm hoping I can take advantage of it, though. I've got an open invitation to visit his dimension sometime to provide entertainment—a few Hamilton songs from me in exchange for a tour. I plan on scouting the place out then."

Valera

"Oh yeah! You do, don't you! You should try and see what happened to the other overlords in his Hell. Assuming he didn't kill them as soon as they manifested, I've wondered whats become of them."

Alastor

"So have I. I have to think overlords still exist—what does it matter to a king if the peasants claim ownership of a block or two?—but whether any of them are the same overlords *we* know..." He grimaces. "He said he took power in the fifties, didn't he? If we're assuming a worst case scenario where he executed all the overlords who currently existed, that includes Sir Pentious and Rosie. Maybe Rosie was minor enough to be spared, if anyone was spared at all; but someone else with ambitions for the throne..."

Valera

She scowls, shoving the rest of the sandwich in her mouth to keep from saying anything before she can think it over. He was right, and the thought was.. Deeply uncomfortable. A hard swallow, and she starts brushing the crumbs off her chest. "We're set to have lunch together tomorrow, *out* of my house." She doesn't sound especially *happy* about the arrangement, but oh well. "If I learn anything new, I'll let you know. Between the two of us, we should hopefully be able to get a feel for what situation we're dealing with. Odds are his Pentious was exterminated."

A blink, and she squints. "Actually, he said something to Theodore today. His Hell has had some *significant* technological advancements since he took the throne, he was very proud of that fact. All radio based, obviously, but he doesn't strike me as an inventor."

Alastor

"*Our* Hell's had significant technological advancements since the fifties, too," Alastor pointed out. "He could be collecting newly-dead inventors and pressing them to turn their expertise toward radio-based applications. Or, hell—it could simply be that having V#x out of the way means the technological developments in Hell naturally drifted a different way."

He gives Valera a tired, wan smile. "I'd *like* to imagine that Sir Pentious is happily toiling away as the royal inventor, but I don't want to get my hopes up. I don't think the majority would be happy with that."

Valera

"Mm, I'm being too optimistic. And he would hate it, so maybe it's for the better that he's probably been exterminated." She sighs. "I don't know if we manage to find trouble, Alastor, or trouble manages to find us. Either way, what a pain. Any other questions before we drag ourselves back to the dreadful chore of watching Hamilton get shot on stage over and over?"

Alastor

"Just one." He nods toward the stage. "Do you think it's been long enough since the last time I got in trouble that I can start singing 'he's never gon' be president now' when the bullet connects?"

Valera

Now that is a very serious question that must be considered.... Hrm... "Yes, but barely. I think the director would throw his clipboard at you, but not much beyond that. He's on his sixth coffee of the day, so the odds of dodging are in your favor."

Alastor

"Maybe he'll forgive me out of pity if I let it connect." He stands, picks up his own sandwich—yeah, he's had a sandwich this whole time—and devours it in five huge bites. "Shall we?"

Valera

For some reason, she's tempted to clap at that display. But no time for more banter, it's back to work. "We shall."

Alastor

Back to work. Time to watch Hamilton get shot again.

Valera

~~Boooooo give us a twist ending next time, add some leopards eating people's faces~~

Alastor

~~Hamilton is the leopard and he tries to eat Alastor's face for singing in the middle of his dramatic death~~

[jiffyjimin]

Crush Culture Pt.1

Title: Crush Culture

word count: 2k

Rating:M

Genre: Hybrid Au, Barista x reader, Romance (Eventual Smut)

warnings: mention of abuse

Pairings: Yoongi cat hybrid + Jungkook bunny hybrid x reader, ( Eventual Taehyung fox hybrid x reader)

summary: y/n works at a small cafe in the heart of Seoul. She has a busy life managing college and work, and has only recently realized how lonely she has become. That is, until she meets two hybrids in the alley behind the cafe who are in desperate need of her help. Suddenly her world is no longer lonely, but is it too much to handle? ——————————————————————————

PART 1

I ran full speed across the street and down the small sidewalk, managing to slam into the cafe’s door in the process. Once I opened the door, I was greeted by the one person I was hoping not to see today.

His name is Jackson. He’s been my coworker since I started working here at the Dream Bean Coffee Shop. The reason I don’t want to see said boy today, is because I missed my alarm by an hour and had to fly my ass out the door so I wouldn’t be late. Again. For the 5th time this month. This left me no time to fix my hair, so it’s currently in the messiest, ugliest bun I’ve ever laid eyes on. It’s not that I really want to impress him or anything, but I can’t help but shy away when his eyes glance over my appearance.

“Nice hair” jackson snickered.

If I didn’t think that laugh was sorta cute I probably would’ve smacked that smirk right off of his face.

“Yea yea. Whatever, at least I’m not late.” I sighed as I tied an apron around my waist.

If I had been late one more time I would’ve been fired and I really can’t afford to lose this job. I’m studying at the college nearby and in order to pay for both my apartment, and college, I really needed this job. Both of my parents are well off and send me money if I need it, but I hate it when they do that. I’d prefer to support myself, even though balancing school work and real work is proving to be a struggle.

I don’t have time to talk to my friends anymore and I’ve realized how lonely I actually am in my 2 bedroom apartment. When I first bought the apartment I thought I was going to move in with a friend, but that never worked out.

Jackson is the only friend I have left that I talk to constantly. He’s always there for me, even on my hardest days. We have a very strong friendship, and I plan to always keep in touch, even once I graduate and eventually move to a nicer area. We also agreed that if neither of us are married in 10 years that we’ll get married to eachother, but only for the sole purpose of saving money. There would be no romantic connection, ever.

“So. Why are you almost late this time?” Jackson asked, while pouring a drink for a coustomer. I shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him I overslept again.

“I uh.. was working on homework and lost track of time” I said, busing my hands by making a drink.

“I don’t believe that for a second. How late were you up? You know I worry about you not sleeping enough.” He said, a frown creeping it’s way onto his usually cheerful face.

“I wasn’t up that late.” I lied, while avoiding his soft gaze .

“I’m fine. You don’t need to worry” I sighed, placing a drink on the counter.

He suddenly placed his hands on my shoulders, causing me to look up at him. He was a lot closer than I expected, and I could feel my cheeks heat up. I don’t know if it was just because I wasn’t use to human affection, or if it was the fact that I was still a little self conscious of my scattered appearance.

“You know I can’t help but worry. I care about you y/n” he said, looking into my eyes meaningfully. He slid his hands down into a hug, and I hugged back. I sighed heavily into his shoulder, letting out all of the tension I had been holding in for the past week.

“Thanks. But really, I’m doing alright” I said genuinely. I looked up into his eyes and got lost in the golden flecks that encompassed a light honey brown. His eyes were always so soothing and I wasn’t sure why. I got chased out of my thoughts when a customer dinged the bell to get service.

I quickly spun around and rushed to the counter. I could hear a quiet sigh behind me and frowned a little. I don’t want him worrying about me, I’m figuring everything out.

“Hello what can I get for you today?” I took down the customers order and was about to start making it when Jackson snatched the cup out of my hand.

“I got it.” He smiled, running away before I could protest. I huffed, and decided to go restock the cups instead since they were running low. When I went to get them, I noticed the pile of garbage bags in the storage room and decided to take those out first.

I grabbed as many bags as I could fit into my weak noodle arms and shoved my way through the back door to the dumpster. The sight before me when I opened the door caused me to drop all of the bags, the glass inside one of them shattering everywhere.

There were two hybrids inside the dumpster, digging through bags looking for food. The only way I could distinguish them from normal humans was their ears peeking out of the trash. At first I thought they were just strays, and I was about to shoo them away, but then they peeked their heads out of the dumpster. One was a black long haired cat hybrid, and the other seemed to be a white rabbit hybrid. Their features were mesmerizing and they both had a soft kind of beauty. It wasn’t until I stood there starting at them that I realized they had cuts and bruises all over their bodies, and their fur was matter with both blood and dirt.

“Ah hah! Jackpot!” The bunny said, holding up a bag of stale buns that had been thrown away.

The cat lit up at the sight of food, but that’s when they both noticed my presence. I let out a small gasp and as they were jumping away from the dumpster I tried to get them to calm down.

“Wait! I won’t hurt you! I was just-“ I tried explaining what I was doing, but they had already started running back down the alley, as far away from me as possible.They were clearly being hurt by someone, or something, and don’t have any food. I felt really bad for them. And I hate that I scared them away.

As I stood there, trying to figure out what in the hell just happened, I felt a tap on my shoulder and screamed. As I spun around I was met with Jackson stumbling back at the sound I made.

“Oh uh- sorry I-“ he stampered and I just looked down and rubbed my face, exhausted.

“No, you’re fine. I just... never mind.” I said, deciding not to tell him about the hybrids I had seen. I’m going to try to leave food out for them, and I don’t want him scaring them away.

“Are you sure? What just happened?” He asked, motioning to the trash bags that are now leaking onto the floor since they ripped when I dropped them. I didn’t answer, and just began scooping up the trash and throwing the ripped bags into the dumpster. He didn’t ask any more questions and decided to leave it be, which I was happy for.

That night at the end of my shift, I left the hybrids the tray of leftover pastries that the cafe always threw away anyways. I’m not sure if they’ll come back after our encounter, but I’m hoping they do. I can’t get the image of all the bruises on their bodies out of my head. They deserve so much better. It really makes me sick that people think they can just get away with abusing hybrids like that. The whole hybrid system has always been a little messed up in my opinion.

There was a time where I thought about adopting one, but I hated the idea of more or less owning a person. As lonely as I was, I didn’t think it was right. If I ever did adopt a hybrid, I would treat them as equals, and not just as a pet. They are half human after all, and they deserve their own rights. The government is actually working on passing laws that allow hybrids to have more rights, such as being able to work, and not having to wear collars to be outside. If I run into them again, I’m hoping I can get them help in whatever way I can. I just need to earn their trust first, and the way to any mans heart, is FOOD!

I went home that night and had a hard time falling asleep. For some reason, I was worried sick about those two hybrids I had seen. What if they had gotten into trouble when they ran? How long have they been on the streets? There were so many unanswered questions and I just wish I could help.

I awoke the next morning, and was relieved that I didn’t have class today. I still had to go to the cafe however, but now I have something to look forward to when I got to work.

I got ready faster than normal, and rushed to the cafe. I ignored Jackson’s hello, and immediately rushed to the alley. The plate of pastries was completely empty to my relief. I smiled, and let go of a breath I didn’t even know I was holding. I couldn’t see them anywhere, but I know now that they must be staying quite close.

I grabbed a couple of bagels from the storage room and placed them on the tray from last night. This could hold them off before I get the leftovers again, assuming they don’t find food anywhere else. I’d rather be safe than sorry. I don’t want them to starve out there.

I’m not exactly sure why I suddenly started caring about them so much. They’re just two stray hybrids. There’s probably not much I can do, and they’re more trouble than it’s worth.

But when I think back to how cute the bunny was when his nose scrunched in excitement when he found the buns, and the way the cats fluffy tail did a little flick behind him, showing his eagerness, I can’t help but care. They’re just two innocent boys who got stuck in a bad situation.

I was halfway through my shift, and I was taking a small break for lunch. I let Jackson know I was going to the back room to eat, and he waved a hand in acknowledgment as he smirked at his phone. Sometimes he seems so nice, and then other times it’s like I’m not even there. I can’t really complain though, because if I ever actually needed him, there was no doubt that he’d be there for me.

I bit into my sandwich and started watching a YouTube video on my phone. I had my headphones in and couldn’t hear much around me. But, I could have sworn I heard a scream. At first I thought it might’ve just been the video I was watching, but then it got louder. I paused the video, and realized it was coming from outside.

I started to panic because I could hear men yelling loudly outside the door that led to the alley. I didn’t want to get involved, but I was just praying it had nothing to do with the hybrids.

I stayed behind the door and tried to listen, but once I heard two gunshots I opened the door, which was probably a mistake. The sight infront of me made me lose my breath. My knees began to shake and I had to hold the frame of the door so that I wouldn’t fall. I almost fainted when I saw how much blood there was.

There were three older men, surrounding the two hybrids from yesterday. They were holding guns and from what I could tell, the gunshots I had heard were aimed at the hybrids. Their shoulders bled prefusley and I let out a sob at the sight. Which was another mistake.

The three men turned to glare at me and one pointed a gun. I fell to my knees, thinking I would be shot. This was the end. Why did I let these hybrids become the death of me? I don’t even know them. God y/n you can be so stupid sometimes.

“She’s not worth it. Neither are these dumb muts” one of the men said, holding the gun away from me. I let out a quiet sigh as they started to leave. And once they were completely out of sight I caught my breath. I was panting, and I don’t know why.

As I was calming myself down, I realized the two hybrids were still laying against the wall, bullet wounds in their shoulders. I jumped up and rushed over to their sides. They flinched back and growled at me. The cat hissed and tried to swipe at me, but I dodged the weak blow.

“Woah woah woah. Calm down kitty. I’m just trying to help” I said keeping a distance to show that I meant no harm.

“Stay. Away.” The cat warned, his tail whipping angrily behind him. The way he snarled at me has me slightly afraid, but I knew with the condition they were in,they wouldn’t do any serious damage.

I crouched down to their level, to try to seem less intimidating and I think it worked because they seemed to growl less. I stared at the blood gushing out of their wounds and immediately ripped off my jacket. I tore off a sleeve and I reached out a shakey hand. I was going to try to tie it around the wound to apply pressure and stop the bleeding.

It was the bunny this time that growled as I approached. I didn’t even know bunnies could growl like that. It caused me to fall back a little onto my hand and scrape it against the concrete. I winced in pain and looked at my hands which were now slightly bleeding. The bunny’s gaze softened for a moment when he saw my hands, but then he returned to growling.

I just about had it. I’m just trying to help them and all theyre doing is growling at me. “Look. I’m just trying to make sure you don’t die. You can growl at me all you want, but please just let me help you.” I said, slightly irritated.

“Yeah. And why should we trust you?” The cat sneered , trying to push himself away from me.

“I know you probably don’t trust me. But I’m not like those men. I won’t hurt you... I promise” I sighed, looking at my hands. If they wouldn’t let me help them, then I would need to call for backup. There was no way I was going to leave them like this.

The bunny cried and held his shoulder. His ears were flat against his skull and he looked like he was about to pass out. The cat looked at the pain the bunny was in, and seemed to be having an internal battle with himself. He looked at me, his eyes burning into my soul.

“Fine. But so help me, if you even THINK about hurting him, or me, you’ll be dead. And that’s a promise.” The cat said sinisterly. But as his shoulders relaxed, I could tell he knew he needed my help. He just didn’t want to admit it to himself.

I reached forward hesitantly, and began wrapping the cloth around their wounds. I got a few growls here and there, but neither tried to stop me. The bunny had passed out as I was wrapping his shoulder, and that’s when I began to panic.

“Oh god. No! please hang in there.” I said, my breath ragged. I pulled his body forward and without thinking, placed his body over my shoulder. I stumbled backwards at his weight, but managed to keep myself standing.

“What do you think you’re doing?!” The cat hissed at my actions. Looking like he was ready to fight me again.

“Relax kitty. I’m taking you two to the doctor.” I said, trying to walk but failing with the weight of the bunny.

“Yeah, and how’s that working for you?” He almost laughed at my pitiful attempt to save them.

“And stop calling me kitty..” he growled, eyes narrowing in on me.

“Look!” I almost yelled.

“I’m trying my damn best. It’s not like I experience this every day. And it would really help if you would just cooperate so that you don’t both die.” I exclaimed, as I shifted the weight of the bunny on my shoulder, now able to walk a little easier.

The cat glared up at me, and let out a huff as he tried to stand up. “I didn’t ask for your help you know” he said, but continued to walk with me down the alley.

“I know. But here I am” I said, not looking at him. I could feel his gaze on my every move, and I thought I heard a quiet sigh come from him, but I might’ve been hearing things.

I directed them to my car which was about a block away, and carefully placed the bunny in the back seat. The cat looked at me skeptically, but got into the back with the bunny.

I drove as fast as I could to the hospital and immediately got them into a room to be taken care of. I waited outside of their room for what felt like ages, until a doctor finally came out.

“So good news! Your hybrids are going to be alright. The bullets didn’t go that deep, so we were able to extract them and sew up their wounds. They need to stay here for another day to heal, but after that they should be fine” the nurse explained. I didn’t have the heart to correct her when she said they were my hybrids.

“That’s great news! Thank you so much.” I let out a relieved sigh. I guess I could leave now that I know they are okay. But something inside told me to stay.

“You can go in and visit them now if you’d like.” The nurse said, opening the door to their room. I wasn’t sure if that was such a good idea, seen as they both hated me, but my feet were taking me into their room before I could even think.

I looked at the hybrids laying on the beds, their shoulders wrapped in gauze, and IVs sticking out of their arms. They hadn’t noticed my presence yet, so I cleared my throat. “Hey... uh..” I said, trying to think of something to say.

“Thank you.” The bunny whispered, catching me off guard.

“W-Wait wha-“ I stuttered, but he cut me off.

“Thank you for saving us. I’m sorry we were such trouble.” The bunny quietly said, twitching his nose in the process. My heart melted at his words and I could have died happily right there at the sight of this bunny shyly thanking me for saving his life.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I could do.” I said with a small smile.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to. You could have just finished us off like those men would have” the cat explained, looking at me with a slightly more aggressive look in his eye.

“But I guess, thank you.” The cat grumbled. The bunny gave a little huff and the cat whined.

“And... I’m sorry.” The cat exhaled, as if he were in trouble and were confessing his sins.

I chuckled at the cats attempt of an apology, but It meant a lot that he tried. “You’re welcome. But there’s really no reason to apologize. I probably scared you just as much as those men had. I really don’t blame you. If anything, I am sorry. And thank you for not killing me in return for this” I chuckled, which earned a small smirk from the cat.

“Who says I won’t?” He chuckled. If it weren’t for the small smirk he had, I might have actually believed his threat.

“I never got your names?” I said, hoping to learn more about them before I likely never saw them again.

“Yoongi. And this is Jungkook.” The cat- Yoongi said, pointing to the bunny- jungkook next to him, who’s little bunny tail twitched in response.

“Nice to meet you Yoongi, and Jungkook. My name is y/n” I smiled reaching a hand out, but then realized they can’t exactly move their arms right now. I awkwardly put my hand back down and the bunny chuckled. I couldn’t help the blush that creeped onto my cheeks.

“Yeah. It’s nice to meet you too..” the cat said, scanning me up and down. He still seemed quite guarded.

The nurse barged in suddenly and began typing something into a computer. “So.. it looks like we couldn’t pull up any information on these two. Would you happen to have their adoption papers?” The nurse asked me.

I shuffled awkwardly and glanced at the hybrids who just looked at their hands ashamed. “Uh... no. I don’t. They’re not mine” I explained, looking at the nurse unsure.

“Oh! I see. Well in that case, since they don’t have an owner, we’ll just have to take them to the pound.” She said, nochalantly.

“Pound?!” I said, my heart suddenly racing, I couldn’t let them be taken to the pound where they’ll likely end up in a bad situation again with a bad owner. I could hear the two hybrids whine behind me and I turned to them. They shared a terrified look and I wanted nothing more than to stop their fear.

“Unless that is.. you want to adopt them?” The nurse asked, looking at me curiously. I stood there shocked for a moment. There was no way. I mean, I do have an extra room at my apartment, but I work so much that I’d never be able to be there for them. And I’m probably not that great of an owner in general. They’d be better off finding some other owner.

But as I looked back at the two hybrids, they were both looking at me as if I were their last hope. I was the only one who could stop them from being further abused. I sighed, “um... would that. Would that be alright with you two?” I asked anxiously, studying their expressions to see if they would object.

“I just don’t want you to end up at the pound. And if for any reason, you want to leave and find someone else to stay with, I understand, and I won’t make you stay. I just want what’s best for you..” I said not meeting their gazes, at the fear of them saying they wanted nothing to do with me.

There was silence for a while and I began freaking out. “It’s alright. Really. I understand, I’m sure the pound isn’t-“ I began but was cut off.

“Yes.” Yoongi said.

I looked at him confused.

“We’re alright with staying with you.” He further explained. I sighed in relief and didn’t notice the bunny smiling at me weakly.

“You’ve given us no reason to fear you, and you’re right, you’re probably a better option than the pound.” Yoongi said, explaining his reasoning. I smiled and bowed my head slightly.

“But don’t expect us to be cuddling with you anytime soon. We still don’t know you” yoongi said giving me a side glare.

“Thank you for trusting me. I promise I won’t make you regret it.” I said, approaching their beds a little bit more. I saw them flinch, and it was then that I knew I got a little too excited too quickly. It would take them a long time to warm up to me, let alone fully trust me. They’ve been through so much, it’s selfish of me to want them to be comfortable with me right away. I just hope they eventually let their guard down.

—————————————————-

(I’ll eventually put the link to part two here)

Hello! Thanks for reading the first part of Crush Culture! I hope you all enjoyed it, and don’t be afraid to message me or request story ideas, or just to chat. This is my first big project I’m working on, so it’s probably not great, but I hope y’all still enjoy it :)) I hope you’re all doing good during quarantine💜 much love

Xx jiffyjimin

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #401

“my love is just waiting to turn your tears to roses”

Do you typically do your makeup the same each time? Or do you like to change it up often? IF I wear makeup, it's essentially always the same. Who is the last person you were in a room with just the two of you? What were you doing? Yesterday with Mom. We were trying to find the best deal on Eco Earth, a substrate we're getting for Venus. What was the last really good book you read, and what was it about? If we're talking REALLY good book, then The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood. In short summary, it's a dystopian future novel where women are now basically just objects used only for repopulation, even having their names stripped from them. They follow very strict rules as society has returned to horrible misogyny. As a woman, the "oh my god, this is possible" aspect of it is terrifying, and it causes such a sense of disgust and urge to ensure women rights always continue to be fought for. Do you feel safe in your country? For the most part, I'd say. I guess. There are places I'd feel safer, though. How many meals do you eat a day? Three. Have you ever performed a solo dance in front of a crowd? No, but I was supposed to my senior year in high school; the seniors at my dance studio were always welcome to do a solo in celebration. Mine was a modern dance to "Coma White" by Marilyn Manson, wanting to tell a story about depression and how being medicated could feel, but I eventually decided like halfway through learning the choreography that I was just too nervous to do a solo. Have you ever sung a solo? No. When you go to McDonalds, what drink do you usually get? Coke. Have you ever had to call and complain about a product you bought? No. Do you own a designer purse? Definitely not. I'm not wasting that much money on something like that. What’s the weirdest rumor you’ve ever heard about yourself? Apparently, Jason and I had a baby in high school even though I was obviously never pregnant. To my knowledge, it was started by his ex. Who is now a good friend of mine lmaooo. Life is funny. What was your favorite Saturday morning cartoon growing up? Pokemon, of course. Would you ever have an affair? Nope. Would you ever have a one night stand? Nope. Where you present at any major historical events (e.g. 9/11)? No. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization? Legalize it, but treat it similarly to alcohol in that driving under the influence is illegal and punishable, and I believe you should be of a certain age. How about abortion? I am pro-choice. I was pro-life most of my own life, but now I am very firm about a mother being able to choose if she wants to endure a pregnancy or not. Like, that is a MASSIVE life event that almost inevitably changes - and sometimes traumatizes - people. I do believe a fetus is its own body and not part of the mother's, but rather in the mother's, but the belief that a woman decides what she wants in her body is her choice, too. I'm not very fond of people treating abortion as a simple, regular form of birth control, like it's nothing but an "lol whoops," but I still believe it is ultimately her decision, and she should always be free of judgment for doing what is best for her. Do you wear skirts or dresses more often? Neither. I wouldn't dare wear a skirt more so, though. What do you think about tipping at restaurants? There should always be an expected minimum, imo, unless the person was truly, sincerely, genuinely fucking awful. Waiters do not have an easy job, fight me about it, and they're just trying to survive while putting on a happy, jovial face, all the while dealing with hungry people who can be such assholes. I believe the actual tip should relate to actual service, but again, give them something. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes? One, absolutely. The other would take a shitload of consideration and proper communication on his part. Do you have a preferred coffee brand? No, because I don't like coffee. Do you usually befriend your coworkers, or do you prefer to keep work separate from your personal life? IF I had a job, I'd like to build a friendship with those I have to engage with almost every day. What is something you frequently forget? Dates, ages, names, what I was about to do five seconds before I forgot... Pretty much everything. My memory is frightfully poor. Is there any drama currently going on with your family? No. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? In my bed. Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you? Both; my parents split when I was somewhere around 17, though, but I'd say there wasn't much more "raising" to do at that age. Have you ever stolen anything? If so, why? No. Have you ever plagiarized someone else's work? Hell no. What's your most-used mode of transportation? My mom's car. Have you ever taught someone else a useful skill? Not to my recollection. Does seeing everyone else's 'perfect lives' posted on social media ever bring you down or affect how you feel about yourself? It actually does, honestly. Not ALWAYS, but if I'm being honest, it does most of the time. I've contemplated deleting Facebook for that reason, but with is also comes things that make me happy, and I think I'd feel even more isolated without it. What is your favorite Hostess/Little Debbie snack? This is SO impossible for me to answer. I loooove Hostess and Little Debbie treats. I want to say honeybuns, but I also love those chocolate cupcakes with the white swirls on top, as well as Twinkies. Very few exist that I don't like. Do you/your family buy loafs from the bakery or bagged on the shelf? We just buy bagged bread. What’s the best news you’ve gotten lately? My APAP mask is definitively WORKING!!!!! :') Mom got an app that connects to the machine via Bluetooth that monitors the effectiveness of the mask, evaluating many factors of your sleep, and it's detecting a definite decrease in disruptive behaviors or something like that. It is so, SO encouraging to know that. ^And, the worst? Hm. Oh, probably some news on something serious a good friend is going through, but I don't feel it's my right to disclose what. It's just a very worrying and potentially dangerous issue that I wish I could help her with. Would you rather receive (or give) flowers, chocolates or jewelry? I'd appreciate any, but my fat ass is drawn to the chocolate, ha ha. What *I* would give would vary depending on what the person liked. How do you feel about coconut? Smells lovely, but is otherwise gross. ^ Ever cracked one open? No, but omg I've always wanted to, haha. What’s the best thing about being your gender? I guess the fact it's more "normal" and "accepted" to show our emotions. Fuck that generalization, though. I don't give a shit what your gender is, you experiencing emotions is NORMAL and welcomed to be expressed. ^ And the worst thing? The ability to be raped and impregnated by it. Do you do your part to save the earth? I don't do nearly enough. :/ We recycle, but that's about it. Well, none of us DARE to litter either, but I still don't feel like it's as much as the earth deserves from its denizens. Who do you think should have their portrait on a bill? I don't know or care. Why did you last feel exhausted? Yesterday was my niece's birthday, and I spent essentially ALL day playing with her and her brother. I have a very limited battery when it comes to kids, and I was running on empty for hours. My anxiety was SO high and I really needed a break from them, but they're too young to really understand that Aunt Britt can only socially run for so long before I'm completely burnt out, and TRUST ME, I was there for sure. I didn't want them to think they did something wrong, you know? I just had to keep going. I slept like a baby last night though for sure, haha. Have you ever used emotional blackmail to get your own way? Wow, no. Has anybody ever used emotional blackmail on you? No. Who did you last worry about and why? Sara for health reasons. Are you currently looking for a new place to live? Not actively, but Mom and I definitely want to move. We feel very out-of-place here in the suburbs. Which would you prefer as a view; mountains or the sea? Mountains. Do you have a mouse for your laptop? (Assuming you have a laptop) Yes. I canNOT play games with a trackpad. Do you apologize a lot? Extremely excessively. When you get married what do you think you’ll put most of your focus and money into? Do you mean like, for the wedding? In that case, probably the venue. Being a photography buff, I want a place I think is really pretty to have pictures taken. What’s something you complain about frequently? My legs hurting, my weight, and being hot. Do you have anything planned for the summer? Nope, and that's fine with me. I'd rather stay inside away from the heat. Who usually makes dinner in your household? My ma. Do you have a blog? Just on Tumblr. Does anyone in your family snore loudly? My mother does because of gerd, and at least when my father still lived with us, he snored super loud, too. Do you want to fix anything with anyone? Yeah, a few people. What shows do you watch? Right now, only Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Whenever The Edge of Sleep comes out, I will 110% be watching that, too, because Mark is a key actor in it. :') Plus the concept seems super cool. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? I don't know. Who was the last person you had a conversation with on the phone? Me mum. Does the song you’re currently listening to remind you of anyone specific? No, given it has like... one lyric, haha. Do you own any TV show soundtracks? No. Last thing you did that made you feel like an adult? I mean I guess sign myself in at the doctor's. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? Oh my god, there's a candid one I got of Mom laughing when she was posing as my subject for a photography assignment, and I cherish it with ALL my heart. I want to share it with essentially the whole world, but yeah, I'm not gonna put my mom's picture here. As for my dad, I like this one I took of us at Red Lobster for his birthday a year or two back. Last TV show series you finished? Fullmetal Alchemist with Sara. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? Regular. What US state would you like to visit? Alaska. Last meal you made yourself? I put a chicken pesto thing in the microwave earlier for dinner.

[literalbuzzkill]

Below I'm gonna vent so y'all can ignore that XD

I'm basically making this post as a timestamp/reminder for myself about Covid2020 and what I had to deal with during it (even though it's still a relentlessly ongoing problem, as of Jan2021, yikes)

Below is my personal experience in switching from working everyday as an essential retail worker to now a stay at home unemployed/leave of absense person. Don't feel bad about not reading it, it's long, boring, and I can't really expect anyone to actually be interested because the struggle is real and who wants to be reminded of the grim reality we can't currently escape? XD

[The Start:]

I was still working retail up until a few months ago because most people left. And being short staffed already before covid at my store, things became an even worse unmanageable nightmare because they started to work the remaining staff to death because no one really knew what to do which sucked and everyone was rightfully afraid of what was happening all around them, plus everyone internally was hoping that this would all blow over in a decent amount of time and we could all return to normal and never speak of it again. Considering Covid started around late January/early February in 2019 and today's date (for my future reference) is Jan 4th 2021, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it certainly has not blown over in a decent amount of time like originally hoped for. Oof.

I was a closer but because of covid my job turned into 'every position at the store and everything/anything that you can possibly get done'. All the stuff from morning team, mid shift, and nightshift rolled into one. Cashiering, phone calls, cleaning, ship from store, backroom, covering multiple breaks, and every department on hardlines salesfloor,

(I did everything except for guest services, food service, clothing, and hr)

you name it XD because most people abandoned ship and Yeeted (which I dont blame them for, t'was a big mood) our store did not hire replacements until literally a few months ago. After I left. Nice.

We were not getting paid any extra, having to stay late, running around with an unending unfinishable list, having to deal with rude customers and cranky bosses, full 8+hour shifts having to wear a mask (even in the break room, and sometimes missing breaks all together because of the large work load) Another problem, my job did not supply masks, proper cleaning supplies, gloves etc to us until an unacceptable amount of time had passed since the start of the virus. Now I didn't expect them to be stocked and fully prepared immediately, obviously.

It was also pretty frustrating getting reprimanded by customers when supplies were low everywhere and some things necessary for existing safely could not be bought anywhere due to high demand, which was only natural, but some people actually acted like it was our personal fault for the store for being sold out of things like hand sanitizer, masks, gloves, toilet paper, and even accused us for holding it in the back for ourselves (which wasnt the case, customers are top priority at our store so the workers usually got nothing to take home or buy, even if we had pulled it from the truck or stocked it ourselves.)

Aside from the excessive draining from normal retail where we already suffer from Karen's and the often unpleasant general public, the Rona made the daily grind even more intense, as if we already thought it couldn't get any worse.

Straying away from that for a second, personal lives were now also affected greatly. Added on top of this new fear/caution/lifestyle was not being able to see my fiance or his family for months because they are all at very high risk. (Unfortunately I am too, but I really needed the paycheck so I thought I had to keep working until the inevitable, which was not looked forward to, but as long as I was potentially exposed with my job we all had to be apart unless I decided to quit and risk not having enough money to pay my bills or survive.)

(Side note for context: My fiance and I have been very lucky enough to see eachother almost every day for 4 years. Surprisingly we have not gotten sick of eachother yet and kept up with that regularity. And though we are engaged, we dont live together, but we do only live 15 minutes away so we just drive over to eachother everyday. Anyway, point being that going months without seeing him at all killed me internally hardcore. This was before zoom was popular and we were not about to resort to Skype. His parents are older and closer to me than my own family and were not comfortable with any form of in-person visits so we usually just did phone calls.)

And eventually I gave up,

I made it halfway through this pandemic working everyday, not seeing the only people I considered family, and I couldn't do it anymore. It literally didn't feel human.

Not to mention this did not help whatsoever with my pre-existing problems, bad depression, anxiety, ptsd, Self h, etc... it was all just getting way too out of hand with more stress piling up daily and taking too big a toll on me to the point where I couldn't deal with my regular lifestyle anymore. I needed a break and a change to severely turn myself around.

So a few months ago I finally went on leave of absence and it was the hardest thing for me to do but honestly the best thing I did. Because everything was so uncertain and I worried about how helpful unemployment would be towards my bills, if I'd lose my job for being gone too long due to an open ended leave of absense for the sake of my health/safety, and honestly I loved my job and my coworkers, but many of them had already left so at that point it became easier for me to leave.

I'm currently making more on unemployment than my job was paying my bi-weekly and doing leagues better mentally, emotionally, and physically, than before when I thought I could last the whole time working through covid hoping I wouldn't catch it and probably die because my health is not 100% gucci in the first place. I was too stubborn to quit until I got to a breaking point and then realised that putting my health/life on the line when I'm at risk during a pandemic for literally no reason other than feeling bad for my one really kind boss (who ended up leaving for a better job anyway right after I left)

in my brain the whole time I figured "eh if I die then I die" but there was a major upside to saying "you know what, fuck this" and leaving.

I've gotten to take up hobbies and do things that I've wanted to do for like 10 years, I improved my financial situation, bought my dream car(A 2004Crossfire), got engaged to the love of my life, had more time to read, write, learn, create, help my fiance record his first official music video, support smaller businesses, get back in better physical health, regain stability, and a new respect for life, health, friends, family, acts of kindness, and how easy things used to be before covid and how it was unintentionally taken for granted.

Not gonna lie, at first I was pretty mad that people on unemployment made more than essential workers, but I also knew that it wasn't their fault for their personal situations or reasonings for needing it. The problem was mainly that many Companies/jobs could have done more, treated essential workers better, given more help, compensated financially, offered forms of protectionagaint the virus, or done literally anything extra at all to help employees who were struggling or who stay to continue working there during a terrible pandemic, and some companies/jobs have done good things for their workers in response of the outbreak which is awesome.

Workers should absolutely be compensated for their extra efforts, time, and pleasant attitude in this difficult time, and treated better than they are. Some things should 1000% be different but some things in this world are still a work in progress.

And also, for people with health issues that are at risk but working anyway for whatever reason, there shouldn't be any shame felt for taking care of yourself or by the people who have to go on unemployment, those who can't work, lost their jobs, need help or a break, or just can't do it anymore, because it hits hard when you realise that even though your effort is important and you're doing your best, playing an important role in society, you could also be risking your health/life or even possibly someone you live withs, for a company that will replace you pretty easily if you're suddenly gone.

I worked at my store for 4 years, was extremely hard working and did everything and anything I could to stay as long as I could during this, but I realised that I'd rather not risk myself and be treated how I was.

Ultimately, the sad reality is that covid has some people forgetting that humans (whether working or not) are humans too that can die or fail at any time given the current circumstances. Some situations are unavoidable like a pandemic, but we can do our best with whatever reality we meet, whether it's being essential the whole way through like some are able, and knowing your health well enough to be able to judge what's best for you individually for now.

but regardless making sure you're not taking yourself for granted in the process.

I'm lucky enough to not have gotten covid yet, and I hope it stays that way.

If your job isnt doing what it can for you in this time, dont be too stubborn about staying

Its not worth risking yourself for your job honestly, and I really hope peoples jobs do as much as they can for those they employ.

If you aren't working, do something with your time that you'll remember (safe things obviously) and if you are still working keep up the awesome progress, stay safe, and be blessed. ❤

[justjessame]

A Reluctant Hero Chapter 7

Kelsey followed me home when I retrieved my car from the bar parking lot. Once at the house, she mentioned she was going to take a nap, and I rolled my eyes as she gave my cell phone a loaded glance. Honestly, just because I had JD’s number now, didn’t mean I was going to call him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to, aside from the fact that even drunk me had great taste in wanting him naked and sweaty, I hadn’t exactly been at my best when we met. And knowing that he was fresh out of a situation of his own wasn’t all that inspiring for starting up something with him.

Rebound. That’s what we’d be for one another. If I called him up, if we pursued whatever spark we might have felt, it would flare hot and bright and then fizzle out. That’s what rebounds were. The way to cleanse the palette before you find a lasting relationship. Hell, books were written about this shit. Not that I’d ever read them, but still. It was common fucking knowledge. No matter the age, you don’t stay with whomever comes right after a breakup.

With that in mind, I didn’t call him. I tried very fucking hard to NOT think about him between shit I did to keep busy. Stuff like editing my newest book, or starting another story. No, JD Richter was NOT going to work for a rebound. IF I gave him a call, it wouldn’t be for a fast and hot affair, because even drunk, hungover, and a tad bit stupid, I knew that JD would be wasted as a rebound fling. He was the type of man that a woman should want to hook, mount, and keep forever. Anyone who didn’t see that was a fucking idiot.

He broke first. Four days after I woke up in his bed, my phone rang and I didn’t even pay attention to who the caller was because I was engrossed in the writing of a new chapter to a new book. Answering it almost absently, it took a moment for my brain to disengage from the computer in front of me and HEAR the voice speaking to me.

“I’m sorry, who did you say was calling?” No, I thought, it couldn’t be-

That deep rumble of a laugh and I could swear it vibrated through the phone and I could feel it in my toes. “Forgot me already, Ani? That stings.” I swallowed loudly. Shit. “JD? Kelsey’s dad? Prince Charming since I put Cinderella’s shoes back on?”

I had to shake my head at that comparison. “Pretty sure Cindi didn’t lose her shoes because she was shitfaced, but I won’t deny that you were my hero.” Another chuckle from his end. “Sorry I was in the middle of writing and-”

“I should let you go?” He was asking, not agreeing.

“No,” my voice had grown quiet, and I wanted to smack myself from how needy I sounded. “It’s fine, I can pick it back up anytime.”

“I’m sorry I had to rush out the other day,” he offered, and I thought I heard the sound of liquid flowing into a glass. “Work, it never ends.” Kelsey had filled me in on how he’d lost his license, but after the truth had come out, fought to get it back.

‘Work’s important. Pays the bills, right?” I stood up from my desk and wandered to my kitchen. “I hope it wasn’t something gruesome.”

We chatted about what he did for a living, and as we spoke, I made a late lunch. “What’s that noise on your end?” He asked, clearly picking up the sound of me setting the pan on my stove, and the sounds of me assembling my ingredients.

“I’m making lunch,” looking at how late it was, I realized it was too late for even the latest lunch. “Maybe dinner, actually.”

“You cook?” The interest in his voice was clear.

I grinned as I worked at chopping and measuring. “Well, I have to eat, so learning to make something a little more filling than peanut butter sandwiches seemed like a good idea.” I could swear I heard him smile. “You don’t cook?”

“Never seem to have the time,” he answered and it was my turn to smile. “I haven’t had a home cooked meal-”

“Are you jockeying for an invitation, JD?” It went quiet on his end, and I considered taking it back, but then I thought fuck it. “There’s more than enough for two.”

I heard rustling from his end, and then the telltale jingle of a set of keys. “I’ll be right over.”

Once I had dinner steadily bubbling and baking, I took a look at my appearance and was thankful that I’d taken that very cold shower earlier. Rushing to my bedroom, I grabbed something that was attractive, but not overly done up. Another pair of skinny pants, this time in a faux buttery leather and a loose fitting tank, my hair was piled up on my head and I forewent shoes. My house, no need for heels.

I was back in the kitchen, putting the finishing touches on the simmering pots, when my visitor was announced. Giving the OK for him to enter, I waited as he made his way to the dining room, and called out for him to take the door to the right. I made a note to have my AI, Pandi, freeze frame the look on JD’s face when he walked into the room.

My kitchen, like the rest of my house, was dark wood and rustic looking. The stove wouldn’t have looked out of place in a restaurant, nor would the refrigerator and the huge stone sink was always an eye opener. I gestured for him to have a seat on one of the stools lining the huge island, and asked him what he’d like to drink.

“I thought the rest of your house was impressive, but this?” He was still taking in details, and I smirked as he finally met my eyes. “Wow.” Giggling, I asked him what his drink preference was again, and he finally accepted a beer.

I waited until he took a long drink, and shook my head at how easily and comfortable he seemed to fit into my house. I had a glass of tea, since I was planning on keeping clear of any type of alcohol for the foreseeable future, I moved back to the stove and once again we fell into conversation.

I was taking out a dish from the oven, along with the bread I’d put in to warm, when he finally asked the most important question of all. “What are we having, Ani?”

Italian, my preference on any given day, was what we were having. And we ate at the island, side by side, talking as he complimented me on every single part of our meal. I loved watching people appreciate the meals I cooked, Kelsey raved every time she came over for lunch or dinner, and her dad was no different. I had a flash of Roger not being all that interested in what I cooked, his focus more on eating things that would keep him fit and trim, clearly to catch all those willing coeds.

“You just flinched,” he offered, as he swallowed another bite. “What were you thinking about?”

I huffed out a breath that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “Roger, the ex.” He was studying me. “I just realized, he never seemed to like what I cooked.”

“Fucking idiot.” JD muttered, and I smiled. “That man must have been blind and stupid.” He was still staring, I could feel the heat of his gaze even as my attention returned to my own plate. “What kind of moron screws around on-”

I stopped him. Too dangerous territory. Too close to crossing that invisible line that I wanted him to fucking know existed. “Yeah, well, hindsight.” Taking a sip from my glass, I changed the subject to work.

He helped me clean up, putting leftovers in bowls, one of which I insisted he take with him and loading the dishwasher. We were seated in my living room, a fire flickering in the fireplace because that’s the entire point of having a fireplace, JD nursing a second beer and me still drinking tea.

“Tell me about your family,” he asked, his chair facing the sofa I was lounging on.

I sat up and set my glass on the coffee table. “My family?” Leaning back again, I thought about it. “My mom died when I was really little,” I was five, she had passed away after a long illness, one that even my dad couldn’t fix. “Dad’s a doctor, infectious diseases, and he didn’t really understand my artsy nature.” I smirked, thinking about how aghast he’d been when I came up with a B- for my science classes, and that C for math would forever haunt him. “He liked the outdoors, and since I’m his only kid, I learned to like them too.” I loved the outdoors, the forests, the rivers. Lakes and mountains were my playground growing up. “He really didn’t understand my choice in men.” Like Dr. Aaron Myles, his coworker who was very slightly younger than him, who he caught bending me over a lab table when I was nineteen. “Other than my parents, the extended family isn’t really close. Reunions, holiday cards, you know, the normal.”

“Other than the idiot box you dated recently,” I chuckled at the description. “What wasn’t understandable about your choices?”

Damn inquisitive minds, I thought, but shrugged. What the hell, let’s warn him ahead of time. “Older men, usually his colleagues.” I heard, rather than saw, JD’s inhale. “I was an adult, I swear,” most of the time, I flashed on that one fling and felt a blush rise. “It’s just that-” I was very very irritable at the idea that I had daddy issues, so I had this conversation a LOT over the years. “Men who have more experience, tend to treat women better, you know?”

My eyes met his and I realized that JD was older than me. Maybe not as old as my dad, maybe not as old as my oldest lover, but he was. And his eye color, that molten caramel that had drawn my interest when I’d finally been able to focus my eyes, had gone so dark that pinpointing his pupils would have been a challenge. I bit my lip and his eyes focused on the movement. Shit. Not good.

“How about your family?” I tossed out before we both did something that I would fucking regret when it went to shit.

JD smirked, clearly understanding my attempts at diverting the conversation into safer territories, but I had to think he didn’t really know why. He reminded me that I knew Kelsey and had met his ex wife, but I shook my head. “So you were hatched from an egg and didn’t know your parents?”

He laughed, full bodied at my silly joke. Then he told me about his upbringing. His stint in the military. His path to his current profession. He gave out his life’s story as easily as I did, which wasn’t as common as people might think.

“And you just got out of a-” I stopped, shocked at my line of questioning. Shit. Nope, Ani, not that.

“Molly,” he offered, his eyes still on mine. “Molly Woods.” I nodded. “That was a very weird situation.”

I waited, unsure if I wanted to hear about the woman he kept company with before. I knew his ex wife, the mother of his daughter, but this was fresh. “You don’t have to-”

“It’s ok,” he smiled at me and I had to return it. “I’m a grown up, I can handle talking about it.”

I nodded and he told me about meeting her at a crime scene. How he thought she was insane, given where she’d been staying it made sense, but then he found out the victim had been pregnant, just like she’d warned. He told me how it went from her roofieing him to him being called a terrorist for helping her. How that snowballed into intimacy and how, eventually, he realized that she needed her people more than the two of them needed one another.

“Do you still talk?” My fucking curiosity was going to make me want to jump off a cliff soon.

“Not much,” he answered, leaning forward to sit his beer down on the coffee table. “What we had wasn’t supposed to last, Ani, but we became friends.”

I smiled and let my eyes focus on the view behind him, outside the panel of glass. The green of the forest creeping closer, the darkness not obscuring the leaves that seemed close enough to touch.

“Ani,” my eyes found his again, and I swallowed at the look in his eyes. “Come here.”

Oh no, not happening. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” My tongue felt like it weighed a thousand pounds.

He bit his lip as he studied me and I felt the burn from that simple gesture all the way down my body. “Why isn’t it?” Shit.

“Rebounds are never a good idea, JD.” Still sounded as dry mouthed as when I woke up in his bed. The thought of a bed and JD increased the burn.

“Then don’t call it a rebound, Ani.” Fucker, I thought, trying for logic and wordplay. “Come here.” He crooked his finger this time and I could swear he had a fucking string attached to it and my body, the yearning was so strong to give in.

“No,” I wanted it to come out strong and clear, but instead it sounded scared and uncertain. “You come here,” wait, what? Fuck, Ani, not helping.

And then he was over top of me, his weight pressing down on mine, and at the first touch of his lips on mine, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had fucked up majorly. Because I had no fucking doubt whatsoever that when this ended, I’d be crushed. Fucking crushed, because with one kiss, I was addicted to JD Richter, and we weren’t even fucking naked.

We didn’t get naked. Not when Kelsey’s voice called out from the door that connected her apartment to the house.

“Ani?” She was growing closer, and JD had pulled back and was grinning as he stayed hovering over me. “I saw Dad’s truck outside and-” She was standing in the threshold of the living room when she stopped speaking and I felt the burn go from lust to embarrassment that his daughter and my best friend had caught him on top of me, with my hands locked around his neck and his slithering under my shirt. “Ah, hey, Dad.”

He was chuckling as he answered her greeting, and I felt like sinking into the sofa and dying. It was one thing for Kels to tell me that she was alright with the two of us, but catching us? That was too fucking much.

JD left a little later with his leftovers, and I had to shake my head as he ignored his daughter’s presence and kissed me with enough passion to make the wood of my house catch fire. Then he smirked down at me, promised to call, and was gone.

I turned to face Kelsey and rolled my eyes at her trying to hold back her own laughter. “Really?” I asked, shaking my head and heading back to the kitchen. “Want me to heat up dinner?”

“Gonna use your face?” She offered, still laughing. “The red of that blush is throwing off enough heat that I have to believe the microwave won’t be needed.” If I keep rolling my eyes, they’re gonna stick that way. “Jesus, you’re a fucking adult, Ani, why are you so embarrassed?”

I shot her a look. “Because he’s your DAD, Kels.”

Shrugging, she took the plate I’d fixed for her from my hands and sat on the same stool her dad had earlier. “So? He’s not YOUR dad, Ani, that would be cause for fucking embarrassment.”

Jesus, the Richters were going to be the death of me.

[crystalninjaphoenix]

Pick Your Poison

Switch AU

So this had to happen eventually. And when I really look at the events that have occurred in the normal universe so far, I realized it had to happen sooner rather than later. I absolutely do not want to say anything more. It would be best if it stayed a surprise *evil laughter* But I will say that it involves Schneep and Jackie, and that’s all you’re getting ;)

More of this AU found here

“Henrik, what are you doing back there?”

Schneep pulled off his headphones, stuffing them back in his backpack. God, he really had to be more aware of his surroundings when back here. He managed to zip up his pack just as Jennifer, his coworker, poked her head into the back room. “Just listening to music.”

“Well, alright. It’s almost lunch, though, so you might want to get out here.” Jennifer disappeared again.

“Understood.” Schneep pushed his backpack behind the nearest table. They should really get lockers in the back room. Not only would it be convenient, not only would it prevent random thefts, but it would save him a lot of worrying. He didn’t like thinking about people finding the police scanner he hid in his backpack and listened to on break. That would be awkward at best, and a giveaway of his secret vigilante identity at worst. He sighed. He was basically having to juggle two full-time jobs, and sometimes it was more stressful than he thought it was worth.

But then again, if he didn’t have a job he wouldn’t be able to afford an apartment and superhero gear. He kept that in mind as he pulled on his apron and headed back out into the front of the coffee shop. Jennifer, manning the percolators, glanced at him. “Hey. So before you do any sort of work, I think someone just walked in who’d want to see you.” She grinned, and jerked her head towards the entrance.

“Hmm? Oh.” Schneep smiled. He approached the counter, waving down the pair who’d just entered. “Hello Anti. And William, nice to see you. What brings you here?”

“Came to see if they’d fired you yet,” Anti said, grinning.

“Ha! No such luck, I am afraid.”

William jumped, red curls bouncing as he gripped the edge of the counter. “Hi Uncle Hen!”

“Also I need a hot chocolate,” Anti added. “Small size. And a medium ristretto.”

“And a cake pop?” William asked hopefully.

“Alright, fine,” Anti agreed. “But just for today.”

“Ah, I’d think you only use me for my connections, Anti,” Schneep muttered with a smile, writing down the order on two cups. He turned to leave, but found Jennifer interrupting him, taking the cups with a smile and a glance. “Oh! Okay, I suppose we can talk.”

“Nice.” Anti looked down at Will. “Hey, kid? Want to go find a comfy seat while we wait?”

“Yeah!” Will jumped up one more time before scurrying off.

“So, what is the occasion?” Schneep asked.

“Well, Will just started spring term, so I promised him a treat if he got through the first week,” Anti said. “And it’s all cold outside, so hot chocolate made sense.”

“Is unusually snowy, I will say that,” Schneep agreed. “It was very cold walking to the bus earlier.”

“Yeah, I know. Nearest stop’s like fifteen minutes away from here, I have no idea how you manage to do that every day in winter, it totally sucked today.”

“I have been colder.” Schneep shrugged. “Do you have any plans today?”

“Nothing new. Maybe some more recording.” Anti suddenly perked up. “Oh. Hey, how are you liking that game I told you to play?”

Schneep froze, suddenly glaring at him. “I hate you.”

“Whaaaat? Why?” Anti was trying very hard not to laugh.

“I knew something was up from the very beginning. I thought, wow, it is odd that he told me to play this since it’s very cute, there must be some dark twist inside it. But then!” Schneep threw a hand in the air. “I got too attached to them! And I was not expecting the entire second half! The game just decided to kill everyone and it was terrible!”

Anti was giggling now. “But you had fun, right?”

“It was...interesting,” Schneep conceded. “I can see why it is your favorite, it does all those programming things. And it was honestly scary.”

“Great! Now you can check out the videos I did on it,” Anti said cheerfully. “Who do you like best?”

Schneep rolled his eyes. “Actually, I liked Monika. She was very...fascinating. I wondered a lot about her.”

“That’s fair. I like Natsuki.”

“Really? I think you have more in common with Yuri.”

“You’re only saying that because of the knives.” Anti hesitated for a second. “I do...relate to her the most. But that doesn’t make her personality interesting.”

“I am never playing any game you tell me to play ever again,” Schneep mumbled. “I am never trusting you ever.”

“When should you ever trust me?” Anti grinned. “Anyway, do you have any plans today? Since you asked about mine.”

Schneep looked at the clock mounted on the wall. “Well, my shift ends in two and a half hours, and after I get home Jackie is coming over.”

“Oh? And you didn’t invite me. Wait!” Anti held up a finger, thinking. “This is that thing you told me about last week. Batman movies?”

Schneep nodded. “If you have changed your mind you are free to come. We plan on ordering pizza.”

“Hmm, tempting. But I think I’ll pass.”

“If you insist.” Schneep glanced away. “Hey, I think Jennifer has your order now.”

“Oh? So she does.” Anti looked over. “You like her?”

“She is friendly, yes,” Schneep said slowly. 

“Good, I don’t need to be a bi—a jerk about anything.” Anti grinned again. “Heh, there are kids here. Anyway, text you later?”

“Sure. I will see you.”

———————

Two hours and forty-five minutes later, Schneep walked outside to find dusk waiting for him. He scowled vaguely at the sky. It was barely five o’clock. Stupid winter nights. The sun hadn’t set yet, but he had a hunch it would if he waited around for an hour. But he had no intention of waiting that long. He zipped up his coat, adjusted his scarf, made sure his backpack was secure on his shoulders, and started walking.

Fifteen minutes. It was only fifteen minutes walking to the bus stop. What could happen in fifteen minutes? Apparently a lot. About halfway to the stop, a pair of hands reached out and pulled Schneep into the gap between two buildings.

Schneep cried out, but found a hand covering his mouth. Instincts kicked in, and he stomped down hard on the assailant’s foot, simultaneously jabbing his elbow backwards. The hands released, and he gasped, looking around. There was no one in sight. Or at least, no one he could see in the shadows. He shook his head, and started towards the street, only for his vision to waver and blur. Between one blink and the next, he was suddenly staring at a wall. He turned around, looking back towards the street, only for the same thing to happen again.

He groaned. Not again. “Okay, where are you?” he said, spinning around. “I know it’s you.”

Silence. And then the slight sound of laughter. “Clever boy.” The world suddenly shifted its view as the illusions faded away. Distorter was leaning against one of the building walls by the entrance to the street. Still smiling. Still dripping blood from his eyes and the wound on his head. “You know, there’s one good thing about you. It’s so easy to make fake things in your mind. Because of your...” He twirled a finger beside his head, the sign for cuckoo. “You know?”

Schneep flinched, then growled. “You gang up on me when I am walking home? Really? Were you getting tired of having an even playing ground?” All the past times he’d fought Distorter had been at night, when he was out on patrol and had his suit and gear with him. But now? He didn’t have anything. And that made him wary.

“I like how you make everything about you. And let’s be honest, were you really doing such a good job before?” Distorter pushed away from the wall, reaching above his head and stretching backwards. And kept bending backwards, until several cracks echoed through the alleyway. Schneep took a few steps backwards. Distorter laughed, righting himself. “Don’t worry, this’ll only take a few minutes.”

“No thank you.” Schneep turned around and ran, intending to make it to the other end of the alley and out onto the street. But he only got a few steps in before he ran into something solid with a smack! He stumbled backwards, rubbing his forehead as the world shifted again, showing how he’d been running right into a wall.

Distorter laughed. “Wow, I wish I had a video of that. I could play it in a loop.”

“Motherfucker,” Schneep said, glaring at him.

“Oh, I know. Now stay still.” Distorter took one step backwards, and then launched forwards.

Schneep yelled in surprise, ducking to the ground and rolling out of the way before he even knew what he was doing. Distorter crashed against the wall, but didn’t seem bothered by it in the slightest, just pushing away for a second attack. Schneep scrambled to his feet, backing up while keeping one hand against the wall to make sure it was really there. The moment Distorter was in range he shot out with a fist, connecting solidly with his face. Distorter stumbled back, then laughed. He suddenly dropped to the ground like a ragdoll. Schneep found his feet being pulled out from under him. He cried out as he fell to the ground, barely managing to catch himself before he could hit the back of his head against the cement.

“Wow, not so tough without your lightning gadgets, are you?” Distorter’s nails were digging into his shoulder, blood dripping on Schneep’s face from the creature’s eyes and nose. “Now stay. Still.”

Schneep managed to fling an arm out, fist connecting with the side of Distorter’s head, snapping it to the left. “If you want to kill me, I will not go down without fighting.”

Distorter recovered easily, grin unphased. “Who said I wanted you dead? Well, yet.”

Schneep opened his mouth to retort, but instead suddenly gasped as he felt a sharp pain in his midsection. For a moment, it felt like a strong punch, and then he felt wet leaking.

“Have fun with that.” And between one blink and the next, Distorter seemed to disappear.

Schneep climbed into a sitting position, pressing a hand to the painful spot. Did...did Distorter just stab him? That...was different. He couldn’t remember that creature ever using a knife before. Slowly, with the help of the nearby wall, he stood up and walked back out onto the street. He looked down. It wasn’t bleeding too badly. And he’d been stabbed before, and this didn’t feel like the worst wound he’d had. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. He unwound the scarf from around his neck, unzipped his coat—no, this was his only winter coat, and it had just been ruined!—and pressed the balled-up scarf to the wound. He had a first aid kit at home. He could probably get there quickly, provided the bus was on time.

Wait, the bus! Schneep reached into his pocket with one hand, withdrawing his phone and checking the time. Oh, good, he should still be able to get to the stop before it came. He replaced his phone, zipped his coat again, and started off.

Part of him thought it was ridiculous that he wasn’t calling anyone. But it didn’t seem too bad. Nothing he hadn’t survived before. Maybe he could just handle it by himself, without needing to bother anyone.

———————

And once he got back to the apartment, it seemed like it wasn’t anything to worry about. The wound was small, probably from a small blade, and he managed to bandage it up well enough. He hadn’t lost a lot of blood, and he got to the bus stop without much difficulty. Despite the searing pain, it was probably fine.

Probably.

“Okay, I know I am bullshitting myself,” Schneep said, glaring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror. “But Jackie is coming over, and if it really starts to cause problems, he is a doctor. He can help.” Though he’d feel terrible about ruining what was supposed to be a fun night. “It will be fine, I promise.” His reflection didn’t answer any of his ramblings.

He’d arrived back at his apartment at about 5:40. Jackie arrived twenty minutes later, at six. “Okay, so we’re good to go all night,” he said the moment Schneep opened the door. “I don’t have a shift tomorrow, so we can stay up late and watch all three.”

“I doubt you’d make it that long,” Schneep muttered fondly, standing aside to let Jackie in.

“Hey! Not everyone’s a night owl.” Jackie breezed past him, then paused, standing in the center of the studio apartment. “It’s kind of hot in here, did you turn up the thermostat?”

“Oh, yes. Because it is cold outside.” It didn’t feel too hot to him. He was actually a little chilly, slightly shivering as he closed the apartment door.

“Huh. Won’t the landlord charge you for that?”

“I do not think so.”

“If you say so.” Jackie pulled off his hoodie, draping it over the back of the nearest chair. “Still hot, though.”

Schneep decided to change the subject. “So are we ordering food now, or do we wait until we actually have the movie set up?”

“We can set it up first.” Jackie flopped onto the sofa.

“Alright. Don’t hurry to help or anything.”

Jackie hesitated. “Did you want me to, or...?”

“No, it was joke, don’t worry. I will get it.” Schneep joined Jackie over in the living room section of the apartment. He bent down to turn on the TV, but when he stood up, a dagger of pain from his wound suddenly flared. He hissed, hand instinctively pressing against it.

Jackie sat up straight. “What was that?”

“Is nothing, I just...pulled a muscle at work today,” Schneep said, coming up with something on the spot.

“You work at a coffee shop,” Jackie stated.

“Well, yes, but sometimes we have to carry boxes and bags of ingredients from storage to the front.” That wasn’t a lie, at least.

“And that would result in...you pulling a muscle. In your stomach. And not your back or your knees, which is where that would usually happen.” Jackie raised an eyebrow.

“...yes,” Schneep said after a long pause.

“Okay, what happened?”

Schneep sighed. He should’ve known better than to hide anything from Jackie, He had a sort of sixth sense when it came to something being wrong with his friends. “It is nothing to worry about. I got pulled into an alleyway walking home.”

“Pulled into a what? Like a mugging?”

“Yes, like that.” Schneep pressed his hand against the wound again. “The man had a knife, and he used it.”

“You’ve been stabbed?!” Jackie shot to his feet.

“I took care of it!” Schneep hurried to say. “It was not bad!” 

“There’s no such thing as a ‘not bad’ stabbing! Here, sit down, I want to look at it.”

Schneep sighed. Well, at least this’ll be quick. Then Jackie could stop worrying and the two of them could relax. Schneep sat down on the couch. “Happy?”

“Yes. Now pull up your shirt so I can look at it.” Jackie waited patiently while Schneep did so. “You actually did a really good job wrapping. Unfortunately, I have to undo your hard work.” Jackie sat down next to him, slowly unwinding the white bandages.

Schneep tried to stay very still, despite the way the pain would surge every time he shifted weight. This was actually worse than the walk home. How was that possible? Maybe shock, or something like that. After a moment of silence, Jackie placed his hand against Schneep’s stomach. “Ah!” Schneep instinctively pulled down his shirt. “Jackie, your hands are cold, do not do that!”

“Okay, that’s weird,” Jackie said, not responding to what Schneep said. “Lean forward.” He put his hand against Schneep’s forehead. “Um...I don’t think it’s my hands that are cold, I think it’s you.” He bit his lip. “I think...did you lose a lot of blood?”

“Not a lot. There was not a lot of bleeding, and I had something pressed against it a lot of the time.”

“Weird...” Jackie leaned back, thinking. “You’re cold, and also you look like you’re sweating a bit. Huh...did you put any disinfectant on the wound?”

“...ah.” Schneep tried not to squirm.

Jackie sighed. “Who knows what was on that knife? I keep telling you—well, never mind now. I know you have some. First aid kit’s in the bathroom, right?” Schneep nodded. “Wait here, I’ll get it.” And with that, Jackie stood up and left.

Schneep had nothing to do but sit. The day had started off so well, now this was happening. He sighed, blinking around at his surroundings. He was tired...really tired, all of a sudden. He leaned back against the couch, now staring up at the ceiling. Was it...was it spinning?

“Alright, I’m back! I have the...are you okay?”

“What?” Schneep rolled his head over to look at Jackie. “Yes, I am just...I just got very tired very quickly.”

“That’s...just suddenly?” Jackie’s brows furrowed. “Are you sure you didn’t lose too much blood?”

“Yes, I am sure.” Schneep blinked again. For a moment, everything was swimming.

“...okay.” Jackie sat down next to him. “I’m gonna put this on the stab wound, now. It might sting a little. Okay?”

Schneep didn’t answer.

“Hey, Volt, buddy?” Jackie patted the side of Schneep’s face. “I need to know that you understand.”

After a moment of silence, Schneep said, “The walls are melting.”

“Wh-what?” Jackie asked, taken aback.

“They are melting.” Schneep’s eyes fluttered. “I think I am seeing things. That happens, but this time I know it is happening, so that is a start.”

“...I’m just going to take a look at the wound real quick.” Jackie lifted up Schneep’s shirt. His eyes widened, and he looked back between the wound and Schneep’s face. “I’m...going to take a pulse, okay?” He pressed two fingers against Schneep’s neck. Then he withdrew them sharply. “Holy—” He dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone, dialing a number.

“What is wrong?” Schneep asked. He tried to focus on Jackie’s face, but it was blurry, like it was hidden behind a pane of frosted glass.

“I-I don’t know what was on that knife, but there was definitely something,” Jackie said, pressing the phone to his ear. “It’s doing something to you, we need to get emergency—what do you mean no service?!” He pulled the phone away.

“The lines nearby have been down for a while,” Schneep mumbled. “There was a storm...though I remember they said that it looked like...sie wurden sabotiert...”

“Okay, I don’t know what that last part was.” Jackie stood up, hurrying to the door. “I can drive you to the hospital, I—what?!” He pulled on the doorknob, then pushed on it. “I-it won’t open!” Giving up on getting it open, Jackie started pounding on the door. “Hey! Hello? The door’s stuck, someone let us out! It’s an emergency!”

“Jackie...” Schneep looked back up at the ceiling. It was dripping into his eyes. How was it melting when it was so cold? “You are doctor, you can fix...”

“I’m not trained for-for poison!” Jackie stammered.

“You can try...or maybe we can go out the window, it is not too far.”

“I can’t go out the window!” Jackie had come back to stand next to Schneep at some point, now standing over him and chewing on his hair nervously. “I-I can try? But I gotta keep trying to get someone, too!”

“Mm...you do that.” Schneep paused. “Jackie...I should tell you. The one who stabbed me...was not just some random thief...it was...lächelnde Mann. Distort...” He closed his eyes.

“It was Dis—?! No no no no, Volt, Henrik, stay awake!” Jackie leaned over him, shaking him slightly, only to get no response. “Oh, fuck fuck fucking fuck.” He took his pulse once again, finding it just as rapid as before. “Okay. Okay, Jackie, you can figure this out. You can do this.” He took a step back, lifting up Schneep’s shirt to expose the stab wound once again. It was yellow around the edges, the blood darker than it should be. “Okay, uh. I have no idea what that is. I can find out, I guess?”

Jackie picked up his phone, opening a window to the Internet and typing as quickly as possible. Luckily he knew several websites that knew what they were talking about, so he didn’t have to search through shady sites. “‘Get to the hospital as quickly as possible’—yes, I know, I can’t do that. Fuck. Okay.” He pushed Schneep to the side, lying him down. Schneep’s eyelids fluttered. “Cleaning is always a good place to start. Okay.”

He ran to the kitchenette, throwing open the cupboards until he found the largest cup possible. Turning on the sink, he filled it with water. Warm or cold? God, if he knew what was in the wound, he’d know which, but he had to settle for lukewarm and hope that would work. He grabbed a wash rag and dashed back to the sofa as quickly as possible, kneeling nearby. “I don’t know if you can hear me, but this is going to sting.”

As soon as the water touched his skin, Schneep’s eyes flew open and he screamed, flailing. “I know, I know!” Jackie said. “Just, please! Stay still! Stay—hey!” He grabbed Schneep’s arm with one hand to prevent him from whacking him in the face. “Please, you have to let me do this.”

Jackie reached out, ready to...to...what was he doing? He shook his head, clearing away the sudden fog. He had to clean the wound, that was a good starting place.

It wasn’t easy, but he managed it. As soon as he was sure he’d done as good a job as possible, he checked Schneep’s pulse again. It was slower than before, but...but it was also slower than it should be. “No no no no no,” he muttered, a constant stream while he tried to look up what else to do. “There has to be a way, I have to...” he trailed off. What...? His head turned, and his hand reached out, fingers exploring into the open bleeding—

Schneep screamed again, and Jackie jerked backwards. What the hell?! What had he just been doing?! “No no no, I-I’m sorry, it’s okay!” It wasn’t okay, but that didn’t matter now.  He stood up, once again running to the door, but it was just as unmovable as it had been before. He pounded on it once...he...his head tilted to the side, his arm dropping. Was someone laughing nearby?

No! Jackie shook his head. He had to—there was something on his face. Something warm and wet, and coming from his eyes. He reached up, fingers coming away red. “Shit, no, fuck!” He looked around the apartment, not finding anything. Well, did it matter? His friend was dying!

There had to be something else he could do! He rushed back to Schneep’s side, checking his pulse once again. His breathing was slower, a wet, rattling sound coming from inside his throat. Fuck, this had happened so fast. Jackie tilted his head back, keeping his mouth open. What else could he do? The disinfectant? It was probably better than nothing. Jackie grabbed the small tin, unscrewing the lid. He dabbed his fingers inside, then tried to gently apply it to the surface around the wound as gently as possible. Schneep didn’t protest beyond a slight twitching. There was red dripping on the sofa in between them; he knew it was coming from his eyes.

“Come on, come on, please please please.” Once more, he checked the pulse. He checked the...the...

He couldn’t find it.

“No. No no no no no no—” He tried to find it by pressing fingers against his wrist. Then by pressing his palm against his chest. He still couldn’t find anything. “No, Henrik, please don’t—wake up! Please, wake up!” The world seemed leeched of its color, everything in gray. He couldn’t concentrate on anything, anything. He was shaking him and getting no response. “Henrik, no! No, my friend!”

There was nothing, nothing, nothing but gray distortion.

———————

A steady, slow beeping was coming from somewhere. Everything felt heavy, especially his eyelids. Yet he managed to open them somehow, staring uncomprehendingly at his surroundings, until something cleared and he recognized that he was in a hospital room somewhere.

After what felt like forever, he rolled his head to the side, catching sight of a woman in nurse’s scrubs. She was watching him. He closed his eyes again...

———————

The beeping was back, as well as a low murmuring. He could hear two voices.

“So how are you related to him again?”

“I’m not, he’s my neighbor.”

“And you found him how?”

“Well, I heard shouting from his apartment, so I was a little worried. It went away after a while, but I thought I would go check anyway. And when I did, his door was wide open, and so I peeked inside and I...”

———————

More voices, muffled like they were through a wall. A few sounded familiar...

“Fuck you, he’s our friend and you’re going to let us see him!”

“Sir, if you would please calm down—”

“Fuck calm! I have a hunting knife in my backpack that I’d think you’d like to see!”

“Now, really, Anti, that’s going too far.”

“Yea, a bit. Y’wouldn’ want t’get arrested.”

“There’s nothing illegal about knives. Guns, maybe, but knives?”

“I’m sure threatening a doctor has some consequences. They could throw us out.”

“Mnngh...”

———————

He opened his eyes again, looking around at the same hospital room. Everything felt...floaty. Like he could bounce away at any minute. But he was awake. He tried to sit up, fell back, and looked around. The same nurse from the last time he looked around was still there. She watched him for a moment, then smiled. “Oh, good, you’re awake. Everyone was worried.”

“Wh...happened?” He asked.

“Well, we’re not too sure. You were found unconscious, and wounded. I personally don’t know too many details, but they had to hurry.”

The stab wound. Schneep tried to bolt upright as soon as he remembered, but just ended up falling down again and knocking the breath out of his lungs. 

“Oh, be careful. You could tear open the stitches.” The nurse paused. “You know...there are some friends of yours waiting outside. I could let them in, if you want.” Once he nodded, she stood from her chair, opened the door, and poked her head outside. “He’s awake,” she said. And then the door opened wide as three people came in.

“Henrik, what the fuck dude?!” Anti demanded. “In the span of a few hours since I’d seen you, you manage to almost die?!”

Schneep smiled at him. He couldn’t remember the last time Anti had called him by his first name, he must’ve been really worried.

Marvin poked his head around Anti. “I don’ t’ink our group should be makin’ a habit of visiting others in the hospital,” he said, smiling.

“Had no say in th’matter,” Schneep mumbled.

“How are you feeling?” JJ asked.

Schneep paused for a long moment, trying to find the right words. “Bad,” he settled on.

“Yeah, I bet,” Anti muttered. “I did some research on what the doctor said got to you, and it’s pretty nasty. I mean, you were out for a night and half the day.” He looked over at the nurse. “Hey, can we get some privacy here?”

The nurse pursed her lips. “It’s against policy.”

“Sh’s fine,” Schneep said. “‘M just...happy you all’re here...” His eyes darted around the room. Something was wrong...“Where’s Jackie?”

The three boys looked at each other. “I thought he came to see you earlier,” JJ said. “Do either of you two know?”

“I was just assumin’ he was somewhere in the hospital,” Marvin said. “Because he works here, I t’ought...”

“He doesn’t have a shift today,” Anti said. “Wait! I texted him.” Anti dug into his pocket, pulling out his phone and checking his messages. His brows furrowed. “And...he hasn’t even seen it, let alone replied yet.”

Schneep tried to sit up one more time, finally managing to prop himself against the pillows. “He was with me...”

“Wait, he was with you when you got stabbed?” JJ asked, eyes wide.

“No, later, when...everything started...I blacked out...did he bring me here?”

“No, some neighbor lady of yours checked on you, and lucky she did,” Anti said. “She...didn’t mention anyone else.”

Schneep made a strangled sort of gasp, covering his mouth. “He’s gone.”

The others looked around, expressions confused and worried. In the background, the nurse opened the door and left, standing outside.

“We don’t know that,” JJ hurried to say.

“Jems, I don’ t’ink...” Marvin sat down in the nearest chair, realizing the truth before anyone else. “Henrik, d’you mean...?”

“He poisoned me,” Schneep whispered. “He knew Jackie would try to fix it...” It had all been a trap. A plan, of some sorts. How long had Distorter been planning this? Since he first met them all? “So he could confuse him, and take him, and if I died...well, two birds, one stone.”

The others said nothing. There was nothing to say, in the face of such knowledge. It weighed heavy on the air of that room.

And somewhere across the city, a man dressed in gray was smiling, perfectly delighted.

[juvinadelgreko]

Dig a little deeper

Thanks for tagging me @satans-helper!

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen? Black all the way.

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? Country. My favorite place to be is in the middle of nowhere. I’ll never forget the weekend I spent helping one of my friends with her horses. Her barn is very remote, and when we came back from dinner in town and I looked up at the sky, the view that I had of the stars knocked the breath out of me.

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

I would absolutely love to learn how to play guitar. I’ve tried so many times and I just can’t pick it up.

Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Nope.

What was your favorite book as a child? I will forever and always have a deep love and appreciation for everything the Percy Jackson books did for me.

Do you prefer baths or showers? Showers. Bath water doesn’t stay warm long enough and sitting in lukewarm water just doesn’t appeal to me. In the shower, I can just keep turning it up until I melt.

If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? I wouldn’t mind being a water nymph. It’d be very peaceful, I think.

Paper or electronic books? Paper!!!

What is your favorite item of clothing? I recently cut up a t-shirt of mine that was too big to wear; I turned it into a crop top and now it’s my favorite. I also have a white linen button down with thin gray stripes on it that I’m in love with.

Do you like your name? Yes.

Who is a mentor to you? There’s a very famous American show jumper by the name of Elizabeth “Beezie” Madden. She’s an incredible rider with a tremendous amount of accolades, but she also treats her horses and employees with great care and respect. Unfortunately, there aren’t many other top show jumpers I can say the same about.

Would you like to be famous? Not really. The only reason I’d want to have a platform of any kind is so I could use it to help others and make change in the world.

Are you a restless sleeper? Not really, but I do sometimes have trouble sleeping through the night.

Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? A little bit.

Which element best represents you? Air.

Who do you want to be closer to? My coworkers. When you work for a competition barn, you spend most of your time traveling around the country with clients’ horses and showing them. Considering that we spend so much time on the road together, you’d think that we’d all be closer, but it just hasn’t clicked yet.

Do you miss someone at the moment? Yeah. But it’s hard to explain.

Tell us about an early childhood memory. I have a very vivid memory of when my mom asked me if I wanted to try riding lessons. It was the beginning of something that would become the most important part of my life.

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? It wasn’t strange really, but just kind of funny. When I was in China a few summers ago I ate cantaloupe off a stick from a street vendor. I feel like that’s not normally something you’d buy and eat from a street vendor, but it was absolutely delicious.

What are you most thankful for? My own inner strength.

Have you ever met anyone famous? No.

Do you keep a diary or journal? Yes, but I only write in it when I feel like it. I don’t do it daily or anything.

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? Pen.

What’s your star sign? Libra sun.

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? Crunchy. I don’t ever put very much milk on it. I just like a little bit.

What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be remembered as someone that was always trustworthy, hardworking, and kind.

Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? I do, but it’s gotten harder for me as my life has gotten busier. I just read The Prophet by Khalil Gibran. I enjoyed it quite a bit.

How do you show someone you love them? I stand by them. Whatever they need, I’m there.

Do you like ice in your drinks? Yes!

What are you afraid of? Anything bad happening to my animals or loved ones. I would rather die than see any of them in pain.

What is your favorite scent? The smell of summer horse shows. Horses, hay, sweat, grass, hoof polish, leather, saddle soap. It’s lovely. I also really love the smell of record stores.

Do you address older people by their name or surname? It depends on who the person is and what my relationship is with them.

If money was not a factor, how would your life? Not in Ohio!

Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I like them both, but if the ocean waves are big, it scares me. I almost drowned in them when I was a kid.

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? Unless I know who it belongs to, I’m keeping it.

Have you ever seen a shooting star? No, I really want to.

What is one thing you’d want to teach your children? To be kind to everyone, but also to stick up for themselves and those that are less fortunate.

If you had to get a tattoo right now, what and where would it be? 93 is a very important number to me. So probably that, and somewhere easy to conceal...inside of my wrist.

What can you hear now? Birds chirping as the sun goes down. It’s lovely.

Where do you feel the safest? In the middle of the woods, in the middle of nowhere.

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

I was in a bad riding accident years ago and the PTSD from it compromises my ability to ride today. I’m fine 90% of the time, but it comes back to me in the worst moments and it’s exhausting trying to do my job while dealing with it. If I could completely erase the memory of it from my mind, I would.

If you could travel back to any era in time, what would it be? The 70s!

What is your most used emoji? ❤️

Describe yourself using one word. Strong.

What do you regret most? “There’s nothing that I’d take back, but it’s hard to say there’s nothing I regret.”

Last movie you saw? I’m so bad at watching movies 🙄. I rewatched Ford vs. Ferrari a little while ago. It’s a good one.

Last TV show you watched? ATLA!!!

Invent a word and it’s meaning. I can’t think of what it would be, but I wish I had a word specifically for the frustration I feel when I’m trying to share genuine emotion with someone and they’re just too shallow to grasp what I’m trying to communicate.

Tagging: @imacrowcawcaw @mrd-k3 @dufflesmckagan @flowrxchild @sunshineinhereyes

[rubyleaf]

I did say I’d write a bunch of things for Carole & Tuesday. I dunno why I always go to Roddy first, but here’s the first of the things. There’s a criminal lack of found family Roddy and Ertegun out there, so enjoy.

Roddy has been hanging out at Ertegun’s place a lot again lately.

Most of it is work-related. With a new single out and more tracks on the way, he has to prepare the upcoming tours: program the AIs, discuss the performance tracklists and the specifics of every location. Been there, done that. What’s new is that, ever since that time he almost went bankrupt, Ertegun has been trying to include him in his social events too.

Not that Roddy cares for parties. But he does feel a little sorry for the DJ, surrounded by shallow fair-weather friends, and every so often he finds himself accepting the invitation.

Tonight is such a time. Well, rather, he was supposed to come over for work anyway; but Ertegun invited him and baited him with free food, and since Roddy’s place has been having some troubles with the electricity anyway, might as well have some fun before his business all-nighter. Ertegun even suggested he bring the girls along, but Carole and Tuesday have their own tour to mind, so here he is curled up on the couch with his laptop, occasionally making small talk and waiting for the evening to be over.

“You should take some breaks, you know.”

Roddy looks up. By now it’s past midnight, a glance at the clock reveals, and the house has mostly cleared up. Ertegun stands beside him, dangling a cold drink in his face.

“Just juice,” he answers the unspoken question on Roddy’s face. “You don’t think I’d give alcohol to a minor?”

Roddy shrugs. “I’m not sure what you’d do.”

“Not that. Imagine the headlines!” Ertegun sits down in the chair across from Roddy, crossing his legs. “Famous DJ gives alcohol to underage coworker! You know I’m better than that.”

Roddy gives him a blank look and sips the juice. That makes sense.

“Anyway,” says Ertegun, gesturing to his laptop, “you should put that aside for a bit. I can’t have my sound technician getting sick because he overworked himself.”

“I’m fine though,” Roddy answers.

“Nobody’s fine who works all the time.” Reaching across the coffee table, Ertegun tries to take the laptop from him, but Roddy wiggles out of his reach. “You should learn to let go! Have some fun, you know?”

“Is that why you keep inviting me?”

“Of course. You can’t spend all your life staring at screens.”

“I’d rather stare at screens than hang out with people who only care about money and fame.” Roddy closes his laptop. “Where’s the point in that, anyway?”

Ertegun doesn’t answer. Roddy sighs.

“I don’t know how you can spend so much time with them,” he continues, leaning back his head and staring at the ceiling. “They’re fair-weather friends. Next time something bad happens, they’ll all ditch you again.”

Ertegun looks awkward. Neither of them has really mentioned that story since, like they have some silent agreement to act like it didn’t happen.

Roddy sits up.

“Aren’t you lonely?”

He doesn’t know why he’s asking all this. Maybe because, in some way, he understands. The girls would understand too. Gus too. No real friends, no family worth the name...they’ve all been there. And now they have each other, but who does this guy have?

“Lonely?” Ertegun repeats, slowly, like that word is unfamiliar to him.

“Yeah.” Roddy takes another sip from his juice. “You don’t really have any close friends...or a family. And other people your age have spouses and kids, or at least had them at some point.” He shrugs. “Is this really okay for you? Being all alone?”

“Roddy, Roddy, Roddy...”

Before he knows what’s happening, Ertegun has reached across the coffee table to ruffle his hair. “You worry too much,” he says. “Are you sure you have the time to listen to an old man ramble about his life?”

Roddy blinks. Suddenly the man across from him sounds less like the famous DJ and more like the tired, lonely person who crashed at his apartment with no money and no energy. Abruptly he notices the small creases on Ertegun’s face. For all his youthful lifestyle he is middle-aged, and it shows. Suddenly Roddy realizes this man is old enough to be his father.

“But if you’re wondering,” he says, leaning back in his chair, “I do think it would be nice having all that.” He lifts up a meaningful finger. “There’s just one problem.”

“Time?” Roddy guesses.

“I knew you were a smart kid when I hired you. Yes, time.” Ertegun crosses his legs the other way. “Say I wanted a spouse. Then I’d first have to look for them, go on dates until I find the right one. Then I’d have to put time into the relationship. And if we got married, that’d be hours and hours of wedding planning. Especially for a wedding befitting of me.” He counts the points on his fingers. “All of that would be time I could also spend making music. And anyone can date and get married, but only I can make my music.”

Roddy is quiet.

“So when I realized I couldn’t have both,” Ertegun concludes, “I decided I’d always choose my music over everything else. Even if it meant staying alone.”

He doesn’t sound like he regrets it, but Roddy still can’t help feeling sorry for him.

“What about the family you already have?” he ventures. “Do you still have parents or siblings?”

Ertegun’s face darkens. He waves a dismissive hand. “I don’t talk about those people for a reason.”

Roddy doesn’t press the matter. He can easily imagine what went down. Most parents don’t look too kindly on their children wanting to be musicians. Many parents probably wouldn’t approve of the rest of Ertegun’s lifestyle either. Especially those from the old generation.

“So you’re all alone,” he says.

“Not quite.”

Roddy looks up. “Huh?”

The DJ grins at him, cheerfully and so genuinely it’s almost out of character. “I’ve got you, don’t I?”

Roddy gapes at him for a good moment, trying to make sense of the statement. “Are you saying I’m your substitute family?”

In hindsight, he realizes, Ertegun has been treating him a bit like a son.

He has no idea what to do with that information.

Ertegun doesn’t give him time to process it either. “Anyway,” he says, standing up, “break over. Let’s get to work.” He yawns. “It’s getting late.”

The rest of the evening passes normally. Roddy doesn’t remember when he falls asleep, but in the morning he wakes up with a pillow under his head and a blanket over him, his laptop carefully put away on the coffee table.

None of the AIs seem to know who did it.

[granddaughter-ogg-toshi-blog]

Aizawa VS Toshi’s reader girlfriend

The whole man was creeping you out. He always looked scruffy and exhausted, with black unkempt hair falling over a face that held an eternal expression you’d best describe as “out of fucks to give.” This raggedy weirdo clearly gave some fucks about you. They were just not...positive fucks.

“I've never seen Toshinori Yagi this happy, and apparently, no one else has. If you break his heart, I will break your bones."

Warning - mentions of sex work.

Of course, Toshi introduced you to his acquaintances.

You'd waver to actually call them "friends". It seemed that the most popular hero in Japan didn't have many. He'd explained this to you in a ruefully stoic manner. You were left with no urge to pry further.

So - his fellow teachers. Most of them seemed nice, if a bit eccentric.

They would be, you'd remind yourself. They were living the high-octane life of crimefighting and wrangling moody teenagers (you couldn't decide which job scares you more.) Nether the less, these colourful folks accepted you into the fold. They seemed glad that All Might is ("finally!" as Present Mic shouted into your ear) living his best life post-retirement.

You liked this Mic. He was a loud, excitable fellow with a penchant for spikes and silly hair. He doused you with infectious enthusiasm, providing an instant sense of camaraderie. You could tell that Toshi is fond of him, too; no matter how much of a wilted violet he appeared to be when standing next to the motormouth.

Then there was Midnight. A bold, self-assured woman who refused to feel bad for making men horny. The world was her lingerie catwalk, while the bystanders' stiffies were entirely on them. You couldn't help but endorse such spunk. Midnight took you under her well-manicured wing and requested to know All The Juicy Details. Fending this woman off seemed like art you’ll have to master, for when it came to her, basic tact was something that happened to other people.

There was Cementoss, a quiet, unassuming man who seemed to respect Toshi a great deal.

And then there was Aizawa. Damn Aizawa. You couldn't tell who All Might was to him, exactly. He'd treat your man with the same scathing deadpan he served to anyone else. Except you. You, as it seemed, were not worth his barbs.

He was wary around Toshinori’s sweetheart.

He’d keep his distance. He'd ignore any of your awkward attempts at making small talk. This dude has perfected flat, dismissive silence to a fine edge. Someone mentioned once that Aizawa-kun doesn't make friends easily.

You couldn't help but wonder how did he make any at all.

This man would avoid socializing with you like an alley tomcat that doesn't want your treats.   All the same, wherever you're turned your back at him...you’d feel his bloodshot eyes watching you. Boring into the back of your skull.

His dark stare had an almost gravitational pull to it. It was exasperating. Yet the moment you spun on your heels, ready to pounce, ready to ask "what's your problem, dude?" - Aizawa would just shrug and walk away.

It started to creep you out.

The whole man was creeping you out. He always looked scruffy and exhausted, with black unkempt hair falling over a face that held an eternal expression you’d best describe as “out of fucks to give.” This raggedy weirdo clearly gave some fucks about you. They were just not...positive fucks.

One day you decided to do something about it. That stupid tension was bad for your nerves, and you were sure Toshi’s gonna notice it sooner or later. You didn’t want to worry your beloved beanpole of a man. Less even - to cause him grief. And that's what would happen if he was to know that one of his coworkers indirectly gives you shit.

An occasion presented itself a week later. The teachers were getting out together after hours. Naturally, Toshi proposed that you join them. He was ears deep in amorous high, having an actual girlfriend to parade around for the first time in who-knows-how-long (you certainly didn’t.) No one wanted to snag this pink cloud of bliss from under him. Not by suggesting that you and Class 1A homeroom teacher don’t go along. You certainly didn’t.

A few hours later the empty soba dishes layered the table at the small, cosy joint, while collars got looser and moods got way lighter. You watched Toshi grinning, flushed from the minuscule amount of drink that he probably shouldn’t have, deep in some conversation with his friends. There was a lot of commotion going on; there had to be wherever Mic was, ahem, present. Laughter rang in the air. You’ve had the rest of this sake that Toshi wetted his lips in ("Indirect kiss...oh my!" he'd observe with innocent glee, and you giggled), so the idea that flashed in your brain seemed perfect. Right now he wouldn’t mind if you disappeared for a while...right?

“I’ll be right back, love”, you murmured into the pointy ear, which emerged from that ruffled flaxen hair. Oh, how you loved that bush. Had to mentally restrain oneself from submerging your face in it now, when the others were watching. Your man gave you a tipsy smile and went back to what he was saying. You stood up and made a beeline for the restroom.

Passing Aizawa on the way, you whispered sharply: “You. Asshole. Follow me.”

It was not a very cordial invitation. To your deepest astonishment - it worked.

Damn, that guy could walk like a cat, too. The utter absence of sound from his footsteps made the little hairs on your nape stand straight.

You two went outside, where the summer Japanese night was in full bloom; the huge moon, the flower petals bristling in the wind, the cicadas doing their thing.

It didn’t sweeten your mood one bit. You faced the guy - a dark, motionless silhouette with arms folded on his chest - and shot away what was coiling on the back of your tongue:

“Wow, so you do react to words.”

“Whenever it feels necessary.” That was not even a jab. It was a bare statement of a fact. You felt dismissed, and that made you angry.

“What is your deal, Aizawa-san?” you asked, trying to penetrate the dark, to peer into those dispassionate eyes.

“You'll have to be more precise than that.”

“I mean it!” He wasn't much taller, but you felt a sudden, desperate urge to stand on your toes so that he would finally take you seriously. Approached you like an adult. "You've made a huge deal of avoiding me all this time. I don't want Toshi to feel bad about this, but he's bound to notice. What's your problem with me? Do I stink?" A normal person would probably chuckle. Aizawa remained silent - and as immobile as if his feet were planted in the ground. The silence lingered. Thank fuck for the enthusiastic cicadas. "Well then?..." That was one step - just one move, impossibly fluid and frightfully fast. Suddenly Aizawa Shota was all up in your grill. Your throat got dry.

"You ask what is my problem with you?" The words felt like bullets, each one fast and precise, no room for any sugar to coat their lead at all. Deadly.

"My problem is that I don't trust you. Who are you? Where did you come from? He’s lived this heroic celibate existence for years now, and suddenly there's a much younger woman, attached to him at the hip. A quirkless one, from what I gather. Non-Japanese. A complete outsider. So I'm gonna ask you: what do you want from All Might? What is your deal?"

Your lips probably formed a perfect O. You took two long, staggering breaths, one after another. Then you tried your damnedest to compose oneself. This was preposterous...and very, very rude. But this guy obviously couldn't care less, and his offhand approach had some foundation in common sense. For All Might was a national treasure, a worldwide-known celebrity, and you were nothing. The jerkass had a point. So you spoke. "Who am I, indeed? Perfectly no one. I could tell you how Toshi and I met, but it was not one bit the romantic affair he makes it to be." Aizawa unfolded his arms and stuck his hands into his pockets. "Try me." You inhaled slowly. Truth or dare. "I used to be a sugar baby. That's a fancy millenial name for a sex worker. I bet such a down-to-earth man as yourself is familiar with the term." Aizawa nodded. "Toshi...I mean, All Might saved my life. Literally. It was just before that...thing which happened in Kamino. I was getting home after a gig, my purse bursting with banknotes, and some small-time punk decided I'm his next meal ticket. I kicked him in the groin and cried for help. And boy, did the help came."

You could not smile at that distant memory.

"All Might made sure that I got home safely. He was such a sweetheart. I thought: hey, what the hell, it's not like I'm gonna meet a man like this ever again, not within this shitty existence I'm living. So I gave him my number. Told him who I was - or rather, what I was. He didn't care. One thing led to another...and here we are months later. I love him."

You tried to keep your voice firm and level. You really tried.

Aizawa listened intently. You could almost feel the cogs under that ratty hair turning. "It was the logical thing to do", he said finally. His voice was calm. "Excuse me?" "Giving him your number. You found yourself at the end of that particular line, saw a light in the tunnel, and decided to grasp that light." You stared into his pale, unshaven face, looking for any trace of mockery. Was this socially challenged bastard judging you? "You think it’s a bad thing that I did?" Your voice got a little wet. Scratchy. Aizawa shook his dark head. "Not in the slightest. Judging from the outcome, I'd say it was for the best for both parties involved." Your eyes went wide. You sure as hell didn't expect this. "Well then? Are we good?" "Just one thing." He lifted a finger. "Do you know how gullible this man is? How desperately starved for affection?" You felt your pulse rush. "Now then, that's completely uncalled for -" Aizawa seemed undeterred with your discomfort. Those dark eyes remained glued to your face. "Do you?" You gulped. "Well, he goes out of his way to see the best in everyone..." you ventured. He clicked his tongue. "Exactly. And that's what makes him vulnerable. I've never seen All Might this happy, and apparently, no one else has. If you break his heart, I will break your bones." "Like hell I would!" you snapped, furious. You stood there, glaring at this impossible bastard, and he glared back. You must've looked like two samurai from an old movie. But who has just dealt the victorious blow? "Oh, I see," you grinned finally. "This is your way of caring for him. How very sweet." Aizawa hissed under his breath like a miffed feline. "I don't care for him." "Yes, you do. Yes you do! You're a good friend to have, Aizawa-san, even if a little unorthodox in your approach." He emitted a sound that could only be described as a "tch", shrugged and spun on his heel, showing you that this conversation is over. "Yeah, let's get back inside", you cooed. "Toshi's probably looking for me right now." "...don't tell him what I just told you." "Oh, I wouldn't for the world. It's gonna be our dirty little secret." "Tch."

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis, Part Six Scene Six: Jolup Sinks Rewind’s Ship

You sure as shit have, sugarplum.

It’s time to get the down-low on everyone’s favorite severely-depressed detective.

So, hey, remember waaaaay back in Part One, when Nightbeat used his deadname to sign a report accidentally? It’s okay if you don’t, because I sure did.

God, that was ages ago, wasn’t it? Anyway, that string of numbers is his biocode, which I guess sort of functions as his social security number. So, if any of y’all wanna go ahead and steal his identity, I’m not gonna say anything.

Now, that’s a mighty low number for a Transformer. Strikingly low, even. Turns out that Nightbeat wasn’t biomorphically created, but rather cold constructed. Cold construction as a term didn’t exist within the canon when this was written- trust me, I checked. Sure, robots were built, as opposed to bursting from another’s torso like an over-microwaved hotdog, but they usually turned out like the Dinobots… that is to say, not exactly smart.

Cold construction was an experiment, trying to build Transformers outside of the messy lines of “genetics" and “family lineage”, and as it turns out, the first batch didn’t come out as expected. Or, at least, Nightbeat didn’t.

Hey there, friends. Just a head’s up, before I try to tackle this: I am, as far as I’m aware, neurotypical. With that in mind, let’s take a look at what may be an honest attempt at inclusion for a neurodivergent take on a character in a story published in 2001.  

Now, some of these snippets look kind of harsh at face value, but let’s take a closer look. Everything harsh isn’t really Nightbeat putting himself down, but rather him quoting what others have said. Notice the use of quotation marks. Think back to Part One, how he was treated by his peers- they treat him like everyone else, they respect him, they trust his input. Hell, Rodimus himself wanted Nightbeat on the mission to go get Optimus from the past. Nobody who’s been in the story has tried to belittle Nightbeat for being wired differently. That’s fucking phenomenal treatment of a character like him in the early 2000’s.

I’m probably out of my depth here, but it seemed worthwhile to mention.

Anyway, back to the plot.

Right, that.

Nightbeat gets pulled out of his inner monologue when Red Alert asks if he’s okay, since he’s been staring off into space for the last little while. They’re still waiting for Optimus to show up, and everyone’s starting to get antsy. It’s hot as hell over by this collapsing wormhole, which isn’t helping them settle either.

Something finally comes up over the horizon, but you and I both know that it wouldn’t be Eugenesis if things just got on smoothly, now would it? Quantax starts firing on the team of Transformers, while he gets nervous about the wormhole still being there. He decides that if it is, he’ll jump back to this exact point in time to show himself that it is. This is a stupid plan, for a lot of reasons. 

Good idea, Quantax.

While he’s trying to come up with something better, someone lands a lucky shot and takes his ship down. Trailbreaker goes to see who it is, I guess because he isn’t aware of what happened the last time a Transformer went to go see Quantax.  

Oh no, he’s been turned into The Transformers The Movie Prowl!

Before anyone can try and save Trailbreaker’s stupid ass, the Quintessential Flying Fucks show up. Nightbeat’s not having it- he orders his team to take them down.

The Quintessential Flying Fucks are here for the wormhole as well, but they’ll be taking out the Autobots beforehand. While everyone else handles the Fucks, Nightbeat chases after Quantax, who just bolted for the temple.

Nightbeat catches up and tackles him to the ground, only to get himself pummeled for his efforts. As the blows rain down, Nightbeat tries to reason with Quantax that the wormhole is dangerous and shouldn’t be tampered with. Not sure why he thinks this would ever work, but alright.

Quantax, pal, do I have some friggin’ news for you.

Quantax pulls out of Nightbeat’s hold to hide in the shadows, only to jump out and slash him once he gets close enough.  

I hope nothing bad happens to Muzzle here. I feel like Nightbeat really would snap if that orb got broken.

Trying to buy some time, Nightbeat tells Quantax about the futility of trying to change the past, the future, simply because it’s all already laid out, and has been from the beginning. Quantax doesn’t take the jab well, jumping out at Nightbeat again and stabbing him in the stomach, spilling his guts. Nightbeat uses the slump of his body to topple the both of them into the hole in the floor.

Outside the temple, Centurion’s wondering just how the fuck he’s still alive. Jolup’s got him by the throat, his legs have gone AWOL, and he honestly just wants to go home at this point. Jolup’s about to drop the poor guy in a conveniently-placed pool of lava, when Optimus finally shows up.

He, Thundercracker, and Astrotrain- who I’d legitimately forgotten was in this novel- are all pointing their weapons at Jolup, and demand he put the cinnamon roll down and back away slowly. It’s a sweet gesture. Too bad Centurion’s already dead, though.

With a grand, villainous flourish, he drops Centurion into the lava, where he promptly explodes, then flies off for the temple. Astrotrain pursues, as Optimus orders Thundercracker to find Nightbeat and get back to the eighties.

Sevax is in the middle of a scrape with Hound, about to be shot to death. Looks like it’s all over for this son of a gun.

Or not. Man, there goes Rewind’s weird coworker ship. Too bad, he’d already written a huge chunk of his slowburn Ultra Magnus/Hound coffeeshop AU slashfic.

Jolup tells Sevax to slap a bandaid on it and get ready to go while he goes and grabs Ryknia.

Back inside the temple, Nightbeat is clinging to Quantax like his life depends on it- because it does. They’re both hanging off the edge of a hole that’s filled with molten lava. Quantax pulls himself up with his very strong arms, just in time to stand up and immediately be shot back into the pit. Nightbeat dares to dream a dream almost too beautiful- that Optimus is here to save him, like the romance novel protagonist he is!

No such luck. It’s just the Quintessential Flying Fucks. But how did they shoot Quantax? Didn’t he make that impossible? Good thing they dragged Trailbreaker along for the ride, and also good thing he’d managed to keep hold of his gun. Loopholes are fun.

The Fucks run for the wormhole, and all Nightbeat can think to do at this point is stand in front of it and hope for the best. Or maybe the least worst, in this case.

But… but the lore!

Nightbeat gets them with the device as they go through the portal, thus wiping everything from their brains and assumedly dooming them to a short, brutal loop for the rest of time. Thus the plight of the Quintessential Flying Fucks draws to a flaccid and confusing close. I had a feeling this might happen. I was hoping it wouldn’t, though.

Thundercracker soars through the wormhole next, and Nightbeat manages to hit him with the mindpurge just as he crosses the barrier. He’s not even sure if it’s working anymore at this point.

Then Optimus gets there, and it’s time to take him back. They hold hands, click their heels three times, say “there’s no place like home”, and step into 1984. Optimus stares at the collection of almost-dead robots on the Ark, not really feeling the scene, as Nightbeat blathers on. He offers to let Optimus keep his memories of 2013, so he can try and prevent his own death. Optimus… well…

And then he gives Nightbeat a gun and tells him to shoot him until he’s basically dead. Which he does, once the guy’s had the entirety of the last few days scrubbed out of his head. There’s an actual reason for this, though I won’t lie, I kinda freaked out a little when I first got to this part. In order for Aunty to reformat Optimus into his fresh new Earth bod, he needs to be injured enough for the scans to pick up. While this is happening, we also get an explanation for why the 1984 Decepticons got reformatted too- the mindpurge dropped and rolled under the counter while Nightbeat was busy murdering his celebrity crush, and wiped the entire history of the war out of the ship’s database. Now it didn’t see Autobots and Decepticons, but rather just a whole slew of injured robots. So if we want to end prejudice, what we need to do is mindwipe our cars and then shoot our dads in the chest. Gotcha.

And then Mount St. Hilary erupts. Time to go.

Back in 2013, Astrotrain’s been reduced to being transportation, as he always is, and the team’s watching the wormhole cook the atmosphere around it from a good fifty miles away. Fun fact, the curvature of the earth makes it so that we can’t see more than eight miles in any given direction from sea-level. Even though they’re holed up in a building right now and arguably above sea-level, I can’t help but wonder just how friggin’ big Cybertron must be for them to be able to see this right now.

Genocide’s over! Time to break out the booze.

Nightbeat’s taking his sweet time, but it isn’t for a lack of trying. He’s been dodging the repair beams, trying not to kick dead people in the head as he scrambles for the portal. He gets there eventually, the wormhole now running so hot he literally bursts into flames and his eyes melt out of his head as he passes through.  

There’s my macabre little man! Back to normal at last. All’s well that ends well!

The wormhole explodes as it shuts down behind him.

Hours after, things finally cool down enough for a rescue team to go try and find survivors.

Motherfuckin’-

NO.

NO, NIGHTBEAT, YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED.

That’s the end of Part Six.