#I’m fine with a slowburn the more angst the better

[milesworld96]

So what I’m understanding is that this is the confirmation of Evilhausen, right?

[avis-writeshq]

miya atsumu – a lovely night

genre&warnings: rated 16+ for enemies to lovers, fluff, angst, and slowburn; mentions of eating and unsafe usage of cooking knives!! fem!reader

a/n: it was meant to be a small drabble but i got carried away lmao (i’ve also been working on this for more than a year so my peep my writing style changes LMFAOOO)

w/c: 10k exact

“i hate it here.”

“you say that every morning,” aneko chuckled, tying her hair up in a ponytail. “what happened this time?”

“i have a biology presentation soon and i’m not looking forward to it.” you side-eyed the window, watching as students begin filing out of their dorm rooms and into the walkways that lead to the campus. 

aneko sighed, patting your shoulder. “you’ll do fine. you do well in every presentation, you know that.”

a lopsided smile made its way onto your face as you shrug your bag over your shoulder. “thanks, aneko… i’m gonna get some coffee. you want anything?”

she shook her head ‘no’, and you shrugged, making your way down the stairs, crossing the dormitories to the cafe next to the campus. 

as soon as you took your place in line, a scalding sensation erupts through your shirt and all over your chest, and you jump back in shock and pain. 

“what the hell?” you demand, hissing as the coffee burned your skin. unfortunately, the perpetrator is nowhere to be found, seemingly fleeing the scene. the last thing you see of the person is a volleyball jacket and piss-coloured hair. 

gritting your teeth in frustration, you storm out of the cafe, ignoring the cries of the cafe staff and trailing after him. “oi! piss hair! you little…” a grunt escapes your lips as he makes a turn, disappearing into the sea of students. 

eyes narrowing into slits, you marched your way back to your dorm, throwing the door open. 

“what happened to you?” sakura frowned, getting up from her seat on the couch. “oh, and aneko’s on her date.”

“first of all,” you scowled, dumping your bags on the ground and retreating to the bathroom, “if you ever see a piss-haired brat, punch them in the face for me.”

“piss-haired brat,” she rolled her eyes in amusement before asking, “are you alright, (y/n)?”

tugging the shirt over your head, you stormed back out into the kitchen. “i have a biology presentation in an hour, i had boiling coffee spill on me and the guy didn’t even apologise! and now aneko has to go and flaunt her non-singleness to the world!”

“well, that guy is a douchebag,” she hummed. “and you know you always get the highest score in biology, so that’s not an issue for you. oh and you’re never going to guess what kou-chan told me!”

you raise an unsuspecting eyebrow, “what?”

she squeals, her hand clapping in excitement. “they knows someone who needs a date! he’s looking for a partner!”

your nose scrunched in distaste, “you set me up with six dates since last september and it’s only the beginning of january. do i really want your help in finding a date?”

“i know someone. trust me on this, okay?” she pats your shoulder and smooths out your hair. “are you free tomorrow night?”

“i think so…” you eye her wearily. “i’m trusting you, got it?”

she grins, the smile stretching across her face in excitement, “i won’t let you down! oh, you should start heading to biology.”

you nod, “alright… i’ll see you later. it’s your turn to buy groceries, so don’t forget!” 

shooting you a thumbs up, sakura goes back to her fashion magazine, and you close the dorm door. maybe the day would get better? it can only go up from here… right? shaking the negative thoughts out of your head, you half-jog to the lecture hall, clutching at the strap of your shoulder bag. the hall is already half-filled with people reading over their notes, doing last-minute editing, and practising. 

finding a seat near the middle, you began taking out all your notes from your bag. as you read through your entire presentation, the chair beside you screeched as someone took a seat there. 

glancing up at the person to say a quick greeting and then you realised — “you!”

you bolted up from your seat, your eyes narrowed and the chair screeched as it dragged against the floor. he gapes, watching you stand.

“the hell ya talkin’ about?”

“you–” you flinched as the sharp hushing of students met your ears and you bowed sheepishly in apology. you turned back to the smug-looking brat, hissing your explanations. “the main issue is the fact that you spilled hot coffee on me. what’s worse is how you didn’t even apologise!” 

he chuckled, “i see. you’re just a fan who wants attention! okay, you can watch our volleyball practice–”

“i don’t want to watch your stupid volleyball practice!” you snapped, gathering your books and shoving them into your bag. “unless you want to apologise, i don’t want to see your ugly face and piss hair.”

“hey–”

flipping him off as discreetly as possible, you stalked your way over to the other side of the lecture hall, sitting in between two students. 

one raised their eyebrow at you. “is miya atsumu your boyfriend?”

you scoffed, muttering under your breath, “atsumu? what a shitty name…” you turn back to them, “no, he’s not my boyfriend. if he was, he would be dead by now.”

they nod, eyebrows raised, before turning back to their notes. 

you, on the other hand, were left to your thoughts. miya? where have you heard that name before? and why the hell did he look so familiar?

*** 

“oi–”

“are you going to apologise?” you asked, not looking at him as you pack up your things after your successful presentation. “listen, buddy, i'm in a good mood. something i don’t want you screwing up.”

“i’m not here to apologise,” he huffed, “but maybe i can make it up to you?”

“i only want an apology, sweet cheeks,” a sarcastic smile bloomed on your face, and you patted his cheek snarkily. “now if you excuse me, i would like to get the coffee i couldn’t get this morning.”

“i’ll treat you,” atsumu offered and you shot him a glare.

“sure. i’ll take an apology with a side of sincerity.”

the smile on your face grew wider and you walked out of the lecture room and into the throng of students. 

*** 

“i sure hope that this date of mine is as good as you say…” you hummed, searching through your bag to make sure you have everything. “why does it have to be at this fancy restaurant again?”

“because the guy just so happens to be extra,” sakura says, taking a left turn and parking in front of a tall building. “you are wearing the heels i gave you right?”

you nodded begrudgingly, recalling how she forced you to wear them before you left your dorm.

she squealed, her bright blue eyes gleaming with happiness. “okay, so here’s the rundown. the restaurant is ise sueyoshi–”

“i’m sorry, ise sueyoshi, as in one of the most expensive restaurants in all of tokyo?”

“i tried to talk him out of it,” she defended, grimacing at the thought of the bill. “look, it’ll be fine. just don’t think about it, okay? after the restaurant, you’ll take a nice walk around the city! oh, and i’m confiscating your keys.”

you blanched, “what, why?”

“so that you can’t ditch him halfway. no one is going to be home until your date is over, so there’s no reason for you to ditch.” she grinned, “you’ll be fine! he’s a good guy, trust me on this.”

you groaned in annoyance but pushed the car door open. “i’ll call you when i get inside the restaurant.”

she beamed, yelling, “the reservation is under hasegawa sakura!” before driving off into the distance. 

a sigh left your lips as you stomp your way inside the building, taking the lift to the 11th floor. after entering the restaurant, you take a seat, looking at the bright city of tokyo below you. 

“what a view, huh?”

no. you scowled, looking up at atsumu. “i’ve seen better.”

he shrugged, taking the seat in front of you and swirling his cup of wine around. “so yer my blind date. i would have thought that sakura had better friends.” 

you sneered as you rose from your seat. “i was thinking the same thing. the only reason i’m on this stupid date is because of her, anyway.”

he grinned, and you felt a chill run down your spine as he says, “so ya asked her to set’cha up with me? very cute, sweetheart, but if ya wanted to go on a date with me, ya could have just asked.”

you scoffed, “i know full well about your reputation with girls, sweetheart. they go up to you all starry-eyed and then you break their hearts. besides, why the hell would i be attracted to someone like you?”

atsumu flinched at the honesty in your voice. do people really see him as some dream crusher heart breaker? “listen, sweet cheeks–” he relished in the way your cheeks darken at his words– “i am a great person.”

“yes, because every ‘great person’ flaunts about it in the hallways. yes, miya, you’re a great person.” the sarcasm rolled off your tongue fluidly, and he can’t help but roll his eyes when you speak again. “i lost my appetite. excuse me.”

he bolted up from his seat, eyes wide as you throw your bag over your shoulder and make your way out of the restaurant. “woah, woah, woah. do ya know how hard it was to get a reservation here? i even got a suit for this!”

“no, i don’t know how hard it was to get a reservation here. and this is just further proof you’re an asshole. you want to show off your money to some random stranger, knowing entirely that it’s a blind date.” you fake a smile and bow to the staff members.

atsumu faltered in  his step before continuing to run after you. “okay, listen–”

“no, i am not going to listen, because the only thing that comes out of your mouth is bullshit. come on sakura, pick up…” 

“(l/n)–”

“stop! okay, just… just stop.” your nostrils flared, and you turned around to shoot him a venomous glare. “i don’t care about you or your dumb polyester suit–”

“it’s wool.”

“–but you have to be stupid to think that i’d ever fall for you.” 

he groaned, wiping his face in frustration. “we’re both doing this for sakura so can ya just cooperate for one damn night?”

you grit your teeth, eyeing him carefully, “okay. just one night.”

*** 

“i have t’ask,” atsumu begins, your bag thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. “why are ya on this date anyway? woulda thought that someone as charming as you would have had a date by now.”

“i could ask you the same question,” you quip, eyes fixated on the bright city lights that you could see from the aoyama bridge. “it’s not important anyway.”

he shrugged, “just wanted to know why.”

“both sakura and aneko have boyfriends. it kind of sucks to be the third wheel all the time. they give me hell for not doing anything on friday nights, too,” you shrug, “i mean, it’s not a big deal.”

atsumu snorts at your words. “so you want a date for the sake of having a date?”

“i want a date for the sake of not being lonely,” you correct, “but i think i’m going to have to be lonely for the time being.”

“an’ why do you think that?” a lazy smirk rests on his lips. “i’d be a perfect boyfriend.”

“yeah, that’d appeal to someone who believes in romance,” you laugh, patting his cheek and taking your bag off him. 

to miya atsumu, life is a competition to be the best. who can win the most volleyball games? who can get the highest test result? who can eat the most onigiris from onigiri miya without taking breaks? life to him is a competition. it’s a race to the finish line and the person who gets there first is the winner. and what you just said? it sounds an awful lot like a challenge.

“alright then,” he grins at you, “i’ll make you fall in love with me by… say, end of june.”

“what’s that going to do for you? give you an ego boost?” you roll your eyes, “i’m not doing that.”

“scared, sweetheart?”

crossing your arms over your chest, you shoot him a glare. “no, i’m not. but i hope you realise that i am frankly feeling nothing.”

“is that so?”

“mmm, no. in fact, it could be less than nothing.” 

he chuckles, “good to know. so, you agree?”

“that this is a waste of a lovely night? yes.”

“you know what i mean. if i can make you fall in love with me by the end of june, you have to be my girlfriend.” 

you snort in response, “if i didn’t know any better, miya, i’d say you’re in love with me.” 

he rolls his eyes, clearly ignoring your first remark. “alright then, choose your prize if you’re so confident.”

“if you fall in love with me…” you hum an evil glint in your eye, “i get total and full control over your social media.”

he smirks, holding out his hand for you to shake. “anything for you, princess.”

*** 

to you, life was about survival. don’t die, don’t mess up, don’t be a failure. that also meant ‘don’t get lonely, because that just screws things up for everyone’. aneko had eito, her boyfriend since high school, and sakura had taniguchi kou, the manager for the ejp volleyball team. that must have been how she even had connections to miya atsumu in the first place. survival was also not doing anything unnecessary. whether it be sleeping at ungodly hours, binge-watching an entire anime, or just studying too much, you couldn’t do that because it’ll destroy your schedule the next day. your life was based on routine. that is, it was based on routine. 

“hey, (y/n), there’s some mail for you!” aneko yells out into the dorm, waving a pristine envelope around.

you raise an eyebrow. “it’s probably junk, just throw it out!”

“i’m gonna open it, okay?” she beams at you as you crack an egg into the pan.

“knock yourself out.” 

you hum quietly to yourself as you turn off the stove and move the egg on top of your rice. grabbing a pair of chopsticks from your drawer, you cut through the egg, just as you hear a squeal.

“(y/n), oh my god, did you buy volleyball tickets? they’re vips, too!”

“what?” you push your seat back, grabbing the envelope from aneko’s hands. “i didn’t buy any volleyball tickets? it’s probably been given to the wrong person.”

“but there was a note for you in the envelope…” she frowned, “are you sure that it’s not for you?”

confusion was clear on your face as you pulled the note out, but it was replaced with a look of pure annoyance when you realised exactly who the note was from. 

‘dear: (l/n) (y/n),

see you in the stands ;)

from: atsumu <3’

a deep scowl plasters itself onto your face and you dial his number into your phone. 

“did you–”

“you absolute asshole!” you yell into your phone, swiftly cutting him off, slapping a hand against your forehead. “i’m not going to your dumb volleyball game, got it? i have things to do and places to be.”

“you and i both know that isn’t true, sweetheart,” he snorts and you can practically hear his eye roll. “you told me yourself - you don’t usually have plans on friday nights.”

you grimace because yes, you did say that. “well maybe i have plans now?” the words came out as a question and he chuckles.

“come on, it’ll be fun!” 

“we’ll see,” you mutter before hanging up. 

*** 

“i’ve never been in a proper volleyball stadium before,” aneko says as she bit into her onigiri. “i can’t believe you got vip tickets, (n/n)!”

“yeah… amazing,” you manage, a meek smile plastered on your face. 

the entire stadium looks as if a rainbow puked on it. bright, colourful posters to support the players well held high in the air by multiple people. banners hang over the stands, the team’s logo and motto drawn in neat calligraphy... the multitude of people who came to watch was overwhelming – almost every seat has been filled. 

“the first match is… black jackals versus the sendai frogs!” aneko beams as she looks at the flyer. “wow, they’re both really good. (y/n), look at them!”

forcing the flyer in front of your face, you push it away from you so you could properly read it, taking note of the team members. each of the members on both teams look good — really good. you look around yourself and chuckle, of course. no wonder it was so full. most of the fans are girls anyway. 

one girl, sporting a bright blue shirt with the words ‘go atsumu!’, happens to catch your eye. she’s a typical popular girl — false clumpy lashes that you can spot from a mile away, hair curled in obnoxious rings, and a banner that screamed ‘look at me!’. you can tell from the amused looks the people gave her that she is a common spectator at msby games. 

“that’s emiko etsudo,” aneko grumbles, catching your gaze, “she’s in my lecture and never stops talking.”

“seems to be the type,” you snort, turning back to the volleyball courts where the players began to take their places.

the black jackals are insane. even when they were just starting up you can already tell how skilled they are. each spike that hits against the glossy wooden floors sends shivers down your spine. as the game went on and got more intense, it’s clear that msby was in the lead in the fifth set. both teams won two sets each, an impressive feat in itself, and the score for the fifth set is close — 11-10 in the jackal’s favour.

soon enough, atsumu’s turn to serve came around after a quick rotation, and the cheerleaders and band immediately fell into a hush. your eyes meet with atsumu and he sends a wink your way, resulting in a high pitched shriek to resound throughout the stadium. you can hear emiko freaking out and screaming that he was winking at her, amusing you. sending a small, two-fingered salute back at atsumu, you brushed your pants down as you stood up.

“i’m gonna head off to the bathroom for a second. i’ll be right back, okay?” 

aneko nods, fully immersed in the game. letting out a tired sigh, you leave the gym, searching for the restroom. the volleyball game must have ended a lot quicker than you expected when an entire team walks past you, almost trampling you in the process. 

“well, well, well. what do we have here?” 

you groan, “miya. i’m assuming you won?”

“don’t look so excited,” he grins boyishly, and you ignore the warming of your heart as he does. “we’re gonna go get some drinks after we win. care to join?”

he slings a sweaty arm over your shoulder and you cringe, pushing his arm off. “i don’t do drinks.”

“you harassing someone, miya?” a lazy voice drawls from behind you, and you almost jump at the random voice.

“o’course not, omi-kun!” atsumu snorts, “this is (y/n)!”

“(l/n),” you correct, patting his back sarcastically, “we’re not quite there yet.”

‘omi-kun’ raises an eyebrow. “right. nice to meet you.” and with that, he followed the rest of the team into the locker room, hands stuffed into his pockets. 

“that’s a character.” you roll your eyes. “anyway, i better head back to aneko. she’s probably getting worried.”

“i’ll walk ya,” he offers, a bright smile on his face, only for it to fall within seconds. 

“miya? what’s—”

a harsh squeal meets your ears and you flinch, whipping around to see etsudo, her merch in plain view and looking like a disco ball. 

“atsumu, oh my god, you were so good out there!” her high pitched voice rings in your ears. 

“shut up—” atsumu begins, but stops short. your words echo in his head, ‘they go up to you all starry-eyed and then you break their hearts’. “yeah, whatever.”

etsudo’s eyes widen and you can practically see the excitement oozing out of her. “i knew you’d love me!”

“how do you get that from— never mind,” you shake your head, a sarcastic smile on your face as you begin to walk away. “i’m gonna go. good luck with this, miya.”

“wait, hold on,” atsumu fumbles, running past etsudo and trailing behind you. “i said i would walk ya.”

“but you were having such a good time with your fangirl,” you say innocently, battering your eyelashes. “emiko etsudo, i think her name is?”

“don’t remind me,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “she’s gone to every game and thinks that i’m in love with her or something. spoiled pig…”

“so you don’t like her? do you hate all your fans?” you raise an eyebrow, both in curiosity and in disbelief.

he shrugs, a smirk on his face. “not all of them. you’re the only one i can tolerate.”

“smooth,” you laugh, “how many girls did you use that one on?”

“just one,” he hums, bumping his side gently against yours. 

you can’t deny the fluttering of your insides as he does and you scold yourself. this is a game to him — he doesn’t feel anything for you. 

“how nice of you,” you say, trying to ignore the growing blush on your cheeks and the heat that’s crawled up to your ears. “well, there’s aneko. i’m gonna go…”

“alright, then.” he grins, taking your hand and kissing the back of it. “until next time, sweet cheeks.” 

you gape as he leaves, cheeks hot with embarrassment and surprise. “wha-”

“(y/n), oh my god, was that atsumu?” aneko demands, shaking you to answer. 

you don’t respond, trying to calm yourself down from shock, your heart racing a thousand times an hour. you don’t mean anything to him. you’re a game to him — a game that he plays just to show everyone else that he is better than them.

“(y/n)? are you okay?”

you jolt out of your trance, blinking tiredly. “oh. yeah. i’m fine.”

*** 

“atsumu-san, who was that?” hinata bounds up to him, all smiles after winning against his longtime rival. 

“(l/n) (y/n), apparently,” sakusa responds, his hands still stuffed in his pockets and a towel around his shoulders. 

“oh, she’s sakura-chan’s friend, right?” bokuto asks brightly and takes a bite of his protein bar. 

atsumu nods, mind distant as he thinks about where to take you on your next ‘date’. it wouldn't be a real date if he already bet on it, right? would a cafe work? what about a cat cafe? do you even like cats?

“oi, miya.”

he looks up to see sakusa, and he grins, “knew i’d grow on you, omi-omi~”

“your face looks gross,” he scrunches his face in disgust.

“you had a funny look on your face, atsumu-san!” hinata laughs. 

“like how taniguchi-san looks at sakura-chan!” bokuto agrees side-eying atsumu who was no longer paying attention to the conversation. 

currently, atsumu was thinking of a million ways he could win your heart. he was thinking of a million ways to get you to fall for him, all so that he can prove to you that he isn’t as bad as you think he is. he had a little over a month to get you to fall in love with him and, granted, he did spill boiling coffee over you and then proceeded to not apologise. scratching his head in thought, a lightbulb suddenly dinged in his head. there is only one person in the world who knows everything about everything. and in this case? everyone. 

*** 

“nice try. not happening,” sakura responds swiftly, turning away from the setter. “look, atsumu, you’re my friend and all, but the fact that you want to win my best friend over for the sake of your pride isn’t a good enough reason to ‘get to know her’. if anything, it makes you seem like an even shitter person than everyone perceives you to be.”

he snorts at her words, “you really are a friend of (y/n). come on, sakura-chan! i just need to know what she likes! that’s all!”

sakura grits her teeth, beginning to regret sending you on that date with this piss-haired brat. “i don’t care, atsumu. i’m not going to let you break her heart for the sake of your stupid pride. you want to use someone for your stupid experiment? fine, not my problem, but you’re going to use my best friend.”

he flinches at her icy tone, now understanding why kou-san warned him about getting on sakura’s bad side. despite her incredibly bright and sunny disposition, she really was incredibly terrifying when it came to the people that she cared about which was not good for him. next attempt? fukuhara aneko. 

“i don’t understand why you’re trying so hard,” aneko remarks as she invites atsumu into the shared apartment, “you’re doing this… because you want to be known as some dreamboat who breaks girls’ hearts left right and centre?”

“i’m doing this to prove a point,” atsumu corrects, “but when you say it that way—”

“i am not going to let you break my best friend’s heart,” aneko cuts in, taking a knife out of the knife block and waving it around halfheartedly, relishing in the way the setter flinches. “nice try, though.”

he groans in annoyance, “sakura-chan said the same thing.”

“then why are you trying?” aneko demands, frustration clear in her voice, “you’re putting all this effort in to ‘prove a point’. do you know how ridiculous you sound? what’s the real reason you want to win (y/n) over?”

at her words, atsumu falls silent. as cliche as it seemed, you were interesting to him. you’re different, and at his thoughts, the volleyball player cringes internally. to be entirely fair, and to give you credit, you stood your ground around him which was admirable, to say the least. unlike the other ‘spoiled pigs’, you actually have some sort of awareness. maybe he… 

he shakes his head, snorting quietly. as if he attracted to someone the likes of you. 

“i’ll figure it out myself,” atsumu concludes, avoiding aneko’s unimpressed gaze. “she has to fall for me at some point. does she have any social media?”

“i thought you said that you’ll figure it out yourself,” aneko responds drily. “why don’t you just ask her yourself? let me guess; your pride?"

to atsumu, that sounded a whole lot like a challenge. 

*** 

for a friday morning, you were surprisingly busy, especially because of all the practice exams you’ve been doing as preparation for an exam that will take place in less than three months. but of course, no day passes without a few random interruptions. 

“hey, sweetheart, you doing anything?” 

atsumu’s annoying voice rang in your ears through the phone, and you couldn’t help but grit your teeth. “what do you want, miya?”

“i was just wondering if there’s anything in particular you wanted to do, lately,” he responds, his voice in a sing-song tone. “just figured i should take you out on a better date.”

you scoff at his proposal, “nice try, miya. you’re not getting me that easily.”

“aw, don’t be like that, darling! i’ll take you out to get coffee, how about that?”

a silence washes over you as you consider his offer. to be entirely fair, you couldn’t really say no to a free food, and it did give him a chance to redeem himself. not to mention you definitely did need the coffee at some point.

“alright, miya, let’s do it.” you shrug, not that he could see it, “when and where?”

“i’ll text you the address,” he responds, and you can hear the pride and smugness through the phone. “see you there, babe.”

from: miya

hey princess!

from: miya

[sent location]

from: miya

see you in 20!

a sigh escapes your lips, not believing that you actually let yourself be dragged into this mess – a mess that was only made for atsumu’s pride and ego. picking up your bag, you made your way over to the location he sent you, praying that it wasn’t some sick joke and that you weren’t about to be murdered. 

your arrival at the cafe doesn’t go unnoticed by the volleyball player, the little bell at the door welcoming you in and announcing your presence to the rest of the people inside. you don’t miss the way atsumu’s head spins around to look at you, a boyish grin spreading onto his face as if to say, “i can’t believe you’re actually here.” you find it funny, considering how he’s the one who invited you here in such an ominous way. he waves you over enthusiastically – too enthusiastically – and you ignore the quickening of your heart at the way he looks so excited to see you. 

he’s not happy to see you, you have to remind yourself – although you feel your heart begin to sink at your own thoughts. you huff, now is not the time to be caught up in his romantic theatrics. the only reason why he’s so excited to see you is to rub it in your face that you actually fell for it. right?

“i already ordered for us!” atsumu said happily, taking a sip of his coffee for affect, “ya don’t mind, do ya, princess?” 

“atsumu, do you really think i’m a princess?” you ask, batting your eyelashes. 

“ya know i do, princess!” he smiles, pushing a dark chocolate mocha towards you.

“then stop making decisions for me,” you deadpan, crossing your legs. “how do you even know what i order anyway?”

another obnoxious grin your way as he answers, “i have connections.”

you scoff once again, rolling your eyes as you lifted the drink to your lips. 

atsumu hates the way his eyes fell to your lips as you spoke and he hates the way his heart began to pound the second you stepped through the door of the cafe. he isn’t supposed to feel this way – he’s not supposed to like you. so he suppresses his feelings. as usual. 

the date – could you even call it a date? – ended on a positive note to your surprise. atsumu was clearly doing his best to be ‘the man of your dreams’, and as much as you appreciated his gentlemanly ways, you hated to admit that you missed his teasing charms and his childish antics. the idea of you missing his annoying nature is beyond your own understanding, to the point where you were almost sure that he had successfully brainwashed you. 

you shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts away as you return to the present. atsumu decided to walk you back to your dorm which, to give him credit, was actually quite sweet of him… even though you kept insisting that it wasn’t necessary. 

“hey, lets do this again sometime,” you find yourself saying, realising that you actually did enjoy the boy’s company. “it was fun!”

he smirks smugly at you, and you had to laugh as he says, “i knew i’d grow on you, love!”

“just be yourself next time,” you snort, patting him on the shoulder as you walk to the entrance of your dorm building. “i’m paying!”

“as if!” he yells back, and you smile as he waves goodbye. 

you’re left to your thoughts as you ride the elevator to the seventh floor, thinking over what just transpired. it was weird – considering atsumu’s naturally flirtatious character – and if you had to be completely honest with yourself, it was unnerving seeing him do a complete one-eighty regarding his personality. 

the biggest thing that worried you was how he was so willing and quick to change his personality for someone. was he that desperate to prove himself to a complete stranger?

“so…?”

you hear a voice as you enter your dorm. there, sakura leaned against the kitchen counter, the biggest and the smuggest look on her face. 

“how was the date?” she coos, eyes glistening in mischief. 

“weird,” you respond, dropping your bags to the side as you pull a chair out to sit. “sakura, you know him. has he ever been in any… bad relationships?”

she thinks for a moment before responding, “why do you ask?”

you shrug, resting your chin on the palm of your hand. “he just seems to eager to prove how macho he is. did something happen?”

“from what i know, and from what kou’s told me, he’s always been like that. you could always ask osamu-san, though. you know him, the owner of onigiri miya.”

you clicked your fingers in acknowledgement, “so that’s why he looked so familiar! i haven’t been to that place in ages!”

she nods, “ask osamu. tell him i sent you.”

*** 

“kombu-onigiri for (l/n) (y/n)!” osamu calls out to the small crowd of people, and you have to do a double take when you see him. 

he was practically the same as atsumu, aside from his dark grey eyes and ash brown hair, and you had to hold your tongue from complaining. 

“thanks,” you smile, taking the little bag. 

“i haven’t seen you in a while,” osamu comments as he prepares another order. “busy with uni?”

you sigh tiredly, “it is what it is. i wanted to talk to you about something.”

he nods, “shoot. umekaka-onigiri for kimura!”

“it’s about atsumu.”

he stops before turning to you slowly. “... let’s wait until i close, yeah? happy to wait for another hour or so?”

“take your time.”

time passes quickly among the quiet vocaloid music and the volleyball game that played on the tv overhead, as well as the multitude of customers that came and went. osamu gave you complimentary onigiris while you waited and despite your initial denial of the free food, you had to give in to the soft smell of caramelised rice and sesame oil. 

it was well past seven o’clock by the time osamu was able to speak to you, but at least you were well fed while you waited. 

“sorry about that,” osamu apologises, untying his apron and placing a cup of hot green tea in front of you. “what did you want to talk about?”

at that moment, you want to scream at the universe. of course, you’re stuck with the annoying stuck up brat instead of the sweet chef that sat in front of you. 

“don’t worry about it,” you smile, wrapping your hands around the warm cup. “atsumu… has he ever been in any bad romantic relationships?”

he doesn’t respond directly, instead chuckling and asking, “you’re the girl he’s seeing, aren’t you? the hard-headed one? what does he call you again? oh, ‘princess’, was it?”

you raise an eyebrow, “he talks about me?”

he smirks, leaning back in his seat and there’s a smugness as he says, “a lot more than you think, princess.”

you take back everything you said about the universe. both the miya twins were equally insufferable. 

“don’t call me that. and answer the question!”

his face falls from the obnoxious grin he once had and settles into a frown. “he was. a year ago, with… tachibana reina, i think. fucking bitch.”

your eyes widen at the sudden coldness and spite that drips from his words. “what happened?”

“cheated on him. treated him like shit. god… no wonder he’s been going on so many dates.” he runs a hand through his hair in frustration. “i shouldn’t tell you this, and frankly i shouldn’t be telling you anything, but…”

he looks around, almost comically, before saying, “i really think you’re good for him, (y/n). i’m serious. out of all the girls he’s gone on dates with, he’s made it pretty clear that he likes you.”

you almost laugh if he wasn’t so serious. “he’s only trying so hard to prove a point, osamu. he doesn’t feel anything for me.”

he sips his green tea, laughing quietly, “i promise he actually likes you. he’s just scared, y’know?”

“from everything you’ve told me? i get it.” it’s your turn to frown as you digest his words. “i just need to take care of myself too, that’s all.”

“just talk to him. really, he’s not as bad a guy as you’d expect.”

*** 

after days of psyching yourself up – only to psych yourself out – you find yourself waiting at the university gym, cringing internally at the smell of sweat and antiperspirant. but all that goes away the moment you sit at the bleachers, the manager of the team nodding in acknowledgement. the rest of the volleyball team didn’t seem to notice your entry into the gym, and if they did, they clearly didn’t pay any mind to it as they continued their practice game. and damn was it a view. strangely enough, you found your eyes to linger a little too long on a familiar blond player, him sporting the number ‘7’ on his jersey. 

as much as you wanted to deny it, it was undeniably cute and inspiring to see him work so hard. but it all comes crashing down when he lands awkwardly on his leg after a block. 

it all happens so quickly; the captain calling for a time-out, the manager rushing over to him and the coach yelling for everyone to give him some room. you stand from your seat, hoping to get a better view of what was going on, and you did. and you wished you just stayed seated or you could purge the image out of your memory.

there atsumu sat, trying and failing to get up without anyone’s help. it was a painful scene to watch as he gasped in pain and exhaustion, denying his captain’s hand and ignoring his manager’s pleas to let the rest of the team help him. 

“hey, atsumu…” 

his neck snaps to look at you, your hand outstretched with a lopsided smile on your face (you tried to make it reassuring). 

“come on, ‘tsumu. let’s get you to the infirmary.”

you help him wrap an arm over your neck as you hoist him up, him balancing on his good leg. 

“i got it from here,” you say to the coach who let out a heave of relief. 

“thank you, (l/n).”

the walk to the infirmary was quiet, and although it was only a short distance, the journey seemed to stretch on and on. the moment he makes his presence aware to the nurse, she fusses over him, almost like a mother goose tending to her child. 

it was obvious that atsumu was doing his best to stay strong, despite how his brown eyes glossed over with tears and how he hissed in pain when the nurse moved his ankle slightly. 

“a sprain,” she says to the both of you, before addressing the boy in front of her. “grade two sprain, teetering to grade three. i’m calling six weeks off the ankle and then rehab for two weeks.”

“that’s… two months?” 

the voice crack is evident in the setter’s voice and he’s on the verge of tears. you would be, too if you were in his shoes. taking one month off to recover is already bad enough for an athlete, let alone two. 

she nods, “i’ll let your coach know. stay off the ankle, atsumu, i mean it.” she turns to you, “you make sure of it, okay?”

“of course.”

you drive atsumu’s car (a fancy mercedes because apparently their team was sponsored by them or something like that) to his dorm, helping him onto the couch. 

“are you okay?”

he nods and you watch him swallow the lump in his throat.

you ask him again, and it’s only then when he cries. you sit beside him as he cries into the crook of your neck, his hair tickling your cheek and your ear as you rub his back. you press kisses to the top of his head, denying every horrible harsh thing that comes out of his mouth. he cries and cries until there’s nothing left to cry about. he cries about his injury and how he’s letting everyone down. he cries about how he’s never good enough and how you deserve better – someone who isn’t stuck up and obnoxious. he cries about reina and how it’s his fault she fell out of love with him. he cries about how he was horrible to osamu, his brother who put up with all his problems and who always treats him with kindness despite everything. he apologises and apologises until he falls asleep in your arms, and at that moment you shed a tear. 

you hate yourself for all the harsh things you say about him behind closed doors. you hate the way you thought of him as a nuisance because, god, he is the furthest thing from a nuisance. you hate the way you used to wish he wasn’t in your life because you realise that now you wouldn’t know how life would be without seeing his pretty face and his genuine joy to see you. 

you move him so that he can rest his head on a cushion – a feat in itself considering that he’s 73 kilograms of pure muscle – before making a phone call.

when he finally wakes, the first thing he sees is you. 

“you’re awake,” you say, more to yourself than to him. 

“sorry,” he responds, his eyes puffy and swollen, and you raise an eyebrow at his word as he pushes himself up from the couch so that his back was against the backrest. 

“you don’t need to apologise,” you chuckle, “anyway, i called osamu-san about what happened and he brought some food for you to eat.”

he’s silent, looking up at you, confusion clear in his eyes. why are you being so… nice to him?

“i thought you hated me,” he says bitterly, his gaze shifting to his hands. 

you falter, and you stop stirring the udon. “i… i’m sorry.” you look back at the pot, “i never… i never hated you.”

he scoffs in disbelief, “you did. i know you did.”

“i didn’t,” you respond firmly, moving to pour the udon into a large bowl, “i didn’t hate you. i think i hated the idea that you were using me, or something.” you sprinkle some spring onions over the udon before topping it up with an egg and the tempura that osamu helped you fry earlier. “that’s what you wanted, isn’t it? this entire thing is a game – a bet – to boost your ego.” he’s quiet as you talk, and you sigh in both frustration and regret. “but i never hated you. and i’m sorry that you felt like i did.”

you place the bowl in front of him on the coffee table, wiping your hands on your pants awkwardly. “um, yeah… i’m gonna clean up now so… call me when you need me, i guess.” 

“can you stay here?” atsumu asks suddenly, and you nod. 

“sure.”

*** 

despite all your protests and your pleas, you, osamu, and atsumu walk into the university gym four weeks later. well, it wasn’t so much walking for atsumu as it was wheeling him through the glass sliding doors. that was your condition for him to enter the gym: for him to sit in a wheel chair while you wheel him around. sure, wheeling around a man the size of atsumu isn’t what you would consider to be fun, but the doctor did call for at least six weeks off the injury, and you weren’t about to be scolded by a medical personnel. osamu tags along with you, saying that he wanted to ‘see his brother in his misery’. 

cheers and greetings from the team flood your ears, and you grin happily at all of them. of course, sakusa wastes no time in shooting sarcastic comments to atsumu, but you know that deep down he’s happy that his friend is doing okay with his injury. hinata and bokuto are beyond excited, high-fiving atsumu and telling him that they can’t wait for him to get back onto the court. meian scolds atsumu lightly for not taking care of himself, but he turns to you with a grateful smile. 

you smile at the scene, standing off to the side with a few other people as you watch everyone reconnect with their ‘long lost team member’ when you notice osamu’s face fall. his expression hardens and he narrows his eyes at the door. 

“osamu, what–”

one look at the gym doors is enough to make your heart fall as a tall girl stands at the entrance. it’s almost impossible to miss her – what, with her obnoxious outfit that doesn’t fit a university gym in the slightest – as she looks around the gym with a raised eyebrow. it’s only when she sees atsumu does her expression change into a ridiculous tear-stricken look, her eyebrows knitting together as her brilliant blue eyes well with tears. 

“atsumu!” she cries, and everyone turns around as her high-pitched voice enters their ears. 

meian blinks in confusion before turning to atsumu, whose face is now pale white before settling into a frown. 

“atsumu-san, who is that?”

“tachibana reina,” osamu scowls, stepping in front of his brother protectively. “what the hell are you doing here?”

tachibana sniffs before wiping a stray tear off from her cheek. “i heard that atsumu-chan was injured so i came right away!”

you grit your teeth, moving to stand beside the onigiri-maker. “he was injured four weeks ago. if you really did care, you would have at least called earlier.”

her expression shifts in an almost comical way, an eyebrow raising at you and she speaks as if you burned her. “who are you?”

“we could ask you the same question,” sakusa spits back, lifting his mask up to cover his face as he expresses his hostility. 

samson foster, the coach of msby, steps forward to meet with tachibana, and you can tell that he isn’t at all pleased. first of all, she decides to wear three-inch high heels into a gym, proceeds to jump herself onto an injured team member, and she didn’t even ask to visit from one of the team or staff members. 

you crouch beside atsumu so that you can look in his eyes as you ask him, “you want to go now?”

he swallows thickly, eyes flicking to where tachibana stands, before nodding. “yeah.” he looks away from you when he says it. 

“okay.”

you nod in acknowledgement to the rest of the team, osamu saying that he wanted to be with the team in hopes to diffuse the situation and in hopes of sending tachibana packing. sakusa raises an eyebrow at you and you smile reassuringly, mouthing the words, ‘i’ll text you later’, which he responds with a nod of his own. 

“she has some nerve,” you comment as you drive through the freeway. “coming all the way here, i mean. she’s already done so much to hurt you and she just pops in from out of the blue?” you scoff, shaking your head as you indicate left to reach the exit. “i’ve only met her for ten seconds and i already hate her. how did you even survive dating her for as long as you did?”

he chuckles from beside you, “i guess we all make bad dating mistakes.”

“she’s the worst.” you roll your eyes, pulling up to his driveway. “you have the patience of a fucking saint.”

you help him into his apartment, quietly hoping that the issue at the gym has been diffused. you doubt it, considering the stories atsumu has told you about his lying ex-girlfriend, but you had to hope for the best. 

“regardless of whether or not she actually cares for you, her actions were uncalled for.” you continue as you prop up your laptop on the coffee bench. “did you see osamu’s face?”

he laughs loudly, moving to sit closer next to you. “he has a dumb face.”

“you have the same face!” you cry out, clapping him on the shoulder. “anyway, i have an exam in a couple days, so hush.”

he shoots you another cheeky grin and you condemn the way your heart stutters in your chest.  

“anything you say, princess.”

*** 

“welcome back,” coach foster chuckles, clapping atsumu on the back as he walks into the gym. “your ankle all good? you went to all your rehab sessions, right?”

“o’course!” atsumu grins, stumbling a little from the force of the clap. “(Y/N) wouldn’t let me skip any even if i wanted to.”

bokuto snickers, “oh yeah, your girlfriend!”

atsumu chuckles at his friends words, waving them off. “nah, she’s not my girlfriend.”

“but you like her, right?” hinata is quick to respond, wiggling his brows. “even sakusa likes her!”

atsumu’s face morphs into a betrayed one as he wails teasingly, drooping and arm over his friend. “no, omi-omi, how could you do this to me?!”

“get off.” sakusa grumbles not unkindly. “you smell.”

“oi, i showered!”

while atsumu was living his life, you were tempted to stay at home for a week while your mourned. what exactly were you mourning though? simple: the fact that you were very much gaining feelings for miya atsumu. in other words, you were wallowing in your misery. this wasn’t supposed to happen. you weren’t supposed to let him win. 

“it’s really not that bad,” sakura offers, patting your head sympathetically. “i know it’s not ideal-”

“not ideal?” you demand, bringing your head up fro your pillows to glare at her. “this is, like, the worst thing that could happen!”

“i think you’re overreacting,” aneko offers from the otherside of the couch, rolling her eyes when your bury your face into the pillow in your arms again. 

“i’m not overreacting,” you groan, words muffled by the pillows. you lift your head up once again and you scrunch your face in frustration. “he’s- he’s- this entire thing is a game to him! he doesn’t even like me!”

“i really doubt that,” sakura says gently, rubbing your back. “i know it might seem like he’s an asshole, but he’s a really nice person.”

aneko snorts, “i don’t think you need to tell her that.”

“i hate you both!” you complain, flopping backwards in your agitation. “he’s going to break my heart.”

your friends exchange looks before aneko pipes up once again. “maybe you should talk to him about it.”

“as if!” you snap, crossing your arms over your chest. “he’s just going to rub it in my face.”

sakura squeezes your shoulder reassuringly. “sweetie, i really don’t think he’d do that.”

“but you don’t know if he will or not!” you let out another scream into your pillow, tears prickling your eyes. “how could i be so- so- so stupid?!”

“you’re not being stupid. it’s normal to catch feelings and you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. atsumu probably feels the same way.”

you roll your eyes, “yeah, right. he thought i hated him for the longest time.”

“but you made up for it,” aneko responds without missing a beat. “you literally stayed with him almost the entire time he was healing. and now, he’s back on the court doing better than ever.”

“not to mention the fact that you guys literally hang out every single day. it’s getting kind of lonely here,” sakura teases, ruffling your hair. “look, if atsumu doesn’t like you back, that just shows how much of a dick he is and is just a red flag avoided. it’s a win-win situation. you literally cannot lose.”

“she has a point, y’know,” aneko chuckles, “no matter what happens, you’d be the winner.”

“i guess so… ugh, why does this all have to be so confusing?”

“how about you tell him how you feel during his next game,” aneko suggests, pulling out her phone. “see, look, it says that they have a game next week. why don’t you tell him then?”

you nod, jumping to your feet in determination. “i can do this.”

***

you cannot do this.

there you sit on the last day of june, coincidentally also the last game of the season, palms hot and sweaty as you ruminate on whatever you’re going to do after the game is over. atsumu is performing as well as ever – sets dangerously accurate, serves powerful and as strategic as usual – and you can’t help the way your eyes are trained on him. it’s almost as if you couldn’t avert your eyes no matter how much you wanted to. even still, your heart is pounding in your chest (not because you were invested in the game) and you had half the mind to leave the stadium. only, that wasn’t an option because atsumu already spotted you in the crowd. why did you let your dumb friends convince you to do this?

the whistle sounds, bringing your out of your thoughts and you glance at the score board. 25 - 19, in favour of the jackals. both teams were filtering out of the gym as well as the spectators in the stands and you follow suit, squeezing through the throngs of people. you toss between leaving and staying again as you navigate through the crowds – maybe you can run from your problems? – only to quite literally run into your problem. 

an ugly squawk escapes your lips and you cringe internally. ‘how romantic,’ you scoff to yourself sarcastically as you rub your forehead. 

“oof, sorry, princess, are you okay?” atsumu steadies you in an instant, pushing your hair back to survey the damage. “no bruises?”

you let out an airy laugh. “no harm done. congrats on your win.”

he grins, winking, “anything for you, princess.” he pauses, looking you up and down. “what are you doing here?”

“nothing!” you reply quickly, and you kick yourself internally for being awkward. “uh… nothing.”

he hums in amusement, “so you only came here for the fun of it?”

you wonder how your roommates would react if you came back to the flat still single. would it be worth leaving right now? you’re only delaying the inevitable, you hear aneko’s voice in your head and you cringe because you can imagine her saying it in that disappointed motherly voice she uses. you can imagine sakura nodding beside her, giving you a look that screamed you’re a right idiot.

“i wanted to talk to you,” you find yourself saying, wringing your hands in anxiety. “you should change first. and shower.”

he throws his head back and laughs. “yeah, i’ll see you in a bit.”

a bit passes by quicker than expected with sakusa kiyoomi leaving the changing room’s first and nodding at you in respect, followed by hinata and bokuto who grin wildly and pat you on the shoulder before meeting their respective rides (you recognise one to be kageyama tobio, the setter for another volleyball team but the other is equally as attractive with dark hair and glasses framing his blue eyes). the rest of the team emerges from the showers, chattering away and obviously pumped about their win. you hear someone – their captain? – yell about drinks to which the remaining people there agree heartily, but you feel an arm rest on your shoulder.

“sorry, guys, but i have plans with this lovely lady. maybe next time!” he grins, propping his sports bag securely on his shoulder before walking you out.

“i- wait, ‘tsumu, if you have plans-”

his smile widens at the nickname and his hand moves to rest at your waist. “i do have plans! with you!”

your cheeks burn at his words and you laugh in response. you glance at him from the corner of your eye and he seems to be at ease. his hand brushes against yours for a seconds and you swallow thickly – are you reading too much into things? a breath escapes your lips as the two of you walk around the city, the moon appearing from behind some clouds as you do. for someone who was just running around wildly on a court, atsumu was certainly energetic. 

“remember this place?” he asks, moving to stand between you and the road. 

you only just realise your surroundings and you chuckle once you see the all too familiar street you were currently standing on. “of course i do.”

he laughs, throwing his head back, and you think it’s one of the nicest sounds you’ve ever heard. 

the towering building that holds the renowned ise sueyoshi looms over the two of you, and you can’t help but feel nostalgic. the bright lights of the building shines through the windows and you can see the pale orange light against the inky blue sky. the kanji for the building is lit up in bright yellow, and you wouldn’t be surprised if the line was still long at this time of night. 

a short walk later and you’re back at aoyama bridge, the cherry blossoms blowing gently through the wind. a few other people are scattered around the bridge, mostly couples holding hands save for the odd jogger or two. the walk was short – less than ten minutes – and you’re grateful for the fresh air. you rest your arms against the rails of the bridge, enjoying the cool air against your skin. atsumu stands beside you, his back against the rails and his bag on the floor.

“i wanted to talk to you,” you say finally after long moments of silence. you glance at your watch: ten minutes to midnight. 

he quirks an eyebrow, turning his head to look at you fully. “what’s up?”

a breath leaves your lips as your wring your hands nervously over the railing. you look up at him with a small smile. “i like you.”

you expect him to laugh. to gloat in your face. to point and laugh and call you stupid. or maybe to run away with his tail between his legs. you expect him to stare at you in disgust and in annoyance, to roll his eyes and spit at your feet. you don’t, however, expect him to take a step towards you and cup your face with his warm calloused hands. you don’t, as much as you hoped, expect him to press his lips to yours, holding your gently as if you were porcelain. you don’t expect him to bring you closer to his chest, burying his head into your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist. but atsumu miya is full of surprises. 

“i like you, too.” he mumbles, and you shiver from the way his breath brushes over the skin on your neck. 

your heart is thundering in your chest and the blood rushes to your ears. “what?”

he laughs, bringing his head back up to look you in the eye. “i like you, too.”

one hand cups your cheek and the other pulls you in from your waist and he kisses you again. you pull away for air, cheeks warm and head spinning. 

“yeah?”

another laugh. “of course i do, princess.” then he grins, “be my girlfriend? ya can’t say no.”

confusion enters your mind before it dawns on you. you glance at your watch – 11:59 pm. you gape at him, mouth opening and closing as you struggle to find something to say.

“i guess we both lose,” you say finally, rolling your eyes after you calm down. 

he chuckles, taking your hand. “i’d say we’re both winners.”

you smile at his words. “couldn’t stand my charm, could you, miya?”

“as if!” he yells, snorting. “you fell for my charms, too!”

you stick your tongue out and swing your arms. “whatever you say, sweet cheeks.”

he kisses your cheek. “i do say, princess.”

you hum, breathing in the cool night air as you walk. “what do you think, ‘tsumu? waste of a lovely night?”

“absolutely not, princess.”

quick trivia:

ise sueyoshi: a real restaurant found in tokyo, japan. a high end restaurant that specialises in traditional japanese food.

aoyama bridge: a real bridge in tokyo, japan. approximate 9 minute walk from ise sueyoshi and is actually a tourist destination.

reblogs are always appreciated!

[wonijinjin]

thinkin’ about you

author’s note: inspired by the song ‘thinkin’ about you’ by seventeen. also, this fic will probably get a second part, because i just cannot leave this on a cliffhanger without a sequel, that would be a shame

update: second part of this fic can be found here.

synopsis: you drinking a little too much and calling joshua to take you home wasn’t the best idea, or was it?

word count: 1.2k | genre: fluff, mutual pining, kinda slowburn, the tiniest bit of hurt/comfort and angst, close friends to something more | pairing: joshua x gn! reader | warnings: mentions of alcohol and being tipsy/drunk, the curse word ‘fuck’

your exam season at university was finally over, and to celebrate passing your tests you and your friends decided on going out to party at a club in the city. it was already past midnight, the party going on for several hours at that point, when you started to get really tired, having had multiple shots and cocktails, but your friends insisted on staying a bit longer. you could feel yourself get tipsier by the minute so you thought the safest option would be going home before you did something stupid or embarrassing you would regret in the morning. you took out your phone and dialed the first number that came to mind, your close friend’s, joshua’s. while waiting for him to pick up the phone your messy thoughts wondered to your long existing not so platonic feelings for him. he made your heart jump every time you thought about him, which was almost always, not just due to your feelings, but because you spent a lot of time with him on a daily basis as he was a very dear person to your heart. you have known him for as long as you can remember, and he was truly the most amazing friend you had, always being there for you, always treating you with so much care. he was like this with most of his friends, he cherished people around him and never took them for granted, you really admired him for this. you sometimes hated loving him, because it was so difficult to keep your emotions to yourself for this exact reason. who could blame you though? he was all anyone would wish for in a partner, kind, intelligent, considerate, caring.

“hello? y/n? what’s up?” he said as he picked up, voice hoarse, laced with sleep. “ah were you sleeping? sorry, should’ve known you need your beauty sleep to be this handsome.” you slurred, clearly more drunk than you thought. “were you drinking?” he questioned “are you hurt or something?” his voice sounded concerned. you laughed at this “nooo silly, i am perfectly fine, i had so much fun” there was a moment of silence before you continued “…but i need a favor, all my friends want to stay here longer, so i need a ride home. no way i’m getting into a car driven by a stranger, plus i don’t even have enough money for a taxi.” you expected him to say no, after all, it was in fact the middle of the night and he clearly had better plans on how to spend his. he sighed on the other end of the line “fine, i would much rather drive you home than letting you ask a stranger from the club to do it when you are clearly wasted as fuck.” he said while shuffling echoed in the phone, indicating that he was already getting up and changing. you knew he was right; you were not in the best shape. maybe the last margarita was a bit too much? “thank you shua baby.” the nickname slipped out on accident and if you were sober you would’ve gasped and started apologising right away, saying that he should forget about this, but you couldn’t really care less in that moment. you could hear the hitch in his breathing and the tension in his voice when he said goodbye over the phone, asking for your location and saying he would text you when he was there. you wondered; maybe drinking was a good decision, maybe getting a bit bold with words is what you needed as encouragement to tell him the secret you’ve been hiding for quite a while now, maybe you should really confess to him while you are not scared of the consequences.

20 minutes later you got the text from him and you were ready to leave. your confident march from the entrance to the car failed though when you tripped over your own feet, almost breaking half of your bones in the process. “oh my god y/n how much did you drink?” someone asked while helping in restoring your balance. you knew it was joshua right away, that voice cannot be mistaken for anybody else. “a little too much, i think?” you giggled. joshua took you to his car and opened the door for you to climb into the passenger seat. “wow thank you this is so fancy i feel like royalty.” you commented, still grinning. “well i do feel like a personal chauffeur now, coming here just to be taking your ass home. let’s go, put that leg inside so we can go, your highness.” he demanded while grabbing your leg, tired of waiting for you to clumsily get into the vehicle.

after he shut the door and got in himself to start the engine you two sat in silence for a little while before you spoke up. “i’m really sorry you have to take me home, i know i was selfish for asking, but i really didn’t have a better plan. i didn’t feel like i was this drunk when i was inside, but sitting here made me regret having the last drinks.” he looked at you at the red light. “look, i don’t mind this, really. you are one of my best friends, i would do this a hundred times if it meant you got home safely and some weirdo didn’t kidnap you or something. also, you thinking about me first when asking for help is quite flattering too you know.” he smirked. you nodded, eyes getting heavy suddenly from all that partying. “i can see you almost falling asleep. there’s a jacket on the back seat if you want it as a makeshift blanket. i will wake you when we get there. go to sleep y/n.” you didn’t bother to search for the jacket, just closed your eyes, letting sleep overtake you. “what you said is true. i do think about you a lot, shua. probably more than a close friend should.” you mumbled, already half asleep, still not sobering up enough to control and censor your thoughts before saying them out loud. “what do you mean?” his eyes went wide and he looked in your direction as if he misheard what you had said, only to see you knocked out cold, sleeping soundly like a baby. on the way to your house he couldn’t stop himself from replaying your words in his head over and over again while he checked on you from time to time to see if you were alright. he couldn’t believe what he had just heard, that you might’ve felt something more for him, something friends don’t feel, something he had been suppressing for a long time, a warm feeling in his chest. when you arrived he turned off the car, however didn’t have the heart to wake you. he knew you were exhausted, so he draped his jacket over you, and let you sleep for a bit longer, watching you rest so peacefully after shaking up his heart with your drunk monologue. he didn’t know if he should believe you, if he really had a chance of being more than friends with you after all these years. he got comfortable in his seat, facing your form, eyes looking at your still face.

“i know you are sleeping, but just so you know we will definitely have to talk about this little sentence of yours in the morning y/n. i do think about you a lot too, you know? you need to be more clear next time, because you cannot do this to me, driving me crazy and leaving me to chase false hopes.”

[nattylvr]

When you get a taste, can you tell me what’s my flavor?

requested\ yes

a/n: i got a request for a Tai slowburn, so you know i had to make it a homoerotic friendship, hope you enjoy it💞

warnings: best friends longing for each other, talk about exes, a little bit of angst

summary: You and Taissa were just friends, right?

Taissa was your best friend, nothing more, nothing less. You were on the same soccer team and you did everything together, but that’s normal, right?

Anyhow, her birthday was this Saturday and you made it your personal mission to let her have the best birthday ever, the one she’ll always remember. The whole squad was in on it, you already agreed with Lottie to have it at her huge ass house, nicely decorated. Nat and Van were gonna take care of the booze, and Jackie and Shauna were on food. You had the hardest task of all, and that was to convince her to show up. You’d thrown her a rager, with the whole school invited basically, but it wasn’t any good if she wasn’t there. Now, she loves parties, big ones, but convincing her to casually go to Lottie’s house on her birthday? That was gonna be tough, since Tai is known to be stubborn.

“How do you think i should convince her to come?” You asked Lottie, who was sat next to you at our lunch table

“What, you haven’t told her yet?” Lottie asked a little shocked

“No, of course not! I want it to be a surprise!” You said like it was the most obvious thing in the world

“Jesus Christ…I have no idea. But you better figure it the fuck out, or it’ll all have been for nothing!” Lottie said annoyed

“I kno-“

“What will have been for nothing?” Taissa asked, appearing behind us

“Uhh, my studying for the math quiz, if I don’t do well” Worst lie in history. Lottie seemed to think so as well when she had to hold back a laugh

“I’ll meet you guys later” Lot said getting up, the tension could’ve been cut with a knife

Tai sat across me, you kept eating and refusing to look her in the eye.

“Is there something you’re not telling me?” Tai asked knowing you couldn’t lie for too long

“No, everything is good…I mean not like good, just like…normal.” Good job!

“Mhm…and I definitely didn’t hear you talking about a surprise, right?” She asked staring right at my soul

“Fine, God I threw you a party…and it was supposed to be a surprise.” You said defeated

“Wha- Wait like a legit party?” Tai asked

“Yeah It’s at Lottie's, I made like a thousand written and copied invitations for our entire class and it said ‘Don’t mention to Taissa’ with these big red letters” When you told her about it you sounded kinda dorky to yourself, but it didn’t seem that way to her at all

“Don’t shy away, that’s so sweet of you! And I’ll totally act surprised in front of the others if you want me to.” She said holding your hand on the table gently

“Oh will you, reallyyy?” You asked her, you really wanted the girls to think she was mesmerized by your oh so hard work

“Yeah, sure.” She said not letting go of your hand

That was a success, but you couldn’t shake the feeling of only one thing.

Her hand was so soft

You just wanted to hold it forever. But that’s normal for best friends, right?

Yet there you were, supposed to be focusing on a test while thinking of Taissa’s hands

When school was done, you got in your car, of course you were giving Tai a ride, so you waited for her. It is safe to say when you saw her exiting school you were not happy. She was walking with Van who she used to date. In her defense they did break up on good terms, but you still didn’t like it. But that’s normal, you were just looking out for your friend, right?

“Hey sweetie” Tai said opening the passenger seat door and getting in

“Hi love…so what are you gonna wear tomorrow?” You asked her in anticipation

“Well I was thinking that orange dress, with the headband, they match” She said touching up her gloss, looking in her compact mirror

“I’m not sure whether to wear a dress at all.”

“You should, you always wear baggy clothes.” Tai said

“Why does that matter?” You asked her as you started to drive

“Well you look super hot when you dress up.”

She was leaning her head against the seat looking right at you. At this point you were really hoping she wouldn’t notice the slight redness that spread across your cheeks. I mean it’s still normal to blush when your friend compliments you…

As you got home you basically tried on your entire closet. You really wanted her to be impressed by your look, and didn’t even realize it had been hours. How is it possible you have quite literally nothing to wear? However in a time of crisis you dialed the first person who came to mind for fashion advice.

“Jackie! I need serious help.” You leaned against the wall, whining to her on the phone

“What’s going on?” She didn’t even need to ask who called, that kinda humbled you

“I need fashion advice! Like what the fuck do I wear for Tai to think I’m hot?” That last part must’ve just slipped out…

“What? Why would you want Tai to think you’re hot?” She asked, sounding genuinely confused

“Just forget I said that, but pleaseeeee Jackie You have to lend me something!”

“Fine, fine…I’ll give you the red dress, the one I gave Shauna some time ago”

“The boob dress?”

“That would be the one…”

“Okay, you’re the best. Love ya mwah mwah” You said, not waiting for her to say anything before hanging up

You still couldn’t shake the feeling of quite a few things. Why were you so obsessed with Taissa thinking you look good? And why were you so envious of Van, it didn’t make any sense to you. You kept thinking about these things until you fell asleep and the next day subtly rolled around. You were woken up by the doorbell at around 10am, and your mother calling you over, telling you that it’s for you.

“Jackie, hey” You said, opening the door and seeing the paper bag in her hand

“Hey, I came to drop off the dress…you look like shit, did you sleep okay?” She asked bluntly

“Gee, thanks…I slept okay I just have a lot on my mind.” Well you weren’t lying

“If you say so, here you go.” She said handing me the bag

“Thanks. Wanna come in?” You didn’t really want her to, but you did ask her to be polite

“No I have to go to back home, my mom is having people over for brunch…I’ll see you tonight.”

“Okay, bye.”

As the day slowly but agonizingly passed, you started getting ready. You did your makeup all nice, same for your hair, and were genuinely amazed by how good your boobs looked in that dress. Now you were supposed to pick up Tai.

Why were you so nervous over it

Nevertheless, you made it to her house, watching her exit her home. You jaw almost went slack on the floor because of how beautiful she looked. How was it even possible?

“Happy birthday Tai!” You squealed when she entered the car

“Thank you love” She said putting on her seatbelt and smiling at you

“ I’m so excited to get fucked up” You said as you started driving over to Lottie’s

“Yeah well not too fucked up, you know how you get” She said mockingly

“I’m not that bad at all!” You try to defend yourself

“Dude you are so lightweight.” She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world

You had a small pit in your stomach as you parked by the house. It was a gnawing feeling that something was gonna happen and ruin your mood. But for the time being you chose to ignore it and make sure Tai has fun. She played off the fake surprise perfectly, and you lot got to partying your asses off.

But that gross gut feeling turned out to be true. The more she drank the more she hung out with Van. They were all touchy and it was making you sick. Drink after drink you started losing your mind, and danced with the first person who asked you to do so. Little did you know Taissa was on the verge of tears when she saw you grinding against someone else.

You didn’t even know how you felt anymore. Everything was fuzzy and you couldn’t make out a single familiar face. That is, until you saw Natalie sitting by the bonfire with her burnout friends, deciding to go and recollect yourself there.

“Hey Nat”

“Oh, hi” She said. You could see she was high off her ass.

“You havin’ fun?” She asked

“No.” Natalie was easy to talk to, especially when you were both out of it

“Oh, what happened?” She asked nonchalantly, but you knew she did care

“I think I’m in love with my best friend.” You couldn’t believe you actually said it out loud. After all this time denying it to yourself and everyone around you, it felt a bit freeing

“Yeah no shit” She said with a small chuckle

“That obvious?”

“…Yeah” Nat said confronting you

“You should drink some water”

“So should you”

“Touchè”

___________________________________________

After sobering up a little you found yourself playing truth or dare with about 20 kids. Tai and Van were still attached at the hip, it made you wanna throw up.

“Okay, birthday girl. Truth or dare?”

You didn’t really catch who asked her

“Hmm…dare” Taissa said holding her red solo cup and taking a sip of her beer

“I dare you…to make out with your little girlfriend”

Van, they were talking about Van. Your heart flipped as you silently prayed she wouldn’t go through with it.

“Dare’s a dare” She said as she kissed her ex. You couldn’t even take it, so you ran off to your car, sitting in it and weeping for a few minutes until you heard someone come in

___________________________________________ Taissa’s POV

I kissed Van and it felt almost nauseating. She was into it, eveyone was. Kinky teenage boys screaming for us, which made it so much worse. As i finally pulled away i noticed that y/n was gone. I sat there not sure what to do. I went to the kitchen to get a drink and take my mind off of her.

“Well you successfully made her jealous” Van’s voice.

“What?” I asked, knowing full well that was what I tried to do

“Your best friend, the one who basically ran off?” Van said

“I wasn’t trying to-“ I try to defend myself

“Look Tai, her car’s still out front. Do what you gotta do” Van said and her words cut deep as a knife. I basically ran over to her, as i found her with ruined mascara and that awful, sad look in her eyes.

___________________________________________ Your POV

“Taissa?” You said as you saw her with a worried look on her face

“Listen, I was such an idiot for doing that, but I’m here now, okay?” She said completely out of breath

“Tai what are you-“

You were cut off by her lips pressing against yours. She captured you in the sweetest kiss you had ever exchanged, the perfect first one. As her arms were around your neck, your hands found her waist, pulling her flush against you

“That.”

[thebomb-thebird-andtheburntbitch]

Moonlight -x- Sunlight

ch.3 -- Demons' 101 (cw// banner has flashing txt!)

r.kyojuro/f.reader

genre: modern!au, teacher!kyojuro by day/demonslayer by night, izakayaworker!reader, slowburn?, romance, angst

warning(s): slight implications of anxiety, rengoku info-dumps about demons, Taco being Taco

w.count: 6.3k

synopsis: if someone told you that one night you’d find yourself walking down the street at three in the morning before you were running for your life away from a disjointed monster hot on your heels- you’d probably check for fever or intoxication. but, when that actually happens, all you think of is running and praying for a miracle as you stare death in the face. turns out, that miracle comes in the form of reassuring smiles and a red sword beneath a bridge and by the riverside.

-x-x-x-

a/n: hope y'all are ready bc shes back!! read the a/n pt.2 at the end for further instructions heheh (if there's still grammatical errors soz i edited this in chunks and couldn't be bothered to reread everything one more time)

-x-x-x-

You were slouched against your locker in the back room where your aprons and extra clothes are kept by the end of your shift. The izakaya had finally closed, and while it was closed earlier than usual since patrons seemed to have filed out pretty quick tonight, the way your throbbing ankle felt didn't make the early closing any better. You had willed away most of the pain, carrying on as if nothing was wrong, and kept yourself busy with micro-breaks here and there, but now that it was all said and done, well, you’ve felt better. 

You quickly took off your apron and tossed it in your locker and grabbed your purse, slinging it over your shoulder. Snatching your crutch, you placed it under your shoulder and sighed when you lifted your foot and relieved it of your weight. 

“Christ,” you mutter to yourself before you’re hobbling your way out of the locker room, through the main lobby all the way to the entrance. You shouted to whoever may be around still, be it lingering coworkers or your boss, before you slid open the door and left. With a small show of your balance, you pushed the door shut with your crutch as you stood on your one good leg before bringing the crutch back down where it needed to be. 

You sidle to the right away from the entrance, just out of reach for the hanging lamps to cast a shadow over you when you take a shaky breath. You found yourself paranoid in the early morning hours- but, you couldn’t blame yourself. The last time you were out this late after a shift, you almost died. You took a deep breath, then another… then another. You try calming yourself down, convincing yourself that what happened was a once-in-a-lifetime freak accident and there was no way you’d be unlucky enough to get caught up in something like that again. 

“It’s fine,” you tell yourself. “I’m fine,” you repeat. The palm you used to grab the handle of your crutch felt sweaty, so you took it off for a moment and furiously wiped it on your shirt before returning it.  “You’re going to be fine,” you hiss to yourself, looking down at your feet, one uninjured and the other replaced with a crutch foot. The same feet that still wouldn’t move despite your pep talk. 

Stuck in your mental battle on when you’re finally going to get your limbs to start taking you home, you completely miss the person walking up behind you until they call out to you. 

“Is your ankle in much pain?” 

You squawk, your crutch jumping out away from your leg and making your teeter before correcting yourself and using your other arm to reach across your body and grab onto the medical addition to your body in further stability. Whipping your head up, you once again come face to face with Rengoku. Still smiling, even if there’s a hint of concern in his wide eyes since he didn’t exactly mean to spook you. You also took notice of his arms that were outstretched and ready to catch you if you began careening down to the pavement.

You correct your posture and face him, feeling embarrassed for a number of reasons. 

“I’m slated to never have a normal greeting with you, am I?” You speak more to yourself than him since every time you’ve encountered him so far- not including when he was a paying customer not so long ago- has been riddled with embarrassment or fear. You’ve come face to face with him three times now, and you conducted yourself better in front of Kocho who you had met once and stripped down to your bones in front of. “What are you still doing out at this hour?” 

“I am doing a simple round of patrols for this sector of the city,” he tells you and your eyes finally drift down to see the white sheath on his hip supported by the harness he wore on his chest and over his shoulders- the same items he had when you first saw him. Seeing them again made a lump form in your throat that you tried to choke down. You felt a bit stupid for the question because what else would he be doing out this late when you’ve seen first hand what could happen. 

“Yeah, sorry,” you shake your head and scoff at yourself, “I could’ve guessed.” 

“No need to apologize!” That didn’t exactly reassure you. Rengoku was good at reading people, he spent a lot of time doing so among his years, so your unsteady and somewhat jittery presence did not fly over his head. “Are you heading home?” 

“Planning on it, yeah.” 

“It’s much earlier than last time, that is good!” 

“It was a slow night so we closed down earlier.” 

“Would you like an escort home?” 

“An escort?” Your words were short as you confirm what he’s just asked you. Part of you hates that he basically just told you that he can see your paranoia and anxiousness as clear as day. You glance away and gnaw at your lip, conflicted. You most certainly didn’t want to walk home alone, the nightmarish memories haunting you like a... well like a demon. But you also didn’t want to appear fragile because you couldn’t walk home like you had a thousand times before. 

You take a deep, shaky breath as Rengoku steps closer to you, his hair lighting up further as he gets closer to the hanging lanterns behind you. The colors and shades nearing the light resembling a warm campfire to keep woodland terrors at bay. A safe beacon.

“It is not wrong to be afraid.” 

“I'm not!” You instinctively argue back, but immediately bite your own tongue realizing that raising your voice at his kindness was most certainly rude. However, even a two year old could tell that your words were clearly a lie. You sigh again, apologizing for your outburst. “Yes, I am,” you admit more to yourself than to him.

Rengoku just smiles down at your averted eyes and moves to stand beside you before gently slipping your purse off your shoulder and slotting it up his arm to rest on his own. He outstretched his opposite arm as he caught your eyes again and gently signaled you to start moving at your own pace. 

“Allow me to walk you home then.” With him already having taken your purse and gestured his intent to not be swayed on his decision, you smirk teasing up at him and chuckle. 

“Arguing won’t get me anywhere, will it?” 

Not that you really wanted it to.

“It will not!” Well, at least he was honest. 

The walk back was relatively quiet, save for the nighttime crickets that chirped along with the toads hidden away in corners. The sounds of the cicadas had lessened from this afternoon to a dull buzz instead of mind-numbing shrills. You kept taking glances at Rengoku, your purse hanging off the shoulder closest to you as you hobbled along on your crutches. You could barely see the tip of his sword's hilt from around him without being too obvious you were even looking to begin with. He must’ve kept it as horizontal to his leg as possible to avoid catching whatever riff-raff attention could be mangling around. 

“Does something interest you?” Apparently, you weren’t as sneaky as you thought. You shoot your gaze forwards, nearly stumbling on your set of extra rubber feet and clearing your throat, the summer air suddenly way too dry for the humid season. 

“I just, well, I didn’t think you’d notice?” You tell him honestly. He chuckles at your words and you feel a little better since he doesn’t sound freaked out by your clearly awkward behavior. “I guess I was a little curious about your, what do you call it, second job? The whole,” you lift one of your crutches, stopping your movements momentarily as you whip it around and grunt (rather embarrassingly) before putting it back down, “sword job thing?” 

He laughs before letting out a small “Ah!” in recognition of your curiosity. Maybe it was because of the early hours, but part of you feared an apartment window flicking on in response to his boisterous laughter. Still, you easily admitting to yourself that it was a lovely sound. 

“Curiosity may not be the wisest decision when it is about what goes on after the sun sets. Sometimes, it’s best that people believe demon’s are nothing but fictional stories made up simply to spook children.” 

“Oh,” you were a little disappointed. You had already been attacked and injured, it’s not like you’d call him a liar if he told you. “I see.” You still wanted to know more, even if it was terrifying. With your crestfallen expression and new goal to just get home without creating an uncomfortable atmosphere, you missed the small look the flame-haired man gave you. 

“Regardless of my skills, being out so late at night can be dangerous for anyone,” he starts, eyes casting forwards once more as he continues to lead you home. “There are many kinds of demons under the moon, and some can be more ferocious than others. If one catches sight of myself or another of my…” he pauses to find a decent word. “... coworkers,” he decides on, “chances are split that they flee from us, or do the opposite and begin a confrontation if they’re feeling particularly omnipotent.” 

That small piece of information made you feel a little better about his choice to stay quiet about it all, his choice to disclose that even he wasn’t always 100% safe was bone chilling. Still, it did not soothe your curiousity completely. You decided to shake it off, you were acting like a child- it wasn’t your business and this man was nothing more than a stranger you’ve run into a couple times. The fact he literally saved your life had nothing to do with it- you had to let it go. 

It was rude to pry. 

“Perhaps when we get to your home I can answer your questions there.” You stop in your limping steps as you look at him. He was smiling at you, something warm and comforting and you seemed to light up. “That is if I would be allowed inside a young woman’s house at this hour.” 

“Of course!” Perhaps you were too loud because you immediately covered your mouth with one hand, nearly dropping one of your crutches. You look around, seeing no light flick on and no windows opening to yell for you to keep it down. You lower your hand, a small smile on your face as you clear your throat. “Of course,” you repeat, much more quietly this time. “As long as you don’t mind a temporarily handicapped host and one obnxiously sassy cat.” 

He laughs loudly again. “I happen to be fond of cats and your company as well!” 

“We’ve met twice, and one of those times I was covered in grass stains, dirt, and sweat.”

“I am a very good judge of character!” You roll your eyes, but somehow, you believe him. 

-x-x-x-

“Um, just take your shoes off at the door please.” You tell Rengoku as you sit yourself on the small stool you’ve set up by the front door so you can take your shoes off without much fuss. He easily complies, as he steps into your house only to turn and patiently wait for you to finish up. As you drop your shoes, he offers his arm as you gratefully take it and hoist yourself up with the use of the cane you keep at your door in exchange for your crutches. 

In the comfort of your own home that you could maneuver through blindfolded, you greatly preferred the short, ease of use of a cane. You kept it a secret from Kocho though, who knows if she’d scold you for the unprompted buy since she was probably the most professional and strict doctor you’ve been the patient of. 

Luckily, since Rengoku had been in your home this much before, he let you use his arm with your free hand all the way until you got into the living room. Much like how he carried you in before. You slip your palm off his forearm and step around him, much less clunky without your crutches. 

“Have a seat. I don’t have much to offer, but I do have cold bottled water I can promise hasn't been opened,” you joke as he laughs. 

“I appreciate the hospitality, however you do not need to-” 

“Ah-tata,” you cut him off, “just because my foot isn’t at peak recovery doesn’t mean I can’t get you a small bottle of water. The kitchen isn’t far anyways.” Rengoku relented. Just as it was impossible to argue with him, it seemed to go both ways. He smiled. 

He liked that. 

As you disappeared into the kitchen, a small meow and curious tap against his shin caught his attention as he stood by the couch. He smiled down at the black cat as he slid his sword out of the harness he wore and set it gently against the couch so as to not startle your pet. He knelt, offering his hand out as Taco’s little nose bumped against it, sniffing before rubbing his head against the warm knuckles of Rengoku. 

“Aren’t you cute,” he mumbles to himself. 

“Only around guests,” you add, coming back into the living room to see Rengoku loving on your cat. “He’s cute now, but he’s a big pain in my butt when he wants to be.” You offer him a cold bottle of some random brand of water you bought on sale.

“Aren’t many animals that way?” He graciously takes the plastic bottle from you, the chill of it is a welcome change in his warm palm. 

“I think it’s because I spoil him too much. He was a very unprompted rescue, so I went a little overboard raising him.” 

“There is nothing wrong with raising an animal with so much care! He seems very happy!” 

You plop yourself on the couch and Taco was quick to abandon Rengoku’s side in favor of yourself as he jumped on the cushions and stepped onto your lap where he folded his legs and lay himself down. You scratch at his back, making him stretch and roll before he’s trying to play and swipe at your hand and fingers. 

The small little tag that read ‘TACO’ in engraved letters caught Rengoku’s eye and he chuckled at the name. Indeed, that was a very happy and loved cat, he had no doubt. 

“You’re welcome to sit on the couch,” you lightly joke at his still kneeling form on your livingroom floor. He does as you suggest, thanking you before sitting a cushion away from you as to not push personal boundaries or opposingly seem too standoff-ish. It was quiet for a bit as you fiddle with your own waterbottle in your hand. “I hope I’m not causing any trouble,” you announce bashfully. 

“Pardon?” 

“Well,” you breathe, untwisting, then retwisting, just to untwist your bottle cap again to try and focus on something other than your sudden anxiety. “I just sort of dragged you here. I dunno, I feel like I’m pulling you away from your job? I know how important it is.” 

“Worry not,” he quells. “There are many others like myself who also patrol the streets when the sun sets! I am not the only one, so my company here is no trouble at all!” 

“Oh, right, you mentioned other coworkers. Are there a lot of you?” 

“There is! We’re an organization of many people, but since we’re unrecognized by the government and since people do not believe in demon’s unless they survive an encounter with one, we are very scarcely known.” You nod at him. You feel a little sad at the fact he, and others like him, were risking their safety and no one even knew. “In fact, there are even a few of my students who work along side me as well!” 

“Students?” You whip your full attention to him at mention of children. “You’re a teacher?” 

“I am!” 

“And you all just, what? Let children into your little demon-slaying job?” 

“Well, not exactly, no.” Rengoku worried he wold break into a sweat at your accusatory tone of getting children involved in clearly dangerous work. “Although it is dangerous, younger slayers are put through rigirous training and must past a very specific qualification test before they can even take to the field like I do. We of higher ranking always make sure to watch out for our young underlings. They are our future after all!” 

The idea of kids fighting those… things still didn’t sit quite right with you, but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. And if Rengoku says that they’re well taken care of, and skillful above that, then surely they weren’t in too much danger. You wanted to trust his words so you shut your eyes and willed yourself to do so.

“Plus, we are not so reckless as to just assign anything to anyone. No demon is slain by a slayer who is weaker than the task at hand. We’re very meticulous about such things.” 

“I understand.” You open your eyes and glance over at your cane for a moment then speak up again. “So, what are demons exactly?” 

“Demons are former humans who have either been killed and revived by demon blood, or made a deal with another demon for power.” 

“Former humans?” Your mind flashed back to the spindly, disfigured, skeletal demon that attacked you. “So, that thing that attacked me? That was once a person?” Rengoku nodded and a chill ran violently down your spine. 

“At some point, yes it was. However, based on its appearance, it must’ve been a demon for a very long time to change that much.” That didn’t exactly make you feel better about it. “You must understand that demons are dangerous creatures regardless of what they used to be. They will not hesitate to attack and slaughter humans. We do not kill demons for sport, it is necessary to protect future victims.” 

“I believe you and I understand- I do, it’s just… a lot to process, I guess?” You blow a harsh breath out of your lips. “So, how do you kill them? I mean with your sword I guess, but is there any other way?” 

Rengoku nodded, grabbing his sword’s scabbard and hilt before drawing it. The red blade you had gotten a glimpse of the night of the attack shone brilliantly in your well-lit living room. It was truly a beautiful blade to look at and the sword guard in the shape of flames was very fitting to its wielder. 

“To kill a demon it must be done with a very specific sword with a blade made out of a specific mineral that’s been bathed in sunlight for many years. This is a nichirin sword, a sword that has a color changing blade.” 

“So, a regular sword wouldn’t work?” 

“Correct!” He offers his sword over for you to hold and inspect it. You gently take it from him after you move Taco out of the way so that he wouldn’t start playing with it like it was a toy. “You can hack a demon into pieces with a regular blade, but it will always regenerate. A demon must be decapitated with a nichirin sword or it will continue to wreck havoc.” You hand the sword back to him and he easily sheaths it with practiced ease. “However, there are ways to defend yourself from demons, if you’d like to hear?” 

You nod, intrigued by the entirely new concept of the world you had been so oblivious to for so many years of your life. You wanted to know more, to understand more. It was captivating and if he was willing to tell, you were willing to listen. 

“There are special guns forged in our line of work that have crafted bullets that cause great harm to demons! Among other ways to deter them, demons are unable to stand wisteria.” 

“Wistera? Like the flower?” 

“Yes! Clusters of Wisteria trees are always a safe place to run to in the event one is close by. Even wisteria-scented charms and poisons are toxic and painful to their kind, they actively avoid anything to do with it. In fact, Kocho is a demon slayer, the same as I!” 

“Really?!” Rengoku laughs loudly at your shock, but after a moment it did make sense. She was specifically referred by him and knew everything about what you experienced and believed it easily. If you had stopped to think about it, it was pretty easy to assume she was involved somehow, but a fighter? That was a bit of a shock considering her stature.

“Though she does not have the strength to cut a demon’s head off its shoulders, she’s developed a technique that incorporates poisons in her duty that are lethal upon injection.”

“Wow,” you awe. She was more impressive by the day. 

“Of course, it helps that she’s also a very skilled doctor!” 

“That’s true,” you lightly giggle. There’s silence in your living room once more as you glance over at the blond haired man. “So,” you start and gain his attention, “you’re a teacher?” You already knew the answer, he answered you earlier but it was the best ice breaker you could think of.  

“That is correct.” 

“I feel like I could’ve guessed if you didn’t already tell me. You explain things well. Your students must like you.” 

“I cannot say how well I am at teaching in particular, but my student’s grades never drop to failing marks! You must keep the children interested in the lesson if you wish for them to grow. I do my best to achieve nothing less!” 

“What do you teach?” 

“History! I find it very fascinating- the past that is.” You nod. “Not to mention, I have been teaching my younger brother many things since we were young and I always enjoyed doing so. So, the profession grew on me. I very quickly knew what I wanted to do with my life during the time the sun is in the sky.” 

“A younger brother? How old is he?” 

“He’s currently in high school. Despite our age gap, we get along very well!” 

“That’s great that you both get along. I’m an only child myself, but I do have a younger cousin. He feels more like a kid brother though, so I can sort of understand. The school’s he’s attending right now has dorm buildings for it’s students, so we don’t visit much,” you reminisce as you comfortably cross your arms. 

“I’m sure you miss him.” 

“Sometimes,” you chuckle. “Then there are times I’m glad he’s not actually my brother, as horrible as that sounds.” 

“Regardless, I’m sure he feels the same!” 

Thankfully, before the conversation took a turn for the mushy, Taco started to meow at you. He had jumped onto the floor earlier after being taken off your lap and roamed before coming back to paw at your leg. You leaned down and scratched under his chin as you felt him purr. 

“I know, you need to be fed,” you tell him as you start coddling him. You excuse yourself as Rengoku got off the couch to help you to your feet before you were off to the kitchen again, Taco trotting eagerly behind you. 

In the silence of your living room alone again, Kyojuro Rengoku looked around the room at all the decorations. Some frames on the wall here, some dry plants there, a couple cat toys scattered around the floor that was no doubt Taco’s doing, and a grey cat tower was close to the main window in the room where the dark curtains were drawn for the night. Despite all that he was visually taking in, he was stuck in his thoughts.  

Kyojuro was always a people person, he enjoyed chatting and making connections, it was another reason he loved teaching so much.  Something about tonight felt different to him though. Like this one experience with this one person- you- was something out of the ordinary. LIke it was something special. 

When you came back from feeding Taco, you carried random conversation topics before an ill-timed alarm went off on his phone that had been stuffed in his pocket this whole time. The sudden sound startled you and Rengoku was quick to apologize before realizing how late it was. If he didn’t get home and get at least some sleep, tomorrow’s lesson would surely be a lackadaisical one. 

You saw him out, despite how much he insisted you not be on your feet, and before you knew it he was outside your door and then gone. 

“He’s fast,” you muttered to the air he used to occupy before shutting your door and double-checking to make sure you did in fact lock it. You looked at both sides of your front door devoid of any decorations. “Maybe I should get some tables or something to put some flowers on so the front entrance isn’t so boring.” 

With that last thought, you called for Taco because you needed to get to bed yourself. Sleep found you easily as opposed to the last few nights, and with it brought nothing but calm darkness. You were grateful for a night of sleep without nightmares.

-x-x-x-

Another week had passed and a small part of you was disappointed that you hadn’t heard or seen heads or tails of Rengoku again. He hadn’t been by the izakaya with his friend or anyone else for that matter, and you haven’t had the pleasure of running into him in the streets. Of course, the moment the feeling of disappointment nagged at you, you immediately tried to squash it down.

Despite the fact that he was A) someone who saved your life and B) a man you allowed into your home a grand total of two times didn’t erase the fact that he was still practically a stranger. A stranger who spilled his guts about his profession and gave a brief history lesson about demons in your living room, but a stranger nonetheless. 

Your foot had improved drastically since a week ago and you could now walk without dragging a crutch or cane around with you. The pain would still sometimes ebb at the joint, but you’d always try and find a place for a pitstop to rest and take any on-hand pain medication before it got too bad. 

Your current pitstop? Your local library. 

You didn’t really have any explanation why you decided to come here on your spare time, furthermore why you were nosing around in the historical section. Granted, the books you picked up weren’t full of information you didn’t already know- but you still flipped through the pages standing in the empty isle regardless completely engrossed in the material.

After your skip around history, you made sure to replace all the books from where you got them (or the best you could remember) and moved to make your way out into the open space between sections. The library attendant's desk with a single employee sitting behind it with their nose in a book to pass by the shift was within sight of the wide open space. 

The day was slowly starting to wane and you sat yourself at an unoccupied table close to a window that showed the streets that were starting the transformation of throngs of people to freckles of bodies. You push your chin into your palm as you watch out the window mindlessly. You didn’t have a shift tonight that demanded your attendance and you felt restless. It was strange, normally you’d have no issues just spending a lazy day inside on the time you didn’t have plans or work. 

Now? Now you felt like any free moment you spent inside was wasted. You felt bad about it since you were leaving Taco alone, but you promised that you’d take your beloved cat out on more walks if this new behavior keeps up. It wasn’t like he didn’t have a harness and leash for walking, it was purely because finding the right time to take him out never worked in your favor. 

You blew air out your lips as you lay your head down on the table. Maybe it was the fact that you experienced a near-death experience and were recovering from it that made you not want to take time for granted. You cringed at your cliche thinking. 

You didn’t sit at the table long, grabbing your purse and making sure you didn’t leave anything behind before you left the library entirely- it was getting close to closing hours anyways. The last thing you needed was a staff member chasing you out. 

The sky bathed the concrete jungle that was the thinning streets a warm orange as you felt the simmering of heat stick uncomfortably to your skin and under yout clothes. The walk back home felt shorter than it was and when Taco didn’t come running to the sound of the opening and closing door, you felt confusion morph your face. Was he sleeping? Normally, he would be rushing to the door before you managed to slam it shut and lock it while he cried at his once again failure to bolt out the door. 

His escape artistry isn’t as honed as other alley cats and he had a hard time accepting that if it wasn’t obvious by the fits he throws. 

Toeing your shoes off, you stepped inside and as you got closer to your living room you could hear rattling. Rattling? You speed up your steps thinking your nosey cat had gotten into or broken something and was foolishly playing with the pieces, but when you come into the living room with the waning sunlight forcing your to turn on the house lights, you gasp at what you see. 

It was Taco, your beloved cat, yes, but he hadn’t knocked anything down or broken anything that your eye could see. Instead, he was sitting on his cat tower that sat by the large window of your living room you would normally decorate for holidays pawing at the glass as a large black bird sat opposite of him behind the pane. 

The bird, you couldn’t tell what kind from your shock and slight panic-blinded eyes, was sat perfectly still on the outside of the window, knocking its beak lightly against the glass every time Taco mewled or pawed. Its head turned and cocked when it noticed the light flick on and you swore you saw its dark eyes zero in on you before its wings spread out wide spooking Taco off of his tower and onto the floor where he made a less than gracious landing. 

Its wings flapped and then folded back in before tapping two more times on the window. You swallowed the lump in your throat before you slowly treaded up to the window. The bird's beak and eyes followed you, lifting higher to keep its sight on your face the closer you got before you were standing next to Taco’s tower. The black cat himself had seemingly forgotten about the mysterious bird and instead took purchase weaving between your ankles and rubbing his fur over you, soaking in your scent of outside. 

“Are you stuck,” you lightly ask the bird as if he could answer you. Maybe he had flown into your window by mistake- that happens sometimes in tall buildings right? Birds not telling the difference between open space and glass? But, when you looked at his taloned feet there was nothing constriction him and his body was free of anything binding him too, the evidence was in the way his wings would still occasional expand then fold again. It was like he was inviting you to do something. 

Unfortunately for you, you didn’t speak bird. 

You jumped when its beak opened and a sharp, quick nose came out. A muffled caw! catching you by surprise as you nearly tripped over Taco’s still-weaving body. Then, the bird’s beak came to tap at the metal frame where the lock was. 

Did it want inside? Could you really do that? Let some random bird inside your house after it’s been sitting outside your livingroom window for god knows how long just entertaining your cat while you were gone? 

All probability flew out the proverbial window when you, without thinking, unlatched the window and slid it open allowing the big blackbird to fly right in. You screamed, not in terror, but in more shock as it flew inside and the flap of its wings was louder than you were expecting. 

The bird flew a lap around your living room before coming around to you and landing on Taco’s tower beside your shoulder. It was staring at you at eye level now and you could finally identify the bird as a crow. You knew that crows were intelligent birds, but this was clearly a trained bird, not just some random bird who decided to make a nest in your home for no good reason. 

You flinched for the umptheeth time when the crow’s left wing expanded and exposed half of it’s body. You were fully expecting it to folded up again, but it didn’t. Then you noticed it, a small crimson thread tied around it’s leg with a small dark capsule attached to it. 

You relaxed your shoulders and chuckled. 

“What are you, a messenger pigeon?” You wondered if crows could get offended by the way they can remember faces and whatnot. “That was a joke,” you followed yourself just in case. “Is that for me?” You ask hesitantly and when the crow did not move or make any indication of disagreement, you slowly and as carefully as possible unscrewed the bottom of the capsule and a small rolled-up piece of paper slid out of it. The crow softly folded its wing back up once you screwed the bottom piece back on. 

The paper was thin and rolled expertly like a scroll. You walked over to the coffee table and knelt to unfold it to read. 

My apologies for sending word to you this way! It must have been quite the shock to find a crow hanging around your home, however, I have neglected to ask of any other means of connection to you in our few encounters! If appropriate, how many I contact you from here on out? -K.Rengoku

You re-read the well-written note- scroll? -about three times before you broke down into a fit of laughter, kicking your still-healing foot into the table leg and wincing as the dull throb brought you back to your mind. 

You looked over your shoulder at the crow still perched on the tower and used your hand to pat an empty space on your table. 

“Come down here,” you invite and the crow listened well. Fluttering down easily and its talons clacking satisfyingly on your wooden table. You curled your finger, letting the back of your knuckles run over the bird's feathers careful not to accidentally pluck one. “So, you’re Rengoku’s bir-er-crow?” You corrected yourself midword thinking that just calling the crow ‘bird’ would be a bit demeaning. A soft caw was your answer. 

You looked around your coffee table but found nothing close enough to resemble a piece of paper small enough like his to send on the crows return back. Flipping the tiny-scroll over you decided to just use the back side and the nearest pen you had laying around. 

I knew you were into history, but a messenger crow? Now that’s old school. Does he have a name? 

Beside your short messaged reply, you scribbled your number down in the best handwriting you could muster so there was no way the numbers could be confused with another number. You then tried rolling it back up as expecrtly as it was put in- and failed- before you ended up folding the paper into small enough rectangles it fit inside the capsule just as well as when it was rolled up. You then pet the crow one more time before you walked back toyour window and called for it to sit on the sill. 

“You fly back home safely, okay?” The sun had declared the last lights of dusk before the sky covered your section of the world in a dark blanket and the crow’s dark eyes shimmered in earnest before it cawed once more and took off like a friendly goodbye! to its newfound friend. 

You were practically giddy the rest of the night, skipping around and giving Taco an extra treat or two in your good mood. You couldn’t remember the last time you had this feeling in your stomach, butterflies. As you lay in bed you wonder why it was you were feeling those butterflies that took you back to your high school days with flings and crushes and unrealistic romantic daydreams that would make even the most Christmas-y Hallmark movie plot to shame. 

Followed by the intriguing thought of it was all because of the still semi-stranger man named Rengoku who taught history and also happened to kill demons, the feeling of being on some pranked tv show with hidden cameras felt less and less likely the more time passed. But still- it all sounded so unreal when you thought about it all. 

The next morning, after not remembering when you even fell asleep, you checked your phone to see you had an unread text from an unknown number. You smiled at it, not even bothering to shut off the alarm clock that had woken you up as you quickly saved the number into your contacts. 

(Rengoku) His name is Kaname!

-x-x-x-

a/n pt2) DID YOU MISS ME? I know after such a long wait it's a pretty slow boring chapter, but I think the soft pacing was a good ease back into things.

I dunno where the inspo to finish this chapter even came from, but you won't see me complaining. Lemme know what you guys thought, I know it's been a while since I updated much of anything really, so the feedback is critical!!! and ofc im always up for any ideas y'all could have for the future since we all know how touch and go I am with inspiration lol

if you dont tell me anything, you're fired

[dilxcc]

:: meeting you. diluc ragnvindr

contains. fem!reader, fluff and then angst, kinda slowburn, character death.

summary. meeting you had been the greatest gift the universe had given. but meeting you also had been his greatest misery. and as the saying goes, right person, wrong timing . . .

requested. none.

notes. i just had to write more angst to be honest. you cant stop me. im in my angst era 🤭 (this was actually supposed to be a break up fic but i hate hurting my fav characters)

it had to be a dream. all of this had to be a dream. it was too good to be real. how can someone, a human being, looks so angelic in his eyes?

how can you, a normal girl, lightened up his world in mere seconds. the darkness that veiled his every day routine slowly disperse when you walk into his life. you changed everything for him.

“master diluc,” you greeted him with a warm smile. something about it tugs at his heart strings. “yes?” he answered, voice coming out in a gentler tone than he ever had given to any other people. “is there anything that troubles you?” he asked again, his smile matching yours as second goes by.

you fidget on your feet nervously. “well, you see... i want to ask you out. today,” you said shyly, eyes not meeting him but looking at the suddenly intriguing patch of dirt that you’re standing on.

your straightforwardness stunned him. his eyes widened as his blood rushed to his face slowly but surely. “i see...”

his dry response made your heart dropped to the bottom pit of your stomach. “i-it’s fine if you-” before you could finish your sentence, his hand lays atop yours, stopping you mid sentence. “i would love to,” your eyes met his and you smiled so wide that your cheeks hurt.

.

“is miss y/n not home today?” diluc asked donna who happened to be your neighbor. “oh, master diluc!” she jumped lightly in surprise. “she looked unwell today. i figure that she went to the clinic,” donna said. the red-haired male slouched a little, feeling disappointed that he couldn’t see you and the fact that you weren’t feeling well.

“thank you for telling me,” he gave her a kind smile in return. donna sighed to herself. “poor miss y/n... she is always sick...” the girl muttered to herself. but it did not go unnoticed by diluc. the newly added information makes his heart to grow heavier.

perhaps he should pay you a visit the next day.

.

the next day, diluc find himself standing in front of your house at dawn. the sun has peeked little by little at the roof of every building.

his fist were wrapped in a ball, holding it up mere inches by your door and has yet to knock it. something was holding him back. but he wasn’t sure what it was.

before he could find the courage to knock at your door, the universe finally helped him by having you to open the door instead. “oh, master diluc,” you gasped lightly, a wobbly smile present on your face.

“miss y/n,”

he seems to be out of breath everytime he looks at you. it was as if your beauty had captured him for the first time again. “whatever business do you have with me this early in the morning?” you asked.

he offers a small smile. “i heard that you were unwell yesterday,” he started. your smile faltered. “ah... yes. that is true... i haven’t been feeling well lately. so i apologize that we haven’t been able to meet up for the past few days,”

diluc only shook his head. “no, that was not the reason why i’m here,” he pulled out a bouquet of flowers from behind his back. “i wanted to give you these. maybe it would look good by your window for you stare whenever you’re in bed, resting,”

“oh, you shouldn’t have-”

“but i wanted to,” he smiled. he pushed the bouquet on your hands lightly and you took it. “i hope you feel better soon. i want to take you out again,”

your face flushed a little even though your heart gave you a sharp pained tug. how are you ever going to tell him about your sickness?

.

“master diluc!” you squealed and chuckled when he hugged you from behind. “and here i thought that we had went pass beyond that point,” he chuckled.

“it’s... a little bit foreign for me to do so,” you replied bashfully. “but y/n, my dear... you’ve convinced me to call you by your name. it is only fair you return me the favor,” diluc said, nuzzling into your neck. “we are lovers now. it would be more foreign for you to address to me as master in our relationship,” he chuckled.

“then maybe i should call you by something else,” you smiled, putting your hands on top of his that were wrapped snuggly around your waist. “what do you have in mind?” he asked, his chin now resting on your shoulder while he tilted his head ever so slightly to look at your face.

“how about... strawberry man?” you asked, trying to mantain your serious expression before bursting out laughing. his light chuckle tickled your ear before you looked at him straight in the eyes. “i was only jesting, my love,”

he smiled happily.

.

today had been an amazing day. the only depressing thing was is that you didn’t get to enjoy it. diluc had asked you to moved in with him just a couple months after you guys officially became a lover.

now, you are laying in his- no, your shared bed, feeling deeply weakened by your illness. you had heard from adelinde that she called diluc to come home as soon as he could as you suddenly fell sick.

a knock at the door grabbed your attention from all the swirling thoughts swimming inside your head. the door opened slightly, a certain red head peeked in. “my love?” he slowly made his way and sat by the bedside. he immediately held your hand in both of his. “are you feeling okay?” he asked, eyes full of concern.

“i am fine now that you are here,” you said softly, hand squeezing his. his brows knitted, clearly not believing a word you say. “but my dear, you have fallen sick frequently these days,” he insisted. “are you sure that you really won’t be needing a doctor?” he asked softly now.

to outsider, they may have seen their master diluc to be cold and aloof. but whenever it was just the two of you, his walls shattered and was placed by his overwhelmingly tenderness, care and love. maybe if anyone were to witness the current scene, they would have thought that diluc carries no weight in caring about you.

his expression, it carries great worry for you. “and i am telling you that i’m fine. i just get sick easily ever since i was an infant,” you chuckled. “you’ve never told me what kind of illness you have,” diluc suddenly said. “i am not a fool, my dear,”

“i never take you as a fool, my love,” you started to sit up. “what you have is definitely not fever. your body temperature has always been normal,” he continued. “and you’ve been getting thinner and weaker too...” his eyes met yours. you were taken aback by his glossy eyes that were now misty with tears. you used your free hand to caress his cheek, wiping away his unshed tears. “it is nothing... i assure you,”

it was not nothing. you don’t know how much longer you will be hanging by the thread of life. one thing you were sure of is that it won’t be too long.

whether it be days, weeks, months or years, you don’t know anymore. everything had been a blur to you these days. the life in you were slowly fading away in nothingness. and diluc, your lover had finally noticed. you wouldn’t want him to be dreading for the moment you would finally leave him.

you wouldn’t want to burden his heart with worry anymore. only you should carry this heavy burden of dreading the time you would be gone.

.

“why, master diluc, but you seem very happy today,” the cavalry captain asked, alcohol in hand. “that is none of your business,” diluc replied while wiping dry the glasses. “why, of course! he is going to propose to your future sister-in-law!” the bard suddenly stepped in, face already flushed red after his hundredth drink. “oh?” kaeya inquired in interest. diluc’s lack of response only confirmed his suspicion.

“so my dear brother is finally getting married,” kaeya sighed happily. “mind your own business, captain,” diluc said blankly, continuing to wipe the glasses.

his thoughts were quickly filled with multiple scenarios of what your reaction would be. would you be happy? surprise? or maybe sad? he doesn’t know. but everything just makes his nerves flaring to the top notch.

.

diluc walked back home in a hasty pace, his heart beating fast because of the excitement he would be sharing with you soon. perhaps, this wouls even make you feel a whole lot better. diluc chuckled to himself at the thought.

soon, his footsteps slowed down as the dawn winery came into view. he suddenly stopped walking, hesitating the idea of actually proposing to you. maybe this was a bad idea? maybe he shouldn’t make haste to marry you so fast. but the two of you have known each other for years. maybe it’s not too fast, after all?

“master diluc!” adelinde called out, running from towards diluc. her forehead were glistened in sweat. “adelinde, what is it that’s so important you must get me all this way out,” diluc asked, a horrible feeling settling in his stomach. “miss y/n...” she said, her voice trembling as to hold her tears in.

he quickly broke into a sprint, making his way through the winery and finally, your shared bedroom. his hand rest on the doorknob, not wanting to face the reality that he’s been ignoring. slowly, he twist it open, taking his footsteps hesitantly as he sees a doctor gathering his tools.

“master diluc...” he started, his eyes casting downward before he shook his head. diluc couldn’t believe what the doctor was implying. surely he was wrong. perhaps this was a cruel that you’re pulling on him.

he sat down on the bedside, sliding his hand into yours and squeezing it slightly. he was hoping that you would reciprocate the gesture. but you didn’t. your hand was already cold.

“my love... i am home now. please, open your eyes for me, dear,” he shuddered a breath. diluc continued to squeeze your hand, hoping that you were just asleep and have not wake up. but still, you remain unmoving, eyes close, face looking pale and your skin grew colder.

he breath in shakily, closing his eyes tightly before reaching into his pocket for the ring that he was to propose you to. he slides the ring on your finger, a tear falling down his cheek. “it fits you perfectly. like a glove. like the way you fit my heart perfectly,”

[houseofthescrolls]

Midnight Rain

Daemon Targaryen x Reyna Targaryen (OC)

You were my midnight rain

Angst - Slowburn - Fluff

Pt 1 / Pt 2 / Pt 3

I expected many things to happen this morning such as having breakfast, reading letters sent from my kingdom’s advisor Talia, and having tea with Alicent.

What I did not expect was to be standing in front of my son who sat in a chair, blood running heavily down his nose. I tilted his head back gently as I pressed a cloth to it.

“Everyone, get out.” I demanded the guards and physician who stood nervously about the room.

They scattered like mice at my tone and no sooner did the door close, I turned my attention back to my son.

“Explain. Now.” I demanded him wondering who I needed to hunt down.

“I was training with Aemond and Lucerys when the both of them got into an argument. They started fighting and when I stepped in to stop them, I was hit.” He flinched at the small bit of pressure I applied.

“I’m sorry.” I caressed his head with my free hand, “I am proud that you tried to dismantle the situation, but it was still very dangerous of you to do so. What if they had a knife? Who knows what those boys are capable of.” My brows furrowed at the thought.

“I know and I am sorry mother.” He glanced away, “They did stop fighting immediately after they realized what they did and apologized.”

“At least they have some mind to own up to their mistake.” I huffed.

“Daemon…” His voice trailed off unsure if he should keep this tidbit of information to himself.

I tensed up at the sound of his name, “What about him?” I asked.

“He helped me after…” Viserys waved his hand towards his nose, “Ripped a piece of his shirt to help stop the bleeding. He walked me here.”

“That is…” Kind of him. Was what I wanted to say, but cleared my throat, “Did he say anything to you?”

Viserys shrugged, “He asked about my father. I told him I didn’t know much. He also said that my fighting style reminded me of his own.” Viserys clenched his fist, “I wanted to tell him then. In that moment I wanted to yell or fight, I don’t know.” He sighed, “I didn’t.”

I placed my hand gently on his cheek, “You did well. I know that this must be difficult for you, love I know and it tears at my heart. The rogue prince is an ass, but he is smarter than he lets on.” I took a calming breath, “I asked you before we came here if you wanted him to know who you are. Have you-”

“No.” He went to shake his head, but I held him steady, “I still hate him.” He announced, “Never will I chose him over you. You are my mother.”

Tears filled my eyes as I let out a shaky break, “And you are my son.” I laughed lightly, “Look at me, I’m getting all emotional now.”

“You’re emotional for the both of us.” He joked.

After some comfortable silence he spoke up again. I could tell he was worried when I looked at the damage of his nose again now that the blood was cleaned up.

“Is it broken?” He wondered.

I shook my head, “No, the gods were kind to you. Your nose remains as beautiful as the day you were born.” I smiled pulling the cloth away and putting it in a dish filled with red tinted water.

His nose was swollen and bruised naturally, but it looked better than the constant flow of blood. If this was more than a bloody nose, those boys would feel the wrath of a mother.

Viserys rolled his eyes with a huff, “Stop coddling me mother. I am not a child anymore.”

I pressed a kiss to his forehead, “You will always be my child.” I pulled away to see a smile on his face, “Now come, you will be spending the day with your grandmother and I.”

“I don’t think I would count Alicent as my grandmother, she’s as old as you.” He muttered, but stood up nonetheless.

“Hey,” I lightly scolded him, “I’m not that old. Now let’s go before I change my mind and have a word with those two.”

“I’ll be miserable sitting there.” His pleading anything eyes shimmered as he begged not to go, “I promise I’ll be fine on my own mother. This wasn’t even a big deal after all.”

I sighed, “Oh alright. Just be careful and if I so much as hear that you are in trouble… I’ll be there alongside Solaris and you know she will set the entire kingdom ablaze to keep you safe.”

He chuckled, “I know mom, I will see you later at supper.”

I swiftly walked down the hall, not wanting to miss out on our first afternoon tea in years. It was the one time of day we could tear down our walls and be ourselves. Plus, I knew without a doubt that she would know all of the secrets and whispers running through the castle.

“I’m sorry I’m late Alicent, you wouldn’t believe what our boys have been up too. I also told him you were technically his grandmother. I know you hate it, but it’s still funny.” I giggled shutting the door.

When I didn’t hear a reply, I turned around to find the lack of curly red hair in her usual seat and instead platinum white that reveled the moon in the night sky.

“Oh…” I said surprised before straightening up to give him a neutral expression, “It’s you.”

His gaze was surprisingly kind as a soft smile grazed his face, “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you like this.”

I didn’t greet him in kind. Instead I crossed my arms with a pointed look in his direction, “What are you doing here?”

His smile morphed into his usual smirk as he raised an eyebrow, “Is that anyway to talk to your uncle?”

I scoffed, “It is. Now get out.” I motioned towards the door, “I’m waiting for my friend.”

It was his turn to scoff, “You mean Alicu-“

I cute him off, “Call her anything but her name and I’ll gut you for the pigs.”

He smirk returned, “There’s my girl.” The warmth in his voice left me feeling how I did all those years ago.

I shook the feeling away as quickly as it came, “Enough games uncle. Why are you here?”

“The Queen had an important meeting to tend to. I offered to pass this message along.” He took a step towards me, “Does that suffice?”

“Why would you offer to do that?” My brows furrowed and I stepped towards him, “And why would you help my son? I am grateful that you did, do not get me wrong, but you never help anyone aside from yourself. So tell me what you are up too.”

“Isn’t it obvious, my little flame?” He took a step closer.

I matched his with a step back, “Do not call me that.”

Another step forward.

“I would call you nothing, but what you are.” He muttered.

Another step back.

“You have no right.” I held back the shakiness in my voice, “Not anymore.”

Another step toward. He was close enough that I could feel his breath on my face.

“I have every right because you are mine.” He whispered as he gently lifted my chin up.

I glared, the sting of oncoming tears burning my eyes, “I will never be yours again.” I pushed against his chest and he took a step back, “You made that very clear.”

“Wait-” He reached his hand out towards me , but held himself back.

I made a beeline towards the doors, “Don’t talk to me, stop with whatever scheme you have in that thick skull of yours and heed my words. I don’t need nor want you. All I want is peace for the rest of my stay here, preferably as far away from you. Good day, uncle.” I seethed as I grabbed the door handle.

“I know.” He stated causing me to stop in my mission to get as far away from him as possible.

I sighed heavily already done with his antics. I don’t understand what game he was trying to play or why he wants me when he’s left me alone for almost fifteen years.

“Know what?” I turned to him with a dramatic wave of my hands, “That you are the biggest man child in this kingdom? No, scratch that, in the entire world! From here to beyond the seas and every piece of land and sky to ever exist!”

“I know the blood of a dragon when I see one.” He spat.

My blood ran cold. He couldn’t possibly… No. remain calm and don’t let anything slip.

I hid my uncertainty with a scoff, “And your intelligence is far from superb as well.” I rolled my eyes as I turned to flee.

“You, my little flame are the only person in this worlds who can insult me this much without me removing your head from your body.” He was too quick for me to escape the grip of his hand on my arm, facing me towards him.

I shrunk away from his intimidating gaze as he leaned down to my ear, “But you know very well that I am not stupid.” He seethed, “The boy is mine.”

I used my queen voice as I spoke, “I don’t know what could possibly make you think such a thing.”

He large hand easily cupped the side of my face making sure that I was looking directly into his gaze.

“Do not lie to me.” He spoke lowly.

I rolled my eyes, “I am not-”

Technically it was truth.

“I know you are lying!” He cut me off quickly, “He is my son then he belongs under my house!”

I blinked slowly at the audacity of his tone, “Do not raise your voice with me.”

His temper died down slowly as he regained his composure, “I know he is mine. You wouldn’t sleep with anyone else.”

I quickly pulled away from his grip, “Wouldn’t sleep with anyone else?” I scoff, “You think I would still be fawning over you after all these years? That I would wait day and night for you to grace me with your presence? After what you did to me?”

“Yes.” He shook his head, “No… I…” He was once again left speechless by the woman who consumes his thoughts, “We are meant to be consumed by each other. Tell me the boy is my son and you both will stay by my side forever.”

I ignored his words just like the burning in my eyes. He was right, I haven’t slept with anyone else… Not because I was waiting, but I’ve been too busy with regaining a kingdom of my own and raising my son. Would I ever tell him that? Never. My trust for him was burned since that day.

“Have you heard the news my princess?” My handmaiden Lyra asked.

I turned to the girl confused, this stopping her from finishing the braids in my hair.

“What news might that be?” I asked with a soft smile.

“It appears that something big has happened back in the kingdom.” She said softly and I could tell she was unsure of how to proceed.

“Really?” I wondered, “Surely my family would have written to me by now. It has only been a few years since I’ve stepped foot in my father’s kingdom, but my uncle was here only a week ago. Surely he would have said something.”

“I am unsure of why your family has not informed you yet.” She stated a nervous tone settling in her voice.

“Is it about my sister’s courting season? Alicent wrote to me about the possible prospects for Rhaenyra… I would like to visit her as soon as these dignitary meetings are over to help her through it. Except the southeast of Westeros is anything, but sound.” I sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. My gaze focused on the necklace from Daemon resting around my neck and my heart swelled, “At least my prince won the battle of Stepstones, I’m beyond proud of him.”

Lyra combed back another piece of my hair to braid, “I know my princess.”

And she did in fact know… About everything that went on between Daemon and I. She was my most trusted handmaiden after all. Daemon was the one to invite me to come along with him and of course I would bring her along. She was one of the few who approved of our love even if she was a bit skeptical about the prince.

Though my prince and I have been more than content with our little piece of the world. We were happy together. Truly, blissfully, and utterly happy.

“I count the days until we are wed…” I muttered as I twirled the jewelry in my hand, “Seven children he begs me for.” I laughed at the memory, “I do not know how I will manage.”

It has been quite a time of secretly pining for each other and now he was within reach. All he needed was his brother’s blessing.

“Even so, I hope that it is soon.” I continued, “I pray to the gods that he will return to me with my fathers blessing. When my prince hands over this territory then surely my father will agree. Then we can finally start a family of our own.”

I felt her hands stop moving my hair. It felt too long of a pause to be normal.

“Lyra? Is everything alright?” I asked with deep concern.

“My princess, there is something you must know…” Her voice trailed off.

I looked at her through the mirror, “You know that you can tell me anything. What is it?”

“The prince was seen in a pleasure house this week with someone.” She bowed her head.

I felt as if I had lost a battle, on my knees as a sword plunged through my chest. The darksister twisting my bones and bleeding me dry as Daemon towered above me.

He wouldn’t… Would he? Uncertainty settled in the pits of my stomach. A feeling of guilt washing over me because a part of me believed it to be true.

“With…” I cleared my throat to keep it from breaking, “Who?”

“He was with your sister.” She answered, “There has been rumors about the two of them, that they had…”

I shook my head in denial stopping her from continuing, “No… It couldn’t be true, they wouldn’t do that. This must be a mistake, a silly rumor.” I smiled lightly trying to think posisitive, “He will be back and he will confirm that it was all just petty gossip.”

“Of course, my princess.” Lyra spoke and continued on with braiding.

But it wasn’t small gossip that would flee from everyone’s minds within a week. No… That gossip grew louder and louder until it was a wave swallowing me whole. Alicent confirmed my worst fears through her letter, a letter I chuckled into a fire after reading as I screamed to our once shared bedroom.

Lyra entered my bedroom chambers where I looked anything, but presentable. I looked up at her from where I sat on my bed in the rumpled sheets. My nose was red and my eyes watery yet that slight sliver of hope kept me from drowning.

“Have you…” I coughed trying to clear my throat once again, “Have you heard any news? Has he finally come back?”

A month I have been waiting to see those silvery locks once more, dreaming every night that he was here with me. He hasn’t written or come to offer me any answers. His presence here was only, but a ghost. A faded memory of someone who held much power over my heart.

Lyra shook her head sadly, “I am afraid the prince will not be returning. The prince has taken a bride… I am truly sorry to be the one to burden you with this news, but he has wed another woman. It is your cousin Laena, my princess.”

I nodded wordlessly. The sharp pain in my hand brought my gaze down where I realized that I had been digging my nails into the palm of my hands.

She bowed her head, “The people are also talking… Rumors spread of the kindling you had with the prince my lady.”

I took a deep breath before speaking, “They are moths drawn to a flame. Please tell my guards and anyone who wishes to join me that I will be leaving the stepstones by the end of the week. If you wish, you may return to my father’s kingdom. I will not be cross if you do not want to join me.”

“I will stay with you and your heir until the end, my princess.” She stated sincerely.

“Thank you Lyra.” I smiled grimly looking down at the bump forming on my stomach.

“My lady… Where will we go?” She asked.

“A place that we can make a change…” I placed my hand over my stomach, “A place where we can start anew.”

She nodded in understanding, “I will see to that everything is prepared for our departure.”

“Thank you my friend. That will be all, Goodnight Lyra.” I bidded her Goodnight.

“Goodnight Princess.” She said as she shut the door.

It was then that I finally let the waves pull me down.

“No one will harm you.” I whispered to my unborn child, “I promise.”

I will be strong on my own.

The memory consumed me in feelings of despair and defeat, but most of all anger.

“I was already hated in the eyes of the court and the people for my lack of dragon blood.” I stated my mind coming back to the present.

I looked him dead in the eyes, “You knew this and yet you still perused me and then you left me for my sister.” My eyes slanted into a heavy glare, “They mocked me… Shunned me. I was a laughing stock. The little girl who weaseled her way into the Royal court and seduced her step-uncle only to be tossed aside because I wasn’t good enough.” I stepped towards him in rage and he knew his only option was to step back, “My name was tainted because of you. Unfit to marry they said, not pure they whispered. I was casted out and what did you do? Nothing. You left me on the stepstones to rot.”

I let him soak in those words. His hurt gaze looking at me.

It was only when I saw regret fill his eyes that I finally said, “His father is dead and he was a far better man than you are now. He is not yours. He never will be.” I spat at him and slammed the door shut behind me as I left.

The crashing sounds that occurred shortly after behind those heavy doors only fueled my anxiety and anger as I rushed down the hall.

Never… never… never… For as long as I live and breathe he will never be his. My child is my own and my own alone.

I screamed as I enter my bedroom, hot tears stinging my face.

“This was a horrible idea!” I yelled throwing the nearest thing, a vase towards a wall.

I paced the room in growing anger, “He won’t take my son away from me, he can’t! He has no proof, no claim, only a theory.” I said, trying to calm myself.

I sat on my bed with a heavy sigh, “He has no proof… No proof.” I whispered.

I looked to the balcony out to the clouds that are calling me home.

“Just a few more days.” I fell back onto the silk sheets made of red.

“Queen Reyna.” A knock alerted me to a maid standing behind my closed doors.

I sat up and made myself more presentable.

I cleared my throat, “Yes?”

“Is everything alright? I heard noises.”

“Of course!” I called out to her, “I knocked over something on my desk, no need to worry!”

“Alright. I’d like to inform you that the king requests your presence.” She stated.

“Of course!” I answered, “Thank you. Inform my father that I will be there in just a moment.”

“Yes, your highness.” She took my answer in kind and I could hear her footsteps leave.

“Great.” I muttered as I straightened myself up, “How do I explain to my father that I wish to murder his brother?”

I stood in front of my mirror, checking to make sure that I was the proper form of a queen.

“You will not fear the dragon’s den.” I stated before I left my room.

Stay tuned!

Tag list

@shipheart @this-is-a-bad-idea @dragon-in-a-kettle @hadthemapplebottomjeans @danielle-leah1997 @animelover18 @hc-geralt-23 @moni-cah @stargaryenx @wisdomofthebrain @beggarsnotchoosey @jcpenneyyy @sunmoon-01 @green-lxght @jackierose902109

[heeracha]

ep 49. / ep 50. — the one where everything's okay. / ep 51.

end of the line. — p. jongseong

synopsis: thinking it was a hotline for people who just need someone to talk to, jay calls. but why did a clueless student answer? with jay’s phone call has a time limit, you, the clueless student, insists on staying with him until the end of the line.

pairing: jay x f!reader

content/genre: college au (wow shocking), slowburn, fluff, angst and crack, smau.

warning(s): friends teasing friends, yk affectionate teasing, swearing, tell me if i missed something !! ,,,,, kissing :*

note: here's the playlist <3 two more parts and we're done AHFSBDHFSBA i'll cry on the last chap <3 HAHSDHFAHKA

it was the weekend, thank god

you were basically free to do anything since you finished your tasks… in hopes to forget about jay. failed horribly, may i add. but that’s fine, right? it’s jay, anyway.

like he said the previous night, he will call. you two decided to meet up for real this time and to avoid any confusion, jay decided he will wait for you in your dorm’s lobby. so, there he was, sitting on the couch, looking back at you. you go to him and he stands up, looking at you and you force a smile which he returns.

wordlessly, you two went around to walk around and even eat—which he didn’t let you pay. 

now, it’s nearing night and you two are just in an empty park sitting on a bench. you knew jay was waiting for you to speak up, but you didn’t know how to start off. after probably thirty minutes, you decided to do something. so you turn to him and he looks at you, turning to you as well. you wrap your arms around his waist, resting your nose against his cheek and closing your eyes. jay wraps his arms around you, one hand on the back of your head.

“i’m sorry,” he mumbles and you shake your head.

“i understand—”

“but it doesn’t make it right,” jay says. “i should have told you right away, i’m really sorry.”

“i forgave you a long time ago, it’s okay.” you softly say and jay chuckles. “i’m sorry for confusing you with first and fourth.”

jay laughs and you tighten your hug on him. “we’re okay?” he asks and you nod.

“of course,” you say.

“i’m sorry for rejecting you, too.” jay says. “i’m sorry for everything.”

“we’re okay, jongseong. we’re okay.” you assure him and he smiles, kissing your cheek. “i’m sorry for taking so long, though. how did you manage to wait for a long time?”

jay shakes his head. “because i know you’re worth it.” he says and you smile. “you will always be worth it, my love.” you softly hit him on the shoulder and he laughs. “ow!”

“i told myself earlier i wouldn’t cry anymore because we’ll be okay.” you softly say, voice lightly breaking. jay pulls away, placing his hands on the curves of your neck.

“cry all you want,” he softly says. “i promise, i will always be here to kiss your tears away, okay?”

you smile and jay leans in, kissing the tears that fell. “i really thought our talk is going to be long, but i remembered i already gave you a letter explaining it.” he says and you hum.

“i read it every night.” you mumble. “i just miss you so much. i can’t believe we lost those months.”

“i believe it will make us stronger.” jay says and you smile. “that is if… i’m still your cute guy?”

you chuckle, taking his hand and kissing his knuckles. “you will always be my cute guy.” you softly say and jay smiles. “there was always something about you. i admit, i didn’t catch feelings right away when i first saw you, but i always gravitated towards you. whenever you came up to me just to smile, i never thought you were weird. all i know is i wanted to see that smile everyday.”

jay chuckles. “i really thought you found it weird,” he softly says.

“hey,” you say and he hums. “you’re better than you think you are, jongseong.”

he smiles.

“i didn’t catch feelings right away either,” he admits. “i just know that you’ll have me wrapped around your fingers someday, and i wasn’t wrong. i love how you don’t have a filter. i love how you don’t care about what others say. i love how you know how to console me when i feel at my lowest. i love you, y/n. even after the line ends, i will always be with you.”

then, you did what you think is right.

you cup his cheeks and press your lips against his. jay holds on your wrists, softly kissing you back. after a few beats, you pull away and rest your forehead against his as he closes his eyes, replying to the moment in his head.

“could you give me a warning next time?” jay asks.

“why? was it awful?” you ask.

“no,” he says. “i just need to ready myself because i can’t believe i’m actually with you now. it’s not a delusion anymore.”

you laugh, kissing him again and he smiles, kissing back. you pull away, kissing his scar on his nose causing him to smile even wider. “so,” you softly say, your thumb wiping his lips to remove your lipstick stain. “how have you been?”

“better now.” he answers. “i actually realized that i can go through anything as long as i have you by my side. when we didn’t talk, it was the shittiest.”

“you know what?” you ask and he hums. “me, too. i’m just glad, we’re okay now. i know that we will surely get through anything.”

jay smiles, nodding as he agrees. “come on,” he says, standing up as he gently holds your hand.

“where we going?” you ask.

“grocery,” he answers, smiling at you. “buy ingredients for cream puffs.”

you squeal. “okay, let’s go!” you exclaim, standing up and jay laughs, pulling your hand up to his lips as he presses a soft kiss on your hand.

everything’s okay.

[vivisandg]

Hear me out, slowburn that ends in hardcore fluff for Johanna Mason x fem! reader…? Johanna deserves a happy ending!!! 😭

YES YES YES MY FIRST REQUEST

This is definitely not what I was expecting but I am TOTALLY DOWN to write this! Most likely gonna be a short one but I’m gonna try. Feel free to criticize or comment on my work and to request more.

WARNINGS: fem!reader: (y/n), BISEXUAL BC WHY NOT??!, blood(I think), little angst if squinting, swearing(ish)

I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION FOR MY WORK TO BE COPY AND PASTED TO OTHER WEBSITES (revolving is fine as long as I am given credit for my work).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

//set in Catching Fire during the Monkey scene but w/o others//

Great. Another mutt that I have to deal with. These ones were different, kind of like monkeys but bigger. As I watch my last ally die by being clawed in the throat, I begin to, for the first time in a while, feel fear. I hate fear. It’s like a pitch black box that I’m trapped in, unable to escape from. I’m already running to the beach when I hear a scream: “(Y/N)” I know that scream… it’s Johanna’s.

//time skip to when Johanna’s in the hospital post-capitol//

I have to see her. If the rumors are true, if they were all saved from the Capitol, I need to see Johanna Mason. That’s the only coherent thought in my brain at the moment. Life is bleak and dismal in District 13; sleep, bomb, wake up and eat, bomb, get to work, bomb. The Capitol is bombing us every four hours, or so it feels like that. I’ve lost and sense of reason behind keeping track of time here, it’s all the same.

“(Y/n)!” I hear Finnick say my name as he runs over, breathless. Any girl would find this sexy, maybe some guys, as well. However I tend to focus more on women than men, they disgust me…most of the time. “What’s going on, Finnick?” I trust Finnick enough to ask this because he understands how I feel right now. He lost his love, Annie, to the Capitol and I have lost mine to them as well. Finnick is one of the few people who knows about me and Johanna, I like to keep that sort of stuff to myself. “It’s true, they’re back! They’re back from the Capitol!” Finnick says as I feel the gears in my head starting to work. God, it’s been so long since I’ve thought about anything other than Johanna, that I start to feel a bit lightheaded. Finnick steps close and holds me as he can see that I’m starting to sway. My love is home, or as home as this can get.

He and I start to run towards the hospital, and I kick the door open. Immediately, as if we were each glowing neon, we lock eyes and can’t look away. Johanna tried to get out of bed, but I run to her and gently push her back down. “You need to rest, Love.” I say as I’m barely holding back tears. “I’ve missed you so much, (Y/n/n).” I let the tears fall as she says this, I hug her and hold her close to me.

I don’t know what he’ll she’s been through, or what he’ll we’ll go through in the future. But I WILL be with her holding her hand or hugging or kissing her as we go through together. Because it’s what Johanna deserves, and I’m willing to give it to her, but now I will sit with her head on my chest as we both lay on her hospital bed and sleep together for the first time in forever.

I know that this is short, but I really did like this request. I think that Johanna DEFINITELY deserved better and I will think that u til the day I die. Feel free to request, comment, or criticize.

Thank you❤️

[aehyei]

𝗬𝗨 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗚

from the collection of ↳ ❝ [ crazy and crazier] ¡! ❞

One minute you’re a normal college teen student, enjoying your life, and the next is that you’re suddenly the only one who could control the fate of your family’s lifetime business. While badly ill, your dad couldn’t be able to handle the failing company, your mom not being strong enough to handle it, and so you’re the only one left on the list. But you weren’t prepared for the pressure your going to have to experience. To add to that, now you suddenly have to marry the Qian’s only son to save the company. Thank god for Hendery and Yangyang though, they really helped you get through this new mess in your life.

PAIRING : artist!liu yangyang x heir!reader

GENRE : fluff, angst, strangers-to-lovers, a little crack, runaway!au, heir!au

WC : 10.02k

WARNINGS : slowburn, cuss words, bad descriptions of a company’s bankruptcy, medical stuff, mentions of stroke, stress, pressure, forced marriage, betrayal, plot twist, poisoning 

TAG LIST : @annikae @inupinggu​ @ahtisa02 @severefireangelprune @mastergibbs93 @ukiyokan @changminurheart​ @terjeno​ + fill out this form to be added on my general tag list.

AUTHOR’S NOTES : it’s yangyang’s turn to shine!!! i had this in my drafts ever since 2021...and..like...yey i’m finally able to release it

“HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE THE ONLY HEIR OF YOUR FATHER’S COMPANY?”

“Ms. Yu, please look here!”

“Can you really save the company from downfall?”

Reporters crowded you, cameras flashed everywhere, everyone was eager for your answers. But the only problem was that even you didn’t know what to do. It’s all a blur, everything’s happening too fast. The doctor diagnosed your father with stroke, and the next thing you know, eveyone’s pressuring the shit out of you.

The stakeholders panicking and rushing you to learn on how to control a whole big ass company in case something bad happens, your mother crying to her heart’s content about her husband’s condition, and of course, the Yu company starting to have a downfall.

With all that’s happening, you’re all that everyone’s relying on.

“Ms. Yu will not answer questions for now.” Your secretary, Hendery continues to protect you behind him as he smiles apologetically and bows politely at the reporters.

You felt like a weak child behind him, avoiding eye contact with everyone else. It’s clear that you know nothing—absolutely nothing—on how to run a business that’s slowly bankrupting, let alone a whole company. But your going to have too. And to be frank, you didn’t have much of a choice either.

“Are you alright back back there, Ms. Yu? Would you like me to shoo them all away?” Your secretary showed pity, knowing how huge the mess of this situation is to you. “No, yeah, I think I’m fine. I mean, what’s the worse that could happen, right? Dad’s dying, my mom’s barely alive either, I’m just 19 and is expected to run our family’s company. Nothing’s wrong. Yep, everything’s under control.”

It was clear you were trying to comfort yourself with your words, but it looked more as if you were mocking yourself further. “You don’t have too, you know.” Hendery’s eyes softened, voice as gentle as he could muster. “Mhmm,” you hummed, not trusting your voice to reply.

Oh.

So it could get worse.

“Y/n, we need to up our sales!”

“No! Don’t listen to him, we have to pay what we owe first you idiot!”

You massaged your forehead, listening to the debate of all the stakeholders in front of you. Everything’s a mess. Your life is a mess, the company is a mess, this meeting is a mess.

“Make a decision now Ms. Yu!”

“Listen to us, we know better then those pesky scheming guys. They just want the money to themselves!”

“Look who’s talking! Everyone knows that your the corrupt one.”

“Enough, please,” you begged, looking up to them and sighing, “dad’s not dead yet. He’s still the CEO of the company, don’t forget that. None of us are in power and the final decision is still up to him. So stop pretending like any of you are the one on top.”

Murmurs erupted inside the meeting room, then silence. “I’ll do what I know will help the company, just give me time—”

“But Y/n, we don’t have time!”

“Just give me one night!”, you didn’t mean to rudely interrupt, but the pressure is building up with every moment that’s passing. You couldn’t do this. You’re not as smart as your dad, you just can’t do it, “By tomorrow morning, I’ll give you my decision. Meeting dismissed.”

Your the first one who left the room, desperate for fresh air. “Ms. Yu! Drink some water.” Hendery chases after you, passing you a bottle of water. You took it, drinking with big gulps—hoping it would help drown all your sorrows and anxiousness away.

“What’s...what’s next in my schedule?” You ask your secretary. “You’re free for today, Ms. Yu.” Hendery lies, no plan of telling you that you still have a meeting later. He knows your tired and you just wanted to rest, not deal with stubborn corrupt business mans. “Good. Ready the car, I’m visiting dad.” You ordered, about to walk out the front door when cameras started flashing again. Reporters crowded you just like before, making it all seem like deja vu.

It sucks. You hate being in the spotlight.

You took a deep breath before entering the huge house where your parents lives. It’s quiet and peaceful. You listened to the story of the walls, them telling you every childhood memory that must’ve slipped out of your mind. You also saw a mere memory of you running through the huge corridors with your mom chasing over you.

You miss it. You miss being a kid, in your parents arms. Where no one’s depending on you.

“Y/n,” you turned around at the sound of your name, facing your mom, “Mom, are you okay? Have you been sleeping well?” You ask in concerned, taking in her disheveled state and hugging her tightly.

“No, your dad’s condition is getting worse. He couldn’t move anymore, let alone speak properly. I’m growing worried every second, Y/n. I’m afraid he’ll leave me.” Your mom confesses, crying once again by your shoulder. Your chest tightens hearing your father’s condition.

“M-Mom...you have to take care of yourself. Dad won’t like seeing you like this. I can’t have you sick, I don’t want to loose you too.” You tried to keep in all the tears that’s threatening to fall from your eyes. You have to be strong for her, you have to help her stand up back on her feet again, “Besides, dad’s not going anywhere. He’ll stay with us.”

“He’s inside, go visit him darling.” Your mother weakly smiles, pulling away from the hug and wipes her own tears. You stared at the closed door for a couple of seconds before pushing it open to see your father laying in bed, weak and sick.

You sat beside his body, placing your hand on top of his, “I want to finish college. I want to live a normal life. I don’t want to take your place, come back, please. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Dad, we miss you. We need you.” Finally, now that your alone, your tears slowly start flowing down. Just like before, when you were a kid, you climbed in your father’s arms and wrapped your arms around his waist. Your head placed on his chest as you cried and cried. “I miss you...”

You wished he would wrap his arms around you and pepper your face with kisses, laughing at your crying state and pinching your cheeks, telling you that you look much more prettier when smiling. Or he would tickle your sides until you laugh and beg for mercy, forgetting why you cried in the first place.

But no one’s wiping your tears now. You’re all alone with the weight of the world on your shoulders. You closed your eyes and prayed for an escape.

“Y/n? Y/n. Ms. Yu, wake up please.”

Groaning, you slowly sit up, noticing that your not beside your dad anymore and now your in your old room, with Hendery beside you. “Sorry for waking you up Ms. Yu, but your mother wants you to meet her guests down stairs.”

“Oh...I fell asleep?” You cringed slightly at how hoarse your voice was. He hummed as a reply and nodded. “I’ll be there, just, let me fix myself.” You tried to smile at him but no avail. “Yes Ms. Yu.” Hendery bows at you politely before leaving.

At first, you took sweet time admiring the room where you grew up. Nothing really changed, except for the fact you don’t use it anymore. You study at a university far from home, and you live at a penthouse near the school. It wasn’t really your plan to buy the luscious home, but your parents insisted on it, saying you don’t deserve living in a ‘small space’. Then you finally washed your face and tied your hair neatly before fixing your shirt and dusted off your denim pants before leaving.

“Y/n over here please,” your mom gestured you to stand beside her. You complied with her request and greeted the guests in a polite manner. “What a beautiful and mannered lady.” The mother of the family, you assumed, gushed and complimented you.

“She’s perfect.” The man smiles at you then at your mom.

Perfect? For what?

“Before I forget, this is my son, Qian Kun.” Mr. Qian introduced the young handsome man beside him. You both bowed at each other out of respect.

“I called you down here because we have a matter to discuss. We all know that you don’t have the knowledge of running our family’s company.” Your mom starts. Ouch, that gotta hurt. But then again, her point is huge.

“The Qian’s are our family’s long time friends, and their son, Kun graduated college with a degree. He’s a great young man for business.”

Your body tenses, right eyebrow raised, “Mom, are you implying that we give our business to the Qian’s just because dad’s sick and I couldn’t take over him?”.

“No, of course not dear, we would never. But we are willing to help the Yu’s. After discussing with your mother, we all decided that it would be better if you and Kun would be bonded for the business to be saved.” Mrs. Qian chuckled at you.

“Bonded? Excuse me?”

Your mother explained further, “What she means, we...we planned that you’ll be married with Kun just for now—“.

“I’m sorry if I was mistaken, but Mrs. Qian, you said everyone decided, right?”

She nodded.

“Where was I when it was decided? Do I even have a say in this? Marriage isn’t something that should be played.” You tried to calm yourself down, but the bitter feeling kept bubbling on the pit of your stomach. “We are aware of that, but this is the only way for the Qian’s and the Yu’s to be as one.” Mr. Qian agreed.

“Don’t worry Y/n, the wedding isn’t as serious. It’s just for business, I promise. I won’t do anything your uncomfortable with.” Kun speaks up, knowing how bad this all must look to you. “D-Do you mean divorce?” You ask. He nodded and smiled a little at you, “After we save the company, if you want divorce, I’ll comply.”

“Is there any way to save Yu Company? Dad will not agree to any of this if he was here.”

“But he isn’t,” Mr. Qian corrects you, “And yes, this is the only way.”

“I need time.” You lick your lips, looking down when you felt your head hurt a bit. Then you glanced at your apologetic looking mother and held her hand, “I won’t make a decision that’ll affect dad or the company negatively, I promise.”

“I know.” She whispered, gently caressing your hair just like any mothers would do.

“Don’t waste too much time. We must do the wedding as soon as possible for everything to be settled.” Mrs. Qian reminds you.

Was everything really fine?

There’s a possibility that dad will never get to get up from bed anymore, everyone in Yu Company is panicking, your tied in a marriage with a smart, rich, man that you never met ever in your life—

—and you’re the center of everything.

The weight of the world on your shoulders grew heavier and heavier. For god’s sake, you just turned 19 but now it felt like your in your mid-40′s, stressing over life instead of enjoying your teen days. You couldn’t even study for your college in peace, and your afraid that you’ll have to drop out.

“Ms. Yu, do you need anything?” Hendery knocked by your closed door before opening it. “No, nothing Hendery. Unless if you could save the company, cure dad.” You answered in full sarcasm this time, rolling over your bed and snuggling on your covers. Your secretary’s shoulders slumped as he sighed and fixed the blanket over your figure. He knows that taking care of you wasn’t part of his job, but he couldn’t help it. Not when he knows your hurting so much.

“If I were you, Y/n, then I would never marry Sir Kun. I would believe in myself and also never drop off of college.”

His words caught your attention, looking at him with creased brows, “But...I couldn’t. The Qian’s the only option right now.”

“You could. I know you could, you’re really strong and smart. I’ve seen you survive worse scenarios. Plus, you’re living independently without your parent’s support. That’s something very difficult to do.” Hendery sat on the chair beside your bed, making himself comfortable, “For example, me. I still live with my mom and I can’t be that independent yet.”

“You can’t? Doubt that. You’re taking really good care of me and that’s also a hard task. Congratulations on surviving my ass, Hendery.” You joke, also sitting up on the bed.

“All I’m saying is relax. If you take breaks, then you’ll be able to think everything through.”

“You too, Hendery. Go home now. It’s late and your mom might spank you for not coming home before the curfew.” You smirked, teasing him. Hendery’s cheeks turned red from embarrassment as he mumbled a quick goodbye and bowed before sprinting out your room.

He’s right. 

You could do this. Everything’s gonna be alright.

But now you just have to look for relaxation and time.

At first, it was really hard on convincing everyone that you need more time to think. It all seemed like a race, and they’re all wanting to get to the finish line as fast as possible. But not you, not anymore at least—thanks to Hendery.

And thanks to your mom’s support, they had no more choice but to agree bitterly. They gave you exactly one week for you to relax and by the next Monday, a final decision should be made. Not by your dad, but by you.

Basically, everything’s on your hands. If the company continues to downfall, that’ll be your fault. But if you save it, then you’d be a hero.

Now that’s something you could (never) relax on.

“Why...do I have to come again?” Hendery blinked, carrying bags on each his arms. “For starters, your the one who advised me on taking a break. Now we’re going on a short vacation!” You smile putting your sunglasses up. “And what’s with all these bags?” He looked like he had a hard time, but the expression on his face was so priceless that it had you laughing.

“Work and home works. Also research on how to handle business.” You answered in between giggles. He narrowed his eyes and shook his head in disappointment, “I don’t think you understand what ‘relaxation’ and ‘vacation’ means.”

“I do! It’s just...I need them, to not disappoint mom and so dad could wake up with a company that’s still as great as before when he started it.” It felt silly saying those words, but despite the relaxation, you couldn’t help but still feel like your stomach has been twisted.

“Yu Y/n,” someone called for you, making you and Hendery face him. “Qian Kun...” The smile on your face faded slowly as you bowed to show respect for the successful young man. “No need to be formal with your fiancé, Y/n,” Kun smiled back at you and didn’t even bother glancing at Hendery.

“Oh...I haven’t agreed yet.” You say, half disgusted by the way he called you his fiancé. “We all know it’s going to end with our marriage, right? Anyways, I heard your going to a vacation so I thought maybe I could drop you and your assistant off on the way.” Kun offers, acting as a gentleman.

“Assistant? Listen here Ken I’m—”

You painfully nudge Hendery on the side so he would shut up and gave Kun a fake smile, “That would be wonderful, Kun. But we got everything handled. I don’t want to be burden to you, I’m sure you have plans. Please don’t waste your time with me.”

“Wasting time, seems familiar for you, right?” Kun’s eyes glimmered into something that you didn’t like. His tone was as if he was pointing something out, “Well then, I’ll get going. By the way, I’m Kun not Ken.”

“Never get married with that man, Ms. Yu. Ken’s just acting nice but I’m sure he’s a devil in disguise.” Hendery spat once the young business man left. You chuckled in a high pitch, determined to hide the guilt you suddenly felt. Kun’s right, what are you doing? You have a company to save, a mom that’s expecting, and a dad to not disappoint—and here you are, going on a vacation. A fucking vacation.

“Maybe this is all a bad idea, Hendery. Let’s go back—”

“Shhh! I told you, you need to relax to think. I’m going to leave all these home works and really, really, really heavy papers. We’re going on that vacation and I have a perfect plan!”

“I don’t know how to drive, you don’t own a car. My driver’s also on a break, and we just shooed Kun, who’s the only one with a car, away.” You snort. Hendery fished for his phone and started typing, making you confused and curious.

“What are you doing?”

“Texting my cousin. Trust me, Yangyang’s trustable...on some occasions, but yeah, don’t worry.” Hendery seemed hesitant in the middle part of his sentence. You gulped, kind of worried on who this Yangyang man is.

After a lot of waiting, a blue jeep parked a few meters away from where you and Hendery both stand. 

“Cuz! Long time no see, man!” Hendery smiled, pulling his younger cousin into a bro hug. “We saw each other last week.” Poor Yangyang replies, but hugs back anyways.

“Right. Here’s my boss, Yu Y/n. Y/n, this is Liu Yangyang, my baby cuz.” He grinned happily, dragging the boy towards your side. “Hello Yangyang,” you greet him politely and bow a bit. For a few seconds, Yangyang stared at you deeply with his beautiful dark eyes. His gaze was gentle yet stern, but it was enough for you to stare back at him, analyzing his features.

Like his cousin, Yangyang surely has the visuals. Messy brown hair covering his eyes, sharp jawline, lips looking kissable—he was a dream.

“Excuse us for awhile, princess.” Yangyang cuts of the staring contest that seems to happen in between the both of you. He drags Hendery by his collar and drags him just a few meters away from you.

“What the hell is happening? You called me in saying there’s some kind of emergency.”

“There really is an emergency!”

“I don’t see anyone injured or fire or anything. It’s just princess, bags, and you. No emergencies at all.”

“Oh please, Yang. I know you cut off Ms. Yu’s pictures in the magazine and paste them on your wall—oUCH!”

Yangyang pinches his cousin then turned around to glance at you. When you smile and wave at him, his cheeks turned slowly turned pink as he clears his throat and looked back to Hendery with a glare.

“We agreed never to speak of that ever again.”

“Listen, I don’t care of your stupid celebrity crush you have on my boss. But Y/n needs our help to relax right now. She’s really pressured and stressed.”

“Fine...fine.”

“Soo...?” You asked, actually really curious of what they talked about. “We’re going to that vacation using Yangyang’s car!” Hendery cheered on, already placing the bags on the trunk of the vehicle. “Yeah...my car....yey...” Yangyang mumbled, opening the door for you to enter.

You noticed how hesitant he was and placed your hand on top of his, squeezing it, “Are you sure? You don’t have too, it’s not really that important.”

Yangyang’s cheeks redden more as he pulled away from your touch almost immediately, awkward and stiff, “I-It’s alright.”

“As long as it’s for you, Ms. Yu, Yang’s alright with everything.” Hendery sing-sang in a teasing voice, already entering the passenger’s seat. “That’s really sweet, Yangyang. Thank you.” You smile at him and enter too. The boy closed the door for you and jogged towards the driver’s seat.

“Where too?”

“Anywhere, away from the Qian’s.”

With your response, Yangyang looked at you through the rear view mirror and looked back at the road, starting the car, “You’re the boss.”, he mumbled, a smile finally escaping his lips.

It was the first time he smiled around you. And his smile did a weird tug on your heart strings.

No one really knows where to go.

Hendery’s fast asleep on the passenger’s seat, his mouth open with evidences of dry saliva on the corners of his mouth. Yangyang continued driving, feeling really energetic for some reason. He couldn’t help but let his heart beat faster every second while glancing up the rearview mirror from time to time to check on you. It’s weird, but you got him more awake more then caffeine ever does.

Are you some witch? It seemed like you did some magic upon him. He licked his lips and then looked back at the mirror, seeing you fight your sleepiness.

Your eyes slowly drooping close, then you would open them back on when you realized you’re close in entering dreamland. You looked really cute, Yangyang must admit, better then your pictures in the magazines.

“You...could sleep for now.” Yangyang spoke those five words he rehearsed a million times in his head before telling you. He’s too nervous, and the silly celebrity crush he has on you wasn’t a good help at all.

“But you’ll be awake alone. It’s fine, I’m not that sleepy.” You lied, rubbing your eyes. “I’m fine, you should sleep, princess. This vacation is for you to relax anyways.” He still tried to convince you, changing gears at the same time. “Princess? Why do you call me that?” You ask suddenly, sitting up straight.

Yangyang’s heart dropped at your question. Suddenly, his mouth feels too dry for his liking because just how will he explain to you that he sometimes sleep hugging your framed picture in hopes of dreaming of you. “U-Uhhh...you...look like one.”

“Really? My dad used to say that too.”

He just nodded, not daring to speak once again.

The atmosphere was heavy and awkward. You drowning yourself in your childhood memories, and Yangyang cursing at himself repeatedly. He wanted to hit his head again and again on the steering wheel and murder Hendery for dragging him in this situation in the first place. Giving up, he decided to open the radio instead.

And then music played.

Good news is that the once heavy atmosphere turned lighter, but somehow, it turned more romantic (minus Hendery) and awkward—but maybe it’s just for Yangyang.

“I like the music, it’s cute.” You smile at it’s tone, humming along to it.

Yangyang tried to say it. He really did. He continued trying to hold himself when his mouth seemed like it had a mind of it’s own—

—“Yeah, just like you.”

Shit.

“Hendery never mentioned your really this flirty. First princess, now your telling me I’m cute?” You smirked softly, slightly amused when his cheeks, even his ears went red. Yangyang mumbled some words you didn’t quite catch on. He reached to turn off the radio, “It’s not cute.”

“So your saying I’m not cute too?”

“No—shit—you are cute—I’m going to shut up and you’re going to sleep.” Yangyang admitted defeat and grumbled bitterly. “Even your nose is red, by the way.” You laughed and settled in the backseat, closing your eyes.

“Hen—fucking—dery.” His whole face was red by this point. He glanced at his sleeping peacefully cousin and rolled his eyes.

“Oi, wake up. Wake up donky.”

Hendery groaned as his eyes fluttered open. The first thing he sees is a pissed looking Yangyang and then you behind his cousin, holding back giggles. “You drooled all over my car you fucker. You better pay for my carwash.” The younger man sighs deeply, fully standing up now that he had succeeded in waking the other up.

“Ms. Yu! How was the car ride? Did you enjoy it?” Hendery suddenly felt like he drank ten full cups of black coffee, aware that his boss is with them. “You call me Y/n then Ms. Yu the next second. Very impressive, Hendery.” Finally, you laughed. Seeing your happy state, he felt relieved you seem to be relaxing.

“Did you just hear what I said? You got all your germs on my ride. Seriously, Hendery?” Yangyang snickers. “Eat your shit, Yang,” Hendery talks back at him then looked around, “Where are we?”.

“Kilometers away from the city. At a gas station for a break.” Yangyang answered him, stretching his limbs and yawning. “Are you sleepy? You should’ve slept last night too.” You startled him, making the man jump from his place a bit.

“I-I’m fine, not really that sleepy.”

“Told you he’ll do anything for you, Y/n.” Hendery scoffs at his cousin’s obvious lie and climbs out the car. “Hendery could drive later. You should rest.” You worriedly said, slightly poking his arm. “Y-Yeah, I will.” Yangyang couldn’t stop himself from stuttering. God, your too beautiful for this world.

“I’ll be on the convenience buying us breakfast I guess.” Hendery took his wallet, ruffling his hair. “I could buy for myself—”.

“—Nonsense Ms. Yu! I’ll treat you for now!” He sheepishly smiles. “You know, you should stick on calling me in one name.” You shook your head at him, letting out a smile too. Yangyang watched as you and Hendery take care of each other, ticking off like a bomb for some reason, “I’m going to the comfort room if anyone cares.”

Except, no one seemed to hear what he said. Yangyang pushed his way in the middle of you and Hendery, hands both buried in the pockets of his hoodie.

When the cousins were gone, you took your phone and scrolled down on the texts of one and only, Qian Kun.

qian kun: When are you coming back?

qian kun: I took care of the meetings in Yu Company, you don’t have to worry.

qian kun: Just marry me and everything will be fine. We’ll divorce in the end anyways.

Why is he acting like a boss all of a sudden when your gone for just a week? The Qian’s may be a family friend, but their motifs are all unknown. Why would they want the marriage to happen so quickly?

No. The wedding isn’t the only solution for this. You need to find another way, now that you find Kun suspicious. You opened the file of all the debts Yu Company has made, trying in all your knowledge to analyze everything and compute for the current budget. “Fuck, this is impossible—”

“Yu Y/n! Why are you looking at that?! What happened to relaxation?!” Hendery shrieked, looking as if you betrayed him. Though you didn’t have time to care. “Hendery, I think the Qian’s has something to do with everything. Look, there’s a pattern of corruption and I—”

“Uh, uh, uh,” Hendery tutted, shaking his head and opened the palm of his hand, asking for you to give him his phone, “Relax.”

“But—”

“She’s got a point ya’ know. Qians are dirty players, a secret why they’re all so successful and rich.” Yangyang interrupted, sitting by the hood of his car. “M’kay that’s true. Ken doll and his family are acting really suspicious. But we had an agreement, Yu Y/n.” Hendery continued acting like a mother punishing her child.

“Anddd, he also has a point.” Yangyang interrupted once more, smirking at you.

You scowled at him, poking your tongue on the inside of your right cheek. Left with no choice, you passed your phone to your secretary and pouted. “Now that wasn’t hard, was it?” Hendery placed it in his pocket. Yangyang chuckled and rummaged through the plastic bags, passing you and his cousin some sandwiches.

“Hendery’s scary when he’s angry, trust me.” Yangyang suddenly started to talk to you, enjoying himself with his food. You were surprised he seemed to open up with you. Just yesterday and last night, you had a hard time talking to him with his constant short replies.

“Ignore him. He’s talkative when he’s sleepy.” Hendery ruffles the latter’s hair.

“Is he always that cold?”

“Not cold, just nervous. Yang’s been in love with you ever since.”

“Spilling secrets now, are we? Well then, I like Yu Y/n! Hah! Beat that secret!” Yangyang breathlessly confessed. Your cheeks turned red from his straightforwardness and looked away from the handsome man. “Did I also mention he acts drunk when he’s sleepy?” Hendery calmly drinks on his juice box, unbothered.

“Does he really…? Or is it just his sleepy side talking?”

“Do you know how he cuts your pictures out of the magazine and frame them?”

“…Creepy…”

Yangyang never wants to wake up ever again.

He kept his eyes shut tight even if his mind is now fully awake. Fuck, he just said he likes you so shamelessly—Yangyang knew him being on this road trip was a bad idea in the first place. What else does embarrassment have in stored for him the more he is around you?

“What time is it?” He heard you ask. “I think about 2pm, we have to make a quick stop for lunch. Oh and wake Yang up.” Hendery answers.

Wake him up?

“Yangyang…hey, wake up.” You gently shook his shoulder. Yangyang did as you said, slowly opening his eyes—not expecting your face to come first at view. “Having the time of your life, Yang? Y/n let you sleep at her lap.” Hendery laughed while driving.

“What—“ Yangyang didn’t get to finish his sentence when he suddenly sat up and hit his head by the roof of the car. “Shit, are you okay?” You laughed too, placing a hand on his head. He didn’t answer but instead covered his face with both his hands, “What shit did I pull on this time?”.

“Oh…nothing…” The tone on Hendery’s voice wasn’t trustable, “didn’t you remember?”.

“No.�� Yangyang lied in a hiss, removing your hand off of him and sitting on the edge, creating a huge space in between the both of you. “Pull over there! I’ll buy the food this time, don’t stop me!” You giggled pointing at the fast food locating a the left side of the road. Hendery hummed and took the turn, finding for a parking.

Yangyang’s stomach growled loudly, and his ears turned pink. “What was that? Are you keeping a monster in there?” Hendery frowns in disgust. “The monster seem hungry.” You join his teasing. “Seriously, I regret being here.” The poor boy couldn’t handle it anymore, he whinnied enough for the two of you to laugh.

“Hey Y/n, watch me!” Hendery calls for your attention, throwing his fries up the air and catch it inside his mouth, smirking proudly. “Woah, that’s actually really cool.” You released a breath, truly amazed with the talent. Yangyang scoffed and drowned himself with coffee, grumbling under his breath, “Hendery? Cool? Doesn’t make sense. I’m the cool one.”

“You know we could hear you right? If your jealous Y/n likes me more then you, then just say so.” Hendery states, unimpressed and repeats his past actions. “I’m not—could you stop teasing me?”

“Are you both always like this?”, you ask, sipping on your caffeine. “You could say that.” Yangyang answered in a mumble, still really hesitant around you. “Really? I was never close to my cousins, they’re all successful people and they call me ‘brain dead’ just because they all know I can’t save Yu Company..”

The two cousins were quiet for a while, feeling pity for you. “Oh? I ruined the happy atmosphere, did I? Sorry.” You apologized, smiling weakly and drinking on the cup of coffee again to avoid their stares. “You know I hate being Hendery’s cousin too? Even my own mom loves Hendery more then me just because he works in your company and I work as a starving artist.”

It was the first time Yangyang would admit this stuff, usually, he would just stuff everything inside of him and kept it hidden from everyone. The only escape he has was the paintings he left back home.

Even Hendery looked taken back, “Really?”.

“Don’t think about too much, man. I’m kind of used to it. Besides, I love being under your shadows, thanks to it, my artworks are a hit.”

“Your an artist? That’s great! I want to see your works, please?” You begged him, pouting a bit. Yangyang scrolled down his phone and showed you pictures of his favorite masterpieces.

“Yang...I...I didn’t know you felt that way. I’m sorry...” Although the topic was changed, Hendery still seemed stuck. He was proud his little cousin continued to do the things he loves, but still, he didn’t intend on stepping on someone else. “Stop acting that way, Hen. It’s really weird see you like that. You look like a kicked donkey, I would edit you in a meme right now.” Yangyang cringed slightly at how stupid his cousin looks.

“Hey, It’s really nice that we all get to express our feelings. We all are a great trio.” You grin, trying to make Hendery smile. The boy finally let out a small chuckle, nodding along in agreement. “We should name our trio,” Yangyang suggests, a smile also growing from his lips.

“YUYA!” Hendery screams while raising both his hands, finally going back on his playful nature. “A what now?” You ask with furrowed brows in confusion.

“Sounds lame.” Yangyang commented.

“Yu and Yang.” He smirks, wiggling his brows making you and Yangyang blush furiously. “B-But that’ll only be me and Yang, where are you?”

“I’m and, the center of our group.”

“Pretty lame, but I kind of like it.” Yangyang clicked on his tongue then continued, “How about Yu and Yang’s slogan is ‘Qian’s are dirty players. Do not trust them’?”.

“I can’t believe that I actually like the name and the slogo of our trio.” You laughed too hard that you had trouble breathing. One hand placed on your stomach as tears gathered on the side of your eyes. Yangyang admired your happy figure, feeling as if time slowed down.

Hendery was the complete opposite though, forgetting you were his boss and took a couple of pictures to use as future blackmail.

And so, the Yu and Yang trio continued on their journey. Yangyang started to relax around you, teasing you more and bullying you when he gets the chance. You wouldn’t back down though, plotting your revenge every time.

And the revenge? Of course you would always bring up the celebrity crush he has on you and you would win every time. Hendery revealed the camera he bought in his bag and started to film everything with it. He was attached to it.

“3, 2, 1, Yu and Yang! Yu and Yang! Y/n’s Yu, I’m and, and Yangyang’s Yang! Woah I’m the center of our group, woah!” Hendery made silly lyrics, rapping them in a funny matter that made Yangyang let out a couple of laughs while driving, both hands on the steering wheel.

Hendery then turned the camera to you by the passenger’s seat, pushing the lenses on your face. “Yah! I have no make-up on, stop filming me!” You tried to speak in between giggles, covering your bare face. “Jeez, women and make-up really have a special bond boys will never understand.” Your secretary scoffs and smirks, not listening to you at all.

Yangyang shook his head at the two of you, nudging your side, “Hey look out the window, the view is to die for.”

So you did. Gasping out at nature’s beauty. Since no one really had a destination, the three of you decided to drive up a mountain to see the amazing view. Hendery presses his head on the window, also amazed with it. He made sure to capture everything by adding it to his mini film too.

“Stop the car, stop the car!”

“Okay, kid.” Yangyang jokes, glancing at his cousin’s excited look through the rear view mirror and then at you by his side and smiled to himself, feeling like flying up the clouds. When he parked the car at the side, the three of you stride towards where the view is best seen.

“I think I’m in love...” Hendery’s jaw dropped, taking in everything, the camera still in his hands.

You couldn’t speak, and you dared not too. The view was too beautiful that you know no words could describe it. Your really thankful for Hendery and Yangyang for bringing you up here, helping you relax and sort out your mind before you could make any sudden decisions.

“Thank you...so much...” You suddenly choke out, feeling too overwhelmed and caught in the moment. “Thank you Hendery for doing all these even if you don’t get paid for it. And thank you Yangyang, for sacrificing your car just to bring me here.”

“How sappy,” Hendery turned to you and smiled sincerely, “Aside from being my boss, your like a little sister to me—the kind that I didn’t knew I needed.”

“Plus, Hendery was right. I would...do...anything for you.” Yangyang rubbed the back of his neck, looking down the ground. You couldn’t help but smile too, flustered over his words. “I’m here too you know.” Hendery forces himself in between the both of you, wrapping his arms each on your shoulders and sighing in content.

“I think I’m ready.”

The two boys look at you.

“Dad’s going to be so proud.”

“He is, trust us.” Yangyang nods at you.

“Three, two, one—

Yu and Yang forever!”

The ride home was more fun, constant jokes being exchanged and all the goof was recorded with Hendery’s camera. You hope he’ll send it to you one day so you could cringe while watching how happy you look. The last time you remember laughing without any worries was years ago, with your family.

Now Yu and Yang is your second family.

It took two days for the three of you to reach the beautiful view and to learn secrets from one another. Now going back, it also took exactly the same days. Yangyang and Hendery took times in driving, not wanting for you to take their place and accidentally cause an accident.

“Pass your driving test first, Y/n.” Hendery would say when you feel bad and offer to drive instead. “Yeah, I know you have the money to pay the damages you’ll do to my car, but still.” Yangyang would make a side joke to make you feel lighten up and better.

“We’re here,” Yangyang whispered to Hendery, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking at the backseat to see you sleeping peacefully. The older one of the cousins leaned his back on the passenger’s seat, sighing deeply, “Yang, I owe you a lot of things.”

“What do you mean?” The latter chuckled a little from how serious Hendery looked.

“You helped me get into Yu Company even if it was your dream in the first place. I stole it. I’m sorry.”

Yangyang went silent for a few moments, enjoying the sound of rain drippling down the car’s window, “You didn’t steal it, Hendery. I realized I love art more then working under a company. Besides, it was only my dream because I have a huge crush on the Yu’s only daughter.”

They both shared laughs, but not enough to wake you up.

“Carry her, I’ll grab the stuffs.” Hendery pats Yangyang’s shoulder, putting his hood up and exiting the car. The younger man did as he told and opened the door to your side, eyes widening when your figure fell along. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, your head tucked perfectly on his chest.

“Y/n...Y/n, wake up, we’re here. Y/n? Princess?”

But no avail, you continued to be in deep sleep and snuggled further into him. Yangyang turned red as his heart started to sped up. The things you make him feel. Unbelievable.

Yangyang gave up in trying to wake you up, and took advantage of your deep sleep to place his hoodie on your head instead so you would be protected from the rain. He was getting wet, but he doesn’t really care right now—not when he has you in his arms like this. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be the last time he gets you like this.

“That’s her room.” Hendery points at the door when Yangyang enters your penthouse. He mumbled a quick thanks and safely laid you in the bed, tucking you in like a child and making sure you were comfortable. “Whatever your decision will be, I’m sure Mr. Yu will be so proud of you, Y/n. I hope you know that.” He whispered, caressing your cheeks a bit.

“I like you, a lot.” Yangyang confesses in a soft voice, “Good night Princess.”

He left with a full heart, now really grateful that Hendery had tricked him to join your vacation.

“You’re here early. You should’ve called me so I could pick you up.”

Kun enters your father’s office, where you are currently in—studying the debts of Yu Company. “I didn’t need too,” you mumbled out a reply, still not looking at him. The young business man leans towards your desk, towering over your figure, “Made any decisions yet, darling?”.

How dare he?

“Please don’t call me that. I don’t wish to continue on with the marriage.” You finally looked up to him, staring at him straight in the eyes. Kun’s smile faded, His gentle aura suddenly turned dark, “You don’t know what your doing.”

“That’s where your wrong Mr. Qian,” You smirk, standing up on the seat to be in face to face with him, “The vacation made me realize that I’ve been doing it all wrong. My father succeeded because he did his way of handling the company, and now I will do my own way of doing it.”

“Yu Company’s future will be dark, remember that. And it’s all going to be your fault.”

“I’m not afraid of taking risks anymore. I can do this even without your money.” The true color’s of Kun are showing, and your glad you weren’t manipulated with his fake suit. “You’ll regret this Ms. Yu, see you tomorrow at the meeting.” His voice was low and full of rage, he exits the office without turning back.

You released the breath you didn’t know you were holding, trying to compose yourself. Your not going to lie, his threats and stare intimidated you. Kun’s one smart man, and it’s going to be hard going against him.

Well, at least you know what the Qian’s are hiding now.

“May I please come in, Ms. Yu?” Hendery politely asks, knocking on the door. You look up to him and laugh slightly at how professional he suddenly is, “What’s up Hen? What’s with the sudden Ms. Yu?”

“I don’t know what your talking about,” Hendery pipped up with a smirk, walking over the desk and placing down papers, “But here are the papers you asked for. Anything else?”.

“Can you please cancel every schedule I have this afternoon? Oh and, drive me to Yang too. I have something to give him.” You gave him your best puppy eyes, feeling more at ease around him after the vacation. “Gosh, did I just become Cupid and bring two hearts into one?” Hendery placed a hand on his chest, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

A blush crept on your cheeks as you playfully glared at him, “Just...bring me to him.”

“Yes ma’am!”

“This is his place. You go, I’ll wait here. Oh and, take your sweet time.” Hendery continuous to tease the hell out of you. You punched his arm and giggled when he yelped in pain. Clutching on your bag tightly, you climbed out of the vehicle and stood in front of a small looking studio. Without wasting anymore time, you rang the doorbell.

But what you really didn’t expect was a topless Liu Yangyang to answer the door. He stared at your flustered face and raised a brow, waiting for you to explain why are you in front of his yard.

“U-Uh, h-hello,” your throat felt dry, and your eyes are struggling to stay in his face, gaze looking down on his defined chest to his abdomen before back up to his face, “I-I’m h-here t-too, u-uh, I-”.

Yangyang chuckled, finding you extremely cute right now, “My eyes are up here, princess.”

You looked away from him, avoiding his stare and passed him back the sweater he wrapped around you last night, “T-Take it.”

“Thanks.” The boy replied, taking it and moved away from the door, “Want to come in?”. Your heart fluttered and you didn’t understand why, entering the small place he called home. “It’s...so comfy here.” You compliment, looking around. “Thanks. I tried my best to decorate this junk.” He nods at you, grabbing a white shirt and wearing it right in front of you. Clearing your throat, you decided to ask, “Hendery said you have framed pictures of me, can I see?”.

“Make yourself at home.” Yangyang shrugged, striding to the kitchen to make drinks for the both of you. And so you did. You walked towards the room you assumed was his room, pushing the door open slowly just to gasp seeing that, in fact, Hendery wasn’t kidding at all.

There are framed pictures on the side table beside the bed, and some stuck on the wall.

“Creepy, am I right?” Yangyang didn’t know where he suddenly got the confidence when he used to keep himself meters away from you. But the moment he was able to open up, you also awakened something inside of him. “It is, but why do I feel...?”.

“Feel? What do you mean?”

You shook your head, turning to him to thank for the coffee he served you, “Oh yeah, I remember you paint, right? Can I see all your works in real life now? Pretty please!”. Yangyang laughed, “Alright, alright. Just don’t say pretty please ever again, please. Follow me.”

You smiled too and followed him like a little duckling following it’s mother. Yangyang took some keys from his pocket and opened a door that’s on the end of the small hallways. He glanced at you before opening the door, opening the lights. “Woah,” you didn’t know what to say except that Yangyang’s really one talented and gifted young handsome man.

“What? Am I supposed to be scared with that ‘woah’?” He guided you inside his art studio. “N-No. Everything looks perfect, Yang. It’s all really, really beautiful that I think I lost words.” You praised him. Yangyang blushed at this and ruffled his fluffy brown hair, licking his lips, “I’m doing a new artwork. It’s my favorite, wanna see it?”.

“Heck yeah.”

Yangyang hesitated to take your hand, but he did, then gently dragged you towards the huge canvas covered with a cloth.

“Ready?”

You nodded.

Yangyang then pulled the covers out, revealing his favorite artwork. “It’s...”, you smiled too widely, your teeth showing and your jaw hurting. “Yep. It’s me, you, and Hendery. Yu and Yang.”

“Oh my god, you drew exactly how I remember it was.” You exclaim, fingers delicately tracing every lines and curve of the masterpiece. “Really? I thought it looked bad.” The man behind you clicked on his tongue, crossing his arms over his chest.

It was a drawing of Yu and Yang by the view, laughing all together, side by side.

“I mean, I could kiss you just so I could prove that it’s really wonderful.” At this point, you didn’t know what you were saying. Suddenly, you felt a chest pressed fully on your back, and a hot breath by your ear. 

“Why don’t you?” Yangyang whispered.

When you turned around, you were met with his soft lips. The kiss was gentle yet firm, soft but passionate. Yangyang’s left hand rested on the small of your back while his other hand cups your jaw, deepening the kiss. You know your soaring through the clouds, but your not entirely sure. It was your first kiss, and you liked it more then you should have. 

Yangyang was the first one who pulled away slowly, his eyes still closed as he could still feel the sensation of your addicting lips against his. “We should do that again..” He breathed out, chuckling. You didn’t need to be told twice, throwing both your arms around his neck and smashing your lips on his once again. 

He couldn’t believe it. He’s here, with you, not only with you—but he’s kissing you! And your kissing him back! Oh, how Yangyang could die of happiness right now. 

“Hey...”

He hummed at your call, caressing your hair and looking down at his chest to look at you through hooded eyes. “I’m scared tomorrow.” You admitted, finally letting out the thought that’s been bothering you a lot. Yangyang shifted on his place and gently sat you up beside him at the small couch he has inside the art studio, studying your face features and smiling, “Why princess? Your dad will be there, so will your mom, Hendery, and don’t forget me. I’ll come tomorrow for you, so don’t be scared. If Ken doll decides to hurt you, I’ll step on him.”

You know he was joking, but his words did calm you a bit, “Yu and Yang, forever.”

“Forever.”

It was unsettling, and once again, you felt like a lost child with all the attention at you.

A child that did not know what to do, a child that’s easy to manipulate, a child that’s too weak. 

Second thoughts entered your mind once you were faced with the stakeholders, reporters everywhere, Kun by the corner, and your hoping mother beside him. 

What if you are wrong? What if marrying Kun really is the only solu—

“Go Yu!” Hendery cheers loudly from behind the crazy crowds, carrying a huge banner of a badly edited photo of you with a caption of ‘Yu and Yang Forever’. With him, stands Yangyang who looked embarrassed by his cousin’s antics, but nods at you anyways. 

Memories of yesterday flashed by your eyes—the kiss, the painting, oh god, the kiss. 

On cue, your cheeks flushed different shades of pink as you smiled at the both of them and looked away. 

“Dear, it’s not too late,” your mother pleaded, gently cupping your right cheek, “this is the only thing that your father left for us.” 

“Trust me on this mom, I know I can do this.” 

“Remember, this is all on you, Y/n. Mom’s right, it’s not too late. I’ll wait for you.” Kun’s eyes were full of mischievous but his voice was sickly sweet. “No...no, I think I could handle my family’s company well.” You eye back at him. 

“Does Y/n have a chance?” Yangyang asks his cousin, his chest tightening seeing how you and Kun talk to each other about something that looks heated. “Honestly? No,” Hendery worriedly says, “Unless a miracle comes. The worst thing that could happen right now is that the whole country would find Y/n immature and close the company forever.”

Yangyang looked at him with widened eyes. “That’ll break her.” 

“It will. But if Y/n’s confident, then we should believe in her.” 

After a few more minutes, you were finally called in the middle of everyone. the cameras in front of you won’t stop flashing, but you aren’t going to let this opportunity go. 

“Good afternoon, I am Yu Y/n, the daughter of CEO Yu and the only heir next to the company. Today, I am here to clarify the rumors,” You let out a shaky breath, flipping the file in your hands, “I-I’m...it is true that...the Y-Yu Company is...uhh,” your throat felt too dry. Your hands started shaking as you glance at your anxious mother and amused Kun. 

“I...”

“Ms. Y/n, is it true that instead of taking care of Yu Company, you went into a vacation instead?” A reporter asks, causing a lot of whispers to break through. “What? No—, w-well y-yes, but—”. 

“And is it true that you have cheated on your fiance, Qian Kun, with an artist named Liu Yangyang?” 

“Cheated? I would never do such thing!” 

“What’s going on?” Yangyang jolts up his seat, his eye brows furrowed together. “Oh no, this is exactly what I’m afraid of,” Hendery groans, slowly placing his banner down. “We need to help her.” 

You felt too lost, questions were being thrown at you and you didn’t know what to answer anymore. You thought you already prepared yourself with everything and even called the press to clear the rumors—but now you understand that no matter how much you try, you really can’t save Yu Company just like how your father did. 

Slowly taking steps back, your eyes started to sting. But when you looked right back at the crowd, Yangyang had a bond paper up with a written message on it. The handwriting was bad, probably because he wrote in a hurry, but you were able to understand it.

Be you, not your father. - Yu and Yang

A small gasp left your parted lips, you squint your eyes at the message. 

Yu and Yang. 

Nine letters, file #9. 

Be you, not your father. 

Don’t be fooled by the Qian’s dirty trick, believe in yourself and on what you stand on. 

The fear written all over your face was replaced with a grin as you now faced the reporters with more confidence, “Yes, I did go on a vacation with my close friend, Hendery and his cousin Yangyang. But rest assured, I never abandoned Yu Company in any way. Qian Kun has never been my fiancé—”

“—that is absurd!” Mrs. Qian stands up with a loud squeak, pointing a finger at you, “You cheated on my son and couldn’t even run the company properly!”. 

“He isn’t and never will be. I never agreed in the first place. Here, I am holding the file my father has kept locked in his desk for years,” You showed the file to the camera and smiled at how pale Mr. Qian suddenly looked. 

You turned the folder to file #9 and your eyes widened seeing how many evidences are there hidden. “Yu Company...was never bankrupt..?”. 

Once again, reporters turned crazy and even your mother was taken back. She stood up from her seat. You scanned the paper and dryly chuckled, having a hard time believing what you were just discovering. “Isn’t it weird that the amount the Qian’s just deposited the same amount of money the Yu Company lost on the same date my father suddenly felt ill?”. 

“Ms. Yu,” Kun this time also stood up from his seat, also alerted. But before he could come near you, Hendery was already in front of him with a raised brow, “Uh, I don’t think so buddy. Stay put of I’ll ruin your ken plastic face.” Glaring at him, Kun had no choice but to sit back. 

“Methyl iodine poisoning is a rare clinical practice, isn’t it? And Kun’s cousin, Dong Sicheng is a known doctor in China.” 

“Y/n! I demand you to stop now!” Your mom orders you in a stern voice. 

“Why so defensive, mom? The Qians would have never had an access in Yu Company if there’s no inside person.” There were tears forming in your eyes. You prayed to all the gods and goddesses out there that the file wasn’t true—that the inside person you were talking about isn’t the one you had in mind. 

Your mother turned silent, her breathing gotten uneven. 

“You were working with the Qians and tried to kill dad...Mom...what the fuck? Why would you do that?! Why would you ruin our family?!” You scream, loosing it. You wanted to march over her and grab her shoulders. Everyone inside the room was going crazy from all they heard. Yangyang holds your arm, holding you back before you could loose any control you had inside your body. “How could you?!”

“Your dad was a selfish man, okay?!” Your mom shouts, the whole truth finally showing. “He wasn’t that of a perfect husband. He never wanted to give me the company just because he thinks he could handle everything himself, so I had no choice. I thought you’ll be the good girl you are and would listen to me.”

“He wasn’t perfect but he loves us! Mom, I—” You cried out, balling your fists tightly as you break down. Yangyang hugs you close to his figure and glares at your mom, “Mr. Yu was never selfish, you’re the selfish one.” 

“Oh please, so you’re superman now? Tch. You’ll always be behind the shadows of Hendery. And by the way, you and my daughter will never be a match. She was born with a golden spoon and you? I don’t think you even have a spoon.” She scoffs, placing both her hands on her hips. 

“Ms. Yu, you’re under arrest for attempted murder,” A police officer comes just in time, along with others to arrest Qian Kun and his parents. 

All this time, you were living a pure lie. The happy family you had wasn’t happy at all. You’re father’s sick, and your mother was all behind everything. 

“Yang...”, you whisper, clutching on his shirt. “I got you,” Yangyang whispers back, letting you bury your face on his chest as he tries to shield you from every flashing camera. 

1 YEAR LATER

“Hey dad!” You enthusiastically greeted your father, kissing him in the cheek. Your dad continued to sit still in his wheel chair, but he did try to move his head towards you and make out a small smile. Although he couldn’t move or speak much, your still thankful he opened his eyes a week after the whole press incident. 

You sigh and kneel on the floor beside his wheel chair, holding his hand, “How are you? Are you properly taking your meds? You better dad or else I’ll scold you!”, you laugh at your own joke and squeeze his hand after. “The company’s fine, I actually can’t believe Hendery’s doing good in managing everything. He’s better then me!”. 

After everything that happened, you knew that the company would be better in someone’s else’s hands. Besides, Hendery knows more about Yu Company more then you do. He’s the one who told Yangyang about what to write on the bond paper a year ago. He knew about everything after investigating quietly. So long story short—you let him lead. 

“I’m so happy you’re here, dad.” You say, kissing his knuckles with a tear slowly falling down his eyes. You chuckle and wipe it gently, “Don’t cry or else I’ll cry...”

“Ms. Yu, I’m sorry to interrupt, but would you like to walk your father around the garden?” Your father’s personal nurse, Yoo Jimin, asks with a sweet smile. “Yeah, thanks Jimin. You know, for taking care of my dad. I owe you a lot.” You smile back at her and remove the break on the wheelchair. 

“No problem, Ms. Yu. Besides, Hendery’s kinda cute...” 

You smirk, pretending that you didn’t hear about her little crush on your dear old friend before rolling the wheel chair out the house and into the garden. 

“You’re probably wondering how me and Yangyang are, right?” You ask your father, staring at the sunset in front of you. Your dad tried to hum in agreement, but it more sounded like a groan. You giggle and lean down to hug him from behind his neck, “he’s really sweet, dad. Don’t worry, he’s taking care of me so much. Just a year ago, he was just Hendery’s cousin, but now he’s my boyfriend. Unbelievable, right, dad? But I’m thankful they forced me out on that vacation in the first place.” 

The sunset was beautiful, and it reminded you so much of the one you saw with Hendery and Yangyang. 

They were right—no matter how many papers you study or how many times you married any rich business man, you might have never learned the truth. The key was you all along. You didn’t have to rule just like your father, you just had to be you. 

The real you. 

Yu and Yang forever. 

©AEHYEI, 2022

[hotch-stufff]

Missed Opportunities

gif by dudeitiskarev

The 4 times you wanted to kiss Hotch and the 1 time that you did

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , Part 5

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Warnings!: angst, pining, cursing, crying, mentions of normal criminal minds things, fluff, kissing, slowburn

Author's Note: Part 2 of this mini series! There will be 5 parts total! I cannot guarantee a regular updating schedule. Hopefully once a week. Any feedback you could give is greatly appreciated. Requests will still be open, they will probably just take longer for me to get out. Enjoy reading! :)

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The Second Time - January 7, 2011

The second time you had wanted to kiss Hotch was a couple months later. Of course, you had definitely realized you had feelings for the man. How could you not? He was so ... Hotch.

He had been so sweet after that first night. Something had shifted in your relationship and you two had grown much closer. And your feelings for him became more than just a crush. Every moment with him, felt amazing.

But that actual feeling of wanting to grab him and kiss him didn’t happen again until January 7. 

It had been a really rough case. Like really rough. A kid case. They were always the worst. And they always hit Hotch and JJ the hardest. JJ had Will, she could go and talk to him about the cases like this. But you knew Hotch was going to need someone or something. You just didn’t know how to breach the subject.

He wasn't a "talking about his feelings" kinda guy.

He had been hiding in his office since you had gotten back about an hour ago. Everyone had left, he had sent them all home early. You had stayed of course, waiting for him to take his own advice.

But when that didn’t happen, you made your way up to the break room, grabbing some tea and a muffin for him. Maybe the tea would make him tired enough to go home. Hopefully.

Once finished, you made your way up the stairs to his office and walked in unannounced. He gave you a rather shocked look. You simply walked over to him, unfazed.

“Y/l/n, what are you still doing here?” he asked. It was then you noticed the deep purple bags under his eyes, his disheveled hair, and his loosened tie. You sighed. He looked exhausted and hungry. You doubt he had slept since you had gotten called away on the case.

“Hotch. You need sleep and food. And to go home and see Jack.” He looked almost guilty as he lowered his head, and looked at his hands in his lap. He reminded you of a little boy who had gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

“I’m fine Y/l/n.” You shook your head, handing him the muffin and setting the tea on his desk as you rested against the side of the desk. You weren't letting this go.

“Eat.” He looked at you, a slight glare. But you held eye contact, your own glare present in your eyes. A staring contest began before he glanced down again. Giving in, he picked up the muffin, taking a huge bite. An exaggerated bite. With a roll of his eyes.

“Better?” he asked through a mouthful of food. You giggled at his sloppiness. You had never seen him act so domestic. Especially not at work.. not since that night 3 months ago. It was strange.

He swallowed before talking again. “What are you laughing at?” He glared at you playfully.

“I’m sorry. But the big bad BAU chief doesn’t look so big and bad trying to be mad with a mouthful of food.” You started laughing again, and he joined you.

His laugh was absolutely beautiful. It was the best sound you had ever heard. Once he stopped, amd you both calmed a bit, he gave you a skeptical look.

“So why are you here so late?” He asked. You ducked your head, hoping to hide the blush that was no doubt spreading across your cheeks. You needed to lie. He'd probably see right through you, but it was worth a shot.

“I uh, had some paperwork to take care of.” Could you have been any more obvious? You knew he knew you were lying.

“Y/n. I’m a profiler, and you are a terrible liar. So what’s really going on?” You hesitated for a moment. Did you tell him? No. You wouldn't. But you could at least let him know you cared about him. Let him know someone was thinking about him.

“Alright, fine. I wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed … I don’t know. You just seemed so sad on the flight, and I wanted to make sure that you had someone to talk to if you needed it. I mean not that you need it, I just, ya’ know. Um…” You trailed off.

Hotch was giving you this look. It was intense and just made you feel all fuzzy inside. “Sorry Hotch, I probably overstepped.” You shook your head, standing up. You were an idiot. Definitely overstepping.

But he stopped you grabbing your arm and turning you towards him. 

And in that moment, when your eyes met, that urge came back. He had this look in his eyes, like, like he wanted to kiss you. And god did you want to kiss him. You wanted to kiss him so bad. Just to lean in and push your lips against his. Just to feel them on your own.

But that was merely a dream.

The spell was broken when he pulled you in for a hug. Just a hug. He squeezed you gently whispering a thank you in your ear. 

You hated the disappointed feeling that spread through you. Just a hug. Because you were just a friend. A coworker. A subordinate. 

He pulled away after a second.

“Thank you y/n. It means a lot. You're an amazing friend” His voice was soft, softer than you had ever heard it. You two were standing so close that you realized if you didn’t get out of there, you would end up just kissing him.

But those words rang loud in your head. 'Amazing friend' he had said. Just a friend. You wanted to cry.

You made up an excuse so you could get out of there. You wouldn't cry in front of him. Not again. Not about this.

Luckily your excuse wasn't a lie. He would have seen right through that.

“I have to go. My, uh, my dog has to be let out and you should really get home to Jack. Let him see you when he wakes up.” He nodded, the moment ending quickly. You both moved away from each other.

"Goodnight Hotch. Get home safe." You whispered before walking out of his office.

You missed the disappointment in his eyes and the soft goodnight as you shut his door. 

The drive home was torture. You were so conflicted, and you wanted to cry. You could feel your eyes welling up. But you held on. You wouldn't cry until you were safe at home curled up with a tub of ice cream.

You wished you had kissed him. If only you were brave enough to actually do it. If only you could tell him how you felt. 

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Thanks for reading! Kinda short, but I hoped you guys enjoyed Part 2! Requests are still open, so ask away! If you would like an idea of what to request, here is my prompt list, and if you would like to read more of my work, here is my masterlist.

[damn-stark]

Ch.10: I Hear a Symphony

Chapter 10 of Cherry

A/N: I really hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I loved how it came out. *cue in song Bundle of Joy from Inside Out*

Warning- ANGST, LONG CHAPTER!, Talks of injury and loss and grief, violence, FLUFF!!, swearing, SLOWBURN ;)

Pairing- Jean Kirstein x reader,

Episodes- 2x36-2x37

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

Good and bad memories tried to surface and distract your mind from the dooming thoughts that plagued your mind, but you were persistent in pushing both away. It was too painful to relish in either. Instead you basked in the feeling of the setting sunlight beams kissing your skin ever so gently, whilst the chilly evening breeze flew past your body and howled in your ear.

The sound of Titans, cries of other soldiers echoed everywhere, but you tried your best to drown it all out as you thought you were going to fall into your death. You hated the darkness, but you welcomed its deafening sound in your ears. Because at least hearing nothing was better than hearing the chaos that surrounded you. And you didn’t know why you were so willing to embrace death. Maybe because it was better than trying to get your hopes up with fake scenarios where you lived, when you knew there was nothing you could do. Or maybe because dying would make the heartbreaking pain stop.

But nevertheless, you were too hopeful, or too hopeless. Because as the smell of a Titans breath rushed in your nose and their drool splashed on your face, suddenly wire wrapped around you and reeled you out of the Titans hot mouth, pulling you instead into the secure and the warmth of someone’s tight embrace—Jeans tight embrace.

After your bodies crash into one another, suddenly time didn’t move as slow as you felt it did seconds ago, this time it moved too fast. Now every feeling you pushed back returned, while the chaos that the day had turned into welcomed you back. Pain also returned to your body, it was a persistent factor as the quick speed that Jean had moved in got out of control and made him crash onto the earth with you still secured in his arms. You both rolled on the grass until you both finally came to a stop.

Time after you finally stopped moved at its normal speed, unlike your pounding heart. You finally peeled your eyes open one by one and felt relief wash over you as you saw the grass and dirt in a much closer perspective. You couldn’t rejoice in the fact that you were safe, because that wasn’t true, you were still surrounded by mindless Titans. What you did do though was stay in Jean’s embrace a bit longer, just like he kept his arms around you, finding that the both of you were actually embracing the fact that you were alive, that he got to save you in time.

You stayed that way for a minute longer, it felt like longer, but it was only a minute, or even a few seconds longer. After that you quickly pulled away and met his shocked gaze, noticing his cheeks were a very soft shade of pink as he noticed you were on top of him. Jean didn’t say anything, he actually felt like his words ceased to exist from his head until you slid off him. He could find his composure after that and was quick to drop the…weird tension and instead slap his hands on your shoulders to begin pestering you. “Y/N, are you okay? Did that asshole hurt you?”

You shake your head and offer him a faint but assuring smile. “No he didn’t. I’m just a little bruised, but I’m fine.” You scan his body as he sits up, and let out a relieved breath when you find no injuries on his body. “What about you?” You ask as you lean towards him with your eyebrows deeply furrowed in concern. “Are you okay?”

Jean doesn’t hesitate to nod to assure your worry, pushing himself to his feet and helping you on your own. “Come on, let's get on a horse,” he said as his fingers slid off your wrist. “And stay close.” He turns his head to shoot you a warning glare, his once softened brown eyes, now as intense as usual. “I’m serious, don't pull anything reckless. Need I remind you that you don’t have your gear on.”

“I know,” you scoff with a pointed glare. “I’m not some suicidal maniac.”

Jean looks to you and the corner of his lips twitch before he eventually shoots you another warning look and then focuses back on your surroundings to make sure no Titans get close. But even when you finally got on a horse, safety was still not a guaranteed thing with chaos in every perimeter. When you look over your shoulder you see that Reiner was still surrounded by mindless Titans all trying to tear him apart. And even if you had the instinct to still worry about him, you couldn’t focus on that feeling and instead you fully focused on who he still had in captivity.

“What about Eren?” You ask Jean from the top of your horse. “We—”

“No,” Jean cuts you off instantly, “we nothing. You have no gear. And there's too many Titans surrounding Reiner, for everyone to be over there,” he sighs as he follows your line of vision. “But I think—” Jean suddenly cuts himself off and pushes his horse to step forward a bit as he catches something he quickly points out. “Look! Damn, Commander Erwin really is a devil.”

You make the horse move beside Jean and you catch only the final act of the scene Jean had seen. Through the chaos you see Erwin falling down to his horse with his blade in one hand, while the other arm you noticed was missing. It was an unbelievable sight, but it was true and not some hallucination from your exhaustion. “How the hell,” you mutter as you watch Erwin land on his horse, seconds before drifting your eyes to the sky after noticing Eren in Mikasa’s grasp. That sight also left you incredibly awestruck because she was injured but still fighting. “Incredible.”

And after Mikasa finally had Eren with her on her horse, without hesitation Erwin rode forward with his balde raised over his head to yell out a reassuring command, “All soldiers, retreat!”

Doing as he said, you and what was left of the Scouts rode forward to return home, and you didn’t dare look behind you anymore, you couldn’t handle it. All you wanted now was to get home, eat and sleep, you didn’t want to think of what happened or the change that had happened in a single day. You didn’t want to think about him, or what he did…even if you knew that once you lay on your bed and were surrounded by silence, that what he did would come to mind, even if you wanted to avoid it, every single memory and every ounce of pain would plague your mind and make you cry to your pillows. And maybe it was better to let go of it, feel everything once you were under your sheets.

But that time couldn’t come quicker because before anyone could get far a Titan was hurled your way, landing just a few feet away from the squad, disrupting the formation and causing you all to come to an abrupt stop as to not fall, or crash into someone else through the screen of smoke that came from the dead Titan. You tried to look behind you to see what sort of trouble was caused because of the Titan, but you couldn’t see anything through the smoke, not even Jean who had been riding beside you—once part of the smoke, and dirt had cleared from your phearial view, all you caught was Reiner throwing Titans like some mad man. Your worry after that heightened. Not only for you, but for Mikasa who had been injured with weaponless Eren riding with her. You worried for Erwin who was now missing an arm, for Jean, Sasha, Connie, Armin and the rest of the Scouts.

However you could do nothing to help any of them—“shit,” you grumble. You move further, but stop soon thereafter as you see Mikasa and Eren in the distance, both off the horse they had been on and a Titan heading directly towards them. “Shit.” You repeat again, clenching your reins and signaling your horse to move towards them.

“Y/N!” You hear Jean shout. “What the hell did I tell you!” Both him and Armin fall at your sides and catch what you had seen, all three of you noticing the same man from earlier that day, Hannes, with them too. “Stay close, y/n.” Jean repeats as you all continue to ride forward the trio ahead, catching the old man swinging around the Titan that had been heading their way. “Give the old man backup!”

Right as the three of you sped up however a loud whooshing sound catches your attention. You look over your shoulder and see that Reiner had hurled yet more Titans your way, you then have to stop as to not fall from the impact—“Reiner?” Armin gasped as you both looked over at him in the distance. “What’s he doing?! Does he not care if Eren is eaten?!”

“He does,” you answer him, “he just doesn’t want us to get away.”

“Don’t get in our way, you big sack of shit!” Jean bellows angrily before the three of you continue towards Eren and the other two. But before you could reach who you’re running towards, you’re unaware of the Titan hurling your way until it’s too late. Armin and you catch it once it flies over your heads, but when you try to warn Jean about it, the Titan crashes too close in front of him and causes him to fall out of his horse. Jean crashes onto the ground with the back of his head smacking the ground first, the harsh impact makes him go limb, and causes your own heart to clench as your eyes widen out of fear of the worst.

“Jean!” You bellow as you jump off your horse without thinking, not caring for what could be lurking around, or what could crash nearby. Armin called out for you, he wanted you to be careful since you were defenseless, but all you cared about was Jean. Knowing if he was alright was your priority, it took over everything else and made it all less significant. It was selfish, you knew, but you were afraid to lose him like you lost Marco. “Jean!”

Come on please be alright.

You fell beside him and quickly cradled him in your arms, not fretting to lift him up to bring his chest close to your ear so you could try to hear his heartbeat—come on, come on, not you too, please not you too—you kept thinking as you pressed your ear against his chest, and held in your breath so that sound wouldn't get in the way of what you were trying to hear.

“Y/N—”

You raise your finger in front of Armin's face to cut him off as you anxiously wait, finding yourself closing your eyes while you wait for what feels like an eternity. You longed to hear what you craved so anxiously that once the sound of his heart beating echoed in your ears, it felt like music to your ears. You were filled with overwhelming relief and happiness that a soft whimper escaped your lips as you released that breath of air you had trapped in your lungs, feeling a smile tug on your lips as well. “He’s alright,” you assure Armin. “He’s alive.”

“Okay,” Armin nods, letting out a relieved breath of his own before his hands wrap around your arm to help you to your feet as you had Jean unconscious in your arms. “We—” Armin cuts himself off as he catches the Titan coming your way over his shoulder. He’s then filled with dread and worry since he sees that none of your horses were nearby. You were all left defenseless and in more danger than before. “Come on,” he urges you as he pulls you away from the open field and stops under a tree.

Armin let’s go of your arm and steps in front of you to try his best at protecting Jean and you from the Titan who posed a threat before you. You wanted to try anything, you wanted to help Armin as he waved his blade at the Titan, but all you could do was hear the chaos that was happening around, feel the thumps of the Titans stomps as they rattled the earth below you; but all you did was watch soldiers die by Titans, notice the old man they called Hannes get torn apart by the Titan he had tried to kill. You caught Mikasa and Eren on the ground, seeming to share a moment they probably thought was their last as that same Titan reached for them too.

All that came to mind again was if this was the end? After all the trouble Reiner had gone through to take you with him, to keep you safe, now you were closer to death again all because of his doings, not only you but every single one of your friends—his friends once upon a time too.

Death seemed certain again, and even if the beautiful painted evening sky brought you comfort in this close brink to death. Death was still something you didn’t want. That no one wanted. But what could you do but face it?

Nothing.

You were weaponless, injured, exhausted and stuck with Jean unconscious in your arms and Armin trying to protect the both of you with a hand grabbing yours while with the other he waved his sword at the mindless Titan. It wouldn't do anything, he knew that, but he was trying to keep you safe because he was afraid that if he left, if even for a second, that another Titan would grab Jean and you while he was too far to do something about it. You’d do the same you did admit, so you didn’t urge him to do something else. You held onto his hand and found comfort in that too.

But nevertheless, as death was just around the corner, suddenly everything went silent, every chaotic movement came to an abrupt stop and something in the air seemed to shift. The eyes of the Titan that had been in front of you shifted and looked directly past you, it’s body freezing for a split second before it stood up and it, and every other Titan that surrounded the area went running past you. The sudden change left you with your mouth agape and when you looked at what they were suddenly focusing on, the sight of them pouncing on the Titan that had once threatened Eren, and Mikasa only surprised you furthermore.

“What the,” you gasp, unable to finish your sentence from your disbelief.

“I think Eren did that,” Armin mused whilst he stood up with his hand still around yours.

You stood up too and couldn’t tear your eyes from the gory scene. “What exactly did he do?”

“I don’t know,” Armin shrugged, “but whatever it was, it has the Titans distracted,” he paused and tugged you with him. “Let’s go before they finish their meal.”

Not hesitating to listen to what Armin instructed, you hurried and climbed onto approaching horses and secured Jean behind you so he wouldn't fall. Seconds after though, there was another shift, this time instead of eating the Titan, their attention changed to Reiner and Bertholdt, and they began chasing them away, leaving the Scouts goal to once again come into play—“Full retreat!” Commander Erwin shouted at the top of his lungs once he saw Eren secured on a horse.

Again you tried your best not to look behind you as you continued your path back home, but it was impossible to keep yourself from at least stealing a last glance back. Doing so as expected hurt every fiber of your body and broke your heart more. You once would’ve been worried and panicked to help Reiner, but now, as your eyes fell on his Titan all you saw was a traitor and an enemy. As heartbreaking as it was to urge that thought in your mind, it was true and you couldn’t shake it off. The one thing you did feel pity for was seeing Ymir return towards the struggling pair, you didn’t know why she did so considering Historia was riding with all of you, but she did, and unknowingly it was the last time any of you would see her.

——

“Cherry!”

You pull your eyes away from Commander Erwin being taken away by the medical staff, to see Levi hastily approaching you.

The sight of his face brings a small tired smile to your face, but the exhaustion doesn’t keep you from meeting him halfway and throwing your arms around his neck to pull him in for a much needed embrace. Levi is as always surprised by the gesture, but he, as always, returns the embrace. “How are ya, kid?” He whispers as he moves a hand to the back of your neck to keep you close. “What the hell happened? You had me worried.”

Your bottom lip trembles at his questions, but you fight every nerve in your body to keep yourself from breaking down in front him. Instead you hold onto him tighter and bury your head in the crook of his neck, proceeding to mumble out your response against his shoulder. “I’m okay. I’m,” you pause to draw out a shaky breath. “okay.” You pull away, and offer him an assuring smile that he couldn’t tell was forced and hiding your real emotions behind it because it was well hidden by the darkness that the night brought. For once you were grateful for that.

“Actually,” Hange interjected out of nowhere. “Y/N, might’ve suffered a mild concussion considering that she hit the back of her head after Reiner, and Bertholdt transformed.”

Levi’s eyes snap towards Hange, and the grip he had around your arms tightened as they continued. “She also might have gotten a cut, or a small bump.”

“Hange,” you hiss as you pull away from Levi, and shoot them an intimidating and burning glare.

Said person just shrugs and excuses their reason for saying the truth to Levi. “I’m sorry, but I had to, I knew you wouldn't have said anything Cherry. You would’ve had me worried.”

You cross your arms over your chest and huff out, “tsk. I’m okay.” You begin to walk away from the pair and avert Levi’s scolding glare. “I’m going to go check on Jean now. Okay? Goodnight.”

“Hey, brat where you are going.” Levi protests after you, preparing to tackle you down if the need arises. “Come back here.”

You wave at them both and quicken your pace to run from their overbearing worry, but Hange is quick to grab your arm and drag you away with them both. “Come on,” they say, “let’s get you bandaged, fed and put to bed.”

“Huh? I’m not a child,” you sneer through gritted teeth.

“No,” Hange agrees, parting their lips to continue with a lighthearted comment but getting interrupted by Levi beforehand.

“But you are acting like one.” He scoffs. “And if you don’t want to be treated like one, cooperate.”

Hange leans their head towards you to bring their lips close to your ear to whisper something Levi wouldn't hear. “You know what I think?” They smile softly, “I think he loves treating you like a little girl. He misses it.”

You glance down at their hand around your arm and then meet their gaze, raising a quizzical brow to silently question their own actions with a simple look they understood by proceeding to just drop your arm with a nervous giggle. “Why don’t we hurry on up before you collapse on us, yeah?”

You sigh, and hide your threatening smile. “Whatever.”

——

“Fuck.” He groans softly, “what a fucking headache.” He rubs his forehead with the pad of his fingers and let’s out another soft groan while he groggily sits up in his bed. “Fuck.” He lowers his hands and rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands, dropping them to his sides seconds after and letting out a deep sigh as he stretched out every sore limb he could. His eyesight slowly cleared and he fully took in the small room that wasn’t his, but was forced to stay in for an injury he thought irrelevant. He thought of laying back down for a minute longer, but as he dropped his hands to the mattress a sound he suddenly picked up on in the room made him freeze. He was afraid to turn and identify what it was he heard, but he gives himself a quick confidence boost and slowly turns his head to see…you.

At first he thought this was some dream, like a very weird dream, but after he rubs his eyes again and his vision clears, he still sees you asleep on a chair. Regardless, he still didn’t believe you were here, so he closed his eyes again to see if it would clear things up. But no, everything was undeniably clear, you were balled up on a chair with drool running down your chin, and a hand hanging down from said chair. His eyes followed what your fingers hovered over and he wasn’t surprised to see a book you had dropped after he assumed you passed out.

But, why? Why were you here?

He was surprised to say the least, he was also beginning to feel something else he couldn’t describe, but he didn’t try to investigate that further when his question still remained unanswered. But he also didn’t try to wake you up to ask you directly, he saw you too peacefully sleeping in the uncomfortable wooden chair to try. Instead he quietly swung his legs over the bed to slide off the edge and slide his feet into some slippers.

However once he was on his feet, that's when he faced a small predicament. He didn’t know what to do, he’s never had someone asleep in his room; he knew he didn’t want to leave you alone in the room, that’d be rude, but he was truly lost. His eyes scanned the room to try and find what to do, finding no solution until they landed on your book on the floor. He then thought of picking it off the floor, carefully making sure to tiptoe backwards to throw said object on his bed, it was then that he finally noticed a small box on the bedside table.

He caught himself staring at it for a moment out of curiosity, seeing a small note attached to the box with his name elegantly written on the parchment. He walked towards it to reach for it, but before his fingers could touch the box, from the corner of his eyes he caught you waking up almost as if someone had scared you awake. He turns to face you and shortly thereafter it doesn’t take you long at all to sit up and face him too.

“Oh, Jean you’re awake, finally.” You greet him with a faint smile. “I’ve been waiting for some time now. You had me worried.”

Jean scoffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “Oh I’m sure you were very worried,” he remarks as he points to the drool dribbling down your chin. Your face burns and you’re quick to take out your cloth from your cardigans pocket to wipe it all off.

“Not like you can speak,” you retort and point at his bed head

Jean quickly brushes his fingers through his hair and does the best he can to fix it before he gives up and just ends up looking at you again. “Whatever,” he sighs out, “it doesn’t matter. What are you doing here?”

You stretch out your arms and let out a long yawn before you stand on your feet and stretch the rest of your limbs, hearing bones crack after that uncomfortable nap. “Well after waking up from some sleep, I came to make sure you’d wake up.” You explain as you walk past Jean, feeling his eyes follow your figure as you stop by his bedside table.

“Why?” He couldn’t help but ask.

You pick the box off the table and slowly turn to meet his gaze and give him an answer with a small smile on your features. “Because I was worried.”

Jean's eyes narrowed on you and he lets out a lighthearted scoff as if he had heard the most absurd thing ever.

“What?” You question with the box in your hands.

“So what?” Jean huffs out, “you waited for me to wake up to check if I was fine?” He leans towards you, showing that weird face he makes when he's mocking someone, before also letting out a breathless laugh. “You’re joking.”

“No,” you roll out slowly in confusion to his behavior. “Why would I be? I was worried for you Jean.” You tilt your head and your smile widens. “Is your head okay? Or are you suffering some sort of mild confusion after hitting your head?”

“No,” Jean scoffs out, whilst his eyes study your face to see if you’d crack and just laugh and say you were joking, to wait for the mocking remark, but when he noticed you weren’t joking, that your smile didn’t fall and the genuine look in your eyes didn’t didn’t change, he was the one that changed. The amusement slowly fell from his face, and his eyes flickered away the intensity they usually carried to slowly widen and show the hundreds of different emotions racing in his mind. He couldn't believe what he heard. He knew you cared to some degree, because after all you were best friends, but he didn’t know you cared so much as to wait for him to wake up after getting hurt.

Jean just couldn’t believe that he actually had someone who cared for him like that. He had seen this gesture once not so long ago (like days ago), and he was upset—jealous, because he wanted that specific person to care for him like that, but once he saw that she never even batted an eye his way he got slightly upset. Yet, now he was slowly coming to realize, as you stood in front of him with the small box in your hands, and a sweet smile on your face, that he was always looking the wrong way, that he hadn’t noticed that the person who cared that much for him was right in front of him. You.

Jean saw you now.

He noticed your eyes seeming to gleam brighter by the sun's beams peeking through the window and his heart did this weird flip inside his chest, and your smile made his stomach…flutter. For the first time it seemed that he actually opened his eyes, it even seemed that every color that surrounded him grew brighter, more beautiful, he even swore he could hear a sweet and nice melody in his head, something he hadn’t felt before. No. It felt different before, not as exciting or heart racing. The only problem was that he didn’t know what it was that he was beginning to feel. He didn’t want the feelings to go away, but he couldn’t necessarily identify them yet. Could you?

“You-you w-were worried?” Jean stammered out. Not at all making it any obvious of what he felt—way to go Jean.

“Obviously,” you scoff as you squint your gaze on his stunned face. “Why wouldn't I be? Hey are you sure you’re okay, maybe you hit your head a little harder than expected.”

Jean snapped from his stupor, blinking to drop his gaze while he took a step back and assured your concern. “I’m fine.” Instead he chose to focus on the box in your hands. “What is that?”

“Oh, right,” you glance down at the box and push it towards him, lifting your gaze to meet his. “I made this for you. I know you hate getting pampered, but I wanted to make you a small care package.” You smile sweetly. “To thank you for saving me, and because you’re hurt.” You want to fiddle with your fingers due to how flustered you felt, but the box in your hands made it impossible. “There's some soup I made for the headache,” you smile wider and notice that not once has he pulled his gaze away. You only wondered what was going through his head. “Trust me it works, Hange would make it for me all the time. And there's also stuff for the pain and tea packets. Just don’t tell the others, okay? I didn’t make the rest any.”

“Oh,” Jean says while he took the box from your hands and lowered his head to hide the blush that crept on his cheeks. “Thank you. Shouldn’t you be getting one of these too? Considering.”

You scoff and walk past him to grab your book and silently judge his unmade bed. “I’ve been pampered enough. Levi wouldn't leave my side since I got back, and he also lectured me.” You stroke your chin and continue, “It’s good he doesn’t know why Reiner kidnapped me.”

“Why did he take you?” Jean probed.

You drop your hand to your side, and look at Jean over your shoulder and don’t answer with the full truth. “Cause he said they could use me in his hometown,” you shrug, “whatever that means.”

“Or was it because he’s obsessed?” Jean snapped bitterly.

You slowly turn on your heels to face him, but avoid his stare. “It doesn’t matter,” you deadpan. “He’s gone and he didn’t get what he wanted. None of that matters anymore.” You draw in a deep breath and feel your exhale tremble with emotions the subject quickly brought up, but you made sure to hide it all before Jean could pick up on it. You hadn’t let yourself think much of it. You knew it wasn’t ideal, you knew you were going to crack eventually and feel it all at once, but you didn’t want to face those feelings yet. You were just letting the pressure build. Unfortunately so.

“And how are you feeling about that?” Jean asks what you knew he’s been dying to know.

You shrug and clench onto your book. “I’m over it.” You offer him an assuring smile he doesn’t believe. “I’m fine—”

“Y/N,” he cuts you off, sounding a bit more demanding, “tell me.”

“Jean, I’m fine.” You insist and tug your smile wider. “Really. Now let’s go get breakfast, or what’s leftover.”

Jean stands in the middle of the room as he watches you walk to the door. He wants to press on the matter, but he also doesn't know how to really ask you of your feelings. So he lets it go. Even if he regrets it.

“Also,” you continue with a genuine grin as you wait for him to join you outside of the room. “Can we talk about how impressive it was when you swooped in to save Mikasa? I mean wow, you should be proud! I mean, I am.” You smirk and nudge his elbow once he falls beside you. “This might be the moment where she finally talks to you.”

“Heh,” he feigns a laugh. “Sure.” His eyes drift to your face and he can’t help but smile as he catches yours.

*1 WEEK LATER*

“In the past I've done things. Bad things that are irredeemable. Things that I’m ashamed of.”—“I guess I wanted to know,” he exhales deeply, “if you’d hate me if I told you what I’ve done. If you’d forgive me?”

It all made sense now. You understood the meaning behind Reiners words that played on a constant loop in your head, your own naiveness in that moment made you nauseous now. The memory of kissing him, of feeling butterflies every time he was close, or walked into a room made you feel disgusted. Not in him, but in yourself.

You wanted to forget, tear the memory of him from your brain and poison every happy piece of memory with the truth of what he was, but one week wasn't going to do that. Perhaps no measure of time was going to cure all the dreadful feelings that plagued your heart and mind. Keeping yourself from crying wasn’t as hard as trying to forget, but it was still a chore, you’ve managed to stop crying every time you were alone, but you still did so at night under your covers, and sometimes when the feelings got too heavy for you to carry, you had to escape to your own space. Like now.

The night was chilly, the skies were clear and showing off the beauty of the shining stars, but bitter and annoying wind gusted past your balled up body on top of the castle's walls. The tears that rolled down the curve of your cheeks were swept away by the gusts of wind that broke through the material of your sweater's hood to howl in your ears. You could also hear other sounds that accompanied the nighttime besides the wind, like crickets chirping on the ground, and leaves from the trees flapping about while everything else fell asleep to wait for the break of dawn. The only sound that stood out and you picked up on was the creak of the door as someone pushed it open.

You debated looking back, you didn’t want to talk to anyone right now, but your curiosity got the best of you and you carefully peeked your eyes over your shoulder to spot that Jean had been the culprit of breaking the silence of the night. He didn’t say anything, he stepped past the door and let it close behind him. You could see his eyes try to find your face under your hood, but you turned your head before he could see your tears and puffy red eyes. And since he didn’t say a word, you broke his silence. “I saw him ride in, I’ll talk to him later.”

The sound of Jean’s lips parting sounded in your ears, but he still couldn’t find words. He just knew right away that the usual chirpy demeanor you carried wasn’t present; you didn’t greet him with a smile, a witty joke, or a stupid nickname. He even noticed how you were sitting, it was something that would pass by him before, but now as he saw you hugging your knees and resting your chin on your kneecaps, it clicked that you did this when you were upset. Seeing you like you were, made him want to speak up, but he couldn’t figure out what exactly to say. Or really he didn’t know what to say. All he thought of doing was joining you on top of the castle wall.

Albeit once you heard him sit beside you, you turned your head and looked the other way to hide your eyes. “Do you need something?” You mutter.

“I noticed you missed dinner,” he finally managed to speak as he handed you an apple.

You take the apple off his hands before you shrug and clear your throat. “I wasn't hungry.” You sigh and try to push him away to be alone again. “I’ll be inside in a minute.”

Jean glances at the ground below, noticing it was a far distance from where you both were. He couldn’t help but wonder how you found sitting up here so comforting, with one look down he already felt his stomach churn. Yet he didn’t move to walk away like you wanted, he scooted closer to you and continued to pester you. “What are you doing up here all alone?”

“Looking at the stars,” you mumble, your eyes definitely not even getting a glimpse of the sky.

“Oh? Well you know the stars are in the sky, right? Not on the wall.” Jean said, mustering an airy laugh that made you turn your head to look ahead instead.

And with your hood on Jean couldn’t tell if your eyes were lifted, but it did give him the chance to lean in and grab your chin to turn your head so you would be facing him instead. That’s when he took note of what you wanted to hide. He saw the tear streaks on your face, your red gleaming eyes and the sad frown on your lips. Knowing he noticed made you want to cry more—stupid—you thought whilst you shoved his hand away and looked away again.

“What’s wrong?” He instantly asked in a more firm voice.

“Nothing,” your voice quivers. You put the apple away in your hoodie pocket to rest your chin on your knees, whilst you bite the inside of your cheeks for a brief moment to fight the need to cry at the simple yet meaningful question. You had to close your eyes, but that just made the tears roll down. “I’ll be in a minute.” You insist. But he doesn’t move, he stays quiet. And even if his stubbornness made you angry, you were glad he didn’t listen. It lets you open your eyes and finally lift your head after a couple of quiet minutes to ask a question. Or at least the beginnings of one. “Jean, you said you’d be honest with me right?” You sniffle and let your eyes drag to the corner to see him already looking at you.

He nods, “right.”

“Well,” you swallow thickly, “then please be honest. Do you think I’m strong?”

Jean blinks and his eyebrows furrow to express confusion and concern to the vulnerability in your voice and face. It made him answer with a stupid answer instead of with the truth that he already had in his head. “What?”

You hook your fingers together and look away from him to clarify what you thought was clear. “Do you honestly think I’m strong? I asked Levi, y’know, but well of course he’s going to answer with what I want to hear, he raised me. So please be honest with me.” You draw out a shaky breath before looking at him again to finish your sentence. “Don’t lie.”

Jean nods and parts his lips to assure you with the truth in a tone of voice that was soft at first. It sounded weird to hear him speak like that….yet you couldn’t help but like it. “Of course. I mean,” his eyes widened with excitement. “You’re just like Captain Levi and Mikasa. Somehow. So yeah I think you are strong.” He wanted to add a lighthearted and joking comment but he saved it for later instead.

Nonetheless you still scoff and look away from him. So maybe he should’ve added the joke—“if I was like them, I would’ve done what was right, I would’ve known that Reiner and Bertholdt were our enemies all along.” You began to rant with anger seeping through your voice the more you continued. “We could’ve avoided all those deaths. Erwin wouldn’t have lost his arm if I was strong. But I’m not. Because even if I’m physically strong, I’m actually weak. I’ve always been. I mean,” you huff out with frustration. “I couldn’t even fathom the thought that they were traitors even if that’s what I was sent to do. And I should've known,” you scoff. “I mean…” you pause and shake your head. “I was close to Reiner. He said stuff that should’ve stood out. But it didn’t because I trusted him.”

“So what?” Jean quieres after, “you’re weak because you trusted people?”

You turn your head and meet his gaze to answer, but before you could agree he continued. “You’re weak because you’re kind?” Jean doesn’t let you answer, he exhales deeply and holds your gaze, his own voice expressing frustration and a hint of sadness. “They were our friends, and you liked Reiner as more than…one. I don’t think that makes you weak. Caring doesn’t make you weak. I,” he pauses and swallows thickly. Through the light of the stars above, you saw his cheeks turn pink, you didn’t know why, but they did. And instead of continuing with that comment, he flickered his eyes away and smoothly changed the subject. “If you think that makes you weak, then we all are because we all trusted them. But you’re not weak, I mean,” he smiles and slides his eyes over to meet yours, “you risked your own life to help me when I was unconscious.”

Your lips tug into a faint smile and you shake your head to add onto his comment. “I think that qualifies me as brave.”

“Stupid actually,” he scoffs lightheartedly, his smile tugging wider. “You’re strong because after all the people you’ve lost, you keep fighting. After all that’s happened in the past couple of months, you’ve remained yourself, you still have a smile on your face…” he pauses again and once more changes the subject as smoothly as possible. Hiding what he really wanted to say. “You’re strong. And I don’t say that about everyone, so cherish it.”

You giggle, and share a lingering gaze and a sweet smile, before you let go of your knees and let your legs slide down to let them hang them over the edge. You leaned in towards him and caused him to blush harder because of how close you were. You were oblivious to it, but he definitely noticed how close your face was to his. He even grew rigid and nervous. But again you didn’t notice. Instead you proceeded to make him more so with your question. “Jean, can I hug you?”

Said guy nods without hesitance, his blush blazing brighter but luckily not pointed out as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he slowly peeled his arms away from his side to wrap one arm under your arms, and the other one around your shoulders.

It took a couple of seconds for either of you to find the embrace comfortable, it was just such a weird gesture from either of you. Yes, you were best friends, but physical comfort never went this far, if you ever needed comfort like this, you always had Marco. Plus Jean was a bit prideful so he never accepted comfort, or actually showed his emotions to anyone. Sure he got frustrated, but he never let people see him be down, not until the funeral pyres, even then you both comforted each other with half hugs. And it was fine, neither of you minded it, but that was the reason why it felt so weird being so close to one another, so stiff.

At first of course. Because as strange as it felt for the first few seconds, now it felt…nice. So nice. It felt amazing, like you could be in his arms for hours. His body radiated a warmth that engulfed your entire body as he pressed you closer. It felt so comforting, and safe; the way an arm wrapped under your arms with his hand gently balling the material of your shirt, while the other arm stayed wrapped around your shoulders and his hand slowly slid to the back of your neck and the pad of his thumb gently caressed the skin.

His hands also felt soft and not rough and dry. He also smelled nice. Being in his hold made you wonder why you’ve never done this before, sure Marco gave good hugs, but they didn’t compare to this one. It felt as if you both were in much need of each other’s comfort because you even felt him relax into your embrace. He was hesitant at first, you felt that by the way he had felt so stiff at first, but after a few seconds you felt his whole body just completely give in, you even heard him sigh out as if all the weight had been lifted from his body.

Neither of you wanted to let go.

“Thank you,” you broke the comfortable silence. “For saving me and for being honest with me.”

“Thank you for helping me,” he interjected softly, “I didn’t tell you before, but thank you.”

“Always.” You grin, “I’ll always help you. I can’t lose you too.”

Jean’s breath hitches and his hold around you tightens. There's a slight tension that you did feel, so you were quick to break it before it got thicker. “Also, your hands are very soft.”

He huffs out, “thanks?”

You smirk. “It almost feels as if you haven’t worked a day in your life.”

At that comment Jean instantly pulls away from the hug, placing his hands on your shoulders and pulling his head back as he scoffs out offended and bewildered. “Excuse me?! What did you just say nerd?”

You shrug innocently. “That your hands are soft?”

“What about your hands?” He argues as his eyes narrow on you.

Your grin proudly and you pull out your hands in front of the both of you to slowly turn them so he could see both sides. “Egg yolks, oatmeal and raw honey work. I use them all the time.”

Jean drops his hands from your shoulders and a smug grin of his own grows on his face. “Well I,” he points to his chest, “unlike other guys, I actually know what self care is.”

“Is that so?” You snicker while you swing your legs over the wall and slide down to the land on the stone floor.

“Obviously,” Jean puffs his chest out, “it’s what makes me a great guy.”

You look at him over your shoulder and express a teasing laugh as you watch him also land on the floor behind you. He falls by your side and just rolls his eyes at your teasing laugh. And before he could add a remark, your laugh dies down and your grin falls to a faint smile as you bring up something you had in mind to tell him. “I wanted to ask if you wanted to come with me tomorrow to where Marco and I would hangout. I just made him something, and it’s going to be our last day here tomorrow and I don’t know when we’ll return so I just want to do something small.”

“Oh,” Jean’s own smile falls. “Yeah,” he nods in agreement. “I’ll go with you.”

“Good,” you smile softly, “I've been meaning to go for sometime, but I couldn’t muster the courage until now.” You turn to walk back inside, but before you do something else comes up. “Oh and bring extra clothes, we’re doing something after.”

“What?” He inquired curiously.

“It’s a surprise.” You finally continue with your path back inside, but before you could open the door Eren does so first.

“Y/N, Captain Levi is,” Eren pauses and his eyes narrow on your face, making his comment change. “Are you crying?” He snaps his eyes to Jean and his gaze turns to a raging glare. “What did you do to her, Jean?!”

Jean scoffs, “nothing! Why would you assume that?!”

You walk past Eren and leave both boys to talk amongst themselves with a soft and happy smile on your face.

——

“When you said we were coming here, I thought it was just going to be the two of us.” Jean whispers in your ear as he glares at all of your closests friends following behind you.

Your eyebrows pinch together while you turn to look at Jean with your lips pursed together. “They were all Marco's friends too Jean.” You smile and look at Eren, Mikasa, Armin, Connie, Sasha, and at Historia slowly lagging behind the group. “He would’ve loved the company.” You shift your eyes back to Jean and narrow your gaze on him as he rolls his head to look back ahead in annoyance. “You’ve been acting weird lately, Jean. Are you sure you’re okay?” You point out, noticing that the question made his shoulders stiff and his eyes wide.

Said guy doesn’t meet your gaze and just nods before looking away and asking you a question that the breeze carried out. “We almost there?”

You look ahead and spot the big green tree that poked out of the tall green grass that you were walking through, you had spotted it for a mile now and the farther you got, the more you knew you were close; you could hear the running lake that the tree was rooted by, and the familiar sound made you want to run forward like you had done many times before. But you waited and just picked up your pace, having to look over your shoulder as Armin nervously spoke up.

“Y/N, you asked for permission to come out here, right?”

Your lips tug to a smirk and you throw a thumbs up that doesn’t reassure the boy whatsoever. “Of course,” you continue to assure him. “I wouldn't leave without permission.”

“Then why did we leave so early?” Mikasa quiered.

“Because,” you smile sweetly, “we need to enjoy the full day before we have to go into hiding. Trust me I saw the to-do list on Levi’s desk, we’re going to need this.”

“To-do list?” Sasha probed with concern.

Eren looked back at her and said what you were going to respond with. “Welcome to the Levi squad, besides fighting Titans we’re also a cleaning unit. You’ll have fun.”

“Loads of it,” you snicker as you look back ahead and notice that you were now out of the grass field and seeing the big tree, and blue gleaming lake for the first time in three years. The sight of something so meaningful to you made your smile fall to a frown, and brought tears to your eyes. You stopped in your tracks not seconds after your eyes fell on the scene ahead, and everyone else stopped behind you. Nobody pushed you to move forward, they let you reminisce on the memories that began to surface in your head.

They were all so sweet and nostalgic now. They were heartbreaking knowing that the boy you had met here would no longer be able to come back again like he said he would. You would no longer hear his laugh that echoed quietly with the memories that played in your head, you would no longer see his smile every time he came here to enjoy the sun, or the refreshing lake on a hot summer day. Marco was gone and he would no longer be able to draw out what you both found in your field journals, he wouldn’t be here to talk to you anymore. He was gone and all you had were memories of him. Old memories that wouldn’t be replaced by new ones.

“Come on,” you say to everyone as you walk towards the tree, stopping just in front of its trunk to smile softly at the names that were carved on the bark. Tears wanted to break through, but you held them back while you felt the carving of Marcos name under your fingertips as you gently ran your hand over it. Your name was carved out besides his and you couldn’t help but notice that they seemed to be carved a lot lower than you remembered.

“Marco, you came!” The memory of your voice played.

“Of course!” You remembered him smile as he saw you hang down from the tree branch. “I’ll always come.”

Your smile wobbled at the playing memory, but before you could let yourself cry you slid the bag strap off your shoulder, and opened the flap to pull out a small headstone. You followed by kneeling down on the grass, and placing the headstone on the ground beside you to begin digging a small crater on the ground; not caring that your pants or your hands were going to get dirty. And at first you were doing the task alone, but soon thereafter Eren knelt down beside you and helped you as Jean’s concentration got lost on the carving of Marcos name.

Digging the hole didn’t take long since it wasn’t deep, the hardest part was finally placing the small headstone down and tucking it in its place. The hardest part of this was reading the words you had struggled to carve on the small headstone that read; “May you always Rest In Peace Marco Bodt. A beloved Son, Brother, Friend and Soldier.”—however, even then you refused to cry. Instead you smiled softly as you placed down a partially bloomed yellow rose that was surrounded by white lilies.

Before you stood up to let the others place what they had brought, you kiss the tip of your fingers and gently press them on the headstone and linger on the ground a bit longer. “You’ll always be special to me my beloved friend,” you whisper before you push yourself to your feet, feeling Jean’s hand fall on your shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. You looked at him and smiled, lifting your own hand to cup his before you shifted your gaze to watch the rest of your friends place flowers, or personal items that they brought to place on Marcos grave. The only person that was left to place something down was Jean, you didn’t expect him to, if he wanted to, or if he didn’t, then it was his choice, he was here that's all that mattered.

What he did end up doing however, was walk towards it and crouch down to carefully stroke his hand over the headstone, he stayed like that for a couple of minutes before he stood back up and fell by your side again. After that a long silence was shared for Marco, where all there was to hear was the running lake beside the tree, the birds singing in the distance and the gentle breeze swirling in the sky. The silence lasted for a while after, before you quietly broke it. “Thank you all for coming,” you smile sadly as you step back to face them all. “I appreciate it and I know he would too.” Your sad smile turns to a small grin and you take another step back. “Now there are some things we still have to do before we have to head back, so let’s go!” You walk past the group and the tree to trudge on ahead towards your last destination.

“Where exactly are we going?” Connie asks for the rest of the group. “You’ve been cagey about it. And I know I joke around with you, but it’s all lighthearted fun, okay? So please don’t hurt me.”

You look at him over your shoulder and shoot him a pointed gaze before you look back ahead and finally announce where you were taking them. “We’re going to a waterhole close by. It’s a place where I and some of the veteran Scouts like Miche, Hange, Moblit, Nanaba and others would come on their days off. It’s very fun.”

The walk lasted a bit longer since your destination wasn’t far from where the tree was, and instead of walking in silence this time, small conversations were had behind you, you could hear your friends laugh and joke around as they followed you, even Historia as quiet as she had been was heard speaking to Mikasa. Even Jean and Eren were having a civil talk amongst themselves for once. All while you walked in a peaceful silence, and with a small smile on your face as you enjoyed the warm beams of sun hitting your skin, and heard birds chirping on the trees that you saw coming ahead.

When you walked through the small patch of woods that had the waterhole at the end of its treeline, you saw a fallen down tree and you jumped on the log and walked on it, stretching out your hands at your sides to better balance yourself on top as you looked overhead to see more birds singing up on the trees all around you. You would have kept distracted at the sight of the birds, but the sound of Sasha shouting out help, and Eren and Jean silently arguing pulled your attention to the scene happening behind you. And as expected it was a disaster, Sasha and Connie were holding each other to try and not to fall, whilst Armin took Mikasa down to the ground with him, as expected Eren and Jean were trying to race each other and trying to push each other off, but they both ended up falling, and the only one who made it across and landed perfectly by your side was Historia.

You smacked your lips and turned your head to share a teasing look with Historia before you both shared a smile and turned to walk off without them. “It’s just down this path,” you told her as you guided her, and the rest of the group catching up behind you, down a marked path. And once you finally reached the end of the treeline there it was, a beautiful blue waterhole; it wasn’t that big nor deep which made it perfect to swim in. Which also reminded you, “you guys know how to swim right?” You ask as you turn to look at the group.

They all nod and Jean steps forward to interrogate you. “Do you know how to swim?”

“Of course,” you scoff as you flash him a smug grin before you turn to walk to a poorly made shed just feet away from a man-made ramp, built down the slope that led to the water. “Hange taught me.” You finish sharing with him whilst you enter the shed and come back out with four wooden boards. “There aren't enough boards for everyone so we have to pair up.” You throw them all except for one down on the ground, proceeding to throw your bag to the side to begin kicking off your shoes, and pull your socks off before you take off your clothes and strip to the swimsuit you had underneath. When you return your gaze to the group you see them do the same, and catch Jean tearing his eyes away from you before you caught him. Luckily for him.

And with partners in mind, you consider Eren just because you knew how competitive he could be, but as you step towards him Jean blocks your path. “We can go down together.”

“Ah,” you smile nervously as your eyes fall on his toned abs and chest for a second—that’s impressive…wow. I've never seen him without a shirt on. Wow—you catch yourself thinking to yourself before you quickly blink to meet his gaze, “I was going to,” you pause and look beside him to catch Armin had beat you to Eren, your eyes shift Mikasa for better speed down the ramp, but Historia got to her first, so you had no choice. “Fine,” you breathe out as you pull the board closer to you and walk towards the top of the ramp. “I would come here with Marco and the rest of the veteran Scouts on the hot days to race down the ramps, or simply have fun.” You grin as you reminisce about the memories and turn to face your friends who were listening behind you. “It was fun just like mud sledding.”

“Mud sledding?” Armin quieres.

“Hmm,” you nod, “in the rainy season we would go to this hill not far from the grounds and slide down them.” You scratch the back of your head and sigh as you remember the worst part. “Albeit having to wash outside wasn’t fun, but Levi would get mad otherwise.”

“Let’s do it sometime!” Eren beams.

Your grin widens and you nod excitedly before you continue by placing the board on top of the ramp, and holding it in place with your foot. “Who wants to go first?” You ask, but see no volunteers, instead they urge you to go first after they take a step back. “Fine,” you groan—it’s not like we’re going to die—you look at Jean over your shoulder and smirk. “You trust me right?”

Said guy narrows his eyes on you and lingers in silence for a moment before he sighs out and nods. “Do I have a choice?”

“Nope.” You beam as you sit down on the board and then catch Jean standing still beside you. “What?” You question as you look up to him.

“I want to be in front,” he complains.

Your face twists into an annoyed expression and you scoff before you rebuttal his comment. “Have you done this before?” You don’t let him answer and do so for him. “No, so stop being a man about it and sit behind me.”

“Fine,” Jean grumbles as he hides his blush and does as you say, being hesitant as he wraps his hands around your waist.

“Okay, ready?” You ask happily.

Jean exhales deeply, looking at the water over your shoulder and noticing now how high the ramp was from water, how poorly it was built and how long it all seemed. He doubted this activity after he let his worry surface, but he trusted you so he nodded in agreement. After all, if you said Marco did this, then he could too. “I guess so.” He agreed.

“Okay then!” You beam happily as you tighten your hold on the board and take one last look at Jean. “Hold on!” And before he could back down, you use your legs to push yourselves down, feeling Jean’s hold tighten and your heart race as the adrenaline kicks through your blood. To gain more momentum as you slide down the ramp, you run your feet on the ramp and only throw them out forward once the ramp flies off into the air.

“You’re crazy!” Jean bellows after the board shoots off into the air.

You look behind you and smirk. “That’s exactly what Marco said the first time!” You look back ahead and in that second of time that you were in the middle of the air, just above the water, time seemed to slow down. When you roamed your eyes over the scenery around you, everything seemed much more beautiful, the sky seemed more blue, the sun shone a brighter and a more fierce yellow, and the waterhole appeared to shine like a blue crystal. The wind that rushed past your face while you were out in the middle of the air felt refreshing and freeing. For that slowed down second all the bad things that had happened in the past disappeared, and you were filled with overwhelming joy.

Through all the rush there in the sky, beside you, you caught sight of a beautiful blue butterfly flying overhead. The sight of its flapping wings brought a bigger and brighter smile to your features. You tried to reach for it, but before you could touch it, gravity pulled the board down and the rushing feeling returned time back to normal. And before you could hit the water you let out a happy scream before you pushed yourself off the board to cannonball in the water.

A couple seconds after your dive, you opened your eyes under the water to take in the sight of the deep blue water that surrounded you, catching Jean still under with his eyes squeezed closed, his cheeks blown out like a chipmunks holding in their nuts, and his fingers pinching his nose to hold in his breath while the other hand flapped around. It was a funny sight that made you huff out an admiring smile before you swam towards him and carefully grabbed his face, the feeling of your hands on his cheeks making him peel his eyes open but remain stiff as he stayed under. You shot him a wider and assuring smile and his brown eyes only widened as he held your gaze. You couldn't tell what emotions ran through him, but you did notice that he faintly mirrored your smile before he grabbed your arms and pulled you up to the surface.

“See,” you breathe out as you pull your hands away and run them down your face to wipe the water off your face and eyes. “Not bad.”

He wipes the water off his face before meeting your gaze and nodding. “No you’re right. Terrifying.” He says sarcastically.

You laugh and shake your head before you turn to look up and notice that your friends had been watching and waiting for both Jean and you to resurface. After they got their confirmation their figures disappeared and not seconds later Sasha and Connie came rushing down, both screaming at the top of their lungs and sloppily splashing into the water. After them followed Historia who switched partners and was now with Armin, and as expected she was in the front with a big happy grin on her face before she dove into the water and resurfaced with the same child-like grin; because she just like you forgot the pain from the week before, it might just be for the day, but she let herself enjoy the moment with you and her friends.

“That was so much fun!” She shouted as she threw her arms up in the air and splashed water at Armin and Sasha beside her. “I want to do it again!”

Lastly Eren and Mikasa rushed down the ramp, and even if Mikasa shouldn’t be doing this because of her injury, she tightly held onto Eren as he sat in front. And as much of a brave and strong person as she was in the field, here, as she and Eren rushed down, her eyes were closed, and she pressed her face on his back and had her arms wrapped around his neck. They both had smiles on their faces, with Eren having the bigger grin before they splashed into the water and resurfaced with her.

No matter what had happened before, no matter the pain you all were going through, today, spending time with each other in the water, took away from that and brought an overwhelming happiness to everyone. Everyone was making new memories that would stay with them forever.

“Having fun?”

You look to your side and notice Jean walking up beside you. You nod whilst you rub your hands together to try and get them warmer as the cold water on your body makes you tremble. “Yeah I am, are you?”

Jean wraps a towel around your shoulders before he sits beside you on the log. He nods and follows your line of vision to watch Eren, trying to pull Connie down into the water from their partners shoulders as they play their water game Sasha suggested—“I have to admit, you know how to turn a day fun. At first I thought this was going to be a disaster.”

“Ahaha!” Connie laughs evilly after Eren loses and splashes in the water.

You side eye Jean and express a feigned laugh. “Haha. Always so kind Kirstein.” You return your gaze to the group in the water and hug the towel tighter around your body. “Even if my nose is always in my books, I can be fun, okay? It’s just another one of my good traits.” You look at him and flash him a mocking smile whilst you touch your chest. “It’s what makes me such a great girl.”

Jean's eyes fall on you, and he rolls them as he shakes his head and lightly pushes you to the side, and making you genuinely laugh. After a couple of minutes it dies down and you sit closer beside him to once again look out at your friends in the water with a happy smile on your face.

“Marco would’ve loved this,” Jean muses.

“Yeah,” you assure him in a whisper. “He would’ve.”

Jean's eyes flicker away from your friends and he steals a longing glance at you. He thinks you would be too busy watching Sasha wrestle with Historia that you wouldn't notice, after all he’s never had it happen, but this time it was different, you didn’t catch him staring because he was swift to look away, but you did turn to steal a glance at him. And knowing that, noticing your eyes on him made him smile because you did look back at him. He didn’t know if you knew of his feelings that he’s failed to keep discreet, but he was happy that you looked back at him. It made his heart flutter, and fill with hope that he wasn’t filled with before.

Maybe this time he would get the girl, maybe this time it would be different. And he knew you needed time after what happened with Reiner, but that didn’t bother him, he’d be patient for you. He’d wait. He just hoped that none of the upcoming tragedy, that all these problems you all were going to face wasn’t going to get in the way of that.

Hopefully not.

.

.

.

A/N- let’s hope our jean-boy gets what he wants and gets the girl this time 🤞🏽 let’s hope.

Tagged- @expectoscamander , @greenygreenland , @that-soft-lesbian-friend , @dai-tsukki-desu , @usernamehere91 , @avocadopoosae , @romancried , @victor-criss-bish @moo-moo-meadow

[etheraella]

Lies Between Ties || Part I ||

(Draco Malfoy x Fem!Reader)

Summary : Y/N and Draco caught themselves in an arranged marriage by their parents, they both try and act like a happy married couple infront of their families, when in reality they made an agreement to not cross each other’s space and treat each other as ‘roommates’. What happens when one unknowingly gains feelings?

Warnings : No War/Voldemort!AU, Arranged Marriage, Slowburn, Unrequited Love (?), Angst, Arguing, slight cursing.

Your eyes widen in shock, not believing what the woman you respected all your life had just said. You scoffed in disbelief as your mother puts her welcoming hand on yours in comfort. "Very funny, Mama."

She frowned, holding back a smile. "Y/N, this is not a joke, I think it's for the best if you marry him, Narcissa-"

"I know she's your friend, Mama. But I don't even know him, we've never exchanged a conversation, and it's best if we keep it that way." You got up ready to leave the conversation. Unfortunately, your mother grabbed your wrist softly before you could do so.

"Y/N please, the Malfoys can give you the life I could never give you, and I'm getting older, sooner or later when I'm gone, somebody is going to have and help me look after you. At least with the Malfoys’ I know you'd be in good hands." She confessed with sadness in her voice, the grip on your wrist getting firmer.

"Please don't say that, ma. I would want to get married but not anytime soon. I've only just graduated Hogwarts, and who's going to take care of you?"

"Your stepfather is retiring soon, we'll just be here at home and you can come visit us after you and Draco have settled,"

You squinted the moment Draco's name left your mothers lips. Sure, the two have never said a word to each other, but he was known for his boastful and rich background. Everyone in Hogwarts would've known the Slytherin Prince. Though, that never interest you. He probably never knew who you were anyway.

"I never said I agreed to it." you finally said not meeting her gaze.

"Francis and I have already agreed to the Malfoys, dear. The wedding is to be held in 3 months, please Y/N for the sake of mine, you'll learn to accept Draco and there's no doubt the two of you will be happy together." She smiled kissing your forehead lovingly before getting up to leave.

“but with what certainty?”

the words were in a whisper that were only heard by you.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

The sound of birds chirping and peaceful leaves rustling filled your ears. Memories of the conversation filled your head. Out of everyone in the whole world, why Draco Malfoy? What does he think of this ridiculous arrangement? With less than 2 months, the two of you have never met since you saw him back at Hogwarts, and tonight would be the first time the two of you would meet after the marriage conversation. Just then you heard the sound of footsteps and your mother appeared in the doorway.

"Come inside and get ready, dear."

That night, you sat opposite of Draco for dinner, you daren't lift your gaze to meet his. You knew the moment he entered your living room with a boring expression that he wasn't excited or fond on meeting you, or to even be wed to you. Well, so were you.

"Y/N, why don't you have a walk with Draco by the lake?" your mother says suddenly, smiling brightly between you and Draco.

"Yes, Mama" you say politely returning a fake smile, trying your best to hide your annoyance.

You walk with Draco in silence and you open your mouth every now and then trying to start a conversation. You didn’t realise the difference in your heights until you were side by side, Draco Malfoy was taller and much broader than you remember.

"Malfoy-"

Draco stops, meeting your eyes before averting his gaze to the lake on his left.

"I’m not sure It’s wise to use surnames considering the situation we're in.”

Taken aback, you were surprised he was even suggesting this, the Draco Malfoy in front of you seemed more mature than the Malfoy you knew of in school.

"And what situation do you take this as?"

"- A situation that shouldn't happen in the first place. If you only hadn't agreed to it."

You couldn't believe your ears at his absurd accusation. His voice calm but firm at the same time, looking at you as if you're something a cat dragged in.

"Me? You think I want to marry you?" You gave a short laugh. "Your parents sent the proposal first and you blame this on me? For Godric's sake, I don't even know you nor do I have any feelings for you. I'm only following my mother's desires, Draco Malfoy."

"I can guarantee you, the feeling’s mutual." he said through gritted teeth followed by an awkward silence as two of you continue your walk. You stared at your shoes with each step, trying to think of a sentence that will make him help you cancel the wedding. You couldn't bare marrying someone you don't love, especially someone with a big ego like Draco’s. No, never in a million years.

"Mal- Draco, I didn’t intend to ask you upon this favour, as we both know how ridiculous this arrangement is. Please convince Narcissa and Lucius to call it off. It's not too late, considering you're a man-"

"As much as I would love that, Y/N. I would never want to break my mother's heart, I don't bloody care if you call it off, it's perfectly fine with me. We'll discuss this again after the wedding." He said, rolling his eyes and walking back to the house leaving you alone.

You blink in shock, your eyes following his walking figure, his silver blond hair visible under the moonlight. That bastard! Why would he think it's any better after the wedding? Sighing in disappointment, you slumped on the bench facing the lake, the darkness of the night swallowing you.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

"You are to be MARRIED to Draco?" Jane's eyes widen in shock, she stood up facing you, her pupils searching for yours trying to find mischief. To her prevail, you were dead serious and that got her sitting back on the chair slowly.

"But - I thought you wanted to be a healer-"

"I do, I can be a healer while married. I wouldn't need permission to pursue my dream career, would I?" You sighed, staring at the wand in your hand. Jane has been your best friend ever since the two of you got sorted in the same house back in Hogwarts. You wanted her to be your bridesmaid. Knowing how grand the Malfoy's are, it makes sense how big they want this wedding to be, considering Draco's the only Malfoy heir. You didn't know what to think of it, ever since you were a child, you had always dreamt of how you wanted your wedding to be, you didn't mind how the reception would look, how flowy your dress would be, as long as it's with friends and relatives, and a person you're in love with.

Jane was silent for several seconds. "Oh Y/N...but Draco Malfoy?"

"YES JANE! What other Dracos do you know of?" You roll your eyes in irritation, hating the fact of being reminded of marrying a bloke like him. Jane sighed and looked at you with sympathy,

“But, I’m afraid your mother’s right.. there’s no denying the Malfoys are rich-“

You snorted. “richly arrogant”

The silver band on your ring finger brimmed. The mere thought of you being engaged was still unbelievable, so is the oncoming wedding. Feeling frustrated, you terribly wanted to pull your hair out.

“Jane, I have an idea.. perhaps on the wedding day, you could wear a long veil and take my place instead-“ You randomly suggest.

“Y/N Y/L/N, Are you mad? We both know your absurd schemes are never going to work,” Jane smiled sadly, gripping your hand in hers.

You sighed in disappointment, praying deep down the wedding would be disastrous or a random fire would begin before the vows, yes, it was a childishly dangerous thought but you were willing to escape this arrangement without hurting your mother’s feelings.

━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━

On the wedding day, of course the unfortunate events you hoped for didn’t occur. You weren’t as devastated as you thought you would be when you woke up that morning, wrapping sheets of mattress around yourself. It could be that you were finally accepting your fate, you groaned at the thought. In 24 hours, you would be ‘Mrs. Malfoy’, how grand.

The dress that was altered for you was beautiful, you couldn’t take your eyes off it. The white material felt light and gorgeous under your fingertips. Jane had repeatedly told you how breath-taking you looked, you didn’t deny that.

Before the event began, Narcissa had come in your dressing room with an amber green leathered box. Seeing your future mother in-law made you awfully nervous, even if you weren’t whole heartedly willing to marry her son. You quickly pushed the guilt away when she cupped your hands in hers.

“Oh Merlin, you look lovely Y/N,” She said with a smile before opening the box, revealing a heavenly beautiful bracelet the Malfoy initials carved in golden. You let Narcissa gently put it on you telling you of the Malfoy heirloom’s history. The bracelet was given to wear on special occasions, the heirloom given down to each heir on the wedding day.

The piano started playing as you entered the hall, guests arise to their feet, staring at you in awe. Your mother stood at the end of the hall with Francis; happiness laced with sadness painted on her expressions, seeing her only child in white walking down the aisle. Your eyes wander along the decorations in the hall before landing on Draco. He looked undeniably handsome, his platinum blonde hair neatly combed as always, expression unreadable.

When the rings and vows were exchanged the hall erupted in an applause. You looked up to see Draco looking at you with a fake smile etched on his face, the sounds of cheering suddenly muted. It was all an act, you remind yourself.

.

.

A/N : —Luna here ! I decided to start a series ;) and..a special appreciation to Celeste for being my trusty editor !! If you enjoy this please reblog/share 👉🏼👈🏼🥺. We made a taglist form that can be found on our bio and here [x].

Taglist 🏷 : @amourtentiaa

[teklarn]

𝔂𝓸𝓾'𝓻𝓮 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓶𝔂 𝓫𝓸𝔂𝓯𝓻𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓭 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 (𝓹𝓽.4)

character(s): katsuki bakugou x gn!reader (x eijirou kirishima) 

a/n: y’all it makes me so happy how many people like my work oh my gosh i’m so motivated when enthusiasm shows tytyty <33 

𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕 !!

summary: bakugou x gn!reader. they have feelings for one another but have no idea how to express them, however y/n has someone pining for their attention. 

genre: angst 

warnings: mutual pining, cussing, aged-up to third years, love triangle, romantic tension, one-sided pining, jealousy, toxic kirishima (ok but like he’s hot tho), slowburn romance, not proofread 

word count: 2423

- - -

part 3 , part 5

you twiddled your thumbs in front of the poster. a halloween party? next month? it’d come as a surprise how fast the holiday was coming up. 

your stomach filled with butterflies, however, it sunk when you remembered what had happened last night. 

the little fight you had with kirishima. how it seemed like he suddenly hated bakugou, who was one of his best friends. you didn’t want to believe that kirishima could have had feelings for you. perhaps he was just protecting you. 

you sighed. you truly didn’t want to fight with either of them. maybe kirishima was right. he did know bakugou better than you, but to your knowledge, bakugou had never had a relationship. 

maybe kirishima was trying to say that bakugou would be toxic in the sense that he would never pay attention to you. perhaps he would be too focused on becoming the number one hero. 

whatever. it didn’t matter now. 

the poster listed that it was going to be a costume party, and dressing up was mandatory. you were good friends with mei hatsume from the support group, so she would be going all-out for the season. you wondered if she’d be able to whip something up for you, too. 

you had a few minutes left before class started, surely she should be available for a little bit of chatter. besides, mei hatsume never turned down a new project. 

turning, you started your way to the support classrooms just to be stopped, come face-to-face with the one person you’d been trying to avoid all day. “i don’t want to talk right now, kirishima,” you snapped. perhaps you were being a bit harsh, but he was the one trying to control you, was he not? 

“then don’t talk, y/n. i’ll talk.” 

you shoved past him, clutching your books to your chest. “no.” 

“just hear me out, okay? last night was...i didn’t mean to seem-” 

“seem what? possessive? rude? like an overprotective, jealous boyfriend?” 

“in no way was i trying to come across as any of those, trust me y/n.” 

you continued on your way to the support classes only to find him standing before you again. You sighed, tightening your grip around your books. “what.” you commanded him, you didn’t ask. 

kirishima let out a sigh of his own, letting his arms fall to his sides. “can we just...talk? we’re friends, and we’ve always communicated well with each other.” 

“communication was out of the question yesterday, wasn’t it?” you attempted shoving him away to continue on your way, but he caught your shoulder, finger pads digging into your skin possessively. 

“please, y/n.” 

you looked down your nose at him. “fine. say what you so badly want to get out.” 

“listen, i-” 

the bell rang, and students went rushing back into their classrooms. you shrugged, victorious. “looks like the bell isn’t on your side either, kirishima.” 

you heard him sigh in defeat, but did not look back.

---

there was something about the way kirishima was suddenly looking at you that bakugou didn’t like. at all. his pencil snapped in his grip, chips of wood and led flying into the air. 

speaking of kirishima, what was up with him lately? everything was suddenly about you. he was always around you. sure, throughout the years, you two had gotten closer, but kirishima looked just about ready to abandon bakugou’s ass on the side of the road. 

as usual, aizawa would be a bit late. in about ten minutes, the man would come wandering in, bags hanging low under his eyes, and instruct the lesson before falling back into his much-needed slumber. 

that was when bakugou would interrogate kirishima. but first, he needed to talk to you. needed to be sure he was on the winning side before anything happened between kirishima. 

bakugou walked over to your desk, tugging at your sleeve to get your attention. 

“hm?” you looked up from your notebook. “yes, bakugou? do you need something?” 

“yeah,” he replied, scratching the back of his neck. “you saw the poster too, right? the one about that stupid dance.” 

“well, i don’t think it’s stupid. it looks fun! don’t you think?” 

he drowned himself in your eyes. “mhm.” 

“so, did you still need something?” 

“got any costume ideas in mind?” 

you feigned surprise. “katsuki bakugou? are you saying what i think you’re saying?” 

he licked his lips. gosh, the way his name rolled off your tongue sounded the way honey tasted. “don’t push it.” he grinned. “still considering it.” 

“well, if you’re thinking of going, you definitely should. i’m buying tickets with mina and kaminari if you’d like to tag along.” 

“tag along?” he let out a breathy chuckle. “i’ll be the star of the show if i ‘tag along’, you got me?” 

you gave him a side smile. “mhm. but you do realize how hectic it’s gonna be there, right? i mean, you’ve got to pick something that...pops, y’know?” your fingers sprung out to add emphasis. 

“whether i wear some stupid costume or not, i’m still going to be the star of the show. you got that?”

you knew he was only teasing. if it’d been the bakugou from before, he would have most likely meant it, however, you knew how he openly teased you now. strangely, it was only you who he was so open with. 

bakugou smirked, leaning down to raise your chin with his fingers. “i’ll go if you go.”  

he had your heart pacing rapidly. “mhm.” 

“use your words.” 

“yes, i think i’ll go.” 

“you think?” he taunted. 

“i will go.” you cleared your throat. “bakugou.” 

“good.” his gentle fingers let go of your chin and he wandered back to his desk, eyeing you from there for a moment before flicking open a textbook and reading. 

you diverted your eyes back to your notebook, hands shaking as you wrote down the date. you scribbled down your name three times in the top right corner just to look busy. 

adjusting your elbow, you did your best to make it look like you were merely leaning your cheek on your hand in a bored manner. gosh. you could still feel his eyes burning into you, demanding. serious. gorgeous and blood red. 

kirishima was right about you having feelings for bakugou. however you sat there conflicted for a little while. 

bakugou had just approached you in a similar manner as kirishima. did kirishima..? 

no, you two were only friends. 

you shook your head, still doing your best to conceal the stupid grin crossing your cheeks. 

everyone knew that telling other people if you were just friends with someone after they asked, one person had feelings for the other at least. it was another thing asking yourself that. 

- - - 

it was just a week before the dance, and you still had yet to choose a costume. mina and kaminari had offered you a few of the costumes she’d worn at previous halloween parties, but none had appealed to you. 

you wanted something fresh. wanted something that you’d feel like you would have fun in. 

“wouldn’t dressing up as a pirate be really, i don’t know. i just feel like it’d be super super hot in the gym.” 

mina rolled her eyes. “well duh, you look hot in everything, y/n.” 

you scoffed. “thanks, but i’m not sure about that.” 

“kirishima seems to think so,” kaminari teased from inside the change room. all three of you were currently at a thrift store trying to find matching costumes. 

you rolled your eyes, disregarding the fact he couldn’t see. “don’t bring him up. please.” 

“what happened between you two?” mina asked, slipping the costume back onto its hanger. she slipped it back into its spot on the rack and began sifting through new clothes. “you guys just suddenly stopped talking.” 

you shrugged. “he’s just been...off lately. you know? i don’t know how else to explain it. but ever since that incident where he broke bakugou’s nose-” 

kaminari peaked out from the curtain, jaw dropping. “he broke bakugou’s nose?” 

you waved him off. “yes, now let me finish. kirishima did this thing where he just...he acted all protective in private and then tried to apologize for it the next day. he kept telling me stuff like bakugou wasn’t good for me and everything.” 

mina blinked, jaw dropping to the floor. “honey, what?” 

she and kaminari exchanged shocked glances before she popped a hip out and put her fist to it. 

“bestie, honey. you really are oblivious, aren’t you?” 

you let out an exasperated breath. “he told me that, too! he pinned me to the wall and was like, oh, you’re so oblivious.” you imitated his voice, puffing out your chest to mock his stockiness. 

“baby, baby! do you hear yourself?” mina shook you, taking you by your shoulders. “what the heck? are you blind? he’s down bad for you!” 

“bad? if he had feelings for anyone, not just me, i think kirishima would be a little more considerate.” 

“but it’s bakugou,” kaminari chirped in. “he knows he won’t win if he doesn’t get you now.” 

“please, bakugou doesn’t win at everything.” 

mina raised an eyebrow. “but you already have feelings for bakugou, so technically he’s already winning.” 

you pursed your lips. “i guess, but if kirishima really had romantic feelings for me, he’d be less of an ass about it.” 

“is he going to the dance?” kaminari closed the curtain, rustling around to change back into his clothes once more. 

“i’m pretty sure.” you began sifting through clothes with mina. “bakugou said he’d go if i went. so i’m guessing kirishima is going to be there, too. bakugou and he are never apart.” 

mina slapped her thigh in disbelief. “do you hear yourself, babes?” she wore a stupid grin. “i haven’t seen those two together since...i don’t know, not for the past month. they’re fighting over you, whether you realize it, whether they realize it.” 

kaminari let out a false moan. “oh to have those two fighting over me.” he came out of the change room dressed in his own clothes. 

“did the costume not fit?” mina asked. 

“my fat ass is too fat for it. i’m too hot to be a pirate.” he posed, mimicking aoyama. 

“your ass is flatter than a pancake, kaminari.” 

you chuckled, but couldn’t help thinking about what mina was saying. as your two friends began chatting away, you lost yourself in your thoughts. 

- 

the three of you sat down for dinner at a cheap restaurant. mina and kaminari had bought a matching costume set, and you were still left without one. the two had left for the bathroom, leaving you sipping your own drink alone. 

your chest sank into your stomach when a familiar head full of red, the roots beginning to darken, stepped into the restaurant. he ordered what you’d guessed. 

he waited for the meal to be prepared for take out, rocking back and forth on his heels and whistling softly. 

thankfully, you felt someone rest a hand on your shoulder. you turned, expecting to see kaminari or mina attempting to save you. instead, you found a strange man. he looked to be around your age. you vaguely recognized his face. perhaps you’d seen him around yuuei before. 

uncomfortable, you shoved his hand off. “please go away.” 

kirishima blinked slowly when his eyes found you. you did not attempt to hide your annoyance. 

you wanted to tell both of them to go away as the man started flirting with you. it should be expected. this wasn’t the best place to be hanging out, either. 

you heard footsteps rushing up, and soon, a hand clamped around your wrist. you cried out as kirishima pulled you out of your seat. 

“do you have an issue?” he demanded, eyes boring into the man’s. 

the man licked his lips. “you seem like you have an issue, here.” his words slurred grossly. “we were over here minding our own business.” 

“they don’t want it.” kirishima snapped. 

“kirishima, i can handle this myself. you tried to shove off his grip. he let go, knowing that this wasn’t truly how he wanted to approach you. 

“see?” the man said. “they’re fine.” 

“get out of here.” 

“kirishima, what’re you-” 

the man put his hands up in surrender and wandered out. 

you pushed kirishima back. “what the hell?” 

“fine. be mad at me, but he was invading your space.” 

your brow furrowed. “you’re one to talk! do i need to put some kind of restraining order on you? you keep following me everywhere.” 

“not anywhere! this was a coincidence.” 

you shook your head. “it’s pointless trying to argue with you. you’re so toxic!” 

kirishima tongued the inside of his cheek. “think what you want, y/n. i could see you were uncomfortable, anyway.” 

“no, kirishima. i don’t need your saving. i don’t need you to swoop in and pretend like you’re my hero. you’re not. don’t talk to me again unless you’ve grown the hell up.” 

as if on queue, the bell rang and kirishima’s packaged dinner was presented in a paper bag. he gave you a good, long hard stare before taking his dinner and leaving. 

your chest heaved with anger. you wanted to make him angry. if he felt romantic feelings towards you, you wanted to make him jealous. 

you gave mina and kaminari a text that you’d be going home early. it was only a half-lie. you ran to hatsume’s dorm and knocked loudly. she opened the door without hesitation and grinned widely at the sight of you, already knowing you needed something. 

kirishima was obviously so damn jealous of bakugou, wasn’t he? mina was right. he wouldn’t be able to compete. and you were going to make sure he knew that. 

- 

the blaring lights, the music louder than bakugou’s explosions. students disguised as their favorite characters. 

it was hectic, you were right about that. 

kirishima stood beside him. they’d both decided to dress in their hero costumes. the tension between them was still unspoken. they felt like strangers. 

their eyes scanned the crowd, and bakugou’s landed on you first, kirishima following closely after. 

he couldn’t help the warm, victorious feeling in his chest as he glanced to the side at kirishima’s expression. 

- 

kirishima’s chest caved in. you’d dressed in...who had made it? 

“they’re dressed as...you,” he said, aghast. 

bakugou grinned, watching you dance under the lights in your own rendition of his hero costume, that orange x crossing your chest oh-so-nicely.

- - - 

tags: (if you want to be tagged in future parts, let me know!!) 

@heizenka @misssugarless 

[hqbbg]

no regrets.

pairing: iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader (ft. oikawa)

prompt:  "I wonder what he’d do if he knew you were with me right now."

genre: smut with a sprinkle of angst

word count: 7.3K (i’m so sorry, this came out way longer than i intended)

warnings: 18+, slowburn like wow look at that word count, mentions of alcohol, some cheating, fingering, oral (f.receiving), unprotected s3x, aftercare

author’s note: here’s my monthly contribution to the Haikyuu!! Headquarters server collab! here’s the masterlist, so be sure to check everyone else’s works out too! hope you guys enjoy :)

The sunlight seeping in through your bedroom window feels warm on your face as you stir awake. Stretching your arms above your head, you sigh in contentment, satisfied with the quality of sleep you had. You roll over to check your phone, frowning as it fails to turn on, realizing that you’d forgotten to charge it after a call with your boyfriend who’s currently halfway across the world.

Suddenly, a thought strikes you and you scramble out of bed to check the wall clock you have hanging in your apartment’s living room. A loud gasp followed by a curse leaves your lips as you rush to the bathroom to get ready for work.

You’re running late. Again.

Dread spreads through your senses as you quickly go through your morning routine, thinking of all the possible excuses you can offer your boss that won’t result in the loss of your job. As you finish up in the bathroom, you practically run to your room and carelessly throw on a relatively clean white shirt and a pair of pants before rushing out the door. Despite your hectic morning, you’re out the door in record time, locking it behind you. You have half a thought to give yourself a pat on the back. Unfortunately, you just don’t have the time for that right now.

By the time you arrive at work, you’re breathless and visibly frazzled, only slightly annoyed when your coworkers give you suspicious and questioning looks. As you’d expected, your boss hardly greets you before demanding a reason as to why you’re late. You can already tell that today’s going to be a long day, the fact amplified when you realize you’d left your phone charger at home.

When you finally clock out after a particularly long shift, hardly sparing your coworkers a proper goodbye on your way out, you feel momentary relief knowing that you’ve gotten that out of the way. As you step outside, another groan leaves your lips as you look up at the thick and dark clouds overhead. With your phone being dead in combination with being late, you had no idea that rain was in the forecast for today. There were hardly any clouds this morning on your way to work, too! Well, maybe there were, you were just too preoccupied to notice.

You silently plead that the journey home is a dry one, but you should know better than to have hope on a bad day like this.

When you feel the first of many heavy raindrops, you curse under your breath and briefly scan the area to find some shelter, eyes landing on a nearby café. You walk as quickly as you can, avoiding others who either came prepared with their umbrellas or those who, much like you, are rushing to find a place to stay dry.

Pushing the door open, you’re finally able to catch your breath. However, the relief is short lived when someone else opens the door from behind you to get inside, shoving you into another person who was on their way out.

Just as you begin to think the day can’t get any worse, the world clearly has other ideas. You feel it before you see it: the cup of iced coffee spilling onto your shirt and practically freezing your skin as you let out a yelp.

“Oh, shit, are you okay?”

Your head whips up at the oddly familiar voice and you’re surprised to see Iwaizumi Hajime standing before you, looking around frantically to search for napkins to clean you up. If it weren’t for the icy and numbing sensation on your chest, you would’ve been happy to see him.

He takes a couple long strides to the nearest condiment bar and swipes a handful of napkins before rushing back to you. He still hasn’t realized that it’s you standing before him: his best friend’s girlfriend whom he hasn’t seen or spoken to in years.

Wordlessly taking the napkins from him, you peel the shirt away from you while pressing them into the fabric. Though your chin is tucked so you can look at your shirt, you can feel Iwaizumi’s eyes on you.

“Wait, Y/N?”

You lift your head and greet him with an awkward smile.

“Hey,” you lamely respond as you finally give up on your shirt. Your next best option is to get home quickly and throw it into the washer while you take a nice, long shower. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. The only issue now is finding a way home that doesn’t involve getting drenched by the storm raging outside.

“Wow, it’s been awhile,” says Iwaizumi as he lifts his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “It’s good to see you, but sorry about your shirt.”

“It’s fine, my day’s been pretty bad to begin with,” you sigh. You immediately realize the implications of your statement and feel your eyes widen as you scramble to recover. “I mean, not to say you’ve ruined my day or anything! I just—it’s just been one of those days.”

Iwaizumi offers an apologetic and understanding smile. “I get it, you don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“Thanks,” you reply gratefully. “I didn’t know you came back from the States.”

“Yeah, I graduated and came back for good a couple months ago,” he says casually. His eyes flicker for a brief moment to the stain on your chest and he quickly shifts his gaze elsewhere, clearing his throat. “Do you, uh, have a jacket or a change of clothes?”

“No, I was running late this morning and my phone’s been dead, so I didn’t get a chance to check the weather or anything,” you reply with a frown. “I’m clearly living my best life right now.”

You half meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but the frown settling on your former classmate’s face tells you that it was not received that way.

“It doesn’t look like the storm is gonna let up anytime soon,” says Iwaizumi, sensing your concern as you turn your head ever so slightly to check the weather outside. “Do you live far?”

You shake your head, turning back to face him. “No, I’m just a couple more blocks away.”

“If you want, I can walk you home,” he generously offers. “My umbrella isn't that big, but it would get the job done.”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” You’re quick to shake your head, waving your hands out in front of you. “My shirt’s already done for and I can just make a run for it, so it’ll be faster.”

Iwaizumi seems to hesitate, giving you a quick once-over with his eyes. “Okay, well, the least I can do then is offer you my jacket. I did spill my coffee all over you, after all.”

You open your mouth to refuse his kindness, but he’s already shrugging out of the outerwear and holding it up in front of you.

“Take it,” he insists as he locks eyes with you. “I’m not taking no for an answer.”

You hesitate for a moment and glance down at your shirt to see if you really need it. Your eyes widen slightly when you’re able to see your bra through the damp fabric and the way it sticks to your skin, particularly the valley of your cleavage.

Muttering your gratitude, you’re quick to take it and put it on, feeling dwarfed instantly. You close the jacket and glance out the window again to see what you’re working with before looking back at him.

“Alright, well, I guess I’ll be going now,” you say, getting ready to turn and leave. “Oh, wait.”

You turn back around and Iwaizumi raises a brow.

“How do I get your jacket back to you?”

“Oh, right.” The thought seems to have slipped from Iwaizumi’s mind too. “Uh, here, give me your number. We can find another time and place for you to give it back to me.”

Iwaizumi shuffles and grabs his phone from his pocket, giving it a couple taps before holding it out to you. You thank him and quickly input your contact information, sending a quick text to yourself before handing the device back to him.

“Thanks, Hajime,” you say with a grateful smile. The look on his face is one of surprise and you realize it’s the first time you’ve called him by name today. Actually, since the last time you saw him back in high school. “This time, I’m going for real.”

Iwaizumi recovers quickly enough to give you a nod and a small wave. “Good luck out there.”

“Thanks, I’m gonna need it,” you say, sighing warily as you turn towards the door again. This time, you don’t look back, preparing yourself for the stormy commute that awaits you.

“Sounds like you had a rough day.”

“It was awful, Tooru,” you whine as you pad through your kitchen, trying to figure out what you want to eat for dinner with your phone propped up on one of the kitchen counters. You’re on a video call with Oikawa in your oversized t-shirt and hair wrapped up in a towel, having come freshly out of the shower before this. “Oh! But something interesting did happen earlier.”

You hear your boyfriend hum curiously, urging you to continue.

“I saw Hajime,” you say, inspecting some vegetables in your fridge that have been in there for a suspicious amount of time.

“Oh?” Oikawa sounds as equally surprised as you were earlier. “Wow, how long has it been since you saw him?”

“I haven’t seen him since high school,” you reply as you put the vegetables on the counter next to your phone, seeing Oikawa still laying in bed. “He let me borrow his jacket on my way home to avoid getting my shirt any wetter.”

“Oh, that’s nice of him,” Oikawa responds with less enthusiasm than you’d expected. You thought he’d be more excited to hear that his girlfriend and best friend interacted, but there’s something in his voice that doesn’t necessarily sound right. “He always had a soft spot for you back then, too.”

“Really?” You raise a brow as you return to your fridge. “How so?”

“Well, that’s irrelevant now,” Oikawa says, nonchalantly brushing off the subject. You don’t question things further, more concerned about what to eat for dinner.

You stay on call together for a little longer before Oikawa has to leave for practice, and eventually, you’re left alone in the comforts of your apartment. You still have yet to settle on dinner and migrate to your couch to see if anything looks appetizing on your local food delivery app.

As you mindlessly scroll, you hear your washing machine go off to alert you that your laundry is done. Setting your phone down on your coffee table, you stand and go to transfer the clean clothes into the dryer. As you pull out Iwaizumi’s jacket, you’re reminded that you need to return it soon; there’s no point in keeping it here for too long.

Walking back over to your couch, you plop back down and pick up your phone. This time, you navigate through it to locate Iwaizumi’s name and type up a quick text to ask him for his availability in the next couple of days. He doesn’t respond for several minutes and you return to your relentless search to find something to eat.

Deciding on one of the local fast food restaurants, you place your order and sprawl yourself out over your couch. With roughly twenty minutes before the food arrives, you try to busy yourself on your phone before dejectedly placing it down beside you.

Your phone buzzes with a notification and you lift the screen to see a banner with Iwaizumi’s name on it. Reading over his reply, you find that he’s available on your day off in the next few days. You type up a response to ask him if he’s willing to meet up so you can return his jacket, and this time, he responds quickly with a simple agreement.

After texting him a time and place, you set your phone back down beside you. It’s been so long since you last saw him, it feels strange. You can’t help but think back to your time in high school and the memories you had with him.

Back then, you weren’t the biggest fan of volleyball like the rest of your friends were, so you never really went to the games unless they dragged you along. You recognized some of the boys from your class, though you could hardly remember their names; they were never the ones your friends talked about—they weren’t Oikawa Tooru and Iwaizumi Hajime.

You actually met Iwaizumi before you’d met Oikawa, but that was because you’d bumped into him on your way to the bathroom during one of the games your friends had taken you to. Sure, he didn’t introduce himself or anything, simply muttering an apology before storming off somewhere, but it was still your first memorable interaction with him.

It was one of your friends that got you acquainted with Oikawa sometime later, and after the two of you officially started dating towards the end of your second year, you started seeing Iwaizumi more often. He was slightly intimidating at first, but after some time, you’d come to learn that he was a big softie on the inside—he just didn’t like to show that to other people.

Most of your friends were jealous that you were the lucky girl who somehow caught the popular captain’s eye, so when the two of you had gone on a break in the middle of your third year, no one was really around for you. Except Iwaizumi.

It was neither of your first choices to have him listen to you cry over the phone about Oikawa on a Friday night, but that’s where you’d both ended up. He was terrible at giving advice, but he was a good listener at the very least.

Ever since then, you were more comfortable with him and he seemed to feel the same way. When you got back together with Oikawa, he was less than thrilled to hear the news, but respected your relationship nonetheless. He stopped responding to your texts as much, stopped answering your calls, and by the time you graduated, he barely spoke to you when Oikawa wasn’t around.

To say that it didn’t upset you was a lie; you considered him to be a friend, after all. So, when you had to hear from Oikawa that Iwaizumi left for America for school instead of hearing it from him directly, you were a little hurt. Oikawa had assured you to not take it so personally, telling you “that’s just how he is”. Since then, you’ve moved on with your life and now you’re here.

Your thoughts are interrupted when your phone buzzes and you look to see that your food’s arrived. As you bring it inside, you settle back down on your couch and find something to watch before indulging in your meal. Finally, the day is over.

Thankfully, the rest of your week isn’t too bad. Your day off finally rolls around and you’re waiting patiently inside the café you’d bumped into Iwaizumi at, nursing a cup of hot coffee in your hands. You’d arrived several minutes early, so you’re surprised to see him walking in five minutes before your agreed upon time.

Calling out his name, you raise your arm to wave him over to the table you’re sitting at.

“Hey, you’re here early,” he says as he sits himself down across from you.

“So are you,” you remark, taking a slow sip from your cup.

“Ah, yeah, I was hoping to get some coffee before we met up,” he says, glancing towards the front counter.

“Sure, don’t let me stop you,” you say with a small smile on your face. He nods and excuses himself, leaving you alone at your table.

Your eyes follow his figure, trailing along the broad expanse of his shoulders and back, admiring the way it all tapers at his waist. He’s filled out a lot since high school, and you can tell he’s worked hard to get to where he is now.

When he comes back with his iced coffee in hand, he sits back down in his seat across from you.

“Here’s your jacket,” you say, lifting the paper bag you packed the borrowed clothing in. “Thanks for letting me use it.”

“No problem.” He takes it and there’s a moment of awkward silence.

You can feel his slight discomfort as he shifts a little in his seat, so you decide to break some of the ice. “So, how’ve you been?”

As the conversation progresses, you can feel him slowly opening up and getting more comfortable with you. You come to learn that he’s still in contact with Oikawa, which spurs a shared trip down memory lane.

By the time you start to wrap up your time together, you realize that it’s getting dark outside and check the time. Where had the time gone?

“Wow, we’ve been here awhile.”

Iwaizumi flicks his wrist to check the time and nods. “Yeah, we have. Do you wanna grab dinner?”

You hesitate for a moment. Typically, you call Oikawa around this time, but you figure it doesn’t hurt to not call today. He would understand, right? He knows that you were upset when Iwaizumi practically ghosted you, so he’d understand that you’d want to make up for some lost time, right? Iwaizumi’s his best friend, after all; what would be the harm in hanging out with him for just a little longer?

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

The two of you settle on a restaurant nearby where you proceed to spend a couple more hours just talking and enjoying each other’s company. You want to ask him why he stopped talking to you in the first place, but you figure that maybe tonight isn’t the best time nor is this the place.

Iwaizumi ends up walking you home, claiming it’s not safe for a girl to be out alone at this hour and that he’d be doing a disservice to you and Oikawa if he let you go off on your own.

“You know, I actually had a lot of fun today,” you say as the both of you stand in front of your door.

“Surprisingly, I did too,” he says with a playful smirk on his lips. He seems much more relaxed than he was several hours ago and part of you is excited to think that things might go back to how they used to be in high school with him.

“Let’s keep in touch more,” you suggest. “It’ll be like high school all over again.”

His lips falter a little, a detail you miss as you turn to unlock your door.

“Anyways, thanks for walking me home,” you say with a smile. “Have a good rest of your night.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later,” he replies with a nod before turning on his heels to leave. You also step into your apartment and lock the door behind you. Today’s been a good day.

Over the next several weeks, you end up seeing Iwaizumi more often. Whether it’s for a quick coffee or even running errands on your day off, he’s been there to keep you company. When you had told Oikawa about it at first, he was less than thrilled to hear the news, but you figured it was simply because he felt left out.

When you told him that Iwaizumi had come over once to help you carry groceries, he had gotten upset and it led to a small argument that led to the two of you refusing to speak to each other for three days. You didn’t see the harm in spending this much time with Iwaizumi—did Oikawa not trust either of you?

Needless to say, when you started talking again, you felt some tension and decided not to bring up Iwaizumi as much anymore. Part of you felt bad for not giving your boyfriend the whole truth, but he didn’t seem to trust you and you didn’t want to deal with another argument and the possibility that your long-term relationship would end over your friendship with another man.

You decided to keep this from Iwaizumi; you didn’t want him to feel bad in case he blamed himself if something were to go wrong with your relationship. Well, not that you’d think anything would go wrong. You’ve gotten this far in your relationship with Oikawa, and sure, there have been a couple bumps in the road along the way, but you’ve both made it work.

“Oi.” Iwaizumi’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts and you turn your head to look at him. You’re currently sitting on his couch in his apartment, having agreed to come over to watch movies.

“Hm?”

“I asked if you wanted something to drink,” he replies from his kitchen. The fridge door is propped open and you think it over for a moment.

“I’ll take anything,” you say, shrugging your shoulders. He returns with two beers in his hands, handing one to you before sitting himself down beside you on the couch.

“What are we watching?”

“I found this movie with one star,” you say as you pull it up on his tv. “It’s going to be terrible.”

“I’m gonna need more drinks for this.” You laugh lightheartedly as the movie begins playing.

The both of you don’t even make it halfway through before searching for another bad movie to make fun of. As Iwaizumi searches on his phone, he gets an alert that the food you two had ordered has arrived and you get up to grab it. When you return, you place the food on the table in front of you and plop down beside him.

You feel your leg brushing his and realize you’ve miscalculated your spacing, but he makes no effort to move away from you. Taking out the food, you hand him his meal and grab your own, settling back comfortably as he sets up another movie.

As the movie drones on and on, the two of you finish your dinners, engaging in your own conversation. You see his eyes on your mouth as you speak and suddenly feel a little self-conscious. Do you have something in your teeth?

“You have a little,” he lifts his finger to point at his own mouth, “something there.”

You wipe at your mouth with the back of your hand, but apparently miss as Iwaizumi tells you the food is still there. You wipe at it again, but it seems to be stubborn and Iwaizumi eventually gets frustrated. He lifts his hand to your face and gently brushes the culprit away with his thumb, allowing his digit to trace your bottom lip for a moment.

He seems just as stunned as you are at the soft and intimate gesture, quickly pulling away and turning back to the movie, clearing his throat. You also slowly turn, keeping your eyes fixed on the screen in front of you.

The air feels awkward and heavy and the silence between the two of you is deafening, if not for the movie blabbering on its own. You watch from the side of your eye as Iwaizumi takes a long sip from his beer, knocking the whole thing back until there’s not a drop left. He sets it down and clears his throat.

“Uh, do you want to watch something else?” He doesn’t meet your eyes.

“This is fine,” you reply. “It’s not as bad as the first one, at least.”

You watch the corner of his lip quirk upwards a little. “Yeah, that one was pretty bad.”

The tension in the room seems to ease up a little and he leaves to grab a couple more drinks, taking the trash left from your dinner with him. When he comes back, he sets the bottles down on the table and sits down right where he was, though this time it feels more intentional with his placement by your side.

The movie, although terrible from the start, seems to get increasingly more boring, so you turn to him to start another conversation.

“I have a question,” you say, fidgeting your fingers in your lap. Iwaizumi turns to look at you with a raised brow, wordlessly urging you to continue. “So, you remember back in high school how we were friends and then we weren’t?”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” Iwaizumi says, nodding slowly. He seems to know where this is going.

“Why did that happen?”

You can practically see Iwaizumi’s thoughts being processed in real time as he weighs the different options he has depending on his response. He opens his mouth to say something, only to close it again.

“Fuck it,” he mutters under his breath before inhaling deeply. “I liked you. A lot.”

The way his eyes lock with yours nearly sends a shiver down your spine, but you chalk it up to the alcohol pulsing through your veins.

“I wanted to ask you out, thought that you might be into me too, but then I heard you got back with Oikawa, so I backed off,” he says. “I know it was a dick move on my end without telling you why, but I figured it was better that way.”

“Did Oikawa know about this?” You have a lot of questions you want to ask, but somehow, this is the one that slips through first.

“Of course he did; he’s my best friend.” Iwaizumi seems a little agitated as he fidgets in his seat.

You try to think of a way to respond. That would explain Oikawa’s attitude towards your renewed friendship with his best friend, though part of you feels conflicted. Could you have possibly harbored feelings for him in return back then? Maybe, but what does it matter now? You’re in a relationship with Oikawa, you shouldn’t even entertain the thought of what if…

“It doesn’t matter now,” says Iwaizumi, pulling you out of your thoughts. “That was the past.”

“If I hadn’t gotten back together with Oikawa, what would you have done?” Your voice is quiet and you know you’re treading dangerous waters right now. The alcohol is definitely not helping with your sense of judgment either.

“I probably would’ve asked you out,” he replies plainly as he shifts his attention to the fabric of his sweats. “If the feelings weren’t returned, well, I don’t see much being different from what ended up happening.”

“What if I said yes?”

Iwaizumi lifts his head and turns to look at you again. You know you should stop now, but now you want to know. To be honest, it’s not like you haven’t thought about dating him in the past; he’s a great guy, and honestly, anyone would be an idiot to turn him down without a really good excuse.

“Y/N, we shouldn’t,” he says slowly. You don’t even realize you’ve been leaning into him until your lips are nearly touching.

“I know,” is all you manage to say before your lips are pressing against his. You feel electrified and realize how touch-starved you’ve been all this time.

Iwaizumi tastes like beer and the musk of his cologne feels overwhelming to your senses. You can’t help but raise your hand to weave through his hair, hardly protesting as his tongue pushes into your mouth. You feel his hands rest on your waist and you slide onto his lap, unable to resist the small roll of your hips against his groin. He lets out a low groan and you can feel him twitch through his pants.

A million red flags and sirens are going off in your head, but you ignore them all, letting your hands slip down to rest on Iwaizumi’s broad and built chest. His own hands slide down the dip of your waist towards your hips and you feel him slowly guide them along the growing hardness between his legs.

Just as your hands begin to wander further, your phone begins to vibrate loudly on the table behind you. It’s as if a bucket of ice water is dumped on you and you pull away rather quickly. Iwaizumi’s hands drop from your side.

Your phone is still buzzing and you slide off of his lap to grab your phone, the weight of guilt beginning to settle in your stomach as Oikawa’s name and a picture of you two flash on the screen.

“I’m gonna go,” you say, standing abruptly, trying not to sway at the headrush.

Iwaizumi doesn’t say anything as you practically run out of there, quickly answering Oikawa’s call before it goes to voicemail. You don’t see the way he buries his face in his hands as he leans forward on his knees.

“Hey, Tooru,” you greet a little breathlessly.

“Hey—are you okay?” His voice is laced with concern and you can only imagine what you sound like right now.

“Yeah, I’m just out right now,” you say. You chew your bottom lip as you begin your walk home, still able to taste Iwaizumi. “Can I actually call you back?”

“Sure, but is everything alright? You sound a little stressed,” he says, voice laced with concern. You feel the tears springing in your eyes as you inhale a shaky breath.

“Yeah, I’ll call you back when I get home, okay?”

Oikawa hesitates, but you’re already hanging up on him. By the time you get back to your apartment, you feel lightheaded. What just happened?

You went a solid three days before breaking under the pressure you’ve placed on yourself. Oikawa was beyond livid and you had cried yourself to sleep that night, telling yourself that he deserved better. You know he does.

He doesn’t answer your call for the rest of the week and you consider simply sending him a long message to express how sorry you are. As you’re about to do so, you receive a text from one of your friends, followed by an apology. With a frown, you open it and see that it’s a link to a gossip website in Argentina. Not really caring for the words, you scowl as you scroll through and see paparazzi photos of Oikawa with a beautiful woman draped on his arm. There are several different photos of the two together in different outfits to imply that they’ve been taken on different days.

It feels like you’ve been punched in the gut when you connect the pieces.

Without even thinking, you simply text Oikawa that your relationship is done and grab your jacket and keys, practically running out the door. You feel blinded with hurt and anger as your legs carry you all the way to a familiar doorstep you haven’t been to in awhile.

The door opens on your third knock and Iwaizumi looks surprised to see you standing there.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?”

“Oikawa and I are done,” you say. Hearing yourself say it out loud seems to solidify it as reality and you resist the tears threatening to spill from your eyes.

“Y/N, I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to be here like this,” he says, sighing warily, before muttering under his breath, "I wonder what he’d do if he knew you were with me right now."

“Hajime,” you say, hands and voice trembling as you pull out your phone, holding it in front of him. He hesitantly takes it from you and you can see his eyes widen for a moment as he scrolls, slowly handing the phone back to you.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.”

“I just need a distraction right now.” You look up at him with watery eyes before he lets out a sigh, stepping aside so you can come in. Closing the door behind you, he follows you into the living room.

“So, what do you want me to—”

His sentence is cut short when you turn, leaning up to kiss him. Your hands fist his shirt, and you can feel him hesitantly move his lips against yours. You know your way around his apartment enough to begin pulling him into the direction of his bedroom, careful with your steps so you don’t trip or fall.

“Y/N,” Iwaizumi says, pulling away slightly as the backs of your legs hit the edge of his bed. His voice is coarse and his half-lidded eyes are dark. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later.”

“I won’t regret this,” you say softly, looking up into his eyes. He can still see that you have tears in your eyes, but behind that is a sense of lust.

“If at any point you want to stop, tell me, okay?” Iwaizumi lifts a hand to brush your hair away from your face. Your grip on his shirt tightens as you nod.

“Thank you,” you say, before kissing him again. This time, he seems more willing to kiss you back, easing you down until you’re laying on your back on his bed. He hovers over you, kissing along your jaw to your neck. You let out a shaky sigh as his hands slowly stroke your sides. You can feel his hesitancy to touch you more, so you wrap your legs around his torso and grind against him.

“Fuck,” he hisses under his breath as one of his hands slip under your shirt. You watch as he leans up slightly to drag your shirt up to your neck, exposing your bra. You sit up just a little so he can help get the fabric completely off, tossing it aside before kissing down your chest to your clothed breasts. His hand comes up to squeeze one and a whimper leaves your lips.

Seriously, when was the last time anyone has touched you like this?

Iwaizumi reaches under you to unhook your bra with seemingly practiced ease and you arch your back up to give him easier access. Peeling the garment off of yourself, this time you’re the one to discard it somewhere on his bedroom floor.

“God, you’re beautiful,” he says before capturing a nipple between his lips. You sigh softly as his tongue flicks the hardening bud, the other being pinched between his thumb and index finger.

He alternates between your breasts for a few more moments before kissing his way down your abdomen. He sets on his knees on the floor, peering up at you.

“Y/N, you sure you wanna do this?”

You nod quickly, suddenly very aware of the heat pooling between your legs.

“I need you to use your words.”

“Yes, please,” you respond.

“Good girl,” he says, lips quirking upwards into the slightest smirk before his fingers hook the waistband of your pants. He easily tugs them down with your panties and you gently kick them off your legs. “Holy fuck.”

The way he eyes your glistening cunt has you blushing and suddenly very aware of your surroundings. Before you can even tell him to stop staring, he leans forward to lick a hot stripe between your slit. A loud gasp echoes around the room as you feel your body instantly react, lifting you head to watch as he leans forward again to bury his face between your legs.

His arms reach under and around your legs, allowing his fingers to hold your lower lips open to reveal your most sensitive bundle of nerves. He gives it a hard suck after flicking it with his tongue and your hand shoots to fist his hair. He groans lowly, allowing the vibrations to further stimulate you.

He dips down a little lower so he can properly taste you, humming in satisfaction with how wet you are. He brings one hand back down and around before pushing a thick finger inside. You let out a loud gasp at the sudden intrusion, though you aren’t complaining. He slowly thrusts it in and out, keeping his eyes on your face to see what you do and don’t like. When he finds that one particular spot within you, he inserts another finger and does his best to hit it again. As your back arches and eyes roll to the back of your head, Iwaizumi can’t help but smirk a little, satisfied with himself.

“Fuck, H-Hajime, I’m gonna cum,” you whimper as he continues his relentless ministrations. Before you know it, your back is arching and toes curling as you finally hit your release.

He lets you ride out the rest of his orgasm on his tongue, relishing in the way your hips buck from the sensitivity. He pulls out his fingers, admiring the way they glisten before pulling away from you completely. You lock eyes with him as he licks his fingers clean and another whimper leaves your lips.

“Are you feeling okay?” He asks as he moves to hover over you on the bed.

“More than okay,” you say, unable to resist the dopey smile on your face. Iwaizumi chuckles softly as he combs his dry fingers through your hair. As he does so, you realize that you’re completely naked while he’s fully clothed. With a frown, you sit up and look at him.

“What’s wrong?”

“You still have your clothes on,” you say, turning and climbing over him so you’re straddling his lap. He sits up with a small smile.

“We don’t have to go any further, Y/N,” he says, putting his hands on your hips.

“I want to,” you say as you grind your hips against him much like you had the first night you shared a kiss.

He can see how dark and clouded with lust your eyes are and the raging hard-on in his pants would never forgive him for turning you down.

“Okay,” he says simply. You flash a smile before tugging at the hem of his shirt. He easily pulls it over his head in one fluid motion and you can’t help but lick your lips as he gives you a full view of his toned chest and abdomen. “Like what you see?”

You can feel your cheeks burn with embarrassment, not missing the arrogant grin on Iwaizumi’s face. You don’t say anything as you loosen the drawstring of his sweats and he helps pull them down. His cock practically springs out and slaps against his hard stomach and you all but drool at the sight. The angry tip is leaking with precum and you want to get a taste, but Iwaizumi stops you by pressing his lips to yours to capture you in a hungry kiss. You kiss him back and let his tongue push through your lips and you can taste hints of yourself still lingering on his tongue.

“‘M wanna taste you,” you mutter against his lips.

“Next time, baby.” You want to say something back, but his sturdy hands are lifting you by your waist so you’re sitting up on your knees over his lap.

Before you can say anything else, he’s reaching for his weeping cock and positioning it between your legs. You can’t help but whimper softly as you take it upon yourself to lower your hips on him. He feels so big, so thick, and you feel so full despite him not being entirely sheathed within you.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he hisses as he keeps his gaze fixed where your bodies meet. Something about the way he’s disappearing inside of your warmth leaves him a little lightheaded.

“Mm, you’re so big,” you gasp as you finally seat yourself fully on top of him. Iwaizumi feels his chest and ego swell with pride as he looks back up at you. He admires the way your lips are parted, eyes glazed over with pleasure.

He doesn’t rush you as you adjust to the sheer size of him, kissing along your neck and shoulder until you’re ready to move. When you are, you slowly drag your hips up until he’s nearly out of you completely before you drop back down. A loud moan leaves both of your lips and you have to brace yourself on his shoulders as you repeat the process, eventually finding a steady rhythm to follow.

A string of curses mixed with praise leaves his lips as you bury your face into the crook of his neck and shoulder, letting his hands roam and squeeze your ass. As you roll your hips in circular motions, another loud moan leaves him before he holds you and flips you over so you’re on your back.

“Fuck, I almost came too early,” he practically growls, placing a kiss to the corner of your mouth before sitting up.

You let out a soft giggle until he grabs one of your legs, tossing it over his shoulder. This new angle has him hitting a different spot inside of you and you feel your walls clench around him as he drags himself back out only to thrust right back in.

“Shit,” he hisses as he feels you flutter around him. “You look so pretty like this, fucked out on my cock.”

His thrusts are deep and precise as one hand presses against your lower abdomen while the other holds your leg. He presses a kiss to your ankle as you practically chant his name, feeling close to another orgasm. He seems to notice this too, losing some of his rhythm as the hand on your abdomen moves lower to rub harsh circles against your clit.

Just like that, it feels like the tightly wound coil in your belly snaps and your back arches off the bed as you reach your climax. Iwaizumi’s not far behind, pulling out and roughly jerking his throbbing cock until thick white ropes of cum decorate your chest and stomach.

The room fills with sounds of both of you breathing heavily and Iwaizumi flops onto his back next to you.

“Wow,” he says breathlessly, turning his head to look at you.

“Wow,” you parrot back, unable to resist the smile pulling at your lips. He tiredly smiles back for a moment before his eyes flit towards the mess he’s made all over you.

“Sorry for the mess.”

“It’s fine,” you tiredly shake your head. With the roller coaster you’ve been on these past several days and the physical exertion, you feel the exhaustion finally hitting you.

Your eyelids feel heavy and you barely see Iwaizumi get up from the bed and disappear for a moment. The sound of clothes shuffling and the sink running tells you that he’s cleaning up and in a few more moments, you feel a warm and damp towel wiping your body. You hum softly at the pleasant feeling, still riding the tail end of your orgasm as you open your eyes to see him wiping you of your sweat and his cum.

“I don’t regret anything,” you say as you feel Iwaizumi pull away.

“We can talk more in the morning,” he says softly as he places a kiss to the top of your head. You sleepily watch him as he disappears again and hear him running a bath.

He returns shortly after and easily scoops you up in his strong arms. You cling to him and let him slowly lower you into the warm water. He gestures for you to scoot forward a little bit so that he can slide in behind you, filling up the small space even more.

As you lean back and let him press soft kisses along your neck, your phone lays discarded on the floor, buzzing with another call from your now ex-boyfriend. That’ll just have to go on the list of things to figure out in the morning.

[heeracha]

ep 37. / ep 38. — the time heeseung accidentally kissed y/n. / ep 39.

buy one, take me. — l. heeseung

synposis: with his best friend asking him for help because said best friend was scared he wasn't "boyfriend material" enough, heeseung looks for flower shops for his best friend's girlfriend. thankfully, jake knows someone from the university who has an aunt that owns a flower shop, you. now, heeseung messages you and shyly, but shamelessly asks if he can get any promos or discounts to which you shamelessly answered him, "buy one, take me". heeseung doesn't pass on this, of course. after all, you are pretty damn cute.

pairing: heeseung x flortist!fem!reader

content/genre: college au, slowburn, fluff, angst and crack, smau.

warning(s): swearing, of course. two idiots aka heey/n. one kiss,, more like a peck.

note: hiiiii,, okay so JBDSHKSD i finally finished writing botm,, all it needs is to be uploaded !! <3 the playlist also lmao when i tell u guys that hee's cat post was perfect, it's literally perfect

you rest your cheek on heeseung’s shoulder as he continues to study. you look up to see him very focused with his studying. “flower?” he calls and you hum. “you can go if you want.” heeseung says and you shake your head, kissing his clothed shoulder to which he smiles.

he rests his head on yours and sighs. “tired?” you ask and he shakes his head. “take a break, honey.” you softly say and heeseung sighs, sitting up straight as he kisses your head.

“i have class in five minutes, flower.” he says and you sit up straight, smiling at him. “i should get going.”

“actually, me too.” you say and he looks at you as you stand up, fixing your things.

“internship?” he asks and you nod, smiling. “alright, i’ll walk you to the gate.” he says.

“no,” you decline. “go to class, i’ll be fine. i have to wait for—” you stop, pressing your lips in a line as you smile up at heeseung. 

“hyunjin?” heeseung asks with a chuckle. “flower, it’s okay.” he says, standing up as you two go out of the library. “just… there should be a 6ft distance.”

“shut up.” you softly say, pushing him lightly to which he laughs. “okay, i’m going that way,” you say, pointing behind heeseung. “i’ll see you… tomorrow—”

“later, after your internship.” heeseung cuts you off and you laugh.

“honey, you can use your time to study.” you say.

“i study better with you. you tell me to go back studying whenever i get distracted.” he says and you laugh, nodding. “alright, i got to go, darling. i’ll see you later, okay?”

“okay.” you smile.

“take care.” he says, leaning in as he presses a soft kiss on your lips. your eyes widen as heeseung pulls away, walking past you as he doesn’t wait for you to say anything.

heeseung turns a corner and he closes his eyes, regretting his actions. he just got carried away, you know? and maybe… he’s been holding himself for weeks to do that already.