#I’m planning on adding to this later but I just wanted to post something tonight

[cherrys-side-bitch]

Considering that the Great 7 are ghosts means that Yuu is very touch starved. Sure, Yuu likely had friends or acquaintances from their word, but they’ve never had the true feeling of the warm, loving embrace of their parents. Even if they have, it was only a ghost of what could’ve been. All they can do is take it with a sad smile, knowing that no matter how hard they try, they can’t return that love.

Sure, it hurts, but it's a sad truth they’ve gotten used to.

That being said, the first time that one of the first-year gang hugs or puts an arm over their shoulder, Yuu looks at them with an almost… confused expression. Unused to the warmth of another’s touch, they freeze, unsure what to do or say.

[luvonmes-blog]

slow

just, slow down.

warnings/labels - MDNI!!, decided to switch the narrative of a guy actually taking women into consideration (omg!! men who care😱) and decided gojo needs a lil love aka, reader takes gojo into consideration, fem! reader, fluffy smut, pnv, pwp, lil bit of nipple play (i wholeheartedly believe gojo has sensitive nipples, fight the wall), gojos in love, reader shows him how to love (fuck) her.

authors note - you know when people post and say “this was supposed to be a drabble but i got carried away” i always questioned if they were serious or not but now?? i understand. i’m so in love with the idea of being in love

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when gojo first met you, he didn’t think anything would come of it. he just assumed you’d be another colleague of his but you quickly proved him wrong.

it started with quick, shy glances. those quickly because fleeting touches which would burn his skin and leave a mark ingrained in his brain of where you placed your hand. looks became less shy, touches became more certain and then you asked him out. you asked him out and that day he knew he was hooked. the moment he kissed you, he knew he was going nowhere, his brain already planning your future together. your lips met and he wanted to devour you but before he could go any further you pulled back and murmured something about taking it slow.

“d- did you not like it?” he asked nervously, face burning red.

“no, satoru.” you laughed and his face paled. “i liked it i promise but could we slow it down?” it came out as a question and he was confused on what you meant.

“slow it down?” he repeated, trying to understand what you meant.

“yeah, like…” you didn’t finish your sentence instead leaning in and pressing your lips against his. he let you take the lead, wanting to see what you meant. and he finally understood. your lips moved slowly against his, parting just a bit and breathing him in. you meant slow literally and gojo likes this more. he was used to being rushed, everyone around him expecting him to do any and everything quickly but you didn’t. you let him do things on his own terms and now he was doing them on yours. slow. he was used to women rushing him, just trying to get him into their beds, lips moving hurriedly, all teeth and tongue as they stripped him.

but you, you took your time. when you parted your lips enough to slip your tongue into his mouth, he groaned. your hands trailed down his abdomen and met his, moving them from the harsh grip on your hips to up your back, cradling your body and allowing him to pull you closer. the two of you now flush against each other as gojo hunched over to keep his lips against yours. you licked into his mouth moving your tongue against his, tasting him and taking whatever he’d give to you. you finally let go as you felt light headed from the lack of air and looked up to gojo. for your date tonight he opted for glasses instead of his usual blindfold, he had taken them off when you reached your door and as you stared into his beautiful blue eyes, they were sparkling.

“like that.” you finished your earlier sentence. all he could do was nod dazedly, too entranced by you to actually respond with words. “so i’m gonna go inside now…” you backed away slowly. “you’re welcome to come in if you’d like.” you added.

“god you have no idea what you do to me.” he sighed breathily so caught up in you. “but i can’t. i have um, paperwork.” his voice was raspy and breathy as he panted.

“oh, ok.” you sounded disappointed. and he grabbed you just a bit tighter before you could slip away.

“please don’t think i’m shooting you down.” he was quick to explain himself. “trust me, there is nothing i’d like to do more than come in there with you but if i’m late on my assignments one more time, yaga will be on my ass.” he clarified.

“satoru, you’re fine.” you smiled at him. “i understand, i don’t want you any later on more work than you already are. we can just continue this another time.” you smiled at him. he went in for another kiss and as your lips met you let out a satisfied hum.

“another time.” he agreed. he watched you enter your apartment and then made his way back to his car, when he finally took a seat and looked down, it was exactly as he thought. there he was, sporting a semi in his slacks and he wanted nothing more in the world than to go back to your apartment and ravish you. but he had already promised, another time.

- - -

for a while gojo wasn’t sure another time would happen. curses had been popping up more and more out of nowhere and when he finally got to the bottom of it, it was weeks later and he was scared you wouldn’t be interested in him anymore. but after you reassured him you still wanted to go out with him and understood how important work is he finally got you where he wanted you for weeks.

you were under him in his bed, completely bare for him. he was kissing you slowly, just as you taught him and your hands were all over him. trailing from his back to his chest and you rubbed your thumbs over his nipples jokingly but he had whined into your mouth and you laughed. giggles escaping your mouth and flowing into his. he pulled back to look at you with one of his eyebrows raised. “you like that?” you questioned.

“lil’ bit.” he murmured, his face completely red from you finding out he has sensitive nipples. you laughed some more before gripping his hair and pulling him back down to you.

“you don’t have to be embarrassed, i like that you let me touch you, let me figure out what makes you squirm.” you brought his lips back to yours and bucked your hips, his cock soaked in your wetness gliding against your heat and he moaned. he reached over to his nightstand, searching for a condom, pulling back from your lips to look at what he was doing. he finally found the foil packet and tore it open, ready to slide the rubber onto his cock but you stopped him, taking it from him and gliding it onto him instead. he groaned, your hand moving up and down his shaft as you finally got the condom on.

“fuck. fuck, stop.” you looked up at him. “you gotta stop or i’m gonna cum.” his voice was breathless, panting as you continued to move your hand.

“what if i want you to?” you challenged. he shook his head.

“can’t.” he grit his teeth. “fuck, i can’t. when i cum, i wanna be inside you. and it’d be a waste of a condom.” he laughed, you finally took your hand off him and he sighed. he lined his tip up with your entrance, circling it, smearing your slick over the condom and your pussy lips. your hole was clenching around nothing as he teased you.

“please ‘toru. don’t tease me.” you pouted at him and he thought that if you kept looking at him like that, he’d give you the world. he finally pushed in, stretching you open and settling so deep within you. you moaned in bliss as he buried himself to the hilt, pressing against all the spots that made you squirm. he choked on a groan when he finally settled all the way in, you’re so warm and he had to stop moving or he’d be damned to cum too early. he gave you time to adjust to his girth and length and for himself, staving off his orgasm. “you can move now, ‘toru.”

“fuck, just give me a second, please baby, just a second.” he moaned into your neck. you simply rubbed his back as he pressed his entire body flush against yours. he finally felt he was in the clear as the orgasm settled. he sat up, resting his arms beside your head and he started moving, setting a quick rhythmic pace. your nails dug into his lower stomach and he whined, face falling back into your neck.

“‘toru, ‘toru, slow down.” you sighed out, tits bouncing up and down from how fast he was going. he pulled his head up to look into your eyes. “slow down.” you said lowly, not a command but he followed your direction anyway. “i like it slow. like when you take your time.” you told him. you moved your hands from around his neck to his hips, gripping them as you showed him how to move. “l- like that.” you stuttered as he moved at the pace you enjoyed. your back arched, chest pressing against him as his cock rubbed against your walls. your moans were so soft and gentle in his ears. with the way you’re guiding his hips and how slow he’s moving he can really feel you and while he’s used to the fast pace of sex this is different. good different.

every time he pulls out and pushes back in he can feel you clenching around him, every twitch and clench of your pussy, he can feel and it has his head reeling. he’s never felt this good and he can feel his orgasm building again. his stomach is clenching and his hips are twitching with his every movement. your moans spur on his own and he’s whining into your ear. his hand moves to rub your clit causing your eyes to roll back and choke on a moan. “‘toru,” his name falling from your lips has a visible affect on him as he caves in on himself. “‘toru, i’m gonna cum.” your voice is high pitched, your knees locking around gojos hips as he keeps pressing into your sweet spot and rubbing your clit. your thighs are twitching and you clench so tightly around him he has to grit his teeth.

your back arches as your orgasm washes over you and you go completely silent. it takes you in waves, starting from the pit of your stomach and flowing throughout the rest of your body. your mind is completely blank, all you can see and hear is white and you don’t notice you start crying out for gojo, pulling him down into your grasp. he falls into you as your entire body trembles, shaking as you cum. your chest is heaving as you come to, body shaking as gojo keeps thrusting and rubbing your bundle of nerves. you feel his hips stutter against yours and his back tensing, he’s trying so hard to not cum yet, wanting at least one more orgasm out of you. he’s shocked he made it this far and he’s determined to keep going but you have other plans.

you grip his hair and turn yourself towards his ear nibbling at it and your other hand comes up to his chest and rubs over his nipple. you suck and bite at the skin behind his ear, the sensitive part you found earlier. your thumb and index finger tweak his nipple, pinching and twisting it. “want you to cum ‘toru. want to see how pretty you look when you cum in me.” he whines loudly into your ear. he’s trying so hard to not cum but when you play with his body they way you are and whisper in his ear so prettily, who is he to disobey you? his hips slam into yours one more time and he buries himself in you, trying to get as close as possible.

just as yours, his orgasm starts in his lower stomach but he swears he can feel it in his soul. he’s moaning and whining loudly in your ear as you continue to lick and prod at his body and he shakes. he’s stuttering over words, trying to tell you how good he feels but fails, his body won’t let him. his hips are grinding into yours, grinding into your clit and his cock is twitching as he shoots his load into the condom. he cums so hard for the first time in his life since he was a teenager, he swears he’s going to pass out. you’re still pinching his nipple and biting his ear, dragging his orgasm out as rope, after rope, after rope, leak from his over sensitive tip. he’s crying now, tears falling onto the skin of your neck as he keeps cumming. there’s so much of it he fears it will leak out of the condom but is that so bad? to see his cum leak out of your clenching hole and he wishes that you would have let him go bare. he prays to god you’ll let him fuck you without a condom next time.

his body finally calms down and he falls slack on top of you, cock still twitching deep in you. he’s panting heavily, his chest finally filling with air after holding his breath for so long. you move slightly, just trying to get comfortable and he cries out. “fuck don’t move, ‘s sensitive.” he sobs, voice so high he barely recognizes himself. you freeze in your spot and murmur apologies, kissing wherever you can reach and rubbing both your hands up and down his back. he’s still shaking and you fear it won’t stop.

“satoru.” you say worriedly. “are you ok?” you’re concerned, so concerned. you hadn’t meant to harm him, you really hadn’t but now you’re afraid you had. he laughs but stops almost immediately when it causes his hips the slightest movement.

“m’ ok.” he mumbles. “jus… i’ve never cum that hard.”

“oh…” you’re surprised, to say the least. while you know gojo isn’t the most popular with girls - he’ll never actually admit it out loud but he’s too afraid to actually approach a woman, past relationships and flings were initiated by the female counterpart - you expected him to have better experiences than you. he finally pulls out, mustering enough strength from his body that feels like jelly, pulling off them condom, throwing it to where he hopes the trash can is and collapsing beside you. he falls onto his stomach and places his head on a pillow to look at you.

“are you ok?” he mumbles sleepily, he’s never usually worn out after sex but you’ve gotten to him and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“i’m ok.” you move closer to him, resting your head on your hand that was supported by your arm and trailing your fingers up and down his back, tracing the freckles and blemishes there.

“i really like you, y’know.” you blush at his words.

“i really like you too.”

“i was being serious.” you raise an eyebrow at him, questioning what he meant. “i’ve never cum that hard. i don’t think anyone’s ever taken their time to see what i like. but you did. you always see what i’m ok with before anything. thank you.” his eyes are falling shut.

“you’re welcome.” you whisper leaning over to press a kiss into his hair, ready to turn on your other side and fall alseep but gojo wraps his arm around you and pulls you into him. tangling his body with yours before pulling his comforter over you two and passing out. you look at him and giggle. just as him, you could get used to this.

of course you two don’t always take it slow over the course of your relationship. you both have your moments when you’re begging for more, faster but gojo likes when you’re like this and he enjoys taking his time with you and slowing down.

————————————————————————

i’m in heat. (it’s ovulation week.)

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

Hi!! I loved your post about Leo's sons sneaking out lol! I'd love to see how the other brothers would react to their kids!!

Children Of Raphael (Fluff)

Bayverse!Raphael x reader

A/N: My nap did wonders, and I managed to write this! Anyway, I’m glad you liked it❤️ This time it’s Raph’s turn! Joan, Minerva and Ragnar out trouble making behind you and Raph’s backs❤️

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Warnings: Spelling, you and Raphael’s kids being sneaky and cute❤️

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It had been Joan and Minerva’s idea, because of course it had. Who else would come with an idea that surely their mother and father wouldn’t like. And little unsure Ragnar did not like what he overheard his sisters talk about. They would go topside without their father and mother knowing, and see the city of New York for themselves, and maybe even get some pizza. Something you and Raph’s two oldest kids always had wanted to do. But not your youngest. He was so young and did not like it. The thought of his sisters leaving the lair without his parent’s knowledge, made him jump uneasily on the spot. To 6 year old Ragnar, everything outside the lair was big and dangerous, and therefore the world above was a scary place. But his sisters had made their minds up. They were leaving tonight when you and Raph had gone to bed, whether or not Ragnar was coming along.

So that night, after Raph had gone out on patrol and you had tucked Ragnar into bed and kissed him goodnight, the young boy did something he never had done before. He changed the time on his alarm clock, just like he had heard his sisters say that they would do. And just to be sure, he added an extra alarm, should he accidentally sleep over the first one.

A few hours later, Ragner woke up to the sound of his first alarm, quickly turning it off before you would be able to hear it. He quickly gets into his clothes, before hurrying out into the big open living area, where both Joan and Mini stood, waiting just to see if their little brother would come along.

“Great”, 13 year Joan said, uncrossing her arms and letting them rest on her hips. “Now that we’re all here, let’s go”.

Mini jumped with a smile at her sister’s words, skipping towards the exit. But Ragnar on the other hand, still wasn’t too sure about their plan.

“I still don’t know if it’s a good idea”, Ragnar said, playing with the hem of his oversized sweatshirt.

Joan sighed loudly and frustrated, exercising her oldest sibling's power to the fullest. “Did you just wake up only to tell us that?”

“No…”, the small boy muttered.

“Then shut it, and let’s go”, she said, turning towards the exit. But Ragnar did not shut it, like his sister had told him to.

“But what if mom and dad notice we’re gone?...”

“You see this?”, Joan said, turning towards her little brother in a sharp swing, one hand in the air, moving like a mouth, the other pointing to the moving hand. “This is your mouth, and it keeps jabbering. Now shut up and get moving, or keep it jabbering and stay here”.

Joan turned and started walking toward the exit once more. Ragnar placed his hands on his hips, crossed his eyes, and moved his lips in an animated way, mucking his big sister’s words. Mini saw this and giggled.

“You coming?”, Mini asked, reaching out a hand. Ragnar nodded at her, still somewhat unsure of the whole situation. So his took his sister’s hand and followed Joan out of the exit, finding her waiting with a soft smile just beyond the doorway. Sure, she could be harsh on her siblings sometimes, but she would always come around, making sure that they were okay.

The three half human, half turtle kids wandered through the tunnels of the sewer, following the path their father had taken so many times, before he had the uncles would start their patrol. Mini led the way, remembering the route for all the times you had brought her to wave goodbye to Raph, hoping that it would calm her childhood temper tantrums down whenever Raph left.

Ragnar now clung to the arm of Joan, watching every shadow around him with worried eyes. In his young mind, they all looked like monsters lurking in the shadows, ready to jump at them at a moment's notice. Ragnar thought of his father taking this route to the topside almost everyday, and how brave he had to be to do so. There was no doubt in Ragnar’s mind. His dad was one of the bravest men alive.

Finally, the three kids of you and Raphael came to the ladder that led to the world above. To Ragnar, it had seemed like several hours through the dark sewers, but in actuality, it may have taken less than a few minutes. But with all those shadows and monsters that continuously caught Ragnar’s attention, it felt like forever.

“It is this way", Mini said, pointing up the ladder. “I’ve seen dad go this way each time”.

Ragnar stared up the ladder, feeling a new fear wash over him. “That’s a long way up”, he said, mouth agape.

“It’s not that far”, Joan said, sending her brother over to Mini, before grabbing a hold on the ladder steps in order to start climbing.

As Joan climbed to the top of the ladder, pushing the cover of the manhole off, Ragnar stood uneasily and looked around. It was like watching something he wasn’t allowed to see. And even as Mini wrapped an arm around him, he still didn't feel fully safe.

Once the cover was off, Joan called down to Mini, asking her to send Ragnar up first, not wishing for him to be alone in the sewer. Though Joan sometimes found her siblings to be whiny, she did not like to make them feel more unsafe than necessary, which was the reason why she stood over the hole, smiling at Ragnar as he made his way upwards, Mini following closely behind.

Once at the surface, Ragnar looked around with wide eyes. He had never been in an alleyway before, nor had he ever heard the constant noise of the city at night. The blaring sirens somewhere beyond the low rise apartment buildings, and the occasional hunk of a car horn. For a moment Ragnar wondered if this was how his father felt whenever he crawled to the surface, in order to help the NYPD catch the many criminals Ragnar so often heard about. But it was the thought of his father that suddenly caused the boy to look around in fear.

“What if dad sees us?”, Ragnar asked as Joan pulled the cover back over the manhole.

“He’s on patrol for the next few hours”, Joan said, dusting off her hands. “The city is big, so the chances of him being around are less than small. We will be home before him and before mom wakes up. They won’t notice a thing”.

“But dad is a policeman”, Ragnar muttered. “He will notice”.

“Dad is not a policeman”, Mini said, giving Ragnar a sudden nuggie over his bald head. “He’s a ninja. That’s different”.

“Doesn’t matter”, Joan said. “We’re not here to discuss dad’s profession but to see the city. Come on!”

The three kids hurried to the mouth of the alley, watching the street from a hiding spot in the shadows. They watched people walk up and down the street. Business men and women on their phones, walking with hurried steps, stressed over the conversation about money. Teenagers was laughing on the street corner, and a couple stood under the street light with their arms around each other. Mini wondered if that was what you and Raph used to do before you had kids. Just standing out in the open or on the roof with your arms around each other, looking deeply into each other.

“Where do you think dad is?”, Mini suddenly asked, looking up towards the roof at the thought of you and him in your young years.

“Right here”.

Joan almost pushed over a trash can at the sound of her father’s voice. Mini felt her soul leave her body and a shiver run down her spine. But Ragnar felt relief, running to his father with his arms open, hugging the lower half of his torso, even if Raph looked furious.

“Daddy!”, the young boy shrieked, hiding his face against Raph’s hip. Raph placed a hand on his son’s head in a comforting gesture, but his expression did not change, his other hand on his hip.

“How did you know we were out?”, Joan asked almost in disbelief.

“Your mother texted me”, Raph said. “Someone forgot to turn off their second alarm. It kept beeping until she went in to turn it off”.

Ragnar’s eyes widened. He looked up to find his father looking down at him, his sisters realizing what Raph had just said. The sound of Joan’s facepalm echoed in the alley.

“Ups”, Ragnar smiled sheepishly.

“Ups indeed”, Raph said.

Mini moved some dirt on the pavement with her foot, playing nervously with her hands. “Are we in trouble, dad?”

“Oh, yes you are”, Raph said. “All of you are grounded”.

Mini and Joan complained loudly, asking their father if he was serious. Ragnar, still too young to feel or understand the frustration of being grounded, continued to bury his face against Raph, a content smile spreading over his face.

“No complaining. Masks, now”, Raph said, holding out his hand. With a sigh the girls relented, handing their bandanas to their father. Ragnar, who was still glued to Raph’s side, did not fight nor complain when Raph took his bandana off.

Lifting Ragnar up in his arms, letting the boy hug him around his neck, Raph went to the manhole and pulled over the cover with one hand, turning to the two girls as he pointed down the black hole with a snap of his fingers. “Lair”, he said, watching as Joan and Mini dragged themselves towards the ladder, knowing fully well that you were waiting back home. Ragnar on the other hand was happy. He was going home to his mother while being carried in his father’s arms, and nothing bad had happened. At least nothing bad in Ragnar’s eyes.

[harlowsbby]

Request: jack and fiance yn get into an argument over children. Jack wants to get her pregnant, but still live his rapper life. Yn doesn't want to raise the baby alone while he tours. Jack says he understands, but yn fears Jack may become disappointed with time. Yn considers breaking-up, and Jack is heartbroken.

One last time

“I understand you want a family Jack but I also want you around I don’t want to be the only one raising a baby.” You were exhausted mentally and physically you didn’t have the energy to argue with him right now.

“I am going to be around but at the same time you need to understand my career is what’s going to be putting food in the babies mouth as well as clothes.”

You of course understood that but at the same time he was the one that begged and suggested that you quit your job and let him take care of you, which you sadly did. You didn’t mind staying home and relaxing but you missed being independent.

“I understand that Jack and I want a baby with you and to start a family but you have to look at things from my perspective.” You cried out as tears started to prickle the corner of your eyes.

Jack understood where you were coming from but at the same time he wanted to still do what he loved and had a passion for he already had people in the news and blogs saying he was some one hit wonder rapper and he so badly wanted to prove them wrong.

“So what are we going to do Y/N?” It was quiet for a few minutes the only sound coming from the clock that hung on the wall. “I just think it’s best we wait till you’re off tour and talk about this conversation again.” You shakily told him.

His jaw clenched and unclenched before he nodded. “Alright, that’s fine but I have to go to Nemo’s for a few days so I’ll see you when I get back baby.” Jack was going to Nemo’s for a bit to get things ready for tour and go over the set list and since Nemo recently moved he lived too far away to only make a day drip so spending a few nights was the only option.

“Are you upset with me?” You timidly asked him. He frowned sadly and caressed your knee and placed a soft and sweet kiss on your lips.

“I’m not mad baby girl we can talk about this when tour is over so don’t even sweat about it.” Jack always had this way of reassuring you but you just had this gut feeling that he’d be disappointed with time.

“I love you baby I’ll see you soon.” “I love you too Jack.”

____________________________________________

“I mean maybe you’re being a bit rational Y/N, I don’t think he’s ignoring you.” Your friend Mariah said as you flickered through all of Jack’s Instagram stories.

“Okay but explain how he can’t text me back but he can post on his Instagram? The math isn’t adding up at all Mariah.” You we’re beyond stress after Jack left he talked to you for a few days but eventually his answers got shorter and he stopped texting you back completely.

Now you knew he got busy and he had a tour to get ready for but a simple good morning text or a quick little voice note would do.

“I mean you’re right but doesn’t he come back home later tonight? Just confront him about it then.”

That was the thing you were thinking about breaking things off between Jack and You mainly because you felt as if you couldn’t give him what he wanted in life which was a family.

I mean there wasn’t anything wrong with you but you just had that fear of raising a child alone you wanted Jack to be there for all of the big moments, you didn’t want your child to have a absent father.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Mariah raised her left eyebrow waiting for an answer. “It’s nothing Mariah don’t worry about it.” She knew better than to question you further or keep bugging you but she knew you had something planned and it wasn’t anything good.

“Whatever you’re thinking about don’t even think about doing it.” She said. “Mariah, I just have to do what’s right for me and what I think is best for Jack.”

Mariah didn’t know much about Jack but she did know that he loved you very much and he’d do anything for you, Mariah knew you were over stressing and overthinking like always so she didn’t push the conversation any longer.

“Just promise me you won’t do anything you’ll regret.” Mariah didn’t want you to end things with Jack but she had this feeling that you might.

“I can’t promise you anything Mariah but let’s just enjoy the rest of the day.”

After you dropped off Mariah you started driving back home the entire time your mind was just flooded with Jack and what he was doing or how he was feeling. The last conversation the two of you had was about starting a family and you knew it hit a nerve for him.

Turning on the radio wasn’t helping so you tried singing along to the music but eventually just turned it off. Your anxiety was at an all time high and being with Jack and in his arms would be the only thing to heal it.

Once you arrived home you kicked and walked through the door you were greeted by your dog Charlie, going to give him some air kisses and a little belly rub is when you noticed the kitchen light was on, your eyebrows scrunched up in confusion because you could’ve swore you turned them off before you went out.

“Hello? Is anybody in there.” You mentally cursed you should’ve known better then to yell out randomly when someone could’ve been in your house with a weapon.

“Baby? Is that you.” “Jack?” When Jack came around the corner you immediately ran into him arms. “Jack I missed you so much.” He chuckled and brought his arms under your ass to help support you before leaning back onto the counter. You smiled softly and leaned into him before pressing your lips onto him, he happily returned the kiss.

You both eventually pulled away when you needed some air. “Where have you been? You haven’t been answering any of my calls or texts and your location is off.” You scolded him, Jack raised his hands in defense. “I was trying to surprise you baby but now that I’m here I think I need some much needed love and affection.”

He wiggled his eyebrows and started kissing your lips all the way down to your neck and even though you were enjoying this you also knew you had to bring up the whole baby conversation.

“Before we do that I think we need to talk.” “What’s up baby?” He smiled sweetly and it just made your heart sinker even more.

“Well I’ve been thinking about what we talked about the other day and I don’t want to be the reason as to why you don’t have the family you want and deserve.” With every word you spoke Jack’s face fell even more once the realization started to him.

“What are you trying to say Y/N?” He whispered, you couldn’t bare to look at him. You knew he was looking at you but you couldn’t bring it to yourself to look up and meet his burning gaze.

“I think I- I feel like it’s best that we maybe breakup I just don’t want to hold you back from having a family. I know how badly you want kids and I just think it’s best we end this.” Your voice cracked with every word spoken. Jack had tears of his own threatening to spill.

He wasn’t much of a cryer he didn’t want to seem weak in front of you but hearing these words coming out of your mouth was breaking his heart.

“This is what you want? And look at me Y/N.” It took you a minute but you ended up looking at him, Jack’s eyebrows were low and the once smile he had on his face earlier was replaced by a frown.

“I mean it’s not what I want but I just think you need to be with someone who will be able to give you what you want. I don’t think I can give you what you want Jack.” You whispered.

Jack didn’t do anything for a few minutes but you could tell he was thinking long and hard.

“Alright.” With that you watched how Jack took his keys and wallet and walked out the door. Once the door was slammed shut you lowered yourself to the floor and just cried, you didn’t want things to end like this but you wanted Jack to have the life he’s manifested and talked about.

While you were inside crying Jack was inside his car crying, he loved you so much but he figured the two of you just needed some much needed space for awhile at least until he cleared his mind. He put the car in reverse before driving off leaving you alone with your thoughts and the terrible decisions you just made.

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[astupidweeb69]

Unrequited (Yandere! Ticci Toby x Reader) Part 5

Next Chapters: Part 6, Part 7

Links to Previous Chapters: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, & Part 4

Author's Note: Well, I finally added Kate. I don't know how most people interpret her character, so I kind of used my own take on it. I’m thinking she’s probably around 26-27 years old, while Toby is like 20-23? And Tim and Brian are somewhere in between.

I just wanted some evil women to be in this too. And idk if her “advice” makes sense to everybody, but I know a lot of people who are around Kate’s age, and most of them HATE texting. I’ve received lectures similar to what she says so many times in my life lmao.

And this chapter may feel a bit rushed but… let’s just say it’s because I’m very excited to write the plot I set up for the next one. Cross-posted on my Ao3 account.

Warnings: Swearing. Brief descriptions of self-harm (like punching walls? idk if that counts). Sexual themes towards the end. (3,086 words).

*****************************

 Toby was furious.

 His thoughts were incoherent, an angry whirlwind of emotions. Nothing went the way he’d planned.

After he left your home, he marched back to the cabin to process what had happened. Of course, that only ended with him trashing the place. He screamed at nothing, threw everything in sight, and punched holes in the walls until finally, his body gave out.

Now he sat on the floor, back up against the wall, panting to catch his breath. For the first time in a long time, he felt tears threatening to form.

 You had rejected him.

 You didn’t feel the same.

 He was sure you had been flirting back with him. Every glance you took in his direction, all the times you made contact with his skin. He genuinely thought he’d picked up on some clever hint to kiss you. To make a move. A grand gesture of romance.

But he was wrong.

He fucked up.

And then he made the mistake of trying to call your “bluff”. Which only made you angrier.

The shock of being yelled at had been too much for him to deal with. And he reacted like he always did in those types of situations. With wrath. How could you possibly trust him after this?

Oh god, and you’d seen his face.

That horrific scar.

His heart tightened at the memory. He could barely breathe.

Fuck.

He needed to talk to you again.

If he just explained himself and apologized, you’d come around, right?  Give him another chance? It was only a misunderstanding. A tiny blip in what would become an intense love affair between the two of you. Something you’d both laugh at later down the road.

Toby shakily got up from the wooden floor, still exhausted from the outburst. Where was his phone? He had to find it immediately.

Frantically, his eyes scanned over every surface that it could be on. Did he throw it at one point? He couldn’t remember.

Tossing aside a few pillows, he finally recognized the black case on the ground.

The screen was cracked. Relief washed over him when the tiny monitor lit up; it still worked.

There was your name in his contact list, along with a couple others, but your conversation was the only one saved. The only person he wanted to form a real emotional bond with.

His fingers started to type on their own. Toby needed to resolve the issue as soon as possible. He couldn’t take it anymore.

‘I’m sorry about tonight’

The first text. It needed to be an apology. He needed to start off by admitting his fault.

‘I have trouble controlling my feelings. And I get scared when I’m rejected. I like you SO much (Y/N). I feel like such an ass, especially for scaring you. I don’t want you to be scared of me. Please please please give me another chance. I’ll make it up to you I swear.’

He waited for your response.

It didn’t come.

No.

This wasn’t happening.

It couldn’t be happening. He had to see you again. You HAD to be in his life in some way.

Toby paced around his home, chewing on his cheek. Blood gushed down his face from the gnawed flesh.

You were just busy right now. Probably talking to your friend.

That must be it.

You wouldn’t just ignore him like this. After all the moments the two of you shared together, he must’ve meant something to you.

 The phone buzzed.

 A reply.

 ‘Thank you for the apology, but there’s no way for me to know if it’s sincere. I feel like you could be using it to guilt me. I just can’t believe what you say Toby, and I think it’s better for both of us if we don’t see each other again. I wish you the best, and hopefully, you can learn from this in the future.’

His heart stopped.

 ….Oh God no.

 “NO! NO! NO!” He punched the wall next to him until his knuckles bled, painting the plaster with red streaks. “YOU CAN’T! YOU CAN’T! You… can’t…”

He started to cry.

Now the floodgates opened, and an ugly sob came from the boy. Curling up on a ratty couch, Toby shoved his face in the cushions to muffle the sounds.

He never did learn how to manage his feelings properly. He knew that there was some kind of mental illness that made it difficult for him. His fucked-up head, he thought bitterly. Controlled by The Operator and controlled by his disorders. There was always something preventing him from having people in his life.

Would he always be this lonely?

 Bang!

 Bang!

 Bang!

 Someone pounded on the front door.

 Toby peeked his head up from the sofa.

Who could that be?

Shit. He hoped it wasn’t Tim. That was the last person he needed to see in this state. But he had to talk to whoever it was in case there was a job.

A grin settled on his face.

Actually, that wasn’t a bad idea.

A little sadistic fun never hurt, well at least not him anyways. It could help him relieve some of these thoughts. Take them out on somebody else.

Maybe this would prove to be a good thing.

The door swung open, the visitor being too impatient to wait any longer.

Long matted dark brown hair that was almost black, hazel eyes, camping gear strapped to the back.

It was Kate.

“Toby! You home? Sorry, I let myself in I-” She stopped mid-sentence, noticing the mess surrounding her, dark stare settling on the culprit.

“Holy shit what happened here?” She let out a worried laugh. “It looks like a tornado came through. Are you okay? Did you have another episode?”

The older proxy dropped her bags and walked over, kneeling to get a better look at his condition. Toby was slumped over, sluggishly sitting up, refusing to look directly at her. Ashamed to be seen in such a vulnerable way.

Kate was the nicest person he had in his life. Besides you. After all, she was still a proxy.

The problem was that she was hardly ever around. Unlike him, or even Tim and Brian, Kate never settled down in one place for long. She was nomadic, carrying all her earthly possessions in a backpack. Being the fastest and most agile proxy, it was easy for her to hunt individual trespassers and take them down, so she was almost always on the job.

However, once in a blue moon she would stop in to see him. Kate and Toby had a somewhat strong connection. Not unlike how Tim and Brian were attached to each other, and while Brian could be nice to Toby at times, he mostly did it out of necessity. Kate, on the other hand, was kind to Toby in ways that reminded him of his older sibling. Not that he liked comparing her to Laura… or was it Lyra? Sometimes he had a hard time remembering the name. That’s what his journal was for.

“Do you want to talk about it? I won’t make fun of you. No matter how tempted I am.” She sat down next to him, rubbing his back reassuringly.

Toby took a shaky breath, comforted by the gesture. “I-I… fuh-fuck… give me a suh-second…”

He didn’t know how much to share with her. He didn’t want to put you in any danger, and while Kate may have been nice to him, there’s no telling how she’d react to learning about his obsession with a “human”.  

She was more… fanatical when it came to serving The Operator.

Different proxies had different levels of devotion to the being, as well as their own unique reasons for serving it. Brian was more apathetic, not caring one way or the other, viewing it like any other profession. Something to train for and do well. Tim was more complex, a mixture of apathy, fear, and at times enthusiasm, mainly when in the act of killing.

Most proxies had no memory of their past lives, no ways to connect to whoever they were before. That’s why it was easy for them to refer to anyone who didn’t serve The Operator as only being “humans”. It was a way to completely remove themselves from the species, to look at them as nothing but an inconvenience or a tool to gain favor with the malevolent entity dictating their lives.

But Toby was a special case. He could still remember. He hadn’t been a proxy for as long as the others and could still picture the faces of his mother and sister. He even knew what his shithead father looked like, especially after he hacked him to pieces. These were the reasons he found it hard to go on. Pretending to everyone that he didn’t resent The Operator’s control at times. That he never longed to try to have a normal life. Maybe kill the occasional abusive dad he might come across. But other than that, be an average everyday person.

And here you came along. An answer to his prayers.

But things were complicated now.

 He needed advice.

 “I muh-may have… messed up?”

Kate snorted. “Okay… wanna try being more specific maybe?”

Toby picked at the skin of his hands, peeling the areas around his nails.

“I sort of... luh-like somebody…” He trailed off.

It’s not like it was uncommon for proxies or killers to date and hook up with each other. Although everyone knew Toby never had any luck with the others in that department. But despite that, if he kept the conversation vague enough… it should be fine.

“Oh shit! Really?” Caught off guard, the brunette quickly tried to dial it back. “I mean…wow. I didn’t really expect that… who?”

Did he really have that bad of a reputation within their group that it was this much of a surprise to her? It was a little insulting.

“I don’t want to say.” Toby snapped. His temper was starting to get the better of him. And he didn’t want to share any sensitive information.

Luckily, Kate never took what Toby did personally. “Okay- you don’t have to tell me… but watch your tone young man.” She joked.

“Suh-sorry. I’m just really upset. We had a fuh-fight and I don’t know what to do.” He felt like a kid asking their mom for help. But he was desperate.

Toby couldn’t stand the idea of you walking around hating him. Sure, his plans included taking you back to his home, most likely by force, but he thought he would’ve had more opportunities for you to get to know him in a more… conventional way.

“Have you apologized to this… person?” Kate asked, carefully choosing her words. Picking up on how defensive he was being.

“Yeah! I duh-did and-“

She interrupted, “Wait. Did you do it in person or over text?” There was a sternness in her voice at the question. Like Kate was already accusing him of doing something wrong.

“Over text….” He admitted.

“See, that was your first mistake. If you’re going to have an important conversation with someone you need to have it in person. Otherwise, things can get lost in translation. You should speak to them face to face and apologize formally.”

The younger proxy tilted his head, “What if they duh-don’t want to see me?”

Kate sighed. “Well… sometimes you just have to show up. I mean, imagine trying to explain a misunderstanding to someone like Jeff over text…” She paused, scrunching up her face. “Well, that’s not a good example. You would have to call him or else he’d try to stab you. But you know what I mean. People like… us … are quick to just remove people from our lives if we’re hurt. But with our jobs, every connection with other killers or proxies needs to be maintained. Especially since The Operator demands it. So, you should go and see them…. when you’ve calmed down, of course.”

It was clear the brunette was applying her own work experiences to giving Toby guidance. Kate was always well-liked, and in a group full of murderers and malicious beings with untreated mental illnesses, that was no small feat.

But regardless, her explanation made sense. Even though Kate didn’t understand the full context of what happened, her advice probably still applied, right? Sure, you weren’t a killer, but Kate had the best grasp on how to handle disputes out of anyone he knew. If you just took the time to see how sorry he was, and all the effort he was putting in to fix the relationship, then you’d have to forgive him.

“Thuh-thanks. I’ll make sure to do that. I feel like shit that we huh-haven’t gotten the chance to see each other in a while and this….” Toby gestured vaguely to their surroundings. “Is what you fuh-find.”

Kate smiled. “Don’t worry, I get it.”

The fact that it was her that showed up today was very convenient. She was one of the few people who knew Toby well enough to calm him down.

It was almost too convenient.

He narrowed his eyes, looking out the cabin window. Was his boss around? “Anyways, I nuh-never asked you why you’re here.”

“Well, I figured I was long due for a bath. And I wanted to see my favorite proxy. Why, not happy to see me?” She huffed, feigning offense.

“Nuh-no! That’s not it. I just wuh-wasn’t sure if there was a job or something we needed to do.”

The brunette’s eyes glinted with admiration, flashing a small yet strangely sinister smirk. “It’s good you take our work seriously. It’s always best to have The Operator smiling favorably upon us.”

Toby shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Sometimes she spoke like a weird cult member. It made his skin crawl, reminding him that despite her soothing demeanor around her peers, Kate could be one of the most brutal and wild killers when carrying out their boss’s orders. Maybe that’s why she always stayed in the forest.

“I’ll be out of your hair in an hour or two. Sadly, there aren’t any sacrifices to make today. I hate having nothing to do.” She grumbled the last part before getting up to grab her bag. “Mind if I take that shower now?”

“No, guh-go right ahead. Not like I pay the water bill for this puh-place.” Toby quipped, shrugging his shoulders with a crack of his joints.

When Kate left the room, he mulled over what actions he needed to take next. Everything was just “lost in translation” as the older proxy said. His mistake was only in how he delivered his apology.

There was hope for him after all. This could be fixed and then you and Toby could be together again. Have the life he knew you two could have.

After everything subsided and he felt at ease, his mind wandered to that passionate kiss he had shared with you. Sure, in retrospect he definitely shouldn’t have done that, but it was nice in the moment. How your lips felt against his, your warm body squirming under him.

It was electric.

If only things had gone well, if you didn’t find him so… repulsive now. Maybe he could’ve taken things further. But there was always time for that later. When he had more time to convince you that he was made for you.

Your mind as well as your body.

 … Especially body.

 He grinned, getting up to stretch out his muscles. Today was more exhausting than usual after the rollercoaster of feelings he’d gone through. Toby needed rest, and once he felt more confident, he’d pay you a surprise visit. Bring some sort of peace offering. Weren’t guys supposed to give flowers when they wanted to be forgiven? Like those crappy husbands who cheat on their wives.

Not that he wanted to be lumped in with those dudes.

Toby made his way to his room, making sure the door was locked behind him. Even though he trusted Kate, he didn’t want to take any chances.

He could still hear her showering and she would probably be a while. She wasn’t the most hygienic person.

Not that he was one to talk, but he didn’t like having that much blood and dirt caked on him for too long. Kate, however, didn’t seem to mind it. Toby had been assigned on a weeklong mission with her once and as soon as she got “in the zone” the older female was practically feral. Showers just weren’t in her vocabulary at that point.

Lying on his bed, he opened his phone to look through his camera roll. Something he did routinely now before trying to fall asleep… for many reasons.

It was full of photos he’s taken of you over these past months.

Having an outdated phone never really bothered him before, but now he wished he had one that could take better pictures. Especially the ones he took at night. Those always come out too grainy.

Unconsciously, a wistful smile tugged on the corners of his mouth. He couldn’t help it. It always happened when he saw you. He scrolled through each photo, taking in every part of you he managed to capture. His mind had almost everything memorized.

“(Y/N)…” He whispered.

Sometimes he just liked to say it. Simply enjoying the sound. How it tasted with every syllable.

Now that he had time to relax, it occurred to him how surprising his argument with you had gone. Every day there was something new he was learning about you. You were actually kind of brave, even if it was to the point of being stupid. But you had stood up to him when he’d lost his cool. Him. A murderous proxy. A serial killer. You didn’t know that, but it was still obvious he could overpower you.

Yet thinking of the passion and determination in your eyes as you stared him down made him shiver with delight.

He loved it.

Toby could feel himself growing tired, lazily flipping through a couple more photos before he’d call it a night.

He stopped.

A picture of you undressing in front of your bedroom window.

Your underwear even matched that day.

His cheeks reddened, a familiar feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach.

He reached a clammy hand into the case of his pillow, retrieving a pair of plain black panties he’d stolen from your house.

 He figured he could stay awake a little longer…

[xbunny-k]

The Actor & I: PART TEN – Austin, You Don’t Have to Come get Me

This is part TEN of a very long, SLOW BURN series on Austin Butler and a Production Assistant on set of Elvis (2022).

Masterlist here!

Anything italicized is main character’s thoughts!

Warnings: Fluff, eventual Spoilers for Elvis (2022), mild language (If i missed anything, please comment so i can add!)

Tags: @manddor @pumkiinpasties​ @its-funny-til-its-not​ @karamelcoveredolicity @butlerstyles @feral4austinbutler @mirandastuckinthe80s @emilykolchivans @atombombbibunny @francescababy @starry-night-20 @yeetfack-blog @milaa24 (Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

Please, if you like this, share it, comment, like it and enjoy! xx

The rest of the day flies by and by 8 PM, I’ve gone to the gym, showered and made some dinner. As I sit down to eat, I pick up my phone and feel a bit of sadness Austin hasn’t texted me at all today. Ana, he’s literally a famous actor…with a famous girlfriend… And he had the biggest day of his career so far.

I eat dinner, get ready for bed and then slide into my bed and pull up Instagram. As my mind wanders, I decide to send Austin a text. Couldn’t hurt, right? I did say I’d call him later, maybe he was waiting on me?

“Hope you had the best day celebrating Aus. Warner Brothers is so proud you’re our Elvis!!”

I hit send and wait a few minutes before feeling a wave of disappointment flush over me. I decide to call it a night and go to bed…the earliest I’ve gone to sleep all week. As my alarm goes off the next morning, I feel instant disappointment to see I have zero notifications from Austin. I get ready for the day and head to the office.

The workday drags on, but eventually it’s almost 7 PM and time to head home. Still nothing from Austin? Did I do something? The rest of my night feels as routine as my day. Gym, shower, dinner, get ready for bed. What did I say to him? It feels weird to go a day without talking to him. As I double check my alarm is set for the next day, I fall asleep wonder what I could have done or said.

The next morning, I feel a bit of ease knowing at least it’s Friday. As I get ready for work, I decide since I have plans right after work to put a little more effort into my appearance. Spending more time now just means I have less to do later when I get back from work. I put on a black, tank blazer dress with some black strappy heels and my signature gold jewelry. I look professional, but chic at the same time. My long hair is curled but brushed out for soft waves. I have a good “no make-up” make-up look on and I’m lotion-ed up to the nines. I spray my favorite perfume, grab my work bag and coffee and head out the door.

My car gives me a bit of trouble, but eventually starts. Not today, just let me get to work and back today and I’ll take you in tomorrow, please. I make it to the office and relax a bit. The day flies by, it seems everyone is in the mindset that it’s summer, time to head home for a summer weekend. I have quite a bit to do as I was given a ton of reels of film, press clippings and more that I offered to organize and bring to Austin next week. If he still wants me to that is… I wonder where he’s been… I miss him…

As I start to wrap up, I realize it’s almost 7:30 PM and I’m the only one in the office. Crap, I have plans tonight! Get out of here, Ana. I finish up and head to my car…which won’t start. Shit, shit, shit! Come on. Just get us home, please. After much pleading in my mind, I’ve given up. This car is not starting.

Before pulling out my phone to call for a tow, I sit there and stare ahead. What started as such a great week as turned into a week of loneliness. Why did I miss talking to Austin so much? He’s clearly just busy and this is just a work relationship, not a friendship to him. As I’m on the verge of making myself cry over literally…nothing, I pull out my phone and send a text to my friends to let them know I’ll either be very late or not coming. I’ll keep them posted. I’m really not in the mood to even go out. I want to change into some pajamas and curl up with some wine and a book in bed.

As I go to google for a local towing company, my phone is buzzing with a phone call. Great, Kelsey is calling to harass me into having a tow truck drop me off directly at dinner. I don’t even check who it is knowing my best friend won’t let me out of plans so easily and answer with a bit of an attitude that soon turns tear filled, “Kels, I can’t get to dinner. I’ve had a bad few days and now my car won’t start. I’m alone in a dark parking lot and just want to get home and do nothing.”

“Anastasia, are you okay? Do you need me to come get you,” Austin firmly says back. Shit, what did I do? I put the phone down and see the contact says Mr. Presley, not Kelsey. Shit, you stupid idiot! Why would you answer like that? Austin cuts off your train of thought, “Ana, are you sitting alone? Where are you? Can you go inside so you’re not alone outside.”

I sit there for a second, trying to stop sounding like I just finished crying from feeling overwhelmed and finally respond back, “I’m outside my office, I think the door locked when I left, but I can see if I can get back in I guess. My car won’t start, it’s an older car, so it happens sometimes.”

I hear a sigh of relief come through the phone and Austin firmly responds, “Grab your stuff and see if you can get back in. Did you call a tow truck already?” My stomach feels like its tying itself in knots and I choke back, “Not yet, I was in the middle of…” and before I can finish Austin cuts me off, “Send me your location and I’ll get one sent to you, but Ana, don’t hang up.”

I giggle and for the first time today, feel a bit more at ease. How does he make me feel like this? I feel like I’m floating. As I head to the office door, the ID badge buzzes, but the door doesn’t unlock. Shit. “Ana, was that the door,” Austin asks in a very serious tone. “Uhh, yeah, it won’t unlock. I’m gonna go back to my car.” As I get back into my car, I feel more tears coming on for some reason. Ana, what is with the crying? “I’m gonna call a tow truck, Austin. I’ll give you a call later,” I sniffle through the phone trying to hold back tears. “Ana, lock your doors, send me your location please,” Austin demands. I put him on speaker and text him my pin. “I just sent to you, but I need to call a tow truck, it’s gonna take them so long to get to me.” As I’m about to hang up, I hear a dial tone coming through.

“I’m calling one with you on the line right now so you can give them the info about your car,” Austin says. Ana, keep it together. He’s just being nice. I can’t hold it in, I mute my phone and burst into tears. I feel so overwhelmed and just don’t understand why I feel so emotional. Ana, snap out of it. You can keep it together for a call. “Thank you, Austin,” I whisper hoping he can’t hear my bubbling tears.

A towing company answers and Austin takes the lead of the conversation and I confirm my location, car, and instructions on how to get through the gates. As the towing company gives me a sixty-to-eighty-minute range, they hang up and I just sigh. What a Friday night. “Thanks Austin, but I got it from here. I really appreciate your help, but don’t want to keep you from your night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

As I go to hang up before I burst into tears for some reason, Austin firmly says, “Ana, I’m coming to get you. Can you just stay on the line until I’m there?” He’s coming…here? Whaat? Why? Ana, what? Why would he come here? Shit! What do I look like? “Uhhh, Austin, you don’t have to come get me. The tow truck will take me home, it’s fine.” Austin laughs, “I’m already in the car on my way, Ana. It says 20 minutes.” I can hear him smiling on the other end of the phone.

Shit, shit! He’s coming here, what do I do? I was CRYING, I look a mess. I can’t believe Austin is coming here… to get me…

[fayes-fics]

*slides in late in my socks across the wooden floor* AMA Night you say?!

No, no, I don't think my ask is too bad. You write mostly requests but if you could ever revisit any of your earlier fics, are there any you would want to redo or write a remix of?

Also, any new snippets from upcoming Anthony fics you'd be ok with sharing? Love ya!

Hi lovely (sock sliding) friend! 🫶

Bwhaha never too late to do ama!

Hmm what a great question, Dr Evil lol. 🤔

Do you know what? I don’t think so. Every fic I write is a product of its time and I sort of like that. Some of my early stuff might be a bit cringe, but I haven’t re-read the vast majority to be sure tbh. Once something is posted, it’s rare I reread. How about you? Any of yours that you would want to redo?

The only x reader remix I’ve done so far was a suggestion/request. I’d be open to receiving remix asks when I reopen to requests.

There are certainly universes I’d like to revisit - not change the existing content, but adding to it. Most recently, Mrs Bridgerton has gotten under my skin in a way I can’t quite explain. I get the feeling one day I would like to revisit that world, even if I’m not sure what or how.

In terms of older fics, I don’t know that I’ll ever be done with the Moments one-shots. That family is just too precious to me lolol.

And, as you know, I’m planning to revisit the Are We Friends? world soon 😁

Speaking of Anthony fics, gosh okay. a snippet. Errr a lot of what I have is too spoilery tbh or not even remotely polished enough to share. I’m so so sorry about that, I will get on more right away 🫣 I will try to share a snippet later tonight

Thank you for your ask and my apologies 🥹😁🧡🧡

[hananzaki]

Mik, Madi and Hanan chat and plan for a slice of happiness post doppelgängers trauma.

@stranded-mik @madibyrd

Mik wandered over to one of the bonfires, eager for some easy conversation and an extra warm night. At least the glowing sand made it easy for him to move around at night, like a neon highway from their tent to the main settlement. Mik slipped into an easy jog as he got nearer and nearer, spotting two familiar figures near the fire.

"Hey, if it isn't my favourite ladies," Mik grinned as he approached. "Little jungle reunion, huh? The dream team!" he beamed, looking around to see if Harry was lingering around as well. No sign of her, probably for the best. He offered out his fist to the ladies to tap, if they wanted. He would make the fistbump take off on this damn island.

Mik looked between the two of them, wondering too late whether he was interupting them. If maybe he was shooting himself in the wing. "Unless... I can leave if you two are..." Mik looked between them suggestively, proudly, as if he was the minister asking them to take their vows.

–

Hanan had taken to sitting out each night, either chatting to people over dinner or simply listening to their stories. Now more so than ever she wanted the company of others to help blitz the time away. Madi was easy to talk to, and Hanan didn't necessarily feel the impetus to be overly polite.

In-fact just before they were interrupted she'd been asking Madi, 'how she was diddly doing?' but the question fell to the wayside as a bright, and welcome face loomed. Hanan immediately leapt at the chance to fistbump Mik. "Hey! No totally chill you can come sit with us."

"How is everyone? Post la jungle drama?" Hanan scooted over so there was space for Mik to plop himself down, and turned so she could sit with her legs crossed and face them both. "The sand is real cool huh? I'm obsessed it's the coolest thing to happen out of all of this!" They had to look for silver linings.

–

Madi wasn't really one to sit out by the fire where a lot of people gathered just to hang out and chat with them - she was more comfortable with the people she was close with or just spending the night alone. But she was trying to change that so when she found Hanan, she decided to stay out.

They already interacted before, was in the jungle together, so there was a certain kind of comfortable but also new since they really didn't know each other. "I'm doing--" she started to reply to Hanan when Mik appeared.

Madi quickly turned all red at his words. "What? No, you can join, there's nothing-- nothing like that." She was absolutely not looking at either of them now. "I'm-- doing okay, I guess. Been better before, but-- getting there. What about you guys" And then she added, "The sand is kinda new, not really sure how I feel about it yet."

–

So apparently Mik could join in with them. He sat down in the place Hanan cleared. Hanan seemed very cool about it, while Madi turned red like a cute cherry tomato. He saw her. A little flustered around Hanan. He'd have to corner her alone later and ask her whether she needed any help with wooing Hanan. "Great, it sounds like we're all doing well," Mik smoothly said, choosing to live and believe that tonight. He'd been morbid enough about what had happened. So much so he neatly ignored that Madi had been better, and that Hanan hadn't answered.

"I think the sand is pretty cool, yeah. It makes me feel like we should be throwing an island moon party every night!" Mik grinned, busting out some chill dance moves. He nudged Madi's shoulder, laughing at himself. "You guys ever go to Thailand? The moon parties sure were something. What do you guys think? We could charge admission fees. Like a coconut per entry?"

–

Between Mik’s impending arrival, which then turned into a bright and bubbly golden ray of light, and Madi’s quiet admission of being okay but not quite. Hanan was lost. She blinked between them both feeling a little bamboozled and overdosed as Mik shifted in the sand to get comfortable and Hanan felt every grain do a little dance.

Mik had decided for her that she was okay, which was fine cause honestly Hanan didn’t really fancy opening that topic up! “No, wait what’s a moon party?” She leant forwards, wrapping her hands about her ankles not sure but eager regardless. Though she’d never really been one for parties. “Maybe we need a distraction?”

“I bet we could bottle up the sand! Turn it into island-friendly fairy lights? I uh, I don’t know how we’d get the bottles though.” Hanan pursed her lips, losing her train of thought to this one specific silly unimportant detail.

–

At least Mik didn't press the thing further and Madi felt like she could relax a bit. That was what she wanted - the chance to relax and hang out with people, make some friends. They were already bonded by the Labyrinth and both of them seemed great and fun, just in their own different ways.

"Never been to Thailand before. Never really been outside of the States before getting here, actually," Madi admitted. "But yeah, what is a moon part?" There was something about miners that Madi knew, something about miners' bare backsides up in shafts being called something moon related, but this couldn't just be like that, a naked party, right?

"The bottling up is a good idea, though yeah, not a lot of bottles anymore. I was wondering, though if maybe... I don't know, what if we could make glass out of this sand. Would the glass glow as well? Or it would be just a simple glass?"

–

The dream team was united! Mik beamed happily, grateful for the good vibes that were already brewing up between the three of them. "A moon party is like, these raves they host on Thailand on the beach during a full moon, yeah? I want you to picture like sparklers, glowsticks, fairylights, fire skipping ropes, walking on coals. Like, we've got the beach, we've got the moon..." Mik waggled his shoulders, all big ideas and never one to say no to a party. If he didn't mention the shitload of E and coke he had at his last moon party, or the buckets of alcohol that other people tended to gorge themselves on, who could blame him.

"Hey, hey, hey..." Mik started, as Hanan and Madi rapid fired off two great ideas after one another. "Our own moon party yeah. Hanan, I love the thoughts of glowing sand fairylights. And Madi..." Mik clapped his arm around her shoulder, squeezing her tight as he barked out a cheerful laugh. "You know I run the forge, yeah?" He didn't know that melted sand formed glass, but if she said it did, he'd give it a shot. "We should try it," he suggested, spotting an empty coconut shell. He let go of Madi and grabbed it, scooping it full of sand. "Let's go ladies!" he grinned.

–

“Glowing glass…” Hanan echoed, the thought was super exciting. Would it be reminiscent of radium glassware? She’d only discovered that people had done that fairly recently. Which had inspired an all-night binge consuming everything she could come across for the neon green goblets. “Wait you run the forge Mik? That’s super cool! Did you do smithing before you got here?” Which, given he was from the same era she was meant he was even nerdier than she thought.

“I’ve been making little coconut sugar treats! Could totally make some moon shaped? Keep up with the theme.” That the sort of thing Mik was thinking of for their party? More direct to Madi she asked, “whereabouts in the states where you from? I totally get it. I don’t think I would’ve ever left either if hadn’t have needed to for comps.” That and family, but it wasn’t worth delving into that here and now.

Hanan put a hand to Mik’s shoulder. “Okay, so like maybe we do a test run? Melt the sand down and see if it still glows? This could be so, so cool! Imagine glowing cups for everyone to drink juice out of. Better yet think of the creative opportunities! I never watched that glass Netflix show but someone who’s totally more into all the cool funky art stuff could make some totally cool sculptures.”

–

Okay, so it wasn't a naked party, that was a win, that was good. And really, it could be fun. Fun was what she needed. Granted, at parties usually alcohol came out, but there was a shortage and anyway, she could stay away. Hopefully.

"Oh, I'm from Boston, what about you? Did you move around a lot?" she asked back from Hanan. She wasn't quite sure what comps were, but that wasn't really the point hopefully.

And then Mik was there, announcing he was running the forge and Madi really has been gone from the farm a long time because she had no idea Mik was running the forge. But she was glad to not focus on that, instead focus on the plans. "I don't know much about glass making either, I just know it has to happen at a really high heat. But yeah, we have a forger in our midst, we should do tests and see what we can make happen. It could be fun and soooo pretty. Not that this place needs more things to be pretty, it's already gorgeous, it's just-- you know what I mean. It could be really cool."

–

Mik beamed as Madi called him the forger, that title enough to keep the dream of glowy glass to decorate the festival alive. "That's right ladies, you're talking to the owner-operator of the Hot and Hard forge right here," Mik said with all the pomp and pride of a peacock, jutting his thumbs into his chest. "Darling, you think I ever did something as butch as forging out in the real world?" Mik teased Hanan in his most camp voice, winking at her. "That's the good thing about this place, you know? Get to reinvent yourself, do all sorts of new things." It was a silver lining Mik clung to.

He let the ladies do their little yankie-doodle networking as they walked to the forge, his favourite pet project now that BeachFit was on a hiatus. Mik pulled out the ceramic pot he used for melting metal and started to stack the firepit with wood. "I like the thought of melting shit and seeing what happens, yeah?" Mik asked the women, pulling out his rather newly acquired lighter and getting the fire going. "The way I see it, Madi, you help me make the fire burn real hot, yeah? Hanan, do you think you could like, control the melted glass?" It was a question that had been rattling around Mik's head, whether he could rope in an earth-attuned to help with the metal shaping. "Like, sand is earth, right? And this is just going to be hot, sticky sand?"

–

Even Hanan couldn't help but giggle at Mik's attempt at an ever so camp suggestion over the forge. "Hey! I don't really know what you did or didn't do." Though she had an inkling because she'd listened to a podcast about him. She turned to Madi, her smile flowing into something a little warmer and less over exaggerated. "Oh! Boulder, sorta technically." If it was a question of where she'd grown up, which usually was what people wanted to know. Place of birth wasn't so-so exciting when she'd scarcely ever spent time there.

"I have nooo idea if I can control the sand but hey! It's worth a shot isn't it? I'm still so new to everything, every time I think I'm making improvements something totally unexpected happens!" Hanan smiled, happy either way to help out though she imagined Mik and Madi would be more in tune with the forge. The real dream team.

[apatchedupdoll]

There’s a lot on Tumblr that I didn’t know I needed in my life. It gets distracting, but then sometimes it flares me up into wanting to make more. It drives me to want to make, either the art style, the ideas, the stories, or something else that makes me want to create. Even if it’s not drawing it could be writing or something else. That being said! Here’s todays art dump <3

This is pretty much finished, I may add some detail and touches later, but so far I’m happy with it.

The Komoraku or whatever I’m gonna call it is also going okay. I’ve colored everything, I just need to start adding detail, maybe a little more color differations but it seems to be going on fine. I’ll probably finish this tonight after I work.

Oh look! Turtle ocs? Nah it couldn’t be. Totally not a bunch of characters I made for the Prisoner’s Bale story. But seriously this is a lot of fun. This is pretty much the first iteration of the family so things could massively change before anything is set in stone. I’ve already changed Tobi’s age like 3 times already. I’m not totally convinced by Sophie’s design and Alex’s patters need some work for sure. There are a few other things I’m thinking about but you’ll have to wait for those changes to find out.

So why am I showing off the characters of Prisoner’s Bale? Well if I haven’t said or made it clear in my last posts (idk man sometimes I don’t make things easy) I’ve decided I’m going to make a comic for the story. Unlike Oh, Where Have You Been Brother? this one will be thought out very extensively. Think of this as sharpening my blade before I even try the Mother’s Land comic. ‘But wait, if you’re making two stories for rottmnt, then why are you making something that doesn’t relate at all?’ I hear you ask curiously while trying to get the cookie jar from the top of the fridge while I start to monologue. Ah, well I really like rottmnt and (as much as I’m happy we’re getting a new movie) I really don’t want to let it go just yet. I find fanfictions are the perfect way to help skills develop. If you’ve seen my Oh, Where Have You Been Brother? you may notice my writing skills are shit. I’ve also realized I tend to write myself into corners without realizing it before the last minute and have to rewrite almost everything, in fact I had a plan and when I posted the latest chapter I realized, oh wait oh shit fuck that means that this won’t work so that means oh god oh fuck shit fuck! I’ll let you guess what I fucked up lol. The point is I’m using my love of TMNT to help me develop better skills for projects that don’t need and can’t have the crutches fanfictions give. Does that mean all TMNT fanfictions do this? No, but this is what I use it for. I just feel like acknowledging it is good and something I shouldn’t be ashamed of.

So that’s my ramble. I hope y’all like the art. Maybe you found something useful and relatable hehehe. Oh and chapter 5 of OWHYBB is on its way. I can see it being finished around Thursday, but spring break is also over tomorrow so bleh! Things will def slow down when writing, still will have daily art uploads. Have a good day! I hope y’all remember not to eat too many cookies!

[tkeyahwrotethis]

Six: If your Love was all I had in this Life, That Would Be Enough Until the End of Time

I’m a freelance journalist that works for customers that don’t pay me nearly close to my worth. I like to interview muses with potentially interesting stories when I noticed another freelancer interested in the same person’s story. I figured I could forestall the muse from making any hasty decisions and picking the other journalist if I sucked up to him, showing him I’m the best obvious choice.

When I tried to get the potential muse to see the story I’m pitching from my angle, he would always change the subject. It felt like talking to a brick wall and his indirect eye contact and roundabout conversation made me believe he’s already made up his mind to work with the other journalist. I didn’t let it dampen my spirits, it’s Friday! I just sent one last email wishing him all the best on his future endeavors.

I needed a nice hot steamy shower after the day I had, I felt a little disappointed the day didn’t go quite as planned. I strip down naked , light a stress relief eucalyptus candle, and hop in the shower. Afterwards, I laid in my towel on my bed aimlessly scrolling thru my phone. I received a text from a long distance friend from college , Chelsea. Chelsea was wayyyy more confident than I am and a lot more extroverted.

HEYYY BITCHH!!! I’m in town tonight!!! Let’s hit the club tonight I need to shake my ass! First round of shots on me !!

My bed, my apartment, the ice cream in the freezer, and the new episode of Love Island sounded like a much better evening to me, but she’s rarely in town so why not. Before I could respond with my half assed “ yeah I’ll go”, she double texted saying she wasn’t taking no for an answer regardless. She knows me well.

We met at the club around 11 and we are dressed to the absolute 9’s! Hair and makeup looking pageant ready. By 2 A.M. I’m breaking the seal while Chelsea is on the dance floor grinding on a guy that exactly her type. I stumbled to the bar to get some water in my system when a handsome guy pushed up behind my ass asking me what I’m drinking on tonight. I looked behind me, smiling at him, “just some water” I said while holding up my glass. “Actually I’m sober I don’t even drink!” I slurred my words lying blatantly. He offered to buy me a shot of anything I wanted to I told him I’d only drink 1942 tequila. To my surprise there was a shot of top shelf tequila in front of me in a matter or seconds. After I downed the shot, he led me to the dance floor where we danced all night.

When the night came to a natural conclusion, Chelsea and I split a cab and went our separate ways. “Text me when you get home! Love ya!” I tipsily told Chels. We pecked on the lips and I closed the cab door.

I woke up the next morning with a bit of a hangover. I check for my phone and it’s in my purse when I noticed a business card in my bag. It just had a Facebook profile with a name attached. I searched it on my FB app on my phone and the profile picture was just literally the number 4. Curiously, I added the number 4 profile and slide in their Dms.

Who you are and what gives you the right to slip something in my purse ?!?!

The profile answered me after about an hour or so later.

Hi!! I’m so happy you responded 3! I’m 4! The internet has become overrun by these robots with no real personality, we call them Echos. There are only 4 real people in the world influencing the internet. The echos take pieces of real people and post it on the internet. They are more famous so they always overshadow the truth.

4 further explained to me that they’ve made contact with me,3, and two, but has no idea who 1 might be. 4 told me a suspicion that 1 might be actually rich and famous because the job of an A list celebrity is to inspire and have fans imitate them. They’d be even harder to find.

The only celebrity coming to town was Justin Timberlake. He’s charismatic, sexy, he can sing and dance. He’s literally America’s golden child since his Disney days and soo unproblematic. We got our tickets and decided to meet at the concert, and figure out if Justin Timberlake is our number 1.

The days leading up to the concert my mental health was on the decline. I was seeing so many targeted ads that seemed like something I could have said or might have written but it was absolutely not my work. I felt like an imposter. I started questioning everything , wondering if maybe I’m the one who is an Echo. Am I an echo of something bigger than me? Am I an original truth? I’m not rich or famous. Am I enough? Despite all my doubt about being number 3, I made my way to the concert.

4 and I agreed to take the train to NYC together. I had a personal bottle of Henny in my bag because I was nervous as fuck about this whole ordeal: meeting a stranger, and going to a concert together to see if Justin Timberlake is a real person. This all sounds crazy!

When I met 4 she wasn’t what I expected at all . She was a bit Grunge and beyond talented musically she could sing beautifully and plays guitar. I told her I write and I’m a journalist. I shared some of my bottle with her and we got a bit more comfortable with each other. 2 was waiting for us on the train platform in NYC she was covered in body glitter, wore a skimpy little outfit, and was supper bubbly. 2 is a dancer! We all took a swig of liquor as a friendship initiation and got everyone on the same page. We assessed the scene and noticed our echos. They were better dressed , more expensive outfits and some just all together better looking . It was intimidating to be us and even though the Echos look like the real deal , we wanted to meet the one !!

When we got in the concert Justin’s performance was BEYOND amazing!! Although he wasn’t doing a meet and greet or anything, he did say a cryptic message saying he’s the one, and he WAVED in our direction. I literally almost fucking fainted ! We screamed and put out hands in the air with excitement because deep down we knew he was talking to us. 2,4 and I felt euphoric. After the concert we kept in touch to try and navigate how to be real and stay true to ourselves and our truth in a world full of echos.

The End !

[sunday--is--gloomy]

I was talking to some friends tonight and one of them brought up their plans to go and celebrate the birthday of a friend who committed suicide at the beginning of this year and it made me think a little bit about some stuff.

I used to go to school with this girl named Courtney, like, a long time ago. We were in the same class in, like, fourth grade after I moved ~100 miles away from my old school, and we continued to go to school together for a couple more years until I moved again, and eventually she switched schools as well so she wasn’t there when I eventually moved back. 

And, like, it’s no secret that I was not having a good time through pretty much all of my childhood. I wasn’t good at making friends, I wasn’t good at *keeping* friends, I was going through too much at home to have the nerve to be social so I just sort of pretended to cope because I didn’t have a choice. On top of that, the town we’d moved to was MUCH smaller and one of those towns where everyone already knew everyone else, so I was awkward, traumatized AND an outsider.

The year before we moved, I’d invited like my whole class to come over on my birthday and only one person came-- only one other person called to say they couldn’t, and everyone else just didn’t show up. And it sucked. So, after we moved, for my next birthday my mom called the parents of every single girl in my class and told them as much and more or less emotionally manipulated them into forcing their kids to come to a party I didn’t really want when I wasn’t really friends with any of them (it was humiliating and all of these girls let me know about it and that they were annoyed) -- But I do remember this girl being there and being happy to be there and genuinely nice. 

And she continued to just... be like that. Like, I don’t think we were ever really close or friends or anything, but she’s one of the very few people who would talk to me and go out of her way to be kind without an ulterior motive. She was the only one of my classmates to invite *me* to her birthday the same school year and then thanked me for coming the next week. 

 I remember one time specifically where I was in the car driving home from the store with one of my grandparents when we passed the car she was in going the other direction and she noticed and smiled and waved at me as we went by.  

And I think the next year, which was the last year we shared a class iirc, our class had a little play-ish thing we put on and I had begged my grandparents and my mom to come not just to watch but because there were going to be, like, family activities afterward, and they didn’t show up, but Courtney and her mom approached me after it was over and let me join them instead so I wouldn’t be left out and both acted like it was the most normal thing in the world for me to be there. 

She ended up popping up again in either my sophomore or junior year of high school in an entirely different (and much, MUCH bigger) school district. She ran for some student office I think, which is how I found out because she put on this whole show for it during an assembly and even like... almost seven years later(?) I was excited to see her the moment I recognized her.  Sometime after that, we passed each other in the hall and she smiled and waved at me like no time had passed at all.

And then I dropped out and I didn’t see her again. Thought about adding her as a friend on fb, as you did, but then didn’t because I’m me 

Towards the end of the next school year, I remember going with my mom to the bank, which was all the way back in the town we had just moved from and across the street from my high school and her name was tied into the fence of the football field with a message that everyone missed her. I don’t think it really hit me then, or that I really understood what it mean. So I went to fb (as you did) to see if I could find out what happened, if she’d been in an accident or if she was sick or something and was met with a post from her mother on her account explaining that she’d overdosed and how and where they had found her. I don’t think I really processed that at the time, either. It was just sort of an “oh...” and then I was quiet. It took about a week for me to realize what it meant and then a few months to realize how sad I was. 

tbh I’m not sure even now how I’m supposed to feel about it because we weren’t that close. She was nice to everyone, everyone liked her, I wasn’t special, and she was just a good, caring person. But every time it comes up I know that I’m sad. I know that it feels unfair, both her passing and knowing the feelings that lead up to the actions she took. I know that her parents were good people who raised a good daughter and that they’re still celebrating holidays and birthdays without her. I know that she had friends and that if she was even half as nice to me as she was to them, I’m sure they still think about her and miss her. I still think about her. 

idk where I’m going with this, maybe that I wish I could let her know how important all of those little moments of kindness and compassion meant to me and still mean to me over a decade later

grief is weird 

[words-art]

Café Morhen: A Fine Night For A Song Part 1

I guess cross posting is a thing I want to do now. Originally posted on AO3

Chapter 1: Event Planning and Scene Setting

Another day. Another shift. Another too-small paycheck.

At least it was almost closing time. And it was Eskel’s turn to clean the kitchen. So as long as Vesemir didn’t call a—

“Staff meeting after closing,” the older man half-muttered on his way to the back office.

“Fuck.”

Things rarely went Geralt’s way. And tonight was no exception. He already knew being stuck up front, dealing directly with the customers, would be awful. But now he didn’t even have the luxury of leaving when he was done. 

At least the later hour meant there were fewer and fewer customers, since most people didn’t need a fresh coffee at six o’clock on a Tuesday. He could enjoy the quiet and the calm. He made himself busy wiping down the machines and restocking the trays of sugars, stirrers, and so-on at each table. 

It was a few minutes past seven when he heard the front door open. He immediately took the offensive, “We’re closed!”

“Oh,” a familiar voice started, “and here I thought the sign said open. Guess I’m illiterate.” 

“Sorry, Yen. Didn’t see you.”

“Obviously,” she rolled her eyes. “Long night?” she asked, more out of courtesy than anything. She knew how much Geralt preferred working in the back. She also knew she wouldn’t get more than a grumpy, affirmative hum in response. 

Right behind Yen comes Aiden, who promptly leaned over the counter that Geralt just cleaned. “Wow the service here sucks!” he called out when he saw Lambert through the kitchen window.

“Fuck off!” the dark haired barista replied as he came out to greet his dear friend… or more than friend. Not that anyone would ever directly ask what those two had going on. They didn’t seem sure what to call it themselves. The two embraced all the same, uncaring of anyone’s opinions.

Vesemir’s office door opened right then, as if sensing everyone was present. The employees filed in. 

The ever-practical owner got straight to the point. “Rumor has it the land lord is upping the rent as early as next month. We’re gonna need a few more customers coming in to keep things in order around here. So no scaring people away. Yes even the stupid ones.”

“She asked for a fucking dragon fruit frapuccino! We’re not a godsdamned Starbucks,” Lambert exclaimed. Aiden put a knowing hand on his friend’s shoulder in solidarity. 

“But besides that,” Vesemir continued, ignoring his son's would-be rant, “we need to draw people in somehow and I’m looking for suggestions.”

“Why not offer two for one drinks and call it a day?” Geralt asked, hoping to hurry things along.

“Who would want to drink two coffees at once?” 

“College students during finals,” Yennefer said without looking up from her phone.

“The semester’s just starting at Oxenfurt, nobody needs that much caffeine yet.”

“But we can keep it in mind for whenever finals do happen.”

“Any other ideas for the more immediate future?” Vesemir urged his kids—because really all of them were too tight-knit to not be considered family, even if he was only responsible for Geralt, Eskel, and Lambert on paper—along. 

“An event of some kind could do the trick,” Aiden said. “Something small and manageable but still something besides business as usual.”

“What about an open mic?” Eskel piped up with a shrug.

“And listen to a bunch of tone-deaf assholes for three hours straight?” Lambert asked.

“Some people aren’t all that bad,” Yennifer said in an attempt at optimism. “And it’d be an easy enough set up.”

“People are always looking for things to do on a Friday night,” Eskel added.

“And sometimes you just don’t want to deal with a crowded bar.”

“So people would choose a crowded cafe instead?” Vesemir asked, skeptical but hopeful. 

“Well there’d be fewer drunks at least.” They could all agree that would be a big selling point. 

“It’s worth a shot,” Geralt conceded. Even a one-time boost in traffic through the cafe would be good for business. But he mostly wanted to be anywhere else right now, preferably upstairs in his own bed. He’d agree to just about anything to speed the meeting along.

“It could be fun too.” Aiden agreed.

“Unless anyone has any better ideas.” Vesemir opened it up to the room again. The group gave various shrugs and shakes of the head. Lambert pretended to be looking at something really interesting on the adjacent wall. “It’s settled then. Yen, you do your internet thing and we’ll get this place ready for Friday. What else do we need to do?” 

“Well we’d need a microphone set up, for one,” Geralt said. There was probably a lot more set up to discuss but he didn’t really have a head for detailing those sorts of things. Might as well start at the most obvious place for an open mic night.

“Lambert’s got a karaoke machine,” Aiden offered.

“That he bought me,” Lambert preemptively said in an attempt to avoid any teasing from his brothers.

“And now you’ll finally use it.”

“We probably need a stage of some kind,” Eskel interjected before the two could start bickering like an old married couple, “Just a small platform should do.”

“And you’d have to rearrange some things to make room for the stage and whatever audience we manage to draw in,” Yen said. “I’m already drafting the post for Instagram. Just need a good photo for the poster,” she added, mostly to herself.

None of the guys she worked with particularly cared about social media (or socializing in general) so she had taken it upon herself to make a page for the café as a bit of free advertising. Plus it was a good excuse to be on her phone during work. And it’s not like Vesemir knew what the app actually looked like should he ever be spying over her shoulder.

The remaining prep work was divided amongst the group and everybody went home. Well Lambert followed Aiden out to head to a bar first while Eskel, Geralt, and Vesemir headed upstairs for the night. But he didn’t have the morning shift so nobody was gonna stop him. And without Lambert and Vesemir getting into some spat or another, Geralt was able to quickly fall asleep in the relative quiet of this corner of the city at this hour.

[vendettaparker]

Reckless [T.H]

Summary: In a fit of jealousy, Tom embarrasses you in front of your new friend and the entire pub, leaving you heartbroken at his reckless actions.

Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: Swearing, angst, slut-shaming 

a/n: hi! sorry this took so so so long for me to get out! i got super busy with other works, but i’m super happy with how this turned out :) i hope you enjoy this, and don’t worry, i know how scary those warnings look ^ but this ends happy, i promise! as always, comments and reblogs are appreciated <3

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Tom was an idiot. He was an actual fucking idiot. He now realizes that as he watches you run out of the pub with hot tears streaming down your face. He watches as Harry runs after you, your bag in his hand, probably to make sure you make it back home safe since there was no way you’d return to the crowded bar, where Harrison and Sam were giving Tom death glares, the same little pub where Tom had made a complete fool out of you. 

The few months Tom came home to London were always the setting of your most cherished memories. Sometimes it seemed like when he left so did the whole group of friends you surround yourself with.

There was no doubt in your mind that Tom was the life of the party. He had a certain aura about him that caused some of the most fucked up, but amazing situations to occur. That was probably one of the reasons you loved him so much. 

When he was in town, his brothers, Harrison, and Tuwaine all joined together to make the next few months memorable before he had to leave again, and you were always included, but when he was gone, Harry usually went with him, Harrison focused on work for himself, and Sam focused on his restaurant. The world slowed down after Tom left, and so many times, you were left to wait for his return; alone. 

Tom hated leaving you behind every time he went back to the states, but you had such deep roots in London, he didn’t want to pry you from your family for months on end. He loved you too much to constantly subject you to his hectic lifestyle. He spent as much time with you as he could when he saw you, but the second he had to go, it was all tearful goodbyes in a crowded airport. 

You and Tom had been best friends for decades at this point. You supported him no matter what it was that he wanted to accomplish. He’s even said in interviews that he credits a huge bulk of his success to his friend back home, then he’d give a wink to the camera, and you always knew it was for you. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

When Tom came home after filming Spider-Man: No Way Home, you practically tackled him to the ground in a hug. 

“You div,” You mumbled into his neck, “you forgot to let me FaceTime with Zendaya.” 

“Oh, shit!” Tom gasped, finally remembering your request to talk to your favorite actress, “my bad.”

You looked at Tom incredulously, “I don’t think I can be friends with you anymore.” You feigned hurt, clutching your hand to your chest, “it just hurts too much.” 

“That’s a damn shame,” Tom frowned, “I mean, I could just FaceTime Zendaya now, but if that’s how you—”

“I changed my mind,” You smiled sweetly, cutting him off, “love you, bestie.” 

Tom rolled his eyes and pulled you into another hug, “Missed you, bestie.” 

“Um,” Sam, Paddy, and Harrison stood behind you, clearing their throats. 

“Missed you guys too,” Tom sighed, and he rushed over and gave his brothers and friend a hug.

You gave Harry a hug while Tom chatted with his brothers, quickly catching up with him. 

“What’s the plan for tonight, guys?” You spoke up. 

Every night after Tom got back, he’d go back to his flat and take a nap before a night out on the town. Usually, you’d bar hop a bit before going to a club, so tonight wasn’t likely to be any different. 

“I was thinking we could get dinner at Lorenzo’s,” Harry said, “then maybe hit the pub on Ashford?”

You and the others nodded in agreement as you made your way out of the airport.

“Can I invite my friend Avery?” You asked. 

Tom nodded, “Sure, I didn’t even know you had any other friends, (Y/N),” he joked.

“Haha,” You laughed sarcastically, “gee that was a good one, Tom. You really got me.” 

“What can I say?” He smirked, “I’m a comedian.” 

“Is that the guy you met in your philosophy lecture?” Harrison butt in.

“Yeah,” You nodded, “he’s really sweet, so be on your best behavior guys, and maybe don’t be yourselves, just this once?” you suggested with a slightly teasing tone. 

“Are you trying to impress him or something?” Tom inquired.

“No,” You scoffed, “I’m just trying to not throw him to the wolves.” 

Tom laughed along, but it was strained. He wasn’t too keen on the idea of adding a new member to your friend group, and the little glint in your eye when you talked about Avery made his heart tighten. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

“Okay,” You smiled as you set the last of Tom’s luggage in his living room, “I’ll let you get some sleep then.”

You gave him one last hug and a kiss on the cheek, “see you later.” 

Tom reciprocated and inhaled the sweet smell of lavender in your locks of hair, “mhm,” he sighed, “see ya.” 

Harrison was about to walk out after you when Tom grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him back, “Mate, what the fuck.” he grumbled as he stumbled over his feet, “I thought you wanted to take a nap?”

“I slept on the plane,” Tom explained quickly, “you’ve been here the whole time, right?” Harrison nodded, “so you know this Avery guy, yeah?”

Harrison shook his head, “I haven’t talked to (Y/N) much this past month, but he’s probably on her Instagram.” 

Harrison pulled out his phone and looked at posts you’d been tagged in, “Ah, here.” He handed the phone to Tom and pointed to the tall blonde guy in a group photo with you and some other friends, “He’s the tall blonde.” 

Tom studied the picture with a small frown, “They’re not dating though, right?”

“She said he was her friend,” Harrison shrugged.

“You know what I mean,” Tom rolled his eyes, “do they look really chummy to you?”

“His hand’s kind of close to her butt, but other than that I don’t know.” Harrison pointed it out, causing Tom’s heart to momentarily stop. 

“Ok, new plan,” Tom announced, “I’m going to ask (Y/N) out tonight.” 

Harrison scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What?” Tom wondered.

“You’ve said that almost every single time you’ve been home and you always chicken out.”

“No, I don’t!” Tom gasped in offense, “It’s just hard to find the right time.”

“You’ve literally had hundreds of opportunities to tell her how you feel, Mate.”

“It has to be perfect.” Tom insisted, “I can’t just ask her out of the blue, I have to butter her up first.”

“That’s dumb.” 

“Oh, fuck off,” Tom groaned, “get out, I changed my mind, I’m going to sleep.” 

Harrison rolled his eyes and chuckled before giving Tom a pat on the back and leaving. Tom waved goodbye as Harrison drove away, and then rushed to his phone. 

“FaceTime Zendaya,” he instructed Siri. The call went through and soon Tom was met with Zendaya's tired eyes in a dark room. 

“Hey, Z!” Tom said cheerfully, “best friend, bestest pal in the world. The person that never wants to see me fail ever, my greatest companion—“

“Tom,” Zendaya groggily cut him off, “what the fuck do you want, I’m sleeping.” 

“How do you ask a girl out?”

Zendaya sat up a little more and turned on her bedside lamp, “What? You don’t know how to ask a girl out?”

“Well I do,” Tom backtracked, “but I want it to be special. I’ve been in love with this girl for nearly two years now and every time I go to ask her out, I chicken out.”

“I don’t know, what does she like?”

“Well one time she told me her favorite animal was a sea otter, should I get her one?” Tom pondered, hand resting in his chin in thought. 

“Um, no, what the fuck?” Zendaya squinted her eyes at Tom, “have you gotten any sleep yet?” 

Tom shook his head, “This is important, Z, now help me!” 

Zendaya rolled her eyes, “I’ll text you some ideas, but for now just go get some sleep. With how tired you are now you’d probably call her the wrong name or something.” 

Tom rolled his eyes, but the action caused his eyelids to droop even more, “Fine, fine,” he conceded, “I’ll let you know how it goes.” 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

“Okay,” Tom announced at the restaurant before you arrived, “I’m going to ask (Y/N) out tonight so I need you all to shut up and not distract me or make me nervous.”

Harrison, Harry, and Sam just stared at Tom. Tuwaine, for some unknown reason, started clapping. 

“Tom,” Harrison began, “no offense, but—“

“Ah ah ah,” Tom stopped him, “is what you’re about to say going to bruise my ego?” Harrison thought about it for a moment before slowly nodding, “okay, then shut the fuck up, respectfully. I don’t need any bad juju tonight.” 

“Well, I’m happy for you, Mate,” Tuwaine nodded. He was the closest to you after Tom and he knew all about your crush on the brown-haired Brit. You might’ve let it slip once when you were drunk, and since you didn’t willingly tell Tuwaine, he was sworn to secrecy. “I’m positive she’ll say yes.” 

“Thank you,” Tom smiled at him, sending a slight glare to the others for their lack of faith in him. “As for the rest of you, I can’t wait to prove you wrong.” 

You walked into the restaurant with Avery hunched over from laughing so hard. Tom smiled in your direction and waved you over, “Hey, (Y/N/N)! Over here!”

“Wow,” You chuckled, “must’ve been a good nap. Little energetic there, huh?” 

Tom went in to give you a tight hug, holding you close, “Just missed you,” he mumbled into your hair. 

“I just saw you a few hours ago?”

Avery stood by you awkwardly, waiting for Tom to release you. Tom reluctantly let you go and pulled a chair out for you, next to him. 

“Thanks,” you smiled at him, motioning for Avery to sit next to you, “hey, everyone,” you smiled at the group of boys that were properly about to piss themselves at Tom’s over-the-top behavior, “this is Avery.” 

“Hi,” He waved at the group as a small chorus of ‘hellos’ rang across the table. He turned to Tom to shake his hand, “I’m a big fan, Mate. Love your work.” 

Tom smiled and patted him on the shoulder, “Thanks, it means a lot.” smiled politely, shaking Avery's hand. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Dinner went off without a hitch, at least in your opinion. Avery was melding well with your friends and he was cracking jokes like he’d know the group for years. 

The boys seemed to enjoy his sense of humor and what he added to the conversation. Sam and him even found that they shared an interest in cooking, which led to them having a slightly heated discussion about how real Gordon Ramsey’s cooking skills are; which ended in laughs. 

However, Tom was probably having one of the worst nights of his life. Every time Avery playfully shoved you while you two laughed he wanted to wring his neck. It also didn’t help that he couldn’t find the perfect time to ask you out. Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to ask you out with all of his mates around. 

Tom smiled and laughed along with the jokes, but once you looked away he was back to frowning. 

“Tom,” Harry nudged his brother, “wipe that scowl off your face.” 

“I’m not scowling,” Tom grumbled, “this is my normal face.” 

Harry rolled his eyes and kicked his older brother under the table, “You need to ask her soon. I think Avery is trying to make some moves on her.” Harry noticed, seeing how Avery casually had his arm around your chair. 

Tom rolled his eyes, “As if I can't see that for myself,” he scoffed. “I don’t want to ask her with all of you watching. What if she says no?” 

“We can leave you alone for a bit when we go to the pub, but I’m not sure if Avery will go with us.” Harry shrugged, “you could always ask her out tomorrow.” Harry suggested. 

“No!” Tom exclaimed, causing everyone to look at him and Harry, “Sorry, I—um, I just don’t really like that shirt on you Harry; it makes my eyes hurt.” 

Harry looked down at his shirt for a moment and then frowned, sending a light smack to Tom, “You bought me this shirt you div.”

Everyone went back to their own conversations so Tom leaned in to talk to Harry some more, “I can’t wait for tomorrow. What if I chicken out again?”

“Then you’re an idiot.” Harry deadpanned with a shrug. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

The pub was way more packed than anyone expected. The new addition of live music to the outside patio definitely livened up the place and more customers went to see what local band would be playing next. 

The pub had a classic English pub feel, with the wood flooring and the yellow-tinted walls, but it also had a modern twist with a back patio and outdoor seating with fairy lights, and the lights that illuminate under the bar itself. 

“I’m gonna go check out the band,” Harry announced after he came back with your drinks, “you guys should all come with me.” He said with a slight side-eye to Sam, Tuwaine, and Harrison. 

“Eh, I’m not really into—” Sam began, but Harry sent him a quick kick under the table. “Ow! I mean, I love music.” Sam smiled enthusiastically. 

“I’m gonna stay back and finish this beer,” Tom said, holding up the large pint of beer he was already a quarter of the way through, “(Y/N), wanna race to see who can finish first?” He suggested trying to get you to stay behind.

“Oh you’re totally on,” You smirked, “but I am going to take a quick peek at the band. We can race after I get back.” You got up from your seat and began walking away with Harry and the boys. Tom pouted at how horribly that plan worked. Harry looked back at Tom apologetically as he held the door open for you.

“Wow,” Avery smiled beside Tom, scaring him, “she really is something.” 

“Holy shit, Mate,” Tom held a hand to his heart, “you almost gave me a heart attack. I thought you went with them?” 

“Nah,” Avery shook his head, “I’m not really into music,” he shrugged. 

“Oh, okay,” Tom nodded. “What were you just saying?”

“(Y/N),” Avery looked towards the back patio exit dreamily, “she’s amazing. I mean I would definitely ask her out, but probably not at a pub surrounded by her mates, y’know?” 

“Mhm, yeah,” Tom said quietly, his heart already beginning to shatter into millions of inconsolable pieces. “I mean, she’s alright.” He said with a forced laugh, trying to fend Avery away from you, “she definitely isn’t really your type, though.” 

“What do you mean?” Avery asked, taking a sip from his beer, “she’s perfect, mate.”

“I mean,” Tom racked his brain for an excuse big enough to make Avery not want you, “you don’t think it’s a little weird she’s in a friend group with all boys?” 

“No,” Avery said slowly, skeptically looking back at the exit, “she just clicks with boys, I guess. Girls and guys can just be friends.”

“Not her,” Tom scoffed, “I mean, it’s just a little obvious, y’know?”

You and the rest of the boys were heading back in, seeing as the back patio was completely overcrowded with patrons. 

“What’s obvious?” Avery asked, raising his voice slightly due to the volume in the bar. 

“(Y/N)’s only friends are guys!” Tom nearly yelled over the volume of chatter, not realizing that the surrounding customers could hear him, “makes me wonder how many she’s slept with! I mean, that’s not a coincidence to me!” 

The surrounding customers halted their conversations, leaving only Tom’s voice filtering through the air and into your ears. 

“That’s crazy,” Avery chuckled awkwardly, “I don’t think she’s like that.” He shook his head, annoying Tom. In a final last-ditch effort to get Avery off your back, he said the worst thing he could, loudly, into a quieting pub. 

“Well, she hits on me all the time,” Tom shrugged, “she’s just a bit whorish, I guess.” 

“Tom,” Tuwaine cleared his throat, interrupting their conversation, “what the fuck, mate?” 

Tom looked at all the boys next to Tuwaine, and behind them was you, teary-eyed with harsh sobs racking through your body. 

You whispered something to Harry, and then all but ran out the front door. Harry walked over to where Tom was sitting and picked up your purse.

“Harry I—” Tom tried.

“Shut the fuck up, Tom.” Harry snapped, “You're an idiot and an asshole, just leave things be.” 

Harry ran out the pub entrance, following you to give you a ride home. 

Tuwaine, Sam, and Harrison shook their heads once the shock ebbed away. One by one they all left Tom sitting in shock and agony at the bar. Avery, not knowing any of the group, barely knew what was going on or if Tom’s accusations were correct, left the pub and went home without another word. 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

“Harry,” Tom whined into the phone, “please tell me how to fix this, please I’m begging you.” 

Harry sighed, now properly regretting lifting his silent treatment from Tom, “Tom, there is absolutely nothing I can do to help you, and even if there was, I wouldn’t. You called her a whore in front of a crowded pub—”

“I know!” Tom yelled, “And I’ve been living with that guilt for three weeks now! Please, Harry. I-I messed up so bad.” Tom’s voice cracked, “I tried calling and texting, a-and my texts started turning green. She blocked me,” Tom sobbed, “I’m in love with her, and I never got to tell her. I ruined our relationship before it even began.” 

“Yeah,” Harry agreed, “you did.” 

“Harry, I just want to apologize properly, please.” Tom begged, “I tried going to her house, but her roommate threw a drink at me and told me she went out of town. Where is she?”

“I can’t tell you.” 

“Harry,” Tom sighed, “I’m trying so hard here, I don’t care where she is, I’ll go anywhere for her. Please, I just can’t keep waiting in the dark for her to talk to me.”

Harry sighed, rubbing his forehead, “Okay, fine, but don’t tell her I told you where she was. And if you get your face clawed off, just know that you deserve it.” 

“Okay, okay, now tell me.”

“She’s been staying with Tuwaine and his girlfriend.” 

“Okay, thanks, love you, bye!” Tom said through the phone, already grabbing his keys. 

Harry sighed and began texting Tuwaine, 

Harry: Tom’s coming over, don’t snap him in half, he just wants to talk to her. 

Tuwaine: I’m not home right now, but I'd be more worried about her snapping him in half… 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Tom pulled up the Tuwaine’s flat and pounded at the door. He didn’t see Tuwaine’s car in the driveway but he saw yours parked on the street so he knew you were in there. 

“(Y/N)!” He desperately called, “Come on, I know you’re in there!”, his pleas were met with silence and he rang the doorbell on repeat, “(Y/N), please! I just want to talk!”

The door opened to show you standing there with your messy hair and stained sweats, still looking overwhelmingly perfect in Tom’s eyes. He noticed the dark circles and the dried tears and his heart broke, even more, knowing he caused this. He loved you so much and he caused you some of the worst pain imaginable. All he wanted to do was hold you and kiss your puffy cheeks, desperately whispering praises into your ear. You were perfect in every sense of the word, and he let you believe you were anything less. He was an idiot—the biggest idiot in the world—for making you cry. 

“What do you want?” You snapped with a sniffle, pulling him back to reality as you rubbed your red eyes. 

“I just want to talk,” Tom gave you a small smile, “please.” 

“I don’t have anything to say to you.” You scowled, “You need to leave.” 

“No, (Y/N), please.” Tom begged, “I’m sorry. I’m so so so fucking sorry. I was being an idiot and—please, (Y/N), you’re my best friend. I don’t wanna lose you.” Tom’s voice cracked, but you remained stoic in the doorway. 

“I’m your best friend? Really?” You scoffed, “I thought I was just some whore you let hang around you?” 

Tom winced at his words being thrown back into his face, “I didn’t mean it, I swear,” he promised, tears glistening in his eyes, “I don’t even know why I said that. I was being so fucking stupid—” 

“No,” You interrupted his rambling, “you don’t get to say that. You don’t get to say that it was just you “being stupid”. Who the hell says that about their supposed best friend? Why would you even think that? You don’t just get to call me those things in public, and then say that you don’t know why you did it. You can’t even give me a reason—”

“I’m in love with you,” Tom blurted out, blowing out a puff of air in stress, “I’ve been in love with you for the longest time, (Y/N). And Avery was saying how he wanted to ask you out, and I couldn’t lose you. I didn’t want to lose you. I had so many plans for us, and I wanted to be with you—to be yours—more than anything, and I let my jealousy get in the way. I’m sorry because if I deserved you I wouldn’t have done that.”

You stood in the doorway of the flat, arms crossed over your chest. “I can’t believe you’d be so reckless.” You said after a moment of silence, “I would’ve been yours if you had just asked me.” 

“I’m sorry,” Tom cried, reaching out to hold your hand, but you backed away ever so slightly, “please, I would do anything to fix it if I could.” 

“You don’t understand anything, Tom.” You frowned.

“Help me understand.” He begged.

You pondered it for a moment and then released a sigh, coupled with a few tears, “I loved you,” you admitted. Tom’s heart did a leap, but then he realized that you were talking past tense as if his chance with you was gone.

“And I would spend months and months just waiting for you to come home so I could spend time with you. I was so lonely when you and Harry left; I always am. Avery offered to spend some time with me after class one day and I agreed because I don’t have anybody else when you leave. And it was fun, but he wasn’t you. He’ll never compare to the place you had in my heart, but at least I wasn’t alone anymore.” You sighed and began closing the door again, “Now, because of you, I have no one again.” 

The door was about to slam back in Tom’s face, but he shoved his foot in the threshold, “(Y/N), wait,” he pleaded, “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how important Avery was to you. I can never undo what I did, but please let me make it up to you. I just need you to understand how sorry I am.” 

You opened the door again and looked at Tom’s sad eyes, boring into you, “I do understand how sorry you are, but I don’t know how I can trust you again. You said awful things about me without even batting an eye or taking a breath—”

“I know,” Tom sighed, “I know and I’d give anything to take it back. I just want you back (Y/N). Even if you don’t want to be my girlfriend, I can’t leave knowing I’ve lost my best friend.” 

“As much as it hurts,” You caved, moving from the doorway to let Tom in, “I still love you, and I don’t want to lose you either.” 

Tom smiled and walked into the flat, immediately pulling you into a hug, “I’m so sorry, (Y/N),” You hugged back and sniffled into his hoodie, before pulling away with a sigh.

“I know,” You nodded, “I forgive you. But next time, just be honest with me and tell me how you’re feeling. I’d give you the world if you asked for it.”

Tom smiled and stroked your tear-stained cheek, “I’ll just settle on your heart for now, if that’s okay?”

“That’s so fucking cheesy.” You giggled, wiping the tears from your eyes, “I love it.”

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

✧tags & moots✧ @ptersmj @princessofguineapigs @peterbenjiparker @cherrytholland @itsapeterthing @justapurrcat @thirstiestpotato @kelieah @iovebug  @waitimcomingtoo  @rosyparkers  @parkers-gal @allegra-writes @starktonyx  @celestialholland  @hollandcrush  @londonspidey @blissfulparker @spidernerdsblog @spidey-sophie @spideyspeaches @peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology @andilovetowrite @sinisterspidey @asonofpeter @westcoastcigar @arlo-sanders @love-peterparker @boiolay @letssee2468  @white-wolf1940 @fandom-life-12 @hollandsdream @annathesillyfriend @lovelybarnes @miseryholland @wierdteenagenerd @duskholland @hollandprkr @lauras-collection @arvinsescape @hollandsrecs

[m4tthewmurd0ck]

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒 ~ 𝐁𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐱 (𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞) 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

PART 1 OF 3

- I just left my apartment to run errands and when I’m gone I’ll go over part 2 to make sure it’s alright. will try to have that up tonight!

beyond excited to participate in @cryonme​ birthday writing event! i’m so sorry this took so long to post but when you see the word count, you’ll be able to tell why asdfdhgej. there was also a point where i had added about 3k words, saved the draft, then when i came back just a few minutes later to check something, tumblr had deleted every new thing i added / the update didn’t save. at that point i stopped writing for this for like a few days because i was so pissed lol.

i chose bucky barnes + 3 prompts: do you ever think about what i would do if something happened to you? // you have stars in your eyes. i like looking at them. // am i the reason you cry every night? (one of these is used twice hehe)

word count: 10.8 - 10.9k (it’s a lot better now that i’m splitting this up into 3 parts. originally i wasn’t planning for it to be this long but i just got to typing and typing on my silly little keyboard and then when i did the word count i knew i had to split it up lol)

sorry for the long ass intro, but little bit of context: obviously an au since i’m adding a character (aka you!) that doesn’t technically exist in the films. pietro survived in aou + he and wanda survived the blip, thor didn’t leave immediately after killing thanos, and clint wasn’t ever placed on house arrest. i know that bucky being rescued by steve is november 1943 and then him falling off the train is january 1945 but this does deal with both of those events so in this, it’s all in january of 1945. i’ve loved and been in the mcu fandom for years and years, having seen everything after the first iron man in theaters. i’ve also watched all films multiple times, so if you see something different or off to how it is in the movies, please assume it is intentional and for my story. as always, feedback is greatly appreciated but if you only have negative things to say with nothing actually helpful, or you just straight up hate this, please keep it to yourself because i’m actually really sensitive ahsdfasdga. full piece will be below the cut. enjoy!! and remember:

Life was definitely not what you thought it’d be. Not long after Thanos wiped out half of the population, you were kidnapped. They called themselves New Hydra (sooo clever, right?), the group consisted of about only 25 men, but their goal was clear: they wanted to make newer and better Winter Soldier’s. About a week into you being held captive, it became obvious that they knew who you were long before they got their hands on you. You were told that the 12 of you that were chosen were unique. They’d been keeping their eyes on those with ‘special abilities’ in New York for quite a while. You fascinated them with your ability to travel through time.

It also helped that you were alone, no family and no close friends. Since you could do… what you could do, you mostly kept to yourself.

After spending over a decade perfecting a new serum, the people in charge decided that it was ready for human test subjects. Of everyone taken, you were the only one to survive the injections. You were New Hydra’s first Winter Soldier.

At first, your new powers weren’t immediately obvious. All kinds of tests were run, you were physically and mentally tortured, they did everything they could think of to see what the serums turned you into. One day, it was as if your body had enough. Just as you were strapped to the chair and the contraptions were placed around your head, a red light began to glow from your hands. A moment later when men began to rush in to see what was going on, you opened your fists, aiming your open hands at them. They were all dead within seconds as the energy was sent surging at them.

You wouldn’t find out until way later, that the color of the energy depended on your emotions. It only ever appeared red with New Hydra, because they loved to see you angry.

Now it was very clear. Not only would those remaining be able to send you through time to get their hands on weapons or information, but you were even more powerful than they thought you’d become. You were going to be their greatest weapon.

It didn’t take long for you to be compliant. One night when you were asleep, what looked like an oxygen mask was placed over your nose and mouth. You immediately woke up and tried to fight, but the gas was too powerful and you were unconscious just seconds later. That same night, a device was implanted in your leg. If you disobeyed, made a snarky comment, or did anything they didn’t like, the touch of one button sent pain that started in your leg but quickly spread throughout your whole body.

Almost ten months into captivity, you were rescued. The remaining Avengers had gotten word about an enhanced individual being held captive by a group of men, and Steve and Nat were sent to rescue you.

You didn’t know, of course, and coincidentally you were plotting your escape for that same day. After you were thrown back into your room, you removed the knife that you’d managed to hide in your boot. You grabbed the thin blanket that they allowed you to have, bit down on it, and cut into your leg. It took everything in you not to cry out in pain, but you managed to remove what you’d come to think of as the pain device. The cut wasn’t big, but you were bleeding a lot more than you had anticipated. You quickly ripped part of the blanket and tied it around your leg as best you could.

Using your powers to force the door open, you poked your head out, only to see the man that usually handled your torture, being thrown to the ground.

As you ran out into the hall, you looked around. You didn’t know what you were looking for, but something wasn’t right. Mikael, that was the mans name. He was your main point of contact with New Hydra, and as you slowly made your way over to him, a thought occurred.

You could kill him, but then everyone that worked under him would all work to kill you. You were powerful, and you’d already killed 5 men, and even with Mikael now on the ground that still left 19 men. Would you be strong enough to take them all down?

He called your name, blood slowly dripping out of his mouth as he beckoned you over with a weak flick of his wrist. “Kill them,” he whispered.

You tilted your head to the side, confused. They’d mostly been using you for your time traveling abilities, and at that point they only used your trigger words a handful of times, and each time after giving your mission report, they wiped your memory and either allowed you to go back to your room, or put you in cryo. So really, you had no idea how many people you’d actually killed.

“You stupid girl, I said kill them,” he pointed behind him.

You shot up, immediately making eye contact with Steve Rogers. Of course you recognized him, you knew who he was before you were taken, and now you were taught that the Avengers were your enemies.

“You don’t have to do this,” he takes a few steps forward, stopping when you raised your arms and purple energy began to glow around your hands. Purple, you’d come to find, meant scared. “It’s over, we’ve taken care of all of them. You can come with us and we can help you.”

Mikael pulled himself to a sitting position, reaching up to shove you forward. “Kill them now!”

You looked back at him for a few seconds, before turning back to Steve. Natasha Romanoff stepped out from behind him.

“Are they really all gone?” You whispered, looking to her as if for confirmation. When they both nodded, you lowered your hands. But the past ten months all seemed to run through your mind. You turned around to Mikael, suddenly aware that for the first time in a long time, you had the upper hand.

As you raised your hands, prepared to kill the man that had done nothing but cause you pain and suffering, you felt a hand on your shoulder. You weren’t used to touch that wasn’t meant to cause you harm, so you flinched as you turned around. Steve immediately removed his hand and took a step back. He didn’t say anything, but you were aware of what he was asking you to do. Reluctantly, you lowered your hands.

S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were soon brought in, and you were handcuffed. You were a killer, and they intended to punish you as such. After you were forced to put on handcuffs that somehow stopped your powers, there was a little back and forth about where you’d go. While Steve was arguing with the agents in charge, Nat quickly led you out of the building and onto the quinjet.

When Steve joined you a few minutes later, he admitted that the only reason you were allowed to go with them was because he pointed out that should you somehow escape your cuffs, he and Nat were the only ones that might be able to handle you. He tried to assure you that he only said that so that you wouldn’t go straight to wherever they had planned for you, but you didn’t respond, instead keeping your head downward, eyes on the same spot on the ground.

“How do I know you won’t kill me the second we land… wherever you’re taking me?” You asked after a few minutes, not able to look either of them in the eye.

“Wh—what they did to you,” Nat moved and took the seat next to you. “It wasn’t your fault. Neither of us thinks you should be killed or thrown in prison for the things they made you do.”

You weren’t sure whether you could believe them or not. The entire time you were held, it was drilled into your head that the Avengers wanted you dead.

Steve sat on the other side of you, and spoke as if he could hear your thoughts. “I’m sure they’ve told you a lot about us. But I can promise you, we’re not the bad guys.”

“Y-you don’t want to do what they did, with me? I don’t remember much of it, but they said that I was a good weapon, and—”

“No,” Steve shook his head. “You won’t ever have to do anything you don’t want to.”

Hours later, the quinjet touched the ground. Steve walked out first, followed by you and Nat. You were greeted by Nick Fury, who immediately took you by the arm and began to lead you into the building. Nat tried to speak up and say that wasn’t necessary, but Fury ignored her.

“You recognize this building?” He asked you just before you walked inside.

“The— this is the Avengers compound?”

He nodded, going silent again when you stepped into the elevator. Getting off on the second floor, you were taken into a room that had what was clearly a sort of prison cell.  ((((((think of the ‘cell’ loki was held in, in the first avengers film))))))

You began to panic, trying to escape from Fury’s hold.

“Alright let her go,” Steve finally caught up to you guys. He put a hand on your shoulder, and you tensed, but were relived when Fury finally let go. “This isn’t necessary, she isn’t some risk—”

“No offense Rogers, but you can’t guarantee that. She stays in here until we can determine what to do with her.”

He started to speak up again, but you shook your head. “It’s okay, it’s a better cell than I’m used to,” you gave him a sad smile before stepping inside.

Once the doors closed, you took a seat on the hard bench, doing your best not to cry. For so long you’d been nothing but a weapon. Now you were free from that… but what would happen next?

A lot happened after that. After Steve and Fury argued for a good ten minutes, Nat finally got them to calm down. Later that night Steve brought you pillows and a bunch of blankets, apologizing that he couldn’t get you moved to a normal room just yet. You thanked him, saying that he’d shown you more kindness than anyone had in a long time, and he further proved this when he sat outside of your cell that evening, talking to you for hours.

A few days later, you were visited by Fury. He said a deal was worked out. You were going to be sent somewhere where they could help de-program you, and make it so that your trigger words had no effect. Once that was complete, you were to come back and lay low in the Avengers compound, and after six months of basically being on house arrest, you’d be given a pardon. After learning of what happened to Bucky Barnes, while there were a lot of people who still blamed him, people also understood that he was forced to do those things, that he wasn’t in control.

So it was just 24 hours later that you found yourself back on the quinjet. You were exhausted, but stayed awake the entire flight. Secretly terrified that if you fell asleep, you’d wake up and find that you being rescued was all just a dream.

Wakanda was beautiful. And everyone was nice. You were greeted by the king, who insisted that you simply call him T’Challa. The young woman next to him piped up and said you could also call him annoying, which is what she usually prefers when referring to him. She then stuck her hand out and introduced herself as Shuri, letting you know that she’d be working closely with you.

She explained that it had been a while since Bucky was there, and since then she tried to work on perfecting the de-programming program, as she started calling it. Of course with no other Winter Soldier’s around, she couldn’t test it. So only time would tell if the deprogramming time would actually speed up.

Luckily, it worked. You only went into cryo once. Just 3 weeks later when Shuri determined you all were at the end, you were escorted by a member of the Dora Milaje to somewhere a few miles from everyone else. She assured you that it was just for your own safety, but you assumed it was for everyone else’s too. When all 10 trigger words were spoken out loud, and you didn’t react, you cried tears of joy. When you returned to everyone else, you embraced Shuri in a hug, telling her that she saved your life and you owed her everything. She was mostly happy that it actually worked, and said that all she wanted in exchange was a short interview with you, to ask in-depth questions about how things went from your point of view.

Exactly one month after leaving, you returned to New York. At Fury’s insistence, just incase, you were put back in the same cell. It was only overnight. Someone who spoke Russian was then brought in early the next morning. You tensed up as they said your trigger words, but by the end, nothing happened.

It wasn’t much longer until Steve was able to convince Fury that you weren’t a danger and shouldn’t have to sleep in that cell like you were their prisoner. An hour later, Nat came and escorted you up to the 4th floor. She said the floor used to be inhabited by someone else, but he was gone now and you could stay here for now until the next step was decided.

She reluctantly told you that the floor would remain locked unless one of the few people who had access needed to see you. But she reassured you that this was only temporary, and that if you needed anything, all you had to do was ask. Later, Steve came back and asked if you’d like to meet everyone else. They were all made aware of your situation, and seeing the skepticism on your face, he promised that none of them thought you were the monster that New Hydra tried to turn you into.

You went with him into the elevator and up to the top floor, timidly following behind him. Sat on a large couch and at the tall chairs near the kitchen, were Tony Stark, Pietro Maximoff, Thor, Bruce Banner, Wanda Maximoff, James Rhodes, Pepper Potts, and Clint Barton. Steve had mentioned that almost everyone that survived the blip was staying at the compound.

Pepper was the first to notice you and Steve entering the room, immediately getting up and approaching the two of you. She introduced herself and held her hand out. You hesitated at first, again, not used to people reaching out to you and not intending to cause you pain. But you shook her hand, and smiled when she said it would be good to have another woman around.

Clint, Tony, Bruce, Wanda, and Rhodey figured that you’d be a little intimidated walking into the room, so they all gathered and just made small talk amongst themselves. But Pietro and Thor were less obvious, their eyes following you as you walked into the room and approached all of them.

Pietro was next to greet you, getting up and speeding over to you. You not showing any reaction at the fact that he crossed the room in less than a second made him smile. He liked you already.

After that, your nerves quickly left you as everyone was nothing but nice. You were most nervous to meet Tony. New Hydra had filled your head with his hatred for Winter Soldier’s, and you weren’t sure how he’d react to you. But after Bucky, he was a lot more understanding. And he simply told you that he hoped they’d be able to help you get your life back on track.

After 2 weeks not leaving your floor, you started to grow restless. It had everything you could ever want, a small theater, massive kitchen, another room with a computer and a few books on the shelves, but you weren’t used to this. You were used to your time being controlled. You weren’t used to having the freedom to do whatever you wanted.

The first time you asked Nat if you could maybe borrow a few books from someone, she was pleasantly surprised that you liked to read. She asked you to make a list of any books that you wanted, and you assured her you weren’t picky, you’d read whatever was given to you. You walked into the computer room 2 days later to find over 100 books on the shelves. She’d spoken to Tony, who found a list titled “100 Best Books of All Time” and ordered every one of them.

Week 3, Bruce asked if you’d come up to the lab and allow him to run a few tests on you. You were a little terrified, but his smile and the kindness in his voice let you know that he wasn’t like them. He didn’t want to run tests to torture you or figure out a way to use your powers to his benefit. He was just genuinely curious, and wanted to see if they’d be able to help you with your powers in any way.

And he quickly became fascinated, especially when you talked about your time traveling abilities. As far as you knew, you’d never had any contact with the time stone, so it was still a mystery how you were able to do it. You traveled a few times, each time going further and further back in time. The two of you worked out that the further back you went, the longer you needed to recover afterwards. Going back 10 years required you to rest for a full day before you were feeling back to your normal self.

He was baffled when you thanked him one day as you were leaving. When he asked what for, you said “for allowing me to recover before sending me back again. When I was still… with them, sometimes I’d have to make two or three trips in one day. Then they’d throw me back in my room or freeze me again, and I never knew how long I had to rest.”

After 2 weeks of being with Bruce and Tony in the labs for at least a couple of hours every day, Nat announced that she was stealing you away. You went with her to the gym, she said she noticed you seemed a little restless if you sat still for too long, and she offered to train with you to release some of your energy.

You surprised her again with your fighting skills, but then she remembered the group that was training you. She taught you a few moves, and you ended up spending at least an hour nearly every day in the gym training together.

One thing that you re-learned about yourself, was that you loved to cook. One by one the team slowly trickled to your floor one night. The smell of the food you’d been cooking quickly made its way through the vents, and Tony was the first to work out that it was coming from your floor. You’d found an old cook book that dated back to the 1930’s, and Tony kept your kitchen stocked well enough that there were all the ingredients needed to make something.

Steve stayed quiet about the particular foods that you’d chosen to cook, but he recognized them almost immediately when he saw what book you got the recipes from. The floor you were on used to be Bucky’s, and although most of his things had been packed away so that you could move in without someone else’s things being all over the place, little things like his books had been left out.

From then on, everyone else not-so-slyly hoped that you’d be making dinner for everyone from then on. You immediately agreed, not only loving to cook, but loving that you felt needed. Your security clearance was changed, and you were also granted access to the kitchen attached to the main living room. You asked Tony if you might be able to get your hands on a few more cookbooks, and being the extremely generous and over-the-top man that he was, less than 24 hours later you found stacks of 40 books on the kitchen counter.

Between meals with the team, the gym with Nat, Steve, and occasionally Pietro who flirted with you every chance he got, the labs with Bruce, Tony and Rhodey, and a few outside sessions with Clint who heard you tell Nat one night that you thought his arrows were really cool, your 6 months on house arrest went by a lot faster than anticipated. You’d even spent a little bit of time with Thor, usually you lounged around together in one of the many living rooms. You loved and were in awe about his stories about life on Asgard, what it looked like, what the people were like, and he appreciated a chance to talk about the place and people that he loved. You were smart and witty, and he couldn’t help but think that if his brother were alive, you 2 would’ve gotten along well.

After your time on house arrest was up, you were still nervous to leave the compound. But everyone assured you that you didn’t have to step foot outside until you were absolutely ready.

Secretly, you weren’t just nervous. You were terrified. Once you started going outside and interacting with other people, would you still have a place to stay? What if it was determined that since you were able to function out in public, you wouldn’t need to stay at the compound anymore? Or what if it was worse, and you were then placed into S.H.I.E.L.D. custody?

It turned out that you didn’t need to worry about that either. Tony had quickly come to think of you as family, and he came to your floor one night and asked if you’d like to stay with them, mentioning that you could leave whenever you wanted, but everyone loved having you around.

Time really flew by after that. Some of the team still occasionally went on missions, but Tony was one of the few who stayed behind. He was still weak after what happened with Thanos, and it was taking a while to get his full strength back.

When Pepper found out that she was pregnant, Tony immediately wanted to move them to a place of their own, wanting a chance at a normal life. He asked you to come with them, and you happily accepted.

For the next few years, there was peace. In the cabin, you, Tony, Pepper, and eventually Morgan, lived a quiet life. You still practiced with your powers, but didn’t go on missions with the rest of the remaining Avengers. Tony, in fact, made a game of it when you said you wanted to practice. He’d look up old dates in his calendar to ensure that past-him wouldn’t be home, then he’d send you back to grab some fancy bottle of wine or a nice shirt that he lost. You appreciated that he didn’t see your powers as a weapon, and you liked using them this way.

Things were good, and then one day Steve, Nat, and Scott Lang showed up. They said that there was a chance to fix thigns, if they could go back in time to get the stones, Nat pointed out that one of them could snap their fingers and bring everyone back.

You spoke up, offering to just do it yourself. As long as you didn’t have to go back in time by that many years, you should be fine making a few trips in one day. The only reason you were so exhausted with New Hydra was because they made you do multiple trips in a day, but often going back 50+ years. Before any one of them could respond to you, though, Tony shook his head. You’d been with him for years now and really were like ‘his first daughter’, as he sometimes referred to you. He said absolutely not, they would not be putting your life at risk like that especially when the outcome wasn’t guaranteed. And he knew that none of them were selfish to expect that of you. And besides, there was a chance that things could get screwed up even worse than they already had.

Nothing was resolved after that. Steve, Nat and Scott ended up leaving soon after that conversation. At one point, you pulled Steve aside. He was the first one to be kind to you, and you let him know that you still wanted to help. You trusted him, and if he thought getting the stones could bring everyone back, then you’d do it for him. He pulled you in for a hug, and said he really appreciated you. But, Tony was right. It was a gamble, and not worth risking your life, especially sending you back alone.

Later that night, you sent Nat a text. You said you knew that no one wanted to send you back alone, but you still wanted to be kept in the loop. So you asked her to let you know if they were going to still work on anything time travel related. A couple of days later, you got a call. They brought Bruce in on it again, and were confident that there was a possible solution.

You nervously approached Tony, and told him what was going on. When he found out that you wanted to go there and possibly help them, he started to protest. Nearly 10 minutes later, and after you promised that you wouldn’t do any time traveling by yourself, he offered to drive you to the compound. When you got there, he made you promise again, this time to let him know if anything went wrong or if anyone got hurt. You asked if he was going to come inside, and he said no, he was going to go back to the cabin and work on a few things.

Later, he received a text that consisted of only 4 emojis and 2 symbols: 🕛🚐 = 👶🏼&👴🏻

After what was pretty much concluded to be a fail, Steve went outside for some air. Everyone else went to their rooms to cool off. You stayed put, opting to join Steve outside after a few minutes. He asked how you were doing with all of this, and you said you were torn. On one hand, you wanted everyone to be happy and be able to bring back those they lost, but you understood why Tony was hesitant.

He could tell something else was bothering you, so he asked if you were really okay. You confessed that you were scared.

“Before New Hydra, I was basically alone. Then, they took me, and for a while all I knew was the life they forced me to live. One where every moment of my life was under their control, one where I was their weapon, the monster they created, and—”

Steve put a hand on your shoulder, giving you a sad smile. “You remind me a lot of someone. I promise you, you are not the monster that they created. The blood isn’t on your hands.”

“But it was still my hands that killed those people,” you looked down, unable to make eye contact.

He got chills, Bucky said those exact words to him when he was first brought to live in the compound. “It wasn’t. You were forced to do those things. You had trigger words, right?” When you nodded, he continued, “you didn’t have a choice. No one blames you.”

Putting a temporary halt to your conversation, was the sound of a car approaching. A big smile finally makes its way to your face as you recognize the car. You had a feeling Tony would come around.

Before he did or said anything to anyone else, though, he pulled you aside. “You have to promise me that you’ll be careful, okay?”

“I will, I promise. It’s just—”

“No,” Tony shook his head. “This isn’t just some light mission that we’re all gonna bounce back from and everything will be fine. This could, hell, it probably will get ugly. I know you’ve volunteered yourself in the past, but you can’t do that now if you’re risking your life, and your life alone.”

He pulls you in for a hug before you start crying, knowing how sentimental you can be.

“I promise I won’t volunteer myself for anything unless I’m absolutely sure.” You offer up, hoping that’s good enough.

“You know what, I guess I’ll take it. But I mean it, kiddo. Do you ever think about what I would do if something happened to you? I know sometimes you still see yourself as an outsider, but you’re family. You’re my daughter whether you like it or not.”

You stood outside for a few more minutes, and reassured Tony once more that you wouldn’t do anything without at least checking with him first.

From there, things quickly progressed. Rhodey and Nebula arrived, and the team quickly split up. Bruce and Rocket went to go get Thor, who’d fallen into a depression not long after your house arrest ended. Losing Loki and feeling like he failed to kill Thanos when he should have, took its toll, and he left the compound to go join the remaining Asgardians. Nat went to go get Clint, who also fell into a depression when it finally hit him that his family was no longer around.

Once everyone was back, Clint did a test run with the time travel suits, and then a long discussion / debate followed about where the infinity stones were, and who would go where to get them. Once Nat pointed out that if you chose the right year, there’d be 3 stones in New York, you all decided to split up into 3 teams. Tony was reluctant to let you go since you’d be going back and forth without a suit and only your powers, but you were determined to help.

At first, it was decided that you would go to Vormir with Clint, and Nat would be one of the few that went to New York. But after everyone else was decided, she pulled you aside and asked you to switch places. She and Clint had been through a lot, and she felt like she should be with him on this mission. You agreed, and so it was decided that you would be going to New York.

The way your powers worked, you had to be extremely specific. If you wanted to travel back, you couldn’t just pick a year. You had to pick the year, month, day, and exact time as well as the location. So once Steve let you know, you went first.

“You know, Cap, that head piece on your uniform is a nice touch,” you pointed way off into the distance, where the past Avengers were stood in a circle. You hadn’t seen him wear his entire uniform at that point.

He pretended to be offended, but the smile on his face gave him away. For a while, once again things seemed to be going smoothly… and then you and Steve ran into… past Steve.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” you both muttered at the same time.

After a lengthy battle between Steve and Steve with you helping out here and there, the 2 of you made your way back to re-group with Tony and Scott. Upon realizing that it was pretty much a fail, Tony suggested that he and Steve go further back, mentioning that they could get still get everything they needed. Once Scott was sent back to the compound, you told the 2 remaining men that you were going with them. Both protested, saying you’d already done more than enough. When you pointed out that you hardly did anything, mostly helped Steve fight himself, they were still reluctant. You pointed out that they’d given you a life you never thought you’d have, and you just wanted to help make sure everyone got what they wanted in the end, and you going with them was a way for you to do that.

You ignored the warning voice in your head. The one that reminded you what happened when you went back just a single decade. You barely left your bed, so what would happen when you went all the way back to 1970?

For the most part, nothing happened right away. But that was usually how it worked, if you travelled back and forth too quickly, you didn’t feel the effects until after. A rough plan was made, and you and Steve separated from Tony, with plans to meet back up as soon as possible.

As with every other thing you guys had done, there had to be at least a couple of hiccups. You and Steve managed to grab more Pym particles, but once you exited the room you quickly realized that at least a few people were on to you. Overhearing the woman from the elevator saying that she’d never seen you, Steve, and Tony before, you asked Steve what to do. He quickly put an arm around you and walked in the other direction, pretending to make small talk.

Once you were far enough away that you didn’t think they’d see, you walked through 2 random doors. You’d been the one to point out you should separate, that way if one of you got caught, the other was free to rescue them. You and Steve really should’ve paid more attention to where exactly you were going. The name on the door Steve had randomly chosen? Margaret Carter.

As he looked around the room, feeling his heart break when he saw that she still kept a photo of him from before the serum on his desk, you were frantically looking around, wondering where you could possibly hide. When the door handle twisted open, you thought well, I hope they make my death quick.

When you and Peggy locked eyes, she was a little surprised, to say the least. She hadn’t been told that anyone would be in the room, and she didn’t know of any other women currently working in that particular building. Steve watched, frozen, wondering if he should go help you. Peggy would recognize him, of course, but he couldn’t just leave you.

As you stammered through what you hoped was a believable excuse for why you were in there, Peggy surprised you by just straight up asking if you were from the future.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she gave you a small smile, noticing how nervous you seemed. “It’s alright, I’m not going to go running out screaming about you.”

“How— how did you—” You were still trying to process the fact that not only did she figure you out instantly, but she was so calm about it.

“There are things I’ve witnessed that if I heard about them from someone else, I might not even believe. But these days nothing surprises me. I also don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone dressed like you, your clothes are definitely from another time. By any chance are you working with Howard Stark? Time travel is something he dreams of doing one day too.”

You didn’t have the heart to tell her. And even if you did, you still wouldn’t have. Her knowing what eventually happens to him wouldn’t have done anything. “Umm, I’m working with someone that knows him,” you tried to tell her what you could, without straight up lying.

“Oh,” she shuffled through a few papers on a desk. You were still puzzled by her reaction, but were mentally trying to figure out a way to make your exit. Once she put the papers down, she turned to you, a smile on her face. “Do you use some sort of device? Or is it the suit you’re wearing?”

For a few seconds, you considered what / exactly how much you should tell her. But you couldn’t draw more attention to yourself by turning and running, and you figured since she was there for the super soldier serum with Steve, she must know at least a little about enhanced individuals. So you settled for the truth.

“I… it’s kind of weird, I guess? I just— I don’t know, really. I just do it. I have to think of a specific location and be specific with the exact year, month, day, and time too. But then I just concentrate and… I’m there. It sounds odd, I know, but I’ve been able to do this for as long as I can remember. This is the furthest I’ve travelled back though, and it’s mainly just for practice. I must’ve read about this place in a book or something.”

“Fascinating,” she whispered. “If I may ask, what year did you come from?”

“2023,” you said softly, again surprised at how she remained so calm.

“I’ll be an old woman by then, maybe I’m even gone already. But do we know each other at all? You just, you said you worked with someone who knew Howard, and I’ve worked with him quite a bit.”

“I’d heard a great deal about you, and you’re someone that I look up to and admire very much, but no I unfortunately never got to meet you.”

Before she could ask you another question, a series of loud knocks on the door caused you both to jump.

“Carter, you in there?” A voice called out loudly. “Word going around that there are three trespassers in the building, I’m supposed to check every room.”

Your eyes widened, and you looked around, seeing if there was any place you could hide. The door opened just then and Peggy stepped around you and pulled you in for a hug, the guy who entered now looking at your back.

“Just saying goodbye to an old friend,” she smiled at him, then turned her head slightly and whispered to you, “go straight into my office and exit from there. And keep up the good work, the world needs more women in charge,” she smiled and then quickly opened her office door, ushering you inside. “Now, what was that about trespassers?” She turned back to face the man in the room.

You prepared to run out of the room, and ran directly into Steve. He put his arms out to steady you, eyes still on the office next door.

“She… she knew I was here from the future. She’s distracting that man but we have to go now. I’ll tell you more later, promise.” With that, you both exited Peggy’s office. You quickly held a folder up in front of your face, and Steve put his glasses back. on. The building was a lot more crowded now, and you both hurried as you knew it was only a matter of time before someone noticed you were both out of place.

You and Steve made it outside just in time to see Tony saying goodbye to a man you assumed was his father, given that they hugged before parting ways. When you all arrived back at the compound, there was a brief moment of celebration as Rhodey exclaimed that he couldn’t believe it actually worked. Then when Clint dropped to his knees, reality and the full weight of the situation set in.

“Clint… where’s Nat?”

You and Clint seemed to take her death the hardest. Everyone missed her, of course, but you blamed yourselves. Clint felt like it was supposed to be him, he should’ve been the one to die. And you said it was meant to be you. You were supposed to go with him first, after all.

Traveling back 5 decades took it’s toll on you not long after you all went back into the compound again after that talk about Nat. Steve helped you back to your floor, insisting that you at least try and get a little bit of rest. He pointed out that they still had to figure out how to put the stones together, and they still had to decide who was going to actually be the one to snap. After promising that he’d tell you before anything happened and that they’d bring you in on any discussions, you agreed to rest.

You thought that you wouldn’t be able to fall asleep, but your body was so drained that in less than a minute, you were out cold. An unknown amount of time later, you were woken up by a phone call telling you to suit up and make your way to the labs. You quickly changed into the suit that Tony had given you a couple of years prior. You hadn’t used it yet since you weren’t going on missions, and this was the first time you put it on.

Once you joined the others, the arguing began. Thor felt it was his responsibility to put the glove on and be the one to snap, but Tony pointed out he was in no condition to do so.

You volunteered, but Tony cut you off with a swift “don’t even think about touching that glove kid. You travelled back over fifty years, and by the way I had to find out from Banner that traveling back that far could damage your health?” Knowing your body couldn’t handle it anyway, you stepped back.

In the end it was agreed upon that Bruce would do it. He was definitely still the biggest since he was partly trapped in the Hulk’s body. And the fact that it was mostly gamma radiation, he said he was the closest of everyone to being made for this.

No one was sure if it worked at first, until Clint got a call from Laura. He hadn’t even gotten a chance to answer though before something smashed through the glass windows, sending all of you flying backwards. Explosion after explosion… after explosion, none of you even had a second to process what was happening.

When you finally opened your eyes, you were trapped under a lot of rubble. You used what little strength you had left to move what you could, and just barely managed to crawl out. You panicked, looking around for anybody. Tripping over a big chunk of wall, you were caught with just inches between your face and the ground.

“Come on, no laying down on the job,” Pietro helped you up, holding his arm out so that he could help you walk. “We have to find a place for you to rest. I don’t know—”

You cut him off. “I’m staying with you guys.”

Once you, Steve, Pietro, Tony, Wanda, and Thor spotted Thanos, no one was really sure what to do. Steve said you all had to keep the stones away from Thanos. You pointed out that nobody knew where they were, and Tony said that could be used to your advantage. At this point it would be like looking for a needle in a haystack, and you all just had to distract Thanos. Pietro argued that it was a trap, why else would he be just sitting there? None of you knew how to respond at first, but when Thor said “let’s kill him properly this time”, something seemed to click.

The lightning drew Thanos’ attention, and he did nothing but watch as the 4 of you approached. From there, the battle really began. The red energy began to glow from your hands, and you were waiting for someone to signal to attack. Thor and Tony were first to strike, with the rest of you quickly joining in.

Thanos grabbed you by your neck and flung you to the side as if you weighed nothing, and you weren’t even able to process what was happening. Wanda, luckily, happened to see what happened and she used your powers to slow you down and gently set you on the ground. Pietro immediately ran towards you, but you assured him that you were fine. You didn’t really know if you were, but you did know that none of them could be distracted trying to save you.

It seemed like it happened in the blink of an eye, Thanos sent Tony, Wanda, and Pietro crashing at the same time, and neither seemed to be moving. Then he went after Thor, and you began to panic. You looked to your left, bending down and picking up the weapon next to you. “Steve!” You yelled, throwing it at him with no warning.

He caught Mjolnir, and when Thor realized what you both could do, he cheered. For at least a solid minute, you all had the upper hand. You and Steve basically threw Mjolnir back and forth, with Thanos in the middle as a sort of punching bag. Nothing could stand in the way of the hammer, so he was knocked down a few times. You raised and quickly slammed it down, causing lightning to erupt all around Thanos. Steve then managed to land a hit directly on him, but Thanos was quick to recover. Mjolnir was sent flying, and as you ran to get it, Steve faced Thanos by himself. You heard the sound of the shield coming apart, breaking as if it were simply made of glass.

You felt yourself getting weaker, but knew you couldn’t give up now. You grabbed hold of Mjolnir, but soon after, fell to the ground. You kept one hand on it though, and tried to pull yourself to a standing position as Thanos gave a big speech about what he was about to do to earth. Finally, you managed, standing next to Steve as you could do nothing but watch as Thanos’ massive army approached. You looked around, and realized that no one was getting up. It seemed to just be the 2 of you.

You held Mjolnir, and Steve held what was left of his shield, both of you limping forward, prepared to fight with only each other as backup. Then… static in both of your ear pieces.

“What the hell was that?” You tapped the piece, wondering if it was malfunctioning. Steve shook his head, not knowing what you all just heard either.

“Cap it’s Sam, can you hear me?” Came out as soft as a whisper. You almost didn’t catch it. “On your left.”

You both turned around, stunned into silence as people began to make their way through portals. But not just anyone. T’Challa, Shuri, and Okoye were first through a portal from Wakanda. Quickly followed by Sam, and then more and more portals began to open. Everyone walked or flew through, and prepared to fight.

You recognized everyone, having known who they were beforehand, or from seeing them on the news as some of the many people who disappeared five years ago. You stumbled, and Steve was quick to reach out and steady you again. You both had smiles on your faces, ignoring the pain and instead focusing on the fact that now, you stood a chance.

Just before Steve yelled out, you handed him Mjolnir, raising your hands and summoning the energy. This time, it was yellow. You had hope.

It was a long fight. You were unsure of how many people you actually managed to take down, once the enemy in front of you fell, you were right on to the next one.

At one point, you ended up with Stormbreaker. You saw it laying on the ground as Thor chose to take someone out the old fashioned way, with just his fists. He shook his head, holding Mjolnir out to you. “No, no you’re little. You take the little one,” you traded and he gave you a smile before taking off running.

What could’ve been minutes, or hours later, you didn’t know because the battle seemed to be lasting a lifetime, a boy you quickly recognized as Peter Parker landed beside you to help you up after you’d fallen.

“Holy cow, you’re really pretty. Are you hurt? You’re bleeding. Oh my God Mr. Stark,” he turned to face Tony, not even taking another breath before he continued on with the same sentence, “you will not believe what’s been going on. Do you remember when we were in space—”

Everything was pretty much a blur from there. As everyone worked together, eventually you, Thor and Steve made your way to Tony as he fought Thanos for the stones.

You were all so distracted by him throwing Carol to the side, that none of you noticed Tony slipping the stones out of Thanos’ glove and putting them on his own suit.

“I… am… Iron Man.”

It wasn’t long until Thanos and his army turned to dust, and you could’ve sworn you saw a sense of… acceptance? On his face just before he disappeared.

“Tony!” You caught him just before he hit a wall, and helped ease him onto the ground. “No, no no you can’t die, you… I’m gonna go back. I should’ve gone back and switched with Nat but I can do it now and… you have to— you can’t leave, Tony.” Your hands shook as you tried to remove the stones from his suit, but he used up what little energy he had left to place his hand on top of yours. When you looked up, all he could do was shake his head and whisper “don’t you dare”.

At Tony’s funeral, you stood behind Happy and Rhodey, between Steve and Peter, as you all said your final goodbyes. Nobody said a whole lot, and there were understandably a lot of tears.

When it was time to return the stones, you’d had nearly 2 weeks to recover, and were pretty much back to normal. Steve volunteered to do it alone, and up until the last second you begged him to let you go with him. It was dangerous, he’d have to go to more than one location, and if there were 2 of you, hopefully that would ensure that all the stones made it back to exactly where they needed to be. He told you that you’d done more than enough, he didn’t want to make you come along on one more journey to return them. But you insisted, pointing out once again that he was the first one to show you genuine kindness, and you’d never forgive yourself if something happened to him while going back in time.

He knew you still blamed yourself for Nat, and although he wasn’t necessarily worried about something happening to him, he was worried about your reaction if something did. So he reluctantly agreed. You quickly suited up, in another new suit that Tony had meant to give to you as a surprise, but Pepper instead gave to you a week after his funeral. He’d modified your suit to act similar to their time travel ones, in the hopes that they’d shorten your recovery time.

It took some discussing, but in the end you and Steve decided to stick together, not wanting to have a greater chance of something happening to one of you if you separated to speed things up. Those that were there all wished you luck, except for one person. Bucky didn’t understand why he couldn’t be the one to go back and help Steve. You missed his glare after he and Steve said their goodbyes and you both pressed the buttons on your suits and went back.

When you got back to 1970, it was only moments after you all left the first time after taking everything. You hoped your disguises were a lot better this time, and you were able to return things to their original places in record time. As you were walking back down the hall to make your way outside again, a hand grabbed your arm and quickly pulled you into a room.

You whipped around, surprised to be face-to-face with Peggy Carter again.

“What are you still doing here??”

After a moment, you realized that for her, only minutes had passed since she helped you sneak out. She probably thought you’d just been here the whole time instead of making your escape.

“No, I—”

“If they catch you, they’ll—”

You held your hands up. “I know. I know it looks bad. But I’ve only just go there, I swear it. We came back to return what we took.”

“We?”

You glanced outside, and saw Steve leaning against a wall, trying to be subtle as he glanced around wondering where the hell you ran off to. Sighing, and hoping this wouldn’t come back to bite you in the ass, you quickly opened the door and pulled him into the room.

“Wh- Steve?” Shock was written all over her face. “But… how?”

“I’ll give you two a minute,” you opened the door and stepped into the room that for Peggy, she’d all but pushed you out of just minutes before.

You waited nearly 10 minutes before Steve finally joined you in the other room. One look at him, and you knew before he even said anything. Neither of you spoke as he pulled you in for a hug, thanking you for everything that you’d done. You reminded him that he literally saved your life, and you were the one that should be thanking him.

After a minute, you finally stepped apart. Peggy joined you both, and asked if even you wanted to stay too, adding that she could bring you on as one of her partners, and mentioning that the world now especially, really could use more women in charge. You gave her a hug, saying you appreciated the offer, but this wasn’t your time. Steve gave you one last hug, and then you went back.

When you returned alone, no one understood why. Sam started freaking out about getting Steve back, while Bruce frantically worked to fix what he thought was a mistake he made. Bucky finally approached, not making eye contact with you. He was visibly upset, and instead turned to Sam to ask where Steve was.

You walked away, not having the energy to try and analyze Bucky’s attitude towards you. “Guys,” you called out to them after a moment, pointing at a lone figure sitting on a bench. Sam was first to walk up next to you, and he was confused. He looked at the old man, then back at you. Once you said “Peggy”, his eyes widened as he finally understood. “Go talk to him,” you motioned.

On your way back to talk to Bruce, you shook your head as a sudden headache came on. He asked if you were okay, and you nodded, saying it was just the usual symptoms that came with you having to travel back so far. It wasn’t nearly as bad last time, and you silently thanked Tony for your new suit.

For a while, you continued living with Pepper and Morgan. You offered to leave, but Pepper insisted that they both wanted you to stay, and that if he were still there, Tony wouldn’t have let you leave either. But when she announced that she wanted to move to an apartment because living in the cabin was too much, you decided to move back into the compound.

(Almost) everyone was ecstatic to hear about your return. They missed your cooking, and Sam called you twice to ask if you’d be making dinner for everyone the night you returned.

You didn’t know what would become of you and James, but you weren’t expecting it to be… this. That first night as soon as you walked into the kitchen, while everyone else greeted you with a hug, you noticed him sneaking off to his room, not saying a word to anyone. You brushed it off as him being tired, or maybe he’d already eaten. You asked Sam if he knew what was up, but he just shrugged and told you to give the guy some time.

When you moved back in, you weren’t sure where you were going to go. Since James was obviously back and you didn’t expect to move back to the 4th floor because it was his place first. A few days after that dinner, Wanda and Pietro came over to help you pack up your things. Sam, Bruce, and Rhodey offered to come too, but you pointed out that you didn’t own much and it should all fit in 2 vehicles. A couple of hours later, the last box had been taped shut. You hugged Pepper and Morgan goodbye, the latter making you promise to come over to their place for a sleepover once they settled in.

Once you pulled up to the newly built compound, Sam immediately started helping the 3 of you carry your boxes. When you all got into the elevator and you noticed what button Sam pushed, you nearly dropped the box you were carrying.

“… did you mean to press another floor?”

Sam glanced at the buttons, shaking his head. “Nope. Fourth floor.”

“You do realize that James hates me right?”

“Wow, James huh.”

You failed to resist the urge to roll your eyes. “Well we’re not friends so I don’t think he’d like me calling him Bucky. Why am I going back to that floor Sam? He lived there first. And I think—”

“Relax, it’s fine. All floors are either still being renovated, or they already have two occupants. I’m on the same floor as Bruce, the wonder twins here are sharing a floor, Thor technically has his own floor because Peter’s hardly ever here but it’s still crowded with way too much stuff, and I don’t think you want the floor that the Guardians have been using. They’re not here either, off doing space shit or whatever, but if you go down there it looks like they left behind everything they owned. Barnes is the only one not sharing a floor. He doesn’t have a lot of stuff, and it pretty much looks the same as when you left it.”

“So he said it was okay if I moved in with him temporarily?”

Sam bit his lip, remaining silent as you all got off on the 4th floor and made your way to one end. “I mean, he.. didn’t… say… that it wasn’t… okay?”

You looked at Pietro and Wanda who both suddenly became really interested in trying to remove the tape from the boxes. “Let me guess. Because you haven’t asked him??”

Pietro put an arm around you, leading you back out toward the elevators. “Come on we have lots more boxes to bring up! I thought you said you didn’t have a lot of stuff princess?”

You were grateful that the next 2 hours brought lots of distraction. It didn’t take long to bring the rest of your stuff up, because Pietro loved to show off to you and was able to bring up nearly everything by the time you made one more trip. You then opened the boxes and unpacked them one at a time, deciding this was better than opening everything because you knew your anxiety would creep in and it would all look like too much to do if every single box was opened together.

You took your time unpacking your clothes and what little decor you brought, but a lot of things were kept in boxes, all shoved into the spare bedroom next door. The floor held 4 rooms in total, and you were grateful that Sam at least gave you the one on the opposite end from James. And even though the floor now looked pretty empty, you didn’t want to overstep and make him hate you even more by putting out any of your little decorations.

The first time, you were eager to decorate and make it your own, once you started to come out of your shell. But now, James being there terrified you. He hadn’t once smiled at you, and you didn’t think he’d even said a single word to you now that you thought about it. You didn’t know why he seemed to hate you so much, when you know he had opened up to Sam and started to open up to everyone else, too.

And how could you know? He didn’t tell you that he was angry that you went back in time with Steve. He didn’t tell you that he was upset because he felt like if he had been the one to go back, then he could’ve convinced Steve to come back too. He knew it was selfish, Steve deserved a happy life with someone he loved more than anyone James knew, but he couldn’t help it. He didn’t know anything about you, including your past, and how you came to live with the Avengers. And he convinced himself that he didn’t want to know anything about you. All he knew (or thought he knew) was that you were the reason his best friend stayed in the past and left him.

One evening when Steve came to visit everyone at the compound, he noticed that as soon as James entered the living room, you were quick to say you weren’t that hungry and you’d come finish your food later. When he looked over and saw the dirty look James was giving you, it didn’t take long to figure out why. As much as he wanted to tell your story, because he knew it would make him ease up, he didn’t. It wasn’t his place to, at least not without asking you first. So after he quickly finished his food, Steve excused himself from the room and went to go check on you.

You’d locked your bedroom door, but when it opened a few seconds later you stood up in shock. “How the fu—”

“Language,” he shook his head, and was relieved when that got you to smile. “Come on, who do you think was the one that hid all the spare keys?”

“Wait there were spare keys this whole time??” You held your hand out, and he chuckled as he dropped the key into your hand. You put it on your dresser, and turned back around, waiting for Steve to speak first.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on between you and Bucky?”

You raised your eyebrows at him, waiting for a few seconds to see if he’d elaborate. He didn’t. “Umm… nothing? We’ve literally never spoken to each other.”

Steve sighed, feeling torn. “Neither of you have tried to speak to each other?”

You shook your head, standing up and rearranging something on your desk that didn’t need rearranging.

“Buck… he’s been through a lot. And—”

“You don’t have to explain, Steve. I get it. Was I expecting to become best friends? No. But the fact that he can’t even make eye contact with me without looking like he wants to kill me in my sleep is quickly becoming a bit much. Why do you think I left the room so quickly?”

He hadn’t realized it was getting that bad. Last he spoke to his best friend, he downplayed it saying you guys just haven’t really spoken to each other. He made it seem like it was because of your schedules, which seemed odd, given that Bucky wasn’t going on missions yet, and you rarely did.

“I think if you just give him a little time, maybe if he learns about what you’ve been through because I know he’d understand—”

“No,” you shook your head again. “I’m sorry to keep cutting you off, but no. I’m not going to dump my trauma on someone to try and guilt them into becoming my friend. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, fine. Rhodey said it’s just 3 more months of renovations and then I can move to my own floor. So we’re all good, really.”

The sadness in your tone of voice said otherwise.

“You want me to try and talk to him?” Steve hated seeing you like this. Before… everything, happened, despite all that you’d been through, you were one of the nicest people he knew. Fighting alongside you was the first time he saw that side of you. Even way back when he and Nat first rescued you, he could tell you didn’t want that life.

“Thank you, but no. It won’t make a difference,” you shrugged sadly.

As much as he wanted to protest, because he knew there’d be a change of heart, he agreed and promised that he’d stay quiet.

Truthfully, you wondered if part of the reason that James hated you was because of your involvement with New Hydra. You knew he put all the Winter Soldier stuff behind him, or tried to as much as he could anyway, and you wondered if he was so distant because he wanted nothing to do with any of that. You had no idea that he didn’t know any of it.

such a shitty place to cut it off hdfaldkfa BUT like i mentioned this was all originally just 1 big part with 34k+ words so i had to pick somewhere to split the chapters!

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail JohnJaeNNN@NCTU.com to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.�� You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.” And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

[immersed-in-mischief]

Something Good (Tom Hiddleston x Female Reader) Part 60- FINALE

Here it is, folks. The finale to Hollywood and Georgia's love story. I can't express how much all of your love and support has meant to me over the last few months. It still amazes me how a little seed of an idea turned into THIS!! While the story still went about how I expected it to, these character have a life of their own and wrote their own story. I am sad to wrap things up for them, but am looking forward to starting another series.

I am still adding to the list of one shots for these two, so feel free to send in your ideas. I'm hoping to get time to relax this weekend over the holidays and get a few of them written out.

I am also starting a new series soon, so stay turned! I am hoping to post a teaser for it either tonight or tomorrow. Loki is certainly ready to be back in the spotlight again and has been demanding my attention lately.

Without further ado, the ending to Something Good!

Song inspiration: "I Don't Want to Go to Heaven" By Nate Smith

Read the previous parts here

Mischief makers: @ruiningthe1975 @nms224 @youlightmeupfinn @salempoe @lokiprompts @oasiswithmyg @saltandapepper @chwlogy @locht3ssmonster @mad4marvelloki @sititran @dryyoursaltyoceantears @ca-loki @nurisiliel @thankyouforanonymity @tgaylorxoxo @ordinarylokix @1marvelnerd3000 @queenofallhobos @marvelgirl0515 @augusta-imperatrix @deanaddicted2 @geekwritersworld @donttouchmylaevateinn @rogerrhqpsody @artof-aristocracy @vampire7595 @naturalavenger @dangertoozmanykids101 @nicole-lightfoot @mm2305 @lokistoriesblog @rosec0lored @lokiswildheartcantbebroken @morganmofresh @lienoec @christineblood @asgardianprincess1050 @i-beg-your-pardon-laufeyson @prettylittlepluviophile @michakune @lizolsensgf @pakalanalei @develin13 @mariahlaufeyson @huntress-artemiss @newtomofgods @agentkinghorn @d1a2n389 @gold-bea @bouffantofdoom @toujurspure @moon-mayari @sleutherclaw @my-river-lilly @blackwidownat2814 @olaxhollander @paetonnn

SEVEN YEARS LATER

Tom took a break from fixing the stable gate to wipe his brow and take a drink from the bottle of water he had been smart enough to bring outside with him. While he had a moment alone, he continued to try to come up with ideas for your wedding anniversary in two weeks. Over the years, it had been harder to come up with original ways to celebrate. After having checked off every destination on your travel bucket list long ago, the two of you had revisited your favorite places many times by now and had started doing things closer to home during his downtime. Just as it always did when he planned out the special ways to celebrate the day, his mind drifted back to your first year of marriage and the craziness of it all. The first memory that came to his thoughts every single time was the family party at Downey’s.

JUNE

“Are you sure you feel up to it, darling? I’m sure they would understand if we missed this once.”

You splashed water on your face and stared at your pale face in the mirror. Even with the butterflies in your stomach, you let a slight grin turn up the corner of your lips as you opened the bathroom door and joined your husband in the hotel room.

“I’m sure, babe. Just a little motion sick from the flight. That’s all. I’ll get a little food in me and I’ll be fine. We haven’t had a family barbeque at Robert and Susan’s in two years. I am not missing this.”

Tom rolled his eyes before finishing up the email he was working on and sending it off. After taking six weeks instead of four for your honeymoon, he was slightly behind on his responsibilities. Luke had been gracious enough to cover what he could, but there were still plenty of things that he had to handle personally now that he was under contract once again. The month-long honeymoon he had planned was incredible. The two of you saw so many amazing places together. He had taken you back to some of your favorite places, marked a few off your travel bucket list, and even returned to South America and the Caribbean together this time. You did not participate in bungee jumping this time while he was by your side, however. The last two weeks were spent together hiding out in your London home without informing anyone that you were home again. He didn’t know what it was about being married now, but it only made you more desirable in his eyes. As if he couldn’t keep his hands off of you before, the ring on his finger and knowing that you were now Y/N Hiddleston according to all of your documents seemed to only amplify his need for you. You certainly hadn’t been complaining though as it seemed to have the same effect on you as well.

“Done… shall we, my love?”

He closed the laptop on the desk and grabbed his wallet and car keys to meet you at the door to the suite. The second the rest of the group had found out that you and Tom would be in L.A. this week for business, they insisted that everyone get together.

Has it really been two years already?”

You wrapped your arms around his waist as he placed his arm protectively around your shoulders on the ride down to the car.

“It certainly has, Hollywood. Last time we did this was trip week when we went to Hawaii.”

“Hmm… things certainly took an interesting turn immediately after, George.”

“I’d say so!”

The ride there was comfortably quiet, although he noticed that you seemed deep in thought as you stared out the window. Once the car was parked in the driveway, Tom immediately came around to open the door for you, earning him a quick kiss. The mischievous smirk on your face intrigued him, but you headed off towards the door before he could push further.

“Hey! The newlyweds decided to join the world again!”

Upon Robert’s comment, everyone turned and cheered for you noticing your arrival. The two of you blushed as you walked in hand and hand to the party that was already on going in the backyard.

“Apologies, the Mrs. needed some time to rest after the flight in this morning.”

After everyone had their hugs and greetings, Evans was the first to speak up and ask what everyone was dying to know.

“Alright, spill it you two. What business does Tom have in L.A. and why are you two so secretive about it? We’ve been taking bets and I’m ready to collect my winnings.”

Rolling his eyes at him before looking over at you with a smile, you gave him the nod to tell them.

“I have some meetings lined up for my next project. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone but Georgia until this morning. It appears that Marvel will no longer be my primary franchise, unfortunately.”

The gasps around the table led to an uproar of confusion.

“Don’t tell me Loki is actually dead this time! If they were to boot any of us out, it would be Holland or Ruffalo with as many spoilers as they have under their belt over the years.”

Everyone knew Mackie was kidding, but it still got a laugh. Once they calmed down slightly, he continued.

“While I haven’t heard anything about getting a season three on Loki, I’m always open to bringing Mischief back… I never thought I’d say this in my lifetime, but… it appears that I am going to be the next James Bond.”

The scream and shouts were deafening as they looked back and forth between the two of you in shock.

“That’s amazing!”

“Wow, Congrats man!”

“I’m glad you didn’t really quit the business!”

After everyone got their hugs in, he filled them all in on the rushed audition and finding out at the wedding.

“You can’t imagine how hard it’s been to keep this secret for two months! The announcement is going to the press tomorrow when the cast list for the next movie releases. It still feels like a dream.”

You smiled proudly at your husband beside you as he caught up with everyone. After a while, you looked over at Scarlett and gave her the look. With a wink, she played along.

“Well, I think this deserves a round of drinks to celebrate. Want to do the honors, Georgia?”

“Of course!”

Giving Tom a few short kisses, you made your way over to the bar to get started on everyone’s requests. He had been distracted with catching up with the guys and didn’t notice the drink placed in front of him. When a second glass was handed to him, he finally looked down at it before glancing up at Scarlett. He instantly recognized the cocktail from memory.

“Oh, this one is Georgia’s. I think you grabbed the wrong glass, love.”

The smirk on her face confused him as she crossed her arms.

“No, Hiddleston, I’m pretty sure I gave you the right one per your wife’s orders.”

Glancing over at you, the expression on your face almost seemed… nervous maybe? Tom shook his head and went to set the glass down on the table and noticed the note in front of him for the first time. The cocktail napkin that had been under the drink had your handwriting on it.

Looks like you’re drinking for us both now babe.

Holding the note in front of him to read it again, he turned in his chair to look over at you with an expression that told you he was absolutely lost to the meaning behind it. Waiting for the light to go off above his head, you leaned against the bar on your elbows and patiently waited. Looking down at the napkin one last time, you could physically see things click into place for him.

His eyes widened. His face turned ghostly pale. He tilted his head and stared at you as if to ask you to confirm his suspicions.

When you smiled at him and nodded, he flew into action. The chair he had occupied crashed against the patio as he bolt towards you. Everyone at the table jumped at the noise and immediately became alarmed. Everyone except Scarlett, who just smiled at the two of you with tears in her eyes.

“What the hell is going on?!”

Robert was already up from his seat as he watched Tom sprint around the pool. Without looking away from the two of you, she spoke over her shoulder to the rest of the group.

“Apparently the newlyweds came home with a little souvenir…”

You already had tears streaming down your cheeks by the time he reached the bar where you were standing. Seeing that he wasn’t stopping, you jumped and let him pick you up as you wrapped your legs around his waist. Letting out an excited yell, he held you against his chest as he spun you around. The groan you let out made him immediately stand still.

“Easy, babe. You might see dinner in a minute if you keep that up.”

Setting you back down on your feet, he stared down at you with so much love in his eyes that your worries about telling him vanished.

“The motion sickness on the jet…”

Shaking your head, you wrapped you arms around his neck as you took a moment together.

“Most definitely not motion sickness. I needed a cover story until I told you tonight with Scar’s help. Morning sickness is a lie. It should be called worst-possible-time sickness.”

As he tucked the hair behind your ear and let his fingers linger against your cheek, his mind started to catch up to the moment.

“Wait, aren’t you-“

You cut him off and stepped in to answer the question you knew he was asking.

“Well, Thomas William, it appears that we finally found something that can’t just easily be picked up on our travels if left at home. Apparently, there was one very important thing you neglected to pack in my bag for your secret honeymoon… top right in the medicine cabinet?”

His jaw dropped as he realized his mistake.

Your birth control pills.

“Oh… but your alarm.”

“The alarm that is on my cell to remind me each day to take said pills? Need I remind you about your no phone policy that you stated was necessary for complete privacy as you focused solely on your bride?”

His cheeks turned bright red. You certainly made him see the errors of his ways. As a smile returned to his face once again, he knew he would make the mistake again if given the chance. He was over the moon right now. When he leaned down and finally kissed you, his hand instinctively came to rest on your stomach. The wolf whistles across the yard broke the kiss as the two of you laughed. With your forehead resting against his, you rested your hand on his on your soon to be bump.

“I suppose we should fill in the rest of the group, baby.”

“Oh, by the looks they are giving us right now, I think they’ve already figured it out. That or Scar has already spilled the beans. She’s been dying to tell someone since I called her yesterday to surprise you.”

Shaking his head, he laced his fingers with yours and led you back over to the table. They couldn’t wait to give hugs and met the two of you halfway. Robert kissed your head before letting you go.

“That’s amazing news, guys. So, when is Baby Hiddles making their appearance.”

Tom realized he didn’t even know in that moment and looked to you for answers.

“January… we’re currently 8 weeks along, 9 in a few days.”

“A honeymoon baby! Go Hiddleston!”

He blushed again at Evans comment and smiled back at you before pulling you down into his lap as everyone returned to their seats at the table.

“I know we had planned on waiting a while, Hollywood. Are you still okay with this? It’s certainly fast.”

The smile on his face and tears in his eyes told you how he felt.

“More than okay, my love. I’ve never been happier.”

AUGUST

“Did you want to find out the gender today? You should be far enough along for us to see on your ultrasound.”

You looked up at Tom with an uncertain look. He rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Georgia, you know how I feel. I am fine either way. You are you the one who has changed their mind three times this week alone, darling. It’s your call.”

When you had stopped in Atlanta on your way back to London at the end of the business trip in June, your mother had been so happy she cried and wouldn’t let you go. She had asked how far along you were, when you were due, and asked if you wanted to know the sex of the baby. Diana had been the same way when you had her and Emma over for lunch the next week to tell them the news. Even Sarah had asked over video chat when the two of you told her the news. You on the other hand still couldn’t decide. It would be nice to know to be able to better shop, but it really didn’t matter to you as long as they were healthy.

“No, don’t tell us. We want to be surprised.”

The technician smiled and began the ultrasound. Just as she was about to turn on the screen on the wall so the two of you could see the baby, she froze. The expression on her face was either confusion or concern. Neither of those emotions made you feel confident right now.

“What is it? Is there something wrong with the baby!?”

Tom’s focus shifted between you and the technician as he gripped your hand tightly. When the woman didn’t answer for a moment and continued to adjust the wand on your already sizeable bump, both of you seemed to hold your breath.

“Mrs. Hiddleston, you said you have had a previous ultrasound?”

“Yes, at 10 weeks. Why? Just please tell me their okay.”

She finally took a deep breath and her eyes darted over to the two of you before looking at her monitor once again. The smile she gave you helped ease your anxiety just slightly.

“We still need the doctor to come in to confirm, but it appears that there are two.”

“WHAT?”

Tom and you both looked at each other as you spoke in stereo. Finally pulling his gaze away from you, he found his voice again.

“Pardon. Did you say two? As in…”

“Twins. Your wife is carrying twins. It’s easy to miss on early ultrasounds. Sometimes one baby hides behind the other until they are bigger and easier to see.”

When he looked down at you with tears in his eyes, you hadn’t moved from your previous position, obviously still in shock. The technician excused herself to go get the doctor. Once alone in the room, he placed his hands on either side of your face and directed your focus onto him.

“Darling? Say something.”

Snapping out of the trance, you let out a growl and covered your face with your hands.

“Hiddleston, must you give 110% to EVERYTHING!? Twins, Thomas William? You distract me with a six-week marathon in bed and nearly every surface nearby and not only knock me up in the process, but with two babies?! I was finally getting used to the idea of having a baby and we just threw another one into the mix.”

He couldn’t help but laugh at the insanity of it all.

“Well, Georgia, you of all people should know that I never half-ass anything, love. If the frequency had anything to do with the number of babies, you would certainly be carrying an entire litter, darling. I don’t think it works like that, however.”

“Not helping.”

A moment later, the doctor returned. She quickly scanned the monitor and smiled at the two of you. With the press of a button, the screen on the wall in front of you turned on and the sound of two separate fast-beating heartbeats echoed around the room. The sound brought tears to your eyes as you looked up at Tom to find his eyes glistening as well. After adjusting the wand on your bump, you saw both of them on the screen at the same time.

“The technician said you don’t want to find out the sex?”

“I want to know now!”

Rolling his eyes, he looked down at you again.

“Love, you just said you wanted it to be a surprise.”

The glare on your face told him that was in fact the incorrect response. If there was one thing he had learned in the last 16 weeks, he did not want to be on your bad side. Pregnancy hormones were nothing to joke with. If you weren’t mad, you were either crying or trying to seduce him. Although the increase to your already high libido was certainly not a complaint of his. The fact that you had taken a “right here right now” approach to your sex life together was just another plus. Every single room in the house had seen some action, including both his Jaguar and your SUV. Hell, you even had him take you on top of the washing machine last week after you saw him switching out the laundry for you.

“The lady just told us we’re having twins, Hiddleston. That’s a big enough surprise. I want to know the gender of these kids.”

Without another word, he nodded at the doctor and took your hand in both of his. After a few quiet minutes while she checked on the development of both babies, she took a deep breath and looked at the two of you again.

“This little one is Baby A and is currently laying across the top. She’s a perfectly healthy baby girl.”

You gasped as you looked up at Tom again. A little girl. You already pictured her with your hair and eyes or looking just like her daddy with blond curls and bright blue eyes. Either way, something told you that she would be a daddy’s girl and be attached to your husband.

“Baby B is down here and to the right side right now. Everything is looking great so far.”

Tom felt you squeeze his hand tightly as the doctor tried to get a closer look.

“It’s a boy.”

A sob broke free from your throat at the news. A son anda daughter. This time last year, you were making the decision to return to Tom’s side once again. Just one short year later, you had worked things out, dated, gotten engaged, married, and were now expecting twins. It almost made your head spin. You looked up at the man beside you and watched him stare at the screen with amazement. It seemed impossible, but the thought of seeing him as a father soon made you fall in love with him even more in this moment. Life was truly perfect right now.

DECEMBER

“A little to the left.”

Tom stood on the tips of his toes and shifted the star on the tree slightly.

“Not your left, my left.”

With a frustrated sigh, he turned around and looked at you.

“Baby, my left is your left. We are facing the same direction.”

“Fine. Then go a little the other way.”

He mumbled under his breath and hoped you didn’t hear him.

That direction is usually called right…

“I heard that… stop! Right there!”

His shoulders ached from decorating the tree for the last three hours from your directions spoken from your post on the couch behind him. The sight of him rubbing his shoulder brought the tears back again. This was the third time today. The hormones were killing you both.

“Darling, what’s wrong? Are you thinking about that commercial with the puppy again?”

You cried harder now.

“I wasn’t until you brought it up again!”

Closing his eyes, he came over to sit beside you on the sofa. Pulling your legs into his lap, he started massaging your swollen ankles and feet knowing it made you calm down and relax.

“I just hate that it’s our first Christmas together as a married couple and I can’t do a single thing but sit here like a beached whale. You’re having to do everything for me and I hate it, babe. There is so much I wanted to do together and now we can’t.”

After getting contractions a few weeks ago, the doctor put you on restrictions. They consisted of not lifting anything and keeping walking to a minimum. You essentially went from the bed to the couch every day and the lack of movement was starting to make you a little stir crazy. Because you were nearly 9 months pregnant, it was decided that everyone would be having Christmas at your home in London this year instead of making the trip out to his mother’s. Your mom was even flying in and staying for a few months to help take care of you until the babies arrived and then help with them as well. Filming had begun in mid-October and he was only on break for two weeks over the holidays. It made him feel better to know that your mother would be here with you during the day. His mother, Emma, and Luke had all taken shifts to stay with you while he was working the last few weeks.

“Baby, look at me. You aren’t sitting around doing nothing. You are growing our babies, my love. That is your job right now and my job is to take care of you. So, if you want the tree decorated perfectly, then I will decorate it perfectly. We have so many more years to do the activities you wanted to do this year, except we will have two little ones to share it all with, George. Just think about Christmas next year. We will have nearly one-year old twins who will be celebrating their first Christmas. How amazing will that be, darling? The ice skating, tree lighting, and winter market will all still be there next year. This year is just about keeping our son and daughter safe and cozy right here.”

His hand came up and gently cradled your extremely large bump. It never ceased to amaze him. Seeing you pregnant with his children did so many things to him. It both drove him wild and fulfilled so many dreams and wishes he had over the years. Tom couldn’t wait to see you cradling two infants as the mother of his children. Somehow, he had successfully defused the situation for now. You watched as he stood and reached out for your hands to pull you up off the couch. The action was starting to become exhausting to you both. He would never admit it to you, but he was glad that the contract for Bond had a strict workout regimen. The extra upper body strength was coming in handy the further along you were in the pregnancy.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s get you up to bed. You can watch me work on the nursery and tell me all the things I’m doing wrong before our guests arrive tomorrow.”

The fact that you didn’t argue his comment told him it was going to be a long evening as you supervised his movements in the room off the master bedroom that would soon contain two little miracles.

JANUARY

“Alright everyone, let’s run through the scene one more time before we move on.”

Tom stretched the muscles in his neck and back. It was a cold and rainy winter day, which happen to be the exact weather required for the outdoor scene being shot right now. After arriving at the studio this morning, the decision had already been made to switch the schedule up to film the current scene about an hour outside of London. He didn’t like being so far away with you currently 37 weeks pregnant. Just in case, he made sure to keep the volume up on his phone. Before leaving each morning for filming the last two weeks, he made both you and your mother promise to call him with anything, whether your water broke or you were just having contractions, no matter how small. To say that he was antsy today was an understatement. Looking down at the watch on his wrist, he noticed it was already coming up on four o’clock. Maybe this would be the last scene for the day.

“Places, everyone!”

Just as he made it back over to his mark, a flash of movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. A production assistant was running full speed through the crowd of crew members behind the line of cameras and making a line straight towards the director. His stomach starting to knot. Something was off and he hadn’t been able to shake the feeling all day. Time seemed to come to a complete stop as he watched the PA hand off the satellite phone to him.

The one on set for emergency situations.

The director looked across the set to find Tom already sprinting straight to him. By the time he reached him, he heard the concern in his voice as he spoke.

“Yes, of course! He’s right here!”

As he took the phone, he bent over to catch his breath and try to prevent his stomach from fluttering as the nausea kicked in from his panic.

“What’s wrong!? What’s happened?!”

“Thomas, thank God! I’m at the studio looking for you mate! Where the hell are you!?”

It was Luke. He honestly expected it to be your voice.

“They changed the schedule. I’m on a remote set. Is everything alright?”

“No Hiddleston, I would most certainly say its not alright. Georgia has been calling your phone for the last four hours! The babies are coming and they are coming fast, Tom. Catherine and Diana are with her at the hospital. She specifically told me that if I did not report back with you, I would be in the hospital bed next to hers!”

He ran over to his bag on set and retrieved his phone to find it had no reception out here.

“Shit! I’m an hour away, Luke. I’m headed to the car now. I’ll call George the second I get reception. Please call her, mate. Let her know I’m coming!”

Hanging up the phone and handed it back over, the director required no explanation knowing the situation.

“Go! We’ll move on without you, Tom!”

Within five minutes, he was changed out of his costume and back in his shirt and jeans and jumping in the Jag to head back into town. Without taking his eyes off the road in front of him, he reached down and pressed the speed dial button for your cell on the console. Time after time, he would only get the continuous beeps as the call refused to go through.

“Bloody hell! Come on! Come on!”

He had been on the road for nearly ten minutes when the sound of ringing came through the speakers. On the second ring, he heard his mother’s voice on the line.

“Thomas, please tell me you are nearly here!”

“I’m about forty minutes out but racing back now. Please, Mum. Let me talk to her.”

Tom glanced down at the navigation screen and switched the destination to the other way into town. It would put him closer to the hospital and luckily had a straight span of road that he could use to make up time without having to slow down for the wet curves. He could hear heavy breathing on the phone and his heart started to break for you. When the contraction passed, he heard rustling on the other end as you put the phone to your ear.

“THOMAS WILLIAM HIDDLESTON, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU!?”

“I’m so sorry, baby. They switched me to remote at the last minute. I had no idea I had no reception. I’m racing to you now, darling.”

The growl that escaped your throat made him feel worse.

“I could just kill you right now, Hiddleston. How long until you get here?”

“Half hour, my love. How far apart are they? Has the doctor been in yet?”

He could tell by the familiar sound that you were currently rolling back and forth on the giant rubber ball that had been the only thing to give you comfort this week from the pain in your hips.

“Contractions are… five minutes apart. Doc was just in and said I’m already at a 5 approaching 6. Your children are trying to fly out of me right now and not gently, I might add!”

Tom swallowed hard. In the birthing classes the two of you had attended together and all the books he had read recently had said that after hitting the top of the hill at 5 centimeters, labor only sped up from there in most cases. He truly was racing against the clock to get to your side, or he would actually be missing the birth of his children. The straight away was approaching and he made a decision.

“Let’s see what this Jaguar can do…”

Checking to make sure no one else was around, he hit the performance button on the console beside him and pressed the accelerator to the floor. The engine roared as it shot down the stretch of road. More to himself than to you, he mumbled under his breath and watched as the speedometer easily flew to speeds he had never attempted, though he knew the vehicle could certainly handle it with ease. You let out a long low groan as the next contraction began and he jumped into action.

“Baby, put me on speaker and set the phone down.”

Without a word, he heard the sounds around the room become clear and he knew that both your mother and his could hear him now.

“You’re doing amazing, my love. Just keep breathing through it. Long, slow breaths just like we practiced in class. Mum, is she still on the ball?”

Both moms answered him at the same time.

“Yes.”

“Alright, one of you needs to support her back. Palms on either side of her spine at her hips and press out and around her sides. It’s supposed to help relieve the pressure. I need the other one to help her stand and let her hang onto you and sway her back and forth.”

The change in position seemed to help as your moan turned from a pained one to a slightly more relaxed one. Keeping his voice level and calm, he continued talking you through the remainder of the contraction.

“Just a little while longer, baby. You’re doing so great. That’s it. Long and slow. Breath in and let it out.”

Finally, you let out a tired sigh.

“Babe, I need you.”

His eyes filled with tears as your voice broke. The pain and exhaustion was clear over the phone.

“I know, sweetheart. I’m so sorry. I’m on the edge of town now. Just a little longer, baby.”

Slowing down slightly to weave in and out of traffic, Tom helped coach you through the next two contractions with the help of both mothers. Finding a way to use your voice, you helped them get their hands in the right spot on your back to counter the pressure on your hips from the back labor. The third contraction was just ending when a series of beeps and alarms sounded off in the room. He could see the building a few blocks down and his hands began to shake.

“What is that? What’s happening? Somebody talk to me!”

A flood of voices began talking over one another on the phone. He could barely make out his mother’s voice and your sobs. Finally, another voice spoke up as the alarm turned off. He recognized it as your doctor’s.

“Y/N, keep taking deep breaths for me. We’re going to put an oxygen mask on you right now to help the babies. Baby B’s heart rate is dropping. We’ve got to get them delivered now. I’m sorry. We won’t be able to wait on Tom to get here.”

He gasped for breath as he turned into the parking lot outside the series of buildings that made up the medical facility.

“I’m here! I’m here!”

The noise seemed to stop as they remembered he was on speaker phone. A rustling came across the line as the phone was being picked up. He went down the next aisle to find any available parking space he could find. Part of him was tempted to throw the car into park and just get it towed.

“Tom? This is Dr. Green. Did you catch all of that?”

“Yes! What’s happening?”

“Your son’s heart rate is dipping too low during your wife’s contractions. He isn’t tolerating the speed of her labor and he is going into distress. We’re prepping her right now for a c-section. Where are you right now?”

An open parking spot came into view and he raced towards it.

“Parking now! Where do I need to go? I’m coming in the east entrance!”

“Head to the elevators. 3rd floor. Left and all the way at the end of the hall. I’ll have scrubs waiting for you, but you need to hurry, Tom.”

Throwing the car in park, he took a deep breath and tried to stay calm.

“I’m coming, baby. Just hang on. I love you.”

Ending the call as he shut off the engine, he sprinted across the parking lot, weaving between the rows of vehicles in his path. In this moment, he was glad he still ran regularly and had increased his endurance for the action required for the role. The doors were barely open before he slid past them and continued to run towards the elevator. After pressing the call button. He watched the lights slowly light up as the lift made its way down towards him. When it stopped on the 5th floor, he abandoned it and flung open the door to the stairwell beside him. Taking the steps two and sometimes three at a time thanks to his long legs, he made it up to the third floor in a blink of an eye. When he took a left and rounded the corner, he saw his mother pacing the floor at the end of the hall in front of a set of double doors. She had tears in her eyes as she looked up at him.

“Cat’s with her. Go, Tom! I love you, son!”

Only offering her a pained smile, he continued his grueling pace past her and through the doors. Just as she promised, a nurse was standing there waiting for him with a pair of blue scrubs in her arms. Throwing the shirt at him, she knelt down and had him step into the oversized matching blue pants. It was almost if they had practiced the costume change numerous times. Between his theatre experience and her role in emergency medicine, they both had done this before. Just as he was pulling the shirt over his own, she had the pants up to his knees and was having him step into the booties to cover his shoes. He pulled the pants up the rest of the way and took the mask from her outstretched hand before she turned and bolted down a long hallway.

“This way, dad!”

If he wasn’t in a total panic, his heart might have softened at the title. The two of them stopped in front of a door and she gestured for him to go inside.

“They’re just getting started. There’s a stool beside mom for you.”

With a nod, he quietly slipped into the room as to not disturb the team of doctors that were already preparing to deliver the twins. Even with her face covered, he could see Catherine’s eyes light up when she saw him over your head.

“It’s okay, baby girl. He’s here. He’s right here.”

Only being able to turn your head slightly from your position on the surgical table, you started to cry once again as a tall figure appeared and sat down beside you. Looking into those ocean eyes you had been searching for all day, your lip began to tremble once more out of panic. Immediately, his hands were against your cheeks, wiping the tears away. With the oxygen mask on, your words were unrecognizable.

“I know, baby. I know. I’m here. I made it. It’s going to be alright. The babies will be fine. Just keep taking deep breaths for me, darling.”

With the IV in your arm, you were unable to move your hand very much. Luckily, Tom felt your fingers brush against the sleeve of his scrubs. Looking down, he took the hand in both of his. Pressing a kiss to it through his surgical mask, he kept talking to you to keep you calm.

“You’re doing so well, baby. Any minute now, we will have two beautiful little ones to hold. Just hang in there.”

Hearing the noise increase on the other side of the curtain, Tom was now the one holding his breath. There was no way to make out who exactly was speaking.

“Time?”

“5:17”

“Alright, Baby A is out. We’ve got ourselves a girl.”

His eyes widened and looked back down at you. A strong cry echoed through the room as your daughter took her first breath. The adrenaline of the day faded as the cries broke free from the both of you. Tom leaned in and rested his forehead against your shoulder as the tears soaked the hospital gown you were wearing. Leaning your head against his, you wished you could hold him and kiss him right now. You smiled behind the oxygen mask as you mother leaned over and hugged you both over your chest.

“Time?”

“5:19”

The room became eerily quiet. From his position beside you, he could see around the side of the curtain as the nurses carried his son over to the bassinet beside his daughter who was still testing out her lungs. As if you could read the expression on his face, you squeezed his hand. His eyes darted down to you and then over to Catherine. The sight he had just witnessed shattered his world. Unlike his sister, the baby boy wasn’t moving as they carried him over and he certainly wasn’t crying. No longer able to stand it anymore, you ripped the oxygen mask down to your chin to be able to speak.

“Tom? Why isn’t he crying too? Tell me he’s okay. Tom, say something. Please.”

The look in Catherine’s eyes was enough to snap him out of his own panic and focus on you.

“They are taking care of him, love. Just give him a minute. He’ll be okay. I promise. He just need a little help. Like Dr. Green said, it was tough on him.”

It was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity before the most beautiful noise filled the room.

His first cry.

“There you go, sweetie. That’s it. Let us hear you.”

The nurses and doctors all seemed to let out the breath they were holding as they cheered the baby boy on. At this point, Tom was completely collapsed across your chest with his hands wrapped tightly around one of yours and one of your mother’s. A nurse came over and laid her hand on his shoulder.

“Tom?”

You watched as he sat up with a start. She smiled down at you and gestured over her shoulder for him to follow her. Glancing back at you with the question in his eyes, you smiled and nodded.

“I’m fine. Mom’s here. Just go see them. They need you, babe. Go.”

He was unable to control the way his body trembled as he took the few steps over to the two bassinets. The nurses were still cleaning them up and checking their vitals. Your son was now just as pink and upset as the baby girl beside him. Their cries continued to echo off the walls of the operating room. Each sound unique to them.

“Hi, Little Loves.”

As if they recognized the sound, they both quieted down and tried to open their eyes to search for him. His chuckle was now louder than the small whimpers that left their trembling little mouths.

“Do you know who I am? I’m your daddy. You two are already so incredibly loved and you don’t even know it yet.”

Reaching down, he ran his fingers softly over both of their heads and smiled at the blonde hair that looked to already have his curls. Tracing his fingertips over their soft chubby cheeks, he then rested his finger against his daughter’s outstretched hand. When the precious little fingers wrapped it, he felt all the emotions your father had described in the letter on your wedding day just 9 months ago. He was blown away by the sense of protectiveness he felt in this moment. Nothing… absolutely nothing was going to come in between him and the three precious gifts he called his family. Until his dying breath, he would do everything in his power to protect them both and their mother. Once the nurse had his daughter bundled up in her pink blanket, she handed her off to him.

“Congratulations, Dad.”

The love he felt for her squeezed his heart so tightly he thought it might stop. He was a father now. Of course, he had known they were coming, but until this moment, it seemed different. His world completed shifted the second he heard them both cry. When she had the baby boy bundled up as well, she followed him over to you.

The rest of your anxiety vanished the second you saw him appear with a small pink bundle in his arms. You glanced up to his eyes to see them overflowing with emotion and tears. Propping her up so you could see her, Tom showed you the beautiful face of your baby girl for the first time. A blue bundle appeared from above your head as the nurse laid your son on your chest with the help of both your mom and Tom to secure him. Seeing that he was okay brought all of the tears back for you. He started to cry once more.

“It’s alright, sweetheart. Mama’s here.”

The sound of giggles behind him brought him out of the memories and back into the present. Setting the bottle of water down beside him, he smiled as two sets of small feet loudly snuck up to him. Letting them have their fun, he patiently waited for what he knew was coming. He was ready for it, just like every other time the now six year-old’s played their game with him. With two loud cries, they dove onto his back. Faking a scared yell, he reached behind him and grabbed them both.

“Did we get you, Daddy?”

“Did we scare you?”

Setting them back down onto their feet, he turned to look into the eyes of his children.

“You did, Little Loves. Does your Mama know you are all the way out here with me?”

They each grabbed onto one of his long legs as he made the walk to return the tools to the box a few feet away, obviously no longer going to be able to work now. His little girl was the first to speak up.

“Yes, sir. She said we were driving her crazy and that it was your turn, Daddy.”

His laugh caused them both to laugh with him.

“Of course she did, Gracie. What do you say we take your ponies out to the pasture for a walk before dinner?”

The twins both cheered and raced to where they knew their saddles were kept, each talking a mile a minute as they watched him retrieve the saddles and get their horses ready for them. Tom couldn’t help but smile at their excitement. In moments like this, they were just like you.

A few minutes later, Tom was walking in between the two of them with the reins in his hands. The pace apparently wasn’t face enough for his daughter. Her sigh was exactly like her mother’s.

“Daddy, can we please go faster today? I promise I’ll be careful.”

“What is the rule, Georgia Grace?”

“We only go fast with Mama, and Mama only.”

“That’s right, love.”

She obviously wasn’t happy with the answer but knew not to push him if she wanted to keep riding. His eyes wondered over to his son who was more quiet than usual. The moments the twins were deep in thought, they were like him. Faces so full of expression that you could practically see the thoughts as they ebbed and flowed in their little eyes.

“What’s on your mind, Ry?”

His blue eyes darted over to his dad and his face was serious.

“I’m named after Grandpa Jimmy, right Daddy?”

He nodded and gave him a smile.

“That’s right, bud. Grandpa Jimmy’s name was James. He was a very special man, so Mama and I decided to name you Ryan James.”

The boy nodded and looked at him with a look of confusion.

“Then why is Gracie named after Mama, but Mama’s name is Y/N?”

Tom couldn’t help but chuckle as the little girl now looked just as confused. Both faces stared at him as if he had all the answers in the world.

“That is a very good question, son. Do you know what a nick name is?”

Ryan smiled and seemed proud to know the answer.

“It’s like when Mama calls you all those funny names like Mischief and Agent and Babe.”

“She’s calls him Hollywood sometimes too, Ryan.”

He smiled and stared at the two of them. They were too smart for their own good, and apparently picked up on more things than he realized.

“Yes, Gracie, she calls me Hollywood, too. Well, when Mama and I met a really long time ago, I called her my Georgia Girl. That is why Daddy sometimes calls her George or Georgia, even though that’s not her real name. It’s a nickname for her. When the two of you were in her belly, Gracie was already pretty stubborn and was a lot for Mama to handle at times. You loved to push your feet into her ribs any chance you had and refused to listen to anything she tried to get you to do. Nana and I both told her that you would be just like her. When you were born and looked so much like her, we decided to give you the name Georgia because of it, even though we call you Grace or Gracie instead.”

The little girl rolled her eyes just like you and sighed.

“I’m only Georgia Grace when I’m in trouble, Daddy.”

“That you are, little one.”

The little boy to his left gave the two of them a smirk that was all Tom.

“Daddy is Thomas William when he’s in trouble. That’s how Mama and Nana scare him. It makes him run when he hears it.”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes as the twins both laughed at him. A loud whistle was heard over their laughter. Both children immediately stopped as all three of their heads whipped over to look towards the house. The image of you standing on the front porch of your mother’s home brought a peace over him. Even after all of these years together, the sight of you still made him smile.

“Time to head back, little loves. It looks like it’s time to go wash up for dinner.”

Just as he got the ponies back to the stables, he saw you had made your way over and was giving the horses some attention. After getting the kids back down on their feet, he watched as the two of them ran straight to you.

“Did you munchkins have fun with Daddy?”

“Yes, he told us that you’re his Georgia Girl!”

Upon hearing the name, you looked up and met his eyes. He still made the butterflies come back when he looked at you like that.

“That’s right. I am.”

“And you named me Georgia because I’m stubborn and a lot to handle like you, Mama!”

His eyes widened.

“Oh really? That’s what your Daddy said, Gracie?”

You tilted your head to the side as you crossed your arms over your chest and looked back at him for an explanation. Ryan’s small voice was talking to his sister, but it was still loud enough for you both to hear.

“I think she’s going to call him Thomas William now…”

Tom pinched the bridge of his nose as your laughter filled the stables.

“Don’t you two have some hands to wash?”

Their giggles escaped as they began to run towards their Nana’s house. You turned around as they made it out the end of the stables.

“WITH SOAP!”

“Yes ma’am!”

You watched as Tom rolled his eyes and removed the saddles from their ponies before filling the feed buckets and getting the horses settled behind the gate once more.

“Stubborn and a lot to handle huh?”

“That wasn’t quite the discussion I had with them, darling. Ryan wanted to know how Gracie was named after you if your name was different from hers. I had actually called Gracie stubborn and a lot to handle while you were pregnant with them.”

You came up and wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Don’t remind me. That child picked the worst times to flip around in there and only got worse when I tried to get her to stop. I’m dreading what teenage Gracie looks like for us.”

Tom groaned and shook his head. Taking advantage of having a moment alone with you, he wrapped his arms around you and swayed you back and forth with him as he pulled you in for a kiss. After a few minutes, the sound of another whistle came from the front porch of the house. Now it was your mother calling you in for dinner. Giving you a few short kisses as he pulled away, he tucked the hair behind your ear and stared at you.

“Hi, Love.”

The two of you had been so busy today that it was the first moment together since he had left before dawn for a run and morning feedings. You watched as he bent down and pressed a kiss to your bump as well.

“and little love.”

A sigh escaped as you took his hand and started to make the trip back up to the house while running your hand over the somewhat sizable bump.

“I can’t believe you talked me into another one.”

He wrapped his arm around you and pulled you into his side.

“You didn’t exactly need much convincing, George. I saw the way you looked at Chris and Natalie’s baby at Sebastian’s wedding. I’m surprised you gave her back to them at the end of the night! At least we only have one this time. I can’t do two infants at the same time again. I’m still catching up on all the sleep I missed that first year.”

“Try breastfeeding two infants with your appetite, Thomas. Maybe with one, I will get break in between feedings this time.”

“One can only hope, my love.”

It was already dark as the four of you left your mother’s and made you way up the hill back to your own home. Currently seven months along, you got winded climbing the stairs to bed. The last thing you were doing was participating in Tom’s game with the twins. Once you were situated behind the wheel of the SUV, he leaned in the window and gave you a kiss.

“Guide us home, Mama?”

“Of course. Line ‘em up, Daddy.”

With a grin, he looked to the two eager faces beside him.

“You heard her kiddos! Let’s go!”

Once they were lined up beside each other at the start of the driveway up the hill, you pulled in far behind them and turned on the high beams so they could see the road far ahead of them. Leaning your head outside the window, you yelled for them to hear you from their places about twenty yards ahead of you.

“On your mark… get set… GO!”

Gracie and Ryan bolt from their position with screams and giggles as they raced down the road towards the house. You laughed as Tom loudly counted to five and took off after them. Even though he wasn’t in his full sprint, he was quickly gaining ground on them. You laughed as their screams only grew louder as they continued to glance over their shoulders to see where he was. Just when they thought they might outrun him, he turned around and continued to jog backwards while smiling back at you. With a wink in your direction, he turned around and finally ran at his full sprint towards them.

“YOU TWO HAVE TO RUN FASTER THAN THAT!”

They screamed as they heard him picking up speed and began to run as fast as their little legs would carry them. When they were about ten feet from the front porch and thought they were nearly safe, he swooped in and picked them both up under his arms.

“GOTCHA!”

With a kid under each arm, they kicked and screamed with laughter as his fingers dug into their bellies. When they were out of breath from the tickles, he set them down on the top step of the porch.

“Alright, upstairs, both of you. Bath and bed.”

You sat down on the porch swing as he ushered them inside.

“No whining or your doing chores with Nana tomorrow.”

The warm night was quiet and soothing. The chains of the swing rhythmically creaked as you pushed yourself back at forth. Leaning your head back and closing your eyes, you felt a breeze come through as the familiar sounds enveloped you.

“Hi, Daddy…”

You just seemed to feel him in moments like this as if he was sitting beside you. It was your favorite place to unwind on nights like this.

After getting both kids bathed and dressed in their pajamas, he picked up the book off the nightstand and opened it to the page he had left off last night. Just like every night since the day they were born, Tom put them to bed. In the beginning it was the rocker and singing lullabies, which eventually switched to reading to them when they were old enough to look at the bright colorful pictures. The last few months had transitioned to him stretching out on the floor in between their beds and reading a chapter a night until they finished the novel and began another one. He had already read them The Jungle Book, Charlotte’s Web, and was now in the middle of a book of short stories that caught their eye at the library. He honestly couldn’t wait to read them more advanced stories and introduce them to all of his favorites.

Closing the book as their eyes started to grow heavy, he placed it back on the nightstand and stood to tuck them into bed. This time, Gracie was the serious one.

“Daddy?”

“Yes, love?”

“Why aren’t we going back to London at the end of the summer like we always do?”

He sat down on the bed and tucked her soft blonde curls behind her ear.

“Well, darling, you and Ryan will be starting school soon so we won’t be able to go back and forth as much as we used to before. Plus, Mama will have the baby soon and Nana will be here to help, just like Grandma Di helped when we were in London and Daddy was working. Most of all, it’s what makes Mama happy, so it’s what makes Daddy happy too.”

The floor creaked in the hall letting him know that you had arrived to kiss them goodnight.

“Why does it make you happy that Mama is happy?”

Tom smiled up at you as you leaned against the doorway to your children’s bedroom. His eyes scanned over the things that were the most precious things in his life. His little fighter, Ryan James Hiddleston, was already curled up asleep in his bed behind him. Since the moment he was born, he had fought for his first breath and never stopped fighting since. He was so much like Tom. He had always been so inquisitive, even as a baby. Just like his daddy, he had trouble expressing his feelings sometimes and needed you to step in and help him work through them. His precious, Georgia Grace Hiddleston, was fighting to hold her eyes open a bit longer as she waited for her answer. The little girl put up a tough front, but her heart was so pure and kind with so much love to give. Just like her mother, she needed to be grounded sometimes and would draw close to her daddy as her anchor when her spirit became too much for her small body to contain. He could already see her sense of adventure and that fearless look in her eye when she craved something to challenge her. Tom’s eyes now settled on you. His best friend. His lover. His partner. His wife. The mother of his children. Even now as you were growing another miracle to bring into his life, you had never been more beautiful. For so many years, he had dreamed of moments like this. Bedtimes stories with his children. Little moments every day as a family that he would always cherish.

Glancing down to see that Gracie still expected an answer to her question, he kissed her cheek and tucked her in tightly.

“It’s because I love her. When you love someone like the way I love your Mama, you will do anything in your power to keep them safe and make them happy.”

His focus shifted to you as he watched his daughter’s eyes slowly close as the exhaustion of her day spent playing and running around the ranch caught up to her. He kept his voice to a whisper so he wouldn’t wake her as she began to drift off to sleep.

“When something good walks into your life, reach for it sweet girl, and never let it go.”