#I’m scared for my life rn

[pics-and-fanfics]

I’m not safe

Here’s a full recount of the events that happened earlier after I got home that led me to cry for somewhere around 15-30 minutes

1. My mother comes into the living room, where I’m watching a YouTube video on my phone, headphones in

2. She tries to play with me (she was bullying me)

3. She yanks my earbud out of my ear then runs off (I should remind u she’s like 51-ish)

4. I go to look for her

5. I find her in the kitchen a minute or two later

6. I tell her to give me my earbud back

7. She takes it OUT OF HER FUCKING EAR! AND HANDS IT TO ME!

8. I find my drink under the living room table

9. I can’t find my phone (seconds after the drink)

10. I go back to her, telling her to give me my phone back

11. She runs off

12. I chase her, and grab the back of her shirt to keep a hold of her

13. I let go for two (2) seconds

14. She tries to run off again

15. I chase after and grab her shirt again

16. I get my phone back

17. I look for my headphone case

18. I go to the kitchen to tell her to give it back

19. She tries to gaslight me

20. I tell her, multiple times, to give it back

21. She goes to the bathroom

22. I go to the living room

23. She comes in, headphone case in her hand

24. I tell her to give it to me

25. She says no

26. I walk up to her, getting in her face (as close as I can bc I’m shorter than her)

27. She puts her other hand up, and I push it down

28. She slaps my hand

29. This repeats x2 more times

30. I have to give her a hug to get my headphone case back

31. I do it, and i get my headphone case

32. She thinks it’s funny to squish me and I try to twist away bc she’s choking me

33. I sit down after she leaves the living room, calling my best friend

34. I start talking to her

35. My mom says “awww, are you tattling on me to my mommy?” (Mocking me, bc that’s who I used to call before I learned she couldn’t keep her mouth shut)

36. I tell her I’m taking to my bestie (I’ll call her Madison for this)

37. (Remember I’ve got my earbuds in, on a call w/ Madison)

38. My mom starts going ballistic, accusing me of hiding her phones (1 personal, 1 work)

39. I tell her I didn't

40. We go back and forth before I mute myself on the call bc I’m starting to cry bc that’s what happens when I’m angry, and I hate it

41. She starts going through my backpack, and I tell Madison I’ll call her right back before hanging up

42. My moms screaming at me, saying that I hid her phones bc she took my stuff

43. (Spoiler! I didnt!)

44. Guess where they were?

45. Guess

46.

47. WOW!

48. They were right behind her, not even 10 feet from where she remembered putting them!

49. I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHERE THEY WERE

50. SO IM LIKE

51. “WOW! THERE THEY ARE!”

52. (She found them before I saw them btw)

53. She’s mad at me, I’m angry and crying

54. I tell her that she’s bullying me, her LITERAL CHILD!

55. Her response?

56. Somewhat along the lines of

57. “If you think I’m bullying you, you’ve got a fucked up sense of reality”

58. And she’s cursing me out (all while I’m still crying)

59. I tell her she’s being a jerk

60. She flips me off and leaves the kitchen, where we had gravitated, which is where her phones and my backpack were

61. She goes outside, I get my food out the oven

62. I call Madison back

63. And I’m talking to her, still upset, crying, and interrupted every few seconds as I sniffle and take a breath and try to catch my breath and cry

64. I’m barely forming coherent sentences bc of all this

65. I talk to my bestie, Madison, while I try to eat

66. I find out my food wasn’t even cooked all the way thru

67. So I’m sat there, from 4:46 to 5:12 (24 minutes) talking to her

68. I eventually move to my room after throwing the food away bc I’d lost my appetite

69. I continue the rest of the call (I don’t know how long I was in there)

70. (Dining room portions of the call + my bedroom part of the call = 24 ish minutes)

71. While I’m still on the phone w/ Madison, I look up my therapist’s office

72. I hang up soon after, and start typing this on notes so I have an easily accessible copy for Tuesday, when I go to my therapy appointment (that’s where I am rn)

73. I’m going to copy and paste this then publish

74. I’m then going to try to get in contact with my therapist (going into the future now)

75. Please wish me luck, I don’t feel safe here

76. These events are getting more often, leading me to calling Madison in tears more often)

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

new glasses will have you feeling like you can actually see for the first time

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i need mutual obsession

[fifthnailinstevesbat]

watching the last episode of season 5 in 2026 and steve gets fatally injured and then the first notes of when it’s cold id like to die start playing and we all know in that moment it’s over

[goldkirk]

.

[officiallyossy-haywooddent]

Mun Post.

Gen question ya’ll, should I traumatize myself to appease my inner child and therefore untraumatize myself or should I just stay where I am and not fix anything because at least I’m at a point where I’m not having daily mental breakdowns anymore?

Like actually.

Should I compromise my academics and something I’m really excited about (g11 pilots program) to go back to a place with less exciting academics but at least I’m not super depressed and isolated there?

[stardust-sunset]

(vent in the tags and under the cut. don’t read if you don’t want.)

sometimes i wonder if people would care if i was gone. there’s just no point anymore tbh.

[olgunny]

BUH

[hueberryshortcake]

Yessss art requests could you do a moment from Prodigal with 26, Jazz Record??? I’ve only been unwell about it at work twice this week and need another hit.

"Ye aren't listening,” Scrooge said with the same annoyed, stubborn lilt had developed at age four and employed consistently ever since. “Della’s come home. She’s alive. She’s more than alive, she’s strong as a horse and still kickin’.” Scrooge laughed. It was a sound Fergus hadn’t heard in years and years.

- “Prodigal”, by daffodil_lament on AO3

THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST! This is my favorite piece I’ve written so I’m so glad other people enjoy it as well. Or are, you know, tormented by it as well. This is great timing because I may or may not have done some practice with another prodigal piece yesterday….

[cuteniarose]

nia, r u doing ok??

No.

[deityofhearts]

where do people even live like, what’s out there

[sweet-as-kiwis]

I PASSED ACCOUNTING LETS GO!!!!!

[milesworld96]

YALL…..WE GOT NEWS☹️

[dwemers]

I’m so excited I’m like literally shaking

[totaleclipse573]

Thinking rn about how Terios was raised and grew up on the Black Comet I’ll talk in the tags

[mutalune]

on one hand I am very glad that ketamine therapy has been helpful for my severe depression and anxiety and ptsd and whatever else is going on up there, and I’m grateful that it’s available to me as part of my treatment plan

on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of the payment for that help being a 50/50 chance every time of having a bad trip that unlocks some deep scary part of my psyche and then having to address all of that in therapy until the next trip