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kryptid-writes · 11 months

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Chapter 14 - A Battle of Fates

When Sam, Dean, and Cas track down Y/N and Lucifer, there is an all-out battle that results in Y/N having to make the ultimate decision. Will she accept her fate and choose Lucifer? Or will she create her own destiny and choose Dean?

(4.4k)

The days with Lucifer fly by. Counting the cycles from day to night, I believe I've been here for about 3 weeks, but it feels like I've spent my whole life with him. Each day holds another exciting adventure that’s designed to keep me happy and busy. He’s created amusement parks, animal sanctuaries, extravagant balls, and fancy dinners, even taking me to my favorite plays and movies, all created out of thin air with the snap of his fingers.

It’s been incredible. Truly something out of a fairytale. But everywhere we go, it’s just him and me, Lucifer and I, the rest of the world be damned. I’m not dumb, I know he’s doing this to keep me isolated and safe from anyone that may want to steal me away.

“I have a lot of enemies.” He grabs my shoulders and looks at me in full seriousness. “Many powerful people that will use you to get to me. But I promise you this, I will never let anyone hurt you. Not now. Not ever,” he explains, confirming my suspicions.

I have no doubt that’s true. What better way to hurt the Devil than threatening the one thing in this world he loves, his Achilles heel, and God help anyone that dares come between us. But, I suspect he has ulterior motives as well, primarily keeping me from the Winchesters and their pocket angel. I can tell that he’s on edge, always glancing at the door, obsessively checking that each sigil is still intact, just waiting for them to burst in guns blazing.

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The house is secure, located in the middle of nowhere, and sigiled to high Hell. He’s careful. No one knows where we are, not even me. The odds of them ever finding this place are slim to nothing, that is if they’re even looking for me at all. The thought crushes me, feeling as if a little part of me has curled up and died.

I wonder where they are, what they’re doing, which monster they are hunting down this week, but most of all, if they miss me. I know it’s selfish of me to think that way. I put them through Hell, especially Cas, and they’re better off far, far, away from me.

Nevertheless, I've been practicing the demon exorcism Sam had taught me. I’ve got it down to a T, memorized every word and perfected each pronunciation. I'm ready for any demons that may cross my path. I can just picture the cheery smile on Sam’s face and the way he would squeeze my shoulder to show how proud of me he is.

I’ve even picked up my lessons in Enochian. I doubt Castiel would approve of my methods, but Lucifer has continued where he left off. He was surprised when I asked him, but happy to teach me the basic alphabet and meaning of the simple symbols. I’m still a novice, barely even able to decipher the simplest of writing, but I’m getting better by the day. I dream of seeing Castiel again one day and greeting him in Enochian. The surprised look on his face would be priceless and his kind smile would warm my heart.

Despite the wonderful time I’ve spent with Lucifer, how close we’ve grown, how much I truly adore him now, I miss my family… I miss Dean. The ghost of him lives in my mind. I keep expecting to wake up in the Bunker and see him in the kitchen drinking a beer and going to town on a tower of bacon. I miss his musky cologne and comfy flannels that are way too big for me but feel so right. I miss the way he would hold me at night and whisper that everything will be okay. My heart yearns for him, more than I thought possible. After the way things ended, the big fight that resulted in him storming out, the rage that burned in his eyes, I doubt that he would ever want to see me again.

“It’s for the best,” I keep reminding myself, trying to quell the feelings that seem to grow stronger with each moment that passes.

Lucifer knows. Despite how hard I try to hide my pain, he’s not oblivious, and the deep connection that we share sure doesn’t help.

“Y/N?” Lucifer asks, hugging me from behind, pulling me to his chest and resting his head on my shoulder like he often does.

“Yes, Luce?” I lean back into his chest.

“Somethings bothering you,” he states matter-of-factly, “talk to me.”

“It’s nothing,” I attempt to ease his suspicion, but it comes out less than convincing.

Uneasy silence hangs in the air as he thinks of what to say.

“Dean could never love you like this, you know.” He gently brushes my hair away from my neck and places a series of soft kisses from my jaw to my shoulder.

I freeze, turning rigid as a board. Hearing those words come from his mouth, it feels like the wind is knocked out of me. “I... I don’t know what you’re talking about Luce,” I laugh nervously, trying to brush off his suspicion.

“Yes, you do.”

A sinking feeling drops in my stomach, and I close my eyes, preparing myself for where this dangerous conversation may lead. As much as I adore Lucifer, he is anything but predictable.

“A little birdy told me what you and Dean have been up to.” He grits his teeth, trying to control his temper.

“A little birdy being you spying on me?” I bite back defensively.

“Besides the point.” He pulls me in even tighter, perhaps scared that I'll flee at any moment. “I know that you have feelings for that insolent human… I know that you miss him,” he says bitterly, face scrunching up in disdain. “Do you really think he misses you?” He snaps, knowing that it will cut deep.

“Luce…” I whisper, my voice trembling. It’s a thought that’s crossed my mind a million times before, a thought I can’t seem to shake.

“Y/N,” he spins me around to face him, tilting my head up to meet his gaze. His eyes comb over my face like he’s admiring a work of art.

“I’m going to show what it truly means to feel love.” He takes a deep breath. “I promise you that in due time, these feelings you have for that… Winchester,” he says in disgust, “will be a thing of the past. The only person you will crave is me.” He pulls me into a deep and passionate kiss. It’s not angry and possessive like I expected, but rather tender and loving.

I pull away, my lips puffy and cheeks flushed.

“He will never touch you again, do you understand?” He growls, his eyes flash a bright crimson red for a moment, before returning to their usual state. He wraps his magnificent wings around me in a protective manner, the silky feather brushing against my bare arms.

“Yes Luce.” I nod and rest my head against his chest. The sound of his steady heartbeat brings me a sense of peace and safety. Part of me wants to believe him. Part of me wants to forget the feelings I have for Dean Winchester and spend the rest of eternity with the angel fate has decided I’m meant to be with. But the other part of me wants to say, “Fuck fate,” and run into his arms, reuniting with the man I hold so dear. A storm of conflict brews ever stronger inside of me.

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“I want you to focus, I mean really focus,” Lucifer says, encouraging me.

I hold my hand out in front me, just a few feet away from the fireplace. I can feel the heat licking my palm. I screw my eyes shut and pour all my mental force into the flame that flickers weakly from the charred-up logs. My brows furrow and a bead of sweat runs down my face. I give it my all, but still, nothing comes.

“Ugh! This is useless!” I groan, dropping my hand down by my side in defeat. “Maybe I just don’t have grace abilities like you.” My mood fades from frustration into sadness, wings wilting pathetically.

“You think Rome was built in one day?” He replies sarcastically. “I’ve had millennia to perfect my grace, you just need some more practice.”

I shoot him a dirty look, but eventually nod my head in understanding.

“Now,” he clears his throat and steps closer until his chest is pressed against my back, the tingly feeling returning. “Spread your feet apart.” He kicks my shoes with his boot until they’re about a foot apart in distance, giving me better balance. “Hold your hand out. Stiffen your arm.” He lifts my arm into place, intertwining his fingers in mine and holding my palm forward.

The feeling is comforting, his large hands seem to fit perfectly with mine, the familiar electric feeling pulsing between us.

“Close your eyes,” he calmly instructs.

My eyes flutter closed, this time letting them relax instead of scrunching them up in frustration.

“Take a deep breath and imagine the fire growing clearly in your mind.” He rests his head on my shoulder, grounding me just enough to provide reassurance.

I take a deep breath in through my nose, and out through my mouth, instantly feeling a sense of calm wash over me. I picture the fire burning hot and growing several feet tall, the image in my mind so realistic that it feels like It’s really happening.

There’s a warm tingling sensation that builds in my stomach, growing ever so slightly. My hand shakes as a cold feeling wraps around my core. It’s Lucifer’s grace, a sensation I've grown quite accustomed to. My warm grace tangles with his, dancing in harmony. My grace is much smaller, more submissive to his. His grace is heavier and far more overpowering, like a cold ocean wave that makes my ears ring and blood hum.

“You feel that?” He whispers in my ear, the feeling of our graces merging together pleasantly surges through my body.

“...Yes.” I nod, holding back the groan that threatens to spill from my lips.

“Use it.” He kisses my neck, leaving a playful nip. “I know you can do it.”

His encouragement lights a fire in my stomach, and with renewed determination, I put my full focus into the task at hand.

The fire roars to life, burning to the top of the fireplace. The flames dance up to the chimney, the smell of crackling wood and thick smoke fills the room. A feeling of power surges through my veins, the rush has me instantly hooked, surely an addiction in the making.

“I did it…” I mutter to myself in shock. “LUCE, I DID IT!” I turn around to face him and my wings flutter in excitement, a happy grin on my face.

“I knew you could, my beloved!” He picks me up with ease and spins me around like I weigh nothing to him. His wings twirl around us, magnificent feathers flowing in the breeze. “I never doubted you for a second.” He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and stares at me lovingly. “I’m so proud of you.” He places a soft kiss on my lips.

“Mm…” I hum in content, happy that Lucifer, of all people, is proud of me. I melt into the kiss, the rest of the world fading into oblivion. I could stay here forever.

The soft clicks of a lock being picked is covered by the fire that still roars strong behind us and the blood rushing in my ears.

The door bursts open with a loud bang, the splintered wood hanging off the hinges. Light from outside pours into the dimly lit room, illuminating the three figures, their shadows stretching across the floor.

Surprised, I whip my head around to see Dean standing his ground across the room, Sam and Castiel looming behind him, all of them armed with angel blades.

“LET HER GO YOU WINGED BASTARD!” the familiar sound of Dean’s voice booms. Dean looks pissed, more than I ever could have imagined. This must be what monsters see in their final moments, truthfully, it scares me. His knuckles are white from gripping the blade so hard, ready to spring into action.

“Well, look who’s come to party,” Lucifer teases, holding me closer, surely leaving red marks where his fingers dig into the skin of my arms.

“Dean!” I call out. I never thought I'd see him again and my heart flutters at the sight. They came for me. They actually came for me…

Without giving it a second thought, I break free of Lucifer's grasp and make a beeline towards the Winchesters and their beloved angel, awaiting the feeling of being in their arms once again.

Before I even make it halfway across the room, Lucifer appears in front of me. I bump into his chest, stumbling back onto the floor.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” He shakes his head, giving me a disapproving look and picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder like I'm just a child.

“PUT!... ME!... DOWN!” I demand, pounding my fists against his back. When this has absolutely no effect on him, I run my hands into his feathers and twist, remembering the reactions it elicited from him before. He growls, but refuses to let me down, his grips only growing tighter on me.

“Put the girl down, brother,” Castiel warns, a dangerous edge to his voice.

“Castiel, pleasure to see you again, come back for seconds?” He taunts him with a grin.

Dean takes a step forward, practically fuming.

“Stay!” Lucifer commands me, placing me on the ground behind him. He splays his wings out protectively in front of me, as if I'm the one at risk.

The tension in the room is so thick that you could cut it with a butter knife.

The sound of every window breaking around us, practically makes me jump out of my skin. Shards of glass fly in all directions, one piece just barely missing my face by half an inch. The sky that had been clear just moments ago, is now raining like we’re in the eye of a category five hurricane. Booming claps of thunder fill the room, followed by strikes of lightning that illuminate Lucifer’s wings in the most intimidating way.

Snapping out of my shocked daze, I completely disregard his command and try to run forward but find that his grace is holding me in place, essentially super gluing my shoes to the floor.

For just a moment, the three boys give each other a knowing look before they all swing into action.

Dean lunges forward, swinging the blade with full force. He aims for Lucifer’s head, but he flawlessly dodges the attack, his eyes flashing red in anger. But this doesn’t deter him, Dean’s unrelenting, like he’s been waiting for this moment his entire life.

Sam keeps himself fixed to the closest wall across the room. He drags the blade across his hand, creating a deep gash in his palm. Blood drips to the floor in abundance, creating a crimson puddle. He dips his finger in the liquid and quickly begins to draw a symbol on the wall with haste. I’ve studied enough to recognize that it’s an Enochian symbol, but I can’t decipher what it means.

Castiel stands a few feet behind Dean, his brow furrowed in concentration. He extends his arm towards Lucifer and his eyes glow a light blue. He chants quietly under his breath, his voice low and steady.

Dean continues his attack on Lucifer. With one precise swing, he slices Lucifer across the face. A cut on his cheekbone forms, blood dribbling from his cheek to his chin. Dean flashes him a cocky smile.

I struggle against his hold with all my strength, desperately trying to pry my shoes from the hardwood floor, but it's ultimately useless. I have no choice but to stand by in horror, watching the scene unfold in front of me with no way to stop it. The only thing worse than being in love with two men, is watching them kill each other right in front of your eyes.

Lucifer reaches up to his cheek, tenderly touching the wound that instantly heals shut with a white shine. He lowers his hand, looking at the blood that coats his fingers in anger.

“You’re gonna regret that,” he growls, lunging at Dean.

“I don't think so brother,” Castiel states, his eyes glowing a bright blue. With the power of his grace, he stops Lucifer in his tracks, forcing him on his knees and keeping him stuck in place.

Dean tilts his head, giving him a look that says, “I win.”

“Hurry Dean, I can’t hold him much longer,” Castiel groans, his body straining to fight off Lucifer’s powerful resistance.

Without a second of hesitation, Dean plunges the blade into Lucifer, his body visibly shaking with adrenaline.

“NO!” I scream out, my wings frilled in panic. With the attack, Lucifer's grip on me breaks and I rush to his side in an instant. I kneel next to him on the ground, lifting his limp head in my hands, his eyes closed and blood dripping from the wound where the angel blade remains buried deep in his flesh. I can feel the hot tears pricking my eyes.

Silence hangs in the air. Dean, Sam, and Cas anxiously waiting to see if they’re plan had really worked. After a few moments pass, they give each other a look of relief and collect themselves.

Their relief is short lived, as he opens his eyes and breaks out of Cas’s hold, more pissed than ever.

“You missed.” He smiles and pulls the blade out from the right side of his chest, dropping it to the ground with a clank, blood splattering the wood. Within seconds the wound is healed shut with a white glow. He stands from his knees and spreads his wings, towering far above the rest of us. “You should really aim for the heart next time.” He grins wide like a Cheshire cat.

All three boys exchange a look that practically screams, “Oh shit.”

With a flick of his wrist, Lucifer throws the three of them against the wall, pinning them in place. They struggle with all their might, but their efforts are essentially useless against his powerful grace. In a fight, archangel always wins.

“Sit, stay awhile.” he teases.

“Lucifer, no,” I beg, just wanting this nightmare to be over.

He wraps his arm around my waist but pays me no mind. He twists his hand into a fist and at once, both of the brothers’ writhe in pain, their body contorting in unnatural angles.

Dean and Sam groan, their faces twisting up in agony. As if it couldn’t get worse, they start to spit up blood. And not just a little, but a disturbing amount of blood pouring through their lips, staining their skin and clothes a blooming red. The sound of groans and coughing makes me sick to my stomach.

“Lucifer, stop!” I yell in horror. I bunch my hands up in his shirt, desperately trying to snap him out of his fit of rage. I’ve never seen him like this before, but I start to question if those stories about him are actually as true as they say.

“No!” Castiel yells in his gravelly voice, staring at the beloved Winchester brothers squirming next to him.

“Wait your turn, brother.” Lucifer snaps his head in his direction and shifts his hand towards Castiel. A white glow slowly burns inside Cas. It starts low in his chest but builds until the white light shines through his throat and eyes with a deafening ring that continues to grow.

“You really think she loves you? I mean, you?” Lucifer mocks, staring Dean down intently.

Dean tries to speak, but his words are undecipherable through the spluttering blood and groans.

“STOP!!” I pound my fists against Lucifer’s chest so hard that it would surely leave painful bruises on any normal human. But he’s not human, no, he’s the farthest thing from it, an archangel in a savage rage.

He continues his assault, the boy’s looking as if they’re on the brink of death, perhaps they are.

“You promised…” my voice breaks.

This pulls him out of his trance. He stops his brutal attack and turns to me, looking guilty and the slightest bit pained.

“You’re right,” he admits, getting his temper under control. He takes my hand in his and brings them to rest on his cheek, evening out his breath.

The Winchesters gawk at him, as if they can’t believe what they’re seeing. They cough and choke, but the waterfall of blood stops and Castiel ceases the blinding glow.

“You’re scaring me, Luce.” I step closer, my eyes wet with tears.

“Forgive me, love.” he looks at me with loving eyes, the man I love coming back to me, even if it’s just for a moment. He pulls me into a kiss. It’s soft at first, caring and apologetic, but it soon turns deep and possessive. He wraps his wings around me and looks over to Dean, holding eye contact, needing to see his jealous reaction.

“Leave her alone,” he demands in a hoarse voice, his face burning with anger.

I break the kiss with a light shove and look at him, my cheeks burning in shame. I can practically hear his heart breaking into a thousand shards.

“Or what?” Lucifer snaps, “What did you think was going to happen, hm? You’d just storm in here, kill me, and she’d come running back to you like some lovesick puppy?”

Dean musters up the strength to shoot him a look that could kill, but I could see Lucifer’s words were gutting him inside.

“Newsflash kid, Y/N’s my soulmate. We’re meant to be together, it’s our destiny,” he says, pulling me so close that my wings are pressed flat against his chest, wrapping an arm around me to secure my body in place.

Dean’s face becomes somber as he processes the information. I can see the internal debate going on inside of his head, one that I’ve had many times before.

“Is that true, Y/N?” Sam asks hesitantly.

Cas gives Sam a knowing look.

“Yeah, tell them Y/N.” Lucifer takes my chin between his fingers and forces me to look them in the eyes, unable to escape their awaiting glares, “Is it true?” He mocks.

“...Yes,” I admit, barely a whisper.

Dean’s eyes go wide, tears threatening to spill at any moment. His green irises flick back and forth, desperately scanning my face for any sign that I might be lying, that this is all some part of a masterplan to deceive Lucifer, but finds none.

“I’m sorry,” my voice cracks and I close my eyes in shame, tears streaming down my cheeks. I can feel Lucifer smirking behind me, clearly amused with this turn of events.

The room is quiet for a moment before something in Dean changes. His eyes harden and he lifts his head with a wave of confidence. “Yeah? Well, I say screw destiny. You can shove it up your feathery ass!” He spits in defiance.

“Give it up Dean.” Lucifer rolls his eyes dramatically, “She’s my mate, you can't have her!” He growls, his wings spreading to their full wingspan.

“Lucifer… that’s enough!” I warn, grabbing him by the shoulders, trying to get his attention, but he keeps his eyes glued on Dean.

“No, she’s not! She’s one of us now, she’s a Winchester!” He snaps back.

Hearing those words makes my heart flutter but it sends Lucifer over the edge. His eyes glow a red so bright that I’m sure the color will be burned in the back of my retina for days to come. He balls his hand into a fist and twists it sharply.

Dean screams as the unmistakable sound of his rib bones crunching and breaking under the angel's grace bounces off the walls, followed by a series of pained whimpers, drowned out by Sam and Cas’s protests.

“I SAID, ENOUGH!” my voice echoes around the room. With a sudden surge of grace, Lucifer is shoved halfway across the room. Dean, Sam, and Cas are released from his hold, falling to the floor. The storm stops and all is quiet for just a moment.

Dean clutches at his ribs and attempts to stand, but collapses onto the ground in immense pain. Sam and Cas rush to his side and help him to his feet, throwing his arms around each of their shoulders to help him stand. The three of them look at me in shock, Dean seemingly more amazed than the others.

Lucifer, on the other hand, is beaming, clearly impressed with my sudden surge in power. “Look at y-” Lucifer starts with a cocky smile.

“Shut up!” I interrupt him, shooting him a warning look.

“I’m tired of everyone treating me like I’m some prize to be won!” I yell, angrily looking between the two of them, disgusted with the little show they put on tonight. I try to catch my breath as I collect my thoughts.

“I’m my own person, and I decide my destiny! Not you,” I turn to look at Luce, images of our amazing dates together play like a movie in my mind, how he makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world, the only thing that matters to him, and the powerful connection pulling us together like magnets. I can just imagine spending eternity with him, exploring where my powers could take me, seeing how deep our connection goes, and what the next millennia together has in store for us.

“Not you,” I look at Dean. Memories of my nights with him flood back, the way he was always there when I needed him, the way he makes my heart flutter every time I look at him, the way I crave him in every sense of the word. It’s no use denying the feelings I have for Dean, and what I wouldn’t give to spend the rest of my days with him, watching him grow old and showing him what it really means to be loved.

“And definitely not fate.” I raise my head high and frill my wings out to their full extent, refusing to hold myself back any longer.

“It’s my choice, and I choose…”

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Tags: @roseblue373 @iprobablyshipit91

#dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean winchester #lucifer supernatural #lucifer x reader supernatural #lucifer #lucifer x reader #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural reader insert #reader inse #supernatural #slow burn #love triangle

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gh0stswh0re · 2 years

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Nononono pls here me out here me out I’m begging you 🧎🏻‍♀️

Speaking of virgin!Ghost:

Virgin!Ghost who wasn’t interesting of having sex. Ofc few woman had interested of having a one nights stand with him when he is at the bar or tried to flirt with him( mysterious are sexy) and his other old team members told him to give it a chance or he will never know how good it feels to finally feel something like this rather than using his hand.

But when he meets you, this man lets all his sexual needs out on you. His members were right, it feels good but for sure it’s much better with doing it with the right person, you! This man never thought to have sex in his life but now you are here, you give him pleasure he needed, not just sexual but also the intimacy from someone he is close to and knows that they love him and he can trust with his life

Now Speaking of experience! Ghost ( what a whore)

He probably did the deeds when he was in his early 20s. I can imagine that he did here and there quickies becaus he was really frustrated but something he never did was kissing someone while doing it nor giving them any praise. For him it wasn’t making love, it was for him more feeling a quick release and that’s it. Never even saw his face, why should they? But over the years he stopped, he had better things to do and especially he lost the interested if you can say so. it didn’t felt right for him at some point and it didnt gave him any pleasure anymore

But when you both had your first sex, he knew that you were the one he needed all along. The pleasure he only felt for a short time with his flings wasn’t any good like compared to the pleasure he feels with you. This pleasure is better, longer and give him comfort he never had and most importantly it is because of you! You make him feel sooo good and if he could, he would have it done with you so much sooner! Also he maybe had flings ( not that many) but he never ate sb out or fingered them. So he learned more how to please someone on and with you and tbh, he is so happy and glad that he can learn it with you and only you. he only wants to know how to pleasure you and nobody else🫶🏻

If any of his flings recognize him, watch him looking at them with zero interest and especially when they try to hit on him. At this point, he even regret that he had a quickie with them and without shame, he even tells them to fuck off

- virgin anon ??? Jaaijsbshs help

jsjsjsj i totally see where u are coming from, because something similiar happens in my nsfw alphabet (under I = intimacy).

personally i don't ghost considers himself asexual/demisexual (probably doesn't even know what that is) but he definitely doesn't need sex - it's just not his priority. i feel like if he was at a bar, he'd rather get another drink than to go around flirting, looking to get laid.

and if he does have sex, it's to get his frustration out - he isn't violent or pushy and he'll try to make the other person cum, but it feels more like a chore, he just doesn't enjoy it the way others seem to. and he thinks everyone is straight up bullshitting with the "it will happen with the right person" until it actually happens - with you.

as we all know, he's such a simp and would do anything to pleasure you. and he loves studying how your body reacts to his touches, and he'll always make sure to memorize every thing he did that earned him a higher, more careless moan from you. also, he could literally cum on spot just because he's eating you out (nsfw alphabet again, O = oral). he loves how he can open up and relax with you - no judgement from your side. he loves pressing his naked body against yours, nothing sexual just cuddling, the skin to skin contact is so fucking important to him.

it goes without saying that he doesn't even look at anybody else and is definitely the type of guy that says "nah, i have a gf" instead of "sorry, i'm taken" 😼😼

thinking abt everything i said, maybe he is demisexual and just never realized it lol

#simon riley #ghost #simon ghost riley #cod #cod mw2 #cod mw22 #cod ghost #ghost headcanons #simon riley headcanons #simon riley smut #ghost smut

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lonesome-witching · 1 year

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Romance Isn't Dead

We're back to doing new prompts. This one being skeptic Nancy and ghost hunter Robin. To whoever send this anonymous prompt, you have read my mind because I have like two ideas for way longer fics with similar ideas but I tried to write something new and I hope you like it.

For those of you that didn't know yet, prompts are back open! You can send me any and all ronance prompts here, which is just a link to my asks. I have already gotten a few to get to but I will be writing them as soon as possible.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Robin’s bright smile almost made up for Nancy’s discomfort. The dimples in her cheeks were distracting enough.

“It’s gonna be interesting.” Robin defended herself.

“There is a blood stain on the bed.” There was and Nancy was now pointing at it. The brown stain that stretched over most of the middle of the mattress. It made her stomach turn.

“Yes, I can see that.”

“Robin, this was supposed to be a vacation.” Nancy sighed.

“It still can be. I’ll just be working in the meantime.”

“Working on what?”

“I’m gonna write a book.”

Nancy’s eyes widened. Her interest peaked. “A book? What about?” She almost sat down on the bloodstained bed before stopping herself.

“Ghosts.” Robin beamed as the word escaped her.

“Ghosts?” The disdain in her voice must have been obvious because Robin started waving her hands to stop whatever she thought Nancy would say next.

“I know, I know you don’t believe in all that but I’m gonna prove it once and for all. This is the bed Chrissy Cunningham was murdered in. Remember? You wrote an article on that story.” Robin’s hands waved at that same blood stain Nancy had pointed out.

“That was three years ago. Her boyfriend cut her open or something.”

“Yes! And this is a shitty motel so they never threw any of the shit out. This is pretty much a crime scene.”

“You should not sound this happy about that. You just booked us a romantic getaway to the scene of a murder.” Nancy snapped back.

“Okay, I know this isn’t what you signed up for but come on, Nance, this will be so exciting. We’re gonna find some ghosts and write a book on it and we’ll be rich.” Robin reached out to grab Nancy’s hands and she couldn’t help but crumble.

“Ghosts aren’t even real.” She whispered as her girlfriend pulled her closer.

—

“What are you doing?” Nancy threw up a balled piece of paper at the back of Robin’s head.

“I’m making an ouija board.” Robin’s head was bent over her own piece of paper, her back hunched.

“We could have bought one of those on the way in. That way we’d be done sooner and we could have actually gone somewhere nice for dinner.”

“I didn’t want to spend your money on this.”

Nancy pushed herself off her chair, sitting down next to her girlfriend on the floor. Robin’s tongue was poking in between her lips as she wrote the alphabet on the paper. It was adorable.

“You really think you are going to prove ghosts exist with a stupid children’s game?” She bumped her shoulder into Robin softly.

“It’s worked before.”

“You’ve done this before?” Nancy imagined Robin sitting on the floor of her messy bedroom. The lights turned off but a small candle flickering next to her. A similar scribbled ouija board pushed against the floor by a small glass that she held against it with both of her pointer and middle fingers.

“No.” Robin admitted. “I’ve heard of people who have done it.”

Nancy couldn’t keep the laugh from bubbling out. She allowed herself to fall flat against the floor.

“Nance.” Robin whined softly. “You need to be on my side.”

“I am on your side, honey. I’ll always be on your side.” Nancy grabbed for Robin’s arm. “You know that, right?”

There was a pout on Robin’s face that conveyed more than it was meant to. The sly quirk of her lips a tell tale sign that Robin was teasing her. Still, Nancy felt that familiar tug at her heartstrings that she got whenever Robin was hurt.

“Do you need my help with anything?” She offered with a sigh, sitting back up.

“If you are offering, I really don’t want to do this alone.” The smile from before returned to Robin’s face.

Nancy groaned. “I was worried you were going to say that.”

“Come on. You like researching stuff. Just see it as another one of your projects.”

“My projects are usually based on facts.” Nancy complained.

“Nance, please.” The pout returned in all its glory.

She hesitated for a second. Unsure what her next move should be. “Will it make you happy?”

Robin nodded frantically. “So very happy.”

–

Nancy found herself sitting opposite her girlfriend. She looked upon the girl’s frown as she placed the glass in the middle of the piece of paper, placing her fingers on the top. She followed Robin’s actions, mimicking her.

“All you have to do is breathe and close your eyes.”

Nancy nodded and closed her eyes.

“Okay.” Robin’s deep breath was audible throughout the silent room. “Chrissy, are you here with us?”

Nothing happened.

“Chrissy, can you hear us?”

Nothing.

“We are here to understand what happened.”

Nothing.

Nancy opened her eyes, looking at her girlfriend. The frown of Robin’s face was etched into her skin. The doubts were creeping into her demeanor and Nancy could see it.

“Chrissy?”

She couldn’t help herself. Nancy pushed the glass towards the yes that Robin had carefully written. Robin’s eyes flew open the second the glass started moving.

“Oh my God, Nance. Are you seeing this?” She exclaimed excitedly.

“Yes, I am.” Nancy feigned shock.

“I told you it was real.” Robin was beaming. “Okay, we have to focus. Chrissy, who killed you?”

Nancy stared at her own hands on the glass, analyzing whether or not it was obvious she was pushing it towards the J. And then the A, S, O, N. Spelling out the name that she had been forced to write on repeat in the plethora of articles she had written about the event.

“Oh my God, Robin. I’m not even kidding, this is scary. Can we please stop?” Nancy tried to trigger her 11 year old self who had scored the lead in the school play. It was the last time she had ever acted.

“Yeah sure. Thank you for talking to us, Chrissy. Goodbye.” Robin said and Nancy pushed the glass toward the goodbye on the bottom of the page.

–

“It was you, wasn’t it?” Robin was turned toward Nancy in her seat. She watched the way Nancy’s fingers tapped the steering wheel.

“What are you talking about?”

“The other day. The ouija board. You were moving the glass, weren’t you?”

“Why would I do that?” Nancy frowned.

“You gave yourself away by saying you were scared. Nancy Wheeler doesn’t get scared and definitely not by a moving glass or even a ghost for that matter.”

Nancy dared to take a glance at the girl sitting next to her. “I’m sorry. I just couldn’t see you that defeated. I shouldn’t have.”

“I think it’s really sweet. And I’ve been thinking, we should take an actual vacation. Somewhere nice. I’ve never seen the ocean before, if you’re up for it.”

“Are you sure this isn’t another ruse to get me to go ghost hunting with you?”

“Nah, from now on I’ll just ask you to go ghost hunting with me. I have a feeling you won’t say no.”

#prompts #if anyone wants the Chrissy backstory I did think about this #ronance #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #my work #stranger things #fanfic #robin x nancy #nancy x robin #ronance fic

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absolutebl · 2 years

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BL Master Post - List

List of 415 BLs as of mid 2022

This is just a list by request pulled from the Spreadsheet of Doom which contains all 400+ BLs that I have watched, dnf'd, or am currently watching. Dated June 30, 2022.

It is in order by country (alphabetized) then year (oldest at the top) then rating out of 10. It includes shorts, movies, series, and compilations. In cases where there are multiple country production houses, it will fall under the dominant language (e.g. Peach of Time is under Korea). Feel free to gank. The spreadsheet of doom does contain most of my original sources for these, so if you want help tracking some of the more obscure ones down just ask in a comment.

I have added these lists by country to the bottom of my History of the Genre posts.

Japanese BL

Chinese BL

Taiwanese BL

Korean BL

Thai BL

China

2014 Like Love 1: I Love You As A Man: Part 1 - 5 2015 Falling in Love with a Rival: Counterattack - 3 2015 Mr. X and I: Us Against the World - 3 2015 Like Love 2: Nobody Knows But Me - 2 2016 Addicted Heroin - 8 2016 Irresistible Love: Secret of the Valet - 5 2016 Irresistible Love 2: Uncontrolled Love - 6 2016 Fanatic Love - 5 2016 Queer Beauty: Oppressive Love - 3 2016 Ghost Boyfriend 1 - 2 2016 The Male Queen: Han Zi Gao - 1 2016 Lost Love - 1 2016 A Round Trip to Love - 1 2017 Customized Companion - dnf 2017 Glass Heart - dnf 2017 Legend of Long Yang: Rebirth 6 2017 Mr. CEO is Falling in Love with Him - 5 2017 Till Death Tear Us Apart: In This Case A Pleasant Lifetime Alone: Love is in a Blaze - 5 2017 His Cat: His Cat Boyfriend - 5 2017 Advance Bravely - 5 2017 The Fairy Fox - 3 2017 Beloved Enemy - 3 2017 Ghost Boyfriend 2 - 2 2017 Love is Not Easy to Have: Rare Love - 2 2017 Swinging Blossom - 2 2017 Find You In The Crowd compilation - 1 2018 River Knows Fish Heart - 6 2018 Guardian - 6 2018 Past Youth - 2 2018 Ghost Boyfriend 3 - 2 2019 Mermaid's Jade - 4 2019 Broken Youth - 4 2020 The Untamed - 6 2020 Precise Shot - 4 2020 Capture Lover - 4 2020 Youth in the Breeze: People of the Skyy compilation - 3 2021 Word of Honor - 8 2021 My Esports Genius Brother - 7 2021 Every Moment that I Think of You - 5 2022 In Your Heart - 2

HONG KONG

2012 From Here to There - 2 2014 For Love, We Can - 2 2015 I Go To School Not By Bus - 2 2018 S.C.I. - 4 2021 Ossan's Love Love or Dead - 5 2021 I'm a Fool for You 1 & 2 - 4

JAPAN

2006 Boys Love compilation - 1 2007 Takumi-kun 1: And The Spring Breeze Whispers - 5 2007 Itsuka no Kimi e - 5 2007 Boys Love: The Movie Boys Love 2 AKA Schoolboy Crush - 2 2008 Ai no Kotodama - 5 2008 Gymnasium Baby Taiikukan Baby - 3 2008 Melody of Our Love: Bokura no Ai no Kanade - 3 2008 Forbidden Love - 2 2008 Asymmetry - 2 2009 Takumi-kun 2: Rainbow Colored Glass - 5 2010 Junjou Pure Heart - 6 2010 Ai no Kotodama 2: Sekai no Hate Made - 6 2010 Takumi-kun 3: The Beauty of Detail - 5 2010 Takumi-kun 4: Pure - 4 2011 Takumi-kun 1: DaiMao Version (fan made) - 6 2011 Takumi-kun 5: That, Sunny Blue Sky - 5 2012 Fujimi Orchestra - 3 2013 Love Place: Hakanaki Kata Omoi: Gaiya no Koi: Shape of Happiness 1 - 3 2013 Love Place: Shiawase no Katachi: Shape of Happiness 2 - 4 2014 Docchi Mo Docchi: Same Difference - 5 2014 No Touching At All: Doushitemo Furetakunai - 5 2014 Coming Out: Kamingu Auto - 3 2015 Seven Days: Monday-Thursday: Friday-Sunday - 10 2015 Candy and Kiss - 7 2015 Wait For Me at Udagawachou: Udagawachou de Matteteyo - 5 2015 Forever Summer - 2 2017 Silhouette of Your Voice: Hidamari ga Kikoeru - 7 2017 Double Mints - 2 2018 Ossan's Love original - 6 2018 Does the Flower Bloom? - 5 2018 Pornographer: The Novelist - 3 2019 What Did You Eat Yesterday?: Kinou Nani Tabeta? - 6 2019 Athlete - 4 2019 His: I Didn't Think I Would Fall In Love - 3 2019 Mood Indigo: Pornographer series - 3 2019 The Shortest Distance is Round (Blanc): Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute - 2 2019 The Shortest Distance is Round (Noir): Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute - 1 2020 Cherry Magic: 30 Years of Virginity Can Make You a Wizard AKA 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii - 9 2020 Restart After Come Back Home: Risutato wa tadaima no ato de - 8 2020 Life: Love on the Line Life: Senjou no Bokura - 8 2020 His the movie - 6 2020 Love Stage!! :Rabu Suteiji - 5 2020 Sei no Gekiyaku: Dangerous Drugs of Sex - 4 2020 The Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese: Kyuso wa Chizu no Yume wo Miru - 2 2020 The Shortest Distance 3: Fallen Flowers Saitankyori Wa Mawari Kudokute: Rakka Ryūsui Japan 1 2020 The Shortest Distance is Round 2 : Rain and Soda Saitankyori wa Mawari Kudokute: Ame to Soda Mizu Japan 1 2021 Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko: Absolute BL: A Man Who Defies The World of BL. - 10 2021 Utsukushii Kare: My Beautiful Man - 9 2021 Kieta Hatsukoi: Vanishing My First Love My Love Mix Up - 8 2021 Given: Givun - 8 2021 Pornographer Playback: Pornographer series - 5 2022 Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko 2 Absolute BL 2 A Man Who Defies The World of BL 2 - 10 2022 Fukou-kun wa Kiss Suru Shikanai! Mr Unlucky AKA Mr. Unlucky Can Only Kiss AKA Mr. Unlucky Has No Choice but to Kiss! - 8 2022 Old Fashion Cupcake: Old-Fashioned Cupcake - ? 2022 Minato Coin Laundry: Wash My Heart!: Minato's Laundromat: Minato Shouji Koin Randorii - ?

KOREA

2006 No Regrets - 1 2008 Boy Meets Boy - 4 2008 A Frozen Flower - 1 2009 Just Friends?: Chingu Sai? - 8 2010 Love, 100℃ - 1 2011 Nabang Spark - 4 2012 Suddenly Last Summer - 5 2012 Two Weddings and a Funeral - 5 2012 Going South - 2 2013 Something, Crunchy Crunchy - dnf 2014 So Refreshed! - 2 2014 Diary of Heong Yeong Dang: Drama Festival 2014: The Diary of Heong Yeong Dang - 1 2014 I'm Horny Now! - 1 2014 Night Flight - 1 2014 Some - 1 2015 The Lover BL Cut - 5 2015 Open - 4 2015 Weird Housemates - 4 2015 A Naked Boy - 1 2016 My Eleventh Brother - 4 2016 Jealousy is My Guest - 2 2017 Long Time No See (Strongberry) - 7 2017 Free Bird - 4 2017 Secret Spectacles (Strongberry) - 4 2017 Tilted Summer - 2 2017 Tropical Night - 2 2017 Method - 2 2017 Mind - 2 2017 The Boy Next Door - 1 2018 Some More (Strongberry) - 8 2018 Step For You (Strongberry) - 7 2018 Being Me - 6 2018 My Pistachio (Strongberry) - 6 2018 Summerdaze: Stay Away From Me - 5 2018 Table Manner (Strongberry) - 4 2018 In Between Seasons - 1 2019 As if You Whisper (Strongberry) - 6 2019 Sonnet 18 - 6 2019 My Personal Trainer (Strongberry) - 5 2019 One Last Order - 5 2020 Wish You: Your Melody in My Heart - 9 2020 Where Your Eyes Linger - 8 2020 Mr. Heart: mr heart - 7 2020 Private Lessons (Strongberry) - 7 2020 Secret Roommate (Strongberry) - 5 2021 On His Turf: On My Turf - dnf 2021 Color Rush - 10 2021 Light On Me - 10 2021 To My Star - 10 2021 A First Love Story (Strongberry) - 9 2021 Nobleman Ryu's Wedding - 9 2021 My Sweet Dear - 8 2021 The Tasty Florida - 8 2021 You Make Me Dance - 8 2021 Made in Rooftop - 7 2021 Peach of Time - 6 2021 Confidential Coffee Break (Strongberry) - 6 2021 Sweet Curse (Strongberry) - 6 2021 Hold Me - 6 2021 Fingers After (Strongberry) - 5 2021 My "S" Partner - 4 2022 Semantic Error - 10 2022 Blueming - 9 2022 Cherry Blossoms After Winter - 9 2022 Tinted With You - 8 2022 Oh! Boarding House - 8 2022 Behind Cut - 8 2022 Love Class - 8 2022 Ocean Likes Me - 8 2022 Color Rush 2 - 7 2022 First Love Again - 7 2022 Blue of Winter Judo Boys - 3 2022 Kissable Lips - 2 2022 Love in Spring: Spring of Crush - ? 2022 To My Star 2: Our Untold Stories - ?

THE PHILIPPINES

2014 Geography Lessons: Lisyun qng Geografia - 3 2016 4 Days - 5 2020 In Between: Sa Pagitan ng Kamusta at Paalam - dnf 2020 The Shore - dnf 2020 Amore - dnf 2020 Boyband Love - ? 4 2020 Happenstance - ? 2020 Gameboys the series - 9 2020 Like In The Movies: Gaya Sa Pelikula - 8 2020 My Day the series - 8 2020 The Boy Foretold by the Stars - 6 2020 Meet Me Outside - 5 2020 Win Jaime's Heart - 5 2021 Jack & Jill - dnf 2021 Love is the series - dnf 2021 Stuck on You - dnf 2022 Rainbow Prince - 6

SINGAPORE

2022 Getaway: Get Away dnf

TAIWAN

2006 Eternal Summer: Eternal Summers - 2 2012 Pair of Love - 3 2014 100 Apples - 4 2016 Friend or Lover - 6 2016 He's Out There Somewhere - 1 2017 HIStory: Obsessed - 8 2017 Red Balloon - 7 2017 HIStory: Stay Away From Me - 6 2017 HIStory: My Hero - 6 2017 Faded - 5 2017 We Are Gamily - 5 2017 Dark Blue and Moonlight - 3 2018 HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - 9 2018 HIStory 2: Right or Wrong - 8 2019 The Teacher - dnf 2019 HIStory 3: Make Our Days Count - 2 2019 HIStory 3: Trapped - 7 2019 Departure - 3 2019 Bro and Me Bro & Me - 3 2020 Because of You - 7 2020 Craving You - 5 2020 Our Memory - 3 2020 Your Name Engraved Herein - 2 2021 We Best Love No. 1 For You - 10 2021 We Best Love Fighting Mr. 2nd - 10 2021 Be Loved In House I Do - 9 2021 Love is Science? BL Cut - 9 2021 See You After Quarantine? - 8 2021 HIStory 4: Close to You - 8 2021 Papa & Daddy - 7 2021 My Type - 7 2021 Innocent - 5 2021 Light - 5 2021 Friend or Lover - 5 2021 The Immeasurable - 4 2021 The Immeasurable - 4 2022 Plus & Minus AKA Plus and Minus - 8 2022 DNA Says Love You - 8

THAILAND

2007 Love of Siam - 2 2013 Timeline - 3 2013 Love Next Door 1 - 2 2014 Love Sick - 7 2014 Love Next Door 2 - 4 2014 My Bromance the movie - 2 2015 Love Sick 2 - 7 2015 Love Love You - 3 2015 Water Boyy the movie - 2 2015 Feel Good to Say Goodbye - 2 2015 Same Same Is Not The Same - 2 2015 Red Wine in the Dark Night - 1 2016 Puppy Honey BL Cut - 8 2016 SOTUS - 8 2016 Make it Right - 7 2016 The Right Man Because I Love You - 5 2016 Sweet Student Boy Sweet Boy - 2 2016 Gray - 2 2016 My Bromance the series - 1 2016 Grey Rainbow: Views of Love - 1 2017 SOTUS S - 8 2017 Puppy Honey2 BL Cut - 8 2017 Make it Right 2 - 7 2017 My Dear Loser Edge of 17 - 6 2017 2 Moons the series - 6 2017 Together with Me - 6 2017 I Am Your King 1 - 3 2017 Waterboyy the series - 3 2017 I Love You - 2 2017 Present Perfect - 2 2018 SOTUS Our Skyy - 8 2018 Kiss Me Again PeteKao - 8 2018 Love By Chance - 8 2018 My Tee: Cause You're My Boy - 6 2018 InnSun Our Skyy My Dear Loser - 5 2018 PeteKao Our Skyy Dark Blue Kiss - 5 2018 PickRome Our Skyy Puppy Honey - 5 2018 You Had Me At Hello - 5 2018 TeeMork Our Skyy My Tee - 5 2018 My Dream - 3 2018 Together with Me the next chapter - 3 2018 What the Duck - 2 2019 Until We Meet Again: The Red Thread - 10 2019 He's Coming to Me - 9 2019 Dark Blue Kiss - 8 2019 Theory of Love - 8 2019 TharnType - 8 2019 2 Moons 2 - 7 2019 3 Will Be Free - 7 2019 Great Men Academy - 6 2019 Good Loser 2 parts - 5 2019 With Love the series - 5 2019 I Am Your King 2 - 3 2019 Before I Love You 3 parts - 3 2019 2 Wish the series - 3 2019 Love Poison - 3 2019 Make it Live on the Beach: Make It Live: On The Beach - 3 2019 Reminders - 3 2019 The Best Twins - 2 2019 The Effect - 2 2019 Dew the Movie - 1 2020 Ghost Runner - dnf 2020 I Told The Sunset About You - dnf 2020 Oxygen the series - 9 2020 Still 2gether - 8 2020 2gether - 8 2020 Why R U? - 8 2020 En of Love Love Mechanics - 7 2020 My Engineer - 7 2020 Ingredients the series - 7 2020 Theory of Love special - 7 2020 Love By Chance 2: A Chance at Love - 6 2020 My Gear and Your Gown - 6 2020 Present Still Perfect - 6 2020 En of Love: This is Love Story - 6 2020 En of Love: Tossera - 6 2020 Location - 5 2020 YYY the series - 5 2020 Friend Forever - 5 2020 So Much In Love - 5 2020 TharnType 2: Seven Years of Love - 5 2020 Night of Love - 4 2020 YYY Special - 3 2020 The Moment - 3 2021 My Boy - dnf 2021 Call it What You Want - dnf 2021 Call it What You Want 2 - dnf 2021 I Promised You the Moon: I Told Sunset About You - dnf 2021 Love Poison 2 - dnf 2021 Hidden Love - dnf 2021 Country Boy - dnf 2021 1000 Stars A Tale of Thousand Stars - 9 2021 Lovely Writer - 9 2021 Golden Blood - 8 2021 Nitiman - 7 2021 Manner of Death - 7 2021 Second Chance - 7 2021 Y-Destiny - 6 2021 Gen Y the series - 6 2021 My Mate Match - 6 2021 The Yearbook - 6 2021 Bite Me - 6 2021 Once in Memory: Wish Me Luck - 6 2021 Once in Memory - 6 2021 Love Advisor - 6 2021 Tonhon Chonlatee - 6 2021 Top Secret Together - 5 2021 Love With Benefits - 5 2021 Siew Sum Noi - 5 2021 Love Area Part 1 - 5 2021 The Best Story YinWar - 5 2021 Don’t Say No LeoFiat Special - 5 2021 Evening Cafe - 5 2021 Brothers - 4 2021 Close Friend Season 1 - 4 2021 Loveless Society - 4 2021 7 Project BL Cut - 4 2021 Fish Upon the Sky - 4 2021 The Cupid Coach - 3 2021 My Bromance 2: 5 Years Later - 3 2021 The Couple - 3 2021 Hometown's Embrace - 3 2021 Love Machine - 1 2022 Saneha Stories 4: Thanon Sai Saneha - dnf 2022 Rak Diao Thai BL sitcom - dnf 2022 Restart(ed): Restarted - dnf 2022 7 Days 7 Boys - dnf 2022 Country Boy - dnf 2022 The Miracle of Teddy Bear - dnf 2022 My Ride Thai 9 2022 Bad Buddy Thai 9 2022 Not Me OffGun Thai 9 2022 Love Stage!! Love Stage - 8 2022 What Zabb Man! Star Hunter - 8 2022 Cutie Pie - 8 2022 Star in My Mind Star and Sky - 8 2022 Dear Doctor, I'm Coming for Soul - 7 2022 Enchanté Enchante - 7 2022 Secret Crush On You - 7 2022 La Cuisine - 7 2022 Paint With Love - 6 2022 Close Friend 2 Season 2 - 6 2022 You're My Sky: Star and Sky - 6 2022 Cupid's Last Wish - 6 2022 Gen Y 2: Season 2 - 5 2022 The Love of Winter - 5 2022 Meow Ears Up - 4 2022 Our Days - 4 2022 Physical Therapy - 3 2022 The Tuxedo - 3 2022 Love Area Part 2 - 3 2022 That's My Candy KimCop - 3 2022 Something In My Room - 3 2022 Triage the series - ? 2022 KinnPorsche - ? 2022 Check Out - ? 2022 Sky in Your Heart: Star and Sky - ? 2022 My Secret Love: Secret Admirer - ? 2022 Love Mechanics YinWar Thai ?

VIETNAM

2017 My Sky BẦU TRỜI CỦA KHÁNH - 2 2018 The Ring Goes Missing - 5 2019 Hey! First Love AKA My Sky Dam My hoc Doung - 5 2019 Goodbye Mother Thua Me Con D - 3 2020 Stage of Love - 6 2020 Sea Him TienTai universe - 5 2020 Tien Bromance EXTRA - 5 2020 Tien Bromance - 1 2021 My Lascivious Boss ÔNG CHỦ, ĐỪNG ĐẾN ĐÂY - 7 2021 You Are Ma Boy EM LÀ CHÀNG TRAI CỦA ANH - 7 2021 Nation's Brother - 7 2021 Hay Rival, I LOVE YOU! - 6 2021 Follow My Sunshine SAU VẠT NẮNG - 6 2021 Stupid Boys Stupid Love YÊU ĐI SỢ GÌ - 6 2021 Monster in Law Mẹ Chồn Dâu Cáo - 6 2021 Most Peaceful Place Is You - 6 2021 You Are My Sunshine - 4 2021 Fools - 4 2022 Next Door Crush - dnf 2022 Mr Cinderella Xem trọn bộ Mr Cinderella - 8 2022 The Promise - 5 2022 You Are My Stupid Boy - 5 2022 Want to See You - ?

(this was by request from @roices )

source

#thai bl list #list of all bls #bl list #master list of bls #all bls #thai bl #taiwanese bl #pinoy bl #korean bl #kbl #k-bl #th-bl #ta0bl #ta-bl #japanese bl #adapted from a manga #meta post #master post

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iguessitsjustme · 8 months

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Okay I just saw your “Top Non-BL Asian TV Shows” list bc I was looking through the Love O2O tag (as one does) and I need to know if you have one for top BL Asian shows bc I’m obsessed.

Hello my dear anon! Sorry it took a few days to get to this. My brain has not been braining BUT I have a list for you! Before I get started though, I did make a list of my top BL from 2022 and there is definitely going to be some overlap there.

Anyway. This is in no way a comprehensive list and it's just gonna be in alphabetical order. I also couldn't limit myself to ten this time, so you're going to get 15. This got really long so it's going under a cut:

A Tale of 1000 Stars - This show is one of my all time favorite BLs. The story was so well told and the acting was phenomenal. Genuinely, this show almost made me cry (in a good way). I got real close and if you know me, that's impressive. This show is pretty close to flawless for me and it is the show I used to introduce my mom to BL and now she's seen a whole lot and loves it like I do. So this show will always have a special place in my heart.

2. Bed Friend - I went into this show expecting to mostly enjoy it but I was fully expecting it to be a trash watch. What I didn't expect was a beautifully told story about trauma and how that can impact relationships and how patience and kindness and support, genuine support, is a fundamental piece of loving someone. Truly astonishing. Blew me out of the water.

3. Cherry Magic - This show is so incredibly wholesome and cute. I love the premise and I always appreciate when we get shows about adults. Adachi and Kurosawa are so precious and adorable and truly the only people deserving of each other. No one else could possibly deserve the love and light of those two. Plus I love our aroace girlie. She deserves the world. I know Thailand is doing a remake of this show and I'm skeptical but hopeful. We'll see.

4. DNA Says Love You - I'm not sure if I actually classify this as BL but it is very queer and the friendships are solid. One of the best friend groups and such a compelling story. It took me a minute to get into it cause the first few episodes aren't the best, but once the story starts taking off it's so, so good.

5. Ghost Host, Ghost House - This show came at the right time for me. It was so heartbreakingly beautiful. Our main couple gets a happy ending but the journey to get there is hard and honestly I was going through a lot when this was released and watching it was very cathartic for me. It helped give me an outlet to process grief I was going through.

6. Light on Me - The only good love triangle I have ever seen. Daon is my baby forever and always. I truly believe this show did so much for Korean BL and opened the doors for longer form BL out of Korea. The real selling point to this show for me is the characters. The story is cute, if basic, but the characters and their relationships and how the interact with each other is truly wonderful. The acting is phenomenal and everything about it is just so pretty.

7. Moonlight Chicken - This show has so much of what I look for in older, more serious shows. This show was perfect in its imperfectness. We got two generations of queer men in a family and we got to see how each reacted to the world and to their own queerness. We got deaf representation and a character learning sign language specifically to communicate. Heart's story with his parents was honestly beautiful and I think it was handled really well.

8. My School President - So cute. Just incredibly adorable. FourthGemini are honestly ridiculously talented for their age. I'm very excited to see what they do next. My only issue with this one was the sheer amount of singing, but at least it made sense with the plot and it was built in singing. Watching Tinn and Gun's story play out was a treat every week. There was not a single episode that was not enjoyable.

9. Old Fashion Cupcake - This is it for me. Absolute perfection. This is flawless episodes. I have no notes. I love this show. This is my top BL of all time. Everything about this is excellent. I don't even know how to properly discuss this because I love it so much.

10. Our Dating Sim - I'm not normally a fan of reunion stories but this one is fantastic. One of Korea's best. There's not a minute of wasted time.

11. Our Dining Table - This is the cutest, the most wholesome, the most darling, the most precious show ever created. I could not be mad watching this show. Even if certain people pissed me off, if I went home and turned on this show, my rage was calmed and I was happy again. I bought the first volume of the manga for this and I'm planning on buying the rest whenever I'm able.

12. Seven Days - This is probably the most underrated BL out there. It's cute, it's wholesome, the characters are amazing. Watching these two fall for each other is one of the best treats you can give yourself. I'm about to make my mom watch these two movies in the next few weeks and I cannot wait.

13. Sing My Crush - I loved this show oh so very much. I'm pretty sure I stayed up until like 2 one night binging it. It scratched a particular itch for me in the pining childhood friends to lovers. I just love them so much. The villain was a bit too...evil...for my taste but it worked. Plus, I genuinely didn't mind the singing here.

14. The Eighth Sense - This is just good. I'm not sure I classify it as BL but definitely queer. I tend to prefer shows that deal with trauma of some sort and this show does that and does it well. How many shows do we have where a character is actually seeing a therapist? Plus the patience and love that Ji Hyun had to Jae Won was just heartwarming. This show isn't just one of my favorite queer shows. It's one of my top 5 shows of all time.

15. Until We Meet Again - To me, this is THE BL. I cried multiple times. It's tough to get me to cry once let alone multiple times. I had already gotten into BL when I started watching this but I'd say this show was probably my full blow decent into madness. I think I watched all 17 episodes in the span of 3 days while working full-time. Overtime at that. I didn't sleep. One of the most beautiful stories ever written. I'm a sucker for reincarnation stories and this just..is so incredibly beautiful. It got me in my feels.

There ya have it. That's a list. Definitely not all, but I'd be listing forever and getting my executive to function enough to write this was hard enough. ps if you like Love O2O, the ML, Yang Yang is the main character in King's Avatar which was another show I put on my top non-BL shows but I rewatched it recently and I don't know what I was smoking when I wrote that list but that show is so incredibly gay. There's no canon romance but it's still very gay

#thanks for the ask #i will probably do a top 2023 bl once this year is done #also not mentioned here because it's not bl but oh no here comes trouble is also one of my favorite shows ever ever #i cant even explain what that show did for me #anyway i think next time i'm gonna need to be stricter with the parameters i set myself #because this was many

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tardis-ghost-blog · 3 years

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A task to fail (Simm!Master x Reader)

Rating: E - For explicit sexual content Summary: "No. That's not another task." His hand stroked along your cheek and he smiled. "Just couldn't resist stealing a kiss from you."

Sometimes the Master brought a bunch of humans aboard the Valiant. It was fun to watch their various reactions, to walk around in front of them, grinning madly. Sometimes he let them look outside the window when he sew destruction, other times he told them horrifying stories about how they would die.

It was one of those times when you first entered the Valiant. The soldiers had captured you off the streets, had told that you had been chosen as a special guest for the prime minister. With you were two others. They all looked so scared. Sure, you had heard the stories, but they had never bothered you. Since the first day Saxon had appeared on telly, you had found him quite fascinating. There was just something about him that had always made you want to meet the guy.

This made you weirdly calm when he walked in, clad in a black suit, eyeing everyone with almost childish curiosity. After a minute he stood in front of everyone and grinned widely.

"Congratulations, humans!" he announced. "You have been proudly elected to become part of my staff up here. I'm afraid-" he put on a mocking put- "your predecessors have decided to quit the job."

You exchanged glances with the others and found even more fear in their eyes. Saxon clapped his hands to get your attention back.

"To make this more exciting, I will decide what your tasks will be. If you do them well, you might stay. If not... well. We will find an... arrangement." He let out a chuckle that simply sounded evil.

It was inappropriate, but the way he acted just got to you. You couldn't help but smile at this and Saxon saw it and trod directly in front of you.

"Is that funny?" he asked sweetly.

"You'll kill everyone who fails, won't you?" You hadn't really planned to say this, but you just had to know. "It's a game."

Maybe you shouldn't have sounded so excited about this. It also was your own life that was at risk.

"Oh, and you like games, little one?" Saxon bent slightly down to your eyelevel, which wasn't very high. "Are you begging to become my personal assistant?"

Wide eyed you glared at him. You wouldn't even make it a day! He would give you an impossible task and just smile this god-awful smile of his, that was far too charming.

Despite all of this... you nodded.

Saxon blinked surprised, then threw his head back and laughed.

You never learned what happened to the others and you never asked. Instead you focused on the given tasks and did you best to fulfil them properly. And, at the same time, tried to find out as much as possible about Saxon.

He made your life difficult, that's for sure. On your first few days he let you sort the library. First alphabetically, then, when he decided this was boring, he made you sort everything once again, this time by colours. So you arranged everything to form a bunch of quite pretty gradients.

Saxon stood there, one finger on his lips, head slightly tilted, nodding eventually. He gave you a happy grin. "That looks way better, don't you think? Well, I think it does. Good job."

There were other tasks. Tedious tasks that were meant to tire you, some that were like puzzles you needed to solve. But you wouldn't give up. He couldn't kill you, when he had no idea where you were. So, until you found a way to get or do what he wanted, you hid. Each time you came back successful, Saxon looked a little dumbfounded.

"Stubborn, aren't we?" he mumbled one day. Then a smirk spread on his lips. "How about you make me a cuppa tea? I could really use one."

Tea... That sounded weirdly normal and easy. He probably was extremely picky with how it was made.

"Mister Saxon, Sir," you said then. "How would you like the tea?"

He couldn't punish you for making it exactly how he ordered you to. And when he realized your intention, his eyes crinkled in joy. It made him look really handsome and you had a hard time not blushing.

In the end you made his tea to his exact liking. And you weren't sure whether he hated or adored you when he took the first sip. Whatever it was, it was followed by an amused chuckle. He gave you a smile and it made your heart jump.

"You really try to stay alive, eh?"

"Uhm... sure. I guess." You shrugged and couldn't help but smile a little. "But it's more fun to see how happy you look when I do something right."

That surprised him visibly. For a second something slipped and he looked almost lost, as if he had no idea what to make of this. You decided it was a good opportunity.

"I always thought you were an interesting man, Sir. I'm glad I could meet you."

Saxon arched a brow and took another sip. "You'll die here. You know that, don't you?" He waited for your nod. "It's fun to play with you. But sooner or later there will be a task you won't manage to complete." He cracked a crooked smile. "Almost a shame. I'm really having fun with you. You're not as stupid as the others."

"I had to fend for myself my entire life," you mumbled. And when he didn't stop you from talking, you dared to continue, "I... actually should thank you. Your soldiers killed my foster-dad. He used to beat me a lot. Because of him I never had any close friends and... no other family. There is nothing I could return to, anyway."

Saxon didn't say a word. However, from then on, he kept you around. To make him tea, to sort his files, to keep his office clean. But mostly, as it seemed, to learn more about you. He asked many questions and you never hesitated to answer. Because, in return, he gave answers of his own. And you learned so much. When he told you, one day, that he actually was an alien, you didn't have a hard time believing it.

"We look so alike, though," you said, eyeing him curiously.

"Oh, there are many differences." The Master - he had told you his real name - chuckled and reached for your hand to place it on his chest.

You blushed at the touch and your own heartbeat sped up, so it took you a few seconds to realize that his was somewhat strange. It was fascinating and made you smile.

He told you of the war, of how he had fought in it and then ran, how he had almost obsessively spent a lifetime doing literally nothing else, but to repair a rocket to a place that wasn't even real. And then he had landed here.

"Sounds like you didn't have a quiet minute since years," you muttered.

"Yah..." The Master sighed and leaned back on the sofa. Lately he was strangely tense around you, especially when you came too close. And still his eyes followed you everywhere, almost hungry. "No time to... rest." He growled to himself and closed his eyes.

"You're alright?" you asked and leaned down to him. "Want me to make more tea?"

The Master grinned with closed eyes. "No. But..." he paused and eyed you possessively, which sent a shiver down your spine. He shook his head. "You're fun. I quite like you, which is bad. That makes it really hard to break you."

"Why, thanks?" You laughed and poked his shoulder. "Come on. You've told me so much already. I don't think a little request would break me." You poked out your tongue. "I could manage all your stupid tasks. I'm sure I can manage to do one that actually means something to you."

"Yeah?" he giggled impishly, suddenly grabbed your wrist and pulled you towards him. It made you lose balance and you almost fell. But you could stretch out your hand in time, which landed right next to the Master's head. And your face came close to his. So close you could get lost in his hazel eyes.

"You know... Time Lords are usually above such things." His thumb stroked over your wrist. "But you make this difficult. And it's been such a long time. With the war and everything."

You had no idea if you should stay in this position or move away. He was so close you could feel his breath ghost over your lips. Your eyes met, his gaze was intense, demanding without words. In that moment you didn't care if it would bring you in trouble, the urge was too great. So you leaned forward, only a little, brushed his lips with yours. He sighed, lids falling shut.

And suddenly he grabbed your sides with both hands and pulled you right into his lap. Surprised you yelped, but he left you no time for confusion, his mouth found yours, devouring it in a fierce kiss. Your hands landed on his shirt collar, stroked along the cloth to do something. His tongue pressed against your lips, demanded entrance, which you gave willingly.

There was a soft groan from him that let warmth pool into your belly, but at the same time seemed to snap him out of everything. He broke the kiss, both of you panting heavily. His irises were almost black, his look mischievous.

"Whoops," he breathed out.

"Yeah." You chuckled softly. "Whoops." Then you remembered something and pulled away a little. "What about your wife?"

The Master huffed. "Political marriage. We never... were close in any way."

Slowly your fingers trailed down his chest, your hands came to rest above his hearts that still were beating wildly. It made you proud and giddy that you could do this to him, made you crave more. You moved in his lap, just enough to feel yourself gliding over the bulge in his pants. That made him groan again, but surprisingly he stopped you with his grip.

"No. That's not another task." His hand stroked along your cheek and he smiled. "Just couldn't resist stealing a kiss from you."

You giggled at that and gave him a tongue-touched grin. "Since when are you so reluctant?"

He returned the grin, connected your foreheads. "I like the thought of how I could make you feel, how I could make you scream my name. But it needs to be real. It's no fun otherwise."

"Is that so?" You leaned forwards and captured his lips again, rocking against his crotch in the same movement.

The Master groaned openly into your mouth, one of his hands snaked to the small of your back to press you closer. The kiss got wilder, his tongue doing things to you that made your head light. He swallowed your soft moans, while his finger glided along your shoulders, every touch sending goose bumps down your spine. You shivered when he traced a line down your back, when he caressed your bare skin and opened the clips of your bra.

"Sure about this?" he brought out.

His eyes were so hungry for you, it was hard to tell if he would really stop would you say 'no'. And still you had a feeling that he would. Which got you aroused even more. So, instead of an answer, you reached a hand between you and cupped his erection, stroking firmly over his pants. He gasped, eyes falling shut.

For a bit he let you tease him like that, then he grabbed the hem of your jumper and pulled it over your head, together with the opened bra. His skilled hands moved to your breasts, caressing them, thumbs stroking over your nipples, making them harden almost instantly.

Somehow your lips met again, tongues dancing sensually. It wasn't fair that he was still clothed, so you unbuttoned his dress shirt, happy he didn't wear a jacket right now. You wanted skin, wanted to feel him, and quick.

You weren't the only impatient one, however. Without a warning, the Master grabbed your bum and lifted you from him to drop you on your back on the sofa. His fingers slipped under the waistband of you jeans, eliciting a new groan from you, before he grabbed your feet to get rid of the shoes and then, finally pulled your jeans down, together with your soaked knickers.

His eyes roamed over your naked body, took in every detail with awe. You sat up then and unbuttoned his own pants, while he kicked off shoes and threw away the belt. Curiosity grew in you, making you wonder if Time Lords actually were... compatible with humans. It certainly had felt like it, and when you pulled down his pants you weren't disappointed.

"Like what you see?" he asked, wolfishly grinning.

"Oh, a lot."

"Then move aside, will you?"

You did, making space on the sofa, only to find yourself sitting in his lap again a second later. Feeling him skin to skin made your head even lighter than before. You started to move against him, then wrapped your hand around his erection to glide up and down his full length. Your thumb stroked over the tip, made him sigh out a moan. His fingers were on you clit at the same time, drawing circles that spiked your lust to new peeks. Oh, you wanted to have him inside you. You couldn't wait any longer. It was unbearable.

You groaned and kissed his half opened lips. "I need you. Want you."

"Say my name," he breathed against your mouth.

"Master." His name stumbled over your lips like a plea and you could almost hear his patience snap.

Both of you moved in unison. He straightened a little and you sat up on your knees so he could guide himself inside you. Slowly you let yourself down again, feeling every inch of him fill you out completely. You both groaned, stayed still for a moment to adjust and simply savour the intensity of the moment.

His hands on your bum urged you to move, pressed you flush against him. You had never done it in this position and regretted it now. The friction was just perfect, or maybe it was only because of the Master. You built up a rhythm, moved on him with delight. He, on the other hand, nibbled his way down your throat, leaving small marks on your skin here and there, while his hands were either on your bum or your breasts.

The tension in you rose quickly, almost too fast. You wanted to enjoy this, wanted to savour every second of it, so you slowed down a little. The Master grabbed your sides and guided your movements, his clouded eyes fixated on yours. Slowly you rose, let him almost slip out of you, before he pulled you back close, making you feel him glide inside you again. It was something you both enjoyed and repeated once more, panting.

The Master wouldn't allow you a third time, captured your lips and pulled you down on him, made you move again with impatience, breath ragged. He must be as close as you were and the thought sent a shiver through your whole body, made you move just a little faster until there was no turning back and you came with his name on your lips, clenching around him and groaning into his mouth, riding out the orgasm until you felt his grip on you tighten and until he had to break the kiss as his own release washed over him.

It took you a small eternity to find back to your senses. You heard the Master's rapid double heartbeat, felt his grip soften, but only for a moment. He then lifted you from him a little to slip out of you and lay down on the sofa. He brushed a strand of hair from your face, his look weirdly serene in that moment.

"How about we change our game a little?" he murmured. "If you fail a task I get to have you again."

You nestled against his chest and chuckled. "That's not fair. I'd have to fail on purpose, then."

"Mhm..." He smiled impishly. "Can't let a human win against me, after all."

"That's too bad. I'd get to win, no matter what." You glinted back at him, mirroring the mischief.

The Master scowled, mockingly pursed his lips, then captured yours in a sweet, short kiss. His fingers gently trailed along your spine, drew circles on your skin until your breath hitched.

"I think I still win this," he muttered.

#the master x reader #doctor who #fanfiction #Smut #The Master #reader insert #second person pov #simm!master

124 notes · View notes

naalbinder · 3 years

Text

phoebe bridgers // elliott smith parallels

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4BEfu6YZ7XbdHFZBXthIpN?si=6bf8fc460eba4d33

E - Riot Coming - “Sat down in jail with this friend of mine/Who'd never close both his eyes/But one was shut all the time/To cover the thing he was scared of”

E - Stupidity Tries “To sail across the sea of trash”

E - Going nowhere - “The old records are sitting on the floor/The ones I can’t put on anymore”

E - Clementine - “Anything to pass the time/And keep that song out of your mind”

P - Smoke Signals - “One of your eyes is always half-shut/Something happened when you were a kid” - “burning trash out on the beach” - “You said that song'll creep you out until you're dead”

E - Miss Misery - (music videos on the same street)

E - Easy way out - “While I watch you making mistakes/I wish you luck I really do” “I heard you found another audience to bore”

E - Looking Over My Shoulder - “Another sick rock ‘n’ roller acting like a dick”

E - Placeholder - “I'm the person you'll never need/The biggest loser on sixteenth street” - “Just like my favourite song/Some pretty words that didn't last that long”

P - Motion Sickness - “I'll be glad that I made it out/And sorry that it all went down like it did” “You said when you met me, you were bored” - “Hey, why do you sing with an English accent?/I guess it's too late to change it now”

E - Some Song - “Help me kill my time cause I'll never be fine”

P - Funeral - “Jesus Christ i'm so blue all the time/And that's just how i feel/Always have and i always will ”

E - Bled White - “Happy and sad come in quick succession/I’m never going to become what you became”

P - Demi Moore - “I got a good feeling/It doesn't happen very often”

E - St Ides Heaven - “With an open container from 7/11”

E - A Fond Farewell - “A fond farewell to a friend”

P - Scott Street - “With an open heart, open container” - “Anyway, don’t be a stranger / don’t be a stranger”

E - Last Call - “And I think I’m all done, you can switch me off safely/While i’m lying here for sleep to overtake me”

E - Roman Candle - “I’m a roman candle/My head is full of flames ”

P - Killer - “But when I’m sick and tired/And when my mind is barely there/When a machine keeps me alive/And I’m losing all my hair/I hope you kiss my rotten head/And pull the plug” - “Tame the fire in you”

E - Georgia Georgia

P - Georgia - “Georgia, Georgia, I love your son”

E - Twilight - “That you are already somebody’s baby”

E - See you later - “Made out of a night train”

E - King’s Crossing - “Instruments shine on a silver tray”

P - Chelsea - “You are somebody’s baby” - “For a chemical imbalance/You sure know how to ride a train” - “With a needle on a tray”

E - Christian Brothers - “No bad dream fucker's gonna boss me around/Christian brothers gonna take him down”

P - Would you rather - “Quarantined in a bad dream/He's half the man and you're twice as tall”

E - Son of Sam - “Son of Sam, son of a doctors love a nurses touch/Acting under orders from above”

P - You Missed My Heart - “A feeling of relief came over my soul/I couldn't take it any longer, and I lost control”

E - Bye - (instrumental)

E - New Monkey (Instrumental)

P - DVD Menu - (instrumental)

E - Coming up roses - “And you're coming up roses everywhere you go/Red roses follow”

E - Rose Parade - “Said, Won't you follow me down to the Rose Parade?”

P - Garden Song “They're gluing roses on a flatbed/You should see it, I mean thousands”

E - Condor Ave - “I don’t know what to do with your clothes or your letters”

E - Baby Britain - “Fights problems with bigger problems/Sees the ocean fall and rise/Counts the waves that somehow didn’t hit her/Water pouring from her eyes/Alcoholic and very bitter”

E - Say Yes - “I'm in love with the world/Through the eyes of a girl/Who's still around the morning after”

E - Seen How Things Are Hard - “You just didn't care/You were off getting drunk instead”

E - The Biggest Lie - "Oh, I just told the biggest lie/ I just told the biggest lie/The biggest lie"

P - Kyoto - “And you wrote me a letter/But I don't have to read it” - “I wanted to see the world/Then I flew over the ocean/And I changed my mind” - “I wanted to see the world/Through your eyes until it happened/Then I changed my mind” - “I'm gonna kill you/If you don't beat me to it” - "Guess I lied/I'm a liar/Who lies/'Cause I'm a liar"

E - Memory Lane - “Your little house on memory lane ”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Angel in the snow/all crushed out on the way you are”

E - Last Call - “And I wanted her to tell me that she would never wake me”

E - New Monkey - “For the millions of fans ignoring the bands”

E - Waltz #2 - “I'm never gonna know you now/But I'm gonna love you anyhow”

E - Amity - “I'm a neon sign and I stay open all the time”

P - Punisher - “The house where you lived with Snow White” - “But never not sweet to the trust funds and punishers” - “What if I told you/I feel like I know you?/But we never met” - “The drugstores are open all night/The only real reason I moved to the east side”

E - Some Song - “Yeah it's halloween tonight and every night”

E - Pitseleh - “I got a joke I've been dying to tell you/A silent kid is looking down the barrel/To make the noise that I kept so quiet”

P - Halloween - “Baby, it's Halloween” - “I hate living by the hospital/The sirens go all night/I used to joke that if they woke you up/Somebody better be dying”

E - Shooting Star - “So bad, so far/You made me sad/Shooting star/You're distant and cold/And a sight to behold/Everybody just sighs”

E - Satellite - “When they call it a lover's moon, the satellite/'Cause it acts just like lovers do, the satellite/A burned-out world you know/Staying up all night/The satellite”

E - Everything Reminds Me of Her - “Why are you staring into outer space, crying?/Just because you came across it and lost it”

P - Chinese Satellite - “Took a tour to see the stars/But they weren't out tonight/So I wished hard on a Chinese satellite” - “Sometimes, when I can't sleep/It's just a matter of time before I'm hearing things” b- “Instead, I look at the sky and I feel nothing/You know I hate to be alone/I want to be wrong”

E - Coast to Coast - “Still you're keeping me around/'Til I finally drag us both down (Gonna drag us both down)”

E - Little one - “The moonlight tonight/Seems to belong to me” - “One more/Little one, I love you”

E - Coming up Roses - “The moon is a sickle cell/It'll kill you in time” “While the moon does its division/You're buried below”

E - Everything Means Nothing to Me - “At attention, looking backward in a pool of water/Wishes with a blue songbird on his shoulder/Who keeps singing over everything”

E - Pretty Mary K (Other Version) - “oh Mary K, I can see your face/down there in the waves, painted and erased/but I know it's just a reflection of the moon”

P - Moon song - (52) “You asked to walk me home/But I had to carry you” - (53) “And if I could give you the moon/I would give you the moon” - (54) “You are sick and you're married/And you might be dying” - (55/56) “And you pushed me in/And now my feet can't touch the bottom of you” “But you're holding me like water in your hands/When you saw the dead little bird”

E - New Disaster - “Everybody is the same in this long no-win game/Where every new blood/Gets time to become resigned” - “Until everyone knows that your smile is just a ghost/The ghost of your smile was seen on a body in the park”

P - Savior Complex - “Baby, you're a vampire/You want blood and I promised” - “All the bad dreams that you hide/Show me yours, I'll show you mine”

E - Oh well, Ok - “If you get a feeling next time you see me/Do me a favor and let me know/Cause it's hard to tell, it's hard to say 'oh well, Ok'”

E - Last Call - “You're a tongueless talker/You don't care what you say”

E - Angel in the Snow - “Only a cold still life/ that fell down here to lay beside you”

P - ICU - (58) “But I feel something when I see you now/I feel something when I see you” - (59) “I hate your mom/I hate it when she opens her mouth/It's amazing to me/How much you can say/When you don't know what you're talking about” - “laying down on the lawn” “if you’re a work of art/I’m standing too close/I can see the brush strokes”

E - Happiness / The Gondola Man - “What I used to be/Will pass away and then you'll see/That all I want now/Is happiness for you and me”

E - Whatever (Folk Song in C) - “Whatever you're doing now would probably suit me fine/If you're all done, like you said you'd be/What are you doing hanging out with me?”

E - Big Ballad of Nothing - “You can do what you want to whenever you want to/You can do what you want to there's no one to stop you”

P - Graceland too - “Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment” - “Whatever she wants (Whatever you want)”

E - Bottle up and Explode “Bottle up and go/I can make it outside”

E - A Distorted Reality is Now a Necessity to be Free - “God knows why my country don't give a fuck” - “Shine on me baby, because it's raining in my heart”

E - Alphabet Town - “Alphabet City is haunted”

P - I Know The End - “There's no place like my room” - “To some America First rap country song” “Driving out into the sun/Let the ultraviolet cover me up”- “I'll find a new place to be from/A haunted house with a picket fence”

#phoebe bridgers #elliott smith #playlist

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librarianandguardian · 3 years

Text

Just a feeling- Saul Silva x Female!Reader

Pairing : Saul Silva x Female!Reader

Word Count : ~2300

Warnings : Fluff, brief mention of drug use and burns

Music : Un homme - Jérémy Frerot

Author’s note : Getting pretty stressed because of a huge project at school, so I wrote this to blow off some steam ! I also wanted to say that I do not agree with the way some characters are written and treated in this show. I hope I did not perpetuate these errors, and that I got Silva’s personality a bit right at least. Feedback is appreciated, may it be on the story telling or even the grammar. English isn’t my first language. Flahs-backs in italics. Enjoy ! :D

GIF ‘s not mine, and I can’t find the creator.

French First World songs resonate in the Great Hall, she is dancing. Wild and free. Her loosened hairs fly through the wind. She has traded her Specialist armour for a long flowing dress. Her feet are hammering the ground in rhythm. The crowd carries her all over the dancefloor; she twirls and claps her hands following the music.

From an ignored fairy bloodline, her parents considered her a Specialist Legacy. When her mind fairies powers woke up, everything went wrong ; she was always an overwhelmed child. No one could help her everytime she lost control. Nothing but medication: earrings to contain, and pills to attenuate. It wasn't bad. She lived like that her entire life.

Silva is sitting on a plastic chair, leaning on the table by his side, his gaze lingering. She is an exceptional fighter; dance must be a piece of cake and fun judging from her large smile. To be fair, he barely remembered her from their time at Alfea. Farah told him she was three years younger than him and seemed to have a few memories.

« (Y/N) travelled a lot to the First World prior to college. Her parents were emissaries and brought back souvenirs. Rumours said that her room resembled a cave of wonders.

-Ever went there ?»

His friend chuckled.

« Once. It was full of trinkets, books, movies, postal cards too. Ben caught interest in it, especially the giant botanic encyclopaedia throning on her bookshelf. We both agreed after a while that she might be the ray of sunshine of her Specialist promotion. But I guess she was discreet, if you've never heard of her.»

It took some memory searching, but he indeed remembered one thing. A conversation between a bunch of 1st years talking about a secret party displaying famous First World movies. A few hours later, on the training field, (Y/N) battled fiercely. It caught the attention of many students, who gathered around the platform. Curiosity taking the best of him, he had followed the crowd.

« What's that First World song that I love to describe you with ?

-By the light Clairo, is it really necessary ? »

Her opponent mocked her. She rolled her eyes, wielding her sword before choosing her fight stance.

« You son of... Maneater from Nelly Furtado. Now let's fight please.

-Alright doll, eat me up. »

(Y/N) huffed in annoyance. Clairo was a good fighter, but a little bit too flirty. He launched himself at her. The young woman stayed incredibly calm. Dodging to the right, she left him to stumble before hitting his back with the wooden weapon. He fell to the ground with a grunt. A shy smile spread on her features.

Now that he thinks about it, her earring had intrigued him : an ear chain hanging from the top of the cartilage of her ear to her lobe. Each end was composed of a lavendish round lilac crystal. When she lost control recently, those crystals lit up with a blinding light and burned her skin.

« I change the earring every five year. Every year If any several big crises occurred.

-What about your burns ? How did they clean them up ? »

Her left hand ghosted over her intact lobe, while Harvey healed the bruised flesh. Her eyes stared at the floor of the greenhouse. Saul was holding her other hand.

« They... I stuffed myself with pills. Sometimes enough to sleep through an entire day. Within the Solarian force, it was the only way for them to treat me. None of their mind fairies could calm me down. I don't think you realize how much this, she lifted her intertwined hand, helps.»

The soldier chuckles at the memory. His eyes examined his fingers, remembering how she locked hers, as she found an anchor in his mind.

« My best guess ? Your training forged your head to have a certain mindset in crisis.

-Loads of Solarian troupers could have given you that.

-Yeah. I can't really explain it, she laughed shyly, maybe because you're a teacher, that two of your long time friends are fairies or just because you're good with people.»

Their gazes crossed. The air thickened. Truth to be told, (Y/N) was so lost upon why he managed to calm her down. Farah tried to guide her, but even then, nothing positive came out. Her youth as a student at Alfea only consisted in shared side glances with him in hallways. She sure as hell found the man attractive, but she had other stuff to think about.

A loud giggle snaps him back to reality. (Y/N) falls on his laps while trying to take off her high heels. Her eyes are opened wide and a little glassy. She's definitely drunk.

« Oh by the light, I'm sorry Silva. Aimed at the table ! »

The atmosphere becomes lighter. He catches her when she nearly trips off by trying to get up, one of his arms snaking around to help. Steadying herself on his laps, she catches her breath slowly, though some giggles erupt as she looks around.

« How can you still dance, uh ?»

With a guilty smile, she leans slightly against the table.

« Alcohol ! It's the only thing keeping me up, baby !»

Instant regret shoots through her veins. Some red creeps up on her cheeks, as her hands cover her mouth. The soldier chuckles, enamoured by her adorableness. One thing that strucked him when they met was her lightness. Out of all the solarian troupers out there, or even all the specialists he ever crossed paths with, she was one of the few who stayed so bright and playful. Subconsciously, his fingers dig slightly in her hips.

« It's alright, (Y/L/N).»

She giggles a bit, but thanks him. Farah watches from a far, joined by Ben. (Y/N)(Y/L/N) has been teaching at Alfea for a year now. The entire school seemed to have transformed into a much more joyous place : students got along better, the shyest opened a tad and the roughest softened. Ben's daughter Terra found a supporter of her personal projects and a confidant. Ben himself benefited from her return. Mostly in books and knowledge but that meant already so much to him. Farah gained a daughter ; (Y/N)'s powers were a mess for her advanced age, helping felt natural. But what she loved the most was how confused Saul got with the new Specialist. Their bond strengthened with time, however the first few days rocked the Headmaster all over the place.

«(Y/L/N), what did you do to our office ? Did you... Are these books classified by alphabetic order and colour ?! »

His colleague shrugged, trying to see if he was mad or just surprised. It happened a few days after her arrival. Their shared office went under few renovations.

« (Y/L/N), why dancing classes ? »

She shot up, put her hands on his desk and took twenty minutes to explain how it would make their movements more flexible, strengthen teamwork and be a tool for future mission on the job. Astonished could not describe Silva's feeling.

An admirable change that proved beneficial to the students. These two grew very fond of each other. A lot more than they thought. Words in the hallways started to spread about their growing fondness.

« Okay, I got a question for you, soldier boy.»

Saul tilted his head to the side.

« Are you having fun ?

-Of course I am.»

(Y/N) looks disappointed. Turning around, she pours some water in her cup and chugs it down.

« Really ? 'Cause the only thing I've seen you do is sit in a corner all night. »

He lowers his head, searching for the right words. How does he say that he just loves watching her run around the dancefloor ? How she bounds with students but also keeps their respect ? The fact that she's so organised that she could plan a First World themed party and keep her teacher skills to their best ? The shortest way for that would be admitting his feelings. He zones out long enough for her to talk again.

« It's okay. »

His eyes lock with hers. How did she sober up so quickly ?

« I know you have a reputation as a serious and frowny teacher to keep. And this is a graduation party, so. »

Never mind, she did not. The woman gets up, only to kneel under the tablecloth. He panics briefly.

« (Y/N), what on Earth are you doing ?»

She mumbles before appearing back outside. Her hands are holding a package. Another bright smile shines on her face. Silva knows what's coming, and he has mixed feelings about it; between fear, excitement and confusion.

« Happy Birthday Saul. »

His heart nearly stops. Few people know about his birthday, she is now a part of them. He frankly does not mind, even wished for it for a while now. His hands gently take the package to open it. Before his eyes lies a hard covered sketchbook and a wooden box full of high-quality pencils. The cover has a crow flying in a pearly sky with a red sun. The box is made of ebony and his name carved in silver. She knows an another of his secret. He tears up. The woman worries when he starts to sniffle. Much to her surprise, the soldier puts the gifts on the table before hugging her with all his might. Thank God the students are dancing or already out of the hall to smoke. (Y/N) answers his embrace, reassured.

« Thank you so much dear. »

It's her turn to have glossy eyes. She buries her face in his shoulder. This man is constantly under pressure and she has always wondered what he does during his free time : Does he train more ? He probably reads, right ? The answer came on a regular afternoon.

Silva knocked on her quarters' door. He heard shuffling before (Y/N) opened. She was wearing a bathrobe and a towel around her hair.

« Hi Saul ! Sorry hum. I woke up late and did not expect you so soon so, hum. »

The woman looked around, making her towel fall. Picking it up, she invited him in. He indulged, though a bit surprised.

« I'll be back in a jiffy, you know, putting some clothes on and all. Okay.»

She disappeared in her bathroom, leaving him to explore her room. Many watercolour paintings covered the walls, some abstract and others from the Realms of the Otherworld. However, a few landscapes felt unknown to him. On her desk lied sketches with a horde of different pencils. He discovered portraits of Farah, Ben, Terra, Sky, Riven and finally him. The lines were thin, some shadows sharp for the warriors and smoother for the fairies. A hint of jealousy took over him, quickly brushed away by shyness. The fact that she took the time to draw him was flattering. His fingers grazed over the pencils, wondering if he had time to prepare a little surprise. He puts down the file he came to discuss. A few minutes later, (Y/N) came out, dressed but her hair still wet on the edges. Silva was leaning against her desk, file in hand, a small smile on his features. She mirrored it before asking about the important matter at hand. Twenty minutes later, he left. Her eye caught a change in her drawing material : the portrait of Farah and Ben switched positions. She shuffled them, making sure everything was here, only to find an unknown piece. A cute fox was smiling, a little bubble under him stating :

« Nice Work (Y/L/N). Nice pencils too. Wish I had your talent.»

That last sentence made her wonder if he indeed had an artistic side. Needless to say that his quarters gave her answer. Same reason as his when he came, she knocked on his door one night. Though he did not fully invite her in, her eyes caught glimpses of nice sketches lying on a table, some rudimental equipment next to it.

They stay like this for a few seconds. The headmistress and Professor Harvey look at each other. No words, no need. Terra is chatting with a second year in a corner, bur her eyes catch them. She smiles, looking away shyly, but happy Sky sees the scene too, thanks to Riven who taps on his shoulder. They can't help the smile growing on their faces. Sky's father figure finding support is definitely going to be one of the highlights of their first year. (Y/N) and Saul part. One of her hands pats his arm.

« Wanna dance ? »

He closes his eyes, sighing. There is no lack of desire but the fear of what the students will say.

« I wish but... I don't know.

-I get it. But one day, you will ! That's a promise. »

With one last smile, she strolls back to the dancefloor, leaving him sheepish. He takes the sketchbook and a pencil. He might not dance tonight, but he'll make up to it.

#fate the winx saga #saul silva #saul silva x reader #sky of eraklyon #fate riven #farah dowling #ben harvey #saul silva imagine

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zenonaa · 3 years

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'The conglomerate taught him a dozen languages and how to play as many instruments. They trained him to operate multiple types of aircrafts, earn billions of dollars and not bat an eyelid as a rival company begged for mercy... However, when it came to developing feelings, that was treated in the same way as stabbing a fork into a plug socket, or offering to wash the dishes instead of letting the servants attend to them. It was common sense not to do those things.'

Fandom: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Fukawa Touko/Togami Byakuya Characters: Fukawa Touko, Togami Byakuya, Naegi Makoto Additional Tags: Togafuka Week Summary: Togami tries to prepare himself for his reunion with Fukawa.

Comments: Day 3 for TogaFuka Week! Fantasy/Kiss.

💗 Please like, share and comment if you enjoyed it! 💗

***

As the helicopter soars above the city, Byakuya visualises skyscrapers reaching toward the sky as if wanting to claim the blue expanse for itself, like that’s its God-given right. The buildings wouldn’t look out of place in a boss battle in a light gun video game. Makoto once compared them to the final level in an old zombie shooter that he played a few times at his local arcade.

Byakuya imagines the futuristic city, teeming with electricity and life, but the image lingers only for a couple of seconds before rusting, wilting, collapsing. In reality, Towa City is an industrial wasteland. Its railroad halo dips and splinters throughout, as if made from thorns, and the ghost of a bullet train explodes into dust that rains down on the city. Buildings have been amputated, leaving only stumps if nothing at all. Squinting, he discerns a car park that is now a graveyard, with graves instead of cars.

They land the helicopter in the concrete clearing behind a rundown hotel, the loud wailing of the rotorcraft’s blades slowing into pops before falling silent. No red carpet awaits them. A staircase unfolds from the helicopter’s doorway to the scarred ground. The sky is a red lipstick stain that fades into purple like a bruise.

And a short distance away from Byakuya stands Touko Fukawa.

Touko bounds toward him. “Byakuya-sama!”

Yes, he thinks, she would still call him that. Her wild mane of aubergine hair writhes with every step. Meanwhile, he glides over. His feet make no sound.

“I’ve missed you so much,” she says, stopping in front of him. She breathes in, filling her lungs with air. He brings a finger to her lips.

“Let me speak first.” Byakuya can feel her lips vibrate as words bubble in her mouth. After he lifts his finger off, her mouth hangs ajar but she stays quiet. Now it’s his turn to inhale deeply. “We have been on quite a journey. Before we met, I held the weight of the conglomerate and all the pressures involved, while you...”

The light against her lenses flashes warningly as her brow dips into a furrow.

“... had, and still have, your own,” he finishes. His teeth scrape against his lips. “When I entrusted you with Towa City, do you remember what I said?”

“No matter the distance, I will not feel a thing,” she recites.

“That’s right. You must understand that my creation was a business investment.” He swishes a hand through the air, maintaining eye contact. “Romance goes against my existence. At that time, though I had started opening up to the idea of relying on others, and letting others rely on me... I was not interested in... in romance.”

Her silence provides a clear sky that his voice fills with grey clouds. He coughs into his knuckles.

“Part of me rejected the idea of romance... And yet, to my surprise, during our time apart, where we could only speak in video calls, my heart grew fonder for you.”

Touko’s puzzled squint blooms into a wide-eyed stare. Its intensity burns his cheeks. Still, she doesn’t say a word. What if after she had drawn close enough, without the gleam on the computer screen on his face, she realised he is as cold as a monitor? Is that what is happening now? Aoi sometimes remarked that Touko was too good for him, and when Aoi became annoyed enough with something he did or said, she would add that Touko deserved better.

He used to never doubt himself, but for the first time in his life, he wonders if he is good enough.

It feels like he has taken his first step somewhere damp and mouldy, where the floorboards could give way at any moment. Without moving, his stomach drops as if he’s already falling. Byakuya’s tongue squirms in his mouth, as if trying to reverse the words that it already unleashed, but he can’t take them back.

Instead of trying to articulate his feelings, he decides to demonstrate them to her. He grabs her waist. Her head jolts back in surprise and a moment later, their lips bump together. For several long seconds, they stand stiffly, Byakuya’s hands on her body, Touko’s hands cupping air, until he needs to peel himself away to breathe.

She gazes at him, brow wrinkled, not smiling. Then she opens her mouth and asks, “Are you okay, Togami-kun?”

The voice does not belong to her. Byakuya blinks, fracturing the concrete, the sky, her body, revealing his true surroundings. Opposite him sits Makoto, the two of them seated in a helicopter.

“You zoned out there for a good few minutes,” says Makoto.

Byakuya responds with a grimace.

To bat away the encroaching silence, Makoto chirps, “I can’t believe in an hour, we’ll finally be reunited with Komaru and Fukawa-san.”

In response, Byakuya gives a solitary hum. Makoto’s smile wanes.

“Are you motion sick?” he asks Byakuya.

“No,” Byakuya says more harshly than intended, the syllable cracking the still air like a whip and making Makoto tense. He flattens his tone and adds, “I’m in thought. That’s all.”

“About the reunion?”

Byakuya nods.

“It’ll be fine,” Makoto assures him with conviction that puts Byakuya on the defensive.

“What am I supposed to say to her?”

‘Her’ being Touko, of course. The conglomerate taught him a dozen languages and how to play as many instruments. They trained him to operate multiple types of aircrafts, earn billions of dollars and not bat an eyelid as a rival company begged for mercy. With the matter of future heirs, they instructed him on what to look out for on female applicants’ forms while choosing potential mothers. However, when it came to developing feelings, that was treated in the same way as stabbing a fork into a plug socket, or offering to wash the dishes instead of letting the servants attend to them. It was common sense not to do those things.

And yet here Byakuya was, spending the journey to Towa City mentally rehearsing how he was going to confess to a woman who had gained the power to make his heart swell too big for his chest. The conglomerate could not have prepared him for such a woman. Such an intelligent woman. Such an empathetic woman. Such a loyal woman.

Most of all, a woman who drew strength from what the conglomerate called weakness. Love.

“I mean... you can say hello?” suggests Makoto.

Byakuya’s steely gaze clenches Makoto. “Then what?”

“Like... ‘How are you?’”

“I can’t treat this like a regular meeting, as if we had only last seen each other at the end of work the previous day,” says Byakuya.

“Why not?”

“This one is different.”

As Makoto’s eyes flicker, he drinks in the tension in Byakuya’s shoulders, the tightness in his fists, and says, “Ah. I see.”

Though Makoto must have known for some time now. He and the others had started alluding to Byakuya’s feelings for Touko before Byakuya was even in denial about them, back when Byakuya didn’t know what he was experiencing, or what was making his stomach flutter.

Evening has dyed the sky orange, darkness creeping in at the edges. Byakuya stares at it through the window. His unsmiling reflection leaves a faint imprint on the glass. Silence swirls around them, hanging over their heads like the rotating blades of the helicopter.

“Are you going to tell her?” asks Makoto, and he doesn’t need to elaborate.

“I should,” Byakuya replies.

“You can try a pick-up line.” Without having to look at him, Byakuya can hear the grin seeping into Makoto’s tone. “For example... Do you like raisins? How would you feel about a date?”

Byakuya’s reflection glares as Makoto carries on.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together. Or - ”

“That’s enough,” Byakuya says with a shudder, raising a hand. “I aim for my demeanour to be calm and composed. I do not intend to act like a fool, throwing out hackneyed lines.”

“Sorry, sorry. But if you don’t mind me saying, you’re overthinking it, Togami-kun.”

This earns Makoto a look from Byakuya. The curve of Makoto’s lips is slimmer now, but still holding on.

“In these sorts of situations, it’s best not to use your brain...” Makoto taps himself on the head. “... but to follow your heart.” His hand shifts to his heart and pats there next.

Byakuya tightens his lips and returns his gaze to the window.

“Easy for you to say,” he mutters.

The helicopter lands by the hotel that Touko and Komaru have been living in. If not for the lit windows and neon sign, the dark column would have blended in with the night. Steel bars cage the building, mostly unbent. Byakuya’s attention fixes longest on the sign that flashes ‘TOWA HOTEL’, ‘TOWA HOTEL’, pulsing like his heartbeat, reminding him over and over where he is.

He balls his sweaty hands into fists. He can do this. ‘Follow your heart,’ Makoto had said, and his heart has been caged for so long. It’s time that he freed it.

As in his imagined scenarios, Touko runs over, her arms spread as if about to take. Byakuya tenses, for a moment thinking that he has to catch her before she flies away again.

Fortunately, she stops in front of him, her feet rooted to the ground. “Byakuya-sama!”

Byakuya swears he feels the spray of her spit, but it might just be his sweat. Makoto digs him gently in the ribs, quirks his lips, then walks toward Komaru. At no point does Touko’s eyes stray from Byakuya, who lifts his chin and adjusts his tie. Low laughter simmers in Touko’s mouth.

“I can finally smell you...” She hugs herself. “It has been so long.”

In the past, he would have told her to shut up after saying something like that, but that doesn’t seem appropriate now. Such a comment used to come across as vulgar, and maybe it still does, slightly, but he has grown accustomed to the vines that her existence has curled around him. His tongue feels thick in his mouth as he tries to think of a response.

“Well, I can smell you,” he says.

This prompts Touko to shrink back and worry her lip with her teeth. “D-Do I...? I showered earlier today. Argh, did Komaru swap my shampoo for dog p-?”

Touko cuts herself off with a groan and shakes her head. Byakuya reaches a hand toward her.

“I mean you smell good.” He immediately cringes. Good. He said, ‘good.’ Her brow creases, whether it be from confusion or from hearing such a lame adjective, and he adds quickly, “You smell like...”

Byakuya breathes in but finds himself unable to smell her, so he leans toward her so he can. She gasps. He straightens sharply.

Time ticks as Byakuya mentally flips through the scripts he had rehearsed on the helicopter.

“Romance goes against my existence,” he says.

No, wait. He hadn’t meant to say it like that.

“Went against,” he clarifies. “Remember when I said ‘No matter the distance, I will not feel a thing’?”

Touko nods slowly, frowning. His head fills with steam, rendering it practically useless, which leaves him one other organ to depend on. His heart.

“Do you like raisins?” he says. “I’d put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together.”

Her troubled expression gives way to concern. “Byakuya-sama...?”

Byakuya lets out a frustrated groan and slaps himself on the forehead. “What I want to say is...”

She springs onto tiptoe and pecks his lips.

In that moment of contact, time stops. No more than a second could have passed, but by the time she returns her heels to the ground, he feels like he has been flung up into the sky before crashing back down again, his head spinning.

While he stands frozen, she wraps her arms around him.

“I understand,” she says muffled into his chest.

He hesitates, then hugs her back, and presses his lips against the top of her head. She smells like strawberries.

#togafuka #togafukaweek #touko fukawa #byakuya togami #danganronpa #dr3 #fanfiction #one shot #makoto naegi

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purplebass · 3 years

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TLH Parenting Style Analysis: Blackthorn Family

This is the first essay about the parenting style of the TID characters in TLH. I wanted to write a post with all of the main TSC families, but I realized it would have been super long, so I decided to make a post per family. I will do this in alphabetical order, which means that the first family I’ll cover will be the Blackthorns. The next post will be about the Carstairs family.

Carstairs Family

TW: mentions of death, mentions of abuse/assault, mentions of trauma

Blackthorn Family: Authoritarian Parenting

This is a single-parent family with Tatiana Blackthorn as the “authority”. Benedict Lightwood, Tatiana’s father, ate her husband Rupert Blackthorn. When she married Rupert, Tatiana was 16-17, while he was 23. From what we know from Clockwork Princess (Tatiana’s first appearance), it was not a love marriage, but a convenience marriage. Tatiana might have liked her husband, but from what we can gather based on her scenes, she agreed to marry so she could make her father happy and proud. Sadly, her husband died young, and she has been a single mom from the start. The only connection she still has to her husband is her son Jesse, although that connection is weak because he is dead and we don’t know if he will be revived. Then there is Grace, whom we know she adopted because her parents died when she was rather young. She raised her children away from the other shadowhunters, thus they grew up without knowing the world nor interacting with other children their age but themselves.

Both Jesse and Grace have been emotionally manipulated by Tatiana. She likely brainwashed them in order to keep them in line. We can clearly see that Grace is not the heartless girl she may appear. She acts like this because Tatiana probably used a warlock or another powerful person to force Grace to do whatever she wanted. Grace herself said that she was Tatiana's blade Tatiana. She is compelled to act the way she does both because of subjugation and of a sick loyalty (no wonder the Cartwright’s motto is: Loyalty binds me). This “loyalty” I’m talking about is not loyalty in the proper sense. People who have been emotionally manipulated by their parents tend to indulge in their parents’ manipulation because they believe that their parents would stop loving them if they don’t do what they say. Tatiana adopted Grace after her parents died. Without counting the possible spell she might be under, Grace may feel like she has to do what Tatiana asks of her in order to show her that she is grateful that she was taken in. Grace is just a means to an end to Tatiana, and we see that she is trying to disentangle herself from her.

We don’t know the extent to Jesse’s manipulation. Tatiana has surely sheltered him from the world and told him how awful (according to her) the other shadowhunters are. So Jesse has grown to dislike them, because he couldn’t see for himself if his mother was right or not. In the seven years Jesse has been dead, supposing that his ghost!self is like his alive!self, he has had more time to be free and “check” if his mother told him the truth. We’ve had a few occasions in which Jesse was surprised that Will was a caring father or that Lucie knew about the worm story. During these seven years, he might have recovered a little from his years of manipulation, like Gideon and Gabriel (sort of) did. Unless his ghost self doesn’t remember about the manipulation or the way he behaves with Lucie is itself a form of manipulation. His mother ordered him to deceive Lucie? He has snark, but he’s also a submissive type. Jesse’s emotions may also be muted in his ghost!self, since he’s living half a “life”. Emotional manipulation is something that takes time to fade away, even when the person/people who manipulated us have died.

Tatiana is an authoritarian parent. She is strict, gives rules that her children must follow. She may also punish them if they don’t comply. For all we know, she might have mistreated Grace and Jesse and used violence, and Jesse might have died because of something Tatiana did. Like I said above, Grace may also be a tool to use to hurt the ones who killed Benedict. The authoritarian parent never explains why the child has to do that. Tatiana’s agenda stems from revenge. She is using her children as tools for her own revenge. This doesn’t mean Tatiana doesn’t love Grace and Jesse, but she had several issues that she transmitted to them. It’s a twisted kind of parental love. She may be thinking she’s doing only what’s best for their future, not realizing that she’s harming them, especially their mental health. The children of authoritarian parents may have low self-esteem. Tatiana was the daughter of an authoritarian parent as well.

Tatiana has PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). She saw her father and husband die, and she couldn’t grieve because she had a child a few months later. But it’s not just that. Tatiana was already scarred because of her mother’s premature death, and she was left in the care of a father who didn’t care about her in the sense that he didn’t show her love the way she expected him to. He cared for her in the prospects that she may marry into a powerful family and make a strong alliance. Tatiana, as we recall, did not have proper training, which means her father was also a misogynist who believed the only good his daughter could do to him was linking his family to another with equal (if not strong) power. Benedict has always regarded his sons on a different scale than Tatiana.

Her brothers were the ones who ultimately raised Tatiana and Gabriel especially, was very paternal and protective with her. The trauma of losing her mother made Tatiana seek validation from her father Benedict, and her marriage to Rupert Blackthorn was one of the several things she did in order to achieve that. She wanted her father to tell her: “you did well, I’m proud of you. You made the Lightwood name great,” but she never could, because Benedict had already turned into something else. That complicated Tatiana’s daddy issues even more, but to her, it also damaged the respectable Lightwood name in the shadow world. Her father made her believe that appearances were more important than truths, but when we see the way she’s lived until now, I guess she doesn’t care about appearances anymore. She cares more about keeping the appearances look the same way they did when Benedict and Rupert died. She’s been wearing the same blood stained dress for over twenty years. Chiswick is also rotting because no one is looking after it.

Tatiana is still stuck in 1878, and so is her parenting style.

See you soon with the analysis on the parenting style of the Carstairs Family.

#tsc #tlh #grace blackthorn #jesse blackthorn #tatiana blackthorn #gabriel lightwood #benedict lightwood #gideon lightwood #blackthorn family #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #tweety.writes analysis #Tweety.txt

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melanielocke · 3 years

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Lost in the Shadows - Chapter 33

AO3

Taglist: @alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer @foxglove-airmid @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @justanormaldemon @styxdrawings @ipromiseiwillwrite @a-dream-dirty-and-bruised @alastair-appreciation-month

Previous Chapter: Chapter 32

Next Chapter: Chapter 34

Alastair used his dagger to mark trees that stood out enough they’d draw his attention. How he’d woken up here with his dagger still on him, he wasn’t sure, but it was convenient. The forest looked the same everywhere and he couldn’t rely on his memory when he couldn’t tell the difference between the different paths he’d taken. He needed some things to narrow it down, which was why he’d started carving letters into trees. He’d remember enough to know where he was when he encountered one he’d previously carved, and he worked in alphabetical order. Even with his memory, he still ended up going in circles a couple of time, but at least he remembered which letters were part of that circle. When he ran out of alphabet letters, he continued with the Persian alphabet. After that, he figured numbers would do the job.

He didn’t know how much time he had left, nor did he know where Thomas was. There were very few buildings in the realm of the thief, but the scenery did change. The woods weren’t the same everywhere, although it all had the same air of darkness. Some places the woods were like he remembered from Devon, maple trees overgrown with moss. Others reminded him of the Hyrcanian forests in northern Iran his cousin Soraya had sent him pictures off. He’d started emailing with her about a year ago, but hadn’t met her yet in real life. He guessed now he never would.

He asked souls for help occasionally. Most of them could speak, but none had seen Thomas. Someone as tall and muscular as he was tended to draw attention, so Alastair assumed it was unlikely someone had seen him but did not recall. He had to be here somewhere. Someone ought to have seen him, right?

A soul of a white woman walked over to him. It was one he hadn’t seen before. She looked like she was from the Regency period. She wore a creamy white long gown with an empire waist and puffy sleeves. Alastair liked historic fashion, although he was by no means an expert, and could usually recognize the time period when it came to European fashion. Lately he’d started looking into historical Persian fashion as well. There were people from all over the world in here, although he was under the impression the majority was white. Perhaps that was a regional thing, because this part of the realm was layered over western Europe. Or perhaps the people making deals with the thief were mostly white, European people, who tended to sacrifice other white people due to proximity.

‘You’re Alastair Carstairs,’ she said.

Alastair frowned, why would someone he had not met approach him here? ‘The thief sent you,’ he concluded.

‘No,’ she said. ‘I was commanded to find you by a girl. I don’t know… She wants me to bring you to her.’

Alastair took a step back. Could he trust her? This was exactly the kind of trick he expected from the thief, to lead him to the wrong place so he would not find Thomas in time. ‘Who is she?’

‘I don’t know,’ the woman said. ‘She told me to find a man named Alastair Carstairs and I found you.’

‘But how do you know who I am?’ Alastair asked.

‘I don’t know, I just do. I know you’re the one she’s looking for.’

‘What did she look like?’

The woman tilted her head. She was wearing a creamy white bonnet that matched her dress. Not something Alastair liked exactly, although he loved men’s hats of the time period she was from. He loved historical gentlemen’s hats in general, and it was a real shame people had stopped wearing them.

‘She had light brown hair, fair skin. There was another girl with her. And a young man.’

‘Did the other girl have red hair and brown skin like mine?’ Alastair demanded.

‘Yes. She had a sword. And the boy was very tall.’

Alastair nodded. It could still be a trick, of course, but it was worth checking out. ‘Take me to them.’

Alastair followed the ghost. He wondered who she was, and how she’d ended up here. She must have been here for a very long time, still wearing the clothes she’d died in. Alastair recognized dress styles even older. A woman in a dress that looked mid eighteenth century, Elizabethan fashion even. Medieval and renaissance clothes, although he didn’t spot a lot of those.

He still made sure to mark the trees when he followed, using numbers now. The regency woman’s soul was clearly annoyed when he had to stop so often, but he suspected Lucie would want to know the way to the thief. He couldn’t afford to get lost in the shadows.

Lucie, Cordelia and Thomas were walking through a part of the woods that resembled how he pictured Scandinavian forests. Lots of pine trees, rocks like in Frozen.

The woman he was following addressed Lucie. ‘I have found Alastair Carstairs, milady,’ she said before turning around and returning to… wandering around aimlessly? Her stare went blank, and she went in a circle, as if her soul had just left her. Lucie must have woken her up somehow.

‘Alastair!’ Cordelia yelled at him. ‘Why would you do such a thing? What is wrong with you?’

‘I’m sorry, Layla. I thought you were dead. Thomas was dying. I had to do what it took to save him and I knew this was the only way.’

‘I never asked you to die for me,’ Thomas said softly.

Alastair took his hand. ‘I know, eshgham,’ he said. ‘But there was no other way. Now that Lucie and Cordelia are here, we still have a chance. But if I have to die so you can survive, that’s alright. It’s for the best.’

‘No, it’s not,’ Thomas said, almost angry. ‘I do not want this, I do not want you to sacrifice yourself for me. Have you considered how that would make me feel, to know I live because you died?’

‘I know it would be difficult. But in time, you would have realized I was never that special or interesting. You would have realized you could find someone else, and be happy. I do not think I could have done such a thing.’

‘Why, Alastair. Why do you not think your life is worth saving? Why do you think dying for me is a reasonable solution to this problem?’

Alastair couldn’t even begin to explain. Thomas did not understand, he did not see…. Alastair was too broken. He was doing the best he could with the pieces, but one day he would no longer be able to go on. He could not change, he could not be what Thomas needed. Thomas’ life was worth far more than his and so Alastair had made the only rational decision.

‘There’s no time to have this discussion, not if you want to kill the thief before my bargain ends,’ Alastair said.

‘We can’t find him,’ Lucie said. ‘We went to his castle, he isn’t there.’

‘He has another. A prettier one, classical style. If he didn’t leave, he’s still there now. I can show you the way.’

***

Cordelia followed Alastair through the woods. There were letters and numbers carved into trees every now and then. The farsi letters indicated Alastair had done that on his way here. He could navigate back easily. Cordelia wished she could talk to him, but he was right, there was no time and Alastair closed himself off from the rest of them. His face was blank and he showed the directions matter of factly. He was just like he’d been the past years, before Cordelia had learnt about their father and about Charles, never showing so much as a hint of emotion. Back then, she’d though he simply felt too good for her, or was, as her father had described it, going through a very turbulent adolescence.

Now she knew that wasn’t true at all, and she felt like she was losing him again. Even if they won. Even if he survived. He claimed he was sorry for leaving her, he’d believed she was dead. Cordelia suspected this had been his backup plan in case they failed at stopping Tatiana, something he had not shared with any of them. He could claim there was no one available to discuss his plan with at the time. Cordelia believed he’d had this plan since before they left, and had kept it a secret because he knew anyone else would try to stop him.

It felt like a punch in the gut. She’d thought that after years of silence, she finally got her brother back, but perhaps she hadn’t known him as well as she believed.

‘We’re almost there,’ Alastair said quietly. ‘Do you have a plan?’

‘We didn’t have much time to plan,’ Cordelia admitted. ‘Lucie will use her power against his in an attempt to neutralize him, which will ask a lot of her power, and that should give me the window to attack. Perhaps it’s better if you wait outside.’

‘No,’ Alastair said. ‘I have my dagger, I can help you. Besides, it’s only my soul that’s here. I don’t think I can sustain real damage.’

‘He might be able to control you though,’ Lucie said. ‘You and Thomas.’

‘Then you command me to fight him, Lucie,’ Alastair said. ‘I don’t think what I am now differs so much from a ghost. No doubt he can do it too, but with conflicting commands I hope that leaves me on your side.’

Cordelia wasn’t too sure about this, but she guessed he could help. They’d trained together, she’d want him to fight with her. She was just scared, but perhaps he was right, perhaps his soul couldn’t sustain harm. Of course, it was also possible any harm would make his heart stop beating. None of them had any idea what effect Alastair’s choice had on his body.

Cordelia was lost in thought and following her brother when Thomas suddenly grabbed her shoulder. She stopped, turned around. Alastair stopped too.

‘Watch where you’re going,’ Thomas said gently.

Cordelia looked in front of her. Nothing out of the ordinary. What was Thomas seeing? Her sight of the supernatural was not a gift she was born with, but after training with Risa for years she was decent. Right now, she saw nothing.

‘There’s a swamp there,’ Thomas explained. ‘Water, mud, with some clumsy bridges over it. Alastair picked the bridge so I thought you could see it, but then you almost stepped into the swamp. Could be dangerous, even deadly.’

Cordelia squinted, tried to picture the swamp Thomas described. Nothing.

‘I can’t see it,’ Lucie said. ‘But I can feel his magic. I think I could unravel the illusion, but I’d planned to conserve energy.’

‘This swamp wasn’t there when I exited the castle,’ Alastair said, ‘and I’m fairly certain I took this route. He changes the lay out of the world then, and uses an illusion to lure us into the swamp. Thomas can see where we can walk, as long as we follow into his footsteps we should be fine.’

Cordelia would prefer to see where she was stepping, but had to admit Alastair and Lucie were right. Lucie should save her energy for the real fight, so Cordelia did the best she could to follow into Thomas’ footsteps. She got her feet wet from a couple of mistakes, but so far could pull her feet back in time before it sunk in. Lucie had almost fallen all the way into the swamp, but Alastair had caught her in time, and Thomas had guided their steps so they’d stand somewhere safe for a while. At least she could feel the water when she stepped in it. Her shoes and socks were soaked by now, but that wouldn’t kill her, at least not in the short run. She wasn’t sure she wanted to know what sort of infection she could get from the dirty water.

‘You’re going to have to jump,’ Thomas said. ‘There’s a bit missing in the bridge here.’

‘Can you mark the edge?’ Alastair asked, handing Thomas his dagger.

Cordelia wasn’t sure how he’d brought a dagger in here with his soul, but was glad for the backup. Thomas carved a line into the ground, then jumped over and carved another line at the edge. It was a doable distance, Cordelia could jump farther. She wasn’t so sure Lucie could though.

Alastair went first, jumping over and taking Thomas’ hand to find balance. Thomas avoided his gaze, Cordelia suspected he was very upset about what Alastair had done, and with good reason. She hoped they could talk it out once they were all back. She hoped she could do the same.

Cordelia went next, she didn’t need help to find balance, she could feel where she could best place her feet.

‘Catch me if I fall!’ Lucie yelled at them before jumping herself.

Cordelia’s estimation that she might not make it had been correct, she fell backward and Cordelia caught her hand just in time, pulling her back and into Cordelia’s arms.

‘Thanks, Daisy, I knew I could count on you,’ Lucie said. ‘Thomas, please tell me we’re almost there.’

‘I think I can see the palace. Just a little while farther.’

‘I don’t see anything, but I trust you,’ Cordelia said.

‘Guess he made that disappear too,’ Alastair said. ‘But I’m not stupid, I know where it was.’

‘It’s still there, don’t worry,’ Thomas said. ‘And if he made it invisible, he’s trying to keep us away. That means he’s scared, doesn’t it?’

Had the thief not counted on Thomas’ sight? He must have known about that gift, right? And Alastair’s memory? But perhaps the thief had only counted on her and Lucie as potential enemies, since Thomas and Alastair were currently his souls. Was she missing something?

‘He should be,’ Alastair said. ‘I think he believes I work for him now. Said I should fail my task, and then I could stay here with Thomas forever.’

Thomas made a face. ‘That sounds dreary.’

‘It does, and I never would have done that,’ Alastair promised. ‘Even if he said I could be his prince or whatever and live in the castle. But I think that’s why he’s not expecting me. He offered me power, and he said Thomas could be there with me if I failed to save him. He must have thought I would fall for that.’

Thomas looked away again. ‘I am starting to remember. You three, you all spark memories of who I am. Who I was. It’s… difficult, to remember the past time. So much has happened. But I remember now.’

‘That’s right,’ Alastair said. ‘It’s been a turbulent couple of weeks. But it wasn’t all bad.’

He put his hand on Thomas’ upper arm as if he was trying it out, to see if Thomas still accepted his touch. Thomas didn’t reject him, which she guessed was something, but he didn’t respond to Alastair’s touch either.

Thomas sighed. ‘No it wasn’t.’

They followed in Thomas’ footsteps for a little longer until he said they were back on dry ground. It all looked the same to Cordelia, odd how it could be so well hidden. It felt different underneath her feet though, and she instantly felt safer.

‘We’re almost at the castle,’ Thomas said.

‘Here’s my B mark,’ Alastair added. ‘I remember it’s here even if I can’t see. I never realized your sight ability helped you see through illusions.’

‘Me neither,’ Thomas admitted. ‘But I think the invisibility of supernatural creatures is an illusion itself, something I’ve always seen through. Odd you can’t, since you can usually see when you know what to look for.’

‘I’ve seen the palace and I know it’s here, but I’m not seeing anything right now.’

‘Watch out, there’s a-,’ Thomas began.

Alastair bumped into something, rubbing his head painfully. His nose looked weird, had he broken it?

‘Wall,’ Thomas finished. ‘Are you hurt?’

‘Sort of. I’m fine.’

Alastair glowed a little, and then his nose looked normal again. ‘Ah, that’s better,’ he said.

‘What happened?’ Thomas asked.

‘No idea,’ he said. ‘Do you think breaking my nose here also breaks my real nose? Perhaps Kamala fixed it.’

Cordelia imagined that could have happened. ‘If this is a wall, then where is the entrance?’

‘Right here,’ Thomas said.

‘You didn’t remember that, Alastair?’ Cordelia asked innocently.

‘Oh shut up,’ Alastair said before following Thomas through the entrance.

Cordelia went last, and when she passed what Thomas had marked as the entrance the illusion unraveled before her eyes. The palace was mostly white with blues and gold, built in Roman style, encircled by an equally white wall.

‘Ah, I recognize this,’ Alastair said. ‘He could still be in the hall where he brought me.’

‘I can feel him,’ Lucie said quietly. ‘I think he feels me too.’

#Alastair Carstairs #Cordelia Carstairs #Thomas Lightwood #Lucie Herondale #Thomastair #Lucelia #the last hours #tlh #fanfiction

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ourstarscollided · 3 years

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jatp fanworks appreciation - day 1 (writers)

motivation - so in true me fashion and my aversion to brevity, i've made three (3) posts (see also artists, gifs/edits) to celebrate the wonderful people in this fandom who have made my jatp tumblr experience what it is; a community of people who simply shout into the void about their love of a ghost band and their fearless female leader. i've enjoyed simply being on the sidelines admiring everyone's love for the show, but i thought this would be a good time to really show my appreciation for all these wonderful people, because if i've learned anything from this pandemic, it's that there is NEVER a wrong time to tell someone that they are simply ✨the best✨.

disclaimer: i don't interact with most of these people personally and i simply absorb their content from afar and scream about how wonderful they are in the tags.

This list kind of became a fic rec, so if you're looking for some wonderful fics to read (or reread), I've also included my favs from the author here as well.

Okay this is gonna get a little long so please bear with me. But I just wanted to preamble this by saying that the fanfiction written by the jatp fandom is what resparked my love for reading fiction after about 3-4 years of not reading for leisure (be an adult they said. it'll be fun they said.). So I'm really grateful for that? I don't interact with a lot of people, just because it makes me a little anxious, but I will constantly yell about your content in the tags as if I were on a set of bleachers with a megaphone.

I also know there are so many wonderful fic writers out there (on Tumblr and not on Tumblr) that make amazing pieces of work, and this is just a tiny peek into that, and is not at all conclusive.

Without further ado here are some writers who live rent free in my head, in alphabetical order, so feel free to just skip to your name to avoid my rambling:

@bluefirewrites -> your Merry Ex-Mas fic had me on the edge of my seat every single time you updated. I am so in love with how you wrote the characters into this and at how many words you churned out for this fic. This was filled with so much adventure, and it was really welcome during a time when the world wasn't allowed to travel. And I simply love all the other drabbles and fics you write, but I especially enjoy the hilarity of Ray Molina, Crime Scene Photographer and Matchmaker.

@captainkippen -> I'm pretty sure Love Drunk was one of the first fics I ever read in this fandom. Your stories and your writing feel so goddamn real and I find myself so immersed in the worlds that you've created. I have reread most of your jatp fics and I still manage to find myself stupidly grinning at my phone each time. Your stories flow so easily and are such perfect characterizations of the characters we know from the show, but elevated to fit into your verse. I cannot say enough how wonderful your writing is and how talented you are!! (also a slight nudge that I am still very much following along with The Key and the Crown and I hope you continue it!)

@catty-words -> Your???? Exhaustive??? Music??? Lists???? The amount of work and dedication and microanalyzing that you put into pulling out every detail from each scene is so admirable. You not only manage to find the details, but you also give us EVIDENCE via your intricately selected gifs. You could've just put the video of the performance, but no, you take your time to find that specific 1 second shot to emphasize your point. And your little fics that you sometimes throw out into the world? They're so beautiful, and so fun to read and I enjoy them so much! (I am STILL screaming about this band's a snack) Thank you for validating my yelling in the tags, and for feeding my hyperfixation to this show. (I'm sad these lists are ending soon, but it's about the journey ya know?)

@lydias--stiles -> I don't even know what to say here because I've yelled so much about your fics that I feel like there's really nothing else to yell. Your Road Trip AU was also one of the first ones I read in this fandom, and really just made me go absolutely feral. Pretty sure I absorbed the rest of your fics in an ungodly amount of time and I just simply think you are incredibly skilled and talented. Every time you post a new fic I always wonder what it's like to be in your head because the ideas you come up with are so unique and so well thought out. Thank you for all the art you create for this show, I will constantly be in awe of you. (Special shoutout to the 5+1 fic that became a 31 chapter monster)

@pearlcaddy -> This list would not be complete if I didn't mention you. First of all, thank you for suggesting this wonderful week, it has been so lovely to see so much love being spread around today. Secondly, I never thought I'd find myself reading a Buffy or a Wizarding World crossover fic, considering I know nothing about those two things. And yet I found myself on various nights after work at 3 in the morning just silently screaming and/or crying into my phone. Your writing is so insane. Your world building is so insane. Your banter/dialogue is insane. The way you capture the love between Julie/Luke in different universes is so perfect. Thank you for gifting us these beautiful pieces of art, and I hope you know that you have at least made one person (me) a very happy reader. I also really admire your dedication to "this will only be a oneshot", only to write like 4 other POVs for it. (Special shoutout to 100 Bad Days)

@ruzek-halstead -> Literally every single fic you have written lives rent free in my head. The way you've managed to build this universe of different Julies and Lukes, and each one still captures the essence of them is astounding. You've extended their characters beyond what we know from the show and I am just in awe of everything you write. Please know that dead of night is both triggering to me and yet the most hilarious thing I have read. (Special shoutout to the Fake Dating Christmas AU and of course the Cinderella Story AU)

@serendipitee -> Your stories and your writing are absolutely magical. I think Write It Down was one of the first multi-chapter fics that I followed super closely and whenever you updated, I would literally drop what I was doing and read it instantly. You have such a way of building the plot and the characters for all of your fics and drabbles, and making the reader just want more. Please know that I am so obsessed with Oh, She Waltzed With the Dead and I cannot wait to see where you take the story!

@sunsetcurbed -> I have no words for your writing. I am simply in awe every time I read something from you. The way you've got down Alex and Willie's voice to a tee is so crazy good. You write their characters and their stories with such grace and care, especially with how you approach the topic of mental health. Thank you for all the research you do and for also writing in your own experiences. I literally binged the Princes Diaries AU during work and lost a good half day to it, and I regret nothing because that fic left me in SHAMBLES. I secretly adore the way you say you're going to keep a fic short, and end up writing an insane amount of words for it. (I have not yet left my obligated long-ass comment on Chapter 4 of the College AU yet because I am still processing the fate/destiny concept.)

@tangledstarlight -> Gahh. Rosie. Please. This is going to sound a little repetitive considering I just screamed at you last night, but now I guess I will just have to publicly confess my adoration for you!!! Thank you for being my first online friend in a very long time, and for putting up with me yelling at you about everything (and also nothing at the same time). I can't believe all it took was one message about your Royals AU for you to post it, but I will gladly take that credit any day. You are so so so incredibly talented with your writing, and your ability to transport me to another world while I read your fics is unparalleled. I adore the way you can come up with a new story to write every day, and then proceed to throw it into your pot of other WIPs. I am so so so so lucky to have gotten to know you and am incredibly grateful that I now have someone to cry about everything with 🧡 (If you read anything from Rosie, you need to read her Seasons/Long Distance Juke "friendship" fic and the Reggie x Photography oneshot that made me bawl my eyes out.)

@thedeathdeelers -> No thoughts. Just soulmates. Jk jk, you know I love your Reggie x Ray x Carlos fics, and I will scream in the tags about it until the day I get more of those fics from you. This is lowkey a threat, but wrapped in kindness. You are so wonderful to see on my dash (albeit scary at times because of the sheer amount of headcanons and theories running through your head), but you radiate such positive energy that it's impossible to not want to jump in and scream about soulmates with you.

Some special mentions to fics that also live rent free in my head:

@sunsetsandcurves wrote a Willex Cruise Ship AU inspired by a Simple Plan song and it’s something I never knew I needed until I read it.

@phantom-curve wrote a Juke fic based off of Coney Island and I would just like to say, yes, it did shatter me. (Here’s the fluff sequel that makes up for it though)

@unsaidjulie wrote the Juke dog fic of my dreams and I simply cannot express how much I want the Molina’s to have a dog now.

@pawprinterfanfic managed to get me incredibly invested in a Star Wars AU even though I know absolutely nothing about Star Wars. I just know that I would die for two (2) space boys.

@sanssssastark your Later universe made me realize that I do very much want there to be more mature content for this fandom (and you constantly deliver).

@theobligatedklutz wrote a Tangled Willex AU that makes me screech every time there’s an update. Just read it.

@alexthedrummerboy your talent knows no bounds when it comes to your Social Media AU. Also she’s written ORIGINAL songs for Alex and Willie?!?!?!

@gennified has this really wonderful modern take on pride and prejudice for Willex and I’m so obsessed with how much miscommunication there is.

@bananaleaves okay, I just found your Tumblr today, and I know you don’t know me in any capacity, but allow me to scream about THIS FIC RIGHT HERE. If anyone in this fandom is to read ANYTHING, it’s this fic. This was one of the best things I’ve read in a long time and absolutely wrecked me. Please just read this.

This turned out WAY longer than it was supposed to, and I’m SO SORRY. (I also tried to make sure I got everyone’s pronouns right, so PLEASE let me know if they’re wrong!) A final sincere thank you to everyone in this fandom who writes. Your talent knows no bounds. Gonna stop talking now before this becomes an essay....

#jatp fanworks appreciation week #fic rec #if i realize that i've missed someone i'm gonna bite the bullet and send an ask to you okay. i will not let my anxiety STOP ME FROM #YELLING HOW MUCH I LOVE PEOPLE'S WRITING!!#idk what else to tag this other than i genuinely think this show saved my mental health and so have all the fic writers.#gonna post this now before i chicken out oky aklfwjepofae #motivation monday

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inwintersolitude · 2 years

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- April 22nd 2022 -

How much gas does it take to make your car have a full tank? The Tiguan's fuel tank capacity is 15.9 gallons, and the GLI's fuel tank capacity is 14.5 gallons.

Do you have to do anything important soon? I have to return a dress to Macy's. I bought it to wear to my cousin-in-law's bridal shower, but it ended up being too cold to wear a dress that day and I don't really like it as much as I thought I did, so I'm just going to return it.

Has anyone ever ghosted you? and have you ever ghosted someone? No, not that I can think of.

What's the weather like? It's chilly out tonight.

When was the last time you seen snow? Two days ago.

Are you vaccinated against any virus? Yep, I'm vaccinated+boosted against Covid. I also got the MMR vaccine as a baby of course. There were probably some other vaccines I got as a child that I can’t think of right now.

What was something in your life that was hard to get over? Having to leave my aviation career due to my hearing disorder.

How do you feel currently? Relaxed and happy.

Have you ever had hallucinations? I sometimes get slight auditory hallucinations as I'm falling asleep or just waking up. I'll hear a brief voice, or the sound of a door closing. It doesn't happen very often, though.

Who was the last person who told you good morning or goodnight? My husband.

Do you or have you ever seen a therapist? I went to therapy from 2016-2017, and again from 2019-2020.

What is something you want right now? A shoulder and neck massage.

Do you have a favorite letter in the alphabet? Nope.

Would you rather own a private jet or yacht? I'd love to own either one! If I had a private jet, I'd want a Phenom, I always thought they looked super fun to fly. But honestly I think I'd rather have a yacht because you can relax on a yacht whereas piloting a plane is constant work. My husband and I actually considered buying a yacht to live aboard, but that was back when we lived on the East Coast. I mean I guess you could live on a yacht on Lake Erie, but only for part of the year because in the winter it's either frozen over or very rough seas haha.

When was the last time you had to use scissors for something? When making dinner. I bought a wedge of parmigiano cheese to grate over the pasta I made, and I used scissors to open the plastic it was wrapped in.

How many light bulbs are in the room you're in? Six.

What's something other than a school subject, you'd get a failing grade at? Anything that requires people skills. Career networking, sales, etc.

Do you mind being called honey or baby by strangers? I absolutely do mind. It infuriates me. Thankfully it almost never happens. The only time someone can call me honey without me getting angry is if it's an old lady saying it, haha.

Do you own a jump rope? Nope.

When was the last time you second guessed yourself? When I made Beyond Burgers for dinner last night. I wasn't sure if I cooked them at a high enough temp on the griddle. But they turned out fine.

Do you have trouble trusting the police? I've never heard anything bad about the police where I live, but still, I don’t think I could fully trust them. I know that not all of them are bad, but you never know if the cop you're interacting with is a good person who wants to keep their community safe, or a corrupt shithead.

Is there anyone you can say that you trust with your life? Yes. My husband, my parents, my brother, and my Granny and Granddad.

How often do you wash your hair? Every 3-4 days.

What's your favorite 4 letter word? I don't have a favorite.

What's something that is creepy to you? Fundamentalist churches. Super culty and creepy.

What's something you feel very fortunate about? Being financially well-off.

Would you say there are any non problematic celebrities? I guess so.

Is it currently cold where you are? It's definitely chilly, but I wouldn't call 45°F "cold." I don't consider it to be legitimately cold til it's below freezing.

What last made you scream? I don't know. I haven't screamed in years because of my extreme noise sensitivity that I've had since 2016 (debilitating since 2018). I'd never make a noise loud enough to make my noise-induced ear pain worse.

What's something you do that you wish you could make money doing? Playing Worldle or other types of geography games. I'm a total geography whiz. I was just telling my husband last night that if there were a game show where you played Worldle or GeoGuessr but with Jeopardy-level winnings, I could make us millions, hahaha.

#survey #surveys #random questions #personal blog

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babbushka · 3 years

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Hey Z 🖤 Hope your having a lovely weekend! And Happy New Years! May I request person a & b learning pottery and let’s goo with a sprinkling of smut with the sentence of “This feels dirty” “Thats because it is” with a one Mr.Zimmerman. Very a lá ghost 👻

Anonymous said: “The only way you’re getting off is on my thigh” with flip?😈

A/N: I know this is short and sweet but I really want to expand upon this idea for a Flip NSFW Alphabet oneshot lmao so if that sounds like something fun, let me know!

(800w, NSFW [brief fingering & thigh riding, inappropriate use of ceramic studio spaces])

After his third failed attempt to make a simple bowl, Flip is just irritated enough to throw in the towel, literally. The little washcloth that’s stained with clay soaks in the bucket he uses to rinse his hands, wiping the leftover clay against his pair of old faded jeans, and he itches to light a fuckin’ cigarette. The urge is even worse, when he looks at the wheel next to him where you’re crafting an incredibly perfect looking vase, your arm disappeared inside it to smooth it from the inside out.

“I don’t think I’m very good at this.” Flip announces, understatement of the century.

You chuckle in the quiet of the empty studio, a shared space that you’ve rented a small section of, open twenty-four hours. It’s just late enough where the whole place feels like it belongs to you, and that’s exactly how you like it.

“No one’s good right away, you just need to practice.” You pull your hand out of the vase, instead cupping it around the outside with wet clay-sticky hands, and toss him a smile, “Why don’t you come sit behind me, put your hands on mine and see how I do it.”

Flip’s up in an instant, but he has no interest in learning anything anymore, instead wanting his hands somewhere altogether different.

He pulls up a little stool to sit behind you, his big strong thighs bracketing yours as he drapes his body around you. You nestle back against him, Flip’s chest stable and sturdy as ever. At once, he begins placing slow, open mouthed kisses to your neck, nose rubbing against your jaw, as his hands smooth up and down your arms.

“This feels dirty.” You whisper, a nervous smile toying at the corners of your mouth.

“That’s because it is.” Flip smiles too, continues kissing your neck, rubbing your arms. His hands travel down down down, until he’s rubbing at your thighs instead, “Are you gettin’ wet for me ketsl?”

“Yes but – fuck we can’t, not here.” You look over your shoulder at him, your eyes big and sparkling in the low light of the studio.

He turns your face back to focus on the wheel in front of you, his hands quickly and carefully unbuttoning your soft pants, glad that he had washed his hands straight away. Flip nibbles on your earlobe, his goatee tickling you just enough to make your hands move out of place for a moment, a big wobble in the pottery piece now.

“Sure we can, there’s no one around, don’t stop makin’ your vase honey-bunny.” He whispers, the flat of his fingers circling around and around your clit, clockwise just like the wheel.

You manage to keep your composure for a few minutes before your hips start to move, before you start to grind yourself back against him, eventually tearing your hands away from the vase and letting it collapse in on itself so you can grip at his wrists with your wet slick hands, and pin him in place as he fingers you slow slow slow.

“Flip! You’re – we’re – I’m – fuck we’re going to get in trouble.” You moan, your head tipping against his shoulder, and he smacks a kiss to the column on your throat, pulls his fingers away.

“Shh, not if you just keep quiet.” Smirking, he pulls you away from the wheel, nudges you to turn around and face him.

“Why’d you..?” You start to wonder aloud, before he pulls you down onto his lap and kisses you deeply, searing and hot, fingers sticky with your own slick, as your clay covered hands grip at his soft flannel.

“Because the only way you’re getting off is on my thigh.” Flip answers your unfinished question, delighting in the moan that you sigh against his tongue.

Getting the memo, giving in to your own base desires, you rub your clothed pussy against the stiff denim of Flip’s jeans, and groan.

It’s so good, delicious, the friction just enough but not enough at the same time – you could come like this, of course you could, but you want more, you want him to fill you up and fuck you.

Your mind starts imagining all the places in the studio he could bend you over, secret spots he could pump you full of his come, his own kind of glazing.

It’s just depraved enough for you to gasp and chant his name, a hushed Flip please yes more please! filling the studio as the stool squeaks beneath your combined weight, your feet accidentally bumping into the pottery wheel, chasing an orgasm while Flip makes out with you and sucks on your tongue.

When you do come, you can feel the hot sticky spread of it soaking into your panties, can feel the hard line of Flip’s cock pressing up through his briefs. You wonder if those fantasies will come true in time, or if he’ll whisk you away to your own bed.

You’re starting to think it’s the former though, with the way Flip’s got a glimmer in his eye.

“I think I’m starting to like pottery.” Flip grins, smug as shit, before bursting into a hearty chuckle when you swat at his arm for all the trouble.

#flip zimmerman #flip zimmerman/reader #flip zimmerman x reader #flip zimmerman/you #flip zimmerman x you #flip zimmerman smut #flip zimmerman imagine #blackkklansman #adam driver fanfiction #adcu

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