#I’m so sorry these sexy fucking guys only get to play 2 types of characters ever I wish they were in something else for once

[mcnuggyy]

tbh I kinda love that people are drawing the most homoerotic and dumb and silly ships with visibly brown Mexican characters like they do with white characters but why did they have to be cartel members… SIGH

[mrshipsmcgee]

1. Peter and partner go to see a movie for date night. Things a little handsy in the dark. 2. Peter has the ability to get almost anywhere in NYC. That leaves some unique places for sex to occur. Peter/partner have a check list of all the famous nyc landmarks to fuck on top of. Bonus points if its the statue of liberty lmao. 3. Possessive!Peter "teaches you a lesson" after watching u flirt for another dude for the sole purpose of making him jealous. hope one of these could inspire something!

Oh my gosh, I fell asleep - I’m sorry!! I choose all 3 for this lil sexy moment with Pete lol I apologize if it isn’t the best - I just really wanted to finish it before I left for work <3

-

Summary: Peter has been slacking lately. Everything has just been so busy with Spiderman lately that he’s been missing things, or forgetting all together. One night when you decide to flirt with another person while on a date to make him jealous, Peter gets possessive and decides to teach you a lesson.

Warnings: smut central under the cut ;) and I didn’t proof read lol that’s the greatest warning of them all.

——

Things have been tense lately between you and Peter. He had become almost unattainable because Spiderman had started to take up so much of his time.

No one talks about how strained your relationship can become when you’re boyfriend is an actual superhero. It’s a lot of long nights, missed calls and opportunities in the name of justice and crime-fighting. And you know he loves you, but jeez this has been going on for an entire month.

And your relationship was only four months old - so, that’s really not the best track record.

Peter surprisingly took you to see a movie in the park, hoping to figure out what had gotten into you lately. He noticed you were agitated and short when you would speak, which is out of character for you - you guys normally had riveting conversations that ended in laughter and merriment. But, something had changed. Things had started to get stale between the two of you, so Peter decided to take you on a date.

So, there the two of you sat - an old movie plays on the projector in front of you as you sat in a crowd of people on picnic blankets. Couples cuddled, kissed - hell, someone even got engaged. But you and Pete sat six inches apart from each other while he plays with his thumbs and you stare at the movie screen, not really wanting to even look at him.

You were an hour into the movie when Peter asked you, “what’s wrong, my love?” You let out an aggravated sigh. “Nothing, Peter.”

Peter.

He panicked, you never call him Peter. It’s always either, baby, babe, Pete - hell, even Petey is better than just Peter. Something was definitely wrong.

You shake your head, groaning as you stand, “I’m going to go to the bathroom, I’ll be back.”

A few minutes had passed since you had left for the restroom when Peter spotted you from afar, some guy was talking to you. And you were laughing so loudly. Peter swallows, trying to breathe as he told himself that you probably knew the guy or something.

And then he sees the guy give you his phone, and you take it, quickly typing something and giving it back to him. You nod your head and laugh again, the guy laughs too - hard.

Peter feels anger rise up in him knowing you were flirting with another person right in front of him.

“That’s it,” he stands, stalking over to where you stood. He’s seamless as his large hand wraps around your arm, pulling you away from the conversation as he walks you away from the park, “We’re leaving. Now.”

“What?” You say breathlessly as Peter drags you away. “Why?”

“Because you’re fucking unfaithful,” he grits his teeth, you had never seen Peter like this. But you’re angry, too. You remember how terrible this past month has been and you hiss out, “Well, it’s hard to be faithful to someone that doesn’t show up anymore.”

Peter walks you into a dark alleyway and pushes you against the wall, his brown eyes angry and confused at your words. “Excuse me?”

“Oh what, Peter? Are you upset that I’m fucking lonely?” You ask, sarcastic as you shove him away from you. “You haven’t been around for an entire month and you think taking me to a fucking movie is going to help? That it will magically make me want to stay with you?”

He furrows his brows as he digests your words. He’s upset - no angry. Different emotions wash over his handsome face as he pushed you back against the brick wall of the alleyway. “Is that what you think of me? That’s so fucking selfish of you. I’m trying to stop crime in our community and you’re upset that I’m busy?”

“Fucking yes, Peter. I’m mad as hell,” you’re angry, gritting your teeth with every word. “And-.”

“And you are upset that I haven’t been around for the past month?” He asks even though he knows your answer. “There is a very very bad man out there that I’m trying to track down right now. He kills without remorse. He - he threatened to kill you. So I have to find him, I have to. And now, after this entire month of trying to protect you - you go and flirt with the first tall brute you can find to piss me off? What the fuck is that about?”

“Oh fuck you, Peter,” you hiss. “I’m sorry I’ve never dated a crime fighting hero before and I’m needy! I flirted with that dude because I wanted you to finally pay attention to me!”

“Fuck me?! Fuck you!” He yells, punching the wall beside you. “Whatever! Go flirt with that guy again, I’m sure he’ll be glad to have you!”

“Yeah - just fuck me, Peter! You’re such an asshole. Fuck you!” You yell, walking away from him. You can hear a web shoot and feel it extended around your wrist as Peter pulls you back into his arms. His brown eyes look into yours and he flashes you a smirk, “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”

Before you can react Peter has thrown the two of you onto the roof of the building he had just had you pinned against. “How about instead of fighting I just fuck you senseless? Would that get you to shut the fuck up already? You’re so needy for me I bet that is just what you want. Do you want that? You want me to fuck you?”

You nod, not realizing you had Peter’s shirt in your tightened grip. He smirks, “That’s all you had to say, my needy baby.” Peter wraps his arms around you before he swings you through the city - dropping as he neared the Statue of Liberty.

“Peter, are we allowed to be up here?” You ask, clinging to him as you scanned the city. Gosh, you were high up. Peter walks himself into you, rubbing his erection into your ass to show what you’ve done to him.

“Now be a good girl and take your pants off so I can fuck you,” he whispers in your ear, his hand cupping your breast as you let out a gasp. You take your pants off, the wind hitting your most private parts as Peters hand finds it’s way to the curve of your hip, pulling you into his pelvis. He digs his nose into your neck.

Peter unzips his pants, pulling his warm cock from hiding and sliding it between your asscheeks. “You’re too short, I need to pick you up,” he grunts, picking you up with ease as he slides his precum soaked erection between your legs. You both let out soft moans as he rocks back and forth, gathering both of your juices for between lubrication.

“Are you going to flirt with other people again?” He asks as he slides into you, “Hm?”

You can’t speak as he slides further in, your wall squirming around his cock as he starts to fuck you. “You won’t flirt with anyone because you know that no one else can fuck you like this - yeah? No one else can fuck you whenever they want like I can. No one. You’re mine.”

You moan, feeling yourself beginning to unravel under his touch. “I’m going to cum, Pete.” “Then fucking cum, baby,” he growls as his hot cum shoots inside of you. “Cum for me.”

—

Tag List: @rose-writes-shit @xuxialling @itwasallinmyhead1 @mypalbuck @angelcritterz @levylovegood @gwenebear @saltedcoffeescotch @thelittlebirdwriter @mbjackie @kiwi5335 @nikkitc0703 @laurathefahrradsattel @lizabethmenke @cheeseman @blooming-violets @andrewgarfieldsloml @s0upisgood

[salemwritesxx]

𝓯𝓪𝓵𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾.

𝕋 𝕒 𝕜 𝕒 𝕞 𝕚  𝕂 𝕖 𝕚 𝕘 𝕠  |  ℍ 𝕒 𝕨 𝕜 𝕤

     ⇴ male reader [22, chubby, 194cm]      ⇴ all characters are depicted as [18]+

↳ summary: [Your.name] is a chubby and tall man, someone who definitely didn’t fit Japan’s beauty standards. Safe to say, he wasn’t the most confident. However, during one group date, it finally all changes when he meets someone who is certainly very interested in him.

↣ rating: general audiences ↣ warnings: modern AU; self-deprecation; chubby, tall reader; reader’s “friends” being assholes to chubby reader; hawks and reader have a happy end tho; hawks is a simp for reader from the first minute on, ok?

part 2.

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“Come with us, they said. It will be fun, they said.”, you mumbled to yourself as you stood there. Awkward. Alone. Ignored. Too afraid the tiny bar stools would collapse underneath your big ass, hence why you chose to rather stand than sit.

Why did you let yourself get dragged into this group date? You wanted to say no in the beginning, but with your friends pestering you, you kind of agreed in the end. Though now, you knew all too well why you didn’t want to come.

As a chubby and very tall man, you weren’t the type that people, or rather, gay men, drooled over. At least you hadn’t had anyone show interest in you like that. Maybe it was because you were rather shy and thus not as loud as many of your fellow male friends, or you were the “wrong chubby”. Whatever it was, you were not attractive. Society made sure to tell you that at least once a day and sometimes those nice and kind people, not, were even going out of their way to tell you what a nuisance your were with your tall, fat ass taking up space. And in Japan, where everything was not really built to accommodate people like you, it was sometimes very hard to fit into things.

While you were sighing to yourself for the nth time and making sure to put yourself down as much as you could, you certainly didn’t realize how someone was always glancing at you. Hawks was one of the four gay men you and your friends had met today for said group date. Ever since he saw you, he had the urge to talk to you and get to know you. You were so tall and handsome and t h i c k. You could probably swing him around and break him like a toothpick. Just thinking about it made him grin.

However, it almost seemed like you had a shield around you he just couldn’t break through. He could guess why. Not only once had he seen people bullying the ones that didn’t fit the norm. Too fat, too skinny, too small, too tall – there was no end. People always found reasons to put others down. With how you stood there all alone, trying to make yourself as small as possible, Kei understood you tried to hide and you were uncomfortable. Even though you literally had nothing to hide. God, he wished he had met you sooner.

“Oiii Ta-ka-mi-san!”, his thoughts were rudely interrupted.

“What are you staring at Takami-san?”, then one of your friends, who was obviously interested in him, looked in the direction as well.

“Ah. [Your.name], huh? He’s like a car accident, right? You don’t wanna look but you also can’t really look away.”, your ‘friend’ laughed and Kei could have not been more disgusted by that behavior.

“God I wish I could just punch you, you fucking idiot!”, Keigo thought, furious and having to gulp down the anger.

Thus, he just smiled a little before he silently stood up to walk over to you, ignoring the calling of your ‘friend’. Instead, he got all nervous all of a sudden. Normally, he was the one being confessed to, not the one confessing or even initiating a conversation. Takami was used to people fawning over him, he was a rather successful model after all, hence why it was so hard to find someone who wasn’t just interested in him sexually or because of his money. And it did not help one bit that he found you so unbelievably attractive as well, his nervousness was at its peak.

“Hey. You’re… [Your.name], right?”, he tried to sound very casual as he leaned against the bar beside you. AND MY GOD, he was so tiny compared to you. He loved it. The way he had to look up so much.

You were rather surprised to get attention, especially from someone like Hawks. Like, he was so out of your league it was ridiculous to even think he would even BREATH besides you – yet there he was. Talking to you-

Oh. You knew what he wanted.

“Okay, look, let’s just skip all that polite small talk, the little laughs so we don’t feel awkward before you drop the question. Just tell me, which number do you want? Or should I just give you all three?”, you immediately cut to the chase. It had never been any different, so why would it be today? Especially when someone so sexy and pretty talked to you? Obviously he wanted someone from your much more handsome and well-trained friends.

Hawks was, however, rather surprised that THIS was your initial reaction to him talking to you. Though he could have not known how hard it would truly be to get to know you or get your number.

“Uhm… To be honest, your number alone would be quite sufficient.”, Keigo played it smooth. A handsome smile on his lips covered up his own nervousness – was he about to get rejected?

For a few seconds you stared at him, completely flabbergasted. Then you turned around and looked around… and looked around… and looked around some more until he finally asked, “Everything okay? You looking for an escape route?”

Keigo chuckled at the end, though he was not as calm as he pretended to be.

“No, I just…”, you then turned to him again, your brows furrowed, “… You can stop now, you know? Like, are you trying to prank me or…? Cameras anywhere? Like haha we got the fat guy. Look at him getting all flustered finally getting attention. Hahaha funny.”

At the end, you almost sounded a little angry, before you grabbed your drink and walked away from the bar. Saying Hawks was confused was an understatement. He just watched you for a moment as you walked away and squeezed into a lonely corner. God… How many people must have put you down for you to think he was pranking you?

“This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”

Running his hand through his hair, Kei had to calm down for a moment and reevaluate. Did you reject him because you genuinely weren’t interest or because you were self-conscious? Probably the latter. So… should he try again? Fuck yeah. As if he was going to give up so easily. He just needed you to know he really wasn’t pranking you, the rest… was up to Future-Keigo.

Clearing his throat and taking his drink, he then walked over to your corner. Standing in front of you he was so  s m o l. It would probably feel great hugging you.

“Okay that was rough. Listen, I really don’t wanna prank you or anything. Just… get to know you… ya know?”, this time he genuinely smiled a little, hoping you wouldn’t just reject him again.

Raising one brow, you were still rather suspicious. AS IF someone like Keigo would want to get to know you. Something was not right, you could feel it in every fiber of your big, chubby body. Then again.. maybe the only thing that you felt was the insecurities that held you back from getting to know someone who might genuinely be interested in you.

So, you gave yourself a little push.

“Yeah… I guess… I’m not really used to…. You know, how about we just start over?”

Keigo thought he had finally cracked you, giving himself a mental high five for being persistent. Thus, with a small smile he nodded and reached out his hand.

“Sure, nice to meet you, I’m Takami Keigo.”

“I’m [Your.name], nice to meet you.”, you finally smiled a little as well. Oof, his heart just jumped. Why was he so smitten already? He literally just met you. Keigo definitely wanted to get to know you more.

“So, how about we go take a seat over there? I could do with another drink.”, he said while pointing in the direction of a free table.

For a moment, you hesitated, though after a few seconds, you nodded, “Yeah, sounds nice.”

-

Without realizing it, hours went by as you and Hawks sometimes were the loudest ones laughing. Your friends just glancing over every so often, obviously jealous you had gotten the most handsome men of all of them today. But for the first time, you didn’t care what other’s thought as you and Kei just had … a connection.

Hence why, when he glanced down to his watch and sighed, you felt a little sad.

“I wish this night wouldn’t end. But I have a model job tomorrow and I only was a backup for someone so I didn’t even intend to have so much fun today. Time sure flies with you, [Your.name].”, he gave you one of his best smiles that made your throat dry and your knees weak.

“I… really enjoyed myself, too. Thank you. And sorry for acting like that in the beginning.”, you smiled apologetically and a little flustered. He found it very endearing.

“That’s fine, don’t worry about it. Well…”, he then looked at his phone and stood up, “It’s 2 a.m. definitely missed the last train. I’m gonna make a quick call for a taxi.”

“Hm.”, you nodded and watched for a second as he went outside where it was a little quieter to call.

Looking between Hawks and your friends who were still partying with Keigo’s friend group, you wondered if you should bring him home. You were the driver, but… how often had your friends disappeared with someone without telling you? How often did you leave a party all by yourself? It was time to be a little selfish today.

So, you hastily stood up and walked outside the bar, watching as Keigo typed on his phone, ready to call.

“Uhm, Takami-san?”, you interrupted him.

“Hm?”, he was a little surprised.

“If you want.. I can drive you home. I brought my own car since I was planning on leaving earlier too and I only drank one cocktail right in the beginning and the rest was alcohol free stuff so… if you want?”, your voice became a little smaller by the end, not knowing if you were too eager. Was this okay?

“Really? That’s not a problem?”

“No! Not at all.”, you reassured him.

“That’s great! I only live like 20 minutes away if we take the car. Ahhh, you’re a life saver, [Your.name]! Thank you.”, Keigo beamed.

And so, you hopped into your car, the only place big enough for you, at least that’s what it felt like since you invested in a nice big one. Keigo was quite cute how he sat there in the big seat, being so small.

The drive to Hawks’ home was also filled with chatter and laughter, once again reassuring you both that you definitely had some sort of connection. And since he had been attracted to you before, it only gave him more reasons that he wanted to meet you again. Man… this could be the first time a group date turned out successfully – for the both of you!

When you parked in front of his apartment complex, Takami didn’t even want to go yet. Wishing that time would just stop, he sat there for a few seconds before turning to you.

“Thank you, [Your.name].”

“No problem, really!”

“You know, if it wasn’t that late I would have invited you to a coffee or another drink or something but alas…”

“It’s quite late…”, you almost said a little… saddened?

“Hm… It is… I’ll call you!” Hawks then said with a little bit of a grin, since you had exchanged phone numbers before.

“O-Okay.”, you didn’t know why you stuttered, it was just… really new.

“Oh, but you can call me too, yeah? Don’t be shy. Well, anyways.”, he jumped out of the car, turned one last time to grin at you, his golden eyes sparkling a little, making you even more flustered.

“Have a safe drive home and have a good night, [Your.name]!”

“Ah, you too, Takami-san!”

Then, you just watched as he walked up to his apartment complex. You didn’t know what suddenly got into you when you opened the door and jumped out, calling for him.

“Takami-san?!”, it was literally two in the morning, his poor neighbors.

Though Hawks immediately turned his head.

“I… really, really enjoyed myself today. Just… thank you.”

Oh my God, you were so cute. Such a gentle giant teddy bear, that’s what you were. Without thinking about it, Keigo rushed back, catching you a little off guard when he walked around the car.

“You know, I might be a little drunk, but fucking God – I want to kiss you SO. BAD. right now.”, Kei said without hold back. His golden eyes gleaming in the dark and his cheeks flushed, you didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol or if he was blushing.

You, on the other hand, were very flustered, yet you barely whispered, “Maybe you should…”

Which only made Hawks giggle and raise his arms. An almost… seductive grin on his lips.

“Then you should help me out a little here, Handsome!”

Was he a bit drunk? Possibly. Was he overly flirtatious because he truly liked your personality and found you attractive and DEFINITELY wanted to meet you again?... Probably. But someone as straight-forward as Hawks was exactly who you needed because of your tendencies to overthink everything. Especially when it came to your weight and thus attractiveness. (Even though the one didn’t have anything to do with the other though not when it came to society.)  

And so, you accommodated him by leaning down. Takami himself standing on his tiptoes, thus, after he had hoped all night long, his lips finally met yours. His small arms wrapped around your big, broad shoulders and your big hand was placed on his lower back. That’s what he had wanted. And it really happened. To say Keigo was quite euphoric was an understatement. He was ecstatic, overjoyed, jubilant and so much more – and that from a little kiss. He surely fell quick and hard. Something he had never experienced before.

After a few moments of pure delight, you were the first to pull back, just to watch Kei bite his lip in such a sexy way it took all of your control to not grab him and pin him onto your car’s hood.

“Thank you.”, he just whispered, still with that grin on his lips, “I really enjoyed myself, too.”

Then, he let go and you did as well, this time really just watching when he turned around and walked into the apartment complex with one last wave. So you got back into your car as well, the last minutes replaying in your head over and over again.

With your hand covering your face, you had to hide your stupid, big grin. If all of that was just a dream, you didn’t want to wake up. Someone found YOU attractive. You had deemed yourself the most unattractive, undatable guy and that only because society had always told you that. But he didn’t care. He liked your “undatable, unattractive” body just the way it was. And not only that, after a rough start, you got along so well. You loved his little laughs, his beautiful eyes and those soft lips-

“God I have never felt like that before, what the fuuuck??”, you mumbled to yourself, still in disbelief that night even happened.

But as you drove away, you heard a little noise that came from your phone and as you looked up, you quickly scanned the text before looking back onto the streets – a wide smirk spreading across your face.

The message read.

“txet me wehn yruoe home so i konw yuore hmoe safe!”

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@salemwritesxx || do not repost, edit, modify or translate my works

�� salem.talks: let’s appreciate all shapes and sizes. being a short and rather stumpy man myself, ive been struggling a little with how i view myself ever since my relationship ended. ive been casually looking on apps but i think I am not ready for another relationship yet since my last one was rather messy. anyways. I know you shouldn’t rely on others to feel validated and loved but loving yourself is hard, bro so… yeah, its nice being desired for once, no? also this kinda makes me wanna write a part two but eh we’ll see!

part 2.

[f1nalboys]

tcm 2022 spoilers under the cut or whatever

- damn they rlly killed virginia 🧍🏼‍♀️ also i don’t like how they’re trying to frame dante wanting the flag down as evil :/ like ……………

- mel is so fucking annoying i’m sorry pls tell me she gets some type of character development bc rn i can’t stand her

-ooooh BUBBA JUST ANAPPED HIS FUCKING ARM IN HALFFFFFAND THEN STABBED HIM W THE BONE PLS!!!!! king <3

-ok i kinda like richter 😝 he’s a dick “i’m a texan.” pls fuck me

-sorry i was hacked

-nvm why is he giving this little girl a semi automatic rifle?????? especially when he now knows she fucking got shot in school?????? man ur dumb

-i literally don’t know the blonde girls name lol

-he’s wearing his mommas face how sweet

-richter is a lil cunt heheh but i understand heheh

-old lady sally is SEXY ngl

-love the little throwback to the og house hehehe

-see i’m literally just rooting for bubba again 🤷‍♀️ feels like that’s how i am in all the tcm movies besides maybe 2 bc i love stretch

-tell me they did not kick her out of her own fucking house PLSSSS

-THEY DID

-CUNTS! i hope bubba destroys these mfs!

-rip dante i guess, cant say i loved him

-i hate that mel isn’t gonna die soon i want her DEAD! NOW

-i like the twist on the old lady mask being his moms face tbh, i also feel so BAD for him rn man…

-ok since he was at the orphanage does that mean he was a child during the first movie??? bc that does make any sense to me……maybe i just don’t know timelines and i’m getting confused

-how is dante still alive lol

-short lived but now we got sexy hick richter on the case (next to die surely)

-fighting the urge once again to just go on wikipedia and read the plot but that’s on me

-CHAINSAW TIME BABEY!!!!!

-NOT HIS LEG GOING LITERALLY IN HALF SIDNIWHDHWJDH

-damn he was alive for such a short amount of time

-hate hate hate the cgi blood and gore lol

-SEXY SALLY

-why didn’t mel take richters gun? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

-LFNIWBDJSJEHE HE RLLT THREW RGAT FYCJUNG THING AT HER

-i love when a person is u der the killer and u can see the killers footsteps and shit idk why but it’s so cool

-is the sludge on her gonna be important

-just found out her name is lila LMFAO we literally have half an hour left in the movie idk how i feel abt it

-decapitation time

-‘u try anything ur cancelled bro’ HEJDISNDKNWDKJWJDJWJDJSJ this movies fantastic

-hehe man got cut in half

-aw this is reminding her of the shooting from school :( this is so sad

-lila best character besides bubba and richter

-you’d think someone would try, idk, breaking the fucking bus windows glass?

-or OPENING IT LIKE COME ON GUYS UR ALL FUCKING STUPID

-melody is so aggravating i’m serious y’all

-SALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY

-sally is so crazy i want her carnally

-she’s gonna die ain’t she :(

-i’ll admit whoever is playing mel sure can scream she’s got the final girl scream and cry on lock down fr

-aw bubba just misses his mom :(

-holy shit he’s huge i didn’t realize how big he was

-sally just shoot him pls like ????

-ok as long as he leaves her alone <3

-he can kill the others idc

-SALLY LAUGHING WHILE SHOOTING HIM

-bad fucking ass

-she’s totally dead isn’t she

-she was giving nubbins fr

-CAN TGEY HELP HER

-OH GOD DAMN IT

-HES CUTTING HER IN FUCKING HALF AND NOW THEY WANNA TRY TO HIT HIM W THE CAR

-fucking idiots

-sally’s like god damn it. i gave them my car and they fucked it up

-is melody gonna die <3

-lila is gonna shoot him or something

-lets go lila!!!!!!!!!!

-ok she’s actually so fucking stupid i’m serious lol

-rip a baddie :/

-the only person who deserves to kill bubba is sally 😐

-we all know they’re not gonna kill him bc more sequels bae!!!!

-these last 30 minutes have somehow felt longer than the entirety of the rest of the movie. like more has happened in 15 mins than the first hour

-what’s crazy is bubba legit wouldn’t have killed anyone if they didn’t kill his mom LMAO

-HELP HE TACKLED HER LIKE A LINEBACKER

-lila why would u stop fucking moving that’s so stupid

-HELP MEL IS ON HIS BACK LIKE A MONKEY FIENIDNWIDJ

-damnnn melody rlly gave him a lil uppercut w the chainsaw

-cant say how happy i am they didn’t make bubba skinny <3

-how is mel walking like a normal person after that also u wouldn’t be able to pry that fucking gun out of my hand empty or not

-the sun roof? rlly? lol

-HELOFNSJDBJSJSJSJD HE RLLY CUT HER FUCKING HEAD OFF LMFAOOOOOOOOOO

-girl boss bubba!!!!

-AHHH the og house <3

-hm. ok so i have mixed feelings.

i’ll make a post w the pros and cons in another post hehe

[dioko]

NOT JUST ANYONE.

izuku midoriya x gn! reader

Word Count -> ~ 1810

Genre -> oneshot, fluff 

Content -> mildly suggestive (spice rating is 1.5/5), drunk reader, swearing, college au! characters, older reader and younger deku | please lemme know if i missed anything!

Summary -> You really did believe a certain Izuku Midoriya had his nose buried in his textbooks 24/7. Your first impression of him had led you to pin him as a downright nerd - boring and young and nowhere near your type. 

a/n -> 1. idk about the cover page i jus thought deku looked cool there and the oneshot title is eh 2. this was in my drafts for a long, LONG time and today i finally got it to the point where i didn't hate it. enjoyy <333

Once, you really did believe a certain Izuku Midoriya had his nose buried in his textbooks 24/7. Your first impression of him had led you to pin him down as a nerd - boring, and young and nowhere near your type. 

Boy, were you wrong.

The first time you’d met him, he’d smiled at you with such bright, green eyes, it was almost impossible not to smile back.

“Hello, l/n y/n, s’nice to finally meet you! I’m Midoriya Izuku!” He'd very obviously sunken his voice an octave lower, and whether that was on purpose or not, it was still cute. Still innocent, still pure. 

Not attractive, whatsoever.

“Yeah,” you'd turned your attention back to your work,“it’s nice to meet you too.”

After that, your ever-so-impatient brother had rushed him into his room, and Midoriya had obliged - not before shooting you one last glance. In hindsight, there might’ve been something just a teeny bit darker that had resided in Midoriya's lively eyes. 

Then, weeks passed. 

Was it just you, or did college students grow really, really fast?

As he left your brother's work room for the millionth time that month, you found yourself noticing how different he looked compared to when you’d first met him. Now, when Izuku waved a (large, my god) hand at you, he looked taller, broader… older. 

“See you," he chirped to his friend, bringing you back to the reality where he was most definitely not older than you. 

Wake up, you're practically a senior citizen, you’d chided yourself, there’s no way he’s mature enough for you. Then, another side of you, presumably the devil that sat on your shoulder, tried to argue. You’re not much older, it said, he’s practically the same age as you.

“Oh wait- there was something I had to ask you, l/n-”

“S’fine, you can call me y/n, ‘Zuku.” you didn’t intend to call him something so intimate, the words just.... absent-mindedly slipped out your mouth. 

Oopsies daisies!

“Oh! I - I can? Um… ah,” you watched, mildly entertained by the way he tripped up his words, all from a nickname, “we’re all going out tonight, and I was wondering if you wanted to come-”

“Who’s we?” 

“Er- me, and… and your brother! And a few others!”

“Oh?” You couldn’t let yourself smile, not yet. 

“It’ll be fun!” He sputtered, “a lot of um, a lot of… um, drinking?” It sounded more like a question than a persuasive statement. 

You blinked. “Yeah sure, that sound’s good. I didn’t take you for someone who drank.”

“I don’t?”

“Then why are you going?”

“I thought it would be a good way to spend time with y- my friends.”

“Ah, your friends.”

“Yup,” he squeaked.

“Okay then!” You smacked him playfully on his arm - his large, extremely toned, t-shirt-stretching arm - and jolted him out of his fear, “I’ll see you then, ‘Zuku!”

>>

Izuku Midoriya had a surprising number of friends. 

He had, in a gentlemanly fashion, offered to walk with you to the bar (though your brother was there too) and when you stepped in, you were taken aback by the several people at your table. 

Your guts told you to sit beside the angry one - he looked… fun. 

“Who the fuck is this?” The blond talked like you weren’t there.

“Kacchan,” another blond - with a black streak in his hair - chided, “be nice to the pretty birdie!” Was he drunk already?

“Yeah, Kacchan,” you smirked, “respect your elders.”

The first blond just about exploded on the spot. 

“Watch your mouth,” he seethed at you.

“Hot,” you muttered, unaware of evergreen eyes that couldn’t seem to peel themselves off your lips; your soft, pink, kissable lips. 

“What the fuck?” Kacchan flinched back.

“Sorry,” you grinned, “I meant ‘little snot’.”

“Yeah? I’ll show you little sn-”

>>

Four flirtatious advances from three of Izuku’s friends, two hours and 1 mental breakdown later, you were finally ready to go home - everyone was, really - but where was your brother?”

“Deku,” he’d hissed at the greenette, “I’m not going back to the apartment today, can you take-” he gestured towards you, slumped over a pile of food, “- that thing back to the apartment?”

Izuku opened his mouth, about to ask why he couldn’t but immediately shut up again when he realized it was more time he had to spend with you. “Yeah, no problem.”

“Don’t try anything.”

“Wasn’t gonna!” Awkwardly, Izuku scooched his way past Sero and Uraraka, trying to find a place to put his hands so he could lift you off the table. Luckily, he didn’t have to. 

“Ah, ‘Zuku!” You gave him a cheeky grin, “you’re friends are so…” you watched Bakugou, “... cute. Have a drink!” It was almost laughable how quickly you changed from topic to topic. Almost. The only non-laughable part was that Bakugou seemed to be a recurring theme. 

Izuku pursed his lips, “no, you’re drunk. One of us has to be clear-minded enough to take you home.”

“You’re so smart! Good boy,” you ruffled his hair with a sticky hand, and your rapid strokes fell to a halt when you realized how soft his green hair was. “Wow,” you whispered, “I love your hair. Lemme smell it-”

“NO, no. We’re going home.”

“We?” A smirk played on your lips. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you frowned when he didn’t stutter - he didn’t even go red. Izuku’s entire demeanor had changed; there was no nervous little college guy right now trying to talk to you, there was a friend (haha) genuinely trying to get you home safely. “Now c’mon, can you walk?”

You stood up and skipped a few steps. “Yup.”

>>

“So, Izuku,” you didn’t bother to hide the fact that you were (very greedily) squeezing his biceps, “gotta girlfriend?”

“N-no.”

“... a boyfriend?”

“Nope,” he popped the ‘p’, and pulled you onto the wall-side of the sidewalk when a car drove by. 

“Any significant other...ss?” You added the plural, just in case. 

“No,” he smiled slyly at you, “why? Are you interested?”

You’d known him for months, but this was the first time he’d said something so forward, enough to make your cheeks flare so hot they felt cold. 

“No way,” you spoke like it was obvious, and then quickly checked to make sure he didn’t look hurt. “Hey! Why do you look so amused?”

“M’not,” he turned his head, so you couldn’t see the smile. 

“You are. Why?”

“Ah, I can’t say. We’re here,” he punched in the apartment code. “You should get ready for bed.”

There was a small, comfortable pause before drunk-you decided to ignore his advice and speak again. “So, do ya like anyone?”

“I like a lot of people,” Izuku smirked. 

Smirked.

“N-no,” you played with the hem of your sweater, “I meant, do you like-like anyone?”

“Hm,” he thought for a second, “that’s a secret.”

“C’mon ‘Zuku! You can trust me!”

“I know that - gimme your coat,” he set it onto a nearby couch and began to flick on random lights, “I still can’t say it, though.”

“Why not?”

“Y/n,” you froze. He’d called you by your first name before, why did it feel so weird now? 

“Yes?”

“I’m taking you to your bedroom.”

“You… you are?”

“You’ve got to sleep.” 

Oh. Boringggg. 

“I don’t wanna,” you hissed, flopping onto your bed anyways. He took a seat at the foot of it. 

“Do you… do you ever remember anything once you're sober again?”

“Nope!” You knew you should’ve lied, but you didn’t, “m’friends say I don’t remember a single thing the next morning.”

He chuckled a little bit, almost in disbelief at you. “That’s not something you can just tell anyone.”

“I know, but you’re not just ‘anyone’.”

“I feel like I’m talking to a child.”

“I’m older than you.”

“Yeah,” he laughed, “it’s kinda hot.”

“What?” Did you mishear? “How do you know what hot means?”

“Y/n! I’m not that young!” He laughed, “sheesh, that hurts.”

“Hurts?”

“Yeah,” he smiled coolly. After all, you weren’t going to remember this conversation. 

“”Why does it hurt?”

“... No reason, don’t worry,” he laughs again, for the third time in a row, but it feels dry to you, and empty, too.

“So who do you like?” You chirped again, completely disregarding his ‘I’m pretty sure I just got brother-zoned’ ideology. 

“I told you, that’s a secret…” then, he bit his lip, “... but you won’t remember anyways, right?”

“Yep!”

“Then... I like you.”

“Who?” You smiled. 

“You.”

“Oh, I like you, too.”

“I like-like you.”

“I like-like you, too.”

“You’re drunk,” he smiled sadly, “sleep.”

“I want fruit.”

“Now? You want me to go get you fruit?”

“Please?”

You inhaled the bucket of raspberries, “anyways, I really do like you. You’re so small and cute.”

“I’m small?”

“No, you’re built like a tank,” you giggled. Sober-you would have called drunk-you an airhead, “I think you’re sexy as hell.”

“Yeah?” 

You leaned closer to him. You were sure he could smell alcohol and sugar on your breath, but you didn’t care. “Yeah.”

“Then can I tell you something else?”

“Sure!”

“Kacchan annoys me so much,” he wiped off the juice that dribbled down your chin with his thumb, and you made the mistake of leaning into his touch, “especially when he flirts with you.”

“When’s he ever flirted with me?”

“Tonight,” Izuku pulled back, and you (embarrassingly) fell forward. “I didn’t like it.”

“Were you jealous?”

“Yes,” he admitted, and quite shamelessly - but only because you weren’t sober. 

“Aw, don’t be jealous,” you cooed at him, and then randomly, ��you remind me of bunnies!” 

“That’s cute,” his voice was hoarse, “then, can you promise me something, bunny?”

You flushed hot. “That - that’s not what I meant, I meant you’re my bunny.”

“Sure,” he nodded along.

You shuffled yourself a little closer to him. This wasn’t the Midoriya Izuku you’d come to know, who was he? Why was he so different from the twitchy student who cared so much about his grades?

“What did you want me to promise?” It was a good idea to change the topic, you thought, for his sake, not your own. Definitely. 

“Promise me you won’t let Kacchan get so close to you anymore,” he played with your fingers, “you can do that, right? You... can be a good bunny for me?”

“Mhm,” you couldn't refuse when he put it like that.

“Go to bed now, it’s late.”

“On one condition.”

“And what’s that?”

“Kiss me.”

Izuku paused. His eyes were on your lips, that was for sure, but he showed no sign of moving closer. “M’not gonna do that when you're drunk.”

You frowned. 

“I’ll sit with you ‘till you're asleep. I’m not… touching you, though.”

“Manly,” you murmured.

“Human decency,” he corrected. 

The greenette pulled your covers above your waist and moved to the desk chair in your room, “good night, y/n.”

It was a shame this would all be forgotten, and the two of you would be back to square one by morning.

a/n -> yes the nickname has everything to do with my URL and so what 

[tomorrowsdrama]

2020 Year in Thirst Pt. 2

Sometimes, I will watch a drama for the plot/premise/substance and be rewarded with a surprise hottie, and it’s the best feeling ever!  It’s like finding money in your pocket that you didn’t know about.  The following list of dramas can be described as:

Came for the plot, was rewarded with a surprising side of thirst

1. Flower of Evil

Brief Summary: Lee Jun Ki plays Baek Hee Sung and Moon Chae Won plays Cha Ji Won, his wife who is also a detective.  What Ji Won doesn’t know is that her husband, Hee Sung, is actually Hyun Soo, a man on the run from a murder that he did not commit and also a suspected accomplice to a series of murders committed by his father in the past.  Oh yeah, his dad secretly tried to groom him into being his protege/murder partner.  Because of how he was raised, HS believes that he has no emotions and is simply putting on an act as the perfect husband and father.  His “parents” are in on the ruse and are actually the ones who forced him into assuming their comatose son’s identity.  Anyway, of course things from the past start to catch up with HS and his wife is somehow assigned to investigating his old murder case.  She of course feels betrayed, but also conflicted as she discovers her husband is not who he said he was and a prime murder suspect.  Things get even more complicated as the real murderer re-appears with fabulous long hair and tries to frame HS for the murders.  In between all of this are delicious make outs between the couple and at least one instance where they banged so hard, HS was wiped out the next morning.

Surprise Thirst Factor: I checked out this drama fully expecting to drop it because the promos were so misleading and unappealing. But boy was I in for a pleasant surprise!  Not only was the drama super addicting, it also had some nice eye candy in the form of Lee Jun Ki being a completely unrealistic house husband who satisfies in the housework (The man cooks and does the laundry!), childcare, and bedroom and Kim Ji Hoon’s glorious mane of beauty making viewers have a moral crisis over lusting after a homicidal maniac (who turned out to be a real loser without murder daddy around to clean up his mess.  It’s ok, we’ll always have his hair).

Yes, work that hair honey.  It’s the only good thing you’ve got going on for you (the character, not Kim Ji Hoon)

The chemistry between Lee Jun Ki and Moon Chae Won was fire and the make out scenes were soo believable.  Like yes, these two beautiful people are really into being married to each other and understandably want to make out all the time. 

He’s the primary caretaker for their daughter and it’s just *swoons.*  Not all thirst traps come in the form of sexy abs (although I would not mind if he wanted to flash some).

2. Six Flying Dragons

Brief Summary: The story of young Yi Bang Won (who later becomes King Taejong) and the founding of the Joseon Dynasty.  As short as it sounds, that really is an accurate summary of the drama haha.

Surprise Thirst Factor: I started watching this drama because I heard it was a great sageuk and I’m a big fan of Yoo Ah In.  Even though I’m a fan of his acting, Yoo Ah In doesn’t necessarily get my hormones raging so I wasn’t expecting to be so thirsty while watching Six Flying Dragons.  But then.  BUT THEN.  Byun Yo Han showed up in all his scruffy tortured deadly killer glory and my hormones woke up and said hi, hello, who are you, what’s your name, what’s your sign, can I get your number?  The deadlier and more tortured his character got, the sexier he became to me.  Sorry Yoo Ah In, you’ll always be my acting boo, but Byun Yo Han’s got my thirst.  Byun Yo Han looks so good when he's sad and/or covered in blood, it makes me feel like a sadist for thinking that I wouldn’t mind if the drama made his character cry some more.

3. Ever Night S1

Brief Summary: As a child, Ning Que witnessed his entire household get massacred because of a prophecy that the child of Hades will be born from the house and bring about the Eternal Night.  Somehow, he managed to escape and was the lone survivor.  He finds a baby buried in a pile of dead bodies as he’s fleeing and names her Sang Sang.  The two orphans grow up inseparable from each other and do whatever it takes to survive in the harsh, cruel world.  Ning Que earns money by becoming a deadly mercenary and Sang Sang takes care of the household affairs.  At one point, Ning Que becomes a disciple of the powerful Fu Zi and somehow gets entangled in the struggles between the Holy Sect and Demon Sect.  A bunch of beautiful women fall for Ning Que, and the drama tries its hardest to convince us that he has chemistry with and reciprocates the feelings of one of them (i.e. Mo Shan Shan), but anybody who was even half paying attention knows that the only one for Ning Que is Sang Sang.  They are the OTP of all OTPs and take “ride or die” to a whole other level. Oh also, their height difference is the stuff manga dreams are made of. Ning Que is a “good guy” but also not a “good guy” in the sense that he is not above doing whatever it takes to seek revenge and is only out for himself and Sang Sang (and later, his older brothers and sisters from the academy).

Surprise Thirst Factor: Chen Feiyu is an attractive person but I could not in good conscience thirst after him because he was literally born in the year 2000.  It did not help that he was only 18 when he filmed Ever Night and looked every bit his age.  My thirst may have no shame, but it does have its own set of principles and one of those principles is thou shalt not lust after those born in the new millennium!  Luckily for me, Second Brother is played by Dylan Kuo who is a beautiful, elegant, tall man

and Brother Chao is exactly the type of rugged and manly that I am into.  

(you don’t have to be)

who looks better when wet

AHEM. Yeah.

Sixth Brother is also not so bad with his scanty pounding work attire,

4. Novoland: Eagle Flag

Brief Summary:  Asule is the prince of a tribe in the grasslands who is held as a royal guest (i.e. hostage) in the Eastland Empire.  There he meets his two future best friends, Yu Ran, a free spirited princess who is descended from a race of bird people, and Ji Ye, an emo neglected/shunned son of a concubine who is probably the best fighter in the empire.  Ji Ye loves Yu Ran who is a ball of sunshine to his Johnny Raincloud dark emo self.  Yu Ran loves Ji Ye back.  Asule loves both his friends and will do anything to protect them.  The world decides to fuck over best friends Asule, Ji Ye, and Yu Ran for no reason as they try their best to just live a peaceful life away from all the political scheming and fighting.

Surprise Thirst-worthiness: I was completely content with enjoying Eagle Flag purely for its story and substance.  It’s seriously a wonderful, yet heartbreaking drama and the scale of the production is amazing.  No cheap $10 costumes here.  Also, the direction is beautiful/artistic and not the run of mill “let’s shoot it and complete it as fast as we can.”  The two main actors were cute, but not really my type.  Then the drama decided to give Ji Ye the “Sexy Bloody Tormented Killer Makeover” and all of a sudden your girl was rushing to MDL to check Chen Ruo Xuan’s birthday and calculating his age.  I am simple, predictable, and consistent when it comes to my thirst and give a character some scruff, long hair, angst, and some bloodlust and I’m all yours.  I am literally:

Is it wrong that when Ji Ye showed up looking like this ready to kill his mother’s torturer

I thought, yes, can we have him kill another? 

5. Run On

Brief Summary: Im Siwan plays Ki Seon Geom, a national track runner from a rich family who is a bit of an oddball and marches to his own beat.  Although his words can sometimes be construed as rude since he has no filter, they are also completely honest and have no hidden meaning.  He also has his own personal code that he lives by and he will stick to it no matter how negatively it may impact himself.  He meets Oh Mi Joo, a translator with her own strange quirks and sparks fly as Mi Joo is assigned to be his interpreter.  

Surprise Thirst-worthiness: I kind of watched this drama by accident.  I had read about Im Siwan starring in a new drama but nothing I saw from the description or promos for Run On appealed to me.  Nor did it give me any information about what the drama would be about.  Then one day, I just happened to be browsing Netflix for something to play in the  background and decided on Run on since I thought I wouldn’t be that invested.  What a happy accident that turned out to be because I’m so in love with this drama right now.  This is a case where the thirst does not stem from the character’s physical appearance, but from the intensity/charisma the actor brings to the character and the character himself.  Ki Seon Geom is so odd, but so appealing at the same time and Im Siwan is so magnetic in the role.  Prior to Run On, Im Siwan wasn’t really my type physically.  In fact, I always scratched my head whenever people called him handsome in dramas (I know, I know, forgive me).  So color me shocked when I found myself swooning all over Im Siwan in the second episode of Run On.  Now, it’s like I have “Im Siwan is attractive” glasses on and he looks attractive in everything to me.  I want to gobble up all the dramas he’s been in.

[rebellioussinner09]

Who’s in Control?

Sub Kuroo x dom Fem Reader ❤️

Warning: VERY INTENSE AND LOTS OF CURSE WORDS AND KAMANYAKAN HAHAHAH (CHARACTER IS ABOVE 18 here)

If there’s one thing Kuroo prides himself for is that he knows he has good stamina.

Actually good was an understatement, he knows he has *excellent stamina* not only for playing volleyball but also for bedroom activities.

And Not to mention he was rough and unforgiving when it comes to sex(at least thats what he tells himself)

And he definitely uses that gift for his own advantages,

I mean he himself witnessed on how Y/N would just loose her mind from his Overstimulation or just his thrusting in general.

And a lot of their friends and peers often jokes about on how Y/N handles Kuroo’s attitude. Because as they quote “kuroo seems to be the type of guy who’s into bdsm”

*because lets be real He wasn’t called scheming captain by his team for nothing*

And Even Kenma and Bokuto would join in on that playful banter that Kuroo needs to tone it down sometimes so that Y/N can at least breath and have a chance to keep up with him.

Kuroo would only nod and smile to those comments because oh how wrong their assumptions were.

Because if the roles had been reversed, Y/N was literally 100x worse when it comes to teasing and sadism.

His teammates cleary hasn’t seen Y/N’s all dominant glory when she’s the one taking the reigns on their relationship.

And Kuroo totally had his first hand experience on this;

There was a time where they made a bet on who could last a week on teasing before the other one break, and Y/N won that bet fair and square cause not once did he saw her Crumble, she just shrugged off Kuroo’s efforts in teasing like it was just nothing.

And the dirty talk

*oh god the dirty talk*

If kuroo had a filthy mouth that calls out degrading terms when doing the deed, Y/N was more of a sweet smoth talker that would coo and whisper sweet nothings on your ear and somehow that was 10x worse cause man that girl knows her way with her words.

She would babble out on “how much of a good boy” Tetsuro has been and on how proud she is of him while she bounces herself up and down on his cock.

At that; Kuroo can practically pinpoint the moment he realizes and accepts he is no match for a dom Y/N

So he only whimpers in response as she digs her claws at the back of his shoulders as she continue the activity on riding him.

“Who’s my sweet boy now?” Y/N asks, her fingers slowly tracing the veins on Kuroo’s biceps.

“I am” Kuroo pants desperately “I am baby please- you’re killing me”

But the girl in front of her only raises a brow back at him, she growls loudly as her hand went up to grip Kuroo’s neck

“Now that’s not one way to adress me” she demands as she squeezed the lining of Kuroo’s adam’s apple

“Mommy” Kuroo moaned below her “Im sorry Mommy please”

With a satisfied smirk, Y/N realeses her hold, she leans down to her partners eye level to give him a passionate kiss on the lips

“Ok baby. You can cum now”

As if on command, Kuroo bucks his hips against her core as he splurted his load deep inside her

“Fuck” he hisses between his teeth.

By the time he was finished, he gives Y/N a sturdy glare “You’re killing me” he groans

But his girl only giggles in response “That’s what you get for picking a fight with Bokuto today”

And that was only Level 01 of Y/N being a dom.

Level 2 was way more intense and extreme because it involves a certain strap on toy that Y/N bought online

And to be honest Kuroo was a bit hesistant at getting pegged at first, because no way in hell was he agreeing on shoving up a dildo up to his prostate,

but the protest died on his mouth the moment Y/N pushed him in all fours over towards the bed.

“Awww but baby you take me so good” she purrs as she gently tugs of Kuroo’s boxers from his waist.

“Surely a big boy like you can handle a little strap on now would you?”

Kuroo lets out a deep growl as Y/N prods a finger into his hole to at least stretch it out before she pushes the toy in

“Y/N-“ he warnes

“Yes baby?”

He was about to retort a complaint when he feels the silicon material pushed up against his p-spot

“Fuck” he curses as he grabs a fistful the sheets below him

“You okay?” Y/N asks once she was fully in.

“M’good” Kuroo breathes “Just take it slow on me baby please”

But Y/N’s definition of slow was quite the opposite cause she rutted in him almost quickly as he lets the 7 inch toy slide in and out of him.

The overwhelming sensation of being full and the constant hitting of his prostate was too much for Kuroo’s liking.

He was too absorbed in processing the foreign object against his hole he was surprised Y/N’s hand made its way into his neglected cock.

She gives it a few gentle strokes before she pulls away to trap her arms into Kuroo’s neck.

“Straighten up” she orders lowly “Look at yourself in the mirror”

And Kuroo was quick to obey as he takes his full form on the reflection in front of him.

He was on his knees on the bed while Y/N relentlessly pounds him from behind.

“That’s it baby look at how much of a slut you are” Y/N snarls as she tugs him upward again so he can get a full view of his lower abdominal muscles and his cock that is leaking out pre-cum

The pleasureable feeling of him getting fucked and the degrading words from Y/N was just enough to send him into the edge that he even almost pulled out an aheago face right then and there.

And of course Y/N’s quick eyes didn’t miss that;

“Look at the mirror when you cum” she tells him roughly “Let me see that face you make”

So he does, one quick glance into his messy reflection he’s already cumming hard. He takes and jerks his cock out of sudden reflex all in as he maintained eye contact with himself through the mirror.

And fuck does the sight before him will live rent free on his mind from now on. 😂😂

3rd and Final Level was Y/N’s style of Exhibitionism and Public Sex.

Now in their relationship its no secret that kink is somehow Kuroo’s teritory.

Once his horny in public, Him and Y/N are known to be possibly hooking up in a nearby stall or bathroom or even the storage room if they’re inside the gymnasium.

That’s what all the team knew, It was always Kuroo who initiates the first move, But what they didn’t knew is half of those sexual activity was Y/N s idea.

(At least Kuroo has the decency to at least let them do it in a secluded place where he knows is private but at the same time the possibility of anyone walking in on them excited them both so honestly that was the whole point of it so it was definitely a win win situation)

But what Kuroo doesn’t know is how his girlfriend managed to get turned on in broad daylight and in the middle of the library during a study session

(And one thing about Y/N ; if she’s the first one to get turned on; Don’t even try to think of domming, Kuroo learned that the hard way)

So here she was eyeing him up and down with lusty eyes as she drew little circles around Kuroo’s thigh

“Y/N stop it” Kuroo snaps as he gently slaps the hand away.

“Want you” Y/N breathes unto the shell of his earlobe “You’re so sexy today”

Kuroo sighs in annoyance, he then dips his head down so he could give her a small kiss on the forehead

“Hold on a little longer baby” he reasures “When we’re done with the homework we can have a little detour inside one of the classrooms”

Y/N pouts at the idea of having to wait a little longer “But I want you now”

Kuroo gives her another kiss “I know. But they’re like 50 other people here with us”

At his statement Y/N gives a sly smirk.

And Kuroo was quick enough to piece the puzzles together “Baby dont you dare-“

But it was too late, Y/N reacted quickly on knocking few of her books down to the floor catching the attention of few other students from across their table.

She mumbles a quick apology before she kneels down to retrive them.

And by retrieve it was her kneeling infront of Kuroo’s legs to palm his bulge against the fabric of his pants.

“What are you doing?” Kuroo growls “Get up”

But Y/N wasn’t taking any hints and continued to fundle with his balls “You’re already hard babe” she comments “I know you like this. You like me blowing you out inside the library while they are peolple around us”

At the suggestion of blowing him, Kuroo’s breath hitched; “Y/N Im serious” he says “Not here”

Y/N lets out a sarcastic scoff “It will be fine” she assures as she zips Kuroo’s fly down to free his aching cock “Just dont make a sound”

Without another word, she envelops Kuroo’s long shaft into the depths of her mouth.

Kuroo lets out a soft whine as he takes a quick look at the surrounding around him, luckily no one has took noticed of them yet and he thanked the Nekoma high school library for having closed tables that covered their lower halves.

He then turns his gaze back to Y/N who was busy bobbing her head up and down on his cock.

He groans again as he feels her tongue move up to the base then around to his frenulum.

“Fuxk” he curses under his breath as he feels the building organsm ripping away through his stomach down to his shaft.

“baby I’m gonna cum” he whispers as he wraps a hand on her hair to guide her head up and down.

With another quick swish of Y/N’s tongue, Kuroo lets a harsh yelp as he involunarily thrust his hips into her mouth to ride out his orgasm.

Y/N pulls away with a loud pop as she gracefully wiped away the cum stains around her lips

“See?” She mused “that wasn’t so hard now was it?”

He fixes her a stern glare “oh fuxk you” he says as he took in the mess they made.

If they keep doing random stuffs like this; Kuroo’s gonna need a change of pants and possibly change schools. (His reputation as a volleyball captain would clearly be damaged) but when he tooks in the sighs of his girlfriend’s smirk and lewd face in front of him, Kuroo wouldn’t trade it for the whole world.

[wheres-sam]

I binge-watched the spn anime because of the brain rot

It’s bad except for the parts that are good, and it’s pretty to look at. Here’s a comprehensive list of pros and cons. Spoilers ahead!

Pros:

- more psychic kid backstories: Max (Nightmare), Lily (Darkness Calling), Jake (Loser)

- more psychic Sam

- more Azazel

- basically if you want more about the psychic/demon kids, watch the anime

- more young Winchesters

- the monsters, the superhuman abilities, the fight scenes, it all looks really cool animated. (But PSA it’s violent. It doesn’t shy away from blood and gore.)

- Sam and Jessica backstory

- more of the brothers being cute and funny together

- Missouri isn’t forgotten

- includes some Japanese legends/mythology

- the impala looks great in every scene. They did Baby good

- the “Supernatural” intro title

- the outro sketches of the boys hanging out with Baby

- Episodes adapted from the original show are different, but I like some of the changes? It’d be boring if it was an exact retelling and the visual medium wasn’t utilized. (I know I said spoilers before, but this is when they get detailed. If you wanna skip over, I’ll tell you where they STOP.)

Nightmare goes more into the abuse Max has suffered. Instead of locking Sam in a closet, Max sends Sam through the floor and covers the hole by breaking his bed in half, and it’s extremely sexy how Sam shoves the 2 halves apart with his mind. Later on Dean puts bandaids on Sam and they talk about demons loudly in front of a fast food intercom.

In My Time of Dying highlights the guilt Sam feels over Dean. In both the og and the anime John verbally blames Sam for not shooting Azazel, but where in the og Sam goes right on arguing, in the anime he reels back for a moment like he was slapped. Dean’s spirit touches Sam’s shoulder, and Sam knows immediately that it’s Dean. He doesn’t even question it. Instead of “Are you here?” it’s “I know you’re with me. I can feel it.” And I love that. Dean figures out right away he’s dealing with a reaper, and the reaper takes on the appearance of Mary to convince Dean to move on to the afterlife. Instead of a Ouija board, Sam uses a laptop to talk to Dean, and the first word Dean types is “Sammy!” Dean is so fond of his little brother and Sam is so baby.

Rising Son is an anime only episode, but it draws inspiration from John’s journal. Dean has a proper breakdown over his dad’s death and the possibility of having to kill Sam. Ms. Lyle, Sam’s favorite teacher who turns out to be possessed, is explored. John takes Dean hunting, and in the journal Dean hesitates to shoot a buck, and little Sam shoots it thinking it was endangering Dean. In the anime, Dean’s cornered by a moose and Sam makes it explode with his mind and it’s so !!! How little Sam’s first words are, “I’m glad you’re okay. It didn’t hurt you?” The boys are covered in blood and guts and Dean’s like 👁👄👁 “Why are you here? Did you do this?” And then Sam starts freaking out a little, the shock sets in. “I don’t know. I don’t know, honest.” And he’s staring at his hands, and I am a big fan of Sam showing superhuman signs as a kid. Like in the journal, Ms. Lyle tries to take Sam. She gives Sam the illusion of a choice to come with her or stay with Dean, and Sam chooses Dean. This ep is pretty much when John figures out Sam has demon blood. He kills another hunter that wants to kill Sam.

Crossroad is based on Crossroad Blues, and I love how the crossroads demon shows up. It’s hard to describe, but it’s so neat, like she’s walking underneath Dean in this mirror world, and then the mirror world takes over the regular world, so you really get this sense of otherworldly seclusion, existing outside of time.

What Is and Should Never Be shows Dean is a firefighter in his ‘Mary never died’ world, and Sam got to play soccer growing up like he wanted. The brothers hold each other after Dean is saved from the Djinn.

AHBL part 1. When Azazel shows Sam that he fed Sam his blood, Sam gags and slaps a hand over his mouth, and I like that reaction more than the live action. The psychic kids get to go more anime with their powers, and that’s a lot of fun. They don’t need weapons. Ava slams Sam into the brick side of a building and cuts him without touching him. Jake snaps Ava’s neck with one hand and then catches Sam in his arms. When Jake attacks Sam, there’s no gun or knife. He’s relying on his super strength, his fists. Sam throws his arms up to protect himself, and (accidentally?) pushes Jake back with his mind, and the collision creates a crater in the ground. Jake puts his fist through Sam’s chest to kill him. It’s brutal and it’s rad as fuck. These kids are terrifyingly powerful.

The Sam and Dean reunion before Sam is killed is not as emotional as the live action imo, but what the anime does intrigues me. Hurts in a different way. Because Sam is stunned after he uses telekinesis again, on Jake, and when he hears Dean behind him Sam freezes. He doesn’t look relieved to see Dean, but wary and weary. It’s Dean taking steps towards him, not the other way around, and it has to be because Sam doesn’t know if Dean saw him push Jake back. Sam doesn’t know how Dean’s going to respond to all this, to him, having powers that come from a demon, the demon, Azazel. Sam hasn’t had a chance to process anything. He’s scared. He’s tired. And the way the anime focuses on Sam’s eyes here. Gah. “Dean. Dean, I’m...” I’m sorry. I’m all right. I’m glad you’re okay. I’m a monster. There’s also this one shot between Sam and Azazel that sends me because of how anime it is.

AHBL part 2. I love how Sam brought back to life is animated, with all the color returning to his face and a light wind rustling his hair and his lips parting to indicate his soul returning to his body. Jake attacks Dean, and, a lot like how Sam activates telekinesis to save Dean from Max in Nightmare, Sam gets a burst of superhuman strength. He rips Jake’s arm off and tackles him to the ground and beats him to death, punches holes into his body, and it’s so savage and bloody and scary, and I love it. The Devil’s Gate opening looks so cool animated. Same goes for Dean shooting Azazel with the Colt.

Not to turn this into a meta post, but I also noticed how the last couple times Sam uses his powers they’re colored green-yellow, the same colors as Mary’s ghost when she reveals herself in the anime’s Home, and I don’t know if that’s intentional, but it’s neat how it draws a connection to Sam’s biological family instead of Azazel’s blood.

The Spirit of Vegas is like Bad Day at Black Rock, but Dean has all the bad luck instead, and it shows off the silly cartoony physics that make animation fun. The boys sleep outside and split a chunk of bread for dinner. Also this lil bit of Dean’s hair tied in a bow.

- (STOP) the brothers are pretty. I am not immune to animated Sam and Dean Winchester.

Cons:

- Jensen doesn’t voice Dean until the last 2 episodes

- The English dialogue is really bad sometimes. I wish I could’ve watched the sub, but I couldn’t figure out how to change the language

- Some character designs are really different from the live action, and maybe that’s petty, but if you’re gonna change the characters diversify them? Don’t just make them unrecognizable white people

- Missouri’s design as a stereotypical witch doctor is racist

- Gordon is replaced by some British guy named Jason?? Why

- There’s an LGBT character who is not accepted by her family and, while that bigotry is always shown to be negative and she dies the hero of the episode, she still dies ://

- In the English dub Lily’s gf is made into her roommate instead. Idk about the sub

- Bobby’s pretty much a totally different character

- Sam and Dean are OOC sometimes

- Dean’s hair usually looks darker than Sam’s and it drives me crazy

- The storytelling is, overall, not nearly as good as the live action

- The non-Japanese lore in some episodes makes no sense. Sometimes it’s just plain ridiculous?? Like there’s a giant robot made of cars and scrap metal controlled by a demon? ? I wish I was making this up

- Meg’s role is severely reduced

- No Harvelles or Roadhouse

- Shadows are overused, but maybe that’s because the og show is so dark?

- I don’t mind the art style. I like the aesthetic, but I wish it was a little more expressive. It doesn’t do Sam’s puppy eyes justice.

- AZAZEL’S SHADOW?? PROPORTIONS?? PEA SIZED HEAD

- Idk why they mashed season 1 and 2 together? The story feels rushed

- there’s not as much chemistry between Sam and Dean, but that’s a given without J2 on screen

- Nobody tells you!! That there’s scenes after the credits!! And some of them are important! Why are important scenes after the credits??

The anime would not be good on its own, without the heart and depth the live action brings, but it works as supplementary material you can cherry pick from. I would watch more if there were more episodes.

It hasn’t turned me off from wanting an spn anime. I’d like to see it continued or redone, with updated animation and better scripts. There’s a lot of potential in exploring more about the psychic kids and Sam’s powers, storylines that were cut short in the og show. Animation is a great medium for showing off the supernatural, getting creative and creepier with the designs, dramatic with the fight scenes, without having to worry about bad CGI. I don’t want a live action reboot, but I think a redone animated series could be a lot of fun! (As long as it’s not an excuse to make any romantic ships take over. SPN is a platonic love story, and I like it that way.)

If you made it to the end here and are interested in watching the spn anime, you can watch it for free on the CW Seed app! You can probably stream it elsewhere, but idk where!

[shannygoatgruff]

Only Fan(s) - A Thriller

Genre: Thriller

Pairing: Modern Ivar/OC

Warning: Language, sex, stalking, obsession, kidnapping, sexual assault

Rating: MA+18

Summary: Sometimes OnlyFans subscribers want a little more than internet pictures. Sometimes they want to be your ONLY fan…

Header by: @flowers-in-your-hayr

Thanks to @xbellaxcarolinax for being my beta.

Disclaimer: This story will deal with some topics that might be a little uncomfortable for some people. As always, I’ll try to tackle the hard stuff as tactfully as possible.

a/n: I wrote this months ago and let it sit on the shelf. I’m finally ready to dust it off and give it another go...so let’s see what it do...

Part iii - Trifecta

Torren Sykes hadn’t lived what anyone would consider an exciting life. In fact, in her twenty-three years, she had only just left her mom’s double-wide trailer in East Bumble Fuck less than a year ago. Not quite 365 days later, she still didn’t have a pot to piss in, nor a window to throw it out of.

Truthfully, she usually didn’t know where she would be getting her next meal - that sort of thing wasn’t really a big deal to her. She actually liked the mystery of it all. There was something undeniably sexy about not knowing what the day would bring - who she would run into, or have to take something off of to survive. If someone else had to get hurt so she could make it through another day, such was life. She’d won. Those other people just needed to be better at playing the fucking game, plain and simple. 

Besides, pulling a caper or two kept her on her toes. She learned how to pull off the best of them from her mother. It’s not like adulting was one of Leslie’s strong suits. 

If only her mother had been more like her Me-Maw, now that woman was a saint. For reasons that Torren never cared to ask, she lived with her Me-Maw until she was five years old.  Leslie would periodically visit her to drop off the obligatory present on Christmas or her birthday if that bitch remembered. Not that they were ever good presents – just some cheap ass, unwrapped items she happened to pick up at the dollar store. Torren couldn't remember a gift that she had received wasn't still in the plastic bag with the receipt in it.

Cheap, whore.

Just once she would have liked a real baby doll from Toys-R-Us, instead of those cheap, hard, plastic dolls that the hand molds weren't cut out evenly, and the jagged edges cut the shit out of her face when she tried to sleep with it. But, that was Leslie. Torren didn't choose her; Leslie sure as shit didn't choose her daughter.

It became painfully clear to Torren that her mother didn’t want anything to do with her after her Me-Maw died. Unfortunately, she found herself as her mother’s unwitting roommate at a very young age, forcing the girl to spend a lot of time alone. 

By the time she turned nine, Torren was convinced that her mother was a prostitute and she was a trick baby. It was the only explanation she could come up with seeing as how her mother never worked but always had enough money to pay the rent, keep the lights on, and have plenty of booze, chips, and hot dogs in the fridge. 

Not that Torren had many other life experiences with a working parent to compare her situation to, but it just seemed pretty fucking difficult to have a job if one were passed out drunk all the fucking time. Besides, who had time to work when during your waking hours you were spending them with one of your many, many boyfriends? 

Torren used to wonder if one of the multitudes of men that would traipse in and out of that trailer were her father - but the more she got to know what type of person Leslie was, the more she realized that whoever that guy was, had gotten the hell out of dodge. 

Lucky son-of-a-bitch. 

But for all of Leslie’s flaws, she did manage to impart her three philosophies of life onto her daughter - the three things that Torren still lived by to this day. It was the least she could do. God knows that whore sure as fuck didn’t do anything else for her.

Mama’s Life Lessons #1 - There is no such thing as too much black eyeliner

As trivial as it sounded, it proved to be a precious lesson. Shortly after she had moved into the trailer, Leslie had forced Torren to sit on the bed and watch as she got ready for another one of her "dates". She had told the little girl that beautiful eyes were the one good gene that ran in their family. “You got to learn how to work ‘em,” Leslie exhaled a long plume of smoke at her reflection in the vanity mirror, “You listenin'? This's important. This right here," she held up the black liner pencil, “is gonna be your best friend.”

Of course, Torren had no idea what she meant. How was a pencil going to her friend? She didn’t really care so much as what her mother was saying to her at the moment, it was more of the fact that she was actually talking to her that made Torren hang on to every word. 

That’s why she picked up the black liner pencil from her mother's cluttered vanity table and leaned over to look in the mirror. She tried tracing her bottom lid, the way her mother had done, but at six it was a little easier said than done. She had just learned how to color inside the lines with a fat crayon; mastering the art of applying liner would have to wait a few more years. 

Leslie, however, was not willing to wait that long, "What the hell's amatta wit'chu, Dumbass? You doin' it all wrong," she said snatching the pencil from the girl's hand. Grabbing Torren roughly by the chin she said, "Gotta teach you every goddamn thing. Hold still." She mumbled more curses and said something about her good-for-nothing mother not teaching her brat anything useful.

By the time she had finished cursing her name, Leslie roughly turned her daughter's head toward the mirror, "Yeah you got those eyes. Now, learn to use ‘em.” Leslie dropped the pencil onto the vanity before picking up her drink and shooing Torren away. 

That was the day that Drew Watkins bought her an ice cream. It had to be the eyeliner. It was a true fact, not just another one of her mother's drunken theories. Eyeliner and her eyes...she didn’t know how she used them, but they worked.

From that day on Torren opted to never step foot outside without heavy black liner again. 

Mama’s Life Lessons #2 - As long as there are men around that want to fuck you, you will never need to work

It wasn’t like she going to go out and get a real job. She wasn’t raised with much of a work ethic. She was too young to remember if her Me-Maw worked and what she gathered from her mother was that there would always be men around to take care of her. 

Leslie told her that she didn’t need to work because working a man was a full-time job. If she were doing that right, she wouldn’t have time for a fucking 9-5. It didn’t matter if he was in a relationship, gay, or the fucking Pope. As long as he a dick and she could bend over, and her eyes were done, her rent was as good as paid. 

If she wanted more than just the basic bills paid, she would have to rethink what all she was willing to do - but just make sure she didn’t do too much otherwise she couldn’t guarantee a steady paycheck every week.

This sage advice didn’t make much sense to 8-year-old Torren, but as the years progressed she started to work it into one of her life’s mottos. She would never want for anything. She could always rely on the kindness of strangers and when that got to be too boring, she could always take it, just to spice things up a bit.  

Mama’s Life Lessons #3 - If you want something do whatever it takes to make sure you get it

As a child that grew up with the television as a babysitter, Torren Sykes knew that she was destined to love Ivar “Lothbrok” Ragnarsson since she was a little girl. Ever since that day she turned on the TV and saw this adorable blue-eyed boy drawing Mickey Mouse ears saying, “I’m Ivar Lothbrok and you’re watching the Disney Channel,” she knew that he had to be hers. 

He was co-starring on a show called The Baker Boys, about three foster kids, who had come to live with a family that owned a bakery. Ivar’s character was named Simon Baker - a mischievous kid that lived with his grandmother until she died and never felt like he fit in with this cookie-cutter family. 

His life was just like hers - minus the cookie-cutter family that loved him and all. She was actually with more of an alcoholic whore that didn’t give a shit if she lived or died, and not pulling stunts in a bakery with flour and messing up orders like him, but she still saw them as kindred spirits. 

When the show got canceled she was devastated. How dare the world try to keep her from her man? Didn’t they understand this was love? Didn’t those people at Disneyland know that he was the only person in the world that understood her?

As if on queue, she happened to find the Season 2 DVD box-set at the library one afternoon. Her mother had kicked her out of the trailer because she had a date and couldn’t have the dumbass child around fucking things up for her. Torren had nothing else to do - at 11-years-old, she had no money, and nowhere to go. At least the library was air-conditioned. 

She wanted that box-set. Slipping it into her backpack unnoticed was the easy part. Trying to get it past the alarms would be harder. She watched for a while, paying particular attention to the way the check-out system worked. 

When the librarians changed shifts, she let a smile cross her lips as she picked a few random books from the shelves. 

Her beautiful eyes went as big as saucers when the alarm buzzed, and the young male librarian looked down at her, still clutching the large reference book to her check. Carefully she had stepped across to the other side of the alarm sensor waiting to collect the books she was checking out.

“I’m sorry, you can’t check out reference books,” the young man said, blinking his hazel eyes at Torren, the corner of his lip tugging into a smile.

She let a pout fall on her lips as she lowered her large eyes down to the book in her arms, “Oh...sorry.” She handed the book back, “I didn’t realize I still had it.” And like that, she walked out of the library with her prize.

She had stolen for Ivar...now if that wasn’t love what was?

The only thing that had threatened their love through the years is when Ivar got married. It damn near broke Torren’s heart. How could he be so cruel? She didn’t give a fuck that the marriage was short-lived. She even understood why he had to do it. He had gotten that bitch pregnant, and he didn’t have much choice. But, he cut her deep. 

Didn’t he know how much she loved him? Didn’t he know that she stuck by him when he had joined 6cess and had seen him in concert 3 times? She still had the autographed photo of the two of them from the signing at Spring Hills Mall - when she was wearing that blue midriff cardigan and ripped jeans and he had his arm around her. That shirt brought out the color in his eyes. She even wore Happy, which he said was his favorite perfume. She thought it smelled like Comet, but she stole a bottle of it from Macy’s right before the photo-op to smell good for him. 

And he went and pulled this shit?

Besides, Johnny Law said that she was still too young for him and that he could get arrested for being with her. She knew that he had to pretend to have a normal life so that no one would know about their love affair. She was just understanding like that. It gave her time to grow up a little more so that when they could he be together, the law wouldn't be standing in their way. She really didn't give a fuck, but she suspected he did. Why else hadn't he come for her?

Torren didn’t even like their music. She wasn’t a boyband kind of girl, but for him, she would make the exception. She was more of the gangsta rap or heavy metal type girl. But if Ivar was serenading her, she’d listen to sappy, wrist-slitting, emo, shit rock all fucking day long, because she loved him. 

She hated that he had gotten that whore pregnant, too. She understood that he had to pretend that they had a normal marriage. She knew that when he was fucking that bitch, he was really imagining it was her. The years apart had made him a master at hiding his true feelings for her. He couldn't give anyone cause for suspicion. If he let on the truth he could risk losing everything…his house, cars, job, and his kid. That whore was trying to keep them apart. But, she was just a small obstacle that posed no real threat to Torren.

She did not doubt that she would be his daughter's new mommy. The kid would probably be sad at first that she wouldn't be with that other woman like Torren had been when her grandmother died. But, the kid would get used to it. Torren was going to be a whole hell of a lot better at being a mom than her piece of shit mother was to her. That was for damn sure. She was going to teach her stepdaughter all about eyeliner, and how to dye her hair. 

She was going to teach her what party clothes every woman should have in her wardrobe and how to get a man to do whatever she wanted by just batting her eyes at him. She would even share her secrets on what pills to mix and what dosages to give for submission, making a man catatonic, and if she was really good, she'd teach what to put in a drink to kill someone. Hell, she even planned on giving the child her most discrete drug contacts. That would of course have to wait until she was older – at least 13. She was going to be such a good mommy. 

Ivar's daughter was going to love Torren as much as Torren loved him. They were going to be the perfect family.

Torren was as hopelessly devoted to Ivar as he was to her. He had waited for her to become legal. Just months before she was old enough to legally consent to sex, and get married without parental permission, his marriage started falling apart. She knew that Ivar was trying to make a clean break from his wife, and get his daughter used to the idea of them being apart before he could come home to her. 

Torren had been thoughtful and respectful enough to give him that space to make sure everything was right before she stepped into the role of the new Mrs. Lothbrok. He had to test the waters, make sure that she still wanted him as much as he wanted her. He had to get back into the swing of things…have sex constantly to make sure he could keep up with her. She knew that "the prude" wasn't doing it nearly as often as he needed to - why else would he have an Only Fans page?

Torren was the only one that could feed his appetite, and he hers.

Now, they were both finally ready. She was mature and developed. She knew what she needed, and it was him. He had his fun before her, but now he was auditioning again and getting everything back on track for them. He had a great relationship with his daughter and his dumb ass ex-wife finally understood that their relationship was a fling that went too far.

His face told her everything that her heart already knew. He loved her. 

Why else would be looking at her like that? She could feel herself blush when he smiled on Instagram like that into them. Then he gave her that smile. That was her smile; the one that he reserved for her during their private times. Yet, there he was doing it in front of an audience of millions, and he didn't care who saw it. He had to let her know that it was time for her to come home. It was like a sleeper cell being awakened.

She didn't have a choice. She did what any other woman in her position would do. She packed a bag, threw it in the car she stole a few days before and drove. Armed with her trifecta of knowledge and determination, she prepared to face the obstacles that were bound to get in her way. There was nothing that was going to stop her from getting her man.

Nothing.

Part ii || Part iv

Tags: @ideagarden-blog1​  @youbloodymadgenius​ @xbellaxcarolinax​ @a-mess-of-fandoms​ @didiintheblog​ @conaionaru​ @peachyboneless​ @flowers-in-your-hayr @heavenly1927​ @zuxiezendler @waiting4inspiration​ @saldelys @didiintheblog​  @revolution-starter​

[misstvirus]

** RESIDENT EVIL VILLAGE SPOILERS **

I decided to put this on tumblr so I could hide spoilers from Twitter and full explain why I gave Resident Evil 8 the score 5/10

These are my opinions and my personal review of Resident Evil Village. Everyone is entitled to their opinions and I am in no way saying that anyone’s experiences or enjoyment of the game are invalid.

Please excuse me - I had a hard time trying to put my thoughts in order. This is a game summary and commentary after the first few paragraphs.

I first discuss the graphics, music, etc but it turns into me basically explaining the plot so I could express my dismay at the end. Skip to the last few paragraphs to read my mental nerdy breakdown.

The gameplay, graphics and mechanics are perfect. Each installment since of series since Resident Evil 7 - has improved. The game mechanics while in combat such as switching weapons, healing and guarding are smooth, it’s damn near perfect. The Duke brought a lot of nostalgia and memories of Resident Evil 4’s Merchant. I enjoyed being able to interact to upgrade weapons, buy supplies and sell treasures. The games over all aesthetic, atmosphere and attention to detail. Each location was beautiful and you can see the love, sweat and dedication put into the game. The music is there, it is eerie at times but it’s not as memorable as other installments of the game. Resident Evil 7 had its featured title song, “Go Tell Aunt Rhody” - Resident Evil Village’s “Yearning for Dark Shadows” was not as heavily featured and did not get the hype like it’s predecessor.

Resident Evil Village had a good story (please note this is my thought strictly AS A REVITALIZED RE GAME BEFORE THE CHRIS REDFIELD SEGMENT). The story starts by continuing with Ethan and Mia Winters after the events of Resident Evil 7. I knew Capcom moved in a different direction and accepted that as long time RE Junkie that although it’s from the same universe - they would not be the same type of games. Chris Redfield’s end game appearance in RE7 and a few Easter eggs were the only MAIN (not DLC content) links to the previous RE installments. The new set of villains and interesting tie-ins to village folklore story was a great way to foreshadow the events to come. The village and story behind Mother Miranda and her reasoning for creating the big baddies because wanting to bring back her dead child were good and had this been a stand alone or continuation WITHOUT TYING THE GAME INTO THE RE UNIVERSE I would have liked it fully.

The game starts with Ethan and Mia Winters, a new baby, Rose and are Having marital issues not dealing with Louisiana/RE7 events and Chris Redfield shows up and kills “Mia”. Chris’s team takes the baby and Ethan and knocks him out. When Ethan wakes up in wreckage of a van, without his baby and dead drivers. As Ethan wanders into the woods and makes his way to the village. He discovers something is killing the people and meets up with a group of people who worship Mother Miranda and quickly die by monsters. These monsters are called “lycans” who are products/monsters of the Cadou mold similar/same thing in RE7. Ethan finds himself apart of weird meeting of all five villains - who stole baby Rose and want do some weird shit.

Tada! Ethan has escaped and ends up in Lady Alcina Dimitrescu or “Tall Lady” “Vampire Mommy” castle. You are confronted by her and her three daughters Bela, Cassandra and Daniela.

Let me step in to rustle the jimmies and ruffle the feathers of the Lady D hype group. What you see in the previews is what you get. No more, no less! There is nothing special and there are no redeeming qualities or mentions past notes in game files of Lady D outside your castle encounter. The story isn’t based around her, she’s just a tiny part in a larger story plot 1 of 5 villains/baddies. The daughters are overly sexual and have the most cringe worthy dialog. I love me some sexy characters and villains but the daughters were just so cringe. They could’ve AMPED up the horror with them and created a stronger scare factor but dropped the fucking ball. They were not creepy or scary and brought nothing to the story with delivering lines about wanting to “consume Ethan’s manflesh” “not stale as mother said - tastes so good.” Also to be noted they were not actually vampires but bioweapons. Lady D being a good result to the mold “Cadou” and the daughters the result of the Cadou and mixing of insects. You kill the daughters, get chased by Lady D who eventually mutates into a flying tentacle bat-dragon and it’s done, she gone. Sorry to fuckboys who thought she was bigger player.

After Ethan beats Lady D, he grabs a yellow flask that’s apparently filled with the juice and parts of baby Rose - and each of villains has one of these baby-juice boxes. Ethan will have to collect them all to be able to put Rose back together.

Next visit is House Beneviento. This was the scariest of all five villains and village locations in my review of the game. It reminded me of a Silent Hill installment less a Resident Evil installment - the use of light, sound and overall paranormal factor did bring in a successful horrifying portion of the game . The mutated baby chase was comical yet creepy. You have to hide to escape it and you ended up playing hide and seek with possessed dolls. The entirety of House Beneviento will definitely give you an uneasy feeling. Donna, the woman controlling a doll named Angie is another baddie who you later learn is mentally unstable and uses her abilities to manipulate plants - to cause hallucinations to create the creepy doll house scenario. (Oof it’s hard for me to stay on track). Part 2 of 4 of Baby Rose - which yes it what your game objective says.

Next Moreau, a mutated fish man - gives Ethan the Resident Evil 4 and Resident Evil 5 game play feel - having to complete actions while some oversized bioweapon is looming around and can take you out with a misstep, like falling in the water or moving too slowly. Moreau did not gain any abilities with the Cadou mold, basically his body wasn’t compatible and he just mutates uncontrollably. Mentally slow, weak and kind of a sad story. Ethan runs into Chris Redfield who tells him to stay out of it and than runs away. Ethans fights Moreau and gets another baby juice jar.

Next Ethan faces off and explores a laboratory with Karl Heisenberg - a bioweapon who can manipulate metal (think a less cool and weakly motivated Magneto). He one of the last big baddies - and motivated by being essentially rejected by Mother Miranda. He is the most stable reaction to the Cadou mold. Before Ethan and Heisenberg face off - Chris Redfield comes in - to reveal he was not the bad guy Ethan thought in the beginning of the game. Mia wasn’t Mia but in fact Mother Miranda in disguise- who was attempting to steal the baby Rose which she ended up doing anyway because Chris’s team wrecked with the baby. At this point I’m say FINE WHATEVER, I guess this works

Chris goes into kill Mother Miranda, we the audience discover the BSAA is now not what is used to be. Chris isn’t affiliating with them and his team hides away from them as they attack. BSAA gets struck down attempting to kill Mother Miranda’s mutation - a megacyte squishy organ (that’s keeping her alive and immortal). Chris puts a massive bomb on big Miranda squishy thing and discovers that Lady Dimitrescu, Karl Heisenberg, Moreau and Donna Beneviento are all attempts to create a perfect vessel to bring back her own dead child Eva, who died in 1912 of the Spanish flu. It is revealed Eveline, the RE7 little girl mold baddie wasn’t another failed attempt. Miranda has turned baby Rose into baby juice to use with the Cadou mold in a ceremony to bring her dead child back.

AND drum roll please - we find out Ozwell Spencer, founder of Umbrella and the progenitor virus the big Daddy of it all was in cahoots with Miranda at some point in his youth and supported her crazy ass research but had his own stuff going on. WHY?! WHO KNOWS? NOT ME! WHY WAS THIS PUT IN THE GAME. To piss me off? Yes. Chris has also discovered Mia is still alive in jail cell for what reason? who knows? And Mia reveals that Ethan is special!

Cue black screen, Ethan awakes to see to Eveline - the mold baddie from RE7. Eveline explains - that Ethan has been dead and died back during the events of RE7. Jack Baker had killed him and dragged him into the house. So he was dead the entirety of RE7 - That explains why Ethan is constantly dismembered, beaten and walking the mold keeps him alive. Ethan will not survive much longer because his missing heart but is determined to bring back his baby. Weakly he carries himself to fight Mother Miranda with Chris. Mother Miranda performs her ceremony with the baby juice boxes and out comes not Eva (her baby) but Ethan’s baby Rose.

They fight and Ethan kills Miranda, carrying Rose off to Chris but that missing heart is the end of Ethan so he takes the trigger for the squishy bomb and pushes Chris away and sacrifices himself for his daughter. Chris boards a helicopter with Mia and baby and the body of a BSAA solider. Ethan blows himself and the Miranda squishy up. The BSAA soldier turns out to be a bioweapon and Mia is distraught at Ethan being for reals dead and Chris is annoyed and directs the pilot for BSAA Europe HQ. Credits Roll, now we see Adult Rose (baby juice reborn as mold human) visiting her Dads grave it’s apparent Chris has been training her and her bodyguard (?) pulls up and they argue and she goes all combative on him. It’s implied she’s not normal since she was DUH she was turned into baby juice and put back together with Cadou mold they drive off - apparently you can see a ghostly Ethan in photo mode - I don’t know I don’t give AF enough about The Winters family and this game at this point

The End

5/10 - Story (read below)

9/10 - Everything else

- Katie’s Dismay and Final Review and Rating-

Graphics: 9/10

Setting: 8/10

Music: 6/10

Game Mechanics: 10/10

Story: (pre Chris Redfield tie in): 7/10

Story: (post Chris Redfield) 4/10

As a modern game, it was great, exceptional. It checks all the classic horror boxes but isn’t the scariest entry, Resident Evil 7 was a much more scary game. The story is why my rating is slow and it’s based on my biases and years of following the story.

STOP! Don’t want to hear my angry ranting? SKIP THE REST

THE ANGER OF a grown ass Resident Evil Fan.

They should’ve omitted the entire BSAA story and BSAA bioweapon-man and not included those notes about Spencer and Umbrella. This game was solid as a next installment and sequel to Resident Evil 7 until they decided they wanted to tie the original Resident Evil storylines into the new story.

When Capcom decided to breakdown and rebuild the franchise, it was a blow because so many storylines were unfinished. I understand they needed to keep evolving and I was blown away by the result. RE7 was not and did not feel like an old RE Game but it was new and it brought back the horror and fear the RE Games early installments were known for. A new RE for a new generation!

But TO ME PERSONALLY - The positive thoughts and opinions I had of RE7 are sullied by Resident Evil Village. Why try to tie it in as an after thought after such a successful overhaul? It’s a slap in the face! Capcom has created some of the best characters in video game stories just to say fuck them for this overhaul but WAIT WE REALLY LIKE CHRIS AND THE BSAA STORY LINE LET’S BRING IN THE OLD STORY NOW.

Fucking NO.

I don’t know what’s worse reading that fucking note from Spencer or the BSAA bullshit.

So now one has to say... WHAT happened to all of the characters who worked for BSAA or worked with affiliates of the BSAA? Chris goes on his own way - Now what? What happened??? There’s nothing explaining what happened between RE5 and RE6 to RE7! They failed to create that bridge. If they had established ANYTHING in RE7 it would be easier for me to swallow.

If you want to overhaul and change the series FINE but don’t back peddle now. Don’t try to throw it the last few minutes of the game with some lazy writing and a vague cliff hanger just leaving it like this.

And of course one could think - “maybe they will make a new game, maybe another sequel?”..... BUT HAVE Y’ALL seen what’s happened at the end of every RE game since RE4???? We are finally getting a Netflix series in 2021 to fill the time after RE4!!! That was 16 YEARS ago! So how can crazy ass fans like myself really expect them to fix the plot holes?!

My theory is that - in between RE7 and RE village They were working on the RE2 Remake and the RE3 Remake and it was if someone at Capcom finally asked - “If all these new RE players are going to play RE village - don’t we need a way to connect these stories????”

And someone jumped up in a conference room and replied. “FUCK IT LETS JUST TIE IN SPENCER AND THE BSAA IN THE LAST 10 MINUTES!”

I have cried, laughed and loved these games my entire life. Some of my major life events happened because of this series! I have followed every game, collected merchandise, gotten tattoos and met the most amazing people because our mural obsession over this series. That’s why it hurts me that’s why I’m tear it apart so viciously and also why I keep playing. There’s always hope that someone will fix the plot holes and finish the stories that lured in the older RE fans and I will always hold Capcom to a high standard and expect them to do right by the fans. I’m not speaking for ALL older RE Fans or ALL fans and I’m definitely not gatekeeping the fandom. This is how I feel - I’m grateful there is a new generation breathing life into RE but I’m screaming a warning - BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS - there’s a strong chance your favorite characters new or old aren’t going to get an ending or be reduced to a brief snippet in a file you may not not find.

ANYWAYS

Happy to those who loved it, condolences to those who are pissed off like myself

I’m annoyed but I’ll power through!

Happy 25th Anniversary to my longest obsession!

RE Verse coming in the summer, the Netflix series and the remake Live Action Movies.

HERE’S TO RESIDENT EVIL!

[sparkles-and-trash]

My fav 3 versions/interpretations of South Park characters thing!

I’m so sorry this took much longer than anticipated, I was gonna do it Friday but then I had a panic attack for the first time in forever because my CFS have been real bad lately and I was in such bad shape my BFF had to come and smack me back to life, and Sunday was suddenly full on breakdown day, a bad BPD episode and yeah, it was rough, but today I’m doing better and I realize nobody really cares about my personal issues lol but I just have a need to excuse myself here and I realize that’s kinda dumb but here we are ANYWAYS I hope these are okay, and that these are in no way the RIGHT interpretations, just my personal favorites! 

Kyle:

suggested by the wonderful  @otherluces <3

#1 

I’m not gonna lie, I love nerdy, preppy Kyle. Sweater-vests, collard shirts, doesn’t realize how attractive he is Kyle, oblivious to people having crushes on him Kyle, set on Harvard to become a lawyer and fight for justice and argue for a living, yanno? 

#2 

I also really like the more dorky and nerdy Kyle, where he has really niché interests that he gets totally invested in and talks about 24/7, loves reading and studying, but not just to get good results, but because he genuinly enjoys it.

#3

The last version I can think of with him, is the tall, lanky and kinda hard to read Kyle. He keeps a lot of his feelings to himself, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. He plays basketball, he’s good at it too, and while he does well in school and everyone expects him to go into law, he has some totally different dream he keeps to himself for now. He kinda perks up a bit when in smaller crowds, esp with his cloest friends, but he still carries a lot of secrets that some time needs to come out.

Tweek:

suggested by my new fren  @soft-craig-and-tweek ^^

I like Tweek in so many ways these were hard to pick, but I’mma try to narrow it down a bit and not go totally off haha

#1

I actually quite enjoy the jagged, tired Tweek, the one who with help from friends and family manage to get off the meth his parents feed him secretly, but who still struggle with withdrawal, dark bags under his eyes, kinda pale and with sharp features, but he’s still a sweet and kind boy, a boy who wants to make the right choices and change the world to a better place, but who still has a darkness he carries, and the fact that he never gives up that fight is what makes him so special 

#2

and okay I have to be honest, I do love myself some sunshine boy Tweek. This Tweek still has issues, he is maybe even more anxious than the last one, but he’s also just as vibrant and energetic as he is anxious! He is an artist, he paints with bright colors, he composes beautiful, hopeful melodies, he feels everything so much,  and he is a contagious and exciting person to be around. Cannot dress for the life of him. So much mis-match and odd outfits, but it kinda works? 

#3

The last one I’m gonna mention for this wonderful boy, is the more alternative Tweek. He writes obscure poetry, he watches too many conspiracy theory videos on youtube, he draws the monsters in his mind, and he writes the scariest, most hauntingly beautiful stories on the internet, and people online love him. He has no idea how to deal with being popular in that sense, because irl he is the type to not belong to a certain friend group, but he does go along well with most people on a surface level. Dark circles, shaky hands, crooked and cute smiles, baggy t-shirts and ripped jeans. When he first opens up to someone, he really, really does, and he will always support and be there for you. If you deserve it, that is. 

Nichole: 

also suggested by  @soft-craig-and-tweek <3 

#1

I love nerdy Nichole who isn’t afraid to show it! Maybe she’s a streamer or youtube gamer even, I can def see her writing fanfiction, and being hella good at it too! Makes quite a name for herself online, and hangs out with the boys a lot irl, has game nights with the boys from Board Girls (even Cartman sometimes), is funny in a sarcastic way, but never mean. 

#2

Popular girl Nichole is also a favorite for me, but not in the “classical” sense. I imagine her to be a sporty, maybe on both the basket and volleyball team, captain for the basket one, she’s a born leader, she’s kind and fair, but can also be strict, and people always trust her to be honest and true.  

#3

Artsy Nichole!! I imagine her in bright yellow dresses and with her hair flowing and free, with flowers in her hair, freckles on her face, a big, genuine smile, a loud laughter that is so contagious, she loves spending time with Jimmy because they have a very similar humor, and she’s a theater kid, she sings like an angel and can act, oh boy can she act, she can make anyone laugh or cry in just a blink of an eye, she’s just a human sun-ray and I love her a lot 

Butters: 

suggested by @kinguidamundo, thank you so much!! 

#1

I love edgy Butters soooo much??? Like, he’s still a kind and bright boy, but he can also stand up for himself a lot more, he likes fashion a lot, he gets tattoos and piercings, he explores tons of ways to express himself, he’s a yes-dude, he goes out on dates a lot, but isn’t ready for a “real” relationship yet, but he enjoys meeting people and testing out himself around different types of people! Also he is a bi icon change my mind jk u can’t 

#2

I have a weak spot for the kind of soft and timid looking Butters too, who wears pastel colors and have big, innocent eyes, he is genuine and kind, but he carries something darker inside, something he isn’t sure how to deal with, something that scares him, but in reality it’s just normal feelings, anger, resentment and fear, but he’s lived his life ignoring them so much they catch him off guard at times. He learns to live with them slowly, and he does so with lots of help and patience from friends and loved ones. 

#3

Okay, last one, totally self-indulging here, but yeah, happy sunflower boy is also a big favorite. He is more confident than the previous version, but in a gullible way if that makes any sense? He believes the best in people, and if he is proven wrong, he’s willing to try to help them become better people, if they want to or not! This is honestly the version I love most with Stan, Butters being the ray of sunshine in Stan’s life and Stan being the realism to keep Butters grounded and them both supporting each other so much? Fuck yeah that’s the good stuff. 

Clyde:

suggested by @horrorpumpkin, ty sm friend! <3 

#1

Himbo Clyde!!! Jock dude who genuinely loves sports, he’s a team player, and while he might not be super intellectual, he is very socially smart, he is kind and empathic, he is funny and likable, he always tries his best to make everyone feel included, and while he loves chicks a lot, and is a sexual dude, he does it with nothing but respect and admiration for the ladies! 

#2

Bisexual disaster Clydeeee <3 obv being bi isn’t a personality trait, but he is very open about it, he wants to be confident and good at flirting, but goddamn is he a MESS! He’s also a huge supporter of every single relationship his friends is in, he loves love, in all shapes and forms, he is emotional and kind and awkward in an endearing way. 

#3

Can’t leave out crybaby Clyde, can we now? He’s a bit of an awkward bean as well, but he owns it a bit more. He is kinda like a puppy, a cute, excitable and emotional puppy who loves his friends, video games and lazy movie nights, kinda chubby, he loves baking and does it a lot with Tweek, he is also a huge nerd for Harry Potter and totally geek out over it with Kyle and Nichole sdhlksgdhl

Kenny: 

suggested by anon! 

#1

First up I guess I should put my high school AU Kenny. I know it’s controversial, but I imagine this Kenny to be more on the quiet side, but not really in a shy way. He’s just a bit of an observer who doesn’t speak unless he really sees fit, and while he still has his crude humor and is kinda rumored to be sleeping around a lot, he actually struggle with intimacy issues. He never imagined them to include sexual stuff, but turns out they do, and balancing being sexually open and curious and having these issues ain’t easy on the boy, let me tell you that. 

#2

This one is kinda heavily inspired by Luces, but I love him as kind and loyal, but also a bit more chatty and charming, but not for his own gain. He wants others to feel good about themselves, in social settings, his friends, during sexy times, he is selfless and good, but he is also living for the moment, he is a likable and wonderful guy, but he does still only REALLY open up emotionally to people he really trusts. Not traditionally attractive, but interesting looking in a way. Lots of freckles, bit of buck teeth with a big gap between his front teeth, messy kinda curly hair, long straight nose. Always wears baggy hoodies and worn out jeans, shrugs and gives that lopsided smile when people ask him about anything personal.

#3

Mysterious Kennyyyy. You think you know him, everyone does, but in reality, very few have seen the real him. He likes people, and he likes to help them, he’s always down to listen to people’s problems and help them, he wants to inspire kids like himself to never give up and think there’s only one path for them, because he knows there is not. Volunteers at the animal shelter with Stan, works part time at Tweek Bro’s and is good buddies with Tweek. Had a early sexual debut, slept around a bit and got his heart broken unexpectedly when he was a Freshman, so there are some walls there now, but he ain’t usually one to turn down someone who’s up for it and whom with he has good chemistry either. 

[judylicious]

“I’m glad we both have found back to you.”

Alan Rubin x fem!Reader (chapter three)

Word Count: 1,950

Fandom: Blues Brothers

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Blues Brothers characters or movies.

Warnings: swearing, age gap, jealousy and slight smut

Summary: You met a handsome musician and his band, including a surprise form your past.

chapter 1

chapter 2

chapter 4

It was the day of Kelsey’s very first Blues Brothers concert. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror taking care of her make-up. She usually wasn’t the type of girl that applied much but for tonights special occasion she chose to add some eye shadow and a soft lip gloss to her regular make-up which involved a foundation, mascara, some light powder and doing her eyebrows. The girl tied up her hair in a bun and pulled out one curly strand  at each side of her face. She picked another dress from her wardrobe, this time it was a dark red one with dark blue flowers on it, matching well to her blonde hair. She put on her black boots again, which she loved above all, given to her as a birthday present by her mum and threw on one of her black leather jackets.

She entered the concert hall and was surprised how big it was. This is a fucking barn. I didn’t think they would fill it. But they did, most seats were already taken. She was lucky to find a single empty seat on the far left edge, second row.

The show opener was “I Can’t Turn You Loose” and Jake and Elwood did a grant entry, Elwood with his briefcase and his harp in it and Jake was doing incredible flic-flacs across the entire stage. They played a great choice of songs with solos for the sax, the guitars, trombone, the horn, piano and harmonica, bringing out every member of the band, suiting Jake’s rough voice very well. She couldn’t resist staring at Mr. Fabulous during his stunning solo in the Peter Gunn theme. He looked hot killing those high notes with his sensuous chiseled lips and she missed his hazel eyes which were covered by the dark sunglasses everyone was wearing during concerts. Her staring of course hadn’t gone unnoticed by the trumpet player and as soon as the song came to an end he gave the girl his biggest and warmest smile, clearly happy to see her in the crowd. It wasn’t that easy staying focused on Alan though, with Elwood dancing and vibing right in front of Kelsey’s eyes. The tall man looked so sexy, swaying this hips and tasty bum to the rhythm of the music, and the way he played his harp, looked like he was making love to it. Every now and then he gave her a few glances before shaking his butt and she could swear he did it a little wilder just for her. She enjoyed every minute of their concert and was one of the loudest when calling for an encore.

After the concert she walked up the stairs at the side of the stage to greet the boys. Kelsey immediately caught the trumpet players eyes, who quickly put down his horn, excited to see her. As they both walked towards each other Kelsey was pulled into a hug from Elwood, approaching her from the side. “I don’t believe it, I didn’t knew you were coming.” “Hi Elwood.” The girl stammered taken by surprise and broke away from his arms.”Alan has invited me.”, she explained while letting her gaze wander in search of that very same man. But Alan had turned around on his heel as his heart dropped from seeing the two embracing each other. She saw him walking down the stairs to the backstage area with Lou carrying some of the equipment and she instantly felt bad for letting him down. She needed to talk to him after what had happened yesterday. “I’m almost finished but gotta help Willie demounting the drum set first.” Elwood explained. Kelsey quickly jumped down the stairs Alan had taken before and bumped into Tom. “Woah, slow down girl!” “Damn, I’m really sorry, Tom… Have you seen Alan?” The troubled girl apologised to the trombone player. “Mr.Fabulous? Yeah think he has already left with Lou. Seemed to be in quite a hurry.”, the tall man explained to her. She sighted in disappointment. “Oh, alright… Aaand Tom? Brilliant show by the way!” “Well thank you.”, he smiled and gave her a little bow. Kelsey then decided she should try not thinking about the horn player tonight as she went outside, waiting for Elwood to show up.

He pulled her out of her thoughts by poking her in the side and hugging her from behind. “You ready girl?” “Sure, been waiting for you.”, she beamed as he took her hand and they started walking to the little place where Sonny Boy was presenting some of his best tunes and songs.

When the show came to an end, the two walked hand in hand to Elwood’s car, inhaling the fresh but cold night air. The handsome musician gave Kelsey a look. “You freezing?” “Huh? No, I’m alright.”, she stated but the man took off his suit jacket putting it over her shoulders. “Thanks Elwood.” They reached the Blues Mobile, turning to each other. He broke in on Kelsey by crushing his lips on hers and pulled her in a tight hug. The kiss became more heated before Elwood stopped for a second, both gasping for air, when the pushed his forehead against hers. “I had a fantastic time with you tonight.” She wanted to answer but he pulled her into another deep kiss. The man grabbed her legs at each side and placed her on the bonnet of the Caddy, stepping in between her spread legs. Kelsey pulled at his shirt collar, loosening his tie and started to unbutton the white shirt. Elwood had moved his lips from her mouth down to her neck, nibbling at her ear causing her to moan softly. “How about we continue this at my place?”, he whispered in her ear. It would be a lie to say she wasn’t extremely tempted to agree on that but something held her back. “Perhaps another time, Elwood? It became rather late.”, she tried to say in a seductive way, not wanting to push him away completely. She couldn’t catch much of his reaction since he was wearing his shades. She caressed his face giving his glasses a soft tap. “Do you ever take these off?” “He gave her a roguish smile. “Only in bed.” “Stop it, you!”, she exclaimed and gave him a push on his chest. “Come on girl, I take you home!” She took a seat in the Cadillac’s passenger seat and watched the houses and lights they passed by while Elwood drove. He stopped at a red signal as the lifting bridge in front of them slowly started to move up, so the approaching tanker could pass. “You’re free from giddiness?” He grinned. “Err.. that depends.” Kelsey answered nervy. That answer satisfied him way enough so in the twinkling of an eye, he hit the gas, twisted the steering wheel around and raced straight towards the moving the bridge. The girl jumped up in her seat, grabbing the handle right above the car door and yelled in panic “Heeell, what are you doing?!?” The car picked up speed and jumped from one edge of the bridge to the other side, landing with a big jolt. Kelsey gasped for excitement, looking back at the bridge behind them. “THAT WAS AWESOME! What else can you do?” He laughed “Relax girl, think that’s enough for one night, don’t want the cops on me.” Shortly afterwards they reached Kelsey’s flat. He opened the passengers door for her and walked her to the main door. “So.. you’re sure I won’t get to take these off tonight?” He wiggled his eyebrows causing his glasses so slide down a few inches. “Well you can do whatever you like in ‘your’ bed.. by yourself.” He rolled his eyes in joking way and licked his lips. “You are such a tease, you know that?” He leaned in a gave her a kiss on the lips. “See you hun.”, the man whispered and made his way back to the car, driving off after giving the girl a quick wave. The next day the band had its usual rehearsal of course. Alan was one of the first showing up, so he started unpacking and warming up. While he applied some oil to the valves of his horn, Elwood, Jake, Willie and Murphy walked in. “Come on Mr. Motorhead, don’t be shy” Jake patted him on the back. “Yeah man!” Willie shouted. “Tell us if you finally got her laid. We do have a right to know.” “The hell you have”, Elwood said annoyed. Murphy added “If I’m up to speed it was their 3rd date, you all know what ‘that’ means.” Alan looked up from his horn, watching the guys acting like a bunch of pubescents.” Willie clapped his hands. “Nice man, real nice. How was it? Boy if you ask me, she's one of those wild ones who likes to take the reins!” Alan dropped the small bottle of oil. Did they really…? Could it be true? Elwood sighed. “You know what they say. ‘A gentleman does not boast of his conquests.’” “Aaaand once again we all know what ‘that’ means.” Murphy assured causing the harp player to roll his eyes but Alan couldn’t see that with Elwood being turned away from him. That statement though hit Alan right in the heart. So they really have. He just stood there, staring dead ahead. He didn’t know what to think or say or feel. But it hurt. It hurt as hell. “You don’t wanna pick that up?… Alan? ... Are you alright?” Lou waved his hand in front of his friend's eyes, bringing him back to reality. “Huh?” “The oil?” Lou pointed down. “Oh, err… yeah.”, Alan said emotionless and grabbed the little bottle.

As everyone was set up they started rehearsing, first on the list was “Gimme Some Lovin”. Jake started dictating the rhythm and the guys gave it everything. Except for Alan. As soon as the others realised he hadn’t joined them, they stopped. Jake gave him a look “You’re ready or what?” “Yeah, yeah, just start over.”, the trumpet player mumbled and so they did. They played half of the song when Murphy interrupted, suggesting to change a chord in the guitar parts. Tom looked over at Alan. “Psst, Alan, what the hell was that? Sounded like you left out a bunch of notes there, man.” The trumpet player didn’t even look at him but hissed under his breath. “Yeah, whatever.” Alan couldn’t stop thinking about ‘them’. He saw them in front of his inner eye, making out and with each second more he imagined them it hurt him even more. They started from the scratch until the chorus came up for the second time. Alan missed his cue, rapidly tried to catch up but lagged behind, so Jake broke off again. “I’m sorry guys, I, I seem to have some trouble focusing today.” Steve was fuming “Jeez Mr. Fabulous.”, he mocked his nickname by pronouncing it funny. "As soon as we make a mistake your bigheaded New York ass is hacked off but once you’re playing like crap, it’s alright, huh?” To be fair, this was nothing new, Steve and Alan often had a brush with each other, Steve’s southern characteristic trait hitting on Alan’s New Yorker attitude often ended in disputes. Lou chipped in “Woah hey, calm down, guys!” “Steve’s right though...” Elwood muttered, shrugging his shoulders. Alan gave him an intensely strain look but laughed derisively. “You know what guys? Fuck this, I’m getting out of here!” And with these words he grabbed his things, rushed to the door, kicked it open and left.

[vyglitchcraft]

L NSFW A-Z

Warning NSFW

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

L doesn't seem to be the type to clean up and things like that, he'll probably sleep with you or cuddle that's it

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

For him it's his hair, he's part Asian so his hair is soft and fluffy as fuck

On his partner it's your titties, whether your a guy or girl or anything, he loves your chest and he want to press his face in them

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

His cum tastes like stale energy drinks and it's probably not very thick, it's quite runny but he cums alot! He will give you a whole as facial if you're giving him a head.

Where he would cum, definitely on your stomach or basically outside, he really wants to paint your skin white

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dirty secret you say? He wants to hang you from the ceiling and not in a sexy way either, I'm talking 10 meters off the ground and you being shibari'ed using wires that and if you have a partner or friend he wants to fuck you in front of them

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Not that much, he's not the type to do hookups or pay hookers (well he still does but not as often as the others) so a bit inexperienced except from the things he watched in porn or hentai

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Basically you sitting on his lap, that's it, he just wants to fuck you while he works just to save time

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Pretty serious, i mean he hates jokes and things like that so yeah just pure serious

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

A bit unkept but he was blessed with having short pubes, he doesn't really have time to take care of himself much less groom himself

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Unfortunately no, he's not romantic in bed because he doesn't know how to shos it, remember this man gets so awkward when it comes to romance that it's honestly embarrassing watching him

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off alot, and i mean alot like it's concerning. Also he licks off his own cum and it's a bit weird

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Alright, just like my headcanon he loves hate sex, bondage, cock warming, degrading or teasing, and edging because he wants to see his enemies beneath him and begging but let me add crying and impact play although he got the same reason, imma just add that there too

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Definitely his office like just his office he'll fuck you anywhere in his office

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Honestly? Stress and anger that's it, if you wanna act like a brat he'll immediately drag you in his office, bend you over, and fuck you until you're a crying mess

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sharing with strangers definitely, you're his and his alone so he'll only let you fuck someone else that he allows so you gotta ask for his permission or that dude you fucked is gonna be dead

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Receiving definitely, your lips wrapped around his cock while he works on his computer

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Fucking fast and rough baby, there's no slow and sensual with this dude

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Oh yes he loves it, especially if it ends with you begging for him to fuck you properly

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Eh? Like probably the risk of you passing out and that's it, he's not a risky guy

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Weirdly 3 rounds, i don't how he does it but he got some good stamina for someone that sits around on his computer all day

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Nope! But he's not against trying some

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He is so goddamn unfair, he'll tease you for everything "aww looks like the little brat can't handle my cock, i thought you were so confident that you can" like the dude is mean as fuck

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Ok when he's subbing he is loud! He moans and groans like a girl but him doming? Well he still groans but now a bit deeply but mostly it's dirty talking

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

When subbing he's not bratty but he is loud with begging, like whining type of begging and apologies like "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I've been bad just please let me cum i can't handle it any longer!"

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

7'5 inches and 2 in girth it's in the skinnier side and he's uncut

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

A bit high to average. He probably will fuck you about 3 times a week at least

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn't fall asleep after, he got work to do so he'll probably still be up after fucking you but i can't say the same for you

[spikemuth-post]

My Lost Piers  Fic

I recently dug up the first story I wrote about Piers. I sent it to a friend back when I was still trying to gauge and understand all the characters and thank goodness she kept it

—-

The sound of the T.V. was buried underneath your laughter as you reached over to grab some pizza off the table. You were celebrating your new flat with the only 2 people who were free to help you move in today. Hop was on the floor in front of you, his Cinderace chowing down with him and Marnie was beside him. Her Morpeko was waddling about, playing with the litter of Yampers that your Boltund had. "That is something else." You managed to say, looking away from Marnie. Her smirk didn't go away and she was persistent in wanting to make eye contact with you. You resisted for a bit. " What makes you think that I like your brother?" "That is the most unconvincing denial I have ever heard," Hop snorted as he lowered pizza into his mouth. "You might as well have said 'I don't think Piers is hot! Who said that! Definitely not me!" Hop mocked your voice so convincingly that your Boltund wandered over to see what was going on. You gave the pooch a scratch behind the ears, red in the face at the portrayal. "You like him, don't you-" "No!" Your defense made them both start snickering and Hop looked over by the pizza box. All of your phones were beside one another and so you didn't notice that he grabbed yours and not his. He began to fiddle with it as Marnie laughed at you. "Well, answer my question. Why would you think that?" "Well, to be honest, I didn't." She admitted coyly, "I asked if you liked him because I know for a fact that he thinks you're cute. I was just trying to maybe give you both a little push." "H-He does?" "Yeah, that's good." Hop mumbled to himself as he typed. Neither of you noticed. "Well, would you consider going on a date with him if he asked? Or asking him on a date?" "T-That does sound nice... but what if he doesn't like me like that? Thinking I'm cute and actually liking me are two different things-" "Hey check this out," Hop snickered, holding up your phone so you could see the screen. Marnie wasn't facing it, so she hopped off the couch and leaned over it on your side so you could both get a better look. Your mouth fell open and Marnie read it out loud. " 'Hello there, sexy. Your body is a temple and I want to uncover ALL it's hidden treasures. Maybe meet me at my new flat tonight after dark?'. You didn't have to put both tonight and after dark, Hop. They mean the same thing-" "DO NOT SEND THAT!" You and Hop jumped to your feet and he backed up from you a little bit. As he backed up he squeezed the phone unconsciously, not knowing he was touching the screen. "Relax, Mate. I'd never send it. You're my best friend. Do you really think I would... do...that...oh no." Hop glanced at the message to delete it, horrified to see the word 'sent'. You reached out for your phone and felt a tidal wave of emotions seeing Hop's face. "uh-" "Hop... Tell me why you're looking at it like that." “Uhhhh... Okay... But You can't be mad at me-" "HOP!" "I’ll do damage control," Marnie grumbled, grabbing her phone and going to call Piers. Anger poured out of your mouth and Marnie couldn't help but smile. Upon getting Piers's voicemail her smile dropped. "...I think his phone is off... Good news, I think that means he hasn't seen it." "WE CAN ADDRESS THAT AFTER WE KILL HOP!" "As much as murder would spice up our evening... Our priority should be getting ahold of my brother and letting him know what happened."

—

Obstagoon continues to whine for his trainer's attention, getting a pat on the head every so often. Piers was too focused, staring at the options before him and trying to determine the best move for such an intense and cutthroat strategy game. “...A3-“ “Aw man, you sunk my battleship.” Raihan complained. Burying his face in his hands, he put the peg in his ship. Piers just rolled his eyes. “I wonder what’s taking Leon so long to get here. The movie starts in 20 minutes.” “Yeah, we need to leave soon,” Piers mumbled, taking his phone out to check the time. He didn’t remember the battery died until he looked at it, angrily tossing it back in his pocket. “Text him, see where he is.” “Yeah, give me a minute... G7-“ “Nope-“ “OH COME ON!” As Raihan fumed, Leon entered his apartment, looking oddly determined. The reason being was a call he got from his brother to delete a text from you by any means necessary. His friends didn’t seem to notice anything wrong. “Finally! Come on, we have to get going.” “Uh, yeah, sorry I’m late... Hey, Piers, can I borrow your phone?” “It’s dead, Sorry.” Piers just shrugged but Leon seemed nervous, making Raihan offer his phone. Leon took it with a ‘thank you’ not wanting to decline and be suspicious. This was going to be harder than he thought. ----

They settled into their seats, Raihan’s eyes glued to the soda advertisement. The theatre had only 2 or 3 other people in it, all of them sitting rows above the trainers. Leon was focused on Piers’s phone, which was in the rocker’s back pocket. Leon bought a phone charger and a reserve battery, ready to get his plan into action. He sat beside Piers and the theatre darkened. Raihan seemed so invested already but Piers was leaning on his armrest. The bored rocker’s hip was slightly up as he leaned on his left leg. He wasn’t leaning all the way back in his chair either. Leon could see his phone peeking out of his back pocket.  “Ugh, how long are the logos?” Piers complained to Raihan. As he turned to him, Leon began to slowly reach for the phone. The two were having a small conversation so Leon thought he had plenty of time to grab it. Unfortunately, Piers rolled his eyes at what Raihan said and sat back in his chair. He sat on Leon’s open hand and both men just froze for about solid minute as the opening scene of the movie rolled on. Piers opened his mouth but shut it just as fast, unable to articulate his thoughts. “...Uh... Can I have my hand back?” “Why is it on my ass in the first place?” The moment Piers shifted to release him Leon pulled his hand away. While embarrassed, he was still victorious, hiding Piers’s phone from the rocker’s view.  “Everything alright, mate?” “Yeah, yeah... I thought there was gunk on your seat. I was just um picking it off before you sat down.” “Uh huh,” Piers didn’t feel like picking that apart, ready to sleep through this flick. “Well, next time you want to cop a feel, at least give me a warning.” “Sorry, Piers!” Leon grinned. The moment Piers looked away, he plugged the phone in. Any minute now. All it had to do was power on.

--

When the movie picked up, Leon completely forgot about the phone. He was so invested in the story that he didn’t notice it power on. Piers was asleep on his hand. Raihan was on his phone, texting Nessa about how terrible this movie was.  He looked over to Piers, seeing the Rocker drooling slightly. He couldn’t pass this opportunity up, taking a picture of the sleeping Piers and then sending it to him immediately. “He’ll enjoy this pic when he wakes up.” Raihan snickered. Leon heard him but didn’t understand until Piers’s phone began to ring on his lap. The sound of the hard rock ringtone made Piers wake. He turned to Leon, confused to see his phone on his lap. Leon panicked and silenced the phone.  “... Oh, It’s back on.” “Uh, yeah... I charged it for you!”  “Oh that’s nice...” The groggy Piers looked at the screen. He saw a cut off text, a notification about a picture message and a missed call from Marnie. That was the only thing he really cared about, perking up to see the bright red ‘Missed call’. “Hey, I’m going to step out for a bit, I need to call Marnie back.” He reached for his phone and Leon took in a harsh breath. He gripped the phone tight, making Piers raise a brow.  “Uh, it’s not polite to call in the middle of a movie.” “...I know? That’s why I said ‘step out’. Look, I have to call Marnie back. What if she needs me?” “I-I’m sure it’s nothing-” “Leon, this isn’t funny-” “Can you two keep it down?” A woman 2 rows ahead said suddenly, looking back at the men in disgust. “I’m trying to watch the movie-” “Spoiler alert, Rosco dies.” Piers snapped. A couple of people in the theatre groaned. Even Raihan seemed to be incredibly distraught by the news. “Give me the phone.” “No!” “Leon!” “I’m telling the manager.” The woman complained, getting up to leave the theatre. Piers just couldn’t let her leave without one last jab. “Go ahead, sweetheart, I’ve been kicked out of nicer places.” “Yeah, he got thrown out of the Hero’s bath in Circhester for throwing a bath bomb in there,” Raihan commented. That didn’t get the reaction out of Piers that he wanted and he finally started to look into what the hell was going on next to him. “You guys okay?” “Give me my phone!” “uh, um- BATTLE ME FOR IT!” “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” “Alright! Theatre battle!” Raihan seemed pumped at the idea. Even a few of the moviegoers were interested. The Ex Champion and the Ex Dark Gym leader. Even the manager, who just arrived with an angry patron in tow was oddly invested.

---

“Leon hasn’t answered at all!” You panicked. Marnie was of great support and Hop locked himself in your bathroom to protect himself. “I am so nervous. What if he failed? Oh, Piers will never talk to me again!” “I mean... I think the worst-case scenario is that he shows up at your house thinking you’ll sleep with him... Which I also think you might want-” “Marnie!” “I’m still convinced you like him... Maybe we shouldn’t have outsourced the problem to Leon.” Hop opened the bathroom door for a second but when you whipped your head in his direction he closed it again. “I was just going to say that they went to the movies! Maybe we could go and see what’s happening!” “That’s not a bad idea.” Marnie chimed in, “It would be better to explain it in person.”

--

There was a large crowd outside of the theatre when you all arrived. You exchanged a confused glance around before working through the crowd. In the center was Leon and Piers, each down to their last pokemon. Leon was biting his lip, at a type disadvantage. It looked like Piers was going to win this. Raihan seemed amazed, acting as the referee. When you Hop and Marnie showed up, Leon seemed to glow, gesturing to Marnie immediately. “Look, Piers, Marnie is here! Just ask her yourself!” “Marnie?” Piers turned around to look. Marnie gave a shy wave. Next to her, he saw you and he hoped that his heated cheeks weren’t visible. While he was distracted Leon took the phone out, deleting the latest Message Piers had received. He cheered to himself. “What are you doing here?” “Oh, um, nothing.” Marnie had to quickly think of something. Since the message was now deleted, it seemed counterproductive to bring it up. “I... wanted to know if the movie was good.” “Oh, no it’s garbage-” “Here’s your phone!” Leon called back his Rillaboom, handing Piers his phone. The sudden surrender made the crowd upset but Piers honestly was just confused. He had his own pokemon return, eyeing Leon suspiciously. “S-Sorry about that!” “... The fuck is going on?” “Hop! Buddy! Why don’t we go get something to eat? “ Leon suggested, putting his arm around his brother. Everything was moving so fast that Piers had no idea what to say. Raihan huffed but ultimately didn’t care. He strode over to Piers, putting his arm around him and poking at Piers’s phone screen.  “Anyway, I sent you a pic of you asleep,” Raihan teased, “It should be your most recent message.” Hearing that made Leon freeze. Piers checked his messages from Raihan, shaking his head slowly. “Nah, mate, I’ve got nothing from you.” “What! Ugh, I’ll resend it.” “... Oh, Y/n, you texted me. Sorry I missed it.” He opened it before you could say anything and Hop saw that as the perfect opportunity to ‘nope’ out of there. Leon followed fast. Marnie didn’t want any part of this either, looking off to the side. You were speechless as Piers read the text, staring at it for a while. Over his shoulder, Raihan looked it over, his jaw dropping open once he finished. He pursed his lips and walked away, not wanting to get involved either. You tried to turn around and leave but the moment your back was to Piers it was over. He put his arm around your waist, pulling you to his side as you both walked off. He even cleared his throat cutely. “Piers-” “I think you and I need to talk about a couple things, love.”

[gayregis]

I've listened to the part where Geralt talks with a very ill Cahir about Ciri and vengeance... it was one of the most emotional parts of the book by itself but also thanks to your take about the lost innocence of Ciri ! I felt it thrice hard in the feelings! Also, do you have thoughts on the declared love of Cahir for Ciri? Personally I see it as disturbingly romantic, let's say. Thank you for your commitment to the books and sorry to bother you

omg thank you for the ask. first of all i have to say you’re not bothering me!! tbh i have been loving getting asks because it gives me an opportunity to like bring more discussion to the witcher community... 

i feel like although reblogging pretty gifs of characters/landscapes from tw3 and any good fanart i can find is nice, my FAVORITE thing to do is write or read a really long textpost about the witcher books, i really like the discussion aspect of fandoms where people post their reactions and opinions to the content they like, because you get a bunch of shared reactions and differing opinions.

so no this is NOT a bother at all, and its nice especially to get asks about topics that i have strong feelings about but have not made posts about yet, like this one

ok, as for the actual topic: i hate forced heterosexuality, so you KNOW i hate that canon cahiri! it was out of line from sapkowski and imo, it came out of absolutely nowhere in tower of the swallow, it wasn’t something built up to or foreshadowed at all, so it felt not only weird in context but weird for sapkowski as an author.

my main problem with canon cahiri: i think it’s super creepy!

first of all, let’s discuss the age difference. cahir in baptism of fire is estimated to be “not over 25,” which i see as putting him around 20 to 25 years old, and i usually take the median of this which is around 23. while this “not over 25″ comment is said in the context of the hansa to remark upon how young cahir is (i believe it’s thought of by either geralt or dandelion, and geralt is around 60 years old and as a witcher he looks 45, and dandelion is 38 in tower of the swallow), and how cahir is described as a young man in time of contempt to illustrate that he has a sense of innocence to him as ciri cuts him down, his age gap with ciri is super innappropriate for anything to occur between them, since she is 10 or 11 during the massacre of cintra (as stated by geralt in something more), so she would be around 14 at thanedd, and 15-16 during baptism of fire to lady of the lake. so sapkowski deemed it fit to pair a 23 year old man with a 16 year old girl. this isn’t the first time he’s done something like this, what with essi being “not over 18″ and shani also bein around 18 / college age, and yennefer canonically looking around 20. listen, the man has some messed up values when it comes to women’s ages. we have to take it upon ourselves as people who like the not-weird parts of canon to understand how worldviews and personal biases affect one’s writing, and change it for ourselves to make it right so we can continue interacting with it, if we so choose (tldr: retcon some shit when it’s fucked up in canon).

now, before someone argues that “it’s fantasy medieval world, medieval relationships between men and women were just like that,” believe me, i am aware. i study ancient greece/rome and men who were in their 30s were most often paired with women in their teens as part of their arranged marriages. that is how their ancient societies functioned more than 2000 years ago. the issue is that this is a fantasy world, in which societal norms and laws do not have to conform to real-life earth history, and this is the work of a modern writer writing in the 1990s. it’s not “just how the times were,” it’s deliberately choosing to include an age gap like that to be something canonically acceptable by their society/ies.

also, one could argue that the age gap would be fine once they are older, like, when ciri becomes an adult she is already medievally-style betrothed to cahir so they start dating when she’s like 20 and he’s like 27. eh... that’s still an uncomfortable age gap, at least for when they’re in their 20s. people in their older 20s have more life experience than people in their younger 20s. but at least it wouldn’t land cahir in modern-day jail.

it’s still just an uncomfortably large age gap, and if you think about it, it’s even creepier considering that cahir met ciri when she was a helpless child around 10 - 11 and it just makes the bathing scene excruciatingly creepy too if you put it in the context that he eventually would fall in love with her. it even begins to not be about strictly age, but about life experience, development, and power imbalance within the relationship. i mean, he did literally kidnap her.

cahir in tos calls ciri a “woman” when she is like, 15 or 16 (with the rose tattoo) (to anyone reading, please don’t come at me with that “the age of consent is 15 in poland, just because it’s 18 in the US doesn’t mean your laws and culture apply to everyone” ... please do not try and justify this with laws, legality is not morality. only saying this because i’ve seen it in other posts). like.... hm! don’t like that! she is a teenager... he is in his 20s... this should not be occuring.

sorry for the loooong explanation, but every time someone brings up the subject of age gaps on tumblr it turns into crazy discourse with everyone trying to justify it.

but yeah, CANONICALLY cahir would have been 16-21 (median 18) when he met ciri at 10-11, and 20-25 (median 23) when he declares his love for her at 15-16. that’s ... not good ... to put it more into perspective, these are their ages on a traditional school system path: a 18 year old is a high school senior, an 11 year old is a 6th grader. a 23 year old has been out of college for 2 years, a 16 year old is a high school sophomore. ITS NOT GOOD

my other problem with canon cahiri: it’s boring and contradicts sapkowski at his own game.

all of the witcher is about taking fantasy tropes and inverting them, like you can’t have some random peasant kill a dragon, you’d need a professional, and also guess what, the dragon isn’t evil but a dad trying to protect his wife and child.

all of the characters in the hansa (as well as the four main characters of geralt, yennefer, ciri, and dandelion) are inversions of the tropes they represent. for some examples, milva’s trope is something like the hot action girl who only exists to be the only girl in the company and to be sexy eye candy. instead of falling into this, she is actually an action girl, not bothering with sexiness and appeal to the gaze of a male audience but a “get shit done” type, who also dresses and acts “like a man.” regis’ trope is all vampire tropes ever. he/vampires in the witcher doesn’t/don’t fall into any of the traditional european vampire myths like burning in sunlight, needing to drink blood to stay alive, being disdainful of humanity, having aversions to garlic, belonging to a super-secret orderful society that lurks in the shadows and controls everything like puppetmasters, etc... instead, he is the epitome of redemption arcs and overall “goody-goodiness,” understands humanity perfectly and does things out of his good nature. i already talk about regis too much, so i’ll quit it. 

cahir is an inversion of every knight trope ever, particularly the evil knight. he scars ciri’s memory as a night terror, but actually is not ... a bad person. he’s just some guy, pressured by his family and his society to do what he saw as an assignment like a college kid might see their final essay assignment posted on canvas. except you know. the final exam was to kidnap a girl. and he got an F on that and failed the course (ie got thrown in prison). ANYWAYS, cahir is meant to be this inversion of the knight tropes, so WHY, WHY, WHY make him become the knight trope of being the one to romance and to save a hapless princess? if we’ve learned anything about ciri, it’s that she’s the inversion of the princess trope! she KILLS PEOPLE. she ALMOST KILLED CAHIR. she can defend herself and kill for herself, she doesn’t need the knight trope going to protect her! 

heterosexual romance as the Big Reason and Motivation behind all of a character’s actions is tiring, annoying, boring, and not well-thought out. it’s so base and not unique, it doesn’t fit in with everything else about the witcher.

how i would fix it: not make them fall in love.

cahir already HAS a motivation to find ciri and to help her. he needs to APOLOGIZE. he needs to say, hey, i’m sorry i kidnapped you and ruined your life, i made peace with your dad, he doesn’t wanna kill me anymore, i can only hope that you can forgive me too after i SET THINGS RIGHT. 

as opposed to regis’s arc (i swear i am not playing favorites with regis, i just tend to compare and contrast regis and cahir’s redemptions because they are quite different yet they join the hansa side by side so they’re bound to be compared), cahir actually can find the one (not many) people he wronged, and set things right on his own accord, not go forth with a larger mission to assist all humanity, or whatever.

i think cahir also had this WONDERFULLY UNDERUTILIZED anti-imperialist message as part of his character that pains me to see being swept under the rug for some cheap lame romance story. sapkowski already created some anti-war sentiments with the battle of the bridge in baptism of fire, and he tried to create anti-racism sentiments throughout the book/at the end of lady of the lake. anti-imperialism fits with the rest of the saga as a message.

the fact that cahir was instructed by his family to hate the northern kingdoms, despite the fact that they were related to northerners, is really profound as something to happen to a character, and holds a lot of meaning in today’s society. the fact that he broke, finally, after he lost ciri, just completely lost his mind and had to be restrained because he was wailing so hard, because of the pressure that this society put him under to succeed and achieve pride for his family, is such a great example of the tragedies of society. then he speaks out against his leader and is jailed... and yet, after this, he gets to learn from his mistakes and redeem himself as a good person, and his character has developed SO much. he is not doing what his country wants him to do, he is not doing what his family wants him to do. he is doing what he wants to do because it is the RIGHT thing to do. that already is such a powerful message, he doesn’t need anymore character motivation!

so yep that’s my thoughts on why cahir is a good character asides from all that forced romance biz

[some-creep]

CREEP RANKS EVERY SONG IN NIER... AUTOMATA (mostly) BY TITLE

Because, like, no one played Gestalt. Also this game has more songs.

Significance Like. I guess. It’s a title you can use. What is significant? We don’t know. The characters don’t know. They are struggling to find out. We all are. What is meaning? What really matters? I don’t know but we’re all crying. 8/10

City Ruins – Rays of Light / Shade Plays in the ruins of the city. Exactly as advertised. Sounds sad like you might imagine. 9/10

Peaceful Sleep This is the Resistance camp right? Peaceful things don’t tend to happen there honestly. At least not as we keep going. Sounds like a sleepy JRPG town though. Ok title for the mood it gives. I like this song a lot so I’m cheating and giving it more points than I know it deserves as just, like, a title. 8/10

Memories of Dust Sand is dusty. What memories? We’re making them. Cool title. Sounds like a YA novel though. 9/10

Birth of a Wish Genuinely often get confused with the Silent Hill 2 bonus story Born from a Wish whenever I try to remember what this song is called. This Cannot Continue / 10

The Color of Depression This is like… a really cool title. Thanks. That Scanner boy is not gonna live the happy family life you all for some reason keep suggesting he is. Bad things are gonna happen to him. He dies anyway. 11/10

Amusement Park Yeah. I guess. We certainly are in the amusement park level. Creep why does this one rank so much lower than City Ruins which was also just “name of location”. Amusement park is not a cool title. City Ruins is a cool title. 7/10

A Beautiful Song Would you say Simone has girlpower? Would you say Simone successfully used her girlpower to kill and consume countless androids and also turn them into near lifeless weapons and body jewelry? 9/10

Voice of No Return Sad title. Sad song. Exactly as advertised once again. I feel sad listening to the Automata OST most of the time. Is this quest complete in the camp? I think so. Anyway it’s really sad. I love to cry. 11/10

Grandma – Destruction Um so this is like. Genuinely a horrible title. It reminds me of the title of a darkweb video which I will say no more on. This song is REALLY good its a shame this title is so… uh. Bad. It’s just bad. 1/10

Faltering Prayer – Dawn Breeze / Starry Sky This is another really cool title. This game is about like… life after god. I’m not here to get thematic. I say in a list entirely about if the song fits the theme. Anyway this is a cool title. The song again… sounds sad.  One of them is a music box which I love. Cheating again. 10/10

Emil’s Shop EVERY DAY’S A SALE. EVERY SALE’S A WIN. 12/10!!

Treasured Times The fact this plays after Emil’s shop on the OST is the biggest tonal whiplash in the world. This song makes me feel an emotion I cannot describe. It’s something like sadness but not quite. This isn’t a review of the songs, just the title. But reading the title makes me feel that emotion too but stronger when I think about it. I don’t know. 9/10

Vague Hope – Cold Rain / Spring Rain Good title… Thematically very appropriate. Not COOL like some of the others but it feels right feels canon. I like it. It’s just the city ruins quest complete song but it also plays in one of the fucking… DLC fights. That makes me extra sad. 10/10

End of the Unknown Which unknown was ended. Genuinely think when this plays I had more unknowns than knowns. This song sounds like every song from the Gestalt DLC. 6/10.

Pascal At least Automata has far fewer “named after a character” songs. They just have named after a place songs. I love Pascal so if I give this a low score he might be upset. 8/10

Forest Kingdom It really… the forest huh. Random but one of the songs in Code Vein does a vocal thing that always reminds me of this song for some reason. That has nothing to do with this game or this songs title at all I just wanted to tell you. Long Live The Forest King / 10

Dark Colossus – Kaiju This song is also in Gestalt. It’s cooler here. More stakes. Song title suggests less stakes though? That’s kinda weird. Because of this it loses points. I’m sorry. 7/10

Copied City Dude I left this one off the list when I first typed it out lol. Someone not to @ anyone told me this was based on Nier’s village. Lie to me again. I don’t know what City is being Copied. One of them. It reminds me more of the Cathedral City from DoD3. Which is a bad horrible game that I completed 100%. 8/10

Wretched Weaponry Not to be confused with Wretched Automatons. Is this like, a remix? My ears don’t work so I don’t know. Don’t inform me because I love being stupid. Anyway, in the narrative it makes sense. It’s a good, cool title. Song is softer than the title would suggest. 9/10

Possessed by Disease COOL SONG TITLE. Thank you. This plays… somewhere. Uh. Hm. I’ve 100% completed this game like three times. 9/10

Broken Heart You think you’re gonna hear a sad song? SURPRISE. Sinister as hellllll. Subverted expectations baby. MCU take notes. I’ve never seen a movie in the MCU. Loving the dark tones in this. Broken heart but the emotion isn’t just sad. GOOD STUFF. 10/10

Mourning Again. You think it’s gonna be sad? But BOOM. It isn’t. I mean it still is, but in a dark way. These aren’t song reviews. These are title reviews. But if a title suggests one thing and delivers another that’s still a valid point right? I don’t know. Hey wait isn’t this just Shadowlord’s Castle? Yonah / 10

Dependent Weakling Well, it’s no Song of the Ancients – Fate, but it’ll do. In all seriousness, this is like, a great song title for Eve’s boss battle. Y’know, because he relied so heavily on Adam and all’a that. Maybe a little on the nose. Maybe a little rude. Eve sucks / 10

Rebirth & Hope Sounds hopeful. Plays during ending A where we see a Rebirth cos 9S super doesn’t die. This song is literally 30 seconds long why am I even bothering. Oh, right, because it’s on the OST at all. 30 second songs / 10

War & War Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room. It… sounds like a war room song. A preparing for a big battle song. Once again, exactly as advertised. Plays before a big battle. It really thematic naming! Peace was never an option. 8/10

Crumbling Lies Words cannot express how much I adore this song. First of all, title is on point. It’s the song that plays when you get to  Route C. Literally the moment I fell in love with the game. The Bunker is destroyed, which, again… maybe it’s a bit on the nose. I don’t care. This is the perfect song title to the perfect song. I will die on this hill. 12/10

Widespread Illness Red Eye except it’s robots now. Very thematically appropriate. Everyone is dying. There’s nothing you can do to cure it except kill them. They’re incredibly infectious. Zombie Virus but with Robots. Can you tell I don’t remember what it’s called? I’m writing this at 1am and I’ve decided it’s funnier if I don’t look anything up. Sounds very somber… I like it. 9/10

Fortress of Lies Not to be dramatic but when I read this English title I was like MMMMMMMNNN because like. I get it. It plays in the Bunker. Which… is built on lies. Again. Incredibly on the nose but when I learned what the song was called I just fucking DIED the first time. I’m stupid. I don’t care. 11/10

Song of the Ancients – Atonement Another song I died when I learned the title of. Devola and Popola in that game have nothing to atone for. They are atoning for sing they did not commit. Punished for the crimes of another set of Androids, possibly thousands of miles away. It’s not fair. They have nothing to atone for. They’ve done nothing wrong. 12/10 crying creeps.

Blissful Death FUCK. This one plays in the Devola and Popola like. Text Adventure part. Which is just. I love it so much. No one dies in that though. Well… maybe someone does. It’s not impossible that Popola hurt someone. It’s suggested that, maaaaybe she did. No one stops. No one Stops.

Emil – Despair Emil’s life has quite literally only been despair. Please don’t bully him with your song titles like this… 9/10

Alien Manifestation Vintage meme of that guy from the history channel with the impact font that just says Aliens.  This game has aliens, I will give you that. They’re all dead though. I guess the machines are aliens but. Eh. Wait doesn’t this play in the castle? There aren’t even aliens there what the fuck. 5/10

The Tower There’s a tower. This plays there. Thank you. Also the name of a tarot card I think? That could be cool if I knew a single goddamn thing about tarot cards. I don’t. 6/10

Bipolar Nightmare Cool flying section. Has anyone found Grun skip yet? Because the bounty for that was like. A lot of money. Vaguely a cool song title. I kinda like it. Although for some reason it reminds me of The Evil Within’s Japanese title, Psychobreak. So I think I like it less because of that. Not the worst title, but maybe the lowest of the COOL EDGY song titles. Fucking love the piano part in this one though. 7/10

The Sound of the End Really super cool and sexy song title. 2B is going to die but she can’t let anyone else get hurt because of it. She’s already done so much damage. This song is really dramatic sounding. The title is dramatic. Love this one a lot. The actual playable segment is kind of a struggle. But I think that’s the point… 10/10

Weight of the World / End of YoRHa I once got into an internet fight because I said this song is about every character except 9S because of the line “I’m only one girl”. I was corrected that the Japanese version is basically EXCLUSIVELY about 9S. None of this is relevant at all I just wanted to remember it. I still do not like 9S. Thematically a brilliant title. Everyone feels like they must do so much… but you cannot bear the weight of the world alone. Ending E legitimately makes me cry. Whenever I think about the messages from other players supporting me? It’s a lot. What the fuck. 12/10