#I’m sure he’d really want a cuddle even if he’s in pain and struggling to move

[seagull-scribbles]

Safe from the world, though the world will try…

So breath, breath with me~

[arabellavernierwrites]

hiiii i love your work so far and you have such an easy to read and chill writing style i love itttt

idk how to do requests lol but ok:

would you do a super fluffy spencer reid x reader during season 5 when he’d been shot in the knee (or maybe he’s injured in another way i don’t mind) but he’s having trouble showering bc it hurts and it’s difficult and the reader basically washes his hair for him? and idk if you want to extend it maybe they could cuddle up and watch a movie or something? idk i thought it was cute hehe

nothing nsfw just a lil angst and mostly fluff

thank you so much !! :)

wash day. s.r.

summary : after being shot in the knee , spencer had been struggling to take a shower. in a moment of desperation , he lets you help him.

word count : 1669

warnings : mentions of injury , mentions of pain , mentions of fighting unconsciousness , descriptions of self-loathing , suggestions to nudity (bath)

a/n : hi guys ! thank you so much for sending in another request , it really brightens my day knowing you guys want to read my writing , and like it enough to want to send requests ! so thank you for being so good to me and offering so much kindness. i want to thank @c-m-stuff for being supportive of literally everything i post , so go celebrate maya’s 100 followers for mood boards , promoting your own fics , and headcannons (ends july 10) ! and thank you so much to @kaitlynpcallmebeepme for sending me such sweet and encouraging words the other day , she has so much amazing works that you have to check out. i cannot thank you all enough for being so wonderful to me. my requests are still open , so please send more ! and thank you to all that send requests in ! hope you have an amazing incredible wonderful day. love you guys !

you returned from work to a fairly quiet household. not much of your usual setting was disrupted, aside from a few of spencer’s things lying around.

a few weeks ago, he had been shot in the knee, causing him to hang around at home a lot more than he typically would. partially because hotch told him off every time he spent even 5 minutes exerting more energy than he needed, and partially because he loved spending every second with you. even though it was something you were sure he wouldn’t ever admit, his heart swelled every time you looked after him.

aside from a few misplaced items, spencer was nowhere to be found. a cause for concern, you decided to check the bedroom to see if he had hit the hay early that day, only to be met with an empty bed.

you jumped as a loud clatter of metal rang out in the bathroom behind you, “spencer? are you alright, sweetheart?”

the shower timidly turned on, the water pattering off the tile below, muffling the sound of his voice, “i’m alright”.

spencer didn’t often lie, he didn’t have to. he knew that whatever fib he told wouldn’t stand a chance against his truthful tone. which is why you knew he wasn’t alright.

“can i come in?” you asked sweetly, placing your hand on the door knob.

“of course,” he muttered quietly, defeat evident in his voice.

you opened the bathroom door to spencer seated on the edge of the tub, his crutches fallen to the ground, his shirt drenched, and his hair partially wet. he looked up at you through his lashes, a hint of sadness and a plea for help swirled within his gaze.

“what happened?” you asked, sincerely, taking a seat next to him.

his lower lip threatened to quiver as his head turned to the floor, embarrassment not allowing him to meet your eyes, “i feel gross”.

you rubbed a hand up and down his back, the wet fabric clinging to his skin, “what do you mean?”

“my hair feels gross, my body feels gross,” he shook his head softly, “i just wanted to shower. but i can’t”.

“it’s difficult with the leg, isn’t it?” you questioned, he nodded his head.

“i tried earlier when you were at work, but this happened,” he pushed his hair off of his forehead, showing a small, red welt near his temple, “the movement is painful too”.

“my sweet thing,” you tutted, “did you clean it?”

he shook his head, the shame and frustration of not being able to care for himself returning. insecurity building with each day of failed attempts at getting clean. feeling uncomfortable, gross, and unattractive made his mind hazy with self-repulsion.

“it just hurts,” he whispered, “it’s too painful to do by myself”.

he thought back to the first time he tried to shower on his own. he bumped his knee while trying to take his clothes off. the pain was so excruciating he spent several minutes fighting unconsciousness, gripping the bathroom countertop to keep himself from collapsing on the floor, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he breathed deeply. he spent the rest of the day in bed, his head buried into the pillow, desperate to dull the ache that seemed to consume his entire body.

“well, i’ll help,” you stood, turning to face spencer, “let’s get you a nice bath”.

you reached out, assisting him in getting up from the bathtub to sit on the lid of the toilet seat.

“is it alright if i undress you?” you asked, holding onto the bottom of his sopping shirt. he nodded, allowing you to take full control.

you gently peeled his shirt over his head, tossing it into the laundry basket next to you. his shoulders were hunched over, clearly experiencing some discomfort with being shirtless when he felt so self-conscious about his current, un-showered state.

you knelt down in front of him, helping unclip and remove the mechanical brace that had been keeping his leg at a slight angle. it was placed on the bathroom counter as you took your time removing all of his remaining clothing, needing to maneuver a few times to rid him of his pants and undergarments.

despite being as careful as possible, he was full of whines, groans, and pained whimpers.

“i need a second,” he quietly panted, discomfort firing off throughout his body.

when he was ready, you braced each other’s arms, taking your time as he struggled with his balance getting into the bath. wobbling, nervous, and gripping you tightly, spencer had finally been able to get in there for the first time in days.

“look at you,” you cheered, celebrating his victory as he failed to hide a smile, “i’m gonna have your back face the faucet”.

he grimaced as you helped lower him to sit in the tub, his pain evident in the white-knuckled grip he had on your hands.

“i’ll be back in just a second, okay?” you hurried into the kitchen, grabbing a cup from the cabinet, and a small towel from the hall closet.

you placed the cloth over his bandaged knee, being as cautious as you could to not touch it, “i don’t want this to get wet”.

spencer looked up at you with appreciation for your kind heart. his sweet brown eyes with his long lashes, you couldn’t help yourself from leaning in for a kiss.

“i love your hair,” you smiled, filling the cup with water from the running faucet behind spencer, “you have the softest boy hair ever”.

spencer chuckled, “what does that mean?”

you leaned him back slightly, pouring the contents of cup on his head, angling it to not get any water in his eyes, “i feel like guys always have really coarse hair. sure, it might be healthy, but it isn’t soft like girl hair”.

“you have much experience with guy hair?” he asked, humor evident in his tone.

“not necessarily,” you squeezed yourself a handful of shampoo, “girl hair on the other hand”.

spencer laughed, for the first time in days it wasn’t feigned or forced, “i know. you can’t keep your hands off penelope, emily, or jj when they visit”.

“part of girlhood, i guess,” you shrugged, “we spend our recesses in elementary school braiding each other’s hair, help each other curl our hair for middle school dances, and eventually completely fry it together in high school”.

“the only two people that touched my hair before you were my mom and that one guy at supercuts,” spencer closed his eyes as you emulsified the shampoo at his roots, massaging in the frothy suds.

“i kinda miss the elevated bowl cut,” you teased.

spencer groaned, trying hard not to roll his eyes, “i don’t”.

you rinsed his head clean of the soap.

“when you used to gel it back for work? super hot,” you reached for your pricey conditioner, an expense you liked treating yourself to every once in a while.

“when we watched all of those black and white films together,” he reminisced, “that was my homage to gregory peck. or at least my attempt at it”.

“it was cute,” you nodded, “i really liked the glasses with it too”.

you rubbed the conditioner together in your hands, fingering through his long locks to free them from any knots that may have tangled themselves together from the shampoo.

his body relaxed itself, no longer so tense from the awkwardness of trying to get into the bathtub.

you appreciated this moment of silence. just you and the man you love more than anything. something as simple as washing his hair being the highlight of your day, solely because it’s time spent with him. a simple conversation between the two of you enough to make your heart swell the way it did when you first met.

“we’re almost done,” you rinsed the remaining conditioner from his ends.

as the last cup of water rid his hair of any product, you prepared yourself to help him up.

“we did it!” you cheered squeezing out any excess water from his dripping hair.

the thought of getting him back on the floor safely was daunting. it was difficult before, but now everything was sopping too.

you were slow and careful, assisting him in getting back on his feet. you gripped him harder than necessary, worried he was gonna come crashing to the ground and split his knee back open. your brows furrowed in concentration, both of his feet coming to rest on the bath mat.

you grabbed a towel from the rack as he caught his breath, unable to hide the pain from his face.

gently, you dried him off, wrapping the cloth around his waist as you ordered him to sit back down on the lid of the toilet seat. he panted in victory, his first shower in nearly a week had been completed successfully, all thanks to you.

“you did a great job,” you grabbed the other towel, draping it over his head.

placing both hands down, you rubbed in circles. drying his hair fairly quickly, you tossed the towel off to this side, landing in a crumpled bunch at the bottom of the laundry basket.

spencer smiled up at you through the hair that hung in front of his face, “thank you”.

“of course,” you swept it out of his eyes, “let’s get you into some comfy clothes”.

as spencer sat on the edge of the bed in his plaid pants, you were planted cross-legged behind him, hair brush in hand. you took your time, tender strokes through his nearly shoulder-length hair. brushing and brushing again, he progressively slumped over, tiredness trying to take over.

“how about we call it a night?” you asked, turning him to lay down next to you.

“okay,” he answered quietly, pulling you into his arms as you turned off the bedside lamp, “thank you for your help today”.

you grinned, giving him a quick kiss, “anything for you”.

[lifblogs]

Loki’s seizures and possible brain tumor behavior symptoms are getting worse and my heart is breaking. After one seizure today when he tried moving he whined. It hurt so bad hearing that and knowing he was in pain. He’s taking longer and longer to wake up from the seizures as well.

We don’t even have the money for his emergency meds.

At this point taking Loki for imaging is too dangerous, and we’re not sure he’d survive. And he’s on a very high dose of a med that might eventually not be tolerated well.

I feel like I’m fighting a losing battle, or perhaps not fighting at all. All I can do is be there for him. It’s so hard seeing my boy suffer. It’s so hard kissing his head like he loves and knowing there are tumors inside it. This poor tiny boy.

Please, I am only at 7% of my goal of Loki’s emergency fund. If you could donate even a little that would be wonderful. I don’t touch any of this money despite struggling. I have $0.96 not counting Loki’s fund, and I am okay with it staying that way if it means I’m not taking from Loki’s needs.

Loki will eventually need the hospital given his potentially terminal condition, and I want him to get the best care possible.

Aside from the seizures and the stress at mealtimes Loki still enjoys being silly with Alley, taking toys out of his toybox, scratching anything he can get his little paws on (that is actually a cat scratcher), going on rips, cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, kissies, belly rubs, getting brushed, having treats, lounging in the sun, and making biscuits. He doesn’t really play anymore or ask for me to take out his favorite supervised toy, but he technically still has a good quality of life. Just not with the times he has seizures, or when he’s stressed about food. I am saying this so you know I am not keeping my boy with me out of selfishness. He still has a good time.

BUY ME A COFFE TO HELP WITH LOKI’S EMERGENCY FUND.

[headkiss]

hey! could i do a request for steve? maybe where reader struggles with back pain ( specifically knots) and steve comforts her and gives her a massage? you know all the comfort/fluffy things <33 please and thanks honey <33

hiii yes you can! hope u like it :D | 0.7k words

You've been achy since the morning, more so than usual. The knots in your back leave you twisting to find a comfortable position. It doesn’t work.

It frustrates you but you try your best to ignore it. The last thing you want to do is call Steve while he’s at work, but you wish he was home to help you. He always knows exactly what to do to make you feel better and you don’t know how you got along without him before.

As the day dragged on, you moved into the bedroom, opting to lay down with a book and some music on to see if that would help. It was a bit better, but you were still uncomfortable, in pain.

You were immensely relieved when Steve came home.

“Baby, I’m back!”

“In here, Stevie.”

You hear him shuffle about with his things, shoes slipping off by the door and keys dropped on the counter. He comes into the room and drops his Family Video vest on the dresser before going over to you.

He walks to your side of the bed, crouches a little so he can kiss your forehead and then stands again.

“Hi, baby.”

You think even the sight of him, his fluffy hair and freckled skin, eases your pain. At least, for a moment it does.

“Mmm, hi,” you shift and wince as you do. You hope he doesn’t notice but, of course he does.

“What’s wrong?”

“My back.”

“Why didn’t you call?” He kneels so his face is level with yours, concern and sympathy in his eyes. “I would’ve come home if you needed.”

“I know, it’s okay. Nothing new.”

He hates the fact that you’ve had to get used to your back aches and he wishes that he could take them away, that he could be the one in pain just so you didn’t have to be.

“Let me help?” He asks, his hand cupping your cheek gently.

“Okay.”

You knew what he meant by ‘help.’ He’d give you a massage, and then he’d cuddle you while you watched a movie or talked or slept. Either way, he’d hold you. Steve learned how to give you a massage in a way that would actually help, going to the library for once in his life to see if there were any books that could help.

He pulls the blankets down so that your torso is exposed, you had one of Steve’s t-shirts on, like you usually did. He stands and gestures for you to roll onto your stomach, face smushed in your pillow. Despite you being in pain, you still look beautiful.

Steve climbs onto the bed, his legs on either side of you so he sits on your bum, keeping you weighed down on the mattress and comfy. You hear him rub his hands together to warm them up a little bit before finding the hem of your—or his—shirt and sneaking under it.

You like the massages best when his skin is against yours, and he simply likes to have his hands on you. It’s a win win.

He starts up by your shoulders, kneading at the knots in your back and relaxing you best he can.

“You okay, baby?”

“Mhm,” you’re practically melting into the bed, suddenly sleepy and more content than you have been all day. “Really good, Stevie.”

He smiles at your praise and keeps going, he’d do it for eternity if it meant you didn’t have to be in pain.

“You’re making me sleepy.”

“Do you want to sleep now?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

His hands slow down and ease up, running over your skin softly before he withdraws completely. He moves off of you to go change and brush his teeth, not before planting a kiss on your cheek, though.

When he comes back, he’s sure you’re already asleep. You surprise him by moving yourself over to him once he’s in bed and he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you.

You think his hands have some kind of healing powers, like they can simply suck the pain from your body. Maybe it’s just him as a whole, his presence and care for you.

“Thank you, Stevie.”

“‘Course, baby. I love you.”

It comes out as a mumble, quieter in your drowsiness, “I love you, too.”

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Sixteen: Appropriate Behavior Between Friends

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

Maybe Gordon really should just go ahead and cut his hair short. Getting it into a pony tail one-handed was possible but a massive pain and it wasn’t a particularly good ponytail, always coming undone far before the day was through, requiring fixing it or just dealing with it. Or maybe he could just let it hang down.

Smoothing it down, he looked in the mirror hung up on his closet door. It looked good but… as soon as he did anything or if it was windy outside, it would become a nuisance. The ponytail was always the easy compromise but with how much of a pain that was now, maybe it wasn’t worth it anymore. Damn, that sucked but what else could he do?

“Want help with your ponytail?”

Gordon turned to look at Benrey standing in the bedroom doorway, looking at him. “Huh?”

“Your ponytail. Want me to do it? ‘Cause you only got one hand so its always super loose and comes undone and stuff.”

A prank? … Maybe. But when they cuddled and Benrey stroked his hands through Gordon’s hair, it always felt rather nice. And it was the exact solution to the problem he’d just been contemplating. So why not give Benrey a chance and if he messed up Gordon’s hair for a prank, it’d seal the deal on him cutting it off. “Sure. Thanks. You know how to do it?”

“Uh… it can’t be that hard, can it? Just give me one of your hair thingies and then sit down somewhere I can reach easy.”

True, a basic ponytail really wasn’t that hard figure out. So he handed Benrey the hair tie he’d already grabbed as he went past him to lead the way into the kitchen. The chairs there were the perfect height.

Before sitting down though he turned Benrey and… no, he might regret it in a few minutes but he trusted him. He was the one who’d brought up the topic of Gordon’s hair last night after all, perhaps as a precursor to whatever prank he was about to try to pull now but maybe not too. “Thanks,” was all he said before turning back around and sitting around.

A moment later Benrey’s hands were going through his hair. As always how cool and smooth they were made it an unique experience, a pleasant one. Benrey was just nice to touch and be touched by in general.

“So uh… if we gotta, when we heading to old Black Mesa facility?” Benrey asked.

“Not until after we’re sure your data hasn’t already been salvaged ‘cause I’m not going back there unless I’m sure we have to.” Or they could wait until the teams already being sent down there found everything and brought it back. It’s not like they were looking at any of it on the spot, just gathering everything they could to be sorted through later. Then again it might be better to not risk Benrey getting found out if they could avoid it. That was something they’d decide on later though.

“Yeah, I know, duh. But how long is that gonna take?”

“I don’t know. A week, maybe two, could be longer. It depends on a lot of stuff. We’ll start looking tomorrow though.” And it wouldn’t even be suspicious because now that they had a few things up and running, it wouldn’t be viewed as odd if Gordon suggested they start going through the experiment data for anything else that could be brought back that might be helpful in Black Mesa’s struggle to get back to its feet. “I’m second in command now,” and still proud of that even if how he’d got that promotion had been less than fun. He’d still earned it though, for all the trauma as well as how strongly he’d pushed himself onto Breen upon returning to help them. “So I can probably make the call on who all looks at that stuff and set just us to it. If I can’t quite get away with that, it’ll take longer. But if you’re anxious about it, I guess we could…”

“Nah, I’m not,” Benrey interrupted, “just bored.” Figures. “But uh… done.” He pulled his hands back. “I do it right?”

Gordon reached back to finger his ponytail. It was a bit higher than he normal set it but not too tight or loose and far more secure than he’d been able to get it since losing his hand. “It’s perfect. Thanks a ton.” This was certainly far easier and faster.

“Awesome. I’ll uh… be in the basement today then. Probably gonna be a while so go hang out with Tommy or Coomer.”

Gordon stood, turning to see him starting in that direction. He followed. “Why?”

Benrey remained silent until reaching the basement door, pausing just outside it before turning back to look at him. “Gonna do some shape shifting. Try to see if I can’t stumble upon a… true form or whatever you called it.”

Oh! Gordon wanted to see that. “Do you think I could…”

“No,” Benrey interrupted, his tone not particularly sharp but it still firm enough to leave no room for trying to convince him to change his mind. “Don’t come down. I’ll see you later.” And with that he back stepped, phasing through the door, leaving Gordon alone in the hall.

Damn it. Gordon could technically sneak down there in like half an hour when Benrey might not be watching for him anymore. Just a peek nothing more. But… Benrey had told him not to and so he shouldn’t. Benrey deserved privacy just in general but also especially so because likely he hadn’t been allowed much of it in the past.

And so, with some effort he turned and headed back into the living room. He could play some games like he had when Benrey had gone on that walk yesterday. But… knowing Benrey was in the house doing something interesting would make it tempting sneak down to peek so he’d head out instead. He could follow through on that promise to replace Tommy’s gooed OSHA manuals. Maybe get the promised PS3 for Benrey too. All the big expenses were taken care of now and they were firmly settled in, so he could easily justify it. And heck, while he was at it, why not go back to the idea of getting Dr. Coomer Super Punch Out and a SNES too and if he could find anything spaced themed to give to Bubby when he returned from his trip to Aperture, he’d get that too.

Pulling out his phone, he brought up his text chat with Tommy. ‘Want to go on a mini-shopping spree with me? You need to tell me where to go to replace your OSHA manuals.’ And which ones needed to be replaced because Gordon didn’t remember.

The reply came blessedly rather quickly. ‘Sure. I’ll walk down. See you soon.’ Awesome, that took care of the loneliness thing that Gordon still needed to get over. That was easier said than done though so… he could give himself a break on this.

***

The hardest part about big changes when shape shifting was the bones. Benrey could change all his soft parts without too much issue but when not hyped up on whatever was in the air on Xen, changing his skeletal structure took time, effort, and energy. Even more now than back at Black Mesa thanks to his general power level being stuck somewhat low.

Perhaps he could try dissolving his bones entirely and just be a mass of flesh and whatever organs he felt like making, if any at all. That would leave him with no structure to his form. It’d be harder to move and would he even be able to speak? The hard mouth parts were important for speech after all. So… he would maybe try that idea later.

For now, because the one thing he did know about himself was that he had a connection to Xen – from there or made from something found there – he would he would try out some Xen forms. Having encountered headcrabs first, that seemed like a good place to start. Not having a headcrab in front of him made it hard; what the heck did their bones do? But he was pretty sure that wouldn’t be his true form anyway. Something along the way to making it or between it and whatever form he tried next might be though and thus it was worth doing.

It took a couple hours but he did eventually have his best approximation of a headcrab. The bone structure was off for sure, it was too big – he could only shrink himself so much – and he added an eye on top between the two arm like appendages because he liked being able to see – presumably the real things had some other kind of sensory organ he didn’t know enough about to be able to replicate – but it was close enough. It was also very much not his true form, nor was any form leading to it. Having no desire to linger in it, he quickly starting shifting again.

Next he shifted into a peeper puppy. Already in a somewhat quadrupedal form, it took less time but long enough that the boredom of doing nothing else still ate at him. He should’ve done this in front of the TV. Gordon would’ve been able to see if he had though and… he didn’t need the distraction of Gordon watching him contort his form and reshape his entire skeletal structure repeatedly as if he were putting on a fun show or science documentary.

He made the eyes last mostly because they were easy but also because upon opening them he was met with a far bigger field of vision than he’d ever had before. Even on Xen when he’d been physically bigger and thus been able to see more at once as a result, it hadn’t felt like this. It was pretty damn cool if a bit disorienting. Maybe he should leave and run around outside like this, really take in the sights. … Later. He had a mission today, one he’d been impatient enough about to not put off until tomorrow. So some other day he’d turn into a peeper puppy again and have Gordon take him for a walk around town.

Next he shifted into one of the acid spitting squid fellows that he couldn’t recall the full name they’d come up with for them. Given that he couldn’t recall that, likely his approximation of one was even less accurate but he was beyond caring about perfection because it and the lead up to it didn’t feel right either. Next was the guys who shot lighting. They were pretty cool with their weird joints. If he’d gone for them first he’d have mussed about and tried to figure out the lightening thing, assuming it wasn’t magic or whatever. But as it was, he wasn’t in the mood.

By the time he was done – or more like close enough because there was no way he go the leg bones right, he couldn’t walk on them – he was almost ready to call it quits. It wasn’t working and he was bored and tired and hungry even though he’d slept last night and ate like two days ago. But this was more exhausting than he ever would’ve thought.

Groaning, he slumped into the awful cold concrete wall. This was so lame! Why did he decide to try this? Who cared if he even had a true form or what it was if so. … But he’d already committed and had only one more alien he was familiar with the shape of. Except no because there was also the little floating guys with the big brains. Ugh! But still he was close so…

With another groan, still leaning face first into the horrible wall, he started shifting again. The guys that shot the bugs weren’t too different from the lighting guys anyway so… might as well complete this just for the sake of it. So he could say he did and then next time he could try other forms, whatever came to mind… assuming there was a next time anyway because so far this was proving to be lame.

As expected, despite looking for it, no ‘right’ feeling came to him as he shifted into his best exhausted go at one of the bug shooting guys. Same with the brain guy. But finally he was done! … But actually no because he didn’t want to go out like this, couldn’t if he tried because these things obviously couldn’t walk so he hadn’t bothered to try to make leg bones that could work well. And his hands were even worse, little more than nubs because trying on them had been too much work.

And so after rolling onto his back to stare up at the now dreadful basement ceiling with it single stupid light bulb that was too damn bright hanging down with a long pull cord to turn it on and off, he started shifting again. At least for this he knew what the human skeleton looked like – there’d been models of it in several rooms in the old facility – meaning it took less mussing around until he found the right shapes. The hardest as always were the hands and feet because for some god forsaken reason they were filled with so many little bones. Getting it perfect wasn’t necessary but the hands in particular were important to get more right than not because if they were wrong it’d be harder to hold things such as game controllers. And so as always, despite how tired he was, he took extra when forming his hands.

By the time he was finally done with that and reforming his old human shape in general, he was about ready to roll over and take a nap right here on the floor. The only thing stopping him was how cold it was down here. So instead he stood and put his clothes back on.

Upon finishing he felt more right than he had since starting this wretched exercise. Maybe this was his true form after all? … Nah, he was just used to this. It was the best form for his purposes most of the time so he used it a lot and thus it felt normal and ‘right’ compared to all the shapes he’d just taken for the first time. Meaning if he had a true form, he’d still likely default to this and thus would it be worth it to continue to try and find it? Maybe not but having already put in so much time and effort failing to figure anything out made the question more annoying. It’d of course be easiest to just wait patiently until he had his records but… he wanted to know now. It wasn’t happening today no matter what though.

And so he slogged back up the stairs and through the cling-wrap still covering the doorway and the door itself. Normally phasing through things didn’t take much effort but right now… it did. Ugh. He hadn’t felt this bad since being killed on Xen. Upon waking up though, the energy boost from Xen’s air had restored him fairly well though before he’d jumped through the last portal before it could finish closing. Here though he didn’t have that, leaving him to just feel crappy for however long it would last. Ugh.

In the hall now, the TV could be heard coming from the gamer pad, its door opened Benrey crept that way, peeking his head in. Gordon and Tommy sat on the couch. On the TV was… Melee. Cool, they were playing games together. Benrey could join them… or just sit and watch.

First though, he pulled back and made his way to the kitchen. Gordon had made a point once about him trying different foods and seeing what he liked. Well it was time to do that. He opened the fridge and opened the carton of eggs. There were six left inside. A normal amount to eat? Maybe. Having experience with trying to eat pigeon eggs in the past – the gooey mess inside was kind of yucky – he went straight to swallowing these whole. Next he ate the carton.

How cold it all was, was rather unpleasant, especially after how cold the basement had been. Used to be he never thought about it or let it bother him much but now after being encouraged and allowed to bask in warmth more often, the cold felt worse by comparison. So closing the fridge, he switched to the pantry. Lots more cardboard stuff in here which was good because he liked cardboard. He settled on eating one of the two boxes of protein bars, the inside of which wasn’t to dissimilar in flavor to cardboard. The wrappers were a bit annoying but he’d survived eating far worse. To finish off his meal he went under the sink for one of his soap bars. Too tired to bother putting it in the microwave, he ate it as was.

Finally he felt a bit better; less like he was immediately going to fall over but still rather tired and worn. If he tried hard he could probably hide it but… why bother? It didn’t matter if Gordon and Tommy knew he was exhausted, right? So, dragging his feet a little, he made he way back down the hall to the gamer pad. It was getting dark out, the main source of light quickly becoming the TV. He hit the light switch as he walked in, drawing Tommy and Gordon’s gazes to him.

“Oh, hey Benrey,” Tommy said with a smile.

Benrey started for the couch. “Hey Tommy.”

“Any luck with your uh… thing?” Gordon asked.

“No.” Benrey sat next to him, right next to him. Before he could respond to that, Benrey took his arm – the right one so he wasn’t using that hand for anything anyway – and draped it around himself, allowing him pull his legs up and to press into Gordon’s side. He was warm and soft and it didn’t matter that Tommy was right there on Benrey’s other side because Tommy was cool and thus shouldn’t care that Benrey and Gordon liked to cuddle.

“Uh… okay.” Gordon was tense but shifted his arm around Benrey to hold him a bit more securely regardless. “First of all, you’re fucking freezing.”

“Mm-hmm.” That’s certainly how Benrey would describe it.

“Second, are you… shorter?”

“Maybe.” Probably. He hadn’t exactly been focused on reforming to the same exact size and shape. And thus since the last form he’d tried had been only a bit bigger than as small as he could go, he likely hadn’t made himself the same height as before. That was fine though. Being tall was good for intimidating people but being short was good for being annoying. The latter was more fun most of the time, certainly with Gordon, which was why he’d defaulted to being shorter than him pretty earlier on. Being even shorter now would maybe make him more annoying.

“And uh… are you okay? This isn’t like you.”

“Just tired and cold.” And frustrated over having spent almost the entire day doing something that proved to have not only been a stupid waste of time but was also exhausting.

“All right then.” Gordon didn’t sound too sure but he relaxed a little more anyway.

“You guys have um… grown awfully close, huh?” Tommy said.

“I guess so, yeah,” Gordon replied. “Maybe don’t uh… tell the others. Not that it’s bad or… or shameful or anything like that, just… you know how Bubby is sometimes and Dr. Coomer’s uh… he can be kinda weird too.”

“I won’t tell, promise. But it’s nice to see you’ve become good friends now even if uh… you’re a bit closer than I’d thought. That’s nice too though.”

It was nice, very nice. Nice enough that if Tommy weren’t there, Benrey might have just crawled into Gordon’s lap at this point before purring himself the rest of the way to sleep against his chest. But there were limits to what he was willing to do even with Tommy as the only witness and that crossed them, especially the purring. He’d tried several times in the past to get rid of whatever inside him made the purring noise but it just seemed to be something his body could do in any form he had that breathed which was all of them because it was too uncomfortable not to for longer than an hour or two.

“Anyway, Benrey,” Gordon nudged him slightly, “remember how I promised I’d get a Play Station 3? Well I finally did it. Got your Heavenly Sword game too.”

That was about the only thing that could rouse Benrey from his exhausted slump. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“We even set it up,” Tommy added, “it’s got internet and everything.”

“Play Station Plus?”

“Of course.”

Benrey had to hold back the urge to burst into purring after all. “Ooh you’re the best. Tommy you too, you’re the second best. I wanna play it.”

“We’re not particularly attached to this match so sure, go for it.” Gordon moved his arm, allowing Benrey to get up easier. Leaving his warmth sucked but it was Play Station and Heavenly Sword, finally.

***

Not long after Tommy eventually left due to how late it was getting, Benrey shifted from just leaning into Gordon’s side with his arm around him to sitting in his lap. He didn’t pause his game for even a second or two during the switch either, impressive. With how he only ever seemed to weigh half of what he should, it was a non-issue, especially being noticeably a little shorter. How much would be hard to say until they stood next to each other again but it was almost certainly a thing.

Unsure where else to put his arms now, Gordon wrapped them around Benrey. And even more intimate position but not really new except for the fact that they were doing it on the couch. Also new to the couch was… Benrey starting to purr. Which erased the lingering awkwardness that perhaps Gordon was the only one who’d even felt. If they cuddled in bed why couldn’t they cuddle on the couch sometimes too?

Just two friends cuddling, nothing weird about that. … Okay maybe it was a little weird but only because of what society defined as appropriate behavior between friends being so needlessly strict. They were just friends, nothing more going on here. Even if the sound and feel of Benrey purring kinda made Gordon wish he could purr too so he could express how good this felt without having to say the words. Words were hard and weird.

As pleasant as it was though, Benrey’s game play was flagging. It had been for a while, getting worse and worse as his evident exhaustion continued to drag at him once the rush of his excitement had started to wear off. His head was lolling too, he had to jerk it back up every few seconds.

“You’re tired.” Gordon kept his voice low but Benrey still seemed to almost flinch a little at it.

“A bit, yeah, but I’m fine. I can keep playing.” Even his voice sounded sleepy. It was late so that made sense but… he’d been asleep when Gordon woke this morning, meaning he shouldn’t be tired. But even on nights he did need sleep, he’d never seemed this tired.

“Shape shifting took a lot out of you, huh?”

Benrey’s purring stuttered but didn’t stop. “Yeah.”

Maybe that was why he hadn’t wanted Gordon to watch. Part of it anyway. Likely it was also more of that not wanting to be put in a metaphorical glass box and made to perform thing. It would be nice to know more. Like what kind of approach he was taking to finding his true form, what all shapes did he try so far, why exactly it had taken most of the day and left him so exhausted. Now wasn’t a good time to ask and perhaps never would be. If he wanted to share he had to know by now Gordon would be interested in hearing so asking would just be nosy. So instead…

“Probably time to head to bed.” It was still only a bit less than an hour earlier than their normal usually Benrey impose bed time, but Gordon was feeling rather sleepy. Probably due to Benrey’s purring. It was more soothing than a cat’s purring and that was saying something.

“Nah, I can play a bit longer. I’ve been waiting for this for so long.”

“You’ve already played for hours though and it’ll still be here tomorrow. So it’s finally my turn to insist on bedtime. You don’t get to say ‘no’ ‘cause you never let me say ‘no’.”

“Yeah, ‘cause you could die if you don’t sleep, I can’t. … Or don’t think I can. But even if I can uh… I’ll come back.”

Instead of pointing out that just because he could come back from the dead didn’t mean that that death wouldn’t suck or that he deserved rest even if only because being tired was unpleasant, Gordon shifted his hold on him and stood, transferring him into a bridal carry. He let out a small yelp, his purring cutting out. A shame but it had to be done. “You can play more tomorrow, I promise. It’ll give you something to do while I’m at work looking for your stuff.”

“But… I don’t wanna.”

As much as Gordon liked the idea of carrying Benrey to bed and dropping him on it just because he could, Benrey still held the controller, the console and TV needed to be turned off and Gordon needed to get ready for bed. None of which he could do with only one real hand and his arms full of Benrey so he gently lowered to him his feet instead. He was indeed shorter. Where before he’d come up to Gordon’s shoulder he was now only up to mid-chest height. It was… cute; he was cute. No need to say that out loud though even if the temptation to had hit with the thought. Thank goodness he’d thought before speaking.

“I know but I’m going to bed so… you know,” he said instead. “You really do help a lot.” He wasn’t entirely nightmare free but even on the now rare instance in which he did have one, Benrey was always right nearby to make it better and help him fall back asleep.

“Damn it, fine. Bedtime. Only ‘cause I like you.”

“Thanks. I like you too.” It was true but for some reason saying it out loud felt… weird. Like the words were heavier than he’d intended. Thankfully Benrey didn’t seem to notice as he turned away to look at the TV again, allowing him to navigate to the ‘save and quit’ button in the menu. Shaking it off, Gordon turned and headed to get ready for bed. Probably it had felt weird because he was tired.

~

Next Chapter

[rowanaelinn]

Illicit Affairs - Chapter Fourty-Seven

Masterlist

A/N: I know it’s been a while I’m so sorry!!! But even if you hate me after this chapter, can you wish me luck? I’m taking my third driver test tomorrow and I would really like to pass this time LMAOO

Warnings: general dose of angst | Word Count: 6,000

December 24th,

Aelin threw herself on the bed she was sharing with her cousin, finally wrapped her in her warm pajamas, and let out the longest breath known to mankind. Aedion was sitting the same way she did, staring at the wall.

“I had sex with Rowan,” she said, feeling like in a confessional. Except that instead of a priest, she confessed to her cousin. Some people could find it weird, but this thing felt too heavy to keep to herself, and she was sure something was also bothering him.

He didn’t even look at her. He only said, “I kissed Fenrys.” Her head shot to the side, her eyes the size of flying saucers. But he kept his gaze on the wall, then kept going, “And then I told him to never speak to me again.”

“Oh,” she breathed.

Was she in the place to ask any questions? He hadn’t for her, she would allow him the same courtesy.

She thought she understood. He’d been broken once. And even if she was sure Fenrys would never hurt him the way Lysandra had… She had never thought Lysandra capable of doing what she did either. In the end, they never knew who someone really was.

Fuck, Aelin was just figuring herself out.

“We’re fucked,” she said.

“Yep,” he nodded. “We are.”

“Maybe it’s our genes,” she said. “There must be something bad about those Ashryver genes, because there’s no way so many shitty things happen to us at random.”

He snorted. “So it’s either you die, you end up being a cunt like your mother or life screws you over and over again. Wyrd help us, the eyes aren’t worth all this shit.”

And she couldn’t help it, she laughed. Loudly. Because that was true, the pretty eyes weren’t worth all that pain.

----

March 7th,

“This one, maybe?” Helia pointed out toward the ugliest dog Aelin had ever seen. Truly, she felt mean to say it, but it was the truth. She was sure this dog was very nice, but it was old. She was sure that with a little brushing it’d be prettier, but one look at its age was enough for Aelin to shake her head and grab Helia’s hand to walk away. Aelin’s heart squeezed in her chest at the idea of leaving any dog behind… If she had more money, if she didn’t live in an apartment, she would adopt them all.

But she’d already struggled to have Aedion accept to adopt one little beast, she wouldn’t push her luck.

If there was one good side of being heartbroken, it was how lonely both cousins felt. Sure, they had each other to rely on, but there was just so much physical contact she could take with that brute. She’d always wanted a dog, but her mother had always refused to adopt one. In university it would have been impossible to have a dog on campus, and now… Well, now felt like a good moment to make a permanent decision.

It was either that or a tattoo, and Helia was a little too young to get tattooed with her, so adopting a dog it was. It was her weekend with the little girl, and she really had wanted her to choose with her. It felt like a decision to make with Helia. Aedion was trailing behind them, eying the animals warily. “I don’t get why you don’t want a cat, it’s more independent.”

She rolled her eyes, “That’s the point, Aed. I want cuddles, lots of cuddles.”

“Cuddles!” Helia screamed excitedly, clapping in her hands. “I love cuddles.”

“You do?” Aelin asked, surprised. “I never would have guessed that. You never hug me.”

Helia’s eyes widened. “No! Not true!” But for good measure, the girl threw her arms around Aelin’s leg, hugging her so strongly that Aelin couldn’t move anymore. Aedion caught up to their side, chuckling at the little girl. Though it squeezed something in Aelin’s chest as she saw how much Helia had grown up in more than a year. Fuck, it’s been than a year since she met the girl. More than a year since she…

No, she wouldn’t go down that train of thought. Not now.

“We have a few dogs waiting outside if you’d like,” an employee smiled at them. They’d chosen to go to a refuge which didn’t keep dogs or cats or other animals in cages. It was sort of a house, with two dogs sharing each room. Apparently, there were activities in the garden as well. “Yes!” Helia jumped away from Aelin’s legs.

“We’d love to,” Aelin confirmed.

“I’ll show you,” the woman said.

Aelin went to grab Helia’s hand, but the little girl already had her arms in the air, her eyes pleading as she silently asked Aelin to pick her up. She was tired, Aelin should have expected that. They’d been out for a while, having grabbed an ice-cream on the way there. “Mommy?”

Aelin’s heart nearly leaped out of her chest, but she smiled at Helia and turned around, lowering so Helia could jump on her back. Aelin wasn’t strong enough to hold her in another way. When she stood, there was something strange in Aedion’s eyes. Something like worry, and maybe some hints of pity. She’d told him about her infertility. He’d been there for her when she got her eggs frozen, even if she still had chosen Fenrys as a doctor. Aedion had ignored him, much to Fenrys’ dismay. But he’d been there for her, offering her his support. It meant a lot more than he knew.

She winked at him and smiled, reassuring him. Helia still called her mommy sometimes, even if Aelin thought it would stop now that they didn’t see each other as much as they used to.

Helia had her arms wrapped around her neck and she rested her head on her shoulder, as Aelin admired how pretty that house’s garden was. She loved her apartment, it started to somewhat feel like home, but she missed running in Rowan’s garden, playing hide-and-seek with Helia.

There were indeed three dogs playing with a man, the three of them with dark fur. But the dog that caught her eyes was the little golden pup, eyeing the three other dogs as if it wished to join in the fun, without ever daring. “What about this one?” Aelin asked to the woman.

“Oh! She’s a little lost. She’s relatively new here, but she seems to be afraid of the others. It makes her integration somewhat complicated.”

The eyes of that dog… Gods, they seemed so sad. “Can we pet her?”

The woman’s face lightened. “Of course! She would love that. Usually, when people see an unsociable dog, they don’t want to get anywhere near it.”

“Assholes,” Aedion grunted from her side, and the woman nodded though she made no comments.

Carefully and instructing Helia to control how loud her voice was, they approached the dog. She was sitting near a tree, and made no attempt to move before Aelin kneeled in front of her, Helia landing on her feet. Aelin held up her hand for the dog to sniff, and after it did just that, Aelin let out a surprised yelp as the dog licked her stand, stood and nuzzled her hand away so she could nearly jump onto her.

Aelin laughed as she sat, the dog licking her face as Aelin petted her.

“She loves you,” the woman laughed, kneeling near Helia to instruct her how to pet the dog.

She wasn’t too big, that was a good point. And she seemed very affectionate. Aelin couldn’t lie and say she hadn’t developed a soft spot for the dog the moment she heard her story. “I love her, too.”

Even Aedion kneeled on the other side, and he scratched the golden pup behind her ear. He nodded at Aelin, and her smile turned big. “What do you think, Lia? Do we like her?”

Helia’s big, doe-like green eyes were shining with joy. Aelin felt complete when she saw the girl so happy, especially when it was thanks to her help. She nodded, “I love her!” She repeated what Aelin had just said. “What’s her name?”

The woman from the refuge smiled sadly. “We have no idea, we found her lost in a forest. I’ve called her willow, but we decided to let her new owner choose.”

“Any ideas?” Aelin asked Helia. Willow was a pretty name, but if the girl had a specific name in mind…

Her toothless smile was to cute not to mirror it. “Can we name her Fleetfoot?”

Alright… That was something for sure but… Aedion ruffled the girl’s hair, “Fleetfoot it is.”

---

May 4th,

Aelin’s head was pounding, or maybe it was a fist on the door. But as she opened her eyes, she quickly realized that it was both. Her vision was blurry, and yet she still stood and walked to the door. Shit, the apartment was a mess. They had partied a little too hard last night. Fenrys was asleep on the first couch, with his head resting on Aedion’s stomach, who was also laid on the couch. She didn’t remember what happened last night, but the mark on Fenrys’s neck told her that she didn’t want to know.

Aelin herself had slept against Dorian’s shoulder, the two of them sharing the second couch. Dorian spent more and more time here lately, ever since he also quit med school and broke up with his girlfriend, Manon. She didn’t really know why, just that the woman wasn’t ready for commitment.

And while they’d been breaking their backs sleeping on couches, the two couples had slept in the bedrooms. Elide and Lorcan in Aelin’s, and Connall and Vaughan in Aedion’s.

She hadn’t known they’d be there last night; she’d come home ready to cry herself to sleep, but when she opened her door… Well, that had been a good way to change her mind. And now, for two years in a row, she hadn’t been sad for her birthday. That was quite an accomplishment. Though when she remembered where she’d been a year before… She shook her head, opening the door, only for her heart to nearly stop.

Her father was standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers in his hand. With a tentative smile, he said, “Happy late birthday, princess.”

“Dad,” she breathed, suddenly feeling self-conscious about the way she was dressed. The shirt was pretty long, but still, maybe she should have put pants on. “What are you doing here?”

He looked as embarrassed as she felt, and he eyed her apartment warily. That really was the worst time for a visit. “I wanted to visit yesterday, but Aedion told me not to,” he chuckled then. “I understand why, now.”

“What are you doing here?” She repeated, still a bit confused.

“It was your birthday. I-I wanted to be there, so maybe we could spend some time together. But if you don’t want to, it’s okay.”

“No,” she rushed to say. “I’d love to.” It was nice, she thought, to see him there. To know he thought about her.

He smiled, letting out a little relieved sighed. “Good, would you like to go walk somewhere?”

“Sure,” she smiled. “Just, let me get dressed. And can I bring my dog?” Fleetfoot loved to go out and walk with Aelin. The once very small, tiny dog she’d adopted is now huge, always stealing Aedion’s bed.

“You have a--,” he stopped himself. “Sure, Aelin. Take your time.”

She gave him a small, shy smile and let him in. He looked scared at the state of her apartment, and it somehow made her smile, reminding her of all the times he came back home to a very messy house when she was a teenager. His eyebrows shot up at Aedion and Fenrys, and Aelin said, “Don’t frown at the state of your doctors, they’re not working.”

He chuckled, “I can see that.”

---

Aelin was feeling emotional and held back her tears as she walked through the park where her father used to take her and Celaena when they were kids. He used to drive all the way there just so they could throw bread at the ducks. Aelin was watching Fleetfoot run while she sat on a bench, her father next to her.

“I didn’t know you were having a party,” he said. “I mean, you didn’t have to tell me.”

“I didn’t know, either,” she told him. “Aedion surprised me.”

“I am happy that you have him,” he said, laying a hand on her knee, then squeezing. “He treats you well.”

“He really told you to not come yesterday?”

“He said that you had plans, and that you might not be up for a visit from me on that day.”

She chewed on her bottom lip. “It’s always a hard day.”

“You don’t need to explain,” he smiled. “It’s the reason why I asked Aedion beforehand, I want to do things on your terms now.”

She nodded, fighting the tears even more. They weren’t bad tears; she was just feeling a lot. The meds she’d been prescribed didn’t help, either. They helped her get out of bed every morning, but they also made her feel more sensitive. “What did you do yesterday?”

There was a flash of silver in his brown eyes, and he said, “I flew to Terrasen. I wanted to be with Celaena a little. I have… I have been doing this quite a lot lately, if I must be honest.”

“Oh,” she breathed. Her sister hadn’t been alone yesterday, then. That was good. “Does it help you?”

He nodded, “Yeah. I keep telling her how sorry I am, honestly, I just sound like a broken record there, but… I will never say it enough.” He winced, then said, “I wanted to move her. To Doranelle, so she could be with the whole family. It wasn’t my decision to leave her there, but your mother she’s been…”

“Celaena will be in Doranelle?” Aelin breathed.

Something in his face shattered. “They need the authorization of both parents, and your mother is—”

“A bitch,” she snapped, her tempter rising. “She’s just a cruel bitch.”

He didn’t say anything else other than, “I’m sorry.”

She shrugged. She’d asked him once, when she’d picked up the phone in his many attempts to call her, how the divorce was going. He said that her mother made it hard, that she was trying to take everything from him. She hadn’t lost her job at the hospital, she had no idea how, but she wasn’t at the top of the hierarchy anymore. That’s all she knew, and all she wanted to know.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Anything,” he said.

She played with her fingers as she said, “I understand how you pulled away after Celaena died. I did, too. We all grieve differently, and I’m pasted that. But… But you knew how Evalin was cruel with me. And I believe you when you say that you love me, so why have you never done anything?”

He looked away, as if he was ashamed, before he turned his eyes back on her. “I have no excuses. I hate myself for it, and I don’t deserve forgiveness. But the only explanation I can give you, was that your mother… She wasn’t only cruel to you. The few times I brought it up, she threatened to leave and take you away. And I—I don’t know. It somehow shut me up every time. Again, Aelin, this is on me. I can’t give you excuses that’d be convincing enough.”

The tears escaped her eyes then, and she didn’t wipe them off. She knew that she wouldn’t have liked the answer in anyway. But… “Thank you for being honest. You weren’t the father of the year but deserved better than Evalin. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” he said, voice clouded with emotions. “Don’t apologize to me, Aelin.”

“Alright,” she let out a long breath, wiping away the tears. She had to stop crying, for fuck sake.

“It’s okay,” he squeezed her knee again. “Tell me about yesterday, who was there?”

When she told him, he frowned, “No Dr. Whitethorn?”

Her stomach dropped at the name but she shook her head.

“I thought he’d be there, since you’re invol—”

“We haven’t been involved for almost a year, dad. I thought you knew that.”

“Oh,” he breathed. She hadn’t told him, but she thought someone else had. “What happened?”

Her laugh was sad. “He left me, and I’m a child about it because I can’t fucking get over it.”

“When?”

Her side-eyed look was enough for him to understand that she meant the night at her parents’ house. “Aelin,” he breathed. “He had no other choice.”

She shook her head, “You don’t get it.”

“Not everyone is me, Aelin. Not everyone is your mother.”

“Dad—”

“No,” he grabbed her hand. “Look at me.” She did. “I made him run that night. I’m so sorry, but he wanted to stay. The next day he was the one to yell at me, he had a goddamn lawyer ready, Aelin. This is why I thought you were together, because he fought for you.”

“What?” she breathed.

He’d told her. He said that he would have come back after the stalker had been dealt with; but she hadn’t been sure if she believed him. But if he truly had fought for her… Why hadn’t he said it?

She shook her head. “It’s… It’s not only that. I love him too much.”

He frowned, “What is that supposed to mean? There’s no such thing as loving too much.”

She scoffed, calling Fleetfoot so she could have some comfort from the lovely dog. She hadn’t planning on having a heart-to-heart with her father today. Hell, her head was still pounding, her body still feeling like death. The dog laid her head on Aelin, allowing her to pet her.

“There is when you’re me. I solely focus on him, so much that I start neglecting myself. I believe that if he is here then I’ll be fine, that if he is here, I’m protected and nothing can hurt me. I forgot about how you both hurt me for a while when I was with him, until that night. For a while, I just sat in my fucking car, and I realized I had nothing to go back to, dad. I was in a fight with Aedion, I kept so many secrets from my friends that they barely felt like my friends, then one of them betrayed me… I had to go to the house of a man who barely tolerate me, Dad. I just… I can’t love healthily.”

“You’re right,” he said, voice slightly quivering. “You can’t love yourself healthily. Not the others. The love you tell me about, it’s the purest kind of love that exists. It’s the kind of love I wish I’d been able to show you, that I wish I was able to show anyone. The problem isn’t with how you love Rowan,” he said, as if saying his name felt strange on his tongue. It must be. “It’s with yourself, and I know it’s my fault, but stop punishing yourself.”

She shook her head, tears spilling once more. “It’s not as easy.”

“I’m proud of you for looking for a better, healthier love. But, are you happy, princess? I understand pulling away to heal, but are you truly healing if you’re stopping yourself from being with someone you love?”

“I’m messy,” she breathed.

“You’re lovely, and pure, and too good. Start treating yourself with more love, Aelin.”

She wiped her tears away. Maybe he was right. She tried her best. She went to school, she became closer to Fenrys and Dorian and Elide, she took care of Helia… Every day, she fought to get out of bed and make the best out of a good day. But maybe… If she’d let Rowan in again, it would be easier. Maybe she couldn’t forget that night he left, but she could forgive him.

“I’ll call him tonight,” she said, and her father smile.

---

“Aelin!” A high, loud voice squealed the moment she opened the door and faster that she had any right to be, Helia threw herself at Aelin. Surprise hit her as hard as the little girl did, what was she doing here? Aelin had been drunk out of her mind yesterday, but she was positive the little girl hadn’t been there.

Fleetfoot ran into the apartment, going to sniff a very well dressed Loren. He hadn’t been there either… What was going on?

“Buttercup!” Aelin smiled, kneeling at Helias height. “What are you doing here?”

“Happy birthday!” She placed a bit, wet kiss on her cheek, and Aelin felt her heart fill with warmth. Last she heard, the two kids were having a sleepover at Rowan’s last night, and she only understood why when Vaughan and Connall showed up in her living room.

There was as if hope took over the beating of her heart. If they had been at Rowan’s then he must have driven the kids there, right? She stood, grabbing Helia and holding her close. But as she walked in the living room, there was no trace of Rowan. She tried, she really tried to not show her disappointment show, but from the other side of the room, Fenrys’s eyes on her felt heavy.  

Loren rushed to Aelin as well, hugging her legs. Gods, that boy was too cute to be true. She hadn’t seen him for a year, but he was always showing up in the video calls his fathers gave her. “Happy birthday, Aelin,” he squeezed his arms around her legs. “We came to play board games!”

Aelin chuckled, her eyes looking fondly at Aedion, who mouthed happy birthday. She grinned, and then her cousin’s gaze slipped behind her, and then she realized that her father was still there. She set Helia back on her feet, and the two kids ran toward Aelin’s bedroom.

Aelin turned around, looking at her father. He looked really uncomfortable, especially pinned under Lorcan’s gaze. She had no idea what that was about. She didn’t expect Lorcan Salvaterre to take her defense out of everyone. Her father was still holding the bouquet of pink and purple flowers he’d bought her, she’d asked him to as Fleetfoot was quite a handful to deal with.

She grabbed the flowers, walking into the kitchen to fill a pot with flowers, her father on her heels. “I really like them,” she said, filling in the silence between them. The apartment was small, and everyone could hear or see them. She supposed it was a surprise for them to see him there. Maybe Aedion hadn’t told them, or her father hadn’t really warned that he’d come today.

She didn’t fail to notice that the flowers were what used to be hers and Celaena’s favorite color. Her taste had changed… but she appreciated the gesture.

“You could stay, you know,” she said.

He shook his head, giving her a little embarrassed smile. “Enjoy an afternoon with your family, it’s okay.”

In a way, she was happy that he refused. It broke her heart, how he didn’t consider himself part of her family. But maybe she was part of his, and there was still work for him to be part of hers.

He waved at her, on his way to leave, but before he could, “Dad?”

He turned around, facing her with an expression of wonder on his face. She hesitated for a second, until she decided to fuck it all. She wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging her father for the first time in year. Tears burned her eyes as she said, “Thank you for today.”

“Anytime, princess,” he breathed, hugging her back. They let go of each other after a while, and she gave him a tentative smile.

“Do you think we could do that again someday?”

He smiled at her, “I would love to, Aelin.”

---

After showing the world how much of a sore loser she was, Aelin decided to cook something for everyone before they leave, going back home. Her cooking capacities had somewhat developed, at least enough that she had made Bolognese. And since nobody was spitting what was in their plate, she supposed she hadn’t done such a bad job.

Fenrys was in a vivid tale of how his patient’s husband started hitting on him right in front of his wife, and Aelin’s belly hurt at how much she laughed. Even in her laughter, Aelin couldn’t ignore the looks Fenrys threw toward Aedion, as if making sure he was making him jealous. Compared to how cozy they were that morning, it was almost as if the two of them couldn’t seat far enough for each other. Or more like Aedion couldn’t sit far enough from Fenrys, who made it his job to taunt her cousin.

She wouldn’t even ask what happened the night before, she’d been too busy dancing with Helia and Vaughan—whose hips could move very beautifully—to look at the two of them.

Aelin was sitting with Helia on her lap. She was five now. Older than the three years old she’d met, and yet the girl still wanted to snuggle with Aelin to eat. Maybe it was a little disgusting, but they shared a plate. Less washing to do later, and it wasn’t like Helia ate a lot. She took a big mouthful of pasta, and red sauce was all around her mouth as she chewed. Aelin chuckled, using a napkin to clean her up. Her dramatic self, Helia sighed and let her body fall against Aelin’s torso. “I missed Bolognese.” She could say Bolognese without any problem now, and Aelin wanted to congratulate her on it.

“What do you mean baby, you haven’t eaten that in a while?” She remembered Rowan cooking that once a week, mainly because it was one of Helia’s and Aelin’s favorite.

“No,” the girl shook her head grabbing the big glass of water with her tiny hands.

“How so?” Maybe Rowan got sick of it. Though she couldn’t imagine him deprive Helia from her favorite food just because he didn’t like it anymore. He was… selfless that way. He loved her that much.

Fuck, she missed him.

That convo with her dad really messed her up. She had the urge to grab her phone and call him now but… she wanted peace when she made that call.

“Remelle doesn’t like it, so Daddy doesn’t cook it anymore,” Helia sighed, shrugging a little.

Aelin’s stomach dropped as she heard what Helia said. And as if everyone heard as well, all side-conversation stopped. The silence was deafening, and the two kids were oblivious to it.

“Remelle?” Aelin asked, though her voice was a little too wobbly for her liking. She looked around, and no one dared to look at her, except Aedion who was as confused as her. The only one who dared to look at her was Fenrys, and his eyes… they looked sad.

“Daddy’s friend,” Helia answered, and there was something about her tone Aelin didn’t enjoy. Maybe… dislike? “She sleeps over all the time.”  

She was going to be sick. She looked around, and none of the people who lived in Doranelle dared to make eye contact. They’d known. They’d known and they didn’t tell her.

Aelin’s heart was beating too fast, her vision turned blurry and she felt dizzy. And yet, she did her smile to lean in and kiss Helia’s cheek. “You can have all the Bolognese you want here, baby.”

Aelin didn’t last more than a minute before she stood, helping Helia to seat before she went into her room. It took energy to not slam her door. Instead she sat on her bed, staring into the void.

Remelle.

She remembered now.

Dr. Flores.

Blonde, beautiful. Age appropriate.

He moved on. He moved on with her.

She was truly going to be sick. Just as she thought about rushing to the bin under her desk, her door opened. She thought Aedion would be the one to join her, but she was wrong.

Fenrys was there.

“Get out,” she breathed.

“Aelin,” he said, tentatively, closing the door behind her.

“You knew,” she said, not loudly but with bite. “You didn’t tell me.”

“You were doing good, Lin,” he said, taking a step in her direction. “I didn’t know for sure, Rowan isn’t the type to confirm or answer our questions. And you were doing better…”

“How long.” She demanded.

“Aelin.”

“How fucking long, Fenrys?” She snapped.

“We noticed them getting closer around a month ago.”

Her heart missed a beat. A month. He’d kept that from her for a month. And in the meantime, he kept convincing her to take him back. She didn’t know what her feelings were now. If she was angry or sad.

“Call him now,” he urged her. “Call him now and he will ditch her.”

“You’re a dick.”

“Call him now, Aelin. He will, just call him and he will. I know that he will today, but I’m unsure on what he would do in the future. You need to wake up now if you still want him, and we both know you do.”

“Get the fuck out of here,” she snapped.

He frowned, his head cocking to the side. “I don’t get you, Aelin. Sometimes, I can’t understand.”

“I’m trying to deal with my emotions, Fenrys, and I can’t do this if you’re here,” she hissed.

“Dealing with your emotions, is that how you call this? You’re just compartmentalizing, entirely ignoring some parts of your problems.”

“Like what?” She shouted, too lost in these waves of distress to care.

“Like the fact that he’s waited for almost a year and you’ve ignored him, but the moment he moves on it seems like a problem,” he snapped back. “You need to choose. You want him or you don’t, because Aelin, if you keep waiting you might lose him.”

Breathing was hard, and it was as it an entire building crumbled onto her as she breathed, “He told me he couldn’t wait anymore. I told him I wouldn’t come back.” Her friend’s face turned sympathetic, and her voice broke as she breathed, “I didn’t believe him. I-I hoped.”

“Call him,” Fenrys said, holding out his phone. “Call him, and tell him.”

She looked at the phone for a second, wondering what would happen. Could she call him, really? Would she call him, ask him to ruin the little happiness he’s found, only so she can bring her mess back into his life?

Then, she shook her head. “I’d like you to leave.”

“Aelin,” he breathed.

She shook her head, “I don’t want to speak to you anymore.” He’d known. He should have told her, no matter how much he wanted to protect her. She was so, so tired of being protected. Of being weak.

He laughed, but the sound was sour. “You want to push me away from your life, too? When will it stop Aelin, when only Aedion’s left, huh?”

She looked away. She didn’t deserve his friendship, didn’t deserve his time. She wasn’t a good person. Wasn’t good for anyone. He shouldn’t have had to protect her.

“You think I don’t know why? You rely on Aedion because he’s as lonely as you. He won’t leave you, and you won’t leave him. You’re using each other as life buoys, and you push away anyone else. You can’t ignore the world outside.”

“Leave,” she said, voice firm. “I don’t want to see anyone,” she slipped under her blanket and didn’t come out of it for an entire weekend.

---

June 10th,

“I had fun, you know,” he said in her ear, helping her put her coat back on. She gave him a shy, timid smile.

“It was a nice evening,” she nodded, taking a deep breath as they stepped out of the restaurant. Even for a month of June, the air was quite cold. Hence, the coat. She usually disliked wearing one, it always ruined an outfit. She rather not get sick, though. So, she put on a goddamn coat.

“Can I walk you back to your car?” He asked.

He was cute. Pretty, even. She’d met him in class, and he’d been the first person to approach her. She’d been wary at first… The last time she befriended someone in class, it hadn’t ended well. For months he did his best to befriend her, and while she didn’t reject him, she wasn’t exactly warm. Then, before Yulemas, he’d asked her on a date. She refused. He did it again a few months later, and she gave him the same excuse. I’m not ready.

He was perfectly content to keep their friendship intact. Until a month ago. She called him, asking if he was still up for a date. She’d never heard Sam’s voice so joyful. He was funny, and a good man.

Now, three dates later, Aelin enjoyed his company. She didn’t love it, and she didn’t crave it so much that she felt as if she needed him. But maybe this was a more realistic kind of relationship for someone as messed up as Aelin.

The walk to her car hadn’t been long, and they stood there. “You look beautiful,” he praised her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Thank you,” she smiled, waiting for a blush to spread in her cheeks but it didn’t happen.

He was standing close to her, and his gaze lowered on her lips. He wetted his own, taking a deep breath, and she knew what he would ask before he even opened his mouth.

“Can I kiss you?”

For someone who had had sex in a bathroom before the first date, and who had grinded on a guy during their first date, it was strangely chaste of her to never having kissed Sam before. Not a single time before or after their first two dates, but she knew she would break this circle today. After all, she had to move on.

She took a deep breath of her own and nodded, and the next second his wet lips were on hers. And she felt… nothing. It would come, she told herself. She rose on her toes, parting her lips for him.

He groaned, pushing her against her car. His hands stayed in appropriate places, on her waist, but she could feel things heat up.

This wasn’t…

She didn’t want to have sex with him. Didn’t want to kiss him. Not now. Was he kissing her? Having sex with her? If he didn’t… Didn’t she have to, as well? She had to move on as well, she had to prove to herself that—

She pushed Sam away, a little breathless. “I’m sorry.”

“Have I hurt you?” He asked, pulling back, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. He really liked her and she… She didn’t. It wasn’t fair.

“I don’t think it’s going to—” She was cut off by her phone ring. Great. Amazing. She was trying to communicate, goddamn it. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said as she grabbed her phone from her handbag, frowning at the name showing up.

Fenrys.

They hadn’t been in contact for almost a month. Well, he did try to call. She was the one dodging his calls. Not every good behavior for the new Aelin, but she didn’t care. She was ashamed, and sad, and mad.

She didn’t want to speak to him now. She hung up, and turned her eyes back on Sam. “Sorry, just a friend.” She winced. “I was saying, you’re great and I—”

Her phone rang again, and Fenrys’ name showed up again. Alright, that wasn’t normal. Usually, he called once. If he really was in a mood, he sent her a selfie of his puppy face. But he never called twice in a row. Two calls in a row were reserved for bad news only; she’d heard enough of those to know.

The last time, she’d answered one of Fenrys’ call late at night, Rowan had cut his hand. This couldn’t be worse than that. She was sure of it. For all she knew, it wasn’t bad. Her bad days were over.

“You can answer,” Sam said, voice kind. “You look anxious.”

She winced again. “I’m sorry, I’ll cut this short, I promise.”

He smiled, unbothered. Fuck, she hated what she was about to tell him. He didn’t deserve that.

She took a few steps away from Sam, answering her phone. “What do you want?”

“Aelin,” he breathed, and her spine straightened. He sounded like he was… crying. “It’s Helia, she’s hurt,” he broke down then, crying on the phone. “We don’t know what’s going to happen.”

It was as if Aelin’s world came crashing down. She had flashes. Flashes of her aunt’s dead body in her casket. Flashes of Celaena in that red water. No.

Not again.

Please, she thought as tears spilled down her cheeks. Please, not again.

She couldn’t say anything. Couldn’t breathe anymore. She barely felt Sam’s hands on her shoulder, barely felt him take the phone from her before she threw up on the street, begging the Gods she’d stopped to believe in so long ago.

••••••

@sheharahu // @morganofthewildfire // @thestoriesyoutell // @fromthelibraryofemilyj // @swankii-art-teacher // @itsforeverinnocent-blog // @becarefuloflove // @imnotsogoodatthis // @rowaelinismyotp // @a-court-of-milkandhoney // @feysand-loml // @elentiyawhitethorn // @live-the-fangirl-life // @story-scribbler // @loves-books // @fangirlprincess09 // @theysayitscrazy // @danibutterr // @endlessdaydream // @thegreyj // @gracie-rosee // @acreativelydifferentlove // @cretaceous-therapod // @louphantomdragon // @mis-lil-red // @backtobl4ck // @whoever-you-choose-to-love // @lemonade-coolattas // @mad-madeline-ace // @the-introverted-bibliophile // @leiawritesstories // @emilyoftheshadows // @anniesbookshelf // @rainbowcheetah512 // @astra-ad-mare // @story-scribbler // @superspiritfestival // @wordsafterhours // @rowaelinrambling // @black-daisy-water // @fireheart-violet // @livsdriverslicense // @charlizeed // @ladykreads // @mariamuses // @autumnbabylon // @justreadertings // @highqueenofelfhame // @earthtolinds // @bowdawn // @psychopath-at-heart // @ginnyweasley06 // @cookiemonsterwholovesbooks

[clone-anon]

Rex x Reader (in a wheelchair)

Here is a request that I got and was asked to post anonymously.

I really would like a story where reader is struggling with chronic pain from a old injury which makes them struggle to feel useful or even desirable,preferably reader as a wheelchair user? Since I myself use a wheelchair and sometimes feel pretty left out in reader fics :/

Also I would like reader/cody or reader/rex (romanticly?)

It had taken you a long time to find a place to live that was accessible for you and your wheelchair. From making sure you could reach the knobs on the sink, to having lower storage areas, and a functional kitchen, now that you had a place that worked for you, you spent a lot of time there.  That also meant Rex spent a lot of time there.

You’d just finished dinner one day and he took the plates to the sink, quickly cleaning up.

“I can do that,” you said, trying not to get frustrated.

“Mesh’la,” he replied. “You already made dinner. It’s the least I can do.  Even if you hadn’t, I’m happy to do this.”  He looked over at you and felt some of your frustration. “What is it?”

He sat down next to you and held your hand.  You weren’t sure what to say, not wanting to seem too insecure.

“I don’t feel well today. The pain is particularly bad right now, but I don’t want to let that stop me. I... we spend so much time here because of...” you gestured to your body and sighed.

“Hey.” He quietly reached over to caress your face.  He kissed your cheek softly. “I like being here with you. You’re the most beautiful person to me. I like cleaning up after dinner and then snuggling with you on the couch. I like holding you and kissing you and doing whatever it takes to make you happy.  You don’t have to earn enough ‘usefulness points’ to be worthy.” He paused for a little while and squeezed your hand.  “And if you want to go out some night, let’s find some places we can go to last minute so we can have a list of things to try when you feel up for it.”

You looked at him and smiled a little.  Rex looked at your with love in his eyes and then grinned.  “I’d love to cuddle if you feel like it.”

You smiled and nodded, wheeling over and then getting comfortable on the couch.  Rex let you lay on him in a way that helped you relax.  You kissed the spot next to where your head lay.  He ran his hand over your sides and back and kissed the top of your head, whispering “I love you.”  There was no one else he’d rather be with.

[eunchancorner]

Can you do a little fic with the officers where John is too stubborn to get rest and Jack makes him with his tricks? They're my otp and I sadly don't see much tk content with them :'p

Gettin this out of the way since this is another triple asker and bc I have a soft spot for them

Ler Jack, Lee John

Warning: cussing

Word count: 1440

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jack walked into the living room, following the mumbled sounds of his partner mulling over the strange cult that seemed to be so prominent in this town. Looking outside he could see that it was far too late at night for him to be so focused on the case they’d taken up on their own, but John was stubborn. Something Jack loved about him at times, and hated at others.

Right now, he hated it.

“John…” he called softly, catching the attention of the brunette, “It’s late, we need to go to sleep.”

“I don’t have time to sleep, we need to figure out what the hell is going on with this cult,” he grumbled, taking a sip from yet another dirty mug.

“John, come on, if you don’t get enough sleep you won’t be able to think properly, and what will you do then?”

“Speak for yourself, I can go days without sleeping…”

“Can you, or is that just something you tell yourself as an excuse to stay up working? Seriously, it’s time for bed.”

“I’m not going to sleep until I’ve figured out what the hell is going on in this town.”

Jack sighed quietly. He loved John, he really did, but days like this, when he was being more stubborn than Julie to go to sleep, he was always so frustrated with him. Thankfully he was able to figure out ways to make him go to sleep, and tonight seemed like just the night for one of his favorite methods.

“Alright, I didn’t want to have to do this, but you left me no choice,” the ravenette sighed as he walked over to his partner.

“Didn’t want to have to- JACK!!” the brunette yelped as he was suddenly scooped up under the arms and held off the ground against the taller’s chest.

“I’m taking you to bed whether you like it or not!” Jack announced, dragging his brunette co-worker away from the office and towards the shared bedroom.

“What the hell?! Jack, put me down! I NEED TO WORK ON THIS-”

“SHH! Julie’s asleep, what the hell are you thinking?!” Jack hissed at his partner as they passed the sleeping girl’s room.

“Oh, shit, right. But you can’t just make me go to bed! I am a grown man and I can make my own decisions!”

“He says, refusing to sleep…” the ravenette mumbled mockingly, earning a painful elbow in the ribs that almost made him drop the smaller.

Finally they reached the bedroom (with a lot of resistance from the older) and Jack dragged John onto the bed, holding him in his arms. The brunette grumbled and squirmed and pushed at Jack’s hands, trying to get away and go back to work, but at the same time, the warmth of him was just so… nice. So comforting and inviting. As much as he wanted to work, the thought of cuddles seemed to weaken his actions. Usually he’d be able to pull Jack off no problem but he found himself struggling to budge the taller’s hands.

“Wow, you’re still gonna try to be stubborn. C’mon, John, you really need to sleep. After all, you can’t think properly without a good night’s rest. And if that happens, you could make a mistake. It could set you pretty far back, you might even get stuck on square one again…”

That made John stop, even if only to think for a moment. He wanted to work on this case, he really did, but at the same time, he wanted to do so while he was at 100%, just to make sure he didn’t miss anything or get something wrong. And he knew Jack was right. He could end up messing up this case, or possibly something else, if he was too tired. But at the same time, he felt that sense of urgency trying to drag him back to the office.

“You already know that I can’t just leave this for tomorrow when I know I could do it today,” he finally argued. “Even if it takes me all night, I have to get this done.”

“I was afraid you’d say that… Please, John? I’m starting to worry about you. Is there another reason you’re not sleeping or something…?”

“No, I’m just working, I promise. You know I’d tell you if it was something else, don’t worry.”

“Good, good… but then, in that case, you really need to sleep. You know that…”

“And you know I won’t sleep until I’m done.”

“I thought you’d say that… but, thankfully, I know how to get you to sleep. The same way I get Julie to sleep!”

That confused John for a second, his mind flicking to how he gets her to sleep, with a story, a hug, and a nice warm drink. Until the brunette realized that Jack had a bit of a different method of getting her to sleep. One that was far more playful and better for tiring out the hyper child. And one that was far more embarrassing for the shorter.

“W-wait… you’re not thinking…?”

“Maybe I am thinking~”

“I-I- that’s childish, Jack!”

“Oh yeah? What happened to ‘childish’ when you tickled me in front of Patty?”

“That was different! You deserved it for scaring me like that!”

“Oh, I deserved it? Well, then maybe you deserve this for being a little brat and not going to bed!” He punctuated the last few words with pokes to John’s side, making the smaller flinch and curl up, covering the wobbly smile on his face.

“Y-you better quit that!”

“Quit what? This?~” the ravenette asked innocently as he continued to poke up and down his partner’s side, forcing the brunette to choke down embarrassing giggles.

“H-Hehey! Yes, thahat!”

“Why? After all, I’m barely doing anything to you, do why is it affecting you that much?~”

“Jahack!”

“It is because it leads to this?~” he squeezed at the older sides, earning a quiet snort before he heard some small, muffled giggles trying to break out.

“Or, is it because this leads to this?~” he clawed at John’s belly, making him let out a stifled squeak.

“PFF- mmmhmhmhm! Noho!”

“No? Then maybe it’s because this leads to thisss?~” his hands started climbing towards John’s ribs.

“Jahack I swehehear!” the small sheriff warned, grabbing at his deputy’s hands, only succeeding in uncovering his wobbly, blushy smile.

“What do you swear, John? Huh? What are you gonna do, with your handsome little smile?~” he cooed, admiring his partner’s growing blush, even if he proceeded to cover it up once more.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought~”

A squeal pierced the air as Jack finally pinched at his partner’s ribs, moving slowly from one to the other, up two and down one, occasionally darting to a random rib, all keeping John, who was finally letting himself laugh (not that he had much of a choice), guessing on where he might go next.

“Jahahack! Ahaha hey nohoho!” the brunette squawked out, attempting to curl in on himself and hide from the tickles.

“No what, John? No what?” the ravenette cooed.

“Tihihihickles!”

“Aww, ok, if you say so!”

“Wahait, that’s not what I- AAHAHAHA!!” the smaller broke off with a squeal as Jack finally reached his uppermost ribs, occasionally poking at his underarms, bringing his laugh to a near cackle. A squeak managed to escape him when Jack found a particularly sensitive spot on his upper ribs.

“Aww, was that a squeak? That’s adorable! Who knew a grumpy little fluff ball like you could squeak?”

“SHUHUT! IHIT WAHAS NAHAHAT!”

“Oh, come on, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed! Is the big man embarrassed because he’s a little ticklish?~” Jack cooed at his partner, who attempted to cover his face before yet another poke in his underarms forced his arms back down.

“JAHACK PLEHEHEHEASE!”

“Oh, begging? You must be getting tired now. But I still haven’t heard a single stop!~”

“JUHUST TOHOHONE IHIT DOHOHOWN!”

“No problem..” As per his request, Jack’s hands lowered down to the fluff ball’s belly, gently scratching at the soft skin as John’s laugh calmed down into soft giggles. When a yawn managed to break through, the ravenette changed it to soft traces that had the brunette just barely giggling and utterly melting in his arms.

“Getting tired yet?” he asked, as though he didn’t already know the answer. Slowly his traces came to a stop, and just as they did, he heard John’s breathing even out as the brunette fell asleep.

He chuckled quietly and gently laid down, pulling a blanket over them both and letting himself drift off as well.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought…”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I turned it really soft at the end lol. Smokydonuts ftw

[blessyourhondahurley]

You're Not My Secret

Dean thinks he's an irredeemable bad boy, but Cas knows better.

Suptober prompt: Pillow Talk Flufftober prompt: “You've told your parents?” Fictober prompt: “Nobody warned you about me?” Inktober prompt: Scurry

(Read on AO3)

“I'm really glad you came over today,” Cas murmured, his lips flushed and swollen from the make-out session they'd been engaged in for the last hour.

“I'm really glad you invited me,” Dean replied, leaning in for more. Then a thought occurred to him and he leaned back. “We, uhh, haven't gotten much homework done, though.”

“That's fine with me, I finished everything I needed to do today in study hall.”

“So when you asked–”

Cas cut him off with another kiss, then broke it to smirk. “It was a ruse.”

Dean chuckled and wrapped his arms tighter around the other boy. “Baby, you're a genius.”

~~~~~

Cas had asked him at lunch.

“Do you want to come over after school today? My parents won't be home until late and it would be nice to have some company. We could get a pizza, work on our homework?”

The words parents won't be home pinged in his head. Dean imagined his ears pricking up like a dog's. But he was trying to be good around Cas. He was trying to be a good person around Cas, trying to shuck off (or at least hide) his reputation as a delinquent and a bit of a slut.

It was a reputation he'd earned fair and square. For the last couple of years he'd been struggling through a haze of grief and rage over his mom's death, his dad's descent into the bottle, the responsibilities that  got dropped onto his back in the absence of an involved parent. His brother turned burden, his father turned living ghost, Dean had acted out, a lot. He'd talked some smack, he'd smashed some shit, he'd fucked around, he'd grabbed on to whatever he could find that could numb the pain of his life for a moment.

This year, though, his senior year, he's been trying to change. Things at home were finally getting better. His dad had met a very nice woman named Kate, and with her support he'd stopped hanging out with Jim Beam and Johnny Walker every night. Sam was old enough to take care of himself, and he even helped out around the house now, despite Dean's protests that he should be out enjoying his high school years.

“I've got plenty of time to enjoy my high school years,” he'd reply each time, deploying bitch face #47. “Maybe you should go enjoy what's left of yours.”

~~~~~

So when Cas – gorgeous, smart, sweet, funny, amazing Cas – had asked him over for pizza and homework, he'd sworn to himself that there would be nothing happening except pizza and homework. He'd keep his hands to himself. He'd be good.

When Cas had leaned in to kiss him ten minutes after they'd started working on their calculus, he'd been so stunned he almost hadn't kissed back.

He'd gotten over his shock quickly, though, and started giving back as good as he was getting. He'd gotten a few more surprises after that, such as finding out that Cas was a toppy bastard with a talented tongue, and the noises he made when Dean tugged lightly on his hair while they kissed brought goosebumps up all along Dean's arms.

Dean had sucked a hickey low on Cas's throat, and Cas had returned the favor threefold. Hands had wandered up under shirts, and Dean had been delighted to discover how sensitive Cas's nipples were. He'd made sure that all their action had stayed above the belt, though, determined to keep at least the spirit of his promise to be a better man for Cas. It had been enough for both of them, anyway, just kissing and tasting and touching.

Eventually, mouths sore and hair thoroughly mussed, they'd cuddled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn. A movie played quietly on the TV, but neither of them paid it any attention, focused as they were on soft pillow talk and the warmth between their bodies.

When a pair of car doors slammed outside, Dean immediately stiffened and half-stood, looking for a place to hide. Cas wrapped his arms around the boy, tugging him back down beside him.

“You don't need to scurry out the back door under cover of darkness. It's no secret that you're here,” he said, pecking a quick kiss to one of the love bites on Dean's neck.

���It's– You've told your parents? About me?”

“Of course.”

Dean was flabbergasted. “They know we're... Whatever we are?” he asked weakly.

“They know I like you, that I've wanted to ask you out for a while now. They know you were coming over today.”

His tone was matter-of-fact, like he wasn't rocking the foundations of Dean's worldview.  “Does... anyone else know?” he asked.

The boy shrugged. “My sister. She's away at college now but we talk a lot. My friends all know.”

“Nobody warned you about me?”

Cas rolled his eyes at that. “Everybody warned me about you. I prefer to make my own judgments based on my own experiences, however. Everyone says you're a 'bad boy' but that's not what I see in you.”

Dean was scared to ask, but he had to know. “What do you see in me, Cas?”

A gummy smile lit up Cas's beautiful face. “I see a strong heart. I see a generous spirit. I see someone who's smarter than he realizes, kinder than he admits, and not as funny as he believes. I see a good man, Dean. A man I'd like to get to know better.”

Struck almost speechless, and flushed with first love, Dean countered limply, “Um, right back atcha, sweetheart. All of it.”

Cas pecked one more quick kiss to his lips and ran a hand through Dean's tousled hair. “I think you look fantastic like this,” he purred, “but maybe you should go freshen up a little before you come meet my parents, okay? I want them to be as impressed with my boyfriend as I am.”

Dean nodded dumbly, dopey grin on his face, and shuffled off to the bathroom to fix his hair.

[thenorthblues]

In honor of Sinday, I feel like talking about my Law in particular, here we go~

First off he’s trans. Just to understand what we’re working with here. (Also has removed his uterus a long time ago. Haven’t decided if he kept it or not but yeah. No pregnancy scares for him.)

Second, he’s actually not one to sleep around much. He really only indulges when the itch is there and he’s either unable to scratch it himself or is just generally in the mood for a partner. Even then, he’s somewhat picky about his partners. Using his ability to observe and read people to pick a target.

He does not submit to strangers, even when bottoming. Partly because of his pride, and mostly because of his trust issues. It takes quite a lot for Law to trust someone enough to be vulnerable in any way, and there’s not a cold chance in hell he’d give that to a stranger willingly.

It’s almost clinical the way he uses another to get off, a little mean and uncaring of his partner once all is said and done. Either making the partner leave or leaving himself. A hit and run kinda guy, but with good reason. Law’s trust is sacred, and his submission is rare.

To this effect, he generally knows what he’s doing in the bedroom. He’s no virgin, by any means. But also doesn’t really explore much outside of a quick fuck to scratch an itch. (It does leave some part of him feeling…unsatisfied though.)

Now, for the fun stuff. Let’s say Law has a partner(s) he truly is comfortable with.

He is a brat by nurture, pillow princess by nature. All his life he’s done nothing but close himself off, push people away and refuse to let anyone control him or see him in a vulnerable light. Which, in turn, translates to the bedroom often. He struggles to let his guard down, to relinquish control. So he snarks, resists, complains, demands. That is, unless you can, sort of, unlock a certain part of him. One that allows him to fall back entirely, allow himself to be taken care of. Taking the reins, removing the responsibility of keeping up his walls and protecting himself, and letting him just feel, and feel good on top of that? It’s a deep seated want and need that he doesn’t even realize is there until it happens. And when it does, the real fun begins.

He is NOT quiet. Not for not trying, but he is not used to feeling so much. Of anything really. Love, kindness, passion, pleasure. It’s overwhelming in a way that forces him to vocalize it, just to send the energy somewhere.

He’s also a bit of a crier, for the same reason as above. It’s best to check in relatively regularly to make sure it’s not teetering into a panic attack, which he is prone to seeing as this is a headspace he is not at all accustomed to. It’s new and frightening and he ultimately needs to be guided through it.

He’s a squirter. That’s it that’s the bullet point.

Incredibly weak to praise once he’s not being a brat anymore. Can also react well to a mix of praise and degradation/dirty talk if you don’t go too harshly about it.

Does enjoy a bit of pain, biting, scratching, messing with piercings on his chest. He’s also got a piercing on his junk but don’t get too harsh on that. (Mostly for my sake bc Jesus.)

Body worship goes a looooong way. But be prepared to stop a few times to check in, as it will overwhelm him, and tears will start. Don’t be too alarmed, and don’t suddenly try to be harsher at at time. His state at this point is just fragile and he’s learning to process being given good things without a catch attached.

His stamina is great and awful all at once. He can orgasm back to back, but he will pass out the moment everything slows down. If you want multiple rounds, keep him awake. Otherwise be ready to cuddle until he wakes up.

There’s more I’m sure, but yeah!

[oddballwriter]

Period HC

Summary: What I think the EMH boys would do when you’re on your period.

Warnings: HABIT is here, mentions of periods, cramps, and painkillers

Author’s Snip: I just started my period this morning and I’m straight up not having a good time rn lol. So I’m gonna be self indulgent here

Notes: This is for anyone who owns a uterus so trans mascs, y’all can read too. However, this doesn’t talk about dysphoria, however I did make a post is meant for trans masc readers and how the guys try to help with dysphoria

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy!

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Evan

As soon as you tell him that you’re on your period, he’s there to try and take care of you

If you’re doing fine and say that you can handle yourself, he’ll back off but still be ready just in case it gets too much

He makes sure you’re comfortable and aren’t struggling with anything

He gets you blankets so you aren’t cold, heats up your heating pad, gets you painkillers, hot tea or water, snacks, anything

Ask for it and he’ll get it in a heartbeat

If you wanna be left alone, he’ll leave you be. And if you want to cuddle, he’s right there cuddling you

Evan, as I’ve said before, has dog boyfriend energy and just seems like he’d do anything for you

Honestly whipped for you

He’ll check up on you every once in a while to see if you’re okay now

But other than when you’re having bad cramps, you’re fine and can handle yourself and he knows that

(Personal hc nonsense)

I hc Evan as trans masc, and I will die by this hc 

I do hc that he’s made a pretty good and full transition 

But he still remebers how unplesent it is 

He understands how much pain your in and if you too are trans masc, he understands the extra discomfort you get from it 

I might do a post where I talk about period comfort hc with him that is meant more for trans mascs (with the rest of the guys) since I don’t want to make this post too long

Vinny

He’s not as “at your service” as Evan is but if your cramps are really kicking your ass he’ll put what he’s doing aside for a moment to help you out

He’ll get you your heating pad and painkillers along with water to swallow them down with

He’ll get you some extra stuff like a blanket or something if you ask

He asks if you’re okay, as in asks if your have everything you need to deal with your cramps and all of that, if you are then he’ll leave you be and go back to whatever he was up to

Unless you want him to keep you company of course. He’s fine with that.

Jeff

Similar to Evan, he’s on god gonna take care of you but like… you don’t get a choice. You’re getting taken care of

Treats you like you’re sick and dying tbh

Evan knows that you can handle yourself and so respects if you want to handle it yourself and will just take care of you when he knows it’s getting rough

Jeff won’t let you do anything even if you feel perfectly fine at the moment

Y/N: Jeff, I’m fine. I’m not having cramps.

Jeff: I know. But I still think you should just relax. I can handle to for you. You just go lay back down.

Once cramps kick in, it’s just like Evan where he’ll get you anything you need so long as you just say the word

He’ll give you smooches and cuddles to distract you from the pain

If you have any extra pain, like for example when I’m on mine, I get pain in my back and legs, he’ll give that part a little massage

Asks if you’re okay a lot

It gets a bit annoying but you know it’s coming from a good place

HABIT

Obviously since he’s a demon, he doesn’t understand some things about humans and so he doesn’t really know what to do when you’re on your period

He knows what it is, why it’s happening, and what’s going on

But he doesn’t know how to help you get through it

So he asks questions like-

“Why do you need something hot on your stomach?”

“Why do you need a blanket, it’s barely even cold in here?”

He just sort of leaves you alone since he figures that you can do everything by yourself since you’ve been experiencing this for years

It’s not until he sees you curled up in a ball in pain completely restless that he’s like “Oh Shit.” and figured out that sometimes a period is a bitch

He gets you what you need and then leaves you be again unless you ask him to stay

He’s a bit confused on why you want him to me there since you are actively in pain but he’ll stay none the less

Tries to be funny to distract you from the pain, maybe tell you a story about something he saw or experienced during some time period

He’s doing his best

[iambilliejeanok]

Uchiha relations

Warnings: 18+, sfw, nsfw, smutty smut smut.

Obito

SFW

I feel like he’s more of the sweet kind of boyfriend…

The treatment you get from him is absolutely over the moon. He’s really mean to everyone else but he treats you like a delicate rose, and it makes you feel somewhat special….

Loves to engage in activities you enjoy taking part in. He will try and paint or draw with you if you’re a creative, and is literally your number one fan when it comes to anything you do really.

Although he is quite the busy bee, he does make it a priority to spend quality time with you. To him quality time is absolutely important and he loves to learn all these little new things about you. He recently discovered that you tend to struggle to speak full sentences that actually make sense when you’re emotionally overwhelmed and he wraps his arms around you and kisses your entire face. After he notices that he’s like yeah I’m spending the rest of my life with you because you’re so precious🥺

He definitely has killed for you. Some deaths you know of, some, he’d rather you didn’t know about. But he’s very protective of you, and always keeps tabs on where you are and what you’re doing. It’s not an obsessive behavior and you barely care, but it does make you feel reassured and safe all the time.

NSFW

Fucks you like an absolute whore!

Because of the busyness of his colossal plan to save the world, the two of you seldom have sex because Obito would rather spend the time he makes to be by your side on actually hanging out with you and doing fun stuff together over having sex.

If you do find yourselves having sex, it’s probably something you initiated. He can do without the sex honestly, so he only really fucks you when you ask him to.

He doesn’t last too long, which is ideal because you’re not in pain after a long night of fucking, but you do come back to back for sure.

You’ve had to teach him how to please you and when I tell you he took it a little too far because you’re shaking and whimpering every time he makes you come.

Absolutely loves eating you out okay. He could spend hours down there if you let him. You usually let him eat you out whenever he wants to, and sometimes you ask him to and he happily complies just because it’s you he’s getting to taste.

He’s so good at finger you until you until you’re begging him for god knows what. And he’s lowkey amused by how desperate and clingy you become when he toys with your pussy.

When he’s fingering you on his lap, he also kisses you because he loves it when you can’t kiss him back and you’re tugging on his hair while looking into his eyes with that needy look in your eyes. He absolutely loves it.

He will make you come until you’re a complete mess. You can’t even think properly and it’s embarrassing how stupid you become when you’re in the midst of an amazing orgasm.

Honestly, he just wants to serve you because you’re an absolute queen to him. He feels honored to be able to make you cry like this. It makes him feel very special. Like wow he’s the lucky man who gets to see a beautiful, strong person like you so vulnerable and needy, letting him have complete control over you, making all your decisions for you because you’re too overstimulated to think.

Obito’s cuddle game is on level 💯. Like honestly you’re so happy that you’ve found a man who loves you how you deserve to be loved and he’s happy to be with a person who brings light and love to his dark, broken soul.

Shisui

SFW

Shisui over here is a very needy lover. He’s extremely touchy and always has to be all over you. He feels like your aura and energy somehow manage to keep him together.

He’s a tiny bit co-dependent but not in a destructive manner. It’s more so like he chooses you to be his form of therapy.

He loves doing absolutely everything with you. Even holding your hand when you’re peeing. You wonder when did this thing of him peeing with you even become a thing.

He loves being a baby around you. He genuinely feels safe and sound being held and caressed in your arms🥺

Loves to call you mama sometimes because you’re just so wholesome and your love and care is elite!

Very clingy baby, he absolutely loves skin on skin cuddles, always burying his hands under you clothing and rubbing you. Excellent booty rubs that put you to sleep every time.

When he’s really tired, he buries his head between your breasts and you play with his hair, scratching his scalp and detangling his messy, thick, black hair. His literally safe place.

He’s wants you to straddle him and hold him every morning the two of you wake up together.

All he cares about really is being with you. As long as you can drown him in affection, he’s yours forever.

Loves to take off any excess weight off your shoulders. He honestly doesn’t like seeing you too busy. So he’ll take on tasks you’re busy with so you have more time to just relax….with him

NSFW

He’s very dominant in a submissive kind of way 🤔 like he wants to top you from the bottom lol.

Loves it when you’re straddling him and struggling to continue riding him as his middle finger keeps plunging into your asshole while he’s got your ass in a firm grip, forcing you to ride him into bliss.

He loves loves loves back shots, only fucking you like this because of the beautiful view of your lovely ass jiggling with every thrust, slamming into him with the softest bounces 😩

He honestly loves ruining the both of you during sex. He will overstimulated you until you’re crying your heart out and he will overstimulated himself until he’s whimpering into your neck while fucking you.

You won’t say he’s aggressive, but he’s definitely too excited and it comes off as aggressive. You love the feeling of his tongue all over your clit, sucking and slurping you up like a vacuum while fingering you.

He really just knows how to drive you insane. He’s quite thick so it does end up hurting a little when he goes for too long, but the fact that you’re willing to endure that discomfort just so he can come is so romantic to him🥺

He’s always gonna Fuck you. That’s one thing about him. You sometimes feel like a little sex toy with how much he uses and abuses your body in such a cruel yet utterly satisfying manner.

He secretly loves having to hush you and pamper you with extra kisses and cuddles because he’s so deep inside of you and you can barely think, crying into his shoulder while he deep strokes you.

He’s not the type to go easy on you. He’s very much obsessed with how much control he has, making you take more for him like his good little pup.

He’s so mean but in the sweetest way, teasing you when you start whining and kicking as you near an orgasm. His heart melts at the sight of you attempting and dismally failing to make coherent sentences while he’s repeatedly hitting that spot that has you drooling.

Sasuke

Sfw

He’s definitely never going to admit it, and he doesn’t like you talking about it either, but he’s honestly a baby.

He genuinely loves being taken care of, and pampered by you. He loves cuddling and always wants you to play with his hair and sit in his lap while he’s busy with something.

He also gets so much satisfaction from helping you get stuff done. It’s also lowkey because he wants to spend more time with you.

He’s not the type to laugh and stuff like that, but he thinks you’re really funny and even though he’s only chuckling on the outside, deep down he’s dead.

He’s also very protective, and won’t think twice about murking anyone who gives you problems. You always run to him and tell on people who harass you or whatever. But this only happens once in a blue moon, no one is daring enough to try the last Uchiha or his partner😩

He feels most useful when he’s actually pampering and spoiling you. He takes you out on dates and walks and the two of you do a ton of fun stuff together. Loves to hold you to and he loves the feeling of your body close to his.

Btw his snuggly side is strictly reserved for private times. Don’t embarrass him, trying to cuddle and baby him in public because he will give in and now everyone knows he has a soft side! Why would you do this! You ruined his reputation☹️

NSFW

Ugh! He’s such a hard dom 😩

You always get shy and nervous like a damn school girl when he gives you that look you know.

He never gives in to any kind of begging, whining, crying. He will be extra soft and loving while you’re struggling under his actions but he won’t ever let you have your way😕.

So if he’s set on making you come a few times tonight, you’re going to come and you’re going to come hard. No fussing please.

He’s trained you to be a good girl for him and so far so good but he’s just really mean sometimes and you end up crying.

He’s only eats good girls out. So you’re extra sweet when you’re really in the mood to feel his tongue get all up in there. But when you’re bad you get a spanking and edged with his fingers. He won’t let you come until he buries his dick deep inside of you. While he’s still squeezing into you, your violently coming and he’s just like ugh sit still so I can fuck you damnit!

He’s also quite big so you really feel every single stroke. You always beg and cry when he’s fucking you slow and deep. Yet you really know what it is exactly you’re asking for.

“P-pleeasssse, ughhhhh!!!!”, you cry out, and he’s just there like “Yes baby, please what?”, and you start convulsing again and he’s like 🤷🏻 and simply praises you for coming.

You’ve got water proof comforters because you stay wetting the bed when the two of you tango like this. He loves the feeling of your squirting while he’s deep inside of you with all his life. It’s so euphoric to him when you’re both a sweaty and tangled mess, completely fucked out and ready for a damn good nap or to have a good sleep.

If you wake up from a nap and it’s early evening or early in the night, you two shower and go for a walk in the cool evening breeze, stopping by one of your favorite restaurants to get something to eat and maybe some ice cream.

Itachi

Sfw

Omg😩but Itachi’s love is so soft and kind.

He’s literally the kindest person you’ve met really.

Yes he killed his whole clan but you still trust him with your life.

He’s a little overly protective of you, and maybe a little clingy too. The type of partner who wants to know the who, what , when and why every time you go out.

He’s not controlling but he just really needs to know that you’re okay or he will lose it.

He’s always calm and cares for you so well. You’ll end up finding yourself involuntarily regressing because of how much he treats you like you’re small. He’s slowly making you co dependent.

To a point where he makes sure to cook you tasty, healthy meals and he even monitors how much you’re snacking and what you’re snacking on.

So if you’re a super independent person, he’s not there for you 😭

He wants you to feel like you need him. Just because he’s obsessed with caring for someone after abandoning his baby brother and killing his clan. He wants to feel like he’s still human.

Loves to lay with you and read books. Hold your hand while you play with his fingers and maybe even doze off in each other’s hold. He loves having you ontop of him all the time.

When the two of you argue and you get a little upset, he picks you up and babies you, sitting down with you and talking through all your emotions with him. He absolutely doesn’t like seeing his baby upset.

He loves it when you rub him a bath and massage his entire body before bedtime. Makes him feel so loved and wanted. Also makes him feel beautiful🥺 he never thought of the way he looked too much but you want make him feel like he’s physically appealing. It’s nice to feel that way sometimes.

He tries to make you laugh as much as he can and he won’t hesitate to tickle the life out of you if he senses even the slightest bit of bratting.

NSFW

Soft dom daddy😩

He cares so much about your orgasm. Thinks alot about the way you come. Always strives to make you come so hard. He knows it can be a little scary, but he easily needs you to give him your all.

Loves praising you even for the bare minimum. He will reward you with orgasms just because your pussy made him come.

Loves coming all over you, especially when you give him head? Oh my goodness this man loves head so much! And you do it absolutely fucking right all the time. He tells you to stop so he can pull out and paint your face, finding you to be absolutely stunning kneeling between his legs with your hands in your lap and your tits bare for him to fondle.

If you don’t stop and you decide to be a brat and suck him dry, he will pull you up to him when he’s managed to collect himself and prepare for the best 😩

“Didn’t I tell you to stop?”, he says , his voice so deep and low😭so sinister! And you’re there innocently nodding, your cheeks squished together as he holds your face in one hand. “Such a bad girl you are sweety”, he says, unexpectedly shoving his already rock hard cock back into you, thrusting into you so hard and fast, and you’re coming so hard you literally screaming , creating a big puddle on the bed as you cry for him, begging him to stop.

And he sinks deep inside of you and warns you not to move. “Don’t run babe”, he warns, but you seriously can’t handle him, screaming as you kick at him and desperately try to crawl away. You’re driving him crazy at this point😩😭

At any point in the day, he will grab a fistful of your hair and gently tug, his other hand under your skirt, rubbing your clothed clit while he’s greedily exploring your mouth. Your soft moans are being swallowed up in the kiss as your pleasure slowly builds. He will do this for as long as he wants, softly sucking on your tongue before shoving his in your mouth again. If you come good for you, but he’s not doing this to make you come, he’s doing this for his own entertainment.

Even when he eats you out, the experience is more so for him to enjoy rather than you, so even if you’ve already come all over his face, you’re just gonna have to suck on your fingers and hold his hand while he continues eating you out to tears.

[special-wolf]

Cycle || Bakugou Katsuki & Todoroki Shoto

[Female Reader]

{Headcanon}

Bakugou Katsuki:

During your menstrual cycle, Bakugou would be uncharacteristically calm and patient.

He knows the shit that can happen during the cycle because of his mother, and he really doesn't want to feel your wrath.

If you'd ask him to get something then he will (with a small 'tch' and huff).

He'd be a lot more touchy and engage with cuddles or anything similar without much struggle like he usually would, if you want your cuddles then you bet your ass he'll give you them.

He'd always make sure you're actually on whatever you're laying on rather than him in case he has to get up, he'd prefer you snuggled into his side so he can have his hand over your stomach to try and relieve any cramps you get.

He wouldn't mind going out to get you any tampons/pads you need, he'd just need to know what type and size you'd want. He'd more than likely get some of your favourite sweets too or anything else you've been craving for a while to keep you happy.

He'd make sure not to be too mean; he'd hold back the witty comments and calling you 'dumbass' or anything similar.

If he did end up making a comment that pissed you off, he would straight up evacuate the building. He knows if he stays there that he's going to get his ass whooped by you or the girls once they hear about it and he's not taking any chances.

But if the comment upset you, he'd do his best to make it up to you since he genuinely didn't mean it. He's a softie on the inside, and he'll reluctantly admit if if you're upset. ("Shit, I didn't mean that. You know how I am... I'm... You make me soft.")

All in all, he'd be a simp out of fear so take that however you want to.

Todoroki Shoto:

Poor guy didn't know what was going on at the start, he genuinely thought you suddenly hated him.

But once you or one of the girls explained it to him... He still was weary. But he tried his best to make it up to you.

He wasn't really sure how to help but a few texts to Fuyumi soon helped him a bit. From what she said, Todoroki ended up going on a shopping spree for everything he knew you liked to eat or drink. He heard about cravings and just thought it'd be better for you have a selection than not have what you want. The owner of the store fucking loved him.

But after that, he stayed near you as he made sure you were comfortable. The thing he was most scared about was the cramps, he had no idea what yours were like and Fuyumi's summary didn't calm his nerves the slightest. Hearing that some were about as painful as a heart attack almost gave Todoroki a heart attack himself.

So he made sure to keep you on his left at all times even when you complained about being too warm. He wanted his left side to be used for good and help with the cramps.

He treated you like a damn princess, feeding you what you wanted as he kept his hand near you to put where ever the cramps were.

He made sure to carry you everywhere too after he heard you complain about the feeling of getting up and just feeling the blood everywhere. He didn't really wanna hear about it in great detail, but you deserve to complain so he went along with it.

As he learned more and more about the cycle, the more his respect for you and women around the globe went up. He couldn't imagine going through that.

But God, he was so glad he didn't have to. Just seeing how unhappy you were with some of the experiences made him realise how lucky he was. But he did enjoy seeing your mood change drastically throughout the day and week; it interested him to see what upset you during the time so he knew what not to do. He knew how oblivious he could be with you, and he really didn't wanna make your time worse.

He wanted the best for you, even though he didn't feel like he did much.

[kageyuji]

shortening his name except he thinks you called him another guy’s name

⤷ oikawa, bokuto, atsumu, suna, mattsun ; [gn!reader]

GENRE/WARNINGS: comfort(?), angst if you squint hard enough, mild swearing

NOTES: i will literally offer my hand in marriage if you reblog. and thank you to @/sugawaaras for giving me the idea for mattsun’s <33

━━ OIKAWA

even though he tried to be confident, in reality, his self confidence sat on a throne built from things he told himself in the mirror and compliments he never believed

so its not a surprise that his first reaction just... isn’t one. he’ll stop and replay it over and over again in his head to make sure he’d heard you correctly

and then his heart breaks — it actually hurts him, makes him feel like he can’t breath, and before he even knows it theres tears in his eyes

of course, he knows you’re never supposed to let the reason you’re crying see you crying

so he attempts to act like he’s more annoyed than that he just had his heart just obliterated

it’s not a secret though. through the pain in his eyes, anyone can see the shattered remnants of what was once his heart

“ru, can you grab my phone for me?” you called to your boyfriend from the couch, remembering that you’d left your phone in the other room.

it was quiet for a moment; not long enough for you to ask if he was okay, but long enough that the silence was odd. you heard heavy footfalls again, then saw oikawa standing just inside the room with a clear look of betrayal on his face.

“what?” you asked him, wondering if he was kidding around. you hadn’t done anything, there was no reason why he’d actually be upset with you.

as he stepped closer to you, you could see the tears whelling up in his eyes, and you were left to wonder what was wrong.

“what’s wrong? tooru, hey, are you ok?” your voice was much softer when you spoke this time. your heart dropped when you saw him step back at your step forward.

“so now you can call me by my name?” you think his voice was meant to be low and hostile, but in his struggle not to cry it came out strangled and cracked.

“what did... do you mean ‘ru?”

“yes! who the hell is that? if you wanted to-“

“no no, babe, your name is tooru. the last syllable of your name is ru. it’s just a shortening of your name, not someone else’s.”

you watched his lips form a smile and he let out something like a laugh, seemingly at his own confusion, and then the tears finally fell.

he’d walked into your arms soon after, with his arms wrapped tightly around you and his face buried in the crook of your neck

“sorry... sorry for not trust- trusting you, i just-” his sentence was cut through with sharp breaths and hiccups, and then finally stopped with your own voice.

“it’s alright, i didn’t mean to scare you. we can cuddle if you want, hm?”

he was already struggling to keep himself from fully breaking down. but when one of your hands came up to pet his hair, a whine left him — you think it was supposed to be an ‘mhm’ to your offer — and his hands gripped tightly at your shirt, his arms around you getting tighter.

━━ BOKUTO

he doesn’t miss a beat, immediately looking up at you to wonder if he’d heard you correctly

it’s just a small spike of anxiety at first, but the more he lets the foreign name resonate with him, the more it makes him worry

he has to build up the courage to ask you who the other guy is, because he can’t do it right away, he’s way too nervous

he looks so sad as well, puppy dog eyes looking at you, seemingly just slightly worried

unbeknownst to you, his heart is pounding in is chest and with each passing second, it runs the risk of shattering

“‘taro!” your voice was a giggle as he left little kisses all over you. they weren’t nearly enough to leave hickeys, just little pecks across your face, your neck, your chest.

as soon as the name left your lips though, he stopped, golden eyes snapping up to look at you with a pain you’d never seen in them before.

you could tell he was definitely upset about something, but you had no idea what it could be. hell, the way he looked at you, it was almost as though you were the reason.

of course, you were unaware that bokuto’s first thoughts went to rintaro, middle blocker from the famed inarizaki. suddenly he was thinking of every time you’d ever spoken about the team, said how many fan girls they had, how many games they’d won.

he wanted to say something. he really wanted to ask what you’d meant. but the words seemed caught in his throat.

it wasn’t long before he couldn’t take it though, and he pushed the words out, despite the alarms going off in his head and his heart immediately jumping to his throat.

“who is ‘taro?” you didnt think you’d ever heard him sound so small. so timid, so close to his voice cracking with the tears he was holding back, so... scared.

“you? who else? i can call you kou if you’d prefer that though. you don’t have to look so upset.”

bokuto smiled then, relaxing the weight on his arms enough so he was on top of you. he supported himself enough not to crush you, but there was nothing more he wanted in the world right now than to be held by you.

━━ ATSUMU

he liked to consider himself a tough guy. he liked to.

but there were times whenever his support fell, leaving his world to crumble in his hands, slipping through his fingers no matter how hard he tried to hold it all together

and when thought he heard a guy’s name that isn’t his own come from you, it felt just like one of those times

he was asking what you’d meant before his mind could even properly register your words

and by that point he didn’t care enough to replay the name in his head, his mind already caught up looking for the things he’d done wrong, the things he hadn’t done.

“oh, ‘umi, if you want to we can go to th-”

“what the hell?”

it surprised you how much venom laced his words, despite the fact that you’d done nothing wrong. the thought that he was being sarcastic or joking with you crossed your mind, but atsumu wasn’t exactly the best actor.

he couldn’t fake the look on his face, couldn’t fake how his heart had seemingly stopped just from the look in his eyes.

“what do you mean?” your voice was soft when you spoke now, no longer so nonchalant.

he lips pressed into a thin line and he set his jaw in frustration. it took him taking a deep breath to finally say, “you called me ‘omi.’ if you like-”

“tsumu.”

“no, i heard you, you called me omi. if- if theres...” he never finished his sentence. there was already a lump in his throat and he knew that if he were to say anything more, he’d cry.

“no, no. i called you umi. like your name just a little bit different.”

his face was drawn in a look on confusion. his eyes studied you, trying to look for any sign of you lying. but he trusted you, of course he trusted you.

he came over to hug you, his arms wrapped tightly around you. you heard him sniff, but you knew he’d deny crying if you asked him.

“i love you,” his voice made him sound so small, it was a level of weak and vulnerable you’d not seen from him.

“i love you too.”

━━ SUNA

the words “stay calm” had never been repeated in his head to himself so much

well, it was more like a string of curse words with “stay calm” thrown in occasionally, but he’d never felt so scared

the look on his face is annoyed at first, but it quickly starts to shift into one with a little more worry

he’s terrified, in all honesty. but he’s already told himself he’s not going to let you see that

“taro, can we stop by a corner store on the way home? i need something.”

your voice had been so calm. so why did it feel like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest?

he knew you hadn’t meant to. but why you’d even slipped and call him by another name in the first place worried him. it took him only a few seconds for his mind to land on bokuto koutarou.

bokuto koutarou, one of the top aces.

“well fuck you too i guess.” his tone may have been confused with one of anger at first, but you could tell that wasnt it. anger is a secondary emotion, you knew in reality he was hurt.

the only problem is, you didn’t know what. from his words you knew it was something you’d done. but there was nothing that came to mind.

“sorry? what did i do?”

suna hesitated for only a second before asking why you’d called him by another name. he took a deep breath immediately after speaking, your silence only breaking his heart more. as though it wasn’t already destroyed.

but your silence was born from shock and confusion, not being caught like suna had assumed.

“taro. like rintarou. like your name. who else would i be talking about?”

“uhm. koutarou? i don’t know, forget about it.” he’d never felt like a bigger jackass before; he never swore at you.

you smiled a little at his words and walked over to hug him. he hummed at that and pressed a small kiss to your temple, then buried his face into the crook of your neck.

“i didn’t mean to-”

“it’s ok, rin.”

━━ MATTSUN

he had to stop for a moment to let it sink in before he could react

after that there were too many emotions rushing through him to do anything for another few moments

in fact, his silence coupled with the distant, betrayed look on his face was somewhat unsettling

it takes him longer than he would like to question you, but it’s because he’s already preparing to collect his shattered heart after one of his worst fears becomes true

“why are you here?” mattsun heard iwaizumi’s voice and he smiled a little to himself, knowing that he must have been talking to you.

he’d been waiting for you all day, it seemed like forever since he’d last seen you. the only thing he wanted right now was to hold you.

“oh, i’m here to see ‘kawa!” you said happily. mattsun could hear the smile in your voice without even seeing you.

you were here for oikawa. of course you were here for starboy oikawa tooru, of course your boyfriend was just a stepping stone.

he was still frozen when you rounded the corner. the look on his face was concerning, you couldn’t remember the last time — if there ever was one — he’d looked absolutely terrified, the last time he looked so hurt.

“mattsun... are you ok?”

he didn’t answer you. it took him a few moments before he could finally speak, and even then his voice was different than it usually was. it was... pained? betrayed? whatever it was, you knew it wasn’t mattsun.

“did you really come here just to see oikawa? what happened to me being your boyfriend?”

it took you a few moments to try and understand what he was talking about. you’d never said that. hell, you always came for mattsun, not once had you ever spared oikawa a thought.

“no, babe. i said ‘kawa’, as in matsukawa.”

he seemed to melt at your words. that expression disappeared from his face, his body untensing. he moved to pull you into his arms, holding you close to himself with a desperation he’d not had before.

him thumb rubbed soothing circles on your back. you could tell he wanted to say something. but then he stopped right before the words left him, instead opting to make a joke to lift the mood.

“good, i was about to kick oikawa’s ass.”

“...we were having a moment.”

[danger-noodle-uwu]

I'm new to tumblr so is this how you do request? May I request the brothers forgetting mc's birthday and later remembering it. How would they react? Maybe they were busy or something. Your choice if you wanna do the dateables too.

Trigger warning

Mentions of Angst/sad/slight comfort

Lucifer

Busy almost all the time, the first-born barely spent time with our dear Mc. He would try to finish the work only for more to be slammed on his desk.

Never would his brothers acknowledge his efforts or the sacrifices he made for them. Instead they'd mock him. Mock him for being absent at all family times. Mock him for doing what he does.

It was once again such a time, such a day. They didn't bother to care what the day has held for his beloved. It was their birth.

The birth of the one who truly changed his life along with his brothers. It was such a blessing yet he forgot about it. Entirely.

The Avatar of pride was strong, Lucifer wasn't. He was weak. Vulnerable. Especially against his brothers whom he adored with his entire being.

And the mocking words had stabbed him deeply, which made his current state as to how it was. Drunk. Wounded. Crying.

Rubbing his eyes, he awoke to a mess of his office which screamed the need for cleanliness.

During the process, he found the calender. A sweet calender gifted him by his doll.

A smile had crept on his face as he lifted it for what? Perhaps to calm the unsettling feeling in his bones that told him to run but where he didn't know?

While their lover was, Mc wilted much like a delicate flower would if the sun stopped shinning, they were laying curled on the floor of his room. Mc needed him.

How could he forget his own lover's birthday?! even after he promised... it hurts.. so much...

Yesterday. The poor human cut the cake wished themselves a happy birthday when he didn't...crying...in pain...

The realization hit hard. He ran to Mc's room as fast as he could. A shiver ran his spine and the horror in his stomach grew as each and every step was taken.

Yet could not find them, so he went over to his office expecting a fuming Mc.

He was once again not right, for his beloved was breaking down as he took them into his arms. Consoling.

He apologised and comforted them. Reassuring them over and over again. Reminding them his heart still is with them and no-could ever take it away.

He later threw a party, just like how you wanted. You. Him. And the growing fragrance of the candles surrounding you both.

Though late as it may have been, it was the best birthday the innocent human had. Smiling while he kissed your knuckles, he asked for your hand in marriage.

Never had you expected this...

"I Found the reason for my smile, the day I found you. Will you let me be the reason for your smile and marry me, my love?"

Mammon

As most had expected, he forgot your birthday due to witches or the modeling gig, he did not.

Instead he forgot about preparing your birthday gifts. His excitement had always gotten the best of him.

The Avatar of greed did not have enough budget to prepare the gift you dearly wished for, therefore multiple part-time jobs and skipping RAD became more often.

Despite the scolding, he didn't bother and worked on, just imagining the smile you'd make once you saw what he got you.

''I'll make Mc smile. Just one more hour extra and the budget would be*chef's kiss* '' he thought as his co-workers packed their belongings up.

It was late night and the moons shined brightly over the streets of devildom however he wasn't much worried because it was not like your birthday the next day. (it was)

Stretching his arms, he woke up around 1:35 pm due to his fucked up sleep schedule, only to be greeted by your excited figure cuddling him.

Grey-haired demon thought it was the Delirium before the day itself. He was wrong.

At first he acted totally oblivious to the fact any special day was just around the corner. He knew that surprises even more better!!

And then your great mammon ignored you for a while to rid of the risk of you following him to the destination.

Though his plan was to get your hopes down, he ended up making you cry. It hurts a lot especially when the love of your life forgets your birthday afterall you gave him everything he wanted on his.

The visit was successful. He even had extras left to treat you!!!

The was big achievement for someone who hated working to the slightest, to work for 3 weeks and multiple jobs!!!

But before he left, the seller mocked him about being a damned day late for this gift could have been sold at a better price if not booked.

That is when it all clicked and he panicked. Today was your birthday! Oh shit!!

He rushed home back to you. As he ran, he planned how to ask for your forgiveness.

" Oi Mc I'm sorry!--Oh hell no!!" "Mc I fucked I am sorry, please forgive afterall I'm your first man.--fuck this shit imma just play smooth."

Panting, he paused right before the door of your room and knocked lightly. Seeking your permission to enter.

You lazily opened the door for him, tired after shedding many tears for him.

Mammon instantly knew what to do. "Oi Mc I'm sorry for not wishing ya' a happy birthday earlier but I was busy buyin you somethin', here darlin' close your eyes."

Hearing his apology, you felt oddly happy and followed his request. Soon you felt a soft cold metal cling to your wrist. A bracelet, huh.?

"Open y'er eyes, human." On your wrist was bracelet that said 'His human' and another matching one was on his wrist which said 'Their stupid' . (Now isn't that adorable?)

"I was savin' up for this, so ya' better appreciate it. Hmph!" Giggling you yelled 'I love you' at him making him blush immediately.

However, when he spoke, he spoke genuinely and not in tsundere.

"Ya' make my life worth living. You bring smiles to my face, and y'er touch shows me how much you love me and care for me. Y'er my friend and my lover. Happy Birthday!"

Leviathan

With envy filled to the brim, Leviathan was very focused upon you and having your attention only for himself. To not let anyone snatch you away for they could better be than him, he'd make notes to treat you like royalty and improve his guilt-tripping habits.

Guilt, regret, shame. His heart screamed within the confines of his chest, as he rubbed your back assuring you that he still loved and will continue to do so.

It was his envy. It had always been his envy. Who always held him captive like a bird in a cage, he struggled to break free. He just couldn't.

The fault was his for if he hadn't given in to the jealousy named poison, you would be happily celebrating your birthday rather than crying in his embrace.

The fault was his for if he hadn't screamed at your friends who just came to congratulate you about getting in a relationship with the demon you very much loved and to wish you a birthday.

They left because of him. Not because he humiliated them but he forgot his own lover's birthday and called them a pathetic cheater, as they didn't feel like reminding of what the day was. They had left off with their friends, returning at HOL at night only to get yelled at.

Caring friends as they were, they tried convincing Mc to leave which his love refused. So, they left pitying the poor human.

No-matter how much Mc begged her companions to stay, they didn't.

Oh the suffering for His Normie, they ran upto him vulnerable-ly and started hitting him weakly, breaking down. Why was he? Why was he like this?! Why must he always leave you crying due to his envy?!

"Hey easy...calm down please, I'm sorry. I really am sorry, please forgive me and I promise I will make everything right. Please." "How..?" "Please trust me. My love." "Are you sure..?" "Yes...yes...I love you..."

Could you really trust his statement? You wondered. He could forget his word much like how he forgot your birthday.

The great admiral of hell's navy was true to his word, and successfully united you again with those who almost abandoned you or it seemed like--but no they were just disappointed. They were never going to do such a thing.

The meet went smoothly, and soon the the sun was setting casting shadows along with dying light, it was a dreamy sight for anyone.

Leviathan had known that he still had to make upto you properly and therefore, he took you to the cosmos of frodane.

Red, blue, yellow, any colour you could possibly think of was there, shining as brightly you were.

Taking in a shaky breath, the Avatar of envy gave you a bouquet, each flower consisting different scent which complimented the other.

The shimmer in your eyes gave you away and he gave you a sweetly addicting kiss while mumuring...

"I always cause some mess. It is never your fault. I’m sorry for making you feel unhappy. I cannot believe that I cause hurt to you. You are my only hope for my life. I promise you that I will do my best to make a better version of myself for you, my 3rd waifu~"

-------------------------------------------------------

And here we go... the pain and the suffering. Lol

Hope you like it and stay safe everyone. ♡♡♡

Have a good day!

[diaphragmjellyfish]

Research

Finally wrote something again! Sorry it took so long. 

How exactly do you get a dog to lose your scent? Because avoiding your werewolf boyfriend Embry was proving a lot harder than you had anticipated. Last weekend was… eventful. You guys had finally done it. Gone all the way. After 6 months of dating and an imprint bond, you both finally decided you were ready to take that next step. And you’ve only had one thought since that night. 

That shit hurted. 

It was borderline unbearable. The pain was searing. You lied there until Embry was done, faking moans and even faking the Big O, and you were less than eager to do it again. Were you broken? He seemed to enjoy it, so obviously you were to blame. He’d been super clingy and lovey since that night, even more so than usual, and you didn’t have the heart to be around him knowing you had faked it like that. What if he found out? He’d be crushed. What if he wanted to do it again? You couldn’t take that pain another night. What if he faked it too and was going to break up with you the next time he saw you? Yeah, no. Avoidance was the way to go. 

He wanted to take you out to see a movie. You mysteriously came down with a case of allergies in the middle of winter. 

He wanted to pick you up after school and give you a ride home. You had the sudden urge to join a club that was meeting after school that day. 

He called, your phone was on silent. 

He texted, you suddenly became illiterate. 

But he kept trying. God, why was he making this so difficult?! Thoughts like this swirled through your head as you walked the long way home from school. He knew your usual route, so obviously that was out of the question. You took a path through the woods that would eventually spit you out right by the beach where you could sit and think. The forest had always felt like a second home to you. Peaceful, comfortable, private. You walked for some time before hearing twigs snapping in the distance. Probably a rabbit or something. Louder snapping. Bigger sticks. Definitely not a rabbit. You halted, waiting for the creature to pass, when a large gray wolf stalked out of the trees. 

Damn. 

He was wearing the softest, cutest, most “kicked puppy” look on his face that you had ever seen. Head bowed, he walked up to you slowly, whining. So he had noticed your avoidance. You held your hand out to him, petting the thick fur between his ears. He sniffed your hand, giving it a soft lick. 

“Hi,” you whispered. He whined louder at this. “Embry…” you started, before he crouched down, a silent cue for you to get on his back. He waited. 

Guess this was inevitable. And at least him showing up in wolf form gave you some time to think about how exactly you would explain what had happened. With another soft sigh, you climbed up on his back, holding the fur tightly as he trotted off into the trees. After about 5 minutes, you realized that he was taking you to Sam and Emily’s house. You weren’t in the mood to be around the rest of the pack right now. 

“Embry, I’m kind of busy today. I don’t really have time to hang out with the pack.” 

He ignored you, trotting along as if your statement was the buzz of a mosquito in his ear. When you reached the house, however, you quickly realized that no one else was there. They must all be out. It was a Friday afternoon, after all. 

When you reached the lawn, Embry stopped and crouched once more so you could dismount. When you did, he ran off behind the house, walking back out several minutes later as the inky-haired boy you had grown to love. His face was full of sadness, yours full of anxiety. 

“Let’s go for a walk,” he said. 

You silently followed him down the path that led to the cliffs, waiting for him to say something else. He never did, only kept walking. You struggled to keep up, but were too stubborn in your silence to ask him to slow down. You both finally reached the rocky cliffs jutting out over the frigid ocean. He stopped, staring out at the horizon. You paused next to him, waiting. After another several minutes of silence, you grew impatient. 

“It’s supposed to snow Monday,” you said. 

You waited. Silence. 

“The news said they might even cancel school.” 

A pause. Nothing. 

“I don’t know about you, but I could definitely use a three day weeken-”

“Is there something you want to tell me?” he cut you off, seeming agitated. For as long as you’d known Embry, he was never in a bad mood. Never anything but happy. Maybe sad on a few occasions, but never angry. Never frustrated. And it was making you nervous. 

And now it was your turn to be silent. Yes! You wanted to say. You hurt me! But you couldn’t. Wouldn’t. He didn’t do it on purpose, so why would you make him feel guilty about something that was your problem and your problem alone? 

“Because, if I’m counting correctly, it’s been 5 days since I’ve so much as heard from you. Barely a text back. Not a call, not a ‘hey! I’m super busy this week.’ Why are you avoiding me? I thought… after last weekend, we should be more in love than ever right?! Did it not mean anything to you?” 

You remained quiet, tears pooling in your eyes. You gave no sign that you were going to respond, so he kept going. 

“Just tell me where your fucking head is at, Y/N. You can’t keep brushing me off like this. Did I do something wrong? Do you regret what we did? Am I, like… not ripped enough for you or something?” 

“Embry, no,” you pleaded. You could see the insecurity behind his eyes. You had to tell him what was going on, but you knew it would crush him. “It’s not that at all.” 

He waited. “Then what?” 

You closed your eyes, a tear slipping down your face. You wiped it away quickly before taking a deep breath. “I have been avoiding you.” You looked up at his face at this, finding tears building up in his own eyes. “I love you, Embry. But last weekend, just… I can’t do that again.” 

He clenched his jaw, looking anywhere but your face and nodded. He was hurt. You definitely could have worded that better. 

“Let me explain,” you pleaded. He wouldn’t look at you still, but didn’t walk away, so you kept going. “I think I might be broken or something, because that… It didn’t feel right.” 

At this, he looked back at your face, switching from hurt to concerned almost immediately. 

“Why would you think you’re broken?” 

Another pause. “I know you would never hurt me on purpose…”

“You were in pain?” he panicked, fresh tears pricking in his eyes. 

“It’s not your fault,” you hurried. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that? Why would you let me keep going?!” 

“I’m sorry!” you cried, causing him to walk up and embrace you. You sobbed into his chest as he pet your hair, all signs of anger gone. “You were having a good time, and I didn’t wanna ruin it, but it hurt so bad…” 

“Shhhhh,” he cooed as he rocked you from side to side, letting you calm down. “It’s okay.” 

After several minutes, you finally stopped crying. He didn’t falter in his embrace, only left light kisses on your forehead and cheek. 

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” he whispered into your hair. 

“It’s not your fault,” you replied. 

“Yes, it is. I’m supposed to take care of you. It was my job to make you feel good, and you were hurting that bad and I didn’t even notice.” You sniffled, just enjoying being in his arms. A few more minutes passed as you both calmed down. 

“To be fair, I did take a drama class last semester. I’d say I put on a pretty convincing performance,” you added weakly, an attempt to lighten the mood. 

He huffed a laugh, if for no other reason than to make you feel better. “Had me fooled,” he added. 

You smiled, looking up at him. “I’m sorry for avoiding you.” 

“It’s okay. I just wish you would have told me as soon as it started to hurt that you wanted to stop.” 

“I know. I should have, I just got all in my head about it.” 

“And I’m sorry for hurting you. I’ll never forgive myself, and I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore,” he answered, nervously awaiting your response. 

“I forgive you. And of course I still want to be with you, Embry. I love you. We just need to work on our communication skills a little bit,” you laughed. 

“We do. And I’ll start. I would really love another chance to make you feel good. If you promise to be honest about how you’re feeling, I know I can do a way better job. But I understand completely if you wanna wait a while… or if you never wanna do it again. You’re in charge here.” 

His words had your heart melting. He really did care about you, and you knew that if you had told him in the moment that you were in pain, he would have done anything to get you feeling good. You were always his first priority. 

“I’d be willing to try again, but what we did last time didn’t work. I think we need to think of some new techniques or something,” you mumbled shyly. 

“Tell you what. I’ll do some research, get some stuff, and you can come over tonight… if you want to. And we can maybe try again? And if you get there and aren’t feeling up to it, we can just watch a movie and cuddle. No pressure… I just miss you.” 

You thought for a second. Worst case scenario, you’d cuddle on the couch and eat junk food. You trusted Embry completely, and if you said stop, you knew he would. 

“Okay,” you replied. 

__________________________________

After a long shower, some fresh makeup, and a cute-yet-comfortable outfit, you were ready to go over to Embry’s. Sure, the nerves were kicking in, but you trusted him when he said he would do some research. When you pulled up, he was already standing in the doorway smiling. You ran out and gave him a giant bear hug (or wolf hug), and he picked you up and carried you into his room, kicking the door closed with his foot. 

“I missed you,” he said, face buried in your hair. 

“You saw me like 3 hours ago,” you giggled in response. 

“Yeah, but I haven’t seen you all week! Gotta get my Y/N fill or I might die!” 

You laughed loudly, hands threading up into his hair as he sat down on the bed with you seated in his lap. 

“Yeah, yeah, just try not to crowd me,” you cheekily replied. 

He raised an eyebrow before tackling you back onto the bed, tickling you like a maniac and placing playful kisses all over your face and neck. 

“Like this?! Don’t crowd you like this?” 

“Embry stop!” you laughed, trying to suck in a breath between his manic tickles. When he finally stopped, he was lying between your legs, one hand grasping both your wrists above your head, the other propped beside you so as to not crush you. He stared lovingly at your face before leaning down and placing a soft kiss on your lips. His grip on your arms loosened, as if to say You can stop me anytime, but you didn’t. You kissed him back, arms staying in place to tell him that you were okay. 

The kisses grew slightly more heated, but Embry kept them gentle. And every time you thought he was about to take things to the next step, he’d just kiss you some more. You were growing slightly impatient, breath labored and blood pumping fast. Your stomach became slightly warm, and every time you leaned up, he’d pull away. 

“You’re being mean,” you whimpered. 

He just looked at you and smirked before leaning down and capturing your lips once more. You could feel your blood heat in every part of your body. From your head to your toes, you felt warm and fuzzy, yet desperate for more,,, more touch, more pressure, more Embry. Growing frustrated, you hooked your legs around his waist and tried your best to pull him closer, unintentionally grinding your hips into his. When he brushed up against your core, you let out an involuntary sigh. It actually felt nice. He smiled into the kiss, pulling his lips away from yours and dragging them down to your jaw, and then your neck, suckling and sucking and leaving light red marks that made your head spin. The hand that was holding your wrists came down behind your back and up into your hair, firmly pulling your head back to give him better access to your neck. 

This movement made your entire back arch up into his body. His grip in your hair tightened slightly, lips sucking your skin up into his mouth as he nibbled, before soothing with his tongue. Your toes curled, legs pulling him impossibly closer. When he felt this, he ground his hips down into yours. The combination of his hands, lips, and weight on top of you made you let out a gasp. Your hands held onto his shoulders for dear life, pulling his shirt up in an attempt to take it off. He got the hint and sat up to remove it, being away from your body for far too long for your taste. He didn’t lower fully back down, however, instead sliding his warm hands under your shirt and onto your stomach. You sat up, taking your sweatshirt off and throwing it violently across the room. His eyes widened as they looked down at your bare chest in an almost feral fashion. He gripped your thighs, tugging you down the bed with ease, and resuming his position on top of you, hands roaming all over your torso. He cupped your breasts gently, rolling your nipples softly between his fingers. You shut your eyes and threw your head back, enjoying the sensations. His kisses trailed from your neck and down to your chest, softly. Lovingly. When he reached your nipples, his tongue poked out and licked around each of them, before taking them into his mouth and sucking. His hands continued to caress your back, and he took his sweet time switching from one breast to the other, and back again, until he felt your skin grow almost as hot as his. You were writhing underneath him, panting as your mind tried to comprehend the sensations. And his mouth, God it was so warm. You felt him kiss the undersides of your breasts, and then your stomach, and then lower… 

When he reached the waistband of your leggings, he brought his hands up as if to pull them off of you. He stopped, looking up at you for permission. You gave a lazy nod Yes, and lifted your hips to help him. He pulled your underwear off as well, spreading your legs and almost salivating at the sight of your soaking pussy. Not wanting to waste another second, he once again began placing kisses on your lower stomach, and then down to your hip bones, scraping his teeth lightly against the skin, which had you shuddering. He trailed lower, to where your thighs met your core, and began to suck lightly and the soft skin there. Your clit was throbbing by now, desperate for any sort of attention. You thrust your hips up, desperate for his mouth on the place you needed him, but he only pulled your legs over his shoulders and brought his arms across your stomach to hold you in place. Your hands went to his hair in an effort to control any aspect of this situation, but the boy was strong. He teased and teased and teased, until you thought you might very well crawl out of your own skin if he didn’t properly touch you soon. Embry brought his face right up to your center and licked into your entrance, making your toes curl once more. His hands gripped your hips as he brought you as far onto his tongue as he could, nose not quite brushing where you still needed him. 

“Embry…” you whimpered, about to tell him what you needed. 

“I know, baby. I got you,” he spoke, as he finally brought his warm tongue to lick a firm stripe up to your clit, swirling it around and sucking the swollen nub into his mouth. 

You let out a moan. A real one. Your first real one. And it only encouraged Embry, as he began to suck and lick with a steady rhythm that caused your legs to shake. You felt your stomach start to coil after several minutes of this, hands fisting Embry’s hair even tighter. It felt amazing, but that coil wouldn’t snap. He started to notice you coming down slightly, orgasm fading away, when he brought his index finger into your mouth. You sucked on instinct, before he pulled it out and brought it down to your entrance. He swirled the digit around a few times and began to push in slowly. One knuckle. Then two. And then he was fully in you. Sucking your clit into his mouth yet again, he rubbed his finger up into your front wall, massaging the ridges there. 

“Oh… Embry, oh my God,” you moaned. He used more pressure, and then brought his finger out and added another, slowly pushing them in together and resuming the ‘come-hither’ motion. You felt your muscles shake, losing all control, and the coil in your stomach tightened rapidly once again, only this time, it broke. Your back arched, eyes shut tight, mouth open in a silent scream as you came hard. Waves of pleasure drove through you, hands holding his head firmly onto your center. When you came down and opened your eyes, you looked down at his face to see an excited grin. 

“If you tell me that was fake, I think I’ll cry,” he chirped. 

You calmed your hard breathing enough to mutter a “That was real.” 

“Do you wanna keep going?” he asked. 

You nodded, taking note of the obvious tent in his shorts. You reached a hand down to grasp him, when he grabbed your wrist and said “Nuh-uh, I’m still making it up to you.” 

He stood up off the bed and went over to a plastic shopping bag on his desk. He opened it and pulled out a condom, some lube, and a small pink toy. Your eyes widened, and he cockily stated, “told you I’d do some research. Come here Sweetheart.” He held a hand out to help you up, and moved you so that you were on your hands and knees, bum facing him as he stood at the edge of the bed. He tore the condom packet open with his teeth and rolled it on, and then opened the bottle of lube and slathered it all over himself. He then brought what was left on his hand up to your sensitive core, distributing the substance gently. Throwing the bottle onto the floor, he lined himself up with your entrance. 

“You sure you wanna keep going?” he asked. You nodded in response. “I need you to say it, babe.” 

“Yes, I want to keep going, Em,” you almost cried. 

“Okay, but I need you to tell me if it hurts even a little. Promise?” 

“Promise.” 

He grasped your hip with one hand, guiding himself in with the other. Slowly, carefully, he became fully seated inside you, giving you a moment to adjust. You felt no pain, just a delicious stretch inside your walls. When Embry saw that you were relaxed, he pulled himself out a couple of inches and softly thrusted back in, looking for any signs of discomfort. He found none, and continued. He dragged himself in and out of you at a torturous pace that made your breathing pick up yet again. You needed more. You began rocking yourself back onto him, begging for a faster pace, and he complied. He pulled out several inches more this time, shoving back in at a quicker pace that had your toes curling and your moans going up in pitch. At this, he stopped holding back. Embry began pounding into you, hands gripping your hips tight enough to leave the good kind of bruise. You were moaning loudly, brain turning to mush. This is what sex was supposed to be like. What you’d always imagined it would be like. Passionate, loving, amazing. 

Embry found himself reaching the edge, but would not allow himself to finish before you. He reached down onto the bed for the small pink toy that you had forgotten about. He flicked it on, brought his other hand down and around your throat to pull you up against him, and held the small vibrator right onto your clit. The pounding pressure of his dick paired with the fervent vibrations had you seeing stars. You came. Hard. You didn’t know how long the orgasm had lasted. When you came to, you were lying on your back on the bed, breathing still labored, as Embry cleaned your thighs off with a damp towel. He noticed you looking up at him. 

“Hey, Sweetheart,” he cooed.

“Hey,” you responded weakly. 

“How ya doing?” 

“Really good,” you laughed. 

“Yeah?” he beamed at you as you nodded in response. “Good. I’m gonna get you some water and then we can cuddle, okay?” You only smiled in contentment as he walked off into the hallway, returning shortly with a cup of cold water. “Sit up for me?” 

“Can’t,” you answered, eliciting a laugh from him. 

“C’mon, I’ll help you,” he spoke as he gently held the back of your head, supporting you as you leaned up to drink from the cup he was holding up to your mouth. After you took a few sips, he seemed satisfied and placed the cup on the floor, lying down next to you and pulling you close. “If you start ignoring me after that, I might have to kill you,” he teased. 

“Don’t worry. I won’t ever ignore you again.” You sighed in contentment, listening to Embry’s soothing heartbeat, before you began to wonder. “By the way, what the heck kind of research did you do?” 

He huffed a laugh before responding, “Some guy on the internet called Owen Grey.”