#I’m tired of dealing with this bullshit

[thexmistress]

The Dilemma

Sukuna x Reader

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮Warnings:: Angst of course, slight mention of sex, manipulation, toxic relationship, spineless reader, etc etc :p 🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

That feeling you get when you try your hardest to reach out but your efforts go in vain. That feeling you get that rises up from the bottom of your stomach….. traveling up your chest… then to your heart where it festers…. The pain is so unbearable but for some reason you find comfort in it…. It gives you reassurance that you still have some fight in you… still have hope that you can keep the remnants of your relationship from deteriorating. You started off strong at first, you truly did, but now it just feels like you’re in the middle of ocean trying to keep afloat on a wooden plank. You felt useless and overwhelmed.

Looking down at your phone you see that all 6 of your messages were read by Sukuna earlier this morning. Your last message being a ‘Good Morning ❤️’ accompanied by a ‘Read 7:34am’. You knew this was bound to happen sooner or later. You should’ve known this was coming and prevented it but you kept opening your mouth and kept fucking things up. Chuckling to yourself as you put your phone down and continued to paint on your canvas but that feeling again was starting to creep up to your chest, and before you knew it, your eyes began to water while you struggle to keep your hand straight. Who knew drawing a line could be so hard? You try to focus on the painting but your mind keeps going back to the last conversation you guys had 2 days ago.

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“I just think it’s weird how she’s always calling you….. like I understand you guys are friends but really baby? It’s literally 12am… I think that’s a bit much…” you peeped at the clock on the nightstand and noted the time was actually ‘12:40am’. Your voice that once held passion and certainty came out timid, scared that if you said something wrong it would upset him, but even then your efforts go in vain as you see your lover roll his eyes at you and sigh heavily as he began to rub his face with hands exasperatedly.

It’s that feeling again. You feel it bubbling in your stomach as you instantly regret what you just said but it was already too late the moment he opened his mouth and began to invalidate how you feel like usual. It was always the usual to you so much to the point where you started to second guess your own feelings. Your gaze that was on the floor flickered back up to him catching a quick glance at his eyes but the moment you seen the annoyance that flooded his eyes you quickly look away not being able to handle the way it made that feeling in your stomach skyrocket to your chest. “Are you really starting this bullshit again? Really Y/N?”

His questioning lingered in the air for a few seconds until he felt even more annoyed by your silence. “Well you brought it up right? Why you not saying anything? Look at me when I’m talking to you like a normal fucking adult!” The tone of his voice made you snap your eyes up, holding back tears but the stinging feeling it was causing in your eyes wasn’t helping. “Why are you crying? Why-“, stopping mid sentence he pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers and sighed, “Listen. I’m not going to explain this again. Mei is just a friend. I don’t see you making this a big deal when Yuji or one of the bros call me around this time. Mei is a bro. A. Friend.”

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That’s right. Just a friend. Okay maybe you are toxic….. you make a mental note to not bring that up again but you’re starting to feel it. Starting to feel tired of everything. The no text backs unless he feels like it, how he’s so quiet on the phone and you’re always carrying the conversation, the ‘parallel play’ that you’ve become accustomed to and the fact you didn’t even know it was a thing until you were on Reddit asking strangers were you wrong for wanting to spend time with your boyfriend alone instead of always sharing him with his bros. You will always remember that day but only because of how much his words shattered you.

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“Bro what the fuck! Kill him!” Sukuna was yelling at his monitor fully engaged in the game with his headset on both ears but the volume was still loud that you can hear the giggles of his friends through them. It was the typical people in the PlayStation party; Satoru, Yuji, Suguru, and Utahime. You peeked at him but returned your attention back to your kdrama you were watching on your phone (had to get romance from somewhere right?). You couldn’t help but to start to feel annoyed and a bit angry at the fact that you were supposed to be over his house to spend time with him since he was off from work today. You usually wouldn’t mind this but lately that’s all you guys have been doing and it’s starting to bother you. Come over his house, sit on his bed while he plays the game then fuck.. How Romantic.

Before you went home you spoke about how you felt and how it feels like you were getting the bare minimum since you were the main one who would suggest hanging out or making plans, the main one calling first, the main one trying to make conversation because if you don’t speak he’s more than likely not going to start a conversation…. It’s like you’re just here. You were nervous and felt like you just committed blasphemy for even letting that slip out your lips and apparently he thought the same to because he gave you a look as if you just stabbed him in the chest and you can’t really remember all the things he said but what will forever stick to you was when he said,

“why are you measuring my love with ‘effort’? If you love me and I do give you the bare minimum that should be enough.”

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You didn’t even noticed you stopped painting until you started to sniff realizing that you were crying. You put down your paintbrush and wiped your tears and nose as you picked up your phone to see no notifications from Sukuna as expected but you couldn’t help but to feel a little hope that he would text you. It’s been 2 days since you’ve heard from him and you’re trying really hard not to come off as clingy so you’ve been sticking to texting him and not holding it against him because like he always says he’s a bad texter.

You go on instagram to see that he posted yet another story and you can’t help but to start another turmoil within yourself…..

‘Am I truly asking for too much?’

‘Am I too invested?’

‘Is it too much to ask for a clingy, emotional available boyfriend?’

You sighed as took a picture of the almost finished portrait of Sukuna and posted it on your instagram story before sending it him with a text that follows ‘Almost done! 😊’. You were about to put your phone down until you felt a vibration causing you to look back down at the screen to see him reply ‘❤️’. Suddenly you felt lighter and that nagging feeling went away causing you to feel nothing but relief.

See, he still loves me.

[chrissy-kaos]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK IM TALKING ABOUT. @staff GET CONTROL OF YOUR FUCKING SITE. NOBODY WANTS THIS FUCKING TRASH ON THEIR POST.

[stuckinapril]

As a bi woman, I get crushes on women so easily!!! I need tO CALM DOWN!! BUT how do i do that??? Like i just met this girl and I already think she's hella cute and wondering if she's bi or something.. God, help me!!!

the answer is u don’t. u dont calm down. women are wonderful and (i’m genuinely saying this with a straight face, full chest) i wish i were attracted to them like that every fucking day.

[chrollohearttags]

y’all know them troll stan accts on twt that post just to put ppl against each other or start shit? That’s what a lot of you give and I just want y’all to know, y’all are corny as hell and you don’t deserve to read anybody’s fics. All y’all deserve are shitty booktok recs at best.

[mellomadness]

sometimes I wonder if I should take a gender studies class just so I can bitch every day about how an imaginary boyfriend is often seen as a requirement for a woman to feel safe enough to have fun at a club, or the idea that an imaginary person with a fake “claim” over me has more influence over predatory men than my own voice saying “No, I’m not interested, get lost”

[galariangengar]

Once again, I text the girl aka my only lab partner at my table for my gen chem class for help on something for a lab report due at 11:59 pm, she promises to get back to me when she’s at the part I’m stuck at, I check my messages, bitch has her notifications on silence and never responded back to me 🙃

[rosicheeks]

You've been so quiet lately, Princess. We love you and what you post be it a trickle or a tsunami. May you feel all the love and adoration we have for you when you read this and all the asks we send you.

[ukrainian-psycho]

i wish i figured it out sooner

[shadestepping]

I am 100% done with people who always have something negative to say about other people, who always want to fight.

If you’re disturbing my peace, you have nothing to offer me. Take your toxicity somewhere else and work on yourself, because I am trying to work on me and I can’t keep letting myself get sucked back into being stuck in fight-mode. I do not have the capacity for that anymore, stress and anger is killing me.

Stay mad if you want, but I want to live.

[larrycommitsarson]

it hasn’t even been 24 hours yet but i’ve got more content for the salbie au, don’t worry i’m not going to make an entire ramble for it.

i worked on this in the middle of class and it was the reason most of my battery was drained but it was worth it lol

anyways for au context, sal didn’t learn that he was technically dead in the best way. he didn’t take the information well either.

[foxqueen-katarian]

I shouldn’t need to get a doctors note saying ‘Hey this bitch allergic to pollen’ for management to listen to me.

I also shouldn’t need to ‘suck it up’ for two weeks because other people want to ‘celebrate’ Easter.

I got three hours of sleep last night because my body was dealing with the after effects of being around your ugly fucking flowers for eight hours.

[neutron-stars-collision]

I really don’t like the overwhelming feeling that I’m being annoying for everyone on here and everywhere else 🙃

[mischiefmanifold]

every time someone talks about how queer can't be neutral until no one uses it negatively my mind always goes back to "if you are a minority, your entire identity is a slur" thing. There may always be people who will use our identities against us. I wish there wasn't, but the fact that it can't be neutral until no one uses it negatively is very hopeful thinking. -A proud genderqueer person.

this entire thing

[juniperhillpatient]

u know when ur just so fucking tired & u want to be kind & compassionate but the bullshit just wears u down & ur just sitting there trying to deal with an exhausting person like this

[stonesandswords]

love it when ur therapist, knowing full well that you struggle with familial, personal, and therapeutic abandonment doesn’t show up to your set appointment time and then still charges you for it.

thanks for that really 🙃🙃🙃

[soulvee-animationz]

I woke up earlier and my brother and one of the little shits won’t stop screaming god please kill me