#I’m trying my best to cope
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hello !!! i'm ...
➟ sugar !! i also go by charlie , echo , scott , timmy -- call me whatever's more comfortable for u !!
➟ i'm genderfluid, asexual and biromantic + greyromantic !!
➟ my CURRENT hyperfixations are on NINJAGO and the TRAFFIC LIFE SERIES !! if you're seeing THIS pinned introduction, TRAFFIC LIFE SERIES is currently the MAIN brainrot !
➟ i am a 🚸 MINOR ⚠️ !! please interact with this in mind !!!
➟ i have GAD [ generalized anxiety disorder ] , separation anxiety disorder , social anxiety disorder , selective mutism , depression , DPD [dependent personality disorder] , ARFID [ avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder ] , and involuntary age regression ! though these topics probably won't be discussed at length , please keep them in mind when interacting with me !! at times i may go NON-VERBAL or slip into LITTESPACE , and i ask you be patient with me at those times, thank you !
➟ this is a FANDOM SIDEBLOG - my main blog is @sugrx !! here is where i post FANFICTION, FANART, ANALYSISES , AUS, USERBOXES,,, etc !!
➟ basic ! queerphobes, xenophobes, misognists, sexists, ableists, racists, terfs, maps, pedos, fatphobes, etc - any and all bigots of ANY shape or form !!
➟ nsfw / fetish / kink blogs !! again , i am a MINOR , and though i'm fine with having mutuals who ARE 18+ , i'd rather avoid 18+ content , thank you !!
#tag system is simple ! ;;#writing is in →#my writing#and art is in →#my art#!!#most of my fandom-related content falls into either of those categories . i try to keep my system so it's not too difficult to navigate!#i also have a tendency to ramble - i put // in order to differentiate between tag rambles and actual tags#for example!#//#pinned introduction#trafficblr#hermitblr#mcytblr#life series#blog intro#///#ta-daa !#though usually actual tags come first and ramble tags are at the bottom for algorithum purposes !#anyway. i decided to make two SEPERATE intro posts because i couldn't decide on which theme to go w/ for it and couldn't find a way to -#combine them in a way which didn't clash LOL#this is also my first time talking abt copinglink on tumblr !! thought this be the best place to put this since my linktypes r fictional#i'm hoping it will help me deal with my anxiety better and stop w/ other actual bad coping habits !!#i don’t know TOO much abt the alter human community so pls lmk if I’m not allowed to kin this way / coping link is problematic ;; /gen#i did some research and couldn't find anything saying it was offensive / controversial and i just think it would be a healthy-#-way to gain confidence and adapt to healthy coping ! but pls lmk if this is discomfiting / upsetting to anyone and i'll stop !#or at least not mention it publicly . i mostly only copinglink around close mutuals / friends anyway -#- and tend to consider myself an ' au ' / separate from distinctly canon so don't mind referring to them as separate entites at all#if that makes ppl more comfortable !!
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There is just something about Cole’s section of the six virtues of spinjitzu shorts. His virtue is balance. He learns how to find peace when overwhelmed, after years of running away, disassociating, feeling too exposed, feeling invisible and feeling like he had the weight of his team, his parents, the world on his soldiers.
He finally learnt how to balance that weight.
#cole’s arcs are everything#every single one was a banger#s1 him having daddy issues and running away#s4 running away from his team after falling out with his best friend#s5 feeling useless and disposable after going through a horrific body change#dotd feeling forgotten about and being able to emphasise with phantoms because of this#s8-9 being able to become give back to the person who gave him so much - but fatherly#s11 having to deal with his own self blame due to losing the traveller’s tea and being able to meet someone else who is also just trying to#the right thing#ALL OF S13#my man was so hard on himself#I’m so glad he has coping mechanisms now#ninjago#Ninjago cole#ninjago analysis
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the Wyll hate on Reddit and IG is unbelievable and does feel kinda racist sometimes.
#I say this as a nonblack person and I’m not trying to start drama but oh my god people really hate him! Like hate.#I don’t hate any of the the companions idk even know how you would they’re some I like more than others but like to say he’s this awful#Hypocrite…he’s trying his best to hold onto ideals his dad instilled thatre inherently compromised by his choice to save BG…the hero thing#Is cope just like Astarions charming act is cops and SH’s aloofness is cope and….idk just….hes a good boy leave him ALONE#Wyll#wyll ravenguard#i am the wyll defender
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I’ll never understand younger siblings whining about their older siblings moving away like I bet yall were nasty and annoying too like wow all those years and you claim to adore the older sibling and post oh woe is me the older sibling abandoned me … girl … the older sibling didn’t have a parental certificate or anything.
#since when were we friends nor did I have any obligation over you or towards you#we are literally roommates here acting like we’re friends#dora daily#I say this cause I saw yet another younger sibling on tiktok trying to make themselves a victim like the older one is clearly avoiding the#whole family and changing their phone number so u guys don’t contact for a reason like wth did you guys do that’s so bad they would go#through all that trouble#‘older siblings will never understand how doing that affects us physically and mentally’ oh quit whining and cope#I didn’t have an older sibling I relied on only myself heck not even strangers help me when I’m in dire need#I think yall need to cope harder and wake up to the real world#not all younger siblings but a lot of them like my little brother 13yo is good id never want to abandon him but the rest … yeah bye#idgaf you should’ve not been an idiot because believe me ik kids mess up but not like this#and now she’s grovelling at my feet bye grovel harder#like just an hour ago or so she came up to me and was like I’m going to school for the first day are you gonna miss me#I said no because she always tells me no when I ask her if she missed me#and somehow she had the audacity to be upset like okay#the same girl who tells me to move out btw#my mum said oh u have to be her best friend cause if she has nobody here then she will have to rely on strangers#and she would find herself in trouble cause they don’t have good intent oh gee I wonder which person caused me to do that#it’s honestly ironic#like Eris and virtue happened because she couldn’t step up and be a normal mother byeeee#and anyways whyre you acting like having a sibling is essential#it honestly isn’t like why would I be nice to a girl who dogs on me and beats me up and is disrespectful#she’s not that young anymore she’s almost 12#‘oh they have different personalities’ well i hate hers and im not to be forced to like it either its my right
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this is my little girl 💖
she’s running low on time with us, and my dad has been saying things along the lines of ‘this is why I don’t like pets’, because he finds the grieving process so hard.
I don’t fault him for that, he just feels loss deeply and deals with it differently.
sometimes I even find myself falling briefly into the same thinking. ‘what if making a different choice all those years ago saved me and my family from this grief and this pain?’
but I also know there’s no way I would make a different decision. no amount of grief could outweigh the joy she’s brought us over these last fifteen years. the laughter, the comfort, the connection.
I think about hikes with my dad when she was tiny and able bodied and would race up ahead of us on the trails and then race back to check on us. I think about the first time she saw snow and she instantly turned into a tiny fluffy bunny rabbit, hopping through drifts that were ankle deep for us but nearly buried her, and the matted snowballs she came away with, looking like a tiny curly haired yeti.
I think of her interrupting GrammE and John’s wedding along with Sagie, confusion turning into laughter as they sped after each other across the backyard ceremony. I think of my mom, lonely on the island and isolated during covid, telling me that Ginger was her saving grace.
and these don’t even scratch the surface. fifteen years of love she’s given us.
so yeah. losing her is going to damn near break me and I know that. but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
#you don’t have to read the post I just want people to look at my baby#if you have non-human family members give them a little extra love#I’m trying so hard to remind myself that not only have these last fifteen years been a gift#but these last six months or so have been a straight up miracle#I love her so much#I worry about how my mom is going to cope with her loss#she’s my best friend but she’s lived with my mom since my mom moved out#and so she’s been a daily companion to her and part of all of her routines#on one hand I’m relieved because caring for a dog especially an aging and disabled one#is a lot of work and my mom herself is already disabled and needs additional help#(and sometimes that resulted in me worrying that both of them weren’t getting proper care for their health)#but on the other hand I do think Ginge had been the biggest part of combating loneliness for my mom#especially after losing Tan#anyway I’m uh maybe crying too much to type now so I’m gonna call it#but I might post more photos of my little old lady baby over the next few days#because I love her and I think other people should too lol#personal#tw pet death#tw pet loss#(she’s not gone yet to be clear but I’m tagging these for other people’s sake bc I know it’s upsetting)#(she’s in the final days/weeks of kidney failure just in case anyone is wondering why I’m making assumptions about her passing)#toy poodle#poodle#pet#dog#puppy
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every weekday after work (except monday) I get to drive over to the thrift shop :)
#i’ve been not feeling the best recently#i’m on birth control and def have some cholesterol issues rn and some memory/brain fog but i’m so used to it at this point#i’m working 7 days a week right now#weekends 12 hrs at the book store (now sundays with my dad!) and week days at summer camps for three hours a day#i’m just trying to get through this summer but it feels like it’s taking forever#i’ve spent five years needing to go to the doctor and never going to the doctor for many things#but I’m coping by going to the thrift shop and looking for vintage toys#and recently they’ve gotten in a bunch of 90s collector barbie’s and i’m more into play line stuff so i only grabbed one#but they’ve had some new ones!#i don’t really dig the modern barbie but they got in a 90s gymnast barbie so i grabbed her today !!#still hoping for some g1 or g3 ponies#(or g2 but of course that’s a long shot especially in the US)#and obviously i’m always looking for LPS
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#I did get to talk to a crisis counselor for an hour and it was more helpful than other hotlines I’ve used#what I rly need is for the structural issues to be solved n no counselor can do that. I face that on the other end of it as a social worker#and the interaction did feel v much like they were following a set of steps. but they personalized it enough to feel supportive#they validated me in ways I never rly get and I’m always saying I wish someone would just believe me n recognize what I go thru#we also talked abt how I’m like tired of always having to solve huge problems but that’s also smth im best at#like it sucks to have to handle all this but I’m good at handling it bc I have to be#the words they used were ‘drive’ and ‘independence’ which like lowkey meant the world even tho they don’t know me#n I told the person that. idk it didn’t make me feel better abt the situation but it made me feel better in that someone acknowledged it#n that I was even able to get a hold of someone competent n compassionate#it takes away that feeling of ‘and on top of it all I can’t seek help + a hotline will feel pointless’#idk. I may delete this and/or a bunch of my venting from today#not even as a shame thing but just. I need to be able to be honest Somewhere without being reminded of it too much after I’ve processed it#man it’s just like. it always feels condescending trying to help clients w Coping Strategies when what they need is money#and it’s like. if they only knew we have the same problem ourselves. would they trust us more or less#mine#txt#personal
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it’s taking everything in me to try n change my way of thinking from “I hate everything, I hate myself” to “im grateful for waking up today and i shouldn’t be so hard on myself bcuz im trying” and omfg it is so challenging
#vent#depress3d#anxienty#mental health#coping#tw depressing stuff#venting#mentally exhausted#depeession#self h@rm#i’m trying#trying my best#self healing#trauma coping#self improvement
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This week it’s definitely me, my warm bed, my heating pad, old Charmed (1998) and House (2004) episodes, and my Halloween candy against the world.
#l'm like 99% sure I have pmdd but I literally have no insurance and the free clinics around here suck so l'm trying to cope the best I can#I’m so glad I chose online classes bc I’m so fatigued and doing my work on my phone is so convenient at this time omg
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#I don’t feel excited about anything anymore#I keep trying to feel the way I used to about tv or movies or books or special events in my life#but there’s just this… hollow apathy#I’m just going through the days#alive but not there#what’s the point of living and being alive when nothing gives you any happiness#I know the whole ‘there will always be low points but that makes the highs all the better’ argument#but it’s been so low for so long and I can’t imagine ever feeling a high point again#it’s all just going to get worse from here#how do you cope when this is objectively the best time of your life and the most well off you’ll ever be but you’re still miserable#it’s pathetic#It’s going to be this but worse for the rest of my life and then nothing#and I’m so lucky with what I have and where I am and I’m still. so. sad.#it’s pathetic and stupid and I hate that I’m like this#I just… I don’t want to keep doing this#what do I do#tw: depression#tw: hopeless
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Body practice goes brrrrrr
#dungeons and daddies#dndads#I think Ron looks the best#this is just anatomy practice lmao#so nothing serious here#just trying to understand the thing called body#I got angry because of my dad and this is how I cope now lol#I’m still pretty sad tho#but also happy how it turned out#will do Darryl and Hen again#Glenn close#Henry oak#Darryl Wilson#Jodie foster#Ron stampler
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I mean this from a social perspective not a health one : why does everything feel weird right now. Like yes I’m heartbroken about the reality of my position in the lives of my so called friends but now I just feel confused. I don’t understand why I’m not important and why I can’t change to be important to others, nor what makes a person important either.
#like okay yeah I’ve been lowkey crying in the middle of the night because of how unimportant I feel but that’s down pat now we get it#I just want to know why am I not ? like am I doing something wrong ? I could’ve sworn I’m trying my best to not be annoying frustrating and#to be there but the reality of things is that I can’t always be there given my condition#sometimes I wonder how hard it is to ask me a simple ‘are you okay’ or ‘how are you’ or god forbid that I am missed lmao pls fniesksn ignore#the last one I think that’s too much but at least the other two#I don’t want to tell people to ask me these because then it feels fake and that they’re doing it just for the sake of getting me to shut up#about it but I don’t know#dora daily#a reason why I hate insta with my whole life because it just never fails to prove how worthless I really am#like I could’ve died yk … and it’d still be the sahara desert there#anyways I like being alone a lot something I’ve found out about myself#(I hate it actually but I only like it because I cannot make myself do anything like even talking seems so very exhausting so I can manage#with the loneliness when I’m ill but I can’t cope with it when I’m even a smidge better)#sigh.#just sigh. where did I get my friends from and why does everyone seem to love their friends so much but I cannot#don’t get me wrong I talk about how much I love them to everyone and if I don’t I obsess abt them in my head but it is not reciprocated to#be honest. not at all#and that’s what makes me sad. I still love them because I love unconditionally it seems#but from a conditional viewpoint they do not cut it#and that makes me disappointed#that’s why I’d kill to be loved or heck even remotely liked the way I like others even half of that yk#I am not a good person in my eyes but I would do so much just to be liked like that I wish I knew why I’m not worth being liked only worthy#of being tolerated.
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Im sorry you're feeling tired and aren't having the best of days Skyy :(. Here's a little bed though to hopefully make your day even just a little better: 🛏️. I hope tomorrow goes smoother for you :).
Thank you. A little bed is all I need right now. In fact I have just gone to bed so this is perfect. :)
#ask#feelingkozy#I’m sorry for the tired posts I just. needed a way to cope I guess#thank you you guys (I hope saying that isn’t offensive-) are the best :)#I have work all day tomorrow so hopefully I can at least rest easy there#it’s been a week now of almost nonstop bad feelings and. I’m just. so SO tired#I had a minor panic attack a few minutes ago actually#a blanket was thrown across the room and an irn bru van was crushed both within my fist and under my foot#can*#and I also punched the sofa and made my knuckle bleed a little bit whoops#but up in my room on my bed I feel safer. calmer.#so thank you. a bed in this trying time means so much.m yo me#once again thank you bestie 💙
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I’ve no real interest in playing bg3 plus it would explode my horrendous macbook but is there options to verbally berate that vampire guy when he hits on you. if not, why
#from what I see he wants to cope bone you in like ??? middle of the woods#first of I’m sleeping second off put ur dick away third off I’m gonna get a big up my ass#I don’t know the context but if a man ever came up to me ass out and all while I’m trying to sleep on my camping trip or whatever#better pray 2 god he only gets verbally assaulted by me#can I make a character who just hates him so much. if not why#I genuinely believe my dislike of him is cuz he’s so popular and I have to see him all the time#it’s a silly dislike it’s like when u bully ur best friends and it’s a laugh for everyone
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maybe tomorrow will be better.
xx
#girl blogger#girlblogging#coqette#lana del rey#dear diary#this is me coping#i’m trying my best#you can too#you’ll be okay#i promise#it will be alright#just give it time#breathe#<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3#take care of your soul#take care of your body
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Me: Maybe this December will be better than some recent ones because I won’t sustain an injury to a key body part! :D
Refrigerator: *stops working and can’t be repaired, necessitating that I buy a new one immediately*
Washing Machine: *starts tearing itself apart on the inside and can’t be repaired, necessitating that I buy a new one ASAP*
My Supervisor Who is the Best Boss I’ve Ever Had: I’m leaving for another job!
Other Supervisor Who Doesn’t Like to Listen When I Explain Things to Her: *keeps questioning me about the same damn thing* *gets appointed Director of our unit*
Me:
#kidk says stuff#I’m coping I’m doing my best I’m not panicking#but like#why’s December gotta be this way when I’m just trying to have a holiday spirit?#I keep saying ‘well at least I havent sustained a musculoskeletal injury requiring months of physical therapy!’#and then I look at the calendar and remember hey! month’s only half over!!#((reminder last year I fucked up my whole right arm/shoulder/collarbone and 2019 I sprained my ankle))#((couple years before that I fucked up my right hip and leg))
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