#I’ve binge-watched all three shows in the past month

[operationbigskye]

Tall Goofy Guys on TV

[ysljoon]

konig is your roommate

wc: 995 warnings: none just fluff, quick mentions of crying, fem reader (not much metions of female characteristics) a/n: oh lord my first contribution to the cod fandom after consuming brainrot on here and tiktok for the past couple of months :3 i can def do a pt 2 to this with smut but i just wanted to dip my toes in first and see if anybody even likes this lmao MINORS DNI (have your age in your bio or you're getting blocked)

How you ended up with a man in his mid 30s that’s retired from the military as a roommate is beyond you

You were a broke teacher living paycheck to paycheck and you needed to find a way to conserve costs

You posted a Craigslist posting (definitely not shady at all) looking for a roommate and he messaged you within the first hour of you posting to see if he could check the place out!

It was mildly jarring seeing a 6’10 man in a black surgical mask show up ringing your doorbell. You couldn’t even see above his chest when you looked through the peephole 

He was so quiet when you first tried to spark up a conversation with him that you thought he hated your apartment and maybe even you…

Before he even finished his tour of the apartment he took out an envelope of cash from his pocket that had enough to cover the first three months of rent :0

He moved in all of his belongings the following week while texting you a few times leading up to his move in date just confirming what time he’ll be showing up and if you’re still okay with the agreement

He was equally dry over text as he was in person it was a hard obstacle to jump over to get him to open up with you

The first time he actually started a conversation with you was when he saw you diligently working in the living room on a lesson plan for the upcoming week

At first he just sat down on the couch silently from you just watching you and this didn’t bother you as you’ve come to learn that he is more of an observer than a talker

“Um…what are you working on?” 

Your head shot up and a smile spread on your face this was the first time Konig has expressed any interest in your career

“I’m cutting out flashcards I made for the kids so they can match the words to the pictures! I just procrastinated a little bit so I’m doing it all now.” You chuckled and he hummed in acknowledgement 

After that conversation the interactions over the months got a lot more comfortable 

So here we are now (it’s been about 5 months) and you and Konig are having your weekly movie and pizza night

You let Konig pick the movie this week and you were quite surprised that he chose ‘Inside Out’

Seeing such a large man engrossed in such a cute animated movie made your cheeks hurt with how it made you smile

He was quite surprised when he turned around and saw tears running down your cheeks after watching the scene of Bing Bong die

His eyes widened and without thinking he scooped you up into a hug while you let out all the sad feelings from the characters sacrifice

“Gosh Konig I’m so sorry! That was really silly. I shouldn't be crying so hard over a kid’s movie.”

You looked up at him and your eyes met with his cerulean ones. They had such a tender look to them and it made you and the room feel a lot hotter than what you remember 

With a haste Konig pulled down his mask and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek 

Needless to say you guys just stared at each other like this: :000 for about a minute before either of you said anything

You were the first one to speak up

“Konig, that was the cutest thing you’ve ever done.”

He just blushed and broke the eye contact and coughed to try and clear his throat

“I, u-um I wanted to do that for a while actually.”

Hearing him say this made you giggle and to reciprocate the feelings  you’ve also been holding on to you placed a peck onto his forehead.

“I’ve wanted to do that for a while too so now we’re even! The ball’s in your court now Konig, do with that info what you will.”

You pranced off into your room and giggled while Konig was stuck on the couch just absolutely stunned as to what happened.

The next day you wake up and see a note that was slipped under your door. You open it up and it brings a warm smile to your face

‘Dinner at my place tonight! Wear something nice ;)’ You giggled knowing that Konig wasn’t the biggest fan of being in crowded places so a dinner at home was a perfect plan

You noticed Konig wasn’t home so you decided to go to the grocery store really quick and pick up two bottles of white wine for the night

Once you were back at the house you heard Konig was in the shower so you decided to go take a shower yourself and get yourself ready.

You decided to go the full nine yards and put on a red velvet mini dress and do your hair 

When you stepped out you saw Konig already at the stove getting dinner ready. You snuck up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist 

“Whatcha cookin’?” Your voice was muffled into his back and you felt the vibrations of his chuckle

“It's a surprise schatz so go sit in the living room till I’m done”

“What’s a schatz?” All he did was laugh at your response and usher you out the kitchen

You sat in the living room with a pout on your face until you heard Konig call your name to let you come back into the kitchen

Your mouth watered seeing the chicken parmesan dished out and two poured out glasses of wine

“Oh Konig, this is great!” You stood on your tippy toes to give him a kiss of gratefulness

“Careful Y/N if you keep kissing me like that we’ll never get to dinner…” The sound of his voice was deep and a bit gruff

“And is that really a problem?”

[no-phrogs-in-hats]

Baby Steps Part 6

Larissa x pregnant!reader

Summary: Larissa and Reader's life as parents

A/N: Final part bitches!!! Hope you enjoyed it!

Read Part 5 here

You were completely and utterly exhausted–and sore. But you couldn’t remember a time in your life when you were happier. 

Laying back in the hospital bed, you watched with a dazed and sleepy smile as Larissa held Ramona in her arms. A bright smile was plastered on her face, accompanied by eyes that were almost equally as tired as yours. 

“I love you,” you mumble, your stare at her unwavering. 

Larissa, with the baby still in her arms, walked over to you and pecked you on the lips. “I love you too, darling. And may I just say, you made quite a cute baby.”

“I have many talents,” you giggle, accepting another kiss from Larissa.

“How the hell do people use these?” you groan as you try to buckle Ramona into her carseat. “Larissa, can you help me?”

It was like magic. Since getting the carseat a few months prior, you had practiced unbuckling and buckling a babydoll into it, and every single time, only Larissa could do it.

“What the fuck??” 

“Language!” Larissa joked. “There’s a baby right here!”

You rolled your eyes and made your way to the hospital bag, double checking that you had everything and more. “Oh, please. She’s two days old, Larissa. All she does is eat and poop.”

“Go lay down. Larissa and I have this.” 

It was the third time you were being scolded by your sister to rest. 

“Mia, no, I have to feed–”

“There is milk in the freezer,” she countered. “Trust me. We’ll be fine. Go rest.”

So, begrudgingly, you listened to her and went to bed.

With Larissa back at Nevermore and you on maternity leave, you had quite a bit of time to yourself when the baby was sleeping. This led to quite a bit of online shopping while binging seasons of new shows when you were bored. However, some of the items you had bought weren’t just for you.

It was eight when you put Ramona to bed, sleeping soundly with a full belly in the nursery. You snuck into your room, shutting the door quietly and completely ignoring Larissa who sat in bed reading her nightly chapter of the book she was reading. You made a B-line for the bathroom, excitement coursing through your veins as you dug through the cabinet under your sink.

You pulled out a skimpy set of red lingerie, knowing damn well how it’d affect Larissa. After throwing it on quickly, you opened the door to the bathroom and posed seductively. And to your satisfaction, she looked up and her mouth instantly dropped. 

Larissa tossed aside her book. “Where did you get that? When did you get that?”

“Well,” you said, creeping closer, “I’ve had quite a bit of free time…” On your hands and knees, you crawled into bed and up to Larissa. “And I thought, you’ve been so helpful lately that you deserve a little…treat.”

“Three more weeks,” Larissa muttered to herself. “Three more weeks…three more weeks…”

You giggled and pressed a kiss to her lips. “Just because I have to wait three more weeks doesn’t mean you have to wait. I’m not the only one here who’s able to have a mind blowing orgasm, Larissa.”

And with that, she pulled you in for a deep and passionate kiss, holding you close and breathing heavily when she pulled away from your lips to get a few words out. “You, my love, will be the absolute death of me.”

“I’m counting on it.”

The past five years had flown by almost too quickly. With Ramona’s fifth birthday just a few days away and her starting kindergarten just a week after, yours and Larissa’s life was absolute chaos.

“Mom and Dad said they’ll be able to come over for the party,” you said from the kitchen island with a cup of coffee in your hand. “Mia said she can bring her boys over for some cake and almost every kid from Ramona’s daycare class will be here. So that’s…thirteen people coming over.”

Larissa, who was at the sink washing dishes, sighed. “Okay, so I guess we could just order a few pizzas. The kids will eat anything sweet, so we could just get a sheet cake from the market bakery. We have the pool, so that should keep everyone occupied most of the time.”

“We still need to get the decorations, though,” you said. “Ramona wants all pink. We could go tomorrow…have her pick the stuff out…take her to lunch. We need to get her some school supplies too. She starts on the 26th.”

Larissa turned the water off and dried off her hands, turning around and pouring herself a glass of wine at the island. “I think that’s a good idea. She could pick out some snacks too. Maybe a thing of soda. Between that and cake, though, these kids will have a world record sugar rush.”

“Oh, my darling,” you said, grinning into your glass. “The sugar rush will be bad, but think about the sugar crash.”

There were children everywhere and you were thankful for the backyard renovation you did a couple years prior. Multiple times, Ramona had insisted Larissa throw her in the pool and when she asked why you couldn’t do it, Ramona whined and said, “Cuz you’re taller so it’s funner! Please!!”

It was complete domestic bliss. Watching Larissa play mermaids with your daughter filled you with more joy than you could’ve imagined–especially when Larissa actually shifted a mermaid tail and all the kids went berserk. 

The sun was setting when the pizza arrived and mermaid-Larissa was completely forgotten about when the kids found out it was stuffed crust pizza. The three large pizzas were absolutely devoured and the cake was practically torn to bits. 

You met Larissa’s eyes across the patio, and noticing she looked horrified by the kids’ sugar rush, you mouthed, ‘Sugar crash,’ and she rolled her eyes and smiled before cleaning up empty pizza boxes and used paper plates.

Larissa groaned as she got into bed beside you and pecked you on the cheek. “I am exhausted. I don’t know how your sister does it with two kids. I could barely handle throwing Ramona in the pool twenty times.”

You paused the typing on your laptop where you were finalizing summer-school grades. You didn’t know what to say. The nausea would come and go, but you truly thought you were just sick with something a student gave you, and then you counted the days back to June. Your sister had taken Ramona for a week to give you and Larissa a little break. And that break led to a little road trip to a beach further south, which led to…a lot of sex–to put it bluntly–and a lot of experimenting. 

Well it’s sooner or later, you thought. Without a word, you shut your laptop and went into the bathroom. You came back out with your hand behind your back and an uneasy look on your face.

“What is it?” Larissa asked, looking up at you.

“Well…” You let out a deep breath. “Remember in June, when we went to the beach, and we did that…thing?” Larissa still looked confused. “You know…the shapeshifting thing…That we both really liked…?”

Larissa’s eyes widened. “Oh! Yeah…What abou–” 

Her words were cut short as your hand came out from behind your back, fingers clasped around a positive pregnancy test. You handed it to her, and the second she saw it, she gasped. “Are you serious?”

“You’re not mad, are you?” you asked.

Larissa beamed like the morning sun. “Mad? Darling, how could I be mad?” She got on her knees and pulled you into bed, laughing with you and pressing kisses all over your face. 

“I dunno,” you shrugged. “It’s just so sudden and…unexpected.”

 Larissa shook her head and kissed you firmly on the lips. “My love, some of the best things in life are sudden and unexpected.”

Tag list: @gwenistheloml @barbarasstar @gwendolinechristierulez @furrysharkfart @yourgaeyisshowing

[alloveydovey]

Dramas I watched this past month!

Overprotected Kahoko (jdrama) 8

I'm on a quest to find good jdramas because when they're bad, they're crazy bad, but when they're good, they become instant comfort. The vibes in this one are 100% there. Overprotected by her mother, a 22-year-old meets her complete opposite, and in the midst of falling in love, she decides she wants to become a real adult… all this around her messy (yet charming) relatives. It was a small cute, and heartwarming family drama. I don’t really have much to say other than that I love Kahoko, she’s the cutest.

Queen of the Ring (kdrama) 7?

FL puts on a ring that has the ability to make her crush see her as a beautiful girl. I watched this one because I loved Kim Seul Gi in Splash Splash Love and Ahn Hyo Seop was enough excuse to check it out. I kinda hated it but enjoyed it at the same time? It makes me mad to see how they judged everything by looks (especially both ML and FL) but let’s be honest, It was realistic. It was a bit hard to believe, though, because I didn’t think the FL was ugly at all. What didn’t convince me about this one was that most of the love story happens while she’s wearing the ring and so it kinda ruins it for me.

Jitenshaya-san no Takahashi-kun (jdrama) ?

Kinda good girl x bad boy trope? Except the bad boy isn't really a bad boy, he just looks like one.

I can’t really rate by number because it was too short and, to be honest, I got what I expected. Soft and simple. He fixes bikes and fixes her, they later begin to hang out and get closer. No serious drama, just two people starting a relationship.

Touch Your Heart (kdrama) 7.5

A rom-com drama with Lee Dong Wook and Yoo In Na’s amazing chemistry from Goblin sounds so good on paper. I feel like I should have watched this one right after I watched Goblin, but I never did.

Even though the chemistry between them was still there and strong, the show and both characters felt a bit stiff? They could have used them a lot better but were given a kind of meh storyline that bored me a little too much by episode 12. Still, they had their moments, and… it’s them 🥹 it’s impossible not to like (despite everything else).

D.P. Season 1 (kdrama) 10

I’ve been putting it off because, even though I knew it was going to be good, in drama world, I go to romance lol.

I 100% watched this because of Jung Hae In (and I was low-key curious about Koo Kyo Hwan after watching him in that episode of Attorney Woo.) Neither of them disappointed. In fact, they gave more than what I was expecting. Their dynamic and acting was impeccable. I really have nothing to say about this one because, yeah, it's a 10/10.

W: Two Worlds (kdrama) 8.5

Nothing beats a 2016 kdrama lol. I started obsessed with this one (even though I remember never adding it to my watchlist because I thought it wouldn't be my cup of tea, silly me). The storyline was extremely entertaining, although all in all, I'm not 100% sure it made sense.

I literally feel like I've lived so much watching it. I was on episode seven, and so many things had happened that I had no idea how they would continue it, and yet things KEPT HAPPENING, and plots kept getting twisted. Perhaps that's the reason why I binged the 12 eps of the drama, but it took me a while to finish the three last episodes. At some point, things started to lose sense, and I couldn't understand what was really going on, which resulted in me getting bored. All in all, it was a worth-it drama though. The romance was 11/10 (kept me on my knees) and the soundtrack 10/10 (old dramas have such bangers man)

Perfect Marriage Revenge (kdrama) 7.5/8

I usually don't like watching these types of drama because sinister family members who do shit just to hurt the leads make my blood boil. Like there's no way someone is THAT evil. I did enjoy this one, though. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but I really liked the love story, the ML's family, and the evil people getting what they deserve.

[sugarpopss]

Lee Bodecker Blurb (2)

This one has actual masturbation in it yay!!! I watched an entire episode of 'I've got a secret' for this and honestly it's not a bad show.

ummm warning for tugging the dick and shame and feedism and me being too into the research

“Is it an element of some kind? Heat? Fire?” 

Bess Meyerson was asking the questions, but would probably get buzzed out soon. Regardless, her melodic voice drowned out the creaks and groans of the old cabin quite nicely. What Miss America 1945 couldn’t drown out were Lee’s sounds, the grunts and huffs he couldn’t help but let out as he shoved his boxers down and grasped his cock in a spit slick hand. 

He focused on Bess’s dark eyes, the way her lips formed the next question (“You have to skate over it, around it, near it?”) the sweep of her neck and the shape of her bust, enthralling even on a 16-inch screen. Equally as enthralling, though not nearly as pretty as a game show panelist, was the weight of Lee’s gut, packed full and warm, weighing him down into the couch cushions. He could feel the ache of food shifting, his stomach trying its very hardest to digest everything inside of it. If he was honest with himself, that feeling alone could’ve gotten him at least half hard. 

Hell, he’d been half hard when he’d torn the cellophane wrapping off a package of waffle creams, cock swelling in anticipation of the feeling of the cookies settling heavy in his gut on top of the TV dinner he’d already had. A strange sort of self-disgust had settled over Lee about halfway through the cookies, a feeling not unfamiliar nor unwelcome. 

Sure, he was disgusted with himself for such behavior-bingeing on junk, every lonely divorcee and slovenly cop joke come to life. It was pathetic and unseemly. 

But by God, it felt so fucking good. The warm weight of fullness helped in every way-helped him get to sleep and filled the cavernous loneliness inside of him for a little bit. And it made him so, so painfully hard. 

Really, he just needed Bess (or Betsy Palmer or Nancy Walters or Beverly Bentley) to get him past the finish line. 

Lee tightened his grip on his cock, sped up the movement of his hand. Bess’s voice had faded and been replaced with a commercial, but he was so close to the edge that it didn’t matter. In his minds eye, her face blended with his ex-wifes; less a whole, solid picture and more an association of vague images, Bess’s hair and Flos perfume and hands and skin and sweat, the warmth of his stuffed gut and the shame and disgust and arousal all mingling and mixing to form the electric shock that made him tip his head back and groan like a bull bellowing in rut. 

By the time Lee was able to shake the post-orgasm haze from his brain, ‘I’ve Got a Secret’ was over and his cum was drying tacky on his hand. He shifted, stripped his undershirt-also spattered with cum-off and tossed it somewhere out of sight. He’d wash it later, along with the rest of his clothes. The automatic washing machine was the one thing he’d invested in when he’d moved from he and Flos house (former house-Flo had sold it and moved down to Virginia less than three months after their divorce was finalized) to the dusty old cabin. Nobody would want to re-elect a sheriff who went around looking like an unkempt sack of shit with a dirty, wrinkled uniform, or who smelled like his own jizz and sweat all day. 

He felt like a sack of shit, though, in uniform or out of it-lonely, melancholic, getting fat and jerking off to women playing rigged guessing games.

[was-it-really-worth-it]

Game 249 - Baldur’s Gate 3 by Larian Studios

I don’t have too much new to say about this game because it’s already been said a ton - it’s critically acclaimed, game of the year, hot vamp summer, etc. still, I quit tumble for 3 months because I didn’t want spoilers so you’re getting my blog post.

What did I think it was at first? I haven’t played any other Baldur’s Gate games, but I have played other Larian games. One day my partners and I will finally finish Divinity Original Sin II. However, I am very familiar with the rules of D&D 5e as I DM extensively and have been playing for 10ish years? The world of the Forgotten Realms is also very comfy to me - I’ve been playing and running games in this world for an age, even including some that take place in Baldur’s Gate.

How was the character creator? Since I’m so familiar with 5e, I was actually a little worried that I’d find the character creation underwhelming since the classes and races are pared down from what’s currently available in official sources for the game. My favorite race, kobold, isn’t playable. (Before you remind me about mods - my computer would catch on fire if I tried to play this game so I’m running it on PS5.) Still, I spent hours in here! Actual hours. There is a little body type diversity, you can pick a non-binary set of pronouns, there’s genitals? for some reason? very many options. You could also choose to play as one of the companion characters like in Divinity. If you make your own character, you can even choose to play a standard storyline or the Dark Urge character. I didn’t choose that myself, but my boyfriend played that character and I watched part of his play through and it was a completely different and very scary game.

I ended up creating a non-binary half-orc life cleric of Tiamat. World’s nicest cleric of an evil dragon god!

There’s probably spoilers after here!

How was the game? I mean, I put 96 hours in it so I must have liked it!

The game is first and foremost a really faithful translation of D&D mechanics. I don’t think I would have enjoyed it nearly as much if I didn’t have the grounding in how the game works - there’s a lot to keep track of and it’s fairly complex. I found it hard to binge as well for that reason. I did play on “Balanced” difficulty because of my familiarity with the system, and I found the combats tough but always fair.

The story feels compelling and the stakes gradually increase over the three acts. I liked that the game clearly signposts for you when you’re about to progress to something that will leave you unable to return to past content. There’s a lot of room for creativity too - you can solve problems in a lot of different ways, and the game does its best to roll with the punches. In particular, combats could be completed both through good attention to action economy or through unorthodox methods like closing doors or building choke points.

The star of the show to me is the cast of companions and other characters. All of the voice acting is well done and you really grow to care about the people in your periphery, even those who only play incidental roles. My two ride or die characters were Astarion and Karlach, and the acting for both characters was extremely well done. They develop over the arc in game. NPCs you interact with also pop up again in surprising places, and depending on how you treat them the story significantly diverges. The world feels alive!

For what it’s worth, I didn’t mess around with the multiplayer so I got to really experience all of the companions in detail. I’d like to play a multiplayer game eventually. Maybe as a companion I didn’t hang out with as much? I kinda want to be Wyll.

One thing I was concerned about was that the game would build this rich narrative with tons of player choice that would eventually boil down to a Mass Effect style red/blue/green choice. I was surprised that this wasn’t the case! Your ending is nuanced based on the choices you make and the endgame state of various characters, relationships, and your use of certain mechanics. My ending was significantly different from many of the other players I have spoken with. The penultimate choices were HARD.

Art wise, it’s gorgeous - though even my PS5 had some issues running all the textures in some areas. The music is also great, though the “down by the river” motif was maddening after how long I spent in character creation and felt a little overused. The fight music in the House of Hope was a bop.

I love how gender, sexuality, and romance were handled in the game - there are tons of same gender couples, non-binary characters, and there weren’t any storylines based on homo/transphobia. It felt true to the way my friends and I play in the Forgotten Realms. I do wish there were more poly options! I loved being able to have a poly relationship but wished it felt less like an afterthought.

What did I not love? I found that the game moved very smoothly though Act 1 and 2, but as I entered Act 3 things began to feel buggy. I had several quests hang out glitched in my quest log as I couldn’t complete them due to the state of my world. Characters began to lag significantly in combat, particularly during large fights.

A lot of my quality of life issues (inventory management, swapping characters in and out of the party) were patched during my time playing the game, which was nice.

My one lasting complaint would be that the end fight felt a little incomplete without the ability to say goodbye and touch base with all of my party members. Hell, Dammon was there with my owlbear hyped up on drugs - but I couldn’t tell Minsc to fight well in the battles to come. I would have loved a Dragon Age: Origins style fight with my companions who didn’t come along holding the line or something like that. The epilogue was a bit of an improvement to this but I still feel like it’s a missed opportunity.

At 92 hours and $80, was it really worth it? Less than a dollar an hour is great! Not to mention that both other members of my household have at least 100 hours in… it’s got excellent value for the money. I had some trepidation at first due to the cost but it’s well worth it. Will I play again? I don’t know - I’d love to do a multiplayer game with friends or try the Dark Urge story if I can get my character to look like Taylor Swift. Still, the hype is totally valid for this one.

[quarantinehomies]

Zeltzin: S.O.S

I sat frozen in the middle of my math lecture hall, staring at the message on my phone. What I see before me is a positive COVID test from my friend, John. Beside me sat Lily, and we were right in the middle of the lecture hall as we saw the positive COVID test on our phones. I immediately tuned out the sound coming from my professor as I turn to Lily. I remember her turning to me asking if we should leave because we spent time with John prior to our lecture and we ended up leaving our lecture sooner than later since the lecture ended in five minutes. We rushed back to Merrill, which was a whole journey from science hill. As we were completely out of breath, I had a bad feeling that there was something wrong with me. Once we were at the top of the hill, I felt like I couldn't breathe at all usually, I’m out of breath but not like this. I’d also like to mention that I’ve had COVID before, but I didn't feel as horrible as I did at the moment.

We meet John outside on the Merrill plaza and we all test again on a bench. I unpacked the COVID test and held my breath as I swabbed the inside of the nose, my nose ring getting caught with each swab. I dreaded this process and only found the part about dipping the drops into the test. Three drops in and immediately my COVID test showed two lines. I was so distraught over these results because I already got COVID in the past and I got my most recent booster months ago, which I know isn't a guarantee that I'm immune from COVID, but it still sucked to see. I remember thinking that this second time getting it won't be that bad because my body knew how to deal with it. However, I was so wrong. 

A temporary solution that I thought of was to quarantine in my room with John. I informed Valerie of my misfortune, and I told her to leave the room to stay with Richard and Lily in Merrill B. As John and I stayed in my room, I remember us just sitting on the floor, completely clueless about what to do in this situation. What was there to do? Could the timing be any worse? Was I going to fail my classes? I was spiraling. Until we got a call from Richard informing us he, too, had COVID. New plan. John and I transferred to Richard's room, and we had Lily and Valerie stay in my room. 

Now staying in Richards's room was an experience. Arriving there I took over his bed, and he was forced to stay in his roommate's bed, but I got priority since I was the one dying the most out of the two. The room was a double with beds that weren't lofted and I felt grateful because I did not want to waste a breath climbing up the ladder of a loft bed. I recall spending most of my time just coughing and trying to breathe as I rot in his bed. Time felt stagnant and life felt like we were in a Billie Eilish music video covering her album Happier Than Ever. I only left the bed when I needed to use the restroom and that alone exerted too much energy. I felt like a wilting flower petal. 

On a brighter note, we tried to make the most of it. We watched Netflix until dark and would always make commentary on the shows. I felt like we were movie critics and it became our full-time job. We watched a lot of Dahmer and that ended up giving me nightmares almost every night, but I found the show so enticing we were all so invested in finishing up the series. We also would try to include Lily and Val, who still lived in our room. Teleparties were a big hit, but we would all end up falling asleep during the hour-long movie, but we would make up for it with short and sweet FaceTime checking in on each other. All was at somewhat of an equilibrium until Valerie tested positive.

The next morning, we had a new roommate added to the room that was meant to be a double. We established Valerie would live in Richard's bed with me since that’s the only space the room could provide and she could join us in our endless Netflix binging. Now that the room was occupying four people, we had to feed four stomachs and the food variety wasn’t existent. The food they provided us was very plain, but that could be because of my loss of taste. I recall us using Grubhub as a resource sometimes, but I still couldn't taste my food, so it felt almost discouraging to eat. Just when I thought things couldn’t take a turn for the worst, Lily tested positive for COVID.

The next morning, we had a new roommate added to the room that was meant to be a Back to my original plan! Since we were all positive, we all migrated to me and Valerie’s room. This was somewhat of good timing since Richard's roommate wanted to move back into the room so he could have it all to himself now. I guess someone is a winner. I was feeling mixed about us all having COVID. I liked how we were all able to quarantine together, but also it wasn’t good fortune that we all were suffering from the virus. All the more, I enjoyed becoming reunited with my bed. Val reunited with her bed as well and as for everyone else, their new home was on the floor, which wasn’t anything new for John. Altogether we would have game nights and I would laugh until my stomach hurt. COVID didn't feel so bad when I was with all of them.

 As time passed, I was feeling better but Lily seemed to do worse since she just received COVID. Someone suggested we should go on a walk and so we all put our masks on and walked over to the East Field. The breeze was light and the sun hurt my eyes as I felt like I was a vampire being exposed to sunlight for the first time. I took pictures to capture these moments as I felt like it was a momentous occasion to finally be stepping foot outside. I did however feel a bit out of breath since that was the most active I have ever been. We all eventually headed back to our cave, isolated from society. 

The happy ending to my story was that I was starting to feel a lot better, and it was a week that had passed, so I decide to test myself again and, to my surprise, tested negative. I have never felt happier failing a test before. Valerie also tested negative that same day, and it felt like there was some light at the end of the tunnel. However, the rest who were still sick would test positive, and since we had immunity and they had nowhere else to go so they stayed in our room until they tested positive. Life remained the same until John finally tested negative. 

My family had invited me to attend a quinceanera for my neighbor and I was thrilled! It felt like this was a celebration of finally being free. I invited John and Valerie to go with me since they were negative and the next day we were off to celebrate a quinceanera but also our negative COVID tests. 

[thisislizheather]

December Dalliances 2022

Above Photo: Christmas Eve view, December 2022

You can find my favourite tweets of the month over here and here. (I also made a list of my very favourite Christmas tweets.)

I recapped my autumn list of things to do and made a new seasonal list of things I’d like to do this winter.

I compiled my favourite photos of 2022.

I finally wrote about my trip to Las Vegas from back in September.

I read and reviewed Dave Grohl’s memoir.

I went to the newly opened (and fantastic) Museum of Broadway, and I’ll write a bigger post about it this week.

I got a seasonal latte at Elevenses Cafe in Astoria and it was very cute, I’d go again.

I have fallen in love with The Body Shop’s new scent Wild Pine. I’m fearful that it may be a seasonal scent, so I’ve already stocked up.

I ate at Soothr and it was so, so good. Love a new thai place.

Above Photo: Paul at Soothr, NYC

Some things I watched this month:

The Santa Clauses (the new Tim Allen show): Ugh, it was terrible. Maybe I’m not the audience it’s supposed to be for, but still - just a stinkfest.

Jack Frost: I love Michael Keaton, but I just couldn’t get past the first half hour. It’s way too sad.

The Crown (seasons 3-5): Loved the season three Wales episode. The moon landing one was also perfect. It’s a great show, but extremely depressing if you’re binging it over a short period of time.

Pepsi, Where’s My Jet?: God, I hated it. Netflix has this annoying habit of making documentary series out of things that could easily be 40 minutes long and it is obnoxious as hell. You do not need to watch this. Read the Wikipedia page about it instead, you’ll save yourself so much wasted time.

I was looking up trivia for the movie Scrooged and learned that the childhood house in the movie is a real place in Queens! So obviously I walked over to see it in person. Insanity that it hasn’t changed after all of this time.

Above Photo: Frank Cross’ childhood home from Scrooged (1988) in Queens, New York

I won a lottery ticket to see A Christmas Carol on Broadway and… YIKES. I can’t describe how bad it was. First of all, IT WAS A ONE MAN SHOW. And I didn’t know that beforehand, so yes that’s my fault. But oh my god, it was agony.

Above Photo: A Christmas Carol on Broadway in New York, December 2022

Are we all aware of how garbage the brand Silani is? I tried it for the first time and lord was it bad. Never again. Spend the extra dollar and eat something edible.

I watched the final World Cup game with my parents and I’m glad France lost, give others a chance to win too, ya know?

Above Photo: World Cup final with my parents, December 2022

I will never be above latte art.

Above Photo: Latte art from San Remo’s in Etobicoke, Ontario

I went to Bell, Book & Candle for some Christmas themed drinks and it was great. Love a divey, but good bar.

Above Photo: With Irene at Bell, Book & Candle, NYC

Is it even Christmas if I don’t make Nutella stuffed chocolate chip cookies? I also made a few batches of Alison Roman’s amazing chocolate chunk shortbread cookies that were a big hit.

Above Photo: The Nutella stuffed chocolate chip cookies from Ambitious Kitchen

Obviously I went to my parent’s house for Christmas and it was exactly what I wanted & needed.

Above Photo: My nephews watching Jingle All The Way, December 2022

Above Photo: My mom’s Christmas window can’t be beat

Above Photo: Christmas Day, December 2022

Above Photo: Our Christmas tree

Above Photo: Snowfall before Christmas is everything to me

Went ice skating for the first time in twenty years and it was great. Think I’m gonna buy some skates and make this a yearly thing.

Above Photo: Ice skating at Celebration Square in Mississauga, Ontario

Jackbox and Nintendo Switch games remain the perfect family activity around the holidays.

Above Photo: The game Use Your Words on Nintendo Switch

Above Photo: The game Use Your Words on Nintendo Switch

My mom and I saw a wild fox in her backyard and it. was. incredible. It was just playing in the snow and I can’t believe we got to see him/her.

Winter skies might be the best skies.

Above Photo: December 2022

Above Photo: If only I could bottle this kind of blue and keep it in my pocket

I made the Christmas tree spinach and artichoke dip and it was a hit. It did not look pretty, but the flavours were great.

I also made a leftover turkey sandwich with STUFFING WAFFLES and it was so, so good. Again it photographed rough, but tasted incredible. I used this recipe to make the waffles. Definitely have to do this again.

The main reason to go to the Union Square Holiday Market? Duck confit poutine at Duck Season. It’s honestly a better poutine than some Canadian places.

Above Photo: Duck confit poutine at Duck Season in NYC

I fell absolutely in love with the newest Bob’s Burgers Christmas episode, The Plight Before Christmas.

Crate & Barrel continues to have the cutest fabric Christmas ornaments.

Above Photo: Harry Potter-looking cat ornament at Crate & Barrel

Above Photo: Fabric snowman ornament at Crate & Barrel

Trader Joe’s had Christmas wreaths this year, so I got one and it was perfect. It makes me feel so together to have a wreath on my door. I still have it up. I don’t want to say goodbye.

Above Photo: Christmas wreath from Trader Joe’s

I went to see Noah Baumbach talk about his new movie White Noise at a NYPL event and it was very all right. I wish he’d talked more about older movies of his that I’ve loved, but I guess it makes sense that he didn’t since he was promoting this one.

Above Photo: Noah Baumbach speaking at an NYPL event promoting White Noise, December 2022

The candy cane cold brew from Blank Street? Unparalleled.

One of my favourite things to do in December in New York is to walk around the city looking at the holiday lights and listen to that Darlene Love song on repeat.

Above Photo: The Rockefeller Christmas Tree, December 2022

Above Photo: Saks holiday lights, December 2022

Above Photo: Macy’s holiday decorations, December 2022

Above Photo: Holiday taxi display on Fifth Avenue, December 2022

I went to Essex Market to see their Gingerbread Village display, which was cute but I wish it was bigger. And since I was there, I took a look at the sandwich menu at Shopsin’s and holy christ I need to go back.

Above Photo: Gingerbread Village at Essex Market in NYC, December 2022

Nothing better than a Boxing Day puzzle.

Above Photo: Boxing Day, December 2022

Some things that I’m looking forward to this month: I’m going to get real dressed up and go see Moulin Rouge on Broadway with my friend Diana, I’m excited about seeing the Restaurant Week menus for this season, I’m going to start using this first-of-the-month checklist again, Classpass is doing a free monthly promotion right now so I’ll keep doing that until it starts charging again, and I really can’t wait to make this lasagna soup.

Above Photo: The Heathers 2022

If you have any interest in the other monthly roundups of 2022, they can be found here: November 2022, October 2022, September 2022, August 2022, July 2022, June 2022, May 2022, April 2022, March 2022, February 2022 & January 2022.

Above Photo: Baby Dog, December 2022

[cjsinkythoughts]

In Need of a Breath

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 4007

Warnings: !FATWS SPOILERS!, Cursing, Zemo, Feelings, Another PTSD Flashback

A/N: So…Part 4 is going to have a couple parts to it. Maybe even three. I didn’t even make it half way through the episode on this one, mainly because I really wanted to fit in the Reader’s backstory and I wanted her and Sam to have a heart-to-heart again. I’m suuuuper tired, so I probably won’t be posting the next part for another few hours (it’s 5 am right now and I haven’t slept), BUT it’s my day off work and I won’t be doing anything I planned because my grandmother had a stroke a couple days ago so plans have changed and I’m staying in to help her, meaning I’ll mostly be writing all day. 

This Part is kind of a mix between off-screen and shot-by-shots, but it’s mostly off screen/what’s going on inside Reader’s head.

I’m really excited about future parts and the characters that are being introduced! I will say that after these parts, I will be doing one shots of previous MCU movies with the Reader, due to the information that is being given about the Reader now. You kind of see more of how she was affected/how she affected the previous MCU movies and what she was doing during that time.

Like always, this hasn’t been beta’d, again it’s SUPER early in the morning, and I’m really tired, so please excuse any mistakes! I hope you guys enjoy this part! Stay tuned for more to come later today!

FATWS MASTERLIST

cjsinkythoughts MASTERLIST

!SPOILERS UNDER CUT!

“You know…I’m really starting to regret saying yes to this.” You huffed out, craning your neck and squinting your eyes against the sun as you stare at the facility in front of you, hating the skin-crawling feeling of being back.

“Would you relax? Whenever you’re nervous, I get nervous, and I don’t wanna be nervous about this.” Sam shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

“Do either of you have a better plan?” Bucky grumbled, crossing his arms.

Gnawing on your lips, you finally take the lead and breathe out, “alright. Let’s go then.” You could feel the hesitance from your - what were they? Partners? Coworkers? Teammates? - the fellas before they started after you.

There was a sick twist in your gut as you entered the building, going through the lobby and security.

You had been there.

You had been there when Zemo impersonated Bucky. You had been there when Zemo unleashed the Winter Soldier at the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre Building in Berlin. You had been there during the battle at the airport. You had been there when Zemo turned Tony and Steve against each other in Siberia. You had been there when Zemo tore the Avengers from the inside out. Your family. The only family you’d ever known.

But you’d always been good about pushing your personal feelings aside for the sake of the mission. It’s what you’d been born to do. All you ever knew.

“Hey. Doll. You hear me?”

“Hmm. What?” You looked up from the ground to look into those enchanting blue oceans Bucky had for eyes, staring worriedly down at you, eyebrows pinched and forehead creased.

“I’m going in alone.” You frowned, opening your mouth to argue, but he shook his head. “Sam already agreed-”

“I didn’t necessarily agree-”

“You’re an Avenger, sweetheart.” Bucky tilted his head, speaking softly, those eyes of his worried. Worried for you. It made your stomach flip. “And you were there in Siberia, and that almost makes it worse. Especially considering you went after him. Just…just let me do this, okay?”

You cracked your knuckles nervously as you thought. It was a terrible idea. But it was an idea. And it was all they had. “Okay.” You finally relented, shrugging as your hands hit your thighs and slid up to your hips. “But don’t do anything stupid.”

“Steve took all that with him.”

Knowing about their little inside joke, you scoffed. “Sure he did. Go before I change my mind.”

You watched him walk down the hallway, hands fidgeting with excess nerves. “I think you’re the only one he actually seeks approval from.”

“Good thing I’m so lenient then, huh?” You joked, turning to Sam with a strained smile. Your smile slipped at the curious expression on Sam’s face, his eyes darting to each of your features. “What?”

“Are you doing okay?”

You groaned, throwing your head back. You thought you got out of talking about your feelings back in Baltimore. “Oh my God, Sam-”

“I’m serious. You…you just don’t seem like yourself.”

You shook your head, looking down the hall to where Bucky disappeared before turning back to him. It was weird to have a self that people recognized. Your whole life you’d been searching for it and when you finally found it…everything went to shit. “Honestly, Sammy, the only time I’ve ever felt like myself was with the team. Zemo took that away from me and now we’re here, practically begging him for help.”

Sam hummed, leaning against the wall. “Have you thought of taking a break?”

“What?”

“A break.” At your bewildered look, he rolled his eyes. “Cher, this time last year most of us were dead. This time a few months ago you found out about Wanda. This time last week you were out looking for her. Maybe you should just stop and take a breather.”

Shoving your hands in your pocket and looking at the floor, you couldn’t help but snort at his advice. “I haven’t taken a breather since I was eighteen.”

He clicked his tongue. “That’s my point. FBI academy as soon as you graduated. SHIELD recruit by 21, undercover operations leader by 24? Slow down. You’re in your thirties. Next thing you know, you’re gonna be ninety something, lying on your deathbed, wishing you had stopped to smell the roses.”

“If I live to be ninety, shoot me.” He chuckled in amusement. “I’m so fucking serious, Sam. I will not be put in an old folks home to play Bingo and be pushed around in a wheelchair. It ain’t happening.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” There was that infectious smile, which you unconsciously grinned back at. “Y/N…I’m serious. You’ve been in and out of missions since you were a teenager. What’s the shortest undercover operation you’ve done?”

“I dunno.”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “Yeah you do.”

Licking your lips, you turned away and shrugged. “A couple months. Seven weeks and three days, to be precise. September to October in 2012.”

“And the longest?”

“August 2007 to May 2009. Twenty one months.” 

Letting out a puff of air through his nose, Sam pushed himself off the wall and caught your chin between his fingers to make you look at him. “That’s nearly two years under cover. And I’m sure you went right back under after-”

“I was sitting at a desk for four months doing paperwork on it.” You defended yourself.

He shook his head, brows knitting together, lips drawn down. “You say that as if four months is enough time.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Sammy. I’m out. I’ve been out since Ultron and Sokovia. I haven’t been under in almost a decade-”

“A decade half the world was dead for half of-”

“I wasn’t!”

“I never said you were.” Sam sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. You were always amazed at his ability to keep his emotions in check. To stay cool under pressure. Sometimes you forgot how experienced he was with dealing with other people’s trauma. It was no wonder why Steve thought he’d be good for Bucky. “Listen. All I’m saying is once this is done…don’t go diving back into searching for Wanda. Don’t go running to the kid every time he calls - and I know you’ve been doing that-”

“It’s just been homework and stuff-”

“Y/N.” You stopped, biting your lip at the stern look he gave you. “Go home. Order take out. Binge watch TV. Go for a jog through the park. Actually meet your neighbors. Go grocery shopping. Just…live. If only for a couple weeks. Don’t worry about anyone else. Don’t pick up the phone, don’t drop everything because someone needs you. You need you.”

“I-I…” You shook your head, looking at him, sincerely apologetic. “I can’t. I wish I could. But I can’t. I’ve never had one normal day in my life. I’ve never had someone to care for, never had someone to care for me. I can’t let people I’ve come to…I can’t let them think I don’t care. I don’t even know where I’d go.”

“Whaddya mean?”

You winced, not thrilled for his reaction to your next statement. “I, uh, I sold my apartment in D.C.”

He gaped at you in complete disbelief. “You got it in December!”

“I know, I know. I liked it. I really did, but…I dunno. Nomadic life has always suited me better. It’s what I grew up with.”

He took a breath, making you cringe again. You don’t think you’ve ever legitimately gotten on his nerves like this before. “Have you ever thought that, instead of going with the flow and jumping place to place, putting down roots might actually help?” He cut you off before you could say anything, holding up a finger to stop you from talking. “I can’t imagine going from foster home to foster home like you did. I can’t imagine not having a home for as long as you can remember. Louisiana’s my home. Always has, always will be. But I understand your life has been anything but stable. And maybe, just maybe, that’s why you need some stability.”

You clenched your jaw, crossing your arms. “The Avengers were my stability. Steve was my stability.”

“Because you loved him.”

“I’m not doing this with you again.” You turned to walk down to the lobby to wait for Bucky there, but Sam caught your arm.

“You were in love with him! It’s okay! You two were super close! No one would blame you! Why won’t you just admit it? I’m trying to understand! Why won’t you-”

You tugged your arm away, finally snapping at him. “Because he could never be mine, Wilson! Is that what you wanna hear?!” Sam took a step back at your exclamation. You closed your eyes, swallowing the lump in your throat and pushing down the tears. “He could preach all he wanted about moving forwards, Sammy, but we all knew he was stuck in the past. He visited the museum every Thursday because her interview showed in his exhibit on Thursdays. He carried around that broken compass because her picture was in it.” You looked back up at him sadly, shrugging. “And I get it; it’s hard to move past your first love. I get it because…that’s what he was to me.”

There was a silence that blanketed the hallway, before he spoke up hesitantly. “What about Bucky?”

“I thought - I thought I was projecting my feelings for Steve onto him because I knew Steve couldn’t ever…”

Sam raised an eyebrow. “You thought? What do you think now?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m still figuring that one out.”

“If you ever need to talk, I’ll be here.”

You chuckled, nodding slightly towards him. “Back atcha. Don’t think I haven’t noticed you not being yourself lately, either.”

“It’s…a tough topic.”

You nodded in understanding. “Just know that I’ll support every decision you make as long as you think it’s the right one. Because I trust you. Steve trusted you. It’s all we can do to try to do what’s right. That’s what makes you a good man, Sammy. He gave you that shield for a reason, and if you think what you did was right…I’ll stand by it.”

The two of you stared at each other for a moment, calming down in each other’s presences and taking comfort knowing you’d be there for each other through thick and thin. “Thank you, cher.”

“Of course, Sammy. Now let’s go see what’s taking the old grump so long.”

He laughed at that, nodding in agreement, taking your offered hand and squeezing it as you made your way down the hall.

****************

“What?”

Bucky eyed you as you spluttered, coughing on the water you were drinking. “Please don’t choke, doll.”

“Break him out of jail?!” You repeated his words and blinked at him, absolutely baffled by his plan. “Oh my God.” You groaned as Bucky and Sam started arguing, moving your flashlight around the room. “Where the hell are we?” There was no response as they kept going back and forth.

“Zemo’s gonna mess with our minds! Especially yours! No offense.”

“Heelllloooo!” You tried again. “Where the hell are we?!”

Bucky turned on the lights, giving Sam a look. “Offense.” Glancing at you he quirked an eyebrow. “Stop worrying your pretty lil’ head, sweetheart. You trust me, dontcha?” Your breath hitched at his words. You quickly recovered, huffing and pouting - although you’d deny ever pouting - and crossing your arms. You stood between the guys like that, eyes darting to whoever was speaking, waiting for them to stop so you could actually think.

“Look. Let me just walk you through a hypothetical. Can I walk you through a hypothetical?”

You and Sam exchanged glances. “What did you do?”

“I…didn’t do…anything.” Bucky shrugged.

“How is it that you, one of the most deadliest assassins basically ever, are one of the worst liars I know.” You tilted your head at him, an eyebrow quirking up in confusion.

“Shush it you. Just, okay. The weakest point in any system isn’t the software, the hardware, it’s the meatware. The human element.”

The more you listened to Bucky’s “hypothetical”, the stronger the gut feeling telling you this was a terrible terrible idea got. You brought your hands up to your head, eyes wide as he spoke.

“I don’t like how casual you’re bein’ about this. This is unnatural.”

You couldn’t help but agree with Sam’s words, your head falling back and your eyes closing. “Sweet Jesus. Listen, God, I know we don’t talk much these days, but please, please don’t let this not be a hypothetical. I’m fucking begging you.”

A noise to your right made your head snap over. “Oh hell to the fucking no!” You shook your head as Zemo himself walked in, wearing a prison guards uniform. “Uh-uh! No way! Bucky, this was not part of the plan!”

“What did you do?!”

“We need him!”

“You’re going back to prison.”

“If I may-”

All three of you faced him, simultaneously shouting, “no!”

You held your face in your hands as your head dropped, shaking back and forth, your eyes squeezing shut, tuning them out for just a minute to think. Bucky had a point. The enemy of my enemy is my friend and all that, and the Avengers were technically disbanded, which was Zemo’s whole objective in the first place, but…God. You were good at compartmentalizing, but not that much. You were willing to put your feelings aside for the mission so Bucky could talk to him. Not for you to work with him. But he had connections, you knew he did, and he had information…

“Doll?” You looked up, Bucky anxiously licking his lips as he met your gaze. “I need you to say something.”

You looked to Sam, who shrugged, gesturing to Zemo. “What do you think?”

What did you think? What did you think?! You thought that it was the worst idea in the history of ideas and you should turn back and find another way! But…you knew this was the fastest, probably most reliable way to get information that you needed.

Dammit, since when were you the deciding factor?

You sucked in a breath, looking over Sam’s shoulder at Zemo, who lifted his hand in greeting. You raised your eyes to the ceiling, pointing your finger accusingly. “This is why we stopped talking.” Gaze dropping to the still waiting fellas, you gnawed on your lip, before hissing out, “ffffine…” Running a hand through your hair, you threw your hands up as you shrugged. “Fine. Okay. Fine.”

“Okay.” Sam nodded, taking charge again.

You couldn’t believe this was happening. Except, that was a lie. You could. You’d seen weirder. You’d experienced the impossible. Lived through the unbelievable. This…this was completely imaginable.

Which is why, with a lot of hesitation and very little confidence in this plan, you followed Zemo through the auto shop you were in until you reached a large room with a ton of different old cars.

Bucky’s hand found yours as Zemo explained what the plan was, rather vaguely, in your opinion, but at least he was explaining. Point for him. Not that it would make up for the level of distrust you held for him, but it was something.

You looked up at him, giving him a puzzling frown. He usually only grabbed your hand in front of other people when he was feeling anxious. Which, yeah, he had a right to be anxious right now, but it wasn’t the right kind. The type of anxiety caused by large crowds and loud noises, ones that startled him and threw him into a defensive mode.

But the look on his face made you squeeze his hand in reassurance. He was pouting, staring at you although he did something wrong - a puppy that tore up a pillow - and all you wanted to do was give him a hug.

“You’re mad at me.” He mumbled as the four of you headed out with Zemo in the lead.

“No I’m not.”

“Yeah you are. 

“Bucky, I’m not mad.”

“Listen, if I had a better idea I wouldn’t-”

You brought your linked hands up to your lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his gloved knuckles. “I’m not mad.” You repeated more firmly. “It’s just…a lot for me, right now.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on, Buck, I-I just…” You thought about your and Sam’s earlier conversation and suddenly understood what he meant. “I need to breathe for a second.”

His features twisted into ones of uncertainty, eyes squinting as you stepped outside. “Do you…do you wanna leave?”

You shook your head, tugging his arm to stop him and grabbing the sunglasses on his collar, slipping them over his eyes. “No. I just need some time to think. Hopefully the plane ride to wherever the hell we’re going will give me that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, James. I’m sure.”

He lowered the glasses on his nose to scan you over the frames, before nodding and sliding them back up. “Okay. You ready for this, then?”

“No.” You breathed, turning back to where Zemo and Sam were still walking. “Let’s do this.”

*****************

Climbing onto the private jet, you raised an eyebrow at Sam, who shrugged, giving you a bemused expression. A Baron…huh…who knew? You feel like you should’ve, yet there you were.

You sat besides Bucky, across from Zemo, crossing your legs and leaning back while staring at him through narrowed eyes.

His butler seemed nice, which made you even more suspicious. You obviously didn’t know as much about Zemo as you wanted to. It was a habit you picked up after years of undercover work; once the mission was complete, that was that. There was no looking back on it. No sitting on it. It was over and you moved onto the next one. It was a bad habit in cases like this.

The moment you spotted the notebook over Zemo’s book you knew something was going to happen, yet you still flinched when Bucky lunged at him, grabbing his throat. You leaned back in your seat again, steadying your now racing heartbeat. You decided you were too tense, trying to relax your muscles as Bucky sat back down in his seat.

“I’ve seen that book. It was Steve’s when he came out of the ice. I told him about Trouble Man. He wrote it in that book.” Sam seemed so proud of himself that something he recommended was written in Steve’s little book and it made you smile.

You remembered that; Steve and you were supposed to meet up for coffee after his run, but Fury called him in so you rescheduled it for when he got back. He asked you about Marvin Gaye. For your opinion. You told him to check it out and make his own.

You remembered asking him about that little notebook of his, and he just shrugged you off telling you about his list. He would read items off to you, but he never let you read the book yourself. You never found out why, and you supposed you never would now. The thought made an ache behind your ribs that you’d come to familiarize yourself with appear.

You smiled a little more as Zemo and Sam told Bucky how awesome Marvin Gaye was. “C’mon, baby. Back me up.”

Chuckling, you looked at Bucky. “They’re not wrong. But,” you quickly added before Bucky could whine at you, facing Sam again. “Neither is Buck. I mean, c’mon. You can’t find music like the 40’s anymore. Ella Fitzgerald, Louis Armstrong, Benny Goodman, Fred Astaire. Ol’ Blue Eyes himself.”

“Thank you.” Bucky grinned at Sam, who rolled his eyes.

“Okay, okay. But, I mean, c’mon! Everybody loves Marvin Gaye.”

“I like Marvin Gaye.”

“Steve adored Marvin Gaye.”

Your face fell as Zemo started talking about Steve and icons and Red Skull, your mind once again slipping away from reality.

~

“Kids love you.” You giggled as you finally made it out of his exhibit. You’d wanted to show it to him since he moved to D.C., and you’d finally got an opportunity after coming back from being undercover for ten weeks. “You’re their hero, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’m just trying to do what’s right.”

You nudged him, scoffing at his answer. “You’re too humble. You’re a national icon, you know.”

Steve shrugged, looking around the museum at the planes surrounding them. “I never wanted to be.”

“Why not? Everyone loves you.”

“I’m sure not everyone loves me.” He rolled his eyes. “And…I just wanted to help. To fight. Protect my country and the people I cared about. I-I didn’t ask for…all that.” He waved behind his shoulder where his exhibit was getting smaller with each step they took away. “People were dying. Bullies were winning.”

You shook your head, spinning and walking backwards besides him to face him. “Sure, but you did that. And you became someone people could look up to in the process.”

He narrowed his eyes at you before asking, “why do you do what you do?”

“...because I’m good at it?”

“Honey.” He gave you a look. “Answer the question.”

You hummed in thought. “Because I couldn’t stand by, knowing there would be orphaned kids if I didn’t help any way I could.”

“Alright. Why do you do it in the dark?”

“Whaddya mean?”

He shrugged. “Why don’t you come out and take credit for all the lives you’ve saved?”

“Because that’s not why I do it. I don’t want that attention. I just want to know I’ve helped people. I’ve kept them safe.”

He gave you a soft smile. “I just wanted to beat the bully. I never wanted to be a dancing monkey, too.” You looked at him in a new light then, understanding where he was coming from. “Watch out, honey!” He grabbed you and pulled you aside before you could crash into a wall, arms wrapped firmly around your waist. He gave you that charming smile of his. “Wouldn’t want you hurting that pretty lil’ head of yours, now would we?”

~

“Y/N!”

You snapped back into the conversation, moving your eyes from the window to Bucky, who tilted his head, eyebrows pinched and eyes narrowed. “Sorry. So, Madripoor. That’s a fun place.”

You ignored the side eyed glances Bucky and Sam exchanged, Sam turning to you curiously. “You’ve been?”

“Once. Back in 2010 for a few months”

Zemo raised his eyebrows. “You’re lucky to have gotten out.”

You shrugged nonchalantly. “Lucky, maybe. Skills were a part of it, too, though.”

“Good.” Zemo nodded. “Because we’re going undercover…and if we blow it. We’re dead.”

You breathed out, shaking your memory away and getting your head back into the game. Because like the man you were severely wary of in front of you said, if you blew this, you were dead. And, sure, you didn’t want to live until ninety, but you weren’t even half way there yet. So dammit if you were going to die soon.

“Hey.” You looked over at Bucky’s murmur, his head tilting as he grabbed your hand and pulled you from your seat closer to him. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m fine. Are you okay? You know you’re going to have to be-”

“I know.” He nodded. You watched his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallowed thickly. “I’ll be fine. Just…tell me right now if you need to step out for this one.”

You gave him a smile that you knew he didn’t buy, just by the slight narrowing of his eye, his lips pressing together. “No. No, I’m good for this. If you think I’m gonna let you two idiots go into Madripoor with him - alone - oil that cyborg brain of yours, because there’s no way.”

He squeezed your hand, eyes still filled with uncertainty. “Are you sure?”

“If there’s even a slight possibility that I can protect you, then yeah. I’m sure, Buckaroo.”

[bumbleklee]

Hi! I love your work and I’ve been binging it for a while! <3 I was wondering if I could have some angst and a broken heart since it seems I like to suffer. ;’) Can I have headcannon with an insecure adventurer reader who’s in a relationship with one of the Mondstadt boys (or just the dark night because I’m down bad since he didn’t come home). They are insecure because while they are a great adventurer, ever since the traveler came, they’ve been living in the traveler’s shadow with everyone, even possibly the readers lover, praising the traveler. The reader takes on increasingly difficult missions, even putting their life on the line since they feel as though they have to prove themselves. In an attempt to stop the reader, the Mondstadt boys tell the reader that they aren’t the traveler, but instead of the good intent behind it, the reader takes it as if their lover prefers the traveler and decides to try and give up adventuring since they realized that not once did their lover go on an adventure with them, but they did with the Traveler. This was long, I’m sorry, but feel free to reject it! Stay safe and healthy!

hey!!! a few little notes: i ended up going with just diluc and instead of hcs, i wrote a little one-shot. i hope you enjoy it and i hope i nailed your idea lol <3 enjoy! (requests are open)  also: u will pull diluc!!! and thank u for ur support :3

before reading: 1.8k words, little mentions of blood but nothing graphic, kinda angsty w feelings of despair (tw?? idk), under cut for length

The first time you realized you had fallen into Lumine’s shadow is when your weekly commissions are given to her. Jean didn’t give you much explanation when she sent you home for the day but you could only assume it’s because Lumine could do them better

The second time is when you were absent for a weekend to clear out Hiluchurls from Wolvendome and when you returned back to Mondstadt to share the news, everyone was preoccupied helping Lumine find her brother.

The third time is when, despite your tireless efforts to protect your hometown this year, Lumine was chosen as the Windblume Star.

You had gone from the Knights of Favonius' greatest knight to a mere shadow. Your accomplishments and achievements felt like nothing when compared to Lumine’s and you became desperate to be known again. You watched your teammates pick Lumine over you, choosing to accompany her on adventures, and your friends constantly chatting about how amazing she was.

And, well, she was.

Lumine was beautiful. She was delicate and soft and fought gracefully, while you often came home covered in dirt or blood. And she was kind - so, so kind. She offered her hand to you on multiple occasions, never once seeing you as the threat you saw her as. And beyond her looks, Lumine was passionate and strong and everything you were not. She had everything you had and more except for one thing.

Diluc.

But when you saw Lumine sitting at the bar in the tavern, sharing a daring story with your boyfriend, you became doubtful.

From your seat on the second level of the tavern, you had a perfect view of the pair. Diluc looked happy - perhaps even happier than with you - and your heart broke. Would Lumine be the end of an era between you and Diluc? You loved Diluc to death and all you wanted was for him to be happy.

The truth was, you were running out of patience, running out of fake enthusiasm and fake laughs and fake smiles when Diluc bragged to you about what Lumine did that day. The constant praises and compliments towards a woman who wasn’t even in the room tore you apart bit-by-bit. You were finding it harder to get through each day as Diluc slipped through your fingers.

When you finally broke your silence, you talked to Kaeya.

It was an accidental breakdown - Kaeya had made a cheeky comment about how his brother was spending an awfully lot of time with the traveler and you just broke down. Realizing the severity of the situation, Kaeya pulled you into his office and closed the door. He let you sit at his desk until you calmed down.

“What’s going on?”

So, you told him. You finally let out the bottled up despair and, frankly, jealousy you had been holding in for the past few weeks. You told Kaeya about how you went from ‘hero to zero’ and how you didn’t even deserve to be a knight anymore.

“If I’m not a knight, I don’t have a purpose,” You said solemnly. “I haven’t picked up my sword in a month, Kaeya.”

Kaeya makes a noise of acknowledgement and urges you to continue.

“And I can’t stand how she’s better than me! I’m the Revolutionary Knight - not her!” Despite your angered words, you’re suppressing panic deep in your chest. “She’s already taken so much from me and she’s going to take Diluc.”

“Diluc loves you,” Kaeya reassures you. You’ve never heard his voice this soft and serious before. “Nothing Lumine can do is going to make Diluc ever stop loving you.”

Deep down, you knew that. You knew that Diluc loved you and planned to marry you one day, you knew that. It was just hard to convince your heart of that. As you stared down at the floor, you heard Kaeya sigh.

“Maybe you just need to show him you’re just as good at Lumine.”

That night, you packed a bag before Diluc got home from the tavern and left for Liyue. You would fight the Cryo Regisvine and bring back Diluc a hoarfrost core. He would see your heroic nature and forget all about Lumine - they all would.

***

When Diluc came home that night to find your absence, he began to worry. You were never one to leave without saying anything so Diluc rushed to the Knight’s Headquarters quickly. He was fortunate that Jean and Kaeya were still there finalizing some paperwork.

“Master Diluc?” Jean asked, rising from her desk as Diluc rushed inside her office. “Is everything alright?”

“Y/N is missing,” He said quickly.

“Missing? Are you sure?”

“Yes! They never go anywhere without telling me,” Diluc continued. He noticed Kaeya avert his gaze and snapped his eyes over to his brother, “Kaeya, what do you know?”

“I may have told them to do something heroic to win you back,” Kaeya said, realizing his idea may not have been the best.

Diluc’s eyes widened, “Win me back?”

Kaeya sighed and explained what was going on with you. Diluc’s heart dropped into his stomach and he couldn’t believe how stupid he had been. He should have been praising you, not Lumine. “They mentioned something about the Cryo Regisvine-”

Diluc didn’t let Kaeya speak another word before he took off. You couldn’t have gotten that far and when Diluc noticed the darkening weather, his feet picked up their pace.

***

A fierce gust of wind made you cover your face with your arms. Out of nowhere, it started pouring rain but you wouldn’t let that stop you. You pushed through the impending storm and made your way down into the cave where the ice monster lived. You gripped your sword tightly as the monster sensed your presence and unraveled, turning the downcoming rain into shards of ice that landed on your skin like needles.

Without much delay, you charged the Cryo Regisvine and landed three hits on its corolla before one of its leafy arms wacked into you, sending you hurdling backwards. Your sword was knocked out of your hand and you struggled to catch your breath.

More sharp icicles pierced your skin and a spray of freezing air coated your skin. Yet, you still managed to grab your sword and stand. Your hobbled toward the monster again and when the same leafy arm came towards you, you slashed at it.

The monster let out a screech and retracted itself before slamming it’s head down towards your body. You dodged the first hit but were caught off guard when the second hit knocked you off your feet. You barely had time to roll away when it slammed it’s head down a third time.

“Y/N!”

Diluc surged forwards, grabbing your arm and forcefully pulling you to your feet. Your sword became lost from your hold and the sudden movement caused the blade to scrape down your leg before clambering to the ground again. A nasty gash was left and you seethed.

He couldn’t even think as he pulled you away from the monster. You had never seen Diluc move so fast. He didn’t let you go until you were both far enough from the cave to feel secure. Diluc’s arms wrapped around your shoulders tightly and you were too stunned to say anything.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Your mind felt foggy. You tried to open your mouth and speak but no words came out.

“Do you realize how dangerous that was?”

“I just...Lumine…”

Diluc pulled back at this and stared in your eyes. You couldn’t quite match the emotion on his face. “You’re not Lumine!”

His words cut deep and you felt tears soak your eyes. Maybe if your head was clearer and you could actually hear your thoughts, you would have realized Diluc didn’t mean it that way. But the only thing consuming your mind was that he was right. You weren’t Lumine and you would never be Lumine. “I know!” You cried out suddenly, “That’s why I have to go and kill that thing! So I can give you a hoarfrost core and you’ll love me again!”

Diluc only looked at you. His hands ran down from your shoulders to your hands and he brought your left hand to his lips. You heard him sigh before kissing your knuckle gently.

Your wet hair was dripping water down your face in freezing cold droplets. At that moment you felt useless. You weren’t able to fight the Cryo Regisvine and bring Diluc a hoarfrost core. He would leave you for Lumine and there was nothing you could do about it.

“You’re hurt,” Diluc said, motioning to your leg. In your desolate state, you had forgotten about the gaping wound on your leg that was pouring blood. “Come on - we’re going home.”

You were too upset to protest and let Diluc maneuver your body onto his back. You loosely wrapped your arms around his neck and relished in the warmth his vision released. You held onto Diluc like it was the last time you ever would.

The walk back to Mondstadt was silent and when you two arrived at your shared house, Diluc let you down on the couch. You could only stare at your lap.

“I’m sorry,” You finally mumbled, “Next time I’ll finish what I started.”

“There won’t be a next time,” Diluc said sternly, “No way you’re ever going there alone again.”

Your face stiffened into annoyance. “I’m the Revolutionary Knight - I can do it.”

“No, you can’t.” His words seemed cold and unusual but they were coated in concern. Diluc reached up and cupped your face with his large hands. You tried to pull away but his grip was firm, “It’s okay.”

The situation was suddenly overwhelming and far too much to deal with. The tears you had been holding back tumbled down your cheeks and your words were choked between sobs, “Lumine is so perfect and I’m not...I don’t want you to leave me...I know I’m not good enough but-”

He stopped your rambling with a kiss. “Don’t ever think you’re not good enough,” He whispered, taking you into his arms. You hid your sobs in Diluc’s chest as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. Eventually, your cries settled.

Diluc spent the rest of the night dressing your wound and laying with you in your bed. He didn’t stop comforting you until every horrible thought about yourself was gone from your mind. In the morning he would talk to you more but for now, his job was to make you feel strong again.

And it would take a while but one day you would come to realize that you were just as good as Lumine and no one could truly compare to you. Like the storm on that horrifying night, this too would pass.

[the-writer-ofthe-fandoms]

Emergency Visits (Bucky Barnes)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Words: 4.5k+

Warning(s): SMUT! Oral (Reader recieving), fingering, penetration, fluff!!! (Cringe warning too)

A/N: HONESTLY, idk why i had the courage to write smut but I did. THE ORIGINAL ONE-SHOT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE SMUT LMFAO also yall know I am a sucker for crossovers SOOO the timelime for TFATWS is off in this because Frank Castle is in here and I wrote most of this before episode 5 <3 

Summary: Bucky, Sam, and Zemo need a place to lay low in while in the States and you're their most trusted person they know. What was not predicted was your vigilante friend needing medical help that same night. 

--------------------------------------------

You were a former Avenger. You were highly trained in combat but your purpose was to help any wounded comrade or citizen when you and the team were called in. The fighting days were pretty much over for you after the last battle with Thanos. You still used your medical knowledge to work at the different hospitals in New York City and helped Matt Murdock or Frank Castle with any wounds. Rarely you'd help with some vigilante work, but you rather sit out and keep to a less violent life.

You were mindless watching whatever Netflix suggested to you on a breezy night in your humble apartment in New York. It has been a rather boring few nights for you compared to more hectic ones, given your vigilante friends weren't getting as hurt as usual and didn't need discreet medical care.

Your cellphone ringing next to you snapped your attention away from your binging of a John Mulaney  stand up show (good choice Netflix). You looked at the caller idea and swore your heart fluttered ever so slightly.

James Buchanan Barnes was calling.

You had spent many months in Wakanda with him as Shuri worked tirelessly to get rid of Hydras grasp on his mind. Your main focus was learning new information on medicine but you always made sure to visit Bucky. You both got pretty close... Light touches, lingering hugs, and often staring at each other when the other wasn't looking became a commonality. It was obvious feelings of love were blossoming for you, but you weren't fully sure if he felt the same.

After the battle you both stayed in contact, but he decided to reside in D.C. while you laid roots back in the familiarity of New York. You both made sure to visit each when possible, but it had been about a month and a half since you last saw him.

"Hey, Buck." You smiled, answering his call. "It's been a few days, usually you make sure to call every other night. Are you okay?"

"I..." You heard him sigh, making you sit up straight.  "I need a favor, doll."

"Of course, you know I would do practically anything for you."

"That applies to me too right?" You heard Sam in the background, making you chuckle.

"Yes, it does Sam. How are you?"

"I've been better, these past few days have been rough but I'll let Stare-a-tron explain it to you." You heard a wack and an 'ow' come from Sam.

"So..." Bucky started but didn't continue.

"So...?"

"So, have you paid any attention to the news regarding Munich?"

"I have now connected the dots."

"What?"

"You broke a certain terrorist out of jail didn't you, James." You groan. When you saw the news about Zemo you couldn't possibly connect it to Buck and Sam, but with this call and a need of a favor instantly made you realize.

"Technically, (Y/N), he broke himself out."

"Do I need to slap some sense into you? He killed King  T'Chaka. He broke up the Avengers--"

"I know, I know." You heard him sigh. You listened in closer and heard some background traffic noise that sounded like the streets of New York. "Listen, we need a place to lay low for a bit in the States and your the only person I can one-hundred percent trust. I can't tell you more on the phone but please-"

"Yes, yes of course Buck. You guys, well minus Zemo, are welcomed here for whatever reason. Do you need me to text you the address?"

"Nah, we are actually about to enter your apartment building."

"Well hurry up so we can decide on take out." You chuckled and hung up the phone. You only had to wait a few minutes before you heard knocking at your door. Wasting no time you opened the door as fast as you can and practically tackle Bucky into a hug.

He chuckled gently, "I missed you too, doll."

You released him from your hold and grinned as Sam. "Come here Sam, I haven't seen you in a few months." You pulled him into a less dramatic but friendly hug.

"Good to see you too, (Y/N)." Sam and Buck made their way into the apartment leaving you faced to face with Zemo.

"Hello." You greeted, offering a differential handshake.

"Hello, (Y/N). I hope all is well." He accepted the short handshake and gave an equally differential smile before entering your apartment.

"Welcome to my humble abode, make yourselves at home here. I have two bedrooms so we better discuss sleeping arrangements-"

"Easy, I call dibs bunking with you while Wings and Zemo stay in your spare room." Bucky interrupted.

"Hold up, why can't you stay with creepy-magee? I'm sure you two would love to stare at each other." Sam argued.

"Because I called dibs, isn't that right Doll?"

"He did call dibs, Sam." You shrugged and laugh at his look of betrayal.

You heard Zemo start to speak but Sam beat him to it, "You don't get an opinion." Zemo simply put his hands up and surrendered while the other two kept arguing about the concept of dibs.

"Anyways I'll order some Chinese food and we can discuss why you three are here over dinner."

--------

Your mind was blown.

Bucky and Sam filled you in on Isaiah, the return of super soldiers, why they needed Zemo, and the issues they had with the New Captain America. You also almost chastised Bucky for missing his mandated therapy session but decided to keep eating your food and let him continue.

"Wow, that is fucking nuts. Super soldiers, huh?" You sigh. As much as you didn't want to, you had a feeling they would need your help with fighting. After all you fought along with the original Captain America, so you picked up ways to fight super soldiers.

"Yeah, after Madripoor we need to lay low. Hopefully no one spotted us." Sam said, starting to pick up his dishes. Everyone seemed to follow suit and you were about to speak again when you heard knocking at your door.

"Hey, can you take these  for me? I'll go answer the door." You slid your stuff towards Buck who looked at you worried.

"Do you want one of us to answer the door with you?"

"Nah I should be fine, it's probably Mrs. Espinoza looking for her sons cat." You waved him off, making your way to the door. You unlock your locks and crack open the door.

There stood Frank fucking Castle, covered in an obscene amount of blood while using  the wall for support.

"Hey..." He greeted with a hoarse voice and a weak attempt of a smile.

"Holy shit, Frank." You said barely above a whisper. "Fuck, can one you guys come here?!" You shouted, opening the door wider while taking one his arms over your shoulder.

"What the hell, (Y/N)?" Bucky looked at you and the blood soaked Punisher with bewilderment.

"I'll explain in a bit! Just help me take him to the couch. Sam go get my medical bag, it's in my closet in the room on the left! Zemo clear everyones stuff from the couch." You barked out orders while you and James carefully led Frank to the couch. When Zemo cleared it off and Sam came running out with your bag, you both laid him down on the couch.

With no hesitation you quickly wash your hands and prepare your equipment.

"Are you going to tell us what the hell is happening right now, (Y/N)?" Buck asked.

"I am also wondering why we have a beaten guy on your couch." Sam's face was full of worry.

You sigh and begin removing Franks clothes to look for any life threatening wounds. "This is the Punisher. If you haven't kept up with the more lower level news he is one of the vigilantes."

"That doesn't explain why he is here."

"I... I am friends with him and Daredevil. I patch them up so they can avoid the hospital." You see a bullet wound on his side, it was bad but it was manageable with an exit wound. "One of you hold him up so I can stitch his back."

Bucky immediately joined your side, using his enhanced strength to hold up Frank.

"You gonna introduce me to your friends here, (Y/N)?" Frank rasped. "I gotta know whose cold ass hand is touchin' me."

"I'll introduce you to them later, let me get you stable."

-----

After what felt like hours, you finished dressing a gash on his thigh. You peel of your bloodied gloves and get up from kneeling on the floor. You helped sit Frank up so he can get a good look at whose here.

"Frank, this is Sam Wilson and James Barnes. I worked and fought with them as an Avenger." You gesture to the two. You saw him eyeing Buck before giving you a knowing look. You both were friends after all, he knew of your feelings towards Bucky.

"Who's the guy in the pimp coat?" He grunted and gestured towards Zemo, who rolled his eyes.

"Baron Zemo. Escapee prisoner."

"Zemo? As in the guy who bombed the UN? Do you need me to-"

"No Frank, they need him alive." You chuckled.

"Well, it's good to put faces to names. Especially yours, James." Frank spoke, nudging you. "I'll get my spare clothes and rinse off the blood now, something tells me the guest room will be taken." You were going to protest but knew Frank was too stubborn to listen. The four of you watched him make his way to the guest room before closing the door.

"Oh so he knows about us but we don't know about him?" Sam arched a brow at you. Bucky stayed silent, clenching both his fists.

You sigh, "I am sorry for not telling you guys. I didn't keep my involvement with vigilantes away from you both on purpose, I promise."

"Can we trust the Punisher? Will everything be safe with all of us here?"

"You don't have to worry about me talking." Frank came out of the room in new clothes, using a damp towel to wipe his face. "(Y/N)'s stuck her neck out for me countless times. I owe it to her."

"If (Y/N) trusts you then we trust you."

"As much as I want to stay up, I think it is best we get some sleep. Tomorrow we can talk more." You stretch and yawn and everyone seemed to agree. Castle put a pillow on the couch and grabbed a spare blanket you had lying around.

"C'mon man you can have the bed. You look like you got the shit beaten out of you." Sam said.

"Nah it's fine. I'm a light sleeper. I can stay out here in case he," Castle pointed to Zemo, "tries somethin'."

"C'mon Buck, your rooming with me." You smile and grab his non-vibranium hand.

"I don't want to share a room with Zemo." Falcon groaned

"Bucky did call dibs after all."

You said goodnight to Sam, and gave Frank a quick hug goodnight before you and James went into your bedroom, a duffel bag in his hand.

James was feeling jealous. He didn't want to admit it but watching how friendly you were with Frank Castle made his feelings worse.  He could pick up the familiarity between the two of you and how easy you were able to talked to him. Frank was someone in your life Bucky didn't know existed.  How close were you to the Punisher?

Thoughts of you and Frank entered his head but he quickly tried to dismiss them. It made his chest ache just thinking about you and another man. Yeah, Buck was smitten with you. But the feelings of self-doubt and guilt always made it hard for him to confess. With the addition of Frank? Made it almost impossible.

"You can use the bathroom to change while I cahnge out here." Your voice snaps him out of his thoughts. He nodded silently, clenching his jaw, while entering the bathroom.

Your stare lingered at the door before you quickly put on a different set of comfortable clothes, discarding your previous clothes to the floor. You picked up on his sudden quietness and you hoped he wasnt truly mad at you. With a quiet sigh you slid under the blankets of your bed and waited for Bucky so you could get to bed. You and Bucky have shared the floor and bed before, and you were able to keep it together.

But after everything that has happened, after finally seeing him after almost two months, it made you feel nervous. You weren't sure if it was exhaustion or stress, but your feelings for Bucky suddenly felt overwhelming.

If that wasn't enough, you felt like your face was burning when he stepped out from the bathroom, wearing just his boxers and dogtags.

"I, uh, hope you don't mind. I found sleeping without a shirt easier to deal with nightmares. Helps cool me off."

"No, no. Don't worry at all Buck." You smile but it felt like your heart was going to leap out of your chest. He smiled briefly before he turned out the lights, joining you in bed. You both laid on your sides, back facing back. You shut your eyes and try to focus on sleeping, but the image of shirtless, only in boxers James flooded your thoughts.

"Doll?" James voice cut through the silence.

"Y-yes, Buck?"

"Who... Who is Frank  to you?" He asked in a low, dejected tone. Your eyes snap open. What kind of question was that from him?

"What do you mean?" You roll to face him but his back was still towards you.

"Are you and Frank..." He paused, "just ignore it, nevermind."

"Bucky, face me." He didn't  respond. "Please, James." You heard him sigh but he complied, turning to face you. The subtle light from your window made it easier to see his handsome face in the dark. You gulped, trying to muster an ounce of courage to tell him these feelings you've held for him for years.

"Frank and I are strictly friends. Before he became the Punisher he had a wife and two kids who he loved dearly. They-they were killed in front of him. He loved his wife dearly and I don't think he is looking to start dating anytime soon." You sigh and things go silent for a moment.

You rested a hand on his cheek and scooch closer. "James, I... I really enjoy spending time with you. I enjoy your presence. After all that we have been through,  with getting the code words out your head to losing Steve... I want to be by your side no matter what." You felt tears prick your eyes.

"I feel the same way about you doll." James spoke, just above a whisper. "You help ground me and honestly you help keep me sane." His hand found its way above yours that was cupping his cheek. Gently he moved your hand to his lips. He placed a soft kiss to your knuckles before moving it over his heart. "I've felt this for a while and I never had much courage to say it before but... I love you, (Y/N)."

"I love you too, James." You smile, a few happy tears managed to escape your eyes.

"C'mere." He helped move you close to him, pulling you into a deep hug. The chill of his vibranium arm caused goosebumps but the warmth of his other arm gave you comfort.

You wrap your arms around his bare torso and snuggled your face into his neck. God he smelt good. With a little courage coursing through you, you gave him a small kiss on the neck before giving him a little love bite, nothing that would bruise.

Bucky chuckled moving a part from you, just enough to get a full look at your face. Without saying anything he leaned in, his eyes hooded, placing his lips on yours. One of his hands found its way to your head while the other rested on your hip. You pushed your body closer to his, while gently dragging your nails across his back.

"Mm Doll." He mumbled against your lips. "I... I want to continue this with you if that's alright with you."

"Yes, Bucky." And in an instant after giving him the word, he maneuvered you onto your back while he hovered on top of you, his dogtags dangling down. He removed them from his body.

"Don't want those hitting your pretty face." He smiled and leaned in to kiss you once again, this time him slipped his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. His warm hand rested on your neck before he slowly dragged it down your chest and to the hem of your shirt. He messed with it a little, teasing to go underneath.  You whine a bit and arch your back as he kept messing with it.

"May I?" You simply nod in response. He pushed himself away from you and took the hem of your shirt, helping you remove it. The cold air hitting your now exposed chest made you shiver. "No bra? Naughty." He smirked.

"I'm not the one who came out only his his boxers."

"Touché." He tossed your shirt onto the ground and soaked in the view below him. The perfect lighting leaking through the blinds illuminated everything in just the right way. James licked his lips, "You are gorgeous, doll."

"You're pretty handsome yourself." You smile, which made him smile.

"Let me treat you like a goddess. Let me repay the favor." Without another word James attacked your neck with his mouth, nipping and sucking on the area. He continued leaving love marks from your neck down to your chest slowly. The sensation made you moan as tingles went through your body. You felt yourself getting wetter as he continued to leave hickies on your chest.

Bucky used his non-vibranium hand to cup your right breast, kneading it gently. Maintaining eye contact with you his leans his head down to your free breast before giving your raised nipple a quick lick. The feel made your body shake ever so slightly, making him smirk at the reaction. He did it again, although this time slower before latching on, using his tongue to swipe over the sensitive bump.

"Bucky-" You gasped. You felt heat slowly build in your core, not enough to have you screaming, but enough to feel pleasurable. "That feels so good." He continued giving your tender breasts and nipples attention, slowly building you up.

"Lets get these pajama shorts off." He sat up again, moving himself lower on the bed. He gripped the waistband of your shorts and began slowly removing them while you lifted your legs to help. Discarding them like your shirt, he tosses those articles of clothing to the floor. You were left with just your panties

His hands take your knees and help spread your legs farther a part, soaking in the view of your body spread out. His mouth found its place on your in thigh. He left small kissed, sometimes little bites, and he dragged his mouth closer and closer to your wet pussy. "I want to taste you doll, is that alright?"

"Y-yes Bucky, please." You begged, adjusting your hips ever so slightly. "I want to feel you more."

"As you wish." He smirked. Before he removes your panties he places soft kissed over the fabric covering your pussy. You stifle a moan, as he continued to tease you against the fabric. When he was done, he remove your underwear with ease.

"You are stunning, absolutely stunning." His hand found its way to your slit. He gently  brushed his fingers over your sensitive skin, making your body twitch ever so slightly. "You're so wet for me, already." His tongue slowly and softly dragged around your vagina and clit, the teasing is back on.

"A-Ah!" You quietly moaned, trying to keel your voice down. You moan again when you felt one metal finger enter slowly while his mouth latched to your clit. One of your hands reached down to grip his hair as he began to finger and play with your clitoris.

The pleasure had your curling your toes. You had to bite your lip to hold back from moaning loudly. You didn't feel like waking up the others.

Another finger entered as he started to speed up his motions, his tongue and mouth still on your clitoris.

"That feels so good." You said with an airy tone as he continued to work.

"You taste divine." His breath against your sensitive skin made you your thighs clamp around his head. The pleasure was building up and you felt like your were close to cumming.

"J-James, - oh god!" You kept your voice down but the work he is doing to your clit made it hard to stay quiet. "Fuck-"

James give your clit one last lick before sitting, removing his fingers in the process. He then licked his fingers clean as he stared down at your panting body. He could feel his cock wanting to be free from his boxers so he removed them, letting his large erection out. He watched you squirm as you awaited for his touch again.

"Do you want my dick inside you, doll?"

"Ye-yes please." You begged, wiggling your hips for him. "Please!"

"God your so hot." He leaned back over you, placing a sloppy kiss on your mouth. You could taste yourself on his lips. Lining himself up to your entrance he looked to you. "Ready?"

"Yes!" He smiled, and slowly slide his cock inside you. You gasp as you feel him stretch you out, tears stinging your eyes. He stopped once he was fully in, letting you have a moment to get adjusted. "I don't know how I'll keep my voice down."

"Bury your face into my neck, I want to hear you moan my name."

You did what he suggested, you wrapped your arms around his torso while he used his vibranium arm to stay stable and his other arm around your head to keep himself close to you. His body was completely on top of yours.

"You can move now."

James slowly moved his hips away, almost entirely removing his cock from you except the tip before thrusting back in. Your moan was successful smothered by his body. He continued thrust himself inside your pussy, the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room.

"O-Oh James- yesyesyes," You mewl. "You feel so good." You heard him let out a husky groan in your ear.

"I love it when you say my name, (Y/N)." He whispered in your ear as he kept his pace. You continue to moan out his name, gripping him tight as his thrust got faster. "Fuck, your so tight."

"Shit- faster!" You begged and he obliged. "You're so good to me Bucky. You-you're perfect." You could feel his thrust starting to gst sloppy as you felt waves of pleasure course through your body.

"Baby you make me crazy." He moaned. You could feel his hand make its way down to your clit, and your body arches against his as he pressed down on the sensitive bud. He practically started pounding your pussy as he moaned in your ear.

"James I'm gonna- I'm so close!" You cry out as the the feeling kept building.

"Do it, cum for me."

It was like everything in your body started shake as the pressure finally snaps in your core. You bury your face into his chest and moan his name as blinding, white hot pleasure filled your being. Your walls tighten around his cock  and you feel him start to tense.

His thrusts became harder before he finally released his thick cum inside of you before collapse onto of you, panting. Both of you were sweaty and breathing hard, but neither of you moved. The feeling of his cock inside you, twitching, was extremely hot.

"You're amazing, (Y/N)." He grinned, making you smiled.

"You're the best damn thing in my life, James."

---------

You woke up naked the next morning, curled up to an equally naked, sleeping Bucky. You smiled, remembering last nights confession and everything after that. You watch him sleep for a moment before deciding to slip out of bed to make everyone breakfast. You throw on the pajamas you wore before hand and quietly leave the room.

You close the door as quietly as and turned around, only to see Frank sitting at the table reading a magazine you had lying around.

"Oh good morning Frank." You smiled and walked past him, hoping he wouldn't notice anything. "I'm gonna make some breakfast for everyone."

"Morning, (Y/N)." He grunted. "Sleep well?"

You almost choked on air, "Yes, I did. How about you?"

"Oh you know, the couch is alright but I am a light sleeper remember? I kept hearing weird noises through the night. " Your face felt on fire as you turned to face him. He wore a smug smirk on his face. "Got something on your neck there."

You rush to grab your phone and look in the camera. Low and behold, hickies were left on your neck. "Shit."

Frank snorted, "So you finally got with your crush, huh?"

"Oh shut it you grump."

"I'm just teasing you. You know I'm happy for you, (Y/N)."

"Thanks, Frank."

Frank decided to help you with breakfast, taking on making bacon and sausage while you attended to making pancakes. And sure enough the rest of the people in the apartment came out.

"They're gonna see them. "

"I know, I am bracing myself for Sam's teasing." You sigh. You go and place the plate  pancakes you made on the table while Frank placed the bacon and sausage he made.

"G'morning, doll. I missed ya in the morning." Bucky approached you, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"I wanted you to wake up to some breakfast." You grinned and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Did you finally confess your feelings?" You heard Sam. "I gotta get ahold of Tic Tac and Clint they owe- what the hell is on your neck (Y/N), is that what I think it is?" He groaned and sat at the table, everyone taking their spots.

"Hickies are messages on the body that can show ones presence on another-" Zemo spoke but was cut off by Sam.

"I do not want to know, Zemo. Lets just eat."

Breakfast was great. You were surprised Frank got along with the others, though it did take some talking to by Sam to break him out of his shell. You also could have sworn Buck and Frank had a stare down at one point but were both laughing and smiling.

You take hold of Bucks hand that was on the table and give it a light squeeze, smiling at him while he smiled back. Life was pleasant even after these emergency visits.

[drakenology]

Game Over 👾 - Kenma Kozume

gamer!kenma x gamer!reader

summary: kenma works at gamestop and this cutie came in to buy a new game. wonder if she’s single..

author’s note: kenma simps come get yall juice 🥵! we love a gamer boy. hope yall like dis. 🥴

warnings: smut (obviously), softdom!kenma, hair pulling, fluffy stuff, shitty rom-coms and kuroo being a hype man.

Slow days at GameStop were the worst. No one comes in anymore; who the hell still buys disks when you can buy all your games digitally now anyways? Still, it was easy money and something to do over the summer other than sit around and binge play League of Legends all day.

Kenma sighed as he pretended to look busy in front of the manager by fixing the poster wall for the eighth time all shift, mundanity floating through the store as three customers left after just leisurely looking around.

As Kenma’s restocking the playstation game wall he feels a tap on his shoulder.

“Um, excuse me do you work here?” A feminine voice asked.

“No. I just wear this fucking uniform shirt because I like it.” Kenma thought to himself before turning his head to face what was possibly the cutest girl he’s ever seen.

Kenma’s not really used to seeing too many girls in the store when he worked so he was a little shocked. But god she was pretty. She was wearing red; one of his favorite colors with these jeans that hugged her legs and thighs so nice he almost choked on his tongue before speaking.

“Uh.. yeah. How can I help you?” He finally responded.

“Hi! Um, I just wanted to know where I can find Fallout 4 for xbox? I’ve been looking everywhere for it and I can’t find it.” She sung. Her voice was like a symphony of everything good in the world. Kenma started to wonder what she’d sound like underneath him while he-

“Yeah. I’ll show you, I had to move them for a while so I could make room for newer games.” Kenma said, leading her towards the wall with all the xbox games were. He reached up high and grabbed the game off rhe top shelf and handed it to her with a meek smile.

“Thanks! I see you’re the only one working so I’ll look around and let you know when I’m ready to checkout.” She said smiling back. Kenma nodded and continued his work slowly so he could stare at her through the shelfs and hangers around the store.

The way she picked up things as she looked at them was adorable; her nose scrunching up as she giggled at the pikachu plushies. Kenma blushed as he watched her look around the store as if it were her first time visiting. She gamed, so it’s not like she’s never been in a gamestop before. But the way she looked at things she liked with fresh eyes was something to ponder on. He had to know her; at least her name.

Anyone who knew Kenma would know he’s not the type to go oogling at some girl and ask for her number, he’s hopelessly shy. But he couldn’t risk not seeing this girl again. As he walked to the counter, he gulped up his reluctance and took a deep breath.

“Hey. Ready when you are.” He said, getting the girl’s attention. She smiled and walked over with her game and a pikachu plushie; of course. She’s so fucking cute.

“Heh. Pikachu?” He teased, hoping he didn’t offend her. She simply laughed and put it on the counter for him to ring up.

“What can I say? I’m 12.” She said, sticking out her tongue with a smirk. Fuck. Kenma gulped again, pathetically blushing right in front of her and hoping she didn’t notice the tint of his cheeks turn bright red. He grabbed her stuff and rang it up, bagging it all nice for her before handing the bag to her.

“Want a receipt?” Kenma asked. She nodded, standing at the counter as she watched him print it out. Shit. The exchange was almost over and he hasn’t even asked her name yet. He had to before it was too late.

“Hey uh.. c-can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Kenma said, looking down at the screen and not into her gorgeous eyes.

“Yeah? What’s wrong, sir?” She asked. Fuck. Sir? Really? What’s she trying to do?

“What’s your name?”

“Y/N, why?”

“I-I wanted to know if I could have your number? And like maybe take you out- o-only if you want to I’m not-“

She laughed, and wrote her name and number on the back of the receipt and handed it back to him.

“Call me. I’d love to go out with you. You seem cool.” Y/N said. She squinted her eyes a little to read Kenma’s name tag.

“Ken..ma? Right? I’ll see you around, Kenma.”

And so began his helpless fall for her.

“Yo! Kenma, how’s it going with Y/N? Been a couple months now, right?” Kuroo asked over the discord server. Kenma blushed and looked down at his phone to see that you texted him.

“We’re good. She’s actually coming over in a bit so this will be my last game.” He said, smiling a little at your sweet message.

“Hey, Kenny! I’m on my way over. I’m raiding your kitchen btw I’m hungry 🤤 .”

“Ooooh, Kenma’s ‘bout to get some pussssayyy!” Kuroo teased. Kenma cringed and covered his flustered face as if anyone could see him.

“Shut up. Sh-she and I are taking it slow. I dunno if we’ll even go there today. None of your business anyways, perv!” Kenma explained, nervous about you coming over for the first time like ever.

You two had been on a few dates now, he had even met your roommate and your other friends. You two got so close after that day you had met at the GameStop and he was so grateful he came to work that day instead of calling out to binge play videogames. Kuroo erupted in furious laughter and continued his games with Kenma, enthused about him about finally getting some.

“Gotta hand it to you man, you managed to get yourself a hottie. And a gamer at that. I’m jealous.” Kuroo added, Kenma rolling his eyes.

He knew it too though. Kenma wasn’t necessarily a ladies man so it was a mystery what drew you to him. Still, he’s grateful he could spend his time with you even if you guys weren’t set in stone just yet.

Just as the game wrapped up, he received a call from his new favorite person.

“Hey, Kenma. I’m outside! Lemme in!” You giggle into the phone before the front door flung open, Kenma scooping you into his arms.

“Hey, you. Missed you.” He said into your hair. You smile and hug him back, following his lead inside. His little apartment was so cozy, gamer memorabilia all over the place as it screamed “Kenma”. It was so him. You smile and walk into his bedroom, thinking nothing of it as you gawk at his gaming setup.

“Woah. Didn’t know working at gamestop could get you a $1,000 set up!” You exclaim. Kenma laughed.

“Oh, I guess I didn’t tell you. I game professionally. GameStop is just another way for me to be close to videogames. Discounts are nice too.” He explained.

“So you’re a streamer?”

“Yup. You should watch me sometime. I-If you want.” Kenma said flustered. You smile and hook your arms around his neck and give him a peck on the nose.

You two spent most of the day talking about games and the lastest on manga you were both reading. Everytime you talked to him, he gave you something new to read and you’d talk about it next time you talked about it together.

Soon, you two were cuddling and watching shitty rom-coms; making fun of them became your favorite past time. You chuckle as the female protagonist says something completely cheesy about loving her love interest forever and gag at the kissing scene, Kenma covering his face in second hand embarrassment.

Then he took one look at you, snuggled up against him with your ass poking out against his groin. You were the little spoon, his arms around your waist as you look up at him from time to time to make a comment on the movie. Kenma was in love. But he had no idea how to tell you without scaring you off. What if it’s too soon? What if she doesn’t feel the same?

A cheesy sex scene displayed on the T.V causing you to get a little hot. Sure it was pretty lame but the thought of having sex right now; especially cuddled up with a cute boy, wasn’t too bad of an idea. Kenma’s sweating a little too, his dick growing hard as he realized the girl he really liked was laying in bed with him while watching borderline porn together; his face red as tomatos.

“Shit, I hope she doesn’t feel my dick poking against her. Fuck, she’s just so pretty.. I just wanna-“

“K-Kenma..?” You breath out, wet and face full of embarrassment.

“Yeah?” He said.

“I-I uh.. I don’t know how to say this but.. I’m h-horny.” You whisper as if someone else was in the room other than you two.

“A-Are you really?” Kenma asked, his dick growing more at the thought of how wet you were under your sweatpants, how hard and perky your nipples were under your bra. Fuck, he had to have you.

“Yeah.. I don’t know why but this scene is.. kinda turning me on.” You said, turning to face him to see his face bright red and eyes full of lust. You gulp, just as hungry as he is.

“Me too.” He said, staring down at your plump lips.

“Yeah?” You ask with seduction coating your tongue unintentionally, licking your lips as you bit down lightly as you looked up at him.

“Yeah.”

Kenma inched closer to your face, you following his lead as your lips finally met; your first kiss. The kiss was heavy, hands exploring and groping each other as you both moan into the kiss.

Clothes are shed and thrown to the side of the bed, Kenma drinking in the sight of your half naked body and savoring it. He pulled you back into the kiss, his tongue searching your mouth as you received him eagerly. You were making out so heavily, foreplay almost wasn’t even needed with how wet you got from his touch and kiss. You became so needy for him, the spot between your legs aching as your heart skipped eight beats.

“Kenma I-“ you said breaking the kiss, interrupted by a feral Kenma.

“No. I-I wanna take my time with you. Don’t rush.” You nod, Kenma grabbing your chin to pull you up to kiss him again.

You gasp, his hands a little cold as he touched your breasts. He groped and squeezed them, playing with your nipples as your squirm to gain friction in your panties.

You’re whining against Kenma’s mouth, desperate for him to touch you where you needed him most. As Kenma pulled away, he took a brief moment to look down at your body as he climbed on top of you.

“You’re so pretty.” He gushed, causing you to giggle and reach up to move his hair from his face.

“You too. U-Uh I mean, you’re handsome.” You said weakly, aching for something more than just kissing. He smirked at you, like a switch went off in his mind. He wasn’t the sweet and shy Kenma he was a second ago, feral lust changing his demeanor as he took a nipple into his mouth. You moan, your breath shaky as he ghosts his fingers over your panties; him feeling a wet spot on them as he hummed.

“You’re so wet, angel.” He moaned, you surprised at your new nickname. Kenma’s fingers are pulling your panties aside expertly and coating them in your slick in seconds, your moans filling his ears as he prodded them at your entrance. Your breathing becomes uneven as he slids them inside, suckling on your nipple as he looked you in the eyes.

You’re a moaning mess for him, the sounds of the movie playing were drowned out by your pathetic little moans as Kenma fingered you with his slim fingers.

“Hah.. Uuugh, K-Kenmaaa.” You gasp, an orgasm brewing in the pit of your stomach. Kenma chuckled, pulling away from your breast to coax you; talking you through the orgasm about to wash over your body as his fingers hooked to find that spot you like.

“Am I making you feel good, baby?” He asks, you unable to answer as you hold his arm for dear life. “Answer me.”

“Y-Yes! God, Ah! I’m gonna-“

“I know, baby. Cum for me. Cum all over my fucking fingers.” He cooed, rubbing harsh circles into your clit as your legs nearly jolt closed, the pleasure becoming too much as you boil over.

“Yeahhhh baby. Good girl.” He mumbled, rubbing your clit slowly to help ride out your peak, leaving soft kisses on your forehead to soothe you.

You let out a deep sigh, warn out from fingering alone. No one has ever made you feel this good using just his hands. Imagine what he can do to you with his dick.

“Bend over, baby.” Kenma said, motioning for you to turn over on the bed by tapping your outer thigh. You blink dumbly at him, your high still lingering as you flip yourself over on the bed and lay flat.

“Ass up.” He demanded, striking your ass with just enough power to snap you out of your finger-dumb trance. You yelp and arch your back, bringing your ass closer to him as he grabbed your hips.

Kenma stayed still for a while and marveled at your ass bent over for him, rubbing your ass with his big hands and smacking it every so often. He bit his lip, mumbling fuck under his breath as he teased his dick against your already worn out pussy.

You turn to look back at him, lust in your eyes and a face Kenma would never forget.

“F-fuck me. Please Ken, I n-need you.” You beg, tearing up at the feeling of Kenma’s smooth dick brushing up against your sensitive clit.

“Say no more, baby. Gonna fuck you so good.” He hissed, nearly shoving himself inside. You gasp, the feeling of him stretching you so deliciously forcing a guttural moan from your chest.

Kenma started his pace hard yet slow, making sure you felt every inch; every vein of his dick, giving it his all as he ripped your noises from your mouth.

You’re panting, unable to keep up with him as you grip onto the sheets. You shoved your face into his pillows, screams uncontrollably leaving your lips as Kenma started brutally pounding into your poor pussy.

“Uhhnnn! I-I love you Kenma!” You shout, biting down on the pillow as you feel your chest get hot in embarrassment. God, why did you have to say love? Surely he doesn’t feel the same just yet.

“Fuck, I love you too, Y/N. Hah, I wanted to say that to you for so long.” Kenma admits, grabbing a fist full of your hair and yanking you up to him as he hummed sweet praised into your ear as he fucked you stupid. You sob, relieved he felt the same way.

The ultimate exchange of love between two people emerged as he threw you back onto the bed and raised on leg up onto the bed to gain a better angle on that sweet spot of yours causing you to shriek and clench around him as you come close to cumming. Suddenly, the searing hot pleasure stops as Kenma pulled out of you. You whine, your entire body shuddering from the extreme loss.

“Get up. I want you over my desk.” Kenma said, pulling you off the bed by your arm. He was being so rough with you right now you almost thought you were fucking a completely different person; Kenma the shy and awkward gamer boy transformed into the sexiest Dom you’d ever been with.

Your legs wobble as you stood bent over his desk and gaming set up, your naked chest pressed against the cold wood as you wait for him to fuck you again. Kenma prodding himself at your entrance and leaned down close to your ear, sliding himself inside you once more with a grunt.

“You feel so good, you know that? Ugh, I’m gonna ruin you.” He huffed, you answering with a whine. He’s plowing you into his desk before you can respond properly, your hands glued onto the sides of it for dear life. Sooner than late, your orgasm is knocking at your door. Tears bubble in your eyes as you cry out for Kenma.

“C-C-Can I cum now? P-please godd let me cum Ken, ahhah!” You babble, almost unable to hold yourself back for much longer as he pummeled you nice and hard.

“G’head, baby. Cum nice and hard for me.” Kenma granted, giving your ass a hard smack to make you clench around his dick harder as you came. It was amazing. It was like a volcano erupted inside you, loud moans and sobs filling the room as your chest heaved in and out.

Kenma ruts into you one last time and pulls out swiftly, stroking his dick to release himself onto your ass as you sigh from the loss. You both stand still for a while, Kenma staring down at your coating ass cheeks and you at your fucked out reflection of his monitor. You feel him step away, too drunk off your orgasm to even care what he’s doing as he cleans you up and leads you back to bed.

“I dunno where I threw your shirt so I’m just gonna grab one of mine, okay?” Kenma says, rubbing small circles into your back. You nod, eyes closed as you hum into the pillow in comfort.

You tried not to doze off as Kenma dressed you in some clothes of his that you were totally going to steal, his scent coating the fabric of his t-shirt. After a little while, Kenma’s in bed with you lacing his body with yours as he stroked your back to soothe you to sleep.

“Can I sleep over?” You ask cutely. Kenma smiled and kissed your forehead.

“Duh.” He said. You giggle and nuzzle your head into his chest, taking in his scent as you start to doze off.

“Kenma?”

“Hm?”

“Did you mean that? What you said when we were... you know.” You ask, unsure. Kenma grabbed your chin and turned you to face him.

“Of course. I-I uh..” He paused. “I knew loved you the day I met you, Y/N.”

You tear up, pulling him up to kiss you.

“Same.” You say, holding him impossibly closer.

“So does this mean we’re-“ Kenma’s interrupted by the sound of you falling fast asleep, small snores driving Kenma into cuteness overload. He sighs, kissing your forehead as you slept on his chest.

Moments like these are truly ones to cherish.

Tags!

@officialvanitype

wanna be tagged? dm me!

[concerningwolves]

I’ve been catching up with The Walking Dead and just watched season 11,episode 6 where the majority of the story is told from Connie’s POV, a deaf woman. I found it really interesting and know that the actress(who is deaf in real life)had a lot of input on how her character was portrayed. Not sure if you watch or have ever watched but if you have, what did you think? Not just about the representation but also the apocalypse setting? I’ve been trying to write an apocalypse but sometimes feel like the whole zombie thing is overdone now.

Excuse me coming to this months after you asked, but! I finally watched it! I started binging the Walking Dead, oh ... four years ago? Three? Idk. I enjoyed it, but somewhere around the prison arc, I just started to lose interest a bit and stopped watching.

But anyway, to address your question: once I recovered from the severe mental whiplash of Carol having long hair and Daryl still being alive, I definitely liked Connie's little bit of story in that episode. I'm always pleased when TV shows depict d/Deaf POVs by muffling or entirely muting sound, so that viewers have to step right into that character's shoes. It's like in Matt Fraction's Hawkeye, issue #19, where dialogue boxes were blank and there were sign language panels in place of traditional dialogue. (Granted I haven't gotten past volume three of the Fraction Hawkeyes so I'm yet to read that issue myself, but everything I've seen of it makes me go 😍). It's always very *chef's kiss* to me.

Knowing that Connie's actress is deaf and had input is also nice. Obviously I was only watching that episode in isolation so I can't comment on the show's representation overall, but I did enjoy it. If you want to know more about what other d/Deaf people thought, see if you can find reviews from non-verbal sign-speaking d/Deaf folks specifically, since they've even more skin in the conversation than I do.

As for zombies being overdone ... I mean, yeah, they are. But I also think that's actually part of the charm of the genre (if one can use "charm" in relation to zombies). Zombie apocalypse is very much a "holy shit, two cakes!" kind of genre, in that its core themes – end of the world because of undead and/or infected people, humanity striving to keep existing – are very replicable. They're easy to repeat across different stories, so you generally know exactly what you're in for when you sit down to engage with zombie media. For some people, the appeal is in the deep humanity that you find in most zombie media; for others, it's the violence; or maybe it's the criticisms of human nature. Whatever the case, there's always an audience for it.

Pieces of zombie media that stand out don't have to be hugely unique, either. The Last of Us (video game), The Girl With All the Gifts (book by M. R. Carey) and Train to Busan (film) all share similar core themes. Across all three, the theme is "caretaker(s) and child traversing a hostile world", and a lot of their popularity comes from the tenderness, tragedy and very human nature of the stories. These things resonate with people, so they'll happily engage with media that is similar purely to get more of those sweet, sweet Feels™.

(Putting the rest of this under a read more, because there are spoilers ahead for the endings of The Last of Us videogame and the book The Girl With All the Gifts.)

With TLoU and Gifts specifically, the shared theme is "people travelling with a child who is somehow immune to the virus, who promises to be humankind's salvation". It isn't the zombies in TLoU and Gifts that are particularly unique – they both use the idea that the cordyceps fungus has evolved to infect humans. It's the plots, and the way these plots are resolved, that makes them stand out. In Gifts, the characters realise that the world can't return to the way it was, so they change it in an alarming and irrevocable way to allow the world to evolve. In TLoU, it's Joel's decision to save Ellie (a tangible goal based off of very human desires) instead of sacrificing Ellie for the intangible concept of saving the world.

There are still zombie medias that take the basic concept and sprint off into the unknown though. Take the TV show iZombie (based off a comic, iirc), which is utterly balls to the walls and flips a lot of genre standards upside-down. Instead of being mindless, the zombies are ordinary people who can live human lives, assuming they get enough brains. (Oh, and they take on key personality traits from the brains they eat, as well as getting visions from the person's life. It's wild). Instead of a massive cataclysmic apocalypse, it's a slow descent as the zombies try to live normal lives, while yet other zombies see their new state of living as a way to make money, thereby threatening to expose the rest of their kind.

On the more serious, genre-typical horror end of the spectrum is Stephen King's Cell, in which the "zombie" outbreak is actually caused by a type of technological virus spread through mobile phones, playing on common fears of technological warfare that were on the rise at the time of publication. The infected gain psionic powers, and there's also some sort of "hive mind" thing going on with the infected, which lends itself to the main plot. (It's been years since I read it so I can't recall details). Basically, King uses the infected as an active antagonist, rather than the more passive, environmental antagonist as is common in most other examples of the genre, i.e., The Walking Dead.

I could truly write an entire essay on zombie apocalypse stuff (... more so than I have here already. Oops), but the TL;DR of this post is: there is always an audience for the basic, "overdone" zombie apocalypse fiction and there are still ways to make it unique. The genre still has a lot to give IMO, and this is a hill that I will, if not die on, at least stand on top of while loudly making my opinions and feelings known.

[deliriumsdelight7]

TMI Tuesday

Well, the past few weeks have been very slow, writing-wise. I’m working on like four things at once and none of them are making it easy on me. Honestly with the death and family drama and just general BLEGH that’s been going on, I’ve been spending more time watching TV and playing video games.

Which, on that note: I binge-watched Sandman this weekend, and I absolutely loved it! I don’t think there’s a single thing I was unhappy with. You should slide into my inbox and bug me about it.

I managed to get the next chapter of One Thing Forever True out. It’s a chapter I’d been looking forward to writing since I started writing this fic. The chapter was really hard to write, because we’re at basically the height of issues between the three characters. It’s so hard to get them to talk without resolving anything, because I’m very much the “figure shit out like adults” type. Anyway, despite how hard it was to write, I had a blast doing it. I was so excited to share this chapter with the Rumbelle fandom.

…which is why it really damn irked me that the first comment I got was basically a passive-aggressive jab at how long the fic went without updating. I’ve been saying for months now how the lack of engagement in this fandom is what’s basically wanting to make me go elsewhere. Comments like this do not help matters. If you want content, show me that by expressing interest in what I write. Leave comments. Reblog. Send asks about my fics. Because guess what? I’m a spiteful, stubborn jackass. So sending me guilt-trippy passive-aggressive comments? Just makes me want to dig in my heels and stop posting.

Anyway.

I’m struggling my way through four Hellcheer things currently. There’s a post-s4 oneshot where Eddie and Chrissy have to survive together in the Upside Down. There’s the shameless smut where Eddie goes down on girls who do deals with him (still haven’t gotten to the smut). There’s the next chapter of We Could Be Invisible, and the one for My Blood Is My Own Now. Snippets available for all!

If you have any questions for me, or for the characters in any of my fics, send me an ask! I’m also organizing a Hellcheer gift exchange in October, so feel free to ask me about that!

[taeescript]

29 + 1 (Part Two)

𝔰𝔶𝔫𝔬𝔭𝔰𝔦𝔰: In which Seokjin is the Devil from The Devil Wears Prada, Taehyung is your work Jesus and Jimin is your handsome successful brother.

𝔭𝔞𝔦𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: seokjin x reader (squint harder than before for taehyung x reader) 

𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢: slice of life; ceo!seokjin; a dash of enemies to lovers au 

𝔴𝔠: 7.6k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰: language; a plethora of drunk people, maybe a sext, and a ton of lying (possible implication of impending smut?!) 

𝔞/𝔫: this part came out longer than i thought it would be but *shrugs* feedback and thoughts always welcomed. enjoy (:  𝔡𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯: DailyHive is real; this is not associated with it 

part one || part three 

The bright pop music that is blaring from the speakers does little to slow your animated talking. Bodies are packed into the small local bar, and students on summer break fill booths and form a snake of impatient, drunk (and horny) people. A slow trickle of the brazen has started to fill the dance floor as the evening morphs into the night.

  You whip your hair into a ponytail and dab at the sweat that is beading your forehead. You definitely should have worn that sleeveless top rather than this thicker t-shirt dress.

  “So, is he like your sugar daddy or something?” Taehyung asks, “Also drink.”

  Friday nights were usually spent at home, snuggled under the blankets in your pjs binging another rewatch of Friends. After work today, you could no longer hold onto your secret and invited Taehyung out for drinks. His girlfriend, Fei, was supposed to join but had been held back for overtime.

  You tip the shot back with no chase.

  “You’re a monster,” he comments as he bites into his lemon piece.

  The two of you had made a bet at the beginning of the evening: you each chose a pop song and each time it played, the nominee had to take a shot. That was your fourth of the night, and to say there was a bit of a buzz is an understatement.

  “It’s all throat technique, Tae,” you say with a bit of a slur, “Hit the back and swallow. No innuendo intended. Also, why the hell haven’t you had any to drink?”

  “You picked ‘Peaches’ for fuck’s sake.”

  “I told you I don’t listen to pop music. It was the first one playing.”

  “And shouldn’t that have told you something? Justin Bieber of all people?”

  “Shut up. It’s your song.” You nod at the pink-faced barista for another round. She slaps your order in front of the two of you without so much a glance.

You don’t even know what song is playing, but you feel quite satisfied watching Taehyung make a face as he downs it in one go.

  He clears his throat after the liquor has burned its way down to his stomach. “Back to my question: is he your sugar daddy?”

  You bark out a laugh. Was he? Perhaps the fact that he paid for fancy meals at lunch? Those have been his one o’clock meetings for the past two months.

  “I don’t know. I’d rather he buy me a car or pay my rent if anything. A casual 1k a week wouldn’t be so bad either. We just sit in his office and eat in secret, Tae. He’s ‘training me in the art of culinary cuisine’. I think it’s just so I don’t embarrass him by stuffing a shrimp cocktail up my nose.”

  “You do know – ”

“Yes, I know. And I would never. It’s a metaphor. It’s just that the position ‘intern’ is quite loosely defined at DailyHive, don’t you think?”

  Taehyung rinses his mouth with water before speaking. “So let me get this right. Mr. Kim calls you into his office, says he’s going to take you as his guest to the biggest tech event of the year, treats you to lunches and doesn’t ask for anything in return? No secret midnight meetups or shady business deals…”

  You shake your head.

  “Damn,” Taehyung says, resting his arm on the bar table, “Forget sugar daddy. He’s just daddy.”

  Sticking your tongue out, you gag visibly at his comment. “Do not ever call him that again, Tae; ev-er.”

  He laughs and watches you pensively. After a moment’s thought, he says, “Nobody has ever called me Tae.”

  “What do they call you then?” you reply, wrinkling your brows together. A cute brunette across the room catches your eyes and for the briefest of seconds, you wonder what a one-night-stand would feel like.

  He shrugs. “Just Taehyung.”

  The brunette waves in your direction. You are about to return his wave when an equally cute brunette runs up to him. He promptly kisses her before swivelling her around to join his group of friends.

  “Sorry. Do you want me to stop? I just assumed since we were out of the office…”

Oh Fate, how cruel you are. Life of twenty cats and solidarity, here you come. Maybe dogs. You feel like you could be more of a dog person.

  “No,” he stops you, “You can call me Tae. Whatever you want.”

  You turn your attention back on the also cute brunette in front of you. In all honestly, despite his youthful god-like countenance, he looks slightly out of place at this college bar with you in his upstanding business attire and dorkishly adorable thick-framed glasses.

  “Sure. How about Tee-Tee? Or Hyungie? The TaeMan?” You wiggle your brows with the suggestion.

  “God help me.”

  The two of you clink your shot glasses together even though neither of your songs are being played.

  His Apple watch lights up to indicate an incoming message. He relays the text to you, “Fei’s done work. She’s on her way now.” You can’t help but notice a shift in his previously excited demeanor.

  You nudge him with your elbow. “Aren’t you excited? She’ll need a glass of wine or two to destress after work. I might be projecting onto you for this part, but you’re buzzed. So after we get her to unwind I’m sure the overwhelming power of pheromones will get you lucky tonight.” You wink at him to emphasize your point.  

“She’s not a big drinker. She’s probably just going to come and ask to leave in five minutes. Bars like this aren’t really her thing either,” he states. He then unbuckles his watch and tucks it away into the pocket of his pants. Undoing the cuffs of his shirt, he rolls up the sleeves and continues to regard you solemnly. “Okay, next round is one me. Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to switch songs?”

  You notice how nice, long, and slender his fingers are. Plus the thing of girls liking when men have visible veins on their forearm? That had never really caught your attention until now.

  “She’s a bit of a bitch,” you say and immediately regret, “Shit, sorry. That just slipped out. Alcohol.”

  He offers you his water to drink.

  “I mean, she’s a little…uptight at times? But people can be completely different in and out of work. I can only imagine how stressful it is in her position. Working overtime until 9pm on a Saturday night seriously sucks,” you say to try and mend your wrongdoing.

  “Fei in the office is basically Fei at home,” he says softly, “It’s always work with her.”

  “We support career-driven women, yeah?” A smile is offered from you to him.

  He finally lets out a small one and nods. Out of the blue, he reaches over and covers your hand with his. Staring intently into your eyes, he says, “I know she makes you do her reports and occupies your time to do her coffee runs as well. You can say no to her. She may be my girlfriend, but you’re technically my intern, and I will stand on your side no matter what.”

  “Um, okay. Thanks, Tae,” you say. His sincerity has caught you off guard.

  At that moment, the sound of clicking heels pierce its way into your eardrums through the noise of the even busier bar. Taehyung quickly retracts his hand.

  Fei arrives, not a hair out of place in her tightly pulled bun. Her lips are painted a striking red against the paleness of her skin, and her manicured nails dig into the forearm of Taehyung when she reaches them. Even though she is wearing an otherwise drab office business suit, the curvature of her body draws quite a few glances from the younger men in the crowd.

  “It’s like a zoo here,” she sneers, turning away from a sacrificial lamb who had been bold enough step out of his circle of friends to greet her with a sleezy “hey”.

  “Hi, Fei. Busy night?” you greet her first.

  She gives you a tight-lipped smile. “Yes. I don’t know why you weren’t there. Isn’t it the intern’s job to complete reports?”

  Again, a loosely defined use of “intern” at DailyHive.

  You return her smile with a crisp one of your own.

  She turns away from you and regards Taehyung, who looks as if he had been the sacrificial lamb instead. “Teddybear, let’s go home. You know this type of place isn’t my vibe. I’m getting a headache already.”

  You raise an eyebrow at his pet name.

  He turns a little bit pinker, if that is possible under the current alcohol-induced glow of his cheeks, and says, “Um, sure. Y/N, are you going to be okay getting home?”

  Waving him off, you show him your phone. “30% left. I’ve got pepper spray in my bag and enough booze in me to not run from a fight. I’ll call an Uber home soon, don’t worry.”

  Fei has already begun to fight her way through the squirming, dancing bodies. Taehyung glances quickly at her and turns back to you once last time. “Text me that you’re home safe.”

  “Will do, boss,” you smile at him warmly.

  He lingers for just a moment more before running after his impatiently waiting girlfriend.

  You turn back to the bar and order another beer for yourself. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is perhaps the biggest perk of being single.

...

On the opposite side of town, sinking deeply into a soft lounge chair is Seokjin enjoying a rare evening out with his best friend. He has swapped his usual attire for a more relaxed fit of a white oversized crewneck and techwear bottoms. A heavy, exorbitant fur-lined long leather coat hangs on the coat rack beside the door to their private VVIP room. He swirls his glass of Chateau Lafite before sipping delicately.

  Outside, only a handful of patrons sit quietly engrossed in their own conversations. It is a relatively empty night at the high-end lounge. A lady sings sultrily on stage with the smooth background of a saxophone as accompaniment.

  Junho has poured himself another glass while he is talking to Seokjin. Seokjin had since slightly tuned out his friend’s rather elongated rendition of another celebrity sighting to occupy his mind with another individual.

  “Earth to Jin? When did you get so lightweight since I’ve been gone?” Junho waves a hand in front of Seokjin’s nose.

  Seokjin blinks to refocus.

  “The mansion I bought last year or the one I bought last month?” he reiterates. Sensing that Seokjin truly had no idea what the topic at hand had been, he tries again.

  “Where should I do my birthday party this year, man? I thought the mansion from last year since it’s closer to the city, but I feel like it’s been reused too many times. It’s not completely furnished yet, but the property I got last month is significantly bigger and I can probably host more people.”

  “The new place then,” Seokjin answers half-heartedly.

  Junho grumbles something intelligible.

  “What did you say?”

  “Nothing,” Junho sighs, “Tell me what’s new with you. How’s that little project of yours going? I still can’t believe you won’t let me know who you’re planning to take to the Gala.”

  Seokjin had refused to release even the slightest detail about you to Junho. Letting him know that Seokjin had agreed to one of his plans would be enough to inflate Junho’s ego for at least a little while.

  “It’s been going...”

  Junho waits for more of Seokjin’s answer, but his friend’s attention has been turned to a received text.

  10:17pm “Safe and sound, Teddy Bear.”

  10:17pm “Or should I say Taeddybear? 🥴”

10:18pm “That last beer done me rael godo.”

  10:18pm “Real good**”

  Seokjin raises a brow at the unknown number. He responds back.

  10:18pm “Who is this? I think you’ve got the wrong number.”

  Junho crosses his legs and sits back with a sigh. He presses the button to request for an attendant.

  10:19pm “You know who… Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for saying you’ve got my back. It’s definitely appreciated.”

  The response doesn’t do much except to further pique Seokjin’s curiosity.

  “Sorry,” he says, sliding his phone back into his pocket, “Rogue text I think.”

  Junho shrugs. “Is that right? Seems to have caught your attention.” There is now a manner of indifference to his voice.

  “It’s going well, by the way – answering your question. I mean, all things considered. It’s not like I have to teach her how not to stuff a cocktail shrimp up your nose.”

  His friend snorts. “I’d be concerned and against this person if it’s who you’re planning to bring.”

  Seokjin’s phone buzzes again.

  10:21pm “Pray for me when I wake up with the worst hangover of my life. I’m going to bed now.”

  A moment of silence.

  10:21pm “I hope I didn’t piss off Fei tonight for stealing you for the evening.”

  10:22pm “Okay I’ll shut up now. Please don’t tell me you’re reading this. You should be getting some 😼💦.”

  The emoji makes Seokjin choke, liquid sputtering from his lips.

  Junho cusses. He angrily dabs at the speckle of red wine that has landed on his pearly white top.

  10:23pm Download attached image. “Just in case, here’s a little something to get the night started 😉”

  “What the hell man?” Junho gets up and makes his way to the bathroom. Luckily, the previously called attendant had arrived in time to escort him.

Seokjin barely notices that he is alone in room as he taps the download button. It isn’t until he has returned home and is looking at the picture one last time before bed that he realizes who his mysterious texter is.

  The employee nametag clipped to the collar of your workday shirt hanging on the arm of a chair can only be found when zoomed in past your painted toes and naked feet.

... 

You cannot hide your nervousness when you arrive at your “lunch meeting” the following Monday morning. All weekend, you had cursed yourself for not better checking who the recipient of your texts were before pressing send. Never had you thought that in your drunken stupor you would mix up “The Devil” in your contact list with “Taehyung Kim.” Curse you and your lack of friends beginning with the letter “T”.

  You balk before, a hand poised in perfect position for a knock. Maybe he didn’t download it? And even if he did, it was just a troll feet pic. You had made sure that it was as pg-13 as possible before you had sent it.

  “Hi,” you greet sheepishly when he has given you the go to enter.

  In a smart plain blue button-up and round frames that are almost certainly for the aesthetics, the CEO of the company and your boss sizes you up and down.

  “I know we’ve gotten to know each other better these past few weeks. But you’d think it’s still common courtesy to at least make eye contact,” he says. You look at him wide eyed without a word.

  He rolls his eyes but does not gesture to your usual seat. In fact, you don’t spy a take-out container in sight. He instead stands up and picks up his phone, walking to the door. He notices you have yet to move.

  “Let’s get moving. You’ve only got a 45 minute lunch.”

  You scramble to match his speed and catch Taehyung’s eye as you grab your jacket at your desk. Taehyung’s gaze follows you as you hurry to leave in pursuit of Seokjin’s coattail.

... 

The restaurant is a popular vegan establishment with a plethora of greenery crawling up its high ceilings and a window-framed overview of the city’s skyline. Waiters and waitresses who may just as well be walking New York Fashion Week serve you brunch mimosas on a golden plate; they attentively wait to the side in case you ever run out of water.

  Common topics are rare between the two of you. Initially, you respectfully kept quiet and only answered questions when asked, but you have never been one for awkward silence. Yes, it’s awkward only if you make it awkward; there is just no denying the hanging suspense that curls your toes each time. Recently, you have started with simple inquiries regarding the company, who they might meet at the Gala and everyday mundane topics.

  “You’re probably wondering why we’re out of the office,” Seokjin says. He continues shortly after taking a bite of his meal and ignores the look of your surprise at his initiation of a conversation. “My office has been getting stuffy with the warmer weather so I thought it’d be nice to get some fresh air. How’s the food?”

You nod, making small sounds of contentment as you chew on the Avocado Lime Tartare. Mmm… tart-y.

  He takes a deep breath in, stalling the incoming conversation. “It’s my friend’s birthday this next weekend.”

  “Oh,” you say, “Happy early birthday to him.”

  “He’s my best friend.”

  “Well… An extra happy early birthday to him.”

  A sigh. “Are you free next weekend?”

  Your chewing comes to a halt and you blink once at his question. Next weekend is the weekend before the Silver Gala. It is also the sole weekend before your birthday the following Friday after the Gala. You had hoped to spend it with Taehyung and maybe even Jimin who had promised to be in town on a long overdue vacation despite your chastising to visit your parents first.

  He senses your trepidation. Quickly, he explains himself, 

“He’s having a birthday party Saturday night. He has a place about an hour north of here. I can have somebody pick you up if that’s more convenient. I don’t have a birthday present for him and thought it’d be nice for you to meet him.”

  “You’re giving him me for a present?” you ask, incredulously.

  He bites his tongue. He never anticipated how awkward this conversation could go.

  “You’re going as my plus one. He really wants to meet you; in fact, he insisted that you be there. He’ll be at the gala too. I have something else planned for his birthday present,” he adds hastily, “Besides, you’re less than qualified as a present.”

  Musing silently to yourself, you wonder if in any situation should a human be qualified as a present. Despite that, you hate yourself as you agree on the spot.

  The rest of the lunch passes by quickly in dull silence. As Seokjin pays for the meal on the company card (and hands you the receipt for reimbursement), you note that there has been no comment made on any strange photos texted to him over the weekend.

  Perhaps being nonchalantly implied as a human birthday gift to a stranger is your karma for sending weird texts to your boss.

  Seokjin stays inside the car as he drops you off at the office after lunch, already preparing for his next business meeting. You nod your goodbye and step onto the pavement through the courteously held open door of the limousine.

“Y/N, try a soft pink. Fuchsia is not your colour,” he tells you as the door is closed.  

He then leaves you standing in front of the large office doors, staring at your chipped, week-old purple toenails.

... 

“I’m not exactly expecting a package in the mail or a dress laid out on the hotel bed – ”

“You guys are staying at a hotel?” Taehyung says over the phone.

  You are standing in your bedroom, an hour before when Seokjin is supposed to pick you up as an offering to his best friend. There are two dresses laid out on your Hello Kitty bed covers: a simple black dress you had worn once when you were a little bit more in shape and your prom dress.

  “No, I’m at home. But I mean, let me play into this movie metaphor.”

  “You suck at metaphors.”

  You have your phone propped up on some pillows so that you can see Taehyung as you debate your fashion decision. He is in a relaxed white tee, hair messily framing his face after a shower and a bowl of popcorn in his hands. You watch as a droplet of water runs down his face from his still-wet hair. He nonchalantly licks it off from the side of his mouth.

  “As I was saying, it wouldn’t hurt to get me something. He made it seem like it was a big deal. Like doesn’t the male lead usually surprise the female lead with a big bouquet of flowers and this over-the-top expensive dress which she wears and makes the male lead fall head over heels in love with her?”

  He chews silently on a kernel then probes, “You want Mr. Kim to fall in love with you?”

  “No,” you hastily correct, “It’s a metaphor. I think you’re the one who sucks at metaphors.”

  There is a beep on your phone to indicate you have another incoming call.

  “Tae, I’m going to have to call you back. My brother’s calling me,” you tell him. The black dress; your old prom dress is way too early 2000s. Black never hurts.

  “Okay. Have fun tonight. Pretend that it’s your birthday party. And then I’ll meet you for brunch tomorrow, my treat? You can tell me all about it,” he says. “Also the black. You look cute in that one.”

  “My party if I was 30, rich and successful. Oh wait, I’ll have one thing in common soon; that’s a start. Thanks though. I’ll call you tomorrow morning once I get up,” you say, then switch the call over to your brother. You had missed the flush of his cheeks as you busily swipe your phone.

Sticking the prom dress back into your closet, you rummage around the meager display of shoeboxes for a pair of high heels.

  “Hey, Jimin,” you greet over the phone.

  “Jesus, I do not need to be accosted by my half-naked sister,” he yells over the phone.

  You turn rapidly, seeing that you had accidentally continued a video call from when you had hung up on Taehyung. You throw a pillow over the camera in your haste to cover yourself up.

  “I was going to ask why you’re dressed like that but on second thought, I think I’ll leave your sexual exploits as your own secret.”

  Despite how disturbed you feel about this comment, his cheerful voice makes you smile.

  “So little sis, the weekend before the big three-oh!”

  “Please stop reminding me.”

  “Where do you want to meet tonight? I just got off the plane, but I can be ready to meet in about an hour. I booked a hotel close to the airport.”

  Shit. You forgot to tell Jimin. These heels will have to do.

  “Um… I, uh…”

  “What?”

  You clear your throat and begin to undress in front of the mirror. You have a sudden conscious thought that the dusty treadmill in your living room seems to be staring daggers at your back. 

  “I’ve got plans tonight.”

  “Plans? I wasn’t even aware you had friends here.”

  “Ouch, Jimin. But yes, I have friends. In fact, I am meeting a friend for brunch tomorrow if you want to join. I’m sure he’ll be okay with it.”

  “He?” Jimin repeats, “Should I put on my big brother boxing gloves? Give him a good talking to in case he’s interested in my baby sister?” Pause. “Was that who you were calling before?”  

You bite your answer back, not feeling the need to go down that rabbit hole.

  “He’s just a friend; A co-worker really,” you say, “He’s also unavailable. And before you suggest anything, his goalkeeper is technically one of my bosses so I do not want to try and shoot past her thank you very much.”

  Jimin laughs. “I wasn’t going to suggest anything. Well if you’re busy tonight, tomorrow morning works for me. Give me a call. I’ll spend the night in watching some good ol’ Netflix and enjoy this vacation time.”

  “Sorry again,” you apologize.

  “Go out and have fun,” he says, “You deserve it.”

  The two of you finish off the call with the usual goodbyes. You have forty-five minutes to dress the part of a sparkly birthday surprise for the co-founder of the company you work for. Throwing on your favourite throwback music, you get to work.

  Once satisfied, you snap a picture and sending it to Taehyung making special care that you have picked the right individual this time.

... 

The mansion is bigger than you could have ever imagined, and the amount of people present are…

  “You’re telling me I can do whatever I want tonight,” you ask Seokjin in the car.

  There is no denying that Seokjin knows how to dress for an event. In a velvety black and white suit, contrasted by his blonde hair which he has elected to temporarily dye for the evening, he looks very much the posh CEO magazines brand him out to be. You are glad you elected for the simple black dress as standing beside this Renaissance statue in a floral pastel yellow dress would be like planting dandelions in Kanye’s sculpture garden (if he ever wanted one).

  “The majority of people won’t recognize you after tonight. They’ll also be too drunk to even register anything you tell them,” Seokjin says.

  He cannot believe that you chose a simple black dress. Did you really not own anything remotely feminine besides the most generic clubbing outfit? Even if you had wanted to make an appearance as a hooker, at least make it an expensive-looking one. Maybe he should have bought you that Versace dress he spotted in the window the other day. Instead…

  “Take this. Your earrings are too gaudy for this event.”

  You touch the sparkly black cats you have put into your ears. Their eyes are made of crystal, and you thought it looked quite fetching in the light. Opening up the box, you see a dainty elegant pair of teardrop earrings that may or may not be of real diamonds.

  “Only Junho will know who you really are and then you can enjoy the rest of your night. I don’t want you to feel like you’re being held here against your will.”

  Putting them on, you note that even this simple change in attire has elevated the entirety of your presence. You felt as luxurious as this gift.

  “Thanks, Seokjin,” you try the first name basis he had insisted upon for this evening, “Not going to lie, I had imagined that maybe you’d send me a dress in the mail or something, but this is still very nice.”

  He snorts and rolls his eyes. “Like in the movies? Please, I run a start-up company. I’m not a millionaire and I don’t think you would appreciate my handouts.”

  You don’t respond, making your second note of the night on the Prada label on the cuff of his suit. “To clarify, I don’t introduce myself as your plus-one tonight.”

  “No. I don’t want you associated with me,” he curtly states. He watches as your smirk twitches and he hits himself mentally in the head again. “It’s to protect you. There are bound to be tons of paparazzi tonight at a party as big as this. I don’t want you to find yourself in the tabloids tomorrow morning. Just be smart.”

  The car pulls to a stop after inching its way up to the front door. People mill about outside in extravagant brands, holding glasses of champagne. The man of the hour is somewhere inside the building, charming his way into new business deals as well as making new friends.

  “Stay close to me. You can leave after we meet Junho. It is his birthday after all,” Seokjin offers a hand as you step out of the car.

  You take it, looping yourself into him so that your hand rests on his forearm. You are only 13 days younger than Junho, and yet this striking contrast in lifestyle hits you like a landslide while the two of you walk up the stairs and into the mansion.

  Inside, it is dim with disco lights flashing to the beat of amped party music. Upon entrance, the two of you are offered glasses of liquor (you take a swirling iridescent drink) to which you are then ushered to where the birthday boy lounges.

  Junho has an even more youthful face than Seokjin does. Where Seokjin’s features exude class and charm, Junho appears mischievous and looks to have stepped out of every girl’s bad boy dream.

  You stop Seokjin with a tug and make him look at you. “Tell me: do I look like a passable birthday offering?”

  Seokjin rolls his eyes and pulls you along with him.

  “Jin!” Junho hollers loudly across the room when spotting his oldest friend. There is a doll-like female magnetized to his side. “This is Clara, my date for the evening.”

  Seokjin shakes her hand and greets them. The female cannot seem to pry her eyes away from this handsome new stranger. He introduces himself chivalrously to her as Junho sides up to you and grips your hands in his. His breath smells strongly of mixed drinks, and you know that in about fifteen minutes the entire night will be a blur for him.

  “You must be Y/N!” he says excitedly, “Jin didn’t tell me that you were coming! What a surprise!”

  “I am,” you greet back with a large smile. “Although I’m also surprised. Seokjin told me that you had insisted I came.”

  Seokjin grits his teeth, annoyed at Junho. Would he ever learn when to keep his big mouth closed?

Laughing loudly, Junho grabs two drinks just as a waiter passes by and hands them to you. “Insist might be a strong word,” he says, drilling another hole unknowingly, “I honestly thought I’d have to play part-time wingman tonight. But I’m glad he’s got someone by his side.” He jabs you a little too hard in the ribs. “Next week’s gala is going to be fun! Okay, now there’s only one rule tonight: there are no rules!”

  The four of you clink your glasses together, while you do your best to hide an embarrassed smile on behalf of the birthday boy.

  “You bet I’m going around as your trophy wife tonight,” you whisper in Seokjin’s ear when Junho looks away.

  He whirls around to look at you, the tip of both your noses impossibly close together. He can taste the acidity of the wine when you breath out with a wicked smile. He barely has time to stop you as you peel yourself away to mingle with the crowds.

  Seokjin is about to follow you but Junho pulls him away, flamboyantly introducing his handsome best friend to a group of international models. He turns on his brightest smile, but his heart thunders in his chest at you calling yourself his wife.

... 

You twirl around in your dress, nobody noticing the small splash of champagne on the front of it in the quickly changing lights.

  “He bought this for me last week. Says it reminds him of the first night we met. Our eyes met across the waters in Tuscany where he was on a business trip. I’ll let you on a little secret, but I was his mistress for a little while.”

  Seokjin cannot make out the words you are saying to a small but growing group of people around you. He stands across from Junho, but looks over the latter’s shoulders to watch as you do another spin.

  “A little while, Charlotte? Are you still his mistress?” an older lady with an exuberant amount of jewels hanging off her body whispers with a keen interest in your expertly spun story.

  Charlotte Dior Laurent, an identity you are pretty sure is an amalgamation of French brands from the top of your mind. You continue to personify this character however.

“Don’t worry. He’s left her since. I know I know, my friends all say the same. ‘He’s already been divorced three times. How can you be sure he won’t leave you?’”

  At this point, you are in way over your head at having told this story to at least two other groups and a multitude of other renditions to whomever you have met tonight. But there is something powerful about liquid courage as it courses through your body.

  The lady lays a hand on your arm. “I don’t want your heart to break. You are still young.”

  Looking up between the heads of your audience, you catch Seokjin’s eyes. They are fiery and it sends a strange sensation up your toes to your abdomen. You give a titillating wave at him in which he does not return.

“He says I’m special and different. How can you say no to that?” you exclaim with exasperation, fully committing to the poor damsel just oh-so in love.

  There is a look of genuine concern on the lady’s face at your statement.

  Before you can dig yourself a deeper hole, you place your empty glass on the table and excuse yourself. You do not know if it’s the drinking on a relatively empty stomach or if the room is really much warmer due to the multitude of bodies, but you head out to the balcony.

  On your way out, you notice that the clock reads twenty minutes past midnight. This gives you a shock at how fast time has passed. Perhaps you should go find Seokjin if you are to get a decent amount of sleep before meeting with Taehyung and Jimin tomorrow. Speaking of Taehyung…

  You pull out your phone and see that there are two unread messages. The first is from Jimin, confirming that he is indeed invited to brunch tomorrow morning. The second is a response from Taehyung.

  11:09pm “Wow. You have me a little lost for words. I had imagined you’d look nice in the dress but… You really are beautiful.”

  Smiling, you type in your response.

  12:21am “Thanks, Tae. You’re up late.” You take a picture of the earrings Seokjin had gifted you and attach it to the message. “What do you think of these?”

Barely have you returned your phone into your bag when it buzzes again. This time you receive an attached image. Taehyung seems to be sitting in front of a monitor, as his face glows with a blue light and contorted into a pensive furrow of his brows.

  12:21am “A little different from your usual style. Are they new? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear those.”

  12:21am “Fei’s out with some friends tonight. She likes when I wait for her to come back before I sleep. To make sure she’s safe, I guess.”

  12:22am “Pooey. I should’ve brought you as my plus-one 😩. Also, Seokjin bought them for me for tonight. He says my other earrings are too gaudy.”

  12:24am “First name basis 🙃”

  12:25am “How is your night going? Having fun?”

  You are about give Taehyung a call for a detailed recounting of tonight’s escapades when someone speaks out from within the shadows.

  “A penny for your thoughts?” He walks into the moonlight. You flush, meeting the eyes of this particularly dashing gentleman, the phonecall immediately forgotten.

  Oh, Alcohol, you make even the smartest of people do dumb shit. And right now, your effects are even worse on this idiot.

  Your mouth hangs slightly open as you watch him puff out smoke from his cigar and offer it to you. He brushes up beside you, his fingers trailing up your hand which grips the balcony. You cannot seem to break away from his gaze.

  “Lung cancer has an increasing incidence rate particularly for females due to smoking. Are you sure you want to be condoning this type of behaviour?” Seokjin interjects himself between you and your Tuxedo Mask, pushing the outstretched cigar back towards its owner.

  There is a small stare down amongst the two men before the latter quietly exits the stage. Your eyes continue to linger on him even as he walks towards another female alone in the night enjoying the outdoor breeze.

  “You’ve just ruined by chance. I could have seduced then blackmailed him with the story of his illegitimate child to play Black Widow,” you whine.

  Seokjin takes the glass that had somehow magically appeared in your hand during the short walk from inside to outside on the balcony.

  “How many have you had since we came?” he asks.

  You sigh wistfully, still in your dangerous daydream. “I don’t know. I’ve lost count.” You turn your attention back to him eventually. “What are you doing here? Did you see me with him and get all jealous, hubby?” you tease.

  He scoffs, drinking from your glass and pulling a face. Once again, there is that twist and jump within his chest, but he attributes it to whatever nasty concoction he had just ingested. He pours its contents over the railing and into whatever shrubbery lies below. “You seriously went with being my trophy wife?”

  You shrug. “Of sorts. You’d better be right about people being too drunk slash not caring about me enough after tonight to remember the things I’ve said. ‘Cuz you’ve been divorced three times, had me along with another as your mistress, I think you’ve sired a few illegitimate children and all in all, a Games of Throne life. Damn, maybe I made you a little too badass.”

  “You’re having water for the rest of the night,” he says.

  You glare at him, contemplating on making a remark about his equally flushed face but decide against it. Instead, you lean onto the balcony and give a cat stretch. A large sigh escapes from you.

  Wordlessly, he shakes off his jacket and places it around your shoulder all the while averting his gaze on the unblemished skin of your upper thighs that had been exposed from your previous movement.

  Your blood feels like liquid fire coursing through your veins. Feeling overheated even in the evening breeze, you give him back his jacket. You note his reluctance to meet you even as you throw what could be a thousand dollar jacket in the air to him. “So what’s it like to live like this every day?” you say in wonder. You feel said breeze return and lean over the balcony to catch its chill.

  “Like what?” he asks. The warm summer night’s breeze blows through, settling his hair in a childish tousle.

  “Like rich,” you say. You sigh again. “Believe it or not, I’m the same age as your birthday boy best friend.

  And everything feels absolutely unreal right now. If I hadn’t agreed to come here tonight with you, I’d probably be at another dingy bar knocking back shots with my brother and friend.”

  “Are you a secret alcoholic?”

  You glare at him. “No,” you state matter-of-factly. “As I was trying to share, this type of lifestyle is something I could ever only imagine. I’m not ungrateful about spending time with them, but at the end of the night I’d go home, sweaty, drunk and gross, and then simply pass out. My bank account might be a couple hundred bucks lighter. Come Monday I’ll be working my ass off just to earn back what I had spent. Then cue the repeating cycle.”

  Resting your chin on your palm, your other hand sweeps your hair back behind your ear.

  “It’s amazing the difference a few life choices can have.”

  Seokjin remains silent beside you. Truthfully, he is at a loss of words. The moonlight plays across your face and caresses your nose down to your lips. You are arching your back once again to pull away the soreness that comes with wearing high heel the entire night. It is just a simple black dress but on you it made you look –

  “Well, you’re Mrs. Kim tonight,” he starts.

  “Charlotte Dior Laurent,” you correct him.

  He raises an eyebrow. “Okay… Ms. Charlotte Dior Laurent. Tonight you get to live like the rich, as you’ve put it. As a rich person, what would you like to do?”

  You ponder his question a few moments for the answer. “Hmm…I think I’d like to play golf. It’s a rich person’s sport. I want to play it on a private golf course, wearing cute golfing outfits and talk about million-dollar deals with a client without a care in the world. I want to order sangria by the gallon.”

  He laughs out loud. It takes a while for him to be able to speak again, but when he does you feel as if the night has been illuminated a few degrees brighter. “I personally don’t have a private golf course, but Junho does here in his backyard if you’re up for it. I can’t promise cute golfing outfits so you’ll have to do with your wine stained dress. And if you’re really up for it I can pretend to make business deals with you, that’s my job anyways.”

  You grin, taking the hand he has offered you. “Call.” The two of you shake upon his suggestion.

As he is leads you by the hand towards the dim gates of said golf course, you tug at him gently. “There’s something missing…” you say.

  He shakes his head and pulls you back in towards the party room. 

“I’ll see what they have at the bar.”

... 

As the hands of the clock continue to spin past another hour, the summer night takes a chilly turn. Seokjin has lent you his jacket but even that cannot stop your fingers from becoming numb. Your hands shake even as they tightly hold the golf club. Seokjin watches you in silence as you prepare to hit the golf ball, a beer in one hand and a few opened bottles littered on the grass beside him. The club hits the ball with a resounding “cling” but does little in propelling it a few centimeters.

  “This one doesn’t count,” you announce, “It’s too dark to see anything here.”

  Seokjin takes a swig as you readjust your position. You sway in the wind and the last tendrils of your hair come undone in its half up half down hairdo. Your hair now whips wildly around your face when another gust blows through.

  “Shit!” you exclaim, missing the ball again. “Why is golfing so hard?!”

  You throw your club down and trudge to Seokjin. The six pack the two of you had been sharing has officially been depleted. Seokjin offers you his half empty bottle. This time, you are the one watching as he goes to your spot and effortlessly swings his target into the darkness.

  He smirks from the spot.

  You grumble. “You’ve had years of practice. Not fair.”

  “You’ve got to do better than that, Mrs. Johnson,” he says, teasing you.

  Your grumble becomes more audible. You place the now empty bottle on the ground and cross your arms against your chest. Since telling him of your other American alias from tonight, he has not ceased to remind you of your strange choice of name.

  “Just so you know, Mrs. Johnson can afford both an affair and the consequential prenup,” you huff.

  “It’s still a stupid last name.”

  “It’s an American multinational corporation with an income in the billions, okay?”

  “Keep telling yourself that if it makes you sleep better at night. Now come on, I’ve got one last ball. Take a swing.”

  Groaning, you shuffle over. You wish you had not suggested golf. You had never been good at sports anyways – bad hand-eye coordination.

  He stands beside you this time, scrutinizing your every movement with hawk-like eyes. “No, not like that,” he says, “Have a wider stance and bend your knees. Better centre of gravity gives you a better swing. Also hold it with a neutral grip.”

  You readjust your positioning following his instructions.

  “Index finger down the center. Good. And three knuckles on each hand. No, that’s two. Okay your hands are just weird now. Three. I said three.”

  “Stop standing there and show me then, Mr. Know-It-All,” you say, your patience in this makeshift lesson also coming to an end.

  He walks closer to you, reaching out for the golf club. He retracts his hands in seeing that you have yet to let go. “You got to – ”

“You can touch me. I did tell you that Mrs. Johnson can afford an affair and prenup. Besides, I’m not going to be able to learn anything if I can’t even see you in this dark.”

  He comes behind you and puts a foot between yours to guide your stance. Wrapping his arms around you, he fixes the placement of your hands to grip the shaft of the club in the way he had previously instructed.

  Perhaps it is the mixture of wine, champagne and beer offered tonight, but being enveloped in the warmth of this embrace intoxicates you. The tingles that are sent down from his soft breathing on the base of your neck, make you shake like a leaf in the wind.

He inhales the sweet undertones of your perfume. The tendrils of your hair brush against his collarbone, sending a sensual kiss onto his skin. Unconsciously, he draws you closer to him, shielding you from another gust.

“Now you just want to swing,” he says, the words a mixture of a whisper and guttural grunt. His chest rumbles with it, passing the vibration through to your back.

  You remain as still as a statue and lean ever so slightly back into him until your entire backside is pressed upon him.

  You can’t stop yourself as you ask him, “Do you want to have sex with me?”

...

[kcrabb88]

Queer Movies/Books/TV Shows for Pride Month!

Happy Pride everyone!! For your viewing/reading pleasure I have made a (non-exhaustive) list of queer media that I have enjoyed! 

Movies/Documentaries

Pride (2014): An old tried and true favorite, which meets at the intersection of queer and workers’ rights. A group of queer activists support the 1985 miners’ strike in Wales (complete with a sing-through of Bread and Roses + Power in a Union)

Portrait of a Lady on Fire: On an isolated island in Brittany at the end of the eighteenth century, a female painter is obliged to paint a wedding portrait of a young woman (or, two young lesbians fall in love by the sea, and you cry)

God’s Own Country: Young farmer Johnny Saxby numbs his daily frustrations with binge drinking and casual sex, until the arrival of a Romanian migrant worker for lambing season ignites an intense relationship that sets Johnny on a new path (Seriously this movie is GREAT and doesn’t get enough love, watch it! It’s rough but ends happily)

The Half of It:  When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn't expect to become his friend - or fall for his crush (as in she falls for his crush who is another girl. This movie was so good, and really friendship focused!) 

Saving Face:  A Chinese-American lesbian and her traditionalist mother are reluctant to go public with secret loves that clash against cultural expectations (this is an oldie and a goodie, with a happy ending!)

Moonlight:  A young African-American man grapples with his identity and sexuality while experiencing the everyday struggles of childhood, adolescence, and burgeoning adulthood (featuring gay men of color!)

Carol:  An aspiring photographer develops an intimate relationship with an older woman in 1950s New York (everyone’s seen this I think, but I couldn’t not have it here)

Milk: The story of Harvey Milk and his struggles as an American gay activist who fought for gay rights and became California's first openly gay elected official (the speech at the end of this made me cry. Warning, of course, for death, if you don’t know about Harvey Milk)

Pride (Hulu Documentary):  A six-part documentary series chronicling the fight for LGBTQ civil rights in America (they go by decade from the 50s-2000s, and there is a lot of great trans inclusion in this)

Paris is Burning (Documentary): A 1990s documentary about the African American and Latinx ballroom scene. Available on Youtube!

A New York Christmas Wedding:  As her Christmas Eve wedding draws near, Jennifer is visited by an angel and shown what could have been if she hadn't denied her true feelings for her childhood best friend (this movie is SO CUTE. It’s really only nominally a Christmas movie and easily watched anytime. Features an interracial sapphic couple!) 

TV Shows 

Love, Victor: Victor is a new student at Creekwood High School on his own journey of self-discovery, facing challenges at home, adjusting to a new city, and struggling with his sexual orientation (this is a spin-off of Love, Simon, and it’s very sweet and well done! Featuring a young gay man of color)

Sex Education:  A teenage boy with a sex therapist mother teams up with a high school classmate to set up an underground sex therapy clinic at school (this has multiple queer characters, including a featured young Black gay man and also in season 2 there is a side ace character!) 

Black Sails: I mean, do I even need to put a summary here? If you follow me you know that Black Sails is full of queer pirates, just queers everywhere.

Gentleman Jack:  A dramatization of the life of LGBTQ+ trailblazer, voracious learner and cryptic diarist Anne Lister, who returns to Halifax, West Yorkshire in 1832, determined to transform the fate of her faded ancestral home Shibden Hall (Period drama lesbians!!! A title sequence  that will make you gay just by watching!) 

Tales of the City (2019):  A middle-aged Mary Ann returns to San Francisco and reunites with the eccentric friends she left behind. "Tales of the City" focuses primarily on the people who live in a boardinghouse turned apartment complex owned by Anna Madrigal at 28 Barbary Lane, all of whom quickly become part of what Maupin coined a "logical family". It's no longer a secret that Mrs. Madrigal is transgender. Instead, she is haunted by something from her past that has long been too painful to share (this is based on a book series and it’s got lots of great inter-generational queer relationships!) 

The Haunting of Bly Manor:  After an au pair’s tragic death, Henry hires a young American nanny to care for his orphaned niece and nephew who reside at Bly Manor with the chef Owen, groundskeeper Jamie and housekeeper, Mrs. Grose (sweet, tender, wonderful lesbians. A bittersweet ending but this show is so so wonderful)

Sense8: A group of people around the world are suddenly linked mentally, and must find a way to survive being hunted by those who see them as a threat to the world's order (queers just EVERYWHERE in this show, of all kinds)

Books

Loveless by Alice Oseman:  Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush – but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she’s sure she’ll find her person one day. This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn’t limited to romance (don’t be turned off by this title, it’s tongue-in-cheek. This is a book about an aroace college girl discovering herself and centers the importance and power of platonic relationships! I have it on my TBR and have heard great things)

Detransition, Baby by Torrey Peters: Reese almost had it all: a loving relationship with Amy, an apartment in New York City, a job she didn't hate. She had scraped together what previous generations of trans women could only dream of: a life of mundane, bourgeois comforts. The only thing missing was a child. But then her girlfriend, Amy, detransitioned and became Ames, and everything fell apart. Now Reese is caught in a self-destructive pattern: avoiding her loneliness by sleeping with married men.Ames isn't happy either. He thought detransitioning to live as a man would make life easier, but that decision cost him his relationship with Reese—and losing her meant losing his only family. Even though their romance is over, he longs to find a way back to her. When Ames's boss and lover, Katrina, reveals that she's pregnant with his baby—and that she's not sure whether she wants to keep it—Ames wonders if this is the chance he's been waiting for. Could the three of them form some kind of unconventional family—and raise the baby together?This provocative debut is about what happens at the emotional, messy, vulnerable corners of womanhood that platitudes and good intentions can't reach. Torrey Peters brilliantly and fearlessly navigates the most dangerous taboos around gender, sex, and relationships, gifting us a thrillingly original, witty, and deeply moving novel (again, don’t be thrown off by the title, it too, is tongue-in-cheek. This book was GREAT, and written by a trans women with a queer-and especially trans--audience in mind)

A Tip for the Hangman by Allison Epstein: A gay Christopher Marlowe, at Cambridge and trying to become England’s best new playwright, finds himself wrapped up in royal espionage schemes while also falling in love (this book is by a Twitter friend of mine, and it is a wonderful historical thriller with a gay man at the center).

Creatures of Will and Temper by Molly Tanzer: a very very queer remix of The Picture of Dorian Gray (which was already quite queer), featuring amazing female characters, a gay Basil, and a much happier ending than the original. 

Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston: The gay prince of England and the bisexual, biracial first son of the president fall in love (think an AU of 2016 where a woman becomes president). Featuring a fantastic discovery of bisexuality, ruminations on grief, and just a truly astonishing book. One of my favorites!

One Last Stop by Casey McQuiston:  For cynical twenty-three-year-old August, moving to New York City is supposed to prove her right: that things like magic and cinematic love stories don’t exist, and the only smart way to go through life is alone. She can’t imagine how waiting tables at a 24-hour pancake diner and moving in with too many weird roommates could possibly change that. And there’s certainly no chance of her subway commute being anything more than a daily trudge through boredom and electrical failures. But then, there’s this gorgeous girl on the train (This is Casey McQuiston’s brand new novel featuring time-travel, queer women, and I absolutely cannot WAIT to read it)

The Heiress by Molly Greely: Set in the Pride and Prejudice universe, this takes on Anne de Bourg (Lady Catherine’s daughter), and makes her queer! 

Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters:  Nan King, an oyster girl, is captivated by the music hall phenomenon Kitty Butler, a male impersonator extraordinaire treading the boards in Canterbury. Through a friend at the box office, Nan manages to visit all her shows and finally meet her heroine. Soon after, she becomes Kitty's dresser and the two head for the bright lights of Leicester Square where they begin a glittering career as music-hall stars in an all-singing and dancing double act. At the same time, behind closed doors, they admit their attraction to each other and their affair begins (Sarah Waters is the queen of historical lesbians. All of her books are good, and they’re all gay! The Paying Guests is another great one)

(On a side note re: queer books, there are MANY, these are just ones I’ve read more recently. Also there are a lot of indie/self-published writers doing great work writing queer books, so definitely support your local indie authors!)