#I’ve made this joke before but this is so accurate right now that it needs to be said again

[thirtysomethingloser92]

Bitter Sweet Symphony

Summary: When reader finds out she's pregnant, she quickly realises the only person who's truly there for her isn't the father of her baby, but in fact her partner; Sonny Carisi. Slow-burn, angst, friends to lovers. Chapter 1: Unforseen Circumstances.

“I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you,”

The bar was quiet but those words spoken by the man in front of you was the loudest thing you’ve ever heard. You watched as he scoffed slightly, gave a small smile and looked into the brown liquid in front of him, “I mean it, I thought I’ve loved people before but you,” He finally looked up and met your eyes, “I love you. With every part of my heart,” A smile broke out on your face, “Awh Rafael, I never knew you to be such a sap,” You joked, bumping your knee into the ADA’s own, “But I love you too,”

“Come on, pick up, please pick up,” You whispered as you sat on the white tiled floor. Your back against the cubicle door, facing the porcelain toilet in front of you. The phone once again diverted to message bank and you could have screamed. You felt the frustration build up in your chest as you felt the lump in your throat grow. Your call list showed the same phone number repeated every minute for what seemed like a lifetime, but your clock showed it was only twenty. The small device laying on the ground beside you made the lump grow thicker, it felt like you couldn’t breathe. You were so tired, your heart was about to jump out of your chest. Pregnant. 5+

You needed air, you needed to get out of the small cubicle and to think. You needed someone, you needed anyone. You needed him. “You in here?” You heard the familiar Staten Island voice call out. You had left your partner waiting by your desk with a rushed apology and an accidental shoulder bump. As the door creaked open, Sonny Carisi's eyes scanned the dimly lit restroom, searching for any sign of his missing colleague. His concern spiked as he spotted your figure huddled on the floor, phone abandoned beside you.

"Hey, what's wrong? What’s happened?" Sonny's voice was soft, laced with worry as he approached you cautiously. His heart sank at the sight of your distressed face, the anxiety evident in every line. For as long as he had known you, you had always had a strong façade. Whether it be in the face on a perp or a victim, you never showed your game face. He used to joke about being the poker champion due to him never being able to accurately guess how you were feeling but now as you looked up at him, eyes red-rimmed and swollen, and in that moment, he knew something was dangerously wrong. Without hesitation, Sonny dropped to his knees beside you, his hand reaching out to gently grasp yours.

"I've been trying to reach him," You choked out, your voice thick with emotion. "But he's not answering. I don't know what to do, Sonny,” Your throat tightened again, the panic bubbling in your chest, “I can’t do this without him, I don’t know what to do.” Sonny could see the tears well up in your eyes as you placed your face in your hands, trying to hold back the inevitable tears that were about to start flowing down your face. “Wha-what do you mean? What’s wrong?” He asked, his hand moving to your back, starting to rub small circles on it. His eyes drifted down to where the pregnancy test sat, his eyes widening slightly at the words written on it. “I’m pregnant and I don’t know what to do,” You sobbed out.

Sonny's heart clenched at the desperation in your tone. He knew who you were referring to, knew the significance of those unanswered calls. Rafael Barba, the man you loved, the father of your unborn child.

"Hey, hey," Sonny murmured soothingly, wrapping his arms around you in a comforting embrace. "We'll figure this out, okay? We can sort this out. We can sort everything out, But right now, let's get you off this floor and somewhere a bit more comfortable."

With Sonny's help, you rose unsteadily to your feet, leaning heavily against him for support. As you exited the restroom, Sonny kept a reassuring arm around your shoulders, guiding you back to your desk where your belongings lay forgotten.

"I'll drive you home," Sonny offered quietly, his gaze filled with unwavering support. "Or wherever you need to go. I’ll let Liv know you’re not feeling too well and I’m taking you home."

You nodded gratefully, feeling a rush of gratitude for your friend's unwavering presence in this moment of crisis.  As you gathered your things, you couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of fear and uncertainty that had settled over you like a suffocating blanket.

What if Rafael never answered your calls? What if he had left you alone to face this terrifying reality? It had been weeks since baby Drew and the trial, weeks since he had last seen you with a night of passion and a simple goodbye in the form of a kiss on the forehead, it had been weeks since you had even heard his voice. Was he avoiding you? Had you done something wrong? A part of you wondered if you should have reached out to his mother in case something had happened to him but another part of you screamed about how intrusive that was. You had only met the woman once in the short time you had been together.

The drive back to your apartment was a blur of city lights and distant sirens, the silence between you and Sonny heavy with unspoken words. You found solace in his silent companionship, his presence a source of comfort considering how your life had blown up with just one night. Your stomach was still in knots, still wondering what your plan was going to be. Were you going to keep it? Could you even be a mother? Could you handle pregnancy and all the pain you go through? Doubt seeped into your mind as you tried to think of yourself as a mother, could you put aside everything you’ve worked so hard to achieve for the sake of a tiny human?

When you finally arrived home, Sonny helped you inside, his steady hand on your lower back was a lifeline in the darkness. As you sank onto the couch, exhaustion washing over you like a tidal wave, Sonny hovered nearby, "I'll stay with you if you’d like," Sonny promised softly, his voice a soothing balm to your frayed nerves. "For as long as you need me. They don’t need me back at work just yet,” “What do I do Sonny?” You whispered as he came to sit next to you.

Sonny settled beside you, his presence a comforting weight in your life. He glanced at you with a mixture of concern and determination in his eyes, his brow furrowing slightly as he considered your question.

"We'll figure it out together," he said quietly, his voice steady despite the uncertainty clouding your thoughts. "First things first, you need to take care of yourself. I can make you some tea or grab you something to eat if you want. Then, we can talk about what you want to do next."

You nodded, grateful for his offer of support. As Sonny busied himself in the kitchen, you couldn't help but replay the events of the evening in your mind. Rafael's absence weighed heavily on your heart, leaving you with a gnawing sense of emptiness. You checked your phone once again, shoulders slumping slightly when the notifications remained the same as earlier. Your finger hovered over the call button, wondering if maybe he was just busy those few times but you knew, deep in your heart, that that wasn’t it at all. He was avoiding you all together. Sonny returned with a steaming mug of tea, placing it gently in your hands before taking a seat beside you once more. His expression softened with empathy when he saw you throwing your phone lazily on the table in front of you,  he reached out to squeeze your hand reassuringly, reminding you that even if Rafael wasn’t there, you at least had someone by your side.

"I just don't understand why he's not answering," you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper. "We were supposed to be in this together, he told me that he would always be there no matter what but now...I don't even know if he knows. I sent him a text with what’s going on but he hasn’t even seen it."

"I wish I had all the answers for you," he murmured, his voice tinged with regret. "But what I do know is that you're not alone in this. No matter what happens, I'll be here for you every step of the way. Doctors appointments, if you decide what you’re going to do, whether that be recovery or needing snacks at 3am you just ring me and I’ll be there. Always. "

Tears welled up in your eyes at his words, overwhelmed by the depth of his unwavering support. In that moment, you realized just how lucky you were to have someone like Sonny by your side, someone who would stand by you through the hardest moments of your life. At what first started as partners, with you mocking his moustache on his first day and him giving it back just as hard, to you now being each other’s confidants; you’d almost go so far as to say you were best friends. Almost.

"Thank you, Sonny," you whispered, your voice choked with emotion. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He offered you a small, understanding smile, his eyes filled with compassion. "You don't have to do this alone," he said firmly. "We'll do this together, I promise."

[kurishiri]

03 . . . the past records ˗ˏˋ🍎🪞´ˎ˗

— this translation may not be 100% accurate or may contain creative liberties. if you enjoy, please consider reblogging, but don’t repost or claim these as your own!

— cw: none.

Liam: Hearing Al say they played this game to decide whether he stayed by Lord Elbie’s side or died... it makes me wonder, does he really hate being by his side that much?

Roger: Haha, it’s nothing that serious. If he really hated staying by his side that much, he wouldn’t have just left it to something like luck. He would’ve taken it in his own hands.

Liam: Right? That’s what I was thinking.

Roger: He says stuff like ‘it’s a game of luck,’ but really he just wants a cover up.

Liam: So... if he doesn’t have an excuse, he can’t be together with him? But why?

Roger: ......Who knows.

Liam: Hmm... I feel like despite hearing the whole story, I still don’t know what’s the answer to that question that started it all.

L: Why is Al with Lord Elbie?

Roger: Word’s that when they met, they were both going through something that made it hard for them to be apart from each other.

R: And anything more about that is beyond me.

Liam: Hm...

L: You see, Al has been helping me satisfy my curiosity by indulging in my whims...

L: ...but he would really have gone and done something dangerous, if I asked for it, I feel like.

L: Like, he puts his life on the line just for a game of luck... so much so, I wouldn’t be surprised if we found his corpse tomorrow... I guess.

L: Oh, maybe he also has the ‘Cheshire Cat’s Curse’ like me?

Roger: ...If he did have such a Curse, maybe he would be able to be a part of others’ lives without feeling the need to keep up a pretense.

—— Perspective shift ——

Today’s mission for Crown was to pass judgment on the person who’s been illicitly making drugs, and to gather proof of their crime.

William and Harrison were to pass judgment,

while Alfons and Elbert were assigned to gather proof.

In a certain warehouse containing imported goods,

Alfons and Elbert were able to find the raw materials used to make that dangerous drug hidden within the very general spices.

They were carrying out their mission without a hitch——

when suddenly, several bullets shot through the air, piercing holes through the burlap bags piled high in a heap,

until the contents of the bags spilled on top of the two men.

Elbert: There’s an eyewitness... we have to go after them.

Alfons: Do you really have the luxury to say that when we’re in this state?

The two of them were buried in so much spice from the waist down, it was hard to laugh it off as any joke.

And Alfons let out a sigh as though he were fed up.

Alfons: This is William and Harry we’re talking about?

A: They won’t let a single one go alive, so it should be fine.

A: Anyhow, more importantly, I can’t help but feel an inkling that I’ve run into this smell before—

Elbert: ...! Al, over there, there are cats.

They had probably been hiding somewhere in the warehouse, but some stray cats had shown themselves, gathering around them.

Alfons: Ah, yes, I remember that spice’s scent now.

Elbert: ...?

Alfons: It’s cat powder.

While they were having an out-of-tune conversation, the two became surrounded by cats.

Alfons: Come now, don’t cozy up on your own quite yet. Why don’t you help us out?

A: I hope you know the reason you guys can indulge yourselves in cat powder is because of us?

A cat drew closer to Alfons as he petted it around its neck.

The cat purred in response, snuggling its body up to his palm.

Elbert: ...Hehe.

Alfons: Whatever is the matter, suddenly laughing like that? Don’t tell me you are on a cat powder high as well?

Elbert: It’s not that. It’s just... I was remembering how you dote on cats, even when you act more like one than the cats themselves.

Alfons: I’m afraid you have me ever so slightly lost with that train of thought...

Elbert: I mean, when I think you saved that cat who had trouble getting down,

E: you would push it away when it got too close.

E: And when I think you have petted it... you pretend you don’t know them...

E: And when they’re going through a hard time, you are there by their side... but then, when they’re not going through such times, you try your best to distance yourself.

Alfons: ...You are quite an observant one, aren’t you. So? Would you mind telling me why you look so happy then?

Elbert: Because... I think that side of you is wonderful, Al.

Alfons: ......Is this your attempt to woo me?

Elbert: ...? No, I didn’t mean to woo you.

Alfons: Yes, I knew that from the start, so please don’t take my words so earnestly.

A: ...Elbie, how would you like to play a little game with me?

Elbert: Game...?

Alfons pulled out a coin from his pocket, flipping it in the air with his finger.

Then, when the coin fell atop the back of his hand, he covered it with the other.

Elbert: I guess, I’ll bet tails then.

Alfons: And that leaves me with heads.

A: If it is tails, as you say, then I win. Otherwise, it’s yours.

Elbert: So, the one who guessed wrong wins... somehow, it feels like it should be the opposite.

Alfons: Well, you can think of it as playing with a ‘mirror’ that is myself. And so, that which is incorrect becomes the correct choice, and conversely, the correct choice becomes incorrect.

Elbert: What will you do if you win?

Alfons: Let’s see now...

A: I suppose, if I win, I will go on a journey to the edge of the world.

On the back of Alfons’ hand, the coin——showed heads.

Alfons: And once again, it is my loss.

A: Truly, when it comes to making the wrong choices, there is no one who can hold a candle to you.

A: ...I realize this is sorely belated, but is it alright if I ask you one question?

Elbert: ...What is it?

Alfons: The day we first met, when I suddenly appeared before you, what made you want to take me into the manor?

Elbert: ......

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full masterlist 🍎🪞

[kimbappykidding]

Dating TxT and them getting jealous of your friendship with a fellow idol

Yeonjun

Your companies had technically merged or more accurately Hybe had absorbed yours. You were excited about this because now you and Yeonjun would get more interactions and see each other more. However what Yeonjun wasn't prepared for was how close you were to other people in your company.

As a welcome, Hybe had arranged for all the groups to do some team-building exercises and basically just some fun activities for you to get to know one another. You and Yeonjun of course arrived together to find the room already full and Yeonjun spotted the guys from Seventeen right away. You were friends with Seventeen because you were from the same company and your groups had collabed a few times. So Yeonjun wasn't surprised when you nodded to the guys when you entered or that you sat near them. However he was a bit puzzled when you got in a group with Vernon, Joshua and Dino. You weren't alone, you had another member from your group with you but you'd definitely made a bee-line for those boys and they, you. He watched you laughing and chatting to them he realised he had no idea you were so close. He heard you chatting to Vernon and Joshua in English and felt a little insecure. While he was pretty much fluent he wasn't as comfortable speaking your home tongue as the two good-looking boys and he began to wonder if you liked them. Sure Joshua was a few years older but Vernon was the exact same age as you and good-looking. He watched as you both said the lyric of the same rap at the same time and rolled into fits of giggles and sighed. After the session Yeonjun waited for you as you'd agreed but you were having so much fun it was taking a while. You were still messing around with the guys from Seventeen, not realising Yeonjun was ready to go. Finally you saw him and your eyes widened. You realised he was waiting and mouthed sorry before telling the guys you were heading out. They nodded and said they'd walk you out which was a bit awkward as you stopped by Yeonjun. Then they realised you and Yeonjun were leaving together they all nodded to him. "So I'll see you guys tomorrow" you called and they all nodded. "Keep practising that toe touch y/n" Joshua joked and you smirked pushing him away. You had a big smile on your face and waved to them before turning to Yeonjun "you ready to go?". He nodded not trusting himself to speak just yet. You made it all the way to the car without talking and shut the door to an awkward silence. "Is something wrong?" you asked and Yeonjun shook his head "no not at all I...just didn't realise you were so close to the Seventeen members that's all". You paused unsure if Yeonjun was just pretending not to be mad at you. "Well yeah I've known them since I was a trainee" you said and Yeonjun nodded turning to you. He was smiling but you could see in his eyes he wasn't happy. "Yeonjun talk to me" you said gently touching his hand "if you're angry just tell me". Yeonjun shook his head "I'm not angry because I have no right to be. You did nothing wrong and you're allowed to have male friends...i'd never put sexist restrictions on you like that" he said and you nodded "but it upset you?". He sighed "I was a little jealous...seeing you close to other guys who speak English and are around your age...especially ones that are hotter than me". You quickly pulled Yeonjun in for a hug "Yeonjun! You have no reason to be jealous! Yes Joshua and Vernon know English too but that's nothing! I'd never leave you for them even if they knew all the languages in the world! As for them being hotter than you...well I think we need to have a frank talk about that too". Yeonjun paused "really? You prefer me to them?". "Of course I do!" you cried and Yeonjun sighed "I'm sorry, I'm being such an insecure mess when there was nothing to worry about". You shook your head "never apologise for having feelings! We all have our days where we feel like crap or don't love ourselves as much...that's totally fine! All you need to do is tell me when you're having one and I'll do my best to make you see how great you are. Okay?". Yeonjun smiled wondering how he could ever doubt you for a second. "Okay y/n".

Soobin 

TxT just had a new comeback and they were doing different dance collaborations with idols from other groups. Each member got a random idol and Soobin got Ateez's San. Immediately his stomach sank because of you. He remembered on Ateez's last stage how you'd praised San multiple times and even watched the performance back. You were a dancer and Soobin supposed that was why you admired San's performance so much but it didn't stop that nagging voice that told him it was more. So he was more than a little worried about being put beside the man he was sure you had a crush on. He of course knew San from his MC jobs but this was the first time they'd be alone together. San arrived and although things were awkward at first that soon melted away and were okay...but then you showed up. Soobin saw your text and rushed out of the room to stop you from coming into the dance studio. He found you in the corridor on your way to him. "Hey!" you smiled spotting him "I just thought I'd stop by and bring you some lunch". Soobin nodded taking it from you. He considered just saying goodbye but he could never bring himself to be rude to you and today was no different. "Thanks...do you want to come in by any chance?". You shook your head "no you're busy working so I don't want to bother you". Soobin shook his head "it's no bother we're just messing around at this point anyway" and he led you inside and to the practice room. "Hey San I've got food!" he called and San jumped up "awesome how did you..." when he trailed off seeing you. "Hi" you smiled waving a little "Soobin said it'd be fine if I came in and saw what you guys were doing" you explained and San nodded "yeah of course! Thank you so much for bringing the food it was really kind of you". You shook your head "it was no problem. I know Soobin doesn't eat properly unless you force him so figured I better help make sure this collab goes well. You're welcome by the way". San grinned at your joke and the two of you carried on chatting as if you'd known each other forever. You stayed for lunch and Soobin got quieter and quieter but neither you nor San seemed to notice. He was sure you were going to dump him for San, probably right after this but then San suggested they perform the routine for you. It was the last thing Soobin wanted to do but the staff all liked the idea and so Soobin stood up and did the routine. Straight away he noticed how your eyes started off in the middle but soon gravitated towards him. You were fixed on him and only him and the pride on your face was so obvious he felt better. Your support made him more confident and he started dancing harder. When the staff yelled cut they all cheered. "That was the best take all day!" the director called and then noticed how Soobin reacted when you hugged him "maybe y/n should come for everyone shooting, you seem to work well with her around". "Definitely" San agreed "you guys are a really cute couple". You smiled "we are but I can't take all the credit, Soobin's amazing and there's nothing he can't do". "You're being modest" Soobin said smiling down at you "it was all you". You blushed, a huge smile on your face and Soobin got that tingly feeling he always got when he thought about how much he loved you. He knew he had nothing to worry about.

Beomgyu 

Beomgyu had no problem with you doing a reel challenge with Haechan. He knew it would be good for your new song and he thought it looked great...until his members watched it. The challenge was a little goofy and you had to push one another at the start. Something about Haechan's pouting and exaggerated acting reminded Yeonjun of someone. "Hah this is just like you and y/n on an average evening" Yeonjun laughed watching you and Haechan fake fight. "What, no it isn't" Beomgyu said and Soobin smiled "you do act a little like this, you're very playful". "A little, come on you're both the exact same person" Yeonjun replied. "No we're not!" Beomgyu cried back "Haechan's loud and constantly teases his members". Everyone paused and Beomgyu hit them "I do not tease you! I'm literally the person being bullied right now". "If you say so" Yeonjun said smirking and all the members began to laugh at Beomgyu's pout. "Hey Haechan even pouts like that" Huening laughed and if that wasn't bad enough Taehyun added "well y/n clearly has a type". That was too much for Beomgyu. "What do you mean?" Beomgyu asked Taehyun who immediately began to panic from Beomgyu's tone. "Nothing it was just a joke..." Taehyun said and Soobin nodded "yeah he didn't mean anything by it". "No but I don't get it, what do you mean she's got a type". "He means she likes whiny idols who can't take a joke" Yeonjun said pushing him "and we're not the only ones to notice, didn't fan suspect they were dating when they got spotted together last year?". "Yes but that was a misunderstanding! Y/n explained they were only together because their members are dating and they took the fall now can we please drop this!". The members all shrugged and Soobin changed the subject. Despite Beongyu's confident exterior he wasn't the most secure and so he needed reassurance quite a lot. You could always tell when it was one of those moments because he'd get all quiet and thoughtful. After you caught him watching you for the third time during your movie night you sighed and took his hand "gyu what's wrong?". He shook his head "nothing". "Come on tell me" you said and he sighed "do you prefer Haechan to me?". You froze "what?". "Haechen from Nct, do you like him more than me?". You shook your head "of course not! Where is this coming from? Is it because i did that reel with him last week?". Beomgyu nodded "yeah I just got a little jealous and then the members were teasing me and pointed out how were quite similar. We're both loud emotional show-offs and were practically the same age! You can tell me the truth if you like him you know?". You laughed "Beomgyu I am! I agree there are some similarities but tons of differences and there's nobody like you in the world to me so no I don't wish you were Haechan". "Really?" Beomgyu asked with his adorable pouty expressions you nodded "really" and kissed him softly. Beomgyu melted into you and when you separated he buried his head in your neck with a happy noise. "Mine" he said playfully wrapping his arms around you and you laughed as he tugged you into his lap. However he had one thing right, you were his.

Taehyun 

When you found out you'd be MCing with BTS' Jungkook you were thrilled, having been a huge fan of BTS for a while. However, you interacting with Jungkook worried Taehyun because he knew your type. You liked guys that looked like him and considering the resemblance between Taehyun and Jungkook, this didn't bode well. Taehyun figured due to this resemblance on some level you must find Jungkook attractive. However Jungkook was richer, musclier and more successful than Taehyun. Literally an upgrade in Taehyun's mind so he couldn't stop panicking all day. Finally the moment arrived and you came on screen beside Jungkook. Taehyun wasn't particularly vocal with his worries. He tended to bury them so he could try and deal with them alone but you'd learnt to see through that. So when you got home after the show and he pushed down all those feelings, shooting you a big smile, you knew something was up straight away. "What's wrong?" you asked not even 5 steps inside. "Nothing" Taehyun said but you sighed "see but the way you said fine tells me it's not fine". Taehyun shook his head "it's nothing it's just me being silly"."i don't care if you're being silly. If you're unhappy I want to help". "But you can't fix it" Taehyu frowned. "No but maybe I can listen? That helps". Taehyun sighed loudly and sat down on the sofa so you sat beside him. "Look you don't have to tell me but I know you'll be stressing and that will make me stressed and we'll both be miserable" you explained. Taehyun shook his head "it's nothing really but I was just nervous about tonight with you MCing with Jungkook". You paused "why?". "Because I was scared you'd realise he's a better version of me and want an upgrade. Which you could totally do I mean everyone can see how beautiful and talented you are". You shook your head "wait hold up on what earth is Jungkook a better version of you?". "Don't humour me" Taehyun said "Jungkook is richer, more famous and better looking than me". "But I don't agree with any of that" you said "the rich and famous things don't matter to me but in my eyes you're better looking and more talented and nicer and the list goes on and on. I don't even think you look that alike because I know every inch of your face and so he doesn't even come close to you".

Taehyun looked at you and let out the breath he hadn't even realised he was holding. The thing he loved most about you was how sincere you were and he could tell you meant every word. "Told you it was silly" he said and you shook your head "not at all. Any worries you have are valid, thank you for sharing it with me. I really appreciate that". Taehyun blushed and you smiled "now how about we go get changed and cuddle up on the sofa and watch a movie?". Taehyun grinned "race you" and sprung down the hallway. All his previous worries safely gone thanks to you.

Heuning Kai 

Huening Kai knew you loved ice skating so for some reason when he found out Enhypen’s Sunghoon used to be a professional he got nervous. Sunghoon was pretty handsome and had a really cool personality. He was pretty similar to you in that respect and so Kai tried to stop you from finding out that he was a professional ice skater but Beomgyu didn't know that. It was as if the universe was working against him. You were asking how TxT's show with Enhypen had gone and ice skating had nearly come up 6 times! How? Ice skating wasn't something you all talked about that much but 6 times it almost had! Then just when the last scare had passed Beomgyu just straight up said "Sunghoon used to be a professional ice skater" and that was it. Huening saw the light in your eye and knew it was over. "That's so cool! Do you think he'd be willing to show me a few moves?" You asked. Huening paused "I'm not sure, we're not really that close...". "What are you talking about? We all voluntarily exchanged numbers" Beomgyu laughed ignoring Huening Kai's death stares. "Yeah but I don't think we're there friendship wise okay?" he said to Beomgyu who raised his hands in surrender. You changed the subject sensing Huening wasn't liking this but later on you decided to bring it up. "Hey so don't worry about Sunghoon, I can tell you don’t like him and I know you'd have a good reason so forget it yeah?". Kai paused "it's not that I don’t like him...he seems like a nice kid". You chuckled "isn't he the same age as you?". "Yeah so?" Huening asked getting angry again and you froze "I just meant...forget it" you shrugged and Huening sighed "I'm sorry just I'm a little insecure around him". "Insecure," you said surprised "why?". Huening frowned "because he seems like the perfect guy for you! He's an ice skater, your age, your type and he's handsome and cool...that's why I didn't want to introduce you. I know you've never met but I just had this image of you seeing him and ditching me". You hugged Huening Kai immediately "that's crazy! I don't care how good-looking this guy is or how good a skater he is there's no way I'd ditch him for you. You're the love of my life and you know that". Huening Kai blushed "yeah...I'm just being silly sorry". "No it's fine. I'm sorry you felt that way, do you feel a little better?". He nodded totally reassured by you "yes, thanks y/n...you're the love of my life too". You smiled happily and rested your head against his chest "how can a champion skater compete with that?" making him laugh. He had to agree with you, there was no way anyone was getting between you two anytime soon.

[hyperfixingfr]

big fan of your peacock design for Hoagie because idk maybe I’m reading too into it but the show making him a walrus (I think?? Been a while since I’ve seen the episode) just felt like a cheap and lazy “haha fat character” joke

It was actually worse than a walrus, it was a hippo! And yes, you're right. That was exactly the point of him being made a hippo. Big, fat, and hungry.

CW// a bit of some serious criticism of KNDs writing.

Hoagie was a comedic relief character who was supposed to be viewed as mock worthy material, no matter how much it extended to real life bigotry. One of the biggest flaws of the show is the mediocre at best writing. It had good jokes, but that all goes to shit the minute they use other people's harmless traits as a gag. Plus, they were horribly inconsistent. The treatment of Hoagie was horrible and I don't mean that in a, "ohhh no my favorite character is being bullied!" kind of way. That's not how you pick on a character unless you're also intending to give the character severe mental issues and self image problems, which never happened in canon beyond slight hints that he was merely anxious. Hoagie was always portrayed to be this completely oblivious and lacking of response character who you could freely pick on because he never felt bad about the way he was talked about. Not only is that completely unrealistic and taking away his character, but it's also implying that you can just... Say those things to people. And they won't feel a thing.

If Hoagie being mocked in those ways happened to be some sort of emotional arc, I would understand that. But the problem is that, it wasn't. Hardly anything came of it. He didn't even seem to flinch despite him being young and susceptible to a more difficult time handling emotions. A kid his age would be ruined with that kind of treatment. People who were treated like him at his age end up in places I shouldn't even mention right now. And they show clear signs of it. I know they do, because I was one of those kids. Yet, Hoagie really never budged beyond maybe a frown in the aftermath he'll hold for like... 5 seconds. Max. Suddenly, he's over it. Like he's a mature adult capable of handling feelings and understanding that they're wrong and why they're wrong. I wouldn't expect them to go ham on anything, but shit. At least a more accurate response, like keeping his head down and holding a frown the rest of the episode. No kid would hear the kind of bullshit he hears and experiences and does nothing. Children would cry, become sad, get angry. And he's not one to get angry, so it's kind of obvious what he'd do otherwise. Probably more likely to sit in silence than cry, but my point stands.

Absolutely horrible to have done what they did with their writing. Not only did they feed the flirty Asian girl stereotype and the chill motherly black girl stereotype, but they also enforced the idea that healthy but fat people are flawed for their completely normal body. The fat jokes weren't even funny. They could've made fat jokes without bringing down fat people.

And I don't even wanna hear the whole "but it was made in the 2000s" bullshit because I can name five shows that aired before KND with fat main characters that never, EVER made a harmful fat joke. There's a reason why Ed, Edd n Eddy was considered peak comedy and KND wasn't. Because Ed, Edd n Eddy never made derogatory and degrading jokes about completely harmless things like a person's body. And that's with Ed and Eddy being fat! It's pretty simple - the show just... Wasn't well written. The time period has little excuse considering how easily other shows had been funny without their weird mockery. And I'm telling you right now, KND definitely had at least a minor impact on how children viewed fat people. If they didn't provoke the thought in the children who watched, they enforced it with their jokes. Not exactly a great thing to have done.

If you need to put someone down to be funny, you aren't funny. Simple as that. Hoagie could have gotten so much more development if they were being more realistic. This is Sci-Fi, of course he'd still be a human with human reactions. And they could have done so much with it, too. It would have been nice for there to have been a plot relating to his struggle with bullying. I would've loved to see him develop his character... Hoagie and Kuki hardly developed like the others. And I'm reaching to say Abby did because it's far less than the other two.

And really, it sucks. I love seeing fandom interpretations of him because they try to take into account his true character. He's a sweet, nerdy boy who loves to use comedy to cheer himself and others up. He's the pinnacle of empathy development in children (excluding the, uh... Weird misogynistic stuff...). He's such a loveable character but the show really did their best to try and ruin him and his reputation.

Sorry for the long rant but it gave me an excuse to dish out this information. I don't think everyone realizes just how intentional the mockery of Hoagie was.

[abricktothehead]

character lore written down instead of living rent free in my head??? (it’s more likely than you think)

transcripts under the cut

First image (Saturday and Chimra):

>be me >be demon >species reproduces through mitosis, which carries over some memories >only memory from parent is of some weirdass caravan >caravan has only two people in it?? >probably some dealers >have no character motivation so decide to track them down >trail goes cold bc i have nothing to work off of >years later sleepin in some building hollow >feel something HUGE slam into the side >ohshitdragon.jpg >i look down >its the fucking caravan >not even dealers literally just alchemists >mfw

---

hey r u still awake u shed all over the specimens and now i need to redo everything take a shower before going into the room next time wench btw your feathers contain trace amounts of dragonjuice rotten hellspawn

Second image (Fizz and Chimra):

I(19/0F Ghost) want to talk to my roommate's(??NB Demon) friend(20/3F Ghost) but she's always wrapped up in her work. I get that afterlife goals are important and all, but she locks herself in her room for days on end, which doesn't seem all that healthy. I tried talking to her roommate, but his demonic is outside of my hearing range and my DSL isn't that good, so that was that. My friend says that she's always Like That and that it's apparently normal for ghosts. Do I just not know enough about living as a ghost yet?

---

hey r u still awake you left ur hat here again you know if you want to stay you can just ask right were leaving tomorrow but if u want to tag along let me know also lmk when you read this i need to let scrim know if were delaying

Third image (Fizz and Saturday):

I (19/2F Ghost) am being repeatedly lied to by my best friend (??NB Demon). I know they're just doing it as a joke, but I'm actually worried about this causing actual issues down the line. Like, I love them and all, but I can't shake the feeling something actually bad will happen, and it'll be all Boy who cried wolf, yknow? WIBTA if I tell them to knock it off?

---

>be me >be demon >find a ghost in the rubble while getting the fuck out of my exs place >she just woke up after dying >not ready for this at all holy shit >comes at me speaking english, i don't fucking know english >charades.jpg >somehow i get her to follow me out of the ruins before the weeds get her >no idea where to take her >suddenly remember that i have a ghost friend who can probably help >i get to her house >there's no fucking house >it takes a week to track her down bc she insists on not staying in one place >we finally get to her house >at this point me and the ghost have a bit of an understanding >she still does not know where were going >still following tho >my friend opens the door and asks wtf am I doing here >the new ghost looks confused >she doesn't know sign either >mfw

Fourth image (Fizz):

Hey, I just died. AMA!

Q: Yikes. Good luck OP, mine was real rough. What happened? A: Last thing I remember I was rushing home because it was starting to storm. Then there was this bright flash of light and I woke up here, so lightning strike probably?

Q: ,;,';;;',.';,.';'.;,'.;;'.? A: What?

Q: are you okay? Did someone find you? A: Some weird biblically accurate angel thing. I think they want me to follow them?

Q: op do you even know where you are A: Not in the slightest.

UPDATE: We made it to the place. There's some skeleton plant lady here, but she's trying to talk to me with all these weird hand gestures that definitely aren't sign language, or at least any I'm familiar with. Does anyone know what's going on here? Have I just been kidnapped?

UPDATE: Guys, I know what Hell and demons and ghosts and everything are now, I've gotten many many comments about them. Chill. Anyway, I can actually understand what people are saying now (for the most part) and apparently I just got picked up by some randoms. I don't think it's a good idea to contact a ghost resource center right now, turns out we're in a pretty isolated area and I apparently can't die twice, so I'll keep you all posted on how that works out.

UPDATE: Good news, everyone! I'm not racist anymore! Very sorry for anything I said that might have been disrespectful to demons, it was completely unintentional and I now know better. Anyway, I managed to get a place staying in the local caravan along with the demon who found me (thank you to everyone offering advice!) and I got in contact with the resident necrotherapist. I luckily wasn't too banged up by the dying process, just some weird teeth issues and some latent electricity. It hurts a bit to talk out loud, but I'll just need to get used to it.

Q: Glad to hear you're still doing alright, OP, but are you sure that's all deformationwise? Because the way you're describing it sounds wayyy less deformed than any ghost I've known, and as someone who works by the Tower that's saying something.

A:

Fifth image (Saturday):

>be me >be earthling demon baby >literally just a fucking limb with limbs and an eye bc my species reproduces by regrowth like a worm >i get picked up by the local specter >hes obsessed with biology or whatever >PUTS ME IN A FUCKING JAR >tries to raise me like im some kinda parrot or something >figure out how to squeeze out of the pipes >GTFO >end up getting got by child support >they have no idea what to do with me >get sent to some living household, they think i'm gross >they take me to hell for a trip >familiar as shit, food actually tastes like not chemicals >family jokes about everything being as weird as me >family jokes about just leaving me here >they are about to find out it's not a joke >GTFO >no house but food is literally everywhere and water is free >end up sticking with this one caravan >i meet someone >[THE INCIDENT] >i now have a crippling fear of dogs >i pick up a newly spawned ghost along the way >mfw we have 0 common languages >i teach her demonic and DSL and she teaches me english >we are now best friends >boy i sure hope nothing bad or tragic happens to me involving memories aha

[matan4il]

Good Morning!!! Hope your feeling well today and got good health news. We actually have rain here in CA today which makes everyone excited since we are in a never ending drought. I was just hoping to add something about Carla if you don't mind.

So narrative wise. I believe Carla has always been set up as Eddie's sounding board (especially about his family) but now it's being reinforced because who will he gay panic/I'm in love with my best friend with but her. She's especially perfect because she knows Buck. This isn't something he will fret with Buck about because it is about Buck. Also this was kind of alluded to when Eddie made the joke, Im only talking to Carla now about Chris teasing/kissing. It could have just been a joke or it could also be considered forshadowing. What do you call her the Buddie Godmother? Very accurate lol!!

Secondly IRL they portray Carla's characters place in Eddie's life very accurately. I'm not sure if it's truly their intent or if it's accidental. However they have always truly represented a special needs parent life for Eddie. I know Home Health Care Aides and I also know people that need them. We have some of the best social services in CA. They generally are a part of your family. They are involved so intimately with your family because they really are in the trenches with you.

I guess my point is on both fronts Carla's place in the storyline is spot on and also very accurate to how she has been there all along. That hasn't changed at all. Even when they wanted to show the sadness of the pandemic, it was by showing us she had to read to Christopher over zoom.

Thanks for letting me ramble!!! Sending you lots of love from all the way over here!!!

Hi darling! Thank you so much, I’m not great, but that’s more to do with work than health right now, I had to deal with two antisemites in the last two tours I’ve given and I am SO tired, I swear. I was entertaining quitting today (totally what I needed on the first eve of Hanukkah, too). And then one lady said a couple of kind words and I picked myself up and continued. Sometimes that’s all it takes, right? *hearts*

I agree with you so much that Carla demonstrates how home health care aides do integrate into families, and I think they always had that idea in mind, we see it even back in s1 when Carla is still with Abby. I’m sure they wanted to maintain that element after Abby departed. I also believe that they wanted Carla as a soundboard for Abby before she left, so it made sense that once they had a new character without a spouse on the show, they would kill two birds with one stone by moving her to be Eddie’s soundboard as well.

And absolutely, if and when they want Eddie to have a revelation and need someone to vocally agonize to over the pining and fear and want and obstacles, she would be perfectly placed for that. Especially since she’s already been established as being interested in his (and Abby’s) romantic life. How fitting (and poetic) that in both cases, it would end up being about Buck, and that Carla would be able to witness how Eddie will heal what Abby has broken?

Oh, you are always welcome to ramble in my inbox, and you never have to thank me for it! I’m happy for anything I can do for you, lovely! Sending you lots of love, hugs and good rain! (as always, here’s my ask tag!) xoxox

[archiveikemen]

'When He Takes An Aphrodisiac' Story Event — Chapter 02 [Tamamo]

I do not own any of the Ikemen Series content being uploaded on this blog, everything belongs to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading and playing their games.

read this before interacting with my posts

this story event contains suggestive and/or nsfw content. minors please just scroll past and ignore.

Tamamo: Relax. I’ll give it to you even if you don't ask.

Tamamo smiled at me, and we kissed each other deeply with our tongues entwining.

(That’s not what I meant…!)

Even though I wanted to stop, my body had already gotten used to being loved by Tamamo, so it naturally relaxed.

The feeling of him sucking on my lips made me dizzy, and I was drowned in an indescribable feeling of bliss.

Yuno: Haa…ah

When our lips parted, I involuntarily let out a debauched sigh.

Yuno: … I was actually intending to ask about the medicine.

I gave Tamamo a little reproachful look as I caught my breath, and he smiled gleefully.

Tamamo: It was just a joke, but you look quite bothered by it.

Tamamo: You’re really sensitive.

Tamamo: Anyway, back to the medicine. I think it’s—

Tamamo: An aphrodisiac.

Yuno: Aphrodisiac!?

The answer he whispered in my ear made my eyes turn as wide as saucers.

Tamamo: Your face is red.

Tamamo: It's not even surprising that such a thing exists.

Tamamo: Some couples eventually grow tired of each other after being together for a long time.

(What do I do with this? I bought something terrible without knowing what it was…)

(Still, Tamamo should’ve told me back at the shop if he figured it out…)

Tamamo: I didn’t tell you, because you didn't ask.

Yuno: !

I got even more embarrassed after he accurately read my thoughts.

I averted my eyes to avoid seeing the unbothered smile on his face.

(But, do people really grow tired of their partners after a while…?)

Yuno: Tamamo, are you into these kinds of drugs?

Tamamo: Me? Not really.

Tamamo: I’ve seen plenty of them. It's nothing new to me.

Yuno: Oh…

(Considering how many centuries Tamamo has been alive for, it's not surprising he already knows about so many things.)

Tamamo: However… what particularly interests me is how nervous you are right now.

Yuno: What… ah.

He pushed me down onto the bed as he spoke.

Yuno: Tamamo. You’re making fun of me, aren't you?

Tamamo: No way. I just want to play with you, cutie.

Tamamo picked up the medicine box and put it next to my lips.

That mildly seductive gesture made my heart race.

Tamamo: Open your mouth.

Yuno: What…

(Is he going to… give me the aphrodisiac…)

Tamamo: Come on, Yuno.

My heart was beating even faster.

But it was hard to refuse him when I looked into his eyes.

Yuno: Ah…

I slowly opened my mouth.

Tamamo: … Good girl.

Tamamo’s smile grew wider and he captured my lips in a kiss.

Yuno: Nn… nn…

A large hand swiftly pulled my kimono open and rubbed my nipples.

Yuno: Aah…

Tamamo: This is all it takes to get you moaning.

Tamamo: You're so sensitive. That means you don't need the aphrodisiac, right?

Yuno: Nn…

The whispering in my ear sent a shiver down my spine.

(My body… is getting hotter and hotter… because of Tamamo’s touch…)

I felt so shameful that I shut my eyes and endured it.

But I couldn't help but rub my thighs together when he kept stimulating my sensitive spots.

Yuno: Haa… nn…

Tamamo: You’re feeling so good that you’re writhing in pleasure. Are you getting horny?

Tamamo: Do you want me to make love to you?

Yuno: Nn… Tamamo..

I couldn't put together a coherent answer, so I wrapped my arms around Tamamo’s neck and snuggled against him.

Tamamo: … You’re really so cute.

Tamamo: Alright, I’ll give you what you want.

Tamamo: Surrender your body to me…

Tamamo’s voice was dripping with sensuality and he traced his fingers down my legs.

Yuno: Aah… ahh…

I was fully at his mercy, so I surrendered and let my body be showered in love…

Tamamo: You look like you’ve melted from the pleasure.

Yuno: … It's all because of you.

After we made love — I was resting my head on his lap, my body languid.

Tamamo gently caressed my hair.

Tamamo: Hey, Yuno.

Tamamo: Whose reaction do you think will be best if I give them this drug?

I looked up to see him fidgeting with the medicine box with his free hand.

Yuno: I don't think anyone should eat it.

Tamamo: Hmm I think Shigehira’s reaction would be funny. But I also want to mess with Yoritomo, Morinaga, and Kagetoki.

Yuno: That would be terrifying…! Absolutely not!

Tamamo: Relax. I’m just joking.

Tamamo hates being bored, so this must seem like a new toy to him.

(I’m sure he’s not serious about making anyone eat that, but…)

(I also don’t want it to fall into the wrong hands and be used for bad deeds.)

(We should throw it away as soon as possible. … I’m kind of curious about its effects.)

(Wait, what?)

I suddenly realized my curiosity.

(— Now that I think of it… will it work on ayakashi?)

(If Tamamo eats it…)

Perhaps I just wanted to get back at Tamamo for teasing me so mercilessly, but I felt the strong urge to make him eat the aphrodisiac.

Tamamo: What are you scheming?

Yuno: Eh? N-Nothing!

Tamamo: Really?

Tamamo: Okay, then. Let’s call it a day.

Tamamo: You must be exhausted from all that moaning.

He sounded so mean but the way he held me and laid me down onto the bed was gentle.

But…

(I want to see what happens if Tamamo takes that drug…)

That secret feeling of curiosity and temptation remained in my heart—

[watanabes-cum-dump]

I need to stop bombarding our discord sever with my PGR OCs so now I am here!!! Because I don’t think I’ve ever posted abt Anna’s revamp here, despite the fact that I first made and shared her here. (This image isn’t entirely accurate, she’s drawn with a heart with a lock over her chest now)

As you can see, her design has changed a lot and so has her character as a whole tbh. She’s no longer just a self ship with Wata but she is still everybody’s older sister. Also I need to rant abt her because despite Qiu being my favourite, (to bully) I think Anna is the best written or at least the most creative.

The whole thing about Anna now is that she’s basically a Marina and the Diamonds song personafied (sort of) Whereas before she was a more tragic heroic figure + a hopeless romantic, now she’s got this loss of innocence thing going on.

Here are some doodles of her when she was still human

As you can tell, she was a ballerina as a human. The whole thing with Anna now is that she’s been dealing with being used by mainly older men since a young age. I remember I was going to go into it a little more into SA with her old frame, Marionette, but I scrapped it or it never got much attention

Anna’s reason for being a construct now is that she wants to separate herself from this demure, innocent image of a prima ballerina by becoming a soldier. She endured quite a bit assault in ballet due to her partner being a scumbag + body image issues from her creepy teacher. The creepy teacher thing is a personal thing aight bear with me for a bit.

About the whole SA and older men thing, it’s terrible but i felt the need to explore it a bit. It’s sad how girls grow up so much faster because men want them to, or how women stay girls because men like it. I keep thinking about thirteen year old Anna being given candy and being told she’s so mature for her age and unfortunately I think it’s something too many people can relate too.

Anna is also made to look like a doll. You know, a symbol of girlhood. But she’s also been sexualized. Yeah. Yeah, you know what I mean. Also something something metaphor for one’s own autonomy over themselves. And I just really like the ball joint look and pretty clothes leave me alone.

She gets pulled out of the red tide by Vonnegut and help with the Hetero Hive mother, it’s only during Evernight beat when she realizes her mistake and defects to Babylonia.

I almost considered her getting pulled out of the forbidden kool aid by the Luna ascendant gang, and it could have worked because Luna was also manipulated, used, and discarded and she’s like fifteen. So they would have a lot in common (+Alpha x Anna shipping fuel ngl I think they’d be cute together but I haven’t settled yet) But I think it’d be more symbolic of her to get manipulated by yet another man. I don’t think Vonnegut is creepy btw I just think he’s manipulative in general. Also if she were to be picked up by Luna Ascendant gang she would not join Babylonia because she would become attached to Luna and Alpha.

She gets her memories fucked over, but she still has some love for ballet. I like to think of her dancing with Bambinata and even teaching her a bit. OH also she makes her clothes out of panini virus so she gets to have a bunch of pretty outfits mwhahahahahaha designing hyper feminine clothes is my passion.

I’m usually a little iffy abt SA but I was targeted by my teacher/coach when I was younger so that’s where this comes from. Nothing ever happened, but I fear something would have if I didn’t move. He used to give me candy and talk to me in private and say how I was too mature for boys my age (I was 10-12 years old at the time) and likened me to a girl he had a crush on when he was in high school. Gross, right? There was also a time when he made a kiss joke but handed me the kisses chocolate instead. Yeah I hope he got booted. Oh yeah and he touched my ass once. And used to hold our waists in basketball to “position” us even when we said we weren’t comfortable with it. Sheesh I hope he got his teaching license revoked or got put on a sex offender list. And I hope his second wife left him too.

Alright I’m rambling now lmao byeeeeee

[hyunjinspark]

I have a lot to say about chapter 13 so sorry if it’s a bit long and also if there is some grammar mistakes im so sorry since it’s not my first language but I will try my best to organize my thoughts😭

Okay first of all I feel like that flashback of Hyunjin in the city at the beginning was really necessary because we can finally see what was his background and his mental state before moving back in Daejon. Seeing his pov was just so fun to read 🥹

EVERYTHING about y/n and Hyunjin relationship is just so great I love the way you can clearly see the evolution since the beginning. They were just so shy with each other at the start and now the fact that they are so chill with each other and they are not afraid to be even more themselves and even making jokes about what happened👀 I feel like they are past that point where they were trying to convince themselves that they needed to keep their hands to each other but right now they are like « you know what fuck that ». I mean even hyunjin said at the end that it was the only way for him to make y/n happy 🥹 Btw the scene when he told her about the list he wrote in his journal with all the things that makes y/n happy I MELTED.

Everything about this relationship is just so healthy even if nothing can actually happen between them for now im sure they will be happy together at the end 😤 And the angst in this story makes it even more real and better like it can’t be perfect between them. But just the fact that their feelings aren’t changing towards each other despite what’s all happening to them is just so devastating😩(in a good way).

Also we will keep saying it to you until you understand but Jade your smut is LITERRALY SO GOOD like it was one of the hottest thing I’ve ever read. I don’t even like phone sex in general when I read a story but yours just made me feel butterflies I swear. I think it’s also due to the fact that you made their relationship evolve so well that any smut you’ll write it will be automatically super hot but don’t doubt yourself you’re so good at it plz don’t ever stop 🙏🏻

Now Hana…😒 honestly I knew something like that was going to happen and ofc Yeonjun said she had « a lot going on » but that doesn’t mean she has to be a shitty friend to y/n 99% of the time. At this point I don’t even want a redemption arc for her she just doesn’t deserve y/n and Yeonjun. Btw Yeonjun is probably one of my favorite character in this I just love him so much (He is already my bias in txt but the fact that you made such a lovely character for him in this story makes it even more pleasing to read).He just broke my heart at the end I get that Hana still might be hurt too but right now she is just being a b*tch I swear😭 free my boy from Hana he doesn’t deserve any of this.But I will also say that I’m waiting for a redemption arc for Yongbok I miss my man so much 😔 I’m really looking forward to what he has to say to y/n in the next part👀

My favorite scene would probably the one when they were at Yeonjuns place by the pool. When they were talking about how they changed each other and the marks that they left etc.😫 it was just so hot and so romantic (and also really sad) I just loved it. I cried probably 3 times while reading this chapter but it was really worth crying for honestly some scenes were just so intense.

You did such a great job for this chapter Jade please don’t ever doubt yourself for your writing. And don’t worry about the words count I’m sure every people that loves you and this story would even read 100k from you Im dead serious. Thank you for your hard work Jade we love you and I’m really looking forward to the next chapter 🫶🏻

I’m sorry this is so longggg and I still feel like I have a lot to say 😭(writing this as I listen to Love Untold ,the lyrics are just so accurate with slwy I want to cry)

please dont worry about any mistakes, you did absolutely great! you’re so right about hyunyn, they definitely are past the ‘fuck that’ point in terms of not caring as much about their established rules, and its always exciting from here.

thank you for liking the phone scene ! i always fear it can end up being awkward, but they’re so asgdhdks im glad you liked that conversation 👀

jun is so precious indeed 🥺 im happy to give your bias some justice in this story, and sorry to make you cry three times :(

thank you for your sweet words. this made me happy first thing in the morning!

[twinstarlovers]

Also, I realized I really retired from tarot readings like bro I was so good at them but I abused them so baddd. You don’t know how bad my obsession with you was w tarot cards OMGGGG. It’s SOOO EMBARRASSING. Bro I would go to the bathroom every hour & do a tarot reading on you 💀. Like I was soooo delusional. Honestly compared to other ways I’ve expressed my obsession, that is not the worst even tho that does sound super bad but whatever. Honestly you better have some stories to tell me cus you is not about to make me look like a fool for looking like I was the only one being obsessed. Bro I was thinking the other day too like you really lied to me about having a gf back then at the time. I was so thrown off because I knew you was lying to me but I think I was hurt not because I believed you but because you went that far to attempt to hurt me like that. I understand or whatever but like you ain’t shit for that fr. Tbh you were so toxic too 💀 on the low… tryna be slick about it too, your lying manipulative scorpio ass fr. I’m glad I bothered you back then, you deserved it at the time for putting me through all that 😭. ( I hope you are laughing about this & not taking it personal lol ) It’s all just a joke to me now. Also don’t mind me.. I will bring this stuff up to tease as a joke but I’m genuinely over it. It’s just funny to me how we treated each other & being so dramatic for no reason.

But oh right… back to tarot readings. Yeahhh they were so fun tho aside from my obsession & abusing them. I was soooo good. I did them in school & did readings on my teachers that were accurate 😭. I think I’ve told you this but I did it on this one therapist & it was about what she was struggling w atm & I was about her relationship with her man & I went in detail about what was going on & she was like 👁️👄👁️. I was like was it accurate & she was like yes. I was like omg. Then my teacher I did it on her & I think it was about her sister, the point is she believed it that one day she stopped me in the halls to ask me to do another reading for her. Like I was really that occult girl up in my little school 😭. Omggg bro tell me why this one day the lights when out in the school & me & my Pisces teacher (we were so close) felt an energetic shift happen. She said she had a dream that it was gonna happen (so Pisces) & I had felt or said something about it as well before it happened & idk it was the craziest thing ever. My Pisces teacher & I were feeling so off this day. We felt something dark but till this day we don’t know what it was. Everyone was also acting crazy. Idk if it was a full moon or sum or eclipse but that day was soooo weird. I honestly miss that school so much. I swear I didn’t belong there but oh trust me… I did belong there. I needed that help. I needed a smaller space to heal in. I needed therapists left & right to talk to. In a way because it was so small it made me feel confined because of my strict household so in a way it made me feel worse cus it was like no freedom not even in school as well as home but it also made me feel better idk. Lol I had a panic attack one of those days that they put the school in a lock down 😭 like bro yall need to STOP. I was just really triggered by a topic that came up & I was just uncontrollably crying & panicking. I was having so many downloads & flashes of abused kids that it was overwhelming & it had me going insane. So basically it’s cus a conversation came up about whether you should hit your kid or not & me & this teacher were going back & fourth & she was just terrible about it so it triggered me because I felt like a failure that I couldn’t convince her that she was wrong & why it triggered me is because I felt like I just failed all children because to me… what one person does or says spreads like wildfire so in the moment I saw it as I failed an entire world of children & that they were gonna keep getting abused & hit so I was taking that really hard. That’s how all the visions & stuff started. & I couldn’t stop it. It was actually really bad because also I told her how I was hit growing up & it traumatized me & she was also very mean about it so that added fuel to the fire. Anyways yeah. It was during the time I was getting connected to my empathetic side. More specifically my cancer rising was triggered around this time. So I was very sensitive all the time even at home with energies and my psychic abilities were heightened cus I had just tapped in so I needed some time to adjusted to it. Such a bad time. I didn’t understand it at the time that I had just tapped in & was adjusting but looking back it makes a lot of sense. My dog even crying or barking had me going insane like it had me crying & feeling like I wanna die. Ughhh not a good time. Honestly the universe better give me the best of the best in this life because after everything I went through with you & after you, it’s only right because there’s no way I went through that for nun. All those years were so terrible but I miss it sometimes. I miss the feeling of being connected to everything or figuring everything out. One thing I wanna work on rn now is to stop being so hard & judging everyone for being what I used to be. It’s like I grew so much that I have no tolerance for seeing people act like old me. To me it’s like if I can go through it… you can too so get tf up. It’s just really hard to be empathetic & i do not like that because girl… you were just like that not too long ago. To be continued

[eye-of-yelough]

woe, numbers be upon you (for the dark urge questions) 1, 3, 4, 11, 13, 16, 21, 25, 30

WOWIE YOU SPOIL ME. THANK YOU

For context in case you or anyone reading this don’t know, Aeryn is an oc i’ve had since looong before bg3, he’s basically a self insert (except he’s isn’t, at all, because we have very little in common) who is my go-to guy to play as in video games. his personality, appearance and all that was all already in my head so. idk some things might not sense because i bend little things here n there to make him more like he is in my head.

ANOTHER thing is that i initially created this guy for the soul purpose of like. tortureporn. just a little meow meow for me to force all of sad horny little edgelord impulses onto with the hope that if i put it all into one character, i wouldn’t do it as much with my others. and then he kinda just evolved from there as i got more invested in him. but he’s still that tortureporn deep down so that’s why there’s So Much going on with him. just thought i’d warn ya.

1) What circumstances led to your durge picking their class/subclass?

Aeryn’s a level 8 “the great old one” warlock/level 4 “gloom stalker” ranger. for warlock, well. the thing you need to know about Aeryn is that he is. very pathetic. i always play him as a glass cannon. he likely wasn’t living up to Murder Daddy’s ambitious expectations for him as being the ultimate killing machine, so he made a deal for an arcane edge. as for gloom stalker urban ranger well. it’s the dark urge.

3) what would your durge consider to be their greatest skill? is this accurate?

seduction, and no. he is off-putting and desperate and only certain people find that charming. i’d say it’s his love. his empathy.

4) what would your durge consider to be their greatest flaw? is this accurate?

just… all of it. the Urge, the rampant sex addiction, (by extension, the need for people to find him physically attractive, that’s so strong it stops him from physically or socially transitioning, which leads him in this weird purgatory, flitting from girlmoding to boymoding depending on he wants to gain sex or respect from a social situation. suffice it to say, no one ever knows what to make of him.) desperate pathetic clingyness and people pleasing borne from a life of profound isolation and rejection, the fact that he’s so so so scared all the time. and, yeah. i’d say that’s pretty spot on.

11) what motivates you durge to either embrace or resist the urge?

fear. love. both ways. he never embraces the urge, never. not deep down, at least. he spends the whole span of the game trying to resist. he’s just… not very good at it. his vibe has always been that “as if it’s my fault my love language is acts of service and all i know how to do is kill” post.

13) how does your durge feel about killing?

horny. jokes* aside, Aeryn is um. more than a little suicidal if i’m being honest. (bear with me) and memory-fucked as he is, that feeling alongside the urge is all he really knows. the belief that life is nothing but one painful disappointment after another is his soul consistent trait. he honestly doesn’t know that life can be more than that. he also doesn’t know that others don’t feel the same. so that’s essentially how he keeps his guilt and shame on a leash. cant be guilty about killing if you see it as an act of mercy.

*it wasn’t a joke at all.

16) what is your durge’s greatest desire?

now this is one i’ve thought about. basically his perfect life would be as the right hand man (executioner or perhaps assassin) and lover (pet) of a great leader who supplies him with many shitheads and sorry bastards to take out his murderous urges on. and have whoever that leader is give him a pat on the head and tell him he’s doing a good job :) and they fuck scary style. (minthara hiiiiii) (yes i am a durgetash exes truther why do you ask)

21) what are two to three songs your durge would relate to?

so glad you asked.

stupid girl by garbage is Thee Signature Aeryn Song to me.

something rotten by placebo

and, as much as i hate to recommend a song by the worlds evilest band, this hurts by msi.

25) how does your durge feel about Sceleritas Fel?

conflicted. he’s like a mascot for his dark urge, and his arrival always means the worst. and yet, he just can’t not fall this silly little freak’s charms.

30) what are your durge’s intentions/goals at the end of the game?

this would be easier to answer if i knew what his canon ending was, but i don’t. i just finished my first ever playthrough earlier today, where he rejects Bhaal and the emperor and becomes a mind flayer and i can safely say that’s not it. (i romanced lae’zel, realised aeryn would be better suited with minthara around the end of act two, and came to the conclusion that this is not his canon run, so i’m just gonna do what feels right and whatever happens, happens) i’ve watched a few videos of the accept bhaal’s gift -> kill the netherbrain -> kill yourself or go crazy and piss yourself ending (which is so unsettling and i really shouldn’t have watched it at 5am) and its REALLY good but. yeah i don’t know.

thanks so much again for asking and letting me talk about my wretched thing. kisses

[feelingunfulfilled]

My parent (won’t disclose which one) firmly believes that that the root of my issues has to deal with being hormonal and not getting enough nutrition or daily exercise. They believe that I need to strengthen those aspects of my life in order to balance everything out and then I will have the proper amount of serotonin and feel better. Seems to not believe I have anhedonia and even thinks I’ve been lying to my therapist, not telling her the full disclosure truth of how my mood has been? From what my parent gathers living with me each day, they believe they are more familiar with my internal emotions then the therapist could be and I’m not being honest about the good moments I’ve had. Only focusing and talking about the negatives. But isn’t that what I’m MEANT to do with my therapist, discuss concerns and struggles so we can talk about healthy solutions? And even as I’ve had “good days” or seemed happy, it was a fleeting feeling and my baseline of emotion is still monotone or flat. Just because I have ups and downs doesn’t mean I’m improving, just because I can appear optimistic doesn’t mean I actually believe it or take my words to heart. Overall I’m still very negative and pessimistic, with no real baseline emotion. But I also won’t deny my parent the mindset that I’ve been having nice days, because all things rationally considered my days HAVE been good. But it seems kinda biased to ignore all the negatives and ignore my depression and say “oh yes your getting better without any medication, you just had to work harder at it”. I don’t want to have to work harder just to feel NORMAL. I shouldn’t have to dismiss all the sucky instances in my life and push them aside as if they don’t have merit in the situation. That isn’t realistic. Although they have a point, saying I shouldn’t keep feeding into negativity because that only worsens depression, it’s also irritating when they want me to only recognize cheerful fleeting moments and act like I’m not still feeling empty after all that ends.

I’m starting to get desensitized to that notion my parent pushes though; that my hormones are a contributing factor. Sayings things like “it could be your period making you upset, not depression” and attributing my frustrations to teenage hormones. The reason I kept rejecting that viewpoint was because it genuinely sounded like a personal attack to me. It felt like she was dismissing all my struggles and raw emotions (and lack of) as nothing more then a chemical reaction in my body. Like she wasn’t trying to see me for ME. Trying to separate myself as “perfect” from the messy aspects of who I actually am. And I hated being compared to those stereotypes of angsty teenagers, because I hate the notion. Ever since (and even before) I discovered myself to be asexual, I’ve been rather disappointed by the way movies portray teenagers…making a comedy out of real struggles we face, labeling them as “moody” and “emo” and “rebellious”. Oh this teenager is having identity crisis, hating their self image, and crying over how others judge & betray them? lol depressed teenager haha imagine being this self absorbed. I absolutely HATE how the film industry has made a joke and mockery out of being a teenager. Don’t get me started at the constant shoe-horned in immature sex jokes about MINORS and acting like every teen wants to get drunk and party and fuck everyone. Getting actors in their 30’s to pretend to be teenagers banging on the couch….like WTF how absurdly out of touch with reality ARE these people??? Not saying it doesn’t exist, I’m sure it does, but not to this degree and it’s certainly not fair for adults to then make the assumption that this is EVERY teenagers experience. That’s why I’m repulsed when people say “oh your just hormonal right now” because it’s seems like an assumption based on something that isn’t accurate to reality

It’s only now, after taking a step away from all this discussion, that I’m starting to think more deeply about the hormonal argument my parent makes. It may have more merit then I give it credit for. Although I want to see myself as an exception, truth is my body is still developing and I’m sure my mind is too. That most likely IS some reason behind my current actions and way of processing information. It’s possible my mind makes a bigger deal out of things which don’t matter in hindsight. And it’s very possible this “rebellion” phase of teenagers does have some logical truth to it, where children going into adulthood have to advocate for their wants and make themselves independent from parents. That resistance to control and being dictated is instilled deep within many teenagers, including myself to a certain degree (although I don’t enjoy the idea of having to fend for myself as independent adult for the rest of my life lol). So yeah, I’ll give the claim that. But aside from that notion…I still don’t believe it? The excuse that all my thoughts, feelings, actions are dictated by hormones seems absurd. And it makes me feel pretty shitty honestly.

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

I gotta send this in before I overthink it too much lol. Even now in this ask box I’m adding shit.

•What are your interests/hobbies?

I like making genetically accurate family trees for a specific book series. Ngl though, I’ve started it, stopped several books in, restarted it completely, and repeat the cycle. I still have not finished that project. I am interested in psychology too because I’m curious as to the reason/why people do the things they do. I also enjoy listening to music and collecting random tiny objects. If I ever get the chance, I like building things too. Could be anything from legos to model houses/rooms, or an object made from stuff I found in nature or on the ground.

•How do you see yourself?

I’m polite but I usually don’t really care about people most of the time. I’m a bit detached too in that sense, because people close to me will be having problems and I don’t really care too much. I have a short temper, but I actively try to tone down my general emotions, or act like I’m fine if I’m getting upset because I feel like afterwards I didn’t deserve to feel mad lmao—doesn’t always work. When I’m not chilling and I’m in fact very upset, I tend to go for destructive answers. I would say I’m very loyal to my friends though. I’m very detail-oriented and like to do things a certain way, to the point where I’m itching to take the lead from someone because I feel like I could do it right. Sometimes I can get a little bit pushy when I want certain information out of someone. Also, I have awful time management. I know I’ll have a task to do but I’ll actively ignore it to do something else, and then I’m left to do the task 3 hours before it’s due. I’m sensitive, but I don’t like being seen as sensitive. Can you tell that I contemplate myself a lot haha

•How do you think others see you?

I like to keep track of what people describe me as because I’m curious as to how people perceive me. I’ve been described as mellow, diligent, naïve, smart, and extremely quiet verbally and physically. I don’t talk to a lot of people so I’m probably seen as a loner occasionally. I’ve also been called innocent and gullible. While I’ve never heard anyone say it, I’m pretty sure a lot of people think I’m sheltered as hell. A hard worker too maybe. They probably see me as very creative and artistic too. Maybe a bit of a know-it-all, since I have a tendency to correct people without thinking. I just want them to have the right information.

•How do you interact with your friends?

I guess I’m more chill and responsible, I don’t respond much. I give advice when it’s implied or asked for but other than that I’m kinda uninvolved. I’ve been called boring (as a joke) because there’s literally no drama worth talking about going on in my life while my friends have relationship drama every 3 hours. She once straight up told me to just lie about drama happening to me so I would have something to talk about lol. Once I feel I’m allowed to act like it, I can be a little chaotic with friends, and even be a bit of an instigator.

•What’s important to you? (Specific people, ideas, morals, objects, etc.)

It’s important to me that people are fair and honest. Like if two of my friends are fighting and I think one of them is being treated unfairly, idc if they’re both my friends, I will absolutely fight the one being unfair. I like honesty because I admit I’m kinda gullible and I do not like being lied to. I also like keeping whatever trinkets I find, I’m both sentimental and paranoid that I’ll need them in the future for whatever reason. It’s also important that I have headphones or any music player because I listen to music a lot, especially my repeated songs.

•Describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be?

I don’t really have a type of person I want to be necessarily, I just want to be happy with my choices and my life. I guess I want to be seen as smart and logical, and not sensitive and over-emotional. I don’t want to be held on a pedestal though, I just wanna be seen as some guy and that’s it.

Hi!

Aspects: Time, Space, Mind

Classes: Bard, Page, Prince

Try out Bard of Time and Page of Space first, I think one of those two will feel right.

Hope this helps!

[sanguine-vitae]

We arrived at the town late in the day and decided to find lodgings for the evening before making any more plans.  Luckily I still had reservations at the Solid Peacock for the remainder of the week.  And the party seemed agreeable if just for a place to have a hot meal and something to drink.  Water for Patrick however.  He left a terrible impression on the innkeeper and made him think our friend has a drug problem.  Sly man even swapped a mug of wine from his hands and replaced it with a mug of water instead without anyone knowing.

Of course he also made a joke directed at me.  It was funny the first time, but hearing it now, after the hunger hit, it feels…  It isn’t quite the best of feelings.  There’s no way he would know of course.  No one knows.  No one can know.  But a bloody mary, oh-negative, can be a joke easily overlooked.  At least I don’t think I’ve done anything to alert my friends of what I am.  

After dinner we head out to the lord mayor’s home.  Though we were greeted by armed soldiers, we were swiftly let in and were met with Halorin, who gave us each an envelope.  Magical in nature.  Invitations to the lord mayor and the lady Gildensong’s wedding.  Though I don’t think it’s right to just address him as ‘the lord mayor.’  He clearly seems to regard us as friends - at least enough to give us magical teleportation invitations to the wedding place.  

Fenric also gave us a hefty bag of ten platinum each.  If I didn’t know better, I would have thought Demolt would have fainted right there on the spot.  That’s wrong.  I do know Demolt better, and while he didn’t faint, he did burst into an ugly sight of tears and shaking.  Poor thing.  He doesn’t know what to do with himself when it comes to money.  The first thing he did was decide to go out drinking to his health and success.  

Ambrose joined him.  If for no other reason than to make sure he didn’t do anything to brash, or hurt himself.  

The rest of us retired for the night.  And in comfortable beds, with a safe roof over our heads, we slumbered - hopefully peacefully.  

I didn’t hear any complaints when I came down the next morning to breakfast with them.  Although ‘them’ wasn’t quite accurate.  Apparently Patrick had gotten so fed up with waiting he had decided to do laps around the town.  And Demolt was still sleeping off his wild night.  So the three of us, Ambrose, Jericho, and I ate in relative peace and quiet until Demolt joined us, and Patrick could be found.  He brought back stories of a woman whose cat was stuck up a tree. “Again” he added, as if this was a regular thing for him as well. 

But it was Ambrose, who decided to tell a better story.  They have been cursed, they said.  Cursed by someone they thought dead, and now their soul shares a body with their sister.  

All this time we have been engaging two different people, and they didn’t feel the need to correct us if it was Rowan or Ambrose that we were speaking with.  I don’t think they felt safe enough to trust us until now.  And for this I understand.  

Because as soon as they, he, was done telling us how all this happened, and who was currently speaking to us now, all eyes turned to me.  They want to know my story.  Why I’m traveling.  They want to know who I am, and I…  I still don’t feel entirely safe.  No of course not.  How could I.  Ambrose and Rowan aren’t monsters, but they would all see me as one, if they knew.

So I told them the easiest part of my tale to tell.  That I did need help.  And that I needed help to cure my mother.  I told them she was dying and when pressed, I explained that it wasn’t due to a curse, but now they think she’s sick.  Gods I hope she’s not sick.  But humans are so frail.  So soft.  She might have gotten ill in all this time I’ve been away and I would never know.  Not unless we go to her, like Demolt suggested.  

But they can’t.  They can’t see where I grew up.  It would only scare and endanger them.  I told them not to worry about it.  But I know this won’t be the last time I hear about it from them.  Especially Demolt.

After breakfast we headed to the Adventurer’s Guild outpost to sign up and register as an actual group.  

This way we would be paid regularly for the tasks we complete, and we could gain information about our various personal quests - hopefully.  It also means I have to learn to trust and open up to them all more, which…  Is a struggle.  But I’m trying.  

We call ourselves The Blessed Misfits, and our first job takes us next to the town of Brisalf.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

The UK right now:

[imaginingmarvelandeverything]

What if?

AU: What if the convenience couple found out they were expecting just before everything with the Riddler happened?

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x F!Reader

Warnings: Spoilers, injury mentions, pregnancy

Word Count: 6055

A/N: Here’s the convenience AU I promised! I’ve had a few other requests for what it would be like for these two to have kids, but I had already started this. So, I intend to do separate blurbs for those requests. This is a little different from how I usually write because I wanted to include the whole timeline. Anyway, I hope you like it!!!

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Headcanon Requests Open!

October 18th – Late Morning

Y/N stared at the two lines on the test in disbelief, surely this could not be happening. She checked the other two; another set of two lines and a pink cross were staring back at her. She sat down on the toilet lid, her heart hammering in her chest. The tests had only been a precaution, she was so sure that she was wrong.

She had been willing to look past the sudden extreme tiredness, the nausea at random times each day and the fact that she was two months late with her period, because they had all happened before at various points in her life. But she could not ignore the fact that the smell of motor oil and gasoline had made her violently sick for the first time in her life. While she was knelt with her head over the bucket in the station, everything clicked into place. She knew she could not find out for sure in the middle of the night, so she cleaned up the mess and waited for Bruce to get back. After he did, she went to bed with him and waited until he fell asleep. When she was sure he was out cold, she put on his baggiest hoodie and a baseball cap. She snuck out, past Alfred, and went to the convenience store down the street. She brought three different tests, each one boasting that they were the most accurate.

Now, sat in the bathroom, she guessed they all were, as they all said exactly the same. Her throat felt like it was closing, and she could feel herself starting to panic. What would Bruce think? Throughout their whole lives, she could not remember a single time that they had ever discussed their feelings on having children. Hell, she did not even know if she wanted children. Even worse, they had still yet to have a conversation about their relationship being anything other than a marriage of convenience. She dug her nails into her palm and made herself take deep breaths to calm down. She could worry about everything later, she had to be doubly sure first.

****

October 19th – Late Morning

“Mrs. Wayne, I can confirm you’re pregnant.” The doctor did not congratulate her, Y/N guessed the look on her face when she walked in must have told the doctor everything she needed to know. “You have options, these leaflets will explain everything. But while you’re here, we could do the initial ultrasound, unless you want to wait for someone else to be here with you?”

Y/N looked at the leaflets in her hands before looking back up at the doctor. “No, now is fine.”

“If you’ll follow me.” The doctor led the way down the hall to the observation room where the ultrasound machine was. “Take a seat and lift your top up please.” Y/N did as she was told. “This will be cold.”

She was not joking, Y/N flinched at the coldness of the gel as the doctor applied it. She looked at the screen as the doctor moved the scanner over her lower stomach, spreading the gel with it. For a moment all that the screen showed was black and white static, but then the doctor found the right spot and the static gave way to a circle of black with a small, vaguely baby-shaped white blob off to one side.

“You’re about nine weeks pregnant. So, that would put your due date around the end of May. At this stage of pregnancy, we can officially class the baby as a foetus, rather than an embryo. It’s about three centimetres and the heart should have fully formed. We should be able to hear the heartbeat.” The doctor pressed a button and sure enough, the fast heartbeat filled the room. “Everything looks and sounds healthy. Would you like a digital or a print copy of the ultrasound?”

“Print, please.” Y/N could not tear her eyes away from the screen.

“Okay, here you go.” She handed over the small black and white photograph. “If you decide to go forward with the pregnancy, you’ll need another scan between eighteen and twenty-four weeks. You can just phone up and book in about two weeks in advance. The fatigue, nausea and sickness will probably continue for the next few weeks. Any other questions or worries, you can phone up and talk to someone, but if you think that something is wrong, we recommend that you go straight to the hospital.” The doctor wiped away the remaining gel. “Do you have any more questions today?”

“No, I don’t think I do.”

***

October 19th – Early Afternoon

Bruce was sat waiting at the table in the main room when Y/N got back. She supposed it should be expected since she once again only snuck past Alfred when she was sure Bruce was fast asleep.

“Where’ve you been?”

There was nothing accusatory in his tone, he was simply curious, but she still felt guilty. But she knew she could not face telling him right then and there, so she just held up the bag in her hand for him to see. “I went on a parts run. Took longer than normal because Billy had to basically raid the backroom to find what I wanted.” The picture seemed to be burning a hole in her pocket as she lied to him. She dropped the bag on the table in front of him and rubbed at her eyes. The fatigue was back again it seemed.

“Did you sleep?” Bruce stood from his chair and rested a hand on her cheek, a frown on his face.

She shook her head. “Not yet.”

“You should go to bed.”

“Come with me?” She could see him debating with himself about whether to join her or go and hide himself away in the station. She rested her hand over his on her cheek.

That seemed to break his resolve and he sighed. “Okay. I’ll meet you up there, I just need to finish this.” He nodded towards the file he had been putting together before she arrived.

“Okay.” She smiled before making her way upstairs. She pulled one of her old engineering manuals off her shelf and hid the ultrasound photo in it for the time being. She stripped off and pulled on a pair of shorts and the t-shirt of Bruce’s that she had stolen the previous day, before climbing under the covers. She was almost asleep when she felt the mattress dip behind her as Bruce joined her. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him. His hand splayed across her stomach and her heart stopped. Before she could think too much about it, she turned over to face him and buried her face into his chest. He did not seem to care, just pulled her against him again and pressed his lips against her hair.

***

October 25th – Evening

“What’s wrong?” Alfred set the cup of tea he had brought down in front of her on Bruce’s desk.

Y/N looked up from the blueprint she was drawing. “What do you mean?”

“You’ve been off for the past few days. Something is clearly worrying you, and I’d like to remind you that I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.” Alfred smiled.

“Thank you.” She nodded and turned back to the blueprint as she thought over what he had just said. Alfred patted her on the shoulder and started to walk to the elevator. “Alfred.” She called out to stop him, spinning the desk chair around to face him. She knew he was right, she needed help telling Bruce, and who else knew him better than Alfred. “I’m pregnant.”

It was clearly not what he was expecting to be bothering her because his eyes went wide, and he lent more of his weight on his cane. She kept quiet and waited for him to process the information as he sat down on the sofa.

“That’s where you went that morning last week.” It was not a question; Alfred was smarter than most people gave him credit for.

She nodded, her fingers absentmindedly pulling a loose thread on the sleeve of Bruce’s jumper that she was wearing. “I don’t know how to tell him. You know him better than anyone.”

“There’s an argument for that. But my advice would be to just tell him. I can’t pretend to know his views on having children, but I don’t think he will react badly. He loves you.” He smiled softly before standing and walking over to her. “I’ll pick you up some stuff you might need in the morning. Don’t stay down here to long.” He rested a hand on her shoulder again before walking to the elevator.

***

October 26th – Early morning

Y/N was still trying to figure out how to tell Bruce when she heard the bike engine roaring through the tunnel. She turned the chair to face the door as it rattled upwards, and the bike shot under. He pulled it to a stop in the usual place before removing the helmet and putting it on the seat. The make-up was streaked halfway down his face and his hair was damp. She let him pull his contacts out and shrug his overlayers and the suit off before she spoke.

“I need to tell you something.” She really did not mean to cry, but before she could stop them, the tears were falling down her cheeks. She internally cursed her hormones for choosing this moment to release all of the emotions from the last week at once. This was already going to be a hard enough conversation and she really did not need to be having a breakdown in the middle of it.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Bruce dropped to his knees in front of her and took her face in his hands, his thumbs swiping away her tears even though more kept falling. The make-up highlighted the worry in his grey eyes as he assessed her for any physical damage. When he found none he looked back into her eyes.

“I’m not- I can’t-“ She tried to explain that she could not stop, but the sobs racking her chest made it impossible.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I got you.” He pulled her from the chair into his lap. She wrapped herself around him and buried her head in his shoulder. He rested one hand on the back of her head and ran the other up and down her back as he whispered reassurances in her ear. She felt stupid but once she started crying, she was struggling to stop.

When she eventually cried herself out, she pulled back to look at him. She could see the fear behind his eyes as he moved his hands back to her face and brushed away the last few stray tears. “Wh-what do you need to tell me?”

She pulled away from him, just enough so she could reach up to the desk and grab what she needed. He looked at the white paper square in her hand with his eyebrows creased together. She held it out to him, and he took it with his still boxer-bandaged fingers. His eyes went wide as he flipped it over and saw the photo on the other side. His lips parted and he made a noise in the back of his throat, like he was going to say something but could not get the words out.

“Bruce?” She was starting to feel like the crying had been justified.

He took a deep breath and swallowed. “I-I just need a minute.”

She nodded and sat back on his thighs to give him more space to process everything. She started pulling on the loose jumper thread again as she watched him. His face seemed emotionless, but she could see a myriad of emotions flashing through his eyes as he stared at the picture.

It took a while, but eventually he looked back up at her. “How long have you known?”

“About a week. I-I didn’t know how to tell you.” She dropped her gaze to where her fingers were playing with the jumper thread.

“How far along?”

“It’ll be ten weeks now.”

“Have you made a decision? About what you want to do?”

She crossed her arms instinctively over her stomach and nodded.

“And?”

“I want- I want to keep it.” She kept her eyes down, not wanting to see his reaction, until he let out what sounded like a sigh of relief. She looked back up and saw a different emotion in his eyes. He sat back up straight and leaned forward, his hands moving back to her face. He watched her reaction carefully as he shifted so his lips were hovering over hers. She closed the gap between them and wound her arms around his shoulders, pulling him flush against her. He deepened the kiss as he wrapped an arm around her back to keep her firmly against him. They pulled back enough to breathe, staying pressed against each other with their foreheads together.

“I love you.” He whispered against her lips, watching as her eyes fluttered open to look at him. “I’ve loved you since we were stupid teenagers.”

She kissed him again, her fingers tangling in his damp hair as she somehow managed to press herself further against him. “I love you too.” She matched the smile he gave her. “So, this?” She moved a hand to her stomach.

“Absolutely terrifies me.” He rested his hand over hers. “But I want this, with you.” He looked back up at her and kissed her as his hands moved her legs, so they were wrapped around his waist. He pushed himself onto his feet without breaking the kiss as her arms locked around his shoulders. He sat her on the desk and moved his hands up the jumper she was wearing.

***

November 2nd – Late Morning

Y/N woke to the feeling of Bruce’s lips against her neck. She was vaguely aware of the fact that he had joined her in bed in the early hours. But she must have fallen back to sleep pretty quickly, because now the late morning sunlight was streaming through a gap in the curtains.

She turned onto her back so she could see him. His hair was a mess and he looked soft in the partial light. She rubbed the sleep out of her eyes as he pressed another kiss to the exposed skin of her neck. “Good morning.”

He hummed against her shoulder. “How you feeling?” His fingers skimmed over the small bump that was beginning to form in her lower abdomen.

“A little sick, but mainly hungry.” She told him as she reached up and brushed his hair back. “The doctor said that the morning sickness would be starting to go away by now anyway.”

He nodded. “Toast?”

“Toast sounds good.” She smiled at him.

He pressed his lips against her forehead before getting out of bed. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

She watched him go before rolling over and grabbing her phone from where it was charging on the bedside table. She flicked through the news to see what had happened the night before. The Riddler had killed again, the commissioner this time. She sat up in bed as she shut off her phone and ran a hand over her face. When she opened her eyes again she caught sight of the black dress suit hanging on the outside of the wardrobe. She moved her gaze over to the door as Bruce walked back in with two plates in his hands.

“You going somewhere?” She nodded towards the suit when he shot her a questioning look.

“The memorial for the Mayor is later today.” Bruce told her as he sat back on the bed and handed her a plate.

“You think he’s going to show up.” She said before taking a cautious bite of the toast and willing her stomach to not bring it back up.

“Killer’s like this like to watch the reaction to their kills, I don’t think he’ll be able to resist.”

“Don’t you think it will look weird if you show up alone?”

He turned to look at her, the worry clear on his face. “Yes, but you’re staying here. I won’t put you in danger, I’ll deal with the questions.”

She did not try to argue with him, she knew it would be pointless. She managed to get through the rest of the toast without the urge to throw up.  “He killed again last night.”

“He did.” Bruce nodded. “He left another card and cipher, Alfred’s working on it.” He reached out and took the plate from her before putting them both down on his bedside table. “Come here.” He reached out and pulled her into his lap. “I need you to do something for me.”

“What?” She ran her fingers over one of the scars on his bare chest.

“Until we’ve got this guy, I need you to stay here. I don’t think he’ll target you because of your parents, but I don’t want to take any risks. Especially now.” He rested his hands on her hips, his thumbs brushing over the edges of her stomach. “If you need anything me or Alfred can go and get it for you.”

She wanted to protest but she knew the last thing he needed right now was more reason to stress. And he might be right, Riddler was targeting the powerful and corrupt, exactly what her parents had been. So she nodded. “Okay.”

“Thank you.”

***

November 4th – Early Morning

Bruce felt as though his heart was going to beat out of his chest as he stared unseeing at the sterile, white wall of the hospital waiting room. Dory had told him the paramedics only brought Y/N to the hospital as a precaution; she had inhaled quite a bit of smoke and they wanted to make sure the baby was okay. Alfred had come off worse when the bomb went off as he had been the one who opened the package.

“Bruce?”

He shot to his feet as Y/N appeared in the doorway with a doctor. She met him halfway across the room and wrapped her arms around him. He pressed her against him and felt his heart rate start to slow down. He pushed her back from him and looked her over for injuries. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, we’re both fine.” She assured him, trying to keep the tears that were threatening to fall at bay.

He looked over her shoulder to the doctor for confirmation. The doctor nodded. “Both her and the baby are fine. We ran all the necessary tests, all the results were normal. Mrs Wayne,” Y/N turned away from Bruce to face her. “just make sure to get plenty of rest and try to avoid anything stressful.”

“Okay.” Y/N replied.

The doctor smiled at them both before walking back down the corridor.

“Are you okay?” She turned back to Bruce.

He dropped the volume of his voice. “Yeah, I’ll explain everything when we’re home.”

“And Alfred?”

He frowned. “They’ve sedated him, we just have to wait and see if he stabilises. We can go up and see him if you want.”

She nodded and he led the way over to the elevator. Once they were inside she handed him the new ultrasound photo. “Here.”

“You know I might eventually be at one of these.” He muttered.

She laughed softly. “Next one has to be between eighteen and twenty-four weeks.” She took his hand and squeezed it as he pressed his lips to her temple.

***

November 4th - Evening

“Bruce, please.” Y/N once again did not mean to cry, but her hormones were still messing with her emotions and she really did not want him to go and see Falcone. “Please, j-just wait for Alfred to wake up.” She watched his resolve crumble before he pulled her into him. “I’m sorry, it’s the hormones, I can’t stop.” She sobbed into his shoulder.

“I know, i-it’s okay.” His voice cracked as he sat on the bed and pulled her into his lap.

She did not lift her head from his shoulder as she spoke to him. “From what I remember, your father was a good man. I don’t think he would have asked Falcone to kill anyone. But I’m sure Alfred will know either way.” She felt him nod against her and moved back to look at him. There were tears on his cheeks and she brushed them away with her thumbs.

He nodded again, not trusting his own voice.

She went to speak again but her stomach turned. She knew what was coming so she raced to the bathroom. She felt Bruce’s hand on her back as she lent over the toilet. He reached up and flushed the toilet for her as she sat back onto the floor and leaned her back against the bathroom wall.

“Thank you.” She took the glass of water he held out for her and took a sip.

“I thought that wasn’t supposed to happen at this point?” He asked with a frown as he sat across from her.

“It’s supposed to get less frequent. For most people it stops completely in the second trimester, which means I’ve got at least two weeks left.” She explained. There was silence between them before she broke it. “What’s with the mind map you spray painted on the hardwood floor anyway?”

He shrugged. “I just needed to see it.”

“Alfred’s not going to be very happy when he gets back.” She smiled and was glad to see the corner of his mouth turn up as well. She pushed herself to her feet.

“Where are you going?” He stood as well.

“I need-” She stifled a yawn in the back of her hand. “I need to fix the charger, you cracked the fuel line last night.”

He sighed. “What you need is to sleep. Let’s go to bed.”

She wanted to say no, but knew he was right. “Okay.”

***

November 6th – Late Morning

“What were you thinking?” Bruce rounded on her as soon as he shut the door behind the doctor, barely managing to keep his voice down.

“I was thinking that I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself if you died!” She whisper-screamed back at him, just as reluctant to draw attention from anyone that might have been outside in the corridor.

“You heard what she said right, if he had aimed that kick a little lower...” He stopped and she could see the anguish on his face as he thought through what could have happened.

“But he didn’t, and I’m fine! We’re fine!” She corrected herself, her fingers clutching another new ultrasound photo. The fear in his eyes did not disappear so she softened her tone. “Are you?”

Her concern caught him off guard and he froze awkwardly halfway between the door and the observation bed she was sat on. “What?”

“You just took a shotgun blast to the chest at close range, three days after getting blown up and flying into a bridge, not to mention all the other hits those guys probably got in that I couldn’t see.” She took a breath to calm herself down. “Are you okay?”

He let out a breath through his nose and walked the rest of the way to the bed, placing the bag he was holding down next to her. “I’m fine. A little beat up, but nothing worse than normal.”

“Good.” She held out the new picture to him and watched as he studied it. “We’re fine.”

He pressed his lips against her forehead as he put the photo down next to her. “Let’s get you dressed.” He helped her off the table and into the clothes he had brought for her.

“We need to see Alfred. The nurses told him I’m here but they wouldn’t let him come down and see me.” She told him when she was fully dressed.

“Okay, let’s go.” He took her right hand in his and set off towards reception again. They filled out the necessary paperwork before jumping into the elevator up to the sixth floor.

Alfred was sat up in bed when they walked in. He watched them as Y/N sat on the edge of his bed and Bruce hovered protectively behind her. “Are you okay?”

She nodded and handed him the ultrasound photo. “Yeah, we all are.”

He smiled as he studied the picture. “That’s good then. I never did ask, when are you due?”

“End of May.” She smiled back at him.

***

January 4th – Late Morning

Bruce gripped onto Y/N’s hand as the doctor moved the ultrasound scanner over the growing bump in her stomach. He kept his eyes on the screen as the black and white static gave way to a black space with a blob that looked a lot more like a baby than the last ultrasound. Y/N smiled at him and he smiled back as he pressed his lips to the back of her hand.

“Everything looks good.” The doctor announced after studying the image. “The foetus is around twenty-six centimetres long and it’s ears will have fully formed, meaning it will be able to hear you. If you want, I can try and see the sex?”

Y/N looked at Bruce and he could see the question in her eyes.

“It’s up to you.” He told her.

“No.” She shook her head and turned back to the doctor. “I think I want to wait.”

“Okay. Would you like another print photo?” The doctor smiled when they both nodded and pressed the print button. “A few things to watch out for: you may notice some sleep disturbance, mild abdominal pain and general aches and pains.”

“Okay.” Y/N nodded.

“Do either of you have any questions?”

“I don’t.” Y/N said as Bruce shook his head.

***

March 17th – Late Morning

Y/N ran her fingers through Bruce’s hair as he rested his head on her shoulder. She used her other hand to guide his hand over her bump to the place where she could feel the baby currently moving. He smiled when he felt the movement and relaxed further into her.

“What’s it feel like?” He asked.

She shifted slightly as the baby moved again at the sound of his voice. “I can’t really describe it. It just feels weird.”

“I bet.” He laughed softly and shifted back up so his head was back on the pillow again.

She turned her head to face him and ran her fingers over the new bruise forming on his cheekbone. He took her hand in his and pressed his lips to her fingertips.

“You know what I really want today?”

“What?” He wondered what she would be craving this time.

“Lemons.”

He smiled. “Lemons?”

“I know, but at least its not that weird this time.” She matched his smile.

He hummed. “Okay, let’s go and find you some lemons.”

***

May 29th – Early Afternoon

Y/N had tried to ignore the contractions, tried to convince herself that they were just Braxton Hicks again and not the real thing. But the one that she was currently experiencing was a lot more painful than the last few. “Bruce!” She did not know where he currently was; if he was actually in the apartment or down in the station. At least she knew Alfred would answer her if he did not. “Bruce!” She clutched the kitchen side when the wave persisted.

She could hear fast foot falls on the stairs and hallway floor before Bruce appeared in the doorway wearing nothing but a towel. “What’s wrong?”

“We need to go to the hospital. I think it’s time.”

He froze in the doorway, looking at her with his mouth open.

“I’ll get your bag.” Alfred appeared behind him and swatted Bruce’s arm. “You need to get dressed.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Bruce snapped out of it and ran back upstairs.

When he returned he was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and a pair of black converse. There was a pair of her shoes in his hands. “Alfred’s got your bag by the elevator.” He told her as he helped her into her shoes before standing back up.

She gripped onto his arms as another wave of pain hit her. “This sucks.” She laughed breathlessly.

“I bet.” He smiled at her, but there was worry in his eyes. “C’mon, let’s go.” He took her arm and helped her into the main room.

Alfred was waiting by the elevator and handed Bruce the bag they had prepared almost two weeks ago. “Keep me updated.”

“Of course.” She tried to smile but it came out as more of a grimace as the pain flared up again.

Alfred patted them both on the shoulder before stepping out of the way so they could get into the elevator. When they arrived at the garage Bruce swore.

“What?” She rested a hand on her stomach as she felt the baby shift.

“I forgot to fuel up one of the other cars, we’re going to have to take the corvette.”

“It’ll be fine.” She knew he was thinking about the press. They had been having a field day since they realised she was pregnant.

He huffed out a breath but helped her into the car anyway before throwing the bag into the back seat.

***

May 30th – Evening

Y/N had to force her eyes open; she had never felt so tired before. But it was worth it to see Bruce sat in the chair next to the bed smiling down at the bundle in his arms.

“Hey.”

His head snapped up to look at her and his smile got wider. “Hey.”

She reached out her hand to him and he understood what she wanted. He carefully stood up and leaned down to her. She took the bundle from him and cradled it against her chest. The baby shifted but did not wake up. Bruce sat down on the edge of the bed and pressed a kiss to Y/N’s forehead.

“Alfred’s on his way.” He told her. “The nurses came back in while you were sleeping, they asked about what we’re going to name her. I told them we were still thinking about it.”

“Well we know her middle and surname, we just need a first name.”

“I wasn’t aware that we had a middle name.” Bruce frowned.

“Well I was assuming it would be Martha, because there’s no way we’re making it my mother’s name.” She looked back up at him and could see the tears in his eyes.

He nodded. “I wish they could be here.”

“Me too. But at least she’s going to have a kickass grandfather in Alfred.”

He laughed. “That’s true.” His face got serious again. “Are you planning on telling your parents?”

“I think they’ll find out anyway, but if they call I might. I’m not planning on reaching out to them though. I don’t want them around her. She can choose to have them in her life when she’s older, if she wants, but I don’t want them in mine.”

He nodded and went to reply but the door opening cut him off.

“There’s a Mr Pennyworth here to see you, should I send him in?” The nurse asked.

“Yes, please.” Y/N told her.

The nurse nodded and retreated from the room.

When the door opened again, Alfred walked in. He looked at the scene in front of him with a soft smile. “Congratulations.” He walked over to the bed and rested a hand on Bruce’s shoulder.

“Would you like to hold her?” Y/N asked him.

“I’d love to.” Alfred said as he hooked his cane over the arm of the chair. Y/N placed the sleeping baby into his outstretched arms. He looked down at the bundle in his arms with a smile as he sat in the chair. “She’s beautiful. Who’s eyes did she get?”

“Mine.” Bruce told him, the corner of his mouth turning up to a smile as he did.

“Does she have a name?”

“Not yet.” Y/N said as she reached out and took Bruce’s hand. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“All in good time.” Alfred tore his eyes away from the bundle and looked back up at them. “I think I should warn you both that the press are already outside.”

They both sighed.

***

May 31st – Late Morning

Bruce had Alfred drive back to the tower in the corvette and called a driver once Y/N and the baby were released. The hospital staff showed them to a side door where the driver could pull up. He wrapped an arm around Y/N’s waist and pulled her against him, her hospital bag in his other hand. Their daughter was cradled in Y/N’s arms; the driver had been informed to have a car seat ready.

“Your drivers here.” One of the hospital security guards let them know.  

“Ready?” Bruce asked her.

“Not really.” She shifted the baby closer to her chest.

He pressed a kiss to her temple before nodding to the security guard. The guard opened the door for them and they walked out. The car was directly outside but so were the cameras. They flashed all around as the reporters called their names. Bruce only released Y/N to open the car door for her. She slid into the backseat carefully and he closed the door behind her. She strapped the baby into the car seat as he walked around the front of the car and slid into the passenger seat.

He turned around to face her. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I got it. Good job we practiced.” She smiled at him as she fastened her own seat belt.

He smiled back before turning back around and telling the driver to go. The cameras continued flashing as they pulled out of the hospital parking lot. The drive to the tower was uneventful and it felt like no time at all before the driver was pulling the car into the garage. Bruce climbed out and started unstrapping the baby while the driver helped Y/N out of the car. She thanked him and walked over to Bruce. She went to lean down to pick the bag up off the floor where he had dropped it but he stopped her.

“Hey, I’ve got that.” He handed her the baby before leaning down and picking up the bag himself. He thanked the driver and waited for him to drive out before he hit the button to close the garage door.

“You okay?” He asked once they were in the elevator.

She nodded. “Just tired.”

Alfred was waiting for them when they stepped out into the penthouse. “Welcome home.” He walked over to them and peered into the bundle of blankets to see the pair of blue-grey eyes staring back at him. “She really does have your eyes.” He smiled at Bruce. “I’ll let you both get some rest before I make some food. I’ve moved the crib into your room, I assumed it would be easier for the first week or so.”

“Thank you.” Y/N said as Bruce steered her towards the stairs.

Once they were in their room, he helped her redo the baby’s swaddle the way they had been shown at the hospital. She gently laid the baby down in the crib before standing at the end and looking down at her.

“She looks like you.” He rested his head on her shoulder and his hands either side of her on the crib rail.

“If we’re being completely honest, she currently just looks like a baby with your eyes.” She smiled as he chuckled.

“Maybe, but I think she’s going to look like you.”

“We’ll see.”

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