#I’ve seen this take way too many times for it to be targeted lmao

[booksandpaperss]

okay something that’s been annoying me; I don’t like mleven at all but you won’t catch me saying it was never good.

It was a popular ship until season 4 bc it was legitimately good in s1 and 2 idc. Literally part of the point of byler being gradually revealed and mikes sexuality being hinted at and put into question more and more obviously each season is to completely recontextualize the mleven scenes in earlier seasons upon rewatch.

Mleven was meant to be likable at first, it’s a really clever way to get people to re examine what’s perceived as a romance just bc it’s a guy and a girl and I really hate that people on this tag try to discount the purpose of that and the fact that they had a really sweet bond, especially before it got romantic. Yes, they’re terrible partners for each other, and were they not characters in a narrative I would absolutely wish they had never gotten together, but they are and their romantic relationship is integral to both their respective arcs in terms of how they both individually suffer from comphet in different ways (fyi comphet affects everyone, not just queer ppl, it’s just that it affects queer ppl in unique way due to obvious reasons, and whether el is queer or not she is clearly struggling with comphet just as much as mike) and how they learn to break away from it and pursue what they really want in life outside of heteronormativity and gender roles.

So yeah, I’m sick of everyone on this tag acting like their relationship was never good and that it doesn’t serve any purpose. It’s certainly not good now, and maybe you really did never personally like it, but theres a reason Finn took chemistry tests with both Noah and Millie, and there’s a reason mleven was marketed as the “it” romance of stranger things for the first two seasons. Pretending it wasn’t good completely takes away from the whole recontextualizing of what’s initially perceived as romantic; it’s supposed to seem romantic at first and then raise questions on a rewatch with the context of byler in the later seasons.

[khalixvitae]

★Under The Skin ★

Rook Hunt x Reader | ~3k words

Warnings: mentions of death and dying (not descriptive), a smattering of angst but we don’t have time to unpack all that; semi suggestive at points because I cannot seem to help myself; mentions of book 6 but nothing too descriptive! Reader is also implied to know Floyd. Vaguely canon compliant, takes place ambiguously after book 6

Info: I’ve been obsessed w the idea of Rook w an implied goth reader who collects bones and makes bone jewelry. Entirely self indulgent (i am goth and I collect bones and make jewelry Lmao). GN reader, no physical descriptors used other than that the reader wears jewelry.

——————————————————————————

Rook Hunt was an odd duck, you’d always known that much for certain. He was hyper observant and yet seemingly unaware of social norms, constantly invading the personal space of those around him. Ever the chatterbox, he’d seamlessly suck any passersby into a whirlwind of a conversation, gleaning whatever information or entertainment he’d sought out before discarding his still confused target with a friendly adieu. He would regularly monologue, lyricize, and wax poetic about even the most mundane of things. Frankly it was difficult not to notice such glaring personality traits- he had a habit of making his eccentricities everyone’s business.

Even so, his outlandish tendencies and flowery language only further obscured what kind of person he was hiding beneath the surface (and beneath that bizarre hat). He was in Pomefiore, after all- and a Vice housewarden no less. It only made sense that his public persona, as bewildering as it may have seemed, was carefully crafted by his dexterous hands. Always guiding the conversation away from himself with a practiced ease, it was obvious he sought to keep any clear image of his character permanently out of focus. He was like a mirage- not quite tangible, his perimeter fuzzy and constructed only of contradictory statements or nearly mythological anecdotes. No matter how hard you tried to get a peek behind the veil, he was always just out of sight. You had always been certain that the trajectory of any arrow fired by those same hands would be far straighter, cleaner, than any conversation you could ever hope to have with the huntsman.

Which is what made your current situation all the more unexpected.

“And this one?” His eyes darted to another one of the many trinkets you’d scattered across your bed. Lithe fingers hesitated over the pendant he’d zeroed in on, an owlish gaze flickering up to meet your own. He wanted permission. How very unlike himself, you thought. Or perhaps it was more like him than he’d ever been in your presence- you had no way of knowing, of course. You pushed the thought away and instead nodded affirmatively. He plucked the necklace from the duvet, its weight remembered by an indentation in the plush down.

“Yeah, I found that amber while digging around on the beach with Ace and Deuce. I’d never seen inclusions like that before. It just needed a little polishing up and it made for a really nice piece. The other stones are tigers eye- I got those online.” He held the petrified resin up to the sunbeams streaming through your bedroom window, nodding affirmatively as you spoke.

“Magnifique! How lucky you are, mon Trickster.” He rolled the stones between his fingers, a musical lilt coloring his speech. “You have quite the collection- a proper Cabinet des Merveilles.”

You shrugged at that, glancing down at the innumerable treasures you’d accumulated. Well, treasures was a subjective title to say the least. Bones or teeth belonging to unknown animals, each fragment you’d found in the woods and painstakingly cleaned to later preserve. Carefully dried flowers from plants you’d never seen prior to your arrival in Twisted Wonderland, as well as some familiar varieties you’d taken comfort in coming across. Sea glass, petrified coral, and iridescent shells you’d collected on trips to the coast with your friends. A shadow box of butterfly specimens found around the school’s botanical gardens, each one you’d mounted with care. Evidence of your time there, proof of your experiences and your memories and your love for a foreign place you’d slowly made home.

When you managed to untangle yourself from your own sentimentality, you realized he was watching you. He was waiting. His vibrant green eyes were too green in the early evening light, shining like pools of opaque, still wet oil paint.

“I’m glad you like them,” you answered simply, your voice far more hoarse than you’d anticipated. The bizarre nature of your situation only hit you further when he shifted his weight, his attention now focused solely on you- as if you were a specimen in your own collection.

All of this because he’d inquired about your earrings in homeroom.

They were simple things, really. Pretty green glass beads strung together with tiny bones you’d unearthed on one of your many hikes. They had belonged to something small, and you were certain the delicate pieces were vertebrae. It was a wonder they were so intact- however despite their relatively pristine condition, you had no idea what creature they’d belonged to.

You figured they’d caught the light just right, or maybe you’d tilted your head just so- it didn’t take much to catch the hunter’s attention, after all. Whatever the case, halfway through the lesson you’d noticed his keen eyes on you. Your recognition did nothing to deter his blatant staring; in fact, he’d waved at you. As strange as it may have been, you didn’t pay it much mind. Rook was odd, sure, but he’d never done anything outright malicious. Well, not towards you. This kind of behavior was well within his usual repertoire and therefore easy enough to ignore.

In much the same way, it wasn’t totally unexpected for him to descend upon you as soon as the bell rang for dismissal. Rook wasn’t an especially large guy, at least not compared to some of your other classmates. He was broad shouldered and sturdily built, sure, but he wasn’t a notable giant like Jack Howl. And yet something about Rook made him loom, an imposing presence despite his cheerful cadence and charismatic smile. He always toed a fine line, giving the impression that he was all over you without ever once making physical contact. Your encounter that day had been no different; he’d spouted off a laundry list of greetings and praises, only half of which you’d managed to catch, before dipping in closer to view your handiwork.

“Oh! Beau savoir-faire! Did you make these yourself, Trickster?” The way he’d honed in on the dangling vertebrae made you keenly aware of how they framed the vulnerable column of your throat; the equivalent to a neon sign for any apex predator, Rook himself included. Feeling ever more exposed, the rest of the conversation passed with a quickness you had grown to expect from the hunter. Before you knew it, you’d invited him to come by Ramshackle so he could view the rest of your collection. After all, it wasn’t often that someone took vested interest in your little hobby. Ace thought it was outright creepy. Shells were fine, and he could almost (almost) give the butterfly thing a pass, but bones were where he drew the line and made a point to tell you so. And tell you he did. Frequently. Deuce was less outright rude about his discomfort- he wasn’t Ace, after all- but the squeamish look on his face was enough to deter you from showing him any unusual specimens.

When you’d arrived home from classes that day, Rook was already on your doorstep. He looked excited, nearly childlike in his enthusiasm. You’d resolved to yourself then that letting him into Ramshackle would do no harm- Rook was strange, yes, but he was only as dangerous as the rest of your peers. He’d never been remotely unkind to you; in fact, he’d been extraordinarily helpful on more than one occasion. Besides, he was already there, patiently waiting for you on your own stoop. Turning him away now would be just plain rude, not to mention he often made pleasant company.

And so there you were, settled across from Rook Hunt of all people. Alone, in your otherwise desolate dorm- the Great Seven only knew where Grim had slinked off to when your guest arrived. Even the ghosts had made themselves scarce since you’d guided Rook to your bedroom. That being several hours prior, you were astonished that not a solitary soul had intruded upon your peace. Normally something or someone would’ve stirred up trouble for you by then, but the dormitory was silent. He was still silently observing you, and that exposed feeling from earlier in the day seeped back into your bones.

“The ones you’re wearing. May I look at them again? The lighting here is much better, no?” As always he sounded so sublimely agreeable, and it would’ve felt even more revealing to tell him no. Not that you wanted to tell him no, necessarily. If anything, you didn’t mind the thought of him getting closer. That was a damning thought you forced down immediately as you gave him the go ahead. He removed his hat and placed it somewhere beside him- you didn’t keep track of where, far too focused on his reasoning for doing so. He leaned in closer, so close in fact that the brim of his trademark accessory would’ve prevented him from achieving the proximity.

“Snake vertebrae,” he murmured, as if identifying them didn’t take a moment’s thought. “And my, how wonderfully preserved! You’re quite talented, mon Trickster.” His breath grazed your cheek as he spoke, words ringing impossibly close to your ear. The sudden thought that he smelled nice passed over you, only serving to grow your list of absolutely damning thoughts about Rook Hunt. The subsequent realization that there was a list to begin with would have made your blood run cold had the heat of your embarrassment not warmed you down to your bones.

You briefly recalled one of Floyd Leech’s many complaints he’d voiced to you on your living room floor. He’d dropped in uninvited, if memory served you right, but you’d digress for the moment. You weren’t sure of the full context- you didn’t make point to pay that much attention when Floyd was in one of his moods- but what you did remember was a rather innocuous detail he’d given you about the hunter sitting on your bed. That he only wore perfumes when he wanted to be noticed. Of course Floyd’s delivery had been much more coarse and insulting, but nonetheless. And the herbal, nearly floral scent you’d caught was definitely cosmetic, you were sure of that. So he wanted to be noticed by you, then? Another idea to add to your ever growing list.

The soft shuffling of leather brought your senses back into sharp focus. He’d removed one of his gloves, brandishing his bare hand in your line of sight. “May I?”

You nodded silently, watching it for as long as you could. A gentle tug on your earring let you know he was turning the charms around, looking it over carefully with those unnerving eyes of his. Wheatgrass strands of his cropped hair tickled your skin, but you held as still as one of the courtyard statues.

When he finally sat back he looked more than pleased. “Your finds are most impressive,” he chittered, tapping his bare fingers against his gloved ones. You watched them for a moment, taking note of the practiced calluses on each exposed fingertip- marks of his upbringing that even Vil’s carefully coordinated skincare routines couldn’t fully erase.

“But why do you collect them?”

The question wasn’t entirely unexpected- it was quite common for people to be curious about what motivated such a strange hobby. What was unexpected though was the glint in his eye. Something hopeful and genuine brewed behind his placid expression, something you couldn’t quite place but intended to figure out.

“Because they’re beautiful,” you replied, far surer and more steadfast than you’d been moments before.

“Even though they’re dead?” He raised a manicured eyebrow at you expectantly, the shine of his eyes catching the sun’s last bright rays.

“Of course. I mean why wouldn’t they be? It’s not like death itself is innately ugly. And dead things aren’t either.” It was your turn to lean forward, soaking up his expression that wasn’t all that unlike surprise.

A quiet laugh bubbled up past his lips. “So you do not fear death, then?”

You shook your head, matching the soft smile he offered you in exchange for your thoughts. “Death, no. Dying? Absolutely. Dying has a sensation- well, probably, its not like I’ve done it before- and that’s what I’m afraid of. What it feels like. I’m way more impartial when it comes to death itself. Mostly because it’s also impartial. It just is. It’s not malicious, or calculating. It’s just there.”

You brushed a hand over your trinkets, choosing your next words carefully. “I guess the only scary part about death is that when you’re dead, you run the risk of being forgotten. I mean, that’s why stuff like ruins and run down cemeteries are a thing. It’s not that those things don’t matter anymore because they’re dead, but because they’ve been forgotten about. Bones are a lot like that. Just because they aren’t up and moving anymore doesn’t mean they just cease to exist. The thought of dead things being forgotten about… bothers me? I guess? Especially when they’re beautiful things. Because all beautiful things were loved at some point, even in passing.” Perhaps this was all getting a little too introspective. Part of you wondered if you were a forgotten thing back in your own world; what had your loved ones done? Sometimes you felt like a dead thing with no body, no grave for them to visit. Something that had truly ceased to exist outside the memory of those around you. You worried you were revealing far too much, however his wide eyes and parted lips were all the encouragement you’d needed to continue forward.

“So I like to find them and clean them up. Yeah they’re inanimate now, but they deserve to be remembered and loved, even if they’ve changed. And I do love them. They’re special to me, just like the times and places I found them.”

Rook was wound taut like a bowstring, his posture rigid and features affixed in an expression of unmistakable awe. And there he was. Suddenly his usual shifting demeanor was frozen in time. The smoke and mirrors he usually deployed were no longer in effect, and you were absolutely sure that you were getting an honest look at him. Staring at him like that, you could recall a few instances where you’d seen him in momentary clarity. When he’d jump to protect his juniors, or when he nearly took off alone during the STYX debacle, and when something would catch him so off guard he’d throw his head back in unpracticed laughter. This was that Rook. The prolonged sight made it hard to breathe.

The final fiery glows of the setting sun illuminated him, now uninterrupted by the wide brim of his hat that still lay discarded on your bed. In the warm evening light you could faintly see the ghosts of freckles along his high cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, faded but still a part of him. His soft woodsy perfumes, the bare hand laid flat against your duvet and the hopeful way he stared at you, as if begging you to accept some sort of invitation you’d never consciously received.

For the first time you could recall, he looked weak.

And just as quickly, he began to slip away. His long lashes fluttered and he forced a quiet laugh- he was beginning to recompose his facade piece by piece. He went to work slipping on his missing glove, beginning one of his typical monologues- he was running. Whatever silent offer he’d given you, you’d sorely missed your chance. If you didn’t think of something, anything to stop him, you were sure this wouldn’t happen again. “Magnifique! Another devoted to the pursuit of love, much like myself! How dreadful it is that the evening is drawing to a close-“

“You’re so beautiful.”

Whatever door he’d tried to close was promptly blown off its hinges. There was a heavy silence that settled over the two of you as his already wide eyes grew to the size of saucers. The sun had fully dipped below the horizon, and now the fluorescent street lamp by your window illuminated his visage in new shades of blue.

“Excusez-moi?” His honey colored lashes fluttered as he once again met your gaze. You may as well have punched him in the gut.

“I said you’re beautiful, Rook.” By lightly nudging his hand away from his hat you only further disarmed him. Something in his posture went lax; the bowstring had finally snapped, leaving him boneless, powerless beneath your intense gaze. He looked relieved. Being so exposed was exhausting, yet set a visible shiver down his spine.

All at once you placed that glint in his eyes from before, his silent request coming into vivid focus. An aching desire to be a part of your larger collection- something to be coveted, something to be loved regardless of form. You supposed one devoted to the pursuit of love would crave it the most. Had that been what this was from the start? His benevolent assistance, his endless compliments, his unwavering attention? You’d written it off as his usual eccentricities, but had he been subtly peacocking this whole time? The way he allowed you to ever so gently remove both gloves and press your skin against his gave you all the confirmation you needed. When you trailed your fingertips along his forearms before encircling his wrists, he all but pushed them into your grip. There was something else in his verdant gaze, something that told you he’d ask you to maim him and enthusiastically thank you after the fact. Not that you’d ever want to harm him at all; no, seeing him in such a state gave you an abrupt and thorough understanding of his desire to protect all things beautiful.

However, Rook would, in fact, leave shortly after. Your time had drawn to a close, and he did have duties to tend to at his own dormitory. Part of you worried he wouldn’t come back- that the moment of weakness the huntsman shared would be regretted as soon as he slipped away.

How foolish of you.

A few days afterward on your way to class, you noticed something glinting in the morning light. An arrow, cleanly wedged into the clapboard by your front door. A little bag of trinkets had been secured to it, along with a note.

“Pour le Cabinet des Merveilles de mon amour” - R.

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Tag list for those of y’all who were on the same wavelength over the last few days! Feel free to DM to be added! A Vil fic is probably gonna be next bc I have Pomefiore brainworms alsjdkdj (and dm if you wish to be removed ofc! <3)

@v-anrouge @vtoriacore @phoneymedic @gum-gum-time

[thestobingirlie]

To answer your Byler question: it’s about the slow burn of it all and about the audience that the story will reach. I don’t really know what you mean by “with gay rep the way it is now” because the state of gay rep rn is just two characters getting together after a few episodes of no buildup. Regardless of Will and Mike being white (which I’m going to assume is what you’re getting at), there are very few modern gay stories out there that spend this long on a slow build and the careful construction of a seasons-long sexuality arc. That is what would make Byler so unique if it ever becomes canon, compounded by the fact that ST is the most mainstream of mainstream shows. This isn’t Heartstopper or Schitt’s Creek or another gay show whose audience is limited because it’s targeted specifically to gay people — Everyone and their mother watches it, and that means that everyone will end up witnessing Byler’s story if it happens. That is what would make this special and groundbreaking. 

Of course, no one should be dismissing the importance of Robin as a character on her own, and lesbophobes claiming that Robin and Vickie mean nothing is unfair, but your point about it being the other way around (aka Byler meaning nothing Vickie and Robin as a couple) doesn’t make any sense, as Rovickie has had barely had 5 minutes of screen time together compared to the way Byler has been built up since S1. Even Robin and Nancy got more screen time than them, hence Rovickie’s complete lack of popularity. Stranger Things had the opportunity to make Vickie important in s4 and chose not to do it. It’s no different than any other show, where as you said, the wlw couple is just in the background. It’s nice that ST included a love interest for Robin, but it would have been more meaningful if she was actually a character in her own right. 

(And Robin and Vickie are also white, btw.) 

okay.

first, i would like you to watch more gay shows, because from the sounds of it you are not very well versed. but that’s okay!

second, i mentioned will and mike are white because while there are a lot of white mlm ships around nowadays, that number obviously drops with gay characters of colour, and i wanted to be clear i was taking that into consideration.

third, and i presume this is where our opinions majorly differ, i don’t think will’s sexuality arc has been handled as well as it could have been. and i think if the majority of the audience is unable to recognise that mike is going through a sexuality arc, then byler won’t be recognised as a slowburn anyway.

fourth, other shows have been popular and included gay characters and couples. and people are already calling stranger things a “gay show” because they have one lesbian and one gay character. though i think it’s very sweet that you think people, at the bare minimum, watching byler happen will make byler groundbreaking. a ship isn’t groundbreaking just because it’s been seen by a certain amount of people.

now, you seem… riled by my comparison of rockie to byler lmao. i think you misunderstood my tags. so i suppose there’s a few things to address with this too lol.

so. i very very much so doubt byler has been built from s1, because the duffers didn’t plan past s1. we were never going to see those characters again. the duffers are largely making this shit up as they go along.

a lot of bylers i’ve seen on tumblr seem to have this… obsession with making stranger things the mike and will show, and it just isn’t. and i think they’re doing a disservice to the characters and the ship by imagining this importance.

and i don’t think rockie not having a main part is a bad thing. i want my gay characters to exist past their sexuality. rockie isn’t groundbreaking! so many ships have come before it lmao. but it doesn’t need to be groundbreaking. i’m okay with vickie being introduced this season as her love interest, and robin having a life and arc outside of vickie. that’s how most side romances go. that’s what happened with dustin and suzie! if vickie receives no time at all in s5 and rockie end up together off screen, then yes, obviously i’ll be annoyed at the lack of time given to them. but that’s a problem for future me.

my point was rockie having their moment, and dating, and us watching it throughout s5 would mean more to me than byler happening. not that everyone shouldn’t care about byler rep lmao.

(and i know rockie are white, babe, but wlw shows are being cancelled regardless of if they’re both white)

[happyinjection]

Episode 8 left me with SO MANY thoughts and they’re all over the place. Great episode with gorgeous action scenes (which got me hooked to the show in the first place). Please don't mind me, I need to rant for a bit.

The lore dump that is Finn’s past is not entirely unexpected, but to see it confirmed is... whoa. So now we know that he did lose his family in a house fire involving a “knight” in black. Perhaps the knight is a player too? But why is he targeting Finn’s family, and how did Finn survive the strike? Did someone come to save him, or is his survival also part of his “destiny”? (since he’s clearly not just some guy)

Finn’s brother is still nowhere to be seen and hidden on purpose. But Tilt’s appearances in this ep is basically a nod toward the theory that he is indeed Finn’s biological brother, or at the very least, is watching over him, right? Iris (the girl from episode 1! finally) shows up as well, and she does take part in protecting Finn from Bobby, is it possible that she’s receiving orders from Tilt?

And this. This shot has been bugging me since last night.

Whose hand is this? The recurrent appearance of Mr. Apple is getting sus too (he’s so funny tho). Is he working with a player? Has he been watching over Finn? The glove has a heart symbol on it so it must be a Heart card, right? And heart card = abilities related to body manipulation so is it really what I’m thinking? Is Mr. Apple a shapeshifter maybe? Could it be he’s actually Tilt himself?!

I also noticed that they really love putting emphasis on how Chris likes to claim himself as Finn’s “trusted older bro” huh (I can make a compilation tbh). I wonder if Tilt (or anyone else in that matter) turns out to be Finn's real biological brother, are they setting up for “choose between your actual older bro or Chris!” situation?

And if Chris turns out to be working with the Klondikes or is betraying Finn in some way… gah (I mean, Chris is technically responsible for dragging Finn into this whole business, putting aside the fact that Finn likely has been involved for a long time without himself realizing).

There’s also Bobby playing not one, but two cards! In an official tweet, and I think also in one of the early episodes (was it Bernard?) it is stated that a player can only play a maximum of one card. How does Bobby manage to break that rule? Is it a something developed by the Klondikes? Is it actually possible to do so from the beginning, but with fatal side effects? (btw the Klondikes look a lot like a cult huh lmao... Ban, you scare me)

Frankly “X-hand” is a ridiculous name but oh well. I guess it is possible to play more than one card as long as it follows the rule of poker hands? Bobby’s cards are “a pair”.... right? Also now I’ve got an idea of what Ban probably meant by “X-blind” in episode 5, perhaps it is when one person play all 52 cards at once? Just like the boy-king in Fourland history.

Lindsey basically saying “I’m happier if you don't come back here at all” when Finn has given his everything for Sunfields is just brutal... even more so when you realize that Leo has in fact said the same thing in the side story but now that Lindsey has confirmed it... pain.

Speaking of Finn and Chris, I also have a lot of thoughts about their relationship but I think I'm saving that for another post. For now let’s put out that martial arts training short story quick before next week so we can all scream together (please scream with me).

[gurugirl]

Hi. I’m sorry to trouble you with this but it’s really messing with my head lmao.

I’m having a dilemma, since Harry has been silent on genocide and literally has zionists as best friends he’s made my opinion on him change drastically and has basically left a sick feeling in my mouth, considering what he advocates for, and I absolutely adore you and your writing and obviously I would love to continue supporting you, I don’t imagine him when I read so that’s okay, but with other writers I have adored for a long time, they ignore this about him and continue posting freaking out about his hair or a new photo. And it makes me question them too. I understand using his name for views etc because that’s smart, but to really be a fan and ignore it.. I don’t know how you can’t feel the same as me about him honestly. It’s made me so upset but mostly angry and sick. I love theirs and your writings and as you don’t post for him really ever as I see(?) it makes me hold you in a higher regard and feel maybe you understand. I’d just like your view on it I guess because, to get dark and boring sorry lmao, I have depression and honestly these stories give me life. This community used to as well. So now (to sound dramatic) after ‘losing’ Harry & what he’s meant to ang given me after more than a decade, I’d hate to lose this community too you know. Because I know how I feel, I just don’t know what to do. You probably don’t even know what to say and I understand because like I said neither so I haha, you’re just very wise and your @ is aptly named. Thanks for listening if you do. X

Ahh I know this is one of those super divisive conversations as of late. I’ve posted in support for Palestine a few times on this blog but I hesitate to focus on that conversation while this blog is a Harry smut blog.

I don’t know what his take is since he hasn’t made it clear where he stands. And just because he has friends who are supporting Israel doesn’t mean he is too. All we know is he’s quiet. If I cut off all my friends and family for not seeing things the same way I do I’d probably just give up on life. We don’t have many things in life to find joy in and picking apart the opinions of others or those we look up to can be dangerous and unhealthy.

I don’t know why he’s been silent about this but I do know that anytime anyone does speak up about things that people have huge opinions on it can be a shit show.

Even someone like me, with a tiny itty bitty platform gets hate for posting in support of Palestine- just imagine how much more that would happen with Harry. Does that make it right for him to keep quiet? Should he risk his reputation among people who don’t agree with whatever he says? Either way, someone isn’t going to like it and he’ll become a big target.

I’ve seen a lot of people make the comment that people like Harry (famous people) should just keep their mouths shut about things like this. But then when they’re silent they get shit too. They can’t win one way or another.

It’s okay to move on from being his fan if his silence bothers you but it’s also okay to still be his fan. It’s better not to alienate people by saying such things with such wide and broad strokes when we don’t know the heart of people just because they’re quiet or because we haven’t heard their opinion.

I hope you’re okay hon. I know this has hit a lot of people very hard and that what’s going on is very upsetting on so many levels but you won’t always get answers you want from someone you don’t know and who risks their safety by speaking up.

Xoxo

[nerdyenby]

Orange time :D I’m watching Callum

Pregame

HBomb94 now wanted for murder, good for him ig

“That’s it, I’m taking matters into my own hands” terrifying, thanks Pete

Why is Callum talking about the availability of drugs in the United Kingdom???

I don’t even know how many people are in this call but all of them are bullying Callum lmao

“Habomba!!!” “It wasn’t me” “It says it was you!” “It’s a lie” “oh, sorry” them <333

Tubbo showing up and causing chaos is just as funny the second time

Tubbo realizing it’s May is even funnier the second time, I’m losing it

“Tubbo’s gone now” he’s freaking dead

Scott is such a guy, he has the intimidation factor while still being irrevocably likable

“That was the most eventful pre-MCC I’ve ever had” fr, I loved it so much

Tubbo gave Callum his stream key 😭😭😭

“Gotta be honest, I need your friendship more than I need $5k” and everyone going ‘um actually…’ 😂

Sausage asking to be sand daddy just because he wants to be called “daddy” 😂😂😂

WHAT is Shane and Callum’s dynamic here /pos

Rocket Spleef

Sausage’s explanation of his understanding isn’t wrong but it just sounds so off lol

Them just slandering all the other Minecraft events is so real, I’m sure they’re great but they’ll never be MCC <333

Everything Kara says gives Callum a flashback lol

Callum popped off!!

The MCC meta of alcohol 😂😂😂

The way the “reafy” predicting who won the game was actualy accurate

The way I didn’t think of Sausage and Callum as being in the same sphere but they have nearly the same friend group

We love them appreciating the lore :))

TGTTOSAWAF

Callum throwing his chicken in the middle being the deciding vote lmao

“I got 7th, thanks Shane” so true

Callum did so good for having never seen the map before

Yo Sausage!!!!

Tgttosawaf worst game real, it’s still good but comparatively it’s the least enjoyable

Sausage improving every round my beloved <333

Kara plotting revenge, as she should

Shane top three every time??? He’s inshane!!

When you put on the suit (purpled skin) you take on a burden greater than yourself (getting targeted)

Kara and Sausage noooooo

Your vote matters, Shane, cmon

Parkour Warrior

Graphic appreciation is so based <333

Shane’s keyboard 😭😭😭

The Hannah Montana movie reference lol

Whatever the heck Shane and Callum’s dynamic is, it’s everything

I know I’ve heard Sausage’s normal voice before but it caught me so off guard there lmao

It’s disgusting how easy this is for Callum

Finally, someone talking about the bees

HES DISGUSTING!!! /pos

HES TOO GOOD AT THE GAME!!!!

Kara 😂

The points are a lil silly, we move

Grid runners is not skippable, how dare you

Parkour Tag

Callum chickening out 😂😂😂

Sausage is giving such good comms!!

Nevermind lol

It sure is… going!!

Gosh darn it, when you see a “biggest comeback” breakdown blame Shane and Callum

I will NOT stand for this gr slander

Grid Runners

It’s not pronounced “boy,” there’s a u there for a reason lol

They’re killing it!!!

Kara accidentally cheating is killing me 😂

Those prison comms!!!!

First in Uppies!!!

“We’re so smart and big brain and maybe handsome” “We’re so handsome” so true sausage :))

One of my favorite things coming out of this MCC is everyone counting on the builders to know how to use scaffolding and them just saying “no, it SUCKS”

Consistency pog

Ok yeah, I just do not understand grid scoring

Callum’s predictions only take Ls

Kara and Shane having banger opinions

Meltdown

Shane leaking the script, rip

They played that so well!!

Callum jumping right into the lava lol

Head pat exchange at Vidcon Paris fr

Blue just appearing behind them was terrifying

Kara popping off!!!

Shane’s Kermit impression my beloved

Stay with the team Callum 😭😭😭

Purpled popping off

Survival Games

They just be makin’ sounds, so based of them tbh

“Your choice, you know I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth” Callum and Shane sure are dudes, pals even

HOW did Callum make it out of that alive lmao

“We were tenth and we’re not tenth anymore” “There’s still time, king!!” so true

Sands of Time

Shane stopping everything to say hi HBomb, so based

Callum they/them truthing Kara??

Callum “All Things MCC” PK didn’t know there’s a grace period with the sand timer? L /lh

How is he so bad at sot

I love Callum, I swear, he’s just so easy to make fun of

Sausage has such good comms for a first time sand keeper :))

They have so much sand what the heck

It is physically painful how many times Callum has looked directly at that one piece of sand

I love all the field trips this MCC, so many groups traveling together :D

The carpet trails in this blu path are insane, I’d love to study it under a microscope /pos

“Scott about to have to pay all the shipping to Spain” that’s such a good point actually, though I think shipping to America is probably more lol

Sausage did amazing!!! We love his team hyping him up :)))

Dodgebolt

I love seeing everyone rooting for red :D

That is just… not true, Kara 😂😂😂

So true Callum, the void hole in the merch store was peak mcm energy

Sausage for mcc spanish team 2k23

TIL Sausage was Cuban, though tbf I’ve never watched him before and I thought he was from Spain for some reason

This team was so fun :)))

Capitan is a menace /pos

Sausage’s Oli impression 😂

The game ended and they all collectively lost their minds, as they should

CALLUM SMACKTALKING GRID RUNNERS?!??

Shane and Callum sending Tubbo their stream keys and asking Scott if he’d do the same and his response being “God no”

[dykesynthezoid]

ooo 3, 13, and 14 👀

let’s gooooo

I tried to edit this down but it’s still extremely long. I’m not sorry

3. Screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

Oh but there’s so many. So, so many. Truly an unending amount.

A somewhat funny but overwhelmingly bizarre take I’ve seen is that when fandom has a female character they don’t like, they just decide to claim she’s homophobic??? Lmao?? Like they’re both so invested in all their gay ships and also hate her so much for not being 100% accommodating to everyone else at all times that their solution is to claim that. She must be the token straight who’s also a homophobe.

It’s always the same type of female character too btw. “Katara is homophobic” “Nancy Wheeler is homophobic” “Sam is homophobic” literally people hate women SO MUCH and the shit they have to come up with to justify it can be honestly fascinating. People will see a girl who has been even slightly bossy or headstrong or complicated once in their fucking lives and decide she’s the most evil bitch to ever exist. Like get over yoursellllffff!!! It’s SO embarassing for them

13. Worst blorbofication

Any blorbofication that 1. completely sandpapers any interesting flaws or nuance, 2. entirely invents positive or sympathetic traits that the character does not actually possess; these treats are frequently stolen from other characters within the same media, but who are in some way marginalized and therefore fans ~just can’t put their finger on it, but they don’t like them as much as their blorbo for some reason… But here’s all the character traits they stole from them and gave to their blorbo to make the blorbo seem cooler, of course

(Bro people will literally see a female character or a character of color with an interesting trait and go “YOINK!” and just slap it onto their boring white guy blorbo)

I would say an example of the first type, though, is Terry Silver. I don’t think it’s strange at all to feel affection for his character or be fascinated by him. I mean, look at him. There’s some wacky shit going on there, how can you not be fascinated? I do think it’s strange to build up a thing in your head where he’s always the victim, nothing is really his fault, he can’t be blamed, poor poor Terry he’s so sad and lonely, etc. Like idk maybe he wouldn’t be so lonely if he weren’t Terrible To Be Around because he actively enjoys hurting people. And I like that about him! I like that he’s so campily evil!!!

Anyway just let him be a fucked up little weirdo!! It’s what makes him interesting!! He’s literally a psycho biddy mixed with a byronic hero in the shape of the campiest gay villains imaginable, love and cherish him as he is.

19. That one thing you see in fics all the time

Hmm. Okay. So. I have a couple of these; one I truly dislike and another I just tend to note and go “hmm, interesting.” Let’s start with the more controversial one.

So. There’s such a thing in TKK and CK as canon-typical racism, right? It’s a reality that exists in both. And I think it would be wrong to expect any author, regardless of race, to just wholly ignore that, because again, it’s a reality of the story (and of the real world).

However. Would it be nice if people could let you know when the story is going to be full of slurs? Yeah, I think it would.

I understand why and how those are things that end up needing to be touched on. I don’t think authors should have to censor themselves in that aspect. But also; there’s such a flippancy, in how sooo many ck and tkk authors approach using those things in their stories. And I think it’s really fucking easy to be flippant, right, if it doesn’t affect you, if you’re not a part of the race that’s being targeted, and especially if you’re white. Of course it doesn’t seem like a big deal.

I also think people seem to genuinely somehow forget that someone could read what they’ve written and be triggered by it. Like. As if; in particular; Asian people don’t exist or wouldn’t be reading their stories??? It’s very strange. And it’s so easy to put in a little warning! It’s so easy! And why wouldn’t people be sensitive about something like that, when fandom racism can be so rampant on a broader scale?

And you could say oh, well people should expect that content because it’s in the source material. But like… we all regularly tag and warn for things as milquetoast as say, underage drinking. Which is also in the source material. So I’m really not getting how popping a quick content warning for canon-typical racism is so difficult.

(I also think some people genuinely seem to forget; or don’t care; about the history and trauma that comes attached to certain derogatory terms and slurs. “J*p” should not be something you are just throwing into your fic for fun. You need to have really thought about why you’re putting it there, the purpose it’s serving, what you’re saying about the character who says it).

On a slightly lighter note! Something I see all the time in Lawrusso fics (and sometimes other M/M fics with Daniel as well) is people just sort of struggling to figure out what to do with Amanda. And I’m not trying to condemn that, at least not altogether.

And I certainly prefer the current trend of her being supportive and finding any developments hilarious to the earlier portrayals of her just being the villain for no reason. But also, just leaving her in the wingwoman position and not bothering to add any dimension there can leave her very flat, and it’s a position female characters get put in often in regards to M/M ships.

One solution is of course in going the poly route, because it usually necessitates at least a little bit of rumination on Amanda’s perspective. But even then there’s no guarantee people add any dimension to her.

And of course; we’re speaking in trends here. This isn’t an issue of individual preference, or a pursuit in lambasting anyone on their personal work; it’s a discussion of something much larger.

I don’t think Amanda should somehow have to be an extremely nuanced focal point in every M/M Daniel fic (that’s just not possible, for one, lmao). But when people do choose to include her in a major way, I think it’s good to stop and consider how you can add a little depth or nuance. I mean, I’ve had to struggle with that myself, and I’m never really sure if I’ve succeeded or not. But I thought about it, and I kept it in mind, and I think even that can make a difference.

I myself often go the divorce route in writing her; although it. Usually doesn’t even have anything to do with what Daniel and Johnny are doing? It’s just that I think Amanda deserves to be with someone who’s not obsessed with karate. And I like Damanda, and I love Daniel, but like. Idk man! It’s a whole lot! And I think anyone could get tired of it. She quite literally did not sign up for that. And if you think her being Daniel’s wife puts her under some kind of obligation to always be understanding and always take his side and never question him; well. Ew, frankly. Just because Daniel also deserves support doesn’t mean she has to be on the same page as him or she’s a bad wife.

She’s literally her own person!! Let her be her own person!!!

(Literally I wish I could pay for her and Carmen to just go on a long fucking vacation. Let them have a fucking break and have mind-blowing gay sex away from all the karate nonsense and their identities as partners and mothers. What if they were just two hot perimenopausal women with complex inner lives and complicated pasts experiencing life together on a beach in Cabo. Y’know. And they could have a time together that’s about them, they’re the point, they haven’t somehow been relegated to a background pairing. And also there’s the gay sex).

(I think I got off track. What was I talking about? Oh, right.)

I think how quickly my mind will shove Daniel and Johnny out of way the moment Amanda and Carmen appear IS #feminism tbh. Like they might as well not exist to me when Amanda and Carmen are onscreen together, or when a story’s supposed to be about them. Daniel who? I’ve never heard of him. Also I think people should write long, beautiful Carmanda fics and then tag Lawrusso just bc they appear in the background for five seconds. I think it would be hilarious.

[bandluvr97]

mbb 🎅

Oh my job is very boring, I have a fancy title but it's mostly the grunt work of making sure everyone else can do their job, and tomorrow I'm background support for a big party. You've got to have a more interesting job/studies, or at least better Saturday plans, so how's it going in your life?

Changkyun really saw Shownu and Wonho leave and said "I guess I'll be the sexy one... a heavy burden to carry, but I'll do it... no need to thank me..." like he has the chest to compete with them. But we love to see a bad bitch thrive, so I support it. "They wouldn't let me put Hot As F in the song, so I made it Fahrenheit and they did" BRO! (but then his vocals in Shape of Love meant I had to forgive him for all his weird explanations of his lyrics)

They're such good dancers it's annoying, seeing the "Fantasia" dance for the first time??? Or the way they pistol squat in "Shoot Out" before jumping back up to keep singing??? And they do everything in such perfect sync, which just makes it so gratifying to watch, they have some of my favorite dance breaks. And then their producers are so good, I'm glad Wonho still gets to work with that team, too (hopefully also Changkyun for his solo work, but Wooki's really good and they killed Duality).

I've never heard of the Post It Note movement, what's that? It's just so great that he dropped his emotional ballad and then said OH YOU THOUGHT! before dropping the slut (honorific) anthem that is "Open Mind".

Do you listen to other groups, too? Is MX your favorite, or someone else, or are you more evenly spread out between groups?

Hey love ❤️ hope your doing well and having a chill day before work! You got this lol is it a supervisor position or is it another type of work? Lol ooooo office party!!!! What do you need to prepare for the party? What is the theme? Lol! If you count grocery shopping and watching movies/bl shows as better plans then sure lol in terms of studies I graduated in June of this year and have just been working full time lol the people and the office is great! Life is chill for now I’m living with my family to get my things together and just taking it one day at a time lol also had some fun online dating but nothing much happened with that lol wbu? What’s going on in your life?

Lmao!! He really went “I got this I’ll give you guys a break and I’ll make sure our fans are never the same after this” and it worked lol who was he planning on targeting with that outfit for the mma’s a few weeks ago when he wore nothing but leather pants, a tiddie vest and jacket like sir!!!!! Your going to give fans a scare and make them horny all in the same day 😂😂 and honestly I am here for those vibes lol and then don’t get me started on honey because he’s all dimples and then he channels his mode and it just kicks us off on the WOAH THERE train 😂😂 I firmly believe that everyone in that group is a duality king and we Stan lol

Aren’t they amazing at everything they do?!?! Like they are models, actors, dj stuff, artists, vocalists, clothing designers (yes I’m looking at you kihyun) and then they are just genuine squishes and it’s so wholesome 👍👍👍👍 oh lawd don’t get me started on the pistol squat from shootout that was phenomenal!!!!! Did you see the shootout dance break at mama in 2018? That was one of the best dance breaks I’ve ever seen them preform (and the jumpsuits were stunning) and I’m sure they will still get to preform together even though changkyun is not with sse anymore but my god thank god wonho is still there tbh that was a relief lol

What happened with the post it note thing was in 2019 he was blamed for allegedly smoking weed with a girl who he was friends with (the girl blamed him and she was doing that to a lot of idols for many years and was even in jail because it got too far for her) so he left the group at that time and he was just really broken since then and so the fandom wanted to make sure he knew that he was loved and appreciated and we wanted him to come back so bad so fans all over the world left messages on post it notes outside of the sse building so he could see it and he didn’t pop up for six months after that lol then when he was officially back to normal he took some pictures with post it notes so we knew that he saw it and appreciated it (thanks for coming to the ted talk lmao) he really said OH YOU THOUGHT I WAS DONE???? Hell to the no!!!!! Imma wear as much crop tops and booty shorts that I can possibly manage 😂😂😂was there other wonho songs you like to listen to?

Yeah I do like to listen to other groups! I would consider myself to be a multi stan 😂😂 I have my ultimate groups like monsta x, bts, ateez and black pink and then I was exploring some other groups like nct, exo, super junior, some shinee, ever glow, dream catcher, and some others lol I also like to listen to non kpop stuff too like Harry styles, one direction, Jonas brothers, why don’t we, Ed Sheeran and some other groups lol wbu?

[smellslikemultifandomimagines]

I have a request for a smut for Mitch Rapp and a fem!reader: basically enemies to lovers. They (think they) hate each other but in reality they just REALLY wanna shag each other (Stan kinda suspects it). The seggssual tension between them grew to the point where neither can take it anymore and they shag! That's it for the plot. Feel free to make it the filthiest piece of filth that has ever seen the filth of day. They can punch the other, kick the other, pull the others hair! I am a okay with either of them getting staped. Biting and scratching are on the table. They can use fire... I hope you can turn this to a smut for me. I really enjoy reading your smuts!

also:

pairing: mitch rapp x fem!reader

warnings: smut → seggsual tension that can be cut with a knife, oral (male receiving), degrading kink, rough penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it).

word count: 1.4k

a/n: ahh omg i love the b9-9 reference!!

+ i've added this other request here too bc they had the same vibe to it - hope that's okay anon!

++ also [y/l/n] means your last name (but i think we've all read fanfics long enough to know that lmao)

•:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:• ☾ ☼ ☽ •:•.•:•.•:•:•:•:•:•:•:•

requests for the sleepover are open🖤!

request guidelines here✨!

smut night masterlist

🌻masterlist🌻

taking in Mitch’s attire for the first time that night, it was apparent to you that Mitch was quite the attractive man.

But Mitch rapp was anything but attractive. He was repulsive. Rude. Had nearly gotten you killed so many times on a mission due to his inability to stick to plans, especially if they were made by you.

His tie hangs lose around the white collared button down shirt. His blazer thrown onto the couch that he planned to sleep on. Stan suggested that you share a room, never knowing nor predicting when the bad guys could attack. It was better, and safer, for the two of you to stay together.

Slipping the tie from around his neck, he throws it to wear his blazer lays, his eyes darting up to you. You, sitting cross-legged on the bed, quickly averted eye contact. You hear a slight huff of amusement coming from him, which only makes you roll your eyes. God, what you would do to share a room with literally anyone but him.

Your pj shirt hung low on your chest - almost a little bit too low. Mitch, for only a second, glances at your cleavage. His mind wanders into places he’s never really though that hard about before. He wanders what it would be like to suck those perfect tits of yours. If it wasn’t for the tv, he would’ve made an awkward coughing sound to release some of the built up tension in the room. You can feel the tension too. Building and building. The room getting hotter with each breath you took. You stand from the bed, going over to the small tea station to turn on the kettle.

“Want some tea?” You ask, not daring to look at him. For some unknown reason, you’re afraid to.

“sit.” He demands, his eyes glaring into you with such intensity. You return the glare, clenching your jaw as he nods to the bed.

“Why?”

“We need to talk about what happened today-"

“We have nothing to talk about. You did your usual shit and I did mine.”

“Don’t speak to me like that.”

“Like what? At least I’m not the one trying to get us all killed,” you spat, folding your arms over your chest. Mitch stalks over to you, his eyes dark with lust.

“Say that again. I dare you,” his voice is so low, you’re not sure if it scares you or turns you on.

“You always try to get us killed. That’s why your plans never work." you try so hard not to falter your voice, but he’s making it so difficult when he’s standing in front of you, with such a dominant demeanour, you thought you might as well submit to him now. He knocks your legs apart with his knee.

“Same could be said about you. Just remember that,” he growls in your ear. Without thinking, you grab him by the collar and thrash him down on the bed beside you. You stable him, pinning his wrists beside his head.

“Now, miss feisty. Might want to save your energy for tomorrow,” he chuckles, not even the least surprised that you’ve just done that.

“Don’t patronise me, rapp. You’re lucky I don’t just kill you now,” you purr in his ear, feeling his hips knock against yours. The feeling of his hardening cock poking at your thigh is something you’d never thought you’d ever get to experience with him.

Mitch flips you over, you know the grip on your wrist is going to bruise. "don't forget that i'm just as capable, darling."

roughly, he pushes off you, unzipping the pants of his suit. His jaw clenched, skin so hot and heated you can see the veins protruding through his hands.

"suck." he demands through gritted teeth. Your jaw drops as you just stare at him. he couldn't be serious? His eyebrows raise in anticipation - the same look he gives our targets when they try and plead their case to let them live.

You sigh, pushing yourself off the bed and onto the floor. Your hand pumps his cock up and down slowly, wanting to test the waters a little bit - or so you told yourself.

"[y/n], dont." he spits out, roughly gripping your hair in a makeshift ponytail. Without needing to be told twice, you take him in your mouth, gagging as he thrusts into your mouth. he couldn't even for a second let you be in control. typical man.

You bob your head faster, moaning around him at the tight grip he still has in your hair.

"you like when im rough with you, huh? you dirty little slut." His jaw clenches as you clasp your hand around his wrist. "get up."

you do as you're told, and stand on your feet. Roughly and hasty, he practically rips your pjs off before pushing you on the bed.

"don't make me get the tie, [y/l/n]," he smirks as he hovers over you. You gulp and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a rough kiss. He may be on top, but you can still be in charge.

HIs hand snakes down between your bodies, teasing and toying at your clit. He pinches it gently, clenching his jaw to restrain a dark laugh as you breathe heavily against him, not wanting to make a sound. you were not about to give him that satisfaction.

his calloused fingertips circle heavenly around your clit. He wants you to at least let out one moan, and he was going to make you do it - whatever it takes.

He leans back, eyes burning into your soul as he watches you. You bite your tongue from within your mouth, restraining every ounce of your body to not contort in pleasure.

"i could make this easy for you, you know. you're choice," he arches an eyebrow in amusement, his finger slipping into your entrance with such ease.

"oh please," you scoff, rolling your eyes in annoyance - although you're sure it was from the pleasure rather than his haughtiness.

"fine," he practically rips his hand away, you bottom lip immediately receding into your teeth to control the whines that wanted to come out. He wasted no time in lining himself up at your entrance. You look at him with pleading eyes, to which he catches before he slides in.

His thrusts are slow at first, wanting to tease you as much as possible.

"oh come on. even i can do better than that," you challenge, pushing him off before straddling his hips. You sink down on him, his hands on your ass. He kneads them before slapping hard as you bottom out. An unexpected yelp slips from you, followed a dark chuckle comes from him.

You bounce roughly on him, leaning back on your hands as they rest on his thighs. His hands trail all over your body, wanting to explore very inch possible. He'd never admit it, to himself or especially you, but he's always wanted to do this. So of course, he's not wasting any opportunity. as far as you've both silently agreed, this is a one time thing.

Mitch slaps your breast, causing another yelp to escape from your swollen and desperate lips. You sink all the way down on his cock until he's completely inside you, before gyrating your hips. Both of you moan loudly, the pleasure feeling all too right to not let out a sound.

Roughly, mitch picks you up and places you on the bed next to him before he holds your legs up to his chest. He thrusts into you and fucks you hard - slow, but hard.

"fuck, oh my god," you give in to the pleasure, his cock feeling all too good not to.

"see, that wasn't so hard was it?" Mitch's malicious teasing causes you to roll your eyes but once again let out a moan. the wall takes it from the bedframe, thumping intensively with each hard thrust of his hips. Both of you couldn't control your moans, and it was only a matter of time before the next door guests came knocking on the door to complain.

The two of you are close - much closer than either of you liked to be. Mitch knew it too, from the way you clenched around his cock, you moans becoming louder and more high-pitched. He spreads your legs apart, which you gracelessly wrapped around his waist to draw him in closer. His hand, once again slips between you both and rubs your clit in circles.

"mitch..." you breathe, scratching your nails mercilessly down his back.

"let it go, babygirl," he grunts before leaning down towards you ear. "at least i'll have the satisfaction of making you cum."

"don't get too cocky now. I'm still not finished with you yet."

[tickly-trashcan]

Hashira Headcanons

ahhh I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now!! finally getting around to it hehe so I hope everyone enjoys these! I had a lot of fun with them~ They’re also pretty long so they’re under the cut! I’m still working through headcanon requests I’ve just been really into demon slayer lately and wanted to get something quick out~

Giyuu Tomioka

he’s surprisingly ticklish?? like not screaming at a poke ticklish but more ticklish than one would expect

He’s also good at hiding it so not many people find out

That is, not many people knew until Shinobu found out and decided to point it out in front of all the other Hashira

When he was still training, he got tickled by Urokodaki a lot when he was training, and then by Sabito and Makomo when they were resting

He would always tickle Makomo and Sabito back (even though he ended up losing the eventual tickle fight anyway) but now he doesn’t really tickle people

He’s seen a lot and doesn’t laugh much, let alone smile

That said, some of the other Hashira tickle him sometimes, though it’s mostly Shinobu and Uzui, occassionally a poke from Mitsuri

It’s normally not enough to get him laughing, just enough to embarrass him though

Shinobu has gotten him to chuckle once and she’s never let him live it down

His most ticklish spots are probably his knees, sides, and his ribs

He almost never tickles other people, like he’s tickled Tanjiro once and it was very brief and accidental

I think he needs to laugh more though so like,,, get him Shinobu >:)

Shinobu Kochou

She’s really ticklish omfg 

She also has the prettiest laugh? it’s so elegant waaaa

Her tickle spots are her tummy, sides and waist!

Not many people know she’s ticklish, aside from Mitsuri and a few people at the Butterfly Estate

When Kanao found out she was ticklish she flipped her coin and it was tails, so she decided to tickle Shinobu a little bit and she just let it happen because she knew that Kanao didn’t have any ill intent with it

Giyuu tickled her once because she was tickling him and she wasn’t expecting it and squeaked it was pretty funny

She has the MEANEST teases omggg

“Surely this doesn’t tickle, hmm? It does? Oh my... but you’re a demon slayer right? What if a tickle demon came after you~?”

She’s just,,, ruthless man

She also love love lovesss those gentle tickles when she’s dishing out on people

She can find peoples bad spots easily and just go after them with her NAILS

She and Mitsuri get into tickle fights on occassion, but Shinobu normally wins because she can fluster Mitsuri easily and combined with the gentle nail tickles, Mitsuri’s a goner

She has lost sometimes though because Mitsuri’s really damn strong and when she gets on Shinobu’s sides her chances of winning go down dramatically

Kyojuro Rengoku

Rengoku, my beloved

He’s really not that ticklish, like he can get laughing or chuckling but it’s not easy

He only has a few spots, and I feel like one of them would definitely be his underarms

Like some of the other Hashira like Mitsuri or Shinobu have come up behind him and tried to tickle him and he’s like “Oh? A tickle fight? Cool!” and just pounces on them lmao

He’s definitely more of a ler than a lee, and he’s a really nice ler!

He compliments his lee, teasing on rare occassion and is just overall really fun and gentle too

Sometimes he can get a little rough but he always knows when to tone it back a little

He’s tickled the trio a little bit, especially Tanjiro who’s basically like his apprentice since he uses a similar breathing technique

He also tickles the other Hashira sometimes, mostly accidentally but other times just because he wants to

When he tickles people it’s mostly Mitsuri (which he gets glares from Obanai because of) and Shinobu, Obanai on occassion because of said glaring and just generally wanting to hear him laugh

He’s super playful in general but he’ll stop when asked to because he respects peoples limits

Tengen Uzui

Okay another one that’s not very ticklish unless you get really specific spots lol

He’s ruthless as a ler, and he’s seldom the lee so he doesn’t understand peoples limits and stuff

He has the LOUDEST laugh once you get him going though, part of it is just him being overdramatic though

His tickle spots are his hips and his ears, two spots that are harder to get oof

Similar to Rengoku he’s pretty playful, but most of that is because he’s just generally flamboyant

He doesn’t tickle people too often, but he has definitely put a target on people like Giyuu and Sanemi lol rip them

He’ll tickle people until they’re hiccuping or in silent hysterics, he’s one of the people that doesn’t really register the word “stop”

That said he’s nicer with people he likes, such as Mitsuri or Rengoku because of their upbeat nature

He likes people he deems flamboyant enough, and since those two meet the requirements he’s nicer to them when it comes to tickling

Muichiro Tokito

SWEET BABY BOY

okay so he’s actually really ticklish?? it’s so cute pls

He deserves gentle, sweet, and loving tickles, not the evil rough ones from Uzui lmao

Lighter tickles get him better than rough tickles anyway and he prefers when people are more gentle with him because he’s not a huge fan of being touched unless he really trusts the person

He’s ticklish pretty much everywhere, but some of his worse spots are his ribs, underarms and his neck

Teases don’t work on him, he’s completely oblivious to them lmao

He has the sweetest little giggle awww the other Hashira love to tickle him every so often just because he’s so cute and his face gets a little red too

He doesn’t really like being tickled unless it’s his friends or the other Hashira because he has respect for people closer to him

Mitsuri and Rengoku tickle him the most often, sometimes even together just to make him at least smile

He doesn’t tickle people very often because he knows if he initiates it with any of the other Hashira he’ll end up getting wrecked lol

He’s tried it before with Rengoku, never again

Mitsuri Kanroji

MITSURI KANROJI MY BELOVED

Super ticklish, absolute baby, deserves it just for being so cute

Her tickle spots are her tummy, hips, and her ribs!

She’s generally very ticklish and just loves tickling, both dishing it and taking

She likes to tickle Obanai and Muichiro especially, but she’s tickled pretty much every pillar or at least tried to

She has the CUTEST laugh it’s like,, a bit squeaky and snorty but in the most endearing and adorable way? idk maybe i’m biased because I love her but she’s definitely got a cute laugh

She’s really teasy and she doesn’t even mean to be, she just loves to laugh along with her lee and watch their face go red

She’s very squirmy and giggly when people tickle her and she’s the type to start laughing when people just wiggle their fingers at her

her favorite person to tickle is probably Obanai because she just thinks his reactions are really cute and she loves his laugh, but Muichiro and Shinobu are also people she likes to tickle hehe

If she has access and is close enough with the person she’s definitely the type to give people raspberries

Obanai Iguro

grrr this is gonna be so biased i love him too much

He’s very ticklish but he’s really good at controlling his reactions as long as he’s not caught off-guard 

His most ticklish spots are his hips, thighs, and his knees ouuGH

He has a really raspy laugh if anyone manages to get him to that point, for the most part he just gasps and chuckles occasionally

He’s not tickled very often and not even all the Hashira know he’s ticklish, only Mitsuri, Rengoku, and Gyomei really know that he’s ticklish and even then only Mitsuri and Rengoku actively tickle him when they’re not around the other Hashira

He’s really embarrassed with how ticklish he is so he doesn’t like people knowing, and the three that know respect that and don’t tell others

He doesn’t like being tickled either but he doesn’t seem to mind when Mitsuri does it but you definitely didn’t hear that from me hehe

Kaburamaru doesn’t mean to but sometimes he will like slither on Obanai’s neck and DAMN that tickles more than it should but he’s gotten a little bit more used to it as time has gone on

that said he still jumps a little bit if Kaburamaru does it really suddenly or quickly, or flicks his tongue near his ear or neck

Gyomei Himejima

He’s not very ticklish and doesn’t tickle people very often, so he’s left out most of the time when it comes to tickle stuff :(

There was one rare occassion, it was probably because Muichiro had been tired from a mission but Gyomei picked him up to help him to bed and accidentally tickled the poor boy 

Of course, that led to a few gentle tickles as well, not enough to make him hysterical but just enough to make him giggle a little bit before falling asleep

Gyomei’s probably ticklish on his feet and his knees, spots that others normally don’t tickle and he probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish

Mitsuri and Rengoku, even Uzui have tried tickling him before but they don’t get much of a reaction so they’ve kinda given up on tickling him

Of course they invite him to help tickle someone else, like if they’re ganging up on Giyuu or Sanemi, and every now and then he’ll join in

He’s very gentle, he’s almost over concious of whether or not he’s hurting someone so his touches are very soft and people hardly ever feel them sometimes

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Not ticklish. at all

Even after he’s been tickled to tears by multiple people, he’ll never admit it

He hates it, he’s never liked it and definitely doesn’t like it now

He never initiates it and doesn’t tickle other people very often, but he’s like a toddler when he gets tickled he just turns into putty

He kicks and flails and throws threats out left and right, but he never acts on them because he’s too tired afterwards from kicking and screaming and laughing to actually enact any of his threats

His spots are under his arms and his ribs, specifically his upper ribs

He falls into hysterics pretty quickly just because he’s a drama queen but we still love him lol

He’s a bit,,, vengeful, but he doesn’t like to tickle other people that much

That said, the demon slayer code says that you can’t attack another demon slayer so he kinda has to tickle to get back

He’s a really hard tickler, he’s not good at it and it kinda hurts sometimes and he’s picky and choosy with who he actually gets revenge with

sometimes he’s really mean and gets revenge on someone who was walking by and is like “This is what you get for not helping me!” and its like what did they do?? literally nothing chill out Sanemi pls

He does target Giyuu sometimes though just because he’s an asshole lmao and he has like a vendetta against Giyuu for, again, literally no reason

That’s all I have for now, thanks for reading! 

pspsp if you wanna request any other demon slayer headcanons my requests for headcanons are open heheh~

[sugas-sweetheart]

Hi! Can I request headcannons for a soulmate AU for Bakugo and Sero with a fem reader? An AU where everyone has a timer on their wrist counting down to the second they meet their soulmate? Thank you!

A/N: ahh yes! I love a soulmate au 🥰 and I’m always up for Sero content - I’m sorry that it’s been a few months since this was requested but I’m working through requests before I go back to irl school! proof reading is for cowards apparently bc i felt like just posting these lmao

Countdowns

Bakugou Katsuki

I feel like people would expect Bakugou to not care much about the timer on his wrist but really it plagues his mind. In a good way, and sometimes a bad way.

He checks it constantly when he’s alone in his room studying or about to go to sleep, and on sleepless nights

He sneaks a look at it during class most days

When he was young he figured out what day the timer would run out and now that it’s reached a few weeks away he’s scared

But he’s also very excited.

Having strong attachments sometimes gave heroes strength, but it would also be a weakness and his biggest fear was hurting his soulmate due to his occupation of choice. 

What if they were taken as a hostage? they would take the one person that he’s been excited to meet for years and use that attachment against him. 

It would give him motivation to work, he would want to be able to protect you, if you ever needed it

Ahe timer was ticking and his anxieties and worries were still growing. He was still a teenager, he was still in the hero course. 

Would his soulmate like heroes? Is he going to live an unconventional life and have to betray his soulmate because they’re a villain? Maybe they were a hero as well? Were you older? Younger? 

His morning started out okay, a little more annoying than usual. 

His friends procrastination and antics led to him yelling at them to not be late 

And in a slightly annoyed mood he left before them to get to class early. 

He had almost forgotten that today would be the day he meets his soulmate in his rush but the thought still lingered in the back of his mind. 

Adjusting his school uniform to see his timer, his eyes widened at the mere seconds that were left and ticking down quickly 

He swore that he hadn’t seen anyone else in the corridor with him before he looked down so who was he meant to be meeting? 

Unknown to the boy with the explosion quirk, you had just come out of one of the rooms along the corridor after being given directions to your new classroom, 2B, where one of your new classmates, Kendo, would show you to your dorm and around the school’s facilities. 

Your first reaction was to think that Kendo might be your soulmate, depending on how long the directions would take for you to follow. 

But in your clouded mind of watching the timer tick down whilst trying to memorise the directions given to you, you didn’t notice the blonde that was also walking towards you. 

A fairly harsh force knocked you back and made you stop in the corridor, scared and excited to look up because your timer had just glowed slightly as it faded back to black with only zeros left. 

Bakugou hesitated to look up for a few awkward seconds before clearing his throat and directing his eyes back up from his wrist to see who his soulmate really was. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you around here before? I’m Bakugou Katsuki, from class 2A” 

You looked up to meet his eyes and give the blonde in front of you a look over, he was cute and seemed slightly flustered. 

“I’m new, transferring into 2B today, I guess I’ll see you around, Bakugou”

“Do I even get to know the name of my soulmate?”

“Meet me at lunch and maybe you can find out, soulmate”

Sero Hanta 

Sero would be very excited from when he was young 

He would constantly check his timer as if it would magically run out quicker the more he watched it, because time definitely worked like that

He had dreamt about it since he was a kid, finally having the one, someone who would love him forever because he’s him and no one else. 

He never thought about if you were to be a villain, he’d find a way to work around it either way, to make you two work, you were meant for each other after all. 

Many of his friends had found their soulmates during high school, but he was set to meet his during his first couple years as a professional hero. 

Being a young hero, aged 20, and only being out of UA’s hero course for just over a year, he had to work hard to work his way up until he made a large enough name for himself to set up his own agency, or to open one with his group of friends.

Knowing that he was destined to meet  his soulmate during his hero work meant that he had a few worries along with it. 

Was he meant to save you? Were you a villain? and while he promised himself he would make it work even if his soulmate was a villain.There were strict hero rules surrounding the situation in which your soulmate was a villain. 

Hoping that it was the former and that he was to save you, it was a drive for him. 

You gave him a reason to work hard, without even knowing each other. 

He knew you were out there somewhere and he wanted to be able to protect you as best he could and he put his all into training. 

What he didn’t expect when he went the entirety of his high school years not meeting you, was for you to also be a hero. 

It was a big mission that they had been planning for days and collecting surveillance and data on the targets, and his agency would be teaming up with two others to take down one of the largest powerhouse groups of villains. 

Upon meeting the other agency that were helping them surround the stronghold, he was taken to meet up with the others that heavily involved in the case. 

Being in his hero suit it was difficult for him to remember how many minutes and seconds were left before he put it on, because all day he had been scared of you being a citizen caught in the crossfire or on the villains side. 

Upon being taken to a group near the back where there stood Fatgum, Tamaki, Kirishima and an unknown hero he stopped in his tracks after locking eyes with you, the unknown hero. 

Kirishima, about to greet his friend quickly realised why you were simply staring at each other because he had calmed the both of you separately at some point in the last 24 hours before this mission when worrying about who your soulmate was going to be. 

He laughed lightly at his two friends and pulled the others away gently to let you two talk. 

“So, you felt the timer run out too?”  He was still slightly stunned. 

“Yeah.” 

“Would you want to get dinner and get to know each other after this missions finished?”

“I think I’d love that, cellophane.”

taglist: @justamultifandomfan16 @shoutamajiki @meliorist-midoriya @goopyartiste @yee-harr @bizzoldmann-08 @katsushimaa @mystic-helena @spookykiri @hannahalanib1 @boosyboo9206 @derpeedoo @sazunari

[ijenoyou]

Out of my league.

kun x reader.

summary; he always admired from afar but not this time.

requested. send one!

warnings; none haha i mean it includes mentions of gummy bears lol fluff and humor.

notes; sooooo i’m sorry this took so long to finally post (˃̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣ ) but i was quite busy with school (it’s kicking my ass lol) anyways remember english isn’t my first language sooo ignore the mistakes if you see one lmao

Kun was always the one between all his friends that only admired girls from afar. Of course not in a weird way, he likes to admire the beauty of each one of them and later on forget about it.

But he couldn’t forget about you.

You were a new transferred student who happens to be best friends with his own friend, Lucas.

Kun first saw you at the mini gathering Lucas was doing at his apartment. When he entered his friends home he saw you sitting next to Sicheng, talking about which color of gummy bears tastes better.

“Yellow is the best one.” You said while taking one of the bag you were holding.

“You’re crazy! They taste so bad, red ones are the winner here.” Sicheng defended his posture on the argument making you roll your eyes faking annoyance.

You were about to speak again until Kun interrupted you.

“I think the yellow ones are tasty.” He softly spoke making you and Sicheng turn towards him.

He didn’t know what overcame him to speak out like that. He was always sitting in silence while hearing his friends talk, but not this time.

When he didn’t get any answer he started to regret his decision until you smiled.

“See? He knows about good taste.” You pushed your friend with your shoulders and stood up from your sitting position. “I’m Y/N.”

Kun made sure his hands weren’t sweaty before taking yours in between his.

“Kun.”

Sicheng watched the whole scene with a weird expression on his face, he turned his head towards Lucas who was busy playing tetris on his phone, he pinched his arm to get his attention.

“Ow! What was that for?” Lucas answered and started to rub his arm, trying to calm the burning he felt from Sicheng’s fingers.

“Look at them.” He whispered and nodded towards you and his quiet friend.

“What about them?”

“What about them?! Kun never talks to girls out of the blue and Y/N never smiles to boys like she just did with him.”

After saying that, Lucas’s eyes widened. He snapped his head upwards and searched for the both of you. He found you next to Kun at the kitchen counter, making a drink that included those disgusting yellow gummy bears you liked so much.

“Oh god.” He whispered to Sicheng. “I’ve never seen her like that.”

“I know!” Sicheng answered with excitement.

He knew you way before Lucas, you and him were neighbors since baby’s and stayed friends all this time. So he definitely knows how you react around other guys.

You always tried to be polite but never gave them a single smile or stuff like that. You only did that with Sicheng and Lucas since they were practically your only friends alongside your roommate. They always joked about how you hate men and that the day you smile at one for real that will be because he’s the love of your life.

“I didn’t know Kun has a girlfriend.” Xiaojun said making Lucas and Sicheng flinch.

“Yeah, they look cute.” Ten answered and placed his hand on Xiaojun’s back.

“How did you guys get in?” Lucas questioned with surprise.

Ten pointed towards the other couch in the room, Hendery was playing red hands with Yangyang.

“Yang opened the door for us.” Ten said while taking one green gummy bear out of Sicheng’s bag.

“But how did they got in? They weren’t here before!”

Before anyone could say anything a strong laugh could be heard in the whole place. The six boys turned their heads and saw you and Kun laughing loudly at something he was showing you on his phone.

“Okay! Why don’t we play a game while waiting for our food?” Lucas asked everyone, grabbing your and Kun’s attention.

And that’s how you ended up almost choking Ten for hiding his uno cards by sitting on top of them so he could win. Two hours went by and it was time for you to leave.

“Damn i’m so full.” Hendery spoke while trying to keep his eyes open. “I’m getting food coma.”

You patted his head. “Good luck with that.”

You stretched your arms and decided to start putting your shoes on.

“Well, it’s was nice but I have to go back to my place, Wendy needs help with a project.”

You said goodbye to everyone and before you could say anything to Kun he decided to speak first.

“I’ll walk you.” A blush spread on your cheeks and the boys didn’t fail to notice it but said nothing about it.

“Don’t worry Kun.” You smiled and placed the hood of your hoodie on your head. “I live a few flats from here but if you one day want to come by just let me know.”

“Sure.” Kun tried to suppress a smile and nodded.

“Okay then, I’ll see you tomorrow guys!” That was the last thing you said before leaving.

The whole place was silent. Until Kun turned and saw all of his friends holding each other trying not to scream.

“What?” He asked.

“You like her!”

“She likes you!”

“I’m going to cry, our Kunnie finally spread his wings out.”

He couldn’t understand a single thing his friends said and decided to ignore them.

————

You first day at your new collage was great so far. You didn’t see any of the boys at all since all of them were majoring in different things. Expect for Kun.

“I didn’t know you were into law.” He spoke behind you.

You turned surprise and smiled.

“Hello there.”

He sat next to you, putting his backpack on the floor and took out his laptop with the rest of his materials for the class.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your major?” You asked while pressing the ‘on’ button of your laptop.

“You never asked.” Kun playfully answered and you softly punched him on the shoulder.

After that, the class started. Two long hours and Kun couldn’t be more surprised by you.

Since you were new, the teacher had his target on you. He asked a lot of question to you to see if you were capable of answering, which you did gaining a good response from the teacher.

Kun knew you were smart. At the reunion everytime you spoke you did it with such a smart input, like you had all of the right words.

“We have free class right now, so... vending machine?” He asked and you nodded.

Weeks went by like that. You and him spending most of the time together.

You study with him, eat with him, laugh with him.

The boys were surprised that at this point you and him haven’t kissed at least.

“Not even a tiny peck?” Ten pinched his fingers together while asking.

Kun shook his head and the boys groaned.

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable.” He softly said and started to play with his fingers, a nervous habit he developed with the years. “And we don’t know if she even likes me like that!”

Sicheng gasped.

“Are you dumb?”

“Not even close, why?”

“There’s no time for jokes!” Sicheng’s dramatic voice appeared. “trust me with this dude, she likes you.”

Kun sighed and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles.

“Y/N is way out of my league.”

————

“How come your roommate is never here?”

“Uh, Wendy usually sleeps at his boyfriends.” You answered while searching a show to watch on netflix.

You decided to lay your head on his shoulder and he decided to place his on top of yours. You decided on watching Twilight again and he groaned making you poke fun at him.

“Again? We’ve watch this like a million times!” He expressed his annoyance.

“And? It’s good so shut it.”

The movie began, it was making him sleepy. He could tell you the whole scrip even in his sleep. That’s so many times you’ve made him watch it with you.

“Are you tired?” You asked and took your head off his shoulder to look at him.

“Yeah, I was busy so I forgot about the essay Ms. Kang gave us, I finished it up in one night.”

His ‘busy’ meant going with you to this art exposition about candy in which they were selling a giant gummy bear, he got you the yellow one and he couldn’t forget they way your face lit up with happiness when he gave it to you after a few days.

“Why don’t you sleep here? You can have my bed and I’ll sleep in Wendy’s”

He nodded at your proposal and sighed. Too tired to even say anything. He was about to continue watching the movie but he couldn’t keep his eyes off your lips. Shinning bright because of the grenade chapstick he gifted you the other day.

The conversation he had with the boys kept on replaying on his mind.

Fuck it.

He pressed his lips against yours. You let out a tiny gasp in surprise but soon after decided to relax.

You tilted your head to the side so you could return his kiss while placing your hand on his cheek. It was a quick kiss but the softness and love was there, and it made you feel for the very first time, full of love.

“I’m in love with you.” He said in a whisper.

You caressed his skin with your fingers, admiring his features under the artificial light that came from the TV.

“I—“

You couldn’t think straight. Too in love with the idea of love. So instead of saying anything, you took him by the back of his neck and drew him close to you, reconnecting your lips with his.

“Be mine.”

————

The boys couldn’t believe their eyes.

“W-What? W-When?” Lucas stuttered.

“Wow, he finally made a move.” Hendery said while sipping on his coca-cola.

A few tables away from them, you and Kun were eating a small cake, feeding each other and sharing sweet kisses.

“Woo! Go Y/N! Go Kun!” Ten shouted to make them feel embarrassed.

You tried to hide your face in your boyfriend’s chest and stuck out your hand with direction towards Ten, folding your fingers except for the middle one.

Kun laughed at this antics and pressed a peck on the crown of your head.

He also was in love with the idea of love.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[terrifictomholland]

catch me, catch you - T.H x reader

So today is a special day - it’s @howdyho-harrystyles birthday! So I spent all night (and today) writing this for her lmao, happy birthday I hope you’ll like this! ❤

word count: 3.4K of sheer smut

warning: SMUT! derogatory language, oral sex (male and female) spanking, choking, dirty talk. Lotsa fun stuff really!

PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS IF YOU ARE UNDER 18!

You saw him slouched over the bar, twirling his glass of whiskey in his hands. A grin pulled at the corner of your mouth. 

An easy target. 

“Fancy seeing you here,” You sidled up beside him, taking a seat on the barstool and crossing your leg over the other. His eyes gave you a once over.

“Why’re you here?” He asked, instantly on alert as to what trick you had up your sleeve. 

You tsked, “Oh relax, no gimmicks, no tricks. Just wanted to see the man himself up close,” You giggled as the bartender came up to you asking what you wanted.

“I’ll have a dirty passion, please,” You smirked as you looked over at the formidable Tom Holland as you said those words. 

The one and only man who had been hunting you for the past year and a half but never managed to catch you for your “alleged” counterfeiting. 

You loved the chase, you loved outsmarting him and watch as he tried to put it together every time you put him on your tail, only for you to disappear into thin air.

He coughed, trying to conceal it and  you threw your head back laughing.

“Do you even know the hardship and grief you’ve caused me by the shit you pulled earlier?” His tone rose in frustration, but there was something else there. Admiration perhaps?

“Mmh, I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about- oh thank you,” You smiled your most charming smile to the bartender as the drink was placed in front of you.

“My arse you don’t,” Tom scoffed. You peeked around him, not-so-subtly, giving him an appraising hum.

“Delectable arse,” He countered with an unamused look and you giggled.

“Loosen up, you’re drinking so clearly you’re off duty now,” 

“I came here to enjoy a drink in peace and get my mind off of you - alas, here we are,” He motioned between the two of you. Your eyebrow shot up,

“I’ve been on your mind?” You could almost see him blanching at the admission and you smiled, placing a hand on his leg. As the rest of you moved closer to him, chest pressing up against his arm.

“You’ve been on my mind too,” You whispered in his ear. Placing a kiss on his earlobe, feeling the shiver run through him.

                                                         -----

After that, it didn’t take long for you to wind up at his flat. Your eyes roaming around inside, remembering the details and cataloging them.

A smirk gracing your face once again seeing some very familiar postcards featured on his fridge.

“I see you’re a fan,” You licked your lips motioning to said fridge, his eyes moved over to them and he shook his head.

“You’ve been the cause of many restless nights,” He admitted as his eyes roamed your body. A surge of confidence rolled through you as you sauntered over to him. “Well, now that you have me for the night, why don’t you use me?” 

His nostrils flared as he inhaled a sharp breath. “You sure you know what you’re asking for?” 

“I wouldn’t have asked if I couldn’t handle you,” Your fingers gripped the lapels of his shirt and he searched your face. His eyes darting down to your lips and you subconsciously licked your own. Your heart raced when he got close enough to invade all of your senses. His hands resting on your waist and your skin burned where he touched you. Your eyes shut on their own accord when his breath fell on your face and seconds later you felt his lips on yours. 

Eager and plush lips slanting over your own, his lips catching your bottom one and sucked on it, giving it a nibble. At once you opened up letting him have all the access he wanted. A small sigh escaped when you felt him lift you up, your legs wrapped around his waist immediately. His large hands holding the back of your thighs as he moved you to his bedroom. 

His lips were divine, kissing you with just enough eagerness and passion. He was a magnificent kisser that you easily could get lost in. In fact, you did because the next thing you knew he had you on your back on his bed. 

Pulling away ever so slightly, both out of breath and lust swirling in your eyes. You bit your swollen lip feeling his body pressing against yours and you decided then and there that you were both wearing too much clothes. 

“Take it off,” You demanded, sitting up and he followed suit, both of you stripping, until you were just in your underwear. 

“Fuck,” You whispered sucking your bottom lip between your teeth seeing the impressive physique he had. He was ripped but not overly so, he was just right. Very defined abs and arms that made you wanna grind your cunt all over them. 

A cocky grin crossed his face. “Seeing something you like?” 

You propped yourself up on your elbows, “Mmh, fuck you’re gorgeous,”

His eyes moved over your half-naked body, eyes zeroing on your bra-clad tits. “So are you,” warmth filled you to hear him say that. Considering you two were on opposite sides, getting a compliment from him still meant a lot to you. You held a lot of respect for him, he was an incredible FBI agent and not one to mess with. Yet here you were, about to mess with him. 

“Thank you,” You reached behind you, unclasping your bra and his jaw dropped slightly and you grinned getting up on your knees on his bed. Shuffling closer to where he stood. Your hands going to his thighs, rubbing them as you placed kisses all over his pecs and abs. 

You felt him growing in his boxers when you sucked and marked his torso up. Small groans leaving his lips and you fed off of them.

You let your fingernails scrape across his abs down to the front of his boxers, feeling his cock twitch when you palmed him. You glanced up at him with a wicked grin seeing his brown eyes darken as he licked his lips.

“May I?” He gave a jerky nod which was enough for you to push his boxers off him. 

His cock sprung free and curved up toward his tummy. Red and leaking at the tip that made your mouth water, it was a glorious cock. Just thick and long enough.

“God you’re perfect,” You mumbled as your hand wrapped around him and he hissed at the touch at first, which was soon enough replaced by a string of moans as you jerked him off. 

You licked your lips getting them nice and wet before wrapping your mouth around the head, letting your tongue tease him. His fingers tangled in your hair and tugged on it making you moan around his cock.

You let one of your hands move to his balls, taking him deeper in your mouth, relaxing your jaw and breathing through your nose, tears gathered in your eyes as you deepthroated him hearing his low growls and moans. The grip tightened on your hair. 

“Fucking hell,” He stuttered and you could tell he was refraining from bucking his hips, which you were grateful for. You bobbed your head up and down increasing in speed hearing his breathing get faster and shorter.

“That’s it,” He moaned and you opened your eyes, looking up to see him throw his head back letting out a string of moans. The veins in his arms protrude and it was a sight for sore eyes to see him so lost in pleasure. 

You pulled off him with a pop and he looked down at you confused,  before you started kissing all over his length, letting your teeth graze his frenulum and he let out a loud moan and without warning he came, painting your face and chest white. You smirked pumping him as he kept shooting off, hearing those delicious moans fill the room. 

“Fuck you’re such a good cockslut,” He panted and you bit your lip, scooping up his cum and licking it all up.

“You taste delicious baby,” You smirked

You let go of him, just admiring him and the way he looked as he came. Face and chest flushed, laboured breathing and beads of sweat pooling at his temples. 

“You’re incredible,” He breathed, making your cheeks grow hot under the praise.

“Thank you,” You smiled watching as he got closer to you giving you a lust-filled kiss which you eagerly kissed back, wrapping your arms around his neck. His body pressing against yours and he got situated between your legs, the friction from his knee pressed against your dripping core made you moan into his mouth.

“What do you want?” He murmured, his lips kissing a trail to your neck, exploring the delicate skin there and leaving marks that would be there for days to come. A souvenir to remember him by.

“Eat me,” You gasped arching your upper body when he found your sweet spot and you tilted your head sideways. He chuckled against your neck, soothing the bite with his tongue.

“What’s that?” He was turning the tables on you now. Cheeky bugger.

“Want you to eat my pussy,” You huffed at having to repeat yourself, placing a hand on his head, pushing him down to your throbbing core. 

“Bossy,” He teased, sucking a harsh bite into your hip bone causing you to let out a whine. His face finally came face to face with your dripping cunt.

“Needy little thing aren’t you?” He hummed seeing the wet patch on your panties and you threw your head back feeling him rub your sensitive bud through the thin and soaked material. 

“Fuck,” You breathed feeling him remove your panties and you propped yourself up on your elbows. 

The first lick of his tongue had spots of white appear behind your eyelids. His warm tongue spreading your wet folds, licking up to your clit, giving that a few flicks before he moved back to your entrance. A moan filled the room when you felt his tongue push inside of you.

You took fistfulls of his hair, letting out high-pitched whines as he ate you out like a champion. Your hips gyrated against his face when he moved up to shower your clit with attention. Practically making out with it and it was one of the hottest things you’d ever seen. Your lower stomach started burning like it did when you were going to cum. 

“Fingers,” You gasped laying down flat on the bed so that you could twist and tweak your nipples as he eased a finger in you, making you sigh in pleasure.

“So good,” 

“So fucking wet for me,” He pulled away from your clit for a moment, watching you play with your nipples.

“You’ll be the death of me,” He grunted adding a second finger without difficulty and you let out a moan feeling his mouth back on your clit.

“Fuck, fuck,” You wanted to squeeze your legs together but you couldn’t seeing as how he had them spread wide. 

“‘m close Tom,” Your breath came out choppy as the pleasure built and built in your stomach, 

“C’mon cum for me baby, show me what you can do. Make a mess on my face,” He rasped and you came with a cry chanting his name, your legs trembling when you came. 

You felt him kissing your stomach up to your tits, giving them all the attention you could’ve possibly wanted. You arched your back, feeling your clit throb again.

 You loved nipple play, so much, it was an instant turn-on.

“Want you to fuck me now,” You breathed splaying yourself out there on the bed, feeling him climb on top of you. 

“I think you can do better than that,” He smirked, sitting back on his hunches and stroked his cock leisurely. You let out a whimper at the sight of his cock hardening with each stroke, you just wanted his cock. 

“C’mon Tom, fuck me - don’t you want to? Take my cunt and make it yours?” You taunted, grinning when you noticed the fire in his eyes knowing he’d take the bait.

“You’re damn right about that - your cunt is mine,” To prove his point, he gave your cunt a hard slap causing a loud moan to leave your lips. “In fact, to keep your cunt mine I might just tie you up,”  He winked and your throat went dry.

“Go ahead, it’s the only time you’ll have me cuffed,” You shot back and he laughed heartily. 

“Are you sure about that?” His eyes twinkled as he gave your cunt another slap. You bit your lip feeling your wetness seep from your cunt and you knew he felt it.

“Yeah I am,” You gave him a cheeky grin, “So get to it,” You wiggled your hips and he reached over to the bedside drawer, procuring a condom and rolled it over his length.

“Get up on all fours,” 

You quickly got up on all four, feeling your heart thrum in your chest from excitement. You turned your neck over your shoulder seeing Tom admire your body from behind. His hand reached out taking a handful of your ass before releasing it and giving it a good and hard slap, jolting you forward. 

“Fucking gorgeous,” He grunted pushing your face down and you gripped the sheets feeling him run the tip of his cock along your entrance before he pushed forward, entering you in one fluid motion. 

“Go-fuck,” You shakily exhaled feeling so full of him, squeezing his cock like a vice as you adjusted to the size of him. 

“Such a tight little cunt,” 

“Fuck, move,” You pushed back taking him deeper and he groaned, gripping your hips in both hands using them for balance as he started pounding into you. Sending you straight to nirvana. 

You loved the raw passion and lust as he fucked you seven ways to Sunday. He grabbed the back of your hair yanking on it roughly and you gasped, back arching as he smacked your ass with his other hand.

“My little slut,” He growled in your ear and you whined feeling dizzy with pleasure. His dirty talk only enforced that.

“Yes, fuck,” You breathed grasping the sheets harder as his hips slammed into you over and over. You moaned when his cock nudged your g-spot, stars exploding behind your eyelids and your skin prickling. 

“Taking my cock like such a good cockslut,” His hand slid to your front and your eyes rolled back when he started slapping your clit repeatedly. 

“Hrngh,” You whimpered, the noise getting cut off when he moved his hand from your ass to your tits. giving each of them a slap before his hand wrapped around your throat. Squeezing it and you cried out starting to feel like you were floating from all the pleasure he gave you.

“F-fuck can I cum?” You gasped trying valiantly to keep your eyes open, but all you wanted to do was close your eyes and ride this wave of overstimulation. 

“I don’t know - can you?” He taunted fucking into you even harder. The pressure in the pit of your stomach intensified with each thrust and you fell closer and closer to the edge. 

“Please...daddy,” The words just tumbled out in the haze you were currently in. 

“Daddy huh?” 

“Yes, fuck - let me cum all around your cock daddy,” You moaned, making a point to squeeze his cock and he let out a loud groan. 

“Be a good slut and cum for daddy, wanna feel your cunt gushing all around my cock,” He whispered in your ear and you cried out one more time before you tipped over the edge. Your orgasm rocking you through your core, your walls clenching down around him and that way, setting off his orgasm. Hearing his moans and cries as he came. His hand still on your throat, giving a tighter squeeze. 

“Oh fuck, fuck fuck,” You let out a high pitched cry, bordering on screaming his name as he fucked you both through your  orgasms. 

“Oh my god,” He panted letting go of your throat and removing his hand from your clit. Slowly, he pulled out of you and you whined at the loss, glancing over at him seeing the small smirk on his face. 

“Can’t get enough of me?” You rolled your eyes collapsing on his comfortable bed, face down against his plush pillows, hugging one close to you. 

“You wish,” You smiled lazily, watching him clean himself up before he got in beside you. Both of you fumbling for a bit, exchanging tiny giggles as you recovered, still feeling a little lightheaded and floaty. 

“Do you uh, want anything?” He asked scratching the back of his neck and his other free hand gently stroked your back, comforting and soothing you. He could sense that you weren’t fully there with him yet, and he was so sweet. You felt the energy shift into something uncertain and awkward now.

 Suddenly, it felt far too vulnerable and intimate being in the same bed as the man who had just made you cum harder than anyone had ever been able to in the past. And was trying to get you behind bars. Yet, you didn’t want to leave either. You knew that this was all you’d get with him - one night. You planned on making the most of it.

“Maybe a cuppa,” You said timidly reaching for his comforter, wrapping it around you. 

“Milk? Sugar?” He was already up from the bed and you shook your head. He left the room giving you some room for your thoughts and you tried to clear them, but everything was blurred together and you couldn’t make sense of them. So many conflicting emotions running through you.

 You knew you had a golden opportunity now to snoop and find his weaknesses. But, you didn’t find it in you to do that. Not anymore, you let your heart rule over your mind in this instance. 

He came back with two cups, handing one over to you. “Here you go,” You took it and carefully sipped the hot liquid.

“Didn’t peg you for a Yorkshire man,” You mused, watching him over the rim as he sat down and put the comforter over him too. He let out a small laugh.

“It’s the one and only way of drinking tea that,” He affirmed and you grinned.

“Well I feel so much more relieved now that you’re the one who’s chasing me when you’re a Yorkshire tea-drinker - you’re worthy,” You teased, enjoying the lighthearted atmosphere you had going on.

His smile dimmed a little and a frown took place in his beautiful face. “What happens after tonight?” You felt your own smile fade too when he asked. You both knew, yet you couldn’t bring yourself to say it.

“I’m not gonna see you again am I?” He rephrased and you looked down at the mug in your hand so you wouldn’t have to see the look on his face.

“No..You won’t Thomas,” You said quietly hearing the inhale from the man across you. 

“Well...then we should make the most of the night then,” He said slowly, trying to lighten the mood and for that you were grateful. You were quick to jump on the subject change. “What do you suggest we do?” 

“Well...how are you with knitting?” He smirked when you snorted.

“Haven’t you learned anything about me? I’m a fucking pro at everything I do, why stop at knitting? What about crocheting?” You lifted your eyebrow up.

His eyes twinkled with amusement before putting his mug away. “Come here you,” He patted his lap, taking the mug from you and you smirked, climbing into his lap. His hands coming to rest on your ass as you straddled him, kissing him deeply. 

                                                    -----

The next morning when Tom started waking up. He dragged an arm over your shape only to feel the cool sheets. He cracked an eye open and lifted his head from his pillow seeing an empty space where he was sure you had laid before you both fell asleep. Or had you only pretended and left the moment Tom conked out? 

A note was left on the pillow you had slept on. He sat up so he could read the note, his eyes scanning it and a laugh fell from his lips.

There, in your neat and cursive handwriting was a single sentence. 

Catch me if you can ;)

I’m just gonna tag some people I might think will find this interesting because of a recent drop in feedback - if you do (still) want to be on my taglist let me know! - @worldoftom @angelic-holland @londonspidey @greenorangevioletgrass @rebekkah4766 @farfromparker @evilhag47 @underoosjae @hazmyheart @imanativeofswlondondahling @stillholland @thirsttrapholland @selfcarecap @the-professional-procastinator @awesomelupe @tetralea @t-lostinworlds @fallinfortom @duskholland @parkerpeter24 @hollandcreep @lovelytholland if you don’t wanna be tagged lmk! 

[arhvste]

can you maybe do some hcs w kuroo tsukishima and oikawa when their s/o is being bullied by people from school?

love me some savage haikyuu boys 😈

-

KUROO, TSUKISHIMA AND OIKAWA REACTING TO THEIR S/O BEING BULLIED

-

KUROO

kuroo is a perspective little shit 

he analysis’ anything and everything 

he isn’t called the scheming captain for nothing 

so when he notice’s his s/o feeling down or acting different from normal he will find out what’s bothering them

he’ll ask you first

and if you’re not willing to give clear answers he’ll just find out himself

he doesn't want to overstep privacy boundaries

but if you’re being upset by something he feels like it’s his duty as your boyfriend to sort it out

so one day you’re waiting for him after practice

and you both usually meet outside the gym doors to talk home together

however

this time you’ve unfortunately encountered the people who have been making school life unbearable for you

“look its stupid little y/n!”

“why are you still here? waiting for your boyfriend like some sort of lost dog?”

“i don’t know how he puts up with you”

“so clingy and desperate for support i feel so bad for him”

they have you cornered and you’re outnumbered by far 

kuroo has been waiting outside the gym doors for 5 minutes now and is confused 

you’re never ever late 

so he wanders around looking for you since you aren't answering your phone 

now kuroo is annoying but he isn’t stupid

he’s had a hunch about what’s been bothering you lately

he’s noticed a few kids often hang behind class until you leave and they seem to surround you when you’re trying to leave your classroom

he never intervened because he didn’t want to wrongly accuse them of harassing you in case you were friends with them

but you still didn’t look particularly thrilled when you got away from them

so kuroo hears some familiar voices and he heads straight over to them

“don’t cry y/n you don't want to look even more ugly than you already do”

“oh look y/n’s crying they can't even handle a few jokes”

“your boyfriend might even dump you when he sees you”

“the only ones who need dumping are all of you into a pit of fire 🥰”

there stands the 6′2, muscular built, powerhouse school national level volleyball captain with the coldest look he’s ever had

the kids surrounding you are dead silent

“what? nobodies got anything to say now? i thought we were all just laughing and joking with each other so why’d we stop now?”

kuroos eyes soften as soon as they meet yours 

he’s grabbed your hand and pulled you tightly into his chest

“i don't think much of a warning needs to be made but let me make this clear just this once because i don't like having to remind people things, come near her, approach, talk about or to her again and you’re going to have a personal problem with me and my team. got it?”

lmfao the little bitches nod trembling and run 🏃🏽‍♀️

kuroo is such a science nerd who makes awful jokes and has the worlds most obnoxious laugh 

but he’s also a man and a captain and sometimes it’s easy to forget that

he can pick and choose when and what he wants to be perceived as

and right then he has chosen to show you who he really can be 

“why didn’t you tell me angel?”

“i didn’t want to have to bother you”

“oh baby you’re never ever a bother to me. im sorry i couldn't help sooner please never hesitate to tell me if anything like this happens again”

kuroo’s warning sticks with your bullies and they don't bother you anymore

the volleyball team and coach nekomata are throwing dirty ass looks at them too nfjdsbfjs

all in all, kuroo just wants you to know he is there to support you

and he’ll do anything to make sure you’re happy and comfortable 

-

TSUKISHIMA

lmao all i’ve got to say to your bullies is good luck

because if tuski finds out you’ve been bullying his s/o

you’re done for 

this boy has no mercy

he doesn't even need to physically fight

his words can cut deeper than any knife and he knows it 

so when he notices you've been feeling more anxious around school and clinging to him a little more

he grows sus

he’s immediately closing in on who is bothering you and what insults he wants to throw at them

tuski has an exam and it runs a little into lunch 

he told you that if it runs over than you can just wait by your classroom and he’d come and get you 

however while you’re waiting you have a run in with the students who have been giving you a hard time 

just like tuski you’re a student who thrives in academics 

so a few of your classmates aren't particularly fond of your constant reign of lead in your class

“ew y/n you gross weirdo why are you here?”

“they’re probably waiting for their boyfriend to come and pick them up”

“such an entitled little shit, waiting to be collected who do you think you are”

so far you’d done pretty well ignoring them 

but that was in an environment with many other students who’d call your bullies out if they were to step out of line in class

right now you’re an easy target though

nobody to protect you

well that’s what you thought anyway

you feel your bag get snatched from your hands and thrown to the ground 

the bullies are kicking your stuff around laughing while you have no choice but to watch is despair 

that's until one of them is tripped up and lands face flat onto the ground

“you think i should kick them around and see if they can take it?”

tuski is standing there with a dark smile on his face

“so brave of you to pick on my y/n when you all have the audacity to look the way you do and don't even get me started on your academics”

“if i were you'd just apologise to your parents now because realistically what are you all going to do in your lives? success doesn't really look like it fits any of you to be honest”

the other students don't even know what to say

they can't exactly say anything

tsukishima is known to have a sharp tongue with an endless flow of direct insults 

“it’d be a shame if a teacher were to find out about this wouldn't it. im thinking suspension maybe? perhaps you should all call your parents up right now and apologise for your inevitable suspension”

the bullies look at each other nervously

he couldn’t be serious right

“im waiting”

these kids whip out their phones and are calling their confused parents trying to explain about how they could be suspended

“now off you all go, get out of my sight and don't you dare come near her again”

they be sprinting out the hallways 

“you weren’t actually gonna get them suspended were you?”

“it was depending on how fast they called their parents really”

tsukishima is on the floor helping you gather you trashed things

“im annoyed you didn't tell me. don't keep things like this from me yeah? cause not only am i here for you but, i get a kick out of it to. besides, im the only one who gets to be playfully mean to you.”

and he’ll make sure to keep a closer eye on you and keep you around him for a little longer just till he’s certain you’ve been left alone

OIKAWA

fangirls 

the absolute bane of his existence 

oikawa appreciated the support but it was overbearing sometimes 

especially when he just wants to spend time with his precious y/n-chan

in front of him, his fangirls would be so polite and supportive 

“you and y/n look so good together”

“i hope you’re treating them well”

“oikawa is is lucky”

but behind his back these girls were nothing but vicious and spiteful towards you 

you knew you’d have to deal with his fangirls at some point 

you’d decided to keep your relationship hidden for the first few months until oikawa suggested going public and you felt like you couldn’t say no

you’d hear comments as you walked through the halls

classes would’ve been a nightmare if iwaizumi wasn’t in your class

he knew you were struggling with oikawa’s fangirls but you pleaded him not to say anything to his best friend 

iwaizumi didn't exactly want to keep this from oikawa but he also didn't want to go against your wishes 

you compromised instead and told iwaizumi about everything the fangirls put you through and sometimes he’d even take it lightly into his own hand 

despite the fact you had oikawa’s best friend looking out for you, this was also a reason the bullying got worse

“you think you can get iwaizumi to back you up now? you want the whole team or what?”

yes

“stop being so overdramatic oikawa shouldn’t have to put up with someone as fragile as you”

“he can do so much better did you manifest or do witchcraft to get him to date you?”

the comments had become so common to you they started to have no effect

you slowly became more and more emotionally unavailable and this was something oikawa had started to pick up on

“y/n-chan you’ve stopped smiling at me so much. have i upset you?”

at first he’d think he did something wrong and he’d desperatly rack his brain for anything he could’ve done to offend you

“no you haven’t tooru i’ve just been tired lately”

you’d lie and give him a small fake smile 

but oikawa has given enough fake smiles in his life and is more than capable of being able to tell a real smile to a fake one

like kuroo though, he wouldn’t want to push any privacy boundaries and can only hope you’d open up to him soon

it doesn’t mean he’s not going to be watching you even closer now

he’ll ask iwaizumi whether he’s seen a change in your behaviour 

iwaizumi has finally decided this has gone too far

“idiot do you not see it’s your shitty fangirls that are making them miserable?”

“my fangirls?”

“yes your fangirls. y/n can’t catch a break with them around they’re really nasty to her and i don’t know how it’s taken you so long to see”

now that oikawa thinks about it you do cling to him a little tighter when they’re around

you don’t thank them for their ‘compliments’ about your relationship with the setter

you go extremely quiet and anxious when they’re around

oikawa had just thought it was nerves from sudden attention

he didn’t realise they had been secretly harassing you 

so oikawa goes to wait outside your locker when the day ends

“tooru shouldn't you be at practice?”

“come with me” he says sternly but he’s giving you a reassuring look as he grips your hand securely in his larger one

he walks you quickly through the halls and round to the entrance of the gym where his fangirls are usually waiting for practice to start

“oikawa-san! why aren’t you in uniform? is practice cancelled?”

“oh y/n is here... that's cute”

oikawa is beyond livid just from their presence alone

they even had the nerve to say your name?

“you know what isn’t fucking cute though? your disgusting behaviour”

the fangirls are look between each other innocently

“what do you mean oikawa-san?”

“don’t play oblivious with me you bitches! what was going through your heads when you all thought it was okay to harass MY y/n-chan?!”

the girls are silent now

oikawa is usually so charming and relaxed 

nobody sees him worked up outside the court

“there’s a reason none of you have even been allowed to be considered to have the chance to get to know me, you’re all fake. every single one of you. i hate fake people more than anything. this behaviour is gross i want none of you associated with me get out of here and if i hear one more thing about anyone upsetting y/n hell will be broken loose and that won’t just be from me.”

oikawa did not stutter 😌

king

the girls leave immediately 

“i think you’ve just lost yourself your whole fan club”

“oh y/n they were never fans if they have the nerve to upset someone they know i love. why didn’t you tell me i would’ve said something sooner”

“i just didn't want to upset you about your fans”

“you’re always going to be the first priority to me always if they or anyone else ever bothers you again, promise you’ll tell me straight away?”

“promise.”

after that he’ll take you to sit on the bench on the side of the court so you can watch him play and he can keep an eye on you

yeah oikawa may seem like a carefree people pleaser

but if you’re upsetting his s/o, you’ll be experiencing the side he tries to keep under control and he won’t be afraid to let loose.

-

ALL CONTENT BELONGS TO @KUROOSKULT ON TUMBLR 2020 PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, CHANGE OR PLAGIARISE

[fonulyn]

So my partner is amazing and let's me ramble about RE to them whenever I want to, and even sat down to watch Vendetta with me when I bought it, so the other day I was like explaining Leon and Chris' characters (bc my partner knows how much I love them both lmao so of course that's what I was talking about), and we have both come to the conclusion that Leon is a bisexual disaster, and Chris is a homosexual. The running joke is that Leon is also just generally a whore, out there living his best life, and Chris is the kind of gay guy who no one expects to be gay bc of stereotypes and his habit of never really talking about himself, but he also was never really in the closet about it, so he's surprised whenever people are surprised to learn that he's gay lolol but in all seriousness Leon is not only bisexual, but he's the type to fall in love easily despite all of his background and trauma related to betrayal, so his heart is almost continually broken, either bc he's betrayed or he loses whoever it is he's found himself in love with (and sometimes both i.e. Krauser, and Ada at the end of RE2), either through death or just leaving bc he knows he can't stay/can't be with whomever. As for Chris, maybe I'm reading into it wrong, but despite all of the like, romantic connotations they try to put into some of his games (which I don't. Really see? Like there was some in the first game with Jill but I just cannot see them together like that, neither seem interested in one another like that. And of course, Jessica, who I can't stand, and who Chris is supposedly totally oblivious to? Like she thinks he didn't notice her flirting in RE revelations, and Parker is like "is it that, or is he maybe interested in someone else?" And the assumption there is that he means Jill, but again, I don't see it? Even in that game! But that line of Parker's always makes me think "yeah, he's more than just interested in someone else, he's playing for a whole nother team entirely!" lmao. And I haven't seen much for 5 but I'm sure it's there between Chris and Sheva, and then for 6 from what I understand there really is hardly any talk of Chris in regards to any women at all? 8 has nothing, as well, and the DLC for 7 is just another "Chris loses his entire team in horrific fashion yet again" side plot, so nothing there either), he never seems interested. He's always focused on the task at hand, not letting emotions get in his way, and like, some could argue that that's why he doesn't show interest or why Capcom doesn't create more romantic lore around him, but if they really wanted to Make Sure he was straight and Make Sure everyone playing these games knew that, I imagine there would be some one line little hints in the games of him talking about how he can't let himself get distracted, or in his line of work there are no happy endings or what have you, but. There's none of that. Bc he isn't forcing himself not to be interested, he isn't purposefully focusing on saving the day so he doesn't have to get hurt knowing he can never have whichever high potential for a dope ass protag female character who's constantly sacrificing herself to save him bc what better purpose could they serve, right Capcom?, he's just. There, doing his job and trying to save whoever he can, not getting distracted in anyway whatsoever by any of the women in his life, romantically at least. He still cares way too much, but it never comes off as romantic to me in pretty much any way. Also the note he leaves in his STARS locker in RE2remake, Claire being like "this doesn't sound like Chris at all!" Is funny to me bc like, I don't really remember so correct me if I'm wrong, but she doesn't elaborate on WHY that note doesn't sound like Chris lmao is it bc he's respectful to women at all times and doesn't ever objectify them, probably hates when other people do? Or is it bc he would never be interested in women in this way ANYWAYS, the man is so gay, he must have left this note so that Claire would know something is Up, bc her brother is Such a homosexual.

Anyways sorry, I just wanted to ramble/get your opinion on this. Over-analysing RE is actually really fun lmao

haha not gonna lie, I opened your ask in the car on the grocery store parking lot and tried to read it on my phone, and gave up squinting at the small screen halfway through :'D now that I'm back at my laptop though, lol, all good :'D

first of all I'm happy you have someone to ramble to even though they aren't into the thing themselves! :D I regularly rant about RE fandom things to my brother haha and he listens patiently although he isn't in the fandom at all, he's only played the games and that's it. but he still listens to my shippy rambles lol.

as for your thoughts? makes sense to me tbh. I definitely headcanon Leon as a bisexual disaster most of the time, because it does seem fitting. maybe it's partly because I think he's absolutely breathtakingly stunning and it'd be a shame to deny anyone that, so, naturally he wouldn't care about such trivial things as gender, pfth, love is love.

also Leon falling in love easily? absolutely. too damn easily. c'mon this is a man who gets attached to anyone who shows him even the tiniest amount of basic kindness in the matter of minutes. he canonically forms attachments with Claire, Ada, Krauser, Helena, Buddy and JD (JD 😭)... whoever else am I forgetting? but this is the guy who meets someone and would die for them five seconds later. so. it tracks.

and you know what, I can 100% see Chris being only into men. because like. I don't see the romance there either when he's interacting with the women in his life? okay, sure, I could imagine something there between him and Jill if pressed seeing the way he so single-mindedly wants to save her and then holds her in the scene after they get that thing off her chest. maybe. but even there it doesn't really feel super romantic to me, personally.

in the first game with Jill there's not... a lot of romance I don't think? sure she falls asleep against his shoulder in the evac helicopter but i mean, i've fallen asleep against a friend like that? not an indication of romance? they're clearly important to each other! i am not trying to diminish their importance to one another at all! they'd die for each other and they'd do anything it takes to protect each other and i do think their relationship is compelling but... i don't really see anything inherently romantic in it.

and Jessica, yeah, Chris is 100% oblivious to her advances. it is implied in the game that he's into Jill instead but other than that there's again zero actual romantic interaction between Chris and Jill. I was actually talking about this with my brother, who said the same, like there were so many chances in Revelations to put something romantic in there between Chris and Jill but there just. isn't? anything? except for Parker's comment. which is why it felt so damn out of place? (and like my brother would've wanted to ship Chris and Jill, he was kinda bummed about this i feel :'D) so interpreting it to mean he's not interested in women at all would actually make more sense lmao.

as for RE5, I've played it twice (with my brother lmao do we see a theme here) and honestly I don't remember anything in the game that would've insinuated anything more than solid partnership between Chris and Sheva?? if someone who's more familiar with the game wants to correct me on this, then please! but at least off the bat I can not remember anything so I think they actually didn't try to even hint at romance for them?

and in RE6 Chris is way too focused on killing "Ada" to have any thoughts about anything else :'D so no. no mentions in there regarding him and any women. at all. not even hints of Jill which is so incredibly weird (and stupid tbh) bc she was made to be so important to him in RE5 and then doesn't even get a mention in RE6? (/shakes fist damn you capcom! the characters exist outside the games they're in!)

I think that's pretty much the main difference between Chris and Leon tbh. Chris sees the job at hand, and he knows it'll help, he knows it'll save people and it'll make the world safer and he's so single-mindedly focused on the job that he sees nothing else. while Leon sees people, for the better or for worse, and he is willing to take detours if it helps even one person in the meantime. like in RE6, Leon willingly ignores the task at hand to go help just about anyone. Chris doesn't want to pause even when pressed bc he has an end goal in mind.

and bear in mind, I am not trying to say this somehow makes Leon better or Chris better or anything. they're both doing this to help. they both have their heart in the right place. they both care. but they're just so different! their personalities, and their way of dealing with things is different! I feel Chris is really target oriented and wants to get the job done. while Leon's easily distracted from it, because of all the damn feelings :'D

but yeah. i love them both, and i think it's really damn fascinating how they're both the good guys, the heroes of the franchise, but they both take to things so differently.

i don't know if any of this makes sense, I think i rambled too :'D but hey-o, it was fun lmao.

and hey no need to apologize at all!! always feel free to shoot me a message if you wanna chat!