#I'd be in my final form babey

[aphrosprite]

☽ ALSO!! ☾

Found an affordable glassblowing intro that I am 100% definitely going to try and go for!!! Now it's a) midsemester b) in the north and c) expensive, but one does wonder ☉-☉ An early birthday present combined with some savings could just do it. However I will need to start lifting weights to be fully ready...

[chubsonthemoon]

Last Binderary book is DONE!!!! This is the incredible Maybe sprout wings, by @moorishflower.

This post is going to be a doozy, so gonna just skip straight to the cut!

INTERIOR

INTRODUCTION

I really wanted to model this bind after my own copy of the Odyssey, (which is all highlighted and bookmarked and annotated to hell from my Great Text courses in undergrad ehe, so this bind was such a fun trip down memory lane!). But beyond just the cover/general aesthetic, I also wanted to give the book a similar feel to these kinds of editions of classics--there's usually an introduction, translation notes, and other supplementary materials, right? Like, a physical manifestation of the work of many, many people, all having conversations with one another across time and space.

So that's what I did! I wrote a short introduction (I will also probably post it to my AO3/my blog as well, in the name of preservation etc. etc.) and began reaching out to folks in the fandom who I knew had created art and meta for the fic. The result? 18k words of analysis, comments, and meta, and nearly twenty pages of art!

And this is what I love most about this bind, I think! This book is the work of several people--truly a collaborative work by the fandom--all of whom I will now be shamelessly calling out below :D

CHAPTER HEADER ART

First and foremost, this book would not be what it is without the gorgeous header art by @fancy-rock-dove! Thank you so much Dove for letting include your work, and for being so supportive and kind these past few weeks about this bind <3 You in particular have contributed so much to this book (which I will be getting more into in the next section ehe), and I'm so psyched I get to hold your art and words, too!

NOTES ON THE TEXT

This section was divided into four parts: Asks and Answers, Meta, Selected Comments, and Chapter Heading Art: Process

For Asks and Answers, I trawled Heather's blog for meta she had written in response to questions and other meta about the fic. Asks came from @fancy-rock-dove, @quillingwords, @kulapti, and myself! (I THINK I got all of them--tumblr's search function is finnicky even on its best days, so so sorry if I missed something T_T) I first got hooked into reading this fic because of one of these asks, so I'm very fond of this section in particular :D

For Meta, I included two wonderful essays written by @pastrypuppy (also known as @kulapti) about Hob as an author figure and the Disrupted Fisher King narrative in MSW. Her analyses were so fascinating and I just had to include them in the book! (And thank you as well for your permission, friend!) (also hello fellow Renegade comrade 🫡)

For Selected Comments, I owe everything to (once again :3) @fancy-rock-dove, whose insights are the epitome of transformative fandom at work. I'd look for their comments after I read every chapter to see what their takes were on this or that element of the story, and every single time I would go "!!!!! I didn't even realize!!!" or "OOOOOOOH I hadn't thought of that!!" It was like being in a lecture hall and always whipping your head around when one of your classmates raised their hand, because you knew they were going to say something fascinating that you hadn't considered before.

Aside from one of my own comments, Dove's comments make up the entirety of this section (for which I owe you my life--your long-form responses to fics are a gift to this world) but GOSH was it also so much fun going through the comments section while typesetting and seeing all the keyboard smashing, yelling, and crying from the other commenters. Communal nature of storytelling and ongoing meaning-making of fanfiction, babey!

And finally for Chapter Heading Art: Process: once again Dove coming in clutch with some wonderful insights into the design of each of the chapter heading art pieces! This kind of stuff is honestly my favorite: meta about art for a fic which is, in turn, a transformation of an existing story (not even to mention that The Sandman is its own kind of fanfiction of existing mythologies and histories)--I just!! Think it's all really, really neat :'D (for more coherent/polished thoughts on this pls see my introduction asjdfkls)

ART

The art gallery!!! A million thanks to @fishfingersandscarves, @honeyseller, @jazzpsych, @doctor-rainbowfoxey, and (HI AGAIN DOVE) @fancy-rock-dove for granting me permission to include all of your beautiful pieces!

As usual for artworks in my binds, I printed each piece out on specialty photo paper to really make the colors pop, then sewed each page separately to the text block! Behold, everyone's beautiful beautiful pieces!

The art gallery also satisfies the certain "oooh shiny" part of my brain that always activates when I see pictures in a book, so am also very fond of this section :3

CONSTRUCTION

And now on to the nitty gritty stuff! I used the German Bradel binding technique again, my second time using it. Even though it's more complicated than the case bind, I really love how it gives you the full board space for the cover designs (~it's free real estate~). Keep it a secret but I kiiiiiiind of made a small goof in the last few steps (I did the turn-ins a step too early and so had to paste an extra sheet of cardstock to secure the spine to the boards, whoopsie), but it's a pretty small difference, aesthetically speaking, so it wasn't the end of the world XD

Edges are once again fake gilded, but this time I tried something new with the colors! I did two layers of acrylic paint--one watered down shade of red for the base, then one metallic gold on top of that. I really like the red/gold effect! I'll have to keep experimenting with this kind of layering:

ALSO. Y'ALL! I think I'm finally getting the hang of endbands!!! Many thanks to the folks at Renegade who hosted all the endband workshops last month--I'm still working through them, but even the few sessions I've seen have been TREMENDOUSLY helpful. I learned that tension is Very Important, as well as thread thickness, so I tried doubling my thread and keeping a Very Close Eye on how I was holding the threads while doing the beads. And behold! I still have a ways to go (and one day I would LOVE to do the fancier designs), but I'm v happy with the progress I've made so far!

And finally the covers!! ARCHIVAL MOD PODGE MY BELOVED. I printed on the same matte presentation paper that I used for the art, then did several coats of archival matte mod podge + a pass of gloss mod podge over the title strip to make it ~shiny~. Then once those had dried and I'd adhered them to the boards, I sprayed two layers of matte clear acrylic sealer (also mod podge!) to finish it off. I had some issues with the paper tearing when I handled it before it was fully dry, but luckily the blemishes were small enough that it was easy to do spot corrections with my black acrylic paint. And now I know to be more patient next time LOL

(some non-photoshoot shots that show the shine a little better!)

FINAL THOUGHTS

I had a lot of thoughts while I was binding this book--about Sandman fandom, about Dreamling fandom, about the Odyssey, about storytelling, about fanbinding, about Binderary, about Renegade, about my friends--but really what came to mind the most was gratitude!

Simply put, I'm so grateful to everyone I've met both in this fandom and throughout the years I've been active online--this is SO fun, y'all. It's so much fun to love stories together--to talk about them, to write them, and of course to bind them! I hope I've adequately conveyed that gratitude.

But of course, this book would not exist without the wonderful words of @moorishflower. Heather, thank you so, SO much for sharing your stories, thoughts, and time with us--it is always a happier, better day when I get an email notif from you and when I see you on my dash. I love your work so much, and I'm so happy I finally get to put it on my shelf! So thank you so much again, for everything <3

and OKAY THAT'S IT FROM ME FOLKS!!!!! Binderary 2023 is officially a wrap! I had SUCH a blast--will probably write up a reflection post on it uhhhh after I take a very long nap ajslkdfjslk _(:3」∠)_

all my love! <3

[thewritingautisticat]

Saw the Tags

RANT TO ME

I need something to read pls

Hahaha you asked for it okay 🤣

Okay so my favorite little guy is my boi Peg, he's a very smol bean and is around 12 when he first shows up. He was born with some physical disfigurement, particularly some malformation of the face and a hunched back, as well as one leg that wasn't formed properly. That leg eventually gets amputated and he walks with a pegleg (hence the name Peg)

His parents abandoned him when he was an infant due to the disfigurement and he was sold into a Freak Show, where he lived for most of his childhood. It was extremely abusive and left him traumatized and with a lot of scars. Someone eventually helped him escape, and he got taken to a tavern cuz no one really knew what to do with him, so he's spent the last couple years basically working as an errand boy and bartender there. At 10-12 years old. But this is is like mild fantasy/olden days so no one really cares about keeping a child away from alcohol. It's not like a super great environment, but it's way better than the Freak Show and all the thugs and people there kinda just think of him as their little mascot or whatever so it's not too bad.

Anyway Peg is the purest bean, the sweetest little guy, never complains, works hard, is a literal beam of sunshine. Like literally I just wanna cry about him all the time. He's babey. And all he really wants is to be cared about. The tavern people do feel affectionate towards him but are just really rough and not super kind about it. He needs someone to love and take care of him.

Enter Caldren, my other favorite OC (okay I have a lot of favorites but these are pretty much the top two). Caldren. Sigh. I love him. I adore him. He's also incredibly stupid and stubborn. He's here because he's on a Revenge Quest™ to kill the guy who killed his parents (ah yes, cliche backstory my beloved). He's already committed arson and sort of accidentally abandoned his childhood-best-friend-who-has-a-crush-on-him-except-he's-not-aware-because-he's-stupid in his one-track obsession with revenge. He's convinced that once he kills this guy everything will be fine and he can fix all the problems he's already caused, except he just. Keeps. Making. Things. Worse. This boy. He's fifteen and his brain is not fully developed yet, which is the only excuse I have for him sometimes.

Anyway, he shows up at this tavern to try to get some training in how to commit murder, sees this Freak and literal child, and immediately decides that Peg is his brother now. He literally knows him for less than a day and is already pulling knives on people who dare be mean to him. And Caldren has SOOOO many issues, but the one thing he's got is he will literally do anything for the people he loves.

So Peg finally gets all the love and affection he needs and deserves. Caldren is so soft with him and slowly helps him to work through his trauma and fears. Caldren is so funny because he can go from Intense Murder Mode to the sweetest, cuddliest big bro in the blink of an eye. They're the actual epitome of "I'd kill for you" and "Please don't". Caldren is tall and brooding and dark and angsty, and Peg is so smol and sunshiney, and they're just so cute.

THEY'RE JUST THE BEST BROTHERS AND FOUND FAMILY EVER AND I LOVE THEM. I WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY ABOUT THEM ON A REGULAR BASIS.

😭😭😭😭😭

[beaubambabey]

Fuck it, starting my Gale romance run

I discussed how I wanted to make a Cleric of Mystra who doesn't like or trust Gale at first a while back, but I figured I'd finally just. Do it. Especially since my Stella run (aka the Full On Lesbian No Attraction To Men Here run) was painful for me due to how many companion cutscenes I missed out on by playing through most of the game between launch and Patch 1.

Meet Tavythe Bellwether! A devoted follower of Mystra and Knowledge Cleric somewhere around the same age as the renowned Wizard of Waterdeep. She grew up in an average family and devoted her life to Mystra herself when she was of age. Often thought to be stuck up due to her preference for study over social activity, she is shrewd and not quick to trust others.

Naturally, this means the Guardian takes on the form of some being she could place her faith in...

Bootleg Mystra, babey!!

[bluehairedspidey]

For character ask: Mileena and Reptile

finally finished this let's goooooooo

Mileena

General opinion/How much I care about them: Not one of the characters I spend the Most time thinking about but i love her!! <333 A ship I love: Mileena/Tanya is top tier of course, but I'm also really interested in the potential of Mileena/Frost! Particularly because of some of the intro dialogues in MK11:

Kotal Kahn: I despise you as I did Mileena. Frost: You have problems with strong women? Kotal Kahn: Those who seek stations above their faculty.

Frost: I've never killed a clone. Mileena: Nor have I a construct. Frost: May the best woman win.

Mileena: Kronika has offered me a body like yours. Frost: Don't be a fool. Take it. Mileena: Show me its worth.

Mileena: We're the same, Frost. Frost: Both written off and underestimated. Mileena: Together, we'll surprise them all.

A non-romantic relationship that I love: It may not be the most in character but I love Shao Kahn actually caring about Mileena as a daughter! She didn't ask to be made the way she was, and it seems like really all she wants is love and acceptance. Its no wonder she wants so badly to live up to Shao's expectations of her and follow in his footsteps when he was the first person who didn't immediately reject her as a monster. I also love the idea of Shang Tsung caring about her at least a little in his own way as she's one of his creations, and I'm super interested in the potential of her relationship with Baraka because I love hearing people talk to Mileena (and Baraka for that matter) as an equal, like in these lines:

Baraka: Join us against the Emperor. Mileena: And forever curtsy to my sister? Baraka: Better Kitana's partner than Shao Kahn's slave.

Baraka: You belong with the tribe. Mileena: I belong with my father, Baraka. Baraka: Your blood is ours, not his.

The NOTP: Hmm idk if I have any specific ships that I super hate, I guess I'm not particularly into any ships of her with men, im not a fan of her and baraka as anything but platonic My biggest headcanon about them: I've talked about it already but I really do think she just wants love and acceptance. idk if getting it from the right person/people would be able to turn her "good" at this point, but if anything could it would be that An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: Since I mentioned Baraka earlier, I'd LOVE to see a fanfic where (perhaps after Shao Kahn's death) Mileena decides to accept Baraka's invitation to join the Tarkata tribe and when she does she's finally able to find a place where she fits in with people who love and accept her <;3 Something that makes me think of them: I mean she is very Jennifer's Body lol

Reptile

General opinion/How much I care about them: Similar to Mileena, don't think about him the most but I do love him! His less human/more lizard-like forms are my favorite, like in Deadly Alliance and his reptile form in MK1 (I'm not really a fan of his human form in MK1 ^^; ) A ship I love: Reptile/Kotal Kahn babey he can be his little creepy crawly <;3 A non-romantic relationship that I love: I ship Reptile/Kotal/Jade/Kitana/Liu Kang, so I'm interested in Reptile's platonic relationships with all the other members of the polycule that he's not involved with :) (EDIT: I FORGOT erron and reptile friendship as well :) The NOTP: None in particular (except perhaps, again, any straight ships) My biggest headcanon about them: This isn't even a headcanon it's just from the MKX intros but I love Kotal calling Reptile "Little Lizard" and Reptile calling Liu Kang "Little Dragon" <3 I do also headcanon that Kotal might call Reptile "Topitzin" ("little lizard" in Nahuatl) An idea for a fanfiction I would like to write/read about them: Currently have a WIP that's just Johnny, Liu Kang, Kitana, Jade, Kotal, and Reptile having an orgy Something that makes me think of them: Would it be cheating to say lizards lmao

[cosmic-cd]

i post about hazel a lot but

i think my fursona RGB is like. such a winner because specifically she is both a blorbo and also "ohhhh my god she's so me"

id been struggling on settling on a fursona for so long before i hit upon RGB- who wasn't even initially??? supposed to be my fursona????? at all?????????

just a random protogen design that like, ended up sticking

for years after the fact. and now i have a 3D model of her steadily in the works and plushie of her that is like, half as big as me

what is wrong with her. i love her so much. if i didnt spend so much money on the plush i'd pour milk on her and throw her at a wall. (i wont though)

and well like, i think the secret of her lasting so long is i finally figured out the ideal blend of fictional character to oh that's just straight up me TM

my first two fursonas kinda flopped and ended up as OCs because they were too distant from me- karra's really serious at this point and has siblings (i'm an only child) and while comet's actually not too far off from RGB personality-wise, she's also developed as a character in away (again with siblings, i don't have any) that differs too much from me- but i value them both as OCs, so this isn't a loss by any measure

then came nova, who doesn't really look or act like me, but i thought at the time that if i adamantly didn't give her any backstory, she'd stick. and she did stick for a while! but for varying reasons, i ended up dropping her (but i might give her a lite redesign sometime- keep her as an OC or little mascot either way) and in hindsight- she never really felt like me, even if i liked her

there was a time before nova and after nova where i didn't have a fursona- i had hazel off and on in varying forms as a representation of me, but she was only made official a little before nova was a thing- and while hazel is solid "oh yeah that's me babey" department, and i have Fursona Edition Hazel, she doesn't really cover the base of "having a fursona" for me

does that make sense???? i cannot explain to you why i need so many fursonas. it's so hard to explain but hazel and RGB fulfill two separate ecological niches.

i had some misc fursonas that lasted maybe a year at maximum, but usually like. a few months, spread over the course of a few years before RGB came about

RGB wasn't even immediate. it was kind of a slow roll of a headworld kinda failing to make any traction, my previous fursona at the time not really sticking but me having cool ideas on having an interdimensional traveler on purpose OC- i kept designing and accumulating characters that i wanted to use but had no use for

and then RGB suddenly clicked with me, i settled on the DIMENSION/CROSS concept, and i've been chipping away at developing it through just. thinking really hard about my guys & roleplaying with them. (the delight of having OCs that can visit friends' OCs any time they want for any reason)

and i keep waiting to fall out of love with her but it just.

hasn't happened yet!

i actually came close because some part of me feels like RGB's design isn't actually that great and got worried she's just kind of a visual mess. but i dunno, some really kickass art i've received made me feel better. i started drawing her consistently the way i want too, so i feel like. a lot more solidified in loving her and enjoying her as a character!!!

it's weird, because RGB has a lot of story. backstory, even. distinct from me as a person. she's a lot more boisterous and loud and irresponsible. dare i say cool when she's not being a little stupid. but, a lot of that's a veneer- that's what she wants you to see. inside, when all that's stripped away, she's still just me. she's the 8ft tall space captain on a road trip with her friends that i wish i could be! but despite that, ive never felt closer to any character i've ever come up with before and that makes me really happy

she is SO fun to write. she has like, so much emotional baggage she's running away from because she doesn't want to be compared to hazel (who is soggy and miserable and 🥺 and a nerd) but we all know they are the same.

tl;dr i love my fursona. she's a loser. this post is really long.

[veratasswrites]

Cross-Post of Writeblr Intro!

Writeblr Re-Intro

(Originally posted to @directionoftime - just moving my writeblr to this blog!)

Hey Writeblr!! I attempted to join the community a few years back but way too quickly found myself overwhelmed and ended up fizzling out >.> but I'm back now and hoping to make a better (less stressed out) effort! A bit worried I might have burnt-off some of the writeblr folks by just kinda peace-ing out, but I really do hope to make a better go of it this time around and post/interact more often! (I have so many writeblr posts to catch up on, yikes!)

About me: Vera (she/her) I have been writing consistenly for a solid 15ish years now, have a creative writing master's behind me, (and over a million combined words in fan-fic LOL) and finally feel in a creative place where I'm ready to (hopefully) start publishing, in whatever form it takes!

So, onto the point here: Novel Intro!

YES! Some of you (might) remember my novel Sauvarin - well, it's back, babey! And about 95-99% complete!! Currently on my last round of scene-rewrites and line editing before I begin the horrifying task of querying!

Only been ten years in the making, lmao >.>

So, what the heck is SAUVARIN??

TLDR: fantasy post-apocalypse featuring an autistic blacksmith who is utterly oblivious to the local boot-legger Trying Very HArd to be her girlfriend (pray for Yenn, y'all! She is being SO brave about it!) Said blacksmith, Isaura, is instead on A Mission Of Great Importance to inter the ashes of her surrogate father, Soo-young, in his childhood home town. Except, no one's ever heard of this town, the internet's broken, and she accidenatlly discovers that METAL IS LIVING NOW???

Why do all "simple requests" always end up being the most cataclysmic???

Want to know more? Please go ahead, if not, thanks for looking in this far :)

Well, on to major themes and elements! We've got:

NON-DYSTOPIAN post-apocalypse (we're currently living in the dystopia, y'all!), set in the near distant future where the vast majority of humanity has fled climate change to an orbital space station leaving circa 10million people on earth. The endlings determined to protect what they still can, raise their children, protect their towns, and face whatever magic storms come their way. But right now? They have food, they have community, and there's always something silly to laugh at!

It is a LOW-FANTASY, meaning we've got: freaky and intelligent animals! A magic so new to the world, most people don't realise it's possible! The corpse of god! Cool mushrooms! A darkness that watches YOU! Baba-Yaga (she's a scientist now)! Old women who Take No Shit But Absolutely Know How To Harm!

NATURE mutating - what it "reclaims" in some areas, it mutates in others, or simply allows itself to start anew. Nature in this novel is very much embodiying the quote: "you cannot kill me in a way that matters". Freaky deer. Metal predators. Plants that grab onto YOU.

NOBODY WINS, BUT NO ONE LOSES EITHER the head of Department for Zoology took one look at the "provisional government" and just fucked off into the woods (Baba Yaga). "The Hero" of the orbital space station realising what their heroism actually cost the earth in raw materials. The dead are returned, but not to the life they remembered leaving. Sometimes you do, in fact, find the ghost of a child in the woods (it's okay if you are not sure what to do next).

Well, that's probably enough for now. I'll do some character intro posts (as memes!) hopefully over the weekend - it's a fairly big cast with a lot of minor-in-screen-time-but-major-in-plot characters so it'll be a bit of a series, I think.

Any questions? Feel free to ask! But I will be moving all writeblr stuff/posts about this blog over to my new side blog @veratasswrites so if you want to follow the posts, please follow that blog!

I'll tag some of the old writeblrs I'd followed/who were so awesome and welcoming the first time - but if you're not interested or anything I really mean NO PRESSURE!

@ryan-shepard-writes, @writeblrfantasy, @magic-is-something-we-create

Anyone's welcome to be +/- tag list!

Thank's so much for reading! :)



[directionoftime]

Writeblr Re-Intro

Hey Writeblr!! I attempted to join the community a few years back but way too quickly found myself overwhelmed and eneded up fizzling out >.> but I'm back now and hoping to make a better (less stressed out) effort! A bit worried I might have burnt-off some of the writeblr folks by just kinda peace-ing out, but I really do hope to make a better go of it this time around and post/interact more often! (I have so many writeblr posts to catch up on, yikes!)

About me: Vera (she/her) I have been writing consistenly for a solid 15ish years now, have a creative writing master's behind me, (and over a million combined words in fan-fic LOL) and finally feel in a creative place where I'm ready to (hopefully) start publishing, in whatever form it takes!

So, onto the point here: Novel Intro!

YES! Some of you (might) remember my novel Sauvarin - well, it's back, babey! And about 95-99% complete!! Currently on my last round of scene-rewrites and line editing before I begin the horrifying task of querying!

Only been ten years in the making, lmao >.>

So, what the heck is SAUVARIN??

TLDR: fantasy post-apocalypse featuring an autistic blacksmith who is utterly oblivious to the local boot-legger Trying Very HArd to be her girlfriend (pray for Yenn, y'all! She is being SO brave about it!) Said blacksmith, Isaura, is instead on A Mission Of Great Importance to inter the ashes of her surrogate father, Soo-young, in his childhood home town. Except, no one's ever heard of this town, the internet's broken, and she accidenatlly discovers that METAL IS LIVING NOW???

Why do all "simple requests" always end up being the most cataclysmic???

Want to know more? Please go ahead, if not, thanks for looking in this far :)

Well, on to major themes and elements! We've got:

NON-DYSTOPIAN post-apocalypse (we're currently living in the dystopia, y'all!), set in the near distant future where the vast majority of humanity has fled climate change to an orbital space station leaving circa 10million people on earth. The endlings determined to protect what they still can, raise their children, protect their towns, and face whatever magic storms come their way. But right now? They have food, they have community, and there's always something silly to laugh at!

It is a LOW-FANTASY, meaning we've got: freaky and intelligent animals! A magic so new to the world, most people don't realise it's possible! The corpse of god! Cool mushrooms! A darkness that watches YOU! Baba-Yaga (she's a scientist now)! Old women who Take No Shit But Absolutely Know How To Harm!

NATURE mutating - what it "reclaims" in some areas, it mutates in others, or simply allows itself to start anew. Nature in this novel is very much embodiying the quote: "you cannot kill me in a way that matters". Freaky deer. Metal predators. Plants that grab onto YOU.

NOBODY WINS, BUT NO ONE LOSES EITHER the head of Department for Zoology took one look at the "provisional government" and just fucked off into the woods (Baba Yaga). "The Hero" of the orbital space station realising what their heroism actually cost the earth in raw materials. The dead are returned, but not to the life they remembered leaving. Sometimes you do, in fact, find the ghost of a child in the woods (it's okay if you are not sure what to do next).

Well, that's probably enough for now. I'll do some character intro posts (as memes!) hopefully over the weekend - it's a fairly big cast with a lot of minor-in-screen-time-but-major-in-plot characters so it'll be a bit of a series, I think.

Any questions? Feel free to ask! But I will be moving all writeblr stuff/posts about this blog over to my new side blog @veratasswrites so if you want to follow the posts, please follow that blog!

I'll tag some of the old writeblrs I'd followed/who were so awesome and welcoming the first time - but if you're not interested or anything I really mean NO PRESSURE!

@ryan-shepard-writes, @writeblrfantasy, @magic-is-something-we-create,

[hauntedfalcon]

Can we stop acting like the fact that AO3 didn't have to fund legal fees is a bad thing?

Its literally what we, as content creators, want. It means no jumped up Anne Rice wanna-be came after content creators. It means that the content creators using AO3 did so within full service and operation of both the law and site policy. It means that we were able to do what we enjoy doing, without threat, for two consecutive years.

Probably because people were too busy with a literal global pandemic to be serving C&D or DMCA forms over fucking fanfic, but hey, who knows, right?

It is not a bad thing.

Also, just so you know, AO3's fundraising goal is the literal bare minimum figure they'd have to have as their in-flow cash in order to function based off a cashflow forecast and internal financial analysis. Have you ever looked at your job and worked out the bare minimum you'd have to work to have all your bills paid? Yeah, that's AO3's set target for their fundraisers.

For full transparency, here's the flow chart of AO3's full 2022 budget and cashflow.

THIS IS WHAT WE WANT.

Personally if I saw that AO3 had a $00.00 flatline for in-kind legal advocacy every single year? Fuck yeah. I'd love that. Because it means nobody needed it.

But I'll bet you're pissed that big bad AO3 got so much money, mm? Its okay widdle babey, here's the cashflow analysis of the biggest corporate charities to make you feel better. AO3's annual income for the last six years alone doesn't even touch the figures you see below.

AO3 is literally not taking away from anyone. The only thing you're mad about is you feel entitled to that money because you have this skewed notion you would've received it had AO3 not. That's not how life works. AO3's donations aren't even 50% of the top 10 global charity networks and corporations. AO3 isn't 'taking away donations people in need would've received' or whatever other half-assed argument you've got brewing.

Just leave it the fuck alone. Nobody's making you use it. Nobody's forcing you to donate. Literally nobody is 'missing out' because a few hundred thousand people donated their spare change to fund the one fucking site we have, at all, that is worth said spare change. I'd rather throw a dollar at AO3 every single day for the rest of my entire life than be forced to used Wattpad or LiveJournal.

Oxfam 2019 - 2022: £30,790,000. A 24% increase. Bernardo's 2021: £280,500,000. RSPCA 2021: £151,800,000.

wow, it’s amazing how many defenders of a fanfic site manage to be so fucking illiterate.

yes you petulant little stooge, I am pissed that AO3 got so much money when people on this webbed site are literally starving and trying to pay for surgery and, you know, actual important shit like that

I’m pissed that every six months the Greek chorus of “ooooooooooooh donate to AO3 and the OTW because the legal work they do is impoooooortaaaaaaaant” starts up again, that legal advocacy is the number one thing people cite to get other people to part with their money, that mutuals who really should know better have told me that the OTW is ~~~pretty much always~~~ involved in some legal development when all of that is a full fucking lie, it’s a goddamn joke to imagine one nonprofit’s legal department is actively protecting all of us from being sued while somehow also spending no money, especially when they didn’t even protect their own users from having their work stolen off AO3 and put behind a paywall a couple years back, give me an entire break

and in exactly the same way, “because of your generosity, we have a sizeable surplus and we’re now looking into a diversified investment portfolio” was a lie for years and it never happened and they finally just… quietly omitted it from their financial reports

I’m pissed that a fourteen year old nonprofit has never bothered to diversify their funding at all with grants for specific projects, and instead relies on unallocated funds from donors, and they justify this piss poor practice simply because “we are supported entirely by our users” looks better

I’m pissed that every time I mention how their “transparent” budget is actually pretty pants about certain things, like the fact that they changed the amounts in their estimated columns to match what actually came in, and how nonprofit budgets are publicly available for this exact reason, so that we the public can decide if they’re actually doing what they ought to be doing before we give them our money, some tiresome little pissant climbs out of a puddle to send me a link to the exact fucking spreadsheet I got my information from

so no I will not be leaving it alone, thanks, I will fucking increase the fucking thing. you sound like a sucker, so you’d better go donate to AO3

[the-finch-address]

Stop thinking about your kidneys and start telling me about the most formative piece of media for you

Can't pin any one media down as the most formative because growing up I soaked up any and all content I could get my hands on, but out of everything, a piece of media that's stuck with me the most through the years has to be Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson.

Most people know the author from her book, Speak, which is all fair and good but it never spoke to me in the way Wintergirls did. This one book felt like it was made specifically for me, and I've never read another book that offered that feeling since.

I'm not one for reading first person - in fact, I tend to avoid books in that pov because I can never get into them. But Wintergirls is the sole exclusion to that rule and always has been. It's truly unforgettable.

Aside from how it touched me emotionally, this book singlehandedly can be blamed for my writing style. Before Wintergirls, I'd never seen a book flow so casually, it felt like the character was speaking to me directly, not through pages and not through a writer, but as though she were in my bedroom at three in the morning, sleep-deprived as I was while reading it, telling me about her life as though we were gossiping. I can't explain it well enough just look--

(sorry for the photo quality I literally pulled out my hardback copy for this).

There's even a later section where Lia (MC) faints, and instead of skipping over it there are literally just blank pages until she wakes up. Look!!

That^ technique will no doubt make an appearance in The Dog Yard, mark my words.

This book took my heart out and didn't let me look away. It kept me up at night, asking questions that I'm still haunted by to this day. It changed me as a person, how I acted, how I treated people, and how I treated myself, especially.

It should be noted that Lia suffers from an arrangement of mental disorders, the worst being a nasty eating disorder, which is what the book focuses on. I was going through the same things at the time I first read this book (since recovered - nine years, babey!) and that, obviously, means that I'm in some way biased about the story. That being said, I've read it dozens upon hundreds of times since, and even after recovery I still hold this book above any other.

It's stern. It's raw. It's ugly. It throws the grotesque in your face and forces you to look. It takes the relationship between estranged childhood friends and uses that as a chokehold throughout the story, tightening with each chapter. But the payoff? The resolve? That final page? It's the cleanest breath of air you'll ever get.

[milf-harrington]

i hope it's not bothersome but I'd like your opinion on two (2) things: 1. what are your thoughts on suzukka (i love them sm) 2. What are your thoughts on Katara being an absolute badass (that owns my entire heart) -oh WAIT

I'm not sure what I'm doing here or what I'm trying to accomplish but the important bit is I'm trying. I think it started as a joke and turned into whatever this is.

me answering this with half a brain because i've been abnormally exhausted lately-

okay

1. suzukka/sukki is such a good ship. i really think they balance each other out while also helping each other to be their best selves and stuff and just,,, im love them

2. katara being a badass? that's just facts babey. the girl masters an incredibly unique and difficult sub-form of waterbending at the age of 14 after only like. a few days of lessons- none of which actually involved bloodbending itself until the moment she used it against her teacher in order to protect her brother and her friends (not to mention the use of an earthbending stance, something she would have picked up from toph).

- she challenged a northern waterbending master to a fight and only lost due to lack of experience not to lack of talent.

- she looked at a hurting kid in the catacombs of a palace, a kid who had chased them across the map and who's sister was currently taking over the city, and offered him kindness.

- she was forced to face a less-than-stable azula in a fight and won, and then immediately started trying to heal her friend eventhough she would have been exhausted and scared.

- she looked the man who mercilessly killed her mother in the eyes, held the metaphorical knife at his throat, and let him live. (after stopping the rain like cmon dude)

- she didn't take shit from anybody, not her brother, not zuko, not toph, not the fucking avatar.

- that one time she was willing to take on a whole prison to rescue those earthbenders from haru's village

- many more small instances of her standing up and doing something when no one else would

and finally, the thing that i think makes katara the ultimate badass:

the fact that, despite living a life soaked in war, despite hunger and stress and fear and loss; she still looked at the world and said "we can fix this."

[plasmapop]

(1/2) hey, this is a pretty broad request but i'd rly rly appreciate it if you could answer in as much detail as possible :) ive won a few things here and there for my poetry but if im being real i have no fuckin idea what im doing lol. i have literally no technical knowledge of poetry (e.g. how to manipulate form/metre/the diff types of poems) and as a result i write everything in freeverse. my biggest strength is probs being able to create strong/emotional imagery but like

hello! there is a Lot happening here but i will try!

i answered a question about writing in metre here. i learnt about forms and metre and stuff in like. year 7 english class, where we got told the names for different feet and also what sonnets and villanelles are. The Rest Is All Google. there’s a wiki page with a list of poetic forms and for various catullus translations i was just going like. oh that sounds cool! cinquain time babey!

but also i only really write metrical/formal poetry when i’m translating things and most of my own stuff is free verse…… or is it?????? imo free verse literally! doesn’t! exist! first of all because lots of “free verse” poetry secretly has metrical lines. one of my fave poems is postscript by seamus heaney and for a While i was like. how is the ending so Familiar and Conclusive! and then i noticed that the final line and also a bunch of other lines are Secretly Iambic Pentameter. free verse is also Fake because it is not Free. formal poetry feels like way less effort to me because with a sonnet, you Know where the lines have to end. there are fewer Decisions To Be Made. but to make “free” verse not just prose with linebreaks, you have to think about Every Single Decision! you have to find the best place to end each line and get the sounds right and make sure the rhythm of every line fits together right! and you can figure out how to do That by reading free verse which is good, and seeing what lines start and end on and why it works, and by reading free verse which is Bad (dare i say r*pi k**r) and trying to figure out why the linebreaks are where they are (it’s arbitrary). the tldr is that once you can recognise formal/metrical things, you can notice them in the poetry that you read, and then see what effects they create, and then do that yourself. nice!

The Content Of A Poem However! idk if it’s technicality which adds to the meaningfulness of a poem so much as how the meaning is expressed. which yea is in words which are arranged technically, but is also in the choice and arrangement of images and stuff. poems That I Like i feel have a Cool Idea which is then expressed in Cool Imagery…. but it is the idea that is the cool and important thing. which isn’t to say that an interesting image can’t develop into an interesting idea, but that if a poem is just oh ichor pomegranates hands oh darling [reference to greek myth] teeth then like. what does that Say. is there actually anything to untangle behind that. sometimes? anyway. in a display of hubris im gonna go through how i wrote my timothy corsellis prize poem as an example of how to do whatever the fuck im doing

The First Thing is figuring out what a poem is About. i read a bio of anna akhmatova and Made Some Notes, and then read the lines abt cuneiform in requiem and went oh! gilgamesh! -> people and writing are both clay -> the idea that people are stories as much as writing is -> the fragility of clay as either writing or people

then i did some Thinking about how the only mention of writing in requiem is the cuneiform, but akhmatova couldn’t actually read cuneiform. which lead to the tension between text as immortalising or incriminating. thinking about Text made me think about Textiles, and then i got the image of requiem as like lace. “history with the gaps already woven in” stays all the way until the final version.

THEN i was thinking about differences between lace and clay. lace has holes in it, but memorialisation through textile production is still memorialisation through Production, whereas cuneiform holds memory in Impressions, which are Absences. so then i made a list of things with holes in that i might want to use elsewhere in the poem. near the end it kinda turned into fun and related images that are Not about holes

next is more thoughts abt the cuneiform image in requiem and what it Means, re: a face only memorialises when it is near death or affected by death? here is where i figured out that i wanted to keep the lace image, but say that requiem is Not like that, because memory is an Absence, and because for akhmatova a text/textile would be incriminating. “what she describes, she cannot write down” happened here, referencing one of the quotes at the start of requiem, where a woman in the prison queue asks akhmatova if she can describe it, as in, is it describable at all? 

once i had the central ideas of people as unreadable texts / memorials without words / tension between memory as presence or absence, i tried doing. a Coherent Draft. stanzas here started “the winter” but in the final version start “in those days” because i realised. if you’re talking about how it’s Cold, you don’t have to mention that it’s winter, and also to reference an akhmatova poem that repeats “in those days” a bunch. it might be pwoah?

when i figured out most of the images i wanted and had vaguely functional sentences i Clarified the ideas / order of ideas / message i wanted in the poem so i wouldn’t get confused, and then i rearranged bits of drafts, and then rewrote several more drafts. “what she describes, she cannot write down” turned into the opening “she can describe this, but not write it down. / to write it down would be like making lace: // history with the gaps already woven in, unravelling” etc etc which! you may notice! means the first two lines are iambic pentameter, which is Neat Like Lace, but the line about Unravelling is where the metre Unravels also. i also just made the sentences Nicer. stuff like adding in sound effects so lines resonate with one another (drown/down/sound at the end of successive lines) and splitting the poem into numbered sections, which i decided to do because it didn’t feel like a continuous narrative so much as several approaches to an idea, and also bcs requiem itself is split up like that.

And Then Finally i came up with a title like. 4 minutes before the deadline for sending the poem in :/ 

hopefully that was Vaguely Useful? most of my poems start with a Fun Idea, develop through me overthinking an image for that idea that i think of while half asleep, Get Really Complicated And Accumulate Imagery, get Clarified and also tidied up, and then submitted right before the deadline. The End.

[omniscientspinelfanatic]

Just The Darnedest Thing; Chp. 2- You Leave Me Dizzy

Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak Squeak-!!

"C'mon c'mon c'moooooon slowpoke, we're almost there!"

"O-Okay, okay, calm down, I'm going as fast as I can without eating floor, you goober!"

"Liar! I've seen ya run much faster!!"

Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap Tap-!

"Well yeah, when I had tennis shoes on; sandals aren't exactly the world's best running shoes on super-polished floors, you know!"

"Steven can run in them just fine!"

"He's goddamn Steven, Savior of the frickin' Galaxy, of course he can! Just because I can touch the back of my head with the tips of my toes doesn't mean I can compare to him~!" Was the breathless snark the dark-skinned human's companion received in return, dark curls bouncing wildly with every harried step. Her excitable pink guide looked back at her with a smirk as she continued to pull her forward by the hand.

"Yes, you can! Yer just modest!"

"And you're biased!"

".....Touché! Now it's just around this corner, c'mon!" Speeding up with a giggle and rounding a glittering corner, the small jokester came to a sudden stop, causing Xana to have to pump the breaks hard in order to not bowl her friend over. Sandals and overly-smooth surfaces weren't the best combinations for traction though, and the awkward woman just barely managed to keep from slipping and landing on her behind by bracing her free hand against Spinel's shoulder. Pouting down at the way too innocent looking expression glancing up at her, having absorbed the shock from the human's stumble and moved not a single inch, she watched as Spinel gestured to their new surroundings with a bright grin. "Look dollface~."

Even though the human huffed and placed her hands on her hips as she played up her stern expression, it fell right off into blank astonishment at the exquisite sight before her.

It was... a massive courtyard dominated by a truly gigantic pool of water. At the bottom of the concavity lay thousands upon thousands of sparkling crystals, placed down in interweaving angular patterns in chromatic rhythm. And high above the surface, dozens of crystalline basins in different sizes and shades of blue, yellow, pink and white laid afloat in the air at different heights, serenely pouring the water within them into lower basins until it reached the bottom. In the middle was a spire topped by a delicate, abstracted figure sculpted in quartz so clear it looked like glass, one hand outstretched towards the sky while the other covered its eyes. Water poured from the obscured section, running down its body and into the highest basin to travel all the way back down to the pool in rivulets.

It was clear, due to the beauty of the entire room, that the popularity of the location was well-founded; several gems of all shapes and sizes were gathered around and enjoying the peaceful atmosphere, joking and smiling amongst each other in small groups all around. It was such a nice sight to see, one that placed a small nugget of warmth beside her heart.

Seeing all these Gems relaxing and having a good time, it was sad to think there was a point in time, not so long ago, that such a thing was practically outlawed.

This was a much better sight, in her humble opinion.

"Sooooo~?" Spinel drawled out, hands clasped behind her back as she bounced on her feet in anticipation of her friend's answer. "Do ya like it~?"

"Like it?? Spins, I love it!!" Xana squealed in delight before slapping a hand over her mouth upon realizing just how loud she was. Twinkling eyes flickered back and forth to giddily take in every part the beautiful sight, her form bouncing on the balls of her sandaled feet as she fought the urge to immediately sprint for the clear looking water. The place looked like something straight out of a fantasy setting! "This is... Gorgeous~!" She managed to squeak out through her fingers, before looking back at Spinel with an excited grin. "Is this one of your favorite spots to hang out while you're home~?"

Such glee was infectious, especially to a Spinel; she grinned widely as she took a proud stance. "Got it in one, sugarplum! Playin' in the water is loads'a fun! Which is nice, cause we don't 'ave much of that around here, not like on Earth. But we've gotten better at it the past couple'a years!"

"That's great!! Whoever put this together, man, did they hit all the marks!" The young woman gushed, a hand pressed against her cheek as she returned the excited waves of a few pebbles wading in the shallower parts nearby. "This is just... Stunning!"

Oh boy, was it ever, but Spinel's gaze wasn't on the opulent ambiance in the slightest. No, no, the soft cafe colored human buzzing with all the energy of a young kitten held every last bit of the gem's attention. The tinted and refracted light that filtered through all the water and glass hit her face, her hair, her hands, her whole body... To her, Xana truly brought the whole thing together. The final stroke to complete a masterpiece, it was almost dizzying.

"Damn, too bad I don't have a swimsuit on me..." Drawn out of her reverie by the sound of disappointment in... ah, to hell with it, her human's voice (unacceptable!), she looked up to see one of Xana's cheeks puffed out in a cute pout as she looked longingly over the pristine water and glittering ledges before the two of them. "Cause I would sure jump in there otherwise..."

A ponytail flopping against her face as she tilted her head to the side, Spinel's brow furrowed momentarily as she frowned. Xana couldn't go swimming in what she had on now? She hadn't planned for this... "What's wrong with the clothes you have on now?"

"Hm? Oh," the woman turned to chuckle at the pink gem's befuddled face, gesturing to her dress, "this material isn't made to handle water for extended periods of time like swimsuits are; it'd soak up the water and get heavy and it would make the fibers it's made of easier to rip and tear. Plus, I don't have any towels or other clothes to change into, and... I'm guessing you wanna do other things after we're done here?" Squeaking furiously as she nodded her agreement, Xana hummed as if she expected that answer. "That's what I thought. Wet clothes aren't the most comfortable thing to just play around in."

"Hmm..." The pliable jester's frown deepened, tapping a finger against her chin in thought. "...You could always take your dress off and put it back on after?"

She hadn't expected for Xana to make a choked noise of extreme shock and fluster at the suggestion, blinking as she was promptly given a flushed stupefied look like the mere thought of such an action was incomprehensible. "Oh my stars, what?!?!" The human hissed in chagrin. "A-Absolutely not!!"

Eyes wide, Spinel held up her hands placatingly, clueless as to why her human looked about ready to poof her. "W-Why not? I don't-"

"Because!!" She yell-squeaked with discomfiture, hands flailing as she sputtered for words. "T-That's...! It's...! To do something like that in front of a whole bunch of people that you don't??? Know??? That's soooo not okay, it's not even funny!"  Not to mention in front of her mega-huge crush?!?! She wouldn't do something like that even if a gun was being held to her head!

"....I'm so confused." The gem had to admit, she was very lost on this one. "How-"

"It's indecent!!"  The sibilant instance cut her off, punctuated by the curvy organic being wrapping her arms around herself protectively and shivering in absolute horror. "I'd never do something like that, it'd be so embarrassing. I'd rather drop dead!"

The young human was sure that the blank stare she was receiving would have been hilarious in any other situation, but right now it was making her curse wildly at the existence of cultural barriers. The purest of relief crashed over her form as understanding flickered in Spinel's gaze, hitting her fist into her palm. "Ohhhhh... Is this about that modesty thing you told me humans care so much about?"

Xana grimaced and nodded, dragging a hand slowly down her hot face. "Incredibly so, you complete goof."

"O-Oh, heh, uh," The gem felt herself blush lightly, dismayed to know she made her bestie uncomfortable even for a second, "Sorry?? I didn't know... Didn't mean to make ya uncomfy or nothin', promise!"

"Hhhhhhhhhhhh-" Attempting to scrub away the heat from her cheeks with her hands, the femme allowed herself to release a somewhat strangled chuckle as she pinched at the bridge of her nose. Even if she had no clue what she had been suggesting, the very source of her ardor had literally just proposed for her to strip. If Pan-Panic(ᵀᵐ) had an example in a dictionary, it would be displaying Xana's current expression. "I know, I know, you're... You're fine! I'm just a bit f-flustered is all, I wasn't expecting... that."

"Yer... not mad at me?"

"Shocked? Yes. Embarrassed? Absolutely. Mad? No, not even close." Shaking her head with a wired giggle, she ran her hands through her disorderly mane, rubbing at her scalp with her fingertips to try and calm herself down. "It's not like you said it cause you were being a pervert or anything." She sighed, unaware that Spinel's face had begun to glow a deep pink. That could've been construed as perverted?! "A-And to be fair, I don't really think there's a faux pas in your culture that really translates all that well to this particular instance considering Gems don't really, uh, wear clothes. You certainly couldn't have known, s-so it's okay!"

Even with the reassurance, Spinel couldn't help but feel incredibly meek about the misunderstanding. She ignored the few stares the two of them were beginning to get, pressing her pointer fingers together shyly. "Still... M'sorry darlin'. I just don't want ya ta miss out, I know how much you love playin' in water." She glanced a bit sadly around the room, disappointment settling so deep into her malleable features that Xana couldn't help but feel extremely guilty about her reaction. "I guess we could always find somethin' else ta do..."

Noooo, babey, dun look so sad, please-

Wanting to wipe the sad expression off her face quickly, the human wracked her brain furiously for a solution, glaring down at her dress as if it's very existence was offending her, which it currently was; Why couldn't reality just bend to her will for an hour or tw-

Wait.

Oh!

"No, wait!" She exclaimed, drawing Spinel's attention back towards her. Grinning widely at the look of question she received, she leaned over to grip at the hem of her dress on the right side. "I have an idea!"

"Huh? What are ya-" The gem's speech screeched to a sudden halt, eyes widening slightly as Xana exposed far more of her legs than she ever willingly had before now. Something in her chest flip-flopped and her face began to heat as she watched her human bunch the fabric up as much as she could in her right hand and pulling it taut before muscling it into a knot that rested on her hip.

The cocoa-skinned girl smiled down at her innovation, as her dress was now hitched up her thighs to the point where it couldn't get easily wet while still covering her modesty. Sure, her legs were bare and that was often something that made her anxious, but she certainly felt safe enough to allow this slight vulnerability (Gems of all people weren't going to care if her legs weren't covered and after Spinel's earlier naive suggestion, this was nothing). She gave the skin of her thighs she could reach in her upright position a gentle pat before twirling in place with a small giggle. "There! That should do it! Whatcha think Spinsy? I won't be able to full-on swim still, but I can at least get more than my feet wet with my dress tied up like this~!"

What did Spinel think? Oh, well, it was rather hard to tell through the loud perplexed screeching in her mind upon seeing more of Xana uncovered.

It made absolutely no sense as to why she was feeling so shaken and warm at the new sight. After all, they had just established that Gems didn't exactly have modesty and certainly didn't have clothes! Xana was particular about the clothes she wore, or so she said; to be honest, Spinel kinda forgot she actually had a solid body underneath all the flowy fabrics that were usually draped over her form. She hadn't really seen much more than her arms, face, and feet, so this? Being able to see parts of her sweet, gorgeous human she hadn't ever seen before??

It was strangely thrilling.

"A-Ah, you're... You're, uh, staring kinda hard, Spins..." Xana murmured shyly, starting to twiddle her fingers nervously and snapping the pink being out of her trance. "Heh... I, um, I've never shown this much skin before, huh? Is it... weird?"

"No!" Jumping slightly at Spinel's ardent denial, wide eyes watched as her bestie shook her head wildly, her hands hung in the air pleadingly as if urging her to stop that train of thought immediately. "Nononononono, I was jus'...! Surprised, thats'all sugar! You've... I-I've neva' seen so much o' ya before now and it's... Different? B-But it's good kinda different!" The jester rushed to assure, a nervous and crooked grin twisting her face as she witnessed that pretty red overtaking the human's cheeks again. "I guess yer jus' so pretty that I couldn't help but, uh, y'know... Stare."

Smooth. Sooooo smooth Spinel, honestly; 'good kinda different'? Truly the pinnacle of sophisticated compliments.

"O-Oh well... Eheh, uh, thanks~?" Xana responded with a demure flattered smile, reaching back to rub at the back of her head awkwardly. "I don't know about 'pretty', per se... But I do agree that my legs are my best feature! Thick thighs save lives and, ha, all that. I could almost rival Garnet!" She did a little wiggle of her hips, kicking off her sandals and finally skipping over to the nearest edge of the pool with a bashful laugh. As she peered around for a safe place to step into the pristine water, Spinel couldn't help but continue her staring from before.

She gulped harshly as her eyes traced the outline of the newly bared skin, feeling her Gem heat more and more the longer she gawked. Xana's legs were so lovely, imperfect and human and wonderful in a way that was solely her. Unique, one-of-a-kind, nothing compared to the smooth rigidity of a Gems' hardlight form. A shapely treasure that was just supple and delicate and-

"You coming Spinny?" The femme called back curiously as she eased herself into the pool, careful to make sure she didn't slip on the slick tiled flooring. Thank goodness it wasn't as sharp as it looked, that certainly wouldn't have been comfortable. Glancing behind her, she rose a brow in interest as the gem startled back into reality and gave a soft giggle. "You sure are daydreaming a lot all of a sudden. C'mon, the water feels great!"

Right! Water! To play in! Let's go!

Without a single word, she took a running start for the pool and with a high jump and a cackle, the pink prankster cannonballed straight into the pool, sending water flying in every direction.

Yelping a bit at the sudden action, Xana shielded her face from the large droplets the splash had sent in her direction. "Ohmigosh!!" Looking over her dress and clicking her tongue in dissatisfaction as seeing a few damp spots over the fabric, her pout came back full force as she looked over at her goofy friend sinking into the water with a loud snicker, the only part of her still above the clear liquid being the upper half of her face. "Spins!" She chided loudly, though the attempt at sternness was totally ruined by the happy smirk she was flashing. "And here I was trying not to get wet~!"

"Heheh~. Sorry!"

"No, you're not, ya goober." The human huffed, grinning as she shook out her hair to get rid of any stray droplets.

"Yeah, yer right toots, I really ain't." Cackling underneath her breath, the stretchy gem fashioned her lower legs into a rudder and a fan and propelled herself around in the water while making motor noises, much to the delight of the young woman. She whistled a chirpy tune as she cruised around the centerpiece all willy-nilly, making 'toot toot' sounds as to warn others of her presence. Xana couldn't help but watch with twinkling eyes as she tried to follow as best as she could, much to Spinel's immense amusement. This devolved into a rousing game of Hide and Seek Keep-Away, with the human crying foul about how quick Spinel promptly used her elastic abilities for evil; which in this case, was pure evasion.

"No fair, Spinny!" Xana stamped her foot in displeasure, ignoring the small splash she made as she glared up at the lowest basin floating above the two of them where the wiggly gem had absconded to after she had gotten just a tad too close to catching the trickster for her liking; low though it was, it was still waaaay out of the woman's reach. "That's cheating!! You know I can't get up there!"

The pink jackass smirked like the little shit she was, peeking over the edge of the glittering stone bowl overflowing with water down at her and cackling like a hyena. "S'not cheatin' if they're my natural abilities, sweetheart! Don't be so salty~!"

"This powerless human will be as salty as she wants, thank you very much!" She complained with puffed up cheeks, turning away and holding her nose up in the air with a feigned sniff. The tall woman wasn't really angry of course, beyond a small bite of jealousy poking the back of her mind, but she couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit insignificant upon this reminder of her mediocrity.

Being a human with mostly average physical limits surrounded by essentially ageless aliens who could bench her whole weight without showing the slightest bit of strain was rather cool, sure, but it had its own special brand of sting; Xana wasn't ignorant to how Gems back home would look at her and her fellow humans as if a particularly strong summer's breeze would snap them in half if they weren't religiously watched like infants while hanging around the stronger race.

They meant well, Xana knew, but it still made her feel a bit sore. 'Here I am, with this boring human body...' She couldn't help but think, looking down at her reflection with a bit of shame and displeasure. 'Fragile and weak in comparison to her. What could she possibly like about all this squishiness? How could I even think I could ever be a match for her in the first place? Stupid, so so so stupid-'

"Doll? You okay?" Flickering her eyes away from the pensive blank stare she had unknowingly been giving the fountain's statue, the femme blinked upon seeing Spinel drifting down from the ledge above, one hand morphed into a small umbrella to soften the fall back into the pool. As she landed, hot pink eyes looked the human over with concern. "Did... I make ya mad? I was only jokin' with ya-"

"Pfff, nah," the curly-haired woman quickly shook her head, shooting her smaller friend a small smile to assuage her worry before turning her gaze back towards the statue with a thoughtful hum, "You're fine, silly. I was just... Lost in thought."

"Oh. Okay..." Spinel murmured a bit anxiously, clasping her hands together and brows furrowing. "A pearl for yer thoughts, maybe? I'm a pretty good listener all things considered, heh." The little entertainer smiled encouragingly as Xana returned her gaze to her friend. Upon seeing the uneasy care and kindness she was radiating, the woman's somewhat conflicted eyes softened.

'Bad Xana. Those are bad thoughts and you know it. She must like something about you, otherwise she wouldn't have stuck around you for two years. All that time has to count for something, right?' Sucking in a deep breath and holding it for a long moment, she exhaled with a vengeance, kicking out all the self-doubt causing discord in her head on its ass. 'Right. This is a good day, with your best friend, and you shouldn't let thoughts like that ruin your good time.'

"It's nothing, really." The woman then assured, reaching up to pet the pink comedian's head, who's eyes widened upon seeing a much more placid expression wipe away the half-pained, half-resigned one that had originally been there. "Just self-deprecating stuff... Thinking about how I'm not good enough, that sort of thing. You know how it is." Spinel frowned, but nodded; she knew that feeling well, after all. "But that stuff doesn't matter right now. What matters is that I'm here, with you." Xana smiled sweetly down at the gem's reddening face and chuckling. "My favorite person in the whole universe."

How was Spinel's gem not blinding everyone in the room right now? She could have sworn that any stray water droplets on her had evaporated into thin air with how hot she suddenly felt. "I'm... Yer favorite person? Me???"

No hesitation. "Yup~! No one else comes close."

"...W-What about Steven??"

Still no hesitation. "Second favorite."

"What?!"

"Well, he's the reason I got to meet you in the first place, isn't he?"

"Oh. W-Well, I mean, I... I guess..." The entertainer averted her eyes to the side, seemingly engrossed by whatever she thinking about. Her eyes flickered over their reflections thoughtfully before moving her hand to take Xana's own. "...Yer my favorite too, Doll, y'know that...?"

...This was officially the best day ever.

"I-I am?" The lone human managed to squeak out, face pinked and cobalt eyes glittering happily in the refracted light washing over them both. Spinel's own flush deepened as she stared hard at their image, but she nodded while muttering under her breath as if such a thing was hard for her to admit.

"Uh-huh..." Xana couldn't help it; giggles bubbled up her throat and past her lips as she pressed her empty hand against her face in pure elation. Spinel watched, perplexed, and maybe even a little worried. "What? What's wrong??"

"Nothing! I just... Haha, oh wow-" Glancing back at her through her splayed fingers, she smiled bashfully like the awkward creature she was. "I've never been anyone's favorite anything before!"

The small jester stared, wide-eyed, before a determined expression twisted her rosy mien--Her arms stretched out and looped around Xana's squishy form before pulling the human into the biggest hug she could manage. "Well, that's jus' stupid! Yer wonderful an' everyone should be able ta see it! Is everyone blind or somethin'?!" An amused snort was her answer, royal blues rolling playfully back at her.

"Not eeeeveryone I meet needs to like me, Spins." Xana crooned teasingly, snickering as she patted her back to mollify her ire.

"I don't see why not!" Spinel responded, incensed and frowning with a condensed brow. The gem honestly looked offended on her behalf. "Yer amazing! Anyone would be lucky ta have ya as a pal!"

"It would honestly be weird," The tall woman answered, shrugging her shoulders with a smile, "I don't need a nation's worth of fair-weather friends. Not when I have a handful of people so good to me that I consider them family. Who needs 'em when I have the Crystal Gems?" Without even thinking about it, she lifted a lithe hand to cup it gently against one of Spinel's streaked cheeks, humming gently at the pretty scarlet they promptly turned at the touch. She seemed conflicted as to whether or not she wanted to lean into the contact, especially when Xana started to rub gentle circles against the streaks with her thumb. "Not to mention you."

For a split second, Xana thought the gem's rosy pupils flickered into the shape of hearts but the frankly charming sight was gone before her brain could properly process it.

The comedian glanced away self-consciously, giving an embarrassed chuckle. "M'sure m'not all that great compared to the otha's but m'still glad ya think of me that way, Toots." She flinched as the human made a sound of acute outrage at in response, her hand moving to grasp the pink dynamo's chin and turn her head so she could look her dead in the eyes sternly.

Xana knew that this moment was drifting dangerously far away from being just a strictly 'friendly' heart to upside-down heart... And she wouldn't lie, her head was screaming at her to shut the hell up before she said something too revealing.

But.

The woman couldn't help but think. It was clear that today, while meant to be an innocently affectionate outing celebrating their time together, was turning into something a bit more... intimate. Which while flustering the hell out of her, Xana couldn't help but feel hopeful about. Spinel was a kooky and wild little rascal of a gem, but she was anything but stupid; Xana's earlier idiotic slip of the tongue (well, way more than a slip really) was a hopelessly obvious sign that she was longing for more than just a friendship with the rosy entertainer and considering her aversion for anything at all stronger than friendship, Spinel hadn't been? Dismissive?? Quite the opposite, in fact, even if she had panicked very quickly after her own little slip. And even as oblivious as she herself was, the human had noticed the gem's excessive staring when she thought she wasn't looking.

So she couldn't help but have the incredibly implausible and shakingly brittle optimism that maybe, just maybe, her beguin possibly returned her tender feelings.

The dark-skinned human had known that she had deep feelings for her pink friend for about six months or so now. And it was rather unlikely that Spinel would be the first to say anything; if she really did feel the same way, that is. And though she was absolutely terrified of being rejected, the human woman was starting to feel like that maybe she was more afraid of never telling Spinel the truth.

Xana hated being dishonest. It went against every single one of her morals; she had promised herself, at a very young age, that she wouldn't be anything like her derisive father or her vagabond mother. They were liars, traitors, the truest scum of the earth. She always told the truth, even if it was to her detriment because she knew that her parents could never do the same.

And wasn't keeping a secret technically lying? What if it was her brain that was holding her back and her heart was the one in the right place?

Besides, human life was short. Fragile. Startingly inconsequential in comparison to a Gem's practically immortal lifespan. Humans risked their lives every day by simply breathing. Xana knew she could be dead and gone tomorrow from a mere stupid accident or from some random person who didn't give enough of a damn about those around them. That was something she had learned and accepted at a very young age. She had seen what regret could do to a person; seen grief and sorrow and rage twist and warp a good person's psyche until they were bitter and practically unrecognizable. Risk was inevitable. Unavoidable.

You either took a chance to improve your life or learned to live with the regret of never taking the opportunity.

So the real question was...

Could Xana live with that regret if she stayed quiet for the rest of her life?

.....

"If the only Gem I could see on a daily basis for the rest of my life was you, I'd be the happiest human to ever exist." The woman boldly proclaimed, her answer giving her the confidence to force the words from her lips. She flushed as Spinel's eyes promptly widened to the size of saucers but she held firm, maintaining eye contact. "You give me something to look forward to when I wake up in the morning and I know I'll be able to see you."

Xana felt her stomach quiver and tremble with anxiety as the pink gem simply stared, slack-jawed, and she felt her confidence waver enough to make her look away, even though her hand remained on her friend's jaw brushing away what spare droplets landed close to her thumb. "Sorry if that's embarrassing or weird to hear, but, uh... It's true."

For a long jittery moment, the only sound between the two of them was the roaring of various Gem-Made waterfalls hitting the bottom and the distant quiet conversations of the other Gems nearby; Xana's chest felt tight with building panic and just barely managed to hold back a flinch when a gentle touch fluttered against the skin of her cheek.

"Ya... Really mean that." Azure eyes flickered back up to spy the warm, almost disbelieving countenance searching her own, as if she just couldn't understand how or why Xana could think so highly of her. "Ya really like bein' around me that much...?"

Relaxing with understanding, the curly-haired woman nodded once, wondering if her blush had stained her cheeks permanently yet. "Mmhm~. My favorite person, remember? I always enjoy myself when I'm with you."

This time, Xana knew for a fact Spinel's eyes morphed into hearts, compounded by the wobbly (lovesick? or was she reading too much into it?) simper that she was sporting as well.

'So cute...'

Still, not wanting to overwhelm her, Xana backed up a step, smiling assuringly at the somewhat dazed and delighted expression hazily watching her movements. "Besides," A content sigh left her as she refocused on the feeling of the water brushing up against her ankles and then her calves, smiling as she leaned down to cup a bit of water into her palms and then toss it into the air with a happy shout that snapped the gem out of her distracted rumination, "A day playing in water is never not fun!"

Eyes sparkling with admiration and a wide grin stretching her face, Spinel whooped for joy at the infectious enthusiasm. "H-Haha, you said it!" She cheered loudly, speeding around Xana like the roadrunner before grabbing onto one of the higher basins and flinging herself up, landing inside with a spin and slinging water a great distance all around her. She received several complaints from nearby gems who consequently got splashed for her efforts and replied very maturely by sticking out her tongue and making faces at them, gleefully cackling as she turned to finally grin back down at Xana.

The femme smiled back, watching her infatuation bound around the tiny floating islands with a soft knowing chuckle; that had been... a bit heavy. The little jester probably needed a bit of time to process all of that.

But!! Spinel's reaction!! Was not at all discouraging!! That was... just incredible to Xana! Maybe she had a chance after all!

However, she had to be subtle--Being too bold or too forceful could end up with Spinel being scared off and Xana certainly didn't want that. She was prepared to play the long game for this one. After all, she had waited two years to get a clue and woman up; she'd wait as long as she'd need to.

For Spinel, it'd be absolutely worth it.

They weren't sure how long they played in the ever-moving waters of the fountain, laughing and playing little games with each other, but it was for quite a while. Spinel could have stayed there for another 6000 years with Xana and she wouldn't have noticed time passing them by.

And that really said it all, didn't it?

As she watched Xana study the architecture of the fountain with fascinated eyes and shyly converse with a few curious Gems that had never seen a human before, the elastic jester sunk a bit deeper into her floating pool a ways above and let herself... ponder. About her human.

Today had been a bit of a rollercoaster so far. Being around Xana always tended to make Spinel feel like she was dizzy or drunk with happiness, but this was way different. She had bounced from excited to embarrassed to smug and just cycled through those emotions like that one spinning ride back at Beach City's Funland.

At the moment though? She was... content. Yeah, that was the word. This was a quiet kind of joy, and that was okay. She didn't have to try to be entertaining or try to do what she was originally made for when it came to Xana--They just complemented each other. Xana soothed the dark thoughts that always brewed in the back of her mind, while Spinel gave her the confidence to shine like the star she had always knew she was. The valleys of self-doubt felt less steep when her human was there beside her, while the mountains of their combined glee made Spinel feel like she was soaring.

Their relationship was easy. Natural. Equal.

In two years, a human had done what a Diamond couldn't do in two thousand.

And those years had flown by so fast. To Spinel, it felt like she had blinked and all that time had just disappeared. Granted, such little time was like a single grain of sand on a beach to a gem, but to a human? Such time was precious, for they had so little of it.

And Xana had given it to her like it was nothing. And declared she'd continue doing so without a second thought.

That... That meant a lot.

'Even with how wrong and damaged I am,' Spinel thought, head placed on her crossed arms as she surveyed Xana gently tracing one of the colorful murals displayed with a slender finger, 'she's stayed by my side when she didn't 'ave ta. Even when I yelled, or pushed her away, or cried for whole days at a time... It's rare ta find a person willin' to do all that for ya, isn't it...?' She exhaled deeply through her nose, eyes softening as she witnessed Xana pick up a group of pebbles gathering around her feet and start chatting with them excitedly, clearly taken by how small and cute they were. 'Is that what people who love ya do?'

The thought came unexpectedly, giving her pause.

...Funny how certain words just kept turning up.

It was like the whole universe was trying to tell her something. And Spinel knew what that something was.

She was just afraid to face it.

The word itself still felt a bit... Raw to her, like something abrasive was being scratched against her gem. After all, she had been made to love unconditionally from the very beginning, to be a friend that would always be there, and had only received indifference and betrayal in return for it in the past. The idea of setting herself up for that again frightened the hell out the comedian. She had gotten better with being friendly with others, sure, and she was rather proud of that, but that wasn't the problem. Making friends was easy.

Trusting them?

That was a whooooole other ballgame.

Even with the Diamonds, who had been nothing but sweet and kind to her when they took her home with them so long ago, she wondered every now and again if when they looked at her, they saw the second chance they never got to have with Pink.

But Xana was different. She had been a clean slate, and even if she had fucked up a couple of times with her, her human hadn't thrown her away. She stayed.

She stayed.

...Why?

What compelled her to stick by her side for so long?

Did she pity Spinel?

Hm. Maybe... She supposed it was hard not to, all things considered; but just pity couldn't justify two whole years, right? No, there had to be something else.

Maybe it was because their traumas were similar to a degree; birds of a feather and all that... But no, that didn't make much sense either.

Spinel soon had the thought that maybe Xana was waiting for Spinel to be the one to leave first so she wouldn't hurt her feelings, and shamefully thought about this a bit longer than she should have before dismissing that answer. She knew Xana, and Spinel felt guilty that she had thought so little of her for even a second. The human had an integrity that was extremely hard to find; she said what she meant and didn't beat around the bush, even if she knew how to sugarcoat and soften the blow of honesty's sting. She wasn't a liar.

She wasn't Pink.

So then... What could the reason be?

...

......Was it... Love?

Was that really what it was?

Did Xana...?

Was Spinel...?

"...I'm in love with my best friend, aren't I...?" She whispered to herself, a whole cocktail of emotions roiling around in her unseeing gaze at the ripples of water far below. "...Am I really going to let myself make that mistake again...?"

...

No.

This... This wasn't a mistake.

Xana couldn't be anything classified as a mistake.

This had occurred naturally, hadn't it? It wasn't something she felt obligated to feel. She hadn't forced this. She hadn't wished for this.

It just... Happened. At its own pace.

Like everything else had when it came to her relationship with Xana.

..............

Spinel took a deep breath before exhaling slowly, feeling something inside her tighten at this realization but also... Calm? As if she was relieved?? Just how long had she been denying herself that release?

This...

This was...

...Oof.

'I need ta talk ta her.'

Finally coming back to reality, Spinel sat up out of her recline with a purpose and blinked when she realized Xana was no longer where she saw her last. A small worry flared up behind her gem as her eyes flickered around for her friend's form, relief soon shooing it away upon seeing her form sitting near the ledge where they had first entered with only her feet submerged in the crystal clear water. She had her foot thong thingies close to her hip, eyes closed with a relaxed smile on her lips, and feet lightly kicking at the water. Her hands seemed to be massaging at her legs...

Concerned, the little comedian lurched to her pool's little lip and forcefully shook herself dry before springing over the basin and landing with a noisy squeak beside the human woman. "Heya sugarplum, is somethin' the mattah'?"

Xana stiffened, her eyes flying open with a startled gasp before whipping her head around to give Spinel an 'are you serious?!' kind of look. "Spinny! By the stars, you scared me..." She griped, a hand coming up to clutch at the space above her heart with a pout. "Didn't I tell ya to warn a gal before you do something like that? You know I don't do well with being scared."

The gem smiled apologetically, a guilty blush staining her face as her ponytails drooped at the deserved reprimand. "Sorry, toots... Didn't mean ta startle ya, promise. Jus' noticed you were rubbin' at your legs a lil' there, an' I got a bit worried." She replied, glancing down at said motion. She tried her hardest not to stare for too long. "S'wrong? C'n I help wit' anythin'?"

"Ohhh. Nah, it's alright. My legs just started getting tired because I was standing up for so long, so I sat down." The wild-haired woman shrugged, before smiling at the gem. "Thanks for caring though! That's sweet of you."

"'Course Dollface, s'my pleasure." Spinel chuckled softly, casting a shy look towards the water before looking up as Xana poked her in the arm to regain her attention.

"So, uh, hey, you said you wanted to do something else after this right? Don't get me wrong, I'm loving this place, but I wanna see everything you had planned before I get too tired." The tall woman reminded before lifting a hand to her mouth, managing to suppress a tiny yawn. "Human limitations and stuff, y'know?'

Oh, right. Crap. She forgot Xana needed that sleep stuff. "O-Oh yeah, right! Um. Hmmm. I didn't really 'ave anythin' else planned other than just wanderin' around and seein' the sights... I guess we could go to my room if you want to?" As soon as Spinel suggested the idea, she coughed a bit as she remembered a slightly important detail she had managed to forget and tried to backtrack. "There's, uh, not much ta see in there though..."

Ha, fat chance. It was clear Xana had latched onto the suggestion immediately, evidenced the excited and mischievous glint in her deep blue eyes.

"Hey now, you're not gonna get out of this THAT easy!" Xana cackled with glee, grinning over at the wily gem with a great amount of anticipation in her eyes. "Even if there's not much in there, you can tell a lot about a person by looking in their room! Besides, you practically ransacked mine the first time I invited you into it~."

She just haaaaad to bring that up, didn't she? Spinel's cheeks flushed red as she gave a pout, embarrassed. "Yer neva' gonna let that go, are ya?"

"I'll let it go when I'm six feet under." Xana snorted, pulling her legs out of the water and hauling herself up with a soft groan. She waggled her feet to flick off any remaining droplets clinging to her skin before putting on her flip-flops again with a raised brow pointed back down at her little pink friend as if to say 'Well? Whatcha waitin' for?'

Triumph flashed in her eyes as Spinel promptly threw her head far back with a loud groan. "Fiiiiiiiiine, whateva'!! But if yer gonna insist-" Making a quick bounce off the floor, the pink alien did a somersault in the air to land seated on the human's shoulders, much to her immense surprise.

"What in the name of-?!"

"There, that's bettah'!" With a loud cackle as Xana stumbled before catching her balance, she pointed off in the direction of the corridor opposite they had arrived from. "Onwards my noble steed!"

Barely managing to right herself, she puffed out her cheeks in a pout and glared up at the little magenta heathen, exasperation in her gaze. "I don't recall agreeing to be a taxi service!"

"It was in th' contract of demandin' to see my livin' space." Not that Spinel was complaining too much; only she and the Diamonds were allowed in her room and she knew the Diamonds currently weren't around. At the very least, it would give Spinel a private place to try and talk to her human.

"I didn't sign anything, I am not legally bound in the slightest." The woman huffed, yet still wrapped her arms carefully around the dangling legs on her shoulders to keep the slinky from falling off as she walked off in the direction indicated. "Fine, ya menace, but only because you're you."

Smirking smugly, she flopped her upper half against the back of Xana's head and giggling mischievously as she gave an annoyed grunt. "Good girl~. Jus' listen ta what I say, and yer gonna be juuuuus' fine."

The dark-skinned female knew, of course, that Spinel had meant that in a joking way but apparently her heart hadn't received the memo considering the stuttering it gave at the somewhat suggestive sounding statement. "Of course your majesty~." She cooed back in a snarky way to keep any possible attention away from her reddened face as they come upon a set of truly gigantic doorways. "Whatever Princess Spinel doth require, I am bound to comply~."

The gem snorted in reply, "Hey, I ain't a princess! The closest thing we have ta a princess is Steven. If anythin', M'a great an' brave knight!" She declared with an air of great self-importance.

"Hehe, I feel like if I tell Steven that, he'd get annoyed." Xana thought aloud with a snicker. "Do forgive me, my lady! Spinel the Just I shall refer to you then!" The two of them bantered back and forth as they left behind the fountain, both caring a newfound knowledge within their minds as they did.

And the waters trickled on sweetly.

[tvrningout-archived]

“plots please” ♥ || i'd like for Mitsuri to meet the babey hyouka, if you feel like it! cute sweet hardworking girls are good for the soul :>

@xstarlights | plots please | accepting!

     so i have a few ideas as far as meeting goes! hyouka started out as a kakushi, so it’s entirely possible that mitsuri could’ve met her before she decided to become a slayer; mitsuri could’ve met hyouka during a mission, or maybe through satsuki who is also a kakushi; i even have a cute image in my head of hyouka’s lil brother satoru happening upon mitsuri, befriending her, and eventually he drags the girls together to meet one another :’ ) i’ve also talked about hyouka being kyojuro’s tsuguko with @kunokata, so there’s always a chance for mitsuri to meet her that way, too!

     overall, tho!! i’d love for them to have a sibling-like relationship if that’s something you’d enjoy writing! mitsuri has a big family and has a bubbly personality, so i think she’d mesh well with hyouka who can be very loud and excitable and prefers to skip formalities to an extent. it would also be interesting to see how mitsuri might react to hyouka and satsuki’s relationship and what input she might have bc the two siblings tend to misunderstand each other, and it places strain on their relationship.

     hmmm maybe!! mitsuri could also play a mentor role for hyouka as far as giving her advice and guidance in developing her own breathing style? bc i’ve toyed with the idea of hyouka creating her own breathing style before since with flame breathing, she does tend to use her strength to compensate for her average speed and unpolished technique. but mitsuri could also be the one to finally get hyouka to take the time to perfect her forms -- either way, i think it’d be fun!! we love mentorships!!