#I'm actually legitimately sad about this

[kornwulf]

I bring sad news. The CBC has stopped broadcasting the National Research Council Official Time Signal. No more shall the beginning of the long dash indicate exactly 10 o'clock.

Goodnight sweet prince, you shall be missed by all of us who knew you

[james-stark-the-writer]

sometimes the way you people talk about Riverdale really makes me feel like you guys are anti-art lmao

[undeadhousewife]

Sometimes I'll mention there's an early Jackie Chan movie that has one of my favorite scenes, where he does a car derby battle against a group of nazis and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy.

[imminent-danger-came]

Nimoma has good emotional payoff and animation but nothing else to really write home about TBH

It's very SPOP in that way, where the arcs and scenes are solid when viewed outside of the media in gifset or clip form but don't work as well when actually watching what they're from

For sure! I think that's a problem she-ra and toh both share with Nimona—they struggle with setup but then go ham on the payoff, which leaves everything feeling somewhat unearned.

The end of the movie bugged me in particular—Ballister's 180 with calling Nimona a monster (something he KNOWS pushes her to the brink) after one conversation with his ex-boyfriend was...I think out of place?

Normally if you have a character make a wrong choice like that you, as the audience, would be questioning the whole movie if they had ever REALLY changed. Was Ballister's loyalty truly to Nimona or to the Institute/Goldenloin? But, by that point in the movie they had really sold me on Ballister's complete acceptance of Nimona and disregard of the institute, so....why would he turn on Nimona then? I'm surprised they didn't do this plot the other way, which would instead have only made it seem like Ballister betrayed Nimona, you know? Like they did in Tangled. That way you don't undo Ballister's movie long arc with one scene, but you can still have Nimona go berserk and make her way into the heart of the city.

There were also a couple of other things that felt kinda dropped by the end. Ballister being the first commoner to become a knight? The Queen's important role in this society? This kingdom's prejudice going SO deep that not even a child would give Nimona a chance after saving their life, yet blowing up the wall changed everyone's minds in the end?

There were a lot of good pieces, but they weren't quite put together in the right ways.

[purityvalentine]

Random late morning spiral about my aphantasia and it's impact on my ability to remember faces

[astrxealis]

damn i never thought i'd get into stardew valley this much but here we are !! makes perfect sense tho

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Been thinking about why the argument that OFMD is inherently a bad show because it's based on historical slaveowners so often feels disingenuous to me as a person of color.

HUGE disclaimer up front: if you don't wanna fuck with the show because of that premise right out the gate, that's 100% valid and I completely get that. I'm not talking about that. What I'm specifically talking about is White fandom people in particular who argue that OFMD must be "problematic" because of this, especially when they say this as some kind of virtue-signalling trying to win points in fandom wars, stuff like that.

My big thing is that the resemblance the characters in OFMD have to their real-world namesakes begins and ends with having the same name. The show feels more to me like it's playing with the vague myths around these names, not the people themselves. Can you make an argument that they should have come up with original characters instead? Sure, but let's be honest, even people who study the irl counterparts have very little knowledge of their actual lives, and the average person has all but none. To add to that, this show has absolutely zero interest in historical accuracy; the moment they cast a Jewish-Polynesian man as Blackbeard that became obvious. No one is saying the real-life Blackbeard and Stede Bonnet were good people, least of all the show itself; the point is that OFMD's versions are basically original characters already.

It always feels like an incredibly disingenuous claim to parallel the show to Hamilton, because Hamilton both did care about historical accuracy and also brought up the slave trade. Hamilton is uncomfortable for so many poc because it writes poc into the story of otherwise very faithfully portrayed racists, colonizers, and slaveowners and just handwaves the racism. In OFMD, racism exists, but the stance is always explicitly anti-racist and anti-colonialist in a way that is just so fun to see (whom among us has not wished to skin a racist with a snail fork?).

The other thing that sticks for me is...there's an appropriate amount of slavery I want to see in my romcoms, and that amount is none. I am so sick of historical fiction where Black characters are only there for trauma porn about the horrors of the slave trade. You can make a legitimate argument that OFMD is handwavey about the slave trade, but I'd argue that including discussion of the slave trade is something that should be done with such incredible care that it would leave us with a show that can't really be a comedy at all anymore. OFMD's characters of color are allowed to be nuanced, complex characters with their own emotions, and it's incredibly refreshing to see, and I'd much rather have that than yet another historical fiction show where the only characters of color are only there to make White audiences feel virtuous about how sad they feel for them.

In conclusion, I guess: every yt person who makes this argument to win points in a fandom war owes me and every other fan of color a million dollars

[sunny-daysss]

I was curious so I searched up ‘Gorillaz’ in the server with my friends and I didn’t realise how many of them had put Gorillaz songs into the music bot akjsdhaksdh

BUT, I also found out that my ex-friend (I might’ve talked about them here before, I was super upset when we had a big falling out) requested Slow Country at some point which meant he was DEFINITELY a huge Gorillaz fan and it makes me sad because I could’ve shared my obsession/excitement over the band with him :/

[just-j-really]

One of these days I'm going to write a 5+1 "Hob's students gossiping about him" fic, where they notice a bunch of "he's immortal" weirdness he has going on, and interpret it completely incorrectly. Like the list of "Dr. Gadling's Possible Deal" Goes:

Escaped victim of a cult (he's got no family to speak of; he's implied several times that he didn't receive any formal schooling until he was well into adulthood; he misses a lot of the Obvious Childhood References someone his age should get and once said they didn't have TV when he was a kid even though he can't be older than 40)

Former hitman in witness protection (the missing family thing again; he's deeply cagey about his past when asked directly but will offhandedly make some deeply concerning remarks; and anyone who's seen him legitimately angry will tell you that he's scary. Yes, that Gadling. I wouldn't have believed it either.)

Guy pulling a scam like in Catch Me if You Can (nobody can make the timeline of 'he's got a PhD' line up with the seventeen other careers he's alluded to having, including what sounds like a pretty long stint in the military, so clearly he's been scamming his way into interesting careers since he was a teenager and then running when it looks like he'll get caught)

The human version of a failed service dog (started as someone jokingly suggesting that he was supposed to be some sort of fantasy Chosen One but refused the call, and that's why he's got all this esoteric knowledge about the past/knows how to swordfight/treats the idea of Actual Magic, if it's brought up, with this air of 'yeah shit happens sometimes'- but he treats everyday things such as 'microwaves' and 'ibuprofen' like legitimate miracles. Then a bunch of people went "Yeah, 'He was Kidnapped by the Fae for Unknowable Purposes' makes as much sense as anything else on this list" and it stuck.)

Ghost ("That's why he hangs around the New Inn looking sad all the time!!! He's a ghost caught in a loop!!! It makes perfect sense!!!")

The +1 is, obviously, someone asks him directly what his deal is and he says "Oh, I'm immortal" and not one person believes him.

There are two options for how Dream fits into this fic. One is that the Professor Gadling's Deal debate is rocked to the core by the appearance of a man in all black who is, depending on who you ask: another former cult victim he's finally been reunited with; someone from his old life trying to drag him back and/or assassinate him; a detective investigating his crimes; or the fae who did the kidnapping. The 'ghost' theory is shaken too badly by the man's appearance to hold up, since suddenly Gadling isn't sitting in the New Inn being sad all the time, he's sitting in the New Inn all the time flirting with... whoever that guy is.

The other option is that the fic is told from the POV of one of Gadling's students, explaining the Professor Gadling's Deal debate to the new kid.

She does not understand why this Murphy guy started laughing so hard midway through her explanation.

[thelikesofus]

Buddie Fic Recs

This is my 5th Buddie Rec List! I started compiling this list last April and omg looking back through them now I desperately need to reread them all. Highly recommend all of these fics, also please show the authors some love in their comments xx Happy Easter lovelies <3 REMINDER TO CHECK THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS

where our eyes are never closing by @rewritetheending | T | 6k

After the lightning strike, Buck asks Eddie to take candid photos of him to help prove to Buck that he still exists. Absolute PEAK Softness. Buck through Eddie's eyes! I was a mushy puddle by the end. 10/10 would recommend. 

i got all my sisters with me by @useramor | T | 6k

Established relationship Buddie. Eddie’s sister has a baby and they travel down to Texas to meet the baby. DIAZ SIBLINGS UNITE! Seriously though the sibling dynamic in this is off the charts and Buck and Eddie are sickeningly in love, it is quite beautiful.

meet me where the tide comes in by @iinryer | G | 4k

A 3+1 fic about Eddie getting kissed on the head. FOREHEAD KISSES PTSD MORE HEAD KISSES AND BOYS IN LOVE!! Need I say anything more??

The one where Buck gets turned into a dog by @911onabc | G | 9k

Law Suit era BUT WAIT WAIT….DOG BUCK!! I am a sucker for fic where one of them gets turned into an animal. They are much more free with their affection when they think it's just a dog, or just a cat, and the bond between Eddie and "Boy" is so so wonderful. And I do love a happy ending xx

can't do this anymore (do it anyway) by @chronicowboy | T | 2k

Short and sweet but GOD this packs a punch. Eddie starts dating after the lightning strike and Buck is feeling Big Bad about it. He is so sad it truly breaks my heart but all works itself out in the end and Eddie proves Buck’s fears wrong.

We Found Each Other (Over There)  by @thekristen999 | T | 46k

Buddie WWII AU. A combat medic and a G.I. meet during one of the world’s greatest battles. This fic is a legitimate masterpiece. I cannot describe to you the quality of this fic because it is beyond words but I will tell you I stayed up until 3:30 am to finish it in one sitting and was left broken but made so so whole again. 

the mortifying ordeal of being known by @the-amber-raven | G | 60k

AU where Bobby is Buck’s adoptive Dad and Eddie is dating Buck but Eddie and Bobby think they are talking about two different people. Buck is training at the fire academy but hiding it from Bobby. This fic is the most beautiful tangle of miscommunication, love and family. 

like all good things are by @try-set-me-on-fire | T | 7k

Perfect, amazing, soul-destroying, magical, healing Fic. This literally covers all the bases. Chim and Bobby both get injured. OH! and Buck and Eddie were secretly dating all along. READ THIS FIC PEEPS!

find a way to you (if it kills me) by @eddiediazes  | M | 19k

The one where Eddie decides to start dating again, Buck figures out his own feelings just a minute too late, and then he spends a week going through the five stages of grief. BUCK PINING LV.10000000!

and i’d choose you (in a hundred lifetimes) by @monsterrae1 | E | 16k

Amnesia Exes fic by the wonderful Rae. Buck and Eddie fall in love via a penpal program and then Buck vanishes. This fic is set four years later. I literally could not put it down. I was reading it in class and then sat in my car for who knows how long just to finish it because I could not continue my day without knowing how it ended.

he never thinks of me (except when i'm on TV) by @loserdiaz | M | 18k 

APRIL'S FAMOUS!BUCK AND ARMY!EDDIE FIC!! In which Eddie finds out years later that his unrequited feelings for his high school best friend were not actually unrequited, Buck is stupidly famous now and they pine. OH THEY PINNNEEEEE! It’s delicious. 

every time we stop talking (the universe starts screaming) by @chronicowboy | M | 21k 

Alternative S7, Buddie Divorce Era Pt.2. Buck does something reckless and Eddie gets angry about it but these boys cannot communicate effectively to save their lives! This fic is peak angst to a happy ending and I felt like I had a hole in my chest OMG.

left your mark on this heart by @chronicowboy | G | 5k

Buck gets medically diagnosed with butterflies and the doctor makes him write in a notebook every time it happens. Surprise, surprise, the cause and effect is Eddie-related. The notebook entries kill me in the best way, the happiest happy ending

ALSO, YES THIS IS THE THIRD FIC BY THE SAME AUTHOR ON THIS LIST WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT?? READ IT IS WHAT! COS THEY'RE SO DAMN GOOD. 

endless numbered days by @cal-daisies-and-briars | G | 13k 

Buck and Eddie's wedding but from Bobby's POV as Bobby reflects on the family he lost and the one he gained. Absolutely beautiful, I cried.

don’t wanna let you love somebody else but me by @shitouttabuck | T | 14k

Chris wants dating advice so obviously Buck and Eddie decide to Fake Date for research purposes. This fic is PEAK adorable, sappy, and awkward Buddie. They’re idiots but we love them and the certainly love each other. READ THIS FIC! 

[ms-demeanor]

Atheist condolence card like "sucks that your grandpa no longer exists and you'll never see him again, oh well"

I mean, I'm looking for a condolence card for a Jewish family (found a pretty good one, will be adding a note about a shared memory of the deceased and hopes for the mourners that their memory may be a blessing).

But also I have no idea why people find the concept of an afterlife comforting. Legitimately, that is unappealing to me and the idea that I would be artificially separated from the people that I love and reintroduced to them after a period of separation if there was no need for that time of mourning and loss seems. Bullshit? It seems like bullshit? Capricious and cruel at best?

Anyway when my grandpa died we got a phone call when they tossed is ashes into the ocean and we never saw him again! Being reminded that we wouldn't see him in an afterlife wasn't the sad part, the sad part was knowing that we wouldn't know him anymore, that we'd be on one side of a growing divide, that there was a before and an after and we had left him behind while we had to move forward. It wouldn't have been comforting to think "well perhaps someday when I have lived my life without him, I will see him again in a place where nothing from this life (all the things that I have done, all the things that he taught me) will matter because they were worldly and unimportant."

What was comforting at that time, and after the very many family deaths that I have experienced (and I've experienced a lot! I've been comfortable with the idea that I'll never see my loved ones again when they're gone since I was a very small child!), and what I suspect is comforting even for religious people who have experienced a loss is to be reminded of the people who are still on the same side of that dividing line, who we can still love and adore and support and make memories with.

Anyway. I'm an atheist at least partially because of my grandfather, who was a magician and a skeptic and took great joy in skewering the supernatural. It would be an insult to his memory to think that he was an angel lighting up a star in heaven or whatever the christian condolence cards say.

My grandpa did a sexy comedy magical immolation of my grandmother in front of crowds; there was a devil on the flier.

(grandma's the one on the right)

Pictured: Not someone who had much reverence for death or much patience for the supernatural:

(Funny story, when my dad came to visit this week he saw a 2-post 52U server rack on the driveway from a distance and asked me "where did you guys get the guillotine? Did I leave that here?")

But my family is probably *unusually* atheist and irreverent.

For atheists in general I don't know why people think that it's more upsetting to acknowledge the truth (that once people are dead you won't see them anymore) than to be told "comforting" lies (that you will see dead people again at some mystical place that you have no access to or proof of).

I *hate* hearing "they're in a better place" when I'm mourning someone I loved because that's something that's comforting for a religious person to say but dismisses both the way that I mourn and (frequently in my family) the beliefs of the deceased. They are not in a better place, they are *gone* and I don't want to imagine that they're somewhere waiting for me to join them again, I want to remember them for who they were and accept that they aren't in my life anymore.

"They're in heaven now" "they're with the angels now" "they're with their maker" - none of those things are true and they reflect an extremely limited worldview that I don't share and find pretty insipid actually! Thank you for trying to comfort me you are doing a poor job of it I'm going to go hang out and talk to someone who actually knew them and we'll share stories of what an asshole they were and what kind of crazy nonsense they got up to and what a big, important part of our lives they were and we'll start trying to make sense of how to fill the hole left behind with something practical and joyful and fun and honest that they would have loved instead of cardboard angel wings.

[ink-n-shadow]

Omg I am so head over heels for your bodyguard!simon AU ;w;

Nah because with my sensitive ass the “M’ not touching you again” would instantly make me sad like SO fast :’3

so, how would he react if she got all pouty because he said that? Because in all actuality she definitely wants him to touch her more often, yknow? Like it ain’t even gotta be sexual…probably-

🍋-

i like the way you think, anon🍋 >:) this one's not sexual (unfortunately) BUT it is cute and a bit angsty so enjoy

[ CRYBABY ] 𝜗𝜚 the one where you're drunk and bodyguard!ghost has to comfort you

𝜗𝜚 pairing: bodyguard!Simon "Ghost" Riley x rockstar!reader (link to all works in this au) 𝜗𝜚 cw: mean!ghost at first, then soft!ghost, crying for something small, drunk!reader

"what did i say when you were on vacation last month, hmm?" ghost grumbled as he lead you through the lobby of your apartment building, keeping a grip on your upper arm. "m'not. fucking. touching you like that."

you had gone out with the rest of your bandmates, having a few drinks (way more than you needed) to celebrate the upcoming release of your first album. you weren't completely wasted, but you were damn close—your face flushed, steps a bit wobbly, eyes bleary.

ghost kept as much distance between you two as he could, but he knew he had to help you walk. so he gripped your upper arm to steady your steps, walking slow enough to help you keep pace with him. he glared down at you, but when he noticed the pout on your face and the tears beginning to form in your eyes, his eyes softened.

it wasn't the usual bratty pout you'd use—no, this one appeared legitimately sad.

"y-you're so mean, ghost. i just—" your sentence paused in the middle as a hiccuped sob shook your chest, your free hand coming up to wipe at the tears and smearing some mascara down your cheek. "i just wanna hold your hand. but y-you don't like me. why don't you like me?"

ghost let out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head a bit as he approached the elevator and pushed the call button. he moved to stand in front of you, his grip on your arm falling away. "dove, c'mon—you're ruinin' that pretty makeup on y'face." he thumbed at the mascara on your cheek, frowning under his mask as the black only smeared more.

you tried to push his hand away, but the amount of alcohol in your veins made your movements slow and uncoordinated. "i don't care, ghost. just like you don't care about me."

"god—would you stop that?" ghost grumbled out in frustration as he ran a hand over his mask, trying to regain his composure before looking back down at your teary face. he lifted a hand up to grip your chin, forcing your eyes on him. "i obviously fuckin' like you. i wouldn't be walkin' you home from the bloody club if i didn't, 'kay? you're just drunk right now—and you get a bit emotional when you're drunk."

you sniffled up the tears lodged in the back of your throat as your unsteady eyes met ghost's, skin warming at the way his gloved fingers trapped your chin in his grip. "t-then why won't you just hold my hand? i-it's not like i'm asking you to kiss me or date me or somethin'. it'll make me feel better."

ghost let out a scoffed breath as he turned away from you, shaking his head and grumbling something under his breath before you felt his leather-covered fingers lace with yours. the elevator dinged and pulled open with a hiss, and ghost gently tugged you inside with a squeeze to your hand. "there—happy now? gonna stop being a little crybaby about it?"

as soon as you felt ghost's hand in yours, a drunken smile smeared across your lips, warmth coating your skin as you stumbled into the elevator behind him. "you have big hands."

"jesus." ghost muttered with a shake of his hand, using his free hand to punch the button for your floor and watching the elevator doors close in front of you two. "don't get used to this, 'kay? m'only doing this because you're bloody cryin' over it."

[temis-de-leon]

Solomon x Insecure fem!S/O

Characters: Solomon x fem!MC

Main Masterlist

Requested by @kirshimadenkisero: hello! may i please request solomon with a fem! s/o who’s very self conscious about her appearance, such as her slight belly fat, the stretch marks on her inner thighs, her acne, etc? i’ve been struggling with my appearance lately and solomon is my go-to comfort character, so this would really help. thank you! drink water!

A/N: I didn't go much into detail with the self-deprecating thoughts or the body descriptions, but they're still there, at plain sight. I hope you like it and I deeply hope it makes you feel at least a little bit better. To Romance Anon and M. Anon, don't worry, I'm writing your requests too :)

CW: the mental struggles of being chubby and the physical struggles of being chubby in summer. Comparing your body with someone else's isn't good. Also, the sadness of being immortal

.

“Aren’t you hot?”

MC blinked at the question, moistening her eyes after several minutes of staring at the screen before turning to the side, but her body had slouched so far down the couch that she had to look up to talk to Solomon.

Her favourite fellow human had a mixture of emotions on his face: fondness, worry and surprise. His arms were completely spread out over the backrest, initially to offer her a place to rest and later to make more space for him to sweat. The air was sticky with warmth, blinds closed down to give them the full cinema experience and not a window open to keep the mosquitoes out.

To her greatest pleasure, Solomon had accepted defeat by the time the second movie started and took his shirt off. MC, on the other hand, although dying to do the same, was still wearing an oversized t-shirt and some ugly, worn down, capris pants. Every piece of fabric stuck to her skin like a punishment and beads of sweat travelled along the curves of her body to stain her clothes.

It wasn’t pretty and it wasn’t comfortable, but she didn’t want to change. They had a dinner party the night before and MC had the atrocious idea of wearing a long summer dress. When they finally got home, her inner thighs were red and hurting and the embarrassment had persisted for the next day and the entirety of their movie marathon.

So, not wanting to make him feel bad for her own insecurities while they were having a good time, MC chuckled and faked an excessive sultry look.

“Is that an actual question or a compliment?”

MC felt like her body was seconds away from exploding, breaking skin and searching for fresh air. The cooling spell he’d casted earlier must’ve slowly worn off while they were immersed in the beginning of the trilogy.

“I would say you’re hot, yes, but it was a legitimate question” he softly laughed. “Why don’t you take your pants off? Else, you’re going to get sick”

“I’m going to get sick from being too hot?”

A flick of impatience crossed his face, but he quickly erased it by laughing again.

“Well, I hope not. Otherwise you’d be bedridden”

His flattery made her genuinely smile and she noticed her face warming up from something significantly different than the high temperature in the room.

“You spend too much time with Asmodeus”

“Look who’s talking”

Solomon kept his mouth open and MC stared in apprehension, keeping a few uncomfortable seconds between them until he finally shook his head and turned to continue watching the movie. She tried to mask her relief, doing the same, but she could tell that he wasn’t as engrossed anymore.

Minutes passed, almost half an hour, until Solomon finally cooled down the room again with a wave of his hand. Her body eased and she almost broke with a satisfied groan, letting herself fall against his body and momentarily forgetting about her previous discomfort.

The darkness of the screen and the haunting chanting of a woman dragged her to unconsciousness, but she forced her eyes open, paying excessive attention to the plot. It was a sad scene, one of the saddest by far, and it wasn’t too long before Solomon’s hand creeped behind her back and grabbed her shoulder. At first she was confused and then, making her heart stop for just a second, she recognized what had suddenly worried her boyfriend.

“Do you think that’s how she felt?” she asked, trying not to see their relationship portrayed in the movie. “Lilith, I mean”

Solomon hummed, not letting her go, and slowly, but surely, started to nod. There was a hint of sadness in his eyes and she immediately wished things were different.

“Most probably, yes” he stayed silent for a few seconds, staring at Arwen crying on her father’s shoulder with great despair. Then, he said what MC desperately wanted to avoid hearing “That’s how I feel too”

A familiar sting closed her throat. The consequences of dating an immortal man, she supposed.

“I imagine going to your burial more often that I would like” he continued saying in a hushed, dark tone. “But I don’t think I would be able to leave after”

“What? You’ve never told me this!”  

“Well, it’s not the happiest of conversations”

“Don’t be like that” MC pleaded, sitting straight to look at him directly. “We don’t even know if that’s how it’s going to go. Maybe I'll turn immortal too”

He let out a humourless chuckle, pulling her close until she was sitting on his lap before pausing the movie. A heavy silence settled and MC became painfully aware of everything. It wasn’t the first time they had been so close to each other, but she didn’t feel happy about it this time, her body glued to his in such a way that the possibility of him not feeling every inch of her was almost non-existent.

The fateful end of their relationship, the depreciating thoughts about herself and the immense love he was looking at her with made her feel nauseous.

“Do you really think that?”

“If life has taught me something, is that anything can happen” she shrugged, brushing his hair before kissing his forehead. “Who knows? Maybe we’re not Aragorn and Arwen. Maybe we’re Gandalf and Galadriel and we’ll stay together until you grow a beard and I become pretty”

“You’re extremely beautiful”

Solomon looked like she offended him, which made her laugh, but she didn’t feel like she was lying. With fair smooth skin, long silken hair and a body resembling a dream, it was impossible to look at the elf and not feel disappointment.

“And I’m not like Gandalf”

“What do you mean? He’s a wizard and he’s an old man”

“Do not call me an old man” he begged with a heartbroken face, but she only laughed harder.

He smiled at her giddy expression, putting her hair behind her ear before making her head rest on his chest. MC thought he would play the movie again, but he didn’t move.

“Aren’t Gandalf and Galadriel just friends, anyway? I don’t want to be just friends with you, MC”

“He’s in love with her, though”

“Is he?”

“Are you serious? Look at her!”

“I don’t want to look at her, I want to look at you!” he laughed, sneaking his hand under her shirt and caressing her back. She thought of rejecting his touch, but with the way he was keeping her so close, that would’ve been a stupid decision. At the same time, his words made her heart beat ridiculously faster. “I don’t want to be Aragorn and date Arwen and I don’t want to be Gandalf and be in love with Galadriel. I want to be me, being in love with you and dating you. And no one is going to take that away from me, not even you”

Her throat closed again and her vision became blurry. How could she even answer that?

“Your tastes are messed up” she finally said in a wobbly voice.

“Your perception is messed up” he refuted, pushing her away to dry the tears and kiss the corner of her eyes, then her cheeks, the tip of her nose and, finally, her lips. “Let’s turn off the movie, I have something much better to look at tonight”

.

.

[raconteur-wanpi]

OK, but really, I'm genuinely so sad this fandom doesn't talk enough about Vinsmoke Reiju. She's legitimately one of my absolute favorite characters in the entire story and a lot of people don't see how absolutely tragic she is.

Just. She had to stay behind. She had to stay behind so Sanji can be free, she could never join him. She can only live her dreams of escaping her horrible, horrible family vicariously through him, the only person left in that household she loved. And she had to let him go. Because if she left, an army would follow behind her to get her back; she's a "success" after all. And also because she had already deemed herself a monster. After Sora died, Sanji was all Reiju had left. And then she was alone. Stuck with them for 13 years. Stuck with the wolves. The only way to survive being to mould herself after them.

From the beginning, it was never slip up, never make a mistake, always be perfect or you're next. Pretend to laugh at the misery of the only person in your family you haven't lost hope in, knowing that he might hate you forever after this, feeling like a coward. But you're a child. A mere child, a little 10-year-old girl, and you're scared. And she already saw herself as unworthy of that freedom at that age. She's not like Sanji, she was born to play the role of a monster. Even with her intact emotions, she's still trained soldier. She has the symbol of Germa tattooed on her, how could she ever escape it? She has blood on her hands; not because of her own choices, but because of the commands she's physically incapable of disobeying. She looks at him and tells him he looks so much like their mother, but she denies to accept that so does she.

She's the firstborn, dad's perfect little girl, his first success, his obedient property. The man who she grew to hate so much, when she found out he was going to be assassinated, she didn't warn him, because she hoped it would actually happen. Even if it meant throwing her own life away as well. When she saw him beg for his life she just, rightfully, felt no guilt or remorse. Just anger and satisfaction, even as she herself was about to die, something that seemed she wanted happen. But when he got attacked later on, she showed concern, because unlike Sanji, to her he still is, dad. He's dad, who held you and called you his wonderful child. He's dad, who raised you and showed pride in you. He's dad, who potentially put some sort of authority chip in your brain and forced you to stain your hands in blood. He's the man who killed your mother. She hates him. She wants him dead. She can't stop seeing him as family, and shows concern when he's hurt. It's more complex than how her brother sees him, and it's visceral and real and upsetting.

She had to stay behind. And after all of that, she had to relive the goodbye to the only person left in her family whom she ever loved. God. I hope she gets to see Sanji again. I hope she escapes. I hope one day she finally gets to taste his cooking. She never got the chance to do that, didn't she?

[gffa]

Over the last week, I decided to go ahead with bookmarking all the fics I've recommended over the years on AO3 since I abide by tumblr poll results always (and man pour one out for all the fic that never made it to AO3 or has since been deleted, sooooo many gems lost to time!) and it was a bit more than the ~3,000 I was expecting:

Hopefully, this will be easier than browsing the hundreds of recs posts I've made, since you can filter for any of the author's tags now! These are mostly focused on Star Wars and DC fandom, but I did my time in the anime mines and occasional tours through some TV fandoms or movies. You can dig into everything unfiltered and start your own filtering, or the bigger fandoms you'll find:

MAJOR FANDOMS: Each of these should have 100+ at minimum and, in the case of Star Wars, literally almost half of them are in that fandom. Look, Star Wars fandom might be a trash fire in a lot of ways, but it is ON FIRE with some good fic. (Older bookmarks not guaranteed to match my current sentiments, especially re: the Jedi, but they did catch my fancy at that point in time!)

STAR WARS: - All Star Wars -OR- All Star Wars minus the Obi-Wan/Anakin ship - OR- Nothing BUT Obi-Wan/Anakin

BATMAN/DC: - DC can sometimes be tricky, but you can do a Batman* search and get most of them (though, sometimes Nightwing* or Young Justice* or Superman* will catch some of the others). Honestly, though, you might want to just do a search for what character or dynamic you like and have fun from there, because otherwise you're getting a face full of my Dick Grayson Is The Center Of The Universe And I'm Making That Everyone Else's Problem agenda. ;)

MARVEL/MCU: - Marvel* will probably get most of the various properties, though you may want to filter for Defenders* or Guardians of the Galaxy* if you're interested -OR- Marvel* without the Thor/Loki - These focus a lot on the Thor* fandom if you want to witness the results of like 8 years of constant voracious reading in that fandom (Minus the ship), because, seriously, I read a LOT of Odinson family fic. - Bonus, just do a search for Maximoff* to find some really good X-Men: First Class-verse because, listen, I have been ALL ABOUT the Maximoff twins since long before the movies or MCU brought them over and I will DIE ON THE HILL of "Marvel, make Magneto their bio-dad again or I'm never reading another comic of yours ever".

TOLKIEN/LORD OF THE RINGS/SILMARILLION/HOBBIT: - Tolkien* -OR- Hobbit* -OR- Lord of the Rings* searches will turn up most of my Elf-hunting, I primarily focus on the Sindar Elves, but look I can't resist my problematic Feanorian faves or that I will die on the hill that Fingolfin is the best ever. (You have NO IDEA how sad I am that so much fic on Stories of Arda or FFNET is not easily bookmarked on AO3, sob. I externally bookmarked a few of the bigger ones, but sooo many shorter faves are missing from my recs tag.)

CLAMP: - X/Tokyo Babylon legitimately bums me out because it's not a huge fandom and yet so much of what was written was pre-AO3 and lost when CLAMPesque went down or was never brought over from Livejournal, yet this fandom (well, the Seishirou/Subaru pairing) still burns brightly in my heart.

MINOR FANDOMS: Ones that probably only have under 100 bookmarks (often around the 20-30 bookmarks range), but will at least give you a place to start! ANIME/MANGA: Bleach | Cardcaptor Sakura | Dragonball | Finder no Hyouteki/Viewfinder | Katekyou Hitman Reborn! | Kuroko no Basuke | One Piece | Sailor Moon | Madoka Magica | Naruto | Princess Tutu | Trigun | Weiss Kreuz | Yuri!!! on Ice

BOOKS: Chrestomanci | Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint

DRAMAS: Nirvana in Fire | The Untamed -OR- Modao Zu Shi

TV SHOWS/MOVIES: Community | Game of Thrones -OR- ASOIAF | Good Omens | Hannibal | Highlander | The Old Guard | Our Flag Means Death | Stranger Things

VIDEO GAMES: Dragon Age: Inquisition | Final Fantasy 8 | Genshin Impact | Okami

BANDS: Arashi

All right, whew, that was actually a fun project, despite how much work it was to hunt down a lot of older faves to see if they were on AO3, hopefully you'll find this useful!

[itsajollyjester]

yessss that defo answers my questions! ur thoughts on compassion & community intertwined w rebellion definitely show up in ur art lol. something more specific i have been curious abt is ur version of the endings of each specific hunger games & ur characterization/portrayal of the victors at those points! if u have any more thoughts abt any of those characters or their games id love to hear.... im also very not neurotypical abt hunger games

For sure!! But this is a novel and a half so I apologize in advance (also most of this is from memory so anyone can correct me if I'm getting any details wrong)

((TW: For visual depictions of Blood, Gore, and Wounds))

I realized I'd seen barely any art showing what the victors would have looked like when they won their games. They were all just kids and I feel like it can be easy to forget that sometimes

For all of them, I made the background one of their main "weapons" but tried to make it look like its turning back on them instead since there are no victors as Haymitch said.

I'll try to explain them all more in depth individually going in the order I drew them:

Finnick Odair, 65th Games:

His main weapons were his trident and nets that he made with vines. His background is one of the nets ready to trap him.

Finnick was the youngest victor ever at only 14. I really really wanted to emphasize just how little that is. (Especially since we know exactly why the Capitol loved him from the start…) Once I actually drew him looking that little I had to step away for a bit because I made myself too sad…

Outside of just how horrific his age is as a concept, I tried to think about what circumstances would lead to him actually winning when surrounded by older tributes. I think he would have had to avoid any kind of fight he didn't have the upper hand in. We know that he got the most expensive sponsor gifts in the history of the games (a trident), so he probably got plenty of sponsors outside of that as well. Because of that I doubt he needed to go looking for supplies much if ever so it was easy to avoid people there. He was also probably in a career pack, despite his age, due to his training and his popularity, and they would have hunted other tributes down together much like the one we saw in the first book (safer in numbers). Once it was narrowing down and the pack broke is when I think he started catching people in nets. All of that is a long winded way of saying that's why, unlike the other victors I drew, I only show him with minor cuts and bruises.

Originally I was going to draw him with a kind of strained smile like he was acting for an audience from the start. But I decided I actually think its sadder if he believed he was popular because of his skill and strategy as a fighter and only learned the whole truth after he won and that's when he started acting more for the camera. Instead I gave him a more muted despair kind of look, like his world is crashing down. One of my favorite parts about the movies, mainly THG and ABOSAS, is when they give the career tributes at the end a moment of realization about what they've done, and I wanted to give Finnick his. I'm a person that believes Finnick had to have volunteered for his games. I think he would have legitimately believed in the propaganda the career districts were fed and had a bit of a (very middle school boy) ego about his abilities. (I was NOT expecting to write so much about his lmao)

Enobaria, 62nd Games

She's most well known for ripping someones throat out with her teeth. (Her background is her sharpened teeth getting ready to eat her.) This is treated by The Capitol, and by Katniss, as grotesque and terrifying blood lust (Which obviously the Capitol loves her for). However, and I'm not at all the first to say it, that sounds more like a terrified and desperate attempt to survive a fight she was losing and an example of hysterical strength. We know that Career packs have had bloody betrayals in the past and I can see Enobaria being a part of one of them. Enobaria doesn't have a canonical age, but I decided to put her on the younger side (15 or 16.) I can imagine some of the older, bigger tributes deciding she was the weakest link towards the end and that was the result. I tried to make the blood around her mouth and down her shirt look more faded, like she tried desperately to wipe it off (Also I had to step away from drawing again after I drew her little tooth gap)

I think she probably leaned into the bloodthirsty image afterwards as a way to protect herself and (maybe even started to believe it too)

Annie Cresta, 70th Games

Annie's known for losing her mind after seeing her district partner decapitated in front of her. After that, she ran off and hid until the game makers started an earth quake, which made the large dam in the arena break and cause a huge flood. Annie was the only survivor because she was the strongest swimmer. So I decided to make her background dark water that's churning up and over her head. I also think it can work well as a way to show her mental state in the moment (and afterwards) Annie is actually one of my favorite characters in the series and I've been writing out a plan for a possible comic series about her that'll go more in depth about my headcanons for her. (when I say comic series, I mean sketches and oneshots, not a full thing lmao) It wouldn't take place during her games (outside of a few flashbacks when I need more context), instead it would start at her Victory Tour and go into her first (and last) year as a mentor for the 71st Games. Which is a perfect segue to-

Johanna Mason, 71st Games

Johanna is actually first mentioned early on in the first book when Katniss is wondering if the reason Peeta is crying is because he plans to act weak and helpless as a strategy in the games. (Katniss, he just found out he has to fight in a murder tournament with his crush. He's just Sad.) She bases her theory on Johanna, who pretended she was a "sniveling, cowardly fool" in the arena until the final stretch of the games when she proved to be deadly with an axe.

OR….. Katniss is an unreliable narrator and Johanna was actually a terrified kid from a district with so few victors that she was the only name in the bowl for the Quarter Quell… This is totally just a personal headcanon of mine tho lol. I think there would have been a point in her games where she realized she actually had a chance and that's when she seemingly had a huge character turn around. Maybe there was a infighting with the careers that ended in multiple deaths and there was only a few left along with any other tributes hiding away like her. Maybe she poked around what was left of their camp, found the axe, and felt strength from her district.

Her background was a little harder for me. Just slapping a big axe behind her felt cheesy. But them I remembered her saying there was no one left that she loved. So instead I put trees that could represent her loved ones (Two fully grown trees, a younger "teenage" tree, and a sapling) that are in the process of being cut down.

Haymitch Abernathy, 50th Games

Don't worry, I'm almost done. I don't have as much to say about Haymitch since we know SO much about what happened in his games. But his background was probably the hardest for me. His main weapon was invisible after all. I thought maybe the axe that was used, but again, That would look cheesy. I tried (and kinda failed imo) to draw the cliff side the force field was on instead. But the main thing I did was split the three panels I had on the previous drawings into six for two reasons. 1: Because he had to face twice as many tributes in order to win and 2: Being the only victor of a district that's tributes are seen as fodder for the blood bath means he had to meet and watch the death of twice as many kids every year.