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#I'm already excited and proud to share the outcomes
readyfreddy · 2 years
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just sending as anon cause i like to be mysterious, but i know the positive feedback hopefully outweighs the negative on your survey - but please take time for yourself as well, i can only imagine how awful some of the negative things are/how negative the slurs are and i don’t want you to get beat down from it :(
but also im so happy to hear you’re getting the feedback you need and i really hope it helps
Thanks anon, I really appreciate your kind words.
The vast majority of the comments are so positive, and bring tears to my eyes. A lot of them are along the lines of "I'm so happy that you're taking initiative of this,""I wish you the best of luck," "I hope your team's pride night goes awesome" and "I wish that pride/inclusion nights existed when I was younger." They are so encouraging, especially from people saying that pride nights help them feel safer and represented.
I hope that my work will help other people and teams in the future. Furthermore, I am hoping that my team actually listens and puts my efforts into consideration when planning special event nights for next season. Even if they don't, they will know that this is an issue that people genuinely care about.
The rest of the comments are what you would expect, proving exactly why pride nights and education are still crucial and needed.
I think a harder part of this project is that I'm not officially "out" to a lot of my family, so I can't discuss it with them, even though I'm super excited and proud of what I'm doing. I don't think that they're homophobic, it's not really anything we've really discussed. I'm sure that they know at this point.
The fact that most of the comments are positive is really encouraging, and surprising, as I was expecting for the comments to be overwhelmingly negative and hurtful.
Also I'm obsessively checking the results, which doesn't help. NGL, I'm also using this project to avoid completing an assignment that's due in roughly 48 hours.
I have received nearly 250 responses in under 24 hours, and maybe 5% have been outright horrible.
The survey will be open for roughly another month, so I have a feeling that I will receive more negative comments.
I may not be changing the entirety of hockey culture overnight, or even within a season. Even if I can help one fan feel included and want to start or continue playing hockey, I have done I what have needed to do. It is what I would've want I wanted to see in my respective sport(s) when I was younger.
Representation, diversity, and inclusion matters.
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geddy-leesbian · 7 months
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SERRENNEDY POKEMON CROSSOVER AU FOR SERRENNEDY WEEK!!
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As you can see above, this is very angsty. Leon and Luis both have a lot of trauma and Baggage. Luis almost has a panic attack and does some trauma dumping.
While there's no explicit smut on screen, there's a moment that gets kinda steamy and a fade to black/implied sex scene.
(oh and personally I feel very awkward swapping things out with pokemon terminology, like using "Arceus" instead of "God" so there is normal swearing here)
“Dr. Serra Navarro?”
“Well, yes, that is me, but typically I prefer Professor Serra,” His eyes wander all over Leon. “Though for someone as pretty as you, I prefer just Luis. Is there something I can help you with?”
Leon was afraid that he was going to go all the way to Alola only to find out it was all a complete waste because Professor Serra actually was just a professor unfortunate enough to share a name with a Team Rocket scientist. But that outcome is already ruled out. Either this guy is the lead he's been seeking for years, or he's an innocent professor that Leon will ask out on a date.
Due to excitement over finally finding a new lead, this trip was hastily put together, and Leon didn't realize how young Dr. Serr– Luis was. Once he confirmed that Luis was from Johto, he didn't go any deeper. He did see a couple pictures, but didn't pay much attention, and assumed the youthfulness was because they were older pictures. His assumption was very wrong. Luis is about his age and way too good-looking. The length of his grayish pink hair is braided, and the loose bangs are fluffy. His tinted glasses are a little too big for his face, but in a cute way. He's taller than Leon. And his outfit is fucking stupid. Shirtless under a lab coat. So stupid. It's hot.
A date with him will make this trip more than worth it.
“I just have some questions for you.”
“About? Are you a parent, or..? I don't think I've seen you around before, but I don't usually get anyone else dropping in on me like this…”
Shit. Leon really should have thought of a cover story beforehand. But in addition to not thoroughly researching Luis enough, he was also too high on the excitement of finally finding something after years of searching to bother thinking through what he'd say.
“Just heard about you, found your past interesting. From Johto originally, was wondering how it affected you. If you had any run-ins with Team Rocket.”
And it looks like Leon will not be going on a date with a handsome professor tonight. This is the guy. He recovers quickly, but for a split second, the phrase ‘Team Rocket’ invokes some panic in his expression.
“No. I was fortunate enough to never have encountered them.”
“You know anything about Mew?”
“Yes, of course? What kind of a professor would I be if I didn't? Mythical pokemon from deep in jungles in South America. Believed to be the ancestor of all pokemon.”
“What about Mewtwo?”
“I've heard the rumors, yes. A clone of Mew that was heavily genetically modified. But I believe that those are just that, rumors. There is no real substance to the claims.”
“Cinnabar Island. That's where you worked when Team Rocket captured and imprisoned Mew. You cruelly experimented on Mew. You helped create Mewtwo.”
“Who in the hell do you think you are, showing up at my doorstep to accuse me of such insane things?!”
“International Police!” Luis starts to shut the door, but Leon blocks the door with his foot. While he wasn't wearing his full uniform, he did bring his badge and takes it out to flash to Luis. He sees some purple fur coming up behind Luis. Must be an espeon, coming to protect its trainer. “Put that in its pokeball and open the door. Now.”
“I will do no such thing! I'm not proud of what I did back then, but I've done my best to leave it all behind, build a new life for myself. I will not allow you, or anyone else, to rip all of that away from me.”
“Not proud of what you did back then? So you admit it?”
“It doesn't matter. Arrest me if you really want, but it won't be anything more than a waste of time for the both of us. I'll maybe spend a night or two in jail, then be let go without charges being filed because I have a good reputation here and you have no evidence. If you try to tell anyone I confessed to involvement with Team Rocket, they won't believe you. You'll ruin your own reputation.”
“I do have evidence! Documents connecting you to the Mew experiments and the creation of Mewtwo.”
Luis actually starts laughing.
“You don't know as much as you think you do then. You find my name on a scrap of paper in the crumbling ruins of a lab, and think you know my life story! So arrogant! Yes, I did work at the Cinnabar lab, but I did not contribute to the creation of Mewtwo. I did not experiment on Mew. I have never had the privilege to even see the legendary Mew in the flesh. Mewtwo had already been created and Mew had already escaped before I was even hired. I can prove that your supposed timeline of my work history is impossible in court, so good luck getting a conviction!”
Leon moves his foot and lets Luis shut the door, and slinks away from his house with his tail between his legs.
Leon checks into a motel. He turns the TV on, but he can't focus on it. His mind can't stop wandering back to the conversation, analyzing every word. He fucked up.
“I'm not proud of what I did back then.”
He really fucked up. That could have been a very good angle. Tell Luis that this is his chance to atone and right his wrongs by telling Leon everything he knows about Team Rocket. Maybe even offer some kind of immunity deal if he still seemed hesitant.
But he had to get hot headed and fuck it all up. His first lead in years, and he blew it.
Not ready to admit defeat quite yet, he decides to give himself a day to cool his head off, before trying again. At least Alola offers plenty of distractions. He's not one for most of the tourist trap shit, but distracts himself with hikes through some scenic, and more importantly, rugged terrains. Pushing his body always helps him get his mind together. It's isolated enough that he can let all of his pokemon out too.
Something else Alola offers is a brutal sun. Leon didn't think to buy any sunscreen, and has a bad burn across his face by the end of the day. He's been through far worse, the pain is nothing to him, but he is annoyed at himself for being so stupid. His pokemon were quite happy with the exercise and exploration though, and his head feels clearer, so overall it was a pretty successful day.
A knock at Luis's door again. Rattled by yesterday, the knocking gives him a spike of anxiety. Still, he gets up to answer it, in case it's a student or parent that needs something.
He looks through the peephole and sees the same pretty International Police agent that came by yesterday. Luis really doesn't want to open the door. But he's worried it'll be worse if he doesn't and the man busts the door down. Besides, Espeon seems at ease with the situation, not alarmed and protective like she was yesterday. So he opens the door a bit, keeping the chain lock secure in case he tries to get in. (He would certainly be able to break the chain, but at least it would buy Luis a few extra seconds to try to think of a desperate plan.)
“Hello, officer! What are you here to threaten me with today?” Not wanting the agent to know how shaken he is, he turns up the sarcasm in an attempt to mask any nervousness. “Going to accuse me of experimenting on Arceus?
“No. No accusations today. Sorry, about yesterday. Wasn't polite to you. Can I try to make up for it, buy you dinner?”
“You can't seriously believe I'm going to just walk right into whatever kind of trap this is?”
“It's not a trap. Just feel bad about yesterday, I swear. I'm Leon, by the way. Think I forgot to mention it before.”
Luis goes to shut the door, but Espeon seems determined that Leon should be heard out, and telekinetically lifts the chain and nudges the door open. Leon smiles, and it cuts right through Luis's fear.
“I don't like you, and I don't trust you. But…” The prettiest man that Luis has ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on is trying to buy him dinner. (The angry red sunburn on his face does make him the tiniest bit less pretty, but he's still incredibly pretty.) Whether it's a date or something else, turning him down goes against everything Luis believes in. “I suppose I'm willing to put that aside for a free meal.”
“Look, you have every right to feel that way. But I really regret yesterday, I swear. It's just this subject… My parents were Team Rocket. Died on a mission,” Leon hates talking about this. With anyone. Back in his pokemon trainer days, before deciding to join the International Police, he'd had some time in the limelight. First as a rising star gym challenger, then as a champion. He always sidestepped questions when interviewers started asking about family. He especially hates talking about it to a member of Team Rocket. But this is the price he pays for fucking up yesterday. If he wants Luis to trust him and give him what he came for, he needs to give something himself. “Never knew details until I started investigating some stuff related to Team Rocket, found out they died on one of the expeditions looking for Mew. So this whole topic just gets me hot headed and dumb and I say things I don't mean and regret.”
“Well, it sounds like you shouldn't be an International Police agent then, if you can't separate your own personal issues from the job.”
“Yeah, maybe I shouldn't be…” Leon says, because what else is there to say? Luis isn't wrong. “C'mon, dinner. Walked past a restaurant on the way here, you know if it's any good?”
“Yes, we can eat there. By the way, are you aware that your face is extremely sunburned? I have stuff I could put on to help it.”
“Food first. Maybe after.”
“Suit yourself. I'm going to change, I'll be out in a minute.”
Luis ditches the lab coat and comes out with a top on, something that disappoints Leon more than it should. At least it's just a vest that shows off a decent amount of his chest. His hair is down today, and it somehow makes him look even better.
Leon regretted the way he approached Luis yesterday, but initially it wasn't because of guilt. Even if it wasn't Mewtwo, there was something Luis was involved in. He only denied experimenting on Mew and creating Mewtwo, he admitted he was a member of Team Rocket. Luis deserved the harsh treatment, he had only regretted it because Luis could be useful to him. But he does feel a small twinge of guilt for demanding he put his espeon in its pokeball when it follows Luis out the door and he sees that it has a service pokemon vest on. Maybe Luis would have felt safe and opened the door if he could keep Espeon out.
“I can walk there fine,” Luis says, noticing Leon looking at the harness. “I have an injury from a long time ago that flares up from time to time, but Espeon can sense when I'm going to have problems with it, gives me warning, and helps me not fall on my face when it does act up and I struggle keeping my balance. But it is fine most days.”
They sit across from each other, Espeon laying under the table by Luis's feet. Leon has to keep reminding himself that this is not a date. This is an attempt to get Luis to move past yesterday's harsh treatment so Leon can have a second chance at interrogating him. Despite his attempts to not ogle Luis, Leon can't help himself, and notices something very interesting. Scars. The biggest one is on his chest, and another on his cheek.
Being in a public place seems to put Luis at ease. Somewhat, he's at least smiling and looking more relaxed. As it probably should. Leon is dying to grill Luis about the “injury from a long time ago” and the scars he's noticed since sitting down. But this isn't the time or place.
“So… Small talk time?” God. This is actually a fucking date. “How long you been a cop? And why are you still poking around with Team Rocket? They're not a problem anymore. Disbanded twice, no activity in years. One would think the International Police might have some, ah, you know, actual problems to deal with, eh?”
“Been one for a few years. There's not a lot of resources being used up for it anymore, but it still matters to me personally,” There's actually no resources spent on it. Leon isn't here on official International Police business. The Team Rocket hunt is just vigilante shit Leon does on his own time. “Just because they've stopped doesn't mean they shouldn't be brought to justice for the past. Their leader slipped away, it just doesn't sit right with me. I'm trying to nail as many members who slipped away as possible,” Luis's smile disappears. “As far as justice goes, I'm mostly concerned about the big fish. Leader, executives. Finding small fish is just a good way to get leads on the big ones.”
“So if I understand, you help the small fish, they help you? They tell you everything they know about the big fish, and in exchange you don't come down hard on them?” Leon smiles and nods. It'll probably take longer than it should have because he'll need to build some trust after freaking the fuck out their first conversation, but Luis will play the game and give him what he came for. Luis's smile comes back. “Well, interesting… How have your investigations been going?”
“I've made some good leads,” That's a complete lie. Finding Luis's name in the ruins of Cinnabar Island is literally the only lead he's had in years. But telling Luis that will make him feel empowered. “William's out there somewhere, just a matter of time until I find him. Or until he gets tired of licking his wounds in secret and re-emerges on his own, something I'm hoping to at least make harder for him by picking off people he'll need to organize.”
“Do you want to come in?” Is Luis trying to have sex with him right now? They did just go on a date, after all. Why doesn't Leon want to say no? “So I can help you with your sunburn.”
Shit. Leon needs to get his mind out of the gutter.
Leon sits on Luis's couch, and Luis drags a stool over by the couch to sit on while he gently rubs ointment across his face with his (gloved) hands. Their faces are so close together. Leon has to stop looking at his face, because he wants to lean forward and kiss Luis. So he looks down. At Luis's neck. A fatal mistake. Before his brain can even process what his body's doing, he's pulling Luis forward, off the stool and onto Leon's knee. His teeth are sinking into Luis's neck.
As soon as he realizes what he's done, he hopes that Luis is going to ask him what the hell he's doing and get up off of him, because he's not sure he'll be able to control himself if Luis is into this too.
Of course Leon isn't that lucky. Luis moans at the first bite. He moans again and grinds down on Leon's knee with the second bite. The third bite has him yanking off the ointment covered rubber gloves and just tossing them on the floor, so he can start exploring Leon's body with his hands.
“I wish I could make some quip about buying me dinner first, but you quite literally did just buy me dinner, so… And really, I would be happy with this even if you hadn't,” Leon just keeps biting as Luis rambles. Now there's a hand in his hair, that clenches around or tugs at it with every bite. There's another hand working the button on his vest, and Leon is quite impressed by his finesse. With one hand and without even looking, Luis quickly has all of them unbuttoned. Though it doesn't get him to the bareskin he's desperately trying to get to, Leon also has a button down undershirt on. Luis doesn't bother unbuttoning all of them, just a couple so he can reach the bareskin of Leon's chest. “Someone as pretty as you doesn't need to buy me dinner, they can just do whatever they'd like to me. You're a cop, you have handcuffs? I'm into that.”
“Shut the fuck up,” Leon pushes him off his lap and gets up, then picks Luis up bridal style. Partially because he wants to give Luis a subtle reminder that he isn't just some small-time cop. He is, in fact, a very well trained special agent in peak physical condition. But mostly because there's a very specific place he wants to carry Luis to. He wasn't lying about someone like Leon being able to do whatever; he readily accepts being picked up, wrapping his arms around Leon's neck. “Where's your bedroom?”
“I didn't know I was working for Team Rocket initially. They had things very well compartmentalized. I was hired by a shell company. They had a contract with Devon Corp, so it really seemed like a completely legitimate company.”
In the afterglow, Luis finally starts speaking about his past. Leon briefly wonders if this makes him a whore. He isn't getting money for having sex with Luis, but he is getting information. Something even more valuable to him. The entire reason he's here.
But intent matters, right? Leon didn't start biting his neck because he wanted information. He didn't suck his dick because he wanted information. He didn't put him in handcuffs and sit on his face because he wanted information. He did all of it just because he wanted to. Just because Luis is hot enough that Leon temporarily forgot that he hated him. He was fully prepared to just go back to his motel room after, without any additional info from Luis, and just keep building the trust. So while he's not a whore, he definitely is a slut. Whatever. He's making more progress in his investigation than he has in years, it's fine.
“I was in a research team focused on mega evolution, specifically artificial mega evolution,” Luis continues. “Devon had recently perfected an artificial pokemon line, Beldum. They wanted us to find a way to make Metagross mega evolve. It was no easy task… But we did it. We tinkered around, created an artificial mega stone that metagross would respond to. We researched further, tweaking things to modify metagross's mega form, until we felt it was powerful enough. I was informed that Devon was extremely pleased with the work, and given a promotion, to be the head researcher on a new project my company started…”
“Guessing that's when you started at the Cinnabar lab?”
Luis says nothing, just stares down blankly, frozen. Leon reaches for a pokeball on the nightstand, and lets his sylveon out. It knows exactly what to do, approaching Luis to wrap its ribbon feelers around his arm. Leon hadn't ever wanted a sylveon. He had wanted his eevee to evolve into an espeon, actually. He thought the psychic abilities would be useful in his line of work. But it evolving into a sylveon instead has been a happy accident. Its calming abilities can be surprisingly useful.
“Yes, it was,” Luis answers. He's still wincing at the memories, but Sylveon's soothing aura is preventing him from having a full-blown panic attack and shutting down. “All I was told beforehand was that it was another project related to artificial mega stones. This was when the Alola research about mega evolution being cruel on the pokemon was starting to come out, so in my naivete I assumed we'd be modifying natural mega stones in ways that would make it easier on the pokemon. I knew something was deeply wrong when I was led downstairs. Armed guards. There was a whole maze of hallways and locked gates. As I said yesterday, Mewtwo was already created by this point. It had also escaped once and only narrowly recaptured, so there was much stronger security. I was never alone, there were always at least two armed guards with me at all times. It wasn't just to keep Mewtwo from getting out, it was also to keep me in. I knew it was wrong, it made my stomach churn, but I did the work. I did what was asked of me. We made two artificial mega stones tailored to Mewtwo. Two different stones, two different forms with different strengths.”
Despite Sylveon's feelers, and now Espeon's face rubbing against his other arm, Luis breaks down sobbing.
“You're okay. You're safe,” Leon whispers. Sylveon moves away from Luis's lap, laying down at the end of the bed, so that Leon can wrap his arms around him. As helpful as soothing pokemon like Sylveon can be, sometimes people just need human touch. Leon wants to press for more information right away, but he's not going to repeat yesterday's mistake. He has to go slow, he can't risk pushing Luis away and making him shut down before he's gotten all the information he can out of him. “You don't have to tell me the rest right now. Take all the time you need, okay, sweetheart?”
Jesus Christ. He just had sex with a member of Team Rocket, and now he's calling him sweetheart. At least he's making progress.
Luis just clings to Leon and sobs for a few minutes, before finally speaking again.
“I didn't want to, Leon. I didn't want to. I didn't have a choice. They were forcing me to, they would hurt me if I didn't, and I couldn't get help. Not from gym leaders. Everyone knows that William was the Viridian gym leader, but it went so much deeper than anyone knew. The lab was right by the Cinnabar gym, Wesker was the gym leader and heavily involved in all of the Team Rocket science research. Alexia, Saffron's leader at the time, was quite involved too and came to the lab regularly. The ones who weren't involved were getting paid off to look the other way. The police were paid off too,” Leon entwines one of his hands with Luis's and squeezes it, presses chaste kisses onto his neck, trying to encourage him to keep talking. This is a goldmine. He's long suspected there was a lot of corruption in Kanto and some intentional incompetence during the initial Team Rocket investigations, but could never get anything solid. And the fact that there were other gym leaders directly involved is actually news to him. “It was so screwed up what we were doing, I lost sleep over it, I barely ate because I had no appetite. Until one day…”
A loud, choked sob.
“Mewtwo got out again. All the new precautions weren't enough. It attacked all of us, we deserved it… It was a lab, there were scalpels, lots of glass to break, so many sharp objects that it lifted with its mind to hurl at us. That's how I got all my scars. The worst wound was in my back. It almost killed me, if it had pushed the bone saw in even just a little bit deeper, I would have died. I only survived because… It wasn't luck, it didn't make a mistake, it chose not to wound me fatally, because… Because I think it got in my head, it didn't say anything but it made eye contact with me, and saw that I wasn't a willing participant in its torture. The room after, blood… So much… I was the only one spared, it killed all the others.”
Luis untangles himself from Leon and lays down, closing his eyes. Seems like that's all the information he's getting tonight. Which he isn't upset about, it's a lot, far more than he was expecting. He'd like to know more about Mewtwo, where it ended up after this, and of course he needs more details about Wesker and Alexia.
“Stay?” Luis asks quietly, when Leon starts getting dressed. “Please?”
“Yeah,” Leon does still reach for his pants, but doesn't put them on, just fishes out his notepad so he can write everything down while it's still fresh. “Okay, I'll stay.”
It's dangerous. Leon is so close to liking this guy. Something he needs to not do, because Luis very much has the potential to be dangerous. The main reason Leon had been so hot headed and harsh to him initially is because he thought he got away with everything. He thought that Luis was a monster, and, instead of paying for his crimes, just walked away completely unscathed. Just moved to a new region, was completely accepted, became a pokemon professor, a pillar of the community. A role model.
But that's been shattered. While it may not have been in the traditional route, Luis has paid for his crimes. Is paying for them. Leon is cynical enough that he might have believed everything was just bullshit to manipulate him under other circumstances, but there's enough that it's undeniable. There's more than just faded scars that could have been the result of anything, he has an actual service pokemon. Years later, his injuries are still problematic enough for him to need that assistance. And clearly, he is genuinely traumatized. No one is that good at acting, Team Rocket is truly a trigger for him.
The issue is that Leon doesn't know why it's a trigger. Even injured and traumatized, Luis could be dangerous. The best case scenario is that he's been completely with Leon, and truly hates what he did. The worst case scenario is that he doesn't feel any guilt for his actions, and his near death experience was the only source of the trauma, without any emotional side to it.. Even injured and traumatized, Luis has the potential to be very dangerous.
“Hey, Luis?” Leon whispers after he's done jotting down notes about what Luis said, hoping he's not already asleep. His eyes flutter open. “Is it fine if I let my growlithe out? Usually sleep with it.”
“Go ahead. Just don't leave me. I don't want to wake up alone.”
He should leave. Luis is dangerous. Luis is Team Rocket. And Leon might already be a little bit in love with him, and needs to get the fuck away from him before he falls in even deeper.
But he doesn't. Instead he lets Growlithe out, turns off the lamp on the nightstand, and spoons Luis. He falls asleep with his arms wrapped around him, face buried in his fluffy hair. Espeon sleeps on the floor in its own little bed, while Growlithe and Sylveon lay down by their feet.
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aestaeticityshua · 4 months
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Dandelions | Xu Minghao
Synopsis: Choi Hyerin keeps receiving these sweet letters from her secret admirer. The only problem? She already has a boyfriend.
Pairings: Xu Minghao x OC Choi Hyerin x Joshua Hong
Genre and Tags: fluff / unrequited love / non-idol!minghao / highschool au / sweet letters / crush / first love / secret admirer
Author's Note: Just a small inventive outcome— inspired by one of my favourite songs, Dandelions by Ruth B. Not all stories have happy endings. Please leave your thoughts in the comments~
Rating: 13+
Word Count: 3.5K+
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AFTER THE TEACHER DISMISSED the class, Hyerin hurried to the classroom opposite hers, clutching a sheet of paper as she scanned the crowd for someone special. A brilliant smile lit up her face, celebrating her perfect score in Chemistry, a subject she typically disliked.
While her dedication played a significant role, her achievement owed much to someone dear to her heart—her boyfriend, Joshua Hong.
As Joshua exited the classroom, his bag slung over one shoulder, he ran his hand through his hair, oblivious to Hyerin's eager gaze. Finally spotting him, she dashed over, calling out his name. Startled, Joshua turned, only to be enveloped in a tight hug from Hyerin.
"Shua!" she exclaimed. He grinned as he embraced her in return, his eyes reflecting her excitement.
Breathless with enthusiasm, Hyerin shared her news. "Guess what? I, Choi Hyerin, just got a perfect score in Chemistry!" She handed him the paper, her eyes shining with pride.
Surprised but elated, Joshua scanned the paper, his smile widening. "I always knew you had it in you. I'm so proud of you," he said, gently pinching her cheeks.
Moved by his words, Hyerin hugged him tightly. "It's all thanks to having the best boyfriend," she murmured.
Joshua kissed her forehead. "No, I merely helped with the basics. The rest was all you. I'm truly proud, my love."
Hyerin's heart swelled with affection. "Really?" she whispered.
"Mhm," Joshua confirmed, holding her close. "And your mom will be thrilled. Show her as soon as she gets home."
Hyerin cherished the way Joshua looked at her—as though she were everything. And to him, she truly was. He was utterly captivated by her, and nothing else mattered in comparison. He was completely and breathtakingly fascinated.
Joshua had always been a man of few words, but since their paths intertwined, it seemed like there were a million unspoken sentiments between them. His eyes spoke volumes, effortlessly conveying his deep love for her. Their affection was palpable to anyone who observed them, revealing Joshua's complete adoration for her. Whether it was the sparkle in her eyes when he was near or the warmth of his affectionate smile, their relationship radiated pure love.
Even under a starry sky, their gaze remained locked on each other.
Lost in each other's embrace, they were oblivious to another pair of eyes fixated on them.
The onlooker's stare wasn't born of jealousy, anger, or resentment, but rather a bittersweet blend of pain and acceptance. Unintentionally, tears welled in their eyes as they continued to watch the couple from a distance.
"Hao, you shouldn't keep watching them. It'll only hurt you more," a voice spoke from behind, a hand resting on the observer's shoulder with concern.
"I know, Mingyu, but I can't help it. It's not that I resent seeing Shua with her. It's just hard not to imagine what it would be like if it were me instead of him," Minghao confessed, his longing evident in his voice as his gaze remained fixed on her radiant smile.
It always tormented him.
Her smile.
Minghao couldn't quite articulate why, but her smile brought him joy. He harbored just one wish — to be the reason behind her happiness. Yet, the realization that this dream would never materialize shattered him each time.
It remained his cherished fantasy, one he fervently wished would someday come true.
He often pondered if he could whisk her away, but did she harbor any desire to be with him?
However, Minghao could never betray his best friend, the one who stood by him from the start. He recognized that Hyerin meant the world to Joshua. Despite being the first to love her, Minghao knew he could never treat her as magnificently as Joshua did.
Joshua was incomparable, perhaps that was why she chose him. No one could dispute their compatibility, not even Minghao himself. Yet, witnessing her affection towards Joshua pierced him deeply. His only solace lay in his dreams, where she belonged to him and he to her.
Despite his unrequited love for his best friend's girlfriend, Minghao harbored no resentment towards Joshua; their friendship meant too much to him. He refused to jeopardize it for the sake of love.
"Perhaps confessing could aid your healing, Hao," Mingyu suggested.
"No, I couldn't do that to Shua. Maybe these feelings will fade with time. Until then, I'll find solace in merely witnessing her smile from afar," Minghao replied, a genuine smile gracing his lips as he watched them once more.
Mingyu couldn't help but feel sorry for his best friend. Though he couldn't change the situation, Mingyu always ensured he was there for Minghao, offering support whenever and wherever needed.
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"I'm just going to stash this in my locker. Be right back, okay? Meet you in the cafeteria," Joshua said, kissing Hyerin's temple before she headed off.
Joshua couldn't help but marvel, 'How did I ever deserve this angel?'
Turning around, he spotted his best friends and hurried over. Minghao swiftly wiped his tears at Joshua's approach.
"Hey, guys! What's going on?" Joshua beamed, earning fond smiles from both Mingyu and Minghao.
"Not much. We both aced Chemistry," Mingyu exclaimed excitedly.
"That's fantastic! I'm proud of you both," Joshua replied warmly.
Mingyu glanced at Minghao, then back at Joshua. "Hey, Shua, can I ask for your advice?" Joshua nodded, prompting Mingyu to continue. "I have a friend who's head over heels for this girl..."
Minghao shot Mingyu a warning glare, but Mingyu persisted, ignoring his friend's silent protests. "So, he's deeply in love with her, but she's in a relationship with his best friend."
"How did he develop feelings for his best friend's girlfriend?" Joshua inquired.
"Wel—"
"He didn't plan it. It just happened," Minghao interjected, defending his friend. "Besides, he loved her long before his best friend did."
Joshua arched a brow, puzzled by Minghao's defensive stance. "Well, if that's the case, why didn't he confess before his best friend did?" he asked.
Minghao faltered, unsure of how to respond. Joshua had a point. Why hadn't he confessed earlier? Was it fear, or a belief that he wasn't good enough for her?
He didn't know. Sensing the tension, Mingyu intervened, "Well, for whatever reason, he didn't. But now he can't shake his feelings and it hurts to see them together. How can he move on?"
Joshua pondered for a moment. "If he truly loves her—"
"He does. Very much," Minghao interjected again.
"Okay, then it won't be easy for him to let go," Joshua continued. "And since she's his best friend's girlfriend, he'll likely see her often, making it even harder."
"So there's no way for him to move on?" Mingyu pressed.
"There is," Joshua replied, catching Minghao's curious gaze. "Rejection."
Minghao looked puzzled, while Mingyu shot him a knowing glance.
"If he doesn't express his feelings, he might hold onto hope. But if he confesses and she rejects him, it'll shatter those hopes, allowing him to move forward," Joshua explained. "But since she's his best friend's girlfriend, a face-to-face confession might be awkward and could jeopardize their friendship."
"Way to burst the bubble, Shua," Mingyu remarked, rolling his eyes.
"You didn't let me finish, you goofball," Joshua retorted. "He could write her a letter, confessing his love as a secret admirer. That way, she won't know it's him, and he can move on when she rejects him, without risking their friendship." Joshua grinned, pleased with his solution.
"But what if she tells her boyfriend about the letters? That would ruin his friendship," Minghao asked.
"She wouldn't. She would probably refrain from bringing this up to him," Joshua reassured with a smile.
"Thank you so much, Shua. You're the best!" Minghao exclaimed.
"You're welcome, I guess. Are you going to go tell him now or...?" Joshua queried.
"Yes! Joshua, we have to go. We'll see you later. Thanks again!" Mingyu exclaimed, grabbing Minghao's hand as they began to move away from Joshua.
Joshua shook his head, smiling as he saw his two best friends head inside the cafeteria.
'I might be the only boyfriend who would give his best friend permission to write love letters to his girlfriend,' Joshua thought with a sigh.
He knew.
Of course he knew. Joshua wasn't that naïve or ignorant to not notice the sparkles in Minghao's eyes whenever they landed on Hyerin. It would be impossible to miss the lovely smile on his face each time she would smile. But Joshua never said anything. Knowing this made Joshua value Minghao even more than he already did. He was surprised by how Minghao never once showed his anger or hatred toward him. No matter how hurt Minghao was, he always proved that his friendship with Joshua meant so much more than anything else. Even now, Joshua noticed how Minghao was keen and focused on not ruining their friendship.
Joshua was certainly scared.
Scared of losing her—his everything. But if being with Minghao is what she would want, Joshua would definitely give her up happily, knowing that she would be with someone who loved her deeply. Probably even more than Joshua himself. What mattered to him was her happiness. Nothing else. If she would be happier without him, Joshua wouldn't hesitate to let her go. His mother always used to tell him, "If you love someone, the best thing you can do for them is letting them go. If they are yours, they would always find their way back to you and if they don't, they weren't ever yours."
'I hope you get to tell her everything you wished to say, Hao. I hope it would help you move on. If you end up winning her too, I would be very happy for you.'
Joshua smiled tenderly, walking towards the cafeteria.
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"I don't know if I should do it. It feels wrong," Minghao sighed, his hands fumbling with the piece of paper in his hands.
"Hao, even Joshua himself gave you permission to write to his girlfriend. What more do you need?" Mingyu reasoned.
"But he didn't know that it was about me and Hyerin," Minghao frowned.
"But it's not like you're doing anything wrong, Hao. It's okay to be a little selfish at times like this, you know? As Shua said, the only way you can move on is if you get rejected." Mingyu placed his hands on Minghao's shoulders. "You might never get a better opportunity other than this."
Minghao sighed, his heart heavy at the thought of betraying his best friend. "I don't know if I can betray him like this. It's hard."
Joshua hid in a corner next to them, eavesdropping on their conversation. He sighed, feeling somehow happy that Minghao felt hesitant. Of course Joshua wanted him to be a little selfish and do it, but he felt very grateful to have someone as unique and special as Minghao in his life. Nonetheless, Joshua definitely wanted him to do it. Joshua never felt guilty for being with Hyerin; he just couldn't bear to see his best friend get hurt because of him.
Minghao took a deep breath, knowing that he had to do it either way. He inserted the paper slowly in between the small gap of Hyerin's locker. Joshua felt relieved and proud of Minghao for doing it.
"I'm sorry, Shua," Minghao whispered, his head against the locker.
Joshua smiled fondly at his best friend. 'It's okay, Hao. I'm happy you did it.'
"Let's leave before she comes, Hao," Mingyu suggested, earning a nod from Minghao.
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After a long and eventful evening, Hyerin was certainly exhausted but was still very cheerful because of her huge achievement. She happily skipped to her locker.
Minghao watched with a small smile on his face. He knew it was wrong to feel this way but his heart couldn't help but palpitate wildly for what was coming next. He was both nervous and excited. Minghao had already made different assumptions as to how she might react to the letter, and he was prepared to get his heart broken.
Hyerin opened her locker, only to find a small piece of paper. Confused, she grabbed it delicately as if she might ruin the paper. Noticing many words written neatly, she started reading it.
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I couldn't stop my eyes from searching for every trace of you. I'm in love, alone.
I'm in love with the impossibility of me and you.
With a heart like that, you deserve the world, darling.
If only I had been a bit earlier, I might've been treasuring you in my arms now.
Maybe we were meant to meet but not to be.
- MH ♡
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Hyerin looked around, hoping to find the writer of the letter.
'MH?'
She wondered, her mind recalling anyone and everyone she knew with the initials 'MH'. But to her dismay, no one as such crossed her mind. Hyerin wouldn't lie, the way her admirer worded his feelings definitely made her feel butterflies. If she weren't already in a relationship with someone she loved with all her heart, she might have been swayed.
She sighed, grabbing the paper before closing her locker. Scrunching her nose, she headed to her class. Though she was physically present, her mind was captivated by thoughts of who could have written her the letter.
"Hey, my love," Joshua hugged her from behind, kissing her head. "How was dinner yesterday?"
"Oh, yeah, it was great. Mom felt really proud," she replied nonchalantly. "She invited you over for dinner today. Can you make it, Joshie?" Joshua chuckled at the nickname, pinching her cheeks.
"I'll try, sweetheart. Do thank her for inviting me, though." Hyerin nodded, cuddling closer to him.
"Shua, there's something bothering my mind," she whispered.
"Really? You wanna talk about it?" he asked gently, rubbing her back.
"Never mind. It's nothing." She shrugged as he frowned.
"If you still want to talk about it, I'm always here, okay?" She nodded, pecking his lips. "I love you, Shua."
He smiled. "I love you more."
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These are the words I never thought I'd be able to let out.
Maybe it's the way you say my name, but it's so good. I've never known anybody like you. I've heard of a love that comes once in a lifetime and I'm pretty sure that you are that love of mine.              
Though I'm a coward for not saying this to you face to face, I simply just cannot bring myself to do it as you make my mind go blank every time I see you. Perhaps, that was the reason I couldn't confess sooner than he did.                   
I'm in a field of Dandelions, wishing on every one that you'd be mine. I see forever in your eyes, I feel okay when I see you smile. Wishing on Dandelions all of the time, I pray to God that one day, you'd be mine.
However, I'm happy you're with the best possible guy for you. Even if I had confessed earlier, I wouldn't have been able to love you as half as he does. 
I hope you stay happy with him always. I love seeing you smile.   
I always thought it was impossible for a person to have a smile much more beautiful than all of the wonders of the world but you proved me wrong, so never give it up for anyone. I'm so inspired with you; how special your heart is, how your mind works, how you live and especially how you love.           
Please don't search for me. I really do wish I could tell you who I am but I'm afraid I can't. 
Such a coward I am, aren't I? I already know what your reply would be but hearing it out loud would help me move on. Please come to the rooftop after lunch, though you won't be able to see me, I'll be there, listening to you.
I hope you'll come.                                                
- MH ♡
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Quickly checking her watch, she widened her eyebrows. Shutting her locker, she ran to the rooftop. Hyerin hadn't been to her locker since morning and only checked just now after eating lunch.
Feeling guilty, she ran as fast as she could, hoping the mystery person wouldn't misunderstand the reason for her absence on the rooftop.
Catching her breath, she shouted, "I'm here!" hoping her secret admirer was still present.
Taking a deep breath, she started, "Hi, you already know that I have a boyfriend and that I love him a lot. I'm guessing the reason you're not revealing yourself to me is because I already know who you are. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry that I was blind to see how you felt about me. It must've hurt you a lot to see me and Joshua together. And you're not a coward; confessing to someone who is your friend isn't easy, there's a lot to take under consideration, so I understand. I just wanted to know why you decided to tell me now. I'm really sorry I can't reciprocate your feelings, as you already know, I love Joshua with all my heart and I can't even imagine being with someone who is not him. I'm really sorry. I hope we still stay friends. Thank you for all your beautiful words. If I hadn't already loved Shua, I would've definitely been swept off my feet. I hope you find someone better than me, someone who actually deserves you and loves you a lot. I just wanted to say this. Thank you for being my friend and for revealing your feelings to me instead of bottling it up forever. I wish nothing but the best for you."
She let out a sigh, hoping someone actually heard her words and that she wasn't just talking to herself. She slowly stepped out, heading to her class.
All the while, Minghao could do nothing but cry as he felt his heart break. He knew what she would say, but he was grateful that she tried her best to let him down politely. He kept crying until it satisfied his heart. Suddenly, someone embraced him, softly patting his head.
"It’s okay, Hao," Joshua whispered, his voice gentle and soothing. "I’m here for you."
Minghao looked up, surprised to see Joshua. "Shua, why are you here? You- you knew?"
Joshua smiled softly. "Yes, Hao. That's why I told you to do this and I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know this was hard for you, but I’m proud of you for telling her how you feel."
Minghao wiped his tears, feeling a mix of relief and gratitude. "Thank you, Shua. I don’t know what I’d do without you."
Joshua hugged him tighter. "We’ll get through this together, Hao. You’re not alone."
As they stood there, Minghao felt a sense of comfort knowing that despite everything, his friendship with Joshua remained unshaken.
The saddest word in the world is almost.
He almost had her, she almost fell for him.
They almost made it. And now, their 'almost' would always haunt him forever.
══✿══╡°˖✧✿✧˖°╞══✿══
This is my last letter to you. I just wanted to tell you everything I wanted to because I wanted to have no regrets and what ifs. It's going to be a bit long so I'm sorry for that. One, I heard you yesterday, thank you for coming and telling me how you feel, I really appreciate it. Second, thank you for coming into my life and making me feel things I myself couldn't explain. It hurts like hell to have to forget you but now, I at least had my dreams and fantasies killed, it'll help me move on.
You are the love that came without a single warning and you stole my heart before I could even say no. It's very pathetic really, how much I hope it's you and me in the end. You and I, we were always just an almost—never something, never nothing but just an almost. It was hell realizing you only loved me in my dreams and I always woke up alone. At least now, I won't have regrets that I couldn't express just how much you mean to me.
Your happiness has become such an important part of my life now that it kills me to see you sad. Always keep smiling, you deserve it more than anyone. And, don't let him go, he's one of a kind. Just like you.
Goodbye, my almost first love.
- MH ♡
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Hyerin softly smiled as she read the letter.
"Bubs, I missed you." A voice cooed in her ears, hugging her from behind as she giggled.
"Really? Should we go on a date today then? I already finished studying for my tests." She replied, turning around and wrapping her hands around Joshua's waist.
"Sounds perfect." He pecked her lips.
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Heyy!! This is the first oneshot! I hope you all like it and that the ending didn't disappoint you. Sometimes, the person you love may not be destined to be yours and that's okay. I would be very pleased if you all could leave comments sharing your thoughts, I'd love to read them and analyze the ways I can improve with my writing! Please let me know how you all felt~
The second oneshot is upcoming and my masterlist will be updated after I've published 5 oneshots!
Thank you all so much for taking your time to read this! I love you! See you soon~
-Hera 🤍
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kakashi-posting · 9 months
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Thinking about the concept of trans Kakashi being given a newly out Naruto and how they help each other learn and grow. Think kind of like those 5 things + 1 thing tropes, that type of vibe.
Kakashi having came out at a young age was able to get to a point where no one really knows. He'd always just gotten on with it and no one questioned that he ever could have been born female. It was all a quiet thing, they made sure he was sure about it but were willing to assist him with transitioning and not making a big fuss over it. Medical files had a note in case it was needed but it was mostly just his choice if he wanted to tell people.
Naruto however, was a loud and proud newly out trans kid. Takes it a lot harder when people slip up on names and pronouns. Willing to talk openly about how he realised and what his goals are with transitioning.
At first Kakashi struggles with having this kid around because it's never been something he felt the need to be proud about, it was another thing that just made him different after all. Who wanted to publicly share something like that?
But things start to shift the closer Naruto gets to being allowed to start hrt. Kakashi recalling his own anxieties when he was told how they'd have to do an interview with him beforehand just to make sure it was a choice he really wanted. He thought it was dumb that a bunch of cis people got the final say on him being "trans enough" to have access to medicine so he ended up offering to go with Naruto as moral support.
Whilst he wasn't allowed in the room during the interview, he'd spent the morning helping Naruto go over what the questions might be like and explaining to him that he shouldn't need their approval for something like this but that he'd support him regardless of the outcome.
He'd still never explicitly said to Naruto that he was trans too, maybe he didn't need to anymore but something in him was nagging him that he should just say something. Being the "different" kid was never an easy thing but being the trans kid came with a whole set of other issues.
Like the time he'd been genuinely taken aback by Naruto telling him how half the village didn't care what name he went by because they'd portray him as evil anyways. Kakashi had always been glad to come out so young because it saved him a lot of the social transition stress with his peers but Narutos story was just another layer of pain ontop of an already difficult situation. That was probably the first time he'd truly related to the kid.
Which made it no surprise that when Naruto reappeared with a huge smile on his face that Kakashi couldn't help but offer a sincere one back.
Kakashi is ultimately the one to teach Naruto various things from how he can cut his hair in masc ways to how to figure out his clothing sizes. He was even there to help with his first T shot, playing it off as a worry that Naruto could hurt himself if done wrong so he'd supervise to be sure nothing happened.
Navigating some topics were admittedly harder though like binding, how to do it safely, how long you can do it for, stretches that can help.
When Kakashi finally did outright confirm himself being trans he hadn't expected for Naruto to be shocked. After all how else would he know about all this stuff when most of the village hardly got even the concept of being trans?
But in typical Naruto fashion he had to listen to the excited, over exaggerated response as it finally dawned on him that there was someone else like him. When Naruto did calm down about it, Kakashi noticed that he did feel better about finally saying it, getting the words "I'm transgender" to the other person in the village who could get his experiences was just refreshing. Especially as Naruto eased the tension by explaining how he just assumed that Kakashi was a good ally like how Gai is always aggressively supportive of him. Only for Kakashi to sigh and nod. He remembered his coming out to Gai, it was the biggest most dramatic response that Kakashi would have normally hated. But it was so incredibly Gai that he just didn't mind.
Some of his old friends from his ANBU days knew too, not that they'd ever say anything without his permission.
And when Iruka had found out that Kakashi would be teaching Naruto it had sparked them to become closer so they could discuss their student. Eventually leading to him comforting Iruka that it would be strange for him to be transphobic towards another trans person. Iruka seemed to process it in waves, comfort that his student was safe, confusion in his phrasing, understanding what he meant, acceptance.
But after all this time with Naruto and seeing how the village seemed to warm up to him slowly and accept him wholly for who he is, it made him wish he had more of that acceptance rather than just keeping it something he pushed down.
So deciding it was about time to change things, he followed in Naruto's footsteps for once and started to casually bring up his gender in some conversations. Mostly just little jokes here and there. If Naruto could so bravely be open and proud, then maybe he could do.
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heartysworld · 2 years
Text
Quite the surprise || Daemon Targaryen x Reader
A/N: I hope you guys enjoy this one I out so much time and effort! This is a request I got not long ago. I am deeply sorry if there are any mistakes, this is still not proofread!
If you wish to be in my taglist feel free to comment and you will be added!
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Word count: 2k
Masterlist
It was a night of celebrations when Prince Daemon received the news that his wife, Princess Y/N had started her labour. Instead of feeling excited and happy, Daemon was full of fear and anxiety. His wife has had a very hard pregnancy ever since they conceived. You were in pain constantly and barely felt good enough to step a foot outside of your shared chambers. As their child grew inside your stomach, the suffering increased as well.
The maester couldn't do anything more than prepare a tonic that would help with the discomfort, but that did not work good enough. The only thing they could do is pray that both the mother and the child would survive the birth.
"My love." Daemon said as he entered the chambers he shared you.
There you laid, body weak, covered with a layer of sweat as your chest rose up and down heavily.
"Daemon." You whispered, a small but painful smile appearing on your lips.
"I'm here, Y/N. I won't leave you in such a moment." He said, taking a hold of your hand, pressing it to his lips laying a kiss on your palm.
"I am happy that you're here, my Prince. You and I will both meet our child at the same time." You said, voice almost gone.
"I couldn't be happier to be here, love. You're giving me the best present to ever exist to a man. You're the strongest woman I've ever encountered in my lifetime. I'm so proud of you." He said, leaning closer to you, giving you a kiss on the forehead.
"My Prince, we have to prepare the Princess for the process of her delivering the child. We will need you step out of the room, you will be called in again when we're prepared to start. It will not take long. You have my word." Maester Dowin said.
Daemon hesitated for a moment, but then proceeded to do as he was told, there was no need for additional tension in the room.
"I shall return very soon, my love. I will not leave you alone." Daemon whispered against your lips. The two of you shared a small kiss before he made his way out of the room.
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King Viserys, having heard of the news of the Princess's labor, decided it would be generous to visit his brother, encourage him in such a stressful situation.
"Daemon." Viserys said as his eyes caught sight of his brother sitting on one of the chairs in front of the room his wife was in.
Worry written on his face.
"Brother." Daemon replied.
" I came to see if everything is going smoothly. How is she?" The King asked, laying a hand on his brother's shoulder.
"It is not good. She's in so much pain, more than she should be in. The maester says it is going to be a hard birth, we could only hope for the best outcome." Daemon said. Worry laced in his tone.
"Sometimes, in desperate times, the husband should make the decision. If it comes down to choose who must be saved." Viserys said.
Hearing his words, Daemon stood up from his seat, seething with anger caused by his brother's words. He knew what he was implying, the King had already done as he said once, his actions resulting in losing both his wife and child.
"You have no right to tell me who should be saved,and who shall die. I do not care if you're my brother, my King or even my God. I will not lose my wife in my desperate attempts to have a son! I am not you, Viserys, I am no weak man, I will never, not in a million years, lose my wife over a child, a child that I can give her once again someday." Daemon's voice booked through the empty hallways. Eyes glowing with savage fire, ready to end the man standing before him with a snap of his finger.
"Daemon, you have to understand, an heir is more important than a..." Viserys started once again but was interrupted by his younger brother.
Daemon's hand was tightly wrapped around Viserys' neck, stopping any air from passing down to his lungs. The older brother started struggling for air, hands grasping at his younger brother ones in desperate attempts to free himself.
"I do not want to even see you step a foot near my wife and child. Not now, not ever again. You leave my family in my own hands. Now get out of my sight." Daemon said, releasing his brother from his grasp.
"How dare you! I can have your head for treason!" Viserys started screaming.
"Get out of my bloody sight and do not ever step near my family!" Daemon's voice sounded as if it could kill anything that stood on his way.
A crazed look on his face, he was like a mad beast, ready to defend whatever was his and everything and everyone who dares to try and hurt it.
"My Prince." A voice called out for Daemon. It was Maester Dowin stood at the door of the chambers his wife was in, your painful sobs audible from the inside. "We're ready, you shall take your place by your wife's side." He added.
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"Princess, you have to push!" The Maester and one of his apprentices yelled at the same time. "I can't. It's too painful, I feel so weak, there is no energy left within me." You breathed out, drops of sweat dripping down from your face.
"Y/N, Y/N look at me." Daemon said to you. "You can't give up, not now when we're so close to having what we have spoken about since the day we got married. I can't be a father without you,love. I need you, our child also needs you. You have to push, for everything we've ever wanted." Daemon added. His words felt like newly received energy for your body. You gathered everything that was left inside your weak body and pushed.
"The head is out, Princess, one more strong push and the shoulders will be out. You'll get to meet your firstborn child." The Maester said.
"I am strong." You started. "I can do it. I can birth our child. I will meet them. I will watch them grow up." You continued talking to yourself. It was working, Daemon's words from earlier and your strong will were helping bring your child to the world.
A few seconds later, a loud wail was heard, making every other noise in the room die down. Daemon's head snapped towards the Maester who held up in his hands a small wiggling babe, covered in blood and placenta. The infant wailed loudly, the sound bringing tears of joy to your face. Daemon stared silently, his hand gripping yours with all his strength, afraid that if he let go he would wake up in the same room he was in now, beside you, no trace of his firstborn child.
"It is a girl, my Prince,Princess." Maester Dowin said.
He brought the tiny girl to your sweaty and exhausted form. Your arms instantly wrapping around her small body as she wailed freely.
"She's here, Daemon. Our baby is here." You cried.
"She is, she really is here." He whispered, he couldn't think straight at this moment, he could only watch as his wife held their daughter while her loud cries filled the room.
"You're so beautiful. My little dragon storm." He whispered as his finger found its way to her small, soft cheek.
"Ah." You winced, new pain appearing in your lower abdomen.
"What is it? Are you in pain?" Daemon asked, he was immediately snapped out of his trance as he heard the sounds of your discomfort.
"It hurts, it hurts a lot Daemon. Maester, I don't think that's normal. What's happening?" You asked, panic overtaking you.
"There... There's no bleeding, nothing should hurt, Princes." The Maester said, his voice holding panic as well.
"She says she's in pain! Listen to what she's saying and do something about it! I want to get out of this room with both my wife and daughter!" Daemon yelled.
"Maester!" Called out another voice. It belonged to one of the women who assisted Maester Dowin.
"What is it, Shenor?" He asked.
"Is there a possibility...for twins, maybe?" The woman asked hesitantly, afraid to meet eyes with the angry Prince.
The second Maester Dowin heard her words he checked the birth canal wasting no more time.
"What's happening?" You asked, your voice trembling.
"There's another one, my Lady! Push, you have to push, there is another babe on the way!" The man yelled, the apprentice in the room took your daughter from your embrace, taking her away to be cleaned up while you started the process of bringing the surprise babe on this earth.
"What a surprise." You whispered under your breath before you started pushing.
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"I don't think I've seen a more magnificent sight than the two of you, my little dragon storms." You heard a voice quietly say as you awoke from your slumber.
After the second babe was born and you were told that everything was okay, you fell in a much needed slumber.
"Two years ago I vowed to protect your mother with all my power, today I make the same vow in front of you, my children. My daughter and my son. " You recognized Daemon's voice.
You found him on the other side of your chambers, hovering over the cradle where your precious infants rested in.
"It seems like we will need to take not one, but two eggs from Dragonstone. Viserys will be pissed." Your hoarse voice sounded through the room, stealing Daemon's attention.
The next thing you knew,he was by your side, cradling your face.
"You're awake." He sighted. "I was so worried about your wellbeing."
"I'm here, I'm fine, we're fine, all three of us." You said with a sweet smile on your face as you brought your hand up to stroke his cheek.
"What you pulled today...it was the most amazing and most terrifying moment of my life, Y/N. I don't think I can go through another birth with you." He said, making you raise an eyebrow.
"You... can't go through another birth?" You asked , repeating his words.
He couldn't help but laugh at your question.
"What I intended to say, was that I don't think I can watch you suffer as I did today." He said, placing a kiss on your dry lips.
"For now, let's focus on the two infants we have in our hands. We have a long way to go before even considering about pregnancy." You said.
You could hear your babes cooing at the distance. The sounds making you happier then ever. The girl, you named Veneeys, and the boy Vahaerys, the first of their names. Now, you just had to watch them grow and one day become the great rules of all of Westeros.
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minnowrowdy · 4 years
Text
Alrighty peeps, I got an update.
I found a system for me on catching up on late work-
that has worked for a few weeks already!!
I feel so accomplished every time I think about it, because I've been trying to drudge up all ounces of motivation, energy, courage, and more in order to ignore my anxiety about my missing work, and it hasn't worked much.
On Feb 11 or so I started a list of every assignment that I complete.
I have a separate page outlining the rules.
I know myself, and deadlines stress me out and I procrastinate until it's necessary to do them. ( In fact, this was a big reason for my current inability to complete the ones past due.)
So why should I make a deadline?
I shouldn't.
Instead, I have created on the 2nd page some rules, and something to work towards.
Since I am currently consuming every video and stream about the amigops as I can, specifically corpse_husband, I have decided to use his new streams as mine.
Then, since I know the date the stream is made days beforehand, and I know he has a playlist for live streams that have already past, it removes the obligation to do things by a certain time.
Instead, I now have excitement to work on everything to be able to watch it as soon as possible.
On the separate page, I also have added 2 labels. Complete, and Days Passed.
On the day I create my thing to look forward to, I start with 3 assignments to do. If I achieve the 3 on the first day, I add those as marks on my Completed area, and can watch. But every day I don't have the completed area achieved entirely, I add a tally to the area labeled Days Passed.
To paraphrase the last part, I start with 3 on the first day, and add 2 more things to do each tally mark of the Days Passed area, unless I have it completed.
For every assignment I do, I have also gotten in the habit of writing it down on my first page. Today, I looked at the list and it was a full page, when I still believed it was half-full. That was a nice confidence booster!
Currently, my set reward is watching the stream from the 23rd, and I am 8/13 assignments away from it!
There is a bit of math to think of each time I check the list, but that's okay because it makes me want to know how close I am to finishing even more.
The 13 assignment total looks scary, but I am happy because it's been only 5 days and I've made 8 assignments already. That's a vast improvement than previously, where I struggled to even complete 1 in a week.
There are still days I can barely remember to mark a new tally in the Days Passed before I forget, including last night where I literally had to get myself out of bed at 11:30pm because I barely remembered then and knew if I didn't it would be a while before I would again. Perhaps making this some sort of calendar might be better instead of a tally, unclear yet.
I do have to keep myself from going in the tags on tumblr to find out about the streams, though, but I sometimes do and scroll past tings quickly so I can find any more possible lobby notices by them.
I decided not to stop myself from watching any youtube videos at all or old streams of his I've already seen, because I would be bored and wouldn't feel more accomplished if I could do nothing I wanted to when avoiding work. Now, I'm procrastinating a few hours til I forgot about it and enjoying it, then willingly deciding to work on what I can to earn more tally marks in completed quicker so I can see the new streams.
Since these are late or incomplete, they don't have a deadline. So newer assignments don't quite have the same effect as these, which presents a future problem. A nice but unpredicted outcome was me actually completing today's assignment the hour it was given, because I just wanted more tallies added!
I got lucky because corpse decided to create more among us lobbies recently. 😂
I have slight guilt every time I use more of the paper in a notebook, so I tend to write to try and 'save space', which is illogical considering the amount of notebooks made in the world and how if I don't fill it the pages will stay blank and be unused anyway?
Unless you also are having missed work, an interest that is 'updated' multiple times to keep you finding new parts of it, and don't find doing a little math irritating, then this wouldn't work at all for you, but there are probably so many ways to revise this? Sorry 😞
I am mainly just sharing this because I am proud that something I came up with on a whim worked so well for the past few weeks.
I would be very interested in any possible revisions or any comments you have for this
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jumazo · 4 years
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Visialize Your Goal
Alexandra Taketa
Writing down your goals is like plugging your destination into the GPS. It sets your directions, helps you map your next steps, and informs your choices.
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Today, I want to share a tool to help you take your goals up to the next level. I want you to start to VISUALIZE & EMBODY your goals.⠀⁠⠀
The truth is, a big part of your creative power comes from cultivating the picture, the images, the thoughts and the emotions you want to experience - before they even happen.
Like 95% loves.
In fact, science has proven that your brain doesn't know the difference between something that happened or that you imagined happened.
You are actually training your brain to change how it is wired, to rewrite the biochemistry and to record whatever you are visualizing as an actual memory.
Not to nerd out too much, but this sets up your brain to filter decisions and align your choices and actions to create more "like" experiences.
Ready to give it a try?
Check out this quick 2-step process to help you VISUALIZE and EMBODY your goal:
1. Visualize your goal as if it has already been achieved.
Close your eyes. Take a few deep breaths and then direct your focus to imagine the amazing result, the peak moment, the exciting transformation or the best outcome for your goal. (For example, if your goal is to win a marathon - you would visualize yourself on the podium receiving the medal...not the slog of training for the race.)
For example, if your goal is to earn $100,000 or $250,000 or $1 Million this year, visualize what your life looks like and how you feel when you achieve this goal.
Maybe you see yourself as a leader in your company.
Maybe you are winning an award for top sales.
Perhaps you are imagining the massive impact and transformations out into the lives of others as a result of your work.
Maybe you are seeing satisfied clients and customers all around you that you adore.
Maybe you are imagining paying off debt or taking your family on a special vacation.
Perhaps you are imagining the ease you experience from the additional income.
Maybe you successfully launched a business, a venture or a new revenue stream you have been thinking about for a long time, and now you see yourself with that success in hand.
Maybe you just received a big payoff or check for all the effort you put in.
It doesn't matter what it is - it just has to feel good to you! Imagine yourself with the goal already realized and fulfilled. Imagine it's your's and you did it!
2. Think of the positive emotions you are going to feel when you reach your goal.
This is an important step, not to be skipped.The combination of your intention from step one and the catalyst of your energy from your feelings and emotions in step two act to raise your energy to equal your desire. This is how you become a match for your goal and desire.
In doing this, you begin to magnetize your future desire into your reality now. You move from cause and effect to creating an effect.
As you visualize, allow yourself to notice and feel all the positive emotions of your desire or goal accomplished. For example:
I feel proud.
I feel happy.
I am standing taller.
I feel confident sharing my services / asking for business.
I feel so grateful.
I feel appreciative of all the opportunities.
I am noticing my impact and it feels good.
I love how supported I feel in my business.
I am in the flow.
I am excited by all the success.
I am filled with a sense of joy.
I feel abundant.
I feel worthy and valued.
I feel whole and confident in who I am.
I feel like I am adding value.
I feel accomplished and fulfilled.
I feel purposeful.
As you embody the feelings of already having it, having done it, doing it and/or being it - you are training your brain to create it in your now reality.
Ok, it's your turn.
Don't overcomplicate it. Use the two step process above and spend 1-2 minutes visualizing your goal.
See it. Feel it.
Then LET IT GO.
DON'T keep going back to "redo" your visualization. Just let it be.
DO go back to the successful positive feelings and emotions, especially if you start to question or doubt yourself.
Remember, you wouldn't be given a goal or a dream if it wasn't meant to be yours.
You got this!
I'm here for you too. REPLY to this email or send me a DM and let me know how it goes.
Abundance is yours!
Talk soon!
Alexandra
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