#I'm done rambling this has been in my drafts for a long time

[yesyourstalker]

Ikkan: Are you sure you don't want me to come back home?

Neta: please don't....I'm sorry. Please don't leave your vacation because of me. I'm really sorry I didn't mean to worry you

Ikkan: .mmk

Neta: I'm sorry

Ikkan:don't apologize babe it'll be ok

Neta: *yawn* I know I just...I just needed to vent

Ikkan:I just want you to get some rest. Call me in the morning ok?

Neta: alright. I love you.

Ikkan: I love you too.

Neta: I didn't mean to worry you.. I really don't want you to come back. I don't want your trip to be ruined because of me.

Ikkan: noooo no don't say that babe

Neta: I really feel like I am though. I shouldn't have called you. I just feel like I'm being........ too much because-

Ikkan:because you're not.

Neta:..........

Ikkan: we'll talk about it in the morning

Neta: it'll actually be after 12:00

Ikkan afternoon yeah we're in different time zones I forgot

Neta: it's ok....*sniff*

Ikkan: I love you

Neta: I love you too............*yawn*...

Ikkan...babe get some sleep.

Neta: hmm ...............................hm hey......

Gai:..... I'm sorry.... I just thought you should know I didn't expect you to get this upset

Neta: dad ......*sigh*..... thank you for telling me.....*sigh*....... I just need to process this..... I'll see you.... I will call you when I'm ready to talk.

Gai: alright..... have a good night

Neta: yeah. Have a good night............. fucking hell ........

_______________________________________________

Merv: ikkan help set the table

Ikkan: ok...

Merv: Noji help me bring out the food. We're having tuna steak and scallop octatoes and gravy.

Ikkan: you really went all out Dad

Merv: yeh well we have guests over they should have a nice meal for the first night.

Noji: only the first..hehehe

Merv: dinner is ready!!

Cirrina: I'm coming!

Warabie: smells good

Shimi: hmm.....*eating*....wow it's not that bad... it's

Merv: fresh?... yes we have a farm to table house hold. Almost everything on your plates comes from my farm or from the locals farm or ranch. It's all prepared by hand. We are a homestead family and community we give to our neighbors and they give back to us. The bread that we are serving now came from the bakery, we gave them wheat and they gave us bread in return. Eventually you'll learn the way of the community and learn how to harvest, grow and take care of the livestock.

Cirrina: do we get to see the manatees now?

Ikkan: not yet Cici eat your dinner

Cirrina: damn....

Ikkan:hehehe... Be patient

Cirrina: hehehe.....did you call dad?

Ikkan: yes.... he's... he's doing ok

Cirrina: alright...

Ikkan: he doesn't want you to worry.

Merv: alright everyone time to head in. Tomorrow we start working.... Ikkan, Noji help me with the dishes

Noji: on it. Good night Cirrina I see you tomorrow.

Cirrina: night! Hehe.

_______________________________________________

Mahi:......*sleeping*.........*sleeping*......hm.....*Yawn* morning....uhhh... What time is it?

Mizole: it's 7:45

Mahi: haaaaa...*Stretch*.... I'm going to get some free coffee, see if Toguni is up. You want something?

Mizole: nah.,...

Mahi: do you want anything?

Mizole: nah ......

Mahi: come on...get up

Mizole: mmmmmmm

Mahi: cooommmme oooonnnn... let's go..

Mizole: mmmmm....no....stop...you smell...

Mahi: so do you. it's 95 outside and we're sleeping beside a bunch of strangers....get up let's get some coffee and see the line for the community showers.... come on..... mizole get up...(Kick)

Mizole: UGH... FINE!.. I gotta go to the bathroom anyway. If I see ichiya I'm kicking his ass!! Embarrass me in front of everyone. He can't let shit go

Mahi: *sigh*.

Mizole: what?

Mahi:... nothing.....

Mizole:....babe

Mahi: *huff* it's just you spent most of the day yesterday fighting with your ex. If it wasn't fighting it was constant complaining. I thought this was going to be a fun thing we could do but If you had fun this year we could go every year but... Like a tradition we do every summer

Mizole: hey listen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be such an asshole and I'm having fun actually......... [kiss] we're going to have fun today. I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to bitch and I'm not going to fight with ichiya. I'm just going to ignore him... Today's going to be about us k ?

Mahi: .....alright...[kiss].... Let me get some coffee....... morning Toguni....you sleep well?

Toguni: *yawn*.... yeah...the bus has pretty good air conditioning.... what you want?

Mahi: I'll just take two iced coffees with milk and two pumps of vanilla....

Toguni: it's going to be a wait we ton of others to fill

Mahi: we can wait

Mizole: I can't. I'm heading to the porta potty... Maybe take a quick shower.....

Mahi: *siff*...ugh.....I'm gonna go change I'll be right back.

_______________________________________________

Merv: warabie. Son get up it's morning time put on your pants and boots and head downstairs for coffee and a corn muffin. Let's go!

Warabie: what?.......... it's only 5 30 in the morning

Merv: and it's a very beautiful morning. Now get up and wake up your father too

Warabie: *huuuuuuu*....The sun's not even up

Ikkan:....*eating*....*sip*....morning

Warabie: you're already up

Ikkan: yeah I came back up here just to get my work boots...*eating*... here you can borrow my old ones. They're a little big....*sip*... Head downstairs for the coffee gets cold

Warabie:.............*sigh*

Ikkan: morning sweetie, have some milk.

Cirrina:...hmmmm...morning........*sip*....hmmmm taste different.

Ikkan: That's because it didn't come from the grocery store...

Noji: yep, it came straight from Patty. No preservatives, no additives, non-homogenized and freshly pasteurized milk.

Ikkan: morning guys... Coffee still hot muffins freshly baked

Shimi:...hmmmm....*sip*........

Warabie: so what do you want us to do today?

Merv: well we have to harvest all of our crops to make room for a new crop.... but let's do our regular chores first. Ikkan load the manatees up and drive them to Mr Graves field to graze, take Cirrina with you.

Ikkan: alright

Merv: I need you to go to let the krill out for and collect their eggs and clean the coop, warabie you can help him

Noji: on it ! Let's go warabie!

Warabie:... Do we at least get gloves?

Merv: Shimi you're going to help me clean the barns and collect manure and replace the feed

Shimi: what!...uhh..let me just call my wife. I uh.... I'm.... worried about her...... I'll be right back..................pick up pick up pick up

Oshi: *sigh* righhhht there......[POP]..*moan*...

Masseuse: you have a lot of tension in your shoulders and upper back ma'am

Oshi: That's what happens when you raise eight kids...... Nine counting my husband....*sigh*....... that's nice ....hm? .......hm.. let it go to voicemail......

Shimi: oshi!

Oshi voice mail: sorry I can't answer the phone right now. Please leave a message at the deep

Shimi: damn it oshi!.............*huff*..........

Merv: here's your boots and gloves.... also I would change into something more..... work orientated... wouldn't want you to rip your pants.

_______________________________________________

Neta: *typing*........*typing*.....

Naomi:um....uhhh.... neta...... The store is closed um... Everything is organized and clean. We just need to put the money away....... We need your help to do it.....

Neta: right...... right I'll be there.......*sigh*......

Antho:.............

Neta:...*counting under breath*. ........*sigh*....

Antho: You're quiet today... usually you're loud and annoying

Neta: just a lot on my mind I guess.......... life is really hitting me hard right now ...*huuuu*

Naomi:........oh.... I'm sorry

Neta: I'll be fine tho.... I don't need you guys to be concerned.......... But I do appreciate it though. Thank Naomi and you too Annnnnthooooo you're sweet!heheheh

Antho: (swat)...stop ..

Naomi: hehehehe

Antho: I'm headed to the food court Naomi you want to get some cold wontons before we leave

Naomi: ok ...bye Neta

Neta: see ya kids............ I could go for some room temperature Pizza............

_______________________________________________

Mahi: alright... coffee time. Tonugi! Where's my coffee?

Tonugi: here's your two coffees and a salmon and eggs breakfast sandwich

Mahi: Sweet! I thought coffee was just free

Tonugi: No coffee is free. You have to pay for the food but you get it free. That guy actually paid for it I think he knows you

Spyke: (waving)

Mahi: * gasp*....you.... you can keep the sandwich I don't want it.....I-I have to go ..

Tonugi: but-

Mahi: I need to leave.....*huff*.... I... I'm going to the porta potties.......ugh..... DON'T tell him where I'm going. Lie or something

Tonugi: yeah... yeah...yeah... No problem

Mahi: thanks....*huff*...

Spyke: wait! Hold up! I just want to!....damn lost them... Did they tell you where they were going?

Tonugi: uhhhhhhh.... No I have no idea. I think they were going back to their... Van... they parked their van in the trailer park spots down over there past the food stalls and the showers they're going to be in slot OV All the way in the back

Spyke: All the way over there? Ehhhh I'll catch up with them later maybe.

Tonugi: alright....*sigh*.. .

Stefan: morning tonugi....*yawn*.....oh! Salmon and eggs.. I'll take that thank you very much...*eating*....hmmm just like mother used to make...

Mizole: The bathrooms were surprisingly clean....hey Mahi..*oof*... What happened to the coffee?

Mahi: I dropped them....

Mizole: oh .. well you can just go back and get -

Mahi: I don't feel like going back there right now. We can do it later

Mizole: hey... are you okay?

Mahi: I'm fine ....... let's just go to the stage I think Trip tank is going playing let's find a good spot.

Mizole: sure. Are you sure you're okay?

Mahi: yeah... I'm fine...

Mizole:[looking around].....…....…………………………………

Spyke:………………………………………………

Mizole: [grimacing]............Come on. Let's go. It's a day just for us. Remember?

_______________________________________________

Cirrina: how many manatees do you have?

Ikkan: we have eight of them. We're about to have 10... Luna and honeydew are going to have their calves soon

Cirrina:awwww they're going to be moms. That's sweet..

Ikkan: you want to feed one?

Cirrina: yes!! Yes..

Ikkan: * whistle whistle*...*kiss kiss* come here Luna!....*whistle*.......ok so just hold the squid plant and let her eat

Cirrina: *gasp* she eating it!!.....ugh.....ewwww!

Ikkan: aww she's giving you kisses..

Cirrina: give me another squidplant............ So what did dad say when you called him?

Ikkan:................ your father is doing just fine. He's just a little stressed out with work and wedding planning.

Cirrina: he sounded upset on the phone.... I couldn't hear what he was saying. Why did you offer to go home early? we just got here.

Ikkan:.........*sigh*...... I'll tell you tonight...... your father doesn't want you to be concerned. He wants you to enjoy this trip okay...

Cirrina: alright........... So how long are they going to be grazing

Ikkan: we usually let them stay here for 8 hours Mr Graves is going to keep an eye on them.. let's head back home and get the tractor ready

Mr Graves: hold up! I got a couple ice chests for you.... Manatee chops, prawn steaks.. krill Patties. we also got a great haul last week so we have some whale fillets freshly cut and some Lobsters dogs for you. As a thanks for the fresh produce

Ikkan: thanks Mr. Graves really appreciate it.

Mr. Graves: hhmm..

Ikkan: let's go home and see how warabie's holding up

Noji: we're almost done!

Warabie: how many eggs do these things lay? We've been doing this for hours

Noji: It's not even 7am yet... Look how many eggs you've collected? That's a lot. You're doing a good job considering this is your first time doing this

Warabie: there we're done! So can we go back to bed?

Noji: now we just need to replace all of the dirty hay and replace it with new hay which should take 45 minutes...

Warabie: UHHHHH

Noji: warabie.... This doesn't seem fun or worth it right now, but you'll soon realize that this work is actually really rewarding

Warabie:....pfft....yeah right

_______________________________________________

Neta: *eating*.....*sigh*..........

[knock knock]

Neta: *eating*...hey baja... What brings you here?

Baja: My apartment's empty

Neta: ha! So is mine

Baja: I saw you at the food court and I was going to say something but you really didn't seem like yourself

Neta: hmmm...*eating*... You want some pizza?

Baja: ok...sooo how's everything going?

Neta: It's fine. My dad came to visit today

Baja: That's nice to have family over

Neta: *eating*........ Yeah......... he's dying heheh

Baja: uh...oh.....neta. ....neta I'm.... I'm really sorry

Neta: yeah cold water disease..... He found it on his arm. He didn't go to the doctor it got worse and started to spread and now it's in his ink sack and they can't do anything sooooo..... Yeah...*sniff*... that's great.......

Baja: do you want to talk about it? I mean I lost my father I don't know if have any good advice but I'm welcome to hear-

Neta: I don't even understand why I'm so upset. It is not like he was there for me or he was a good father or a good person. It's like.....like I shouldn't be this upset. I guess I'm just more angry and frustrated than upset because you could afford treatment now. Why didn't you get treatment like this isn't like my mom. ... She died of the same thing. We couldn't afford to go to the doctor... but now you can!! Why didn't you!!

Baja: well..

Neta: *crying* It's like why the fuck are you even coming to me now? *Sniff*. You had plenty of time to form a relationship with me and try to rekindle something but you didn't. *Crying*...now that you're dying you're going to try to do it? Why!!? So? If it doesn't work out you can just escape responsibility!!?....*crying*... I fucking hate him!!!... I don't want him to die................. not Anymore.....*crying*.....

Baja:...................

Neta: *crying*.......... I'm sorry I shouldn't have dumped that on you.........

Baja: oh it's ok.... I overshare a lot too

Neta:...... Hehehee.....*sigh*....*eating*....ugh........ This pizza is gross

Baja: yeah....hehehe.......... You want me to stay over?

Neta: what?

Baja: My apartment is super quiet like scary quiet. Can I sleep over maybe give you some company

Neta: ............................yeah....*sniff*.......yeah....*sniff*.....fuck it I'm going to order a real pizza..... Get some blankets, pillows............here pick a movie, any movie............. Take my old pajama pants.

Baja: alright a day just for us!

Neta: hell yeah!......... hello.....hi baby!!..... Are you having fun on the farm?..... yeah...... I'm fine sweetie......... yeah....*sigh*.... So how's ikkan and warabie.....HE FELL?!!! Hahahahahaha!!!! I'm sorry, I'm sorry that's not funny, that's not funny. Tell him I said sorry hehehehehehehe hahahaha!...ok...ok....oh alright bye sweetie.. Tell ikkan I said hi.. and I'll call him tonight

Mahi has been secretly filming the shows and sending them to @fish-at-fish-fish-resort and antho

Tonugi, Stefan and Pacifica are the cleanest mother fuckers at that music festival Everyone else is sweaty and stinky @conkreetmonkey

[sinsatmidnight]

30 Years Later

Pairing – Kim Minji (JiU) x Male Reader

Words - 3101

Sins – Smut, oral, sumata, shower sex

So...it's been a while. I have not been keeping up with what goes on Tumblr, I have to admit, and nor have I read any (most? I may have read a couple during this period) of the many stories that people have started after I stopped. I'm inevitably rusty, but I had this draft I started a long while back that I somehow got into the mood to finish, so I figured I may as well post it, just for fun. Maybe someone will enjoy it. Hopefully you like it if you read it! And no, I don't expect a significant uptick in activity from me, but I may pay more attention to some of the other stories being written. Working on this was not quite the healthiest thing (because uh, I may have overused a certain part of my body the last couple of days) and let's just say one of the reasons I'm posting this is because it already had a significant bit written. But I kinda wanna subject myself to more of this...abuse(?) now. Ugh I'm rambling, but anyways, hope everyone has a good day (or night)!

(2130 hours, 20 September 2220, Eternity)

It started out muffled. The droning sound breaking into your consciousness, jolting it to life. You have no idea what it is. Or where you are, for that matter. Your eyes are closed. But your ears are sharper now that your mind is actively concentrating on listening.

A voice. Female. You can’t make out words but she sounds calm. And then your eyes slowly open, almost as though forced open by an outside force. That’s when you remember.

“Condition is stable, consciousness gained, cryo pods are opening.” That calm, droning female voice comes through clear to you now. There is a soft hiss as the transparent door of your cryo pod slides to the side. The light outside your pod is quite soft, and yet at the moment to your eyes, it is blinding. Disoriented by your awakening, you lay in the gel bed as you try to get your bearings.

“Eden? Status update…oh, and what is the current date and time?”

The ship’s AI, Eden, responds in the electronically generated calm tone that all shipboard Ais use. “Welcome back, Commander. All of the Eternity’s systems are currently running optimally. All crew members are in good health. It is currently 2130 hours, 20 September 2220.”

Your mind does the math easily despite just coming back from the induced cryo-sleep. Thirty years. Well, that would be right. Crew members were supposed to be woken up after thirty years to run manual checks on the ship’s condition and look over all data collected automatically by ship sensors and the AI. They stay up for two weeks and then go back into cryo-sleep. And after the first thirty years, this is repeated every five years.

Your mind remembers that crew members aren’t woken up alone, they’re normally woken up in pairs as an additional safety measure. One person who can handle technical or mechanical issues on the ship, which in this case is you, and one more person who is medically trained to check on the sleeping crew and in case of medical emergency.

Your gel bed is softening; rapidly melting as you defrost and becoming less of a gel and more of a slime. A marvel of human technological ingenuity; the clear gel froze quickly, was non-toxic in case of accidental ingestion, while also serving as a shock-absorbent and anti-bacterial bed for cryo-sleep.

You need to get out and check who else was awakened with you. As your hands reach and hold on to the sides of the pod, you realise that you have an erection. Your mind immediately jumps back thirty years prior, to the minutes right before the crew enter cryo-sleep. It might have been from thirty years ago, but those are your last waking memories and they feel like just minutes ago instead.

You remember undressing before you enter your cryo pod; cryo-sleep has to be done naked and trying to unpeel clothing frozen to a person for years is painful. And that was when your eyes caught sight of the occupant of the pod opposite you.

With long dark hair and incredibly kissable lips, combat medic Kim Minji drew attention wherever she went. She was tall, gorgeous and had a body that drew a reaction from your own. As you watched her unzip her white bodysuit and slip out of it, stripping off her underwear and getting naked, you felt the blood rush to your penis and you were glad that she was too preoccupied with her own cryo-sleep preparations to look over at you. You ended up getting frozen before your erection could soften.

Back in the present, another female voice that definitely wasn’t Eden’s cuts into your thoughts. “You’ve had that for thirty years, Commander?’

As you stumble out of the pod, the melting gel dripping all over the floor, your eyes immediately catch sight of Kim Minji’s naked body standing outside her pod, the clear slime dripping off her body and giving it a shimmering sheen under the soft white lights of the cryo chamber. You quickly realise two things: that Kim Minji is your medically trained partner that you’re going to be alone with for the next two weeks and that your erection won’t be going down anytime soon despite your embarrassment at getting caught. You technically outrank her, but that doesn’t matter when there’s just two people awake on the ship.

Minji’s gaze is fixed upon your groin and very obvious erection and a smirk plays on her red lips. “Oh, Minji, I-“

Before you can think of an excuse, Minji cuts in. “Thanks for the compliment, I guess. I’ve never had a guy have a boner for me for that long.”

You smile sheepishly and try to change the subject. “Let’s go wash up before we start work.” At the far end of the cryo chamber was the doorway to another smaller room. A shower chamber with a row of showerheads which to wash off the slime with warm water before you got dressed. There were no partitions, they didn’t bother with them, given that everyone is naked in the cryo chamber anyway. And anyone outside the showers can see into them, given that the walls and doors are made of transparent shatter-proof glass.

You drip clear slime onto the silvery metallic floor beneath your bare feet and the metal doesn’t feel cool to your touch, but given that you were completely frozen minutes ago, that’s understandable. The two of you make your way towards the shower chamber, walking past the other cryo pods which stand up at 45-degree angles, glancing at the naked bodies of other crew members stored in cryo-sleep within them. The water from the shower feels warm to you, a nice comfortable temperature. Minji is next to you, the water flowing over her naked and fit body. It's not helping your erection. Her voice cuts into your thoughts. "I can feel some slime on my back still, could you help me scrub it off?" You hesitate for a moment but then your hand reaches forward and runs over her smooth back, swiping the slime off. You feel Minji's body shiver at your touch, and she lets out a soft moan.

You are sure that your erection is pointing straight up now. Not that it wasn't before, but this situation is just prolonging it.

"Oh, that's nice. Can you do it a little lower, please?" She asks, and your hands move further down. Your hands are caressing her pert ass now, the soap lather coating it and making it feel smooth. Minji is letting out soft moans and you are enjoying touching her. As you wash her ass, your fingers stray between her legs, rubbing against her dripping vaginal folds. She is wet and it is not the water causing this.

"You're doing a great job, Commander. But there's a lot more I need you to wash for me." You turn her around so that she is facing you. You look into her eyes and she is biting her lower lip. Minji has a perfect pair of breasts, firm but soft and a nice handful. They are covered with soap lather now and you find your hands moving forward to massage her tits. You pinch her pink nipples, feeling her tremble as you touch her. Minji leans into you, her wet body pressing against yours. She feels hot to the touch, as though her temperature has gone up.

"Look, I really feel like I should help you with that boner of yours." Minji whispers breathily. "Can I do that for you, Commander?" She has already reached down and taken your hard length in her hand, her thumb rubbing the head of your cock, spreading the precum that had gathered. She gives your cock a gentle tug, and it takes all of your willpower to not cum on her right then and there.

"Fuck, Minji, that's- that's fine." You let out an odd mix of strangled gasp that ends in a muttered assurance, as her soft hand continues to firmly stroke your erection.

"Thanks, Commander. I appreciate it." Minji presses those incredibly kissable red lips up against yours, and her tongue hungrily comes out to play. You reciprocate, even as your hands are busy continuing to explore her body. Her hands, on the other hand, are one of the most pleasurable experiences you’ve ever had as your wet cock is deftly and smoothly pumped and stroked.

With a wink, Minji drops to her knees, the water from the showerhead splashing her face and wetting her long hair. She presses her tits together and wraps them around your throbbing shaft.

It feels good and your body instinctively thrusts forward, your hips rocking back and forth, fucking her breasts. Your balls are tensing up, and you can tell you aren't going to last long. It is smooth and slick between her breasts and the tip of your cock is rubbing up against her lips with her tongue comes out to tease the tip. Your eyes stare at her as she looks back at you and with a smirk, Minji parts her lips, taking the head of your cock into her mouth.

The tip of her tongue swirls around the sensitive head, licking up the precum that continues to leak. Then, she starts bobbing her head forward and back, taking more and more of your shaft into her mouth, eventually releasing your cock from between her tits. Minji hums contentedly as she sucks and swallows your cock, and her hand is wrapped around the base, pumping you in time with the movements of her head. Minji’s other hand has drifted between her legs, and she starts to furiously masturbate as she blows you. Her slender fingers plunge in and out of her leaking vagina as she keeps her thumb vigorously rubbing her engorged clit.

As you lock eyes with the gorgeous medic on her knees in front of you, she gives you a sultry look, her lustful eyes peering into yours as she sucks you off. Minji’s expert tongue swirling around your shaft and the vibrations of her moans as she takes your dick deep into her throat very quickly becomes too much for you. Your hands need to grab something, to get control.

Your fingers run through her long hair and roughly grab hold of her head, pulling her towards you as you thrust into her mouth hard. You hear her gag a little, but she doesn’t stop with her movement. You feel the pressure building up, and your hips are moving of their own accord. Your cock is hitting the back of her throat, and your balls are tightening.

With a moan, you cum in her mouth. Thick spurts of cum erupt from your dick and fill her throat. She swallows it all, and stands up, licking those red lips. "That was tasty. It’s not every day you get to taste cum stored up for thirty years."

You barely register her words, breathing heavily. That was the most intense orgasm of your life. Your cock is still hard, but Minji is seemingly satisfied. For now.

Or maybe not. She steps away from you, and turns around, bending over. Her shapely ass is facing you, and her pussy is glistening. She looks back at you and wiggles her hips. "Can you help me clean down here too, please?"

You can't refuse Minji’s request. You have to return the favour, after all. You move towards her and rub her pussy. It is dripping wet, and her juices are flowing freely. You stick a finger inside her and feel her walls clench around it. She lets out a gasp, and pushes her hips back, as if wanting more.

"Oh, I really need it, Commander." She pants, as you continue to finger her. You pull out, and she lets out a groan. "Why did you stop?"

"Just making sure you're ready for me." You reply as you give her pert ass a quick spank, drawing a low moan from the medic. You position your cock at her entrance and push inside her.

She gasps and whimpers as you enter, and you feel her pussy walls tighten around your shaft. You start to thrust into Minji’s soaked pussy, and she groans while pushing her hips back to meet your thrusts. You grab her hips and pull her closer, helping her out in an attempt to get ever deeper inside her. She cries out in pleasure, as you fuck her as hard and fast as you.

It doesn’t take long before you are getting close to climax, and she is too. You can feel her walls tightening around your shaft, and her breathing is getting faster. You grip her hips tightly and pound her harder.

"Commander!" She moans, as she orgasms. Her juices flow over your cock, and you can't hold back any longer. You pull out of her and explode all over her ass and back, creating a sticky mess there. And then you plop down on the ground, all this exertion so soon after coming out of cryo-sleep has taken a lot out of you.

You both pant, catching your breath. Minji crawls over and kisses you deeply. "Thanks, Commander. I can't wait to work with you for the next two weeks." You can only nod breathlessly in response, your tongue wrestling with hers. Minji breaks the kiss and stands up, with her back to you. “Well, going to need your help with this mess here. Your fault, so you clean it up, sir.” Your gaze goes over her cum-glazed skin and you stand up to grab a sponge from the side of the room, lathering it up with some body wash from a dispenser. You start to work on cleaning her up, using the sponge to get your semen off her skin. But Minji is inherently distracting. It is clear whenever you touch her that she is affected by it. You hear some sighs of pleasure, even the occasional whine when your hands leave her.

This inevitably affects you and you are somehow hardening again down below. You make a split-second decision and suddenly press Minji's wet body up against the wall. You swiftly follow that up by sliding your semi-erect dick in between her soaked creamy thighs. You start to thrust in between her thighs, making sure that you brush against her pussy fold throughout.

"Oh, you're naughty, sir." Minji pants lustfully. You can feel the warmth of her vagina radiating through your thrusting member. You are quickly erect once more. This feels even better than her sucking and giving you a titfuck. "How is this, Minji?" You whisper into her ear.

"Fuck, Commander. That's… that's really good. Really, really good." She whimpers breathily, her body pushed up against the transparent wall, tits first. Your cock continues to slide between her thighs, teasing her pussy. You are both covered in soapy suds, the water from the shower spraying and splashing on the both of you. Her skin feels silky smooth and slippery to the touch. With each thrust, her ass and thighs clap loudly. You reach forward and fondle her tits, her nipples hardening and her breathing quickening. You keep thrusting, enjoying the feeling of her soapy thighs wrapped around your shaft. Minji is moaning and gasping with each thrust, and her breathing is getting faster.

Her legs are trembling, and her juices are flowing freely, mixing with the soap suds and water. Your balls slap against her clit, and she cries out in pleasure, her whole body shaking. You reach forward and grab her wrists, pinning her to the glass wall. She lets out a moan and arches her back. You kiss her neck and shoulders and continue to fuck her soapy thighs. She is whimpering and moaning with every thrust, and her juices are flowing freely, making her inner thighs and your cock very slick and slippery.

Your thrusting becomes faster and more urgent. Minji is definitely close to climaxing; you hear her moans and whimpers are getting less coherent and more urgent; you’re sure you catch some lust fuelled whining and babbling about wanting your cum and something about being fucked hard. Your cock is slamming against her pussy, and her walls are clenching around it, her juices leaking out. She is breathing heavily, and her legs are trembling.

You release one of her hands and guide it down to her clit, prompting her to start rubbing it furiously. Her fingers are a blur, and her moans become louder and more urgent. You continue to fuck those soaped-up milky thighs of hers, and she is practically screaming in pleasure, her voice echoing off the walls of the shower room. Not that you had to care about anyone hearing you. You did have an odd sort of audience in the rest of the crew outside in cryo-sleep, just beyond the transparent wall you have pressed Minji against.

Your cock is twitching and pulsating, and you can feel the pressure building up. You are both close to that final edge, and the only sounds are your heavy breathing, the splashing water, and the loud clapping sound of her ass and thighs slapping against your cock and balls.

You thrust forcefully into her thighs a few more times, and then you erupt. Your thick, creamy load sprays onto her thighs and the transparent wall, coating them in your semen. Her body shudders, and she cries out, reaching her own climax. Her juices flow over your shaft, and she slumps down, exhausted. You follow suit and collapse next to her. You both lie there for a while, trying to catch your breath. You do catch out of the corner of your eye, that Minji takes a few licks of your cum from the wall.

The two of you eventually manage to finish your shower and dry up, with you eyeing Minji the whole time as she puts that white bodysuit back and zips it back up. She catches your eye, bites her lip, and then smirks naughtily. You’re both relieved and regretful that your cock is worn out and needs rest. That would have brought it back up. You and Minji are both very well aware that you don't actually have much to do over the next couple of weeks, other than the occasional diagnostic check of the ship’s systems and such. The ship’s AI, Eden was there to handle the heavy lifting. And so, you're very much looking forward to the next couple of weeks alone with Minji.

[hunterbunter3000]

I know damn well gaz is a bottom you can't change my mind 😤

Like dis man makes the beautiful noises when sweetheart fucks him stupid with her fingers or a strap (I know sweetheart got a strap somewhere in her damn room) and he's a babbling mess like crying and moaning loud so sometimes sweetheart gotta use a gag or her fingers so no one hears (but the boys do hear em and they are really jealous and horny) *BANGS TABLE* AND WHEN he rides sweethearts strap this man HHHNNGGG this man will ride sweethearts strap until he collapses.

But sweetheart being sweetheart she does aftercare like running a hot bubble bath for gaz and picks him up and puts his body in and while gaz is in the bath sweetheart is cleaning the sheets and adding fluffly blanket for gaz and when gaz is done sweetheart picks him up and wraps him up in a fluffy towel and dries him up (because I know damn well gaz ain't gonna be walking for a bit)

And let's him wear her clothes that are pretty big on him like AHHHHH cuddles man this man will cling on to sweetheart while she's combing his wet hair HNNGGG and has falls asleep basking in sweethearts warmth.

(Why did I write this much?)

Soap definitely gonna be jelly 🤭

I'm going fuckin insane.

DO YOU WANT ME TO PASS OUT? IS THAT IT??

Good Boy.°

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick × 141!Sweetheart

[Gaz × black!ofc!reader]

Cw.: soft!femdom, overstimulation, dumbification, pegging, cock ring vibrator, handjobs, mommy kink, begging kink (is that a thing? Probably is idk 💀) mentions of scars, horrible attempt at smut, sub!Gaz, Lil bit of edging, praise + degradation, aftercare, cutie cutesy fluff, there's a surprise in here for Sweetheart 🤭 it'll be in pink, jealous ass brats teammates, listening to people getting it on (idk what that's called)

Reader accessories.: Black!fem!reader, she/her pronouns, detailed reader, reader is 6'5, reader is fully clothed fucking Gaz, reader has tattoos and battle scars, reader has long nails, reader has some big ass hands

Word count.: Long. AGAIN. (IDK HOW TO DO A WORD COUNT DAMMIT HELP)

This ain't the best thing 💀💀 but I had to GET THIS OUT IT WAS SITTING TOO LONG IN MY DRAFTS AND THIS ASK IS TOO GOOD AND W O W I RAMBLED ON FOR SO LONG BECAUSE IM NOT GOOD AT WRITING SMUT YET GIMME A BREAK OKAY IM TRYING MY BEST 😭 and i made this LATE like 5 am so i was shit tired and just rambled lol also tried out a new layout on how to do headcanons and drabbles... may like it may not idk ANYWAY ENJOY

18+ MDNI

Minors do not interact with this. Thank you BYE.

This man-- HEHEUAHE YOU'RE SO RIGHT ABOUT GAZ

He's such a bottom for Sweetheart. Like in general

He would always be so shy around her; his chin close to his chest, looking up at her with big eyes and hot ears

And Sweetheart would always eat that SHIT UP

She always has a burning, feral feeling inside her when he acts shy around her. Like she either needs to take care of him or fuck him senseless

And when he just gives into her, gulping before whimpering out a quiet "Yes ma'am." When she gives out an aggressive order.

SHUT THE FUCK UPPPPPP

Sweetheart wants to take him where he stands EVERY 👏TIME 👏

Just jerking him off and seeing him whine and cry- AAAAAAAAA

Sweetheart should NOT think of him that way. That's her teammate. Her friend.

...which she wouldn't mind fucking and breaking his back. And she had enough of this overwhelming feeling everytime she talks to him. She thought he was shy because he was intimidated by her, or maybe because of the height difference (She's five and a half inches taller than him) or that he has a burning feeling inside of him too. Hell maybe it was all three, so she asks him.

It was all three 💀

But his feeling was to be fucked by Sweetheart. Not the other way around.

Sweetheart was in HEAVEEENNNNN

So we're back to the now, and it's been two hours, they're in her room; Gaz naked, bouncing on Sweetheart's pink thick strap, while she's controlling his cute cock ring vibrator. His legs wrapped around her hips, ass slapping against her thighs.

They're both sweaty, sticky, covered in cum and tired. But neither of them can stop. Gaz feels another orgasm building up, and he picks up his speed, wanting to reach it so badly that he cries. His moans get louder, more desperate.

"Fuck! Yes yes yes!" He screamed out, tears flowing out just like the cum spurting on Sweetheart's tummy. She breathes out, hands smoothing his hips. "There we go, Gaz. Good boy. Such a good cock slut for mommy." His thighs and hands shake, mouth spewing broken moans and whines. "More..." He starts to grind on the strap, as deep as it can go inside him. "M-more... please.. I wanna cum again-- wan' cum.. Mommy please!"

His babbles make Sweetheart laugh. "Your legs are probably so tired, baby. You want me to take over now?" He shivers when her pointed nails circle over his sensitive nipples. He leans down to her chest, hips still grinding on the toy and prodding at his prostate. “Yes… yes, please. Wanna be fucked by you. Ruin me, mommy…”

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

Sweetheart feels her heartbeat quicken. The fire in her belly was getting hotter, too hot to control. She growls, manhandling Gaz off the toy to turn him around. She sits up, hands cupping his thighs as she raises her hips to slide back in. Gaz let’s out a long whine as he’s finally full again. Sweetheart doesn’t speak. Carnal desire took over her, her hips ramming into his ass as he screams out. Sweetheart rubs his bottom lip with her thumb before she inserts it in his drooling mouth. “You’re being too loud, hun. Don’t want the others to hear how much of a slut you are on my cock. Now suck on it.”

He sucks hard on her thumb, tongue swirling the pad. Her teeth grazing his neck, lips sucking on his sweaty skin. He’s trying to be quiet, but her thrusts are making him forget any sense he had left. Fuck and he’s almost about to cum, whines getting higher and eyes rolling back. Gaz gasps when Sweets slows down. “Nah-uh, not yet.” She coos. “I need you to beg for it, baby. Beg mommy to cum.” AAAAAAAAAAAA

She starts to grind in his g-spot and her other thumb rubbed his urethra. Babes he was seeing stars.

He can’t really speak as her thumb is still in his mouth, but he rambles on anyway, whimpering please over and over with his hoarse voice. (I have a feeling that Garrick’s voice goes up when he’s overstimulated) “Fuck, you’re so cute. Go ahead and cum for me, Gaz.” Once she picked up her pace and jerked him off, OH he saw the gate to heaven, had tea with an angel and got sent back to earth💀

They breathe heavily. He can't feel his legs at all, and he can't form an actual thought. Sweetheart puts her hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "Breathe deep, Gaz. Breathe... There you go, that's my baby boy." They both sigh and she kisses his temple. "You did such a good job, Gaz. Such a good boy for me."

AND THE AFTER CARE OMFGGG (YK THATS ON POINT)

She would hold him close to her chest, their breathing finally in sync as Gaz calms down from his orgasm. He's still moaning and mewling, feeling the pleasure in his veins. Sweetheart looks down at him and sighs with a smile. "You okay baby?" She asks him.

He's still kinda out of it, but her voice brings him back to reality. "Mhgm... M'good. M'so good, mommy..." She giggles at his drunken words and kisses his neck. "That's good to hear. I'm gonna pull it out, okay?" He nods his head. She grips under his knees and slowly pulls him up, Gaz whimpering at the emptiness of his puckering hole. She pecks his cheek and lays him down. "Stay here. I'll be right back."

He breathes out, feeling sticky and hot. He groans out and puts his hands over his eyes. He can NOT believe that just happened. HE JUST FUCKED HIMSELF NUMB?? AND SWEETHEART FUCKED HIM DUMB?? AND SHE'S GOOD AT IT??? How in the hell can he do this but not TELL HER HOW HE FEELS OMFG

She comes back from the bathroom in a white towel. Gaz chokes, seeing the black intricate designs on her arms, connecting to the ones on her collarbone and traveling to her back. He can see black ink on her ankles and some poking out on her hips. She chuckles, "You've never seen my other tattoos, have you?" He shakes his head slowly, like he's in a trance. "I've only... Seen your womb one..." Sweetheart snorts, walking towards him. "Well, you're about to see a bit more."

She scoops him up in her arms, bridal style. Gaz gasps and instinctively wraps his arms around Sweetheart's neck, now secure and being delivered to the bathroom.

Gaz sees that there's a bubble bath ready for the both of them. She sets him down inside, the warm water helping his aching limbs. He sees her towel fly off, looks up, but her fingers snap, and his head immediately whips to the bubbles. "Good boy." She says. (Gaz's mind:FFFUUUUU--)

She slips in behind him and sighs of relief. Gaz clears his throat. "This is uh... it's a pretty tight fit." His shoulder up and caved with his legs half way bent. "Do you want me to get out?" Sweetheart asks. "No!" She chuckles at his quick answer. She leans in, making him gasp as he can feel her hard nipples on his back. And... something else. Metal? Her arms wrap around him while her head rests on his shoulder. "Good. Don't wanna get out yet." She mumbles.

God-- Gaz feels so small with her. Like a shy little man and a giant Amazonian goddess. He can feel his cheeks get hot. Taking one of her hands in his, he lifts it up, eyeing her sleeve tattoo like a kid in an aquarium. He studies it while she watches him. "Y'like it?" She mumbles in his ear that sends shivers down his spine. He nods, his other hand tracing the patterns. "Where did you get it done?" He asks in a low tone, like they're both in a secret place that they're not supposed to be in.

"Back at home. For my 20th birthday. I got this whole piece done for my 20th, actually." She raises her other arm up to show him, his hands going over the different textured skin. "Did you... get tattoos to cover these scars?" When he asked that question, it's like all the sound in the world stopped. He felt like coal dropped in his stomach when she was silent. He was going to speak, to apologize, but she interlocked her hands with his. "I did. There are many tattoos on my body because I didn't want to see my mistakes anymore. So I covered them up."

He breathes out. Thank God she's not mad. But just to be sure-- "And don't you dare apologize." She smiles on his skin, nibbling his neck. He snickers, feeling her kisses all over.

"Wow." She chortles, "Never noticed how small your hands are to mine." He hums, seeing the difference too. (It shouldn't turn him on but wow there he is turned on)

She opens her hands and so does he. The size difference goes crazy 💀 Sweetheart's hand is an inch bigger than his. She laughs, now leaning back on the tub. "You're so small."

Gaz scoffs, turning to her with a frown. "I am not small! You're just really--"

His eyes fall to her chest. He didn't mean to, it just happened. But he looks at her left breast.

And he sees it.

And he sees it.

"You... you have a nipple piercing."

"Huh?" Sweetheart looks down. "Oh shit, I forgot I had that on. But yeah, I do. Just the one, though. Hurt like a bitch, so I just stopped at this." She explains. Gaz can feel him getting hard again. The sparkly, rose gold heart ring shield around her dark nipple was fucking calling out to him.

He frowns. "But I never... see it." Sweetheart's eyes widen a bit but turns to amusement. "You lookin' at my tits often, Gaz?" She says. Gaz snaps his head up, like he's seen a ghost. She leans in, their lips almost touching. She coos, eyes dangerously low and lips grinning. "Didn't know you were the perverted type."

Someone kill him now. He shakes his head violently. "Oh god no! No no no no I was just--" Now he was stammering, trying to find the right words to say to not sound like a creep. But Sweetheart bellows.

"Chill, baby! I was just messin' with ya." She winks at him, and Gaz just wants to curl up in a ball. "But I remove it when I go out so I can wear a bra. Sometimes, I honestly forget about it. 'Specially when we're on a mission or I'm training. And I don't think piercings are allowed on base... so I dont really wear it alot." Gaz nods. That makes alot of sense. She covers her mouth and looks away, mumbling something under her breath.

"And I also don't want Krueger startin' nothin'..." He frowns. "Huh?" Sweetheart looks at him and waves him off. "Nothin' , nothin'."

She huffs, staring at Gaz for what felt like hours. But he didn't move, as he stared right back. Heart beating quick for her next move.

Her hand moves under her left breast and lifts it with a smug grin. "Wanna take a closer look?"

That triggered another three rounds of milking and nipple sucking 💀 (which Sweetheart is now HEAVILY into)

After all that, they both cleaned themselves, and Sweetheart dried him off (because he couldn't feel his legs AGAIN) she carried him and plopped him on her desk chair. He huffs out a laugh. "I feel like a princess, being carried and pampered like this." BECAUSE YOU ARE BABY

She snorts and rolls her eyes, putting on some clothes and gathering the bed sheets. "Wear whatever I have. There's some men's underwear in the bottom drawer." She explains. Gaz quirks an eyebrow. "Why do you have men's underwear?" She shrugs, hands full with bed sheets and a comforter. "For emergencies." And then walks out to the washing machine.

Gaz chuckles, shaking his head as he opens her drawers. Some with bras, some with her underwear (it's in the second drawer, he remembers) and he found one with shirts. He grabs a cream colored sweater and unfolds it, seeing how big it actually is. "Jesus... I'll surely act like a 'girl after doing the deed' with this on." He contemplates if he wants to wear it. (He does)

He puts on some black men's underwear, which surprisingly fits him (bit tight around his thighs) he throws the sweater on and looks in her floor mirror. The sweater covers his underwear completely, and the sleeves are big and long, covering most of his fingers. The collar is wide, showing off his branded neck with many hickies. Sweetheart's hickies. He purses his lips.

"Yeah, I definitely looked like I've been fucked."

"Because you have been, silly."

He turns to the door and sees Sweetheart with new sheets and comforters. Gaz blinks. "That was fast." Sweetheart hums, closing the door with her hip. "I found new sheets in the storage. I'll clean the other ones tomorrow. Right now, I'm tired as shit." She makes the bed with ease as Gaz stands there, trying not to fall with his shaky legs. (Yall he was WORKED in that bath tub)

She dusts off her hands as her head turns to Gaz. She freezes, eyeing him up and down. Gaz feels like a piece of meat under her hungry eyes. He doesn't mind being eaten by her 🤭🤭

She smirks, plopping down on the bed. "I like my clothes on ya."

He grins, arms wide out to show how big the sweater is on him. "I'm like a smurf compared to you." He jokes. Sweetheart laughs, collecting him with her arms circling his waist and his hands rest on her broad shoulders. "But it makes ya look real cute, Gaz." She says with another smirk. (Jeez, she's on one today-- freaking teasing and bold as shit)

He could feel his cheeks getting hot. "Kyle." He murmurs, sitting on her thigh. He has a tingly feeling when he bends his legs, but nothing he can't handle. She looks at him with confused eyes.

"You took my ability to walk, so I think you could also call me by my actual name." He explains. She smiles at him, making his heart speed up. That smile could stop wars.

"Alright then, Kyle." Once she said that, her eyes sparkled. "Kyle." She hums, kissing his neck. "Kyle... Mister Kyle Garrick!" She covers him in quick kisses, making him giggle and filled with warmth. She laughs and holds him tight when she flops on the clean bed. "Kyle. I love saying your name." She whispers, fingers tracing his face. God DAMN she has his heart. His everything. Just- take him. Take all of him. So he can end this longing.

"And I--" Gaz reaches up to her face, thumb tracing her bottom lip.

Say it.

"I love..." His eyes flicker to hers, dark irises studying each other.

Say it. Fucking say it.

I love you. I love you and I want to be yours.

Say. It.

"Love... what you did... for me today. Thank you." ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW

She giggles, pulling him into her more, his head against her chest. "Of course, baby. It was an absolute pleasure... pleasuring you." They both quietly laugh, the warm relaxation molding them together. Her nails rake the nape of his neck, sending shivers down Kyle's spine. He sighs, wrapping his arms around her chest and leg around her waist. "Goodnight, mommy."

Sweetheart croons, hand rubbing his back. "Goodnight, Kyle." She mumbles into his hair as she kisses it.

"My good boy."

Lil Bonus.!

When I tell you... that EVERYONE. WAS P I S S E D. Except for Price, because his room is pretty far, so he can't hear all the way to Sweetheart's room. BUT THE REST OF THEM??? WTF they wanted to strangle Gaz istg

Hearing the bed creak and Gaz's loud, whiny moans thru the walls was PAIN. And hearing Sweetheart's low grunts and praises to him? Torture. Bitch it was torture. And you know DAMN WELL that Soap, Roach, and Horangi jerked off from hearing them. Ghost, König, and Alex were too fucking pissed to do anything, even sleeping wasn't an option. (They still had raging hard ons tho) Roach hearing Gaz call her mommy-- AND SHE LIKED IT-- he came so hard he had to muffle his cry with a pillow. Soap now knowing that Gaz is the one getting fucked?? And is enjoying it??? Nosebleed. He got a nosebleed and had to stop masturbating to clean it up💀 Horangi overstimulated himself. Ear up on the wall so he could hear everything that was going on, and his overworked cock spurting out more cum on the wall. There's a thick puddle of cum on the floor as well because he's not stopping. Alex is just pissed that he's not watching them (he likes to watch fucking cuck) and Ghost is just so damn salty and judging everything that's going on in that room ("his moans are so bitchy. Bitch boy. Fucking bottom ass fucker. Taking it up the ass. I could do way better than him taking it up the ass..... wait--")

König was just... listening. Just laying in his bed, looking up at the ceiling with a throbbing, dribbling cock, and just listening to them. (WEIRDO)

Next morning, Soap and Ghost were such BITCHES OMFG Soap was so pouty and had such attitude, and Ghost was so DRAMATIC (THEY'RE BOTH BRATS YOUR HONOR)

Okay that's it, bye LOL

THANKS FOR READING HAVE A GOOD DAY 🙏 LIKE COMMENT SHARE AND SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE (I just youtube'd yo ass 🤭)

[shuttershocky]

Penny for your thoughts about this thread? Just wanna hear some more opinions from people who work in the industry.

I don't want to fucking talk about pricing and monetization and markets and how F2P live service titles have warped the industry beyond recognition anymore.

The insights look good (of course they look good, this guy literally worked with Square Enix) I just can't fucking take it anymore I know what he says before I even finish reading the tweets and it's reminding me of how I started getting into learning game development in 2010-2011? (I don't remember anymore it's been that long) and EVERY SINGLE TALK AND MEETUP AND LECTURE WAS ABOUT MONETIZATION (to be fair, my local industry was a small one that could only really support mobile back then)

I watched all of this happen. I saw how the mobile industry's designs slowly bled out of mobile and into the AAA industry, warping it forever. I was in college when I first learned what minnows, dolphins, and whales were and why your games ought to be fishing for whales. I watched Team Fortress 2 go from a premium game you got all the content at the start to introducing lootboxes (they popularized that shit outside the gacha sphere btw, people blame Overwatch, but TF2 started that trend) to going F2P. I've been an active Dota player since 2012, meaning I was there when the concept of Battlepasses were first birthed into the world during 2013's The International 3 and which made other companies realize live service titles could gain yet another psychological hold on people to add on to World of Warcraft's skinner boxes.

"We are seeing standard singleplayer games no longer able to gain new audiences as they are crowded out by increasingly growing live service titles like Fortnite" "Why would someone spend 60 dollars to play FF16 for 100 hours when they could continue playing Fortnite and Minecraft and Roblox for free where all their friends are"

I have seen all of this before I remember when Overwatch first came out in 2016 a peculiar statistic was that almost every popular title at the time saw their playerbase drop as everyone moved to Overwatch, EXCEPT for Dota 2's because of how hard Valve had captured their audience to the point where they would not play other games. Of fucking course everyone else learned that was actually an incredibly efficient way to make money forever and they should do that too (except Dota was free and had all characters and all game mdoes unlocked for free, but these other games would now ask you for 60 dollars to play as 4 guys with a 100 hr grind for the rest)

I might feel a little unhinged right now because I have worked for two weekends straight and it's a Sunday night (EDIT - put it in drafts and it is now Monday and I am at work) and I'm still at work working on video games and tomorrow will be Monday and another work week working on video games where if we don't sell our upcoming titles my job is toast but fuuuuuuccckkk dude I just wanted to help make things that people would find fun

Capitalism and corporate greed (but I repeat myself) has twisted an industry that was already shitty in the 90s to be something hideous and completely hostile to the idea of creatives being able to make games that are meant to be played, finished, and remembered fondly and even wholly single player one and done experiences like Insomniac's Spider-Man games need to fill themselves up with checklists or else their audience will claim they got ripped off because the time they spent on it was simply not worth the money which STILL happened with Spider-Man 2 anyway

I'm not against live service games as a concept I love seeing a title like Dota get constant support since 2011 (or 2003ish if you want to count the original WC3 mod) and witness it grow and evolve with the times but I hate how it's become increasingly difficult for other games to exist.

I don't actually have a point to make here I'm just rambling. FF7Rebirth was fucking great though (and I hated FF7Remake as a game) so I hope it actually makes its sales target eventually so it doesn't scare Square into adding even more bullshit filler or worse into the 3rd game. I need to play Vincent Valentine with Rebirth's combat system. it's not a want, but a need. A thirst even.

[mountkennedie]

Twists

Anakin x black!reader

*you're from Naboo because I love Naboo*

Summary: As a senator you must look your best, meaning every now and then you need to re-twists your twists but before then, they need to be cleaned.

Warnings: none

A.N. I know it's unrealistic to be completely without help but like this is fanfiction, so work with me here

this has been cooking in my drafts for 2 years :3

______________________________________

You had horribly planned this out. Being a senator, you of all people should be perfectly aware of your schedule. And yet, here you are, you need to redo your hair, and your maidens were on vacation. You knew how much they had deserved it, so you insisted they go. They persisted with the reminders to you about their duties, but you pushed right back. And now you sit on a stool in your bathroom, unraveling each set of hair.

It really wasn't unbearable. You knew what you were doing since you did it in the past. However, with the lack of help from your maidens, it was much more time-consuming. Your arms began to burn due to the consistent labor, but you were only halfway done.

Around an hour later, you heard a knock on your door. The clock on the wall read 1:15pm, and the reminder of meeting Anakin for lunch was recalled to you. You swore at yourself and got up. Luckily, by this time, you had finished taking apart all the small twists and were just preparing to wash.

You stood from your seat and stretched. You attempted to make your hair look a bit more presentable before heading over to the door. You sighed and opened just a crack to see Anakin looking at you expectantly. "Ready for our meal?" He asked you.

"About that, um," he slightly furrowed his brows, "I am not ready." You had kept the door mostly shut except for a sliver. Aside from your hair being visibly dirty, you were not properly dressed either. You had decided to stay in your sleepwear due to its comfort.

"Is that why you hide from me?"

"Yes..?" You trailed off into a question. He had never seen you in this 'state' before. Always pristine and put together.

"Well, that is perfectly fine," he smiled, "take all the time you need to prepare."

"No, Anakin, it's not like that it's more." You tried to think of a good way to respond, but your mind was blank. "Just come in, and I'll show you."

His face was one full of concern as he approached again. Upon you opening the door fully, his eyes scanned over you, looking for any possible problems or injuries. When he ruled out that you were fine, he smiled gently, "I like your hair."

"Thank you, but it's very dirty. That's why I have to delay our lunch. I apologize. It slipped my mind how long this process would take. Usually, my maidens are here to help, but they are on a well-earned vacation."

He listened to your small ramble and nodded in understanding. "So you would like assistance, I'm guessing?"

"You don't have to, if you don't want to. It won't take long, I just have to wash it and then twist it."

"Do you want me to help you wash it?" His voice was soft, no sourness could be heard. And you were listening for it.

"No, I can do that."

He stood there thinking for a moment. He must have gotten an idea due to the smile spreading over his face. "I will be only a few moments."

~

With the time he gave you, you decided to get your hair out of the way. You were walking around your apartment with your hair up in a towel as you got your stuff together. You heard a knock on your door again and let Anakin in. He carried a bag in his hands. It took a moment for you to realize what was inside.

"Take out..?" You looked up at him with a bright smile.

"Your favorite, my love," he matched your expression. You reached up to his face and pulled his lips to yours. You thanked him and then took the bag out of his hand.

You placed it on the counter and opened it. The aroma filled the space, and you thanked him again. You both got situated at the kitchen table, and you took off your towel. "Show me how you want it done, and I will oblige," he told you.

You showed him a tutorial of you doing a few twists. You had him try it out, and to be completely honest... they needed help. But that does not mean he did not eventually get the hang of it. You both worked and ate at a good pace. It still wasn't as fast as getting your hair done by many maidens, but this was still better.

~

"You are a fast learner, Ani," you smiled at your reflection. Your food containers were empty, and you both were thoroughly exhausted. He made eye contact with you in the mirror and then leaned down and pressed to your forehead.

[sensitively-taken]

what's with your kisses? — park sunghoon

synopsis. Park Sunghoon has never had much time or even a slight care for dating, romance, love, or anything of that sort. so, when you kiss him at a rowdy party one night, as his first kiss ever, he’s surprised to find that he wants more. what he thought was going to be a one-time thing, he finds evolving into something he never wants to end—even if you two aren’t meant to be more than a summer fling.

pairing. park sunghoon x gender-neutral!reader ft. jake sim

genres. fluff, strangers to lovers au, summer (fling) au

warnings. underage drinking & all that implies! please let me know if i've missed any :)

word count. 10.7k (10737)

taglist. @soobin-chois @my5colors @kflixnet @jaeyunverse @heejojo @tbzloonar @odxrilove @aizzon

listen to! strangers, sigrid ⭑ i'll be down, talia goddess ⭑ lovestained, hope tala ⭑ yuck, charli xcx ⭑ feature me, flo ⭑ summer's over, tv girl ft. jordana ⭑ yellow cab, dpr live (click on the listen to for the spotify playlist, which i recommend listening to unshuffled)

notes. ermmm..... after more than a year and (almost) radio silence on this blog, here she is!! i'm rlly sorry ab how long it took for me to post this (esp when it was sitting in my drafts for a whole year..) 😭😭 but SHE'S HERE and that's all that matters!! since this was originally an entry for @/prettywon's soul symphonies collab, this song is based on yellow cab by dpr live, as you can probably tell by the title & playlist. i was rlly trying to reflect that boyish infatuation he's singing ab so if u cringe a bit i understand 😪 i did too tysm lola @ijhyo for beta reading this for me! (pls pardon me for tagging u a few hours late 🙏🏾) but enough rambling from me!! enjoy! ❤️

I – K is for Kiss

There was no such thing as the perfect first kiss.

Park Sunghoon, a nineteen-year-old boy who’d never been kissed, had accepted this fact long ago. A lucky few got to have their first kiss with their first love or a longtime crush, while a lot more people had embarrassing stories they’d share on drunken nights. He knew a first kiss wasn’t something out of a fairytale. But, he felt that, at the very least, he should have an adequate first kiss–preferably with someone he had some sort of feelings for.

So, he’d never predicted that he’d end up losing his lip virginity to a stranger at the summer party his best friend, Jake, was throwing.

Or that he’d like it. (Sunghoon wasn’t sure he could even admit that.)

He could admit this though: you were a good kisser. A very, very good kisser–at least, according to his standards. Even he–the nineteen-year-old who’d never even held hands with someone, let alone kissed someone–was able to realise you’d done this a dozen times before when you cupped his cheek–not aggressively, but softly, gently–whispered the question in his ear, and pulled him into a chaste, soft kiss as soon as he’d nodded awkwardly.

Then, moving your hand from his cheek to his neck and smirking slightly, you deepened the kiss.

That’s when he started wondering why he’d never done this before.

You didn’t move too fast, or too slow. It was almost like you knew exactly what he was thinking, what he was feeling, because the second it would start feeling a bit too much for him and his head would start swimming, you would pull back and rest your forehead against his. But, when he started missing the feel of your lips on his, your eyes would flicker to his, the question on the tip of your tongue, and lean in again.

He would never say it out loud, not to you or anyone else, but he was glad you’d taken the lead. Because with the way his hands were trembling to wrap themselves around your waist, and how he’d avoid your gaze every time you pulled back, he wasn’t so sure you two would’ve even been here if you’d left the initiating to him.

All of a sudden, you pulled back–the first time you didn’t do what he wanted–and Sunghoon chased your lips for a bit, cheeks reddening when he realised you weren’t leaning back in.

He stepped back, which was hard to do in a cramped shed but he managed and cleared his throat. Suddenly, he was very interested in inspecting the design of said shed. “Um… is something wrong? Did I, I don’t know, did I do something wrong?”

“No,” you smiled coyly and licked your lips (Sunghoon’s eyes may have flickered back up in time to catch the moment and linger on it), “the seven minutes are up.”

Oh. Right. That–a very silly round of seven minutes in heaven–was how he’d got here. Stuck in a shed. Kissing a complete, random stranger. Y’know, the daily, run-of-the-mill stuff for Sunghoon.

He nodded slowly, flicking away the few dark hairs that fell in front of his eyes. “Right, right. After you.”

“After you?” You laughed, a warm sound he found himself melting to (on the inside. On the outside, he was biting his lip so hard he could taste your chapstick on his tongue), “This whole time you haven’t done anything, but now you want to be a gentleman?”

His face reddened and he crossed his arms over his chest. “No one said gentlemen have to be good at kissing!”

“You do have a point, kind sir.” He rolled his eyes at your jab. “I’d just think it’d be much more gentlemanly of you to look me in the eyes, instead of, dunno, glaring at my lips.”

At this rate, Sunghoon was sure someone’s face couldn’t be as red as his was.

He made a point to look into your eyes for a good ten seconds, breath held, before looking at his flip flops and murmuring, “I wasn’t glaring… I think. Like, I’m not mad at your lips or anything.”

You laughed again, a deeper sound he was sure came from the depths of your heart, and with a small grin on his face, Sunghoon decided he liked the sound.

“I wasn’t saying you were mad.” You stepped closer to him and Sunghoon’s breath hitched. You reached out to him, and for a second Sunghoon thought you were going to cup his face and kiss him again–he wanted you to–but then you reached up and smoothed his eyebrows and the space between them. “Just relax these big boys a bit. They can get a day off glaring, don’t you think, cutie?”

You didn’t wait for a reply. Instead, you smiled and reached behind Sunghoon for the shed door, stepping out to hear a chorus of cheers from some other partygoers and leaving the boy dumbfounded and red.

It was only when Sunghoon moved to leave the shed that he realised he’d never caught your name.

II – I is for Infatuation

Sunghoon was not thinking about the kiss. Well. Kisses.

At least, that was what he toldhimself.

But, ever since he’d woken up at Jake’s place the morning after, with a head so heavy he wasn’t sure he could even lift it, it was the only thing on his mind.

First thing in the morning, when he couldn’t even remember what his name was, he thought about it. Late at night, hours past when he’d told himself he’d go to sleep, he thought about it. Even in his dreams, he couldn’t get the thought of you and your stupid lips out of his head. (Jake had called him obsessed, but he preferred to think of it as a little infatuation.)

He was sure he was going insane when he saw someone perusing the chapstick section in the grocery store and immediately thought of you, only for him to find out it was you when your hands landed on the same pack.

Sunghoon drew his hand back like he was stung, while you simply took the balm and murmured an apology without sparing him a glance.

He wasn’t sure whether to breathe a sigh of relief or disappointment. On one hand, it was you–the only person in the entire world who’d kissed Park Sunghoon on his very chapped, very dry lips (which was the reason he told himself he was in the lip balm section in the first place and not because he couldn’t get your lips out of his head). On the other hand, it was you–the only person in the entire world who’d kissed Park Sunghoon on his very chapped, very dry lips.

Sunghoon didn’t have much time to think about it though, because you suddenly looked back and raised your eyebrows at him.

He bit his lip in anticipation of what you were going to say, but he could’ve never imagined you’d say, “Nice jammies, cutie.”

Sunghoon was beginning to think you had a thing for embarrassing him, as his cheeks turned the shade of some of the chapsticks on display. He rubbed at the nape of his neck, murmuring, “Thanks, my grandma crocheted them for me.”

“Really?” Your eyes shone with actual interest, and Sunghoon’s blush spread across his cheeks. “Do you think you could send me her number or something? I’ve been trying to get the hang of crocheting recently, but it’s just not been working.”

“I would, totally, a hundred percent, but I don’t have your number yet, so…” He went silent, as he realised what he’d said and your eyebrows climbed further up your head.

Sunghoon wished the ground would open up. Pronto.

“Wow, cutie, I have to say, I’m kinda impressed.” You stretched out your hand, which made Sunghoon’s brows furrow, until you gestured for the phone in his pyjama pocket. “I never thought you’d be the type of gentleman to muster up the balls to ask for my number, but here we are.”

He groaned as he passed you his phone, a slight flush to his face. “Could we not rehash the whole gentleman bit? That was kinda embarrassing for me.”

“What?” You grinned, eyes flickering between his phone screen and him. “Do you mean the part where you didn’t know how to kiss back or the part where you stared at my lips the whole time after, cutie?”

If Sunghoon wasn’t sure before, he definitely was now. You had a thing for embarrassing him–and calling him cutie. He’d never admit it, but he was finding that he didn’t really seem to mind either.

He avoided your gaze and toyed with the hem of his sweater, the ghost of a smile on his lips. “Um, both?”

“’ Kay, got it.” You passed his phone back to him and watched him redden at what you’d saved yourself as.

“Couldn’t your name have sufficed? Why did you—” he groaned and buried his face behind his hands, his voice coming through as muffled— “Why did you have to save yourself as ‘seven minutes hottie?’ Isn’t that too conceited of you... and corny?”

You shrugged. “It’s not wrong, is it?”

Even though you couldn’t see his face redden, he figured you’d imagined it as you let out a small snort. “What? Are you gonna tell me I’m not hot?”

“... No,” came his reluctant reply, as he finally removed his hands from his face and went to change your contact name to your actual name, only to remember he’d never got it. “Ah, wait, what’s your name?”

“My name?” You hummed quietly, like you were considering something, and Sunghoon felt a certain type of anticipation grow in his stomach. “If I tell you my name, do I get a kiss, cutie?”

He scoffed, though he could still feel some blood rush to his cheeks. You were really something. “I thought you said I was a bad kisser.”

“Uh-uh,” you corrected, leaning in slowly, “I said you don’t know how to kiss. But, once you do, well… who knows?”

For the second time in a week, Sunghoon felt the distance between you two close and desperately wished you were going to kiss him. Yes, he was in a grocery store and yes, anyone could walk past at any moment, but when you leaned in so close to him–with your soft lips pursed and your eyes staring into his soul–he couldn’t help but fall victim to the pull you had on him. He was weak–so weak–to you.

But, just like before, you didn’t.

You simply brushed his bed hair out of his face and snorted a bit at his spaced-out expression, before stepping back into a space where Sunghoon could finally breathe and think of something else other than your lips on his.

“Yeah,” he murmured, so low that you had to lean back in to hear him.

Sunghoon had always thought of himself as a reasonable, patient person. He knew if he wanted quality things in his life, he’d have to get used to waiting often–at least, that’s what his parents had taught him. But, every time you came into his orbit, his usually thick line of patience wore thin with a simple glance or smile from you.

What were you doing to him?

“Sorry,” your tongue flicked back over your lips, “what was that?”

His line snapped.

“Yeah, you do get a kiss.”

And the words were gone before he could take them back. But, blood rushing in his ears and heart pounding out of his chest, Sunghoon found he didn’t want to take them back–even though, in the back of his mind, part of him was blushing and squirming at his wording.

“Oh?” you said, looking straight into his eyes–unwavering, for once. A certain tension filled the air, as you two stared at each other for a moment, the night of the party probably replaying in both your heads. Careful not to disturb the atmosphere between you two, you whispered, “_____. My name’s _____.”

The tension wasn’t cut, but simply deflated like a balloon as Sunghoon let out a long breath, cheeks painted a dark red, and asked, “But not here, right? I’m not saying we’re doing anything too scandalous, but my mum’s good friends with the manager here, so… Yeah. I kinda, um–maybe I, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.”

There was a moment of silence, as you stared incredulously at the blushing boy, before you burst out into full-fledged laughter. You hugged your sides a bit and smiled so wide that any passerby would’ve thought Sunghoon was a comedic genius.

Before he could get the wrong idea, you cupped Sunghoon’s face and said, “You’re just too cute, cutie.”

And he smiled a little, slowly as his eyes traced your face, his brows finally relaxed.

You wiped an imaginary tear from your eye, sobering up, and asked, “So. Where's your car?”

III – S is for Scrapbook

You and Sunghoon had ended up kissing in his car.

When he’d told Jake about it later, he’d said you guys had made out–to embarrass Sunghoon, he assumed–but the kisses had been soft and chaste, where you’d been more focused on getting Sunghoon to reciprocate than just kissing him. He had, albeit slowly, and by the time he’d dropped you off at your house, he was able to proudly say that he had initiated a kiss between you two.

It had built his confidence incredibly, being able to say that he’d kissed you and not the other way around–not that he was saying it to anyone, besides Jake really–so much so that he’d texted you just a few minutes after he’d gotten home. He’d panicked then, wondering if you’d think it weird he’d texted you so quickly, but you’d responded just as fast that his nerves had calmed and he’d found himself laughing at your texts.

While talking to you face to face was something he didn’t think he’d ever get used to, texting you was something he could do with ease–well, somewhat.

In the late afternoons, when he woke up with messy bed hair and mucus still in his eyes, he’d check his phone to see if you’d sent anything–which you almost always had. Whether it was a quick picture of something you'd seen on a walk, your poor attempts at making breakfast, or even just a morning selfie.

On some days, he’d feel too flustered and musty to send anything in return–Like, what if you realised he was wearing the same shirt he’d sent a picture in yesterday?—and on others, he had to shut off his phone to take deep breaths after sending something as simple as him brushing his teeth.

Okay, so he was still struggling to talk to you, but at least he didn’t stutter over text and go red every few seconds.

With his awkwardness out of the way, he could actually learn things about you. Like your favourite colour, your favourite spots in town, and your hobbies. He even learned you liked to scrapbook and every summer, you’d make a scrapbook of all your highlights. Polaroids, film stills, movie tickets, coupons, and more would go into the scrapbook and at the end of summer, you’d post little snippets on it on your Instagram page. He’d told you it was cute and jokingly asked if he’d be featured in this summer’s scrapbook, to which you’d responded with ‘we’d have to go out for u to be included wouldnt we?’

Which is what led to this moment. He had thought you were joking about the whole going out thing because it’d been late at night and you two had just been talking about the trips you’d been going on with your families in the next couple of days, but then the next morning–that morning–you’d sent two tickets to a film showing that evening–this evening. Right now–and a short, little ‘wanna go see this? my scrapbook’s feeling a little hoon-less rn :(’.

Evidently, he hadn’t said no, because he was now parked outside your house, trying to calm himself down as he waited for you to come out.

His hands were sweating a bit, and he kept checking his reflection in his rearview mirror, anxiously biting his lower lip and running a hand through his hair. Surprisingly, it wasn’t even the fact that he was going to see you that was stressing him out, it was more the fact that he didn’t know what this was. Were you guys just going out to see a late-night movie as friends? Was it a date? Should he have shown up with flowers or a gift? Were you guys just friends? Were you something more? Did you always ask your friends to see movies late at night so impromptu? Did he even see you as more than a friend?

All the questions made his head swim and his palms sweat, but he couldn’t stop thinking about them. He hadn’t been thinking of this the few weeks you guys had been texting, but now he felt like a broken record, gaze bouncing between his reflection and your house.

And then all his thoughts slowed to a stop.

You walked out of your house with a slight smile and a twinkle in your eye, and his brain turned to mush. You looked… good. That was all he was capable of thinking, as you walked the short distance to his car, waving, and slid into the passenger seat.

Sunghoon stared at you for a second, as you put on your seatbelt and said hi, his mind completely blank. Then, your touch on his shoulder and a furrow between your brows brought him back to the present and he spat out a jumbled mess of, “Good, yeah, yeah. I’m good, you’re good, so good.”

It was your turn to stare, confusion clear in your eyes, and panic rose within him.

“Wait, I mean you look good!” he said, gesturing at you, “I mean, not that you don’t look good all the time, but, like, you look really good right now. Like, wow, I–I should stop talking.”

You blinked at him for a second and then laughed that same laugh that melted his insides. He noticed, as you threw your head back slightly, that you hadn’t removed your hand from his shoulder, and Sunghoon found himself relishing your touch.

“Stop it, cutie, you’re gonna make me blush,” you said playfully, rolling your eyes and hitting his chest lightly. You sobered up slightly, but the smile was still wide on your face as you said, “You look good, too. Very suave, very cool. I can’t lie though, I miss the bedhead and your grandma’s sweater a bit.”

With your easy words lightening the mood, he found himself relaxing a bit–enough to pull away from the curb and start driving. “Really? Maybe I’ll wear it next time.”

You didn’t blink at his mention of a next time, though Sunghoon searched your face for any sign of discomfort or surprise. Instead, your smile grew slightly and you asked, “What type of date are you thinking? Like, an early morning IHOP or Waffle House thing? Or, more of an early-morning pancake date at home?”

If it weren’t for the fact that he’d stopped at a red light, Sunghoon was sure he would’ve crashed his car right at that moment. He gulped loudly and spared your expectant eyes a glance, as he could feel his blood rush in his ears and hear his heart pound out of his chest.

The light turned green and he cleared his throat. “Uh, so, does that mean this is a date?”

He was glad he couldn’t see your reaction to his question–you probably thought he was silly–but was also nervous because you went quiet for a  bit. Sunghoon considered turning on the radio and moving on from the topic, if that could dispel the momentary awkwardness between you two, but he wanted to hear your answer.

You laughed slightly, but he could hear the nervous undertones. “Do you not want it to be one? I’m sorry, I just assumed because, well, we kissed at the party and we’ve been talking and stuff since then, so… I thought you were more of a dating type of guy, but–”

“Wait, what?” he interrupted, a crease in his forehead as he spared you a glance. Something within him shattered at the sight of the uncertainty on your face. Had he done that? “What other type of guy would I be?”

“Well, you know…” You paused, shifting slightly in your seat. “There are some guys that just wanna have fun. Mess around, you know? I didn’t think you were one of those guys, but if that’s what you wanna do, then–”

“No,” he said fiercely, only realising how angry he sounded when you glanced at him in surprise. “I want to date you. I really do. I just… I thought you didn’t and I didn’t know if we were just friends, and I’ve never done this before so, I just–”

“You’ve never done this before?” you cut him off, visible shock in your eyes. “There’s no way, Hoon. You’re joking, right?”

And with that, the awkwardness dissipated, as his cheeks flamed and he avoided your wide eyes.

“I know, it’s weird–”

“No, no!” You smiled a bit at his flustered state. “It’s not weird. I’ve only dated once before and, even then, it wasn’t that serious, so we’re kind of in the same boat.”

It was his turn to glance at you with incredulous eyes. “Wait, really? I thought you had so much dating experience cause, like, you’re such a good kisser and you’re so confident and forward, y’know?”

You shrugged. “Like I said, some guys just wanna mess around. Sometimes, I do too.”

“And that’s not what you want with me, right? You actually want to date, right?” You’d already told him you considered this a date, and he’d already told you he wanted to date you–which you hadn’t objected to–but he just had to make sure that was real, and his mind hadn’t made that up.

“Yeah, Hoon,” you started softly, a shy smile on your lips–something he thought he’d never see on you.  “I actually want to date you.”

Immediately, his eyes flickered back to the road and his cheeks flushed, a wide grin slowly stretching on his lips. You laughed at his smile, loud and warm, and he closed his eyes in bliss and only opened them again to smile at you.

“So, this is a date? For sure?” he asked, one hand on the wheel and the other on the console as he flickered through the channels for a song.

“Mhm,” you hummed, your hand brushing his as you turned up the volume on a specific channel, smiling at the way his flush deepened. You held his hand, intertwining your fingers with his, and nodded. “This is a date.”

Sunghoon couldn’t even remember why he’d been so nervous, and why his palms–one of which was currently touching yours–had been so sweaty, as he gazed into your eyes and leaned in for a chaste kiss. He smiled into it and rolled his eyes to himself, all of his questions answered. Especially the one he’d been too worried to even ask himself.

If he’d had any doubt about it before, he was sure of it now.

He liked you. Maybe even too much for a summer fling.

IV – S is for Sorry

Over the next few days, Sunghoon found himself wishing you guys were more than just a summer fling.

It was wistful thinking, he knew that already. Just a few months prior, you guys hadn’t even been aware of the other's existence. Now, to him, it felt like you took up every inch of his thoughts, dreams, and being. And, in just a couple of weeks, you’d be off to your respective universities, leaving the short fling between you just that–a short, summer fling.

You two were avoiding talking about it, despite the palpable tension it added to your conversations when you brought up the future. You would mention how you were going to look into photography courses at your uni on a video call and Sunghoon would smile outwardly, while inwardly he’d wonder if you’d find someone else to call your muse–as he’d gotten used to you calling him.

He would mention how he was going to do a double major since he wasn’t completely sure what he wanted to do, and he’d notice the way you’d bite your lip like you were stopping yourself from asking him where. And, just now, moments ago on your video call, you had mentioned how you wanted to go on another date with him after you both got back from your hometowns, but before… (well, you hadn’t continued but he knew you meant before you two had to part.)

He knew you two were only prolonging your pain, and he was only wounding himself deeper by thinking so wistfully, but you two were happy at this exact moment. And, it wasn’t enough, but he’d make it be enough if that was what you two needed.

At least, that’s what he’d been thinking till his sister barged into his childhood room and said his grandma wanted to see him.

Now, legs tucked under himself and head lowered, Sunghoon sat opposite her, with a long table between them, and a tense silence filled the room.

He wasn’t sure what his grandma “seeing him” meant. She wasn’t very old, just in her early sixties, but she was a calm, wise woman who’d lived to see and experience a lot, so she may as well have had the wisdom of someone a century old. If she wanted to “see him,” that most likely meant she had a piece of advice for him that he wouldn’t like.

For once, he was right.

“So, your mum told me you’ve been seeing someone?”

Sunghoon coughed abruptly, patting his chest as a deep flush flooded his cheeks. “I’m sorry?”

“Sorry?” Sunghoon’s grandma scoffed and eyed him slowly. “What are you sorry for? Not calling to consult me first? Or, for trying to hide it from me? Or, is there something else, hm?”

He raised his eyes to meet his grandma’s eyes, but immediately lowered them at the fierce scowl on her face. He bowed deeply, palms flat before him. “I’m sorry, Grandma.”

She eyed his form for a second, before scoffing again and gesturing toward him. “Sit, sit. I didn’t call you here to hear you apologise all day.”

Sunghoon sat again and raised his head but still didn’t look his grandma in the eye. His mind was too preoccupied with wondering how his mum had figured it out, considering you guys had gone on your first date just a couple of days ago.

He jolted a bit when his grandma asked, “You’re not going to ask me why I called you?”

“Sorry,” he began and cleared his throat at his grandma’s glare.  “Why did you call me, Grandma?”

She continued eyeing him with the same, wary gaze she’d been eyeing him with since he’d entered her room for a few moments, before she suddenly became sombre. Without the glint in her eyes, Sunghoon could see how deep the pools in her eyes were and the lines surrounding them. He released a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

“Well, what’s your plan? Hm?” Her eyes bore deep into his like her question was just a formality and she already knew the answer. Sunghoon wouldn’t be surprised if she already did. “Are you two going to be a campus couple?”

He knew her question was mostly rhetorical, but he couldn’t help but imagine it. Walking you to and from lectures; studying together in a library or a cosy coffee shop; going to endless parties with you; proofreading each other’s papers; you wearing his clothes in his dorm. Sunghoon felt himself grow warm.

Then, even warmer as his grandma cleared her throat and raised a knowing brow in his direction. She didn’t have to say anything for him to realise she was expecting an answer.

“I…” He faltered for a moment, remembering the hesitancy in your eyes every time a hint of the topic was brought up. “I don’t know, Grandma. I… well, there’s nothing I can really do, I guess. We’re probably not even going to the same universities, so I don’t know what the plan is.”

“Have you guys talked about it?”

A pause settled between the two of them, as Sunghoon lowered his eyes again and prepared himself to bow again.

His grandma scoffed, the loudest of all her scoffs so far, and sighed exasperatedly. “You two haven’t even discussed anything? And you’re here talking like you’re some handsome lead in a drama and _____’s life will be in danger if you two continue dating?”

“Ah, Grandma, are you saying I’m not hands–Wait, wait? How do you know _____’s name?”

She paused slightly and carefully schooled her features. “Is that important right now?”

“I mean,” Sunghoon’s brows furrowed, then he remembered your touch against them and he relaxed them a bit, “considering that I’ve never told Mum _____’s name or even the fact that we’ve been on one date, yes? Kinda?”

“I’m your grandma, am I not?” was her only response, with the ghost of a smile on her lips. He grimaced slightly, but his grandma continued without any regard for his reaction. “I know you guys are kids, but you didn’t even think of discussing anything? You were just going to kiss and say ‘bye bye’ and continue with your lives?”

“I mean,” Sunghoon started, trying to fight the blush climbing up his body. There wasn’t any point, though, because the apples of his cheeks were already shining. “_____’s not even my partner or anything, so it isn’t my place…”

“But isn’t that the end goal?”

His grandma stared at him, but he couldn’t hold the weight of her stare. Because deep down inside, Sunghoon knew she was right. And he knew he wanted nothing more than to be able to be called yours.

To see more pictures of the scenery from your morning walks and even join you on them too. To cuddle up in bed and watch some of your favourite animes together, only pausing to snuggle further into the blanket. To finally go on that early morning date at a Waffle House, eating your orders in his car where his passenger seat would be perfectly adjusted to seat you. To have a home, a space, with you.

But, he thought. There was always a ‘but’.

Before, that ‘but’ had been that he wasn’t even sure if that was what you wanted as well, if he even really wanted it. Now, that ‘but’ was the inevitable space and distance that would grow between you two. The space that would grow so large that you two wouldn’t be able to have any space for each other.

Sunghoon’s stomach sank as his thoughts spiralled, but he summed them up to his grandma with a simple shrug.

“Why are you, why are you so dramatic?” she asked, rolling her eyes at her grandson’s face. A fierce scowl was back on her face and, if it weren’t for the table between the two of them, she looked like she was about ready to pull on Sunghoon’s ear. “Why are you sitting here in my house moping and frowning like everything’s decided? Who knows? Maybe _____ is willing to make it work, to even travel to another city just to see you and your dramatic self. But how would you know when you’re busy here moping?”

He’d considered it. Judging from the talks you’d had and the sheer amount of hours you talked every day, Sunghoon was sure that you liked him as well (not as much as he did, he was sure–that wasn’t even remotely possible when he could barely get you off his mind–but enough to deal with his “dramatic self,” as his grandma had put it). But, there it was again, he just couldn’t get rid of that ‘but.’ It was festering in the back of his mind whenever he even thought of bringing it up to you.

“Sunghoon.” There was a note of finality in his grandma’s voice as she said his name. “Discuss things with _____ first. I understand sometimes we experience heartbreak, but I won’t let you break your own heart over foolishness.”

“But Grandma–”

“No ‘buts.’” His grandma folded her arms in her lap and glanced at the door of her room. “No more ‘buts’, Sunghoon.”

Despite the lingering worry settled in his system, he sighed and stood up slowly. Sunghoon bowed deeply, glanced at his hands, and left his grandma’s room with her words in mind.

V – E is for End

Sunghoon wasn’t too sure he’d be able to follow his grandma’s instructions.

He was back now from his hometown, back in the comfort of his familiar Seoul bedroom, but you weren’t here. He’d known you two wouldn’t get back at the same time, yet that didn’t stop him from feeling slightly lonely without you to go on dates with. It was a numbing feeling, that left him feeling empty if he dwelled on it too long, and he worried he’d go completely numb if you two truly didn’t end up working out.

The thought sent a chill down his spine every time Sunghoon’s mind strayed to it and Jake’s feeble comforts did little to quell his worries.

To make matters worse, you unexpectedly postponed your return date and said you couldn’t go to a pool party Jake was throwing anymore. You were very vague about the reason why when he asked and Sunghoon began worrying once again. He even brought up not going to the party to Jake, but his best friend wouldn’t have it and threatened to drag him to the party himself.

So, there he was. Standing at the edge of a crowd of strangers, nursing his second beer of the night, and completely alone. Well, he wasn’t completely alone. Jake and some of Sunghoon’s other friends had passed by him and invited him to the dance floor, but he couldn’t get himself to get out there and dance with someone who wasn’t you. The most they’d been able to get him to do was drink a little, even if the drinks only fuelled his moping.

A couple of people sent him inviting looks and winks, dancing in a way that made him avert his eyes immediately, but he didn’t budge an inch from where he was standing. Maybe if you were here, he would. No, definitely, if you were here he would. His mind wandered to grasp at the edges of the first night you’d met, trying to remember if you’d been dancing that night, but he couldn’t pull up a single image of you dancing.

If you were here, how would you dance? Would you dance with a lot of energy, completely letting yourself loose? Or, would you take your time to flow with the music, swinging your hips and smiling at him in that way that just drove him crazy?

Sunghoon smiled a bit at the thought and felt his hips move along to the beat, frowning once he realised what he was doing.

He missed you.

Just a few months ago, he hadn’t known he could miss someone the way he was missing you, but he was and he couldn’t do anything about it.

As if his best friend could read his thoughts, Jake danced off the dance floor to Sunghoon’s side, running a hand through his unruly, blond hair. Sunghoon could smell the booze coming off him, and he watched as his friend nearly lost his footing trying to lean on Sunghoon. Jake barely noticed, though, as he just kept smiling up at Sunghoon. Sunghoon made a point to look anywhere, except in the blond’s direction.

After a while of just trying to ignore his drunk friend, Sunghoon eventually rolled his eyes and raised an eyebrow in Jake’s direction. “What?”

“I can’t, I can’t just look at you now?” Jake asked, his wide smile never leaving his face.

“No, it’s not that. It’s the way you’re looking at me.”

“How am I looking at you?” His friend leaned in close, stretching an arm around Sunghoon’s shoulders. “Hm? I’m just looking at you with my normal eyeballs, my very normal eyeballs, actually just like you, you too.”

“You’re looking at me like, I don’t fucking know, you’re hiding some type of secret from me,” Sunghoon said, pushing Jake off his frame. “And I don’t like that look because the last time you looked at me like that I ended up kissing _____ in a shed for seven minutes.”

Jake’s wide smile grew into a slight, smug smirk. “And look how well that turned out for you. Someone’s not so bitchless anymore.”

Sunghoon rolled his eyes and took a swig of his drink but couldn’t hide the dusting of pink on his cheeks. (If he were to consider things between the two of you, you would be the one who wasn’t so bitchless anymore, considering he was more of your bitch than you were his with the way he was nursing a beer in the corner of a party like a loser just because he missed you. He didn’t need to tell Jake all that though.)

Instead, he feigned an annoyed scowl and crossed his arms over his chest. “What do you want, Jake?”

“I thought you would never ever ever ask.” His friend grinned. “Can you please get out the other floaties from the shed? Some people ripped these and, well, turns out not everyone at a pool party can actually swim. A bit crazy, I know.”

“Why can’t you? The shed was closer to where you were standing.”

“Um…” his friend trailed off, shaking his head incredulously, “I’m obviously inebriated, you know! Everything weighs a shitton of bricks right now.”

Sunghoon’s feigned scowl deepened into a real one, as he rolled his eyes and put his beer down on the ground. It was getting warm anyway and the alcohol wasn’t doing much for him, except make him miss you more. He shot Jake a look, before shouldering past him and making his way towards Jake’s shed.

It was surprisingly chilly for a summer night out, chilly enough at least that Sunghoon could feel some of the hairs on his arms raise as he stalked towards the shed. But, he welcomed the chill because his alternative was thinking about what had happened the last time he’d walked towards this shed. And once he started thinking about that, he’d start missing the feel of your lips on his, your arms around his neck, your eyes staring into his.

He cursed under his breath at his thoughts, wondering if, for even one second, he could think of something other than you.

Sunghoon immediately answered his question with a ‘no’ when he walked into the shed and he thought he smelled your signature fragrance. He would’ve recognised it anywhere (not because he was obsessed like Jake had once said, but because you’d borrowed his sweater on your date and your scent still lingered even after he’d washed it), so he was sure he wasn’t picking up someone else’s perfume or cologne, but he wouldn’t rule out him imagining your fragrance there as a result of him missing you so much.

So, he ignored the smell filling the shed and clambered around for the light switch. He’d been so sure it was by the wall, but he must’ve been more buzzed than he realised because his fingers kept grazing the air. By the time he finally felt the grooves of the light switch under his fingers and was going to turn it on, Sunghoon was so ready to grab the floaties Jake had asked for and get back to the party, or maybe even go home because–

Sunghoon froze.

He couldn’t think, speak, or do anything as the lights flickered on to reveal… well, you.

Sunghoon was going crazy.

He was so sure you were a figment of his imagination, brought about by how much he missed you, and he immediately frowned at the thought. Missing you was fine, maybe overkill when he thought about how often he thought about you, but creating images of you? That was a bit too much, even for him.

Despite his thoughts, though, Sunghoon couldn’t shake the nagging hope that maybe this was real. It didn’t help that “you”—or you–were smiling at him in a way that made his stomach flip, especially after being away from you for so long.

He felt ridiculous for even bothering, like when a horror film character asks who’s there after hearing a noise in the dark, but he cleared his throat slowly and whispered, “_____?”

You giggled softly and raised your eyebrows at what Sunghoon was sure was an incredulous look on his face. “Yes, Hoon?”

“Oh, my God,” Sunghoon started, feet still locked in place, “Oh, my God.”

You took a step closer to him and your grin only grew wider as he blinked slowly at you. Another step and he gulped slowly. Yet another and his eyes grew wide.

He put a hand up before you could take another step and close the distance between you two. “Wait, wait, wait!”

A small frown lit up your face, but you stayed where you were and slightly cocked your head.

“You’re real?” Sunghoon felt stupid asking, but he still had to check.

The feeling only doubled when your brows furrowed and you asked, “Am I real? … Hoon, is everything okay?”

He felt so warm at the familiar nickname that he could almost ignore the rest of what you said, but the growing concern on your face made him clarify himself.

“I just, I’ve had a bit to drink so I thought that my brain tricked me into thinking you were there.” Sunghoon paused at the bemusement on your face and he suddenly felt a whole lot warmer, despite the chilly air. “Actually, um, now that I say it out loud I do realise how ridiculous it sounds. Sorry.”

“Well,” you smiled at him with a sly glint in your eye, finally closing the gap between you two so your breath was fanning out on his face, “if you want to check, you always can.”

Sunghoon, being the guy he was, immediately thought of how he’d pinch himself in a shocking situation and went to do just that. It was only when you laughed at his actions, an incredulous look in your eyes, that he realised what you’d meant and blushed.

“Oh, I, I–”

“Hoon?” you asked, cutting him off and waiting until he nodded, “You’re so cute sometimes, y’know?”

“Just sometimes?” Sunghoon recovered quickly, sliding his arms around your waist and grinning slightly. He’d missed this too much. “So, what am I the other times?”

“Oh?” You raised an eyebrow. “Someone’s gotten a little bolder, hasn’t he?”

“I’d say it’s your influence. You were bound to rub off on me after sticking around me so much.”

He grinned at the way your brows shot up.

“Sticking around you? Hoon, who was the one that–”

“_____?” It was Sunghoon’s turn to cut you off and his grin grew so wide at the realisation on your face. It felt good to finally flip the tables. “You talk so much sometimes, y’know?”

You rolled your eyes, but there was a slight tug on your lips. “Wow, you’re so original. What, first you’re gonna steal my line, next you’re gonna pull some cheesy rom-com line on me and kiss me?”

“So you’re telling me you wouldn’t like it?” he asked, as one of his hands slowly travelled up your side and settled on cupping your jaw. He didn’t miss the way you sagged into his touch. Sunghoon was going to explode.

The tug on your lips grew into a full grin and you wrapped your hands around his neck. “Now, who said anything about that? C’mere, Hoon.”

He didn’t need to hear it twice. Sunghoon tilted your jaw towards him and leaned in for a soft kiss. It wasn’t intense or desperate, unlike what he’d imagined it be like after being away from you for so long, but he preferred it this way. He could savour the taste of your familiar lip balm against his lips and take his time pecking small, chaste kisses on and around your lips.

He sighed out loud and felt his cheeks flush when you pulled back to laugh. “You really missed me, huh?”

Sunghoon wasn’t sure if it was because of the little alcohol in his system or how much he’d missed you, but he gazed into your eyes and whispered, “I did. I really did.”

And, just like that, the tension was back. The obvious hesitancy. The ‘buts.’ He could feel your hold on his neck loosen slightly and he wanted nothing more than to take his words back and rewind to before he fell too deep, but it was too late. All that was left was for him to either avoid everything or finally face it, despite the worries that built up in his mind.

“_____,” he started gently, like you would run away at any second (but he knew you too well to know that you wouldn’t–he would), “we… we should talk.”

“About what?” you tried, a burst of nervous laughter escaping your lips.

You were avoiding his serious gaze, choosing instead to focus on where your hands met his neck. Sunghoon couldn’t tell much of what you were thinking, but, knowing you, he knew you were only postponing the conversation. Maybe it was because this was supposed to be a fun night for you two–after all, you’d probably sacrificed some more nights with your family to get here. Or, maybe it was because you weren’t ready to discuss it. Either way, it was as much your decision as his.

Sunghoon lowered his hands to your lower back and squeezed lightly. “I mean, we don’t have to if you don’t want to… It’d just be a good idea because soon everyone’s gonna start leaving for uni and well, we don’t even know what’s gonna happen between us then, and it’d probably be best if–”

“Hoon.” You were looking into his eyes now, your brows drawn together. “You’re shaking.”

His eyes grew wide and left your face to glance at his fingers, which were trembling around your waist. He tried laughing, shaking the nerves off, but the sound came out choked and he winced. Without a word, he gestured towards the floor of the shed and slumped against the back wall. You followed shortly after, sitting with your knees bunched up to your chest, one of your shoulders brushing against his. At your touch, Sunghoon wanted to reach out and squeeze one of your hands, but they were balled up on top of your knees, a hard look on your face. He sighed.

“You’re right, Hoon,” you started, staring ahead through the open shed door. The party was still going on outside, the music and noise muted from where you two were, but it might’ve as well not been with the way you two were wrapped up in your own bubble. A tense bubble. “We should talk… about us.”

He nodded, crossing his legs and laying his trembling hands in his lap.

Despite what you said, a short lapse of silence settled between you two and, for a moment, Sunghoon was worried this wasn’t going to go anywhere and he’d made a mistake.

But then you swivelled your head towards him and whispered, “What do you want us to be?”

What does he want you two to be? He’d thought about that question one too many times. It’d only ever hurt, thinking of so many domestic scenes and possibilities with you two when he wasn’t even sure if there could be a ‘you two.’

“What do I want us to be?” he repeated, gazing out the shed. “I want us to be together. I want… I want to keep waking up to your pictures on my phone and to go on spontaneous, little dates with you and finally go for that Waffle House date and… just be with you. I want you.”

With his last words, he slowly looked at you and already found you looking at him. There was a little smile tugging at your lips, that was both sad and happy at the same time, and you just nodded slowly.

As his gaze lingered, you cleared your throat and averted your eyes. “I want that too. Really, I do. You don’t understand how many times I’ve wondered what it’d be like if, I don’t know, we’d met a little earlier. If we could’ve gotten to know each other during high school.

“You know Jake told me you were your school’s drama club star?” You smiled slightly and Sunghoon felt a small smile pull at his lips as well. “I would’ve loved to be in the crowds, cheering you on. Or, even maybe get up on stage with you. Jake told me your school never did Romeo and Juliet, but you’d make a pretty good Juliet, don’t you think?”

Sunghoon chuckled and you did too, your shoulders brushing against each other’s for a moment, till your laughter ebbed away. You stared straight ahead again, frowning.

“And then I wondered why I kept thinking of the past. I mean, it’d just make more sense for me to hope that we could stay together, you know? But instead, I keep wishing we’d known each other longer.” You smiled again, that smile from before, but Sunghoon was sure it was only sad this time. “And I realised that I, I felt like we were running out of time. That, I don’t know, when summer ends, we end. Like the changing of weather is some type of timer.”

You whispered the last part more to yourself, but Sunghoon heard it and the self-loathing in it. You loathed yourself for the way you’d been thinking. Sunghoon couldn’t help but relate.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you looked at Sunghoon, a flicker of uncertainty in your eyes. “Do you ever feel like that? Like this is all the time we’ll ever have? Like even thinking of a future where we’re together is… I don’t know, like, wrong?”

That familiar hurt Sunghoon felt or anticipated, whenever he thought of the two of you together on campus came to mind and he nodded slowly. The ‘buts were popping up in his mind again, filling him with growing dread and he was starting to regret his decision. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, shouldn’t have brought it up, and let you guys live in oblivious bliss for a little longer. But, deep down, he knew that wouldn’t be true bliss. Like his grandma had said, you would only end up hurting yourselves because of your foolishness.

“But that’s not true, is it?” he started, glancing down at his hands which had started trembling again, “I don’t even know, like, what even made us think we only have the summer? Just because we met in summer? When you think of it like that, you feel ridiculous don’t you? We could literally be going to the same uni and we’re here, too anxious to even tell each other where we’re going.”

You snorted, glancing at Sunghoon out of the corner of your eye. “You’re right.” Straightening, you turned your whole body to face him. “You know considering we’re going in a few weeks, we’ve probably put more effort into not mentioning uni in our conversations because it should’ve popped up in our conversations, at least, once before.”

“Exactly. We should just tell each other. Now. Before we, we lose our nerve or something.”

You nodded and bit your lip, while Sunghoon closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He felt your hand brush against his, so he opened his eyes and took your hands in his. Your hands were, surprisingly, clammy. He was going to say something about it, but, glancing at your face, he spotted the way your eyes were darting all around the room.

Instead of commenting on it, Sunghoon took another deep breath. “Ready?”

You nodded once. “Ready.”

A short silence ensued between the two of you, as neither of you said anything or even made a move to say anything. Your eyes finally landed on his and a nervous smile tugged at the edge of your lips. You were nervous, Sunghoon realised belatedly and squeezed your hand instinctively.

“On three?” he offered.

“On three.”

“One, two, three–University of Seoul.”

“Kyunghee University–wait, what the fuck?”

Sunghoon furrowed his brows at the shocked look on your face and your exclamation. He couldn’t even focus on the name of the university you’d said. All the anxieties that’d been bothering him were beginning to boil up and over at the simple lack of happiness on your face. He was almost sure he was the one with the clammy hands now and he moved to remove his hand from yours when you gripped his tightly and began to smile lightly.

“What the fuck,” you repeated, still as shocked, but with the beginnings of a grin on your face.

Sunghoon only looked at you with his brows still furrowed. He frowned slightly when you began laughing. “I’m confused.”

“I can’t believe I was so stressed about this,” you muttered, mostly to yourself, but still smiling directly at him. “Hoon, we’re so dumb. So fucking dumb.”

“I agree… I think? But, why, I–”

“What neighbourhood is the University of Seoul in?”

“_____, what? I–”

You placed a finger on his lips and shook your head. “Don’t overthink it. Just answer my question.”

He glanced between your finger on his lips and your face. “Dongdaemun-gu.”

“Dongdaemun-gu,” you repeated, your small smile growing into a full one now, “Guess where Kyunghee is?”

“Uh.” He looked away from your face, trying to picture a map of Seoul in his head, but he drew short (he’d always been bad at geography anyway). “Myeongnyun? Daehakno?”

He didn’t think it was possible, but your smile grew even wider. “Not even close. It’s in Hoegi-Dong.”

Sunghoon nodded slowly, while you just looked at him with an expectant look on your face. He shook his head sheepishly and you just rolled your eyes.

“Hoon, they’re like five minutes away from each other.” You paused to let it sink in and laughed as Sunghoon’s brows finally relaxed and his eyes widened. “This is fucking stupid. We’re so fucking stupid.”

Sunghoon could only blink dumbly at you, while you just laughed at his dumbfounded shock. Immediately, his grandma’s words returned to him and a huge sense of embarrassment washed over him as he realised he’d proven her right. But, glancing between your intertwined hands and your wide smile, he found that he didn’t mind the embarrassment if it meant he still had a space with you.

(He’d do nearly anything to have that with you, he realised.)

You broke him out of his stupor by wrapping your arms around his neck and whispering, “So, Hoon, how do you feel now knowing that we’ll be, like, five minutes away from each other?”

“Want me to be honest?” he asked, placing his hands back on your waist (where they just seemed to fit perfectly, he noticed) and grinning softly when you nodded. “I feel really fucking embarrassed. Like, for weeks I’ve just been thinking of how much I’d miss you and wondering if I should even ask you out since we might not even see each other ever again. And, in the back of my head, I knew it was dumb because, if we wanted to make it work, we could make it work for sure. But, it was hard to remember that and–”

“Hoon, hoon,” you interrupted, giggling slightly and tightening your grip on his neck, “now, you’re the one talking too much.”

Sunghoon paused, taking a second to process what was going on. You were in front of him, hands wrapped around his neck, and smiling widely like he made you the happiest person in the world. He was in front of you, hands wrapped around your waist, and still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you two would be five minutes away from each other nearly every day–the closest to a campus couple he could ever ask for. He didn’t believe in fate (the same way he hadn’t believed in perfect first kisses, but he’d seen just how well that’d worked out for him), but the more he thought about it, the more he was sure that something more than luck had landed you two in this situation.

He sighed out loud and rested his head against yours. ”God, I feel like I aged twenty years worrying about all of this. It feels a bit silly now, doesn’t it?”

“A bit is an understatement, don’t you think?” you replied, settling yourself in his lap. He froze a bit, and you moved to get up, but he shook his head and brought you closer. You smiled. “Besides, you’d probably still look good as a thirty-nine-year-old.”

“Oh, gross.” He scrunched up his nose as he moved closer to you, his hands running up and down your sides. “I don’t even want to imagine myself over thirty yet.”

“Really?” you raised a brow, arms locking around his neck and eyes flickering to his lips. “You’d be a hot DILF though.”

He snorted. “God, shut up.”

Your smile widened, a knowing glint in your eye. “Don’t make me say the cheesy rom-com line, Hoon.”

“Alright, alright,” he murmured, lips a breadth away from yours, before he kissed you.

Now, this was the desperate, intense kiss he’d been imagining earlier. He wasn’t sure if it was because of the anticipation you’d both been harbouring before or the elation at what you’d just found out, but you both pulled out the works with teeth, tongue–everything. Sunghoon couldn’t begin to describe how he felt, what you were making him feel, but all he knew was he didn’t want it to end.

And when you kissed him on his cheek, tugged on his hand, and pulled him out into the chaos of the party, smiling at him all the while like he was the only guy in the world, he knew it never would.

Epilogue – S is for Summer Fling

You two had decided on the early-morning pancake at-home date.

Evidently so, as you were in nothing but a hoodie of his and his old gym shorts (a fact that Sunghoon had known since yesterday, when you’d slept over at his after Jake’s party, but he was still struggling to grasp), he was in another one of his hoodies and sweatpants, and you were both still rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. The rich smell of butter wafted all around Sunghoon’s kitchen, accompanied by the sizzling sound of him pouring pancake batter on the greasy pan. Besides the sizzles, and the occasional yawn from you, it was a completely silent morning, as Sunghoon concentrated all his efforts into impressing you with his cooking skills.

“So does this mean you’re my boyfriend now?” you asked, breaking the silence and Sunghoon’s focus.

He blinked, glad he was facing the stove and not where you sitting behind the kitchen island, and found that he couldn’t stop blinking. Was he your boyfriend? It was like you read his mind because that’s all he’d been thinking of since the moment he woke up with you in his arms. He’d fallen asleep on many hot summer nights, but he’d never woken up as warm as he had that morning. It was a feeling he’d spent minutes basking in, tracing every one of your resting features with his eyes and wondering how he’d function as your boyfriend, waking up nearly every morning with this same warmth in his chest. It almost seemed too good to be his reality. And if he was your boyfriend, he thought, that meant you were his and–

“Hoon! The pancakes!” you yelled and Sunghoon cursed loudly.

He moved the pan off the stove and turned on the kitchen hood, but it was too late. The pancake was charred beyond recognition and, looking down at it, he wondered how he hadn’t smelt the tinging scent of the burnt pancake.

Sunghoon sighed as he chucked away the pancakes. “I’m sorry, _____, that was the last bit of pancake batter we had. If you don’t mind, I can quickly run to the store and–”

“Don’t worry about it, Hoon,” you said, cutting him off as you slid off the island seat. He couldn’t see where you were, or where you were going, so he stifled his breath a bit when you slid up beside him and thrust your phone in his face. “Besides, we can order in.”

He spared a glance at your face, preparing himself for any signs of disappointment or irritation, but you were just smiling at him with a soft look in your eyes.

His brows furrowed. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Yeah, I guess,” you started, shrugging, “but I can wait a couple of minutes.”

Sunghoon bit his lip, a protest and another apology on the tip of his tongue, and furrowed his brows further. Your eyes traced his movements, and you placed two gentle fingers on the fold between his brows, smoothing them out. He didn’t say anything as you did. He just lowered his head and frowned slightly at the smoking scent reminding him of his failed attempt at breakfast. You simply grinned at the obvious frustration and disappointment on his face, a look rising in your eyes that he didn’t catch as he chewed on his lower lip.

“Hoon,” you called out softly, waiting for him to raise his head. When he did, you took a step closer to him, a coy look in your eyes. “You didn’t answer my question.”

He was about to furrow his brows again in confusion, but your words from earlier replayed in his head as your smile only grew more teasing, and Sunghoon was sure he was turning as red as the strawberries on the counter behind him.

The boy averted his gaze from you, murmuring, “Well, I was hoping to ask if I could have the honour of being your boyfriend after, you know, we had food that I’d made in our stomachs and proper clothes on our bodies, but I guess so.”

“The honour?” you repeated, raising an eyebrow and muffling a laugh. Sunghoon glared at you lightly when you let a giggle slip, at which you apologised. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I promise I’ll bestow you with the honour of being my boyfriend after we run to the grocery store so you can fix up some pancakes and ask me out already.”

You almost laughed again at how quickly he perked up at your words and, this time, he rolled your eyes and smiled slightly at your teasing grin.

As he grabbed his keys, held your hand, and slipped out the door, the same warmth he’d felt that morning bloomed from where your hands met to every other bit of his body. He’d never imagined this, kissing his soon-to-be something in his car before a grocery run, was where he’d find himself after he’d had his first kiss on a night that felt like years ago. He couldn’t even imagine where he’d be with you in a couple of years. All he knew was he was glad you’d ended up as more than a summer fling.

feedback & reblogs are welcome and appreciated! ♡♡

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copyright 2022-2023 soobisms, all rights reserved. no translations or reposts of any form allowed.

[floofanflurr]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tag @sneakyfox55! I don't normally do tag games, but this one looks really fun. (What author doesn't want the chance to ramble about their writing?) (This one is also copy/paste, so I'm less worried about clogging up people's dashes)

I'm going to put it under a cut since this is pretty long!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

As of now? 9! (But I have more than 35 fics in progress in my drafts that aren't posted.)

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

129,647! But like, triple that (or more) if you want to count unposted stuff.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Undertale!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Heart on the Table

2. How to Defeat a Human in 6 Easy Steps

3. faux pas

4. How to Comfort a Panicking Child

5. How to Help a Human in 2 Easy Steps

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes!!! I love responding!!! I'm behind horribly right now because of my work's busy season, but I plan to catch back up! It's so fun to get to talk to people about the things I've poured my heart and soul into, you know? And I'm always glad to get to thank the people that took the time to leave a comment! It's a bit hard to keep up sometimes, though.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

"Is it Home Without You?" definitely. I'm still really proud of that fic, and it's part of a series with a happy ending, but the actual oneshot is the immediate aftermath of Gaster's lab accident from Sans's PoV. So, uh. Dead dad that no one but you remembers (not even your little brother) is pretty angsty. It's a step away from the norm for me, since normally I only write things with happy endings. But since this is part of a series that has a happy ending, I suppose my brain allowed me to end it off on a bittersweet (sad and angsty) note.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

This is really hard to say! I like big, happy endings, so most of my stuff gets them! Probably.... Hmmm. Either faux paus or How to Defeat a Human in 6 Easy Steps

8. Do you get hate on fics?

For the most part? No. (And I will always be grateful for the kind people that have picked me back up after I've been shot down in the past.)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

None you'll ever find under this username! I try to keep it family friendly here. ...Welllll, depending on if you count fics that tackle trauma and child murder in them family friendly.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't written any cross fandom crossovers! ...I have, however, been guilty of writing cross fic crossovers (none posted). I like to make my characters from different fics interact with each other. I've also done some crossovers for fun with my friends, making our characters interact. All still Undertale fandom, though! The craziest one is probably "How to Adopt an Interdimensional Traveler" which may be posted at some point. It's a crossover between Heart on the Table, and my How To: series. What, you're telling me Papyrus has TWO children to deal with now? (Here, have the first little bit of that because I love it. And I love Papyrus.)

Step One: Find out their name “FRISK!” Papyrus’s voice was not a shriek. No. He was perfectly composed as he stared down at the… little Frisk in front of him.  The very little Frisk. There was a familiar thumping behind him as… his Frisk crashed down the stairs in their familiar clumsy way. For all the elegance they displayed in battle, that did not tend to follow them home. He partially whirled around to face them, keeping… mini Frisk in his sight at the same time.  “What’s up, Dad?” Mini Frisk made a small noise that may have been confusion as they rapidly looked between him and their larger counterpart. “…Dad?” Oh.  Hm.  Yes.  That was. A thing. Apparently Papyrus had two children now. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know! And I sure hope not!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! That would be cool as heck, though!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

None that are posted! But I like to write with my friends, sometimes.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Surprisingly! Not Undertale! (Though I do like Alphyne!) Zukka! (Zuko x Sokka, Avatar the Last Airbender) I've loved that ship for years, and even though I'm not really in the AtLA fandom anymore, it still has a very close place in my heart.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hmmmm. Again, nothing posted. I don't post fics unless they have a first draft completely written to prevent that kind of thing. (Though, I do rewrite stuff, and that can cause pretty big posting delays. But if for some reason I can't find the motivation to finish my rewrites, I could always just slap my first draft up so that it's not completely unfinished before I'd abandon it completely.) Of my fics not posted, though? I've got a fic called "Ghost of You" which is a fated soulmate dusttale!papyrusXreader fic. I hope I can finish it one day, but... well. I'm not sure if I will or not.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization, and internal dialogue, I think! I like to think I'm pretty good at writing a character in such a way that even if you pick just a sentence at random, you know who's head you're in. Or, perhaps my strength is hurt/comfort in general...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It used to be dialogue, though I'm working to get better at that! I also struggle sometimes when it comes to making sure that the pace is engaging and that we aren't just stuck in someone's internal thoughts for 5 paragraphs. Gotta break that up with some stuff actually happening!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Very cool, and a great way to show characters that speak other languages than the one you are in the PoV of!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Well... the fic itself is long gone, but! I wrote for Ouran Highschool Host Club when I was like 12.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

DON'T MAKE ME CHOOSE! HOW COULD YOU ASK ME TO CHOOSE BETWEEN MY CHILDREN? MY BABIES! ...Heart on the Table has a special place in my heart though.

No pressure tags (only if you want! this is just for fun!): @lizavet @timeofjuly @humankk and anyone that wants to!

Also... Shall I dare? invoke the potential wrath of a god(ess)?

I dare. I'm curious about the answers (if the goddess does deign to answer this mortal/jk) @llamagoddessofficial (please feel free to just ignore if you want!)

[sharkneto]

hi!!!! I was rereading the shifting mirrors and holding it together since you finished joining together recently (it’s SO good, it’s so so SO good, your writing is always so well done and flows so well) and I had a couple questions. Sorry if this is weird - if you don’t want to answer them feel free to ignore this ask, I’m just curious!

1.) did you start writing joining together while you were still posting holding it together? a lot of the details I noticed in HIT were referenced in JT, and I was just kind of like ‘that’s a LOT of details to remember’ so I was wondering if you were working backwards !!

2.) have you ever thought about what happens at the end of HIT? do you think they would actually end up stopping the apocalypse, or would the commission try to come and correct them? I thought that was interesting - that the commission said they were done with five, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’re done with the offshoot timeline ; if they hadn’t interfered prior, that would mean they were still on track for an apocalypse, right ? I like to speculate about this. with sheer strength of will I think that five would probably end up stopping it, mostly because he knows how to work through his rage rather than act on impulse again - and now he has the knowledge to try and connect the others so that viktor doesn’t feel so isolated.

3.) what was your favorite part of writing the story / what kept you motivated to keep it going ? I’ve started a couple chaptered fics, and then I get three or four chapters in and lose it completely.

I love, love, love the world youve created - I love the characters youve built and the personalities behind them. the dedication youve held on to to keep the series going is admirable; I can barely write 20k, much less hundreds of thousands of words. I was actually thinking of asking your permission to maybe write an offshoot of your offshoot (it might be the thing that gets me back into writing for tua) but idk if I’d have the imagination or creativity to make it nearly as compelling and fun as yours. Congratulations and great work on finishing it !! <333

this got long - feel free to ignore it if it’s overstepping or weird, lol !! I hope you’re doing well - have a great night, shark :)

Hey Toby! Glad you enjoyed it all so much and thanks for the kind words! It's a little surreal to have it done, JT has been a WIP almost as long as I've been into TUA.

I started writing JT before HIT. This whole series was supposed to be a Just For Me Fun Project while I rotted alone during the pandemic that I ended up sharing with permission from orsumfenix and encouragement from friends. I was a bit into JT, I think, when I started thinking about how fun it would be to get more siblings in here, and those musing became HIT. HIT got posted first because it had a lower barrier for entry, with more focus on the Hargreeves we know instead of OCs. So, because the stories were written more-or-less simultaneously, it was easy to reference one or set up something for the other. Working forwards and backwards, with the end of JT already written (in a rough draft) when I was writing HIT, so I knew where Rob, Sarah, and Number were coming off of at that point. (The tiny detail I'm most fond of is Allison in HIT noting that Number broke his nose at some point, and then in JT we get to see the stupid scenario in which he broke his nose.)

(rest under a readmore because I ramble)

I do have thoughts on what happens after HIT! More of a time jump, to Number's Apocalypse Week, and I've got words in a WIP started about that (and a few snips shared in my snip tag, although some I think I've changed some of the details, now). It goes... less smoothly than it should, for a guy who has (almost) all the details he needs. If motivation continues, I'll share that eventually. If it doesn't, I'll word-vomit an outline so at least people who are interested can know how it goes down. I don't see the Commission coming back - the people obsessed with Five are dead, and the organization is done with him. They don't have the resources to spare to keep going after him, so at least in Five and Number's timelines, they're out of the Commission's scope.

What kept me going was a combo of things. 2020-2022ish, I had a fuckton of time. I only worked three days a week because of covid protocols, I couldn't go anywhere because of covid, and I couldn't see anyone because of covid. I had four days a week to fill, and a lot of that time got filled with writing - all of HIT and the first draft of JT happened during this time, plus all the other fics I published throughout that time. What kept me going is that I was having a ton of fun writing and fun interacting with other people about my fics. Love, love, love talking about them (so never apologize for an ask like this, every fic writer is begging for an excuse to ramble like this). I liked thinking about the characters, thinking about Number doing mundane things I was doing made them more interesting, I liked thinking about Rob and Sarah's little romcom life, and I'm fascinated by Five's whole deal. My favorite part of writing these is Five (both versions of him) - thinking about him and how he'd react to x or y, how others react to him. I love that, at his core, he's kind of a loser. I love what an incredible vehicle for grief he is. He's a character of all time for me.

How to keep going, I don't have an easy answer for it. Some people outline, so they have the skeleton of what they're doing and where they're going. I'm not one of those people, I have an idea of the general shape and trajectory of the story and go from there, splitting up chapters as needed. I think it's important to not force it, or the writer's block gets worse and then you're stressed about writing instead of having fun with it, and that's no good - the point is to have fun. If you run out of steam, you run out of steam and you have to take a six-month hiatus until life calms down and you have words again (as a hypothetical example). Don't be afraid to poke at other ideas even if you have a giant fic unfinished. For having 25 fics on AO3, I have 35 other WIP files on my computer. Some of them have a couple hundred words, some have tens of thousands of words, some of them I'll come back to finish, some of them I won't. Such is life - some ideas have legs, others don't. I don't set out thinking "Oh this fic is going to be 50k words with 10 chapters". I just write until it feels done; sometimes that's 2k words, sometimes it's almost 200k words. The point I'm trying to make, here, is that we're all just fucking around having fun, and words flow easier when I'm remembering that and not stressing about being done or trying to finish for a self-imposed deadline. You've got it :)

Feel free to write in my little world! Would love to see what others are thinking about, what stuck with them. Just give me (and orsumfenix, if you use Number) a shoutout if you share it! And don't sell yourself short - I'm sure you've got great ideas and the chops to write them out. Don't compare yourself to me; you might write in a world I helped shape, but you've got your own voice and style to give it. I, for one (if you end up writing and sharing it), would love to hear your version of it all :)

[fluffomatic]

Whoops! This has been sitting in my drafts for a few days. Should probably post it now that Creepy did a Kieran piece for me 😝

I don't tend to post a lot about my love for Pokemon here, but today is an exception~

SPOILERS FOR THE TEAL MASK AND INDIGO DISK + EPILOUGE UNDER THE CUT

Listen! When I tell you this mans is and will always be the best part of the DLC I am not joking! He holds my heart and I adore him more then life! His story on its own is one of the best Pokemon has done in a long time.

Like, this anxious little loner meets up with your protag, gets absolutely destroyed in a battle multiple times, loses his favorite Pokemon to you, and then goes crazy. After that he trains to be one of the harder npcs to come to Pokemon in a looong time, still loses and grows from it, chooses to help you, you become friends again and it's so cute! Then he gets to hang out with all your friends, and he finally gets a great support system ahhhhh!! Also, I just found out that statistically, Kieran is now the most powerful npc trainer in pokemon history, even beating out Cynthia! My little guy is so strong!!!

And now....LIKE HE'S SUPER TICKLISH RIGHT!?!? Would that even be up for debate?? Look at that little fella! He neeeeeeeeds tickles, please! Carmine 100% tickles him all the time. (Even tho I hate her lol) And the whole friend group definitely wrecks him, especially as a team! Poor kid needs it after everything he went through! Oh, and I can totally see Drayton tickling his as "punishment" for how he acted in the indigo disk dlc lol. I'm also cringe and ship my Trainer Deigo with him, so they obviously get into tickle fights all the time! I'll have to post Deigo on here so yall can see him >w< It's been a long time since Pokemon has made me like the character I'm playing!

Well, that's all the rambling I have for now. Depending on if I have it in me, I may post tickle headcanons for Kieran! It really depends if I feel like typing em out, lol. Feel free to send me asks for Pokemon, by the way! Again, I like, never talk about my love for it here for some reason, but I do adore the games! I'm not really into the anime, so sorry bout that

[divergent-paths]

I just went on DA to find you (and read all the lato league stuff, younger Alex was a really cute kid) and I was wondering, is there more stuff about Alex than just the lato league comics? It felt like the last one had a lot of references to things I didn't know so I'm curious. Is there maybe a story about how he got the scar? Or will it come up later? (In that case I'm not asking for spoilers btw)(I'm just really curious, the lato league stuff was fun) (wait is Alex in someone else's lato league stuff too then? Gtg check, bye)

Alex doesn't like answering questions about the scar, so have a cameo from Franz & Fubuki (Gramps & Aunt Fuu as Alex usually refers to them), who still seem to feel guilty about it years later lmao

It's another long ramble for this ask, so it's all below the cut~ The tldr is that there is more stuff I've done/drawn, but it's focused on the adults related to Alex, rather than on him directly. The one other story he was witness to (Frostsmitten) is incomplete because of a 1-2 punch depression-burnout combo, but I am looking to work more on it again this year finally.

As for prior stories, Alex is young enough that he's only been the star of one adventure, which was Lato, but there's a number of adults in his life who have been through many crazy shenanigans and he was brought along for grampa's crazy new year's romance in the snow (Frostsmitten), and the planned follow-up (FS2: Freezer Burn). But! While I am currently teasing about old references and such, anything in Divergent Paths that becomes necessary info *will* be explained when the time is right for the story. I like to tease things out to allow people to theorise on the story as they read, but I know eventually you've gotta' come out with a straight answer and that's best done when it finally means something to the characters. So we'll get there!

As for reading the story I mentioned above, well, haaaahhh... It's a tale as old as time. Depression+Burnout destroyed me, and last year (2023) was really the first time in years that I felt any semblance of my old energy, and it's still in process of working back up to those old levels. Frostsmitten (link here) is about 80% done/uploaded, and Freezer Burn has its concepts and timeline done, but no pages drafted yet.

So where does that leave us nowadays... Well, last year I was actually touching the old pages that remained to be finished and chipping away at them when the mood struck me, and I think I'm up to moving along that story this year between posts here on the tumbles. Definitely no schedule though, absolutely no promises, certainly no guarantees. I only end up embarrassing myself and disappointing people when I say 'it'll be out on xx date!' :'D

Anyways, I've rambled on long enough I think :'D Thank you for the interest in my other works, I really do appreciate it. It's not an exaggeration to say that everyone's comments, compliments and excitement is giving me life here. <3

[nopeferatu]

Poll time!

I'd love to hear your reasonings for your responses! See below the cut for my own take, but only after you vote! :P

Putting this out there bc I've read a lot of BBM fic and I always thought it was pretty clear that the whole "Fellas like you and me, we march off to hell" "You may be a sinner, but I ain't yet had the opportunity" scene was Ennis slyly admitting to Jack that he was a virgin.

There are no lines that directly say this is the case, neither within the movie script (although there were rumors that an earlier draft had Ennis saying smth like "You may be a sinner, but Alma ain't yet given me the opportunity) nor the short story (unless you take "nothing he'd done before but no instruction manual needed" as the narrator saying Ennis had never penetrated anything before, which is how I have always understood it). I just always felt like Ennis assumes that Jack, the a swaggering, cocky rodeo dude, is more wordly than him and has been presented with a lot of different opportunities to indulge in what their conservative Christian society considers sin and vice... including premarital sex.

So imagine my surprise when I found that a surprising amount of people write Ennis as having had previous sexual experiences before ever meeting Jack. There's nothing wrong with it, of course, like you can interpret these characters however you want yanno? I just don't personally agree with that assessment.

Not to like... give any validity to the idea of virginity since at the end of the day it's just a social concept, lol, but I just think it's really important narratively that Ennis lose his virginity to a man. Like, he's been worried all his life about the consequences of queerness within men, and yet the seemingly first time he's ever presented with the opportunity to have sex is with another man, and he absolutely jumps at it. That point is in tandem with my belief that Ennis is the type who probably never pressured good lil Christian Alma for sex, which probably also leads him down a mental spiral after that first night with Jack. What does that say about him, that he was perfectly content with Alma not putting out, but that he did Jack with an angry enthusiasm the first chance he got? He might deny that it doesn't mean anything, but you know he lingers on it all the time.

Plus, I just think it's really cute that Jack is his first time. Jack, who he's been really drawn to since they first met. Jack, who probably became his first and only friend in life. Jack, who understood him in ways that Alma never could. I just really like the idea that Jack was the first person he ever had sex with, and the love that grew from there kept them coming back to each other over the next 20 years of their lives. How many people can say that they stayed loving the first person they ever had sex with that long? His relationship with Jack lasted longer than his own marriage, for Christ's sake.

Anyways... incoherent rambling over. I'm excited to see the results :3

[topazadine]

Writer Questionnaire

As I prepare for the workday (sigh) I'm going to take a few minutes and hop in on the craze! Please go read @illarian-rambling's answers over here!

1. Is writing a hobby or way of life?

Way of life. Not only is my day job writing, but I spend pretty much all my free time writing my silly stories too. It's all I have ever known and all I ever do.

2. A journal full of writing notes or a clean, completed manuscript?

Clean manuscript. I double outline, meaning that I write a long, looong outline and a short outline with just the bullet points I desperately need. This keeps me from losing momentum while I'm writing because I don't feel like I've done the whole thing and don't need to write it. This sounds confusing, so let me show you what I mean. Here's the long outline for a chapter:

... and this is the short outline.

I then leave a comment on the chapter header in the actual Word document, something like "Cavalry confronts Uileac and Cerie," so I don't need to look back on the outline if I don't want to. Oh, and I do not work on WIPs simultaneously. Ever. One at a time. Can't relate to the people who say "hehe I have a million WIPs that are all half done." Like, girl, why do you think they're all half-done? Because your brain is overloaded with details for too many different plots. Jot down a note and get to it later. Otherwise all those things are going to stay half-done.

3. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

I started getting into fiction writing again after a long, long break because of Touken Ranbu, so we'll just say my beloved Uguisumaru.

My king .... I love you ... my darling ....

4. Which is worse: someone you "idolize" reading your first draft or listening to you sing?

Neither of those are particularly torturous to me. I guess singing.

5. Has writing from someone else's POV ever changed your own perspective?

It's very strange, but as a lesbian, I didn't really banish my own internalized homophobia until I started writing slash fic. Even in my own sapphic relationships, I always felt there was something 'wrong' about it and that our relationships weren't as valid as a straight couple. This was due to a lot of very violent homophobia imposed on me by others that made me really struggle to accept being gay. Writing about so many gay couples helped normalize it for me and feel more confident in my own sexuality. I no longer see gay couples as somehow apart from heterosexual relationships but just as deep and loving. In fact, writing stuff like the Moonbeam and Crane series was the push I needed to fully come out as a lesbian and stop pretending I was attracted to men, which is bizarre because, you know, I was writing about men banging. And then I went on to write gay longing and, eventually, a whole gay af series <3

6. Tumblr, AO3, LiveJournal, or FFN?

Archive of Our Own and Amazon :)

7. AO3 wordcount, and are you satisfied with it?

Quite satisfied with it! I did my million words of practice and then some before moving on to original fiction.

8. What movie/book/fic gripped you irrevocably?

Remainder by Tom McCarthy. It has this lulling menace about it. I loved the repetition and the incredible environmental descriptions. Another favorite is Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, which really encouraged me to get more experimental with my work. And my all-time favorite, Moby Dick. I've read it three times and keep meaning to go back for a fourth read; every time, I find something different to love about it. I started it again a bit ago and this time, I was focusing on the relationship between Ishmael and Queequeg.

9. What’s the highest compliment you’ve ever been given, and have you been given it?

This comment by Wapato_Sprout is the one that convinced me that I was ready to start writing original fiction:

I'm not kidding: I started writing Poesy, the full-length book in the Eirenic Verses series, like one week later. Then went and started filling in the back with shorter stories lmao. Being able to write two original characters with depth, goals, and motivations that people really cared about was such a rush, especially because I'd been told before that my original characters were more plot devices than people. And this should be your reminder that your comments on fanfiction matter a LOT! You may be the push to get a writer to start taking more risks and maybe even writing their own original fiction. Around the same time, my boss randomly told me that I should do more with my writing than just crafting business emails. I like to think that was a bit of divine intervention, to get two nudges from people I respect almost simultaneously. And hey look where it's gotten me! I'm writing a seven-part series now!

10. What defines your writing style?

My background in poetry gives my prose a sense of lyricism and movement. I think about whether my prose would flow like a poem when read aloud, and I hear that rhythm in my head when I write. It also means I know when to go short and choppy, or when to use long, moving description. I would not be anywhere near the writer I am today without those years of practice.

Open tag!

(I think most of the people I would tag were tagged elsewhere lmao)

[l-e-morgan-author]

Draft cover for the on-newsletter-signup free stories which I haven't finished editing yet. (So you can't have them yet; I'll finish editing them to my satisfaction before I open up my email newsletter.)

Further ramble below; it got kind of long. First about what these stories are about, then more rambling about my current works-in-progress and specifically aspects of Patience, Changing that I'm enjoying. Might recycle some of this for the next newsletter tbh.

A quick and not-edited summary of each story:

Ever Changing, Ever Near - Hadassah is different to everyone else, but despite that finds great joy in the changing seasons.

A Fragile Solace - Hadassah and Nem are friends. Despite what happens after, she treasures the friendship that they have.

Both stories were entered to (different) local competitions and were highly commended. I can't give an estimated story length because at least A Fragile Solace requires a bunch of editing that may lengthen it. Since I no longer have a word count requirement because I'm not planning on submitting them to any other competitions, I can go ham on them.

In case you don't know who Hadassah is, Hadassah is from the 2022(? maybe '23) Inklings challenge, which I wrote about 8k of. I was Team Lewis, portal fantasy. A very rough summary is that Hadassah is an autistic girl in a neurotypical world, one of the peasants of that world and chosen to be sent through a portal. Nobody knows what lies beyond. For Hadassah, what lies beyond is found family such as she hasn't experienced her entire life.

I found getting into her head unreasonably hard at the time, which is why I wanted to write stories about her, and why I haven't finished drafting her story. With more understanding of autistic people and also myself than I had then, I expect that when I get back to that properly I'll find it a lot easier to write.

I also intend to edit The Patience of Hope to be another newsletter freebie - the edited version, I mean. I intend to leave the first draft up on my website indefinitely, even if an edited version is published as part of something else (such as A Quiet Patience, though with the number of novellas I've got planned, that might be quite long...). But that's for a little way down the road, not yet.

As for a general update on writing generally, I've written a little bit more of Hands Made for Gentleness, but not much. That will require a lot of working with it once the first draft is done, but I've written up a rough outline of the rest of the main story beats, and I have a clearer idea where I'm going. I'm ideally going to finish drafting Patience, Changing before I really get back to that, which is about 20k away (yay!). I'm thoroughly into the third act, figuring out I need to know my characters better so the third act will require a good deal of rewriting, even though the bones are good. I'm pleased with the balance of characters, and at times even though I'm going "Hmm this needs work", I can switch that off and just work on it. I've been writing drabbles every day for this month, and currently I'm one (1) day behind. The drabbles have been helpful, providing scene ideas I can flesh out into full scenes, so they might be a bit janky in context, but I can edit that later.

I've really enjoyed two characters I didn't intend to include in this manuscript: Hannah (Patience's aunt) and Connie (who Patience meets in hospital). Hannah is a symbol of the seriousness of anorexia, and I am not looking forward to writing her death. At present the scene I'm writing is set on the 19th of November, 2018, and Hannah dies on the 16th of December, 2018. She's already written the letter to Patience, as well as the anonymous letter Patience doesn't realise is from her and which needs rewriting. But she has to die and it will tear my heart out to write her, though I've got to read at least a good chunk of A Grief Observed (C. S. Lewis) before I write about that. At present her death is set for the third last chapter, but I expect to rearrange things - events that I thought would work for two chapters turned out I'll need to significantly rewrite to get to even one chapter, so I'll probably use those events to close the second act rather than close the second act and open the third act as well, and therefore rearrange things to give enough space for Hannah's death. If I go over my planned word count in these chapters that's fine; whatever works. I just don't want to go under.

Having the 3k aim has been really good, because some of the time it's forced me to write 'filler' that I reread and am convinced I'll keep in, and sometimes it's kept me to only that long which is good practise too.

Oh, and also! The other character I've enjoyed. Connie. Connie's in hospital following a suicide attempt, but the psych ward's full up and she's not considered at high risk so she's in a general paeds ward, which is where she meets Patience. She isn't particularly forthcoming about why she's in, and Patience respects that. She suspects but is only told right at the end:

“You make me brave,” she said to Patience, just before she was transferred. “I came in here with a suicide attempt and you have made me discover I want to live. Live! When living has been a slow death all this time. You make me want to live. I wasn’t going to make it and I was okay with that. Now I’m going to fight, because of you.”

They keep in touch afterwards, and probably when I edit The Patience of Hope I'll include a scene with Connie in it. Because just as Hannah has to die, Connie has to live. I love the way both of these characters add to Patience's journey, but without trivialising her own very real issues. That's definitely something I'll have to do an edit pass to make sure I'm not doing, because yes, in the grand scheme of things Patience's hangups are very small but to her they're huge. Which is why I held off on writing this story for a good five years, and I'm terribly glad I did, because this story is far better than it would have been years ago.

Anyway. I'm rambling. All this to say that while I'm struggling a bit with writing it, Patience is still going swimmingly. I anticipate finishing the draft either by end of this month (stretch goal) or next month (realistic goal). Then I can dive back into Hands Made for Gentleness and maybe plotting The Time Travelling Midwife and/or Hadassah's story on the side.

I'm also having a fantastic time with Patience and Nathan's interactions at thirteen/fourteen:

“You’ll get through it,” he said. “In Christ, Patience. In Christ.” She smiled at him. He was very dear to her, standing there awkwardly and smiling his dear awkward smile back.

[flurry-of-stars]

Hihi! It’s been a little while, huh? How’s everyone doing out there? I hope you’ve all been well! (。･∀･)ﾉ I figured it was about time to give a little update just for those who are waiting for chapter updates or new fics and such (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡

So, to keep a long story short, life has kept me unable to write very much this past almost month. Actually, today is the first time where I’ve actually had the motivation and energy to write anything (っ- ‸ - ς)  I’ve tried to keep my creativity up during this period but it’s a challenge. This situation shows no signs of letting up anytime soon so it’s sad to say, it’ll be like this for a while yet ( • ᴖ • ｡ ) I still want to write. Writing and being creative is something that’s incredibly important to me (๑/////๑" ) But I do worry about my work being affected by my current situation. The last thing I want to do is upload work I’m unhappy with. So until this situation improves, I might upload smaller fics or rambles that cross my mind for now. I do have one fic that I finished last month. It’s only like 2k words and I wanted to wait until after I finish my 100 follower fic to post it, but I may post it ahead of schedule. I’ll be focusing on my 100 follower fic when I do have proper time to sit down and write at length. I’d really like to get it done before the end of June (since June is apparently the wedding month and it would fit hehe) but no promises (·•᷄‎ࡇ•᷅ ) I will still be drafting and plotting for the next chapters of THH. I did start on chapter 5 before everything happened and I have the whole chapter planned out, but I don’t want to properly sit down and write it until things improve a little. Maybe a few hundred words here and there when I feel up to it but progression will be slow. I’m very sorry to those who are waiting for it. I just don't want to give you guys chapters to read that I'm not proud of. Genuinely, thank you all so much for your patience (´｡• ◡ •｡`) ♡ Wishing you all a wonderful week! 💛💛💛

[babyinatrenchcoat]

Coming Out - Sister Winchester

Sooo this has been sitting in my drafts since 2017… apparently I came up with the idea in choir class my senior year 😅 I pretty much abandoned my account for like six years, but I’ve been revisiting it the last few days and thought I might as well finish this for shits and gigs.

Also, it turned out a bit more lengthy than I had originally anticipated… I don’t have a word count, I’m sorry

Descrpition: Coming out as gay/lesbian (whichever you prefer to say) to your older brothers.

Characters: Sam, Dean, Sister!reader, Charlie (mentioned)

Warnings: LGBTQ+ (if any of you need that as a warning), strong language (one word, said once)

~~~~~

Today is the day. The inevitability of this day gave you nightmares. The day you’d finally tell your brother’s the truth. You’re certain they both support it. They're fine with Charlie, after all. But that doesn't calm your nerves. The three of you found out pretty close to immediately upon meeting her. But you? Sam and Dean have known you your whole life. This will be so much different.

You pace back and forth in the bunker library, slowly boring a hole into the floor. Your thumb nail quickly becomes raw from your teeth as you run over what you plan to say in your head. This is the most nerve racking thing you’ve ever done. Ever had to do. Because this has to be done. They have to know the truth. It's the only way you can be your whole self around your family.

Not that you’re ashamed. No, it’s more that you’ve never actually said the words out loud. You’ve known about yourself for a very long time, but saying it aloud makes it real. These are different times. You know you have nothing to be ashamed of. Even still, your heart pounds in your throat.

The door starts to open, causing you to stop in your tracks and stare up at it. The color drains from your face, and your heart rate quickens, as if it was possible. Sam and Dean step inside, and you swear you can hear the rapid thumping of your heartbeat in you ears. Your brothers walk down the stairs and into the library where you stand chewing your nail with a terrified look on your face. They notice.

“What’s wrong, y/n?” The eldest brother asks.

“Did something happen?” Sam adds.

You take a deep breath. “Can you guys just sit down please?” The brothers exchange a confused glance before obeying.

“What's going on?” Sam asks as he pulls up his chair.

You run your hands through your hair and begin pacing again. Where do you begin? “Okay, so... I've been wanting to tell you guys this for a while now, but... I dunno, I've been scared, and I haven't really know how to do it, and-” Dean cuts off your rambling.

“Y/n,” he says, bringing your pacing to a halt. “You’re scaring me, kid, calm down. Breathe.” You obey. “Now tell us what's up. You didn't free the Leviathins again or anything, did you?”

You chuckle slightly. “No.”

“Then I don't think there's anything you could do that would be much worse,” he continues, adding a smile. “Talk to us, little sis.”

You try to rethink your approach, but come up dry. Finally, you become impatient with yourself and decide to just spill your guts. “Alright, I'm just gonna say it. But please, please promise that you won't hate me.”

“We could never hate you!” Sam immediately says.

The genuineness in his hazel eyes calms your nerves just a little. But only a little. You still have to force down the golf ball sized lump in your throat. You close your eyes and take another deep breath. Keeping your eyes shut, you finally let it out.

“I’m gay.”

And there it is. It’s out. You’re out. The reality of the words you just said sets in. You’ve never said those words out loud. The pit in your stomach tightens, and you have to hold your breath to keep from crying. Your nerves are still shot, but you also feel free. You’re out! There’s no taking it back now.

You keep your eyes pressed shut for a moment, afraid to see a disappointed look on your brothers’ faces. Finally, you convince yourself to pry one eye open, the curiosity of their reactions becoming overbearing.

Your brothers look at each other, then back at you. An identical smirk spreads across both pairs of lips.

What the hell is that?

Your other eye shoots open and you glare at them, waiting for something, anything, to come out of their mouths. “Well say something!” You practically shout. Dean fails to stifles a chuckle, while Sam allows his smile to spread further. “Why are you laughing?!”

“Y/n,” Same begins. “We know.”

Your whole world shatters, then the pieces come back together in an entirely new arrangement in a split second. The only word you can muster is “What?”

Dean clears his throat and leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you remember when you told us about your first kiss?”

How could you forget? “Uh, I seem to remember the two of you pestering the shit out of me until I told you.”

You had made the mistake of coming back to the motel you temporarily called home still blushing profusely. You tried like hell to suppress the crimson color of your burning cheeks, to no avail. “What’s his name?” Your eldest brother had immediately said. How were you supposed to react to his use of the word ‘his’?

Dean snickers about the memory now. “Right,” he agrees. “Anyway, you told us the kid’s name was Alex.”

Where is he going with this? It’s not like you lied. You just chose to leave out the fact that Alex wasn’t a boy. “Yeah?”

Dean pauses for a moment as if to give you a chance to catch up. You respond by simply raising your brows, silently asking him to continue. He looks to Sam for help.

“There wasn’t a single boy named Alex in your school,” Sam says.

Oh.

Heat rises to your entire face. At the time, you hadn’t considered that possibility.

“There was, however, an Alexandra in your grade,” Dean adds. He lifts one eyebrow at you.

You cover the embarrassment on your face with your hands. You’ve been so worried to tell them something that they already knew. Since your were 15, you’ve been trying to keep a cat in a bag that had a giant hole in the bottom. A laugh pushes itself from your stomach, and you drop your hands.

“I should’ve known you guys would try to find the guy,” you say.

Sam scrunches his eyebrows, keeping the smile spread across his face. “Well, yeah,” he sasses.

“Did you honestly think that we would find out that some horny teenage boy was mackin’ on our kid sister and not try to find out who he was?” Dean says.

You toss your palms up in surrender. “Like I said, I should’ve known,” you smile. “You broke into the school, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Sam casually says with a quick shrug. All you can do is shake your head. A short moment of silence later, Sam rises to his feet and holds out his arms. “C’mere,” he says, gesturing you towards the space between his arms.

In the time it takes you to walk to him, Dean stands as well, holding one arm open to you. You reach the two of them and collapse into the embrace of the group hug. The weight of a thousand worlds lifts off your shoulders and is replaced by comfort. Comfort you only ever feel from your brothers.

You squeeze your arms around them just a bit tighter. “You guys are the best big brothers a girl could ask for.”

Dean squeezes back and plants a kiss on the top of your head. “You mean the world to us, Y/n, you know that.”

You nuzzle yourself further into your brothers’ arms. The last ten minutes replays in your mind, and you can’t help but giggle. “I can’t believe you guys have known this whole time.”

“Of course we knew,” Sam’s voice sounds from above you. “And even if we hadn’t found out then, you’re not exactly discreet about checking out bartenders and waitresses.”

The only defense you can think of is a slap on his chest. The action sends the two men away from you in a laughing fit.

“I am so!”

“You are so not,” Dean says between chuckles.

After the three of you recover from your laughter, you just stare at them for a moment. You’ve been worried for nothing. These two dorks would do anything for you. There’s nothing in the universe that would make them think any less of you.

“I love you guys,” you say.

Dean reaches over and tousles your hair. “We love you too, kiddo.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Let me know if you guys want the story of the boys finding out about Alexandra, cause I would LOVE to write that in detail.

[pawseds]

I convinced our Delta Green game master to have a play-by-post (basically text roleplay) section in our game's server and uhhhhh maybe I've been having too much fun with it. Writing is faster than drawing comics, what can I say?

(Long ramble about writing stories below hehe oops)

While we're here! A bit about writing: I like writing! I've written for loger than I've drawn for (because school). I think I'm better at writing than drawing for that reason (I'm more confident at least). I've written short stories. I've written short stories about TTRPG things. I've also written a ~100k word novel by hand for 2 years. While writing it, I had 'writing class' (technically AS/A level Ennglish Language classes). It was the only class I had confidence in and high expectations for.

With those 2 combined, I burnt out pretty quick LOL. Specifically, I had a big perfectionism issue because of the high expectations I had from my teacher and especially myself -- it was the one thing I knew excelled at in school, so I better do it well! After I was done with the novel and A levels, I was supposed to edit the novel. It's been years and I haven't done it yet, and I wouldn't write non-assignment stories (except 2) until now. Writing became more nerverwracking than it was fun, so why would I?

To get back to the PBP thing: I've been in a campaign that was fully PBP. With my mindset being the way it is, hey! This is just one big writing exercise, so I ran along with that and had fun with it. I saw how some players would make their own PBP and essentially monologue/have a scene only with their PC. That was cool to see.

And now, my current Delta Green campaign (tagged 'Helvetia'). Hrothgar (guy in drawing) and his kids were ported over from a previous D&D campaign (the fully PBP one!), so the crew had a very well defined background already. Of course I get tons of drawing ideas for them, except I don't have the time to draw them all (compsci hard). But since the server has a PBP section, I had like 2 weeks to kill between session 0 and 1, and I was bursting with ideas... I made a lot of solo PBPs that were essentially short stories.

It didn't quite hit me until some time ago, but the PBPs actually made me enjoy writing again -- enjoy it a lot more, in fact! I think the format of Discord threads and messages removed most perfectionism tendencies I had. I just had to fire the story away, message by message. It didn't have to be amazing, and it was fun! (Also I really don't know how to shut up with them LOL)

I'll definitely be cleaning these PBPs up and posting them here as stories. Some of them are just silly, fun, slice-of-life character sketches. (These were the stories I wrote after my novel... and yes, they were about my other set of Delta Green characters LMAO) (and I've posted them here under pawsedswrite btw!) But some I see as legitamite short stories that I would edit more heavily and present as a short story. They were the kinds I could see myself writing on a document rather than on Discord.

Well, I lied. 'I would edit' is false. I have already edited one, because I spent like 5-6h writing this one PBP (oops) instead of writing the draft for my short story class/elective (oops 2). I joked to my two friends saying that I could just submit it as my assignment. Apparently, they both really liked it and said the dialogued slapped. So I did!

I procrastinated like hell on it though, because I was very nervous to go back into the PBP with an axe to edit it. Being in a writing class where nearly everyone else has been formally studying writing for some years kinda puts some pressure on ya!

Like the last assignment (which I'll post here after editing), I had a lot of worries. But the feedback and grade I got from my last assignment, the peer review I got from the current one, and also the support from those two friends (shoutout @katastrofish <3) made me feel more confident in myself. And also the fact that I had a lot of fun editing the PBP!

Uhhh this ramble was way longer than expected LMFAO if you've made it this far, damn, thanks for reading! If you also write or have similar experiences, feel free to share em. And have a good day!

(bonus POV editing)