#I'm impressed with how much they accounted for players doing things differently

[banditllamas]

I've been replaying chapter 4 so so much and I have discovered A LOT of dialogue from doing things in different orders. I'm going to post all the dialogue from and concerning Elara cause oh my god theres a lot. (Even if its pretty standard "hey go find her" tips)

[rydiathesummoner]

If there's one thing I've improved at while getting older, it's self-reflection and figuring out when I'm being overdramatic about a topic. I liked Dawntrail a lot and had fun, but I did need to reflect a bit with some of my first impressions.

First impression: The Urqopacha trading part was ridiculous, boring, and unrealistic.

After self-reflecting: I grew up poor in a wealthy city. I still have a lot of issues stemming from this. I was annoyed at Wuk Lamat making a fortune from some cotton because that's what people expected from me, even though bootstraps are REALLY heavy and motivational speakers who are all like "I started my fortune from a single cotton seed" are full of shit. That said, no she didn't pull up any magical bootstraps because that not what the feat was about at all. It was about testing her ability learn from her people and adapt to their culture as a potential Dawnservant. Much like the xibruq pibil it was just a contained test. Wuk Lamat didn't become a genius trader overnight at all. My knee-jerk reaction from my own issues colored my opinion. That said, I still think it was boring. I would have liked even some basic "kill monsters" in the middle or something.

First impression: The WoL should have taken Zoraal Ja down when he defeated Gulool Ja. We're literally a walking nuke. We can solve this in 5 minutes.

After reflection: It's easy to infer that Tural isn't looking for Eorzeans to come influence their government or their culture, and that we needed to build up Tural's own warrior of light type person. That said, it was still written poorly. Wuk Lamat could have specified she was wanting mentors only in 6.55 and she was required to do the heavy lifting. Alphinaud could have lectured on the boat that we cannot cause any international incidents while in Tural. He could have given some speech about letting countries resolve their own conflicts without us pushing our beliefs, so Eorzea is not viewed as colonizers. I've learned after decades of office work that if you don't spell things out explicitly, people will interpret even the smallest thing differently. An important concept like non-interference shouldn't have been left up to the player to infer, it should have been explicitly said in the script.

First impression: The scions are written poorly in comparison to previous expansions. Nobody questions ANYTHING. Why have the scions lost their curiosity? People don't ask perfectly reasonable questions like how did Cahciua die? Wouldn't Erenville want to know that? Why didn't anyone take note that there weren't any other mamool ja in Solution 9, so where did Gulool Ja come from, surely someone would at least theorize he's a clone or something? Why didn't Alisae say anything about the levin sickness, she has a lot of experience in people with aether imbalances. In previous expansions Y'shtola would never have politely stayed behind while others explored a new shard. That didn't even make sense.

After reflection: Yeah my opinion here didn't change. I did try considering if I was unfairly comparing to Shadowbringers and Endwalker with its much higher-stakes plot, but nah even taking into account that the scions were taking a backseat in the plot, they still were written out of character for not showing any interest in basic questions.

First impression: Krile was done dirty. Why wasn't her story highlighted more?

After reflection: I don't think this was any malicious intent or that they didn't know what to do with her. I think it was more like Creative Studio 3's current trend of focusing more on building world lore rather than focusing on characters. FFXVI was the exact same way. I didn't give a shit about Northreach rebuilding in FFXVI, Lubor's town, blah blah so I was one of the complainers about the side quests. Same thing happened here, The different regions were... fine? But I missed hearing the thoughts of my friends. You know, the scions. That said, that is strictly my feelings. I am much more of a "characters first" person than a "birds-eye view of the world" person. I accept I may be in the minority on that and I can accept that like FFXVI, I was just not the target demographic. It's possible CS3 has decided that world-building is more profitable. They did give Krile more focus than many others, and taking into account CS3's world focus it was probably enough, just not my personal taste.

First impression: The difficulty spike was too high. I just want to play the story without dying over and over in the dungeons.

After reflection: I'm old. My eyes have never been great. And irl I'm so, SO busy. "Git gud" is no longer an option for me. However, that is not CS3's problem. At some point I'm going to have to accept that I can no longer play this game. Yes that's sad, but part of life is getting older and having to modify your hobbies. Singleplayer game developers are great about adding in accessibility options, I'll just have to back out of this one MMO. I can't expect the young 'uns to put up with an easier game because I can't see the mechanics as quickly as they can, and it's not anyone else's problem that I don't have the time to bash my head against bosses over and over again. 20 years from now the kiddos will have to come to the same realization and the cycle will continue.

[blusical]

Problematic Players and You

(PT: Problematic Players and You)

Trigger Warning: This post discusses several triggering or otherwise sensitive topics, including, but not limited to, abuse sexual assault, bigotry, and violence. Reader discretion is advised. Additional Disclaimer: This is not a post defending the actions of athletes mentioned *nor* is it an attack on said athletes (or their fans!). This is about dealing with serious events involving players as a whole.

Have you ever woke up one day and found out that your favorite race car driver said some not-so savory things? Have you ever checked the news one day and found out a hockey player you love was accused of rape? Are you a new sports fan who did research on an athlete you like only to find out they're a straight up creep? And have you ever asked yourself: “Where the hell do I go from here?” when it comes to merch you’ve already bought or the amount of gifsets you’ve made for them? Well, you’ve come to the right post! Because let’s face it, we’ve (probably) all been there, done that and got the t-shirt (Err, jersey). 

First off, what defines a problematic player?

Well... there's not really a set definition. Everyone has a different idea of what's 'problematic' and what isn't. However, there are some deeds that athletes do that are... kind of ick, so any of the following could make them be considered very problematic:

-Bigotry (ex. Racism, homophobia). -Cheating (as in cheating on your spouses. Not cheating as in using PEDs even though that too is also kinda trashy). -Abuse, sexual assault, etc. -Questionable/not so great political opinions.

And then there’s athletes who’ve been involved in so many off-ice controversies and allegations that it’s reached a point where regardless of how many are true or not, and no matter how much new information is revealed, they won’t be well liked by fans (Patrick Kane, anyone?). Okay, but why do athletes do this crap in the first place?

Well... there's a couple theories on why some do these things.

Sometimes mental and environmental factors can influence an athlete’s decision making. Say, if an athlete was abused by a coach when they were young, that might factor into any actions, good or bad, a player makes in the future. In cases of bigoted opinions, athletes are raised to have such opinions.

Age can also play a factor into a player’s actions. The younger they are, the more likely they’re going to do stupid shit (Or so I've noticed, please correct me if I'm wrong lmfao). Again. The theories are limitless. However most of the time athletes do these things because... they chose to do that. And a part of that is being because sports culture. Yeah. Sports culture sucks. Who would've known?

So do problematic athletes... stay problematic forever?

Well, yes and no.

As much as our first instinct is to “cancel” said athletes and pressure them to take accountability, we should also give them a chance to grow when they do take accountability instead of pushing the issue further.

However, that also depends on if they chose to grow. Hell, it depends if they even admit to making a mistake or admitting to guilt at all (which is, unfortunately, very impressive in a society like this). If they don’t.. Well, that’s their choice. Best we can do as fans beyond that point is just spread awareness. Remember: 99% of the time celebs won't listen to their fans. Some will. But do not expect your favorite to do the right thing. You will be disappointed. Another thing to keep in mind is that even if changes to character are made, people (us included) will still probably continue to view them differently for a while. As much as we’d like to put the past behind us, that just isn’t easy. (And besides, in the long term this is probably a good thing, since as fans it’s not our place to forgive; that’s up to the people affected). Actually while we’re at it..

Help! What should I do when an athlete (including my favorite) gets into controversy?

It’s always stressful (and sad) when an athlete you’ve admired and looked up to is eventually outed as a terrible person. It’s even more stressful when you’re a newer fan to sports and you just find out about said problematic deeds.

Well, first thing's first: process your emotions, and feelings. And once you're done crying, screaming, whatever action you're doing to process your feelings, spread awareness if you feel comfortable enough doing so. When spreading awareness though: DO RESEARCH AND ONLY SHARE RELIABLE SOURCES. Unfortunately serious allegations almost always have misinformation popping out. Hell, sometimes "allegations" may just be someone causing trouble on the internet (Corey Perry situation, anyone?). If the source is from a random Twitter user (that doesn't work in journalism), or the source is from a site like Deadspin and/or TMZ or any other site that has a history of clickbait, odds are, it's best to take it with a grain of salt. Team fansites (like RMNB, a Caps site) are also not always reliable, so take caution when reading through them as well.

It's better to stick with actually known sources like ESPN, Bleacher Report or a journalist like Elliotte Friedman. Rick Westhead and Katie Strang are really good journalists when it comes to issues relating to hockey. Additionally, do not expect to know *all* the information. Do not demand all information to come out. Sometimes not everything can be shared for legal reasons. Be patient and wait for everything to come out. And even then, don't expect it to be everything that happened (because again, legal reasons). Also, don't expect other people to talk about the incident in question! Do not guilt others into discussing it, do not force others to post about it. Focus on what you can do before focusing on what others can do! After most information (if not all of it), it's up to you to come to your own conclusions. Lastly, regardless of what your decision is, whether you decide to stop supporting them or you choose to believe they did nothing wrong (for any reason), but you're stuck on what to do anyway... Well... and this is probably anticlimactic I know, what to do is... up to you!

Internet wise, your internet space is your space! Your Tumblr blog is your blog! If you wanna stop posting about that player and also delete every single mention of said player outside of spreading awareness? Great! That’s your choice! Wanna keep said posts up but tag them and/or add a disclaimer! Also great! Wanna keep posting them or writing fics about them? Completely fine! Just tag it accordingly and keep in mind why these folks may not like said players. And *please* continue to be critical of said players when they do something wrong. Your favorite is not immune to criticism.

(In other words, yes Hawks fans, you’re allowed to post your Kane gifs and 1988 fics. Just tag it accordingly. And just know that people *will* probably judge you for it).

One thing you should not do however: DO NOT CENSOR NAMES. This fucks with filters and screenreaders (More in-depth post on this here!).

And because apparently this still needs to be said, don’t wish injury or death on the players and for the love of Wayne Gretzky don’t fucking send harassment to their families (seriously why do people do this fucking garbage holy fuck).

Secondly, don’t buy their jerseys or other merchandise from official sites! They will profit off that. If you've already brought it, don't just throw it out. Instead, leave it in storage, sell it or, if you're good at tailoring, try making something new out of it! Additionally (especially in cases of rape, violence, etc), SUPPORT THE VICTIMS INVOLVED. They need it the most.

What about the folks that continue to support said athletes?

If someone continues to post an athlete that’s done not great things, it’s tempting to educate them and tell them (which, if you’re going to do so, please tell them gently and not yell at them, especially if they’re a newer or younger fan who has zero clue what’s going on) But if they already know (which odds are they probably do unless they’re a newer fan), and/or they refuse to stop posting about them after being told, the best plan of action is to just… leave them alone. Just leave them be. Do not bother them further. Do not harass them. Do not send them threats. And for goodness gracious don’t make a callout post or blocklist of every single supporter of said athlete.

(Seriously attempting to make a long blocklist never ends well, especially since half the time the users on said blocklist turn out to be literal children).

That said though, if your friends/mutuals are actively defending bigoted comments and/or making statements that borderline towards abuse apologism, it’s not a bad idea to hold them accountable in a private setting. Yes I said private setting because most drama can be avoided with a private DM. But other than that... someone still writes 1988 fic? Leave them be! Someone still makes gifsets of Alex Ovechkin? Leave them be! Hell, someone still talks about the Staals? Just leave them be! The best course of action is to… just use the block button and/or filter posts accordingly. That’s literally it lmfao.

But why do people continue to support these athletes anyway?

Well it all comes down to the following: A. They have trouble grappling with the fact that they are, in fact, problematic. B. They’re Neurodivergent (especially autistic or individuals with ADHD), or struggling IRL, and kinda rely on those people to function or get through the day. 

C. Detaching yourself from a problematic figure is… really easier said than done. It is not easy at all lmfao. D. They're refuse to listen to info. E. They genuinely have no clue what's going on. Either way. Don't judge too harshly. Not everyone can just stop supporting a person/media and guess what? It's not as easy as 99% of Tumblr dot com thinks. Not everyone can just stop enjoying/liking something. And guess what? That's actually O-KAY. Last thing to know.

Lastly, you, yourself, *could* probably be supporting a problematic player right now! And you would never know until much later! At the end of the day, 99% of athletes have done problematic things one way or another. And honestly, if we tried to get rid of every problematic person... there probably wouldn't be any people left on Earth at all. Yeah, some actions are more shittier than ever, but trying to make everything "unproblematic"... is never going to work no matter how you look at it, and that is OKAY.

Remember the most important rule (stolen from someone on discord with the second edited by me!):

Now get out there and cheer for whatever player you'd like.

(Special thanks to @hard4softthings @saucerfulofsins @tapejob @youneedtolookatthis @restingbuchface @bedardconnor and a bunch of other folks for providing most of the advice/info/tips for this post!)

[ac-liveblogs]

Manshine City vs Bastard Munchen Part 2 "Oops I stopped Reading For Two Weeks" Edition

Last time: Nagi stood underneath Reo's window with a boombox and asked him to take him back. Reo, who swore he didn't need Nagi and was going to do this for HIMSELF, flings himself out the window.

I do like that Isagi is trying to master-mind the field 'oooh I can predict your every move!', theoretically Kaiser is doing the exact same thing, and they still fail to account for each other and completely fuck up their Pro Strats. I swear, Kaiser is just if the Isagi That Plays Soccer existed off the field as well as on it.

GOD Reo's inner monologue. "We split up once... we followed different paths..." ONE it's been like a month absolute tops TWO I maintain that Reo and Nagi exist in a totally different genre than the rest of the cast.

(Tbh I'm a little disappointed the Reo-Nagi drama seems to have resolved so easily, though there might still be tension outside of the field. I doubt Nagi's going to try and split up with Reo again at this point. Gotta wrap up these character arcs and move on, save the real meat for Episode Nagi in 4 years. Which is a shame, because given how batshit things were back in Blue Lock Reo absolutely Losing It was one of the things I was looking forward to most. What, he can't be too crazy in the insane soccer manga?)

Kaiser and Isagi, you two are my only hope... I need a murder attempt, c'mon...

I don't know enough about soccer to say if a two-stage volley is an 'insane, godly move' but I think a 5-stage anything has got to be pretty impressive. Who knew Nagi could be bothered to count that high. (I know Nagi didn't actually punt Isagi in the face but it sure looked like it, I was taken aback for a second.)

I love the way Nagi's 'ego' manifests on the pitch too, it's great. Gets really hyped up for a little bit of a game, gets super intense, trashtalks like a champ, I am a GOD routine, scores an absolutely insane fucking goal, goes 'yep that's all I wanted' and powers down mid-game. It's not over yet but he did what he came for! He's just like me forreal

"If not for the simple fact that Nagi doesn't know how to play this game, he would be unstoppable!!!" - Reo Mikage, probably

Agi... Reo... guys... chill

Chris' absolute lack of class is the funniest thing about him. This match is being televised, don't go calling your opponent a slut again.

Isagi "I have every tool I need to beat Kaiser except actually being better at this game than him!" Yoichi

Noa's just watching his team burn around him like "hmm. Excellent."

Chigiri throwing his hat into the 'dumb eye power' ring with a truly outstanding entry.

I know Kunigami is in this game, it just really doesn't feel like Kunigami is in this game. The match is losing track of Chigiri as well, I got a little surprised when he popped back up. I know the lack of synergy is on purpose due to the 'every man's either out for himself or the guy he's mentally ill about' aspect/'build your team around the striker' philosophy, but it does make the teams feel really uneven when the only characters that tend to matter are the Strikers + whoever's supporting them at the moment. It wasn't so bad when they were playing with limited teams, but right now half the teams feel like total space filler.

(The whole 'guaranteed shot' thing feels a bit... insulting to the concept of goalies/defense players too. I don't know much about soccer but it does feel like a major dick move LOL. To be fair, Gagamaru is not a goalie. Does Bastard Munchen not have a goalie better at goal-keeping than 'guy with hard head that doesn't play this role normally'.)

But yeah seriously Kunigami went to an ambiguous soccer torture camp to get his whole personality destroyed and for what. This? He doesn't even get to pretend to be the biggest threat on the field for even one game. Give that man a refund. Or at least some free therapy.

"go... the world's most random shot... even i don't know where it's going!!!" that is NOT impressive that's what i do every time I kick a ball. maybe i should be a pro soccer player. i could beat noel noa

Isagi has some nerve being shocked that Yukimiya is sabotaging him because ~they're on the same team~ yeah okay whatever dude and what was your end-goal here again

man, these matches just keep getting longer and longer despite the fact that they're aiming for way less goals...

[officialralsei]

[…]

..I ALSO NOTICED THAT YOUR FOURTH FINGER TO THUMB CROSSOVER. SOUNDED A BIT UNEVEN. THIS IS GENERALLY A MATTER OF PHYSICAL TECHNIQUE. ENSURE THAT YOU MAINTAIN RELAXATION IN YOUR PALM. AND LEAD WITH YOUR THUMB. RATHER THAN YOUR WRIST. 

Oh, um, does this sound a little better?

LET ME LISTEN.

…

…YES, THAT IS MUCH SMOOTHER. WELL DONE.

YOU ARE IMPROVING VERY QUICKLY, RALSEI. I AM IMPRESSED. DO YOU HAVE ANY MORE QUESTIONS. BEFORE WE CONCLUDE THE SESSION?

Umm… not really! I'm glad you think I'm learning really fast. I've been trying my best, haha!

So, um… I've been thinking. It's strange that the mediums people perceive me with over this connection seem to differ sometimes, isn't it? You can hear my voice and what I'm doing, even if I'm typing instead of speaking. The PLAYERs only see text. Tenna told me in TVLand that she can see me as if I'm on a TV screen when I answer her questions. And the way things were described over the text the PLAYERs can view changed when I was in TVLand, too, when it came to the televised conversations we had there. Even when I made sure there were no cameras nearby… it's fascinating, right?

…TRULY, IT IS. I AM TOLD THAT MY INITIAL CONNECTION TO THE “PLAYERS.” WAS IN THE FORM OF THE USURPATION OF… A SIGNIFICANT PERSON’S INTERNET ACCOUNT.  

IT IS A STRANGE THING TO PONDER, THE NATURE OF THESE THOROUGHFARES. CHOSEN BY FATE TO DELIVER ITS WILL.

It is. Every medium has its advantages, right? Just like every medium has its limitations. A lot of information can slip through every medium, too, even when you don't expect it to… it's very, very interesting.

…

…I, um… anyway, I've been thinking other things too, since that conversation we had before I went away. About being alone, and, um… about fate. I…

…I guess, um. I don't know that I've really ever thanked you enough. For teaching me piano. I know it's difficult over this connection. And I guess… um, I do know that it makes you happy, but it is a lot of effort, even if you do like doing it. So thank you. Really.

…

CERTAINLY, RALSEI. IT IS OF NO TROUBLE AT ALL. AS YOU SAID YOURSELF, IT MAKES ME HAPPY. NOT ONLY BECAUSE IT IS SOMETHING MORE CONCRETE. THAT I CAN DO FOR YOU. BUT ALSO BECAUSE I MAY NEVER HAVE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS. TO SHARE AN ARTISTIC PURSUIT I USED TO LOVE. WITH SOMEBODY I CARE ABOUT.

…

YOU SOUND LIKE YOU HAVE… SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND.

…You care about me?

OF COURSE I DO. I MAY NOT BE THE BEST… …GUARDIAN. BUT I DO CARE ABOUT YOU VERY, VERY MUCH. AND WISH FOR YOU TO BE TRULY HAPPY.

AND FOR THAT, I WILL TRY MY HARDEST. TO SEE IT COME TO PASS.

…DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE. THAT I DID NOT CARE ABOUT YOU, RALSEI…?

…

…I… ummm. I think I… um, I've always been able to see… how you talk about me, I guess. And I know by now that you do care. You wouldn't say the things you do if you didn't. But I…

…I'm not used to hearing it, haha. Maybe I just need to get used to the idea.

…OH, RALSEI…

I AM SORRY THAT I AM NOT MORE… EMOTIONALLY OPEN. I ALREADY DID NOT EASILY WEAR MY HEART ON MY SLEEVE. BUT FOR EVERYTHING I SAY. TO BE HEARD BY SO MANY. AND BY SOME WHO WISH TO TURN THAT AGAINST ME… IT IS THAT MUCH MORE DIFFICULT. TO ALLOW MYSELF THAT VULNERABILITY.

…YOU CERTAINLY UNDERSTAND THAT FEELING.

…Yeah. Yeah, haha. It's okay. I, um. I think it's… nice to hear. Thank you for saying it.

…I've been thinking that, um. Since you asked me to… um. To open myself up to the possibility of pain. If this is what you and the PLAYERs want to see from me… I need to be better at it. Even if it's just a little bit… telling you I'm happy you care about me is good, isn't it? And that I'm, um... glad you're keeping your promises.

…

…IF THAT IS WHAT YOU BELIEVE YOU NEED TO DO… YES. IT IS. IT IS MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH.

…

…I KNOW THAT YOU MUST DO. WHAT YOUR PURPOSE REQUIRES OF YOU, BUT… PLEASE. DO NOT PUSH YOURSELF TOO HARD, RALSEI. IT IS DIFFICULT TO SEE YOU. FORCE YOURSELF PAST YOUR LIMITS.

It's okay! It's okay. Even if it won't end up being just you who sees me say this… it's alright. I'll learn something from it no matter what, anyway.

WHAT…? I HAD THOUGHT…

…I HAVE NOT HEARD THE “PLAYERS” MAKE REFERENCE. TO ANYTHING WE DISCUSSED DURING YOUR PREVIOUS LESSON. THAT IS, OF COURSE. VERY UNCHARACTERISTIC FOR THEM, SO I… I ASSUMED THAT THESE CONVERSATIONS WERE PRIVATE. 

….

…THEY HEARD ALL OF THIS, THEN…?

Maybe not all. They didn't hear some of my conversations in TVLand, either. But we'll find out whether this one gets seen, won't we? Haha.

[...]

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

if you click this unrebloggable minor ew vent post it's on you

glad i decided to nope out of watching this part of the stream, seeing chat call g'raha's bullshit in ultima thule "sweet and well-written" makes me convinced people wouldn't recognize bad character writing if it hit them with a truck

maybe if the writers ever took into account that his characterization is that of a manipulative asshole it would be good, because he is incredibly consistent on being a specific growth form of asshole, but they so clearly think his bullshit is cute and not bullshit so he's completely fucking unbearable to have pushed to the fore this much

maybe during dt they'll keep him offscreen long enough that i don't want to give him a one-way trip to the bottom of the ocean anymore

(this all would be less of an issue if a specific breed of g'raha fan weren't incredibly obnoxious if you so much as breathe in a way they dislike in his direction even when it's untagged, up there with the zenos hater reply guys (gender-neutral) for most prominent obnoxious people in this fandom (note obnoxious rather than actively harmful, those have overlaps with harmful groups but this is about people who are annoying)

granted, i also thought a lot of the ultima thule writing up to the dungeon was not that good. thancred and estinien are the only ones allowed to have any kind of tension, but they keep acting like the tension is at max the entire way through and it's just fucking not. you can try to argue that the characters don't know you'll succeed, but Y'shtola blowing the lid on the whole thing should have had more impact than it did on how the characters treated it. Also, having the two characters who are a single fakeout death apart (I have seen enough people 100% convinced that Zenos killed Y'shtola in stb that yes, I count it, and if you don't you're being disingenuous because they clearly want the player to think she's dead for a moment given that she has special textures for it) fakeout die AGAIN is just cheap emotional shots.

And maybe if EW had been allowed to actually heavily address any of 6.0 in its patches I would feel better about the weaknesses, because 3.0 has a lot of weaknesses that I felt were well-addressed in 3.x patches and I ended up with HW as my favorite expac! But EW's instead three expansions in a trench coat and they're not only not covered by the trenchcoat they're on the ground bc they fell over when they tried to add the third. The one aspect 6.0 skimmed over for pacing that 6.x does heavily address (garlemald) it addresses in different ways every time it comes up!

(thavnair doesn't really get addressed as a location in the 6.x msq, it's mostly about vrtra... which would be fine, if they hadn't decided to do ff4 but worse at the same time. and i say this thinking ff4's writing is very mid when viewed without nostalgia goggles, even if it was impressive for the console and era (and like, mid ain't bad given the technological limitations! i'm just sick of people acting like it's the best jrpg story in existence). just next to no effort to reinterpret it like they did with ct, weapons (i don't like the writing there at all but they did a lot of work to make it uniquely 14 and not "as seen in ff7"!), or the various scattered 5 nods.)

haterade empty. in conclusion i will be glad to see this expansion's back bc it's the only expansion where my opinion of it actively worsened as patches went on. e: honestly. i also would be glad to just stop having people crawl up my ass for criticizing ew's msq. i know that the loporrits are there to decompress, it doesn't change that i think they suck up way too much air for too long in an extreme pressed-for-time expac and, worst of all for a walking comedy routine, often aren't fucking funny in mandatory content. I can understand why something is there and still think it sucks shit in execution.

[lightsburnbrite]

What We Keep Secrets For: Part 1

Sam looked at her work phone and furrowed her brow. She knew there was a new signing that was going to be announced so she'd assume that her work for the day would have consisted of shooting and editing that but instead her boss was sending her out to the airport. At this point, it wouldn't have surprised her if it was actually an errand run and not work related.

Officially, her job title was associate social media manager. While Sam didn't choose what content was posted to the various social media accounts of FC Bayern München, she was responsible for creating and editing a large chunk of it. In the past, new singings for the club were only announced via the traditional press conference but recently, Thomas, her boss, had been wanting to mix things up.

After making sure she had her bag packed with all her camera equipment and an extra power bank for the work phone, she stood by the door and waited for the car service to arrive. If there was a bright side to having to travel, it was that she didn't have to coordinate it.

When the car pulled on to the tarmac, Sam resigned herself to knowing that she'd have no clue what was going on until Thomas actually told her. Pulling up behind a bright red Audi, the car parked and Sam thanked the driver before getting out. To her right, she saw a group of men standing in conversation before Thomas emerged. 

"Great, you're here." Thomas half guided, half shoved her towards the rest of the group. "Get your phone out and start recording as soon as he deboards the plane. You'll be capturing as much of his first moments here as possible."

Sam wanted to ask who "he" was but she also knew the name would probably mean nothing to her. She didn't have long to linger on the thought as the jet soon appeared from the taxiway. Pulling out her phone, she set the camera to record as soon as the door opened. Soon, she watched four men leave the jet and she immediately knew which the new signing was. 

Obviously her job included observing the players both in person and in various forms of media so she wasn't used to the presence of professional athletes. Still, Sam found herself impressed but the player making his way towards her. She could tell that he had an impressively solid build yet at the same time, he was jovial with everyone he came in contact with. While some players had tried to remain cool and unemotional during their signing day coverage, this man appeared thrilled to be here and it seemed genuine.

"Matthijs, this is Samira Klein, one of our social media editors." Thomas introduced her to the player who immediately held his hand out in greeting. 

Sam had watched as he did the typical "bro hug" with everyone so she was slightly apprehensive that this substantial figure was going to do the same to her. She was pleasantly surprised when he simply squeezed her hand and looked her square in the eye. "Very nice to meet you."

The rest of the day was filled with moving from place to place, including a stop at the Isar, where Matthijs was asked to retrieve his new trikot from a bottle floated his way. There were photoshoots and silly little getting to know the player videos and medical tests, Sam being there to document all of it. When there finally seemed to be a pause, Matthijs came and sat down next to her. 

"Was it Samira?"

"Yeah," She nodded, "Well, I prefer Sam."

"Ah," He nodded. Well, thanks for hanging out. It's been a long day."

"I'm sorry." Sam laughed to herself as she shook her head.

Matthijs looked back at her quizzically. "What are you apologizing for?"

"It's just," She shrugged. "I feel like I've spent the whole day following you around like this weird little shadow. It must be annoying."

He simply laughed. "Not at all. I'm used to the whole media aspect of things but when you look at it this way, how many different places have we gone today?"

"A lot." Sam paused, wondering where he was going with this. "It's been a long day so far."

"Right." Matthijs smiled broadly. "But, you have been the only consistent presence. You're like an old friend by now."

When Sam continued to look skeptical, he winked. "But, you're right it has been a long day. I was kinda hoping you'd do me one more favor."

"What might that be?" Raising an eyebrow, Sam was intrigued.

"So," He laced his fingers behind his head. "My friends are going to meet up with me in the States and then come back here with me once the team returns but right now, I'm all by myself. I was going to invite you to get some dinner with me."

Pressing her lips together, Sam smiled. "You're lucky I'm starving."

"Fantastic then." Matthijs bit his lower lip and held up one ring. "Slight problem-"

This time, Sam laughed. "You don't know where to eat, do you?"

With a disarming, child-like innocence, he responded by shaking his head.

"What hotel are you staying at right now?" Same tried not to laugh at him as he pulled out a slip of paper.

"Ah," He held the paper up. "The Mandarin Oriental."

Sam pulled a face and shook her head. "Yeah, I don't know about you, but I don't really feel like having to dress up just to eat food tonight."

"Good point." He nodded solemnly. "And I have no idea where my luggage is right now anyway."

As soon as the words were spoken, Matthijs could no longer keep a straight face. 

Sam smirked, thinking to herself how easy Matthijs was to be around. "There's an excellent pizza place that's close to the Mandarin Oriental. Does that work?"

"Well, I'm kinda at your mercy here, aren't I?" Again, he beamed a smile at her and Sam could only shake her head.

"Ok," She continued to laugh. "I'll have the car service take us back to my place and then I'll drive us there." 

The car pulled up to Sam's apartment and she stowed her gear in the hatch of her Volkswagen GTI indicating that Matthijs should get in the passenger side. 

Sam wanted to laugh at the face Matthijs pulled as he tried to fold his legs into the "You can move the seat back, you know."

"So I won't be messing the position up for your boyfriend then?" Matthijs looked straight ahead, avoiding Sam's line of vision as he adjusted the seat. 

She tired to hide her scoff as she shook her head. "No need to worry about that."

Matthijs let out a little sound of surprise but left it at that. Sam decided to have a little fun while they were on the subject. "What about you? Isn't your girlfriend going to be joining you here?"

"Eh," He shrugged. "She broke up with me when I moved to Italy two years ago."

Sam immediately frowned. "Oh. Sorry."

Matthijs looked over at her, raising the corner of his mouth in not exactly a smile or a smirk. "I've had enough time to work through it."

"Oh!" Sam called out in excitement as she found a parking spot right down the street from the restaurant.  

As soon as they were seated, she ordered two Aperol spritzes and a Caprese pizza for them, prompting Matthijs to laugh again. "I do like a woman who knows what she wants." 

They got settled and a somewhat easy silence developed but Sam was noticing that she felt slightly off kilter around him. "So, um, sorry but I don't follow football much." 

Matthijs looked back at her quizzically. "Why are you apologizing for that?"

"I dunno." Sam shrugged as she took a sip. "I was out at a club once and a guy bought me a drink and was then offended that I didn't know who he was."

"Well, you know that I do. Did you agree to dinner because of my job?"

Sam instantly shook her head. "No. I've watched you all day do some pretty silly things like stand in the river or holding up a pretzel as apron and you did everything with this huge smile on your face. Never once did you act like you had better things to be doing or that you were annoyed at having cameras in you face the whole day. You seem like a very nice guy and I don't like the thought of you being lonely."

"Ok." He tilted his head and took a sip. "So then don't think of me as my job. Think of me as, you know, me."

Sam pressed her lips together and nodded. "I can do that."

He smiled back at her. "Good. Now, what about you, Sam not Samira?"

"What about me?" She let out a little nervous laugh, not one to enjoy the scrutiny no matter how benign. 

Their pizza was placed on the table along with plates and silverware. They both waited as the server placed a slice in front of each of them.

"You're the media person." He took a bite, deliberately drawing out his question. "Was that your ultimate goal or is that a stop on the way to something else?"

Sam paused. He really seemed like a nice guy but she didn't feel like delving into her whole life when she'd probably never see him again. "I didn't seek this job out, it kind of fell into my lap."

Matthijs continued to eat his pizza and Sam realized he was waiting for her to finish answering his question. "It's kinda weird, photography is what I really enjoy. I've thought about how to make a career out of it but aside from something like photojournalism or like, portraits, I don't know how to make that feasible. I'm actually a trained archivist, I went to school for that, but there are so, so few openings in the field tat I can't even get my foot in the door for an interview."

She found herself inexplicably irritated. "I guess it's not like with football where you figure out that you're pretty good as a kid and then just works towards a professional career."

Scrunching his mouth, Matthijs shrugged. "Maybe. But at the same time, most other careers you can continue on with. I'll be finished by mid to late thirties and then I'll need to figure out something else to do."

"I didn't mean to imply that you had it easy or whatever." 

"No, I know." He interrupted. "And, it's easy for me to say just go for your dream job as if there aren't possible financial repercussions. It's one of those grass is greener situations."

Sam found herself searching his face. "How old are you?"  

"I'll be 23 next month." He smiled again. "Why?"

She gestured vaguely. "You have a youthful face, like you look young but you have a wise beyond your years type thing going on."

When Matthijs raised an eyebrow, she felt prompted to continue. "That's a compliment, by the way."

"Good." He allowed himself to laugh. "That's how I took it. But since we're there, how old are you?"

Despite her best efforts, Sam felt her cheeks flush. "I turned 22 last week."

"Happy birthday, then." Matthijs smirked. 

Offering a smile, a silent thank you, Sam decided to steer the conversation back towards him. "Are you going to join up with the rest of the team in the States?"

"I leave first thing in the morning, another reason I'm grateful for this little bit of normalcy." He beamed a smiled towards her. "Are they sending you too?"

Still chewing, Sam shook her head. "No, I stayed here and the crew that's over there already has been sending me things to put out."

"Oh," Matthijs caught himself before he actually frowned. 

Sam gave a half-hearted shrug. "Apparently it's already pretty crowded with the current crew. You'll have to keep me updated on how it goes meeting the rest of the team."

After Matthijs insisted on paying the bill, Sam drove him to the hotel. They sat out front for a moment before Matthijs turned to her and smiled. "Really, thank you for dinner. I appreciate the company."

Sam had just put the key in her apartment door when she felt her phone vibrate.

You home? Can I come over?  

[saltymongoose]

Y’know how there’s fan clubs and fanfiction and Player x Reader stuff?

What if the main four found it, or other people outside of the Reader fan club. I’m pretty sure 2bDamned would secretly use these to try and satisfy his suppressed needs only to find himself needing Reader like ten times more.

Hank would be jealous and try to kill the poor authors probably.

Idk about the rest but the idea of them constantly fawning over Reader even when they’re not around would be adorable.

I love this idea so much, thank you lol. I'm not quite sure how it would work chronologically for the Main Four, but let's say for brevity's sake that you happened to control them somehow before coming into Nevada and visiting the Nexus (also starting off their knowledge of and obsession with you in the process). The most likely scenario is that Doc and Deimos find a multitude of emails when they're going through a database. They immediately stop skimming the paragraphs once they realize the actual subject of them, going from bored to completely enthralled in an instant. The Nexus Core workers wrote fanfiction about you? And had dedicated clubs for it and your "fans"? They all reacted to it a bit differently.

To begin with those who first found them, Deimos kinda grows addicted to reading the fanfics? They fuel his already abundant daydreams about what being in a relationship with you will be like, giving him new ideas to think about and consider when he plans out dates and things like that. Don't get him wrong, he's a bit (extremely) jealous that all of these grunts have met you in person before him, but the content they make just gets him more excited to finally have you in front of him. He also probably makes a sock puppet account so he can infiltrate the chats they have to get more of the fics directly and fawn over you with the Nexus workers lol.

Doc is similar, but he initially uses them as a way to "act out" any fantasies he's been focusing on in his head to try and get them out of his system before he goes to work. He figures if he spends a few hours immersing himself in content about you, his brain might get tired of it just enough to allow him some actual focus. It doesn't work though. The temptation of having stories about you at his fingertips is something he can't help but fall into, and he has to catch himself before he spends the entire day reading story after story about you. It's worse because the writers have actually seen you up close, so he knows the details about the way your eyes appear, how you smell, or the little mannerisms you have are probably accurate. It only makes his obsession with you larger, and his yearning to actually meet you himself reaches a new high. He has to see you now, he needs to. Soon he's going back to the emails to find any information regarding your precise location. It'll bring the SQ in direct conflict with the Nexus Core if he isn't careful, but he doesn't care. Getting you was vital, no matter the consequence.

Hank is angry once he learns about it. He feels he should've expected it; you're absolutely perfect in his eyes, so of course people would fawn over you like this. However, the fact that someone other than him is doing it and having romantic fantasies makes him incredibly jealous. The fact that these grunts supposedly "know" you only makes it worse, since he considered them legitimate threats to your impending relationship. In all likelihood, he'll make a point of "visiting" any Nexus facilities they mention to get rid of as much of his competition as possible. Besides, maybe you'll even be impressed by his efforts. They are proof of his love, after all.

Sanford's a little ashamed by how much he finds himself liking them, and mortified by the thought of you finding out. As such, they're a complete guilty pleasure for him. Seriously, he's red with embarrassment the entire time he reads the words and he actually has to take a break if the fic gets a bit too hot and heavy (let's just say that Sanford's vivid imagination runs a little wild with this lol). He's self-aware to the extreme here, worried that you know about the fics' existence and thinks they're creepy so he'll be considered creepy by extension, it's a whole jumbled mess. And yet, he can't help himself. He's honestly a little jealous of how your "fan club" is so open about their love for you, but that's overshadowed by how envious he is that they've actually met you. It makes him wonder how much of these scenarios you'd actually do, cause they must've been inspired by something, right?

As for the others outside of the main four, Hofnarr is well aware of his worker's escapades related to you, and he feels a little conflicted. On one hand, he knows you personally, so he thinks it's very improper to be indulging in fantastical stories about you behind your back. (Especially with the more...risque things the Nexus Core grunts come up with.) But on the other hand, they're very entertaining? At least, that's the excuse he comes up with for reading them. (It's totally not because you're so busy that he finds himself yearning for more of your presence at all times, of course not, that'd be so selfish-) As for the fan clubs, let's just say he's a valued patron for some of their merchandise and may or may not be considered a senior member (even if it's honorary).

Contrary to popular belief, Jeb does have some idea of the stuff the Nexus Core does with regards to you. It'd be weirder for him not to, especially after finding a keychain with your face on it in one of Hofnarr's desk drawers. But he isn't clued in on the fanfics about you, which is lucky for the Nexus grunts considering his horrified reaction to Phobos' own works. He just thinks the trinkets they make are an innocent form of idolization; it's not like their devotion towards you could ever come close to his, so he sees no reason to intervene too much. (Outside of maybe keeping them from interacting with you for prolonged periods, if he sees them getting a little too comfy in your presence.) Although he's also seriously considering asking Hofnarr to get him some item related to you.

[ridreamir]

Bro I just had an idea

So, a personal HC of mine is where the player that falls in Hisui forgets their past life, but has still somehow retained all of their knowledge on Pokémon. So like whenever Laventon or Rei is with them, and sees a new Pokémon, like a Goomy for example, the player just “oh yeah that’s a Goomy.” and spits out knowledge no one knew about it.

I imagine it absolutely baffles people when they do it, but people get so interested they can’t help but listen, and bonus points if they start yammering on about a Pokémon that’s not even in Hisui. Like Oddish(the Mon I originally thought was for the three-leaves request), or Aerodacytl.

And if you’re still on an Ingo kick, extra bonus points with a side of brownies if they start delving into a Pokédex-brain rant and start talking about a “Unovain Zoroark” and a “Basculin that can’t evolve”.

That one springy tail quest (I won't spoil!) had me thinking that spoink was in the game, so I'm definitely with you there! The actual answer wasn't my first thought when I read the quest's hint, hahaha! I'm still trying to keep author commentary short, so I'll stop rambling now and get to it!

.

. Even though you're considerably the most clueless person in all of Hisui given your lack of fashion sense, etiquette, and overall understanding of anything diplomatic, it's a bit of a trade off in comparison to how well you do with Pokemon. Well, mostly. Sometimes you get a little... confused. How you managed to even find an Oddish in the land of Hisui, no one quite knows, but Laventon has been so perplexed he's made a collage board of possible ways the Pokemon could have gotten here, though the lady who asked for a Pokemon with three leaves had been quite impressed with your dedication. That wouldn't be the last time you'd done something similar... One conversation with an Alolan Native later and you've been wondering where all the Meowth, Spoink, all of these different Pokemon species you can think of being found in Sinnoh-- Hisui, have gone, and why they're not here. You've been wracking your mind to try to figure it out. Had most of the modern species been stowaways, the result of foreigners inhabiting the land? Were they simply in hiding still, waiting for peaceful times before they'd show themselves once more? There are myths out there that you know of for certain that might account for the lack of species in the region. Laventon of course greatly enjoyed it when you rambled out in the field about how "Wingull" should be along the coastline and how "Caterpie" should have been super common to the point that even children could capture them without a problem before, because a few of the Pokemon you've named he's actually been familiar with, which leads to an even greater mystery-- Where did you come from for you to know so much about Pokemon?

Even better, for those he didn't know, does that mean they without a shadow of doubt exist? Even the few that are nothing but myths according to the education he received when he was still studying in Galar? It's all incredibly fascinating. However, you're not the first person to go on about things like this. And by no surprise, sometimes when sitting in on lunch with both Ingo and yourself, Laventon and Rei get to hear all sorts of outlandish stories shared between the two of you-- the resident time and space stowaways. The fact that your stories both line up is what makes this so much more incredibly eerie. Warden Ingo doesn't have all of his memory intact, so for the continuities to be shared between the two of your separate recollections, there's got to be some amount of truth to it after all. And, well, neither Laventon or Rei can really imagine a Zorua with short black fur, nor an aggressive Basculin with red or blue stripes, and definitely not a tiny red Braviary (It's not really that tiny, but they've incorrectly imagined a Starly sized Rufflet with red feathers), but they're growing even more eager for the expeditions of the future when they can possibly meet such fascinating Pokemon! Perhaps that's why Arceus has elected to keep the two of you in Hisui for the time being after all.

[yournameyn]

Feeling Deeply

Genre: Fluff so much fluff. Arranged Marriage fic.

Pairing: Namjoon x OC

A/N: Aaaaaa this is the first fic I'm posting ever ever. It's basically a way to follow the red thread of my desires. OC is named Brishti. She's Indian. She's Bengali & curvy & an introvert. This whole fic is 90% going to be a slow burn fluff fic about two introvert nerds getting to know each other. Seriously there's like hardly any real angst, maybe slight angst about okay when are these two going to bang - if you look very carefully but basically its just slooooow fluuuufff. Hopefully you all like it. Please let me know what you think. Current Chapter: This one is loooong. Remember this is all happening in the 1960s. OC & Namjoon are both really well off first gen immigrants. In this chapter we have our couple coming closer together - talking about some issues they've both had in their lives. Also this is the chapter where you'll get to know one of my favourite Namjoon songs and like why the OC is named what she's named. Also just a reminder because im a bit paranoid - Rim Jhim (referred to as Rim) is our OC Brishti. Its a pet name that's introduced in this chapter. And Namjoon being the wordsmith that he is makes it shorter, with the korean meaning of the word.

Previously in Feeling Deeply: Preface-ish Chapter 1

Chapter 2

And so it went for the next few days, the two of them quietly discovering each other. They were finding out the normal, casual, small things - how he didn’t like mint chocolate, how she loved bitter black coffee. Since both of them worked, they decided to split the chores at home. It worked out great because Namjoon liked to sweep & Brishti loved to do the dishes. They both struggled to cook but they decided to learn how to cook each other’s cuisines. So she was learning how to make kimchi (the green onion one) & he was learning how to prepare daal (the yellow one). They split the rent & decided to create a separate bank account for their savings. Talking about money increased warmth because they discovered that neither valued it excessively.

Slowly, they began talking about things a little more intimate. Meanings of names were revealed. She was impressed that his name meant genius. And he loved that hers meant rain. Pet names were introduced. He called her Rim - an even shorter version of her daak naam Rim Jhim. He told her to call him Joon. She looked away, smiling, then - silently telling him they’re not there yet. What he didn’t tell her was that he was already making up a fairytale about Joon, the genius & Rim, the brilliant jade that makes him so.

They spoke about books the most. Between them, they had half the globe's literature covered. She had read Indian authors & Russian & Spanish ones. He loved Korean authors, Japanese literature & all the Greek Classics. He geeked out about philosophy & poetry while she nerded over nature writing & music. They spoke about how they might take a look at other European writers & musicians together. To that end, Namjoon brought home a book of love poems by Rilke.

He hadn’t told her that he wrote poetry too. He hadn’t mentioned anything because it seemed like an indulgence of the past, poetry. But that night everything changed. After a late dinner, Brishti had asked to read aloud from the book he’d brought. As she read ‘To Music’, Namjoon saw tears float in her eyes. Secretly, something inside him had wept too. And just like that, he knew he would begin writing soon.

Each week the two watched late shows of classic hollywood musicals in a nearby theatre because they’d decided against a tv in their home - opting, instead, for a record player. Meeting for a movie each of the two Fridays they’d spent together so far was an experience both looked forward to - not only for the movie. In the darkness of the movie theatre, they experienced the first glimpses of intimacy. Soft smiles, whispering, silent glances, hands caressing each other. He loved how she laughed with abandon. She loved that he would tear up during the emotional scenes.

Her smile was getting wider, warmer toward him, Namjoon noted everyday. He’d been sleeping separately since their wedding night because he wanted her to feel safe. He was mostly okay with that except if he thought about it… If he thought about a time when he would get to touch her - Namjoon almost felt dizzy with feelings.

This happened the most when he saw her read by the window, he ached to touch her. That was her - Brishti - that was who she was at her core. Reading, running her fingers through her short hair, staring out the window, thinking, looking at clouds & then going back to reading. She was still quiet, but less so. She spoke about the rain and the trees and when she was happiest, he learned, when she really trusted that no one was going to judge her, she spoke about the moon. It had happened twice in the last few days.

He couldn’t stop looking at her. As though that needed reasoning, he thought about it at the office too. It wasn’t the only answer he could come up with but Namjoon had never seen a body like hers. She didn’t seem brittle or delicate, the way most women looked - or were “supposed to look”. She didn’t care what a body is supposed to look like, at least, it seemed that way to him. Brishti’s curves were not subtle. She was short and while almost everyone was shorter than him, Brishti was just… sexily so. She’d do these things… seemingly normal, everyday things but they would quickly, embarrassingly, inspire an arousal in him. Like, that thing she did, when she stretched after waking up or even if she stretched her arms or her neck… for some reason that turned him on so much, he’d have to hide… or excuse himself. His breath hitched, everytime he thought about how he hadn’t still actually seen her body.

Brishti, too, enjoyed looking at him from afar. Sharing, creating a living space with a man was never something she thought she would enjoy. They had exchanged the basic stories of how they had reached each other.

Namjoon had said, “I’d met a couple of women… girls… but they just seemed either plastic or porcelain… you know? I mean, not all of them could have been that but that's how they… presented themselves? You… I saw your photos in a pile that the matchmaker labelled ‘rubbish’”

“What?!”

“Yeah… I’m sorry but it’s actually a compliment to be labelled ‘bad’ by a matchmaker. That’s why I was looking in that pile in the first place… when I heard you wanted to keep working… Honestly I was so relieved...”

She smiled, “At least you got a look at me… I didn’t even know what you looked like till we met. I had no choice at all. A boy had agreed to marry me - despite… me… so that was the end of it. That was the bargain with my brother… otherwise I wouldn’t have been allowed to work either.”

“Wow… I’m so sorry, Rim. That’s really… really unfair.”

“Hmm yeah… I just figured if I can keep earning & the man turns out to be wrong, at least I can leave.”

“That’s… thanks for not leaving...”

Brishti smiled, “I got lucky...”

Namjoon understood, then, that Brishti might be an introvert but that did not mean she was shy. She made him blush & laugh. She made him speak without inhibition. The more time he spent with her, his feelings poured out.

“Thanks… It’s been really nice to share this home with you. Just to have you to talk to… My life was not going that great...” he said.

Brishti nodded, even though she already knew this. Whatever he said, strangely, she could see a deeper melancholy behind it. They spoke about being strangers in a strange country. She told him how she had to fight at the library for Tagore to be considered classic literature. How she was slowly but surely, being accepted in the oddball group that ran the library. She was not the only non-english person there, so things were easier for her. Besides, true readers had always been more accepting of the different.

Something made her regret sharing her happiness about this because his struggle in this foreign land was far more intense… she could sense pain behind the words he used. Namjoon did not enjoy his job the way she did. He worked overtime most days and came home bone-tired. Kim Namjoon was in many ratraces at the same time - races Brishti felt he didn’t want to participate at all. Being a lawyer, being an asian - the ‘model minority’, being a slightly well-off Korean in a sea of white men, in a sea of less fortunate asians who were being treated much worse than him. Trying to create a name, an identity of his own was wearing him out... chipping away at his soul.

Brishti sometimes saw him and saw a great banyan cutting itself down, trying to be a shrub just to fit in. When she asked him how his day was, he always smiled. It was real, the smile and yet it couldn’t hide the sadness in his eyes. Something that was beginning to bother Brishti more and more, these days. He... had begun to matter more and more these days.

Now, about two weeks into their marriage, she was experiencing butterflies about the smallest things; Things like watching him sleep on the fold out, bringing him coffee in the morning. She felt a pull deep inside her take over when he would come out of the shower in the bathrobe, skin glistening from the shower & musky man-scents launching her body in a fantastical arousal & her mind in overdrive. Somedays, Brishti even went for a shower after he’d been, just so she could soak in his essence & bathe in a trance she had never felt before.

On their third weekend together, Namjoon didn’t have to go to work the whole weekend. He’d spoken to his superior at the firm to let him have weekends free - after all, he was married now. Post lunch that Saturday, Brishti and he kept unpacking, organising while talking (well, later on, it was just coffee & talking) into the early hours of Sunday. They spoke about things they loved, people they had loved. About fictional crushes and real ones. Both of them spoke about their past relationships. Something Brishti was delighted about - especially since Namjoon told her he was not the type to hold someone’s past against them.

Brishti couldn’t believe it when Namjoon had correctly guessed, “It was the photographer, right?”

“What-?! How- Where- How did you…?” Brishti couldn’t even form a question.

“Your photos, at the matchmakers… something was different. All the other pictures women give out for arranged matches seem... fake. Yours were… real… private. You looked comfortable… looked like you were being teased...” What he didn’t say was how much it seemed in those pictures like she was with someone she truly liked… maybe even loved.

Sat on the ground opposite Namjoon, Brishti kept her gaze on him. It unnerved Namjoon that she could really see him. She unnerved him further when she said, “You should say what you aren’t saying… or… asking?”

“Did you love him?”

“Not really… it was just... a different kind of friendship… ended almost as soon as it began. But I- I don’t regret it. It wasn’t the kind of love-” she trailed off. She looked away, smiling but trying to hide it. The same way she had in the photograph.

He pressed further just to tease her “Kind of love...?” Namjoon was intrigued because she was blushing now & he wanted to plant a thousand pecks on her. Instead he said, “So you can just�� stop what you were saying? Mmm. Okay. I see.”

She looked at him then, “I’m feeling… a lot… of… different things these days. Especially because of a couple of dimples...”

Just like that, she turned the tables & his dimples appeared. He blushed, “Yeah… same. I mean… you don’t have dimples but I’ve-”

She nodded to let him know she understood. And then asked, “Uhm... Have you… had sex?”

Namjoon bit his lip, “Yeah… yes. I... had a girlfriend in law school. It… uh… wasn’t serious… for her.”

Brishti looked away nodding, as if stopping herself from saying something.

He looked at her… knowing what she probably wanted to say. He wanted to hug her but he only said, “It doesn’t matter, does it? For me it doesn’t. Doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex too… I know how people can be about virginity… I- honestly… it's just another way to control people.”

She looked at him with a mixture of emotions. She took a minute to compose herself & then said, “I’ve never met a man like you… and it's a little confusing and annoying… Not that you are annoying… not at all. It’s just the world is annoying because this is how low the standard is for a man. A man accepting that the woman has a past makes him… forward…? But of course the woman has to… because, well, he’s a man and he has needs. We’re all told that… Shirley... who works with me… she knows it too. Women just aren’t supposed to talk about their pasts. All women.”

She paused & got flustered further because of how dedicatedly Namjoon had been listening. It really seemed as if he was taking notes. The serious expression on his face, it made Brishti's ears feel hot. Almost as a distraction, she went on -

“It's crazy but that seems to be the only thing THE WHOLE WORLD has agreed on - they can’t agree on one way to make bread but they all agreed that women are inferior. It’s such a basic thing to just let me work… because I want to… but it's annoying that it makes me feel lucky. My best friend had to go through hell because she thought she could trust her husband with the truth about her past… so it makes me feel lucky that… you won’t…”

Namjoon could see the pain in her words. Maybe that’s how she could always sense the pain in his words, he thought.

After a calming silence passed over them, he spoke - “I won’t. I don’t really know what it’s like for a woman. And… maybe you won’t like to hear this, but… I was the same, Rim... I was the man my society had trained me to be. Everything changed when I came here. When, for the first time in my life, I understood what it’s like to be treated inferior. Since then, I just… I cannot be the cause of a feeling like that within anyone... So… you’re right. I’m not doing anything everyone shouldn’t already do. All of this should be normal. Expected. Hopefully the world learns a bit faster…”

Brishti smiled at Namjoon. She chuckled when tears pooled up in her eyes. He instinctively reached out for her & placed a hand on her leg, just below her knee. A jolt went through Brishti and she looked surprised. He did too. Namjoon retracted his hand immediately & looked away, blushing. That’s when Brishti laughed out loud. She stood up. And asked him to stand up, silently.

He did. It always made Brishti’s heart flutter just how gorgeous and tall he was. Someday, she would tell him. Someday, she would show him. For now, she couldn’t help feeling bashful as she asked, “Can I get a hug, Joon?”

This was the first time she’d used the pet name that he’d asked her to call him by. This was what his family called him. And her using this name assured Namjoon of just that - she was becoming family. Her question had made his heart flip. He moved without really thinking, because this is what his body had wanted since the day he saw her. He pulled her up in his arms. He felt like he was melting. She was soft. Warm. Beautiful. And in his arms.

Brishti gasped a little when Namjoon had scooped her up in his arms. She was on her toes, literally & figuratively. She held onto him, less as a hug & more as support… at first. Then, she felt his arms… the strong arms that she had been ogling at, around her. It was as if a knot came undone, within her, suddenly. And in its place, the softest silk suddenly flowed through her body.

She closed her eyes and breathed him in. The same essence that she’d been soaking in after he had showered, that she had been breathing in whenever he would pass by or reach past her. The essence that she had now become so hungry for that she had been secretly sleeping with the shirt he’d worn from the laundry basket. That essence was now all over her. Her chin turned up, resting on his shoulders, her cheeks touching his, her hands - on their own - reached the nape of his neck and began to play with his hair.

When she did that, Namjoon held her tighter, pressed her on to him. He felt her body react to his. One hand reaching her shoulder around her back, he moved the other closer to her waist, so his hands could fold over her curves. He could feel her breath hitch when he did that.

Brishti was revelling in the feeling of his hands, his fingers, feeling his fingertips press into her - that was a feeling she could never have imagined making her so... so... drunk. She was drunk. She ran her hands up and down his vast back, all the way up to his hair. All of a sudden she could feel herself overcome with emotion. Tears began pooling in her eyes again. And she said, before it was too late, she said, “Thank you, Joon, for everything… thank you.”

When he heard the tremble in her voice, Namjoon pulled away, just so he could see her. Brishti quickly retracted too - to wipe off her tears, trying to laugh off the silliness, apologising. Namjoon replied, “It’s okay… I understand… I… Thank you, Rim. I hope you… you know what I mean...” What he wanted to say, what he hoped she understood was that she was what was helping him come alive. But being unable to, Namjoon knew someday he would. Someday soon.

Brishti nodded to say she understood. Namjoon tried to lighten the atmosphere, saying, “You’re not… just anyone, you know? So… maybe you should tell me something I could do which is… not just basic decency, but something that can be considered truly feminist, you know. I’d love to do that for you.”

Brishti smiled and nodded. She suddenly felt tired & almost of its own accord, her body stretched into a yawn. She said, “I’ll think of something. We- I should go now… Do you want- anything?...” Brishti was delighted about how drunk she had gotten from one hug. It was exciting that she knew she’d be sleeping with the sweater he had tossed in the laundry basket tonight. She decided to take a bit more time to enjoy being intoxicated without a substance, together and alone.

Later that night, as Namjoon laid on his fold out sofa, alone, he thought of how great it had felt to have Brishti in his arms. To have someone who wanted to know about his day. To feel her heartbeat, like raindrops, knocking on his chest like it was a window pane, almost as if asking to be let in…

Thoughts like these, they made Namjoon reach for the notepad & pen that he always kept close by. He wrote. He wrote of being world weary and suddenly having a friend. Suddenly feeling like the world wasn't rushing him, that he didn’t need to run, that he could take time, be slow, be a poet. His heart tugged at his pen as it wrote lines about what it felt like to have someone cry for him. To have someone be full of feelings for him, to have someone to embrace his weary body. He wrote about how he missed that embrace and yet it was okay… as long as she was still here, maybe not just next to him, yet. Maybe someday. It was okay because she asked how he was every day and Brishti was here, forever. Namjoon felt tears run down his own face, as he titled the first poem he’d written in almost five years - Forever Rain.

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Oooooh god you read it?! Thank you so much! Please please let me know what you thought! Get into my messages about it! I would love nothing more than to hear what you felt about this!

[evie-solaris]

MLDD server shut down and "compensation" [Link to full tweet]

It is finally happening.

Mldd will officially shut down on June 6th and all our data will be wiped. Can't say I didn't see this coming but it still hurts. That's 2 years worth of our effort and money gone down the drain.

We have the option to transfer our gems over to a newly created mlqc account along with some "bonus" gifts based on our vip exp...and that's it. I will be getting gift III which is 1500gems, 10 galaxy wish, 10 sunrise wish, vip trial and some mats. I rather keep my karmas than gems tho. The compensation as they call it is not enough to cover the cost of 1 SSR unless you get lucky with the wish tree.

Some of the things I am sad about losing are my karma collection, 31 SSRs (15 are Kiro's), archive of Kiro's rumors and secrets (weirdly I love R&S and I'm actually upset about this), top 50 shine like stars rank, limited avatar frames, unlocked outfits, story dates, game progression and cn voiceovers. I know others who will be losing more than me and I can only imagine how they must be feeling rn.

I wasn't sure if I want to start over again. I thought I should just install it at the very least to be able to transfer my gems while deciding if I should quit. So anyway I messed around for quite a bit and I think I understand why some players left for mlqc. The functions are more intuitive and there was so much more story content. Then I checked out Kiro's birthday event and when I saw the bday karma...I got a little emotional. 2 years is too short and I was not ready to say goodbye to Kiro and the other guys. I'm talking about a bunch of pixels like they are real but it was what kept me going sometimes. I decided to stick around for a while and I speed ran the first few chapters until I had enough dawn wishes for a free 10 pull. And guess what. I'm not bluffing, I have it recorded on video. The very first karma and out comes...Kiro SSR whisk you away. I dunno if this is the smart thing to do but I am taking this as a sign to stay and start a new journey.

As a mldd player who has never installed mlqc and took extreme measures to avoid spoilers for some time, loading the game and discovering the differences for the first time...is an experience.

Quick summary, these are my first impressions:

We get the choice of 1 SR from the start. Seen this before on mldd but it was during a later update. I wasn't aware it was for new players which is nice.

Thought I was stuck with the old interface until later chapters reveal the other version which was the same as mldd. Huge relief. The default terrace background is nice too.

There's definitely more QOL functions like "claim all" button for dailies and friends stamina.

More convenient ways of obtaining mats from the karma page

Didn't like the auto complete 10 mats. I prefer a smaller number like 5 in mldd. Then again there are other ways to go about this like the quick remake button.

Profile page lets you write a short bio and display 4 karmas. That's neat.

House feature. This deserves its own post.

The shop and gem exchange. Like I said I love R&S a lot so right away I noticed hourglass costs real money, not gems. Sad. I calculated the gem exchange and found it costs a little bit more. Vip costs the same even after conversion surprisingly.

New types of karmas. Not sure how they all work yet.

24hr challenge is literally a challenge with so many missing karmas.

I will stop here for now if not the post will be too long. Future blog posts will contain more about my progress.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

for that ask meme: ralsei

fluffy boy! (send me a character)

First impression: he seems... nice? almost suspiciously nice? i'll go along with you but i'm gonna keep an eye on you the whole time

Impression now: he has Secrets but i don't think he's evil or anything. i don't trust him but i do like him

Favorite moment: HMM i really like the swan boat ride... where he shows signs of like, learning how to be A Person and figuring out that actual friendship is a lot different than he imagined it, but not bad! but also that he doesn't... really know himself very much... & he's still sort of desperate for positive feedback. idk what his arc's gonna look like but i feel like that boat ride is setting up for it

Idea for a story: hmmmmmmm oh no i have a bunch that are sort of ralsei-adjacent... oh there was one idea i had which is a kind of like, postapocalyptic au where the roaring happens when susie and kris are still babies, so now the barrier between light and dark has broken down entirely, lightners are lost in an endless nightmare etc, and hometown's the only place that's sort-of-safe for both lightners and darkners because the pure darkness of castle town's fountain still protects darkners from statue-ifying.

ralsei's sort of a prophetic figure and the town's... religious leader? not sure exactly how to put it, he doesn't run things day-to-day but he's still very trusted and respected, on account of he's the only person who has any fucking idea what's going on.

anyway, susie and kris and the rest of the hometown kids get to grow up in this post-disaster world covered in darkness, learning and figuring out how to survive, occasionally leaving town to look for supplies and bring back any darkners that are still save-able

Unpopular opinion: he can be a little pushy sometimes when not talking to the player! and it's Suspicious! like he wants everyone to follow the same script and the player's the only one allowed to direct them!

Favorite relationship: hmmmm i have a lot of fun writing him and spamton interacting in wardrobe malfunction. i think puppet ralsei and spamton is a fun combo in general

Favorite headcanon: he's another of gaster's puppets! he's just been better handled than the secret bosses, but he's still being steered and manipulated and the bonus knowledge of how his world works is fucking with him a little. this is (a big part of) why he tried to brush off the spamton fight afterwards cause uh oh, they aren't... so different are they. that could be youuuu

[jlf23tumble]

Fic rec anon here, and I'm blanking in the moment! I know you have a lot of recs and I love them all. Maybe your favourite AUs? Broadly speaking? Seeing some of them might help jog me into more specific categories ! xx

Gotcha, sort of like my prison rec list, only I like to think of it more in terms of what would I have on my phone to read when I’m bored and traveling, lol. Obvs, this sort of list is super hard, but having it focused on AUs kinda helps? At any rate, this isn’t a deep dive, it’s just my top level, so hopefully it’ll spark you. These are in no particular order, so come back if you want more!

Tuxedo Dress-Up, by Blake (honestly, ANYTHING in this fandom by Blake, I file this one under hot and hilarious, but every line is just swooooon). Louis is an aspiring song writer by day, a makeup artist for drag queens by night, and masquerading as a full-time real estate agent for his third most famous (and first most handsome) client Harry Styles.Or, five times they fail to fuck in a closet, and one time they get it right.

Once Upon a Dream, by objectlesson (again, ANYTHING by Phoenix, and most of it is canon, but where to even start with her AUs, jesus god, I struggled to rec just one, so I went with the AU she gifted me, ilu!!!!). “M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay.” Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

knock knock, i love you, by @thelovejandles aka beautlouis (another one of my fave authors in this fandom, proof that wips DO finish, and they’re absolutely worth it). Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

Tied Down, by @ham-palpert (the twists and turns here, my goddd, just masterful) The most interesting case in Liam and Niall's careers falls directly into their laps, courtesy of an epic fuck-up of one Harry Styles, partner to the almost-infamous drug dealer Louis Tomlinson. The investigation yields an unexpected yet satisfactory outcome for Liam and Niall. For Harry and Louis, however, things are far more complicated.

Alien Roadtrip! by @helloamhere (needs ao3 account; I love desert roadtrips, and this captures that vibe perfectly, plus it’s hilarious). For the first time in his life, Louis doesn’t know where he’s going. Harry doesn’t mind. Or, a roadtrip with desert feelings, too much snack food, and empty motels. Harry is definitely absolutely not an alien. That would be ridiculous.

Harry Styles Cooks..., by @magicalrocketships aka sunsetsmog (aka the very best wip on earth, I weep with joy whenever I get the notif). In which Louis Tomlinson can’t cook, there’s a very special shower curtain, and Harry Styles used to be a baker. Or Louis owns all of Harry Styles’ cookbooks, and he never intends to cook a single thing out of any of them.

just call me inspiration, by @hereforlou (in which I *am* Liam Payne, porn editor!) The truth is Louis knows he’s going to hell, if there is such a thing, but it isn’t because he writes erotic fiction for a living. If anything, it’s because his muse, the reason he’s inspired to write about people shagging in increasingly creative ways everyday, is the sweetest, loveliest, most genuine (and completely oblivious) future children-book illustrator in the world.

Buried Like Treasure, by @becomeawendybird aka quickedween (marcel marcel marcel!!!). Prince Harry Styles is very private. He chooses to keep himself out of the public eye but feels lonely and isolated while surrounded by people in his hectic royal life. When he finishes his dissertation, he decides to take a solo holiday to one of the royal family's properties in the Swiss Alps. Semi-retired thief Louis Tomlinson has been pulled in for one last job: steal a painting from an uninhabited mansion. Neither one of them expects a natural disaster.

into another serotonin overflow, by @mercutionotromeo (this story packs a LOT into a little, it helped inspire my sideblog with smaller fic recs, actually). Harry's the yearbook photographer who's been assigned to take pictures of Louis, the new captain of the football team. Harry's got a massive, obvious crush on Louis and somehow, Louis feels the same way.

Turning Page, by @daisyharry aka purpledaisy (pretty much every on-set picture I see of Harry these days just makes me tag it for this fic). “You wanna buy Harry a drink?” Louis lets his eyes drip back to Harry, to his wide eyes and the way his shoulders curve down. He really is pretty – Louis will be the first one to admit it and the last one to ever say it out loud. Louis almost smirks and his lips twitch as he tilts his head, “Not particularly, no.” An AU where Harry Styles tries to get lost in a place he’s never been. Louis Tomlinson has been perfecting the art of being lost for years. What they don’t expect to find is each other.

hush. by wankerville (this story is achingly evocative of just about every shitty small American town, but my god is it beautiful, the sweetness of how it ends). “I don't like you like that, Harry.” “See,” Harry starts, Louis can hear the smile in his voice, “that's where I think you're lying.” Or an AU where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

Three French Hems, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (I wish I could pick just ONE of my top three from these two, but alas...do persimmons smell like come? discuss).  In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

Thought the Song Was Sung, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (see above, pretty much, and how happy I am that the tweets still show up! with Dame Julie Andrews even!!). Louis never auditioned for the X-Factor. Years later, Harry's just another gay ex-boybander who lives alone with his cat... until Niall decides to take matters into his own hands and set up a profile for Harry on a dating website.

Wild and Unruly, by @gloriaandrews and @100percentsassy (Iconic, even the abstract is iconic, everything still holds up. oh for cute, etc. etc.). Harry is a cowboy sitting on the biggest oil reservoir in Wyoming, and Louis is the paralegal assigned to pressure him into selling his land.

Are You Gonna Be My Girl? by loadedgunn (another one that inspired my sideblog dedicated to short fics! So much greatness packed in, Jesus, it’s in my top five for sure). Louis reenacts his first time, and Harry wants to be his good girl.

“burn this flame” by @rainbowninja aka rainbowninja167 (anytime I reread this, I smile...filed under hot and hilarious). When Harry gets invited to play in a celebrity charity match with Louis Tomlinson, Manchester United's star player, he's determined to impress him with brilliant football skills. The only flaw in Harry's otherwise foolproof plan? He has absolutely no football skills, brilliant or otherwise.

Challenging Nature: A Look into Male Lactation, by @jaerie (hands down, one of my fave kinks, handled fantastically well...and this isn’t the author’s only one!).  Even taking into account all the bizarre things Harry has subjected himself to in the past for the sake of an article, Harry has received his strangest assignment yet. It comes up as a random misunderstanding in a meeting and builds into a conversation — can men breastfeed? Internet searches reveal documented cases of male lactation popping up at different times throughout history, but are any of them true? Can a man will himself into lactating? Harry has two months to make it happen.

like how your hands feel me up and down, by ballsdeepinjesus (this author wrote a lot of my faves back in the day, I have so many ~thoughts about the amazing writers in this particular era). “It’s -- you’re tight,” Louis chokes. “It’s tight, I mean. It’s. Yes.” His hand is curved around his hip now, squeezing lightly. “Tight’s good, right?” Harry murmurs, batting his eyelashes. He almost can’t believe himself. “Very good,” Louis grunts. Or louis works in a halloween shop and harry needs a costume.

baby look what you've done to me, by ballsdeepinjesus (see above; even the username kills me). The next day kind of turns everything upside down, though. Louis gets another lingerie catalogue addressed to Harry. He’s about to toss it when he sees a personalized note stuck to the front; it thanks Harry for his previous purchases and offers him a complimentary six-month subscription to their magazine free of charge. Or louis moves into harry's old flat. harry gets a lot of mail.

Take Our Bodies Higher, by @littlelouishiccups (I’m something of a connoisseur of the phone sex trope, so the way this author flips it and makes *Harry* the operator plus what ensues? chef’s kiss!). Harry wasn’t often caught off guard at his job anymore. He called different men Sir, Master, or Daddy for work almost every week, but he’d never been told he was a good boy in a voice quite like that. In which Harry is a phone sex operator and Louis dials a wrong number.

Make a Dime Go One Hundred, by @screwstyles (I’d rec this for their jobs alone, but everything in it, just wow). “Do you think you could trust anyone enough to have full control over you?” he asks into the night, hoping his sentence won’t break their bubble. It doesn’t, if the way Harry’s eyes meet his is any indication.“What do you mean?” Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper, rough from the singing they had done earlier. Louis wants to keep this memory forever.“You know, if someone wanted to, uhm,” he coughs, “to tie you up, or blindfold you.” Or a friends to lovers AU where Harry volunteers to help Louis experiment with bondage. Things don’t go exactly to plan.

it ain't trickin' if ya got it, by sarcasticfluentry (needs ao3 account; I often stare at the wall and wonder what another installment in this universe would be, fuckkkkk, it’s so good, I only wish the social media was still in it). 28-year-old blockbuster actor Louis Tomlinson rushes home to give his 20-year-old model boyfriend Harry a good seeing-to after a particularly provocative Instagram post and, in his excitement, alerts the entire world. Featuring daddy kink, anal beads, and feelings.

If You Asked Me if I Love Him (I'd Lie), by allyasavedtheday (needs an ao3 account; it’s a sequel, but I reread it over and over vs. the first piece).  Or the one where Harry and Louis eloped but neglected to mention it to anyone. Meanwhile Lottie is getting married and the only way for them to not steal her thunder is by pretending they're just friends for the weekend. Featuring Harry and Louis as terrible liars who don't know the meaning of the word platonic and some Tomlinsons and Styleses who definitely don't believe them.

Damn, I could go on, but I’ll stop! My sideblog dedicated to short fics is @marathonficbreak, and it has some smaller ones, if this is too intimidating, lmao...hope some of them are new for you, enjoy!

[that-curly-haired-lesbian]

Like many other Gaylors, I'm fascinated with Taymily from a historical perspective. We know so little about it compared to Swiftgron and Kaylor, and wondering about which Fearless and Speak Now songs may be about Emily drives me mad with curiosity! However, I admittedly feel a little unconventional when people talk about Taymily without critically noting some things. First of all, I've heard from some people that Emily had a guy at home while touring with Taylor. (2/3)

I’m all for people exploring their sexuality, and Isupport open relationships as long as they’re honest and healthy, but if Emilyreally did cheat on a partner at home that’s not cool! Secondly, I feel alittle uneasy about Taymily because of the age gap between Taylor and Emily.Taylor was 16/17 when she dated Emily, and Emily was 21. I’m 17 now, and I’dfeel really creeped out if somebody older than 19 tried to start a romanticrelationship with me.

I don’t doubt that Taylor used to be very mature forher age as a teenager, but no matter how intelligent or wise you are as achild, an adult is still in an entirely different ballpark! There’s also thefact that as somebody way more experienced in the music industry, Emily wasprobably way more knowledgeable than Taylor about what a closeted relationshipwould entail. Taking that into account, I can’t help but feel sorry for Taylor.Emily left her when she was barely of legal age!

I can’t imagine what it must have felt like for Taylorwhen Emily decided as a fully-fledged adult that being in a gay relationshipwasn’t in her best interests after all, and that she’d rather have ‘a husbandand kids’. I don’t think Emily is an evil person or anything, but I reallycan’t ignore the power of position she was in this context. Do you get what Imean? (Also please just ignore my divisions now they’re a mess sksksksk I’msorry)

I hope I don’t sound accusatory in these asks, becauseI’m still as fascinated with Taymily as other Gaylors, and I’m not mad or angryat anybody for being interested in them. But I feel like it’s important to notethat Taymily may have been a bit ethically murky at the time, and that therelationship may have not been ideal or healthy. What do you think? I’m sorryfor spamming your inbox, and I hope this doesn’t annoy you ;-; Thanks forhearing me out!

–

Hello dear!

First of all you make a lot of valid points here and don’t sound accusatory at all, I think it’s really important to have conversations like this. Secondly don’t apologize for the divisions and the length, figuring out how much text fits into a tumblr ask is a serious pain and you are not annoying at all, I love getting long asks like this! Lastly, I hope that this ask is the first and not in fact the second one of all that you sent, because if the division on this one is correct I’m afraid I didn’t receive the first one.

Also sorry in advance if my response makes no sense it became somewhat messy at times…

Now for your points:

 Itseems Emily did have a guy back homeat some point, which I’m basing off of this comment by Taylor, astatement that she allegedly dropped when introducing Emily during the rest ofthe shows, causing some Gaylors to assume perhaps Emily broke up with the dudeonce she fell for Taylor and thus didn’t cheat on anyone, at least not for theentire duration of her relationship with Taylor (not that any cheating, nomatter how brief is okay, of course.) Although I can admit that the “whathappens in L.A stays here” is reminiscent of cheating, which noooo Tay!

According to thisarticle though, Emily married a dude she was friends with in high school, perhaps giving the impression to somethat she had been with him the whole time including her time with Tay, but thearticle makes sure to point out that they reconnected after Emily returned home having left her position in Taylor’sband.

Of course the boyfriend mentioned by Taylor inthat clip could have been a different man from the one Emily ended up marrying,but since Taylor dropped the “Emily-has a boyfriend”-part of her introduction Ithink it’s relatively safe to assume Emily was single for the majority of hertime working for Taylor.  OR the more funpossibility is that Taylor herself is the “boyfriend” mentioned in theintroduction and she’s just messing around, implicitly warning people not tohit on her girl :P I guess we will never know for how long (if at all) Emilyhad a boyfriend while being with Taylor, but I hope everyone broke up witheveryone else before entering a different relationship of course, regardless I thinkit’s safe to assume Emily is bisexual and might have been figuring that outduring her time with Taylor. (Not that bisexual people cheat or that figuringout your sexuality makes cheating okay in any way, just wanted to point out thefact that she’s most likely bi)

 Inall honesty the older I get the more uneasy I become with the age gap too, I firstdiscovered Taymily when I myself was 16 and at the time I had several friendsmy age who were all dating people in their early 20’s so I suppose in my socialcircles at that time that age gap didn’t seem too significant. Although Now I’m23, about a year-ish older than Emily was when she first started going out withTay and let me tell you, I would personally feel incredibly uncomfortabledating a 16-17 old at this point in my life and do now consider that age gap verysignificant.

I agree that Taylor has likely always been avery mature and wise-beyond-her-years sort of person, but that still mostdefinitely doesn’t make someone over 18 dating her at 16-17 okay, like you say, it’s anentirely different ballpark.

To be somewhat fair though, I do not thinkEmily was more experienced in the industry than Taylor, actually I think itmight have been the other way around, see Taylor had been writing songs in atleast a semi-professional setting since age 13 or so, Emily just applied to thepoison of fiddle player for The Agency (not yet called that at that time)straight out of college where she to my understanding had been studyingsomething unrelated to music, I don’t think she’d been doing music in such aprofessional sense before joining Team Taylor. 

Iwant to state before I continue that I am not defending Emily the adult’s decision to enter a relationshipwith a minor, but I can imagine thatliving in such close courters and being on the road trying to figure thismusic-industry thing out must lend itself pretty well for unexpected  things to happen between people and I do notthink either of the two planned to fall for each other. Was it inadvisable andunprofessional and like you say a little ethically murky? Most definitely, butit did happen regardless of anyone’s intentions, just as things in life tendto.

 I do feel like had Emily stopped to reflect on the decision she would’ve mostlikely come to the conclusion that a relationship with Taylor wasn’t the bestidea from an image or closeting standpoint, but I do not think either of themwere prepared for the pushback their relationship would receive from managementand I do believe the Emily’s forced dismissal was out of both of their handsand it likely wasn’t Emily’s intention to leave so abruptly.  That being said I do think Taylor held on tohope that they’d be able to be together romantically regardless of the firingand I do think Emily shot her down there. Without a question it would have beenEmily’s responsibility as an adult to look at their relationship more clearlythan Taylor could and I agree with you that choosing not to do so most likelyput Emily in a power position that is indeed hard to ignore!

 Asfor Emily’s comments about leaving Taylor because she “wanted a husband andkids” that does strike me as some powerful internalized homophobia which makesme sad (Em, gay people can have those things too but okayyyyy) And I too oftenthink about how upsetting and borderline traumatic the whole experience ofthe firing, vigorous closeting by management and breakup that followed that must have been for Taylor as a teenager. I do think that’s the reason we gotso many heartbreaking songs (such as All Too Well) where it does appear she’sworking through some serious life-altering trauma related to her love life andalso by extension all of the bearding and closeting that followed all of this.

As mylast point I just want to make absolutely clear that this is all speculation asto what happened between Taylor and Emily and how their relationship playedout, we will never know the facts. Furthermore, we all know that I am Taymily trash and will continue to enjoy this ship to the day I die, but this is a super important conversationto have as we continue to explore Taymily and other of Taylor’s relationshipsin an analytic light!

Thankyou so much for these asks, anon! 😊😊😊

[officialinuyasha]

Official Art is free use as long as it is not used for monetary gain, and I will never ask anyone for money for my pictures, and I was told I am the only person that actually credits the official animators and artists. Each image of the anime is directly ripped RAW Japanese versions, that are ages old by the way. There are probably better ones out there now. Because had these when the English dub hadn’t came out on my Windows XP. About that, they should be in 1080, but since they were used into WMM I had to recolor all of them and increase their quality myself. I don’t like taking screenshots from YouTube like most people do. Not only do I increase the quality but there are assets I enjoy changing them from the anime. Most people can’t even tell it’s changed because it’s “that good” they say. The only thing I ask if you are sharing my edits, just credit me for taking to time to increasing the resolution, ripping, and alters. I do a lot of screen-stitching also. There’s a lot of them and some I haven’t even posted. But here are some of my favorites -

Besides that, I also like posting basic screen caps with my watermark on it. Because I did it. I don’t have to explain myself on that. Because it originated from my RAW rips, I have every right to credit the official animators and myself for doing the work. I see a lot of people post their watermarks on official images, even when it comes to illegal manga scan sites. I don’t see anyone complaining about that.

If you see my watermark on it, like Max’s it’s because I have his permission to slightly alter it as a Profile Picture! - and I usually have their credit or their watermark on it also whether in the image or in the description! Since Max intentionally made art for me also, it’s kinda a given.

I always see @redrobelover talk about bullying and certain fandoms. I can tell you what I see.

Here is what I see most of -

People “bully” others if someone is asking where a certain fan art came from - With absolutely no intent to steal it. They know they didn’t make the art.

But as soon as someone constantly credits each individual animator, they don’t care and the official animators are swept under the rug. These people are paid, just like fan artists. But they are way less known. I hardly ever see anyone talking about the animators of InuYasha. When they do, it makes me very happy and excited.

They also think it’s okay for someone to share Fan Art from a person that intentionally left because of drama like this. Basically, “this person left, probably because their art was being stolen and sold on Chinese merchandise. But I’m going to share it anyway.” And to them, that’s completely fine.

Can you see where all this hypocrisy is?

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I’ll tell you all a story. Our friend was from Tumblr since 2009. I won’t give out her identity, but a lot of these people know. And she recognizes a lot of this toxicity and drama. She used to write a lot of fan-fictions and became really well-known. She was a very popular role-player.

She knows and can name people, can predict how people are -exactly- on here.

Well she actually left because people wouldn’t stop fighting, making fake accounts to go and attack everyone. This stuff is stupid. I just don’t get what’s so fun in that.

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A story about me.

I had a friend on here I knew for years. She used to take a lot of my edits and I wouldn’t say anything because she was my friend. Even if it bugged me, I felt like she wasn’t doing any harm in that. All I asked of her was to at least tell me or credit me. Which I don’t think she ever did. It was always odd to find out from another person that she was doing this, or stumbling upon it myself.

The sad part was, I saw her as a really close friend of mine. And when my life began ta change dramatically I went and told her everything. I wrote a whole novel for her. In hopes that she was going to be supportive of my life changes and choices I was making during my transition and the person I am meant ta be with. Like most of my friend are supportive of it and asked me a whole buncha questions about it. They were happy.

Unfortunately I never got the ecstatic answer from her. Instead she ghosted on me and I think blocked me. I never understood why. But I was told it was probably because we have the same mind set in a lot of things. So I will never hate on her ever. I don’t have a reason to. I just wished things like that was better.

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We are all a family. We all like InuYasha. InuYasha is supposta be a safe space.

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Something I wrote in August 20th, 2018

My name is InuYasha, yes legally. Yes I'm the only person on record with that name in the US atleast. I am a transman. I've been on hormones for two years now! 💪💉 Damn those "emojis" look hella weird... August 2016 was when I started my hormones. Anyway. I'm in a relationship with @officialkagome , her name is Kagome she's a transwoman! I really came around on YouTube 2007 as TheHanyouInuYasha, now displayed as "OfficialInuYasha". I also run the FaceBook group "Official InuYasha Group" which is increasingly popular and extremely active with almost 5,000 members now! My sister really helped push me to go for the doctor's appointment for my transgender diagnosis in order for me to start my hormones. The series InuYasha really helped me get in touch with my true self, as InuYasha I see myself as one with. Being an outcast and having to make my own world was very, very difficult. I went through a lot of depression and anger during certain times and was told I could not be "InuYasha" because they told me I was a "girl". Just like in the series how the ignorant people also pestered InuYasha being half demon, that it was "unnatural" to them. I continued on, struggling as InuYasha. I started cosplaying InuYasha around 2005. I remember going to my neighbors house to watch it pre-recorded in Japanese dub! I was only about 10 years old. My grandma helped me make my first outfit. We made the top from a Wizard robe and Dancer pants patterns. I have gone through four different outfits, now 7 wigs, and 6 different Tetsusaigas. My current wig was made by Alichii from deviantART since 2004 based on Katie Bairs method, made from 3 different wigs. A historical wig. My current outfit is the Officially licensed VIZ Media outfit! It's my treasure. Kagome in the series really helped me alot to learn and to love. I have had many issues with haters, stalkers and copycats. Keh! But that won't stop me!

- The response @officialkagome wrote after me -

My name is Kagome, yes; it really is. InuYasha inspired me to share my own story. I am a transwoman, and have known I was a female my entire conscious life. I was told I couldn't be Kagome because I wasn't a girl. I was punished a great deal and abused for being trans. I was told I was wrong, and sick for 'thinking' I was a girl, I was invisible to everyone around me. I grew into an aloof teenager that thought I knew the evils of the world, until when 14 years old; I was sexually assaulted by three men while at a house party without my parents knowledge. My world fell to pieces, and who I was died. I spiralled, I lost all respect for myself. I never was dated, I gave myself to bad guys. I made horrible choices and I still carry the shame of what those men turned me into.  I watched InuYasha a lot then, and I found similarity in myself and Kagome. She was everything I always dreamed of being. Kind, brave, beautiful and pure. My first Impression of InuYasha was that he was a jerk; but I got to learn more about how he felt different in his world, and didn't belong. Before I knew it, I fell deeply in love with him. He saved my life and made me feel like that strong woman I knew I was. I spent the next 13+ years submitting to the fact that I would never really be able to see InuYasha, I begged for dreams, If I could only see him.. Meanwhile, InuYasha was going through the same exact thing. We crossed paths on so many occasions, even unknowingly, we grew up in the same cities, our whole lives lead up to us finding one another and life blessed me, and brought InuYasha to me in the most ironically fated way. We are BOTH trans! He gets me, And he waited for me just as long as I waited for him. There is so much coincidence in our meeting. It's haunting. He looks at me, a pile of my trauma; and he loves my broken pieces back together. InuYasha has ALWAYS come for me, and I may have lost faith; but I am glad I didn't. InuYasha found me in the darkness; and now together we move towards tomorrow. We have always been the same since the very beginning. We ARE InuKag~

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Thank you for all the asks.

I will respond to each one. All will be animated, which I know they are piled up.

So send all Asks. Let’s see how fun we can make this -

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- Inu-Yasha -

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I will go toe-to-toe with anyone about “business knowledge.” That doesn’t mean that I’ll know more about any given topic, but I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that I will be able hold my own whether they’re a subject matter expert academic or a successful CEO.While that may be extremely gratifying to my skills as a conversationalist, on the complete opposite end of that spectrum I can’t go toe-to-toe with damn near anyone when it comes to annual revenue, customers, money raised, successful exits, or many of the other traditional measures of success in business. Despite my wealth of firsthand experience and the breadth of my “multi-disciplinary knowledge,” if I had to quantify my entrepreneurial success or business acumen using their usual manifestations (i.e. financial statements or the size of my platform), then I would be hard pressed to state my case in a positive light.From the outside looking in, it would be easy to dismiss my “knowledge” as mere talk. Hot air. Empty words.To be honest, that’s been the source of a bit of an existential crisis at times (enough so that it prompted me to write this article). And while no one could fault me for lack of effort, ingenuity, grit or ambition, I have been counseled to “get a real job!” more than once. If you’ve found your way to this article then maybe that is an experience you can relate to as well.I like to say that I have delusional confidence - things do not have to be going my way in order for me to feel confident about my abilities or self-worth. I firmly believe that failure is just as important to the process as success. Together they form yet another aspect to the Yin and Yang of life. And while that mentality may give me a respectable suit of armor to wear in the face of concern from friends and family (not to mention from myself), at what point might that attitude cause me to miss the proverbial writing on the wall and become what Sonny so aptly labeled “wasted talent”?I know I’ve had to ask myself that question before. Maybe you have too.If you’re browsing /r/entrepreneur then there’s a good chance that it’s not because your business is thriving and you need a reprieve from crushing the game. That’s a pretty broad and somewhat unfavorable generalization, but it is what it is and I’ll stand by it. Don’t worry though, I’m not about to turn this into a motivational speaker’s call to action and tell you to go out there and take demonstrable, non-busy-work action towards your goals (because you already know that :p).What I’d like to impart is some knowledge about the game that I’ve picked up over the ~6 years I’ve been wearing my entrepreneurial heart on my sleeve. Unfortunately, as my preamble suggests, this advice isn’t coming from a “winner.” I’m just another player, like you, so take it for what it’s worth… but I’m standing on the shoulder of giants here.There’s a quote from Bill Gates that I’ve come to appreciate more and more over the years. He said that “most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” If you’re into entrepreneurial lore then this probably isn’t news to you, but my goal here is to bring that esoteric advice down to Earth.Right around this time last year I had a startup that was on the verge of being bought out after a 2-year, mostly self-funded battle to keep the dream alive. It was my second real attempt at a start up (aka “all-in”), and I applied every one of the lessons I’d learned from the failures of my first venture. Nevertheless, I was still defrauded by manufacturers, over charged by suppliers, bullied by payment processors, denied legal protections from the USPTO… if something could have gone wrong it did, and yet I persevered all the way to the negotiation table by overcoming each of those issues along the way.As part of the launch I had planned to write an article titled “What Does It Take To Be Successful? Let Me Tell You What It’s Taken Me To Get Started.” It was going to be part content marketing, since it would have been about the business, but also part motivational battle cry to struggling entrepreneurs everywhere. I wanted to write an article that saying the things I would liked to have heard during the not-so-great moments on the road to becoming a fully funded business.Alas, that day never came.I still plan on writing that article (so don’t steal my title!), but it was Providence’s plan for me to learn about investor disputes and how to defend myself from a legal shakedown instead (yet another topic I can now confidently discuss!).I’ve remained purposely vague on the details because I didn’t want this to turn into a discussion about what I could have or should have done, or how it Is all my fault and that I’m just blaming others for my failures. All of that, while true to some degree or another, is besides the point.My start up’s product was cool. I had a great proof of concept. I’d demonstrated a market “need,” I had a pretty good idea how to market and distribute it, a clear path to profitability - all the things investors are looking for. What’s interesting though, and what stood out to me during that whole process, was that they were much less interested in that stuff because I probably wouldn’t have gotten in front of them without that level of polish to begin with.What really piqued their interest was my story.Whenever I found myself in front of an investor their faces would light up when I’d talk about the adversities I’d overcome. They loved hearing about the struggle. Heads would nod emphatically as I talked about the lessons learned from overcoming obstacles and how I would (try) to apply them going forward. From there our discussion would almost always turns to their own war stories of being defrauded, missing opportunities, making the wrong judgement calls - on and on about failure.They didn’t ultimately invest (otherwise you’d be reading the first article!), but I always got the nod of approval and added someone potentially important to my network. Hopefully it’s like Bill was saying - we might not connect this year, but maybe at some point in the next ten years our paths will cross again.They always say that investors invest in the team, so how does the team become worthy of investment?!Experience. More specifically, I’d say it’s the experience gained from the experiences you’re probably doing everything in your power to avoid (as you should).Don’t get me wrong - the more money you want to raise the more that experience has to include success, but you cannot show grit without overcoming adversity. You cannot demonstrate impressive problem solving abilities without having solved some seemingly insurmountable problems. You’ll be hard pressed to prove that you’re in it for the next x-years without having already toiled through the ups and downs of business for some fraction of that time.Why would a customer give you their money if they were concerned about whether or not you'll be around to offer support after the sale? How can an investor feel that their investment is safe unless the team is has proven themselves? How can the team believe in its leader without that leader having been battle tested? How can you feel confident in taking on more than you’ve ever taken on before without being able to look upon your scars from surviving past battles with pride?If your business isn’t going the way you want it to, or even more generally if your life isn’t going the way you want it to (and they’re often intimately related, amirite?!), then hopefully this article can inspire you to work on gaining some of my “delusional” confidence. The shit moments pay for the successes later on, so long as you accept that to be true and own it. It doesn’t happen by accident or if you keep passing the buck. It takes extreme accountability and a growth mindset.Another great quote is from the poet laureate Homer J. Simpson, who said to his son, Bart, “Son, never try. It’s the first step to failure.”That quote is so powerful it might as well be the guiding principle in most people’s lives. Take a moment right now on this Day of Thanks to congratulate yourself and be grateful for the fact that you put yourself in a position to enjoy your failures, because that means you’ve already taken the hardest step of all - you took a chance.Succeeding is easy. Hell, taking a failure on the chin really isn’t all that bad either because you knew it was always a risk, right? But taking a chance?! Man. That’s tough. Putting yourself out there is the precursor to everything in life, so don’t let anything stop you from being willing to take chances.I’m sure some of the wordsmiths out there cringed at my use of the word “esoteric” for Bill’s advice because it seems so general, but there’s a difference between understanding and Understanding what he said.Capital “U” Understanding takes experience. It takes time in service and surviving the ups and downs of the path less traveled. The seed you planted 10 years ago won’t ever turn into a tree if you didn’t plan it in the first place!A great follow-up to that quote is the Chinese proverb which says that the best time to plant a tree was 20-years ago, but the second best time is today.So! Keep putting yourself out there and rejoice at the lessons you’re gaining from your most recent failure or your current state of stagnation. It’s going to be hard to make it from wherever you’re at now to wherever you’re trying to go - open up any book from the ancient world and you’ll see that that’s just the way it is. Be accountable for your failures and accept them as the price paid for the lessons you’ve learned along the way.Pay that price gladly. Be thankful for the allowing yourself to take the road less traveled.The confidence you gain from this mentality is not actually delusional if you’re being honest with yourself, it’s the only true kind of confidence there is (at least that’s what I tell myself!).You might have to get a “real job” one day, and we all know that means it’ll be the kind of “real job” that makes pursuing your entrepreneurial dreams next to impossible. My advice? Take the job, save more money/motivation than you can now, and get back out there to try again!You’ve got this. Happy Thanksgiving!