#I'm impulsively deciding to post this now instead of waiting for the other parts to be done. hopefully I dont regret that :D

[soldierkitten]

tilly the god au ep 1 (part 1 of 4 I think)

prev stuff / next stuff

[zeonotneo]

A/N : Oh my gosh this is my first fic and I'm impulsively writing it so it isn't proof read or I might overthink it and not post it.

pleaseee give me prompts or recommendations, not limited to Spencer! Any member of the BAU, or Criminal Minds, I am only halfway through season 9 so no spoilers!

I'm currently on 09x15 of Criminal Minds, and this episode is directed by our very own Mr. Gibson.

"Do you wanna come upstairs?"

(Gn!reader) after a particularly exhaustive case that struck Spencer the hard way, reader tries to be there for him ( this isn't a romantic fic but is up for interpretation/ as you wish ;) ) .

I've been a part of the BAU for about seven months now, I transferred a little while after my time in the field under the SOC, but I had assisted them on multiple cases before and was familiar with most of the team so the transition wasn't hard. I was great friends with Penelope already because she'd help me on my cases sometimes if she had the time to spare, she would invite me to her movie nights and outings and from there on I befriended the others. I was good friends with everyone on the team except Spencer, we weren't on bad terms or anything, but things were rocky, I had no doubt that he trusted me as a team member. Perhaps he just needed more time to consider me as anything more than that.

Everyone slept soundly in the bau jet as we headed back for Quantico. The team had been in Wisconsin for the past 6 days trying to chase down an unsub that had been kidnapping teenagers and sending letters to their parents written in their blood. This case was mentally and physically draining. I was sitting next to Morgan, who was sound asleep with his headphones on, occasionally stirring in his sleep, uneasy, he had taken a couple of hits chasing the unsub with JJ. The unsub might've gotten away if it wasn't for Spencer literally throwing himself at the unsub to subdue him. He may not look(or be) the most physically fit person on the team, but over the years during his time working for the FBI, he'd been more than able to stand his ground.

I couldn't fall asleep on the flight back so I thought I might as well make some coffee, as I was preparing the pot, I glanced around the jet and locked eyes with a certain Curly haired genius with a book in his hand, he looked like he'd woken up not long ago, I held up the pot in my hand as a way of asking him if he'd like some and he simply nodded with a tight lipped smile. I grabbed both of our coffees and set his down on the table infront of him.

"Thank you, Y/N, I thought you'd be asleep"

"I was, but Morgan keeps stirring in his sleep, and that woke me up, what about you? What's keeping you up? I figured you'd crash the second we boarded the jet, you must be exhausted"

"My side hurts from earlier so I can't find a comfortable position to sleep in, I'm just waiting to be back in Quantico so I can hopefully rest at home"

"Do you want- uh- would you want to sit here instead? I know the plane lands in the next 20 minutes and we're already almost there but-"

"I'd like that, thank you, Dr. Reid"

"Spencer"

"What?"

"Call me Spencer, if you'd like, Reid feels too formal, like we're nothing more than co-workers" he almost whispered the last bit ,there was a hint of disappointment written all over his face.

Was he...upset that I didn't call him Spencer?

"Okay, Spencer, I am just used to calling you Reid, has a nice ring to it, and for the record, I don't consider you as just a guy I work with, you're more than that" I smiled at him. "You can go back to your book if you want, we don't have to talk or anything"

"Oh okay" he looked as if he wanted to say something else but decided against it and reached out for his book instead

We sat in silence as he went back to his book and I leaned back in my seat and shut my eyes, the silence wasn't awkward, the silence was comfortable.

After landing, everyone filed into the bullpen as Penelope greeted us all with warm hugs.

"Everyone take the weekend off, I'll see you on Monday, Morgan, Reid, take care and let me know if you need anything"

Reid headed to his desk to grab a few things and I stayed behind, waiting for him.

"You haven't left yet?" He questioned me as he approached the elevator

"I was just waiting for you, we take the same train home so I figured we could head back together"

"I'd really like that" Spencer smiled at me.

I don't just want to walk him to the station, I really want to walk him home, just for my peace of mind, I don't know why, I just do

"You just missed your stop" He asked me as the doors closed on what should've been the stop I got off on everyday. "Are you walking me home?"

"...Is it okay if I do that? I mean it's not that I'm worried that you can't get back on your own with you being hurt, it's just that for my peace of mind-"

You're rambling, Y/N, big time

"Y/N, it's okay, I really appreciate you doing that, it's very thoughtful of you" he cut me off

We walked towards his apartment building as we talked about our plans for the weekend, Reid decided to stay in this weekend and recover while I will probably be spending the next two days doing movie nights with Penelope or meeting up with JJ.

We came to a halt as he stopped infront of a building I presumed he lived at, I actually had no idea where he lived until this moment.

"Well, this is me"

"Okay, have a nice weekend,okay? If you need anything, please don't hesitate to call, I am serious, I live close by anyways"

"Would you like to- uh- Do you want to come upstairs?" Reid looked at me expectedly.

"I wouldn't want to intrude, besides you should definitely get some sleep, Reid- Spencer, you've had a long day"

"I have a strong cup of caffeine in my system, I'm tired, yes, but I'm nowhere near sleeping, we can order take out, my treat, besides, some company would be nice, your company would be nice, if you want to ofcourse, don't feel compelled to say yes"

"I'd like that, thank you, Spencer, but please don't hesitate to tell me if you change your mind and want to sleep instead or want to be left alone."

We headed up to his apartment and he set up an old Silent movie for us to watch, enjoying the takeout, we got so caught up in talking that I didn't even realize how late it had gotten, we were on our second movie before I heard the silent snoring and looked over to my side to see Spencer fast asleep,I finished the rest of the movie and got up from the couch to clear the table and throw away the take out boxes, I reached into his go-bag and took out a blanket he sometimes carried with him and placed it over him.

He looks so angelic when he sleeps, so peaceful

As if sensing me staring at him, his eyes fluttered open and embarrassment flushed his face as he realized he had fallen asleep while I was still over.

He turned his head and locked at the clock, 01:23

"How long was I out? I am so sorry , I had trouble sleeping the past few days and when it finally came to me it just had to be when you were here."

"Hey, don't worry, it's fine, really, you looked so peaceful sleeping that I didn't want to wake up, I'll be out of your hair now"

"It's late right now, Y/N, it isn't safe for you to go out alone ,not that I'm in any way hinting that you can't take care of yourself, you could throw Morgan over your shoulder if you really wanted to or Two Morgans for that matter but the point is, I don't want you to go-" he let out a sigh and looked down at his hands that rested on his lap. "If I asked you to stay, would you? I hadn't slept this well in a while and I'm sorry if that's weird but-"

I cut him off "point me to the bathroom, I have a fresh set of clothes in my go-bag that I can change into"

This man must have been more exhausted than I thought he was because he was asleep again as I stepped out of the bathroom, as I leaned down to wake him up to sleep on the bed instead, I glanced at my phone that had a new notification, from Spencer

Please take the bed, make yourself at home and turn off your alarms for the morning, Goodnight Y/N

P.s thank you for staying with me tonight, it means a lot"

I poured a glass of water and placed it on the table next to the couch, incase he wakes up thirsty and headed for the bedroom.

Goodnight Spencer, Sweet Dreams.

His bed was so comfortable that it wasn't long before I slipped into a blissful sleep.

[f1monaco24]

Lando Norris x reader

well kind of, I going to be honest I hate writing with y/n so I'm almost always going to write with Olive.

Olive will be used mostly but if it is different people with she is with its like a different universe lol.

PSA

I do not know these people so its all made up.

Lando and Olive have known each other for years now, they meet through Max and what happens when people start to notice their connection on one of Max's live streams.

Sorry about the French It is translated so if it is wrong please let me know. It will make more sense later why she speaks french...

Part 2

Olive's Pov -

Max is streaming once again, meaning I get to sit here and listen, well I could be a part of the stream and I will probably make an appearance, although I know a lot of the fans will be sad during today's stream.

Lando is moving to Monaco, and honestly, I am also sad, but I do not really want to think about it and instead decided to sit on my phone and scroll through Instagram.

I jump when all of a sudden the drums start to be played. I roll my eyes knowing that it is Lando. I walk into the room and just look at Lando giving him a look like are you serious.

"Can you stop" Max ask

I roll my eyes knowing that he will just continue and that is exactly what happend.

Max continues to thank everyone for all the subs and I just look at them.

Lando finally stops and walks back over to sit down.

"Are you serious" I look at Lando and say

Max begins to laugh and Lando follows.

"Here I am peacefully scrolling through Instagram to be disturbed by the loudest and most obnoxious noise possible," I say

"like please learn some impulse control Lando" I laugh

Max and Lando are dying at this point holding onto each other as they laugh.

"je ne peux pas te supporter tous les deux" (I cant stand you two) I say while rolling my eye.

"Oh no everyone watch out the French is coming out" Max jokes

"I'm leaving," I say and walk out of the room.

"Nooo come back" Lando shouts.

Fine, I think and go back and sit next to Lando and continue to scroll through Instagram.

Although I am sitting uncomfortably and so I lay my head on Lando's shoulder and continue to scroll through Insta like always.

But it doesn't last long because Max reads a chat

"AWW Lando and Olive are so cute together!"

This caused Lando to lean back up and me to pick up my head, I looked at him and realized I missed the contact we had.

It doesn't take long for them to move off the topic and back to how the chat is sad over the move.

But I keep thikhig about Lando. Recenlty me and Lando have gotten closer hanging out a lot, but many people have been guesing that we are dating and I think that it had made Lando uncomfortable.

I mean maybe I'm just over thinking it I mean he hasnt said antyhing and we still hang out all the time but that defintley will be changing, he moving to another country.

How could something even start with him moving, wait do I even want something to start.

There is no way that I can like Lando Noriss. Its impossible.

My thoughts are cut short by me feeling a nudge, I look at the person who did it.

It was Lando and he smiles and me and shows me whatever he was looking at on his phone. I laugh at the stuipd instragram post.

Both of leaning close are arms begin to brush against one another, smiling at the contact I realise that I need to stop, he is leaving Olive and he's a huge f1 driver there no chance he would ever look at that way.

Lando most have notice me getting lost in my thoughts once again because he nudges me and says

"what going on in that little brain of your Olli"

God the way my name rolls off his tongue, no one can say my name the way he does.

The way my heart speeds up evertime he says "Olli"

I have to respond so qucily I reply "nothing" and just smile back at him.

Lando gies me a look like he doesn’t believe me but then gets distracted by Max asking him a question.

Although the touch between our arms does not end. Sitting here I can’t focus anything but the butterfiles that start to form.

Max looks back staring, I look at him and smile and all he does is shakes his head and turns back to the stream. I always wonder what Max is thinking, no way he thinks I am being to close to Lando right. Wait what if I am being to close to Lando. I start to freak out that maybe the fans said something causing Max to turn and I didn’t even realsie. What if they are upset.

The only way to end this long out burst of thoughts is to leave, so I abruptly stand up and walk out fo the room, to the kitchen I decided that I needed water.

I also decided maybe I should click on the live to see what the fans were saying.

twitch comments -

User2 - are lando and Olive dating?

User4- Lando and Olive are so cute next to eachother.

User5 - Lando and Olive?

User7 - what is happening between Lando and Olive back there.

User9 - Max turning into the third wheel.

Obviously, there were other comments in between them, but I was right, people were talking about me and Lando, and I had no idea how to feel about it.

Of course, I like Lando I mean look at him how could you not, I continued to stare at the sink not realising that my cup had filled up and water was just running all over my hand and into the sink until someone came up behind me and grabs the cup and turns off the sink.

"olli what is going on with you tonight" Lando says.

Of course it had to be Lando.

"Nothing I just, I just have a lot on my mind I guess" I reply.

"Olli you know you can tell me if something is bothering you, I will always listen, and I can take a break from the stream".

"Lando I "

"I promise. It's nothing" I say while looking away.

Well, that is until a hand comes under my chin moving my head to look back at him.

Our eyes meet and he just stares at me as if he is trying to read my thoughts.

My breath gets faster

I want to kiss him but I know that feeling is not mutual.

"You know you can just say you're going to miss me," Lando says while still staring right into my eyes.

God hes green eyes are so intoxicaiting making it hard for me to even understand what he said in the fristplace.

"Of course, I'll miss you, Lando. It's going to be weird that I won't be able to just walk over to your house anymore" I reply while dropping my eyes to look at the floor. I can't make eye contact with him, not right now.

"olli you can come and visit anytime and I have to come back for Mclaren a lot so do not worry we'll still see each other". He says.

His comforting voice makes me want to believe him, but why would he visit a girl like me. I mean were only friends because of Max and me and Max only met because of our mothers.

I keep thinking about the days recently, the walks, the talks, and the laughs we shared, knowing that they will probably not continue.

I look at him again and say "go back to the stream Lando"

He looks at me almost shocked.

"Don't push me away Olli" he says.

It was almost as if he could read me like a book.

Knowing exactly what I was doing.

But in life, you learn what is easier, after watching person after person leave sometimes it is easier to be the first to leave. Well, you think it is.

I have no reply for him, no words come to my head, and all I can think about is leaving first because then maybe it won't hurt as bad.

"Olli I'm not leaving you, Just because I am moving does not mean I am leaving you". I promise Olli"

I cut him off before he can continue "That's what everyone says but people grow apart Lando and your moving on, and I will be stuck here working in a stupid little coffee shop pretending to be a writer."

my words break my own heart and the truth revealed itself in my anger.

I look at him as the tears build in my eyes "Lando you an F1 driver and I am a want to be writer who has to work in a coffee shop to earn just enough money to live. You grew I didn't. I would just pull back and so I understand that once you leave I will just be a memory".

I can't stand to look at him anymore so I pull away from his touch, grab my jacket and bag, and run out the front door.

But then it hit me, my roommate has her boyfriend over and I promised I wasn't coming home tonight.

I head back to the front door and just stare at it trying to build up the confidence to make my way back inside.

Hoping that Lando has returned to the stream I go to reach for the door but it is pulled open by someone from the inside.

Lando and Max stare back at me.

Max grabs me a pulls me inside.

"Olive where were you going, Lando said you were upset and left and I was worried," Max asked

"I Just have a lot on my mind, okay, so I was just going to head home for the night but then I remembered Leah has Alex over so yeah"

"well just stay here Max says, I'm going to head back to the stream, are you sure you're okay. Do you need anything" Max asked

"No I am fine Max" I reply.

Max walks away and then there is just me and Lando left standing in the kitchen but this time I can't look at him, I can't think or prepare myself for what he is going to say.

[atmilliways]

“Do you know the rules?” for the question prompts!

(from this list)

Stepping outside my comfort zone to post part one of something that I haven't finished yet, because I could not for the life of me decide between doing this as a pre-ship thing, a "this is the oh moment" thing, or a "they've already been in each other's pants" thing. So I'm writing all of them.

Anyway, here it is. 1276 words so far.

~

Twister, Part 1

“Do you know the rules?”

Steve stares at Dustin and knows, knows he’s taking too long to answer if Dustin is being serious. But . . . is he being serious? Really?

Even though Steve wants to give the kid more credit than that, the way Dustin is staring at him over the top of the spinner board suggests that he is one hundred percent asking him this question.

“Dude,” Steve sighs. “It’s fucking Twister.”

Dustin raises his eyebrows in classic Dustin fashion. (Eddie, watching the standoff from the side, pretends to scratch his nose for cover while discretely mouthing to Steve, ‘Tone.’ Steve tamps down the impulse to smirk in agreement.) “Soooo, you’re saying—”

“Yes, Henderson, I know the damn rules. Hands and feet go on specific colors, first person to wipe out loses. Toddlers can play this, man.”

No one else seems to be paying much attention, still preoccupied with barbeque spread over on the patio—slow eaters, all of ‘em. The burgers and chips and soda will run out sooner or later though. Steve would prefer this heckling to be over by the time any other players straggle over to their patch of shaded lawn.

“Do you need a refresher on left and right?” Dustin asks, and Steve tips his head back to stare at the sky outside of Joyce and Hopper’s new house in despair. “Because the other day—”

Eddie snorts, and now he’s scratching the other side of his nose, no doubt mouthing encouragement to Dustin. Traitor.

“The other day,” Steve snaps, “I missed that turn because you waited until the last possible second to tell me you wanted to go to Mike’s instead of Will’s! And I took the next turn instead, it barely added half a minute to the meter.”

“Meter?” Dustin frowns, perplexed. (Score one for team Harrington! . . . Against a lot, but Steve will take it.) “What meter?”

“Like in a taxi, egghead. I’m going to send away for one and start charging you a fare every time I give you a ride if you don’t cool it with this shit.”

Eddie lets out an honest to god guffaw, and now it’s Dustin‘s turn to look betrayed. Pretty dramatic of him, in Steve’s opinion, but they get through the rest of the game’s minimal setup without much more sniping. When they’re done Dustin yells at his friends to come play, then lets out a frustrated huff and heads towards the patio when no one gets up.

Steve and Eddie both survey the mat and its colorful dots with a sense of accomplishment, minuscule as it is. Well—minuscule for Steve. His bites have pretty much healed up. Eddie still has a ways to go, deeper holes in his skin and muscles to knit slowly up into knots of scar tissue. Sometimes, if he moves too quick or for too long, Steve catches him wincing when he thinks no one’s looking.

“You playing?” Steve asks, somewhere between curious and concerned.

There’s a flash in Eddie’s eyes as he glances over that Steve doesn’t know how to read. If he had to guess, he’d say that the guy doesn’t want to be babied, which. Understandable. But the look makes Steve’s skin prickle oddly, like. . . . Well, he doesn’t know, but like something. (There’s a reason the Henderson vs Harrington board, which thankfully doesn’t literally exist, is showing about a million to one. Steve tries not to think about it much.)

“What, and miss a game that even toddlers can play?” Eddie smirks, putting his hands on his hips in a perfect mirror of Steve—who hadn’t even realized he’s doing that, shit. “Not on your life, Big Boy.”

The words are still echoing in Steve’s head several rounds of the stupid game later when he puts his right foot on blue. Eddie, with his right hand and foot on yellow and blue respectively, left foot camped out over on red, is hovering smack dab over his lap.

One slip and, Jesus fucking Christ, Munson will be able to weigh in on that big boy thing for sure, and Steve just doesn’t feel ready for that. Not while Mike Wheeler is making the noodliest human bridge right next to them, both feet on green and both hands on red. They shouldn’t have put Will in charge of the spinner for this round, because it's the rest of them that keep getting all the weird pretzel positions.

“Robin, right foot on blue,” Will calls.

With a groan, Robin moves her foot to the nearest blue circle—right under Steve. “If your ass touches my foot, Harrington, I swear to god,” she mutters under her breath.

“If my ass touches your foot, your gnarly toenails are going to jab me through my shorts,” Steve grumbles back. Because what the hell, it’s not like he talked her into this! She’d agreed to play all on her own.

“Now now, children,” Eddie says. (Is it Steve, or does his voice sound strained?) “Robin’s toenails are lovely, and so is Stevie’s ass. Let’s not any of us be Debbie Downers here.”

“Eddie,” Will calls next, and the spinner whirs. “Right hand green.”

There’s a pause, then Eddie lets out a heavy breath and starts inching that hand back. His fingers crab-walk over the plastic mat. “Some—Someone tell me when I hit it. Can’t see back there.”

And Steve. . . . Steve can see it, alright. In slow motion, almost as though he knows exactly what’s coming a second before it actually happens. Eddie is almost there when he starts trying to switch from crouched forward over his feet like a gargoyle to leaning back on that hand into a full backward arch. Except he doesn’t quite make it, buckling halfway to the equilibrium point, and goes down like a brick.

He lands exactly the way Steve had worried about, forcing an undignified sound from Steve’s lungs as he drops onto Robin’s foot, who yelps and falls over.

“Did I win?” Mike asks, peering upside down at them from amidst his dangling hair. “Hey, I won!”

“My elbow,” Robin groans from half on the mat, half eating grass.

“Off,” Steve wheezes, shoving at Eddie and trying to uncross his eyes.

Eddie rolls away with a groan of his own, arms wrapped around his middle. “Sorry dude. Slipped. Ow.”

Steve—who did get jabbed in the ass by his best friend’s big toenail, thankyouverymuch, in addition to now very much wanting an ice pack to shove down the front of his shorts—doesn’t bother to call bullshit. He knows what happened, Eddie knows what happened. . . . Eddie probably knows that he knows, and that’s enough.

So he ignores Mike’s victory dance (if you could call it that, the kid has no grace whatsoever). He stays on his back, staring up at the gently shifting leaves of the tree hanging over them, and nudges Eddie gingerly in the back with his knee. “Y’okay?”

Will is already helping Robin to her feet. In the background, Steve can hear Joyce directing someone to bring ice. And Argyle saying something about purple palm trees.

“Yeah,” Eddie pants. He cranes his head around to look at Steve with an apologetic smile that still, somehow, makes Steve’s skin prickle. Weird. “Yeah, I’m good,” he says, sounding more recovered. “You?”

Steve lets his eyes fall closed. “I may not be able to have children now, but I’ll live.”

He smirks when he hears Eddie’s snort of surprised laughter. When Eddie, sheepish, tries to apologize again, Steve is already prepared. "No, you’re right, that was like something out of the fucking Three Stooges.”

It’s fine. He needs ice, some aspirin, and no more Twister ever, and he'll be fine.

-

Part 2

[simp999]

Bloopers/Notes from "A New Home!"

☆I don't have anything too silly until ch. 15 :(

Ch. 1, Where am I?:

☆I started this fic at like, 2 am, just on complete impulse. Everything here just summoned itself from my 2 am brainrot.

☆I didn't really chat this chapter out with any friends, so nothing too silly.

Ch. 2, Meeting New People?:

☆I was planning on making reader more of a Simp, but I talked to my friends and we decided against it, since it would be difficult for reader to get along with characters more genuinely.

☆At the end of the chapter, "If I go to sleep here, will I wake back up in the real world?...", I was thinking of just posting chapter 3 where it said: You wake up, story over. The end.

Ch. 3, We are the Army.:

☆Army was an octoling since the beginning! You can see that in the banner. The background is made up of octopi instead of squids, and you can see a bit of a tentacle.

Ch. 4, If memory serves wrong...:

☆Bro I suck at writing flirty stuff. End me now, Aloha's difficult for me to write

☆The "nothin' personal, kid", was a total reference, and I plan on adding many more. I'm going to try my best to add some iconic vines that still suit the scene.

Ch. 5, Descisions, decisions.:

☆On the other hand, I looove drawing aloha! He's so cute and silly! I like to draw his tentacles very round and bubbly and man, his eyes are so pretty!

☆This was the chapter that made me start thinking about giving reader teammates, mostly because they needed someone other than a bench to sleep.

Ch. 6, Hoooow Anoooying.:

☆mASK MY BELOVED

☆Can you tell he's my favorite?

☆I wanted to make him a little silly, giving him more of a personality. He can't be scary all the time, I really do think part of it is an act.

☆Another anime reference: the lens of his gasmask shining, just like in an anime.

Ch. 7, SUB WEAPON HELL!:

☆I was torn between what to do for the banner. I already used Mask with his mask on for chapter 6, and I planned on using his maskless version for what's now chapter 13. But then I remembered another one of my favorite boyos, Desi! I know he isn't featured too much in this chapter, and I'm sorry, but I needed something!

☆Anyways, I know this entire battle by heart. I know all of Mask's voice lines. Save me.

☆I try my best to not show bias in my fics, but I will relentlessly show it outside of em'.

☆Ugh, can't wait for team cyan moments fr

Ch. 8, Newfound Family.:

☆THE GUYS FR

☆I was stuck between just giving reader nameless teammates, incase ya'll already had your own ocs in mind of something, but I HATE nameless characters. And characters that don't have a personality. I figured that I'd already have to give them personalities, so why not go all in.

☆Soooo, I threw in my beloved OCs! I've had these guys around for YEARS, so I know them and their personalities like the back of my hand, which makes writing for them super easy and fun!

☆bro they look so cursed with splatoon 1 hairstyles to me. I didn't have the heart to snatch their iconic hair, so ignore that.

LOOK AT HIM!! ITS NOT EVEN MILO ANYMORE HE'S JUST MARCUS SMH.

Ch. 9, Shopping Spree!:

☆I actually wrote this and the last chapter at 1 am by accident. I was like oho let me write a few notes down for tomorrow so I don't forget. But here we are 2k words later.

☆After seeing that the next day, I realised that the squad tm would take up 2 chapters total. There's 3 of them. So then I had to figure out how to do the banners. I worked it out, though!

☆Tasha's hair's longer I swear, it just didn't fit on the banner smh

☆Damn she and skull look a lot alike, huh

☆L

Ch. 10, Skull's Territory.:

☆I knew I couldn't have reader simp, but that doesn't mean I can't have some simpery!! So I have Milo, Leo and Tasha to do it!! They get to express my true emotions <3

Ch. 11, A Misunderstanding?:

☆sTEAAAALTH!!! <3333

☆My sweet boy

☆So the poll for background characters was mostly for him ngl

☆THOSE DAMN GOGGLES WERE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS TO SHADE WAAAAH

☆I also may have colored them green by accident the first time and had to start over.

☆I reaaaally hate making characters like Rider go OOC, but I need the story to continue! I'm sorryyyy

Ch. 12, Getting Too Comfortable.:

☆FINALLY WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE UGH

☆Also, blushy rider. ♡♡

☆He wants that battle, dude

Ch. 13, Player Two?:

☆aaaAAAA MAAASK

☆May have made a 9 hour mask playlist to write to.

☆Ahem.

☆I was planning on going in official meeting order for these uhh "getting closer with the S4", (Rider, army, aloha, mask, skull.) but my clear bias for Mask got me to write for him first.

☆I struggled to choose which song, but the idea came to me because I learned all the lyrics to Kick Back(chainsaw man), not too long ago. But I figured I'd just go with one of the most well known series/openings.

☆Didn't make the cut:

-Was gonna have reader and Mask walk in the rain together. That's why reader grabbed Milo's umbrella, cause it was the biggest one.

-c'mon, that would have been cute

Ch. 14, ...You Didn't See that.:

☆I was planning this since the start to be honest. Not exactly this scenario, but I knew I wanted to throw this headcannon in there.

☆After seeing how much love my fic was getting, I was almost going to abandon the idea, afraid that my readers wouldn't like it, and leave.

☆Jeebus those tentacles took me way too long to draw.

Figuring out what to do for Army's meetup+scrapped ideas:

Ch. 15, Sweetheart.:

☆I only made it to 1k words with Skull's part, he really doesn't talk a lot so it's hard to fill up space.

☆Soooooo

☆You guys asked for it: Avi time!

☆Now finally, here's some of the discord chats I had with my friends. Plans for story along with memes. Blanked out hints for the next chapter.:

Ch. 16, An Unexpected Meetup.:

☆I completely winged it. I knew I wanted like- a dummy kinda where we'd see all the S4 at once

☆Sorry for minimal aloha time, we got him earlier in the series though! (Bias game strong, he's not my favorite s4 member :( )

☆I'll try for more aloha time soon I'm sorry

☆The kind of rivalry/jeasoulsy between them wasn't planned and I kinda don't like it, but it is canon that they don't really like eachother so

☆Eh

Ch. 17: Not Much of a Choice, Huh?

☆Ughhh this feels like a dating sim now and I hate it

☆But characters catching feelings ♡♡♡

☆Not to figure out how they deal with them and how readers gonna figure that out

☆Wah

Ch. 18: Challengers Approach!

☆ oOoo they catchin' feelings!!!

Ch. 19: The Freshest Squid on the Block!

☆ YOOOOO LEO FANBOY!?!?!

☆ Hehe, we love making Leo happy

☆ Ugh, Emperor. I was not looking forward to writing him. I personally don't have him as a favorite, I was never able to like his kingly attitude. (I looove his design as somebody who draws nd does character design, though! Well made character.) Buuut...(see ch. 21)

Ch. 20: The Absolute King.

☆Yesss! Reader showing more emotion!!

☆Someone's gettin' angyyy

☆Ohoho does this count as angst? Berly, but I'm enjoying it

☆ Did you guys know that I half specialise in angst? Yeah enjoy that info

Ch. 21: A Crushing Defeat.

☆ Making you guys hate him off the bat is a lot dunner to write! He was shitty and mean in the first bit where he was shown anyways, so suffer! He'll have to go through some character development eventually, but until then, he's your most despised rival mwahaha

☆I hope the wat I write him makes you wanna deck him in the face :)

Ch. 22: It Only Gets Tougher, I Promise

☆ ... what no, what makes you think mask is my favorite. I show no bias ever. (How many times have I said that, now?)

[sciapod]

Bathtub Photoshoot 💦

Pairing: Henry Cavill x First Person-POV (Female, or at least X wears a bra and has breasts)

Summary: Little private photosesh' with Henners and then some.

Warnings: Dry humping but let's just call it grinding. Edging. 18+ to be safe!! Contains smut. You might be able to find the tiniest bit of angst. And bit of fluff.

Word count: 2.5K

Not beta’ed! I take full responsibility for this fuckup.

Inspired/prompted by this post by @cavillfics

Masterlist

I obviously don't own Henry Cavill, nor do I know him IRL, so it goes without saying that this is a figment of my imagination.

(I took the liberty to edit the photo just a bit and don’t know who to credit for the original edit. Let me know if you know, so I can give credit where it's due.)

Happy reading 💦

---

“Babe, I've got an idea! Can you do something for me, please?”

When I heard you coming through the front door, I rushed to meet you there. You were finally home again and was hanging your jacket on the coat rack when I found you.

“Oh, well,” you reply, “I really want to just lean back, maybe take a shower or something. It’s been a long week, babe. And hello, by the way.”

You step over to me, reach around my waist and pull me against your firm body.

“Mhm, you smell lovely,” you whisper in my hair. I sigh, then wiggle myself free of your embrace.

“Henry, listen,” I look up at you with my best attempt at puppy eyes. You breathe deeply and turn your face, scratching mine with your stubble. It sends shivers through my body.

“Okay,” you hum as your hands roam my body, finding their way to my bare thighs then sneaking up beneath my robe, “tell me.”

I grab your hips and press my core against your thigh as I lean backwards, looking up at you, “I want to take some pictures … of you.”

Your face goes through a range of emotions; surprised, suspicious, smirking, friendly and finally incredibly charismatic: Front-page-style smile.

“That’s the one!” I say with excitement.

“Which one?” you tease, furrowing your brow and looking all suspicious again.

“You know perfectly well, you buffoon!” I say, as I slap your chest playfully.

My entire body lifts when you laugh. You kiss my forehead and twirl some of my hair between a few fingers. Your eyes shift, gazing at various areas of my face. I sigh, then reach for your hands, the one playing with my hair and the other, which I find gently caressing the lace of my panties.

I hold your hands between us and look up at my man.

“You do realize, of course, that you are basically a Greek god carved out of stone.”

“I have been told so, yes.”

“And you do realize that every artist needs a muse, a model, to create from.”

“I have a faint idea of that, yes,” you say, smirking down at me.

“And I happen to be short of a project, and subject, for my portfolio.”

“I see,” your smile broadens, “but what does that have to do with me?”

“Henry!”

My declining patience must have been obvious somewhere in my face or perhaps my exclamation, because you burst out laughing, throwing your head back as you do so. I can’t help but melt a little.

“Tell me what you need me to do, darling,” you say, stroking my hands with your thumbs. I feel warmth spread through my chest. Your face softens and I feel the warmth spread further down.

“Fuck,” I breathe, casting my eyes to the floor. I’m suddenly filled with all kinds of insecurities, imposter syndrome and such, but there’s a reason why you’re my man. You sense it immediately and lift my hands to your lips, kissing them sincerely.

“You’ve got this, babe.”

I sigh, “I know, sweetheart. It's just… Urgh.”

You kiss my forehead.

“Tell me your idea.”

“I…” My voice breaks. You lift my chin up with a single finger, as if it were suddenly light as a feather, forcing me to look into your striking blue eyes.

“I don’t know,” I finally exclaim. “I didn’t have a concrete idea. I just knew that I wanted you to be in the photos.”

You smile, almost apologetically, “Okay, look. I really want to help. But I’m so damn tired. I’ve got an idea, though, of how we may be able to hit two birds with one stone.”

“Okaay?” I say, a slight tinge of hope seeping into my core again.

“I need a bath–”

“–I can’t take a nude picture of you!”

You laugh again, but shake your head, “No, silly. Let me finish.”

My cheeks flush scarlet.

“I need a bath, but instead of taking a shower, I’ll jump in the tub. Once in there, you can have me do whatever you want.”

I squint my eyes, then see a lightbulb flash on.

“YES!” I almost yell, running my hands up your torso and leaning in for a kiss.

“Yes,” I repeat, then press my lips against your sculpted ones. It is as if your lips curl to a smile amidst the kiss.

“Yes,” I say one last time, meeting your eyes, “If you get the water running, I’ll collect my gear.”

Your hands go wandering about on my hips again, dragging my robe up and making my hairs stand on end. You look down at me with a confident smile, saying, “great minds think alike.”

I fight off the urge to kiss you again and instead draw away from you. You catch the waistband of my robe and it slides off as I step away, revealing the new set of lingerie I’m wearing underneath. I stand, looking at you with what I imagine is the expression of a suspicious feline. You, on the other hand, make a low whistle and shake your head in slow motion, clearly surprised and pleased to see what I was hiding beneath. Then you nod toward the living room, signalling I get on with finding my camera.

It takes me a few minutes to find the right lens. When I enter the bathroom, you’re in the process of unbuckling your belt. The tap is running and there’s already a bit of water in the tub.

“Wait,” I say, stopping you just as you’re about to pull your jeans down, “I think I want you in the water dressed.”

You stare for a moment, shrug, say “sure,” then proceed to tug your jeans over your perky bum again.

“Right, erm,” I think for a moment, “No, you know what? Lose the pants, but keep the t-shirt on.”

“Lose the pants,” you repeat and let your jeans fall to the floor. As you stand back up, I realize something.

“We might have a problem,” I say, eyeing the hefty bulge in your boxers.

You follow my gaze, noticing the same problem, then nod in agreement.

“But then again,” you say, “what did you expect, looking like that?” you hint at my open robe and lingerie.

We both shrug, then burst laughing.

“I guess we’ll just have to make it work!” I say, “Now, in the tub with you, buddy.”

You feel the temperature of the water and deciding that it’s decent, turn off the tap, step in and lie down. There’s not a lot of water in there, but I’m assuming it will do. You look up at me with anticipation, “Now what?”

I squint at you, finding the bulge slightly distracting, basically towering above the waterline like another Burj Khalifa. Obviously, you notice my lack of response.

“Hey, babe!” you say, snapping me out of it. I feel my nether region clench.

“Okay, okay!” I shake my head to wake up. You shake yours too, smirking at me.

“We need to do something about that,” I say.

“I can try to hide it?” you suggest.

“How?” I squint. It’s a mastodon of a package you has stored down there, I think to myself.

“Anyway, I need to find a position to photograph you from.”

I begin taking random photos of you from various angles and perspectives, simultaneously adjusting the settings on the camera as I do so. Meanwhile, you roll around to one side, then the other, then back again. The squeaking sounds of your body rubbing against the sides of the tub while you change poses makes the whole situation rather comedic, and I'm convinced you're doing it even worse on purpose. Determined to be somewhat professional, I try to ignore your distractions.

“It’s a good thing we have such good lighting in here,” I say, gazing around the small room, pretending to be focused and ignorant of your attempts at sabotage.

“How do you want me, babe? I feel like… I don’t even know? A fish out of water,” you say, doubting your own wording, “or something like that.”

I sigh, “I know, I get it. I need to think. We’ve also still got that… situation… going on.” I gesture at the, no less apparent, tent between your legs.

“Okay,” you say calmly, “I’ll just lie back and relax, while you think of something.”

“Good.”

As you settle into a comfortable position, I mentally run through the various “golden rules” of photography that I can remember.

Then it’s as if I notice the obvious. The absolute god-like adonis carved in marble in front of me: My initial inspiration. Your white t-shirt, soaked from all the turning and splashing around you did, is sticking to your chest and abs, enhancing the lines of your muscular torso, yet still in a perfectly suggestive fashion; somewhat similar to the drapery you see on these same sculptures. In a fit of impulse, I crawl up to stand on the edges of the tub.

You open your eyes –awoken by my scramblings– fear in your eyes as you reach for me, “be careful, babe!”

“No no, darling! Stay put!” I say, “I’m perfectly safe. It’s dry. My feet are dry. I’m stable, but thank you.” I smile, reassuringly. Suspicious yet accepting, you lower your arms and lie back down. I notice your eyes trail down my exposed body. Lust now clear as daylight in your gaze.

“I think I’ve got the photo soon, babe, then we’re done,” I explain. “Just close your eyes for me.”

You shake your head and smile, then do as I said.

Your head rests on the back of the tub, but your fingers begin fidgeting … around your nether region.

“Are you uncomfortable?” I ask between photos.

“No…” you smirk, eyes still closed, but you shift and rest your hands awkwardly on your stomach instead.

“We can’t have that,” I say, “you’re covering the main part of the photo,” I tease.

You open your eyes, still smirking but not saying a word.

“And you’re revealing, exposing, what we need to hide,” I try to hold back my laugh.

“Okay,” I continue, “what about… what if you hold your t-shirt at the hem and stretch it down to cover your crotch. Place your other hand casually beside it. Yeah, like that! Exactly, babe. Beautiful.”

I take a couple of photos and look at them on the tiny screen.

“Right, hold that pose, but just… kinda relax, if you can. I’ll take a few shots more and then you’re done!”

You close your eyes again and begin taking deep breaths, lessening the tension that must have been building in your shoulders over the last few days. As peace falls upon your face and body, I take the last photos. After quickly reviewing them on the tiny screen, I decide that I’m done. I turn off my camera and place it on the shelf above the tub before crawling down to sit on the edge of the tub, my feet in the water between your legs.

“Okay, it’s a wrap!”

Your eyes flash open and you let go of your t-shirt. The fabric bounces back, revealing your hairy tummy, teasing me. You look up at me with mischief, then give your member a squeeze.

“Get down here,” you say, almost ferocious in your voice.

I feel myself get all giddy with sudden anticipation as you rise like Poseidon from the water. Before I can do anything other than yelp, you pull me down onto you and with a splash and a thud I land against your rock-hard body. I'm instantly soaked.

“Finally,” you mutter, drenching my face and neck with hungry kisses. Your hands tease the collar of my robe before sliding it over my shoulders. Your eyes explore the curves of my upper body, then you adjust me so that I sit straddled upon you. You don’t speak a word, but your eyes and body say everything I need to know.

I feel your girth throbbing against me. You slide my robe all the way off and without taking your eyes off me, you cast it aside. Then your hands slide up my body. You cup my breasts tenderly, admiring the lace and how the new style of bra suits my breasts. You lick your lips as your thumbs begin stroking my hardening nipples. I sigh and begin grinding against the tip of your member.

You sit up and proceed to kiss and bite the flesh of my breasts. Gently holding the lace aside with your fingers, you capture my nipples between your teeth, ever so gently, before circling your tongue around them with exquisite attention. While squeezing my breasts together, you kiss them one after the other, back and forth, before venturing up to my collarbone and neck. All I can do is whimper and moan.

Then you grasp my hair, pulling my head back. Between kisses and bites on my exposed neck, you breathe damp, sultry words onto my skin. Expressions of how I’ve been a tease, how patient you’ve been and how much you want me now. I want to answer, but I can’t do anything but mutter incoherencies; your throbbing cock eagerly pressing against my core and thus stealing all of my vocabulary.

My breath quickens as I grind harder, cursing the fabrics that keep our cores from meeting, merging. Then you push me towards you, allowing our lips to meet in hungry kisses. My bra loosens. You must have managed to open and take it off me with your other hand, before also casting it aside. You grab at my liberated breasts, then sit up and pull your drenched t-shirt over your head. It lands on the bathroom floor with a splash. My hands instinctively seek the wet fur of your stomach and chest, momentarily squeezing your pecs, then wander south again.

Your eyes read pure hunger and you buck your hips. As I fall back down from the jump, my core meets the powerful strength of your pelvis, bucking yet again. I gasp, overcome by a mixture of arousal and humor. You buck again, a laugh escapes me and somehow, after a few times of this, you’ve managed to free your erection from your boxers. I didn’t notice, but at some point you must have turned on the tap again, because I see you turn it back off. I guess this increased level of water also explains the more slow-motion-like sensation I experience as I land back down on your pelvis; a somewhat softer landing than before. In my own defence, I was entranced and my mind was not functioning at 100%, hence the questionable description. Anyway, both our hips are now submerged under water and I simply shake my head at your mischievous ways. You smirk and pull me down to a deep kiss, slapping my ass through the water, making more water splash all over the place. Everything in the room is certainly wet by now.

I grind against your exposed and infinitely hard cock as your fingers slider under the lace. Your hands grab my cheeks with determination, enhancing the force and enabling you to better thrust against my grinding motion. The friction is causing short-circuits in my brain, making me see colours that aren’t there. My first climax is staggeringly near, but just before I get to release, you buck your hips again, making me scoot off your cock. A devious grin is smeared across your chiseled face.

“You had me waiting, sweetheart. Now it’s my turn to tease.”

---

Thanks for reading my shitpost! Please leave a comment of your thoughts, however nonsensical they may be 💜🙏

Tags in the reblog 🖤Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list.

[cheri-translates]

Headcanon - When you suddenly hold his hand

Original title: 当你突然握住他的手

Original author: 池离子

[ VICTOR ]

You’re sitting on the sofa while Victor’s next to you, looking through documents.

Peering at Victor, you watch as he pores over the documents very seriously - so seriously that he doesn't even notice you staring at him. Carefully admiring him from head to toe, your eyes finally land on Victor’s hand.

His hand is much larger than yours. Looking at your own small and petite hands, you find them adorable and a perfect match for Victor’s well-defined hands. Reaching out, you place your hand atop the hand that he’s using to hold the documents. 

He turns to glance at you, realising that you’re staring at his hand. In response, he swaps the documents to his other hand, freeing the hand that’s held by you.

“You’ve already had one pudding tonight. There isn’t a second one."

You swat his hand angrily.

"What? In your eyes, is everything I do linked to pudding?”

He’s taken aback slightly, but eventually returns his gaze to the document.

You spread his hand flat, then put your own hand on it. One big and one small - a good fit. You can feel the warmth of his palm. This hand held yours at the dance, held your waist in the ski resort, and wiped cream from the corner of your mouth. Thinking about it, you unfurl your hand before clutching Victor’s tightly.

Victor’s eyes never leave the document, but he returns your grip with equal force.

Your hand is delicate and small. His thumb strokes the back of your hand, and the ticklish sensation makes you stifle your laughter. Despite wanting to pull your hand away, he doesn't let you go. Instead, he tightens his grip, as though fearing that you’d pull your hand away from his.

"Don’t move.”

“In this lifetime... you can’t leave.”

-

[ GAVIN ]

Gavin is watching TV with you, the both of you huddled in a corner of the sofa, squished into a small ball. Your head is resting on his shoulder, and your hands are on your kneecaps. A faint light has been purposefully left on in the room to prevent it from being in complete darkness, and also to set the ambience.

Your gaze shifts from the boring advertisement to Gavin, and see that his hand is on his leg.

You’re suddenly struck with a mischievous idea.

You place your small and delicate hand on the back of Gavin’s. Noticing your action, he lowers his head slightly and asks if something’s wrong.

Ignoring him, you continue playing with his hand, feeling the rough callouses on it from years of wielding a gun. After giving them careful touches, you burrow your own hand underneath Gavin’s. With this, your hand makes direct contact with his leg.

Gavin doesn’t say a word. You can sense that he’s gradually tightening his grip on your hand. He’s exerting pressure, but is in control to ensure that he isn’t grasping your hand too tightly. He wraps your small hand in his large palm. His heartbeat seems to be following his palm, sending you a steady stream of signals.

Lifting your head to look at him, you find that his eyes are fixed on the TV, and his ears have turned crimson.

Using your free hand, you reach out to touch his ear. It’s terribly hot.

“Gavin, your ears are so red and warm...”

Gavin turns to face you.

“Cough. That’s because... you lighted the fire...”

-

[ LUCIEN ]

You’ve come to Lucien’s laboratory to pick him up from work. By this time, Lucien should have already hung up his white coat, and should be sitting on his office chair, grinning as you rush in with snacks you bought along the way. But today, when you rush in with the egg tart you purchased, the white lab coat is still on Lucien. He sits before the laptop, holding some documents while perusing through them.

"You’re here? Sorry, there was a little issue at work today. I'm currently looking for the cause of it. You might have to wait a while. I'll be done as soon as possible.”

You nod, placing the egg tart on his table. Shifting a chair over, you sit beside him.

Lucien always smells good, you think to yourself. There’s always a cool and fragrant scent on him, but you’ve never seen him spraying cologne. The flowers at home don’t have this scent either. Giving him a careful whiff, you can’t guess what it is.

You haven’t seen Lucien in an entire day! Right now, you really need a Lucien-recharge, so you stand up to move behind him. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you bury your face in his white coat, one hand hanging loosely in front of his chest. He isn’t too surprised, nor is he caught off guard. After all, you’ve used this trick many times, and he’s grown used to it.

Inhaling Lucien’s scent deeply, you find that he’s really nice to smell. Lucien seems to be tickled by your breath. He chuckles lightly while giving the arm in front of him a gentle pet. You grab his hand.

"Lulu... how much longer will you take?”

He grips your hand tightly, as though he’s giving you a response.

“Ten minutes. Just wait for a little longer. I’ll be done soon, okay?”

With this, he brings your hand to his lips, giving the back of your hand a gentle kiss.

This action flusters you so much that you want to find a hole to burrow into. Although you hurriedly attempt to withdraw your hand, Lucien’s stronger than you, and he clasps your hand tightly, giving it another firm kiss.

As though succumbing to fate, you slump against his neck, putting your arms around his neck.

Even though you can’t see your own expression, your face has already started to feel warm, and your ears are probably red to their tips as well.

"You must be feeling shy. Let me see...” After saying this, he turns his head.

“Don’t look!" You mumble, burying your face in the shoulder of his white coat.

-

[ KIRO ]

The two of you have just finished a game, and are slumped on two beanbags next to each other, surrounded by potato chips and soda. Kiro tosses the controller to the side, then leans against you coquettishly.

"Miss Chips is too good at playing! I can't beat her at all! I’m not playing anymore! It’s so embarrassing!”

You rub the golden head that has leaned over. His hair is so soft. For a moment, you even feel like you’re petting a large golden retriever.

You glance at the controller which has been thrown onto the carpet. Eyes shifting upwards, you see a pair of hands that you’re highly envious of.

He’s a celebrity, so of course it’s very important to have a pair of nice-looking hands. Kiro has taken off his ring. Originally, his hands are thin, long and pale, and the part where he often wears the ring is even more tender. You look at your own hands. As compared to Kiro’s, you probably aren’t even considered a female.

Brimming with jealousy, you slowly stroke the back of his hand. The delicateness of Kiro’s hand is just like yours.

"Miss Chips..."

You hear him calling you like this, but you have no intention of responding. You simply rely on your courage to continue. You put your hand in his palm and look at him, anticipating his next move.

Kiro is fascinated by the huge watery eyes you’re giving him, and immediately grabs your hand.

"I knew it... You’re just as hungry as I am, aren’t you? Let's find something to eat! There’s never enough snacks!”

"?"

He gets up quickly and grips your hand tightly, trying to pull you up too.

"What do you want to eat? I'll make it for you!"

You look up at him as he radiates with light, and release a chuckle.

"Okay, okay!”

Borrowing his strength, you stand up as well. The two of you walk to the kitchen while grinning and swinging each others’ hands like little children.

-

[ SHAW ]

It's too hot. Surviving the summer is going to be difficult.

The air conditioner at home is broken, and you’re still sweating despite wearing a blouse. Shaw steps out of the kitchen with a large glass of iced cola in his hand. Judging by the volume, it’s clear that he mixed Cola and Sprite again. 

He sits next to you, gulping it down, and you watch as water vapour surrounds and the glass. it must have been chilled. You’re going crazy from the heat, so you unfurl your hand in front of him, indicating that he had better give you a sip of the iced cola.

Instead, this ignorant man put his hand on yours. Not only is there no cola to drink, but it’s also warm.

"Stinky Brother, I asked you to give me a sip, not your hand." You swat his hand away, moving forward to snatch the cola in his other hand.

"Hey hey hey Mary Sue, be careful. I mixed two soft drinks in this. Don't spill it on me..."

Shaw knows that you genuinely can’t stand the heat, so he doesn’t tease you this time. Instead, he obediently places the cup in the palm of your hand. The wall of the cup is icy cold, and it’s so comfortable that you want to stick your face against it.

You take a small sip, and the cooling sensation fills your mouth, and your mood becomes exponentially better. Filled with a sudden impulse, you reach out, grabbing Shaw’s hand tightly.

You expected Shaw to respond by returning your grip.

But Shaw is Shaw, and he’s always testing your patience.

"Oh? Auntie, you maintain your skin pretty well for someone who has reached middle-age... tsk tsk tsk.” He speaks, lifting your hand up and scrutinising it.

"You brat. I’m right here, so you better cleanse your mouth...”

With the cola in one hand, you try to retract the other.

Not caring that it’s warm, Shaw grasps your hand tightly, uttering a casual apology. On account of the cola, you decide not to hold a grudge against him.

"Mary Sue, save me some. Don't drink it all." Shaw leans over, and the only thing separating your faces is the glass.

“Also, let’s head out later. Your hand’s really empty... I need to get you some jewellery... Do you like rings?”

–

More translated and original works: here

–

[ Permission to translate ]

池离子: OK! Just state that the source is LOFTER池离子. Also, if you’ve posted it, could you also take a screenshot for me? No need for the whole thing - just a little will do!

[fayeimara]

Meant To Be Series || One For Every Billion

1. Operation: Meet Shiratorizawa

*Both written and SMAU parts this epsiode*

You hear the familiar sound as you open the door and look inside the gym. The Shiratorizawa campus is definitely impressive but nothing feels more familiar than walking into a strange gym filled with mostly strangers. Back home or a world away, volleyball is the same, perfect sport.

"Y/nnnnnn!"

You're smiling wide before you even lock eyes with your favourite redhead. "Tendou!"

Your greeting is muffled in a bear hug to beat all bear hugs and you can't help but laugh as you wrap your arms around your cousin's best friend.

"I am glad you could make it." Toshi is standing behind Tendou with a small smile and you pull away to give him a hug too.

"Let us introduce you to coach first, and then you can meet the others."

"Sounds good!"

The three of you walk over to the side where a small elderly man is scowling at the players on the court and when Toshi introduces you, you follow what you know of polite customs here and bow at the waist in greeting, "Thank you for having me!"

"I hear you play as a setter for a premier league."

Yeah, Tendou and Toshi weren't lying about his intimidating demeanor, but you're unfazed. You've dealt with some like him and they're good leaders in their own way.

"Yes, sir."

"You're quite short for your age."

You blink. You're pretty sure you're the average height for girls your age. You're definitely on or above average in your league even though you're not as tall as your hitters. Okay, cheeky, it is.

"Yes, sir. I hear that sometimes from opponents before we play. Not so much after a game, however, if at all." Tendou starts chuckling only to muffle it when the coach's sharp gaze locks onto him for a moment before focusing back on the court.

"Is that so." He finally looks over, making eye contact and drawing out the silence for a few quiet seconds. "Well, height isn't critical for a setter, though it's an asset."

"Yes, sir." You have to bite the inside of your cheek so you don't push it. You're aware of his status and tenure, after all. To someone like him, kids your age with a little cheeky boldness and confidence can be surprising and impressive. Too much is disrespectful and you're still a guest here at the end of the day.

He looks back at the team and you do startle a bit when he barks out, "Did I say it was time for a break?!"

Looking over to the court, you finally realize the practice game has all but stopped. You meet several wide eyed, disbelieving stares before they jolt back into motion.

Tendou and Toshi leave you there to rejoin their teammates with a grimace and a nod, respectively. You just smile blandly and take a seat next to their coach.

-x-x-x-

By the time Coach Washijo blows the whistle for the end of their practice, you've got a clipboard on your lap with notes and the begrudging respect of the ornery man beside you. Yes, you know your shit when it comes to volleyball and you didn't hesitate to use your knowledge to impress. You have a feeling he'll be taking a look at the link you wrote down to your national games at some point given the observations you pointed out. Mission: Success.

As the boys are grabbing water and towels and gathering around, Coach locks eyes with you once again to study you as you smile politely back at him, waiting for what he's chewing over. "You can visit again."

And then he stands to address his team before heading over to his office and leave them to clean up.

You look away from his retreating figure and, oh my, that's a lot of eyes on you. Why do athletes look so pretty? You smile wider and stand to introduce yourself, "Hello. I'm L/n, Y/n, Toshi's cousin. Nice to meet you all and thank you for having me here for this practice."

You bow and they start stuttering and speaking over each other while Tendou laughs, knowing you're also teasing a little. They're clearly flustered so it takes the edge of your own nerves and your smile relaxes into something a little easier.

"Wow.. that was.. different. I've never seen anyone interact with Coach like that." You look over to an ash haired boy, oh hello- "I'm Eita Semi. Nice to meet you.”

He sounds a little brusque.. hmm. He's their setter and knowing Toshi and Tendou...

"Semi-san, your sets... they really show your love for volleyball."

His mouth drops, hopefully in surprise, but you also hope you didn't say anything too forward? You know it's pretty different here and some things like feelings aren't used as carelessly in conversation but.. he's blushing. Oh no.

You try to correct, just in case, "I mean, I hope it's not presumptuous or inappropriate to say! I'm lucky to call myself a setter too, so from one to another, I just wanted to say I can see how much fun you have and it's inspiring!"

Okay, now Tendou is literally dying of laughter, bent over grabbing his stomach but you can see his face and yeah, he literally looks like the emoji that's crying with laughter. And- what?! Even Toshi is smiling a little, he knows that under your calm and playful exterior there's an impulsive, reckless storm.

Semi raises his hand up to the back of his head and you swear he's full on blushing. Okay, yeah, no, you're good. It might sound cruel but when you see people more embarrassed or flustered than you, usually, you find your own equilibrium steadies in response.

"That's- uh- thanks! I hear you're incredible. I mean, as a setter. I- Thanks."

The rest of the team has been looking on and slowly amusement and excitement is like a wave that slides across their features. One of his teammates hits Semi across the back, knocking him forward a bit, while teasing him about compliments from a pretty girl. But you politely pretend not to hear and focus on some of the other members as they start asking you about yourself and answering your return questions about each of them.

I think we can call Operation: Meet Shiratorizawa a success, you think, happily satisfied with the people your dear cousin has to call his teammates and friends.

Prev | Next

Masterlist

Behind The Scenes!

-Toshi is not directly related to Y/n but they might as well be brother and sister for how close they are

-He’s actually her (bear with me, please) dad’s brother’s sister-in-law’s son : Her uncle’s wife is an Ushijima - so her aunt by marriage is sister to Toshi’s mom.. I’m sorry, am I making any sense?

-Their mutual cousins will appear in the story, you’ve already seen their profiles in Family Matters: Kazuya, Akira, and Akari

-Tendou has known Y/n as long as he’s known Toshi and treats her like a cross between best friend and older brother, which means he’s sometimes mean, always teasing, and he will smack, cut, bury a bitch if they hurt her

A/N: Two things.. 1) I absolutely love Ushijima, I find he's seriously underrated. Although I guess I’m guilty here too because he’s Y/n’s family instead of a love interest 😔 If anyone ever wants to see a Toshi fic, let me know, I’ll do my best to work on his characterization 2) CHARACTERIZATION... guys, I’ve wondered this with all the HQ characters I’ve incorporated so far, but.. I don’t know if I’m hitting anywhere close to what they might actually be like in the scenarios I put them in?? So I apologize in advance, and profusely, for all the HQ characters that turn out not quite.. the way they should lol. The writing kinda sorta maybe gets away from me all the time 😅

I lied, there's a third.. I know I've made several posts on days that I've posted so far, and while I do hope to be consistent with a steady couple posts a week (particularly concerning this fic, or rather, not including other fics and stuff I might decide to post as I get more comfortable here), I may not always be able to deliver the same amount of content as I a) am still slowly getting a handle on the social media aspect and how to smoothly deliver it; and b) catch up to where I'm at in the story. So I just want you all to know, I really appreciate your patience with me <3

[one-abuse-survivor]

Do you have any tips on how you deal with your bad trauma days that you're comfortable sharing? I know they won't work for everyone, but I'm having a bit of a nasty trauma day and I'm not quite sure how to handle it tbh. thank you in advance :]

Sorry to hear you're having a bad day :( I don't mind sharing, and even if I can only share the things that help me personally, I really hope some of this can help you or someone else! And, of course, the following tips are all coming from someone who is not living in an unsafe or abusive situation anymore; so this might not be helpful for someone having a bad trauma day while still being in a traumatic situation.

I think, for me, one of the most important steps of getting through bad trauma days is to realise I'm having a bad trauma day. During those days, it's easy to get carried away by my messy thoughts and emotions and take them as fact. For example, I might feel really hopeless, or defensive, or out of control, and in the moment those feelings are so real it's hard to remember how it is to not feel that way. It's like my brain decides this is what life as a whole feels like and rolls with it.

When this happens, I try to ask myself is this: “was I feeling this way yesterday?” (or an hour ago, or a three days ago?). “Did I feel like there was no hope for me or like everything was too much and too painful yesterday?” Most often, this far into my recovery, the answer is no. I was having a fine day yesterday. Everything felt under control yesterday. And remembering this this helps me believe it'll feel that way again tomorrow and that what I'm feeling right now is temporary—it's a wave I've ridden many times before, and I just have to ride it again.

Once I've realised this, I take a few minutes to accept that the next few hours or couple or days are gonna be rough and messy, and I’m allowed to not be hard on myself for not achieving the same things I would on a normal day. You know those posts that say "your best looks different every day"? During bad trauma days, I make an effort to accept that my best is going to be very very low, and that's okay. It's okay if all I do is survive, rest, and work on soothing myself and riding the wave. With some luck, everything else will be able to wait a little bit—a couple of hours at the very least.

What I do to get through the worst of it varies. Sometimes, I lie in bed stay away from people and my phone for a bit, because I know I might say or do something impulsive or hurtful. I allow myself as much time as I need to go through all the heavy and ugly emotions and cry if I need to, and only move out of bed when I feel a bit more in charge of myself again.

Sometimes, I vent-write about the emotions I'm going through to express myself. I usually write stories where the characters are experiencing the same things as I am but for completely different reasons so I don't trigger myself further by remembering my own experiences.

Sometimes, I do things that comfort and distract me, like watch a feel-good movie I've watched 30 times or funny/cute videos online.

I always try to allow myself anything my body tells me I need in the moment (as long as it's not self-destructive, of course). If I'm craving something salty, I'll eat a bag of chips, for example. If I need to cancel plans, or to turn the lights off, or to lie down, or to put on clothes with soothing textures, or to hug a stuffed toy, I'll do those things. If I start falling asleep, I allow myself to fall asleep. I've found when I'm in distress it's pretty easy for me to know what my body needs, but it's also easy to try to deny myself those things because I feel like “they're silly or I don't deserve them”. So I make a conscious effort to fight that voice and try to treat myself like a would any sick person I was taking care of: with compassion.

In addition, I think it’s a good idea to keep around things or tools you might need in future bad days. For example, when I cry, I usually crave something tasty afterwards, so I try to keep a small stash of snacks around that I can turn to on bad days (since during those days I might not be able to go buy them). Other people might find it helpful to have apps like Calm Harm or Emergency Chat installed, or to carry a comfort item or a stim toy around, or to own an extra soft blanket or something you bought for the sole purpose of breaking it if you really need to break something at any point. 

Of course, not all these things can always be done—sometimes you're not home or you have responsibilities to attend to, and can’t just take a nap or distract yourself. But I think just being aware of your needs during bad trauma days, and allowing yourself to meet those needs when possible even if it means putting almost everything else on hold for a little bit, can really go a long way.

I also think even though an important part of trauma recovery can be to step out of your comfort zone and face things that feel scary and unsafe, during bad trauma days it's okay to stay in your comfort zone and not face those things. So if, for example, busses make you feel unsafe or anxious, but you're making an effort to ride them when you need to (instead of avoiding them at all costs), I think it's okay if facing the bus is too much during a bad trauma day and you end up avoiding it. You don’t need to be hard on yourself for it. Again, your best doesn’t have to look like it usually does. Bad trauma days are survival days, not recovery days. You can work on continuing to recover when you're feeling better again.

Sending a virtual hug ❤ I hope you feel better soon, and if anyone else wants to share their advice, you’re more than welcome to!

[quirkdotcom]

The Arrangement //

Shoto Todoroki x Fem! Reader

Part One: The Mall Incident

Part Two

Summary: Your father is a particularly strong pro hero, and owns his own agency, however, he seemingly has picked an opportunity for you to be the tie between his agency, and pro hero Endeavor's agency.

Authors Note:

One; I'm planning this to be a three part fic, my next update hopefully on Friday May 15th ! Let me know if you'd like to be on this specific taglist, or even a taglist for anything I post !

Two; I wanted to have a little fun in this, so I added in an OC of mine! I made the reader attend an unnamed school, where her friends wouldn't be main characters from MHA, and decided to throw in Maiko (my OC) anyways, I hope you enjoy !

"A student from UA? Is father okay? I thought he hated that school?" You had to stop yourself, had you really heard your mother right?

She sighed heavily, shaking her head slightly, "He does, however, your father is willing to look past the fact as long as everything goes according to plan" 

This time, it was your turn to sigh.

This 'plan' was one of you meeting some student, your parents meeting, and at the end of the day, agreeing to a marriage after graduation.

You knew that you really had no choice in the matter, which is why you had never put up a fight about it, but it didn't mean that you were particularly happy about it.

Quietly, you stood up, excusing yourself from the table and your mother, leaving the dainty tea cup where it sat.

"Well, since the meeting with this student will be this weekend, I'm going to go out and buy an outfit for it." You bowed your head slightly before turning and leaving the room.

Now out of sight of your mother, you stretched, stifling a yawn as you made your way to your room, grabbing your phone from your pocket, sending a quick message to your closest friend, asking if she'd accompany you to the mall.

The two of you attended a private academy focused on teaching it's students to not only strengthen their quirks, or accelerate their academics, but also in etiquette and manners. Everything was about being proper and elite.

It was the very same school that your father had transferred to after his time at UA.

You personally didn't quite like it there, at times some students tried to pick on you, or the teachers would reprimand you for even the slightest mistake.

But, just like the marriage arrangement, you had no choice in what school you attended, your father was hellbent on you following his steps, and staying the hell away from UA.

Regardless, you had eventually made some friends, and for the first few years, you scored in the top of your class.

"Oh, (Y/n) while you're out, would you mind picking up a few things for me?" Your mother's voice rang out from behind your door, breaking your train of thoughts.

"Just make me a list, and leave it on the counter!" 

It didn't take long for you to change out of your uniform and into something comfier, or for you to grab your messenger style purse, or to find the list from your mother. With your father gone, there were no distractions or unnecessary lectures.

What took the most time was getting to the mall. You could have driven, but it was nice out, the sky was clear of clouds, and there was a light breeze that flowed through the leaves in the trees.

So, you took to walking. Though, when you got to the mall, your best friend was standing with her arms crossed and a bored look on her face.

"(Y/N)! There you are! I've been waiting for hours!" She gave a dramatic sigh as you walked over.

"Calm down Maiko ! " you chuckled, she was almost always over dramatic, something that had drawn you to her in the first place.

She gave you a playful wink, and nodded her head to the doors, starting to walk inside, "Whatever, we both know that I can't calm down," she paused, giving small jazz hands, "I've got constant anxiety" 

"Ah, the curse of having a third eye quirk," You followed behind, then moved to the side of her. 

"Oh! What's the occasion for today's trip?" Maiko tucked a piece of light brown hair behind her ear, eyeing you as she waited for a response.

You hesitated, she still didn't know about the whole arranged marriage, and it had been about a month since you had found out.

"Oh...my family and I are meeting another family for some business thing, so I needed to get a new outfit in case they have a son or daughter our age, " You spouted off a lie, knowing that she'd fall for it, only because she trusted you.

"Ooooh another potential merger for your dad's hero agency?" 

You nodded, pausing as your stomach gave a quiet rumble. 

Despite the lunch you were having with your mother earlier, you didn't really eat. 

"Hey, let's get something to eat first," You point to the nearest food outlet.

Before you know it, Maiko and you are each tossing fries to the other, both failing to catch most in your mouth, but you are having a good time regardless.

Once out of fries, you and her are left with your milkshakes, hers chocolate, and your's strawberry. Something kind of impulsive as you haven't had one strawberry flavored in a few years.

"Hey, I think we could probably take these with us to go look for an outfit," Maiko picks hers up, already a third of it gone.

With a nod, you stand up, grabbing your shake and bag, waiting for Maiko before heading off to your favorite store.

"Hey what about this?" She held up a pleated, light blue skirt, it would stop just above your knees, and complimented you very well, "It even has real pockets!"

"And I could wear it with this shirt...and maybe the jean jacket we found earlier?" You smiled happily, holding up a plain white t-shirt, a small v neck cut, nothing too extreme but not too plain.

Your friend placed the skirt into your basket, and you followed suit with the shirt. All that was needed now, would be to grab the jean jacket from earlier.

However, as you turned, you ran into a...hard surface and along with you, came your half finished milkshake.

You stumbled back, eyes wide as you realized what had just happened.

"Oh my gosh, I am so-"

But the male cut you off, his voice monotone as he did, "Save it, just move out of the way, I need to clean my shirt," 

You quietly moved to the side, watching as the moody stranger walked away, leaving you and Maiko to recover.

He had red hair...well only half of his hair was red, and the other half was white, leaving you to wonder how much hair dye it had taken to get it to look so perfect. 

"Well...I wish I could've helped you see that coming...but uh..I got the jacket?" She smiled sheepishly, causing you to let out a nervous laugh, releasing the tension you didn't know you had.

"Okay, cmon lets go pay!" You turned, still reeling from the encounter with that guy..but hey, at least you wouldn't be seeing him again! 

So, with that thought in mind, Maiko and yourself brought your chosen outfit to the front counters, paid and left the store.

"Hey, are you doing anything tonight?" You turned to Maiko after some five minutes, a thought in the back of your mind, nagging at you since you had left the house to meet her. 

"I don't think so! Why, is your mom cooking tonight? Anything she makes is always better than your dads...or yours," she poked her tongue out at you.

"Wha?! Hey! Im not that bad of a cook!" You pouted and crossed your arms, turning away from her, "Well I did have something to tell you but now its not happening," 

She immediately moved in front of you, "Wait no! Your cooking is good! Just tell me the news!" 

"It'll have to wait for my house, it's kind of big news…"

And with that, the two of you set off for your house, Maiko calling her mom and letting her know where she'd be for the night. 

The walk was spent talking about anything and everything, and at one point Maiko tripping and you having to catch her, but hey, that's what friends are for. 

As you approached your house, you spotted your fathers car in the driveway, causing you to screw your face up in dread. 

Hopefully he didn't have a lecture for you, especially if Maiko was here. You had always hated how he seemed to pick on you whenever your friends were over.

And much to your dismay, when you walked inside he met you with a sour look, "(Y/n), where have you been? Don't forget about this weekend's meeting, not to mention the exams coming up," 

You bit back a response about how the exams were two months away, and instead just nodded your head, busying yourself with slipping your shoes off, "I was buying a new outfit for our meeting. I told mother before I left."

He paused, now eyeing you and Maiko, "And came home with...Fujino was it?" 

She nodded, even though she practically lived at your house for a week at a time due to the amount of sleep overs you had, your father had barely bothered to remember her name. 

"Im sorry for not telling you ahead of time, Sir." She bowed her head slightly, only really apologizing because she knew that if she didn't, it would come down on you. 

"Make your way to (Y/n)'s room, I still need to have a few words with her," he commanded, waiting for her to go up the stairs before he continued.

"And (Y/n), do not forget how important this marriage arrangement is. The Todoroki family is powerful, Endeavor is rising in his ranks as a hero, and his son will follow suit. You have to make sure that you are seen as exemplary, no mistakes can be made. Do you understand?" 

You paused, heart hanging heavy, "Yes father…" 

Once he let you go, you made your way to the top of the stairs, seeing that Maiko was waiting for you, a worried look in her eyes, "So...a marriage proposal?" 

"Welcome to the news I had for you…" 

You two moved into your room, the bag of clothes dropped onto the floor, and you climbed onto your bed, grabbing an orange bunny plush, hugging it to your chest.

"Okay so I wanted to tell you about the arrangement but...I dunno, its hard. I'm having my choice taken away from me and for what? So my father and this other hero to have a more powerful agency?" 

"(Y/n)...im so sorry that you've been going through this alone. I'm here for you, whatever you need!" She moved to a swinging chair you had, sitting in it carefully as she thought for a moment, "So, you've never met this guy or his family?" 

"At most I know his family name. But Im too busy focusing on school work to pay attention to how his father is "So high up the ranks" or whatever. Its like my father thinks that this 'Endeavor' guy is the number two pro hero or something…" You puffed out a breath of air, pursing your lips as you thought quietly. 

Maiko stared at you for a few minutes, blinking a few times as she tried to break the news to you. 

"Uhh..Endeavor...as in Enji Todoroki?" 

You looked up, nodding quietly at her puzzled look. 

"(Y/n) he is the number two hero...or wait..if All Might retired a few years back... then number one actually!" She hummed as she herself started to think but eventually shook her head, eyes widening. 

Maiko quickly pulled out her phone, typing hurriedly into it and gasping, "(Y/n) wait! His son goes to UA! His son is reportedly one of the Big Three of his class!" She stopped, scrolling, "uh oh…" 

At this, you scrambled from your spot to her, pulling the phone from her hand to look at what the cause of this 'uh oh' was. 

It was a picture.  A picture of Endeavour's son. He had red and white hair, and a glare so deadly it probably would kill someone on sight. 

But what got you more was the fact that this was the guy from the mall earlier.  You had totally spilled a strawberry shake all over the number one hero's son, and the guy who you would be marrying after graduation. 

"This is...this is fucked. Im so screwed! Not only did I embarrass myself but now I've probably made it seem like im a clumsy girl who likes to shop all the time and now this...Todoroki guy is going to tell his father about me and then it'll ruin the arrangement and my father will kill me." You spouted off more worries until Maiko grabbed your shoulders, shaking you lightly.

"Hey! We aren't planning your funeral yet! Maybe we can meet up with him before you have to meet with his dad! I think I know one of the students at UA!" 

You looked to her, your breathing returning to normal as you nodded along, maybe that could work after all.

"Okay so, we ask whoever you know to get his number and text him about how it was me who spilled the drink and I wanted to apologize...and that Im also the girl he's meeting this weekend!" 

Maiko punched her fist into the palm of her hand, "Okay, lets set this plan into action! I'll text Kirishima!" 

You eyed her, realizing that you had never questioned how she knew anyone at UA, "While you do that, mind explaining to me about whoever this Kirishima is?" 

She only smiled for a moment, putting her phone down after sending him a message about Todoroki, "Oh! He and I work in the same coffee shop! Not everyone is super rich you know, but he's pretty nice guy, kinda cute too. But, you know how my mom is. Im surprised that she let me be friends with you, I swear, she's scared of anyone!" 

You gave a 'Mhhm' to her, knowing full and well that this was the coworker who she tended to talk about but never named, knowing that you'd probably show up to her work to try and get more information.  But hey, you'd leave it at that for now. 

"Well...I guess that now we wait for Kirishima to hopefully send us Todoroki's number?' 

"Now we wait! And with our good luck, by Wednesday we can smoothen out what happened at the mall…" 

You nodded once, as much as this plan seemed rickety, you were willing to take the chance. While you hated the idea of a marriage to whoever this young hero may be, you know that if you messed it up, your father would never let you live it down. 

[thedogsled]

You seem to be having a not a great day today, so here's a light-hearted ask. I'm having a good day, curled up in pjs with cuddly pets watching Leverage with my sister. Leverage is one of my favorite shows, because it's smart and fun and has great characters that grow over the seasons. Besides Supernatural, what's a show you really enjoy and why?

Thank you so much for the ask! I’m sorry I didn’t reply to it sooner, I’ve come down with a head cold and this is really the first day in several I’ve been able to compose more than a tweet about how much it sucks (swallowing = a knife jammed right into my inner ear, it’s super fun). But I did want to answer your question so I’ve been musing on it since your ask came in.

If it was just “what’s your favorite show right now” it’d be an easy answer: The Boys. The Boys, back to front, front to back, upside down and inside out. The first season was fantastic, and it felt like it woke me up to being excited about TV again after my interest in The Walking Dead waned mid-season. Everything new has seemed very plastic recently, and even The Mandalorian, which is super cool, is kind of like the Cartoon Network dub of Dragonball Z, so Disneyfied in its bloodlessness that although I’m enjoying it it feels even more synthetic as a result. The Boys was the opposite of that, and also just whoever invented Karl Urban, period, just deserves a nobel prize for that masterpiece. He pronounces twat wrong (okay okay it’s a dialect thing) but you can’t have everything =D

So instead (and because it’s cheating that I can pimp The Boys and wax lyrical about loves of old) I interpret your question as sort of like “Which show is your comfort food?” Which show do I go back to when I’m feeling like TV needs to give me a cuddle. I had a good think about it, because there’s a few…

(aside: I shouldn’t have put that gif in before I started writing. ahem.)

There’s been a few over the years, for sure. As a thirteen year old I used to watch and rewatch Buffy episodes, mostly season 2 (baby Spike!). At eighteen, it was old VHS of Deep Space Nine, my favorite ep was “Wrongs Darker Than Death or Night” which I watched repeatedly and think about constantly even today. 

But the show I keep coming back to is due South.

This post is a long post, it also deals with discourse (because my relationship to entertainment is so often mired in it, so please don’t proceed if you’re rather avoid it) and this is where it begins:

Okay, so fun fact: I watched due South the first time it aired with my parents (I was about 9) and then when it was on TV again as a repeat, I recorded it on VHS by RUSHING home every single day from school with nothing else on my mind but sitting on the floor two feet from the telly to watch it. Quantum Leap was on right after, and I had an entire different set of VHS tapes to record that on, so had to quickly switch between them. I’d stop recording at every break so that I could get more episodes on a tape. It’s not unsurprising to me now that both shows vibed with me as a young person who hadn’t yet really accepted that she was queer; due South’s main character is coded as Other both to the Americans whom he lives with, and his fellow Canadians, while Quantum Leap explores a straight white man jumping into the lives of Others, and living through them some of the hardest moments in their lives. Even though both keep it exceedingly, textually hetero, one has two men riding off into the snowy sunset together (leaving behind a straight lover to do so) and the other features a love between two men that in the original framing of the finale would have seen God/fate reconnecting the two of them even though one was lost in time, and the partner’s wife begging him to go.)

Of course young me didn’t give a shit about that, or didn’t realize that’s what she cared about. Young me loved the buddy-cop partnership of both shows. Young me liked the half-wolf, and the episodes where they ride horses, and honestly just waiting with bated breath to find out where Sam would jump to this time. “Oh boy!” Retrospectively, these shows (especially QL) are a lot more oh boy in a yikes context now than they used to be, but it’s good that shows age into yikes territory because it means that society is steadily advancing. Particularly, pointing out that these shows both feature white straight guys like…welcome to the nineties.

I was introduced to queer coding in part by watching due South. The show is laden with it. With writers, actors, and ultimately an executive producer who was all three, it makes you wonder if they would have gone there if they could; certainly the ending reads that way. They couldn’t, of course, because it was the nineties (and it was CBS that revived it after enormous international fan demand). Still, there was just nothing else analogous to what we have now that was going there on TV at the time. If you were queer (or discovering your queerness) then watching the show meant everything, as it did to me. So I snuggle up on the couch often these days and go back to that, because it gave me such joy, and because I was left with the opportunity to decide for myself how deep the relationship was. There was no promise of anything, because the context at the time was of course you can’t go there, nobody can go there. Queerbaiting was a word that simply hadn’t been breathed. There was no intent, no companies behind the curtain pulling strings going “Yes, make it more gay, we want those queer dollars”, just invested people slipping what they could past the studio censors.

Like this:

Sigh. A less enlightened time. =P (Incidentally fun meta here but this was after a conversation where Ray suggested that communication in a relationship should be intuitive, like breathing.)

So I guess in part I escape back there because none of that representation was ever as loaded as it is today. It doesn’t require me to judge it, or weigh it against the harm it does - because the politics of the time meant I thought it was doing good (retrospectively, and only through the lens of someone who had nothing to lose). It seemed to scream out into an unyielding universe to force it to move. It did a fraction of that, because of course it did. It was the nineties. It stole indigenous narratives and romanticized colonialism just as much as it beat the drum of environmentalism and kicked at the doors of corporate greed and racism. Old shows are inherently problematic. Today’s shows are too. Being able to examine them doesn’t mean not loving them, but it lets you say “Okay, so what do I expect from the things I watch today? What do I expect from the things I watch in five years time?”

All that aside, the show is just damn good. It’s watchable and rewatchable. It struggles to age because it was already so out of pace with the age it was made in–despite its flaws in representation, it was better than other shows at the time that demonized, tokenized, or outright killed minorities to push white narratives on their own shows (Kendra being murdered on Buffy, for example). It’s standalone enough that you can go back and watch any episode you like because overarching story arcs were way less of a staple as they are today.  It’s witty, fast paced, full of action and moral dilemma, do gooding and the consequences of it. Although still severely unbalanced, and very, very white, it did still have indigenous actors playing indigenous characters, and minorities portrayed in stories about them. There’s a dog. There’s classic cars. And it’s all put to the soundtrack of Canadian bands and singers. 

tl;dr ahead for rambling about subtext and being a disaster queer, but please scroll past for more gifs.

Queer me needed this show, in a world where I’d been taught to look and see myself in straight white male protagonists, it felt like A Lot to see all this on screen. It wasn’t, but it was all I got when I was growing up. I envy the good fortune of kids who can see themselves on screen these days while they try and figure themselves out (and hopefully more so in the future) with far less of having to negotiate through the confusion of looking at it through confusing fractals of different lenses and instead just see someone who looks like them showing them that their POV is normal, heroic and wonderful. Those lenses fucked me up big time. Like I’m not even sure right now what flavor of queer I am. I cling to bi like a lifeline of sense in my life, but it is complicated because I overwhelmingly desire the company of women way way more. But also I was was taught to look through the lens of a white dude in order to see myself universally, taught to be both desirous of the female body and humiliated by it, ashamed by sex, taught men were awful, and taught that I was supposed to marry one anyway. I look at my sexuality/romanticism like it’s a meta puzzle that I haven’t figured out yet, wondering how to put it on paper, how to break apart the different influences I experienced as a youngling and as an adult to try and negotiate if I’m misreading my own impulses. How I was brought up, who I’ve known, the relationships I’ve experienced and seen in real life and on TV. I’m 34 and I’m still no more certain. Subtext is both my friend and my enemy. I hate it, and I owe everything to it.

So when I need a rest from giving a shit about any of that noise, I go back to my comfort food. I go right back to subtext, which gave me the tools I needed to desire romance that wasn’t heterosexual, that somehow was more intimate because it relied on longing stares and never stepping foot out of the closet, that was just someone liking another person without any expectation of sex just because they have opposing genitals, and their colleagues hassle them a lot. There’s nothing wrong with the sex, I write a lot of consommation of the feelings that I see bubbling under the surface. I have even grown to appreciate het romance when it’s done in a way that doesn’t reduce the woman to a love interest–I was thrilled when Simon Baker’s Patrick Jane got together with Teresa Lisbon in The Mentalist. Their relationship was filled with subtext too. Subtext isn’t a queer thing, it has a role in all well written romance. Hell, it has a role in terriblebad tropey misogynistic romance, too. And just you know basically all storytelling (and more). 

Queer romance existing only in the subtext, though? It’s heartbreaking explicitly because it feels like a story that isn’t finished, and that’s where subtext reliant shows can hand off the story to be finished by fandom itself. In due South, as I mentioned before, Ray and Fraser jump into a dogsled and ride off over the snowy horizon to “Find the hand of Franklin, reaching for the Beaufort sea”. It’s where I chose my meta name, as I’ve mentioned before, because that ending - that ending - handed us all the subtext so far and said “Here, take it, it’s yours now. Do with it what you like”–and we did. But that was twenty years ago. I loved that ending (I still think it was a very elegant solution) and it was expected and appropriate for a show that in itself is a “Faves Are Problematic” show, but that’s also why I get so passionate about discussing the subtext in Supernatural.

It’s younger than due South. While it may have begun back when Willow from Buffy had her first girlfriend, it is ending now, not at the turn of the century where a dogsled was still good enough to get the point across and none of us had Twitter. My own experiences, my lifelong queer confusion make it so I feel pretty damn bad for people trying to use Supernatural as a medium for their own self-exploration, using characters from SPN as their lenses. A show these days that makes bank on those tropes and doesn’t inform its audience (positively or negatively) is doing so irresponsibly because of the modern context in which the show presently (not historically) sits, and the increasing awareness of the issues surrounding it. Networks, then, are ultimately responsible for that, but they are in a way which is entirely different and far more directly culpable than they were 20 years ago, because people are out there making money out of those intentional subtextual devices. They chose to do it; took a deep breath and backed right up away from Gamble’s problematic queerbashing tropes, chewed it over, then hired gay writers and dived right back in with more grown up, progressive, and less shitty subtext–but still subtext. 

This show that ended 20 years ago was able to cross way more lines with subtext in one episode than Supernatural has done sometimes in an entire season. It did so despite and because of it’s international audience, on a conservative network that would late purchase Paramount, and Star Trek, and ended with a powerfully subtextual ending. Supernatural, of course, is under a far more powerful microscope from the bigots than those oblivious to subtext back in the 90s could have ever produced. due South, like SPN was just “wholesome family entertainment” to a conservative audience that was completely oblivious by all accounts, yet was laden heavily with queer innuendo. It was also blissfully short, and existed in a social media world which consisted of Yahoo groups and not much else. 

In modern context, Supernatural gets a fox in the henhouse treatment from that same audience, and acts accordingly (when it’s not using that same subtext to deliver earnest Fuck You’s to that audience). While I expect Supernatural to bravely - even considering this scrutiny - deliver a dogsled subtextual ending on a good day, there are bad days, too, because the queer subtext has been underlined so loudly that everyone can see it, because it’s “practically text”, because the bottom line is increasingly more concerned with satisfying those bigots (even while they mock them), and because queer fans are “too loud” about what they want. How dare they. /s The pushback caused by being loud about things you care about, the bigots actually seeing subtext in front of their noses, isn’t bad because now they know what we’ve been doing all along, and we won’t be able to get away with it any more; it means they’re becoming more aware of narratives other than their own. Yes, some people will push back, but “when you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression”, and they can shove it right up their asses.

All I ever ask of myself when I interrogate my present day viewing experience, is this: when I sat as a youngster watching due South thinking “This subtextual ending is enough for me”, did I truly believe it was okay to be watching a show about two white guys with a subtextual ending 20 years later? Was that the future I dreamed of and aspired to? Would I be disappointed? The answer is yes, I am disappointed. No matter the whys, the fundamental and societal reasons–I am disappointed. I still love the show probably more than I should, but I am disappointed in the society it sits in - which is increasingly capitulating to far more powerful global financial powers than a couple of red state homophobes - and I’m disappointed in the way we’re treating each other for even caring, and I’m disappointed in myself, too, for being naive and imagining we would be much further down this road now than we are. But we are a capitalistic society, and being both the commodity and the customer should be a surprise to literally nobody at this point. It doesn’t mean you have to like it.

And if you don’t feel that way, that’s okay. We all come from different places. We have different perspectives. We need and want different things, for different reasons, and find joy in different things for different reasons. Variety of opinion is as much a wonderful thing as it is completely terrifying.

I’ve wandered somewhat off topic, so I’m going to go back to the show I love, my chocolate pudding and custard comfort food TV show, and the long stares and the beautiful uncomplicated subtext.

And sign off with half a dozen gifs.

Eye fucking:

Conversations in closets and bathrooms:

Going down with the ship

Intuitively understanding each other without a word spoken

His hobbies humiliate me in public

“Do you find me attractive?”

Sulking in the corridor while you reunite with your ex

This whole ep with original Ray:

And his wolf approving of both

Not pictured “I love you” “And I you”, “Get out of the closet”, actual hand holding when it’s unnecessary, formally handcuffing your buddy, getting stuck in an ice crevasse and a mini submarine together–and so so much more. I invite you to watch the show if you can find it (I have it on a really nice set of DVDs, but there’s some dodgy ones out there that look like they recorded the DVD straight off a VHS, so do check reviews) or else try and find it online. There was a Canada promoting YouTube channel which published both due South and shows like Slings and Arrows, which I recommend as well (It’s not actually bury your gays if the ghost of your gay best friend haunts you, right?) so you should be able to poke around and find a legit copy somewhere. I’ve bigged it up and talked it down, and wandered a long way off topic (that describes my relationship with every show, but especially when I recommend them) but I hope somewhere along the line I also answered the question. The way I hear it Leverage is a similar sort of comfort food, though I haven’t seen it. Sounds like I should put it on my To Watch list.

[fortunatelylori]

Hi! I apologise in advance if this question comes off as antagonistic, because I'm worried that it will, but please know that I'm genuinely curious. I've been reading some comments by you and @nothinghappensinalstonville and noticed you're both very critical of Sansa during her arguments with Jon, and seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong. (part 1 of 2)

My question is, can you elaborate on why – if you believe she undermines him and her advice to him is always wrong – you think she’s a good match for him, why you think they’d be a good team, why she’d be a good queen to his king? I’m sorry, my question sounds petulant even to my own ears, but I don’t mean it that way, I promise! I truly would like to hear your thoughts on why she’s good for Jon when you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions. (part 2 of 2)

Dear nonnie,

…..

I’m trying very hard to contain my frustration right now because you seem like a very nice person. However, I spend a lot of time and energy writing my posts and comments. I try, to the best of my abilities, to be fair and as objective as I possibly can and explain my point of view in detail. That takes quite a bit of thought and effort on my part so to know that, in your case at least, all of that was an utter and complete waste of time is a deeply disheartening feeling. 

To make it clear, I have no issues with people disagreeing with me or having different interpretations. Nor do I have issues with people sending me asks where they challenge my views. What I do take issue with is when my opinions are misrepresented or I’m accused of saying things I didn’t say. 

If you’re genuinely curious to find out my opinion, you could have checked out my blog before sending me this ask. I have a meta page all set up for anyone to go through and see what my opinions are. 

There is a tendency in the GOT fandom to believe that stanning a character should mean that you believe that character is above reproach, is never wrong and anyone who might disagree is not a “true fan”. By and large, the Jonsa fandom is more open to debate on the nature of characters than other groups but even in our little corner, there is a tendency to try to protect the character of Sansa from any and all criticism, mostly in relation to Jon. 

I understand the impulse to a degree. Sansa has been my favorite female character since season 1. I’ve gone on the bat defending her time and time again and I understand people being protective of her because Sansa is very much a maligned character in the rest of the fandom.

However, the way I stan characters doesn’t conform to this approach. To give you a clear example, my favorite literary character of all times is Scarlett O’Hara. That’s not because I believe she is perfect and beyond reproach but rather because of the complexities of her character that include both positive and negative traits. My liking of Sansa Stark is the same.I like characters, flaws and all and I have no problem discussing those flaws and I don’t think I should stop doing it just because fans in general are unfairly criticizing Sansa. That is not a valid argument to me. I would find it completely disingenuous and hypocritical on my part if I spent my time criticizing every other character, which I do, but stopped myself from doing it with Sansa because my opinion does not conform to the general consensus of the Jonsa/Sansa fandom or because she’s already unfairly criticized in other places. 

So, let’s get this over with: 

seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong

you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions.

I never said that. In this post I said the following: 

My problem with the way this whole thing is presented in the fandom is that it’s taken as a very black and white issue and people feel compelled to either defend Jon or defend Sansa.

The discourse is either:

“OMG! Look! Sansa is undermining Jon! Dark Sansa is coming, people! Alert the presses! This episode … this season … in 2035. It’s coming!“

Or

“Sansa is right. Jon is stupid. He makes decisions with his heart, instead of his head.“

Except that things are never as simple as that and it’s this type of decision that could cost you in the larger scheme of the game of thrones. Deciding whether to pardon the child of a bannerman that betrayed you could go many different ways.

And also: 

So to say that Sansa was right in this situation and Jon was wrong is oversimplifying things. It’s those kinds of decisions that a medieval king/lord is always struggling with and there is no 100% guarantee that you will make the right choice. Jon and Sansa are very young and they have a huge responsibility on their shoulders. There’s a lot you need to learn in order to be a successful ruler, and that goes for Sansa as well as Jon.

In my addendum to that post, I also said: 

I have also talked in the past, on several occasions, about Jon being a poor communicator, acting like a lone operator and blindsiding Sansa with his decisions despite them needing to act like a united front.

In a post I wrote just yesterday, I said this: 

Since season 6, Sansa has been frustrated that Jon doesn’t listen to her:

1. When she argued that he shouldn’t take Winterfell until they had enough men.

2. Before the battle of the bastards, when she warned him about Ramsay and felt that he wasn’t taking her opinion into account

3. In season 7, when she argued against his decision regarding Alys and Ned.

4. In season 7, when she felt he was paying too much attention to the NK and not enough attention to Cersei.

5. Still in season 7, when she told him not to go to Dragonstone and he blindsided her by announcing to everyone that he was, in fact, going.

So this: “this is the way he is, the way he’s always been. he never listens to me” business is a standing issue between them since the start of their relationship in season 6.

I didn’t find it strange that she would say that. She was angry and venting and she’s frustrated with Jon always doing things without talking to her or taking her opinion into account.

if you believe she undermines him 

Except I don’t believe she’s undermining him which is why I wrote an entire meta attacking the “undermining” argument that you can find here. 

In case you don’t want to bother reading all of it, here are a few excerpts: 

Now people have pointed out that, as one of his vassals, Sansa has every right to question him publicly. The problem is that’s not how Jon sees her. He very distinctly separates Sansa from the rest of his court. And since we already had the “we need to trust each other” scene at the end of season 6, I think it’s safe to assume that he sees the two of them as a unit that is supposed to be on the same page so the fact that Sansa speaks out against him in public, instead of privately, feels like a betrayal.

However, if there’s one thing you learn sooner or later, is that there are two sides to every story. That’s why it’s never a good idea to side with one party whenever couples fight.

Because if we look at things from Sansa’s perspective, you can see how she might feel dismissed. The fact of the matter is Jon isn’t the world’s greatest communicator and failed to talk his decision over with Sansa before announcing it to the Council, which in turn makes Sansa feel sidelined, hence her aggressive snark and Joffrey digs.

And that’s because the audience support is very much skewed  in  Jon’s favor. Being on tumblr, sometimes you forget that the Jonsa fam is very much the minority and that exclusive Sansa fans are the unicorns of this fandom (#love4unicorns). The vast majority of this audience will not look at Jon as an unreliable narrator, as every character in this show is, but as the ultimate authority on how this scene should be viewed.

If he says he feels undermined, then it must be because he’s being undermined, which by extension means that Sansa will betray him.

I simply believe that just like Jon, Sansa makes mistakes not only in their conversations but in her approach to certain issues, like the Alys/Ned incident. Jon and Sansa’s arguments, in my opinion, are not clear cut or black and white. There are points to be made on both sides of the debate and pretending like Sansa is completely correct and Jon is wrong is oversimplifying things, as is the reverse. I’ve already talked ad nauseam about the Alys/Ned situation. So here are a 2 other examples: 

Sansa warning Jon that they don’t have enough men  prior to the battle of the bastards: 

She is correct in that they don’t have enough men. That doesn’t change the fact that they’re stuck in the middle of freezing, wintry terrain, a fact that is brought into the plot by Davos who says Stannis lost the war primarily because of the weather, which is in fact correct. In addition to that, by that point they’ve already tried to gather up more men and were denied at almost every turn. It’s not that Jon can’t count, it’s that he doesn’t see any possibility of getting more men and is afraid that he’s going to lose the men he has if he waits. That is a valid argument. 

The reason why Sansa is so resistant is because she knows there’s the possibility of getting more men but dreads having to resort to calling the Knights of the Vale because Littlefinger comes attached to that particular deal. Jon can’t really be blamed for that since he doesn’t know. 

Sansa warning Jon that Ramsay will try to trick him: 

She is correct in her assessment of Ramsay. However her: “Don’t do what he wants you to do” isn’t going to help Jon much, is it? What does that mean? How do you build a strategy around that? She doesn’t know either. Saying that Jon should have listened to Sansa in this instance is … I mean, listen to her about what? He can do absolutely nothing with the info that Sansa provides. 

Her being angry that Jon doesn’t specifically ask for her opinion in a meeting where she is present is also, quite frankly, debatable. Could he have asked? Yes. Could she have just said what she thought instead of taking her frustration out on him in private? Also yes. 

That’s about it … These are the instances where I kind of lean  towards Jon’s point of view more than Sansa’s but also acknowledge the fact that she has reasons to say the things she says, thus making it a more complex situation than one of them being wrong and the other right. 

For those 3 instances, I am now stuck writing another extremely long post trying to defend what are not, as far as I can see, opinions that should garner this amount of controversy. 

But since now I must also atone for those opinions by proving just how much I love Sansa, here is the list of reasons why I believe they’re a good match and she’ll make a good queen to Jon’s king: 

1. She is more politically minded than he is. Their debate on trusting Tyrion is proof enough of that. She also has experience in dealing with an extremely treacherous court in King’s Landing and that will prove very useful in managing their future court. An experience Jon completely lacks. 

2. He has a tendency to be impulsive whereas she is more controlled and strategic. They balance each other out. Jon is a big picture thinker which is fine but that can cause him to miss details that might turn into huge conflicts later on whereas Sansa is much more aware of the subtleties of situations and can identify potential risks. 

3. Jon has a hero complex and a self-sacrificing streak, where he wants to save and protect everyone. Sansa is more willing to accept the possibility that you can’t always do that. But Jon will continue to try to protect people so he needs someone to protect him, sometimes even from himself which is what Sansa can do for him. 

4. In my post regarding the alliances that Sansa and Jon can make, I called Sansa the most eligible match in Westeros. The amount of allies and strategic power she can bring to the table is undeniable and will be among the main reasons why they end up king and queen.

5. They’re both humanists. Despite Sansa’s more calculated temperament (something she learned, btw because naturally she’s not a calculated person),  she would have given a mob of people that attacked her and almost raped her bread if she had had it, she takes charge of calming the spirits of the women during the Battle of the Blackwater and as Jon’s regent, she supervises the food storing and preparations for winter. They both have the same view of what leadership is and the kind of leaders they want to be. They both very much see leadership as a duty and want to do right by the people that they govern.

6. On a personal level, they’re both romantics who dream about a quiet, domestic life. They want to have children and raise a family. So their personal goals and temperaments are aligned. 

7. Jon is insecure, particularly when it comes to how other people view him and since the moment they have been reunited, not only has Sansa understood that but given him the validation he needs to feel secure, content and happy. In turn, Jon can be the brave, gentle and strong man that Ned promised Sansa and that she’s always dreamed about. 

8. They fight a lot, they both make good and bad point along the way but at the end of the day, their fights are constructive and lead to both of them growing and developing as people. They push each other to be better. 

There are probably many more reasons that can be added but this is all I can come up with at this time. 

One more thing I’d like to add before I finish this:

I was under the, perhaps mistaken, impression that people sending me asks or reading my blog were interested in my honest opinion on topics and not just in answers and posts that validate their pre-existing views. If that is the case, I don’t think my blog is for you. I will never shy away from expressing my thoughts on a subject, even when that might be controversial. So if that bothers you, I understand. Please unfollow me, block me or otherwise scroll past me if you feel leaving a comment disagreeing is not enough. I don’t want to make anyone’s fandom experience anything less than a happy one, if I can help it. 

So, in an effort, to keep the Jonsa fandom experience a positive one for myself, I’d like to let everyone know that this will be my final answer on this subject. If you’re ever tempted to send me an ask telling me that I don’t think Sansa is entitled to voice her opinions, that I think Sansa is undermining Jon, that I’m trying to steal her agency in order to prop up Jon or that I think Sansa is always wrong and Jon is always right, please know that I will delete those asks and not answer them. I really don’t like doing that because I love talking to you guys and I really appreciate your interest in my blog and my opinions but at this point, if you still believe all of those things, there’s literally nothing I can say that will change your mind. Thank you for understanding!

Have a nice day, nonnie!

[88frostfromfire]

My February & March budget

I just recently posted a photo of my budget tracker, but last night I made another purchase, so my budget for the month is pretty close to gone now. So, I think it's a good time to discuss what I've spent and how I feel about it.

Originally, my idea was only to include shopping from certain categories (beauty, clothing, accessories, and homewares). However, as I was shopping on my trip to Toronto, I bought a few things that still felt like "shopping" even though they weren't part of these categories, so I included them.

Overall, I am happy with my purchases. Even with the budget and replacement-only rules for makeup/skincare/haircare, I felt like I was still able to have fun and enjoy shopping. The key difference is that I wasn't able to make mindless purchases because I had a limit for how much I could spend. This gave me a good mix of carefully planned purchases, as well as a few spontaneous purchases. I expected traveling to be difficult because I normally shop a lot on trips. I know that I still want to want, so coming home from the trip with a few new things that weren't planned in advance really satisfied that desire, but I know I didn't go over my budget, so I don't feel guilty about it. The main question I have is whether that desire will fade over time. Honestly, I don't know if I want to stop shopping entirely. I just want to be more mindful about it and be happier with what I already have.

This contains all shopping between February and now (today is March 23). My trip to Toronto was March 14-18, so I decided to mark all the purchases made during that trip with *

Sephora: I originally wanted to go on a "no buy" and save my entire Feburary and March budget for the trip to Toronto I took in mid-March. However, I am glad I bought this colour corrector locally instead of waiting to buy it. It works well and gives me more confidence that some of the redness in my face is minimized.

*David's Tea: Even though this latte mix technically falls under "food" and not the categories I laid out to include in my budget originally, I bought it because I wanted to buy something. It was something I specifically planned to buy and I'm glad I did. I've already had a couple cups of it and it's really delicious. It's pretty pricey for what it is, though, so I don't think I'd get it again.

*Rohto Lycée eye drops & breath care: I bought these Japanese eye drops from 2 different stores (I decided to buy 2 packs of it) and am happy I did. I did research into them before purchasing and I happened to come across 2 different stores that sell them. I bought 1 pack at the first store, then tried them and by the time I went to the second store, I decided to purchase ... A BACKUP! (I know backups are frowned upon in the spending less/minimizing community). The reason I decided to get a backup is because eyedrops are perishable and for hygienic purposes cannot be kept for too long, and also, because I know I don't have access to these drops at home. I also purchased some Japanese breath mints. While I don't regret buying them, I can pinpoint exactly why I got them. I was in an Asian beauty store, and before going in I'd planned on purchasing only 2 things (the eyedrops and Beauty Blender cleanser). They didn't have the cleanser and I wasn't allowing myself to buy any other beauty/makeup/skincare items that I don't need. So when I found a cute looking bottle of mints, I jumped on it.

*Starbucks mug: My list included a Toronto Starbucks mug (I have a Montreal one and thought it would be neat to collect as a practical souvenir). However, I go to Toronto fairly often so when we went to Niagara Falls and I saw a mug there, I decided to get it instead and was very happy about that! I paid with my Starbucks card, so it didn't cost me anything (most of the money on my Starbucks card was from gift cards at Christmas).

*Lush: This was a carefully planned purchase, as I only allowed myself to buy bubble bars (I got 2), a facial scrub (I got the smaller of the 2 sizes available), and a solid shampoo bar.

*Muji: Even though my purchase at Muji was just 2 highlighters for school, I decided to include them in my budget because I didn't actually need highlighters. They will be useful, but I bought them mainly because I wanted to buy something from Muji for myself (I also got a gift), and they didn't have the other 2 things I was looking for.

*Nordstrom: These were both somewhat impulse buys. I love checking out Nordstrom's Pop-Ins, which is a little "pop-up" shop inside their store, and it changes every couple months. I checked it out one day, and then at the hotel that night, I read reviews of the 2 items I'd been interested in. Again, similar to what happened at the Asian beauty store when I got the mints, almost everything else at the Nordstrom Pop-In were items I can't buy right now (like skincare, haircare, and makeup), so I bought a brow serum and a lip plumper, 2 items that I don't have. I honestly don't regret buying either one. I had read reviews before buying and I also made sure they fit into my budget. But it also felt a little like finding a loophole in my own rules.

Pusheen box: During my trip, I got an email that the charge for my quarterly subscription box went through. Because it also is a form of shopping, I included it in my budget.

Sephora: During the trip, it was a bit too early to pick up my free birthday gift at Sephora, so I placed an order last night for it. I also got the Glow Recipe Watermelon face mist. I don't want to call this an impulse buy, because I waited a while to buy it, but I wanted it the instant this product launched. I also am very low on the existing face mist I have, so I'm going to use that one up first.

[lunaofthevalley]

Steadfast Tin Soldier |||

Bucky Barnes x Reader

The third and finally part is finally here. Thank you to everyone who has taken their time to read this little mini series. It was an idea I came up with on a whim and I wasn't sure I even wanted to post it but I'm glad I did. So without further a do, enjoy 🦄

Note: if you want to be added to my permanent tag list comment down below, and if you want to request something don't be afraid to send an inbox. And if you're a Peter Parker fan keep your eyes peeled for my upcoming Peter story based slightly of the little mermaid.

It had been about a week since the party and things were drastically different. No one has seen or heard from Bucky ever since he walked out of the party and while Y/N hated to admit it, she was overcome with worry about what had happened to him. It wasn't the first time he had done something of the sort. After something happened that he found incredibly stressful he'd disappear for a couple of days and when he came back it was as if nothing had ever happened. But this time he'd been gone for longer than usual.

Y/N was currently sat in her room, in front of her vanity playing with her hair. She stared at herself in the mirror and she as been doing so frequently for the past week. Bucky had called her beautiful shortly before abandoning her, but if she was being honest, she hadn't felt that way ever since the party. She knew her beauty had nothing to do with Bucky leaving her there, but that's how she felt for some reason. Like she wasn't good enough.

She was taken aback when she heard a knock on her door. No one ever came down to her quarters, except Natasha and Wanda, who at that point just walked right into the room with out knocking. Y/N stood up and walked to the door. She expected many things to be on the other side but not what was actually there.

In front of her was a bruised and bloodied Bucky who looked as if he could fall dead in a matter of seconds. His clothing was ripped and his long locks were tangled and greasy. His usually shiny metal arm had dirt between its ridges and it looked opaque. His eyes which were usually a bright blue looked grey and sad. He opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

"Go to the bathroom and get undressed." She ordered.

Bucky was taken aback, "Excuse me?"

"Go to the bathroom and get undressed." Y/N repeated, "I suppose you're here to talk, well we'll talk when you no longer look like walking death."

"Y/N...I-"

"Into the shower now Barnes!"

Bucky gave her one last look before walking past her and into the bathroom. Y/N waited until she heard the door close before releasing the breath she had been holding. She quickly composed herself before darting out of her room and towards Bucky's. She wanted to get him a clean change of clothes so that he wouldn't have to wear those ripped, dirty ones after he left the shower. She also passed by the lab and grabbed one of the first aid kits and a couple of more things she considered she would need for patching up Bucky.

She returned to her room moments before Bucky left the shower. He stepped out only covered in a towel from the waist down. Y/N was sure she would lose her composure right there and then. His toned chest was glistening with the small water droplets that fell from his damp hair, gliding down it, outlining his abs more than ever. His metal arm looked shiny again, and while he was now free of the dried blood, Y/N could make out cuts all over his face, arms, chest and stomach.

She gestured with her head to the change of clothes she had left on her bed. He didn't say anything as he grabbed them and went back into the bathroom to change. After a couple of minutes he emerged again.

Y/N was sat on the bed, her chin resting on her hand, which rested on her knee. She looked up at Bucky through her eyelashes and gave him a once over all over again. "What the hell happened to you Bucky? You've been missing for a week!"

Bucky looked down in shame, feeling bad for not telling her where he had gone. "Fury had a mission for me. It was supposed to be a quick in and out, but took more time than what we thought. I left the morning after the party. Only Steve and Tony knew where I was."

She pursed her lips and slowly nodded her head, "Well what kind of mission was it that left you looking like that?"

"It was to stop some rogue HYDRA agents, it was a small group. No more than ten. It was an easy mission Y/N. I look worse than what it actually was. Most of the blood wasn't mine." Bucky explained.

"You're covered in cuts!"

"They're just small scratches Doll."

Y/n stood up from the bed and went over to her desk to retrieve the first aid kit. She then gestured for Bucky to sit down on the bed, which he did without argument. She approached him and set the stuff down beside him before turning to him again. "Take your shirt off."

"What?"

"I said take your shi-"

"I heard what you said, I'm old, not deaf." Bucky remarked, "I just put the shirt on, why do I need to take it off?"

"I need to make sure you have no deep cuts that need stitching."

Bucky let out an earthy chuckle, "I already told you I'm fine Doll."

"It's protocol Barnes."

"Oh so we're on last name basis now, huh?"

"Just take off your damn shirt Bucky!"

"Okay, okay." He then took of his shirt and in that moment its as if all the air left Y/N's body. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him shirtless, she had recently just seen him in only a towel, and it also wasn't the first time she revised him after a mission. But something about this time felt different.

It was happening in her room and not in the lab, and the unspoken matters between them made the atmosphere tense. As Y/N took to cleaning some of Bucky's cuts, he looked up at her. Her face was scrunched up in concentration, her E/C eyes were focused on what she was doing, her lips pursed, which made it look like she was pouting. Some strands of her H/C H/T hair fell on her face, which was slightly highlighted by the suns light coming in through the windows, giving her and the room an aura of gold. A few more minutes of silence passes before Bucky grabbed her hand and spoke up.

"I owe you an apology." He started. Y/N made no sound and only looked at him with wide eyes, "What I did to you is something no man should ever do, and I regretted my decision to do so the moment I walked out the door, but I was too ashamed to go back. Truth is I became overwhelmed with everything. You looking perfect, the ambient, the team and their stupid plan...just everything became too much and I needed to get out of there. I know I should've explained but I couldn't.

"Truth is Doll, I've been head over heels for you since the moment I saw you, and then I met you and got to know you and I just kept falling deeper into a pit I knew I wouldn't be able to escape. You're everything I've wanted in a woman. You were literally the Ballerina to my Tin Soldier.

"But you deserve better than me. I'll never be the Bucky I was 75 years ago, and I'm no longer the Winter soldier. I'm now just the shell of James Buchanan Barnes, trying to figure out how I fit into the world now and coping with what I had to put up with during my time in HYDRA. I have severe PTSD, I have nightmares and crazy impulses...and you Doll, deserve so much better than that, so much better than me. So I'm sorry."

Bucky let go of her hand and looked down in embarrassment. Y/N was shocked, to say the least. Bucky had just poured his heart out to her without hesitating. She could no longer help to be mad at him, how could she after that. She slowly crouched until she was looking slightly up at him. She reached out a hand and placed it on his cheek, his metal hand coming up instantly to gently wrap his fingers around her wrist as she slowly caressed his warm cheek.

"You know, I've been head over heels for you too. Ever since that day we met. Just one look at you and I knew you were different. Not in the bad way, but in the best way possible. I have never once looked at you and thought about you as a broken, tortured man. To me you have always been, and always will be just Bucky. Never the winter soldier, never Captain Americas best friend. Only Bucky.

"And what you're saying about me deserving someone better is bullshit, pardon my French but that's what it is. You do not get to decide who I do and don't deserve in my life, I decide that myself, and I want you in my life. But more importantly Bucky, you deserve this, you deserve me in your life, and I may sound like a hypocrite telling you you deserve me while also telling you, you don't decide who I deserve, but it's the truth. You deserve someone who will be there for you, who will put up with you PTSD, someone who will look at you like the most precious thing there is, and god Bucky I really hope you let me be that someone for you."

It was now Bucky who was shocked. He saw some tears trickle down Y/N's face and he felt the same on his. Both of the were overcome with emotion, everything that had been pent up for a week and from months before was now coming to light. Bucky knew he didn't have the words to reply, and even if he did he didn't know how to say them. So instead of replying verbally he thought he'd show her what he felt physically.

He leaned down and grabbed her by her waist as if she weighed nothing and brought her to his lap, pulled her as close as possible and then slowly but passionately connected their lips. She didn't protest at all. Her hand with which she had been caressing his cheek remained there while her other found itself wrapped around his broad shoulders. Their kiss started of slow, allowing them to set a pace and get used to the feel of each other's lips, but as time passed the kiss got deeper, faster, needier, and they never separated until the need of air became greater than the need of each other's lips.

Their foreheads rested on one another's, Bucky brought up a hand to caress her neck while both her hands played with the soft curls at the back of his head. They stared into each other's eyes while regaining their breath and composure.

"I love you," Bucky spoke up breaking the looming silence, "I know it might be too soon to say it, but it's how I feel."

Y/n leaned in and gave him a small, slow peck. She moved back but just a small amount so that her lips would ghost over his when she talked, "I love you too, so damn much Bucky, you have no idea."

"I think I have a slight clue Doll." He smiled.

Both of them remained embraced for a little while after that, finally knowing how it felt and not wanting to lose the sensation it gave them both. Neither of them had ever before felt as comfortable as they did then.

"Say...you still kind of owe me a dance." Y/N remarked a little later.

Bucky looked down at her, "Is that so?"

Y/N untangled herself from Bucky and stood up, offering him a hand which he gladly took as he stood up as well. Y/N led him to a part of her room that would give them enough space to dance. They positioned themselves almost identically to how they had been the other night, only this time, Y/N rested her head on Bucky's bare chest, right above his steady beating heart.

"Hey Doll...we don't have any music."

"F.R.I.D.A.Y" Y/N spoke up and not a second later an old song from the 40's started playing. Bucky hummed in contempt, recognizing the song and started to sway you both gently from side to side.

"You know....I guess fairytales sometimes do come true." Bucky said.

Y/N looked up at him, "Why do you say that?"

"In the story, the Steadfast Tin Soldier has to leave his ballerina due to...unfortunate circumstances...and after going through a long and hard journey he comes back to her. And well...I came back to you Doll, it might not have been a long and hard journey, more of a week long, average mission but you get the point."

She let out a small giggle which moved him to his core, "I suppose you're right. You know I find it funny how many parallels you seem to have with the story. It's a tad bit comical really."

"Well I guess stories have more influence in our lives than we think. And the Steadfast Tin Soldier isn't that bad a story to have parallels with."

"If you say so," she replied, "just don't get eaten by a fish, don't see how that would work out."

Bucky laughed, "Don't worry, that won't happen."

And so they danced on until day turned to night, they remained in each other's arms until the late hours of the night. Now that they had each other they didn't ever want to let go, never wanting to live without that feeling anymore. The Tin Soldier had been reunited with his ballerina, and there was no evil Jack-In-the-Box trying to separate them.

In the fairytale, the Soldier and the ballerina perish in a fire together, the flames making them melt into a single, perfect Tin heart. But Bucky and Y/N only melted into each other, coming as close to the other as much as they could. Their hearts were sure to become one after that day , neither of them being able to deny their feelings for the other anymore. And it was a beautiful thing.

The story of the Steadfast Tin Soldier and his Ballerina.

...

"Hey Bucky, what was it you said earlier about the teams stupid plan?"

"You don't want to know Doll."

TSTS TAGS: @hadesgirl1015 @holycoldcoffee @pookiepookie8 @fangeekkk @evilzinblr @miss-kraziii @wizards-magic-and-witches @white-wolf-buckaroo

[jeon-jungkxook]

I Choose You | Part 3.5

A/N : Hello, lovelies!! I know I haven't posted in weeks and I feel rlly rlly bad. So I'm working on part four, but I didn't want to keep you all waiting for another week. So here is a part 3.5!!! It's rlly rlly rlllllllllllly short but I promise that I'll make it up to you in the next chapter (hint : there is smut hehe). This is just a chapter about Jimin and Y/N's different povs and feelings about the situation that went on in part 3!! Love you all!! @therecomespringday

____________________________________

"I hate you," I barked at her as I stormed out of her bedroom and headed straight for my house. I escaped the house before I did anything stupid, but not before I heard her whisper "I love you."

I didn't hate (Y/N); I loved her more than I loved myself, but she needed to think about what she was doing. I didn't want her to leave me, go to the States and - perhaps, find someone else. (Y/N) is a beautiful, well-rounded woman. She could easily win any guy's heart without even trying.

Although she decided to leave me for some University, she wasn't the bad one in this relationship we had; I was. I was the one that took home another woman after hearing about her going to Harvard. I was the one that ignored her texts and calls. I was the one that whispered "I love you's" into someone else's ears as I thrust into her, trying to forget the pain that found its way to my broken heart.

I was the beast, not her. She was just trying to get her life together; I was just being impulsive.

I didn't think about what I was doing, not until I saw my girlfriend's best friend walk in on me - his face switching from joyful to stunned in a matter of seconds.

I don't know what happened to Seokjin or (Y/N) after that day, but I do know that neither of them decided to contact me. Even a fucking bird with a letter in its mouth would've been nice. But I guess I was asking too much, because beasts don't deserve that type of stuff.

The next day I went over to (Y/N)'s house, asking her mother where she went. The woman's face dropped and she replied with a quiet, "Didn't you hear? (Y/N) left for the States early this morning."

And at that moment, my whole world went crumbling down on top of me.

____________________________________

"I hate you," he yelped as he sped out of my bedroom.

"I love you," I whispered, a tear taking purchase on the apple of my cheek. That night, I cried myself to sleep - but not before I sent a ton of text messages to Jimin, which he didn't answer to.

What a mess... Did I create all of this? We agreed on trying out the long-distance relationship, but after a few hours of mulling over the idea of him cheating on me, I told him that I didn't want that anymore. I told him "I leave in two weeks, so we have that time to love each other as much as possible."

But instead of him agreeing, he just let me know that he hated me. And I hate me too, because if I had just shut the fuck up, I still would've had the love of my life beside me.

But insecurities always step in the way, I guess...

However, after hearing about Jimin sleeping with another girl, I knew I made the right decision - for the both of us. I wouldn't have to worry about him sleeping around, and he could do whatever and whoever the fuck he wanted.

I was heartbroken, yes. But I was also glad that I chose to live in the States for about six years.

It was either my cheating boyfriend, or my studies - which would benefit me for the rest of my life.

Now, I'm six years older; six years smarter, seated next to a handsome man - around the same age as me, peering at me as if I was the most delicate thing to ever exist.

"I guess he didn't know what he was saying when he said he loved you," Jungkook sighed, stroking my forearm as he stared at me with sadness in his chocolate brown eyes.

"No; he knew what he was saying..." I said. "But then again, the world and the people in it change non-stop. Remember, the whole universe is different from yesterday."

[varjopeura]

For the D&D Ask Meme - 4, 8, 13 and 34! (And I'm SO curious about the backstory-bomb referenced in your tags, so if I can make a bonus question be, 'what happened???' then also that!)

Hoo boy, this one took a while! Also this got super long so under the cut it goes:

4. Your current campaign.

Our current campaign is also my first! We’re playing on Tal'Dorei setting with a mostly homemade storyline (as far as I know? it occurs to me I’ve never really asked). We’re only six sessions in at this point, the party is still just a bunch of nobodies stumbling around figuring out this adventuring stuff and getting to know each other.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

I think my favourite fight so far was the time we got our asses handed to us pretty thoroughly by a bunch of ghosts. It was terrible and delightful and something about properly losing a fight made the whole world just seem so much more real and intense. Like we are just babies when it comes to adventuring, and going ghost-hunting into a crypt that’s widely known to be cursed and deathly dangerous might not be the best idea at that point in time. Especially if your magic users have already pretty much emptied out their spell slots before going in.

But, in we went anyway! We knew to expect ghosts since we had already slain a couple on our way there, and had comprised a Genius Plan to take out the rest of them one at a time. Except the plan didn’t really work, the ghosts didn’t come at us one at a time, and they were a lot stronger than the ones we had previously encountered.

We managed to barely scratch the ghosts (the horrendous things were resistant to everything we had), half of our party was too afraid to do anything useful, and Glimmer had to carry two of her unconscious teammates out of there before we managed to flee. It was a mess, and a very stressful situation, but hey, we survived! And it felt so good to be alive afterwards!

In retrospect, the five or six times our friendly NPC informant told us the ghost are absolutely going to kill us oh-so-very-dead might have been a hint from the DM…

13. Introduce your current party.

Let’s start with the easiest one, my tiefling cleric Glimmer! She is definitely the party mom and sort of their moral compass too, constantly worrying about the safety of the others. She worries about a lot of stuff, actually, and the fact that she knows very little of the world outside of her home temple doesn’t exactly help. Though she does believe in the goodness of people and has a tendency to blindly trust anyone who looks like they know what they’re doing. For such a soft and gentle person she has a surprisingly short temper when something rubs her the wrong way, and she gets all fiery and dramatic when she’s upset.

Then there’s our human fighter Gabriel, a young man of noble origin seeking for his share of honor and glory, mainly in the form of slaying various magnificent beasts and monsters. He is highly charismatic, VERY easy to love, has exactly zero impulse control and, to be quite honest, not a lot of brains to him either. So practically he’s an over-excited golden retriever with a sword and an ability to speak in a fancy way. A good boy.

The elven rogue Varis (fun fact: his name is the finnish word for crow) is a typical thief character, a penniless city boy that’s concerned about his own survival before anything else. And, like, I’m definitely not picking favorites here, but this one’s a GOOD boy that I love. A lot. A fountain of endless curiosity, he’s quaranteed to stick his nose in every single place it doesn’t belong to, and probably steal a little bit of something interesting on his way there. Somehow his personality also works as the glue that keeps the rest of the party together - it’s pretty hard to travel alone on your own path when this one gets all up in your personal space and wants to learn about alllll of your stuff.

The gnome ranger Nuna is pretty amiable for a person who has started several conversations with the phrase “I want to destroy the civilization”. From what I’ve gathered, she seems to be on some sort of personal crusade against all kinds of mechanical constructs and just has a pretty worrisome way of wording it. She does NOT enjoy crowded cities, though finding taverns full of ale seems to alleviate her stress a bit. I’m certain she’s got some daaaaark secrets too, I can’t wait until we find out a bit more about her story.

I’d probably call our elven wizard Volyris the other Sensible Adult in the party, if he wasn’t so horribly useless when it comes to keeping the chaotic ones in control. He just gets way too much joy out of wandering around behind Gabriel and Varis and observing all the dumb shit they manage to do. Clings to his secrets like his life depended on them, even after a couple of rounds of interrogation we have learned next to nothing about him. He just… wants to know more about stuff? For no apparent reason? Because that’s what wizards do?? I’m still not quite sure if he’s to be trusted.

34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

Mostly I try to find some sort of balance between the two?Though tbh in Glimmer’s case, being a light domain cleric and a tiefling is already a combo packed with so much character flavor that I barely have to do anything to add to it :D Every single bit of Glimmer’s spells and abilities is infused with fire and light, and who knows if the flames she so easily channels originate from a divine source or from her infernal bloodline! She certainly doesn’t! (Also, I can’t wait until we reach level 5 and she learns to cast Darkness as a tief ability. Being able to both bring light around her and to take it away as she wishes is going to be such a fun twist to the basic light cleric archetype.)

—

And, for the bonus question, I miiiiight have exaggerated a little bit? Specifically on the “your entire past is a lie” part. Only a small part of her past turned out to be a lie, so that makes it completely fine, right? :DSo, basically, what I knew about Glim’s backstory was that she was abandoned to a temple’s doorstep as an infant, and that it was unclear who had left her there and why. Not knowing what else to do, the temple clerics took the child in and raised her as their own. (well that’s the relevant part, let’s leave the backstory at that because this post is already way too long)

But! In the last session the party went back to her home temple, met the old priestess who was the closest thing to a mother Glimmer ever had, and had a conversation with her. And it turns out she actually knows about Glimmer’s birth mom! She was just made to promise that she’d never reveal Glimmer’s origin to anyone, and up until this point she had kept the secret to herself. We were given a name (one that Glimmer recognized instantly; she used to be the high priestess of Glim’s home temple before she was born, and now apparently her mother too? Years ago, she had abruptly left her position as the high priestess, never coming back, and there was some sort of a scandal surrounding the event, but Glim couldn’t remember any details about it.)

So instead of a mystery, Glimmer’s origin is a well-kept secret, and according to her adoptive mother the person who knows the most about this secret lives right next door to them. As it was getting kind of late at night and barging into someone’s home asking questions about missing people in the middle of the night didn’t seem like the most polite thing to do, Glim decided to leave further questions to the next morning.

And did we reach the next morning during this session? Of course we didn’t! So now I’m full of questions and theories and have to sit on them for a few weeks because of our horrible Human Adult Schedules not lining up before the end of the month. (And while Glimmer was learning about her hidden past, our rogue was preparing to go on a heist. Alone. Without even telling about his plans to the rest of the party. And his target? The captain of the fucking town guard. Like dammit Varis, if I have to spend the next session busting you out of jail instead of trying to find my long lost mother I’m gonna kick your ass So Hard.)

((And like of course I should have expected something like this coming up with Glimmer’s backstory, ‘mysterious missing parents’ is like free plot food for the DM. Glim was just so busy worrying about literally everything else that it never even crossed my mind that we might hit some pieces of her backstory in her home town :D ))