#I'm just. wow. what a fucking security risk

[beigetiger]

Reading AHFOH. Who let this man be a warden

[goodnightmemes]

DEXTER SEASON FOUR SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ There's this cliche where serial killers are always described as, "quiet, kept to himself, kind of a loner." It's a cliche for a reason.❜

❛ How much are we living the dream? ❜

❛ I need a good kill. ❜

❛ The coroner can suck my uncircumcised dick If he doesn't rule this a homicide. ❜

❛ You know, when things are going good, I think that's god's way of saying to cover your ass, because something's gonna jump up and bite it, hard. ❜

❛ Who knew life could get so... unsimple? ❜

❛ Fuck off and die. Then die again. ❜

❛ Blood tells. Blood always tells. ❜

❛ Not really anybody else I can tell about that, you know? ❜

❛ I've already lost my innocence. I'm not going to sacrifice yours too. ❜

❛ Life has a natural forward momentum. Certain things are inevitable. ❜

❛ My keen forensic sense of smell tells me you're wearing new perfume. ❜

❛ If you smell me again, I'll punch you in the throat. ❜

❛ You've got a family to support and people to dismember. You're spinning too many plates. ❜

❛ Dude, there's no "me" in "team.". Well, technically there is, but… ❜

❛ We could grab dinner, review the case, maybe catch a bad guy. ❜

❛ I was off my game. Sloppy. ❜

❛ For the first time in so long, I'm actually...happy. ❜

❛ So if you've come back here to rekindle something between us, it's not gonna happen. ❜

❛ Dude, seriously, 86 the caffeine. You're freaking me out. ❜

❛ The danger of community is that the people who don't belong are looked upon with suspicion. Those of us who prefer to work by ourselves, The lone wolves, risk being singled out. ❜

❛ This blending in thing isn't as easy as it looks. ❜

❛ How come you never make the coffee, even if you're up first? ❜

❛ Climb in the back. You'll be right on the subwoofer. You can feel the bass in your spine. ❜

❛ Great, security lights. Just what every serial killer needs. ❜

❛ I hope you're not taking any of this seriously. ❜

❛ I'd know that foul mouth anywhere. ❜

❛ Wow. That's impressive. In a very evil way. ❜

❛ People like us don't really belong anywhere. We just pass through. ❜

❛ When you're angry, you're very sexy, so this could be sort of a win-win for me. ❜

❛ You're exactly the same as me, just in a much prettier package. ❜

❛ Monsters come in all shapes and sizes. Sometimes it's the very people who are supposed to be protecting us:. ❜

❛ Don't make me come up with thought bubbles to put over those silent looks of yours. Just say what you're thinking. ❜

❛ I thought I could keep my feelings for you as background noise to this investigation. But, in working with you, that noise has gotten...loud. ❜

❛ You're the one who wanted a challenge. And now you've batted the beehive. ❜

❛ I never leave anything to chance. ❜

❛ What, are you gonna murder me too? Like you murdered your family? ❜

❛ You're sick. I know what you did. I have proof. ❜

❛ Go ahead. Tell them. No one is going to believe you over me. ❜

❛ You can't hide what you are. ❜

❛ You're going to have to choose. You will choose your life over theirs. ❜

❛ I'd rather risk them knowing the truth...than lose them. ❜

❛ Don't go disappearing on me again. ❜

❛ Every crime scene is a jigsaw puzzle. So many pieces. Assemble them right, a picture forms. ❜

❛ I didn't feel anything. I didn't even know I'd been hit until I was on the ground. ❜

❛ You deserve so much better. ❜

❛ So much work. But I have to finish what I started, right? ❜

❛ You fucked me to thank me? ❜

❛ So when do you suppose it'll be a good time to discuss why you lied to me? ❜

❛ This isn't about choices or even about you. Sometimes bad things just happen. ❜

❛ That's the answer to this? Bad things happen? ❜

❛ I know this doesn't change what happened, but hopefully you'll find some peace of mind knowing this thing's over. ❜

❛ What the fuck's your problem? You have everything, and you're doing your goddamn best to throw it all away. ❜

❛ I'm the fuck-up in the family. Not you. ❜

❛ It doesn't matter what I do. Or what I choose. I'm what's wrong. ❜

❛ If I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting everyone around me. There's nothing I can do about it. I'm... I'm broken. ❜

❛ The most disturbing thing about your lying is that... I'm beginning to see just how good you really are at it. ❜

❛ I'm perfectly comfortable with bodily fluids: blood, snot, tears. But the emotions that go along with them, not so much. ❜

❛ I don't want to keep making the same mistakes. ❜

❛ I need a partner. Someone I can trust. Unless you can be completely honest with me...I don't want to do this anymore. ❜

❛ She's picturing her life without me, and I can't picture mine without her. ❜

❛ He can only be honest with the dead. ❜

❛ People just do this? Say what they're thinking? Out loud? ❜

❛ How are we supposed to decide what's more important? Our jobs or each other? ❜

❛ I had to evolve. It was the only way to survive. ❜

❛ As much as we might like some things to remain suspended in time, they never do. ❜

❛ The last thing I need is a reporter snooping around my house, my family, me. ❜

❛ Take a bullet and suddenly you're everybody's best friend. ❜

❛ Fat Jesus on a bike, get me out of here. ❜

❛ Sorry I'm late. Actually, that's bullshit. I'm not late. I was hiding at the end of the hall. ❜

❛ You taught me a lot of things I learned were wrong. ❜

❛ Isn't that what life is? A risk? ❜

❛ Okay, two serial killers go for a ride...Why do I get the feeling this joke ends with only one of them coming back? ❜

❛ It's every father's nightmare...disappointing his children. ❜

❛ Life is hard, and it's brutal and ugly, and way too fucking short. ❜

❛ The slightest lapse of judgment can be a mistake you might never recover from. ❜

❛ I killed an innocent man. ❜

❛ No, no "should'ves." I don't do "should'ves." That's not me. ❜

❛ I really do need to stab something. ❜

❛ Maybe you could show some of that same bravery by sharing what's bothering you. ❜

❛ There are few things harder to bear than remorse. ❜

❛ Guilt. Remorse. It's what separates us from the animals. ❜

❛ The best deed I can do is rid the world of you. ❜

❛ How about a little support? You know, like a hug?  Or an "everything's gonna be all right"? ❜

❛ We all need to confess our mistakes, so we can go into the light unburdened. ❜

❛ Jesus, they're just tits. ❜

❛ No more confessions, no more good deeds, and no more fucking remorse. ❜

❛ This isn't how you die. ❜

❛ Maybe only monsters feel no regret. If erring is human, then remorse must be too. ❜

❛ You should have just let him die. ❜

❛ Wow. You can make anything sound perverted. ❜

❛ I don't have to be on my own. I could be with you. ❜

❛ If you're nice to me, I can be nice to you. ❜

❛ You never know when you wake up in the morning what the day will bring. ❜

❛ Your life is a lie! These are lies! ❜

❛ I know who you really are. You're a killer. Sucking the fucking life out of all of us! ❜

❛ I should have fucking killed you when I had the chance. ❜

❛ There is a great big shit-ugly world out there. The bad stuff doesn't just end at your doorstep. ❜

❛ You can help put an end to all of it. The sins of your father. ❜

❛ You always did have a soft spot for kids.  They remind you of what you lost. Innocence. ❜

❛ I think I'm in trouble. ❜

❛ You put yourself at risk...for me. ❜

❛ I'm not gonna let anything happen to you, I promise you. ❜

❛ Walk away. This doesn't concern you. ❜

❛ I promise you, no one's ever gonna hurt you again. Especially me. ❜

❛ Who are any of us, really? We all have our public life, our private life… ❜

❛ We can play who's a bigger asshole, but I guarantee you, I'll win. ❜

❛ I don't want to talk about your daddy issues, okay? ❜

❛ One day, I grew up, and I realized my father wasn't the end-all, and it didn't matter what he thought of me, because I realized I didn't think that much of him anymore either. ❜

❛ You think just because you shared, I'm gonna open up? You watch too much tv. ❜

❛ What this tells me is you've been lying to me from the very beginning. ❜

❛ I can only marvel at the level of cynicism. ❜

❛ You're putting us both at risk. It isn't safe for us to talk. ❜

❛ I would never do anything to put you in danger. ❜

❛ You did this to yourself. You're on your own. ❜

❛ Could really use some family right about now, and you're it. ❜

❛ I knew finding his killer wouldn't bring him back, but...I thought it would bring something. ❜

❛ I want you to disappear from my life. Like a ghost. A really annoying ghost. ❜

❛ I couldn't care less about your life. Or death. Unless you get in my way. ❜

❛ If I were you, I'd give up vigilante-ism. You're not very good at it. ❜

❛ You do not want to question my loyalty to my family.  ❜

❛ I have to be the one to kill him. I have to know he's gone. ❜

❛ How is it I can kill people and feel no regret...but disappointing [name] makes me feel like the scum of the earth? ❜

❛ Sometimes I'm... just going along, and everything seems okay, and then this...darkness creeps in, and it takes over. ❜

❛ Don't ever question me! I gave you everything you have. I will take it all away! ❜

❛ You have your demons. I accept that. Because I know that you don't have to be a slave to them. ❜

❛ I know you, better than you know yourself. You can conquer whatever darkness there is in you. I know you can. ❜

❛ We create our own destiny every day we live. ❜

❛ If you hadn't been in my life, I wouldn't be who I am. You've given me confidence and support. And you've been the one constantly good thing in my life. ❜

❛ I can't believe there was a time when I actually thought I could learn something from you. ❜

❛ You can't control the demon inside of you any more than I can control mine. ❜

❛ You're like a child. You dream of a heaven you'll never see. ❜

❛ I accept...nothing. Nothing is inevitable. ❜

❛ It's already over. ❜

❛ Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be...lived. ❜

❛ Born in blood. Both of us. ❜

❛ I thought I could change what I am, keep my family safe. But it doesn't matter what I do, what I choose. I'm what's wrong. This is fate. ❜

[miraclewoozi]

VERSACE ON THE FLOOR. -l.jh

ooh, i love that dress but you won’t need it anymore –

Or, the time you and your homebody boyfriend* decide to just… not go to your dinner plans.

pairing; lee jihoon x fem reader. content; fluff, suggestive (MINORS DNI). established relationship. warnings; relatively warning free (y'all i didn't even swear???) but just in case -- a couple of dorky jokes, reader wears a dress, makeup and heels, making out, undressing. let me know if i've forgotten anything. w/c; 2.4k (apparently i am in my shorter fic era? party.) note; if there's one thing i'm gonna do, no matter what day of the week it is, it's be disgustingly delusional about jihoon. get ur dentists on speedial, it's a tooth rotter (/j). note 2.0; i've had this one in the drafts for so long i had forgotten all about it! but then VOTF came on shuffle a few days ago (and i started thinking about light a flame woozi at the same time, which nearly fucking killed me), so. here we are. enjoy.<3

You don’t go out for dates very often. Not anymore, at least.

When you and Jihoon first got together, he took you out all the time. For dinners, to cocktail bars, to the movies, for walks down the beach, picnics by the river. It didn’t matter where you went as long as it put a smile on your face — all he ever wanted to do was make you feel special. No expense has ever been too great for his favourite girl, after all; he’s always loved to spoil you.

Now several years into your relationship, you’re a real pair of homebodies. Sure, he could take you out for a four course dinner at an expensive restaurant in the middle of the city, or reserve a table at a pretentious cocktail bar that plays slightly too loud music that’s always just to the left of either of your tastes. Then again… He could cook a nice meal for you to have at the apartment you share, where you can make your way through a bottle of bubbles without one of you needing to stay sober to drive home or else risk your lives in a sketchy cab. 

It’s something you’ve talked about several times, and on every occasion, it’s quite apparent that you’re both very happy with the way things are. If anything, it makes it all the more special when he tells you he needs you to keep your weekend free because he’s making plans, and he wants to whisk you away.

Like now, for instance. The hotel suite he’s booked is gorgeous and you’re perched on the edge of the plush bedding, bent over double so that you can properly fasten your shoes while he finishes getting ready in the bathroom. Now and again, you hear a grumble or a click of his tongue float through the ajar door; every time, you feel a smile play at your lips as you shake your head. He never changes. (You’re so glad.)

“Jihoon,” you call to him softly. You can practically see how he’ll be standing – facing the mirror, on his tiptoes to lean over the bathroom counter and get as close to his own reflection as he possibly can. Pouting as his fingers drag through his hair to try and fix the strands in place just a tiny bit better. “Don’t you dare come out here looking like Sonic the Hedgehog. You know the more you play with it, the more annoyed you’re going to get.”

A few seconds later, he emerges, an eyebrow raised in challenge, an amused grin tugging his lips out of their habitual frown. 

(And lo and behold — his hair looks absolutely fine.)

But the second he sees you, whatever witty comeback he was obviously very proud of dies on his lips, and you straighten up with only one of your shoes secured to your foot, the other just slipped on over your toes.

“Wow,” he says, in that soft, deep, quiet way that he does when you’ve really taken his breath away. You watch his Adam’s apple bob in his throat as he swallows; you see his brow crinkle and his eyes widen, as if he’s trying to see as much of you as he possibly can. “Is that…?”

“Yeah,” you nod proudly, sitting back and smoothing your hands over the dress you’re wearing. “From our first anniversary.”

As his eyes move over you, taking in everything from the way the straps sit on your shoulders to the way the hem lays across your thigh, your own eyes move over him. The top three buttons of his shirt are still unfastened and his tie hangs either side, tucked beneath his collar but not knotted yet. His slacks have been cleanly pressed, a neat, crisp seam running down the front of both legs. Shoes shined to perfection. Expensive watch strapped around his wrist. 

He might just be the most handsome man in the entire world.

“I remember you saying you really liked it, so… I dug it out, special.” 

“You look incredible,” he says. It’s so gentle, so sincere, that you think your heart is about to burst clean out of your chest. Warmth trickles the length of your spine, and it isn’t exactly helped when you realise – only now as he starts to cross the room to get closer to you – that he hadn’t moved an inch since he surfaced from the bathroom almost a full ninety seconds ago.

He shrinks down so he’s rested on both of his knees in front of you, skilful hands moving to help with the shoe you hadn’t managed to lace up yet. every time his fingertips so much as brush against your skin, the electricity in his gentle touches shoots all the way from the point of contact up to your brain and leaves it fogged, impossible to make any sense through the thick clouds of intimacy and adoration. More-so as he smoothly lifts your leg a little and presses his lips once to the inside of your ankle, even foggier still as he trails kisses up the length of your calf towards your knee. 

“Jihoon,” you laugh breathlessly, laying a hand on his shoulder as you feel his tongue press lightly against your skin. He finally sits back on his heels, running his fingers up and down the backs of your legs; he’s successfully managed to hike your dress up a few inches now, too, and he keeps flitting his gaze between your face and your thighs. “We can’t – we’ll be late.”

“We have ages,” he frowns, shuffling closer and trying to bump your knees apart, but you keep your muscles engaged and he doesn’t pull at them that hard, so they don’t budge.

“We have to get there, too,” you remind him. He throws his head back and sighs dramatically. The neckline of his dress shirt seems to open a little more when he looks back at you, drawing your attention down the length of his neck to his bulging chest, and the muscular forearms that he crosses in front of it.

“And this is why we don’t go out.”

“What, because you’re horny all the damn time?” You tease. 

He gently swats at the top of your thigh before soothing it with another small kiss. 

“Because when you look this good, how am I supposed to want to go and eat a steak instead?” 

He grins up at you from the floor, quite clearly delighted with himself for his little gag. You, however, flop back onto the mattress and cover your face with your hands.

“That was so bad,” you chuckle. You’ve been trying for years to not melt to his very specific sense of humour, but it’s all been completely futile. Your reluctant laughs turn to sweet, breathy giggles by the time he lays both his arms across your legs and rests his chin on top of them. You prop yourself up on one elbow to look at him; he’s staring up at your face like he thinks he’ll never see anything as beautiful as you for the rest of his life. 

“Maybe… We don’t have to go out for dinner,” he suggests. “Maybe we can stay in tonight, too.”

“Horndog.” You tsk. But you’re not disappointed at the idea of staying in, either, regardless of whether your teasing implies otherwise. “I knew you’d say that.”

“No — really,” he swallows. You aren’t sure if you can feel his heart beating a little faster where his chest is pressed completely against your shins, or if you’re just imagining it. But the tips of his ears are going pink too, so you think it’s safe to trust your intuition on this one. “I mean-… we don’t have to go. I could-…”

He bites the inside of his cheek before he looks down, pressing his forehead against his arms and hiding his face completely.

“I could do it here.”

He says these words quietly. Mumbles them, really. You aren’t sure if you were meant to hear, or if he was just talking to himself. But either way, it has to be worth a shot to find out.

“What do you mean, Ji?”

One, two, three seconds pass. And… Nothing. 

“Hey.”

You bounce your thighs a little so he’s forced to look up at you, and you can see something swimming in his eyes. Something brewing. He sits back from you and pushes a hand through his hair; a few strands lose their stick to the rest of the main body and tumble down over his forehead. Exactly in the way he was trying to prevent. 

“I could just do it here.”

He says this louder. Clearer. With much more finality. You sit up properly, then, both your hands clasped together in your lap. 

“Do what here, baby?”

His eyes find yours and you sit there for a few moments, unwrapping each other's minds with nothing more than a look and a matching pair of gentle — but slightly concerned — smiles. 

He moves one hand down and slips it into the back left pocket of his slacks. You think you can feel the world around you start to slow. 

When he shifts a leg from beneath him so he’s on one knee before you and presents you with a glittering diamond ring, it stops altogether. 

“Jihoon,” you breathe. 

He glances between the ring and you, biting his bottom lip before he speaks. 

“I had it-… I had everything planned.” He laughs, looking away from your face as even more rising heat becomes evident on his own. “Down to the second, even. But just like you always do — just like the first time I saw you, and just like every time since… You threw me a curve ball and… Somehow, you’ve changed everything. But you made it so much better. 

“I think I was supposed to find you, y/n,” Jihoon says. “I don't know what’s up there, what’s in charge of when we meet the people we meet and why we fall in love with the people we fall in love with. but I know that they were really looking out for me the day you came into my life.” 

You can feel your eyes starting to sting at the corners and you will the tears away, desperate not to smudge the makeup you spent so long trying to perfect. You know he’d love you either way — mascara tear tracks and splotchy concealer and all — but… 

“I am so in love with you that sometimes, it really hurts. It hurts because I know that no one’s ever going to come close — about anyone in the world — to feeling the way I feel about you. I feel bad for everyone, a bit. Because you’re not-… you're not with them. You’re with me. But I wouldn’t want any of them to be with you, because-... and… and if you’ll have me, I want you to be with me forever.”

You don't know when you started slowly nodding along to his little monologue, but you definitely are. You’re not sure when you started holding your breath either, but that’s two for two. He looks up at you, expectantly, fluttering his eyelashes and stuttering out a long, deep breath. 

“Y/n, will you marry me?”

Some decisions, you’ve always thought, are made for you at a cosmic level. Your favourite colours. Your favourite foods. Hot and cold weather people. Loving or hating marmite. A predisposition to enjoying scary movies or being the kind of person who hides behind a pillow. 

This is another one of those. You don’t have to think twice about it — you just know. You know because a great unstoppable force managed to squeeze you together at the perfect moment in time; the ever-expanding universe around you has kept you and Jihoon side by side through everything it could possibly throw at you. 

“Yes.”

Of course you want to spend your forever with him. 

The word leaves your mouth in a whisper and everything flies back into motion. The first black droplet rolls down your cheek. His usually so steady hands fumble with yours to slide the ring over your finger. A perfect fit. You’re hurtling through space and time as he gets up off his knees and cups your cheeks, gently pulling you upright and crashing his lips against yours. You stumble into him slightly in your heels; his kiss is more a chaotic clatter of teeth and giddy laughter than perhaps the intense, romantic gesture he was aiming for, but it’s completely, utterly, unequivocally perfect.

Jihoon’s fancy dress shirt creases under your fingers as you ball it into your fists where the top buttons are spread open, pulling him as close as you can, laughter dying down as he loses himself in you and as you lose yourself in him, right back. He swallows all of your gasps and sighs, hands sliding down from your face to the sides of your neck, until he’s resting a palm on each of your shoulders. A single finger slips beneath one of the straps and he pulls it out of the way, down onto your arm, withdrawing from your mouth so that he can press a series of kisses down your cheek and to your jaw instead.

“Ji,” you murmur, tipping your head back and fumbling at the buttons running the length of his torso, trying and failing to get them open. He chuckles, his other hand coming to rest over yours to stop you. You lace your fingers together, feeling him squeeze. Your heart pounds.

“Let's take our time,” he whispers to you, thumb grazing over your collarbone. “Okay?”

All you can do is nod as he kisses lower, and lower, pressing his lips everywhere he can while he’s still standing. Your neck and shoulders feel ablaze, tickling with the heat of the burning stars his mouth paints across your skin. 

“Need-... Ji, you need to-... call… call the restaurant,” you stutter. “Gotta…. we need to cancel…”

The fleeting sting of his teeth against your throat interrupts you and you’re only aware of him reaching behind you to tug the zipper of your dress down when the material falls completely slack..

“In a minute,” he says, helping you walk backwards until your calves collide with the bed behind you once again. He eases you to lie down on the comforter and crawls on top of you, caging you in with both arms, taking hold of your left hand again.

He looks down at the ring on your finger, his entire face breaking into the most brilliant of smiles. Every inch, from the creases at the corners of his eyes to the paling stretch of his beautiful lips. 

“My future wife needs taking care of, first.”

– no you won’t need it no more, let’s just kiss ‘til we’re naked, baby.

hehe thank u sm for reading!! i hope you enjoyed this bc it was a bit special 2 me. likes, reblogs, comments + feedback are all, as always, greatly appreciated.<3

[doctor-dusk]

𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 (𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐫𝐛) | 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐭.

a blurb of part 4 from the omegle series.

warnings: none.

word count: 554

sneaky peeky because i'm not done yet but i want to give you a taste of what's to come. hopefully it will be ready by the weekend :3

[...] you looked at your phone, checking the time. you scheduled it for 8pm, there were exactly 7 minutes left. you were too anxious, at 5pm you were already taking your shower and at 6:40pm you were ready. but you made sure to dress up well for the occasion. you could already expect the shower of compliments he might give you, like “oh, i love your dress. take a little spin for me” or “you smell so good”. something that would be very “alex” to say.

your cell phone vibrated, indicating that a message had arrived. in a rush, you rummaged through your purse, thinking it was a message from him.

“did he arrive?” you let your eyebrows fall when you saw it was a message from your best friend.

“not yet.” you answered, trying to sound optimistic. there is still time, he could arrive at any moment. your stomach was churning with anxiety, you resisted the urge to bite your freshly painted wine nails.

she didn't say anything else and neither did you, closing your hand around your phone and supporting your body weight on your other leg while you placed one hand on your waist.

you looked around once more, taking a few steps ahead, not having a right direction to go. you're bored. distracted. nervous. anxious. like you’re going to explode like a dynamite. you needed to relax your mind a little. 

you took a few steps closer to the parking lot, seeing how empty it was. you could count 8 cars there and 3 motorcycles. better, 4 motorcycles, since one was just arriving through the adjacent entrance. 

your eyes followed that motorcycle until it stopped, parking in the reserved space. it wasn't that dark despite some broken light bulbs in the parking lot, but you could recognize that the model of the bike was a kawasaki. maybe a W800. not that you're an expert, but do you remember that your uncle had a motorcycle just like that. he said he loved the motorcycle more than his own wife. isn't it surprising that they have divorced.

back to what you're seeing, the motorcyclist got off after placing the motorcycle's foot on the ground, securing it so that the motorcycle remained upright and without any risk of falling. the black leather jacket hugged his body just right, the dark jeans didn't seem to be that tight on his lower body, just accentuating the curves of his thighs. and wow, what an ass. 

his back was turned the whole time. he carefully removed his helmet, combing his hair back, but he didn't seem satisfied with the result when he looked at his own reflection in a car window. so, he pulled out a small comb that was in his back pocket, combing his hair back until he thought it looked presentable enough, slicked back to the last hair.

he put the comb inside his pocket and pulled out his phone from the front pocket. your heart raced. coud be him?

your phone vibrated in your hand. you looked at the screen, a message from alex popped on your screen.

‘’i’m here.’’

you froze in place, like your feet were glued on the floor. you looked back at the exact moment he turned around.

yeah, it was him.

fuck, fuck, fuck. it was him. [...]

to be continued...

[lihhelsing]

Hate That I Loved You

Now complete on AO3!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 ↓

"Are you nervous?" Chrissy asks him as she fixes his hair inside the limo. Eddie smiles tightly at her. 

"No."

She rolls her eyes and Eddie lets out a long breath. 

"A little."

"Don't be," she says and Eddie is the one rolling his eyes now.

"Wow, Chris. Very helpful."

She pats his face affectionately. "Seriously, it's going to be fine. The music video is going to be a success, you're getting another grammy nomination and you're probably going to become the most insufferable person on earth."

Eddie lets his head falls back and closes his eyes, trying to get enough air in his lungs. The car feels stuffed and hot and-

"Hey. Just breathe," Chrissy says. She places her soft hand on his shoulder, but it's not the same. The voice is wrong and the touch is wrong and everything is just…

"I'm fine," he says and Chrissy frowns because she doesn't believe him, but she knows better than to fight him over it. 

"What are you worried about?"

"What I'm not worried about? I'm worried everyone will hate the video, I'm worried Lou is going to show up here even though I explicitly told him not to. I'm worried people will hate the music, say it's too much."

Chrissy doesn't seem fazed by any of that. "The song is not too much, the music video is perfect, we already ran pre-tests and everyone loves it, Lou is not getting anywhere near this place tonight and all security is aware of him and with clear instructions to get rid of him right away. Now. What's really worrying you?"

Fuck. "What if he shows up?"

"Lou is not-"

"Not Lou. Steve. What if Steve shows up?"

"Don't you want him to?"

Eddie opens his eyes and almost laugh at how confused Chrissy is looking right now. He's such a mess. 

"I don't know. I want him to. I miss him. I invited him. But he hasn't responded and I'm not sure if it will be worse if he shows up or if he doesn't."

Chrissy smiles then, and Eddie doesn't get it. It's not something nice or sweet. Eddie fucked up again, even when he said he wouldn't. He cleared the air with Steve. Apologized for being a jackass when they were together. 

Then Steve said he was happy, and Eddie couldn't possibly risk that. He couldn't risk going back into Steve's life knowing he could ruin everything again. So he took a step back, watched him as Steve noticed the change and he let him fucking leave. 

At least, this time, Steve was the one that left. It was all on him and if he also wasn't sure, if he was happy just how he was, then Eddie was glad he didn't mess it up. 

"Ok, here's the deal. You can't control whether or not Steve shows up. But you can control everything else. You can get out there and have a killer launching party. You can read the awesome speech I wrote to you and you can have fun with your band. If Steve doesn't show, then you probably have your answer."

"What if he shows up?" Eddie asks, hand pulling at a strand of hair anxiously. 

Chrissy bats his hand away. "Then you'll also have your answer, sweetie."

"But, like… What do I do, Chris?"

"You don't let him leave this time, dumbass."

Easier said than done. 

-

As soon as he steps into the red carpet, Eddie is a new man. He's still nervous, of course, but it's easier to put on the mask of rockstar Eddie who doesn't really care about anything when all those people are watching. 

He answers a couple of questions, takes a lot of pictures and moves along, waving at some fans that are standing outside and promising to come talk to them once the event is over. 

He walks straight on, doesn't look back. He sees the boys already there, standing at the bottom of the stairs, waiting for him so they can all go inside together. The place is amazing, there's food and drinks and everyone that's anyone is there. 

Eddie is ready. And then. Then he is not. 

"Eddie?"

He whips his head around. Wishes he could stop meeting Steve like that. Wishes he could prepare himself for the blow that it is to see him. 

He's beautiful. Looks like a dream in a fitted suit. 

But he's fidgeting with his hands, eyes a little glassy. He's nervous, looks like he's holding his breath while Eddie doesn't answer him, just stares, dumbfounded. 

Right. He needs to answer him. 

"Steve, hey," Very eloquent. "I'm… Surprised to see you here."

Steve flinches visibly and Eddie needs to keep his damn mouth shut. Before Steve can say anything or give him an excuse to bolt out of there, Eddie takes the steps he needs to get to him. 

Then, his voice is nothing more than a whisper. 

"I'm glad to see you here."

Steve blinks and his expression softens. 

"Thanks for inviting me. It means…" Steve trails off, his words getting lost somewhere between Eddie and all those people around them.

Eddie can see flashes going out and there's a part of his brain reminding him they are in public. He grabs Steve's hand. 

"Wanna get out of here?"

Steve looks taken aback. "You mean, go inside? Yeah, sure, I think we-"

"No, I mean get out of here. My car is still outside, I can take us anywhere."

It takes a second for Steve to process what Eddie is saying. He squeezes his hand and nods his head. 

"Yeah, ok."

Then, they are off, hands linked together as Eddie pulls Steve in the opposite direction of everyone that's getting on the red carpet. There's still flashes going off and he hears people calling his name but the only thing he cares right now is the feeling of Steve's hand on his and the certainty he's not going to let him leave again. 

-

The light of his phone illuminates the inside of the limo. Everything is quiet, Steve is pressed up on his side even though there's all this space inside the car. He reads Chrissy's messages that he's been ignoring for the past five minutes. 

'Where are you?'

'Eddie, seriously!! Pick up the damn phone!!'

'People are saying you left!!! where the fuck are you?'

His fingers are hovering over the keyboard when a new message comes in, the loud sound echoing through the silence. 

'that times photographer said you left with a mysterious man so either this is Steve and you're fixing things and I'm giving you a pass or you can get your skinny ass back here because you won't miss this premiere for a random hookup'

'just warn a girl next time! and use protection!'

Eddie locks his phone with a loud groan, and Steve chuckles beside him. 

"Everything ok?"

"Yeah, Chrissy is just about to kick my ass when I see her again, but it's fine."

"We can go back," Steve offers and Eddie finally looks at him. The lights come and go as the car moves and Steve's eyes are still shining. 

"I don't want to go back," Eddie says and then, "I want to be here with you."

For some reason, that seems to be enough for Steve to snuggle a little closer to him. They don't talk much during the rest of the drive, but all Eddie can feel is how right everything is. 

- 

His house is big. He knows that, objectively. He doesn't even care that much, he mostly just likes that he has space for all his instruments, has a small studio for when he's feeling restless and enough space for the band to hang out and crash whenever they feel like it. 

He likes it because it feels like home, but the wide-eyed expression Steve is giving the house right now also makes him feel a little self conscious. He knows Steve doesn't care about that stuff, but it's weird to know Steve knew his uncle's trailer and now is seeing this. 

It makes him afraid Steve won't see him as the same person anymore. 

Eddie takes a deep breath and tugs Steve's hand until they are moving again, walking inside the house. He doesn't have a plan, doesn't even know why he brought Steve back to his place because if this is Steve letting him down easy, it's about to get really awkward. 

"Want something to drink?" he offers, hand still curled around Steve's, doesn't know if he knows how to let go. 

Steve shakes his head, eyes the couch and it's crystal clear. He wants to get this over with. Eddie can understand that. 

"Ok, so…" Eddie says when they are sitting down. They aren't holding hands anymore and Eddie misses it.

"Let me talk," Steve says in one breath. Eddie is a little surprised. "Can I go first? I just…"

"Yeah. yeah. Ok"

Steve flexes his fingers and bites his lower lip. 

"Ok," he says, resting his hand on the couch. Not touching. Is that a sign? Are things about to go badly between them? "You hurt me."

Ouch. Eddie flinches even though Steve's expression remains soft. His words are harsh. 

"I'm sorry, Ste-"

"I'm talking."

"Oh. Sorry. Go ahead."

"You hurt me. Back then, when you left. And then last month, when I flew across the country for you and you pulled back. I don't… I can't take it anymore, Eddie. I don't think I can handle getting hurt by you again."

Steve closes his eyes. When he opens them again, they are a little glassy like he's about to cry. Fuck. Eddie is not doing too good himself, and this is worse than he imagined. 

"But I also don't know if I can let this go. Let you go. It feels like we keep missing each other and doing things the wrong way and I don't want to do anything wrong anymore. I want things to be right and I want you."

Eddie blinks as Steve's words sink into him. He's not sure what he's supposed to be feeling but there's something shaped like hope trying to emerge from inside of him. He wants to grab it and keep it. 

"Steve, what are you-"

"I'm not done," Steve says and Eddie shuts his mouth. "I gave you the benefit of the doubt, you know? You pulled back after the shoot and I figured you were overwhelmed. Tired. Sad. Your jackass ex was there, you had to shoot for three days straight and the song is really heavy I just… I made excuses for you but I need to know, Eddie, because it's killing me."

There's a long silence before Eddie realizes Steve wants him to talk. 

"Sorry. I-"

"Stop saying sorry."

"Sor-. Shit. I mean… Fuck, Steve."

Steve keeps his face neutral as Eddie struggles over everything. He doesn't understand what Steve is saying and he's afraid to think it's what he wants because he never gets what he wants. Not when it comes to love. 

"You pulled back. You made me leave because it would make you feel better, to think this was my choice, but it was never my choice. It wasn't my choice when you left all those years ago, and it wasn't my choice last month. I would never choose to leave you, Eddie. Don't you see it?"

"But I keep hurting you!" he says because it doesn't make any sense. Steve shouldn't want anything to do with him. 

"And I keep coming back because I fucking love you and I hate that I love you. Still. After everything."

Eddie's heart is almost beating out of his chest and when Steve looks away from him, it breaks a little. He moves on the couch, closer to him, and his hand finds Steve's chin so he can tilt it in his direction. So he can look him in the eyes when he says what he needs to say. 

"Steve. Fuck. I know you don't want to hear it but I'm sorry. I'm sorry that my egotistical ass hurt you. I'm sorry that I made you think you needed to leave and I'm sorry I left you. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted you more than anything. More than music and fame and whatever. Things only make sense if you're here and when you showed up for the shoot… That's when I realized it. I need you. I love you. I'm sorry it took me this long to realize I never stopped loving you. Please, please tell me I can still fix this."

Steve blinks quickly, his eyes are a little wet and Eddie wants to run but he can't. Even if Steve tells him to go fuck himself, he owes it to him to sit there and take it. 

But instead of cursing him or pushing him away, Steve nods. It's almost imperceptible, but it's there. 

Eddie feels like floating away. "Can I kiss you?"

Steve nods again and Eddie feels like he's moving in slow motion. His hand cups Steve's jaw and pulls him in until their breaths are mixed. He's eager for the kiss but he wants to memorize everything about this. About Steve. 

How he closes his eyes and his eyelashes glow with the tears he was holding back. How he opens his mouth a little and licks his lips, waiting. How his hand grips the couch hard, as if he needs something to keep him grounded. 

Eddie's free hand finds his waist and pulls him until Steve is almost on top of him. He pushes his hair back, counts every freckle on his face and wonders how he lived without him for so long. 

Never again. 

Eddie dips in, lips brushing Steve's and heart hammering in his chest. The kiss is slow, sweet, soft, but it kicks in his muscle memory and soon he's giving Steve what he wants. Just how he liked it. His hand finds the hem of his shirt and he touches warm skin, hopes Steve will let him take them to the bedroom later. 

For now, he kisses him, and Steve kisses him back.

[akaikali]

TMAGP EP 21 REACTION (SPOILERS)

WE'RE BACK BABYYYY LETS GOOOO

Oooo conversations about quitting. That's an interesting thing to see since like. In TMA they could quit and all. I wonder Celia knows about that??

"Psycho goat monster tries to kill me" hey Sam. Sam. What about Mr. Bonzo. What if Mr. Bonzo tries to kill you. What then.

"Complicated immigration status" a part of me thinks that this is NOT just about country immigration but ALSOOO THIS MAKES IT MUCH MORE LIKELY THAT CELIA IS A WOC YAYYYY

SAMCELIA HUG AWWWW but also like okay she's definitely talking about the fact that she can't go back to TMA universe with Jack

MORE INSTITUTE STATEMENTS??? BRUH WE'RE RLY JUMPING BACK INTO IT, HUH???

Okay as much as I think this grand experiment has to do with Fire And Bad Things, I like the treasurer bringing up cultures that don't use the Gregorian calender. Like yes diversity!!

Okay so this site is like. Definitely doing something to the workers, yeah? Like whatever the chemicals in the soil are, they are really fucking with the workers. Now the real question is, did they send the workers there knowing that??

AYO WHAT???? DID THIS PAKISTANI WORKER JUST GET A FUCKING WHITEWASHED CLONE IRL WHAT THE HELL IS THIS????

Alice believes him about thr Institute thing but her deleting the file and not telling him is gonna cause the chasm between them to just get bigger. Oh Alice. Sweetie. Communication PLEASE.

Lena is worried about Gwen?? Ohhh???? (Probably more worried about this girl being a security risk because how did she manage to aggravate Ink5oul more than Starkwell probably could have)

"What did you do?" Oh Alice. You're a little bit too late to the party, methinks.

OH MY GOD. OKAY SO. ANY TATTOO??? INK5OUL CAN USE ANY TATTOO??? THATS. WOW OK.

Tape recorder??? Hello????

"Gwen (Compelled)" HELLO COMPELLED BY WHAT??? THE TAPE RECORDER???? IS THE TAPE RECORDER USING HER???? WHAT THE FUCK OH MY GOD????

Oh would you look at that. It's Error. I don't think it's Lucia but. Well. She's doing some Compelling, that's for sure.

Im sorry.

Huh. You know, it makes me think that Error is maybe another old archivist. I don't think it's Jon, it just wouldn't make sense. But maybe another one?? Especially since Ink5oul seems somewhat familiar with them, enough to know the tape recorders belong to them. I think it could be a voiceless character from TMA.

Also just...the way they talk to Error it feels like a fledgling vampire being annoying by the millenia old vampire grandpa waking up from their slumber going "MY PRECIOUSSSS" while the fledgling is like "come on gramps get with the times we don't do that anymore" but then when the old vampire goes to attack them they're like "AIGHT AIGHT UR OLDER AND STRONGER I GET IT ILL BACK OFF" like that's the vibes I'm getting.

So it's just like...Is Error old news or something? Maybe Error is what the institute was trying to destroy in 1999 but it only trapped it under the institute until Alice and Sam came for it?

And if it's an old archivist like I think it is (not Jon), then it probably was basically caught onto Sam and Alice like a homing beacon since those two DEFINITELY have statements.

THE TAPE RECORDER BITES NOW????

[thebanishedreader]

Ongoing Book Review: Dead Inside (Chandler Morrison) Pt. 1

I take way too long to finish books since I read like 7 at a time, so I have decided to start posting my thoughts and reviews as I go along. Also, that way I can actually commit to posting these reviews once I finish the book, which is yet another thing the commitment devils have kept me from accomplishing.

Anyhow, though, here we go: the first ongoing review will cover what I have read so far of Dead Inside by Chandler Morrison.

(CW: mentions of necrophilia, cannibalism, and sex. NSFW I guess).

Description by Seller (amazon.com): "A young hospital security guard with a disturbingly unique taste in women. A maternity doctor with a horrifically unusual appetite. When the two of them meet, they embark on a journey of self-discovery while shattering societal norms and engaging in destructively aberrant behavior. As they unwittingly help each other understand a world in which neither seems to belong, they begin to realize what it truly means to be alive... And that it might not always be a good thing."

Here I am, 15% through the book. I know it's not far, but honestly, it's far enough. All I have to say is-- wow. Wow.

This book kinda sucks. Just an all-around drag. A bore, but not the pleasant boring drawl of a lecturer putting you to sleep. The harrowing, suffocating boredom of having to work a shift with that coworker that you hate, that makes you cringe so hard that it's not even entertaining to hate them anymore. Get me out of here. That's how this book feels.

For a book constantly boasting how readers say it's "not for the faint of heart," it's surprisingly underwhelming. I'm frankly disappointed, and yet this book keeps embarrassing itself so much within only 15% that I can't even be angry at myself for falling into its trap.

My reasoning falls into 3 categories: Let-Down, Cringe, and Excuses.

First things first - I was expecting something raunchy, something gruesome and disturbing. I'm not one of those people who shies away from Dead Dove content, far from it. I love that shit. Literature is a place to explore the dangerous, the taboo, the fucked up-ness of being a person. So, finding a book that pledged it was disgusting, disturbing, and medically horrifying? Sign me up. This book is... not that.

What was promised to be a horror novel that pushes the boundaries of what is too much horror, what toes the line between gratuitous and entertaining, this novel relies on one thing: shock value. And the biggest bummer for that tactic is this: if your audience is not shocked, then there is nothing left supporting the narrative.

Dead Inside relies entirely on the audience not being familiar with horror stories or even true crime stories involving necrophilia or cannibalism. The concept of a perverted security guard using his power to violate corpses is supposed to be mortifying, unbelievably despicable. Yet for a seasoned horror fan, it's nothing short of lame. Juvenile, almost. There is hardly any risk when our security guard goes into a morgue which he holds the key to, wherein there are no security cameras, where he can do whatever he pleases, lay on the floor afterwards, and go back to work-- in a tiny, unbusy hospital. It's boring, it's lame, who gives a shit if this weirdo gets his rocks off in weird ways; it's horrible to think of it happening in real life to the body of a loved one, certainly, but this is horror literature. Stephen King would have had worms crawling up the dude's dick and blossoming into a parasite that whispers in his ear until he castrates himself. Chandler Morrison just has our (I hate to even call him this) protagonist fuck a corpse. Cool, I guess.

2. Number Two. Let's talk Cringe Factor.

This narrator is unbearable. Unbearable. He sounds like the stereotype of a discord edgelord who is narrating this book with the sole purpose of scaring off the normies. He relishes in saying gross things, being gross, all while acting as if he is so much more sophisticated than he is.

It doesn't help that the book is narrated in first person. This goes back to how I described the experience of reading Dead Inside to be equivalent to working a shift with a coworker that is very much not your friend who disrespects you the same way a friend would tease. It's just plain oblivious. Our necrophiliac incel narrator is the epitome of the Riverdale meme where Jughead says "I'm weird. I'm a weirdo. I don't fit in. And I don't want to fit in." Like, Christ man, we get it, you don't shower and your hair is greasy and people don't want to be around you not because you're "weird", but because you're inconsiderate and unhygienic and put 0 effort into anything whatsoever. Having to listen to the narrator's commentary on how he's aware how disturbing his own actions are, how he knows the ordinary person would see him as a freak, it's just so lame. That's the only word I have for it, really. Just completely and utterly lame. This novel reads with the same tone as a Reddit incel jerk-off posting about Elliot Rodger. It's just pathetic, but there's no pity there. It's entirely self-induced patheticness that the narrator excuses as being "unique."

It's fine to have characters in books that are frustrating, irritating, that make you just want to smack them upside the head for yapping too long. But it's never a good sign when the person I want most desperately to shut the fuck up is the narrator. It's not good writing if my method of making the narrator quit talking is closing the book and contemplating whether or not it's even worth finishing. Extraordinarily poor quality character. But it's not intentional - we are supposed to find this character disturbing, threatening, and eerily fucked up. We're supposed to wonder why he got this way, and what it will take to break him. We are supposed to hate him, and relish in his demise. I feel nothing but exasperation from this man. The simplest way to resolve my hatred for him is to close the book and put it away. I don't give a fuck what happens to him. I don't think he even deserves my attention, and he's the narrator. This is bad.

3. And finally. Excuses.

This complaint is a short, but prudent one. The writing quality is mediocre at best. One of the biggest rules of any creative work, but particularly writing, art, and filmmaking, is that your audience is smarter than you think. Leave things open for interpretation. Leave opportunity for ponderance, and analysis. Show, don't tell.

Dead Inside is all tell, with nothing to show. Our narrator is a loser, but Morrison doesn't let us own it. Instead, excuses are made; the most infuriating example of this is after our narrator has finished fornicating with a poor, lifeless victim. The section goes:

"... but my lovers are all equipped with the best birth control the world can offer. As in, dead reproductive systems. I know that goes without saying, but I like to say it." (p. 21)

If it goes without saying, then don't say it. The segment would have been entirely fine without that last remark; if anything, it would have been better, and bolstered the narrator's character as a whole! And this is only one of the outright examples I have of this characterization.

The bitter, dark humor of our narrator would have been brilliantly given if the quote ended at "dead reproductive systems." We would have been left with the pure objectification and lack of emotion our narrator possesses, how he sees dead bodies purely as anatomical tools for his own peak control and pleasure, his own performance. We as the audience would have been victims of him as well, subjected to listen to the gross things he says and does and entirely unable to resist it-- pure puppets for his sick fantasies, just like the corpses he violates. It would have illustrated an actual level of mystique and unsettling nature to the relationship between narrator and narrated and audience. The novel's ongoing themes of fetish and object, the definitions of violation, it all would have been so interesting if only the narrator didn't say something so juvenilely self-aware every five seconds, like he's vying for our attention and approval. Look!!, Morrison makes our narrator constantly wave his hands in our face like a child, Look!! Isn't that fucked up!! Look at how fucked up I can be! Tell me I'm gross, tell me I'm weird!! Look at how gross that is, right!! That's scary, right??

No. It's annoying, and it gets old before it even got a chance to start.

Again, I'm 25 pages into a 191 page book. It's mid as fuck. I hope it turns around, but I don't think it will-- I can see from only 15% where this story is going, I bet I can plot out most if not the entire rest of the book. I think the concept is one spooky "what-if" that goes no deeper than that. Honestly, I'm really disappointed. I wanted to be disturbed. I don't have much motivation to keep reading this book except the pervasive nagging of my soul to finish most books I pick up. Plus, I want to know if I'm wrong about how dog this has so far turned out to be.

If you made it this far, holy shit. Congrats. You're running the Athens marathon by reading this. You're amazing. I'm giving you a small kiss on the forehead.

[blushedfawn]

i forgot to give y'all my rundown of Fitz and the Fool book 1!!!!! I finished, and started book two today.

SPOILERS AHEAD (tainted by the secrets I know now in book 2 lol)

-starting off with a possibly bad take: I quite literally don't give a fuck about any of the kids at withywoods. I understand they are children, but they're also ruthless bullies who are really awful to Bee, and I never cared for them so like.... Bee literally risks her life to save them, asks them just to leave the door CRACKED for her and they fucking CLOSED IT ON HER AFTER THEY WERE SAFE I FUCKING HATE THEM IDC!!!! I HATE THE WITHYWOODS KIDS. I DONT GIVE A FUUUUCKKK ABOUT ELM! OR HER MAMA! SHUT UP!!!!!!!!! I NEVER WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THEM AGAIN! NO REDEMPTION ARCS! DIE!

-RIP TO ALL WE LOST!!!! MOLLY! REVEL! PATIENCE! ALL THE HOMIES LOST ALONG THE WAY!

-FITZ. my thoughtless, dumb ass, unthinking, brain empty beautiful beautiful man who is 60. 60!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT A JOURNEY THIS HAS BEEN. I'M NOT OKAY. PLS I LOVE YOU. ITS ALWAYS BEEN ABOUT YOU. BELOVED. PRINCE FITZCHILVARY FARSEER. THE WITTED BASTARD. I LOVE YOU, PLEASE USE UR FUCKING BRAIN. U ARE BIG DUMB IDIOT. #DILF THO

-FOREVER IS OVER. THE ENTIRE SEQUENCE OF FITZ GETTING HIS HOMECOMING MOMENT AND ACTUALLY BEING CROWNED IN FRONT OF EVERYONE AT BUCKEEP HAD ME CRYING AND SCREAMING AT MY DESK ON MY LUNCH BREAK!!!!! MY HEART. MY SOUL. SUUUUUCHHHH A LONG TIME COMING. IM NOT OKAY. I KEPT RE READING JUST TO CRY LOLOLOL

-Shun (Shine) is so obviously chade's daughter it's crazy, LOLOLOL AND YET WHEN THEY FINALLY REVEALED IT, I WAS STILL SHOCKED. LANT IS WHAT SHOCKED ME THE MOST ACTUALLY BECAUSE I DIDN'T REALLY SEE THAT COMING ESPECIALLY WITH THEIR WEIRD ROMANCE AND NOW WE KNOW THAT THEY CANONICALLY HAD SEX EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE SIBLINGS..... BBY.......ROBIN...WHY.

-speaking of Chade, He's so interesting, like everything he does I just want to know everything about him, we got a little bit of a reveal about how he came to but keep Castle, and his true feelings about being a bastard who had to live in the walls. The more I read about him, the more I understand him, but he's still a crazy old wack ass man, and him securing dragon's blood, (that tie to the rain wild chronicles was needed for sure.) WAS CRAZY. HE IS C R A Z Y.

- Bee. icon. the moment. the chosen one. (sorry bestie) I love everything about her, she's so cool and so main character it's insane. I fear she's about to go through the worst, but she was so strong when everything was going on I just feel for her so deeply.

-WOLF FATHER. NIGHTEYES I LOVE YOU SO DEEPLY AND WILDLY. THE STORY OF HOW HE ENDED UP IN THE BUCKKEEP MARKET SHATTERED ME.

-on the topic of Bee, it was so obvious from jump that she was connected to the fool as soon as I read her description, but the way fitz adamantly denied this for like a book and a half is actually distressing and really annoying, because everyone is talking about this lost boy who is the complete description of bee and he's just like "couldn't possibly be MY fuck ass kid" but literally it is your kid??? so OBVIOUSLY. The way everyone is blinded by gender, being like well yeah that child looks exactly like what you're saying but this is a girl and not a boy and it's like bitch open your eyes...LOOK! LOOK WITH UR SPECIAL EYES 👁️👁️.....

-Perseverance: I LOOOOOOOOVE.

-ash/spark BABY I LOOOOVE YOU!!! SISTA! DIVA! QUEEN! I'm hearing rumors about her and Lant getting a romance plot.. and I don't like Lant so ... no thanks. she's also 13. SO PLEASE.

- Lant has been growing on me, but I didn't like him from the start and I still kind of don't

-BELOVED REVEAL. THIS SHIT HAD ME ACTUALLY SOBBING AT MY DESK, AND THE FIRST THING BEING FITZ STABBING HIM WHEN HE'S TRYING TO REACH FOR BEE, LIKE I GET IT BUT ALSO FITZ WHAT THE HELL???

-THE SERVANTS CULT. SCARY. DANGEROUS. I DONT LIKE IT ONE BIT. FANATICS ARE ACTUALLY SCARY AS A CONCEPT IN GENERAL TO ME SO LIKE NO THANKS. it's so scary the power of belief, wow the more the book delves into it the more fearful I am like literally having inbred children as cattle to just take dreams from them and then poke them and make them breed is like crazy... from beloved's words "cousins with cousins, brother and sister, whatever it takes" LIKE THAT IS R O U G H.

-where the FUCK is Prilkop, that bitch!

-NETTLE AND RIDDLE!! YASSSSSS

-THE MOMENT NETTLE AND FITZ SHARE WHEN HE HAS NO CONTROL AND ACTUALLY LET'S EVERYONE KNOW HIS TRUE FEELINGS AND PAIN, WHICH IS BASICALLY WHAT EVERYONE HAS BEEN ASKING HIM TO JUST BE HONEST ABOUT FROM THE START WAS CATHARTIC BECAUSE FINALLY OPEN YOUR FUCKING MOUTH FITZ!!!!!!!! NETTLE CALLS HIM DA LIKE.. SHE NEEDED TO HEAR THOSE WORDS.

-Thick, never change. i would die for you bestie.

-THE PART WHERE THEY FINALLY COME THROUGH THE SKILL PILLAR AND FOR A SPLIT SECOND ROBIN MAKES YOU THINK THAT THEY MIGHT HAVE TAKEN YEARS TO GET THERE, WHEN DUTIFUL'S BEARD IS GRAY WITH SNOW BUT OH MY GOSH THAT WAS SO SCARY I ALMOST CLOSED THE DAMN BOOK

AND NOW, I've made it to the point where the journey is about to actually start, and Fitz has left the castle in pursuit of Bee 🥲. I am scared. that is all.

[nosferatufaggot]

yap about something idc how long or if it is something I don't know about just yap 🫵🫵🫵

I just woke up but I guess I have something to say. As of right now, the newest episode of Doctor Who is Joy to the World. Okay?

So Doctor Who has been around for sixty years. And it's a time travel show. So naturally, as one does, they encounter dinosaurs. And it never looks good. Now, it doesn't look History Channel levels of bad but it never looks good. Classic Doctor Who could give you some Godzilla-esque dinosaurs. They'd use a miniature toy of the Tardis and a little set to show the Tardis marginalizing. And it's scale is quite obvious. Same thing for dinosaurs.

Nu Who has CGI. An upgraded appearance for the dinosaurs for sure, but the dinosaurs still don't look good. It's always off. However, in Joy to the World they have a dinosaur. And I was like WOW. That dinosaur looks so good! But this is Doctor Who?

So I just kept thinking about it in the back of my mind while watching. They have Disney money now. They aren't on as small of a budget, so maybe they can get improved effects in a modern day? But that couldn't be the answer. Space Babies aired last year and it had a dinosaur at the beginning of the episode and that dinosaur still didn't look good. I was just gonna accept it as a miracle. There are a lot of things I want answers to that I know not enough people care about so there is no public info on it. Googling "Doctor Who had a good looking dinosaur for once how the fuck" didn't seem like a frugal endeavour.

Then. WhoCulture video about the episode. OH MY GOD. GUESS THE FUCK WHAT! This dinosaur? This dinosaur that was in the episode all of two minutes? Was practical effect. They went and BUILT THE DINOSAUR! IT WAS ALL PRACTICAL EFFECT!!!!!!!!!!! AAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! I knew that RTD was pushing for practical and that they were building more things now that they had the budget to do so, BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT THE DINOSAUR TO BE PRACTICAL EFFECT!!!!!

Steven Moffat was in charge of it, yknow? And his last episode Boom wasn't all practical. There was a set, and the set had a crater. But they also used this awesome techno gadget of a screen. Not a green screen but it's so modern and future-is-now and cool. I thought there was another cool ass advancement in technology that he asked to be used for the dinosaur. BUT NO!!!!! The dinosaur was real and it was beautiful. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Everything is better with practical effects, even if it's shitty. I won't name a name, but there is this old set of movies my friend had me watch cuz she loves them. They do cool ass things with practical effects and its so cool. Sometimes it's not perfect, but you can tell the love and care put behind it when they do practical over CGI.

Like just simply Power of the Doctor vs any silly classic who costumed villain. I DON'T CARE IF IT'S BAD I LITERALLY LOVE IT!!!!!!! And a lot of people are being hater haters about this latest season of Doctor Who but they can McGetOverIt. I love it. I love the effort put into it. I love the stories. I love the silliness. I love it all I love it visually. I could see strings attached to a puppet and I wouldn't give a fuck. Seeing the security camera on the school in Lisa Frankenstein takes me out of it a bit, but I still fucking love Lisa Frankenstein.

I'd have to be senile to start saying that if the practical effects look like shit you might as well use CGI and green screens. NO!!!!!!!!!!! Go on location! Put your actors lives at risk! Build your monsters! They were on a REAL FUCKING CLIFF in 73 Yards. A REAL CLIFF!!!!! Not a green screen! Not a built set with an awesome fucking screen thingy in the background. A. Real. Cliff. Doctor Who is amazing and I'm kissing it on the mouth.

[cadyrocks]

Reading through "Escape From The Dark Forest", a tale of a bunch of whitehat hackers trying to save about $9.6 million worth of Ether from a faulty smart contract, two things struck me.

This is a wonderfully-written, inspirational story of collaboration that's genuinely wild and fun to read, with a happy end where nobody gets scammed for millions of dollars and a plucky team of whitehat hackers save the day. Hooray!

Absolutely no fucking part of this is in any way acceptable for something passing itself off as a financial or investment instrument!!!

I mean holy shit. There's layers to how utterly fucked this is!

First, it's really fucked that people are dumping millions of dollars in investments into a company with publicly readable "smart contracts" that contain significant security errors. If the person who found the exploit had been malicious self-interested ("code is law", remember?), that's nearly ten million nominal dollars gone. And it wouldn't even be clear that it'd be theft, because that's how the contract was written.

Second, it's incredibly fucked up that Etherium is a "dark forest" in the first place. See, the devs couldn't just use the exploit to save the funds themselves. They'd have to put it in a pool of pending transactions (the "mempool") and bid to find a miner who would implement it in a timely fashion. In doing so, they would run the risk of the transaction being picked up by bots that could outbid them, frontrun the transaction, and... steal all the money in the process. This is apparently a fundamental risk for all transactions in Etherium.

What? The fuck? I'm no blockchain expert but my takeaway is "Jesus tittyfucking Christ why is this not enough to make people abandon the platform en masse?"

And third, it's absolutely incredible that the solution to this problem was... To find a trusted third party to skip over the Etherium mempool. They directly contacted a miner they trusted and had that miner manually insert the transaction. In a trustless decentralized blockchain. Note that this miner could at any point decide, "nah, I'm just gonna steal it" and do that instead (but, again, debatable if it's theft or not). So could any other entity trusted in the process, although they would also run the risk of getting sniped by bots, because they'd have to go through the mempool. Remember that one of the main selling points is the idea that the network works despite adversarial relationships, specifically because of this trustlessness. And here, the only solution to salvage nearly ten million nominal dollars was to find a trusted third party to overcome vulnerabilities built into the protocol.

Absolutely buck-wild shit from top to bottom.

Now this is very much my interpretation, but I feel like it's written and framed as though it's a triumph.

But that's just not what happened here! An investment fund based its fundamental existence on faulty code, an exploit was found, and they couldn't fix the exploit without exposing themselves to unacceptable risks or sidestepping a fundamental part of the system. A bunch of greedy, stupid gamblers barely avoided losing their shirts to their own hubris and carelessness, and only got off scot-free because they knew which centralized entity to call to bail their asses out. We're talking about nearly ten million nominal dollars here!

These kinds of errors (and the hacks that exploit them) are ubiquitous, because it turns out anonymous randos running ponzi schemes aren't super serious about security.

This would be kinda funny and interesting if we were talking about WoW gold or monopoly money or whatever the fuck is going on in Eve Online. But we're not. We're talking about tens or hundreds of millions of nomimal dollars being pumped into insane, insecure DeFi ponzi schemes where at any moment a well-placed flash loan or code exploit could lead to everyone involved losing their shirts. Remember Beanstalk? Remember Axie Infinity? Remember The DAO?

I cannot stress enough how insane every part of this is. Crypto is cancer.

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Irresistibly Yours

Chapter 1 - The Elevator

Summary - Y/N Y/L/N moves to NYC in hopes for a fresh start after a nasty breakup. There she meets her neighbor, the cynical lawyer, Dean Winchester. A love-hate relationship starts evolving between them ever since they met in the elevator one morning but a desperate situation and a string of lies forces the two friendly rivals to go on a date or rather a fake date. Will sparks fly between them when Dean gets to know Y/N real and up close? Will Y/N finally find her Prince Charming in the grumpy, workaholic, divorce lawyer?

Pairing - Lawyer!Dean Winchester x Y/N

Warning - None for this chapter

Word Count - 1981

Square Filled - Moodboard ( @girl-next-door-writes )

A/N - *Cracks knuckles* Ta-daaaa! The series is finally here it's already Sunday where I live and I was dying to share this! It's going to be a wild ride ahead. So buckle up your seatbelts and enjoy the ride!

This is also my submission to @flamencodiva's Writing Challenge and @deanwanddamons' 2K Blogiversary challenge (congratulations on your milestone, Sian). Prompts are in bold.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thanks again, hon❤️)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Series Masterlist Masterlist

Throwing her bag over the table, Y/N slumped down on the couch, letting out a sigh. The pressure from the higher-ups, consistent criticism of your work and impending deadlines were weighing heavily on her shoulders and she was in a desperate need of a break.

She looked over to the stack of papers on the table that now lay abandoned. The rejection from the publishing company was the fucking cherry on top. Y/N buried her face in her hands in frustration as she was almost on the verge of a mental breakdown, a few angry tears rolling down her cheeks. Letting her head fall back, she swiped away those angry tears, letting out a long sigh of defeat.

“Why can't I ever do anything right?” She mumbled, her breathing heavy as she bit down on her trembling lips.

In her late twenties, after a nasty break up, Y/N had a marvellous thought that she needed a fresh start. So she had left her corporate job back in Atlanta and moved to New York to pursue her dreams of becoming a writer. She had secured a good position in one of the leading magazine companies and started to write the novel that she had been planning since she was seventeen, but lately nothing seemed to work out the way she wanted. Sure, she was getting paid well but it wasn't enough compared to how much she had to deal with her shitty coworkers and bosses. She had now lost every motivation to continue her novel after the first draft got rejected by the publishing companies enough times to make her feel insecure about her writing.

“Why can't my life just be a goddamn Hallmark movie?” Y/N muttered under her breath as she picked up a cushion and covered your face, letting out a muffled scream.

Her wallowing time was interrupted by the blaring noise of her phone in the awfully quiet apartment, making her nearly jump out of her skin. Another frustrated groan left her lips as she saw the person calling her.

“I told you to stop calling me, for god's sake!” Y/N yelled into her phone.

“Come on, Y/N. One dinner.” The man on the other end pestered. “You know, at work people talk about how uptight you are. Let yourself go, once in a while.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Michael- I'm not interested. I told you a hundred times before and I'll say it again. Leave. Me. Alone!” She said. The line on the other side went quiet.

“Bitch.” She heard him say before the call disconnected.

“Fuck off!” She yelled again, knowing fully well he couldn't have heard her now. Y/N finally decided to put him in her blocklist because Michael didn't seem like he was gonna stop otherwise.

It wasn't that she had a stick up her ass for not wanting to go on a dinner date with her coworker. Honestly, she missed the whole first date experience, but Michael was definitely not the guy for her, or for any other girls out there in her opinion. He threw around sexist comments around the office like it was some cool shit and chivalry was definitely dead for him.

Y/N finally got up from her seat, shoulders still tense from the day's events. Opening the refrigerator, she stood there gawking at the leftovers in it.

“Cold pizza….spaghetti….chocolate brownies….” She looked at your dinner options, weighing each one's pros and cons before settling on - “Brownies it is.”

Taking out the chocolate confection , she returned to the couch. She put on Netflix as she browsed through it's movie section.

“Stupid Prince Charming-” she scoffed, biting into the delicious the chocolate chip brownie in hand. Grumbling at the unrealistic standards of Netflix rom coms, she still pressed the play on the film The Proposal.

Finishing her 'dinner', Y/N picked up the comforter, nestling deep into her couch as she watched the coldhearted Margaret fall head over heels for her assistant, the exhaustion kicked in.

“Fuck!”

And that's how the next morning started as Y/N woke up one hour later than usual. She had fallen into a deep sleep on her couch before Andrew even got to propose to Margaret, which was not exactly the wisest decision as the next morning, her neck and back screaming in pain.

The girl knew she was going to be late to work today by the time she had left the house. Hair up in a messy bun, a bag hanging from her shoulder, she tried to smoothen down the creases on her skirt before rushing towards the elevator in high heels.

“Hold the door!” She yelled at the man inside as soon as the door started to close. She sprinted towards the elevator as the man kept looking at her, an annoyed look evident on his face when he slammed the button, taking a step forward to keep the door from closing.

“Thank you!” Y/N huffed, as she got in the elevator. The man chose to remain silent and he pressed the ground button on the elevator. “I am so screwed today! I have never been this late to work!” She babbled on but the man still maintained the stoic look on his face. Y/N slightly turned to face the man of stone. He was probably in his thirties, his dirty blonde hair, sparkling green eyes and light stubble on his cheeks went very well with the crisp grey suit he was wearing. One hand in his pocket, he just stood there, jaw clenched together, eyes focused on the shut doors.

“You know, I should have set the alarm! Stupid-”

“Do you ever shut up?” The man finally spoke, a look of disinterest passing his face.

“Wow. Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed, I guess.” Y/N rolled her eyes.

“Excuse me?” His voice was hard.

“I said, someone woke up-”

“I heard what you said. I am just not interested in listening to your morning fuck-up story.” He scoffed.

“Woah, okay.” She widened her eyes at his disrespectful comment, “I just-” The elevator reached the ground floor of their apartment building and the doors opened with a ‘ding’.

“I think you don't want to waste anymore time talking since you're already running late.” Y/N gasped slightly at the audacity of the man. “Have a good day, Miss L/N.” The man wished before moving out of the confined space as Y/N narrowed her eyes at him and wondered how he knew her name.

“Have a good day as well, Mr….” She trailed off as she got out of the vator as well.

“Dean Winchester.” He said as he walked away, never once looking back as Y/N stood there, bewildered at what just happened.

Hands balled up into fists in apprehension, Y/N inhaled audibly, as she stood on the other side of the door. She was late to the meeting by half an hour, twenty-four minutes to be precise and nothing annoyed her boss more than tardiness.

“Y/N, it's a pleasure that you finally graced this meeting with your presence on this fine morning.” Abaddon’s words laced with acute sarcasm made it quite clear that Y/N was doomed when she entered the room. The remaining four pairs of eyes in the room were zeroed in on her, as she abashedly took a seat at the far-end of the table. She couldn't risk her job because of her smartass mouth and she was already on thin ice, so she kept quiet and let Abaddon carry on with the meeting cause even Cruella De Vil would be hiding her face in shame if she ever met Abaddon. She was an Umbridge before her coffee and a Regina George after drinking her coffee. There was no way she was going to spare the poor girl today.

“As I was pointing out, our sales have gone down in recent months quite drastically. Readers are saying the contents are not relatable or entertaining enough….”

A yawn threatened to leave Y/N as she listened to Abaddon go on about the poor performance of the company, her mind preoccupied by a certain green-eyed man. She had never seen Dean in the building before this morning. He was annoyingly good looking and rude and Y/N couldn't seem to get rid of the image of him looking dapper in that grey suit. She was barely able to focus on what Abaddon was saying.

With Dean Winchester still running through her mind, Y/N trudged back to her small cubicle after the painfully hour long meeting.

Plopping down on the chair, covering her face with her hands, she exclaimed, “I need coffee!”

“Thank me later.” She turned her head to Meg as she pushed a hot cup of coffee towards her before going back to her own cubicle.

“Black, just like my heart.” She said before inhaling the strong smell of the drink. Taking a little sip, she let out a sigh of content. “Jesus, I needed this badly.”

“Yeah, you look like shit,” Meg chuckled, earning a glare from her friend. “Did you even take a look at the mirror today? Honestly, I am not even exaggerating, I-”

“Meg, I’ll forever be grateful to you for this cup of coffee, but please stop talking.” Y/N groaned loudly.

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught Michael walking towards her and put on headphones and turning the volume up, trying to look busy. “Heads up, incoming douchebag.” The brunette said. After the hubbub of the morning and the shitshow of a meeting, Michael was the last person Y/N wanted to see.

“Morning, Y/N.” The smug smile on his face made her cringe. This had been going on for a month now. She thought after last night, Michael would finally back down, but apparently she was very wrong. “My messages don't seem to get through anymore.”

“She blocked you. God, take a hint.” Meg muttered.

“She's right. It's ‘cause you can’t seem to take no for an answer.” Y/N huffed.

“One dinner. Just one.”

“No.”

“She said no. Isn't that enough?” Meg jumped to her friend’s rescue when she saw her fumbling and getting uncomfortable. Michael inched towards Y/N anyway, completely ignoring his colleague’s comment, a smirk evident on his face.

“Y/N, don't be so uptight. What harm does a single dinner gonna do?” He asked.

“It’ll be cheating. I have a boyfriend.” Y/N blurted out, making Meg’s eyes go wide, but it actually seemed to work as Michael moved away from her.

“A boyfriend?”

“Yeah. We have been going out for a while now.” The said man frowned as he thought the words over before leaving her space with a little nod of his head. Maybe it worked on him without any hassle, but she knew this lie would come back to bite her in the ass if the whole office got to know about it. Oh, and they would know since turning around, Y/N saw Ruby staring at her, a grin appearing on her face as she took in all the juicy gossip. The lie was now gonna spread like wildfire.

“Spill.” Y/N turned to look at her friend who stood there, hands folded, eyes wide, brows raised in utter disbelief. She puckered her lips as she waited on Y/N to explain who just frowned in reply. “Well? What happened? I want all the details, Y/N!”

“Oh come on, L/N. Share the deets.” Ruby snickered. “Who's the man that actually managed to capture your heart?”

“Dean Winchester.” The name tumbled out of her lips so easily and that was how she knew she was screwed.

Chapter 2

Feedback is highly appreciated!

Let me know if you want to be tagged in this series!

[hintofelation99]

The Justice League Meets the Avengers Pt. 1

In an alternate reality where Steve and Tony mended their relationship and Thanos never came, the Avengers meet for a family game night. Peter Parker, Steve Rogers, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, Thor, Stephen Strange, Bruce Banner, and surprisingly enough Loki all gather. The night is going well, everyone is getting along, though there is some tension. Clint and Natasha are still suspicious of Loki, but the tense atmosphere is broken by Peter asking Loki about magic. At first the conversation is nice, lighthearted. Loki's obvious excitement over magic is humanizing, so much so that Clint almost, almost, warms up to the trickster. However, when Peter starts asking about alternate dimensions things start going downhill. The following transcript outlines the events that take place that strange evening.

Peter, looking very excited: So alternate Dimensions are real?

Loki, with a bashful smile: Well of course, assuming that we are the only dimension in this infinite universe is rather close minded.

Peter: Thank you! That's what I said to Flash, we can not be the only reality, that'd be insane!

Tony: I'm not disagree with underoos or peppermint patty, but have we ever seen these dimensions?

Stephen: I've been to several.

Bruce Banner, with a spoon full of ice cream hanging out of his mouth: R'lly?!

Stephen, raises an eyebrow clearly unimpressed: I am the Sorcerer Supreme. Of course I've been to alternate realities.

Thor: Ha! You mortals are so easily impressed, are they not brother?

Loki, with a mischievous smile: They are. Thor and I have also visited several realities.

Clint: I call bullshit.

Wanda: Actually, while I have not been to any alternate dimensions, I can confirm their existence as well.

Sam: Ha, fine, then take us to one.

Loki's smile widens, Stephen looks like he wants to intervene, but Tony speaks up first.

Tony: Yeah, what tweety bird said.

Sam glares at Tony and Bucky chuckles.

Loki looks absolutely delighted, which Natasha and Clint find very concerning: As you wish.

Stephen: NO-

---- The Justice League Watchtower----

A gathering of the Justice League takes place. Batman is in a heated debate with Green Lantern about watchtower security. Wonder Woman, Superman, Aquaman, and Flash watch the debate. Wonder Woman looks amused, the others seem to pity Green Lantern.

Green Lantern: I'm just saying Batman is being way too paranoid! The watchtower is completely secure, there's no way anyone can get in.

A giant green portal opens and out of comes eleven strangers. Some of the strangers look confused, some annoyed, and one looks very smug.

Batman narrows his eyes at Green Lantern as the entire League leaps to their feet.

Green Lantern: Fine. You were right, happy now?

Batman: No.

Tony: WHERE THE FUCK ARE WE LOKI?!?!

Loki just shrugs

Steve: Who are these people?

Wonder Woman: I believe my team mates and myself have the same question.

Clint glances to Natasha and notices that she and Bucky are already in defensive positions. He follows their lead and shortly after all Avengers, except Peter, are in defensive positions.

Peter: Holy crap! Mr. Stark, Mr. Stark! We're in an alternate dimension!!

Tony: Uh, yeah, not the time kid.

Peter looks around, for the first time he realizes that he's the only one not in a fighting stance: Oh, uh sorry!

Batman: Who are you and what do you? Answer in the next five seconds and maybe we will allow you to leave.

Green Lantern: Yeah, what he said.

Batman glares at Green Lantern.

Steve: Maybe we should all just calm down. We meant no harm, this is all a big mistake. I-

Batman: Names. Now.

Peter: Wow Mr. Stark, that guys sorta scary.

Tony: My name is Tony Stark. The kid's name is Peter. Tall, dark, and cranky over their is Bucky. The peacemaker is Steve-

Batman steps forward to interrupt, Superman stops him.

Superman: If you do not mind, I think we were hoping for first and last names.

Tony: Fine, that's Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers. Don't worry about the kid's last name.

Flash: Alright, and the others?

Steve: Natasha Romanoff, Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, Stephen Strange, and Bruce Banner. And those two are Thor and Loki Odinson. And you are?

Superman: We are the Justice League. You may call me Superman. That is Wonder Woman, then Green Lantern, Aquaman, Flash, and the angry looking one is Batman.

Batman glares at Superman.

Batman: Where are you from and what do you want?

Sam: Look man, I get that you don't want us here, but honestly this is all a big accident. We were asking about magic and alternate dimensions and that asshole decided to give us a demonstration. We can leave right now.

Loki makes a few odd hand gestures and mumbles some curses. Superman looks concerned, Batman looks unimpressed, Wonder Woman looks slightly amused.

Thor: Brother, I believe that was your cue to send us back.

Loki: Obviously, I'm not a complete moron. Just, just give me a moment.

Stephen: Did you take us to an alternate dimension with no escape plan?

Loki: ...no

Bruce: What the hell man?! God I knew that should have gone to Valkyrie's party.

Clint: Valkyrie had a party?

Bucky: Not the point Clint.

Batman: I'm contacting our magic users. Green Lantern, escort our guests to the holding cells.

Tony: Holding cells? That seems excessive.

Batman: You can go willingly or we can use force. Your decision.

Superman, glares at Batman: What my team mate is trying to say, is that we don't know if your story is true or not. We have many enemies and can't take any risks.

Green Lantern: Yeah, especially cause the kids are here today.

Batman glares at Green Lantern and takes a step towards him. Superman places a hand on Batman's shoulder to stop him.

Superman: Batman, please do not maim any team mates, you don't want to give Robin any ideas do you? Green Lantern, we will be discussing your conduct.

Peter: Wait, there are other kids here? Can I meet them!

Batman: No.

Seeing Peter's hurt look Batman softens.

Batman: At least, not now. Let us gather more information on the current situation first.

Aquaman: We could expedite this process if we bring in Martian Manhunter.

Wonder Woman: He is currently off world, but I do believe Miss Martian is here. I can have her meet us in holding.

Tony: I'm not letting you put my kid in a cell. Considering you seem to also have mentees I believe you would understand.

Batman: The kid has to wait in a cell too. We must look out for everyone's safety.

Green Lantern: Didn't one of your kids have a box of heads?

Batman looks absolutely murderous, but before he can respond a faint giggling echoes through the room. Everyone except Batman looks very confused.

Batman: Spoiler go back to the the training room right now. And take the others with you.

Spoiler: Dammit.

Robin: You imbecile, you got us caught.

Nightwing: C'mon baby bird be nice!

Red Hood: Shut it dick bag, you're the one who almost sneezed.

Batman: Language Red Hood!

The Avengers chuckle and look at Steve.

Red Hood: Fuck off Bats! Also, Green Night Light, it was a duffle bag. Easier to carry around.

Bruce: Oh my god a duffle bag of heads?

Green Lantern: THAT'S NOT BETTER

Red Hood: I'M SORRY I WAS GOING THROUGH SOMETHING.

Natasha and Bucky shrug, while everyone else looks horrified.

Natasha: Honestly, that's fair.

Red Hood: Thank you! I told you she'd be the cool one, you owe me five bucks.

Arsenal: Seriously Hood? We have a joint bank account?

Batman: Hood we will be discussing your financial decisions.

Stephen: Not to question your leadership, but are those really the decisions that you should be questioning??

Flash: Yeah... no offense Bats but I got agree with weird robe guy.

Batman: Just take them to the holding cells. I'm contacting our magic users.

[sagemusesoutloud]

Anti-Romantic, Part 4

(credit to the original owner of the image)

Character | Jaehyun x reader

Genre | nonidol!au, Mutual Pining, Slowburn, Fluff, Angst

WordCount | 1.5 k

WARNING | Mentions of verbally abusing relationships! It's brief, but there. If you or anyone is going through something similar, please seek outside help!

Author'sNote | I'm not giving excuses as to why it took so long to update, but I'm trying my hardest to be consistent! Let me know if you like how the story is going so far!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 4.5

Sorry I’m an anti-romantic, I don’t believe in romantic

I am afraid that it will burn my whole heart, It will only leave behind ashes.

When you were younger, your family used to call you ‘spitfire.’ They said you were too fiery, argued too well, and too passionate. They had never meant it as an insult, in a way, it was a form of flattery. You grew up as the only female cousin in your family, but you were always leading your cousins on whatever diabolical plan it was that you had come up with: sneaking off to kitchen in the middle of the night to eat all the pastries meant for the morning after, convincing everyone that leaving your grandma’s territory and into the forest in the middle of the night to see if you can find the fairies, racing along the town’s border to see who was the fastest on their bike, and many other child-like plans. You were tough and you were proud, you never allowed yourself to lose.

Later on in life, that same nickname evolved to a less loving version. As you grew older and started to date, your partners always called you out for having strong opinions and for not bending at their will. They never saw you for what you wanted to be; which was an equal. If they said something against one of your friends, they expected you to throw away the friendship. All because they were the opposite sex and made your partner insecure. How could a girl and boy only be friends? Later on, when rumors would spread about your partner and other girls, they would get exasperated with you. If they’d get caught, they would only blame you for being too stiff.

“Why couldn’t you be more passive? If I want to kiss you, I’ll kiss you. You’re my girlfriend, why the fuck would I need permission? Is that what your ‘guy friends’ do? I bet you’ve let them all have a run at you, huh? Keep acting like a bitch, get treated like a bitch. And you wonder why I cheated? What a joke.”

You had to admit, you didn’t really date the greatest of guys. But you could say that now, because you knew now. Back then, you really thought you deserved those kinds of relationships. Like how they say, you only accept the love you think you deserve. However, in a way, it was why you were the way you were now. You always made it a point to communicate and avoid misunderstandings because you didn’t want your partners to throw your words back at you or your actions. It’s why you treaded carefully and avoided one-night stands. You’d rather get to know a person first and then start dating. It’s the exact reason the date you had with that other barista didn’t go through, majority of the guys you talked to thought you were too much work and therefore, not worth it.

Now that you’re an adult, you’d rather be too much work than let a guy walk all over you. Boundaries were important to you because how else were you supposed to gauge their respect for you? You had a tight grip on your morals and rules.

But damn, you’re only human!

The moment your lips crashed, it’s as if the only thing you could keep in mind was one word.

More.

You needed more of him, needed to breathe the same air as him, needed to feel every ridge of his hard body against your soft one, needed to cling to him as close as possible and for as long as possible.It’s as if his lips were the only reason you needed to dive into whatever this was. You were tired of keeping a strong hold on yourself. All that boiling anger turning into dangerous tension, and the only way to release it was to give into the passion between you two.

You settled your arms around his neck, taking that last step closer into him as he cradled your face and deepened the kiss. His other arm wound tightly around you, hand sliding dangerously close to your ass. You feel a deep groan against your chest, one of your hands wandering down his torso, enjoying the shiver you feel as you move lower. His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, a question, so you reply by opening your mouth, tongues fighting for dominance. For every move you delivered, he retaliates just as ardently. You feel your head grow lightheaded as you bring your hands to hold on to his shirt, anything to stabilize you. His hand finally squeezing your ass, shifting you closer to his hips. Oh, lord.

You let out a moan as he bites your lower lip, his kisses descending as you fight to catch your breath. You involuntary let out a whimper as he finds your pulse point and sucks the skin, soothing it with light kisses. Leaving behind a trail of purple blotches, beautifully contrasted against your skin. You’d never been into marking, had it always felt this good?

“Jae…” you can’t think, you can’t even stand properly as he pushes you with his hips against the counter for support. You don’t even know what you wanted to say, do you want to ask for more? What do you want?

“God, I’ve wanted to do this for years.” You pause at that, your hands freezing on their tight grip on his shirt. You feel as if someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water at you, your rationality finally catching up with you.

He leans back to look at you, “if you’re going to stop me, do it now because if you don’t say anything I’ll keep going. And I don’t think I can stop on my own.” His hands drawing gentle, tantalizing circles along your hips where your shirt had ridden up.

You gasp at that; finally bring your eyes to his. He looked exactly how you felt, desperate. His lips were red and puffy from your kisses, his hair messy after running your hands through it. In the light of the kitchen, you could still see how his pupils were blown wide. You’re pretty sure you’re not in any better condition.

“Jae,” you whisper, brining your hands to his shoulders, either to support yourself or to brace yourself for what you were about to say, “if we do this, there’s no going back.”

He lets out a deep breath, “I know, and I’m ok with that.” He offers a gentle smile, “I want that.” His heart drops as he notices how you drop your gaze and bite your lips.

“if we do this, can you guarantee that it won’t ruin our friendship?” for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to speak higher than a whisper or to look at him. “can you promise that you won’t run away again?”

You wait for his response. When it doesn’t come you finally look up, only to find a frown forming on his brow. You don’t expect when he takes a step back, “is that all I am to you? All this is? Just a risk you’re not willing to take just because you don’t want to ruin the ‘friendship’?”

“I don’t know…Am I supposed to forget what you just said a few minutes ago?” He gives a humorless laugh as he paces around the small kitchen.

You’re frozen in place, spaced out at his words. It’s like as if you’re watching yourself from somewhere else. But you think about it, is that what it is?

Before you can respond or come to a conclusion, he stops at the entrance to the kitchen, back towards you. “Are you really not understanding what I’m saying or are you avoiding it?” his shoulders sag but he keeps going, “If loosing me is what you’re so worried about, then let me make it simple for you.”

Your body grows number by the second, what’s wrong with you? You’ve finally done it, burned away the last semblance of security and friendship. Just like a thoughtless spitfire.

“I can’t go back to this back and forth bullshit. I’m tired. I don’t think you even know what you want, so until you do, I think I need my space.”

He motions towards his front door, “I’m gonna go, if you’re still here by the time I come back, I’ll take it as a sign that you do want us…to happen. If you leave, I’ll pretend the last two days didn’t happen and we can go back to how we used to be. I’ll never cross the line again, and I’ll do everything to move on.”

You only notice you’re sobbing when you tears blur your vision. What have you done?

You don’t even hear him leave, only when the door slams after him.

I can clearly see the end, Worse than a hangover

It will be hard, Now, Just end it somewhere here

EndNote | Damn, I've never written a kiss scene before. Hopefully it wasn't too awkward. This is a lot of angst too, which I'm not a big fan of reading, but wow... who hurt me lmao. Promise the next chapter won't be as bad, or will it?

Previous: Part 3 | Next: Part 4.5

[em-exceeds-change-zearu]

hi! different anon here, if I may ask, at the risk of finding out I never understood Kattobing, Yuma and Zexal, I have to ask.... what is worng with Wonder Wing???

i mean, in the end it probably all just boils down to personal preferences, but i just genuinely hate the fuck out of wonder wings. it can be boiled down to two parts though - the music itself, and then the lyrics/execution of it?

Regarding the music itself: it's just. hm. It's not very memorable to be honest. It's very slow and mellow, and it doesn't really fit in with the rest of Zexal's openings? I'm not saying there's a problem with slow and mellow songs, but it just doesn't fit the energy the rest of the OST has - even slower EDs like Setsubou no Freesia or Artist still have the same energy to match the rest of the OST. And that's probably the main problem with Wonder Wings - the singer just doesn't have that energy at all. It honestly sounds like someone reading out the lyrics with the barest inflection of singing. Like. Did this dude just phone it in? Or is he just that bad of a singer? I could not tell you but what I can say is wow, this was. not fun to listen to. again this could just be my personal preferene speaking but man I was not feeling this dude today or any other day.

The lyrics on the other hand, they're just. Kind of really literal. Like if you told someone "okay this is yugioh zexal it's about card games and kattobing and very very shounen here write something about it" and you went to SparkNotes and got the Important Key Terms and slapped something down. Like.

This Duel will decide our destiny Come, show off your heart (cards)

and

Let's create a new future with our Shining Draw Taken by these Wonder Wings Don't let go of your hands Kattobing, further than the sun

like. i can't tel you how jarring it was to hear these terms just slowly spelled out like. Ok. Yes we're aware that duels are a thing that determine a destiny and also kattobanging our way through this current crisis but also what does this mean. what does kattobing mean. 

well, let’s see what Yuma has to say about that in the final episode!

Kattobingu! That's holding onto courage and taking a step forward! Never giving up in the face of crisis! And challenging all difficulties that come your way!

ah. okay! 

remember, kattobing on its own is just, a string of nonsense syllables. a bunch of onomotopea slapped together. the nonsense word equivalent to a bowl of Rice Krispies cereal: snap, crackle, pop. it’s flat out a made up word, and early on we were all struggling on how to summarize it: remember our earlier translations? i’m pop flying? yeah. 

kattobing is a concept that’s very hard to translate literally - it’s an idea that’s built on throughout the whole entire show. even yuma himself has a pretty shallow understanding of it despite it being a crutch word for him - without a physical representation of what it means to him to focus on, like the key, or astral, etc, he falls apart very quickly. the will and drive to push on and keep trying no matter what in the face of failure is honestly something very very hard to keep up even for the most determined of people. it’s something so ingrained into yuma as a character and the show in general that you really want a theme song - especially one that’s meant to introduce the finale and the crux of this entire journey we’ve taken together with yuma and his friends - to really embody that. so just listing out these terms in a very flatly delivered song is just not going to cut it.

for contrast, let’s look at some lyrics of Challenge the Game, the ED that shares Wonder Wings’ final song slot.

When there's a problem that can't be beaten. We'll just try again. You keep holding your heart inside your chest. Continuing to believe, trying to help. Even while you're discouraged and crying. Let's try to secure tomorrow with our bonds!

aha. there we go. not only is this song sung with a lot of energy, the lyrics themselves embody what kattobing is without having to spell out the concept for you. not only that, it’s basically describing what yuma has consistently been doing this entire show - continuing to tackle problems with sheer belief and determination. it’s a song that not only contains the energy of the show, but succtinctly summarizes what we’ve just been watching for the past five seasons, what we hope to see in the final arc. 

basically what i’m saying is that the difference between Wonder Wings and other OPs and EDs in Zexal is the difference between 4Kids’ translation of kattobing versus that one clip of Funimation’s shitty attempts at dubbing it. Funimation went for a very literal translation - just saying kattobing and dropping it like an awkward loanword in the middle of these middle schoolers yelling at each other in english. it. doesn’t roll off the tongue and it doesn’t have any forceful impact or meaning to it in english. what the hell are little kids watching the show with no context going to get from just hearing that? they don’t know what it means. it doesn’t mean anything to them. 4Kids’ instead goes for “I’m going to high-five the sky!” which, yes, it doesn’t literally translate from the snap-crackle-pot nonsense you try and parse from it. but it doesn’t need to. the intent is there. “high-fiving the sky” is complete nonsense. it’s something impossible to do. but declaring it just shows how much yuma’s willing to push himself, to move forward, it’s a phrase with force and drive that yuma himself puts meaning into every time he says it. 

tl’dr: wonder wings is shitty funimation garbage, every other single zexal op/ed is the 4kids superior dub. i’m not saying having wonder wings as a favourite is a bad thing or anything if that’s what you like, but also, why would you when literally every other song in zexal’s ost is, like, right there.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Doppelganger" *Part 23*

WHOO, y'all. I don't know what it is about this story but I am just...rolling it all out with the tragic backstory. No angst, I promise-- It ends happy chill out. But damn. Maybe I'm working out my own issues in here...lulz.

This gif will make so much sense you have no idea.

PART 22

Part 24

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@objection-argumentative

------

“....And how did that make you feel?”

You tried not to laugh out loud as the question left Dr. Crestview’s mouth. Did she really just ask you that?

“...I mean it makes me ‘feel’ bad,” You rolled your eyes with a laugh while looking out the window. When you turned back to the doctor she was not laughing, and she was writing something down.

“...That was a joke,” You clarified.

“Oh yes, I get it,” She nodded as she continued writing.

“Do you?” You asked her frankly. The question caused her to stop writing and look at you.

“Mrs. Barba--”

“Ms. YLN,” You corrected. “I’m not married yet,”

“...Hmm, interesting,” She wrote something down. Seriously? She even had an insight on what-- technicalities?

“I’m sorry, was that some sort of test?” You asked sarcastically.

“Actually, it was,” She said to your surprise.

“Excuse me?” You looked at her, baffled.

“You know when most women get engaged, they start imagining their last names as their husbands. You know such as changing their signature, gathering documents, and the like,”

“...Are you serious?” You laughed again. “This is 2021 lady, half the women I know didn’t even take their husband’s last name at all,”

“And is that what you’re going to do?” She asked. “Keep your last name?”

“...If I say yes are you going to psychoanalyze that too?” You crossed your arms.

“In my experience Ms. Y/L/N, women who don’t want to change their last names tend to do so because they want to keep their independence, their…’identity’. They think taking a man’s last name is ‘giving up’ something. Giving up their identity,” She explained.

“...And?” You gestured with your hand as if waiting for her to continue.

“And in my educated opinion, it also signifies a woman going into a marriage with one foot out of the door already,” She simply stated.

“Wow,” You shook your head with a sarcastic laugh. “Did I come here to resolve my trauma, or for marriage advice?”

“I think they’re one and the same, Ms. Y/L/N,” She stayed completely calm and emotionless.

“Are they?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Given what you’ve told me in our last few sessions, you’ve given off a tone that you don’t think you deserve good things. Maybe you’re keeping on foot out of your relationship so that when it falls apart, you’ll be ready,”

“Wow....wow,” You started to stand up and storm out of the office, but she stopped you with a question.

“I’m sorry if I offended you with my observation Y/N, but be honest. Am I wrong?”

You thought about all the talks you had with Rafael about ‘not being good enough’ for him, or ‘stealing his love’. And on the one hand you felt that you were ‘connected’, you felt safe and secure. After everything you’d been through, it was almost impossible not to be, right? Right?

“....And what is your magic solution to this feeling, doctor?” You crossed your arms.

“You need to forgive yourself,”

“...Jesus Christ,” You rolled your eyes with another laugh as you paced the room. “Really? That’s your solution? Telling me something I already know?”

“No, my solution is this: You need to apologize to your parents,”

“EXCUSE ME?” You practically screamed.

“You blame yourself for their death, correct? You think that because of their desire to make you happy they risked their lives driving into the city and therefore got into their accident,” She looked over her notes from past sessions with you.

“...Right,” You looked down at the floor.

“And I don’t think that you have ever forgiven yourself for that. And in not doing so, you haven’t forgiven yourself for anything you’ve done since then. All these things you say you’ve ‘done’ to Mr. Barba that you should be ‘punished’ for-- he doesn’t see it that way. Other people don’t see it that way. Your parents' accident wasn’t your own doing, getting kidnapped wasn’t your fault. I think that you need to find closure with your parent’s death before you can even begin to ‘forgive’ yourself for whatever transpired between you and Nevada Ramirez,”

“....So you want me to apologize to my parents? How are they going to ‘forgive’ me?” You asked her.

“I think you’ll find Ms. Y/L/N that just the act of apologizing will bring about its own form of forgiveness,” She smiled.

“.....Right…” You tried not to sound condescending, but for a shrink she sure sounded crazy.

“Or don’t listen to me, I can’t force you to do anything. But that is my advice,” She shrugged.

“Noted. Thank you, doctor,” You nodded and walked out the door.

----

You walked out into the streets of the city from your doctor’s office and thinking about just how or when you’d have a chance to go to your hometown where your parents were, when you were stopped by a young girl on the street.

“Oh my god...you’re Y/N!” She gasped.

“...Yes?” You stared at her blankly.

“You’re that girl who killed Nevada Ramirez!” She squealed, causing a few people to stare and take pictures of you as they walked past.

“Oh good lord…” You muttered nervously. “Yeah well um--”

“Can I get a selfie with you?”

“Um--” You looked around, not sure of what to do. You wanted to run down the street screaming, but you thought better of it. You turned back to her with the fakest smile you could form.

“Sure!” You threw an arm around her and smiled as big as you could as she snapped a selfie with her phone.

“Thanks!” She beamed at you. “ And by the way, your fiancé is REALLY sexy,”

“Oh girl I know,” You faked a laugh and a toss of your hair as she walked away with a laugh.

It really creeped you out that girls were ‘fangirling’ over your fiancé. As if you weren’t worried about keeping a hold of him all on your own. Also how did she even know what he looked like?

The article.

You grabbed your phone and did something you told yourself you’d never do: You googled yourself.

The first thing that popped up was an article on the NYTimes.com front page:

“Fairy Tale Romance Or Horror Movie?”

...What the fuck?

The article contained your video as the main focus. Then under it the article basically dictated the video, with Tasha’s opinions thrown in here and there. Then most of the photos from the photoshoot of you and Rafael were at the bottom of the page. They were gorgeous, you had to admit. Granted you were both airbrushed to hell, but Rafael in a suit drove you nuts. Even if it was just on a screen. You dialed his number as you continued walking down the street.

“....Hola, mi amor. How is my pinguino feeling?”

“Well she’s currently feeling like she’s got the sexiest man in New York City,” You grinned.

“Oh really? And why’s that?” He asked you curiously.

“Check out the picture I’m texting you,” You grinned as you texted him one of the photos from the spread.

“Oh Christ…” You heard him mutter through the phone, causing you to giggle.

“Oh yes, you even have your own fangirls now,” You rolled your eyes with a smile.

“No I do NOT,” He argued in disbelief.

“Yeah I’d be careful leaving your office there counselor, a group of tweens might be waiting outside,”

“Oh my god...they’re breaching the doors!” He acted terrified, making you laugh harder.

“Oh I think I see one,” You whispered as if you were sneaking up on someone. “She’s holding a ‘Barba 4Eva’ poster board,”

“You better be kidding,” He warned.

“No, in fact I think she’s right outside your door,” You bit your tongue with a smile.

“Oh well I’d better call security then,” He chuckled as he sauntered over to his office door and swung it open.

“Oh my Gooodddddddd it’s Rafael Barba!!! The sexiest ADA in New York City!!” You giggled wildly, jumping into his arms like a crazed fan.

“I should definitely look into some armed guards at my door,” He laughed as he pulled you into his arms and kissed you.

“Oh most definitely, wouldn’t want to let the crazies in,” You nodded as you kissed him again.

“Well I think it’s too late for that…” He teased you while tousling your hair.

“Shut up,” You playfully hit his hands away.

“Speaking of crazy, how was therapy today mi amor?” He asked cheekily.

Wowwwww, sexy AND sensitive, how did I get so lucky?” You rolled your eyes. “Actually, she gave me homework,”

“Did she?” He inquired.

“Yes,” You suddenly got very serious. “She um, she told me I need to go see my parents,”

“...Your parents?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, something about needing to ‘apologize’ to them or some weird shrink thing like that,”

“....Do you think it will help?”

“I mean...” You sighed and looked out the window. “I don’t know. But I’d like to try,”

“Bueno,” He nodded walking closer to you and kissing the top of your head. “So are you going to go now or--?”

“Well I was kind of hoping you’d come with me,” You bit your lip. You didn’t know if asking him to come along on your shrink homework assignment was allowed, but you knew you couldn’t do this alone. Maybe that was the point.

“Really?”

“I mean, I met your family,” You half laughed, trying to make light.

“Right,” He nodded his head with a chuckle. “Well then, let’s go,”

“...Now?”

“Why not?” He started to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you have a job?” You pointed to his desk.

“Oh they just like to pay me to sit in here so nobody robs the place,” He joked as he grabbed his coat. “I have nothing going on today baby, they won’t miss me.”

“Okay then,” You shrugged uneasily. “Guess we’re going to Jersey,”

----------------

After a train ride and a taxi later, you arrived in your small town of Shallow Meadow.

“Christ Almighty, I knew Jersey was in the dark ages, but not even having Uber??” Rafael grumbled. He hadn’t been in the back of a dirty cab in such a long time, and now he remembered why.

“Alright Daddy Warbucks, chill,” You laughed as you started walking with him through town.

It was a quaint little town; one stop light, one grocery store, two bars, something out of an old movie really You know the movies where the car breaks down in the tiny shitty town and all the townspeople are flesh eating zombies or something. The people of Shallow Meadow were pretty much like that. Well, to you anyway.

“So why didn’t we just have the Mayberry Express drop us at the cemetery?”

“...Because we don’t have roads you can drive on up there,” You answered with a nervous smile.

“...Right,” He shook his head as he noticed people coming out of shops to stare at the two of you. “...Do I have some kind of weird sign on my back that says NEW YORKER or what?”

“No, but that thousand dollar suit screams “moneybags” out here,” You smirked. “Besides, they’re not staring at you they’re staring at me,”

“...What? How do you know that?”

As if it was answering his question, a girl with bright red hair dressed in farm clothing and holding a baby on her hip came sauntering up to the two of you.

“Well lookie here,” She smirked. “Miss Prissy Pants brought back herself a Prissy Papa,”

“Excuse you?” Rafael was taken aback by such rudeness by such a poorly dressed person.

“Marla back off,” You scowled at her. “Just because you’re upset I found treasure and you’re stuck with trash--”

“OH, is that what we are now? Trash?” Marla spat. “You have a lot of nerve coming back here and saying that, murderer,”

“WHOA,” Rafael stepped in front of you. “I’m sorry, what-- what did you just call her?”

“Did she not tell you the story? Oh no wait I bet she did, her version. The version where she’s the victim and we’re all just the villains. Isn’t that right, Prissy?” She glared at you.

“...I never said you were--” You tried defending yourself.

“Really?” She scoffed. “Then why did you not even bother to show up to your folks’ funeral? Their ONLY daughter, the ones they DIED for. Couldn’t even be bothered to leave her high rise in the city to pay respects to the parents she KILLED,”

“It wasn’t like that and you KNOW it, Marla! And why was I going to come back? The only two people left in this town that tolerated me were gone--” You got up in her face.

“AND WHY IS THAT, Y/N?” She got back in yours, her baby almost falling out of her arms.

“Alright lady I don’t know who you are, but you’re going to back the hell off my fiancée--”

“Oh good God, your fiancé?” Marla laughed. “You would find yourself a sugar daddy, since you killed yours,”

“Alright you know what we’re leaving--” You grabbed Rafael’s hand and stomped away towards a huge hill that had a sign reading “CEMETERY” at the top.

“I hope you’re heading up there to beg their forgiveness Y/N, ‘cuz you sure as hell ain’t getting any down here!” Marla yelled angrily after you.

--------------

“...Well I think we just figured out where your forgiveness issues came from,” Rafael tried making light of the situation.

“Ya think?” You nodded.

“This whole time,” Rafael shook his head. “This whole time I thought you just had it in your mind that you were responsible for their death. But-- but you had an entire town telling you that,”

“...Yeah,” You shrugged.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything, baby?” Rafael took your hand as the hill got steeper.

“Because I thought they were right, Rafael!” You said in a ‘duh’ tone. “Why would I tell you that an entire town thought that I was a murderer? That’s not really a selling point on a partner,”

“...You thought they were right?”

“...Well, yeah,” You nodded softly with a small smile.

“And now…?”

Before you could answer, you reached the entrance of the cemetery. Luckily it wasn’t that big; you were ashamed to admit you didn’t even know where they were buried. But you found them in a small corner under a shade tree. You walked up to their mutual headstone:

“Y/M/N AND Y/D/N: Beloved Husband And Wife, Mayor and First Lady.”

“...Mayor?” Rafael looked at you in surprise.

“Yeah, well--” You shrugged. “You see why they were so beloved, and I was the hellish daughter that killed them?”

“Y/N…” Rafael put a hand on your shoulder.

“I was supposed to want to ‘take over the city’, like I would ever want to be in charge of anything in this stupid backwards hick ass town,” You scoffed angrily, tears stinging your eyes.

“...But didn’t you say that your parents wanted you to go to Juliard? Pursue your dreams?” Rafael asked in confusion.

“They did! My grandparents-- they had a different view,” You shook your head. “The...the hierarchy here it’s-- well it’s not really a democracy,”

“...How so…?” Rafael raised an eyebrow.

“Because everyone just loved and accepted my family as, I don’t know, the ‘royal’ family?” You felt so stupid comparing your family to the Royal Family, but you didn’t know how else to explain it.

“The Mayor and First Lady titles were just...passed down, in my family. And not because they were dictators or something,” You quickly added the last part, you didn’t want Rafael to think any less of your family than he probably already did.

“People here are just...simple,” You sighed. “They accept things the way they are, they hate change. So it was just assumed that my family would always be... "the family’,”

“But you didn’t want that,” Rafael said again.

“Of course I didn’t want that!” You scoffed. “I didn’t want to just get a high school degree and then marry some ‘Cletus’ redneck man from here and have ‘heirs’ just to keep the family going!”

“But your parents understood that,” Rafael reiterated.

“It didn’t matter what my parents did or didn’t understand. My grandfather had more clout with the townspeople here,” You rolled your eyes. “My dad was the ‘mayor’, but his dad controlled everything. His father had been the mayor for over thirty years before he passed it onto my dad, who didn’t really want it either” You walked up to the headstone and ran your fingers over your father’s name.

“....So when he tried to ‘save’ me from that life, my grandpa wouldn’t hear it. He blamed me for...for manipulating them into giving me anything I wanted, like I was a spoiled little child. He blamed me for them giving me their life savings to go to Julliard instead of putting it back into the town treasury. Then he blamed me when they got killed, and he just reinstated himself as mayor! Which, I haven’t checked but I’ll be damned if he isn’t still rattling around his old ass bones in our house! He’ll just haunt this place forever!” You threw your hands up and looked down angrily at the town down below.

“Carino…” Rafael came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind. You took his hands in yours and kissed them before turning to face him. You looked into his sparkling green understanding eyes for a moment, before directing your attention back at the headstone.

“....This is Rafael Barba, mama and daddy,” You pulled him gently forward. “We’re getting married soon,”

“...Nice to meet you folks,” Rafael said awkwardly.

“...Raffi they’re dead,” You smiled jokingly.

“Right, right,” He shook his head with a small laugh.

“...He’s a very good man, daddy. I know you always wanted that. And he’s very handsome, so you’ll have beautiful grandchildren mama, just like you wanted,” You smiled while Rafael softly chuckled.

“...I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come,” You finally said with tears rolling down your cheeks. “I should have been here sooner,”

“But you’re here now,” Rafael softly rubbed your back.

“Yeah…” You nodded softly. This was the hard part.

“...I’m---I’m sorry, that I made you feel like horrible parents that night,” You tried not to cry, but the memories of that night flooded your memory the more you spoke.

“I’m sorry that you thought you needed to come see me, that you weren’t good parents if you didn’t,” Your lip trembled, you fell to your knees.

“...I’m sorry the last words you heard from me were ‘I hate you’,” You finally broke down sobbing.

“Y/N…” Rafael knelt down next to you and held you in his arms as you cried.

“Do you get now why...why I don’t think I deserve you? Why don't I think I deserve anything? Why I think I have to take everything? Fake everything? Because I am such a terrible person my own parents died thinking I hated them because I was that horrible to them!”

“They didn’t think you hated them, carino,” Rafael rocked you back and forth. “They knew you loved them, I know they did,”

“You know you’re probably right, Rafael. But it--I needed them to hear it,” You nodded at the gravestone.

“And?”

“...And I feel a lot better,” You smiled as Rafael wiped tears from your face.

“Really?”

“Yeah…Really,” You chuckled. “I guess that therapist really knows what she’s doing,”

“She should for the amount of money I pay her,” Rafael shook his head with a laugh as he helped you stand up.

“...Thank you for doing this with me, amor,” You sniffled, pressing your forehead against his.

“Of course, penguino,” He kissed you softly. “And, for what it’s worth--” He added as you two walked back down the hill towards town.

“I think that if your parents were alive, they would be proud of you,”

“Oh, I know my mother would take one look at you and be DAMN proud,” You both laughed at that.

“And I also think they would be appalled to see how their townspeople treat their daughter,” He glared at the town.

“Yeah well,” You shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. Not anymore,”

“I’m glad to hear it,” He took your hands as the sun started to go down in your sleepy little town. “Now can we please get back to the city before I catch something out here?”

“Yes,” You giggled, staring at him lovingly.

“Let’s go home,”

[itsadamcole]

graduation day pt.2

fem!reader x finn balor

It’s been two months since reader graduated college. Her and Finn’s new relationship is going strong. She’s applied for a position as teacher’s assistant at the college she graduated from so she has a reason to continue living nearby to be with Finn. The two decide to keep their relationship on the down low since he is her former professor. She finds out that it’s not easy to keep a relationship on the down low, especially when she finds out the teacher she is assisting is the woman that has had a thing for Finn for the longest time .... “you are so fucking hot when you’re jealous”

word count: 3.6k+

warnings: a former teacher/former student relationship, angst, smut

— here’s part 2 of “graduation day” that probably no one wanted. enjoy —

masterlist || part 1 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 ||request an imagine here

~ 18+ content below - read at your own risk ~

You’re getting ready for your first day of work when your phone begins to ring. You see that “finn ♡” has popped up. You answer right away.

“Look who it is,” you say, smiling as you brush out your Y/H/C hair before tying the natural waves up in a high ponytail. “I was just thinking about you.”

Your new boyfriend laughs over the phone and says, “I can only imagine what was goin’ through that pretty little head of yours. Anyway, have ya found out who ya are assigned to assist?”

As Finn talks through the phone, you put on your outfit for the day. When he’s done speaking, you say, “Not yet. I report to the English department head.” I did request to be put in the English department so there’s more of a chance that I’ll be put with you.”

The outfit you’re wearing today consists of a simple short sleeved black dress with converse black and white sneakers.

Finn says, “Well, stop my my office when ya get assigned. Maybe I can tell ya a little about the teacher ya were assigned to so ya know what to expect.”

You add some light makeup to your look as you say, “I will. I have to get to the school so I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright,” Finn says. “See ya in a bit.”

The two of you say your goodbyes. You gather your things, including phone, wallet, and little backpack in case you’re assigned to grade something.

It’s 7:30 in the morning. You woke up an hour ago to shower and get dressed. You don’t have to be at school until eight but you want to grab coffee from Dunkin.

You get into your car, throwing your things in the back.

The past two months have been anything but ordinary for you. Since graduation day, you and Finn have been attached at the hip. You're always at his place or he's over at yours. The new relationship between the two of you has needed some getting used to.

He convinced you to stay nearby by getting a job as teacher's assistant. You're getting paid a decent amount too because it's a private college. It was this or go home to New York, which would be over a thousand miles away. You were not interested in leaving Finn this soon. So you applied for the job.

Once you got hired, Finn told you that he wanted to keep the new romance between the two of you a secret. You immediately agreed. Finn's well known among the teachers and students and you had some friends in the grade below you. It wouldn't look good if it came out that you and Finn were in a relationship.

He's your former professor. You're his former student. You only graduated almost three months ago.

There's also an almost seventeen year age difference between you and Finn. You turn 23 in a few months and Finn is 39. Neither you or Finn care about the age gap. It just wouldn't look very good for either of you if the relationship between the two of you was public.

You think about the past two almost three months in the short ride to Dunkin. You go through drive-thru to get your coffee and two donuts.

A medium mocha iced coffee with some cream, sugar, and some extra mocha to make it a little more sweet. You get two glazed donuts to eat on the way to school.

You and Finn both embraced the change of relationship. You went from teacher and student to lovers. Some would find it weird, especially with the age gap, but it never bothered you or him. Finn definitely still moves like he’s in his 20s and not about to hit is 40s.

When you arrive at school, you remember the last time you were here. You pulled up almost three months ago to confess your feelings to your teacher before proceeding to sleep with him in his office. It was the best sex of your life. The few times you've had sex since have been good, but nothing compared to what happened in the office on graduation day.

You pull into a spot in the teacher's parking lot. You park in the back of the lot. Once parked, you reach back and grab your things out of the backseat before getting out of the car. You secure the backpack on your shoulders before walking toward the English building, half drank iced coffee in hand.

The campus has teachers and students roaming around. It's almost eight in the morning. You're sure a few classes have begun by now.

You take the elevator to the fourth floor, walking down the hallway. You pass Finn's office, which is only a few doors down from the head of the English department.

Once you're outside the department head's door, you knock four times then wait.

An older man, probably late 50s or early 60s, answers the door. He's dressed very professional.

"Ah, Miss L/N," he says. "I've been expecting you. Please, come in."

You give him a kind smile before walking into the larger office. You're not surprised it's a big office. He is the department head.

The name plate on his door said "Dr. Dennis Hart PhD. Head of English Department". You sit across from Dr. Hart at his desk.

Dr. Hart says, "It's always wonderful to see former students getting a job here at the school. You did phenomenal in your English classes over the last four years so this department is lucky to have you."

You give a little laugh and say, "I'm just giving back to the school that gave me an amazing college experience. It's good to be back."

The older man smiles and says, "Now. The teacher I've assigned you to is Miss Veronica Rodriguez. She's a wonderful teacher and has been teaching here for five years. She teaches 407 English to seniors and her classroom is right below us, next to Mr. Balor's classroom. I saw you had him last year for English."

You nod and say, "I did. How is Mr. Balor? He was one of my favorite teachers and I never got to say goodbye and thank you to him."

When you and Finn agreed to keep your relationship on the down low, you both also agreed to act like you haven't seen each other since graduation day to throw off any suspicions.

Dr. Hart says, "He's been good. Very excited to be coming back for his tenth year of teaching."

"Ten years, wow," you say, almost shocked. Almost. "That's a long time. I didn't even think he was old enough to be teaching ten years."

The older gentlemen laughs and says, "He's older than you probably thought. Alright, class begins in about fifteen minutes so head on down and introduce yourself to Miss Rodriguez before class begins."

You nod and thank Dr. Hart before leaving the room. You walk down the hallway, checking to make sure no one is behind you before you slip into Finn's now open office. He sits at his desk.

"Hey," Finn says, facial expression brightening when he sees you. "How'd it go? Who ya assisting for the semester?"

You sit across from Finn at his desk and say, "Veronica Rodriguez. You know anything about her?"

Finn blinks at you before he says, "She's been up my butt for years. She's had a thing for me since she started teaching here and it's not a secret either. It's also not a secret that I've been rejecting her over and over again. She's a good teacher. She just needs to leave me alone."

You raise your eyebrows and say, "Wow. Well, don't worry. I'll do everything I can to keep her away from you."

He smiles and you look at the time. Ten minutes before class. You stand up and say, "Well, I've got to go to class. Are we meeting up for lunch here?"

Finn nods and says, "Of course. I'll see ya then."

You smile and lean over the desk, pressing a very light kiss to Finn's lips before leaving the room.

You head downstairs, walking to the classroom.

When you reach your destination, you knock on the door before opening it.

Miss Rodriguez is a younger woman. She's probably early or mid 30s and she's beautiful.

She looks at you and says, "You must be Y/N L/N. Dennis told me I'd be getting a teacher's assistant this semester and he told me you were a former student."

You nod and say, "That's me, and yes I am. I graduated in May." It's now mid-August.

Miss Rodriguez says, "Well, it's nice to meet you. You can call me Veronica or Ver, whichever you like. You don't need to be formal with me since we're co-workers."

You give her a nice smile. She seems like a very nice person. She tells you the schedule of her classes. Two classes on Monday and Thursdays. One class on Tuesdays, three on Wednesdays, none on Friday, and a late night class on Saturday. The only very early classes are on Monday and Thursday at 8:20 in the morning.

As students start trickling in, Veronica says, "I teach seniors who aren't very awake this early. This can be a little tricky sometimes but you'll get the hang of it. When I'm out sick or visiting family, I'd like you to come in and just assign some work then you can dismiss the class."

You nod.

Right as Veronica begins class, you look over at the doorway to see Finn standing there. You try not to have a reaction as Veronica notices. "Mr. Balor," she says. "Nice to see you. How was your summer?"

Finn says, "Eventful." You have to cover your smile. "How was your summer, Ver."

"A little less eventful," she says. "I stayed in most of the time, reading books. Um, why didn't you return my calls?"

You raise your eyebrows a bit and Finn glances at you before he says, "Like I said, my summer was very eventful. I apologize."

Veronica says, "Well maybe we can just skip over the phone calls and you can take me out to dinner."

Jealousy hits you like a truck. You want to say something but you know you can't. All you can do is bite your lip to stay quiet.

Finn gives a breathy laugh and he says, "After class we'll talk. Oh, and Y/N?" You look at him. "Nice to see that ya keep gnawing on that lip of yours. I'd stop doing that before ya cut it open."

He said that to you on graduation day. Your face heats up a little bit and let your lip snap back into place.

The door to the classroom closes and class begins.

***

After class ends, you make your way up to Finn's office. He's still in class so you sit in the spiny chair behind his desk.

Several minutes pass before you hear his voice outside. Not only his voice but Veronica's too. You hide under Finn's desk as the two walk into the room.

"... didn't tell me no in front of my students," Veronica is saying. "I'm thankful for that."

Finn says, "I've told ya no many times. I'm not interested in ya, Ver. You're a nice woman, and I'd even say attractive, but I'm not interested."

Veronica is quiet before she says, "Is it because of a wife? Or a girlfriend? Because I don't care about that, Finny. You know this"

"Get out of my office, Ver," Finn sighs, clearly annoyed. "Now."

You hear someone leave and peek out to see only Finn in the room. He looks over and sees you peeking out from over the desk.

He says, "Ya can come out, Y/N."

Slowly, you make your way out from under the desk and walk up to Finn. "I don't like how she can openly flirt with you," you say, pouting.

Finn's hands intertwine with yours and he says, "I'm all yours, my princess."

You pout some more and say, "It's not fair, Finn."

He says, "Relax, Y/N. I have no interest in her whatsoever. It's only you." He presses light kisses to your cheek and you look at Finn. His light kisses make their way to your neck, making you sigh.

"We are not doing this in your office again," you gasp as Finn grips your thighs right under your butt.

He smiles against your neck and says, “I never said we would, love.”

You giggle and say, “Come by my place when you get off work and we can do that there.”

Finn says, “I’ll definitely be there at four then.” You smile and nod before pecking his lips.

“I should head down to the classroom to make sure everything’s okay,” you say. “I’ll come back at lunch.”

He nods and says, “I’ll see ya in a few hours. Maybe I’ll come check on ya to make sure ya are okay.”

You smile and say, “If you hear yelling coming from my classroom then you should come running because I might be about to kill Veronica.”

Finn laughs and says, “Don’t kill her, Y/N. Please.”

You peck Finn’s lips before leaving the classroom.

Veronica dumps a little work for you to do. Just to make sure that everyone did the in-class assignment and to mark people who didn’t.

Noon hits and you go to the cafeteria to grab your lunch. You are in line when someone comes up behind you. You glance behind you to see Finn.

“Y/N,” he says. “Good to see ya again. How was your summer?”

You nod and say, “Good. Very eventful. How was yours, Mr. Balor?”

Finn says, “Also eventful. How about ya come by my office and have lunch with me so we can catch up?”

As you grab your lunch, you nod and say, “That sounds good.”

Finn laughs softly as the two of you grab your lunch. You pay and Finn pays before the two of you head to the office.

You walk into the office and Finn closes the door behind you. You sigh and sit at Finn’s desk. You begin to eat and Finn says, “I can’t wait for this day to be over.”

“I agree,” you say, swallowing the bite of your veggie burger.

The door opens and Veronica walks in. She says, “We usually have lunch together, Finny.” She sounds like a child and it annoys you.

Finn has a look on his face and he says, “We had lunch together one time, Ver.”

Veronica says, “It’s a little inappropriate to have lunch with a former student.”

“We’re catching up,” Finn says. “And she works in the department now. She’s a co-worker now.”

You look back at Veronica and you say, “You know what’s actually inappropriate? Begging someone to go out with you when said someone isn’t interested.”

Finn’s eyes widen and Veronica says, “Excuse me. That’s no way to speak to me. I can have your job.”

You smirk and say, “Go ahead. Try to take my job, but imagine what would happen if I went to your superior and told them that you harass Mr. Balor here.”

Veronica says, “Dr. Hart spoke so highly of you and you are not what I expected.”

“Yeah, well, I can tell that Mr. Balor is tired of your shit and he’s too nice to say anything about it so I will,” you say, turning in your seat to face Veronica. “I’m telling you now because he won’t. Back off of him.”

She looks taken aback by my comment. Her jaw is almost to the floor and Finn’s hiding a smile behind his hands.

Veronica says, “Keep speaking to me in that matter and I’ll make your life hell for the semester.”

A comeback immediately comes into your head as you say, “It’s already hell because I’m assigned to you.”

Veronica has a pissed off look on her face and she says, “Whatever.” She leaves the office and you look at Finn. He’s looking right at you.

“Ya are so fucking hot when you’re jealous and telling someone off,” he says.

You giggle and say, “Relax Finny Boy. A few more hours then you can do whatever you want to me.”

“Oh, I plan on doing whatever I want to ya,” he says, smirking at me.

***

You get back to your apartment at 3:30. Finn won’t be here for a half hour so you decide to get into something a little sexier than this plain black dress.

You put on a white lacy bodysuit. The whole thing is a little bit see through and the neck dips down low, exposing your cleavage. You keep your hair up and lay across the bed, laying on your side and facing the door.

Finn has a key. You gave him the extra key you had so he can walk into the apartment whenever he wants to. He’s only scared you once and he learned his lesson.

At four on the dot, the front door to your apartment opens and you hear Finn call, “Y/N?”

“Bedroom,” you call back.

The door is open and several seconds later, Finn appears in the doorway. His neatly tied tie now hangs draped over his neck and the first few buttons on his shirt are now unbuttoned.

His eyes darken with lust when he sees what you’re wearing.

“Like something you see, Finn?” you tease.

He nods and he keeps staring at you. You get off the bed and you walk up to Finn.

You hook your fingers in the belt hooks of Finn’s pants and look up at him. You say, “You’re mine, Finn. All mine.”

Finn echos, “All yours, my love.”

You smirk and say, “Good. Now fuck me until I can’t walk.”

That’s all Finn needs to hear before he picks you up by your thighs and walks you over to the bed. His lips are on your neck as he walks over to your bed. You gasp and giggle.

He drops you on your back on the bed and kicks off his shoes while starting to unbutton his pants.

You bite your lip gently as Finn undresses himself in front of you. Your eyes trace every muscle on his body.

Finn’s down to his boxers when he crawls on top of you, hovering over you between your legs. His lips crash to yours and they move harshly. You move your hips so your crotch rubs against Finn’s bulge. He lets out a low groan into the kiss then pins your hips to the bed. “I don’t think so, love,” he says, pulling away from the rough kiss. Ya told me to fuck ya until ya can’t walk so no teasing.”

You pout as Finn gets on his knees between your legs. His fingers hook onto the straps of your lingerie and he pulls the piece down until your naked as the day you were born.

Finn smirks as he admires your body. His hands roam a bit and you smile, watching his hands. They dip below your waist and his fingers run through your folds. You gasp as Finn pushes two fingers into you.

“Oh, Finn,” you sigh. He moves his fingers hard into you, scissoring you open. Your gasps and moans fill the room. You grab onto the silky bedsheets.

Finn move his fingers in and out of you roughly and quickly for a few moments before he pulls them out. You whine and look at Finn.

“Patience, my love,” he says, pulling off his boxers so his erect member is free. You reach out for it and Finn pins your wrists to the bed.

Finn leans down and says in your ear, “Tonight’s about ya, love. I’m gonna make sure ya know that I belong to ya and ya only.”

As soon as he’s done talking, he pushes himself into you. You moan softly and you put your hand on Finn’s biceps. As he begins to thrust into you, you dig your fingers into Finn’s arm.

Finn’s hands are on either side of your head, propping himself up. Your legs are wrapped securely around Finn’s waist as he moves hard and deep into you. His forehead rests on yours.

He moves roughly but almost in a careful way. He’s never moved like this before.

You slide your hands to Finn’s cheeks as he moves. You kiss his lips slowly, moaning as his thrusts get faster.

After a second, you roll and straddle Finn’s waist. You lower yourself onto his member and move your hips. His hands are on your waist, helping you move your hips.

“I’m yours,” Finn moans. “All yours, Y/N.”

You echo, “All mine.” You ride Finn like you never have before. You move like he moved. Roughly but carefully.

Finn sighs, “Come with me, princess.”

You nod and Finn counts down from three. Both of you come together, like the first time the two of you had sex in Finn’s office. You moan and cry out as you release around Finn. He groans as he releases his seed into you.

You roll off Finn and lay beside Finn.

As you both lay on the bed beside each other, you say, “That felt different but a good different.”

He laughs softly and says, “It did. It felt really good. I loved it.”

“And I love you,” you suddenly blurt out. You quickly cover your mouth and look at Finn.

The Irishman smiles and he leans over, kissing your neck softly. He mumbles by your ear, “I love ya too.”